#gay ass mfs but angsty

[captainswordbunni]

Demolition Lovers

I couldnt exactly replicate the style of the album cover but I still think it turned out pretty cool!

I obviously listened to the entire album working on this lol

My fave song from the album

[hopeful-kath]

rip zuko you would've loved twin fantasy by car seat headrest

[romeoeatzkorn]

OKAY!!!!

Goldenpunk (aka Hobie x Pavitr) HCs cause I can

Hobie is a SKINNY MF (slightly from malnutrition) he’s also very light and is 6 foot something

Pavitr is pretty toned for a 16 year old and is avarage height

Hobie is a Transmasculine Enby (he/they/it he/him pref)

Pavitr is a Nonbinary Demiboy (he/him)

Pavitr when sleeping takes up a LOT of space and Hobie takes up very little so they’re perfect

THEY ARE TFT (both nonbinary)

Pavitr is Bi while Hobie is Gay

Hobie wasn’t able to afford top surgery so he got it done for free in a sketchy back alley and also cause fuck capitalism

Hobie is AFAB and has been on testosterone for 2 years (which once again he gets in a sketchy ass alley once again also cause fuck capitalism)

Pavitr is AFAB nuff said

I was informed that GRLwood is cancelled for completely fair reasons (one of the members is a sexual abuser) so i simply removed this HC

Hobie is fairly strong for such a skinny guy

Hobie doesn’t like his mom a lot

Pavitr misses his mom and thinks she would think he is a disappointment

They’re inlove

Hobie has a soft spot for stray animals of any kind so do with that HC what you will

The first time they met Hobie tried to murder Pavitr out of instinct and instinct alone

Pavitr sometimes helps Hobie with his hair but he really loves running his fingers through hobies hair same with hobie

Hobie HATES cold weather

Pavitr will complain if it’s a little too hot

Sometimes Hobie will just crash through Pavitrs window and Pavitrs basically numb to it at this point

Mentioned in the previous post but Hobie wears lipstick and is heavily affectionate so….it didn’t take a lot of people long to figure out they were going steady

Hobie constantly uses the term Necking instead of Make out cause Miguel hates it and he loves to make Miguel mad

I call the ship Chai Tea sometimes ( Chai = pavitr Tea = Hobie) just cause it feels right in my bones

Pavitrs aunt maya loves Hobie just she’s a little suspicious about the fact he’s British, not to mention she makes a FUCK ton of jokes about Hobie stealing pavitr like the british stole India's history which slay girlboss

Pavitr makes a lot of jokes about Hobie being British too

Hobie wrote an entire song about wanting to kiss Pavitr and it took Pavitr two years to figure out

Miguel hates their constant PDA so Hobie calls him Homophobic (and also a nonce)

Jess thinks that it’s sweet that they’re so affectionate with each other

Miguel will piss off Hobie and hobies like “aight OI PAVITR LETS GO NECK IN MIGUELS OFFICE”

Pavitr likes Hobies accent a lot

Same with Hobie

Hobies 17 and Pavitr is 16 but Hobie is older by 3 months

Hobie is easily flustered he just is good at hiding it

slightly angsty one but Hobie (when they were first developing crushes on each other) was terrified that pavitr would either get killed because of him or pavitr would turn out to be homophobic, this caused him to have a breakdown in the middle of a fight

Hobie and Sunspider are best friends cause WLW and NWLNW solidarity

Sometimes Gwen and Hobie hang out in Pavitrs universe but Hobie hangs out there all the time

They like to have really meaningful conversations while beating up facists

Both of them hate facists

On Hobies back there is a tatto (which he shouldnt fuckin have but once again sketchy ass alley and fuck capitalism) that says Stay woke as a reference to something said in the black community years back to fight against police brutality

stole this one from @toshkakoshka and made some adjustments but Hobie and Pavtir have matching henna designs of each others spider symbol

aunt maya did it for them

hobie will NEVER admit but he is a HUGE snuggler (also he'll never admit hes a fan of weezer)

Hobie is the parent of the friend group.

THEY ARE Black lab and golden retriver

After quitting Hobies watch slowly stops working so he started collecting small pieces of tech that were given to him by gwen and other friends who think miguel should pull the stick outta his ass and just let miles join *cough cough* sunspider *cough cough* so hobie makes the first version of the watch that gwen was given near the end of the movie, this first version has a time limit so when ever Hobie wants to go hang out with pravitr, miles or gwen (usually pravitr) he has to stay vigilent so he doesn't fucking die

and because of this and being homeless he rarely gets sleep

Pavitr and Hobie are either roughhousing when ever theyre around each other or Being a lovey dovey couple cause the fucks refuse to separate

Pavitrs type in men is tall guys with piercings and who dress androgynous his type in girls is usually gals who are the same height as him who are smart, have short hair, and can rock both the fem and masc style

Pavitrs and his Gf spilt up because they both realized they were going complete separate ways in life (she never wanted to have kids and Pav wanted kids one day) so they spilt but they are very very good friends still and are slightly queer platonic (Hobie is completely comfortable with this)

once Hobie shaved his head and when i tell you pavitr had Bisexual panic i mean it

even if the relationship was only platonic Hobie would still be heavily affectionate to Pav since thats his way of showing people he cares about them

Pav can be VERY bitey at times this annoys everyone except Hobie

Hobie writes cheesy ass love songs then plays them for pav but he never finishes them

Pavitr needs reminders that Hobie still wants to pursue a romantic relationship with him (similar to me lmao) Hobie is completely fine with this and reminds Pav when ever he needs to

Pav is a ACCIDENTAL shirt thief he forgets to give them back (same lol)

Aunt maya loves the entire group (even though they make her life slightly harder) and calls them little nicknames in arabic

here are the nicknames (Sry for the butchering im using google translate) Miles = العنكبوت الصغير Hobie = بريطاني gwen = فتاة ذكية and finally Pav = حمار (pavs is a tad mean but hes okay with it)

Hobie only lets the friend group call him Spider-punk, with anyone else? ON SIGHT ASS BEATING

Hobie AND Pav have abandonment issues just in two different fonts

Hobies gender envy sums up to Demonic shit and beings

Pav (by other people) has been described to be as loyal as a dog which can bite him in the ass based on the people hes friends with

heres a Gwen x Miles HC for your troubles, Gwen did the kiss thing except She stuck Miles to the ceiling and took off his mask to kiss him

Sun spider started teasing Pav about his and Hobies relationship kinda being like romeo and juilette after Hobie quit, just for shits and giggles (Pav didnt mind at all)

Charlotte calls Hobie hobo or faggot and Hobie calls her Slag or Dyke (They are NMLNM and NWLNW solidarity)

so a common interaction between the two would go like "sup fag" "hey dyke" then the two laugh about it

Hobie and Gwen have set a building on fire together like besties do

Miles asked Hobie if he liked Gwen and Hobie laughed and just said "Im gay bruv"

Gwen and Hobie (at first) COULD NOT handle eating in Pavs universe

Pavitr (when kissing) bites for some fucking reason he doesnt even understand the reason he has the impulse to bite his romantic partners

Sometimes Hobie just screams for no reason other than "fuck you miguel"

Hobie thinks we should get rid of the pride parades and just have riots (he has a bit of a point)

sometimes hobie will just carry people like they're wet cats (its mainly charlotte)

Charlotte and Pavitr had a Greece moment in which was of course ruined by Miguel

Basically SunSpider wanted all the deets about Pavitr and Hobie

Hobie calls Pavitr Pavi and Pavitr calls Hobie Hobs (sometimes)

[blood-injections]

You know what. Rundown of my killjoy ocs becuase I don’t i ocpost enough

Ignition Wizard-

He/it, transmasc, my self insert. Zoneborn but never really had a crew, host of the radio station Lucky 107.7 , which he broadcasts from the bus he lives out of, always on the move, in zone two one day and six the next. Just a funky dude. Will give you free tattoos if you ask.

Cal-e Condor

Agender they/it amab. Ummm gay weirdo, wacky name, you just say it like Cali as in California Condor. Cowboy. Has twin bedazzled blasters and carrys daggers. Wears a crazy tasseled leather jacket with a thunderbird painted across the back. Lots of piercings and tattoos, currently has braids down to their fucking knees. Hottest mf in the zones honestly. Lone wolf, no crew but lots of friends, really outgoing and bold/flamboyant but simultaneously quiet and mysterious? Absolutely fucks on the dance floor. Engineer.

Virtuoso Viper

Comes off as an asshole but is actually cool. He/xe dirtbag transmasc. Lowkey Condor’s homoerotic rival. Cocky bastard of a motorbike racer. He has a crush on Kobra Kid and it’s kind of pathetic. Can fly a plane, at least he claims he can. There’s no planes in the zones. He wants to build one. Sings and plays guitar in a little folk punk band with his best friend. He can often be spotted hanging out at the tip of that one old radio tower by the Nest(it’s the tallest one in the zones), he loves to climb but really needs to stop before he falls and breaks something. Also he has orange hair but a key lime green blaster it’s so fucking ugly. He has zero style. At least he’s confident.

Mold Moth

He/she amab but not cis. Nobody is cis. Um. Biggest faggot in the zones. He idiolized Mad Gear so hard he became a younger, nastier version of him. Like Mad Gears a crazy guy but Mold is fucking batshit, like something is actually seriously wrong with him but whatever, he’s cool. He’s fueled by anger issues and gay sex and dreams of being the main character in 80s horror films because he thinks it’d be fun. He named his band Mold Moth and the Rot in Your Hole and his music kind of sucks but in a sexy way. He wants to eat button batteries so bad, like by the handful like mnms. Fucking Freak(affectionate)

Miss Lithium

Dommy mommy. Who said that. Genderless giant. She/they/he/it/fucking anything they don’t care. Over six feet tall. Badass, goth, etc. DJs sometimes, can build bombs. Smokes weed and fucks. Not in a crew, lives with Prince Computer and they’re technically dating but the relationship is open. Is secretly scared of death.

Prince Computer

No one actually calls him that, sure it’s his name but one day he saw the word smorzando written on some sheet music and was like that would be a cool name.. and now he’s stuck with it. He doomed himself, his girlfriend won’t call him anything but Smorz. (S’mores). It’s cute. He/it, Fun Ghoul coded, as in he’s a dog of a guy, fucking puppy ass mf, assigned bottom by literally everyone and they’re not wrong. Kind of a slut, flirts with everybody, is a medic. Writes fucking angsty poetry he’s absolutely pathetic I love him. The most little meow meow out of my ocs.

Saint Silica

Haven’t decided much about this oc yet but they’re doomed by the narrative basically. What I do know is they’re cool and people are scared of them because they’re like, literally ghostly in a way. they have a scary aura about them, but they’re actually really gentle and troubled, don’t like violence but hate bli so they fight anyway. I think they’ve just been touched by the Witch. But they’re lonely and scared of losing their purpose. Basically they’re just a really fucking cool name that I’m still trying to come up with a crazy story for that lives up to it

[moonflowerdamie]

a tiny break from the stranger things content to bring you this announcement:

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I LOVE FIRST KILL SO MUCH SO SO FUCKING MUCH OMFG.

CALLIOPE BURNS? HOT ASS MF. JULIETTE FAIRMONT? BABY GIRL. THEM TOGETHER? BEST COUPLE BEST SHIP BEST GIRLS.

sure, the cgi is crap but that’s netflix’s fault, not the show’s. and it’s a little cringe and the dialogue is weird sometimes but i fucking love it. i love it. it’s camp and it’s gay and teen-y and angsty and horny and brilliant and AMAZING.

anyways, go watch first kill rn! it’s so worth it.

[sweetmotherof]

Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️ (pt 2)

PART 1

I already thought of more, and I didn’t want my first part to be super long, so here is a part 2!! I’ll probably make another couple of parts because I know I missed some. So again, please comment if you have any recommendations for me to add, it’s highly appreciated. Also, just some housekeeping, please mind the tags and go give the authors some love and support!! I hope you guys enjoy!! (My summaries are super bad for this one so just look at the summaries for the work or ask ahah id be happy to elaborate)

*contains nsfw fics, so please read the tags*

⭑=my faves

TSUKKIYAMA

~quick deanpendragon spam (they are the mastermind of tsukkiyama fics read all of their stuff pls)~

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon

M, 74.4k words

This is the classiccccc slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn through high school fic. With an amazing plot, beautiful writing, and stunning characterization, if you like Tsukkiyama at all, you should literally just read it. It’s just....perfect.

the certain things we lack by deanpendragon⭑

M, 89.6k words

AHHHHHHHH STOP DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS. no no no it’s so good like should be published good. It’s Kei-centric, and him and Yamaguchi are so <333 ugh i can’t stop. High school au, canon compliant, getting together yeah yeah yeah but the writing is.....i’m speechless it’s so good. Something about it connected with my soul and the writing, i can’t stop the writing is so good. If you like to read, like you just appreciate the art of literature, read this read this read this. 

blue summer sky by deanpendragon⭑

T, 32k words

Deanpendragon, take all of my money. You deserve it after this one because, oh, oh MY GOD it’s so good. Yamaguchi working in a pet store. Tsukishima working in a music store. Right next to each other. STOP READ IT NOW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. It’s Yamaguchi’s POV and his like stream of thoughts is SO relatable oh my god. It’s too good. This is hands down one of my fave fics so,,,,, u should read it. Also, it’s a series so, thank you for that one.

~~~~

Stoplights by 5yenwish(iamacamera)

E, 48.6k words

Something about Tsukkiyama authors, I would literally ask the president to get you ppl published because JESUS we do not deserve these works for free. I mean, this is just Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Karasuno being VULGAR and hilarious, and it’s like,,,,you have to have a certain type of humor to enjoy this. If you don’t like sex jokes AVOID this fic, but I loved this SO MUCH. The writing, ughhhhhh the writing is horrifyingly good. I kinda just really want to pay this author money because you made my life smmm better. On Hiatus tho,, probs forever so <//3 STILL READ IT

MATSUHANA

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia⭑

E, 91.5k words, cw: EMOTIONAL ABUSE, mental health issues that come with that

SAD BOY HOURS ughhh. This fic is so angsty and hurt so bad to read,,,,,,but so,,,,goood. Of course it’s depressing, it’s Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi watching Matsukawa be in an emotionally abusive relationship, all the while Hanamaki is in love with him,,,, eyeroll it’s very hard to watch. But, the writing is amazing, the plot is painful but good, so if you’re considering, you definitely should read.

rated m for by orphan_account

T, 10.6k words

Voice acting au. The most beautiful voice acting au ever. I love Matsukawa and I love Hanamaki, and you should definitely read this because it’s so funny. The writing is so good, the plot is so funny, and I love to laugh my ass off and this fic is funny lol. They act in a BL even though they hate each other. PLS READ IT AHAHHAH.

plus one by orphan_account

G, 6.1k words

This is the cutest lil getting together fic that so adorably fluffy it hurts. If you want to come down from, oh let’s say boiled frogs ahahhaha plug (look above lol), this fic will literally rot your insides with how cute it is. It’s quick, easy, and a fun time at a wedding, so if you just want some matsuhana for bedtime or something like that (?? what am i saying lol) then I definitely recomeend this one.

DAISUGA

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows⭑

E, 541.5k words, cw: anxiety, breakdowns (not that bad, but some parts made me feel a bit on edge so I thought I’d let u all know)

The longest fic I’ve read, and worth every second. I BINGED this mf, like in a couple of days lol and it’s so good. Artist Suga, bartender Daichi, gay panic and basically all of the other main haikyuu characters lol,,,,, read it if that sounds interesting. I think this is probably the staple Haikyuu longfic, so you should definitely check it out at one point or another. Also, it’s SO funny and the writing is rlly good. Oh, and it’s a SLOW BURNNN.

bell, book, and candle by skittidyne

M, 762.9k words, cw: blood, swearing, violence, minor body horror, death, anxiety/anxiety attacks/panic attack (part of the author’s warning)

I’ve seen so many people recommend this one, so I thought I’d include it in this recommendation, even though it’s focused around a lot of the ships, not just daisuga. It’s a supernatural hunter fic, and even just the summary is super captivating and interesting. If you like fantasy, mythology, or anything of the demons and magic sort, you should definitely check this one out. There is also some ~~magical~~ romance.

Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor

M, 18k words, cw: homophobia, mental strain that comes with homelessness

For the sake of your guys’ brains, I included this shorter fic that you could definitely complete in a short amount of time. Basically, this is about coffee barista Daichi, and how he meets Suga, who is secretly homeless. And romance blooms, of course. I definitely recommend this one if you want a short, kind of angsty, but happy ending read.

KYOUHABA

Police Dog by surveycorpsjean⭑

E, 34.9k words

This fic is so so sooo good. I usually stray away from like shifter, werewolf type fics, but this one handles the trope so so so well. I love the kyouhaba dynamic and this fic exemplifies it without making it too cliche. The premise of the fic is Kyoutani is a dog shifter and Yahaba is a police officer. I really had a great time reading this and I definitely think that you should check it out ahhah.

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

T, 61.1k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA LIKE BAD (not violent but very internalized and prevalent) 

Yahaba and his self-acceptance journey,,,,ughhhh im crying. This fic is vvvery emotional and filled with angsty self-hatred that makes me :(((. but BUT its worth it because watching him grow :’) and find love in Kyoutani. it’s very warm and happy at the end. If you want a CLASSIC coming of age set in high school and very gay so <33 pls check it out. The plot and writing are really well done and it is a work of art srsly.

[literallyjustjack]

[Fat fucking post warning]

OC intros!!!

I done realized that I've been tossing their names into the void and yall don't even know who they are

This won't be lore so much as a general rundown of the character and a design to tape to their name

First up: Matt

Eboy lookin ass in the hoodie. Angsty little bastard and also has adhd. Brimming with mental health jokes and sarcasm. Bisexual and has terrible posture to show for it. Artist. Most likely to have a tumblr. I'd follow him.

He's a sales clerk at a magic supply store and has about negative three shits to give. Will fistfight you. Bad at spelling.

Makes gay jokes because he is a gay joke.

Next up: Alex

One fruity mf. Also an eboy (take a fat guess which one he is) gay, trans, ace, and asexy as fuck. He won't let you forget it. Likes to cook. Also a witch

Matt's manager, friend, and adoptive extrovert. Makes stupid tiktoks. Going to superhell.

Next is: Tessa

Green hair. Gaslight gatekeep girboss. The one screaming is her girlfriend (we'll get to her in a bit)

Also works at the previously mentioned magic supply shop. Likes to sing. Listens to girl in red. Also very sarcastic. Will not hesitate to roast you.

Next: Teresa

Tessa's gf. 5'4'' but l o u d. Don't mess with her or her gf. Oozes lesbianism. Enjoys dancing.

Eliott's up next

Behind the couch.

6'2'' and build like a Ticonderoga pencil. Not very threatening. Likes woodworking. Pan as fuck. Is going to scream. Friend. Well versed in dad jokes. Dad friend but also immensely immature.

Aaaaand finally: aspen

Thiiiiin. Pink hair. Selective mute and autistic. Theatre gay. Likes plushies. Roommates with Elliott. They're gonna drown the two of them in plushies one day. Soft.

Many thoughts, head full. Aroace and enby, they really woke up and said no. Eats plain spaghetti.

Important!!!

The picture I used is traced, here's the original one. I do not take credit for this artwork.

I do my own art but this was more meme than art tbh

[culkinkieran]

I'm gonna jump in here super quick and hope I'm the first person to ask for Lalo!! :D

Thank you @krokorobin !!!

Lalo

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! Maybe bi too but I only see him with a woman who would be just as crazy and dangerous as him. That would explain why there is no one at his home, she's working 24/7 at Salamanca headquarters or smth haha

Gender Headcanon: as much as I want to hc every character non-binary, I would say he's a cismaaaan???.... on thin ice??? Although trans Lalo sounds rad as hell!

A ship I have with said character: Lacho #1, obvs, but I really really enjoy Lalo/Gus. They have the opposite energies and can annoy each other to death which is a perfect ship dynamic. Lalo/Jimmy is pretty sexy but I wouldn't read anything angsty with this ship. I also want to say Lalo/Howard but I'm having a hard time picturing how these two would meet shsgsh

A BROTP I have with said character: Lalo and the cousins!!! Would die to see their interactions on the screen omgggg!!!!!

A NOTP I have with said character: Lalo/Kim?.. don't see it really? 🤔

A random headcanon: I know he was lying about his sleep schedule, I just know it. Two-three hours my ass. Mf was just trying to impress Nacho (??? how old are you, 12??), and get some attention from him.

General Opinion over said character: When I saw Lalo first, I was like "how many of these Salamancas do you have wtf", and was generally dissapointed that it wasn't a woman! We have enough men in the show! But then he charmed me really fast, and now I can't wait to see what's gonna happen to him next. He's a lot of fun, his scenes are always very dynamic and interesting, and he's VERY scary. I love him.

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn