#god thank you big sky for this outfit choice

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

jensen ackles as arthur morgan..........

[m1d-45]

second chances

summary: baizhu knows he isn’t your favorite, but he still finds himself hoping for the impossible. maybe, with enough prayer, he’ll get it.

word count: ~2k

-> warnings: major spoilers for baizhu story quest + lore + liyue archon quest, based on me and my experience (vaguely disliked baizhu at first due to partial information, immediately changed my mind w his quest and now adores him, doesn’t have kirara)

-> gn reader (you/yours) and unspecified traveller (they/them)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr

< masterlist >

baizhu knows he isn’t the most favored.

from the first moment the traveller set foot in his office, he knew. he wasn’t met with anything special, no big flair from his god when you first saw him. it was to be expected, with how much time he spent praying—could gods have regulars?

it was simple. a quick ‘oh, the snake talks?’ thrown his way, a comment or two about his choice of outfit or the jade pendant hanging off his vision, and that was that. mostly, you seemed preoccupied with qiqi and the funeral parlor’s consultant, something to be expected. he was a quick stop on your journey, a note in the margins about the doctor you met at the pharmacy. it made sense, of course, that you’d be occupied with the death of rex lapis during the failed rite of descension, and the return of osial and beisht surely took priority over him. he offered little, only a dialogue or two actually shared between him and the traveller when you were present. he’d gathered as much of his energy, saved it for your arrival to make a good impression, so… it made sense you’d fret over qiqi, constantly forgetful as she was.

it made sense. he’d… made his peace. he had more to worry about, surely, what with orders to fulfill and his own condition to manage. maybe not more important—never, not maybe, what was he thinking?—but certainly more.

when your attention on qiqi flared, spurred by some unknown whim, he delighted a bit in being close to her, even if your thoughts on him weren’t entirely positive.

it was fair. you liked qiqi, and were concerned. it made sense you didn’t know every detail of teyvat, and since he’s never had the chance to come to you and spell out his story directly, it made sense you’d make some assumptions.

“i guess that makes sense, but still… qiqi deserves better.”

she probably did, in truth, but hearing it from you…

he’s had his vision for years by this point. he’s hd it for as long as he’d had changsheng, to be exact, and she was always able to remind him of exactly how long that had been.

“ssseven yearsss, four monthsss, thirteen daysss, and counting…”

“ah… thank you, changsheng.”

he knew he wasn’t special. out of the thousands of vision wielders across teyvat, only a handful have started having their constellations appear in the sky. just under a hundred, by his approximation, but he tried not to count. if he sought out the proper numbers, tried to pin down a percentage of those with a vision that had a chance to hold their god’s attention, then he’d start trying to find patterns. he was a doctor, patterns and rhythms were his literal job, but he knew that wouldn’t end well.

(a librarian, an alchemist, a lawyer: did you perhaps favor more studious types? a bartender, an exorcist, a detective: or those with a drive in their lives? a nobody, a traveller, a wandering samurai: or those seeking one out for themselves?)

there wasn’t a pattern. it was random. and part of him hated it.

baizhu had had his vision for seven years, eight months, and thirteen (was it fourteen? the sky was growing dark) days, and had never once seen his stars in the sky.

he had one. he had a constellation, something he knew was rare among vision wielders, but it didn’t guarantee him a spot in the sky any time soon. kirara had hers long before she had her chance in the heavens—they’d spoken about that, both hesitant to show the other their divine gift, but willing to speak of its existence.

and now kirara’s turn had passed. though her vision didn’t shine any brighter, he could see the pride in her smile when she dropped off another delivery at the pharmacy. sign here, check these, make sure this is what you ordered, goodbye have a good day, pretend like yours doesn’t weigh more after seeing hers.

it wasn’t as if he was unremarkable. a perfectly healthy man who had thrown himself into illness to find the cure for all of them? surely that was interesting, wasn’t it? but it wasn’t his time, he was being impatient, slipping back to the same mindset he condemned his patients for.

“patience. medicine doesn’t work in an instant, and you’ll need to be taking this for the next week at minimum.”

“but it’s so bitter!”

“then tell me, what tastes worse: bile, or this pill? if you want to stop being sick, you need to take it.”

patience.

qiqi was blessed with a place in the stars near instantly after she’d gotten her vision, but she was not the norm. perhaps his expectations were weighted, then? or maybe you disliked his work entirely? he didn’t like entertaining what ifs, but when various aches kept him up, there was little else he could do while he waited for his medication to take effect. patience, he tried to remind himself, counting his breaths. be patient. wait, be calm, don’t agitate yourself. count in, count out, are your breaths getting shorter? just stay calm, be patient…

the first time he saw you, he knew you were coming. he’d saved as much energy as he could, doing his best to make a good impression. but now, with changsheng nudging him awake urgently, pushing him into his shoes and putting his glasses on for him, the first thing he’d expected was the millelith, maybe, or perhaps the ministry of civil affairs. maybe he was needed urgently, maybe something had happened to qiqi, maybe he was late for his medication and he’d get terrible headaches if he wasn’t quick- oh, but then why would she bother to coil around his shoulders?

and yet, out of all those possibilities, none were correct.

“hey! who’s talking about me behind my back?”

“changsheng, qiqi meant that as a compliment. there’s no need to be upset.”

it had been so long since he’d felt your light, far longer since he’d been properly healthy. he’d forgotten how it felt to walk without the dull ache in his joints, and yet here he was. standing by gui and a familiar looking child, speaking with your traveller. it was easy to say words he didn’t choose, his throat not getting dry despite the lack of his morning tea.

the quest was long, and by the end he should have been exhausted. between taking on jialiang’s sickness to turning him into a zombie, he should have been out of commission for the next few days. as it was he had a nasty cough, his breath coming shorter than typical… but that was it. he took his regular medication at the dinner with your traveller, the linger of your aura on them still seeming to dull his pains. how curious, that you could cure ailments even he couldn’t name anymore…

“baizhu, are you alright?” idly, he wondered if the traveller noticed the change in their voice when they were speaking for you. it always sounded a bit lighter, a bit of your emotions bleeding through… a pity he’d never know why. “today must have been taxing for you…”

all eyes were on him now, even qiqi’s. “i’m doing fine,” he said simply, taking another sip of his tea. “better than normal, if anything, which i have to owe to our guest.”

paimon still seemed nervous. “but what about when we leave? what if everything hits you all at once? normally you stay at the pharmacy, and using your power so much…”

a fair assessment. while he was no stranger to combat, to be thrown in the middle of a pack of such vicious hilichurls was a shock. still, he had made it through—even if, privately, he doubted it would have been so clean without you there. “i will be fine. even if my condition declines, i am well equipped to handle flare ups.”

it seemed the whole group was hesitant to let him go. changsheng insisted he stay up until three hours had past since the traveller left, when his limbs again felt heavy and his head began to hurt. something odd was stirring in his chest, and he was eager to get to bed before it sparked into anything more. it was reasonable, he knew, but there were only so many prescriptions to prepare before he had nothing left to do. gui had long since went to bed, leaving just him in the lobby of the pharmacy, quietly double checking his stock of herbs.

eventually, he stood from his seat, returning the sweet flowers to their proper place. he held up an hand to let changsheng climb up his arm, closing up the pharmacy. she curled around his shoulders twice, a familiar weight. the night was cool, a slight breeze bumping the chain of his glasses against his cheek. it had been a long few days, and he was happy that everything was settled. he’d done all he could for jialiang, and he and his family hopefully wouldn’t be coming back for quite some time. back to routine…

“…baizhu?”

he checked the lock with a quick tug, “yes? what is it?”

“the ssstarsss… they’re due, aren’t they?”

ah. the cycles of constellations, switching through the sky. if he thought about it.. yes, they were, weren’t they?

“by my memory, they are. why?”

her head was turned, looking off to the part of the sky not obscured by the roof of the pharmacy.

“…changsheng-“

“look.”

“it’s late.” his heart began to pick up, false hopes being raised. patience, he chided himself, but what follower did not wish for acknowledgment from their god? “we should go to sleep before we fall too far out of schedule.”

“baizhu! i know you have better sssenses than that.”

perhaps he did. his vision burned where it was clipped to his side, invisible vines creeping up toward his heart. “don’t be too hasty,” he said quietly, the words tasting as bitter as his pills.

don’t be too hasty. you could still be wrong. don’t get your hopes up. be patient.

one hand went to his hip, undoing the clasp of his vision, the other settling on the railing. a few clouds dotted the sky, but he lifted his vision anyway, searching for any stars tinted green.

everything happened at once. the terrace was replaced with an ocean of skies, the slight mumble of “i do have a guaranteed…” getting lost in the whirlwind around him. he was weightless, trapped in by an invisible box, only dimly aware of the fact that his pain had once again disappeared. he was floating, dressed in the attire he normally saved for formal events—dressed in what he’d put on when you’d first arrived—with no sight of the pharmacy below him. it was just him and changsheng, him and changsheng and the bright light that came from everywhere, lifting him from his unseen prison.

a laugh, a smile, a rush of power flooding through him, and when he next set foot in front of the pharmacy, he did so with a new gleam to his vision. he could hear a door open behind him—qiqi, if he had to guess, as why wouldn’t she be drawn to the power the adepti could only hope to imitate?—but couldn’t turn, breathless.

“welcome home, doc.. it’s good to see you.”

it had taken seven years, four months, and 25 days, but he was here. and it was more than he could have ever asked for.

[lonelycowgirls]

Been There All Along

Hellooooo.

She's here and she's beautiful. Harry and Stella are complex characters because humans generally tend to be. So, keep that in mind when reading. I left my desk last night and found it hard to accept that these two people don't actually exist. Ya girl's a little too ✨invested✨ in her made-up people.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this. She's a long one, so get a nice hot drink and settle in.

Please like, reblog and follow if you enjoy it!

My asks are also open for feedback and ideas to how this universe can continue.

I give you... Part 2.

Nel xo

~

Where Harry goes on a lovely Sunday stroll with an old friend and things get reminiscent.

Read Part One here.

Warnings: angst | swearing | mentions of blood

Word count: 4.1k

Harry took a deep breath in as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight outside his London home. Through the busy Saturday traffic he could just about hear the birds chirping. He loved days like that, where the sky was wall-to-wall blue, where the air was chilly but comfortable if you warmed up and chased the sun's rays. He pulled the front door shut and trotted down the three steps that led to the pavement below. The terraced South Kensington abode he shared with Stella was stifling him. So, when Ellis texted to say she was in town for work, he'd jumped at her offer of a cup of coffee and a stroll.

He'd left Stella and the cats catching up on the previous night's episode of Love Island. She was due for an evening shift that night so she just wanted to chill after making a Sunday roast for the two of them. They'd had a long few nights talking things through and making up for lost time. There was rather a lot that they needed to think about and a lot of things they both needed to consider, they'd realised.

He pulled his sunglasses down from where they'd been rested atop his head and set off in the direction of the tube station. He kept his black scarf wrapped over his mouth and chin, for warmth and in the hopes of harbouring some anonymity for as long as possible. He could usually get away with it - it had been over a decade and both he and Stella had gotten very good at sneaking around so as not to be noticed, but it was always a challenge.

Walking along the pavement, he noticed the woman in front of him and marvelled at her wonderful shoe choice. Knee-high boots of dark green snakeskin. She looked great in her dark brown suede coat with its marabou feather trim. Of course, he couldn't just stop and tell her that he liked her outfit, but in that moment he really wished he could. He took a step off the pavement edge and overtook her, turning his head to nod in acknowledgement, being sure not to linger too long.

As he approached the station he began to get slightly anxious as he saw the large crowds funnelling in and out of the station. He questioned why he'd recommended that he and Ellis should meet there a little over half an hour before. He kept his head down and adjusted his tote over his shoulder.

"Hey, stranger." He heard Ellis before she squeezed his arm through his big puffer jacket. She said it close to him and pulled him into a hug quickly. She knew to be discreet so as not to draw any unnecessary attention. He bent slightly to bring her close for a quick squish before letting go with a smile.

"So good to see you, mate," he responded. "Love the hat." He said, tugging the green woollen brim of it over her eyes in jest. She laughed and stepped back to start walking.

"Thanks, dickhead," She replied. "Come on then, show me where you get your pretentious non-fat, no-foam, sugar-free latte's, Mr Hollywood."

"Oh, God you sound like Stella." He grumbled, still with a smirk as he led the way to Florence's Patisserie. They did the best lemon shortbreads, he made a mental note to remember to grab one for Stella.

"I'm only pulling your leg. We have much to discuss though." She looked at him with a knowing, mischievous glint in her eye. Ellis was always the 'wise' one of their friendship group. Always the one to oversee drama and try to distil it. She and Stella had always gotten along, since school, but she'd always been closer to Harry.

It was only a five-minute walk from the station to the café and Harry was glad of it as he'd started hearing whispers from the pedestrians flocking the streets.

"It never gets any less weird, does it." Ellis said rhetorically, as she glanced at a group of girls with their camera phones pointed at the pair. Harry gave her a tight-lipped smile. It definitely didn't bother him as much as it used to. It only really became a burden to him when his friends began to feel uncomfortable being around him. It terrified him to think that he could have lost crucial friendships in the past because of it. People that could have been a big part of his life had he not been famous. It made him that much more thankful for his blonde friend of over a decade, and the feeling warmed his belly.

The familiar pretty millennial pink writing quickly became visible in the distance and Harry sped up, seeing the end in sight. He held open the door for Ellis to step through and followed her, asking what she fancied.

"They do every alternative milk you could think of, if that's something you're into now?" Ellis gave him a look.

"Just good old cows milk will do for me, lad." He nodded and stepped up to order.

"Can I have a triple shot flat white, please? And a," he motioned for Ellis to order.

"Just a regular vanilla latte, please," She said, smiling. "Oh, and one of your delicious-looking pan-au-chocolat's as well, please." She thanked Harry for paying and they moved to the end of the counter to wait. Harry asked her about what she was doing for work in London while adding a sugar sachet to his coffee. They were halfway up the road when Harry stopped.

"Shit, I forgot about Stella."

"What?"

"I forgot to get her anything," Ellis clutched her paper cup for warmth. "Wait here for a sec." He rushed back in the direction of the shop but slowed when he heard a camera shutter. He looked to the side and spotted a paparazzo getting out of a car with a huge camera hanging around his neck. He inhaled sharply, nostrils flaring and turning back to hurry to pull Ellis across the road.

"Never-fucking-mind."

"Bloody hell, Harry how do you keep living like this?"

"Right, so tell me the story. I've heard parts of it from Stell, but I always like to get both sides." Harry sighed and took a sip from his coffee.

"What's Stell's side?" He side-eyed Ellis through his sunglasses, genuinely curious. Ellis side-eyed him right back.

"I'm sure what she's told me is what she's told you," they continued on towards the Heath and Harry swung the rickety old wooden gate open for Ellis to walk ahead. He took another sip of coffee and looked in front of him at the expanse of grassy hills, their destination; a rusting metal bench that sat at the peak. "She feels guilty about the way she handled the situation, but she doesn't regret it." She paused for a moment in thought, he marched by her side, beginning to see his breath exhale into the air as he panted. "She just wants you to be a bit more present, I think."

Harry thought back to their confrontation at MSG.

“You’d know all about it if you listened to anyone talk about anything that wasn’t to do with you.”

Stella always knew the buttons needed to push Harry to another level. It really hurt him to hear her say that. He'd always felt like he made an effort to listen to others - above all, to listen to her. But it definitely made him think twice about the way he'd been treating the people he cared about the most.

"Yeah, we spoke a lot about that. I'm trying, El."

"I wanna say I know you are, but to be completely honest, I don't know if you are or aren't... because we don't really speak much anymore do we?" Harry sighed and rolled his eyes, did all the women in his life recently come together in a meeting and decide it was time to give him a hard time? "Don't stress, I'm just saying." Ellis held her hand up in surrender before he could respond as she watched his brows furrow into a harsh line.

"I thought I was bloody trying, but I had so many exciting things lined up and Stell was so busy with work and..." Ellis pushed for him to continue.

"You can say what you want Harry, I won't tell Stell."

"Argh, she's just infuriating when she gets like this. Like, I don't think she realises how much pressure I'm under every bloody day. She literally ranted at me over the phone over nothing and then she laid me out in front of the people I work with and... listen, I don't wanna sound like a misogynistic prick but sometimes I just don't need all this... this feminine rage!" He finished, his free hand animated until it slapped back down to the top of his thigh. Ellis took a moment before the laughter pushed through her lips into a cackle. Harry snapped his head to look at her and then couldn't help but laugh a little. "Why are you laughing?" He asked in a tone of desperation.

"Oh, Harry you make me laugh. Just say your girlfriend is pissing you off, for God's sake. It's fine! I'm sure I piss Michael off on a daily. You've been with Stella for what? 10 years now? I mean bloody hell if she weren't pissing you off sometimes then I would think something was wrong."

"12 years actually," Harry smirked, tipping his head back to finish off the dregs of his coffee. "Honestly, we argue and bicker but she's never looked at me like she did in New York. She's the best, you know that, but she does do my head in when she gets into these... moods."

"Is it her being in a mood or is she just, I dunno, crying out for you?" She looked at him and he looked contemplative. "I've gotta be honest, and you already know how much I admire your relationship and how you've been able to make it last, but I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with you."

"Meaning?" That stung, but Harry tried not to take offence, he knew Ellis had no ill intent.

"You need to remember how hard it must be for Stella to be in a public relationship. You're literally one of the most famous men in the world right now and she has to navigate that every day," Ellis looked ahead of them, thinking about how much hate Stella got every day and how Harry never defended her. She got a little pissed off at the thought of that. "And half the time you're not even around to make all the agg worth it." She blurted out, taking a gulp of her latte and wincing at the burn at the back of her throat. Harry sighed heavily, growing agitated.

"She kept saying stuff like, 'remember who you are', on the phone. What the fuck is that about? Seriously, she can't expect me to be who I was when we were 16."

"I don't think she really means that, mate."

"Well, last time I checked, she was thoroughly enjoying the perks of being with 'one of the most famous men in the world'." Harry said, smirking cheekily in Ellis's direction.

"Don't be a cocky git, H." Ellis shut him down. She hoped that he hadn't become that person.

Harry chewed his cheek to keep from smiling, he was only winding her up but he knew he could let his ego get the best of him sometimes. He was self-aware, but he tried to go easy on himself after attending therapy sessions over it for many years. How was he not meant to get ahead of himself every once in a while when he had women, and men, lining up to tell him how amazing, handsome and talented he was? Holding up signs asking if they could call him, Daddy? Offering him jobs left and right, in industries he never thought he had any business getting involved in, with an insane amount of zeros added to each cheque they sent Jeff's way?

Stella always kept him on the ground. She'd check him, toot sweet, and with no remorse, and he needed that. But he remembered all the memories they made when they were younger, back in the 1D days. She'd fucking loved being Harry's girlfriend, that was a hill he would gladly die on. She'd loved the fast-paced, glamour of it all. She'd loved being by his side and knowing that almost every girl in the world wanted to be in her position. Travelling the world and fucking their way through tour dates. Waking up, naked and barely remembering any words in the English language but each other's names, and being too in love to worry about it. She'd stayed in the best hotel rooms money could buy and he'd flown her out first class whenever she'd had time off at university. She'd eaten at the best restaurants cities had to offer. He thought back to buying expensive lingerie for her, scheduling it to be delivered while he was rehearsing and returning to the many hotel rooms they stayed in to find her wearing it, sprawled on the bed and looking better than he could ever have imagined. He always marvelled at the way she could take his breath away. Every damn time.

She'd lived every 19-year-old's dream.

"I know she loved being with a pop star when she was a teenager, even into her early 20s... that life was new and exciting, for all of us. We all got swept up in it, including you." Ellis snapped him out of his wandering mind and he frowned, nodding. It was true, Harry's life went from zero to 60 overnight and thus so did Stella's. He made sure to take his friends with him for as long and as far as he could. They had amazing times. But everything changed when Stella graduated into midwifery, it was her dream and she was damn good at it. But her life became very serious, all of a sudden. Harry had begun to feel inadequate as a partner, he found her so impressive and it made him feel inferior. What he had to offer, she didn't want or need anymore. She had this wonderful qualification to bring life into the world, after dedicating years of her life to educating herself for it.

It caused havoc in their relationship, and confrontation began to bubble to the surface in ways it hadn't before. They'd nearly separated but decided to push through. Stella took a year out and Harry knew it was time to call it quits with the band. They'd spent time at home for the first time since Harry got on the X Factor and it changed everything. They both knew they had become a forever thing.

She gave up everything for him, to make it work. Now, perhaps it was time for him to consider doing the same. He looked at his friend, his brows deep in a frown behind his sunglasses.

"She's a grown woman now, Harry. She needs stability and support, she needs a man." Ellis nudged his side, smirking with a wink. "Her man."

"Alexa, play BBC Radio Two." Stella called to the little robotic woman who lived in her bedroom, before she began to ascend the stairs, cup of tea in hand. Delilah, the ginger Maine Coon Harry had brought home almost three years ago, dipped in and out of her legs to follow her, always her shadow. Their other cat, a Ragdoll named Percy, stayed in the living room. He'd jumped, or more accurately plopped, down into the dip in the sofa that Stella left behind when she'd gotten up. Percy was Stella's granddad's beloved pet and she'd taken him in after he passed away. He was 13 years old and yearned for a much slower life in his old age. But she adored him.

Stella and Delilah crossed the landing towards the main bedroom and while Stella went into the ensuite, the cat made haste to sit underneath her dressing table, knowing she would soon be required to keep her owner's feet warm by cuddling up on top of them while makeup was carefully applied.

The figure in the mirror over the sink stared back at Stella, with bags under its eyes and hair pulled up in a messy - not even a nice messy - bun with flyaways sticking out all over the place. She shook her head with a sigh and flicked the cold tap on to splash water over her face, in an attempt to bring her dull skin back to life. Work was killing her, she'd leave one shift, only to be back in for a double six hours later. It'd been a few days since she'd flown back from New York and she'd been almost flat out since. She hoped it was a temporary thing, due to staff members calling in sick and kept her fingers crossed it would die down soon.

The radio had been purely background noise until she heard the familiar notes and dulcet tones of her other half.

"You know it's not the same as it was..."

"You've got that right, babe," she chuckled sadly to herself. She thought back to the night Melanie gave birth to baby Molly and took a long shaky breath inwards.

Wednesday 21 September 2022

The room was dark, all but silent apart from a few monotonous beeps signalling Melanie's heart was still beating. Stella remembered the first time she'd been privy to a situation where all that mattered was that the beeps kept coming. One at a time, steady and consistent, that's all that was needed. She'd had nightmares where the beeps stopped. Dead. Silence.

George's voice, calm but stoic, shook her out of her daze. "You did everything you could, Stella. Dr. Brooks knows what she's doing, this baby will be fine." Stella looked up at him beside her, dressed in his blue labour scrubs, hairnet and mask.

"She has to be, George." Her voice was shaking, what had just happened was one of the most traumatic labours she'd come up against. She couldn't help but blame herself. After all, she'd been up for close to 22 hours by then. She wasn't up to assisting in Mel's labour, she'd been selfish in her choice to rush back and take over. She raised a wobbly hand up to her forehead and rubbed, willing herself not to cry.

Dr. Brooks worked skilfully and moved with absolute purpose, decades of experience had made her hands nimble. This baby needed to come out quickly and efficiently. Melanie had already lost a lot of blood and they couldn't afford for the baby to be starved of oxygen.

Stella closed her eyes and breathed deep.

"Take deep breaths for me, Mel." Stella was between Melanie's legs and it had been nearly an hour of intermittent pushing, to no avail. How could that be when she was fully dilated? "Come on, I know you can do this."

"I can't, I ca-can't." Melanie stuttered above her, taking huge drags from the gas and air, nearing unconsciousness.

"I don't think she's getting any contractions now, G," Stella stated, eyes wide in early panic as she looked at her general manager for help. Stella had already had to cut into Melanie in an attempt to accommodate the baby's head and shoulders, but she was just not budging.

"Stay calm. Mel, Melanie," George spoke gruffly over Stella's head and she snapped her head to look at his sudden move to the top of the bed. Melanie's head had gone slack, the spout of the gas and air tube hanging from her lips that were rapidly turning blue.

"Fuck." Stella whispered, barely audible. The following moments were a blur. She looked down at her gloved hands, gloves that were once blue but had turned red. She looked down at her scrubs, red, all the way down to her knees. "Fuck."

"Alright, here she is," Stella startled out of her reverie with the cry of a newborn. A beautiful newborn baby and it was possibly the most gorgeous sound she'd ever heard. The relief nearly took her out at the knees. George threw an arm around Stella's shoulders and squeezed and she smiled for the first time in what felt like days. Her ears pricked up as they searched for the all-important sound and there it was. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Under the flowing water of the hospital shower, Stella felt numb. She rested her head on her shoulders and let the droplets run down her body, breathing deeply. She thought about Harry. She wished he was there, it made her face crumble for a moment and she let a fist hit the shower wall in frustration. She might have fucked up her job and her relationship in one night, impressive even by her standards.

Stepping out in a rough, clinically pressed white towel that probably took off a layer of skin as she rubbed it up and down her limbs, she'd never felt more drained. She was tired to her bones. A friend on another ward, Angel had travelled in to bring Stella some clothes as she only lived a short walk away. She'd left them in Stella's locker for her to collect before going on her shift.

She dragged the velour trackie bottoms up her legs and threw the hoodie over her head, forgoing a bra - there was no way the girls were going to be constrained while she was in this mental state, that might've actually driven her to the brink.

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and tried to get the image of Melanie's unconscious face out of her mind. Baby and mother were both alive. Melanie was torn up, but she was alive. That's what mattered.

Towelling her hair dry, she couldn't wait to get home, get into bed and most likely cry herself to sleep. Throwing her bloodied scrubs into the wash bin next to the lockers and grabbing her bag from her locker she left and pushed the door to the staff changing area open. Had it always weighed a tonne? Shuffling in Angel's sliders that were a size too big for her, she smiled softly at Val who was still at the front desk. She'd probably finished, gone home and come back in the same time Stella had been dealing with Melanie. Val smiled smugly and looked to her right. Stella followed her gaze and nearly doubled over when her eyes landed on him.

"Oh my god," she sputtered through a breath. "Harry."

He looked up at the sound of her voice, his eyes fluttered open and he shook his head slightly to adjust to his surroundings. Vision clearing and landing on her, he rose from the hard plastic chairs and Stella finally broke down. Her face crumbled at the pure comfort he brought just by being near. He was wearing what he'd worn to the arena the night before.

"Harry, have you been here all night?" She sobbed and he welcomed her to step into him bringing his hands to cup her cheeks, catching her tears with his thumbs. He nodded subtly, his brows pinching in the middle, exhausted and emotional. She dropped her bag to the floor and craned her neck slightly to push her lips to his, short quick pecks as he stroked the skin under her eyes.

"I love you," he whispered. "Please, don't ever run away again."

"I love you too, I'm sorry, baby." She whispered back, stroking his hair back and scratching the back of his neck.

"And you flew right after her..." Ellis said wistfully, looking at her friend as they neared the metal bench at the top of the Heath.

"Yeah... not gonna be winning any awards for eco-friendliness any time soon." He joked.

"Fair play, you can be a bloody romantic sod when you want to be, H." She marvelled, looking out to the skyline below them. He looked out to watch the rest of London going about their lives. An older couple caught his eye, holding hands and walking in step with each other down the hill. He thought about Stella for the umpteenth time that day; that was nothing new. They weren't perfect, but that night when she'd helped bring new life into the world, they'd brought new life into their relationship. And watching the pair of strangers continue their stroll, as the man brought his partner into his side to kiss the top of her head, he knew it would all be worth it in the end.

Because she'd been there all along.

----

Hope you enjoyed this little glance into Harry and Stella's world. If you've made it this far, I love ya!

See you next time.

Nel xo

Itty bitty taggy listy:

@lomlhstyles | @jessitpwk

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress 2024 #18-21✨

oh... shit, it's been a month since the last update huh 💦

Well, I hope it's very obvious why that is! In the few weeks before the announcement, I was preparing marketing posts and promo arts so I didn't want to ruin the surprise via a devlog!

Weekly Progress #18

Programmed SYVNH gallery

Made a programming to do list

Updated variables

[Fan project] Planning

Tested SYVNH main game, Side B

Programmed cheat codes

Programmed choice jumping

Made marketing plan and sketches

Updated SYVNH Guide

Drafted Post Mortem

Refined countdown sketches

(SYVNH as a whole project was finished at this point)

Weekly Progress #19

Fin 4 Promo art

Generated 14 SFB BGs

Tested SFB shading methods

Rendered Avia SFB sprite

Play tested for Canvas Menagerie

Scheduled SYVNH announcements and promo posts

Rendered Raven SFB base sprite

Wrote 981 words for KHP

(SYVNH full game release announcement was made at this point)

Weekly Progress #20

Rendered Raven SFB sprite

[Fan Project] flat color (x4)

Worked on [BL RPG] world building & outline

Sketched [BL RPG] chibis

Revised SYVNH Guide/Post Mortem

Sketched [BL RPG] faces

Weekly Progress #21

Drafted SYVNH game page updates

Finished Dove SFB sprite

Evaluated SFB fight scenes

Finished 4/4 [fan project] illustrations

Started P^3 designs

Released SYVNH!! 🎉🎉🎉

I'm sure everyone knows with how often I've been saying it, buuuut!!

The full version of Stuck in a Yandere Visual Novel...HELP!! is now released and available to play for free!!

Itch is currently down for me so I hope that link I copied from previous posts will work once it goes back up.

At 2.5 years of work, this has been my longest creative project yet. I think I've said everything I could in the post-mortem for the project. It has been a huge mountain for me to climb and I'm glad I finally got through it. A lot of things have changed since I started working on this project, some good, some bad, most of which I can't really discuss. But it is over and I am proud of myself for it.

I'm also really relieved that folks have been enjoying the ending! I was definitely very worried that I did not drop enough hints and it would come way too out of left field.

So once again, thank you everyone for giving my project a chance and sticking with me for 2.5 years to reach the ending. Thank you so much!! 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ This is more than I've ever dreamed for and I hope I can continue to bring good stories for folks to enjoy!

A Sky of Falling Birds

Once I was done with SYVNH, I got to work on my next big project because I can't sit still. I haven't a marketing plan for SFB yet. It's a very different story and vibe from SYVNH. I think the only similarity are the length of the main character's bangs.

I'm tentatively aiming to release SFB for BAF VN Jam.

(Ad break!

Do you like shounen manga?? Do you like making VNs?? Consider joining Battle Action Fantasy Visual Novel Jam 2024! We're hosting a game jam focused on action stories with our beloved shounen tropes!! Join today!!)

Oh god that was terrible, don't put me on the spot like that, me.

Anyways, A Sky of Falling Birds is a yuri-ish visual novel about depression, finding a will to live, and the end of the world.

It's yuri-ish because you have two "love interests" who aren't lovey-dovey to you at all. In fact, one of them might murder you before the game ends. The main portion of the script has been finished at about 20k+ words and the sprites are done. It's time I made a proper roadmap for creation of this VN('s demo).

(Oh, what's that? Does one of their silhouette look familiar? I wonder...)

A Variety of Unnamed BL Projects

+ a named not-BL project

Although SFB is closer to being finished, I can't help but be tempted by these new ideas I have... and start designing for them.

Last time I talked about P^3, I finished the outline. There is still no title. But I worked on some potential designs for the MC and the two LIs.

I am both unhappy and un-done with LI2's outfit. They're actually a bit plain compared to my other designs, but this story's a historical (Victorian) fantasy and only LI2 is close to the upper crust of society that would wear flowing dress... shirts with lots of ribbons.

I'm still working on how to best summarize this story. But perhaps it's a little more "what would you do for family" than love story.

The other BL project, which I've named [BL RPG] is a story set in a modern fantasy society. There is turn based gameplay for this project. I had their designs finished a while back, but I finally put colors to the remainder of the cast for Part 1.

(Oh, this will be a long one, my friends...)

The outline isn't done yet.

This is a story about kissing boys, taming punks, and maybe over throwing the government.

The last of my "projects I worked on mindlessly now that SYVNH is done" I worked on this past... month is Killer Hiding Place (KHP). This is the next entry into the Kill Series and something I had outlined since last year. I kept trying to start writing it, but I keep running into trouble on how I want to tell the story. I originally intended to do another manga-esque format like that of Exorcist Killing Lie, but this protagonist tends to monologue a lot, making it difficult to put in manga form.

Other...!

I finished 4 images for a fan project, and I'm still behind on another part of that project 😢 That'll be my focus for this week...

I also did some playtesting for @arimiadev's upcoming BL visual novel Canvas Menagerie!! It's a soft and comfy SoL BL story about the struggles of being an actor.

It also has one of the best lines I've ever read in a visual novel.

You can play the Canvas Menagerie demo for free on itch!

Whew! That was a long one!

But that's all the info I got for this... month. Look forward to... next week...??? Let's go with the positive expectation that I will be able to make weekly devlogs again ahaha...

Bye-bye, Pumpkin out!

[charmixpower]

Issue Fifteen: Dragon's Land

Dragons as protected species that are captured and released to be given medical care is EVERYTHING TO ME

Like god!!!! Love this world building!!

This is the only comics so far where witches are mentioned in where they are not the cause of others problems

Sky's face at seeing his parents ndjabskababa

Diaspro's family!!

What does Winx have against parents and kids looking similar??

Samara is at once saying it's his choice and also reminding him that it was never supposed to be his choice

Awe they are sharing clothes!!

Also if the dress is too small for Stella, and the straps are falling off of Bloom implying it's too big, Stella is bigger than Bloom

I kinda love it how now Bloom is famous Sky can get away with being with her with less outside pushback. It makes perfect sense and is a good consequence of Bloom saving magixs

Doradili seems to be flirting with Diaspro and she doesn't say no, she says she can't because of her parents

THATS interesting

Also Diaspro that's weird, trying to get a stranger to kiss Bloom on the false idea she wants it is so weird and awful

He recognizes her!! That's fun

We see why Diaspro is actually so obsessed with being with Sky

Diaspro's mom absolutely sucks

THATS NOT WHAT HE SAID BLOOM

He didn't even say it will be easier, just that it may be! Which makes sense!! His parents are more likely to accept a famous person, there is likely to be less push back

You are making shit up!!

You did this to yourself you fucking dumbass

REALLY??? REALLY?????

BLOOM WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS???

You are so fucking flip floppy Bloom

Diaspro!!! Magic Winx!!!

Well at least you know not to use god powers on someone much weaker than you

No fucks given about Diaspro holy shit she's just riding the dragon while Dia is passed out

God she's so gorgeous

They are a protected species!!! They are being conserved!!!

This implies dragon hunters and the over hunting of dragons OR their habits/climate changing too much to let them survive

I love the insights into the world sm

Their conversation is so funny

Diaspro is really like, thank you but fuck you

Oh I love this dragon biology lore

Bloom is a dragon mom now

Sky. I hate you. So much

They aren't even that far apart you could grab both of them if you tried

Musa hanging out with Timmy again! I love the implication that their friends

God this outfit is so fucking gorgeous

[hakyeonsmonstercock]

ok gonna make a masterpost rant on my thoughts / hopes for #hakyeonsolodebut bc he’s coming back soon and i know hwang sejun follows me personally so 

1. pre-release digital single

option 1: summer

song: ok i know someone at that fuckass company is gonna be like “omg you should totally do a ballad” so i thought what if we didn’t have to suffer and it was just a little teaser for the album like dream and free tempo and hyuk’s songs were and not the main song? if we have to get a slow song, rather than a ballad i want something soft and sweet like choco chip cookie.

outfit: a mix of the ceci photoshoot and big issue, oversized shirts but less pink and more.. sparkly? i’m seeing stickers on his skin and glitter on his hair but idk that might be a vision for another time. anklets if we’re doing a beach thing. hair curly and parted so his eyebrows show a little (put some glitter on them like aoa cream king) maybe even some novelty hair clips

m/v: aesthetics..... the overused 3:4 aspect ratio solid color background with some objects in front omg.. but i’d eat it up for hakyeon honestly if it was more pastel and told a story. cutesy nostalgic with a girl maybe so he can trend for being boyfriend material again. balloons, very colorful, sunny summer-like, 

option 2: autumn

song:  i know vixx generally don’t do trends (thank god they never did beat drop chorus noise /barf) BUT, and hear me out, CITY POP is kinda on the rise and his #aestheticcore ass would GO ALL OUT. yukika - neon is like, representative intl stan choice but it is actually amazing. i can see hakyeon going upbeat retro but in my mind the prerelease single is a slightly faster ballad over a vaporwave/futurefunk/citypop instrumental (can you tell i don’t listen to that cringe shit). i can also see some trot elements being thrown in that suit fit hakyeon’s voice 

outfits: imagine this picture but with highwasted brown pants instead and a much flowier white/blue shirt with like puffier sleeves? maybe an extra button undone. then a beret (!), huge fucking dangly earrings, and his hair styled wavy like for the big issue magazine. black shoes with a high heel because fuck you or whatever these shoes are called because fashion. 

m/v: yeah i want it melancholic and rainy and dark and him singing to a stand mic late at night reminiscing.... the night sky.. stars.. starlights.. get it?

2. title track

option 1: sexy

song: if hakyeon went for a sexy concept, and i could totally see him do cunt very well, bass down low and heavy, something like shinhwa’s first love (!!!), hashtag’s freesm, sujeong’s tiger eyes, OR something with a western pop influence: poison, give it up to me, or even hara’s midnight queen

but the ideal? this song is everything i could ever want for hakyeon’s solo debut. the jrock-pop-dance-edm influences are brilliant, it’s fast paced and hot and leaves plenty opportunities for what hakyeon does best, and that’s stare at a stage camera seductively. 

dance: mm a lot of hip work and some flowy arm movements. a little contemporary dance break for hakyeon to flex. female and male back up dancers falling over him/fighting for his attention/serving as his chairs (which he did already lmfao). also that thing where one person moves from stage left to stage right and the dancers behind them copy and freeze in various poses/wave choreography. ALSO there’s a smirk and panting and a growl in this song... if no one got me i know hakyeon’s facial expressions got me!

outfit: THIS gay ass shirt is the ONLY choice wtf!!! taemin move promotions inspired but with higher wasted pants to suit hakyeon’s body type. no necklaces either, maybe gloves, dr martens... the highlight of this outfit would be his arms and lipoma <3 in an ideal world id ask for a little red gradient lip too but whatever, the eye makeup can go crazy instead

m/v: literally let’s bring it back to 2012 give me a box set and 50% dance shots 50% head shots i don’t give a fuuuck!

option 2 / follow up promotions (maybe featuring a female idol): i didn’t ask to be born latina

song: k hakyeon is canonically latinx so his debut song should have a lot of latin dance or even bollywood influences! i’m thinking if solo: koda kumi shake it, , tomochin’s loca, enrique iglesias’ bailamos or if he wants to be quirky he can plagiarize ACCHA ACCHA (get it????)

and if he invites one of his bitches shakira’s la tortura, cocosori’s mi amor, enrique iglesias’ takin back my love . he already covered havana and choreographed it and put his girls in those flamenco dresses soo... we know you want to king

dance:  i trust hakyeon to make troublemaker the 2nd most controversial performance in recent history. honestly just want him to do this to shake the table a little bit if he decides to go for a feature.

but if it;s a solo song... belly dancing!!! hello?????/ literally unfulfilled potential all up in this bitch! when he starts feeling ethnic >> he’s gonna be my cousin shakira said my hips don’t lie... 

outfit: RED! hello?? arguably his best color? when we put him in a sinfully tight shirt and add lace details and a huge leather corset-like belt and a deep v neck cross with long wide sleeves with details on the chest so it’s borderline a figure skating costume and HELLO WHEN WE CONVINCE HIM TO WEAR A CROP TOP AND BELLY DANCING PANTS AND THOSE SEQUIN SEE THROUGH SKIRTS AND DANGLY ACCESSORIES AND SOME INTRICATE WAIST CHAINS ohHoHHohhhpdhp yes it’s all coming together *brain fuckng explodes* also she should grow out his hair kinda like taekwoon hyde era? embrace your heritage king

m/v:  a whole storyline set in like the 50s in which hakyeon is a bartender/cleaner at a cabaret club and he stares wistfully at all the performers on stage and imagines himself up there and practices and then the climax of the song has him receiving standing ovations and as the song closes he’s like jolted from his daydream :’)

OR one of those stereotypical man having an orgy with a bunch of women mvs

4. pussy eating anthem

stellar - vibrato imagery. nuff said.

3. ft. yikyung

obviously this is just wishful thinking but since yikyung’s pretty active rn and has a whole song it’s not too far fetched? what’s far fetched is how close they are irl but i don’t doubt hakyeon will get a lot of his friends to feature, whoever they are. 

5. ballad

6. ft. vixx

aww in my light fashion i do think hakyeon would all but force vixx into the studio to do a cute little gift for the fans song <3 i don’t doubt he’d try to include h*ngbin too in some way. i don’t have concrete ideas for this one cuz fan gift songs suck but he’d probably be involved in the production/lyrics <3

[gothhisoka]

𝑨 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒀𝒐𝒓𝒌𝑵𝒆𝒘

100 follower special!! Thank you everyone <3

Pairing: Chrollo x fem!reader

Tags: College AU, rich Chrollo, Gossip Girl vibes, this is my first draft so sorry about the errors

Word count: 4.8k

Summary: The infamous October party is all the talk at YorkNew University. It takes place at a huge penthouse in the heart of the city, owned by a mysterious man that few know the true identity of.

You attend the party just having entered your freshman year. There, you meet all sorts of people. But one, in particular, intrigues you the most. His name is Chrollo Lucilfer. He is an expensive suit-wearing, whisky-smelling, suspiciously rich graduate student.

And you are going to try to get him to dance.

Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+, Do not drink underage. You should not use any of the actions displayed in the following story as examples for your own life.

Playlist: click here to listen while reading

Ao3: click here to read on ao3

Chapter 1/?

As you walked through the streets of YorkNew City you felt gusts of wind push past you so strongly that they nearly knocked you over. It was already miserable to be outside, and it was only October. The sky was growing dark, the city growing brighter. Fall decorations adorned the buildings you passed. The Southernpiece Auction House looked the most magnificent of them all– with bright colored lights trailing the pathway and walls.

No time to wonder at your surroundings, you thought. You would have four more years to gawk at the city. You pulled your scarf tighter around you as you walked faster. Although you looked cute in your tights, it was definitely not the appropriate clothing choice for this weather.

Your decision to go to YNU seemed perfect in every way. It was one of the top schools in YorkNew and was in the heart of the city. Unfortunately, you failed to realize that the wind would be whipping for three-quarters of the year.

While it wasn’t the biggest “party school,” there was a single big party in October held by one of the fraternities. That party was the one you happened to be heading to right now. Everyone knew of it and talked about it non-stop. You were reluctant to attend. You hadn’t had many real party experiences at high school. For the most part, they consisted of sitting around drinking cheap beer while your classmates humiliated themselves. Your friends had high hopes for this one, though.

For one, it appeared to be in the penthouse of a high-rise building. You checked your phone to see if the location matched the one on your map. This wasn’t the frat house you had been expecting. Although your and the system’s arrows matched, you really couldn’t trust your directional skills, anyway.

Your hands were near frozen, but you managed to press the call button on your friends’ contact.

“Hey Canary?” you don’t hear her reply as music floods through your phone speaker. Seconds later, it becomes quieter, signaling she moved into another room.

“Hey, it’s absolutely crazy up here, sorry.”

You ask her about the address, and she confirms it. She tells you her location at the party so you can find her later. She hangs up before you can say bye or express more of your listless anxieties. Why were you so worried? You had Canary and Amane and… well, you didn’t know many others. And of course Canary and Amane would be all over each other so really you had no one. That was a valid source of anxiety, was it not?

Either way, you needed to step into the building to escape the cold. Perhaps after you warmed up you could make your escape. I knew this was a bad idea.

The entryway was already magnificent, with tall arches and marble floors. A fire blazed near a seating area on the opposite wall. You rushed over to find it unoccupied, thank goodness. You sat as close as safely possible and felt the warmth creep back into your body.

Your head cleared a bit, thoughts straightening out into coherency. You were at your first party. Your friends were all up there already, so you wouldn’t need to wait for them awkwardly. Everything would go smoothly as long as–

Just then, a group of around six people entered the hall. You couldn’t help but stare. One was over six feet tall, another shorter than five. And some were unbelievably gorgeous. One of them particularly caught your eye. He was wearing all black, styled in an expensive coat and dress shirt. His hair was black as well, hanging loose around his pale face. Dark eyes looked towards a man at his right. He walked with such an intimidating stride that you nearly hid behind the sofa. Luckily, they didn’t appear to be heading in your direction.

They probably were all college students, why else would they be dressed up at a random apartment on this specific day? The thought sent butterflies to your stomach. If the group really was full of college students, maybe you should be going to that party.

Not to gawk at them or anything. Based on their looks, you could tell that they were the rich YorkNew city elite-type students, not the federal loan international-type student as you were. In other words, they had power and you did not. It was best to avoid these types of people. You knew that much just from living in the city for a couple of months.

The group was still waiting outside of the elevators. You made possibly the stupidest decision that you could’ve at that moment. You rose from your seat and flattened your hair. You then proceeded to trot right over to the elevator, behind the group. You had to go upstairs somehow, and reaching the top floor through the stairs didn’t seem like the ideal choice.

Clearly still distracted by the image of that man’s face that was now tattoed onto your brain, you didn’t even notice when the elevator doors opened. A voice sounded from inside that snapped you out of your daydream.

“There’s enough room if you want to come in…” it was the same man that you noticed from before.

An amused expression shone on his face– it was as if he was trying to hide a smirk. He placed his hand on the elevator door so it wouldn’t close. You noticed thick silver rings on a couple of his fingers. It was clear from his appearance that he was wealthy. Not to mention, his mannerisms had an undertone of superiority. Despite yourself, this only enticed you more. Who was this man?

Apparently, you were about to find out.

A blush rose on your face as you quickly gave him your thanks and scrambled inside the elevator. He stood directly next to you, with his friends on the sides. The sudden closeness made your stomach flip.

“What floor?” he asked, hand hovering above the numbers on the elevator wall.

You checked the keypad although you already knew that you would all be headed to the same place.

You tried not to look at him as you responded. “Same as you.”

“Oh,” he replied simply.

The rest of the ride was accompanied by a rising tension. The girls behind you made the only conversation, talking in low voices to one another. You were grateful when the elevator finally stopped on the top floor. You quickly walked out and made your way to anywhere but where that group was. On a second glance, you could see that the rest of them also had that air of wealth and superiority that the man had. That was definitely not the crowd you wanted to get acquainted with tonight.

Besides the music thumping through the walls and people waiting around the entrance, the hall outside of the elevator looked like it could be in any other apartment building. There was a large rack full of coats and hangers to your right. As you walked through the long hall you took off your coat and scarf, happy to get rid of the bulky clothes.

Going into the party was still nerve-wracking, but your outfit gave you a bit of courage. You chose a black silk minidress that accentuated your curves perfectly. You wore fishnet tights and combat boots to complete the look. You did your makeup to near perfection, with a bold red lip and your signature eyeliner. Needless to say, you were feeling good.

You almost forgot that the group that was still in the hall until you felt their eyes bearing into you. In your peripheral vision, you saw them take off their coats just as you finished hanging yours. Without another moment of hesitation, you walked quickly to the door.

The music grew louder and you grew slightly nauseous. This night has already been far too much. Is it really the best idea to continue on? It was too late to turn back, as you would be turning to face those who you wished to avoid.

So, you opened the door. You were immediately flooded with lights and sounds and people. The interior was huge. You guessed that this single apartment took up the majority of the floor, and apparently the one above it too. A staircase on the right side led to a balcony overlooking the main room. Couches and furniture lined the walls, pushed away to form a space in the middle. From what you could see, the entire back wall consisted of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city below. If you hadn’t felt so dizzy, you would’ve noticed that the room stunning and grand, unlike any you have seen before.

Students were everywhere, crowding on the couches and the dance floor. You couldn’t make out many faces as the neon lights were dim. You guessed that there were at least seventy people in this room alone.

The music thumped in your bones. You tried to focus on the lines of the song playing instead of your rising panic. “Oh god can you make my heart stop… killshot baby.”

After assessing your surroundings, you made a quick beeline to the kitchen, where Canary said she would be when you called her earlier. The walk was only quick in theory. It took you around five minutes to make your way across the room. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience, weaving through drunk bodies dancing with fervor. You smelt the sweet smell of vape smoke mixed in with the sweat. Heads turned to look at you but you did not look back. Nothing interested you more than finding your friends. Meeting other people could come after you were settled.

You bitterly realized that it had been a bad idea not to come with Canary and Amane an hour earlier. You thought as little time as possible spent there would be ideal, as it was your first time at a college party. Little did you know that arriving late would mean a frantic search for your friends amidst the chaos.

At last, you came upon an opening in the wall that seemed to lead to the kitchen. There were neon lights in there as well, lining the counters and cabinets. White marble countertops glinted underneath bottles of alcohol.

There were significantly fewer people crowded into this tiny space. About fifteen people stood around, drinking and talking with one another over the music. Without thinking, you grab a bottle of beer as you pass by the counter on your way to the other side of the room. There was an empty corner that was calling your name. From there you could observe the faces of the people around you. And possibly get a bit drunk while you were at it. You figured it was the only way you could survive the rest of the night.

As you scanned the faces your heart sank. You didn’t see your friends anywhere. Maybe they already moved to the dancefloor. You take another swig of the beer and pull out your phone.

The dial tone for Canary sounded just as you spotted a familiar face. He was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room with his arms crossed, talking to an attractive red-haired man standing next to him. Your mind was slowly growing hazier, but that didn’t mean you forgot about the man from before.

You quickly averted your eyes. Canary didn’t pick up your call so you decided to text her. All the while you felt your heart begin to thrum. Did that man intimidate you? Or was it just because you thought he was incredibly hot?

You couldn’t say for sure, as you have never felt this way about a person before. He looked older than you, a graduate student perhaps. Anyway, he was far out of your reach in terms of people you could talk to. So, you decided right there and then to stop thinking about him.

You wait a few more minutes for Canary’s response. She doesn’t reply to your text. You grit your teeth and pick up another bottle of beer from the counter. Unfortunately, the bottle opener was nowhere to be seen. Just my luck, you thought. Rather than going without the beer, you pulled out your keys and tried to pry the lid off with your sheer force. But your hand kept slipping and you were beginning to feel a bit embarrassed. You cursed yourself under your breath and looked around to see if anyone noticed your clumsiness.

Accidentally peering towards the wall where the man was before, you notice that he was no longer there. You didn’t know why you cared so much about the opinion of a stranger.

You were about to put the bottle down when you sensed someone next to you. A voice that smelt of whisky and cigarettes spoke, “Need some help there?”

You retracted at the sound and sensation until you noticed who spoke. It was him. You froze, unsure of what to do next. Slowly, your eyes trailed up to his face.

You tried not to stare as you took him in full, now that you were finally face to face. The low neon lights highlighted his strong nose and sharp jawline. His black hair was messily swept from his face, displaying a cross tattoo on his forehead that you hadn’t noticed before. He wore small silver hoops in both ears. Shadows formed across his deep-set eyes as he regarded you, emotionless and still.

He asked you again, pointing to the unopened bottle, “The beer?”

You gave him a nervous laugh, “Oh, yes. I don’t know where the bottle opener went…”

He still stood unusually close to you. Obviously, it was only so that you could hear him better over the loud music. Still, it made your heart flutter. You averted your eyes from his only to see the sleeves of his black dress shirt rolled up, displaying strong arms and hands.

You tried to tell yourself that he was just being nice. And you were making a fool of yourself, just as you were before at the elevator. You knew you had no chance with him, even though a party was a more relaxed environment than most. He would want nothing to do with you after he helped you again. These intimidating upperclassmen were the same.

The man said nothing as he placed the edge of the bottle on the counter, with the cap at the edge. Those beautiful, white marble countertops. Surely he isn’t going to…

With a slam of his palm, the cap came clear off.

“Here,” he said simply.

Why, you wondered, was that so attractive. You couldn’t possibly be getting turned on by the opening of a bottle. Maybe it was only due to the way he did it, displaying his strength so boldly.

He noticed your expression and laughed lightly. “It’s fine, I own the place.”

You couldn’t hide your surprise at his statement. If he was a graduate student, how could he possibly be making enough for this entire place? And you were told it was a frat house, not a single apartment?

A little bit of talking wouldn’t hurt, no matter his status. So you decide to allow the questions to flow. Perhaps the beer was finally loosening your lips and easing your anxiety. You really should’ve been searching for your friends, but it seemed that your body thought differently. Something about the man drew you in. Whether it was his flawless appearance or genuine kindness towards you, you weren’t sure.

“You own this place?” you questioned, leaning a hip on the counter with your beer in hand.

He gave you a small smile, clearly trying to appear humble. “Yes.”

All you managed to say was, “How?”

Was it genuine interest in his face that you saw? Or was he simply happy to boast about his tremendous earnings?

“My company. The dealings bring in solid money, so I decided to purchase this place.” He waved a hand, gesturing towards the general direction of his massive living area.

“Your company? Do you go to YNU?”

He couldn’t be that old to have established his own company. And if he was, surely you would’ve heard about it, as he would be famous. Perhaps he was like many of the other kids at this school, enjoying a trust fund to their name and claiming it all to be their sheer success.

He grabbed a beer from the table and opened it the same way as he did before. He seemed to almost be growing bored of the conversation, needing to drink to distract himself. He became more distant as the small talk continued.

“Yes. I’m in the first year of my graduate program. And you?”

God, those eyes. It was hard to maintain eye contact with him for too long. It felt as if he was simultaneously calculating you as if you were a complex math problem while trying to appear as emotionless as possible.

He was the one who needed calculating. His appearance was already bizarre, with the cross tattoo displayed so boldly on his forehead. But the fact that he was only in his first year of graduate school and already running his own company was too much to comprehend. All you wished for was to know more about this strangely alluring man.

You were about to reply when you heard your name being called from the crowd in the large room. Giggles followed the shout.

Canary and Amane were thrust out of the mass of bodies in the living area. Canary wore a minidress and Amane wore a dress shirt and pants, now significantly disheveled. They were smiling like mad.

Your heart jumped at the sight of them. Finally, you were safe. That was your immediate thought until you saw the stumble in their walks. They were drunk.

Canary slurred your name again. “We’ve missed you! Where were you?”

“I was here in the kitchen, where you told me to wait. Remember?”

Canary and Amane simply gave each other a knowing look and giggled. You had almost forgotten the man who still stood behind you.

“We’ll leave you to it then,” Amane said, making it obvious that she was referencing him.

They were about to leave when you called out. “Wait!”

It wasn’t that you weren’t absolutely entranced by the man and wouldn’t give everything to talk to him for even one more minute, it was just that your friends needed you.

You turned to see the man now farther down the counter, talking to the red-haired man again. He noticed your apologetic look and walked towards you.

“Sorry I have to–”

Your sentence trails off as he looks down on you with a slight smile, arms crossed. You almost want to take a step back, his look too penetrating and revealing.

“What is your name?”

You widened your eyes. He wants to know your name. What were you supposed to make of that?

You give him your name.

“I’m Chrollo,” he replies, sticking his hand out for you to shake as if you were making a business deal. You try to hide your laugh.

He simply smirks back at you as you take his hand. The cold metal of his rings contrasted with the warmth the both of you were emitting. The front of his hand was smooth, with light veins running towards his knuckles. A sign of strength. Moreover, his palm rough. His grip was firm and confident as if he had something he wanted to convey with this handshake. What that was, though, you couldn’t be sure.

You felt a tap on your soldier and knew it was time to go with your friends. You just couldn’t manage to turn away. You already began to think, what if I never see him again? What if he doesn’t want to see me again anyway?

“Nice to meet you, Chrollo,” you said before finally turning your back. You felt his eyes bearing into your back as you left. At least, you hoped it was your back. You weren’t used to the tightness of your dresses’ material and the looks that coupled it.

You silently praise yourself for your unusual boldness toward Chrollo. Maybe you were bold enough to make an impression. An impression was really all you could hope for, at this point. That man was impossible to read.

Before you left the kitchen, Amane held out a small cup for you containing a clear liquid. You hardly hear what she says it is before you knock it back. The taste burns your throat. You figured you would need whatever it was before heading out to the dance floor. Amane and Canary do the same as you (as if they needed it, as drunk as they were).

As Canary grabbed your hand, Chrollo’s name echoed in your mind. Where have you heard it before? You probably could remember if you hadn’t drunk that last shot.

“Who the fuck was that?!” Amane nearly screamed into your ear. You were nearing the main dance floor. The sound was deafening and you felt the thump of music in your bones.

“Chrollo. He owns this place, apparently,” your voice gets lost in the noise.

“WHAT?” Canary yells. You were deep into the mass of people so talking was virtually impossible. There was space to move once you reached the center. It was far enough from the speakers that you could hear fragments of speech from the other people beside you. The sound still bounced off of the tall ceilings, echoing through the large room.

A new song started to play and you began to dance. You, Canary, and Amane danced stupidly, movements sluggish yet wild from the alcohol. It was the most fun you had in a long while. Maybe going to the party wasn’t such a bad idea after all. At that point, the anxiety all but left your body.

After a couple more songs, you decided to try to find your way out of the crowd to take a break. Your body ached with all the movement and sensation. Amane and Canary remained on the floor, although they insisted on following you. It was a slower song, anyway. You couldn’t be caught on the floor with no partner.

At last, after much shoving, you found a wall you could rest against. It just happened to be the wall with the floor-to-ceiling windows. It was far less crowded here. The cold glass felt incredible after the mass of sweat that was the dance floor.

The city lights reflected in the glass

You were close enough to the kitchen to peer through the entrance. When you did so, you couldn’t see Chrollo or his friend. Rather, they were talking to one another next to the kitchen, along the plane of windows.

Suddenly, the glass didn’t feel so cold anymore. You began to heat up just at the sight of him. It was too late by the time you looked away, they had noticed your gaze. Chrollo caught your eyes and your heart skipped a beat. But it wasn’t Chrollo who came over to you. It was his friend. You looked towards the red-haired man with apprehension. This wasn’t middle school, was it? Was Chrollo getting his friend to act as their in-between? No , you told yourself. This sly-looking man is clearly here for something else.

“Hello there,” he said in a sultry tone. He leaned against the window just as you did the same.

His red hair hung loosely around his yellow eyes. He wore a loose dark purple dress shirt and black pants.

Your patience was running out. “Who are you?” And why are you not Chrollo?

“Hisoka. And you must be y/n, right?”

Your eyebrows rose as you nodded. Had Chrollo already mentioned you to Hisoka? What made you worth mentioning? Well, apparently you were about to find out.

“I was wondering, dear, would you dance with me?”

That was unexpected. You turned to face him to observe his expression and the one of the man behind him. Chrollo’s face was bank but his eyes looked stormy as if to issue a warning to Hisoka. Something in Chrollo’s look made you want to accept Hisoka’s offer, just to see his reaction. The slight changes in his expression were endlessly entertaining. If doing something as reckless as dancing with a man you had just met would warrant a change, you would happily oblige.

Hisoka’s smirk vanished as you replied, “Sure.”

Now it was your turn to look smug. Chrollo’s eyes widened slightly but he still remained silent, several feet away with his back against the window. If Hisoka was anyone else, say a person who didn’t radiate his dangerously sexual appetite, perhaps Chrollo would’ve been less surprised.

Although you assuredly gave him your answer, you knew you couldn’t trust this man. His sly expression persisted as he snaked a slender hand across your waist. You didn’t turn to see Chrollo’s expression but you could feel a pair of eyes on your back as you walked away. How unfair it was, that Chrollo always got the last look.

Hisoka led you to an opening on the dance floor that was situated near the staircase. He immediately pulled you to his chest. You gasped at the sudden closeness. You felt his torso with your own, his hardened with muscle. He moved his hands tighter against your waist and you nearly melted into the touch.

You were drunk. He wasn’t who you wanted. But you could easily pretend he was.

You tried to peer back to the spot where Chrollo was standing. It was far too dense and dark to make out any faces besides the one of the man before you.

He wasn’t Chrollo, but he was unquestionably attractive. His sharp features were riddled with confidence. He carried himself as a king would, so self-assured that he was borderline unaware.

The slow song had since ended and a faster one began to sound. You began to feel the rhythm and danced along, Hisoka pulling you closer all the while. Although you were significantly intimidated by Hisoka, it was still fun. You couldn’t tell if either of you was dancing well or making a fool of yourselves. All you knew was sound, movement, and the touch of his body to yours.

After another song or two suddenly Hisoka pulled apart. He wore a malicious expression.

“I have to go,” he said, simply.

He didn’t give you a chance to reply. He waltzed up the stairs to the balcony that you were dancing near. You trailed your eyes to where he stood, hands on the railing talking to the person beside him. It was the blond woman you saw earlier, the one who was with Chrollo’s group…

And next to her was Chrollo. He was holding onto the railing for dear life as if he would fall to his death if he let go. A fear of heights? No, you didn’t think so. Based on his facial expression, he looked almost bitter. You didn’t deem that possible based on his mild mannerism so far. And what reason would he have to be angry?

An idea sparked in your mind. A stupid one, undoubtedly. But Chrollo and his group were far too interesting to ignore for the rest of the night.

It was probably too dark for them to see you amongst the crowd, but you crouched as you moved away anyway. You sensed the tension in their conversation all the way from the floor below. You would wait until Chrollo cooled off a bit and then make your move.

You head back to the kitchen to have another drink. You go for something stronger, a shot of a pale liquid that you didn’t know the name of. Or rather, you were too distracted to care.

You made the perilous journey back to the balcony, dodging limbs and drunken stupors. It was nearing midnight at this point and the crowd was sufficiently rowdy. You think you spot Canary dancing near the back wall, but you couldn’t be sure. You will let her have her own fun tonight since you already found yours.

From below, you could see that Chrollo, Hisoka, and the woman were still leaning against the balcony railing. As you dizzily mounted the steps, you realized that Chrollo looked as perfect and intact as when you first saw him, all those hours ago. He must’ve not danced the whole night, even though it was his own party. How strange. Well, you were about to try and change that.

“Hey,” you said as you waltzed up to Chrollo. There was a bit of a stumble in your step so you quickly made use of the railing.

Chrollo no longer had a death-grip on the bar. He looked at you with a blank face.

“Hello,” he replied.

His friends glared at you so hard that you nearly turned back around. You seem to have interrupted an important conversation.

You lazily move closer to Chrollo and speak under your breath, so that his friends don’t hear, “Want to dance?”

[juniorgman187]

Serendipity (Reid Fic) Part 1

A/N: If you’re wondering if this is at all based on Rosie and Marco’s storyline in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” then you should know - it totally is.

Summary: An FBI gathering brings Reader and Spencer together after years of distance. This one night changes not only their future, but their perspective on the past.  Category: Angst, Smut, *NSFW content Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: Mentions of traumatic childhood, child neglect, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, menstruation, pregnancy Word Count: 10.2k

I originally thought I would be able to fit everything into 1 part, but after further reconsideration, this will be a two part series. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　

Serendipity: (n). Finding something good without looking for it.

A word I would only come to truly understand many months from now on a warm Thursday morning in May at St. Mary’s Hospital. 

But whenever my thoughts drifted back towards the past, I would always remember that this was how it all began - on a chilly Saturday night in the heart of D.C.

Not more than four hours ago, Emilia and I drove down here for an F.B.I function that hired us. Under normal circumstances, we wouldn’t have agreed to be the caterers for an event so far away, but we eventually signed on after learning that there were at least 600 people attending. That meant a considerable amount of customers and an exorbitant amount of money. Saying yes was clearly a no brainer. 

Just to put it into perspective of how big this event would be, Emilia and I got lucky if we could park somewhere with 80 customers. 80. So this event would be colossal for us.

But who would have guessed that in a crowd of 600, I would run into the one and only - Spencer Reid. 

To preface, this wasn’t just any old birthday party, parade, or festival. It was a celebration and a grand one at that. Considering it was a private event at the Washington Monument, we were given special instructions to abide by the black-tie formal dress code that guests had to follow, too. I guess the caterers can’t look like slobs in the United States’ Capitol, now can they?

I definitely spent more time than I should have deciding on what outfit to wear, but my conscientiousness, or rather indecisiveness, did pay off in the end. For I would run into someone worth the trouble of impressing. 

My hair, unlike Emilia’s, was down and curled in big waves, and on one side, some of my hair was tucked behind my ear and designed to stay that way thanks to copious amounts of hairspray and an ungodly total of bobby pins. Emilia lent me a black, floor-length dress that had a plunging v-neck that didn’t fit her anymore, but luckily, fit perfectly on me. Although I would have to remember not to lean over too far tonight, otherwise, the customers might get a show they didn’t pay for. I, however, didn’t look half so good as my business partner. 

Emilia was clad in a navy blue silk dress with puffy sleeves and a high collar; the dress clung to her every curve, including her newly protruding belly bump. She looked regal and pregnant all at the same time, qualities I hadn’t seen coexist in anyone but the Queens and Duchesses in England. 

“Well, don’t you look hot?” Emilia purred, running her fingers through my curls, then letting them fall and sway back into place. 

“Are you kidding? You are quite literally a sexy mama.” I gushed to her, receiving a light chuckle in return. 

“Yeah, well, when you’re five months pregnant, tell me how sexy you feel in a tight dress.” She remarked, turning her back to me while she arranged all the supplies in the kitchenette behind me. But even as she faced away from me, she still managed to recognize the effect her words had. Maybe it was something in my silence, or our sister-telepathy, but Emilia immediately felt the room depress. In an effort to take back the remark that turned the room cold, she sweetly added while hugging me from behind, “You’re gonna be a mom one day, too. I promise.” 

I leaned into her embrace, feeling guilty for ruining the moment while also feeling burdened by the reminder of the terrible reality I had to face every day.

Ever since I could remember, I thought I was destined to be a mother, but that destiny had yet to be fulfilled.

Emilia was born only three years after me, and though that age gap isn’t big enough for me to be mistaken for her mother, I, she, and our younger brother Saul would all agree that in many ways I was their mom. I was the parent our parents never were. I was there for everything - soccer games, dance recitals, winter musicals - never getting the chance to participate in my own, but always attending their’s. 

I had to admit sometimes it was a burden, having to grow up so fast and help raise my siblings while still trying to navigate through my own struggles of adolescence, but I saw it as something I was meant to do. 

See, I wouldn’t have minded all the responsibilities of being a parent so much when it’d be my own kids that I’d be fulfilling them for - when it would be by my choice to fulfill those responsibilities and not by unfortunate birth order. 

However, as the years have gone by, my calling to be a mother has gotten quieter and quieter and quieter until eventually, I don’t think I’ll be able to hear it anymore. 

It’s not that I can’t have kids, but the fear of rushing into having one is what’s stopped me from pursuing that dream. 

As someone who grew up with divorced parents and practically became my siblings only reliable caregiver, I knew what having a baby too soon could do to a family. So rather than repeating history, I chose to wait to have kids. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes my parents did, and so I lived my life. I traveled all across the globe, I met new people, tried new things, I even started this taco truck business with Emilia. 

But still that gaping hole in my chest remained. A hole that nothing could ever fill the way that a child would. 

No amount of living could make up for the emptiness of a life with no family.

I could pretend all I wanted that I was happy living out my twenties, but the truth was I didn’t want to spend the rest of my years working in a food truck, amounting to nothing more than a mediocre cook and middling entrepreneur. That was never my dream - as exciting as it was. 

My real dream was to have a good life. The kind my parents never had thanks to the unplanned arrival of me. The kind my baby sister was already living out. 

“You know what? It’s a really nice night out. I think I might go for a walk. Do you wanna come?” Was this my blatant avoidance of breaching the subject of pregnancy? Yes, but it was also my escape from this food truck that felt like it was getting smaller and smaller and smaller by the second. 

“No, I’m okay. I’ll just get everything ready.” Emilia resigned. 

She knew why I was really leaving - sister-telepathy, I’m telling you - but she didn’t feel the need to acknowledge it. For that, I was thankful. Maybe we were better at communicating with no words at all. 

I carefully stepped off the back of the truck, making sure to hike up my dress high enough so I wouldn’t trip over the mess of fabric when my feet hit the floor. The nippy December air felt like a cool balm on my hot skin. I was burning up in that truck, and maybe it was nerves or something else, but I just had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. There was no explanation for it, but I realize now that the pit in my stomach was caused by something my intuition could sense but something my mind couldn’t understand. 

Someone important from my past was here tonight.

As I sauntered around the monument, I took in the breathtaking view of the structure’s silhouette against the blazing orange sky that melted into an ocean blue. I regretted not bringing my phone to take a picture of it so I could show Emilia when I got back, but that one regret quickly turned into another when the night sky’s breeze brought a rude awakening. My body shivered at the frigid gust of wind that blew through and I suddenly started to regret not bringing a jacket.

“Are you cold?” A gentle voice asked me from behind. 

I slightly recoiled out of shock of someone being there. When I turned around though, I couldn’t quite make out any distinguishable features. All I knew for sure was that this was certainly a man, and a tall one, too. 

“Um, just a little.” I bashfully admitted, crossing my arms to hug myself and maintain some warmth. I hadn’t even thought about my dress’s plunging v-neck or the fact that I was practically squeezing my breasts together, accentuating them even further, but by the time, I realized, it was too late. He was already looking. But not at my chest. Somewhere far more invasive. 

My eyes. 

“Here, take my jacket.” 

My small protests did nothing to stop him as he inevitably slipped the coat around my shoulders anyway. He’d come so close that I could finally see him and smell him. And let me tell you, if the sight of him wasn’t enough to break an overflowing dam of memories, then his smell certainly sent a flood that would.

“Oh my god,” I quietly gasped, my hand flying to my mouth to cover its un-ladylike gaping. 

“Spencer Reid?”

I squinted my eyes and cocked my head even further to find evidence to support my assumption, and sure enough, I found exactly what I was looking for. 

I was frozen in place as I deeply examined his face. My God! I mean, in many ways, he hadn’t changed a bit since the last time I saw him. Same dazzling hazel eyes. Same uniquely adorable nose. Same over-stimulated pink lips. I wonder if he still bit them as much as he did back then? 

But at the same time, he was so different. Of course, I could still discern the same features I used to study endlessly back then, but his face had transformed into a man’s. He lost the glasses for one thing, but he also had a softer jawline, longer hair, and for lack of a better term, a beefier build.

He was all grown up now, and yet, I could still identify the same boyishly handsome charm that made me fall in love with him more than a decade ago.

“I knew it was you, (y/n).” He chuckled, sounding half proud of himself. My heart fluttered at the sound of my name on his tongue and the action that followed. With his eyes locked on mine, he tucked strands of my hair back behind my ears; it’s as if he were saying, “Let me get a good look at you.” 

“How? It’s almost completely dark outside. You could barely even see me.” Certainly, you can understand why I was skeptical. Sounded too good to be true, if you ask me. 

He shook his head lightly with a smile, seemingly questioning how I couldn’t possibly know the answer to that question. “No one else looks like you. Not even in the dark.” 

His words spoke to a part of my soul specifically reserved for him. They were so genuine that I almost didn’t want to believe them because how could someone speak such lovely things and truly mean them? The world wasn’t that good a place. Certainly not good enough for Spencer Reid. 

In that moment, I flew out of my own body and watched this entire scene unfold from up above. I could see the version of a girl I hadn’t seen in years, not since that last interaction with Spencer. She had these big lovesick eyes as she swooned over a man with just the same lovesick look. 

The excessive upward tilt of my head and the way his neck craning down must’ve made it seem like we were about to kiss, but I knew better than to expect such a thing from Spencer Reid. And if anything, what we were doing right now was much more intimate than kissing. 

“Wow, you ... you really grew up. You look great.” My own voice sounded unfamiliar to me after the words slipped from my mouth without even registering in my brain first. 

“Are you kidding? Look at you! I mean, you are just ...” He paused for a moment to look me up and down, and I nearly shivered at the thought that he was practically undressing me with his eyes. “You’re absolutely beautiful. But you always were.” 

I was almost completely in a daze when I heard a hideous squawk of a bird flying overhead. This wouldn’t make sense, but it nearly felt like a sign. Like the bird knew I wasn’t supposed to be there, reminding me of where I belonged - reality - not in this fantasy with Spencer. 

“Um,” My head spun as I drew back from him. “I should probably get back. I’ll see you later.” I touched his upper arm gently as I passed by him, and it stunned me how warmth just radiated off of his body. 

To my all too quick goodbye, he simply waved and watched me walk past him with a pursed-lip smile. And just before I got too far, I thought I heard him say, “I hope so.” 

Though my feet were carrying me away from Spencer, my thoughts were only drifting closer to the memory of him, and we did have so many memories. 

11 Years Ago ...

I was at the ripe age of 16 when I got my driver’s license. And to anyone else, this would seem like a given milestone, but to me - it was so much more. With the obtainment of my license, I also gained access to a whole new world. Opportunities poured at the seams. I could drive anyone and anywhere I wanted to and though it wasn’t true, it felt like I could do anything, too. But like all things good in my life, it fell apart in the face of responsibilities. 

My newly obtained license was just another way for my parents to exploit me. Now, they didn’t have to drive Emilia and Saul since I could. Looking back, I have to wonder if the only reason they funded my driver’s ed classes were for the exact reason that if I took them, I’d sooner be able to take on yet another helping of duties they were too lazy to fulfill.

There’s one particular moment I can remember from this age and that same moment could also be regarded as the catalyst that would set off a series of events for the next 11 years to come.

It was the end of the school year and summer vacation was right around the corner. I was a sophomore at the time, and the prospect of being a junior the next year excited me. 

To kick off the start of summer, Melody Hanes was throwing a pool party at her house. Everyone knew she was filthy rich because of a dead grandpa or some other, not to mention, she was also in student government so she had just as big of a role in school as her grandpa’s death did in making the Hanes family wealthy. 

Though I never knew her personally, I did have third period chemistry with her for the entire year, and I sat right in front of her for pretty much the entirety of second semester. She must’ve only addressed me a handful of times, but she still invited me to her party anyway. Proximity, I had to admit, did play a part in that though because if I sat just a seat farther away, then I wouldn’t have been. 

I came home that day, thrilled to tell my mother about my invitation. It would’ve been my first party that wasn’t a distant relative’s birthday celebration or a childish sleepover in elementary. It was my first real high school party, and for once, I thought - maybe I’d finally get the quintessential ‘high school experience.’

But of course, I never did. 

As soon as I got home, I parked my car in the driveway, got the mail, and came inside the house to see my mother sitting on the couch watching TV, as per usual. While I was telling her about my invitation, she didn’t bother to lower the volume or even look away from the screen to give me her undivided attention, and when she did look away, it was only to take the mail from my hands. 

“Your sister’s science fair is on that day, and you have to take her because I’ll be working from 1 to 7.” My mother never once looked up from the mail she was sorting through to address me. And her words, while incredibly monotone, were also spoken with such finality, like what she said was the last she ever wanted to speak on the topic. No room for discussion. 

I’m not still losing sleep over it, but at the time, it felt like for once, I could actually just be a teenager and be young and reckless like everyone else, but that it was just taken from me. I never got the chance to be a kid again.

With the exception of Emilia’s science fair.

I knew my father wouldn’t be there, and obviously my mother wouldn’t, so I stayed to watch her presentation and to walk around the rest of the time. She deserved someone in her corner, and that someone was me. Even if no one was in mine. 

As I serpentined through the cafeteria, a bittersweet feeling came upon me. From paper mâché volcanoes to potato batteries, I observed a childlike sense of wonder that I hadn’t felt for years. 

Here, I was surrounded by children who got to be just children. They got to occupy themselves with trivial matters, like how gardens grow or if video games actually do rot your brain. 

Their problems had solutions and their questions had answers, and it almost made me wish that I could revert back to a time where life was that easy, but I couldn’t because it never was … not for me. 

So to sum it up, it was precious and heartbreaking all at the same time. 

While browsing the fair, I stumbled upon a man that didn’t quite seem to fit in, and maybe it was my own unfitting appearance that made me recognize his. He could’ve very well been the brother of one of these children, but something about the way he was dressed and the way he carried himself made me highly doubt that. 

He couldn’t have been a parent either, for he was not too far off from my own age, and if he was a parent of one of these eighth graders, that would have to mean that he had a kid when he was in kindergarten. So for all intents and purposes, he wasn’t someone’s brother or someone’s father. Who he actually was - I didn’t know, but I was determined to find out.

After that first observance, I spotted him a couple more times, but it wasn’t until we were looking at the same project that we actually spoke. 

“Fascinating, isn’t it?”

The sudden sound of his voice alarmed me, but only because it seemingly came out of nowhere. Generally, before someone speaks to you, you notice signals that they’re about to, which helps you prepare for conversation. Whether it’s nervous twitches, a look in your direction, maybe even a small acknowledging smile, you’ll recognize they want to or plan to talk to you, but none of those signs were given to me. Even when I turned my head to give him my attention, he was still fixated on the project in front of us. 

“Yeah, it really is,” I politely agreed. I awkwardly looked around the room as if I’d find an answer as to what to say next because I did want to keep talking to him, but the longer I stayed silent, the more I fear he’d begin to think I didn’t want to. With nothing else to ask but the question that had been bothering me since I first laid eyes on him, I simply went for it. 

“So, who are you here for?”

For the first time, he turned his head to the side to look right at me. With a quizzical expression, he responded. “Oh, no one. I’m just a judge here.” 

It was my turn to possess a quizzical expression. His statement wouldn’t have been weird, except for the part where any judge I’d seen or talked to were all well into their forties or fifties. 

“Aren’t you kinda young to be a judge? You’re, like, what? Seventeen, eighteen?

“Nineteen actually. But I regularly come to judge the Summer Science Fairs here since I went to this middle school eleven years ago.” 

Again, I would’ve taken his word for it, but the math didn’t make sense. “You were in middle school at eight years old?” 

“Mhm. I ended up graduating high school at twelve.” He said it so nonchalantly, but for how big of a feat it was, I thought it would’ve deserved a more prideful tone, yet he still maintained such a cavalier one. Did he not think himself to be impressive? 

“Jeez, you must be really smart.” 

He shoved his hands in his pockets, which made me notice that he wasn’t carrying a clipboard like the other judges, which was probably another reason why I didn’t take him for one. How would he be able to remember the projects that he was considering for awards? He’d have to have some magical memory for that.

Before answering, he began to walk away, but nonetheless he continued addressing me, so I followed him where he went. 

“Mmm not necessarily. My IQ isn’t high enough to suggest I’m a provable genius yet, but I do have an eidetic memory and I can currently read 16,000 words per minute, which definitely helps. I hope to be able to read 20,000 words per minute in the future.” 

Despite answering my question, he only left me with many more. 

“What is your IQ right now?”

“131.”

My eyes widened. Even I, with my limited knowledge on intelligence quotients knew that was high, especially for someone as young as he was. 

“So what IQ score do you have to have in order to be considered a genius?”

I couldn’t help but notice how he barely took anytime to think before answering me. It’s like his brain just knew everything, right then and there. 

“A score of over 140 is considered a genius or near genius.”

“Wow, so you’re almost a genius then?”

“Almost, but not quite. If I receive diverse stimulation at a consistent rate for the next few years, I predict that I’ll have an IQ of 180 or higher by the time I’m in my early twenties.”

You would think he would leave me speechless, but I still went on to ask him about what an eidetic memory was, and he explained to me that he could remember things exceedingly well, but that it was not the same thing as a photographic memory. He made that distinction very clear to me. 

Our conversation droned on for the rest of the fair as we continued to circle the cafeteria. I can’t count how many times we lapped around the same projects, but we never seemed to run out of things to talk about. Once those first few seconds after meeting him, when I didn’t know what to say, passed, I never again felt a sense of not knowing. We could talk for hours and hours, and it wouldn’t matter. I would never get bored. 

How could I? When I was with him, it felt like the rest of the world just faded away. Our discourse flowed so easily, no pressure, no awkward silence. It was just me and him, and if you ask me, that’s quite the opposite of boring. 

That was the first and final time I ever truly felt like a kid. Just like the ones in the science fair. Not a care in the world except for my morbid curiosity of the marvel that was him.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and I inevitably found myself being ripped out of my trance when I felt an aggressive tug on my sweater.

“We can go now.” Emilia interrupted. 

I hadn’t even noticed that a majority of the poster boards were taken down and that an even larger majority of the people were long gone, too. I got so lost in the conversation that I didn’t realize we were one of the last people still there. 

Emilia’s eagerness to leave was apparent as she pulled me away from my interesting conversationalist. 

“I had a nice time talking to you!” I called out to him, walking backwards to lengthen the period of time I could keep looking at him. 

“Likewise.”

I turned around fully just before I finally realized something. “Hey!” I yelled across the distance. “I never got your name!” 

He bashfully smiled and looked down at his feet briefly. “It’s Spencer! Spencer Reid!” 

I stood there for a moment, silently processing his name. 

“What’s yours?” He yelled back. 

I chuckled mischievously. “I guess you’ll have to find out next time.” My ambiguity puzzled him and intrigued him all at the same time. 

“Next time?” 

With the intentions of leaving him without a true answer, I simply turned on my heels and started walking away. 

“Bye, Spencer!”

Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, I knew after that first day, he could never forget me. 

- Present Time -

By the time I made it back to the truck, people were already lining up to order. 

“Get over here!” Emilia squealed excitedly from the window, her hand rapidly waving me over as if it’d suddenly increase my speed. I ran back as fast as I could in a dress and heels and climbed into the truck, mirroring my sister’s zeal. 

When I stepped in, Emilia took one glance at me and furrowed her brows. “Where’d you get the jacket?” 

Had she not mentioned it, I would not have remembered the foreign fabric that wrapped around my shoulders. 

“Oh, shoot!” I palmed my forehead after the realization dawned on me. I should’ve noticed sooner that I still had it on, but honestly, it didn’t feel unusual or out of place. It was comfortable and familiar, like it was meant to be there that entire time.

“I’m so sorry to do this to you, but do you think you can handle this alone for just a second? I have to return this to a friend.” I asked while slipping off the coat to ready myself to leave, even in the event that Emilia said she wouldn’t let me go. Luckily though, she understood it was urgent. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Just hurry back.” 

I extended my head to look out just past the side of the truck to look for Spencer while still being concealed within the vehicle. Now that there were more people here, I wasn’t exactly sure I should be caught mingling with the attendees, so instead, I decided to search for him from the truck, rather than wandering around the party, giving the impression to the people that hired us that I wasn’t doing my job and was just here to socialize. 

Luckily, there was something about my attachment to Spencer that was supernatural. I had this metaphysical ability to spot him even in a crowded place. I could find him anywhere. But whether that was a blessing or a curse was to be determined because right as my paranormal power kicked in, I found him. And there he was - standing next to another girl, a proximity much too close and a smile much too big to be anything less than flirtatious.

I paused to recall the image I had of myself earlier, when I floated up and out of my own body. I looked just like her - an oversized grin combined with lovesick eyes. 

But that’s not the worst part. 

The worst part was he was returning just the same look of attraction to her. 

“Um, actually,” I re-entered the truck completely, tossing the jacket aside haphazardly. “I’ll just return it later.” 

“You sure? You can go. I’ve got things covered right now.” She said between multitasking at a rate that even I, a very-much-not-pregnant-woman, could manage. 

All I could mutter back without giving away the sharp ache in my heart was, “Yeah, I’m sure.” 

_ _ _

After hours and hours of non-stop working, the night, at last, was coming to a close. The large crowd had sized down considerably, until I could no longer hear the sound of a thousand voices meshing. All the decorations were already coming down by the time Emilia and I finished packing up the truck. Without the hectic energy to cause adrenaline to course through my veins, it should’ve been peaceful, yet my heart was not at peace. 

I couldn’t shake the gut-wrenching feeling of seeing Spencer with that girl, but that wasn’t really why I was upset. It was more about the fact that I’d actually believed for a second that I had any chance with him. I should’ve known he wasn’t single, and the fact that I let myself swoon over him again angered me all the more. If I ever had a chance with Spencer, the time to act on it was long gone.

Now, I had to live with that. 

“You sure you wanna stay here alone? I’ll come with you if you want me to.” 

Emilia’s question was referring to my proposal to stay in D.C for the night while she drove home. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but I realized I couldn’t handle being in another suffocating car ride with Emilia. It had nothing to do with her - just that I needed alone time to process everything by myself. If I knew my sister as well as I thought I did, I knew she would’ve sensed something was wrong and tried to coax me into talking about it, which I was not in the mood to do. Plus, traveling for so long made me nauseous just thinking about it. Although, I didn’t have a plan, I knew that I just wanted to hail a cab and find a hotel somewhere here for the night. 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me. Call me when you get home.” I tapped on the back of the truck twice to let her know she was good to drive away, and I felt the car lurch forward per my request. When the truck finally did move, out from behind it appeared the tall figure of none other than Spencer. 

I was surprised, but only for a second, when that surprise turned into pain once more. Playing it cool so my afflictions wouldn’t be suspected, I nonchalantly stated, “Here’s your jacket, by the way. Sorry, I forgot to give it back to you earlier.”

I extended my arm far enough so that we’d still have a great distance between us when he went to grab it, but sure enough, my actions were all for naught when he not only refused to remove his hands from his pockets to take it but also walked two steps closer to me than he needed to be. I looked like an idiot just standing there with my arm so outstretched, only for him to not grab it and to let it simply press against his stomach as a complete avoidance of getting it back. 

“You were supposed to keep it. That’s why I didn’t ask for it back.” He curtly replied, finishing his statements with a cheeky grin. However, I wasn’t in the mood to return it. I simply stood there and shook the jacket in my hand to emphasize its presence. 

“Take it. Please.” My voice was full of contradictions. I tried to be assertive with my command, and yet my plead only softened the order and showed a defeat I wasn’t even aware of until I heard how sad it sounded. “I don’t want it, Spencer.” 

He no doubt saw the shift in my demeanor but still wouldn’t pacify me by taking the jacket. “What’s wrong? What did I do?” His voice got quieter, as if speaking any louder would shatter me in this fragile state of being. 

“Nothing, I’m just tired and I want to go home.” This wasn’t a complete lie. I was exhausted from working for hours and hours on my feet with no breaks in between, but it wasn’t exactly the full truth either. He could tell. 

“Just tell me what’s wrong.” He persisted. “Please.”

The only way I could describe what I happened next was like the vision of a boiling pot. Gradually, I was heating up until I finally got so overheated that I just boiled over and exploded. 

“What don’t you get, Spencer? I don’t want your jacket!” Fury consumed my tone. “And I don’t think your girlfriend would want that either.” 

“Girlfriend? What girlfriend? What are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend!” His words were flying out of his mouth at 100 mph as he desperately trying to mend what couldn’t be fixed. 

“Don’t play dumb. I saw you with that blonde girl. How close you two were standing, the way you were looking at each other.” Just having to recount the interaction made the horrid memory come back vividly into the forefront of my thoughts, and it broke my heart all over again. I shut my eyes painfully as though it would turn off the image of them together, but this only allowed for Spencer to wrap his warm hands around my upper arms and pull me closer to him without my knowing. I flinched unconsciously at the sudden feeling of his touch, to which he instantly let go. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hands shook with remorse for letting them touch my body in a way that elicited that reaction. They hovered in the space between us, not knowing where to go that would suddenly make things okay. “But she’s no one, okay? She’s just a coworker.” 

I wanted to believe him. I quite possibly did believe him, but there was still a sharp pain in my chest. Call it intuition. 

“No, she’s not,” I shook my head. “She’s not ‘no one’... you love her.” 

Spencer came closer but still didn’t let himself touch me again out of fear that I might draw back even further. 

“Listen to me - whatever feelings I used to have for her are long gone. She’s married, (y/n). She has a kid. And none of that even matters because the way that I used to love her is nothing compared to the way that I-” 

“Don’t.” I held my hand up in protest. “Don’t say you love me.” 

His eyebrows knit together with dismay. “Why? Why not? It’s true. I love you. I always have.” 

With one big sigh, I finally resigned to my emotions. “Then why didn’t you ever do something about it?” 

Judging by the deflation of his shoulders and the far off look he got in his eyes, he knew exactly the moment I was talking about. 

Two days after Emilia’s science fair, I drove to the library to pick up books I needed for my summer homework. I was already on my way out when I just happened to glance to my side, noticing a lone figure sitting at the bus stop. I didn’t think anything of it, but when I looked back, I partially recognized him. I shaded my eyes from the sun and squinted harder to confirm my suspicions. 

“Spencer?” I wondered out loud.

The figure’s head turned around, narrowed their eyes, and waved. He stood up from his seat and made his way over to me with a precious little jog-walk. Although we had only met once before, we still embraced each other like lifelong friends. 

“Do I finally get to know your name now?” He jokingly inquired after pulling away. 

It completely slipped my mind that I’d denied him the knowledge of my name, but for my own satisfaction, I wouldn’t let him get off that easily. 

“Do you have any guesses of it could be?” 

He pouted childishly. “Are you kidding? In a population of 350 million people, there would be about 4.4 million names. But if every country on Earth had the same nominative diversity we in the US have, that would suggest about 750 million unique names exist.”

I must admit it was fun watching him melt into a flustered mess of facts, but I was growing just as impatient as him. “Come on, just guess. You might be right.”

He rolled his eyes but indulged me willingly anyway. “Okay ... um ... Catherine.” 

“Nope.”

“Nicole.”

“Nope.”

“Gertrude.” 

“Seriously?” I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged. “Nope.”

“Olive.” 

“Pretty,” I smiled, making his face light up, too. “But no.” His smile fell. 

“This is nearly impossible.” He sighed. 

“Nothing’s impossible.” My delivery wasn’t as cheesy as the line itself, so it touched us both in a way that made that silly phrase feel like it’d never been said before. With a visible passion reignited in him, he continued. 

“Francis.”

“Okay, maybe this is impossible.” 

My blunt joke brought us closer together, our heads almost knocking into one another’s as we clutched our stomachs and leaned forward to support our all-consuming laughter. When we finally calmed down, I finally confessed. 

“Okay, okay - it’s (y/n).” 

He stood there completely silent. There was no expression of his face that indicated he planned on speaking, so I elaborated. “It’s not as good as the name Spencer, I know I know -”

“I’ve never known anyone with that name before.” His hushed voice cut into mine so innocently. 

My cheeks heated from the slight compliment. “Well, now you do. And don’t you forget it.” I teased. With nothing further to say, I brushed past him to start walking away, when unconsciously, I spun my keys around my index finger and heard the familiar jingle of the metal, reminding me of something. 

“Hey, Spencer?” I turned on my heels. “Can I give you a ride home?”

And so began our routine for the entire summer. I would bring my summer homework to the library, and Spencer would help me understand it, or even complete it, and then I’d give him a ride home. We’d go to the park and read, or we’d go to the movies, or we’d hang out at a diner. And each time, I’d drop him off. 

The more time we spent together, the more I learned about him and his life. He told me about his mom, his dad - everything. I did just the same. I told him about my mom, my dad, my siblings - everything. 

Perhaps we enjoyed spending so much time together because it was a sweet escape from our houses that weren’t homes. But every time we did hang out, we just got closer and closer, and by the end of the summer, I knew my feelings perfectly clear. 

I love Spencer. 

If missing that pool party at Melody Hanes was what it took to find the absolute love of my life, then what a small price to pay it was. I wouldn’t have traded a million pool parties for that one chance encounter with Spencer at the science fair. 

One day, we were pulling into his driveway after having a picnic at the country club, and I’d just let him out of the car, when unconsciously, I said, “Bye, Spence! Love you!” 

He caught the words faster than I did. He looked like a deer in headlights, and it took me at least two seconds more to figure out why. That entire day I’d been thinking about saying it, but by the end, I decided it’d be better not to, and yet, it just came out anyway.

“You love me?” 

There were two ways I could’ve answered. The first was to deny it and say that I only meant that I loved him like a friend. The second was to be brave and validate my unintentional confession. 

In the heat of the moment, I chose the latter. 

“Yes.” I nodded, smiling from my own courage. You only live once right?

In a cruel twist of fate, Spencer never tried to speak, and instead, ran to his front door. 

“Spencer!” I yelled. “What are you-” 

He gave me one last look over his shoulder before he opened the door and closed it right behind him. That was the last I ever saw him. 

I learned, that day, that you do only live once. 

But you can die over and over again.

From that point on, he’s lived in my mind as the one that never was. 

Regret and shame manifested on Spencer’s face. “I never wanted to hurt you.” He dejectedly began. “But I was young and-and dumb and just ... so scared. God, I was so scared.” He finally looked up, if for no other reason than to gauge my reaction. “I liked you so much, but I, I just couldn’t open myself up to the possibility of being hurt by another person I loved.”

Much like my own life, Spencer’s was riddled with traumatic experiences. Except rather than being expected to take care of younger siblings, he had to take care of his mom. And having to be a parent to your own parent? That’s something I would never wish upon anyone else. 

“I ... I get it.” It was a sweet surrender, my words. After years of pent-up aggression borne from humiliation, rejection, and deep sadness, I could finally understand. “But as selfish as it sounds, I wish your past hurt hadn’t gotten in the way of our potential happiness.” 

He took each of my hands in his, encasing them with palms of warmth. “Then don’t let the same thing happen right now. Don’t let the stupid, broken teenager I was cloud your judgement of the man I am now. Let me prove to you that I’ve changed.” 

I stood there silently, an eerie parallel to how Spencer reacted to my confession eleven years ago. 

“When I saw you, it felt like a second chance. A second chance to do what I was too afraid to do back then. And I couldn’t let myself make the same mistake twice.” His eyes were piercing through my soul. Every word plucked at my heartstrings, until I could no longer keep up with the symphony they were playing. 

There was the slightest hesitation behind it, but I did inch forward. And in no time at all, Spencer saw the movement and made his own. 

His hands released mine and shot straight for my cheeks to cup them gently, while kissing me firmly. He wasn’t the same shy boy he was, and this kiss was only proof of that. The way his lips were moving so fervently made me weak at the knees. He was so desperate and needy, like even with our lips touching, he still wasn’t close enough to me. Unleashed upon me was years of yearning wrapped in prominent lust. 

“I love you.” He blurted clumsily on my lips. I didn’t return the sentiment, but that wasn’t why he said it. He wanted to say it so I’d know, not so that I’d say it back. 

“You should know,” I muttered between kisses. “I’m not leaving D.C. until tomorrow morning.” 

The biggest smirk creeped onto his face. Bastard. 

Once we’d exhausted all the things we could possibly do in public, we ran to the nearest cab we could find and exhausted all the things we could do in that, too.

It was already past midnight when we arrived at Spencer’s apartment, and though we should’ve been quiet so as not to disturb the neighbors, we were still breaking out into a fit of giggles like a bunch of teenagers sneaking around as we ran up the stairs. We hadn’t even made it past the doormat, before he seized my hips in his hands and spun me back towards him. Forcefully, he pressed me against the door while simultaneously unlocking it. That shut me up real good, lemme tell you. 

As soon as we crossed the threshold, he gave me a reprieve when he held me closer so as to stop pinning me against the door. In an effort to do the impossible, we stumbled through his apartment in a frenzy trying to undress each other while maintaining our bodily contact. With one giant tug of the zipper on my back, my dress fell to the ground. To his atonement, he left me in just a thong. Whereas he was much too overdressed in my opinion. 

No sooner did I gracelessly unbutton his shirt than we ran into a plant against the wall. Our smiles practically ruined the kiss at the sound of the crash, but it remained nonetheless. I knew I was in for something, when Spencer paused to wait for me to unbuckle his belt. That was the first time we ever really stopped in place, but just as I anticipated, I was in for it. 

When I finally freed his waist of the garment, he just as quickly placed his hand on the back of my thigh, and in one swift motion, hoisted me into the air high enough to allow my legs to wrap around his waist. My arms were loose around his neck and the feeling of his warm hands touching my bare skin sent a chill down my spine. 

Due to Spencer’s essential hand placement on my body, I had to be the one to fumble with his bedroom’s doorknob until it finally gave way. Once more, we staggered through his room before he let our lips break apart to lightly toss me onto the bed. I giggled at the squeak of the bed, driving him visibly crazy. 

He hastily unzipped his own dress pants, while I propped myself up on my elbows. When he met me on the bed, he hovered over me to the point of having to lay back down again just to see him clearly. He felt too far away so I drew him nearer by lacing my hand through his soft curls. I twirled one around my finger, which must’ve been too merciful for him to handle. 

He placed his hand on the back of mine and slid it down to his cheek. He held my hand there for a moment, leaning into the skin of my palm prior to placing a chaste kiss on it. 

He didn’t need to say it again for me to know what he was thinking. 

I love you.

The anticipation was killing me and in the most impatient manner, I pulled him down to my level, mimicking his similar habit of face-grabbing during a kiss. I knew his hands would’ve flown to my face the way they did just minutes ago, but one was too preoccupied keeping himself up and the other was busy toying with the band of my thong. I shivered at the sensation of him slipping one finger under the material and letting it glide over my tender skin right above my heat. 

“Spencer,” I mumbled in a kiss to bring his attention back to me. Although I was certainly interested to know the hidden talents of Spencer Reid and his fingers, I was restless. I’d been waiting years for this moment, and unlike most people, I didn’t want to wait another second. “I need you now.” 

He pulled his head back so he could get a full view of my face to examine my sincerity. He wanted to know if I was sure, and my eyes told him such. He nodded in acknowledgement with such speed that I was sure he was craving this as much as I was. 

Rather than looking at where our bodies were about to meet, I had to close my eyes so I could fully feel everything without any other sense taking that away from me. In a painfully slow manner, he lined himself up at my entrance. At first, he only lightly pushed in, and it was this slacken movement that made me cry out and grip his shoulders for stability.

He pushed further in until he was fully sheathed inside of me. There was a slight moment of regret for not letting him engage in foreplay before, but that quickly went away when the pain turned to pleasure. He gained more confidence in himself with each stroke, and I could feel it. The more powerfully he thrust, the more I felt myself tightening around him. The over simulation was a stark contrast from the stimulation I denied and so the sensation I was feeling was only heightened by the absence of it before. For that very reason, I knew I was already close. And maybe he knew it, too and just as sweet revenge, he decided to send me over the edge by pulling my leg over his shoulder to thrust into me a new angle. As I’m sure he predicted, I threw my head back as tears began to prick the corners of my eyes. He rode the ever exquisite border between pain and pleasure, and my tears were a manifestation of that. Not even a minute passed, before I tried to moan but pathetically failed, not even being able finish the pitiful wail without the both of us finishing together.

Our heavy panting synchronized and reverberated back to us while he slowed down his pace and pulled out. 

Perhaps in the heat of the moment, we lost all logic and reason, considering that even up till now, neither of us had realized that he didn’t use a condom. 

But what would eventually happen in the future as a result of this action, or inaction, would surely make us remember.

Spencer lowered himself down to kiss me breathlessly; strands of his hair clung to his forehead as sweat glimmered on both of us. Not until we were ready did we make our way to the bathroom so he could help clean me up. Once we returned, I gathered my clothes, but he made sure to grab my panties before I could even notice.

“Have you seen -“ I cut myself off when I saw what was dangling in his hands.

“Looking for this?” He teased.

All my energy had been spent on him that I couldn’t be bothered to fight for them back. 

“Keep ‘em.” I smirked, my hand reaching down to pick up his jacket off the floor and hold it up. “Consider it a fair trade.”

No arguments from him. 

Needless to say, I did end up finding a place to stay the night. Where and with whom you might ask? 

Well, you can probably figure that one out for yourself. 

_ _ _

I wish I could tell you I got a good night’s rest, and I could - it just wouldn’t be the truth. 

Spencer and I spent the rest of the night just talking. We filled each other in on nearly ever second of the past 11 years, and once again, I found myself reverting back to the teenager I was at the science fair. The entire world revolved around us as we spoke to each other effortlessly, like no time had passed. Even in the periods of silence, I felt comfortable. 

Spencer and I were lying on our sides facing one another when I felt compelled to profess that “I can’t talk this way with anyone. It’s just you.” 

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear with a small smile on his lips. He didn’t need to say that he felt the same way because I already knew. His hand never left my face but instead made its descent down my jawline and stopped at my chin. He raised his thumb to reach my lower lip, letting the pad of his finger graze over the soft skin of my lip. 

It felt like he was tracing every detail of my body, running his eyes over every inch at least twice so as to fully commit everything to his memory. 

At last, the tension broke when he positioned his hand comfortably at the back of my neck, bowing his head forward to kiss me. This one was quite different than our first, for it was gentler and warmer. We weren’t forcing ourselves to make up for lost time. In fact, this kiss was saying, “We’ve got plenty of time.” 

Plenty of time indeed. Which we were happy to spend making love again. 

And I will be the first to admit that if our first round of unprotected sex didn’t solidify our future predicament, this time certainly did. 

Six Weeks Later ...

“Hello?” Clearly frustrated, Emilia waved her hand in front of my face to harness me back to earth. I hadn’t realized I zoned out until she scoffed at me. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“No, sorry. Could you repeat it one more time?” 

She set down the papers in front of her and sighed unhappily. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been so distant lately.” 

It hurt to hear, even though it was the truth. I wasn’t intentionally being despondent, but it’s hard to be present when there’s so much occupying your mind, and there was one thing in particular that was keeping me up late at night recently. 

My period has always been irregular. For as long as I’ve had it, I’ve always missed a few weeks, then it would become consistent, then it would be sporadic again. In fact, there was one year where I only had four periods total. So it didn’t strike me as odd when I realized three days ago that my last period was about seven weeks ago. 

What did strike me as odd was the other symptoms I was experiencing. Menstruation cycles are known to closely mimic the symptoms of pregnancy, but with the knowledge that my period wasn’t coming, it was disconcerting to me that I was suffering the discomforts without the actual period itself. 

To me, there was only one clear explanation for this anomaly. 

I was pregnant. 

Earlier in the day, I bought a pregnancy test and was late to work because of it. If Emilia hadn’t been suspicious of my behavior before, showing up late only made her suspicion greater. 

I didn’t know when I’d take it, probably at home after work, but the anticipation was eating away at me. I would pace around the truck until Emilia finally told me to stop because the vehicle wouldn’t stop swaying with my every movement. I was biting my nails and chewing on each little piece that grew back just to bite it back down to the nub. My hands couldn’t stop shaking, my breathing wouldn’t slow down. I was a hysterical mess. 

I didn’t tell Spencer any of my concerns, of course, but being as perceptive as he is, he noticed my strange mannerisms despite my best efforts to hide them. 

“Your breathing just got faster. Are you feeling okay?” He paused the movie we were watching to check in on me one time. It should be known that the scene that caused my heavier breathing was a scene of a woman finding out she was pregnant and being absolutely devastated. I quickly brushed it off as just being too warm, to which he turned on his air conditioning. Luckily for me, he didn’t make the connection. 

And it’s not that I didn’t want to tell Spencer - I really did - but why should I make a fuss about something if there ended up being nothing to worry about? That would just be extra stress, and the last thing a new, blossoming relationship needs is additional strain. 

So without Spencer, I had to opt for the next best thing - my sister.

I’d reached my wits end, and I couldn’t keep up the act any longer. I was walking on eggshells with practically everyone I knew, and I’d sooner go crazy if I didn’t tell someone what I was really feeling. So in response to her question, I finally told the truth. 

“I think I might be pregnant.” 

You can imagine the shock on my sister’s face. Emilia’s jaw became one with the floor as her eyes widened so big I thought they would pop out of her head. 

“You’re pregnant?” Already her eyes were welling up with tears of joy. 

“I don’t know yet.” I put my arms around her to keep her calm and stable while the emotions began overpowering her. I wanted it to serve as a reminder to not get her hopes up, otherwise she’d get mine up, too. 

“Well, have you taken a test?” 

I reached for my purse behind her and rummaged through it until I finally retrieved the box. Holding it up, I reluctantly suggested, “I thought maybe you could be there for me when I did?” 

She squealed with joyful elation, practically shattering the window pane with the high pitch of her voice. On top of that, she was jumping up and down with elegant grace that I had to wonder how her pregnant body could even manage to do such a thing. 

“Of course, I will! Come, come, let’s go.” 

We hopped off the truck and to the nearest restroom, which admittedly wasn’t the nicest of places, nor was the place I ever imagined as a child that I’d be finding out I was pregnant in, but it had to do for now. 

When I first came out of the stall, I set the test face down on the sink, so that we wouldn’t see it until it was ready. Emilia set a timer for 10 minutes, but in the meantime, all we could do was wait. Neither of us could stay still; Emilia bounced up and down, rubbing her belly while facilitating some sort of breathing exercise. Meanwhile, I kept tapping my foot impatiently. 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Emilia’s alarm scared the shit out of me, and we both were startled by the blaring sound. It was so jarring, but even that wouldn’t compare to the fear I felt when I realized it was finally time. 

“Do you wanna look or should I?” She asked. 

“You look.” I said at first. But when she lunged forward to take it, I did, too. “No wait, I should.” Then another moment of hesitation. “No, you do it. I can’t.” 

I held my hands over my mouth while I watched her carefully lift the test off the sink, maneuvering it in such a way that only she would see the results. I watched her expression closely for any sign of a reaction, but she was stoic as can be. I couldn’t tell if she was disappointed, happy - nothing. Complete and total poker face. 

“Come on, Emilia! What does it say?” I blurted anxiously.

“Well, first, what do you want it to say?” 

That was a question I hadn’t considered. I was so busy worrying about what I didn’t know, to pause and think about what I wanted to find out. On the one hand, I’d be ecstatic if the test confirmed that I was pregnant. I’d jump for joy because that was what I always wanted, right? But on the other hand, if it said I wasn’t pregnant, then I’d be sort of sad because I got so close to that lifelong dream. But after that, I’d probably just be relieved to have dodged a bullet.

“I don’t know,” I confessed. “I don’t know-”

“Don’t think. Just tell me. What do you want it to say?” 

Without missing a beat, I replied, “Positive.” My sister and I alike were stunned by my answer. “Yeah,” I nodded slowly. “Positive. I want it to say positive.” I repeated, to cement my earnest desire. 

Emilia’s facade melted away as she began to shake her head. “I’m sorry, (y/n). There’s only one line.” 

We both knew what that meant, even if she didn’t explicitly say it. I sighed dejectedly, which was a surprise to even myself. I didn’t expect to be this disappointed, and yet I was. The knot it my stomach worked itself free, and where that pit used to be was just emptiness. My heart sunk and steadied itself, and my breathing resumed its normal pace. 

“Well,” I bit my lip. “I guess that’s that.” 

Emilia instantly drew nearer to pull me in for a hug, one I was not ready to accept but welcomed anyway. “I’m sorry, (y/n). But I mean, sometimes tests just come out with false negatives.” With her face still buried in the crook of my neck in our hug, she mumbled, “Not this one, though. This one’s positive.” 

Immediately, I retreated from our hug and pulled her in front of my view. The sneaky girl had a huge grin that took up 99% of her face. 

“You’re pregnant!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, shaking my body violently. We embraced each other in another hug while simultaneously jumping up and down. “I just wanted to trick you so you would know how you really feel. Now you know!” 

And I did know. I did know that I wanted this baby and that I was glad it even existed. 

Not long after our mini-celebration did I start to come down from the high of my euphoria. A certain realization dawned on me like a cloud of gray hanging above my head to rain on my parade. 

What about Spencer?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　

PART 2 HERE!

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[airi-p4]

Love in the sky

I wrote this for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers LBSC Sprint challenge - Meet cute week event and, once again, I got carried away and broke all the rules. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Prompt: Sitting next to each other on the plane.

Summary: Marinette is going to NY on an international flight for the first time. What she doesn’t know is that the one seated next to her is the popular new band Kitty Section’s guitarist: Luka Couffaine.

Thank you @livrever for checking it for me 💙

AO3

______________________________________

Marinette rushed through the aisle of the plane. She couldn’t believe she almost missed it! her first international trip to the US! Stupid alarm! Of course she was tired. She was so nervous she couldn’t sleep all night… until 5AM… and the plane departed at 10AM… and obviously she had to oversleep. *sigh*

Running, tripping and spinning on her feet, she finally searched for her seat. 38B - aisle seat. Her pink polka dotted suitcase was heavy, but thanks to the cabin attendant she could finally put it inside the overhead bin, while her backpack rested under the seat in front of her. All set, she let her weight fall on the seat at last and let out a deep breath as she fastened her seatbelt.

The doors of the plane closed, and the PA message started: Welcome on board… Security instructions… Marinette wasn’t listening. Her legs were uncontrollably shaking, and her fingers were fidgeting with the laces of her hoodie.

Those nerves and stress couldn’t be healthy.

She examined her surroundings, and, next to her, someone was sleeping. Someone, who appeared to be a young man, with a sleeping eye mask and a face mask on, messy blue hair showing under a knit hat and a blanket covering his body. Overall, it didn't give much more information about her plane's seat neighbor. Not wanting to wake him up, she focused on the rest of the passengers instead. Why were all of them so quiet when she felt her heart could burst out of her chest anytime?

The plane started its runaway and Marinette closed her eyes tightly when it raised from the lane. Once in the air, she started breathing again, but her heart was still beating fast.

"First time on a plane?" a masculine voice beside her asked.

She turned to her side, and looked at the person seated next to her. His eye mask was over his head now, and she could see his blue eyes clearly, while his blue bangs partly covered his eyebrows.

“Y- yes!” she squeaked.

“You’re making me nervous too. Calm down, it’s going to be ok” he assured.

“I- I know!" She said, but her body wasn’t obeying. “I’m sorry...”

The young man sighed. “Look, I’ve been on a plane many times. It’s safe. Why don’t you try to sleep? It’s going to be a long flight.”

“I- I can’t! I’m too nervous! I’ve never traveled alone before, plus my career depends on this trip! I can’t stay calm!”

“Why don’t you try listening to some music, then? It always helps me relax” the young man offered her a sympathetic look.

“Music…?” she blinked. ‘It could work’.

She plugged the earphones and put them in her ears. Then, she scrolled through the music programs on the touch screen in front of her. Classical music? For some reason, it only made it worse. Country music? Not her style. XY? Hell, no. Her eyes stopped at the name of a fairly new band: “Kitty Section”. She played the video called: “Kitty Section's Paris Live Concert”.

“Good choice” the man next to her said when the title started showing on the screen.

Marinette had heard about the band called Kitty Section. They had featured in most of her favorite magazines after they won Eurovision several months ago, but she wasn't familiar with their music. In less than a minute, she was hooked and forgot completely about her surroundings or her nerves.

“Wow!” she mumbled, mesmerized, and the man next to her let out a snicker.

The music was amazing- the rock vibes, their stage presence, the vocalists’ cuteness and high ranged voice, the accurate and insane drums, the gorgeous purple haired bassist… all of them sounded incredible. But the guitarist… the blue haired guitarist was extraordinary- unbelievably good. Not only talented, but also powerful, charismatic and incredibly handsome.

“They’re good, huh?” The man beside her commented and she nodded. She could tell he was smiling under his face mask. She nodded in agreement.

“I had never heard them properly before but damn- they are incredible” Marinette answered, and he laughed. Her fingers tapped rhythmically, following the beat of the song.  “But…" she continued, observing. "I think they could do better. There’s a margin of improvement,” she said with judging eyes.

“Oh, really? How?” The blue-eyed man asked, curious, resting his elbow on the arm rest to get a closer look.

“The costumes,” Marinette pointed out. Then, she reached her backpack under her feet and took out a sketchbook and a pen and started drawing. “The outfits could be improved if they added this, and this” she signaled. “And this-” She kept scribbling while the blue-haired man observed and listened to her suggestions. “And ta-da! Wouldn’t they look even better if they were like this?” She proudly showed him her designs, only to realize she was being embarrassing towards a stranger. “Ah, sorry- I got carried away…” She apologized. But the man took the sketchbook in his hands.

“Let me see,” he said, and she saw how his eyes examined every detail of her drawings. She gulped nervously. It felt like her skills were being tested. But the man took his face mask off and smiled. “Wow, that’s impressive. Fresh, charismatic, unique- and perfectly according to the band's style. I love them" he returned her the sketchbook. "You’re very talented. Are you famous? Do you take commissions?” He asked, and she looked at him speechless.

“I- I’m still a no-one… Is it really impressive?” She looked at him and blushed at the compliment.

“Yes, I think so. What would you do with this outfit?” He asked, showing him a photo of the same band on his smartphone. Her inspiration overflowed as she kept drawing and explaining her ideas. They kept discussing costumes and visual aspects of the band and chatted comfortably for a long time.

"I think Rose should go with something more… daring, bolder. She looks innocent but she's fierce inside. Of course, cuteness is her main trait, so I think she should combine both" she explained, coloring her design with colored pencils. "I think something like this would be perfect for her" she showed him her sketchbook and he was impressed. “As for Juleka-” She continued, turning to a blank page. “She’s so beautiful. I wish she didn’t cover her face so much, even if the mystery look is really attractive too…" She stopped drawing for a moment to admire the bassist on the screen. "Gosh- She's so gorgeous! I wish I was that beautiful” she commented.

“I think you’re even more beautiful than her, you know?” The blue-haired man casually said, and she shyly blushed with a 'no way' frantic arms movements. “What about the guitarist?” he asked, raising an eyebrow with a smug smile.

“Luka Couffaine? OH LORD SHOW MERCY- Have you seen him? And his eyeliner? It should be ILLEGAL to be this HOT” She said, convinced.

“Hmmm… So you like him, huh?” He teased, his smile widening.

“Who doesn’t, really?” She shrugged. “He’s literally the SEXIEST man alive. His eye contact with the camera could kill! Oh, and whenever he gets shirtless on stage or photoshoots? GOD- I almost get a nosebleed EVERY FREAKING TIME! He's TOO DAMN HOT" She fanned herself at the image. "Don’t you agree?" She asked and he blinked twice. "You like him too, right? You have so many photos of them in your phone! I bet he’s making you question your sexuality too, like he does with all my friends! How could anyone resist those blue eyes and his manly features, his soft looking blue hair and- his tattoos..." She looked away from her seat neighbor's blue piercing eyes, and focused at the smartphone screen again, to a close-up photo of Kitty Section’s guitarist. "How did you get these close-up casual photos...?” she asked, and then she noticed the tattoo on his neck. She looked back and forth at the man seated next to her and the one in the picture. ‘It couldn't be, right…?’ And at that moment, when he had a knowing smile on his face- one she knew too well-, she realized who he was seated next to on the plane. Her eyes opened as big as plates and she overheated. He was smirking amusingly at her reaction. “You- You- You are-? Lu-Lu-Luk- It can’t be…”

He nodded to confirm her suspicions and her jaw fell to the floor. “Hi. I think I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Luka. But I think you already know that. It’s nice to meet you.” He chuckled, straightening his hand for a handshake.

“Oh God, kill me now...” She mumbled, sinking on the table. Luka snickered.

“What’s your name?”

“Ma-Ma-Marinette… I mean- Marinette!” She felt his eyes on her and panicked. “Excuse me- I- I need a moment... This- This is too much- Oh My God...” She stood up and rushed to the end of the plane, not without tripping twice on her way there.

________________________

While Marinette was gone, the two ladies in front of Luka and Marinette’s seats turned to Luka. “Having fun?” They smirked, knowingly. He was chuckling, having real trouble to keep his laugh from escaping.

“Oh, God, Yes. This is so much fun." He wiped the tears that were forming on his eyes. "I think I’ve found our potential new costume designer” he continued laughing under his nose.

“Only that? I think there’s more...” Juleka smirked, and Rose giggled in agreement by her side. He couldn't deny it: his sister was totally right.

Behind Luka's seat, Kitty Section's drummer, Ivan and his girlfriend Mylene had been enjoying the show the blue-eyed pair had been giving. It was definitely more entertaining than any movie. It would have been perfect if they had popcorn to accompany their fortunate first row seats to the hilarious show. They also approved Marinette's designs.

Luka took the chance Marinette wasn't there to freely stand up, go talk to their managers and stretch his legs for a bit.

_________________________

Back at the end of the plane, Marinette drank some juice and moved to the bathroom. She was panicking in front of the mirror, talking to herself.

“OH. MY. GOD. I’m seated next to Luka Couffaine! For at least… 5 hours more!? And I just called him hot! And- And- he said I’m beautiful and talented! And- Oh my God, he asked me for commissions, right? This can’t be real- I-" her feet wiggled uncontrollably and she let out a long squeak. "Ahh… Calm down, Marinette! He’s human- A sexy human, but still human! He’s famous but very friendly, kind and nice. And fun! It’s going to be alright. Just- Avoid his eyes. That’s it. It’s dangerous. Don’t fall in love. You’re not a teenager anymore, you’re over that stage, right? Only a few hours more. You can do it. I CAN DO IT!” She convinced herself with a confident nod and returned to her seat, only to find Luka was gone.

She looked for him from her seat, at her surroundings, but he was nowhere to be found. She sighed in both relief and sadness as she seated.

For some reason, she was missing him. Which was stupid, considering they had just met! But his company was certainly enjoyable... And, moreover, it was FUN. More than she ever remembered having. And not only because she was passionate about fashion or music. It had to do with his aura, his personality, his gentle manners- just... Luka.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back in a moment” A voice said from in front of her. “My brother is stupid, but he’s a decent person. Treat him well” The purple haired lady winked, beside a petit blond lady.

“Jul-!” She covered her mouth with her hands to stop herself from yelling her name. “And Rose-!?” 'Oh, no! They might have heard what I said too!' She panicked again and the ladies giggled amused.

“Ignore my sister and her girlfriend” Luka returned, and her face flustered when she noticed how tall and well built he was (not that she didn't know that, but it hit differently in first person). “Can I get back to my seat?” He politely asked, pointing at the window seat.

“Ah-! Yes! Of course!” She stood up so suddenly she tripped and fell on Luka’s chest. She immediately moved away in embarrassment, falling back instead, and Luka had to hold her again to avoid her imminent fall. “I’m sorry!”

“Are you ok?” He asked in concern, and she shyly nodded. Luka reluctantly let go of her and returned to his seat and Marinette settled back to hers.

Wait- Was that a blush on his face?

“Here” Luka offered her an envelope. “I don’t know what your plans in NY are but, here’s a VIP pass to our concert next Sunday. There’s also our contact card inside. I want you to consider the idea of working for us. Your costumes are impressive. We discussed it, and we want you in our team” Marinette had no words- totally speechless. Could she be this lucky? “What do you say?” Luka asked with a hopeful tender smile that made her weak.

“I- I’ll think about it. And- Oh God- I’ll totally be there for your concert” She blushed and Luka smiled kindly at her. Suddenly, she started searching inside her backpack, and took out a business card she offered him. “This is my contact. I- I have a fashion event next Monday. I would love you to come, if you can make it. Send me an email and I’ll get you some passes”

“Wow! That's impressive. I'll try to make it. Thank you, Marinette”

Marinette could hear her heart beating faster. No looking in his eyes, dammit. They kept talking for a while, enjoying their time together until they fell asleep out of exhaustion, Marinette’s head resting on Luka’s shoulder. He woke up earlier than her, but didn’t have the heart to wake her up until lunchtime. She looked like she really needed that rest.

When he left half of his lunch untouched, Marinette scolded him. “You have to eat! You’re too thin! Those abs and arms need consistency! Proteins!” She pointed at a photo of him shirtless and flustered again in embarrassment in realization. “Ah-”

Gosh- it really was fun, Luka thought, chucking. It was hard not to laugh out loud. Everything flowed so naturally it was unbelievable.

Damn. He didn’t want the plane to ever land.

“Marinette” he called, during their coffee time, and she looked back at him, redness still on her cheeks. “The plane will land soon but- Even if you don’t accept our offer… Is it possible for us to meet again? Out of business? Like this?”

Marinette flustered at his implications. “Do- Do you mean-?”

“A date. Would you go on a date with me, Marinette? Or just as friends, if you prefer. I like you, and I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun with anyone else” He took Marinette’s pen and one of his ‘Kitty Section’ contact cards and wrote something behind it. “These are my personal telephone number and email. We'll be in NY until Friday next week. It would make me very happy if you contact me, whenever you prefer, anytime” He said, securing the card in her hands.

Marinette blushed, looked at the card with glowing eyes, and then at his honest loving stare. Was it even possible that the man everyone was gushing about was asking her out? But this had nothing to do with his stage persona. Luka was someone she more than enjoyed spending time with. Naturally, quietly, assuring… She had no doubts about her answer.  

“I want to meet you again, too” she stated, and wrote her personal number under his wristband. “I’m free on Wednesday” she shyly smiled, and his smile widened.

“Wednesday is it, then. I'll manage to find the time. Just for you." He smiled happily and only then she realized how deep she had fallen.

Ah- she hadn't wanted to fall in love. What a way to fail her own determination… But she couldn't complain, not at all.

And he felt the same way.

Luka and Marinette's hands locked together, and they lost themselves in each other’s eyes, smiling at each other.

“Why don’t you kiss her already, dumbass?” Juleka called, and Marinette blushed. “He won’t kiss you if you don’t give him proper permission, you know? He’s very considerate despite his looks. Tell him already”

“Jules… Why don’t you mind your business and make out with Rose instead?” He shushed his sister and Rose giggled, embracing Juleka. Luka returned his attention to Marinette. “Sorry about that”

“It’s ok… I-” She started, looking at his thin lips. “Will you kiss me if I want to? Because I think I do...”

“You do?” he asked, and she shyly nodded and he smiled softly, making her heart flutter.

She closed her eyes and he leaned closer to give her a sweet kiss on her cheek. She pouted a little, in disappointment, but he told her that, if she really wanted to kiss him, that would be the perfect excuse to meet him again and make it more special, like a beautiful lady like her deserved. Marinette understood his reasoning and agreed with it, despite the slight disappointment she felt she would have to wait a few days to get the chance to kiss him. Nevertheless, both of them happily smiled while their fingers remained interlaced, chatting and enjoying their time together the rest of the flight, until the plane landed and they had to unavoidably say their farewells.

“Thank you for everything, Luka. I forgot how scared I was of planes thanks to you and- I’ll see you soon?”

“I really hope so. I still owe you something, right?" He winked and she blushed happily. Luka gave her a final discreet and quick kiss on her knuckles. "Gosh- I miss you already...” He added, and Marinette felt the urge to cry. She dropped her bag to hold him in a needed embrace. He gladly reciprocated her gesture. Despite neither wanting to separate, they forced themselves to. "I hope I see you soon, Marinette"

"Me too, Luka…" she wiped her tears and waved, as the band started walking away.

When the arrivals doors opened and all the camera flashes blinded her, she understood why Kitty Section members always wore sunglasses in airports. They were more popular than she could have expected. She understood why he had refused to kiss her outside of the plane, but he still saluted her before disappearing in the multitude of fans and paparazzis.

On the other side, Sabrina, Audrey Bourgeois’ assistant, waited for her. She had almost forgotten about her own business. But now, she found the motivation she had lacked. If she was willing to be with Luka, she had to become the best. She wanted to make a name of herself, more than ever. And her meeting with Luka certainly boosted her confidence.

Unexpectedly, her trip to NY had already become one of her most memorable experiences yet. And it had just started! She couldn't wait to spend the rest of the week in the city.

[betweenthepages]

Hold Me, Love Me; Dean Forester x Male! Reader

Warnings ⚠️ - mentions of rape, sexual assault

Summary: Dean has difficulty finding a mate due to being different to most omegas. But on one faithful night, he finds someone who will accept him for his differences and give him the life he deserves.

Word count: 3218

Being an omega wasn’t easy. You were the lowest in society, had the least power. If you were unmated, you had to deal alphas staring you down everywhere you went, pure hunger and lust in their eyes. It was sickening. However if you were Dean Forester, life was twice as difficult. Everyone figured he’d present as an alpha, with his steady build and towering height. When he was revealed to be an omega, there were mixed reactions. His friends and family were surprised, but they would accept him no matter what. On the other hand, he got looks of disgust from the townspeople. Omegas were meant to be small, pretty. Not like him.

Dean wished he had a mate. Someone to love him, take care of him and hopefully be the father of his future children. And if he found his soulmate, he’d finally be spared from men whistling at him on the streets or constantly looking over his shoulder while on a late night walk. No one would dare touch a mated omega. There were too many stories of alphas going on a possessive rage when another alpha dare even look at their mate for too long, sometimes it lead to death. Dean was stronger than most omegas, thank god for that but he wasn’t taking any chances.

Unfortunately, the chances of him finding an alpha were slim. No one could love someone like him, or at least that’s what he thought. Even though Dean’s body was different, his personality was very omega-like, something alpha’s would swoon over. He was shy and timid, easily startled. He had a look of innocence in his eye, which increased the common desire to wreck him. He was well mannered and had such a kind soul, always willing to help anyone who needed it. His heart was simply too big for his chest. Of course people took advantage of that sometimes, but he didn’t let a couple mishaps ruin his sweet nature.

Dean stared at the calendar on the wall, his face paling. His heat was in a week. And he was out of suppressants. Panic took over him as he realised he was supposed to start taking them today, as you have to take them every night a week before your heat for them to work. Shit shit shit. His eyes darted to the clock. 11:15 at night. Going out this late by himself was a death wish, but he had no choice. Going through a heat by yourself without medication was unbearable, and he wasn’t willing to go through that. He looked at his outfit in the mirror, making sure his clothes were baggy enough to cover every inch of his body, anything that might tempt alphas.

He took a deep breath, wiping his hands on his jeans. It was just a walk around the block to the pharmacy. Not too far. He’ll be there and back in no time. The icy wind brought goosebumps to his skin. There wasn’t anyone on the street at this hour, at least not anyone in sight. Sometimes alphas would hide in bushes or alleyways and pounce on unsuspecting omegas. The thought made him shudder. He increased his pace, following the light of the dimly lit street lamps.

So far so good. Just a little more and- fuck. There was a dimly lit alleyway he had to pass to get to the store. His blood ran cold. Fear churned in his gut staring into the dark abyss. Anything- anyone could be in there. Was he willing to take the chance? Come on you idiot, you’re just being paranoid. What are you, five? Just walk past it, no big deal. He was brave. He needed those meds, and he has to take the risk. He screwed his eyes shut, walking as fast as he could, ignoring his heart pounding in his chest. When he opened his eyes, he realised the alleyway was behind him. Unimaginable relief filled his chest. Of course there was no one there. He was just scared for nothing.

Suddenly, a pair of footsteps paced behind him. “Hey boys, look what we’ve got here.” His relief was short lived. Very, very short lived. His heart dropped. Four more pairs of footsteps followed. There were more of them. Dean’s first instinct was to run. But his legs felt weak, like he was frozen in place. He was rather agile, but there was a whole group of them. Surely one of them would catch up if he tried to escape. He turned around hesitantly, seeing five males about his age standing there, eyeing him hungrily. “Now what’s a pretty little thing like you doing out this late, hm?” The one in the middle, their leader seemingly, spoke up. Dean wished he could wipe off that disgusting smirk on his face.

“P-Please-” he took a step back, “what do you want? Money? I’ll give it you just leave me alone.” He felt tears well up. No matter how much he tried to reason with them, it was useless. “I think we’ve found our prey tonight.” He said calmly, a dangerous glint in his eye. “Get him.” It all happened so fast. Before he could process it, there were hands all over him, dragging him by the shirt, plunging him into the darkness. No one would find him here, no one would hear his cries for help. Besides, there wouldn’t be anyone else out this late to interfere. This couldn’t be happening. He prayed this was some nightmare and he’d wake up soon. But that wasn’t the case. He was truly helpless.

You sighed, looking up into the pitch black sky. No stars tonight. Pity, you usually liked stargazing in the park at this hour. You usually took long midnight strolls to clear your head. It worked too. An odd sense of peace filled the town’s atmosphere at this hour. Well, the atmosphere lasted until you caught a whiff of the air. A strong scent filled your nose, similar to stench of rain. Your eyes widened when you realised what it was. The smell of an omega in distress. And judging by how prominent it was, the poor thing was in a lot of danger. Most people would’ve turned back and went home, not wanting to get in any trouble. But you couldn’t stand the thought of turning around and acting like nothing happened when someone’s life could be on the line. Doesn’t matter what their status was, they needed help.

You sniffed the air again and you ran to the direction it was coming from. You really hoped you got there in time before something bad happened. Thankfully it wasn’t far, just around the street corner. As you got closer, you realised it was coming from a dark alleyway. Oh. You had a pretty good guess of what was happening right now. You’d heard countless stories of omegas being attacked in places like this. It boiled your blood thinking some alphas could take advantage of others just because of their biological status, something no one could control.

Loud whimpers filled your ears, and in the darkness you could make it a few bodies surrounding a large figure. Your fist clenched. Red filled your vision. It was all a blur. You ran up to one of the guys, knocking him out with one punch. Two others tried to jump on you, but you sent them flying to the wall. You swore you heard a crack at the impact. “G-Guys let’s go.” The group leader figured messing with you wasn’t a good idea. They didn’t hesitate to flee, picking up their unconscious friend along the way.

Now they were out of the way, you had to deal with the figure hunched over on the ground. “Hey-” you reached out a hand, but the person panicked, scambling against the wall. Fear pheromones wafted in the air. You crouched down to their level, slowly inching towards the trembling form. “Shh, I’m not gonna hurt you. Don’t be scared.” Your voice sounded so soft, so genuine, Dean looked up to make eye contact.

Something shifted in you when you gazed into those chocolate orbs. You couldn’t explain the feeling, exactly, only it was intense. And warm. All your senses screamed to you, ‘mate!’ You were stunned. He wished he inflicted more damage on those boys before they left. This was your mate, sitting here in a cold dark alleyway with the living daylights scared out of him. Dean experienced the feeling as well, only afterwards he felt shame. His alpha found him like this, in a pitiful state almost taken by other people. He was weak, easy to use. He whimpered, making your heart clench. Your mate instinct made you want to comfort him, take him into your arms and tell him everything’s alright, that you were here and no one was going to hurt him. But you couldn’t. Not now, at least. The boy had almost been attacked, and now he found his mate. He needed to process the situation.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” You asked gently, hoping the petname would coax him a little. “D-Dean. My name’s Dean.” He sniffled. “I’m (Y/N). Listen, do you want to go back to my place? It’s not too far from here. I won’t try anything, I promise. It’s probably closer than your and I suppose you might need some company tonight.” You looked at him hopefully. “Yes please.” He agreed quietly. You practically saved his life. And you were his mate. He wanted to be near you. “Are you hurt?” You asked worriedly, looking for any injuries. He shook his head no, there were just a couple bruises here and there, nothing too serious. “You’re shivering,” you frowned, wrapping your jacket around him. His eyes widened. He was completely enveloped in your scent. You smelt like cinnamon and honey. It put his mind to ease, calming him immediately.

You took his hand and helped him to his feet, extending an arm to him. He gladly took it, walking close to you. He’d just met you, but you made him feel so safe. You observed his facial features under the moonlight. He was so beautiful. He didn’t look like any other omega you’ve seen before though. He a bit taller than you, admittedly a subtle blow to your ego. But it was cute. The walk home was relatively quiet, understandably so. He was still a little shaken up from what happened, you couldn’t expect to him to act calm.

Your apartment was rather large even though you lived by yourself. You saw Dean looking around the place in awe, which had you biting back a smile at how adorable he was. You thoroughly enjoyed the thought of having him around often. Newly mated couples tended to move in together one or two days after they met because being seperated wasn’t good for their mental state. “Sit down.” You motioned to the coach. He did as told with his hands in his lap, looking up at you shyly through his brown locks. You took your place next to him, wondering where to go from here. “Have you eaten dinner yet?” You asked. He shook his head no. “There’s some soup in the fridge I can heat up for you. You can go shower in the meantime. I’ve got some clothes that might fit. How does that sound?” He nodded. “Thank you.” He said quietly. “No problem.” You smiled back, motioning him to follow you.

The hot water was therapeutic in easing Dean’s tense muscles. An almost disaturous night was slowly turning out for the better. He had a mate- an extremely handsome alpha. The thought made him giddy. Plus you were so, so nice. So far you’d welcomed him to your home and let him borrow your clothes and made him food. You were able to protect him. Nonetheless, he didn’t have time to swoon now, not when dinner had yet to be served. He admired himself in the mirror in the clothes he picked for you. Just a simple black hoodie and sweatpants. They were a little big but he loved them because they were yours.

You had his back turned to him when he entered the kitchen, stirring the pot on the stove. You felt a presence behind you, your eyes landing on the omega. “Food’s almost done.” You said gently. He nodded but stayed put, interested in seeing you cook. “Can I watch you?” Dean asked, fiddling with his sleeve. “Sure thing.” Your next action took him by surprise. He gasped as you lifted him effortlessly and placed him on the countertop, his long legs dangling off the edge.

“So, Dean... How old are you?” You asked, wanting to know more about the boy who’d hardly spoken a full sentence the whole night. “I’m seventeen.” Ah, you’d be just one grade above him. “Oh, I’m eighteen. Do you work anywhere? What do major in?” “I work in a café. My dream job would be to work with animals though. I’m a biology major.” You hummed. The room went silent for a bit. Dean felt like the conversation was all about him and he wasn’t cooperating enough. You’d done so much for him so far and he couldn’t get a word out. He was nervous. Nervous about saying the wrong thing, nervous about rambling. He knew deep down you wouldn’t make fun of him, but his anxiety said otherwise.

“Soup’s ready.” You said, carrying two bowls to the dining table, Dean following suite. The two of you ate in silence, stealing occasional glances at each other. “It’s really good.” Dean said. You smiled warmly. “Glad you like it.” You were genuinely trying your best to make him comfortable and get him to open up. You didn’t want your mate feeling anxious around you.

He helped you with the dishes and before you knew it, it was time for bed. Despite his protests you insisted on taking the couch. As much as you wanted to hold him and cuddle all night, you respected his boundaries. Currently you were seated on the couch since you wanted to discuss something with him. “Dean, do you want to talk about what happened tonight? You don’t have to, but it might make you feel better.” You asked gently, squeezing his hand. Tears welled up in his eyes recounting earlier events. The sheer terror he felt at that moment was indescribable.

“I-I was going to the pharmacy for some medication,” he sniffled, “and those alphas came out of nowhere. I know it my fault for going out that late b-but I really needed those pills and...” If you’d never felt the urge to kill someone, you did now. But you needed to control your anger and comfort your mate. “Sweetie no, this isn’t your fault at all. You shouldn’t have to avoid going out and night just because some bastard alphas can’t keep it in their pants.” He looked up at you, eyes bloodshot with tear tracks running down his cheeks, a sight that made your heart clench. “Can I have a hug alpha?”

“Of course you can.” You brought him to your welcoming arms, Dean burying his face into your chest. You rested your chin on his head, faintly catching the whiff of strawberry shampoo. “Thank you. For everything. For saving me, for letting me stay with you...” His voice came muffled from your shirt. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe with me now. I’ll protect you.”

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Panic filled Dean when he woke up in a stranger’s bed, unable to recognise anything in the room. Where was he? How did he get here? The bed sheets smelt awfully familiar. Slowly, everything that happened last night came rushing back to him. It occurred to him that he was lying in your bed. His heart swelled at the thought. However, he would prefer if the space beside him wasn’t empty.

You had just started on breakfast by the time he got to the kitchen. He offered to help out and the two of you chatted pleasantly as the golden rays of morning sun peeked through the curtains. You felt joy knowing he was warming up to you. Despite the short period of time you’d known each other, you felt like you’ve known him your whole life. It wasn’t awkward, there was no hesitation from either ends. It felt right.“(Y/N).” You hummed to signal you were listening, not taking your eyes off the frying pan. “You know how I told you I went out to get medication yesterday? They were heat suppressants.”

You turned to him, jaw dropping in shock. Out of all things to come out of his mouth, that was the last of what you expected. There was no problem of course- just short notice. “Oh. You want me to help you through it?” You wiggled an eyebrow suggestively, liking the way his face flushed at your words. “Is that really all you can think of?” Dean whined. “Well it is important to discuss wether I’ll be around or not. Do you want me to help you through it?” Being around an omega in heat was irresistible for an alpha. Even the faintest smell of slick can them into hormonal overdrive. “Mhm. I trust you.” He said. He wanted to be your first, last and everything in between.

On the third day you marked each other. Marking was a rather intimate action, it was the way of claiming someone as yours. They tended to be on the neck where it was visible to everyone, and you had to take care of them for a few days while it was sore, or else you’d risk infection and a deformed mark. It was Dean’s first time going into public since that night so you could help him move some of his stuff to your place. Let’s just say you weren’t weren’t taking any risks when it came to the safety of your omega. He’d be lying if he said your protectiveness wasn’t a massive turn on.

Day five was when the pre-heat began. The pre-heat period was when an omegas body prepared to go into heat. Excessive clinginess and need for affection weren’t too uncommon either. Dean would crawl into your lap at the most random times, whether you were working on an essay or watching TV. He wore your hoodies around the house, scented everything you owned. Cuddling was a necessity. Sometimes he’d get you to lay on his lap, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair as you nuzzled his stomach. Good morning and goodnight kisses were a must. You two started sleeping in the same bed, but you didn’t always cuddle. On nights where you’d slept a good distance opposite each other you’d find him snug in your arms when you woke up.

However, despite his bodily needs, Dean still respected your personal space and gave you time to yourself though he was constantly aching for your touch. Never overstepping, never being the source of your frustration. You couldn’t begin to fathom how you got lucky enough to be mated with someone as kind and warm-hearted as your babyboy. Fate was good.

https://ko-fi.com/sunehri_c

[miyalove]

hello, i hope you're staying healty and feeling good! since requests are open can you write a scenario where atsumu confesses to his f!crush in a indirect way? "moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" it's a indirect way of saying "i love you" in japanese, for example. i hope that makes sense! thank you in advance~

—pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader

—warnings: none, reader is into stars, that’s about it, *unedited

—synopsis: 1.2k | one late night, you and your best friend decide it’s a perfect time to go star gazing. during that time, unknowingly atsumu confesses his feelings of love towards you.

—a/n: thank you for requesting, anon! this was a little bit of a doozy for me, i won’t lie! also i couldn’t find any other ways to “indirectly confess” so i ended up using the example you provided! + request are open!

you’ve always been fond of night skies. whether they be dark and stormy, where clouds blocked the bright moonlight or clear and chilly where the moon laid high and mighty. night time brought out a feeling within you that made you want to stay up late and trace the stars.

“(y/n)? is that you over there?” you hear a voice huff. it’s not too far from you so you sit up on the soft grass you were laying on. you’re smiling at the familiar voice that’s no more nothing more than a whisper.

“over here!” you wave him over to you and the blonde feels a sudden relief at your melodious call. he's glad that he didn't just come up to a random stranger because, knowing him, he’d probably make a big fool of himself.

as atsumu strides over, you make note of his messy appearance. different parts of his blonde tresses stick up in crazy directions. his outfit consist of loose fitting shorts and a hoodie that has different colored stains. it takes everything in you to not burst aloud at his horrible style choices.

your brows furrow at your close friend's effortless look. as he finds purchase next to you on the grass, you can’t help but to comment on your observations, “you look like you literally just rolled out of bed.”

you let out a soft giggle while atsumu quirked a teasing brow. “is not my fault i look like this. you called me at 3 in the morning begging to come meet ya here.”

pouting, you’re quick to snap at him, “well, you know you didn’t have to come."

of course he knows that. atsumu may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows that these stargazing nights are important to you. they make you happy and to see someone he cares so deeply about smile so contently at the moon is enough for him to fight back his grogginess and meet you at your special spot. 

despite the warmth growing in his chest, the setter pouts. lips gutted out and his eyes seep with feigned irritation. “course i hada come, doll. who woulda defended you from all the creeps walking around at night, hhm? i’m like your knight in shining armor!"

rolling your eyes, you wave off his words with a quick, “whatever.” before completely plopping down into the grass again. noticing your movement, atsumu was quick to follow.

side-by-side, the soft clusters kissed at your’s and atsumu’s exposed skin. your arms tingle with the familiar tickle from the grass. it was a sensation the two of you were all too familiar with. since you were kids, the two of you would sneak out to this very park to lay in the grass and just enjoy the silent tranquility the night air provided.

as a young child you were fascinated with the stars. opposite of you, kid atsumu was less then interested. he never really understood your love for the bright balls of gas floating around space but nonetheless he never spoke against it. he was far too excited at the fact that he made his first friend ever to be too caught up on how crazy she is. 

the blonde remembers the excitement of finally making a connection with someone that wasn't his twin brother. he remembers the absolute bliss that washed over him whenever you specifically called him over to play.

the pure euphoria that would course through him when you would pat the plush grass for him to sit with you. he never hesitated to run over and take the open seat. two kids admiring nature’s god given view. however as time passed, feelings changed.

it was in middle school when you visited the same park again with your blonde best friend not far behind you. it was reaching the early hours of the morning, almost 5 am when you two finally made it to the park. laying down, you talk about anything and everything.

how classes seemed to be getting harder, how volleyball practice is going for him, and how he’s made more and more friends lately. you would hum at his words adding onto his stories every now and then. atsumu is a talker, everyone knew that, so it didn’t take much to be entertained.

as you looked up into the night sky attempting to count the stars for the umpteenth time that special night, atsumu looked up at you. your eyes shined despite the darkness enveloping your body. he was too young at the time to understand what he was feeling. too young to know that the warm sensation spreading in his chest whenever he saw you in the halls was something connected to infatuation.

this special place was a world only the two of you connected in. a place where all worries were washed away and atsumu didn’t have to think about his homework due or how the first years still need to polish up their serves. he could rest his hats as captain, student, and even brother when he entered this realm with you.

he had you to thank for this safe space. 

at the easeful thoughts, atsumu found himself looking up at the stars too. not quite matching your enthusiasm as you pointed out different constellations but nodding in awe as you rambled about them.

“wow, doesn’t the stars just always look so pretty?” you’re not looking at him so you don’t notice the way his usual smirk shifts to a genuine smile. the way the beaming orbs so light up your facade. it makes you look heavenly under the dark lights of the night. 

he’s so caught up in drinking every feature of you, that he suddenly realizes he hasn’t said anything in a while. not wanting you to suddenly catch him slipping, the blonde nods forcibly turning his attention away from you.

atsumu lets out a stifled sigh, forcing his attention to the brightest star there is, “yeah, but the moon looks beautiful tonight too, right?”

there’s a silence that envelops the two of you. the setter doesn’t think much of it. sometimes you get so caught up in your star voodoo stuff that you tune out things that he says to focus. he’s still staring at the large glowing moon when he feels your gaze set on him

abruptly, he turns to you, “you good, (y/n)?” quirking a brow, he tilts his head in concern. golden eyes meet your own and by the blank look in his hues you know he hasn’t connected what his words mean yet. 

‘the moon looks beautiful tonight’

his indirect confession echoes in your head. blushing at the double meaning that his response represents, a light chuckle escapes your lips. 

“miya atsumu, you will be the death of me...” your words are meek but not so much that they fall death to the blonde besides you.

as nosey as he is, atsumu pushes you to explain what you mean by that. he wants to know exactly why your face was rosy and what the moons is so important to you. in seconds, he’s raising his voice. practically demanding you to spill your secrets.

as he rises from the grass, he towers over your lax figure. his brows are scrunched together and golden eyes burning with something unrecognizable behind them. he’s pointing an accusing finger in your face as he paces around you. you can’t help but laugh at how childish he was acting.

watching your friend make a big deal about your secret, you decide that explaining what his words truly meant is a task for another day. 

[voltagesmutter]

Kiro x MC - Uniform

Pairing: Kiro x MC (F).

Fandom: Mr Love Queen’s Choice.

Prompt:  Master || Lapdance|| Uniform

Warning: Playful sex, slight dirty talk, Kiro just being a horny boi, internal cum-shot.

Surprise post for @alloveroliver​​ kinktober🎃

Thank you @theinariakuma​​ for being wonderful and beta-ing (again) I owe you so much 💛

Loveland’s military holiday was approaching fast and excitement buzzed through the city. A national holiday that was celebrated for all, a day where all appreciation was sent out to the troops and army. And this year, international superstar Kiro was showing his support with a new music video where all profits went to supporting the families who were part of the army.

It was a big day event that required every single team member to be on top form. The video was very hushed, Kiro not wanting to pull any attention away from the day itself during the build up. Filming would take place in one day on a set, Kiro even managing to wrangle his girlfriend, his beloved Miss.Chips, a spot on the promotion poster as a 50’s pin-up doll. Of course she was flattered to the highest point that Kiro had wanted her rather than a real model, Kiro’s exact words ‘They have nothing compared to your beauty Miss.Chips’. 

So when they arrived, in separate cars to eliminate any suspicion from the hungry, loitering press, on the morning of the shoot she never expected to be whisked away into hair and make up first thing. Her hair curled into loose waves, her fringe pinned back and held in place by a khaki green, small-side cap. Her lips painted with a bold red and a strong black line on her eyes to accentuate her facial features. A skin tight blouse with short sleeves was tucked into a pleated skirt the same colour of her cap, touching just below her mid-thighs whilst a belt brought in the illusion of her always petite waist. Stockings ran up to the edge of her knees, green heels placed on to her feet. A red cravat nestled beneath the collar of her shirt. A true vision of elegance with a sensual touch. 

Kiro found himself utterly distracted as he watched her pose a top of the prop tank that had been made for the shoot. Sitting on it with one knee raised, giving a teasing peak of her skin as the skirt rose up. Her hand in a salute position with a beaming smile on her face. Breathtaking was all he could think.

However she found herself just as distracted by him. A similar style green to the outfit she was wearing clung to him, a button up jacket laced with a gold chain that connected to a sweeping cape, a black buckle belt tightly around his waist. Tight trousers down to his ankle, gold embroidment across the outfit and a lieutenants cap was perfectly placed on his sunshine blonde hair. Power, dominance but most important patriotism radiated from him. Capturing the room as he strided in with a few striking steps. His eyes meeting hers from across the room, the sexual tension between them already pulsing and visible. 

She watched from the side as he paraded across the set, a strong sense of dignity and loyalty packed into the words he was singing. Maturity twisted into a new sense of him. One that suited him. Her eyes fixed on him, flushing slightly during in between takes as Kiro would shoot her a lust filled look or a cheeky wink. Looks that sent arousal straight down to her core and left her panties uncomfortably wet.

-

“You look so beautiful, I can’t believe I pushed to let you do this, this,” A hand ran up her thigh, under her skirt to cup the barely covered round of her ass, “Should be just for me,”.  Kiro appeared from behind causing a little gasp to fall from her mouth. He’d snuck off the set to where she stood watching, pressing himself to her back as he whispered lowly in her ear.

“I can assure you, that this only belongs to you sir,” Her voice wavering slightly as he pinched on her cheeks. A low chuckle masking a groan against her neck, the teasing press of her hips back against his groin. 

“God your making it so hard to keep sight of what I’m doing,” Pressing kisses to her neck, moving both of his hands to hold her waist. The pair hidden from view in the corner of the room, the rest of the cast and crew too busy in changing the set and prompts. “You know, we have about 7 minutes until I’m needed back on set,”.

She turned, her eyes meeting his blazoned ones, lust and need emitting from both of them. 

“Have I told you how much I love a man in uniform?” Pressing her hands to his chest, throwing her head over her shoulder for a quick scan of the room, realising no one was watching them as she slid her hands down to press over the hidden bulge in his trousers. A final check from both of them before they headed off quickly hand in hand down an empty corridor, heading in the direction of the prop room, knowing they would have less chance of being disturbed in there. 

Pulling her tightly to him, kick the door shut behind him as their lips locked. Perfectly pressed red lipstick now smearing over his lips as he tilted her head back to angle the kiss. Her hands already resuming position over his crotch- it had been rapidly hardening the minute he saw her in that outfit. 

He stood proud watching as she pulled back, just about to drop to her knees, her hands already working to undo his belt. His fingers catching her chin to keep standing, “No, I want, I need to be inside you Miss.Chips,”.

Kiro had no doubt she could bring him to a release with just her mouth in under the time they had, she’d done it it many of times before. His favourite when he was on his tour and had three minutes between stage set swaps, her mouth around his cock as she sucked him to completion with only a few seconds left to spare before he had to run back out to a crowd of fans.

"I normally wouldn't mind... But all I want to do is fuck your pretty face." His voice was low, raspy. "And with only five minutes... They'll notice if I ruin all this hard work for your makeup. So we'll save that for after."

Holding her waist he hoisted up into the air, pressing her back against the wall as her legs automatically locked around his waist. 

“You're so wet already Miss.Chips,” His voice huskier than normal as he prodded the wet stained material of her panties, directly beneath her core.

“Kiro… Kiro please,” She whispered, one arm holding onto the back of his neck whilst the other pushed his teasing fingers aside to move her underwear out of the way. “I need you, I need you so badly,”. Her voice was full of desperation, a needing plea as she lost herself into the sky-blue of his eyes. 

“Let me just-“ Pressing a finger to her, ready to sink into her but her hand tugged it away.

“Fuck me, Kiro please just fuck me,” Time was hastily running out.

Her words caused something inside him to snap, primal and urgent needs taking over as let out a low growl. Holding her waist still his other hand freed himself, spitting onto his hand as he coaxed himself with a few pumps before pressing against her. Rather than thrusting up, he pulled her down to be impaled onto his cock, a grin on his face to watch her back arch and a hand to cover her mouth shielding the wanton moans that would have flooded the room.

Kiro let a sly smirk cross his features, "So that's what you want? Don't worry Miss Chips, I'll fuck you so good. You won't be able to think straight when we have to get back out there... But don't worry. I'll make sure to reward you once we get home for being such a good girl." He bounced her with his impressive-strength, one that he rarely used showing his utter need, over his cock whilst he thrusted into her. Time working against them, the seconds counting down fast as Kiro pounded her into the wall. His lips attached to her neck whilst his thumb dropped down to circle tightly over her clit in time to his thrusts. The motion bringing on her orgasm fast and hard, with fair little warning as her walls spasmed over him. A lightly string of curses fell from her mouth, jaw slackened as she tossed the hat off his head to ground herself with one hand tugging at his hair. 

“Kiro-Kiro! Too much..I-” She whimpered, the hand on the back of his head digging her nails into his scalp whilst the other curled into a fist and slammed the solid wall against her. His movements never ceasing, the thumb over her clit continuing to circle the hyper-senstive flesh.

"I know I'm being greedy, Miss Chips... But I need another...".

"A-another?" Her voice, heavy and thick with pleasure and confusion until his actions answered her. “Oh fuck Kiro!” Head thrown back as Kiro threw her head first into another orgasm, walls tightening and pulling him deeply back into her every time he thrusted. Her efforts to keep quiet failed, Kiro holding a complacent grin to see how undone and unraveled she had become and it was all because of him. 

Her release brought on his own as her muscles pulsed over him, his lips crashing down on hers to capture the moans of both of them. An attempt to keep their noise to a minimum, her cries of pleasure would have lured more attention than he’d have liked secretly praying no one, Savin, heard them. 

“I got you baby, I got you,” He whispered between kisses, pulling his thumb away from her clit as her after-shocks and trembles eased. Both her hands grasping onto his shoulders, mixed breathes struggling to regain their normality as they stilled in their position. Both of them savouring the blissful feeling of their afterglow for a few seconds before he finally pulled his softened cock out of her. A thick trail of their mixed releases slowly leaked from her abused hole, Kiro moving her underwear in place to try keep it from spreading across her thighs. Although the top of them were purely soaked with messy arousal, the scent of sex dancing across her lower half. 

“Good girl Miss.Chips,” Kiro continued to kiss her softly as he put her legs down on the ground, they were still trembling as she continued to cling to him for support. He thumbed under her eyes to wipe the small trail of mascara that collected on her skin from her watery eyes, wiping them over her mouth to remove the smudge of her rouge lips and helped sort out their outfits. He grabbed his hat she had thrown off of him, taking his hand in hers before guiding them to leave the prop room, a low whisper as he told her, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep all my promises for being such a good girl, I promise I’ll make you scream as soon as we’re finished here.” 

Kinktober masterlist here.

[jjfics]

Rosemary and Thyme - On The Run | 02

ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader 

summary: The Reader has killed someone and now the Hargreeves and her have to hide. So they look for shelter in the only place they know would welcome them: The Reader’s former employer. 

series: read part 1 here

author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics 

words: 3250 

warnings: mentions of death, murder, blood and homelesness, feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks, angst, guns, allusion to smut (does not happen though, i’ve cut it right before), smoking 

a/n: i definitely did not expect it to be seen. i know 100 notes is not a lot, but i think i did pretty well for my second imagine out there, huh. thanks guys, for reading. i hope this one is just as great (or who knows, maybe better?). let me know if anyone would like a part 3. -jj

tags: @nimusicaltrash​ :3

Vanya and Allison were asleep in the backseat. Klaus, cramped between them, waved around a magazine he picked up from the last gas station you stopped at. Luther and Diego were discussing plans in the back, on the second row of seats. 

Five took the passenger seat, he was very tired from all the driving. He refused to make any stops at all until it was absolutely necessary. The dark circles around his eyes begged him to sleep, but he couldn’t. All he could feel was stress and desperation. I have to get my family to safety, he would think. 

Your now clean hands were clenched around the wheel of the car. The city was getting closer every moment and you unconsciously pressed harder on the gas pedal.

“Hey, hey! Careful there, I can’t read well when you go that fast” Klaus whined and you sighed. Right.

You saw Five look at his watch as he started bumping his right foot anxiously. Just a couple of metres away stood the “Welcome to Dallas” board.

“On time?” you ask, trying not to panic.

“Exactly on time” he reassures you with a nod. “Are you ready?” Ready? You were terrified.

“You’ll be okay. I’ll come inside with you, just in case.”

“What do you think old John can do to harm me?” 

John was your boss in the 60s. Your salvation. He was mesmerized by your voice that day at the bakery, and he kept asking people around until he found you. It was your second night sleeping under the open sky, and little did you know it was all going to change. He made you a star. One makeover later and a lot of clothing stores you basically swapped lives with Allison. He let you live in the apartment above the club. 

And he was probably also six feet under right now. 

“Oh I wouldn’t be worried about him.” Five replies sarcastically. “Maybe he has a son. Whoever is in charge of the place, might be an issue for us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just… What if he won’t cooperate? What if he won’t understand, or worse, give us to the police…” after he said that, he looked zoned out for a moment, as if he was going through all the possible ways your plan could fail. 

If the police found you, you would be going straight to jail. There was no doubt that the Hargreeves could pay for your bail. So no worries with the police, really. But you were never going to be a free woman. The Commission would search for you, and if you killed one of them again, they would send new men after you until they made sure you were gone for good. As gone as the one you saw bleed to death. 

You put your hand on his knee as you turned left onto the main street. If the club was still standing it should be just around the corner. 

His attention switched back to you and he scoffed quietly. “Look at us. Just a couple of hours ago you were the one having a panic attack and now it’s my turn.”

A small smile appeared on your face. “We’re a team, remember?” And he mirrored the expression just before you parked the car. 

“Alright everybody, listen up!” he shouts so that everyone would turn and look at him. The sisters woke up too. They were all on the same train now. “Me and y/n are going to walk inside this club and arrange something so we’ll sleep safely for tonight. Vanya is going to wait in the car, ready to drive away and help us escape. Diego and Luther will wait outside. Got it?” Diego raised an eyebrow but Five continued “Just in case anything happens. You never know.” 

“I’ll wait with them, I need to breathe some fresh air” Allison said as she stretched her arms as far as she could in the small van. 

“Alright then” Five said, looking at the main entrance of the club through the passenger window. “Let’s get to this y/n” he gave you a small smile. 

You searched for his hand and squeezed it gently. 

The doors of the car closed behind you two as you got out of the car. Diego, Luther and Allison were pretending they were just locals talking about what not, getting closer to the big glass doors. When they stopped walking Diego turned a bit to the left and started laughing. This was it, your sign to go. 

“Hey, be safe, okay? Leave as soon as anything gets out of hand. We can find some other place to stay at.” Vanya told you when you were ready to get out of the car. Your best friend was worried about you, of course. She is always a bit anxious. But you had no other choice.

On the way here you were mentioned 8 times on the radio. You and the Hargreeves. Wanted criminals. This was your only chance to find shelter. If this didn’t work, you couldn’t really find some other place. You would pretty much have to sleep in the car or on the streets. No, impossible, you couldn’t go through that again. 

“We’ll be fine Vivi.” She chuckles sadly at the nickname you gave her in the early stages of your friendship. 

“Klaus, hand me that magazine! It’s my turn” Vanya said while tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.  

“Ah, fine.” he whined. “Turn on the radio.”

Hand in hand with Five you made your way to the front hall of the club, heading towards the bar, which was on a platform just above the empty dance floor. You took your sunglasses off as you sat on one of those black stools at the bar. Same leather like 50 years ago. It felt surreal to be here again, with Five sitting next to you. 

“What are you doing so early? And with a kid? There ain’t no party yet ms.” you couldn’t help but smile as you recognized the southern drawl. You pushed your foot on the floor and rotated the chair. There she was, with her hair pinned up the same way as always, wearing short heels that matched her dark lipstick. It had been so long since you had seen her. 

Amy Stephens, your boss John’s little sister. She should be 74 by now, and even though she was just 17 when you started working at the club, you still knew who she was. Amy was the only friend you had during those months when you were alone. You showed her how to do her make up, you went shopping together when you needed new stage outfits, you taught her how to fight, something John would’ve scolded you for if he found out.

“Hello.” you said looking kindly at your old friend. “I’m not here for any party. I’m just looking for someone.”

“Oh well, let’s see if I can be of any help to ya. What you got?” 

“Do you happen to know a Stephens?” Five asked her. 

“Stephens? Yeah, yeah, that’s me kid. With what business are you coming here?” she questioned resting her arm on her hip. 

“Are you in charge of the place?” you said putting your glasses in the pocket of your jacket.

“Sure am. Can I help you?” 

“Yeah… we… uh… a friend told us you used to give the apartment for rent? Is that… still available?” You didn’t quite know how to carry the conversation without blowing your cover. 

“Ah, yes. It’s been a long time since anyone slept in there. You knew the famous y/n Hargreeves used to live here?” Five suppressed a smile, winking at you, but the woman didn’t notice. “Do you kids even know her? You look young. Anyways, popular singer back in 62. Or was it 63?” she muttered.

“Big fans” Five told her.

Your name wasn’t Hargreeves, of course, but you had no certificate when your boss found you. So you did everything you could to associate yourself with Five and his siblings in hope you might find them.

“Would you be interested in staying here?”

“Yes, that’d be really nice” Five said eagerly.

“Follow me, I’ll show you around.” 

The door to your old apartment opened and little dust particles could be seen floating in the morning light. Amy pushed the wooden door with her shoulder and walked inside. 

“My God, we haven’t been in here since Ms Hargreeves moved out. Seems like she really was our last tenant” she whispered, but you heard her well. “But don’t worry children, the place is clean. There’s two bedrooms and a bathroom, a small kitchen and a balcony. Come come”. You knew that grin, it meant the apartment has probably been rotting ever since you left.

She led you to the bedroom that wasn’t used when you lived here. “See, two rooms, perfect for you and the kid, huh” She tried to convince you. Five chuckled and put his arm around your waist when she turned around to walk to the main bedroom.

“And this… this is the second one. There’s still a luggage full of her stuff under the bed but I can get rid of that for ya.” she slapped her hand on the mattress and more dust came out of it. “So what you thinkin’? You like it here?”

“Oh that's not a problem girl, bring them in. As long as you don’t make too much noise after 11 pm, we’re all good.”

You shared a look with Five to tell him This is the best we could do. He nodded and you both turned to look at Amy who was now staring uncomfortably at the two of you. Yeah, you would have to hide your relationship around her. He moved his hand casually and then you spoke again. “Yes, this is quite what we were looking for. But it’s not just us. We’ll be 7, including me, my boyfriend and his 5 siblings.” 

“Isn’t there noise from the party downstairs anyways at that hour?” Five asked her. The expression on Amy’s face changed as she looked down. 

“The party huh… you’re not from here are ya? Well, I was just joking earlier, kid. When y/n Hargreeves left the club, the people got angry. She was the main reason why people still came. Most stopped coming after some time, it simply wasn’t smart to keep the club partying. Now it’s nothing more than a property.” 

They… went bankrupt, because you stopped showing up? You knew people loved you, but John never told you you were the one holding up their business. A tear rolled down your cheek. All that fame, all the posters. You had bleached your hair when you returned to 2019 and you wore sunglasses everywhere. No one could know who you were. Some get their 30 seconds of fame, you got your year. One year could mean your whole life sometimes. 

You were laying on Elliot’s couch with the phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you were trying to take off your coat. Five reached to help you mouhting I got it. He took your coat to the hanger and then disappeared into the kitchen. 

“Hello, this is John Stephens speaking.” 

“Hi, John. It’s just me, y/n. I- uh, I’m calling from a friend's house. I think I’m going to spend the night. Just thought it’ll be fine for you to know in advance.” 

“y/n, yes. So, what you’re saying is... that you won’t be here in time for tonight’s show?” he said anxiously. You didn’t know this at the time, but he was worried about losing profit.

“No no, I just- I would really want to hang out with my friend and it’ll be just for tonight.”

Gosh, you were reasoning with him as if he were your dad.

“Oh,come on, Hargreeves. Not even one song?”

You laughed at how disparate he was. “Sorry. Not even one. I’ll be gone til morning. But I’m sure no one will miss me that much. Besides, you can always ask Amy to sing. She’s been getting better. For real, John. That girl has potential.”

“There ain’t no well in hell I’m letting my sister get up in front of all these drunks to sing. She’s just 17, woman!” 

You couldn’t stop laughing now. “Goodnight, John. I’ll- Well I’ll see you on Monday if we don’t run into each other.”

“Have a nice evening, y/n” 

You hung up the phone and rose from the couch. When entering the kitchen you saw Five pouring coffee in two big mugs. You went and hugged him from behind, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. You could feel him smiling as you kissed him again. He took the mugs and turned around to face you leaning on the counter.

“Did you miss me?” he asked innocently, making you giggle. 

You leaned in and kissed him. You could still taste the coffee on his lips. He kissed you back and you felt him smirk as you laced your hands behind his neck. 

“Did I miss you?” you asked him back rhetorically. And you could see how eager he was to meet your lips again. You gave him a quick peck on the lips, and one on his shoulder, and then you hugged him tightly. “I did. A lot.” 

“I know what it’s like to be alone. I promise you, we won’t have to go through that again. I’ll try everything I can do to be together forever.” 

“Forever?” you asked.

“Assuming you won’t kick me out, of course.” You smacked his arm.

“Idiot.” you said between laughs. “Give me one of those mugs.” 

He hands you your coffee and you take a sip. “Black?”

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said.  

You both sat back on the couch and went over anything and everything. How you got famous. Where the others were. How he just arrived. What he saw. How long everyone had been here. 

“How long do we have?” you asked, searching for his eyes. 

He leaned back on the couch. “A lot more than last time. Enough time to find out what causes it, and more importantly, how to stop it.” 

You smiled at his words. After all this time, you were finally reunited, and no one was rushing you now. You had nothing to lose anymore, except time. Your hands unconsciously inched towards his thigh and you traced small hearts on his leg. “That means we can breathe safely for a while, right?”

Five brought you closer to him, straddling him now. He brushed your hair behind your ear so you could see him better. Your fingers explored his face carefully. The bump of his nose, his cheeks, his dimples as he grinned at you. Gosh, how you had missed his dimples. You missed everything about him. 

“We have almost one full year,” he said. 

“Then we better make the best of it, right?” you said as your lips brushed against his. 

He laid his head on the fluffy cushions and you followed, not breaking eye contact. His blue eyes scanned yours and your soul ran wild. You towered over him and pressed your forehead on his. Suddenly, the sound of the cars outside stopped and it all went silent. In this moment, there was only you and him. And this moment would exist forever.

You had to make up for all the time you were apart. You kissed him passionately, closing your eyes. His hands flowed along your curves and rested on your hips, pressing you hard on his chest. The kiss tasted like his favourite kind of coffee. Every movement of yours was matched instantly by him. He didn’t need words to know. Neither did you. 

Five pulled away for a second, looking at you lovingly, desire clear in his eyes. He took your left hand in his and shifted you so that you were laid on your back. He sat on his elbows just above your head. Your hands hugged his shoulders, getting him to slowly bend down. You could feel your eyes fill with tears as you watched him watch you. A flash of worry appeared on his face, but just for a moment. 

Five wiped your cheeks with the back of his palm, and kissed your cheeks. You kissed his hand and he kissed yours back, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin. His kisses started to travel upwards, to your elbow, then shoulder, then neck, then down again. You closed your eyes as his kisses passed your collarbone. He tugged softly on your shirt. 

“May I?” he hummed with a boyish smirk you hadn’t seen in a long while. You nodded, brushing his hair back.

“Yes, please.” you flushed.

He started unbuttoning your shirt, enjoying every second of it. With every button, he would press one more kiss. With every breath, you would inhale his sweet scent, praying to never forget it.

The morning was cold. Diego and Lila were asleep in the bedroom, Elliot on an armchair. Oh, the poor man couldn't even sleep in his own bed. Five was on the couch, next you. You pushed the blanket closer to him and got up after pecking his forehead. 

“Goodmorning, y/n.” he whispered, not even bothering to open his eyes. 

“Morning, Five.” 

“Where are you going?” he whined.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be right back”

You searched for your shirt and pants only to find them underneath your pillow. Getting dressed up in a hurry, you covered your shoulders with what seemed to be another blanket… or a really long scarf. Either way, it was warm enough. You reached for a cigarette in your pocket and made your way outside. 

You sat on the cold stairs that led up to the entrance of the building and watched the people pass the alley. 

“Look at them, rushing to get to their shitty jobs in time, to get their kids to school, rushing, rushing, rushing.” you scoffed under your breath.

“Good thing we don’t have to rush anywhere, right?” a voice startled you. You turned your head to the door to see Five already dressed nicely with a mug of, probably, coffee again. How convenient it could be for him sometimes to jump through space. Always a step ahead of you.

“That's not healthy.” he pointed at your cigarette. 

“That’s not either” you said gesturing to his drink and he chuckled, amused.

“Yeah, well, at least I won’t get sick” he sat down, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“We can’t have that happen. Even a cold can be deadly for an old man like you.” You bumped your cigarette on the side of his mug smiling. “Cheers” 

Making your way back to the car you saw everyone was outside. 

“Vanya why are you not in the car?” Five asked immediately.

“It just took too long and I was worried.”

“Is it so hard to just stick to the rules? Is it? All you had to do was sit there.” he sighed.

Everyone looked worried, so you smiled softly. “We got the key guys, it’s all good. Let’s go upstairs, I’m tired.”

“Thank, God.” Allison said so relaxed, unaware of the gun pointing at her from behind a tree nearby. She walked to the club’s doors. “Let’s go.”

[maybe-your-left]

Along the Highway

okay so set the scene... Clyde has a garage where he’s a mechanic.... and he bends ya over to see what’s under the hood n’ gives a the good ol’ southern oil change a yer life darlin’... 😉 you’re welcome for this... saddle up!

Thank you for the request @finn-ray-nal-beads​... I truly hope I delivered. but I don’t think you’ll be disappointed darlin’ 

-----

“Mother fucker,” you cried out when your car stalled on the highway. You were halfway towards your destination. Stuck in an old hick town in Boone County. You had no service and the closest gas station according to the signs was 10 miles down. You pulled off to the shoulder, letting the nonexistent traffic ‘whiz’ past you. 

You climbed out with your purse and phone clutched in your hand, slamming the door shut. “What am I gonna do now?” you whispered. No one had passed you for miles, you weren’t even sure that you could use your emergency AAA button in the car since there was no service. 

Sighing you stared at the highway… there was nothing to do but move forward. You made sure your car was in the park and all your valuables were stowed away in your purse or your trunk and you began your trek. Maybe when you made it to the town there would be cell service and someone could point you in the direction of a mechanic. 

After about 30 minutes you were exhausted, the West Virginia heat beating down on your back. Surely you were getting baked alive, since you decided to wear a summer sundress and sandals. Not prime walking outfit choices… thank god you remembered to pack your water bottle or else you would’ve passed out. 

In the distance, you saw a Chevron, along with a tiny strip mall. There was even a little hair salon, maybe if the mechanic was working on the car you could swing in for a trim? It couldn’t hurt to kill some time. You burst inside the station, sweaty and breathing heavily. Approaching the counter you attempted to catch your breath, “Is-is-there a mechanic nearby?” you wheezed out. 

The attendant was a young man, maybe 18 barely, looking at you like you were a wild animal. He gulped and handed you a water bottle, “Uh, yes ma’am… just down the road. Logan Family Auto… are you alright?” 

He looked at you with big eyes, watching you chug the ice-cold water, “Yes, sorry. My car broke down on the highway…” 

“Ahh,” he exhaled, “Lemme call them and the owner will pick you up and the car.” 

“Thank you,” you made your way outside, taking a seat on the bench. You flicked off one of your shoes and began rubbing the sole. You were already unbelievably sore, probably wouldn’t hurt to get a foot rub when you made it to Virginia. The entrance door dinged, “Ma’am, Mr. Logan is on his way to pick you up.” 

“Thank you so much,” you sighed. 

A few minutes later a tow truck pulled into the gas station, parking in front of the doorway. Someone climbed out of the driver’s seat and walked around the front. You weren’t paying attention, instead trying to work the knots out of your foot.

In front of you two black boots came into view, followed by a clearing of the throat, “Are y’ needin’ a lift?” 

You looked up and instantly your throat went dry… the man in front of you wasn’t a man. Better qualified as a bear, he was huge. Had long black hair tucked under a green John Deer hat, navy coveralls and he had his arms to his side, almost afraid to approach you. His face was pale, but had a few spots of grease on his cheeks, leading into his scruffy facial hair. 

“Yes,” you moaned out.

“Okay, where to?” 

In your fantasy he would’ve asked you to climb him like a tree but instead he was staring at you with pleading eyes. 

You shook your head, “Sorry, uh-yeah my car broke down on the highway… had to walk all the way here.” 

“Mmm,” he nodded. Turning around he opened the passenger door, “Come on in, I’ve got AC. We’ll get ya cooled off.” 

Standing up you stretched out, desperate to cool off inside the truck. You also could use a massage, your feet and legs were aching from the overuse. Sliding in, tucking your purse at your feet. You smoothed down your dress and waited for him to climb in. 

The mechanic hopped in, and started blasting the AC. instantly cooling your skin, you sighed, “That feels so much better.” 

“M sure it does,” he laughed, “My name's Clyde by the way.” 

“Nice to meet you Clyde, I’m (Y/N).” 

Clyde gave you a small smile, “That’s a very pretty name.” 

You blushed, looking away so he wouldn’t see how flustered you were. 

The drive was long, you could barely believe that you walked this. Just imagining it again was making you sweat. You leaned onto the dashboard, desperate for some relief. Deciding to angle the vents towards your legs, you didn’t even notice the Marylin Monroe moment you were having until Clyde cleared his throat. 

“Y’ doin’ okay over there?” 

“What,” you opened your eyes and looked at him. Mistakenly shifting to wear your dress was blown up over your hips. Fully showcasing your bare thighs and sheer panties. “Shit I’m sorry!” 

You rushed to cover yourself, embarrassed of the exposure. “It’s s’okay darlin’ I’m sure you want to relax after the day y’ve had.” 

Glancing back over you noticed Clyde's eyes dart back to the road… no way, you had caught him staring at your legs. He probably got an eyeful earlier, and now he was blushing bright red. Hands gripping the steering wheel tight. You scooted over towards him, deciding to shoot your shot. Grabbing the hem of your dress you slid it back up, revealing yourself again. “Do you want to help me relax Clyde?” 

He looked over at you, eyes practically bulging out of his head. Clearing his throat he placed a hand on your bare knee, “I thought you’d never ask.” 

Tightening his grip on your knee he yanked you over the seat. Pinning your left leg up towards your chest, showcasing the wet spot in your panties. Clyde's eyes darted from your center to the road, trying to not send you both off the highway. 

Bringing his hand to your core, he lightly rubbed his knuckles on the fabric. Groaning as he felt your slick through it, how it was coating your lips. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh, “Please Clyde,” 

“Y’ sure?” 

“Please or I’ll have to do it myself,” you smirked at him. 

Clyde laughs again, pulling your panties to the side and plunging two fingers in. “Fuck,” you squealed. You weren’t ready for two fingers, and they were already fucking you in and out. Dragging against your walls, soaking up in your wetness. His fingers were so long, and fat, better than any cock you had before. Giving you a few more pumps, Clyde moved his hand out, positioning his palm face up. 

“Darlin’ y’ve soaked through these,” he mumbled, eyes darting back and forth from the road and his fingers. Bringing them back to your weeping hole he shoved them in, squelching out more slick onto the seats. His fingers were curling up against your front wall, quick ‘come hither’ motions on your g-spot. 

“Clyde,” you moaned, “That feels so good… can I rub my clit? Please!” 

“Rub it baby, cum all over my fingers.” 

Your hand darted out, furiously rubbing your swollen nub. Clenching around Clyde's fingers as they continued to assault your cunt. You squeezed your eyes shut, succumbing to the blissful fullness his fingers gave you. 

You came with a shout, begging him to keep going. Gushing down his wrist while he slowly pulled off the road. Your chest was heaving, trying to center yourself, overstimulation creeping in from Clydes fingers still stuffed in your cunt. 

“Better?” Clyde asked, pulling his fingers out slowly, “Look at the mess y’ made.” Holding up his slickened hand, admiring the shine coating his middle and ring finger. You laughed as you caught your breath, watching as he brought his fingers up to his mouth. Slipping them inside, his eyes closed as he moaned at your taste coating his tongue. 

“Get outta the truck,” he commanded. Putting it into park, and yanking the keys out. Clyde slammed the door, you just sat there dumbfounded, you were not at your car yet? Why is he pulling over… 

Suddenly your door swung open behind you and Clyde yanked you out, pulling you to the front of the truck. “I thought I asked y’ to get out?” You gave him a devilish smile, leaning against the hood, pressing your tits up to the sky. “I don't know what you’re talking about…” 

Clyde swooped in, pinning you down, lips crashing into yours. Moaning into each other’s mouths, your hands went up to his neck, sliding into his luscious hair. Clyde began to grind against you, pushing your dress back up your hips. He was already so hot and bothered from fingering your, all you wanted was for him to bury his cock inside you. 

Breaking away you looked at him, silently telling him with your begging eyes what you wanted. “Are y’ gonna listen to me now or are you gonna be a troublemaker?” 

You grinned, leaning in and placing a kiss on his Adam's apple, “whatever you want Daddy.” 

He growled and flipped you around, pressing your chest onto the warm hood. His left forearm across your back to keep you from squirming around, and his right pulling up your skirt. “Gotta check an see if every thin’s all good and ready for me.” 

Pressing your ass into his jeans, desperate to feel how wet you were. He thrust forward, repinning your hips. His fingers gripped into your panties and yanked them down. “Please Clyde,” you moaned. The delicious friction making you keen for him even more. 

Clyde quickly disrobed enough to fish his cock out, rubbing it up and down your eager slit. The tip

of him catching just enough to give you a small

stretch, “Y’ think you can take me?” 

“Anything,” you bucked back, “Just fuck me.” 

He shoved inside, completely splitting you on his hard cock. Bottoming out and knocking the wind from your lungs. Both of you cried out at the tension inside you, your walls already clenching from the intrusion. Clyde pulled back, taking himself out and rubbing again before plunging back in. 

“Fuck, y’er choking my cock darlin’,” He moaned, beginning to thrust in and out at a rapid pace, “M not gonna last with y’ doin’ that.” 

You clenched around him again, his words egging you closer towards your release, “Daddy, I wanna cum on you again, please can I?” 

“Yeah baby,” he grunted, “Cum with me.” 

You both cried out, Clyde’s cock knocking into your cervix over and over. Each time shooting a mix of pain and pleasure to your walls, you were clenching all around his length. Desperate to milk all the cum he could give you. 

A few more thrusts and he stilled, forehead coming to rest on your shoulder and his ick twitched inside you. Spitting out rope after rope of his hot sticky cum into your tired pussy. Clyde pulled out, allowing you to sit up again as he steadied himself on the side of the road. You collapsed into him, your legs threatening to give out at any moment. His cum already leaking down your legs to pool inside your pulled down panties. Laughing you hoisted them up, to try and collect the rest of his spend inside you. 

Beside you Clyde was panting, the heat and the power of his thrusting had completely wiped him out. He looked over and you and grinned, “That was,” he leaned against you, “That was great darlin’.” 

You laughed again, “It sure was. Thanks, it really helped me relax.” 

He smiled back at you, “No problem… I guess we better go get yer car now.” 

[iamyoursinblog]

The window

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Word Count: 3,1 k

LIST

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You moved to a new house, but due to the workload, you could only get home after a few days. It was already night outside. You walked into a spacious bedroom on the second floor and smiled broadly when you saw the window you fell in love with at first sight. Perhaps this was the main reason why you chose this house, even though it was too large for one person. The window was from ceiling to floor, replacing one wall. You could watch the stars while lying on your bed. You took off your jacket and threw it over the back of the armchair, remaining in your trousers and shirt. You came close to the window looking at the sky, the smile never left your face, the view was incredible. You raised your arms up stretching your body. Your gaze went down and you met a pair of eyes looking at you with curiosity. It was a guy. A very handsome guy. He was standing on the first floor near a window as big as yours. While you were looking at him, he turned his gaze to the sky. He probably also looked at the sky until you came to the window. You should have looked away, but you didn't want to. The handsome guy was wearing pants and a shirt, and his jacket was lying on the floor next to him. You smiled when you realized that your clothes were the same color and style. It was wrong to stare like that at a person you don't even know when he was in his room. But his handsome face made it impossible to look away. You met his gaze again when he looked at you. He smiled and goosebumps ran down your skin. He nodded his head ‘goodbye’ to you and disappeared into the darkness of the room. For a few more seconds, you continued to stare into an empty dark room before moving your gaze to the sky. “I wonder who he is,” you whispered to yourself. It seems that you just saw another big plus of this house. You smiled and went to the shower, and after then fell asleep.

A few days later, you met your neighbor again as you sat on an armchair near an open window. He smiled and waved at you before you had time to think, you already waved at him with a broad smile. For a second, his gaze fell on you, and you realized that you were dressed alike again, light jeans and a light blue T-shirt. After finishing his coffee, he got up from the floor and left the room. A few minutes later, you heard the noise of the engine, and you realized that it had left. For a second, you wondered if your next outfit would match.

You had to leave for a few days, but you were surprised how much you wanted to return home. You were never tied to home, and frequent trips only made you happy. But now the person you don't even know makes you feel homesick. No matter how hard you resist, you missed him ... When you returned home late at night, you were surprised to see a large box next to your gate. You didn't order anything, then what is this box ... After you parked your car in the garage, you went outside and picked up the box before heading into the house. You went into the kitchen and put it on the big table. You looked at the box, and there was not a single inscription on it. You opened the box and your eyes widened. On top of the white wrapping paper was a note, written in beautiful handwriting.

‘Congratulations on the move. Hope it would look pretty with your armchair. Your neighbour, Jinyoung'

You read the note over and over again, still not believing in its reality. A wide smile appeared on your face. "So his name is Jinyoung." You opened the paper and laughed when you found a soft blanket inside, the same color as your chair. Having risen to your room, you covered your chair with a blanket, thanks to this it began to seem even more cozy and more comfortable than before. Turning to the window, you looked into Jinyoung's dark empty room. You clapped your hands when you remembered that your living room rug has been in your trunk for ages, but it didn't fit your interior. After looking at the empty floor and light interior of Jinyoung's room, you decided it would be the perfect gift for his room. You quickly ran downstairs and, finding a piece of paper, wrote

‘Thank you Jinyoung. Hope this makes a great addition to your room. Your neighbour, ______! ’

Going down to the garage, you took the packed rug, put the note inside, and went outside. You were glad it was night and the street in your neighbourhood was completely empty. You felt like a spy sneaking into someone else's house. Leaving your gift carefully at the entrance, you quickly ran home. Your heart was pounding as fast as after a marathon. You looked at your red face in the mirror until a wave of laughter covered you with "God, I'm acting like a teenager."

You had to leave early in the morning, so you couldn't see Jinyoung. You tried to get home as quickly as possible so that you ‘accidentally’ meet him. And luck was on your side, you managed to return home while it was still daylight. You took a quick shower before fixing your hair and makeup. You walked into the dressing room and picked out a mid-thigh swing dress. You went up to the room on the second floor and went to the window. Your face lit up when you saw on the floor the rug you gifted, next to which there was a cup. You were happy that he liked your gift. You sat down in a chair and took a book, tried to read it. It was hard to concentrate, you read the same line several times. You saw movement in the room, and completely turned your attention to the book, pretending to be immersed in reading, and not spying on your neighbor. You could feel his gaze on you, but you kept looking at one point in the book. You really wanted to see Jinyoung's face, but that would be too obvious. After a while, you raised your head and your heart quickened its pace when a wide smile met you. You waved to him, and pointing to the blanket raised your thumb up, showing what you like it. To which he stroked the rug on which he was sitting and repeated your movement. You laughed. Today he wore a loose shirt and dark pants. He got up and opened the door and went out into the street, you also got up and went out onto the terrace.

“You seem to be copying my clothes,” he said, pointing to the color of his shirt, which was the same as your dress.

"I just wanted to tell you this, that you are copying me"

“I came home earlier”

“But I saw you after I sat and read.”

He laughed and goosebumps covered your skin "Do you always read one page for almost 10 minutes?"

Oops .. I think he noticed it ... "I just could not concentrate, as I felt that someone was staring at me."

"Then why didn't you look at me right away, but only after 10 minutes?"

“I didn’t want to stare, it’s not decent,” having said that, you immediately regretted, because now it seemed that you weren’t glad that he was looking at you. Although, in general, you are the person who always stares out of his window.

"Okay, I will consider." For a second, his tone became serious and cold enveloped you. “If you stop repeating outfits after me, I'll stop staring at you,” he smiled broadly, and the worry receded.

"And if I repeat your outfits the next day, will it count?"

“I think I can come to terms with it. Although I do not think that you will be able to repeat them. I have to go, see you next time." He waved at you and walked back into the house.

Your body trembled with excitement, you were wondering what exactly he started the game, but you wanted to play it with pleasure, even without knowing the rules.

The next day, you returned home in the evening, and after rising to the meeting place with Jinyoung, you practically fell to the floor laughing when you saw him sitting on the floor, in front of an open door, in an animal pajama and drinking wine. You walked out onto the terrace, still laughing.

“Wow. I'm impressed with your choice, but don't think that I can't match such an amazing outfit. "

“We'll see tomorrow” he raised his glass in your direction and then drank it to the bottom. “Then I'll see you tomorrow night” he smiled and got up from the floor and left. This is going to be fun ... you walked back into the room wondering how many stores you would have to walk around to find a same pajamas.

Every day it became more fun to return home, his imagination knew no bounds. You seemed to be at the cosplay festival. You laughed together every night, enjoying each other's company. Even though everyone was in their own house, it seemed like there was nothing between you. After a few weeks of your game, you stood on the terrace in your superman costume and waited for Jinyoung with his next assignment. You were surprised when he walked into the room in an unbuttoned shirt and jeans. He sat down on the floor watching you through the closed window. His gaze was playful, challenging you. You grinned and shook your head to accept his challenge. The next evening, you stood in front of the mirror and looked at yourself. You didn't have the courage to be just in a shirt on your naked body, so you put on a short sports top under the shirt. You went to the window waiting for Jinyoung.

Minutes seemed like an eternity. A dim light will fill his room. He walked in in the same shirt and jeans as yesterday, but today his shirt was buttoned up. In his hand was a glass of wine, and putting it on the floor, he looked at you, evaluating your outfit. His gaze was considered a mockery, because you did not completely repeat his outfit. He reached for his shirt and took the edge shirt out from his jeans, and slowly began to unbutton it. His gaze was heavy, followed by confidence in his every move. He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off and threw it on the floor. Your gaze wandered over his naked torso. Your mouth was dry with the urge to run fingers over his abs, wanting to feel how his muscles would strain from your touch. His gaze was fixed on you, and every movement was like a dangerous jaguar preparing to jump. The excitement went through your body. Now this game has become dangerous. You waited with apprehension and lust for tomorrow evening.

All day your mind has been busy with Jinyoung. You seemed to be looking at your watch every 5 seconds, hoping that your evening meeting would finally end. When you got home you put on yesterday's shirt and jeans, but this time you were wearing a transparent lace bra, not a sports top. You rose to the second floor and froze near the window. Leaning his hand on the glass, Jinyoung stood only in boxers. "Oh gosh ..." Your breath caught at the sight of his sexy body. Your fingers were shaking so much with excitement that it took you a long time to unbutton the buttons on your shirt. Taking a deep breath, you calmed down, you wanted it. You wanted him. Having calmed down, you began to tease him unbuttoning every button. You could see that he definitely liked what he sees in the window, and the protruding dick of his boxers was proof of that. You threw aside the shirt, remaining only in a thin transparent fabric ... You played with the straps, making him languish with desire. You turned back to him, you got rid of the bra, sending it in a pile to the shirt. You looked back at him, sending a lustful look before you left. You knew that tomorrow you should only be in your underwear, and you were wondering what would happen next ...

The next evening, when it was completely dark, you turned on the dim light in the room. You looked down at your body, you chose the sexiest lingerie you had. "Is he really going to be naked" this thought did not leave you all last night and today. You were looking out the dark window. But where is Jinyoung? On the first floor the bell rang, looking at the clock you were confused, you were not expecting anyone. Going downstairs, you froze when you saw Jinyoung on the screen. You opened the front door, and a few minutes later he entered the house.

"Hello"

"Hello"

Your head was spinning and it seemed all thoughts left your head. Only after a moment did you realise that you were standing in your underwear. Even though you chose it for him, now that he was in the same room with you, you felt awkward.

He took a step in your direction, and you wanted to retreat, but the legs did not listen to you. He continued to approach while you persuaded your body to move even a millimetre.

“I decided that it would be nice to be with you tonight” he came up to you and ran his hand over your arm. “Unless of course you mind it” he looked down at you “I like what you chose for me” his smile made you forget how to breathe.

“I thought you don’t know which next outfit to choose, so you didn’t show up in the window.” You tried not to show your nervousness, replacing it with sarcasm. He reached for his T-shirt and after a second it fell to the floor.

He began to unbutton his jeans "Oh, _________, believe me, I know exactly how I want to be in today."

He raised his hand and pulled you to his body, kissed. Everything inside was screaming with a mixture of excitement and intense desire. The kiss began quite gently, but quickly changed to passionate. His hands gripped your body as his mouth and tongue caressed you. Your head was spinning, it seemed a little bit more and you would faint.

Because of this, you did not even understand how exactly you ended up on the second floor. Your consciousness came back when he pushed you onto your bed. He take off the remnants of his clothes and you groaned as his hard cock twitched with excitement. It was so sexy, you reached out, wrapping your fingers around his dick. His groans filled the room as you continued to tease him. He grabbed your wrists, chaining you to the bed. “I think you've been teasing me for a long time. Now it's my turn"

"Why do you think you didn't make me want you from the first meeting?" you moaned as his fingers covered your clit.

“We seem to have wasted too much time, playing in 'kindly neighbours'.” he got rid of your underwear before he covered your nipple with his mouth. You arched your back wanting more pleasure. His fingers teased your clit and pussy, slowly fucking you. Your moans turned to whimpers wanting more.

“I want you, Jinyoung! Please, Jinyoung, I need you ”

“________, you moan my name so sweetly. I want to listen to this as long as possible.” He pushed two fingers hard at you, and a groan with his name flew from your lips. He continued to give rough thrusts, forcing you to plead. Finally, your pleas were heard and, having moved, he ran his dick head over your pussy. Your hips moved to meet him wanting more. You screamed when, with a sharp jolt, he entered you completely. He pressed you to the bed, not giving you the opportunity to refuse what he gives you. It was too much, he was big and stretched you, mixing pleasure and pain into one whole. He thrusted several more deep, hard thrusts before his speed increased. Blood rushed at your veins, spreading pleasure throughout the body. His groans echoed deep into you. Your body has turned into a bundle of huge nerves, which is about to explode. It seemed like something unreal, as if you were in one of your dreams, your eyes closed, and you felt the heat fill your body. You were afraid to open your eyes, suddenly everything will disappear. You hugged him tightly, your fingers dug into his skin as he continued to kiss your face, your neck and your shoulders ...

His thrusts were hard and fast. "Fuck ... Damn ... this is so good... I'm gonna cum." His words, exploded you into a violent orgasm and after a moment his screams filled the rooms as his own orgasm swept over him. His movements were erratic, prolonging your overall orgasm. Your body seemed to float above the bed. He continued to give light thrusts, you opened your eyes, his face was saturated with the pleasure he received from you. His eyes were tightly closed, and you ran your fingers over his face before leaving a light kiss. He finally opened his eyes to meet yours.

“I was so afraid that it would be just my dream.” He kissed you with such tenderness that your heart seemed to stop beating from an overabundance of feelings. The realization that your fear was one for two made a few drops of tears roll down your cheeks. “Are you okay?" he looked at you anxiously, wiping the wet traces of tears with his fingers.

“Yes, I feel great.” You smiled at him and hugged him tightly.

“I love your bedroom, you can see the stars even while lying on the bed”

“That was one of the main reasons why I stayed here,” you answered, resting your head on his chest and looking up at the sky.

“I am very glad that you liked this window and that you stayed here. What other reason? " he lifted your chin forcing you to look at him

“Incredibly handsome guy in the window opposite” you sent him a smile before he kissed you.

You looked at the window because of which you wanted to stay here and smiled. This house is perfect. As well as the guy in whose arms you are now lying.

___________________

LIST

[kpoptart216]

You’re my Utopia (pt 7)

A/n: Back to writing, hope you enjoy it!

As the day progressed, it will finally sinking in that you had a date. And not just any date, it was a date with Hoseok. Till that night at the studio, you had no inkling that maybe he returned your feelings, but your gut told you otherwise that night. 

That same night, you remember thinking about him before falling asleep, and you had vivid dreams about being in a relationship with him. Though you were scared about dating again, your dreams were only pleasant, almost as much as the boy you were crushing on. It was like a sign to just trust in him, your feelings, and what the universe had to offer. Maybe a relationship with him wouldn’t be doomed like you thought. 

The next day, you left work and rushed to your apartment. The previous night, you were too excited to pick out what to wear and now you panicked that you didn’t have enough time. He simply texted you earlier that he was going to pick you up at six which gave you exactly two hours. You quickly showered, made sure you were well groomed, and did your hair. You opted for simple makeup, and you just stood in your towel facing all your options for outfits for tonight. You opted for a simple black dress that you bought and never had the chance to wear. Nothing like a new outfit to give you a confidence boost.

You were just putting on the final touch of makeup when you heard a knock on the door. You almost ran to the door and you opened the door with a shy smile. Hoseok was looking down when the door opened and as he looked up, a big smile formed on his beautiful face. He was holding a small bouquet of colorful flowers, but you honestly couldn’t help but stare at him. You rarely saw him as dressed up as he was now, other than we had schedules. He was dressed in black pants and black dress shirt that hugged is figure, and if you didn’t know better you’d probably drool. 

“You look beautiful” he said, handing you the flowers. 

“come in?” you asked, as you took the flowers and made way for him to come in. He nodded, and you closed the door behind him, gulping as the nerves kicked in more. 

“Let me just get my purse and we can leave? where are we going by the way?” you asked, trying to ease your nerves. 

“Oh that’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it!” he calls out to you from the living room as you entered your closet to grab a purse to match your outfit. 

“Fine, I guess i’ll trust you. You look handsome too, by the way” you say, wanting to return the compliment. And you truly meant it, he was gorgeous. 

Hoseok simply blushed at the compliment. “ready?” he asked. You nodded, and the both of you made your way out. 

The surprise was that he had reserved a private room and table at one of the restaurants you had once told him about. It was a famous italian restaurant, but it was pretty fancy and always needed reservations weeks or months in advance. You never thought you’d have the chance to eat here, let alone in a private room, or with such a handsome man.��

“The food is so good, wow” you say, taking a bite of the food. Hoseok had ordered for the both of you, and he took pride in knowing your taste in food. he was glad he made the right choice. 

“Wait till you try dessert then!” he said, smiling. 

You both conversed over food, and though you were still slightly nervous, you both fell into a comfortable rhythm, talking and bantering as usual. Though, you didn’t miss the ways he flirted with you and perhaps it was the food, but you think you actually flirted back too. 

After the both of you finished, he reached for your hand. “Ready for part two of the date?” he asked. 

“Theres more?” you asked, surprised. This was already so nice, you couldn’t imagine what else he had planned. 

“You didn’t think I’d just take you to dinner did you? what kind of a date is that?” he had asked. Honestly, it was pretty much the only kind of ‘fancy’ date you knew of. That was all you ever had. It was either eating out or staying inside and hanging out. 

“I didn’t know what to expect from tonight” you said honestly. “But I’m enjoying every second of it”

He smiled, pulling you up and back out to the car. He drove the both of you to a seemingly remote road and if you were with anyone else, you might have been concerned about your safety. Soon, he pulled into a small patch of grass and urged you to step out. Once you got out of the car, you had a clear view of the city, the bridge, and the river that flowed beneath it. 

From where you were, the city seemed rather quiet but still very much alive and you had never seen anything quite like it. 

“we live there?” you ask, marveling at the beauty. 

“we sure do” he says, though the whole time he’s only been focused on your face and how your eyes glistened along with the lights from the city. 

“Such an amazing view” you said mostly to yourself. 

“sure is” he says, still looking at you and smiling. 

The view almost put you in a trance, but the only thing that broke it was Hoseok interlacing his fingers with your own as he held your hand. You loved how warm they were. You squeezed his hand a little, smiling at the view in front of you still. 

“How did you find this place?” you asked, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 

“I’m not really sure. I was just driving one night and stumbled upon this place. I come here when I need to clear my head, and hardly anyone ever comes down these roads, let alone stops. It’s just peaceful” he says. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me” you turn to face him finally, smiling. “It’s stunning” you say. 

“Does this mean you’ll want to come back with me?” he asks. 

You were kind of confused by the question. “what do you mean?” you ask. 

“I don’t show this place to just anyone you know. Come to think of it, you’re the first. I never felt the need to share this place with anyone, but you” he says turning to face the city for the first time, hoping the night sky masked the way he was furiously blushing. 

“That means a lot” you say. “And yes, I’ll come back whenever you want me to” you say, however you weren’t really sure what that implied. But if it meant you got to be there for him, then you’d do it in a heartbeat. 

“I really like you” he says suddenly, causing you to gasp a little. He chuckled at your reaction. “I have for a while, if it wasn’t obvious” he adds. 

“define ‘a while’“ you say. 

“I don’t know honestly. You were just special, since we met. I didn’t understand how I felt, especially since back then you were dating Jungkook. But then you guys broke up, and we became good friends and my feelings just grew since then. But I couldn’t wait much longer, I had to let you know” he says, honestly. He didn’t want to bring up Jungkook tonight, but he didn’t want to lie to you. 

“Hey, look at me” you say softly, urging him to turn your way. He looked a little nervous, that to which you smiled at him. You weren’t sure where you got the courage, but you simply say “You have to know that I feel the same right?” 

Hoseok’s eyes widened, and felt joy engulf his entire being. “I have for a while too. Maybe not as long as you, but definitely just as strong” You say, not wanting to lie either. You felt a breeze blow by and since you were near the water, it felt especially cold. Hoseok let go of your hand and quickly ran back to the car to grab a jacket and he ran back and placed it around your shoulders. 

“that better?” he asked, still smiling like a goof. 

“yes thank you so much, oppa. For everything, really” you say, reaching for his hands again, missing the warmth they provided. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, suddenly. He had been wanting to kiss you since the moment he laid eyes on you tonight but he felt the need to ask for permission first. You just smiled and nodded, and soon enough your lips met his own. 

It was a sweet kiss, and you felt your heart race. Likewise, Hoseok smiled into the kiss. It was just as great as he imagined it would be. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this a million times and yet none of those imaginations could surpass this feeling. 

Another breeze blew by, forcing Hoseok to break away from the kiss he so desperately wanted to keep going. “I should get you home before you get a cold” he says, resting his forehead against your own. He chuckles when he notices your frown, but he grabs your hand and leads you back to his car. 

You both talk on the way back to your car, still slightly nervous from the kiss, but having fun nonetheless. You feel as if you arrive back to your place too soon, though you’ve basically spent the entire evening with him. 

“Thank you for tonight, oppa” you say, unbuckling your seatbelt. 

“No, thank you. We can do this again soon, right?” he asked. 

“I’d like that” you say smiling. You weren’t really sure what to say beyond this point, and you figured you should probably get home and take your dog out for a walk before he pees in your apartment again. 

You quickly lean over, and kiss Hoseok on his cheek. “good night!” you say, reaching for the door. However, before you get the chance to open it, he pulls you back and kisses you. 

“good night, my favorite girl” he says, chuckling at the way you gasp again slightly. “go walk the dog, I know you’re concerned about him peeing inside again” he says, as if reading your thoughts. You giggle. “See you tomorrow” you say, finally stepping out the car. You walk back inside your building and turn to watch as he waves from inside the car and drives away. 

You practically squealed the second he was out of sight. That was perhaps one of the best dates you have been on period. He treated you so well throughout the night, and the kiss oh my god. 

Maybe it was because you hadn’t been kissed in years, but you swear this was different than any kiss you’d ever received before. To put it simply, it was nothing short of amazing. 

By the time you got in bed that night, your mind was flooded with thoughts of your date. You dozed off with a big smile on your face.

You woke up to one of your favorite texts the following morning. 

Hobi Oppa: Good Morning Beautiful. I can’t wait to see you at work. Hurry over. 

You smiled fondly at the text and quickly jumped out of bed to get ready. You were pretty sure he was already at work considering he had practice for upcoming award shows, so you didn’t waste any time getting ready. 

Would it be too obvious if you stopped by the practice room before heading to the studio? You still never talked to Jungkook about his request and you rather not have that conversation now... or anytime soon. You decided against it and quickly sent a message to Hoseok saying you were in the studio. 

Within a few minutes, he knocked at your studio door but unfortunately you had headphones in as you were editing something. You were bouncing your head to the beat, completely oblivious to him standing behind you and admiring you as he leaned against the door. 

After a minute or so, Hoseok simply walked to you and bent over to place a kiss on your cheek, scaring you. You jumped in your seat, and took the headphones off immediately. 

“Oppa! What if someone saw!!” you said, giggling, standing up to shut the door behind him. 

“I don’t care. I just wanted to come see you on break” he said, now leaning against your work table as you sat back down in your chair. “already working I see” he says, looking over to see what you were working on. “can I hear soon?” he asks. 

“When it’s done, as usual!” You say. It was a habit of yours to only let him listen to your finished product. You always wanted him to be proud of the work you had done. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, changing the subject. 

“I did actually”

“Darn, I was hoping to hear that you were too excited to fall asleep” he teased. 

“Why? Is that what happened with you?” you shot back. 

“You caught me there” he said, laughing. 

“I had a really great time last night, oppa” you say giggling. It just suddenly registered that he had kissed you a minute ago. And you didn’t even realize because it felt so natural. 

“You just realized I kissed you just now, didn’t you?” he asked, noting the expression on your face. 

“You know me so well” you say, giggling. 

“Was that out of line..? I wasn’t really thinking and I gue-” he began to ramble but you cut him off by quickly standing up and giving him a peck on the cheek as well. 

“It wasn’t out of line. I was just thinking how natural it felt” you say, blushing. 

“Good, because you can expect more of that from now on” he says confidently. “Anyways, before I head back to practice, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come to the award show at the end of the week!” he asks excitedly. 

You had been to a bunch of award shows in the past, watching the boys from backstage. It was always such a fun experience! 

“You don’t have to if you’re busy, but it would mean a lot if you’re there” he said, hopefully. 

“Of course, I’d love to” you say happily. Jungkook briefly crossed your mind, but you didn’t really care right now. Previously, Jungkook had asked you to come out to support him and his members, and you’d always wait backstage with your arms open to give him a big hug when it was done. It was one of your favorite memories from back then, but you found that you honestly hadn’t thought of that in years. 

Your mind now wandered to why Hoseok had asked you. As a friend? As a... girlfriend? You weren’t sure and you didn’t want to dwell on that either. You were going to go to show your support. 

Jungkook had a hard time that week. He constantly started thinking about you. Or rather, your relationship with his hyung. Wasn’t it an unsaid rule not to go after your friend’s ex? Would you even accept if Hoseok had asked you out? It was unfair of him to hope not, but he couldn’t help himself. It only made him wonder why he felt that way. 

He laid in bed, trying to work out why he was feeling the way he was when his door suddenly opened. In came Sooyoung, he hadn’t been expecting her. “Hey babe, I didn’t know you were coming today” Jungkook said, making room for her to sit. 

She stilled for a second and looked over to her boyfriend. “Do I need an invitation?” she asked before kicking off her shoes in a random direction. “I actually wanted to get your opinion on something for the award show”. It irked Jungkook slightly that she came over without any notice. You had never done that in the past, you were always respectful of his time and space. 

“What do you need?” Jungkook asks, laying back down. Sooyoung also laid down, right on Jungkook’s arms. Her strong scent invaded his nose. He always hated that perfume. It was so unnecessarily strong.

“We should color coordinate our outfits! I’m thinking of these two dresses” she said as she pointed to two different dresses on her phone screen. “they really complement my skin tone, don’t you think?” 

“Sooyoung, I don’t really determine my outfit, that’s what the stylist noona’s are for. I’m sure they already picked out my clothes to match the rest of the group” Jungkook sighed, not giving a damn about her dresses. 

“Oh come on, you’re the artist. Act like it. If you want to wear something specific, you get to wear it. I think I’m going to go with the teal dress. Find a shirt to match please!” she says, effectively ending that conversation. She really didn’t take no as an answer from anyone, even Jungkook. He sighs, as he listens to her complain about her team members. 

Jungkook thinks back to previous award shows, when he didn’t have a girlfriend in tow. At least, ones where she didn’t also walk the red carpet. He remembered bringing you to numerous award shows, but you were always behind stage with the rest of the staff. He always claimed he needed to feel your support, even if he couldn’t see you from the stage. And because of that need, you were there- for every award show and every concert alike. Only now was he starting to think how much time that would take out of your own schedule. 

Perhaps the best thing about bringing you to shows was probably when he was done though. You always waited backstage with arms open to give him a big hug, ready to tell him how proud of him you were. He remembered inhaling your scent some nights, or almost toppling the both of you down from exhaustion. But nonetheless, those hugs were the only way he ended those nights. The members used to joke that they felt left out, but he remembers one night where you swore those hugs were meant for Jungkook and Jungkook only. 

He smiled fondly at the memory while Sooyoung now talked about the latest diet she was on. 

The night of the award show came quicker than Jungkook had thought. The previous day, he had nicely asked the stylist noona if she could find a shirt in teal instead of the grey she had initially picked out. “It’s going to clash with everyone else though” she argued but he had pleaded with her, and ultimately they found middle ground in a shirt that had hints of teal. 

When Sooyoung and him met up before the red carpet, the boys were wary of her presence the second she knocked on their door. She walked in with the same teal dress she showed Jungkook earlier and it was clear from her facial expression she wasn’t pleased with his outfit at all. 

“What happened to the teal?” she asked quite angrily. “This is not what I meant, Jungkook!” she said, assessing his shirt. 

“This is all we could do in short notice” Jungkook grumbled. He could see Sooyoung glare at the stylist noona who was still touching up his outfit. 

Just then, another there was another knock on the door. Jungkook turned to see who it was, and he saw Hoseok rushing to the door. Whoever it was, was pretty much blocked from his view by Hoseok. 

Only when Hoseok moved to let the visitor in did he see who it was. There you stood, looking more gorgeous than ever. You wore an amazing black gown which really showed off your figure, but it was simple and not over the top. In fact, it really highlighted your natural beauty and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare. 

“You’re here!” Hoseok said, leading you to the couch. You hadn’t noticed Jungkook and Sooyoung yet, and the other members quickly came to greet you. 

“Why the fuck is she here” Sooyoung muttered under her breath, causing Jungkook to glare at her. 

“Y/n, pleasure as always!” Jin says, sitting across from her. “Hoseok told us you’d be joining us today!” 

What? Why didn’t Jungkook hear of this before?

Sooyoung scoffed, finally grabbing onto Jungkook and walking over to where you and the members sat. 

“It’s nice seeing you again” Sooyoung said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I didn’t know you’d be joining us. Though I don’t think you’re allowed to walk the carpet...” Sooyoung mused. 

“Oh, I wasn’t planning on it” you chirped. No way were you going to walk down a carpet full of flashing cameras. You wished to keep your identity anonymous for as long as possible. 

You had only dressed up because Hoseok had asked, he wanted to whisk you off on another date after things were done. Plus, it gave you reason to wear that gown that’s been sitting in the back of your closet for so long. Your previous boss had given it you as a gift, saying you were bound to grace many award shows in the future. Little did he know that you were too shy for any of that and you enjoyed remaining...mysterious. Plus, it’s not like you stood out backstage. Plenty of the staff also dress up for these events even if they’re not in the public eye a majority of the night. 

“Wah, so pretty” Taehyung amused aloud. “I’d ruffle your hair like old times but I don’t want to mess it up!” 

“Thank you Tae” you giggle. You turn to smile warmly at Hoseok, who’s eyes haven’t left you for even a second since you walked in. Jungkook didn’t miss this fact. 

“Are you excited to see everyone perform?” Namjoon asked while fixing his sleeve. 

“I am! I haven’t seen a BTS live stage in so long. Not to mention some of the other groups I worked with are also here” You say excitedly. 

“Ok guys, it’s time” announces the manager. He quickly says hi to you, and lets you know that. He leads you to the other staff, who were taking another car to the venue. 

“I wish you could ride with us. Or better yet walk the stage with me. It’s not fair that Jungkook gets to walk his date down the red carpet” Hoseok whines, trying to soak in as much time as he can with you. 

You blush at the comment. “I’ll see you after, silly. I promise”

“I hope you’re the first thing I see. You better be cheering louder than anyone else!” he says, starting to leave for the rest of the boys. Jungkook watches on as you and Hoseok converse, and he hates the jealousy that boils inside him. 

“Of course. Now go!” you say, slightly pushing Hoseok forward. “Bye, Handsome” you say quietly. You smile as you hear “Bye, Beautiful”

The red carpet seemed to go on forever. Jungkook just wanted to walk into the venue and settle down for the rest of the night. Reporters kept asking him and Sooyoung about their relationship. He wished he could just walk with the rest of his members like normal. They were already in the venue and he only made it about half way!

Luckily, Sooyoung was required to sit with the rest of her group, much to her chagrin. The award show as a whole was pretty great, and the boys loved hearing all their fans cheer for them. They won numerous awards, including a few daesangs, and their stage went incredibly well. 

The end of the award show was finally here and as soon as all the idols walked off the stage, Sooyoung immediately walked back to Jungkook and the rest of the boys. 

The boys and Sooyoung were led towards their own dressing room so that they could get changed and get ready to head out. As the boys walked farther down the venue, they approached their room. It was only when they got closer did both Jungkook and Hoseok (as well as the rest of the boys) see you waiting by the door. 

For a second, it was if Jungkook had forgot the past- the breakup, the years since then, and the fact that he was dating someone else. When his eyes landed on you, he felt the same urge he felt years ago- to run to you and give you the biggest hug he could muster at the moment. He so desperately wanted to hear how proud of him you were again and how much you loved him. And for a second, he swore you felt the same because you looked so proud, so happy. You had a big smile on your face and it looked like you were eagerly waiting for him to approach. 

Except it wasn’t him you were waiting for. 

He saw Hoseok practically run to you, engulfing you in a big hug. It was like something out of a movie- he practically lifted you up and spun you around. Your giggles could be heard by everyone around and if the sight in front of him didn’t hurt so much, the sound would have been absolutely delightful. 

The boys were all on a high right now- they had a great night with the award shows. It was definitely a night to celebrate all of their hard work. Hoseok especially felt incredibly happy tonight. Not only did his band do incredibly well tonight, but he also got to celebrate with his special girl. The joy was he felt was almost overwhelming. 

So no, he couldn’t help himself when he ran up to you and hugged you. He didn’t care who saw, even Jungkook. Any consequences would be worth it because he swore the way you laughed with him was the most amazing sound in the world. 

He set you down a moment later and you wrapped your hands around his neck and closed your eyes. At this point, the rest of the members were approaching you both. “I’m so freaking proud of you” you say, just so he can hear. 

But Jungkook heard it. 

And the words he wished so desperately hear would now haunt him because it was clear as day that yes, you moved on. Yes, you liked Hoseok. Yes, there was something going on between the two of you. And yes, you seemed incredibly happy. 

To Jungkook it felt like he lost. Not like losing a game, but he lost out on something incredible. Something real. And he didn’t know if he could rectify that loss. 

So while tonight was a night for celebration and fun, he watched on at your happiness along with that of the rest of the boys. He watched and he felt unhappier each second, despite all he had to be thankful for. 

For everything just didn’t seem worth it without you.