#god i am a goddamn loser for these two

[xunkun]

reikao date but they’re just at home

i came up with a bunch of stuff on a long ass car ride this is just some

//

rooftop stargazing and wow rei looks so good under the moonlight and the stars

kaoru cooks most of the time

rei can actually cook perfectly fine, good at it even, but he prefers kaoru cooking so he just pretends to be a wet rag that cant peel potatoes

if kaoru is tired though rei will do it

kaoru does like cooking for rei and rei likes kaoru and his cooking so it works

on days rei decides to stop being a baby about holding a knife he will cook with kaoru

cooking together in the same kitchen works because yaoi telepathy

if they watch a movie usually kaoru picks cuz hes watched his fair share of movies from past dates

rei lives under a rock

i think for karaoke nights theyd duet songs together

sometimes they sing undead songs or other songs from other units

serenade competition where they “try to serenade each other” but it rarely gets competitive and so its just one of them singing love songs while the other sits and watches like a lovestruck fool

dancing i think

jazz dancing rei

rei teaches kaoru how to waltz maybe

i just want them to be holding each other and stuff as rei and kaoru crash into chairs the coffee table and other things

[minnieposting]

IM SSOOOO SSIIIIIICCKKKKKKKDKSKSKAMAKSX

[theemporium]

Hey love! Could i get a green-eyed mojito with Jack Hughes. 💚💚 “Are you jealous?” “No, I’m not!” “Oh, you really are jealous! Wait, why would you be jealous?” for the prompt. Maybe jack is a mutual friend/ bff and you didn’t understand why he had such a vested interest in the other guys flirting with you until a particular one makes his secret spill. Thank you always! 💚💚💚

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

26. “Are you jealous?” “No, I’m not!” “Oh, you really are jealous! Wait, why would you be jealous?”

.

“You’re not actually considering going on a second date with him, are you?” 

You didn’t meet your best friend’s eyes, glancing at your open wardrobe with furrowed brows. “I mean, why not?” 

“Why not?” Jack repeated incredulously, looking at you from his spot on your bed like you had grown two heads. “The date was a disaster!” 

“It was hardly a disaster,” you scoffed, glancing over your shoulder to where the boy was staring at you with narrowed eyes. “I’ve been on far worse dates.”

“He was twenty minutes late,” Jack commented.

“There was a lot of traffic.” 

“He tried to order for you.”

“He was just trying to be nice.”

“He made you pay for the dinner!”

“He forgot his wallet in the car!” 

“Dude,” Jack groaned, falling back on your bed with a soft thump. “We are in an era of Apple Pay, that shit doesn’t slide anymore.”

“And like I said, I have been on far worse dates and you know that,” you pointed out as you turned your attention back to your wardrobe, missing the way Jack’s expression soured at your words. “Plus, it’s just a date. No big deal. It’s not like I’m marrying the guy.” 

“Thank god for that,” Jack grumbled under his breath.

“Hm?” 

“Nothing!” Jack called out with faux cheeriness. 

You let out a sigh, abandoning your attempt at finding an outfit for said date and making your way towards the bed. You crawled up the bed, kneeling beside him as you poked his side until he turned to look at you. 

“What’s your deal?” You questioned him bluntly. 

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Just think you can do better than this loser, that’s all.” 

You stared at him for a moment, noting the way he failed to meet your eyes as he spoke and instead chose to fiddle with the hem of his shirt—almost like he was nervous. Your eyes widened slightly in realisation. 

“Are you jealous?” 

Jack instantly scoffed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not!”

“Oh, you really are jealous!” You laughed, looking far too gleeful at your discovery before faltering a little. “Wait, why would you be jealous?” 

Jack shot you a look. “Are you really going to make me say it out loud?” 

You shot him a look back. “Do you want me to go out on this date?” 

His shoulders deflated, a pink tint to his cheeks as he gave in. “I like you,” he murmured out, his voice soft and unsure and so unlike the Jack you knew. “Like, as in more than a friend.”

Your smile widened as you processed his words before sliding off the bed, heading back towards your wardrobe.

“I—” Jack spluttered as he sat up quickly. “Are you seriously going out with him after all that?” 

“I am going on a date, just not with him,” you corrected, glancing over your shoulder to give him a knowing look. “What do you feel like tonight? Chinese? Italian? Mexican?” 

Jack blinked. “I-I’m your date?” 

“Ideally.” 

“Good,” he puffed his chest out a little. “Get ready for the best goddamn date of your life. You don’t even know what you’ve been missing.”

.

[severeheroineaddiction]

Anybody else notice how in the songs Nerdy Prudes / Dirty Dudes Must Die, Max and Grace are both singing about saving the world in parallel demented ways?

“You think I seek revenge?” / “You think I’d stop with him?” = they both could sing the same line here and it would make sense in their own song

Max says he “could give two shits” that the nerds “defiled my body” / Grace implies that her “being chaste” was part of a plan and giving up her chastity (which her family clearly views as defilement) was not a big deal

“I’m on a new crusade” / “I’m the girl you thought you knew” = their characters, and others’ perceptions of them, have changed dramatically since the story began

Both have the ensemble in the background at the end, singing and emptily looking on as the Max/Grace loses their goddamn mind - but in DDMD, they do that part twice and walk forward (as if warning the audience? Who Grace is pointing at threateningly and turns on at the end, unlike Max focused on Richie) and end with the “darkness will spare my soul” tag (btw Max said he brings light to darkness during one of his god complex monologues…so spare them from him too?)

Notable difference: Unlike Max, Grace is never worried about “will you pray for me” - just “who will pray for you?”

You probably caught this but in both, the piano plays the Hatchet Town riff at the end, and the “I’m not a loser” section quotes the lyrics/melody from “Cool As I Think I Am”

HYAAAHYAHA MWAH HAH evil cackles

Anyways I’m obsessed, these 2 assholes are so compelling, props to Angela and Will for their acting and singing, and JEFF BLIM YOU ARE A GENIUS

[fancy-fangs]

I love shipping in JRWI especially because somehow they keep creating the most gut wrenching romantic plot lines you have ever seen, without even trying.

We have FNC, literally the sun and the moon, the gods chosen one and a bastard pirate. The symbolism is right there and the further their journey goes the more tragic it becomes. They are best friends and one of them will have to save the world. They were both raised to be weapons, but all they want to do is hold each other. "I would fight the world for you" "I wouldn't want you to"

Angelstone, the love story of all. Yes EP 11 is funny, but goddamn they ripped my heart out starting episode two. Two god slayers, one of them meant to take the gods place, the other not meant for anything at all. The powerful demigod and a loser of a man. They're about humanity and devotion in a way that goes beyond religion. Hozier is jealous of what they have. Their entire story is about "whats god to your love? What can all the power in the world give me that I don't have sitting by your side?"

(I go crazy over Angelstone do not test me I have religious trauma)

And yes I am bringing Ghostknife into this because fuck you I'm the William wisp guy how could I not? The guy who never belonged and the guy from another world? Just teenagers finding comfort in each other during the worst? Movie nights and shared homework. Ten months in a bombed shelter that used to be your home. "I don't know who I am but I feel it when I look in your eyes" "you're my best friend, I wish the world was easy and I wish I could kiss you". Having an unrequited crush on your best friend but you'll never get over it because how could you after everything you've been through.

[yakumtsaki]

AND WE'RE BACK. My cancerous thyroid might have briefly cucked me, but now I'm about to cuck every goddamn semi-incestuous couple in this house. Isn't that right, Baby?

-CAWK CAWK

Exactly! Baby here is a parrot that Meadow rolled the want for and I was like sure, what problems could a parrot possibly cause?

-OPEN THIS DOOR. SOMEONE OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME. OPEN IT RIGHT NOW OPEN IT OPEN IT

Um it should open automatically for you wtf?

-OPEN THE DOOR, MAMMAL TRASH, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Ok Baby seriously why won't the doors open for you?

-I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL STAY HERE AND PREVENT EVERYONE FROM GOING TO CLASS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE OTHER DOOR

Alright then, clearly there's only one solution to this..

Perfection.

-Um, what happened to the door?

-IT ASKED TOO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. OUT OF THE WAY, HUMMIE SCUM

Well, Baby was clearly a much needed addition to this house. Now, to the main event: an end to the Year of Sin!

NOP, NEVERMIND, SPOKE TOO SOON, MUST DO THIS INSTEAD. We invite Good Witch over for Spice and she asks to bring a friend and it's FUCKING MALCOLM. LMAO. I simply have to, I can't resist-

-Well well well, if it isn't the famous Malcolm Landgraab IV, the finest intergenerational concubine the world has ever seen!

-Huh?

-You were too much of a straggot to date my father, but I know you won't be able to resist the charms of the much better looking son!

-What?

-God, the conversation is just crackling with sexual tension!

-So, Malc, I believe we should make out. Thoughts?

-Where are those fucking butterflies coming from?

-Your stomach? ;)

No, they're from the Good Witch, my bad y'all.

After many, MANY hours of talking, Malcolm finally accepts a lame wolf whistle-

-but our efforts are interrupted by Felina returning from class. WILL YOU GIVE IT A FUCKING REST FOR ONE DAY

-NEVER

-Sorry kid, but if Malcolm Landgraab is to ever consider bisexuality, it will be for someone who can beat up his own sister.

Wtf kinda rule is that you freak?? You know what, just gtfo-

-NO. Stay here, Malcolm, I'd like to hear stories about you and great-great grandma Victoria!

-Oh wow, now that was a real woman. She could hold her liquor, she could whore around, she could beat up anyone.. No man could ask for anyone more feminine!

You are so right, Malcolm, the only one to ever do it better was Long John Silver!

Ok seriously Barth is there a plan here, why are we wasting valuable time on platonic interactions with this loser?

-I just have a feeling true love will prevail!

What are you even talking about-

UM PWND @ ME WTF. ACR DOES IT AGAIN WITH LITERAL NEGATIVE CHEMISTRY LOL

OH FUCK YES TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Two Babies with one stone if you will!

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Ya ok GROSS but finally we can put this behind us, 1 down, 200 more to go. Cyan go back to your other cousin-lover while you still can because I'm breaking you up too!

-Don't have to tell me twice!

Ugh.

-Hmmm...

What now, Barth.

-Nothing, I just keep forgetting I actually have two eyes.

Ya, you and me both.

-But now that I possess peripheral vision, I see there's so much to be done in this house.

You have set yourself on fire multiple times, please stop with the household tasks, that's why we have a butler.

-But he never actually does anything!

Yes well, his main job is to answer the door and we no longer have one, but it's still money well spent.

-WELL I WILL FIX THE DISHWASHER OR DIE TRYING

-BARTH NO I STILL LOVE YOU

-FUCK YOU SUNSET, YOU BROKE MY HEART BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE'S NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU

Barth no offense but I think I'm ready for your next electrocution to take you out.

-As am I!

-And I!

-GETTING SLAPPED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY MENTAL HEALTH HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

You could stop being Satan incarnate?

-No, there has to be a better way!

-How about I sleep with the boyfriend of the only cousin in this house who doesn't already hate me?

Yes, absolutely, and please take another crack at fixing the dishwasher when you're done.

[hucowboyification]

Poolverine and 10 please?

10- "We're really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?"

It'd been an easy job. Get in, stab, claw, and shoot all the fuckers in the warehouse to death, get out. No one was left alive; not even the cleaning crew.

Making a quick getaway wasnt strictly necessary; given how blood-soaked they both were, it probably would've made them more suspicious. But the surrounding area had been terrorized by that group for so long that everyone turned a blind eye to the two mutants booking it down shaded alleyways, and the adrenaline made for great foreplay, so they ran anyways.

Logan pulled Wade down an alleyway, around a corner, and then into a dead end, where a brick building towered over everything.

Deep scratch marks in sets of threes littered the face of the building; hundreds, if not thousands of sets, some clearly much older than the several months Logan had been living in this universe.

"Climb," Logan instructed, lacking anything in the way of real urgency. It was made even less urgent by Logan tugging Wade's mask off and pressing him briefly to the brick wall for a deep, but surprisingly gentle kiss.

Once he was released, Wade did as he was asked. Fortunately, Logan had the forethought to make sure that people with normal hands could get to the roof, though just barely; it was a tough climb, even for Wade, and he had to question if it was really the only way up onto the roof, or if Logan just wanted to watch his ass as he made his way up tedious hand-and-foot-holds.

"Used to love coming up here," Logan sighed once they'd both reached the roof, leaning shoulder-to-shoulder against a boarded-up maintenance entrance. "Quiet. Good views. Hard to climb for most people. Back... back where I'm from, it got torn down years ago."

Wade, using the little good sense he had, didn't pry or crack a joke. He didn't particularly feel like regenerating any limbs tonight, thank you very much.

"But, anyways," Logan continued, giving Wade a sharp-toothed grin. "Thought it'd be a good place to bring you to catch our breath after a job. Be nice to spend an evening together without worrying about waking anyone up."

"Wait, do you mean-" he leaned in close, exaggeratedly whisper-shouting in Logan's ear- "S-E-X?"

"Yes, you goddamn loser, I mean fucking." Logan snorted, bumping his forehead against Wade's shoulder. "Up here, alone, under the stars."

"Aww, Wolvie, that's so romantic! We're really going to fuck here?" Wade gasped in mock surprise, bringing his hands to his face. "What if someone sees us?"

The twitching of Logan's lips gave away his attempts so suppress a laugh. "Who the fuck would see us, moron? It's the middle of the night, this is an abandoned building, and we'd see if anyone came on a nearby roof." Then he grinned. "Besides, what do you care? I always thought you'd be an exhibitionist."

"Oh, I am an exhibitionist, peanut, but you never know. There are cameras everywhere these days.

With a brief, disparaging "Jesus Christ, Wade", Logan dropped to his knees, nuzzling gently at Wade's already hard cock under his suit.

Then, the claws came out, moving towards the fabric of Wade's pants, and-

"Hey, no, no, no! Soft paws!" Wade shouted, swatting Logan's hands away and getting his fingers quite scratched up in the process. "I'm not sewing this up again! God, the knife hands are hot, but can you use your fingers to unzip me like a normal fucking person for once?"

Reluctantly, Logan did as ordered, sheathing his claws and unzipping his pants without ripping them (and Wade's skin, though that was of less concern) to shreds.

If there were cameras around (and of course there were- whatever the dicks at the TVA said, he's the main character here), they'd be getting quite a show.

Send me an ask with a number and a ship!

[armoredsuperheavy]

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review

I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.

Contains plenty of spoilers.

God bless Wardrobe

OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.

From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.

He gets as much screen time as He-Man.

Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP

We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.

Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.

The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?

The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)

The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.

Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.

(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)

Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.

Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!

Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.

Look closer. Fierce!

There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.

Blade definitely deserved more screen time

Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.

So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.

This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school

Note the gigantic brown eye.

Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.

He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.

Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?

Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.

The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.

Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.

Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.

Werk tho.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole

The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.

They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.

Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Want some more?

Nice fanart

Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon

The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023

[mockingnerd]

Say It, Loser: A Griddlehark Playlist That Goes a Little Hard Hello I am sharing this little beast that’s been rattling around my head for a while!! I listen to metal and punk rock almost exclusively and am also a gay nerd so I kept stumbling across stuff that follows their dynamic chronologically through the first two books (and then there’s a “bonus” at the end). Gorgeous cover art by @softbrambles​ used with permission. Tracklist and favourite lyrics below!

1. Death To All But Us! | Blood Command Now we have to do what I say Go where I may or be gone

2. Big Shot | IRONTOM I want your fingerprints all over me Cause if they find me dead they should know who it be

3. Do What You Want | Electric Enemy Galvanisе every part of me whеnever you want You're going to do what you want

4. Wake the Dead | Fit For Rivals Wake the dead, it's time to break down Follow me until, until we waste away

5. Stunner | World War Me (this is my peak griddlehark song, i could put literally every line here) Yeah, I'm a bit of a psycho baby I'm my own worst enemy You keep me lit like a lightbulb feeding off the pain and misery Cause' you were a bad bitch I was a savage Livin' off our own extremities So wе tick like a time bomb set to dеtonate eventually Little did I know you were gonna get the best of me Goddamn!

6. Unspun | Jackie It might be suicide To mix your blood and mine But call me crazy I feel it lately You’re my new favourite thing

7. Misery | Dope, Drama Club I'd kill myself or anyone else for you

8. Blind and Frozen | Beast in Black God, I miss you like hell I was wrong, I can tell For the heart can be blind and frozen

9. Trust Fall | Pinkshift I dug a deep hole to bury you, oh

10. Liar | Papa Roach Take my secrets down to the water 'Cause I can't keep them down any longer I swear to God but he knows that I'm lying Liar, liar your world's on fire

11. Talk to Me | Scarlett O’Hara Are you still around? I can feel the air getting heavy I’ll sit on the ground Beside your hollow soul Sharing your world but I get the feeling that you got nowhere to go Losing the fight inside, locked inside your mind

12. Cynosure | In Flames Who’s at the wheel? Say a word, say anything, I will be healed Who’s at the wheel? Say a word, say something that will make it real

13. Back From the Dead | Royal Republic You, you can bring me back from the dead You just gotta use your pretty head

*BONUS Kiriona song because NtN brought the pain: 14. Exit Wound | Otherwise I'm not thinking this through Living my life like an exit wound Blow back, blown out Throwback, thrown out No more scars left to hide Thrill is gone, still in the firefight

[static-errorcode]

part two

featuring

@the-random-creechur, me, @darkleafblack, @toffeechad, @bobateablue, @sleepypillowynight, @demondevilevil, @smoken-bagel, @phobiiii, @coolkiwiyummy, @woodrocko

Pillowy: HELP! I TOLD DEMON I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phobiii, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Static: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

Beanie: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.

Phobiii: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Beanie: You have to teach Bagel how to drive.

Phobiii: ...put the band-aid back on.

Demon: Happy birthday Pillowy! I'm your gift!

Pillowy, whispering to Slimebottle : Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

Pillowy: Help! I’m drowning!

Phobiii: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Pillowy: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

*While the Squad is in a battle*

Slimebottle , trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Static: Take it back now y'all!

Pillowy: What's two plus two?

Slimebottle : Math.

Pillowy: ...I will accept that answer.

Demon: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Bagel: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Demon, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Bagel: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Static: You're pathetic!

Nightmare berry: You're pathetic-er!

Kiwi : You're both losers.

Bagel: Good morning!

Bobatea, checking their watch: Correct.

Bobatea: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Pillowy's birthday invitations.

Static: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Bobatea: "Pillowy's birthday".

Static: So, what do they say instead?

Bobatea: "Pillowy’s bi".

Static:

Static: Works out either way.

Bobatea, texting Static: Static! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Static: Where are you?

Bobatea: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Static: I'll call Demon. Demon, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Static: Where's Bobatea? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Demon: Demon? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Demon: Demon: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Demon: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Bobatea: WHO ARE YOU!?

Bagel: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Slimebottle : Strong.

Beanie: Weak.

Phobiii: An idiot, is what your are.

Static: Can we go out to get icecream?

Phobiii: Did you ask Slimebottle ?

Static: They said no.

Phobiii: Then why did you ask me?

Static: They're not the boss of you.

Phobiii, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Phobiii: *is visibly upset*

Pillowy: Phobiii, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Pillowy: Did you wash the dishes?

Demon: I thought you wanted to do that...

Pillowy: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Phobiii, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?

Pillowy: Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?

Pillowy: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Blue is not a flavor!

Pillowy: BLUE FLAVOR!

Bobatea to Slimebottle : Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Bobatea: What are you doing?

Slimebottle , trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Bagel: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Beanie:

Beanie: Why are you eating dirt?

Bagel: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Mp: Oh my Static.

Nightmare berry: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?

Mp: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

Static: Beanie is so...

Kiwi : Annoying?

Slimebottle : Cute? Bagel: Funny?

Demon: Weird?

Static: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!

Slimebottle : Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Pillowy: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

Mp: What is wrong with you?

Pillowy: Many, many things...

Pillowy: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Demon: Phobiii doesn’t look very happy.

Beanie: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Pillowy: But that place is haunted.

Nightmare berry: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Pillowy, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

The end

[dtmsrpfcringe]

You really are a dumb fuck, aren't you? You repeated exactly what I said, then told me I was wrong for saying what you parroted back to me. Living in your brain must be fucking insufferable.

Your own words were that they did not know each other ten years ago. Incorrect.

They have both said that they have known each other socially (i.e., friends) since 2001. They did not become close until they were in Good Omens. Yes, that is what I said. That's what you agreed to after I corrected your initial false statement. My god, little wonder you think this blog is a good idea when these are your thought processes.

Nothing else you said makes the slightest bit of sense. I can't even decipher the point of that word salad, and I am a teacher. Why would Michael use the names of the characters when he is talking about the show that the characters are in? What? You are reaching so hard that it is comical.

You are a class act making jokes about a congenital defect that kills newborn infants. Is that the kind of thing the mother of a newborn infant who claims to be a nurse would do? We have established that you are lying about both of those things. You are just an awful person. When it comes down to the real point of this blog, you don't care about the greater good of the fandom. You only want attention. You are shouting about a tiny corner of Tumblr that draws no attention to itself. You bring attention to it. You make it loud. Even when it disappears, you keep bringing it back. What's the real point here? You want attention for yourself. You want to be the hero in a war that doesn't exist.

Maybe you don't ship the hairband. Maybe you just have bad taste in music? I don't care. Either way, you have no place calling out anyone when you support those losers. They are the epitome of the scum of society. Actual misogynists. One of them even murdered someone while driving drunk. That is just the tip of the iceberg. But someone no one knows said something mean about Georgia Tennant on Tumblr? Someone suggests that two men who keep talking about having sex and being in love might be in love. Better clutch your pearls over that! Pathetic.

bae that isn’t what you said. You said they’ve been friends for almost 25 years. Do you write things and just fucking forget them? Or can you just not stop lying?

I can’t imagine being a teacher and just constantly being so goddamn wrong, I bet your students can’t stand you.

also saying you don’t have a brain isn’t making fun of a congenital defect babe. I’m neither lying about being a mom or healthcare professional. Most people I talk to pretty regularly here have seen my baby, and it would be pretty hard work to have an entire baby to…fake being a mom??? I’m not going to put my baby’s face on here to prove to someone like you that she’s real, and frankly I think it’s a little strange you wanna see that bad babe. Like? Your obsession with an internet stranger’s newborn (i guess infant now omfg) is kinda creepy.

As for my health certification, you don’t know shit actually. I busted my ass in high school to be licensed because of the people who helped me as a kid. Also I’m not a nurse😉 you are right about that. There’s more to healthcare than your RN and MDs lol. You seem like you’d yell at underpaid healthcare workers in the worst way possible.

you obviously did understand, but didn’t want to lick your wounds and slink into the corner.

btw this group absolutely does draw attention to yourself. I found these people by looking for cute Georgia and Anna stuff and finding hate and misogyny spread about them. As for Motley Crue, I hardly listen to them anymore, if literally ever. I haven’t posted anything about them in over a year and that is why I removed 2000 of my followers on instagram and made it private to have a personal acc. I just never bothered changing the username lol. So try again I guess.

Anyways here’s my daily reminder to you that David and Michael would be disgusted with you. Hope you have the day you deserve!

Keep sending these I think we’re falling in love boo🚨🔵🚨🔵

[tennisarchives]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

[autisticlancemcclain]

part one

part two

———

Lance has never had someone be so… protective of him.

His older sisters were protective, of course. But they were all protecting the same secret. And Lance and his sisters are all pretty close in age, so youngest or no, he wasn’t really the baby of the family unless he was being teased. They mostly spent their time showing how much they loved each other by seeing just how far they could push until they went insane. And as much as Lance doesn’t miss Maria taunting him about every crush he’s ever had, or Lucía cutting off the power while he’s in the washroom, or Aleja stealing all his lotions, or even Ines’ regular tackles down the hallway, he does miss them, and the way they never hesitated to cover for each other.

Keith, though, is different.

Keith has no stake in Lance’s secret. If anything, it only makes life harder for him. But he’s determined to do whatever he can to make sure Lance feels safe, and it’s… different. A new feeling.

God, Lance is so glad they’re finally friends. Even, of course, if being friends means he has to answer all of Keith’s dumbass, cryptid-obsessed questions.

“Do you ever want to eat people?”

Exhibit A.

Lance glares at the dumbass in question, flicking his tail so he gets pelted with a high-pressured splash of pool water.

“Only annoying boys with mullets who ask a lot of stupid questions,” he snarks, once Keith has stopped sputtering long enough to hear him.

“You got water up my nose,” Keith complains, voice nasally because of all the water that was presumably shoved through his nostrils, and Lance smiles smugly.

“Serves you right.”

“I was just asking a question!”

“Yeah, a stupid question. Ask me intelligent questions, or sit in ignorance. God, it’s so tiring being the smartest person in the room all the time.”

“…Right,” Keith says drily. “I bow to you, Mr. Ten Thousand Is A Thousand Plus Ten.”

“Fuck off! That was a translation issue!”

“It was not. You had a brain fart. Admit it.”

“Absolutely not. Only one of us has a skull that’s full of hot air, and it’s certainly not me.”

“Is so.”

“Is not.”

“Is so.”

“Is not.”

“Is s —”

Lance tenses his tail again, narrowing his eyes. “Keith, I swear to God, if you don’t cut that shit out I am going to drown you for real.”

“See! Look at that! Murderous tendencies! My eating people question was totally valid!”

Lance rolls his eyes, and then opens his mouth as wide as it will go so Keith can see his teeth.

“See?” he asks, voice muffled over the stretch of his mouth. “No fangs. I told you, my upper body pretty much stays the same. I mean, I get a pretty intense craving for sushi every once in a while, but I don’t want to eat people. I couldn’t if I tried, I don’t have the teeth for it.”

Keith shrugs, stubborn as a goddamn ox. “I mean, just ‘cause you don’t have fangs doesn’t mean you don’t eat people. Cannibals eat people with regular teeth.”

“Yeah, regular teeth and knives, dumbass.”

“…Alright. Touché. So you don’t eat people.”

Lance flicks his tail to splash Keith again, but it’s much gentler.

Because he is a mature adult, and Keith is a dorky loser.

“Yeah, yeah. Now ask me a smart question or quit asking questions and let me try and catapult you across the pool. I had the angle wrong last time, I think if I sit with my back to the wall I can —”

“I have another question,” Keith says loudly, likely thinking of the last time they attempted a human catapult, which makes Lance smirk.

Pussy. Just ‘cause he went flying and nearly hit the ceiling last time doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try again.

For science, obviously. Not because Lance thinks Keith screaming is hilarious or anything.

(God, maybe he did turn into a siren. Was he always this sadistic? What’s with him obsessing over pressing Keith’s buttons all the time? It’s like he wants Keith to make that stupid face he gets when he’s all concentrated and cocky, with his narrowed eyes and haughty smirk and big attitude. That face used to piss him the hell off, he wonders why he’s so dead set on seeing it, now. Weird.)

“Does it hurt, when you transform? ‘Cause you always look a little pinched when you finally dry out.”

Lance blinks.

He got what he fuckin’ asked for, he supposes, ‘cause that’s a complicated question if he’s ever heard one. And it’s not like Keith is asking maliciously, of course. They don’t really do malicious, anymore, and besides, Keith has that soft and concerned look on his face that always makes Lance’s chest feel constricted.

(He’s felt so strange around Keith, lately. It must be because there’s that strange level of trust between them, now, because of how much Lance is relying on Keith to protect him and how seriously Keith takes that role.)

“The short answer is not technically,” Lance says after a moment.

“And the long answer?”

“You sure you want to hear me rambling about it?”

Keith shrugs, face still all soft and gooey or whatever. “Wouldn’t’ve asked if I didn’t.”

“Didn’t Pidge ban you from using triple contractions, you country fucking bumpkin?”

“First of all, Pidge ain’t here, and second of all, you’re deflecting.”

Lance holds his hands up in surrender, because unfortunately Keith is correct (which is Lance’s least favourite sentence).

“Alright, alright.”

He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, the air between them growing tense and serious as Lance’s expression clouds. Keith waits patiently, letting Lance think of what he needs to say without interruptions.

(Yet another thing they’ve started to do a lot, lately. Lance has found that Keith is a great listener, and even more shockingly, Lance is also kind of a good listener. He didn’t think he would be, but he’s found himself working hard to become one. He likes it when Keith opens up to him.)

“We got transformed when I was eight. I’ve been a mermaid longer than I’ve been a real human. Or, well, a full human, I guess? Whatever. Anyways. I’ve been like this longer than I haven’t.

“Before that, though, I can remember a sort of… obsession, with the ocean. Beyond what I think was normal. And not just, like, a lot of geeky feelings about marine biology. I definitely have those —”

Keith grins teasingly. “Believe me, I know.”

“— but even as a kid, I can remember thinking that the ocean felt like home. I specifically remember this one time when I got the flu and was stuck in bed for a week, and I sobbed relentlessly after the first few days because it was the first time I was really away from the ocean for more than a day or two and I felt homesick. I remember crying to my mother that I just wanted to go home, even though I was sitting in the room I’d lived in my whole life.

“After the transformation, that — loneliness, I guess, that longing got stronger. It’s not something I obsessed over twenty four seven, or anything, but on the rare days I went too long without going to the beach I felt restless. Antsy.”

“How come you went to the Garrison, then? Not that I don’t get it — you’re a great pilot — but, I don’t know. Why’d you go so far away from home if you knew it would hurt so bad?”

Ignoring the ridiculous and stupid flush to his cheeks that came immediately upon hearing Keith of all people — Keith, the greatest pilot of their generation — say he’s a great pilot, Lance shrugs.

“I didn’t know, I guess. I mean, I knew I’d get homesick, but I’d always felt a pull to the stars just as much as I felt a pull to the sea. I figured it would kind of even out, or something. But it didn’t. And I didn’t have anywhere to safely transform, either, which made it a million times worse.”

“Does it hurt? If you go too long without transforming?”

“It’s not like, a physical pain, or anything, but you know that feeling you get when you’re trapped in a car or a classroom or something for too long and you feel like you’re going to explode if you don’t jump out the window immediately?”

“Yikes, yeah. How long did you feel so stuck?”

“I made it a month before I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked a random weekend and took a ten-hour bus to this water-filled sinkhole a few cities away. It was not technically accessible to the public, but I was so desperate that I just climbed my way down the rocky walls and prayed I wouldn’t fall and die.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah. But the relief I felt when I finally got in… holy shit. A truly religious experience.”

“I can imagine,” Keith says quietly. “Is that why you look so sad, when you dry off? Wistful?”

“Partially. It’s not that I would rather be permanently a mermaid or anything — I really wouldn’t, it’s honestly kind of a pain in the ass — there’s a kind of raw freedom, to swimming through the open ocean. I always miss it when I’m dry. It makes me miss my family, too.”

That last sentence hangs between them, heavy. Lance keeps his gaze trained on his pruning fingers, swallowing back the lump in his throat. Being able to share his secret with someone, swim around the pool, play in the water — it’s all great, sure, but it’s not the same. He misses being able to let loose, swim as far and fast as he can, staying underwater until his lungs burn and he absolutely has to surface. He can’t do that, anymore, not even in summers, and it sucks.

“Hey.”

Lance startles at Keith’s voice. When he looks up to face him, he almost does a double take — Keith’s got his game face on, indigo eyes narrowed and determined, 100% focused on Lance.

It’s — overwhelming, is what it is. The intensity of the stare, and the fact that Keith’s attention — which he’s always wanted, always craved, even if he had to invent a rivalry to get it — makes something squirm in Lance’s stomach, makes his palms sweat and face flush.

Like a prey animal, or something.

“You’re gonna swim in the ocean again,” Keith promises. “I can’t — I can’t get you your family back, not yet, but I can — I’ll take you out to an ocean, okay? I’ll find a way. Soon.”

Keith holds his gaze, eyes steady and increasingly intense, so sincere Lance can feel a shiver run up his spine.

“Okay,” he says, and his voice cracks so many times that it makes them both laugh immediately, and the tension breaks.

“…If I let you try the catapult again, do you promise to keep my immediate safety in mind?”

“Nope!”

[bassettmemes]

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 2/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), eating disorders, body image, and negative self-esteem. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

LOGICAL.

"Master manipulator, god, you're so good at what you do."

"Come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you."

"Hear all the rumors lately that you always denied."

"I fell for you like water falls from the February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried."

"You convinced me it was all in my mind."

"Now you got me thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life."

"If rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changin' you is possible."

"Love is never logical."

"You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see the way it all unraveled."

"All the things you did to me, ou lied, you lied, you lied."

"The sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said. I'm sure that girl is really your friend."

"Lovin' you is lovin' every argument you held over my head."

"You brought up the girls you could have instead

"You said I was too young, I was too soft, can't take a joke, can't get you off."

"I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible."

"I know I could've stopped it all, God, why didn't I stop it all?"

GET HIM BACK!

"I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring."

"He argued with me about everything."

"He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye."

"He said he's six-foot-two and I'm like, "Dude, nice try"."

"But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance."

"When he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France."

"So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend."

"Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down."

"I write him all these letters, then I throw them in the trash, 'cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh."

"I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "send", I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends, because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do."

"He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth."

"When I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'."

"I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him."

"I wanna get him back. I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad."

"'Cause then again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad."

"I want sweet revenge, and I want him again."

"I wanna key his car."

"I wanna make him lunch."

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up."

" I wanna kiss his face... with an uppercut."

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks."

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING.

"I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you like a month, and then you kissed some girl from high school."

"I stayed in bed for like a week when you said space was what you need."

"I waited by my phone like a goddamn fool."

"Now it don't mean a thing. God, love's fucking embarrassing."

"Just watch as I crucify myself for some weird second string loser who's not worth mentionin'."

"My God, love's embarrassing as hell."

"I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy."

"My God, how could I be so stupid? You found a new version of me, and I damn near started World War III."

"Jesus, what was I even doing?"

"I placed my bets and it's not worth anything."

THE GRUDGE.

"I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May."

"One phone call from you and my entire world was changed."

"Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers."

"You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers."

"I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it."

"My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge."

"I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough."

"I try to be tough, but I wanna scream. How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

"I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."

"The arguments that I have won against you in my head in the shower, in the car and in the mirror before bed."

"Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone and I make you feel so guilty."

"I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry."

"I try to understand why you would do this all to me."

"You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy."

"I know in my heart hurt people hurt people."

"We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal."

"Do you think I deserved it all?"

"Your flower's filled with vitriol, you built me up to watch me fall

"You have everything and you still want more."

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me."

"I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet."

PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY.

"Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face."

"I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays."

"Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm."

"There's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong."

"When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same, 'cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyways."

"You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war."

"Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure."

"I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see. It's on the posters on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines. It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed. It's all around, it's all the time and I don't know why I even try."

"I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy."

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life."

"None of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again."

TEENAGE DREAM.

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?"

"When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?"

"When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me. Got your whole life ahead of you, you're only nineteen."

"I fear that they already got all the best parts of me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream."

"When does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?"

"When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?"

"When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?"

"Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?"

[umemiyan]

Dahlia I MUST hear about the Dahlia x Katsuki ultimate sibling rivalry Cuban Missile Crisis UFC Fight Night WW3 relationship please it is imperative to my health

LEIGH!!!!!!!! omg thank u for asking. it's wild and i love it. actually rather reminiscent of how he acts with his mom in canon lol

although i am introverted and relatively reserved in many situations by nature, i can also be very combative when people push my buttons, especially my family. sometimes i look and feel like the crazy bitch because a lot of people in my family are more prone to keeping shit to themselves and pretending like everything is fine in order to avoid direct conflict with each other. but not me. anyways LOL

we know how katsuki is. mf is not holding anything back. and neither am i. it's a pissing match honestly between two people who are quick to irritation/anger and refuse to back down. if we were in the same household….. any of the peace-lovers in the family would be so disturbed lmfao

regular screaming battles would ensue. for example:

me: "SHUT UP YOU'RE BEING TOO FUCKING LOUD ASSHOLE!!!"

kat: "FUCK YOU YOU'RE BEING TOO LOUD STUPID ASS!!!"

me: "🖕🏻🖕🏻 I'M ONLY BEING LOUD BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING LOUD YOU FUCKING DICKWEED!!!"

kat: "GO CRY ABOUT IT AND SHOVE A FUCKING DICK IN YOUR EARS YOU SENSITIVE LOSER!!!"

*there may be some punching*

and god help everyone if we happened to have similar quirks….

however 3 hours later we're playing video games or something together. and probably end up yelling again. but we're actually a decent team when he plays nice and doesn't try to go off on his own and be a goddamn ego monster

we're both clean freaks too. we can actually get along while cleaning because we both want things done in basically the same way

it's also the sort of relationship where we'd be like "no way would i save your lame bitch loser ass if you got into trouble. you probably deserve it."

but. we would absolutely save each other's lame bitch loser asses

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo (Part II)

LOGICAL

God, you're so good at what you do.

I'd put myself through hell for you.

I fell for you like water falls from the February sky.

No, I couldn't get out if I tried.

It was all in my mind.

I'm the love of your life.

No, love is never logical.

You built a giant castle with walls so high I couldn't see.

And all the things you did to me...

The sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said.

I'm sure that girl is really your friend.

Our problems are all solvable.

Loving you is loving every argument you held over my head.

You brought up the girls you could have instead.

Said I was too young, I was too soft.

Said I can't take a joke, can't get you off

Oh, why do I do this?

I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible.

I know I could've stopped it all.

God, why didn't I stop it all?

GET HIM BACK!

I met a guy in the summer, and I left him in the spring.

He argued with me about everything.

He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye.

He said he's six-foot-two, and I'm like, "Dude, nice try".

He was so much fun.

He had such weird friends.

He would take us out to parties, and the night would never end

When hе said something wrong, he'd just fly me to Francе.

I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed.

I remember every time he made a pass on my friend.

Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down.

I wanna get him back.

I wanna make him really jealous.

I wanna make him feel bad.

I really miss him, and it makes me real sad.

I want sweet revenge.

I write him all these letters.

I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh.

Everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do.

He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth.

When I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'.

I am my father's daughter.

Maybe I could fix him.

I wanna key his ca.

I wanna make him lunch.

I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up.

Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut.

I wanna meet his mom just to tell her her son sucks.

I'll get him back.

I'm gonna get him so good, he's not even gonna know what hit him.

He's gonna love me and hate me at the same time.

Get him back, girl.

You better get him back!

I got him really good.

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING

I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you, like, a month.

Then you kissed some girl from high school?

I stayed in bed for, like, a week when you said space was what you need.

Waited by my phone like a goddamn fool.

Now it don't mean a thing.

God, love's fuckin' embarrassing.

Watch as I crucify myself for some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning.

I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy.

My God, how could I be so stupid?

You found a new version of me and I damn near startеd World War III.

Jesus, what was I even doing?

I give up everything.

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

I keep coming back for more.

I'm planning out my wedding with some guy I'm never marrying.

THE GRUDGE

I have nightmares each week.

One phone call from you and my entire world was changed.

Took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers.

I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did.

I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it.

My undying love, now, I hold it like a grudge.

I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough.

I try to be tough, but I wanna scream.

How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

You know I can't let it go.

I've tried for so long.

It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong.

The arguments that I've won against you in my head.

I fantasize about a time you're a little fuckin' sorry

I try to understand why you would do this all to me.

You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy.

We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.

Do you think I deserved it all?

You built me up to watch me fall.

You have everything, and you still want more.

But even after all this, you're still everything to me.

I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine.

It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet.

PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY

I bought a new prescription to try and stay calm.

There's always somethin' missing.

There's always somethin' in the mirror that I think looks wrong.

When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?

I'd always feel the same.

Pretty isn't pretty enough anyway.

You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war.

You fix thе things you hated, and you'd still feel so insecure.

I try to ignorе it, but it's everything I see.

It's on the poster on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines.

It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed.

I don't know why I even try.

I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy.

I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life.

None of it matters.

You just feel like shit over and over again.

It'll never change.

TEENAGE DREAM

When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?

When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?

When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?

When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?

Got your whole life ahead of you.

I fear that they already got all the best parts of me.

I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream.

When does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?

When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?

When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?

Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?

They all say that it gets better.

It gets better the more you grow.

But what if I don't?