#going to go bingewatch goodbye

[shadowqueenjude]

I JUST WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF BRIDGERTON AND OMG??? THE SCANDAL. THE BANTER. THE QUICK LOOKS, THE SEARING EYE CONTACT. HANDS HANDS HANDS. DAPHNE PUNCHING THE EVER-LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THAT GUY. I COULDN'T STOP GIGGLING OMG I'M OBSESSED.

[dominic-sessa]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

[illusion-reality-steve]

Reaction to “I escaped the Darkness” and “Steves acting suspicious” - Rainbow Quest Eps. 136 and 137

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrp7_Wq9moE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEOWkwZkzEk

I apologize for the delay with this reaction series. I really had to take a break to mull over my Thoughts about Shadow Sabre and his discussion about love. But now I’m back.

I’m going to pay more attention to Shadow Sabre, Sabre, and Violet’s characterization since it means a lot to me that I figure out Rainbow Quest’s view on people who love and people who don’t love. I’ll be writing textual evidence in a file and writing my analysis in a separate file, for a future post, while my general fresh reactions will be documenting in the “Reaction” series.

So as a forewarning: I might be taking more breaks as I bingewatch Rainbow Quest as I work on taking notes and over-thinking the tiniest quotes for my analysis project, which means I’ll be slower with catching up on the series. Thank you in advance for your patience!

Anyways, resume the reactions!

The clock ticking noises in the intro makes me wonder if Time will get a more significant, potentially scary, role in this series.

[Screenshot of the destroyed giant statue in the destroyed original Rainbow hub]

Why do I have the mental image of the Darkness biting that statue as if it were a gingerbread man?

Shadow Sabre is starting to radiate the “Are you winning, son?” energy. Except he’s saying “Are you falling into the darkness, son?” instead.

**

Sabre: I’d rather have friends and then lose them, then to have none at all.

Me: Well, good news, Sabre! You will lose all your friends after what you do in the Rainbow Quest finale! You have to say goodbye to all of them!

Yup, RQ is going with the one vs many theme.

**

Consider this: Rainbow Quest, but every time a character says “want,” the video plays .25x faster

**

Now it sounds like Sabre is agitating a super edgy Internet man by telling Shadow Sabre he is afraid. Shadow getting emotional doesn’t help lmao. The emotional “WE CRAVE NOTHING” is hysterical.

This is satisfying me. Sabre’s Steve-content is at its absolute best when its storytelling criticizes the idea that “edginess = superiority.”

**

Sabre: What we want is for everyone to have their own choices. Not be stripped of their own will, but be given their own will, so that they can avoid this right here!

Heck yes, go Sabre!

But of course, with every discussion of free will, someone will eventually ask the question: “But what about the people who decide to use their free will to cause irreversible damage?” I’m curious to see if RQ will explore this question.

I feel like that question will best be explored in an environment where Darkness doesn’t exist to manipulate Steves. What will Steves, without any manipulation of Darkness, do? Will some of them decide to do damaging things?

So far, the only characters that I know of that don’t get manipulated by Darkness are Sol and Origin Steve. So I’m curious to see what their character arcs will be like and how they explore the idea of free will and a manipulation-less world.

**

Sabre is so freaking badass. Shadow is threatening him. Telling him that he can either embrace the Darkness and give up all emotions, or be stuck reliving painful memories for eternity. And Sabre just went like “bring it on.” And that is epic.

Side note, in a meta sense, it’s odd to see Sabre declare how he’ll always remember the lost loved ones from his adventures. Because in Steve Saga, he spends season 2 forgetting everyone. Four main characters (Rainbow and the Galaxy Fam) also forget their loved ones in the Steve Saga.

We went from Steve “who?” Saga to Rainbow “I will remember” Quest, and I like it. Let the forgotten be remembered!

**

MY BOY LEATHER CHESTPLATE YELLOW. COME HERE, SON.

AND HE’S OPEN-MINDED AND ACTUALLY LISTENING TO SABRE. YESSSS

MY SON, IF YOU CONTINUE BEING SO NICE TO SABRE, YOU WILL BE MY #1 FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SERIES.

Leather Chestplate Yellow: *helps Violet Leader arrest Sabre*

...

:(

**

Shadow in the intro: “Are you sick of being powerless?”

Well, we’ll figure out how Sabre feels about being powerless against the Steves now with his tainted repulation.

**

Sabre: I thought Violet Steves were all about peace because you guys represent love!

Me: Sabre, I’ve seen fandoms tear themselves apart with drama because of their protective love over their favorite IPs. Love. Is. Not. Peaceful.

**

Darn it, now I can’t figure out Shadow Sabre

Is he actually vulnerable and legit got scared when Sabre broke out? Or did he pretend to be scared and give Sabre temporary control just so Sabre can get bullied by the Steves? Reliving the past didn’t work to break Sabre, so Shadow Sabre thought on his feet and through accepting the present would do the trick?

***

The Shadow Sword is a weapon formed from all the destruction Sabre caused? So the Shadow Sword basically has a lot of dead people’s energy inside of it?

...gross.

***

I know plot-wise, they’re avoiding him because they need the Steves to trust him. But if we’re going with the “Darkness is a metaphor of mental illness” interpretation, I get odd vibes about Sabre’s friends wanting to avoid him because he got infected.

Time gets a “good boy” sticker for being understanding. Though I’m wondering why Time didn’t ask Elemental to put Sabre in a pocket dimension though, like with Yellow King and Orange Leader.

And Elemental, you’re strong. If you’re so upset at Sabre, why didn’t you destroy him earlier while Sabre was possessed? I’m guessing Time stopped you, because he knew Sabre would eventually come through.

[xannerz]

is this your first time going through the emotional crucible which is the good place? :’) truly a one-of-a-kind experience

oh yes!! ;-; i left off at the end of s2 ages ago and recently got the urge to bingewatch the rest of it. each char's development was so lovingly and thoughtfully handled that the ending made me feel like i was saying goodbye to lifelong friends??? im such a sensitive baby LMAO incredible how it starts off as this goofy concept and then reels you in with their attachments to each other and hopeful perspective on things 🥺💖

[eggytoast2]

One last game of Tag? Agents of Shield #PartingShot

I was tagged by @apathbacktoyou Thank you for that, and for many other things 💗

With  this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions  and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in !  Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling  ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or  just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show  (which I also am going to post tomorrow on IG).

Where were you in life when you first started to watching AoS?

I started watching in the summer of 2018.  I was a junior in college and wanted something fun to watch with my mom.  We’d watch one episode together, she’d go do something else and I’d secretly bingewatch way ahead of her.  She got icked out by a dude who’d internally combusted/melted, but I was hooked by one (1) Melinda May and goin nowhere (except maybe to tumblr to look at the AoS gifs).  

Where are you now?

I’m still living in the same place, but I’ve graduated with my Master’s, I’ve made an EP album, and I’m looking forward to finding new things.  

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

May’s everything will always be my favorite, and I really Lived for Aida’s whole deal.  I love robots and the questionhood of morality and alternate timelines that ultimately don’t affect the actual timeline except for feelings.  Also, Aida was mad hot (and secretly in lesbians with May, who is mad hot). 

What will you miss the most?

May, obviously.  But also, just the delicious anticipation of More.  One of the best (arguably, worst) things about this show is that it is a New comic book, it’s simply live action.  Like, every season is an “oh no, here’s an insurmountable problem that no one can fix, and also somebody died because surprise there was a betrayal and it was Hydra all along! But look, our superhero got even stronger and Hydra is vanquished and they’re really not dead well they are but we’ll bring them back!”  I’m gonna miss that. 😪 I’m gonna miss new things for my joke blog, even though I haven’t made a joke on that blog since I started it (lol). I came in late to the fandom and kinda stayed in a weird pocket of it, but I met some pretty spectacular people through it and I’ll always be grateful 💗

Favorite quote?

it’s not a quote, but the scene where Melinda May fights herself.  I’m not kidding, but seeing Melinda Qiaolian May be a badass, a kind-hearted stonefaced mentor and mom and prankster and legend and Person (who happens to be Chinese American) - it really did change something in me.  I finally got to see the Me onscreen that I’d secretly always wanted to be and felt silly for dreaming of, and it felt secure.  There were no apologies or explanations for being there.  I didn’t need to feel awkward in hoping for her, she was already there. 💓

I have lost sight of who has been tagged so I’m tagging: @justanalto @agentmmayy and sorry for anyone that’s already been tagged! also, if you haven’t been tagged but want to: TAG, you’re it!:)

[aroaceking01]

Unus Annus Goodbye!

I only remembered this channel with 45 days left on the clock and at that time I watched only the first one. So in 45 days I have bingewatch every videos on this channel because why not? I could have forget about it and go on my day, but I didn’t. With someone with a lot of anxiety and being scared of missing time in life, that channel was just made for me. I know that I kind of cheated, since I wasn’t there since the beginning, but I still feel sad to loose this channel tonight. I watched every single one of them, I speedrun this shit, bought some merch before it was too late and I’m glad that I did. I could have use my time more usefully (like school, rip) but it felt like this channel was what I needed for the rest of the year. So for the little time that I was with you guys, thank you! It is 3:20 AM where I am, I’m crying because of the end of the livestream, but I am happy after all. It was a wild ride, I regret nothing ( not even the sleepless night so I could catch on), it motivated me to explore my creativity ( writing, reading, maybe even creating my own channel YouTube who knows). Thanks for the crew, you guys are the best. I hope y’all can rest a little since it’s over. Love u guys!

And remember,

Memento Mori,

Unus Annus.

[onewaigu]

Heartstrings

Genre : boyfriend!au

Theme : fluff

Pairing : Jae(Day6) X Reader

Description : you'd been bingewatching too many fancams, it made you forget that you could actually watch a live concert in your very own bedroom.

A yawn escaped you as you hit the replay button once again for the umpteenth time in a row. You'd been bingewatching fancams from Day6's concerts since the moment you got off from work. You even lost track of time of how long you'd been at it. It was a guilty pleasure.

Listening to bands performing live hit differently. The raw music they produced with their instruments could send a wave of pure satisfaction coursing through anyone's veins. Their vocals? Phenomenal. Their energy? Crazy. That was the beauty of bands.

Day6, on the other hand, was on a whole different level of bands being diverse in their music styles. It was hard to even name a bad song from their entire discography. They were that amazing.

You were planning on staying up till you fall asleep but someone had other plans and that, was to barge into your room at 11pm unannounced.

You groaned. He was lucky you were in love with him.

Refusing to leave the comfort of your warm blanket that was hugging your entire being, you twirled around in your spinny chair to face him instead of moving from your comfy spot.

“Are you stalking us?”, he wiggled his eyebrows in your direction once he glimpsed at your laptop.

“You wish”, you rolled your eyes.

As you were about to turn your chair back around to continue watching more fancams, you felt your chair being tugged from behind. You were lazy to resist it, so you just let yourself slide backwards until you finally fell into his embrace.

Warmth crept all over your cheeks as he placed his on your shoulder, adjusting a bit so that the both of you were comfortable. For obvious reasons, your heart won't stop pounding against your chest as a soft fuzzy feeling enveloped it. You could imagine his smug face smiling like a fool behind you. He was enjoying this too much.

Rubbing your tired eyes, you rested against him. Moments like this were the most relaxing. That was until your lovely boyfriend decided to abruptly pull away without any kind warning, leaving you to jerk your head back. The nerve of him.

You glared at him menacingly but his only response was to squish your cheeks to make you look like an angry fish.

“Why do you even watch fancams when you can have a whole one-man concert in your bedroom right now?”, he cooed at you as he squished your cheeks. He stopped momentarily however, just so that he could strike a stupid pose before returning to what he was doing.

“Because..”, you lowered his hands from your face, “..I've never seen you guys live”. You pouted your lips at him. You really wanted to experience the concert vibes.

“Work is a pain in the butt but I need it”, your voice softening as you looked into his eyes. You were always a bit disheartened whenever concert dates were announced because you knew you didn't have a chance to go to any one of them even if you wanted to.

Work had always been the main issue that stopped you from attending Day6's concerts. Even during holidays, you sometimes had to work overtime.

This night was one of the rare times when you could finally focus on something else other than work. Hence, you decided to dedicate your free time to watching your boyfriend and his friends killing it on stages in front of their fans. You didn't want to ever miss out on memories that made Jae happy.

Whatever you said probably struck something in him because he immediately moved to cup your face in his palms and bring it closer to his own face. You felt your breath hitched a little. Was the fan broken? Because the whole room suddenly felt like a sauna. It'd been 2 solid years since Jae and you called it official, of course with the blessings of Papa JYP, Day6, and even MyDays. Yet for some reason, he still managed to make you feel like a lovesick fool with his gentle gestures.

Looking at you with dead serious eyes, he caressed your face lovingly and said a few things that made you emotional.

“First of all, you don't know how much I really appreciate you supporting us..and me”, his voice came out husky as he lowered his voice into a whisper.

“Second of all, I love you so don't ever push yourself too far okay?”

“It hurts me to see you overwork yourself”, his forehead now resting on yours.

You chuckled under your breath, “Says the dude who's in a band”.

He flashed you a cheeky smile at your remark as the two of you finally pulled away from each other.

“Third of all, you could always facetime me during concerts Y/N”

“I'm sure our fans wouldn't mind it, we're a big ol' family after all”, seeing him giving you a reassuring smile and an affectionate rub on your arm, your heart continuously skipped. This was why you fell for him. He could be this annoyingly, goofy Jae whenever he wanted to but, at the same time, he could also be this serious Jae who cared very much for others.

After giving you one last peck on your head, he stood up to take something that was resting by the door. Twirling gracefully, he had his electric guitar slung across him. Oh no, he was about to do a one-man concert. In your bedroom. At midnight. You facepalmed at his dumb logic.

Before he could play any chords, you were already pushing him out of your apartment. As much as he protested, you didn't listen. You weren't keen on making any of your neighbours hate you.

“Let me sing one song for you, I promise it'll sound better than that stupid fancam”, he begged you but you simply ignored his dramatic pleas.

“You do realise you're dissing yourself, right?”

“Gimme one chance-”

“Goodbye, Jae”

“But-”

“Love you too”

A..nd he was gone. Once the door had closed on Jae, you leaned back and slid down to the floor, trying hard to ignore the giddy feeling that was bubbling inside you. Fanning your face, you stood up and headed back to your room. This time, you thought that it was finally time for you to sleep. With that, the last thing you saw before your eyelids started to droop was the chicken-shaped night light that Jae had bought for you on a whim. Typical Jae.

[a/n]

finally a fic for my ult-ish bias..jae sweetie, i'm sorry it took so long T T

i dunno how but kbands rlly be out there making music sound crispy

(video credits to 대식가 on yt)

[apricops]

@discoursedrome​ said: you gotta liveblog about this, it's from before the bingewatching era so I'm very curious to hear you speedrun the entire narrative arc of the series

Unfortunately I have already made it to season 4, specifically we just watched the episode Something Blue. I’ll do a mental dump of things thus far, spoiler warnings for basically the first half of the show. Feel free to ask me my thoughts on anything not covered below.

Season 4 specifically:

There’s something very Bugs Bunny-ish about Spike. It’s like, y’know how some demons are like “I exude an aura that saps the energy from people around me or makes everyone near me run in terror”? It’s like Spike has an aura where if you’re near him you now have to play along with the joke, whatever that joke may be. I hated him when he was introduced but I also see in retrospect how his initial success was key to making him the bumbling comic villain, by having him actually fall from power.

Starting with season 4, you can tell the costume designers were happy that they didn’t have to pretend like Alyson Hannigan was frumpy and unattractive. I honestly didn’t recognize her for a second because she was just dressed like a normal person instead of bright pink overalls or whatever.

Before we watched Pangs, Aria said “this episode might be a little uncomfortable” and I was assuming it was because there was going to be graphic footage of eyeballs getting split open or something, but no, it was just a very bungling and ham-handed attempt to go “so, Native Americans, right?” where the only onscreen Native Americans are bloodthirsty spirits.

Very glad that Angel is gone-ish. Even knowing nothing about Buffy beforehand, the first time he came back felt so obviously “whoops, fans love him so let’s bring him back” and he generally didn’t do much after that besides breathe heavily and tell people they don’t understand.

Funny thing about TV depictions of college #1: the professors teaching entry-level classes are always hard-asses when from my experience and the experiences of everyone I’d talk to, you’d have to literally walk into class snorting meth before the professor would gently ask you to put the pipe away.

Funny thing about TV depictions of college #2: the writers clearly only having an entry-level understanding of any given topic. The show will be like “omg she’s revolutionizing the field of psychology, she’s the best psychology-knower on the planet” and then they’ll show her class and she’s like “so, fucken... basic Freudian bullshit, am I right?”

Riley when geared up looks so much like a live-action version of Leon Kennedy.

The very obvious gap in the opening credits where Cordelia was supposed to be. Where it’s like “Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar! Alyson Hannigan! ................ Nicholas Brendon!”

More general thoughts:

This is gonna sound very @kontextmaschine​ esque but wow does this show reflect that sort of... repressed nerdboy sexuality where it’s all like “ha ha what if this demon lady had contrived plot-related reasons to tempt you with her demon boobs” and “what if there were strong/threatening female villains who sexually assaulted you (but joke’s on them, we’re just indulging our submissive fantasies).” There’s something... a bit tacky about it.

Unfortunately it also works on me sometimes because evil Willow did things to me.

I can definitely tell how it would be so different waiting week after week to see the various twists and turns, and how Buffy changed the game.

Very variable quality of fight scenes. In season 4 specifically it seems like they discovered wires and there’s a lot of times where the character vaults up really high and spins around and then delivers a very flaccid kick. With seasons 1 and 2 it felt like Buffy just did the same three kicks from different angles. The fight in the mayor’s office was my favorite thus far because it had the whole usage of props and the environment and wasn’t just two people throwing each other into the wall.

Speaking of which, and I know it’s one of those “it has to be that way for TV” things but it’s just funny how everyone’s skill and ability varies wildly depending on the demands of the plot. When Buffy’s fighting some unimportant villain of the week she can hit a fly from 30 paces but when she’s fighting a recurring villain she’s all “ohh no I am unable to defeat this person who is right in front of me, just talking,” like fuckin just throw a stake at him!

Late 90s CGI, oof.

Late 90s slang, oof.

Speaking of the mayor, he’s been the best villain thus far, though from what I’ve heard that’s not exactly a hot take.

The unfortunate implications of how every character who’s not straight and white is either clearly evil or dead by the end of the season.

Having autism makes watching TV weird. I mention this because of a conversation I had with my gf that went roughly like this:

gf: “Wait, do you not get how Anya’s supposed to be like, violating social norms all the time and that’s why people don’t like her?”

me: “What do you mean?”

gf: “Like right there, she didn’t knock before entering. That’s why Giles was all “vOv?” with her.”

me: “But it”s a TV show. It’s a Joss Whedon show. It’s like how nobody ever says “goodbye” during a phone call, you’re not expected to, you just enter the frame and say your one-liner. Half the time they’re being quippy while classmates around them are actively dying.”

So I guess I don’t recognize the line between “this social norm is violated because it’s more convenient for TV” and “this social norm is violated because the character violates social norms.”

Anyway, it’s a good fun show, which feels like a thing you aren’t supposed to admit to on social media.

[headoverjojo]

alive watched last episodes and... I can't stop crying. I don't want to say goodbye to anyone in Passione, they're like a family to me now. a big family with a lot of issues, but I love them sincerely and don't want to go away. we've been through a lot together, it was definitely bizarre but truly GOLD experience so... in that case... can I stay there, in Passione with everyone, please?..

(Still not watched the episode ‘cause here the sites are all down ‘cause the geniuses hadn’t prepared in time the servers. Eheheh) 

BUT I agree and I can feel you, darling. Vento Aureo is the first Jojo I’ve watched week by week ‘cause, I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’ve come in contact with Jojo pretty late, to be more precise more or less one year ago. And from then I’ve watched all the series and read the manga, in a big bingewatching and bingereading. So, I hadn’t to wait an entire week to see what would have happened next. With VA I could finally have this experience and boy... oh boy. It had been amazing. Never an anime catched me so much, never I grew so fond to a group of characters. I feel you... I too don’t want to let them go! But all in all, the end of the anime doesn’t mean that the story and characters will be lost “in the past”: we can always watch and read again and again about them and revamp all the emotions we felt the first time! So, well... we’ll all stay here in Passione, as we all are still staying in this beautiful duwang, as we’re still stardust crusaders and so on! ‘Cause, when a story catches you so much, it stays with you forever! And thanks to these wonderful stories, a fantastic community had the possibility to be born and grow ‘till being what it is today :3

[iminyourhandskara]

A Second Schott At Love - Chapter 1.

“Worst weekend ever. Drink at 6?” That’s all Winn had written in his text to Mon-El; the latter only got to read it about an hour later, since he was too busy cuddling his new girlfriend, Kara. Contrarily to what his friend said, this had been Mon-El’s best weekend ever. Valentine’s Day had surely become his favorite festivity: “Sure.” he replied anyway.

Perfectly on time, Winn arrived to the Alien Bar with a frown, “I’m assuming that the first round is on me.” The mixologist said, “Wanna talk about it?” “Drink first, story later.” “Yes sir.” “Remember when I told you that I had a date? On Valentine’s day?” “Yes.” “Well, it didn’t go well. It was so awkward, she was..” Mon-El raised an eyebrow, “How?” “Kinda rude to the waiter? Aggressive? I mean, she was hot. A really hot Valeronian. But definitely not the type I should go after..” “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy.” “Yeah, me too. I wish I didn’t feel this strong connection to any pretty person I see, you know? James always says that to me, he says I fall too fast and I should take things slow. Maybe it’s time I follow that advice.” “Winn, there’s plenty of dolphins in the sea.” “You mean fish?” “Wait, dolphins aren’t fish?” “One, the saying goes ‘There’s plenty of fish in the sea’ and two, no, dolphins aren’t fish. They’re mammals.” “Are you kidding me?”

“Hey, this should be the part where you console me, it’s not biology class.” “Right..Anyway, you are a truly amazing person, you’ll find love when you least expect it. Trust me.” “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever told me. If in a year, we’re not dating anyone, we’re getting married.” Mon-El laughed, “Yeah, actually about that…” “Mon-El!” Rhonda called him in the kitchen, “Sorry! I have to go now! I’ll talk to you later.” “Pff, go ahead, live your happy life, while I drink my pain away.” “Lighten up, bro. I know I’m right.” Mon-El patted Winn’s shoulder before leaving.

“Owwh, poor Winn.” Kara played with Mon-El’s hair as he used her as a pillow, telling their friend’s story, “He deserves the best of the best.” “I wish we could help him somehow.” “Yeah, me too.” “Did you..did you tell him about us?” “I was about to, but I got interrupted.” “Oh.. I didn’t talk to Alex yet, but I’m pretty sure she knows..” “Why is that?” He asked with an amused smile.“ Sister code, I can’t say anything.” Kara grinned. “Alright, okay..” He trailed off as he started to kiss her again.

“Crap! It’s 8 AM already? I have to get ready for work!” Kara immediately stood up and rushed to the kitchen, Mon-El didn’t even have the time to realize what was happening, he was happily spooning her and the next second she was super speeding all over the room. “Right. Mondays. Mondays suck.” He mumbled. “I’ll see you later babe, bye!” “Goodbye!” Mon-El answered, still tangled in Kara’s sheets, “She called me 'babe’…” no one could take away that dopey grin from his face.

Kara arrived at CatCo on time, suddenly she heard loud thumping steps and turned around to see a pretty pissed off Eve Tessmacher: it was so unlike her to not have a happy face in the morning. She looked at the files she was carrying and walked into Kara once again; “Oh my goodness, Kara, I’m so sorry!” “Don’t worry, Eve.. take these. Are you okay?” “No, I’m not, but don’t worry, I’ll handle it. Have a nice day!” “Wait, wait! Is this..about Mike?” Kara felt discomfort asking that, but she wanted to help her. “No, no, but you know..It was Valentine’s Day and I kinda had a date, but he turned out to be..a literal douchebag. It’s not a big deal, all the girls go through this at least once. And you, how’s it going with Mike?” She could see in her kind eyes the genuineness of her question, with no hidden jealousy. 

“We’re good, we’re not public yet but… we’re good. And I’m so sorry to hear about that date, and you’re right, a lot of people go through this, it’s inevitable, but you’re such a beautiful and sweet girl, I know you’ll find the love you deserve.” Kara caressed Eve’s arm and tried to comfort her friend as much as she could.

James called everyone in the office for the first meeting of the day, Kara was kind of paying attention until a brilliant idea came to her mind and she damned herself for not thinking about it earlier, “Of course!” She accidentally said out loud. “Erm, Kara, I really appreciate your enthusiasm..” James said, knowing for sure that Kara’s exclamation wasn’t about the ecologists her colleague was going to interview for the magazine.

 “Mon-El. Mon-El. Mon-El. Mon-El. You have to hear what happened today at work.” “What. What. What. What. What happened?” He put two plates on the tables and sat down to eat lunch with Kara. “Okay, so this morning I arrived at CatCo and Eve arrived all grumpy and sad like I had never seen her.” “I’m-” “No, it’s not your fault. Don’t worry. So I ask her what’s wrong and she said she had a date for Valentine’s day but he was a douchebag.” “I googled this term. Douche means shower in French. Why is ‘Bag of shower’ an insult?” “I…I don’t know, but that’s not the point!” “I feel so sorry for Eve: she’s such a great girl, she deserves to find love..I just wasn’t the right boy.” “Exactly.” He paused. “But we can fix this.” “We can?” “Yep. Who else had a terrible date experience over the weekend, is a wonderful friend and the cutest nerd you’ll ever meet?” “OH MY GOD!” “I KNOW!..Wait, we’re talking about the same person, right?” “Winn!” “Yes! They’ve been in front of our eyes this whole time and we never thought about this perfect match, we’ve been so stupid!”

“We need to set them up.” “Instantly.” Kara and Mon-El spent the rest of their lunch planning this date out but they ignored one little detail. “Wait, Kara.” “Yeah?” “Will they even accept to go to this blind date? I know they trust us enough, but perhaps they want some alone time after their disappointments.” “Oh… Personally, I think they will. Should we call them or should we ask them in person?” “I don’t know, but I’m a really impatient man.” “And I’m a really impatient woman.” They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. “Okay, let’s call them.”

Kara called Eve first, she put the speaker on so Mon-El could listen: “Hello?” “Hi Eve! It’s me, Kara. Am I interrupting you or something?” “No, no, I was just bingewatching a show on Netflix. Is everything alright?” “Yes! Everything is perfect, I just wanted to ask you something.” “Of course, tell me.” “So, I saw you were really upset this morning and I wanted-” “WE WANTED!” Mon-El corrected with a loud shout, so the other girl could hear. “Yes, me and Mike wanted to make sure you felt better: what do you think about coming to a blind date with this friend of ours?” “Wow, guys, that’s- that’s very sweet of you! I don’t know what to say..” “Just say yes!” Mike exclaimed as a matter of fact, Kara lightly slapped his arm. “We just think that you and this boy would be a really good match, and he’s had a rough Valentine’s day date too.” “When would this date be?” “Any time you like.” “Uhm…okay! Okay, I’m in: it can’t be any worse than the last one, or the one before, right? Sorry Mike, no offense!” “None taken, Eve.” He chuckled and Kara had to stifle her giggle. “Okay, great, I’ll tell you the details soon, goodbye Eve!” “Have a nice day!” “Goodbye Kara, goodbye Mike!”

Kara had to calm herself to not squeal, “One down, now let’s call the other one.” “Hey Winn!” The couple greeted at the same time. “Hey guys, what’s up? I was about to watch Stranger Things..” “Don’t worry, we’ll be quick. Do you wanna go on a blind date with our friend?” “What?!” “We’ve already talked to her and she has agreed to do it.” “Isn’t a bit too soon? I don’t wanna jump on another train to disappointment station.” “One of the reasons we decided to set up this date, is because she’s had bad experiences with dates as well: the last being over the weekend, just like you.” Mon-El tried to convince him to give it a shot. “Plus, she’s a really lovely girl, both inside and out and she went to Yale! I know you would have a lot to geek out on..” “That’s impressive. What’s- what’s her name?” “Eve. Eve Tessmacher.” “You mean James’ assistant?” “Yes, why, you don’t like her?” “No, it’s not that. I’ve been at CatCo a lot of times, yet, I never really got to see her.” “Well, this is the perfect time. What do you say?” “..Okay: but if this doesn’t go well, you two are never allowed to interfere with my love life ever again, got it?” “Yes! Yes. When do you want to meet her?” “Let’s do Friday..but I don’t know where.” “Leave that to me, I’ll let you know on text.” “Okay. Can I go back to Netflix now?” “Of course, enjoy the show!” “Bye!”

“High five!” Mon-El raised his hand, “I’m gonna make a reservation at ‘Il Palazzo’ really quickly.” “Good evening, is it possible to get two tables for two for Friday night? Yes, it’s “Danvers”. Okay. Okay. Thank you very much! Goodbye.” “Kara? Why did you book two tables?” “Because we’re going too. I need to see them with my own eyes.” “So… we’re spying on them?” “It’s not spying, it’s.. observing.” “Oh Rao.”

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat p1&2 reaction

So, time to start reading the next part of the epilogues! For us, that means the first page(s) after the prologue.

I'd rather keep the Candy part for last, in case Blaperile was right and it's more 'fleshed out' than I would've thought personally.

I wonder then if in the Meat part, John immediately leaves after his meal? Or maybe the farewells to his other friends just merit a mention, not dialoguelogs of their own.

---

Heheh, so the Meat or Candy option is the only thing currently on the Homestuck Epilogues log page, no pages underneath it. I do wonder if there will be a, heh, Epilogue, at the end, posted next week or so.

And, the same option is on the 3rd page of the prologue. I do like that the choice is represented with images. That might indicate that a sparse few more images will be used throughout the rest of the epilogues. For Homestuck to have been such a visual medium, it wouldn't have felt entirely right for the epilogues to stick to solely a text format.

---

Meat Epilogue 1, page 1: Pfff, so that's actually the title of this subdivision the epilogues then, hahah.

... Okay, that is a way too visual description of John eating raw meat. It's a good thing I have just had a light breakfast. :P

"Some of the blood has coagulated on the surface of the plate. You grab it from Calliope and lick it clean. She watches you—calm, placid, alien. Roxy has leaned forward to scrutinize your slovenly feasting, her eyes wide and intense. You stare back at them with your hands coated in unctuous organic matter and flecks of seared skin. The blood on your hands is so thin that it’s like oily Kool-Aid pooling in your palm." And then John became a cherub. :P I suppose John digging into a meal is a sight for everyone.

"> Think, suddenly, about all the many horrible crimes committed by Lord English." Of course, he has the taste for blood now. :P Sudden resolve is sudden.

"> You know what you must do.

JOHN: i know what i must do." Influensive narration, was influensive narration? :mspa:

Blaperile has a good point, maybe this same exchange happens in the Candy route. I mean, I know there's going to be a detailed description of John eating candy there, but maybe this exact two lines happen there too.

"Roxy pulls back and takes a deep breath. It’s a very thin breath, and her bottom lip quivers a bit when she sucks it in. She looks disappointed, though you could be misreading her, as usual." I suppose Roxy is mainly sad that he'll leave them. It could be she was hoping to reconnect with him as well. Maybe she was even hoping they were in the non-canon route, despite John's choice of lunch.

I wonder whether she'll really stay behind though. I've said it before, 23-year-old John, going back to rouse 16-year-old versions of his friends? It's a bittersweet idea.

"No one says anything for some time. A pleasant breeze rolls down from the hills. In the distance, the bell tower chimes twice. You notice that a group of carapacians have stopped to stare at you with beady-eyed fascination. The front of your shirt is stained with dark, slimy patches from the meat. Christ, why did you have to eat that meat like such a slob?

JOHN: so, is that it? JOHN: should i, uh... get going? CALLIOPE: if this is yoUr decision, then yes. CALLIOPE: there’s no time to lose, if the choice yoU have made is"

At first I thought the carapaces were aware of the gravity of the situation, then I thought they were indeed just fixed on his slobbering, but now... They might be instinctually aware of his importance. Though, table manners were never something I thought John really had much of, he still really dug into his meal, didn't he?

And as for his next move, seems time is of the essence. Well, he is going to take up arms against a Lord of the same aspect.

"Calliope closes up the picnic basket and stands. Roxy follows, taking Calliope’s hand in hers again." So... are his other friends perhaps nearby, or is this it?

"> Say goodbye?

JOHN: ok then.

JOHN: umm...

JOHN: thanks for inviting me to this picnic.

JOHN: guess i’ll see you both... when i get back?" Damn, him asking is another mark in favor of him not being able to return, and everyone of his friends being in the know about this.

I really hope he can go back though, he's already switched between versions of his friends once before.

... Okay, the belch caught me off guard too. It would've been funny if the others had reacted to it, but as it stands... It's just awkward.

"You hesitate a few awkward moments too long. When you go to hug them, they’ve already turned away, leaving you standing in the middle of the park alone with your arms half-raised, cupping the air. It’s so pathetic that the eavesdropping carapacians finally scurry away, overwhelmed by their secondhand embarrassment. You didn’t even know they could get embarrassed.

You drop your arms and sigh. Time to get on with it." Okay, that's as anti-climactic as it gets, and it seems more and more as if his friends were keeping something from him. Even now that he made his choice. He deserved to know the truth, no matter how harsh it was.

"Before you leave, you fly back home and take one last look around Salamander Village. You breathe in the clean, crisp air, listen to the pipes chime, soak up the unfiltered sunlight. You then head inside for a wipe down, since it feels like you’ve been making face-down snow angels on the floor of an ill-kept slaughterhouse. You head to your bathroom and wash all the meat off your face. But somehow you still don’t feel that clean. An invisible layer of oil seems to cling to almost every square inch of your body no matter how hard you scrub." At least he took the time to say goodbye to his home of the last few years. As for how he was feeling, I suppose some part of him understands he'll disconnect from his friends through what he choose to do here. Either because he'll have had all those new adventures without them, or because he'll just never be able to return here.

... Some victory state THIS turned out to be.

"You go to your bedroom desk and dig out some stationery.

> Write: “dear roxy,”

You’ve never written a note so quickly, or with such clarity of heart and mind. When you’re done, you write nine more." Aww, letters for all his human and troll friends on Earth C. Guess Calliope & the sprites are just not that close to his heart? (... Wait, no, 10 in total, so Calliope was probably included.) ... He might just not be remembering to say goodbye of his Nannasprite in the moment. Or maybe, some of the B2 kids or Kanaya were left out, that's also possible.

"You leave ten envelopes on your bed, arranged in a tidy circle with the names of your ten closest friends written on them. Then, with absolutely no fanfare, you leave all of them and this idyllic world you’ve created behind and zap yourself back into canon." One of the least most fanfaric moments in the story...

---

==>

"DAVE: bro" ... Wait what??? Did he just zap himself back in time in front of Dave???

... Or did he zap to where Dave lives - wait, no, he entered canon, the last page said.

Blaperile has a good point, maybe we'll get to see the other children respond to his letter? ... Or maybe even respond to the fact that he left all the same, since only Roxy, Calliope, Rose & Dirk seemed to be in the loop here.

"In the heart of the Troll Kingdom’s capital city, Dave and Karkat are sitting on their couch with a foot and a half of space between them. It’s a typically picturesque day outside, but Karkat has the curtains drawn shut all the way. This is part of their compromise living situation: Dave puts up with the trollish non-euclidean architecture and bizarre social mores, and Karkat has adjusted his diurnal schedule to, in theory, see the sun." Oh, so it IS the Earth C Dave (and Karkat!) ... Have they just had a small argument, that they're so far apart? :P HEheh, it does feel good to get a little more expo on their situation. ... I do wonder how we would have to designate what we learn about them here. It's probably still all going to be vague, but with John having zapped back to canon, this timeline has become validated again. So it's truth component should be restored, but then again, it's outside of canon. Bluh, MY3KT mantra, I should just enjoy this for what it is.

"DAVE: bro you have got to check this out

Karkat is leaning forward, munching on chocolate-coated beetles and totally absorbed in what he’s watching. The glow from the television highlights the dark bags under his eyes. " Pfff, troll candy, hahah. ... Is Dave surfing on his smartphone and pestering Karkat while he's trying to bingewatch something? ... That is just so perfect.

... I swear, if one of the carapaces filmed John's belch and put it on YouTube, or whatever...

"Dave reaches out and, very gently, pokes Karkat in the cheek. Karkat flinches out of his full-body slouch." You do not disturb Couch Patato Karkat. :P

"KARKAT: NOT NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS IS ON TV AGAIN.DAVE: stop ogling jakes ass this is important" I KNOW this probably means Jake did something adventurous again, but... Yeah, Karkat being starstruck by a John-lookalike with a black hole for a red quadrant is just so fitting. Also, pfff, that was also one of the captions of the snaps in the Credits, "Jake's ass is on tv again".

"Dave casts a weary look towards the TV, where Jake English is shamelessly exhibiting what is definitely his best feature in front of a live studio audience. This is a regular highlight of his and Dirk’s hit television show, RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH" ... Okay never mind, Jake either consciously or not has taken to stardom like a thirsty vagrant in the desert. ... Pumpkin Path, pfff, it didn't immediately connect, but that's Jake & Dirk's ship name! It's also a shoutout to Rumble in the Jungle, of course.

"a schizophrenic cross-section of rap battle and robot wrestling that Rose once described as “an exploitative, almost Dada-esque clusterfuck of circumlocutory pretension and sweaty, homoerotic astriction.”" ... Pffff, the rap battle part is more Dirk's shtick though.

"KARKAT: IT’S ALL IN THE WAY IT’S BEING PROGRAMMED BY THE STATION.KARKAT: IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO NOTICE, BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE I MAKE IT A POINT OF STAYING GLUED TO THIS PHONY TELEVISED HUMAN GLADIATOR GARBAGE.KARKAT: IT’S SOFT AS FUCK. THEY BARELY EVEN TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM REAL. DAVE, I CONSIDER MYSELF A COSMOPOLITAN INDIVIDUAL. A MAN OF LEARNING? BUT AS A NATIVE ALTERNIAN, I’M ACTUALLY FUCKING OFFENDED BY THIS INSULTING DISPLAY OF NAMBY PAMBY PAGEANTRY." So, is Karkat one of the people that is valiantly against wrestling as a form of entertainment, because it's "fake fighting"? :P Or is he offended by the rap battles as a lesser form of slam poetry? XD

"KARKAT: ANYWAY, THE MORE I WATCH, I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THE CAMERA’S LECHEROUS FIXATION ON THIS BOY’S VOLUPTUOUS POSTERIOR.KARKAT: CAN’T SAY I BLAME THEM, I GUESS??? AT LEAST IT SHOWS THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT’S PAYING THE FUCKING BILLS, BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T THE QUALITY OF THE SLAM POETRY." PFFFFF, I knew it.

"DAVE: ok who gives a shit about thatDAVE: although it pleases me to hear you taking note of the economics of this broadcast since it is apropos to the topic at hand but more on that later" Wait wut? :P Hah, Dave is still busy with "the economy", that's so sweet, both as a continuation of SBaHJ and the LOHACSE. Also, that's the second time the topic of the economy is broached in the epilogue!

So, we're actually seeing some things of normal life on Earth C despite this not being the Candy route. Weird, though Blaperile has a point these pages might be mirrored there with different endings. As for the poll, hahah, yeah I do suppose more people may have chose the Meat route initially, lame as it might be named.

... You know what'd it be funny? If the meat route turns out to be a red herring and the candy route was always the 'right' choice some how. It would be doubly funny, seeing has how the Candy route is visualized by the Spiral Sucker, which you could have taken to mean it's a dud. But a RED meat as the red herring? :P :P :P

"KARKAT: APROPOS TO FUCKING WHAT?KARKAT: I DON’T HAVE TIME TO “SCOPE THE LATEST MEME,” DAVE. YOU ARE COMING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO CUTTING INTO MY IMPORTANT LEISURE TIME AS IT IS.DAVE: leisure timeDAVE: this is all you ever do all dayDAVE: also its not a meme its much more important" Great to see they haven't become lovey dovey in their old age. :P

"KARKAT: OH, EXCUSE ME, HOT SHOT. BUT WHAT POSSIBLY COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LATEST MEME?KARKAT: THAT WAS A JOKE, FYI. NOW LEAVE.DAVE: jane is running for presidentKARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?" ... Well that came out of nowhere. :D I would be a lot less wary if it had been Jade or Rose. Since there's still that connection to )(IC in Jane. Then again, she's level-headed enough to not be corrupted by power, or so I can only hope.

"Dave scoots a foot and a half closer so that they can both read the news on his phone. Karkat tips his head to the side to get a better view, until it bumps against Dave’s shoulder." And the shippers (or rather, the fans of the pair) went wild!

"DAVE: got the announcement right hereKARKAT: YOU MEAN PRESIDENT OF EARTH?DAVE: yeahKARKAT: WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE WANT TO DO THAT?DAVE: i dunno crocker is just an ambitious woman i guessKARKAT: THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL.DAVE: oh it is" I'm suddenly getting a sense as if, in John's absence, the whole victory state might be in jeapordy. Does it have something to do with the fact that, canonically, Earth C has to end up hosting the cherubs?

"DAVE: it absolutely isDAVE: also likeDAVE: dont tell her i said this butDAVE: i think shes basically a fascistKARKAT: WHY WOULD I TELL HER YOU SAID THAT?KARKAT: WHEN THE FUCK WAS THE LAST TIME EITHER OF US HAD FUCK ALL TO DO WITH *JANE*DAVE: no i knowDAVE: just like, a figure of speech i guessDAVE: oh also shes a fucking xenophobeKARKAT: OF COURSE SHE’S A XENOPHOBE!" ... Is this the same Jane Crocker that was good enough friends with Calliope and all? Okay, true, like John she of all people took the least best to all the aliens and science and magic their life ended up being filled with after playing Sburb. Just wondering how much of this is Karkat and Dave overreacting for the hells of it, is all.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUTKARKAT: A LOT OF HUMANS ARE???DAVE: yeah ive noticed" Okay, victory state or not, I'm in for some more in-depth exposition on "how humans are still humans even on a planet filled with aliens from Day 1", and other tales about Earth C.

That takes me back to the troll separatist group that kidnapped Jane in the (non-canon?) snaps posted on the Official Homestuck channel.

"KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE EVEN MEAN SHE’S “RUNNING”KARKAT: WHAT A COMPLETE LOAD OF SHIT?KARKAT: SHE’S A GOD. WHICH ONE OF THE TOADYING IDIOTS ON THIS PLANET WOULD DARE TO RUN AGAINST HER.KARKAT: SHE’S GOING TO WIN IN A LANDSLIDE, ASSUMING SHE DOESN’T JUST WALTZ INTO OFFICE UNCONTESTED.DAVE: yeah i dont disagreeDAVE: which is why we have to stop her" Jane going mad with power, what a nice little thing from canon to become relevant again. :P Only this time no braincontrolling robotics are involved, I suppose.

---

As we stopped reading after this part, I've had some time to theorize.

What if this scene takes place in Earth C's past, and on the way back to canon, what John did first was to jump back to this moment, and punch Jane in the face? :P And then he zaps his friends out with him into canon, they do their thing, and zap back before the current version of John noticed they were gone? He isolated himself, after all, probably didn't even follow the news.

It would mean that the "victory state" was something the kids still had to earn after going through the door, even though it was outside of canon already. But it'll probably not go this way, I'm saddened to say.

Part of me wants the candy chapters parallel this route, in the characters shown per chapter, but then I would've liked being able to switch paths somewhere inbetween to compare and spot the differences.

"DAVE: which is why we have to stop herKARKAT: HUH?KARKAT: DAVE, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING?KARKAT: ARE YOU TELLING ME *YOU’RE* GOING TO RUN AGAINST JANE?" ... Okay, imagine the hilarity ensuing of Dave being President of the Earth. The campaign buttons (merch for FFBF, in any case!), the comparison to B2 Dave ascending the White House in a more literal way... But it would also be funny if Dave proposes Barack Obama. Not THE Barack Obama of course, just a member of a long line of people named that way, going back to a baby they cloned when populating this Earth. All named Barack Obama. :P

"Karkat’s laughter is uproarious, incredulous. He reaches for another beetle as his guffaws subside, and eats it in a manner he hopes will convey his casual contempt for Dave’s insinuation." Okay, I genuinely adore we now get to see Karkat's non-verbal reactions. They're as spiteful as his tirades, god bless.

"KARKAT: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW *RICH* SHE IS?DAVE: dude were all rich" Oh, yeah, I guess the riches they accumulated in the session are still a thing? Also, maybe Dave has gone the way of B2 Dave and makes a killing producing jpeg items at negative costs.

"DAVE: we like invented the fucking economyKARKAT: WELL, YEAHKARKAT: BUT NOT LIKEKARKAT: *CROCKER* RICHDAVE: anyway noDAVE: im not runningDAVE: you are" Ahahah, I didn't figure he'd do that! My idea was Karkat might take the initiative himself, since he still half believes in his own leadership qualities, I would think. But after seeing his response I didn't think that would happen, but now Dave wants to push him (and be his running mate?). Ah yes, I can just picture the debates between Jane and Karkat, that'd be so rich, her pushing all his buttons and him *thoughtfully* laying all her flaws to bear.

... Blaperile pointed out Echidna had said Karkat would still have a role in the new universe, guess it might actually be coming to this!

"DAVE: youre the ideal opponent to take her down and tbh just what this planet needs" Not the president this planet deserves, but the one it needs right now. Get it? Because Karkat's a Knight. :P

"KARKAT: I’M NOT A LEADER. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE ONE.KARKAT: JANE PROBABLY IS. ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, I’M AGREEING WITH YOU, SHE’S A COMPLETE ASSHOLE." Ah yes, of course, I see how it is. John should run for president. :P I know, I know, one small problem there. Hey, maybe that's something for the candy route!

Blaperile has a good point, Karkat's good at having people co-operate that would otherwise be at each other's throat. That's just basic world leadership skills. :P

"DAVE: you were meant to be a leader and youd be a good oneDAVE: just not the kind of leader you always thought youd be" I'm all here for supportive Dave, but I'd really like to see his arguments. They might be a little tainted, being so close to Karkat.

"DAVE: not a bellicose conquering dickhead who commands “fear and respect”" So, I'm not saying this is a comment on a certain contemporary world leader, but. But.

"DAVE: just a guy who is cool and nice and actually cares about stuff and everyone loves them for that reason" He could take an example by John on how to be a good palhoncho!

"KARKAT: PEOPLE DON’T LOVE ME!!!DAVE: youre breaking my heart dude" Confirmed. :P

"DAVE: it still amazes me how little awareness you genuinely seem to have of how insanely popular you are on this planetDAVE: its fucking adorable" Cool, so it's not like the planet has popular gods and less popular ones, then, awww.

"KARKAT: YOU’RE WRONG! ALL I SEE IS JAKE ON TV! AND JANE IN THE NEWS STORIES ABOUT HER STUPID BUSINESS, AND DIRK DOING WHATEVER... FUCKED UP SHIT HE’S DOING WITH HIS CELEBRITY PRESENCE??" Maybe Karkat's looking in the wrong places, maybe his fans are all on the internet! It's just that he's too much of a couch potato to take note, and maybe he even took a leave of absence from setting foot on social media & forums & the like, since he's aware how easily provoked he is?

"KARKAT: I SEE YOUR MUG A LOT TOO, MR. FUCKING POLITICAL PUPPET MASTER." I know Dave's face is literally on a mug on FFBF, so this is super funny.

"DAVE: you only see famous humans on tv because you just avoid all troll kingdom channels deliberately" Huh, so he's kind of fled the influence of troll culture, maybe he's had his fill of caste-oriented drama series, quadrantic romance and the like?

"Karkat hesitates, then slouches back into the couch cushions, restoring the customary foot and a half of space he and Dave usually keep between them except when watching horror movies, eating chips, or talking about the top six hundred stupid things Karkat saw earlier that day because he made his intrepid annual decision to go outside." So Karkat not being touchy is an informed skill more than anything, then. :P It seems it's only the truth half of the time.

"KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE BEING FAMOUS?" All the attention and the accompanying social responsability probably gets to him, I see where he's coming from.

"DAVE: well what better way to acquaint yourself with democracy than to take a crack at high office yourself" Oh yes, throw baby Karkles right into the deep end, why don't you.

"DAVE: dude seriously you would absolutely kill it with the troll voting blockDAVE: the entire kingdom would vote for youDAVE: theyd go ballistic if they heard a troll actually had the guts to run against jane, let alone one of their heroes" I do wonder what the votership division looks like, and whether gerrymandering is at play by giving the kingdoms equal votes despite disparities in population sizes, and stuff.

"DAVE: shes going to be a fucking disaster for the economy" Won't someone PLEASE think of the economy? :P Of course, a business person taking charge politically? That never ends well, or does it?

"DAVE: its about obama

Very slowly, Karkat raises his right palm and forcefully unites it with his own face." Dave's personal hero. And unlike John's, untainted in recent history. In fact, I'm kind of surprised Dave never made an Obamatop computing device. From Karkat's reaction, I'm guessing this is old hat to him by now.

"FREESTYLE OBAMA FAN FICTION" Truly, it is a shame this will never be shown in-comic, presumably.

Although I would really much like a Paradox Space story centered around it. :P

"KARKAT: DON’T YOU ALREADY HAVE A BASIS FOR KNOWING HOW HIS PRESIDENCY WOULD HAVE GONE?" I suppose he thinks B2 Obama doesn't count, because of his and Rose's alternate selves being around as well as Condesce, influencing the events on the planet to various degrees of subtlety?

"DAVE: i just dont like to think much about that time lineDAVE: it doesnt really feel like itsDAVE: canon?" PFffff, to him, no it wouldn't, since it's not his native timeline. And to us, the readers, it took a very outlandish turn after 2011.

"DAVE: the one i belonged to that i used to imagine had a real futureDAVE: that didnt involve meteors or a fish dictator or the american political landscape turning into a nightmarish daily jokeDAVE: i still wonder what could have beenDAVE: if the O man coulda saved us all" It's a good thing just imagining things doesn't spawn a new timeline, or Dave would've created one right there. ... Wait, that's actually our timeline he's thinking about, crap. Don't stop imagining it, Dave!

"DAVE: but instead he died probablyDAVE: or maybe not... maybe there was like an escape hatch in the white house that led to his own secret presidential session of sburbDAVE: what if hes just chillin there now" ... Together with the Nick of Time? :D

"DAVE: what if he died for our sins or somethingKARKAT: HMM! SOUNDS FUCKING MEANINGLESS." That's rich, coming from the Sufferer's second coming.

"DAVE: but i mean what if likeDAVE: he could be reborn" Ah, so they DIDN'T clone him. Yet.

Or, maybe this leads up to Dave figuratively seeing Karkat as the second coming of Obama, that's also possible.

"KARKAT: YES, WE’VE BEEN OVER YOUR OBAMA GOD TIER HEADCANONS TOO." What'd that be though. The Gent of Peace? (In a little wordplay on fedoraFreak's imagined god tier title.)

"DAVE: you could be the great president he never got the chance to beDAVE: you could give the people hope and shitDAVE: you could inspire trolls everywhereDAVE: or really all nonhuman kingdomsDAVE: show them anybody could be a presidentDAVE: not just an endless parade of rich humans who think they all know whats best for everybody" So... I guess President of Earth is a real title in this universe, not something Jane just came up with. And it seems, unsurprisingly, only a certain type gets elected. Some things never change, do they?

Karkat taking it up for the little guy would have nice parallels with WV rising up. And, points to Blaperile, also parallels with Obama proper, as the first black president.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I’M PRETTY SURE ANYONE *COULD* BE PRESIDENT?KARKAT: IT’S ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME THAT HUMANS JUST SEEM TO BE MORE NATURALLY AMBITIOUS, AND THAT’S WHY THE POWER STRUCTURES TOOK THE SHAPE THEY DID THE LAST FEW MILLENNIA.KARKAT: I MEAN, I DON’T CLAIM TO BE AN EXPERT ON XENOPSYCHOLOGY, BUT FOR SOME REASON I STRUGGLE TO IMAGINE A FUCKING SALAMANDER GETTING THE GUMPTION TO THROW HIS CRUMPLED HAT INTO THE RING FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF EARTH.KARKAT: OR THE CARAPACIANS FOR THAT MATTER?" Well, to be frank, the trolls are all rather ambitious by nature, so if only humans got elected until now, something must be off. I'll concede his point on the other species, even if he's only true speaking generally. I think that Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer, or WV, if they had been around, would absolutely have run for president.

"DAVE: karkat dont stereotypeDAVE: remember the mayorDAVE: remember how at one point a long time ago he raised an army and rebelled against an evil king" Awww, he remembers. WV probably told that story on the meteor. I do wonder how WV & PM are remembered in the stories by the carapaces. They deserve the same worship as the kids, in their own way.

"KARKAT: OH YEAHKARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.KARKAT: KIND OF MIND BOGGLING, REALLY.KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MISS THE MAYOR.DAVE: me too

Dave and Karkat both observe a moment of silence" Aww, his trials are not forgotten, if not always remembered. Good to see. And yes, small minds, great achievements - you shouldn't discount the other races just for their general demeanour!

"

Into this reverent silence, Dave says:DAVE: i think he would be totally in favor of my idea btw" Blasphemy, Dave, blashemy, no respect. Although, WV would've been rather supportive, I guess.

"DAVE: he loved democracyKARKAT: NO SHIT, HE WAS A FUCKING MAYOR." True, he hated self-serving kings but would probably have supported the idea of an elected head of state.

"DAVE: i mean forget all the lizards and chess guys for a secondDAVE: just imagine the good you could do for the troll kingdomDAVE: you would do a much better job of speaking to the injustices trolls face than jane wouldKARKAT: WHAT INJUSTICESDAVE: dude pleaseDAVE: where to even beginDAVE: i know earth c has generally been a pretty chill place to live but theres been some shit going on that is legit creepy" Oh boy, now we get to the meat of the issue. (Heh.) I do wonder if some events from the snaps are going to get addressed, like the existence of a royalist troll underground. It would only exist if there were subjects troll were not happy about.

It's jarring though, that a supposedly peaceful "end-game reward" world could be this fucked up under the surface.

"DAVE: all this “population regulation” bullshit thats been going on since we basically set up civilization and peaced out to the futureDAVE: when you think about its long term consequences its been fuckin weirdDAVE: like the government being responsible for troll reproduction through cloning" Hmm, so did they decide not to reinstate the drones? I guess the whole "contribute or die" mentality had to go, but simply relying on cloning to provide the material for the matriorb seems... off? Especially if the cloning isn't done with Sburb machine, genetic defects could pop up this way.

"DAVE: like it makes sense on paper at first, no mother grub, gotta keep the race going and expand the population for a good while and get the numbers upDAVE: until kanaya gets here and hatches the grub and then i guess a system of “natural reproduction” can take over in theory but" Oh, so... That was the system they used until the kids arrived, a state-regulated form of reproduction. Kind of totalitarian, but then, trolls take that shit easier than other races.

And yeah, the only grub around is the one from the matriorb Roxy materialized, that's... A very risky thing, makes me think of eggs and baskets. Couldn't they have cloned the grub by now, now the kids have been here several years?

"i guess were supposed to think its all fixed rightDAVE: back to Trolls As Usual or somethingDAVE: but do you really think the human kingdom is going to just sit back and let the troll race proliferate wildly all over earthDAVE: turn it into another alternian empireDAVE: folks know the historyDAVE: they know about the condesce and all the violence and the hemospectrum and shit" I'm here for Dave as Troll Ally, but I like that he isn't just blindly defending the trolls, he knows what the humans might've been thinking, fearing what could happen.

But that's a worst case scenario, and while you should prepare for it, you should still hope for better, and it seems the humans haven't been doing so.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I KNOW ALL THIS.KARKAT: IN FACT, *YOU* KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE YOU’VE HEARD ME SAY IT TO KANAYA A THOUSAND TIMES." So... Karkat is way more politically inclined than he's making [strike](out with)[/strike] himself out to be.

"DAVE: you think a crocker administration is really going to go through with plans to deregulate troll breeding?DAVE: she knows exactly what her base wantsDAVE: i can already see the dog whistles in this press release she isnt gonna do shit" Wow, from Dave's perspective Jane really isn't a hero any longer. What kind of behaviour did she even display after they arrived in the future, that he honestly believes she's a fascist xenophone???

"DAVE: and really manDAVE: if nothing else and i truly mean NOTHINGDAVE: pleaseDAVE: for the love of christDAVE: think of the economy" PFfffffff. It's funny how, in being so liberal-minded, Dave is still very focused on safeguarding the economy. :P I know, I know, it's more a meme to him that anything else, I suppose, but still.

"DAVE: jane has this reputation for being awesome at business but imo she actually just sucksDAVE: she doesnt seem to be even remotely aware how much shes leveraged her status as a god to become a bigshot trillionaireDAVE: i think she thinks its all pure business acumen but i think she doesnt really know what shes doingDAVE: fuckers left and right just be tripping all day long to give her money hand over fistDAVE: of course shes gonna milk her biz cred for all its worth in this election" ... This is just one big Trump allegory, ain't it? Oh, I don't doubt Jane might be overestimating herself in some ways, but she's also not a complete idiot. This has more to do with out-of-comic events than in-comic ones, probably.

"DAVE: shes probably a much better politician than a businesswoman actually she is likeDAVE: sinister as fuck? i meanDAVE: she hides it well dont get me wrongDAVE: also she isnt too hard on the eyes which wont hurt her chances one bitDAVE: but shes going to be BRUTAL on their pocketbooks just you wait" I was wondering what ever happened to Dave's physical attraction to Jane, it hasn't waivered I see, he's just seen parts of her personality he doesn't like.

"DAVE: she doesnt know the nuances of sound comprehensive fiscal policy like i doDAVE: my skills are fucking legendaryDAVE: i manipulated the stock market to assume control of the literal majority of all currency on the planet once" If he's talking about the LOHACSE, it was a much smaller planet and he had help from an all-seeing eye in the form of Terezi. Also, time travel.

"DAVE: granted the economy was run by lobotomized reptiles but stillDAVE: wait that was speciesist sorry" Heheh, I like Dave recognizing when he's almost a hypocrite, it's a show of character.

"DAVE: ok if shit goes sideways i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles and pauper chess men standing in bread lines or anythingDAVE: thats just the nature of alchemy-based post-scarcity economies the depressions tend to be pretty mild" Oooh, cool, so the economy is basically still only there for show, mostly, people won't be bereft of essentials, that's good to know. Also good to know is that alchemy is still around. I wonder if it was reinvented in the 5000 years since the creation of the planet? Or reverse engineered from Sburb machines?

"DAVE: she sucks and shouldnt be president the end" I'm starting to get the idea Dave might be having black romantic upflares with regard to Jane. It's starting to read like how John would talk about Terezi.

"DAVE: just please tell me youll do thisDAVE: do it for the trolls do it for the economy do it for the mayorDAVE: but most of allDAVE: (sniff)

Dave wipes an invisible tear from beneath the rim of his sunglasses.DAVE: do it for obama" Pff, and here I was thinking he would drop the pretense of not being serious for just a bit, hahah. Guess Bro's way of ironically telling the truth is still hard-baked into him.

"KARKAT: I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.

Dave smiles." Awwww, I love that he can cause that reaction. Not sure if it was 1-pixel smile or something bigger, but I also like how the sentence describing Dave smiling is just two words, in a sort of verbal callback to the tiny, 1-pixel smile.

"KARKAT: SOKARKAT: I’LL DO IT.KARKAT: WHY NOT.DAVE: nice!" W00t, Karkat for president! He'd be absolutely brutal in debates, yet smart enough to delegate the stuff he doesn't know about to other people, I think.

"outrageous flair for subversive anti establishment messaging and propaganda" Dave's not yet shown that skill himself, but he knows about his B2 self, so I guess it counts.

"your charisma and likability and shitKARKAT: YEAH.KARKAT: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT...KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN FAKE THOSE THINGS WELL ENOUGH." Chalk one up for Karkat being self aware.

"DAVE: oh alsoDAVE: your weirdly sincere humilityKARKAT: I PREFER THE TERM “SELF LOATHING” ACTUALLY." ... or this. XD Well, if it gets the job done, loathing & humility can be equalized.

"Jake is rambling out a truly dire piece of slam poetry that involves—with zero hint of irony—the terms batty-fang and mad as hops." Okay, so Jake was doing the rapping himself too. Guess his vocabulary hasn't expanded much.

"Dave’s “least psychologically revealing SBaHJ strip.”" ... I do wonder what that could be, I really do. "i haz the car", maybe?

"Karkat sighs and rubs the space between his horns." I read it wa--as the bridge of his nose at first, since I thought he's exasperated at Jake here, but maybe I'm wrong and he's just pensive.

"it’s been a long time since he’s properly used a sword." ... and how long since he did so improperly? *eyebrows*

"DAVE: inspire themDAVE: i dont think you need any fancy speeches to do that youll be a natural" Hmm, I dunno Dave, he used to do speeches all the time. It got results even if they were not well received. :P

"Dave scribble political ambitions directly into the shittiest paint program on his OS." He wrote an MSPaint JPEG clone for just the occasion, didn't he?

"DAVE: time to talk some strategyDAVE: we need to rally as much high profile support to our cause as we canDAVE: but there are some uhDAVE: “lines of loyalty” to figure outKARKAT: WHAT?DAVE: i mean which of our friends are going to side with us and which ones will side with janeDAVE: pretty much all of us are famous and popular all over earth to some degreeDAVE: some of us more so with certain kingdoms than othersDAVE: so some key endorsements going either way could swing the whole election" Wow, Dave, you're a natural campaign leader, good thinking! But, with John gone, that'd leave an uneven number of the gods for voting! Who'll have the swing vote then, Calliope?

Huh, Dave seems to think Roxy would be neutral, I wonder why? Maybe because Calliope is enamoured with trolls, and yet Jane is a good friend of them both.

"DAVE: as for jade...KARKAT: ... " Oh boy. Something happened. I thought Jade was simply out, but... Did they have a falling out over something? Something Roxy & John didn't know about?

Or is this another psyche?

Although, there might have been something else, maybe Jade has grown closer to Jane on Earth C, they are related after all.

"DAVE: uhDAVE: i think its fair to say shes going to be on our sideKARKAT: YEAHDAVE: maybe a little too much so" Pffff, hah, okay.

... You can take this to mean as "Jade is Team Karkat/Dave all the way" or "Jade will defend her husbands like the feral beast she partially is". I wonder if we'll get some more insight in the troubles it has brought the two Knights, sharing a house with a furry cosplayer. :D

"DAVE: i think we gotta sort out likeDAVE: a hierarchical approach to campaign strategyDAVE: keep it organized and disciplined with roles well definedDAVE: not let things get too murky with uhDAVE: personal shit?KARKAT: I THINK WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE HERE, DAVE." So they don't want to fall in the trappings of favoritism. Or maybe they just know Jade doesn't have it in her run, politics and campaigning in a serious manner. She might get bored.

"DAVE: uh lets see who elseKARKAT: EGBERT?" Oh boy. The bomb has dropped. Let's see if Dave knows something about what John is going to go up to.

It's starting to look like John leaving will have dire consequences in Earth C as well. Seems we already have a B plot, and not it hasn't even been one page.

"DAVE: john should be easy to convince but im not sure how much of a factor hell be in this campaignDAVE: have no idea how long hell be away on this “mission” rose mentionedKARKAT: WHAT? WHAT MISSION?" Oooooh, cool! So at least Dave was informed, I'm glad. It doesn't seem likely anymore that John can't return, now that we've established this scene is taking place in the present.

"DAVE: dunno shes been hella cagey about itDAVE: swore me to secrecy until the right time whenever that is" Pretty sure Rose just meant the right time to be "whenever you flap your mouth about it to Karkat". :P

"DAVE: anyway his endorsement would go a long way in swinging the consort kingdom" Points again in the direction that the Candy route will be equally long as the Meat route, huh.

"DAVE: swinging them our way should help a lot but it wont be enough to decide the whole thingDAVE: consorts overwhelm the other kingdoms in sheer numbers but due to unscrupulous gerrymandering, all kinds of fucked up voter suppression policies and some electoral “counterbalancing” measures to account for their ridiculous population growth rate their voting power per capita is kind of patheticDAVE: also its hard to drive turnout" So, it seems democracy only goes so far in securing an equal voting system, even in paradise. :/ And, I continue to be impressed by Dave's political knowledge, good going Dave!

"DAVE: this may come as a shock but legions of easily distracted low information amphibians primarily concerned with eating bugs and farming god damned mushrooms arent the most politically motivated demographic" Yay, the mushrooms are still a thing!

"DAVE: so to get them out to the polls well need to get them REALLY excited" Give them a rumpled hat, that'll work.

"DAVE: jake is a huge wild card hereDAVE: im sure his endorsement would be completely up for grabs" Oh, so I guess he and Jane never really talked things out...

"DAVE: he could go any way including just getting turned off by the whole thing and staying “apolitical”" Sounds about right, yeah, he just wants to be left alone in most things.

"DAVE: jake is the only one of us whos wildly popular in all four kingdoms" The English charisma, the doom of quadrants everywhere.

"DAVE: theres no way she doesnt understand the political stakes" There's a higher than zero chance Jake could just change his vote every hour depending on his mood. Try following that in the exit polls...

"KARKAT: SO...KARKAT: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE JAKESTAKES THEN.DAVE: pretty muchDAVE: the jakestakes 2.0KARKAT: WHATKARKAT: THERE WAS A 1.0?KARKAT: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?DAVE: oh thats likeDAVE: a whole storyKARKAT: IS THIS GOING TO BE ANOTHER ANECDOTE ABOUT THE JAKE SQUAD I WON’T CARE ABOUT AND DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR?DAVE: that sounds like the exact kind of opinion youd have about it so yeah" I'm guessing the Jake Squad is Karkat's affective nickname for the B2 kids. And yes, 1.0 was probably everyone vying for Jake's affection pre-entry.

"DAVE: hmmDAVE: shit hold upKARKAT: WHAT?" Maybe there's already a spot on for Jake supporting Jane. Seems like she'd have one prepared to show, shrewd businesswoman and all.

"DAVE: dirks calling meKARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT?DAVE: idk he just calls me out of the blue from time to time to talk shitDAVE: usually about nothing whatsoever" Oh, will Dave meet up with Dirk, like how John went from Rose to Roxy?

"DAVE: hell probably joke about how he needs me to cut off his headKARKAT: HUH???DAVE: its a running gag hes been running into the ground for yearsDAVE: motherfucker is dedicated to his memes ill give him that" Well, we are talking about the same dude who not just beats a dead horse, he poaches it. And it's not like it's unwarranted, it's one short of a pattern with Dirk.

"KARKAT: YOU DON’T THINK HE’S TRYING TO DO SOME...KARKAT: RECONNAISSANCE WORK HERE?KARKAT: LIKE, INTEL GATHERING?" While that would be up to snuff for Dirk, I would wager he'd feel his "bro" and his kin to be off limits. Then again, he can be cold when he needs to be.

"DAVE: ok well i missed the call while we were bullshitting about itDAVE: but yeah ill just call him back now

Dave hits the callback button. On the television, Dirk’s phone begins ringing." ... He was calling live or what? While on television? But they didn't notice him calling Dave on the screen before.

I would put it on the autoresponder but Arquiusprite is AWOL.

"The whole show has stopped so that Dirk can take this call. The camera zooms in on where he’s casually lying on the mat, bruised and a little bit bloody. In the background, Jake strikes an attractive, cocked-hip pose. He’s spinning a revolver around on one finger, affecting an aura of attractive indifference, but the look he’s shooting his sparring partner is caught halfway between confused and exasperated." Dirk took to being a god of unrelentless power like a fish to water. Meanwhile, Jake is miffed his fisticuffs are being momentarily paused.

"DIRK: Got your sword handy?" Ooohhhh. If their show is like a wrestling show, then this is the "heel" calling in back up taking on the "face", right? Dave's going to be a little rusty, though, since the narration said... ... Wait, using it for fake fighting isn't like using the sword properly, is it? PFfff.

"DAVE: alwaysDIRK: Good. See, I’m in sort a bind here.DIRK: And I’m afraid there’s only one way out.KARKAT: OK, I’M FUCKING LEAVING." You succeeded in getting Karkat to leave the couch, Dave, mission accomplished.

---

I really liked seeing Karkat and Dave interact, and I liked that it wasn't just fluff or zany disputes. Seems like there's a story to unfold in Earth C.

I suppose that on Meat 3, the perspective'll switch, but maybe it'll be a Dirk/Dave interaction.

That, or before that happens, we'll get the first "in-canon" page with John.

I had wondered today whether we should check if Homestuck itself was updated, with new pages for John's arrival back in canon. Half-serious I was, but lemme just check the Homestuck log. ... Okay, no. :P

[literallyprentissstwin]

show me you care. - criminal minds x victorious

Characters: Emily & Aaron Hotchner (Hotchniss, and yes, they are already married here); Jade (Hotchniss daughter, from Victorious), Beck (Victorious), the team of Season 7, the gang of Hollywood Arts (the name oft he school doesn´t change, only the location :D) (Victorious)

 Warnings: none really, swearing (those of you who watch Victorious know how Jade is so), fluff (yep, that´s a warning)

 A/N: hi, so i had this idea in my head for a little while now. I always wanted to write a Hotchniss OS with them having a daughter and since i bingewatched too much Victorious lately (blame Netflix), i wanted to combine those two shows. It´s not necessary that you know or watch Victorious to read this OS.

thank you to @uncomfie for prereading and calming me down! :) 

also this is the song Jade is singing in this fic :) 

 For those of you who don´t know Victorious: it´s actually a kids/teen show about a bunch of teens going to a school for actors, writers and singers called Hollywood Arts. The show is set in Los Angeles, California. For this OS I needed to change the location to something closer, sorry. The character I chose to play Hotchniss daughter, Jade West, reminds me of Emily in her teen years. So I chose her as the Hotchniss child. I can link you some videos of the show if you are interested and to get a better impression of Jade.  

I hope you enjoy reading this OS & feel free to leave some feedback, i´m dying for feedback! <3

wordcount: 4,6k

 aileen xx

„If I see any more of these case files on my desk, I think I´m gonna be sick.“, JJ groaned as she opened the next file to start working on it. 

„Agreed. I could use some coffee. Anyone want some?“, Reid asked as he got up and stretched his muscles.

„Well, I could use some.“, Derek, JJ and Reid heard someone say from behind them.

Derek was the first one to turn around and a small smile creeped up his face.

„Well, if that isn´t our Mini-Prentiss and her Mister Charming.“, he laughed and got up to hug Jade.

„Yeah, don´t call me that.“, Jade said after she pulled away from him and only gave a short wave towards Reid & JJ, before she took Beck´s hand again and leant onto him for support.

„What can we help you with?“, JJ wanted to know as she got up from her desk and walked closer towards the teen.

„I´m looking for my parents. I called them like a billion times today and no one picked up the stupid phone. So I decided to come here during lunch break and talk to them.“, Jade explained.

„We´ve been busy all morning with paperwork. Maybe they overheard you calling and..“, Reid started to explain but got interrupted by Jade.

„Yeah, whatever. Are they here? It´s really important.“, Jade asked impatiently and tapped with her foot.

„They are in your Dad´s office going over a case file.“, Derek answered and pointed towards the office with the closed blinds and the closed door.

„Thanks, D!“, Jade smiled before she made her way up the stairs with her boyfriend.

Carefully, she knocked at the door and waited for a reply.

„Come in.“, she heard the serious voice of her father. Slowly, she opened the door and was met with her parents looking at her and Beck, small smiles showing on their faces.

„Hey Mom, Hey Dad.“, Jade greeted them as she walked towards them so give them a quick hug.

„Hey honey, Hi back.“, Aaron greeted back at which Beck only replied witha slight wave.

„I called you. Many times.“, Jade began talking and she stood between her parents next to her fathers desk, while Beck still stood in the doorframe.

„Oh god, sorry. We´ve been busy all morning and didn´t have time to check our phones.“, Emily said as she took out her phone to see that her daughter was indeed right. She had 50 missed calls and basically many more unanswered text messages from her.

„Yeah..it´s okay..I´m here now.“, Jade replied, „there´s something we need to talk about.“

„What is it? Are you in trouble?“, Hotch immediatley asked, concerned.

„What..no, Dad. I´m not in trouble. It´s just…you remember me talking about the Full Moon Jam. This big gig at our school Friday night.“, Jade began explaining and looking at her parents.

Hotch and Emily looked at eachother, both not really remembering what their daughter was talking about. They tried to hide it, but since Jade was the daugther of two highprofessional profilers, she knew what was going on.

„You forgot, did you?“, she said, a bit of disappointment lacing in her voice.

„No, we didn´t it´s just..“, Emily began, but got interrupted by Jade.

„Yeah whatever. Anyway, what I wanted to ask was if you´ll be there and see me perform. Because Sikowitz really needs to know until today and i told him i´m gonna talk to you about it. So, are you coming? It´s in two days. Please. “, Jade asked.

Hotch and Emily looked at eachother and sighed. Aaron got up and walked closer to his daughter and right from there on, Jade knew what their answer was.

„Jade, we would love to come, really, but..“, Hotch started but also he was interrupted by his daugher.

„But you can´t, because you´ve got to work and work is important. I got it, thanks.“, Jade hissed and grabbed her bag she had dropped onto the floor before she started to turn around only to be stopped by her father.

„Jade..“, he said, but Jade wasn´t having any of it.

„No, it´s okay Dad. I´m used to it. How could I possibly think that for one time, I would be more important than this damn job? I´m so dumb.“, Jade answered as she turned around, staring at her father.

„Maybe if you would have told us earlier, there would have been a chance to come, but you know our job.“, Emily explained and tried to reason with her daughter, but it seemed like it only made things worse.

„If I would have told you earlier? Mom, I´m going to this school now for over two years. You actually chose this school for me and yet, you haven´t been to a play I was in or which I wrote, you haven´t seen me perform yet. It´s been two fucking years. And every fucking time, I told you early enough, but everytime, something else was more important than I was. So don´t make this out to be my fault okay? Because the only one´s to blame are you.“, Jade screamed and with this, she turned around and ran off, leaving her boyfriend and her shocked parents behind.

„I-I better go now too. I-It was nice seeing you, Mr. And Mrs. Hotchner.“, Beck said as he waved goodbye and left the office as well to go after Jade.

„She hates us, Aaron. What kind of parents are we?“, Emily stuttered, tears gathering in her eyes at the realization of how much they must have hurt their daughter. Hotch just stepped forward and embraced his wife in a tight hug, but as much as he tried to console Emily, he was plagued by the same thoughts. Thoughts about what terrible parents they were.

Right after the fight between Jade and her parents, she and Beck had rushed out of the building and back to their school where they met up with the rest of their friends.

„What´s up?“, Beck greeted them as he and Jade sat down at their usual table.

„We were just talking about the Full Moon Jam on Friday and..“, Tori said at which Jade got up and left.

„Wow, what did I do this time?“, Tori wondered. She and Jade don´t have the best of relationship and wouldn´t consider themselves as friends, yet.

„It´s nothing you did, Tori. Don´t worry. It´s just…the Full Moon Jam might not be Jade´s favorite topic to talk about today.“, Beck explained and started to eat his food he had gotten on the way back from school.

„What do you mean? She can be really proud of herself because she´s singing this solo.“, André asked, wondering what got his friend so upset.

„Well, Jade and I, we´ve been visiting her parents at work before we came to you guys because she asked them to come and watch her perform on Friday night.“, Beck started and basically everyone at the table knew how this story might end. „They said no?“, Robbie guessed.

„Yep. They are too busy with work. Jade just got really angry and frustrated and they fought. Then she just ran off and yeah. On the way back here, she didn´t say a word. You know, i´ve seen jade in basically every mood, but this one? I think she´s really sad and hurt that her parents declined her invitation again.“, Beck finished talking and looked at his friends.

„I feel so bad for her. I mean, have her parents ever been to a play before where she was in or which she wrote?“, Tori asked. She had just recently joined Hollywood Arts and didn´t know her friends all that well up to now. „No, I don´t think so.“, Cat answered, „at least, I can´t remember. I don´t even know how her parents look like.“

The group sighed. Suddenly, everyone lost appetite and felt quite bad for her friend.

„I wish there is anything we could do.“, Tori sighed to which the friends agreed.

„Yeah..me too. But for now, I´m gonna go and look for her. See you later.“, Beck said and got up, looking for his girlfriend.

It was already after 10pm when Emily and Aaron finally arrived back home. Why was paperwork always so much more work than being away on a case? They had tried to get in contact with Jade all day long, but she always declined the calls or didn´t reply to any textmessages. Arriving back home, the couple was hoping to talk with their daughter and explain everything to her though they knew that it was probably too late for that.

Entering the house, Emily noticed Jade´s favorite boots next to the cupboard in the hall way, a sign that she must be at home. „Jade, we´re home.“, Emily shouted through the house as she got rid of her coat and shoes. Aaron did the same and followed his wife to their daughters room.

Emily carefully knocked at the door and waited for a reply, but nothing happened. Slowly, she opened the door and saw Jade laying on the bed with her earpods in.

„Jade.“, she tried again, but the young girl didn´t seem to hear her mother. This is why Emily decided to walk towards her and tapped on her shoulder.

„Jesus Christ. Are you trying to kill me?“, Jade screamed as she got kind of frightened since her back had been facing the door and she didn´t hear anyone coming in.

„Sorry, we were calling for you, but we got no reaction.“, Aaron explained. „Oh.“, Jade said, but put her earpods back in and turned the music up more. Aaron rolled his eyes and bent down to put the earpods away from his daughter.

„Hey, I was enjoying this music.“, Jade hissed angrily and sat up, trying to get her phone back.

„And you can have it back any second, but first we need to talk.“, Emily said as she sat down on the bed opposite of Jade.

„There is nothing to talk about.“, Jade snorted and laid back in her bed facing the ceiling and staring up to it.

„You sure? Because I personally think there is a lot we need to talk about.“, Hotch argued and took a seat in the chair across from Jade´s bed.

„No. Don´t think so. Can I have my phone back?“, Jade asked, not daring to look at her parents.

„Jade!“, Emily warned her daughter.

„What, Mom?“, Jade said angrily as she sat up, „I got it, okay? You´re busy, you can´t come watch me perform, I´m used to getting my hopes up, but them being smashed down in a heart beat. So, it´s fine. Really. I´m used to the fact, that this damn FBI job is more important than I am.“, Jade got up and began to look for her favorite hoodie in her cupboard.

„You know that this is not true, Jade. We love you more than our job.“, Hotch argued. „Really? Haha, okay…well, then I´m either blind or you´re bad at showing it, because I can´t happen to see that you´re caring.“, Jade laughed.

„Look, we´re really sorry, but you know Strauss and everything that happened last year and we really need to..“, Emily started but got interrupted by Jade.

„Yeah, yeah…You´re sorry. Right. I´m sorry. For thinking that my feelings matter. For thinking that for once, I would be your number one priority. I mean, you actually wanted me to go to this school in first place, yet you never were around to see any of my plays or shows or whatever.“

„Jade..“, Aaron began.

„No…I was always the one who had no one with her. Everyone had always some kind of company: Tori, Beck, André, Robbie, Cat, hell even Sinjin. But me, I´m always the loner. The one who no one cares about. There is always something that comes before me, an unsub, paperwork, Strauss. I stopped counting after it happened the second time. But you know what? I´m done. I´ve got it. Really. I won´t bother you with it any longer.“, Jade kept on talking why she at the same time got up and gathered some stuff in her bag and grabbed her keys.

„Jade….we´re really sorry.“, Emily said, choking on tears.

„Yeah..whatever.“, Jade hissed and walked past them out of her own room to the front door where she put on her shoes and turned around to her parents again, „I´m at Beck´s for the night, if you even care. Can I have my phone now?“, she asked and held out her hand, waiting for her Dad to put the phone back into it. When he gave her the phone, she turned to the door and openend it and before Hotch and Emily even knew, she was gone.

„She hates us.“, Emily sobbed as she lay next to Aaron in their shared bed.

„No, Emily. She doesn´t hate us. She´s just angry and sad. It´s her way of coping with it.“, the man tried to calm down his wife. He held her close to him and rubbed her back in soothing circles.

„No, Aaron. She hates us and to be honest, she has every right to do so. I mean what kind of parents are we? We always knew that it would be hard to have a child and both of us working in such a stressful and busy job, but never in my life did I plan to do such a bad job as a mother. I always wanted to be better than my own mother and look at me now, I´m even worse than she was.“

„Okay, Em, stop right there.“, Aaron warned as he carefully sat up, bringing Emily with him, „First of all, you´re not a bad mother. Get this out of your head okay? Yes, we knew that it would be stressful and yes, I didn´t expect it to be so hard, but let´s take this as a chance to be better, to grow. Eventually, Jade will calm down and she´ll understand. I know, this doesn´t make things better and we have a lot of work to do to make it up to her. But we´re not giving up, okay? We can do this.“

„I just feel so bad. Did you see the look in her eyes? Like, she is always the one who doesn´t care or doesn´t feel bothered by any of this. But when I looked her in the eyes, I saw me. I saw how hurt she was, how sad and disappointed. This gig, this school means everything to her. She never ever let us in before. She mostly never shares things with us that she cares so deeply about because she´s scared of getting hurt or rejected. And guess what we did?“, Emily explained and sighed.

And right in that moment, Aaron knew that his wife was right. Jade was one of the girls, that wasn´t scared to speak their mind. She doesn´t have a problem with speaking back and she always stands her ground. She´s stubborn and hardworking, just like her mother, and she barely let people in, not even her boyfriend Beck. Because she was scared of getting hurt. And this is exactly what happened now, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt bad about it, and if he was completley honest with himself, he totally deserved to feel like that.

„I hate them.“, Jade exclaimed as she let herself fall down onto Beck´s couch.

„Jade..“,Beck started but got interrupted by his girlfriend.

„No, I mean it. I have this feeling they don´t really care about me going to this school and me living my dream there. But I don´t get why, because they send me there in first place. And can´t they understand that I don´t wanna be a stupid federal agent or lawyer or whatever?“, Jade screamed and threw her hands around. Beck quickly grabbed them and held them down.

„Stop.“, he simply said and looked Jade deep into her eyes and this was that moment, when the gates broke and all the emotions Jade had inside her broke loose. Jade was never the one to cry, she never openly shared her emotions, but right now, she felt safe to do so and all she felt was hurt and sadness. Beck gathered his sobbing girlfriend in his arms and tried to calm her down.

„It´s okay, babe. It´s gonna be okay.“, Beck whispered as he soothingly rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.

„I-I don´t know..I-I never felt this..this vulnerable. Hell, I never cried. What´s wrong with me?“, Jade exclaimed as she carefully leaned back against the sofa.

„You´re also human, Jade. Eventhough you don´t wanna see it. You´re a human being with feelings and those feelings get hurt just as easily as any others. That´s normal and it´s okay to feel things, to feel sad and overwhelmed and most importantly, it´s okay to show those emotions. You don´t need to hide them, at least not from me. I love you no matter what.“, Beck said and he brought Jade back into his embrace, the teenager clinging to his shirt.

„I don´t know what I would do without you. I´m sorry for being annoying, most of the time.“, Jade said at which Beck laughed.

„I wouldn´t have it any other way.“, he smiled down at Jade and again kissed her forehead before silence spread between the couple.

„I just thought that this one time, only this one time, they would actually care about what I´m doing in school, that they would show interest. I don´t know why I actually believed that this would happen, but here I am. I mean, I get it. This job is important, I understand it. But maybe…“

„No, Jade. This job can´t be more important than you. There is no way in hell that parents should put their jobs before their kids. I mean, okay…it´s a quite stressful job and you know your parents got my respect for doing it, but there should be a way to actually combine work and private life. It shouldn´t be either work or private life. Never in a billion years.“, Beck argued. It hurt his heart to see his strong girlfriend like this and he was ready to punch somebody. He understood that this job was important to the Hotchners, but he didn´t understand how Jade could only come in second place?

Jade sighed and gently laid against Beck´s shoulder closing her eyes. „I know, but there is nothing I can do to change their mind. Guess I have to live with the fact that they will never be interested in me or my life. But at least I got you.“, she said as she smiled and looked up to her boyfriend.

Beck smiled back and leaned forward to place a kiss on her lips. „Always.“

It turned Friday, and still things hadn´t changed in the Hotchner household. After the night at Beck´s place, Jade had returned home after school only to find the house empty, but what did she expect? The tension between the family was so thick that one could practically cut it with a knife. Ever since Jade had returned back home from school and her parents back home from work, she didn´t leave her room and if she did, then only to go to the bathroom or to grab something to drink. Later that night, she left to go back to school for rehearsals, not bothering to tell her parents where she´s going or what she´s doing. In general, she hasn´t been talking to them ever since the fight on Wednesday. At work, Aaron had asked Rossi and JJ, the godparents of Jade for advice, but nothing they told him could make him feel better about himself. Rossi even made him feel worse.

 And now, it turned Friday. The day of Jade´s big gig. The whole school was there, all the people getting ready to perform. All the people showing her families around the school. Everyone, but Jade. Her heart hurt and was full of sadness, but she needed to focus on her song. So she went to get ready, not knowing that the evening would take an interesting turn.

„What are you two clowns still doing here?“, Rossi exclaimed as he entered Hotch´s office in which Emily was also working on her paper work. Ever since the two of them got married, she basically didn´t use her desk anymore and always did her work up in Aaron´s office.

„We have work to do and..“, Hotch explained, but Rossi wasn´t having any of it.

„No, no you don´t.“, he walked towards the desk and grabbed the casefiles from them.

„Dave..“, Emily argued but got shushed by the Italian.

„Now you two listen to me very closely. There is this girl, who happens to be my little stubborn, but talented and loveable goddaughter and she´s having this gig at her school tonight. She´s terribly sad that her parents chose work over her. Now, I don´t know about you, but I think you have a lot of making up to do. I suggest you start by going there.“, he said and placed the files back on Hotch´s desk, but still out of his reach.

„But..“, Emily started, but got again interrupted by the italian. „No buts, Emily. Show Jade that you care about her, that you are interested in the things she does. Show her that she can still trust you.“, David argued and looked at both of his friends, „you better decided quick, because the gig is about to start and you still have to go there and it´s rushhour.“

Hotch and Emily looked at eachother, but in Dave´s opinion, they were taking too much time.

„Okay, let´s get up, up, up.“, he ushered them out of their chairs and handed them their coats and pushed them out of the office, „go! Hurry! You don´t wanna be late! I expect a full report later tonight, when I come over to your place. You´re welcome.“, David smiled as he watched his two friends leave.

„Now I know where Jade got her stubborness from.“, he joked and the rest of the time laughed at it, hoping that the couple would arrive in time.

It was almost stage time for Jade and she kept looking through the crowd, still no sign of her parents. Sadly, she shook her head and went backstage to get ready when André and Beck walked towards her.

„You ready?“, André wanted to know.

„Yeah, whatever. Let´s get it over with.“, she replied at which André nodded and quickly left.

„Hey, you´re gonna be amazing.“, Beck tried to reassure his girlfriend and kissed her before he also left to go into the crowd.

Jade took a deep breath before she heard her name being called out and she had to enter the stage. She barely had any time to skim the crowd one last time before the music began to play and she started to sing along.

 You think you know me

But you don't know me

You think you own me

But you can't control me

You look at me

And there's just one thing that you see

So listen to me

Listen to me

 As loud as she could, she continued singing the song she had wrote for this special day. She had been so proud o fit and so desperatley wanted to show it to her parents, but they didn´t care, so here she was. Alone. Again. Expressing all her feelings in that one song that meant the world to her.

 You push me back

I push you back

Harder, harder

You scream at me

I scream at you

Louder, l-l-l-l-louder

I'm dangerous, I'm warning you

But you're not afraid of me

And I can't convince you

You don't know me

 She continued singing like that until the song was over and she felt kind of relieved. The crowd seemed to love her song. At least, someone cared. After she bowed down, she shared a quick smile with Beck who was sitting front row, before she went backstage and was greeted by all her friends.

„This was so good, Jade.“, Cat said and hugged her friend.

„Thank you!“, Jade smiled and hugged her back, one thing she barely did.

„She´s right. This was insane. You can be proud of you.“, Tori agreed, smiling at Jade.

„Thanks, Vega. I appreciate this.“

„Hey, look who I found in the crowd.“, the group heard Beck say and at his voice, Jade turned around not trusting her eyes.

„Mom? Dad? What…what are you doing here?“, Jade stuttered in disbelieve. Her parents, they were here, right in front of her. Wait? Had they beend there to watch her perform as well?

„We didn´t want to miss our little girl performing her first selfwritten song.You were fantastic. Absolutley brilliant. We´re so proud of you.“, Hotch smiled as he stepped closer and carefully hugged his daughter.

„B-But work..“, Jade stuttered after she let go of her father and hugged her mother. „Nothing in this world should be more important than you, Jade. We learned our lesson and we´re so so sorry. I hope you can give us a second chance.“, Emily asked her and Jade looked at Beck who gave her a quick nod.

„Okay.“, Jade smiled and again, hugged both of her parents, „but you know I´m still mad. Kinda.“

„We know and you have every right to be. But we feel really bad.“, Hotch said again.

„But wait, how did you change your mind and come here?“, Tori asked from behind the family.

„Well, we may have had a little help from your godfather.“, Aaron stuttered. „He basically kicked us out of the office.“, Emily admitted.

„You gotta love Dave.“, Jade laughed.

The parents smiled at their daughter, feeling relieved that she was willing to give them a second chance.

„Wait, you said that you wanted to make it up to me right?“, Jade smirked as she looked at her parents.

„Oh, oh no, i know this look.“, Emily said as she looked at her husband.

„Well, maybe we could all go out to dinner now. I´ll bring my friends..and Tori, and you bring your friends. And then we all gonna get sushi and you pay.“, Jade suggested.

Hotch groaned, but got hit in the side by his wife and said: „Of course, that´s the least we can do.“

„Great, meet you at the Sushi palace by 10?“, Jade asked.

„Anything for you.“, Emily said.

“I know every family has its problems. But I admire those that stick together.” - Unknown

unedited, sorry for any grammar or language mistakes. 

[ @dontshootmespence @veroinnumera @ultrarebelheart @illegalcerebral @cherrybombs-and-rabbitholes @bucky-smiles @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @jennferjareau @crimindsaspe @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @ssaunitchief @docspencerreid @uncomfie @lookwhatyoumademequeue @tenaciousarcadeexpert @marvelfanlife @sam-carter-in-training @sweater-vest-reid @crimeshowtrash @acespence @spencerreidreads @idkbutspencer @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @princesswagger14 @dionnaea ]

[eternal-echoes]

How are u liking the Kyoto arc so far?

I still like the anime better. I like how the anime just fastforwarded to some stuff, like the meeting of Kaoru and Misao, instead of having Kaoru and Yahiko working at Shirobeko. I remember when watching the anime I just couldn't wait for Kaoru and Kenshin to meet again. I almost wanted to bingewatch the series because of that but I told myself to be patient. Though I always wondered about how in the anime how come Aoshi felt Soujiro spying on him but didn't sense Kenshin among the crowds in the streets of Kyoto. Turns out that's now how the story went in the anime. It's still exciting to read the Kyoto arc manga, though. It's nice to go through the journey again. Some of the small details implied in the anime that I missed, I finally get them in the manga. Like this one:

Before reading this part in the manga, I sorta got from the series that each person learning the Hiten Mitsurugi style lives outside the society but intervenes to maintain law and order. As if he represents the eternal law and order.

And also,

When I watched the goodbye scene in the anime, I use to think that Kenshin could have taken Kaoru with him to Kyoto since she was able to get Kenshin back to his real self during his fight with Jin-e. But here he pointed that during his fight with Saito, Kaoru's voice didn't help him to return to being a wanderer. It was kinda incoherent so I understand why the screenwriter left this out.

As I read the manga, I do realize that manga is not lesser than the anime, it's a totally different art medium. It's stronger in emphasizing different nuances. But I do have a problem with the English translation with the manga. Oh well. It's not like I can wait to read the manga until I'm fluent in Japanese.

Overall, I think Watsuki has some good raw materials for story ideas but the anime screenwriters really do capture the spirit and essence of his story and deliver the emotional impact eloquently. Reading the manga after watching the anime series is a great ride to get on the story again.

[bisansastarks]

I Put My Head Underwater, Baby

Looking back, Lydia swears it all starts with Allison’s funeral. Or the Sunday after her funeral when she first appeared to Lydia- translucent, close mouthed smile, and blood stained.  

Scott will argue that nothing happens until that night in her house, drinking Kentucky bourbon with a strange summer rain outside.

Stiles, of course, says it started long before, which causes them both to laugh and Lydia to tease, “Maybe in your dreams, Stilinski.”

@hanleialukes

But Lydia is right. It is because of Allison.

Lydia hates funerals. True, she’s never been to one that actually mattered. The last one she attended she was 7, and it was her great, great, grandfather. Lydia doesn’t remember him at all except that he smelled like death, and tiny pristine Lydia wrinkled her nose every time she had to visit his house.

She remembers her mom cried, however. She thinks of that now, as she looks in the mirror and gets ready for Allison’s.

Allison would absolutely loathe the dress. It was shapeless and black and cut to the legs.

Allison would hate a lot of things about her own funeral, to be fair, because Allison was all colors and laughter and bright shining life.  Allison and funerals didn’t belong—every time Lydia tried to think the two ideas together, it felt wrong, like picking the wrong equation and then trying to figure out a sum.

Lydia hated the dress, too. Hated to see herself in it. But that was kind of the point, wasn’t it?

Scott and Stiles are picking her up. Her mom wants to come, but Lydia said no. She keeps thinking of her mom crying at her great great grandfather’s funeral, and she is trying to compartmentalize her feelings into neat little boxes.

Allison. Her best friend. Shiny black curls and “someone could be falling in love with your smile.”

Her funeral.  Lydia’s mother’s tears.

The ones unshed behind Lydia’s own eyelids.

Lydia hears Stiles’ jeep pulling up and thinks, stupid, worthless, piece of garbage. Usually, she’d say that to his face and then Stiles would get very red and argue with her. It was fun, arguing with him. Sometimes she has more fun arguing with Stiles about well, everything, than she does on dates. She’s taken it as a barometer of how well a date goes. Is this conversation about sports cars more fun than teasing Stiles about his hair? Is this make out session more exciting than shouting back and forth about the inaccuracies of Star Wars?

Allison gave her a very knowing look when she had told her this. Which caused Lydia to stiffen up and say crisply, “Well, it’s not more fun than sex.”

“You haven’t had sex with Stiles,” Allison had said, her voice all singsongy and smug. God, Lydia wanted to punch her, then. She misses her now.

“Shut up Allison!”

Stiles beeps. She’s pretty sure it’s again.

Another day and she’d insult his car AND his manners.

But not today.

The ride over is long- or maybe it’s short? Lydia feels like she’s floating, trying to plant her feet on the ground and failing. She’s holding Scott’s hand probably tighter than necessary but he never complains. Only smiles at her. He looks good in a suit, but she wonders if she looks as sad as he does. There is a weariness in his eyes- Scott takes care of everyone, but who takes care of Scott?

Allison did. Now, she’s gone.

Stiles, somehow, looks even worse.  Dark circles under his eyes and he’s as pale as a corpse, his mouth looking like it’s forgotten how to smile.  He looks guilty, Lydia realizes.  She wants to slap him, hug him, make him pull over, something. Stop it! This isn’t your fault! It’s mine! Or maybe it’s no one’s, but it’s not yours!

But to do that, she’d have to let go of Scott’s hand, and that means falling. So, she stays silent and listens to the radio.

Chris cries and so do other Argents. So does Scott. Stiles stands between them, his hands on both their shoulders, trying to offer comfort, but it’s a bit like trying to hug a cactus if Lydia is being honest. She sees Isaac briefly in the crowd and she wonders how he’s feeling. Almost being loved by Allison Argent must be a terrible thing.

Lydia doesn’t cry. This funeral is ridiculous. It’s not for Allison. Half the people here Allison hated, and Lydia didn’t even know she was Catholic. Allison would want something on the beach with her favorite music playing. Or a Viking burial, light an arrow and burn her on the water—Allison would love that! Lydia almost giggles at that ridiculous thought, until she remembers where she is.  

She doesn’t cry. She repeats this like a mantra in her head.

She doesn’t cry.

“Here.”

Chris holds it out to her awkwardly, as if she should understand what is happening. She’s at the Argent’s for the after whatever it’s called. She was thinking about sneaking some of the scotch floating around and finding Stiles and Scott when Chris approached her.

Which is weird in and of itself. Besides thinking Allison’s dad is a total silver fox and teasing Allison about it mercilessly, she doesn’t have much of a relationship with Chris. Although, she knows how much Allison loved him. And she feels a special kinship to him now- people Allison left behind, people who loved her in all sorts of ways.

It’s Allison’s bow and arrow and Lydia didn’t cry at the funeral but she really, desperately, wants to now.

“Um….” Lydia is speechless. She’s a banshee and she’s not even sure what that means, but she knows it didn’t come with weapons skills. She doesn’t know how to work that.

“Allison would want you to have it. She would want you to learn. To be safe,” Chris says, and his voice catches on Allison’s name and gets softer with each word. He hurries away from her then, probably to drink. That’s what Lydia wants to do.

She stands there in the Argent hallway, holding her best friend’s favorite weapon, and she cries. That’s where Scott finds her.

“Lydia,” he says quietly. It’s a funeral. You have to be quiet. She thinks that might be the first word he’s said all day. Her name sounds so safe in his mouth. He brushes her hair away from her eyes with one hand and rubs circles on her back with the other. Lydia grabs him, the bow clattering to the floor, loudly, too loud for a funeral she knows.

She doesn’t let go, though.

He smells like Allison, which is absurd, it can’t be true. She just misses her so much.

---

The weekend passes in a haze. After the funeral Lydia goes home and sleeps for six hours.

She wakes up to find ten missed messages- apparently her old crowd, the ones that liked Allison because she was pretty and dressed well and always smiling but didn’t know Allison, were throwing a kegger in her honor.

You have to come!!!FOR ALLISON!!!!! Reads a text from this girl Ashley, who if Lydia recalls correctly was always a passive aggressive bitch to Allison. Jealous of her looks, jealous of her newly hot boyfriend, jealous of her kindness- all things Ashley lacked.

Lydia rolls her eyes. A kegger in Allison’s honor. Allison hated beer and only really only liked to get tipsy off wine while bingewatching tv shows or having Leonardo Dicaprio Marathons with Lydia. Still, she thinks Allison would enjoy the idea of people having fun in her honor, and getting completely black out drunk sounds like a great idea at the moment.

She steals her mom’s expensive rose wine. It was Allison’s favorite.

When she gets into the car, her hands pause on her phone, considering. She should invite Scott and Stiles and Kira. Scott can’t really get drunk (or he can maybe? But it takes a lot) but Stiles and Kira could, and god knows they deserve a good time.

Lydia doesn’t. Maybe because she doesn’t want them to see her get fucked up. Maybe because she sees Allison when she looks at them and it feels like a blade between her ribcage. She feels jealous when she sees Scott- Scott who was loved by her, Scott who got to say goodbye. She can’t handle Stiles guilt. Doesn’t want Kira’s sympathy and offer of friendship.

Whatever the reason is she doesn’t. Instead she goes to a kegger, with a 100 dollar bottle of wine in her hand. Pretends like she was the same girl she used to be; gorgeous, sexy, fun, and carefree.

Without a best friend. Just a string of Ashley’s who smell like cheap victoria secrets perfume and hug her tight like it means anything at all.

----------

Lydia is dying.

Okay, maybe she’s not dying, but she definitely feels like she’s dying. She somehow wound up back in her bed which is worrisome, but she can vaguely recall some JV player she gave a hand job to in 9th grade giving her a ride home because apparently he owed her- that was his first sexual experience, wow she was great with her hands, wanna do it again sometime? Or something.

Everything is very fuzzy.  And painful. Her head feels like it’s underwater and being hit with a hammer, simultaneously. Did she go for a nine mile run last night? Her legs are aching like she did.

Lydia may have drank more than that bottle of wine. There may have also been screwdrivers. And two (three, Lydia remembers now) shots of tequila. Well, at least she didn’t end up crying on someone. Good job Lydia!

“You’re thinking very loudly” says a voice from her right, and also far away.

Oh shit. Fuck. Lydia can’t bare to open her eyes yet, she just burrows underneath her comforter farther. Did she give JV player another handjob? Well. She’s pretty sure they didn’t have sex. Or at least not good sex. That area is really the only part of her that isn’t sore.

She hopes they didn’t have sex. Unsatisfying sex was such a waste of time.

Except...the voice. It’s not familiar exactly. And now that the person has stopped talking she can’t even recall what they said. But she has this feeling the voice was female.

Which….Lydia has no problem with Sapphic love. But it’s not something she usually goes for. Except once at summer camp in eighth grade with Olivia, who had c cups and curves, and was everything 13 year old Lydia wanted to be and was for some reason interested in playing seven minutes in heaven with her.

I’ve got better boobs than her now, Lydia thinks randomly. She wondered what Oliva was doing now. But she was just getting distracted,probably because of the fogginess and massive headache, point of fact, there was a girl in her bed! Which isn’t a thing she did besides that one time at summer camp….and well, that other one time. But she was definitely not thinking of that.

“Seriously. Such loud thoughts.” The voice, the definitely female voice, teased. It sounded strange to her ears. Far away and yet directly in her brain cutting through her hangover and setting her on edge.

Lydia rolled over. Okay she got drunk after her best friend’s funeral and went a little Lilith Fair. Definitely had nothing to do with Allison. She was just drunk and horny she decided. No big deal.

She opened her eyes. She promptly closed her eyes because what the fuck.

Lydia was dreaming. She was definitely dreaming. Or Hallucinating due to alcohol poisioning? Because that was the only way to explain what she thought she just saw.

She took a deep breath, and opened her eyes again.

Allison was lying there. Or well, not lying there. She was on her sheets but not touching them,floating above. Lydia couldn’t see space between Allison and her sheets- but she was absolutely sure that Allison was not touching the bed. She looked unreal, like Lydia’s worst nightmare and best dream rolled into one.  Her skin was white and shimmering and Lydia swore she flickered in front of her, but so quickly that she never quite disappeared from her eyes.

Allison’s hair was long and curly like the day she first met Lydia. She couldn’t figure out what she was wearing, her brain couldn’t seem to focus on it- but she felt as if she wearing the same outfit too.

Suddenly Lydia felt her eyes move downward to the image’s stomach and she felt sick. There was a large blood stain there- it looked wet, and Lydia imagined it dripping onto her comforter.

She had an inane image of her scolding Allison. Allison, get up! You’re getting blood all over my three hundred dollar comforter! She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. (Don’t cry).

“Lydia,” the mirage said, and it didn’t sound like Allison exactly but it sounded achingly familiar. A voice Lydia would want to wrap herself up in if not for the bitter wrongness.

She could smell death in the air now, like her great great great grandfather’s house. She could also smell sea salt, which was Allison’s chosen soap smell.

This is either a dream or she’s losing her mind. Lydia decides to embrace the former. She’s seen the pyschiatric wards in Beacon Hills.

“I’m dreaming,” Lydia says, as if she can convince herself. She sinks back into the comforter and briefly considers hiding underneath it. Like a kid scared of the monster in the closet. Except this monster was her best friend, shimmering, with a large gaping bloody wound in her stomach.

“Lydia!” The crazy trick her brain was playing on her said again, more forcefully. A book shot straight out of her closet and landed by her bed. Smart, Lydia thinks. Very believable haunting. Just like the movies. My brain is smart.

“You’re not dreaming!” It said. Okay, then Lydia was insane. She tried to think of any family history with schizophrenia or other illness but couldn’t remember it. Great, the crazy started with her.

“Lydia, please look at me.” Underneath the wrongness, there was something to it’s voice, a warmth like the sun that Lydia wanted to reach out to, envelop herself in. A warmth like Allison.

She opens her eyes again, unravels herself from her blankets and looks into her dead best friend’s eyes. They’re black, not cold but dark,

“Allison…” No, NO you’re going crazy. This can’t be real. Allison is DEAD. She’s gone and all the wishing won’t bring her back. You need to get up and leave this room. It’s not Allison.

Lydia knows two things:

Allison was dead

This hurt more than her funeral. This fake mirage of her best friend, so close she could touch. Her mind was a real fucking bitch.

She felt a sob take root in her throat- it felt a little bit like playing with a wound when you’re hurt. Mom tells you not to touch it, so you can’t help but do just that. Everytime it hurts, and you never learn.

“I’m crazy.” Lydia whispers. First a banshee, now a crazy banshee.

“Lydia” the mirage is laughing. Lydia can hear it in her voice, although her face remains expressionless, hard to look at. “One of your best friends is a werewolf. You’re a banshee! Kira is a fox! And you think you’re crazy because I’m here?”

That...makes sense. That makes so much sense that Lydia feels buoyant, giddy.  It can’t be real, but is anything impossible in Beacon Hills? She looks at it, at Allison again, and she just knows.

“Allison!” Lydia cries, and oh yes, there are the tears. She reaches forward to hug her.

Of course Lydia realizes, with crushing disappointment and a sinking feeling in her gut, she can’t. She ends up crashing flat on her bed, going right through her. She expects to feel cold- that’s what happens in the movies right?

Instead she feels nothing. But she remembers, Allison. Allison laughing in the hall at school. Allison falling asleep on her during movie marathons. Allison singing along to boy bands while they drove in the car. Allison with a devious look in her eyes, mouth hot.  

She looks up, her hangover is gone- and so is Allison.

Well, fuck.

Lydia spent the rest of her Sunday trying to get her to come back.

Allison couldn’t just appear for two minutes and then disappear forever. Lydia learned a long time ago the world wasn’t fair or just, but this was too much. She had to come back.

She tried just asking, pleading the with dead air, calling for her like a stray cat.

“Allison, please, I believe you. Come back!”

Nothing.

She thought maybe this had something to do with her Banshee powers, it’s not like she fully understood them. Maybe she could conjure Allison? So Lydia sat on her bed cross legged and imagined Allison there- just as she had appeared, blood stain and all. She sat there for an hour, maybe more, until her head hurt too much from trying.

Nothing.

Lydia tried doing things Allison liked to do, because maybe Allison was bored with being a ghost and wanted to rewatch all of the OC with her. She booted up her laptop and started researching- mostly Lydia found kooks who were convinced their oven was possessed by Satan. Another woman claimed her child was possessed- Lydia was pretty sure her kid was actually a werewolf and couldn’t bear to tell her. (She was absolutely not going to tell Scott about that one, he’d drag them all to New England to solve a family problem and insist this kid was a new member of their pack and honestly Lydia was too tired for that.)

But she did learn two things

Ghosts could be reached through physical items the living person had felt connected to.

Ghosts usually occured because someone’s death was traumatic or quick. It didn’t occur to them that they were dead in the first place, and they could spend years haunting areas never finding peace.  

So Lydia spent the day carrying around Allison’s crossbow. She held it while pouring a glass of wine and making a sandwich. It sat next to her homework while she worked on Calc.

And yes, it sat in her lap while watching the OC. She decides that Stiles is definitely Seth and that she is a much smarter, prettier Summer, but Allison isn’t Marissa at all. She tried to imagine Scott brooding like Ryan and sloshes her wine as she laughs.

Allison doesn’t appear. Lydia tries not to think too hard about that second fact she gleaned. An Allison who appeared suddenly, alone, thinking she was alive and wondering where her friends were.

First day back to school felt a little bit like entering a war zone. Or facing a supernatural creature and Lydia’s only weapon was her looks. She put on her darkest red lipstick and her highest heels, and prepared herself.

There were the hugs. So many hugs from people Lydia had sworn she had never spoken to before. The teacher’s looks of shock when she actually had her homework. The boys who used every excuse to touch her.

Lydia wanted to scream. These people didn’t care. Not about Allison and not about her.

And the worst part of it was, in the corner of her eye, by her locker, in the back of the classroom: she kept expecting to see Allison. Not Allison the ghost. Allison her best friend. But she saw neither.

She was zoning out, losing it. She kept trying to open her locker but she couldn’t remember if it was K, F, B or K, F, C???????

“God fucking DAMN IT.” Lydia swore, hitting her locker and pretending the tears in her eyes was because of the pain. It did hurt. It hurt a lot. She’d probably have a bruise. Damn it.

“Uh...Lydia?” Stiles is suddenly besides her, smelling like clean soap and a little too much cologne. She really needs to make fun of him for that so he’ll stop.  He’s looking at her not like she’s crazy or with pity, but with warmth in his eyes. Which is hilarious because Stiles wasn’t warm at all was he?. He was all sharp angles and biting words, and yet Lydia thinks he’s never looked at her any other way.

“Hey Stiles,”  She winces. Her fingers are definitely bruised, “I couldn’t figure out my lock….” She is definitely wearing too much contour to blush, besides she doesn’t blush.

“Yeah, those locks can be tricky.” In a way that’s mocking her but also not.” Hey why don’t you give it a break, have some food with me and Scott. Come back to it fully fed and ready for round two.”

“I didn’t want to carry my books” She admits. She just had Calc and Psychics and each book weighed at least ten pounds. And now that her hand is also bruised- it really doesn’t help.

“I’ll take them” And he just does, and Stiles is definitely scrawny but she doesn’t make the obvious crack. She has to tease him though. She has to.

“Are you gonna give me your varsity jacket to wear next?”

Stiles blushes. They walk to lunch.  

Lydia files that blush away for later when she can appreciate it more. It is a lovely shade of red.

Scott has saved them an entire table, and Lydia wonders if Kira and ten other friends she didn’t know existed will be joining them. She goes and grabs a salad and joins them. Stiles is eating a sandwich and Scott is eating four.  Scott smiles at her when she sits down and she compares these two boys- her two favorite boys perhaps.

Scott is kind. She remembers Allison saying that, and Lydia had scoffed because kind didn’t get you get off. But she understands why Allison was drawn to him now, has stopped being jealous- Scott is kind and good and he makes you feel the same. Lydia wishes she could bottle up that feeling sometimes, use it when she’s having a bad day.

Stiles is volatile. He can be kind, he can be a lot of things, but it’s now what defines him- Lydia isn’t quite sure she’s figured out what defines him.

She’s contemplating this when she watches Stiles shove an entire half of the sandwich into his mouth.

Nevermind, Stiles was defined by his idiocy.

“How was your weekend?” Scott asks, she avoids his eyes. This weekend was the funeral and tequila shots and a freaking ghost. Lydia doesn’t want to discuss it.

She should tell them. Not telling them sits hard in her stomach until the sight of her ceasar salad is making her slightly nauseous. It’s not like they wouldn’t believe her! She dated a lizard for god sakes.

But she doesn’t because…. because Lydia is a terrible selfish person.

She wants to keep Allison to herself. She knows Stiles and Scott and god, Chris, miss her as much as she does, but Allison came to her! She felt like she was floating away, and there was Allison. It meant something.

She swallows her guilt and leaves the salad untouched.

“Hey Lydia, did you hear us?”

“Of course!” She sputters, wait what?” “Uh no…”

Stiles gets very excited. He’s about to ramble, she can just tell. His arms start flailing and Lydia scoots away from him.

“Scott, our beautiful friend, our alpha--

“Louder please, I want everyone to know”

“Is basically an incomplete hallow wreck of a man. Devoid of soul, really.”

“Uhhhhhhhh…..” Lydia looks at Scott. He does look sad, but don’t they all?

“Yeah. He hasn’t seen Star Wars” Stiles finishes, as if, duh! “You have to come! Partake in the marathon.”

Lydia has plans. Well okay. She was gonna carry around Allison’s crossbow again and continue to watch the OC will thinking very loudly about Allison appearing.

“You have to come Lydia, “ Scott says softly, like it really matters.

“Lydia. You’re our only hope!” Stiles cajoles, draping his arm around her. He really needs to chill with the cologne. But she doesn’t really mind the arm.

“I am not Obi Wan Kenobi!” Lydia glares at these two stupid boys, her boys, kind of “Fine!”

And then she feels guilty for agreeing to have fun. This whole grief thing is the fucking worst.

[kuriquinn]

Do you have any breakup advice? Anything helps

Sorry this is late, it got stuck in my inbox...and I have not been in the mindframe to do advice for a long time now...

I don’t know whether you’re dealing with a romance break up or a friend break up, but I can tell you they both suck. You’ve gone and given a person a piece of your soul, and whether you part on good terms of not, that person will always have a piece of your soul and a section of your memories. You can’t erase them, and it’s always going to hurt a little when you think of that person. The thing is, over time it hurts less.

(yes, I realise that’s kind of a cliche, but it’s true)

The best advice I can give is to grieve. Cry as much as you need to, and rage at the world and let yourself feel it instead of pretending everything is alright to make other people feel more at ease. You are going through something and you don’t need to apoligise for feeling.

Don’t let it suck you down, either. Have your time to grieve, whether it’s a few days or two weeks.

But then get up and try to live again. Say goodbye to that person (face to face or just symbolically) and the part they occupied in their life. Find something that you enjoy doing, something from before this person was in your life, and try to occupy yourself that way while you’re healing. Hang out with your other friends and family members. Bingewatch shows that make you laugh, join some random activity like making pottery or throwing axes.

Live again and don’t let that person keep their claws in you long after their gone.

Also, really important: next relationship you have (and you will have one, I’m sure of it!), don’t spend your “getting to know you” period talking about your ex-friend/boyfriend/girlfriend.

It’s not much, but I wish someone had told me this stuff when my best friend ghosted me after ten years. That was a friendship I’d had longer than any romantic relationship and it hurt worse losing that than breaking up with a boyfriend. In some ways I’m still recovering from it.

One day at a time, luv. I hope you’re in a better place since you first wrote me.

(again, so sorry for not answering immediately!)

[pairodicelost]

watched the fifth season of broad city which i hadn’t known about??? yesterday and def cried to see them part ways at the end. it fueled my everpresent-but-usually-lowlevel discontent so i flung lines out cross country to best friends “i wanna have my friends in my life! and i wanna be happy! i want to be in love with someone who loves me back! i want to live in a cool spot and have fun again! what the fuck is all this wasted time about? i hate it” who were sweet and invited me to leave here to live with them in their cities, which i dont wanna do. yet. 

also, nyc just makes me achy? i think its a combo of reading that entire book of Didion-inspired essays “Goodbye To All That” by young women leaving/aging out of nyc (i read that when i was 23 and working restaurants in los angeles, felt sharply the empathetic pangs of “Yes I ran wild and had fun, but am older than that now. Time to move upstate/to the midwest/to CA with my spouse and move on. Let it go.” which was a confusing sense of loss + disillusionment to internalize when it absolutely did not apply to me.) and also the fact that for years i have fantasized about spending a heartbroken new year’s eve/winter season in nyc. it just seems like the right place to be bundled up and achy and romantic. the snow and the people and the lights and the belonging/not belonging that comes with so many people. that tender end-of-everything feeling that comes at the holidays and makes you wanna cry.

anyway i bingewatched those girls in that city yesterday and i have a crush on someone who lives there and also once worked with a filmmaker who lives there, so im just browsing craigslist apartments in Brooklyn and fantasizing about a Different Life. (one in which i live in an apt and somehow manage to not lose ground in my Field of Choice and have friends and loves and have Fun.) also, amazed to discover that after living in Los Angeles and in the Bay Area, many prices i’m seeing in nyc strike me as.... dareisay reasonable?????

my sister might go to grad school there and i would actually totally move to be there with her for awhile. just to see.