#getting all three of these to work together wasn't as easy as it originally seemed

[onlygenxhere]

20, 51, and 59 for juke <3

Luke and Julie were in the studio minding their own business just making out like two normal teenagers when Alex and Reggie threw open the studio doors.

“Ugh,” Alex groaned and called over his shoulder. “I regret to inform you the straights are at it again.”

“Hey!” He and Julie both protested as Willie came rolling in on his board behind Alex.

“I’m offended,” Julie said sliding off Luke’s lap and handing him one of the pillows next to them without a word. He grinned and casually put it in his lap where she’d been.

“Yeah me too!” he pointed at himself.

Alex rolled his eyes as he sat in the recliner and Willie plopped right down in his lap.

Reggie was already in the other chair grinning like a loon, watching the show.

Alex was distracted by his boyfriend so Willie was the one that asked. “And why are you two offended? You were the ones making out in a public space and I thought we’d decided that was against the rules.”

“Yeah, no,” Luke started, “we definitely owe the rule breaking jar a fiver.”

“We’re offended you called us straight.” Julie nodded at them.

“What?” Alex finally looked up. “You two aren’t straight?”

Luke rolled his eyes. “None of us are straight dude.”

Reggie raised his hand, “I’m straight.”

They all looked at him until he put his hand down.

“Sweetie, we’re not getting into that right now.” Julie reached over and patted Reg on the knee making him blush and jump up. “I thought we had practice today.” He headed over to his bass not making eye contact with anyone.

Everyone ignored Reggie. He’d figure it out when he was ready.

“So you two aren’t straight?” Willie asked.

“When did you figure that out?” Alex leaned forward wrapping his arms around Willie’s waist to hold him steady.

Julie shrugged, “I’ve known I was bi since I was twelve.”

Luke grinned at his girlfriend long enough for Alex to get impatient.

“Luke?”

“Oh, yeah sorry.” He turned back to Alex. “I think everyone is hot so I’ve been thinking I might be pan?” he glanced at Julie again who nodded encouragingly. “At least bi.” He looked back at Alex. “I mean you and I had that thing…”

Alex’s eyes bugged out and he hid his face in Willie’s back who started to howl with laughter, “How have I not heard about THIS!?”

Alex stood up with Willie in his arms and set him down gently on his feet kissing him quickly. “Like Reggie said, we have practice.” He darted off to his kit and started checking his snares for tuning.

Willie plopped back down in the chair. “Well someone is going to tell me that story sometime soon.”

Luke and Julie got up and as Julie headed for her keyboard Luke leaned down and whispered, “I’ll tell you tomorrow if he doesn’t tonight.”

Willie gave him a wink and a pat on the shoulder. “Thanks man.”

Band practice went great for about an hour and then Julie missed her queue to come in on Now or Never and then thirty minutes later she flubbed her piano playing on Edge of Great. When she messed up the words to Wake Up, which they’d modified to make it a whole band piece, Luke knew something was wrong.

“Hey, baby.” He set his guitar down as he looked over at Julie who was looking more tired and sweaty than the rest of them and she’d been sitting the last couple of hours. “Are you ok?”

She sighed and shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

They were all frowning at her as Reg reached over and put his hand on her forehead. “Oh no, she’s hot.” He looked over at Luke who was making his way over to her to check himself.

He pressed his lips to her forehead. His mom had always done that saying lips were a better judge of temperature. “Jules you’re burning up.”    

“Oh good,” She leaned against him, “Because I feel like shit.”

He chuckled. “Ok, band practice is over.” He scooped Julie up in his arms. “Everyone go drink like a gallon of orange juice.”

“What about you?” Reggie frowned as Luke turned to carry Julie up to the house.

“Dude,” Alex rolled his eyes. “Do you not remember what they were doing when we got here?”

“Oh…” Reggie nodded. “You’re screwed.”

Willie laughed from over on the sofa. “You need any help?” he asked standing up but keeping his distance.

Luke shook his head then paused. “Maybe text Ray and let him know what’s going on.” He glanced down at Julie who had her eyes closed and was leaning against his chest. “I’ll text my mom that I’m staying over here for a couple of days. I can’t afford to get either of them sick right now.”

The guys all nodded solemnly. They all knew his dad had just finished his first round of chemo for throat cancer a couple of weeks ago. Getting either of his parents sick right now would be… bad.

He got Julie up to her room and in her bed as quickly as possible. She was going downhill fast. Her teeth were chattering by the time he got back with some medicine to bring her fever down and a large glass of water.

He held her up, helped her take the pills and drink some of the water.

She looked up at him with glassy eyes as he laid her back down. “You’d marry me if I asked, right?”

“What?” he chuckled as he went to stand and she grabbed his hand tightly, tears filling her eyes.

“You’d marry me,” her voice broke, “if I asked… right?”

He had no idea where this was coming from and this wasn’t the time to ask. The answer was the same no matter the reason anyway.

Luke leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “Yes, I’d marry you if you asked.”

She grinned. “I thought so.”

He went to stand again and she held his hand tighter. “Stay?”

He’d already agreed to marry her so what would be the harm in staying.

Still, he got in the bed on her other side but stayed on top of the covers so as not to upset Ray when he got home.

Although by the time Ray got home a couple hours later he was shivering and feverish too. Ray got him some meds and reluctantly agreed he might as well stay with Julie who was sound asleep.

She didn’t remember asking him if he’d marry her once they were well but Luke wrote it down and told her the whole story when they were on their honeymoon five years later.

[primofate]

Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up

Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.

Disclaimer at the end of the post

Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha

Aether

Sister issues. Enough said.

He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.

Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.

Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?

"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

Consider supporting me to read some exclusive fics:

Ko-Fi

buymeacoffee

Here's the Masterlist

Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || They're Protective Over You [Mafia Edition]

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

CHAN:

Ever since Chan's driver had almost hit you with a car all those years ago there was someone with you, always. It didn't matter what you were doing, he was just with you constantly. It never really bothered you, if your husband wanted to make sure that you were protected then you were happy to take part in that, as long as it wasn't going too far.

"You know, she doesn't need a babysitter while I'm around," Kat said snarkily to the bald man who was walking beside you, holding his hand out in front of your body to prevent you from crossing the road. You looked at Kat and smirked a little, you knew Chan was just trying to look out for you but Kat saw it as him trying to dictate your every move and she was worried you were too blind to see it.

"Relax babes, it's just Chan's way of watching out for me." You whispered as the man you'd come to know as - Pike - gave you the all-clear to cross the road. Kat slipped her arm into yours and you began crossing together, you could tell this was playing on her mind a lot and you wanted her to express herself with you.

"Doesn't it make you feel like a child though? Having someone tell you when you can and can't cross the road?" Kat looked at you suspiciously and you smiled a little, you didn't like that he was there but you didn't hate it either. God, you'd tried to fight Chan on it but he was adamant that you needed Pike around to look out for you.

"Not a child. Besides, I'd gotten Chan down to only giving me one man instead of the five he originally wanted me to have," You laughed, looking at Pike who kept his eyes in front of him and not getting involved in your conversations.

"Five?! What would you need five men for!?" Kat laughed a little and Pike let out a low chuckle,

"To surround her in a circle and protect her from oncoming traffic." He teased, winking at you both before you both giggled and headed inside the store you'd come to.

MINHO:

Over the years you'd gotten used to Minho's little quirks, you knew your husband was a protective man and was always looking out for the best of you.

"All I'm saying is, I don't need an armed escort to the cat sanctuary every day," You told Minho at breakfast, the two of you were discussing what you could do to lessen the number of men that stood outside of your work place every day. If it was down to Minho you wouldn't be working there anymore but he wasn't going to stop you from doing something that you loved doing.

"What if someone comes in and tries to take you? Or one of the cats?" You stared at him and sighed, you knew that he was right but ten guards was a bit much.

"Okay, then how about we compromise." You suggested, lifting a strawberry to your lips and taking a bite out of it.

"Three guards," You suggested, trying to make this as an easy business deal for him to agree to but Minho looked at you and put a strawberry in his mouth.

"Five," He suggested, shrugging his shoulders at you.

"Three."  You smiled warmly but he just shook his head at you. There was no way he was going to put you at risk by leaving you alone. You knew he was a powerful man but you still didn't want the ten guards outside of your shop scaring everyone away.

"Nine." You stared at him as he told you his suggestion and you blinked completely stunned by him,

"This isn't how that's supposed to work, you're supposed to lower." You pouted at you and Minho resisted the urge to smirk at how cute it was to see you like this.

"Five. Final offer." Sighing you nodded your head, agreeing to it and shaking his hand as if this was a real business deal you'd done together.

"Fine."

CHANGBIN:

Changbin had never been clingy before in his life but there was just something about you, something that bought out that side of him and he rather enjoyed it. Ever since the two of you ha gotten married last month, it seemed he'd gotten clingier. 

"You know, I could walk in the garden alone." You giggled a little as Changbin walked by your side through the gardens of your home. The two of you lived in a huge mansion which meant the gardens were just as - if not more - as big and you could get lost.

"What if you fall and no one is there to watch out for you?"

"Binnie." You giggled, he despised anyone else using that nickname for him but hearing it come from your lips made his whole world shine brighter,

"I know I get a little protective but with good reason. Anything could happen out here," He gestured around you both and you arched an eyebrow at him. When the two of you first started dating one another he wouldn't let you out of his sight, he would walk you to and from the club every night and then a few months into dating you were living together. Not that you minded, you enjoyed having this side coming from him but you didn't want this to become tiring for him.

"I don't want anything to ever happen to you," He told you as you both stopped in front of the rose bushes that lined the property, you smiled and reached up running your hand across his cheek,

"Nothing will, I promise you." You whispered, kissing him quickly before pulling away. As soon as you were apart a twig snapped and you were suddenly on the ground with Changbin above you,

"Binnie..I think it was a rabbit, not a spy or anything." You told him when you saw the panicked expression on his face, he nodded a little.

"I'm getting you a guard," He mumbled before standing you both up and you agreed, knowing you could never change his mind.

HYUNJIN:

"What do you think you're doing?" Hyunjin quizzed as you walked into the living room attempting to put your earrings through your ear and looking out of the window.

"I'm running late for girls' night," You'd told him a million times what tonight was but it seemed he'd forgotten once again,

"I know that, but what are you wearing?" You looked down at your outfit and frowned, there was nothing wrong with what you were wearing. It covered your body and it wasn't anything extremely revealing - unlike what you used to wear on nights out.

"A dress?"

"Says who?" He quizzed and you resisted the urge to quote a film and sighed,

"Hyunjin, it covers everything." You told him as he shook his head at you it wasn't that he didn't trust you because he did, it was everyone else he didn't trust.

"But it's so tight, everyone will be watching you...Looking at you, looking at what belongs to me." He let out a low growl at the thought of it and you stared at him,

"No one will. They all know I'm yours and if they value living they'll keep their eyes on something else," He smirked a little as you told him that but it didn't put his mind at ease.

"I'll send someone and if anyone so much as looks at you for longer than ten seconds I'll take names and faces," He told you sternly and you nodded, you knew you weren't going to go out completely alone without someone there to watch over you.

"Sure, I'm going now." You turned away from him but you were quickly spun into his embrace and kissed roughly.

"Now you can go," He winks, making you giggle as you walk for the front door.

JISUNG:

Whenever it was storming outside Jisung cancelled everything he had going on, even if he was in the middle of a meeting, he would cancel and walk out without speaking to another soul about what he was doing.

"You can't keep doing this," You giggled as you watched your husband kick off his shoes and crawl into the bed with you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

"I can, I'm the boss." He reminded you, laughing as you cuddled closer to him. You weren't even THAT scared of thunderstorms but ever since your first meeting with your husband he'd been there for every single storm. It didn't matter what he was doing, if there was a storm he was racing home to you to make sure you were okay. It might have seemed silly to anyone from the outside looking in but this was Jisung's way of being protective over you, watching out for you to make sure you were cared for.

"You are, but you know a boss has responsibilities," You teased before you let out a loud yelp when the sudden crash of thunder made you jump. Your hands clutched onto his shirt and you hid your face in his neck, suddenly very thankful for him being right there with you calming you down with his breathing and small kisses on your skin.

FELIX:

"You're being ridiculous." You told Felix as you stood in the kitchen together, your new chef standing and cooking for you both as you glared at your husband. You couldn't believe he'd done this after you told him not to, it was a simple accident.

"I could have done that at any point, it was an accident. You didn't need to get a chef," You mumbled, smiling weakly at the chef who tipped his head at you. 

"You hurt yourself. So now, it won't happen again because I took you out of the kitchen," You rolled your eyes at him, you could hardly believe that he'd resorted to this,

"But you love my cooking." You reminded him and it was true, Felix adored everything you ever made him but if it came at the cost of you hurting yourself he was never going to let you in a kitchen again,

"I love you more." He whined making you roll your eyes, it was one tiny cut that you'd done it wasn't as though he knew about all of the other times you'd hurt yourself by accident.

"Felix, I won't seriously hurt myself. It was one tiny little cut-"

"And a burn, Don't think the maids haven't told me about the accidents that have happened when I'm not even here," You shot a look at the two maids who were quick to make themselves look busy and avoid your gaze.

"One day I'll get back in that kitchen," You warned him before he kissed your cheek, walking you into the living room where you could watch a movie while waiting for your food.

SEUNGMIN:

It wasn't that he was too protective but Seungmin wanted you to have privacy and if that meant emptying out a whole store just like his men had done the day he met you then he would gladly do that for you. But this was a bit far with his protectiveness, you never would have expected this.

"Seungmin, baby, don't you think this is going a step too far?" You quizzed as you stared around at the completely deserted mall and then over at your husband,

"No." He mumbled, running his hand over the small of your back, he'd planned this weeks ago when you mentioned wanting to go dress shopping for a charity event. The last thing he wanted was for someone else to see you in a jaw-dropping gown, instead, he wanted it to be a surprise.

"Seungmin, other people need to shop as well." You mumbled at him, there was no one around besides the workers in each of the shops and you could hardly believe that he'd done this.

"This is insane," You laughed listening to the way your voice echoed inside of the mall. It felt like something from a horror movie and Seungmin was enjoying the smile on your face,

"Let's go wherever you want, no one can disturb us." He told you as he took your hand in his and began to walk through the deserted mall together.

JEONGIN: 

As soon as news spread that there was a shooter inside of your hotel Jeongin wasted no time in getting to you. You'd tried to text him but were taken hostage by the crazy man wielding a gun around and you were starting to regret not taking Jeongin up on his offer for a security guard.

"I suggest you release my wife before you lose a hand," Jeongin said as he stared at you, tears were springing in your eyes as the metal of the gun was pressed harder against your temple.

"You better get out of my way if you want her to be alive," The man stuttered out, It was clear he was nervous about this and you knew Jeongin was going to play on that.

"If you were going to kill her you would have by now." Jeongin stared at you, studying your face to make sure you were truly okay and you smiled weakly at him, letting him know he hadn't hurt you yet. 

"GET AWAY!" The man screamed as Jeongin tried to step closer to you and he yanked you backwards, everything happened within a matter of seconds. One moment you were in the man's arms and the next you were on the floor with something warm over your face.

"What-"

"Thank you, boys," Jeongin said to two men who were standing above you, you recognised them as some of the new bell boys you'd hired a few months ago.

"How do you know them?" You stared at him and a smirk began to take over your husband's lips.

"Baby, they're your private security."

"You got me security," You grumbled as you let out a laugh, you should have known.

"Did you really think I would let the love of my life walk around without protection?" He scoffed, laughing a little as you hit against his chest watching as the two men began to clean up and you straightened yourself out.

"I need to comfort the guests, you can help." You told Jeongin sternly as you both got up.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin

[lilacmingi]

SECRET SANTA

All my works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works

Pairing: Fashion designer!Hongjoong x fashion designer!fem reader

Word count: 3,170

Note: Since December is starting soon I thought it would be the perfect time to start posting Christmas imagines from 2021. Since this imagine originated on Wattpad, there will not be any continuations

You sat at your station, your half-finished sketch left abandoned and forgotten, your eyes following Hongjoong as he made his way through the massive room, collecting different fabrics for his next masterpiece. The outfit he wore was flawless, as usual—he was flawless. His choppy mullet was tousled perfectly, he wore a black bleach-stained shirt; the collar had been cut, making it hang lower, showing off his beautifully sculpted collarbones and that adorable mole at the base of his neck. On top of the shirt was a leather jacket paired with ripped black jeans and chunky boots.

A pair of hands slammed onto your desk as a body blocked your view. Glancing up, you saw your coworker, Minghao, with a Santa hat in hand.

"Move." You waved your hand in a shooing gesture. "You're blocking the view."

"You can stop staring at Hongjoong long enough to put your name in the hat."

"What?"

"Put your name in the hat. It's for secret Santa."

"I'm not into the whole secret Santa thing."

"Come on. You get three gifts, one on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, plus we're having a big party to end the week."

You gave an indifferent hum in response.

"Hongjoong signed up for it." Minghao mentioned in a sing-song voice.

"If I put my name in the stupid hat, will you let me continue staring at him?"

"Of course."

You quickly scribble your name down on a small piece of paper, dropping it into the hat.

"Thank you." Minghao grinned, sauntering away.

Once he left, Hongjoong had already returned to his station, which wasn't a problem because you had a perfect view of him.

You'd always admired Hongjoong for his killer style and out-of-the-box ideas. You admit, you've only spoken to him a handful of times, so you don't know him that well, but every conversation you've shared with him has been a good one.

Later that day, the names in the hat were shuffled around and every employee drew a slip of paper from the hat. You unfolded your paper seeing the name Taehyung scrawled on it. You were familiar with Taehyung and knew he would be pretty easy to buy for. In fact, you already had a few things in mind.

"Alright." Your boss clasped his hands together. "Now that everyone has drawn a name, I'll go over the rules. Gifts will be given Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We have a ₩60,000 (about $50) limit on each gift. You don't have to spend that amount, but try not to go over if you can. The presents will be collected under the Christmas tree over here and distributed to everyone at the end of the work day. Sound good?"

Everyone nodded in understanding.

"Okay, good. Secret Santa starts in two weeks, so you've got time to shop. Have fun."

A couple weeks passed and you had purchased three gifts for Taehyung and had them all wrapped neatly. You carried gift number one into work with you, placing it underneath the tree before heading over to your station. You stopped when you saw a gift sitting on your desk. You picked up the small box, examining it.

You wondered why the gift was on your desk and not underneath the tree and why your secret Santa would put it there. Glancing around, you decided to go ahead and open it.

You pulled the paper back, revealing a small black box with a sticky note on the top that read: To Y/n. Upon removing the lid, you saw a beautiful pair of earrings and a matching necklace. Your eyes widened as you ran your fingers over the flashy jewelry. There was no way what you held in your hand was worth just ₩60,000. You glanced around the room again to see if anyone was watching, but everyone seemed to be busy doing their own thing.

You couldn't think of anyone that would buy you such an extravagant gift, let alone leave it on your desk.

With no answers to your many questions, you decided to just get to work. You had a few sketches you worked on in the past weeks and had started making a blouse. You headed over to the fabric wall and began picking out the ones you needed. Once you had all the materials at your station, you got to work.

The day seemed to pass by fairly quickly and before you knew it, your boss was handing out secret Santa presents. Since you already opened yours, you watched for Taehyung to get his. Once the present was placed on his desk, he started unwrapping it. His mouth dropped open when he pulled out canvases and a paint set equipped with brushes, an easel, and even a palette for the paint.

You tried to hold back your smile as you watched him pull out the small note you typed up.

You then turned your attention to Hongjoong who had just finished unwrapping his gift. It was some sort of sweater, which didn't seem to be his style. Your face twisted in slight distaste as you saw it. If it were you, you would have gotten him a more edgier-looking sweater, or even a beret. You've seen him wear them before and would assume he'd enjoy receiving one as a gift.

Everyone got ready to leave for the day, you decided to walk up and talk to Hongjoong.

"Hey." You greeted.

"Hi, Y/n."

Your heart melted when he said your name. It sounded so beautiful and melodic when it came from him.

"Nice sweater." You told him.

"Thanks. It's..." He trailed off, giving you a wary glance.

"Don't worry. I'm not your secret Santa." You assured him.

"Ah." He seemed relieved. "Well, it's honestly not my style, but I'm sure I'll find a way to dress it up." He smiled.

"I'm sure you will. You're extremely talented."

He let out a tiny chuckle, glancing at the floor for a moment. "Thank you. So, what did your secret Santa get you?"

"Jewelry. Expensive-looking jewelry too. They also left it on my desk."

"Really?" He raised a brow. "What does the jewelry look like?"

"Here." You dug around in your bag, pulling out the tiny box and opening it.

"Wow." He marveled. "That's beautiful."

"It is. It's my style as well. Makes me curious about what else my secret Santa has in store."

"Well, let's hope they get you stuff you like."

"I'll be thankful no matter what I get." You smiled. "Anyway, I'm gonna head home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Hongjoong smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

When secret Santa day two rolled around, you placed your present for Taehyung underneath the tree and headed to your work station as per usual.

Sitting on your desk was a sizable box wrapped in metallic deep blue wrapping, a white bow on top. You placed your hand over your mouth, glancing around the workplace. You lifted the small tag on the box, reading the writing on it.

I don't like following rules.

- Your Secret Santa

You debated about wether you wanted to open it right away or just wait. After debating for a moment, you decided to hold off and be patient. However, you found it hard to concentrate as you worked on the blouse. Your eyes kept drifting over to the shiny gift sitting on your desk.

Whoever has been leaving presents at your workspace seems to be a risk-taker, as they're coming in and leaving the gift, chancing getting caught by someone. You could only assume they were arriving before everyone else and making sure no one saw them.

"Ooh." You heard someone say.

You placed your needle onto your desk, turning to see no other than Minghao.

"What?" You asked.

"That shiny gift on your desk." He pointed with a grin.

"It's from my secret Santa."

"Why didn't they put it under the tree?"

"Beats me." You shrugged.

"You're not opening it now?"

"No. I opened the first one as soon as I came into work Monday, but I'm holding back for this one."

"You sure?" Minghao asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm gonna be patient."

"Okay, then. Good luck with your blouse." He waved, returning to his own work station.

The end of the work day approached and it was time for secret Santa once again.

You watched as everyone's gifts were handed out, deciding to watch Taehyung open his again.

You knew how much Taehyung loved his dog, Yeontan, so today's gift was a matching top you made for him and his beloved pet. You used beautiful brown and beige printed fabric and made a button down shirt and a mini version for Yeontan. A bright and brilliant boxy smile spread across Taehyung's features as he saw his gift. You couldn't hold back your own bright smile as you saw his reaction. It made you feel like you'd done a pretty good job of choosing his gifts thus far.

After seeing Taehyung open his gift you went to open yours. Unlike Monday's gift, this one didn't have to be unwrapped. The box and lid itself were wrapped separately so all you had to do was remove the top. Upon removing the lid, you saw a pair of heels. They were black suede platforms with a block heel. There were two straps on them; one strap to go across the toes and one to buckle around the ankle. They were simple, but beautiful and seemed like they'd be easy to walk in, which was perfect for you.

You lifted one of the shoes from the box, examining it and checking the size.

"These are my size." You muttered to yourself.

Placing the shoe back into the box, you put the lid on it and began to gather your things.

You were going to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but he was already gone.

Secret Santa day three rolled around and you weren't sure what else to expect. Your secret Santa had gotten you a stunning set of jewelry and an adorable pair of heels. You weren't sure what would be next.

When you arrived at work, you weren't surprised to see yet another gift sitting on your desk. Today's gift was in a long, flat box and it was wrapped in beautiful glittery red paper with white snowflakes printed all over it. Since it was the last day of secret Santa you decided to wait again to open your gift.

Today proved to be more difficult than the others. You kept glancing over at the present waiting for the work day to end.

Hours passed and your patience paid off. Your boss emerged from his office with a warm smile on his face.

"Alright. As everyone knows today is the last day of secret Santa. I'll start handing gifts out shortly, but first I want to remind everyone of the Christmas party that we're having tonight. It starts at 7:00 and it'll take place at a wonderful venue down the street. They have a huge room that we've rented out for this party. I hope to see you all there."

Like all the other days, you watched Taehyung open his present before you opened yours. For his last gift, you got him a diamond painting kit of Van Gogh's Starry Night. It was a fun little thing he could do during his free time, plus you knew Taehyung loved Van Gogh. After watching his reaction, you turned your attention to your own secret Santa gift.

You pulled back the decorative wrapping revealing a clothing box. You discarded the wrapping paper and opened up the box. Inside was a stunning dress in your favorite color. On top of the formal clothing was a note that read:

Meet me outside under the gazebo at 8:00. Wear all your gifts, please.

- Your Secret Santa

You pressed your lips together, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to break out onto your features. You pulled the dress from the box, getting a better look at it. The garment was medium length, not too short but not long enough to drag the floor. It was a simple dress, but stunning nonetheless. You placed it back into its box and went to chat with Taehyung before he left. You wanted to tell him that you were his secret Santa.

"Taehyung." You called.

He looked up at you with a warm smile.

"Hi, Y/n."

"I just wanted to let you know that I was your secret Santa."

A look of surprise flashed across his face.

"Really? It was you?"

"Mhm." You nodded.

He pulled you into a tight hug. "Thank you. Everything was perfect, especially the matching shirts for me and Tannie."

"I'm really glad you liked it."

He pulled away and ruffled your hair slightly. "I'm gonna head home now. I'll see you at the party tonight."

"See ya." You waved, heading back to your station to pack up.

To your surprise, Hongjoong was standing by your work area waiting for you when you turned around.

"Hey, Y/n." He greeted you.

"Hi, Hongjoong."

"I was wondering if you wanted to walk out together."

"Oh, sure." You placed your bag onto your shoulder and walked out with him.

"Are you coming to the Christmas party tonight?" He asked.

"I am. Are you?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm excited."

"Me too." You smiled, trying to hide your elation.

Hongjoong walked you to your car and bid you goodbye, saying that he would see you at the party.

You arrived at the venue just before 7:00. The building was decked out in bright Christmas lights, wreaths were hung on the windows giving the place a warm and festive feel. Upon entering the building you heard Christmas music being played, accompanied by the low murmur of partygoers chatting.

Your hair was styled perfectly and your makeup was done with a festive theme in mind. You also donned all of the gifts from your secret Santa. The dress, surprisingly, fit you perfectly, as did the shoes. Whoever got them for you knew exactly what they were doing.

You hadn't really considered who your secret Santa could be. You were just so giddy about your anonymous gift giver wanting to meet, you didn't really think about it.

You first stopped at the food and refreshments table to get yourself a glass of punch. You then made your way around the room greeting your coworkers and even danced with Taehyung for a bit. Before you knew it, it was 8:00. Your heart jumped when you glanced at the clock.

It was time to meet your secret Santa.

You made your way to one of the side doors and stepped outside. A concrete landing sat just outside the door, beyond that was a stone path that led to a gazebo. You could see someone standing there, but you were too far away to know who it was. Stepping across the stone path you moved closer to the gazebo, the quiet gasp leaving you when you saw who it was.

"Hongjoong?"

He turned around with a grin on his face.

You had to stop for a moment because he looks so handsome. His hair looked beautiful as always. His bangs were styled in a side part and pushed away from his face, showing off his perfect brows and sharp eyes. His outfit was pristine and high-end. He sported a very nice suit with a large, extravagant fur coat. It was typical Hongjoong attire.

"I'm glad I got your measurements right." He spoke, eyeing your dress.

"You made this?"

"I did."

"You're my secret Santa?"

"I am." He nodded with a shy smile.

You couldn't believe it. Out of all the people that could've been your secret Santa it was your crush.

"Everything you got me was so beautiful." You told him. "It was all perfect."

"I'm glad you liked it. I went a little over the price limit, but like I said, I don't like following rules." He smirked.

His hand extended to you, his rings glimmering under the fairly lights strung up. You took hold, allowing him to lead you all the way under the gazebo.

"This is... really romantic." You commented.

"Good."

His answer surprised you a bit.

He meant for it to be romantic?

"I'm sure you're wondering why I wanted you to wear the things I gifted you." He spoke up.

"Sort of."

"I began planning this the day our boss made the announcement for secret Santa. The jewelry, the shoes, the dress, and meeting up with you right here tonight."

"Why would you plan something so wonderful like this for me?"

"Because I like you, Y/n."

"I'm sorry? Did I hear you correctly?" You asked in disbelief.

"You did." He chuckled. "I've liked you for so long, but I wasn't sure you felt the same. That is until I caught you staring at me from across the room... more than once."

You face dropped, your cheeks becoming hot.

"You have?"

"Yes, and I find it adorable. I find you adorable." He emphasized.

"You do?"

He nodded.

All you could do was stare in disbelief, unable to comprehend what in the world was happening.

Hongjoong's sparkly eyes darted down to your lips before he started leaning in, causing your breathing to quicken. His lips came to a stop just centimeters from yours.

"Look up." He whispered, his minty breath fanning against your cheeks.

You did as he said and glanced above you to see a mistletoe hanging from the wooden beams of the gazebo.

"Oh." Was all you could say as you turned your gaze back to Hongjoong.

He wasted no time closing the gap between your mouths, pressing his lips against yours firmly. His hands found their way to your waist running up and down your sides before his arms slid their way around you, tugging you closer to him. Your hands trailed up to his hair, your fingers playing with the long strands of his mullet, carding your fingers through it.

A hum of satisfaction from Hongjoong vibrated against your lips as his head tilted to the side, deepening the kiss.

It was a little cold outside, but with the steamy kiss you were sharing with Hongjoong, you weren't able to feel the frigid chill in the air. In fact, your whole body was getting warmer by the second.

After parting ways Hongjoong let out a chuckle. "That was so worth it."

"What?" You giggled.

"Hanging up that mistletoe." He answered. "It took me forever to get it up there, but all that hard work paid off."

"Yes it did." You agreed.

He looked at you with a fond expression, his hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from your face.

"Merry Christmas, Y/n."

"Merry Christmas, Hongjoong."

"Should we go back inside and join the party? Sounds like they're playing some good music."

"Let's do it."

Seonghwa ❄︎ Yunho ❄︎ Yeosang ❄︎ San ❄︎ Mingi ❄︎ Wooyoung ❄︎ Jongho

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

[usmsgutterson]

And you've got your demons and darlin', they all look like me- for this prompt, think bittersweet! Good relationships that ended due to some unforseen circumstance and lead to a very nostalgic and bittersweet reunion. Think the acknowledgement of a past relationship and the bittersweet tug of the heart that comes with looking back at shared memories. This is basically the bittersweet, nostalgic angst prompt, and I encourage that you do with that what you will.

this and nikolaiiii! like being childhood friends but drifting over time and meeting again for some meeting (i dont know) and it isn't awkward, more like a lil stiff but still sweet, if that makes sense..

How've You Been?- N.L x gn! reader

Okay, hi! Apologies for how long this took--I know you mentioned that I should take my time in another ask but the apologies are almost obligatory at this point. Life has happened in the way that life does and this one is coming out when it comes out instead of a little sooner, like I had been hoping for originally.

Fic type- this is fluffy!

Warnings- none

You were grinning as you spoke with one of the generals at what Genya refused to call a ball, a gala, a display of grand riches which the Ravkan crown did not have, when Nikolai noticed you.

The outfitting required for the event had been, per the invites, 'relaxed formal' attire. For Nikolai, that manifested as a suit in the same blue as the Ravkan double eagle, no tie, and even a few buttons undone. It was an event thrown in the support of First and Second military alike, with a few of the richer families of Ravka invited to show their support and donate their funds where possible.

It seemed like you'd known the general, and Nikolai fought the urge to facepalm as he remembered why--of course you'd know him. You'd been in the Ravkan army with Nikolai since you were sixteen, and at twenty four, you'd gone up in the ranks to Lieutenant. You were likely just conversing with your boss, maybe a friend of theirs.

You looked good, for the relaxed formal outfitting requirements--you wore a black pleated skirt with a dark blue long sleeved button down tucked into it, black blazer over your arms and sleek black combat boots on your feet.

You looked like a refined version of you, someone that Nikolai had never expected he would meet; not when the version of you that he'd known had been one who craved apple butter at every tip and turn, not when you had been unafraid to run barefoot in grass clobbered by ticks and had danced with a smile in the mud during a rainstorm.

He'd missed you--he'd grown up with you. You'd been one of his closest friends alongside Dominik, and the three of you had joined the military together in the 22nd regiment.

You'd moved up in the ranks, and your regiment number had likely changed. It had been eight years since you'd last seen one another, so Nikolai naturally had to assume that everything had changed, if he were honest with himself.

Nikolai approached you once your conversation with the general had finished, and from the get-go felt a little idiotic. It was a silly thought to have, really--what, eight years without talking to one another and things would just naturally go back to normal? Thinking that something had to go back to the way it was because of the fact that it was that way once upon a time wasn't a good mode of thought, which Nikolai knew on principle.

Still, when you saw him, you grinned. You hugged him like a person hugs an old friend and Nikolai thought, for a second, maybe it could be easy. Maybe the first conversation you'd had in years could be easy.

"Hi, Nik," you greeted. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Nikolai responded. "Are you still working for the military?"

You nodded, proudness coming to your grin. "Yeah. Lieutenant on the way to general Y/N of Second Army Regiment Fifty-Six. I'll be the youngest general the Second Army has ever seen--I'm determined to get there by my twenty-sixth birthday, and I'm sure you've got your hands full running the country."

Nikolai nodded a little. "Yeah--this isn't easy, and sometimes I question how worth it it is."

You laughed. "I think we all ask ourselves that," you said. "I mean--it's not easy, but it's work. For me, it keeps the paychecks steady. For you, well--you keep the country on it's feet. I can't imagine that such a job would entail anything but a plethora of difficult moments."

Nikolai grinned, and the conversation stilted.

It wasn't...awkward with you, to say. It was just that you'd not spoken in more than two thousand days and as such, things weren't how they used to be.

"And you're okay?" You asked. "You're well, your family is well--what of them deserves to be, anyway?"

"Yeah," Nikolai nodded. He'd not spoken to his mother or his father since the Spinning Wheel. He had no intention of speaking to them anytime soon. "I'm all right. How've you been?"

"Well enough," you said.

Nikolai sighed.

It wasn't the best reunion, but he'd also never thought he'd see or hear from you again, so he figured it was a start.

[spookyboywhump]

AI-Less Whumptober Day Three- Sensory Deprivation

Originally this was supposed to be done with Zander and Vanessa but for some reason it just wasn't working out. Zander and one of the most annoying pairs of people to exist instead (Cain and Nicholas).

Fandom: OC's/Original Work

Word Count: 1,310

CW: pet whump, sensory deprivation, mentions of claustrophobia

***

 Nicholas was starting to get creative. If beatings and whippings weren’t going to work, then he’d have to try other methods, and Cain had given his permission for this, he told Nicholas that it had quieted him down for at least a couple of days in the past. Zander had fought the entire time he was dragged to the basement, it took both Cain and Nicholas working together to pull him downstairs, all while he tried to claw his way out of their grasp, yelling at them to fuck off and let him go. 

 Nicholas kept a tight grip on his collar, his other hand holding a fistful of his hair, despite Zander’s best attempts to get free. He kept him kneeling by one of the wooden posts in the basement, if he tried to get up he’d just get kicked back down.

 “Darling, I think we should use rope this time.” Nicholas told him, his tone light and upbeat, as though this was just a game to them.

 “I was thinking the same thing.” Cain said, searching through Nicholas’ supplies and coming back with more than enough rope. It took both of them to keep Zander in place, including Cain slapping him across the face a few times, hitting the back of his head against the post. “Quit fighting us, if you didn’t want to get punished then you shouldn’t have misbehaved!” He told him, but he didn’t even sound angry anymore, just amused. Really, misbehaving was a strong word for what he’d actually been doing, he’d say he’d just been acting annoying.

 “If being a bit annoying gets me tied up in a fucking basement then shouldn’t you be left down here too?” He said to Cain, only to get slapped again, even harder than before. He was bound so tightly he was forced to stay on his knees, sitting up straight, rope even wound around his neck to keep him from pulling away too far. His back already ached from the position. 

 Cain and Nicholas seemed to be in a great mood now that he was restrained, Cain pulled a blindfold over his eyes, and Nicholas muzzled him for snapping at Cain when he did so. He pulled against the rope holding him in place but they knew how to tie knots secure enough to keep him down, struggling was no use.

 “We’re going easy on you, mutt.” Nicholas laughed at him. “Teaching you a real lesson would take up so much of our time. Think of this like a time out, you can sit and think about what you’ve done wrong.” Nicholas said. The pair laughing at him and mocking him was the last thing he heard before headphones were placed over his ears, instantly blocking out all noise. It made him shudder as the abrupt silence settled over him, he knew he should consider himself lucky he wasn’t being whipped or beaten, but knowing this was his punishment, he was absolutely terrified. 

 He assumed they went back upstairs, leaving him down there alone. It’s not like it mattered, he couldn’t see or hear anything other than his own heart pounding in his chest and his attempts to take deep breaths through his nose. He didn’t know how much time had passed before he started to feel lightheaded and sick, he pulled against his restraints again but he was stuck there until they finally decided to come back for him.

 Much to his own annoyance, he did think about what he’d done wrong. He knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut, he should’ve stayed quiet and stopped making jabs and taunts at them. He thought it was funny though, and it was making Wren laugh. He probably would’ve stopped if one of them had just slapped him hard enough, he would’ve found some other way to entertain himself. This really wasn’t all that necessary. He worried about Wren being left up there with them, particularly with Nicholas, but he hoped Cain would keep him occupied. He hoped they wouldn’t decide to hurt Wren now that Zander couldn’t protect him. 

 It was hard to tell how much time was passing. It could’ve only been an hour or it could’ve been much later into the night already and he wouldn’t know. It was cold down there in Nicholas’ basement, he kind of wished that he’d been quieter just so he could be in the warmer part of the house. He briefly wondered if Cain intended to stay the night there, if they were going to leave him trapped down there all night long, and he was thankful he was alone because he couldn’t stop himself from whimpering. 

 He got more desperate as time went on. There were raw spots on his arms where he’d struggled against the rope, the muzzle sat uncomfortably against his face, part of him too hot and part of him too cold. He was shaking, he didn’t know if it was from the cold or from just how scared and miserable he was. Having only some of his senses cut off made everything else feel overwhelming, it made him feel claustrophobic. He was struggling to breathe again when he was startled by the first change in what felt like forever, finally the headphones were pulled off his head. At first he was tense and on edge, ready to be grabbed or hit again, he expected the worst, but he was quickly put at ease. 

 “H-hey, don’t worry, it’s just me.” Wren said softly. Zander relaxed instantly, he knew he was safe as long as it was Wren. “I’m sorry about all this…” He said, getting the muzzle off first and then the blindfold. Zander took a shaky deep breath, and if Wren noticed that he was still blinking back tears, he didn’t say anything. 

 “Th-thanks…” He murmured, struggling to speak from how dry his mouth was after that.

 “Of course.” He told him, turning his attention to the knots in the rope now.

 “You aren’t- you won’t get in any trouble for this, right? I-I don’t-”

 “It’s okay, they told me to do it.” He said, carefully working his way through the knots. “They were going to bed so we uh, we’re stuck down here tonight. They said I could free you.” He told him. 

 “Okay…” Wren finally got through the last knot and Zander was able to relax and slouch down again, his back and knees aching from holding that position for so long. “How long was I down here? They- they didn’t hurt you, did they?”

 “It’s been a few hours, at least.” Wren said, he seemed unsure of exactly how long it had been himself, but knowing it was hours was enough to make Zander feel a little less bad about how distraught it made him feel. “They didn’t hurt me though, they were pretty obsessed with each other.” He looked almost grossed out by whatever he’d seen up there. “I’d much rather be down here, as long as it’s away from them.”

 “Agreed.” Zander sighed. “I could’ve done without… all of that, though.” He said, stretching his arms over his head to try and deal with the pain of being still for so long. Now that he wasn’t worrying about if or when he’d be freed, all he could think about was how exhausted and hungry he was. He’d have to hope one of them would think to feed them in the morning.

 Until then, the two of them would have to spend their night down there. It was probably better than being anywhere near Cain and Nicholas, and when Wren sat close to him and pressed up against his side, he didn’t feel as cold as he did before. This was so much more bearable, despite the less than ideal conditions, he found that he finally felt perfectly relaxed.

[nightingaletrash]

Hey friend! I hope you're doing well. After admiring it from afar for a long time, I bought the Dragon Age games on mega sale. Do you have any suggestions for mods I should use to play? Thank you!

okay so, first off, welcome to hell I hope you enjoy your stay because there is no being normal about Dragon Age once you're in deep enough <3

second off

how much time and disk space do you have? because I use *a lot* of mods

First off, there is a learning curve to modding Dragon Age. DAO is deceptive in how easy it is to mod because for many mods, the installation is as simple as 'drop file in the override file' but there are some caveats based on how the engine works and it pays to understand what files are what, and what they do. DA2 is an almost identical process but tends to be much less finicky in practice, and DAI is infamous for being trickier by comparison due to the fact you have to use the Frosty Mod Manager, but you don't necessarily need to know the different types of files like you do with the other two.

If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask, I'm happy to share whatever I know ^^

So starting with DAO, here are some mods I'd recommend:

Unofficial Remaster - what it says on the tin, this mod includes higher resolution textures and introduces some updated models to create consistency with the later entries in the series. There used to be a lot more involved, including other mods that help increase cohesion between games but a lot of that was cut because people bugged the mod author too much about it.

Natural Lighting - makes the character creator less dark ^^

Female Proportion Fixes - there are three versions of this mod, one for humans, dwarves and elves respectively because the originals are pretty damn bad. Humans come with two variations, Sensual and Seductress - you only need to choose one.

Elf Update - this is entirely optional, as it essentially swaps the elven designs with the less-human elf designs used in DA2. Elf Update comes with its own version of the proportions fix, so if you chose to use this, you don't need Elf Proportion Fix.

Neutral Female Armours - does away with the atrocious boobplates that plague Origin's ladies. Luckily, a similar mod wasn't needed for DA2 and DAI because Bioware largely got their shit together. There is a compatibility patch for the proportion fix mods - those files need to overwrite the corresponding files in this mod. The Unofficial Remaster also includes some retextures for this mod as an optional file.

Extra Dog Slot - because the Dog is a very good boy and deserves to come along on quests without taking up a companion slot.

Dragon Age Redesigned - again this is optional, as I use this mod solely for non-companion NPCs, as bioware's originals sometimes look a bit odd. If used with Elf Update you'd need to delete all of the elf headmorphs included in this mod to avoid getting the wrong heads showing up. There's three options to choose between, Lore, Balanced, and Aesthetic.

Goblet De-Gobbler - tackles a pretty well-known bug with modded armours and rectifies some little inconsistencies with a particular sequence.

Thedosian Grey Wardens OR Grey Wardens of Ferelden - DA2 and DAI gave Wardens a uniform, yet there's none whatsoever in Origins. Which is odd because everyone seems to recognise you as a Warden on sight. Thedosian Wardens uses the Inquisition armour models while GWOF uses the DA2 model so it comes down to personal preference. Personally I'm a Thedosian fan and use it and it's related mods - searching Thedosian on the Origins nexus will bring them all up. It's pretty much everything you need for GWOF is pretty much included in the mod however. There are also some good retextures for both available by VagranDreamer.

Origin Unique Grey Warden Armour - adds some GWOF style armour with some unique flavour. These are included in Vagran Dreamer's retexture series.

Thedosian Wardens Arsenal - new Warden themed weapons. GWOF does include weaponry as well, but this stuff is my preference. It also contains scripts that allow it to replace all NPC Warden loadouts with this weaponry

Complete Bi Overhaul - because it could be gayer. Also includes some optional files to either stop certain male NPCs hitting on a female Warden or to get them to hit on a male Warden.

There really are so many more that I could like like character creation mods and NPC morphs I use, but I don't want to overwhelm you with info. I literally use too many mods XD

For DA2, here's my top hits:

Kirkwall Expanded - a really cool mod that adds new little quests to the game, a bounty board, and just livens up the city.

Automatic Chargen - opens the CC in the transitions between the acts (this game is divided into three acts with time skips between them), so if you want to mess with the idea of your character changing over the years, this mod is 10/10

NEW Import Vault Fixes and Editable Vault - essentially a bug fixer oriented around the content imported from your Origins save, and adds the ability to tweak the worldstate in game

Sapphim's Dialogue Mini Mods - a collection of little mods that alter some conversations to tone down some unnecessary sexism and to let the game be a lil bit gayer (and shut Gamlen's damn mouth)

Wardens of Weisshaupt - puts all Warden characters in Warden gear, and gives you a choice between shiny Inquisition ported armours like Thedosian Wardens or the original DA2 models ^^

Again there are dozens more mods I could recommend in regards to armour, headmoprhs, companion gear etc but those largely come down to preference so it's best to find what you like for yourself ^^

Then there's DAI. Keep in mind that for a long time, the go-to mod manager was DAIMM. Mods from that period are DAI.mod files; nowadays most people use Frosty Mod Manager and a lot of mods are made with Frosty, as its more powerful. Some dai.mods do work with Frosty, but it can be hit and miss.

Complete War Table Operations Without Waiting - For Frosty - DAI's war table operations take real time to complete, which is terribly impractical if you actually want to just clear them out and get them done. This mod changes the waiting time so the operations are completed automatically or have a very short wait time

Less Shards Please - An Oculara Rebalance - you might have heard of the tedious shard side quest; this mod makes it significantly less tedious.

Party Banter Tweaks - Inquisition's banter is unfortunately kinda buggy, so this mod gives you a better chance of hearing your companions talk to each other! There's a lot of great convos you don't wanna miss ^^

Enhanced Character Creator - adds even more sliders and options to CC, as well as a hair slot unique to the Inquisitor that some modders use so that Inky's hairstyle isn't shared with random NPCs. It can be a lot to take in, but once you have a grasp of it, you can really customise your character extensively

Dialogue Wheel Overhaul - completely changes the way the game’s dialogue wheel works to make it more cohesive, universal, and functional

Modded Hair in DLCs - what it says on the tin; the DAI DLCs are a bit finnicky with hair mods, and this is one of the ways around it

And as usual, there's loads more I could add but if I did, this post would need links for potentially hundreds of mods lmao

sorry this took me a while, I may have overwhelmed myself a bit because I literally use hundreds of mods in these games, and I didn't want to overload you with mods and information. If you need any help, let me know because there's a lot to know. Origins can be deceptively tricky thanks to the engine and its the one that has caused me the most headaches lol

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

High and Dry

From Control - Full Story in Progress on AO3!

Soap x Reader x Ghost

Summary: You haven't talked to Soap much since you've known him, much less alone. Though the thought didn't intimidate you. Unlike Ghost or even Graves, Soap hasn't tried to put on any acts with you. In the most endearing way possible, Soap was just… Soap.

Tags: TW/Implied PTSD, Pre-Canon, Angst, Slow Burn, Fluff, Romance, Flirting, Banter, No smut (sorry), almost like an awkward three-way café date, kind of reads like an OC a little.

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: I wanted to write something cute for Soap because I've been typing Ghost x Reader x Graves (Which is certainly not over with), but I love creating new ways for drama to seep in, and Soap's right there looking fine as hell so... I tried to write it like a cutesy fluff romance. Enjoy!

Masterlist

Soap was the first to arrive at the café that night.

He lingered about on the sidewalk alongside the city street, having walked here alone. The café hadn't been as far away as he'd thought originally, and the walk itself wasn't anything some headphones and music couldn't make breezy. Though the late summer night grows colder the longer he stands around waiting for you and Ghost to arrive.

Hopefully he hasn't been stood up again. It seems to happen a lot these days.

Everyone has their excuses whenever it happens too. It usually went along the lines of "I'm too tired" or "something came up". Whatever worked for the moment.

Soap never held it against his team when the plans would fall through though. People all have lives of their own; he understands that better than many give him credit for. And tomorrow's always there, it wasn't like he'd be away from the team for long. Not when he's worked as hard as he did just to be a part of it.

Still, he'd been hoping tonight wouldn't be another dud. He was really looking forward to actually having a second chance to talk with you.

The last time he had the opportunity to get to know you, he'd gotten black out drunk instead; Soap was still kicking himself in the ass for that one. But he didn't plan on making that same mistake again. No, this time he's ready.

Another cold breeze wisp the back of his neck, raising goosebumps on his skin. He hugs his arms together and lets out a shivery sigh, as he leans against one of the streetlights, his eyes diverting back and forth between the passing cars and those who'd walk by him on the sidewalk. All while the minutes crawl, the city ambience rumbling around him. It wasn't that late at night, yet the city bustled with life.

Laughter and boisterous voices erupt suddenly. The café doors swing open again, with its familiar bell chiming above. It allows for the interior's warmth to wash over the Sergeant, the smell of freshly made coffee and baked goods blowing out just before the door shuts. It sings to the man, who now desperately looks around himself for any sign of his companions.

The sound of distant car horns and aggressive chatter pull at his attention once more. He can't help but sigh to himself in marvel, swearing beneath his breath. "Shite..."

It's all very big, this city he's found himself in; his hometown in Scotland felt small in comparison. 

There was just so much here -- it was big and loud and dirty and busy, just like some old backdrop in a movie. With his half of the Task Force on stand-by at their current base, he was already mapping out places he wanted to visit, assuming there's enough time to venture before getting sent out again. He hopes so.

It's not often Soap finds himself in the States, but the atmosphere never ceases to enamor him. The others would say that's rather easy to do though, given the Sergeant's attention span and spontaneous nature outside of combat, which in that case Soap would have to agree.

He always was an easy man to please.

"Soap?"

That soothing, familiar voice of yours turns his head without hesitation, as he catches you walking towards him down the sidewalk. And as easily pleased and enamored Soap always found himself, you watch the stars shine in his eyes the moment they finally set sight on you.

You cleaned yourself up since the last time he saw you a few hours ago, having done your hair and put on something more suitable for the café setting. You decided to forgo your makeup for tonight as well. Your face sat rather worn, making the natural look of you that much more comfortable to be around, your eyes inviting him forward.

Soap had to keep himself from gawking.

He greets you, "There she is!"

You jokingly strut your way over and hold your arms out to present yourself. Soap must have taken the gesture as you trying to initiate a hug, in which he needed little convincing to reciprocate. A large smile grows on his face and two giant steps later he's in front of you, his arms wrapping around like a heated blanket.

The hug made you jolt at first, catching you off guard. The first thing you register is his scent, not a cologne or shampoo, but not bad either. It's very... him. Easy to take in. Before long you've let the warmth of his large arms and frame lull you into him, taking the cold night air away with his touch. 

You wrap your arms around him and hug back, laughing into his shoulder. "Aw," you start to tease. "I wasn't gone that long."

Soap lets you go, though he remains close. "You certainly got dolled up," he comments, taking the opportunity to take a better look at you beneath the streetlight.

"Oh you know," you shrug at his comment, your tone sarcastic. "I couldn't resist. You'll quickly learn I secretly crave being the center of attention."

Soap lets out a sharp exhale at your joke, chuckling to himself. He then almost hesitates before speaking again, "Well, you look lovely tonight."

You cock your head in amusement, your eyes growing pleasantly wide. "Why thank you."

Despite his sudden shyness, Soap certainly makes sure to look at you like he isn't. Having this natural gumption about him. He gives you a charming smile. "You're welcome."

You look Soap up and down and start to lean on your leg, as you cross your arms. "Hm," you say. "Gym attire still?"

Oh yeah. His outfit. He'd changed before coming here, sort of. Sure the man was still in his gym clothes, but Soap figured a hoodie would be enough, the black pullover he'd found fitting somewhat snug on him. However the longer he waits, the more he wishes he'd gone ahead and put something else on.

"Hey," Soap merely shrugs. "It's cozy."

You giggle. "I imagine."

The two of you enter into the café side by side, quickly skimming for a place to sit as you shared idle chatter together.

The café was a small, quaint little spot, some mix between a coffee shop and a bar, with dark wood flooring and interior. Soft music plays in the background, just barely humming over the crowd. And the smell, it had Soap's stomach grumbling the moment he took his first step in.

You find a table somewhere off near a corner of the main area, beside a misty window and candle lights, with just enough chairs for your impending party. For now however, it would only seat you two.

You and Soap sit across from each other. You don't notice the lack of legroom beneath the table until you feel yourself accidently bump against the man. Your ankle rubs against his leg, brushing faintly before you both awkwardly shift yourselves into place, pretending to ignore it. Though you both give each other a goofy look after.

"This place is quite adorable," Soap comments suddenly.

"Right?" You smile. "It looked nice on Google and didn't have completely shitty reviews, so I figured we could give it a try."

Soap chuckles to himself, looking around more and really taking in the scenery. The place is done up nicely with its candles and stringed lighting carefully placed, the plants and decorations giving the space a very cozy vibe.

It's just the two of you right now, tucked away at some candlelit table only a few feet apart. Alone.

"Feels romantic."

Your eyes widen a little, but you don't appear flustered. In fact, the comment only seems to further intrigue you. The small reaction is enough to bring a playful smile out of Soap. "Ya know," he teases. "If you wanted to ask me out on a date, you could have just said so."

You smile and scoff.

"Too much?" Soap asks.

"Mm." You give him a sultry look, humming to yourself and leaving the man in suspense. He starts to lean in curiously, his smile never leaving, and his gaze never faltering. Soap's piqued expression tickles you. "It's cute how you look at me like that."

Ah, he thinks to himself. That doesn't quite answer his question, but it definitely tells him something. Something he finds himself also intrigued by.

"It's cute how it makes you smile."

Now he's gone and made you blush, the image getting a little rise out of Soap, who takes that as a small victory.

"Any word on Ghost?" you ask him suddenly.

Oh right. Soap had to remember this was indeed not a date. He shakes his head, "He said he'd be here though."

"Oh well," you wave your hand jokingly. "I'm sure we can handle ourselves in the meantime. Keep each other company."

Soap smiles innocently. "Aye."

The conversation between you went peacefully. Flowingly even. It seems this chatty side came to you when work wasn't the topic of discussion.

You talked a lot about whatever caught your mind, sometimes it was an old story, other times it was just an opinion about a TV show you'd watched. But you talked. And Soap listened happily, having fun hearing all the ways you used your words and expressed what was on your mind. And when he talked, you gave him the same amount of eager attention.

You were a lot more chatty than he'd originally thought you were; which was saying a lot, as you were already pretty talkative. Soap's watched you speak in riddles with Ghost in the past, but with him, you seemed more interested in just being yourself.

And honestly, he was just getting lost in you in general. 

The entire aura you had was addicting to interact with. Your eyes bounced around animated-like when you talked about something you were more passionate about. You licked your lip a lot when listening to him, and always nodded, letting him know in smallest of gestures that you were indeed invested.

As the minutes fly by, Soap thinks to himself. This is really nice.

Had Ghost not finally arrived, Soap's sure he would have talked to you all night like this.

Ghost stepped into the café, turning a few heads his way just from his presence alone. As usual, he opted for something dark and comfortable to wear for the occasion. And as usual, he wore his skull balaclava.

The minute Ghost enters your peripheral, your face gleams with excitement, as you struggle to bottle up a cocky smirk. It was a lot different than how you had looked at Soap when you saw him. It piques his curiosity. Naturally, this doesn't intimidate the Sergeant one bit. He didn't get here being uncompetitive after all.

"You're late, lieutenant," you say to him.

Ghost looms over the table for a moment, growing more comfortable in the spot you two had chosen, as it wasn't as close to everyone in the building. "I had business to attend to," he says cryptically.

"Business?" Soap raises an eyebrow. "This late? What sort of business?"

"That's need-to-know, Sergeant."

...

Once Ghost was seated, Soap watched your attention shift slowly from him to the lieutenant, your jokes and jabs leaning towards Ghost now more so by every comment. Though you do what you can to share the attention, as did Soap, all while Ghost sat passively by, giving his same tired responses to the both of you.

After some time, the conversation starts to flow naturally between you three. Once a few kinks were worked out. You and Soap do most of the talking for Ghost, who had been more than happy with listening and responding as prompted. While his demeanor said otherwise, somewhere in him he was happy his aloofness hadn't seemed to rub either of you the wrong way.

Eventually you two somehow "convince" Ghost to go and order the drinks for all of you, giving him a chance to break away from all the extraverted energy exuding in the air. He practically jumps at the opportunity, leaving you alone with the Sergeant again. Just as Soap had unknowingly been hoping for too. 

You didn't last long with his smiling and eyeing you before you were doing the same.

"So, do you always go by your callsigns outside of work, or can I use your real name as well?" You lean forward on the coffee table with intrigue, your chin rested in your palm, as a smirk pulls at your lips. "Before I start making up pet names that is."

"Pet names?" Soap lets out a sharp laugh, the flicker of the fancy candlelights twinkling in his light blue eyes. He then grows sly, resting his arms on the table across from you. He leans in a little. "What kind of pet names?"

You bite your lip a little and look over his shoulder at the other patrons. "Only the most fitting kind," you say coyly.

"Too shy to share now, are we?" Soap asks.

"Maybe I'd rather just say your name instead."

The thought of you letting his real name roll from the tip of your tongue seems to bubble something hot inside the Scotsman, which manifests itself into a shy little laugh. For such a naturally talented, and deadly man, he could be rather bashful.

"If you want to say my name, you only have to ask me," he says, his voice low and gravelly now. "Nicely, of course."

"Soap." In the nicest voice you can muster, you ask, "Can I call you by your name?"

"Why yes you may."

"John, right?" you ask. "That's the name on your files, if I remember correctly."

There's a spark in his blue eyes after you say it, almost like he's been waiting to hear what it sounded like in your voice, wrapped in the allure of your words.

"Aye," he smiles. "That's right."

"Jooohhn," you sound his name out a little more, letting it familiarize itself in your mouth. It makes the air get caught in his throat. You smirk. "I guess you look like a John."

"What gave it away?"

"Mmm," you place a finger to your lip and think to yourself, letting your eyes look him up and down. He watches you detail the veins in his forearm, the bulk of his arms, the shape of his stubbled jaw and the red blush that formed at the corners of his ears. "Your body."

"My body?"

"Yeah," you confirm. "Your body. I'd say you're built like a "John". Big arms, big smile, strong, a little stocky -- I'd say that's very "John" like of you."

Soap laughs again. He laughs a lot, you've found. It was rather infectious; you could hardly stop yourself from reciprocating it. Nor did you want to.

"Don't forget handsome," he adds in.

"Right," you say. "Also smart."

"And charming," he smirks.

"And overconfident," you tease.

"That's not a bad thing."

"I agree," your gaze lowers a little. "I do like my men a bit cocky."

"Oh?" Soap leans on his arms now. He hasn't taken his eyes from you since you've started this conversation. "I'm yours so soon then?"

You rest your chin back on your hand and lean forward some more, playfully being seductive. "Is that a bad thing, John?"

You see the blush begin to pool into the man's cheeks, as he lets out a shy chuckle. However, despite the blushing, he grins, never breaking eye contact. "I wouldn't complain."

Your hands both rest on the table, only a few inches away from one another. You're not exactly sure what convinces you to do it -- maybe knowing that he was the only man around you that would allow for it -- you extend a finger and gently let it graze the edge of his palm, stealing a warm touch. A simple, gentle poke.

Soap's jaw tenses at the sensation, though not because he didn't like it. His eyes drop down, watching your hand move stealthy. Your finger retreats as quickly as it had reach out to him. You look off into the room again, purposefully acting as though you hadn't noticed your hands touch.

You don't see his smile, but you do feel his hand gently graze yours a few seconds later, lingering. They're quite warm, both firm and gentle all at once. Your hand subliminally chases his skin at the slightest motion, and before long the tips of your fingers hover over his again.

"Is this the part where you tell me your name now?" he asks. "As much as I like Canary."

That's when Ghost decides to come back with those drinks. You both quickly straighten up, attempting to bring back your more casual demeanor. 

"I may have spooked the barista," Ghost says, before taking a seat and passing you both your orders.

Soap's goldfish attention span carries his gaze from you to the lieutenant. Sarcastically, he goes, "I wonder why."

"You'd think she saw a ghost," the lieutenant quipped. Ghost takes a look at the both of you, seeing the coy expression on your faces and the blush on both your cheeks. It raises a brow from him, beneath his mask. "Am I interrupting?"

"Canary was just about to tell me her name," Soap looks back over at you, not letting you get off the hook just yet.

"Ah," Ghost says.

"You're not curious L.T.?"

"...I already told him actually," you laugh awkwardly. 

Soap gasps. "You did?"

"It was a little bit ago actually," you say.

"And ye didn't tell me?" His Scottish accent swirled the words of from his lips, as you could hear the heartbreak in his voice. "Can I know too then?"

"I don't know," you tease. "Maybe I might keep it a secret now. Keep you guessing."

"Wha'?" He scoffs.

"It takes a little more than asking me nicely to get my name, Sergeant. Though I appreciate you telling me yours."

"You're a cruel lady, Canary."

"Tell you what," you get a mischievous look on your face suddenly, one that pauses Soap patiently. "I'll tell you my name," you bring your eyes to Ghost, who sits quietly at the table with his drink (which was already half gone despite having just seated himself). "If Ghost tells me his name first."

"His name wasn't in the same files?" Soap asks.

You shake your head. Most of Ghost's files were blacked out and classified, though his reputation proceeds him clearly. Meanwhile, Soap's files couldn't be any more of a stark difference in comparison. 

The man's files read like a novel of high praises and decorations. A 22 Regiment member at only 18 years old, with some of the highest scores on record, and the youngest to ever pass the selection into the SAS too. There are whole pages spent going into detail on everything he specialized in; he might joke around about his callsign, but even the name Soap carries some weight to it.

You really felt lucky he even cared to know your name at all.

Soap looks over at Ghost pleadingly, though he already knows what to expect. Ghost keeps his eyes closed nonchalantly, holding his drink close to his chest.

He pouts at his superior. "L.T.?"

"You're on your own, Johnny."

Soap bows his head in defeat as you laugh, standing from the table with your drink. You excuse yourself for the moment, leaving the men to themselves.

As you walk away, Soap watches you go, his eyes dropping from the back of your head to the lower half of your body. He sees the bounce in your step and the sway of your hips move before you vanish behind the crowd of other patrons.

"Don't stare too long Johnny," Ghost's voice cuts in suddenly. Soap nearly jumps when he looks back over and sees Ghost staring dead at him. The shock on Soap's face only makes Ghost shake his head disapprovingly. "Might burn a hole in 'er back."

The Sergeant smiles to himself. "I can't help it," he says. "I mean shite... What a bonnie, aye?"

Ghost gives Soap a deadpan stare. "A what?"

"Oh," Soap clears his throat. "She's cute."

Cute? Cute ? From the way Soap's whole demeanor lit up the moment he saw her, Ghost could have guessed as much. However, he hadn't expected the Sergeant's words to make Ghost feel so... odd about it. Mulling over it in fact.

Ghost looks across the café, watching you approach the halls to the restrooms, just out of range of the men's conversation. He imagines this would be a little awkward if you heard them talking.

"Keep your head on straight, Sergeant," Ghost states. "We aren't off work just yet."

"Aye, I know sir," Soap sighs. "But this is nice too, no? Havin' a break every now and again."

"You shouldn't drop your guard so easily," Ghost chides. "Especially around strangers."

"She's not that much of a stranger," said Soap.

"No," Ghost's eyes unconsciously roam the room, droopy with exhaustion. Indeed you didn't feel quite like a stranger, least of all to Ghost. "But she's not us."

"I guess you're right..." Soap is quiet for a moment, and then a thought passes his head. He pouts at the lieutenant all grumpy like. "Though that's funny comin' from ye, seein' you clearly had a chat when no one was around."

Ghost groans to himself, taking his eyes away from the Sergeant. He hadn't mentioned anything about that night with you to anyone, having just kept the whole event locked away in his mind. It's been a struggle enough just doing that.

"I just drove her home the one time," Ghost sighs. "No need to work yourself up, mate."

"Right, from that other night," Soap reminisces. "I was out for damn near most of it. Though I heard there was a fight."

"Don't ask me about it," Ghost says. "She didn't say much, and I didn't ask for an elaboration."

"Or maybe you're just hiding all the juicy bits," Soap starts to poke.

"No one likes a gossip, Johnny."

"Fair enough," Soap sighs.

"I find her being here odd," Ghost comments suddenly. "Why transfer her here with us? Why now?"

"It is a bit strange..." Soap admits. "I'm sure it's not anything she can help. Orders and all."

"Good orders, or bad ones?"

"I doubt they're bad," Soap sighs. He then gets this quizzical look about him, as he nudges at the lieutenant suddenly. "You think they sent her to spy on us?"

Ghost's eyes search for you in the café again, still finding you standing off to yourself near the back. Frozen. It's rather peculiar now, it makes the lieutenant's brow furrow.

"My gut's tellin' me somethin's off."

"Your gut says that a lot," Soap jokes.

"It's kept me alive this long."

"And alone."

Ghost pauses at Soap's comment, the words sticking to him. He opens his mouth to say the first thought that comes to his mind, how being alone suits him just fine. But then he pauses, letting that sentence sink back down into his throat. Pretty soon too many seconds have crawled by, and instead Ghost settles for silence instead.

Soap comments no further, giving Ghost enough time to look over and see you still standing where he last saw you. Frozen still.

This time Ghost excuses himself, as he makes his way towards you, if not just to make sure you were doing OK.

By the time Ghost nears, he finds you standing off a ways in the café, just teetering at the start of some small, narrow corridor towards the building's restroom and backrooms. The lights are off in the hall, the glow of the main seating area cutting off sharply against the archway of the hall. The corridor stretches endlessly into its own darkness.

You stare deep into the hallway, frozen, eyes wide, and contrite. Your drink is clasped so tightly in your hands that the plastic bends unnaturally in your shaky grip. And the other patrons glide by, chatting idly, ignoring you, the world continuing on all around, as the store's music drowned out the sounds of your heavy breathing.

A fear of some sort has overtaken you. Ghost almost thought that fear had manifested itself into someone standing down at the end of the hall; the two of you deadlocked in a glare. He keeps his distance when he approaches you, not to have his presence disturb you just yet. Wanting to see what it was you saw.

Ghost looms a few feet away, the shadow of his large figure barely meeting your peripherals. Your back stays turned to him, completely unaware of his large figure behind you. He feels the tension riveting from you the closer he inches forward.

He looks down this hall that's captured your gaze, expecting to see the face of the stranger that's stopped you so abruptly. Yet when his dark irises trail along to where your gaze stops, he's met with the cold ending of an empty hallway. Not a soul in sight.

And yet you stand here, peering in. Afraid. No longer here in this moment.

Immediately, he recognizes what it is that is happening.

Ghost rest his hand on your shoulder, carefully. A small nudge that should knock you out of this trance this hallway has taken you down. Something tells him, you'd appreciate the distraction and a change of scenery. However, the man's touch against your arms does anything but calmly bring you back.

The minute his cool fingers glide against the fabric of your clothed covered shoulder, his touch sends a thunderbolt through you. Your entire body tenses and you yelp, your drink falling from your hands and crashing onto the tiled flooring, spilling everywhere.

Ghost takes a step back, feeling the eyes of the other patrons looking your way. Their stares seem to bother you most of all.

"Shit," you look around, searching for anything you could use to clean the mess you'd suddenly created. "I'm sorry..."

Eventually one of the workers walks from around the counter with a mop and a bucket, their trained smiles already ushering both you and Ghost away from the spill so they could clean the mess. The store settled back to itself rather quickly, allowing for you to not feel as trapped in by everyone and everything.

You can't seem to lift your gaze from the floor, ashamed by your sudden behavior. You spare Ghost no words, and the man can't seem to find words suitable enough to spare to you in return. All you're left with is the unspoken tension and familiar darkness swirling about.

Your head sags, and you speak nearly at a whisper now. "...I need to get out of here."

Before Ghost can reply, you zip past him in a shameful flurry, making a beeline for the exit. You run into Soap on your way out. However, his joyous smile and matching words did little to stop you from walking out the door.

...Chapter Sixteen Here!

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Top of the List [Part Two]

Fandom: Elvis Presley, American Musician

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Addison Goodwin

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Jessie Goodwin, Lisa Marie Presley, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Jerry Schilling, Marci Cunningham, Colonel Parker [Mentioned], Joe Goodwin

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4570 of 9639

Summary: When you’re a kid writing a Christmas list is simple; toys and lots of them. As you get older however the wishes start to change and with a life as complicated as the Goodwin-Presleys those wants aren’t always easy to come by. For Addison it’s a family. For Jess answers. And for Elvis, well, as long as he’s got his girls he doesn’t have to wish for a damn thing.

Tags/Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Sex, Penatrative Sex, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Handjobs, Morning Sex, Mentions of Death, Grief, Grieving, Absent Father, Single Parent, Working Parent, Christmas Day, Secrets, Festive Period, Teen Angst, Moods, Fingering, Christmas Morning, Kids on Christmas, Magic of Christmas

Notes: Okay so I’d been planning these as two separate fics but I decided to put them together because they parallel each other so well. All of them wanting something etc etc

I did want to make it sorta ghosts of Christmas past, present and future but working out the timelines of how to establish everything was too hard.

PART ONE // PART TWO // PART THREE

ELVIS & ADDISON MASTERPOST  //  TAG LIST

Jess could hear her mother coming down the hall towards her, no doubt coming to check if she was awake yet, which she had already done at least twice before in the last hour, though on those times Jess had closed her eyes feigning sleep until her mother had sighed and crept back out. She didn’t know why, after all, she had been awake well over an hour, listening to the sounds of this unfamiliar house as everyone started their days without her. As she heard her mother get closer, walking down what felt like a mile-long hallway, she knew what it was. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to be lying in this foreign bed in this alien room in this, well, rather nice, but unfamiliar house. She wanted to be at home.

She wanted to be at home like she had been every other Christmas. She wanted to be opening presents under their tree. She wanted to eat dinner at their dining table, in their usual spots, laughing and joking until the food was gone, and they were forced to retreat into the living room to watch TV in a food coma. Even when her mother had had to work they'd managed to do all of it, her mom never having been willing to let her miss out one bit. Well, until this year. 

As the door opened, revealing her mother's expectant face to her, Jess groaned and forced her face into the pillow, making Addison chuckle, 'Well, good afternoon to you too sleepyhead.' 

As Jess offered another groan in response, Addison rolled her eyes and headed to the window, thrusting the curtains open with the vigour only a mother can. Again Jess grumbled but given that she had been spending the past few hours waiting for her to arise, Addison didn't seem to be in the mood for any protests and said, 'Oh come on, you can't spend all day in bed.' 

'We only got in late,' Jess said defensively, though she knew it wasn't her reasoning for not wanting to get up. 

'I know, sorry baby,' Addison said guiltily as she perched on the end of the bed. 

'It's okay,' Jess said, immediately feeling her own guilt surge as she saw her mother's worried expression. After all, she knew if her mother had the choice she probably wouldn't have elected to come here either. She was just trying to appease Marci. That was the most frustrating thing. 

‘Still, that doesn’t mean the day is wasted,' Addison said, placing a hand on her daughter’s covered knee, ‘Mar and I are gonna go shopping if you wanna come? We're gonna go and get a tree.’

‘Is Tom going to be there?’ Jess said, unable to hide the disappointment from her voice.

‘He’s working,’ Addison said.

‘It’s Christmas,’ Jess retorted, her tone laced with judgment though she didn’t know why considering if he was available she probably wouldn’t want him to come anyway. 

‘And how many Christmases have I had to work before now, huh?’ 

‘Yeah, saving people's lives,’ Jess grumbled, earning a sigh from her mother.

‘Jess, come on,’ Addison said, watching as her daughter became overly interested in the bedspread. Addison knew that Marci moving away had been hard on her daughter, it had been hard on her too, but she understood why she'd done it, which was why she’d been agreeable to coming out to California in the first place. It wasn’t that she wanted to spend Christmas in a home that wasn’t her own or to have to beg to get the time off work, bartering to work the entirety of New Year's Weekend, but if it was the only way to have them together she’d do it. She just needed a little cooperation.

‘Look,’ Addison sighed, ‘I know you wanted Christmas like normal. I did too, but honey, we have to go with what we have and this is what we have, okay? Besides, it doesn’t matter where we are right as long as it’s us three?’

‘And Tom,’ Jess scowled.

‘Who is at work, remember?’ Addison retorted, raising an eyebrow and nudging her leg, hoping that her daughter’s mood would mellow even a little, ‘come on what do you say?’

Jess seemed to deliberate on the question for a moment before she shrugged and said, ‘I’m good.’

‘Jess,’ Addison sighed.

‘It’s not like it’s anything exciting anyway,’ Jess said, dropping her gaze back to the bedspread, ‘besides, it’ll give you and Mar a chance to catch up. You can tell all the things you don’t want me to know.’

‘I don’t keep secrets from you,’ Addison said, but Jess appeared not to be listening, favouring looking anywhere but her direction in the hopes that she’d leave her be. Addison watched her for a second, wondering whether to force the issue, but she knew there was no point. That no doubt she’d come around at her own pace. So, with a sigh, she got up and headed to the door, opting to leave her alone, though as she got there she paused, turning back to find Jess watching her.

‘How about when we get back we trim the tree?’ Addison said, hoping her fir-tree-shaped olive branch would be enough. 

‘Okay,’ Jess said, offering the first smile her mother had seen since she’d entered.

‘Would you mind getting the stuff out while we’re gone? Mar says it’s in the closet in the other room,’ Addison said.

‘Sure,’ Jess said, pushing herself until she was sitting up in bed.

‘Atta girl,’ Addison smiled, ‘see you later?’ 

‘Yeah, see you later,’ Jess agreed, watching as her mother turned to leave. Just before she could pull the door closed however Jess called her name, forcing her to pause and wait expectantly as Jess said, ‘can we make cookies?’

‘Sure baby,’ Addison smiled before she closed the door and disappeared. 

Once she was gone Jess relaxed back on the headboard, listening to her and Marci's movements until they finally disappeared, signalling she was alone. Yet as she sat there, listening to the now deafening silence, she couldn't help but feel guilty for being so ratty, though fortunately that guilt washed away rather quickly as her stomach rumbled loudly begging for the nourishment it had been needing since she'd awoken hours ago. So she peeled herself out from under the covers in search of food. 

She didn't pay much attention as she wandered down the hall towards the kitchen. It was only when she was standing by the kitchen counter, chomping down the trill-like oat shapes Marci called cereal, did she even take in her surroundings. It had been late when they’d gotten in last night, given that her mother had worked a full shift before they’d headed to the airport, which meant they’d only been given a rudimentary tour. She moseyed through the house, cereal bowl in hand, inspecting everything as she went. It was nice and large, in a way that made her own home feel like a shoebox, yet as she wandered past the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked over the vast expanse of the rolling California hills she didn’t feel impressed. If anything she felt the opposite. Like all the ornately picked wallpaper and designer furniture she was sure aimed to impress fell flat. There was no character to it. Marci was one of the most vibrant personalities she’d ever met and yet there was not an inch of her here. It made her sad.

In fact, the thing that was most noticeably ‘Marci’ was the closet in the guest room, which appeared to have been stuffed with everything the woman had ever owned. As she started to pull out the boxes she quickly realised that in true Marci fashion every item had been thrown haphazardly inside, which meant everything was mixed up. It didn’t take her long to find a few boxes of Christmas ornaments here and there, but convinced there must have been more she carried on looking, but eventually she started to get distracted. She was pouring over an old photo album, one she was sure had been sent to Marci from her mother during the downsizing of their house, skimming through the pictures of Marci and her family in houses and yards she didn’t recognise. However, as she got to some of the later pictures she did recognise a familiar face, one she had to take a second glance at just to be sure it wasn't herself she was seeing; her mother. The photos were nice to look at and though they were all from before she was even born, they did remind her of the mother and aunt she'd used to have. As she stared at one of the pictures she felt that guilt returning. To think that just a couple of years after it was taken they'd given up their entire lives to raise her, to give her countless amazing Christmases, only for her to sulk about missing just one made her feel rotten. 

As she got to the last page she sighed and closed the book, leaning over the box to pull out the next one. Except at the bottom of the box were no more photo albums but a stack of magazines. She pulled them out, spilling them onto the floor as she observed them. They were dated, the pages yellowed and frail, but all of them were about the same thing. Elvis Presley. 

Jess opened one, gently turning the pages as she skim-read them. Considering she’d never even heard her aunt mention him or play any of his records she would never have known she was a fan, but given the way ‘Mrs Marci Presley’ was scrawled in the margins of most of the magazines Jess gathered that at some point she must’ve been. She wasn’t surprised of course. Even now he was a big name though definitely not as popular as he once had been and having only seen a handful of his films she herself didn’t see the appeal. He was handsome, sure, but the mania of Marci’s scrawlings had yet to translate into her own youthful heart. About halfway through the second magazine Jess lost interest and moved to dump the stack back inside the box though as she did she noticed another photo album, smaller than the rest and nestled right at the bottom of the box itself as if hidden from view. Curiously she pulled it out, opening its leather cover to inspect what might be in this one. On the first page was a postcard of Elvis and figuring her teenage aunt had elected to make a scrapbook of him Jess rolled her eyes but as she turned the page she was taken by surprise. Because on the next page there was a picture of Elvis as expected except in this one her mother was standing next to him nestled into his side, his arm slung around her shoulders. 

Jess stared at it. At first she figured it must've been a chance encounter, such an avid fan as Marci it was to be expected, but as she flicked through the album finding more and more pictures of them together she realised it wasn’t. Marci wasn’t just a fan. She was a friend. As was her mother, and by the looks of things, she seemed more than just friendly with him.

She was stunned. She’d never really seen her mother like that. Even with the infrequent boyfriends she'd had she’d remained reserved, something Jess assumed was for her sake, so to see her young and quite obviously in love seemed strange. In fact, she couldn’t quite get over how odd it all felt, how looking at the pictures made a weird feeling swirl in her stomach. As she turned the page over the glue that had been diligently holding the picture in place seemed to give up, causing the Polaroid to flutter into her lap. Jess picked it up, finding that strange feeling to still be there, yet it worsened as she noticed the caption scribbled on the bottom.

Addie & Elvis, Christmas Day 1957. 

'57,’ Jess whispered to herself, as if she hadn't already done the mental math in her head the moment she clapped eyes on it. Her mind started to spin. Finding out her mother had dated the most famous man on the planet was one 2thing. Finding out she’d dated him nine months before she was born was another.

'Surely not,’ Jess thought, trying to convince herself of the lunacy of it all. After all, she didn’t know for sure her mother had dated Elvis. All this was just speculation.

‘But still,’ her mindcountered. If she had dated him why hadn’t she said anything? Why wasn’t this just a funny little story her mother told? Why had Marci never even mentioned being a fan? There had to be a reason, right? Something holding them back from being honest with her. As she stared at the photo she started to wonder. In fact, she was so lost in wondering she didn't hear her mother approaching until she was outside the door, barely giving her enough time to cram everything back inside the box before it swung open to reveal her. 

‘Hey sweetie,’ Addison said, leaning on the door handle.

‘Hey,’ Jess replied as casually as she could muster whilst trying to ignore the pounding of her heart inside her chest. 

‘We’re back,’ Addison said, ‘did you find those decorations?’ 

‘Uh yeah,’ Jess said, shifting the boxes of ornaments and tinsel she’d found until it was front and centre, ‘that’s all I got though.’

‘I thought so. Mar said the rest of it is in the attic,’ Addison said, rolling her eyes, ‘we can get it down and start putting it up.’

‘Okay,’ Jess said, ‘I’ll uh, be through in a minute. Just let me tidy this stuff away.’

‘If I know Mar that’ll be the tidiest that cupboard has ever been,’ Addison chuckled, ‘see you in a minute.’

‘Yeah, see ya,’ Jess said.

As Addison headed out of the room Jess waited patiently until she was sure she was far enough away she couldn’t double back. Then she scrambled to open the box again, plucking the photo album from its clutches before stuffing the rest of the contents back inside and obscuring the posters and magazines from view. She looked at it for a moment before tucking it under her arm. She had a million questions flying around her mind but as she heard her mother call her, ready to start their Christmas, she realised they would have to wait.

✵✵✵

‘Jess…Jess…Jessie!’ Marci said, snapping Jess from the daydream she had been in as she pushed past her and turned one of the dials on the stove down so the pot that was bubbling away stopped from spilling out of its confines. 

‘Sorry,’ Jess said meekly.

‘You know your mom only trusted me to do all of this provided I had your supervision,’ Marci giggled.

‘Sorry,’ Jess said again, dropping her gaze to the carrot she’d been in the middle of cutting before Marci had even tried to get her attention about the imminent spillage. 

‘It’s okay,’ Marci said, though as she watched Jess she realized her teasing hadn't landed the way she had intended, and so she said, ‘what’s got you so distracted?’ 

‘Nothing,’ Jess said quickly. 

‘You’re really gonna lie to me on Christmas?’ Marci asked, raising an eyebrow. Jess paused. There was something on her mind. There had been something on her mind since the minute she’d found those old photos, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to actually ask anyone about it. Whether that was because she was scared of what they might say if it was true or how she would feel if it wasn’t, she wasn’t sure.

So, instead of asking what she really wanted to, she navigated around it. After all, her questions about paternity weren’t the only thing bothering her this holiday season.

‘Do you miss it?’ Jess asked.

‘Miss what honey?’ Marci said. She was by the oven, peeping inside at the bird Jess was sure should’ve been a lot more cooked by now, but she looked back as Jess said, ‘Vegas…us.’

‘Of course I do!’ she replied, aghast at the insinuation she wouldn’t.

‘But you didn’t want to come home for Christmas,’ Jess reasoned, folding her arms across her as she rested back against the counter. 

‘Sweetheart,’ Marci sighed, ‘it’s not as easy as wanting to. Tom has work and he has family here, so…I said I'd stay.’

‘But you’d rather be in Vegas with us?’ Jess questioned. 

‘Don’t tell Tom but… yeah,’ Marci said, coming to stand beside her as she said, ‘I mean it’s been that way for the past fourteen years.’ 

‘What did you do before then?’ Jess asked casually, moving to continue to chop the carrots in order to keep her hands busy.

‘I spent it with my family,’ Marci said.

‘In Memphis?’ Jess asked, peeking at her. It wasn’t the direct question she longed to ask, but it was on the outskirts of where she wanted to be. She just hoped her aunt would take her there naturally. Unfortunately, judging from the way her aunt shifted awkwardly away from her in order to busy herself with something else it didn’t seem to be a direction Marci wanted to go in. But Jess couldn’t help herself, and so she pressed, ‘why did you stop?’ 

‘Huh?’ Marci said innocently.

‘Why did you stop going home for Christmas? I mean you’ve been home for visits…’

‘Well, I had you guys,’ Marci said. 

‘But we could’ve gone with you, right? I mean your parents know my mom, right?’ Jess said, her logic and reasoning coming quicker than her aunt seemed to be able to fend off as all she could reply was an airy, ‘well yeah.’

‘So why didn’t you go home? I mean didn’t they miss you?’ Jess said.

‘Oh Jessie, it’s just one of those things,’ Marci shrugged, though as she glanced at Jess and found her watching her expectantly she sighed, ‘if I’d gone home your mom wouldn’t have had anyone around at Christmas. And my parents, well, they have my brother and his wife and kids…they didn’t need me.’ 

‘Why didn’t she just go with you?’ Jess pressed again, though she was sure she knew why. 

Why her mother didn’t speak of her father. Why she refused to go to the city she’d grown up in. Why her aunt was looking at her with concern in her blue eyes as she said, ‘Memphis… Memphis means something different to your mom than it does to me. The idea of going back, well, it hurts her a lot more so… I made my choice.’

For a moment Jess couldn’t speak. Not only because she was trying to snake out any clues from what her aunt had said, but because she was reeling at how she had said it. How her happy-go-lucky aunt had spoken so softly and seriously about her mother. But soon enough the questions started swirling once more, yet before she could ask any of them her aunt cut her off.

‘Let’s stop talking about this. It’s Christmas,’ Marci said shakily, ‘happy stuff only.’

‘But-’

‘Jess leave it,’ Marci said, the seriousness in her tone making any questions she had fall flat. Marci hung on, waiting for Jess to press on, like her mother would, but instead, she paused, nodding gently to signal she’d let it go. However it didn’t stop the uneasiness her questioning had provoked to linger in Marci throughout the day.

✵✵✵

Jess was sitting on the floor, staring at the English homework she had been endeavouring to finish since she landed at her friend Elaine’s house. Elaine herself was scribbling away, working on her own assignment, but Jess couldn’t make her pen move because just down the hall Elaine’s mother was settling down in front of the TV ready to watch something Jess had been longing to watch.

Elvis – Aloha from Hawaii.

Ever since she had found those photos in Marci’s closet she had become obsessed with the man, longing to find out any scrap of information she could about him but given that her mother was always lurking nearby her opportunities to do so were limited. And even when she wasn't around Jess found that she was nervous to start looking just in case she got caught. It wasn't that she didn't want to know more it was more that she wanted to make sure she had enough evidence before her mom found her prying which is why she'd stuffed the photo album she’d taken from her aunts under her mattress and out of her mother's view. So when she’d seen the TV special listed in the TV guide she’d been beside herself with excitement because she knew that Elaine’s mother was a big fan and more than likely would be watching. And so armed with the excuse of catching up on the winter break homework she'd not yet started Jess had headed over to her friend's house. Except once inside she hadn't been able to work up the nerve to ask Elaine if they could go into the living room and watch.

‘Earth to Jess,’ she heard Elaine say, snapping her from the daydream she’d been in only to find her friend staring at her expectantly.

‘What?’ Jess asked.

‘I said have you answered question five,’ Elaine asked.

‘Uh no, not yet,’ Jess said, glancing at her mostly empty page as did Elaine.

‘Jeez, you’ve hardly written anything,’ Elaine said.

‘Yeah, uh, I guess I’m just out of it,’ Jess said.

‘Do you feel okay?’ Elaine asked, concern befalling her freckled face.

‘Actually, I feel a little thirsty,’ Jess said.

‘Oh, do you want a drink?’ Elaine asked.

‘If it’s no trouble,’ Jess replied.

‘Of course not,’ Elaine chuckled, pushing herself up from the floor, ‘c’mon. I might even treat you to some chips too.’

As she headed for the door Jess followed quickly behind, already able to hear the now familiar tones of Elvis Presley wafting down the hall. She tried to ignore it but as Elaine busied herself in the pantry, she couldn’t help but wander away, standing on the fringes of the living room as she peered in at the TV mesmerised.

Her time of knowing about him may have only been short but the feeling she got whenever she saw him made her think that the ideas she had been having might not be so ludicrous. When she saw those big blue eyes, her eyes, or watched him smile, her smile, it didn’t seem so crazy.

‘What are you doing?’ Elaine said as she came up behind her, two glasses and a bag of chips now in hand. Her mother turned too, looking over her shoulder at the girls from her easy chair, seemingly not having noticed Jess standing there until her daughter had appeared, no doubt mesmerised herself.

‘Sorry I heard the TV,’ Jess said.

‘Oh, yeah, my mom loves him,’ Elaine said, rolling her eyes.

‘And who wouldn’t,’ Elaine’s mom quipped.

‘It’s just some special,’ Elaine said, ‘c’mon.’

‘Actually, can we watch it,’ Jess said, ‘I don’t really feel much like studying.’

‘You wanna watch TV with my mom?’ Elaine asked sceptically.

‘I just think I need a brain break,’ Jess lied.

‘Well okay,’ Elaine said, handing her a glass before she took a seat on the couch with Jess following quickly after. She sat down, her eyes transfixed on the screen at every movement as she tried to commit every second of footage to memory.

She only looked up as commercials took over, as did Elaine whose eyes seemed to have glazed over the entire time, though her attention caught as her mother said, ‘Lainey do me a favour and get me a soda?’

Elaine grumbled but didn’t protest, instead choosing to linger by the doorway as she said, ‘you want another drink?’

‘Nah I’m good,’ Jess said meekly.

‘And a sandwich too,’ her mom called as she left the room. She watched her go, sparking up a cigarette, before her attention fell on Jess who shifted awkwardly under the scrutiny. 

'So what do you think?’ Elaine's mom asked.

‘It’s pretty cool,’ Jess said.

‘Well at least one of you thinks so,’ she said taking a drag of her cigarette before chuckling, ‘it’s not really Lainey’s thing I’m surprised she sat down to watch.’

‘It’s better than studying,’ Jess said, falling quiet for a moment though her mind was whirring with questions, ‘so have you always been a fan?’

‘Oh yeah, since his very first record,’ Elaine’s mom mused, ‘he was my favourite singer. Well, he still is.’

‘He sounds pretty good,’ Jess agreed.

‘Still sounds the same. Looks just as good too,’ Elaine’s mom mused, ‘with those gorgeous blue eyes of his-‘

‘Mom!’ Elaine protested as she entered the room, her cheeks aflame at her mother’s gushing. As she placed a soda and a sandwich into the older woman's hand she rolled her eyes electing to ignore her daughter, ‘what? Oh come on Lainey you used to like him too when you were little! Not that I can blame you he’s so handsome. Don’t you think Jess?’

‘Uh, yeah he’s pretty handsome,’ Jess said, suddenly feeling awkward and hoping that Elaine’s mother would lean into something more substantial.

‘Though of course I prefer his hair like it used to be. Damn near cried a river the day he shaved it off for the army,’ she said taking another drag of her cigarette.

‘He was in the army?’ Jess said, her awkwardness pushed away by intrigue as memories flashed in her brain like fireworks like they had been for the last week or so whenever her mother mentioned something that could be a clue to aid her in this mission. Army. She remembered that. She remembered wondering about him, her father, what he looked like, where he was only to be told that he was a charming and handsome man who’d been in the army and had left before he could ever find out about Jess.

‘Oh yeah,’ Elaine’s mom said, ‘damn near broke my heart.’

‘When was that?’ Jess pressed.

‘Oh, about fifteen years or so ago,’ she replied, ‘right when he was getting famous. It really hit his career hard, I mean, he’s been in films but it wasn’t the same. In fact us fans only really started seein' that old magic come back when he started performing in Vegas.’

‘He performs here?’ Jess asked agog.

‘Yeah,’ her mom replied, ‘at the international. Starting a run this week I believe.’

‘Wow,’ Jess said.

‘Yeah, and you can go and see him for the hundredth time, right Mom?’ Elaine said before turning to her friend and saying, ‘can we go back to my room yet?’

The commercials had ended now meaning that he was back on the screen just as hypnotising as before and yet Jess didn’t feel as glued to the screen as she had been before because now she had more hope than she’d ever had. Her father may have been unreachable before, shipped off to the army, but now she knew exactly where to find him.

She just needed a ticket.

ELVIS TAGS

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996 @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters @velvetelvis @jaqueline19997 @elvispresleyxoxo @amydarcimarie @presleyenterprise @everythingelvispresley @elvispresleywife @lillypink @richardslady121

[always-coffee]

The Kind That Might Drown a Man

I have a piece of art that I love. It’s a siren, clearing drowning a man. It was painted by an artist who I considered a friend, who I spoke to nearly every day for three years. He used a rather artsy photo I had taken as a reference photo, with permission. (If we are mutuals, you may ask to see it.)

I was elated when he wanted to use my photo, to make art out of a piece of art (photos are art) I was proud of. I said yes, immediately. He was going to do a series of mythological characters, and I'd be the perfect siren.

When he showed me a photo of the finished piece and also when he posted it, I was happy. Then, he sent the original painting to me as a gift. I was over the moon. It felt cool. I felt cool. Seen, valued. It did something to combat an old wound of mine.

In the past, artists—people who I thought were friends, but who were only ever actually interested in getting into my pants (nooooope)—had asked to paint me. Reference photos were even sent. But the interest quickly fizzled when they realized that what was on offer was only friendship. It wasn't good enough, so those connections faded like sun-seared fog. No one is required to make art of someone, but when something flattering turns out to be wildly disappointing it is, at best, weird. At worst, it’s dehumanizing.

But back to the point: my friend made gorgeous art out of a photo I dearly loved of myself. It felt good, and I felt special. Fast-forward to years later, and I have severed that friendship. It turns out that, despite all the conversation and all the camaraderie and even the co-working we did together, he was a liar.

There were things he casually and purposefully lied about for no discernible reason. And when I discovered the truth, it gutted me. It felt worse than a romantic breakup in a lot of ways. I don’t like being lied to. At all. Tell me the awful truth, and I’ll deal with it. But purposefully, repeatedly, and knowingly abuse my trust? Absolutely unforgiveable.

I’ve spoken elsewhere on the internet about the details of the lies—the utter pointlessness of them. (Imagine, for instance, lying about who redid the landscaping in your backyard.) It was during the pandemic where we began talking in earnest, having entered each other’s orbit through a mutual friend in the art world. He seemed safe. We shared good news with each other, vented about the insanity of the world, swapped cute animal photos and funny memes. But the context of it all was impossibly and completely different than what I was told. The curated image I was given was a lie. Things were deliberately kept from me, information was twisted and distorted—and the kicker was that he lied to other people about me.

Again, for no reason. We’d done professional work together, and it was very public! And very fun at the time. But he apparently claimed we weren’t friends. The moment things started to feel wrong between us was easy to brush aside. Easy to explain away. Easy to understand. He was stressed, job hunting. I was dealing with myriad stresses of my own. No relationship is unmarred by life’s more than occasional weirdness. It’s easy to shrug things off. To ascribe to something banal, innocent.

Then, the truth came out. And honestly, I’m still sifting through the ramifications. The ways the deceit stuns me, even now, not just in the moment. How it felt peculiar to suddenly and wildly not know someone.

In the moment, I took the piece down. I put it away. I didn’t want to look at it. I couldn’t. It was too big of a reminder. It felt like mockery. Because what was it all about? What was the point of any of it? (These are questions that will never have answers.) I was—and still am—angry. Angry at the broken trust. The carelessness of it all. The cruelty too, so unnecessary in its articulations.

But what do I do with the art? Initially, I thought I’d burn it dramatically like Sylvia Plath and the letters. Or chuck it in the trash, as symbolic gesture of getting rid of it all, of closure. (Because there is none of that here, and that is fine. I do not want it. Nothing said could fix or mend or ease.) Getting rid of it, however, feels wrong.

It’s still beautiful. It’s still art. It’s still me.

But for now, it won’t hang where I can see it. It will not be a reminder of heartbreak and betrayal. It will not sit a monument to a lost friend, who was such a small, sad creature in the end. Because to act with such malice—and there was malice in the threads of it—is not the act of a kind or good heart. And I do not have space in my life for anything other than warmth and genuineness.

Someday—I don’t know when—I’ll put it out of the dark and either hang it up or give it away. Someday, maybe someone I love will want it, and I will want to give it to them. A moment of captured beauty, the kind that might drown a man—offered with love.

I’m glad I didn’t burn it, even as I am glad to have burnt that bridge.

[takeasadsongandanalyzeit]

12 Bar Blues in F

This recording is the second instrumental from the April/May 1960 home recording made at Forthlin Road (also known as the Kirchherr Tape). It's a little long, so be warned. Though, @peaceloveandstarrs did such a fantastic analysis, you'll want to listen to every second so you can follow along.

This seems to be an improvised blues instrumental. We can hear a steady bass, keeping a good rhythm (more evidence that Stu is unfairly maligned as a bass player). Our working theory is that Stu played the bass kind of how Ringo plays the drums, there to serve the song. We both think, had Stu actually tried, he could have become an incredible bassist. Stu was just talented, at everything, so even though he wasn't trying very hard, it's still more than just passable.

There are at least two other guitars, possibly three.

We had some discussion about who was playing lead guitar. We originally thought Paul, but this was 2 years after Paul flubbed the solo in Guitar Boogie, so the likelihood he'd take lead was low. It's therefore likely George. It's interesting hearing him mess with some chords higher up the neck. It shows the beginning of Geo's talent pretty well, we'd say.

But neither of us our instrumentalists, so we're gonna leave the rest of this analysis to someone who is.

@peaceloveandstarrs has been kind enough to write another guest post about this song:

This is definitely improvised going by how rambling the intro is and how it takes them about a minute or so to finally settle into a key signature. As with the last one I listened to, I wish the balance had been better, but again, I get that the technology at the time made sound quality less than great. There’s a lot of really neat lead guitar stuff, like the picking around 1:23 and then the bit around 1:32. I’m not a guitarist, but I know that any technical playing on any instrument takes a lot of skill and practice. So whoever was on lead on this, my kudos! (Not that that means anything 62 years later, ha!)

The bass is definitely keeping a steady tempo, which is what’s expected of a bass player when there’s no percussionist. Stu isn’t the best bass player, but he’s not as bad as people make him out to be. I love all of the chromatic runs from whoever’s playing them, like the one at 3:37. They’re such a good transition between different melodic ideas or the start of a new chord progression. The random bits of dissonance, like the one at around 5:02, are jarring now that the key’s been settled. But hey, it keeps the listener on their toes and attentive.

I love the moments where the whole thing really comes together and the individual lines fit together perfectly, such as around 5:40. And just when that settles in, you get another cool, technical line at around 5:56. Whoever is playing this (Paul? I can’t tell individual playing styles apart yet) made it sound easy. As an instrumentalist myself, technical runs always give me the most difficulty, so I can say pretty confidently that it wasn’t that easy. At least not right off the bat.

There’s a neat little groove at around 7:33 in one of the guitar lines. It’s simple, but the way it’s played (first note accented, slurred into the second part of the line) makes it have a kind of jazzy feel. I listened to that one a couple of times just because I liked it. And we get to more technical bits in the guitar line around 8:24 or so. It’s a repetitive line, but it’s so clean-sounding. Again, not easy to do. I have a hard time articulating quickly and making it sound that clean! (Granted I play clarinet, so I’m not sure if I can really compare it to a guitar…)

It sounds like Stu is trying to bring the chart to an end around 9:20 and the rest of the group didn’t get the memo! That’s a classic ending bass line, descending the scale to the tonic tone (so in this case, he landed on an F since the piece is in F… music theory classes coming in handy finally!) The last 40 seconds or so sounds like they’re trying to figure out how to end the chart. I sort of wish they’d all ended with Stu’s little descending line, but hey, the way they end it works too. Overall, it’s a nice little improvisation with lots of signs of developing talent, especially in whoever played lead guitar.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Bisclavret. By K. L. Noone. JmS Books, 2019.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: fabtasy, novella, lgbtqia

Part of a Series? No

Summary: A very long time ago, in the very old forests of Brittany, a werewolf loved a king ...

The Lord Bisclavret has a secret. A family enchantment. A wolf’s curse, transforming him when the moon is full. He hopes to be a good lord for his people, and he’s always been a loyal king’s man, even if the new king is inexperienced and scholarly. But one betrayal might leave him trapped in wolf-shape forever ... unless his king can save him.

Andreas would rather be a University scholar than a king, and has no interest in a royal marriage -- desire’s always come slowly, if at all. But he loves his kingdom, so he’ll try to protect it, even when rumors of a man-killing wolf spread across his land. He’ll pick up a sword and go out on a hunt, and hope to keep his people safe.

But the wolf has the eyes of a man, and the scholar-king’s knowledge of folklore and fairy-stories might break a werewolf’s curse ... with the help of love.

Very loosely based on the twelfth-century story by Marie de France, Bisclavret features a bisexual werewolf lord, a demisexual king who’d rather be a scholar, some exasperated men-at-arms, and very important stolen clothing.

***Full review below.***

Overview: What should I say? I see a retelling of a beloved medieval poem, I read it. It's even better if the lgbt+ subtext becomes actual text! But lest I get carried away, I should explain my rating. While there were some aspects of this novella that I liked (the queerness, the lyricism, etc.), I couldn't help but feel like I wanted a little more out of it. While I liked the focus on Bisclavret's relationship with the king, I ultimately wanted Noone to build up the love and intimacy more. Thus, this book only gets 3 stars from me.

I do think, however, that Noone could have taken the opportunity to show a little more than tell. As it stands, it seems like we are told a lot of things - that Bisclavret feels free while hunting, that he feels hurt by his wife, that he fell in love with the king. I personally would have liked to have been told less and let the narrative speak for itself.

Writing: Noone's prose is very lyrical with a lot of descriptions that border on the sensuality of poetry. It's not so lush that it bogs down the narrative, but rather, it evokes such emotion and passion that it's easy to feel sympathetic towards the narrator, our titular Bisclavret.

I also wasn't the biggest fan of the present day interrupting the story. This book is written from the perspective of Bisclavret, who is sitting down to write out his story. Every once in a while, the king will interrupt, and Bisclavret will write something like "he's looking over my shoulder" or "he said X, and I said Y." I think these interruptions could have worked better if they were in deliberate conversation with what they were interrupting or if there was a stronger focus on the craft of storytelling, but the interruptions don't feel purposeful than for any other reason than to make sure we're aware that the two are in a relationship. Maybe that will be ok for some readers, though.

Plot: This book loosely follows the plot of the original Marie de France lay, which describes a werewolf whose wife betrays him. Bisclavret must turn into a wolf three nights per month and can only turn back if he has his human clothes. When his wife finds out about his lycanthropy, however, she enlists the help of a greedy baronet to steal Bisclavret's clothes and trap him in his wolf form.

After spending some time as a wolf, Bisclavret is hunted by the king. Sensing that something is different about this wolf, the king spares Bisclavret's life, and the two work together to change Bisclavret back into his human form.

While I liked that Noone made the homosocial subtext of the lay and made it homoerotic text, I do wish more time had been spent on exploring how the king and Bisclavret fell in love. As it stands, it seems to just happen, in part because the king is beautiful and soft. While the two spend a lot of time together, their intimacy never seems to build; it just exists from the get-go. As a result, I didn't really have a pressing desire to see Bisclavret "cured" and I didn't think the story was all that suspenseful. I would have rather liked to see exactly how the two develop an emotional intimacy, especially when Bisclavret spends so much time as a non-human. What things does Bisclavret do that make the king trust him more and more? What makes Bisclavret realize there's more to the king than his title? There's a little of that from time to time, but I never got the sense that the relationship was building. A little more suspense would have gone a long way.

Even so, I did appreciate that Noone managed to communicate Bisclavret's feelings of hurt and betrayal without replicating the misogyny of the original lay. It would have been too easy to paint Bisclavret's wife as a schemer or a villain, but that doesn't happen. Rather, the wife is presented as having done wrong, but humanized so she is not completely to blame.

TL;DR: Bisclavret is a charming little novella that is sure to resonate with fans of the original lay. Although the characters don't develop in a way I'd like and there wasn't enough suspense and growth for my tastes, I appreciate the queer representation and the lyrical prose style that makes the story feel like a fairy tale.

Characters: Bisclavret, our narrator, is very sympathetic and compassionate. I liked the way Noone presented him as both someone who could see the best in people (his wife included), but also, someone who could feel very deeply (including betrayal and hurt). I also liked that he was not too angsty about his enchantment; while he did enjoy some aspects of being a wolf, he also wanted to be human, and not having to choose which form was "better" was refreshing. I do wish more had been done to develop Bisclavret, though; after his wife's betrayal, I was rather hoping his character arc would involve learning to trust again, but Noone seems more interested in using Bisclavret to create a certain fairy tale-like atmosphere.

The king, Andreas, is also fairly likeable in that he's also compassionate and feels deeply. I liked that he was demisexual, which meant most of his attention was focused on developing and emotional connection with Bisclavret, not a physical one. However, like Bisclavret, he doesn't really evolve much, and I think it was a real missed opportunity.

Elaine, Bisclavret's wife, is surprisingly sympathetic. Although she's not as fleshed out as Bisclavret and Andreas, she does have motivations and manages to be guilty of betrayal without being held unreasonably responsible. I liked that her character was rooted in fear rather than vanity, and I liked that a lot of the sexism from the lay was eliminated without completely tossing out Elaine's agency.

[prosperdemeter2]

Something I find so interesting about your rewrite series is how different the relationship between the whole entire 118 is. Like, its more co-workery than family like in some aspects than the show and it does really make sense considering that Buck and Eddie kind of “supported” (😏) each other before the original quad of Buck, Hen, Chim, and Bobby really kicked off.

I took it as a bit of a challenge to wonder how different things would have been if Buck wasn't quite so desperate for a family, if he was already on the way to building one in season one before he met the team. So he already has a strong, solid foundation with Eddie by the time he starts working with them and because of that, he doesn't make quite the same learning curve mistakes that he did in canon. There's a layer of privacy around his interactions with Eddie, even, that clues the team in that he's a lot more private about things that matter than he originally seems (think about how none of them knew Maddie existed until she showed up - none of them knew much of anything about Eddie or Chris or Maddie until Buck chose to reveal it).

But also I don't... I think we forget a lot (when looking at season six) just how much the team had to GROW in order to be the family they are now. They weren't really a family in the first few seasons, they had to learn to trust each other implicitly and completely. I think it's easy to look at all of the dynamic confirmations we got confirmed last season (the emphasis on Buck and Hen’s friendship, Buck’s place in Eddie’s life, Chim and Hen’s closeness, Bobby and Buck having a parent/child relationship, etc) and forget that we didn't have those the entire series.

That isn't to say that the family wasn't there before, just the fact that this family means so much because of the way they've all grown together. And we don't have that growth yet even in canon come season three ("who does Buck have?" If that wasn't a trigger to get them all more involved in his life idrk what else could be 😅).

They were all friends before they were family.

[fierykitten2]

So my current (as of writing this and btw I am writing this first part before attempting the plan) headcanon about F-Zero heights is Pico is the shortest member of the Original Four and the humans of the Original Four are in age order (Falcon is second shortest because he’s youngest, Dr Stewart is second tallest because he’s second youngest, Goroh is tallest because he’s second oldest and then there’s Pico). But I’m not 100% certain and I want to have a height comparison chart to compare their heights. Luckily, I have thought of a way to do this — I download their models from The Models Resource (where they will be ripped directly from GX) and import them into blender (modern problems require modern solutions). While I’m there, why don’t I do the X gang, AX gang and Deathborn as well?

I’m just gonna take a guess that the model heights are actually gonna be more accurate to their art from the SNES game — this means Falcon and Dr Stewart will actually be the same height as each other while not only is Goroh not the tallest, but he’s the shortest. Why have I been headcanoning that he was the tallest? Because I’m pretty certain I read somewhere that in a demo of GX he was taller than Falcon. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve headcanoned him as being the shorter one

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for (probably not but it's what this post is about even if it takes two and a bit paragraphs to get there):

Okay, slightly annoying thing here - the "centre" of the models is at their waists for some reason (I'm used to working with models where the centre is by their feet. Paws actually, usually when I play around with blender I use the Eeveelutions). This makes it really annoying to try and measure them. From what I can tell, Falcon and Dr. Stewart are about the same height but honestly, it's hard to tell. I think Robert is slightly taller. Not really surprised to be fair, it's pretty easy to assume he's taller than Falcon partly because he's thinner but also partly because he doesn't tend to manspread when standing up. Now that I think about it, with the exception of Dr Stewart and Kate Alen (and maybe a few others but those two are the ones I've noticed) it's kinda weird seeing them all with their legs together. Anyway, I got a bit distracted there. Pico and Goroh at first look like they're taller than Falcon and Dr Stewart but at the same time, their feet end higher up so it's harder to tell. Moving away from the Original Four for a second, I'm honestly surprised how tall Michael is. He's about three quarters (at least) of a square taller than Blood Falcon and therefore also Captain Falcon and I never really noticed the height difference between the two of them. Zoda also appears to be quite tall but his model wasn't present on the Models Resource so I had to get it from a OneDrive folder so the scale might be a little off but it was uploaded by the same person so hopefully scale problems shouldn't be an issue here. Also Phoenix's model came with two capes that sorta occupied the same place which is why he's got a weird checkmark pattern on his cape. The shortest seem to be Dai, San and Gen (Dai's the red one right? Because I think Dai's model was given Gen's name and Gen's file was given Dai's name. I think (although I could be wrong) that San was correctly named). The tallest is harder to work out. Excluding hair, horns and other accessories (not the right word), Deathborn, Bio Rex, Black Shadow and Spade all seem to be competing with each other for who's the tallest and honestly, the only one out of the four that surprises me is Bio Rex. Others like Draq and Don Genie come close. Another thing I'm kinda surprised at is the fact that Digi Boy (who is 8 years old) is one and a half squares taller than Dai Goroh (who is 10 years old). I mean, It's not unusual - I've (almost) always been shorter than my sibling who happens to be 2 years younger than me but still, it's a surprise

Okay, when counting the squares, Falcon is about 9 and a quarter squares tall, Dr Stewart is about 9 and a half squares tall, Pico is just under 10 squares tall and Goroh is also just under 10 squares tall. So much for my headcanon that Pico was the shortest of the Original Four. Also, I knew Falcon was the youngest of the Original Four, I didn't know he was the shortest as well. They're all between 9 and 10 squares tall though so they're still pretty close in terms of height

What we've all learnt from this is that I get surprised when humans are shorter than younger humans but sorta expect that in aliens

[inamckxox-blog]

Production Design: Not as easy as I thought...

"Choose an interior space that you have access to and take some still images of how it naturally looks. Using colour, production design and light you are now tasked with creating a visual mood for the space in 5 photographs. Think about how you can dress the space and introduce colour with props as well as with the use of light. Take notes about your approach, include things like intended colour pallet, time of day, sun position and a basic floor plan. You may also complete this exercise as a short film which is no longer than 1min 30 seconds."

-Andrew O'Connor

With the learning we had done in class, it was time to apply it to our own projects. Originally, I had big plans for this exercise, far too big for a 1min30sec film. I wanted to be overly ambitious because I thought it would be simple, which I quickly realised, was very wrong.

As soon as we had read the brief at the end of class, I had my idea. I had been wanting to change my bedroom around, so I thought, if I stripped everything from the room and then built it back up as the set design, I'd be set. New room design, easy completed exercise, no problem. Except for the fact that I thought this wasn't enough so I wanted to make it stop-motion. Now, do I think thats a bad film idea for a fun personal project? No, I think it would be great. However, for a class exercise I realised later on that I was trying to do a little too much. Also, thinking back on it now, I'm not sure what kind of emotion I would go for. Doesn't really hit the mark for the assignment.

I think on it for a bit and have told a few people about the idea, no objections. Only thing, I was a one man group. This was ok with me, I didn't mind, but when Joseph and I were chatting about the project and we found out we were both partnerless, we decided to team up. Just gave us both a bit of help with everything. We met up for coffee to discuss everything, and I pitched my stop-motion idea. Joseph really liked that idea, but suggested the concept of doing a different emotion. "Uneasy," he said. "Maybe a sleep paralysis type of thing, with the stop motion." Absolutely brilliant I thought, little bit different and gives us a lot to mess around with. We fleshed out the idea a little more while we were there and planned to send each other photos of our respective flats to see what space would work better. The basic concept was to do some sort of stop motion to show that the room was slightly off, things wouldn't be in the right place, or maybe just incorrect in some way. A crooked poster, a teddy staring only at the camera, things upside down, honestly whatever. Just to make it seem like it wasn't quite right, it made you... uneasy. :)

We ended up choosing Joseph's flat, as you can see in the pictures above, and decided not to go with my flat because it usually gets an insane amount of natural light, which wasn't the plan for our shoot. Joe's flat obviously has this very dark blue wall that was unavoidable so it was going to be a major part of our colour palette. We also opted to use the yellow couch rather than the brown one because we were worried that when we used the dark and shadow-y lighting that we wanted for the film, it wouldn't be contrasting enough and it would melt into the background. Additionally, the lighting and candles that we ended up using were quite yellow and worked quite well together from all three sources. After that we decided to include the music posters and bass to provide a bit of context clues about the character, which coincidentally all ended up having red elements to them. Because of these three colours showing up consistently throughout our set and set dressings, they ended up being our core colour palette, and I was honestly quite happy with how they worked together. Using these primary colours together makes for very distinctive breaks within the image, for example, the yellow circle created by the lamp, or the red rectangle on Owen Neil (our actor) made by the blanket and his shirt. Even the dark blue wall in the background is apparent behind the posters.

With our shoot date coming up quickly and two very busy schedules, we were trying to establish a time that would work for both of us as well as an actor who would be available. Luckily for us, Joseph's flatmates and some other friends were booking equipment and we decided to book out one set and share it between us as it would be in the same location and it made it easier to get access to the rather limited supply that the school had (not a dig at the uni, just the reality with 80 other 3rd years). So off we went, picking up the equipment all together and transporting it to the flat. This also kind of helped budget-wise as we were able to split the cost of the taxi we used, and with all of us being broke uni students, it was a win.

All of this resulted in us filming on Thursday, October 12th. I walked into Joe's flat and we got straight to work. Other objects were required to fill the space and provide this sense of uneasy that we wanted, and it just so happened that I had a skull about the size of a small suitcase and some rather large candles from Ikea that when paired together made a very ominous looking backdrop. It was a bit out of place as it is just a random massive skull in the back of the shot but I thought it still made for an interesting piece of set dressing that furthered our desired emotion. We also included a number of posters with music artists in them, one of the larger ones being Jimmy Hendricks. The poster makes it appear like he is looking at you so we put it behind Owen's shoulder to kind of get this idea that something was watching him, and with our chosen lighting and after the edit, it was a dark and creepy addition to the set. Following along with that music idea we had a bass guitar beside Owen and a guitar behind him, trying to imply a little more about our characters personality. Bass guitar, famous musician's posters, guess he likes music then. We also decided to include a coffee table with a lamp on it to imply a light source within the frame. It filled out the righthand side of the shot a bit more and gave the room a bit more of a 'homely' feel. Looking back on it, including a glass of water or a mug might have added a bit more detail to it and while it is a relatively insignificant object in the room, it would have made it feel more lived in. Overall Joseph and I agreed that this was where we lacked in terms of our production design. Although we had our unnerving and somewhat strange/creepy objects, we fell short on the items that would have made the space more believable as an actual home. We did include a cuddly toy, Bongo, seen in the bottom righthand side of the master, but it didn't quite fill that idea of a settled space. The final thing we added was these false plants that hung from the ceiling light, which honestly, wasn't one of our more thought out choices. When I went looking for things that would help fill the space in some way, they seemed like a good idea. Funnily enough though, those plants kind of helped me realise the thing were always told as film students, which is that if something doesn't have a purpose, then it shouldn't be there. This is sort of a universal rule in all of filmmaking, like it applies the same way to production design that it does to script writing, or even a visual approach. Those plants didn't really have to be there, and all they were doing was distracting from the things we did put there purposefully. Wild how that works.

So the shoot went great, little bit longer than we expected but we ordered a pizza we remained in high spirits. Owen sat like a champ while Joe and I took turns setting up shots and discussing what we wanted to achieve visually. I really enjoyed having the double DOP dynamic, and we bounced off each other really well so the process went smoothly. Once we had wrapped I took all the video files and we divied up the editing jobs. Joe had a 48 hour shoot challenge that he was doing that weekend so we agreed that I would cut the clips together, send them over to him, and he would finish the picture-lock and sort out the sound design before sending it back to me and I would finish up the grade. Considering we had no audio recording of any sort other than the camera's audio, Joe did a pretty impressive job of whipping up some sort of sound design. While it wasn't perfectly blended, it was effective none the less. I didn't do much in terms of the grade, just boosted the yellows and reds to make them more pronounced and increased the shadows in an attempt to make it even more unsettling. Joe then came up with the title 'When I Wake', so I slapped a title card and the credits on there and we sent it off to our lecturer.

Overall the experience was one of creative collaboration and learning, and I was very pleased with the final result. It was cool to see how a space can be changed by a combination of lighting, set dressing, location and so on. Some questions that I still have are; does the art department set up the scene just once or do they have to change it with every camera movement or new shot, where do you draw the line between proper dressing and over dressing a set, and is it easier to build a set from the ground up or to find a location that suits and go from there? All of these will be answered in time once I gain more experience but I'm keen to learn more.

[polarseven]

Continued from my previous post since I kept typing but it wasn't super relevant to the original post

Especially if I don't get enough attention, I can get inside my own head and can spiral, and it's gotten to a point where after maybe two or three dates I tell them this, and let them know, and it's almost always "Oh don't worry I do too!" And it's never. Fucking. True.

Break bc length I guess.

I'm spouting this all on a kink post because I was to explore kink so badly, and I get how it works. Effort on both sides. Boundaries. Discussion. Honesty. Ask what they need. Ask your dom for their safeword during scenes too. It's not focusing on the sub, they're not the only human in that room. And I want someone who will help me navigate these things! I have many things I want to try out and just...can't. I don't know how much I enjoy things until I do them irl and I have so many people tell me what a good partner I am both before dating them, while, and AFTER dating them. And they never stay. And sure it's a mutual breakup a lot! And for healthy reasons. But usually thats for my health. Like, theyre bad at communicating, they say theyll get beyter, and dont. My last ex wpuld tell me we would hang out snd then ghost me thr next day and hang with other friends because they forgot. And given several chances they didnt fix it enough for it to not hurt me, so I had to end it. I feel like in just...unlucky. like they're not bad people, I'm still friends with them and a few of my other exes, but it just doesn't work in relationships. I worry I'm the common denominator but when almost every partner is telling me that's not the case, I communicated well, then whats the problem???

I get it, I'm young, someone will come eventually yeah yeah. It's still hard though. I'm 23. My longest relationship has been 8 months, and about 3 of those were long distance. All my of friends either have had at least one long term relationship or are married, nobody seems to bounce around and date a lot of people like I do. And there's not anything wrong with it, but...it feels weird that I'm the only one I know that does it. Maybe other people do and they're ashamed about it ans don't talk about it? Whatever the case, it's just...a weird feeling. I see people talk about having experiences, whether in long term relationships or kinks or whatever, and it just feels like I'm missing out.

I just want someone who will help me explore, together, with me. Someone who will want to be around me, enjoys talking with me, someone where it doesn't feel forced. It seems so easy for others? Everyone seems sucessful, either online or in person. And I know I'm probably the majority here. I've seen people struggle for years and years and then suddenly they find someone, and at least for a length of time it clicks. But it's just so weird for me. It feels different. Is it the autism? I can never tell how hard I'm masking, if I even am, and I don't know how to interact with other people online. I'm better in person. But in person, there's just not as many trans people. Or it's so much harder to connect. You have to pretend to be nice and friendly until you get close, and then you both slooowwwwly come out of your shell, and it feels like such a fucking waste of time that people aren't more sincere. But I can't even seem to find the people that are like me, that feel the way I do. I dunno. I deserve to sadpost and vent.