#gonna put this in a couple of tags so people who have had similar experiences/might have advice might see it

[flutterbyfairy]

i have a neurologist appointment in about a month that i'm quite nervous about due to previously being dismissed/not having my concerns listened to, so gonna post this to ask for some advice on getting Taken Seriously or if anyone knows things about the type of condition i might have about what i should be asking them to do/test.

might be quite long so putting it under a read more, and tw for medical stuff and doctors being dismissive. also i am So So Tired and therefore not able to think very clearly so apologies if i've messed up any of the medical info about conditions i mention and apologise just generally for the rambliness of my writing.

summary of why i'm going:

bunch of disabling symptoms that have continually progressed over the past 5+ years, including: muscle weakness, fatigue, muscle twitches/small spasms, nerve pain, blurry vision, lack of coordination (have this from autism, however has gotten significantly worse recently so might also be related to neuro stuff). first symptoms were difficulty having my arms over my head (like having to take multiple breaks while putting my hair into a ponytail because i couldn't hold my arms over my head for the like.. three minutes to do a ponytail) and blurry vision (that optometrist has said seems like might be due to a systemic disease because of how variable it is) since i was 13, which was seven years ago. i started getting more impairing symptoms when i was 15, and began needing a wheelchair for anything that required standing or walking for more than 10 - 15 minutes. i'm currently 20 and need my wheelchair whenever i leave the house, i can't leave the house or do things around the house often, i can stand for a max of like four minutes and can't hold my hands above my head for more than like 30 seconds to one minute. pretty much all my symptoms get a lot worse with any exertion.

GP thinks i have myasthenia gravis, but the test for acetylcholine receptor antibodies was negative and he doesn't have the ability to do other tests.

the neurologist has already said he thinks i have functional neurological disorder and that i should do CBT and pysio to improve my functioning (i already know CBT is horrible for me, i'm in other therapy which is good, i've done some psyio before but she just taught me some stretches and that was it, more psyio could be good but it'd have to be with someone who isn't trying to do a graded exercise therapy type thing since i get PEM). he has mentioned doing a spine MRI but this hasn't been done yet. he said he doesn't want to do further testing for myasthenia gravis but i will probably try to get him to agree to doing a repetitive nerve stimulation EMG or something.

i also have scapular winging on the side of my body with worse muscular symptoms which has also caused a lot of nerve pain, and i might also have some sort of spine issues (straightening of cervical lordosis was seen on a CT scan, they said it was probably due to muscle spasms, and i get a lot of neck pain which might be due to that? as well as a ton of back pain along my spine. might have CCI but haven't been tested yet). since it seems like i'm getting some structural changes in areas where i also get a lot of the pain and weakness and spasms i'm hoping if i bring that up the neurologist might maybe look more at organic causes + the state of those structural changes but i dunno.

he did a basic neurological exam in my initial appointment with him and said that i have give way weakness/waxing and waning weakness because when he got me to do the pushing my limbs against resistance i could do okay for a couple seconds but couldn't maintain it. he also said in the letter that i had positive hoovers sign however i am.. very confused by this because from my understanding hoovers sign is mainly looked at when someone has one limb that's at least somewhat "normal" and one that either can't be moved or is very weak, and then the person can't move the weak leg but when asked to push the stronger leg against resistance they push the weak leg down. both my legs are strong enough that i can stand and whilst one leg is a bit weaker they're relatively similar. i lifted and pushed against resistance with both legs so.... i am not sure how hoovers is applicable here? does anyone know why it was applied and if that was correct or if i should be challenging that? he's saying that the give way weakness and positive hoovers are indicators that the problem is "non-organic" and therefore should be treated with CBT and pysio.

i'm not sure what i think is actually going on. i think myasthenia gravis might make sense, but also so could other neuromuscular diseases like a mitochondrial disease or something. also very possible it's myalgic encephalomyelitis (aka chronic fatigue syndrome) but obviously that one is a diagnosis of exclusion so i want to rule other things out if possible. i want to know what's going on so i can have the best chance of being as well as is possible for me. i know CBT is not right for me and whilst some type of pysio could help a bit/prevent some decline (based on past experience i know it won't Cure Me but obviously it can help a bit to build some muscle or maintain range of motion and things like that which are important) if there's other things i can do on top of that i want to.

i've tried to do research to work out the best tests to ask for and i think EMG might be good but also know a normal EMG doesn't typically pick up myasthenia gravis so it needs to also have repetitive nerve stimulation i think?

i can't see a different neurologist at least not anytime soon, so i need to get this neurologist to do as much to help as possible. a social worker from where i get therapy is coming to the appointment to help me so that should be good but i need to work out what the best way to advocate for myself is and what tests are going to be the most useful to ask for.

if anyone has any advice for getting doctors to take you seriously or for any tests i should be advocating for or conditions i should be looking into or anything i would really appreciate it <3 (emoticon description: heart)

[m34gs]

Continuing on our Twisted Wonderland Saw AU ask, what sort of trap do you think the vice housewardens would create if they were working together with their house wardens? 👀

Thank you for the ask, friend! (If anyone is wanting context, please see this post here!) I am thrilled to answer this.

As usual, there's a general warning for Saw-typical levels of violence, gore, and death ahead; please see the tags for specific warnings. I will put the answer under the cut!

*For the purpose of this ask, Ruggie and Ortho are considered Vice Housewardens even though they do not officially hold the title.

Trey - The only way Trey will design a trap is if it's prior to the growth of character he had after Riddle's overblot. Trey is an enabler. Riddle tells him he's doing a trap, and he might protest, but ultimately he will cave.

He's another one who would go for a simple trap; something like "in order to free yourself from your chains, you must reach into this pot of boiling water and pull out both keys and undo the locks with them". If the person cannot, they will remain there to die.

He cannot stomach cutting the jigsaw piece, so he gets Ace or Deuce to do it.

Ruggie - Ruggie would take it personal. He would definitely target people who do things like shut down food banks or make it harder for impoverished people to get food. He's got no qualms teaching these people a lesson.

His trap is set up like so: the person has been kidnapped and kept unconscious for hours, starving them. They wake in a room with only a massive heap of rotting/spoiled food next to them (which he definitely scavenged from dumpsters behind grocery stores). They have already been poisoned. The tape recorder tells them they must consume the antidote, which is in one of the pieces of rotting food. There's a couple ways this could go: 1. they pick up on the hint in the recording (it will indicate which food will be the thing they must eat) and successfully consume the antidote, 2. they frantically eat as much of the food as possible which leaves their shot at getting the antidote up to chance, 3. they cannot bring themselves to eat the rotting food and so they die, 4. similar to 2 in that they eat as much food as possible, but they force themselves way past their limit and rupture their bowels, go septic and die. However it ends, it will not be an easy experience. It's not meant to be.

Ruggie cuts the puzzle piece himself.

Jade - Jade doesn't have to be asked twice to design a trap. He's been working on an idea for a while. Jade likes seeing how things play out, how people will act or react to different situations, and he especially likes watching others go through the uncomfortable emotions.

His trap would be a pair of victims, connected to each other through the trap. Probably chained to the same saw, or something, and the more one pulls away, the closer the other is dragged to the saw. In order to get out, they need to give a certain amount of blood. The added stress? It's a pair of people who care about each other. They may be shitty people, but they're shitty people who love each other deeply. He wants to know; is the love deep enough that one would sacrifice themselves for the other? Will their selfish desire to live outweigh their love and drive them to kill the other? Or will they figure out that they can both survive, that he only told them a certain amount of blood needed to be collected, not that it needed to all be from one person? (very Saw V-esque, I know, lol).

He isn't rooting one way or another, he just wants to see what will happen. He is totally indifferent to if he gets to let them go or if he has to cut out a puzzle piece. Azul and Floyd are both pretty on-board with the trap, and willing to set up if he needs assistance.

Jamil - If anyone is gonna build an inescapable trap, it's Jamil. He's got enough arrogance that he thinks he is worthy of being judge and executioner, rather than just setting up a test. He tells Kalim, these people don't deserve a second chance or a shot at rebirth; they have a perfectly good life and they are throwing it away. They don't need saving, they need punishment.

His contraption is probably something like a person needing to cut into their own flesh to remove a key that they can use to disconnect themselves from a system of pulleys during a countdown. If they fail, the pulleys, connected at all four limbs, will dismember them. The problem is, they were always going to fail because the way they are positioned and strapped into the system they would never be able to reach their lower legs to unlock them on their own.

Kalim will never help Jamil with these traps. He cannot bring himself to hate Jamil, but he does not agree with this method of trap. Jamil cuts the puzzle piece, but it's just going through the motions to him. It means nothing.

Rook - Honestly, Rook's came to me first. It's gonna be a bit out there, but nothing that can't be done in the Saw universe. After all, if he's working as a Jigsaw apprentice, he's got all the access to John's engineering notes and work. Vil doesn't want Rook to do it, but I think is one of the few times they disagree with each other. Rook insists; there is beauty in the dark and violence, he says. There is something about suffering that is enticing. And how can he properly appreciate what Vil goes through if he does not take the chance to design his own trap?

The trap itself: a person wakes in a room with only their naked body and a knife, and, of course, a tape recorder. The tape recorder instructs them that there are dozens of small light sensors in the room, easily visible to the naked eye, implanted in the walls. The person can, indeed, see indicators where the sensors are. The sensors must all be covered within a limited time-frame in order for the door to unlock and open. What they don't know is the light sensors are placed so that when each one is covered it makes a mural; a mural of why they are in the trap in the first place. The victim has nothing but themselves and the knife, and it becomes clear they must paint the mural in their own blood, using their hands.

Rook would take each part seriously, and so he would easily cut the puzzle piece out should the victim fail...but he is hoping for their success, as he considers it a chance to witness the beauty of rebirth.

Ortho - I think Ortho tries to see it in the frame of 'it's like a video game'. He'd basically be doing this because Idia is, and he admires his brother too much. He's a bit blinded by his adoration for Idia. That all said, I think he would go hard on the design of the trap, in an attempt to impress Idia and earn praise. He wants it to be entertaining for his brother.

I could imagine him doing something a bit complex, but different than the bloodbaths a lot of the others are. A small sealed room with one way out, but the door is locked and needs a combination. The person can pull some round, cylinder sections out of the walls, which will have a number on them. They are not large enough for a person to crawl out of, but large enough to leave a significant hole. The cylinders, once pulled out, break just enough that they cannot be reinserted but the numbers are still readable (not sure how, maybe they score the cylinder ahead of time, or maybe the end just disintegrates and the number was under the top, but they were designed to break). Water starts pouring in through the holes. Every number is needed for the code. The cylinders are at varying heights, and one even requires the water level to be high enough to carry a person to it. Once the person has all the numbers, they must also figure out the order (though this should be easier because that will be hinted in the tape recording, based on why they are there in the room). If they do not succeed, they will drown.

Ortho does not cut the puzzle piece. He asks Idia to do it, because if Ortho has to confront the concrete proof someone is dead from his trap it might actually break him.

Lilia - We all know Lilia is an agent of chaos, but also very wise at times. I don't think he would have a problem creating a trap, but he's not buying into the ideology of Jigsaw the way Malleus is. He's in it to see what happens.

Like Idia, I think Lilia wants to have a bunch of moving parts. He would be another one to do a maze trap with minitraps spread throughout. I do think it would be set up less like "how will the group dynamics work" (Saw V) and more like "a series of trials for one person" (Saw III, VI, and VII). He wants to push the individual to see what they are capable of. It almost runs like a training simulation in his mind.

He has no problem cutting the puzzle piece at the end if he must, though he is disappointed the person didn't amount to what he thought they could do.

Those are my answers! Hope you enjoyed them, and hope you're not too freaked out by my crazy hahahaha. Let me know what you think :)

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[rosemarydisaster]

So, about Bi Caleb

Warning: very long post, discussing bi representation and biphobia.

*Sorry for spelling errors, English ain’t my firts language.

I can’t believe I have to tell you guys, but anyways: Caleb is bi whether he ends with a male character, a female character on a non binary character. That’s what bi people do, you know? they experience atraction for all genders. Saying that a bi character that ends with someone of the opposite gender is straight and queerbaiting is incredibly biphobic.

Yes, Vax was bisexual. Yes, he ended up with Kiki. Get fucking over it.

Now, I can understand why LGBT+ fans may feel disappointed when they tease a “gay couple” but the “straigth” couple ends up being endgame. Notice the quotation marks because there’s not such thing as a straight or gay couple for a bi person. They are bisexual in both situations, but I can see where the problem comes from. I’ve been queerbaited to hell and back by a lot of shows and it really hurts. It feels like they are laughting at you for caring. But I want those fans (whose feelings are totally valid, don’t get me wrong) to consider a few things when it comes to Critical Role, the first one being: it’s a D&D game.

Let me explain, because I know a lot of CR fans haven’t experienced what D&D is like in real life (and that’s absolutely valid, you don’t need to play D&D to enjoy CR). This is an improvisation game, not an scripted TV show. In a Tv show you can plan ahead of time what ship is going to be endgame, what themes are gonna come up for each character and it’s easier to deeply explore sexuality and gender as different planned arcs. In D&D you character’s sexuality may or may not come up depending on how you play it. Take for instance how other CR character’s have stated their sexuality:

Beau: overtly. Very *In your face* kind of lesbian. Marisha said “fuck it, I really just want to romance girls and be bad ass”

Yasha: openly, but not as in your face. Ashley Jhonson wanted to drink from that WLW cup while also being a shy disaster. Seafood market is her favored terrain.

Caduceus: Our Ace king has never hidden his sexuality, and yet he didn’t mention anything about it until chapter 114. He didn’t had the need to either hide it or state it. He was simply vibing.

I think Liam is going that route with Caleb. He’s flustered by Essek and Edwulf (Come on you guys, he always asks Matthew if he’s still hot). He also had/has a thing for Astrid and a think he might have feels for our favorite Tiefling gal. I know we are all too used to characters being teased as gay/bi only to have execs pull a “haha jk they be straight”. But this is not Sherlock or Supernatural. This is a show that not only has queer rep, but also supports queer organizations and creators. Hell, I’m sure some of the cast members are LGBT (but I’m not here to speculate on real people’s sexuality). If Caleb shows attraction to men he is not just queerbaiting, doing it for fanservicing or tricking the fans in any way shape or form: he’s just portraying a bi character. The thing is, since this is not a TV show, he is not doing it por woke points or to send a message. He’s doing it because he wants to play a bi wizard with depression.

So maybe there will be a point in which he can explores his sexuality more deeply, but remember he is playing a game. And his character is one that has a lot of trouble opening up to his feelings. Caleb is not someone that makes sexual jokes or flirty remarks. He is shy, awkward and has developed a really fucked up sense of love that he is now slowly fixing. Hell, in the same Talks episode Liam explained that Caleb was trained on Honey-pot tactics. Which, for those of you who can’t stand Bond films, means seducing your enemy/target to get information, manipulate them or assassinate them. WHICH IS A REALLY FUCKED UP THING! Let’s remember how he was the one to push Fjord to sleep with Advantica so they could spy on her. That boy has Issues when it comes to relationships. So if we don’t see him being as overtly gay as Beau, Molly or Yasha, well maybe it’s because that’s the way Caleb is. Bi people don’t owe you flamboyance, or dating both guys and gals for your approval. I wouldn’t make a post if it was only that, because I do feel the people who are aching for good bi rep and would love some more explicit confirmation. But Vax exists, so I know we can’t have good things down here.

VAX EXPLICITELY SHOWED ATTRACTION TO GILMORE. AS EXPLICIT AS IT GETS. HE FUCKING KISSED HIM. THEY WERE PRACTICALLY DATING. AND YET SOME OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM QUEERBAITING. AND I SAY: NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!

How come a character can have canonically kissed another character in a romantic/sensual context and still be called straight? I know fucking Sherlock traumaticed y’all into having trust issues but believe me when I tell you: I’ts not that deep. This is not a “Haha I love u but in a no homo way bro”. It’s a “full homo darling, but also we’re gonna break up because I like someone else”. This is the opposite of queerbaiting. Instead of keeping a charade he was honest with Gilmore because he valued his feelings and realized that he couldn’t reciprocate them at that moment. And if you try to tell me that Vaxleth was forced and didn’t have a reason to exist except queerbaiting, let me tell you: you are wrong.

Vax saw Gilmore once or twice monthly while he spent a heck ton of time with Kiki. Sure, they didn’t had the kind of camera chemistry Gilmore and Vax had because Keyleth is not charismatic. She’s really awkward, and her relationship with Vax was more on the adorable and dorky side of things. I bring this up because I’m predicting something similar may happen to Shadowgast.

Trust me, I ship the hot wizards as much as any other critter (even though I’m a multishipper). But they haven’t talked to Essek in centuries. I think it may have been almost a month in rol and quite a few outside. And you have to take into account out-rol time to because they are humans (except Tal) playing a game and they forget about stuff (except Marisha and Matt). So Shadowgast may not happen because sure, they had really good chemistry for a month a month ago. People have crushes that die down over time All The Time. So maybe don’t be so butthurt about your ship not being canon that you accuse an ally of homophobia. 

The cast of CR put forward such an amazing representation for the LGBT+ community and it really hurts me that you gets stuck on the one thing that isn’t canon. Matt has created a world in which coming out is not necessary because no one assumes your sexuality. A world in which people respect pronouns and orientations (except Tary’s father, who is a villain). A world in which Cad or Caleb don’t need to explicitly say “I’m ace/bi” unless it comes up in conversation. A world in which his friends can be whatever they want to be without pressure or reprecusions. A world in which they get to explore different gender identities and sexual orientations with full freedom. Let’s not interfere with that (unless there’s missrepresentation), and let them play their game. If you really need mlm or wlw canon couples or more outwardly LGBT+ people you have plenty examples among NPCs and other cast members (Allura and kima, Yasha, Beau, Dairon, Keg, Reani, Tary, Molly and Vax among others).

There’s way worst shows taking LGBT+ cred for barely doing nothing. Fucking Supernatural is the most recent example! Critical Role works towards showing an honest portrayal of LGBT+ folk and accepts valid criticism from their fans on the subject (when they changed J’Mon Sa Ord pronouns from it to they/them). They don’t owe you making your ship canon or portraying their characters the way you want them to (again, unless when it’s constructive criticism). Stop being so Fucking entitled and enjoy the show for what it is

,Respectfully~

*Edit: I´m tagging Caleb’s ships into the post because most hate comes from shipping wars. Most Shadowgast fans are respectful of the cast’s decisions, even if it disappoints them. But since I’ve already seen people accusing Liam of biphobia in that tag and since I’ve already seen this shit with Vaxmore I’m tagging the ship. If you want to read my long ass post do it, if not, ignore it. I’m not forcing you to read it. I’ve also tagged it with biphobia so people can avoid it if it’s triggering. I’m sorry if it makes you mad that your ship is not canon, but that’s not an excuse to be toxic to the cast. Those of you getting mad are the ones that need to read this the most. Like I’ve said in the post: you’re allowed to be disappointed, you are allowed to want more, but you can’t force the cast to give you exactly what you want. And most certainly, you can’t accuse them of  some very serious stuff like biphobia and queerbaiting when it’s not the case..  

[kinktae]

Hello. I used to be a follower of Daisy a long time ago. When the whole bullying situation happened I decided to unfollow her. I know that the events that happened transpired a long time ago and she already explained and apologized, but it didn't sit well with me. A couple of months ago I decided to follow her again because I believe in giving people second chances. Everything was fine until she said that she didn't care about anyone except herself and her friends. It seemed selfish to me 1/2

Anonymous said: And the way that she answered asks that disagreed with her seemed rude. This situation piled on with the one that happened beforehand gave me a bad feeling about her. I understand that you're friends with her and I won't tell you to stop talking to her (It's your life and I don't believe in dictating others decisions). It's just something that came back to me after the conversation you just posted. Just a thought I had.😐 2/2

I’m uhh not exactly sure what u want from me hmmm. I know u said ur not trying to tell me how to live my life but it certainly does come across that way.... Welp, I'm not getting back into that scandal bc I have stated multiple times that IT GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME I EXPRESSED HOW I FELT AND DAISY FULLY KNOWS HOW I FELT LMFAO. both parties involved settled it privately so I am not opening that worm can again. :D

Daisy isn’t in the fandom anymore, lovebug. If her presence bothers u on my blog u can blacklist our tag. But yeah... uh I guess in her defense, Daisy has always been rude back to rude anons. It’s not unprompted lol. If ur a dick to her she will be a dick back. She’s comfortable with speaking up (unlike my nervous self) and has always been pretty open about it on her blog. Like she’s not tryna present herself any other way. 

As for that u calling her selfish bc she says she only cares about herself and her friends, idk not everyone ?? feels empathy in the way that u do ??? i’m not gonna put daisy’s personal shit on blast but there’s always more to the story... trauma/childhood/personal experience can shape people. We shouldn’t shame people on how they do or don’t empathize lol. (Also, side note there are many people who are productive members of society with mental illnesses/disabilities that don’t allow them to connect to everyone emotionally.) 

Anyuwu, Daisy and I’s first and only phone call was the day the scandal went down and I had people come and berate me in my asks and SHE called ME because I was home alone and was having a panic attack, even though she was the one who had it way worst that day. She talked me through it. I have NEVER had a friend OR FAMILY MEMBER do that for me. I will never see her as this evil entity that a lot of anons like to try and harrass me into. I take her for who she is and she’s done the same for me. We’ve seen each other at our ugliest and have helped pull each other back up when we needed help. Which is all friendship is when u think about it. 

I’m not as placid as u might think, I actually do call out my friends when I’m not happy with them. If I’m not happy with how things play out or if they don’t take accountability, I will and have dropped them. I don’t need to be told how to manage my friends, I promise angel cake :D

I won’t be answering any asks similar to this from now on. Hope you’re well ❤️

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Just Swimmingly ch.2 (BAON)

Summary: Jeff has a lot to think about and what better place to do it than at the bar with his best buddy, Stretch?

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Established Relationships,  Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags To Come

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

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The night wasn’t as young as it used to be, but to be fair, neither was Jeff. After a few hours of sitting on a bar stool, his tailbone would be more than willing to testify on that.

He leaned back against the bar in an effort to take some of his weight off of it, grimacing as he watched the dance floor. Colored lights flashed to the thrumming bass beat over the gyrating dancers and out in the thrashing sea of sweaty human bodies there was a head that was above almost all of them. Stretch towered over most humans and never was it more obvious than right then. The lights reflected off his smooth skull, a living disco ball, and around him other humans were laughing and cheering as they danced.

Edge would be having a conniption right about now and Jeff was a little bemused to find his anxiety having an internal dance competition of its own. Currently it was at ‘chachacha’ levels, watching all those Humans grinding up on Stretch. He didn’t want to think anyone here would hurt Stretch, intentionally or otherwise, but the threat of low HP always loomed. His trust in humanity took a pretty big dip a few months ago outside a Chinese restaurant and he had the scars to prove it.

Jeff took another sip of his drink. His straw crackled against the bottom of the glass as he finished it off, leaving only lonely ice cubes behind and he set it back on the bar as he settled back in for a little spare contemplation.

If he were honest, wasn’t a huge fan of the club scene even before he started dating Antwan. Not that he didn’t like going out but his problems with it were twofold. One, bars sucked to go to alone and back then he didn’t have a lot of real estate in the friend territory and two, it cost money. His disposable cash in those days was a lot like a pink unicorn: nonexistent.

Being friends with Stretch took care of both of those problems but a third loomed up to take their place like an unwanted acquaintance. Put bluntly, Jeff could not dance and until Kevin Bacon showed up to give him a few lessons, he probably wasn’t gonna learn how.

Not that he really minded that much. Guarding their drinks and listening to the music wasn’t a bad way to spend the night.

Besides, Stretch didn’t seem to care if he wasn’t up to evacuating the dance floor. He mostly let Jeff sit at the bar where he tried to look like someone with deep and mysterious thoughts to process instead of the person he actually was, far more likely to accidently spill his drink into his lap than anything else. On either side of him were other people doing the same, a row of wallflowers watching the dance floor with wistful envy.

Mostly Stretch left him to it but sometimes he’d bounce his way back and haul Jeff out for a song, any song, fast, slow, techno-bop, dubstep, didn’t matter to Stretch, he was an equal opportunist when it came to friendly torment and if Jeff felt a lot like Frankenstein’s monster tromping around next to Stretch’s lithe booty shake, eh, that was okay. Sacrificing a little dignity for a friend’s fun times was part of the package.

As far as he knew, Stretch didn’t go out to the clubs often either, but if there was one thing Jeff had learned when it came to Stretch, it was there were no half-measures. If he was in, he was all in, and that included drinking, dancing, and on the weekends, the occasional explosion caused by a thermal reaction. Truly a wide variety of hobbies came into play when hanging out with Stretch and going out to the bars pretty much guaranteed something interesting would happen.

Like the time they met those guys who’d come into town for the last beat poetry night. One of them mentioned liking Stretch’s Intergalactic Beastie Boys t-shirt so Stretch convinced them all to swap shirts and then swapped them around again, until they were all three shirts removed from the one they’d arrived in. Pants were a harder sell and if Stretch were ever hard up for money, he might take up selling ice to penguins because in no time they were all out on the sidewalk, firmly dismissed from Grillby’s over their rampant laughter drowning out the poet’s rambling about the burden of solitude. The Waffle House they ended up at had a less stringent dress code and all of them crammed into a booth to eat greasy breakfast food at two am in their boxer shorts. At least those were all their own and his plain cotton boxer briefs were no match against Stretch’s ‘wanna tickle my pickle’ pair.

He was pretty sure all those guys still followed Stretch on twitter.

He wondered what Edge had thought of Stretch wandering home in an entirely new wardrobe, minus pants. There was no way he didn’t notice, Edge was very intent on fashion, even Stretch’s version of it. Knowing him, he probably made Stretch strip right in the living room and soaked both him and his clothes in Lysol before burning his boxer shorts. The old-new t-shirt Jeff ended up with was hanging in closet even though it was two sizes too big for him. Antwan stole it sometimes for lounging around the house purposes and seeing him in it was always a cheap thrill.

Huh, now that he was thinking about it, he’d gone to the bar more this past year than in his whole life before. Not just with Stretch either, Blue and Papyrus had brought him along for karaoke a few times and that was an experience right there. Their singing was like a vocal interpretation of his dancing and just as painful for witnesses.

He’d even had a drink a couple of times with Red. Well, he’d been a tag along with Antwan but still. Red was still vaguely terrifying, but Jeff had gotten the occasional glimpse under his onion layers. He knew a little of what Edge and Red went through before they came here. His knowledge pretty much barely skimmed the surface, they’d both been soldiers and they might’ve gotten out alive, but not entirely unscathed. Knowing Red’s HP was similar to Stretch’s and he’d still survived? Perspective was a hell of a thing and it paid to look at Red from a slant.

Speaking of perspective, he was definitely liking the music. They were a local band and this place was close to the college, a good spot to hopefully get noticed and work their way up. The bar itself had probably been here for fifty years, the bartop pitted with scratches and scars from college students of yore, the stools definitely up for reupholstering.

It was really no surprise to find out that Stretch knew the current owner. He knew loads of people, wriggled his way into their lives a lot like he’d wriggled into Jeff’s. Only difference was, he didn’t usually let the other person wriggle back and yeah, okay, that metaphor was going in weird places, but the meaning stood. Stretch was good with shortcuts and he knew a lot of people, but he wasn’t necessarily friends with a lot. Jeff was pretty happy to be on the short list.

Knowing people came in handy, too, and bringing Stretch along always came with added perks. Catty only asked him to listen to the bands on the list to get a feel for their sound, but he’d be able to bring her a better report than that since they were going to go meet the band after their set was done. It would give him a chance feel them out, see if they were even interested in participating in the Midnight Monster Jamboree, as Catty had slyly dubbed it. After everything went down in California, they needed some serious good will.

The Monster community had been found not at fault for what happened right away, but Antwan told him court cases would be dragging on for a while yet. When Humans died, other Humans wanted someone to pay, and Monsters were easy scapegoats for unreasonable anger. His team was working their butts off on it, Antwan coming home at night so very tired, mostly falling into Jeff’s arms to sleep and yet still so grimly determined. Jeff couldn’t do much about all that, but he could try his damnedest to get their big public relations event off the ground.

The idea was to have a huge event for Humans and Monsters together and for it to be held in New New Home. Asgore thought that some of the problems with Humans might be a result of them thinking Monsters had something to hide, so what better way to show them who Monsters really were than a chance to see into their supposedly secret lives.

Jeff was on the lowest rung for planning and even from his view, it looked like a nightmare. Security details made up of both Human and Monsters, background checks, food, entertainment. Access was going to be extremely limited and the guest list was daunting; there were going to be some big names in politics and entertainment. That circled back to his job, getting some local bands together for the opening shows. Partly good public relations, but also an earnest desire to help out a few struggling locals with the kind of exposure most groups could only dream about. That was so like Monsters, trying to help others in the midst of helping themselves, but it sure was a lot of damn pegs getting shoved into so many slots.

He didn’t even want to know what Edge’s current schedule looked like.

There was a soft thud behind him and Jeff turned to see the bartender was bringing him another drink. The guy was probably somewhere around his age, unless you were gauging it by his world-weary expression, which probably put him at about right around three hundred.

He must’ve known Stretch, too. When they saw each other, he youthened to a spry two hundred and seventy after a complicated series of fist bumps. As an added bonus, he’d been keeping their drinks topped up and as someone who usually couldn’t even get a bartender to see him much less pour him a drink, Jeff sure did appreciate the VIP service.

He started reaching for his drink, but a sudden tap on his shoulder startled him. He turned around. A guy he didn’t recognize was standing there, not too bad on the eyes and weirdly nervous, enough that Jeff thought he might actually be trying to pick him up before he noticed the guy was holding something out.

“Did you drop this?” the guy said, barely loud enough to be heard over the music. It was a wallet and Jeff automatically checked his back pocket even as his eyes told him it wasn’t his.

He shook his head and the guy nodded, but instead of asking anyone else or handing it to the bartender, he wandered off towards the entrance.

Okay, that was odd. Jeff shrugged mentally, lots of weird people at the bar, maybe he was going to give it to the guy at the door in case whoever lost it noticed when they left.

He forgot about it as Stretch came back from the dance floor, sweat gleaming on his skull and face. That always gave Jeff a little pause, what exact purpose did sweating serve for a skeleton? Maybe he’d ask sometime when he was less busy with work. If Stretch didn’t know the answer to something, the journey to find out tended to be entertaining, and possibly less explosive this time around, although he wouldn’t put the chances at zero.

Stretch grinned at him, still panting, and picked up his own drink, gulping down half of it in one swallow. Jeff couldn’t remember was it was. Stretch tended to order more for the name than the taste, so it was probably something like a slippery nipple or a total screaming orgasm. Whatever it was, a skewer of fruit was floating in it and Stretch fished it out, pulling the cherry off the end with his teeth.

“so what do you think of the band?” Stretch asked, perfectly audible even over the loud music. There was another point of interest; when your voice was produced by magic, it didn’t always obey the rules of sound. “gonna give catty the thumbs up?

“I like it,” Jeff shrugged. He could barely hear his own voice, trusting that magical hearing worked the same way as speaking, “but I’m not the greatest judge of music. That’s why I bring you along.”

Stretch chuckled and propped his elbows on the bar, slouching back. It put him almost at head level with Jeff and the shirt he’d almost certainly borrowed from Edge pulled tight across his ribcage. “think i’m a better simon cowell than you?”

“No, you’re more Paula Abdul, and anyway, two heads are better than one.” Jeff played with the straw in his own drink. “Jokes aside, this is important, I don’t want to mess it up.”

“you’re not gonna mess it up.” Stretch scoffed. He bit a chunk of pineapple in half before polishing off the rest of his drink. “how even? you’re doing double-duty as it is. henry said once they’re finished, we can meet them backstage. i’ll have a chat with them, we’ll see if they’re assholes, and good to go! besides, it’s not like security isn’t gonna give ‘em a good, hard rundown, anyway.”

It was the truth and he knew it, but there was always that niggling little doubt in the back of his mind, that somehow he’d find a way to mess it up, and that would be it. This was so important to the Monster community and his chance to finally payback some of what’d they’d given him. He could do this, Jeff told himself, and he’d do it right.

The band started a new set, something with a low, growling bassline and Jeff turned back to watch, only to freeze as Stretch suddenly spoke again, the single word clear as a bell in church.

“jeff.”

The name caught his attention as much as the tone, Stretch never called him Jeff, it was always Andy or kiddo or whatever nickname was currently floating his proverbial boat. The last time he’d called Jeff by his actual name, he’d been lying in a parking lot in a pool of his own blood. The taste of hot metal was strong on the back of his tongue as he turned back to Stretch, his heart pounding, and some cringing part of him expected to see that friendly face instead as the one that appeared sometimes in his worst dreams, a deathmask with one socket dark and blank, the other strobing orange with grim intensity.

But Stretch only looked like his normal self and when he spoke again, each word was calmly measured and deliberate. "i don't feel right. i think we should go."

Somehow, that was even more alarming, and his worry quickly overshadowed any lingering bad memories that were vying for his attention.

“Sure,” Jeff said, “right now.” He hopped down from the stool. Stretch pushed off from the bar and staggered, leaning hard against Jeff and thank fuck he was light because his height already made it awkward to hold him up. He started to call for the bartender, maybe there was someplace they could sit down in the back while he called Edge, when another guy came up next to them, helping hold Stretch up. Then another on Jeff’s side and he started to protest that he didn’t need help when a voice growled close to his ear.

"Don’t look at me. Keep your mouth shut or I'll kill you."

It was followed by the sensation of something hard butting into his ribs and this could not be happening. This did not happen in the real world, this wasn’t a Jason Bourne movie, there could not be a gun pressed to his side right now. Even his own fear was sitting on the sidelines, pushed out by disbelief as Jeff stumblingly followed the guiding arm around him leading towards the door. The crowd reluctantly parted and next to them, Stretch was shuffling along, his eye lights blown wide and fuzzily diffused. He started sagging, his skull lolling back on his shoulders and around them were murmurs, people starting to notice.

“Hey, what’s going on? Stretch?” From the direction of the bar, and Jeff glanced back wildly to catch the bartender watching with dawning concern. There was no time to say a word, to even mouth a desperate ‘help’ before he was forcibly swung back around and pushed through the door.

The cold night air was like a slap in the face, sobering, and fear was starting to sink its teeth in past his disbelief. The guy next to him was keeping back out of his line of sight and he could only barely see the one on Stretch, dark hair, taller, burly, did he have a gun, too, who were they and why—?

By the entrance, the bouncer looked up in surprise as they walked past. “Hey, Stretch, you guys, okay?”

“Fuck off!” The man holding onto Jeff barked and the gun swung towards the bouncer. There was a beat of incongruous silence broken by the strains of music coming from inside the bar, then a girl screamed, the waiting crowd scattering.

“Fuck! Get them in the car!” A different voice, loud and panicky and he caught another glimpse of dark hair before he was shoved forward again. He stumbled, almost falling to his knees among the cigarette butts that scattered the asphalt, and the memory of another parking lot was strong, the swell of panic gagging him.

He didn’t resist as he was pushed towards a van, the side door sliding open and then he was inside it, collapsing across the backseat.

Weight dropped directly on top of him with a clatter of bones and Jeff grunted, trying to push Stretch off of him enough to sit up. Only to lose his balance again as the van squealed away from the curb, the tangle of his own limbs catching with Stretch’s limp ones.

A new voice barked from the direction of the driver’s seat. “Get their phones, hurry up!”

Rough hands grabbing at them, and Jeff instinctively tried to recoil, but there was nowhere to go. His phone was yanked from his pocket and Stretch didn’t say a word, only breathing with a slurry snore into Jeff’s ear. There was the sound of a power window going down, of tires squealing against asphalt and the inside of the van was too dark to see.

Not that it mattered. Rough hands hauled Jeff upright and the person they belonged to was wearing a ski mask like a fucking heist cliché. Jeff choked back a hysterical laugh, but even panicked amusement took a backseat when ski mask demanded, “Okay, both of you need to strip.”

Jeff only stared in mute horror, barely comprehending as a duffle bag was suddenly thrust at them.

“Change into these,” Ski Mask ordered, “Don’t get any funny ideas.”

There was a pun there, Stretch would have been able to think of one. Would have if he wasn’t lying slumped across the seat. His sockets were still open, but his eye lights were dim and unseeing, the lights were on and no one was home, not quite a pun but it’d have to do.

“Please, don’t hurt him,” Jeff said. He tried not to look at the guy with the gun as he carefully opened the duffle and pulled out the clothes inside, choosing his words with the same care. “He’s…he’s fragile, just a punch and you could kill him. Please.”

“Then don’t make us do anything that’ll get him hurt.”

Good advice from a shitty source.

Jeff scrambled into the oversized t-shirt and sweatpants in the bag, then helped the other…what, kidnapper? Asshole was the strongest contender in his head and that was what Jeff went with. Helped Asshole #2 get Stretch change into his. The guy was brusque but not ungentle, at least, and the second they were finished, the van pulled up next to a dumpster. A fourth asshole sitting in the front seat hopped out, tossing all their clothes plus the bag into it. Four against two, not including guns, not the best odds. Like Jeff would have been much help even if it were mano a mano. He sure as hell wasn’t a fighter past panicked desperation and he wasn’t about to hinge Stretch’s life on that.

“Now, sit back and relax,” said Asshole With A Gun. “You two behave and no one gets hurt, okay?”

Jeff knew a lie when he heard one. He nodded anyway and huddled into the seat, one arm looped around Stretch to offer what feeble protection he could. His skull resting in Jeff’s lap was a familiar weight from movie nights and Netflix marathons. His unconsciousness was not, but he was alive, they both were. It was a place to start.

Jeff kept silent, petting the smooth curve of Stretch’s skull as he watched the streetlights flash by and waited to see what came next.

tbc

[a-crimson-lion]

Ultimatum: The Art of Lying In A Made Bed

(Or Why My Experience With Chapter 285 Is Contrary To Everyone Else's)

[Manga Spoilers Ahead. Also Opinions. Feel Free To Ignore.]

After Chapter 284, many fans were wondering how the story of BNHA would follow up on Katsuki's development. Now that Chapter 285 is officially out, fans are clamoring about Katsuki's latest acts of heroism, about how his arc is finally kicking it into high gear.

I'd be inclined to agree, but… you know how these things go.

[Heads up fans/stans, if you like Katsuki you might wanna bail. The word vomit that follows is pretty much incoherent and reflects my disaster of a thought process.]

I was looking forward to Chapter 285. I had my reservations on the execution of Chapter 284, but if the next chapter could follow it up and then some, I'd be pleasantly surprised. But then the leaks came out. And then the fan translation. And as of today, the official VIZ translation.

While everyone else is cheering for explosion boy, I'm just… done.

285 didn't get me to see how far Bakugo's journey has come. 285 didn't get me to finally root for him. And maybe I am making this decision prematurely, maybe I am missing something, but…

...the way things are going in the story I just- I just CAN'T root for him.

And I'm not saying the rest of you can't, if you're still reading. Katsuki is definitely a different person compared to Chapter 1, a better person, and he's definitely been heading on the up and up! If you can and want to support him, then by all means, go for it, don't let me stop you! It's just…

For me, chapter 284 was a wavering torch: a flicker of hope that sometimes dwindled, but was still there. Chapter 285 was the moment where I wanted to jump on the Katsuki Development Train, to finally gain some semblance of respect for him. But when I jumped, I landed on the tracks, and had to crawl back onto the platform.

I missed my chance to jump on that train. Whether it's because of previous circumstances or recent circumstances, I'll never know…

You probably wanna ask me at this point, "But Crimson, why DIDN'T Chapter 285 make you see the awe inspiring pinnacle of character development that is Katsuki Bakugo???"

To put it simply: it's a culmination thing.

For starters, there's a sort of… whiplash with Katsuki's development in the last few chapters. People like me will complain that Katsuki's development is too slow, in the case of the last 2-3 chapters, it feels like a switch was flipped, and now it's become too fast. Perhaps it's a me thing, but let me try to explain…

Shoto starts out as a standard background character. By the time he gets his spotlight in the Sports Festival, he comes off as reserved and antagonistic. After the whole "it's your power" moment, Shoto is finally able to accept the side he always hated. Then Katsuki fights Shoto, and we're shown he still needs time to grow; his left side comes with a lot of baggage he can't just brush off in the span of a single sparring match.

Fastforward to Hosu. Shoto's starting to take other people into better account. He's starting to learn to better control his fire. He's reconnected with his mother. His goal is no longer one-upping his old man; he has goals, people, that he wants to protect. He's coming into his own and wants others to do the same, like Tenya.

He joins the Katsuki Rescue Squad because, like Izuku, he had an opportunity to save Katsuki, didn't, and now he wants to make up for it. When we get to the Provisional License Exam, we're yet again slammed with the fact that his growth is still not done via Inasa, that there's still a bit of Endeavor he has to shake off, even if it was in the past. And he does progress towards that with the Remedial Course Arc. And while I have my opinions on the Endeavor Agency Arc, I'll admit that it was another development opportunity for Shoto and the Todoroki family. Shoto's growth comes with setbacks, but overall it's consistent.

Let's shift gears to Tenya, who's characterization I find fascinating. He starts out opposed to Izuku when they first meet at the Entrance Exam. He sees how Izuku is (for lack of a better phrase) "better qualified" at heroics thus far, reassesses his position, and apologizes whilst making amends. When Tenya resorts to LITERAL MURDER against Stain, the narrative does not let him go off without reprocussions. His arms are damaged, his supervisor's teaching license is revoked, and while he managed to avoid legal charges via police cover up, it still came close. Tenya listened to Stain's words, and opted to improve himself by that notion. He tries to set a better example, be a better class rep. It isn't a one and done.

Him lashing out during the Hideout Raid Arc is an offshoot of that. He doesn't deck Izuku just to be a dick; he's trying to knock some sense into him. They're so focused on Katsuki that they're forgetting about everyone else. Their friends, their teachers, their parents. If they f*** up like Tenya almost did at Hosu, they'll have hell to pay, and he doesn't want that. Of course, once they explain that combat/murder is not their M.O., Tenya tags along, if only to ensure the operation goes smoothly without this hitch. And again, Tenya keeps up. He looks after his classmates, looks after Izuku during the Shie Hassaikai arc. His growth is also consistent.

There are probably more characters I could elaborate on (Ochako, Momo, Eijiro, etc.), but I'll stop there. So, what's the deal with Katsuki's arc?

Well, it's… frustratingly back and forth.

It's one thing to have setbacks like Tenya and Shoto. It's something else entirely to have multiple setbacks and to keep trucking on with only abstract signs of development, but otherwise feeling like a very similar character compared to several chapters ago.

This is (in my opinion) Katsuki's problem. If we're going by what the manga stated, his arc technically started in Chapter 11: "Bakugo's Starting Line." But this is a rocky start. Izuku tells him about OFA right from the getgo out of guilt, but this neglects the fact that he's technically lying to everyone about it (including his new friends Ochako and Tenya), that OFA is a world-shattering secret, and that Katsuki is likely the worst person to tell this to considering that Izuku just handed Katsuki's ass to him and Katsuki was willing to use lethal force in their Trial. That aside, instead of say, sucking up his pride and opting to try and learn from everyone else, Katsuki doesn't really change strategies or approaches. He essentially does what he was planning to do since the start of UA; he's only crying because, SURPRISE, people are better than him. You'd think he'd expect that considering he called his middle school crappy…

After the USJ, once everyone had their "Lol Bakugo sux" moment on the bus ride, we get to the Sports Festival and everyone is clamoring to join Katsuki's team despite his apparent unapproachability. This feels less like something happened in the two weeks leading up to the Sports Festival, and more like history repeating itself from middle school. Moving on to the tournament, we don't even get to see how capable Katsuki is at serious combat. Two of his matches resort to Deus Ex Machina pulls, and the other two are in his corner by principle instead of difficult.

First off, Katsuki vs Ochako. I don't know why people praise this fight. For starters, it makes Katsuki HEAVILY OoC. Ochako is the only person he asks if she wants to back out before the match even starts. The ONLY person, which kinda undermines the whole "he didn't underestimate her" thing. Then he takes a reactionary stance the entire battle. Like, I thought we were still dealing with the "fist first" Katsuki. He does this to Eijiro, Fumikage, even Shoto, but Ochako? Stay still and then attack. Even if he did get his gravity removed, couldn't he just… propelly himself and let her have it. If he was proactive, he could have ended the fight quicker. Instead, he just plays sitting duck and headless chicken. If you're gonna have Katsuki win the fight, don't bulls*** it.

Which brings me to the final bit of that fight: the meteor shower. Having Katsuki blow that away after supposedly expending most of his energy earlier in the match just does NOT sit right. Ochako gets the upper hand, and then you just… negate that? You expect me to believe that Katsuki could generate an explosion at that magnitude, if nothing else? And what exactly does that do for him in the end? No one else tires him out for the remainder of the festival, which is pretty sketch.

(And yeah, I know I know "What part of her was frail?" but that's more of a retrospective thing than in the moment, coupled with the facf that it's never elaborated on again in any capacity, with Ochako or with someone else. It's a throwaway moment; a waste. Moving on…)

You really can't say much about the matchups with Eijiro and Fumikage. With Eijiro, it's an endurance match, and Katsuki apparently has infinite stamina and is on the attack. And he just… rushes him, which I'm pretty sure anyone else would do. Then with Fumikage, Dark Shadow is weak to light. Katsuki's explosions emit light on contact. Do the math.

And I am especially mad at Katsuki vs Shoto because one, he stays in place yet again at the start of the match, and two, he can apparently ignore his Quirk' weakness to low temperatures. In a gym uniform. Against a glacier the size of a building. Even with his power output, you don't see his explosions dampening in magnitude. It's obviously in his favor, which defeats any tension the fight could have had. It sucks, and in the long run, as a wise man once said, "Todoroki should have folded [his] ass."

Then we get to the Final Exams (ABOUT DAMN TIME) and… Katsuki hits Izuku for trying to cooperate, nearly gets knocked out once, and gets knocked out the second time around. He does not want to work with Izuku despite it being All Might, is petty enough to consider losing, and actively grumbles against working with Izuku. And all of his supposed self-preservation goes flying out the window when he's willing to try and beat All Might, leaving Izuku having to come and carry this boy out of the gate, which should not have let him pass.

Then there's the Training Camp attack. The second Izuku is mentioned, Katsuki decides to go AWOL, and while being kidnapped sucks, I am less sympathetic when you're boneheaded enough to help them capture you because you wanted to fight villains instead of getting to safety like the professionals recommended, all because of your one-sided hatefest with one of your classmates. Congrats, you played yourself.

Then we get to the Provisonal License Exam, which feels like a step in the right direction… until you realize this will boil over into Deku vs Kacchan 2, which will get both of them in trouble, which will give Katsuki insight into OFA while Izuku gets shunned by his classmates, and which will prevent Katsuki from the one ass beating that could have potentially taught him something. It's essentially the narrative covering his ass, and then he has the gall to be happy about other people potentially getting set back just because he was set back. Geez dude.

The Cultural Festival essentially undoes what the Remedial Course Arc accomplishes, having Katsuki look down on the rest of UA when he said NOT to look down on people earlier. And then his speech is still heavily antagonistic to the rest of the school, and to the idea of basic human decency and kindness in general. And if I'm being honest, that whole "he can play drums" feels like a big ass pull to keep him in the spotlight. At least the story brought back his ability to cook down the line.

The Joint Training Arc is just shoe horning in regards to Katsuki. It acts like his gearing up towards saving, but the circumstances are heavily, heavily in his favor, and not in a good way. I've already brought up how Katsuki won't get "saving" until the Endeavor Arc, and how here he's just doing it to show off, so I won't go into it here. Then apparently he gets to outwit a recommendation student 'cause why not? It makes him look more impressive than he actually is, even though he outright states he hasn't changed much if at all. Not to mention the narrative makes it sound like he was some sort of underdog, even though he only got kidnapped and didn't get his license. And I know those are big things, but not enough to warrant his victory feeling that triumphant. I'd probably buy it if he didn't win the Sports Festival or pass the Final Exam. Keep him in that slump for longer than you actually do, or it lessens the impact. And let's not forget, he might have been willing to help Izuku with Blackwhip via fisticuffs, but the second he realized he wasn't getting anything out of it, he noped out. And it's been what, almost 200 chapters since his "starting line?"

I don't have much to say during the Endeavor Arc (that was its own can of worms),  but as for the War Arc thus far… here's what I mean by "whiplash." The arc begins in Chapter 253. By Chapter 257, Katsuki will demonstrate how much he just does not give a f*** about Izuku's mastery over OFA so long as it looks like he'll come out on top. By Chapter 274, when Izuku's gotta split, it'll look like Katsuki has been thinking about some stuff, but by 275 he's gonna throw that out the window so he can attempt to one up Tomura and Izuku, and then he'll nearly get killed for it. And we won't know what exactly Katsuki is thinking until a flashback in Chapter 284 (which chronologically takes place after 257), where he has a conversation with All Might about his past with Izuku. Or at least the bullet points. If you're me, the start of the conversation feels less about Izuku and more so about his situation: his situation with OFA. And as much as I want to believe there was at least one good kernel in Katsuki that he was too stubborn to let out with Izuku, I feel like Katsuki only brings up him and his capabilities now because he got a Quirk. That's what put him on Katsuki's radar. That's what forced Katsuki to take notice of Izuku, what caused him to be unable to ignore his own weakness. Because of a Quirk. That's… borderline shallow, if not remarkably so.

And even when Katsuki is attempting to save Izuku in 285, his first thoughts are still on OFA. And even if we go by the line of thought that Katsuki is thinking "Even if OFA sucks, it's still Izuku's Quirk." And that's nice and all, but the flashback makes it seem like the Quirk is still All Might's Quirk as well. That all of Izuku's worth is hinged on the fact that he got a Quirk now and therefore can't be written off. Maybe he doesn't owe this to his accomplishments, but the narrative is terrible in its implications that Izuku wouldn't have gotten as much attention without it. At the end of the day, Katsuki is still associating Izuku's worth with his Quirk. And as much as I want to vaguely, vainly hope that this will change later on, I'm already at my limit

...and now that I've said my piece on almost the entire narrative thus far, let's shift gears to a few more tidbits in 285.

Again, the flashback. I think it's significant that they're shifting the focus briefly on middle school again. But you wanna know what sent me the wrong way? They didn't include the god forsaken suicide instigation. They can show Katsuki gloating. They can show Izuku up against a wall. They can even show a notebook and Izuku's face during the Sludge Villain rematch. But they can't show Izuku reacting with sorrow mixed with almost fury. That can't show Katsuki threatening him with a mere "What?" and the sparks on his palms. They can't show Izuku standing and crying, small and defeated.

"BUT HORI SAID HE WENT TO FAR WITH THAT SCENE!1!" Blah blah blah, doesn't change the fact that it still happened. Doesn't change the fact that it should be addressed, at any capacity. Doesn't change the fact that the story had the balls to recall middle school but couldn't bring itself to remember the one thing that could get its audience raising eyebrows.

But that's alright, it gave you the notebook; clearly it's done enough.

And maybe in another timeline, I could have let my jaw drop when Katsuki was hit and the chapter title was revealed. "Katsuki Bakugo: Rising" It would have been pretty damn powerful too.

...but with all the previous crap the narrative has pulled, it feels like more shoehorning. It feels like more Erasehead stepping in and shaming the audience. It feels like more All Might letting Katsuki in because he's not completely familiar with the finer details. It feels like more people. In narrative parroting that Katsuki changed when he does the bare minimum, as a hero or as a person. I can't treat this development legitimately, because so many other "legitimate" developments pulled a "psyche!" and headed out.

So, I'm done. I'm done with Katsuki, done with hoping his development will be done in a somewhat satisfying manner. Done with people telling me "it's actually good though!" like I'm blind and deaf or something, when I have enough brain cells to formulate my own opinions, and we both have enough brain cells to leave each other alone if we don't agree. Maybe when the series ends and we can all look at this in hindsight, and Katsuki has either found a way to redeem himself, or remain deplorable, I might talk about it then. But for now. I'm drawing the line. I might talk about what we've gotten up to this point, but everything past 285 I'm taking with a grain of salt. 'Cause I'm sick of hoping for something that obviously won't come through, and it's better for me and everyone involved if I just pack up and move on. BNHA isn't just Katsuki's story after all.

And if you made it to the end of all this… I hope you'll either respect my opinion, or respect my thought process. That's all I can ask.

-Crimson Lion (27 September 2020)

[sledgefuweek]

Each year we take a close look at the prompts for Sledgefu Week, for those who may be stuck for ideas or not quite sure about what the prompts could entail. Below the readmore are all seven prompts, as well as a short write-up exploring what they mean and some ideas to help get the creative juices going. Enjoy!!

Sickfic

This is a really popular and well-known fanfic trope that I feel probably needs little explanation, but I’ll write a little bit about it anyway! It essentially covers fic where one character is ill and the other cares for them -- it could encompass any kind of illness at all, (including chronic illnesses) and there’s a lot of room to get creative with it. You can go for angst, hurt/comfort, or fluff: it’s just a really good general prompt that I think works nicely to kick the week off!

It suits for Sledgefu pretty well, considering Snafu’s canon mild hypochondria, as well as the fact that Eugene’s dad is a doctor. It could be fun to lean into it: make Eugene play doctor for an actually-sick Snafu, and it could be just as fun to subvert it! There’s really endless options for canon fic: shrapnel wounds turned bad, heat-sickness, seasickness, illness from bad food or bad water or any kind of tropical disease you can think of (malaria is a big one!). You could make one of them (or both) a medic; you could genderswap them and write the gay field nurse fic this fandom sorely needs. And of course if you choose to branch out into modern AU you can begin to think of what might afflict them outside of a war setting: has Eugene been working too much and come down with a cold? Are they hungover, and need mutual care (and lots of takeout)? A lot of the time sickfic focuses on one character doing the comforting and the other character feeling unwell, but there’s nothing to say they can’t both be feeling shitty! I think we say this every year but there’s really no rules at all, you do whatever you feel inspired to do. With Sickfic, just be mindful to tag anything that others might be affected by eg. vomiting, blood, needles, etc.

Tarot

I feel like Tarot is pretty well-known to the Sledgefu fandom, or at least to those who like to write Snafu or his family a little witchy. In case you just have a vague idea of what Tarot actually is and what its purpose or origins are, I’ll explain it as concisely as I can! Tarot decks started life in Europe as playing cards, but eventually began to be used for divination. It’s made up of four suits, or the Minor Arcana, (Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles) as well as a twenty-two card Major Arcana (the imagery of which you’re probably very familiar with). Commonly, tarot decks and tarot reading is used as a means of communicating with the higher self, deities, or with the universe. They can be used as a way to see the future, answer questions, or to give/receive advice. There are different ways of reading them too, depending on how one lays out the cards: I don’t want to make this too wordy, but if you’re curious I encourage you to check out this site to learn more!

For writers, there’s a lot of places this prompt could take you! Probably the most obvious will be fortune teller fic; a classic. Lean into Snafu’s Louisiana roots and have him telling fortunes in the depths of the French Quarter, or go against the grain and have Eugene reading cards and palms and tea leaves as a practice passed down through his family. Or maybe more casual: modern AU Sledgefu flirting through amateur tarot readings with a deck picked up from a junk shop. If you read Tarot and have a connection to it, you can express that through writing! It’s a pretty open-ended prompt, especially if you consider some of the meanings of the cards; you could even write a story inspired by that! The Hermit: Snafu withdrawing, leaving Eugene on the train to spend the next few months in solitude, working through things. The Moon: Snafu and Eugene hitting a rough patch, hiding things from each other. The opportunities really become endless once you start taking the readings of the cards into account! And for visual artists, this must be such a fun prompt: I feel like it’s so a visually rich, whether you’re re-drawing the cards to encompass Snafu and Eugene within them, or making a collage based around some of the things mentioned above: fortune tellers shops, witches cottages, etc.

Trinket

Every Sledgefu Week we tend to have a couple prompts that are a little more open to interpretation, and this year’s ‘Trinket’ is one of those. It might be difficult to try and think of something to base a whole fic or piece of art around, but we really encourage you to let your imagination run wild! There’s already some great trinkets in the show itself: Eugene’s ring, the lighter that Gunny Haney gave him, Snafu’s stolen gold teeth, or their dog tags. Think of small, special objects that you might have: what imbues them with comfort or meaning? What makes you love them? You could have Eugene giving Snafu his ring, or have Eugene musing over war and death and loss while smoking a cigarette lit by his lighter. If you’re into Modern AUs, how could these objects carry through to modern day? Once you start thinking about it, the ideas start rolling in. Feel free to invent special trinkets for them: or maybe trinkets that they hate and want to get rid of, trinkets that remind them of bad times. Trinkets that remind them of each other, or family, or war. So much meaning can be held in the things we own, and I think it’s such a lovely concept to explore!

Crossover

So this prompt was born from the sheer number of suggestions we had for various movie, TV, and book AUs. We didn’t want to put them all to the poll and risk a lot of you feeling disappointed over the one you wanted not being selected, so thought it’d work best to condense them into a ‘Crossover’ prompt so everyone could do whatever they liked. So this is a very very broad one! It would be impossible for me to really go through the prompt and highlight some things that you could do for it, because you can really do anything you want to! Anything! It encompasses movies, video games, TV, books, musicals... if something tells a story, you can do a crossover. So if there’s ever been a film/book/etc. AU you wanted to do for Sledgefu Week but couldn’t quite get it to match the prompts, now is the time!

Vacation

A pretty self explanatory prompt, and one that I think can appeal to people who prefer canonverse and those who like modern AU too! Do you want to send Snafu and Eugene on the holiday of their dreams, or are they gonna be bickering in a gas station over who gets control of the map? Is Snafu gonna drive across a couple states to surprise Eugene by visiting? Is Eugene gonna do the same? There’s a lot of scenarios you can apply to the backdrop of them vacationing, and a lot of emotional journeys you can take them through! And for the canonverse crowd, you have the extra addition of letting them go have fun on an R&R, or taking a road trip post-war, visiting 1950s Paris... you can really do whatever you like!

Historical

This was another prompt like ‘Crossover’ that came from a lot of various suggestions that all boiled down to a similar thing: different historical events or periods. So like Crossover, I won’t linger too long on it (this post is long enough already) except just to say again: do whatever you’re inspired to do! There’s no rules here, you could even take everyone out of the Pacific and put them over in Germany: give them a different experience of war. In fact, you can do that with any war if you wanted to! Wanna do a M*A*S*H AU but made something else for Crossover? You could do it here! Want to put them in the 1920s? You got it. In the 1850s? Yeehaw, they’re cowboys now. 1969, Summer of Love? 1600s, make Snafu a prince? Literally the world is your oyster!

Horror

Past Sledgefu Week prompts have included things that could come under the horror umbrella (Supernatural, for example) but didn’t necessarily have to be made 'horrific’. For the ‘Horror’ prompt this year, we want to see frightening! Disquieting, uncomfortable; creations that either cross over with existing horror franchises, or lean on horrific things you come up with yourself. Horror movies, or TV shows, or books or podcasts or pieces of art all seek to elicit a sense of fear: this can be done by tapping into common phobias, or nightmares, those things which are universally and almost instinctively scary. We want to see things which lean into that, in whatever way you want to do it! 

I’m no horror media expert (not by a long shot) but the opportunities for this prompt are really vast simply because horror has so many subgenres to work with. You could go gothic horror; Dracula, Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights (a personal favourite AU -- Eugene soaked out on the moors, searching for Heathcliff-Snafu? Divine). Or you could go to the opposite end of the spectrum: Jennifer’s Body AU, Final Girl AU -- there’s no set way to do horror, in fact you could even bring horror into canonverse if you don’t like AUs. Think the Terror: some unknown beast lurking beyond the borders of their camp on Pavuvu, or Okinawa. Or you could even take the prompt entirely literally and explore the horrors of war and the toll it takes on them both. Please don’t feel stuck into needing to do Scary: horror is about fear and revulsion and dread, and these feelings don’t necessarily need to come from a haunting! (This is also a prompt ripe for monsterfucking, just FYI).

                                                - - - - - - - - - -

So that’s the prompts for this year! They��re all really really great, and have a lot of potential to make some fantastic stuff :~) And to reiterate something I said right at the start, there are no rules here! I think every year we normally get at least one person unsure whether their idea will be okay for the prompt they’d like to make it for, so I just wanna say here: don’t second-guess yourself! As long as it can be linked back to the prompt in some way or another (can literally be the vaguest way possible) you’ll be absolutely fine. We don’t vet submissions at all, especially not for their content relating to the prompts. All we ask is that you remember to stay respectful in what you’re writing, and when the time comes to post it, you tag and warn appropriately :~)

On the subject of writing respectfully, we’d like to just take a moment to link the document on mindful writing re: race and gender that was made last year. Please take a look at it, even if you read it last year! It’s always good to keep these things at the front of your mind, as fandom is a community sport and we want to keep it fun and safe for everyone involved! So thank you if you’ve made it this far through this whole post, check out the doc, and enjoy the rest of the run-up to Sledgefu Week!

[lovemesomehwa]

Come To Brazil

Shoyo Hinata

After hearing that the Greatest Decoy had trained in her home country, Y/N just had to find out what his experience was.

Based on: Come To Brazil - Why Don't We

Warnings- cursing, implied nsfw, she/her pronouns

a/n: This took way too long to finish, but I'm back ! This is the first fic I'm basing off a song so I'd highly recommend giving it a listen as you read <3

They were gorgeous, beautiful even. The red sequins sparkled in the light every time they moved. I didn’t notice how revealing it was until they sat down, the low cut complementing their build. I could tell they were nervous, but I couldn’t tell what for. I wasn’t one to talk though, my senses were on fire, leaving me a bit overwhelmed.

I don’t usually tag along on these things, especially not when Atsumu has anything to do with it. But tonight was an exception since it was his birthday. I told myself I was ready but in all honesty, I don’t think anything could have prepared me for this. The music was so loud I swear I felt the house shake. It was packed wall to wall with people, most I didn’t even know he knew. I didn’t even know them and we’ve been teammates for years.

Somehow I made it into one of the less crowded rooms, one of the waiting staff handing me a glass of liquor as soon as I came through the doorway. This one held a different vibe than the others, the music not as loud and you could actually see the floor. It looked like a lounge, the dark velvet couches pushed against the wall making it seem larger than it was. Curtains and solid tapestries covered every inch of wall available. I looked around, trying to find somewhere to sit that wasn’t already taken. Luckily there was a corner piece available that gave me a good view of the room. I took a deep breath and took a sip from my glass, starting to get anxious. I wasn’t one for crowds but one night couldn’t hurt right?

(Y/N) pov.

“Wait really?”

“Yea, he trained there for two years before joining the team. Pretty sure ya would like him, he’s yer type too…” I looked up at Atsumu, eager to learn more about his teammate. “Pretty sure he’s here if ya want to talk to ‘em.” He turned around, his attention shifting onto the next person. I scrunched my nose and walked off, wanting to find this ‘decoy’ ‘Tsumu was talking about. Something about Brazil had piqued my interest in him.

I pushed through the crowd, stumbling a bit from being pushed around. It took four rooms and one awkward intrusion before I finally found him in the lounge. It was definitely less crowded but there was still a good number of people. He seemed unbothered, taking a sip from his glass as he put away his phone and looked up. I made my way over, narrowly avoiding an elbow or two.

“Hinata right?” I spoke up, looking down at him. He smiled brightly and nodded, his mood seeming to change. This wasn’t my first time seeing him, he’s been on countless magazine covers and all over Atsumu’s page; but It was my first time up close. I finally understood why everyone compared him to sunshine. He truly was a ball of light, what with those wide eyes and bright smile, I felt like my heart skipped a beat just from looking at him. I couldn’t help but notice how nicely he cleaned up. His hair was gelled and swooped back, accentuating a fresh looking undercut. The white button up certainly made him stand out against the room's darker colors. I sat down next to him, adjusting my own clothes out of habit.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I flashed a smile, shaking my head.

“Afraid not, I’m one of Atsumu’s friends.” I laughed nervously, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “He was telling me about how you trained for a while in Brazil and since that's where I’m from I wanted to ask you a few questions-if that’s alright with you…”

“No no no, of course it’s okay! I’m actually quite interested in your experience now!” He shifted to face me, accidentally bumping our knees.

Hinata pov.

They were gorgeous, beautiful even. The red sequins sparkled in the light everytime they moved. I didn’t notice how revealing it was until they sat down, the low cut complementing their build. I could tell they were nervous, but I couldn’t tell what for. I wasn’t one to talk though, my senses were on fire, leaving me a bit overwhelmed.

made me more anxious than I already was. I took another sip from my glass, hoping it’ll give me some liquid courage. I felt my throat burn with the aftertaste, making me scrunch my nose.

“So, you first, what do you wanna know?” I looked over at them, locking our gaze.

“Well, what made you choose Brazil in the first place?” I grinned, happy to answer.

“It honestly wasn’t my first choice, initially I had wanted to go to California so I could learn to play on the sand. But I got an offer from a trainer who said he was based in Rio. Next thing I know I’m boarding a plane with nothing but a backpack and my passport!” I explained, chuckling at the memory.

“Woah, that’s so cool! You must’ve had so many offers from professionals who wanted to train right?” Their eyes shone with curiosity. I don’t think they did it on purpose but they got a bit closer, leaning in like it was an interrogation. I rubbed the back of my neck, gulping nervously.

“Well-not really, I didn’t have too many but I was grateful for the ones I did receive. I think one of my favorite things about my training there was how much time I was able to spend outside. The sun there is just so much more intense, it's honestly insane. I did get heat stroke during the first few days though. That was not fun.” I glanced to the side, trying to calm my sudden spike in nerves.

“I’m sure, did you get any sunburns?” They tilted her head, smiling. I nodded, humming and swirling my glass to make a whirlpool effect.

“Oh yeah, definitely.” She didn’t respond after that, instead she looked away. I couldn’t help but stare, admiring the stray hairs that refused to be pinned down. The way the gloss made her lips shine. I had to tear away my gaze before she caught me, but I couldn’t bring myself to. It felt like I was trapped, almost in a trance. It felt like a while had passed before she finally spoke up, turning back to me.

“Do you wanna dance or are you just gonna stare...?” I could feel my face warm up from being caught.

“I- sure…” She smiled, standing up and holding out a hand. I took it and pulled myself up, letting her guide me to the dance floor. I downed the rest of my drink while she led, hoping it would take the edge off. I blinked a few times, not expecting it to be that strong. I set the glass on a staff tray as we passed, not needing it anymore.

She ended up taking me through a couple different rooms before she found one she was satisfied with, if I didn’t know any better I would assume the house was just one giant maze. I couldn’t see much from where we were in the crowd but it was definitely hotter. The lights would alternate between blue, green, and red; similar to the lighting you would find at a rave. The room itself was hot, the temperature definitely warmer than the one we talked in.

We were awkward at first, trying to loosen up was harder than it looked. Whether or not it was the alcohol kicking in or not, I felt bolder, finally able to let go.

(Y/N) pov.

As we danced it felt like the rest of the world melted away, leaving just the two of us. The music was loud, but not as loud as my heart beat thumping in my ear. It only seemed to get faster as time went on, the bass on the speakers making the floor shake. The ghost of his touch left me with goosebumps and a feeling I couldn’t quite shake. I closed my eyes and put my hands up, letting my body move on it's own. In hindsight, that might not have been the best idea, but we were both comfortable enough at this point. When I opened my eyes we were noticeably closer, hardly any space between us as we moved in sync. I smiled at him, his eyes shining back in what little light reached us.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was music, or maybe it was how I wanted to know what he felt like against me. I dunno how it happened, but there we were, skin to skin in the middle of the dance floor with his lips on mine.

I looped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as I felt his hands drift lower on my waist. Our lips moved in sync as our bodies swayed, keeping with the tempo of the music that's just now starting to fade back in. Everything suddenly came to focus once I felt a cold slick down my back. I pulled away instantly, suddenly sober. I turned around, coming face to face with Atsumu while a disheveled Hinata stood behind me.

"You asshat, what was that for?!" The asshat in question laughed, swirling a clear glass filled with ice and what I had assumed was alcohol.

"Ya two were maken' a scene, if yer gonna kiss, do it in a bathroom or at least not in the middle of my floor!" Atsumu disclosed, smiling smugly and strutting off into the crowd. I turned back to the small ginger and smiled upon seeing his eyes quickly look up from where they were.

"You up for round two?" I ventured carefully. He grinned and grabbed my hand, nimbly leading me as we bobbed and weaved our way back through the dance floor, headed toward what I could only guess was one of the bathrooms.

I stared at myself in the mirror, smoothing out my clothes as if I wasn't just on my knees. Hinata watched as I fixed myself, slightly dizzy. I grinned, eyeing him as he sat, legs still spread from where I had been not five minutes ago. I hesitated before asking him a question as he fixed his hair.

"You got a pen?" He looked at me quizzically before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a green ink joy pen. "Hand please~" I took his wrist and turned it over, writing my number on it in thick green ink. He took it back and read the numbers, mumbling them under his breath.

"What's this for…?" He asked, tilting his head. I couldn't help but giggle at his stupidity.

"It's my number idiot, call me if you're ever back in Brazil. That way we can do this again sometime…" I ruffled his hair before unlocking the door and stepping through. "Maybe then you'll get a real welcome~"

[pocket-void]

Some Stuff About Marcus Pt.1

Alright, I’m finally gonna talk about Marcus in more depth for a lil bit because honestly the more I think about him the more I want to talk about him. So I’m gonna do just that! Both for fun and to get some stuff out of my creative system. ^///^

So let’s start with the man himself, shall we?

Marcus

Marcus is my personal version of the mysterious Orange side, and he’s more of an OC than a theory and I just really enjoy talking about him sometimes. So I do! I talk more about what he represents in this post (there’s also other miscellaneous scraps of info about him in the orange side tag), this one is gonna focus more on his exact relationship with each of the other sides (I always welcome more specific asks if you ever wanna know anything else! Since I’m very rambly and believe me when I say that I have answers to basically everything >///<). These are longer than I thought so I’m splitting it up...but if you’re still here, then strap in folks! u///u

Roman

Marcus doesn’t dislike Roman, but he’s not a big fan of him either. Theoretically they could have a better relationship but it’s hindered by a perception of Marcus that someone else had set a long time ago. (We’ll get to that)

One of the bigger reasons why Marcus and Roman don’t quite get along is simply due to their completely opposite levels of self respect. Roman is insecure and often unsure about his accomplishments and how others feel about him, while Marcus is too sure about his skills and how others perceive him. There are clear flaws to both.

In Marcus’ case, it’s made him incredibly stubborn and bitter as a result of being seen as a problem and not being able to do anything. It’s very difficult to convince him he’s wrong, and while he’s not dumb enough to think he’s right about everything, he gets more aggressive than necessary in the face of opposition at times. But more than anything Marcus is honest. He’s blunt and isn’t afraid of just stating how he feels to people, and Roman’s reluctance to do so really bugs him at times. In fact, he’s sometimes angry for him.

The fact that simple phrases can shatter Roman’s entire ego drives Marcus up walls, because if he were in his position he’d probably deck someone in the face right then and there. Being insulted? Getting what he fears most spat at him like venom? Marcus would never stand for that. Beyond that he’s also mad for the people who care about Roman. Why can’t he believe them? Can’t he see how much he’s cared about? How worried people are? Does he really? Marcus thinks that distrust and insecurity feels like an insult to them.

The thing about Marcus is that he’s been through being branded bad and evil. He’s still the bad guy in a couple of ways. He’ll play the bad guy if he has to. He’s over it, though not quite over it as he’d like to be... In a way, he’s also envious of Roman. Roman is important. The others do actually love him. And deep down, Marcus also respects the things he does and doesn’t want him to be crippled by his self doubt because what the two have in common is passion. A drive and determination to do the things they want, and to achieve the goals they aim for. It’s just a shame that their relationship is soured by their general perceptions of each other.

Marcus also just isn’t big on theatrics, but that’s because he uh, can’t see. He likes to make fun of Roman just like anybody else in casual conversation and only ever refers to him as “Red”, “Princey”, or on occasion “Ruby”. He jokingly takes Roman’s threats seriously when they quip, and while they never actually get into fights, Roman is aware that Marcus will actually throw down.

At the end of the day, Marcus wants Roman to consider himself his own hero. He doesn’t understand Roman’s need to keep up an image because he’s never had an image to live up to, let alone anyone who'd look to him for inspiration. Whether Roman likes him or not doesn’t really matter to him, he doesn’t care about people who’ve made up their minds about him and are too set in certain ways of thinking.

Which is hypocrisy at its finest, but we’re not there yet.

Janus

Right off the bat, they do not get along. Which you might find kind of odd, considering they’re both under the umbrella of “dark side”. The truth is, they’re tentative colleagues at best. Hilariously Logan probably gets along with Janus better than Marcus does, and there are a couple very fair reasons behind this.

On the one hand, they both agree on doing things for the “self” (Which in their case is c!Thomas). They both agree that the self should be the most important person in one’s life, and will do whatever it takes to protect it. However, the biggest difference between them is the methods they go about doing so. And it’s here that Marcus’ righteous anger often clashes harshly with Janus’ need for self preservation. Marcus doesn’t lie, he doesn’t see the need to. If he wants something, he’ll do it. If he believes something, he’ll say it. He does it because he knows he’s right, and that’s what matters. Obviously this would cause a lot of problems in real life if you actually are that blunt 24/7, and in those cases Janus has to reign him in quite a bit.

Marcus is fundamentally reckless, brash, and prone to getting carried away if not kept in check, which makes him kind of a danger to Thomas’ wellbeing at times. The thing is, both of them are aware of this. Which is actually why Marcus isn’t as spiteful about stepping down as he could be. He knows that he can do more harm than good if he ever steps out of bounds. This won’t stop him from feeling like his input would infinitely accelerate certain debates, and on a personal level he does still feel like he has the right to fight for that recognition, but he doesn’t because he’s not dumb enough to actively cause harm to others for the sake of himself. It’s not what he wants. What he will and often does do however, is do things that end with him getting hurt in the end. Maybe the reason he disagrees with Janus so much is because his own sense of self preservation is surprisingly poor.

A mildly exaggerated analogy I like to think about is that: If under any circumstance the two of them would have to plot revenge, Janus would focus more on personal safety and Marcus would focus more on personal vindication. Marcus has zero qualms about actually throwing hands, no matter the resulting physical consequence (If his scars were any indication) which Janus would 100% be against. Imagine the consequences of a physical confrontation! Absolutely not. Snake man would prefer more subtle and manipulative tactics, and would probably prefer to frame someone without being implicated himself if possible. They usually compromise, but always butt heads one way or another.

In casual conversation, Marcus is more snarky to Janus than anything. They trade sarcastic remarks often and tend to be a lil snippy, but they often agree on similar points? But also insist that they don’t get along, which is pretty funny. Marcus calls Janus “Yellow” or “Snake”, and sometimes a few yellow flower names like “Tansy” or “Marigold”.

Remus

Would it come as a surprise if I said these two actually get along ok? Think about it: They’re both blunt, forthcoming with their ideas (As wild as Remus’ are), and are at times prone to violence. They’re both seen as “bad” and both have experienced being forcefully repressed one way or another. They kind of just vibe on a similar plane of existence if I’m honest with you. More than that however, both are relatively accepting of themselves, Remus more so than Marcus actually. There are some things Orange unfortunately still has to come to terms with.

On a casual level, they probably can do some pretty reckless and dumb things together. Marcus respects anybody with self confidence really, and the way Remus just owns being the garbage man he is definitely gets a pass in his book. It doesn’t mean they never disagree though. In a lot of ways, Marcus is still tied to logic, and Remus’ chaotic nature isn’t always suited to how he works. They conflict the most when it’s time to put the chips down and actually get things done. Remus totally does his best to bug the hell out of him too, much to his chagrin. He makes it pretty clear how he feels about it, but the duke isn’t fazed. Tackle the blind man, he dares you.

Marcus isn’t exactly good with creative input, it’s not his function. In fact, he himself is actually locked in a very specific type of world view from his experiences over the years. It’s not intentional, he just tends to grow irrational when he gets too heated. Sometimes he forgets to take his hand out of the fires that burn him, and it inevitably comes at a detriment to himself. Remus has the capacity to make him incredibly furious under bad circumstances, and if they aren’t careful he might actually act upon dangerous suggestions that Remus just casually suggests. If Remus is the voice behind intrusive thoughts, Marcus is the impulse that actually acts upon them. He won’t, obviously, but spite and anger can push people to do rash things. They both know better than that of course, but it’s a possibility that will never go away.

Marcus calls Remus “Green”, though he also refers to him by odd green things sometimes like “moss” or “seaweed”. I like to imagine the two of them going off and smashing up random things to blow off steam/just for fun. But that’s just me. u///u

---

If you’re still reading then thank you??? This is honestly more self indulgent than anything, but I just have way too much stuff I could talk about and it needs to go somewhere akjbefkaefk.

I shall talk about the rest in Part 2 perhaps. o///o

[hopelikethemoon]

Pretty Woman (Javier x Reader) {MTMF} [smut]

Title: Pretty Woman Rating: Explicit Length: 3700 Warnings: Angst (discussions of depression, therapy, etc.) and Smut (Bathtub sex) Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in September late 1997. It starts with Javier POV and jumps to Reader’s.  Summary: Javier and Reader go to therapy and try to work on things.

Taglist:  @grapemama​​​​​  @seawhisperer​​​​​ @huliabitch​​​​​ @pedropascalito​​​​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​​​ @thewallpapergoesorido​​​​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​​ @gooddaykate​​​​ @livasaurasrex​​​ @ham4arrow​​​ @hiscyarika​​​​ @plexflexico​​​ @readsalot73​​​ @hdlynn​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​​ @randomness501​​​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​​  @roxypeanut​​​ @just-add-butter​​​ @snivellusim​​​ @amarvelousmandalorian​​​​ @lukesrighthand​​​ @historynerd04​​​ @mrsparknuts​​​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​​ @awesomefandomsunited​​​ @ah-callie​​​ @swhiskeys​​ @lady-tano​​​ @beskar-droids​​​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​​​ @longitud-de-onda​​​ @cool-ultra-nerd​​​ @himbopoes​​​ @findhimfives​​​ @pedrosdoll​​​ @seeking-a-greatt-perhaps​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​ @arrowswithwifi​​​ @random066​​​ (more tags in the replies)

Javier slowly rocked his lower jaw as he stared at the therapist. The older woman had asked him to ‘talk about what was on his mind’. There was a lot on his mind. How specific did she want him to get? 

He scrubbed his hands over his face, glancing to his left towards the window. It was a gorgeous day outside, it seemed like a damned shame to be trapped inside talking to a shrink. He’d had to talk to therapists before. Psych evaluations were a commonplace when you handled guns for the government. But none of that ever delved into the sort of shit this meeting was supposed to delve into. 

“Whenever you feel ready, Mr. Peña.” 

Javier swallowed thickly, slowly looking back at Nancy. “There’s a lot to say.” He admitted, brows drawn together as he rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip. 

“Let’s start at the beginning, alright? How did the two of you meet?”

“Work.” Javier scratched at his jaw. “She came to Colombia in 1987.” 

Nancy nodded slowly, “And when did your relationship begin?”

“1992.” He sank back on the sofa, rubbing at the back of his neck, letting his hand linger there at the curve of his throat. “Our daughter was born the following year.” 

She wrote something down in her notebook, nodding her head thoughtfully. “And how was that experience for you, Javier?”

There it was. 

“Not great.” Javier admitted, staring at the ground. “It was a fucked up situation for both of us. We kept our relationship a secret for about a year. I wasn’t really involved, at all, during the pregnancy.” 

“Why not?”

“She cared about her job at the DEA more than I did. I mean, her reservations weren’t without cause. They treated her like shit for being pregnant. Knowing what I know now, I don’t blame her.” Javier shifted in his seat. “We’ve hashed all of this out before. It’s a dead horse we keep beating.” 

“What do you mean by keep beating? That implies you’ve had this conversation with her more than once.” 

He clenched his teeth together and nodded. “Yeah.” Javier twisted the ring on his left finger nervously. “Look, I know I’m not fucking innocent in all of this. I think I fell in love with her in the summer of ‘89. Or at least realized I was in love with her.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I knew she deserved better than me—”

Nancy interjected, “What do you mean by that?” 

“That she deserves better than me? Exactly what I said.” 

“Why do you think that?”

“You’ve met her.” Javier folded his arms across his chest, feeling defensive. “She’s perfect and I’m… Look, I’ve fucked up a lot. I can own that.” 

“No one is perfect,” Nancy shook her head slowly. “Do you think that might put a weight on her?”

“What?” Javier frowned. “I think she’s perfect. That’s my personal opinion and that’s not going to change.”

“Isn’t that opinion the reason why you don’t think you’re good enough for her?”

He looked away. “No.”

“Then what is the reason?”

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, “I don’t know where to begin with that one, Nancy.” He admitted, rubbing at the crease between his brows. “I fucked up a lot before her. Before our relationship.” He exhaled heavily, “She was a damn good agent and I’m the reason she had to leave that behind.” 

“Do you feel guilty about that?”

“So many questions.” He huffed. “Yeah. Of course I feel guilty about it.”

“But you feel responsible for her losing her job?”

Javier swallowed thickly. “Yeah.”

“And why is that?”

“That night was a long time coming, but I shouldn’t… We were both drunk.”

“You were both under the influence.”

“I think we were shot for shot.” He frowned, thinking back to that night. “Yeah, we were. She left before I had the chance to tell her that I didn’t want it to be a one night stand.”

“Do you resent her for that?”

Javier rubbed his thumb over the ring on his finger, nodding slowly. “But I’m just as much at fault. I chose not to confront her for three months. I thought she just didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“And how long has it been since your daughter was born?” Nancy questioned. 

“Josie? She’ll be five in May.”

“No, your newborn.” She made a note in her journal, before flipping back a few pages, humming thoughtfully.

“She’s three months old.”

“I see.” She nodded. “You have a pattern, Javier. Something happens and you wait… What are you waiting for?”

Javier stared at a spot just above Nancy’s head, his jaw clenched tight. “I decided a long time ago that I would rather have some of her, rather than none of her.” He admitted, rubbing at his eyes then. They burned with the pull of emotion he felt. “I love her.”

“There is no question that either of you love each other. You shield each other from your own pain at the detriment of your wellbeing.” She closed her journal, shaking her head. “You understand what your partner is going through, don’t you?”

Javier nodded slowly, “Postpartum depression. I should’ve seen it sooner. She wasn’t herself, but I just thought...” 

“That what happened in Colombia was happening again?”

“That she almost died and she realized she didn’t want this.” 

“But that isn’t the case, is it?” 

Javier shook his head. “I checked out a book at the library. I want to figure out how I can help her.” 

“The fact that you’re here is proof enough.” Nancy told him warmly. “I have worked with couples who refused to participate. Husbands — partners — who didn’t think they needed to be involved in this process.” 

“I want to help her.” Javier said resolutely. “I want to help both of us get back to where we were before. Better than we were before.” 

He knew there was shit. Unintentional pain they’d inflicted on each other. And this funky little room with a bonsai tree, miniature fountain, and overstuffed sofa was going to be the place they figured it out. 

Nancy smiled at him, “You both love each other very much, Javier. That is not something you should worry about with her.” 

“Thank you.” He said, rubbing his hands together. “Is there… homework or something?”

“There is.” She laughed softly. “I’m suggesting that both of you engage in intimacy with each other before our next session. It doesn’t have to be anything more than holding each other’s hands or perhaps even a massage. But I want you to listen to each other and speak to each other.” 

“And that’s it?” Javier frowned, leaning forward. “Shouldn’t there be more homework?”

“The issues you’re both facing won’t be solved overnight.” 

“Well, thank you.” Javier glanced at his watch. “I have to go pick the kids up from the sitter.” 

“I’ll see you next week.” 

 ----

 Therapy was weird. You had spent so many years bottling everything up. For a while you had Connie, Steve, and Javier to vent with, but then the Murphys left and your relationship with Javier changed. And then you had Connie again — but even with her there were issues you didn’t want to burden her with.

So you carried the burden. 

That was something you had identified with Nancy. You and Javier were two extremely similar people. Whether it had always been that way or proximity had guaranteed it — you reacted similarly. 

Which did fuck all when it came to voicing frustrations. 

For three months you slept beside Javier, oblivious to the fact that he thought you’d unofficially ended things with him. Either he was too good at hiding his emotions or you had been too wrapped up in yourself. 

And you had. 

Nancy reassured you that everything you were feeling was valid. Those fears, self-doubts, worries — they weren’t your fault. But you’d have to work to get rid of them. And it might not be easy. 

You weren’t particularly fond of the way she had you reflect on your relationship with Javier. There were sore spots that were still sore and she knew exactly how to salt the wound. 

“Are we allowed to talk about therapy?” You questioned, tucking your legs beneath you as you settled onto the sofa, grabbing the blanket off the back and pulling it around you. “Or is it a secret society?”

Javier hummed thoughtfully, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he settled down onto the sofa beside you. “She didn’t say.” He glanced at you. “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

You laughed softly, shuffling closer to him so you could sink into his side. “I found it frustrating, but in a good way.”

He readjusted the blanket so it was around both of you, curling his arm around your waist and pulling you in closer. “Yeah. It was rough. I didn’t think it was revolutionary—“

“No!” You shook your head. 

“But it was nice to talk to someone outside of it.” Javier squeezed your arm. “Did she give you homework?”

“A journal.” You answered. “She wants me to write down the good things that happen every day.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

Javier tilted his head to look at you, “She told me to engage in intimacy.”

You blushed. “That’s definitely because of my session.” You turned into him, pressing your face against his shoulder to hide the warmth in your cheeks. 

“Now you’re gonna have to tell me, baby.”

You groaned, shaking your head. “It’s so stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.” He rubbed your back. “Tell me.”

You pinched his side lightly. “Shut up.” 

“Ow.” Javier laughed. “I wonder what Nancy will think about that.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Really?”

“Javier.” You pursed your lips and attempted to pout, but he was undeterred. Nancy had told you to discuss things after all. “Fine.” You crossed your arms across your chest and sighed. “I don’t even remember what we were discussing, but we got onto the topic of sex and how that area of our life was.”

“Ah.”

“You should’ve realised where this was going.” You scolded him. “We’ve had our dry spells. But you haven’t touched me since April.”

Javier raked his fingers through his hair, sighing heavily. “Because I was afraid.”

“I know. But it’s almost October.”

“And with everything you’ve been dealing with—“

“Almost seven months.”

“Shit.” He rubbed at his jaw. “How the hell has it been that long?”

“I’m not breakable.” You reminded him. 

“I know you’re not.” He squeezed your shoulder three short times, before he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“And sex is good for mental health.” 

“Well then, it’s decided.” He teased lightly, playing his fingers over your hair. 

“Let’s watch the movie and see where the night goes.” You told him, reaching up to brush your fingers over his jawline. “Does that sound like a plan?”

He nodded. 

 ——

“Is that movie why you wanted a big bathtub?” Javier questioned, arms folded against his chest as he watched you leaning over the side of the tub to test the temperature.

“Maybe.” You clicked your tongue against your teeth and stood up straight, turning around to face him. “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

“It was an interesting choice.” He drawled out, pushing away from the wall, taking a step towards you. There was a look in his eyes that had your heart racing. “That piano scene.”

You smirked at him. “Right?” You tilted your head as he drew nearer, your breath wavering as he crowded into your space. “Were you inspired?” Fuck. You hoped the answer was yes. You had missed this — him. 

Javier canted his head to the side as he closed the distance between you, his breath was hot against your lips, but he didn’t kiss you. Not yet. 

He ran his hands along your waist dragging them down to your hips. There was a certain reverence to his touch. “I don’t know how he did it. Not kissing her.” He lifted his hand and traced his thumb over your bottom lip. 

“Because it makes for a good movie.” You whispered, curling your fingers around the back of his neck. “But don’t make me wait, Javi” 

Javier brushed his lips against yours, hesitantly at first, before he slanted his mouth hungrily over yours. It was the sort of stoke-your-fire kiss that you had been dying for. Even after Sofia, you had just wanted to be kissed like you were alive. Passion, need, want. 

But you didn’t dwell on the past. 

You moaned against his mouth, your fingers sliding through his hair. With your other hand, you started to unbutton his shirt, greedily trying to get under the layers that he’d kept between the two of you.

Javier had the same idea, peeling off your sleep pants, fingers hooking into the waistband of your underwear before he stopped. He pulled back, looking downwards. “I haven’t seen these in awhile.” 

“I was hoping the movie might be inspiring.” You whispered, sliding your hand over his chest seductively, before you took a step back to pull off your top, showing off your matching bra. “You like?”

He leaned down to kiss you again, dragging his teeth over your bottom lip. “I love it.” He brushed his nose against yours. “I love you.” Javier trailed a row of kisses along your jawline, down your throat, his tongue darting out over your collarbone. 

You reached for the counter behind you, fingers gripping at it for support as Javier’s mouth continued downwards. He pressed open-mouthed kissed over your stomach, leaving no patch of skin untouched. He nipped at you, teeth catching soft skin before his tongue soothed the same spot. 

Javier rose back up to his full height, his hand slipping in between your thighs as his mouth caught yours again. You draped your arms over his shoulders, nails scraping against his back as you rocked into his touch. 

He stroked his fingers over your cunt through your underwear, his thumb expertly finding that little bundle of nerves that had arousal flooding your system. You were already slick with want, you could feel the way your underwear was clinging to you. Feeling his fingers on you was better than anything you could’ve done for yourself. 

You reached down to work on his pants. You fumbled with his belt, forcing it open, before you slid down the zipper and shoved them down his hips. 

Javier took a step back and kicked them off, followed by his boxers. You couldn’t resist leaning back against the counter and raking your eyes over his naked flesh. “Like what you see?” He questioned with a smirk.

“Oh, yeah.” You laughed breathlessly. You moved in close to him, one hand sliding around the back of his neck as you leaned up to kiss him, while your other hand moved downwards and curled around his cock. You stroked him slowly, your thumb dragging along the underside of his cock — before you released him and stepped around him with a teasing grin. “The bath is getting cold.” 

You could feel Javier’s eyes on you as you leaned over the side of the tub and tested the temperature again. He took the bait. He moved towards you, his hands curling around your hips, sliding up your waist. With deft fingers he unclasped the back of your bra, before dragging your underwear down your thighs. 

“Javi.” You breathed out as you stood back up, leaning back against him. His mouth was at the crook of your neck, his tongue darting out to tease you there. His hand skimmed over your stomach, fingers leaving patterns against your skin. 

“Baby,” Javier whispered. You tilted your head to look at him. “Can I tell you that you’re perfect?”

Your brows furrowed and you laughed. “Yes?” 

“Because you are.” He drawled out, squeezing your hip as you turned around to face him. You ran your hands over his arms, tilting your head as you looked up at him. “You’re fucking perfect to me.” 

You smiled up at him, “Why don’t you get in the bathtub and you can show me how perfect you think I am.”

Javier sank down into the first bathtub first, wet fingers gliding through his dark hair as he settled back against the wall of the tub. Your eyes wandered over him, watching the way the water lapped at his skin as he moved in it. The way his cock jutted upwards from beneath the water. Fuck. 

“I missed you.” You whispered as you climbed into the bathtub and settled onto his lap. 

Javier gently trailed his fingers over your breast, his fingers curling around your ribs, “Can I?” He questioned, brushing his thumbs over the skin beneath your breasts. 

You nodded slowly as you leaned in to kiss him. A moan slipped past your lips as he grasped at your breasts, palming them roughly. One time, years ago, you told him not to touch your breasts, and ever since then he still asked you for permission to fondle you. No one could claim he didn’t listen to you. 

You pressed your forehead against his, breathing raggedly as you lifted up on your knees. “Need you.” You mumbled, curling your fingers around his cock as you guided him to your center. 

Javier hissed out your name as you sank down onto his cock, his hips rocking upwards to meet you. You clenched around him as you settled back into his lap. “Fuck.” He leaned back against the tub. “You feel so fucking good, baby.” He ran his hand over your stomach, before he grabbed at your hip tightly.

You arched your back, rolling your hips as you ground yourself against him. Everywhere he touched felt warm — and his hands were everywhere. He ran his hands along your sides, gripped at your hips hard enough to leave bruises, and cupped your breasts with both hands. There was no part of you that felt untouched by him. 

Javier drew his knees up behind you, causing you to lean forward. He tangled his fingers in your hair, cradling the back of your head as he drew you back to him so he could kiss you. His tongue slipped past your lips, dragging over your tongue as he kissed you so thoroughly. He started moving beneath you, his cock barely leaving you before his hips met yours once more. 

Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks on his skin. His hand smoothed up your back, clinging to you as you moved together. “Close.” You warned him, your inner walls already starting to flutter around him. 

“I know, baby. Let go.” Javier urged you as you worked his hand in between your bodies, his fingers seeking out that little bundle of nerves that would set you careening over the edge. Your body tensed, pleasure rocketing through you as he pressed into you — filling you up completely as you came apart around him. Your name was on his tongue as you felt him spill within you seconds later. 

You let yourself sink forward, resting against his chest as you basked in the pure pleasure of your release. You had missed that. The moment where it felt like the two of you were existing in the same space at the same time. 

“I love you.” You whispered, brushing your nose against his throat, smiling at the way he was running his hand up and down the length of your back. 

“I love you too.” Javier murmured, squeezing your hip. “Nancy might be worth her prices.”

You snorted. “Calm down Richard Gere. Are we going to talk therapy while we bathe?” You pulled back, grinning at him. 

The look of adoration you found in his eyes made your heart ache. “I’ve missed seeing you smile like that.” He lifted his hand and cupped your cheek. 

You leaned into his touch. “We’re not out of the woods yet, Javi. Sadly, I don’t think we can fuck my depression away. Though I’m not opposed to trying.” 

“We can give it a valiant effort.” Javier’s lips curved upwards at the corners. “I want us to get better.”

“Me too.” You sighed, tracing your fingertips over his chest. Reluctantly you rose up on your knees, letting his cock slip out of you so you could readjust yourself, laying back against his chest. 

Javier kissed your shoulder as he curled his arms around your waist. “What’s going in your journal today?” He questioned, nuzzling your shoulder.

“Josie drew me about a dozen pictures while she was with Monica this afternoon.” You pursed your lips as you thought. “There was a breakthrough on a case at work, which was nice. I actually felt pretty excited about that.”

He splashed you playfully. 

“Easy!” You laughed. “I’m getting there. And finally, convincing you to finally watch Pretty Woman with me is my last entry for the day.”

“That’s all?”

“Oh, am I supposed to put sex in my journal?” You tilted your head to grin back at him. 

“That’s my proof that I’m doing my homework.” He teased. 

“Don’t worry, babe. You’re in the journal.” You promised him. 

You knew you weren’t going to suddenly overcome this. But for the first time in weeks you actually did feel good. Maybe it was talking to Nancy, maybe it was finally figuring out why things between you and Javier had been strained. 

But that didn’t change the fact that an unwelcome visitor would still crawl into your mind tonight and try to convince you that you weren’t enough for your family. Tomorrow you would still catch yourself floundering under the weight of your worries. There was no magic switch that made it go away. You had to keep fighting it until one day it wasn’t lurking around the corners of your mind. 

These were the good moments that reminded you of what you were fighting for.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Making cookies at the Nova Aeria Clock Tower

When it comes to being creative with cookies, Addie and Ginger are always up for the challenge! Since rebranding and opening shop at the Nova Aeria, things have been going super well for them. They went from a small cookie stand in their neighborhood to a traveling cart and now they have a full fledged bakery in the city.

Today the bakery was busy because of the monthly cookie contest, which has been a huge hit since it started earlier this year. Like I said, Addie and Ginger like to think outside the box when it comes to unique cookie recipes!

A lot has changed since I last saw them at the camp. At the time they were rebranding, taking time off to reevaluate things after realizing that the direction they were going in wasn't working out. By reinventing themselves and starting over from scratch, they were able to make something that aligned more with their dreams. It wasn't easy, but they took the plunge, knowing when to bail out when they realized that they deserved better.

The Nova Aeria Clock Tower feels like it exists in a space of its own. I don't know, it just gives off this starry, otherworldly vibe. I can also see why Addie felt that this was the perfect place to settle down in. She always has a knack for being intuitive like that. The moment she stepped inside, she knew that it was meant to be. And that's not something Addie says lightly so if she's somewhat certain about anything, we gotta keep that in mind.

For now, it's just Addie and Ginger running the bakery, though now they're in the process of building a team. Bree and Lyn were gonna start training soon but they're needed at the funeral parlor where Lyn's brother Ry works as undertaker turned temporary director.

Bree and Lyn have always been Addie and Ginger's biggest supporters so it was a matter of time before they joined the team. They're creative bakers too - Bree's baking videos are always relaxing to watch and Lyn likes experimenting will all kinds of complicated recipes. Problem is that their families aren't as supportive of their baking aspirations so it's a case of them waiting for the right opportunity to take a plunge and pursue their dreams.

So now they're one step closer! Except they can't quite take the step yet as poor Ry's overwhelmed since the funeral parlor director and consultant are out of commission. Lyn says it's not as bad as it sounds - basically, the director and consultant occasionally work with an adventurer's guild so they sometimes tag along on a mission with their investigator friend. Rarely they both go together and for that particular mission, things went horribly wrong, as Lyn puts it. The director, who Lyn describes as a bit of an eccentric prankster who seems too cheerful despite her family's business, should be out of the hospital tomorrow so she'll probably be back in a week or so. As for the consultant and investigator - an old fashioned gentleman and a headstrong young adventurer - it'll be a while before they're back up on their feet again, but at least they're recovering from their injuries.

Lyn always has stories relating to the funeral parlor - mainly about the director being weird and causing trouble. She seems like an interesting person, someone full of dark humor and can be a bit much, but a nice person overall. Lyn's family and hers go way back, and she has been supportive of Lyn and Bree while Ry seems to be on the fence. The consultant and investigator sound like cool people too - Lyn doesn't know them too well but they've always been nice to him. Bree says the consultant's super knowledgable about a lot of things so he always has a lot of interesting things to say.

The funeral parlor business was never for him so Lyn only really works there if they're short handed. Bree is basically the on call undertaker - probably the only one in the world as far as I know - though she mostly does cleaning and sometimes clerical stuff. To keep things lively, she bakes treats for the staff, which they appreciate, especially the director. She also learned a bunch of new recipes from the consultant, who also taught her a bunch of obscure and valuable baking techniques that most professionals have never heard of.

Since it's the monthly cookie contest, Ry gave Lyn and Bree the day off. So Ginger felt that this was the perfect opportunity to start their training - by being contestants! Normally Bree bakes something at least once a week but since the funeral parlor situation, she hasn't baked in almost a month, which is almost sacrilege to her. Of course, she was totally up for the challenge of coming up with a brand new recipe on the spot.

I was surprised at the turnout of the contest - thirty contestants! The bakery was packed so Addie had to break everyone up in groups. I didn't participate in the contest myself while Fauna and Mira did. Daisy Jane and I were behind the scenes, helping out contestants and cleaning equipment. It was cool seeing the kitchen as well as get some sneak peeks behind upcoming recipes.

It was fun watching everyone come up with all kinds of cookies. Everyone had such a unique spin on their creations so trying over thirty kinds of cookies didn't feel like a hassle. There were sweet cookies, savory cookies, and a lot of in between. Even things that you wouldn't think would go in a cookie came out well. Addie and Ginger sure know how to get everyone creative!

Fauna made a passionfruit matcha mochi cookie that screams tropical vibes. It was a recipe she came up with on the spot so it took a couple trial batches to get things going. The matcha cookie dough texture is like a mix between shortbread and chocolate chip, resulting in a flaky, buttery, and rich flavor. Then she bakes the cookies for a bit while making the passionfruit mochi. Before the cookies finish baking, she tops them off with the mochi, like putting chocolate chips on top, and put it back in the oven for a minute or two. That way, the cookies are crisp on the outside and soft on the inside while the mochi is chewy and flavorful.

Mira came up with colorful chocolate cookies with a black sesame custard filling. They taste as good as they look, especially with the rainbow sprinkles. The cookie is made from a mix of coconut and almond flour, resulting in a nutty flavor that goes really well with the custard and chocolate. The flavor's not overly sweet thanks to the black sesame and a touch of flaky rock salt, which really elevates a dessert. I can totally see this cookie being served at a rainbow themed party for its looks alone.

Lyn went experimental with a super duper chocolate cookie. Basically a super rich brownie in the form of a cookie that's made from three different types of chocolate. To balance out all that chocolate, he topped them off with roasted pecans flavored with lime and chilis. He got the inspiration from hot chocolate with chilis and the flavors go surprisingly well together. I mean, along with the rich chocolate ganache drizzled on top, without the spicy pecans, the chocolate would've been way too much. Only Lyn can pull off something as indulgent as that!

Bree's creation is like a fusion of a focaccia and quiche in the form of a cookie. The dough is similar to focaccia, except with some tweaks here and there to make it more cookie like. The topping is a cream cheese custard with a blend of herbs, an unusual mix of sweet and savory flavors that balance each other super well. How she came up with this idea, I don't know. To add a bit of a personal touch, she decorated the cookies as various constellations. Creativity never ceases to amaze me!

There were so many cookies, more than enough to take home and give to friends. Bree and Lyn plan to stop by the hospital and funeral parlor on the way home to give away some of the sweet treats. I did a little baking myself with Addie and Ginger before they closed up and that was pretty chill. It's so good to see them thriving and I can't wait to come back, especially now that Bree and Lyn will be joining them soon.

While waiting for the cookies to cool, Ginger took us on a tour around the Nova Aeria. At first glance, the clock tower looks like a fancy shopping center. It kinda is but also isn't, if that makes sense. There are shops and cafes but there's also places like an archive building, an observation deck, the clock tower itself, a couple of HQs - it's basically the center of a lot of things. Even those who spend their days at the Nova Aeria for years - generations even - still don't know the full extent of the clock tower and what exactly its purpose is.

Being the curious cat she is, Ginger wants to learn more about the Nova Aeria. Lyn wants to know more about the place as well. Both say the consultant seems to have some knowledge about it so he seems like a good starting point. The director might know something too as her family has connections to the clock tower so that's another thing to look into. Hearing them talk about the clock tower's mysteries has made me curious too.

What stories does the Nova Aeria hold? That's another thing to look forward to on future visits.

[intricate-oeuvre]

On how to be deadly || Geralt of Rivia || Epilogue

Word count: 1.5k+

Summary: Axelia is Witcher experiment herself and has gone through same harsh Trials as Geralt, but she wasn’t so lucky with the outcome. Her vision didn’t become better. Therefore, she was rendered blind in the end. And because of that, she solely uses her Witcher senses to make her ways. Only potions can give her false sense of sight for limited time.Somewhere along the way she meets the Rivian. Who’s interested to know how she’s been killing monsters and hasn’t been killed herself yet.

Warnings: nothing really, just angsty ending.

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND GOING THROUGH THIS JOURNEY WITH ME! FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THANK YOU! SATY SAFE! I LOVE YOU, PEOPLE OF THE VOID!!!

part I || part II || part III || part IV || part V || part VI || part VII || part VIII || part IX || part X || part XI || part XII || part XIII | Epilogue

*Ten years later*

Axelia was sitting on a horse. She rarely trusted such beasts but here she was. Her horse standing tall on the hill and looking downwards on the dirt road that was somewhere down in the fields on the tall grass. Wind was bellowing softly and she didn’t have a care in the world. The hood of her cloak sat snuggly on her head, but let couple of white strands of white hair move in the wind along her face.

Axelia took a deep breath, filling her lings with fresh air. Change from all the blood she has smelled in her life. From all the blood she has spilled. Getting a hold of the reigns of the white horse, she was riding, Axelia let him walk in a place and then move on her left to make downhill on the other side, back where she had come from. But she stopped abruptly. When with corner of her eye she caught movement, somewhere down the road.

With furrowed brows she stared at them. Her white eyes unblinking, patiently waiting when the wind will bring the scent, noise, anything really.

First, she heard the sound of hooves. A horse. For a second, Axelia’s heartbeat sky-rocketed.

Her horse feeling her uneasiness neighed and took a step back, making her pull on the reigns to stead him.

“I’m fine…” Axelia whispered to herself and leaned forwards to pet the neck of the horse.

The smell of leather, cedar and moss, soon invaded her nostrils. With small gasp, she sat up straighter and blinked couple of times, trying to rid her mind of unwanted memories. Sweet, unwanted memories.

Suddenly she was reminded how she had left. With no questions asked, with no explanations.

“I told you, I am leaving.” Axelia said grabbing her stuff and tucking everything in the bag.

“Oh…” Jaskier tilted his head at her, sitting on her bed, watching how she swiftly moved along the room.

“Geralt won’t be happy.” He whispered at her, one finger pointed out at her. Axelia paused at that for a second.

“Don’t guilt trip me into staying, Jaskier.” Axelia mumbled, her eyes suddenly looking at the floor.

“I would never make you stay in a place that would make you unhappy.” Jaskier said, trying to cheer her up.

“I’ve been unhappy for far too long; I am not sure that I am capable of ever feeling happy again.” Axelia said, small sniffle escaping her as she looked up.

“Hey..” Jaskier said softly, getting up from the bed, ready to comfort her.

“No. Stay where you are.” She pointed at him. Pleading with her eyes.

“Like your gonna stop me from hugging you.” Jaskier mumbled in disagreement and still got up and walked closer to her.

“Come here.” He wrapped his hands around her, pulling her close. Something in girl clicked and she desperately wrapped her hands around his back, her hands bunch up the fabric of his doublet on the back.

“It can’t go downhill forever, at some point things will start going up.” Jaskier whispered in her hair.

Axelia nodded, her eyes brimming with tears as she clutched at him. With small huff, she pushed herself away from him. She sent Jaskier a small smile, thankful for his encouragements.

“There’s that smile.” He chuckled lightly, wiping away stray tears from her cheeks.

“Should have bribed those mages and sorceresses to have you as my soulmate, Jask.” Axelia whispered and turned around to grab her bag.

“What?” Jaskier glanced at her, small blush covering top of his cheeks.

One last time drying her cheeks, Axelia walked towards the door, and peered outside.

“I’ll see you later.” Axelia bowed her head and slipped out of the room.

Being quick on her steps, she made her way towards the courtyards, where the horse was awaiting her. And, of course, who else could be walking right towards her?

“Where do you think you are going?” Geralt had grabbed her forearm to stop her. Which he just did, spinning her around.

“I am leaving. I assumed that I told you that much already.” Axelia was referring to the talk they had in bath.

“Why can’t you stop running?” Geralt looked down at her, his eyes catching on the tears that still hadn’t fully fried on her cheeks.

“I though the chase was half the fun.” Axelia tried to smile as she pulled her hand out of his grasp, her voice breaking in the end.

“Fun?” Geralt couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Well, sometimes you have to lose something to gain something else.” Axelia took another step away from him.

“I think Jaskier is looking for you.” Axelia stared to walk backwards, trying to get away.

“So, you’re just going to leave then?” Geralt stood there, not following her, his hands at his sides.

Axelia stopped her retreat. Tilted her head to the side. She was thinking on how merciless she should be now. Throwing her shyness aside, she quickly made her way towards Geralt. She wrapped her hands around him, taking one last lungful of his sent, taking one last memory of his hands around her.

“Close your eyes.” Axelia whispered in his chest. Geralt looked down at her, odd expression on his features.

“Close your eyes.” Axelia sent him a small smile as she leaned in and planted a small peck on his jaw. Letting out disapproving grunt, he did as told. Axelia slipped her hands away from him, but her breath still lingered near his lips.

“Of course, I am leaving, Geralt.” Axelia whispered, her lips lightly brushing against his, before she swiftly stepped away and made dash down the hall.

And she run.

Like she had done so many times before.

She left him. Just like he had left her in Kear Morhen all those years ago.

Now she was staring down the hill, her senses not believe who she was seeing there. Her eyes momentarily swiped across the horizon and the setting sun, that was bathing everything around her in gold.

He was alone. Reminding her how alone she was herself.

Fates had done it again.

In a heartbeat, she pulled on the reigns and made her horse trot down to the dirt road.

At start she was sure that he hadn’t noticed her, or just didn’t pay any heed to her. At the same time, she was careful not to get too close, just if she needed to get away.

Geralt stopped when he saw her. Her crossbow leaded and aimed at him. He didn’t say anything. Just tilted his head at her. And as Axelia with her own horse stood couple of feet away from him, she stayed silent too.

As Geralt ordered his horse to get closer, Axelia ordered hers to step away.

“You’re still alive it seems.” Axelia said in steady voice as her eyes roamed across his body.

“And you still seem to be deadly as ever.” Geralt noted as she putted away the crossbow at her saddle. They both stayed quiet again. Feeling as if they didn’t know each other anymore.

“Still killing monsters?” Axelia straightened and rounded his horse, now stopping on his other side.

“Hmm.” He grunted, his eyes still sharp, catching every movement of hers.

“You?” He finally asked as Axelia had nodded along.

“Diasporic mercenary work.” She replied.

“Hope, pays well.” Geralt pondered, his eyes taking her in.

“Enough.” Axelia answered, feeling slightly uneasy under his watchful gaze. Another Hmm from him.

“After all these years, Fates still steer us around each other.” Geralt mused, his eyes moving away from her.

“They do. And do I hate it.” Axelia slightly pulled on the reigns to steer her horse away, but the animal had different thoughts and didn’t move a bit. Axelia sighed. Then she raised her eyes at Geralt.

“Send my word to Jaskier and Ciri.” She bowed her head and finally made her horse move.

“Can’t do it yourself?” Geralt called after her, making her look over her shoulder.

“I hate you; do you know that?” She said it with passion, because somewhere deep down she truly did hate him. But Fates were strong and she said with smile on her face.

“And I still care for you.” Geralt said, similar smile gracing his face.

“You might need to give up on that dream.” Axelia advised, even if her heart was still soaring at his words.

“Never.” He grinned at her. Axelia gave him a glance and scoffed half-heartedly.

“You waste your time.” Axelia whispered to herself, with shake of her head.

“Run, princess.” Geralt called behind her, making his horse trot after her. With giddy laugh, similar to a happy child, Axelia made her horse gallop into the field, getting away from him. He didn’t follow long, he soon stopped and just looked at her. Axelia made her horse turn around. Now dozens of feet between them.

“Stay as deadly as you are, Axelia.” Geralt called across the field, his hand landing on his heart. Small sign that she still owned it. Even if it was only partly.

She laughed out loud, her laugh ringing through the field.

“Close your eyes!” She called at him. Making him chuckle, but he did it none the less.

“My fool.” Axelia whispered fondly to herself as she turned back around and galloped away in the fields. Far away from him.

Cheating the Fates once again.

~~~~~

part I || part II || part III || part IV || part V || part VI || part VII || part VIII || part IX || part X || part XI || part XII || part XIII | Epilogue

tags:

@boiled-onionrings @fandomwithnolifesblog @901seconds @kingniazx @shesakillerkween @your-dreams-are-strong @stitchattacks @ayamenimthiriel @stormfire6 @mr-illegal-king @stretchkingblog97 @mikariell95 @geralt-of-motherfucking-rivia @martian-m @republicansithlord @notso-fetch @lizliz3107 @godlydolans @arsaky-lou @eternallyvenus @le-reina-asesina @alwayshave-faith @writingmi @staringmoony @kenai731 @holychic @dramaticturnaway @ihopeyousteponarosepetal @seouldesire @runs-with-sciss0rs @yes-captainstark @fandomhell97 @newtdisneywho @ekaymnslvs @deansbbyblog @hopplessdreamer @dejewskoo @sleepy-bunnie @strangerliaa @puffedchoco @mommableaubear  @secretsthathauntus @sailor-moons-butt @sageandberries-png @star017 @rahdaleigh @introvertedmouse @weirdowithnobeardo @katkit73 @whitewolfandthefox @fire-in-her-veinz @sweet-like-silence​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @soulslaststand​

a/n: pardon, if Tumblr doesn't let me tag you

[bungod-hearth]

I adore your swap AU & had some questions if that is OK. 1: Did Luz have any trouble with Eda's parents in letting her move in? 2: Is she still friends & got a similar relationship to canon with Gus & Willow? 3: What's her Palisman, Owlbert or does she have an original? 4: does she have a portal to the human world or are both she & Belos looking for that? 5: Does she have any Glyph jewelry, or still utilize mostly paper & her staff? 6: Would she defeat then befriend those trying to arrest her XD

Hey there!! I'm glad you liked it so much you got curious and I'm more than happy to answer!💕💕

I'll put everything under the cut cause it's long as fuck sorry

1- that's something I'm actually working through! Since we still don't know basically anything about Eda's family and how they reacted after the curse (except for Lilith obviously), Eda kind of runs away from home after getting cursed, looking for this mysterious lonely witch who knows a different way to use magic, but I'm still not sure if she actually comes back home to tell her parents she has a mentor that could help her or if she leaves that duty to Lilith after assuring her she's gonna be okay with Luz (because Lilith will absolutely be the first to look for and also find Eda). I'm mostly imagining her parents as lively- cause both Eda and Lily have quite the temper even if Lily tries to hide it- but still somewhat attached to the rules and traditions given by the Emperor, and having your most talented child cursed in a way that hinders her magic in a world where magic is literally everything... yikes. But the idea of her finding someone who could actually help her even if not through a cure for the curse could be something easy to accept all things considered, despite living far from them. This part is still a work in progress, but maybe we'll get more info on the Clawthorne parents next season!

2- Willow and Gus are definitely still Luz best friends and they got to know each other in a very similar manner as in canon! Luz still found her way into Hexside when she got on the Boiling Isles and they all went to school together. Same goes for Amity, Bosha, Skaara, Viney etc..., but in particular the relationship with Amity takes longer to develop also cause I’m a sucker for slowburn

3- Owlbert is still Eda's palisman and she'll get him while under Luz's tutelage! Luz instead has her own staff, but I'm deciding on the palisman itself cause there's several options:

no Palisman, only magical staff that's a bit weaker than others due to that, because Luz still doesn't feel like she deserves it as a "real" witch/doesn't have such a connection with the Isles like others born there/didn't felt particularly drawn to any creature and decided to wait. But she gets her Palisman as well later, influenced by Eda: a snowy owl, an ashy-faced owl, or a burrowing owl. Snowy Owl -> mostly bc fitting Azura's white aesthetic Ashy Faced Owl -> I think the most well known owl species of the Dominican Republic, with its peculiar gray colored face Burrowing Owl -> have you seen these guys they're damn adorable and tinyyyyyy- (also another species found in the Dominican Republic actually)

A black cat Palisman, since they're the most common and stereotypical symbol for witches and it would totally be in character for Luz to go "uehuehe kitty". Also because of her hoodie if yall want to count that.

A black dog/hound, one of the goddess Hecate sacred animals, the one representing loyalty obviously and the emotive part of magic and energy. In general I think dogs fit Luz well tho.

Some... mystical or mythological creature of some kind? Cause Luz realizes she can go hogwild with her palisman and thus frees her imagination.

Otter. With a dark side ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

4- the portal to the human world got lost in some way after Luz arrived in the Boiling Isles! That's why she's stranded there and hasn't seen her mom in more than 25 years :) I don't have the details yet since, again, we have so little information on the portal itself! Why in canon Eda's the one who has it? Was it in her parents possession or she found it in the Night Market or something? Where does it come from originally?? Hell if we know. This obviously becomes a bit of a problem for my au cause it influences how Luz arrived in the Isles in the first place. Could it be a random human treasures smuggler who accidentally brought her there? Did the Emperor/Emperor's Coven had it and things got out of hand? Or maybe the Clawthorne, or even the Blight family, got it? The only thing I'm sure of is that yes, both Luz and Belos are actively looking for it, for different reasons of course, and that hypothetically in the au story it will jump up again, and there will be drama and angst.

5- Luz definitely upgraded her glyph craft!! She experimented and honed both glyphs and skills through the years, finding new glyphs, different combinations, variations and applications, and is now super prepared, enough to keep up with the Emperor's coven squads that try to capture her- and Amity. She kind of adapts to the situation so her equipment isn't every day 100% the same, but the casting methods are similar: carved jewelry and accessories, embroidered fabrics, runestones, she even made her own (mono use) stickers! Naturally, these objects aren't infinitely durable and using them consumes them physically and energetically, but depending on the material and size they vary in durability and power. Though, the trusted notepad and pencil are always there in some pocket, along with some already-drawn papers for emergencies. She also got a couple of tattoos that include glyphs, one of which is a light spell, obviously, but it's a more risky way of casting since it uses her own physical energy, so the glyphs themselves are small. Both Gus and Willow got one as well! and Amity too but it's technically a secret

6- oh you know she will lmao I mean, she's not Steven Universe, but she is observant and a good person, and understands that sometimes certain situations, events, upbringing and generally education cough Emperor propaganda cough bring people to do bad stuff. This won't stop her from smacking to the ground and eventually punch if she runs out of glyphs whoever tries to hurt her or her loved ones. If they show regret and/or understand what they're doing is wrong, changing their ways, she might concede her forgiveness, but otherwise they're gonna eat the dust. I think she knows every member of Amity's squad by name tho?? And she kinda has fun escaping law, so the fights can go like "Hey Steve, I heard you're a dad now! Congrats dude!! If you want I can make you explode a little so you can stay home and play with the baby beast!" or "Wait, you guys don't even have dental?? You should have told me, I would have aimed lower!"

With Amity is a whole other thing, the romantic tension between them is so thick the rest of the team feels like they're intruding something every time for f sake

Whew, I think I answered everything? Thank you for taking interest in this little thing of mine! I also have answered another couple of asks about the au before, you can to check out the toh swap au tag on my blog if you want!

[nootnewtnute]

Tom Cullen/Nick Andros x OC - Saviors

TW: Mention of rape

Word Count: 1730

Another punch sent you to the ground. One more and you would probably black out, and that was real bad.

“Feeling a bit sleepy after that one, huh?” The guy laughed. “That won’t be a problem, darling.”

“Fuck you,” was your reply. This really was going to be your fate. Taken by a disgusting man for things you didn’t want to think about.

“Well, go right ahead, if you want to.” He grabbed you by hour shirt and pulled you back up, ready to punch you again. That’s when a shot rang out, and blood went flying onto you. You gasped and stumbled back. You quickly looked up to see two men standing about 50 feet away, with bikes. You quickly picked up your own gun.

“Hey, missus!” The bigger guys said. “Are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah…” You replied.

“That guy was bothering you, wasn’t he?” The guy began walking toward you, and you backed up out of fear. You had no idea what kind of person this guy was. The big guy stopped. “What’s wrong, missus? Did I scare you?” Slowly, you nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. My name is Tom Cullen. I’m developmentally disabled. I have trouble reading social cues, which is why I did not know you were scared. I don’t want to hurt you. My friend back there is the one who got rid of the bad guy.” Tom gestured to the guy back at the bikes. “He’s a nice guy, too. I don’t know his name, though, because he can’t talk, and I can’t read his notes. Maybe you can help?” You weighed your options. Could you really trust these guys? You thought you could; Tom had mentioned he was mentally disabled, and you could tell he wasn’t lying. He genuinely seemed like he wanted to help.

“Sure.” Tom began walking back to his friend

“My friend doesn’t talk at all. Did I mention that? I think he’s deaf, too. He tried to do some hand gestures to talk to me, but I didn’t understand them. Is that what sign language is?”

“Yeah, it is.” The good think was you knew sign language. You would have to try it.

“She’s ok, mister!” Tom said as the two of you approached his friend. The guy gave a thumbs up to Tom, then turned to you and handed you a note. It said ‘Nick Andros. I’m deaf.’ So, he definitely must have attempted to sign to Tom. You handed the note back and signed Nice to meet you, Nick.

Nick’s face lit up, and he smiled and signed You know sign language?

Yeah, my mother was deaf, so I learned.

“Are you guys talking?” Tom asked.

“Yeah,” You replied.

“What’s his name? Did he tell you?” Tom asked in excitement.

“His name is Nick.”

“Nick… I like that! Nick, Nick, Nick,” Tom said. That made Nick smile again. “Thanks, missus. What’s your name, you haven’t told us yet!”

“(Y/N),” You said.

“Do you want to join our group, (Y/N)? Having another person around would be soooo cool!” Tom asked.

“I mean, if you guys don’t mind me joining…” Tom nodded enthusiastically, and you turned to Nick. Well, what do you think? Mind if I tag along with you guys?

Not a problem, Nick signed back.

“I’m just gonna go over to that stream and clean up a bit first, if that’s ok,” You both say and sign. “I’m not in the best conditions right now, obviously.” The two guys nodded, so you went off and got cleaned up. You were really happy that you had actually found some people who weren’t bad; the last guy what the first living person you had encountered since Captain Trips killed everyone else, and obviously he hadn’t been so good. You wouldn’t have to worry so much about being on your own now. You were finally part of a group.

When you finished up, you felt a little bit better. You had finally gotten all the blood off (yours and the other guys) and had assessed your injuries; a black eye and a couple of bruises from the punches.

Feeling better? Nick signed when you walked back, and you nodded.

“So, this may be a really stupid question, but are you two going to Nebraska?” You said and signed. Both men looked at you in shock when you said that. “So, I’ll take that as a yes. I’m assuming that means you’ve been dreaming of the old lady, too.”

“Mother Abigail!” Tom said. “Laws, yes, we both have. We’re gonna go see her.”

“This is crazy, isn’t it? All of us having the same dream?”

It is, but it would be crazier if only one of us was having it. Nick said.

“So, how much farther do we have to go to get there?” You asked.

I’m guessing about 200 miles. So, not too far Nick joked, and you laughed.

“Yeah, definitely not far at all.”

“Wanna use my bike, (Y/N)? I don’t mind walking beside you guys, really I don’t!” Tom offered.

“I wouldn’t want to make you do that, Tom,” You say. “Although I appreciate the offer.”

You can ride on the back of my bike, Nick signed. Both of us can fit on mine.

Are you sure? You ask.

Not a problem.

“What’s he saying?” Tom asked.

“He offered to let me ride on the back of his bike. We can both fit, so might as well.”

We can stop in the next town and try and find a bike for you, Nick said, and you nodded. You walked over and got on the back of the bike. There wasn’t much room, so you were leaning against Nick’s back. Ready? Nick asked, and you gave him the thumbs up. Then, the three of you were off.

You made it to the next town half an hour later, and lucky for you, you were able to find a bike, and some new supplies (the bad guy had ruined all the supplies you had before). It was almost night by the time you got stuff, so the three of you only rode for a little while longer, then set up camp. All of you ate canned beans for dinner.

“(Y/N), where are you from?” Tom asked as you ate.

“Missouri… what about you?”

“I’m from Kansas,” Tom said, and Nick signed Arkansas. “Nick and I met each other in Kansas, and then we teamed up to go to Mother Abigail!” Tom said. “Then we encountered one other girl, but she was crazy. She tried to shoot us! So, we left that town, and then we found you here!”

“Sounds like you two had quite the adventure,” You say. The three of you continued to talk, and you learned about the two of them. The obviously had very similar experiences as you with Captain Trips; everyone but them got sick, and they were left on their own. Then each of them, like you, had the dreams of the old lady in the cornfield, and decided to go after her. Now here you were, sitting in the middle of the road eating canned food, on your way to a supposedly supernatural woman.

After a while, Tom decided to go to bed, as he was quite tired. You and Nick decided to as well; you would have a long day of biking tomorrow, and you wanted to be well rested. However, you couldn’t stop thinking about the events of the day. The past few weeks, really. So much had happened, and it felt like forever since life before Captain Trips. Eventually, you got out of your sleeping bag and sat back down by the fire Nick had started earlier. It was almost out, but the small amount of flames left provided a little bit of light.

You were deep in thought when Nick suddenly sat down next to you. You looked over at him, and he smiled a bit, then signed Can’t sleep?

Nope, you replied. Too much to think about.

Agreed. The two of you sat there for a moment. All of this is pretty crazy, wouldn’t you say?

Crazy is an understatement, you say, and both of you laugh a bit. So much has changed for so many these past few weeks, it feels like it’s been an entire lifetime. And there’s still so much that could possibly happen. I mean, we still have so far to travel, and then we’re going to meet this Mother Abigail, if she exists… then what?

Nick shrugged. Who knows what happens after? If Mother Abigail IS real, I’m imagine it’ll be something good.

I sure hope so. So much bad has happened, we need something good to happen. You looked up at Nick. That guy that was trying to hurt me earlier… he wasn’t the first guy who tried. That was the third guy. I was able to stop the first two on my own, but the third guy… he really almost had me. He was going to rape me if you hadn’t intervened. So… thank you for what you did.

I’m glad I could help. I wasn’t just going to let him hurt you. You leaned over and rested your head on Nick’s shoulder, and he put his arm around you. As scared as you were for the future, being around nice people for the first time in weeks felt very comforting. The two of you sat there for a while bit, then Nick turned to you with a smile. So, Tom is quite a character, wouldn’t you say?

You laughed. Yes, he is. He’s nice, though. It’s his kindness that we need in a world like this. Nick agreed. People like Tom were the ones the world needed if it wanted to survive. He would give everyone (however many there may be) the hope and strength to get through… well, whatever was going to happen. It was the same with Nick; he had shown his kindness and willingness to do the right thing for others the first moment you had encountered each other. Right as you had begun to lose hope about the people left, and the way the world was going, two kind saviors had come in to change everything. It was those kinds saviors you were sure were going to bring the world back to its former greatness.