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leiazsolo · 5 months

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Regarding Tommy (AKA Stop hating him for the “Begins” episodes)

So I’ve been seeing a TON of hate for Tommy specifically because of his behaviour in the ‘Begins’ episodes and how he “shouldn’t be forgiven” so I’m getting fed up and decided to to a TIMELINE of Tommy & why we don’t need to be spoon fed his ‘redemption’ because we saw it across 10-ish years of flashbacks in the Begins episodes and can learn to understand that some stuff can just be implied with storytelling rather than treating the audience like babies and spelling it out for them. I will be starting with his first chronological appearance NOT his first on-screen appearance.

Starting Approx. 2005-2006 2x12 “Chimney Begins” now I’m not sure exactly what dates the episode here but google tells me it’s set around here, If I’m wrong let me know.

This was the big episode of Tommy being an asshole, I will not deny he was an asshole. He was one of the primary assholes of this episode along with the old captain. Let’s look at this episode with what we know about Tommy now, not what we knew then.

Tommy was a closeted gay man in a male-led, white-led field (presumably gay, we haven’t had his label yet) working under a captain we know is Homophobic, Sexist, and Racist. He also was a white man in a white male field back in 2005, prejudice was still a huge thing in 2005 (and still is but we’re not here to talk about that) and this episode shows this well, because it had to fit with the ‘times’. Tommy was an aggressor to begin with Im not going to deny this, but do you know who was also there, standing by and watching the rest of the 118 treat Chimney like shit for MONTHS? Eli! Yes lovey Eli who eventually helped get Chim into the field and let him stay with him in Boston. Yes he ended up being a good guy, but that doesn’t excuse the months he spent staying quiet watching the 118 mistreat Chim. You’ll see this theme pop up again later, funnily enough. Eventually we see Tommy and Chim become civil, after Chimney saves his life. He goes on to befriend Chimney, telling him his favourite movie is Love Actually (that’s fruity) amongst other things.

Fast forward to somewhere between 2009-2010 2x09 “Hen Begins” aka the next time we see Tommy chronologically and the first time we meet him in the show. We know a rough timeline as Sal says his girlfriend took him to see the new Twilight movie, and they reference the Edward vs Jacob, which means it’s most likely New Moon or Eclipse as that was more heavily a marketing thing for those two than the first one. This is also the first time Tommy is implied to be gay (He doesn’t deny the accusation and instead jokes about kissing Sal/Chimney) Now at this point in time I know this probably was not planned, but is something to look back at.

Tommy is this episode steps back from being an aggressor, he is still working under Gerrard and still closeted. He is still a part of the problem, but other than being present in the episode and in the scenes where Sal and Gerrard acted as aggressors, he didn’t actually contribute verbally to the mistreatment of Hen. The primary aggressor for Hen was Gerrard and remained to be Gerrard throughout the episode even when her co-workers saw her doing good things. And going back to Eli in Chimneys episode, guess who was also a bystander to Hens mistreatment, filling a similar role to Hen that Eli filled? CHIMNEY. He stood back for also presumably months, didn’t defend Hen against their co-workers, and just let what happened to him happen to her. Then, at the end of the episode it’s revealed multiple members of her team submitted complaints against their captain for the mistreatment of Hen, I’m willing to bet that he was one of those people, him, Chim, and even potentially Sal as he was less of an ass by the end. By the end of her episode we know they are now friendly at work and he thinks she’s a good firefighter.

Skip forward to 2014-ish, 2x16 “Bobby Begins Again.” We immediately see the team meshing, Chim, Hen, Tommy, and even Sal. 9 Years have passed since he met Chimney, and 4-ish since Hen and it’s implied they’re a friendly unit, Tommy is still closeted, and has been working under a rotating number of captains (six to be exact), but has clearly become a better, and more accepting person, the world is changing and he isn’t being held back with the times. He goes out for drinks with Hen & Chimney, laughs with them, has an overall good time being their friend and seeming enjoying working under Bobby for another 4 years, we even see them smash his face into a cake at a surprise leaving party they’ve thrown him. We know Buck took his place at the 118 which was not long before S1 began, so we’re assuming he left the 118 2017/2018.

This is the last time we see Tommy until 7x03, presumably set in 2023/2024 “Capsized”, a whole canonical 16-18 years after we first meet him, and 6 years since he left the 118. In those 6 years we know he:

A) is still friendly with Chimney, we know from 2x14 when he phones him to drop the fire retardant on the house. He is also mentioned to still be in contact in 3x16

B) Has come out/discovered his sexuality.

C) Is obviously not bigoted, or at least as much as he was back in 2005-ish.

In terms of Hen we can assume they haven’t really stayed “friends” since Tommy left, as she states in Capsized that she forgot he worked there. She worked with him for 8-ish years, I’ve worked with people for that length of time and don’t talk to them now, doesn’t mean I hate them, we just don’t really have reason to talk anymore. I just think their friendship was more a “we’re work friends” kind of relationship rather than a “we’re in each other’s lives” one, which is a completely normal and valid relationship. Whereas with Chim we know they’ve remained at least acquaintances to chat, and friends enough that Tommy would risk both his life and job to save Bobby.

At this point in the timeline it’s been approximately CANONICALLY 16-18 years since we met Tommy, and the fandom is still asking for his character to be held accountable for things he said all those years ago, when clearly in the canon of the show has been forgiven. At this point in the show I really don’t think we need to be spoonfed this narrative, it would feel clunky and weird to see an apology on screen for something that’s clearly been addressed off screen. It would frankly be a waste of the limited airtime we have this season.

I also think it’s super important to remember that Tommy wasn’t planned that far in advance, we know he was bought back by Minear because he wanted the person who was part of Bucks coming out to be someone the audience had already met before & Lou was both available and willing to do it. If they had been planning this exact storyline since season 2, maybe Tommy would have been portrayed differently, who knows.

I get we love Buddie and we want Buddie so much, I am not and never will jump ship from Buddie, I love that Tommy is Bucks first boyfriend, I just hope Eddie gets to be his last.

I’m also super glad we’re getting Bucks coming out separately from Eddies potential future coming out, I am on the (seemingly) small majority that thinks that would have been way too much to happen all at once, and also the characters deserve to have their own coming out stories not to be lumped together.

so yeah. TLDR; Tommy has evolved over 16-18 years, 10 years of which we saw across the Begins episodes, and if we want to be spoonfed his accountability for his behaviour in the begins episode, we should also be asking the same from Eli and Chim.

#Tommy Kinard #911 abc #911 season 7 #bucktommy #evan buckley #911 #9-1-1 #9 1 1 abc #buck x tommy #listen i’m just fed up bc this happens with everyone Buck or Eddie dates #if you wanna dislike bucktommy go for it i’m not saying you have to like them #or even like tommy #i’m just saying you need to just be honest about your reasons for disliking him #and you don’t have to forgive him that’s fine you do you #but you can’t act like the characters haven’t

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mortimermcmirestinks · 6 months

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a complete list

so we got the following already:

AFAB = assigned female at birth

AMAB = samesies but for the bros

ACAB = fuck them pigs

AHAB = guy who wants to fuck and/or kill a sperm whale

so I'm gonna give you the other 22. ready? let's go

AAAB: the muuuscle in your miiidseeection

ABAB: 🔥🔥swedish band typo🔥🔥

ACAB: fuck them pigs

ADAB: world's most rad dance move

AEAB: assigned evil at birth

AFAB: doctor said you were a dame right when you slunk out the pusspuss

AGAB: what the doctor said you was when you slopped on outta the verjubit

AHAB: from hell's heart I tap that cetacean or whatever I never read it

AIAB: all investigators are bisexual

AJAB: a friendly poke

AKAB: all kops are bastardz

ALAB: like asexual but for science experiments instead of sexual attraction. short for "alaboratory"

AMAB: doctor said you were a bloke the second you shot out of the ol' utero cannon

ANAB: someone very sneakily trying to name their D&D character after a banana. don't let them get away with it

AOAB: desperately trying to remember the official Maori name for New Zealand but I'm so so bad at spelling

APAB: assigned pussy magnet at birth

AQAB: the guy from the new GAY version of Moby Dick. this version's called Moby Pronouns. the woke agenda has gone too far!!!!!

ARAB: an ethnic group mainly inhabiting the ARAB world in West Asia and North Africa. A significant ARAB diaspora is present in various parts of the world. Arabs have been in the Fertile Crescent for thousands of years. In the 9th century BCE, the As

ASAB: ahh!! stinkyyy!!! aww, baby

ATAB: the thing you start at a bar when you don't want to pay up right away. ALTERNATE JOKE: the thing you hit to go to the next cell in Excel

AUAB: sound a turtle makes when it's ramming ham

AVAB: only known word to be a perfect anagram of both "balaclava" AND "baklava"

AWAB: assigned weeb at boston

AXAB: amnestic XK-class anomalous being

AYAB: alla youse are bullshit

AZAB: mystery option. nobody knows what this one is. if you know what this one is, send your knowledge to the Pentagon and they will send you a shiny American penny.

glad to help out!! just playing my small role in the queer community. fuck cops also

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very-feral-lesbian · 2 years

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it happens in march of 1997.

eddie and steve walking down the road in boston, eddie's arm carrying a small bag of groceries and steve carrying a large bag of cat food to bring home to sabbath and babylon. they were bundled up in coats, still not used to the harsh winters in boston.

their grocery store was only a few blocks from their house, good for times like these when they came home from work to their cats empty bowls and an equally empty pantry, not ideal for the get-together they were hosting tomorrow night.

boston had been kind to them, living merely blocks from robin and nancy, and the kids were able to come and visit frequently. they got away from the upside down and all of its accompanying instability.

it also had the benefit of being gay-friendly. they had formed a close-knit group of several other neighborhood queers alongside nance and robin. and while they personally weren't super big fans of pda, it did allow them to walk down the streets holding hands, as they were now.

so it was usual thursday, until it wasn't.

"no way, steve harrington in the flesh?"

tommy fucking hagan here, in boston. god hawkins just does not let up.

steve becomes increasingly aware of eddie hand in his. it feels like it weigh 100 pounds. eddie must pick up on this as steve feels eddie drop his hand, going to tuck into his jacket pocket.

tommy looks older, he aged just like his dad. he doesn't look bad, he just aged. it's like steve is in a time warp, his brain truly comprehending for the first time that it's been twelve years since he graduated high school and ditched behind king harrington. since he was the steve that tommy knew.

"wow tommy, i uh- never would have, i mean what are you doing in boston? last i heard you were down in dallas "

tommy smiled, "yeah im here on vacation for a couple days with my," there's a pause "... with my partner."

he and eddie glanced over at each other, picking up on that word but no, he couldn't be.

"what a small world. i mean we- i," pause, grabbing eddie's hand, part of him hoping tommy doesn't notice and the other part begging him to, "we live just down the street. had to pick up some food for the girls," gesturing down to the cat food in his left hand.

tommy smiled wide, "it's so cool how walkable boston is. it's been so nice for the last few days, not sure michael could handle this weather year 'round though."

michael? not michelle or michaela? michael.... michael.

he felt eddie's hand squeeze his, clearly aware of steve's train of thought at the moment.

after 11 years together, eddie practically has a window into steve's brain which is why he speaks up for the first time, "yeah we love boston, despite the cold. if you and michael aren't busy, we are having a few friends over tomorrow night if you two want to join? i'm sure i'd be nice for steve and you to catch up."

steve was thankful for his boyfriend in this moment, "yeah that would be great tommy, it'd be nice to meet michael."

tommy smiled, "yeah we'd love to."

eddie rattled off their address and the time, tommy bidding his goodbyes, leaving steve and eddie walking back the short distance to their apartment.

steve still hadn't said much, eyes looking forward.

"you okay, babe?"

steve looked over at eddie, "is every fucking person from hawkins gay?"

eddie laughed at him, "valid point. although to be fair, as much as i love him, hopper is just about the straightest man i've ever seen."

there is now a part two here

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

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A Pause for Reflection: Part 2- Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians

Hello! It is me, your friendly neighborhood wen-kexing-apologist. Before Only Friends aired, knowing how sex heavy this show was setting up to be, I decided it might be kinda funny if instead of posting my initial reactions to the episodes, which I knew were going to be something akin to an incomprehensible key smash, if I instead committed to a bit where I wrote very dry, academic essays on sex and sex imperatives in Only Friends.

Well, I wrote an essay on Boston, his cruising habits, and my speculations around him being an embodiment of older queer culture expecting like…three people maybe to make it through legitimately 13 written pages with block text citations. But it did surprisingly well, and so now I have decided to full send.

In my first Taking Pause post, I wrote about respectable promiscuity and the way I felt that concept impacted perceptions of queer people and queer culture, especially as it relates to engagement with Only Friends. This time, I want to dampen the mood a bit further, and discuss racism and its impact on perceptions of queer Asian characters in the BL industry. This was spurred by Only Friends and especially inspired by the posts I have seen going around that project false purity on flawed characters, but will cover Asian BL engagement more broadly as well.

Disclaimer: I am a white Westerner, addressing this post primarily to white Westerners, and using Western sources.

The Commodification of Queer Asian Men

Racism is a complex subject, and while people of color are not absolved of white supremacy mindsets through colorism, this invitation for conversation is mostly geared towards my fellow white Westerners. Racism is persistent, pervasive, and insidious in part because we do not always know when and how our own personal biases and learned racism impacts how we interact with the world, or in this case media.

With the increasing mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians, and the increasing visibility of LGBT folks more generally, gay space and straight space, gay sociality and straight sociality, are increasingly blended (Dean, 2014). The commodification of gayness is only one example of this. (Ahlm, 2017)

We are frequently spoiled by BL because of how much exposure to queer people in stories we are allowed to see. These stories are not primarily or inherently made for queer people, but what this massive index of gay shows gives the general public is large amounts of exposure to the concept of gay people (about queers), and growing popularity allows for a rapid commodification of queer Asian experience.

I want to take a second to show the definitions of commodification, so anyone reading this is aware of what lenses I am working from.

Commodification: to turn (something, such as an intrinsic value or a work of art) into a commodity (Miriam-Webster)

Commodity:

an economic good: such as…c. a mass-produced unspecialized product

a. something useful or valued; b. convenience, advantage

a good or service whose wide availability typically leads to smaller profit margins and diminishes the importance of factors (such as brand name) other than price

one that is subject to ready exchange or exploitation within a market (Miriam-Webster)

Personally, I think it is reasonable to argue that BL and BL branded pairs are exploited by and are an exploitation of the market. We have seen the number of in-universe ads in our standard Thai BLs, the number of BLs being created every year is increasing with the understanding that these shows can be profitable, sell products, sell concert tickets, sell out theaters, make money on fan events, etc.. I think many of us have begun to love when Oishi Green Tea, Nivea Micellar Water, or Canon printers show up in our BLs, but it cannot be denied or ignored that those are commercials for products being sold to us through the images of queer characters and within queer stories. Meaning, the queer stories we are able to interact with en masse are there to sell us a product as well as a story.

How does this relate to racism? By making queer characters of color sell products within the stories they exist in, we establish a relationship to queer characters of color that extends the commodification of queer men of color themselves beyond what already exists by nature of racism and white supremacy within queer spaces:

It’s almost as if no gay men of color exist outside of fantasy cruises to Jamaica, Puerto Rico, or the ‘Orient’. And even then, they exist only to fulfill the sexual fantasies of gay white men. ‘Exotic’ vacations to far away places are marketed to rich white men and [low income] colored bodies are only another consumable product easily purchased with western dollars. As such, gay men of color, whether found within western borders or conveniently waiting for white arrival in the far off corners of the globe, are nothing more than commodities for consumption. (Chong-suk Han, 2007)

How many shows have we gotten out of GMMTV in recent years that are absent, or near-absent of in-universe ads? Three? The Eclipse, The Warp Effect, and Only Friends? What themes are at the center of these shows that may make them distasteful to corporations trying to sell their products?

Now, I entered the BL scene after The Eclipse aired, so I don’t know what its reception was like at the time. But I am pretty certain it was a popular show. Yet, I have personally witnessed the adverse and negative reactions to, especially Ayan, when Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse aired and we saw Ayan keeping a secret that was hurting Akk’s feelings. I saw the sheer amount of posts coming out of tumblr about how Akk and Ayan were characterized so wrong in this show. And, I am trying to be polite here, but there were just grossly misrepresentative takes on tumblr about the characters we got on screen in OS2, who were extremely in character based on the source material, and not the idea of the characters we have built up in our heads as the lines between Ayan and Khaotung or Akk and First blurred over time.

The Warp Effect is a show I have constantly been asking people to watch as Only Friends approached and continue to market as required viewing while we are still in the early stages of Only Friends, but it was not widely watched as far as I could tell from the activity on my own tumblr feed and from the number of people I saw reblogging my Case for Watching TWE post who said they had yet to see it. And I get it, it was marketed more as a heterosexual show rather than a BL, but I will go down swinging to defend my position on that show as The Queerest Show of 2023 (so far).

I think about all the ways people on tumblr have re-written certain characters in their minds to be purer, less morally dubious, more babygirl in order for them to justify loving and supporting a character that is either objectively a terrible person or who has made any number of mistakes that have gotten themselves or others hurt. Listen, my most beloved gay boys are Wen Kexing and Akk but I will be the first to tell you both those men are war criminals. That is not a joke. I love Akk to death as a character, and he let a car roll into a crowd of protestors.

Which is to say, that I am personally made to feel very uncomfortable when I see people twisting the realities of who queer Asian characters are in order to create a false, more pure and innocent version of who they want queer Asian characters to be. Why? Because it treats queer Asian male characters like dolls, like objects to manipulate and control, rather than as the people they are written and intended to be, and the fanservice that is expected of the actors that portray them is not much different:

At the same time that they are invisible, gay Asian men are also seen as being exotic, submissive fantasies for white men. However, being seen as exotic and submissive is yet another form of subtle racism where gay Asian men are not seen as individuals but as a consumable product for white male fantasy (Ayres, 1999). (Chong-suk Han, 2007)

And yeah, I know some of you may try to deflect this by saying or thinking “wka this quote is about white men and thus does not apply to me” it does. It does apply.

On the Subject of Fan Service

These production companies make a lot of money off of selling the fanbase the idea that these actors are romantically involved outside of their acting careers. GMMTV and Idolfactory are perhaps the most committed studios to fanservice that I have seen, often to the detriment of the health and safety of their talent and potentially their own financial interests. He’s Coming to Me was delayed, and had it’s distribution fucked with because fans protested Singto being separated from Krist and paired up with Ohm for one show. Freen was recorded and blackmailed with a video that showed she was in a romantic relationship with Seng. Articles were published making it seem like it was a truly wild concept that Man Trisanu and Ben Bunyapol were acting to create the chemistry they get on screen. These companies know they can make money off of the fictions they create, both the ones we see as television shows, and the ones we see in fan meet ups. These people are actors, some may date, some may not, some may be really good friends, some may hate each other’s guts, but the fact of the matter is we will never know for sure. Everything we see on camera is a performance.

How Objectification of Queer Asian Men Relates to Only Friends

I mean…

I don’t know about you all, but I have seen post after post of people projecting images of purity and perfection on to Mew, twisting themselves forward and backward to justify a character’s objectively terrible decisions, or finding scapegoats to blame for their blorbo’s actions. I have seen people truly, legitimately struggle with seeing their favorite acting pair engaging in intimate scenes with different scene partners. And, to me it reads like some audience members are physically unable to separate the actor from their character, or to accurately identify reality from fiction. These are actors, they are playing characters, we know how good of actors they are. We are all aware of how much of a chameleon First is with his roles, how powerful Khao is at portraying grief on screen, how expressive Book is, etc.

Force and Book are not fucking, Book is not stringing Force along, Force is not fucking Neo and potentially breaking Book’s heart. Top and Mew are fucking (or will). Mew is stringing Top along. Top is fucking Boston and potentially breaking Mew’s heart. Khaotung is not ditching First to go rescue Book, First is not trying and failing to maintain boundaries with Khaotung. Ray is ditching Sand to go rescue Mew, Sand is trying and failing to maintain boundaries with Ray.

Harkening back to fanservice. Personally, I believe that only ever marketing “love pairs” (aka Force and Book’s characters as a romantic couple or First and Khao’s characters as a romantic couple on screen) severely severely limits the acting potential for any and all of the performers involved in those couplings. Can you imagine what Only Friends would be like with Neo and Louis, rather than Neo and Mark? Louis is great, but I’m not sure that he could do pining simp, or angry revenge the same way Mark can. You can see how good of a match up Fluke Pusit was with Thor in The Warp Effect and you can see how good Fluke Pusit was with Ohm Thipakorn in A Boss and a Babe.

As I mentioned in Part One, Jojo has said there is going to be sex in every episode. We know these boys have already hurt each other and will continue to hurt each other. We know these boys have already slept around and will continue to do so. There is no need to vilify a character for being a flawed human being. There is absolutely no need to vilify an actor for portraying a character who is a flawed human being. We don’t need to uplift the characters that are withholding their sexuality from others as inherently good, moral, victims of the inherently bad, immoral, predators ruining their lives with their high sex drives.

…popular culture is permeated with ideas that erotic variety is dangerous, unhealthy, depraved, and a menace to everything from small children to national security. Popular sexual ideology is a noxious stew made up of ideas of sexual sin, concepts of psychological inferiority… and xenophobia. The mass media nourish these attitudes with relentless propaganda…

All these hierarchies of sexual value- religious, psychiatric, and popular- function in much the same way as do ideological systems of racism, ethnocentrism, and religious chauvinism. They rationalize the well-being of the sexually privileged and the adversity of the sexual rabble…this kind of sexual morality has more in common with ideologies of racism than with true ethics. (Rubin, 1984)

I am begging people who are having difficulty seeing their favorite actor be shitty on screen to take a pause, take a breath, remember that they are actors, playing a fictional character in a fictional role. Fictional characters performing fictional actions has not, does not, and will not ever be a true and definitive indicator of that actor’s own personality, morals, or beliefs. Boston being an asshole does not mean Neo is an asshole. Ray being an asshole does not mean that Khao is an asshole just as Gaipa being kind does not mean that Khao is kind. Jojo and co are not monsters for creating a manipulative character(s), or including physical fist fights, drug use, promiscuity, cheating, sexual assault, abortion, kink, fatshaming etc. etc in to their works. You are not a bad person for liking imperfect characters who engage in bad actions, and you don’t need to create scenarios that place blame for those actions on others in order to justify liking a character. Everyone on that set appeared to have a great time, and Jojo stated very clearly that all scenes were run by the actors in those scenes and anything the actors were not comfortable with being shown to a broader audience were immediately deleted. The actors were granted agency and autonomy that is not usually seen and we are seeing the performance they want to share with us, the performance they liked. That does not mean they themselves approve outside of fiction of the behaviors their characters may portray.

Conclusion

We all need to, but white Westerners especially, be extremely careful and introspective with the ways we are engaging with queer Asian media. We need to be careful and introspective with the ways we are engaging with queer Asian characters. Asian BLs, Thai BLs especially lean heavily in to the commodification of queer Asian stories and characters. GMMTV sells products, and uses their talent as the salespeople, which I personally believe makes their talent, and the characters in their stories far more susceptible to objectification than, say, Japanese BLs that do not distribute their work as easily, or cater as readily to international audiences.

As @bengiyo said in his post, it is totally totally fine if you do not like something. Only Friends could not be your style, there could be themes that are triggering for you, etc. that’s fine. But if you are refusing to engage with this Only Friends because Force as Top acted like he was fucking Neo as Boston, or squirming about whether or not you can watch other shows these actors are in going forward because their performances as dumb, horny college students in Only Friends made you question the actor’s morality, then I truly, deeply, and fully beg you to pause, take a step back, and reflect upon what it is about witnessing these behaviors that is causing your reaction.

I want to end with the following quote:

Thus, white men can choose when they want to be objectified, but men of color are simply objects. As discussed above, existing only as props for white male consumption represents another subtle form of racism. As Tony Ayres notes: First, there is overt belligerence…The second response is the exact opposite of this racist antagonism. It is an attraction to me because of my Asianness, my otherness ... This has nothing to do with my individual qualities as a person ... It is the fact that I conveniently fit into someone else’s fantasy (1999, p. 89) (Chong-suk Han, 2007)

As a reminder that we as fans, need to take a step back and consider if, when, and how we are objectifying queer Asian men. We are seeing a huge period of growth in the Asian BL industry, which means we are very likely to get more shows where we are going to see more stories like Only Friends that center realistic depictions of gay Asians as written and directed by gay Asians. And we have to check our privilege, homophobia, and racism at the door.

Sources

Ahlm, Jody (2017) Respectable promiscuity: Digital cruising in an era of queer liberalism, Sexualities, DOI: 10.1177/1363460716665783

Chong-suk Han (2007) They Don't Want To Cruise Your Type: Gay

Men of Color and the Racial Politics of Exclusion, Social Identities, 13:1, 51-67, DOI:

10.1080/13504630601163379 Rubin, Gayle (1984) The Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality- Chapter 9: The Sex Wars.

(thank you to @bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @waitmyturtles for your beta readings!)

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #sandray #topmew #topboston #bostonnick #forcebook #firstkhao #neomark #wka long post #jojo tichakorn #the eclipse #the warp effect #the eclipse the series #twe #our skyy 2 #our skyy 2 x the eclipse

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lu-sn · 8 months

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i know it's 300 years late to be making this post but man. i am still SO angry about mew

the setup was perfect!!! you have mew, this probably-aspec character who hits all of the checkboxes for prim-privileged-gay and seems fully unaware of that privilege, and you have boston, fully unashamed of his sex drive and his many sexcapades while still partially closeted, and they hate each other, okay. they constantly sling barbs at each other right from the beginning, and they're not friendly about it. mew thinks boston is an uncontrollable slut and boston thinks mew is a horrendously stuck-up prude and they're constantly judging each other. at the beginning of the show, they're two fundamentally incompatible people.

and then top comes along, and he's this character who's willing to put up a facade for mew -- willing to play the part of the sweet, unproblematic boyfriend -- but under the hood, he's a lot more like boston than anyone wants to admit. he's a piece of shit to everyone but mew, and he's slept around, and he openly likes sex. he wants it. he's struggling a little without it.

it's perfect because boston is a character that mew is fundamentally at odds with, and top is a character similar to boston that mew does not want to be at odds with. it sets up this huge clash of principles for mew, who is going to either have to learn to accept some of top's behavior and realize that boston might deserve that acceptance too, or he's going to be unable to accept some parts of top in a way that will hurt their relationship.

... or so you would think.

instead, mew gets to have his cake and eat it too: top cheats on him (and frankly, the circumstances of this cheating are suspect; top was basically manipulated into it), and instead of digging into why top did this, why top might feel compelled to secretly have sex with someone behind mew's back, mew lets top grovel at his feet for months, then takes him back while "forgiving but not forgetting". there's no attempt on mew's part to understand top or the cheating, only to corral top back into the persona that mew thought he was in the first place. and top lets it happen. by the end of the show, all traces of the "problematic" man he was in the beginning have been mysteriously wiped away. his cocaine problem is gone, his debilitating fear of fire is gone, and he is perfectly content in this relationship with mew where they have relatively little sex, even though mew is constantly making eyes at all of the new men who show up (cough cough boeing COUGH COUGH MIX) and even though this supposed straying on mew's end and the ensuing jealousy from top was a big factor in why top cheated in the first place.

and because mew didn't need to understand anything deeper about top, there's no way in hell he gains any sympathy for boston; he kicks boston to the curb and is obnoxiously righteous about it.

i've seen some comments that mew is not a hollow and unrealistic character for acting like this; there are many, many people out there who act just as selfishly as mew. i can't stand those people, and i can't stand mew, and in a sense that does make him a compelling character. so putting aside the fact that i would have much preferred to see him struggle with the crumbling of either his principles or his relationship... the arcs of the characters around him are definitely hollow and unrealistic, as a direct consequence of his position in the overall narrative.

let's look at boston for a second. mew, who you famously think is a stuck-up bitch, ends up catching the unwavering attention of top, who you want to get fucked by; you slowly manipulate top into cheating on mew with you, and you're gleeful about it. this is not a thing you'd do if you felt any sort of sympathy or friendship towards mew! you clearly disrespect the guy! you probably fucking hate him!

and then the guy you hate finds out what you did, and he threatens to out you and circulate revenge porn of you in retaliation, and he's the smuggest little shit about it while he promises to ruin your life and then ten seconds later flips masks and goes "but i wouldn't do it because i'm above that kind of behavior" -- and i would just like to poll all of you, and ask you: if a guy you disrespected so deeply came up to you and threatened to ruin your life while continuing to display all the traits you already hated him for, would you feel sad that he friendship-broke up with you and try to friendship-get him back? or would you, i don't know, hate him for all eternity?

once the cheating news breaks, the narrative tries to convince us, again and again, that boston feels bad and guilty about what he did to mew and that he doesn't hate mew and wants to be friends again. i'm sorry. i don't buy it. the boston we saw at the beginning of the show is not a guy who would grovel at mew's feet. so why does the narrative make him do it? why does the narrative kneecap his character like this?

it's for the same reason that all of top's problems disappear. it's because the narrative wants so badly to position mew as the good guy. mew did nothing wrong, they say, over and over again. look at how top and boston beg him for forgiveness. look at how terrible boston was for wronging mew but how right mew was for threatening boston back. look at how top erases all his own flaws just like mew said he could, and boston doesn't do the same, so top earns a spot in the friend group but boston loses his spot forever.

if the narrative had been brave enough to fracture mew's image a little, to acknowledge that he's a mean, messy hypocrite, i could have respected his place in the show as a whole. but they didn't. instead, they gave his character so much potential for growth and then squandered it all, and if that wasn't enough, they went ahead and neutered all of the characters around him, too.

#whew. i've exorcised the demon #i'm free :')#also i'm tilted that the mew-boston-top dynamic revolving around sex basically repeats itself with the mew-ray-top dynamic about drug abuse #and then the narrative borks that too #but this post is too long for that #only friends the series #only friends mew #only friends boston #only friends top

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dyemelikeasunset · 1 year

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would you be able to include flag country names for the dom&mor characters lineup? ty!

(i love how diverse all your art and characters are, i wish i could read thru all about your ocs and stories like browsing through a wiki in an autism way)

THANK YOU!! In fact I can do you one better and write little blurbs for everyone! Including our leading ladies too of course Under the readmore:

Mor's side

Morgan: Jamaican American Lesbian. Mor's parents came from Jamaica but she was born in the US, where she grew up with her mom in Boston before moving to NYC. Mor went to university for a BA in Graphic Design and met most of her friends there. She works from home these days. Mor doesn't really realize she's the resident Pretty Girl in her group of friends (she has bad self esteem)

Lexi: American Nonbinary Lesbian. Lex met Mor in high school when they both played on the softball team, and they both came out to each other. They've been able to stay friends all these years cause their tastes in girls are wildly different. Lexi belongs to a different group as the rest of Mor's friends since they didn't go to the same college, but they're Mor's very annoying ride-or-die

Panos: Greek Ethiopian and Bisexual. Panos met Mor through their shared degree and has been a mentor and big brother figure for her since. They help onboard her to a lot of projects, and the two of them rely on each other professionally. He never really stops talking about his wife and daughter-- it's the price everyone has to pay, since he's so reliable and understanding and helping everyone all the time

Ryan: (Sansei) Japanese American and Gay. Out of Mor's art friends, Ryan is the one who's most practical about his job. Instead, he puts his energy into being a menace in his dating life. He loves to gossip about his and Mor's very messy love lives and is convinced Morgan is just as much of a heartbreaker as he is behind her innocent facade. She has unfortunately told Ryan all her dirty laundry so he teases her relentlessly every chance he gets

Barjis: Malay Trans and Bisexual. Barjis came to the US with their boyfriend to pursue their degree and also start their transition. They have a surprisingly cute illustration style and work with Panos and Mor often. They love to talk animated movies with Morgan, and it's one of the few things that gets them to talk a lot. Very skittish and tired all the time, and has a bit of a fear of "normies"

Elsa: Norwegian Lesbian. Elsa is Mor's unwitting rival in love because they always crush on the same girls (Ryan loves to tease her about this). Elsa is currently losing (Mor: 7, Elsa: 2) but she's not bitter, just single and sad. She's currently working in web journalism even though she wants to publish her novel. Friendly and considerate, but awkward

Dom's side

Dominique: Korean/Chinese and Asexual. Dom was born in Beijing but grew up in Seoul with her mother. She started working as a model at 16 and moved to the US alone when she was 18. She's currently coming back into the modeling world after a 2 year hiatus. She's charming and good at socializing, but she doesn't really know how to make friends, which frustrates model coworkers who want to be closer to her

Farid: Afghan French and Gay. Farid became a model in his late father's footsteps, so he's often accused of being a nepo model. He's fussy and annoyed easily, but he can never refuse helping people. One of Dom's only real friends, he's a bit like a little brother to her and relies on her a lot. He has a bad habit of dating married men and acting like it doesn't matter to him (it matters. A lot.)

Maithili: Indian Canadian and Pansexual. Maithili is breezy and easy-going, but behind her dreamy facade is a very level-headed personality. She works with Dom often for body diversity shoots, but she'd really like to do more high fashion. Very flirtatious, calls Dom and Farid her "work boyfriends" all the time

Wynter: British Trans woman. Wynter started modeling a little later than her peers. She was scouted after a big transition point, so modeling has brought her a lot of euphoria. She's one of the more mature personalities in Dom's life, and looks after her and the other models a lot. She lives with her boyfriend and is hoping he'll propose soon

Evita: Argentine American and Bisexual. Evita started as a social media influencer and has been able to make her way to the runway as a petite model. Despite their nonchalant persona, they work very hard and are very passionate about their job. Her current romance hangup is how oblivious Dominique is, and she knows she needs to move on

Inessa: Russian (and no fruity business). Inessa met Dom backstage at a Fashion Week while having a breakdown that Dom helped her through, so she's been attached like an inprinted duckling ever since. The type of straight girl who is obsessed with pretty women in a platonic way, so she really wants to get to know more about Dom's cute new girlfriend

#dom and mor #long post /

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gerec · 8 months

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Hello, I just want to say thank you so much because you’re one of the main reason I’m back into the Cherik hole again after 8 years :Đ (I’m still having a lovely time here). Also, would you mind if I ask you for some fic recs of 1. Alternative first meeting where Erik and Charles meet/flirt with each other at the bar and 2. Smut fics that included dirty talk about breeding/pregnant kink but no actual mpreg. I know it’s a lot but I hope you could help :Đ Thank you so so much for still being here!

Hello darling Anon! Sorry for the delay; it took a while for me to search for recs based on your criteria! I've got some good ones for their first meeting at a bar, but I was only able to think of/find one fic with dirty talk that didn't include mpreg (the other one is rule 63). Anyway I'm so glad you're giving Cherik another go around it's wonderful to rediscover an old love :D :D :D Hope you enjoy!!!

First Meeting at a bar (there aren't many canon verse fics I know of, but there are many great aus):

In Plain Sight by Lenore

As it happens, Charles does know how it feels to hide who he is. A stranger in a pub sees right through him.

Bloodbound by ikeracity

Finding himself strapped for cash at the start of his senior year, Erik decides to become a donor at TypO, a blood bar where vampires come to drink fresh blood from consenting donors, safely and legally. There, he catches the eye of Charles Xavier, vampire, telepath, professor at Columbia, and quite possibly the most alluring person Erik's ever met. Their first meeting sets into motion a bond much deeper than they can understand, one that neither of them had ever expected.

Hitting If Off by niniblack

Erik meets the perfect guy at the bar. Too bad Mr. Perfect is on a date with someone else...

Twinks, Daddies & Bears. Oh my! by Villain

Charles is fresh back from Oxford and new to the gay scene in New York. On his first night out at the clubs with his best friend Hank, he sees the Big Bad Wolf; otherwise known as Erik Lehnsherr.

Punk Rock Boy by Not_You

Charles goes to a punk gig for an anthropology paper, and things get crazy.

A Telepath Walks Into a Bar by ximeria

Erik hates it when drunk idiots interrupt his flirting.

United We Stand, Divided They Fall by ximeria

The prompt was "the only two people at a bar rooting for the same football team au". And that's more or less what it is.

99 bottles of beer on the wall by orphan_account

It's been years since the accident that paralyzed Charles, leaving him wheelchair-bound and shattering his carefree life of drinking, sex, and loose telepathy. Raven finally guilt's Charles into going to a bar with her, only to have them run into a rather unsavory Mutant and Disability fetishist.

And One For Yourself? (Let Me Take You Home?) by meh_guh

Charles has had it with academia. He's sick of Boston, sick of teaching Bio 101, sick of Nathaniel Essex's guerrilla campaign against his lab time. So of course, the only thing to do is to move back to NYC and open a bar. It'll be a lark.

And Tony's there! Scads of guilt-free, friendly sex is never to be frowned upon.

Of course, the bewitching lunatic behind the bar complicates matters, but Charles is hardly new at seduction. He'll win Erik over in a matter of weeks.

A month at the outside.

Really.

Baby, You're A Hit by mutanitys (chekov)

"How to not make it up to the cute professor you mistakenly punched at a bar" by Erik Lehnsherr.

(Erik still punches the wrong guy, but this time the hospital doesn't seem to be an option.)

-------

Fics with dirty talk about breeding/pregnant kink:

serendipity by intentation

Charles runs into his professor at a sex club. How can he possibly resist?

Perfection by LadyLustful

Charlotte Xavier didn't think she would be into being bred but here she is, getting off on hearing how she's perfect and will give Erik perfect babies.

#gerec rambles #fic rec #cherik #gerec's fic rec #alternate first meeting #dirty talk

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tobyfoxfacts · 10 months

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SHOULD TOBY FOX BE PRESIDENT??

Heres the pros and cons

Pros

1. He made a game all about befriending your enemies.

He's a natural at building bridges so he may be able to repair any hard feelings between countries that the US cut off in the past.

2. He's a business man

Toby is self employed and has people who works under him. He started from the bottom. He worked on his first game in someone's basement. He earned his success.

3. He's great at money management and project planning

He made undertale pretty much on his own and organized any assistance he needed. He's great working on teams and had done many collaborations.

4. He likes the girls and the gays!!

Toby would let us all be trans and queer. He has 2 lesbian couples in his games, a non binary main protagonist, and is a total mommas boy. He wouldn't wanna take away her rights.

5. He doesn't hate drag queens

Toby has been seen wearing skirts and dresses as costumes or cosplays. He's worn makeup and dresses for costumes.... so he wouldn't hate someone for doing the same.

6. He supports the environment

Toby has a degree in environmental science. Why would he get a degree in that if he didn't believe in global warming? He would help repair the environment and make our country more echo friendly. As a science major he knows vaccines aren't fake and would be a great role model.

7. He slips under the discrimination radar

This is cynical, but based on Toby's appearance, he has advantages in the political world. "Straight looking," pale skinned, rich, Christian, cisgender man who went to a prestigious college. So, heck... he'd get a chance even if he genuinely sucked because politics are rigged. Even if he thought Hulu was part of Hawaii and they made a streaming service... he would still make it to the finals.

Don't let anyone find out he's a dress wearing autistic furry that makes songs about mpreg.

8. He has a great education

Toby went to a college that focuses on law and business. There's a chance that he took some classes on the side about those subjects.

9. He's a level headed guy and stays out of drama

Toby's never gotten caught up in drama and he's not a trouble starter. He'd never initiate a war.

10. G-n outlaws

We already know that Toby isn't enthusiastic about violence and believes in thinking before hurting. He would totally make more anti g-n proposals

11. He loves animals

He'd totally help prevent animal cruelty and k1ll shelters. Toby literally thinks he's a dog...

12. He hates taxes

He grew up in New Hampshire so moving to Boston must have been a shocker. He might be able to make taxes more reasonable, or do something useful with the money.

13. Japan loves him

His buddies in Japan (zun, sakurai, etc) have said Toby blends right in with the people in Japan. He's very polite. SUPER important.

14. He's young

He's level headed and isn't fucked on dementia medication while making life altering decisions for the next generation. He's involved and up to date with modern culture, and knows what people want.

15. He's a cutie

Must I say more?

16. He's a cultural icon

Gen z would vote for him cause they already know Toby's great. Plus everyone who doesn't care about politics would find it hilarious to see toby in the white house.

Why toby shouldn't be president

1. He's too short to see over the podium

2. He's stage fright

3. He'd eat the declaration of independence

4. He doesn't want to be

5. No more delrarune :(

#toby fox #toby fox facts #indiedev #undertale #gamedev #tobyfox #tobyfoxfacts #headcanon #funny #deltarune #hypothetical #toby fox for president

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justinspoliticalcorner · 3 months

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Daniel Villarreal at LGBTQ Nation:

During New York City Pride last Sunday, pro-Palestinian protestors blocked the parade route, spraying red paint onto a truck towing the Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC) float. Some protestors began distributing informational leaflets, others smeared themselves in red paint and unfurled Palestinian flags, and several sat in the street alongside a white banner that read, “No queer liberation without Palestinian liberation.” “Free, Free Palestine!” they chanted, and “Shut it down!”

“By taking blood money from arms manufacturers, @HRC has become complicit in the genocide of the Palestinian people,” wrote the protest organizer, Writers Against the War on Gaza (WAWOG), in an X post alongside a video of the action. “Stop arming Zionism. Free Palestine.” New York City police quickly cleared the area of photographers while onlookers repeatedly shouted, “Shame!” Officers then zip-tied the protestors, arresting 10 and charging seven with disorderly conduct, told Gay City News reported. Pro-Palestinian protestors had criticized the HRC last February for accepting a “platinum” financial sponsorship from Northrop Grumman, a weapons manufacturer that supplies the Israeli military. HRC has issued previous statements sympathizing with those harmed by the conflict.

But WAWOG wasn’t the only group who disrupted a Pride event this year to protest for Palestine. In Boston, Massachusetts, over 100 protestors blocked the parade route, and over 60 pro-Palestinian organizations signed a letter calling on the parade’s organizers to stop accepting money from companies with financial ties to Israel. In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, pro-Palestinian protestors blocked the parade, facing off against a drumline. In Denver, Colorado, pro-Palestinian protestors interrupted a ska band performing on the PrideFest main stage to explain that the same conservative Christian nationalists who support the bombing of Palestine also regularly encourage violence against LGBTQ+ people. In San Francisco, California, over 1,000 people boycotted the main parade to attend a “No Pride in Genocide” Palestinian solidarity march, co-organized by Queers Undermining Israeli Terrorism (QUIT) and a local chapter of Jewish Voices for Peace. The march’s organizers accused SF Pride of accepting sponsorships from corporations “actively involved in the genocide of the people of Gaza” while noting Israel’s human rights abuses against Palestinian queers.

“Palestinian queer people do not have the right of return, are subject to the dehumanizing and violent treatment Israel gives to all Palestinians at its numerous checkpoints, often do not have the ability to enter into Israel, even if in a relationship with an Israeli, and suffer the same persecution as all Palestinians,” a QUIT spokesperson said to LGBTQ Nation in a statement. Israel’s treatment of Palestine has long divided the LGBTQ+ community. Israel has spent millions to tout itself internationally as the most LGBTQ+-friendly nation in the Middle East. Meanwhile, Palestine grants nearly no civil rights to its own LGBTQ+ citizens. Pro-Palestinian protestors have long accused Israel of using its LGBTQ+-inclusive policies to “pinkwash” its human rights violations against Palestinians. As a result, anti-queer conservatives in the U.S. often resort to “homonationalism,” citing Muslim-majority countries’ anti-LGBTQ+ policies as a pretext for racism, Islamophobia, and violence against Muslims.

[...] Some members of the queer community, like Ethan Felson, executive director of A Wider Bridge, a nonprofit that connects LGBTQ+ communities in North America and Israel, say that the pro-Palestinian protests have made some Jewish queers feel unsafe and unwelcome at this year’s Pride events. Felson’s sentiments have been echoed by out gay Rep. Ritchie Torres (D-NY), who has taken a very pro-Israel stance in the conflict.

“The anti-Israel wing of the LGBTQ community is essentially telling pro-Israel Jews that if you wish to be a part of the LGBTQ community, then you have to be in the closet about your Zionism, you have to be ashamed of your Zionism,” Torres told NBC News, referring to the movement to establish a Jewish homeland. “That to me is not Pride. That’s a perversion of Pride.” But the stakes of not speaking up have never been higher. While Biden’s policies have upset pro-Palestinian queers, other LGBTQ+ people have also pointed out that Trump doesn’t support Palestine either. As president, Trump drafted a “peace plan” for the region without any Palestinian input. He also defunded the UN’s agency for Palestinian refugees and moved the U.S. Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem while closing the U.S. mission to Palestine in the same city, both of which heightened tensions in the region. Additionally, Trump has said he will reinstate his Muslim travel ban and oversee mass deportations of immigrants in the U.S., having accused immigrants of “poisoning the blood of our country.” Overall, his stances threaten undocumented Arab families living in the U.S., increase hostility towards Arab Americans, and remove any pretense of the U.S. being a mediating force in Middle Eastern peace talks.

Pride Parades across the nation, including New York City, San Francisco, Philadelphia, and St. Louis, have had pro-Palestinian protesters blocking and disrupting parades to protest sponsors of Israel Apartheid State’s genocide campaign in Gaza and their pinkwashing campaign against LGBTQ+ Palestinians.

#LGBTQ+ Pride Month #Israel/Hamas War Protests #Pride Month #Pride Parades #LGBTQ+#Palestine #Israel/Hamas War #Israel/Palestine Conflict #Queers For Palestine #Homonationalism #Ritchie Torres #Pinkwashing #Israel Apartheid State #Israel #Free Palestine #Gaza Genocide

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gaytravelinfo · 1 year

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The Revolution Hotel - Boston, MA

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#Best of Boston #Boston boutique hotels #boston hotels #Boston loft hotel #Boston unique hotels #boutique hotel #cosmica boston #cosmica mexican restaurant boston #gay boston #gay friendly boston #gay friendly boston hotels #gay travel blog #gay travel information #gay travel writer #lesbian travel writer #The Revolution Hotel

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kennyomegasweave · 1 year

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Nick's going to destroy Boston. I don't know if it's going to be intentional or not, but he's going to ruin him and I can't wait.

Boston likes Nick, he likes having sex with Nick, and he thinks Nick's safe. Those are all facts, as far as I'm concerned.

Boston's been sleeping around the whole time him and Nick have been hooking up. There's no reason to have kept Nick around if he didn't actually like to be around him. I think his hookup recording and blackmailing him scared him. His dad's a politician, and even if he's gay friendly, that would be a really bad thing to come out. So I do believe he does just wanna keep it to Nick for a bit because he likes hanging around him, likes the sex, and doesn't think he would do something like that. Everyone thinks Nick's an innocent sweet little guy, whose worst trait is banging Boston, and who would never do anything bad, Boston included.

Which is why Nick's audio is going to wreck him. Not only is he rightfully gonna lose his friends, but he actually seemed to be having Baby's First Real Emotional Growth over Nick and he's gonna get burned badly by that.

I'm excited to see how low he's gonna go once the audio comes out because we saw with the crossfaded fight that he turns into a wounded animal lashing out at everyone when he's hurt. And, when all is said and done, I think Nick, of all people, secretly recording him is gonna hurt him even worse than Top not wanting him.

#only friends #only friends the series #Boston is going to get his shit rocked by Nick #and I think it's gonna hurt more than anything else solely because it came from Nick #and I cannot wait #just adding this tag to say #Boston is my baby and I love him #I am not hating Boston #but he does need to get his shit rocked cause he's being a royal asshole #regular clyde

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iguessitsjustme · 1 year

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This is gonna be a lot because I have many thoughts and they are not coherent in my own brain so who knows what they’re gonna be like when written out. But I was thinking about Only Friends and the friend group and the queerness of it all and something unlocked in my brain. Not entirely sure what unlocked but let’s find out together, shall we? Buckle up children, we’re going on a ride.

I will be the first to admit, I am not the biggest fan of the people in this friend group, particularly Mew and Cheum, BUT my personal feelings on these characters do not matter. If I were in college with them, I would probably have befriended them. I’m about to make a whole lot of assumptions but I feel comfortable making these assumptions. What are the odds that there’s another queer friend group at that school? Maybe April has queer friends? Maybe April is THE queer friend. So, assuming that there are not a whole lot of our queer people at that school, it makes sense that Mew, Cheum, Ray, and Boston stick together. Whether or not they remain friends after college doesn’t matter. What matters is they found each other during school and they stick together.

Even when they’re angry at each other, they don’t abandon each other. Have they helped Ray like they should? I’d argue no, but they also didn’t leave him friendless (how they treat him is another post). Have they judged Boston for sleeping around? Yep! But they also still count him as their friend even after he slept with Top. Do any of them leave Mew because he has more rules and boundaries regarding sex and relationships than them? No. Do they leave Cheum even though she’s in a committed relationship and her experience as a lesbian is different than their experience as gay men? No. They do not leave each other (again whether or not they’re good friends is not the point here).

I went to college in a small, conservative town. And you’ll never guess what happened. They queer people found each other. My friend group was made up of queer people (and some straight people but mostly queer) and we found each other. Even before some of us were out. Before some of us even knew we were queer. The friend group we found offered us something we would struggle to get elsewhere. It offered us safety and security. Especially because my friend and I could also offer our families who warmly welcomed anyone regardless of sexuality or gender. And there is a lot to be said for having not only friends, but the support and security of a family when you’re queer in a less-than-friendly space.

So the Only Friends group offers each other something so important that they can’t get from a straight friend group, even a group full of allies: they get people who are safe to be themselves around. They get people who understand. They might not understand how each different person expresses their sexuality, but they understand what it means to be queer at that point and time in their lives. Being Mew’s friend gives them, particularly Ray and Boston, a family that will support them. We don’t know how much their father’s know about their queerness, but we do know that both of them feel a certain pressure from their fathers. Having a friend like Mew, that comes from a supportive family, that is willing to extend that support, is huge. And not only a supportive family, but a queer one.

This is a lot to say that regardless of anyone’s feelings towards a specific character, queer people stick together. Not every queer person is going to get along with every other queer person, but being queer gives us all a unique experience that binds us and makes us family. The Only Friends group is a family. I don’t think they like each other very much but they love each other and they do their best to protect each other. Families don’t always get everything right, but what’s important is that at the end of the day, they all have a safe place to fall back into. As they go out into the world, they might remain friends or they might grow apart, but what they will always know is they gave each other a safe place when they were younger and what could ever matter more than that?

#only friends #only friends the series #only friends series #ofts #I wrote this on my lunch break at work #so please bear with me and my incoherent thoughts

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