#getting shwasted

[sugawara--san]

drinking game but it's just watching knb and taking a shot every time:

aomine says the only one who can beat me is me

akashi says i am absolute

anyone mentions light/shadow

[ladybugsimblr]

Architectural Digest Fall/AD Open Door Part 2

Bailey: "We call this area Squad Headquarters."

Quinton: "It was important that all our offices and workspaces stayed together even though we made big changes to the layout of the house."

Bailey: "The twins actually spend more time in our offices and their rooms now that they are older. So the little princess basically has her own study."

Quinton: "She allows the fam to bring their laptops in and get work done with her."

Legend: "We have to bring snacks though."

Lyric: "And agree to be students in the various classes she offers."

Bailey: "Don’t forget by appointment only…"

-

Q's Office

Squad Study/Playroom

Bailey's Office

Cover Story - Part 1 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

[tillman]

parents please check your childs candy there is report of sickos putting medieval literature fragments in candy this year.

[manitapaleta]

GASP ✨manni sketch requests✨ - can't get better than that. If I'm still in time, maybe nick making the biggest hearteyes at lark while lark does something unbelievably stupid/reckless? <3

Every good “boys night” has to end with a trip to the ER 😤😤😎🔥💯✌️💁‍♀️💀⚠️

[trans-yllz]

this is not to say that wei wuxian doesn't very much have a drinking problem, but it's weird to me when people write/draw him getting Drunk. we see him get actually drunk exactly once, and to be fair, at that point he is exiled, coreless, just found out his beloved sister is getting married and he can't go to the wedding, and said what was essentially his last goodbye to the love of his life. I'd probably get drunk too

[tewwor]

he's just ken! — @b0kksu

A single note drops and he goes unnervingly still. G. Crystal clear and oh-so familiar, his knuckles almost bleed white around the mic. He sits up straight ( as straight as he can in this inebriated state ), and stares forward at the blinding screen, laser-focused. Locked in. His other hand, the one that'd fallen limp atop his lap, livens to gesture at his sole company. To sing along when those famous first words count down from 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

"When I was.... a young boy......"

[revelboo]

I love that Shwasted Megs and Starscream are pretty much playing chicken over a passed out human and Soundwave is just like "Statement: Fuck This." And left to go do whatever. Maybe also read. Maybe to just be like "the human will be fine, those two will be fine. I need to go like. Have a fucking Dad Nap or something. you all exhaust me with the constant Bullshittery." and just go sleep.

Soundwave is just exhausted and over dealing with the other two. He currently is the sole braincell of the Decepticon force

Everything Is Alright- Outtake Pt 3

Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Sleepily squinting as you wake up, you’re aware of a low rumbling thrumming through you and a weight on your lower belly. Something draped across your chest that tightens and you blink in confusion at Megatron sprawled between your thighs, chin resting on your belly as he rumbles. Head tipping back to look at Star rumbling at your back, optics focused on Megatron and lip curled to show denta, his thighs caging your hips. And you really hope they’re not about to maul each other with you in between them. Why is Megatron even still here? He can’t be still drunk, right?

• Optics sliding from Starscream to you, Megatron has to swallow a laugh at the look on your face. Hadn’t been able to leave after finding you in Starscream’s arms. Hating the Seeker more than he’d thought possible in that moment, because that you love Starscream, really love him, is worse than all the betrayals and murder attempts somehow. And he still can’t make himself move, can’t walk away. Hating you a bit, too. For making him want things he shouldn’t. Making him weak. A part of him wishing he’d ended you that day he’d found Starscream and Soundwave hiding you. Everything would have been so much simpler.

• “Don’t you have something better to do,” Starscream hisses, voice a rasping growl as you grip his arm. Knows the warlord is just doing this to torment him. To ruin this. Because Megatron can’t stand for him to be happy, to have time with you. The fact that the other mech can’t really harm him making him bolder. Because like it or not, they’re stuck with each other. And he’s through being ignored. Megatron’s going to listen.

• Where’s Soundwave when you need him? Normally, he’s swooping in to pick you up and drop you into his cassette compartment the moment these two get anywhere near each other. And you could use a rescue right now as Megatron wraps his servos around your ankle. Because pinned between these two? Not fun at all. Especially as Megatron smiles slowly, expression predatory. Nope. “You’re squishing me and I have to pee,” you blurt out and Star noisily clears his vents as Megatron’s expression blanks. “Like right now.”

• Letting out a harsh laugh, Megatron pushes up to his knees and you lurch to your feet and point imperiously to your little set up on Starscream’s desk. Demanding and he remembers the feel of those little teeth sinking into him. Mass shifting back, he’s aware of Starscream doing the same and he smirks. Afraid to be small and helpless around him? Good. Offering you his cupped hands, he ferries you to your little washrack area and you dart inside. Leaving him with Starscream and he’s aware of the fact that he’d taken care of you without hesitation. Without thinking. That the Seeker had seen him. “I hate you,” Starscream growls, and he smiles.

• “When was your first betrayal. I forget,” Megatron snarls, not even looking at him. And his wings flick. The question throwing him as he tries to remember when he’d first realized Megatron wasn’t what he’d been promised. Wasn’t a leader, but an obsessed, slighted mech, driven by that obsession with the unfairness of his situation. Unable to see the future because of it, constantly chasing after short sighted revenge. When had the disillusionment really sank in? The realization that Megatron couldn’t let go of his own petty fixations long enough to lead them to a better future? Can’t even remember anymore. ‘When you first failed all of us,’ he counters tiredly.

• Stretched out on his berth, Soundwave reaches for an energon goodie and pops it in his mouth, chewing slowly as he flicks a servo against the datapad to change the page. Feeling Ravage stretch against his neck, rumbling lazily. Thundercracker’s book the perfect way to relax even if he feels guilty for leaving you with those two. Especially since you’re sparked. Though he knows neither of them will dare do anything to stress you or his sparkling. Not after last time. And maybe those two will actually talk things out, though he doubts it as he reaches out a thought until he finds your frustration and discomfort and his servos flex, tempted to go rescue you. But needing Megatron and Starscream to work things out because his job would be so much easier off those two aren’t actively sabotaging each other. Because the biggest threat to the Decepticons isn’t the Autobots, it’s those two.

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[miraculan-draws]

Spawn Astarion in the epilogue no longer debuffed by the tadpole gets absolutely shwasted and messily attempts to "sneak up" on Halsin/Minsc/Karlach what have you. They ignore him bc they think he is trying to jump scare them. But he is actually going to Pick Them Up.

[rizaposting]

@scienceoftheidiot and @baudleaires tagged me to do the last line game! Thank you friends!

rules: post the last line that you wrote and tag someone for every word in the line.

I wanted to fudge this a little because this is so STUPID but it's the last thing I wrote. So.

Riza almost offered that Chris should have come to wake her, but stopped herself just short when she realized that would mean the matriarch would have seen her lying on her son’s bed with her entire chest exposed and her son’s face pressed into it as he snored and drooled on her.

THIS IS SO STUPID FUCK MEEEEE I also wrote it at 2am. This is part of my and Phoenix's rp. Royai (mostly Roy) got shwasted at the Madame's bar so they stayed the night in his childhood bedroom. They started to have sex but only got as far as getting Riza's top and bra off before Roy fell asleep on top of her mid-foreplay. I'll kill him. He will never see the light of day.

There are too many words, and I feel like I'm late because I've been stuck in the work dimension, so I'm going to cop out and say that if you haven't been tagged yet OOOOOO YOU WANT TO DO THIS SOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!

[ryttu3k]

Neeeew D&D liveplay with Neil, Sam, Theo, and Devora! Let's hang out in the Waning Light! Here's a highlight reel!

Zombie: "In life, I was an actor -" Astarion: "Oh gods."

Karlach immediately sticking her head under a tap marked 'ambrosia'. Lae'zel: "That's my Karlach :)" [video]

The zombie knows how to make cocktails. Wyll orders four.

Astarion calls for a huddle. Karlach remembers she can touch people and goes in for the SQUISH. Astarion: o.O

Astarion: "You know I'm of the ~undead persuasion~, ah, he's a zombie -" Karlach: "Is he like a cousin of yours?" Astarion: [ASTARION DISAPPROVES] [video]

Lae'zel: "Kill it and move on :| "

Dev rolls a 1 on her Investigation check :D "A nat 1, then, istiks :| " [video]

Sam only gets a 10 on her Constitution saving throw from the ambrosia. Astarion: "We're all going to die. :)" Karlach: "It was worth it :D"

Wyll hands his brain cell to Karlach so she and Astarion can investigate and he can get SHWASTED with Lae'zel. [video]

Hellspawn moment~ Karlach is literally glowing, Astarion just passes a CON saving throw. Astarion: "She's a friend." Karlach: "She's a hottie!" Astarion: "She's a friend. She's a friend, I tell myself yet again, she's a friend." [video]

It's very odd seeing Astarion being the sensible one XD Investigating the drinks with the classic :p thing. Sam: "That's for Tiktok!" [video]

"...that's not good!" [video] [video]

Neil: "Are they losing control in a fun way or in a "haha we're all gonna die" way?"

Lae'zel fails her CON check and starts seeing Wyll in a new light. Karlach: "It happens to us all, Lae. It happens to us all :')" Wyll: "*slides on sunglasses* The Shade of Frontiers is in the building 😎" [video]

Oh god they're all hitting on each other XD Karlach has got very emotional. Lae'zel wants to literally climb inside her? "You're alright too, Astarion!"

Astarion: "Tav? Where's Tav? Tav? …Okay, it's down to me to save the party. Again." [video]

Lae'zel: "Give us a hug, Astarion." Karlach: "Give us a hug, Astarion." [video]

Lae'zel: "I love you all :|" [video]

Poor Astarion is Not Having A Good Time XD;; Attempting to nonchalantly parkour.

Wyll: "I could have done with a kebab, but this will have to do…" [video]

...whoops!! [video]

Astarion: "This group is full of weirdos!!" [video]

Vlaakith is into Madonna apparently! (But really, very bad time for Astarion 😔) [video] [video]

Karlach finally realises that Astarion being that rattled is Probably A Bad Thing and goes to look for him, telling the others, "Let's go find Star" and I goddamn melt.

Yeah okay it's personal XD;;

Panto moment! [video]

Time to roll Initiative 8D Karlach hits a 20!

Karlach: "I'm just gonna attack it with a greataxe. Come on, let's go!" DM: (fascinating, evocative, and slightly disturbing description) Karlach: "…still gonna hit it with a greataxe :D"

Yeah looks like Arcane Trickster is Astarion's canon subclass at this point, and also has Spider Climb. Love that for him XD [video]

Sentences you never expect to hear from Lae'zel: "Let's see what this PhD in Rizzonomics is all about, Wyll!" [video]

Dev: "I didn't have a chance 😔"

Word of Neil says poison test is now canonically :p forever. [video] [video]

Dev (the D&D newbie) successfully calculates her constitution saving throw without Neil's help! "I don't need you any more! …Please don't leave me ._."

Sam: "Is that technically a hug, though?"

DM: "You find yourself hugging the piece of bark that's in the core of this thing -" Karlach: "Gonna make me think of Halsin, now." Lae'zel: "Halsin? :D" Karlach: "Oak Father preserve us~" [video]

And it's Wyll with the steel chair rapier!

Astarion calls his mage hand Little Star 😭

Astarion: "Here's the plan! First, here's a picture of me :D That's my little mage hand that I call Little Star. We get the things, we pour the things into the big bucket, we… do something with that… and then we succeed and you lift me up and tell me how much you love me because it's such a good plan :D" Lae'zel: "Will it get rid of my fangs?" Astarion: "Yes!" Lae'zel: "But I like my fangs. They give me what I call 'the edge'." [video]

Dev: "Ooh, Speak with the Dead, Speak with the Dead!" Neil: "He's not dead, he's just in a jar." Dev: "Speak with Animals, Speak with Animals!" Neil: *quietly loses it*

Astarion has a sentimental moment 😔 RIP Vincent. [video] Followed immediately by…

Sam: "Karlach's now just ripped a page out of one of the old tomes and - *nose blowing sound* Blowing the last bit of myconid out of her nasal passages :) …I don't like books. Destroy them all. It's canon, Jeremy."

Astarion gets a Karlach hug!

Karlach: "I'm just gonna pick Lae'zel up and throw her over my shoulder and go." Lae'zel: "Karlach, please! :| …Please~" Karlach: "Attagirl ;)" [video]

Everyone is crying now! (Except Lae'zel, who's just salivating.)

Astarion 😭

"Karlach's going to go sit next to him and hold his hand. Not look at him, just hold his hand." "So is Lae'zel." "And so is Wyll, just a little - (Sam: "His third hand!") - shoulder rub and just group hug them all." wtf I'm gonna die 😭

*lies down face first on the floor*

[onegianthotmess]

“Oh, Great Thorn Fairy, forgive me for the sin I’ve committed this previous night…”

“Snappy, you’re a grown man. You can have sex if you w-”

“I’ve committed a carnal sin. The sexual act should not be done until marriage. How can I be an example to my grandson when I…”

Peaches sighed and rolled her eyes as Baul continued to mutter to himself, still processing what happened the previous night. While neither him nor Peaches could really remember what all had happened thanks to the influence of the alcohol they both drank the night before, one thing remained quite clear; they’d apparently shared a passionate night together.

After years of not having contact and being changed by marriage, children, loss, and the arrival of grandchildren that were basically the lights of their lives, both former soldiers had changed in many ways. When they finally met up again in the world Peaches had escaped to so she could start over, it felt like they’d met completely different people until they got comfortable around each other again and started bantering like they used to, only with less jabs at each other.

It felt nice, with all the reminiscing and telling each other about their lives after the war and such. And apparently they had more in common than they thought. Both Peaches and Baul were widows, they both loved watching over and reading to their grandchildren when they were little, they both preferred coffee to tea, and they both enjoyed chess and cards.

And apparently they still had a lot of sexual tension that neither of them saw or took care of until they both got white girl shwasted, to put it nicely. And now, here they were; in Peaches’s bedroom, both sitting naked in bed, and processing what had happened last night. Well, Baul was, at least.

Peaches sighed as she got up and yoinked Baul’s button up shirt from the floor, “Oh, quit your worrying, Baul. We’re both adults who can make drunk decisions once in a while. So don’t get your croco-panties in a twist, sweetie.”

“We had intercourse outside of marriage,” Baul enunciated. “How are you so calm about this?”

“Because both times and I have changed,” Peaches replied as she finished buttoning up the large shirt on her before turning to the man who was still sat in the bed. “A-And I wouldn’t say that I…didn’t like it. But if you didn’t like it, I suppose…”

“I didn’t say that,” Baul murmured quietly. “I’m just…miffed that I didn’t lead up to it…properly is all.”

“Oh, so you wanted it, Snappy?” Peaches asked teasingly, scooting closer to the taller fae. “And you wanted to court me? Is that right?”

“We-Well, I…I, uh-hm,” Baul sputtered out as he tried to explain himself, much to the shorter woman’s amusement.

After a moment, Peaches laughed and kissed Baul to shut him up. After pulling away, the woman revealed her sharp teeth as she grinned, “Just take me to dinner already, old man.”

“Where—ahem—Where would I even take you, Peaches?” Baul asked after he processed when the woman beside him had said.

“Take me to Briar Valley or ask Divian if she knows any restaurants that we’d like,” Peaches replied with a sigh. “If I’m being honest, I miss the strangeness of Twisted-Wonderland.”

“All…Alright, then,” Beaul murmured as Peaches got up and moved towards the door. “Where are you going without any undergarments?!”

“I’m going to the kitchen of my house to make breakfast?” Peaches replied with a playful yet sarcastic smile. “My son isn’t here, nor is my granddaughter, so I could walk around buck-ass naked if I wanted to. But, I’m not sure of I closed the blinds last night, so I put on a shirt at least so the neighbors wouldn’t see everything I have a to offer.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Baul sighed, punching the bridge of his nose.

“And you fucked this ridiculous ass, didn’t you, Snappy?” Peaches laughed, putting a hand on her hip as she looked back at Baul, who quickly flushed at the woman’s blunt and, in his opinion, incredibly scandalous reply. “Now I’m gonna go close the blinds and start making breakfast. You can borrow a shirt from my closet since I have a few oversized ones of my own. And remember that no one else is here, so you don’t have to get fully dressed, Baul.”

And as Peaches left, Baul began to seriously question his tastes in women. It wasn’t until he heard Peaches’s high pitched squeal while he was pulling on a shirt that was long enough to cover his underwear and as she babbled out something about a spider in the corner and for him to come and kill it that Baul thought that maybe his tastes, while questionable, weren’t the worst.

But still very, very questionable-

And that brings an end to Shiptober 2024! I hope all of you enjoyed my posts this month and I look forward to next year!

Shiptober Taglist: @heartsparkart01, @astxrims

Let me know if you want to be a part of the Shiptober Taglist!!!

[six-teenblue]

Why is three beers and a shot of jamo enough to get me shwasted now. Literally i didn’t know what i had til i lost it

[abracatastrophi]

If anyone's interested in watching cartoon Xmas specials with me and my homie @aztrokraut then comment and she'll add you ! We're getting shwasted on google meet tonight 🫂

[mokagachas]

obebe getting absolutely shwasted

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

My decision to get absolutely fucking shwasted election night was the right one

[reddragonraz]

NEW BOY: Adriel Azarias

Born of a fae goddess and an ancient dragon, he’s a dragon of many forms. He was cast down to earth in order to acquaint himself with mankind and grew to love them as much as they love him. He found that if he grants them power or protection, they’ll give him all the gold and praise he could ever want and tbh what a sick deal for a dragon.

Some humans are greedy however, after throwing Adriel a huge banquet and getting him absolutely shwasted they cut out his crystalline heart and sealed him deep under the keep, drawing on his power and wealth.

Its fine though i’m sure someone with a shovel will dig him up at some point.