#good lord thats a lot of tags

[jadedharleys]

And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love. You are the player. > Wake up. ==>

[synark25]

colon three.

+ non oc icons

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

The War of the Ninepenny Kings

"So they called it, though I never saw a king, nor earned a penny. It was a war, though. That it was."

Another little Golden Company diorama! The Ninepenny Kings is an interesting conflict in the story - we already have the Great Offscreen War trope covered by Robert's Rebellion, and then Ninepenny Kings is the greater, offscreener, war. I always thought it's analogue was WW2, or at least the popular perception of it, as "the last great war" where the Westerosi greatest generation were united against an obvious Other (no pun intended).

The centrepiece is Barristan leading his triumphant charge against Maelys. Even though its described as very much a lone charge, I thought it would be fun to include some notables - Lord Reyne, the Red Lion, and a young Blackfish. I had a devil of a time with all three actually - Lord Reyne was going to be Tywin, I'd started the Blackfish as, well, black, until I realised this was before he took that title, and only after finishing Barristan I realised he wasn't yet a Kingsguard.

On the opposing side we have Myles Toyne as Maelys' bannerman, and a cool Dothraki looking guy. Steve Dothraki.

The basing was largely inspired by HotD's portrayal of the stepstones, I loved that brutal messy drawn-out slog through the sand.

[sbev-e]

808 be upon ye

[ask19thcentury-doctorgilbert]

"I was always more of a quiet kid, greatly preferring my books and toys, and the company of those that I was familiar with. I suppose that's why Fritz and I got on well -- We were of the same temperament and had more than a couple shared interests. Being a part of such an unconventional family hasn't always been easy... Especially now that I'm more grown and am more aware of tensions brought about by politics and the like. But I wouldn't change it for the world."

Portrait descriptions under the cut!!

Portrait 1: The Berlin Family, painted in more recent times.

(L to R Back) Otto (Order of St. John), Niklot (Reiner's son, Neubrandenburg), Konrad (Berlin), Gilbert (Prussia), Rahela (Gilbert's wife, Romania), Reiner (Brandenburg), Ilse (Potsdam), Johanna (Koenigsberg), (L to R Front) Ludwig (German Empire), Sztefa (Silesia) - Gilbert and Rahela were wed in 1866, after Prince Karl of Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen came to the Romanian throne as King Carol I of Romania. The marriage is purely political, but the two maintain a cordial and warm friendship. much to Erzsi's dismay - Niklot is Reiner's son, born from a human lover he had before the 30 Years War. Father and son were only recently reunited in the 1820s. - Sztefa is Gilbert's adopted daughter, taken in during the First Silesian war, and raised in part by Frederick II. Served in the volunteer corps during the Napoleonic era disguised as a man. Is Ludwig's scary lesbian older sister.

Portrait 2: The Vienna family, painted c. 1830s.

(L to R Back) Erzsebet (Hungary), Sztefa, Anneliese (Vienna), Roderich (Austria) (L to R Front) Ludwig, Gilbert - Roderich may be bonded to Austria, but his sister Anneliese, who embodies the capital, takes more of a leading role when it comes to government matters.

[kitnapz]

i dont think any other show has had an impact on me as huge as awae. that show consumed my entire life for months and months when i was 15 and nothing has changed its so so dear to me

[steampoweredlovemachine]

let's give it up for f/os that you will probably never be able to define your relationship with but are an ultimate source of comfort anyways

[hauntedbestie]

the desire to start a podcast but the knowledge that i don't have anything to talk about worth listening to right now

[comicalgrievance]

phone sex w nanami kento

ft. fem!reader, nanami kento

pls do not interact if you are a minor!! xx

tagging my fave pookies: @navi-n0 @milkpup

content: phone sex, mutual masturbation, use of daddy (this is just absolutely horny + feral)

okay so hear me out, he's away on business... it's been a few days and you are both just so tired and pent up... he calls you late one night and you can just hear his heavy breathing, and the sound of clothes shuffling around.

"mmmm princess i miss you so fucking much" and now you can very clearly hear him stroking his cock over the phone to you... "would you be daddy's good little princess and touch yourself for me??? i wanna hear you" oh my GOD

so of course being the bestest girl you are, you start touching yourself... and nanami is just gripping himself so tight hearing you whine for him

"fuck kento, i miss your cock so much" and he is just stroking even harder, trying to make sure he keeps the phone up to his ear so he doesnt miss a SINGLE word or noise you make

"mmm princess be a good girl and cum for me... thats right, cum for me and imagine my cock inside you" oh LORD, the rasp in his voice alone has you finishing for him... and he knows it too by the way you moaned and whimpered his name

"fuck thats right princess, i'm gonna fucking cum for you now... i'm gonna send you a picture right after this so you can think about the mess you should be cleaning up" oh my WORD, he cums all over the bed in his hotel room with a lot of swearing and lot of huffing

after exchanging i love yous and goodnights, he gets off the phone and makes sure to send you the pic of the mess he made for you... you of course then call him back for round two

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF NOVEMBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Bad Boy || @i-am-baechu🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Yoongi has been best friends with Namjoon since he was seven. He knew his little sister was always off limits but Yoongi never followed the rules. (we love it when siblings are supportive of them crushes. we gotta give respect to yoongi for not pursuing his crush to not risk his friendship with namjoon. but also props to namjoon for not getting pissed off when they finally got together though.)

Partner Privileges || @7ndipity💕✅💯

↳ (imma need me a man to give me partner privileges like this yoongi right here. like my man yoongi is a whole ass softie. i love it.)

Sharp Teeth || @dearly-somber💕💔🔄💯💯💯

↳ Jungkook—a love struck puppy pining for Y/N’s affection. Y/N—an obvious, hard-headed tsundere too thick to realize a shifter likes her. What could go wrong? (i have a HUUUUUUUUGE soft spot for fantasy fics (mainly werewolf fics and stuff, and i solely blame my 13 year old self watching twilight LOL). like if you are writing a werewofl/hybrid/shifter fic just know that is going to be automatically be in my reading list. when i came across this one, oh lord have mercy. read all of them in one sitting PLUS its still ongoing to. imma have a field day with this one i know it.)

Finding Your Boyfriend Sleeping In Your Hyperfeminine Pink Room || @rrjkive💕✅

↳ (theres no summary, but we just gotta love soft jungkook you know. like with the live of him just sleeping on live is freaking adorable and you can literally picture this big ass man with THAT HELLO KITTY THATS IN HIS LIVING ROOM and the man is just hugging that sht to death while sleeping.)

Five More Minutes || @7ndipity💕✅

↳ Anon Req: "Having to stand up in the morning with yoongi but not wanting to. cuddling and trying to stay in bed as long as possible instead" (i love soft yoongi, in this world, alternative world, ANY WORLD LIKE SOFT YOONGI IS SUPERIOR.)

Was It Better? || @gyukookswhore🔞✅

↳ Jungkook has been acting weird lately in bed, but your not complaining about it or are you ? (you know how it was literally no nut november for fics, well, lets just say that half of these fics on this list is literally smut. that says a lot. aka i clearly did not get the memo since i read mostly smut LOL. but this fic, is so detailed that i could read it again ngl.)

Wonderstruck || @jinkookspencil💕✅

↳ jungkook convinced his fearful girlfriend to try out a rollercoaster at the funfair… (honestly the ask that was sent to op was perfect. like stop this sht is fcking cute. got me giggling in bed kicking my feet and sht.)

Animal Farm || @joonberriess🔞✅

↳ (there was no summary, but holy jesus, this was literally a wild ride. like without reading the tags and tw, but the title alone, i thought this was going to be a lil cute fic about farming you know. BUT NO THIS WAS NOT ABOUT FARMING WHAT SO EVER BUT THIS WAS A WILD WILD RIDE. i say give it a read if you are like me who forgets to read the tags and tw (which is prob not a good thing) but its a suprise everytime i read something.)

Biker!Kook || @lustfuldevils💕✅💯

↳ (there was no summary exactly, but lets just say that im a sucker for biker!kook + reader. whether the reader is like innocent type or just a regular...person??? like personality wise you know. i dont know if that made any sense, but you know what im talking about..hopefully)

Every Little Thing || @7ndipity💔✅💯

↳ When you overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you’ve been lately, you decide to take a step back from your friendship to give him space. But your sudden absence goes far from unnoticed by him. (i like to torture myself by reading angst that makes me feel sad and sht. honeslty love this one + im pretty sure theres like 3-4 fics from this op on this list. hi just wanted to say that i love your writing.)

Forest Bride || @flowerwrites06🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ The business transaction of a marriage between two previous warring clans takes an unexpected turn. (i love how yoongi automatically became protective over oc while she was slightly closed off due to their past experience. like all hail yoongi.)

Lost & Found || @theharrowing💕💔✅

↳ Taehyung just wants to be left alone. Too bad you need a place to stay. (i honestly love fics where its told from the members pov. like it gives us a chance to read about what they would do and say (even if its fiction you know) like it gives us a different pov then other fics where its mainly through a third-person pov or like the readers pov. love this)

My Alpha || @btsbrat🔞✅💯

↳ you discover that the soon to be alpha, Jungkook, is your destined mate. However, your story takes an unexpected turn when Jungkook rejects the mate bond. (i honestly thought that this fic wouldve been longer, you know just to prolong the rejection and what jk would do, but this pace is also good too. i hope that op makes a longer version where it involves like the in between you know! not that op has to make a longer ver, i also love this ver too!)

Of Storms and Vampires || @wishesunderthestars💕💔🔄💯

↳ During the worst storm you have witnessed in your life, a bat crashes on your window. When you bring it inside your cottage to take care of it, you realize it isn't simply a bat but a baby vampire. Your past has come back to haunt you because Jungkook's sire is no one else but Min Yoongi, who you had left behind when you disappeared five years ago. (this is still currently ongoing but i havent read many vampire!bts fics BUT lets just say, bats be cute and sht but deadly. cant wait to read the future chapters. also this is first chapter isnt rushed or anything so it def caught my reading eye for sure. went at a nice pace, not too fast, not too slow which i love)

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[angelltheninth]

Omg priest!Matt is so hot! Thank you for the content love! Could you do a forced breeding blurb with him? If not thats fine.

Isn't he hot! Hot and toxic!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, church sex, breeding kink, pregnancy mention, clit stimulation, priest!Matt

A/N: I watched Warrior Nun after coming back so I only have more inspiation.

It felt like its been a while since you've had Matt's cock inside of you when you know full well it was just a few days ago. You couldn't help yourself from wanting him, a man of God, and he seemed all too happy to forgive your sins. You were holding onto one of the church benches, right over where you sit, directly at the front.

"What's the matter? Devil got your tongue?" Matt chuckled as his cock dragged across your inner walls, hitting your spot like no fingers or toy could, "Such a sinful body, craving pleasure in the house of the Lord. The way you're shamesly throwing your whole being against me shows me how much you indulge in lust."

"I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry." You weren't really talking to Him now, you were talking to your priest. The one who washed away all your sins with his cum every time he came, and he was about to do it again.

"What are you sorry for? Not for being a little whore. If that was the case you'd be here every day, trying to repent." Every day, taking Matt's cock every day. Against your better judgement, in His judgement, you threw your head back and came from his cock. "A whore's pussy as well. Don't worry, once I let me cum out in it, it will be clean of sin."

Your eyes snapped open from their half-lidded gaze. "I-Inside?!" He never came inside, not without a condom on. But this time, you were on your knees begging before you could think much of it, "But you can't! It's not allowed!"

"Sex is allowed. As long as you make babies." You tried to wiggle your hips from his cock but his hands held you firm, eliciting a scared whimper from you. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you should you become pregnant. I'll take care of you after I pump you full of my seed, He will surely bless us with a kid or two, my reward for saving a slut like you from sin."

"Can't! I'm not ready!" You gripped the bench edge, mouth open in protest but pussy open in invitation.

"You seem more then ready with how hard your hole is sucking my in. I'm gonna give you lots, so make sure to be a good girl and take it all." Even agsinst your strugguling body the cum flooding inside you made your head light, your hips rolling back, clit throbbing against Matt's fingers as you aceepted him, all of him, now and in the future. Perhaps until death do you apart.

[yuujisuku]

POV: you're making out with your best friend (and crush) AND HOLY SHIT HE KISSES YOU BACK??

tags: fem reader. reader is clumsy and energetic. she basically talks in all caps irl. best friends to lovers, reader and yuuji are both oblivious to each others feelings, reader is obsessed with yuuji bc duh we all are, suggestive, but no nsfw, but reader is still obsessed with plushies and immature things even tho she's basically an adult now😭 reader and yuuji are like attached to the hip, reader and yuuji are touch starved, if i cuddle with my best friend is that love - something reader has probably googled!! reader and yuuji are in college but reader practically lives in his dorm im not sorry

You were spending time with Yuuji in his dorm, resting your head on his stomach while he was lounging down on his pillow, reading a manga. His dorm is a bit more empty than yours. He barely seems to have any possessions, but you're used to it since you don't think Yuuji would need anything else but his necessities. Your dorm is a bit more packed with trinkets than his was! Yuuji would love to spend time with you in your room, but your bed was full of plushies. Your guy barely had any room to stretch his legs. 

You were mindlessly scrolling through Tiktok which was full of cat videos and the occasional edits of the characters in your favorite kdramas. You were bored out of your mind, you turned your head to look back at Yuuji who was still flipping through the pages of his manga while biting his lower lip. 

"Yuu!!" you're startling him by poking his cheek. 

"Mmm, I'm almost done with this chapter, what do you want?" 

"I'm bored again!" 

Yuuji closed his manga and gave you a sneaky grin, which only you know what it meant, since the entirety of this friendship is just you two irritating each other for sport. Yuuji reached his hand to rest on the side of your stomach. 

"Hehe!! you want me to tickle you until you pass out?" 

You barely had any time to protest, lord have mercy on your soul. You tried to snatch Yuuji's hand away but your obnoxious (and lovable) friend was much stronger than you. 

"Yuu!! NOOOO!! THATS NOT FAIR-AAAAAHAHAHAHA!!"

You don't even try to stop the tickle monster from attacking you! Not like you can, Yuuji is just much stronger than you by a lot. Getting him to stop crushing you when he's laying on top of you, or to unlock your hands because his was attached to yours in a vice grip and you just wanted to relieve your sweaty hands from his was nearly if not already impossible. 

(You know Yuuji does this because he's afraid to lose you in the streets of Japan, since you're kind of short! But damn, can this man cut you some slack?)

You were laughing so hard from the fluttery sensation of him tickling you, that there were tears in your eyes, and your face was getting all red, he was pretty much cutting all the air out of you. You couldn't breathe. Death by laughing didn't sound too cash money right now. (It would be really embarrassing if everyone that ended up to your funeral found out about it.)

You tapped Yuuji's thigh to signal you were about to suffocate, and he immediately released his hands that were attacking the sides of your tummy, where you're most ticklish. You catch your breath back slowly but you're still coughing-laughing at the same time. You take a glance at Yuuji and this man just has a smug smile on his face.

“You're so evil!!” you shout at him while pushing him back on the bed, straddling him while he's throwing his head back and laughing like a maniac. You punch his shoulders in frustration, but it just feels like a mosquito bite to him. 

“Stooop!! I'm not bad! I'm the bestest friend you've ever-OW!” 

You stopped punching his shoulders with your puny fists and this time going for his balls. Since he's wearing sweatpants this time, it's easier for you. 

“Hey! That's not nice! Oh! Wait, that kind of feels good though…” 

You abruptly stop assaulting your pink haired friend and look up at him in disgust, a snarl plastered on your face. “Yuu, that's so gross!” 

He apologizes for it with an adorable pout on his face. You get up off of him and start heading for the door. 

“Hey! Where are you going?” 

“I literally told you I was bored like 50 times, Yuu. I'm going to find something to do.” 

“Nooooo, don't leave me! We could watch a movie if you want? Or one of those korean dramas you like? I don't want to be alone, pleaaaaase!!” 

You whip your head towards him and groan like you're in pain because he has his hands clasped together and he's giving you the cutest pout plus those adorable doe eyes that you can't resist because Yuuji KNOWS it gets you to do whatever he wants at any point in time. (Double homicide.)  

“Fine! But I pick!” 

“Deal!”

You literally can't pay attention for shit right now. 

You usually rest your legs on Yuuji's lap, or he rests his head on your shoulder when you're watching a movie, drama, show or anime. But this time you couldn't escape Yuuji's malevolent tendencies when he forces you to sit on his lap. And he holds your waist with his strong arms too, locking you in place so you can't move or run. Thank heavens you don't have to pee right now. 

You were whiny about it at first, but now it feels kinda nice. Honestly you just can't pay attention because you've harbored some weird feelings for Yuuji for a while. You've distracted yourself or repressed it, because you don't think Yuuji sees you like anything but a clingy lil sis! You're as touch starved as Yuuji is, maybe even more? But it doesn't bother him! You would do things to test his boundaries. Like sit next to him and push up the sleeve of his shirt so you can munch on his biceps (which always looked delicious by the way) Or bite his cheek when he's in the middle of rambling about something you weren't even listening to! Just smiling and nodding. It's a bit difficult for you to stop yourself from indulging in your.. urges, but you can't help yourself! You told yourself you just get a bit aggressive when Yuuji is just existing.

“Ay! Stop wiggling. I'm trying to enjoy this scene! I get why you like these men in these dramas! This dude is soo handsome.” 

You don't reply, you didn't even notice you were squirming in his lap? Damn, now you feel kind of embarrassed, your cheeks are warming and your pulse feels like it's picking up rapidly. 

You turn to look at Yuuji, staring at his pretty face. The face you've seen in your wet dreams about him. You would trace your thumb on his cheeks while he pounded into you. While he took you he hit your sweet spot so many times you would end up squirting, feeling his thick cock ramming inside of you was everything you ever wanted, even if you didn't want to admit it. ‘Cus you thought if you did, it would push him away! And you didn't want to scare your beautiful boy. Losing him is your greatest fear.

Hiding your emotions is getting more difficult now.

But right now staring at his plush lips while he just watches the characters on the screen. It feels so tempting to kiss him. You feel yourself involuntarily reaching your hand to trace your thumb on his lips and it immediately steals Yuuji's attention away from the screen. 

“What are you…doing?” Yuuji looks at you, confusion dancing in his eyes and something else. Desire maybe? You didn't really care because you leaned in to snatch your lips with his. And damn it felt so good. He tasted sweet like grape flavored candy. You were going to pull away and apologize because Yuuji didn't seem like he wanted to kiss you back, but after a few seconds he lifted you up to bring you both into a better position, your chest facing his now. You caught a glimpse of the raw desire in his eyes before he smashes your lips against his. 

You grip his sweater before you reach under it and slide your hand over his chest. You didn't think Yuuji liked you back at all. But now he's groping your ass and moving your hips so that you're grinding on his bulge. He's hard. Oh fuck! But it feels good when you're grinding against him. You want to feel him, you want to feel more of him. You wish the both of you were naked. But you didn't think this through and you didn't think you were ready to go past that yet. But kissing Yuuji on this couch is everything you've ever wanted. 

You pull away and a string of saliva is connecting your lips. That was your first kiss with your first love. Now you're just staring into his eyes. You've always thought Yuuji's eyes are a pretty color. You love boys with brown eyes. 

“Yuu.. does that mean you like me?” 

“I always have, but I'm sorry if I got a bit carried away. We don't have to do that yet..” 

“I DON'T MIND!! I WANT YOU!! SO BAD!” 

Yuuji laughs at you being so bold. He taps your ass before he lifts you up in his arms with minimal effort, carrying you back to his dorm. The drama you two were watching was forgotten. 

“We could go back to wrestling for now.” You giggle when his tone sounds suggestive. 

[goatpaste]

I feel like I’m missing something.. what is the eated him incident of 89 I mean I get the premise but I feel like I’m missing like, the first post? I saw the short comic but that’s it and I NEED to know

oh man.. itS YEARS of AU writing iv done its soo fucking indulgent, iv literally been working on this AU since.. good lord April of 2022..

If you wanna go digging (which you can but a warning that theres OLLD ugly art post way back in there lol) its all tagged on my blog under #Pillar Fam

but even then its a lil non chronological

the best i got for that, is forever ago i tried to put the general info in a google doc, but its kinda outdated at this point as well lol

But the general idea for this 'incident' in this AU is simply, Jotaro didnt just kill Dio, Jotaro ate Dio

it stems from a P2 rewrite that ultimately ended up with everyone living for better or worse. Along with Joseph and Suzi having a relationship with Wham. Holly is born under both the Joestar Curse as well as Half Pillar man. Theres a lot to dive into with that, but thats just the bases for the bigger topic of 'Eated Him' which is a silly Nickname to a horrific Jotaro event in my AU lol

Jotaro coming from his half Pillar man Mom, is also part Pillar man. And everything we know of Jotaro and the way he behaves and the fear he had over his own stand he thought to be an evil spirit, all lumped on top of being part 'monster'

Jotaro is afraid of himself because he thinks he is a monster because he came from monsters. From comments from his granny Lisa on how cruel and mounterious his grandfather Kars is. To the way his mother doesn't open up about her own feelings of how she and her family is seen in the eyes of human society (which to her is meant to put on a smile and say nothing wrong in hopes that it can keep everyone happy and not burden anyone with her own sadness)

Then he gets this big scary evil spirit haunting him thats supposes to be from his own soul, and it looks just like his mean, cold and disliked 'monster' of a grandfather kars. Baring Fangs, horns and the works.

Jotaro and his mom in their large house, no husband usually around, or friends who come to visit. Just a large empty monster mansion.

So when it comes to the Dio fight in Egypt and as far as Jotaro knows everyone he cares about is dead or dying and he's back into a corner. Its just

fight or flight, and Jotaro doesn't even know whats happening, and how its so instinctual to him. Something so ancient in him that tells him to destroy Dio absolute.

He kills and eats Dio the way any good Pillar Man would a Vampire.

And Jotaro can never take that back. Jotaro has hurt many people, but always as a human, nothing beyond what any of the others in his new found circle of friends cant do. But this? this is what a monster does. Standing there in the middle of the streets of Cairo, covered in blood that isnt his own, dragging back and the last arm of flesh to his dying grandfather. In his eyes he has become his grandfather.

[nonbinaryaubrey]

pretty muuch everyone in the cast has some minor inconsistencies between their artbook cover artwork, ingame art work, and sprites. (this is INCREDIBLY nitpicky i do not care thaat much.. but still. wanna point it out. also i am DEFINITELY missing things i am not going too in depth here i am soo eepy)

some small examples:

sunny:

in sunny's official artwork, and all of his in game artwork, his vest is completely black, the only time this isnt consistent is in his actual pixel sprite

--

Omori:

he has a preeetty simple design? so his never gets too inconsistent. but at times his sock length are changed.

(socks higher up)

(socks lower than the knees)

--

Kel:

Obviously, DW!Kels shirt changes constantly between artworks. cant even be annoyed at this one that shirt looks like agony to draw, altho his sprite loses the more pastel coloration.. altho i think this is just kind of a consistent thing with the dw sprites, so i wont point it out much with them.

RW Kel doesnt have.. anything suuuper noticeable ?as far as i can tell. but his sprite and actual artwork definitely have.. inconsistencies (skin tone, along with the stripe on his pants)

--

Aubrey:

DW Aubrey doesnt have anything suuper inconsistent i believe? so i wont bring her up. and we have already talked about RW Aubrey. her outfit is. WILLDLY inconsistent between artworks, even in the game itself. (im NOT getting into other official artworks here but . her shoes too i believe tend to not stick too one design)

--

Hero:

for DW Hero, just inconsistencies with the stripe thickness, the collar part of his pajamas, and.. whatever the part near the hands are called being either solid white, solid blue, or striped

for RW Hero.. oh boy. His shirt collar

Official artwork (and tag photos) it looks like this ^

in his talk sprite, its still a vneck but with a white stripe

when he saves you from drowning, it looks like this

even his pixel sprites have inconsistencies between eachother

(normal)

(hospital)

good fucking lord man .!!!

--

Mari:

not too much with her actually!! main thing is. inconsistencies with her having shoes or not. (if u want a bit in non-in game comparisons, some official art has her dw self wearing socks when in game i dont think shes ever shown wearing them?)

--

Basil:

and to end it all off, lets move onto Basil. !!!

(going to point this out first, in a LOT of both RW in DW Basil's actual artwork, he has 2 little tufts of hair at the top of his head, but in both his talk sprites and overworld sprites, its missing)

for DW Basil there is.. 2 things i think?

1: the flower crown. it varies.. a LOT between artwork. kind of obvious.

aaand. 2. his shirt . in most artwork ^ like shown above, it has a rounded tshirt neck. but in one specific artwork, it shows it being a collared shirt with a button

for RW Basil.. i dont think theres much?

kiiind of the same issue as sunny? tho less obvious ig. his shirt is shown as dark green in the official artwork, but as a muuch lighter green in the sprite.

also in his battle sprite, he loses that... little part between the vest and the collar of his shirt? idk what to call it.

i beliiieeeve thats.. it for them all? i think i am missing things apologies .but i dont feel like looking thru the wiki anymore . and i have no space left for imgs pretty much

[hanatagami]

Batfam! Reader x Platonic! Damian Wayne - cuddle sessions

this is probably some wishful out of characterness but i dont really care, i just want some fluffy damian sibling time in my life screw capitalization

and please dont look at the tags i dont know if im doing them right

i also haven’t checked for grammar errors

so im gonna show a damian under some very specific conditions

its gonna take you being a very affectionate person

but also someone who doesn’t tease, or knows when not to cause if you do it even once this is never happening again

its gonna take him being absolutely completely sure you wont tease him, or utter a single word about it to anybody in the house

he also has to be completely sure you won’t say no, like 120% sure you won’t say no

heres what i think thats gotta happen for cuddly sibling damian

first is to show an example of how much you want to crush him with affection but don’t because he wouldn’t like it

the scenario i imagine to start this is a competition between all the wayne siblings

the winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser

you are the fortune winner, damian is the unfortunate loser

well he wouldve been unfortunate if it was anyone else

ignoring all the suggestions from the others that would most certainly piss damian off, you already had your heart set on something

“You gotta let me hug you for an entire minute!”

silence

que jason laughing (just ignore him)

the others get a big smile on their face for multiple reasons i dont feel like getting into

but damian grumbles and reluctantly steps up to you

(dick is in charge of the timer)

you crouch down and proceed to wrap him in what you want to make the best hug in the world

you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to your chest, cradling his head in your arms

you gave a good amount of squeeze, a good comforting amount of squeeze

you don’t think you’d get a chance like this again, damian would never let himself lose again no matter what it takes if you have a good chance of winning

lost in the feeling of finally being able to smother your youngest sibling with affection you didnt really take notice of his reaction

you didnt notice how his body melted into your embrace (though only just a bit)

you didn’t feel how his breath on your neck began to slow down and relax 

or how his eyes began to droop halfway

you were lost in your own little word- and so was he

in fact when dick decided to break you out of your trance, it seems you both had gone passed the promised time without realizing

you had assumed damian was keeping count and would shove you off immediately after it hit the 60 second mark

but he didnt

and by the embarrased look on his face you could see he had MEANT to, but for some reason forgot

you had never seen his composure so broken as jason took the chance to immediately poke fun at him

(tho damian didn’t know that jason was also a secretive fan of hugs from you)

it was a good time 10/10 would hug again

lets skip a bit

but just know theres been a lot of thinking while damian has been on his  lonesome

he liked your hug a lot more then he thought he would

it was so warm and comforting and he had found himself unconsciously leaning into it

his mother wasn’t an affectionate person, being an assassin didn’t allow such luxuries

bruce wasn’t much better, though he tried to be

and by the time his siblings and him got any kind of close he was already uncomfortable with such affections

he never realized how truly touch starved he was cause at this point in his life he didn’t see why he would indulge in such niceties, it was unpleasant

but it more pleasant then he expected, and he had let his guard down which was a critical mistake in both assassination and vigilantism

but there was an itch he now couldn’t scratch with that mindset

he’d been going back and forth with himself for days about asking you to hug him again

(cause lord knows he wasn’t asking anyone else)

and after a particularly stressful day, people at school just bugging the hell out of him, and not being allowed to go out on patrol that night cause bruce noticed his stress

and damian could only assume bruce thought he’d take it out on criminals

which damian was too proud to admit was possible

So imagine your surprise when Damian just bursts into your room, slams the door shut, and turns towards you with his eyes squeezed shut and his arms out

now this is what i meant about teasing and joking, a teasing “no” or any other funny comment and he’ll be humiliated and outta there faster then he was in and he will never come back

its a good thing you knew that right?

you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you approached him and gently wrapped your arms around him

you could tell he was grateful you didn’t say anything

you’d have to guess he has been wanting this for a minute cause it didn’t take him long to completely snuggle up into you

You hadn’t realized he was so craving of affection, and you hazard a guess he hadn’t known either

it was a couple minutes before he broke away from you

when he looked up and saw your warm smile he turned completely red and sped out the door

how cute!

and now to your greatest hopes, it had started becoming a common occurrence!

your youngest brother is now actively seeking out your affection and its an incredible feeling

after the first couple times you had actually gotten him to speak to you during or after

and then a couple times after that, you had gotten him to stop speeding out of your room

he came the most at night, after dinner when everyone would be too busy working or in their room to notice his venture to yours

it was now common for you to silently hug him with one arm with him sat with you in your chair while doing homework or studying for college

or when you play something he’ll sit in front of you and let you rest your head on his

one of your favorite memories is him falling asleep on your lap on accident and him being so embarrassed when he woke up he pretended to still be asleep

you could feel the heat in his face so you decided to do him a favor and pretend you hadn’t noticed and instead moved him to your bed

though you couldn’t help the small kiss you planted on his forehead, knowing he couldn’t bring it up without outing himself

he’ll have to live with it

and you were surprised to find out he was the kind of brother who would sneak into your room at night

now you never caught the reason why, but you at least knew he didn’t want you to know

he came in and laid next to you when you were “sleeping” and left before you “woke up”

you assumed he was facing some inner demons when he did this, and wanted the small comfort but didn’t want the embarrassment of waking you up and asking you

you and alfred now have a hidden code, not that alfred knows (he probably does but you didnt tell him, but you were sure him and bruce had noticed and got a good idea as to what was happening)

well its not much of a code but when alfred asks for you or damian for one thing or another, you can send him something along the lines of “hey, ive got damian helping me with something” and alfred seems to get it and leaves you two alone for now

im not gonna say how, you and damian dont even know he does, but bruce has pictures

which is crazy cause you’ve never taken one, even while damian is asleep, cause this isn’t something your ruining

but bruce has pictures and he keeps them safe and secure for only him and alfred to see

seeing damian be so close to you makes him so happy

not that he’d say, him and damian are alike in that way

but alfred knows though

he always knows

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 21

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I’m bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 9.4k

a/n: Whoa haven't seen you guys since last year... LOL. This is very angst filled, sadly its our last vacation chapter. Back to reality but Javier and Andrea try some new... stuff... this chapter 🍑. If it isn't your thing thats okay!

But (no pun intended) on a less sexy note, Andrea meets some family this chapter.

Sorry for the wait was busy this month having a winter break fling (that's so like me) but back to reality.

Thank you for being so patient with me always.

This is for @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

The two of you leave the studio shortly after Edmond threatened to wring Javier’s neck for the first date joke, well it is our first date. Before that though you were honestly  eager to get out of the place, you needed him back in the hotel room, you needed to thank him with your mouth, with the warmth pooling on the tiny thong under your skirt. While Javi explains to Edmond that you are indeed the girl he had vented about when they first met, usually this would have made you a blushing mess but you were practically squirming in the stool. Your earrings catching the light casting a red reflection against the wall. Your eyes follow the light around the room as the two spoke, your mind drifting in places that could only be described as filthy. Edmond jokes that it had all worked out in the end, it took you a moment to catch up with their jokes. You had disassociated but Javier picked up on it and ushered the two of you out of the studio and back out into the Louisiana heat. 

“I have dinner reservations so behave.” He whispers before grabbing your hand in a sweet possessive hold. Your brows quirk slightly before leaning into him completely. He seemed to be hyper focused on getting the two of you to the proper place at the right time because his eyes went all squinted while he walked you through the busy sidewalks. 

“I am behaving.” You were, sure, maybe it was a bit rude of you to look around the room aimlessly while Javier caught up with his old pal, but you truly didn't mean to. There was something about girls like you, girls who craved to be wanted–once you get a taste–insatiable is the only word to describe you. So insatiable that you couldnt give a fuck about a dinner date with Javier Peña, it was so like you. So like you to feel so overwhelmed with love, a feeling so foreign, so strong that now you can't think of anything else but the thought of him inside of you. Good lord you were soaking. 

His cheeks were still red, either from tears or the high sun. Regardless he looks down at you with a teasing smirk that quickly hardens and turns into a disapproving head shake. “I saw you out of the corner of my eye, querida. Wiggling around in that stool.” He says in hush tones, you break eye contact in slight embarrassment. You know that annoys him, when you shy away because you feel his body stiffen. Poor Javi, you think. One day he’ll understand you fully, he knows you better than anyone else  but he still isn't used to your self-destructive tendencies of self-manipulation and constantly wondering whether he truly likes you. And despite today being the greatest testament of his devotion for you there was still that part of you that was a girl without a father. How humiliating? You also know he is never truly upset with you, even when he stands up straight and huffs a breath, it's always followed by silence, his space to try to figure you out.

There's a lot to learn, six years apart is too much for anyone. You've become four different people in these six years. 

By the time the two of you entered the warmly lit restaurant you've given your brain some time to think of meeting your grandmother tomorrow, now thats a thought to have you quit squirming. The desire you felt so heavily only half an hour before left in an instant at the thought of what's to come tomorrow. As you settle in your seat the thought of your father not being alive crosses your mind, instinctively you touch the bee earrings softly.

You feel Javi watching you with intent, a small frown on his lips as he adjusts his belt buckle while he sits. If your stomach wasn't doing turns from impending doom you would have made a big dick joke, you suddenly didn’t have it in you. You quit touching the earrings and let out a shaky breath before grabbing the menu. 

“What’s wrong Andrea?” He asks, stern, almost like it's a statement. Like nothing is not an answer he’ll accept. He knows something is wrong. 

“I’m really nervous for tomorrow.” You admit without any tooth pulling. Uncrossing your legs beneath the table, Javi nods firmly he knew how to react to you when you admitted things like this. There's nothing you hated more than someone screwing their brows in concern and pity, he never did that. He just nodded, solid, dependable and able to listen. He doesn't respond so you continue. Brushing a piece of hair from your face you sip the water given. “I also don’t want this weekend to end. I don’t want to go back. I especially don’t want to go back if tomorrow goes bad, I don’t have it in me to explain that to my mother.” There it was, that other part. The sheer embarrassment that could be awaiting you, the possibility of being humiliated by your paternal family and coming home to a mother that will look at your tear stained cheeks and say, I told you so. 

Javi clenches his jaw at the slight shake in your voice, and it’s so like him. He puts his large hand palm up at the small table between you two. Your heart grows in your chest and without hesitation you place your own small hand over his. Manicured nails circling the dry lines there, his thumb rises and wedges between two fingers tickling you a spot you never knew tickled. You choke out a giggle and dug your nails into his palm, he winces in fake pain. Ow, he grumbles. You take his hand entirely and lifts it to your face, pressing a kiss to his palm. He smiles, his dimples deepening and his eyes crinkling. “Sorry.” You say and kiss his palm again, “Sorry for attacking you with my nails even though you’ve made me the happiest girl in the world today.” 

He shakes his head in a shy little act, wow, you wanted to jump his bones again. “It’s okay I like it when you’re rough.”

“Oh shut up.” You laugh, pressing his palm to your cheek before placing it back down on the table. “And I’m sorry for ruining the mood with my sulking.” 

 “Don’t apologize to me.” Javier furrowed his brow in disapproval, “If tomorrow doesn’t go the way you plan I’ll extend our weekend, give you time to recover here. Don’t care if it’ll be obvious to everyone that we’re together, we’ll figure it out.”

Your lips quirk in a satisfied smile, you’ll take it. You were minutes away from suggesting the two of you stay in New Orleans until the damn wedding Saturday. The two of you were so in love it was hard to be logical. Hiding your face a smidge as you lift the menu to cover your crimson cheeks. “Okay, that's fine with me.” 

“God I wish I knew she was that mean to you–I’m like regretting being her friend a little bit.” You were slurping down pasta with a frown, hearing stories from high school about Lorraine. The more he uncovered, the more you regret giving her grace. Every new piece of information was followed with Javier’s attempt to excuse it. You suppose the both of you have some things to learn, you wanted to tell him that her actions and his faults were not in the slightest bit comparable. Like;

On valentine's day she got drunk and purposefully poured wine on my favorite sweater in front of all my friends. But she was mad because I skipped sunday mass with her family the week before. 

Or,

I was really upset with her cheating, but she blamed it on the time I called you pretty in front of her. I guess to her that was emotionally cheating.

You sat in front of him with your mouth agape, or you cursed under your breath before shutting yourself up with carbs. “None of that is normal, you shouldn't make excuses for that sort of behavior. I doubt she does when she complains about you to other people.” You say while dabbing the corners of your lips free of marinara. 

He laughs and nods in agreement, “You're right, I want to be the bigger person though. No need to be upset on my behalf querida.”

The 2nd glass of wine gets to you slightly as you roll your eyes aggressively, feeling awfully protective of your boyfriend. You remember which sweater it was, it was the white knitted one he wore to his last christmas at home, he would wear that thing to every holiday. “Whatever, god forbid I feel defensive over my man.” You whisper and bring your glass to your tinted lips. Javier’s lips quirk at its corners, you know he loved hearing that come from your mouth. You noticed it just thirty minutes prior when you told the waiter, my boyfriend would like the same. You picked up on the way he shifted in his seat when you called him baby. For the past 10 minutes you had been slipping the pet names slowly and scattered, he was getting worked up. Look who needs to behave now. 

“Hmm.” He huffs, annoyed, turned on, grumpy and everything else.

You bite back a tipsy smile, slipping your pointed heel up his calf slowly, until the outsole skated his inner thigh. He shakes his head and looks to you through a half lidded gaze. “Relax.” His voice deep and striking, loud enough for the other patrons to hear. You nod in agreement and attempt to move your foot back down but before you could make the effort his hand falls between his spread legs and holds your delicate foot in place on his lap. Your breath hitches in your throat, your leg pulled so still your skirt rides up. Saving yourself from the breeze, your left leg tightens to cover the soaked fabric now exposed. 

With his right hand holding your heeled foot and his left hand on the table, he grabs his glass and continues at his drink. Your breath is hitched in your throat, you feel his stare. His eyes glued to your chest, your nipples pebbled under the fabric. You don’t listen to his demand, incorrigibly you lean forward releasing some tension with the press of your legs and the hip movement required for you to move closer. “Why are you being so mean?” 

His eyes narrow, “Mean? A weekend getaway, museum date and those pretty earrings.” He teases and you nearly laugh, nearly, truthfully you were so turned on you couldn’t care to play these games. You’ve had years to do that. You survey the restaurant, there had only been about ten tables and each paired with a couple or a group of men in suits. Your eyes dart to the family bathroom, Javier follows your line of sight with a smirk. No families, you note. Less guilt for what you’re about to do. 

You drop your heel from his hold and wipe the corners of your mouth, “Well, you’ve spoiled me Javi.” You shrug, adjusting your small cardigan to cover your pointed nipples. He laughs a hearty chuckle. Your face falls to straight seriousness, hair readjusted. His nostrils flare at your hardened look.

“Rotten.” 

Your eyes shrink with a slight hint of petulance. Like a little girl not getting her way, absolutely not. Eyes scanning the room once more, “Well if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to take care of myself in the bathroom.” You huff before rising to your feet. Feeling the table to your right shooting a glance at your figure. With a strut of false confidence, your knees were buckling with fear he won’t follow you and just think you’re upset with him. It’s the last message you want to get across after he poured his aching soul to you at the gallery.

Javier watches you walk to the bathroom and close the door behind you. Well he watches to make sure no one else was watching because the pencil skirt you decided to wear curved perfectly below your ass, making it apparent to everyone that your behind was a tight little thing. Rolling his tongue against his cheek he waits a few seconds before pinching the bridge of his nose. 

He knows you, he knows you’ve been pent up since the gallery, since he put those earrings on you. How could he not know, you practically screwed your brows in bliss every time he took a look at you. Truthfully on their walk to the restaurant he was still reeling from the entire first date thing, he had never lost his composure like that—to cry in front of someone— to cry in front of you. He’d be a lying dog if it didn’t scare the living shit out of him. So scared that he nearly thought about just saying fuck it and getting down on one knee and proposing to you with some fucking earrings. 

He knew it before. He knows it now that what you too have is forever, beyond time and circumstance, there was no way you two could live a life with other people. What a discovery to make on a first date. 

Anyway those feelings of sheer terror and love, they’re the same in his head, were quickly replaced with every tiny possessive nickname you let leave your red bitten lips. He was fully hard by the time you decided to play footsie with him, he wondered if you felt the strain against his pants through your heels. He decided he was going to fuck you into the mattress when the two of you got back to the hotel but he supposes you had different plans. 

His eyes glued to his glass he picks it up and downs it. “Fuck it.” He murmurs before wiping his mustache, adjusting his shirt and heading for a straight bee line for the bathroom. 

You smile softly at him through the mirror, “I was starting to think you didn’t get the memo.” Javi nods, his mind set. Silent and brooding behind you. Your confidence seemed to have faded with each passing minute he contemplated whether to follow you or not. “I was afraid you thought I was really upset-Oh Javi.” You shriek the second he tosses your skirt over your ass. Instinctually bending a bit over the sink. Dropping to his knees, his dirty thoughts win as he slightly sinks his teeth into your tan behind. You giggle at the absurdity of it all, but he doesn’t care what it would look like to  anyone else. He was a man utterly in love with his girlfriend, and with how soft her ass was. 

Javier kisses each cheek of hers and laces each kiss with a bite then a firm tug. Kneading and kisses, his large palms have finally found something that he didn’t completely engulf. Why was it so sexy when his hand covered your entire breast yet even sexier that your ass finally dwarfs him? He’s never been a man above worship, above religion, still he had never believed in a god so clear, so real until he came home and had you. Was it normal to be this enthralled by a partner? Was it just the honeymoon? He really couldn't care anymore about those questions because god, Andrea, he murmurs like a prayer.  

With your skirt piled at your hips, the tiny little red thong was fair game for his needy kisses. His teeth graze the string that just barely covered the one part of you that’s untouched, you buck as his fingers spread you open, the loose string falling to the side to expose you there. “Anyone ever touch you here?” He asks with his left hand holding you open, and his right thumb skimming so close. He knows the answer. He wants to hear it. You screw your eyes shut, a small whimper escapes your parted lip. Your heels slip on the tile, he lets up his left hand to hold you steady. 

Tossing your hair over one shoulder and attempting to look back at him you whisper, “Never—I want to try but-”

But I’m not sure I want that sort of first time to be in a restaurant bathroom. You think.

He knows exactly what you mean, he knows how delicate this part of sex could be, he knew it's a lot more than a heat of the moment decision. He’d never, not in a place like this. Though, he had other ideas, “Another time, can I taste you here at least.” He taps at your cunt and you eagerly reach behind and slide your panties to the side. Javi smiles when he’s met with his girlfriend’s swollen cunt just for him. Good lord, he did not want to think about having to sneak around again. For the two of you to be limited beyond your control the second you step home. He wondered why he couldn’t just rent a home out here just for the two of you, just until he leaves. Will they be reduced once again to just twice a week, all pent up and hand-covering mouth sex in his bed. He tried not to think, tried. 

One thing the two of you have grown fond of is him eating you out from behind. This position was just like the second time, in his room on memorial day. You look over your shoulder, the cardigan slipped low to expose the tan shoulder of yours. With lidded eyes you stare into Javier’s soul as you reach your hand between his face and your bent form. With a shy blush your delicate fingers run across the seam of your cunt and slowly up to skim the tight hole that's been the object of Javier’s deepest fantasies. 

“You can taste here too.” You quip, you weren’t sure if people even did that. You could be making a fool out of yourself but you knew after his fingers got close to your asshole, you felt a new pit in your belly. Javier’s eyes raised and he suddenly felt like a kid in a candy store. Never in a million years did he ever imagine a world where you agreed to something like this. He mumbles deeply, Jesus Christ. You didn’t have to tell him twice. 

He plunged his face into your cunt first, quicker and less teasing this time, they were in a public bathroom for crying out loud. His licks and sucks are wet and aggressive. His head shaking in between. You drop your head into your chest and the slow build of release. If he kept up this pace you’ll be writhing in climax in thirty more seconds. You're not sure you were ready for the moment he proceeds to eat you out just there. For a moment you wonder if this is really something people do during sex, you’ve had girl friends who have tried anal but none of them ever mentioned their boyfriends eating them out there. You wonder if you're the first people to ever do this- or it’ll feel good at all. You surely weren’t ready, the second his heavy tongue slid up to your place untouched, and you weren’t expecting such a feeling.

You shrieked loud enough for the guests to hear. Javier’s heart sank and paused for a second while you covered your mouth.

“I’m sorry-I’m sorry.” 

Javier’s brows tensed, “Is it too much?” He asks lowly, looking up at the back of your head. You screw your eyes shut, and nod.

“No-I just didn’t expect for it to feel so good.” You whisper as if to do damage control for the shriek you let out, with your head dropped in shame you feel his chuckle between your cheeks. Okay, he laughs and continues again. You’re more prepared this time–yeah you two definitely aren't the firsts to discover eating ass. This has got to be popular.

His head moving skillfully, his chin skimming your cunt along with it. Shaking his head and devouring you whole. And oh, it was a feeling so good you were afraid to know what it would feel like if he applied more pressure than a tongue back there. You never saw the appeal in anything to do with anal—suddenly—you suppose it takes the right person. You always told yourself you’d never try any of that unless you were married or something— well close enough. Your knuckles go white gripping the porcelain tops. He parts for a second and spits directly on your ass, parting you to watch it slide down onto your cunt. 

“You like being a dirty girl? Yeah, Andrea?” he gets close again to clean up his mess and good gracious you were close. “Letting me eat your ass like this? Used to think you were so shy—now look at what you’re letting me do to you.” He dives in again, this time reaching his entire body leans with it. His hands gripping the tops of your thighs while he moves from your cunt to your ass and back-and back again. 

Your forehead presses against the mirror and you catch your own eyes for a moment and you’re absolutely disgusted by the sight. Disgusted in the best way possible. You are filthy, you love it—you loved this. You bend further to give him better access to your clit and you’re a goner. Your ears ring and you fall limp but like always he never lets you fall. He’s at his feet again, pressing your knees together. He unbuckles himself and relieves his aching cock from their confinement. You open your mouth to tell him to put it in but he speaks first.  

“I’m gonna come, just let me—fuck.” He grabs himself and fists himself over your bent body. “Let me fuck your thighs really quick—please princesa, let me—” He grits and you bite your lips at the thought. Your heart skips a beat or a few, so many firsts. Why is the thought so enticing?

Okay—please, you murmur and without hesitation he drags his cock between your folds, collecting slip before thrusting. He wipes his eye as an attempt to readjust his blurry mind. The post orgasm clarity will hit him soon, it didn’t matter now he was too pent up to care. He humps you from behind, his length squeezed by your thighs and his tip nudging your overstimulated clit. There was something depraved about the action, being used in this way. Being used and loving the way it feels.

And he’s driving fast, pre-cum spreading at the tops of your thighs. How he made sex so enjoyable was beyond you, all you could do is softly sigh and moan, nearly drooling from your mouth falling open. “Javi please– I-” Perhaps your moans were a bit too loud because his hand snakes up to your mouth, effectively muzzling you. You babble incoherent begs and moans into his dry palm, while his other hand death gripped your hips for stability. It didn’t take many thrusts for you to be coming again, his hand on your hip quickly snaked to hold your thighs tighter against him and with that he finished over the tops of your thighs, painting you perfectly. His own little art piece. 

There’s a ringing silence for a moment as he slips out from behind you. You catch your breath, wiping your tears away. Head heavy, too frazzled to adjust to the situation. Javier just ate your ass out in a restaurant bathroom and fucked your thighs. And you came twice in ten minutes. Jesus take the fucking wheel. 

“I-I’m sorry I’ve never done anything like that before.” You almost expect for those words to come from your mouth but it aches all the same coming from his. You turn around to him, knowing the sight is probably ridiculous, tear stained cheeks, a wrap skirt hiked up your legs and his come spread at the tops of your thighs.

Your eyes soften watching him fumble to tuck himself away. You could see his jaw clenched, you knew when his mind was on overdrive. This is one of those moments. Like he’s drafting ways to apologize to you. 

“I liked it.” You admit in a whisper. 

His brows shoot up and he looks up to you. The color in his face returning, as he fastened his belt. “You did?” 

You blush, your eyes falling to your thighs. “I did, we should try more stuff like that… it was… really hot.” You admit, looking up at him through your brow bone. His nostrils flare and he’s nodding. 

“Okay.” He nods sternly in the same old grumpy Javi way. 

Your lips twist at the silliness of it all. “Okay…” 

“Alright.” He’s still staring at your thighs. 

You giggle, “Jesus christ Javi! Clean me up!”

He jumps in place, “Right sorry.”

It’s safe to say that the two of you were quite full after the whole restaurant debacle. Frankly your last night should’ve been filled with endless love making but Javier could sense your nerves. After tipsy kisses and stumbling into the room the reality began to set in. You struggled to sleep that night, afraid of waking up to a packed room and a car ride to your grandmother's home. He slipped into the shower with you without any advances, you wouldn't mind it all but he reads you, he washes you without lingering touches and only a few kisses. The two of you find a rhythm, drying off, getting into his shirt and some panties. The two of you exchange stories before bed, who knew he was such a softy like you. 

“I’m always nervous before meeting old people.” You admit. Its a stupid quirk of yours but man do the elderly intimidate you. You chose teaching because you knew that dealing with the elderly would be far from that area. “They can be so judgemental and old fashioned, its painful– every conversation.”

Javier strokes his hand against your arm, “You're rambling. It's time for bed baby.”

He was right, you had no need to bring that up, you just really didn't want the day to end. Why is that you were so afraid of the thing you yearned for your entire life?

The morning is quiet and gloomy, it rained the entire night so the sky was all gray clouds with peaking sun. The entire room was packed by the time you sat up to rub your eyes. Your stomach is so uneasy you could only take four bites of the waffles he called in for you, no syrup, just butter and powdered sugar how you like it. He’s quiet too as he folds your clothes. You check out at twelve and load his car again. He kisses your temple before opening the car door for you. You nod a silent thanks before you settle into the car seat. Head leaned against the window. Reaching into the dash board for the map, finger tracing until it stops at the road circled labeled, Andrea’s Grandma, you smile to yourself thinking about Javier at his desk circling and routing a way to her grandmother's home the night before their trip. 

With fear of rejection you fiddle with the bee earrings in your ears, grounding yourself with the reminder of Javier even when he's right next to you.

The home was fairly close, only an hour away from the hotel. Javi smokes two cigarettes with the low sound of the road below the tires and slow soul music filling the car. It was then when you realized Javier was nervous too. You think of what he told you at La Belle Forme, about his panic attack. It was rare for silence to exist between them not like this. You kiss his knuckles, a few kisses, you suppose you found solace in comforting him. 

When the car slowed down you weren't expecting to be approached with large estates with rolling grass and bald cypress trees casting down like curtains. When Lorena called you pictured an elderly woman in a small home, you never envisioned a large white home attached to other small homes. You looked down at the map. 4289 Coventy Court, “Its the small house, the big one is 4287.” You point, it all seemed to be on the same estate though, you'll still have to walk through this strangers beautiful front lawn in order to get to your grandmothers. Javi nods, shutting the car off. Your hands drop to play with the ripped ends of the map. 

His palm comes over to your lap and grabs at your fidgeting hands, his hands always cold and dry and large. “¿Estás segura de que estás lista?” He asks so softly, he did that often, reassuring you in spanish. You inhale deeply, looking at your connected hands and then to the house peeking behind the large trees. You nod. 

And there it is, right In front of you— a physical manifestation of the answers you’ve prayed to hear. Everything you've ever wanted to know. It could split you completely, could kill you, but it could free you. A small part of you hopes it splits your heart in two so that you're prepared for heartache in November at the hands of the DEA. Who knew Javier could hurt you more than your father? When did you give him that power, you suppose it’s when you realized it was love. 

The two of you climb out of the truck and make your way through the cobblestone path, “I’m not going to get shot out here right?” Javi whispers and you cant even itch out a giggle from the coil of nerves in your chest, he doesn’t joke anymore. He trails behind you while you lead the way, like you know where to go— you haven’t had a fucking clue. With every tap of your sneakers on the ground you felt panic rise higher in your throat. 

You could feel Javier behind you, keeping his steps slower than your own. Giving you space you weren’t sure you wanted. You appreciated it nonetheless. Like he was ready to run and get the car if anything hurts you. He’s 3 steps behind you once you close your eyes shut before knocking on the light blue door. Your eyes surveying the plants lining the white porch. “¡entra!” A distant voice calls from beyond the door and its the same voice from the phone. Something in you bursts, your eyes dart to Javier in fit of panic. Fuck it. You open the door to the home. 

The astounding amount of pastels blind you. An entire rolling carpet of white at your feet, Javier holds his arm out before you nervously put your outside shoes inside this museum piece of a home. You saw her too, out of the corner of your eye. Sat in a wheelchair with hair pressed straight down to her hips, with a book in her lap – the sound of birds chirping splitting your ears as you unlace your shoes with shaky hands. Javier seemed to have slipped his shoes in record time because his socked foot took a step inside before he bent down again to grab your shoes and tossed them outside. 

Standing up straight the woman in front of you widens her eyes at the sight of you, her smile splitting her face in two and you arent sure if anyone had ever looked at you with such melancholy before. She was a beautiful woman, well kept from what you can see it seemed like she had a lot of help. For once in your life you feel strong, chin up and nearly smiling. Lorena fully smiles and there it is–You can finally pin point where your bright grin comes from. "Ven aquí! Get over here before I try to walk to you!." She shouts with that same accent you remember over the phone and with that you're padding over to your grandmother. Embracing her for the first time. Receiving kisses to the side of your head, and caresses and you don’t feel sad anymore–or nervous. You sat in front of her and Javier stayed in his lane, quiet and observing. His hand on your while she explained how she found your number. 

“My greatest friend Griselda moved to Laredo about a year ago. I had been pushing the poor woman to look through the phonebook for your name– I didn't know if you had our last name or hers. Whatever I found it and tried calling but your mother– you already know.”

You sure did, the conversation was what you expected it to be. She attempts to understand what your life has been like this whole time. You tell her your mother owned a boutique and that your brother was on his last week of being a bachelor, she teared up at that. You almost forgot she was around when your brother was just two years old, she laughs when explaining his biting problem. Her eyes fall between the two of you a few times, you and Javier and your joined hands. The way his were in your lap and  how your nail grazed the strong tendons of your lovers hands. She kept the questions Andrea central.

Did you end up going to college?

Yes, University of Miami. I’m a middle school teacher.

She laughs and claps her hands together, she tells you taught for thirty six years. Your heart nearly bursts in your chest. 

So are you living at home?

For now, yes. I’m looking to move soon.

Do you like your brother's wife to be?

Oh–yeah. She’s been my close friend since I was in middle school. 

She nods, turning to her left to grab her cup of tea. There had been two cups left out. She let you in on how she kept the place so tidy, her home nurse Ms. Cristina, who worked for her every day. She points to her bird cage at the corner of the living room which shows the only non-tidy part of the house full of bird seeds on the floor, They also take of me. 

“And this–.” She smiled, waving her finger in between you two. “How did you two meet.”

“Oh!” You laugh, Javier cracks a smile. “We-”

“Uh-No. I want to hear his story. Ha estado sentado ahí en completo silencio, habla, hijo.” She cuts you off in the only way elderly people know how, gracefully and silly all at once. Your cheeks burn red. Absolutely intrigued to hear his explanation. His face softens for a moment before he breaks into a deep chuckle. Rubbing his eye in that same nervous tick that he always does. 

“Oh–We were just kids when we met.” He was instantly interrupted by a yelp from your grandmother. 

“¡Ay, por Dios! Qué romántico. So you two have been together since then?” Perhaps it was rude but immediately you and Javier look at each other and let out a cackle in unison. Leaning into his shoulder as you giggle while your grandma sits confused, wondering what was so funny about her question. “What-What’s so funny?” She says with a hint of humor in her own tone.

Javier shakes his head and replies, “It took us close to a decade to get here.” His eyes flash to yours, soft and gleaming. He looks at you like this often—always, but there’s a different look, something close to pride. Truthfully, he was overjoyed to talk about you to someone, especially to someone who by some crazy phone call and last minute trip—is your family. 

Lorena smiles, sipping her tea with a nod. Her eyes floating to something behind you, above your head. You don’t turn to see what has made her eyes misty and youthful for a moment. “Ah.. one of those. I’m familiar, promise you. What is it that you do Javier?”

He straightens up at the question like it shattered the small world he’s created with you. “I’m a DEA agent, I’m assigned in Colombia starting this November.” It was firm, devoid of laughter and pride. Like a soldier being questioned about deployment. Your grandmothers brows screw in sympathy the second he mentions being away, her eyes falling to your own. You tried to be strong but the reminder chips away at your spirit each time. Five months away. Your eyes drop to your knees. 

“Ah… I see.” Softly she points her chin high, a necklace falling out of her cashmere sweater with the movement. She nudges behind you, where her eyes fell previously, you and Javier turn slightly. The image of a man in black and white, eyes light and a stern look. Clad in military attire, and a nose so similar to your own. You into the eyes of your grandfather for the first time. How could you have forgotten? You haven't even asked about him, his name–anything. You notice then that the entire hour you have spent in your grandmother's home you hadn't once thought of your father. Something about the eyes in the photo seared you, What if my fathers dead? “Your grandfather was also named Lucas. He was my high school sweetheart but we broke up after he decided to leave me for the war. Listen, I respect our military but–not for him–absolutely not. He was always leaving, estúpido, estúpido. We split when he was apart, it wasn't very easy to be in contact like it is now. But… I didn't wait, I found someone else but mija… the second he stepped foot on american soil we were married and I was pregnant with your father 3 years later.”

Javier placed his hand on your lower back at some point during her story, thumb softly rubbing into your thin t-shirt. Your eyes threatened to betray you. You know why she chooses to tell you this story, you suppose this sort of thing runs in the family. Leaving and watching the ones who leave. “He died before me, that absolute idiot.” She sniffles and shakes her head. You turn back around, facing her–she had already wiped her tears away. And she does it just like you, palm first and hurried. Who knew the sight of your grandmother crying could fill you with such warmth, you suppose you were never emotional in the same way your mother was. You wondered where it came from, you guess you can say you've got it from your grandmother.

“Oh, I'm so sorry.” You choke on your own words and she waves her hand  in a its alright but it isn't motion. She grabs her teacup once more, her eyes stuck to yours until her brows shoot up in shock.

“Oh–your father. It's so like me to get wrapped up in myself, I’m sure you have a million questions. I can settle your nerves and tell you that he is very much alive.” She laughs, she really was a kookie old lady. “He also knows that you’re here.”

“What?” You and Javier blurt simultaneously, the two of you leaning in on your knees. For a split second your cheeks heat at the thought of Javier being this invested but that completely flies out the window while your grandmother nods with a smile. 

“This is his estate, you think a school teacher could afford all this? His home was the big one right next door. He’s nervous but he is expecting you. I thought I’d give him time to… speak for himself.” She nods and settles her cup down once more. “I’m not trying to kick you out but he’s probably bouncing his knee for the thousandth time over there”

“You’ve gone non-verbal Andrea.” The two of you kissed your grandmother goodbye with promises of a second visit in the next few months, Javier was micro analyzing your every move. How after the bomb was dropped you had frozen in fear and only muttered 4 more words. Her brows furrowed as the two of them approached the back door of her fathers home. Javier knew what this meant, what this all means. He sees what its doing inside of you, your body is rejecting the truth that, A. your father is alive and B. He seems to be doing quite well for himself. Your grandmother gave the two of you instructions like you were on a secret mission. 

Go through the back door

Javi, it's best you wait in the hall. 

He will most likely be sat in his office, first door on your right. 

You just nodded with a knot in your throat. Javier watches you lead the way in silence and it's killing him to know how much this is taking a toll on you already.

You have eaten in on yourself already, absent in the eyes.

 He remembered fathers day being a particularly rough day for you during your summers. How you would call Javier’s house but he’d have to explain that he was on his way out fishing with Chucho. He can't think too hard about all of that, he might crumble himself and he had to be strong, he had to be that for you. You step up and look over your shoulder, nearly tripping–Javier catches you at your elbow and you are trembling. 

“Sorry, I’m trying to catalog all the questions I have.” You chuckle and there isn't a bit of humor behind it, just nerves and all. “His house is way too nice. This door knob looks like pure gold.” You attempt a joke but Javier can't seem to laugh either. And like the brave girl you are, you don't hesitate this time, you twist the doorknob pushing the door open. Ahead of you was a grandiose hallway, white paneled walls with tiny intricate floral designs. 

The door to his office is already in your view, a long ottoman right outside the door like a waiting room. It felt nothing like a home, like a sterile office or a Homes and Gardens spread. Javier selfishly thinks of how their home will look one day, it will never feel this cold, not in the Louisiana heat. He’d settle down with you in Louisiana. He decided this weekend, he’d like to watch you bask in under the cajun sun with a belly. 

The two of you stand side by side in front of a door with no imperfections but a carving of the letter L on the wood. Your brows furrow, “Okay.” You exhale, turning to Javier knowing this is where you part, knowing that whatever goes on behind those doors could hurt you in a way he fears he can never fix. So maybe he’s just as scared, he nods silently and firm. Still putting his act up for your sense of security, he knows you can read right through it, he also knows you love that he does this for you. 

He can see it on your lips, see the 3 words, the words he knows you tried to spill out twice on this trip. He shakes his head and grabs your face in a chaste kiss. Your hands hold at his shoulders as you rise on your tiptoes to return it deeper. He doesn’t let you stall, he steps away. “I’ll be right here.” Javier juts his chin toward the ottoman, and he watches you disappear into the room. 

Sitting down with a strain in his lower back from the drive and his body's reaction to the thought of the ride they have to take once this is all over. Javier leans his head back, his eyes facing the ceiling. Touched with a heavy weight and the lingering thought of maybe one day having one of these moments with his own mother, if she’s out there. He busies himself with an attempt of remembering her face, drawing her in white lights behind his closed eyes that he was too damn scared to open, scared to be present. Scared of not being strong enough for you. Afraid of opening his eyes and seeing a blackhole ready to swallow him whole, engulfing himself in his own grief that he’s shoved down trying to be a man for you. 

He sees your face at first, angled cheeks he first sees you now, a longer face–lips full, a nose with a tiny slope and teeth always threatening to split your lips in a smile. He also sees what you looked like in 1980, rounder cheeks, the face of a shy girl. He remembers your cheeks always being pink. His chest constricts when he pictures that same young face full of tears at fault of his own fears. That's when he makes out his mothers face, eyebrows a light-light brown, so light they always seemed barely there. Her freckle below her eye, her eyes clad with glasses and quirk between her brow. Of disapproval for all things involving their life as a family.

Javier snaps his eyes open at the thought. Straightening up, attempting to now hear what was being said behind the door. His eyes adjust to the bright light of the hall, it really felt like a waiting room. Javier blinks away the floaters.

In front of him is a single picture hung on the wall.

It's an image of your father, he sees the resemblance immediately. But that isn't what catches his eye. Javier's heart drops nauseatingly fast at the sight of two young girls-twins, in the photograph. And in cursive in the far corner,

Best Dad Ever  

He’s up and hugging you before you could take in that this is really happening. The hug is tight, it's unfamiliar, it's strangling and you attempt to hug back to make it feel loving but it just isn't there yet. You want to pinch yourself, you've dreamt up this moment. You hugged your own aching body to sleep countless nights wishing for a hug from your father and now that it’s here, you can't even register the difference between him and a stranger.

He holds your face for a moment with his eyes misty, your chin quivers then. He was a splitting image of your grandfather. Eyes a hazel, his hair shaggy and long. Like he doesn't belong in a home this large, you close your eyes for a moment. Overstimulated with the situation, your father cradles your face for the first time since you were a premature newborn. He even calls you beautiful a few times and you’ve never felt stronger for not melting into a puddle of tears. Perhaps you were just too happy.

It was the happiest moment. 

You sit in front of him and he has a sheet in front of him. You couldn't be bothered talking about yourself again but you do anyway, he leaned in with every small fact. He beams with a laugh when you tell him that little Frankie was expecting a baby and wedding. He claims that these past years he wondered what you were doing with your life, once your eighteenth birthday approached he says he stayed up the entire night wondering what this next step would look like for you. 

“It seems like you've done well for yourself–I'm sorry Andrea, I’m sorry I wasn't there.” You were the only person in tears in the room but you couldn't be bothered to be embarrassed. The tears were only joyful, those sorts came rarely for you. You allowed them to flow without shame. 

It’s okay dad, it's okay. You whisper, “My mom–she says she left because you were–”

“An addict.” He cuts. “I was, I got clean the second she fled with you. I called my mom and she sent me to a rehabilitation facility in New York. It’s where I lived most of my life, where I built my business. Where I met my wife.” He smiles to himself and you smile too. What a privilege it is to be loved by someone else. “She isn't home today,  told her we would be meeting today and she decided to not overwhelm you so she’s out. I hope you don’t mind.”

You reach out for the box of tissues at his desk, dabbing your eyes. “It's okay–I'm sorry that my mom did that– leaving without notice, it-it kills me when I think of it.” You wipe again as more tears fall, god why was it so difficult to talk when crying. You think of the day after your birth often, you think of your father asleep in a hospital chair, you think of him waking up in an empty room. Your heart chips away slowly but then you look at his face again and he looks just as confused.

He straightened up and his jaw clenched. You were to oblivious to notice the change in his demeanor.

“Andrea– I knew she was going to leave– I- I encouraged her to… I was too sick. I wasn't ready then– I waited six years until I had kids.” 

You swear the feeling was akin to being cut by the sharpest blade, sliced slowly down your sternum and the weight of the world on your shoulders. There you are, in front of your father, bleeding out, being drained in front of him. Your head feels light as everything you thought you knew turns on its head. Your eyes fall to your knees, staring into the denim of your pants, trying to register if any of this is real.

What? You whisper. 

“Oh Andrea–Melissa–your mother. She sat in that hospital bed and cried, she begged me to get clean for you, but she didn't know how all of that worked. I had to do it for myself, and I did. I asked her to leave. I wasn’t ready, sweetheart.”

The name stung, you sat there, you were an open wound in front of your father as he explains that he made the choice to reject you. 

Your chin quivered in a new way, no longer happy. No longer tears between teeth, “I’m really confused.” 

“I forgave myself for that decision in rehab. I found god and I absolve myself from that guilt through years of healing, Adalina and Adare’s birth helped me free myself from that decision. I knew you were taken care of I had to–”

“I-I wasn't taken care of. I wasn't loved. I was ignored–I-I spent the holidays alone. I was raised by a nanny–When-when I fell off my bike I relied on my brother's best friend to take care of me. I needed you but I was never angry at you for not looking because I thought you were left completely in the dark.” Each word came with a sob so deep, you weren't sure your body could handle a heartbreak like this. His lips thinned and his brows creased in sympathy that didn't feel genuine. You had sisters, sisters with names awfully close to your own. "Did-did you know where I was?"

"I had you address for several years, yes." Cooly he says it. “Andrea–I'm really upset to hear that. I had assumed you were okay, you never looked for me.”

You shook your head with closed eyes, tears staining your neck. “I shouldn't have to–I’m the child…” You whined, regressing to a little girl, you couldn't help it. This was the worst pain you've felt. “I needed you– I needed a dad.”

“I understand, I understand the importance of a father in a young woman's life–I've got two of my own–But I cannot be sorry for the decision I made twenty two years ago.” How could he be so cold, so analytical. How is it that he talks about the situation like he’s just an observer? 

“Three, you have three daughters.” Your voice sobers, its anger this time. You were so upset that he couldn't see this the way you do. Your eyes burn into his and there isn't anything, there's nothing. You began to wonder how he could be the product of a woman like Lorena. “You had me on January 14th 1964, you watched my mom carry me for 7 months before she couldn’t– I’m your daughter too.” You spit without a shaking breath. 

His face tightens and he nods, “Technically speaking yes-”

“Oh give me a fucking break!” You cuss, jumping to your feet and he jumps in his seat. 

“Please do not cuss in my home.” 

You were red hot, fuming as your eyes finally took in the catholic iconography throughout the office. And the many, many pictures of your sisters. Wiping your tears with your palms, fast like you want to hide from him that he even made you cry in the first place. “You are a pathetic person. I feel so ridiculous having wasted so many years wanting you. I’ll see my way out.” You turn and he’s following you, repeating your name but no apologies. You swing the door open and Javier is there at his feet already, with a tense face. You see it, he heard it all and he’s angry. 

“Please Andrea, let's just pray together.”

You cackle and glance at your boyfriend. “Let's go Javi.” You storm past him, swinging the backdoor open. 

The second the rolling front yard and southern sun hits your skin you begin to sob. Chest wracking yet silent as you walk away from your fathers home. As you walk away from someone else's father. You chest hiccuping as you blurily lead yourself down the path, Javier's steps quickening behind you. Your cheeks hot and stung with tears, head pounding you knew you looked like a swollen hot mess. You hug your own shaking body all the way to the car. Climbing in the passenger's seat with more tears. 

You aren't sure if you could ever be okay.

Javier circles the car with his heart in his throat, hearing each word and feeling the cuts deep. He sits and thinks, she won't be able to handle this. He knows you, he knows you enough to love you. He knows you are strong, he also knows no child is strong enough to face rejection from a parent. So he stares at your father before you have walked out the home, he contemplates killing him there. He wants to hurt the man for making you ache so badly. Call him crazy or irrational, but he thought it for a split second. Thought of hurting him.

 Javier decides taking care of you was far more important than his anger. 

He walks behind you, 

It felt like a huge joke, like a fuck you. The beautiful scenery of the estate, the birds chirping and the world still spinning, and you're there, hugging your own body while you silently weep ahead of him. 

He doesn't start the car when he gets in. He stares ahead, sick to his stomach at the sound of your cries. His eyes glued to the steering wheel, his peripheral catches you shifting to lean your temple against the window. The car was hot, sitting out in this sun. Hot enough to burn you once your elbow touches a belt buckle but the heat felt trivial. Javier glances at the map, prepared to drive back into New Orleans and extend their weekend, take you away for more days. Allow you to be detached for some more time, this was far too much for you. 

“I want to go home Javi.” You whisper between tears, “It was…dumb of me to look for a family out here.” 

There it was again, your eagerness for a complete family. For someone to see you, understand your pain, he heard you beyond that door. He heard you talk about being left alone, celebrating holidays with only yourself. He heard you begging for sympathy from your own blood from your own family. He heard your voice so small when you begged him to see you as his own child, as his own family. 

Javier panics, he’s so overcome with emotion he isn't sure he has the words to comfort you. He can't get out what he's tried to tell you all weekend. You will always have a family with him, you no longer have to search. But it doesn't come out from his mouth.

Instead, he reaches his hand over to you and between his thumb and his pointer he rubs the earring he gifted you. The earring, the reminder. Without words he tells you, I’ve got you. He watched you the past two days rub the thing as a nervous tick, he sees your brows furrow and your chin quiver once more before you cave and lean your head against his hand. Your cries regulate and calm with each pass of his thumb against the delicate little bee in your ear. Javier watches you with blurred eyes and he remembers meeting you for the first time. He remembers putting bandages on your knees and peeling oranges for you and diving into lakes and biking, and blushing and kissing and leaving. And And And, 

“Andrea, I really, really love you.”