lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
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This is just a smaller observation that will hopefully someday be part of a larger analysis on Kabru's view of Laios & how Laios impacts him...
But I think it really interesting that Kabru surrenders something for Laios twice, and that these moments are inversions of each other.
The first time, Kabru gives up his life to maintain his control. He changes the course of the entire story with this action, and is willing to die to achieve that. Kabru is (supposedly) entrusting the future to Laios, but he is still very much the primary actor in the overall narrative. He is still the one choosing what the story should be.
The second time, however, Kabru gives up his control to keep hold of something personal and selfish (in the way of dungeon meshi selfishness - it is a good thing to keep this desire. It small piece of what makes him a living creature). He steps aside to let Laios choose the way forward. He surrenders narrative agency for personal agency... not changing the story, but changing himself.
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Whatsoever I've feared has come to life
And whatsoever I've fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded, now I'm doing time
Now I'm doing time
'Cause I fell on black days
I fell on black days
Whomsoever I've cured, I've sickened now
And whomsoever I've cradled, I've put you down
I'm a search light soul they say
But I can't see it in the night
I'm only faking when I get it right
When I get it right
'Cause I fell on black days
I fell on black days
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
How would I know
That this could be my fate? Yeah
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
So what you wanted to see good
Has made you blind
And what you wanted to be yours
Has made it mine
So don't you lock up something
That you wanted to see fly
Hands are for shaking
No, not tying, no, not tying
I sure don't mind a change
I sure don't mind a change
Yeah, I sure don't mind, sure don't mind a change
I sure don't mind a change
'Cause I fell on black days
I fell on black days
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
I sure don't mind a change
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Chris Cornell
Fell on Black Days lyrics © Hipgnosis Songs Group
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
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Protective Obi-Wan anyone?
I was re-watching the Ryloth arc and I couldn't help but notice,
I love how Obi-Wan's arm immediately goes to block Cody, he extends his hand out and it's not in the form of a fist, it's flat, it's an attempt to block as much of Cody's chest as possible. Cody takes a full step back to, mainly to get into position to shoot. But he's preparing himself to move behind Obi-Wan, who'd need enough room to swing his lightsaber to block blaster shots.
Obi-Wan's first instinct is to protect Cody, his second is to ignite his lightsaber. Obi-Wan protects Cody before protecting himself and others. His lightsaber would give enough cover for all his men, but his body would only cover Cody's.
In the second frame, Obi-Wan puts his hand on Cody's gun first before turning off his lightsaber. Now, he does know what is about to come out of the grate before his men do, which is partially why he wants to stop Cody. Cody putting down his weapon would signal to his men that there is no danger, however, turning off his lightsaber would do the exact same thing. But he chooses to stop Cody first.
After Obi-Wan puts his hand on Cody's gun, notice how long he looks at Obi-Wan. Cody's guard is down, he doesn't keep his eye on the grate like his men do, he doesn't even try to keep his blaster aimed, also unlike his men. Cody doesn't break contact with Obi-Wan until he does, it's in that moment we understand how much Cody trusts Obi-Wan with his life.
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