#gay objects omg

[redactedonyt]

Tried a diff style for this mans legs,

I’m so excited for his character this season ^^

______________

The board definitely didn’t take me 30 minutes ;)

[comphetthings]

i had a dream about a male celebrity (one that i don't even find cute?? wtf) getting horny by me and now i feel grossed out and confused as fuck because what if im straight and i'm actually pretending to be gay

[mytoehurt69]

i made this cus i watched an object show and it was pretty cool

i like bow cus theyre cool

also this isnt the actual design cus im cool

(ignore the circle on her lip, it was the pen)

[carolinanadeau]

well. uh. my fanfic has finally attracted the attention of a Person I Definitely Don't Want to be Friends With. I mean at least they didn't insult me or anything and seemed to actually like the story but I feel weird being perceived by such a person at all. I'm just going to slink away on the ground like a flattened Snoopy

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - new entries upset the rankings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Like most Thai BL pulps, this show doesn’t have much story to it. But I'm discovering that what it does have I actually really enjoy. I love that the gay boys got to play matchmaker for a change and I like how just GAY they are. It's nice. Refreshing.

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon. I like it. It’s old school Thai BL, but having fun with itself and its tropes. I’m not expecting much, so I don’t mind it waffling. All the couples are comfy. Chemistry is okay. Friendships are nifty. I like Pond's floppy hair. We fine. 

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - What an extremely bloody episode. And bad guy turned out to be very bad indeed. And now pretty much everyone is dead. Nice kiss. Of course. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 6 of 8 - It’s cute, they happy, not a ton happened. Random gratuitous bathing. As you do in BL. And I still think the sides should just end up in a thrupple

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they very cute. Also very silly. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - No. NOT THE GUITAR. YES abandon guitar for the sniff test! Love this for them. And me. My most favorite trope defeated my least favorite trope. VICTORY!!!  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 8 of 11 - It’s just so good. Baby went away, grew up, and learned how to become a temptation... and a husband. 

Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 5 eps - SooHyuk, only just surviving, reunites with YoonDae, his (brief) younger stepbrother who feels abandoned. They end up living together. The younger brother is played by Lee Jae Bin of Choco Milk Shake. OMG. STEPBROTHERS TROPE. Lucky me! Two in one season. Yay!!!! It's Korea so great visuals too. I shallow but yeah, this is great.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake. It’s utterly charming. I am charmed. Also the framing is gorgeous (of course). Very stylish.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know. Kind of a flat ending with the leads apart for most of it. I enjoyed this show but it never really hit with me. 

Summation

After a teen betrayal and resulting separation a reporter reunites with his first love. That love wants him back. I enjoyed the authenticity of a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scenes with this Japanese style of authenticity was oddly elegant but all in all this still fell a little flat for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, but in total the narrative felt sluggish and the main couple were just... stiff (in the wrong way). Frankly, I'd rather just rewatch Tokyo in April is. 8/10

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - What is going on with this show? No, I get the plot. I just don't get the show or why I’m watching it. Annoying. 

It's done, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7-8fin - I can't for the life of me find the final 2 episodes. Haven't had a real hunt, but yeah. No dice so far.

It's airing but...

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari (Japan Furritsubs) eps 1-? of 10 - I may wait and binge it.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - only 4 eps, tell me if I should bother?

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/18 At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

Still to Come in April

4/25 Boys Be Brave! AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - Trailer Jung Ki Sub is Kim Jin Woo's slacker friend - and secret crush. So when Ki Sub crashes at his place, his heart tingles to be near him everyday. But as the short stay turns into permanent mooch, how long can Jin Woo keep his true feelings under wraps and hold back from confessing?

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Sniff test turning into a make out sesh? Please and thank you. City of Stars

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a bother.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[39oa]

top 3 landoscar moments <3

miss risa you have no idea how difficult this was i think this is like 20x the acceptable length of what this prompt called for.

honorable mentions: not one specific moment but any instance of 1) lando constantly giving oscar the opportunity to win in the final round (see winner-takes-all during summer games + 100-point ultimatum in mini golf), i think if we tallied all their wins by round over the course of mclaren pr videos he'd honestly be above oscar by now, 2) lando being obessed with saying OSCUHHHH like it's an actual filler word he's ingrained into his basal speech patterns instead of his legal name, and 3) obviously oscar hearts-eyeing lando's entire existence in general though i think one great moment is the virgin radio uk appearance because why were they still managing to exchange extremely charged eye contact throughout 14 minutes of zak brown sitting between them. brah

other hms include ice bath video just because them making those sounds at each other was objectively hilarious, the cricket match-up (lando getting all worked up like "nice and easy oscar or else i'll take you off in the next race!!!" "i'm just worried about oscar, i feel like he's a silent killer you know" "oscahhh ): let me get you out mate ))):" and then oscar nonchalantly going Well it's only lando bowling i'll be fine. and immediately decimating him with his aussie schoolboy cricket prowess lmfao), suzuka in general but more specifically oscar not being prepared in the slightest to get absolutely doused by lando on the podium after he foksmashed his champagne, and also underrated landoscar moment is definitely oscar submitting the lando P3NI5 photo to a neural network image guesser.

ok let me get onto the actual list but thongs debate too just because lando obviously Knew but was doing it to be a little shit... in general i think what's fun to me about landoscar is that they've become quite natural in a sort of quiet domestic way so i like any moment that shows off their wordless communication, or alternatively oscar's endless level of patience + tolerance toward lando (listening to whatever pre-race music he blasts / silently giggling at his antics during the cake decoration video). like it's kind of funny when lando pretends in any way that he's miles more hilarious than oscar is because 1) he literally has the exact same sarcastic sense of humor, 2) 80% of his humor is a defense mechanism anyway, and 3) he's probably even more baseline introverted than oscar is (omg i could write a thesis on their social media presences but i won't.) and whenever people talked about how carlando were So Funny as teammates and mistakenly ascribed effusiveness to lando's character in response to their dynamic it quickly became apparent later on that carlos was always the one bringing this out in lando and not the other way around so... like i think their humor matches up well just in subtle moments aka the post-double podium video where oscar is like eyeing the way lando is holding his trophy at the start and then lando gets embarrassed and they start giggling while poor andrea is trying to make his speech like If you two don't stop!!

ANYWAY THE LIST:

🥉 twister: not really because it tells me anything wrt aspects of their dynamic but just because it's SO RIDICULOUS AND UNHINGED. first of all it's such a stunning instance of lando being better at something than oscar is but then the something is literally just being flexible so that's already a large enough indictment there (why are you as a man only good at golfing and being a little gaybo... i won't). but like [face-to-face with oscar's ass while folded up like a little pretzel] "what a sight that is" / "OSCUHH" x5 WHILE HIS VOICE IS LITERALLY GOING HOARSE IN THE PROCESS / and of course the most formative "YOUR LEFT FOOT IS NOT GOING BETWEEN MY LEGS!!!" actually dynamics-wise this WAS informative in that it proved to us that oscar will always be the first to lose at gay chicken. amen

🥈 sportbible green flag video: i think this video deserves to be slotted in at #2 because it's from when their teammate dynamic was still somewhat fresh but it proved to me that oscar was capable of Handling lando... like lando was clearly On One here and saying the most genuinely unhinged shit and somehow oscar still managed to find him funny and charming?!?? which i think is important because as much as oscar has always been characterized as chill and accepting there have been instances of him being genuinely flabbergasted and/or frustrated during his prema days which is of course also a reflection of age and natural maturity, but i still feel like specifically with lando he is SOOOOO TOLERANT of all his particularities and FOR WHATTTTTT. but also you can see during the >LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR STUPID GOATEE ON moment that this was when lando was starting to understand that oscar wouldn't bend to everything he said and could be witty and incisive (silent killer) when he wanted to be and i think this is important as well in determining the equal footing of their dynamic. tbh my favorite moment here is the entire astrology question because of lando confidently assigning oscar piscesisms when that couldn't be any further from the truth. go off king of rejecting logical reasoning

🥇 LANDO'S BIGGEST FAN INCIDENT: this is #1 to me for so many reasons aka 1) i think this was formative to landoscar taking off as a ship in general because it spanned multiple fics but also 2) this was Personally what convinced Me to actually invest in 814 ship stonks because beforehand i was like "ok clearly oscar likes lando as a teammate and lando thinks oscar is a little lame and dry (in a mildly derogatory instead of fond way) and also oscar is just an attentive listener in general so his heart eyes disposition is mildly exaggerated" but then i watched this and it rewired my brain chemistry. the way we were still skeptics in august... 

this whole fanmeeting is insane for several reasons but basically it boggles my mind because the entire exchange starts from the moment oscar is DESCRIBING HOW LARGE HIS NECK HAS GOTTEN which means lando is like sitting there quietly cataloguing the size of his body while oscar gets mildly flustered by the nature of the conversation and then lando deliberately cuts in like mate i'll buy you a new shirt and you can tell you can TELLLLL he was sitting on that response making sure it read well in his head. also it's doubly insane because when oscar responds that he'll get him a smaller shirt to strangle him they're both clearly interpreting it in bad faith like "you just want to get rid of me because i'm your competition xD" but then for whatever reason lando decides to make it Exceedingly weird 5 seconds later and his VOICE LITERALLY CRACKSSSS WHEN HE SAYS HE'LL BUY HIM A SEE-THROUGH SHIRT???????? like what's all this then. why did he essentially call oscar fit. why did he default to his little fantasy of seeing Known Bad Dresser oscar piastri in a shirt detailing lando's possession of his affections. genuinely calamitous levels of embarrassing for everyone involved i don't even know what to say.

ok i'll stop but hopefully this was informative <3 i'm so sorry

edit: omg i forgot to mention this but also the iconic silverstone fan stage side-hug and lando's whole face lighting up when he realized oscar was the one initiating physical contact!!!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[daze4all]

Imagine: Wedding Crasher! Blade

Imagine: Wedding Crasher! Blade kidnaps Groom! Dan Heng’s bride as in “Your wife is my wife” because we were once married, I have the jade bracers and earrings as proof. Lol.  

Serious Take: Traditional red Chinese wedding  vs comedic white western classic wedding gone wrong scenario

Blade defeats the guard escorting the wedding procession defeats guard and steals bride away from wedding palanquin

Does so to confront Dan Heng in fight/talk

Originally bride worried about Dan Heng past and now it come to haunt them both in Blade who says must pay the price.

Red wedding veil curation move aisde think it intended bridegroom but instead jealous blade.

Dan Heng goes to save bride reader confront blade.

Somehow end happily?

10x funnier if bride is Trailblazer MC for 10x chaos

Blade Steals the bride in a bridal carry and Dan Heng spars to get her back or he scoop up Dan Heng instead and stelle chases after lol

Silver wolf & Kafka outside waiting with getaway car.

Comedic : In a comedic white western classic wedding gone wrong scenario:

Perfect white wedding all character there, belabogs gepard and bronya, and crew, the loufu jing yuan and yanqing .

 Front pew as fam the star rail crew march best bridesmaid, himeko happy mother-in-law

dad welt blowing his nose as proud father said wasn’t going to cry but is at omg my kids getting married thank god.

-The priest! loucha asking couple to say vows and if anyone object speak now or hold your piece

-and up comes Wedding Crasher! Blade walking slowly and purposely up the aisle says I object with sword by his side  

- What why? Chaos as people get to feet ready to fight as he pointa his sword at the couple and say “there is price to pay” and something Dan Heng not being honest and technically already married due to some loufu law which Jing yuan reluctantly confirms.

-           However another weird rule on loufu is that its all okay if they technically are all married lol . Basically my wife is your wife.

- Dan Heng not okay with this, Blade pushing it for his revenge, and chaotic! Stelle like okay a  2 for one deal don’t worry Dan Heng I love you enough to marry Blade too.

- Basically, the Yandere! Ex! Blade not over and likes to hold their past relationship over Dan Heng/Feng vs Dan Heng who wants to move on

Dan Heng aghast and against this sudden revelation.

Blade Steals the bride in bridal carry and Dan Heng spars to get her back

Or Blade scoops Dang Heng up and yeets as Stelle chases after Blade murder in her eyes. no one upset the bridezilla on her wedding day lol

Silver wolf & Kafka outside waiting with getaway car.

10x funnier if bride is Trailblazer MC for 10x chaos

+Devolves into a bet for the bride fighting chaos.

Gambler! Sampo taking bets on who will win the bride

Photographer! March shocked cries out “Dan Heng, I never knew you had secret lover!” while taking pictures to document Dan heng big day gone worng.

Best Parents! Himeko & Welt run up to support Dan Heng “We’ll Support you in whatever choice you make” understanding parent think their kid is gay/polymerous/has secret lover where Dan Heng is like “I need battle support! Not mental support.”

Groom! Dan Heng denying “I don’t! I don’t remember this man”

Modern AU a weird amnesia situation maybe where Dan Heng once married to Blade but hit head coma accident lost but found Stelle they fell in love go married but blade shows up to object at wedding .

Jing yuan coughing on the sidelines be like “I tried to tell him….”

Other guys Objecting the marriage saying they like Stelle too in a weird reverse harem situation.

Jing yuan want to Join maybe cuz they all friends lol.

Gepard the gallant childhood friend who never got to confess his feelings until now the worst moment lol “Since everyone else is professing their feelings and if I don’t now I’ll never get to and will regret it. I-”

“NO Gepard don’t bad timing “ Serval his sister interrupting and saving him embrassement

Bailu and Clara in the background cutely confused ask “I thought this was one wedding rather than one with multiple people?”

“Normally that is the case…but at this rate my calculations say no one will be getting married” Mr. Sampo analyzing the situation as chaos unfolds.

[lillabelle]

People using "queerbait" in reference to Buddy Daddies is driving me fucking insane. Queer baiting is when they bait queer people by teasing queerness for viewership. Queer baiting is NOT you wanting them two characters to be gay because they're close.

The show was never advertised as queer media, Kazuki is shown to be into women, the title is also literally "BUDDY daddies", there's been no teasing that Rei and Kazuki are in a relationship in any way, not even in the last episode where they're asked about being Miri's dads.

The closest scene you could call as bait is the bed sharing scene, which was literally just Miri being a menace. Nothing blushy or teasing about it. Their objection to it was that it wouldn't be comfortable for all three to be sharing a bed, not that omg that's gay.

And because someone is bound to twist my words: I love these two as a ship, I would be over the damn moon if they ended up together romantically. But as far as the show has gone, these two have been p strictly platonic.

[moondal514]

It’s so funny how much more Jing Beiyuan’s looks are emphasized in TYK as compared to Qi Ye (which makes sense cuz the main pov’s in Qi Ye are Jing Beiyuan himself, who obviously doesn’t really think about it, and Wu Xi, who is in love with him and therefore not a reliable narrator when it comes to being an objective source for Jing Beiyuan’s physical appearance). Like literally every time he appears on page, the pov character, no matter who it is (even poor Chengling, who is baby but still gets sent into instant gay panic), is like “omg this is the hottest person I’ve ever seen in my life” and given Jing Beiyuan’s entire personality (aka he’s a weird old man at heart), it’s just a very funny contrast

[redactedonyt]

My heart hurts, this was cuter than I thought it would be ❤️

[matan4il]

Okay, story time.

Years ago I was writing a paper for uni about a queer reading of David and Jonathan, and why it's totally legit (even intentionally invited by the text).

When I started doing my research for it, I discovered that while the queer reading of David and Jonathan is pretty well known in queer circles, there's very little in the way of actual academic material on it, whether we're talking about a literary, religious or historical analysis of the text and this interpretation of it. I had maybe 2-3 essays about queer reading of ANY part of the Bible. And most of ot? Was actually not that great. Very little of it was about anything objective, most of it was just a suggestion for a different subjective reading of the text. Which is legit, but not enough. Most of the time, for an interpretation to be considered legit, we have to show that it relies on something that objectively exists in the text.

And then I found this paper by a guy determined to DISPROVE the queer reading of David and Jonathan. Now when I barely have material that's in favor of a queer reading of David and Jonathan, why would I be wasting my time reading what was written against it? But I'm a weirdo, and I always wanna know the counterarguments that can be used against me, too. Yeah, even if I disagree with them.

AND OMG AM I HAPPY I'M LIKE THAT.

Because this guy? Did a PHENOMENAL job at proving that objectively, the bow is the symbol of masculinity to the ancient Israelites. This is relevant because a biblical verse mentions that Prince Jonathan gave David his bow. I'm gonna say it again, this guy proved that for any Israelite back then, regardless of the subjective place they come from, when they were reading the text, what they would get from it is that JONATHAN GAVE DAVID THE PHALLIC SYMBOL OF HIS MASCULINITY. Tell me that doesn't align perfectly with a queer reading...

So why was this guy, who's trying to disprove the queer reading of David and Jonathan, proving the gay potential of this moment? Because to him, if Prince Jonathan has a symbol of masculinity, that means he's a masculine man, and no masculine man can be gay. Yep, the guy writing this paper was so blinded by his own bigotry, homophobia and misconceptions about masculinity and sexual orientation, that he didn't even realize he was handing me a valuable tool to prove queer readings of David and Jonathan are 100% legit.

Why am I mentioning this now all of a sudden?

Because sometimes the haters and anti's of a fandom are actually precisely like that guy, and it both amuses me to no end, and also makes me wonder if they realize how much their efforts sometimes backfire, and instead of destroying my love for and belief in a ship, they actually end up reinforcing it.

If you ever feel down because of haters in your fandom, just remember this.

[mytoehurt69]

istg im not posting my pfp on tumblr.com

[animentality]

Listen I know that the yaoi fandom was super cringe back in the day, but when they said: "I wish I was a man so I could have gay sex with men," I mean.

Does that sound like a straight cis girl to you?

Everyone's cringe as a teenager, because teenagers are figuring something out.

I object to people who insist all yaoi and slash fan girls are all cishets who are the root cause of all homophobia.

I'd bet you that most of them are queer themselves, and those who are not, are still far less harmful than the homophobes of the world.

Like you think teen girls writing narusasu porn are worse than evangelicals who bomb abortion clinics?

Fuck you.

Also the people who say straight women fetishize our existence, well, sometimes they do, but straight people fetishize their own existence too.

And there are people who act as though straight women are hounding gay and bisexual men on the regular and trying to get them to kiss- what world are you living in?

There's no way that's happening in significant numbers for it to be some kind of huge problem. You're 600x more likely to get your ass beat for holding hands with a man in public than having a yaoi fangirl come up to you and say omg can you kiss your bf while I watch?

Women and AFAB people are just not raised that way, but that's a whole different issue that we won't get into.

Leave yaoi girls alone. They're not really hurting anyone, and if they do, well, if it's an irl situation, it's probably just an embarrassing thing they'll look back on in their thirties.

Call me when a yaoi fangirl puts a gun to a gay man's head and tells him to make out with a guy.

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Tw: lesbophobia, bullying, petty bitching about the Mean Girls remake and a subset of OG movie fans:

I Know. I KNOW its a me thing. But I saw a post that broke containment about the new Mean Girls movie how OMG REGINA CANONICALLY SINGS ABOUT GETTING GIRLS IN THE END SONG and my first response was "oh god, really?"

Look, I was never wild about the whole "Regina George was secretly closeted and that's why she picked on Janis to distract from her own feelings and save herself" fan theory but at least it was JUST a fan theory. And I know the original movie ending where it turns out Janis isn't even really gay, she was Lebanese and Regina got confused, and see she dances with a boy at the end, it's all okay she wasn't ACTUALLY a dyke!!!! - yeah I rolled my eyes too. Yeah, that was dumb and a coward's move, but idk. At least the movie itself, even if it copped out at the end by not risking having two of the protagonists be ACTUALLY gay in a teen movie...at least it seems aware that homophobic bullying is bad??

The original movie, whatever else you can say about it, or how it handled that issue or any others...at least tried to take that shit seriously. Janis was an outcast years after middle school who flinches at the idea of Damian telling anyone new about what Regina said about her for fear any new friends would abandon her immediately over it. Even Regina herself (blithely, callously, of course, but it's meant to be that) admits that the bullying Janis got as a result of Regina spreading those rumors about her made Janis break down, cut her hair and have to leave school temporarily over the rumors. Regina said that. Herself. With no remorse but she said it. The movie is a comedy, but it doesn't shy away from how brutal bullying of all forms can be. That's kind of the whole point of the goddamn movie.

But idk if the fans of this theory haven't experienced that much bullying themselves or its just a coping mechanism I can't relate to...that theory of "oh Regina's a closet case homophobe poor thing" just completely (to me) softens the whole thing, these fans do it to by making Regina in a sense, another victim. They may not intend it that way, but in the few times I've seen a Mean Girls post and my nostalgia got me scrolling a bit I've stumbled on this. Seen it in various places online and it always made me want to hiss like a wet cat because it's always like "omg poor Regina comphet sucks <333" and. Hork. Im sorry, hork.

Sorry, but I spent too much time BEING on the receiving end of that shit in middle school, getting called names and treated like an actual disease up until I moved to high school with mostly a whole new set of people over the fact someone spread rumors I was a lesbian, to feel anything but frustration over that. Yeah. I was Janis. I'll admit I can't be "objective" here. I never did any of the shit she does in Mean Girls in revenge, I never had the power or inclination, it wasn't a former friend who started it, but yeah I'm biased because that character was me. I know what it was like to be her because I lived it. And yeah, it kind of sucked!!! Did get better, but yeah. Was what it was.

It's a big part of why I've never liked the trope in popular culture that the loudest homophobic bullies are actually closet cases. It's not that "right wing politician caught soliciting blowjobs" has never been a headline but come on. Most of the people who trash queer people do it because they just hate us. Its trivializing of homophobic harassment to act like that's 1) a good explanation for most cases 2) much less an excuse and that's how it can be used. It'd be one thing if a self-hating person's mindset was like. Actually explored with depth and nuance as part of a story. But otherwise, nah. Miss my formerly lowkey traumatized teenage ass with that dismissive cliched shit.

So even the idea that the movie might be lending any kind of weight to that theory about Regina, however subtle or subtextual, that is??? Yeah funny lol, such iconic, very Representation. Fucking bite me. My lesbian ass is tuning right the fuck out. I'm not paying movie ticket prices to see this, if I'm gonna basically get the sort of person who would've made my life hell as a preteen and tween get turned into One Of Us with the expectation that's going to make me freak out with joy. Even if allegedly they did actually make Janis a lesbian (which, good for them if they did).

Of course, it could just be fans blowing something out of proportion but. Like y'all are not making me want to see this movie MORE and I was at best lukewarm on it having never seen the musical and being lowkey burnt out on the idea of yet another remake.

[pansy-picnics]

SHE IS SO NERODIVERGENT OMG. i pretty much described the first few episodes to my friend as “rapunzel is autistic and no one else knows how to handle an autistic person” pffft. she’s just so. gosh. she’s so full of love :( she went through so much for her Entire life up until now but she’s still so full of love and passion and sometimes that’s what end up being her downfall, because no one else is taking the time to understand her and they misinterpret how she acts on her care for them. but she just wants to help people :((

SHES SOOO AUTISTIC AND THATS LIKE. HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF HOW THE SHOW ENDED UP PORTRAYING HER bc it definitely has a lot of flaws but like. she has a lot of traits that neurotypical people would typically consider “childish” or “immature” but the show doesn’t infantilize her for it and as an autistic person thats something that makes me really warm and fuzzy inside…..i think she should be Weirder and i think everyone should love her for it!!!!! AND I THINK THEY DO!!!! i will never let go of the idea that cass and varian despite everything they went through will be in her life forever. they care way too deeply abt each other to just let go because of a misunderstanding on rapunzel’s part!!!!! also cass has a massive gay crush on her so she couldn’t remove her from her life even if she tried /j

nothing about rapunzel is neurotypical and i stand by that tbh. its not even just the missing social cues things its the way she’s so in touch with the world,,, like the way shes always barefoot bc shoes feel weird and restricting? like THAT’S AUTISM? literally i have an autistic friend who’s sensory seeking and she said the exact same thing SHE’S JUST AUTISTIC BRO

sorry i can actually go SO in depth on how exactly i think rapunzel’s autism presents. like she’s the kind of autistic who’s really soothed by deep pressure and thats what she always gives everyone big tight bear hugs bc gothel never let her do that but she’s just trying to share that comfort it always gives her. (varian is like this too so they always squeeze each other SOOO tight when they hug and it looks really uncomfortable from an outside perspective but they’re both THRILLED.) she’s the kind of person who has tons of vocal stims and is always bouncing around in some way. she bites people but like Lovingly. she loves weird smells like rubbing alcohol and people have to take it away from her bc they don’t want her to inhale the fumes for too long. when she was a kid she climbed all over EVERYTHING she climbed on the tower roof a lot too if it weren’t for gothel’s gaslighting she would’ve figured out a way to escape by the time she was like 6 years old. she’s hyper emphatic in the way that she grows super attached to inanimate objects. she enjoys trying the most batshit food combinations just to see what they taste like and she usually ends up enjoying them. she’s banned from the kitchen bc once she put ketchup on a hard boiled egg. she’s the kinda person who only uses swears for Special Occasions.

i actually have this one cassunzel fic bookmarked that’s mostly focused on autistic rapunzel and i hold it SOOOO close to my heart i think about it literally all the time ITS CANON TO ME OK. SHE HAS A COMFORT BLANKET AND ITS THE ONE SHE WAS WRAPPED IN WHEN GOTHEL TOOK HER FROM THE CASTLE…..IT HAS THE SUN CREST ON IT AND THATS HOW SHE STARTED PAINTING IT. IT MAKES ME SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP BC I HAD A COMFORT BLANKET WHEN I WAS A KID AND I COULDN’T SLEEP WITHOUT IT. AUGHHH.

rapunzel is the sweetest person in thw world i wholeheartedly believe everyone loves her. LIKE SHE BASICALLY REDEEMED *counting on my fingers* LIKE AT LEAST 6 CRIMINALS??? PROBABLY MORE??? and at the same time shes so Weird. like i think shes weird in a very specific way that doesn’t even have anything to do with the autism shes just kind of a freak bc like she grew up in a tower for 18 years ofc she is. like i think shes so infatuated with the world as a whole she loves Everything shed treat the worlds most venomous creature like a little puppy. whenever eugene is screaming about bugs in the castle shes like “awwwww little guy :(“ and goes and picks him up and brings him outside. shes like holding a tarantula the size of her hand like “eugene how could you be scared of this little face :(“ and eugene’s like “Blondie we need to burn this whole castle down”

its basically canon too like remember that one scene in beginnings where she brought that whole fucking wolf out from the woods and he just didn’t even bother her like they were chill. all animals are chill with rapunzel like that.

but also she probably ate bugs once like one day she got really bored in the tower and she saw pascal eating a bug and shes like “Oh huh i bet it must taste good” and so she just tried eating a couple of bugs because she could. and yknow what she probably liked it too but the only reason she doesn’t anymore is bc she feels bad for the bugs.

i also think she was weird in a sense that like…when she was in the tower something about her always just seemed a little Off yk? something about the way she stared or her body language…it was because of the abuse ofc. but like she generally had this very porcelain doll look to her. like she was so slim and frail (malnourished) and she was strangely pale and the few freckles over her nose just seemed Too perfect. everything about her just looked untouchable, unreal, almost uncanny…..something abt it just made you uneasy but you could never put your finger on Why. and i think it’s especially clear when people look at her like ten or so years down the line…she’s much healthier, shes got some more weight on her, she looks much more comfortable in her body. she always has the biggest grin on her face. she’s got a light tan and shes absolutely COVERED in freckles from head to toe. scars and birthmarks and stretch marks on her skin tell this story of the life she’s lived and what she’s seen. she’s covered in tattoos, all designed herself (because you cant convince me she wouldn’t go CRAZY as soon as she finds out about tattoos ok.) shes always bouncing around everywhere, theres happiness literally RADIATING from her and shes so bright it’s blinding….

GOD she makes me so emotional. she is just so full of love and joy……….she draws pascal with freckles so they match……her favorite color is all of them….she’d sacrifice her life for all of her friends any day. she totally gets all huffy when her loved ones try to care for her when shes sick because she doesn’t want them to get sick too. yk the way everyone talks abt princess diana like thats how everyone in the tangled universe talks abt rapunzel i feel. i’m just. FUCK. PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH.

[barkhoffman]

3, 7, 10?! spins around and falls over on my face

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've ever seen on tumblr

hm it's gotta be either someone who was like WHY would ANYONE ever ship HOFFSTRAHM (delulu) or that one I alluded to in the last one where someone said that Adam was not a liar lmao like no shade to that person in particular I just found it very funny and very very inaccurate

I'm sure there are objectively more garbage takes because I haven't been in this fandom on tumblr for very long though, I'm confident I'll vagueblog about a worse post when I find one AHAHAHA

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

I haven't been in the fandom proper long enough to hate any characters for this specific reason but I'll come back to this post to eat my words in a couple months I'm sure

10. worst part of fanon

this is controversial and might get rocks and sticks and tomatoes and sharp objects thrown in my direction but

"Hoffman intended Strahm to trust him and get in the glass coffin omg he's so sad that he didn't!!!"

besties I

I hate to break it to you but

they spend all that time with John training Hoffman on anticipating human nature for a reason

Hoffman 3000% intended Strahm to get panini pressed, he knew from the experience of putting Strahm in his first trap that Strahm was not the type to trust Jigsaw (or much of anyone), he worded Strahm's second tape how he did specifically knowing he wouldn't get to the end and wouldn't do what it said even if he did

like I know the glass coffin is the Titanic door for weird gay people but Hoffman in no way, shape, or form ever intended for Strahm to actually become his apprentice or survive that room I'm SORRY I KNOW WE LIKE TO BE FLUFFY AND DELUSIONAL HERE I JUST WROTE OVER 12K WORDS OF FLUFF FOR THEM BUT IT'S NOT! REALISTIC!!!

and on that note, if you look closely at the end of that scene, Hoffman isn't turning his head away from Strahm's death, he's turning his head under the gap in the walls specifically so that he can keep watching Strahm getting crushed the entire time until the walls are all the way closed, HE WAS SMIRKING BASICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME THE WALLS WERE CLOSING HE WAS SMIRKING

idc what Hoffman's actor said about turning his head away as a gesture of guilt, if Hoffman was that guilty about killing Strahm he would have closed his eyes or started to turn his head the second his coffin was money shot'd by Strahm's blood when Strahm's arm cracked open like a crab leg in the hand of your average Marlyander

my hottest most scorching take on this matter is that there's a better argument he actually wanted Rigg to be his apprentice in the style everyone says he wanted to recruit Strahm, since Rigg was actually made to "see what I see/feel what I feel/save how I save" and put people in traps himself, whereas the entire time Strahm is chasing down Hoffman, Hoffman is actively taking the steps to frame him even before Strahm dies (which lends credence to the idea that Hoffman learned how to anticipate people from John and knew there was no way Strahm was leaving that coffin room alive)

sorry I'll probably be excommunicated from the coffinfandom for this or smth but they hated Jesus for telling the truth too

[choose violence ask game]