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#god but the first three by the same author. THIS GUY GETS IT.
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well. i can't find my original fic rec list so here's a new (updated) one!
Daily Routines by The Garden of Unusual Delights (Shadowland) A number of people who feel depressed turn to comedy. Routines can also help. / As can having someone to care for. 4k words / oneshot / complete - TOP fucking tier. this rewired my neurons, shifted my view of Barnaby & his relationship with Wally, and also made me Deeply emotional
How to Greet New Neighbours by The Garden of Unusual Delights (Shadowland) He doesn't know what's happening, but he knows it isn't good. 8k words / oneshot / complete - STELLAR. an intriguing and engaging (and heartbreaking!) take on how Wally wound up sending material to the whrp
A Matter of Care by The Garden of Unusual Delights (Shadowland) When Julie is too sad to take proper care of her hair, Frank is happy to help out. 2.5k words / oneshot / complete - this person always gets characterizations Just Right, don't they? this a very sweet and tender moment between the besties <3
What to call it? What to call it? by Anonymous Wally tries to figure out what is different about the Neighborhood. But maybe there is no difference at all. 2.2k words / oneshot / complete - a fascinating exploration / behind the scenes interpretation of the secret 14 audios. the end always has me in my feels <3
Strings Of Fate by A_Cypress_Coffin Frank Frankly lived life by simply trudging along most days, but all of that changes when a new neighbor, quite literally, crashes into him. 27k / multichap / ongoing - a very fun interpretation of Franklydear and how the puppets perceive / experience / handle the true nature of their reality. i Cannot recommend it enough!
To Read a Clock by TurnedWorm Frank and Eddie try to teach Wally to read a clock. They get a bit more than they bargained for. 2.7k words / oneshot / complete - sweet and also Haunting! a stellar combination, and an interesting take on Wally's perspective. ngl it gave me chills!
my chest is bursting with abnormality by springtrap_wiki Wally realizes that something about him isn't as it should be. 1k words / oneshot / complete - a little peek into Wally realizing that he's different than his others neighbors. I like how this is handled - it hits home if im being honest!
Goin’ Out of My Head by 5_24 Picking someone up from the bus station seems like an easy task. But when adding Eddie Dear to that equation and the passenger just happens to be Frank Frankly, the results may vary... 5.4k / multichap / complete - genuinely funny, cute, and entertaining. the perfect read for a laugh!
Inside Jokes by The_PastelVoid In which the puppets are waiting for Sally and discover that Wally apparently has a contagious laugh when Barnaby tells what is called an "inside joke". 2k / oneshot / complete - pure fluff and laughs <3
Goodnight, Wally! by PastelDemon ... But what would happen if, one day, without any warning, Wally suddenly could sleep just like everyone else? 19.5k / oneshot / complete - very sweet with a sprinkling of angst, and an entertaining take on what a new-to-sleep Wally might be like
Welcome Home: Fantasy AU by ImaginatorOfThings What would happen if we took our lovable cast of puppets, and put them into a Fantasy alternate universe? 28k / series / complete - a VERY fun fantasy au with a fascinating twist. it made me tear up, it made me feel some dread, it made me smile! what more could we ask for <3
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byechristopher · 4 months
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Quiet.
– MATT STURNIOLO SMUT.
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Author's note: Y'ALL. Shout-out to my Matt girls. This is my first Matt fic ever. I love everything about this fic – I love when women get ready when their crush MIGHT be there, I fucking love petnames and I feel like Matt definitely uses a lot too, I love movie nights and Matt would definitely finger his girl under the covers, I love dom but gentle Matt. I love it. Bye. Do not copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: long and filthy smut. Minors dni! Semi-public?, fingering, petnames, dom!Matt. Didn't proofread!
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"So, can you swing by?" I hear my friend's voice through the phone.
"Absolutely. Heading to the market in a bit, grabbing some beers, and I'll be at your place by 9PM. Sound good?" I reply, rummaging through every drawer to find my wallet.
"Perfect, babes. See you there!" she says. After exchanging greetings, I hang up, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my pants.
Considering Matthew freaking Sturniolo will be there, I'm already dressed with makeup on, not wanting to waste a single second; I aim to be there ASAP.
Not that I'm trying to impress Matt (yes I am), but there's been a thing between us (I refuse to call it a "situationship") since we all started hanging out. I've been part of that friend group for nearly two years now, and from the moment I joined, Matt started being quite flirty. And ever since then, we just casually flirt, make-out, have sex.. very casual.
Now, after a few weeks of not seeing each other (though we talk on the phone almost daily), I want to be my best self. I've done my skincare, enjoyed a three-hour-long bath, styled my hair in loose curls, put on comfy clothes – the whole shebang. If I've done this for nothing, I'll scream. Internally.
None of this matters now, because I am outside my friend's apartment, clutching the paper bag of beers in one hand and my scarf in the other one. I knock on the door, patiently waiting but instead of my friend, of course it's Matt who opens it, dressed in his signature black hoodie, black jeans, his usual chain dangling around his neck and his usual rings decorating his fingers. He looks.. delicious.
"Didn't expect me to open the door." it's more of a statement than a question, so I smile and nod.
"Not really, no." I chuckle, not moving an inch.
"You told me you'd be here by 9. So I'm here." he says with that captivating voice, taking a step closer, slowly pulling the door handle without closing it.
Cupping my cheek, he moves in, rubbing my bottom lip with his thumb, gently 1smudging my lipgloss before leaning in for a kiss. I release my scarf to grab his free hand, tugging on his fingertips as I reciprocate the kiss.
"You look pretty." he whispers against my lips and I smile.
Before entering, I pause him, rubbing his lips with my thumb to remove my lipgloss from them. Chuckling at his knowing stare, I say, "come on, let's go!" gently pushing him inside.
God help me, he smells amazing.
After greeting everyone and putting the beers inside the fridge, I take off my scarf and my coat, heading to the kitchen again so I can help with the snacks and the beers.
"Guys, I'm sorry in advance but you're probably going to freeze your ass off. Something's wrong with the heating so I'll just give y'all a ton of blankets." our friend apologises but we all brush it off.
"Bitch, we used to hang out in dark alleys in WINTER when we were younger, literally shut up. We can take it." another friend says, rolling her eyes and I laugh. We are all living the same lives, it seems.
After deciding which movie we will watch, with the snacks and the drinks on the table and the blankets ready to provide us with warmth, we were finally ready. I did have my eye on Matt so of course, when he patted the spot next to him on the small settee while looking at me with a smile, I almost ran to make sure I secure my place next to him.
The movie has started already, Matt is sitting next to me and we have two blankets covering us – his hand is on my thigh and my thigh is over his leg. His thumb is rubbing my leg through my pants and it's much more distracting than I could ever imagine. I do make sure to curl up against his side and he smiles, making sure the blankets are covering me properly.
Not even fifteen minutes have passed and I already feel the need to pee; that goddamn wine. I excuse myself and practically run to the bathroom, only to come back a few minutes later to see Matt almost laying on that settee. All the lights are closed but I know he can kind of see my reflection because of the big TV screen, so he can see the question marks all over my face – where the hell am I gonna seat?
He smiles and he pushes the blankets to the side, sitting up a bit and spreading his legs so I can sit in between them.
Well, fuck.
Sitting down in between his legs, I grab his thighs to support myself and make sure my whole back is pressed against him, leaning back to practically lay on his chest. I pull the blankets over us and he pecks the top of my head, almost as if it was a reward.
Seeing where all of this is going, I thank whoever is up there because our friends are quite far from us, all fully facing the TV. Matt quickly wraps his arms around my waist, resting them on my belly and I can feel how cold his hands are even through my shirt. Minutes go by and I can feel Matt playing with my shirt, his cold fingertips already touching my bare skin, raising goosebumps on it. He drags his short fingernails up and down my sides, making me smile because he knows I like that.
His hands slowly drag themselves up, pulling my shirt over my chest, my breasts now free, "love when you're not wearing a bra." he whispers in my ear and I chuckle.
My hands are on his knees and his hands are on my breasts, cupping them and caressing them, pressing small kiss on my neck, "you smell amazing.." he whispers, "do you think you can be quiet for me, pretty?" he pecks the tip of my ear.
"Yes, Matt.." I whisper back, getting comfortable on his chest, still pretending to watch that movie.
His hands are massaging my breasts, rubbing and pinching my nipples with his long fingers, tugging on them every now and then – it is hard to keep quiet but I've done this many times, I'm sure I can handle it.
Sitting with bent knees now, he hums, pressing another rewarding kiss on the top of my head, "keep playing with your tits for me, hm? I'm gonna take care of you." he whispers and I want to moan just by the words he says.
I nod and cup my breasts instead, massaging them gently as I feel his hands moving down to my thighs – he massages them and spreads my legs open gently, placing his legs on my feet to keep my legs in place. I feel his fingertips hooking around the waistband of my pants and panties, gently pulling them down as I slowly raise my hips to make it easier for him.
"You have to be very quiet now, okay?" he says and I immediately nod, desperately needing him to touch me there, "tease your nipples. I want to see you struggling." he chuckles, keeping me close to him.
I gently hit his leg and he can't help but laugh – I keep teasing my nipples, just like he ordered, keeping my eyes to the television even though I can feel his fingers dangerously close to where I need him the most. Finally, one of his fingers gently touch my clit, rubbing in circle motions as his breath fans over my ear together with the softest moans. I can feel him dragging his finger down, only to chuckle at how wet it is down there – I almost whine.
"God, I wanna taste you. You're so wet." he whispers and circles my entrance, collecting my juices and focusing back on my clit.
"Matty.. please.." I whisper back, my hands now leaving my sensitive breasts, grabbing his thighs instead.
"Please what, sweetheart?" he says and gently slaps my pussy, making me gasp softly.
I couldn't speak – all I can think about is his fingers inside of me. But I feel like if I open my mouth now, I won't be able to keep my moans in. I buck my hips, needing to feel more pressure on my clit but he's having none of it. He pushes my hips down and flicks my clit in the softest way possible, which makes me want to cry.
"You know how it goes. Use your words." he uses two other fingers to spread my pussy, making it easier for him to rub my clit with his middle finger.
"Please.. Matty.. I need.. your fingers inside of me.." I beg between shaky breaths, trying to be as quiet as possible.
"See?" he kisses the side of my head, "there's my good girl." he says and just by that, I almost lose it. But then he finally pushes a finger inside of me and I have to cover my mouth with the blankets.
His middle finger pushes in and out of my wetness and I squeeze my eyes shut, really trying not to let out the moans that have been threatening to come out this whole time. His other arm is wrapped around me, keeping me in place as he rubs my clit and fingers me at the same time with his other hand.
"I'm going to add another finger, baby. I need you to keep that pretty mouth closed, yeah?" he warns – the hand that was gripping my waist is now keeping my mouth closed, I nod anyway.
He slowly takes his finger out and instead, he rubs my entrance with two fingers. He gently pushes and I wince softly in his hand, "you can take it, baby, shhh." he whispers and I really need to fucking moan now. He finally pushes both of his fingers inside of me and I want to cry from how good it feels. My nails dig into his thighs and luckily (for him), he's wearing jeans otherwise it would definitely leave a mark.
He starts moving them in and out, slowly, still covering my mouth under the blankets with his other hand as his lips move to my neck. He starts sucking on the skin, licking it and biting it as he pushes his fingers inside till he's knuckles-deep.
"I wish I could kiss you right now – the way you would moan into my mouth trying to kiss back, turns me on." he takes my earlobe in between his lips, gently sucking on it.
His fingers start moving at a much faster pace and I'm sure that if the TV wasn't this loud, everyone would hear the noises my pussy makes from how wet he made me. He curls his fingers inside of me and I close my eyes, really struggling to keep my mouth closed now, "pretty girl. Do you think you can take a third finger?"
I wrap my fingers around his wrist and slowly move his hand away from my mouth, letting him know I have my moans a little bit under control now (not even close), "please, Matt.. I need it.." I whisper, my voice is trembling. Still, I grab his free hand and pull it closer to me, taking a finger into my mouth and I can feel his bulge against my back.
"Darling, don't do that.." he warns, "or I'll have to fuck you in front of everyone." he whispers and bites my neck.
Finally, he's pushing a third finger inside and I really need to cry. He's finger-fucking me at a fast pace, he's being rough but gentle at the same time, it's overwhelming, "touch yourself, baby. And don't stop."
I quickly move my free hand, rubbing my own clit gently as he fucks me with force – I am so close and he knows it, I can feel myself clenching around his fingers.
"Matty.. Matt.. fuck, I'm – please.." I am almost completely under the covers because I can try to keep my moans in, but my expression definitely cannot be hidden.
"Are you going to cum for me, baby? Come on. Come on my fingers." he's so gentle when he speaks but his fingers are merciless, and that contrast is what drives me over the edge.
"That's it, baby.. that's it." he whispers and I finally cum, trembling a little but I try not to make it so obvious.
He takes his fingers out slowly, caressing my legs in order for me to calm down before he brings them close to his mouth, licking them clean, "when this movie is over, you're leaving with me. I'm eating you out in my car."
He drives me crazy.
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gremlingottoosilly · 7 months
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A bomb threat (And how it got you a boyfriend) special forces!Konig x fem!college!Reader
Konig saves you from a bomb threat when you get stuck at your Uni. Based on his bio - presumably, Konig was a part of the Austrian Special Forces before joining KorTac. He is also a bit of a dork and we have a bit of an obsessive episode.
Tags: Fluff, Reader is a cringefailure, Konig is overstepping his authority, hurt(not really)/comfort Warnings: Bomb threats, mentions of terrorism Word count: 2450
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Someone called a bomb threat in your college. 
Well, at least, this is what the automatic email is telling you. The email that was sent to you, about especially avoiding the library on the second floor because the anonymous(not for long, since they have a knack for exposing who the hell is calling those threats each time) caller said that there is a huge chance of the bomb being placed here. 
You know, the same library that you were sitting in, right now, reading this exact email on your laptop. You thought no one was around because it wasn’t a busy day, just after the major finals, with most people staying on campus only if they failed first tests or just wanted to get extra credits for some extra curriculum. Even if you were staying here just because you wanted to work on campus’s newspaper – the library is a good place to scoop for some rumors about the dean of the uni being three raccoons in a trench coat, or the lunch staff posing as Polish mafia. 
The thing is – it seemed like you were the last fucking person to receive the email. The thing is, there are only a few weeks left before summer break, and the campus already started to turn off major announcement equipment since no sports or other events are planned. Are you going to die? Probably, there is a huge chance of you dying, as you can feel directly in your bones – god, there are probably some terrorists or uni shooters or that weird Christian suprematist who are going hysterical at the mere sight of religion other than theirs. You are going to die, you are going to die, you are going to…
— Scheisse! There is a civilian! 
You were never particularly religious, maybe only at the time of finals and work submissions – and in situations like this, where you are already mentally preparing yourself to get blown up with unfinished articles and forgotten hopes and dreams and everything and…
You were never particularly religious – so you have no idea why your pre-death auditory hallucinations suddenly included an angel’s voice with devil's timbre and some huge, tree-trunk-like hands wrapping around your waist, checking you for possible injuries or explosive device. 
These hands are really huge – and muscular, you can see how tense they are even through your black uniform, and they are roaming over your body in a way that would make you scream bloody murder and file sexual harassment if it didn’t belong to an obvious angel. Angelm in special forces uniform, an angel with a really nice boyish voice and warm hands that are sliding to your thighs, groping and checking for every possible outcome – for weapons, probably, because you are literally the only person in the room that was deemed as a bomb threat, and if you were this guy, you’d also think that you were the culprit. 
His fingers linger on your hips perhaps a bit too long – you can him patting you down like you were heading to a club – and then he lets you go reluctantly, not finding anything except for your phone which he also checked for possible timers. The interaction lasted…a minute or so, but you are already hot and bothered, getting off the strong hands holding you, even though he already let you go. 
— Are you alright? 
He must have noticed your worried face and international student badge – his English is a bit accented but nonetheless confident. You never thought that small traces of German in a speech can sound so fucking hot but, perhaps, you are just traumatized and high on adrenaline and weren't getting laid for too fucking long. 
He wears a badge – something something long German words, huge design construction that made you think he must be pretty high-rank – knowledge that you only had because of the movies and games you were playing, trying not to get off the military kink too much. Something in the situation told you that you’d spend the whole evening searching for porn with guys dressed in all black today. Maybe, a touch of cargo. 
— Y…yeah. Fuck, sorry. I’m fine, fine. Yeah. 
You are rambling and he tilts his head to the side. This large, looming hand goes to your face – you wait for either a harsh slap to return you back to reality, or a passionate and deep kiss from your fantasies and dirty novels. He slowly traces his fingers on your face, getting up, in the hairline, searching for something – perhaps, a nasty head parasite that got you acting so weird around this random guy. Random guy who is just doing his job, securing that you’re safe, sound, and not going to explode in the next few minutes. 
— No head injuries. Gut. 
You want him to touch your face some more. You want him to check for mouth injuries, to evaluate the status of your lips. Maybe do some chemical tests with that gloss you were using today. Check the reaction with his tongue. 
He twirls you in place and you almost want him to press you against the wall. Search you some more, maybe get his hands a bit deeper, pass the oh-so-modest pants that made you look like a little bitch boy – his hand goes to cup your waist again, checking for anything that might catch his interest. Nothing – and you were never this sad about Hot wearing a concealed weapon that might force him to pin you down or get you into a chokehold with those massive biceps of his. 
— What were you doing here, ma’am? 
Studying in Vienna, you never found an Austrian accent this sexy. Never knew that you might like being handled like this before – it’s not romantic, not even in the slightest, but you smile a bit shyly, a bit awkwardly, and look at him from under your lashes, trying to look as innocent as possible. You are innocent – you weren’t doing anything, you were just trying to study and write in the last few weeks. Concentrated enough, so you never even noticed a fucking bomb threat. Didn’t hear soldiers running through the building, securing each room. 
— I…study here? 
You gulp loudly, taking a few steps away from the soldier. Allowing him to examine the room, deem it safe – the bomb threat called on your university was probably fake. Maybe a call from a paranoid individual, maybe someone with nothing better to do than pranking colleges. You seriously doubt anyone would try to blow up this place while almost none of the students are actually inside – especially the library during the low season. Even you almost decided to ditch the traditional writing atmosphere and just do something in the cafeteria. 
— Oh. 
His voice actually sounds…nice. Funny even, that small remark also makes him cough and look at you more seriously. He has a mask concealing his face, some weird hood or net on top of it – you try to see his eyes, but you can only occasionally catch glimpses of ice staring at you. Mysterious, you like it. Too mysterious, that little journalist club member inside of you is itching to get a look at his face better – you tilt your head to the side, contemplating just yanking it upwards and praying that he won’t kill you. 
Although you wouldn’t mind being crushed in his hold. 
— Let’s get you out of here, ja? 
You don’t question him when he suddenly picks you up – when the world starts to spin and you are pressed against his chest, his hands are supporting you under your knees and back. Securing you in place, making sure you are nice and comfy in his hold. You don’t ask questions when he slightly adjusts your hold so he can touch more of your thighs – you think he is just getting you comfortable, and you appreciate just how thoughtful he is. 
You don’t ask questions when he holds you almost like a bridal carry, even though you are certain you aren’t injured, and someone like him probably has more interesting things to do than saving poor college students who decided to ignore bomb threats. 
His hands are warm, his chest is even warmer, and his muscles aren’t even slightly trembling. You don’t know what sort of training those guys are coming through, but it must work – his steps are light and decided even when he can’t press you firmly against him, vest standing in the way. You don’t know what to do with your hands and you don’t want to mess with the government property – you think there is a law against fidgeting with special forces soldiers on duty – so you just get them on your knees. Like a good girl. Polite girl. Girl who isn't drooling over the guy who is just doing his job. 
— Thank you. For saving me. 
You whisper it in his headset – you are worried about someone else also hearing you, but there is something intimate about tilting your head upwards and getting right into his face, your lips millimeters away from the edge of his mask. You don’t want to sound suggestive, so you sound weak instead. You don’t to sound ungrateful, so you sound pleading instead. 
His hold on your thighs gets stronger. You lick your lips nervously, chuckling to ease the atmosphere a little bit. 
Your leg brushes above his waist – and you swear that you can hear his breath hitching. It’s impossible, you think, he must be a tough and content little soldier, perfect to save damsels in distress just like you – but something in his posture, in the way his fingers twitch slightly at the edges of your body, makes you think otherwise. Maybe, you’re just dreaming. Maybe, you know nothing. 
Someone slams into the room. Another man – shorter than the one who holds you, by a large margin, but none less intimidating. Burly, muscular, dressed up in full uniform which is expected – and with his face covered up by a similar veil or mask or whatever this is – which is unexpected. You thought that special forces would have something less eye-obscuring, but what do you know? You would be dead if the bomb threat was real. 
— Other sectors secured. No bomb in sight. Commander. 
He almost hisses, the similar accent in his voice makes your cheeks heat up even more. You feel weird, dirty even, thinking of those two large, intimidating men in such an intimate setting while they are just trying to save your life – but you try to silence that little annoying voice, to convince yourself that this is probably just adrenaline, ovulation and sudden urge to procreate before you would die. 
You feel your entire body stir when the man takes a step closer, looking at you. You can’t see his face, not even the outline of it – but you feel the burning gaze on your scared expression and obediently folded hands. 
— Gut. Other civillians? — 20 civilians in the building in total. University workers, some students. Already evacuated. — Any casualties? You hear a cruel chuckle from a shorter man. — If they were, you’d hear about it, sir. No, the sector is clear. — Gut. Dismissed – we’re finishing here. — What are you doing with the civi…
— Kruger, dismissed. 
The man who holds you is surprisingly stern when he isn’t talking to you. He used a much softer, quieter tone when he was talking to you, observing if you were hurt or in danger – and he is much, much different now. A cold voice, serious tone, the image of the ruthless commander flying in your head – well, at least you were right about his patches meaning something important. 
A shorter man leaves, and the door behind him swings open. To your surprise, the man who holds you – a mysterious stranger, you can’t even seem to find a name on his uniform – doesn’t let you go. His touches feel like you’re burning alive, he is igniting and brilliant and fucking perfect and…
He lets you down to the care of the local police department and some of the uni workers. His hand brushes over your face again – you think he was checking for the injuries but, then again, why would he touch your hair ever so gently only to move it out of your face to take a good look at your lips before letting you go? You’re imagining things, you probably must be – the man is just doing his job, he isn’t trying to fuck you in the nearest hallway even if you wanted him to. 
— Sir. I…thank you, really. For the help. 
— I didn’t do anything, Schatz. Someone must been playing a joke on everyone. 
You are going to find the guy – or a girl, or someone else, you don’t discriminate, everyone is equally capable of calling on the false bomb threats – who informed the special forces about the bomb in the building, and then you are going to kiss them. 
— What kind of joke is this? 
— A dumb one. 
He looks over to his unit – a group of tall, burly men, with weapons and uniforms and everything a girl could ask for – already packing in the vehicles to move out. You brace yourself to ask for his number – for his contact, anything, everything, maybe the favorite tree in the park under which you could meet again. You know that those guys aren’t supposed to reveal their identities, that he is probably out of town anyway, special forces aren’t usually called off to false threats, you know that your attempts are futile and yet, you lick your lips for added confidence and…
— Goodbye, Scahtzen. Stay safe, ja? Don’t want to save you from a real bomb one day. 
— I…I…um, you mean you wouldn’t save me from a real bomb? 
He was already halfway to the armored car before you could say anything. You aren’t nearly confident enough to yell across the whole fucking campus territory to get a number of this hot special forces guy, and something in his hunched shoulders, twitching fingers, and slightly less social and more abrasive manners tells you that he would hate the gesture as much as you would. 
Just like this, your first even real-life military crush is driving away, leaving you bombless, hoeless, and, most certainly, more depressed than ever. Summer is going to be great, right?
*** — What do you mean calling a fucking bomb threat?! 
Your friend wasn’t happy about the pick-up strategy you wanted to use.
*** — Of course, sir, let’s raid a fucking college dorm room. 
Sergeant Sebastian Josed Krueger wasn’t happy about his commander’s newfound love for college girls. 
Mostly because König refused to fucking share. 
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Note
Hiii! This is one of my first request like ever so idk if I'm doing it right lol but I was wondering if u could write percy x hades!gf hcs, I never see much of hades sadly lol but if u can't or don't want to I perfectly understand and hope you have a lovely day<333
⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of hades! reader hcs
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content: percy jackson x daughter of hades! reader hcs warning: talk of death??, minor angst at the end kinda sorta not really, author's note: i liked this one. i feel like this was a nice balance between silly goofy and seriously good takes. ALSO i would like to apologize in advance for those last few lines, i was feeling emo and sad and that's what came out of that. really rounds the whole thing out tho. also, honored to be your first request and i hope it's everything you want a more!!
i'm sorry but bro pulled both the children of hades??? hello??
he said imma 'make that family tree fall in love with me'
i just know every time percy does something hot, you and nico just share a glance that said 'this WILL be discussed before bed tn trust'
also, you and nico??? the best siblings
literally so cute together, so much love, so much trauma-
wait, what was that last one-
don't think about it too much
just like nico, you're a daddy's girl at heart and visit home (of the dead) as much as possible
and since hades is such a big gossip (you know its the truth) you just know he's prying you for information about your relationship
"but like...he treats you well, right?"
"yes, dad, obviously. if he didn't, he'd be dead."
"that's my girl."
and and even tho the hades cabin looks kinda sketchy and totally creepy, ideal nap and cuddle place.
like, cabin three is cool and all but the cabin thirteen is legit so perfect for naps bc built in blackout curtains and it's always cold so you can just cuddle up under your blankets with your snuggly son of the sea god and youre out like a light
until nico comes in banging cymbals that he got from gods know where, chanting 'GET OUT OF MY CABIN! GET OUT OF MY CABIN!"
"ITS OUR CABIN NICO!"
"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOOOOOOOU!" he yelled back, emphasizing his words with more cymbal crashes and pointed looks at percy, who was seizing with laughter
no one at camp really knows when you and percy became you and percy
just one day he was attached to you at the hip and no one asked questions
and when new campers ask the two when they got together, you both just share a glance and shrug.
anniversaries are celebrated randomly through the year, simply because you cannot remember dates to save your lives.
like, you'll just walk to breakfast and percy will present you with flowers and gifts and everyone cheers but as you give percy a kiss on his cheek you're like
"which one is this for?"
"i'm going with first date but tbh i have no idea."
"yeah, no, that sounds right, lets go with that."
just two idiots in love
two deadly idiots in love
but really, they only become a problem when you hurt the other
like you try stay out of fights as much as possible but the second percy has so much as a scratch, you're raising hell
literally
legions of hell will be raised to protect your man
he being helped off the ground by abe lincoln and princess diana fr
(not that im saying they in hell, they were just the only two famous dead people i could think of)
(don't shame me, i can feel it through the screen)
(SHUT UP-)
anyways
yeah, mr salt water and ms bones are in love and happy the world is spinning and they totally have no trauma at all
(percy doesn't want her anywhere near him sometimes, feeling like he can only bear bad news for children of hades)
(you get worried that percy might be too good for you, that you're tainted with the blood of the dead and there's no coming back from that. the blood of death is your blood is the blood of death. they are one in the same. you are death as death is you.)
very happy here, nothing to be concerned about 😀😀����
dont worry, you guys talk through these issues and find healthy ways to deal with all the childhood trauma.
a couple that grows together, stays together.
686 notes · View notes
caesium-55 · 1 month
Text
—seven days. [ iv ]
pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.
summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.
warning/s: sexual content but it's nothing too explicit. also angst angst angst.
author's note: NOT BETA READ. NOT EDITED. also, lemme know what u guys think!! would love to read it honestly. it was what had been keeping me inspired.
tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab @vildetry06 @a-beaverhausen @formula1mount @loloekie @alucardsdaddyissues @leclercdream
masterlist.
You have three philosophies in life.
Pussies do not get the good stuff. If you want the good stuff, don't be a pussy.
Hard work will pay off one day. In the meantime, work hard but don't work too hard. You work smart and make it seem like you're working hard so by the time your “hard” work pays off, you’re not too tired from working and still have energy to enjoy your reward, you know? Does that make sense?
Whatever Max Verstappen wanted, Max Verstappen would get.
Now let us focus on philosophy number three. It's a shitty philosophy to have, but when you're working as the manager of Red Bull’s golden boy—after Sebastian Vettel, of course—that philosophy sort of becomes the job description. It's your job to give whatever Max Verstappen wanted, whatever he needed.
When he asks you that question, sounding so innocent as if he hasn't just yanked your entire world off its axis by saying those words, your first reaction is to pull up the middle finger. Fuck you, Max. Max is an asshole for asking you that. Max is an absolute asshole for asking you for a kiss. For the five years you've worked for him, he should already be aware of the power he holds over your head. Should be aware that you'll give anything he'll ask. That's why he should be careful with what he's asking from you.
Said asshole has the audacity to pout. He resembled the pet duck who lived in your Abuelo's farm that you were very fond of in your childhood. Her name was Maria and she was a menace. Your Abuelo even tied a pink bow to the duck’s neck so it could be easily recognizable. A 181-cm tall, broad-shouldered, blond-brown-haired Dutch duck with a blue-eyed gaze that will never fail to make your bones tremble and your heart stutter once you let yourself stare at it. You can put a bow around his neck, too, like what your Abuelo did to that duck. Then, use the bow to choke him in a way that is definitely not sexy or kinky but in a way that screams murder, murder, murder.
“That's not nice.”
“‘M not a nice person.”
“You're a nice person, you just don't do nice things.”
You give him a weird look.
“If you weren't a nice person, you would not be here with me right now,” he continues, in a manner that made him seem like a hundred-old sage imparting wisdom. “But you're here and you're not leaving and you're not hurting me so you're nice.”
His words cause something rotten to bloom in your ribs, “How are you so certain that ‘m not gonna end up hurtin’ you? For all you know, I'm gonna use this billiard stick to make you a human skewer right now.”
He laughs. God. The sound is absolutely beautiful that it terrifies you.
“You're you, [Name]. You would never hurt me.”
In a sense, he's right. You will never hurt him. Not intentionally, at least. If you wanted him to hurt, you'll be leaving right now and flying to Texas the same way Kelly did in Abu Dhabi. Because, for someone like Max, nothing in this world is more painful than to be left alone when all you yearned for is someone to be there for you.
“So……will you?” he asks again. “Will you kiss me?”
He's drunk, your brain reasons. Your fingers gently reach for his jaw—very angular, you belatedly realize—and Max chases the warmth of your skin. He does not know what he's asking, your brain reasons again. You tug him towards you and your mouth meets his, immediately registering the taste of the beer on his tongue. He’s stupid, your brain added. I’m stupid, too, you argue mentally and pushes him against the side of the billiard table and toss your stick to the floor and let yourself take everything from Max Verstappen. Fuck you Max, you think with finality. Your brain replies: You’re also fucked.
He took what he wanted from you. Every day. Every single day. He will ask and you will give. Now, it is your turn to take. One last time before the inevitable goodbye that you know will break both of your hearts.
Anger. Frustration. That's what you feel right now. Anger because this is going to make things more complicated for you and goddammit, why are you making things hard for yourself? Frustrated because you’re not supposed to do this but you cannot fucking stop. Thank fuck you resigned before pulling this shit because this is soooooo unprofessional.
You read somewhere that said something like all people are driven to the point of eating their gods after a time. And is this situation not a perfect demonstration of this? Max is your god. Max was your god. And you are going to devour him—fueled by five years of frustration and anger and a series of why, why, why didn't you talk to Horner? Now it's too late because I'm leaving all because you didn't talk to fucking Horner.
You've forgiven 2021. 2022 made your grudge grow. And you're not stupid to continue staying after his 2023 victory when it's clearly not happening—the dream that will be given to you with Max's power. You will never forgive yourself if you stayed here and be continuously reminded of what you could become, what you failed to become.
Max is surprisingly pliant under your hands. A rare occasion. One would expect Max Verstappen to take the lead because that's what he did in the race tracks. A 20-second lead from everyone else. He's also the type to just do whatever he wanted, you know? And people would let him. Because he's Max Verstappen.
Dominance. Total dominance.
“Wait,” he squeezes your arms and you do not hear him clearly the first time because you're so concentrated on his lips and how it feels and tastes against yours. “Wait, wait. Slow down.”
You pull away and you hear him take a gasp of air, “Somethin’ wrong?”
He looks so beautiful like this. Beneath you. Lips swollen. Blue eyes wide with desire. Hair perfectly messy. Grip on your arm so tight that you're sure will definitely leave a hand-shaped bruise tomorrow.
“Can’t breathe,” he says with a light laugh and you resist the urge to violently bash your head against the billiard table because what the fuck? That's not good for your heart. It's too… too… adorable. Max is not supposed to be an adorable person.
You suck in a breath and lower your head until your forehead meets Max’s firm chest.
“Fuck you,” you mumble.
“Hm?”
“Nothing.”
You raise your head and meet Max’s eyes, the culprit behind your insanity right now.
(Your Abuela said that blue eyes were just blue eyes. Until you fall in love with someone with blue eyes and blue becomes a color that consumed your world whole. You appreciated the sky more because it reminded you of his eyes. You appreciated the color of the seas more because it reminded you of his eyes. Blue became the color of love.)
Now what? Do you continue or…?
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Do you even need to ask?” you deadpan. Max’s hands circle around your waist and he gently guides you away from him. He dusts his shirt once he has fully risen from the billiard table before his hand finds yours. Fingers intertwining together, he leads you out of the entertainment room.
Your heart drums with anticipation. Numerous questions circle around your head but it all disappears in a flash when Max brings you to the room where you found him that morning. You wince when you walk past the broken door.
Yeah…
Making a payment plan will be hell. You're unemployed at the current moment, too. The first thing you have to do when you land in Texas is find a job.
He makes you sit on his bed, the soft mattress dipping down on your weight. You can only stare at him, brows furrowing in confusion and a question sitting on the tip of your tongue that you are yet to voice out. Max makes a beeline to his closet, throwing it open and procuring a box.
A box.
He walks back to you, dropping on his knees and that action makes you panic. Then, Max opens the box, pulling out the most gorgeous pair of five-inch block heels you have ever laid eyes upon and gently slips them onto your feet. The straps have pearls and satin bows and it has tiny white diamonds, elegantly cut, as the centerpiece. Not even the YSL Opyum heels you own can compare to its elegance and beauty.
You almost kick him in the face because you do not expect that he’ll do that.
I bought shoes and they don't fit her. Max has told you. You feel bile rise up your throat.
The shoes. They fit you. Perfectly. As if it was made to be yours. As if it was bought to be yours. As if he was thinking of you, who is nothing but his manager and somewhat friend, when he bought the gorgeous heels instead of Kelly Piquet, his fucking girlfriend of three years whom he had been living with in this fucking penthouse, and parenting little P with.
“They're perfect,” Max whispers and he looks up with that smile playing on his lips. You feel tears sting your eyes and you press your lips into a thin line before moving your gaze away, blinking rapidly.
Max is doing this because he thought you were Kelly.
“They're custom, you know? They're the only pair in the world.”
His words make the taste of bile a hundred times worse. You stare at the shoes on your feet as if it's a sin to have the shoes fit you. No wonder Kelly is mad at Max. If Leo has commissioned custom heels with another woman in mind and got your shoe size wrong after three years of being together, you'll feel hurt, too.
You feel the need to apologize to Kelly. Maybe a quick message to her IG? You also follow each other’s private account.
“You’re thinking,” he says and his voice snaps you out of the rabbit hole known as your thoughts. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothin’,” you lie. The feeling of wanting to puke intensifies so you grab Max by his collar and plant your lips against his to push back the imaginary bile stuck on your throat and from there, the situation escalates to the point that clothes are removed. One by one. When you reach to unstrap the heels, Max grabbed your wrists, almost panicked.
“What are you doin’?” you ask.
“Don't take them off please.”
Whatever Max wanted, Max would get.
Your name built a home in Max’s mouth, the syllables rolling off his tongue with ease at every pleasure he felt, while your fingers explore every inch of Max’s skin. You're only allowed to watch back then. Now, you're allowed to touch.
Hearing his whimpers and little groans and shudders—all done by your hands—you feel nothing but satisfaction. He chants your name like it's a prayer and you're his god and if that is not love then you do not what is.
You wait for Max to utter Kelly’s name midway.
He never did.
“What are you doing?” his voice is groggy with sleep. After doing it, he immediately passes out. Weak ass bitch. You're still waiting for the horror once the realization of what you’ve done sinks into your system. The annoying headache, too. For now, none of them have arrived yet. Probably because you still have enough alcohol in your system to numb things out for you. While waiting, you're on your phone.
Ha, it's past 12 midnight now. You have three days to tell Max before you fly to Texas.
“Talkin' to someone,” you reply cryptically. His brows knit together.
“Who?”
“Just Logan.”
“The American in Williams?”
You roll your eyes, “Yes, the American in Williams.”
You notice how his arms on your waist tighten, pulling you a little closer to him, but you say nothing. This action causes flowers to bloom in your lungs and you hope he hasn't noticed how your breath hitched.
“Why?”
“He’s my friend. Friends talk,” you deadpan.
Logan Sargeant is an absolute sweetheart. He reminds you a lot of your little brother and you both share the same sentiments regarding the feeling of being unwelcomed in Formula One. You suppose he has it worse though. Nobody in the grid really makes an effort to befriend the young racer and you're fifty percent sure that the fact he's American made a contribution to that.
None of the other racers even follow him on Insta.
“Well, what are you two talking about?” Grumpy and bratty Max is back. Welcome back, asshole.
“He’s in Texas right now and he was askin’ if I was back home, too. Said we should grab a drink together. I promised to show him around Austin.”
“You never invited me to Austin.”
“Why would you even go to Austin?” your nose scrunch a little. “You visit your mother for Christmas.”
He rolls his eyes.
“You're befriending too much racers.”
“Excuse me? I only have Logan as a friend. Charles, too, by extension because he's your friend,” you point out. “Checo and Daniel and Yuki and Liam because they work with you.”
“And me.”
“You're not my friend.”
“What am I then? Your dog?”
“I work for you.”
“You work with me, not for me,” he corrects.
You do not know why your heart skipped a beat at that.
“I’m just trynna be a good friend here and you're bein’ unreasonably grumpy,” you try to shift the subject to save your own sanity. “None of you even tried to befriend Logan.”
Max abruptly reaches for his phone on the bedside table and unlocks it. You watch as he opens his Instagram, the public one, and added Logan's account. You gape. He switches to his private account and searches for Logan’s account in your profile's list of followers and adds him, too.
“What the fuck, Max?”
“I’m befriending him,” he says simply. “I’ll invite him over if he ever comes by in Monaco during the off-season.”
You blink.
“Now say goodbye to him and go back to sleep.”
He tosses his phone to the bedside table and turn his back on you in a manner that reminded you of a very petulant child.
You glance at your phone only to see Logan’s freaked out messages.
logan: HE FOLLOWED ME??!? ON BOTH ACCOUNTS???
logan: AM I SEEING THINGS? HAVE I ACCIDENTALLY SNORTED DRUGS??!
logan: maybe it's the texas heat??
logan: *sent a screenshot*
logan: MAX VERSTAPPEN INVITED ME TO HIS PENTHOUSE??
you: congrats child
logan: is this your doing??!?
logan: are you with him now?
logan: wait that's impossible, itd be 2 am in monaco now there's no way youd be together rn
If only he knows.
you: how bout we talk later once the sun rises here in monaco?
you: or maybe once i arrive in the us?
logan: sure sure
you: stay safe out there kid
logan: HE JUST FOLLOWED ME I CAN DIE HAPPY
You toss your phone aside and inch closer to Max, looping your arms around him and falling asleep in his warmth.
Your phone rings and it's not the Max Max Max Super Max Max ringtone. It's the default one.
Mama, the caller ID indicates. 4:31 AM is written on the upper right corner of your phone screen. You press the answer button.
“Your Papa…… It was a dangerous call. He needs to see you before he… He might not make it.”
That alone is enough for you to jump out of bed. You scramble to grab last night’s clothes and slip them on. Fuck, they still smell like alcohol.
“Hey, hey, what's wrong?” Max, who's rudely awakened when you abruptly jumped out of bed, looks so lost and when he sees you run your way out of his bedroom and to the stairs, he panics. The poor man panicked. He falls down the bed and runs after you, having the decency to only grab a towel to cover his lower half. He stops you, grabbing your wrist just as you're at the lowest step of the stairs.
“Wait, where are you going?” his voice is still rough with sleep and he's aggressively rubbing out his grogginess from his eyes. You stop, letting out a breath that you don't realize you're holding before turning around to face him. Then, the guilt rushes in. Max looks so…you don't have the words to describe it. His hair is a mess and he still looks sleepy but he also looks wide awake and kind of panicking and confused.
This is a face that's equally endearing and heartbreaking. You can't believe this will be the last time you'll be seeing him. You're still supposed to have three days left but now it's cut short and you—
You'll miss him.
“Sorry, baby,” you come up a few steps and cup his cheeks, bringing his face down so you can kiss his forehead. His hand comes up to lay on top of yours, eyes fluttering close.
“Where are you going?” he asks again.
“Texas,” you reply. “Dad… he… 'Twas a bad call and I need to see him. I need—I need to go home now.”
This is the reality of being family with a firefighter. You're always in danger of losing your father in one of the calls. And that is happening now.
Max understands because he knows your father's line of work.
“Do you need me to come with you?”
You shake your head.
“Then, I’ll drive you.”
“No,” you shoot him down quickly. “You drank last night. It’s dangerous.”
“I’m not drunk now.”
“Max,” you breathe through your nose to calm yourself down. “I’ll take the next flight available to the US. You stay here.”
“Take my jet.”
“No, Max,” you say. “Thank you for the offer but you’ll use the jet when you visit your mother.”
“I can fly commercial,” he squeezes your hands. “You don't want me to drive you. You don't want me to come with you. At least take the jet.”
You open your mouth to protest.
“Just take the jet, please, [Name].”
Whatever Max wanted, Max would get. So you nod your head slowly because it looks like he'll argue just to get you seated in his jet. And you'll argue with him if it was any other day but not today because you need to leave quickly. Time is becoming too precious. You can lose your Dad any second. You just wish you can see him and talk to him before he went.
“Okay.”
You pull away, whipping around to head to the door but Max doesn't let your wrist go. You turn back to him.
“What is it, Max?”
“Text me when you land in Texas?”
“Of course.”
“One last thing. Wait here.”
He runs back to his room and you tap your foot impatiently, eyes trained on the mismatched shoes that covered your feet. Max returns not even five minutes later and now, he's wearing clothes and he’s carrying the shoe box from last night.
You swallow the lump on your throat.
“Take this with you.”
With shaking hands, you take the box.
“See you around, [Name].”
“Goodbye, Max.”
It's a good thing that you spent the entire morning yesterday packing because this makes everything smoother for you. It is a little past 5 am now and the outside world is still enveloped in total darkness. You gaze at the apartment one last time, three suitcases in tow. The keys feel heavy in your hands as you lock the door behind you.
In the middle of your apartment living room sits a lone shoe box with a letter that says: Sorry, Max. I can't steal more from Kelly.
Beside the box is a folder.
An unfinished guide on becoming Max Verstappen’s manager. (I’ll have the final copy printed, binded, and sent before the 2024 pre-season. Haha, I’m channeling my inner Toto Wolff.)
The first paper you’ll see after you open the folder reads:
Max, I know you’d be the one who’d find this one day. By that time, I’ll be in Texas already. I don't know if I’d have told you that I resigned already. If I didn't, that's because I’m a pussy. Sorry.
Anyways, I will say this as straightforwardly as I can because I think I had been a pussy long enough.
I resigned, Max. I won't be your manager by 2024 and honestly, I am worried. Not for you, of course. You’d win WDC whether I am your manager or not. That's how good you are. I am worried for your future manager. I’m afraid it would take someone with guts like me to work for with someone like you. A powerhouse manager for a powerhouse athlete.
Inside, you can find the following things:
How to bake my abuela’s special cheesecake.
How to make Red Bull vodka
How to make Max’s favorite pasta for lunch
List of Max Verstappen’s favorite places in each city
How to iron Max Verstappen’s clothes
What to do when Max accidentally sets the kitchen on fire
What to do when Max has a bad race
How to protect Max Verstappen from angry Hamilton fans
How to deal with a drunk Max Verstappen
Etc…
I will still be watching your journey, not from the Red Bull garage but from another continent. We worked five amazing years together and now it is time for us to fly on different skies. As much as I liked working with you, you can't be the only one reaching your dreams. Don’t worry, I’ll always reach out.
Thank you, Max. For giving me a home. I’m not talking about the apartment. I don't believe that home are establishments. Home is the people you love and Max, you are someone I love.
In the last page of this folder, you’d see a handmade bracelet tucked inside. It's small and it's made of cheap beads and I do not care if you don't think it's worthy enough to be worn on your wrist. Not even going to be offended. It's dirt compared to the Cartier bracelets you wear everyday. I bought the beads while roaming in Brazil and I just thought I’d make you one.
I cannot give you any gift that you already cannot buy with your money so I went ahead and made this. Money cannot buy anything made by my own hands.
Thank you again, Max.
And I’m so fucking sorry.
Please don't be angry.
I love you.
You watch the sun rise inside Max's jet as you fly over Monaco to Texas.
645 notes · View notes
sirenologyyy · 19 days
Text
EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE !
୨ৎ summary : wherein singer!reader books her next role in the ballad of songbirds and snakes after starring in the third highest-grossing movie of all time called avatar: the way of water, and falls for the bad guy... of course
୨ৎ warnings : cussing, that's pretty much it HEHEEHEH
୨ৎ author's note : YA'LL I've never seen laufey as a faceclaim in these before she's gorgeous. Also, your character in atwow is named Magnolia Quaritch, you're in Daisy Jones and The Six as a Jazz singer named Vienna Cartwright and a character in House of The Dragon named Theadosia Baratheon.
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yourusername
tagged: @/jamieflatters @/baileybass @/jackchampion
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liked by rachelzegler, sukiwaterhouse, hunterschafer, baileybass, jackchampion, livkatecooke and 176,987 others
yourusername the sexy skxawngs are SO back 🤩🙏🔥
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jackchampion DUDEEE YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GUNNA POST THAT PIC OF ME
⤷ yourusername obviously I lied
user1 NAWW YA'LL ARE SO CUTE
user2 OMGGG your boots are giving
user3 average brother and sister dynamic
user4 HELLO DON'T TELL ME Y/N AND JACK PLAY SIBLINGS IN AVATAR????
⤷ user3 HELP yeah they do they're quaritch's kids and they're stepsiblings, y/n's character is named magnolia she was born on pandora like three or four years before spider was
⤷ user4 they barely look alike HELP
⤷ jackchampion no because we keep saying that too
⤷ yourusername @/slang_711 your response 🎤🎤🎤
user4 naw HAHAAHAHA
rachelzegler YA'LL ARE SO CUTEEE
⤷ yourusername MWAH
jamieflatters what is that picture of me
⤷ yourusername my finger slipped
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⤷ yourusername mb I'm sorry
⤷ jamieflatters you know you aren't
baileybass no because that day in london was so fun omggg
yourusername especially when it started raining and we all were just running around like headless chickens and we took cover inside that empty ambulance
⤷ jackchampion and then I totally didn't fall getting out
⤷ baileybass lies
⤷ yourusername falsehoods
⤷ jamieflatters these people deserve the truth jackson
user5 UGH y/n's so pretty I wish she was real :/
user1 frl I wish pretty people were real
user6 jack eating dino nuggies and mac and cheese with a coke sends me
⤷yourusername I have a folder on my phone with 18 seperate photos of jack eating the same meal over the course of filming atwow
⤷ jackchampion WHAT???
⤷ yourusername my lil bro 😔
⤷ user6 PUAHAAHAGAHSHS
⤷ jackchampion girl bye I'm literally 6 feet tall
⤷ yourusername nobody asked jack
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ayoedibiri I miss you 😔
⤷ yourusername I miss YOU
user7 MAGNOLIA QUARITCH 🔛🔝
user8 if magnolia quaritch has a million fans I'm one of them, if she has a hundred fans I'm one of them, if she had 0 fans I'm DEAD
hunterschafer looking tew good babes x
⤷ yourusername ure too kind 🫡 🫶
user9 HELPPP BECAUSE JAMIE'S FACE IN THE BEGGINING
⤷ yourusername he tried gochujang for the first time
⤷ jackchampion top 10 worst anime fails
user7 I think you cropped me outta some of these babes 💋
user8 imagine breathing the same air as y/n y/l/n is rn like I cannot imagine 😔
user10 y/n what's ur favorite hot wheels car
user11 come home the kids miss you 😔
user12 can magnolia come and dissect me like that bladder polyp 30 minutes into the movie
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tagged: @/lionsgate
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liked by rachelzegler, hunterschafer, jackchampion, tomblyth, joshandresrivera, oliviarodrigo and 500, 975 others
yourusername show our girl mira sage baird some love, the ballad of songbirds and snakes out now November 17th!
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user1 STOP STOP STOP
user2 THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY SHE'S PLAYING MIRA SAGE
rachelzegler welcome to the rodeo big sis 🎹🎶✨️
⤷ yourusername let's fcking do this thing
user3 im literally screaming crying and throwing up right now OMFG RACHEL JUST CALLED Y/N BIG SIS
user4 STOP BCS I just finished reading tbosas yesterday
user5 OH MY FUCKING GOD MIRA PLAYING THE PIANOOOO
user6 these stills are everything to me
jackchampion SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU 🙌
⤷ yourusername #1 WINGMAN FRL 💯
user7 her first freaking role was literally playing stephen lang's daughter in a james cameron film, then immediately booking the role of serafyna freaking baratheon in house of the dragon, then playing a jazz singer in daisy jones and the six, NOW SHE'S IN THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES???
user8 no one's doing it like her frl
user1 "OUR GIRL MIRA SAGE BAIRD" WHAT IF I START SOBBING
user5 like hello I'm never getting over this tf 😭💔💔💔
user3 Y/N Y/L/N THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE
tomblyth hey nightingale
⤷ yourusername wsp gent
user9 OH MY FUCKING GOD NO ONE TALK TO ME RIGHT NOWWWWWWW
⤷ user3 DID THEY JUST CALL EACHOTHER BY THEIR NICKNAMES OH LORD
user5 they saw an opportunity and took it
ashleyjliao oh ya'll are not READYYYY
user11 TOM BLYTH AND Y/N Y/L/N NATION RISE
user8 IM LITERALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW HOLY SHITTTTTTTT??@@?@?!!?!,#*#(
⤷ user1 someone time this exact moment these two made frickin history tonight
⤷ user6 I'm so glad I stayed up for this holy shit
⤷ user8 it's literally 5:39 am for me rn I literally have to defend a thesis in 3 hours and I am wide awake bouncing around my dorm
⤷ yourusername oh babes get some sleep 😭 (good luck on your thesis btw you're gunna kill it! 💓)
⤷ user8 IM GOING TO BED RN MISS MA'AM 🫡
⤷ user10 replying to user8 NAW GIRL I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE REPLIED TO YOU
⤷ user8 replying to user10 IT CAN ONLY GO DOWNHILL FROM HERE DUDE
user7 I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT OMFGDYDHDU
baileybass can't wait 🤍
⤷ yourusername I love you so much bai bai 🫶🏼
user12 oh my FUCK is that the scene where sejanus and mira have that conversation outside the hob???
⤷ user9 OH THERE'S NO WAY
⤷ user13 STOP WE'RE FINALLY GETTING THE "you're everything I could ever have wanted" SCENE
⤷user9 AAAAAAAAA I CAN'T WAIT OH MY GOD?!?!?
⤷ user6 UGHDGDFC MY SEJMIRA HEARTTTTTTT 😭💗
⤷ user3 I apologise for the person I will become once I see Sejanus and Mira at my local theatre
⤷ hunterschafer me neither
⤷ user3 HUNTER'S A SEJMIRA SHIPPER CONFIRMED?????
⤷ user6 hunter I love you
⤷user3 HUNTER SHIPS SEJMIRA YA'LL HEARD IT HERE FIRST 🗣🗣🗣
⤷user12 NO BECAUSE IF WE'RE GETTING THE HOB SCENE THEN THE CLIFF SCENE IS 3 DAYS AFTER...
⤷user13 oh...
⤷ user1 I DON'T THINK I WILL SURVIVE THIS
⤷ user2 yeah and neither does-
⤷ user8 NAWWW STFU @/user2
⤷user12 don't even go there @/user2
⤷user10 GET THE HELL OUT @/user2
⤷ user10 DONT EVEN CONTINUE THAT SENTENCE @/user2
joshandresrivera prepare to have your knocks socked off
⤷yourusername oh they dunno what's COMING
⤷ rachelzegler stop because tell me why I was sobbing even more than you were while you were performing mira sage's song 😭
⤷ yourusername we were inconsolable that day 😭😭😭 i think even Tom was tearing up too
⤷ tomblyth no you're wrong there was a busted pipe above my spot it kept leaking into my eye
⤷yourusername sure honey.
user14 NAWWWW ☝️☝️☝️
user15 someone check up on tom if he's still breathing cuz if y/n fucking y/l/n ever called me honey I'd be GONEEEEEEE
user16 @/tomblyth are u alright pal
⤷ joshandresrivera his eyes were literally irritated when I looked at him during our first initial take
⤷tomblyth nice going josh
⤷ yourusername rachel never let him go
⤷ rachelzegler duly noted
user17 y/n y/l/n as mira sage baird oh someone up there is looking out for me frl
rachelzegler
tagged: @/yourusername
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rachelzegler new york, new york - Frank Ocean
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joshandresrivera alright I see how it is
⤷ rachelzegler it's not you, it's me?
yourusername I'm coming after your entire career Joshua
tomblyth I asked if you wanted to go hang out in new york with me and you told me you were busy?
⤷ yourusername but I was 😁
⤷ rachelzegler get in line blyth
⤷ tomblyth I'm devastated, truly
⤷ yourusername it's not my fault I'm incredibly sought after, I'm sorry Tom
⤷ hunterschafer go tell 'em honey!!!
⤷ yourusername better luck next time @/tomblyth
⤷ tomblyth there's still a next time?
⤷yourusername For you? Always
⤷tomblyth I'm the luckiest man alive, I feel like I'm going to soar out of my flat any minute now, maybe do somersaults in the sky I'm not sure, we'll see.
yourusername liked this comment
user1 not Tom Blyth being down bad
user2 HELLO??? TOM???
user3 why do they sound so flirty wtf...
user4 dosen't Tom have a gf HELPPPP
user5 I don't think it's confirmed
⤷ user4 it better not be cuz why am I kinda eating this up
user6 NO BCS SAME ADFSDGSJSSHZ
lionsgate our favorite sister duo 💕
⤷ yourusername iktr 🙏
⤷ rachelzegler this is a WIN
user7 OH WE NEED THOSE DIGICAM PICS RNNNN
user8 @/yourusername LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN ‼️‼️‼️
user9 Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK
user10 THERE'S NO WAY I WAS 5 MINS AWAY FROM THAT RESTAURANT AND DIDN'T GO THERE 😭😭😭
user11 y/n l/n and rachel zegler my bestfriends
user12 HELP THE TEXT WITH Y/N AND RACHEL IM CREASING
⤷ user11 IKR THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS
⤷ user10 I wonder if she actually got the Lucy Gray barbie
⤷ yourusername everywhere we went it was sold out 😭
⤷ user12 NAHHH QUEEN YOU DESERVE SM BETTER
user3 @/tomblyth you might wanna get onto that
⤷ user5 @/tomblyth GET THIS GIRL HER LUCY GRAY BARBIE
⤷ user4 @/tomblyth YK WHAT TO DO
user14 HAHAHAAYAH NOT YA'LL TAGGING HIMMM 😭😭😭
user15 I know Y/N was mourning for that spilt coffee
⤷ rachelzegler OH YOU BEST BELIEVE SHE WAS DISTRAUGHT
user16 and they were thrifting too UGH I wanna be able to go thrifting with y/n and rachel
⤷ user14 I wonder who got those cowboy boots
⤷yourusername actually we both saw it at the same time but I ended up giving it to Rachel because I'm a wonderful person! (and we totally didn't fight over it inside goodwill!)
rachelzegler 😭😭😭
tomblyth
tagged: @/joshandresrivera @/rachelzegler @/yourusername see more...
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tomblyth HG film dump. We had our flaky croissants, our chewy croissants, but alas, not one croissant on earth could live up to these beautiful people. teebosass coming to theaters near you. ❄️❄️❄️
rachelzegler FIRST!!!
rachelzegler ugh blyth you sap
⤷ tomblyth what can I say
ashleyjliao 🥐🥐🥐
yourusername that cucumber salad did not taste as good as you manipulated me into believing
⤷ tomblyth hey you could use the vitamin K, you're welcome ❤️
⤷ yourusername this is what playing a pre tyrannical president of a dystopian world does to you kids
user1 yes mom 🫡
user1 AWWW THE GROUP PIC OF ALL THE MENTORS 🥹🥹🥹
⤷ user2 I'm abt to sob
user3 so excited OMGGG
user2 YA'LL THE CABIN SCENE I WILL NEVER RECOVER...
user4 sofia crying makes me wanna cry too wtf
user5 the tributes and mentors aww
⤷ user3 I'm having that picture framed and put on a pedestal
user6 Y/N getting her own picture is so cute 🫶
user7 holy shit ur right
⤷ user2 replying to user6 she literally got a single picture all to herself while the others were with someone else on every photo
⤷ user8 CHAT WHAT IS GOING AWNNN
user8 no because y/n having her own picture meanwhile everyone else had to share the spotlight is making me think thoughts...
user9 oh twitter's about to blow up and second now
user10 @/y/nsidehoe on twt 🔥🔥🔥
user11 you were amazing in Billy the Kid!
user12 RACHEL IS SO POOKIEEEE
user13 these photos are so well shot though
user14 the tributes all hugging eachother ugh MY HEART
user15 josh's posture is cracking me tf up 😭
⤷ user10 BWHAHAGSSJAJSSJS
user16 10 MINUTES AGK HOLY SHITTTT
user17 y/n's face though HELP ME
user18 Y/N NATION HOW TF ARE WE FEELING???
user19 I don't even wanna speculate anything atp remember what happened to her and Charles Leclerc?
user17 oh NAWWW they were definitely a thing, did you SEE those yacht pics?
user10 it was a shame they never confirmed it though they were so cute 😔
user20 YALL dosen't tom have a gf???
⤷ user18 nothing's confirmed, pretty sure he said him and the girl were good friends in an article somewhere LMFAO
⤷ user8 omg link
⤷ user13 (2)
⤷ user18 hold on dms
user21 josh and rachel have my heart fssss 🫶
user22 y/n nation boutta start shipping them I'm frl calling it
user23 it'll be gone in a week or so then she'll hop onto the next male lead in her next film
⤷ user22 HAAHAHA SHUDDUPPP
⤷ user23 for promo ✨️
⤷ user24 she's doing smth to these men I swear, spiking their drinks, keeping voodoo dolls of em or sumn
⤷ user23 WAIT STOP AHAHSHSAH
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ihrtchn · 9 months
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— all you need ;
→ pairing — minlix + m!reader
→ summary — felix and minho have been secretly watching over the supposed boy of each of their dreams. when they each finally get the courage to corner their boy and take what’s theirs, they realize that they’ve been in love with the same man.
→ genre — smut
→ warnings — extreme kinks (like very extreme, please be cautious), stalking, threesomes, cnc, bimbofication / mindbreaking, double penetration, degrading praise, god + master honorifics, oral (reader receiving and giving), domtop!minlix and subbottom!reader
→ word count — 2.45k
→ author’s note — oh boy, this is my first smut and i’m starting right out the gate with some heavy kinks! i saw this req by @nxthnii and just HAD to write it.
→ song (s) currently stuck in my head —
i can transform ya by chris brown feat. swizz beatz + lil wayne
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i’m coming back to you.
so i really hope that you don’t mind.
i know you want me too.
even though you’re not mine,
you got that look in your eyes.
there were two things ruminating in minho’s brain at the moment: how undeniably horny he was and how breathtakingly beautiful you looked in the cheeky polaroid of you he was currently masturbating to. he didn’t even realize how he got here. from his perspective, the picture of you and his cock just landed in his grip, and he wasn’t complaining. it didn’t take him long to finish, his mind cloudy and swirling with the imprinted image of his favorite person in his mind as he lie underneath his silk sheets. he couldn’t sit in his filth for too long before jumping up and heading into the shower. even though the water was piping hot, his bare body was cold; the loneliness and craving for you overwhelming him so badly that he grabbed his phone charging on his bathroom’s mahogany countertop to call the only contact in his phone, his friend felix.
“hello?” felix answered sleepily, despite it being 8 pm.
“i gotta get out the house, man. desperately,” minho responded, not even acknowledging the other’s greeting.
felix immediately understood, ending their conversation short after letting the other know he was on the way. it didn’t take long for him to arrive at minho’s apartment complex, a quick run up two flights of stairs and a doorbell ring away from ending up crosslegged on minho’s black leather couch. the two haven’t spoken in a minute, their individually busy schedules preventing them. yet, conversation came easy. two hours of talking eventually led down the path of relationships, a topic the two men haven’t spoken about before.
“so… how’s dating going? any current prospects up for the love of the illustrious lee minho?” felix joked, his arms rested behind his head while his short fingers toyed with his blond locks.
minho never knew how to respond to that question. how does he admit publicly that he’s been stalking the same boy for three years and is deluded enough to think they’ll one day be together?
“nothing much, you know.. just.. hanging.” was the answer he ended up giving felix, his mind blank before clearing his throat to reciprocate the question.
“i’ve been thinking about this one guy,” felix started, “he goes to my gym and i stare at him while he weight trains.” felix gushed, his eyes glistening as a rose tint began to pepper his cheeks. “it sucks, though. i don’t know his name. but, i know that he works at this coffee shop up the street, and i was planning on going there today to see if i could ask him out!”
felix watched minho’s cat like lips curl up into a smirk. he began understandingly, “i think you should go after him.” felix’s eyes widened, “are you sure, hyung? i know you wanted some company.” minho nodded in response, beginning to stand and collect his belongings to leave his apartment. “i definitely do. i have something…,” he paused to check his watch for the time, “…that i need to do myself. so, go! have your fun.” felix jumped up giddily, rushing to grab his things before rushing out with a ‘bye!’
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as minho laid in the overgrown bushes of the the apartment complex that was now so familiar to him later that night, his eyes darted around frantically. he knew where you worked. he knew where you slept. and, he waited for you every night. he knew what times you left and came, watching protectively to assure you arrived home safe. felix had left his apartment about 30 minutes ago, and right when he left, it was time for minho to arrive at his watchful post. he assumed today’s schedule was no different as he sat and waited, checking his apple watch occasionally as time passed by.
9:30…
10:00…
10:30…
11:00….
this was uncharacteristic of you. usually, you’d be home by 10:15. minho’s watch, phone, and patience we’re slowly draining, and his irritation only worsened when he saw your figure stumbling drunkily towards your front door with… someone else? if he expected anything, it definitely wasn’t that. he’d been observing your every move for years, and you weren’t the type to get blasted after work and rush home in the after hours with a random stranger. his mind was racing, thoughts flooding him as he flowed through his concurrent emotions. after irritation, however, came anger. anger that you would dare promiscuously flaunt yourself around. that you would dare have him worried sick about your well-being. that you dare be with anyone else but him.
it didn’t take long after seeing you enter the building before he followed earnestly behind, his eyes low and passionate as he tried to get a good look of the man you were with, the man he would have to eliminate. soon enough, he was at your front door. with shaky hands, he reached in his pocket for the secret key that he owned to your apartment and unlocked the door, his eyes wide with shock as he walked in and shut the door behind himself.
there you were. on your knees for the stranger with his cock deep down your throat. the overhead fixture gleaming brightly as it exposed your perverted state on your kitchen floor. the stranger’s hand on your chin as he sat at your table, your eyes glistening— drunk, and fucked out, and the thick cock of the man taking what belonged to minho. he didn’t know how to address this situation. should he cough? run up and shove himself down your throat? go grab a knife and attack the stranger? his mind was in complete survival mode; territorially wanting to put a stop to his worst nightmare. his brain fumbled through these few options before just deciding to go up and make the stranger reveal himself.
minho rushed over, shoving the other man aggressively. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he growled, his vision and the figures in front of him growing hazy in the heat of his rage. once his eyes settled, the sound he almost let out was abysmal. the stranger was none other than lee felix. he didn’t know how to react, his throat suddenly dry while he attempted to speak.
“f-felix…?” he croaked, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. felix was equally as stunned. he hadn’t a clue what was going on. after leaving minho’s apartment, he rushed to the cafe where you worked, barely catching you before you left. the two of you chatted for a while before ending up at the bar two blocks from your apartment. it was felix’s idea to head to the bar instead of the much closer restaurant, and if you asked, he wouldn’t tell you it was to get you drunk. but, that’s exactly what it was. after achieving his goal, he walked you home, perversely waiting for you to get drunk and horny enough after letting him in to let him ruin you. luckily for him, that was as soon as humanly possible. you sat still on your knees, your body hot and breath uneven as your drunken mind tried to process the events unfolding in front of you. part of you was terrified. how did this stranger get in? why are they upset that you're fucking felix? and why does it seem the two of them know each other?
but...
another part of you was too horny to function. your mind racing with the previous fantasies you've had of someone breaking into your apartment and fucking you senseless, and you wouldn't let this opportunity pass up. so you finally spoke.
"i can take you both," you said as you began crawling seductively until you sat prettily between the gap in the two men. they stared at each other, unable to speak. felix and minho both finally had the boy they had been pursuing underneath them, and they each wouldn't let an opportunity of their own fall through. they glanced at each other, a competing level of lust filling their looks before they moved their attention back to you.
"on your bed. arms and legs spread out. you're going to experience the fuck of a lifetime, boy," minho snarled sexily, his eyes dark as he began to walk to your bedroom. you quickly stood up, rushing towards the room feverously with felix rushing eagerly behind you. as you laid on the bed, minho began to unbuckle his belt before gesturing for felix to do the same. as minho began to tie your arms up against your bed frame, he watched you wither around. you were reaching the peak of your drunkenness and your neediness was fading, so you whined softly, begging for some kind of stimulation quickly. that earned you a smack across the face from minho, who chuckled at you darkly.
"look at you, baby. desperate for your two strangers to touch you just so you can get your perverted little climax," he spoke before leaning down to whisper in your ear, the hair on your neck standing up at the feeling of his minty breath against your hot skin, "unfortunately for you, that won't be coming so soon." instantaneously, he latched to your lips, kissing you deeply like he would never kiss anyone else ever again. the kiss was surprisingly passionate and sensitive despite the circumstances, and something about that fact lit the fire in your stomach all over again, your cock beginning to twitch just from being craved so deeply. felix just sat and watched intensely, his hand lightly palming himself before he cleared his throat to announce his presence. "pay some attention to me too, angel. i would really appreciate your help again," he started as he began to make his way to the head of the bed. he looked at minho for conformation before patting your cheek lightly as a signal for you to open wide. you opened your mouth wide with your tongue flat and eyes wide with excitement, and felix couldn't contain himself, shoving his length deep down your throat again with a guttural groan.
minho was growing increasingly jealous just watching the scene, and it only egged him on to be more aggressive. he moved his kisses down from your lips to your collarbones, sucking and biting on them so hard, you thought you were bleeding. every whimper you let out only grew his confidence, and eventually, he was all the way to your nipples, giving them the same treatment as the rest of his marks. just watching your dick get progressively harder from being faced-fuck and teased so slowly was making a tent large in minho's pants.
"i didn't know this was the boy you were talking about, felix," said minho as he kissed from your left nipple to the middle of your chest and progressively moved down your stomach. as you watched minho make his way to the spot you wanted touched the most, you shuddered which elicited a tsk from the elder.
"and i didn't know you had your eyes on anyone. i guess it's time to fight for him," felix retorted, his hand raking through your h/c strands as he held your head in place and thrusted.
"may the best man win," shrugged minho before he finally wrapped his plump pink lips around your leaking tip, sucking on it ever so slightly. "but, it seems i've already got him under my control. isn't that right, baby? tell felix how much you love when your god touches you."
"fu-fuck yes, god! i love it when you touch me," you exclaimed, your brain mushy from the stimulation. obviously, that made felix angrily thrust faster into your throat, abusing it mercilessly before growling out in his huskily deep accented voice, "well, tell your god that you only need your master, and that you only want his cock." at this point, drool was falling out of your mouth and your throat was so full you could barely speak, so all you managed to muster out was a pitiful "m-master..." before you gagged so hard felix's cock fell out of your mouth. with this time to collect yourself and gather your thoughts, you looked up to both of your domineering partners, your eyes low from being fucked silly.
"i want you both inside of me. i want you both to coat my inside with your gross fucking cum, and i want to be both of yours. please my god. please, my master. i want to feel so good," you begged as you desperately tugged on minho's pant leg.
"fucking whore. such a pretty little fuckdoll for us, right, felix," minho questioned as he watched you pull on his pants, "should we give our boy what he needs?" felix sat and pretended to ponder, hesitating only so he could hear your sounds. "i think so, hyung. why don't you take him first," felix said with a devilish smile, slapping his cock against your cheeks with a groan at the precum beading on your face before moving back around to the head of the bed and beginning to strip. minho followed suit, taking his clothes off slowly as he gave you a show. the two of them then positioned themselves on the bed in front of your wet hole with minho underneath you before he forced himself in hastily. he began thrusting at an inhuman speed, stretching you out like he was hate fucking you.
"god... you're so fucking tight, baby," minho grunted as he gripped your waist and took what belonged to him for the first time.
before long, he instructed felix, who was impatiently waiting on the side stroking himself, that he could finally fit in as well. felix immediately took the opportunity and moved in front of you and began to struggle to insert himself inside of you. after a slight readjustment, he slid himself balls deep inside of you. the two men sat still as patiently as they could to let you grow accustomed to the fullness in your stomach. they could both tell you were close and wanted to use you as much as possible until you withered for them. unexpectedly, they both began to thrust at a similarly aggressive rhythm, the feeling of both cocks fucking your insides driving you so insane, you could barely form coherent thoughts.
"nghh.. feels so so so good," you moaned shakily, your mind completely broken.
"good boy. such a good fucking boy," felix grunted as he collapsed onto his arms over you and minho's bodies, fucking into you feverishly. once you felt them both hit that specific spot in your prostate, you wailed, cumming all over both you and felix's stomach. the sight was enchanting, and made both men exclaim. "fuck, i'm gonna fucking cum!" minho moaned as you began to rock your hips into him to stimulate the men even more. "me... me too...," felix whined as they both simultaneously filled your hole to the brim with their cum.
as you all came down from your heightened states, you laid in each other's arms, catching your breath as you studied the features of the beautiful men intertwined with you. and all you could hope was that this would be happening again soon.
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ladyluscinia · 6 months
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What Exactly Did David Jenkins Say?
Look, I'm still staunchly of the opinion that Word of God statements and creator interviews are overvalued in fandom, especially when they get pulled out mostly as gotchas without then continuing to analyze whether or not the show canon is successful at getting across that same message. Death of the Author is good, actually, and we should remember that. But they are worth looking at in the context of evaluating intent vs execution, and for future speculation - just, like, please with less of the whole mile high pedestal idolizing and backlash cycles.
But if overvalued "Word of God" is annoying, then overvalued "supposed creator statements that have gone through three rounds of telephone and any given blogger has only heard about a quarter of them, which they'll use confidently anyway" is worse. So, since I'd already looked up interviews for various reasons...
Here is a fairly comprehensive list of interviews David Jenkins has given and statements he's made during them, presented without commentary (save curating which statements get highlighted). All provided with links. I definitely missed some, so if you have any that you want to add, please do - though if you could trim off any commentary and save it for tags / your own post with a link that would be cool.
Also, again, just because he said it doesn't make it incontrovertible canon that only a blind person wouldn't understand. Some of these even arguably contradict each other. The creator's intent doesn't always translate to what the show is doing, nor do you even have to think it was a good idea.
(Listed in chronological order from oldest to newest - post contains spoilers below the cut)
Pre-S1
Gizmodo - Feb 22, 2022 - with Cheryl Eddy (io9) - Link
Why this story - Really, it was the enigma of Stede that drew him in. "I think actual pirate stuff is fine, but it's not necessarily my cup of tea. And I think Taika [Waititi] felt similarly. But hearing about this guy and reading about him and seeing that, you know, he left his family, then he met Blackbeard, they hit it off, and we don't know any of the details in between. So filling those blanks in, and having a very human story, and then being able to do it with the pirate genre, that was like, 'Oh, this would be cool.'"
Post 1x01 - 1x03
Polygon - March 5, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link
David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview
About Stede running off to sea - "Stede thought he could outrun his baggage, and you can't outrun your baggage."
About S1 - "I don't think there was enough improv on set! We had an insane schedule, with a huge amount of plot. We were budgeted and designed as a one-hour show, but with a half-hour production schedule, which means we really had to chase these episodes to get them shot. And then there are certain emotional beats that we really needed. So trying to find places to find the fun was hard."
Mashable - Mar 5, 2022 - with Belen Edwards - Link
About the show concept - "It was Jenkins' wife who first told him about Stede's adventures; she thought it would make a good TV show."
On casting Rhys Darby - "Stede did a terrible thing to his family. If you cast it wrong, he's a very hard character to get behind," Jenkins said. "Very quickly, the only person I thought of for this was Rhys [Darby]. He has this childlike quality that's endearing."
About the story - "Seeing them discover a need for each other that neither anticipated and charting how that relationship goes is the meat of the story." + "If you're on this ship, you're running from something, and you're running to something that you can't be on land"
Mentions of matelotage - "In fact, one of Jenkins's favorite pirate facts that he learned while working on Our Flag Means Death was the term matelotage, which was a civil union between same-sex pirates. "The more you look at it," he explained, "the more you write to the fact that this is a queer-positive world.""
Discussing piracy careers - "Something else that astounded Jenkins about pirates was "just how fast it all moved — their lives were quite short," he said. "Your career [in piracy] wasn't very long.""
Post 1x09 - 1x10
Decider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Kayla Cobb - Link
David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview
Pitch for the show - "That was in the pitch," series creator David Jenkins told Decider. "That was the reason, to make them fall in love with each other."
About the romance - "The main thing to me was to side-step coming out," Jenkins continued. "I just want a romance. I want a Titanic romance between these two people. We don't have to do the coming out story and then the non-binary story for Jim [Vico Ortiz]."
About S2 and the show - "The show is the relationship," Jenkins said. "So, we end in a place where there is this breakup. What happens after a breakup between these two people who, one’s realized he's in love and the other one is hurt in a way that he's never been hurt before? What does that do to each of them in an action, pirate world with them trying to find each other again? So again, I really love those rom-com beats."
Collider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Carly Lane - Link
On making it a romcom - "It's the only reason to make the show. If you didn't do that, it would just be weird. I mean, you're using the rom-com beats. You're using these like they're together. And it's funny because so we're so habituated to be like bromance, bromance, bromance, and it's such a simple move to put them together."
Discusses focusing on romance - "I guess I really... I get kind of bored. How much pirate can you do? They're going to rob stuff. They're going to steal ships. There's only so many pirate stories you can do. So if you're going to do a workplace story, I mean, you're essentially having this... You'd have this same amount of relationships in Grey's Anatomy in the ER. So it's standard. It's the most standard. We're making a soap opera on a pirate ship, and to use those soap opera beats... I like it, and I like the flavor in a comedy when you have something that's played genuinely up against very ridiculous things."
Discusses history and kissing scene
Discusses importance of going home to Mary - "Yeah, that was the problem for me in the story. I knew that I wanted to have the end where he goes home, because you need to give Mary her day in court. I just wanted to know from Mary's perspective what happened and then to see that, yeah, they're friends."
Is Lucius dead? - "You got to wait."
EW.com - Mar 25, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link
David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview
Pitch for the show - "To me, [Stede and Blackbeard's relationship] is the reason to make the show," Jenkins explains. "When Taika and I were first talking about it, he was like, 'Oh yeah, that's the show.' I first started reading about Stede and how he befriended Blackbeard and we don't know why. Very quickly, it was like, 'Oh, it's a romance.'"
Polygon - Mar 25, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link
Discusses 3-season intent - "I think three seasons is good. I think we could do it in three."
Discusses acts within S1 - "To me, when you see him get stabbed, and the blood runs through his fingers, it’s like 'Oh, no, the clown got stabbed! And not comedy-stabbed, he got stabbed stabbed!' That to me is cool. And then having Blackbeard find him as the end of what would be the first act of our story felt good to me."
Discusses kiss scene filming and the national moment around gay rights
What to focus on a rewatch - "I think Con O'Neill does such a great job. He's such a complex character, and it's such a tortured relationship. And that's a love story too, between him and Blackbeard. It's a very dysfunctional story, but it's fun to watch. Watch that maybe, on a rewatch, looking where their relationship ultimately goes."
TV Insider - Mar 25, 2022 - with Meaghan Darwish - Link
Discusses show pitch - "When I was pitching [the show] to people, I'd be like, 'Okay, so it's about Stede and Blackbeard, and then they hit it off and then they fall in love.' And then people are like, 'Okay, cool,' Jenkins shares. "And then they really fall in love, and become intimately involved."
Discusses historical inspiration
Discusses S2 direction - "But when [Stede] goes to find [Blackbeard], he's gone and his crew's been abandoned. And so watching them try to negotiate that, that's a good rom-com beat," he adds.
The Verge - Apr 15, 2022 - with Charles Pulliam-Moore - Link
Discusses being surprised by queerbaiting legacy - "...part of me knew that, yes, Stede and Ed's romance was going to be real. But one part of me felt like, 'We're going to do this story, and they're going to kiss, and maybe that's not even going to be that big a deal. Maybe it'll just be a blip.'"
Discusses writing romance - "I'd never written a romance before this one, but I think with Ed and Stede, the question's always 'what's the need for each other?'"
Discusses falling in love and Stede's accidental seduction - "It made sense to have that love be almost like a teenage version of falling in love — one with all these intense and conflicting feelings. They're middle-aged, but Stede's young. Ed's young. Emotionally, they're like 16, and they've both got a lot to learn."
Discusses Con O'Neill as Izzy - "He plays an exhausted quality that's really lovely because this character could just be generically evil, and the way Con plays, it is like, he's credible. I believe that he can do some damage if he wanted to. My favorite thing I've seen about the show is somebody saying that Con's playing the only human with a bunch of Muppets. It does feel like that a bit where he's like Charles Grodin in The Great Muppet Caper."
On Izzy being in love with Blackbeard - "I think Izzy's deeply in love with Blackbeard, and it's a very dysfunctional kind of love, and he's like the jilted spouse who's losing his man to fucking Stede Bonnet, and he can't believe this is happening."
Discusses masculinity and piracy as an escape from that
Discusses diversity and trauma based stories - "And the consensus in that very diverse room was that we wanted to show that isn't just wallowing in trauma. We don't have to do a coming out scene or focusing on the trauma of it — not to say that those stories aren’t valid."
Gizmodo - Jun 20, 2022 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link
Musing on fandom response to the show - "I'm wondering if the fact that because the queerness of this show isn't gaslighting the audience, and isn't a function of wanting to do something, but not being able to produce the results because of network standards. I think we just happened to be in this lucky spot where the show is actually queer… and I do think that people are responding to that."
Comparing fanfiction to writing - "And Con O'Neill's audition was one of those things I would go back to. I would watch that and be like… Oh, right, that's the show. And in a way, you're writing fanfiction for a certain actor and character because you want them to do something, and you're like–" at this point, it must be said, Jenkins let out a maniacal little giggle. He’s just as thrilled to show off Con O'Neill's ability to seem both deeply exhausted and menacing as the rest of the fandom. "And you [as the writer] you're like… And then Izzy does this now."
EW.com - Dec 13, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link
Discusses The Chain sequence - "I had initially wanted that end sequence to be like the FBI raid in a mob movie, where the feds come in, and they've got boxes of stuff, and everyone's running, and someone makes a dash for it," Jenkins explains. "So, it's like a mob movie or FBI raid story, and then it's also a story of Stede's lover coming back."
Pre-S2
Collider - Oct 2, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link
Discusses fan reaction to S1 - "I thought that they'd kiss, and people would be like, 'Oh, cool, cool!' I kind of thought people would know a little bit more [about] where we were going, but then in hindsight, no, people have been hurt and burned on so many other shows and then made to feel silly."
Discusses starting S2 dark - "One of these characters is very, very damaged and has never made himself vulnerable in this way before, and I don't think [he] would react very well to having his heart broken in this way. I don't think it would be cute, and I don't think it would be funny. I think it would be scary as hell to watch a very damaged guy that we've established in Ed, who killed his dad and thinks he's not capable of being loved, deal with rejection and see that Stede really hurt him."
Discusses adding more female characters
Discusses S2 needle drops including "This Woman's Work"
Discusses 3-season arc
Post 2x01 - 2x03
Mashable - Oct 5, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link
Discusses fandom response to S1
About the canon gay relationship - "To watch the explosion of enthusiasm around [the kiss] was disorienting, almost," Jenkins said. "I thought people would react to it, but I didn't think the reaction would be that big. And then it was moving, because I didn't realize that this audience felt so unserved in general, as far as storylines go."
Insider - Oct 5, 2023 - with Ayomikun Adekaiyero - Link
Tease on leaning into the Stede / Ed / Izzy love triangle - "I think Izzy, in a certain way, got the worst deal in the first season," the showrunner tells Insider. "He gets jilted and then he still is in spurned spouse territory at the beginning of the second season."
Discusses Izzy's arc - "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other," he teases
Discusses addition of Zheng - "He likens Zheng's way of pirating to a successful tech startup, compared with the garage sale vibe Stede had going on the Revenge."
Discusses introducing Hornigold - "I thought Hornigold was the most obvious because he was the person who made Blackbeard what he is. And Blackbeard has a father complex, so it's natural that he's going to bring his former captain back," the show creator said. "It's a struggle with him because he and dad figures don't historically do well."
Discusses importance of the mermaid scene
Inverse - Oct 5, 2023 - with Hoai-Tran Bui - Link
Reveals he didn't commit to the romance until shooting 1x06 - "Jenkins always intended his pirate comedy to end with a romance, but he'd envisioned it as an unrequited love. "It was going to be about Stede learning what love is, and Ed making himself vulnerable and getting burned," Jenkins says of his original pitch. But Darby and Waititi's choices in the scene, which they played without diffusing the tenderness with a joke, made him wonder if they could take the show in a new direction."
Discusses mermaid Stede idea from S1 - "We talked about Stede as a mermaid very early on in the writers' room," Jenkins says. "At some point, yeah, I want to see Rhys Darby as a merman." + "They wanted us to come up with a Season 2 pitch during Season 1. And that was one of the ideas we hit on, and I can't quite remember how we got there, but it was us asking, what is a pirate world? Are there mermaids? Is there magic in this show? With pirate stuff, I don’t know that I want there to be magic, but there was a way where it was something really beautiful about a mer-person, and I like the idea that their coming together would have a mythic size to it."
Discusses historical divergence
Discusses matelotage and pirates as weird outsiders
TV Guide - Oct 5, 2023 - with Allison Piccuro - Link
About the shipping culture - "It's the meat of the show, so it's great to have people bought into the central romance. If it were a bromance that we were trying to make look like a romance, that would suck."
Discusses playlists he makes
Discusses opening dream sequence - "I just like that it started with something badass. Stede, Blackbeard, and Izzy are on an arc together. Whether they're in stories together or not, their ultimate arc is together. I think, by the end of this season, the last episode, that first scene will be gratifying. I won't say why, but their fates are tied together."
Discusses Kraken arc - "But I think the thing that's good about this show is that it can go to really sweet comedy land, but I want there to be, like, if someone loses a body part, for instance, they lose a body part. To do justice to the fact that this guy is a killer and a monster, and dealing with heartache that he doesn't know how to deal with, I think you really need to go there."
Discusses Izzy in S2 - "I mean, he's jilted. He had a partnership with Blackbeard, and he knows he can't live up to this person that Blackbeard fell in love with... Who is that guy? What are his hobbies? What does it look like when he's not totally subsumed with his boss's love affair with somebody, and heartbroken?"
On S2 reunion - "The second season is them being a little bit more mature... It's the thing where you're in your 20s or 30s and you're like, "Well, should we move in together?" They have to make up some time because neither of them have been in a functional relationship before."
About genre of pirate stories - "...is a show about multiple relationships. That's what I want to see when I see this show. I don't want to see a bunch of pirate things that I've seen in other things, I'll just go watch another thing if I want to see that. That's not really my thing. I like the genre, but it's a very hard genre to budge. I want to see relationships in a pirate world."
Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring
Mashable - Oct 7, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link
About the mermaid scene - "You need something expressive for when they come back together," Jenkins said. "Their reunion moment has to feel big and mythical. This is not a world where mermaids actually exist, but their love for each other has that size that you can get [a mermaid] in there somewhere."
About Kate Bush - "I love Kate Bush, and I love that song, and I know Taika loves that song," Jenkins explained of the choice. "So I wanted to find a place for that song somewhere in the second season."
Polygon - Oct 9, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson & more - Link
Compares S2 and "Golden Age of Piracy" stuff to Westerns, lists 5 he was thinking of - "Every Western that’s good is that story," Jenkins says. "'This way of life we made is coming to an end. It can't last. It's a blip in time. We created this thing because we need it to exist. We're outlaws, and we need a culture that suits us, but it's running out of time.'"
Gizmodo - Oct 9, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link
Short tease on leaning into the love triangle
About Stede, Edward, and Izzy - "I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable," Jenkins said in an interview with io9. "And to watch Izzy try to process what's happened [in season one]… to watch him kind of grow and figure out what's his own story, if he can separate himself from this kind of toxic relationship, is interesting to me and I think gives him a lot of room for growth."
Post 2x04 - 2x05
IndieWire - Oct 12, 2023 - with Sarah Shachat - Link
Discusses directing and show creation
"The limitations of the show also naturally push it back towards moments with the ensemble and plot problems that it would frankly be irresponsible to tackle if you had a giant budget and a fully working ship-of-the-line to sail and then blow to bits. "That's the fun of the show to us, I think. If you open this up and you're like, unlimited budget, that would be terrible because I think you can get seduced," Jenkins said. "[It could be like,] 'Oh man, it's all leading up to a climatic battle on the sea.' And those things are great. But that’s not this show.""
"The nice thing about that, though, is you get to be the lo-fi show that’s like, 'Hey, we’re making The Muppets.'"
PopSugar - Oct 12, 2023 - with Victoria Edel - Link
About S2 Stede - "I like the idea that he learns and grows and he doesn't just stay a bumbling captain. He might be ridiculous, but he is getting better at it."
Discusses genre challenges - "How do you have a show that's a romance show but it's also a workplace show and they're criminals?"
Discusses Edward's redemption - "But Blackbeard still has to come back and apologize and be part of the community again, and give his little press conference. It was fun for us to look at that in the context of piracy, where they all do terrible things to each other. But even by their standards, what Blackbeard did was a bit much."
Discusses Izzy in S2 - "When Izzy shoots Blackbeard and they all mutiny on him, that's Izzy breaking up with Blackbeard. And they're both having their own journey in the wake of it, and Izzy's having his own redemption arc. He's trying to figure out, "Who am I if I'm not Blackbeard's first mate? Who am I outside of this relationship?"" + "If Stede's Spongebob, he's Squidward. I don't know what that makes Blackbeard. But there's a real pathos to Squidward."
Discusses trauma-based narratives - "As a diverse room in terms of sexuality, socio-economic background, and race, we thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a non-trauma-based story for these characters who don't get that historically?""
Variety - Oct 13, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link
Discusses three act structure and making Stede work for a relationship - "The way I like to look at a season is in threes. The end of the first act is when they find each other, and this is the beginning of the second act. They've found each other, but they are pissed. Stede thought it was going to be [Kate Bush's] “This Woman's Work,” but, in reality, it is this headbutt –– literally."
Discusses the central romance - "It was always part of the pitch... that is the reason to make the show. The pirate genre is fun, but I wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. Taika wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. But the thing that was interesting to me was that Stede finds love, and he finds it with Blackbeard."
Discusses 2x04 plot - "This episode is based on a very, very thumbnail sketch of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?." Anne and Mary are Martha and George, and they are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton."
Discusses adding historical pirates
Discusses Buttons exit - "I just love the idea of him turning into a bird: I love the idea of Buttons somehow being the one character that is able to figure that out."
Discusses Izzy and the crew's trauma plot - "We liked the idea that there is something about trauma and getting past that trauma, even on a pirate ship. They have been through two very different ways of living and they have to get used to each other again. But it's also a family that was separated, and becoming one family again is painful."
Discusses bringing characters back - "We could bring Calico Jack back, who, if you remember, was hit by a cannonball last season. Anyone who is that fun to play with and wants to keep playing, you always find a way to bring them back."
Polygon - Oct 14, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link
Discusses 3-season arc and how keeping them apart with some plot device was never in the cards - "at the end of the first season, they're 14-year-olds, emotionally. In this season, it's more like they’re in their late 20s."
Discussing New Zealand production and ensemble cast writing - "It's pretty organic, because as we're going through and tracking everybody's journey for the season, we're watching the thing that holds us together — what stage of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship are we in? Because the overarching arc is, are these guys going to learn how to settle into a relationship?"
"The second season is more overtly about romance, and more a relationship story."
Energizing aspect of fan reaction
S3 is about "love is work"
Gizmodo - Oct 16, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link
About the story - "I want to see them become a functional couple or fail to become a functional couple," Jenkins said. "Those are the most interesting parts of the show."
Discusses fandom engagement - "...ultimately the writers are also "the fans in the room." He goes on to say that, "We're fans of the world. We're writing fanfic about our own characters, our own worlds… It's paid fanfic, but it's fanfic." He gives another example: "If you're writing a season of Succession, you're writing fanfic Succession. You're just getting paid to do it. We, as writers–" it's clear that he's not just talking about the writers in the writers room, "become fans of the world and we all have things we want to see these characters do. What we do is not that different."
Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring
Discusses Zheng Yi Sao
Villains of the series - There are a lot of new villains this season, but, Jenkins says, ultimately, "the antagonist on this show is normalcy… These pirates have a way of life that they're not finding in normal life. They've found a way to live and support each other and be there for each other. And that's always threatened by these larger, tyrannical forces that want to shut them down."
Post 2x06 - 2x07
Mashable - Oct 19, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link
Discussing drag performance in 2x06
"It is nice to see with Izzy's arc, where he finally breaks through whatever he's been doing to himself. He lets himself have that moment, which I just love. It resonates for Izzy, and I think it resonates for Con. Just personally, it made me feel good to see how it turned out."
Consequence - Oct 19, 2023 - with Liz Shannon Miller - Link
Discusses intent for romance - "...telling a love story in a serialized medium like television has its perils, largely because it's tough to know how much you can draw out any unresolved tension. "I think we take it episode by episode and we try to not piss people off in taking too long and doing double beats and triple beats," Jenkins says. "You can only do Will They or Won’t They for so long. Then you have to deepen it.""
Discusses pirate setting - "The emphasis on relationships also fits into the show's high-seas setting, which Jenkins finds similar to post-apocalyptic narratives. "It is a little bit like you're doing Mad Max, except there's relationships," he says. "Stuff's shitty, so you gotta try to find some joy. Of course, people are going to have a need for each other in these extreme circumstances, and I like the idea of these characters finding some level of a healthy relationship in these extreme circumstances.""
Discusses Jim x Archie
Discusses 3-season arc
Polygon - Oct 21, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link
Discussing gender and power dynamics in Jackie x Swede / Zheng x Oluwande / Blackbeard x Stede + A Star is Born aspect
Jim not being jealous of Oluwande - "I think that relationship was always seen in the room as a friend relationship that got romantic."
About adding a villain - "I think a lot of the internal forces in Our Flag are the villains." + "I think this is a story about the age of piracy coming to an end. This way of life is coming to an end. And every Western that's good is that story: This way of life we made is coming to an end, and it can't last. […] I think every story about outlaws is about trying to preserve a way of life against normative forces that are kind of fascistic."
Historical accuracy - "The balance of the show is 90% ignoring history, and then 10%, bring it in, whenever we're like, Ah, gotta move the story forward! Remember, the English are out there, and they're really bad!"
Post 2x08
AV Club - Oct 26, 2023 - with Saloni Gajjar - Link
Killing Izzy was always the plan - "We wanted to show the depth of that character. Izzy is one of my favorites. He's like middle management who is in a sort of love triangle [in season one]."
Discusses how they really wanted the happy ending for S2 - "I think with season one's end, it was a gamble to leave it the way it was. Everybody stomached through it. Now if it turned out they didn't want us to make more, I just didn't want to have another story where the same-sex love story ends in tragedy, unrequited love, or if one or both of them are being punished."
Discusses S2 progressing the 3-season romance - "They’re a couple who is like in their late twenties right now as opposed to being teens at the end of season one." + "It was an interesting tension of, which one gives up their dream? A lot of times in relationships questions can come up, like who is going to give up on their dream to take care of the kids? Obviously, no one wants to, but someone ends up giving up more than they want to at some point. What's wonderful about a mature romance, and what I'd want to see more of in season three, is Ed and Stede making these tough decisions." + progressing past the getting together point
Discusses parallels, Republic of Pirates, and Zheng Yi Sao
Short bit about fan response
Collider - Oct 26, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link
Discusses Ed leaving fishing - "I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he's a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, "At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it," he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true."
Discusses Izzy's speech to Ricky - "I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it."
Discusses Izzy's death scene - "In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The "we were Blackbeard" is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, "You can give it up." There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy's concerned because he's dying, and they did that together."
Discusses Republic of Pirates / music parallels from premier to finale
Discusses finale wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other."
Discusses retirement ending - "That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, "Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?""
"Frenchie's in charge of the Revenge" + teases Stede struggling to give it up
EW.com - Oct 26, 2023 - with Devan Coggan - Link
Discusses Izzy's death and telling Con - "It feels like the logical end of Izzy's arc. It's heartbreaking to me because he's my favorite." + "I told him in the middle of shooting because I didn't want him to find out at the table read, obviously. I also didn't want it to leak. He was lovely about it."
Discusses Izzy's final arc - "You know, I didn't expect him to become kind of a father figure to Ed. I think we hit on that while we were breaking the [final] episode. He's in such a weird position: He's like a jilted lover, and then he's a middle manager who has to work for a terrible boss. He gets thrown away, and then he comes back. He really develops, and he becomes a part of this family. I think the biggest surprise was the extent that he was a mentor to Ed. They were both Blackbeard. They both made Blackbeard happen."
Discusses the happy ending intent - "With this season starting so dark, I kind of wanted to reward them for the work that they've done and the character growth that they've had. I wanted to leave them in a place where they're really going to try and make this work. I don't think it's going to be easy for them, necessarily. They're both still immature."
Discusses the wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the second season, and pretty quickly we landed on Lucius and Black Pete. It seems like they were ready for that. We made up a ceremony and everything, where they call each other mateys, and it was just fun to make our own version of a pirate wedding ceremony."
Discusses potential S3 and Frenchie's Revenge - "But it felt like a good place to end the second season. It felt like a contrast to the first season. If it turns out we don't make any more, I'm comfortable with that being a resting place."
Variety - Oct 26, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link
S3 endpoint - "I love things in threes," he says. "That first act, second act, third act structure is so satisfying when it is done well, and you don't overstay your welcome. I think this world of the show is a big world, and if the third season is successful, we could go on in a different way. But I think for the story of Stede and Ed, that is a three-season story."
Discusses the draw of a "Golden Age" and it's ending
Talks about father figure Izzy and wanting a real sense of loss - "There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season and then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure he doesn’t want to lose — because Ed usually kills his father figures."
Gizmodo - Oct 26, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link
Teasing future Izzy - "Jenkins looked slightly sad himself, saying that "Ghosts exist in this world." I told him not to make promises he couldn't keep."
"Jenkins said that he doesn't see Izzy as a pure antagonist in season one because on some level… Izzy was right in his hesitations about Stede."
Discussing Con O'Neill & Rhys Darby acting
Jenkins confirms the season was always 8 episodes due to budget cuts
About S2 finale vs S3 - "The first season ends on such a downer, so it made sense to end the second season in a kinder spot." + "I think there's plenty of story left for season three, but I think that it was important to end this as if it was the end of the show, and on upbeat note and avoid the kind of "kill your gays" trope. I don't want to see Stede and Ed punished for giving it a go. I want to see them really say, 'yeah, we’re going to we're going to try to have a relationship'."
Teases S3 revenge against Ricky and going to the Americas
Vanity Fair - Oct 26, 2023 - with Sarah Catherall - Link
About the ending - "It's bittersweet. There's death and there's the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship; there's a funeral, there's a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it's about belonging to something." + "A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it's unrequited or it's unrealized; something horrible happens and they're punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it's happy."
Discusses Izzy as a mentor / father figure - "We felt like Izzy's story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard." + "And it's also a pirate show, so he's got to die."
Discusses filming challenges - "It's a big show; it's basically a one-hour show that we're doing on a half-hour budget."
Discusses adding Zheng Yi Sao
Is the show a queer romance? - "For this show, it's important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don't matter, because if you've been in love and you've been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are."
Blackbeard's arc in S2 - "...the second season is about Blackbeard's midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together." + "I don't think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They're emotionally saying: 'Let's give this a go.'"
Discusses historical piracy as "counterculture" that's been straightwashed and whitewashed
Did he feel responsibility to the fan community? - "As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody's out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we're true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there's somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it."
Paste Magazine - Oct 26, 2023 - with Tara Bennett - Link
Discusses whether fandom expectations felt weighty - "I think particularly for this season, that "bury your gays" thing… I didn't want to end on a downbeat for Ed and Stede. We did that in the first season. I like that there's a lot of different flavors. It's even a little melancholy because the Republic of Pirates got blown up. But there's still more good things."
Discusses production and plotting - "I wanted to start at the Republic of Pirates this season and end at the Republic of Pirates. And I knew I wanted the Republic of Pirates to be destroyed, ultimately. Within that, we are making a one-hour show on a half hour budget, on a half hour schedule."
Discusses planning the ending - "In terms of ending this season, it all felt right just in talking through it when we were in the room. It felt pretty intuitive. When you get to the third act of the story, things kind of settle in. There's gonna be a funeral. We always knew we wanted a wedding at the end of the second season. And I knew that I wanted Stede and Ed to start an inn together. So once you have those beats, it's kind of locked in."
Discusses Izzy's arc - "It's kind of a strange arc in that I knew we were going to put him through all these things, and I knew he would ultimately die. But I think him becoming a father figure to Ed in the last episode didn't really dawn on us until we were breaking the last episode. Asking what would this man say to Ed at the end because they've been together through everything? He went from a troubled and downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy's parental figure on some level. And he's one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures. So, it felt right and it felt like that's how the mentor dies. The mentor in a story usually dies in the second act and then our hero has to go on and try to do it without them. It felt like the right journey for Izzy and a gratifying one for Con."
On leaving open for S3 - "I don't think it was a very hard thing to do. I think it was more that I felt a responsibility to leave Ed and Stede in a good place, at least for now. It's not gonna go well. They're not going to run a business well. Ed's too much of a talker. Stede can't focus. It's gonna be challenging."
Vulture - Oct 28, 2023 - with Sophie Brookover - Link
Discussing Izzy as a "father figure" and his S2 send-off being a priority
Meaning of piracy - "...what our pirates stand for is a life of belonging to something larger than they are in the face of a crushing, slightly fascist normalcy."
Re: Con O'Neill & Izzy's death - "I had to tell him about halfway through the season"
Third season about the work of a relationship between still damaged main characters
Discusses middles as about change and transitions, and wanting characters to change instead of reset, have them experience permanent consequences
About the final scene - "...Ed and Stede as the parents kind of watching the kids take the ship. Frenchie's the captain now..."
Objective of the crew - "...have had terrible things happen to them at the hands of colonial forces, so they want some payback. Party, plunder, and payback — the three P's."
Metro Weekly - Nov 1, 2023 - with Randy Shulman - Link
Discusses historical premise of S1 and easing into the romance
Discusses S2 genre - "In the second season, it was great because we know it's a romance and we can lead with that. It's a workplace show essentially. I wanted it to be more in the vein of early episodes of Grey's Anatomy or something where there are all these relationships on those shows. That's what you’re following — relationships and friendships that are taking place in a hospital, procedural. That's Grey's Anatomy. This is less procedural for the pirate stuff — and you need the pirate stuff."
Discusses not being into pirates - "But I'm like you. I'm not a big pirate person. In general, it's a big creaky genre that's hard to budge" + "Pirates of the Caribbean, those movies are great. That's not necessarily what I hunger to see, but in that genre, it's great. You're not going to beat that, especially on something that's lower budget. We've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's fun to take it then and don't do any of that stuff."
Discusses adapting historical piracy - "You don't want to see them punch down. You don't want to see them do terrible things to people who don't deserve it, which is not what they really did. So, in the show's world, I think piracy is like a stand-in for something. I think it's a stand-in for being an iconoclast and an outsider and queer in some ways and just different." + "Yeah, I mean, the British are there to be Stormtroopers, or Nazis in an Indiana Jones movie. I mean, they're in there to die essentially."
Discusses diversity staffing
Discusses performative masculinity
Discusses Izzy's death, happy endings, and openness to S3
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lovelytsunoda · 10 months
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book lovers // lance stroll (instagram au)
summary: there’s no question why author y/n y/l/n’s books are so popular. it’s because she’s dating lance stroll, a man who is the definition of book boyfriend
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yourusername
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tagged: lancestroll
yourusername: we were due some time away…time to get the creative juices going on book three 🪻
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lancestroll I’d go anywhere with you, my love
landonorris I’m still waiting for you to name a character after me
-> yourusername we’ll you’re going to be waiting a while then bestie
user yall seem to be missing the part where she said she’s working on book three!!!
fernandoalonso you guys are so cute it’s sickening
user god she’s living out the romance book dream 🥺
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yourusername
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yourusername I have two very big, very exciting announcements to make today. the first is that after months and months of writing and editing and proofreading, I can finally tell you that my third novel ‘Book Lovers’ will be hitting shelves this December. My heart and soul has gone into this novel in ways you won’t even understand after you’ve read the last page.
Additionally, it appears that my boyfriend had some ulterior motives for this fun little trip to the coast. In six shorts months, I will officially be Y/N Stroll. Lance, you are my best friend. You were the inspiration in my mind when I wrote the love interest in my debut, and you are still the inspiration now that I’ve written my favourite novel yet. You make me feel like I’m living my own fairytale and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life loving you.
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lancestroll I cannot believe that you just announced our engagement in the same post as your new book
-> yourusername if I could finish writing that goddamn final draft and have the book turn out this good, planning a wedding will be a slice of cake
username he better treat her right because if he breaks her heart we are going to get the most gut wrenching tear inducing book of the century (it’s a canon event I cannot intervene)
danielricciardo if anyone asks the bigfoot erotica was my idea
-> user THE FUCKING WHAT
chloestroll Welcome to the family beautiful! Scotty can’t wait to get a character named after him
-> yourusername tell Scotty he’s going to be waiting a while 😭🫶🏻
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hookhausenschips · 4 months
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Dad!Hook Headcanon
AEW Masterlist
Word Count: 1,317
Author's Note: I am definitely going to make this a series, like adventures with mini senerchia or something like that so stay tuned
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The day after All In, you and Tyler had celebrated the night before since he had won his championship back from Jack.
You both were too eager to even think of using a condom, thank god for birth control. Right?
Not thinking much of it when it was now October a couple days after WrestleDream and you had still yet to get your period
There’s no way you were pregnant, although you hadn’t wrestled since the Dynamite after All In due to a slight wrist sprain you didn’t have any morning sickness
That night at Rampage waiting for Tyler to come back from his match your phone rang, it was your mother
“Y/N why am I having dreams of being a grandmother again?” She asked straight away, “Wow Hi mom nice to hear from you too. I’m doing great thanks for asking.” you replied. “Cut the shit little miss. I know it's not your brother again or your sister, So the only one left out of my children is you.”
You reassured your mom that you were in fact NOT pregnant, even though you are in your early 20s she still scared you
But as the days went on the thought continued to eat at you.
So here you stood in your locker room before Dynamite with Skye, Kris, WIllow, and Julia all with you for moral support as you took the six tests you bought. Can’t be too sure.
Willow was grinning, “Could you imagine how cute your guy’s babies would be if it is positive?” The rest all joining in gushing as well
You sat there on the floor in front of the table that held the fate of your future.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP* The alarm on your phone signaling the timer was now finished. 
You looked at the girls slowly feeling the anxiety start to flood your system
Yeah you and Tyler had talked about kids but not too in depth, you both wanted them but now? Not even at the peaks of your careers, were you ready to be parents?
Taking a deep breath you stood up and flipped over the first test.
Your heart hammered against your rib cage, you blinked several times to make sure you were reading it right ‘POSITIVE” it read in bold letters. 
You flipped all the others and they read the same. You are pregnant,
You turned towards the girls feeling overwhelmed with emotion holding up one of the many tests
They all gasped reading the test before crowding around you hugging you
Words of love and encouragement were uttered between them towards you
You shoved all the tests at the bottom of your suitcase before heading off to tell your bosses
They were elated to hear the news, congratulations flew around the room
You would figure out a way to be written off of tv until after the baby was here
You had asked that they not tell anyone yet especially Taz or Tyler, you wanted to surprise the two
Thankfully that weekend was the weekend you were flying back to New York with Tyler for a little get together with some of his family
That Friday before you flew out you went and bought the things you needed for your announcement
Over the course of your relationship you had grown close to Tyler’s family especially his cousins. 
You had informed one of his cousins, Laila, about the news and asked if she could help out with filming the announcement. Of course she had agreed.
There you stood in Taz’s backyard holding three boxes that held your surprises
Laila was ready inside at the kitchen island as you asked Tyler, his mom, and Taz if you all could talk
Joining you inside Taz was the first to notice the boxes with their names on them
“Christmas come early ranuncolo?” (buttercup)
Smiling nervously you nodded, “Something like that. You can open them,”
His mother was the first to open her’s. Reading the card first as Taz and Tyler opened theirs as well
Tyler stood silently as he read what the little onesie said ‘future sparring partner’ each box held a positive pregnancy test
His mother was next, she gasped seeing the test and the onesie that read ‘move I’m here for grandma’s cuddles and cooking’
Taz chuckled as he felt tears come to his eyes as he read what his said ‘future ftw mini champion’ and a shirt that said ‘soon to be grandpa’
“Are you serious?” Tyler spoke as his eyes went back and forth from his box, his parents, then you
You nodded smiling
He rushed over to you, picking you up and kissing you before cheering, “I’m going to be a dad!”
His mother and father came over to hug you both and congratulate you
“You two are young but I know that little one will be in good hands. I guess I don;t have to wait until I’m gray now to be a grandpa.” Taz said after hugging you and patting his son on his shoulder
“You are turning gray darling.” His wife replied as we all laughed
Soon enough you told the whole roster, they all were overjoyed at the thought of the AEW family growing
You even called Cody and Brandi to tell them since they were one of the huge reasons why you joined AEW
Once it came time for the scan and knowing the baby’s gender, you trusted the results to Kris and Willow
Your gender reveal was definitely one of a kind, your very own wrestling match to determine the gender with the whole roster and company present before Collision
The winner would get the belt  and once the bell was rung the ring posts would burst with streamers and colored powder
You were very amused seeing the set up
The winner was announced and as you and Hook stood in the ring with them when the ring erupted.
IT’S A BOY!!!!
You cried tears of joy as Tyler embraced you, you didn’t care if it was a boy or girl when asked in the pre gender reveal video you were just happy to have a healthy baby with the man of your dreams
Your baby shower was of course wrestler themed, you had to incorporate it
The nursery was put together in no time and you were in love with it
Tyler wouldn’t let you help claiming you were doing enough just by carrying your guy’s baby the least he could do was put up the nursery
He was like that all throughout your entire pregnancy
Due date was soon approaching and you were ready for baby bear to get out
You couldn’t lay comfortably anymore and the past month felt like your rib cage was his jungle gym
Soon enough your water broke the night before your due date, May 24th 2024.
You were in labor for 16 hours, and you were pissed
You threatened Tyler that he wouldn’t get to touch you after your son was born, it was his fault you were in this much pain to begin with was your logic
At 10:28 pm, your little bundle of joy was welcomed into the world
He had a head full of hair and Tyler’s eyes
He was beautiful, you couldn’t stop crying as the nurses placed him on your chest, you felt so many emotions flow through you
After awhile you looked and Tyler to see him crying, you smiled at him gesturing him to join you on the bed
“You want to hold your son?” you whispered, he nodded and held his arms out as you placed the baby into his arms.
You swore you couldn’t fall more in love with Tyler but at that moment seeing him talk to his son; y/s/n, and cuddle him, you could've sworn heaven was here on Earth in that moment.
Join my taglist to be notified of future works!
Hook Taglist: @shawtys-things, @gethooked, @hope4more
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Hi, I just saw your request with Leo and Reader where Jason walks in on the two of them in compromising situations, so I was wondering if you can do the same thing, just that this time is Jason and Reader and she is Percy sister, I think it would be very interesting
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ The Two Times Percy Nearly Caught Them, And The One Time He Did
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content: jason grace x daughter of poseidon! reader warning: language, sexual allusions but a bit of stretch author's note: i feel like jason is ooc but i think he should be allowed to be fun. break that romanness from him and what do you get?? a child who just wants to have fun GODDAMN IT-
percy jackson can be obvious. we know this. but, let's just see how obvious, shall we?
i. the welcome home committee
percy was finally coming back to camp after a brutally year at school. he wanted nothing more than to curl up with annabeth and waste the summer away. oh, and i guess to see his sister too. kidding, kidding, he's counting down the seconds to see his baby sister again. he was bounding up the steps of cabin three, only halting as he thought he heard two voices. he frowned and his face scrunched up, leading him to lean his ear close to the door.
"...percy's gonna be here soon." he heard y/n say, though he missed the first part of her sentence.
"i've got time," a voice replied with a laugh and percy knew he should be able to pinpoint it, but he just couldn't place it.
"that's what you think and then im gonna be without a shirt and percy's gonna swing the door open and -"
"you worry too much. just go with the flow," the voice joked once more and percy could feel the name of the person just on the tip of his tongue. thinking he'd be able to catch them, percy instantly swung the door wide open and glared over at his sister's side of the cabin.
"percy?! you're back early!! oh my gods, look at you!!" she cheered, instantly leaping from her bed and pulling percy into a tight hug. percy kissed the top of her head as she pulled him into a hug, his eyes glaring all around as he tried to see if someone was hiding under her bed or behind some curtains. once he was sure there was no one, he pulled back and began to unpack
"i could have sworn i heard two voices as i walked in," percy started, glancing over his shoulder as he put a pillow on his bed. instantly, she pointed over to where her laptop was, some movie playing. without a second thought, percy's shoulder's relaxed and he smiled brightly at his little sister.
"alrighty, then. i'll leave you to it, gotta see the misses," percy joked as he left the cabin, a pep in his step now that he was certain there were no guys snooping around his little sister.
y/n peeked out the cabin, making sure percy was going to stay gone, before looking up at the roof of the cabin, where jason was floating with a smirk.
"you're quite proud of yourself up there, huh?"
"what can i say, i'm fast on my feet!" jason cheered only to come crashing to the ground after a spirt of water splashed against his face. he looked up at the daughter of poseidon, now, who was glaring down at him.
"out?" jason assumed
"OBVIOUSLY!"
ii. capture the lips - er - flag
chiron had, recently, been placing rules on capture the flag. athena and poseidon weren't allowed to be on the same teams anymore, as percy and annabeth would just end up fighting each other. no more than two cabins of the big there were allowed to be on the same team, due to unfair advantages. normally, that wouldn't be a probably as nico didn't like to play. but, since getting with will, he's grown out of his shell and said he would play in the next game with the apollo cabin. which had already teamed up with the poseidon cabin. so that meant the zeus cabin (jason. it's just jason) was with athena. to say he was disappointed was more than a lie, as he would typically use this time to drag y/n off to make out in the woods until it was over. not this time though, as jason had to suit up in a different colored armor than y/n, pouting the whole way.
then y/n marched past him, following after percy, as her shoulder's collided with jasons. she apologized and offered him a quick wink from under her helmet before chasing after her brother once more. jason looked down at his hand, noticing that a note had been shoved into it.
meet me at the creek
ps you look cute in red, does great things for your ass
jason couldn't help but smile at the note, shoving it into his jean pockets and pretending to listen to whatever orders annabeth was giving, knowing he wouldn't follow a single order from her. there was one girl in jason's life that he listened to and if she told him to go to the creek, flag be damned he'd be at that creek.
she was a vision in bronze and jason had her pinned against a tree within seconds of seeing her. both of their swords had been stabbed into the ground and helmets were tossed to the nearest location. jason had her face cupped between his hands, his lips firmly pressed against hers. then they heard footsteps, rapid, followed by shouts of protest. without much thought, y/n grabbed jason's wrist and flipped him over your shoulder, sending them both sprawling across the ground as though they were in the middle of a fight. jason groaned as he was winded on the ground, glaring over at the girl. she then produced a dagger and held it agaisnt his throat as the other campers scrambled past, will cheering as he and nico dragged the flag across the creek. once certain no one was looking, you pulled your knife away from jason's neck and helped him up.
"that was what you thought of? break my back?" jason groaned, stretching as he stood.
"you'd know all about breaking backs, huh?" y/n taunted with a smirk and jason laughed, shaking his head as he picked up both their words.
"funny."
"careful, might fall in love with me."
"might? it's far too late for me," jason teased, but you could hear the seriousness in his voice. you smiled at him, leaning up to press your lips against his once more until you heard percy's voice calling for you. your eyes widened in panic and you quickly shoved jason to the ground before pulling your sword out and shoving the point of it to his throat.
"y/n! y/n! there you are- hey, good job taking care of jason! my sister kick your ass or what?" percy taunted as he threw an arm over his sister's shoulders with a wide smile. jason groaned on the ground, glaring over at the girl who offered him a sheepish smile
"something like that," he huffed.
iii. the cabin one curse
percy had just wanted to hang out with jason. his best roman bud. he didn't think anything about the fact that his sister had been missing for the whole day, or the fact that he actually hadn't seen much of jason that day either. it wasn't on his mind as you bounded up the stairs of cabin one and swung the door wide open.
"hey, superman, wanna hang out-" percy called but as he took in the sight before him, the words died in his throat. his sweet baby sister, straddle the lap of his one of his best friends. his eyes instantly sharpened on jason, who looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"you're dead, grace."
"wait- wait- c'mon man, let's talk this out like civilized people," jason all but begged, rapidly removing y/n from his lap and jumping up, holding his hands out to percy like he was a feral beast.
"civilized? you wanna talk about civilized?! someone civilized wouldn't put their hands on my sister!" percy bite back, circling jason like a shark.
"she started it!" jason blurted like a child.
"pussy!" y/n shouted from jason's bed, jumping to her feet and joining her brother in the circling of the son of jupiter.
"she's not denying it!" added jason and percy halted, turning to his sister with narrowed eyes. the girl instantly shrunk, holding her hands up as a sign of innocence.
"...you didn't," percy huffed, instantly pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh, "i gave you specific instructions."
"no, no. you told me not to flirty with jason. we've definitely done more than flirty-" y/n replied easily before her eyes widened as she realized her mistake. she jolted forwards, grabbing hold of jason's wrist and dragging him out of the cabin. percy came running after them, chasing them as they weaved around camp.
"THATS IT! IM KILLING BOTH OF YOU!"
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eve-reviews · 16 days
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ㅤ Once Upon a Time is a thirteen-year old’s fanfiction that was found by the creators of Lost and stolen for a show in hopes of making some money off the teen population. If the half-formed faux-edgy characters or bad acting doesn’t sell you on just how poorly this show was made, the terrible CGI definitely will. The first season revolves around a character named Emma Swan, aka The Savior, coming to the town of Storybrooke where her son tries to convince her that the town is actually full of fairytale characters that are under a memory erasing spell. The show has a way of making you forget that you’re watching a fairytale story until later you realize that “Oh! They just had Prince Charming cheat on his wife with Snow White. And then The Evil Queen framed Snow White for the murder of Prince Charming’s wife by hiding that wife’s heart in a box in the place Snow and Charming would always meet.”
ㅤ While the first season seems Wild, each subsequent season tries to outdo itself. The following seasons follow a clear formula constantly trying to convince you that it’s a good show. The creator’s favorite persuasion is to twist the usual fairytale stories and then play a dramatic stinger underneath it as if to convince the viewer to say, “oh shit!” Each time it makes this attempt, I am met with an intense feeling, but not the intended one. It’s a burst of laughter, a burn of secondhand embarrassment, and the impulse to share it with a friend so I don’t have to go through it alone (and may I say, I think my friends are starting to get sick of me).
��           The show is held together by attempts to be a show that makes the viewer sit at the edge of the seat waiting to see what happens next. These attempts often involve corrupting or redeeming a “good” or “evil” character respectively. While the show constantly brings in numerous characters from Disney movies or any other existing story for that matter (such as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea), it seems to forget this sometimes, so we are left with characters who have been corrupted and redeemed 6 times alone (in Rumpelstiltskin’s case).
            Might I also add that the show often does a twist saying that two fairytale characters were actually the same one. If we take Rumpelstiltskin as an example again, he is at least three different characters off the top of my head. He also happens to be the Crocodile from Peter Pan and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. This isn’t even counting the family tree. Please feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph while I sort that out. Rumpelstiltskin is the son of Peter Pan (who’s evil) and the Black Fairy (who’s the origin of all evil or something?). He has a grandson, Henry, who is also the grandson of Snow White and Prince Charming. Henry also happens to be the adopted son of Regina, aka The Evil Queen. Regina if the daughter of the Queen of hearts and the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s also Snow White’s step-mother. Regina also happens to be soulmates with Robin Hood, who’s previous wife was sentenced to death by Regina before the curse. And Robin also had a daughter with the Wicked Witch but he didn’t know it was her at the time because she was pretending to be his dead wife.
            I’m stopping myself there. If you read any of that, you now hopefully know how complicated the lore is and how near impossible it is to explain. You may have also gleaned how fucking stupid it is. That was all just a small section of the family tree. The actual lore of this show involves people who are definitively good or evil (but they can be redeemed) and authors who are all powerful gods who control Everything but are also just Some Guy. And of course, a being of pure light magic called The Savior (Emma Swan aka Snow White and Prince Charming’s child) and a being of pure dark magic called The Dark One (Rumplestiltskin). I forced myself through the show. High out of my mind if I had to. And I gotta say, folks.
            I kinda love this show.
            At some point it starts to get confusing what the creators were thinking while making this show. You drive yourself crazy trying to put yourself in their heads. Do they know how dogshit it is? Are they trying to convince me this dogshit is actually fucking ratatouille? Or do they know it’s bad?
            By the end of season 6, I started to get the feeling that the writers had finally decided to accept that no one in the universe would consider this a good show; however, the show must go on so they may as well have fun with it. They finally left behind the attempts and just leaned into how bizarre the lore they’re spun truly is. They timeskip and they say. “Hey. We know that we’ve gone too far. We know we crossed a line somewhere along the way. But buddy? We’re not turning around. We’re gonna find throw back some brewskis and have a little fun.” And they decide to say that, “Actually? All those characters you just saw? The seemingly infinite number of them? That’s just the start. They’re just one of an actually infinite number of that same character that exists in the multiverse. We’re gonna make a new main character and she’s gonna be Cinderella. Yes, I know we already introduced Cinderella in season one. But this is a different Cinderella. From a different thirteen tear old’s fanfiction. “
            And so it becomes a show that clearly knows it’s bad. And I sit there and realize I had fun. And I realize that I’m still having fun. And I realize that that was the point. I spent the whole show taking everything so seriously, and for that, I partially blame the show for taking itself seriously. But somewhere along the way, the show stopped. And I followed suit shortly after. And it was fun.
            I loved watching Once Upon a Time.
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juneberrie · 5 months
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☆ going to school w bf!jason. !?
based on this request: "hey junie, can i request going to the same school as jason grace when he’s ur bf headcankns? also i hope everything works out well for ur quince good luck!!"
author's note: guys i actually havent written for jason for so long (its been three days)
— wc: 434 || jason grace masterlist
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goddd where do i start !!!
first of all. you're dating jason grace. aka the cutest patootie, awkward puppy lover bf
he'll bring you flowers, pass u cute notes in class, put little notes in your locker (if you use one bc i know i dont use my locker lolzies)
type of bf your friends love and tell all the drama to
pushing my fb!jason agenda — sitting on the bleachers while he practices, wrapped up in his letterman jacket and doing hw
adding on to fb!jason!!! the entire team knows who you are. its a side effect of dating the football superstar. they all love you and give jason advice on like. how to ask u to hoco/prom, date ideas, etc. he talks about you so much to the point that you could be meeting one of the guys for the first time and they would know your middle name, your favorite color, and an alphabetized list of people who've wronged you in the past
he would sit with you at lunch !! if you get school lunch he'll put his bag down on one chair and then his jacket/your bag/something on the chair next to it and then goes wwith you to the lunch line. if you bring your own lunch he walks you to the table, waits till the lines are short, gets his lunch and speedwells back to ur table <3
he would walk you to class all the time (aka if his class is on the way bc gods know if he was late to a class he'd have a mental breakdown)
its kind of awkward hanging out with him before school/at dances because since he knows a ton of ppl they come up and talk to him while ur just kinda standing there 🧍‍♀️ but!! like the amazeballs bf he is, he makes sure to introduce you and include you in the conversation!!
back to fb!jason (can u tell i like fb jason) after games, he quickly accepts congratulations from people (cause yk he's always winning) and immediately goes to find u <3 he'll give you one of those hugs where he picks u up and spins you around.
type of person to get his license the nanosecond he turns 16 . which meaaannnss!!! you get to be his passenger princess gf!!! he'll drive you EVERYYYYwhere. doesnt matter if he's not going he drives u anyways
i hc that he likes taylor swift so if you were a swiftie his hoco/promposal would def be taylor lyrics or something
"you belong with me — at hoco" type shit <3
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the-bloody-sadist · 6 months
Note
in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀
i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL
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Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!
(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)
I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.
Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.
Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):
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Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.
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Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.
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The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*
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Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!
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Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.
A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):
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Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]
Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]
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Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.
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Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.
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Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]
Two in Six Billion [Denzou]
The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.
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Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!
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Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.
Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]
From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!
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Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.
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Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]
Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]
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Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).
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Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---
Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]
Incorrigible [Bbong]
Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]
Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]
Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.
Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:
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Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.
ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.
Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.
Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.
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MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.
Warehouse [Killerwhale]
Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]
Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]
Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]
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Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)
Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]
Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]
Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]
My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]
Interview with a Murderer [KJK]
On or Off [A1]
Steel Under Silk [Snob]
The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.
Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.
Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.
19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.
Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.
Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.
That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!
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ineffable-suffering · 8 months
Text
The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens
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Just like so many other Good Omens red herrings, hints and *Aziraphale voice* clues, the question of 'What the fuck ist the deal with Aziraphale's flaming sword' has been absolutely tormenting my mind ever since S1 dropped all those years ago.
And while many of my other questions about S2 (like 'What the fuck is the deal with the Eccles cakes' or 'Who the fuck made the Gabriel statue') remain unanswered and could, possibly, just not matter at all and I should just get the fuck over them– the unsolved case of Aziraphale's flaming sword in S1 has always seemed like a weirdly important blind spot to me.
So, in an attempt to finally solve this knot in my brain, I made a timeline for the bloody Flaming Sword because what else would I spend my Friday evening on. Here goes nothing, I thought:
Aziraphale gets issued the sword by Heaven to guard the Garden of Eden in 4004 BC, and gives it away to the humans.
God asks him about it right after they humans have left Eden, Aziraphale lies to her and before even finishing speaking, God just loggs off and doesn't seem to care anymore.
The sword seems to be lost for the next 6000 years to follow and, once again, no one really cares.
The first time we see it again is when the International Express Man delivers it to War in the present day.
The next time we see it after that, is when Pepper effectively kicks war in the shin, makes her drop the sword and proceeds to anihilate her with it.
Brian and Wensleydale do the same to Famine and Pollution.
Aziraphale then wields the sword once more, despite never having to really use it (but hey, it looks capital-B Badass).
Lastly, our Holy Delivery Guy then picks up the sword together with the other (now deceased?) Horsmen's artefacts and they once again vanish.
Needless to say, I found myself nothing the wiser after making this timeline. It seemed completely useless. I still had no idea why the sword even existed and why they kept making such a big fucking fuss about it all throughout Season 1. So, I decided to make another list, this time with all the random ass questions I had about this random ass sword:
Why was it issued to Aziraphale in the first place? Since when does an angel need a random flaming weapon to protect two (2) humans that are already being guarded by a hundred-meter-high wall, when he could very well just miracle away any and every threat to both himself and them?
Was he given the sword to defend himself against demons? If so, why would they give him a burning blade instead of, for example, a Supersoaker full of Holy Water? (Sure, I'm fairly certain Supersoakers hadn't been invented yet, but you catch my drift)
Is the sword actually burning with hellfire? If so, it would a) still be a pretty useless weapon against demons, but also b) possibly explain why Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale were able to kill or at least temporarily get rid of three of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (who, be they whatever they actually are, surely count as some sort of immortal entities just like angels and demons do)
Did the sword actually kill War, Pollution and Famine? After all, the World as we knew it did get reinstated by Adam again once they managed to stop Armageddon. Does that mean that the three Horsemen were revived again too? Unless Season 2 takes place in a war-less, pollution-less and famine-less world, they must have somehow made their return (or never really died in the first place)
Where. The Fuck. Is. The Sword. Now? And why does it bother me so much???????
Alas, just like so many other questions, these too seemed to remain unsolved. And since the fucking sword didn't make a comeback in S2, I guessed that it probably just wasn't more than ... well, a randomly flaming, randomly misplaced, randomly unexplained Flaming Sword.
Nothing more than a plot device.
Hmm, right. A ... plot device.
Hang on. (And that's when it finally hit me.)
It's a fucking plot device.
Most authors and consumers of media are familiar with the use of plot devices in story telling. However, I personally had only every seen characters be used as such, to merely bring an important point across or further underline or advance a story's or main character's development or plot.
It wasn't until I was about to simply give up because I couldn't see my way out of the seemingly unlimited sword-related questions anymore, that I realized: There are no answers to those questions. Just like there are no deeper meanings to any other plot devices. Their sole purpose it so shine some light onto another, more important thing, story or character.
And in this case, that character is Aziraphale. Or more so Aziraphale's choices and his relationship with and belief in God and Heaven. The Flaming Sword (or more so Aziraphale's giving-away of it) is the first way of showing us that Aziraphale:
doesn't always aka pretty much never obey God's will (even all the way back in The Beginning),
will lie to God about disobeying Her
and possibly, just like Crowley joked about, was the one who by trying to do a Good Thing, accidentally gave away something that would later somehow become a literal War weapon, lmao
It also tells us that:
God apparently doesn't always care or cast them out of Heaven when an angel actively disobeys and lies to Her. Or, for all we know, Aziraphale giving the sword away and not admitting to it was somehow part of Her Ineffable Plan anyway.
Heaven is apparently absolutely useless at keeping track of its very few ethereal belongings. That's what you get for outsourcing work, you capitalists.
Right at The End, the sword returns to its owner who had it right in The Beginning too: Aziraphale. And not just that: It actually ends up saving the humans. For the second time. First all the way back in Eden, when it was just Adam and Eve. And now, 6000 years later, at what would have been the end of the World. Very poetic, *wipes away tear*
So yeah, there you go. That's the big revelation I have come to. Would I have preferred to uncover yet another sneaky Gaimanian easter egg just so I could wave it in your face like some sort of a puzzle solved at a scavenger hunt?
Sure.
But hey, sometimes flaming sword plot devices are just that. And I'll make my peace (or War?) with it.
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