#genshin impact who? genshin impact f*ck you

[soulscrying]

keqing - character study #2:

infatuation

The imperial ballroom teems with life, a reflection of ten thousand years past. Patrons of varying degrees from varying corners of Teyvat dance and mingle and laugh with one another. Eighteen year old Keqing barely manages to navigate the venue without bumping into this socialite or that diplomat. Just a moment ago, she’d narrowly avoided reuniting with one extremely persistent Inazuman suitor.

A royal marriage between two nations should be reason enough to celebrate, and so earlier that evening, she'd smothered every instinct in her screaming that there is more to be done, that amidst the global threat issued by the Abyss Order, it’s foolish for thousands to gather together in one location unguarded. 

After her maids’ insistence that yes, her eyeliner was even, Keqing shed her training gear and exchanged her sword for a flimsy folding fan. One hastily fashioned bun later and she’s donned the only dress remaining in her closet (the others, she explained to her mother, had “shrunk in the wash”). It’s flamboyant in color and design, and the corset accentuates her hips a little too much, but otherwise, it's only mildly intolerable. All she needs to do is pick up her feet.

Unfortunately, the edges of her skirt insist on skimming the floor, even three hours later. She disposes of her fan to better gather the dress’ fabric, raising it a hairsbreadth as she begins her fourth round around the room.

A nod, a smile, a simple hello to those she recognizes and those she doesn’t. She should dance at one point, she supposes, but her Liyuen entourage is nowhere to be seen, lost among the crowd or perhaps having escaped the pretentious atmosphere to loiter elsewhere. She itches to join them. It’d been quite some time since they’d all properly caught up with one another. Noya’s face would light up, Mai and Yi would scramble to cover up whatever it is they’re up to (because surely they are up to something, as always), and even Jia might smile, though she’s still …behaving oddly — not quite herself.

She catches a flash of white in her periphery.

Keqing’s breath hitches. Only a few feet away, just barely blocked by a circle of gathered civilians, stands a tall, inconceivably attractive youth — a glass of dandelion wine at hand, head dipped low, listening to a young girl enthusiastically relay a story. A lock of white hair curls against the sharp line of their jaw. Their formal ensemble leaves much to be desired, if one could even consider it “formal” to begin with … though in a way, she found the dark leather waistcoat and distressed trousers charming in a “diamond in the rough” manner.

It hardly occurs to her how long she’s been staring … that is, until the young girl beside them gestures in her direction with a wave. The youth turns to look over their shoulder, eyes widening marginally when their gazes meet.

It takes every ounce of dignified strength to refrain from squeaking and fleeing, and to instead, force a smile upon her face. Keqing returns the wave with one of her own as she (reluctantly) makes her way towards them.

When they’re all standing face-to-face, she clasps her hands low before her, offering them both a bow.

“How are you enjoying the festivities?”

The young girl grins, dimples adorning her cheeks. “Everything’s great! Me and my friends were dancing earlier, but we’re taking a small break.”

“I’ve only arrived a bit ago,” the taller youth claims, glancing at her. Their answering smile to an outsider would appear poised and warm, diplomatic to the fullest, but Keqing believes she knows them — the kind of person they truly are — almost as if she’s witnessed them with their head thrown back, shoulders shaking with laughter. She feels that she could catalogue the curve of their smile while differentiating it from the look they are currently giving her. Her throat closes as she acknowledges their statement with a nod. When a waitress passes them by cradling a platter of drinks, she snags a cup for herself.

The young girl – she hadn’t thought to ask her name, and by now it’s too late, isn’t it – continues on with a story about traveling out of Natlan for the first time in her lifetime, and how her friends and she reacted to Liyue’s majestic mountain ranges and emerald green grass fields. It’s exactly the sort of story she loves, but the warmth of her taller companion at her side is far too much.

A few minutes later, the young girl waves off into the crowd. “There’s my sister! It was an honor to speak to you both.” And then, she’s off and it’s just the two of them, standing in the middle of the chattering crowd, separate hands clenching lukewarm glasses with a strength just shy of shattering them.

But Keqing is a diplomat, above all else.

(Actually, she is her father’s “daughter”, above all else … someone with trembling hands and a softening heart that wants to wax poetics about the line of this stranger’s shoulders and the soft of their hair.)

She clears her throat. “Keqing.”

“Yves.” They glance down at their glass, swirling the liquid. “Has anyone ever mentioned that this drink is … repulsive?”

“No, not that I’m aware of.”

To her astonishment, they chuckle. “It seems that I’m the outlier, then.”

Her lips twitch into another smile — a more relaxed one. “It’s apparently a treasured specialty of Mondstadt's. And here I thought I was the only one here who isn’t fond of it.”

“That makes two outliers then. Lucky us.” Yves’ eyes crinkle at the ends. Their smile softens, and Keqing notices a hint of fangs jutting out in between their lips. Her hand sweats around the stem of her glass.

“Yes, well…” She falters, an urgent tingling in her chest. The smile she’d worn so gracefully suddenly falls slack. “I should — I should get going. My friends … they’re waiting for me someplace else.” Keqing stumbles as she steps away from the other, her heels caught on the ends of her too-long, too-extravagant dress. “I hope you continue to enjoy yourself.”

There’s a glimmer of something in their eyes, but they’re quick to mask it. They nod, and she nods back, coercing her expression into something cordial.

She then turns to leave, careful to avoid losing her sense of balance (again), when Yves says, “Keqing?”

She pauses, looking over her shoulder. “Yes?”

They smile. This time, the expression borders unfamiliar, tinged with a hint of emotion she has definitely felt, but can’t put a name to. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

[bitethedustfools]

New sagau idea?

This is my first time posting something on tumblr but I just wanna say that I'm getting tired of seeing the imposter! sagau au where the player/creator is so forgiving once they were declared innocent and not the imposter or something like that.

The eldritch one was good but kinda expecting to go to the dark territory. The yandere one is kinda okay but need more spicy with the creator personality. The one with letter is wholesome in a way but I'm a picky person and the player's personality is just not to my taste.

So uh, I'm just gonna drop some ideas to spice some new inspiration or something. Apologize if these aus/ideas already exist.

Indifferent god/player

You play the game to pass time, you don't even bother speaking, only staying silent the whole duration and maybe murmuring some dissapointing things on the characters when they don't reach your expectation. The characters designs are nice and maybe the personality but you don't give a damn about them. You probably don't read their story or voiceline or something. But anyway, whether they have sobs story or not, you already have enough and don't care as well.

Almost everything bore you and the only thing that keep you going is the curiousity for the ending so you tried to level up and give them the best artifacts so you can speed run or something.

Once you are inside the game, the first thing you do is sigh loudly.

You dont know who the hell is the creator they speak of that finally arrived in Teyvat cause your day is ruined from being approached by the characters who won't leave you alone. (You got that divine presence and distant looks in your eyes that made them tremble with realisation when in fact you're just annoyed with them, never giving them a single glance. "out of sight, out of mind")

You are the Watcher of Teyvat, the God of all Gods and you are finally descending to Teyvat which you create "lovingly" with your bare hands. (Not that you know about that)

Now the characters feeling towarda you can be varies. The characters may be feeling grateful because you helped them getting stronger which may lead to stronger devotion.

Your hurtful comments back in your previous world sometimes drove them insane which may lead them feeling desperate and insecure, ashamed and upset as well as letting their self confidence dwindled. Sometimes they questioned themselves why aren't they abandoned yet and why are they gifted with powerful artifacts instead? So lots misunderstandings here.

The Archons probably go crazy trying to figure out how to please you. Wanting to be by your side and show you how Teyvat came to be under their rule and after that. Use them however you wish, the rules of Teyvat bend to your will and all will act according to you. Maybe that's why their gnoses is in the form of chess pieces? For you to play and use with?

The Fatui harbingers probably have complicated feelings about you. But most probably are upset that you don't give a damn about them or glad that what they are doing doesn't offended you in the slightest and encouraging what they are doing because they thought you have no problem with what they are doing.

Can go yandere route I guess but none what the characters did will ever entered your eyes because you don't give a f*ck about them. Period. No feelings or heart to heart talk.

2) Introvert simping god/player

You are a Genshin Impact lover. You buy every merchandise possible and owned so many of their cosplay. You are probably the top 5 best genshin gamer and made some theories judging by what the game had shown you. No characters can escape your gushing as praises bullet out of your mouth. Nothing in the game could escape you cause you love them so much.

Unfortunately, as much as you love them from the roots of their hair to their fine shoes and the blackest and goodest of hearts, you don't want to be in their world.

Because you are an introvert and a simp! These combinations can't be good if you are to meet one of them!

The solution? Hide.

Needless to say, your ability to become one with the background unintentionally shut off your heavenly divine presence. You became the world's best hider, no Fatui could ever catch a glimpse of your shadow nor an Adeptus nor Archons. Always a game of mouse and cats yet theres no progress in catching the skittish mouse.

You refuse to meet them and can only look from a far. Staring with awe when they fought or walk or talk or whatever they do. It's like seeing an idol in a way.

In short, you're a stalker.

When they learn about how you look like, every place is not safe anymore. Everyone is looking for you, eager to meet you. But not you. By the power of cosplay, it's easy to avert meeting them.

And now, you are not the only world's best hider but the world's best at disguising themself as well.

3) Eldritch god/player

What if Teyvat is only one and the players is many? When you descend to Teyvat, some said you are tall, some said you are short and others said you are a male and another the opposite sex. They even said your hair was curly and black but the other refuted, saying yours was wavy and blonde.

Introducing you. A god who is all yet one individual. A god whose everything changes from one person to another's respectives. Sometimes the same person see you in a different appearance which confused many.

Your whole being is unpredictable, sometimes you're upset and then happy and then angry, all in the blink of a moment. even your accents changes, following the tongue of the one who is speaking currently.

Sometimes, when the feeling is getting intense, mostly anger, the face(s) morph into something horrible as if it couldn't decide which face(s) to take (or was it these players are feeling the same thing at once?) or what language to speak, resulting in gibberish words falling out your many mouth(s). Your eyes however are staring at the cause of your feelings, (enemy? the one that hurts you? experiment purpose?) All varieties of colours ranging from hazelnut to black.

The Archons are regal and full of divine aura, beautiful and something worthy to behold and worship.

But you are a different existence, leaning toward the dark and gory side than the Archons or the whole Teyvat.

But you are still a god, the God of all Gods.

Are you worthy to be loved and worshipped and to be behold?

Yes? No?

You're not you and you're also not them. Yet you are you and you are them.

Acceptance and violence, you have no problem to choose.

The feelings of the many you(s) are distorted and cannot be comprehend.

[nsfw-lone-wolf-nergiganos]

Sub! Zhongli X Chaotic Gore Magala Archon Dom! Male Reader Nsfw {Genshin Impact X Monster Hunter Crossover}

Warnings: anal penetration, daddy kinks, degrading kinks, mind corruption, neck biting, and overstimulation

"Moan louder for me, slut~," you said as you held Zhongli with your enormous wing arms while thrusting inside him hard. "Ahh, y-yes my d-dark a-angel~," Zhongli moaned as he sticked his tongue out. You smirked at him before biting his neck harshly, he moaned once again while arching his back. "Such a good slut for me~," you said as you tightened your grip on him.

The reason why Zhongli called you 'dark angel' is because you are a legendary Archon who everyone fears, however, you come off as friendly and helpful. The main reason why people fear you though is that half of your body is dark while the other is not. Your appearance gave you the nickname, "the Fallen Archon."

You also have the ability to corrupt those who inhales your scales, and Zhongli, who is your lover accidentally inhaled the scales. This causes him to be very submissive towards you, and you know what to do when he accidentally or purposely inhales your scales, and that is to f*ck him senselessly until he passes out and acts like he usual self as if nothing happened the day before.

"You're such a slut Zhongli, inhaling my scales just to get ruined by me~," you said while thrusting inside him harder. "Ahh, I can't help it, d-daddy, mmmmm~," he moaned while drooling in pleasure. You then bit his neck harshly once again before hearing him moan even louder.

You continued to pound him as he slowly began to lose consciousness, and after a few minutes, he eventually did. He didn't gave you enough time to cum inside him though, but at least he got what he wanted, hahaha.

(Time skip)

"Mmm, Y/N, what happened yesterday?" Zhongli asked while waking up, you laughed a bit while playing with his hair, "oh nothing, just me f*cking you like always~," you teased. "Hmph," Zhongli pouted before crossing his arms. It's not your fault that he inhaled your scales and got horny.

[hyruleana-blog]

An idea for a SAGAU

Or it could be just an isekai? SAGAU’s been my comfort hobby for a while now (almost a whole year, yeah). I think it reflects very well that desire many people have of living an adventure in their favorite fantasy world with the characters they love, and that’s why Y/N / Reader is most of the time a big, knowledgeable fan of Genshin Impact, but what about the people who don’t play or even know of this game? Someone like that being transmigrated to the Teyvat has potential for both comedy and angst, I don’t think I have seen many stories of this type.

But let’s be fair and make it 50-50: Could be a story about a huge Genshin player who knows everthing about the story, the characters and is also pretty good at playing it; they have a friend who doesn’t give a f*ck about it and has no clue what it’s about, then one day said friend gets transported to Teyvat, and their family and friends in this world freak out when they go missing, but the player discovers their friend has become a playable character in the game, thus they are the one who guides them throughout the story and this dangerous, beautiful magical world. 

An if you want to throw a little bit of SAGAU creator on top, the characters might believe the transported friend is an envoy from the Creator,  then be amazed/jealous that their beloved deity is this outlander’s friend.

If anyone is interested in making a whole story of this, even if it’s short, please let me know cause I will 101% read it.

[coffeetheactualjellii]

Hello! Wellcome to my blog, here's my rule's for re-quests and interaction!

Material list: :33 -> ♡♡♡♡

Quick Intro!!

Hello, I am CoffeeJelli or Coffeeinnit call me what ever you like, I am Non-binary my preference fluctuates from time to time, I am Also Abrosexual, turning 22 this year.

A quick Tw if you request:

I am unfinged Asf and will Curse so if you dont want DNI

This is a Safe LGBTQIA+ Space, Homophobes, Transphobes, Racists

DO NOT INTERACT

I WILL NOT WRITE FOR MORI F*CK THAT MF

Who i write for:

Non-binary , GenderNeutral , FTM , MTF , Female ,Male,

What fandom i will write for: Genshin Impact, Jujutsu Kaisen, Bungu Stray Dogs, Heaven Official blessing [Tian Guan Ci Fu], Love in Deep space,Moriarty the patriot

!!Fandom Rules!!

Genshin: I will write for anyone but Fem Char x Male reader, Child x Adult is Not alowed unless its platonic.

Jujutsu Kaisen: I write anyone, no NSFW request will be done for the students (example Yuji, Megimi unless the students are of age!!)

Bungu Stray Dogs: Suicidal topics are ok to request but make sure you add that your ok in the request or am not doing it sorry.

Heaven Officials Blessing [Tian Guan Ci Fu]: I will write Fannon ships like Beafleaf but i would not write a ship without Xie Lian and Hua Cheng Together they should be Together in a ship even if its a Polly ship.

Love in Deep Space: I will mosty write x male reader for them because I NEED ANGST for them and I think I can make it work. Fem readers will be acepted depending on my mood (sorry girlies)

Moriarty the patriot: This fandom is mostly tame so i dont have much concerns about the ships here. JAMES IS TRANS GO SEARCH IT UP. I will not write a she/her James 😡

Headcannon/Fanfic Rules:

NSFW -> will do for all fandoms But the character needs to be 18+ it needs to be confirmed/Cannon or have the looks and mentality of a adult like Sigma, Characters like Mika is Not allowed, Kinks can be requested but keep those sanitary i dont would not write Stepcest or Incest, Piss kink and footfetishes.

PLEASE GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE IF YOU REQUEST THAT.

Fluff -> I would love to write your favorite character♡♡.

Angst -> Give me the most heart wrenching, gut punching, lung stopping requests you can give me.

Crack -> I love to write silly stuff bring them in!

Character x Character

Keep it Legal guys

(Platonic/Romantic) (I will do hetero ships but make sure its not random i want it to be like Itto and Sara ok? Or i will not do Hetero/Straight Ships.

Character x Reader x Chatacter

Keep it legal yet again, I will not write any Fem!c x Mreader x Fem!c

(Romantic /Platonic)

(Update!!)

Character x Character x Character

Please make your request make sense though that will also depend if i am biased lol. Example

Kunikida x Chuuya x Dazai

Heizou x Kazuha x Wanderer

‼Extra note KEEP IT LEGAL‼

[luckykdp7]

Genshin Impact Rage: Yelan Wish Banner

don't know how to explain this any better but

Less than 2 days as of posting this and after failed pulls on previous banners!

If I cannot get Yelan when her Banner ends this time after multiple banner fails previously… then this https://youtu.be/_NOad2QWSSU?si=fMc8zh1bKauA-Q-Y I'm probably Giving up! After losing my pity or 50/50 for her to Jean in one of her previous banners… I may as well just shoot that upcoming 5 star Natlan character instead OR BETTER YET F-CKING RAGE QUIT Entirely on this game! like I said before: F-CK THIS GAME TO HELL!!! for its swindling GACHA!! I may as well be glad that this game is likely banned in certain places/countries for promoting gambling…

Don't get caught up in microtransactions or Gacha… Not all of us are Hardcore gamers, some are casual gamers who are far more susceptible to this mistake.

But then again, I heard that gaming may as well be better if you didn't buy for these kinds of things to a point where the company realize that it's bad and they then close the doors on them….

[pocarinapyon]

[🤪] Overpowered Reader Giving Nicknames to Genshin Boys

Reader is isekai'd to Genshin Impact (Teyvat) and realize they're overpowered as f*ck.

As a big fan crushing on the boys, they brand them cute/weird nicknames. Because why not? It's not like the boys could kill you if you give them silly tags!

** Reader does not have a romantic relationship with the boys

Starring : Aether, Albedo, Albedo (Primordial), Arataki Itto, Baizhu, Bennett, Childe, Chongyun, Diluc, Gorou, Kaeya, Kamisato Ayato, Razor, Scaramouche, Shikanoin Heizou, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli

Warning : 🤪 crack (I think); random nicknames; reader being a bully (Diluc receives most of the bullying); reader implying they know the characters well to the point the character gets curious/suspicious; implied that some words or implication of words don’t exist in Teyvat yet (ex: bae, sugarbaby, etc.); trashtalk; shit tons of littered references (too many to list – if you know, you know); pinch of cringy pick-up lines and suggestive content; etc.

Also, my bias is showing here, lol!

Links : Masterlist

Content format:

[Guy Name]

-> [nickname] - [guy's reaction and interaction with him]

Target audience is gender neutral.

To whoever is reading, I hope you enjoy as much as I did!

----------------------------------------

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AETHER

-> Eater - *Paimon: It’s pronounced as ee-ther, not eeter!* *you explain you decided to call Aether as EATer because he likes food a lot* *You: Although who doesn’t like food, right?* ��I guess you thought that way because you always see me with my emergency food.” *Paimon: Hey!!*

-> Master Chef - “Master Chef…” * You: Yes! Oh great Master Chef, please bless me and Paimon with your delicious food! I have much ingredients.* *Paimon: Oh! I’m excited! [Your name], Paimon guarantees the food will be delicious!* “What kind of dish did you guys have in mind?” *Paimon: Paimon is thinking %!*

-> Sora – “😕? But…I am Sora.” *you explain about a Keyblade-wielding boy named Sora who ventured across different worlds to search for his friends* “Oh… I see… I hope he was able to find his friends.” *You: He did! Although that’s another story – and a lengthy one at that. As in seriously lengthy…and it’s all canon…with a bunch of twists and backstories… Anyway, I hope you find your sister too.* “Thank you.”

Note : In Japanese, Aether is called “Sora” by Lumine (Hotaru).

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ALBEDO

-> Albaby - “Albaby? That's quite an affectionate name, isn't it?” * You: Do you like it?* “I think I would prefer to be called just Albedo.” * You: Okay. If you say so, Just Albedo.*

-> Bae - “Hmn... Bae? It's alright. I think it's better than Albaby.” *You: Really?* “Yes.” * You: (Lol, success! Albedo doesn't know what Bae means!)*

-> Boyfriend – “Oh dear. It would surely cause an uproar if people heard you calling me boyfriend.” * You: But since it’s just us in Dragonspine, there won’t be an uproar. Right, boyfriend?* *Klee: Wow! Mister Albedo has a sweetheart?!* *Klee looks back and forth at you and Albedo with googly eyes* *You: Hi, Klee!! 🤩😍! Yes, I am Albedo’s sweetheart.*

-> Geoculus - “Why would you call me a geoculus?” *you explain that is because he is a Geo Vision wielder and a synthetic human* “😳... So, you are aware of my homuncular nature... Fascinating… I'm curious. May I know how you learned of it? Were you able to observe it?” *You: I'll tell you if you kiss me.*

-> Jekyll - “It is a rather decent name (even coming from you). Is there any specific reason why you want to call me Jekyll?” *you explain the story of Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde; Jekyll is Albedo and Hyde is Primordial Albedo* “So even that information did not escape you. 🤔... Are you perhaps a clairvoyant? Or perhaps you are like the traveler? But I still wonder how you learned all these information.” * You: Look, Jekyll. I’m not gonna give you answers for free. And it's gonna cost more than a kiss if you want to know.*

-> My Prince - “Hmn... One of the titles I have received is Kreideprinz, as in Chalk Prince. However to use a possessive pronoun – oh. You don’t seem to be listening.” *just stares at Albedo* * You: I love you, My Prince.*

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ALBEDO (PRIMORDIAL)

-> Black Frost – “😐? Aren’t you supposed to give me a name?” *You: Yes. Black Frost is a name.* “Doesn’t sound like a name to me.” *You: It is! He’s actually pretty cute! Violet hat. Red eyes. Wide toothy smile.* *Primordial Albedo is not convinced Black Frost is a name* *You: Wait, let me try to draw him for you…*

-> Hyde – “I am not interested in any more names.” * You: But isn’t being Hyde better than pretending to be someone named Albedo? Imagine having your own identity. Your own self. Something that belongs to only you.* “…” * You: A different life from Albedo’s. Maybe even a better one!* “…” *You: What do you think, Hyde?* “Hyde, huh…”

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ARATAKI ITTO

-> Abs – “I know my abs are showing but do you really have to call me abs?” *You: Can I touch them, though?* “Sure! You won’t find abs as beautiful as this, [your name]. I’m giving you a special privilege to touch them just once.”

-> Bear/Cuddly Bear/Teddy Bear - “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Those aint cool names! Okay, maybe Bear is okay but the rest are just naaah! I’m a gangster. You can’t call me something so lame. I mean, could you imagine a delinquent named Cuddly Bear or Teddy Bear?? Wait. On second thought, it doesn’t sound so bad after all. Huh… Uh-huh… Hmn… Nah. Never mind. So, any other names you wanna call me?”

-> Champ - “Champ? I don’t want to boast or anything but we already know I’m a champion. Sounds cool but nah.”

-> Geoni/Geovanni - “Yeah, baby! Now that’s what I call a real cool name! Geoni. Awesome! I like it! Fitting for the one and oni Arataki numero uno Itto! I’m gonna tell the gang to start calling me Geoni from now on. Thanks, [your name]!” *hopefully he gets the idea why you decided to call him Geoni/Geovanni*

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BAIZHU

-> Abs – “Abs?” *You: Abs.* *Baizhu looks at his abdomen* “Abs?” *You: Abs.*

-> Cocomilk Dispenser - “Why do you keep calling me Cocomilk dispenser?” *Qiqi picks up the nickname and calls Baizhu Cocomilk Dispenser* “Ah.”

-> Huang/Swindler/Won - “Haha. Swindler is a strong word, isn't it?” *Changsheng: I don’t know. It sounds good to me.* *You: Is Huang or Won okay?* “Only if you tell me why you want to call me those.” *you explain about Huang/Won of Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon* “I am not a swindler.” * You: How about borderline swindler? … Semi-swindler? … Swin? Dler? Indl?*

-> Plantito - “I don't know what it means but I'm guessing it has something to do with plants?” *you explain platito means a person who loves (to take care of) plants* “Ah, I see. I was right! 😊! I am a doctor after all, so it’s only natural for me to love plants…especially if they are useful.”

-> Sakata Kintoki – “You know, this nickname-branding of yours is going to cost you. How does five million Mora sound?” *You: Fine! I won’t call you any more names. Can you at least say, “Bear howling! Golden drive!!” 😎 With the growl and all?*

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BENNETT

-> Best Boy – “Best boy?? W – why am I a best boy?? No, sorry! I’m not mad or anything. I’m really just surprised. And happy! Why would you call me best boy?” *You: Because of your Fantastic Voyage.*

-> Cracked Mirror/No-leaf Clover/Spilled Salt/Unlucky Cat – “Sigh… I know my luck is terrible but I don’t think I deserve these horrible nicknames…🥺😢” * You: Sorry, Bennett! I take everything back!*

-> Cutie – “Y – you think I’m a cutie?! S – seriously??! Ah – oh, sorry. Again, I’m not mad. It’s just no one has ever called me cute before. Uhm… Thank you. 😀” *You: You’re welcome, cutie patootie.* “E – ehehe… 😊!”

-> Passionate Adventurer – “Wow! I like the sound of it! Thank you!” *You: It suits you well, doesn’t it? 😁*

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CHILDE

-> All-purpose Cleaner - “Huh? Haha! That's a long alias compared to Childe, isn't it?” *you explain about Ajax All-purpose Detergent/Cleaner* “🤔… Huh... So you know my real name... This is interesting. I wonder how did you know about my real name? Are you spying on me so you could kill me?” *you just say you learned his name somewhere and you call him all-purpose cleaner because he is good at killing, like how Ajax kills 99.9% of germs* “You haven't answered how you got my real name, though.” *You: Look, Ajax. All you need to know is I scoured it for our marriage contract. If I wanted to kill you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now, would we?*

-> Onii-chan/Big brother - “Haha! I do give a big brother vibe, don't I? That's because I came from a big family and I do have younger siblings too!” *proceeds to getting behind-the-scenes information about Childe's family*

-> Blue/Gary Oak – “Who’s Gary Oak? And Blue… Is it because of my blue eyes?” *You: That. And-* *you explain that his pose reminds you of someone named Blue/Gary Oak (Pokemon 1st Gen battle sprite)* “Huh... Who exactly is he and where is he from?” *You: Wait!! Are you jealous??*

-> Daddy/Hydro Daddy – “Come on. I can’t be your daddy if you can’t be my sugarbaby. So how about it? Be my sugarbaby?” *You: Lol! Daddy, wanna be your sugarbaby~! 😍! … 😳! Wait – do you even know what sugarbaby means?* *Childe smiles at you because apparently you already mentioned the word sugarbaby way back*

-> Mister Worldwide – “Mister Worldwide?” *you decided to go against explaining about his banners/talent mats/etc.; instead you explain that he goes around Teyvat because of his job as Fatui* “That's true, I do travel a lot, yeah. Do you want to come with me next time, comrade?” *You: OMG! Does that mean a date?!*

-> Turtlelinnie - “Aw~ that's actually a pretty cute alias!” *you explain that you call him turtle because he can't keep up with you during spar sessions or fights* “Heh! Just you wait, comrade! I'm going to defeat you then I'll call you Turtlelinnie or Slowpokie.” *You: You giving me a nickname?? Can I lose on purpose?*

------------------------------

CHONGYUN

-> Chong-Chong/Chonkie/Chungus – “Those are…cute nicknames, don’t you think?” *You: You don’t like it, Chong-Chong?* “It’s okay. Sorry, it’s just…embarrassing. Ah, ahem!” *Chongyun skittishly takes out his ice-cream and eats it* *You: Maybe I should let Xingqiu, Hu Tao, and the others in on your cute new aliases.* “No! Please, no!”

-> Jack Frost – “Ah. I don’t mind. Although where did you get the name Jack Frost?” *you talk about Jack Frost* *You: He’s a pretty handsome guy and his abilities are sort of like yours! Except he’s not as strong as you. Because, you know…you wield a broad sword. Meanwhile, he uses a staff.* “Oh. Okay. He sounds like an interesting guy. Now that I know about him, he won’t disappear, right?” *You: Yeah… But it’s not enough to just know him. You have to believe in him too.*

-> Mister Ice-cream Man – “That’s a long nickname, though. Wouldn’t it be better to just call me Chongyun?” *You: Fine. Let’s give you a short name. Hmn… How about… Baskin-Robbins? Ben & Jerry’s? Binggrae? Cold Stone? Haagen-Dazs? Koibito’s? Meiji? Nestle? Peters? %* “Huh???”

------------------------------

DILUC

-> Batman – “Do I look like a bat to you?” *You: No. Hehe…* *in a hushed tone, you explain who Batman is* *Diluc is surprised you know what he does as Darknight Hero* *You: If it makes you uncomfortable, Imma skip to the next alias.*

-> Daddy/Pyro Daddy – “Sigh... Could you please not call me that?” *You: What're you gonna do if I keep calling you Pyro Daddy? Burn me to a crisp, Daddy?* “🙄… (Control yourself, Diluc. Control yourself.)”

-> Diwuc – “Sounds like something a child would say... I'd rather be called by my name properly but in your case, Diwuc is fine.” *You: Yay, Diwuc 🤩😍!* “You had your fun. No more nicknames, [your name].” *You: No! I’m on a roll, Diwuc!*

-> Master❤ – “Why does it sound odd when you call me master?” *You: What's the matter, Master❤? Is there anything I can do to please you, Master❤?* “Yes. For starters, stop calling me master.”

-> Wookie/Wuc/Wuckie - “🙄...” *You: What? You said I can call you Diwuc! It's some sort of a nickname for a nickname.* “Stop branding me weird names, otherwise the townsfolk might pick it up.” *Venti: Master Wookie, one Dandelion Wine, please!* *Kaeya: One Death After Noon for me, Master Wuc.* *you, Kaeya, and Venti grin slyly at Diluc* “Sigh……😑! I hope you two get a weird nickname from [your name] too.” *You: On it, Master Wuckie!*

------------------------------

GOROU

-> Abs – “Eh?” *You: Yes, Abs. Can I touch them, though?* “You – you want to touch my abdomen…?” *You: Yes. Are they sensitive?* “U – uhm… Sort…of…?” *Gorou turns around to search for Kokomi’s directives about the situation he’s in* *you hug Gorou from behind, sliding your hands on his sides to his abdomen* “Eeeeh?! 😖⁉”

-> Brownie – “Because of my hair colour?” *You: Yeah. It’s simpler to name our pets based on their color.* “I’m not a pet.” *You: But can I pet you, though?* “No.”

-> Doge/Geodog/Geodoge – “Eh…” *Gorou is not used to people directly calling him a dog*

-> Good Boy – “Ahem! Please don’t call me that in front of the troops.” *without warning, you pet his head and scratch his ears* “I – I – I – yes…! 🐶” *You: Who’s a good boy?* “I – I am~! To the left, please. To the – yeah, that hits the spot! ❤”

-> Miss Hina – “😱😱😱⁉ W – w – w – why would you call me M – Miss Hina?” *Gorou croaks* *You: Hehehe~ No reason.*

------------------------------

KAEYA

-> Captain Tiddy/Delicious – “My oh my. How vulgar of you, [your name]. I noticed you’ve been peeking at my chest and I let it slide. But to think you would actually call me Captain Tiddy or Delicious? Tsk, tsk, tsk… That’s going too far, don’t you think?” *You: Kaeya, I can’t help but look! Your tiddies are just there! Plus they’re so attractive to look at!* “So are you, but I don’t call you weird names, no? Or do you want me to call you attractive or gorgeous?” *Venti: Smooth!* *Diluc: 🙄* *You: Huh? 😳?*

-> Daddy/Cryo Daddy – “Ah, I think I heard you call Diluc Pyro Daddy. Do you still call him that?” *You: Sometimes. He prefers to be called Diwuc so that’s what I usually use.* “And what other names did you want to call him?” *You: Well, there’s %* *wait…did Kaeya just change the topic??? Bamboozled! 🤯*

-> Kaeyanriah – “Ho…? That’s an odd alias. What made you think of that nickname?” *You: Because –* *Kaeya observes you with a piercing gaze* *You: U – uhm – uhm…! Your name sounds…like…Khaenri’ah…* *Kaeya smiles at you* “Oh, I see. 🙂” *You: Scary…* “Ahaha…! Am I?”

-> Prince – “Hmn…” *You: No reason other than everyone thinks you’re prince charming!* “Do you think so too, [your name]?” *You: Well… Yeah.* “Haha~ That’s good to know. 😉”

------------------------------

KAMISATO AYATO

-> Daddy/Hydro Daddy – “Oya? That’s not a good alias to use, especially in public.” *You: So, it’s okay to use in private quarters, right? Like maybe when we’re alone in your office…? Or in your room…? 😏* “Or perhaps in your room.” *You: GASP!* “–should I decide to visit you, of course.” *You: Y – you…! Take responsibility of my beating heart!*

-> Kamacho – “Kamacho?” *You: Hai. Kamatte choudai. 😟… You’re always busy so whenever I want your attention, I’ll call you Kamacho.* “Well, you certainly have my attention now, [your name].”

-> Milk Tea Buddy – “I assume you like milk tea as well. Unfortunately, I do not have the leisure of enjoying milk tea with you today.” *You: I’ll tell Thoma you asked him to buy you two bobas so we can drink together.* “Hehe. Go ahead. Oh, and make sure Thoma buys a boba with this recipe for himself. I’m sure he misses the taste.”

-> Scientist – “Oya?” *shows a wide variety of ingredients* *You: Mister Scientist, I know you’re busy but… Wanna feed Thoma? You choose the ingredients; I cook for you. How does that sound?* “Ahaha~ a wonderful idea! I should really let Thoma know I appreciate his hard work. Alright, let’s give him–” *you and Ayato never saw Thoma after he ate the love-filled dish*

------------------------------

RAZOR

-> Awoo/Woo – “Ah? That’s not how to howl. I’ll teach you.” *Razor teaches you how to howl* *give free nickname, receive howl*

-> Wolfboy – “Yes. I am wolfboy.” *You: Yes. Wolfboy. Good wolfboy.* *you pat Razor’s head*

-> Zero – “Zero?” *You: Yup. You remind me of someone named Zero Zephyrum. Long gray hair. Broad sword.* “Okay.”

------------------------------

SCARAMOUCHE

-> Daddy/Electro Daddy – “Hmph! Insolent! You have no respect. Do you think you can casually call me any nickname that pleases you?” *You: Why not? It’s not like you’re life threatening or something – ahh!* *you evade Scaramouche’s attacks* *You: See? Not life threatening at all. Daddy, please be gentler with me.*

-> Moosh/Mouche-shroom/Shroom - “You're really picking a fight, huh??” *You: Aw... Is Mouche-shroom mad?*

-> Mounche-kin (as in incorporating munchkin to mouche) - “You aren't even that tall!”

-> Scary-mouche (when Scara is mad) - “Call me that one more time and I will kill you!” *You: Since you asked nicely... Okay, Scarymouche.*

-> Sushi - “Can’t your brain think of anything but food??” *you explain that you decided to call him Sushi because (from Kunikuzushi) he is bite-sized like a sushi* “Just die already!!”

------------------------------

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

-> Blue – “Blue?” *You: Blue’s Clues.* “O…kay…?”

-> Archie/Conan Edogawa/Doctor/Scooby Doo/Sherlock Holmes/Shinichi Kudo – “Those are entirely different names you’re giving me. Why are you calling me these names?” *You: It’s a new mystery, Scooby!* “Oh! It’s because they’re all detectives too, isn’t it?” *You: Damn, too elementary for you. Could you try saying, “You can’t hide the truth from me?”*

-> Jin Kaien – “Alright. Now who’s this Jin Kaien?” *You: Hmm… Meh. Your appearance just reminds me of him. And your fighting style……*

------------------------------

THOMA

-> Househusband/Male Housewife – “Mind you that cleaning and household chores are very important too! They’re no simple task and I do them proudly everyday.” *You: Which is why you’re a fitting househusband, Thoma. I bet your spouse will be very lucky to marry you.* “Relax. I’m not planning on settling down soon. So you have to wait before calling me househusband or male housewife.” *You: As in… My househusband or male housewife?! 😍❤*

-> Pyro Daddy Number Two – “Who’s Pyro Daddy Number One?” *You: Do you want to be my number one?*

-> Thomato – “Hahaha! Let me guess: It’s because of my Pyro Vision, isn’t it? Or because I love to cook? Or you really just like tomatoes?” *You: All of those. Also–* *you explain that you sometimes ship him with Ayato thus Thoma-to* “Huh?! Why would you link us together in a romantic way? We’re both guys, [your name].” *Ayato: Why is there a commotion?* *You: I told Thoma I’d call him Thomato because I link you two together. He doesn’t like it at all.* *Ayato: Oya? You don’t want to be linked to me, Thoma?* “My Lord, it’s not that I dislike it. It’s just that [your name] is linking me to you in a romantic way.” *Ayato: And do you think being romantically involved with me is unlikeable?* “N – no, of course not, My Lord! 😳! I mean…!” *Defeated Thoma looks at smiling Ayato and you* “You two are ganging up on mee.” *You: Fine! If you don’t like it then Thoma-to is now Thoma-tto for Thoma and Itto!*

------------------------------

VENTI

-> Catnip – *You: I’m gonna call you Catnip cuz I just know cats love you.* *you see cats approaching from afar but you don’t tell Venti* “No! 😡! Anything but that! Ugh! Just the mere mention of their name triggers my allergies. IT must not be named. From now on, IT is a forbidden word. But I can’t do that because I’d be trampling over the people’s freedom of speech. Sigh! [your name], allergies are no joke! I kid you not! My allergies are so bad that I – ah – ah – ah – achoo! Achoo!! Achoo!!! ACHOO!!!” *You: Oh, crap, you weren’t kidding, huh??* *Venti clearly looks like he’s dying* *You: CRAP, I DON’T WANT TO BE A MURDERER! SHOO, CATS! SHOO!* *Panik* *you see Huffman approaching to investigate the ruckus* *You: QUICK, MISTER HUFFMAN! HELP ME SHOO THESE CATS AWAY NOW!! THE BARD IS DYING!!!* “AUGBLAKVG!! (Wheeze) 😭😭😭!!!”

-> Divine Fingers/Golden Fingers – *smiles slyly at Venti* *You: I bet you’re good with your fingers, Venti. 😏* “Ehe! Do you want to find out?” *You: Yeah. Can you use your skilled fingers for me please, Mister Divine Fingers? Oh~ I bet this experience is going to be the best. ♥* *Diluc: Not inside my bar. Out. Now.* *You: What?! Why?! I just wanted him to play the lyre. He’s a bard so it’s only natural that he’s good with his fingers, right~?* “I agree~! I wonder why Master Wookie is so worked up?” *Kaeya: You two would have to forgive him. He’s just stressing over work. Right, Master Wuc?* *You: Aw… Poor Master Wuckie.*

-> Garden Gnome – “Eh? Eh?? Garden Gnome?! What did I do to deserve that nickname?” *You: I just picked it up and it’s actually pretty cute.* *Diluc is smiling to himself*

-> Lord Barbatos – “Ooh! When, where and how did you decide to call me Lord Barbatos? I wanna know~” *You: You’re not really being subtle about your identity as the Archon, right?* “Eh~?” *You: Don’t “Eh” me!* “Eh ~ but not everyone is aware I’m the Anemo Archon.” *You: Yes, and I am part of the population that knows. So just drink your Dandelion Wine. Another glass for the bard – on me, please.* “Ehe~ Okay! If you say so~”

-> Balladeer Number Two – *drunk Venti downing his 48th drink* “Eeeehhh??? Who took my spot as the Number One Balladeer????” *You: Someone from the Fatui–* “FATUI?! Hic! Can’t believe they took my spot. That’s my spot! Hic! They took everything…! They even took my…Zzz…”

------------------------------

XIAO

-> An-emo Adeptus – “An…emo…?” *you explain what an emo is* *Xiao clicks his tongue and teleports out* *You: Sorry, Xiao! That was mean of me!*

-> Anemo Baby/Munchkin/Smol – *Xiao glares at you in disbelief* *You: Smol and cute Xiao. Please do the barrel test for me.* “Sigh… Why are we having this conversation again…?” *Exasperated Xiao takes another bite of his Almond Tofu*

-> Cat/Mew – “I don’t even want to know why you associate me with cats.” *You: It’s better than Pss-Pss-Pss, right?* *Xiao scoffs and teleports away* *You: Hahahaha! I’ll leave another Almond Tofu for you as peace offering.*

-> Kuze – “…” *you talk about how the Xiao’s karmic debt reminded you of Tattooed Priestess’ marks* *You: So, yeah. That’s who Reika Kuze is. I hope you get to be happy too.* “Mmh…” *Xiao ponders the idea*

------------------------------

XINGQIU

-> Bookworm – *Xingqiu doesn’t even react and just reads his book*

-> Chinchou – “Chinchou… Chinchou… I like it.” *You: And you’ll love it more because Chinchous are water-based creatures that also have electro abilities. They do tingle slightly because of this. Anyway, imagine having both hydro and electro abilities? They’re sort of a good combo for pranks, right?* “Ah, my liege! These creatures sound fascinating! I wish to learn more. But I have never read about them in any books. Would you tell me more?” *You: Sure~*

-> Femboy/Trap – “My liege, surely you could tell I am a boy?” *You: Yeah. Nah. At first glance I thought you were a girl. I swear at first I thought you were Chongyun’s girlfriend.* “Chongyun’s girlfriend…” *You: Yeah. … Your face… You wanna prank him or something?*

------------------------------

ZHONGLI

-> Daddy/Geo Daddy – “I deem nothing wrong with it. It is true. My age may certainly be around your father’s.” *You: Hehe~ So… I can keep calling you Daddy or Geo Daddy, right?* “If it pleases you, so be it.” *You: Okay, daddy~* *Zhongli keeps in mind to ask Childe what it means to be called Daddy or Geo Daddy*

-> Dong/Dong-li/Double Dong – “What is a dong?” *You: It’s a–…* *are you sure you want to teach Zhongli what dong means?* *You: You know… That resonating sound when you ring a big bell. Ding-dong…! That.* “Oh? Is there a reason why you chose that specific word?” *You: Because of your pillars! Your pillars resonate Geo energies, right? That!* *Zhongli adds another question to Childe*

-> Hatter – “Odd. I do not own nor wear a hat.” *You: Loves tea. Dressed in stylish clothing. Gentlemanly. Less the madness. Yep, definitely Hatter.* “I see. So this Hatter is someone whom you know and is similar to me. Perhaps if we met, we could both enjoy a cup of tea.”

-> Morax/Rex Lapis – “Hmn…?” *Zhongli watches you in a calculative manner* *You: Fine. I know you want to be human. I won’t call you by your Archon titles whatsoever.* “From whom did you learn I am the Geo Archon?” *Zhongli is serious* *You: Let’s discuss what could be exchanged for your desired answers.* *be prepared – you’re dealing with the god of contracts here!*

----------------------------------------

My personal favourite entries are Baizhu, Childe, Diluc, and Venti.

To whoever read this, thank you for your time. Here, have some chips. 🍟

Stay cheery, people!

Links : Masterlist

[un-beel-ievable]

Obey Me! Headcanons: The demon brothers play Genshin Impact 🎮

Author’s note: Please do not repost!! If you like my writing, please leave a like and a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)! Written during update 1.6 —before the release of Inazuma. No major spoilers for the Archon Quests. Inspiration hit at five in the morning, so I have returned from the dead to offer these headcanons to the word. I hope you enjoy them! xx (New!) Part 2: Obey Me! Headcanons: The minor characters (Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon and Solomon) play Genshin Impact 🎮

_____ Lucifer ☕:

• A F2P (free to play) player —or so be claims to be. Lucifer simply has too many resources for someone who plays as casually as he does; even Levi, —who has been diligently grinding for EXP books from ley lines on a daily basis—, rarely has more than a couple hundred Hero's Wit books in his inventory at any given time. So how is it possible that Lucifer has over a thousand of them sitting in his inventory? He has to be purchasing the Gnostic Hymn regularly. And don't even get me started on the number of Primogems he has saved. The eldest born claims that these impressive feats are merely the result of his diligence and self control, but there isn't a soul who truly believes him.

• Has (a C6) Ningguang as his main DPS. He has an immense amount of respect for the Liyue Qixing —especially the Tianquan. What can he say? An individual who's willing to put in the work and effort to achieve their goals is someone who's worthy of his time and attention

• Often leaves the game running in the background of his device while he works. He finds the atmosphere of the game to be rather relaxing, and listening to its soundtrack as he works helps to lift some of the weight that rests on his shoulders.

Mammon 💳:

• A massive whale. He basically spends enough money on the game to fund it in its entirety...or he would if Lucifer wasn't around to serve as his impulse control. Every new character banner that's added to the game ignites a fresh game of cat and mouse between Mammon and his older brother, with Mammon trying —and usually failing— to coerce Lucifer into giving Goldie back (or skipping the desperate pleas and puppy dog eyes altogether and simply attempting to "rescue" Goldie from Lucifer's clutches) while the first born does his best to keep Mammon from draining his bank account.

• A Childe/Tartaglia simp; a charismatic and charming young man who's rich and more than willing to play the role of a sugar daddy? Sign him the f*ck up.

• Unfortunately for Mammon, he failed to pull for his sugar daddy when his banner rolled around, (F in the chat to him and everyone who's lost the 50/50 to Mona —i.e. me) so he settles for being a Traveler main. He has a soft spot for both of the twins —he can't exactly put his finger on why, but they remind him of you.

Leviathan 🎮:

• Dedicates himself to Genshin Impact as if his life depends on it; it's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle choice. The most hardcore Genshin Impact player of the brothers. He purchases the Welkin Moon and Gnostic Chorus package monthly (...more or less. Levi purchases the packages whenever the ones from the previous month have expired/been completed. He calls it an investment for the future.) and logs in religiously to complete his dailies and claim his rewards.

• A faithful Barbara main; the deaconess is sweet and an absolute darling —and she has a certain charm to her that reminds Levi of Ruri-chan. He can’t say no to that, can he? Plus, Levi is a sucker for cute idols, even ones that are even more out of reach than usual (Barbara is, after all, a fictional idol in a fictional game.).

• Has awful gacha luck. How abysmal Levi’s luck is when pulling for characters on banners is remarkable really; of all the brothers, he has the worst gacha luck. Even Mammon has had better pulls than him —something which the second born gloats about endlessly. It irks Levi to no end. It’s not fair! He puts so much into the game —his time, his effort, his hard earned Grimm— and what does he get in return? Absolutely nothing! He’s never even managed to beat the 50/50 once.

• Has raged quit after failing to pull the five star he wanted (but continued to log in nonetheless, he still wants to collect his Primos).

Satan 📚:

• The plot moves a little too slowly for the liking of a demon who’s driven by the pursuit of information; Satan wants more of the story, and he wants it now. Having to wait for months on end for the Archon Quests to be updated is pure torture for Satan, and takes away some of the enjoyment that he derives from the games. It doesn’t stop him from following the plot, of course, —the storyline is objectively one that piques his interest, and he’s curious to find out what happens next— but it does keep him from selling his heart and soul to the game in the way that Levi has.

• The gameplay elements that don’t center around the plot is what intrigues him the most; Satan takes it upon himself to build the most efficient and effective team possible with the characters he has at his disposal. Oddly enough, while most players find farming for artifacts to be a grueling task, Satan actually enjoys the process —it’s such a mindless activity that it’s almost soothing for the Avatar of Wrath...up until before he hits the roof for receiving a godawful artifact, at least.

• The Avatar of Wrath has a healthy amount of respect for most of Genshin Impact’s characters, —characters who have caught his eye include Xingqiu and Kazuha— but Liyue’s Vigilant Yaksha is one of Satan’s favourite characters to date. He enjoyed playing through Xiao’s story quest immensely —especially since he was fortunate enough to receive the opportunity to experience the Lantern Rite event. Despite the fondness he has for the Adeptus, however, Satan is an Albedo main; he can get behind a character who has an appreciation for both the arts and the pursuit of knowledge.

• His Serenitea Pot is filled with cats.

Asmodeus 💋:

• The deciding factor that prompts him to pull for a character isn’t their stats, but their aesthetics. Character design is everything to this man; after all, he’s going to have to be staring at these characters for hours on end —why wouldn’t he pick someone he can’t help but lust over? Isn’t the point of playing a game to derive enjoyment from it? (“What a normie,” Levi scoffs. “It’s obvious you haven’t been playing enough. You’re supposed to suffer, everyone knows that.”)

• A Lisa main. The residential librarian of the Knights of Favonius is everything that he could ever ask for from a character —mature, intelligent and sexy all the way. Why wouldn’t he want to main her?

• Asmo’s builds are somewhat disastrous; once again, he values aesthetics over functionality. He’s more likely to give a character a weapon (and/or artifact set) that he thinks goes well with their character design than one that’s a better fit for their abilities. An artifact set that enhances the amount of physical damage a character can do may be useless for a catalyst user...but as long as its colour scheme contrasts the character he’s offering it to, Asmo couldn’t care less. It infuriates Levi and Satan.

Beelzebub 🍔: • A casual player. He supposes that the plot is alright, but it’s not necessarily something that piques his interest. The gameplay isn’t his style either. If Beel were entirely honest, he’d much rather be spending his time on a game that allows him to move his entire body; the demon is more inclined towards games like the Ring Fit Adventure —Genshin Impact is almost certainly something he got into to make either Levi or you happy. The good boy has one desire and that is to show his support for the interests of his loved ones.

• There is one thing that causes him to rethink his opinion of the game, however: the food. There’s such a wide array of it! The art that’s been rendered for each item of food is enough to make him drool even before he reads the description for it; everything looks so delicious that Beel is genuinely upset that he can’t visit Teyvat to try it all. Xiangling’s passion for all things edible is something he relates to wholeheartedly, and is the entire reason why he selects the petite girl to be his main DPS.

• Turns his puppy dog charm on Satan or Barbatos to convince them to try their hand at recreating some of the dishes from the game. Paimon’s endless rambling about how good the Sticky Honey Roast from Monstadt is is beginning to drive him a little insane; he’s dying to know if it’s as good as she claims it is.

Belphegor 🛏:

• Another casual player; Genshin Impact is preferable to games that require him to engage in some form of physical activity, but he’s not too bothered about the storyline, and the endless farming for artifacts and materials that he’s expected to engage in bores him to tears. It took him much longer than the average player to complete Mondstadt’s Archon Quest because it simply didn’t interest him, and despite having arrived in Liyue months ago, he hasn’t actually bothered to pick up on where the Archon Quest left off. He prefers wandering around Teyvat and taking in its picturesque view —why would he want to clobber a giant floating cube repeatedly or massacre a sentient plant when he could be watching the sunset from Qingyun peak?

• A Ganyu main. Belphie single-pulled her unintentionally during her banner, causing Levi to become so envious that he refused to speak with Belphie for a month. Ganyu is now Belphie’s go to character of choice for everything —regardless of whether or not she’s suited for the task.

• Also leaves Genshin Impact running in the background of his device so that he can soak in the game’s atmosphere; Qingyun Peak’s soundtrack is the perfect music for him to fall asleep too —it’s gentle melody is soothing (and something about it reminds him of happy moments spent with Lilith and Beel in the Celestial realm). Bonus: who do the minor characters main? [If enough of you are interested...perhaps I'll do a part 2 for the minor characters?]

Diavolo - Zhongli Barbatos - Noelle Simeon - Barbara Luke - Diona

[kokomis-gf]

❝Fanfics❞ -Kokomis-Gf

Love Thy Neighbor (Aren Kuboyasu)

|

| “God Said To Love Thy Neighbor,

| So I’m Here To Fuck The Shit Out

| Of You”

|

| You had met a boy who annoyed you | so much so no wonder you were

| shocked when you found out he’s

| your brothers friend.

|

| all credits to @ricebb88 on

| Wattpad for letting me make a new | and improved Fanfic of theirs

|

| CHAPTER ONE (1/2) |

|

|DISCONTINUED

Brooklyn Baby (Obey Me)

|

| “Yeah, My Boyfriends Pretty Cool.

| But He’s Not As Cool As Me”

|

| You Were Just Some Mere Human So | Why Do You Have Every Single

| Demon & Angel Wrapped Around Your | Nimble Finger. You’ve Slept With | All Them So, Why? Why Can’t You

| Sleep With Him. That’s The Answer | Lucifer Wants To Know

|

| COMING SOON |

Nobody (Zeke Yeager)

|

| “THE SCOUTS WILL COME BACK FOR ME

| I KNOW IT?!”

|

| The Marleyns Needed You So They

| Kidnapped You. You Had Thought

| The Scouts Would Come Back For

| You But Turns Out They Dont Need | You Anymore.

|

| all credits to @opposum on

| tiktok for letting me make this

| into a short book.

|

| COMING SOON |

F*cking Tease —Rick Sanchez

|

| “Oh My God Rick! I’m Not Jealous,

| I Already Told You Im Not Ready

| For A Relationship. You Can F*ck | Whoever You Like!”

|

|

|

|

|

|

|

|

|

|

|

| We Have The Same Style As Stacy

| And Tracia

|

| PROLOGUE |

The Princess Jewels —Genshin Impact

|

| “My Every Breath, Every Move,

| Every Fiber Of My Being…I Offer

| To You, Princess [Y/N] De

| Secramise.”

|

| Collecting 5 Beautiful “Jewels”

| Talented, Handsome Men From All

| Around To Help Reach Her Goal

| As Becoming The First Empress.

|

| All Credits To JYUN/Hong Cha On

| WEBTOON. You Should Definitely

| Read It The FL Is So Powerful.

|

|COMING SOON |

Elusions Of The Storm —Scaramouche

| “And Then When I Looked Into

| Your Eyes, Every Bards Love Song

| Was About You”

|

| Being Apart Of The Kamisato Clan

| Was Never Easy, Especially When

| You’re in Love With The Balladear,

| Scaramouche; Number 6 Of The Fatui Harbinger

|

| COMING SOON |

[smokeybrand]

First Impact

I’m not a fan of the Gacha. Never have been. I hate the RNG in my AAA titles like that weird Ultimate team sh*t in my sports games or the skin lottery in shooter titles. I don’t mind paying for extra content if there’s value in my play through but I'm a solo runner. I love solo games. If you got a DLC addition, a dope skin for party characters, or a way to enhance the gameplay loop, or some overpowered weapon for sale, I'll consider that. The second you put these types of mechanics in a multiplayer game or force the player into supplementing the vanilla gameplay loop with paid unlocks, you done f*cked up. I absolutely hate that sh*t. It’s why i bailed on the NBA 2K franchise after 2018. I love hoop. I love that game. I love My Player. But f*ck all that noise, i got two years to win as many titles as i can before the servers crash? Fine. Why the f*ck does it take me eight months and years in-game to grind out to a ninety rating then? It doesn’t have to, of course, as long as i spend another hundred or so dollars in stat points. I know. I did the math. I paid that loot for probably three or four years because f*ck the grind. I can afford it so why not? An then the caps came. That type of sh*t is where you lose me. If you’re going to force me to pay for this game two or three times over, i better become a Basketball God. Nope. In some title, you can’t even reach level ninety-nine, let alone one hundred. It’s designed that way so you can buy temporary boosts to get you over that hump. Constantly with the temporary boots because f*ck the consumer, right? That type of sh*t is f*cked up. Genshin Impact has f*cked up.

If you’ve followed this blog long enough, then you know i play two Gacha games pretty religiously; Azur Lane and Fate/Grand Order. I play these games, not because they’re good, but because i genuinely love the respective franchises. I’ve written at length about my love for all things Fate and have a pretty substantial collection of love letters to the Iron Blood faction in Azur Lane. The former is everything i ever wanted out of the Fate series. It’s kind of a greatest hits of the entire Type-Moon stable and i dig that. The narratives therein are all very Nasu and, considering I've been on this tragedy train since it was just porn, I'm in for the long haul. It’s wild seeing how far this franchise has come. My love for Azur Lane is a bit more shallow. I just like the designs, particularly Prinz Eugen. She’s my Morded for the admittedly inferior series. That said, Azur Lane is a better gaming experience than FGO. Neither one is a real f*cking game but i have my reasons for staying and have definitely grown to love them, which is why i am so conflicted about Genshin.

Everything i love about FGO and Azur Lane, the reasons i keep coming back to those games even though i know they’re Gacha trash, i find in Genshin Impact. Like, i adore Fischl. I love her design and her play style. She’d be my Mordred if i actually played this thing. I’m a fan of the narrative delivered so far. Genshin is an actual, honest-to-god, good game. It champions an immersive world, one chock full of lore to buttress the grind, and had fantastic support. This thing plays like an open world, action RPG a la Tales, and I'm here for all that. Tales is probably my third favorite RPG franchise so this sh*t is right up my alley. The Gacha aspects were even borderline forgivable considering the free content available at the start. For all intents and purposes, this is how you develop a successful Gacha. This is how you walk that fine line between profitability and predatory. For a whole year, Genshin did that high wire act very well. After that anniversary, they definitely fell off the trapeze.

Genshin made two billion dollars in their first year, decided that was enough loot, and went full EA with their bullsh*t. What was once an attentive, interactive, executive community, has become the very worst of corporate shills. They’re erasing negative comments from forums and outright banning the most vocal of critics. miHoYo has decided to put that profit over the player base, the absolute opposite of their intent, a year ago. I was already on the fence about playing the thing because of it’s strong ties to the CCP but after this? Hard pass. These people have decided to just f*ck all of the players with sh*tty drops and insanely predatory mechanics during Genshin’s first anniversary event. An anniversary event in a Gacha game is a time of player appreciation. They cash you out with a bunch of premium currency and offer special skins or characters as a thank you to their fans for, you know, making them two billion dollars. miHoYo went in a different direction and tied all of that sh*t behind the worse RNG the game has seen so far. For players, this was the last straw and they are not only leaving, but review bombing the sh*t out of this game. It’s so bad, other Gacha titles are getting hit with Genshin hate shrapnel.

My beloved FGO has taken a hit because of this miHoYo f*ck up. People are leaving terrible ratings and then, in their comments, literally telling Genshin to f*ck off. miHoYo has released a rancid cloud of diarrhea in the pool and now every one is getting covered in sh*t. It’s wild to me because, as a game, Genshin is really good. I was so close to signing up because the quality was unheard of in Gacha. I watched a few playthroughs and the sh*t looked fun. It looked like a real game. There were fantastic production values and proper game mechanics. There were RPG elements and a forgiving grind to a certain cap. Now, the f*cking thing is broken, full of bugs, and eating player’s money in a near unresponsive roll; All things that started filtering in after the first six months. After that solid word of mouth started rolling around. After people bought into Genshin’s absurd quality. miHoYo hit everyone with the long con, bait-and-switch, only it did not go as smoothly as they wanted. The backlash has been insane and i think this might be the opening salvo to the fall of Genshin Impact.

Genshin Impact has a solid fan base in China who will support the f*ck out of it because of their fervent Nationalism and there are enough Genshin zealots worldwide to keep it in the top ten. Plus, sh*tty mechanics and slipping quality aside, it’s still a pretty solid f*cking game. That said, a lot more people have been pissed about Genshin for a lot longer than the current misstep and that vitriol is spilling out into the pubic eye for the first time. miHoYo has kind of sensed this and given the players apology bundles but that doesn’t matter. I think at least here in the States, outside of the die hard Genshin coomers, people are kind of over this game. Like me, there were already a great many individuals out there who were hesitant with this title to begin with and, after this anni sh*t, we were proven correct. Genshin Impact is no different from the worst examples of these games. They are Battlefront II. They are NBA 2K. They are everything we suspected but hoped they wouldn’t be. I really wanted to like this game. I really wanted to lay it. If this was a proper AAA title, i would have. Sell this thing as a ten to twenty dollar outing, and I'm all in. But the greed of miHoYo has f*cked that up and, maybe, f*cked up the entire Gacha game. Time will tell.

[sparklingichigo]

It's Too Loud

Part 6

As soon as they're done eating, Solomon easily opens the portal to france but Belphie stops it immediately.

Belphie: I told you I'd come if I get a place to sleep!

Everyone turned quiet at the outburst of the 7th born. Well he did say that but they didn't take it literally.

Asmo: Uhm... I have an idea, why don't we just book a hotel around here and sleep there for now

Ichigo: That's actually a good idea

Solomon: Or a french hotel-

Asmo: Or save your magic and stay here :)

Reika: I swear if this is about Ganyu-

Solomon: It's not-

Speak of the devil, there she is! Ganyu is behind them with a friendly smile on her face.

Ganyu: You guys need a place to crash? I know a hotel near the temple!

Asmo: Really?

Ganyu: Yeah, I'll help you guys find it!

Solomon: Yep, french ho-

Ichigo and Reika: Solomon!!

Solomon: Okay, okay!

At the end, they end up in a hotel near the temple. At least for a place to rest for a while. Of course they all thanked Ganyu for all her help. Giving them a tour, giving them a hotel even paying for the room! Why is she so kind??

Asmo: Is there anything I can repay for you, my dear?

Ganyu: Well, I want access to devildom, so i can come visit you

Asmo: :) Granted

Satan: Asmo, you're not Lord Diavolo! You can't just give her access to his city! Are you nuts?!

Asmo: I never said staying :)

Satan: I'm losing my braincells, the book clearly states that any demon from the human world must visit legally and that includes checking her identity etc!

Asmo: I know! She has her identity already, why are you making such a fuss!

Solomon: Yo, Ice Queen, can you make a portal?

Ganyu: ... I think so?

Solomon: There you go, a solution for you. Use those portals and stop bribing my boyfriend!

Asmo: Solomon!

Ichigo and Reika: [sigh]

Beel: But at the meantime.... she's paying for the hotel rooms so... the least we could do is give her something in return....

Asmo: Yeah...

Ichigo: Well, if she already gains access to Devildom, she can come and taste my baked goods

Reika: Oh and come play genshin impact with Levi and I!

Satan: IF she gains her access to Devildom in the most legal way possible

Belphie: [laughs slightly] you sound like Lucifer...

Satan: Excuse me?!

Reika and Ichigo stare at each other. The two can detect the avatar of wrath's anger. His blood is boiling and the two might end up fighting in public! Nope! No can do!

Reika: Satan... honey....^^ I don't think he means it....

Ichigo: Oh yeah, totally not similar. You're using your logic and books while Lucifer would say it because Lord Diavolo says so...

Belphie without hesitation hides behind Beel and Ichigo. Despite being Satan's co-member of the anti-lucifer league he's also scared of him. He's not only the 4th most powerful demon (minus Diavolo and Barbatos), he's also the avatar of wrath. Which means his normal anger equals to super anger which also means...d e a t h.

Belphie: Use the pact, Ichigo! Use it!

Satan: I dare you to use the pact, you puny human!

Reika: Satan! Stop it!

Luckily, Reika's pact works on him, a neon green glow can be seen from her shoulder as Satan froze on the spot.

Satan: But-

Reika: Don't!

Belphie sighs in relief and so did everyone. They're lucky that Reika's main pact is Satan or else... yeah it won't end well.

Ganyu: Well, if that's all, I'll take my leave, see you guys around

Asmo: See you soon, Ganyu!! Love ya, sis!!

Ganyu: Love you too!!!

Solomon yet again scoffs at the comment. He ends up ranting again in the telepathic group chat

Solomon: Love ya sis, tch. If that b*tch ever appear again I may start learning some fire magic!

Ichigo: You did... that's your most powerful magic besides the barrier and the portal

Reika: Yeah...

Solomon: Good!

Ichigo: Please don't.... you're getting worse than Satan and Satan is quite reasonable!

Solomon: And I'm not?!

Ichigo: Yeah?!?! He literally called her S I S , which means Sister! That means he sees her just like his brothers, just like how he sees Me, just like how he sees Reika! Get that into your thick head, Solomon!

Back in real life, the demons who have no idea about the telepathic group chat stares at the three humans confusedly because they are glaring at each other, more like two humans glaring at Solomon but they're not saying anything.

Asmo: Did he do something in the groupchat again?

Ichigo: As always

Asmo: Is it his jealousy again, love?

Ichigo: Yeah, took it another-

Solomon: It's not^^ It's definitely not that, my love

Asmo: Sure~

Satan: Anyways~ can't we settle in already?! We've been in this sofa for literally 30 minutes!

Asmo: Patience, dear brother~^^ oh! Shall we choose our roommates too?

Satan: Well I'll probably ended up alone since Reika is with Ichigo. That goes without saying

Beel: You can crash in mine^^

Satan: ...That could work, just don't get your snack crumbs all over the sheets

Beel: I'll try^^ or you can sleep with Belphie

Belphie: No, the only people who are allowed in my bed are Ichigo and Beel, so back off! Oh and my cow pillow :)

Satan: I'll take the couch....

Beel: We'll take turns :D

Satan: deal!

Asmo: Well, Solomon and I are rooming together as always.

Reika: for our sanity, please don't f*ck again....

Ichigo: With Monsolo's condition, I doubt they'd

Suddenly she feels Belphie pulling her closer to him,

Belphie: [whispering] Angry sex exist though

Ichigo: Oh my Lord Diavolo-

Belphie: exactly....

Ichigo: ...this won't end well :(

Belphie: it never does :]