#generationalhealing

[cooki3face]

A lot of people may not like this one but I think as black women we have a responsibility to our daughters to let them express themselves the way they want to express themselves, especially as a community of women whose femininity has been demonized or otherwise stolen from them for no reason other than because it can be. There’s a lot of discourse about what’s too grown for our daughters or what they are and aren’t allowed to do or express themselves as because we want to protect them from the world or because we don’t want them to be seen a particular way. A lot of this stems from us not being able to protect ourselves and protect our girls from abusers, from pedophiles, from passerby’s whom only desired to consume our daughters, dishonor them, or take from them. But, there comes a time as a community where we have to heal from our trauma, heal from the internalized sexualization of our children and daughters. When we talk about self victimization in the black community, let us not make the mistake of thinking that we have no right to feel upset or be traumatized after what we’ve experienced or the generational trauma we’ve endured and passed down to one another, but let it be a conversation about in which ways we continue to oppress ourselves or hurt one another because of things we’ve learned and are having a hard time letting go of so that we can flourish. This is common in all ethnic households, not just black ones, but because I’m a black woman, I’ll speak from a black experience. Outside of people of color, there is not a reality of a young girls femininity, beauty, or expression being policed so aggressively or limited so easily.

[divine-mystic-princess]

[texaschainsawmascara]

breaking generational curses girlies

Girls s6e7

[rethesun]

This is everything I learned about freedom respect connection relations and love in 2022.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. I thought why not share what I discovered over the year in a 12 minute summary. I enjoy timeless wisdom that expands your mind and relationship with life, which can be utilized universally or found in ancient texts and applied to the present. If anyone reads this, I hope it adds value to your life!

[karen-kosmic-stevens]

👑 CELEBRATING 👑 one of my very special clients - a beautiful young woman - you know who you are ;) You my darling are changing generational patterns, making a REAL difference in not only your own family generational lines, but the entire human race, the Universe and the Collective. So super proud of all you have achieved in such a short time xx You are AMAZING🤩 Thank you for showing up and doing the work x Keep shining beautiful girl 💎🌟💖😘 So much love for you 🥰🥰 #soulwork #spiritualmentor #generationalhealing #selflove #selfrespect #nextgeneration #dothework #healing #karenstevens #mastermatrixdecoder #galacticwitch #witchbook #energyhealing #energywork #youvealwayshadthepower #clientlove https://www.instagram.com/p/CmyP_Llyk_F/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theuiversee]

Welcome to our channel! In this heartfelt video, titled "The Acknowledgement," we dive into a touching story of personal growth and the power of friendship. Join us as we follow the journey of a remarkable individual who takes a moment to recognize and acknowledge their own progress. Through self-reflection and introspection, our protagonist realizes the immense value and impact that a true friend has had on their life. In this emotional narrative, we explore the transformative power of support, encouragement, and companionship. Witness the profound gratitude and humility as our friend expresses their sincere appreciation for the unwavering presence and guidance of their trusted confidant. Through captivating storytelling and genuine moments of vulnerability, "The Acknowledgement" serves as a reminder to cherish the people who have helped shape us into who we are today. It highlights the importance of recognizing our achievements and the invaluable role that friendship plays in our personal development. Prepare to be moved by this touching tale of growth, gratitude, and the enduring bond between two individuals. We hope that this video inspires you to reflect on your own journey and the extraordinary people who have supported you along the way. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe to our channel for more inspiring content like "The Acknowledgement." Join our community of like-minded individuals who appreciate the power of personal growth and the beauty of meaningful connections. Thank you for watching, and we look forward to sharing more incredible stories with you in the future!

[xeyesofstardust]

I love the idea of Persephone and Melinoë breaking the cycle

[vani-is-typing]

i promise

to be kind to my children and do my best to understand their needs. to give them all of my attention when they ask for it and to respect their privacy when they need some space. to reward them and punish them fairly and to love them all equally. to tell them i love them and that i'm always there but also allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from them. to cherish them no matter who they love. to not make them a punching bag for my insecurities and fears. to be gentle and firm and someone they can look up to.

i promise to never treat my future children the way my parents treat me.

[cooki3face]

Healing attachment styles:

When you have an attatchment style like anxious especially or even detatched/avoidant, or even disorganized you may fall into karmic cycles and habits that pull you to love someone wholeheartedly (or in some cases be infatuated with someone,obsessive, or attatched) who you know on a subconscious level isn’t going to fulfill your needs or isn’t able or capable of giving you what you need out of a relationship. You may desire true love, you may desire deep connections, true intimacy, passion, safety, etc. and all of these wonderful things BUT the love and attention you’re used to receiving (even on a fundamental level because attatchment styles are developed early) isn’t what is going to meet your needs. And your idea of what love or what it means or be valued or desired is skewed or warped. So, now when you’re presented with a healthy individual who is capable of caring for you and capable of giving you what you need, you may run from that person or find yourself uninterested or unable to connect with them. But, you are familiar with unhealthy relationships and behavioral patterns and so when presented with those, you find yourself easily attached or feeling some semblance of safety or belonging in those connections.

Start potentially thinking about what types of things you want or desire in your relationships. Don’t pass judgment on yourself or on these things just yet, just reflect. Be honest with yourself. Think about your ideas about what it means to love and be loved as well.

Try to identify what type of attachment style you may have. Look into the attachment styles, think about your parents and the way they handled you as a child or in your youth, etc.

Start thinking about what types of things trigger you or make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable in your relationships. (People canceling last minute plans, being left alone, when you start to become close with someone, etc.)

Ask yourself why these triggers may exist. There’s always a root cause of something you’re feeling however small it may seem on the surface. (Example: you may have a tendency to withdraw when things become serious or when you feel close to someone or when things are going well within a connection. This reflects a fear of deeper commitment or deeper vulnerability and connection. If you are open and receptive, your person may abandon you, may hurt your feelings or may decide to leave you and you don’t feel prepared to deal with or feel the emotional consequences of a situation like that.)

Learn how to be reflective and how to identify the way you feel. Easier said than done for most. But it helps to begin this journey with yourself first, you can practice journaling or sitting with yourself to reflect on how you feel and identify how you feel. If you don’t know how you feel right away when a situation arises, that’s okay, give yourself a moment to come to a conclusion and reflect. (Maybe you feel embarrassed, maybe you feel shameful, maybe you feel guilty, angry, sad, etc.) when you find out how you feel, you can begin to ask yourself why.

You can begin to learn how to communicate with others now. This part is difficult too. You may have to overcome a fear of vulnerability, a fear of rejection, a fear of being misunderstood, a fear of burdening others with your emotions/needs. When given a situation where you feel some kind of way in a connection whether it be platonic or romantic, you can take small steps by learning how to set boundaries, by making sure you tell people what you dislike or what you may feel hurt your feelings or made you feel uncomfortable about their behavior (AFTER you reflect on how you feel, during this process, it’s important you learn to be proactive instead of reactive.) in order to communicate effectively, you must see yourself clearly first.

Healing an attachment style is a big feat, it’s not an easy task, there will be moments where you’ll have to identify if you’re triggered or if someone has intentionally caused you harm or has mistreated you, you’re going to have to be able to communicate through that and be able to self reflect and be still for a while whilst you ground your energy and come to terms with your feelings.

There will absolutely be moments where you may make the mistake of accepting bad things or you may fall into karmic cycles or be tempted by people and things and you’ll need to think about what you deserve vs what you feel pulled to from a wounded aspect of yourself.

There will be moments where significant others in your life like partners and especially parents are people you’re going to have to hold accountable or take off of a pedestal and see honestly.

***

The emotion wheel:

Attachment style chart:

[divine-mystic-princess]

[beepbeepbeep1234]

I once heard the saying that

People only really die when there is no one left to remember them

So I like to think about my great great grandmother

Whom I never met

I don’t even know what she looked like

But I think about her anyway

And let my heart fill with love

Because I’d want someone to do the same for me

[ranjxtul]

cw: mention of self harm, si, abuse and mental illness

i don’t know why i’m doing this, maybe it’s because we’ve changed so much and we’re finally learning how to be alive again, that there’s more to life than pain, so now we actually sort of want to be alive. but, this is to 14 year old me, specifically on january 1 2016.

january first, you started cutting because of the words spat at us by someone supposed to love us unconditionally. i know you didn’t want to live, that we felt crushed. i acknowledge your pain, we were in a rough situation far too young. but i’m here to say almost 7 years later, a lot has changed.

you aren’t ‘friends’ with that abusive person anymore, we’re a third year in uni and have some lovely friends who actually care. you aren’t unlovable. our research professor came to see the show we were just in and she hugged us with the love of a parental figure and told us how proud she was. we have a girlfriend who’s the light of our life. in fact, we’re moving to australia next year for grad school to be with them. we’ve been together a little over two years.

you aren’t useless or untalented. we just made our main stage debut in college despite what everyone said in high school about our talent. we do voice lessons still with someone who believes in us completely. we just got funded to spend our summer doing neuroendocrinology research and we’re soon going to be sending a paper in for peer review so soon we’ll be a published author. we also just got invited to develop a queer piece of theatre.

you’ll learn to speak out about who you are and you’ll educate yourself to be the advocate you want. you’ll escape.

we still struggle though. we still cut sometimes but i don’t blame you, it was your way of surviving. we have DID and america is trying to exterminate us for being trans and we’ve been in therapy for years now trying to sort out everything, which by the way is far more complicated than you think.

you’ll find out that we’re disabled physically and that we’re autistic but we love it. we’re done apologising. we still have a lot of body image issues and we still breakdown when things get bad, and we’re still scared, but we’re trying.

you’ll lose most of your high school friends but maybe it’s for the better. only one of them really loved you for you. eventually you’ll begin to heal from the trauma of highschool and being your classmates’ punching bag. we’re working on it. you’ll learn to love what you love unabashedly after graduating. we love taylor swift and ttrpgs and ethel cain and social advocacy and science.

you technically aren’t me, because of the DID thing, but you’re somewhere in the head and you did what you could.

sometimes it’s hard to not blame you, but i don’t. i forgive you. you did everything you could to survive and for that i’m grateful.

we’re trying to learn to love being us, existing and thriving. we’re trying to forgive ourselves but we forgive you. sometimes all of this writing doesn’t ring true but we’re trying

love, alicent, the future host

[boredgurlblog]

a generation of diet coke addiction

Do you remember those 100-calorie snacks your mom always used to pack you? The ones with a message that reads "you're fat, but these might help" invisibly branded into your lunch box, leaving a burn that scorches long after fourth period. Your mom also might've packed you a fruit roll-up, some Doritos, or even maybe a Fiber One bar to go with your trusty peanut butter sandwich. And to wash it down, the queen of no-calorie, a lukewarm sparkling Diet Coke.

The lunch box Diet Coke was always one of great comfort and stability. The sandwiches or 100-calorie "you're fat" snacks might differ from week to week, but the one thing you could always count on seeing was that flash of red and silver. Diet Coke was always the ultimate crutch, the one thing you could consume without guilt or judgment. A safe haven if you will.

I like to think of Diet Coke as the ultimate generational curse. If you're addicted to Diet Coke, your mother, and your grandmother are most likely addicted as well. It signifies the crippling consequences of how abuse manifests itself differently from one generation to the next. For instance, your grandmother is addicted because there's a small chance that at one point, it was the only thing she consumed. Your mother is addicted because she's stuck on the "South Beach Diet" mentality of the '90s (no calorie, means no consequence). And so by default, you become addicted after it is shoved into your lunch box and down your throat at dinner before you can get your hands on something calorie filled such as juice, or even worse, a real coke.

In some way, a diet coke addiction signifies that you unintentionally inherited some fucked up version of an eating disorder or insecurity that never sees the light of day. In an even more fucked up manner, you came from a household that was so terrified of weight but had no utter clue on how to actually eat healthily. To them, zero-calorie snacks, diet cokes, and Skinny Cow were the gateway to a perfect, love-handless body.

And so, the lunch box becomes a series of morse-coded messages sent from grandmother to mother, to daughter to "get your shit together." This is why the Diet Coke becomes a beacon, a soothing voice that whispers "it's okay, I'm here" while you're looking at Lauren, whose mother packed her homemade soup and a cucumber sandwich.

So we plead, pray, and hope that one day you'll pack your child something incredible like a bento box or avocado toast. Sparing your child from the branding of a diet coke addiction.

[softandpowerful]

recipe for a mother: 1. strength. enough to hold all of her children. to carry the weight of the family when she’s alone. to hold us when we cry. 2. empathy. someone to cry with, to laugh with, to love with. 3. compassion. inner warmth. wholesomeness. clarity. 4. tears. when we’ve fallen. when we’re hurt. to water our fears and help them bloom into more beautiful dreams. to cry when we’re so happy we can’t hold it all in. 5. support. for the foundation of a family, a commitment, a faith. for all the times we’ll try and fail and then try again. 6. tenderness. to hold; to heal. to help keep us soft in the middle. to help keep our faith. 7. love. more than you could ever imagine. #poetry #poetrycommunity #poet #poems #poetsofinstagram #writingcommunity #writersliftingwriters #recipes #motherhood #motherdaughter #formom #generationalhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/CndWeNtMeXB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[brettesims]

Breaking Generational Trauma: How to Become an Artist with a Family Full of Doubters

Hey my little Community!

This has honestly been a topic that has been on my mind for years. I feel like I haven't addressed it, not for personal embarrassment, but due to how embarrassed I was by how others treated me. I am so sick of playing this "prefect family" role society makes us play. Most of us do not have that and I refuse to be ashamed of authenticity. So, lets talk:

In the self love community it is said that we teach others HOW to treat us. So for many years I was ashamed to speak on the emotional abuse I endured within my immediate family and friendship groups. I think we also have to remember how deeply conditioned individuals are, especially black people in America, due to the mental conditioning directly linked to slavery. If you aren't yet awakened in self love then it's easy to blindly and unconsciously play out these patterns; which is the only way I can explain my family blocking my success. My last art hiatus was caused by my family. I don't want to have another so I must speak my mind.

I am an astrology lover and in astrology I am a Mars in Cancer zodiac placement (if you know you know) but your Mars placement is your action. Your method of operation. Being that my placement is in Cancer; the divine mother, I am supposed to flow in soft feminine awareness utilizing my high priestesses spiritual intuition. Instead I was born into a family of wolves. Wolves that often prey on my own happiness and joy, as that is what my art is an embodiment of and represents.

Now, I am sure you are thinking - well it's not uncommon for artists to complain about family support. It's not uncommon for black women to have endured family trauma. Yet, its one thing to have an unsupported family, but it's quite another to have a family that preys on your success and inner love flow.

I come from an emotionally unsupportive family with means. They have every means available; every contact, resource & connection I require to succeed. They supported my brother through law school -jobless. They would even offered him in-family jobs. But when I do art as my job they act as if that isn't real. They showed me none of the same support. They have only been kind to me when I have suffered the abuse of 9-5 jobs they forced me to enslave myself in.

This is not a knock to any 9-5 grind, but it is to say that it ain't for me. It's not my job. And it's toxic for me to pretend as if that is my path. When it came to me evolving as an artist and Nonprofit founder my family has every contact and resource available to support me to if they actually wanted - but most of the time, they choose not to. Every time I lift a project up out of despair or pick myself up from the pain of their incessant emotional abuse, they aim to drag me down further. They cannot stand my joy.

Whether it's campaigning for my Nonprofit, working on my art, launching a podcast, launching a Self Love Shop, Launching NFTs, or a Youtube Channel they pretend to completely ignore everything I work on. My mother "ignored" my Nonprofit then recently created her own, saying I couldn't get involved. She then hired another black woman my exact age and gets a high growing her own Nonprofit as she watches mine struggle and says nothing.

The excuse is that they have "given me everything". Everything I am is because of them they like to remind me. Everything material. But what does that matter if the inside is hollow? What do all the riches in the world mean if the support is fake and the love is conditional? My elitist family attaches value to how much money each person has. They belittle people who have none. They also belittle mental health care and spirituality.

They have disdain for every aspect of what I am. I have always been bullied by my family. They when I do these things in joy and they see it on social media, they stalk my pages and begin to emotionally tear me down. Even when I block them, which I do - it continues because they will gossip to my friends and everyone they know about me. They talk behind my back and tell stories about who and what I am. They have brutally character assassinated me for years.

People love to talk about me but tend to be terrified to actually talk TO me. Probably because they know I see them. I can tell what inauthenticity is because I came from a household full of it. I know when people are talking shit because my family has talked shit about me my entire life. I can tell when people aren’t walking in their truth because I have come from a family that never has.

A few years before the pandemic, when my loving Gemini grandpa died, who was my ONLY sense of unconditional love and support - my family turned on me. My Grandpa, Abba, protected me. He supported me. He taught me art. He clearly saw the ways in which my family treated me; hated my joy and would break me down when they saw me in joy. So growing up, he gave me everything and anything I wanted. I think in some ways he taught me self love. Only because of him do I know I CAN DO, BE and HAVE ALL things. He was a pure soul. I know he is now my guardian angel.

Before a lot of therapy, I had so many gaps in my memory, because I blocked out how bad the emotional abuse actually was growing up. I have always had to hide my joy from my family or they well find it and take it away somehow.

It's like they seek, search and look where I find the most joy, go to that source and taint it. For example, my brother did this with my group of friends. He started hanging out with the 2nd family I had created for myself - FAR away from my real family. He tarnished my name, character and reputation and with it the credibility of my art businesses.

My family loves to spread ill rumors that I have mental health issues when I run a global Nonprofit that exists to help heal the worlds mental health while giving girls of color protection within the art world I never had. Them not supporting me isn’t even the worse part. I think what’s FAR worse is that they lie about supporting me to my face and slander my name behind my back.

As a mental health advocate do you know what that does to my credibility? They socially outcasted me to hide their truth and simultaneously take away my power. I am obsessed with mental health care because I have always had to protect myself from a family that does not take mental health seriously.

I had to take responsibility for my own mental health because they never would. I can't count how many self help books I have read since the age of 15. At 13 I had to BEG for therapy after my parents divorce. I had to heal my own depression through art, self love, books, teachers, courses, meditation, spirituality, and more! I constantly work on myself. I work on myself every single day and am obsessed with inner work and inner growth. I like to show up as the highest version of myself every single day!

This blog is a 14 year old testament to that. So the fact that my family will not stop shading me and breaking me down even now at I'm at the highest point of a career I have had to climb myself up to - is truly deplorable.

I have been harassed by my family for months, and more brutally when announcing my solo art show.

Since no one in my life has ever stood up for me before - I am forced to stand up for myself. How can any artist create without authentic support? It's impossible. I love family. I have a very close connection to my cousins who have nothing to do with this. I even love my family as much as they spew distain back at me.

But I am DONE with this chapter of abuse. Because my family emotionally abused me for so many years and still does... my jobs, circumstances, relationships have all reflected that same abuse. They will never acknowledge it and continue to put up this cookie cutter external view of a "perfect family" never owning up to the fact that this family targets, harasses and emotionally tortures one individual artist. So while I don't even want to write this - I have to.

I should be celebrating my biggest accomplishment of planning for the BIGGEST (and 3rd) solo art show of my career. But I have been protecting myself and battling my family for months now. When announcing the show via social media my mother said "allegedly you have an art show" continuing the on-going false narrative that I am a liar, and my father tried to put in my head and my little sisters head that my paintings don't sell. That is not even true. I have sold many many paintings; by the grace of God. My fathers white girlfriend also lied on my name with my brother. They love talking about me together. And she wouldn’t let me see my own sister for over 2 years. White lies. So yea I think my mental health would have to be intact to deal with such disorder.

And on top of all that… for over 2 years my art collection has been locked in storage due to family. My mother arranged that during COVID behind my back. My Art stuff was stuck in LA and I was in the Bay and no one would help me for 2 years. I recently recovered it.

But you know what the good part of all this is? That my eyes are finally open and that I am no longer afraid to speak out against this abuse, because I know other black women and other artists go through the same and in voicing something - you learn we are never really alone. And happily the humor in all of this is… lol that they all thought I didn’t know; friends and family alike. Since the beginning I’ve been observing them ALL in silence. I’ve been watching how they move and switch up. When they tune out you home in.

So anyway, that was a long story and you can tune into my Podcast to hear all about this in more detail, but sometimes I need to write things off my chest and this was just that.

If you dig my art, all I would really ask is that you support it, support my Patreon, my art shop, Self Love Shop, Podcast, Vlog, Nonprofit and more! I have put so many digital resources our to help the collective heal and to safeguard you all against feelings of betrayal, depression, alonesness and more.

In all of this it has really made me walk my talk on another level. It has taken my artwork and self love to another level. Due to my family coming for me during an actual world pandemic it made me truly realize how much art DOES save lives and self love heals! Self love also saves lives and art heals!

Thank you for allowing me to share tumblr community and thank you for all the love & support you have been showing me! I truly appreciate it!

Click to listen to the Pod about this!

Love,

B

#PROTECTBLACKWOMEN

STOP ARTIST ABUSE - ACT NOW!