#goes outside to go potty

[corvidaequeer]

What's your pet's nightly routine?

[redux-iterum]

This isn't quite Warriors-related, but this is where my largest audience is, and y'all seem to like cats, so I have a query:

I'm getting a catio built outside my house, and while it'll have a roof, it'll be exposed to the elements by wire-chain walls. Does anyone have a recommendation of things I could put in the catio for my felines to enjoy that won't be ripped apart immediately by cold and wind and rain? I know I want to get them some cat-grass, but toys or items for them to relax on are priority as well.

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Love how my grandma and aunt have the audacity to be mad at me when the first thing she says when I wake up and leave my room is calling the dog a bitch for pissing on the rug and then wonder why I don't want to interact with them

[mephilver]

less than 1 hour of sleep tonight thank you dogs

[leonskittybunwriting]

Plot: Leon comes home from the war wounded and his dog comes with him and becomes his service dog too. 

Warnings: wounded Leon, war dog, also service dog. chubby reader. Emotional. smut (not detailed it was time skipped) 

A/N: I don't know resident evil characters, and I don't own resident evil!

Leon limps into the house with a groan and limps over his short chubby wife and wraps his arms around her waist causing her to giggle. 

You turn around in his arms and kiss his chin gently “How's your leg baby?” You ask him gently. 

Leon sighs and puts his forehead against yours and says softly “It hurts but being able to hold you and kiss you makes me happy.” 

A small bark I heard which causes Leon and You to look over at the dog that came home with Leon from the war and that dog that became Leon's service dog. 

“Rex, come here boy.” Leon calls.

Rex is a beautiful Australian cattle dog, his a dark blue with white spots patterns with one green eye and one blue eye. 

Rex walks over to him and Leon leans down, pets him gently and says “I got to go to the bathroom, stay here and protect my woman alright?” 

Rex gives a soft huff and nod before sitting next to you. 

You give a soft giggle at Rex before becoming worried “Baby wait, do you need help?”

Leon shakes his head with a smile and says “nah I got this baby.” You smile and nod before going back to cooking, giving Rex some raw meat now and then and smiles when Rex licks his chomps. 

After she puts everything on the baking sheet she throws it into the oven and puts the timer on and she sits on her knees in front of Rex who licks at her chin which causes her to giggle and pet him. 

“You're such a good boy” You whisper and kiss Rex’s head before getting back up. 

Leon limps into the kitchen and smiles at the sight “Did you spoil him baby?”  

You blush and say softly “always.” Leon shakes his head and limps over to her and gently rubs her stomach and he whispers in her ear “Our little one is growing isn't he?” 

You blush and nod “Yes he is, just like his daddy.” Leon smiles and looks over at Rex and says “Go potty, Rex.” 

Rex gives a bark before going over to the doggy dog and goes out into the backyard. 

You and Leon watch Rex go to the bathroom and play outside for awhile before You get his dog food and water ready for him. 

Once you fill up the bowls, Leon gets the bowls and puts them on the floor by the table and calls Rex in as You set the table. 

Rex starts to eat at the same time as you and Leon do. 

After Rex ate and drank all his food and water he lay down by Leon's feet and looked up at You as you ate your food. 

Leon watches as you slowly eat your food and he asks softly “You okay baby?” 

You blink a little and nod and whisper “y-yeah i'm just so exhausted and tired.” 

Leon nods and says “Cooking a baby will do that, go lay down baby.”

You nod and get up and walk to the bedroom and crawl into the bed and cuddle one of the blankets. 

After about a few seconds Rex and Leon join her. 

Leon wraps his arms around her waist and whispers “what's wrong baby?” 

You shake your head as you start to cry and Leon coos at you and cups your face “hey hey, baby it's okay I'm here.” He whispers kissing your face and neck gently. 

You start kiss him gently and Leon kisses you back before pulling back and says “Rex go wait in the hall until we're done.” 

Rex barks and huffs before going out into the hallway. 

2 hours later

Leon huffs as he lays on top of you as he holds you close and he whispers “you feel so good baby.” 

you blush panting softly and look up at him his face was so sweaty and his hair stuck to his face “I'm glad I feel good for you baby.”

Leon chuckles and kisses your lips gently holding you close and nuzzles you and calls for Rex “come here boy.” 

Rex runs into the bedroom and lays on the bed and stares at them both. 

Leon chuckles and says “do you think he knows?” You giggle and say softly “yeah I think so, he's pretty smart.” 

Leon chuckles and says “yeah you're right.” He leans down and kisses your lips gently holding you close, gripping your naked hips and he whispers “How are you feeling?” 

You nuzzle him a little and whisper “I'm feeling better, I think I just needed you to hold me and make love to me.” 

Leon smiles and kisses her face gently and he whispers “If you need me to make love to you in the future let me know and I'll come limping.” He chuckles softly at his own joke. 

You shake your head at his joke and smile a little before whispering “I love your limps.” Leon chuckles and says “You know when I got wounded my captain said that chicks love men who can barely walk or have a limp and I told him I was married and he told me that that's even better.” 

You blush and kiss his lips gently and whisper “To me you're the same Leon that dumped coffee on me on the first day we meant.” 

Leon tears up slightly and kisses your lips gently, holding you close “thank you, baby.” 

[darkbluekies]

Do we actually know what happens in the basement? Or did I miss it somewhere?It sounds terrfying but I can’t seem to find or remeber what happens in it

I haven't exactly written what goes on in the basement, but from a few oneshots etc, you can piece together that there are probably a lot of isolation, starvation, mental manipulation and physical things. I want/plan to make a one-shot where yn is in the basement after doing something they shouldn't:)

Examples/times the basement is mentioned to get a better understanding of just how bad it can be (with links in case you want to read the stories<3):

Best for you:

You messed up badly. You should not have tried to escape. Look where you ended up — in the darkest corner of his basement with your ankles chained to the stone floor. Reduced to nothing more than a dog.

You're not sure how long you've been down here, but you've been given the opportunity to use the degrading potty four times by now by rough, evil men. Or was it more?

You press yourself closer to the wall, wishing nothing else than to melt into it and disappear. 

"No, no, no, shh, it's okay", he says quickly. "I'm not going to hurt you anymore. Everything is over. I'm here to help."

You doubt that.

His hand comes up to massage your roots. All of these actions are so soft and after being chained up in this cold, hard and unforgiving basement, you can't do anything else but slowly relax.

The witty and uncanny part 1

Resting now might be crucial in case Silas decides to find you again. Otherwise you might be too vulnerable for Silas's harsh manipulation. You won’t survive the basement if you’re not rested up.

Intruder part 2

The chains around your wrists, ankles and throat kep you in place. Like a filthy dog. You start to feel less and less human and more like an animal for every day that passes by. You remind yourself of your name, your background and your family to avoid going insane. But maybe that's what he wants? He wants you dumb and dusted for him so you won't try to escape. Maybe he wants you to be a blank canvas that only he can paint in whatever color and shapes he wants. Maybe he wants to mold your brain into his perfect servant. Someone that does everything he wants at the blink of an eye.

Can't hide from me

Every motion is quiet and terrified. You’re horrified you’ll turn around and see him stand right behind you with his death glare, ready to throw you back into the basement. You’d rather die than end up there again. You don’t think you can take another day, week or month in the basement. To be fair, you never know how long you’re down there. One time you entered when the snow was falling outside and came out when the first flowers bloomed.

“Listen, baby, you have two choices. Either, you come with me like a good little pet and don’t cause trouble. That way, your punishment will be much lighter. Or, you can continue to act like a brat and I’ll knock you unconscious and throw you into the basement until you grow mold. What do you say? Are you going to behave?”

[faghubby]

kinky marriage

"Please don't stop, fuck me" Paul moaned. I grew tired and pulled my strapon out of his ass.

"I'm tired sweety. Do you want to ride it?" I asked. I rolled on my back and Paul jumped up and his cock swallowed my toy easily. He rode my toy for another 5 minutes before his cock Leaked cum all over my stomach.

Paul rolled over and laid next to me.

"Paul should I get you a bigger cock" I asked mostly teasing.

"I love your cock baby" Paul said

"I know but would you want to try a thicker one?" I teased his soft dick. He fell silent.

"Okay lazy bones get up" I told him pushing him off the bed. He grabbed his underwear and raced off the the bathroom. He always did this his hole stretched out he felt like he had to potty. When he came out I was already dressed. And fixing my hair. I pinched his butt.

"No panties bitch boy" I teased. He made a look he hated when I teased him about being girlie. Just because he liked to get pegged." He got dressed and came out to the kitchen. Where he saw Teresa sitting there waiting.

"Wow you guys are very vocal" she laughed. Teresa and I were life long friends. She also lived just across the street.

"Who let you in?" Paul said annoyed. I came up behind him and gropped his sore ass. He fell silent, not sure if was to stop from moaning or just not to upset me.

"Relax stud muffin, Kelly told me about your kink months ago. She didn't tell me how much you begged for it" Teresa could be a total bitch.

"TEE!" I scolded. Paul looked at me annoyed but we would talk about it later he knew Tee would take my side and two against one. Paul stormed out.

"Think he be in a better mood after getting railed. You never told me how vocal he is" Teresa laughed.

"Stop" I laughed softly. Checking to see if Paul was still in ear shot. I changed the subject and poured Teresa a glass of wine. We heard Tom go outside.

"This all started because you refused to suck his cock?" Teresa asked.

"Why are you so obsessed with this?" I shot back. Teresa looked at me like I was crazy.

"Okay, yeah I don't like to suck cock. So I told him I would do anything else. He beat around the bushes a bit but then confessed what he wanted. So once a month I peg him." I explained

"Does he fuck you?" She asked.

"Of course" I responded confused

"I mean in the ass?" Teresa clarified

"A few times, but no not really" I told her.

"And you only cum when he goes down on you?" She said. I had told her this before.

"I'm not telling you anything anymore" I told her.

"What if I let you fuck me with your strap on" Teresa asked

"You need a bigger one slut" I shot back. We had a few more glasses of wine.

"Please don't tease Paul anymore" I asked her she agreed. But then said

"Maybe I should just suck his cock" she burst out laughing.

"You need a bigger one" I said without thinking. We both burst out laughing. Paul came back in and we ordered a pizza. Teresa was nice and stopped teasing him. After we ate Teresa went home. I walked straight up to Paul and grabbed his ass.

"Do you want a round two?" I teased. We never did the pegging thing but once a month. Paul looked at me with surprise in his eyes.

"You don't mind" he said almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud.

"Baby, I would fuck you everyday if that's what you want" I said running my hand across his face then kissing him. I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. The toy was on the sink in the bathroom. Paul grabbed it and for the first time helped me put it on. Tighting the straps. He was on his knees as he did. He leaned forward and kissed the tip of the toy. I didn't do anything I just watched. I had been careful to choose a toy that didn't look like a penis. I leaned forward a bit. The toy slid across his cheek. I cupped his face with my hand he looked up at me. I looked at him trusting to tell him it was okay if her wanted. I positioned the toy at his lips he parted his lips. I just smiled.

He leaned forward and took it in his mouth. I let him explore I didn't do anything but stand there. I ran my hand thru his hair. His eyes closed I watched as he sucked my fake cock. I started to move my hips. He toke more of the toy. Soon he was sucking all 5 inches.

I was so turned on I could feel my juices flowing. Paul was definitely enjoying what he was doing. I lifted my foot and ran it across the bulge in his pants. As I did Paul's body jerked he stopped sucking and grabbed my legs as he moaned and wimpered. He had just cum in his pants I thought. Paul recovered and looked at me embarrassed. I kneeled down.

"It's okay sweety" I said hugging him.

"You won't tell" he said almost in tears.

"I swear not a word" I told him. Helped him up and took him to the bathroom. I undressed him. He blushed when I pulled off his cum filled panties.

"Julie I'm sorry" he whispered, I kissed him he stood naked before me. I felt powerful having him so vulnerable. I helped him into the tub. He sank down into the perfumed water.

"Have you ever done anything like that before?" I asked as I washed his chest with a washcloth. "With a boy?"

I reached down and grabbed his dick. I massaged his soft penis.

"No, I just " he started but fell silent.

"Paul, your in a safe space" I assured him. His penis got hard again he never got hard this fast after cumming.

"Scoot up on the edge of the tub" I told him, he lifted himself and I stroked his dick. I leaned forward and took his penis in my mouth before I even closed my mouth he pumped his load into my mouth. I swallowed. Paul leaned forward and kissed me. He must of tasted his own cum. Paul slipped back into the tub. I left him alone. I was in bed when Paul got out of the tub. He came in wrapped in just a towel.

"Come you can sleep naked" I said pulling back the covers. Paul crawled into bed, he tried to initiate sex.

"Paul I am still on my period" I told him. I didn't like sex during my period. Which is why I usually picked this week to peg him. But I had gotten such a thrill out of him being naked before me. And sucking my toy. I reached over and grabbed his dick he was soft.

"I just want to make you happy" he moaned.

"You do baby" I assured him. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked rolling over to face him.

"Greg" he mumbled.

"What about him?" I asked . Greg was his long term friend since they where kids, he was the best man at out wedding.

"When we where in 9th grade" he said. Letting me fill in the blanks.

"You sucked his cock. Well everyone experiments?" I held him tight for being brave and telling me. Paul looked at me as if he was about to cry.

"It went on for awhile" he tried to open up. I just kissed him again.

"For over a year. Till we both got girlfriends" he spit out I could see the relief on his face. Telling his biggest secret.

"Thank you for telling me. Baby" I cuddled even closer to him.

"Your not mad?" He said as if he was free.

"No, sweety I love you and am glad you told me" we can talk more about it tomorrow if you like. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the morning I woke to Paul penis Rick hard poking me in the thigh. I smiled I had unlocked something he was never like this. I mean sure wake up with morning wood but not after last night. I rolled over and stroked him. He roused.

"How you felling this morning" I smiled as I teased his dick. He stretched and kissed me. I stopped and got up heading to the shower. Paul followed. He washed my back. He rubbed my breasts but I made him stop. They where tender. He was aroused the whole time.

"Should I put my cock back on?" I asked. He looked worried he wanted it his body told me he did. But he was afraid to ask for it. I got out of the shower, I let him finish up as I put my cock back on again. I stood wearing just panties and the strapon when he got out of the shower. I didn't say a word I just pushed him over the sink. My lubed toy slid in easy. His ass was so well trained. We needed a bigger one. I fucked him hard and fast as he shivered as water dripped off of him. I was relentless. I gave him everything I had my thighs and abs burned before I stopped. I had not even noticed he had already cum in the sink and was just letting me abuse his ass.

A few days later my period over I came home from work and dragged Paul to the bedroom. I was naked in seconds and laid on the bed I was so horny. I pushed his head between my legs. He slowly teased me he was driving me crazy. But he knew exactly how to ,ale me cum with his talented tounge. I bucked and jerked as he made me cum. Multiple orgasms spammed thru me. He held me down in order to keep pleasing me. He finally stooped I tried to catch my breath as he climbed on top of me.

"What are you doing?" I teased. As he tried to put his dick inside me.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I was thinking that there should only be one cock in this relationship" I told him biting his nipple playfully. "And since you like mine way more then I like yours" I teased. I reached down between us and stroked his little dick with two and my fingers and my thumb. He moaned.

"Lay on your back" I told him he rolled off of me his hands at his sides. I stroked him softly and slowly.

"Which do you like more eating my pussy or sucking my cock?" I giggled.

"Your pussy baby" he said breathing heavy.

"But my pussy grosses you out a whole week every month" I reminded him. I rubbed his hard nipples.

"I would love to see you suck a real cock baby" I told him. He just moaned and tried to push against my hand to get more stimulation.

"If I let you cum in my pussy would you lick me clean?" I asked. Again he just tried to fuck my hand. I stopped and spread his legs and teased his hole.

"This is what you really want isn't it?" I teased he moaned even louder. I stopped only long enough to grab a bag fm under the bed. I applied lube to the toy in the bag. Paul just stared at the ceiling i held the new toy to his ass. He loomed up at me with surprise. I didn't wait for him to say anything I pushed it into him. He grunted, started to whin but then moaned as the toy hit his prostate.

The new cock was twice as thick as the previous one I could just touch my fingers as I wrapped them around it and it was 8 incertable. Paul lifted his ass off the bed as I worked the toy in further and further

"FUCK ME!" he screamed. As he came his dick soft. But cum poured out of it, not shoot just dribbled. I had never seen him cum so much ever. I caught some with my free hand and bought it to his open gasping mouth. I just poured about a tea spoon of his cum into his mouth. He tried to complain but I worked the toy and he just gasped and moaned more. I scooped up more of his cum and stuck my fingers in his mouth. He started to suck on them.

"You are such a cock whore" I told him. His penis now totally deflatedand drained just sank almost completelyinto him. His balls tight up against him as well. I removed the new toy from his slutty ass.

"I got you something else. I thought it would be fun to try. But they say you should shave first" I told him pulling out a clean plastic chastity cage. I fiddled with it but you could just pull it right off of him. I was disappointed but when I got up to get dressed I picked uo my dirty panties. Paul was still lying on the bed. I started to put them on him.

"Since I have shown I have the big cock in the relationship maybe you should start wearing thr panties" I told him he didn't resist even lifted his butt so I could slid them in place. They where white brief style panties with little butterflies on them and a wide lace border. He looked so adorable as he made only the slightest bulge in them. I left him to change the sheets and clean the dildo. As I went to start dinner. Paul was wearing basketball shorts when he emerged about 20 minutes later. He also was walking a bit stiff.

"You didn't change did you?" I asked pulling his basketball shorts to see him still in my panties. I started fucking Paul at least twice a week with our new toy. I had put it in my harness and lived to peg his ass with my strapon. But I also made him suck my big toy as well. He learned quickly how to take 6 inches of it down his throat. The last two inches he struggled with until I just rammed them down his throat. I would then have Paul go down on me. Even coating my cunt with his cum first. It had been weeks since he had been inside of me.

"I think you should shave your pussy for me. Like I shave mine" I told him one night as I pushed his head down between my thighs. He just nodded. I was a bit surprised after he had finished pleasing me he got up and filled the tub. I went to see what he was up to only to find him trying to shave his ass. I laughed a little then took the razor and helped him. But I didn't stop at his ass. I trimmed. Then shaved off all his pubic hair. I did that silly strip up to his belly as well. And down to his knees.

"Go put on a pair of my panties" I told him. He had only worn them that one time. But now he seemed much more submissive to whatever I wanted. He did exactly as I asked. Showing me the lilac panties he had picked. Simple cotton briefs but he looked so cute in them. In the morning he went to change.

"You should wear a pair of the bikini style less likely any one will see them peaking out of your jeans" I told him. He looked stunned. Then put his boxer briefs away and picked out a yellow bikini style panties from my drawer. I was actually surprised he put them on. Then finished getting dressed. Before he rushed off to work. I had some time and pulled out my vibrator and masterbated thinking about Paul getting caught and sucking off his boss.

As I pleasured myself I realized I had not been fucked in a month. I shoved the toy deep, I needed to get fucked not by Paul and his little worm. No I like Paul needed a big cock to satisfy me. I came hard before I went to shower. My head in the clouds the rest of the day as I imagined everyone I saw taking me. Fucking me. Not just the men either but the ladies as well. I wanted to finger myself as I thought about my assistant bending me over my desk and fucking me with a huge toy as she called me dirty names.

I wanted to be someone's whore!

"I want you to find a cage that will stay on your clitty. Since we aren't going to use it anymore" I texted Paul. He didn't respond.

I spent most of the afternoon reading about cuckolding your husband. I wondered if Paul would let me fuck a big black man. I rushed home and was making Paul's favorite recipe for dinner.

"Smells great" he told me kissing me. He then showed me his phone. He had picked out and purchased a tiny stainless steel cage. It was less then an inch long.

"Paul, do you want a man to fuxk you?" I asked completely serious. He looked nervous. I knew it was a no, but he wasn't sure.

"How would you feel if I found another man a well hung man to fuck me?" I asked. He again looked worried.

"I have been feeling" I started " no, its more I need someone to dominate me. Like i dominate you, " I told him. I saw him getting hard in his pants I undid his belt and reached down rubbing his penis thru the panties. I then stopped pulled his pants down to his knees and dropped taking him in my mouth he didn't last a minute before he filled my mouth with his seed. I stood and kissed him feeding him every drop.

"I am going to Cuckold you, find a real cock to service me. You can eat their cum from my used stretch cunt" I told him. He just lowered his eyes. "That is the last time you cum like a man" I told him. I put a rush on the cage.

That night I had Paul take pics of me to post on tinder and some other sites. As is et up dating profiles. Some I said I was single others I openly asked for them to Cuckold my husband.

I got a message from a man with in an hour asking questions . I was honest explaining what I was looking for. He sent me first a pic of his face then of him dressed and after an hour of going back and forth we exchanged pics of us each naked. Paul was so turned on he crawled between my legs and started to eat my pussy. As I texted another man. I showed Paul the pic of his cock it was thick. And he claimed 7 inches. He lived nearly 50 miles away though. We text for a few days. Before he told me he wanted to drive out and meet me this weekend. We made plans agreed Paul shouldn't watch at least not the first time. So I made arrangements for Paul to have a guys night out while I entertained my guest.

Frank arrived just after Paul left. He wasted no time. I was naked on my knees in two minutes of his arrival. He was taller and heavier then Paul at 6' 210. His cock was indeed thick I barely could get my lips around it. But so wanted to. He bent me over and drove his cock deep inside me, as he slowly fucked me his finger teased my ass. I didn't say anything so he got more bold. And soon as his finger inside my ass. I handed him lube. I now had it all over the bedroom. Since I fucked Paul so much. He continued to fuck me as he worked his fingers in and out of my ass. Adding another then another.

I was soon cumming all over his big thick cock. But he wasn't done. He filled me onto the bed and with my one leg on his shoulder drove his cock into me hard. I came a second time before he pumped his load deep into me. I laid there spent as he got a drink. He came back and offered me his soft cock. I leaned forward and took it in my mouth he quickly grew hard again. I was in awe, he was a fucking machine. He applied lube to my ass. He was going to fuck my little ass with that thick monster. I screamed into my pillow as he pushed the head in. He then waited letting me become adjusted to it. He went slow and gently as he worked his cock more and more into my ass. But soon I was moaning and begging for more. Till he filled my ass with his cum as well. When Paul returned I was naked cum leaking from both my ass and pussy. As I laid in bed. frank long gone. I made Paul lick this man's seed out of me. He even ran his tounge across my asshole.

I then locked him in his new cage and had him put on the tiniest lace pink thong. I took a long bath as Paul changed the sheets.

Was hooked but so was Paul. I found myself at least once a week meeting a man just for uncomfortable sex. Some of them learned I was as submissive as Paul probably and would use me however they wished. Even sharing me with a friend. Or spanking me, tying me up, blindfolded me, I was game for anything. Even when one guy shared me with his wife. I didn't return home til, the next afternoon. Paul loved to hear about what I had done, but didn't want to watch instead stayed home and waited for my return. Hoping I would peg him.

Till one night I bought two men home. I told Paul they where for him. At first he was scared but they took him. I watched as he sucked them both. One fucked him as the other shoved his cock down Paul throat.

After that Paul agreed to anything. And was soon completely free of any body hair, wore only the sexiest of panties 24/7. And slept in satin nighties. On vacation he would even wear a skimpy bikini to the beach if I told him too. It was hard to keep everything a complete secret and soon a few friends found out. Kelly and I had sex while Paul was allowed to watch. And both of us watched as Paul relived his youth by sucking his friend Greg's cock as Kelly and I watched. Then Greg Kelly and I had a threesome while Paul wore a dress a did the dishes. It's been 5 years since I locked Paul in permanent chastity. And as my anniversary gift to him I am going to run a train on his ass. I hope he loves it as much as I would.

[stormbreaker101]

You have unlimited resources and time to prepare a prank on one random adult person. Your task is to make the prank sucessful, meaning: making the person genuinely laugh. What will the prank look like? (If you can't come up with anything now, come back later. I do not accept "idk" answers.)/@i-send-you-random-asks

I would pretend send them to Mars.

Ever since 7th and 8th grade, my teacher and I had this inside joke that I would become a super successful scientist and help him become the first human on Mars. I first designed this prank with him in mind but come on, who WOULDN'T want to go to Mars at the low low cost of it being a funky prank?

Do you know that one video where it's like, a person goes into a porta potty outside and then a bunch of people build a small office room around it so when the person in the porta potty is finished, they step out into what looks like a corporate meeting instead of just going back outside?

I'd do something similar. Hold on let me draw some schematics.

so the gray building in the center would be a mock spaceship, fitted with one of those rollercoaster simulator type rides. the ones with the real gyroscopic capabilities to make you feel like you're going on all the twists and turns of a coaster without actually having to get on a coaster. Not VR. I can't fucking find an image of what Im talking about sadly.

The ground (green) would be either realistic fake turf or a thin layer of dirt and grass on top of a removable plastic tarp, and there would be giant fucking fans (the dark gray cylinders) underneath.

Anyway, while the person is in the building getting "suited up" and going thru the mock flight, a crew comes and removes the fake ground, and puts an air-permeable but realistic-ish cover over the ground so that our prankee isn't aware they're walking on fans. Add some realistic rocks and a large round plexiglass wall and badabing badaboom you have discount Mars on Earth!

The fans are there because Mars's gravity is only about 1/3 the strength of Earth's, so you need an upward force (the white arrows) to partially counter Earth's gravity and make it feel lesser. It'd be like like those indoor skydiving facilities but the fans aren't SO powerful that they fully match Earth's gravity

Ideally this prank would be done somewhere that is sorta feasibly like Mars on Earth. Wadi Rum, Jordan comes to mind because that's where they filmed The Martian (aka that film where the guy survives on the surface of Mars by consisting solely on potatoes i think). Otherwise instead of plexiglass walls you'd need a REALLY convincing panoramic landscape of Mars painted on the walls.

[zooophagous]

With dog training, do you know if there's a recommended amount of time to wait between things so the dog doesn't associate them? Like if the dog does action A, and I need to do action B afterwards, but I don't want her to associate them as cause/effect?

I'm not sure if there's a specific interval, I think it depends on the individual dog and how far ahead they're able to think and how easy it is to break their focus.

One example is your dog is being walked, and when he does his business you immediately end the walk and go home because all you needed was for him to go potty. But now he knows as soon as he goes potty the walk ends, so he holds it as long as he can.

In that instance, I add an objective between "go potty" and "go home." So instead of immediately going home I give the dog a treat for appropriate pottying outside (my particular dog Egon regresses in potty training easily) and walk to a landmark such as a tree or hydrant before turning around and walking home.

These little extra steps help break the association with going potty and the walk ending. I also feed my dogs after walking so they have something to look forward to and not just thinking "I don't want to go back inside."

Tuunbaq fixates more than Egon and has quite a bit more drive, so I'll usually break his concentration with something that requires more brain power, like practicing a down stay and a few tricks before calling it quits.

Generally dogs build associations in pretty brief intervals so the longer you can stall that interval, the better chance you have of breaking the association.

I'm not a dog trainer or behaviorist by any means, so this is just coming from what I've picked up via observation with my own personal dogs. Your dog may be easier or harder than mine and it will take some observations on your part to determine where they land.

[thecarrionwitch]

PSA to You Witches

The home you live in is to be protected at all cost. I thank Lord Lucifer for letting me know such and reminding me of it because I have these neighbors and they are all their FIFTH strike with me.

Let me list them:

Their dog which is a big dog was loose one good time running up and down the street and I had to tell em. This dog can be heard barking at mine when my lil dog goes outside to potty.

Today I found DOG REPELLENT in my front yard and when I went to check my fencing it was OPEN. not fully but enough for someone to pull on it and open it.

They tossed a two over my fence to get my dogs attention. One I'll be keeping for a specific curse for them.

They don't respect my yard because I had to go to the hospital yesterday and came back in a car that was THEIRS was in MY yard??

They are just destructive and loud and I hate not being able to have a peaceful moment because of all the noise.

As a dark witch, the dog repellent on its own is enough for me to ruin they whole life so it's not an issue to me. Y'all wanna play, imma play harder but don't be crying and whining when all hell breaks loose.

There was actually another time of one of their kids leaving basketballs in my yard and I told em to pick it up. Either way I'm sick of it and imma show em something.

I'm not a nice witch, I'm not a white one either, mess with my peace and imma ruin your whole outlook on your own. IDC and IDGAF.

I have five good spells I worked up last night and when the planets are aligned as I want them imma start but I'm literally irritated and mad. There's no forgiveness here for them.

(likes and comments are nice hehe)

For engagement lemme put this here

[naffeclipse]

It's like??? 8? Degrees fahrenheit outside, and in my t shirt pajamas standing with the door open waiting for my puppy to go potty and yk cold doesn't feel nice, so my half asleep brain just goes "omg, it's JUST like apex polarity!"

Just like AP! I love that the cold makes you think of it--it's always on my brain and seeing ice or orcas makes me think of the fishy guy

[playroom-sekaii]

for the ageredips thing…13 14 and 19 for Toya?? He’s my little baby I love him

Of course!! ^w^

13. Have they ever had a daytime accident? Very often unfortunately, his CGs realized he needed diaps very quickly after he began regressing. Due to some trauma from his father he often feels terrified to tell them if he needs to go, and even outside of that he has a very low age range (0-3) making it hard to tell sometimes, so diaps are basically a requirement whenever he's small. He doesn't mind it all too much though, he's a bit embarrassed but he knows they're a necessity. (I also feel like he's come very close while not regressed for similar trauma reasons but that's another story for another day.)

14. Do they wet the bed? Relatively frequently when small, he's just too little! Protection during naps and bedtime while little, no exceptions, not that he'd fight it anyways, the thought of his CGs (or god forbid his family should he be at home) finding him with wet sheets terrifies him. Of course, sometimes he goes to bed big and wakes up little to a wet bed, but his caregivers are always there to reassure him that it's alright and not his fault and to help him clean up <3

19. How do their CGs feel about the little one wearing diapers? They're all very alright with it, they help their baby blue stay dry and sometimes help him feel smaller, they're nothing to be ashamed of! Toya was very nervous about telling the rest of VBS, but they were chill with it, and are always willing to remind him to go potty or change him should he need it (Kohane's a bit shy with changing him though, so she usually leaves that up to Akito or An, boundaries are important after all!). The Tenma siblings and the Street Sekai Virtual Singers are always very alright with it, each having a separate stash of diaps and changing supplies alongside Toya's other little gear (Tsukasa and Saki have it hidden in a guest room where Toya often spends the nights, and the vocaloids keep it in the back of the Crase Café).

[doberbutts]

I've heard that chihuahuas are hard to potty train, did you find this to be the case with your girls?

Hmm. Both yes and no.

To start off I will say a significant amount of the problems I have had are because I refuse to do the potty pad thing. Poop goes outside and that is non-negotiable. I'm not teaching my dogs that it's acceptable to go in the house. The rest are because Tater is somewhat incontinent due to her CM/SM.

Fae is perfectly capable of being potty trained. This comes with somewhat of an asterisk because if it is cold, raining, or snowing, she will do her absolute damnedest to not go outside and will do it in the house. Usually under my bed, which caused her to be evicted from my room during the winter months. She also can't hold it if she is out of her crate for longer than about 6 hours, but can hold it if she's in her crate through my work day or overnight. She also can hold it if she's sleeping in bed with me but not if she's been left on the floor overnight. She's weird.

That being said, during the period that I had a pad out for Tater when she was first diagnosed, Fae would make sure to go on the pad, so this problem would literally resolve overnight if I just provided a pad for them to use if they needed one. The chihuahuas are both poop eaters and also Fae will shred a pad she can access so not only do I not want to teach them that it's okay to potty in the house but it also creates new problems I don't want to deal with.

Tater was very similar to Fae before her CM caused a bunch of neurological issues including both fecal and urinary incontinence. With medication, that for the most part has stopped, though she does still occasionally leak in her sleep as I will start to smell urine on the blankets in their crate if I don't wash them regularly. Again she doesn't seem to do it if she's sleeping in bed with me, so I don't know if it's a comfort thing or what. While she was incontinent she would try her best to hit the pad - I'd usually find a trail leading from her bed to the pad and back. So she did want to go on the pad, she just had some mechanical malfunctions.

Keeping all this in mind, I also want to say that the most annoying to potty train dog in my house would be Sushi. If GSMD have one serious fault as a breed it is that they are notoriously difficult to housebreak. I had at least weekly full bladder releases in the house from Sushi until she was over a year old. She would pee while just walking around in my house, not even stopping to squat, so there would be a piss river all over my floor. I probably bought half the company's stock of nature's miracle during this time. Swissies are known for being incredibly incredibly dirty in this aspect and unfortunately Sushi was no exception. It's something that makes me a little reluctant to get another, if only because I got really tired of urine everywhere really, really fast. I could get another chihuahua just as annoying about going outside as my two, and I'd rather that over dealing with 100lb dog piss rivers again.

[fayeandknight]

This post is about teaching potty on cue for dogs.

Tagging @ringchollyandfriends

Potty on cue is one of the first things I teach, but it's still applicable to older dogs. I used a mark and reward method for this.

Things you need: a clear marker that means the dog did the right thing and will get paid for it and something the dogs finds valuable as a reward.

For a marker I use both a clicker and the word yes. These are paid 100% of the time. If you already have marker you use great. If not, take a few training reps to condition it. Easiest way is to have the dog do something simple they already know how to do and introduce the marker that way. For example cue the dog to sit, mark, and reward. Rinse and repeat until the dog understands the marker.

Start with times you know your dog is most likely to go to the bathroom when taken outside. When they go mark and reward. Do this consistently until you feel the dog understands that going to the bathroom outside is what's being rewarded.

Name your cue. I personally use "potty" but it can be whatever you want. Right before they are about to go say the cue. When they go, mark and reward. Again, consistency is key. How long you do this depends on the dog and how fast they pair the verbal cue with the action.

Next put it on cue. I typically do this by taking the dog when they most likely need to go, but not urgently. I say the cue while they're sniffing but not having displayed literal about to go signs. As soon as they go, mark and reward. In the beginning I give a lead time and so may wait a few minutes for them to go after being given the cue. If I've given the cue and they don't go within a reasonable time, we go back inside and the dog goes in the crate or a confined area I know they won't have an accident in. Wait five minutes, then bring them back out and cue again.

Once they have it on cue I use it to make sure the dog relieves themself before going into a space I definitely don't want them going to the bathroom. For instance if we're going into a building I'll have the dog go right before we enter.

The other thing I do, specifically for males who pee multiple times before being empty, is give them ample time to sniff and go outside. I also watch them carefully for signs that they are looking to go again and hustle them outside. This builds a history of them knowing I'm going to take them out to go.

For example - I get to agility class fifteen minutes early and let Forte sniff around, pee on everything (within reason) and poop before going inside to class. After his first run we go back outside so he can pee again. There are times when we run twice in a row so he's technically not going outside after his first run. But he is conditioned to know that he'll taken outside once we leave the ring. This has lead to no marking or inappropriate peeing in the ring, even when another dog does it in the run before us or he runs after a BIS has been on the course.

Hopefully this is helpful. Feel free to ask questions.

[butch-reidentified]

if yall haven't heard, we in south FL experienced ONCE IN FIVE THOUSAND YEARS rain this week, with it coming to a head today.

My wife's parents live 15 minutes away in her childhood home. It is flooded with 20 inches of water. Their home, their furniture, their stuff, lots of her and some of my stuff, all of it that they couldn't easily and quickly place up high is destroyed. Both of their cars are ruined, and floated down the street on top. They are in their 70s - and my MIL has terrible chronic pain in her hips - and by the end of this, they will have spent about 24 hours crouched in a bathtub. No one can rescue them as of now.

We are lucky. Our home is 14 inches elevated off the street. Our area flooded 14 inches. The rain stopped as the water was against the walls of the part of our house that was built later by the previous owner as an extension to the original - the part we use as a living room and literally just yesterday finished painting and decorating. Our back yard is a lake. We can't let the dogs out so they have to go potty inside. We can't go anywhere and no one can get to us, because the street is completely flooded.

There was life-threatening flash flooding of biblical proportion and tornados.

No one saw this coming. No one warned us.

This is a video my best friend sent me from a friend of hers. Her car is flooded, destroyed, so even when the flood goes down she's going to have to deal with that. The roof has partially collapsed and the building is flooded completely.

I'm posting because I have a feeling nobody's going to hear a word about this from the news.

Again, this is a once in FIVE FUCKING THOUSAND YEARS occurrence. And it's expected to rain again tomorrow.

Photos taken only after the floods receded enough that I could remove the towels and duct tape from my doors and go outside.

Edit: Sorry, it seems that meteorologist was wrong. Apparently it's only once in 1000-2000 years 😐

[fruitcoops]

i just reread "big head" and laughed my ass off, will you do another ego award one pretty pleeeeeaseee? (only if you want of course :))

One of my favorites! Character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

(Part 1: Big Head)

“The 2022-2023 hockey season has officially wrapped,” Talker announced as he walked backward down the hallway of Gryffindor Arena. “This team had a run for the history books and everyone is so proud—and so grateful—to have such outstanding fans there with us every step of the way. We truly could not have done it without you.

“As a ‘thank you’ for everything you’ve done for us this year, we’d like to continue a very special end-of-season tradition: the Ego Award. Some of you may recall our reigning champion, Heartthrob O’Hara himself, and his fabulously embarrassing stories from last year.” He paused just outside the locker room with a significant look toward the camera. “Those may be big shoes to fill, but rest assured we have found the one person who can literally and figuratively get the job done. Behold.”

He swept the door open with one hand and chaos spilled out in a rush.

“Read it! Read it! Read it!” half the room chanted.

“Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!” the other half cheered.

“I can’t,” came Leo’s distressed answer, red all the way from his ears to his neck as he gripped a wrinkled piece of notebook paper. “You guys, this is such a—”

“Gentlemen!” The room fell silent as Talker spread his arms with a wide smile. “Welcome to the 2023 Ego Award, hosted by yours truly and bestowed upon our sweet baby net angel, the Nutcracker.”

“It’s Knut,” Leo said miserably. “Like the lizard.”

“Hush, Crunchy Peanut Butter. Do you have your punishment prepared?”

Leo turned baleful eyes on the camera. He looked rather like a puppy that had been put outside in the rain, hunched in his stall and surrounded by his carrion-bird teammates. “Save me.”

“Saviors are for the humble. You, sir, were voted off that island. Read.”

“Oh, god,” Leo mumbled under his breath as he unfolded the paper. In the corner of the frame, Finn watched him with unhindered glee. “My name is Leo Knut, and these are my top five most humbling moments with the Gryffindor Lions. Because clearly I don’t suffer enough for this team.”

“Keep that up and you’re getting the Potty Mouth Award, too,” Talker warned.

“You can’t—” Leo rolled his eyes. “Fine. Number five: trying to drink out of the wrong side of my waterbottle.”

“How many times?” Finn prompted eagerly.

“Once.”

A chorus of protests rose up—Leo pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Nine times. Shut up. Number four: losing a kitten in my shirt when we had a shelter visit."

"Two kittens," Sirius corrected. "One went up your pant leg."

"Oh my god, can you not?"

“That one was delightful,” Kasey agreed, nodding along. “Just—honestly, one of my favorite memories.”

Leo smoothed the edge of the page, nose wrinkling like he had smelled something unpleasant. “Is it too late to eat the paper?”

Remus tsked. “We gave you a chance. Not our fault you chose the most painful path.”

A rogue socked foot came into frame and poked Leo on the shin. “Read, Butterball.”

“Number three,” Leo continued, tilting his face to the ceiling in a clear bid for strength. “Getting stuck jumping the boards, falling back onto the ice, slipping when I got up again, and only making it over successfully with the help of two different people dragging me over the edge.”

“Like hauling a bag of bricks,” Logan mused from his place on the floor.

Dumo nodded solemnly. “Or a dead bear.”

“Slip a disc about it, Grandpa,” Leo quipped before glancing to Talker. “If I read the next one without eating this paper, can I skip the last one?”

“No,” the rest of the team answered in perfect unison.

“We all go through trying times,” Finn said with a pat to Leo’s knee. “Look on the bright side: at least it isn’t me this year!”

Leo stared at him for a long, silent moment.

“You astound me,” he said at last.

“Thank you.”

“That’s not a compliment.”

“I’m taking it as one.”

“How did I end up with this award?” He looked around the team with a lost expression. “How is it not Ginger Spice every goddamn year?”

“Because we have to switch it up so we can trauma-bond over mutual humiliation,” Talker informed him. “Also, you’re a little fucker and you can’t hide it from the good people of Gryffindor forever.”

Leo shook his head, but turned back to his notes. “Number two: leaving the ice baths to get my Gatorade, then slipping and falling in my own puddle on the way back.” He closed his eyes. “And spilling the entire bottle of Gatorade on myself. And slipping in that as well.”

“It’s important to me that people know you just laid there for, like, five full seconds,” Kasey added.

“Thanks.”

“Any time, Honeynut Cheerios.”

“After I’m done, can someone bury me under the net? I want to haunt you all for making me do this.”

Several noises of assent followed and Leo nodded.

“Cool. Sweet. I love this for myself.” He cleared his throat and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Number one: I underestimated the weight of my new gear, sat on a stool, and fell backwards off it. I took six and a half people down with me like a bowling ball wrapped in Velcro and foam. Every second of it was caught on camera and replayed through commercial breaks, then late-night television. Harzy, will you do the honors?”

“Of course, Bodacious Nutacious.”

Leo held his arms up and Finn scooped him over his shoulder with a grin as the room erupted into whoops, hollers, and applause. The camera followed the stream of players out and down the hallway; Talker stepped into frame once more, craning his neck to watch Leo and Finn disappear around the corner.

“Thanks for joining us for another year, Lions,” he laughed. “We look forward to so many more. Stay humble!”