#goddamn emmylou

[fruitcage]

In the hour of gold, the hour of lead We did forge our wedding bed On a hard and holy road We lay down our heads In the hour of gold, the hour of lead

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #23:

Carole King's Writer

Thrift store dollar bins were packed with copies of Tapestry 30 years ago. Battered copies were straight up ubiquitous, and I blamed the crazy cat lady on cover for taking up space in the bin that I felt should have been given over to all the Lou Reed records I did not yet own. I didn't want Tapestry, or Herb Albert's whipped cream covered lady or that terrifying record with my bearded cousin naked in the arms of Barbara Streisand. I wanted a goddamn copy of The Bells.

I wasn't the only person pissed at poor Carole King. Soon after helping Joni, Aretha and Linda tear down patriarchy's first wall King became terribly unpopular. It took Lauren Graham plopping into bed beside her TV daughter for the public to welcome King back into their ears.

Good luck getting King's rewritten-for-the-show ode to parental dedication out of your head in the next 24 hours.

But why did King spend the 20+ years before Lorelai as a Dollar Bin villain? Why did Emmylou and Joni get 90's reboots while King got squat? Sure, as the 70's unfurled, King's records faded from transcendent to dull, but let's not kid ourselves: simply put, King was a gangly songwriting genius with a slightly nasal singing voice, and that still only works for people with dicks.

King was so unpopular in the 80's that her biggest credit that decade is the theme song to the Care Bears Movie. Brace yourselves.

Happily, King eventually escaped from these terrifyingly plush beasts, got a well deserved medal from Obama and grudgingly allowed Lane to play the drums, so don't expect to find a copy of Tapestry in any Dollar Bin these days.

But every other one of King's records is easily and cheaply available, and there's a whole lot to appreciate about King other than Tapestry. The very best place to start is with her first solo record, Writer.

Common misconceptions about King are a) that she and her lyricists stuck to dull, G-Rated topics (like caring-a-lot) and b) that she could not rock. Tapestry lives up to its hallowed status, but it also reinforces these tropes: the only vaguely PG lyrics on Tapestry involve Slapwater Jack's shotgun, and the album contains zero feedback.

But drop the needle on Side 1 of Writer: the first track, Spaceship Races, is wild and weird; had King's cat sat in on this recording session it would have, to quote Steinbeck, crapped a litter of lizards.

There is so much going on in this song.  Okay, the guitar riff isn't exactly J Mascis material, but the drums spur us forward, the bridge slows us down, the closing guitar/piano fade is worthy of a whole additional song and King's jubilant chorus is just what I'd want my R2 unit to spill into the X-Wing's cockpit while I kamikazed joyfully into the Death Star.

Writer also includes King's own take on one of her most covered tracks, Goin' Back. The song was made famous by the Dusty Springfield in 66 and the Byrds in 67 but everyone sings it, from Nils Lofgrin to Phil Collins. I've never heard a version I didn't like (probably because I have not listened to the version by Collins), but King's own recording, with tasteful backing vocals from her friend James Taylor, rocks, swings and sways: Carole understands her own song better than anyone else.

Goin' Back isn't the only already classic track of her own that King finally claims on this album. I wish there was a copy of the Byrd's Easy Rider theme Wasn't Born to Follow on Writer, but King's even more famous musical manual for self-reflection, Up On The Roof, stands in for it here, a lovely fade at the end of this Dollar Bin classic.

As you surely know, King had spent all of the 60's writing such songs with her husband/lyricist Gerry Goffin for other performers. Together King and Goffin let Aretha Franklin be a natural woman and invented the Locomotion.

But Writer sees King begin her pivot away from both her marriage (they divorced in 68) and the patriarchal gesture. Her friend Toni Stern (she/her) helps King write for the first time without a man in the room on this record; a partnership that would culminate a year later in one the best individual songs of King's, make that anyone's, entire career, It's Too Late, from Tapestry.

Here's to the upcoming wave of Gen Z and Gen Alpha non-male singer-songwriters. Let's hope they are a powerful group who are admired not for their cookie cutter looks, heterosexuality or voice, but instead for their genius and their shared loathing of Stephen Stills.

And let's hope they all love and respect Carole King. In other words, let's hope there are a whole more Lucy Dacus's in the pipeline. We need them!

[countrymusicandcher]

Emmylou Harris laughing at Kate McGarrigle, after Daniel Lanois commented on her 'nice, loud piano comp'.

[everyfeelingplaylists]

Coyote Choir - It’s 2 in the morning. The bedroom window is open. This is what you hear.

Genres: Americana, folk

Vibe: resilience, fuck you-ness, wildness, darkness, jo-march-women.gif

Flavor notes: women’s voices, howl-ish rises and falls, vocal-heavy

Length: 56 min

Highlights:

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) - the original coyote choir track. I heard this song and immediately pictured a coyote girl group. I love the way their voices sound together and how the line send my love to your new lover sounds a little yippy. 

Animal Kingdom Chaotic - the vibe. is so. coyote. this song makes me feel like a feral thing at the edge of humanity. I just work here! computer says no!

Barley - this song is a prayer and a mantra and a promise and a threat and goddamn do I love it. her voice is so beautiful and the way they add elements is just -chef’s kiss-

Full track list:

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) I’m With Her, Paul Kowert

America First Aid Kit

Furnace Room Lullaby Neko Case

At the Purchaser’s Option Rhiannon Giddens

Water Witch The Secret Sisters, Brandi Carlile

Greens of June Neko Case, k d lang, Laura Veirs

Call My Name The Secret Sisters, Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz, Aoife O’Donovan

Deeper Well Emmylou Harris

Quasheba, Quasheba Our Native Daughters, Amythyst Kiah, Rhiannon Giddens, Leyla McCalla, Allison Russell

Barley Birds of Chicago

Banshee Moan Shannon McNally

Rang Tang Ring Toon Mountain Man

Black Myself Our Native Daughters, Amythyst Kiah, Rhiannon Giddens, Leyla McCalla, Allison Russell

Animal Kingdom Chaotic Jesca Hoop

Canary Joy Williams

[krispyweiss]

Don Heffington Dies at 70

- Drummer played with Lone Justice, Emmylou Harris, Bob Dylan, Watkins Family Hour and Others

Drummer Don Heffington - a former member of Emmylou Harris’ Hot Band, who went on to join Lone Justice and later appeared on albums by Bob Dylan, Watkins Family Hour and others - died March 24.

Heffington was 70 and died of complications from leukemia, The Los Angeles Times reports.

“I still don't know what to say except that I will be forever grateful to have known, made music with, laughed with and learned from Don Heffington,” the Blasters’ Dave Alvin wrote on social media. “Goddamn, I'm gonna miss him.”

When Lone Justice disbanded after a short run in the 1980s, Heffington went on to appear on a long list of albums by a wide variety of artists, including Van Dyke Parks, who tweeted: “R.I.P., old saddle buddy.”

Heffington’s other credits include: Leo Kottke’s Time Step; Dylan’s Empire Burlesque; Amy Rigby’s Diary of a Mod Housewife; the Wallflowers’ Bringing Down the Horse; Over the Rhine’s Film for Radio; Watkins Family Hour; and many others.

A “beyond sad” Rigby called the drummer “a stellar musician and unforgettable character,” while Over the Rhine said: “It was a thrill to get to walk the high wire with him.”

Ron Sexsmith, who recruited Heffington for his Carousel One and Forever Endeavour LPs, remembered him as a “wonderful drummer, percussionist and songwriter.”

“I always loved working with him,” Sexsmith tweeted.

3/25/21

[janiedean]

meme

taggedy by @randomingoftherandomness​ thank you!

1. Nicknames: either the one everyone uses or janie ;)

2. Zodiac sign: leo

3. Height: According to my passport, 165 cm

4. Hogwarts house: I’m neutral good and that’s the only classification I accept

5. Last thing I googled: ... I have no idea it was yesterday XDDDDDD

6. Favourite musicians: bon jovi, bruce springsteen, led zeppelin, bob dylan, warren zevon, steve earle, patti smith, queen, stone temple pilots, guns n’ roses, the gaslight anthem/brian fallon, jeff buckley, lucinda williams, emmylou harris, the beatles, pretty much the whole new folk from the sixties, nick cave, johnny cash (alt. country in general tbqh), fabrizio de andré; then I like classical music but if we go over that XDDD

7. Song stuck in my head: the entirety of bruce springsteen’s new record which is2g I will review asap

8. Followers: 3650 (welcome all the new people from the last few days!!)

9. Following: 1566

10. Do you get asks: I do! I’m behind answering them sorry guys but believe me I appreciate all of them ;_;

11. Amount of sleep: I can’t function if I don’t have at least six or seven and it shows

12. Lucky number: 2

13. What are you wearing: a purple dress

14. Dream job: published writer or record shop/bookshop owner hahahahahahahaha *cries*

15. Dream trip: US road trip, that’d be great ;;

16. Instruments: I can play the bass very badly and I once studied piano but it didn’t take

17. Languages: italian and english spoken currently, I can read np and get by in french, basic german (I mean I’m really not that good at it and I should take it back up but if you give me a dictionary I can sort of manage reading it if it’s not too hard and my pronunciation is apparently still good), I can still sort of read latin and ancient greek but don’t ask me instant translations xDDD (also I’m trying to learn irish gaelic but I haven’t gotten into it yet the way I want to)

18. Favourite song: bon jovi’s these days

19. Random fact: I once managed third row at a springsteen concert. it was An Experience.

20. Aesthetic: 

THIS IS MY GODDAMNED AESTHETIC. bye.

aaand tagging @aviss, @fleurdulys @ofwickedlight @robb-greyjoy @artemisa97 @liesmyth and whoever else wants to xD

[flanabananacakes]

Rules: Tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know better!

@mysticmermaid AND @sweetcinnamonmaplesyrupn tagged me! I feel so loved!!!! ToT ToT ToT 

Nickname: ohh geez I have many. But Emushka and Emmylou are the most popular these days. 

Gender: i am a goddamn princess. 

Astrological sign: Gemini! I’m not a twin, but there are 4 or 5 consecutive generations of twins on my mum’s side and counting. The thought of having kids scares me ;^^;

Height: a whole 5′ 4″ woot woot 

Sexuality: uncooked linguini 

Hogwarts House: i was never really into harry potter. Don’t know, don’t really care, srry. 

Favorite Animals: DOGS, CATS, SHEEP, ALPACA but not llamas, they’re mean

Number of blankets: just my fluffy comforter in the summer, but i load em up in the winter. 

Dream trip: well ya know I would love to see outer space with my own eyes, but I’d prolly get bored in 10 min. I would also like to see Italy.  

When l created this account: like...3 years ago? Give or take, i dunno

Why l created this account: direct access to memes, and then I convinced my friends to follow me. . . Isn’t that how cults start? 

I’m tagging the people who tagged me just so ya’ll know I appreciate and love you OWO @mysticmermaid, @sweetcinnamonmaplesyrup, @space-kitten-606 @you-had-me-at-e-flat-major @choi-twins-wifey @meatytheburrito @elizabethanbean @the-blue-double @moonsocarina

[visionaria]

Visionaria Playlist

Here are most of the songs referenced in the blog. I think I’ve got them all. It does not including songs I listened to while writing. Those are separate lists. Enjoy!

-Visionaria

Supposed to Make You Happy - Tift Merrit

A Change is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens

Rain - Patty Griffin

Snow - Harry Nilsson

America The Beautiful - Ray Charles

Some Rain Must Fall - Ella Fitzgerald

Sadness - Enigma

This Love Will Carry - Dougie MacLean

Come Away, Come Sweet Love - John Dowland

That’s How Strong My Love is - Otis Redding

Long Long Time - Linda Ronstadt

This Dirty Little Town - Tracy Grammer

Red Hill Mining Town - U2

Arrow - Cheryl Wheeler

Damn Your Eyes - Alex Clare

You’d Be So Nice to Come Home To - Julie London (although most versions are good)

Love is Blind - Eve

One Way or Another - Blondie

Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac

Not Ready to Make Nice - Dixie Chicks

Crucify - Tori Amos

Adam & Eve - Ani DiFranco

Not A Pretty Girl - Ani DiFranco

Drive - Melissa Ferrick

Piece of My Heart - Big Brother and the Holding Company (Janis Joplin)

Pissing In a River - Patti Smith

Crazy On You - Heart

Howl - Florence and the Machine

No Light, No Light - Florence and the Machine

Lighthouse Light - Redbird

You May Be Right - Billy Joel

There’s a Long, Long Trail - Ada Reeve

Ten Year Night - Lucy Kaplansky

The One That Got Away - Pink

Essence - Lucinda Williams

Cry To Me - Solomon Burke

Winter Song - Sarah Bareilles

You Are My Lucky Star - Debbie Reynolds

You Belong To Me - The Duprees

Boulder to Birmingham - Emmylou Harris

Swan Dive - Ani DiFranco

Sweet Baby James - James Taylor

Everybody Knows - Leonard Cohen

Purple Rain - Prince

Boots Of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan (Mandolin Orange has a pretty version)

Don’t Think Twice - Bob Dylan 

Better Be Good To Me - Tina Turner

Kiss - Faith Hill

Lawyers Guns and Money - Warren Zevon

Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way - LeAnn Rimes

Breathe (2AM) - Anna Nalick

Thrift Store Chair - Everclear

Wish it Was True - While Buffalo

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Reminds Me of You - Van Morrison

Juice and June - Kris Delmhorst

Round Midnight - Sarah Vaughn

Stupid American - Eddie From Ohio

The Very Thought of You - Billie Holliday

We Belong - Pat Benatar

Cry Me A River - Julie London

Save The Last Dance For Me - The Drifters

’Til It’s Gone - Po’Girl

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams

Lucky Now - Ryan Adams

Dirty Rain - Ryan Adams

If I am A Stranger - Ryan Adams

The Eye - Brandi Carlile

Wherever Is Your Heart - Brando Carlile

Sweet Kate - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

Gentle Soldier of My Soul - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

41 Thunderer - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

Number of My Love - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

Mockingbird - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons

Born Again - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons

What Do You Need - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons

Your Love is So Wrong For Me - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons

Kingdom Come - The Civil Wars

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Time and Time Again - Counting Crows

Sullivan Street - Counting Crows

Angels Would Fall - Melissa Etheridge

Don’t You Need - Melissa Etheridge

The Late September Dogs - Melissa Etheridge 

Bring Me Some Water - Melissa Etheridge 

Like The Way I Do - Melissa Etheridge 

Mesa Arizona - Jeffrey Foucault

Northbound 35 - Jeffrey Foucault

Voices Talking - Jeffrey Foucault

Love is Our Cross to Bear - John Gorka

I Saw A Stranger With Your Hair - John Gorka

The One That Got Away - John Gorka

Blood and Fire - Indigo Girls

Kid Fears - Indigo Girls

Prince of Darkness - Indigo Girls

Ghost - Indigo Girls

Stockholm - Jason Isbell 

Cover Me Up - Jason Isbell

Goddamn Lonely Love - Jason Isbell

Songs She Sang in the Shower - Jason Isbell

White Man’s World - Jason Isbell

Hope the Highroad - Jason Isbell

Traveling Alone - Jason Isbell

Live Oak - Jason Isbell

Mean - Pink

So What - Pink

Come Back Home - Chris Pureka

Burning Bridges - Chris Pureka

31 And Falling - Chris Pureka

Sweet Mistakes - Ellis Paul

Speed of Trees - Ellis Paul

Citizen of the World - Ellis Paul

Love Has No Pride - Bonnie Raitt

Angel From Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt and John Prine

Nora - Richard Shindell

Reunion Hill - Richard Shindell

4th of July, Asbury Park - Bruce Springsteen

I’m on Fire - Bruce Springsteen

Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen

Mercy of the Fallen - Dar Williams

Iowa - Dar Williams

It’s Alright - Dar Williams

As Cool As I Am - Dar Williams

The Ocean - Dar Williams

You’re Aging Well - Joan Baez and Dar Williams

[mrsrcbinscn]

All the Songs from Mak’s top 100 of 2021 on Spotify that Franny Sor Robinson has covered

You know what this is lmao

It’s going to be the song title, the # on my top 100, and it’ll say if it’s a cover Franny did live in a solo show, or posted on youtube, or a clip on tiktok, and if it was solo or with Daniel for Dara & Danny, Seoul Hanoi’d, or We Are Friendly Knives.

I got lazy about linking them like 10 songs in bc I know y’all won’t go listen to them anyway so why BE EXTRA when I can finish sooner to WRITE REPLIES LMAO

Voices  by Joshua Ray Walker - #2 - posted November 30th, 2021 on her Instagram and YouTube channels with a clip on Tiktok - Solo

The video is a recording of her just singing and playing on guitar in her home studio. The Franny stand went wild because she killed that loooooong bit at around 2:55

She’s posting a lot of clips of sad songs right now bc she’s Sad TM due to her hand injury, she’s going through it

Panhandle Slim by The Panhandlers - #7 - A short clip of the first verse and chorus posted to her Instagram - solo, just chilling in her bedroom

Choices by George Jones - #8 - Performed live with Daniel Maitland as Dara & Danny

Streets of Bakersfield by Buck Owens and Dwight Yoakam - #9 - Live with Daniel Maitland as Dara & Danny, and also has posted a cover with her cousin Jakob of her indie pop duo We Are Friendly Knives singing it with her on YouTube 

This song is pure dopamine to the brain. Especially when you know the story of Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens /gross happy sobbing

It’s Time to Switch to Whiskey by Corb Lund - #11 - Live with Daniel Maitland as Dara & Danny

Corb Lund is a Canadian country music staple, so Franny and Dan often cover It’s Time to Switch To Whiskey at shows in Canada. They have a few Canadian country music staples that they alternate between at different shows.

The song at the beginning is an old Scottish and American folk song called Rye Whiskey, often Pete Seeger’s version is cited as a famous one. Franny has also done the folk song ‘Rye Whiskey.’ 

Poor, Poor Pitiful Me by Linda Ronstadt - #13 - Long history with this song

 If Franny ever needs a impress-a-crowd-free card, she just needs to sing a Linda Ronstadt song. In Arizona, where Ronstadt is from, she always sings something of hers. She’s been performing Poor, Poor, Pitiful me since she was in high school. There’s several videos of her performing it on YouTube, but the one that’s most circulated is one with Seoul Hanoi’d at a 2017 show they headlined in Arizona, where she sang it as the first encore song.

idfc by Blackbear - #16 - A video on YouTube featuring her younger cousin from New Zealand, Georgia Seng

Reference the Franny’s relatives spreadsheet lmao. Georgia was born in 1993 and is a singer-songwriter from Auckland, New Zealand. The video is on Georgia’s YouTube channel as she suggested the song.

I Ain’t Never by Webb Pierce - #18 - Solo performance, Dara & Danny

Franny’s covered this song at solo shows, with Dan, and on TikTok. 

Seven Year Ache by Roseanne Cash - #19 - Long history with this song

Franny’s been performing Seven Year Ache since the 90s. See this HC piece I wrote!

Kuala Lumpur by Kevin Devine - #20 - Seoul Hanoi’d live

Seoul Hanoi’d is HELLA popular in Southeast Asia, where most of the members claim heritage. And they always are touring in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. So they cover this song in Kuala Lumpur obviously

Dixie Darlin by The Wilder Blue - #22 - a youtube video with Daniel Maitland and other bluegrass/American folk/country musicians of color 

This song is. So. Goddamn. Beautiful. FUCK.

Anyway, she, Dan, and some other musicians of color in the kind of music Franny makes when she makes music with Dan, got together and were just jamming and posted this song

Bluebird Wine by Rodney Crowell and Emmylou Harris - #23 - solo, with Dara & Danny, with We Are Friendly Knives

This song is pure serotonin, she’ll sing it with anybody!

 The Moon Is High (And So Am I) by Roger Miller - #24 - solo, on a Roger Miller tribute album 

I wrote about it in this hc piece!

Don’t Close Your Eyes by Keith Whitley - #25 - solo, pretty famous performance

Franny sang Don’t Close Your Eyes at a show when she was the second of three acts at a concert in Austin, Texas. Some video recorded on a college kid’s phone made the internet rounds, and fans of Franny will often include this performance of Don’t Close Your Eyes in the list of must-see Franny performances.

She’s also recorded a better quality video of the song featuring the Seoul Hanoi’d musicians.

Last Thing On My Mind by Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton - #26 - live with Dara & Danny, and a studio version is on one of their albums

Of course she’s done this classic!

Balance Ton Quoi by Angele - #28 - Solo, Youtube video

Cover insp! Reminder that she’s fluent in French because her parents spoke French to each other at home often, so she picked it up some in childhood and worked for fluency as an adult

Supernova by Liz Phair - #34 - Long history with the song

When she was in high school and college, it was a staple in the bands she was in. With Seoul Hanoi’d, the band she co-fronts, it is a song they cover in shows from time to time. 

Seoul Hanoi’d also covered it during a Spotify Session.

I’ve Been Everywhere by Hank Snow - #36 - Live, Dara & Danny

Click here for the lyrics of their unique version!

One Night Standards by Ashley McBryde - #38 - YouTube video, where she played all the instruments and mixed it herself (even drums!)

Franny knows Ashley McBryde canonically, ofc she’s gonna boost her song!

Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown - #41 - YouTube video and TikTok on her cousin Mungkol’s pages

Her much younger cousin, Mungkol (1998), one of her few cousins actually born and raised in Cambodia, is a rapper, singer, model, tiktok star, and producer in Cambodia.

During a visit to Cambodia, she of course met up with her family that lives there and she played guitar and sang harmony for a video with Mungkol singing this song.

Brooklyn Boy by Kevin Devine - #42 - solo, youtube

Just a video of her singing this song and playing guitar in her bedroom!

 Martha Divine by Ashley McBryde - #45 - Solo, YouTube video

She played all the instruments for this one too!

Lonesome 7-7203 by Hawkshaw Hawkins - #46 - solo, YouTube and Instagram

This underrated song is one of Franny’s favorite old country songs! Another gone too soon gem.

When It Rains It Pours by Luke Combs - #47 - Live with Dara & Danny

Franny was the main singer for the cover and didn’t change the pronouns ofc, so now it’s gay lmao

Here In Eden by Charles Wesley Godwin - #55 - solo, YouTube video

Franny loves covering songs by up and coming artists. And this song really struck both of us!

Pigs That Ran Straightaway Into The Water by The Mountain Goats- #58 - Live, solo

She’s a Mountain Goats stan lmao

The Cowboy Rides Away by George Strait - #61 - live, Dara & Danny

If you want to get a whole amphitheater of southerners singing, George Strait

Bambi by Tokyo Police Club - #66 - live, Seoul Hanoi’d

It’s a song they just dig, so they performed it once at a concert!

Nose on The Grindstone by Tyler Childers - #74 - solo, youtube video

Franny recorded a video of her singing this song while sitting on the floor of the living room of her childhood home in Georgia

You Win Again by Hank Williams - #77 - many times

There’s a solo video of her doing this song, but over the summer actually she and Clara did You Win Again together :3 -- their harmonies were fUCKing perfection

And she’s performed the song with Daniel at shows too.

Keep Your Heart Young by Brandi Carlile - #83 - Live, Dara & Danny

 Takin’ Off This Pain by Ashton Shepherd - #84 - Live

Your Hurricane by Death Cab For Cutie - #85- Live, Seoul Hanoi’d

Reincarnation by Roger Miller - #86 - Live, solo, Dara & Danny; also YouTube and TikTok

As She’s Walking Away by Zac Brown Band - #98 - Live, Dara & Danny

Snakes Crawl At Night - #99 - Live, Dara & Danny

[wearerecyclebins]

“My Emmylou” a destiel fic

Cut me some slack, I have never fully written a fic before now.

Based loosely off the song “Emmylou” by Vance Joy. I can’t listen to it without thinking of Destiel.

Pairing: Dean/Cas, obviously

Warnings: nightmares, PTSD, blood. just ANGST

enjoy, please, im begging you. comment?maybe?? please????

It surrounded him again. Every goddamn night.

Castiel appeared in the bunker, materializing into a space of eerie quiet. He stood, absolutely still, listening through the suffocating silence and darkness for something, anything, to suggest that he wasn’t being dragged through this again. Then he heard it; the faintest drip of liquid, something that sounded horrifically like blood.

Cas rushed to find the light switch to see what terrible scene lay before him. He felt along the wall, searching, his hand touching something warm and thick as he found the switch. Dread shot through him as the lights came on, and Cas let out a strangled cry: there were pools of blood everywhere on the floor, splashes on the walls trickling down crimson streaks. Cas searched frantically to find someone wounded— or, he shuddered to think, a body— having trouble breathing as he wandered the vacant bunker. He felt as though all the oxygen had stopped being pumped in.

“Sam!” he shouted, his voice straining. “DEAN!” He ran through every corridor, room, even down to the garage, screaming for someone to emerge alive. He even found himself calling out the people they’d already lost: Kevin, Charlie, Bobby. They were all gone, most likely dead somewhere where he couldn’t help, he couldn’t save them. So many people were gone, never coming back, because of him.

Cas had cried out until he was hoarse, and then some, until his voice broke completely. He’d ended up breaking down in sobs on the blood puddled floor, hopeless to ever see his family again. He sat there, wishing that he could change the past, rip it, annihilate it until he had his family whole and alive again. He wanted to decimate all of the times he’d betrayed them, all of the hurt, the damage that was all because of him. Yet here he sat, in the blood that was no doubt of his family; blood that was on his hands where he felt it belonged.

Cas was jolted by an even worse realization; black goo had started to ooze along with the blood. He shot to his feet, watching in horror as black overtook crimson, the bunker, everything. Then voices, blood curdling cries for help that would never come, insistent pleads telling him to stop, cries of guilt and hurt hurdled at him, all by his friends; all of them pierced through his head, all echoing and demanding attention on top of each other. Cas vainly covered his ears, wanting it all to stop, everything. Just when Cas couldn’t take it anymore, a cold voice seemed to shout; “I know what you hate. I know who you love. There is nothing for you back there.” And Cas, as he felt himself fall through the blackness that was once the bunker, couldn’t help but think that the Empty was right all along.

Cas woke in his bed, sitting bolt upright with a piercing scream. He was sweating and shaking at the same time, his lungs seeming to protest their intended function. He couldn’t suck in enough air, the suffocating blackness of his room not letting him remember that his dream was over, that it wasn’t real. He sat, ironically praying, that his body could let this pass, as it had done so many times before. This time was different somehow, and it scared the living hell out of him.

In his panic, Cas hadn’t registered the footsteps running down the hall. It didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety when Dean came bursting through the door holding his gun, ready to shoot.

“What is it? What’s happening?!” he demanded Cas, giving the room a swift onceover before realizing there was no supernatural threat. Looking back at Cas, Dean’s expression softened into one full of worry, but like he’d seen this happen before.

“Another nightmare?” he said gently, more of a statement than a question. Cas didn’t respond, only sat in his bed trying to get a hold on his nerves. He still couldn’t breathe properly. Dean sat down next to him, trying to get him to take deep breaths, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It's okay, it's over, you’re okay,” he kept repeating, Cas eventually calming down enough to speak.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, keeping his head down. “You should go back to bed, I’ve dealt with this before, I’ll be okay.” Dean didn’t even bother responding, he just stayed, making it clear that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“You wanna talk about it?” Dean asked, though he knew that wasn’t the way things went around here. Cas paused a moment, not sure if he could, then he took a deep breath.

“The usual things. My past mistakes, lives I’ve ruined,” he started, not knowing how to continue. “It was just… more than usual, I guess.” He looked up at Dean, his green eyes way too full of understanding. Cas knew they both went through nights like these, and it infuriated him. All of the things they’d been through, the things Cas himself had caused; the nightmares, the PTSD, he regretted every second of it.

“Hey,” Dean said upon seeing Cas tear up, buried in his own thoughts. “I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. All of us deal with this bullshit every now and then; but none of it is your fault.” He looked Cas in the face, imploring him to understand. He wanted to say something else, how he broke while Cas was gone, how he found himself unable to function without his angel. He couldn’t work up the guts to say any of that, however, and just settled on one: “You’re our best friend, okay? Nothing can change that.” Cas nodded and looked down, but wasn’t convinced— of himself or Dean, he wasn’t sure which.

“Thank you,” he spoke up, blinking hard. He felt Dean’s hand tilt his chin up, and they were looking at each other through the darkness.

“You want me to stay with you?” Dean asked after a moment. Cas nodded, not taking his eyes off Dean, his face peppered with freckles noticeable even in the pitch blackness. Dean took his time lowering his hand from Cas’ face, his fingers lingering. He studied the bright blue of his eyes before getting under the covers.

“You comin’ to bed, sleepyhead?” he chuckled. The corners of Cas’ mouth lifted in a soft smile despite himself, joining Dean. He lay there a moment, and shifted closer to the other man, putting his head on his shoulder.

The shock from the nightmare was finally starting to wear off; Cas could practically feel himself breaking. The tears started coming for real now, Cas working to suppress his sobs as they soaked into Dean’s shirt. Dean put an arm around him, pulling him closer.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered, holding Cas tight as he cried. “You’re safe, you’re home.” He planted a kiss into the other man’s dark hair, Cas going to hold Dean’s hand to keep from getting completely hysterical. Being held by Dean, it made Cas’ night a little less suffocating. He knew that he could look up through the dark and see the face of the man he’d loved since he saved him all those years ago.

They laid like that the rest of the night, Dean thinking over what Cas had been through. There’d been nothing but trouble for him since he’d fallen, none of which he deserved. He looked down at Cas, who met his eyes with bloodshot ones. Without thinking, Dean pulled him into a gentle kiss, cupping the angel’s face. He could taste his tears as Cas pulled Dean closer, pulling away after a few seconds. They looked at each other, surprised at what they’d done. Though, the more Dean thought about it, the less surprising it was. He could feel Cas on his shoulder, where the hand print used to be. They settled down, holding each other close. Cas had raised Dean from perdition ages ago; it was about time he saved him too.

[thejonzone]

Jon Writes a Year-End List

My favorite songs of 2020, alphabetically by artist

Bedouine (Margo Guryan cover)- The Hum

The original Guryan version is good but Bedouine’s take is cleaner, all the better to emphasize Guryan’s blissful songwriting. I could listen to the chords in the chorus forever.

Bob Dylan- I’ve Made Up My Mind to Give My Heart to You

It’s nice to hear Bob sing a yearning and clear-eyed love song. And the way he stretches out his words gives the whole thing a confidence that’s easy to get lost in. 

Boldy James- Giant Slide

Boldy had a great year, and it’s The Price of Tea in China with Alchemist producing that stood out to me. 

Empty Country- Becca

I don’t go to music festivals anymore, but listening to this album makes me dream of hearing it live, while being dehydrated, sweaty, feet hurting, holding in a p*op, a late afternoon sunburn loading. I want the whole thing!!

fawning, Rui Gabriel ft. Jack Riley- God

Toss it on the cloudy day walking playlist!

Frances Quinlan- Went to LA 

Great cathartic yell in this one. Quinlan builds up a palpable tension here. It rocks.

Judy ft. Jack Dolan, jommis- Say What U Mean

You’ve got to imagine these fellas knew they had put a few catchy melodies down while trying to out-croon each other.

Kurt Vile ft. John Prine (John Prine cover)- How Lucky

A Prine acolyte with a feature from the man himself. RIP.

Lala Lala, Grapetooth- Valentine

Kind of like a slow-dance song at nightmare prom. I love the percussion and Frankel’s villainously-low voice.

Lil Durk- Street Affection

The range of emotions Durk can access and scroll through is impressive.  

Miranda Winters- Little Baby Dead Bird

Scuzzy guitar and violin create a hypnotic effect in this evocative dirge. Miranda Winters is such a good singer. Check out her main band, Melkbelly-- they put out a great album this year!

Nap Eyes- Mark Zuckerberg

Two guitars: one is pointy, the other is chugging. That is the correct way to do two guitars.

Noname- Song 33

This song is 70 seconds. 70! Noname casually negates J. Cole and the song isn’t even about him. She’s so great. 

Ratboys- I Go Out at Night

Julia Steiner is on her The Hours shit in this melancholic fantasy of leaving and not returning. 

Rio da Yung OG, Lil Yachty- 1v1

I like how Yachty comes in on his verse! It’s been fun to see him back in action with his new Michigan friends. Rio is the star here, though. And Enrgy too. 

Soccer Mommy- yellow is the color of her eyes 

Sophia Allison’s delivery of “The tiny lie I told to myself is making me hollow” might be my line of the year. 

Swamp Dogg- Memories

The whole of Sorry You Couldn’t Make It is great, but for Swamp Dogg, who has covered John Prine, to work with the man before he died is a special accomplishment, and we’re better off that it’s recorded. 

Tall Juan- Irene

One of my favorite 2020 releases. And I’ll be a bit vulnerable here folks….when I am walking outside and this song comes on, I push my butt out a little bit and walk like I have rhythm and purpose. 

Tierra Whack- Dora

I’m so excited to see what Tierra Whack does, from her beat selection to how she jumps between flow and cadence. She understands herself so well. 

Non-2020-specific Music I Enjoyed, in Superlative Form

Group Vocal Performance Most Likely to Pierce Your Heartless Facade

Yesu Ka Mkwebaze

Best Song to Listen to if You are an 1850’s-era whaler in Your Feels

Mary Ann

Favorite Duet (Not Blood-Related)

Emmylou Harris and Herb Pedersen (but mostly Emmylou) create such an intricate and gorgeous melody on “If I Could Only Win Your Love”. Pedal steel heads and mandolin freaks, eat up.

Favorite Duet (Blood-related)

The Louvin Brothers- When I Stop Dreaming

Any longtime friends of the show know I’m a big fan of the singing duo The Louvin Brothers. They’ve got that golden country tone but it’s the blood harmony that turns these guys into something else entirely.

And here’s the kicker, folks. Emmylou covered When I Stop Dreaming! How coincidental for all of us reading this End of Year list…. The Louvins are my preferred version, but Emmylou, that you could help me make this connection is enough, dayenu!

Most Surprising Use of a Song in a Network TV Show

"Yama Yama" by the Yamasuki Singers, Fargo Season 2

When I was a dishwasher at St. James Cheese Co., late 2016ish, this CD was in our back of house music rotation. It is a magical album-- a Japanese children's choir with French pop production (think a bunch of bells and shit). I never learned the name of the album while working there and it fell out of my mind until years later when, after remembering how much I loved it, realized I had no idea how to find it. The pain of typing different spellings of “japanese children’s choir” into google for days on end.....I literally yelled when Fargo used this in its Season 2 big boy shootout. *chef’s kiss*

Best Album by a Spiritually Hungry Musical Genius, Lapping Her Contemporaries in Arrangement, Theme, and Songwriting, Gone Before Her Time

Judee Sill’s self-titled debut. 

Best Use of a Second Keyboard in A Keyboard Solo

Fountains of Wayne’s Red Dragon Tattoo

Do I mean to say synthesizer? Not sure. RIP Adam Schlesinger and long live FoW. What a loss.

Best Vibes/ Song I’d Most Want to Show Ezra Koenig so That We’d Bond & Become Friends

Zibote

Best Lyrics Written by a Jew in 1920’s NYC Being Sung by Willie Nelson

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea / to the open arms of the sea

Favorite TV Shows

Ramy

-Second season shook its focus on the titular character and oh am I thankful. Not that Ramy himself isn’t great, he is, but the entire cast here deserves attention. The Uncle Naseem episode. The Uncle Naseem episode. Ahem. The Uncle Naseem episode.

Joe Pera Talks with You

Lovecraft Country

-Small gripes and complicated plotlines aside, this anthology connecting gothic horror, racism, and American history is phenomenal. 

Small Axe

-The second installment in this series, Lovers Rock, which takes place at a party, is the vicarious shot in the arm you deserve, you little extroverted thing you. 

I May Destroy You

Betty

The Last Dance

-The first Bulls game I ever went to was the first game *without* Michael Jordan, at the beginning of the ‘98-’99 season. Bad timing.

The Chi

Schitt’s Creek

-This show was never about the plot. Am I allowed to say that? I’ve never cared less for a plot and more for a cast. Catherine O’Hara is in her own league above us all.

Jon Writes a Year-End List

In 2019, my roommate June and I took a road trip through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I was out of a relationship, happily or unhappily I wasn’t sure yet, but along the way I downloaded Tinder hoping to meet a local who’d be excited to make out with me. There wasn’t much bite on my line, but by the time we reached Marquette, largely due to my good looks and charisma I’d orchestrated some type of group date with June, me, a girl from Tinder, and her friend. 

We met at a dingy karaoke bar and drank for cheap. Nobody wanted to hear me sing, but I got on stage anyway and gave “Willin” by Little Feat a go. Some guy at the bar in a maroon work shirt looked at me, scoffed, and left to smoke outside. The four of us weren’t hitting it off, even with alcohol. I and the friend made a plan to sing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys'', but she quickly abandoned the duet after we had begun, citing a lack of vibes.   

But we kept singing and drinking and hours later I was leaning against the bar, waiting to order, standing next to maroon-shirt guy who had so easily shrugged off my existence earlier. What caught my eye as I stood next to him was a Star of David tattoo on his forearm. And sure enough, the name tag stitched onto his shirt identified him as “Isaac”. Well I’ll goddamn be-- this guy was frickin Jewish! I was shocked-- I assumed he was goy in the same way I assumed everyone I ran into up there would be. 

For just one unconscious assumption (I’m the only Jewish person in this Marquette karaoke bar) to be wrong felt great. My assumptions are really awful. I assumed maroon-shirt hated my guts. I assumed these two girls we were drinking with thought I was a loser too. I assume people don’t like me or respect me or have any interest in getting to know me. I tell awful stories about myself to myself, and my assumptions about the world are limiting and boring! With patience, “guy at bar who kinda scowled at me” had all of a sudden turned into “my new friend Isaac” who, after a few minutes of conversation, I “asked to bum a cigarette from.”

One of my favorite shows of 2020 was Joe Pera Talks With You. I still remember watching Joe Pera’s stand-up for the first time, and then rewatching and rewatching, savoring his cadence. He dressed and spoke like a grandpa, replete with pitch-perfect, kinda-gross mouth sounds, stutters, and low-but-driving energy. It’s a good bit, and Joe has morphed it into probably the funniest, sweetest, and least-pandering show of 2020. What I love about this show is its foundational belief that anyone can surprise you, you just need to give yourself time to notice.

I didn’t end up making out with anyone but I did wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. Wake up, barf, whimper. As June drove us out of Marquette, I could barely keep my eyes open. I did notice, however, a massive, wooden structure jutting out into Lake Superior.

It is this same Lake Superior structure that Joe Pera Talks With You fixates on for its first shot of Season 2. Yes, this is an Adult Swim show that takes place in none other than Marquette, Michigan! Which is weird. Think about other movies, shows, or books that take place in the U.P. You can’t! Even zooming out to include the larger Upper-Great Lakes region leaves us with an almost-empty net: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot and titular Gatsby’s origin story on Lake Superior. These are stories of hard living and life and death on the dangerous Great Lakes. But neither of those are specific to the Upper Peninsula.   

Regions are an easy if reductive lens with which to attempt to view and understand people. In 2020, broad and sweeping generalizations about large swaths of people continued to gain power. There was the movie adaptation of JD Vance’s ahistorical Hillbilly Elegy. Woolly-eyed liberals trotted out fake maps of a preferred America that holds only the “good” blue states, not at all engaging in the history of racism and voter suppression that got us here. Besides the fact that Georgia went blue. And Democratic strongholds like California, New York, and Chicago betray any notion of a “better” America. The sins of this nation are not cordoned off into one section or time zone, no region is monolithic, and most importantly, no person can be explained away with a quick sentence.

There is no regional monolith more widely misunderstood than the Midwestern gestalt. Fargo (the show) does a great job of serializing this one type of Midwestern character-- they say “oh sure, happy to help” and they’re murderers. So for Joe Pera to settle his show in the U.P. is a fun choice. Most Americans are probably hard-pressed to conjure an accurate mental picture of who the U.P. is, so Pera creates his own flavor of a seemingly-recognizable small Midwestern town.

In the first episode, Joe walks us through the bean arch he’s growing. Why grow snap beans? “Beans are straightforward.” Straightforwardness, or the appearance of, is central to Pera’s charm. Pera’s shtick is walking the audience through a basic task that can serve as a metaphor for a larger existential question. This conceit isn’t new to Pera, but it has been en vogue recently, with shows like Andy Daly’s Review and the new HBO show How To with John Wilson. These shows present a simple stated goal that obfuscates a larger, more complex grapple. 

Joe Pera Talks With You is incredible and endearing because of the genuine tone Pera gives his tight-knit Marquette. We’re getting deranged lunatics like Conner O’Malley and Dan Licata to write jokes for 70-year old Michigan grandmas at a salon. The show trades in the perceived Midwestern folksiness for a punchline, yet doesn’t lose itself in irony or resentment. 

Every character in the Joe Pera universe has the opportunity to be profound. Pera gives every character the patience they deserve; even O’Malley’s berserk Joe Rogan listening-caricature Mike Melsky gets incredible moments of vulnerability. It’s a rare comedy: self-aware but not self-obsessed, sweet but not gross, and uniquely funny.  

Nowhere else on TV are you going to see such consistently great acting. Some of the best working comedians are in this season. Conner O’Malley has found a way to tap into his unsettling grotesque that is a pleasure to watch, playing characters at the ends of their ropes, shrieking. Jo Firestone is hilarious and essential as Joe’s doom-prepper girlfriend Sarah. We get guest stars like  genius Carmen Christopher. Even one-line role players like Joe’s teacher-coworker, who says Joe and Sarah go together “like desk and chair,” knock it out of the park. 

The questions at the heart of Talks With You feel more pronounced in a year of death and isolation. How do we connect with people? How can we really be there for our loved ones? How can we feel comfortable in our own skin? The show came out pre-pandemic but Pera’s touch and pacing is universal.

It’s difficult not to compare Talks With You to How to with John Wilson. The two shows have a lot in common. Both protagonists are soft-spoken, and speak at an arrhythmic clip. John Wilson’s voice is affected just like Pera’s; both vocal deliveries are meant to engender trust by signaling to us that they’re lacking some social confidence. But I don’t buy Wilson’s shtick as much as Pera’s.

John Wilson’s show is not straightforward in the same way Pera’s is, and the show suffers under the added weight of pretense. Wilson’s tangents lead us to places that barely fit under the established thematic umbrella and feel forced. On memory, Wilson’s adventure with the Mandela Effect turns from fascinating to boring as the truthers devolve into sketch characters, viewing simple spelling errors with magnifying glasses. “How to Cover Your Furniture” spends an upsettingly long amount of time with an anti-circumcision advocate as Wilson works through the question of how much we are allowed to change parts of other people. Meant to appear as if they effortlessly fell into place, these characters feel shoe-horned in.

Both characters and shows are performative authenticity, and Joe Pera and John Wilson’s whole deal is their status as observer. This year, many of us have become observers. I know I have: unemployed, unable to see people, watching death counts climb, sending money to various bail funds and rent relief to people and organizations near and far. There is a responsibility to being an observer. It is not some callous task. Being an effective observer means allowing your subject the space they need to be as they are and not foisting your own nonsense onto them.

In Joe Pera’s America, it’s understood that everyone is weird. By virtue of being human, we are all weird, off, we do confusing things, and say dumb stuff that doesn’t make sense. Even you’re a weird freak. John Wilson’s subjects seem like circus animals, squeezed in front of the camera for their fucked-up little flip. I can’t shake the feeling that John Wilson is making fun of the people he’s observing. Pera’s observations are rooted in the fairness that comes from seeing humanity in people-- every person has an equal chance of surprising you with how weird they are if you just make them comfortable and let them talk. We owe that to each other.

To be fair, these shows are also very different. Wilson’s found-footage, documentary style is ingenious, hilarious, and completely not the vibe that Pera and Co. are going for at all. And region here is everything. Wacky stuff happening in NYC? Eh, isn’t that par for the course over there? Wait, a show set in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? Ok...now that I’ve never seen. 

Obviously I was wrong about Isaac in Marquette, just as any broad assumption about a region and its people will be. I actually learned that Jews have a significant relationship to the U.P. And I found similarities between my own Jewish history, covering a similarly nebulous area of the Rust Belt/Midwest, and my U.P. cousins. Yes, home was closer than I thought, even across the length of Lake Michigan. Yes, people don’t just hate my guts. Yes, we can overcome lazy assumptions and we can even connect with people. We can make a better world. It just requires patience and listening.

Now, on to my thoughts regarding Fiona Apple’s landmark album Fetch the Bolt Cutters...

[renee-walker]

top 3 christmas songs, top 3 tv episodes, top 3 books you've read with your kids!

Woah, you are not playing! Mmmmmay, here we GO.

Top three Christmas songs (a list that would change if you asked me in five minutes, but see me here trying!):

Carly Simon, ‘The Night Before Christmas’

Vienna Teng, ‘The Atheist Christmas Carol’

(totally cheating tie) Emmylou Harris, ‘Light of the Stable’ / Elvis Presley, ‘The Wonderful World of Christmas’

Top three tv episodes (acknowledging that this is actually impossible and again the list would probably change if you asked me in five minutes):

BSG, ‘The Hub’ – I am nothing if not the world’s most hopeless shipper, and this episode was one of the greatest shipping payoffs I’ve ever had the joy of experiencing in my lifetime. The entire sequence where Bill steps out of the raptor to find Laura waiting for him owns a ridiculously large piece of my soul. I waited four seasons for her to be ready to accept his love, and that wait was worth every second to get this scene. Every look, every touch, every tiny little sobbing gasp – I have them all fucking memorized. And only Adama could respond to the love of his life’s very first “I love you” with “About time.” Iconic.

China Beach, ‘Hello Goodbye’ – I wonder if anyone who follows me even has a clue what I’m talking about here, but anyway I was a very weird teenager and this was one of my two favorite shows. I can’t really explain why it’s on my favorite episode list, save that clearly I love pain. By the time I was ¾ of the way through this ep (the first time I watched it), I was using commercial breaks to curl in a ball on the floor of my downstairs bathroom, sobbing so violently that I couldn’t really breathe. So few shows end with what feels like a satisfying emotional payoff for the viewer. This one covered pretty much every last base, and not even in some sappy, cliche, unearned way. Everything wasn’t fine, not by a long shot. But these people who had shared an experience that no one else would ever be able to understand had gotten together to help each other exorcise a few of their demons. And I got to be there for it.

TWD, ‘No Sanctuary’ – My relationship with this show is so complex now, but there will probably never be a more perfect episode starring the love of my fictional life, Carol Peletier. To see this character I’d loved since the second she appeared onscreen pull herself together after the horror of ‘The Grove’ and save the entire goddamn group … I just can’t words. And no matter how I feel about a lot of things, the pure joy on her face when Daryl hugs her at the end is something I will always hold so tightly that nobody could pry it away from me if they tried.

Top three books I’ve read with my kids:

Sam McBratney, Guess How Much I Love You. I don’t know how to tell my kids in words how much I love them, but this book was a good attempt.

J.K. Rowling, the Harry Potter series. Yep, I know it’s eight books but I’m a cheating cheater who cheats. My kids aren’t the generation who grew up waiting for the latest HP book, but omg, I’ve been through the entire series with both of them at least twice (and with S three times), and it’s just part of our family culture. 

Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time. Lmao, neither of them love this book as much as I do, but since the book is kind of a statement of how I view the world, it’s something I cherish sharing with them. 

OMG THOSE WERE SO MUCH FUN TO ASNWER. Thank you for the awesome questions!!!

ask me a sleepover saturday question

[countrymusicandcher]

Someone should let me interview Rufus, Martha or Loudon Wainwright and Anna or Jane McGarrigle. I promise it'd be the most entertaining thing you ever saw! I'd take it so far into stalker warning land it does a back flip and turns back over to devoted fan! 😂

(OBS: I'm not actually a stalker. Just a fan with a good memory!)

You could also let me loose on Emmylou Harris, which would be less entertaining but more fascinating and intresting. Because I have less specific questions and just generally want to give her all my goddamn love.