#gg is fun to troll

[l3l-diving-service]

GG: Three words. Say them and I’ll be yours.

Hayako: Three words.

GG:

GG: I know you’re shy, girl. But don’t worry, GG has you covered. I know you’ve said “I love you” in your heart.

Snorkel: *Confused doggie noises*

[lilgynt]

honestly i just like gg seeing all of that and knowing i’m not crazy and these things happen

[thewertsearch]

There’s Gamzee, offering us a timely reminder of his inexplicable importance to the story. In light of his recent descent into villainy, it's safe to say that his great influence over Homestuck will be far from benign.

Look at him up there - a great eye in the sky, gazing malevolently down on our Heir of Breath. What's your DEAL, Makara?

EB: hey jade, are you there? i have a computer now. EB: this boring guy keeps blinking at me though, and it's weird.

Don't question the CrOSby’s design decisions. It is flawless, and I won't develop in anything else.

GG: dave was able to set up as my server player GG: he is building up my house right now so that we can deploy some equipment up there […] EB: what is the equipment you're deploying? GG: im not sure! GG: something to do with cloning i guess? it serves some purpose in my quest as witch of space GG: a nice troll named kanaya has been advising me on stuff about that

Right, so Kanaya’s started helping her, but they haven't had the Bilious Slick conversation yet.

This Jade's from partway between Jadesprite's prototyping and the frog breeding. It's hard to tell if she's entered her First Gate and met her Consorts - but since Dave's building her house above where her Gate would be, she must have either used it, or skipped it.

GG: a bunch of trolls are not nearly as bad as i thought GG: even karkat! he has been helping me too… sort of, hehe EB: he has? but i thought he "hated" you! GG: oh yeah, he said plenty of stuff like that, but i dont think he ever actually meant it

Oh, he meant it, alright – just not in the way you’re thinking. ♠️

EB: he is a pretty great guy. i am really looking forward to more of his outbursts, especially his first conversation with me, which i am to understand will be legendary. EB: but we shouldn't tell him we said any of this, or he will be "furious"! GG: heheheh GG: shhhhhhhhh

I love how the Prospit siblings have absolutely zero reverence for Karkat’s rage. They just treat it like a fun game.

Can we get Jade into the Fruity Rumpus group chat, actually? If she teams up with the boys, they'll drive Karkat completely up the wall - although, since he's currently halfway to the ceiling already, we might want to hold off until after Murderstuck.

EB: you will never guess what i am doing right now. EB: go ahead, try to guess, you will not succeed. GG: ………….. GG: whoa :O GG: john where did you get that nice flying car?????? EB: oh god dammit!

For a moment, John forgot that he was playing the game of a million guides.

[rainbowsky]

Please stop, I beg y'all.

Aaaaarrghhhhh....

I've been seriously considering blocking some Anons, or closing my inbox to Anon asks. I don't like doing that to turtles, but I'm getting past frustrated and feeling drastic about it. A huge percentage of asks I've been getting are from turtles who do not curate their online experience and who constantly bring Twitter drama and anti messages to my doorstep and I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again.

I can't believe the volume of asks I've gotten about this stupid F'n Douban page, which tells me 100% that a decent number of you are not staying in your own lane!! The only people talking about this (fake BS) are antis!! Stay out of solo hashtags on Twitter!! Yes, that includes GG and DD's individual names. BLOCK AND IGNORE.

If you can't curate your online experience, that's your problem. Don't make it mine, or anyone else's on Tumblr.

You know what bugs me the most, is that some of you seem to put a lot more weight to what those antis who are trying to hurt you say than you do to anything me or @accio-victuuri or any of the other turtles who try to help you are saying. Why do you bother asking any of us anything if you're going to ignore the answer?

Look, antis are liars. I've said this a thousand times.

Douban is a USER EDITED site. Don't let yourself be trolled by haters. Stop buying into their narrative. They're trying to spin a negative story for you and you're getting sucked into it, and it's so frustrating.

If people keep writing me about stuff like this I'm going to close my inbox, or else take my own advice and use the block button. Stop hand-wringing about what idiots are saying on Twitter, or if you're going to do it, please don't do it in my inbox.

Focus on GG and DD and their works. Isn't that what we're all here for? Fandom should be fun!

Whatever you focus on, that's what your experience will be. Just remember that. Choose wisely.

For the next couple of weeks no one is allowed to send me negative asks. If you have any happy, positive questions related directly to GG and DD or their works, please feel free to send them in.

[you-hate-time-travel]

! SAHCON ENJOYER! What panels are you going to? -ultimatelyunassuming

a very special Fuck You to tumblr for booting me out of this ask at first

in short, none. i'll be watching the archived versions afterward <3

here's the ones i'm likely to check out, colored for readability: Gardening with GG and Becquerel!, Hiveswap Act 3 Rockin’ Fun Fest, A Very Homestuck Puppet Show, A Bucket’s Worth of Troll Biology, Aspects, Do They Even Act Like Kids?, Ask the Beta Kids, Dirk Strider Takes you Fishing, Michael Guy Bowman Tells you About His Music, and 10 Most Memorable Homestuck Moments. Check it out, it's a reminder for me to actually check them out instead of forgetting. Kinda wish there was something abt Problem Sleuth or the carapacians (or even the felt), but hey, Troll Biology!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cyber-corp]

A summary of Homestuck: Acts 2-3

by someone who keeps reading it despite warnings

Part One: Jade

I'll summarise the intro to Act 3 and then delve into the two newly introduced character's stories individually. If I write any more, my gecko head will implode.

Let's start... somewhat simple.

We get a written message from John's nanna (whose ashes fused with the kernelsprite last time) in his dad's copy of the Colonel Sassacre book, saying that he's becoming wiser and can grasp the nuance of the book. There's also a lot of stuff about a prophecy, and Timeless Expanses, and Kernelsprites, etc. After that, we get the true beginning of Act 3.....

an eepy.......... This whimsical girl's name is Jade Harley (most definitely not Farmstink according to her letter). She's got quite a bit of interests, most prominently her small garden and fauna, I think.

After proving that she is the best character with her amazing flute skills and actually doing the asinine requests the audience tells her to do, she goes upstairs to her bedroom.

She plays some bass, cooks up something for her pet and then pesters her friends for a bit (she is GG, the green text chatter from earlier in the comic). This is set sometime at the beginning of the story, as she pesters John with a birthday message.

Rose pesters her about if today is the right day to play a fun game that would help "answer some questions". Jade gives some optimistic word of advice, then hops off Pesterchum and descends to the lowest floor of her house (house? observatory?).

She encounters this thing. It is hideous and I'll leave it at that.

After getting a "troll message" (I wonder if these guys will appear later?) she scampers into the grand foyer and gets herself a rifle. For being the "cutesy" character, she knows pretty well to keep herself strapped.

After an encounter with her strict robo-granddad, she goes out on her big ol' island to find her devilbeast to feed it, with no such luck yet. She notices that the birthday package from John finally arrived near the crumbling monument. But before that, she has to get past the devilbeast itself, Becquerel!!!!!

(These battle sequences are getting real elaborate, you can tell Hussie's putting a lot more effort into these)

(We also get a song composed by Andrew Huo and a complete unknown. I wonder what he'll do later?)

After a wholesome bonding moment between Jade and her favourite beast, she goes eepy yet again and Bec takes her back to the bedroom, where she begins to dream through the power of her Dreambot.

She doesn't open this package just yet, as what she does is send the package to her past self by sending it to the Wayward Vagabond in the future, who promptly gives it to Peregrine Mendicant, who promptly sends it to Jade's past self. Wibbly wobbly indeed.

Anyway, back to present Jade. She's got a whole dream city to explore!

She encounters a dream friend, who kinda looks like Peregrine? Might be.

Afterwards, Dream Jade decides to inspect the neighbouring tower, home to Dream John Egbert, who is sleeping.

She wonders if he ever ended up getting his birthday present from her, but she better get inside before the Dream eclipse occurs (is this another world entirely or just a dream hub?)

She pesters John about the gift before a large noise occurs outside her house, which she goes to investigate but Bec stops her from doing so (deeper motivation maybe?). After that, it's revealed that Jade's gift was the one in John's dad's car which was dropped off the cliff some time ago.

(this one) John then catches up Jade on everything that's happened to him thus far (meteor blowing up his neighbourhood, can't find his dad, Rose losing battery power, etc.) Jade encounters John in the Dreamworld, then they both wake up simultaneously.

She then pesters John in the real world, saying that

GG: well..... GG: its hard to explain!!!GG: but...GG: i know what it is now!GG: and now i know everythings going to be ok!!!

Apparently she's had quite a few premonitions, and this very dream suggests she needs to go to the Mystic Ruins. Harpoon in hand, she makes her way down.

She places John's present in an exact spot and writes a letter to the future WV. The present suddenly disappearifies due to what happens in the future.

Jade leapfrogs her way to the main tower of the ruins (complete with beautiful artistic rendition by Hussie) and heads inside. On page 1148, she finds a flower timer thing that is definitely related to SBURB, watches it appearify Dave's copies of the beta, and that is where her part of the story ends for now.

Asides from her being a cryptic, Jade is such a fun character to watch. Her excited reaction watching the Tangle Buddies, her rather eccentric bedroom, and the weird cyberspace she gets into while on Pesterchum are all very good examples of 'show don't tell' instead of 'this person is very weird and whimsy'. She is showing signs of knowing more than she lets on, which will be interesting to see play out later.

Anyway. Be the cool guy.

My man.

[musicaltrash]

came across u in the wild im curious if you havent answered already but what was the situation with the splatoon manga?

hahaha let's just say there was a discord server. right. and the mods were a bunch of immature 13 year olds (or probably younger) who trauma dumped and found a way to hate everyone. ahaha

it's a funny story now so I might as well tell :3

ok so y'all know there's a big splatoon discord server (.gg/splatoon) aka splatcord, well there was a channel for the splatoon manga which a bunch of us talked in. one day someone gets the idea to make a server specifically for the manga (the manga is called coroika so that's what I'll refer to it by).

the new server was part hangout part roleplay. I won't mention which character I was, but it was a chill place for like 2 weeks.

one of the mods from splatcord joined bcuz they liked the manga, tho ig a lot of splatcord made fun of the manga so they didn't feel comfortable chatting about it.

I didn't pay too much attention to the bullshit happening in the coroika server for a bit, but this splatcord mod did. apparently some coroika ppl were being complete assholes and I think racist but idk, so splatcord mod called them out on it and there was this huge fight and divide.

now I dont remember this much, I think I was asleep when it happened tbh, but I think a lot of splatcord regulars raided the coroika server or smth. but it was all just huge fights and whatnot.

splatcord mod I think had some self esteem issues too, cuz we were playing splatoon as a big group and they always just started acting so sad and essentially went dark on discord just cuz me and one other person were tryharding. me and that other person played competitively, so like I wasn't really tryharding I was just good /hj but anyway splatcord mod did that basic 2020s thing where u go dark on discord with a sad status yada yada.

now the coroika server was like super strict on who they were allowing in, and I decided to be a dick and troll a little and I got banned, so I had an alt join and trolled with that a little. I used that alt to see they were saying mean things about me and a bunch of others too lol, and maybe I deserved it slightly for the trolling but not that much jesus. I wasn't the one being a shitty mod now.

honestly I have no idea where the server is at now, and it's probably deleted. I haven't been in splatcord in a while (tho I do have a pinned post in the coroika channel, unless they deleted it within the last year ahah), and also old splatcord mod doesn't mod there anymore. but don't bring up coroika server on the off chance that someone recognizes it (tho they probably won't. for what it's worth, my time in the server was like a 1 month time span, which is very short for all the bullshit that happened)

I just think it's funny to look back on now lmaoo

[charmixpower]

Issue Twenty-Eight: Witch Love

I love how she's sitting on a statue to brood

It's so amazing

That line from his dad implies he knows who Bloom is but he doesn't

Also this dynamic between him and his father and his Dad's rant about the importance of power explains so much about Darko

They really thought about how this kid grew up, huh

ONDNAKSJS!! Okay imagine Darko in the show even more now!!! Instead of the bet it's this and he's a fake out love interest and maybe he's trying to find out what happened to his old friends the Trix

Ugh it would be so much fun

I love this "yes we can be in a relationship but I have to be the winner" from both sides, it's great

If you literally just picked a powerful dude to date. You know choosing men to be in love with is a symptom of compulsory heterosexuality, right????

They're acting like an actual Court, that's so funny

And Icy looks so smug fnsjsnsnsj

Shes doing a toat and everything, are y'all getting married???

His–his fuckin necklace!!!! His necklace is a–

Ahem, this is compulsory heterosexuality on both sides

Tho Icy looks genuinely happy, good for her

Oh that's fucking adorable

I cannot see Icy listening to someone else bitch for a long time, Darcy yes and maybe Stormy for someone she really likes, but Icy

But I CAN see Darko bitching about something random for hours and hours and doing anything to keep the person who listens to him

He seems like he doesn't have many genuine connections in his life

God their so adorable

Icy wants someone to genuinely love her so bad in the comics, and I love how neither of them are all that pressed about the black mail

They've killed people before, what's a little blackmail between friends? It's such a funny dynamic

This is so sweet, he is trying to save her 💙🩵

Darko is trying to have a redemption arc while being in love with Icy, fucking gg dumbass

The fact that Bloom even actually met up with this dumbass is hilarious

He really does care about Icy, so cute

It's really fun seeing other people utilize the trolls!

I love battle butlers

This moment was so much fun fbajsjsjej

HE EVEN FIGHTS IN A FRUITY WAY!!!

Amazing Darko is so committed to his aesthetic

Darko doesn't know a life outside of his dad but he's gonna miss Icy so much

What a dramatic bitch, I love her

[kausatstolar]

11-20

former | latter

Alright. It's been a very long time since I've done this, largely because life got in my damn way. It's about 18 days until the first anniversary of sovstuck. Isn't that cool? Let's go back to visit our favorite jadeblood. I think I like the panel/text/analysis format, so I'm going to keep up with that.

RETRIS: Investigate poster.

You're not sure if you can consider your JOB a HOBBY, but you entertain the NARRATOR anyway. You are an ACTOR, of the TRADITIONAL LIVE-ACTION BATTLEGROUNDS ROLEPLAY variety. It is a controversial, culturally Carapacian pastime. Lights. Cameras. Action. Bloodshed. Real people died in the making of these productions. Some by your hands.

There's something delightfully unsettling about this. Retris's hand being the only troll hand, grasping the crown. The monsters strewn across the counter. The offhanded comment on the fact he's killed some of these people.. How well acquainted was he, with the hands in the poster. How old is this poster, on that note?

RETRIS: Stare at your hands.

You take a moment to contemplate the amount of times you've washed gore off your carapace. Some were people you've loved. You think it's fine. They'd all agreed in advance that that's how they wanted to go.   You try not to think about it too hard, but it gnaws at you sometimes when the moon is hung high. Some of them were so young. Just like you.

Guh. I really like the composition of this panel. It's so fucking dreadful. He looks so unhappy here. You think it's fine. They agreed in advance. You try not to think about it.

RETRIS: Get immediately distracted by the SHRINE behind you.

Oh fuck yes. Disregard all previous thoughts. It's EVANGELION time. You’ve been a hardcore fan of the series NEON GENESIS EVANGELION since you were a child. It was a formative piece of media to you. It has informed many aspects of your being. You have a particular fixation on the relationship between Evangelion's IKARI SHINJI and NAGISA KAWORU. This is your shrine dedicated to the pairing. KawoShin, it's called in fan spaces. Not that you've ever participated in those. Every Evangelion fan except for you and your BEST FRIEND is annoying. You'd like it if they got blown up with lasers. In fact, you feel quite the same way about-

Nothing better to wipe away the pain of all the people you've lost along the way than blorbos! He's so charming here. His artstyle is really charming. Look at that smiiiile. I'm sure that his love of NGE and KawoShin will not be exceedingly relevant, and has absolutely nothing to do with the way I format these. I feel the urge to blow everybody but you and your bestie up with lazers, though.

It's a sound page...!

Oh?

Fun first sound page! Wonder who's blowing up his DMs?

RETRIS: Investigate desk.

I understand him. That's all I can say here. ...Is that a KawoShin mousepad?

...What a wonderfully drawn hand. What on earth is making him hesitate like this?

Oh. That's all he was doing.

Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up-

NERV, not KawoShin. Cool. What's all the hurry? Surely nobody's dying? ...Surely.

There we go! Ah, yes, good ol' VRISCORD. Everyone's using this handy little messaging app these days. Probably on account of it coming pre-downloaded on literally fucking everything. Your username on the platform is azimuthAnomaly -- don't tell the internet -- and English m4y not 6e your first l4ngu4ge, 6ut, you 4re trying your 6est. It seems a couple of your FRIENDS have been messaging you while you were out.

Oh. Yeah. I understand. Nice to get a view of who he talks to.

RETRIS: Commit favoritism.

You check on your best friend first, as it should be. She comes before everything else in the world. Including yourself.

[PRIVATE CHATLOG]

Have a strong feeling that "Including yourself." is going to come back and bite everybody. God, he and GG are SO fucking cute together. I love the camraderie they've got here. Ret-HIIssss.... The friendship they have reminds me a little of me and my bestie. Heehee.

[zwienzixes]

Watch_Me_Work.mp3

last painting of 2023, first painting of 2024, cos it bled over a bit (2... hours.)

I listened to Watch Me Work from Trolls 3 basically on repeat while I was working on this.

For fun, here's a look at my inspo board for this piece, some of which the OG source can be found in my inspo tag

Most of these are just in here for Vibes, I have very little reference material outside of the 2 I'm redrawing

Here's the sketch ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵘᵖˢⁱᵈᵉ ᵈᵒʷⁿ

Here's a tiktok of my process though, if you like seeing that

ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ʰᵒʷ ᶜʳⁱⁿᵍᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ

GG 2023

[iowacosediments]

I am So Baffled by whoever this person is that found you THROUGH TWITTER????to anonymously BASH YOU??? I came across this on the for you feed and read the updates up til whatever time it is now. I am so sorry you've had SA experiences and I hope that you are doing ok right now ❤️ The fact that they got mad over a ship between Fictional Characters, who I love btw, is So Wild. Tumblr loves all ships that make people happy and feel comfortable and they're coming here From Twitter. Sad For Them RIP GG gamer, they tried and failed to land the punch. OP you are so slay keep up the amazing art and have fun with your ships! We love (insert character here)xLink ships 🥰😘 I just recently played TP again for like the 3rd time and I agree, Midna and Link have Wild Chemistry and I'd love to see them together. Ilia too!!! Her and Link are so cute and sweet! I love they're cute lil relationship throughout the game. Canon or not canon Let Us Have Our Fun Go Off And Have Your Own Sad Time Elsewhere Troll. There's so many options!!block the tag(s), black the person (evidently they have) just SCROLL PAST??? anyways have a good night op much love to you and your ships past, present, and future. keep slaying 🤟

Anon I have no idea who you are but omfg thank you so much :,3 💗

I try really hard not to cause problems online and so far as you’ve seen it hasn’t worked, I tried for it not to effect me but it’s kinda started to. I was about to go to bed when I saw this, genuinely thank you so much for this! This means a ton for me! 💗

I’ll keep creating my art and posting ships no matter how cracked they are!

Also glad to see some twilight princess love 💕

Again thank you anon :3 this genuinely made me cry happy tears. Thank you for your random act of kindness I swear it really does make me feel a ton better. I really hope people around you are as kinda as you are honestly you deserve it! 💗💗 lots of kudos 💗💗💗

[windy-trickster]

Imma just make a list of other moots and talk about them <3 🍓 - @chirp-trolls Hey Spoots <333 You're dorky and friendly and I love that about you. You've helped me a lot w/figuring out chars and classpects and things like that. Your designs are always killer and I love seeing your goofy little fellas on my dash. Thank you so much for being my friend 🍓 - @latkestein Joan Joan Joan!!!! So talented w/both art and music! I still can't thank you enough for that beautiful fansong you made for Ninara!!! You're silly and I adore that about you. Keep up the great work and remember that you're loved and cherished by the people around you &lt;3 🍓 - @duskhunter713 Gretch and GG? My love for them will never falter. I really wanna see more of your art on my dash someday man. I love getting to interact w/you and having our dorky little gray aliens talk to one another. 🍓 - @rabbit-trolls Bestie you're so strange you're so funky but you're so cool bc of it. I love your art style, I love how your art style is so fluent as well??? Like you're really good at copying art styles and capturing the energy of them all. Never a dull moment when talking to you. And thank you for all of the art you've made for me <3 🍓 - @moonie--loonie You. You're cool. You're awesome. I love talking to you. I love your art style. You're so expressive!!!! Your colors and lineart always look nice. I also love getting sprites from you man. Always perfection. 🍓 - @ask-swagger-dagger-trolls Man idk you're pretty freaky??? You're kinda weird??? /pos. Banger character designs, killer art style. You're so goofy and strange to talk to as well. Never a dull moment with you around! 🍓 - @bloodydumpsterrp Idk if you'd consider me a mutual or not but I like to think we're at least friends!!!! [Only if you want to be obviously, no pressure]. Akasha is so cool and a genuinely interesting char. I love your art style and getting to see it on my dash is a blessing. I really wanna see a friendship between Cervin and Akasha bloom if you'd be interested <3 Also I look at that Anahit fanart you made and I cry tears of joy 🍓 - @trollbreak Hi Jonah you silly goober!!! Adorable art, hilarious chars, fun designs! You're an absolute delight to talk to as well!!! Someday Imma doodle one of your silly little aliens!!!!! Someday!!!! I love any art you've given me for the time I've known you. It's always so soft and so so cute looking. I love that my silly ocs are friends w/your silly ocs as well :)

[goldenguillotines]

🍓🍓🍓 for three mutuals?

Random three.. trying to not be predictable

@minggki I think Yomi has a very infectious personality!! They're very positive and always full of enthusiasm and its fucking awesome. They're sweet, full of ideas and has such a unique art style!! You can really see the inspo they take and how they kinda just. Really push it to something that's their own!! It's amazing.. and there's always just the most unique combos of colors and jewelry?? Very much makes gg brain go POG

@sunnetrolls Sunne is always super easy to speak to.. I've never felt like I've missed something or that they're upset with me? It's super easy to speak with them and just.. very wholesome/fun? Feels safe!! I also wanna say how Sunne renders is super unique and rlly rlly nice. You can tell the amount of time and effort they put into their works and It's admirable! There's always a lot of subtle details or attention to detail put in wirh textures!

@norts-trolls Nort is super super sweet, really fun to talk with just casually and she's also super fucking funny. It always feels nice to have a lil joke and talk about nonsense/pos .. and Norts art is OUGH.. SHAPES... Nort knows how to do some very striking work- be it with the pixel brush or full rendering her illustrations.. They're always so dynamic and full of life!! the colors are always delightful..

[thewertsearch]

GG: ok, so what is the plan? […] CG: OK WELL THE MOST IMMEDIATE POINT OF BUSINESS IS CG: YOU SEE THAT GLOWING BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU? […] CG: YOU NEED TO TURN THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OFF.

The Fourth Wall again?

So far, it's really only been relevant to the non-canonical Hussie interludes, but maybe it’s dangerous for Watsonian reasons, too. Gamzee certainly seems interested in it...

It did belong to Jack originally. Maybe Derse can still make use of it, so it needs to be disabled before someone like DD gets any clever ideas.

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT. CG: BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCREW WITH. […] CG: THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

Oh, I get it. Karkat’s taking a little break from canon himself, and explaining to the audience that too many meta shenanigans would eventually ruin the story.

I’m absolutely in agreement with this. A fourth-wall break in the wrong place could completely ruin the comic’s dramatic stakes. This is a goofy comic, and we have fun here, but going full Deadpool would tear the plot to shreds.

CG: […] MY ROLE AT THE MOMENT IS TO ACT AS A SORT OF GO BETWEEN FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE SELF CG: TO HELP ALONG THE PROCESS OF MAKING THESE PLANS CG: WHILE YOUR FUTURE SELF IS DELIBERATELY VAGUE ABOUT SOME STUFF SO AS NOT TO "JINX" THE CONCEPTION OF THE IDEAS IN THE FIRST PLACE I GUESS?

I like this idea. It allows Future Jade to guide her past self’s actions, but filters her guidance through a layer of indirection. Present Jade will be getting some help, but she'll still be able to come up with her own original ideas.

Jade really doesn’t want her plans to be stable-looped into existence, and I can get behind that sentiment, too.

CG: MEANWHILE TIME IS KIND OF RUNNING OUT HERE, WHERE I AM CG: WE'RE COUNTING DOWN TO SOMETHING CG: SOMETHING LOOMING ON THE TROLLIAN TIMELINE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS CG: AND MY TEAM IS KIND OF FALLING APART CG: I'M COMPLETELY LOSING TRACK OF EVERYONE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

It's been a while since we've done a Veil roll call, actually. Let's give it a whirl.

Karkat is coordinating with Jade on what may or may not become the Scratch plan, and trying to keep tabs on his deteriorating team.

Vriska and Terezi are fighting a proxy war using John and Dave respectively.

Aradia has exploded, and the status of her ghost is currently unknown.

Kanaya is trying in vain to dissuade Rose from the trajectory that Scratch and the Gods have set her on.

Gamzee has recently developed a hatecrush on Dave. He also has some huge hidden importance to the comic, and he’s going to be attacked close to the end of the countdown.

Eridan is planning to confront Jack with his 'awesome' new Science Wand.

Tavros is on his way to confront Vriska and there's like a 98% chance she's going to paralyze him again.

Feferi is consorting with monsters in her dreams. She's also destined to be killed, but her assailant is currently unknown.

The only trolls who (as far as we're aware) aren't up to something are Equius, Nepeta and Sollux.

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 3250-3253

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

CG: ATTENTION HARLEY.

CG: PLEASE STOP WEEPING WITH AND OR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SELF PROTOTYPED LUSUSPRITE

CG: STOP DOING ONE OF THOSE THINGS AT LEAST

CG: LONG ENOUGH TO ANSWER ME.

CG: PLEASE.

CG: PRETTY POLITE EARTH PLEASE.

CG: WHO AM I KIDDING

CG: I'M WASTING MY TIME AGAIN

GG: karkat!!!!!

CG: WHOA FUCK

CG: YOU ANSWERED ME, I DONT BELIEVE IT

GG: yes

GG: im going crazy here

GG: i never thought id say this, but im actually almost relieved to talk to you

CG: WHAT

CG: YOU ARE

GG: or really ANYBODY besides that lunatic

GG: SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!!

CG: OH YEAH?

CG: HOW SO, EVERYTHING HERE APPEARS TO BE PROCEEDING RATIONALLY.

CG: WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM

GG: are you joking??? look at this mess!

CG: MESS? JADE, NOW IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE *YOU'RE* THE ONE WHO'S JOKING.

CG: YOUR HIVE BALL ROLLED DOWN A BEAUTIFUL WINTER HILL, AND YOU ARE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME WITH FAMILY.

CG: YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FILL ME IN ON THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM.

GG: okay...

GG: i made the mistake of prototyping my dream self who has been dead for years

GG: and shes completely crazy and theres no talking any sense into her

CG: HMM.

GG: hmm?

CG: YES. "HMM."

GG: hmm what

CG: HMM AS IN HMM INTERESTING.

CG: AS IN HMM HOW VERY, VERY FUCKING INTERESTING INDEED.

GG: :\

GG: what are you getting at???

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT AM I GETTING AT.

CG: I'M GETTING AT WHATEVER HMM INTERESTING GETS AT.

CG: PLEASE GO ON, I'M LISTENING TO YOUR PROBLEM.

GG: well...

GG: i mean, i understand why she is upset

GG: but she is completely inconsolable, and wont listen to reason about anything!

GG: and i guess i could deal with that but...

GG: the frustrating thing is that shes actually me :(

GG: i really dont think i would act like that

CG: HMMMMM.

GG: will you stop saying hmm!!!!!!

CG: OK, FINE.

CG: WHAT OTHER SEQUENCE OF LETTERS WOULD YOU HAVE ME USE TO REGISTER MY PROFOUND FASCINATION.

GG: fascination?

GG: what do you find so fascinating?

CG: I'M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND.

CG: I AM BEING SENSITIVE ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF A RAGING FUCKASS, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT.

CG: YES, IT IS, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST ASK FUTURE YOU, ASSUMING THAT CONVERSATION DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY AS WELL.

CG: NOW TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

GG: my feelings?

CG: YES, HOW DID THIS MAKE YOU FEEL.

GG: well...

GG: at first i was sad

GG: because she made me remember all the sad things that just happened

GG: but im trying to be strong about all that so we can keep moving forward

GG: and if i can then why cant she?

GG: but she just went on and on

GG: and i started getting angry...

GG: ugh i have never been so angry in my LIFE!!!

CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

GG: I SAID STOP SAYING FUCKING HMM

CG: o:B

GG: what does THAT mean?????

GG: is that supposed to be someone with a halo and goofy teeth?

GG: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?

CG: NO, NO

CG: YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT BACKWARDS

CG: THOSE ARE MY HORNS

GG: oh

GG: haha oops

CG: OK SO IF I'M UNDERSTANDING YOU

CG: YOU'RE ANGRY AT A VERSION OF YOURSELF FROM A DIFFERENT POINT IN TIME

CG: BECAUSE SHE'S BEING AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL SHITHEAD WHO IS BASICALLY THE MOST REVOLTING SELF LOATHING PIECE OF FILTH YOU HAVE EVER MET

CG: AM I FOLLOWING

GG: yeah, pretty much

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY HMM AGAIN

CG: BUT COME ON

CG: DON'T YOU FIND THE SITUATION TO BE JUST THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTING?

CG: I MEAN, CONSIDERING

GG: considering what??

CG: IF I RECALL, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO FROM EITHER OF OUR PERSPECTIVES THAT YOU WERE RIPPING ON ME AND MY SMUG WINDBAG FUTURE SELF FOR ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER

GG: oh come on...

GG: this is NOTHING like that!

CG: HOW IS THIS NOT LIKE THAT

GG: because she's...

GG: well

GG: she's ACTUALLY INSANE

CG: OH I SEE, AND ALL THOSE IDIOT PAST AND FUTURE KARKATS WEREN'T???

GG: but

GG: those are you

GG: im not her!

CG: OH AREN'T YOU

CG: YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE, I JUST HEARD YOU SAY THAT

CG: SO TELL ME

CG: HOW IS THIS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING BIT DIFFERENT?

GG: i dont know

GG: it just...

CG: YES, GO ON

CG: I'M REALLY CURIOUS

CG: HOW

GG: ...

GG: oh my god

GG: youre right :(

GG: so then i guess

GG: im a hypocrite :(

CG: NOT REALLY

CG: IT JUST MEANS YOU'RE A SANE RATIONAL PERSON, AND THERE JUST MIGHT BE HOPE FOR YOU YET

GG: wait...

GG: so me arguing with my dead dream self

GG: and smacking her around while screaming at her

GG: makes me SANE???

CG: YES, ABSOLUTELY.

CG: IT MEANS ALL OF YOUR HIDEOUS FLAWS DISGUST YOU.

CG: YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE DISGUSTED, IT'S MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE CAN SAY FOR THEMSELVES.

CG: REALLY, CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER.

GG: hahaha, wow

GG: you are so weird

CG: CONGRATULATIONS, IN ADDITION TO, JUST MAYBE, AN APOLOGY.

CG: DON'T YOU THINK?

GG: you want me to apologize?!

GG: for what, calling you crazy for arguing with yourself???

CG: WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT?

GG: after taking so much crap from you for all those years?

GG: no forget it, im not apologizing that is BULLSHIT

CG: DEAD DREAM DOG JADE, IS THAT YOU??? YOU'RE SOUNDING A BIT HYSTERICAL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALM DOWN.

GG: shut uuuup!!!

CG: WELL IF YOU CAN MANAGE TO GET YOUR ANEURYSM UNDER CONTROL

CG: MAYBE YOU WILL REALIZE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SPECIFY TO WHOM AN APOLOGY WAS IN ORDER.

CG: IDIOT.

GG: what

GG: are you saying you want to apologize

CG: I GUESS

CG: THIS APOLOGY WAS GOING TO GO DOWN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, SO THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE THE TIME.

CG: AND LET'S FACE IT, I WAS REALLY BEING THE WORST KIND OF PHLEGM BUBBLE BLOWN OUT A NOISY GLISTENING ASS.

CG: SO I'M SORRY.

CG: BUT TO BE FAIR, IT WAS MY PAST SELF WHO WAS GIVING YOU SUCH A HARD TIME, AND HE'S COMPLETELY DERANGED.

GG: ok, i appreciate the THOUGHT of an apology, but i dont know if it really counts if you are just going to pawn off responsibility on your "past self" again!

GG: maybe your "present self" should own up to it!

CG: YEAH THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING.

CG: HE, BEING ME, RIGHT NOW, IS OWNING UP TO WHAT A FUCKING RETARD PAST ME WAS, AND CONTINUES TO BE.

GG: laaaaame

CG: YES, I KNOW IT'S LAME.

CG: OR I KNOW THAT YOU THINK IT'S LAME WHEN I SAY SHIT LIKE THAT.

CG: BECAUSE REMEMBER

CG: I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FROM THE FUTURE, AND I KNOW YOU DON'T COTTON TO MY PCG/FCG STUPIDITY.

CG: BUT SEE, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YET.

CG: OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YET.

CG: SO I'M KIND OF PULLING A FAST ONE HERE.

GG: hahahaha, that is so ridiculous

GG: why dont you stop it with all this nonsense and own up to being terrible unequivocally?

CG: YEAH I'M GOING TO.

CG: THE THING IS, I KIND OF MISREPRESENTED MYSELF.

CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.

CG: FUCK I MEAN

CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE

GG: :o

CG: I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY I TROLLED YOU LIKE THAT SO PERSISTENTLY

CG: FOR SOME REASON DEEP DOWN I JUST KNEW THAT I HAD TO

CG: EVEN IF IT MEANT DIGGING MYSELF INTO A HUGE HOLE WITH YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT WOULD BE HARD TO CLIMB OUT OF

CG: AND LIKE PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING I SAID WAS COMPLETELY BASELESS BECAUSE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW YOU

CG: JUST LIKE YOU DIDN'T AND STILL DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ME

CG: SO I GUESS I AM APOLOGIZING FOR IT, LIKE REALLY SERIOUSLY NOW.

CG: I, PRESENT KARKAT, IN THE CURRENT MOMENT, APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF OF MY STUPID PAST SELF, *WHO IS ACTUALLY ME*.

CG: THE GUY TALKING RIGHT NOW.

CG: LIKE, THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE GUYS, OK?

GG: hmmmm...

CG: HMMMM???????

GG: yes, hm

CG: HM WHAT

GG: ok karkat, that sounds pretty sincere to me

GG: and youre right, i dont actually know you

GG: i just know the part of you who acted like a bully

GG: i understand there can be more to a person than just the stuff they say when theyre angry

GG: so i will accept your apology and give you another chance

CG: OK, GREAT.

GG: and i will apologize for calling you crazy

GG: obviously i am not in much position to judge :|

CG: NO BUT

CG: YOU WERE RIGHT, I AM CRAZY

CG: BUT THANKS ANYWAY

GG: so you say you have been talking to me from the future?

CG: YEAH

CG: MAKING PLANS AND WHATNOT

CG: TO PRY OURSELVES MUTUALLY OUT OF THIS MASSIVE MOBIUS DOUBLE CLUSTERFUCK.

GG: ok, so what is the plan?

GG: i mean, why did you want me to contact you at this moment so badly?

CG: OK WELL THE MOST IMMEDIATE POINT OF BUSINESS IS

CG: YOU SEE THAT GLOWING BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU?

GG: yes

CG: YOU NEED TO TURN THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OFF.

GG: ok, i can do that

GG: but why, what does it do?

GG: its been here my whole life and i could never figure it out

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT.

CG: BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCREW WITH.

CG: THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF

CG: FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID

CG: THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

GG: i dont think im following...

CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW

CG: ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TURN THE THING OFF

CG: AND THEN DO THE NEXT THING I WAS TOLD TO TELL YOU TO DO.

GG: you were told?

GG: by who?

CG: BY YOU.

GG: oh...

GG: future me?

CG: YES.

CG: YOU COULD BE TELLING YOURSELF THIS RIGHT NOW, BUT WE'RE SORT OF WORKING ON A STRICT NO MEMO POLICY.

CG: WHICH IS YOUR IDEA OF COURSE.

CG: DID I MENTION HOW YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN WE ARGUE WITH OUR PAST/FUTURE SELVES? YES, PRETTY SURE I DID.

CG: SO I'M GOING ALONG WITH THE POLICY AS BEST I CAN.

CG: I AM BEING PLEASANT AND AGREEABLE, AND I WILL GENTLY LOWER A MAGNIFICENT, CORUSCATING COLUMN OF HOT FUCK YOU DOWN THE PROTEIN CHUTE OF ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

GG: uh... ok

GG: well it sounds like a pretty good policy to me!

CG: YOU DON'T SAY.

CG: SO ANYWAY, BECAUSE OF THAT, MY ROLE AT THE MOMENT IS TO ACT AS A SORT OF GO BETWEEN FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE SELF

CG: TO HELP ALONG THE PROCESS OF MAKING THESE PLANS

CG: WHILE YOUR FUTURE SELF IS DELIBERATELY VAGUE ABOUT SOME STUFF SO AS NOT TO "JINX" THE CONCEPTION OF THE IDEAS IN THE FIRST PLACE I GUESS?

CG: ALL WHILE YOUR CURRENT SELF IS NECESSARILY KIND OF DUMB ABOUT EVERYTHING.

GG: hey!!!

CG: SORRY, OK, JUST KIND OF IGNORANT

CG: BECAUSE STUFF HASN'T HAPPENED YET

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

CG: IT'S NOT ALL THAT STRAIGHTFORWARD FOR ME EITHER, BUT I'M USED TO THIS SORT OF IDIOCY BY NOW.

CG: IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN THE MORONIC REVERSE CONVERSATION WITH EGBERT I TRAPPED MYSELF INTO.

CG: MEANWHILE TIME IS KIND OF RUNNING OUT HERE, WHERE I AM

CG: WE'RE COUNTING DOWN TO SOMETHING

CG: SOMETHING LOOMING ON THE TROLLIAN TIMELINE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS

CG: AND MY TEAM IS KIND OF FALLING APART

CG: I'M COMPLETELY LOSING TRACK OF EVERYONE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

CG: SO AT THIS POINT I'M JUST GOING ALONG WITH WHATEVER THERE IS TO GO ALONG WITH.

CG: AND THAT IS YOU AND YOUR CRAZY FUTURE PLANS.

CG: AND THE SCRATCH.

GG: oh yeah! dave told me about that.

GG: what is it?

CG: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

CG: AT ONE POINT I THOUGHT I DID, I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST WHATEVER SENT JACK HERE.

CG: BUT CLEARLY IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

CG: ARADIA KNEW BUT SHE DIDN'T SAY, AND THEN SHE WENT AND GODDAMN EXPLODED.

CG: YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME EITHER, BECAUSE I'M NOT "SUPPOSED TO KNOW" YET.

CG: WHATEVER, I DON'T EVEN CARE, LET'S JUST DO IT.

GG: ok then...

GG: what was the thing i told you to tell me to do?

GG: right now, i mean

CG: OK, DON'T ASK ME WHY, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THAT EITHER.

CG: BUT THAT BLUE SCREEN THERE

CG: FIRST, LIKE I SAID, SHUT IT OFF

GG: ok

GG: then what

CG: THEN YOU NEED TO DRAW IT.

GG: draw it?

CG: YES

GG: and then?

CG: THEN NOTHING

CG: THAT'S IT.

[thisarenotarealblog]

Evolutionary biology lessons for fun and profit 👀

aw heck ok well this one was born of some discussion on the gg discord about differences between troll and human biology, and how the trolls probably aren't familiar with pursuit predators, and the high concept sort of spiralled from that into what will eventually be a little class discussion between the meteor crew about the biological differences between trolls and humans that DONT involve a bucket.

Remember when i asked you if you thought the troll players knew what evolution was? it was about this. (for purposes of the fic, the answer is no- the condesce, in a totalitarian attempt to secure her power, has made the orthodoxy that trolls are the special snowflakes of the universe created perfectly wholecloth in the existing system. If it used to be different, that allows for the rebellious concept of the future being different.)

Not much to the wip itself at the moment, but it starts out with

Karkat ran through the growing list in his head titled "weird human words we sure as hell didn't give them," and came up empty. "Our what?"