#game meta

[cattimeswithjellie]

So looking at Cleo's timer when Scar turned red and then again at the end of the session, Scar turned red and logged out about 27 minutes before the end of the session. During that time, Skizz also turned red, about 24 minutes after Scar did, and remained logged on until the end of the session (Grian showed the players online list in his outro, Skizz was on but not Scar). Everything we've seen suggests that the timer does not run when the players are not logged in.

It doesn't seem like Scar logging out after turning red was necessarily planned, but it would not be the first time that Scar has logged out early from a session (missing the pool party in Double Life, for instance) even if it would have game implications. Three hours is about the limit of Scar's recording stamina based on his streams, so he may have hung in there just long enough to go Red and then checked out for the evening. Understandable, but what does it mean for the state of the game?

It would seem, if nothing is done to change the timers, that when Session 6 begins Scar will be at 7:59 while everyone else will be at their 27-minutes-later time, including Skizz at 7:54. That puts Skizz at first in line to run out of time instead of Scar. It's possible that they'll just have Scar log in before everyone else next week and run his timer for the missing time, but that doesn't seem exactly fair to him since the other players had the advantage of those 27 minutes to do useful things. On the other hand, Grian lost three hours of play time to his nasty flu the other week and chose to play it out that way. It'lll be interesting to see if there's an attempt at correction there or if everyone just assumes that Scar will take himself out soon enough and that half hour just isn't going to matter that much. We shall see!

[snowimatsu]

Save your Hesokuri Wars ID & Password before the app closes!! It might end up important later (according to the last scene in the new/last hesowars event story

unTLed image under the cut

[eternal-moss]

Update:

Baizhu is home!! Within the 110 ish pulls so far I have

One Baizhu

Three Candaces (who I haven’t had until now)

Four Kavehs

One Diluc (he’s now at C3!!)

And zero Ganyus which is a shame

Fully in Baizhu mode right now, and heavily messing around with artifacts and weapons, but a team that I really enjoy is Cyno & Tighnari shared DPS, with high ER Kazuha swirling electro to buff Cyno, and Baizhu providing interruption and healing and dendro. Then once Cyno’s burst ends, swapping to Tighnari, who I’ve spent a long time building and is actually a very solid DPS as well.

[probablybadrpgideas]

The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters

[techdriveplay]

How to Improve Your Gaming Skills

In the competitive gaming landscape, where esports tournaments and online multiplayer games dominate, every gamer aspires to level up their abilities. Whether you’re a casual player looking to climb the ranks or a dedicated gamer aiming to compete professionally, knowing how to improve your gaming skills is crucial. This guide will explore the strategies and techniques that can transform your…

[bite-the-bloody-hand]

On Trickster Path, Tricksterism, and Playing Tricks

I've been making my way through the Trickster path in WOTR after giving Azata a taste. I really like Azata, there's a lot of fun in there and Aivu is, naturally, the best girl. But I've been so curious about the Trickster path and wanted to see how Owlcat would handle such an interesting archetype. This isn't really a critique of the path so much as an exploration of what I've seen thus far (mid-act 5 on my own playthrough, though I've seen letsplays of a few path endings).

Primarily, I'm left with a desperate wish for there to be cohesive writing throughout the game. Not really something fair to want in a modern game, so instead of kvetching about that I'd like to explore how Owlcat presents the definitive difference between playing tricks and Being A Trickster. As well as just my general thoughts about Trickster path stuff. I have a lot of those, so please, enjoy this readmore. It's the only thing protecting you now.

Fellow Tricksters, please feel free to add your own thoughts and musings in replies or tags; I'd love to see how the rest of you explore this playground.

Tricksters are narrative archetypes I love to explore, and are largely categorized as agents of pure chaos... which I think is disingenuous and the sickness at the heart of America core of the fascination I have with the writing for Trickster in WotR.

More than just pranks and randomness, a true Trickster is one whose purpose it is to unveil the truth of something no matter how grim or frightening or yucky it is, expressly to inspire or force change of the status quo. That feels like more or less the thread Paizo was going for in their original writing. Owlcat doesn't have the luxury of relying on Theater of the Mind to flesh out the worldstate scenarios we interact with, so seeing how they've balanced the different types of Tricksterism is fascinating.

In Pathfinder WotR, mechanically speaking, there are many different ways to be a Trickster type. You have a sliding scale of controlled madness to complete mayhem to choose from. The easiest way I can think of to describe this is the Bugs Bunny vs Daffy Duck trickster dynamic*.

On one side you have Bugs: Passive, intellectual, friendly, open, cunning, calm, professionally effective. His antics seem random if you aren't paying attention to context clues. IE, his costume changes generally reflect the personality of his adversary, and allow him the opportunity to counter that adversary with their own strength. Favorite example: Bugs impersonating legendary conductor Leopold Stokoski♬ to humble an Opera singer. In doing so, he unveils the singer's true nature as a slave to the craft rather than a lover of music. His Tricksterism is generally externalized (tricking the other), in self-defense, or benign.

On the other you have Daffy: Aggressive, pseudointellectual, bullying, closed-off, adaptive, manic, dangerously amateur. Daffy's antics seem random if you don't know his tell - all of his costume changes are chosen specifically to make him look more heroic and powerful than his opponent, and his failure to be that ultimately leads either to his humorous downfall while also, somehow, allowing him to avoid total disaster. Favorite Example: The Scarlet Pumpernickel. Daffy once again proves true that faking your way to success will only get you so far. Daffy's Tricksterism is generally internalized (tricking the self), weaponized, and violent.

They're both Tricksters; they both harass and bother Elmer while attempting to also get one over on each other. Bugs' 'give 'em enough rope to hang themselves' ability to gracefully react to any given situation is directly opposed by Daffy's in-your-face too-crazy-not-to-work screwball energy.

In WotR, you have the mechanical flexibility to make a Bugs type (like me, call Zell Bugs Bunnicula) or a Daffy type. Or maybe you're a little more bodacious and overtly mean, like Foghorn Leghorn. Maybe you've decided to squish 'em all together and go FUCK IT, CHAOS REIGNS. Mechanically, you can do whatever!

But then there's the way your choices are reflected in-game. The way you interact with being a Trickster is so... strange. A real 'have your cake and fuck it too' scenario is what I'm sayin here. Let's start with your link to the Trickster Path, Socothbenoth.

Your Trickter patron being Socothbenoth is an interesting choice. I wouldn't call him a Trickster so much as a deceptive and manipulative creep, an archetypal demon who thinks he's more clever than he actually is. Not fully beating the Daffy allegations, but not nearly on the same level as Mister The Duck**. His goal isn't to reveal a Truth, or even to make himself look better, it's to Bully. He cares about things being surprising, revels in chaos and champions meanness, but at the end of the day his tricks are just... mean tricks. His deceptions are shallow and petty.

His manipulative schemes? WACK.

His comedic timing? WHAT comedic timing?WACK.

Yeah, sure. He's tricky.

But at the end of the day, they're just tricks. And what the Knight Commander can do to interact with him and the rest of the council are just tricks. For the player - the real Trickster in the driver's seat - there's no way to cater your tricks to your target unless we're talking about a strictly combat situation. (This is me lamenting the lack of variety in how your mythic path choices are written out, to be clear)

Socothbenoth is just mean and happens to also be cunning and evasive, but hardly seems to have any interest in truth or change... just chaos. He wants everyone to see him as charming and funny and a trickster, but he isn't one.

Barring Shyka - naturally - the rest of the council seem simply to exist as examples of alignment archetypes to bully and lie to. Not a trick in the true sense, all you're doing is manipulating them into fighting each other for reasons you yourself fully don't understand yet***

Which, I think, is fantastic. Shyka - the true Trickster here - chilling in the background and letting Socothbenoth run things until he either succeeds or gets hoisted by his own petard via Knight Commander. It's a marvelous bait and switch to set up Socothbenoth, and you only ever see it come to fruition if you play a certain way. You really have to dig for as many secrets and uncover as much truth as possible to really get one over on him, and the payoff feels good. Especially if you're playing for the Secret Ending. Yet it still comes off as pretty cheap if the conceit is you know to upset the council because you've always known to do so, because Shyka. I feel like there could have been something more to really pull it together, instead of leaning on the 'useless council' gag or Shyka's presence.

If you aren't working towards the Secret Ending and don't have any intention of betraying Socothbenoth... what's the point, other than to entertain him? It's not outright stated that I can tell, but unless you're really going for the gold all you truly end up being is this motherfucker's court jester. I suppose for those on the Evil Trickster path Socothbenoth's whole thing is more appealing, but uhhhh couldn't be me fam. It feels like Owlcat wasn't necessary pushing a preferred narrative on the player, but someone over there definitely gets the difference between Real Trickster Shit and Elevated Class Clown.

That's enough on Socothbenoth, let's talk about Thaberdine! I love him. Personally, I don't conflate drunkenness with Tricksterism the way the game narrative does, though I do feel like it was a missed opportunity to have the commander bleed moonshine rather than, say... gin. He really has the silliness about him and brings a special kind of levity to the path storyline.**** I like to imagine him played by Peter Postlethwaite and his entourage as a bunch of Muppets. Which seems to be what the game writers were going for, because Trickster Drezen truly does feel like a street scene in a Muppet movie.

Continuing on the theme of Truth in Trickery, I like that you have the option to name him King of either the Tavern, Sarkoris, or all of Golarion. King of the Tavern feels like the most true path for him by my estimation, but that reality-bending potential to re-write what's really true in the world is so neat. It's not just for the sake of the joke, but taking Thaberdine's whole-hearted and unflappable improv schtick and making it be true because he makes it feel true is the HEIGHT of comedy. That's the kind of thing that really gets me going about certain Live-Play series, particularly Dimension 20. Rewarding someone for committing to the bit is such a great detail. It also reinforces the later 'Game Master' decision you can make at the war table***** as something that a character who absolutely knows about tabletop gaming would do.

I think I'm about at the point where I can wind this up, for now. In all I think there are many aspects of the Trickster path that really get into the meat of what being a Trickster in the mythical sense really means, while being unfortunately hampered by the limits of game design. It's inspiring, definitely. My own plans for writing out a bespoke adventure for my character picking from both the game and the original adventure path are only going to be enhanced by what Owlcat gave us, IMO.

So... what about you? What do you like about being a Trickster? How far is my head stuck up my own ass? How hot or cold are my takes?

*Specifically the Chuck Jones era Bugs and Daffy. Their characterizations have shifted in some ways since Jones' day, and I feel like Chuck's rules for these two characters are a good foundation to apply what I mean here.

**this honestly feels a little unfair because writing Daffy is HARD and the fact that they really seemed to go for a Daffy/Marvel Loki/Jared Leto's Joker mashup with Socothbenoth is worth celebrating, even if it didn't quite hit the mark.

***It does not escape me that a lot of the Trickster path writing seems slanted towards making fun of people who read spoiler guides to plan out their gameplay experience. Or, y'know, make sure they hit a specific prompt so they don't play another 300 hours and get whammied by The Bad End. And I personally think the handwave that since Shyka is there and you merge in some timelines means you know exactly how to manipulate the council is CHEAP. WHERE'S THE STYLE? WHERE'S THE PANACHE? UGH.

****Owlcat I am literally begging you to let me play a chaotic drunken master moNK ALIGNMENT LOCKING MONKS IS SO GOOFY WHYYYYYYYYYY DOES JACKIE CHAN MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!?!?!?!?

*****I KNOW it's not the war table I just miss Dragon Age

♬Leopold Stokowski was a conductor famous for not using a baton, instead directing the orchestra with full body and hand gestures, which must have been a blast for the animators on that Bugs short. His reinterpretations of classical pieces are still a hotly debated subject to this day! Fans of Disney's Fantasia will also recognize him as the conductor for that production. Personally, I'm a huge fan of his work and highly recommend listening to his interpretations of Stravinsky's Firebird and Rachmaninov's Scheherazade

[nunyabznsbabes]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes fine that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games in the pursuit of vengeance, but later stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games, and he sees the ghost of his own past. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He's up against the version of himself that he once wished to be, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

[ringtoned]

suzanne collins is such a genius... the cultural phenomenon of her series leading to the hanging tree house remixes, mockingjay being milked for two (bad) movies, the capitol-inspired makeup palettes, the halloween costumes, the explosion of the market for dystopia, the butchering of her characters and removal of disabilities, disfiguration, and racial tension + representation to sell more tickets, the extra gale scenes to fuel discourse, and the audience showing up to cinemas to watch what was pretty honestly marketed to them (the jacob vs edwardification of the symbolic love story and also to watch children fight to the death) it's just so ridiculously ironic i would say you can't write this shit, but she did write about it... in The Hunger Games published 2008

[vivicendium]

i think something that elevates the hunger games franchise is not just the quality of writing but the integrity of it. tbosas isn’t just a cash-grab by suzanne collins in the age of sequels and reboots (though i won’t pretend that didn’t play a part), it’s a character study of the main antagonist with a different structure than the main trilogy. and importantly, it doesn’t just re-hash the same old themes and beats the main trilogy had, it expands on not just the world of the hunger games but the themes as well, it actually has something new to say about the trilogy’s themes about class, capitalism, power, and control, in a way that couldn’t be explored with the main story because the protagonist of that story simply did not have access to the world that’s being explored in tbosas.

i understand the people who call for books/movies to be made about haymitch, finnick, johanna, different years of the games — we love those characters and want to see more of them! i’d kill for a novella on finnick’s days mentoring tributes, or katniss’s parents falling in love. but at the end of the day we probably wouldn’t be very satisfied with those stories being fleshed out if they had absolutely nothing new to say about the world, they’d be enjoyable, but not as interesting and engaging as tbosas has been.

[neo--queen--serenity]

Lena losing her patience and furiously berating Gwen for potentially endangering the staff members of the OAIR is quite literally the opposite of how Elias ran the Archives.

Elias used the Archival staff—as well as his Archivist—as pawns that can be readily replaced as needed. His patron offered them minimal protections at best (the Archivist’s privileges notwithstanding), and even then, he would never actually intervene to save any of them if they were in danger, much less take precautions to protect them at their headquarters. They are used as bait, as sacrifices, as currency, as objects. The listener knows, eventually, how easily he could discard them if his plans called for it.

But Lena. This episode showed us that Lena keeps her entire organization running through keeping her subordinates hidden, safe, and unnoticed by the Externals. It’s quite clear through her conversation with Gwen that such a safety risk has never happened before.

As far as we know, Lena has successfully kept all of her employees alive, watched them come and go, bemoaned the turnover rate, and then got them to look the other way while they documented and dutifully filed the horrors.

But most impressive of all, she’s kept her real work hidden from her subordinates, and her subordinates hidden from her real work—a feat Elias had no interest or desire to accomplish.

[gale-force-storm]

Thinking about the fact that, to pull Gale from the stone and get him in the game at all, you have to decide to try to touch an extremely dangerous looking swirling mass of unstable magic. Something that is, objectively, a terrible idea

Like, the options it gives you are to either touch the sigil or leave, and if you leave you just... don't get Gale in the party

You have to take the risk. You have to let your curiosity override your common sense. You have to look at this unstable, possibly dangerous malfunctioning magic sigil and go "...Ok, but what if I poke it?"

In short, to get Gale in your party, you have to do exactly what he would in that situation, and indulge in a moment of reckless curiosity. And I just think that's delightful

[nettedtangible]

An idea I love is when the Foxes become a more well-respected team in the league, Wymack starts talking to them about being “role models” and that they have all these young fans now who look up to them. And Neil is just horrified.

Then the Exy league organises this like, pre-game warm up meet and greet thing where they do some drills and games with the kids of the local teams in the area.

Everyone expects to have to keep Andrew away from the kids but he’s actually fantastic with them. He’s blunt and honest but he does try very hard and they absolutely love him.

Neil spends the entire time running away from the children and hiding behind Wymack (he tried hiding behind Andrew but Andrew was actually getting along with the little demons)

Kevin hates it but the kids LOVE him, they think it’s hilarious how grumpy and angry he gets and they keep falling over themselves laughing anytime he yells. They keep asking him to “do the grumpy voice” he starts yelling in French and they think it’s just about the funniest thing that’s ever happened.

Dan and Renee are keeping the whole thing on track, actually running through the drills and teaching the kids with endless patience. Dan has a little mini me girl who’s like 10 and the captain of her team and just wants to be Dan so bad so Dan gives her a whistle and she’s just shadowing her all day, blowing her whistle whenever Dan tries to get someone’s attention.

Aaron and Allison hang back and only very reluctantly interact with the children.

Matt is the equivalent of a climbing gym. He has about 4 children hanging off various limbs at any given time and a little 6 year old has taken up permanent residence on his shoulders.

Nicky loooves it and teaches the kids all of bad words and gets them to play pranks on Kevin- which results in Kevin yelling at him and he and the kids falling over laughing.

One child seems to be really isolated and quiet. Neil sits with this kid so Wymack will stop yelling at him to get involved. They don’t talk at all but Neil gives the kid some gum and the kid manages a little smile.

[peetapiepita]

Something a lot of people don't realise is that Katniss likes Peeta as a person.

That plays a far bigger part in her wanting to spend her life with him than his undying love for her. It's not like how Gale imagined it or some readers interpret it to be, that Katniss loves Peeta because of how much he loves her and is devoted to her.

For a long time, Peeta's undying love for her only made her feel guilty because she thought she couldn't give him what he wanted, which we know is completely false, but she got it in her head.

She assumed Peeta wanted children and never bothered to ask. She assumed Peeta wanted her undying love as well and thought she didn't harbor that feeling for him. Both were wrong, but the point is that Peeta "simping" for her did nothing for him to win her over.

She wants to be with Peeta because they always get along from the moment they're put together. They enjoy each other's company and have intellectual and deep conversations. They didn't even realize how soul-searching it was when they talked about wanting to die as their true selves on the roof before the first game. But they've been like that from day one.

Katniss had been spending a lot more time with Gale by that point, but they had never talked about something that deep. That's part of the reason their relationship starts falling apart the moment they need to align their morals. They never talked about it, period.

Katniss and Peeta are compatible in morals, ideals, and even humor. They can laugh together in a deadly game. They can tease each other in any circumstances. That's what makes their relationship enjoyable. That's why they'd still end up together even if the games never happened. I stand by that.

[xplore-the-unknwn]

"Who needed wealth and success and power when they had love? Didn't it conquer all?" -Coriolanus Snow

Yup. That's it. That's the end of their story. No need to turn the other pages that's the end of the book. Coriolanus Snow finally learned all the right lessons. They lived happily ever after. (in denial)

After watching this franchise and reading the books- I just love that Katniss and Peeta at the last scene of the series are in the meadow living their lives peacefully, the very SAME meadow where Snow once considered "Didn't Love conquer all?".

It did.

[medusaesque]

Kim's itchy trigger finger

So, Kim reaches for his gun often. Very often. sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons- opening the bear fridge, the experiment in the church, a note from Klaasje.

This one is just from being anxious going into the communist reading group. Kim doesn't want to be the kind of cop who draws his gun constantly, who shoots instinctively, but he is, or at the very least it's very difficult for him to stop himself from becoming one.

Perhaps the most horrifying example is with The Pigs-

Even if he KNOWS the gun isn't loaded, even if he knows it's safe, the instinctual muscle twitch could have ended in an unnecessary death. Kim is very well aware of that fact, and it's horrifying to him. @shufflerock-jam has this really good post about it, where they wonder how many of Kim's kills were unnecessary. "Something about a pair of traumatized cops, one fighting against shooting himself and one fighting against shooting everyone else".

At the end of The Pigs exchange, if Harry says she tried to kill him, Kim begins to interject, but stops himself and agree this situation could've been very bad. Then Empathy chimes in- 'He's trying not to think about how bad it could have been had the gun been loaded.' Which is the heart of the issue, right? that leads us to Eyes-

This is such a fascinating background to give Kim as a character- not just losing his partner, which gives him the trauma and survivor's guilt that lead to this unhealthy relationship with his gun and frankly with death in general, but losing his Eyes, and having that not interfere with his shooting. Kim doesn't need to see well to hit, he doesn't need to think. It's all in his hands, a reflex. A reflex that nearly took an innocent life. That might have taken one before.

His awareness of looming danger, to him and to his partner, is fueling his version of Hand/Eye Coordination to have him constantly on edge, his whole body is like a loaded spring, always prepared to make sure it doesn't happen again. Then it does-

In his nightmare scenario, leaning over his partner's bleeding body, Kim only needs one word to shoot without a second's hesitation. He's never not ready to take that shot. He doesn't need his Eyes.

Harry is distraught to discover he's killed before- his body remembers it. He wants a drink to soften the feeling. Kim however is impressed with how little he's killed- especially coming from the bloody murder unit. He wants to be 'one of the good ones' (Kim's adamant belief in the possibility of a Good Cop is a whole other can of worms) the kind of cop he would think highly of. Kim is disgusted by cops who kill like it's a game. Espirit gives us a vision of a cop exactly like that, who kills so often it doesn't feel like anything anymore. In a way that is completely mechanical- no thought, no feelings, just a thing your body does. Not unlike the way Kim shoots- like a spring unloaded. Kim has 6 confirmed kills before the tribunal, double the amount Harry has. He doesn't react the same way though-

It's doesn't bother Kim that he has killed, even if he declines to elaborate on it, and he seems to frown upon (or worry about) Harry's destructive coping mechanism. If they're unable to save Ruby, he says "Control your emotions. We did our job. This won't be the worst thing that happens on this case… believe me. You can't let this break you." When you wake up after the tribunal, he doesn't dwell on the lost lives on either side. Harry's skills call him a killer, a bloodstained killer, but when he tells Kim he also killed he simply nods. He's smoking though. I'm not saying that Kim is heartless or careless, he's rattled by nearly blowing The Pigs' head off, very sorry for the lives lost during the case, and clearly hunted by death, having been surrounded by it for his entire life. But I do think death is a part of the job for him- not just possible civilian causalities, but his own potential death. He speaks plainly about how he might die in the lie of duty, and he narrowly avoided it more than once, with others dying in his place..

He walked into the line of fire with harry expecting for of them to die, and his quick fingers on the trigger made it so they lived another day. Even if more ghost joined the list that hunts him in his sleep, he is alive. He goes on. He can't afford to fix this habit, as much as he wants to.

So it's so horrible and so touching that when Dros asks "What have you done?" Kim says-

It's a tragedy, really. A wartime orphan who wanted to be a revolutionary pilot and played with Franconigerian knights, who grew up to be a cop, a job that slowly shapes his body into a killing machine. And when you ask what he does, what you both do, he says keep people alive.

[pizzazz-party]

based solely on chaos’ design floating around on the internet, i have a theory.

that’s maegara’s body. chaos is literally possessing maegara’s body. (that is maegara’s one bat wing.)

that is chaos’ old design being held in maegara’s hand. it’d be one thing if it looked more like, i don’t know, a snakeskin? like something chaos had naturally shed and sloughed off? but instead it looks like someone (probably chronos) ripped out chaos’ head and spinal cord in battle. and i think that makes sense, that the two of them would have squared off. chaos is not like the fates. they loved nyx, they would have left their realm and fought for nyx directly.

the living fetus trailing out of the head’s mouth tells me this kind of injury is something chaos can naturally, eventually, regenerate from. but in the meanwhile, recovery on their own means being vulnerable. a primordial entity in the shape of a fetus is still a fetus. in the meantime, chaos would need a new body, a temporary vessel they’d be capable of defending themself with.

the only question is if maegara volunteered for this.

but i think she might have.

if this still sounds bonkers, consider it doylistically. chaos’ original design was unique and striking. do you honestly think supergiant would just throw away an excellent character design like that for nothing? for no story related reasons at all?

so my prediction is this: one of melinoe’s quests will involve helping restore (or speed up the restoration of) chaos’ body (which will then free maegara).