#gonna look it up. i usually do but i am tired this morning and i need to just get some coffee and take my meds so i can call someone to

[front-facing-pokemon]

[bigfatbimbo]

Hi, I have read so many of your ff and find your type of writing really intriguing and keep me excited. The Dom!Reader is a real passion!

I was thinking about a Smut with a very needy Lucifer and cockwarming, if it’s possibile 🗣️

Thank you so much and I will continue to follow your updates!

A/n — wow tysm that means a lot! unfortunately I don’t have a lot of time tonight so this might be a little short. However I am in desperate need of more sub!lucifer so here you go.

warnings — cockwarming, degrading, sub!lucifor, dom!reader

“Stop squirming,” you commanded, voice harsher than usual.

“‘m sorry, my dear,” Lucifer said weakly, attempting to stop himself for moving his hips. 

You sat on his cock while playing on your phone, both of you in his comfortable arm chair. Usually you would be nicer and give Lucifer what he wanted sooner, however he was being increasingly impatient.

You were mildly disappointed in him, he was normally so good for you. But you could feel him getting more desperate under you.

His thighs started to shake and he buried his face in your neck. Pathetic, really. You were barely moving and he was getting so worked up.

“Please,” he whimpered in your ear, “Oh, god please, anything.” 

You frowned at his begging, “Can’t you wait a little longer, Lucifer? Be a good boy.”

He whined and hid his face in your shoulder once more. He decided he was going to be good for you and wait. Despite the building pressure in his cock and the smell of your hair the sweat on his forehead and—

He couldn’t hold himself back, before he could even think about it, his hips bucked up into your cunt.

Outraged, you hissed and pulled him back by his hair.

“Who told you that you could do that? Did I give the okay?” you snapped at him.

“N-no, no ‘m sorry, I didn’t—“ He pleaded desperately, only to be cut off by you rolling your hips.

He whined loudly as you fell still on his dick once again, morning the loss of attention.

“That wasn’t even twenty minutes and you’re already whining like a bitch for me. What happened to being my good boy?” you inquired, yanking his blonde locks back ever so slightly.

“Nononono, please, I-I am, ‘m your good boy,” Lucifer’s legs started to shake beneath you.

“No, you’re not,” you began moving up and down on his cock, agonizingly slow. “You’re a pathetic whore.”

“Please— please, nngh,” his eyes filled with tears at your harsh words, and the way they clashed with your loving movements.

He hated being bad for you. All he wanted was to be good and make you proud of him, make you praise him.

“Tell me what to do, I’m sorry, ungh, please, I just wanna,” A tear rolled down his cheek as you continued humping his cock, “wanna be your good boy.”

You took pity on him in this state, he looked so needy, so ready to please. You leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek and then his lips. 

He leaned into it, thinking he was forgiven and feeling relieved until he felt your hips stop moving. 

You laughed coldly, “then you’re gonna have to fuck me yourself baby, with no help.” 

He sobbed half heartedly and did what you asked, Pathetically rutting up into you all on his own. His hips got tired so fast.

He whined in frustration. But he would do anything to be your good boy again.

[babygirl-riley]

Hi I have a request so it’s like Simon and his wife arguing pretty badly like to the point where she’s shouting bare at him she’s on the verge of tears and while their arguing their new born cries so the reader goes upstairs to the crying baby once their baby is calm she doesn’t even go back downstairs to talk to him she just like stays in the baby room and goes on her social media to distract her self from Simon.

Hii so I have this written in my notes I always do that so I don’t forgot what I’m gonna ask and I hope this is what u meant tho cause im so slow it acc took me bare long to understand 😭

Quiet Home

You and Simon have been back to back arguments. Before you both could finish this one a loud cry interrupted the fight.

A/N: this is exactly what you asked for 😭 So embarrassing truly 💀 However this really tugged the heartstrings

“I want to be close to you, but I don't know what to do.'Cause if we are near to through, it may make it worse.”

Warnings: baby blues, depression, anger, arguments, fighting, yelling, screaming, baby crying, swearing, soft!simon, husband!simon, happy ending

simon x reader guide

simon x reader family

You were exhausted, you would clean, go get groceries, wake up every hour with the newborn, and everything in between. Usually you had Simon right beside you and help you with the smallest things. However, duty calls. Price promised Simon a couple months leave however, it was an emergency.

When Simon first brought it up, you knew he saw the rolling of the eyes but you brushed it off. Simon brought it up later and you just tried to push it away. Eventually it blew up. Things were said and yelled that weren’t meant to come out. Simon slept in a different room and he was gone for a couple of weeks.

You didn’t answer his calls but text him updates. It was petty but it’s a petty time. You were promised to have your husband here with both your child. Yet you are here almost falling asleep anytime it was early in the morning to feed the baby. You sat outside of the room of your baby as she bailed and bailed, being irritated and tired. Eventually you would go in sure but you were so scared that you would yell at her for being a baby.

After the couple of weeks you tried to brush it under the rug as you made Simon’s favorite dinner. Knowing he would be home. He text you stating that he will be home around 7 o clock and he was excited to see both you and the baby. 7 went to 8, 8 went to 9, 9 went to 10, 10 went to 11, and so on. The food went cold and baby was down. Especially you were tired.

You already put the food away and sat in the living room. You watched the clock before you angrily got up and started the bath. You needed to cool down. You heard the heavy footsteps heading down the hall. You rolled your eyes with the clock read 1 AM.

Simon noticed the light beaming through the room you both shared. Inhaling deeply he stepped in and rounding into the bathroom. You stood with a robe on and touching the warm water.

“S’rry ‘m late.” He said watching your movements.

“Okay.” You said not looking at him.

He frowned and shook his head. “I had a ton of paperwork and didn’t notice the time. Thought I had enough time.”

You didn’t say nothing as you went to the cabinet and pulled out your favorite salts for the bath. Simon watched as you poured them in and went back to put it away. “Y/n please.”

“Please what Simon? You were late. You weren’t here. Shit happens right? Emergencies happen. It’s whatever at this point.” You scoffed as you finally looked at him.

Simon noticed the anger in your eyes. He was upset that he left without resolving the last fight. He was upset that when he called you didn’t want to talk. He was upset he wasn’t home when he was supposed to be and not seeing his babygirl. He also noticed you are tired. Exhausted even. The bags. The purple shade underneath your eyes. “It’s my job you knew that when you signed up for it.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You don’t think I know that? Don’t you dare throw that in my face Simon. We were promised a break for our child yet he drags you back and you are willing to without a second glance.”

“Really? It goes back to me not carin’ about our family huh? That’s what you said before I left. You think I care more about my job than us.”

“Yes! Yes I do! I think that you are stuck in a loop without anyone but you! You are fine with just going instead of being here!” You yelled starting to walk out and brushing passed Simon.

“It’s my job! I have to go! I can’t leave my team behind!” He yelled back following you.

You scoffed as you ripped your robe off, ripping open your drawers. “Right but you can do it to us.” You mumbled pulling out sweats and a t-shirt.

“What’s that supp’se to mean?” He basically growled.

You snapped up and looked at him. “Ever since Millie was born it was like you have been gone. You will help yes but how long did that last before you skipped your happy ass to Price,” You yelled pulling the sweats up as you felt a sting of tears coming. You laughed as you heard nothing from him. “I have been doing this by myself with no help! Nothing Simon!”

“That’s not fair! How many times do I have to say it’s my fuckin’ job…”

“You have a job here!” You screamed as tears started to spill and right before anyone could say anything a wail broke through the air.

You both stood there for a minute before you raked your fingers through your hair. You wiped your eyes angrily. “Damn it,” You pulled your shirt on before walking out, grabbing your phone on the dresser. “I am sleeping in the other room.” You slammed the door shut before walking to the baby’s room.

You opened it as Millie screamed louder. You cried as you walked closer that turns to a sob. You didn’t know what to do. How to do it. You don’t know how to keep her asleep and fed and changed without being upset. You gripped the crib hard as you couldn’t move. You were tired and your baby needs you. “I’m sorry,” You cried as you picked her up and shushed her softly. “I know I know.”

You sat in the rocking chair as you let your baby fed. You scrolled on social media seeing all the happy couples. All what they are doing. All your friends looking like they don’t have problems. You missed Simon, not like he changed, just his touch, he soft voice when he whispers I love you. You missed his laugh when you both would have that marriage banter. You missed his tea.

You are afraid that maybe having a kid was a bad idea. That it ruined or tainted everything. You looked at your baby and inhaled. How could you think like that? What has she done to make you feel that way? It seemed like anytime Simon was around you were angry. Small arguments that turned into this. Your lip trembled and you held your baby closer to your chest. Tears prickling your eyes.

You threw your phone on the ground and sobbed. You were a monster. How could a mother think like that? Why would a wife yell at her husband for doing his job? You kept thinking about all the bad things that happened or been thought of that you didn’t notice that your baby was being scooped up.

When the cold air touched your skin, you opened your eyes panicked. You thought you dropped her as you looked down with tears blinding you before you felt a hand on your cheek. You snapped your eyes to see Simon, holding your baby girl close to his chest as she was asleep. “Baby,” He whispered concerned on his face. He was kneeling as he wiped tears after tears. “Come on let me put her to bed and let’s go talk please.”

“No,” You mumbled as you stood up. “I got her.”

Simon stood up and shook his head. “Please, you look tired.”

“I-I no she needs me.” You whispered but made no move to grab her.

“She has me too,” He said quietly. “Go to the kitchen please.”

You stared for a moment and looked at your baby. How small she was compared to him. How secure she looks when he was holding her. You nodded as you wiped more of the tears away. “Okay.”

Guilt pinged your chest as you glanced once to see him bouncing a bit as he slowly put her down. You walked into the kitchen and sat at the island as quiet tears slipped. You are tired you felt your body relax and felt heavy. “Baby,” You snapped your head up and saw Simon holding a kettle. “Do you want tea?”

You nodded once and looked away. It was quiet as he face the kettle waiting for it to go off. “I’m still mad at you.” You mumbled.

Simon nodded as he turned to lean against the counter. “Why is that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Simon you know why.”

Simon walked up and leaned his elbows on the counter. “Y/n I’m not doin’ it to hurt you two.”

You froze for a moment before looking away. Thoughts of how it could be different with him not having the damn job. However, he was right he wasn’t doing it to hurt you. “I told Price to call someone else but…he needed me for what I know.” You slowly looked at him as Simon looked the other direction. “I fought the old man about it for days. I didn’ say nothin’ cause I knew you would be upset. I didn’t notice that I was pushing you and our princess away. Just-just tried to figure out how to get out of it…I’m sorry.”

Now you felt even more bad. He tried to fight not to go and fought for the two of you. You inhaled but don’t exhaled afraid of sobbing once more. The moment Simon looked at you, you sobbed and hid your face with your hands. “I didn’t-I’m so sorry Simon.”

Simon walked around and shook his head as he turned the chair to gently pull you on for a hug. “Baby I should have said something and not fought it alone.”

You sobbed and sobbed as everything came down. “I’m so tired Si. I am tired of being awake so damn early. I am tired of cooking. I am tired of not being able to do anything. I am tired of fighting with you. I am sorry Simon. I should have been m-more understanding. You don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve to marry such a bitch. I have been so ru…”

He gently pushed you off to grab your wrists to show your face. Simon smiled softly before grabbing your chin with his thumb and finger. “I know. I know. You been overwhelmed with so much. We will figure it out yeah? It’s okay, we are fine. I married you for you even when it’s rocky. It won’t always be perfect.”

You calmed down a bit as you leaned into his touch. “Okay.”

The kettle goes off as Simon kissed your forehead to walk over. You sat still as Simon came around. “I will be here right now, try my best to help you my love.”

You looked up and saw him, his eyes glowing with love. You inhaled and nodded as he pulled you back into his chest. You snuggled in and felt warmth throughout your body. God no one deserves Simon Riley.

[brickmvster]

please don't go (i'll eat you whole) | Leon Kennedy x Reader

synopsis: You make love to Leon before he leaves you.

word count: 1,906

warnings/tags: leon kennedy x fem reader, established relationship, smut with feelings, angst, pre-spain or just pre-mission in general, some light fluff if you squint kinda (i'm sorry), p in v sex/penetrative sex, unprotected sex, aftercare

author's note: i'm gonna be honest. i am a little nervous. more so than usual bc this is my first time writing for leon! i love him so much, he's definitely one of my comfort characters, and i wanted to write something angsty but also kinda bittersweet like this for a loooong time and i finally got around to it. i really hope you guys enjoy, comments are always appreciated <3 this has been proofread more than once, but just in case, any and all mistakes are mine! also, just fyi, i wrote this with re4r leon in mind, but you can imagine whichever leon floats your boat if you really want to lol.

p.s. it's not written in here but pls pee after sex 😭

minors do not interact, please and thank you!

You clung to him for dear life; as if he was going to disappear in front of your very eyes.

You were above him, peering down into his deep eyes. His eyebrows were knitted together in pleasure and his lips, which were currently rosy and swollen after the frequent kisses you had given them, were ever so slightly parted as soft groans emerged from his throat. His large hands never stayed still for longer than a minute – he gripped your waist before sliding them down to your ass, kneading the soft flesh before moving them up toward your breasts, squeezing gently, before bringing them back to your waist, where he helped with guiding your languid movements. You moved your hips like an expert, riding him as if you’d never have the chance to again.

With the rain pattering against the window and a sliver of moonlight filtering through the room, it was almost like a scene from an erotic novel. The room carried the scent of sweat and sex and was filled with the noises that spilled from your lips non-stop. You didn’t even know how much time had passed – but you knew it was late. You knew Leon had to be up in the morning. But you wanted to prolong this moment with him for as long as possible. Leon wanted to as well, as every time he got you close to your peak, he slowed down, dragging out your orgasm in a way that was almost painful, but you enjoyed every second of it.

You were growing tired, your legs beginning to shake as your rhythm became a bit off-kilter.

“Leon…” You moaned, his name coming out so softly it almost wasn’t audible. But Leon, ever so attentive, heard you loud and clear, and he knew what you were trying to tell him.

He flipped you over with ease, while he was still inside of you, spreading your legs further apart and starting up a steady pace. All you could do was grip the bed sheets, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he drilled into that spot that made you see stars. He wasn’t aggressive or rough, but his thrusts were certainly hard-hitting and relentless, and you knew you only had a few minutes.

At some point, you closed your eyes as you tried to focus on your impending orgasm, feeling as if you were in a complete haze – but Leon’s voice pierced through your foggy mind.

“Please look at me.” He said, his low voice sounding a bit strained and even a little desperate; who were you to deny him of what he wanted?

It took a momentous amount of effort, but eventually you were able to open your eyes and keep them open, looking up at him. Leon lowered himself a little, allowing you to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. The slightly different position made his thrusts feel even deeper, and you cried out into his neck, your fingers going into his shaggy blonde hair.

“Keep looking at me. Please.” He said softly, and so you did, maintaining eye contact with him the best you could as he continued to piston his hips into you. Suddenly, Leon was becoming blurry; you could feel the wetness on your face as tears began to fall. Leon often made you cry during sex – he was a fucking god in bed after all and usually made you feel so good that he’d leave you sobbing from the intense pleasure after multiple orgasms. And while that was definitely the reason you were crying now, you also knew that there was an underlying reason for your tears. Leon knew the other reason, too.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He asked you sweetly, still keeping up his quick pace. All you could do was nod fervently, digging your nails into his back. He always loved when you did that.

“Yeah? My sweetheart is gonna cum for me?” He urged, and the pet name that rolled off of his tongue only made matters worse.

“Fuck, Leon–please, give it to me.” You said, your voice trembling. You felt all of the telltale signs. There was a tight coil forming in your lower stomach, ready to pop like a balloon. Leon could sense this, could hear it in your voice and could feel it in the way your pussy was squeezing around his cock. He raised himself just a bit, lowering his hand down between your legs, using his thumb to rub your clit in circular motions while he continued thrusting.

Leon’s name emerged from your throat so loudly that you even drowned out the rain. Your eyes squeezed shut, your back rising off the bed in a beautiful arch, your climax hitting you in waves. You felt like you were in heaven, the tears falling even more freely from your eyes now. Leon just ogled at you like you were a work of art. In his mind, you were.

He was also close, and mere seconds after your orgasm his own came crashing down on him too. With a few more sloppy thrusts he found himself stilling inside of you, his release filling you to the brim. The feeling of being so full of him was one that you would never grow tired of.

Eventually, you came down from your peak, your limbs feeling like heavyweights. All you could do was lay there and cry some more, letting every single emotion overtake you completely, your sobs shaking your entire body. Leon was comforting you in an instant, pulling out gently and lying next to you, allowing you to bury your head into his chest. The two of you laid like that for several minutes, with Leon cradling your head and rubbing your back.

You did calm down after some time passed, and that’s when Leon tried to get up, but you clung to him again.

��Please don’t go.” You said, your voice small and hoarse. “Don’t go, Leon, please.”

“I just wanna clean you up, okay?” Leon replied, wiping away the wetness on your cheeks. You didn’t even care that his cum was leaking out of you and making your thighs a mess – you just wanted him to stay by your side. But you knew he was just trying to take care of you, so you reluctantly released him.

Leon kissed your cheek before getting off the bed and going to the bathroom. While you waited for him, you tried to keep your eyes open. You didn’t want to sleep, because falling asleep meant that morning would come quicker, and truthfully you didn’t want the morning to come at all. You knew it would be coming no matter what, though – but goddamn it, you tried to prolong it the best you could, even when your eyelids were growing heavier by the second.

Leon came back, now clothed in his boxers (that you didn’t even notice he had thrown back on), a small washcloth in hand, and a glass of water that he set on the bedside table. He pushed your legs apart yet again and wiped you clean, touching you so gently as if you were some kind of porcelain doll. It only made your heart grow fonder. You were going to miss these moments of tenderness.

He made you sit up, just enough so you could drink the water that he had prepared for you. You took a small sip, to which Leon encouraged you to “drink a bit more, sweetheart,” so you did, and when he was pleased, the glass returned to its spot on the bedside table, and shortly after he was crawling underneath the comforter with you.

The warmth of the comforter and Leon’s body next to yours made it even more difficult for you to stay awake. Leon saw you struggling, catching the way you would doze off and then immediately wake yourself back up.

“Please, rest.” He muttered into your hair. You hugged him tighter.

“Do you have to go?” You asked him, even though you knew the answer.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Was all Leon could say in response.

You felt a lonely tear roll down your cheek yet again. But you were far too exhausted to cry some more. Instead, you sat up, looking at Leon intently. He returned your direct eye contact, sitting up himself to lean against the headboard and match your height.

“Promise me,” You started, holding out your hand. Without hesitation, Leon held it, locking your fingers together and giving your hand a slight squeeze.

“Promise me you’ll come back home.” You asked him, like you always did before he left for a mission. Every single time, he would give you the same answer.

“I promise.” He replied firmly. You knew deep down that asking Leon to make promises like this was unrealistic. He never fully understood what he was getting himself into until he arrived at the mission location – and you knew that despite his skills as a trained government agent, accidents always happened, and there was no way to know when things would go awry when he’s out in the middle of nowhere. But hearing him utter those two words before he left eased your worries just enough.

Trusting Leon was always easy.

“I love you.” You said softly, fitting back into Leon’s side perfectly, like you belonged there.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Leon replied, before tilting your chin up with two gentle fingers and kissing you with a fiery passion. You two lazily kissed each other until sleep started pulling you into its dark embrace. You didn’t fight it this time, resting your head on Leon’s chest and drifting away to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

The next morning, the two of you shared one last breakfast. You mostly sat in comfortable silence. You asked a couple questions about the mission, but didn’t get straight answers – it was confidential. You knew that already but always liked to ask questions anyway.

Right as Leon was about to walk out of your door, you stopped him. You took a few moments just to stare at him – he was as handsome as the day you fell in love with him.

You brushed some hair out of his face, kissing him slowly, savoring the feeling of his lips on yours for these last few minutes. When you pulled away, you were sporting a warm smile, feeling your eyes sting as tears threatened to spill. You kept them at bay.

“Don’t you dare–” You paused, your trembling lips making it difficult to speak. When you collected yourself, breathing in and out, you continued.

“Don’t you dare ruin this jacket. I love it on you.” You said, referring to the brown leather jacket that Leon had bought himself recently and was currently wearing. He had a tendency to ruin clothing items on his missions, and you hoped this one would survive.

Leon chuckled. The sound immediately filled you with warmth. You were going to miss that sound; God knows how long you’d have to go without hearing it everyday.

“Copy that.” Leon replied, a laugh bubbling out of your throat.

You shared one more embrace. The final hug was one the both of had trouble ending. But it had to come to an end eventually.

And then, Leon was gone. All that was left was a memory.

[wonijinjin]

seventeen’s hiphop unit when their s/o falls asleep on them

author’s note: was feeling tired, wrote it quickly hehe. let me know if you guys want the other unit versions aswell! the vocal unit version of the fic is available here.

synopsis: what the title says

word count: 0.7k | genre: pure fluffiest fluff | pairings: hiphop unit x gn! reader | warnings: mention of food in wonwoo’s

you were laying in bed with cheol, pillowtalk being the routine of most of your nights, just casually discussing how you spent your day. “then i had to scold mingyu because he wasn’t listening and we couldn’t make progress regarding the lyrics.” he explained, voice low and quiet, waiting for your usual giggles about his members being silly as always, but silence was your only reply. he looked down at you on his chest, seeing your eyes closed, mouth slightly open, a bit of drool coming out of it, right onto his shirt. “seriously? man, my shirt is gonna get soaked.” he sulked jokingly, knowing fully well you couldn’t hear him, otherwise it would’ve earned a betrayed whine from you. “you are lucky you’re cute, i will let it slide this time.” he giggled while trying his best to keep his voice down as much a possible. he rubbed your back while looking head over heels at you, easing you to dreamland even more so, whispering. “good night my love, see you in the morning. i love you.”

wonwoo knew you were tired the moment he saw you when he arrived at home, so he figured that it would be a matter of time when you were gonna stop fighting sleep and let your eyelids get heavy. he was editing the photos he took on his walk earlier, you snuggled up into his side, watching him do his magic in different editing softvers on his laptop. “these pictures are so pretty wonwoo.” you said sleepily. he smiled softly while looking into your eyes. “thank you sweetheart, but you are way prettier.” his cheesy line normally would’ve made you burst out laughing, but as he expected you were already half asleep, eyes closing for longer amounts of time every minute. a moment later he sensed how your head felt heavier on his torso; he kissed your forehead and patted the crown of your hair, smiling sheepishly to himself seeing you rest at last. “my sweet baby.” he said while shutting his laptop down, holding you closer to him.

“wow, the special effects are amazing!” you commented to which mingyu hummed in agreement. you and mingyu were watching a movie, your head in his lap. you were invested in the plot, but it was a bit late in the evening. in fact it was so late that mingyu had actually kind of dozed off for a few minutes, resting his eyes after hours of work with woozi in his studio, the screen’s hue taking a turn on his optic nerves. when he opened his eyes he did not expect to find you asleep, especially since you chose the movie; it was one of your favourite director’s new films. he took a moment to just stare at your face shamelessly, feeling like he was falling in love all over again; your cheeks were squished into his thigh, nose scrunching up from time to time thanks to a few strands of hair tickling it. you were just so adorable in his eyes. he brushed the hair out of your face, stroking your cheeks gently. “i am so lucky to have you. i will always protect you, my darling.” he muttered, draping a blanket that was resting on the couch next to him over your slumbering form.

you were in the practice room with vernon since he had to work overtime with their newest comeback approaching, you offering to stay until the end so the two of you could go home together. he knew you were exhausted from all the exams you had to take, and even tried to talk you out of staying, but you insisted, getting into a comfortable position on the floor, head resting against the wall. he sat down next to you, drinking a bottle of water while you put your head on his shoulder. “i should’ve urged you to go home. look at you, so tired and in an uncomfortable room!” he whined, feeling extremely guilty about the situation. you didn’t reply to which he raised his head a little, upon doing so seeing your relaxed face, soft snores and breaths escaping your mouth. he slowly lowered your head into his lap, but not before putting his hoodie on it, making up for the lack of a soft pillow. “i should take a break anyways. sweet dreams, babe.” he smiled, gently kissing your lips.

[cherriesformatt]

a day || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: what would a typical day as Matt's girlfriend would look like

warnings: pure fluff

word count: 1,6k

a/n: idk let me know how I did English is not my first language but I am working on it

🍒

I was on my way from a long, Friday, morning meeting and all I was thinking about was going back to bed and never leaving it again. My week started with my car breaking down out of nowhere, then I got my period (which is not as bad when you think about it because it would be worse if I didn't get it), and then I had an actual meeting, in an actual office, with actual people (I usually work from home in my pajamas). 

I had to drive my boyfriend's car to the meeting downtown. I am glad that I could, but let me tell you one thing, my boyfriend's car is giant and to park this lady downtown I needed to leave 30 minutes early. 

chris 🦋:

waiting for u outside thx for picking me up kid ❤️

"oh fuck" I said to myself as I quickly did a U-turn before it was too late. Was it safe? No. Did everyone survive? Yes.

I totally forgot that I was supposed to pick up Chris from his own meeting since Matt couldn't because I had their car. I dialed Chrise's number.

"hi, ur okay?" he asked. 

"yes, I just might or might not forgot to pick you up so I'll be there in 15 okay? I'm sorry I had a rough morning..." 

"Bro no worries I'll pick up some coffee while I wait and you drive safe okay?" I smiled because wasn't he the best? He doesn't even drink coffee. 

"Okay I'll see you there"

I ended the call and typed Chris's location. It wasn't that bad with the traffic so I was there in less than 15 minutes. 

I was able to park where he was waiting so he got into the passenger seat and smiled at me while I started driving again. I really want to be home. 

"I would say good morning but I'll keep that to myself. Got you an americano and banana bread" He put my coffee in the cup holder and threw his backpack on the back seat. 

"Thank you, that's really sweet, I am literally half dead so that will help" I laughed and took a sip of my coffee. 

"I still think that my brother is dating a weirdo, how can you even drink it black and unsweetened?" Chris looks at me with a disgusted face. 

"You are all literally bunch of weirdos so I just matched the energy you know" I blinked at him and stopped on the red. 

"How was your meeting? New fresh love is gonna be fire. I got the drafts in my mail this morning. Did not change a thing. You and the team did great" I said and smiled at him. 

I was a graphic designer and helped Chris at the beginning of his brand, but I did not really want to work for him so I just help sometimes if it's needed. I am really happy that he still likes to know what I think about the projects tho. I also used to work for Laura but not anymore. That's basically how we all met. I quit after me and Matt started to be a thing. 

"I know right? Well, I knew you will love it. The meeting was great, we should be able to make everything work by the end of the month. And guess what... I actually got samples and I have a pink set for you kid" 

"Honestly... made my day, I am going to wear it for everything now" I laughed.

"Just don't post it yet" He said and started to click things on the car's screen.

"Just use my phone for music" I gave him my phone and he typed my code and put our favorite song by lil skies on. 

"Still can't believe I memorized Niall Horan's birthday just to get to your phone" 

I blinked at him and started rapping with the song. I loved make a toast. Music taste is probably one of the things that made my and Chris's bond strong. Don't get me wrong I love Nick as much as I do Chris, but he just always gets me and we were best friends since day one. The funny thing is that me and Matt did not really liked each other at first. 

The ride home made my mood better. We sang and laugh, I wasn't tired of my life that much anymore. I took my shoes off while holding all of my stuff. Matt was on the couch watching something while we made our way up the stairs. 

"Hi baby... How was it?" He asked as soon as he saw me.

"Crap, I am going to call Laura to take me back" I laughed and put my stuff on the table and went to wash my hands in the kitchen sink. I then walked up to Matt and just threw myself next to him to cuddle his side. 

He kissed my forehead and started to rub my back. 

"I am going to take a nice nap, you kids have fun but not too much" Chris waved at us and went back down the stairs to his room. 

Matt rolled his eyes and kissed my head again. 

"How about we do something nice together? Nick is going to come home with Madi soon, I think, and that means laud. We could go to that beach you like and just get food and watch the sunset later" He asked.

All I was thinking about was his cold hand on my back and how much I just loved that man. He knew exactly what I needed.

"Yes, please. I just need to change. I wore a bra man, can you believe this?" I sit back up. 

He laughed at me and shook his head. 

"Go then," He said patting my thigh. 

I went to put my new fresh love set in Matt's bedroom, used the bathroom and when I was ready we went out.

"Wow, so it's your car now, huh?" Matt started to change the mirrors and seat but he also raised his eyebrows looking at my stuff next to the shift gear. 

"Baby it's only essentials to drive, okay?" I smiled and got comfortable in the passenger seat. 

We drove to get food and dessert. The weather was perfect to just spend an entire afternoon on the beach. Boys did not have any work plans today so I knew Matt was all mine for the rest of the day.

We sat on the beach, had our food, and just talked or cuddled in comfortable silence. That's what I mostly love about spending time with Matt. We could just sit the whole day without a word and be alright with it, but also we could talk for hours and we would always have something to talk about.

"I love you Matty, thanks for taking me to the beach. This new project sucks but I know it's going to be better after that. I really needed just you today" 

I kissed his sweet lips. He tasted like the cherry Pepsi that we just had. He pulled me into his lap and slid his hands under my hoodie while he kissed me back. 

I rested my forehead on his as I pulled away and smiled. 

"Anything for my girl, I love you kid" He kissed my nose and I just wrapped myself around his body.

"I am not moving, you might as well carry me to your car like this" I said into his neck. 

He laughed at that and hugged me back.

"Or we can just stay here" He lay back down on the blanket. 

"I promised your brother that we are going to watch Criminal Minds with him tho" I said.

"Sometimes I just wish you and Chris weren't the same person y/n..." He joked and looked at his phone, holding it above my head.

"Let's go back after sunset in that case baby"

We did watch the sunset, my favorite part of the day. We came back home and spent time with his brothers as I had promised Chris. 

"Spend the night?" Matt whispered in my ear while the last episode for tonight ended. 

I smiled and nodded. I was off tomorrow and did not want him to drive me home that late anyway.

We said goodnight and went to his room. 

"I will go take a shower" I said and opened his drawer to take a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. 

"Go ahead, I went shopping while you were gone. I did restock your basket under the sink. I hope I did it right" He scratched his neck looking at me.

I had my stuff here, but I usually did the restock. Especially my period stuff under the sink.

"Matt...you did not have to do that, thank you, baby" I said pouting my lips.

"I wanted to, I want you to feel comfortable here. Not only you tho, all our girlfriends that come to our house. It's great that you did the basket and stuff" He smiled and I kissed his cheek.

"You are too sweet Matthew"

I went to the bathroom, when I was done he went to take a shower while I waited in his bed scrolling on TikTok.

When Matt came back from the bathroom I looked at him. He was wearing just his pajama pants. 

"Should I just say what all of the girls in my books would say? Matthew, you are such a tease" I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Oh my god, would you stop?" He got into bed laughing at what I said. 

"You love me for that" I put my phone on the nightstand and rested my head on his chest.

"Goodnight Matt" I closed my eyes.

He turned the lights off and tucked us in with the blanket. 

"Goodnight sweet girl" He kissed my head while I was already half asleep after this long day.

The best way to end the day is knowing that I will wake up in his arms the next morning. 

[dr3c0mix]

Alistair x (platonically) Teen Reader

In the fic he is like oh my god a bride, he walks in and instead of an adult..or a bride-

They find a teen, who literally threw a pebble at him, an angsty teen💀

I’m very happy to read ur fics and usually pair them with teen/child mc because I find it funny because they expect the love of their life

and teen mc standing there :🧍‍♂️

anyways sorry for the long request, luv ur writing, and ur art :D

Yandere! Evil King x Teen! GN! Reader

CW: platonic relationship, Alistair is a bit of a DILF so do with it as you will, Dads are hot you guys!! READER IS A MINOR.

👑 Who is this sassy lost child?

👑 His minions kidnapped you while you were on a carriage ride back to your kingdom.

👑 He was hoping for like a princess or something to marry and take over the kingdom with or whatever so like...what tf he gonna do with you???

👑 Clearly you were too young to be in a situation like this, but theres no way he's giving you back without a reward, so yes he still holds you for ransom.

👑 "Child, I am Alistair, King of-ACk!"

👑 Did...did you throw a pillow at him?!

👑 "How dare yo- AHK! Stop it!" another one..

👑 You refuse to listen to anything he says, you just wanted to go home

👑 You two had a bit of rivalry for a bit. He hated you and you hated him.

👑 He promised not to show any affection or care towards you since in his eyes, your actions didn't deserve it. How can someone be so rude to a king !?

👑 But he starts to notice you don't eat much. He never sees you in the dining hall and has only seen quick moments of you nibbling on some bread or pastries the servants gave you.

👑 He scoffed, so irresponsible! You must eat a proper meal right this second or you'll starve!

👑 You're surprised to see a meal prepared for you during your routine trip to get a snack from the pantry with a note on the plate.

👑 "Next time, ask for a proper meal. I don't want your parents to think I've been starving you. -Alistair P.S. go to bed early."

👑 Huh...

👑 Alistair smiled from the doorway of the dining hall, watching you eat up with a smile on your face. You might have been too scared of him to ask for food so you've been sneaking snacks while he wasn't looking.

👑 Of course he wasn't doing it because he cared about you, he just didn't want royalty like you to resort to such pathetic means to eat!

👑 Why are you still sad? Perhaps he should get you some things to keep your attention..

👑 He asks (threateningly may I add) about your hobbies or interests.

👑 The next morning your cell (which has been upgraded to a lovely room in the castle because he didn't want you to be filthy and gross in a dungeon) was filled with anything he could find that he thought you'd enjoy.

👑 Don't think he wants you to be happy! He's just tired of seeing you sulk everywhere!

👑 He denies everything, but you swear you could see a tiny smile on his face when you hugged him happily.

👑 You start being a little more open to him, showing him anything you've made or done with pride and he'd receive it gratefully, but he won't show it of course.

👑 "I made you this friendship bracelet!"

👑 "I've seen better jewelry."

👑 "Oh I'll take it back then I guess.."

👑 "No, it's mine now, back off."

👑 Drawings and the like that he said would be thrown out as soon as you left would be seen framed in his room

👑 It would be a..waste of good canvas..

👑 And of course he buys a few books of your choice for you to read, he'd be damned if your brain turns to mush.

👑 Bro bro he'd be the type to let you swing around while holding onto his bicep.

👑 If you ever have any problems, or come to him in a bad mood, he'd have no idea how to help other than to sit down and listen to your troubles.

👑 He's not the most physical when it comes to affection, but you bet your ass he's gonna do everything he can to cheer you up.

👑 At this point he's rewriting his demands for the ransom. Either your kingdom lets him sign some adoption papers or he's starting a war.

[b0ng05]

Sam Carpenter x F! Reader - Mornings Like This MDI 18+

Word Count: 2013

Prompt: Sam Carpenter and her girlfriend being silly and making breakfast.

Warnings: Strap-on, a little bit of degradation, poor jokes I wrote in when I was stoned.

Also, not Proofread. Masterlist

I woke up to a crack of light peering through my curtains. The light blinding my eyes for a few seconds as I rub the sting away. I take a deep breath, stretching out my stiff limbs. As I arch my body in an ‘Excorcist’ type way, I catch a glimpse of Sam sleeping beside me. She laid on her stomach, a pillow tucked between her arms and head. Her dark hair sprawled out wildly along the pillowcase. A bit of drool pooling from her chin to the fabric as she slept. Half of the covers thrown from her body, assumably from her getting too warm at night. Most of her back on display as she usually slept in her sports bras, last night being no acception. I smile as I begin to climb out of bed, deciding to wake up Sam with breakfast, despite my poor cooking skills. As I stand up, the fluffy covers fall from my body, leaving me cold. Being too lazy to search the floor for my shirt, I walked to the kitchen. The cold air didn’t end in my bedroom, the thin fabric of my bra not doing much for my temperature.

I walked over to the cupboard, grabbing out a pan and two plates. I grabbed out the bacon and eggs from the fridge. I decide to start on the bacon first, knowing that I sucked at multitasking. Cutting open the package, I throw some bacon on the pan, hearing the initial sizzle and smiling, thinking about how great a cook I am. What I didn’t think about was what the sizzle meant. Within a few minutes, I’m being shot with bacon grease. Every second was me hissing in pain and cussing out the bacon for being such a rude bitch. With each insult, the bacon fought back, for each cuss, a shot of bacon grease to the tit.

“We have shirts, and aprons. You are aware of that right?” I hear a raspy teasing chuckle from behind me, and the feeling of strong arms wrapping around my bare waist. I smile as I feel her lips pressing against my neck in a tired yet loving way. “I’m aware, but I was gonna bring you this in bed, and then ask for you to kiss my bacon burns better.” I tease back, leaning into her touch as I use the tongs to take out some of the finished pieces. “Oh really? And where are these bacon burns?” Sam playfully pokes my side, her voice filled with sleep. I giggle and turn off the stove top as I finish up cooking. “Got a lot on my boobs,” I tease, not missing the mischevious glint in Sam’s eyes as they drift down to my chest. I playfully slap her shoulder, “My eyes are up here,” I tease, Sam chuckles, kissing my cheek. “ Also, what are you even doing up this early? I wanted to surprise you.” I pout up at her, trying to fight a grin that pricked my lips. “Well, I heard you cussing out the bacon. Did you seriously call the bacon, ‘Fucking whore, bitchwad’? What does that even mean?” Sam grins, her eyebrow quirking up. I sheepishly look up at the ceiling, which was a mistake due to Sam’s taller height. She easily grabs my chin, tilting my face towards her, my cheeks a blushing red. “Listen- the bacon just isn’t cool like that.” I sigh, smiling as I hear her laugh. “God, you’re a dork.” Sam whispers and pauses before kissing me. Her lips pressing against mine in a soft loving way. We pull apart, our foreheads pressing against each others. She lets out a content sigh before whispering softly,

“Please let me finish cooking. That bacon didn’t do anything wrong,” She peeks her eyes open, a mischievous smirk on her lips. “Oh woww, seriously taking the bacon’s side?” I let out a playful scoff, glaring up at her. “There was no witness to testify otherwise,” Sam quipped, a grin on her lips as she slips one of the aprons out of the drawer, tying it around her body. “The red skin on my tits says otherwise!” I huff, taking my seat on the countertop. Sam smirks and holds out her hand for the spatula that sat beside me, I playfully and passive aggressive pass her the spatula with a heavy sigh. “Oh really~? Care to let me see the evidence, preferably in full view, minus the bra.” She hums, glancing at me with a grin. I playfully roll my eyes, playing into her little game. “I actually might need you to do it. Wouldn’t it be corrupting evidence if you let the plaintiff do such a thing?” I giggle, leaning back against the cupboards as I watch Sam cook the eggs.

“Oh, very good point. I think you’re right. Let me just-” Sam smirks, turning off the burner before stepping between my legs. Her hands caressing my thighs, “May I~?” She teases, lifting one hand to snap one strap of my bra. “Go ahead, find the evidence,” I tease, giggling a bit. Sam bites her bottom lip as she slips my bra over my head. She pauses, licking her lips as she eyes my bare chest. “I don’t see any marks yet,” Sam playfully teases. I smirk, running one of my hands through her hair. “What do you mean yet? I already cooked the bac-” My breath hitches as she leans down, her tongue tracing along my breast before she sucks down, her eyes looking up into mine as she leaves a hickey on my chest. Her tongue running along the red mark soothingly before she kisses the spot. “Now we can sue the bacon,” I joke, looking at the mark on my chest. “How? I made it.” Sam chuckled, her hand moving up to grope at my chest. “Haven’t you ever heard of faking evidence, with a blind and senial enough jury, we could totally have a lawsuit on our hands.” I giggle, leaning in to kiss her jaw. Sam laughs, her other hand trailing my spine. “Remind me to never let you be my lawyer.” Sam nods, leaning in to kiss my collarbone. “Hey! I’d be a great lawyer, I’m pro-bono!” I laugh, Sam’s kisses end abruptly as she chuckles. “Oh really? You’d take my case for free?” Sam teases, moving her hands to playfully squeeze my waist. “Of course.” I nod, ”And I’m feeling especially pro-bono at the moment, so if you take me back to our room, I will take your case, and I’ll take it so well.” I tease, my tone both on the verge of laughing and still trying to drift seductive.

“How big of a case are we talking here~?” Sam teases back, lifting me off the counter as she begins to walk us back to our room. “5 month long trial, 7 month, 10 if I’m feeling a bit ambitious-” I laugh, leaning in to kiss her neck. “If you’re this pro-bono, should I be worried about other clientel?” Sam teases, gently laying me on the bed and pining me down. My hands tangled up with one of hers near the pillows. “I’m more of a private personal lawyer, you know you’re my one and only client.” I whisper, leaning up to kiss her neck. “Good girl,” She smirks, “Stay put,” She demands, before getting out of the bed and walking to our closet. After a minute, she comes out naked, with a 7 inch strap around her hips. She saunters up to the bed, standing at the foot as I look at her helplessly, my thighs clenching as she smirks down at me. “Now,” She moves to loom over me, “I don’t intend to waste the breakfast you so kindly started for me, so I’m gonna go fast, and you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are,” Sam whispers, gently biting my neck as her hands move to tug down my shorts and panties. I shiver as the cold air of the room reaches my core with Sam spreading my legs. She reaches down, running her fingers along my slit before slipping two into my core with ease. Her fingers showing no mercy as she begins speeding her movements, her thumb playing with my clit. She smirks down at me, watching as I use all my willpower to keep my hands above my head where she left them.

“Taking my fingers so well~” She whispers, kissing along my neck. The heat in my core begins to build, but before I can reach a satisfying release, she pulls her fingers from my core. “Let’s see how well you can take my cock,” She teases, her hand, wet with my juices, reaches down and jerks the silicon dildo, spreading my slick along it. She positions the head at my entrance, pushing in with no hesitation. My mouth falls into a silent cry as she stretches me out, each inch writhing my body with pleasure. My hands accidentally leave the pillow, clutching around her shoulders. As she bottoms out inside me, she gives me a second to get used to the intrusion. “What did I say?” She hums, grabbing my hands and pining them back down with one hand. She gives a particularly harsh thrust at the disobedience. I let out a loud moan, the stretch aching a bit, but the pleasure far overrode it. “T-to stay put,” I mumble, to which she leans down and gently bites at my chest. “I can’t hear you, honey,” Sam whispers. I let out a soft moan as she attaches her lips around my nipple, her tongue swirling around it. Her hips slowly and gently swirling as she hums, waiting for an answer. “To stay put,” I say through a breathy moan. She chuckles softly, her free hand groping at my other breast as her mouth moves to kiss my neck. “Are you gonna stay put or am I gonna have to let that breakfast go to waste?” Sam teases, being to thrust at a slightly faster pace, but nothing to push me anywhere close near the edge. “I’ll be a good girl, Sammy,” I whisper, my tone a bit desperate as I bite down on my lower lip. My eyes drifting to where our bodies connect. Watching as she begins to thrust faster, the sight of her sinking her strap deep inside me. Her hand moves from my breast to my chin, making me meet her eyes as she speeds up. “You like seeing me wreck you baby~?” Sam smirks, her tone a bit breathless. Her eyes a dark with lust as she goes harder, making me let lose a whorish moan. “Of course you do,” She lets out a soft groan as angle rub the strap back against her clit. “Such a slut for me, such a good fucking girl,” Sam growls, giving a harsh thrust with each statement. Pulling out till just the head was at my entrance before thrusting fully back in. Leaving me breathless and writhing beneath her as I hold her hand with mine above my head. “Gonna cum, Sammy~!” I moan loudly, my thighs beginning to tremble with the force and pleasure of her thrusts. “Cum for me, baby,” Sam lifts one of my legs onto her shoulder and increases her pace, letting out soft grunts and groans as the strap rubs better against her clit at the new angle. “Be a good girl and cum on my strap.” I let out a loud moan as the heat in my stomach explodes, my cunt pulsing around her strap as she fucked me through my orgasm. I tug my hands from her grasp and wrap them around her shoulders. “How about I order breakfast?” Sam suggests sedutively, still a bit breathless. I let out a small chuckle and smirk up at her mischeviously, “What? Pro-bono?” I joke with a giggle, but that’s ended quickly when Sam presses the strap deeper, making me all the more aware of my current place.

[brailsthesmolgurl]

1 YOU, 1 ME

This is a one-shot request by one of the lovely readers of mine, enjoy this one :) Although I must say, this brings me back to the days when I used to be suicidal, so the experiences of mine are translated into the form of reader's POV so that you would get to take a trip of what I had dealt with as well. Just as my other one-shot Delirious, I do not take mental health as to be a joke. I am here for you if you needed someone to talk to, just like how I know you would be supportive of my works. I would do my best to cater to you as well because YOU MATTER <3.

Warnings: Deals with HEAVY Topics, Depression Mentions, Heavy Angst but yes to fluff. Please please please refrain if you are easily influenced by such topics.

XAVIER

When you had arrived at HQ today, Captain Jenna had approached you, handing you a file and informing you about the location of the wanderer as per usual. You studied the file, the wanderer looking like a saber-tooth, with fangs that could definitely pierced through skin like paper. "Good morning." You directed your head upwards and your partner stood by the side of your desk, a smile on his handsome features as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Good morning Xavier." You handed the blue file to him and he took it, opening up the page and started reading through the details just like you did. "This should be a relatively easy mission. You ready for it?" He gently placed the file onto your desk and he waited for you to get up, before walking at the same pace as you to get to the basement parking.

Xavier is wearing his white suit today, the silverish-blue garters an accessory that also serves as a tool. You can tell that he had a good sleep last night given that his blazer was pressed and there is barely a crease on it. Regardless, crumpling of clothings would be normal anyways given the dynamic range of movements hunters have to do to kill a wanderer.

The mission had ended early just like every other time. Your pairing is known to be the best due to the compatibility of Xavier's light evol and your Resonance evol, hence it is an added advantage when it comes to dealing with wanderers. Him dealing damage to one of the wanderers and your evol resonates the same act of his, inflicting damage upon other wanderers without you touching them.

"Shall we go and get something to eat?" Xavier asked you, readjusting his garter and wiping off some of the dried crusts of a wanderer's bodily fluids off of his shoulders.

You flicked your hand, your weapon disappearing on call and you looked over to him. "It's alright. I am a little tired. I'm just gonna head home for the night." You turned and started heading towards the direction of your parked motorcycle, the moonlight only being your source of lighting.

"Wait, don't wander around alone." His warned, footsteps catching up to yours effortlessly. "You might get lost in this forest you know."

Your lack of comeback made him ran his palm across the back of his neck out of embarassment. If only you are still interested in his facial features, then you might just be able to catch sight of him blushing bashfully. "My bike's here. I'm gonna head off. Enjoy your meal." You did not give him any time to revert the same to you. You just hiked up onto your bike and rode off into the night.

The same situation happened for a couple more times, till he got used to it. You would appear for missions, complete it and then you would leave. Just like how he did last time when you first met him but now the tables have seemingly turned. He watched you as you tried to control your breath after the wanderer was defeated. This time it was a huge creature, with a large tail lined with huge spikes that could kill with one swipe and it took the both of you a bit more time than usual to defeat it.

"Hey, y/n, do you---" He walked closer to you, leaning down to get a better view of your hidden face. The long hair of yours a brunette curtain.

"No Xavier, I am fine." You assumed he was going to ask you out for dinner but you were quick to reject, not wanting to add on to anymore complications. "I just needed some time to myself."

"I was meaning to ask, if you are okay?" He stopped for a tad bit. "Is everything alright?"

Your nod was curt but his frown is becoming more prominent by every added minute. "I can tell something is wrong y/n."

"Perhaps I have not been getting enough sleep recently." You dismissed him, walking towards your bike with him following behind you in quickened footsteps. "But I can assure you I am fine."

"But, you barely come to HQ and you have been excusing yourself from dinner with me after missions. Your reason for the past few times have only been 'I am fine' and 'I am tired' which is what's concerning me." He came up to you, obstructing you from getting onto your motorbike.

"Xavier." Your voice lowered. "I just want to go home and rest." With your tone, the blondie gave up, sighing and stepping aside to let you get onto your bike and he watched as you revved your engine and darted off into the embrace of the darkness.

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

The rings of your doorbell beckoned you to get up and off of your couch, the drama on your television turning into white noise in the back. Not that you were actually watching it anyways, the screen was on but your mind was floating elsewhere. This time however, you did not falter into your state of guilt, rendering you a chance to actually sit in still silence. You are admittedly taken aback at the sound of your doorbell ringing as you do not have any visitors checking in anytime soon including Tara. You took your time to get to the door, not even bothering to check the peephole and you swung open your door.

Here he is now, in front of your door, looking down at you from his towering height, with a casual outfit and a pizza box in his hands. Yes, he did pretended he was the pizza man just to get you to open up the door for him. Now he also knows that the peephole is just a decoration for your door.

The sight of you however, made his jaw dropped mentally. Your arm was littered in cut marks, in different shapes and depth, but the crusting of the scabs tells him that this had happened a couple of days ago. You nervously pulled your sleeves down to hide your scars, making intense eye contact with the ground. It did not hit you for you to cover your scars as to a stranger, they would care less of what happens behind your doors. But maybe much of a dismay towards Xavier. He occupied himself within your door frame and you staggered backwards.

"What's wrong?" He placed the pizza box onto the shelf next to him and he gently took your arm, pushing the sleeve up. Your hiss made him halted his actions, eyeing you for a further reaction before he spoke. "Why did you do this?"

"I..." You could not make up any words, tears gathering at the back of your eyes. The guilt flowing its way through your system instantly. It was like you lost all of your control and succumbed to your emotions. The emotions that you were so scared of showing to anyone. Especially to Xavier. With him being your partner, and your crush. You did not want him to report this to the team, and you certainly do not want him to think differently about you. "I...I was scared..." Your fist tightening. "I didn't want to lose anyone else like how I lost Tara."

Ever since that day you found out about Tara's death, you got lost. Blaming yourself was the only viable way for you to forgive yourself. She was stuck with some rookie to go and defeat a wanderer on the day you had called in sick. It was that specific mission with the inexperience rookie that got both her and the rookie killed.

Yes, it has nothing to do with you but it also has EVERYTHING to do with you. What if you did not report in sick that day? Maybe things would have had a better turn? And maybe, just maybe Tara would be able to pull through till you arrived on the scene? You remembered, the way she stared at you as she laid on the battlefield, blood oozing out of all of her orifices. Her eyes a window to her soul, opened but lifeless. As if she died hoping you could have arrived on time.

Xavier said nothing, his breaths slow and steady. Approaching you, the blond haired man pulled you in by your waist, his grip solid. You had sunken into the hole of self-blame, rotating around a death circle and at this point, Xavier could do nothing but to tell you that he is here for you, through his actions. "It's not your fault that she lost her life, y/n. Please don't blame it on yourself. I am sure Tara would not want you to do this to yourself either." He slowly lifted your arm up, analysing the wounds. They are skin deep but not deep enough to damage your skin permanently but he had to wash this and wrap this up quickly before it evolves into a nasty infection.

"I just couldn't stop myself Xavier. It hurts so much in my head that physical pain is the only way to relief it." You croaked with your dry throat. "I just felt so sad you know. Like it really hurts my heart. I don't know what is this feeling." After the first few hours of you losing Tara, you experienced nausea and headaches. Then comes the crying and the grief and then to the self-blame. You had read up about mental pain being able to manifest itself into physical pain but you were too ignorant of how severe this may be. So severe to the point that you had to result to self-harm to remind yourself of the pain you had to go through because of your carelessness. Leading you towards the bathroom, the boy was careful in his words and steps. "I believe this is what one would call grief. It hurts so much mentally that it hurts you physically as well. In this case, you have to hurt yourself to relieve the pain and I think it is time for you to meet a psychiatrist y/n." He sat you down onto the toilet seat and took out the medical kit from your cabinet. His words gave you the confirmation of what you had read about being factual. Kneeling down, he seeked for your confirmation with an alcohol pad in his hand.

When you nodded, he dabbed the pad across your arm and you bit onto your lips harshly to stop yourself from screaming out in agony. You do not deserve to scream as you had done this to yourself. His pause made you look at him. "You do not have to hold back. If it hurts, you can scream. If it hurts, you can cry. If it hurts still, you can talk to me." His eyes were sincere, the cerulean orbs a vast ocean, inviting you to be within his embrace as he opened up his arms to you.

And you fell, straight onto your knees and you grabbed onto his shirt, the blood crusts on your sleeve staining his shirt in the progress but the both of you could care less. You needed a good cry while he knows that you needed comfort. "It's alright y/n, I am here for you. I will always be here for you." His fingers ran through your hair, tucking some stray strands behind your ear, your body shook with every sob you took. "I just need you to know that regardless what happens, you can always tell me. I will never leave you alone, I can't bear to see you in this state because I love you." His sudden confession halted your cries for a moment, staring up at him with the ugliest look you got.

At this moment, you really wished that you could take any other days to hear his confession rather than hearing it from him when you are in such a vulnerable state. Seriously, who would want to get a confession when they are having a break down and they have tears and snot streaked on their face as part of their 'makeup'?

"You are saying this because you pity me, don't you?" You were ready to pull back, a slither of embarassment passed your expressions. "I do not need your pity."

"I do not pity you, y/n. In fact, I had always been admiring you for the things you do. You had uphold yourself well despite you are struggling so much. I really do like you and no matter what I will always be here for you." He reinstated his point and you grabbed hold onto his neck, crying even louder, strained voice echoed through your bathroom.

"I thought, I really thought I would have to deal with this all by myself. I can't, I never know that I am this weak." Your cries a reflection of your sadness and your relief, knowing that you can finally put your heart at rest, not having to deal with the grief all alone like how you always done it to yourself. Xavier placed his hand under your chin again and you looked up into his eyes of blue, with him leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. The death cycle shall come to an end.

ZAYNE

You tapped your feet onto the tiled floor impatiently. Clack, clack, clack. If anyone were to be within your vicinity now, your tapping against the floor would definitely be another added on frustration towards their state. Eyes darting everywhere, focusing on one thing to another. The door in front of you still remained tightly shut. The smell of antiseptic a constant fragrance within the hospital and you were about to get a headache.

You are up for your monthly routine check-up and meeting Zayne has always been nerve-wrecking, not because your heart is desperately trying to jump its way out of your chest and to give Zayne a hug, but it is also because you would like him to examine your brain as well. You figured something has been wrong with you mentally recently, after Tara's death to be exact. You get hot flashes at night, waking up at ungodly hours and sometimes, just sometimes, you would just want to lie in bed all day and not wanting to do anything, let alone eating.

You could not pinpoint exactly what was going wrong until the day you woke up from a nightmare, your chest tightened in a way you had never experienced before. Your breaths short and rushed, but no air was going into your lungs. Your throat had constricted airflow as well, choking you till your tears are being squeezed out of your eye sockets. It was until you had to scratch your arm till you bleed then you only regained consciousness, your breathing slowed, airways opening to welcome the fresh breaths of air that you were restrained from. You thought it was an allergy reaction for a moment but you were sure none of the allergies would get you to paw through your arm, breaking the skin barrier and seeing crimson red to replace the pain you had felt a while ago. Something is clearly wrong.

You had chose to wear a loose sweater today, not wanting to reveal your so-called battle scar to random strangers. Not wanting them to judge you for 'Im so emo, I hurt myself to be cool and I preach that battle scars are a sign for me fighting for my life in everyday society'. You can hear that in your own head, slowly succumbing into a state of blurred vision as you lowered your head, your vision darkening. "It's your turn." The familiar voice brought you out of your own reverie. Another shadow loomed over your hunched body, with straight shoulders and what seemed to be an outline of a long coat, you knew it was Zayne.

"Yeah." You stood up slowly and followed behind the cardiologist into his room. As usual, you took a seat next to his desk, the padded seat warm to your bum. A knob twisting, in suit with a locking sound, it marks the start for your checkup session. The room was filled with tension, as Zayne ran his stethoscope down your back, listening cautiously to your heartbeat as you took in deep breaths. The man's eyebrows were furrowed, eyes narrowed as if your heartbeat had an arrythmia. "What is it?" You asked, noticing that the listening session of his is unusually longer then usual.

"It seems like your heartbeat is slower. And there were slight staggers of arrhythmia on your right atrium. I should run some bloodtests and perhaps get an MRI scan on your heart as well." He retracted the stethoscope away from your back and walked to the front of you, fingers scooped your chin up and you looked at the man in front of you now. Standing tall, with broad shoulders that could be spotted underneath the bulky medical coat of his. He is in his blue scrubs today, perhaps a surgery aligned earlier on and he did not have much time to change out of it.

He took a small flashlight the shape of a pen out of his coat and he leaned down, a waft of his cologne hitting your nose. Minty fresh with a mix of antiseptic, that is what he smells like on the days he has a full schedule ahead. You peeled open you eyes wider and he flashed the light into your pupils, his hazel green orbs in an uncalled staring competition with you. "Pupils are functioning well as usual, but I do realise some redness at your whites. Have you been getting enough sleep?" A slight hint of him caring for your quality of sleep went away as fast as it arrived.

"I...Actually..." Your lips froze, words forming at the tip of your tongue but you could not roll out any of them. It was like your brain was subconsciously begging you not to tell Zayne, in order to not ruin his impressions of you being a healthy individual. He is a doctor, what harm would that cause if you were to tell him that you had been experiencing some mental issues these past few days? Perhaps he would just throw you some medical facts, ask you to drink more water and you should feel better in a day or two.

Then you recalled when your grandmother had passed, he did not show any bits of sympathy towards you other than passing on the box that was left behind by your late grandmother. He did not even ask if you were doing alright when you sat right here in his office, trying so hard to hold those choked sobs back. The thought of him not showing any sympathy towards you during the loss of your grandmother gave you the ultimate decision that you will not reveal anything to him. "I had been sleeping late these days because of paperwork."

The doctor sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the glasses sat comfortably at the bump he has on his nose. "If its so, try not to procrastinate in the afternoon and actually do your paperwork instead of rushing them all at once in the middle of the night." His sound advice not a bit helpful to your fib. "You wearing a long sleeved sweater in the middle of summer would cause you to get a heat stroke, which would directly affect your heart as well. So I would advice you to keep cool whenever you can." He sat down in his chair, picking up a pen and started scribbling away on the prescription tab. "As for now, take these medications for your arrhythmia. Once the MRI is scheduled I will get the nurse to contact you to come in for the scan."

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

"Y/n." Tap tap tap. "Y/n wake up." An oddly familiar voice drowned your hearing, your body lifted off of the floor by a force. "Y/n. Please wake up." The smell of antiseptic filled your nose and your eyes slowly opened up, the blinding lights above made it hard for you to adjust to your surroundings. Your name was called out again and you turned your head a little, catching sight of Zayne, his eyes slightly widened. He was staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. You could barely remember what happened. Ringing in your heads made you winced and the man pulled you tighter within his arms. Your face now against his hard torso. "What happened?"

You blinked your eyes a couple more times and you looked down. Blood pooled on your wooden floors, the wax layered on top of it preventing the liquid from seeping through. Your arms were streaked in red, the evidence clear as daylight underneath your fingernails. It probably happened again, did it? "I...I don't know." You responded weakly, your lips equivalent to sandpaper. "I don't know what happened."

Zayne pushed you back a little and he held your arm up by your wrist, eyeing over all of the bloody and deep scratches to search for a sign of infection. Perhaps, a sign for why would you do this to yourself as well. Zayne decided to come by your abode when you had missed out on your MRI appointment, him knowing that you would not purposely miss out on any medical appointments and even if you have to, you would at least have the decency to make a call to inform.

That day when you left the room, he noticed your charm was lacking, your retorts were non-existent, and your face was ghoulish. You struggling to tell him a piece of your mind, only to retract back and say that you fell asleep late due to paper work caught the doctor off-guard as well. But he is not the type to intrude, to ask you questions that you would not want to answer.

He came by, searching under your potted plants for the key and it was slotted right beneath the jasmine pot that he had given you as a congratulatory present when you got accepted into Unicorn. His heart inexplicably felt warm at the thought of you still caring for the jasmine till this day. He twisted the key into the doorknob and it clicked open, slotting himself right into your doorway and he looked through your apartment. It looked neat, but the lights were not turned on. He heard a loud thud and his footsteps reacted to it, carrying him across your living room and towards your bedroom.

Another thud, this time louder, echoed through your room and he opened the door hastily, immediately catching sight of your body, laying on the floor, jolting as if you were shocked by an invisible electric current. You are having a seizure, in a pool of blood that he could only assume belonging to you. He took three long strides and he was shocked to his core. Your arms were littered with long and narrow open wounds, the culprit being your blood stained fingers. Your eyes were flipped to the back of your head, veins popped out of your neck as one of your hand latched itself onto your forearm and yo dug deeper into your wounds. "Y/n!" He shouted, unbuttoning his sleeves and pushing them up his forearm and he dived down onto his knees to heave you towards him, away from the wall.

He immediately started doing CPR, going according to the beat as he switched between pumping your chest and blowing air into your mouth. The effectivity of the CPR started kicking in when your convulsions started to calm down, your body going from tensing to limp and you laid unmoving on the floor. He leaned down to get a good hearing of your heart. It is beating in a normal rhythm, a good sign that you are still alive. The arrhythmia is gone now but the soon-to-be scars on your arms is the next thing he worries about.

He did not understand, none of the theories he had studied about one's physicality applied. The heart arrhythmia, the sight of you convulsing on the floor, the hearings of your choked breaths as he watched you, the skin deep lacerations inflicted upon yourself only with the use of your fingernails. None of the symptoms matched any of his medical theories. i am not a doctor, pls dont chew me on this :,)

Unless it has something to do out of his field, which is the mental aspect. Zayne being a doctor, although succeeded at a relatively young age, but his expertise has always been within the field of cardiology. Of course he has friends within the psychological field, but it never struck him that you would end up with a mental illness. You had always been fit as a fiddle in his eyes, both mentally and physically. But all it takes is for two accidents in a row to trigger the mental illness for you. If its so, why did you not tell him anything about it? Why did you keep it all to yourself? He knew he should have said something, he should have stayed by your side when he found out about Tara's death. It was too short of a timeframe for you to be dealing with two deaths within a few months' gap.

"It's alright, you will be okay. Everything will be alright." He only remembered during one of the mental illness campaigns he was asked to attend, they taught of ways to identify individuals experiencing mental illness and very little was talked about how can one deal with someone who is having an episode. The speaker said something about acceptance, comfort and validation. And that is to the extent of what Zayne knows.

"Y/n, I need you to take in deep breaths, I need you to calm down." He could not treat her just like any other patient in this damn moment. This vulnerability of hers is new territory for him, but it shows that she is not as strong as she portrays herself to be and this part of her provoked him to want to be there for her even more than before.

"I don't know...I don't know why I am like this." You trembled in his arms, your head spinning and you felt like you were about to taste bile anytime.

"And it is not your fault, y/n." His voice is calm, soothing to your ears. You could feel his hot breath against the shell of your ear and you looked up at him, the lights above him forming an angelic halo. "It shall never be your fault." He pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I am sorry that I was never there for you. From now on, let me be there for you." Other than the kiss on your forehead being a shock factor, the fact he wanted to be involved in your life and your 'journey-to-recovery' made your heart skipped an extra beat. "I promise you, from now on, I will always be by your side, only when you want me to."

You lifted your hand up to touch his cheeks, your palm cold to the touch on his warm face. You swore you saw him blushed for a mere second. "Of course I would want you to be by my side Zayne." And he gave you a comforting smile. The man then slowly inched down, eyes looking between your eyes and lips. When you tilt your head upwards, he took it as your consent and you both shared the first kiss.

RAFAYEL

"Do you want that?" Rafayel asked you, index finger pointed right at a banana boat plushie. Two 'flavours' to be picked from, one with the usual chocolate, vanilla and strawberry theme while the other has a caramel, vanilla and banana theme. You were about to pick for the latter but the man standing beside you was quicker in calling out shots. "I think the original one would fit you better. The colour theme just looks more harmonious than the other."

You watched as he picked up the dart and aimed it towards the target. He pulled his wrist back and with a flick, the dart landed onto the target's bullseye. The stall owner did not look a bit amused, probably thinking that he could scam Rafayel enough money for a meal. Walking over to the banana boat plushie, the guy took it down and handed it to Rafayel over the counter. "Thanks." You smiled, hugging the plushie when he gave it to you.

"Where is my hug?" Rafayel looked betrayed, the signature pout of his surfacing. "I was the one who scored you Mr.Babana here." Yes, he called it Babana. Smiling, you went over to him, arms opened wide and you hugged him, your head settling right into his chest. He smelled of grapefruit and white wood, with a splash of peach as the base. You thought he only used one perfume for all types of events as he has voiced his dislike for strong smelling scents but you were clearly wrong. Musky smelling ones for when he attends interviews, fresh smelling ones for when he attends events, and sweet smelling ones are only reserved for his outings with you.

His chin was propped right above the top of your head, and he smells fresh shampoo. You nagging him about how sakura composites are good for the hair recently is enough for him to know what shampoo you are currently using. To Rafayel, you are not that hard to decipher. In fact, you may be one of the most uncomplicated character he had ever met in his life. Your genuine emotions and expressions a direct reflection to your conscience and that is exactly why he likes you.

"Thank you for the Mr.Babana." You chuckled, pulling away from the hug but his arms remained on your shoulder, he would have opted to hold your waist but he wanted to make sure that you would not be uncomfortable in this situation.

"My pleasure of course." He mimicked your smile and this time, the both of you took a step back from each other and then walked down the path together. The cobblestones beneath your shoe reflecting the lights from the parade, painting them in all sorts of colours that offers more variety than a rainbow. "Y/n, I have to travel abroad tomorrow to attend one of my exhibitions. So, I was wondering once I am back from my business trip, would you like to go out with me again?"

Him informing you about the business trip made you hesitant to answer him. Not because you did not want to go out on a date with him again. You just did not want to be alone. Not when you had just lost a friend to a wanderer. All of the smiles you had presented today are genuine, but deep down, you were worried your remorse would eat you up and ruin the whole date for today. The last thing you want is for Rafayel to be on the receiving end for your breakdowns.

"I am waiting for a yes." You jolted at how close he is to your face, you could practically feel his breath against your skin. He smirked, taking a step back to give you some breathing space, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jeans. The young man today adorned a fitted black tshirt with a pair of jeans, pairing over it is a jean jacket. Simple outfit but definitely looks amazing on him.

"Y...yeah, of course we can Rafayel." You looked down, nervously trying to calm your hyped heartbeats. With that, the date between you two came to an end, with Rafayel fetching you home safely and making sure you got into your home before he drove off.

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

Rafayel had left for his business trip for the past two days. And for the past two days, it can only be described as hellish for you. Jerking yourself off of your bed, you sat straight, eyes widened as cold sweat trickled down the back of your neck. Yet another nightmare, the same one every night. With the sight of Tara laying on the traylike bed in the morgue, awaiting for you to identify her. She was as pale as the walls surrounding her, her body laid rigid, and her eyes closed. It almost seemed like she was asleep but you knew right then and there, she would not be able to open her eyes anymore.

She had a wound the size of a bullet in between her eyebrows. They called it a fatality spot as anything that is sharp enough to penetrate that area and passing the skull would be guaranteed an instant death. Just like what Tara had gone through. The wound however, according to autopsy, was inflicted by something biological, so bullets are out of the question and the only answer you could think of is the act of a berserk wanderer. You kept trying to blink, assuming that if you blinked hard enough, Tara would be able to rise again and everything would be back to how it was like. But, that's not the case most of the time.

Instead of accepting her death, you chose to deny it. Ironic, your identification process of Tara in the morgue is validated but you yourself chose to not accept the reality of her death. You even refused to go to her funeral the day after tomorrow, claiming to yourself that it would only make you hate yourself more than anything else. You were not there when it happened as you were sent onto another mission, a much tougher one that involves civillians. So, Tara was assigned this mission, just to deal with a bunch of wanderers. Or so you heard, but her wound says otherwise. Whatever wanderer she had been dealing with is certainly way beyond what she could handle.

The date between you and Rafayel took place the day after her funeral so the wounds of your grief still remained fresh. With that stated analogy, the first few days of your denial marks the start of your wounds, freshly cut opened, breaking off the surface of the skin barrier but still not deep enough to leave a scar. Now you are in phase two, where blood starts seeping through the wound as it has broken through the skin barrier, cutting deeper. This is where the nightmares become more and more revolting, more and more realistic that you have a hard time differentiating between your trance and reality.

You buried your face into Mr.Babana and you cried like there is no tomorrow. You had to get it out somehow, and the best way you could think of is to cry yourself to sleep again and pray hard so that you would not have a continuation of the nauseating nightmare. When you opened your eyes again, you were met with the warmth of the sunlight peeking in through your window. Sunlight in general, is known to promote energy boosting for one's body but right now, it only did the opposite for you.

Your phone rang, drowning out the sounds of your ugly cries. Shimmying towards you bedside, you held up your phone and you saw the contact name 'Your Favourite Fishie'. You specifically recalled that you had saved his name under Rafayel, but when did it got changed? Maybe it was during that time when he was playing on your phone while his was charging and he seized the opportunity to change his name into something so ridiculous like this. You sniffled, trying to calm your breathing the best possible and you answered the call. "Hello." You croaked out. Shit.

"Hey, y/n. Did I happen to wake you up?" His voice came through the other side of the call. He sounded borderline concern.

"No, you didn't don't worry. I woke up to use the washroom." You spoke, if he were to be in front of you right now, he would be nagging you to speak up but thank goodness your phone has a good microphone to pick up your small volume. "How is your exhibition going?"

"Boooring." You can tell he was rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "That's why I am already on my way back. I will arrive in probably half an hour. So would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

Contemplating, you knew that if you were to meet him in 30 minutes, your puffy face would lead to a telltale sign that you had just cried. Then, you assumed that Rafayel would be disappointed with you. You see, Rafayel had never been the type to submit towards pressure, instead, he is a notorious rebel towards it. It is like he has something personal against stress. With your current status, you immediately felt like you are not worthy to be spending your time with him. Let alone having to have a huge crush on him. What makes you think that he would like you back if he found out about your current state of distress? He would definitely not want to deal with such an issue.

"Actually, today I am not free. I have stuffs to do." You gnawed onto your lip.

Pouting, the purple haired man crossed his legs nonchalantly, sitting himself comfortably in his luxurious car as Thomas drove it. "Like what stuffs?"

You panicked, eyes watery and you sniffled. "I have to go to the doctors. I am having a flu and I don't want to infect you."

Rafayel heard that sniffle of yours and he immediately replied. "Oh, alright. Then you rest well okay? There will always be some other day that I can bring you out for a nice dinner so you owe me that alright?"

"Yeah okay." And the call ended with him saying 'bye and take care'. Hanging up the phone, your lips quivered, chills ran down your spine as you started hesitating about whether you should still stay in contact with Rafayel. You could not possibly land him to be your boyfriend, where did the confidence come from? "I am just not worth it." Your cries then came back.

The next hour went by and you were laying in your bed the whole time, no will to move, no appetite, no will to even meet anyone. You just wanted to succumb to your loneliness, the sound of the fan is the only voice you can hear. The only company you have for now. You had just calmed down from your break down, your eyes full on puffy now and you are experiencing after-cries hiccups. Your mind had a constant voice, reminding you of just how useless you are not only at your job, but also your incapability to keep your emotions in check. Feeling overwhelmed, you curled into a ball and just allow the tears to flow.

The door to your room creaked open but it did not faze you. You were too caught up with the voices in your head but Rafayel's voice made you covered your ears. You are delusional now, great. Until a hand touched your shoulder then you snapped your head towards the source, met with purplish-blue eyes that were filled with utmost concern for you. "Hey, hey what happened?" He climbed onto your bed and sat right in front of you, his large hands cupping your small face, his thumb drew over your cheeks, dismissing your tears. "Why are you crying y/n? Did someone hurt you?"

Your silence marks the end of his questioning and he pulled you into his chest. His solid torso cushioning your head as he laid down with you in his arms, on top of him. "Shh, it's alright." Rafayel held you close to him. "I know things have been tough for you."

"We should stop meeting." Your desolating suggestion made him pulled back in shock, his eyes scanning your face for any smiles or hints of it being a joke but he did not find any at all. "I like you Rafayel, and I think this is not healthy for you."

"Who are you? The moral police? Who are you to determine what is healthy or not for me?" His eyebrows are furrowed in frustration. "Even if you want to push me away, you can't because I am in love with you y/n. I am so madly in love with you that I kept thinking about you everyday, everything that I see reminds me of you, every artwork that I inspect at the exhibition only related to you. So, you can't push me away, no matter how hard you try."

"But, whatever I am experiencing now, it makes me think I am not worth---" His finger silenced you, pressing it against your lips to ask you to shut up politely.

"Do not speak for me y/n. As much as I like to hear your voice, I do not want to hear such unflattering ideas from your pretty head okay?" He ran his hand down the sides of your cheek, his gaze loving. "I want you to know that, I will never let you cry alone, ever again. Do not worry about me being stressed out or anything about you not being able to be in control of your emotions. I am sure I can handle anything when it comes to you, for I had waited a long time for someone like you y/n. Annnnd I will not let something as simple as you going through a period of depression push me away. So, why don't you do me a favour and tell me what is going on in that pretty head of yours?"

His confession surely warmed your heart, with you staring at him in disbelief. You know he had always been showing signs of him being interested in you, but you never thought you would be able to catch sight of him being empathetic towards you. Your sobs came again, this time much more stronger and you leaned into him, spending the day telling him about everything that you had went through and ended up sleeping next to him. Rafayel propped himself up on his elbow and he watched your features, puffy and reddish but you did not lack your beauty amidst all of the chaos you have to go through. He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, a promise to you that he would stay with you forever.

This is the end of this one-shot and sorry my lovelies, this will not be getting an extra episode or anything. It shall only be ending here :,)

P.S: These are part and parcel of my actual experiences, hence I do not downplay or look down on anyone who are struggling with mental illness. As I know it is very tough to get over it. The part where Rafayel had spoken to reader, where he would be by his side blah blah, was actually what my boyfriend told me when I was having a terrible panic attack. So please my girlies, do not settle for the bare minimum and lower your standards for a guy/gurl who could not be better for you. Because you all deserve happiness oki.

[tipsyleaf]

Ballet Shoes and Bulletproof Vests

CW: Recovering from alcoholism (Leons just trying to better himself man

Words: 1k

A/N: 👛anon I've had brain rot because of you. But I still love you pookie.

Blue leotard... Gunmetal blue, his favorite shade. It was almost like you were trying to send a signal through the glass windows of the studio attached to the apartment building gym.

Every weekend for the past few months he'd come down and workout for a two hours without issue. Until you moved into the building a month ago. Walking through the gym in leotards and the same skin tone tights straight into the small studio space.

Leon picked up quickly that you don't seem to be doing mindless pirouettes, pliés or chassé. You practiced the same routine, which means you probably do this for a living. Or at the very least a hobby.

He tried his best to not come off creepy but sometimes he couldn't stop from staring. Leon rarely found beauty in life anymore, something he was trying to fix. His sponsor suggested that life could be worth living if you find something meaningful to live for.

Besides surviving or being a living breathing weapon.

At first, the staring was for more "primal" reasons, but it soon turned to him admiring how gracefully you could move. How sharp your movements were. The clean movements were mesmerizing and very distracting. It certainly didn't help that you were pretty either. But every time you stopped and turned back towards the windows, Leon would turn away immediately. Scared you'd think he was some kind of weirdo or worse...

A pervert.

You were probably way too prissy for him anyway. Why bother window shopping?

You're too pure, jumping around in white satin ballet slippers and him in bulletproof vests with tactical gear. Your worlds can never mix, you're too different. Far too different.

So, with his better judgment, Leon got into the habit of changing his routine and getting up at the crack of dawn like in his army days. Just to go workout first thing in the morning. Leaving the gym as you were coming in.

But one morning you didn't come in as he was leaving. And as usual, he stops at his mailbox, fishing in his jacket pocket as he walks into the main lobby.

And there you were. Stood in front of the mailboxes, sorting through a few envelopes with your tiny mailbox door hung open.

Shit... This is gonna be awkward.

Leon approaches slowly, walking up to his mailbox and ripping his keys out of his jacket pocket. Something round flies out of his pocket with a clatter as it hits the floor. You lift your head to see the green chip rolling across the floor, quickly you step past him and pin it under your shoe.

Leon stares, realizing he forgot to take his chip out of his pocket after his meeting last night. Too tired from a long day at work to remember before passing out in bed as soon as he got home. He can feel his neck heating up, he hasn't even said a single word to you, and now you'll know he's an alcoholic trying to get his life together.

And he's sweaty and gross?!

What a fantastic first meeting...

You bend down, grabbing the green chip from the floor as you walk back. Giving it a glance, you hold it out for him. Slowly he raises his hand, chest tightening as he nods a “Thank You” while taking it.

"90 days is a big accomplishment, you should be proud of yourself." He stared for a moment, fully expecting a dirty look or pity.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. I-I am." His lips drew to a line as you walked back around him, shutting your mailbox and locking it. He gives you a glance as you grab your bag from the floor and give him a small smile.

"You're from 3D, right?" You question, his eyes glance at his mailbox, his lips part slightly. Brain trying to process how you knew his apartment without even talking to him.

"Yes?" His eyebrows raised, your eyes fixed on his uneasy response.

"Hmm." She looks him up and down, almost like she's trying to size him up. Or even taken him in completely.

"A little scruffy for my taste, but you'll get the job done." His nose wrinkled as you stepped past him, and headed for the door.

"The hell do you mean by that?" You turned your attention back to him, smiling again.

"The old ladies in the building, they talk about everyone. Well, anyone interesting at least. And they said you're pretty cute. I'd have to agree." He feels his neck burning again, embarrassment of another kind seeping into his collarbone and rising to his cheeks as he smiles a tiny bit.

He was never great with women.

"Thank you..." He clutches the chip in his hand, running his thumb across the bumped out embossing of the metal.

"And um... I know we don't know each other," you step forward again, gesturing to his hands, "but I'm here if you ever need to be talked down... 3 years for me, still have my bad days, but it gets easier with time. I promise."

He looks a little surprised, not expecting you to know his struggles in some way. He just nods, watching you lean to the side, looking behind him and turning back to leave again.

"Congratulations again on 90 days, Leon." You smile, pushing the door open.

"Whoa, wait. What's your-"

"2B!" You yell back without turning around, watching you leave through the doors leading to the gym. His head swivels, looking at the mailboxes. Seeing your name printed a piece of tape stuck to your mailbox.

His mind wanders, thinking of you as he pulls his bills from his mailbox. A folded over flyer was wrapped around the envelopes. Pulling it off the envelope, he gave it a long look. Your face staring back at his as you're leaping in a beautiful flowing white dress and veil.

Giselle printed in fancy font under you pointed toes along with show times for next weekend.

Staring for a second, he thought, pondering over the words of his sponsor telling him to try new things.

Maybe he should try theater.

[miinatozakiii]

(i love you) for sentimental reasons

kindergarden teacher!sana x fem!reader. (pt. 4)

summary: fate seems to love you and sana being alone together, so do your niece and jihyo.

wc: 8k

warnings: mentions of food ; slight (barely) suggestive(?) ; cursing

pt 1. pt2. pt3.

a/n: thank you all for the kind words and support on this series! it was fun writing it and the support on this has been amazing. thank you and enjoy :-]

-

“What would a young teacher usually order at a cafe.” You ask Chaemin, staring at the espresso machine and pondering. The taller, dark-haired barista looks at you, quirks a brow, then yawns. 

“Do I look like I’d know what your five-year-old niece's teacher would like?” Chaemin mutters sleepily, “I’m tired, it’s early, and me personally I need something strong as hell to get me through this damn shift. Maybe she needs something strong since she has to deal with so many kids running around?”

“What if she doesn’t like strong, what if she’s more fond of something sweet? What if she prefers tea?”

“Well maybe you should’ve asked her or something, how do you not know what your dream woman likes.”

“I’m not gonna ask my niece to ask her what her favorite coffee is, that’s weird.”

“You already make Hana tell you about her teacher, I don’t think that would make anything different, y/n.” Chaemin sighs, “Look, I have to prepare for that fucker that orders six drinks and complains to me that they’re not made in two minutes every Wednesday morning. You have fun figuring out what to order for this wonder of a woman, but make it quick. I need to prepare at least 7 shots of espresso before that damn regular walks in.” He says, walking past you and over to the coffee bean grinder. 

It’s 7:53 in the morning and the form said to meet in the lobby of the school by 8:30. You’re trying to get your daily caffeine in and decided to ask for an extra beverage to give to your nieces' teacher. Is getting a drink for a woman a form of flirting?

“I’ll just get my usual, and then I guess I’ll get something sweeter and I’ll ask her.”

“Okay, so what’s the sweeter thing gonna be?” Chaemin questions, weighing out the coffee grinds for your usual iced americano. You think to yourself for a bit as he tamps the grinds down and puts a filter on,

“Vanilla latte? Hot, since it’s cold out, maybe she would appreciate that.”

“Can’t go wrong with that I guess.” He sighs while pulling a shot of espresso over a cup of iced water.

-

You get to the school at 8:23 am, and by the time you’re all parked and in the lobby it’s 8:27.

The lobby is filled with at least sixty kids, probably more. There are four other kindergarten teachers, you assume they’re teachers from the lanyards they wear. At least ten parents are also present, scattered around the lobby with the teachers of their own students. It’s loud and crowded, you wonder if Hana had gotten lost until you look over to the corner to see Hana waving at you, and return the smile at her before making your way to the girl and her class. 

Sana watches you with the two coffees in your hand and a smile spread across your face as you walk over to hug your niece, making sure not to spill the beverages. You’re wearing a patched, dark-blue denim jacket and a white t-shirt with a graphic that Sana can’t fully make out, and the t-shirt exposes some of your collarbone, Sana notes. The bottoms you wear are simple, yet effortlessly stylish. You have on washed, dark gray wide-legged jeans that compliment your top, along with black laced loafers to complete the look. Sana thinks you look amazing - Your casual, yet striking style is added to her mental list of what makes you so effortlessly stunning. 

After hugging your niece, you make your way over to Sana, the grin that is plastered on your face seems contagious as it makes her grin back. You stand in front of her and greet her with a simple “Hi.” and somehow, her cheeks are already starting to warm up.

“It’s nice to see you, as always,” Sana greets, and you chuckle lightly,

“Yeah, likewise.” You start. The latte that was once about to burn your hands is now at a reasonable temperature, at least one that won’t burn anyone’s tongue (you hope). You look from the latte and back to Sana, “Do you prefer sweet or strong? I stopped by my work and I wanted to get something for you, I didn’t know which you preferred so…” You trail off, looking back at her with uncertainty.

Sana doesn’t know how you’re so perfect.

“Y/n,” She mumbles, looking at the drinks in your hands, “You didn’t have to.”

“I thought you might need some caffeine before working with so many kids you know.” You joke. Sana pauses, you think of her? 

She wonders how often the thought of her crosses your mind (which is a lot), and it gives her a little hope in her heart. 

“You’re so sweet, Y/n. What are the options?”

“I got a vanilla latte and iced americano. I mean you got an Americano when we ran into each other at the store, but I had to make sure there were options.” You explain, though you realize there are definitely not a lot of options. You'd bring her the whole cafe if you could, just to make sure she could have a beverage that she'd like.

“I’ll take the latte, I like sweet things.” sweet things like you, she thinks to herself. You hand her the warm vanilla latte with a grin before another voice joins in,

“Good morning Sana!” A shorter woman chirps. The woman with the bob has her own hot beverage in her hands, and she’s dressed warmly to fit the weather as it transitions from late fall to early winter.

“Jihyo!” Sana cheers, hugging the woman. You smile at the woman (although your jaw tenses a little. You want to be able to hug Sana like that), and she smiles back after pulling away from the teacher. You examine her outfit; she’s wearing a black coat over a dark form-fitting shirt, and casual blue jeans paired with white tennis shoes to finish the look. She also has a beige bag that is hung on her shoulder and a silver ring on her left ring finger. 

Sana looks at the two of you, and she holds back a small giggle looking at your height difference. Jihyo’s head is angled upwards to meet your gaze and even though the woman is shorter – you can’t help but be a little intimidated by such a strong aura: it screams authority. 

“Ah, Jihyo, this is Y/n,” Sana says a bit shyly, and the slightly shorter woman with the bob looks back at Sana with slightly raised brows,

“Oh? Is that so?” Jihyo says amusingly, looking back at your taller self. You seem a little smaller under her gaze, and it’s scaring you a little. Jihyo temporarily washes your worries away by sticking her hand out and grinning at you, “I’m Jihyo. Sana has told me a lot about you, it’s nice to meet you in person.”

“She has?” You question, a brow arching. Sana clears her throat and it stops Jihyo from exposing her, though you wanted to know more.

“Y/n, this is Jiyeong’s mom. We used to be roommates,” Sana quickly says. Jihyo just laughs and nods before Sana adds, “Y/n is Hana’s aunt.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell me that,” Jihyo responds with surprise. Jihyo knew your name and that Sana had a really big interest in you, but she didn’t know that you were her daughter's best friend’s aunt. Sana shuts her down before she can say anything more to make her cheeks redden.

You’re confused, to say the least. Sana talks about you? What does she tell Jihyo? Is she into you? You’re thinking a lot of things and you want answers to all the questions you have running through your mind, but for now, you'll have to wait. Sana walks off, face flushed, leaving you and Jihyo to chat with one another. 

You look over from Jihyo to her daughter, who is talking to your niece and laughing as they converse.

“My daughter talks about your niece quite often,” Jihyo says, and she’s looking in the same direction as you while she sparks a conversation, “Hana seems like a sweet one, she makes my daughter very happy. It’s nice to meet the one who takes care of her, you must be as kind as Sana says.”

“Thank you,” You respond, turning to see her still looking at the two girls, “Can I ask… What else does Sana say about me?”

“You’ll have to find out yourself.” Jihyo simply states.

Aw, man.

-

“This is your chance to talk to Ms. Minatozaki alone! I can’t keep being the one to talk to her and then talk to you! I want to talk to Jiyeong too y’know.”

“Oh.” 

“Papa was right, you need to be not shy for once,” Hana sighs, “I thought you said you had the cool genes!”

Ouch.

Hana had insisted that you sit with Sana after giving you a lecture, or was it her just scolding you? Same thing. You realize that you literally got lectured by a five-year-old, it humbled you a bit. 

The conversation between you and your niece ended after she gave you a pat on the cheek, fist-bumped you, and let you run off on your own as if she was your own guardian – how ironic. 

So, you make your way onto the big yellow bus, looking for the familiar face of someone who you think might be an angel. You wave to her and ask if you can sit next to her, she nods happily. Now you’re closer to Sana than you have ever been, all thanks to that five-year-old, and you’re not too mad about it.

You never fully noticed before, but she smelled really good, not in a weird way or anything – it’s just, she smelled like roses, fruit, and vanilla – it really fits her. Her shoulder was dangerously close to yours, and you figured you’d explode if you guys made even the slightest bit of contact. 

Sana is dressed up warmly too; she wears a thick, dark gray cardigan with a white shirt under, and the hem of the shirt peaks from under the cardigan. She’s dressed in casual pants, they’re loose on her legs and just a shade lighter than the cardigan she wears, and to top off the whole look, there are white sneakers that she wears. Her hair is tied up into a ponytail, and some strands fall over her face. She looks beautiful, you might faint right then and there.

Sana looks at you again and tilts her head a bit,

“You’re not sitting with Hana?” She questions, and immediately regrets it after wondering whether it sounded like she didn’t want you next to her, because she definitely did want to be next to you; in fact, you were the only thing she had on her mind last night before she fell asleep. You turn your head to look back at your niece, who’s laughing with Jihyo’s daughter,

“Hana wanted to sit next to Jiyeong. I guess it’s not too bad that she didn’t want to sit with me if I get to sit next to you now.” You say boldly. Sana looks at your expression, you look unbothered and the way you just flirted with her was so smooth it had her blushing from ear to ear. You give her your signature, toothy smile, and she has to take a moment, it makes her look away for a few seconds,

“Your niece kicked you out?” Sana teases, trying to compose herself,

“They grow up so fast.” You sigh playfully. Sana giggles.

The bus driver gives the signal that he’s ready to start heading to the art museum, Sana stands up and starts to talk to the students.

“Alright everyone, I’m going to need you all to use your indoor voices for Ms. Minatozaki. If you do so, we’ll get to the museum quicker, alright?” She announces,

“Yes Ms. Minatozaki!”

“Thank you, everyone. We’ll be there in twenty minutes, maybe less if you all behave, so make sure to leave a good impression on the bus driver and make it easier for him to get there!” Sana finally says. The students respond with another “Yes Ms. Minatozaki,” and the young teacher counts all the kids on the bus, making sure she doesn’t miss anyone. After making sure everyone is all aboard, she signals to the bus driver that they’re all good to go. The bus shifts a bit as it starts, then it starts moving forward.

In an attempt to spark small talk, Sana decides to bring up the weather.

“It’s getting cold, huh.” She mutters, looking out the window. You hum in response, looking in Sana’s direction, but not at the window. Your look stays on Sana’s side profile, and you wonder how every feature on her face is so flawless, whoever made her took their time for sure. Her nose is angled perfectly, and her plump lips are just barely parted as she stares out the window, you could stare at her forever.

Sana turns her head back towards you and you quickly shift your stare to the window to avoid eye contact and to make it seem like you weren't admiring her for the last ten seconds. You clear your throat.

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Thank you for the latte, it was really good. It warmed me up.” Sana says. Eye contact is shared again and you bite the inside of your cheek,

“Anytime. I could uh, bring you more if you’d like?”

“It’s alright, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m using you for coffee.” She laughs, “But I appreciate the offer.”

“Well,” You start, “If you ever change your mind you can always tell me when you see me.” You shrug. Sana smiles at you again, nods, then gives you that look from your lips to your eyes that turns your heart into a beating mess. She looks out the window again and you have to stop yourself from admiring her the whole time.

A few words are shared between the two of you every time Sana spots something pretty, she talks about how it reminds her of things from her past or her friends. You learn a little more about her, she’s so pure and cute it’s heartwarming.

The bus ride goes well. 

As soon as the bus comes to a stop, the kids are all rowdy again, however, Sana quiets them down with ease. She simply claps her hand in the same pattern as she would usually do to grab their attention, and they clap their hands in the same pattern back, all eyes are on the young teacher now. 

“Alright everyone, we’ve made it! Now, in order for us to get started with our field trip, I’m going to need everyone to be patient and exit as I say. The grown-ups will exit first, then the kids. We’ll go by row and I’ll be the last one out, okay?”

“Yes Ms. Minatozaki!” The kids respond, and you admire how much they seem to trust and adore the teacher.

Getting everyone out of the bus was easy, each kid listened and Sana told the parents to keep them in a group once they had gotten out. Once the disembarking had finished, Sana made sure that everyone was present, taking another headcount. After knowing that no one had wandered away, she smiled and kindly ordered them to follow her.

-

After the guides had introduced themselves, given a brief description and synopsis of what the museum offered, and handed out maps, the class was split into groups of four. There were exactly twenty-eight students, seven guardians and/or parents, and Sana. With that amount of people, it was easy to make the groups.

Originally, Hana was set to be in the group that you and Jihyo would watch over, but Hana insisted that you switch with the parent paired with Sana. Jihyo and Hana talked for a few seconds, which you had noticed from the corner of your eye. They exchanged smiles and understanding nods, and whatever they plotted somehow allowed you to be with this wonder of a woman.

And so, you’re with Sana now.

Sana is happy to accept her new partner; in fact, she’s more than happy to spend time with the woman she’s been gushing over for weeks. 

The groups decide to pick their own section in the museum to start at and make their way through the whole place from there, making sure to meet in a few hours. 

-

Your group had seven kids, and each group did. You and the young teacher had stumbled across a certain section with an adult that would give the kids a thirty-minute detailed guided tour, leaving you and Sana to wait alone together and wander around the nearby exhibits. You two would’ve joined in on the tour, but of course, the max capacity was eight people. 

You had insisted that Sana should go join, after all, it was her class. Sana, being the caring person she was, had assured you it was okay if she missed the tour and stayed with you. The tour guide had made sure that he would take care of the kids, after all, the exhibit was mainly for young kids like them, and he had dealt with many before.

Fate decided that you two spend more time together, and this time, alone.

“Have you been to this museum before?” You ask.

“No, you?” 

“Once.” You mumble, “In high school.” 

“You’ve lived here since high school?” Sana questions, suddenly invested. You nod and look at the painting in front of you,

“I’ve lived here since I was in fifth grade, but in the more suburban area, rather than here in the city.” You simply respond.

“Well,” Sana hums, “Maybe you could show me around sometime.”

“W-what?” You practically choke out, a blush creeping to your cheeks. 

“I moved here at the beginning of the year, I’m still a bit new.” 

“I see,” You begin, trying to recompose yourself, “Yeah, It’s a nice area. I wouldn’t be against the idea of showing you around.”

Sana smiles and turns to face you again, “Maybe you could start by showing me around the museum? We have twenty-five minutes.” 

There’s a sudden nervousness that spreads throughout your whole body, as well as a warmth that spreads across your chest. Sana wants you to show her around, and she asks you like it’s a normal request (it is, but you figure it’s not because the person asking is particularly striking).

You nod your head and respond with a small, “Okay.” and her radiant grin grows.

The exhibits were all unique in their own way – some were filled with modern art, some with abstract art, and even some with Renaissance art. Each section had works that were all tremendously striking; however, the most beautiful thing in the museum had been by your side the whole time.  

Sana makes her way to a pleasant-looking painting, something floral. Maybe it’s an oil painting? She can’t really tell, but it sure is a wonder. It’s detailed and vibrant, the colors complement each other well with such a diverse color selection. Each stroke seems to have been placed so carefully, every single swipe of paint complimenting the stroke next to it.

Sana stares at the painting with much interest, “This one is beautiful,” she says in awe. 

“Very…” you hum, though, you aren’t observing the painting,

Your eyes are fixated on her.

-

The day goes by quickly, unfortunately.

You and Sana aren’t able to indulge in many conversations as you two were busy making sure everyone was still nearby and not running off.

The kids finish the painting activity that was scheduled for them at the end of the trip, and they leave the museum with their hand-crafted art. everything had gone by too fast, you wished it hadn’t, then maybe, you could admire Sana for just a few moments longer.

Sana helps everyone get situated on the bus, so you end up sitting down first and getting the window seat this time. You wait for her.

Sana sighs as she sits down next to you, a bit worn out from the day and keeping everyone in check.

You try to ignore the contact that her shoulder makes with yours when she shifts to get more comfortable in the seat, and you also try to ignore the fact that your knees touch a little, just for the sake of your sanity. Sana seems to be unbothered by the physical touch, and she looks at you innocently,

“I think the kids enjoyed it.” She says proudly, resting her head on the seat. She turns her head a little so that she’s looking at you with the most soft, tender look in her doe eyes, “Did you?” 

“Of course.” You say, voice just above a whisper. Of course I enjoyed it, who wouldn’t enjoy their time with a woman like you? You think. Sana lets out another content sigh, and she rests her head against your shoulder a bit, not even bothering to think about how bold the action is, she's too tired and she figures you wouldn't mind – you don't mind at all.

“I’m glad.” she mumbles, and you hope she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest, “Wake me up before we get back?”

“Of course.” You hum lowly. Her eyes close and her weight seems to shift onto your shoulder more. Your cheeks redden and you let out a small breath as you relax into the seat – you couldn’t be any happier.

-

The chaperones and their kids bid their farewells to Sana, though you stay a bit longer since Hana and Jiyeong want to hang out more. Your mind wanders a bit and you can’t help but stare into the distance, and your gaze somehow manages to land on Sana as you remember what she had said: Maybe you could show me around sometime? The words seem to replay in your head, a thought pops up in your mind.

Jihyo looks over to see you in a trance, and she chuckles to herself as she notices what – or, who your eyes are fixated on,

“Did you two have fun?” The shorter woman asks, a smirk tugging at her lips. Your head turns quickly to her in surprise, cheeks turning a bit red as you realize you’ve gotten caught staring. Jihyo laughs at you playfully, shifting her look towards the woman you had been admiring before, “Sana was really excited to be able to spend time with you today.”

“M-me?” You stutter out, mentally punching yourself for such a response.

“You two are oblivious, I could tell from the few interactions I saw.” Jihyo sighs. 

You look back at Sana, who’s now walking over with a smile on her lips. She looks at you first, then at Jihyo when she meets with the two of you again,

“Everyone just left, sorry for making you wait, Jihyo.” Sana sighs. Her shoulders are drooping down a bit, and she seems ready to go home and rest again, though this time on her bed and not your shoulder (much to your dismay).

She turns to eye you again, and suddenly she’s full of life, as if the energy that had been squeezed out of her had suddenly come back. 

“Ah, y/n. I’m happy that you were able to chaperone. I’ll see you…?” She trails off for you to respond, or in this case, finish her sentence, because she hopes to see you again this week. 

“Um, I don’t think I’m picking up Hana for the rest of this week. My shifts go on until five because I took today off.” You explain, “So, next week.” You nod. There’s a familiar thought from earlier that crosses your mind, you avoid the woman’s gaze and try to forget about it.

Sana notices you biting the inside of your cheek and breaking eye contact as if you were about to say something to her. Sana decides to let it be.

“Well, we’ll be going now Y/n,” Jihyo says, almost sighing. She looks you dead in the eye and raises a brow, almost as if she could read your mind earlier, almost as if she were urging you to go through with your sudden thought. 

“Yeah… Me too. Um, yeah.” Your words are tumbling off the tip of your tongue from nervousness, “Hana, let’s go. Your dad must be waiting at home.” You finally say, waving to the two women and Jiyeong. 

As you depart, Jihyo looks at you slightly disappointed.

-

You’re back in the car after saying goodbye and you stare out the windshield while holding onto the wheel, simply thinking.

The sight of Jihyo and Sana catches your eye from the side-view mirror, and there’s a sudden rush of confidence that takes over. 

“Hana, I’ll be back in a bit.” you quickly say.

Your fingers fumble with the seatbelt that refuses to unbuckle due to your nervousness, though you manage and hurry to open your car door, rushing out. You’re trying your best to prepare yourself for whatever the fuck it is that you’re about to do, your jaw tensing up and your hands trying to straighten up the denim jacket you have on. Self-consciousness and worry took over, but you ignore it, you can’t have Jihyo looking at you like you’re a big loser the next time you see her, can you?

So, here you are. 

Jihyo notices you first and raises her brows in amusement, Sana notices you after seeing Jihyo’s expression shift. 

“Hey, Sana,” You say with a surprising amount of confidence. You clear your throat and your eyes dart to anywhere else but Sana’s eyes, “Can I talk to you for a moment,” You ask, “Alone.” and you practically mumble that last word. Sana tilts her head and Jihyo smiles knowingly, 

“I’ll be in the car,” Jihyo says amused, then grabs her daughter's hand with hers, urging her to come with and leave the two of you alone.

You and Sana are alone now, in the middle of a barely filled parking lot.

“Did you need something?” Sana questions. You nod and it takes a bit for you to continue talking, the words in your mouth getting tangled in your tongue. 

“Uh, well.” god, you really need to get a grip. “At the museum, you uh, you mentioned, well - you said, you said maybe I could show you around sometime? I mean I can. I hope you’re still up for it, I mean,” You close your eyes out of embarrassment and turn your head to the side a bit, and you really try to compose yourself this time.

“This Sunday, yeah. There’s always a flea market on Sundays, they’re on until around eight. We should go, I mean if you’d like. What I’m trying to say is I’d really like to show you around.” You finally say, you say what you’ve been thinking and you say it without tripping over your words. 

“You’re asking me out?” Sana asks playfully,

“You implied that you wanted me to.” You simply say, making eye contact with her again. Now it’s Sana’s turn to be all flustered as she looks up at you. Your eyebrows are slightly raised as you wait for an answer, and her cheeks are dusted a faint shade of pink as you waited for a response, 

“So?” You question again,

“I’d love that,” Sana says almost immediately.

“Really? I mean, yeah- yes. Okay, that’s,”

“You’re so cute.” is what Sana says, and it has your heart skipping a beat, Sana’s heart too, “Let me get your number, so you can text me the details?”

“Yeah, here.” You respond, handing her your unlocked phone. 

You both exchange numbers, and before departing you can’t help but grin at each other, and you grin at each other for a while.

Mission success.

-

You agree to pick up Sana from her place in the evening around five. 

Your fingers tap against the wheel of your car and you tap your foot anxiously as you wait. There’s a sound that’s heard from your phone as it vibrates against the cup holder, and you immediately check to see what it is. There’s a message from the young teacher and your eyes light up immediately as you open it,

Sana

I’m on my way out right now

Can’t wait

y/n

Take your time

Can’t wait to see you

You probably look like a fool who's in love as you read her message, reply, and hit send because you’re smiling at the screen and biting your lip slightly from the rush of excitement that courses through your veins.

Sana shows up a couple of minutes later.

Your eyes widen almost immediately and your cheeks are definitely tinted – no, fully crimson. Your grip on the wheel tightens, and it seems to do so every time you see the wonderful woman. Your heart does flips and beats at an unhealthy rate as you take in everything about her. 

She wears something so striking, but slightly casual too. She has on a black blazer, almost a jacket, you think. It’s worn over a black shirt and the tops she wears are complimented by silver jewelry that loops around her neck, sitting just above her collarbone level. She’s wearing dark jeans that are just slightly loose around her legs, and casual sneakers to really top it off. 

She’s so incredibly stunning that it makes you wonder if you’re dreaming.

Sana waves as she makes her way over and you’re trying your best to act normal – or at least act like this woman isn’t making you completely lose your cool.  

“Hey.” She says, getting in your car,

“Hi.” You say in awe, “You look beautiful.” and that’s just an understatement. You’re unable to look away from her as if your eyes were a moth and she was the flame drawing you in. Sana simply smiles and she’s extremely flattered by your compliment, as well as the way your lips slightly part while you check her out.

“Thank you.” Sana responds as she puts on her seatbelt, “You look really cute.”

You’re going to explode.

“Thanks.” You mumble, quickly turning your head away and back to the steering wheel. Sana plays the passenger princess role too well, with emphasis on the princess part because her looks are something you would expect to see from a descendant of royalty, something in a renaissance painting that has the words 'do not touch' beside it. You adjust the rearview mirror for no apparent reason as it’s already been adjusted, but you’re doing anything to distract yourself from the jaw-dropping sight to the right of you.

As you drive toward the city, there’s the faint sound of a slow romance song playing. The mood is extremely intimate and romantic, you’re having trouble focusing on driving as your heartbeat ups its pace. 

It takes about fifteen minutes to get to the flea market area downtown. Fifteen minutes of small conversation and Sana’s gaze on you every couple of minutes.

You two arrive and you turn off your engine, making sure to get out first and open the door for Sana. She gets out and smiles at you sweetly, which makes you smile back. You close the car door for your passenger princess. 

The brisk winter air carries a hint of anticipation that invites everyone to immerse themselves in the weekly event. It’s early winter and darkness envelops the slightly crowded, dimmed, and busy streets. the sun had almost set completely, though there are bright lights that illuminate the areas which seem to be hidden away from the lamp posts that lighten up the main streets. Each store and vendor has its own uniqueness, selling different types of items, clothing, accessories, and more.

You and Sana walk towards the flea markets, the space between you two getting smaller and shoulders occasionally brushing every now and then. The two of you explore and interact with any vendor or stand that seems to have anything interesting, which helps you learn about one another.

Sana learns that you have an interest in old rings, silver ones specifically. You buy three silver rings, and it all ended up being ten dollars in total. She learns that you have a liking towards graphic t-shirts; in fact, you buy two while walking around. Sana had picked out both for you, telling you that you’d look cute in them, making your cheeks flush, though your cheeks might've been red ever since you laid your eyes on her. 

You buy an old vintage camera and film for less than thirty dollars, and Sana thinks it’s so extremely cute how your face lights up after you purchase the two items, holding them up as if they were trophies you had won.

You learn that Sana seems to love jewelry, and she buys various bracelets and necklaces for herself and even buys one of each for you. You insist that it’s okay and you don’t need it, but you give in when she looks at you with those puppy eyes – you learn that you can’t say no to her. Sana buys a few samples of fragrances, and she explains that she’s always had a thing for collecting different scents, you think it’s adorable. 

You’re the one who had asked Sana on this date, but she’s the one who ends up dragging you to every little section that manages to catch her attention. The knuckles that brush against each other lead to the intertwining of fingers and flushed cheeks. 

After almost two hours of walking around and exploring, you two decide to relax and get ice cream, even in the cold weather because the two of you are warmed up enough from just being around each other, ice cream won’t hurt anyone.

“Have you tried this ice cream place before?” You ask Sana, who’s taking a picture of the dessert in front of her. She shakes her head,

“No, you?”

“Twice. Once in high school with Johnny and last year with Hana.” You explain, taking a bite from the sweet treat in front of you. It’s matcha flavored, though the sweetness is still there. The strength of the matcha is more prominent than the coconut base, just how you like it.

Sana melts as she takes a bite of her strawberry ice cream, her eyes lighting up and shoulders relaxing. You can’t help but laugh.

“What?” Sana questions, 

“You’re just really cute.” You simply say, taking another bite of your ice cream. Sana’s heartbeat quickens. Sana tries to compose herself in front of you, changing the topic of the conversation,

“So,” She clears her throat, “What do you like to do? It’s a cliche and unavoidable question, but other than being a barista do you do anything else?”

“I actually write a little. I used to write for some art articles online, I still do it every now and then.” You explain, “You?”

“Just teaching.”

“Did you always want to teach?” 

“Yeah, actually. I’ve always liked helping others and I don’t know, I like encouraging the kids.”

“That’s cute.” You mumble, “You’re so cute.”

The night goes on and you two learn more than just about your interests in occupations. Sana learns that you rock climb every weekend, which explains why you’re so unbelievably athletic looking and toned. She finds your love for cooking and making drinks extremely cute and admirable, it seems as if the more she learns about you, the more she falls for you. She learns that you moved to the city with Johnny when you were 18, and that was the same time Hana had been brought into your life, one of the best things the universe had given to you. You’re the type of person who lives life to experience the beauty the universe has to offer, she thinks that’s amazing. 

You learn that Sana had moved with the help of Jihyo and that they had been friends since college, Jihyo was also the reason Sana had landed her current job. Sana shares that she’s an only child, and in contrast to you, she wasn’t the athletic type really. You notice how bubbly she is talking to you, her more professional demeanor had completely broken down and a new, lively side was revealed. Sana is incredibly talkative and she rambles a lot, you think – no, you know you could get used to this.

The night had gone by too fast, Sana is back in your car again and you’ve just reached her apartment complex.

It seems that time spent with Sana seems to go by too quickly, and you hope that there's a chance of being able to spend more than just a couple of hours with her.

“Thank you for everything y/n, I really enjoyed tonight.”

“It’s no problem,” You start, “I’m glad you liked downtown.”

“Maybe you could show me around again sometime? I’d really like to do this again.” Sana says, and her toothy grin is so bright it nearly outshines the lights in your car.

“I’m not against that at all.” and you think you might die right then and there from the way your heart beats, and you want this moment to last forever; just you and Sana together.

“I’ll see you then, text me.”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. She opens the car door and your heart breaks slightly, not ready for her to leave just yet.

Sana seems to have read your emotions because she pauses before she gets out and turns to you.

“Wait,” She begins, “I forgot something.” 

Before you ask her what it is that she had forgotten, she seems to answer your question before you can even let any words out of your mouth,

her lips are suddenly on yours.

The contact is sudden and you’re a bit unprepared, but you easily grow accustomed to it and kiss right back, eyes fluttering shut. Sana’s lips are so incredibly soft on yours, and the scent of vanilla and fruit is takes over your senses. Sana pulls away and your lips chase for hers again, and when they meet again it’s like the oxygen from Sana’s lungs had been snatched. Your hand moves to cup her cheek and your shoulders relax in the moment because it feels as if nothing else in the world matters except for her, as if all your worries had vanished just like that. Sana moves her hand to your neck and gently caresses it as you two share a few more soft, slow, and steady kisses, there’s no rush as if this moment would last forever. You two are practically unable to pull away from how much you both like the feeling of each other's lips on one another.

You want to live in this moment forever.

You two finally pull away after what had seemed like forever, though your hands seem to linger on each other a bit and both of your lips are parted slightly. Your lips are still so close that they’re slightly brushing against each other, butterflies are in your stomach and you’re forgetting how to breathe, think, or even function.

“I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I saw you.” Sana mumbles against your mouth, “You’re so cute.” 

If you were in a cartoon right now, you’d think your heart would be dramatically beating out of your chest, and your jaw would be on the floor. You pull away a bit and it’s almost impossible to make eye contact with Sana, but you manage to do so anyway. 

“I think I might die right here right now.” You mumble, it’s the only thing you can say or think of in the moment. Sana giggles and presses another soft peck on your lips,

“Let’s do this again.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out. 

the light from the car shows her flushed cheeks and warm smile as she leans away from you, opening the car door and smiling at you one more time as she closes it. She turns to leave and you’re left in the car alone, your heart beat slowly beating back to its normal pace. 

You put a hand on the wheel and grip it tightly, still processing what just happened before smiling to yourself and driving away from the apartment complex.

Sana has you head over heels, and you want to kiss her again and again.

-

Chaemin had been teaching the new high school student that had been hired. He helped her measure out the espresso grinds, telling her how many grams would be needed for whichever drink, and she listened carefully.

“Hello.” A customer beams, Chaemin turns his head.

“Hello, I’ll be with you in a moment.” Chaemin starts, giving the woman a friendly smile, “Eunchae, just measure out the grinds and pull a shot. Give it a try and I’ll be back.” He says to the young, new employee.

Chaemin walks over to the register and taps at the screen. He gives the woman his signature smile and greets her,

“Hi, what can I get started for you?”

“Oh, I’m not ordering, I was just wondering if y/n was here?”

Chaemin quirks a brow, “Y/n?”

“Yeah, she should be off in ten minutes, no?”

“She’s off soon, just putting stuff in the back. You are...?”

“Sana.”

Ah.

“So you’re the woman she’s been gushing over.” Chaemin laughs, “God she has not stopped talking about you since she met you.”

Sana’s smile grows a bit from the sudden remark and she laughs,

“I see… That’s sweet.”

“You had her going insane for three months.” Chaemin jokes playfully, “I’m glad she finally found a way to ask you out. I haven’t heard her complaining as much about not being able to take you out for about two months or something, though she’s still always gushing about you.”

Sana and Chaemin talk about you for a bit, laughing at your antics and Chaemin decides to tease you here and there. The two get along very well, and Sana is very happy about that.

“You know one time, I think, maybe before you two started dating? She came in the morning and asked me what a ‘young teacher usually order at a cafe’ and I swear she almost-” Chaemin gets cut off when you push him aside, pushing his face away with your hand and squishing his cheeks. He groans. 

“Alright that’s enough.” You say, embarrassed. “Whatever he said, do not listen.” 

Sana giggles and it’s time for you to stop being annoyed by Chaemin and start smiling at the girl you’ve been with for almost three months now. Chaemin narrows his eyes at your sudden mood change, scoffing playfully.

“Hi, Sana.” You say all giddy, “You didn’t tell me you were stopping by,”

“I wanted to see you. It’s also Friday, maybe we could-”

“Yes.” You cut her off, “I’m down for whatever.” 

Chaemin rolls his eyes at you, chuckling to himself, “You’re so-”

“Go back to teaching Eunchae.” You retort, narrowing your eyes and Chaemin can't lie you look scarier than usual, you are infatuated with this woman. 

“I’m not letting this go.” Chaemin finally sighs, walking back over to Eunchae.

Your attention is back on Sana, who’s smiling at you, “Dinner?” she asks,

“Yeah.” you respond, “Where?”

“My place?” Sana suggests, you nod,

"Let me get my stuff and I can drive us."

"Okay." She beams.

-

You two grow extremely fond of each other after spending more time together as a couple. Three months of being together turned into four months, six months eight, and suddenly you’re together for a year. Each and every second that passed by while you were with her is another moment that you had fallen more in love.

You love Sana for so many reasons.

She's the only one you want to see when you roll over in the morning, the only one you want to kiss awake after intimate nights after seeing her with her oh-so-messy hair flowing down in different directions around her. You love to carry her to your now shared living room and set her on the couch while you make her coffee, her giving you the kisses you can never get enough of, ones that you reciprocate and smile into. You love her radiant smile and the way her nose scrunches up when she giggles at you for slipping and falling on accident, you love the sound of her high-pitched giggles so much that you would purposely slip and fall over and over again just to hear her laugh again and again. 

As you grow more attracted and attached to Sana, the physical aspects of her seem to disappear for a moment, you fall for not just her outside beauty, but all the internal aspects. You’re in love with how comfortable she makes you feel – you can sit in silence for hours and there are no words that need to be said because you two simply just enjoy each other's presence. You’re in love with how caring she is, she naturally is a caring person, she always has been. She’s always looking after kids at her job, making sure they’re all satisfied and happy – then she comes home to you, making sure you’re loved, and you return the favor. She’s beautiful not because of the way her features fit perfectly on her face, but because she makes you feel so giddy and happy. She makes you smile and that’s the thing that really makes her so captivating. 

You’re in love with all of her, from her physical beauty to her caring heart. She is the one who you love so tenderly, so warmly, you love her and it’s real, genuine, and you don’t think you could ever love anyone the way you love her.

Sana also loves you for many reasons. She’s been in love with you since the day she saw you – whether she knew it or not.

The first time Sana had woken up next to you she knew she wanted to be with you forever.

Her nose was buried in the crook of your neck and her arm was lazily thrown across your chest while her legs were tangled with yours. The only thing that was heard that morning was your slow, labored breaths, and Sana could feel your chest rise up and down with each one. A smile had formed on her lips as she traced your jawline, her heart fluttered and the moment was so simple, yet so soft. Sana wanted to live in the moment forever.

Sana loved you because you were there when she needed a pillar of support, you were her pillar of support. She loved you because you loved and cared for everyone important to you, whether it was your parents, Johnny, or Hana, you loved them all so deeply and it was so genuine that it made Sana so incredibly happy to realize that you would love her as much as you loved them – it’s almost as this love that you had for everyone you cared about was the most precious thing in the world, and she was someone you shared it with.

Sana loved the late-night drives with you, humming softly to the romantic music that would play. She loved the way you’d mumble sleepily in the morning, your cheek squished against the pillow, it was a cute sight. She adored you when you would pull her aside and serenade her to slow songs in the living room during the evening, and she loved when you'd cook or make coffee for her, how you’d kiss her as she fell weak to your touch, and so many other things that not enough words could ever describe. 

Sana felt so lucky to have you in her life, she was so glad that your niece had her as a teacher because if she didn’t she wouldn’t have met you. You were so glad that Hana had helped you get to know her kindergarten teacher, you were so glad that Johnny had that business trip because it allowed you to meet Sana.

 You’re so glad that a five-year-old helped you meet the love of your life, you're so damn glad.

[himimosa]

attractive things bsd men do pt. I

you know there are things men do without being aware that makes them look hot (fixing watch, undoing tie to relax) I will try to add some more~

dazai, ranpo, atsushi

Dazai Osamu: not averting his eyes from you

You had no idea how you ended up here...

It was 2 in the morning... You were barely keeping your eyes open. And your cute, handsome idiot boyfriend was happily sitting next to you, while you were driving... He was singing along to a song, shouting to be exact...

"Dazai, listen to me... I am not even awake enough to comprehend this shit. But if you think again that... it would be a good idea... to wake me up.. at 2 in the morning... just to drive... god knows whose car... to god knows where... i will make sure that-"

(You couldn't finish your threat. To be honest you didn't know how to finish. You can't use death threats on this man, he would happily accept it...)

"Oh come on darling, don't be like that... I am sure you will love it once we arrive... We even have some good stuff!" He swung two different wine bottles in his hands. You side-eyed him with suspicion

"Did you just take them from torpedo? Dazai please put them back, I am not gonna get drunk at this hour and I am sure the owner of the car wouldn't like that-" You suddenly stopped with the realization

"Dazai please tell me you didn't steal Chuuya's car and wine.."

Dazai smiled innocently "If this is gonna make you feel better, then yeah I didn't steal Chuuya's car or debit card or wine..."

"I-I...HOW DID YOU EVEN TAKE HIS DEBIT CARD? AND FOR WHAT?... You know what, nevermind-"

"And we arrived... Park somewhere, we are going out"

You raised your brows with confusion. There was nothing around you, not even a single building or light source, everywhere was so dark that you couldn't even see a thing. You used your phone flashlight to get out of the car "Dazai, where are we? And what the hell are we going to do in this dark, I can't see anything at all"

Dazai chuckled lightly and pulled you from your waist. He locked his hands behind you loosely "Close your flashlight and look up"

When you did, your eyes widened with the view. Your usual sight of pitch black sky was covered with a blanket of stars that stretched to infinity. They seemed so far yet so close at the same time...

"Dazai... this is...ethereal..." you could only whisper then you turn your gaze to him. He was directly looking into your eyes

"I know..." he said. "...this view is worth it.."

You couldn't help but feel flustered. You were used to Dazai's not averting his eyes from you whenever he was with you, he was always looking at your eyes like he was studying what lays beneath them. But you have never felt this aware of them until now...

"..thank you" you murmured while wrapping your arms around his bandaged neck

He responded with a kiss which could mean a lot of things...

Edogawa Ranpo: being aware of his surroundings and acting thoughtful

"Y/N, I am getting tired~..." Ranpo whined again for the 4th time in the last 15 minutes. You sighed. Taking care of all minors of Ada at the same time would be easier than accompanying your man-child boyfriend to the crime scene, you were sure about that...

"Okay, honey... Let's take a break here" You stopped inside the park you were walking in and put your bag on the bank near you.

Your boyfriend cheered with excitement and lay on the bank as if he walked for miles. You looked around and saw a convenience store.

"I will go and grab some water for us. You can wait here.." Ranpo only raised his thumb, he didn't even get up from the bank he was laying

Not even after 5 minutes, you were coming back with water bottles in your hand. You almost dropped the bottles with what you just saw. Your boyfriend was hugging so cheerfully with a young woman. When Ranpo saw you, he waved his hand with excitement "Y/N look who I found! It has been so long that I haven't met with Hanako, my best friend!"

You frowned. You were sure that Ranpo didn't have any friends but Ada members and Poe... Before you say anything, Ranpo kept on rambling. And they started to tell you stories that you weren't involved at all... You couldn't help but feel bad when you got left-out by your own boyfriend...

After 10 minutes that passed like hell for you, Ranpo suddenly turned his head somewhere, only to remove his hand from Hanako's shoulders "I believe they left, you are safe now miss..." Before you could comprehend those words, the girl started to bow and thanking "I don't know how to thank you, you saved me from that creep-.." and she turned to you this time, only to bow again "I am so grateful for you too, thanks for your cover, I am saved..."

"It's okay... Here, this is our agency's number" Ranpo pulled out the agency's card from his pocket "If he or any other thing bothers you again, you can call us to get help..."

After she left, you looked at your boyfriend with your mouth agape. Ranpo looked at you and sighed "You really didn't notice the creep who was following that woman? He was probably gonna follow her to her house but he left after seeing she wasn't alone... Well, I guess being an amazing detective is not that easy-..." You shut him up by giving a peck to his lips "You are an amazing detective Ranpo.. and an amazing man..."

Nakajima Atsushi: putting his hand on your waist to guide

You looked at the little memo on your hand. You were near to the address Ranpo gave you, as the smooth detective he was, he had already solved the mystery behind the case and sent you there to find the evidence.

As you were getting nearer, you couldn't help but feel uneasy. You always knew Yokohama was not the safest city. Other than the port mafia, there were a lot of gangs, criminals, and sins between these slums...

You could feel the gazes on you while you kept walking. When you sensed some people started to follow you, you couldn't help but sigh. You definitely were strong enough to defend yourself from a bunch of bandits but you would wish to avoid as much as possible... All you want was quickly finish your job, return to the office, and write your report.

"Y/N!.." You turn your back only to meet with Atsushi and you smiled brightly. It felt nice to see a familiar face in that gloomy street, you waved your hand with excitement to greet him.

Atsushi waved you back and then looked around him shortly. A frown appeared between his eyebrows, he gave a cold stare to the suspicious types who have been following you. You couldn't help but to smile to yourself, seeing your cute coworker could make a face like that was something else...

Atsushi came close to you and asked for the address. After you showed him the memo, he smiled sweetly at you "You are very close to finding it! May I accompany you, then we can return to the office together?"

You couldn't say no, him accompanying you might have suspend the others... "Of course, let's go!" you said.

While you were walking he started to ask questions about the details, and you started to explain the case to him. While you doing that, you felt a light touch on your back first, then that light touch became a light hold around your waist. You slightly checked the fingers on your waist and looked at him. Atsushi was acting like he did nothing "..and then?" he asked while guiding you with his hand to take a turn...

You couldn't help but feel a little abashed yet you didn't say anything. You felt safe and protected and you appreciated him for that. Maybe he would do the same thing when you were going back? (but God forbid if Dazai saw you like that...)

[scribblesofagoonerr]

God loves a trier though, right? | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, G - God loves a trier though, right?

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Hi, sorry for the wait on this. This is a bit scrappy, not been proofread at all and I'm currently battling a headache while writing this so apologies if it doesn't make much sense, like at all!

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support on this. It's definitely become one of my favourite things to write!

As always, my asks are open for anyone to drop me any ideas’ on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)

Reader returns from the hospital, which leads to a heart-to-heart with some usual classic teenage sarcasm.

TW: heavy angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"Home sweet home" Leah pulls the car into the driveway and turns off the ignition, turning to look at you.

You fake a smile in the blonde's direction as you tug at the sleeves of your hoodie to fight the urge. "Glad to be home" You speak quietly.

You knew going home wasn't going to be as easy as you thought it would be, the reminder was right there in front of you.

A reminder of what you did, what could have been your end.

Until Leah had walked in and saved you.

You didn't really want to die, the voices on the internet were just too much to deal with.

The hate from the fans. The pressure from the media.

At times, everything can be overwhelming. But, being home makes it easier to regain control of being able to hurt yourself.

If you're being honest, that really does scare you.

The vague memory from that night still haunts you as you walk through the flat, sending a chill up your spine.

"Bubs?" Leah calls out to you, as she watches you freeze as you pass the bathroom.

"Uh, I'm... I'm a bit tired. Think I'm gonna have a nap" You tell her, slowly moving in the direction of your bedroom.

"Alright, I'll go and cook us some dinner. I doubt you've eaten much in the last few days if hospital food is anything to go by huh?" Leah jokes as she presses a light kiss to the top of your head. "Have a good nap, I'll wake you up when it's ready, yeah?" She adds.

Slumping into your own space, you glance around your bedrom and you're glad to see it's exactly how you left it.

You had missed your private space when you was in the hospital and you're just glad enough that the blonde hadn't gone to the extreme measures of removing your bedroom door at least.

"So the girls wanted to come around tonight but I thought it was best to hold off for now" Leah slides the dinner plate in front of you, you can't help but smile when you see it's smiley faces and nuggets.

One of the only things that Leah can actually cook.

You actually missed the small things like that while you were on an extended stay in the hospital.

"Sure" You agree as you reach for the ketchup bottle and squeeze a decent amount on your plate. "I'll be able to see them tomorrow at training, won't I?" You ask.

"Bubs" You can tell Leah is cautious to speak.

"I can train, can't I?" You look directly at the blonde as you await her answer.

Although you have a feeling that you're going to be sitting on the sidelines for a while.

"I have to train, Le! I can't put it off. I've gotta be ready to be selected for the matchday squad!" You insist as you stab your fork into a chicken nugget.

You watch as Leah frowns and hesitates to speak and that confirms your thoughts about it.

"We have a meeting tomorrow with Jonas, Kim, and some of the other staff at the club to discuss things--" Leah begins to explain, starting to eat her own dinner.

"I'm being sidelined?!" You interject in disbelief.

Leah shakes her head as she swallows her food before she speaks. "I didn't say that, Y/N" She states.

You can't help but scoff. "But you sort of did. I can't be sat on the bench-- I can't do it!" You try to insist. "I... I need some kind of purpose. I need a reason to get up in the morning!" You fight back the tears that threaten to spill.

You have to play. You have to be able to do that. You can't have that taken away from you.

"Bubs, let's just see what is said tomorrow. Okay?" Leah frowns and tries to take hold of your hand as you snatch it back.

"I have to be on the pitch, Leah. I can't be sidelined. I... I just can't do it" You state as you push your chair back and bolt up from the table.

"Where are you going?" Leah asks, confused.

"I need to get out. I'm going for a walk, or is that not allowed now?" You sneer as you move to walk over to the coat rack and grab one of your jackets.

"I'll come with you" Leah stands up from the table.

You huff and roll your eyes. "I don't need to be monitored. I want to be alone" You all but plead with her.

"I... I can't let you do that. You know I can't" Leah shakes her head in disagreement. "So we either go for a walk together, or we don't go at all" She states sternly.

"Guess we're both going then, wonderful" You mumble sarcastically and shove a pair of trainers on.

"It's cold out here this evening" Leah mumbles as she tries to pull her jacket more around to try and get warm, you decide to take a walk alongside the canal not too far away from the flat as you always thought clearer when you were near water.

"You didn't have to come with me" You mutter as you keep your hands shoved in your pockets.

You'd never been too much of a fan of the cold, but you just needed an escape as you felt like the walls were caving in around you being inside the flat.

"You know that I did" Leah replies quietly, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh yeah, of course, that's cos' I'm on suicide watch, right?" You can't help but joke with the blonde.

Leah tenses up at the mention of the subject that's joked about so casually as the two of you walk alongside the canal.

The blonde can't help but try and reach for your bicep to try and pull you away from being too near to the edge of the water.

"You can relax a bit Le, I'm not gonna try and off myself again" You continue to crack jokes about death like you're talking about the weather. "Although jumping into the water seems like a great idea" You add.

The blonde clicks her tongue. "I wish you wouldn't say things like that sometimes" She states in disagreement as she hesitantly looks at the water, trying to pull you back from the edge.

"It's the easier coping method" You quietly admit as you shrug your shoulders as you linger dangerously close to the edge of the water. "How deep do you think it is?" You ask, looking in the direction of the blonde.

"Come away from the water" Leah tries to pull you away from the edge again.

"Why? Afraid I'll actually jump in" You fire back as you can't help but laugh slightly. "You know I can swim, right?" You ask her.

"I know you can swim, but..." Leah looks nervous as she eyes your every move.

"But you think I'd rather try and purposely drown instead?" You wonder, already knowing her answer.

Leah shakes her head and exhales a sigh. "Y/N" She states in a knowing tone of voice that you knew all too well.

"The pressure is too much sometimes, the media... They can be ruthless" You admit quietly, looking back out to the water in front of you.

"I know" Leah replies just as quiet, waiting for you to speak again.

You tug at the sleeves of your hoodie and bite your bottom lip. "It's all too much sometimes. Sometimes I think the world is against me" You tell her, honestly.

"Bubs..." Leah starts to speak.

"Why were you and Katie fighting when I was in the hospital?" You change the subject, refusing to let your vulnerability show.

Leah exhales another sigh. "It's complicated" She says.

"Bullshit" You can't help but scoff and roll your eyes.

"Language" The blonde scolds.

"Well, why aren't you?" You repeat the question, wanting to know the answer.

"Well, adults have disagreements sometimes" Leah states, looking out to the water.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. "C'mon Le, I'm a not naive kid-- Why're you not getting along?" You feel like you're constantly repeating yourself right now.

Leah exhales a sigh and hesitates to speak. "She just thinks that my decision was wrong, to allow the doctors to detain you in the hospital" She explains.

"I know that. You guys were literally fighting about it right in front of me" You remind her with the usual teenage cocky attitude you have.

"She thinks you should've been at home instead, with all of us watching out for you" The blonde defender continues to explain. "But Y/N... I don't know how I can keep you safe when you're at home. You joke about death so casually, I'm so scared that I am going to have to leave you alone, that when I come home, I'll find you lying dead on the floor in a pool of your own blood. At... At least this way when you were in the hospital, I knew you were safe and you couldn't hurt yourself" She confesses the truth.

The truth that leaves an eerie silence.

"I knew you were safe and you couldn't hurt yourself" Her words were like a continuous loop in your head.

Her confession hits you suddenly, leaving you feeling numb.

[bettysupremacy]

I’m begging for anything with Steve and reader having a really early morning or late night swimming session in his pool. Just a cute couple taking advantage of Steve’s huge pool during hot summer. Just like lazy fluff pleaseee. Steve is so summer bf

Steve is my summer bf, and I firmly believe that! Thank you for your request!! ☆

Steve has beaten you in tag three times now. It’s admittedly not something he’s proud of, but it’s also not something he’s going to deny for a fourth round.

“Give me a chance!”

You crack up at the sounds of his boyish giggles getting louder as he advances. Just as breathless as you, he overcomes, prize set determinedly in mind. His hands on you.

His large wet hands grab you triumphantly as he advances, maneuvering you into his arms. “-And he destroys! Again! Is it his brains, his braun, or his beauty?”

He dunks you in the cold water, wiping your wet face sympathetically when he pulls you up.

“This is totally rigged!” He swirls you in his arms. Like a trophy. “How am I supposed to win tag against the captain of the swim team?”

He huffs a laugh, warm air smoothing over your cold face.

“You’re supposed to want me to catch you.” He grins, dropping you like he’ll let you dunk again. You shriek, grabbing his arms.

“Do you know how tag works?”

He laughs, shining brightly at you to make up for the lack of light. “You let me win so I can hold you, baby.”

“That’s not tag.”

His smile doesn’t falter. He nods to the deep end, letting your legs drop back to the rough pool floor. “Let’s go again.”

“I’m tired.” Your wet fingers tangle in his equally as wet hair. He leans into the touch. “Let’s go in.”

Those three words are a blow to Steve’s chest. He never gets you out here alone. It’s always stuffed with whiny teens. He doesn’t mind it, usually, but he’d like moment with his girlfriend where Marco Polo isn’t involved.

“Can’t we stay out longer?” He pouts, “we always have to share the pool.”

“It’s midnight.” You drop your hands into the water, bringing them back up to his neck and smiling as he shivers. “And we’re cold.”

He drops his head into your shoulder.

It’d taken no convincing to get you to come out here when you’d seen his red pool shorts, but keeping you in was another issue. The waters were frigid, and he’d had to push you to get in. Another thing he’s, admittedly, not proud of.

“We can get in tomorrow morning,” Your reasoning whispers in his ear. “We can wake up early.”

“You are not waking up early.” He murmurs in your neck.

You smile. “Probably not.”

He groans, and then it’s quiet. You can hear the cicadas in the woods surrounding his home. It’s a cacophony of insects. The water ripples around you, reflecting the moon.

Slowly, more slowly than you’d like, his lips find home planted on the juncture of your neck, twitching into a smile as you breathe through your nose.

The water sloshes as his hands push you into the pool wall. It’s cold on your skin, tickling your chilly arms.

“Y’so pretty.” He mouths greedily under your jaw.

It’s wet, your hair sticks to the back of your neck, but his hands roam lower and lower, pressing and grabbing needily. You can’t bring yourself to care.

He comes up for air. “Let’s go in.”

“I kinda like it here.” You look down at him.

His swollen lips tease you. Pretty and pink, you want them back on your neck. He knows this, smiling to taunt.

“I like it when I can see you.” His hand slides over your slick belly. You wrap your legs around him.

“You said I was pretty.”

He huffs a laugh. “I don’t need to see you to know that.” His finger pinches the fat of your thigh. “Prettiest girl in the whole world.”

Your stomach flips, a funny smile coming to your warm face. “Carry me.”

His lips are soft as they work their way back to your neck. They leave a trail of spit over your wet skin, you sigh as a breeze flutters past you. Languid with his kisses, he moves back up to your mouth, hovering, hot air warming your kiss bitten lips.

“Gonna need you to wrap your arms around me, honey.”

His hands squeeze your thighs.

[to-thelakes]

breakfast dates

pairing; frank castle x fem!reader

summary; frank had been out of town for the past week and your insomnia had made a grand return but you weren't gonna let sleepiness stop you from having a much needed breakfast date

warnings; fluff, reader has insomnia

notes; another day, another fluffy one-shot! i'm honestly semi-surprised i managed to do this because much like the reader in this, i am very sleep deprived today (due to trying to fix my sleep schedule)! but here is day two of fluffbruary! the prompts i used today were 'scent' and 'jam'. once again, this has been proof-read but my aforementioned sleepy state might have meant that i missed any grammatical errors so apologies in advance! otherwise, enjoy some fluffy frank <3

ao3

To say you didn’t want to get out of bed was truly an understatement. You were exhausted and your insomnia had been flaring up for the past few nights. It was frustrating but you needed to get up. You were starting work at midday and you were supposed to meet Frank for breakfast. He had been out of town for the past week and to make up for missing your birthday, he was taking you out for a birthday breakfast.

Logically, you knew that if you just texted Frank and told him that you were tired that he’d be happy to come over instead. But he had made the effort after he definitely had a long night of driving just to be back in New York for you on the one morning you had free this week. Plus, the diner he was taking you to had been where you’d gone on your first (not really) date so you wanted to go.

It took 10 minutes of inwardly fighting with yourself before you kicked the covers back and got up. You rubbed your eyes, picking up an outfit that would be suitable for work and your impromptu date. You brushed your teeth, downed a glass of water and sprayed the new perfume your mom had gotten you for your birthday before leaving the house.

It was only a 5 minute walk to the diner and when you stepped inside, Frank was sitting at your usual booth waiting for you. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and a grin spread across his face when he spotted you. You couldn’t help but smile back even if you were still a little sleepy from your early start.

He greeted you halfway, wrapping you up in a hug and pressing a kiss to your lips. He muttered a soft hello and his gruff voice made you want to melt right into him. It had been too long without him and there was something soothing about the return to his presence. You held onto him for probably a little longer than necessary before you broke apart and sat on opposite sides of the booth. 

Frank took another sip of his coffee while you settled in your seat, discarding your coat to one side and adjusting your dress shirt.

“That a new perfume?” He asked as you pushed your hair behind your ear. You nodded.

“Yeah, my mom got it for me,” You explained. He smirked, leaning back in the booth. You narrowed your eyes, “Hang on.” You paused and watched as Frank’s lips grew from a smile to a grin; teeth and all, “You told my mom to get it didn’t you!” You suddenly exclaimed, unable to help the smile that spread across your face at your sudden realisation. He lifted his coffee up to his lips, taking a sip to hide how his smile had somehow grown even more.

“You kept talkin’ about it.” His words were punctuated with a small shrug and you scoffed. But before you could make any response, the waitress came over to take your order. Frank ordered pancakes, maple syrup and bacon and you ordered sunny-side up eggs, bacon, waffles and a side of toast. The toast always came with the most delicious jam. You had begged the waitress more than once for the brand but she always refused - it was a company secret, you had been told.

Once the waitress had taken your order and brought you over a glass of water and a cup of tea, she disappeared to the back. This left you alone with Frank again.

“You look tired, sweetheart.” Frank’s voice had softened as he reached his hand out across the table. You leant forward so that you could lift his hand to be resting against your cheek. His hands were so warm and even if they were callused from the years of intense work and suffering he had to endure, they were perfect for him.

“I wasn’t the one driving all night,” You muttered, letting your eyes fall closed as you settled into the warm feeling of his hand. Frank chuckled and you opened your eyes to admire him. The past week had been rough without him but seeing him again made it all so much better. Your intertwined hands dropped down to the table and he gently pulled his away so he could pat the seat next to him.

He knew that you needed the closeness of him just as much as he needed to be close to you. Frank was hopelessly attached to you and it terrified him most of the time but in moments like this, he longed to protect you and hold you. 

Without even a second thought, you obliged him and switched to sit beside him in the booth. Then, you snuggled up to his side, wrapping your arm around his waist. He buried his face into your hair, inhaling the scent of the new perfume that was clinging to every part of you. He had suspected that it’d smell perfect on you and he was right, it did.

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight,” You declared. You felt the rumble of his chuckle in his chest and that sound was the most soothing thing in the world to your deprived ears. If you didn’t have any responsibilities for the rest of the day, you would have let yourself fall asleep pressed against him. But you still needed to go to work later.

“I ain’t gonna argue with that,” He said, pressing a kiss to your hair. You turned your head up to look at him, your back aching from the slightly awkward position that you had got yourself into.

“You better not.” You were grinning now and he cupped your cheek, pulling you up to connect your lips. It was a soft kiss - like all of them had been recently - but it was just what you needed. After a moment longer of enjoying his embrace, you pulled away and returned to your side of the table. You talked a little bit about how the job had been before the waitress came back over with your orders. She placed them down and you wasted no time digging into the pot of jam and spreading a thick layer across the buttered toast.

Frank watched in amusement as you wolfed down the slices of bread. But once you had sufficiently enjoyed the toast, you returned back to civility and the two of you went back and forth about your plans for the day. Frank said that while you were at work, he’d go home and take a nap. Then he’d come over to your place later.

He offered to make you dinner but you insisted that it was okay. You kept reminding him that he had been driving most of the night and he needed to relax. But Frank was ever the gentleman and he wanted you to be pampered. 

Even if neither of you said it, he could tell that you were tired and that the insomnia had reared its ugly head again in a way that wasn’t so easily solved. It had already been bad before he left for the job last week and you had both come to the conclusion that his presence had been the best cure. So, he could only guess how much worse it had become while he was gone.

But you were stubborn and weren’t going to give up easily so he simply decided that he wasn’t going to give you a choice in having a pampered evening. You deserved to be loved and you deserved to be able to relax and he would be damned if he didn’t help you feel that way.

<3

[ranhaitanisgf]

AAA CONGRATS ON GETTING 2K FOLLOWERS!! 😭🥰 and thank you for the event! it looks fun :0 can i request rindou haitani + enemies/rivals to lovers + stuck together or 7 mins in heaven please? i cant choose between the moments so i’ll leave that one up to you if that’s okay :0 headcanons please! i don’t have anything specific that i wanna add for this request, so i hope this gives you more wiggle room to write how you want it to go ☺️ thank you and congrats again!! ❤️

—rindou haitani // enemies to lovers // stuck together

☆ ˎˊ˗ little rindou moment . i do not have much to add on to this, so enjoy !! xoxo

☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.0k+

☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader

masterlist || 2k masterlist

“just so you know, this is entirely your fault.”

“my fault?! how the hell is an elevator shutting down, my fault?! do you think i spoke to god for a second and said, ‘hey, can you make this elevator stop working right now?’” you argued, sarcasm thick in your voice as you spoke. rindou shrugged nonchalantly, a look of boredom in his eyes. 

“who knows? maybe you’re one of those kinds of people.” 

“i am not, for your information! if anything, this is your fault! if you can recall with your idiotically small brain, you’ll remember that you’re the one who asked for a favor! from me! on a weekend! i should be financially compensated for this!” you exclaimed, pointing a finger in accusation at the boy sitting next to you. “i should still be sleeping right now!! it’s 5 in the damn morning! what was this favor you needed, anyways?!” 

“jeez, you’re so loud.” was all rindou responded with, making you even more frustrated with him. you decided not to respond though, just letting out an angry sigh as the two of you waited for the maintenance people to get you out of the elevator. 

the silence hanging over the two of you in the elevator wasn’t tense, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. honestly though, you didn’t really care about whatever rindou wanted, you were just pissed that he was somehow trying to pin this situation on you. 

what have you ever done to him?! literally nothing. you even had the decency to come all the way over to roppongi at 5am to see what he needed help with, even though he always acts like you’re just an annoying thorn in his side. you get that he’s emotionally stunted, but seriously, what was up with him?

a knock from outside the elevator door brought you out of your thoughts, instead bringing hope that you would finally be out of this elevator soon. 

“hello! we are the maintenance crew for this building, and we will get you out shortly! sorry for the inconvenience!” 

“don’t worry about it; thank you!” you called back, relieved. you stood up from your spot on the floor, stretching a bit since you had been sitting for a while. “ugh, thank god! i’m so hungry, i could eat a three-course meal right or somethin’...” rindou continued sitting on the floor, the same stoic expression on his face as the two of you waited for the elevator to open up. he was a bit more quiet than usual, but you wrote it off as him also being tired, (who wouldn’t be tired at this early time?). 

“oh yeah, but seriously, what’s the favor you need? if it’s gonna take long, i wanna get breakfast first.” you asked, a bit more curious as to what favor he was going to be asking of you. 

“you’ll see when we get there.” 

“man, stingy…you can’t even tell me how long it’s gonna take?” 

“no.” you frowned at his answer but decided to let it go for now. 

after a few minutes, you sat back down, wondering how long it was going to take to open the elevator. you wanted to ask the people outside, but you didn’t want them to feel like you were rushing them, so you just sat and waited, feeling a bit awkward with rindou. 

looking at him from the side, you couldn’t deny that he was beautiful. he would probably kill you if he ever heard you say that about him, but in your mind, it was true. it was the first word that came to mind whenever you saw him, no matter how much of an ass he was being in the moment. his tanned skin suited him well, providing a contrast from his blonde and baby blue hair, which always seemed to frame his face damn near perfectly. how was that even possible? there hadn’t ever been a time when you’d seen him look bad, which sometimes made you wonder if he was from another world. 

“you done?” rindou asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“hm? what?” 

“you’re staring at me; it’s creepy.” you scoffed at his words, immediately remembering his personality. 

“yeah, my mistake. you would be prettier if you weren’t such an ass, y’know.” you cringed a moment after you spoke, realizing that your words probably just gave him a major ego boost. 

however, when your gaze cautiously found him again, all you could see was his flushed cheeks and that he was looking away. 

huh? no way…

you reached your hand out, poking his cheek. 

“hey, what’s wrong? look over here.” he continued ignoring you, which made you just want to mess with him even more. “hey. hey. yoohoo.” with each word, you poked his cheek, finding amusement in the growing annoyance in rindou’s face. 

when you went to poke him again, his arm suddenly shot up, hand grabbing your wrist right before your finger was going to poke his cheek. 

“stop.” 

“hmm…?” you could hear the threatening tone of his voice, but all you could see were his red ears. “if i didn’t know any better, i would almost say that you’re maybe…oh, i don’t know, embarrassed? flustered?” at your words, he let go of your wrist instantly.

“whatever…” rindou muttered, turning his head even farther away from you. 

you paused for a moment, wondering if you’d gone too far with the teasing. there was no way, right? ran definitely poked and prodded at his younger brother more than you did, so why was he acting like this? 

well, you suppose that you can make it your problem. 

you leaned your head to the side, resting it on his shoulder as you let out a sigh. you held back a smile as you felt rindou suddenly tense up, his head finally turning back towards your direction, (you found it impressive that he had managed to sulk for as long as he did). 

“you’re so emotionally stunted.” 

“shut the hell up.” 

(the ‘favor’ was having breakfast on the rooftop, but you didn’t end up getting out of the elevator until noon).