#god i don't even have tags i'm not in the right headspace for this

[stop-talking]

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (pt. 1)

Mike Schmidt x fem reader

2.5k words

Tags: 18+, mike x reader, no use of y/n, exes, enemies, enemies to lovers, slowburn? sassy mike, sassy reader, pet names, banter, angst, so much angst, flashing mike, fluff, spending time with Abby (because everyone always forgets her??)

Part 2

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Mike holds his breath as the phone rings. He's already gone down the mental checklist of people who he could possibly call for help right now, and is currently scraping the bottom of the goddamn barrel.

*click* "Hello?"

He speaks hurriedly into the dingy landline phone, praying you won't immediately dismiss him.

"Hey, it's Mike. Please don't hang up."

You're tempted to hang up on him then and there, just to prove a point. You guys broke up nearly a year ago, and hadn't spoken in... what, six months now? But the tone in his voice... he sounded desperate.

"What, drunk and lonely again?" You scoff, unable to resist taking a jab at him. You two hadn't exactly ended things on good terms, his lack-of-sleep induced grumpiness and general unpleasant disposition making it hard for him to take criticism without it turning into an argument. It wasn't your fault he never made time for you. It wasn't your fault he was so emotionally unavailable.

"No." He grits his teeth, already regretting calling you. "I need a favor. Please." He chokes the word out, his stomach in knots from having to resort to this.

You pause for a few moments, chewing on his words. It must really be serious if he'd called you, after all the things you'd said to him last time you spoke.

"Well... lets hear it, then."

"I need you to watch Abby tonight. My usual babysitter isn't answering the damn phone, and I have to leave for work in an hour. I can't leave Abby home alone. I just can't."

In an hour? You glance at the clock, it's already 8:30. What ungodly hours is he working?

"I thought you didn't work nights? I swear to god, Schmidt, if you're making me watch her so you can go get laid-"

"No. Nothing like that. I swear." He sighs, sounding genuinely exhausted. "I'm working as a security guard these days. Night gig. Long story. It sucks ass, but I need this job. Can you watch Abby? I'll owe you one."

You bite back the urge to scoff at him. He's not even going to pay you? Figures. Oh well. Holding a favor over his head might be fun.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll see. What time will you get back? I have work in the morning."

"6:15. Maybe 6:10, if I drive like a maniac."

"Shit. I'll have to get ready for work at your place. If I go home first I'll be late."

"Yeah, sure. Anything. Just please stay with Abby. She goes to sleep at 10, you can crash on the couch. I just want someone in the house with her."

You let out an audible sigh. Are you seriously going to go crash on your shitty ex-boyfriend's shitty couch on a work night?

...Yeah, yeah you are.

"Damn it, Mike. You'd better kiss my fucking feet when I get there."

Mike almost laughs at that. Almost.

"Sure thing, Princess." He cant help but taunt you a bit, using an old pet name he used to call you way back when you were dating. It probably wasn't the best decision to irritate the last person he could rely on, but he wasn't in the right headspace to make good decisions right now. These days, he mostly runs off of coffee and self-hatred.

"I'll be there in 30. You'd better be on your knees and groveling when you open the door." You slam the phone down before he can answer. Michael fucking Schmidt. Still the same jackass you broke up with all those months ago.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

When Mike opens the door to greet you almost exactly 30 minutes later, he reluctantly drops to his knees. He'd hoped you'd forgotten the silly request, but the unamused look you gave him said otherwise.

"Fucking witch." He grumbles, hanging his head as you brush past him into the house. Were you wearing... pajama pants? He stares at you as you set down your things, a purse and what looks like an overnight bag of some sort.

"Stop gaping. And stand up. You look pathetic." You shrug off your coat, revealing an old t-shirt underneath. Yeah, you were in pajamas, so what? Its late. And you couldn't be bothered to put in extra effort for Mike, of all people.

"Excuse me for doing as her majesty commands." He groans and stands up, brushing himself off. As if that'll make him look any more presentable.

Abby tentatively pokes her head out of her room, watching you and Mike argue. Shit. Did she hear all that?

"Hey Abbs." You wave to her, deciding to ignore Mike's comment. "It's gonna be just me and you tonight, sound good?"

She looks to Mike for approval, who nods and gives her a tired smile. The only kind of smile he's been able to muster lately.

"...Will you play with me?"

"Yeah, 'course I will. Let me have a chat with your brother real quick." She seems to accept that answer, closing herself back off in her room. You sigh and follow Mike into the kitchen.

"There's leftovers in the fridge, and a lasagna in the freezer. Probably have something edible in the pantry. I think there's popcorn." He explains, pointing out a few different measly options for a quick meal. "Look, she probably won't, but just try and get her to eat dinner."

You watch him lean back against the counter and rub at his temples. God damn, he looks... exhausted. His hair has grown out a bit since you last saw him, dark brown curls hanging low over his forehead. His eye bags seem to hang even lower.

"Yeah... I'll try and get her to eat."

An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air as you both run out of things to talk about, so he fills the void with an insult.

"You really had to come over in that?" Mike scoffs and gestures at your frumpy t-shirt and pajama pants.

"What? Were you hoping for something slutty?" You cross your arms and give him a smug look.

He turns his head, unsure what to say to that. Maybe part of him did hope to see you dressed in something a little more revealing. Or maybe just undressed. God damn it, was he blushing?

"Fuck you." He mutters, making his way to the entryway and slipping his shoes on.

"No thanks. Been there, done that." You respond dismissively, watching him leave with a smirk.

Mike slams the door on his way out. Not hard enough to startle Abby, hopefully, but hard enough to make a point he's not in the mood to play your little games. Still, the whole drive to work, he can't help but wonder what if...? What if you had never broken up with him? What if he had been a better boyfriend? A better provider for you and Abby? A better man?

"I fucking hate her." He grumbles, but the words are hollow.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"Mike told me you stopped coming over because he found out you're a witch and you curse children. Is that true?" Abby finally musters up the courage to ask the question that's been on her mind ever since you walked through the door.

"Did he say that?" You chuckle, a little shocked that this is what she chose to ask after ten minutes or so of silently coloring together.

"Yeah. He said you cursed him, too. And that's why he can't color anymore. He'll explode, or something." She babbles, not looking up from her paper.

"Hmm... well, if you're really worried about your brother, I'll cut you a deal." You do your best to keep the anger from your tone as you continue to color beside her at the table. That asshole doesn't color with Abby anymore?

"...What kind of deal?"

"I'll lift the curse on your brother so he can color and draw again... but you have to eat dinner. Ten whole bites."

Abby seems to consider this for a moment, turning and eyeing you suspiciously. Mike likes to mess with her like this. Were you messing with her too? Probably. But, well, if it would make Mike spend time with her again...

"Fine. What do we have?"

You smile at her. This babysitting stuff is a breeze.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

When Mike stumbles in the door the next morning, he spots you fast asleep on the couch. He flops down in the recliner and just watches you sleep for a minute or two. You look so pretty when you're asleep. Serene. Peaceful. Not at all like when you're awake, giving him that attitude he's so familiar with. He sighs and makes his way over to the couch, knowing he should probably wake you for work.

"Uhh... wakey wakey?" He mumbles lamely, unsure what to really say. Definitely not good morning, beautiful. He scoffs to himself at the thought.

"Mmm... Mike?" You blink up at the man gently shaking your shoulder, your eyes adjusting to the morning light.

"Yeah. Who else would it be?" He shakes his head in amusement and goes back to sit in the recliner.

"I dunno. A hookup?" You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes, then stretch out.

"A hookup? Still being passed around, then?" He responds with a scoff, trying to hide just how much that answer bothers him. Even after nearly a year of being broken up, he doesn't like to imagine you with other men. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth, even if he's not into you anymore. Actually, you don't look half-bad right now, stretching your arms over your head like that...

"Can you blame a girl? Had to make up for all the unsatisfying nights with you."

Mike reeled at that little quip. The smug look on your face, god... He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to shut you up with a kiss or a punch.

"Just fucking go home." Nice one, Mike. That'll show her.

"Hey, you agreed I could get ready here. I'm gonna go use your shower, and then I have something to talk to you about."

Something to talk to him about? He scowls as you walk off towards his bedroom. Why couldn't you just leave him alone? Why did everything have to be so complicated? He groans and goes to lie down in bed. Maybe he could get in a quick nap while you shower. Maybe.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You emerge from the dingy bathroom connected to Mike's bedroom fifteen minutes or so later, steam trailing in behind you.

"Three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash? Seriously, Schmidt?" You scold him, crossing your arms as you stand before his bed wearing nothing but a towel. At first, he seems annoyed when you pull him out of his brooding, but when he takes in your current state of undress, he sputters.

"S-so? Its economical." He scoffs, irritated, but unable to look away as you make your way around his bed and out the door.

You return a minute later carrying your overnight bag. "Forgot my clothes." Mike just nods, still unable to tear his eyes from you.

"Stop staring."

"Stop waltzing through my room naked."

"This isn't naked." You gesture to the towel wrapped around your body, drawing his attention back to you.

"This is naked."

Mike watches in complete shock as you let the towel fall to the floor, completely baring yourself to him for a few moments before finally locking yourself in his bathroom. You hear him mutter a few curses on the other side of the door, and smile as you get changed.

"Was that really necessary?" Mike scowls at you when you emerge from his bathroom a few minutes later, now fully dressed.

"Calm down, Mikey. Not like you haven't seen it all before." The old nickname you used to call him by doesn't sound endearing anymore. It sounds taunting. Mike looks like he cant decide between kicking you out of the house or pulling you into his bed. Good to know you can still get under his skin. And maybe his bedsheets, if you wanted.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" He finally asks, sighing in defeat.

"C'mon. I'll tell you."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Mike sits in the recliner, watching you set up a bunch of unnecessary crap on his coffee table. Did you really have to do your makeup right in front of him?

"A witch, Mike? Seriously? You told her I'm a witch, and then left her alone with me for the night?"

Mike swallows. Shit. He honestly forgot about that, it was just some lame excuse he came up with right after the breakup back when he was still distraught.

"Am I wrong?" He tries to brush it off with a sassy comment, but folds when he sees your intense glare.

"I mean... uh... I'll tell her you're... not a witch..." Real smooth, Schmidt. Mumble and stare at the floor.

"It's not even about that, really. Feed her all the lies you want. What I'm upset about is that she told me you don't color with her anymore."

Mike finally meets your eyes as you apply yet another random powder he doesn't understand the purpose of to your cheeks with the swipe of a brush.

"I'm busy. And it's none of your business. I asked you to come be her babysitter, not her mom." He snarls, hands clenched into fists.

"I'm not trying to be. It just breaks my heart to hear that stuff from her, Mike. I told her I'd lift the 'curse' off of you if she ate her dinner, and she did. So consider yourself un-cursed."

Mike grits his teeth as you put air quotes around the word "curse". He knew you were right, and that bothered him more than the fact he was being a shitty brother. The worst part was, you weren't even being snarky, you just sounded genuinely concerned for Abby. God damn it.

"...Yeah. Fine. Un-cursed. Got it." He grumbles in agreement as you finish up your makeup and swipe the assortment of products into your purse.

"How do I look?"

He wanted to tell you that you looked gorgeous, that he missed having you around, attitude or not. But in this moment, he couldn't do it. He was too tired. Too angry.

"Like a whore."

"Someone's jealous he doesn't get any."

"Like I'd want you."

"Oh yeah, the raging boner you had earlier when you saw me in a towel was because you don't want me. Totally."

Oh, now you're just taunting him.

"I'll have you know that didn't happen till after you lost the towel." Mike scoffs as he follows you to the entryway, unlocking the door for you while you slip on your shoes.

"Don't lie to me, Mikey."

"I'd never dream of it, Princess."

Mike has to resist the urge to pull you into his arms as you leave for work. Maybe if you didn't look so goddamn smug, he would. Instead he just shuts the door and locks it, hating himself for how much he enjoyed this whole interaction.

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will probably write a part 2 (with smut??)

edit: here is part 2

(no smut. part 3 tho...??)

idk this was my first fanfic ever so enjoy

[thebibliosphere]

This is just a silly little ask:

I finally started reading True Love Pangs ( I needed to be in the right headspace because I figured I was going to be way too obsessed and emotionally involved (I was right)). I love this book so much, it's so good!

I love the way each character has a specific voice, but it's still recognizable as your writing. I've read so many books where all the different povs feel the same, but this is so well done.

There's so many things I want to say, but I won't, because it would take too long and I want to finish reading it lmao

Just... Thank you, for writing this, for hitting that specific queer romance fantasy corner, for bringing joy into my life and helping me get back into fantasy romances in general!

I'm so sorry I'm so sleep deprived (new born baby, breastfeeding) I didn't even realize I butchered the title of the book. I feel stupid lmao.

Anyway I still love it sorryyyyyy

----

Oh my god, please don't feel bad! I was grinning like a loon the whole time. (do you have any idea how many times I type "hungry pants" in my tags? so many times)

The fact that you took the time to send me such an AMAZING message while sleep-deprived with a newborn is incredible, and I'm so, so happy you're enjoying it.

I hope all is well with you and the little one, and you get a chance to rest soon. If not, I hope my characters can keep you company 😅

[wordstome]

now that we don't talk

I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost Now that we don't talk

alpha colonel König x beta ex-lover reader

2nd person, no y/n, she/her pronouns, reader's callsign is Eden, reader speaks French, omegaverse, exes to lovers, fraternization

2.2k words

tw: none

I swear to God one day I'll write something that doesn't involve that big hooded freak. But today is not that day.

Shoutout to loganlermanstanaccount here on Tumblr, who I won't tag. The bullet point headcanons with written parts interspersed format is from their excellent college roommate Miguel O'Hara post, which became their fic Rigor Mortis. I highly recommend both!

Also, excuse the absolutely butchered military content. I'm sure none of this is how it works in real life, but alas, this is fanfiction, not a research paper. Reader serves a Laswell-like role, but I refrained from labeling her as CIA even though I do call her a station chief. For the purposes of this fic, she's the voice in the operatives' ear during ops. We're playing a bit fast and loose with the terminology here.

You’re a highly skilled intelligence agent and operative handler.

You’ve spent most of your life dedicated to your career: moving through the ranks, proving yourself, refusing to let anything stand in the way of your ambitions.

You’ve done some things you aren’t proud of, but always for the right reason. Or the reason that made the most cold, logical sense. Even when your heart tells you otherwise. Nobody in this line of work has clean hands, after all.

You’ve always done what needs to be done. For everyone’s best interest.

Today marks the first day of your collaboration with a PMC called KorTac. You’re hunting down a homegrown cult turned out-of-control terrorist cell.

You haven’t had much experience working with mercenaries, but in terms of hardened war criminals, KorTac’s people are quite well mannered.

Not that you had expected them to be rude and discourteous, but, well. You are an outsider. They haven’t necessarily embraced you, but their reception was nice enough.

You’ve got a meeting with their commander, but you can’t quite find the room you’re supposed to be meeting in. Not a great first impression to make, but luckily, someone takes pity on you.

He introduces himself. Korean. Callsign Horangi.

“You’ll get used to the layout of the base,” he says as you follow him through winding hallways.

“I hope so,” you reply. “I’ll be here for a while." You study the walls, the signs and numbers on the doors, trying your best to memorize everything.

"Do you know your commander well?" you ask. You're not the world's biggest fan of small talk, but you may as well know what you're walking into.

"König? Yeah, we've been close ever since he joined up." Horangi says, leading you into a long hallway. "He's a good guy. A little intense, but don't let that get to you. He's just getting the job done."

"We'll get along if he's competent." You can respect a man who forgoes pleasantries for making sure the shit gets shoveled.

"You don't have to worry about that." Horangi stops and holds the door open for you. "After you."

You study him for just a moment before entering the room. He's curt and to the point. Not bad-looking, either. Hopefully you'll get more chances to—

Your heart nearly stops.

KorTac's commander is facing away from the doorway, shuffling through some papers by the looks of it. But you would know him from any angle. The set of his shoulders, the way his stance is at ease but never truly relaxed, the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck.

You have to force yourself to step into the room. And when you do, he turns around.

You're vaguely aware of Horangi stepping around you to get into the room, but that's happening somewhere far away from the headspace you occupy right now. By the way König's eyes widen as they meet yours, he's in the same place too.

He hasn't aged so much as he's gotten more tired. He never did sleep enough, but now he looks like he hasn't gotten a sound night's rest in a long time. He's put-together, but there's a haggardness to him that probably wouldn't be noticeable to anybody but you. Someone who knew him when he was younger, and in the prime of his life. Someone who used to know every scar on his body, every crease of his brow, and now hasn't seen him in more than a decade.

The man who broke your heart stands on the other end of the room, staring at you as if he's seen a ghost.

The two of you stand there for a while before Horangi's voice shakes you back to reality. "Brought the station chief, sir."

"I...see." König—you suppose that's what he calls himself nowadays, the arrogant prick—clears his throat. "Thank you, Hong-jin."

"No problem." Horangi takes a seat. "The others will be in soon."

Horangi seems like a perceptive enough guy. Can he tell that the room feels several degrees colder? You pull a chair out, the furthest one from König's position possible, and ignore the hurt that briefly flashes across his face as you sit down.

The meeting goes well. It's just an opportunity for you to formally introduce yourself to the KorTac operators you'll primarily be working with for the next few months.

You can tell they're a close knit group by the easy way they interact with each other: they've worked together for a while.

König, too, is part of them, which must be how they pick up on the chilly dynamic between the two of you. Some of them are just puzzled. For most of them, it raises their hackles.

It doesn't matter to you. You can barely focus on getting through the meeting without feeling like you're going to faint.

It's absurd. You're not some delicate Regency-era lady. You're a hardened military officer. But it makes no difference.

It doesn't matter how long it's been, it seems. He's still the only one who can make you feel like this.

You can't get out of there fast enough after the meeting has concluded. Not only are the others shooting you suspicious looks, but you've spent too long in his presence. Any longer, and you don't know how you're going to keep your composure.

But you can't escape him. Of course not. Why did you ever think otherwise? You hear him call for you, and you walk faster. But it's futile.

This hallway is smaller, narrower, less open. Nobody's around to watch when he slams you against the wall to stop your hasty retreat. Nobody's around to see the way you sway in his hold, overwhelmed by the smell of him all around you. You're bathed in it, the overpowering presence of him.

"We need to talk." he demands.

"We just did. Meeting's over," you shoot back, making a paltry attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. He loosens his hold on you, but you're still trapped between him and the wall. No exit.

"I didn't plan this, in case you're wondering."

"That much was obvious." He's let his hair grow out longer, you notice at the most inopportune time possible. It suits him, you think.

He sighs in frustration. "If we're going to work together, we have to be civil."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't expose how much of a scoundrel you are in front of your precious squad," you bite.

You feel a twinge of smug satisfaction as regret settles into his expression. Too little, too late.

"I don't want it to be like this, either," he murmurs. "Ignoring and avoiding each other."

"You don't get to tell me how to act."

"You're right. But it's been a long time. Can't we try to get along? Not for my sake, but...yours."

"Well that's not condescending at all."

"That's not what I meant. I know my team. If you're walking around resenting me openly like that, they won't trust you. And they need to, if you're working with us."

He's right, and you know it. But there's that deep instinct inside you, older than your bloodline, waking up after a long slumber. It wants him, snapping at the bit to give into him and do whatever he asks of you. The urge will consume you if you don't fight it every step of the way.

You glare up at him, hoping you come off as brimming with resentment instead of desire. "As long as you and your team stay professional, I can too."

He's not satisfied with that answer, but it's all you're going to give him.

"Fine." He steps away from you, and you pour all your willpower into commanding your body to stay still. To not chase after his closeness. You sway on the spot, dizzy with his scent after having gone so long without it.

"This hallway is a dead end, by the way."

You try, you really do. But it's hard to be around him without feeling the urge to touch him, to press yourself against him and inhale him like the most destructive drug possible.

Your only recourse is to stay as physically far away from him as possible.

You do your best to ingratiate yourself with the other operators. You and Calisto are fast friends: she's got a breezy confidence to her that's quite refreshing. It also doesn't hurt that you speak French, as well. There's a bit of kinship felt whenever the two of you are holding a conversation none of the others can understand.

Horangi's a different story, though. The initial courtesy he showed you is a bit more clipped, now that it's clear something is up between you and König.

You can't believe you missed it the first time, the way König's smell is all over him. It really has been too long.

The two of them must be pretty close. You give up trying not to fixate on the idea.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but you were curious. Even more curious when you hear your name mentioned.

"It's pretty clear you and Eden know each other. None of us are stupid."

You freeze in your tracks. The door is closed, but you can hear Horangi's voice, loud and clear in the room behind it.

"It's not relevant. She's just here to do a job."

"I think it's pretty relevant that she gets up and leaves whenever you enter a room, regardless of what she's doing. She can't get away from you fast enough."

You give a surreptitious look at your surroundings, then lean down slightly, pressing your ear to the door.

"You're not going to give this up, are you?"

"Hell fucking no."

You hear König sigh. "Fine. We knew each other before I joined KorTac. Back when I was in the Jagdkommando."

Do you want to hear this? Your painful history, relayed to a near stranger? Horangi's not a stranger to him, that's for sure.

"And?"

"We were...involved."

"You and a beta? Never took you for the type."

"Well, neither did I. But she was...special. Smart, pretty, deadeye with a knife. Wouldn't give me the time of day, of course. I was obsessed with her."

"Naturally."

"Give me a fucking break, okay?"

"Can't wait to hear how this ended."

"Not...great. I was a total dick."

You can say that again, you think.

"I was young. Real dumbass who thought he was hot shit."

"You still aren't."

"Shut the fuck up." Something twinges inside you at the hearty laughter the two of them share. You missed that laugh.

"Despite everything, it was the most stable relationship I've ever been in. We looked out for each other. She knew me better than some of my family does."

"How did you fuck that up, then?"

"I got too comfortable. Started thinking I could do better. God, what a fucking idiot I was. I loved her like crazy, but I didn't realize how good I had it until it was gone."

"She left you?"

"No. I was the one who ended things. In the worst way possible, too. I told her the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere, that we were never going to be a serious thing."

"Ouch. Why not?"

You squeeze your eyes shut. You remember that night, like a shard of glass buried in your chest. As hard as you tried to forget, you'll never forget the way you felt. Like the world was ending.

You'll never forget the decision you had to make.

"I told her I couldn't see myself with a beta long-term."

"...that's fucked up."

"I know. I know. I was too caught up in that shitty macho alpha mindset. I was fucking ravenous back then, and I thought only an omega could give me what I needed."

"I get it now. If I were her, I would have quit on the spot seeing you in that meeting room."

"Yeah. She's a better person than I can ever imagine being."

Well. It's nice to know he regrets it, you think. Not that it does you much good now. Quiet as a mouse, you make a quick exit before you can get caught.

You make it back to the the room you've been assigned to. They were nice enough to give you your own private quarters, something you deeply appreciate when you need to be alone with your own thoughts. Like right now.

It's a strange feeling, to sort of get closure like this. Not at the end, but at the beginning of something new. You still have to see each other. Does it help that you know how he feels? Maybe, but it doesn't ease your own guilt. In fact, it makes it worse.

You're not mad at him for telling Horangi. You're glad he did, actually. There are some secrets that cause more harm to keep than not.

You open a drawer and pull out the pill bottle, hidden underneath your other possessions, and stare at the label.

WARNING - SUPPRESSANTS. NOT TO BE USED BY ALPHAS. ONLY CONSUME UNDER PHYSICIAN SUPERVISION.

You would know.

BOOM! There you have it. (In case it wasn't clear, the suppressants are for omegas.)

@sprout-fics's omegaverse 141 headcanons series inspired me to write something based off the idea of an omega disguising themselves as a beta in the military. Please check out her series, it's great.

I was really into exploring how omegaverse dynamics can make complicated relationships even messier. I did consider writing this story without the omegaverse, but I think now it's kind of an essential element. (I also just. Want them to have crazy nasty omegaverse sex. Sue me) I can't picture König ever breaking up with someone he deeply loved and was obsessed with, unless he had a reason like that. Still not a great reason, but a little bit understandable. Eden being a disguised omega also adds a bit of spice to the exes-to-lovers arc, too: she could have just come out and told him she's not actually a beta, but she chose not to for the sake of her career. Oof. Ruthless judgement calls were made on both sides.

I put this out because this idea had me in a STRANGLEHOLD, and I just had to get it out before I burst. Hopefully my writing's still up to par 😅 As for Kingdom Come, part iii may take a little while longer because a lot is going to happen in it, so I hope this can tide you guys over until then.

As usual, comments and feedback are always appreciated! I would love to talk about this au more. And again, if you'd like to be tagged, drop a reply. And if you're in the taglist and would like to be removed/only tagged for Kingdom Come, please let me know!

@crowbird @poohkie90 @cumikering @iytatsworld @papaver-decervicatus @anxietyrain @riotakire @ax0lotly @cookiepie111 @kacchasu @no1runawaymilkdad @chthonian-spectre @backwards-readings @yxllowtxpe @garbau @hexqueensupreme @queenthorin1 @violetstyless @her-majesty-theking @vegan-peppermint @peonytarian @ghostslittlegf @euuuuuuun @e1x03 @kokonoiwife @deaddainish @dragonfang @teehee-47 @catluvwr @keiva1000 @waves-against-a-cliff @channelsoph @cutiecusp @itsagrimm @dins-riduur-anthe @mantishymns @lexuria

[coquelicoq]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

i was tagged by @littleragondin! mci mon ami.e !

3 Ships You Like: in a kim dojka & yoo sangah platonic life partners phase rn. god. they would get married but not because they particularly care about marriage, just to bypass the hoops the government makes single people jump through in order to adopt kids, but kim dokja would seriously hesitate for the sole reason that him marrying yoo sangah would make all three of his parents very happy in a way that he would find incredibly annoying.

ok i'm doing another platonic one: moon & ember! i have read the few existing moon & ember fics so many times i can no longer separate them from canon. their dynamic is everything 2 me. bodyguard & anger translator. damaged hottie with trust issues & naive little pretty boy who just wants to go home. moon sees ember as not just a romantic rival but also a threat to his place in the colony, and of course being moon, his reaction to that is not to challenge ember but just to assume that he's been replaced and that he has to start over again alone. ember is everything that moon is not, everything he's convinced he's supposed to be, but ACTUALLY they're both perfect the way they are and there's room enough in this court for the both of them. they are so powerful when they combine their complementary skillsets for the good of the colony. plus i love that every time he interacts with anyone moon is probably thinking, "ugh, i bet EMBER wouldn't be fucking this up"…but also he's defending ember when stone makes fun of him and offering to challenge the reigning queen on ember's behalf! he's protective of ember even as ember embodies everything that makes him insecure. meanwhile ember thinks moon is the coolest person to ever exist and also. extremely cringe. probably 25% of his pillow talk is him subtly trying to convince pearl that moon is just a little birthday boy who should be allowed to be a hugely oversensitive weirdo, as a treat.

people have been rbing some of my cherry magic posts recently so i've been thinking about kurodachi again. i miss them! they're so well matched, so complementary in the ways that they need to grow, and it's lovely to watch them help each other do that. the way that adachi is inspired to make an effort by kurosawa's continuous striving for things he thinks he'll never get, and the way that adachi's apathy for perfection frees kurosawa from his need to be worthy…like ok fine whatever i am listening!!!

First Ship Ever: i have been sitting here trying to think of an earlier ship so i can avoid embarrassing myself, but if i'm honest it's probably ron/hermione. moving right along.

Last Song You Heard: one week by barenaked ladies! what a banger.

Favorite Childhood Book: when i was a kid i had meticulously curated my top ten favorite books, but now i can only remember half of them: island of the blue dolphins, the witch of blackbird pond, ella enchanted, walk two moons, and mrs. frisby and the rats of nimh. can you tell i had one of those bookmarks that listed all the newberry award winners and was working my way through it? lol.

Currently Reading: i just finished my reread of maskerade, the discworld book about the opera, which i had put on hold after reading le fantôme de l'opéra. it wasn't one of my fave discworlds as a teen but i think i'm now in the right headspace for it. enjoyed it quite a bit!

i'm near the end of both the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson and par amour by valérie tong cuong. the latter is about a family in le havre during wwii and is very hard to put down. i have honestly no idea what will happen in the remaining two chapters except the nazis are going to lose the war. the traitor baru cormorant is well done, but i don't think i like it enough to read the sequel. (i still am pathologically unable to stop a book that i've started, but i've just discovered that i am capable of stopping after book 1 of a series. life hack!!)

Currently watching: natsume season 4 dub! i just watched the moon-splitting festival arc and the baby nanase episode yesterday. next up is the one about natsume's picture of his parents which. like. let's just say i am marshaling my emotional forces for that one.

also it is about to be march madness! selection sunday tomorrow babey!!!

Currently consuming: the great thing (sarcastic) about living alone is that you spend four hours making this quinoa black bean dish and then have to somehow eat all of it before it goes bad. luckily my neighbor and i have been doing this cute thing for the last ~6 months where we share whatever food we make with each other. this has been working out extremely well for me, because when he cooks i get to eat without having to do anything whatsoever, and when i cook i don't have to worry as much about quantity. i feel like i tricked him into it somehow even though he is getting exactly the same thing out of it as i am.

Currently craving: a baked good i made for the first time recently and then made again two times in rapid succession because i (and my neighbor lol) liked it so much: gingies! okay technically the recipe calls them gingerbread cookie bars, and i just looked up "gingies" (to make sure it's not an offensive term for redheads that i don't know about) and apparently it's frequently used for gingersnaps, but MY use of "gingies" is right and correct and all these other people are idiots. the reason is that they're basically brownies (texture/structure/technique-wise) but with the gingerbread flavor profile instead of chocolate. and "gingeries" sounds stupid, so gingies it is!

tagging @treecakes, @joelletwo, @qserasera, @defeateddetectives, @ctl-yuejie, @deimos-the-wolf, @stupid-lemon-eater, @loreofcardigan, and @dangerliesbeforeyou if you feel like it! no pressure obvi!!

[dystopian-reverie]

Making two random Marvel characters meet #1

The Moon Boys and Kamala Khan

Warning: Mentions of trauma only if you squint, nothing else.

This is just a headcanon that's been running around my mind for a while. I just think that they all would have a cool character arc together.

Of course, the headcanons have next to no chance of happening anyway.

This was written before the Ms. Marvel series was even completed, so this is pretty vague and contains no plotlines or might not be in sync at all with what might happen in MCU's future.

A/n: Felt physical pain knowing that Muslims don’t usually celebrate Raksha Bandhan (pls do correct me if I’m wrong because I learnt this from Google) because I’d give right about anything for Kamala to tie Rakhi on Marc’s wrist and him not taking it off for the whole day.

Tag list: @jakelcckley @wowifinallymadeanaccount @devilish-mirage @later-gators12 @wast3ofurtim3

The way I see it, this duo could be the next “grumpy yet cool dad figure adopting an over-eager teenager with who they bonded quite a bit, and would definitely screw up anyone who hurt them” dynamics in MCU, following Tony-Peter and Stephen-America.

If their first-ever meeting was during super-heroing, whoever is fronting would most definitely go "Who the FUCK is letting a 16-year-old fight crimes around here? I'd like to have a word with them" and proceed to draw all the attention to him so she doesn't get hurt.

Let's say it's Marc who met her first. Fast forward a few minutes, he is clearly getting his ass handed to him and Kamala swoops in to save the day. They decide to team up, and after a messy, but successful mission nevertheless, they'd go get ice cream or a drink.

Kamala would immediately bombard him with questions, about his superhero origin story and how long he's been doing this because "Trust me, I know right about everything there is to know about the Avengers and you're not one of them."

"Far from it, kid," he'd grumble. "I'm the avatar of the Egyptian God, Khonshu" He'd explain how being an avatar works as she'd listen intently, taking in the fact that Egyptian mythology was indeed very real, as the Norse ones. "So, as I said earlier, I don't do team work, I'm better off alone,"

"But what you did back there was awesome!" She'd exclaim in dismay. "And the suit changes mid-fights? One moment you have this long cape fluttering behind you wherever you go and the next second you look like you're going to a serial killer met gala,"

That's when Marc truly laughs. It wasn't every day he met someone who doesn't want to kill him, let alone someone who was filled with life and enthusiasm and doesn't keep him on the edge all the time.

He could see Jake smiling in the reflection. "I like this kid. She's got spunk," He'd say, getting a warning glare from Marc.

He could see Steven in the back muttering something about "Serial killer met gala" and couldn't stop smiling to himself.

"The suit changes because the person who is wearing it changes, kid," he says and proceeds to explain about Steven and Jake, all the while she listens to him dumbfound.

"So, in a way," She'd smirk, "You're already doing teamwork. You just don't like being around other people,"

"Can't argue with that," he'd shrug. "Right. Don't you have any normal work to do? What do you kids your age do? Study, party? Why are you here?"

When he learns about her story, he realizes how much of her family and her ethnicity's history is bestowed upon this little kind. A part of him was impressed, and another part was mad that a teenager had to bear the mantle of representing an entire community, and if she ever messed up, bad people were going to come not only after her but her people too.

He'd feel his heart breaking for her because she was so young and innocent, she hadn't yet seen the fate of what happened to people who chose this path or what toll being a hero would take on her.

"That's her decision, Marc," Jake would chime in.

"She's just a child, Jake," Both he and Steven would hiss, their headspace immediately breaking into chaos.

I think there is so much potential for an awesome dynamic here.

Kamala and Marc would be the ultimate sunshine and sunshine protector TM duo ever. Layla would sometimes tease him about him basically being her brother figure, but he'd brush it off, grumbling about how he's just not letting that kid get into anything stupid.

It'd take him hours of convincing and some expensive chocolates to keep her from making a video about him and posting it on her youtube channel.

"Dude, it has like 5 subscribers anyways, and all of them are my friends," She'd whine, but would finally agree to keep his identity a secret.

Whenever Kamala would rant about her family, Marc would listen to her, wishing he could tell her how lucky she is to have a family that cares for her and loves her so much.

Kamala would sometimes be tip-toeing around that topic. Ever since Marc told her about his DID, she'd been researching about that and it came to her knowledge that this disorder develops in little kids who have gone through extreme trauma. She couldn't for the life in her imagine what would've happened. Abusive parents? Rough childhood and foster care system? He'd never talk about any of it and Kamala never tries to push it.

Marc would explain to her what having DID was like, and how he found out that he wasn't alone and shared his adventures with her. He wasn't great at narrating stories, so Kamala had to do most of the work, pulling sentences from him that would paint the perfect picture of the story he was trying to tell her.

She'd also brush up on her knowledge of Ancient Egypt and whenever she tried to geek about it, Marc would chuckle. "Steven's not available at the moment, try again later."

Muneeba's cooking was Marc's favorite. He'd traveled nearly all around the globe and had to eat a lot of dishes from various cultures, but he's always had a knack for Desi food, he found out, no matter how spicy it was. He'd huff and puff through it, his face red and hot but he'd be too proud to admit that the food's a bit too spicy.

Kamala would smirk, and tell him how she finally has a companion other than Bruno and doesn't have spice tolerance either.

If Kamala ever gets injured mid-fight, better take it for granted that whoever was responsible for that is going to get shredded to pieces. He would fight with such violence and vigor, not in front of her of course, that even Jake would be impressed.

Marc would feel less like a mistake and try to enjoy the lightness the kid brings whenever they hung out.

"Look, kid, if you want to survive out in the world with the kind of powers that you have, then you have to learn to physically fight too, alright, don't always rely on your superpowers, you never know what might happen," He had finally said one day, after Jake pestering him for a week straight.

"Jake, Steven, and I are gonna help you, and teach you how to fight," He'd say and be met with an over-enthusiastic and excited Kamala.

He'd soon realize how much he underestimated the kid because even without using her powers, with all the fighting, the kid has gotten physically and mentally stronger. Maybe she can survive this after all.

He couldn't help but worry at times about the inevitable- she's going to lose somebody close to her. An unsettling feeling would take over him, as he realized how much it would break him to see the kid in pain.

Kamala and Steven are probably the softest and most enthusiastic duo who aren't family related in the MCU.

Usually, when Steven is fronting, nearly the whole time would pass by as they both take turns sharing their knowledge on different things that interest them.

Muneeba doesn't understand how Kamala is sliding in random Egyptian facts in everyday conversation and doesn't remember buying her that large Encyclopedia of Egypt that sat heavily on her study table. Probably a gift from Bruno, she had shrugged it off.

If Steven ever got the chance to meet her family or already knows them in the story, he'd definitely help Muneeba around the house with all the work. Breaking through a Desi mother's doubts and initial distrust was probably his greatest achievement, he'd tell Marc and Jake.

This man would have ZERO tolerance for spice and the family would try to stifle their laughs as Kamala brings him cold water and curd to ease the burning. Muneeba made a note to go easy on the chili whenever Steven was around.

Steven Grant was a patient man, and Kamala liked to test that by going "Alright what's all this then," and "It's chewsday, innit?" in a terrible English accent all the time. Jake and Marc adored her for this very reason.

And let us not forget about Kamala's dad and Steven watching cricket matches together!! Those two would lose their minds during every sixers and fours, and wicket. They'd often get into heated discussions about the players and their styles, and historic cricket matches. They both would put the match's commentators to shame.

Kamala might ask for Steven's help whenever she had a history test, and Steven would spend hours teaching her the study materials and helping her memorize all the dates and places and major events fast because he was easily the best teacher Kamala has ever encountered in her life.

When she jokingly mentioned that, Steven felt so proud of himself, not something he was used to feeling.

Kamala is the best wingman for The Boys and Layla. They might be divorced, or complicated or working through it, but whenever Kamala was around, she would, in her own ways, try to help the boys out.

Whenever a mission was getting out of hand, his first priority would always be getting Kamala to safety, though as time went on, he learned to let her fight beside him because she was equally, if not more, stronger and powerful than him.

Kamala and Jake would be the definition of a disaster duo that raised the blood pressure of anyone and everyone around them.

He mostly never fronted when any of Kamala's family members were around. He had met Bruno tho and promptly traumatized that kid with his gruesome stories. Kamala would shove him in the ribs to make him stop, but he'd only keep smirking as he watched Bruno fumble around him.

He'd have zero verbal filters around the kid, earning him a string of warnings from both Steven and Marc which he blissfully ignored. He'd also not bother about beating guys to a pulp whenever she was around, unlike his other alters who were always careful to not use too much violence. Though it made Kamala queazy sometimes, she wouldn't say anything because Jake was the only one who she felt treated her like an adult who can handle things instead of a child who didn't know what she was doing.

Jake would be the one to spoil Kamala so much. He'd buy her whatever she wants on one condition: she exceeds in her superhero training program (but he just buys the random stuff she asks for anyways).

Kamala would try to learn Spanish from Jake, and he'd try to learn Urdu from her. It wasn't a thing they did voluntarily, they didn't set up classes or did it on purpose. They both would say something in their mother tongue and the other would ask what it means and they would go on teaching and learning for minutes together.

One time Jake even gave Kamala and Bruno a ride to their school in his infamous "SPKTR" Limousine that had the whole school turn around and look at them. "Enjoy the attention for the day," He'd say and drive off.

He'd often ask her if he wants to meet Khonshu knowing damn well Kamala can't see him (or can she, with her having Noor ancestry) but never got the chance to because he'd brush it off as a joke- a result of Marc, Steven and Khonshu yelling in the back for him to stop.

Jake usually steered clear out of the way of emotions and feelings. To him, existing while having fun and being wild was all that mattered. At least that was how he planned on spending his days. One day, he was flipping through Kamala's infamous sketchbook that was filled with superheroes and her friends, fictional characters she loved, or basic landscape sketches, and found illustrations of him, Marc, and Steven, fighting or just their basic character profiles.

He'd marvel at Kamala's talent. She really had the hands of an artist. That's when his eyes flicked to the captions beside or beneath every image that'd describe their superpowers or how she viewed them.

He could recognize his sketch pretty easily. The bloke with a boy cap and a suit, leaning over his limousine and a gun in his hand and mouth turned up in a smirk.

'Kid truly captured my essence,' He'd think. "Partner in Crime," He read the caption scribbled beside the illustration, smiling to himself a bit. "Coolest, deranged, uncle figure"

He never cared for much in this world, really. But if there was one thing he was good at, it was fighting for people he cared for. The list didn't have anyone other than Marc and Steven and only a couple of other people he'd seen in his short life, and Kamala was right beside the two idiots he shared his body with.

The Moon Boys and Kamala would be a fun and dangerous duo who have one of the most unique dynamics in the MCU, with so much potential for joint character development and arcs.

[justanotherstarlightmonger]

The goodie bag series - Min Yoongi

Pairing: Yoongi x fem reader

Word count: 2.4 k words

Warnings: Trigger warning, attempted kidnapping, attempted assault, a fight.

A/n: I fought with myself a long time about if I wanted to post this after I wrote it, but then decided, fuck it, I'll take my chances.

Tagging: @parkdatjimin @themochiverse and my yoonmin anon.

Read the other members here.

୧⁠|⁠ ͡⁠ᵔ⁠ ⁠﹏⁠ ͡⁠ᵔ⁠ ⁠|⁠୨~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yoonie, come home for dinner today?" You peeked out of your bedroom where you were still getting changed as Yoongi grabbed a mouthful of oats and grabbed his laptop bag and hurried to the door, but stopped as soon as you called out. He took two long strides and was in front of you, pressing a chaste kiss to your temples, " I won't make any promises honey, you know I'm busy."

You nodded against his lips, "Try?" You mumbled. 

"Mhm, I'll try. Have a good day!" He was already moving again and you regarded him with a tight smile as the door closed behind him. 

You stood there for a minute before turning back to the task at hand, getting ready to go to work yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'I won't make it to dinner, love. Don't wait up for me.' 

His text pulled you out of the stream of paperwork you were going through. You blinked disappointedly at the screen for a moment before going back to the floor plan you were designing, a strange bitterness in your stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bed dipped behind you and the familiar scent of Yoongi's perfume and his deep grunt as he flung himself on the pillows alerted you that he was back. Your lashes fluttered and you hummed, turning over and cuddling into his side. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. How was your day?" His tone sounded oh so tired. 

"Good. Did you eat?" You were still half asleep. 

"No, I had a late lunch. Im not very hungry, let's just sleep?" And you knew, with the way his words drawled out, that he needed sleep more than anything. 

And God knows, you needed it too, so you hummed in agreement and soon enough, both your breaths evened out, holding onto each other.

Until he started coming home so late and leaving so early that the only indication of his presence in your shared space was the occasional damp towel left in the bathroom, the rumpled sheets on his half of the bed and the single dirty dish in the sink in the morning. 

He still texted you though. 

'Good morning my love. You looked too peaceful to wake up. I had early practice and lots of writing to do. I'll see you in the evening. '

And then as evening approached, 'Babe, I'm caught up. Please don't wait up for me. I'm so sorry. '

And he was sincerely sorry. You knew. You knew your husband, and you also knew that when he slipped into the Producer Min headspace, there wasn't much you could do except wait it out till the days he'd pick you up from work and both of you'd drive home humming to songs together, returned. 

And you had your own work right? Yeah, you had loads of paperwork to go through, so many plans to approve and so many meetings to attend. 

Then why was it that when you leaned back in your chair, looking at the clock that showed that two hours had passed since you were supposed to clock out, and one of the more high profile client's plans pulled up on your computer, your heart felt like someone was squeezing it so tight? 

You missed Yoongi. You always missed Yoongi, and whenever something like this happened, you'd voice it to him, and flawed as he was human, Yoongi had a way of turning on you for being too immature and needy sometimes. 

And you had promised yourself that you'd not let an argument like that happen this time. 

Thus, true to yourself, you picked some chicken from one of his favorite fried food places and headed to his company. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was stupid, why was your heart hammering so hard? This was your husband for god's sake. You entered the password to his studio in the keypad and as the door beeped open, you pulled the door, bracing yourself. 

But his wide eyes and slight pout told you everything was okay. 

For now. 

His smile was just as bright as it had always been. His kisses were just as sweet as you wanted. His whispered "I missed you so much" echoed what your own heart was screaming, and you were happy. 

And so was he. 

Which is why when you stretched out on the couch after the staff had collected all the trash, leaving you both to your devices, Yoongi had only fondly rolled his eyes and tucked you under his own jacket, as he went back to work and you dozed off. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That first night in the studio turned into an almost daily ritual.

For four days. 

Which seemed fair, because you had gone without the man for a whole week. And you were confident that this time around, you might make it out of this spell without an argument.

But things always had a way of going downhill didn't they? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi didn't mind you hanging out in the studio. It was his habitat, and you were his wife. If anything, you were the one he loved having there more than anyone. But he had noticed the way you grimaced and grabbed your shoulders when you woke up, the way your neck bent at all the wrong angles on his couch, and how the dark circles under your eyes turned darker. 

He felt guilty. 

And he hated feeling that way. 

"Babe, go home." He urged you, adamant in front of him. 

"No. I'm fine here, trust me." Ah, you had that look on your face. The look that was more of a challenge, as usual. A look that told him you'd be stubborn on this. 

"You're uncomfortable here, don't lie to me. Go home, it's alright, you don't have to stay with me." God, he hated feeling guilty. 

"I want to though." 

"You want to go to the chiropractor for your neck coz you're too damn stubborn for your own good?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow. 

"I want to stay with you coz I hate sleeping without you." You lowered your voice slightly, "You know that."

"Don't be such a child y/n, it's not like I don't come home" 

There he went, your heartbeat increased. This wasn't happening. Hadn't you promised yourself? 

" It's n-"

"Please go home, I'm wasting time as it is." He grunted and turned back, clearly done with the conversation as his hands reached for his headphones. 

"I hate sleeping alone Yoongi, why would you make me sleep alone when I'm fine here?" You demanded. 

You got no response, a faint sound of instruments came from his headphones. 

Tears pricked your eyes. Yoongi could be an ass when he wanted to. 

You sat there for a few minutes, before convincing yourself it wasn't worth getting into another fight if he turned around and still found you there. You heaved a shaky breath and gathered your stuff, leaving the building and heading to the bus stop. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God, fall nights in Seoul got so chilly so soon. You hugged your sweater closer to you and walked towards your home purposefully, the anger at a certain producer dissipating in the cool air. 

Not long after, you realized there was more than one echo of footsteps coming to you. You focused on the sound, trying not to be paranoid. Maybe it was just the way the street was. There wasn't someone following you, was there? 

Was there? You tilted your head slightly to the side. 

There most definitely was. 

Your heart hammered. Shit shit shittt. You transferred your house keys to your dominant hand and stuck the sharp edge out of your fist and quickened your steps. 

You were almost home, it was okay. 

And then the second pair of footsteps vanished. 

Phew, it was probably just someone else going home from work. Paranoia really did take the best of your mind some days. 

You heaved a sigh of relief and smiled softly. 

Too soon. 

You collided into a man in a long black coat who had just come out of the alley in front of you. His firm hands grabbed onto your waist, and one immediately made it's way lower over your hips. 

You blanched and tried to pull away. 

"Hello, pretty. What are you doing out at this hour?" 

His voice was raspy and his breath reeked of alcohol. You struggled harder.

"Let go!" You snapped. 

"Feisty little thing aren't you? Good, I like em feisty." He grinned, clearly drunk out of his mind and made to grab you off your feet, fitting both hands under your ass and lifting you up.

You screamed in terror and jabbed at his face with the key you had. 

Immediately he was dropping you, "You little cunt! What the fuck was that for?" He yelled.

But you were already swift on your feet, running in the opposite direction as fast as your legs would carry you. All you could think of was that he could not know where you lived. 

You zoomed onto the main street, still hearing his thundering curses and footsteps behind you, and thanked everything holy at the 7-eleven in front of you. 

"Please, help me. There's a man outside, he-" you gasped at the ahjussi behind the counter who had risen from his seat in surprise. 

He was quick to catch on, leaping from behind the counter and looking around outside. But the bastard had left. 

The old man turned back to you with kind eyes, concerned at the state you were in, pale and trembling like a leaf. 

"He's gone child, he's gone."

"A-are you s-sure?" You said weakly. 

"I'm sure. Let me get you some water. Do you have anyone to call to come get you? You shouldn't walk home by yourself at this time." He said kindly, pouring you a glass of water 

"M-my husband... My h-husband," your trembling hands found your phone and you were calling Yoongi instantly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi rolled his eyes and tossed his phone in the drawer. 

"Fucking hell y/n, how petty can you be?" He mumbled. 

You had this stupid habit of spamming him when you wanted to annoy him. 

He was just surprised that you'd do it now, when you had clearly had an argument.

If anything, Yoongi expected you to sulk and be mad for a day at least 

Clearly not. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the trembling phone told you the love of your life had let the call go to voicemail for the third time, you broke. 

Tears streaming down your face, you dialed the only one you trusted in any case. 

The line rang and then a sleepy hum sounded.

"J-jungkookie?" You sobbed. 

"Noona?" He was awake in a second, "What's wrong?" 

You sobbed harder. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Yoongi came home the next day, he was surprised at how dark the living room was, the curtains drawn. 

He also noticed how your shoes weren't by the door but instead still on your feet as you were curled up on the couch, eyes wide open and streaks of dried mascara sitting on your face. 

His alarms went off. 

There was something definitely wrong. 

"Honey?" He called out to your still form, and didn't get graced with a look back.

"Baby?" He went over to you. 

Still no response. 

Oh, something was so wrong. 

He got on his knees before you, his stomach churning in tension. 

"Y/n, love, what happened?" 

"I called you Yoongi, why didn't you pick up?" Your voice was hoarse and barely there, and your neck had these strange scratches on it that made no sense to the ridiculous question you had asked him. 

Something was wrong. 

"I was working love, what's happened to you?" 

That's when you caught him with a half dead gaze, immediately making him wish you hadn't looked his way. An unexplained shame set into his very bones. 

"Please tell me what happened." He pleaded again.

" I was... " You sighed, "I was walking home last night and when I turned off the main road... " Your voice broke again and Yoongi felt his sanity slipping away.

"... there was a- a guy... He-he tried t-to-" a dry sob cut you off and the raging panic in Yoongi's body froze over to something deadly. 

His own shame and ice cold anger made a cocktail of poison so strong, his fists clenched and his voice lowered. 

" He tried to touch you?" He asked.

Your nod had a roar lodging in his throat. 

" H-he lifted me and tried to take me away. I scratched him with th-the keys, " you hiccuped, "and ran back to the store. He followed me all the way" you were trembling again, tears of fear slipping down the paths already present on your face. 

"Honey..." His hands reached for you, and his heart broke when you started and pulled away slightly before grabbing his hands and crying in earnest. 

"Yoongi..." His name was all that slipped past your trembling lips as you cried against his shoulder, "I called you. I called you so many times, why didn't you answer me? " 

Yoongi felt like he'd be sick. He wanted to go get that bastard arrested this very moment but his guilt and shame froze him to the spot. The way you held onto him so tightly made him feel like he wasn't worthy to comfort you. 

And all he could say was, "I'm sorry, love. Im so so sorry. " His own voice strained from holding back tears. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi gingerly placed you on the bed after the longest shower you had taken. 

He had had to gently guide your hand away from your skin so many times as you scratched yourself violently and cried. You had cried so much. 

He had carried you to the room, silent and stewing in guilt. 

But as soon as his arms pulled away you mumbled a soft, "No... Please?" 

"What is it baby?" He had no words of comfort worthy of giving you.

"Stay."

"I'm right here." He sat beside you, his hands carding through your damp hair. 

You hugged his arm to your chest, breathing soft and slightly shaky from all the crying. 

"Jungkookie brought me home." You mumbled into his skin. 

Yoongi would go hug Jungkook after this. 

"Please don't make me sleep alone." God, why was your voice so small? 

"I won't, my baby. I won't ever. I'm so sorry." 

[mieczyhale]

@deanspillowprincess and @penguinsandpanthers are my best friends in the whole entire world, universe, dimension, every life, etc. they have been for the last 14 years and (for me, i wouldn't presume to know other people's thinking) that has never and will never change.

i met rachel right here on tumblr and through her i met colleen. they've been to my house (rachel more than once), we went on vacation together (unfortunately i was sick and miserable all week. not because of the company, that was a treasure, but bc god forbid i make sure my shoes fit comfortably before wearing them to walk through disney parks all day for multiple days) and it looks like in 2025 i'm going to get to go and visit rachel where she lives for once!!

there's no real point to this post, i started writing it over a week ago and then stopped (pretty sure i was in bed on my phone, pretty sure i was in a weird headspace. not that i don't mean what i said, but i'm not in the business of making sappy posts typically

i guess i just wanted to put it out there, into the universe or whatever. that i have had the blessing of meeting them and knowing them and i wouldn't trade that for all the money in all the worlds.

also to show that tumblr can be home to the greatest people you'll ever know. it's a silly dysfunctional site - search doesnt work right, tags dont work right, images dont always load on the app, staff makes a mess of things sometimes trying to force new useless features - but it also has memes and never-ending jokes and we make fake movies together, there are so many positive posts, we share places to donate and send positive chain asks and scream / cry / throw up over the things we love. there are absolutely bananas group efforts put towards anything we all care about, or anything we all find funny. our sense of humor is warped, we turned simple polls into something silly, something creative, something fun, and i'll never look at vanilla extract without smiling again.

it's stupid and it's the best.

your experience here is entirely determined by your own attitude and actions so make choices you can be happy with, interact with the posts you come across that you like or love, talk to the people who share your interests or headcanons, etc. approach this hellsite with an open mind, an open heart, and good faith interpretations and you can have the weirdest and best time of your life with people you'd engage in shenanigans, tomfoolery, and maybe even a heist with.

everyone deserves friends they can be in cahoots with

and tumblr gave me mine 14 years ago

god fucking bless this trash can (affectionate) of a site

[letsstartariot2002]

Into post this is pinned!

Hey guys! My name is Salem but please, unless we actually talk, call me Riot! My pronouns are(in order of preference): they/he/it/void/voids/voidself/entity/entity's! Please use all my pronouns not just one or two sets. If you don't know how to use my neos in a sentence here's an example. "Void is annoyed leave Void alone today" "That's entitys phone please don't touch it". My bestest bitch is @shatteredhope123 so if you see me insulting them or typing in all caps at them IT'S ALL JOKES, WE'VE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR LIKE 6-7 YEARS. We also know eachother in real life. I'm transgender ftm, Polyamarous, Gay, Demisexual and Demiromantic but I'm HAPPILY TAKEN AND NOT LOOKING FOR ANYMORE PARTNERS. My partners are Sam(long distance), Cody(long distance), Berat(close distance), Carlo(Headspace alter), and Duff(headspace alter). I have DID, ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety disorder, separation anxiety,social anxiety, and I suspect I may have some sort of anger disorder, so please use tone indicators when talking to me. If I don't answer you when you dm me, it means I'm socially drained or I just don't want to talk, so please respect that. I'm a furry, my fursona right now is a Pot dragon(closed species by Wikk Elam on Facebook, dm him if interested in owning one), and a grey Greek demigod cat named Skyler. I'm quite chill and laid back, until you piss me off that is. My hyperfixations right now are Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Subnautica, God Of War, FNAF, Wings Of Fire, the backrooms/liminal spaces, and weed(not doing it, the different strains and different effects, basically learning about it). If you couldn't tell, I am in fact a stoner. I'm 21 years old and I'm choas. I like to watch memes, or stupid shit, play games, and call my friends or boyfriends(mainly Berat and Sam, but separately). I have many many ocs so feel free to ask me about my oc lore, I so badly want to lore dump but nobody will listen to me yap about a fictional grey cat I made way back in grade 7/8.

Here are my triggers and things I'm not comfy with so please don't talk about these to me or tag me in posts related to these:

-Anything to do with someone dating someone much much older(had someone try to pull that shit with me recently)

-Abusive parents(unless ur my bestie then vent all you want, okay? Or oc lore, oc lore is fine as it's fake)

-Abusive romantic relationships, even if it's fictional. I've been in to many of these to fucking count

-Obsessive behaviors(had to deal with this recently, please just don't I can't even if it's fictional)

-Anything that has to do with Native legends(the W, flesh pedestrians, I'm native and highly believe in them so please don't glorify these things)

-Zoophila or pedophila(U WILL BE BLOCKED AND CALLED THE FUCK OUT)

-petty furry drama. Fucking sick of ppl claiming colors and animals. Grow up.

-Metallica(the band, trauma reasons)

-do not mention these names to me as I knew ppl with these names and they gave me trauma: Aiden, Justin, Annah, Sam, Hayley, Makayla,Karlee,Scott, Collette, Leonard. If I see any of these names for my own sake I will either unfollow you or block you. I know it's just a name but you guys don't get how heightened emotions get with ADHD.

Here are my current interests so feel free to dm me and ask me about these:

-fnaf

-subnautica

-Disney dreamlight valley

-minecraft

-wings of fire

-Eragon

-weed in general

-bendy and the ink machine

-Venom

-Spyro the dragon

-Ratchet and Clank

-animal jam for both pc and mobile

-my ocs

Feel free to tag me in things related to my likes or something you'd think I'd like! I love knowing ppl thought of me! I'm still learning how Tumblr works so I'll try to be more active to learn how it works. If I don't credit art please remind me to as sometimes I get way too excited to post art I get. I have a job so please be understanding that if I dm you, it means I value you. I'm VERY tired after work and have to constantly fight sleep all fucking day. I'm not very mentally stable from being exhausted so please be gentle on me. But yeah! Below are me and my boyfriend Berat! The dragon is the pot dragon, his name is Bear and he's HEAVILY BASED OFF MY BF BERAT SO PLEASE DONT TAKE INSPIRATION FROM HIM WHATSOEVER. DO NOT STEAL HIM EITHER. Art of Bear is by MilkyManta on discord. If you see someone other than me using him, TELL ME ASAP. same with Skyler.

This be skyler. if you see someone using them, TELL ME ASAP.

This be Bear, if you see someone using him, TELL ME ASAP. Species is by Wikk Elam on Facebook, they are a CLOSED species. You MUST tell Wikk if you are interested in owning one, you also must be 18+. Wikk will provide you the link to the official discord server.

[myalchod]

20 questions for fic writers

Stole this from @backjustforberena because procrastination tastes delicious and also I love a good excuse to babble. Not tagging anyone else, but if you want to steal it and tag me in your replies, I'd love to read your thoughts in turn.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

110 currently.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

249,772. Which is a whole heck of a lot more than I ever thought I'd write. (70k of those were in the last year, which is pretty amazing for me when I think about it.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At present, primarily Fate the Winx Saga, with a side of House of the Dragon on occasion. I tend to be a serially monogamous fangirl, but right now that seems to have an Eve Best asterisk. A number of others previously, most recently BBC's Musketeers.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Never and Always (Musketeers, post-S2 Milathos-centric canon-divergence AU, also the longest thing I've written for posting ... or possibly ever?)

A Pear and an Apple (X-Men comicverse, Kitty Pryde, for Jewish Comics Day)

Lessons (Musketeers prompt fic that just kept going; me writing completely against type except insofar as I am a people pleaser)

instinctively (FtWS, Silrah kink meme fill for a sex pollen prompt)

Show Me (Musketeers, Milathos sparring plus baby's first proper smut)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I'm consistently pretty far behind, but I like to try to show appreciation for the people who take the time to comment. (Whether I do or not, commenters are a gift and I love you all.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh dear god. Considering my predilections, I'm not even sure what would win -- considering I've used the angst tag 26 times, there are definitely a few contenders (and in hindsight, there's things without that tag which could count). I think I'd probably put it as a toss-up between let's pretend i'm a man (because in my head it does not end well) and that thunder in your lungs (despite the tag I wrote later). (Despite the death count, I would not give it to who shall i say is calling?, mostly because canon?)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably gonna give that to the fading year. Is this in large part because of @anne-in-dreamland's ridiculously soft and gorgeous art for that last scene? Entirely possible. 💙

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely. I feel like I write niche enough fandoms that it's not commonplace, at least. The occasional ones I've gotten have felt more bewildered than really hateful. (Hate commenting is bad, people. Do something better with your time.)

9. Do you write smut?

I didn't for the longest time, but was convinced to try in my last fandom and found I actually enjoy the challenge -- though I have to be in the right frame of mind and it has to fit what I'm writing. There's a puzzle to both the headspaces and the words, and I like trying to figure that out.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Also rarely. I have a couple that made it to AO3, and both were with the Sandman comics, which lend themselves well to that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, which hopefully means never.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I'm aware of -- I don't mind the idea but find the idea of it being done without explicit permission to be unaccptable. (I've had one fic podficced, which was such a flattering request.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Only one, for the March Madness challenge on the Winxsource server ... and I don't know if I'd call that co-writing given the blind activity and the crack. The two collaborations I have posted were for RBB, with some wonderful artist partners.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I refuse to choose. All of my idiot children are precious emotinally-constipated morons.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oof. The easy answer would be Between Midnight and Dawn; the framework is all sketched out, but thanks to the circumstances I hit such egregious writer's block on it that I don't think I'll ever be able to go back and finish it. This makes me sad, because I've got some parts of future scenes written out that I love, and I very much liked the concept and that (entirely unplanned) AU and how it took on a life of its own, and the fandom was so lovely and supportive, but ... alas, no. On an unposted front, I'm beginning to realise I will probably never actually write the House of the Dragon AU where Rhaenys and Meleys limp home after Rook's Rest and everything changes as a result. Intentions good, but the distractions are infinite, and right now they show no sign of flagging.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I handle emotional beats and introspection fairly well, and I enjoy playing with word choice and sentence structure -- which people respond to positively, so let's go with that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action, my behated. Extended dialogue, my equally behated. Plot, my kryptonite. And yet. (If you know, you know.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Depends on the length of it, whether translation is necessary (or the requisite understanding can be inferred), and how it fits. It has its place, but it has to be handled carefully or it can really be unpleasantly jarring.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek (TNG, mostly). In pencil, on notebook paper, starting in my preteen years, and lost to the ages ... which is probably for the best.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Once again, I refuse to choose, because I'm certain that once I do I'll think of another one I love. Each and every thing I've written has had a purpose: to get something out of my brain, to explore an idea, to push myself to grow as a writer ... As long as I got something out of it, and hopefully someone (or someones, even better!) enjoyed it, that's good enough for me.

[clotpolesonly]

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon!!! <3

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 - don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.  Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: -2

it's not that i have a particular objection to it on a moral/ethical level or anything, it's just generally not my preferred vibe

Codependency: 5

it is not healthy and that's what makes it entertaining XD

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +2

reeeaaaally depends, tbh, both on the execution of it and on my mood. and if it's a kink or not 😅 anything goes in kink fics lmao, but if i'm looking for a romance that's being taken seriously and being portrayed as a good (at least mostly) healthy thing, then i don't have a lot of patience or tolerance for it. i like seeing it addressed and worked through sometimes, though. idk, i'm picky about this one.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +4

stealing prev's: yes, but only if it's accurate to canon characterizations and isn't just shoving characters into trope boxes ✔

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +10

yeeeeaaaah that's the fun stuff

Friends with benefits: +7

promises good angst uwu, but also has the potential for miscommunication tropes that i have to be in the right mood for or else they get annoying and try my patience lol

Sex to feelings: +7

as distinct from friends with benefits?? 😂 i haven't heard of this one as a separate stand-alone trope, i don't think

Fake dating/relationship: +10

so much fun, so versatile, so many ways it can go

Friends to lovers: +6

still very good, but not as good as enemies to lovers. i also just really invest in strong friendships and am often would rather they stay like that rather than evolve into romance/sex. i'm a sucker for really really good friends 🥺

Found Family: +10

FUCK YEAH

Hurt/Comfort: +10

literally 85% of my thoughts per day revolve around contrived and self-indulgent h/c scenarios, it's all i care about tbh

Love Triangle: -3

it's gotta really be done well and without obnoxious cliche shit, it's not that it can't be done effective but it's really not a promising trope

Poly, open relationships: +1

it's not something that i'll necessarily seek out on purpose, but i enjoy it well enough

Mistaken/hidden identity: +4

can be very fun if it's done well

Monsterfucking: +7

i go back and forth depending on my mood 😂 i go through phases of Fuck Yeah Smuuuuut, at which times i am all about it, and phases of Good God Sex Is So Boring What's The Point, at which times i could not give less of a fuck. but when i'm on board, the monsterfucking is definitely an incentivizing trope 👌🏻👌🏻

Pregnancy: -6

i'm with prev, pregnancy weirds me out, alkdfjgh. it weirds me out irl too, it's borderline body horror for me haha, i find it quite squicky, so i've gotta be in juuuust the right headspace to go in for reading about it specifically. like, the mere presence of it won't stop me from reading an otherwise promising story, and i'm fine to skim if it's not prominent, but i'm not gonna read a story about pregnancy, ya know? no thanks.

Second Chance: +5

if it's done really well, it's fantastic. if it's done halfheartedly, too quickly, or with a sense that the author doesn't really understand or respect why the character NEEDS a second chance (ie, what they did wrong in the first place), then it's awful lol. so. picky about it, but when it hits, it hits hard.

Slowburn: +10

i am SO DOWN for a 200k story where they only kiss in the last chapter, if it's done well akldfjkdjgf

Soulmates: -4

the aro in me tends to be rubbed the wrong way by universes that are predicated on the assumption of an Other Half or fated romantic pairing. sometimes token efforts are made to worldbuild around it (i've written that myself tbh), but the whole concept is amatonormative enough to make me lowkey uncomfortable a lot of the time. doesn't mean i won't read or even enjoy them, but sometimes i reach my quota of romancey shit and decide FUCK THIS and can't stand to read them for a while 😂 gotta purge the yucky vibes before i can accept them again

and i'm taggingggg: @adamprrishcycle @fuck-isthatovid and @luulapants cuz that's all i can think of right now ily

[incarnateirony]

The heavily expanded, pinned masterpost of all the ways these dumb motherfuckers lost the plot literally years ago on production.

(links included to extended discussions of basic history reminders the world outside of patrick and the wincel bubble are largely aware of short of late fandom comers after S13 at latest; history he's all incredibly ignorant to)

(cut for length)

truly the funniest denial of the existence of or ability to fan pitch concepts is like

ok let's pretend. for a hot second. That any packages or emails or communications never made it. And it's all just. One Big Giant Fucking Coinkidink And We're Crazy.

Ok but. Bear with me here. If this is so obvious that even people that were banned from a server for some insane fandom drama coup that are still salty as fuck recognize what's going on because they were heavily involved, like our proverbial old bible keeper coming back to the server like--

ok hear me out but. Imagining. Nothing ever made it.

...doncha think it's kinda weird that we nailed it that close as a fluke so powerful even the Salty Banned Ones return? Like

you get that means we. Have a pretty good idea. Of where their heads are at least. Fucking... right? If this shit was any further up my ass I'd say they're subscribed to my youtu-ohw- how long ago was season 13 again? and oh man just wait until you hear who loves to read my mythos meta that you'd deny from a master post I know for a god given right from at least one person onboard that they're freaking obsessed with and share around. idk whatever dude, cope. there's been years of an ongoing rent-free fucking timeshare of fandom and authors in each other's headspaces and you're just fucking now figuring this out or hearing about the Wayward Daughters movement. just search the fucking tumblr tags or google it or something you oblivious numpties. You were apparently too busy peeing your pants crying everything was "just subtext" or "just meta" to realize fans and authors have been talking about a lot of shit for a long fucking time and already put shit on TV collaboratively.

Just. Tossing that the fuck out there for Patrick's remaining desperate followers to wrap their fucking skulls around.

and none of this, NONE OF THIS even brushes the surface of the actual history of reliable leakers or holders of generalized knowledge vs the people who have made a career out of being wrong for upwards of 7 years.

Somehow this dumb motherfucker can't figure out that even if it's all a coinkidink me knowing from the goddamn jump what the wholeassed intention was the second the season launched and who's pissed about what being cut might in the very least give me a rough fucking indicator of what jensen's looking to fix with Dean in the Winchesters. While ofc, Pat screamed to argue with me that it wasn't about letting go of the past bc Jensen was TOTES PERFECTLY CONTENT WITH THE ENDING before he got bricked in the face by the ET promo. He never gives up.

the funniest reality is they've spent so long trying to argue against the actual canon being the canon, and so poorly understand the canon, that they don't even understand fans have built in a metric fuckton of things into this show or attempted spinoffs over time. Like, those fans were literally talking to the authors about what the fuck they were doing all around and you guys didn't even apparently realize this during Wayward? And you literally crowed against everything like... people.... deadass... knew????????????? just because you could manage to piss off some 14 year olds that didn't know better. Fucking hell.

"NOBODY CAN KNOW WHAT THE AUTHORS WANT" no man, you're just the dumb motherfuckers that didn't. You were the illiterate bastards at the edge of the room that even the show authors looked at like that fucking red solo cup party pic.

hell i'm sure they'll try to blow that into some shit to salve their egos and feel large but no like not even as a particular anti threat or opposition or anything it was literally like "wow we're all collectively impressed people this stupid, stubborn, or tv illiterate exist, we kind of want to fucking study this like a bug."

A fucking fandom of shrieking cicadas oblivious to how loud and annoying the neighborhood considers them because they're too busy siren calling for weird fandom porn rights in canon discussions while being dragged all across the wholeassed internet and kingdom come by bluechecks ranging from media to psychologists to talking cats about that very shit and they're still making fucking confused cow sounds why the con markets got bleached.

And you know what? We didn't want credit any more than Wayward's folks did. Hell we were gonna keep it perfectly quiet so you couldn't fuck it up this time like yall did Wayward while claiming you didn't believe me until people that are my own antis now figured out what the fuck was happening. We were absolutely happy to leave you dumb motherfuckers in the dark.

But since it's out there now, yeah. Get the fuck out. We're the warriors that built this town. From dust.

Genuinely funny that these rubes are so fucking basic they can't draw the two point line between the How Wayward Happened dot and the Who And What I Talk About On My Fucking Blog From What Angle fucking dot. jesus christ. Don't even try to add the third data point dot of How The Winchesters Happened, you'll fucking shatter their mental capacity. Like there's a common fucking denominator here that I can't believe you guys haven't fucking figured out I have literally been posting about some of this since season nine, are you ok.

Oh wait considering you dumb motherfuckers were oblivious for years to the Literal Line Of Toy Ships At Wayward Cocktails that Berens specifically selected what from when while winking about not supposed to pick favorites all those many, many different years ago. You argued he was somehow on the wincest side because you were so fucking unplugged.

It all makes sense.

You guys genuinely don't know what fucking happened with Wayward. Omg.

[leporcide]

The Pinned Post

It's your local shapeshifter welcome home you fuckers. Age in your blog bio or I block :knife:

Important tags:

hollaring: this is literally just me yelling, personal posts idk myart: my art wee myfiction: my fanfiction, I write for whatever fandom is in my headspace at the moment *Please go to my AO3 though I post everything over there mailbox: actually super new tag for answers (i rarely get asks so) everything else: what it says on the tin, all my reblogged/personal posts for fandoms will be under their tags Rules:

-18+ Blog, Minor DNI please for the love of god -I try to tag things to the best of my ability but I am stupid so feel free to ask me to add tags to something -I like some dark shit. I won't lie. I'm not going to explain my trauma to you and get right the fuck out if you want to shame me for it. The block button is free and I use it to curate my own space. You should too. -I fandom hop often and wildly. I don't have dedication, only simp thoughts and nasty little gremlin hands.

-Requests, you can ask for either art or writing, mostly into only self-insert/oc/yn x canon stuff ngl it's my passion, my hobby, my beloved even

-Commissions, are usually open. in case you wanna 100% get me to draw you something

Recent Fics:

masterlist: coming soon besties

the cabin event: > cicadas in the background: Kisame Hoshigaki (Naruto) x reader, "Fresh air, scenic views, and a beautiful lake offer a perfect retreat when you need to escape life's troubles. But your peace, however, is shattered when rowdy campers move into the cabin next to yours and an eerie presence in the lake takes a keen interest in you."

> in the dark: kyojuro rengoku (demon slayer) x reader, drabble

[fictive-confessions]

right okay i'm a fictive from the same system as #⚠️👁🖤☣️ [she mainly puts confessions on fictionkinfessions + don't put his tag on this please] same source as well and i'm so sick of the rest of the system insisting that everyone is the exact same as they were in source. yes i still look Like That yes i would go back and yes i am mostly convinced that they're still real but i don't know why everyone else gets so pissy about it. i was in front earlier and the cohosts were there like "oh god no what's she gonna do, should we get a protector? whats she done with the host oh shit oh no" i'm fronting because the host fucking left front i'm not doing anything at all. in the opposite direction i also wish the rest of my sourcemates would stop. we can't do That to ourself, there is no point trying, and there is even less point in trying to scare everyone else. yes it is funny sometimes but most of the time it's just irritating. i have better things to be doing and none of this matters anymore i don't understand why we have to fight over source stuff all the time. i also don't understand why the group i USED TO be in is a problem now? they aren't real here. i can't do anything by myself. i have better things to be doing than being an asshole in headspace. oh extra fun that i didnt mention im also ""banned"" from fronting because of the source assumptions. hate it here <3 (sorry for ranting in your inbox :/)

.

[walimatu-library]

Welcome to the Library of Walimatu

Directory (sorted by genres)

Catalogue (tagged under "catalogue")

Links & Socials

Header image by jojo-ojoj

Q&A

Q1. What is the Library of Walimatu?

A. The Library of Walimatu in northeastern Nairuba is the second largest library in the world. It boasts an extensive collection of scholarly material dating back before the modern age. The library's vernacular mudbrick architectural style and extensive collection remain a source of awe and wonder, motivating many to make the long, arduous journey across the unforgiving sands of the Great Seniga desert.

Walimatu is the largest city in the Sudinka Empire, the largest nation in all of Nairuba. The city is famous worldwide for its status as the trading center of the continent, its multistory mudbrick buildings, and network of underground passageways.

Q2. What is this for?

A. It's for my worldbuilding project called Under Twin Stars as well as a couple of short stories.

Q3. Where can I read them?

A. I plan to upload my work on AO3 and Royal Road. I'll probably also make work and notes available to read on Google Drive.

Q4. Will you post illustrations?

A. Maybe, but assume I won't for the time being. I'm primarily a worldbuilder and writer and I haven't drawn seriously in years. Even when I did, it was nothing special. Right now, I'd prefer to focus on fleshing out the technical stuff and worry about the visuals later.

Q5. How often is the Library updated?

A. Honestly, whenever I have something pretty concrete to post, which depends on my headspace and what's going on. It's still in development, so I don't want to post something and then double-back on it later. Of course, all sources and information aren't reliable - but I want it to be deliberate on my part. Edits and revisions are still likely, but nothing big.

Recommended readings for newcomers

How the World Was Made

Beyond the Veil: A Brief Overview of the Heavens

The Nature of the Cosmos

Solana & Solus: The Twins

The Big Book of Gods

The Birth of Aldun

On the Divinity of Luan

The Origin of Man

The Great Coalessence

A Field Guide to the Fae

La-Telvari

The Fairy Menace (banned)

More readings are available in the directory sorted by tagged subject(s); the catalogue is also in the directory and lists all materials alphabetically.

Enjoy your visit to the Library!

[reimeichan]

Had therapy today, bless our therapist for bringing up that we're slated to go back to work in about 2 weeks and helped us really plot out our game plan for that, ie. figuring out our stressors, how we can ground ourselves, how we can work together as a team to get through work, etc. I (Cyan) am fairly nervous about going back to work and seeing how things pan out now that I'm fully aware that I'm part of a system, but I also know that I can trust the others within the system to help me out. Plus, we also have a strong external support system that we can lean on when things get too much.

We also talked about the latest fusion between old!Green and old!Black. Well, I say we. new!Green was the one who brought it up with the therapist. And... god, I feel so bad that I'm still struggling with this. Nearly everyone else in the system is either happy for them or neutral about the whole thing, but here I am, still grieving "losing" them even though they're not really gone. But in a way, they feel gone. And... I know new!Green understands how I feel. Right before therapy, we saw a letter that one of our partners had written to old!Black for our birthday, and both new!Green and I started getting really teary over that. But we had to set up our laptop for therapy, and couldn't dwell on it long.

So... yeah. I'm still struggling to accept that old!Green and old!Black have fused. I'm still struggling to understand what that means for me, and what that means for my relationship with new!Green. I'm happy and proud of them for achieving something so important to them, but I'm also upset that I can no longer see or hear them bickering and chatting with each other. I'm wistful for the past. I'm bad with change. I wish things could stay as they were, just keep the good things. But that's not how this world works, and that's not how this life works.

And... I guess I'm a little jealous of them, too. That they can so easily accept themselves as being parts of a whole person, instead of viewing themselves as... I don't know, individuals? Like, conceptually, I get it. I work together with all the other alters because we live in the same body, the same headspace. We're parts of one human person. But... I still see myself, and them, as separate people from me. I can't bring myself to accept that their experiences are also my experiences, their thoughts and feelings are mine. I suppose that's a dissociative barrier I still can't quite let go of. I wish I was farther along in my healing to be able to accept all these parts of me, but I also don't want to. I like us as we are, in a way. I like sharing my space with them. I like being able to tag in and out of reality, letting alters take over based on what they're good at or what they can handle. And I like hearing them fight and bicker and comfort and encourage each other. I'm... afraid of being lonely again, I guess. I like the noise and chatter in my brain, especially now that I'm actively a part of it.

I dont know, everything about this is so confusing. I wish I understood myself and my feelings better. But if anything, I'm glad that my therapist has been willing to help me work through these things, and I'm glad my headmates are giving me time and space to process everything.

[originalcontent]

On the Topic of Logic

Uuuuuugh okay. I don’t want to write a whole fucking essay in Skype of all things so here we go. Plus, I’m sure everyone is fucking tired of hearing from me rant from my polarizing anti-fascist biases. I guess I’m writing this here instead because while I will defend my ideals to the grave, it can get pretty exhausting.

If there’s something that I find morally objectionable, I have to go out of my way to argue it. I mean, I don’t always, I don’t even as much as I should, but leaving things unanswered gives me a gross feeling for a number of reasons. It’s fine if you’re looking to discuss things with me, but please, please, please actually look at my responses if that’s what you want to do? I can’t let other people in my direct circle of influence spread harmful ideologies in good conscious, I’m sorry. Something that people like to do is take my arguments and assume I’m making absolute statements, so I just want to say I’m not saying to never use logic, I’m not saying don’t call bullshit when necessary, I’m not saying violence is good. I’m sure you were all abundantly taught the merits of the converses by society already. You don’t need me to explain those to you. This isn’t a condemnation of well-accepted ideas, it’s just saying that there are flaws to them as well.

Part 1: Ethics do not follow formal logic

Before I start, I would like to ask a general favor. Please for the love of god, stop trying to explain logic and fallacies to me. I fucking know what a fallacy is. I’m especially partial to the straw man, or I must be, because that’s the one that I find used against me the most often. Some other fallacies that deserve honorable mentions. The slippery slope fallacy, that I may often seem to fall into. Except that historically, things actually are slippery slopes to bigger things. Plus, if you’re not going to speculate on potential consequences, what’s even the point of analyzing current events? I personally think it’s best to prepare for the worst case scenario, especially if the things you do to prepare are good and revolutionary acts that our society probably needs anyway. I know that I cannot predict the future. Next honorable mention is proof by repeated assertion. I will say statements and then a couple days/hours/minutes/whatever later, I will see the exact same arguments, again, that I had already refuted in the first place. I’m glad you like the nonviolent movements of the past in India and 60’s America! I’m glad you’re happy with the results! I hope that you can acknowledge that these movements were only successful because they were partnered with more radical, violent movements! Like, I understand that you don’t always want to read through all of the links I post, but in that case take my word for what they say, don’t just ignore them! And then there’s ad homenim. You know what, I think that itself needs its own section so let’s shelve that one and come back to it later. Same with false equivalencies, I’ll get to those soon. Point being I know what fallacies are. I know what logic is. I’m betting on the fact that most other people can conceptualize basic logic as well. They may not show their work every step of the way, but assuming that they don’t and that they need you to explain logic to them is incredibly disrespectful. If you’re telling someone to “be logical” then you’re really, really an asshole. If logic is flawed, sure, you can point that out, but that doesn’t discredit a whole argument, nor does it replace a counterpoint.

The title pretty much says it all here, but I’m currently taking philosophy classes, so let’s talk about formal logic.

First off, logic should not be your gold standard for truth. The (albeit very, very simplified) way that logic works is you take a set of precedents and deprive other statements from them. (You know, Socrates was a man, all men are mortal, therefore Socrates was mortal. Not rocket science.) The way you measure logic is if it’s valid or invalid, not true and untrue. That’s right folks, just because logic is invalid, that doesn’t mean the conclusion is false! And the reverse is also true. Assuming that logic and reality match up is my actual, absolute, personal favorite fallacy, the fallacy fallacy, the assumption that imperfect logic leads to a wrong conclusion. For example: “others using formal logic as the end-all of discussions frustrates 312, 312 is frustrated, so others must be abusing their abilities to cite formal logic.” There are plenty of other things that could have frustrated me, the logic here is unsound, but the conclusion is still true. (Apologies for passive-aggression, although to be honest I’m not feeling all that kind right now.) Furthermore “312 enjoys debating ideas, 312 is currently debating ideas, so 312 must be enjoying this!” Here are some true premises with perfect logic and a false conclusion.

You might argue for the first case that the result was just come up with by chance, but it can’t be independently accepted as truth because the premises didn’t contain enough information to form a valid conclusion. For the second you might argue that my issue is in my premises here. My statements were true, but they weren’t universally true. And then I would congratulate you on having come up with such a great and original points that had in no way ever occurred to me before you so graciously enlightened me. Then, we can proceed to break them down. The first example was in fact a case where precedents didn’t fit together into a clear message, and the second indeed did not have precedents that always held. But I can’t possibly think of a real-world example that doesn’t have clear and objective premises. Oh wait, now that I’m typing it a few examples are coming to me.

Am I straw-manning your argument? I’m very sorry. You know what, to clear up the confusion, why don’t you send me all of your opinions on these issues and logically why you have them, fully explained and everything. If anyone needs that from me, message me because I’ve literally already done that on several occasions.

In the meantime, I’m going to do my own little logical proof, right here.

Premises:

There is no objective moral truth

Logic without inherently true premises will never lead to inherently true conclusions

Conclusion: You can’t use fucking logic to discuss moral issues and have it be correct.

I may have skipped a few steps there, but I don’t have the patience and I think you get the idea. When discussing ethics, you have to make up your own criteria, your own precedents, because nothing about ethics is logical. Sure, you could argue lots of things. For example, that if people are good to each other then that helps society which therefore benefits the people, but not all people benefit from society, and who’s to say what makes any society better than anything else? I have a set of premises that I deem to be correct. They basically boil down to “A fair and just society for all people is good.” And how about “all people deserve basic human rights.” I don’t know what yours all are! I do know that I don’t have any rational explanation for these ideas aside from that I believe them to be right. Because that’s how this whole thing works. There’s no formula for right and wrong, so stop trying to find one. Instead just do your best to make the world a better place however you feel that’s possible.

Part 2: Ad homenim does not necessarily apply in cases of politics.

Well, if that isn’t a provocative title. As I stated above, nothing in ethics is right by any objective measure. I really wish we could set down some objective truths, like say, genocide is a bad thing, but apparently that’s fucking controversial. So here we go.

I do need to put a huge disclaimer on this to say what I am not saying. I am not saying I think you can just take anything that anyone you don’t like says is false. 7+5=12 no matter who the person who says that is. As much as I hate it, you can’t always just listen to assholes and take the opposite of whatever they say (although honestly that’s not as bad a strategy as one would think.) I’m not saying that it never applies, I’m saying that it doesn’t necessarily apply.

For anyone who doesn’t know, ad homenim is the practice of targeting the person who made an argument rather than the argument itself. It is my belief that that should be reserved for purely logical debates, not as applied to society at large.

Some context for what specifically inspired me to make this post, earlier this week there’s been a theme of discussing violent resistance to nazism and fascism. On Wednesday someone posted, in response, “‘An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind’ -Mahatma Gandhi.” I made a comment that we should keep in mind all of the bad things Gandhi had done. The response was of course “ad homenim.” I had to go right then, but when I got back there were a shit ton of messages. One person said that I hadn’t argued with the quote, I had just made a statement, to which his response was “why bother putting that there in the first place.” Someone (bless her soul) cited the fallacy fallacy at him, and he responded with “well yeah but this was a very simple case of ad homenim. You shouldn’t use fallacies like that because they’re very easy to refute.” The two who had tried to defend me started trying to address him and the quote, and they kept getting the response of “well what 312 said wasn’t even relevant to the quote, you need to argue with the quote itself.” They were effectively shut down in terms of having an actual discussion, and I’m sorry for that because I had supplied him (and one other) with the means by which to do that. By the time I was online again I scrolled up to read the whole exchange, but everyone had moved on from this topic and it was abundantly clear that no one wanted to return to it, so I let it be. Then of course, I did as I do and grew bitter that I hadn’t been there to argue and started to stew in my bitterness until this post came into being. There we have it, the secret origin story of my unbridled rage.

Call that bullshit for unreliable narration, whatever. I’m not here to talk about that exchange any more than I’m going to express my pissed-off-ness at a couple people. I’m going to talk about why my original statement did not qualify as ad homenim!

I stress, earlier this week we had already been discussing violent resistance. We had already made all sorts of arguments on both sides. We had already pointed these people to a number of sources discussing why nonviolence is objectionable. Posting an image with this quote that all of us probably already knew added nothing new to this discussion. This quote did not stand alone in place of arguments. All it really managed to achieve was bringing famous people into the midst, in this case Gandhi. Whether or not you realized it, posting that quote was an entirely ethos-based argument. Ethos, for those who haven’t taken an english class, refers to an rhetorical tactic that appeals to authority. Thus it’s separate from pathos, emotional rhetoric, and logos, logical rhetoric, aka the literal only one of these three where logical fallacies apply in the first place. Like actually. The only response to appeals to authority is attack of character? How do you even expect me to argue with that quote? There’s nothing to argue! All the quote is is a baseless claim making a general statement meant to be inspirational. Which is great if there’s something new to take from it, but there’s not. Seriously, the fuck do you expect me to say? “No, actually the first person would lose an eye, then the second person would lose an eye, and then everyone else would be left alone”? Oh huh, I guess there is a logical response to that quote, my bad.

Actually, if you’ll indulge a tangent, remember when up there discussing fallacies I said I’d come back to false equivalencies later? Specifically the whole “eye for an eye” or “hate breeds hate” kind of thing. Other people on this website have stated that you can’t equate the hate of oppressors to the hate of the oppressed for their oppressors in far more eloquent terms than I can. Nazis hate jewish people, for instance, because they view them as inferior and inherently deserving of death. Jewish people might hate nazis because they literally want them dead. That hate is not just as bad! Violence coming from jewish people is self-defense! They can’t make a choice about their ethnicity, and nazis will want them dead regardless, whereas nazi ideologies are absolutely a choice, it’s people choosing to believe they’re superior and everyone else should be killed.

Back on the topic of ad hominem, in terms of politics and social change, everyone has an agenda. Many quotes seem very reasonable if you just take them at face value. You need to look at who’s saying them and why they’re saying them to understand what they mean. For example, the statement “Make America Great Again” might not sound too bad in of itself, but when you look at the platform associated with that line, you’ll realize that that’s a white supremacist statement. There’s nothing about that statement that’s white supremacist. It’s advocating for greatness, that’s all. I’m sure you know that to not be true. Political figures do this all the time, where they make a general, wide-reaching statement that you can critically analyze to see it doesn’t necessarily benefit who you think it would. (Such as conservatives calling for “safer neighborhoods,” when really what they want is stronger police forces.) Or where they call an initiative something seemingly unprovocative while including not-so-great policy in it if you bother to look past clever wording. Who says things matters. Who pushes things matters. Freedom and opportunity mean very different things to me then they do to libertarians, for instance. We could say the exact same sentence about wanting to protect freedom and opportunity, and it would still mean completely different things. So I’m just saying that if you decide to focus on statements themselves rather than who’s saying them, especially in the case of anything even remotely having to do with politics, you’re blind sighting yourself.

I had more to say, but to be honest I’m somewhat tired. Sorry, I’ll try to write more later.

One more thing:

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/playing-devils-advocate/ Normally when I send this one to people I make sure to do it very nicely, but you know what? Right now I’m not feeling very nice. The role of a devil’s advocate is to represent perspectives not present in order to get somewhere constructive from a different angle. The role is not to argue against any points brought up. Read this, memorize this, love this, learn to live by this, I am actually 100% serious here.

That’s it for now.

Hope you got something out of it. I’ll probably write something about opinions, that’s another important issue. Well, 312 out.