#glad I brought flats just in case

[benevolentbones]

as i lay bleeding | spencer reid x reader

warnings: angst!!!!!!! character death, mentions of injury. gender neutral reader

word count: 1.1k

summary: risks in the field suddenly become very real

a/n: hope you enjoy:) i love writing angst. reblogs & comments appreciated <3 requests open

it was a given statistic that those who worked for the fbi had a lower mortality rate, they would often get injured on the field, times those injuries would result in death.

you had seen deaths occur on the field, you had heard the news of other members in different departments passing during active cases. but you never thought you’d be lumped in with the large sum of losses the fbi had each year, well, until now.

all you could see was the grey sky, murky clouds floating across the monotone heavens. you laid flat on your back, when you tried to move your whole body felt like it was lit aflame.

you let out a breathy wince, hastily trying to find the source of this pain. you shifted your left arm, dragging it against the concrete to move it over your abdomen.

as your soft fingers reached your wound you let out a pained gasp, feeling something large jutting out of your left side. you pulled your hand back, every movement aching, lifting it up to your line of vision.

bright red stained your fingers, dripping down your forearm and staining your, now torn, white shirt sleeve. a jagged breath escaped your lips as you tried to move, once again not succeeding.

so you laid there in a pile of broken glass, on the concrete staring up at the moody sky, bleeding out.

within seconds a lean figure was by your side, you shifted your gaze from the sky to meet big brown eyes. he cradled your head in his hand, moving his other down to your injury, his hand hovered shakily over the large piece of glass soaked in your blood.

“spencer…” you mumbled out, your eyes going in and out of focus, he turned his attention back to your face, he was clear he was trying to mask his panic, you could always see right through his façade.

“hey- you’re okay- you’ll be okay.” his voice was laced with concern, his head quickly whipping around his surroundings for anyone to come to your aid.

“i need a medic! agent down-“ he yelled out, his voice strained. you couldn’t hear much else going on around you, a few distant voices calling back.

you reached your left hand up to rest against his cheek, his eyes glued on you. as your strength weakened, your hand slipped, leaving a red stain on his face.

“sorry..” you mumbled out, making an attempt to wipe away the blood but making it worse in the process,which spencer replied with a choked out chuckle.

even as you lay there bleeding, of course you would find something to be apologetic about. that was just how you were, and he loved that about you.

“you’re okay- hold on. the medics are on the way-“ he couldn’t hold back the wobble in his voice, you knew by how he acted, that he was struggling to maintain his composure. you could feel his hands trembling as he applied pressure to your wound, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"spencer" you whispered, your voice barely audible, "i'm so tired."

his eyes widened, panic evident. "no, don't say that. stay with me. hey- keep talking to me."

your vision started to blur, and the world around you seemed to fade away. "it's okay, spence. i'm- i'm glad you're here."

the panic that you once felt about dying slowly slipping away, being replaced by a comforting feeling, but maybe that was just because spencer was with you.

tears streamed down his face as he shook his head, refusing to accept what was happening. "no, you're going to be fine. just hold on a little longer." he chewed on his lip, letting out a breathy gasp “please.” he whispered out.

you tried to muster a smile, but it came out as a grimace. "promise me something."

"anything," he replied instantly, his voice cracking.

"promise me...you’ll look after kevin- i know you don’t like him but.." you referenced the cat you brought into your relationship with spencer, that little ginger fur ball was your absolute baby, you needed to make sure he would be taken care of.

spencer let out a low chuckle, of course you would bring up that dumb cat of yours. “yes- but i won’t need to- you’re going to be okay..” his voice breaking completely. "please, just stay with me. the medics are almost here. you can't leave me."

your eyelids grew heavier, and you could barely keep them open. "i love you, spencer." you managed to mutter out, your eyes fluttering shut for the last time.

spencer's heart shattered as he felt your body go limp in his arms. he clung to you, sobbing uncontrollably, praying for a miracle that he knew deep down wouldn't come. the sounds of approaching medics and shouting voices faded into the background as his world centered on the devastating reality that he was losing you. that he lost you.

morgan ran over, skidding to a halt beside spencer. he took in the scene quickly, seeing the blood, the glass, and the lifeless body in spencer's arms. he knelt down, placing a firm hand on spencer's shoulder.

"spencer," morgan said, his voice gentle but urgent, "we have to let the medics do their job."

spencer shook his head violently, his grip on you tightening. "no, no, they can't help now. they’re gone, morgan. they’re gone." his voice broke completely, and he buried his face against your shoulder, sobbing harder.

morgan's heart ached at the sight. he pulled spencer into a rough embrace, feeling the younger man shake with grief. "i know, man, i know," he said quietly, his own voice thick with emotion. "but you need to let them take them. you can't stay here."

spencer resisted for a moment longer, then finally, reluctantly, let go. the medics moved in swiftly, but spencer didn't watch them. he couldn't. instead, he clung to morgan, who held him up, supporting him as his legs threatened to give out.

"they asked me to look after kevin," spencer whispered, his voice barely audible. "they were worried about the cat."

morgan managed a small, sad smile. "that sounds like y/n. we'll make sure kevin is okay. right now, we need to get you out of here."

spencer nodded numbly, allowing morgan to lead him away. as they walked, he glanced back one last time, seeing the medics covering your body. his heart felt like it was being ripped apart all over again.

"i loved them so much," spencer said, his voice breaking.

"i know you did," morgan replied, his grip on spencer tightening. "and they knew it too. they loved you just as much. remember that."

together, they walked away from the scene, spencer's sobs mingling with the sounds of the bustling crime scene, his clothes stained crimson, one of the last reminders of you.

taglist!! @0108s22m @rainoftearss @potatovoyager @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @luvmia222 @shardsofmarxx @silver138 @lover-of-books-and-tea @thedancingnerdmermaid @khxna @cynbx

[sirfrogsworth]

My dad passed away a few hours after I left the hospital.

I really didn't want him to be alone when it happened. I figured we had at least another week before the toxins built up in his system. But he had congestive heart failure along with renal failure and I think he would have passed tonight whether he stopped dialysis or not. I'm so glad we didn't attempt that amputation. He would have gone through that and died a few days later regardless.

When I left he was in a very deep sleep. So at least I was there for his last moments of consciousness. The last thing he saw was a loved one. I still wish I had stayed tonight. They even asked me if I'd like to spend the night and I had this feeling like maybe I should. But my back was on fire and I was very sleepy. And I wanted to make sure I was able to meet his visitors in the morning. So I went home to get some rest.

I know people will comfort me and say it's okay, but my mom died all alone in the ICU. She couldn't even have visitors. And I just didn't want that for my dad. I wanted to be by his side holding his hand.

In any case, they called around 12:40 am. I barely held it together until I hung up the phone. I called my brother to let him know. Then I woke up Katrina to hear a comforting voice to calm me down. I wish she could have hugged me, but the power of her hugging spirit is so profound you can almost feel it through the phone.

I let her get back to sleep and I went back to the hospital at about 1 am. I had to enter through the ER and an armed security guard escorted me to the elevators. I went up to the 4th floor to the hospice suite (aka a regular hospital room with string lights). I met with my dad's night nurse--a lovely Haitian gentleman named Kennedy.

He escorted me into my father's room. He had prepared it to try and make me more comfortable. He made sure the room had enough light, but not overwhelmingly so. The room was spotless so I guess they must have cleaned it. They packed up my father's belongings and placed them in the corner. Kennedy had the TV set to some sort of relaxation channel. It had images of beaches, mellow music, and sounds of the ocean. Though it made it hard to hear him and I wish he had just left the TV off. Ocean sounds were not going to make seeing my dad any more pleasant. But I guess I appreciate the effort.

My dad was still in his hospital bed. They adjusted it to be perfectly flat and they covered him with the soft, fuzzy microfiber blanket I brought to help my dad be more comfortable. Hospital blankets were scratchy to his sensitive skin. His eyes were closed but his mouth was wide open. I'm wondering if they were unable to close it. My eyes kept playing tricks on me because I kept thinking I saw his chest rise and fall. Maybe my brain just wanted to believe he was just sleeping.

The nurse had me sign a document and gave me some privacy to say goodbye. Once he left I quickly turned off those damn ocean sounds. They were really distracting.

I don't really believe you can talk to the dead. So I just grabbed his belongings, pulled his fuzzy blanket off and left the room.

I guess next up is the service. I am going to try to write a eulogy tomorrow. Hopefully I can find the words to honor my dad's life.

Thank you all for helping support me through this. All of your messages and thoughts really did help make this more tolerable. And thank you for putting up with all of my bored hospital thoughts.

I guess I am going to try and get a few more hours of sleep before I start calling people in the morning. I'll have to let my dad's friends know they can't visit him.

Goodnight everyone.

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

Stella, her existence for the sole purpose of birthing an heir, and Octavia:

I could see Stella absolutely wanting nothing to do with a kid she was only tjere to produce, and feeling absolutely horrified at having to lay an egg that she (probably, based off how dismissive in s2(but was that rewriting to make her seem more bitchy?)) disconnects emotionally from Octavia for several years and made it harder for them to connect, especially in the beginning.

The creeping guilt of "i wanted nothing to do with this,b ut she's my daughter, so i have to care" and struggling to find the line between "i have been mentally scarred but i shouldn't take it out on A Literal Child" and either then turning the anger inward (why do i hate something that came from me) or outward (this is also partially Stolas's fault because he played a part) and struggling to hide it from Octavia as she grew up.

The balance of hating the pathway to how Octavia was born vs trying to remember thag the child herself is innocent.

She finally finds a balance between the two, just for Stolas to upend their life for someone he brought into their bed. They could have, if either of them really tried, discussed it ages ago and set up a 'we are married for x reason, but here is y, z, a options for pur sexuality clashes and how we want to portray our life to others' but you get flat, 1 dimensional characters who only exist to prop up male characters.

Maybe in the beginning, Stella would have been open to a discussion about Stolas being gay and figuring out how to work with it. But it's all just a game to stolas ("i thought love would be fun" is the line i think of when it comes to Stolas & Stella's marriage. Unsure if it's from when he's singing in his library in the beginning of s2 or from jlmw music video) and Stella is no longer playing the game.

She's bitter, she's never had fun, she was there for one reason & one reason alone.

And it's such wasted potential to talk about how people who have kids suffer post partum and absolutely have a hard time connecting w kids they want, let alone kids that are the product of abusive & r*pe.

Is Stella a bad mother? We don't know because we aren't shown. Is there potential for her to suffer from the marriage and it affect her relationship with Via and make it 1000 times harder to connect, vs Stolas, who didn't have to carry(???) an egg (it's so confusing on the dynamics of egg birthing in this show. Don't just drop a single "glad the egg fell out" like. Give us details, world building, background, please) and thus can connect with a child easier?

And they were maximum 18 when Via was born, which makes all of it so much harder to process & deal with when you become a parent so young.

YES YES YES YES YES OH MY GOD YES YOU GET IT YOU UNDERSTAND.

SERIOUSLY... seriously seriously Stella is such a wasted opportunity to explore what happens when you force someone who doesn't want to bear a child to bear a child. They could have explored amazing stuff like not making her the best mother at first that only bonds with her daughter later due to postnatal disorder, and showing her feelings changing overtime as she comes to terms with losing her autonomy in place of gaining a daughter who didn't ask for any of this either and that shes going to make the most of. Just as 1 example. So much could have been explored...

and I'll just say it. Representation is important. But honestly. This show could have benefited more from more and better focus on other stuff like addiction and not just so much shipping/relationship stuff (tbf I'm talking about the het ones too but I feel like I have to preface in case anyone thinks this is me being annoyed at the existence of any ships/any gay ships at all, its not. Its just a wish some other stuff could get more of a focus because often the content sitting right there for it would have been better).

[raavilerain]

✦◦ nail polish

summary. you wear nail polish... that's pretty much it.

notes. heizou x gn!reader / kazuha x gn!reader / fluff / established relationship

author's thoughts. many of you seemed to like my previous fic. i'm glad you all did! here's an idea that's been floating around in my brain for a while.

Heizou, who is tired and spent; who just finished a long day of solving a case that was, in his professional opinion, boring; who just really wants to have you in his arms; and who wants to cuddle up to you, pressing soft kisses on your skin. Only for him to be utterly rejected?

The detective’s face bloomed into a smile when he saw your figure curled up on the couch. He nearly pounced on you from the sheer need to have you within his chest, but you startled and moved away, holding up your hands in front of you.

“Ah, ah, ah!” You warned, showing him the freshly painted coat of nail polish that adorned your nails. 

“Nail polish.” You kept a fair distance from him on the couch, an amused smile on your face. “You’ll surely smudge it, Heizou. No touching.”

You could see Heizou nearly pout, his eyes clearly distraught. “What?” He questioned. “Oh, please, that’s not fair. You can’t just run away from me.” Heizou inched closer towards you, almost cornering you on the couch.

“‘Zou…” You said, backing away. But, really, there was nowhere else to run. “...don’t you dare.”

Too late. Heizou had already pulled you into his chest, a shriek exiting your mouth, as he kept you pressed against him. 

“You’re smudging it!” You complained, breaking out into a laugh. After a few more futile attempts of thrashing around, you fell limp into your boyfriend’s arms. 

“You can re-apply it later,” Heizou said, pressing a kiss to the side of your face. “Just… lay with me for now.”

Kazuha will be patient. He is seated right next to you on the couch as he listens to you ramble about your commissions and adventures. 

“God, those abyss mages are beyond annoying,” You ranted. Your hands lay flat on your legs. The glossy sheen of the polish is thick on your finger tips. The paint, still wet and sloppy. 

You continued your tirade, and Kuzuha listened. Perhaps not with the rapt attention of a captivated audience, but more of a gentle observation that was done by ease. 

He could make out how your cheeks flushed, your lips parting to launch into another rant, but right then his hand reached out. 

Kazuha‘s hands, almost unconsciously, wrapped around your hand. His fingers hovered over your fingers, cupping your palm gently.

Your breath caught in your throat, about to warn him about your polish. But he brought your fingers close to his mouth. Then, a sigh escaped his lips, soft breath dancing on your skin. He continued. Kazuha’s warm breath swaying on each of your fingertips as the polish dried. 

They felt like floating kisses on your skin. 

“Continue,” Kazuha murmured. “I want to listen to your voice.”

And so, your rant continued as your boyfriend’s gentle sighs dried your nail polish.

dividers by: @cafekitsune

[kengan-daddies]

Oh Ohma Tokita , You're Full of Surprises

Anime : Kegna Ashura Character: Ohma Tokita Warning: None

Oh Ohma Tokita, You're Full of Surprises

Oh Ohma Tokita, You're Full of Surprises

You, Yamashita and Ohma, in that order, sat at the bar, a beer in Yamashita's hand while wine in yours. Ohma ate happily and quietly while you and Yamashita spoke.

"I honestly never thought that I would be in a place like this, I guess your dreams really can come true." Yamashita said as he looked around the place, still as awe struck as he was when he first came here. You smiled at him kindly, Yamashita was a kind elder man, he was ever so lovely to be around.

"It's true, dreams can come true, sometimes you just have to wait and go with the flow." You said in a gentle voice as you sip your drank. Yamashita smile as he looks over at you. "I suppose so." He said as he too took a sip of his drank. You looked over at Ohma, seeing him deep into his meal, a distance look on his face. "You always get so deep into your thoughts when you eat, Ohma." You said as you leaned your head on your hand as you turned towards him.

He looked over at you, his dark eyes gentle and relaxed. You stared deep into them, still getting used to this new Ohma. You didn't know this Ohma, and yet you did. He was still your Ohma, he was just... different was all. After his fight with Raian, he slipped into a bit of a coma, before that, he held a fire in his eyes. Constant rage that burned for more, he was always so feral in his actions and now... He was calm, relaxed, focused.

It wasn't normal and yet... You didn't mind it. He stared at you for a moment before he shrugged. "I'm my most relaxed when I'm eating." He spoke before he went back to eating. Both you and Yamashita just stared at him. 'At least he still as simple minded as ever.' You thought before you went back to your drink. You looked over at Yamashita, watching as he ordered another drink a happy smile on his aged face.

You felt warmth flood through you, just seeing him being happy always made you feel this way. You remember when you first met the man. Ohma was the one who introduced you to him.

You still remember, standing in your apartment, the door open as you stared at Ohma and his newest elder companion. The little old man, looked even smaller next to Ohma, he was a small little man. His dark blue suit, white collar shirt, red tie, heavy looking brief case... He brought you a business man? The man spoke up, sounding anxious and weary. "U-umm... Ohma, why are we here?" He asked.

You looked over at Ohma, wanting an answer as well. "Yamashita Kazuo... This is (l/n) (y/n), she's a friend of mine." He explained. You rolled your eyes as you placed your hand on your hip and you raised your hand towards Yamashita to shake. "I'm (Y/n), Ohma's girlfriend.... And his shelter." You said with an eye roll. Yamashita stared at you for a moment before he looked over at Ohma and back towards you. "Oh, well I'm pleased to meet you then. Ohma, you never told me you had a girlfriend." He said as he shook your hand looking back at Ohma as he did.

Ohma shrugged. "You're meeting her now so don't complain." He said. You rolled your eyes. "Such a brute." You said in a flat tone. Ohma shrugged at you. Yamashita looked back at Ohma a little longer before he looked back at you, a sweet smile on his face as he did. "I'm so glad that Ohma has someone like you in his life, he needs you more then he'd ever admit it." He said kindly, your heart warmed at his words.

You were honestly having doubts about yours and Ohma's relationship, but this gave you renewed hope. "Thank you Yamashita, I really mean it too." You said. 'Damn, it's only been a few months since we met, but it already feels like it's been years.' You thought as you stared at Yamashita. You felt a light push into your back from Ohma's forearm. You looked back at him curiously.

The new calm eyes of Ohma's always lost you in a trance. 'I gotta get used to this.' You thought as you turned towards him. "What's up, Ohma?" You asked him. He didn't say anything for a moment, but he did eventually. "What's on your mind, (y/n)?" He asked you, patience, calm, sincere... His voice, his eyes, his body, it all screamed those three emotions... You weren't used to this... But you honestly weren't complaining, you actually kind of liked it on him.

You gave him a small smile as you leaned on your palm. "Oh nothing too important, just thinking about Yamashita is all." You said. His brow twitched for a moment, and if you weren't focused you'd miss it. Your smile slightly widen when you seen the fire in his eyes slowly ignites, seemingly ready for a challenge. You gave a small chuckle at his small yet loud actions. "Oh Ohma, relax!! It's not like that." You said as you placed a hand on his upper arm.

He seemed to relax some. "Then why?" He simply asked. "Because, it just ran across my mind... I just got stuck in the past, of when you first introduced him to me." You said honestly. He started at you in thought for a moment before he asked. "Why would that be on your mind?" He asked. You sighed, as your hand moved down his arm till it rested on his hand. The fork in his hand fell to the counter top, as his hand relaxed, his palm opening up allowing your hand to slip comfortably against his own.

Your heart fluttered at the simple act, while your hand tightens around his and he lightly grasped yours in return. "Because, Ohma... Small memorise like those, you just simply never forget, they map out your journey, they tell a story and they give you reason. My purpose in life is yet to be determined, so I hold onto my memories until I know." You explained, his eyes seemed to bounce between yours intensely as he listened to your words. "Do you know your purpose yet, Ohma?" You asked him, as your other hand cupped his cheek.

He stared at you, seemingly lost in a daze before he shook his head and he gave a low "no."... You smiled. " That's okay, neither of us do, that's why we live just as hard as the day before, why we hold onto our memories so tight." You said. He seemed to understand as he nodded his head. "Ooh umm, the next match is starting soon... Do you two... Perhaps want to come watch?" Came Yamashita's weary voice. You and Ohma looked over at him, seeing a sheepish look upon his face as he stared at you both.

You and Ohma shared a look before you both nodded at him. "I most definitely need to see this next fight, I've missed four so far, so I need to catch up quickly." Ohma said as he stood up. You and Yamashita smiled at him, happy to see Ohma up and ready. You all exited the bar/food court as you began to make your way to the arena. You looked down seeing your hand still in Ohma's gentle yet firm grip as he lead you all through the hall.

You gave him a loving smile. 'Oh Ohma, you're full of surprises.' You thought.

[andiftheycare]

AU where Suguru’s an overworked salaryman and Satoru keeps stealing his umbrellas as a bad attempt at flirting.

Or the you swan he frog meme but make it a fic

☂️ Part one here, and also on twt

☂️ Part two point one here, and on twt

I should be banned from my notes app when I'm this brain fried. Highly unedited & nothing much happens in this update. More thievery in part 3

Tags to be aware of: AU, squint and it’s a reincarnation au (more on this soon), office AU, squint and there's some side Itafushi

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

☂️☂️2.2

“You forgot your pass?”

The receptionist, an old guy called Jogo who’s been there since Suguru started as an intern, weights him down as if he’d never seen him a day in his life. A whiff of suffocatingly hot air hit him as the reception's doors slide open.

“Unfortunate,” Suguru smiles brightly at him, glad for the air con and the extra hours of sleep. Breakfast was good, too. Especially since Megumi brought in miso and coffee.

His phone buzzes and Suguru ignores it as Jogo handles him a temporary pass “I know where you work.” Jogo says, squinting. “Return this when you clock off.”

On his Line chat with Gojo, there’s now a link to a ten years old article Suguru doesn’t want to open.

Megumi says you’re awful

Don’t take it personal, though. He doesn’t like me either.

Whatever his relationship with Megumi is, Suguru doesn’t ask. Megumi sat with him in awkward silence for a while, and watched while Suguru washed the dished and scribbled a post it on the rice cooker, up until he left for a shower. There, Megumi stared until Suguru disappeared down the corridor.

Now, the elevator takes Suguru to the 14th floor, and another day —

which will look exactly like the one before and the one before that, an endless circle of numbers and calls and emergencies and pathological examples of system’s incompetence ——

starts.

“Is that a new suit?” Yuki asks, first thing in the morning, as she delivers an americano on his desk.

“Sort of,”

“Ehh, what’s with that answer?”

Suguru shrugs and, truly, what’s there to say if not “I might return it, you know. It’s tight on my shoulders.”

She snorts. “Fits you, though. Blue’s your colour.”

Suguru’s phone buzzes again. The insistent tick tick of the rain is partly cancelled by the office floor’s chatter.

“Nonsense.” Miguel says, dropping his laptop bag on the desk next to Suguru. “He looks better in orange.”

“I don’t wear orange.”

“Exactly my point.” Miguel says, unfazed, and Yuki sighs loudly and theatrically just for Nanami to catch her in the act. He clocks in right on time, not a minute before or after their mandatory office hours, and says “I assume Tsukumo-san’s here to discuss the latest budget updates?”

Which, to be fair, she needs to do. Still, that comment doesn’t go down well. Suguru watches the consequences of Nanami’s actions unravel as he turns on his laptop, coffee burning his tongue.

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

At lunch time the air is dense with humidity and sticks Suguru’s hair to his neck. The walk to the conglomerate of flats where he slept the previous night is an experience similar to swimming, the weather a prelude to a later storm.

Suguru will need another umbrella, and he’s running out of coins.

When he taps in the key code, as if he lives there, he knows he’s violating an implicit pact of trust with Gojo, but in that moment it doesn’t matter.

He’s sure Gojo won’t mind. He’ll make up to him, at some point. Besides, his brain doesn’t fumble with morals when he has an end to a meaning — in that case, it’s just retrieving his lost pass without having to ask Gojo.

Because if he does, Suguru will be in the same room as Gojo while they search for it. And that, somehow, will make him real, rather than a convenience store ghoul hunting in his memories.

“Oi, Megumi, did you get…”

Gojo blinks at him from the other side of the room. Suguru blinks back, hand still on the door knob.

“You could’ve called me.” the corner of his mouth tugs into a smile, a note of unexpected happiness in his voice.

“I didn’t think you were home.”

“Ouch. What a way to sound unsuspicious.” He pauses, pensive, because clearly Gojo wants to savour his next words “Were you trying to rob me, Suguru?”

Of course. The article run his full name.“We’re not on first name basis.”

“Yet you sleep in my bed.”

“With your consent.”

Gojo’s eyes glints. In the daylight, sun caressing the angles of his face, they’re a clearer blue. Softer, almost, or maybe that’s only in how he’s looking at Suguru. It’s the first time he sees Gojo properly, instead of registering his presence under neon lights and the influence of sleep-deprivation.

There’s a compulsion to get closer, feel him closer, to see for himself if those eyes are shielded by coloured contacts or are the byproduct of winning a rare genetic lottery. Mostly, he wants, but the ending to satisfy his desire doesn’t lay in giving in to the physicality of Gojo Satoru.

He doesn’t understand it. Quite frankly, he doesn’t want to.

“I forgot my pass.” Finally, Suguru’s brain reboots. He shuts the door behind him. “I’ll take it and leave. So you don’t need to…” he waves a hand at him.

“What?” Satoru looks down, blind to the drops of water shimmering down his chest, to the trail of white hair disappearing behind the towel draped around his hips.

So his hair aren’t bleached.

Suguru wishes he found that distracting, rather than the droplets of water pouring from Gojo’s locks down to his neck, right behind his ear. A spot to bite.

“Dress?” he deadpans.

“Oh,” Gojo looks up, quickly. “Right. Dress.”

Of course, no action is taken because why Gojo would ever do as he’s told. After a moment of silence, Geto says “Have you seen it?”

Gojo tilts his head slightly “Uhm?”

“My pass?”

At that Gojo jolts back to life, shifting from one feet to another, “No?”

“Help me find it then.”

So they move. Geto takes off his shoes and inspects the kitchen while Gojo rushes to change, moving between the flat surfaces he cleaned under Megumi’s supervision, bending to look under tables and sofas.

Filling in the paperwork to request a new pass is, in his company, a well-known path to insanity. On top of the corporate inflicted excruciating admin intertwined with the entire process, he’d need three levels of approval and two new HR checks before they can grant him a new one.

As if Geto hasn’t been working there for ten years. There’s no trust, really. Which doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t trust them either. He sees their numbers, where their money goes and how much Geto and Yuki have to play around higher egos for their own careers. It doesn’t make sense.

Plus, Geto doesn’t want to go through the company’s data security training once again.

Gojo remerges wearing joggers and a white t-shirt, pass in his hand “Was in the bathroom.”

Where Geto changed clothes that morning. Figures.

“Oh, thank —“

The lanyard flips above his head, rigid plastic hitting his chest with a swing, fingers adjusting the collar of his borrowed shirt, Gojo’s face so close Suguru can count his eyelashes, feel his breath brushing on his skin. A soft, lingering warmth of an almost touch tickles his nape, and he sees Gojo indulging, hazy and lost, and Geto remembers. With lucidity — one rarely attached to his brain in those undescriptive long days — he knows the feeling of that hand on the back on his neck.

Except, of course, that he can’t. That’s a dream more than a memory, and uneasiness travels down his spine.

It’s not the intimacy nor the familiarity of it to nauseate him. It’s how he yearns; and equally, how that yearning’s alien, because it feels attached to a body that isn’t his own.

Something shifts in the air, which is tense now, and makes Gojo deliberately step away.

There isn’t a inch of regret in his face. The audacity.

“Your pass picture is awful.”

“I’ll pass your feedback to the photographer.”

“It’s a selfie, isn’t it?”

Suguru tilts his head and smiles. Gojo shakes his head “Unbelievable.”

Suguru plays with his pass to push back the ticking remains of Gojo. “I’ll get going then.”

“No,” Gojo fumbles for a second, fidgeting. Geto raises an eyebrow at him. “Have you eaten? Would you like to—“

“My break’s almost over.”

“Oh.”

His expression unravels in something vulnerable, too open, so that Suguru bites his tongue and doesn’t ask, did you feel that, too, just a moment ago? because it would sound deranged and like a cheap pick up line, playing into Gojo’s shameless flirting.

“Thanks for the rice, then.” Gojo clears his throat, starting to look a little bit like the man he meets at night.

It takes Geto a moment to understand he’s talking about the rice cooker. He nods, despite that machine not leaving him any other choice — minimum capacity was half a kilo. The design was for a family rather than a single man.

“Weirdly how the smell of fresh rice,” Gojo adds, “can make a place feel like home, uhm?”

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

After, when Geto’s back in the office and his heart is rushing in the right anatomical places, the world realigns.

Of course, he’s probably catching a cold. He’s tired. The heat’s suffocating, never something he dealt well with at any point in his life, and his project’s deadline approaching. That’s all. Because what was he actually thinking. What was he actually feeling.

Maybe he should give in to Gojo. They should fuck. That will make him snap out of it.

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

At night, he dreams of a warm blue spring.

There are flashes of lights — lazy days rushing to get the train; sun reflecting on transparent water; orange petals falling on an open cola can.

Waters ripples in perfect circles around his body, and there’s something else. It’s warm and dense on his face.

He thumbs it away. It’s blood.

Suguru jolts rather than wake. The alarm drills a hole in his brain, sharpening reality around him. He reaches for water before tending to his loud phone, desperate to temper the disgusting taste in his mouth. When water isn’t enough, he brushes and brushes his teeth and tongue, until he’s won by sickening persistence on his palate.

It makes him reject breakfast and skip coffee, leaving in a discombobulated haste to avoid peak rush hour. His thoughts go briefly to what he has to do — groceries, help Mimiko with her club’s project, dry clean Gojo’s suit — before the emails on his work phone start to ping up. A couple of commuters shots him some nasty stares, annoyed by the noise.

“Do you think there’s meaning in what you do?”

The mechanic pencil Itadori’s dragging on a notebook stops briefly, “In selling you our annual stock of umbrellas?”

Geto gives him a genuine smile. “Maybe?”

Itadori looks up, and takes in the two plain onigiri Geto placed on the counter. “Uhm, then, yes. You’re not getting rained on most days, no?”

“Is that enough?”

“I’m helping, somehow. Even by vehiculating capitalism, if you can believe it. And you know, I won’t be here forever. After graduation—“ and then he halts, head bobbing up the same way puppies do in front of a ball.

Suguru turns to find Gojo - grinning, one hand up to say hi - and Megumi trailing behind him.

“I’m sure Fushiguro will have a better answer,” Itadori says, leaning conspiratorially towards Geto “He’s smarter than me.”

“I’m not.” Fushiguro says, on cue, unceremoniously walking behind the counter and next to Itadori. He looks down at the notebook “But this is mostly wrong.”

Itadori squints “Where?”

“Here.” Gojo points somewhere in the notebook, crunching so that he can be at the same level of the two boys. He picks up the pencil, and points again, “But the real issue is…”

“Ohh.” Itadori muses, and follow with rapt, almost undivided attention, “Sensei, you could’ve make the coursework easier.”

Gojo laughs, while Fushiguro, almost completely overshadowed by the unprompted lesson, stares quietly at Itadori. Geto leaves the 300 yen for his dinner on the counter.

Before Gojo can finish his next string of explanations, Suguru grabs him by the collar of his shirt and yanks him upward, effectively lifting him with less strength that Geto thought he’d need. The man isn’t build to be lift as easily as a feather. Yet, past the initial faint supplies, he follows Geto's pull with little complain.

“What— are you doing?” Gojo glares at him, the down at Suguru’s grip on his collar, then back to where Suguru’s eyes are.

“Come,” he says, “Help me curse some minor criminal.”

☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

“I’m not six.”

“Your previous curse was about frogs.”

“And what’s your point?”

Gojo elbows him and tried to type down the screen, sunglasses firm in the top of his head.

“You’re good with kids.” Suguru says then, watching Gojo trying to type wart and on your face on the monitor.

The man barely shrugs. “I’m pretty sure Itadori’s twenty.”

A child in Geto’s eyes. A toddler. Geto’s twenty-eight, but he doesn’t remember being twenty. All he can pinpoint from that year are Mimiko’s school recital, Nanako’s first crush, the green mold eating their bathroom’s walls. “Shouldn’t he be in kindergarten then?”

Gojo side glances him “I thought you were my age? Don’t speak like an old man.”

Geto elbows him back. He should go back to the office. There’s so much left to do before he can wrap up for the day. “I never told you my age.”

“Well, then I hope you are. I’m twenty-nine in December.”

“Yeah.”

A huff. Gojo tilts his head to watch him, and Geto wonders how’s possible that looking at someone can leave you with such a warmness rooting in your chest. He swallows, the aftertaste of the morning still there, still a reminder of his fragmented sleep.

“So you teach?”

Gojo nods, “Yeah, Jujutsu Tech is just around the corner from here.”

Humming, Geto turns to the machine again. “You don’t look like a teacher.”

“I know, I’m definitely too attractive for the profession.”

“Absolutely not.”

There’s a laugh. “Well, I also work at my family’s company.”

This is where the late nights and expensive flat slots in. “Why do you also teach, then?”

“Because there’s meaning in that,” Gojo says, not thinking about it. “I’m raising a new generation, you know? Then they can sit where we are and take better decisions.”

Gojo doesn’t know how that makes Suguru’s heart sink. How it sounds stupid, because children talked like that; or people for whom the world was a blank canvas for them to paint.

“See?” Gojo smirks at him, filling the brief moment of silence “I persist to be the number one at lame. Where’s my trophy?”

Instead of scolding him, Suguru slaps away Gojo’s hands from the screen, and proceed to cancel every single word he typed.

“What on —“ he stops, for a moment “Steal this and you’ll find the love of your life? What kind of threat is that?”

“Don’t you know?” Gojo says, “There no curse more twisted than love.”

Suguru blinks. “Are you insane? Who speaks like this, anime characters?”

Satoru startles, faintly blushing, looking tremendously younger when his shoulder bumps into his. “You clearly haven’t been in love.”

“I have,” Suguru rebuts, “But love isn’t just romantic. How can you—“

Then he stops when Gojo focuses too closely on the machine, when he catches the veil of uneasiness at being betrayed by his own words. It dawns to him how Gojo, who’s always the biggest presence in the room, who seem to waltz in the world and get what he wants, who spends hours of his days hanging in a convenience store with his students, deep dark rings masterfully covered by his shades, might, in fact, be lonely.

“I’m not printing that.” Suguru says, at the end, looking away. “I’ll wish them to be eaten by a crab.���

It’s not that funny, but Gojo laughs regardless.

[moljh]

Unwanted Reunion

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: You convince your husband Eddie to attend his 10 year high school reunion and as expected it doesn’t go well.

General fluff, mentions of sex, minor violence

Unedited 

This was your first time in Hawkins, despite your efforts to persuade your husband to bring you back to his hometown, he had always had a strong stance against it. But when the letter arrived in your mailbox notifying you of a 10 year reunion, you had badgered him until he finally agreed.

You had been with Eddie Munson since college. You'd met in a class that he later dropped out of, but continued seeing each other after that. After Eddie dropped out he opened his own mechanic shop, which gradually grew to multiple stores which were all incredibly successful.

Eddie always made little side comments about getting married but he didn't build up to ask you until the day of your graduation. Your family and friends had been there and whilst you were too busy trying to watch where your cap had been thrown to, Eddie had gotten down on one knee.

You'd been married for 5 years now and you loved Eddie more that you could've ever imagined.

The drive to Hawkins was easy, most of the roads were pretty flat in this area, according to Eddie's constant facts. Despite his continued trivial knowledge, you knew something wasn't quite right as he only rambled like this when he was nervous or trying to get something from you.

"What's wrong?" you bluntly questioned him

He kept his eyes on the road and replied dimly "Nothing’s wrong"

"Eddie" you said in your warning tone, causing his eyes to flick over to you "what's the matter? You've been acting strange ever since we left home?"

"It doesn't matter" he assured you "it's stupid"

Despite his clear desire to drop the conversation, you knew he wanted to talk. He wasn't as hard to read as he'd like to think and you especially could read him like an open book.

You softened your gaze and softly said "It's not stupid, c'mon, what's wrong?"

He let out a small sigh "You know how I always say you never would've dated me in high school?"

"Yeah..." you replied, unsure how this related

"Well there's a lot more reasons behind that then you think. I wasn't exactly liked back then"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I went to school in a small town in the 80's, people didn't exactly like different and I was pretty different"

Eddie continued to tell you more about himself, most of which you knew and some you hadn't expected.

"You've seen the pictures, I had tattoos, I listened to metal and played D&D. People thought I worshipped Satan and was evil, I wasn't really liked or even wanted around, they were probably all glad when I left"

"I'm sorry Eddie" you said placing your hand on his knee "If you don't want to go to this thing we don't have to, we can just go and visit Wayne and then drive home tomorrow"

"No," he said "I want to you, I want to go in there and show them all that I didn't end up in jail like my shit dad and I made something of myself"

You squeezed his leg and coughed a little reminding him of you presence.

"And I landed myself a fucking hot ass wife!" he shouted

You laughed at his choice of words.

"Ok, I'm glad" you reassured him

"Yeah, me too" he said

"I'm also glad I brought two different outfit options just in case"

Eddie looked at you sideways, raising a brow "what kind of outfit are we talking about here?"

"Remember your birthday?" you smirked

You could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought back to then "I think you might be arrested if you go naked"

You smacked his leg in response "No you idiot! What I was wearing before that!"

"Ooooh..." he said in realisation "Oh yeah, that'll do it"

It seemed to amaze you that despite distance and state lines, somehow the interior of a public high school always looked the same. The same linoleum flooring and white walls with some sort of colour attempted to be painted onto them.

As you walked inside, you could feel Eddie's grip tighten around your arm. Making your way down the hall, Eddie glanced around at the lockers and pictures along the corridor.

"See that locker?" Eddie whispered to you, pointing out at one

You looked in the direction and assumed it must've been his "That's where I made a pass at Mindy Cornwell and then her boyfriend punched me"

"Eddie!" you looked at him horrified "why would you tell me that?"

“Hey, you're the one that wanted to know my high school experience..." he defended "not my fault it was shit" he muttered

Coming to the end of the hall, you walked up to the table that was set up at the entrance of the sports hall. From where you were you could already see the obscene amount of decorations and lights beyond the doorway.

"Name?" the blonde lady in front of your asked, giving you a smile and looking down at her list

"Edward and Y/n Munson" you said

The expression of shock was evident on her face, she didn't do anything to bother to conceal her expression and even felt so bold to do a double take.

"Is there a problem?" you insisted, feeling rather observed

"No, sorry" she spluttered, searching the table for the name stickers

Picking them up, she handed them over to the two of you and you headed on in.

"Hey relax" you whispered to Eddie, gently giving his forearm a squeeze "we're in, one part down"

"Thank you," he said, pressing a soft kiss to your head "you know your amazing right?"

"Only cause you like to remind me" you laughed "c'mon, let's see if we can find Robin, she told me she was coming tonight"

Making your way around the room, you noted the large 'Class of '86' banner along the wall. You were surprised at how many people were already here, though based on what Eddie had told you, it seemed like most of them hadn't moved away.

Just as you were about to finish your lap of the room, you spotted the person you were looking for.

"Robin!" you exclaimed, pulling away from Eddie and dashing over to your friend.

"Y/n!" she shouted back bringing you into an embrace "how are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?" you asked, then noticed her lack of companion "Where's Sarah?"

"I'm not too bad, unfortunately she got called back into the hospital last minute"

"That's a shame, I was looking forward to seeing her again"

Over the years you had met a few of Eddie's friends at random times, but when they had all come to the wedding you got to see the true chaos of them together. Since then, they had all come and visited you occasionally, and you had visited them as well. So you'd gotten to know them all and become pretty close with Robin.

"Hey Rob" Eddie cut in, re-joining your side "guessing y/n's already beaten me to the small talk and niceties?"

"I'm afraid so Eds" Robin sarcastically remarked, shaking her head slightly "unfortunately once again your gorgeous wife had proven she's far too good for you"

The three of you continued to chat and catch up as the evening progressed. You could tell Eddie was doing his best to avoid heading back into the larger group, but you didn't mind, you were here for him, not for yourself.

"Hey," you interjected "I'm just going to go grab a drink"

"Did you want me to get it?" Eddie offered

"No, that's ok"

"Ok, well can you get me one as well?"

"Sure"

Weaving your way through the crowd made you way over to the table covered in food and drink. As you were getting yourself a wine and Eddie a beer, you overheard something that caught your attention.

"Oh my god did you hear the freak is here tonight?" one voice said

"I can't believe he isn't in jail or dead" another spoke

"I heard he's going bald and is broke and he's back in town to move in with his uncle"

"No, no, apparently he's here with a woman, Michelle said he brought his wife!"

"You're kidding!"

"No way! She must be blind or stupid if she married Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson"

You stood there stunned for a moment as the realisation that these grown women were gossiping about you and Eddie hit. You weren't sure what to do for a second, as you registered their mean words and childish behaviour.

"Sorry can I just get past you?" a voice pulled you away, glancing up you grabbed your drinks as a blonde haired man stepped beside you

"I'm sorry, just lost in thought" you politely smiled

"Don't worry, just getting a top up" he laughed, gesturing to the empty beer bottle in his hand "I don't seem to recognise you, did you go here?"

"No, no" you replied "I went to school in North Carolina, I'm here with my husband, he's the one that went here"

"Oh really, what's his name, I might've known him?" he asked "I'm Jason by the way"

"It's nice to meet you Jason," you replied "his name is Eddie, Eddie Munson..."

Once again that evening, a shocked look fell over another persons face. This man who you'd known for all of five seconds gave you the biggest look of bewilderment and confusion.

"Eddie Munson?" he finally said, questioning you as if you'd said the wrong name "Eddie Munson is your husband?"

"Um yes..." you replied, unsure why he was so confused by your words

"How the hell did he get someone like you?!"

You weren't sure how to answer that, so you just tried to defuse the situation by laughing, though it sounded more nervous that you would've liked.

"Well it was nice meeting you Jason, I better get back" you said, trying to rush away, suddenly very uncomfortable by the change in conversation

You quickly walked back over to where Robin and Eddie were still standing and you quickly rushed to Eddie's side.

"I'm so sorry" you told him, cringing at what had happened

“Why are you sorry?" Eddie questioned, raising a brow

"I may have accidentally just spoken to your least favourite person here..."

"Mrs O'Donnell's still alive?" he said in shock

"No you idiot" you shot back "Jason Carver"

"Oh, that makes much more sense" he paused for a second and then huffed out "why?"

"I didn't mean to, he just started talking to me and by the time I worked out who he was it was too late to just run away"

You couldn't hide away for much longer, as you spotted out of the corner of your eye, a few people looking your way. Gradually as you heard Jason's words get louder, presumably with the help of some more alcohol, more people began to notice you. Usually you wouldn't care about people looking but it was clearly making Eddie uneasy.

Before you knew it, Jason and a few others that looked just like him, appeared before you.

"Jason" Eddie said flatly, trying to not acknowledge him

"How did you do it Munson, actually what did you do?" Jason laughed not wasting any time and clearly a few drinks in "You knock her up and force her to marry you or are you just paying some random hooker by the hour?"

"Fuck you Carver" Eddie replied, clearly angered by his words

"Oh the freaks got a backbone now does he?" Jason said, moving closer towards Eddie "cause last time I remember the only thing you were good at was running" he spat

Eddie didn't give Jason time to react, let alone retaliate. In one strong hit, Eddie swung and Jason was on the floor. Everyone gasped at the sight and you heard Robin shout some sort of profanity.

Your eyes widened at your husbands sudden act of violence but you didn't feel sorry for the excuse of a man on the floor. Somehow amongst all the shit talking, it clearly hadn't been mentioned that Eddie did hard physical labour all day and wasn't just playing board games anymore (though you did still have the box in a cupboard at the house).

"Don't speak like that to my wife again you asshole" Eddie said, grabbing a hold of your arm and marching you out of the gymnasium

He didn't say anything as you two rushed out into the night and towards your car. You still were sure exactly what was happening, it all played out so quickly, you hadn't had time to process.

"Eddie, woah, woah, just stop for a second" you begged

"I'm so sorry y/n" he said, looking back at you with hurt eyes "I never should've come tonight, I knew that it wouldn't have gone well"

"Hey, stop... This isn't your fault" you said, bringing your hands up and gently holding the sides of his face "I'm sorry I forced you to come"

"This isn't your fault either" Eddie was quick to reply, "let's say it was no one's fault and move on?"

"Sounds good to me" you smiled "though I do have to say it was pretty hot you knocking that jackass to the ground"

"Well I'm glad it looked good cause it fucking hurt my hand" Eddie muttered clutching his right hand "but I wanted to seem cool"

You couldn't help but laugh at your hopeless husband. Even in the shittiest situations he managed to be ok and make something funny, which is something you loved about him.

"I am sorry about what he said about you," Eddie said in a more sincere tone "no matter how much they hate me, that was just wrong to say all those awful lies"

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you breathed in his cologne that had been the same since you met.

"How about we go?" you suggested and the two of you got into the car

As you were driving along, the headlights guiding your way on the dark road, a realisation popped into your head.

"You know..." you said, pausing for a moment, trying to think over your words "It wasn't all lies"

"What?" Eddie replied clearly confused "Um... Unless you've changed jobs, last time I checked you weren't a cheap hooker

"No, that's not it" you said

Eddie clearly wasn't listening to you, lost in his own train of thought "I'd hope you'd at least be a high class one, for politicians and stuff, you know, important people" he went on

"Well I'm glad you think I'd made a good hooker" you chuckled

"Only the best for my girl" he smirked at you

Rolling your eyes, you looked down at your feet for a second.

"No Eddie," you softly said "I mean... technically you did knock me up"

Your words just about made him crash the car.

In a flash Eddie had pulled over on the side of the road and flung around to face you in the passenger seat.

"What?" he stared at you blankly "are you serious?"

"Yeah" you smiled nervously

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit" he excitedly shouted

He froze for a second and suddenly looked back at you again.

"How long have you know? How far along are you?" he rambled

"I've known for about two weeks now, and the doctor says I'm only a month along"

Once again Eddie froze and he didn't utter a word for at least a few minutes, which had to be some sort of personal record.

"That fucking dress!" he exclaimed "God it really was a good birthday!"

You couldn't help but burst out into laughter as Eddie put the pieces together. Hopelessly smiling at your husband, he pulled you towards him and held you tightly as the excitement of what was to come became reality.

[lumosinlove]

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Two: Finn

Finn and Logan’s Flat

London, England

They had emergency measures in place. Logan had sat him down one night. Finn had been in this exact chair. Whiskey in the glasses Logan had brought him back from Ireland. Beautiful crystal carved things with diamond-shaped clovers. Finn didn’t know why he had been in Ireland that time—or any other time—and he never would. Now that set of four haunted Finn’s liquor cabinet.

“No one will know,” Logan had said. “No one but us. If you need me—need me to know something, you call here, and if I need you to know something, I will, too.”

On Finn’s side of it, he had a phone number. Just four digits. He didn’t know how it worked or how Logan had set it up. He purchased a burner phone with cash—never at the same store—and dialed the number. No one ever answered. He left a message. He’d driven two hours before to get to far away corner stores. Just in case something might give Logan away. It was hard to be careful when he didn’t know what he was dealing with.

The burner phones now haunted his bedside drawer.

Finn had sent it maybe twenty messages since it happened. Make that fifty. He didn’t know how Logan got them—or how he used to get them. He didn’t know if it was accessible by computer or a cellphone somehow. He’d only really used it once, with a response, when he’d gone into the hospital with a bad concussion after falling stupidly on a patch of ice. Logan, somehow, had gotten to him in less than a nine hours. Finn had been expecting it to take a day or two at least. Logan had arrived with a neat beard, fuller than Finn had ever seen it, and brown contact lenses in for some reason, but it was Logan. He’d taken the contacts out in the hospital bathroom and flushed them down the toilet before the very surprised nurse had come in to check on Finn and found him with a visitor.

Fingers through his hair. Logan kissing his temple—God, how was he losing that feeling? That was his favorite feeling. Mon Rouge…be careful. You have to be careful. Finn remembered smiling sleepily. But that’s what I’m always telling you.

Alive. He knew there should be a maybe somewhere in there but his brain wouldn’t add it. You’re alive.

Someone was letting themselves in. Key scraping in the door and footsteps Finn knew well. Leo took his coat off in the hall and paused long enough so that Finn knew he was reading the notes in the halls—even though he’d read them a thousand times before. Framed, creases and all. They were, what, nine years old now? A decade seemed so long, until it was cut short. Leo liked to read his and Logan’s love confessions to each other from when they were at school together.

“Chicken and dumplings,” Leo said from behind him. He put one container in the fridge and Finn couldn’t bring himself to turn around. The microwave went and what felt like seconds later, he had a steaming bowl in front of him.

Leo eased himself into a chair and, finally Finn looked up.

“So, they told you,” Leo said. His eyes were calm, but his face held worry.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it was Remus,” Leo said immediately. “And I would never let you get your hopes up and then…” Leo pressed his lips together. “But I’m glad Sirius and James did.”

“You found the footage?”

“Yes.”

“And…And you’ve been looking?”

Leo nodded.

Finn pushed a spoon around the bowl, watching it sink into the thick broth. “Why?” It sounded crass but Finn might’ve driven himself mad if he had the capability to never stop looking for Logan. Instead, he was in a dark sea, unable to even know quite what had gone so wrong. So very wrong.

“Because I loved them, too. Or, love. God, who knows what to say.”

Finn nodded. Of course. Of course. He put his hand around Logan’s necklace.

“Make sure you eat that,” Leo said softly. He ducked his head a little until Finn looked at him. “Are you going to be okay here tonight?” Leo whispered. “Alone?”

Alone.

Sometimes Leo stayed. Sometimes, Finn didn’t know what he’d do with an empty bed every night and so sometimes Leo stayed. Just the weight of another person—but sometimes it tricked Finn. Sometimes he reached out and thought—and thought. Wrap his arm around Leo’s waist or, God, even worse, tuck his nose up against Leo’s neck. Finn felt so bad about it he could cry. But then there was Leo’s blue eyes, sorry and wishing he could take the pain away. They would both apologize, maybe squeeze hands, and roll over.

“I’ll be okay.” Finn really needed to be alone. He needed no one to know about his little phone habit. Not even Leo.

The second Leo was out the door, Finn covered his face with his hands and dug up the burner phone package from his desk drawer. He’d broken the rules, he’d gone four blocks over to a store he’d been to before but not for a long time. But he needed it. He needed the connection, no matter how broken it might be. He cut through the plastic with the blur of tears in his eyes. He assembled it, watched the green light of the screen blink to life. He punched in the familiar numbers. 1017.

It rang, tinny and lazy. Then, the familiar beep.

Finn’s mouth went dry. He’d always been able to say anything to Logan. Everything.

“Logan,” he whispered. “Lo, are…” He squeezed his eyes shut. He covered his face with his palm. “Are you alive?”

He always expected an answer. Breathing on the other end of the line. Maybe it was just the nature of holding a phone up to his ear. Reflex and expectation. Lately, Finn talked into the burner like Logan was there. Some horrible way of coping, he’d guess any doctor would say. Phone calls to a ghost, how fucking dramatic was that?

“It’s almost Christmas, you know,” Finn said. He traced a crumb around the table with his thumb. Who knew what it was from. “I’m supposed to go to New York. See Alex and…and everyone. Well, Jesus, not everyone. Not you.”

Finn didn’t realized his eyes had closed until he thought he’d been quiet for too long. He checked. Nearly twenty seconds had passed.

“It does feel cold enough to snow,” Finn said. “My classes are almost out. I think no one’s going to be there on Wednesday. I don’t even want to be there myself. Martha—you remember Martha? She…” Finn swallowed. “She asked about you the other day. She wanted to know if we were doing anything special.” Finn felt his lip tremble, let his eyes fill up. “Like—Fuck, like going to the beach or something.” His voice was pitching up in the way it did when he was trying not to cry. “And I thought about Spain.”

It had seemed like Logan hardly even had to look at people to get what he wanted. Those green eyes of his. That soft, nearly bashful smile. He’d been wearing what looked like a very expensive suit when he'd met Finn in the tarmac.

“Finn. Rouge.” Logan had kissed him so hard. Finn could feel the way Logan’s palm had curled them into each other. Logan had had a cut just above his lip. “I missed you. I missed you.”

Finn had clung to him, then laughed and looked him up and down. Linen shirt, open at the collar, fine-threaded tan jacket. So gorgeous. A little banged up maybe, but nothing serious. The barely there bump of his gun at his side, unreadable if Finn hadn’t felt it with how close Logan was holding him. What are we doing here? You can’t come home yet?

Oh, mon rouge. We are doing absolutely nothing, Logan had smiled, and taken Finn’s bags from him.

It hadn’t felt like nothing. It had felt like breakfasts of fruits and pastries. Watching Logan’s skin turn golden as they lay by the pool. Long nights of rocking into Logan’s body, pinning his hands up above his head in the way he liked and trying not to blush every time they came back to find their sheets changed and freshened. Running his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan’s head on his chest, listening to Finn read aloud. Walking through small towns with curving, winding streets to get lost in. Buying a very expensive bottle of wine and drinking by the water. Kissing the flavor of Logan’s fig ice cream right out of his mouth. He was summer.

Now, Finn put his head into his hands and pressed the phone harder to his cheek. He could still feel him. Finn saw him everywhere.

“Remus is alive. Are you with him?” Finn let out a breath that was more a sob. He pressed a hand over his mouth. “Are you there? Because if you are, please—please come home. Come home.”

But no. If Logan could come home, he would have. No. He would have by now. Finn stood up so fast that the chair wobbled on its rear legs. No, no, no—

“No. I’m gonna come find you.” Finn knew he was probably breathing so heavy, crying too much maybe to even be understood. He sniffed and took a breath and said it again. “I’m going to come find you, baby, don’t worry. I’ve got you. Always, remember? I’ve got you. Yeah.” Finn wiped at his face with the sleeve of his sweater. One of Logan’s go-bags—a back up—was in the closet in the box with the spare sheets. “I’ve got you.”

“No,” Sirius said.

Finn’s ass was half frozen from sitting on his stoop, and he stumbled a little when he got up. “I’m coming with you.”

Sirius didn’t move. He just looked Finn over with those gray, unreadable eyes. For Finn, after the accident, it had been like losing friends, only without a fall-out or a fight. Finn was no longer privy to Sirius and James’ lifestyle. The connection was gone. He was exhausted. He missed Logan so badly that he wondered if he would die some nights, throwing on shoes and a scarf to do something, to go somewhere, because surely something was wrong in his chest for it to hurt this bad. Lily had come around sometimes, even James, but their faces had only hurt him. He’d thrown himself into his classes but without caring about them.

The only person left was Leo, knowing Finn was hopeless in the kitchen except for the occasional basic. But he was more than that. He was Logan’s closest friend on his squad. Maybe even Finn’s closest friend, too. They spent their evenings with Leo more often than not, and at first Finn had thought it was sort of like a rookie thing—Leo was a bit younger than them—and Logan thought he was lonely, but then he’d gotten to know Leo. When it wasn’t Finn and Logan, it was the three of them.

Sirius didn’t look the same. But Remus hadn’t exactly been his boyfriend. At least, Logan hadn’t thought so. He’d only been trying to get one of them to take the first step towards something more. But that was still something to be taken away.

“Jesus, Finn.” Sirius said. He shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. “Finn. God. Maybe we shouldn’t have told you.”

“No.” He sounded childish, desperate. “Sirius, please. Please, I can’t do this. I can do—” He looked around him, but he wasn’t sure what for. “Life. World. Normal. Whatever you want to call it. I can’t do it without him and now I can’t do the waiting for him. Not alone. Please.”

“No.” Sirius pushed around him, keys jingling gently. Finn heard them scratch at the door. Smelled the fish and chips he was holding. A few doors down, carolers were singing.

“I’ve been swallowed whole by losing him,” Finn said softly.

Sirius stopped, one foot on the step above the other. A wind picked up, all sudden and rough, like it knew the air couldn’t be too still between them. If it was, it would solidify and they’d never get through this. Finn would never move again, not until Logan touched the back of his neck, his cheek, and brought him back to life. I’m right here.

“I mean…” Finn looked down. “Losing him. Dead. Gone.” His voice caught and he had to breathe through it. “If he’s not then—Sirius.”

Sirius’ back was tense. His jacket looked too thin for the weather and he wasn’t wearing a hat or a scarf. Finn watched his shoulders rise and fall. Finn looked one way down the street—carolers—then the other. He always did this. Imagined Logan was somewhere near by, half in shadow, watching him. Not dead.

Sirius’ dinner crinkled in his hand as he turned around.

“It’s not all luxury and glitz.” Sirius narrowed his eyes a little, wary. “I know that’s the part Logan treats you to, but it’s not.”

“Okay.”

“You gonna be fine with that?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe we have to camp out on the roof of a building.”

Finn tried to hide his wince. “Okay.”

“All night.”

Finn grit his teeth. “I’ll do anything.”

“No food.”

“Will it help us find him?” Finn swallowed. “I mean them. Remus and Logan.”

“Maybe,” Sirius said. “Or just Remus. Logan might really be dead.”

Finn closed his eyes. That word. That word.

“Are you prepared for that?”

“No,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to know. That doesn’t mean I don’t want…I don’t know, his—his body.” But did he? Did he want to see that? It haunted him. Real, and true haunting. One second he’d see Logan’s smile and the next some horrible, gray version of his face.

“Most likely there won’t be a body. And if there was one, it would be…remains. Finn, it’s been months.”

“Then a confession. I don’t know. I just want—”

“I know what you want,” Sirius said. “I want it, too.”

“I have to come,” Finn pleaded. He took a step forward. “Sirius.”

Sirius took a step forward, too, meeting him on the steps. “These people we were dealing with when it happened—you cannot hope to understand them. They’re deranged. Worse than that, they’re wealthy and deranged, and we don’t know very much about them. We know they control a large blackmarket network and they’re only getting more powerful. We know they deal in weapons, and we know they have sleeper agents everywhere. Finn, you can’t trust anyone, do you understand? They got Logan, but who knows what Logan told you.”

“Are you saying I’m being watched?”

“Of course you are. By us and them.”

Logan never told him much. He let Finn smooth the crease in his brow. He let Finn bring him tea or his sugary, sugary coffee. He let Finn spoon up against his back and told Finn how that made him feel safe—one of the few moments in this world when he wasn’t worried about looking behind him. Logan let him make love to him, fuck all the weight of the world right out of him until he was weightless and slick with sweat and his own come. Let Finn hold his hand while they walked to dinner and home again. But he never told him anything. Not really. A country name here, a surname there. Nothing that meant anything to Finn. Never enough for him to put anything together.

They will never have a reason to need you, Logan would whisper in the dark. I will never give them one.

Who is they? Finn would wonder.

“No one can know you’re with us,” Sirius said. “You have to get your own flights.”

Finn nodded. “Okay, I can do that.”

“We leave tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“Hello there!” came a jolly voice from behind them.

Finn swore he saw Sirius’ mouth say fuck under his breath. Finn turned to see that the cluster of carolers had made it to them.

The man simply grinned at them, before turning and raising his hands in signal.

I’ll be home for Christmas… they began, and Finn turned back around fast, looking up at Sirius.

Sirius held a finger to his lips and, before they were even one verse in, turned and went inside.

You can count on me…

Tomorrow, Finn said. He didn’t even feel guilty about leaving the carolers mid-song. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

If only in my dreams…

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[exaltedfuzz]

HI I LOVEEEEE your Art I LOVEEEE your ema! I wanted to ask if you've played aa6 and your thoughts on aa6 ema! I really like that they brought her back and i really think they balanced her personality well by making her more upbeat because of her job, but shes not wholly optimistic either. I really like her relationship with prosecutor sadmadhi throughout the game too! I feel like there's a scale in emas mind from Most to least acceptable prosecutor men and on one end is Miles edgeworth, the other is Klavier gavin, and sadmadhi is in the middle. if that makes sense lol. I just think she talks like she doesn't like him, but she goes along with him way more than she would if Klavier ever asked her to do half the things he asks of her. Also I think it's really interesting that aa6 had ema and mayas first canon interaction! that was interesting to me because ema was sort of designed with Maya in mind and lana and mia obviously have some history, I think it was time for their sisters to meet too. sorry for the Long ask but I just treasure your interpretation of these characters so much!

Hi! I recognize your username from my notifs. Thanks for the support, and for your ask! 🫡 Glad you like the Emas!

I have mixed feelings on SoJ, but Ema is my favorite part of it. I like her a lot in it. She's still got a bit of the edge from AJ, which is nice to see. I like some of her new sprites too, like the swaying thinking one and the 🥺 one. Much prefer her munching sprite from AJ though. The shovelling snacks into her mouth is much more Ema. I also really don't like her official full body art for SoJ.

Unfortunately, Nahyuta doesn't really interest me... His design is too complex to do silly drawings of, for one. I feel like their dynamic was a little underdeveloped, a bit shoehorned in. It's a shame, because their backstories set up a possible dynamic that could be quite interesting, since Lana and Nahyuta kind of have the same motivations - writing team missed a trick. Also, I think Ema would have realistically been grumpier about having to fly halfway across the world every few days. It didn't reeeeaaally feel organic to me. But I do like the idea of their dynamic.

I like the way Maya and Ema interact, even if it's brief. Implies that they have met before, and they're friends, which is cute, though I wish it was a little more delved into. I feel like Maya's characterisation in SoJ is kind of boring. Not as bad as Pearl got it, but still nowhere near as good as she was in the trilogy. Honestly, the whole game falls flat for me when you compare it to the emotional weight the trilogy and AJ have. I really like some of the cases though. And Ema's mini games are great as always. Except the bit with the suitcase which lagged out my 3DS and made me restart it twice, haha. (Though, again! Her mini games were kind of better in the other games!!!)

So, to answer your question, I do like Ema in SoJ. And, despite my criticism, I do like SoJ! Just not as much as the other games in the series. When you play them all in a row, it feels kind of disappointing. I think it's because it's not on the intimate, domestic scale of the trilogy, which is where I think Ace Attorney really shines. (Case in point: Bridge to the Turnabout)

Super happy to see her in another game though, she's really fun, exactly what SoJ needed, and I'm really glad she was the detective they went for. Also, the outfit they put her in for the DLC cutscenes at the wedding is really really good. They were cooking with that one.

I'm really happy to hear you're interested in my interpretations, it means a lot. They're characters I've grown quite fond of.

This turned out quite long. Haha

Here's Ema and Nahyuta for you:

[websurfshark]

season 19 was a let down 😭😭

spoilers below!

i’m sure that over a year of hype doesn’t help my case here but i really was expecting something a little better 😭

i don’t mean to be too much of a critic in this post and sorry if i seem like i’m complaining but man 🧍‍♂️ full review here we go

sarges death was expected and the character arc that simmons got from it was pretty well done , he was cool — sarges death did just seem kind of rushed but that’s probably also time constraints , nobody seemed super affected by it tho and that kinda put me off ☹️ sure the reds were like Sad right after he died , and grif + simmons had the moment at his grave, but it’s literally not brought up again ? simmons just gets to be a leader kinda and tucker doesn’t get told he killed sarge, nobody else brings it up after the climax?? not even during the climax as they fight meta again ?

^ although sarges final moments were done very nicely and the va’s had a ton of emotion ❤️

along with that, wash’s acting was amazing as always

grif was characterized really weirdly throughout the first half of the season - i’m guessing they tried to make him the “straight man” of the group but it kinda fell flat because he just seemed irrationally angry every single time he spoke 😭 he kinda evened out as it went on tho so that’s better than nothing

Simmons was very kind this season that was interesting and cool He didn’t have a care in the world

animation was wonky at times but it was there - fight scenes weren’t monty oum style of crazy but they were creative with them and ill give them that! good callbacks during the fight

character callbacks were cool! i’m glad we got a little bit of kai (no reunion with grif tho so that sucks), dylan was there but she was kinda characterized weird, grey there, agent one (???) for some reason, 479er!!!!! she was well done and she fit really well into the plot!, no checkup on chorus life which was kinda sad (no lieutenants boohoohoo) some of the callbacks felt out of place tho

i don’t like how they handled tex cause even though it was cool she was back , i feel like we’ve done this dance a thousand times

also carolina quite literally came out of nowhere ?? how did she just ? drop from the sky what ??? LOL

absolutely no donut at all ? there was like one mention of him that i can remember ? lopez is just forgotten about back at the bases ??? i don’t know if the donut thing was something behind the scenes but Uhh

music wasnt up to par - they just reused old songs basically , the weird song that played during the “Memories” sequence wasn’t good

i’m not the hugest fan of the ais in general so i don’t think about them too much but i feel like sigma wasn’t characterized in the same way he was in the freelancer seasons — in pfl he kind of subtly manipulated maine into becoming meta etc etc but for tucker , he basically just like😭 tortured him WHICH IS PROBABLY CAUSE LIKE tucker knows This guy is evil Ahhhh!!! but still that was a little weird

no grimmons sad day for the rvb fandom - some scenes could be read as grimmons, like grif basically inviting simmons to go with him , i’m confused on why simmons stayed because simmons himself literally said One last mission ? so idk what he’s doing bro idk if he’s staying in blood gulch or what — grif just straight up leaves and like ? are they gonna see eachother again orrr ? what’s happening

the ending felt rushed and kinda weird - just vibes , i think i’m biased because i now realize that not a lot can beat the s13 ending , but even so , grif just kinda leaves and that’s the end 😭

i feel like we didn’t get a whole lot of conclusions for all the characters even tho that’s what was promised

overall i’m probably giving this a solid 5-6/10 , the season was overall very hit or miss in some aspects and scenes

ANWYAYS😭 don’t let my opinions take away from your experience with season 19! this is just how i felt about it after my first watchthrough and my opinions might/will change!

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Precinct 41 Major Crimes Unit

3. "It might have something to do with an anomaly in the church. A two-millimetre hole in the world."

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Corresponding to the twenty-centimetre hole in your brain? Sure. This theory has great symmetry. I see how it folds into itself neatly."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - Precisely, Satellite-Officer Vicquemare. It's Martinaise.

"Take this seriously. I suspect there might be something wrong with Martinaise."

"I'll explain later, but there's another man who's lost his memory. A *crab-man*."

"I knew you would be too closed-minded to understand *the anomaly*."

KIM KITSURAGI - "This sounds odd -- but I was there. The church on the coast was shaking from an audio-spatial anomaly. It may have been entroponetic, or perhaps related to radio waves..."

"Either way, it was real. I've even put it in my report -- you should read it. I do not, however, think it has anything to do with him drinking himself to the point of brain damage."

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Thank you, Lieutenant Kitsuragi. Just to clarify -- I do not think isolary entroponetics are a hoax. Pale produces global phenomena -- it's proven. However..."

"…what has *not* been proven is total memory loss after drinking too much Commodore Red. Honestly, I think he's just lying to us."

JUDIT MINOT - "But, Detective Vicquemare," she interjects. "He *has* blanked out before."

"I have?"

JUDIT MINOT - "Yes, a couple of times. After some of the more... serious benders." She pauses, remembering. "One was after the Two Drunks case, the other when we looked into that mural."

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Challenging: Success] - So you don't *remember* not remembering. Beautiful.

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success]- The two cases... in your ledger. The Unsolvable Case and the Next World Mural. Those were recent.

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - Those cases were hard on you...

TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "Interesting. So at first he dipped his toes into it. Prepared. That's where he would have gotten the idea -- yes. Practice. And then he used alcohol to 'get there', so to speak..."

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "What do you mean?"

TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "Well -- here is my theory: What if this is an absolutely normal reaction to the world we're living in? What if this is *not* a significant anomaly at all, something to be explained, approached as a defect? Look at the sensory input here..." He gestures toward the scenery.

"Look at the ruins, the neon, listen to the radio, the multitudes. The people. Live here for forty years... As a police detective, he's like a magnetic reader on the world-tape -- to borrow a known metaphor. Harry's been pushed *flat against it*. Total input."

"Hard-wired to the free market…" He nods confidently. "He just needed for it to end."

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Okay, Trant, thank you. That's... absolutely meaningless. I'm glad we brought you. Will he or will he not be able to work in the Major Crimes Unit? Is he a cretin now? I want to know *that*."

TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "He is *not* a cretin. And he *is* able to do work -- if not in his previous leadership role, then as a line detective."

AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] - Leadership -- now.

[kyouka-supremacy]

ooh how about Yosano for the ask game?

Yay Yosano!!! I love her so much <33

Favorite thing about them: Her backstory,,, It's just a masterpiece, for me it's really the peak of bsd's writing. “We don't want your skill. We want that kindness of yours” and “You don't need a skill at all. There's real value in your sadness.” ueueueueueueue. In two chapters it made of a relatively flat character a complex and human one, and we love to see that.

Least favorite thing about them: Nothing, she's great??? I can't think of anything.

Favorite line: There's no line that hits me in particular I can think of, but I really like the emotion / delivery of some of them. This one I like tons:

brOTP: Aaaaahhh I love her I want to see her interact with everyone. Older-sister kind of characters are ALWAYS my favourite. I love her dynamics with Ranpo and I like to think they have this sort of sibling complicity of two people who have known each other for a very long time and love each other deeply. I like her relationship with Fukuzawa, I like how explicitly protective he is of her, I'm glad she has someone she can trust who looks after her and makes her feel loved. (Actually, the Yosano / Fukuzawa relationship makes me emotional. Because Yosano was so deeply traumatized and broken and basically dead when he took her under his wing, and she looks so healthy and confident and serene in the canon timeline, it's basically a miracle; and the only way this could have happened is by having someone who deeply loved and cared for her, someone who kindly guided her through every step of rehabilitation. It moves me a little). I really enjoyed her interactions with Atsushi!! And I like to think Yosano and Kyouka would hang out, I feel like Yosano would be happy to sort of return the favour and help back a little girl who was able to slip out of the darkness just in time; I can see them have this kind of inter generational relationship where they go shopping together and chat about girl things.

OTP: I really like kousano!!! I feel like Yosano deserves her spicy pm love affair too ahah. I think it's got lots of potential for both fluff and angst, and I believe it's a cool relationship to explore for both characters!! I wish they'd meet in canon. When I first watched the anime I was low-key into ranposano, and though I don't feel very strongly about them anymore, I think it's a nice ship nonetheless!

nOTP: Nothing. Really I don't dislike ships pffttt.

Random headcanon: Something I don't think I ever brought up but that I firmly believe in is that whereas all the other ada members live at the ada dorms, Yosano, Ranpo and Fukuzawa have their own house where they live together. Fukuzawa took Ranpo to his home when he adopted him, and then Yosano joined them when they took her in because I mean, there was no way that they could leave her alone, right? So they've always lived together, and they are happy together, they never felt the need to change that. That's the real ada found family for me if there ever was one. Really like deconstructing the idea of nuclear family or of the fact that children can't live with their parents as adults while still being independent. Also it just makes sense? And it's heartwarming to think that Fukuzawa, the lone wolf with no friends of relations, now lives in a happy and lively household.

Unpopular opinion: Yosano existing isn't enough to beat the bsd being sexist allegations, I'm so sorry everyone I wish that was the case.

Song i associate with them: Kilmer by Niru Kajitsu, I just wish I didn't (个_个) There's even a beautiful fanart of Yosano in the style of the Kilmer pv here. Also Fräulein=Biblioteca by nyanyannya, just based on vibes alone (the purple butterflies!!), to mention something a little less depressing lol.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

(Took me like. One hour to pick just one. She's always stunning in Harukawa's art style.)

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[so2uv]

@ so2uv's sappy time.

end of the year. ive survived and that's scary but you know what? it'll be fine. we'll all be fine and im promising that; whether it be this year, the next, or far in the future, we'll be ok :)) it's stupid how this platform, one that my friends teased me for using, left such an impact on me as a person.

AKA. MY END OF YEAR MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST. (warning: these got long and sort emotional for me to write. well, as emotional as i can get fjkdhgkjfd. sorry if my coherence gets lost later on. forgive me if you weren't mentioned specifically for something; i have more mutuals that expected. it's genuinely surprising.)

if you weren't mentioned specifically, there's still a note for you at the bottom. sorry for making you scroll for long to find it :'DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @tiredsleep . . . the mutual who has stuck through it all. oh tired. tired, tired, tired. i think im a little stupid for how happy i get when you like a post or send an ask or keyboard smash in my reblogs. a lot of what i said in my long ask to you a while back is what im trying to convey now. the way we met wasn't through much special; i followed you and eventually you followed back. it was slow going in the ways we interacted but the nicest things take time and im so glad we're the way we are now. we're strangers, two little guys on the internet, and i think it's beautiful how we have this. you're an amazing writer, an all around amazing creator of the worlds you build and the characters you create. i don't think you realized how envious i used to be of you; you made it seem like it was easy enough for you to connect with others, your writing was something id never achieve with mine, it was flat out jealousy. it was my fault we were distant to begin with. i soon figured out that praise was correct: you are among the most wonderful people ive had the pleasure of knowing and talking to you, even if it's just through a screen. there's so much more for me to say that i constantly struggle to put into the correct words to get the point across. just know that you have great things out there for you. have a great new year, tired. we'll make it. im so proud of you.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @aelatus . . . the last standing mutual of all my og (close) mutuals. hello atlas! im not sure if you'll ever see this on tumblr since i know you don't log on much but you've been my mutual through three blog changes now; was there for my xstar-kidx era and kozmiixs stage. we've been through shit together, had banter about grammarly together, lost certain mutuals together, have changed blogs, changed themes, switched fandoms, fell out of love with fandoms. it's been a wild couple of years, huh? im so thankful we've met and got close in the ways that we did and that we're able to call each others close. your birthday is soon so in the case that i forget to say this on discord: happy birthday, the xiao to my albedo. live a life of freedom and joy, my love /p.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @izukxnnie . . . hara :((( i don't think you'll ever come to read this message but that's alright; maybe it's for the better kdfgh. i know i sent you that long winded ask on your blog already but i miss talking and interacting with you, even with all my awkwardness. im still so regretful of that one time i sent a request to join your world but then you were busy and i didn't read your messages until later that day as in hours later bc i was at school and idk if i ever responded to them in the end. maybe i'll send you a message on discord later. maybe i won't bc i'll be too sentimental. i really hope you're doing more than well, that you're happy doing what you do.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ay-asterisms . . . the mutual who introduced me to so many others. i really have you to thank for what i have now, ay. truly. you brought me deeper into the hq fandom and introduced me to jennie, atlas, and others. we don't talk much but i'll say what ive mentioned before, you remind me so much of the sun. but not as the bringer of life and the ball we see every morning; a sun in the sense that you're a star closer to earth but still a star, still out there where there are multiple. the difference is that you just happen to bring a warmth that others can't provide for ones nearby.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @cryo-locket / @lo-cinno . . . you. im not even sure how we became mutuals, and my memory is pretty good. we just spawned in each other's zones one day and went yeah, alright. honestly, ive never said this to anyone, but you were one of the reasons i decided to focus more heavily on chinese. our interactions reminded me of why i wanted to relearn the language for myself: for the social connections. i genuinely love talking to you and always find myself laughing at our conversations. mainly because our timezone dif is so odd so it's always late in the evening when im on. your ebg was so fun and with all the pain it brought / hj, im so happy to have been part of it. thank you for putting up with my 2 am rambles and crack, hope you found laugh or two with them.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @pr3tty-jennie . . . you intimidated me when we first met. i still remember it actually: you had that kamninari theme and the most recent post on your blog was about how you couldn't remember the word for chandelier in english but knew it in french. you've been through so much, endured so much, and i respect you so much. always have, always will. your life story and the past don't define who you show as a person and im so amazed by that part of you. have a good day, good week, good rest of your life pretty girl :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @june-again . . . it's crazy, you know? crazy how far we've both drifted off from the original fandom that brought us together? but that's character development. speaking of that, ive gotten the absolute pleasure of seeing you grow as a person and go through the motions of life. it's always chill talking to you, jokes come easy hah! you're an amazing musician, june. amazing person, amazing at writing, amazing at music; you're outstanding so in the words of Freddy fazbear from security break, way to go superstar! i knew you could do it and i know you still can.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @junjiie . . . the seungmin to my minho, the other half of 2min, the self proclaimed jeno to my renjun (have yet to be a dreamzen my b :(() and the no. 1 solieber. i was serious when i said you're the reason my other blog exists; you've been the biggest hype person when it came down to me going out of my comfort zone and writing. i was so nervous going up to talk to you at first kjfdhgkj but now, you're just another silly guy in my phone screen :DD thank you for sending all your updates about life and putting up with mine even though they never get answered- seungmin to not only my minho, but hyunjin too, let's keep being #Silly, yeah?? it's already the actual new years day when you're receiving this so i hope the year is off to a good start.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @sohyuki . . . MINT im hoarding the ask that you sent me on christmas day. im always so happy when you've shown up on dash and while im sad about how you've let tumblr mainly behind, i know it's for the better since well, interactions have been shit and probably will never get back up to the standard we held them to, even with all the effort put in. you are such an amazing all around person and like i said in my christmas note to you, keep writing. hoard it, feed into it, you have something wonderful going on with it.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @kamiyatos . . . user kamiyatos!!! lee!!! HELLO!!! it's always such a pleasure to talk to you and i hope you know that i keep your ramble about malleus' character and your plot idea for him in the back of my mind constantly, even though that ask has been lost to my actions of deactivation on my old blog. you're the biggest ayato fan i know who supports my works about him vocally AND you understand my vision on his personality... it's truly touching, y'know? thank you for being there, even when we don't talk as much as we should. i hope this year has been kind on you and the next one is even kinder.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @yinyinggie . . . yingyingyingyingerkjshkjfdg ok this may come as a shock, or maybe you already knew and were just playing along, but we used to be mutuals before the summer of last year. secret identity revealed ig?? eh im sure if you dig far enough into my dark past™️ you'll find smth about it so im not going to say anything about it :P but! one thing has stayed the same for sure: you are so easy and so fun to talk to and make conversation with. you know that ramble i left on the astro twerk form about feedback for the server? yeah. im 100% truthful. you've made something so inclusive and positive, have done to much to get tumblr active, please know that your efforts aren't wasted. im sure they feel like it at times but i appreciate it so much. and im sure others have the same sentiment.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @mhiieee . . . MHIEEEEEEEE MY SCARA FAN !!!! i love and adore your works so much and not to mention your characterization of scaramouche is top tier. ive got a lot to learn from you, mhie; i don't think you realize how much there is to admire when it comes to you as a person. you find such meaning and connection in the words and the world, the sincerity that comes with it,,,,, it makes me want to sob and roll around while also simultaneously wanting to take your brain apart neuron by neuron and psychoanalyze you. not in the freudian way though. ive had the greatest honor of being able to interact with you on not just one, but two!!! servers!!! i think it's a little silly how much i smile when you reply to smth dumb ive said on disc. have a great new year :))

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ryuryuryuyurboat . . . RYUUUUUU literally the most stunning person to walk the planet ever like. hello??? our first interactions came from that ebg funny enough. does a little ★🪽 anon ring a bell? i only ever got around to sending you one sabo during that time but i hope you did enjoy what i came up with on the spot, i never was very good when it came down to kaeya's character. you are so intelligent and such an amazing individual, please always remember that.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @snobwaffles / @2nobwaffles . . . SNOB SNOB SNOB i always think of the pokemon when your name comes up. in my head, you will always be snom, the bug-ice type pokemon <33 IT'S SO FUN TALKING TO YOU and we haven't been mutuals for long either. im always thinking of the advice you left me when it came down to my rant about an irls party and there's something about the way you're able to appreciate and take note and find beauty int he smallest of things that get brought up. i wish you the complete best that 2024 has to off you. keep calm and snob on :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @itaerae & @mins-fins . . . im putting the two of you together because well, i met you both at the same time through the server. while i can't consider it and, ive never really had such an inviting time in a server, much less a network, as ive had in zumblr. really, it's you two that i owe thanks to. our silly little convos are so fun and im forever thankful that ive found people to talk to on a server for once.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @https-furina . . . the best server mother fr!!! omg it's so nice talking to you :((( i love the warmth of your words and how your emotions shine through text. it feels like i can practically envision the fond eyeball or the warm smile that you may or may not have on your face when messaging. i’ve had such a great time in the network and your pet names fjfbdjdbjdb have a great 2024 heh :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @lethwal & @astrinityy . . . i don't think you guys realize how fun it was when we were all "debating" and accusing me of being a furry. honestly, i haven't had to stifle laughter like that in the middle of the night as hard as i did for a small while. not too long but long enough. it was a breath of fresh air and it was genuinely amazing to just be able to put the present on the back burner and play around like that. even though it was kind of late for me when that was happening- ignore that. it's always late for me when im online atp. i hope we can get past those baseless accusations you have both placed on me tehe. have a happy new years, you two. ALSO YIXIN!! GA-MING PROTECTION SQUAD RISEEEEE

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @/zumblr . . . there's so many of you and i can't find the proper words to express the welcome i felt when added to the server. it was nerve wracking, ive never really gotten around to talking to that many people or being that open on the internet before. it's funny how one summer can bring you out of your shell a little, eh? and all bc of some guys on screen lmao. thank you for the support and im happy to have met such wonderful people. thank you, again. @urielphix I AM. DETERMINED TO READ ADAD JUST YOU WAIT

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ everyone else, all my mutuals as of now and past, who weren't mentioned or mutuals who want to read something again . . . hello!! im sorry to disappoint by not adding you properly and for not giving a personalized thanks; it wasn't anything against it you at all. reason 1) i probably forgot as um. goldfish brain or 2) we just became mutuals pretty recently and haven't had the chance to really talk much / have been sort of long term but haven't talked much.

either way though, thanks for sticking around! im not the most. literate person. sometimes LMAO and im far from being a proud person of skill when it comes to the right words to say to people but im always happy when people find something worth it in my silly words. i hope we get to interact more in the future, as long as you can put up with my inconsistent (to say the least) replies and brain boggling posts that come from the depths of the midnight zone, that is. get ready for the ride that is this. clusterfuck of a blog place. LMAO,,,, if you haven't already scrolled through my stuff. if you have then um ready for more??? fkdjhgkjlghf

if you've made it to the end, thank you. and why?? im not that interesting or cool as everyone makes me out to be. if you had told 2019 me on tumblr that 4 years later, id be posting my works for everyone to see and also be proud of my own poetry, i would have laughed and called you absolutely insane. some of you have sat through me going through different gender and pronoun crises on dash back in 2020, and some of you ive only met this month.

whatever our situation is, i wish all the best for everyone . i’ll support you guys until the end of the earth and then some. have the happiest of happy new years, may your futures always be brighter than you say they are, and i’ll see you later 💛

sincerely — sol / jun

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

A Minute of Weakness

*Toko and Komaru take Kyoko away from the rest of the group for a moment. They walk down the hallway of the Tower towards a more private room.

I still can't quite believe that you did something like this Toko.

Well, somebody had to call the shots...Never thought in a million years I'd be the one doing it...

Why not? You've always had a good head on your shoulders...

A good head with a brain split in two...both sides diseased...

But I'll take the compliment.

*They round the corner.

So this..."unique little squad" you formed...I'm fairly surprised that you already brought backup even before our meeting.

???: That would be us.

...!?

Turns out Ms Fukawa trusts us more than I thought she would...

Hello Ms Kyoko. I hope the meeting went well.

Shuichi...!? Kaede...and...

!!?

*Kyoko looks up to see a familiar figure lounging on a windowsill above her.

...

Haji-I mean...Izuru...!? When did you get here?

1 hour, 6 minutes and 38 seconds ago...

I'm here too!

Chiaki! Well...What about Mahiru and Akane?

They're on their way as well. As soon as Toko sent out the call, they felt they had to act.

Mahiru was reluctant, but in the end, she decided she needed to help put an end to things.

*Izuru casually drops down from his height, standing next to Shuichi and Kaede.

As for me...I don't really care either way...Fukawa simply promised me with entertainment, so I decided to

Don't listen to him. He's glad to be helping, he's just real tsundere about it.

Hm...

Considering what odds we were against, we needed a hell of a lot of firepower. I don't expect Izuru to take commands from us, but in the very least, we can use him to get inside the base. What he does after that is his own decision.

I see...And what about you two?

I...I want this to be my first step towards atoning for the mistakes I made back at the lab.

And also...If what I hear about Makoto is true, it sounds like he's struggling through a similar frame of mind. Everyone helped me work out of that mindset, so now I'd like to pay that kindness forward and help him out in the same way.

There's two other things. Rantaro and Shirogane...

We fully intend to help our friend, and trust me when I say we've got a score to settle with that bitch...!

Sounds like you knew what you were doing.

Mostly, yes...Himuro has an additional scan of the building, so we should have no trouble getting inside, even with the exterior security. We could take them out in seconds flat should it come to that, but we can't risk Zetsubou catching onto us while their focus is on Makoto.

In that case, I'll see to the other forces and make sure we at least have enough strength to break down the barricade. I'll wait for the others to arrive and we'll head out as soon as we can.

[scentedsstuff]

I saw that you read ‘We Hunt the Flame’ which is a series I really enjoyed, and I just wanted to know your favourite things about the duology

The real question is what didn't I love about it? The duology overall is easily a 5/5⭐️ duology as it ticked off so many boxes for me. When I first read the synopsis I was already hooked.

1) First of all, it was the dual POV, I looooovvvvee dual POV in a fantasy book because you get to see exactly what another character is thinking/feeling/seeing in any given circumstance without having to infer or interpret things seen from the main character's POV alone.

2) Then there's the fact that the 2 main characters we follow start out as enemies by circumstance, it's not due to anything personal, just by chance. Any enemies to lovers variation, be that enemies to friends to lovers or enemies to allies to lovers that I get, I appreciate A LOT.

3) Then there's the mystery behind it, by that I mean the fact that they both knew each other by reputation and not much else. Nasir only knew of the Hunter and Zafira of the Prince/Assassin of death. It made following the story so much more interesting, personally speaking, and especially in Zafira's case I was always so excited when it was revealed to others that the Hunter was actually the Huntress.

The theme of mystery follows into the plot itself, with why can Zafira alone always find her way out of the Arz? What happened to the 6 sisters? Who is the silver witch and what part does she have to play in all of this? What really happened to all the magic in the land? There was so much to keep you thinking besides just the main characters themselves.

4) The integration of the language into the book. This is easily one of my favorite aspects of the book. Arabic is such a beautiful language, and I loved the way it was introduced and woven into the story so seamlessly. Some fantasy books can have this almost dictionary-like way of introducing new words to readers but I felt in the duology it was done quite well. An example I can think of is;

This is a favorite example of mine, it's quick, it's funny and it tells me that Habibi = beloved / is a term of endearment.

Continuing on from that, so much of the culture was introduced to the reader in a way that made you feel less like you were looking from behind a glass in and more like you were being brought along into this new world and culture without feeling like you were being talked down to.

5) The found family! The Zumra was a part of the book that I did not expect to love as much as I did. I've read books where characters are given one book to form a group/found family and sometimes it works and other times it feels forced and/or falls flat. In this case however, it worked out well. It felt genuine and not at all rushed, they came together as naturally as any band of strangers stuck on a mysterious and dangerous island together would. There was bickering, fighting, a lot of suspicion (naturally) but along the way they found comfort in each other, and not in any loud or obvious ways but small yet kind. Not in displays of affections such as hugs, or any physical contact but in choosing to sit with one another whether it was for dinner or for a chat, choosing to share a meal and eventually parts of their lives with each other.

6) Altair. Yes, he gets to be a reason all on his own. I was so scared he would only ever serve as the comedic relief and not much else, how glad I was when he wasn't. His sense of humor is top tier in my opinion, I loved his addition to the Zumra and his relationship with Nasir over the course of the duology was one of my favorite things to watch develop.

7) The platonic love. It was also nice to read about friendships where they were just that......Friends and there was no need to read into it more than that. I loved how it showed that you can just love your friends so fiercely without it having to indicate any sort of romantic feelings such as with Zafira and Yasmine, Altair and Kifah, Zafira and Altair, Altair and Benjamin, Nasir and literally anyone from the Zumra (besides Zafira) bcoz he finally has friends now😅etc

8) Nasir and his whole arc of letting people into his life. Throughout the books, it was this gradual journey of him allowing himself to grow closer to others. Not just that, but seeing that he was worthy of these relationships, that he was wanted. For me, I especially loved this dynamic with Zafira because he was the one that sought her out, even when they were merely allies by circumstance. You could see it in the way he would approach her first and almost try and justify his actions at times, even questioning why he felt the need to do this (but I feel it's clear why). It's similar to why he keeps Altair around despite all the bickering and threatening words, because they don't speak to him or cower away from him as if he were some monster, they merely see him, just as he is.

9) Let's continue looking at this dynamic in the romance aswell because the romance was 👌🏾💗💯! For me, I read their relationship as one where they both chose the other. Now what I mean by that is, previously Nasir had been pursued by someone and the same goes for Zafira. In this instance however, they both choose the other (what i'm trying to say is that he wanted her first and vice versa for her, it was not that scenario of them realizing someone had feelings for them and then reciprocating after finding out).

This can be seen when Zafira breaks down (in WHTF) and in his quick need to comfort her one of his first thoughts is to be affectionate and to kiss her but immediately he is taken aback, saying to himself 'When had he ever wished to kiss anyone?' showing how in the past he was the one pursued and did not initiate, so to him, this feeling of wanting to be affectionate and taking the initiative to simply be with someone was new to him yet part of him still clearly wanted to try (with her). In Zafira's case, it was finally reciprocating feelings which she herself harbored. It was all very sweet but ofcourse filled with a lot of angst and TENSION.

10) Zafira💗. That's all the point I needed to make on her. Just her is enough.

That's just to name a few things I liked/loved. I'm really glad you enjoyed the series anon and thank you for giving me the chance to talk about it some more! Take care!