#going to have to make it for myself one of these days as a treat

[mindmelter]

Felix The Perfect Toy

Felix was the hottest jock in my school. Everyone knew who he was and everyone wanted to be his friend.

And I was no different; I was obsessed with his good-looking face, his fit athletic body, and his loud yet charismatic personality, and he had this casual, effortless way of carrying himself like he didn’t even realize how perfect he was.

But it’s not just the looks. Felix is different. While the other popular guys are absolute douchebags, Felix is kind, even to people like me. He could have anyone he wanted—everyone wants to be around him—but he never treats anyone like they’re beneath him. That’s what makes him even more attractive: he’s not just the best-looking guy in school, he’s actually good. It’s maddening how perfect he is.

I dreamed of having him all for myself, but I could barely approach him without having a full-blown panic attack. I knew someone like him would never pay attention to someone like me.

He was the captain of the school's swim team which gave him a fit athletic body to fantasize and drool all about.

Every time I watched him swimming, my mind would wander, fantasizing about licking the water on his body, tasting his hairy armpits, or finally seeing what he hides under those speedos. Unfortunately, that was all he was to me; a fantasy.

When my parents died when I was twelve, I moved in with my very wealthy grandfather. At first, he seemed like a frightening and enigmatic figure—an imposing man of few words, as people would say. But as the years passed, I gradually grew accustomed to his unique personality.

I never knew what he worked for, how he became so rich, or why he was always traveling, which consequently would leave the mansion all to myself. It was lonely, I will admit, I had no one else to share that beautiful mansion with.

One day we were having breakfast together. He was wearing a black robe, flipping through the newspaper with his usual silence, rarely acknowledging me. I sat across from him, stirring my coffee absentmindedly, my mind wandering back to Felix, as it often did.

"You seem distracted," my grandfather said without looking up.

I froze, unsure how to respond. I never talked about my feelings, especially not around him. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who cared about teenage crushes.

"Just... thinking about school," I muttered.

He lowered the paper slowly, folding it neatly before setting it aside. His cold gaze fixed on me, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat. “You’re not a very good liar, boy. What’s on your mind?"

“It’s… this guy,” I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. I could feel my face heating up.

He already knew I was gay, so that wasn't a surprise to him.

“A guy?” he repeated, almost as if testing the word. "Go on."

"Yeah, a guy from school," I said, avoiding eye contact with him, “Felix. He’s... I don’t know, he’s just... perfect. And completely out of my league.”

My grandfather remained silent, his eyes never leaving mine. I couldn’t tell if he was judging me or just waiting for me to keep going.

“I mean,” I continued, unable to stop myself now that I’d started, “he’s popular, everyone loves him. He’s the captain of the swim team, and… well, I like him. A lot. But there’s no way he’d ever notice me. I’m... no one compared to him.”

For a long moment, my grandfather just watched me, his expression unreadable. Then, he gave a small, almost imperceptible nod.

“I see,” he said slowly. “So you have feelings for this... Felix. You wish you could have him?"

I nodded, feeling embarrassed for even admitting it. "Yeah. But like I said, he’s way out of my league.”

There was a strange look in my grandfather’s eyes, a glint of something I couldn’t quite place. He stood up from the table, smoothing his robe as he moved toward the door.

“Enjoy your breakfast,” he said cryptically before disappearing into the hallway.

I didn’t think much of it at the time. I thought maybe he was just being his usual mysterious self.

A week later, it was my 18th birthday, but it could as well be any other day since I had no one to spend my birthday with, not even my grandfather, as he was still traveling.

That day at school, I noticed Felix had missed all his classes. That was odd since he had swimming practice that day. I was sad because I was eager to watch him getting all wet in the pool that day; it would be my birthday gift.

Later that day I came back home from school. The house was eerily quiet, as it often was.

When I opened the door to my room, the sight stopped me dead in my tracks. There, in the middle of my room, was a large and long box. Confused, I approached it cautiously, there was a red present lace on top of the box, I pulled it off and slowly opened the box, and inside I saw... I let out a scream and fell to the floor.

My breath caught in my throat.

Felix?

He was motionless with his eyes open, while he was wearing a white tank top and black shorts. He looked perfect, too perfect—like a doll.

I backed away, my heart thudding in my chest. "W-what the hell...?"

This couldn't be Felix; it must be an identical replica of his body, I thought. There was only one way to find out. I slowly approached him and ran my hand on his face, and I felt his soft and warm skin. It was really him, but somehow... different. His eyes were empty, and his body was unnaturally stiff. I gently placed my hand on his chest and felt a heartbeat. It was very slow... actually, too slow for a person—one beat for every five seconds—but at least he had a heartbeat.

A low chuckle came from the doorway. I turned and saw my grandfather standing there with a grin on his face. He stepped inside the room, his cold eyes drifting between me and Felix.

"I see you’ve found your gift."

I swallowed hard, "What... what did you do to him?"

"Consider it your birthday present," he said, "I couldn't let my grandson put himself down over a dumb boy, now you have him."

I stared at him, speechless.

"You don’t have to be alone anymore. He will keep you company when I'm out traveling. He’s yours now, exactly how you wanted."

"But... he’s not... he’s not real, he can't be real!" I stammered.

My grandfather smiled. "Oh, he’s real. But let’s just say I’ve made some... modifications to his brain." He stepped closer, looking down at Felix with a clinical detachment. "You can do whatever you like with him. He won’t resist. He was programmed for obedience only. He sees himself now as a toy, and you as his ultimate owner. Isn’t that what you wanted?"

*Programmed for obedience?* The thought of it sent a shiver down my spine, but not in a bad way.

I glanced up at my grandfather, and for once, I didn’t feel like I had to hide my feelings. “You... did this for me?” My voice cracked. I could barely believe what I was seeing. Felix—*my* Felix—was lying right in front of me, his perfect body ready and waiting.

My grandfather nodded, his expression still cold, but there was something else in his eyes—satisfaction.

"Of course, the way you spoke about him, I know what it means to desire something so deeply, you feel powerless. So I decided to remove that powerlessness for you."

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving Felix’s perfectly still body inside the box, “I’ve... I’ve wanted this for so long, but I never thought...”

My grandfather chuckled, “No need for words, boy. Just enjoy your present, he’s been prepared for you.”

I stepped closer to the box, Felix's features were serene while he stared at nothing. He wasn’t just a fantasy anymore—he was real, and he was mine.

I reached out, my hand trembling as my fingertips brushed against his handsome face. Warm. Awake. And yet completely not.

“He won’t... fight me?” I asked, almost breathless.

“No,” my grandfather replied. “He’ll do exactly as you say. He’s been modified to please you, to follow your every command.”

I turned to my grandfather and smiled. “Thank you,” I said.

My grandfather gave a small nod. "I knew you'd understand. You're my blood, after all. Just remember to never let him out of the house. He's still missing as far as everyone knows. You're 18, so he's your responsibility now."

I looked down at Felix again, feeling a sense of ownership, of power, that I had never felt before. My fantasies were no longer just in my head—they were right here, ready to be made real.

As my grandfather turned to leave the room, he paused at the door, giving me one last glance over his shoulder. “Oh, and there's a manual in the box, enjoy your present."

Once he was out of my room, I locked the door for privacy. Then I picked Felix up from the box. His body was heavy, as expected, but after some hard effort, I managed to drag him to my bed.

Just for fun, I posed his right arm, making him flex.

He looked so serene, so peaceful like he was asleep. But his eyes, those beautiful eyes that I had dreamt about, stared into nothingness. They were the only indication that something was wrong—or right—with him.

I couldn't hold any more second and started to undress him, first taking off his white tank top, then I pulled down his shorts. I was surprised to see he was wearing his swimming speedos.

He probably was abducted after his swimming practice. His body was even more amazing from closer, and to think that for so long, I just watched him from afar...

The realization of having Felix lying on my bed made me start leaking.

I lifted both his arms into a flexing pose.

A smile crept onto my face as I buried my face into his armpits and took a deep sniff, but I was disappointed; he didn't smell like I was expecting to. I wanted to smell his sweaty, musky armpits, but instead, he smelled faintly like a factory or a lab.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I had to figure out how to make him more 'alive'; I needed him to produce the sweat I was so looking forward to sniffing and lick. I wanted him to act more like the real Felix.

That's when I remembered about the manual my grandfather talked about, the instructions were surprisingly detailed. It was like a manual for a very expensive, very human-like sex doll. But this wasn't a doll; this was Felix. After searching for a while, I found a section titled "Activation and Customization."

"To activate your toy, you must press a button installed in your toy's nape. This will initiate the awakening process," the instructions said. I quickly started searching Felix's stiff neck for the button, finally, my fingertips found a small, unnoticeable button hidden under his skin at the base of his neck.

I took a deep breath and pressed it. Nothing happened at first until his eyes fluttered and started to roll in circles as if it was imitating a loading icon.

Suddenly, Felix's body jerked to life. He looked around the room with a vacant expression, his pupils dilating as he took in his surroundings. I watched, frozen, as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"H-Hello, Felix," I managed to say, my voice quivering.

He stared at me, his gaze unflinching and his movements mechanical. "Hello, Master," he responded in a monotone voice. "I'm your toy, Felix. How may I serve you?"

"Ummm, can you... Can you act more like the old... umm, real Felix?"

I watched as his eyes started to swirl again; he then looked at me—the same look that I had seen countless times at school when he was about to tease someone or when he was flirting with the girls. "I'm sorry for acting weird, dude," he chuckled, his voice sounding so much more natural, he then smirked and looked around my room. "That's a nice room you have, did you win the lottery or something?" He joked.

"Well, kinda... ummm... but you are definitely my best prize so far," I said, It was funny how I was still nervous about talking with him, even though I knew he was my brainless toy now. "So, how do you feel?"

Felix rubbed his head and chuckled. "I feel fine, man. A little stiff, but I guess that's to be expected after being in a box all day." He looked down at his body, then looked at me with an eyebrow raised, "But, dude, what the fuck? Why am I in only my speedos?"

I blushed and stumbled over my words. "Well, you know, you don't have to wear clothes around me, you're my toy now."

Felix relaxed, "You're right, I don't have to wear clothes around you." With that, he stood up and pulled down his speedos, revealing his big soft cock. I gasped at the sight.

"W-what are you doing?" I stuttered, my eyes glued to his cock.

"You said I don't have to wear clothes around you, speedos are technically clothes, aren't they?" He said with a cheeky smile.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

He walked over to me, his cock swinging gently with every step. He was so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face. "So, what do you want to do with me, dude? I'm your toy, and as a toy, I deserve to be played with."

"I-I would like you to do push-ups for me, p-please," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

Felix nodded and dropped to the floor, his muscles rippling as he pushed himself up and down. I watched, mesmerized, as he performed the task with ease.

"Is this what you had in mind?" He asked, looking up at me with a smirk while still doing push-ups.

I nodded, my cock now rock hard in my pants. "Yes," I managed to say. "It's exactly how I fantasized for so long," I pulled my hard cock out and started jerking off to the sight of my crush, obeying my every command.

For so long I had jerked off to Felix's photos, and now here he was, in the flesh, doing push-ups in front of me. The reality was so much better than any of my fantasies. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

After almost one hour of nonstop push-ups, Felix's amazing body was glistening with sweat. The smell was starting to fill my room, it was heavenly! He looked up at me with a hint of exhaustion in his eyes, I kinda wanted to know how far he could keep doing pushups, but I didn't want to break my new toy.

"That's enough Felix, sit on that chair over there with your hands behind your head. I want to taste your sweaty armpits."

"Yes Master." Felix obeyed immediately, sitting down with his arms behind his head and looking up at me expectantly.

My cock bobbed as I walked to him and sat on his lap; I leaned down and took a deep breath, filling my nose with the musky scent of his armpits. I then slowly stuck my tongue out and licked the saltiness from his skin, savoring the taste of the most popular jock in my school. His body tensed, but he didn't move away.

"That's so disgusting dude, how can you get off by licking the dirty armpits of another dude?!" He exclaimed with a mix of shock and confusion, but he didn't resist.

I chuckled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "It's not just any armpit, Felix. It's yours."

After spending the entire evening sniffing and licking every inch of Felix's sweaty body, I decided it was time to take things to the next level. "Alright, Felix," I said, getting off from him, "I want you to lift your legs and spread them, keep your hands behind your head."

Felix looked at me with a mix of curiosity and confusion, but he did as he was told, his body now programmed to obey his new owner.

"That's so humiliating," he murmured.

My heart was racing. This was it—the moment I had been dreaming of for so long. I looked down at him, his body now mine to explore and use as I wished. "Don't worry," I whispered, trying to reassure him, "you're going to enjoy this, I promise."

I leaned in between his legs and kissed him softly. His body tensed up, he clearly wasn't happy about kissing another guy, but he didn't pull away and just let me explore his mouth. Encouraged, I deepened the kiss, my tongue sliding into his mouth and exploring it as he lay there, unmoving. "That's fucking gross.... uuurrghh, I'm not gay," he mumbled against my lips.

"It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, Felix," I whispered as I continued jerking him off, "You're my toy now."

He stared at me, his eyes wide with a mix of fear and anger. "What the fuck, man? I'm nobody's toy!" He breathed out, his voice cracking slightly.

The programming really did a good job at mimicking Felix's real straight personality. Ignoring his protests, I reached down and grabbed his cock, stroking it gently, but he wasn't getting hard, of course he wouldn't, I thought with a chuckle.

"Get hard for me," I commanded, watching his cock swell in my hand. "Does this feel good?"

Felix let out a moan, his body betraying his protests. "No, it...uurrghhh... it doesn't," he gritted out, his voice filled with need.

"Then let's try this," I aimed my cock against his tight ass, I felt his body tense up, but before he could react, I inserted the tip, feeling his muscles clench around me.

"What the fuck!" He shouted, trying to sit up, but I pushed him back down gently.

"Don't move," I whispered, "I want you to love this. Remember, you're not just my toy, you're my sex toy. Your purpose is to give me pleasure."

I watched Felix's eyes rolling in circular movement for a few seconds, then he suddenly looked at me with needy puppy eyes.

"Aawwwwwwghhh! This feels so fucking good! I love how you fill my ass, dude!" He moaned.

I grinned and pushed deeper inside him, feeling his tight straight ass envelop my shaft. I began to thrust in and out of him, setting a slow, deliberate rhythm. His moans grew louder and louder; the command for him to love it was really proving to be effective.

As I fucked him, I couldn't believe how perfect it felt. Soon I was fucking him real hard, my hips slapping hard against his ass, the sound echoing through my room. As I thrust inside him, I leaned in and buried my face in his armpits. I took deep sniffs as I heard Felix's moans grow louder and more desperate.

"You're mine Felix, forever!" I moaned against his armpits as I came inside him.

While I was still inside of him, I commanded him to cum, but just when he was in the middle of his orgasm, I pressed the button in his nape, and he froze mid-orgasm, his face now frozen with his eyes rolling back and tongue sticking out.

But I was surprised to see his cock was still shooting cum all over his abs, some even landed on his face and tongue. I guess the programming isn't able to stop an ongoing orgasm.

Pulling away, I looked down at him, lying on the chair with his body covered in sweat and cum leaking from his ass. His handsome face, was now distorted in a mindless dumb expression.

I decided to give him a bath, to clean off the sweat and cum that covered him, but also because he still had some of the "factory" smell on him.

I filled the tub with warm water and called him to get inside the bathtub. He was in his mindless, obedient state; that was his default mode. I wasn't in the mood to bathe a loud and rebellious toy.

His eyes were glazed over as I cleaned his body, it was so cute.

As I washed his pecs, I couldn't help but playfully pinch his nipples. I continued my exploration, moving down to his abs and then to his hard cock, which was still hard since I first commanded him to be.

"You're such a good toy," I praised, giving his shaft a gentle tug. "I've always loved you, Felix, yet you never noticed me," I whispered as I washed his hair with shampoo, "you were always surrounded by so many friends and busy with girls, why would you notice someone like me, right?" I said, washing his pecs and abs. He didn't respond since he was in default mode, but I wasn't expecting him to. "I'm so glad we have each other now. I promise we will have a lot of fun together."

When I was finished, I told him to step out of the bath and sit so I could dry him. As I was drying his muscles, an idea suddenly came to me. I pressed his nape and gave him a command...

After I was done with the command, he tilted his head and smiled at me.

"Why use a towel, Master? Use your tongue to dry my sexy body." He then pulled the towel from his lap, giving me full access to his throbbing shaft, "And I think you should start with my cock."

__________________________

I've been enjoying my new toy for months now.

Felix's disappearance is commented on to this day, no one knows what happened to him after he left the swimming practice. Somehow, the organization in which my grandfather worked managed to clear all the evidence of his disappearance from that night.

I was back home after a boring day at school, and like every day since I got Felix as my toy, I spent the day looking forward to coming back home to him.

As I walked into my room, I was greeted with the sight of Felix "sleeping" on a chair.

He always spends the day "Inactivated" when I am out. I walked to him and pressed his nape, activating him.

When he saw me he gave me a warm smile and stretched his arms, teasing me by showing his armpits.

"Welcome back Master, please come take your daily dose of your toy's armpits."

[razorblade180]

Capturing the Spark

Weiss:*peeks into music room* Summer, sweetie? I can’t help notice you’re playing the same note for like…ten minutes.

Summer: *plucking string* I’ve reach creative bankruptcy.

Weiss:You’re sixteen. There’s something in there.

Summer:Nothing good.

She points at a decently sized pile of paper on the floor. Weiss takes a look at one and realizes it’s a whole song.

Weiss:Are these originals!? Why are they on the floor!?

Summer:I don’t like how they came out. Weeks and months of revising but they feel mediocre.

Weiss:Says you. A single opinion from a creator is damning in any art form. I could’ve listened.

Summer:You would’ve been too nice and supportive.

Weiss:Summer, I told your father he looked fat in the first tux he chose for our wedding. I will never willingly let you embarrass yourself in front of people.

Summer:…There’s been talk on the radio about my recent songs and concerts. People are saying I’m losing my spark, and they aren’t wrong if I’m being honest. Things feel…different.

Weiss:Could it be because you’re getting healthy?

Summer:Pfft, now you’re making me sound ridiculous. Yes, that’s exactly it. Being on stage feels weird now that I’m not fighting for my life. Is that wrong?

Weiss:Little bit, but I get it. Your life was on the line. Adrenaline was at an all time high.

Summer:Exactly! My body was cold and hot. I had to focus on staying myself while thousands cheered my name and had zero clue I was basically on a battlefield! Now I’m just performing.

Weiss:Haha, and that’s a bad thing? It’s gonna be an adjustment but you still have that spark. You don’t need your life on the line to bring it out. You also need to treat these songs better.

Summer:Mom, they’re garbage. My fans don’t come for me for darker stuff anyways.

Weiss:They are fruits of labor. Sure not all of them will be perfect, but not every song you make will be a hit and don’t have to be. Treat these like your puppy. Don’t throw them away because they’re a little all over the place.

Summer:Where is he right now?

Weiss:Bothering Jaune. Anyways, fuck your haters.

Summer:Wow!

Weiss:I mean it! You are the singer! You can’t make people like your music but you change the audience that fills your seats. They’re called fans because they help make you burn bright.

Summer:….

Weiss:The way I see it, you can change up your style and genre to better capture and represent the raw feelings that give you the spark, or bask in the irony of a crowd that loves you, but can’t fathom the real weight of your performance.

Summer:You’ve done that too!?

Weiss:I’ve written so many songs that come from my feelings being around my abusive father and most people don’t have a clue. We may be the entertainment at a concert, but we both know how easy it is to see the crowd as the real fools.

Summer:Yet when I talk like this, therapy gets mentioned.

Weiss:Hey, I’ve been to it many times. I know exactly who I am, and you will too. One day at a time. You’re not creatively bankrupt. You’re just not cashing in all the ideas you have.

And with that nugget of wisdom, Weiss kisses her daughter on the forehead before leaving her to think on it.

Summer:(Damn it. She’s gonna feel so proud about that line.) *grabs paper*……

xxxxxx

Weiss:*walking down stairs* I’m back. How’s the puppy?

Jaune:*holding him up* Air jail. Did you solve the one note wonder?

Weiss:Yeah, but it’s gonna get louder in sec-

🎶VVVVVRRRREEEERRRRR🎶

Both of them looked up as the sound of a distorted and almost wailing guitar started singing wildly. Jaune looked at his wife to see her casually head banging with a smug face. They weren’t even sure if the notes lead to something or if their daughter was simply going for it.

Weiss:It’s been awhile since I heard a eulogy like this.

Jaune:A eulogy?

Weiss:Can’t you hear it? It’s for the death of a pop star as we know her.

[annwrites]

— homelander quotes ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*: | read

❝Did mommy and daddy not teach their little girl respect?❞

❝I could always just make you get on your knees. To either suck me off or lick my boots. Maybe both.❞

❝Do you not like me? I’m a fucking hero! I am the face of this country. Yet you treat me like any other insignificant schmuck on the street. I deserve some goddamn respect!❞

❝Y’know what? That does seem like a good start at fixing things between the two of us. You can have the honor of making me dinner. Maybe we play house for the evening.❞

❝Well, it’s either that, or, once I’m done with my dinner, I carry you over to your bed and have my way with you. Whether you want to or not.❞

❝Oh, honey, I can do whatever the fuck I want.❞ (...) ❝And I think you’re going to like it.❞

❝I know you’re in there. I can hear your heart. So, you can either open the door, or I’ll just break a window and let myself in.❞

❝What? No home-cooked meal for your favorite superhero tonight? And after all that hard work I put into making a meal out of you just twenty-four hours ago.❞

❝You are going to be a good little girl and get to cooking. I’m not asking twice. I’ve been hard at work all day. It’s the least you can do for me after bothering to fly all the way here to keep you company.❞

❝I’m no A-Train, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love a good chase, sweetheart.❞

❝They’re just the ones who sign my paychecks. See, they work for me. The whole fuckin’ world does. Including you, honey. I’m the real hero. My little tagline where I say otherwise? It’s bullshit. But the people eat it up. They swallow the garbage I feed them with a grateful smile.❞

❝Maybe I should gift you a Homelander pack of panties.❞ (...) ❝I could be with you all day long that way. Right between your legs.❞

❝I’m not going to rape you. If I wanted you on your back with your legs spread, you would be.❞

❝You’re mine,❞ he whispers. ❝You belong to me now. Do you understand?❞

❝You understand me,❞ he continues. ❝Like no one else has ever bothered to. We’re together now. Got it?❞

❝It wasn’t a question. I wasn’t asking. You’re mine.❞

❝If I find out you’re seeing anyone else, you won’t like what happens to him. So, I suggest staying loyal. Not that anyone else could ever compare to me, anyway. I mean, you should be happy about this—that you’re the young woman I’ve chosen for myself. It makes you special. Being mine, that is. A rich superhero. The supe.❞

❝The greatest man in all of America—the world—and I’m all yours.❞

❝We'll, I’d just fucking kill him. I’d kill any man that looked at, or touched you, y'know?❞

❝Because we belong together. I mean, you belong to me. You're my property.❞

❝That's my good girl. Besides, once I got done taking care of business, you'd have nowhere else to go.❞

❝I’d make sure that I’d be the only thing you had left to run to,❞ he says—his tone slightly threatening. ❝In all the fuckin' world.❞ (...) ❝Because I am your world.❞

[moniquill]

Saving this because the thread is probably going to be deleted. Mild rearranging done to show the actual flow of conversation rather than tumblr's befuckened threading

The players are @balearicbitch , @ollieoneill, and myself - @moniquill

On the question of 'Should I donate to ao3'

balearicbitch: no also stop reading fanfics and grow up

moniquill: I'm sorry that your life is so lacking in joy.

balearicbitch: it isnt tho i just read normal books instead

moniquill: "other people are reading and enjoying independently published fiction and I have very strong opinions about that, driving me to declare those people immature" is some seriously joyless behavior. Are you ok?

ollieoneill: People can do both. You’re really gross and the one who needs to grow up.

ollieoneill: Lol they are definitely not okay. I want to feel bad for people like @balearicbitch but they’re so hateful and pathetic all I can do is shake my head

balearicbitch: i dont know what to tell you but if youre older than 16 and still play pretend with fictional characters try to have experiences in the real world?!

ollieoneill: Babe I’m a married 36yo and travel the world pretty much constantly and have a wonderful, full life. I also read fan fiction. You seriously need to grow up and get a life and stop telling other people how to enjoy theirs you utterly pathetic gremlin.

moniquill: I'm 41, I play pretend with fictional characters, and I've won a Nebula and a Hugo about it. Who do you think authors the 'normal books'?

balearicbitch: "other people are reading and enjoying independently published fiction" when the fiction in question is just creating scenarios based on other people work to fulfill your need of Media Consumer

balearicbitch: looks like anyone is getting awarded these days ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

moniquill: You're the one who wanted to make a delineation between fanfiction and Normal Books.

balearicbitch: and i still stand by it. fanfiction isn't literature nor should be treated like it.

moniquill: Ok. I hear you. You're objectively incorrect, and welcome to be wrong in your wrongness. I'd say 'have fun with that' but it's clear that you're not having fun and that you don't want anyone else to have fun either. It must be a miserable way to exist, and I sincerely hope that you're able to move past it someday.

balearicbitch: have fun with your little blorbos, im sure what the literary world needs right now is another ali hazelwood

[t3a-tan]

Pursuit of Gnosis (1/?)

No, not that one Scaramouche-

Here's what I wrote for Ryker's birthday! I will probably write a second part, possibly more, we'll see. G/t interactions appear pretty late into this, but I hope you enjoy ^^ Let me know what you think!

---

“Órale, my Zorrito is all grown up! Come here mi vida, I need a kiss before you go…”

Ryker held back a groan as his mother pulled his face down to her level and began to pepper him with affection.

“Mama, I'm not a child anymore—” He protested, though he couldn't help that a chuckle escaped his lips. Even now, when he was standing at the precipice of discovery, going out into the world to take his research even further, she still insisted on treating him like he was a baby.

Once he was allowed his face back he cleared his throat to get rid of the embarrassment that was starting to heat his cheeks, instead throwing on his jacket and picking up his bag. Most of his belongings were already packed and being sent to his new home beyond the walls of Nirgend.

“Will you be okay out there on your own without your mama, eh?” She asked warmly as she fussed with the buttons on his jacket, doing it up and flattening any wrinkles down. Ryker smiled reassuringly when she looked up and met his gaze.

“Of course, mama. I'll be fine, and I will come back to visit. A palabra.” He promised.

“Ah! Vaya, mi vida… I just remembered, I found your old journals in a box under your bed. I know the carriage ride will be long, so I thought you might like to take them with you— to flick through. They're just collecting dust here after all.” She turned and picked up another bag with some difficulty, and Ryker was quick to bend down and take it from her.

“Careful with your back…” He scolded lightly, before glancing down at the bag of books he was now carrying. I have to admit, it would be interesting to read through… I probably have some old theories in here too. He looked at his mother again and leaned down, kissing her on either cheek. “Thank you, mama.”

He waved to her as the carriage left; his bags now settled beside him rather than weighing him down. He blew a kiss, smiling as she caught it and placed that hand on her cheek, blowing her own kiss back. He mimicked the gesture and waved again before sitting back on the carriage bench with a sigh.

His gaze was drawn to the bag of journals again. She's right…it will be a long while before reaching my destination. I may as well start now. Reaching down into the bag, he felt around for a few moments, searching for the first one. Just how many are in here?

Keeping journals was something he started when he was young, and now he made sure to write something down every day that he could. His more recent journals had already been moved over to his new home, and it hadn't even occurred to him to bring his older ones as he didn't even know where they were.

Until now.

He pulled out a scrappy looking journal that had some scribbles on the front. Ryker chuckled to himself, recalling the moment that Ines found his journal and drew pictures all over the cover. He had been mortified when he found that out, making sure to hide his journals much better from them on to prevent anyone else from reading it, despite her assuring him that she hadn't looked inside.

Turning to the first page, Ryker started to read.

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- - -

Journal 1, Entry 001.

- - -

Hello! My name is Zorro.

I turned thirteen years old today, and my mama gave me this journal as a gift! I got some other cool presents too, like the pencil I'm writing with and a cupcake for later.

She said this journal was made by people on the outside. One day, I would like to go outside the walls and see the big cities. I heard they're as big as a whole country!

I'm gonna be a famous scientist someday, and then the Sovereign will have to let us all out. Mama can have a nice house in a forest like she's always wanted, and I'll get myself a pet gryphon and fly wherever I want.

- - -

Journal 1, Entry 062.

- - -

I read in the paper that Queen Seraphina will be ascending today. Mama is excited, but I can't help but notice that the next in line is very young to assume such responsibilities.

Seraphina has been Queen since even before my mama was born. Opa said that he was twelve when she took the crown.

I know she isn't our queen, Anderna do not have our own ruler because we live under the Sovereign of Gahenn, but I know she is nice. When mama was little, Seraphina greeted our kind from outside the gates. Mama said she even waved at her.

I wonder what it would be like to fly like the angels do. I know that shifting is against the Sovereign’s law, but sometimes I wish I could just to see what it would be like.

We have a new neighbour on the floor above us. Mama said there's a girl my age, and she invited the new family over for dinner. I hope we can be friends.

- - -

Journal 7, Entry 011.

- - -

I managed to finish with the top grades in my classes when it comes to sciences, literature, and mathematics. I've already started searching for further education so I can focus on magic research. Ines has been helping me apply for things.

She is going to be an artist. Although I am not usually one for the arts, I have to admit that her paintings are very beautiful. Though, I prefer she doesn't paint near my work, due to the many times she has ended up spilling paint on the papers.

Although I feel a bit anxious about moving out, I know I cannot stay living with mama forever, as much as she claims she wouldn't mind. I will make sure to visit— not that it's difficult in this city.

- - -

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“Dr. Ryker?”

“Hm?” He hummed, not even looking up from the entry he was reading when he heard his name being spoken. It has been hours since the carriage had first set off, but Ryker had hardly noticed; too focused on reading.

“Do you need help with getting your bags on the boat, sir?”

Now that got his attention. He realised that the carriage was now stationary…and that his stomach was beginning to complain from a lack of food.

“Ah. No, that's alright. Just a moment…” He held out a hand placatingly before starting to put the journals he had read through back into the bag. Once everything was secure he picked his luggage up, bending down to get through the door and step out of the carriage.

At this point the sight of the carriage driver's nervous expression no longer fazed him; he knew that the rest of Gahenn was still prejudiced towards Anderna, and he was just appreciative that they weren't being combative. Many people had already taken issue with an Anderna moving into their country.

He had stopped listening to the news for that reason, growing tired of how often they liked to complain about his kind as if they were a plague spreading throughout the land rather than him being a scientist seeking to better the lives of everyone. It was the new hot topic that everyone seemed to have an opinion about.

“Thank you for the ride.” Ryker nodded his head towards the driver in appreciation, receiving a hesitant nod in response. He watched silently as the carriage headed off, turning and going back in the direction it had come from. Once he could no longer hear the hooves trotting against the dirt road he turned, walking to the dock and boarding the boat.

It would still be another day or two before he would reach his destination, so upon reaching his room and having himself a meal, he started to read through his journal entries again.

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- - -

Journal 12, Entry 201.

- - -

It's so refreshing to work alongside people as passionate as I am about the potential sciences behind magic. Some more so than others, but regardless I enjoy it greatly.

Although we have made no discoveries that would change the way our world views magic entirely, I feel that we are close. I cannot sleep some nights because I just want to write hypothesis after hypothesis, and then I become too excited over actually testing these hypotheses to rest. Ines always scolds me for it.

Souls are still something that we don't fully grasp. They are difficult to observe and any papers made on them offer very little or very inconclusive data on how souls work. Souls are linked to magic but how exactly they are linked and why some races can perform certain kinds of magic whilst others can't is still a mystery.

I think too many people are looking at it through a theological perspective, thinking about why the gods gave certain races souls with high magic capabilities, and others ones with low capabilities. I personally believe that a biological approach would be best, as much as my peers disagree.

Because of the fact that Anderna cannot travel outside of Nirgend, our access to research is limited. Although this is a frustrating setback, I know that the Sovereign's law cannot be changed without some convincing. Once I make a breakthrough and show the world outside that Anderna are not to be feared, I hope that everyone will be able to go wherever they please.

Tonight I'll be going out for drinks with my coworkers, and no doubt I'll be looking after them all since it seems none of them have gotten past their university phase when it comes to pacing themselves. It will be fun anyway since Ines agreed to come along. At least I won't be mostly sober alone.

- - -

Journal 17, Entry 046.

- - -

I've made a breakthrough.

We have been looking at things all wrong— magic isn't something that is created; it is ever-present, like oxygen in the air. Souls are just the conduit for activating the magic that's already around us— and genetics play a key role in determining what the output is.

I need to observe this phenomenon further before taking it anywhere. Once I have a more solid hypothesis I will bring it to the others’ attention. Magic researchers tend more towards theology than biology and I don't want my own discoveries to be muddied by this factor.

Perhaps a new department may even be created? A new field of research entirely? I could be at the forefront of history, leading not just the Anderna but all of Gahenn to a new realm of scientific understanding!

A great woman once said that, “Scientific discovery is not the unveiling of truth, but the relentless pursuit of understanding—each answer leading to new, uncharted questions.” - Syl Sheridan.

I can only dream of the paths and questions that will follow.

Ines is just as excited as me about it. I really love her. Maybe one of these days I ought to tell her as much.

I've heard some things on the radio that there are tensions between the Sovereign and Queen Mary. Ines seems to be getting a lot about it, but I don't know much. Politics were never an interest of mine, but I theorise that it's not much to worry about. The news is likely blowing things way out of proportion for shock value.

- - -

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Finishing the last entry, Ryker let out a sigh of relief. It had taken much longer than he thought it would; his entries later on had become much longer winded and in depth, but it still felt nice to get back into the headspace of a younger him. Now he was thirty-two, and had much more responsibility on his shoulders.

His research and findings on magic had gained him great fame and reputation all over Gahenn, and he had even heard rumours that Syris was taking an interest in his research too. When he was a young boy with ambitions to be a famous scientist, there was a time in his life that he felt it was just a pipe dream…

And yet, now he was outside of the walls, exploring the world and taking on new ventures with the same ambition he had all those years ago. Sure, Anderna were still not allowed outside of Nirgend, with him being the only exception, but he hoped that would change with time. If he lived well and did good, people would understand that his kind were not to be feared.

He arrived at his new home; a large house that was in the middle of nowhere. It was an hour journey to get from his house to the city by carriage, but he didn't mind. Most of his research involved field work, and once he developed a hypothesis and gathered material that was when he actually needed a lab.

It took only a few days to unpack everything; mostly books. The furniture had already been set up beforehand by the same people who brought the rest of the boxes. As soon as he was finished unpacking he hastily grabbed a bag, a notebook and pencil, as well as some equipment to collect samples and readings, before heading out of his front door.

He requested to be placed in this particular area for one main reason; Gortoa. It was a mere twenty minute walk away from his doors, and that fact made him giddy with excitement. He had always wanted to do a more in depth analysis on the magical phenomena within the ancient forest, so having it so close was convenient.

Ryker could hardly contain his excitement, keeping his pace at a slight jog just to get there faster. The main thing he was hoping to find were wisps; he had many theories about what they were, and if he was right then it may be the most accurate way to study souls because they could be observed more easily.

He entered the forest, marvelling at the sight surrounding him.

The ancient forest was flourishing and bursting with life. The grass was soft, wildflowers and clovers dotted all across the forest floor, as trees as tall as tens of metres tall towered overhead. The canopy of golden leaves was so thick that it allowed almost no sunlight through— and yet the forest was illuminated by glowing moss hanging onto the trunks of the trees.

The gentle sound of a babbling brook could be heard in the distance, alongside the singing and chirping of birds flying high above his head. It was truly breathtaking. Now I understand why Ines wants to paint here so badly.

The sight of a faint blue glowing flower in the distance caught his attention and he hurried over to the water, eyes widening. Is that…?

Kneeling down beside the gorgeous iridescent flower, he reached down and let his fingers brush against the delicate petals, feeling the magic contained within.

“A mage lily… this is incredible.” They were rare flowers that were sought after not only for their beauty, but also for the astonishing amount of energy stored inside. If I bring it with me I will be able to use the magic stored inside to test ways to artificially activate it!

His clawed fingers delicately grasped the stem as he prepared to pick the lily, only for a shout from below to stop him in his tracks.

“Stop!”

He jolted back, eyes snapping open in shock as he heard the flower seemingly protest his actions.

“Oh my gods. Did the mage lily just speak..?” He gasped in surprise, leaning down and peeing at the flower more closely with growing interest. If the lily was sentient, did that mean magic could bring things to life? Could plants really have souls? How was it capable of speaking anyway??

His breath hitched as he saw a tiny figure step out from under the petals of the lily, with pale almost blueish skin and petals rather than hair. She looked kind of like a mage lily, if it grew legs and came to life. Ryker's mouth was agape as he stared down at the little person, his fingers twitching with the desire to pick them up.

What are they? A pixie? No…pixies haven't been seen for centuries now. And this…thing, doesn't have wings. His mind raced with question after question, a desire to know more filling him and making it almost impossible to think clearly. Just as he was resolving himself to pick up the tiny figure, she spoke again.

“Hello…” Her voice was smooth and serene, like the water surrounding the lily pad she was stood upon. Her weight seemed practically non-existent, or at the very least not enough for the lily pad to register it. Despite Ryker's temptation to grab her he refrained as he met her teal gaze, recognising her personhood. There was a soul in that gaze.

“What are you?” He blurted out the question before really registering her greeting, eyes shining with intrigue as he let his hands rest against the grass again instead of hovering so menacingly close to the tiny being. If he kept them like that he was sure he would have given into temptation sooner or later.

“U-um…” She edged a little closer to the water before looking up at him again and responding. “My name is Suiren.”

Ryker frowned slightly.

“I am Zorro. Although most call me by my last name, Ryker.” He introduced himself, placing a hand against his chest sincerely before humming. “But that didn't answer my question. I asked what you are, not who.”

There was a beat of silence between them, with him waiting intently for an answer and Suiren hesitant to give one. She sat down on the edge of the lily pad, letting her legs hang in the water. He watched with great interest as the legs that went into the water seemed to become part of it, completely invisible.

“Don't pick the mage lilies… the magic inside them just ends up spilling out and it can disrupt the balance of magic in this part of the forest.” She explained, still avoiding the question, and now avoiding his gaze too.

“...I see. Well I won't pick it then.” Ryker assured, as much as it disappointed him. He didn't want to be too hasty and end up ruining his research in the process. He could find another magic source so long as he was patient.

Wait a minute…

“Ah— wait. How would you know that it disrupts the balance of magic? And what exactly do you mean by that?” He was no longer interested in the flower at all, more fascinated over the tiny being who seemed to have a deeper knowledge of magic. It was doubtful that she was a scientist like himself, so he needed to know why.

As he leaned down closer, his face now hovering right above the tiny figure he bristled when she suddenly fell into the water.

“Wait!” He attempted to make a grab at the tiny flower person, not wanting them to get away before he could get his questions answered, but his hands grasped nothing but water. How did..?

Ryker's lips pursed together in disappointment, brows furrowing as he watched the ripples from his hands eventually steady once more. Just like her legs before, it seemed her whole body could become invisible in the water…or maybe she became the water? Whatever it was, he desperately wanted to know more.

I don't think she'll come back…not at the moment at least. I'll see if I can find any information about what she might be later, but for now I should continue to look for wisps.

He sighed and stood up, looking down at his warped reflection in the water and straightening his jacket once he realised the collar had popped up. He took out his notebook and scribbled down as many notes about the tiny being's appearance as he could before snapping the book closed again and shoving it into his bag. Stepping away from the water's edge, he resumed his search.

He didn't notice the teal eyes peeking out of the water and watching him leave.

[pianokantzart]

Yo, if you guys have an insta pot I can NOT recommend this recipe enough.

[icewindandboringhorror]

On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

[p1x1x]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Ahhhhh! I'm absolutely invested in your fantasy AU! I love it so much, and I can't wait to see more content of it! (Take your time, of course! Don't rush yourself!) I was wondering (sorry if this has been asked before or if this is a silly question) but would you mind if people drew their OC's in this AU (hope that made sense) and made fanart of the AU? Anyway, have a wonderful Morning, afternoon, evening, and or night! :}

Thank You! i'm actually writing an indulgent tidbit right now! no one is having a good time in it!

you guys can Absolutely fuck around in this fantasy sandbox! i don't mind people having fun with my aus, cause they're here for that reason - for fun! to play with characters like they're dolls! to practice worldbuilding (tho that's just a special treat For Me)! I'm not very serious about aus <3

[purpurussy]

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[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."

A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕

[dandyshucks]

i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[todayisafridaynight]

their playlist sucks

[inniave]

so fucking sick of the constant misgendering. it's exhausting. even from fellow queer people??????? who know me?????????? HELLO?????????????

[aurorashard]

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