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#good thing this is my last week!!!!!! that was maybe one of the most toxic environments ive experienced at a job in years.
shadyhouse · 4 months
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hey im sorry to ask for help again, i just dont know what else to do right now. im starting my new job today (just onboarding for now but im finding out my new schedule today and i'll be starting next week) and my bank account is currently at -23, i just had to pay my phone bill so that put me at -78. if anyone has anything to spare so i can get out of this hole itd be greatly appreciated 🙏 as soon as my new job starts i'll be able to get on track fairly quickly but my boss completely screwed me over with scheduling for my last few weeks of work, idk what im gonna do
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pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕 of course plz only help if you can afford to
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queers-gambit · 1 year
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God's Plan
prompt: your boyfriend carries the worst parts of his job home, bringing to life one of your deepest-seeded insecurities. or when Carmy calls you clingy.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
collection masterlist: Clingy Baby
word count: 3.3k+
note: she's short. she's to the point. author doesn't want to hear a GODDAMN THING about "glorifying" toxic relationships. shut the fuck up, eat your cereal, read the fic or just scroll away.
warnings: cursing, small angst, short fic, author mildly gave up, hurt with no real comfort, allusion to toxic family relationship, insecurity, not edited.
part two: Two to Tango
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"Hey, what're you still doin' here?"
You glanced up from your computer, smiling at your coworker, "Just trying to get the study notes finished so they can be used for the analysis."
"Okay...? But you realize what time it is, right?"
You hummed, glancing at the analog clock, "Just about 7?"
"Yeah, so, go home," she chuckled. "Work's still gonna be here tomorrow."
"I'll see you then," you dismissed softly, watching her smile and turn away from your desk. You tried to get back into work, but the truth was, you felt overly burned out, but still wanted to work because it'd make you feel better being "good" at your job.
So, in reality, you didn't get home until 10:56 pm, yet still beat Carmy. You ate something simple, cleaned up, got a shower, and crashed into bed. You didn't know the time, but Carmy eventually came home; his arm heavy around you when settling for sleep.
You were the first up and out the door the next morning, just barely seeing Carmy when he got up for coffee. You managed a single kiss before rushing away, needing to get to work on time. When you got there, your entire morning was blocked for client meetings, then you took lunch, later, team meetings, and then the last hour or so of work was meant for individual recreation.
Another day of staying late, trying to finish work you thought was important. Another day of getting home late, missing your man, going to bed, and only seeing him the following morning.
However, this time at work, your boss told you that the analysis meetings were pushed back by a week... So, technically, you stayed late and busted your ass for no literal reason! And your coworker's entire cup of coffee spilled on you. And your Outlook email was under maintenance, so, you couldn't really work. And then, to top off a really shitty week, your car was hit in the parking lot and now had a huge fucking dent.
You were beat.
You were overwhelmed.
You were miserable, stressed, righteously confused.
You didn't stay late that night. Instead, you left at a normal hour and texted Carmy:
what time do you think you'll be off?
He replied when you got to your car:
maybe around 8?
You sniffled, nodding, answering:
okay, see you when you get home.
As you exited the parking lot, he replied:
what? you're off?
And you answered:
yeah, couldn't stand being there much longer. think you could get off a little early?
When you made three turns, he sent back:
i'll try, peach 💙
When you got home, you felt utterly defeated. Life felt like a never ending shitshow that refused to alleviate most of the stress you forced to endure. You were in tears by the time you got in the door, angrily stripping and getting a long, hot shower. You cried a little longer. When you got out, you got dressed in cozy shorts and one of Carmy's sweatshirts; going about a few household chores when you realized it was already past 9.
You didn't really want to, but you texted Carmy again,
hey, are you gonna be much later?
You made a simple meal, eating it in silence. When you were doing dishes, Carmy answered,
i don't know, going over menu items with syd. text you on my way home
You just went to bed, exhaustion from the week catching up to you.
Sometime later, you felt Carmy crawl into bed beside you. You were only half awake, but still turned over and nestled into his chest, hearing him sigh. "You're home late," you mumbled.
"Sorry f'wakin' you, Peach," he whispered, pecking your forehead. "You good, baby?"
"S'been a long fuckin' week," you squeezed him.
He sighed, "Sorry it was rough, Peach, but hey, hey, back up a little, 's kinda warm."
"But I haven't seen you."
"I know, but it's just warm. We'll cuddle in the morning, okay?" You only sighed and turned back over to face away from him. You resettled with your pillow, just settling when he asked in a hardened tone, "You mad?"
"No, Carmen, go to sleep."
"You sound mad."
"I'm not."
"I don't mean to piss you off, it's just been a long night f'me and I don't want to cuddle right now," he said in a sharp tone that made your stomach coil and churn.
"Shut up, I'm not mad, Carmen, go to sleep."
He scoffed, your irritation spiking. "You're really fucking mad 'cause I don't want you laying on me right now?"
"No, Carmen, Jesus - "
"Callin' me fuckin' Carmen doesn't help," he snapped.
You sat up and turned to him, "You want me to be mad? Maybe I'm a little pissed off that I've barely seen my boyfriend this week! Not like you've made an effort to speak to me, but I've had a pretty shitty time at work, too - so, excuse the fuck outta me for feeling disappointed!"
"Disappointed in fucking what, Peach? In not wanting t'cuddle right now?"
"Maybe, yeah! I'm upset, stressed out, maybe I just wanted some comfort, God! Now you're all up in arms, I just wanted to go to sleep - but no, you want to pick at me!"
"Oh, Jesus, fucking Christ! You couldn't just talk to me about you having a shitty week, you gotta be laid up on me? When the fuck did you get so Goddamn clingy and desperate for fucking attention? Huh? So fucking desperate for love? Sorry you had a shitty week, darling, but you're not alone in that. Sorry if it's fucking hot and I just want to sleep."
Feeling yourself fighting a losing battle because he wasn't listening, you just sighed, "Okay, Carmen."
He scoffed again, turning over to face away from you, "Know what? Fuck you, sweetheart."
You stared at his back for a long minute, feeling shocked by his words. "You can be such a fucking dick, you know that?" You snapped, standing from bed.
"And you can be a dramatic bitch."
"Yeah, that's me, the bitch you chose, huh!?" You rolled your eyes and nodded sarcastically; taking the blanket from the end of the bed, figuring he wouldn't miss it since he was so fucking hot. With only your phone and charger, you went out to the living room and crashed on the couch; covering up and crying quietly into a pillow from the overwhelming stress built in your chest. You felt guilt plunging your stomach, tearing it apart; feeling as if it were your fault for having physical touch as a love language.
Sleep evaded you that night. About an hour before your alarm, you called in sick and shut your phone off, resettling in misery as Carmy left the bedroom for work. You didn't move, never opened your eyes. However, they popped open in surprise when Carmen shoved your shoulder, "Hey."
"What?" You muttered.
"You're late for work."
"Called in."
He snorted, "Yeah, must be nice."
You didn't say anything else, feeling utterly defeated by his sharp words. The lack of response made Carmy pause and glance over at you from the kitchen, honest surprise coloring his system because he usually knew you to bite back. But you were quiet and still, the only indication you were even alive being the slow drag of your shoulders.
He let the door slam after he left for work, and you instantly sobbed. What you didn't know was that Carmy had come back, forgetting something mundane, and came to a halt outside the door when he heard you crying. He felt guilty, but Carmy wasn't usually one to confront problems; he instead ran away, like always.
After a night of exhaustion, you finally cry yourself to sleep.
When Carmy got home that night after work, he found you still huddled on the couch. After a look around, he realized you hadn't moved all day; nothing to eat, nothing to drink... He wanted to wake you but still felt so fucking irritated from his job that the idea of reconciling with you felt far fetched. So, he did what he did best and isolated himself by going to the gym for a few hours.
You still hadn't woken up when he got back.
So, he just went to bed; hating sleeping alone but hating his pride more because it refused to let him get up and go get you. Carry you to bed. Smother you in apologies. Beg for forgiveness. He was cold that night.
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You were awake around 4 am.
The entire apartment felt as cold and aloof as your boyfriend. You felt so silly for still being there, knowing you paid for an apartment of your own, but liking that Carmy's place was closer to your work. And he never asked you to leave, in fact, the times you went home, he was calling you within hours to beg you to come back because he hated sleeping alone.
Whatever happened to that lad? The one who was so in-love with you that he would desperately ask you to come "home" to him? Who was this man now? Who called you clingy, desperate... A bitch.
You could only stand to make coffee, feeling powerless in this tension. You didn't want him to ignore you any longer, feeling like you'd drop to your knees for his forgiveness if it would end this feud; but you weren't so naïve. You spent several long minutes mentally prepping yourself for more anxiety, telling yourself you could handle the day if you just powered through it. Everything should be fine so long as you didn't do anything else to upset him, as long as you didn't do anything to warrant him yelling at you - again.
You finally decided on an emotion, since you could feel so many at any given point in time, and since this situation was one you've never encountered before. Carmy had brought forth one of your biggest insecurities and then smashed it in your face like punk-ass siblings did to your birthday cake. You decided you were hurt by his words, tone, and actions; you were hurt by the man you loved unconditionally, and that was a terrifying thought on its own. He was once a man you thought couldn't do any wrong, to now being a man you were unsure of how to even speak to; fearful, as you once were as a child, to upset him and create hostility directed at you.
Carmy often forgot he didn't have a monopoly on toxic, complicated family dynamics, but being that Mikey was still so fresh for him, you kept quiet about your own issues in an effort to be a loving, supportive girlfriend. Yet even while trying not to upset anyone, to create tension, you somehow managed to. You felt your heart and soul shrivel into a withered raisin when you remembered your family and how they constantly put you down; saying that nobody wanted a girl like you who tried, tried, and tried again only to fail. They thought you were damaged goods, treated you as such and always smeared your name in the mud whenever you thought you had found someone to love you and be loved by you.
All that trauma was rearing its ugly head now, making doubt sink into the cracks of your relationship. No matter how hard he tried, Carmy couldn't ever take those words back once they've been said, and he had to understand that going forward, this would strain your relationship. Taking anger and frustration out on you was inappropriate, putting a bad taste in your mouth; making you wonder how the hell you'd ever move past this when his words circled your head like water draining from the sink.
Sometime around 9 am, you were curled up on the couch with your coffee and a book; Saturday dragging by slowly to allow you the reprieve of being off work. The bedroom door opened and you held your breath; sweat breaking out on your brow; heart stammering in your chest. When he came out, Carmy didn't look at you, which allowed you to watch him. He made a to-go cup of coffee, then shouldered his backpack before heading for the door.
"Carmy?" You asked softly in confusion, "I thought you were off today?"
"I am," he replied stiffly, "but I gotta run errands."
You didn't have time to respond before he was storming out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You blinked in shock, confusion plunging your heart to your feet as you realized he didn't ask you to join him, in fact, he didn't appear to want to tell you his plans until you had to ask directly when he was walking out the door. You felt terrible, more tears swelling in your eyes at the discord your boyfriend prolonged.
Something in your heart snapped and you stood from your seat. With anger coursing through your veins, you turned into a miniature tornado and quickly started gathering whatever you could get your hands on that belonged to you. You had enough, you felt hurt, yes, we established this, but then the disrespect started to overflow out of your heart to color your blood. Never linger where you're not wanted, you should never tear yourself down to that level. Never should have to second guess yourself, either - especially in a space where you're supposed to be safe.
You started to wonder: is it clingy if you made dinner and saved him a plate? Is it clingy if you did his laundry? What about cuddling? Is that clingy? Well, apparently! What else are you wrong about? If you texted him? Asked his opinion? What about if you held his hand - is that clingy, too? Probably!
Physical touch and quality time were your love languages, but after this reaction, you wondered if everything you'd do from now on would be judged? Would you be crucified for showing your love? For trying to participate in your relationship?
All day, you moved your stuff back to your apartment. All shoes, clothes, purses, make-up, haircare and skincare products - any and all period products, too. You left fucking nothing; going as far as to lay face-down the photo of your two on his bedside stand. You'd of taken it, too, but you felt sick at the thought so you left it for him. Sunday night, you didn't return to his apartment, and Carmy didn't call to say goodnight; both figuring the other was still pissed off. Your Monday was long and annoying, but once it was over, you had to admit, it was strange returning to an empty apartment, heat up leftovers, eat while watching some Netflix show, and then crashing into bed - moving mechanically.
Days passed uneventfully, albeit, a bit sluggishly. And then, Thursday arrived, and with it, the shit that would hit the fan.
You were enraptured in this book by Anne Tyler called "Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant," and couldn't stop reading it. You nursed a mug of tea, the outside darkening with an approaching thunderstorm that would talk to you in the silence and send bolts of lightning to illuminate the city. A shrill ringtone then played, making you jump slightly and glance at your phone only to see Carmy's contact name and photo.
You stare at your phone for a long moment, and then, after convincing yourself that ignoring him would only add fuel to the fire, answered quietly, "Hello?"
"Peach? Hey, uh... Are you, um, still at work?"
"No?"
"Where are you, then?"
"I'm home."
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am."
"I'm standing right here and you're not, baby, unless you got superpowers or something?" He chuckled nervously, hearing nothing on your end. "In fact, I, uh... I don't see any of your things. You move 'em?"
He'd never admit it, but your personal touch in his living space transformed it into a home; and now that they were all gone, he hated how cold, dreary, and grey the apartment felt.
"Carmy, I mean my home. You know? The apartment I still pay for?"
"Oh, well... Why're you there?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I had to bring my stuff back and leave it somewhere safe."
"It was safe here, Peach," he argued.
"Yeah, but it's your space and last thing I need is to be yelled at and insulted again for being clingy 'cause I left clothes at your apartment."
"Fuc'k's sake," You heard him hiss under his breath, bringing tears to your eyes. "You know I don't mind, I want you to leave shit here so it's easier on you to commute. Look, you know it's Thursday, right? Does our standing date night ring any bells?"
"Okay, but we haven't honored that in weeks? You know, 'cause you've been really busy."
"I thought we could get back into it tonight."
You sighed, turning the page in your book, "No, I don't think so, but thanks anyway."
He took a long pause, asking nervously, "What's wrong, Peach?"
"Nothing. Is there anything else, Carmen? I'm in the middle of shit."
"Oh, uh, n-no, I guess that's it. You comin' over tomorrow?"
"No. I told my brother I'd help him this weekend."
"But tomorrow's... Friday?"
"Yeah, that's how a calendar works. I have to travel to get to him," you scoffed.
"You didn't think to tell me?"
"Why would I?"
"You tell me everything! You don't think that's something I should know? That my girl's not even gonna be here this weekend?"
"Well, you're the one who said I was fucking clingy, remember!?" You finally snapped. "So, I'm giving you all that space you wanted!"
"Baby - "
"No, it's a great idea. We need space, Carmen; this isn't fair to either of us anymore," you spoke seriously, the line going quiet.
"What?"
"We need space from this relationship."
"I don't. I don't need space, Peach, baby, no, just listen, okay? I'm so sorry, I came home stressed out and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, I really am, this isn't what I want. Okay? I'm sorry. Just - come back home and we can - "
"No, you know what? I think I'm the one who needs this space," you snapped. "You said some pretty fucked up things, Carmen, that you can't ever take back, and now that I know, I can't un-know what you think about me. So, I need time to sort myself out."
"What're you saying? A-Are you breaking up with me?"
"Not yet, no."
"Baby, don't do this. C'mon, okay? I'm sorry, baby, I-I-I was wrong for what I said, I didn't - I didn't mean it! None of it, okay? Know I love you, baby, please, just come home, okay? I'm so sorry, I love that you wanna be close to me, I shouldn't've pushed you away. I'm sorry, okay? Please, baby, I'm so sorry. I need you, Peach, please. Just come home, we'll talk it through, I promise, no yelling - "
"I think you already said it all. Your words were 'clingy' and 'desperate'. Oh, and you also called me a 'bitch', so, I'd hate to be the bitch that makes your already stressful life all the harder."
"I didn't mean that - "
"I gotta go, Carmen, we'll talk later, okay? Goodnight."
He froze when he listened to those three distinct beeps that indicated you hung up on him. Confusion and hurt now seeped into the cracks of Carmy's heart; wondering when the hell he'd become so Goddamn self destructive to ruin the best thing he's ever had - you. The apartment might as well turned into ice with the way the light left, your departure suddenly haunting him.
When will these boys learn? The love of a good woman is rare, they'd only ever be so lucky as to think they deserve a woman like you. Nobody ever gets to guilt you for your love language(s) and then grovel for forgiveness. You deserve better, you deserve more; whether you could see that right now or not, you deserved to be loved in the best way for you. And sometimes, that means walking away from something you once thought was exactly what you wanted, but perhaps, never what you needed - call that God's Plan.
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[ part two: ] Two to Tango
requesting rules and masterlist
The Bear masterlist
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kingtomura · 6 months
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Cat and mouse
synopsis: Your ex boyfriend has some nerve texting you at three in the morning — an entire week after the disaster breakup you had. You should really go over there and give him a piece of your mind. Well, you know what they say about famous last words.  wc: 6.1k | crossposted to ao3 content: tomura shigaraki x female reader, no quirks au, toxic tomura, reader is kinda toxic too tbh, unhealthy relationships, breaking up and making up, vaginal fingering, overstim, breeding kink, piv, dubcon creampie, degredation, threats of baby trapping, hurt/comfort, sweet at the end idc
You’ve told your friends time and time again to stay out of your business. They never listen. 
“Oh my god, Kirishima? Is he even twenty yet?” You drag as you watch your friend flip through several pictures of the redheaded boy like he was a member of the bachelor. 
She smiles, scrolling her phone for more options, “no, but he will be in a couple of months!”
“No!” Your words are sharp. You love Mina but god, you don’t want her to play matchmaker with you. It’s not like you’re a charity case or something. 
She gasps and you swear you could see the lightbulb go off above her head. “What about Denki? He’s fun!” 
You groan, falling back onto the bed and covering your eyes with your arm. “Mina.” 
“Hey, just give her a break okay? It’s only been about a week.” Your saving grace Yaoyorozu speaks up and it’s nice to finally have someone on your side. 
“Thank you.”
“Seriously? So we’re just going to sit around and watch you mope about all day?” Mina questions, irritation clear in her voice and it grates your ears.  
“Preferably, yes! Just let me be.” You roll over, face officially shoved into your pillow. It’s been a rough couple of days and you haven’t gotten a single call or text from Tomura. Not that you should be expecting one. You broke up with him after all. 
It’s just.. this time feels different. Usually there’s more arguing and he’s fighting for you to stay around, but this time there was nothing. No quips, no insults, just “fine, get out then.”
That hurt the most. 
You had no idea what he was up to. 
Maybe he was as depressed as you were. 
Maybe he’s found someone else. 
The thought makes you stop in your tracks. The idea of Tomura, your tomura with someone else is enough to make you nauseous. 
You jump to your feet and rush to the bathroom, locking yourself in and falling to your knees. 
God, what if that was why it was so easy?
You pull out your phone, the device lighting up and unlocking with your facial id. 
Tomura doesn’t use social media much but you could still check to see if he’d blocked you. 
To your surprise, he hadn’t. 
He hasn't posted anything either and there’s no new person in his followers. 
You feel yourself exhale a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. No change is a good thing. 
There’s knocking on the door and you thank the stars you locked it. Your friends would judge you so hard if they saw you lurking through your ex’s social media. 
“Hey, are you okay in there?” It’s your saving grace Yaoyorozu again and you almost feel bad for shutting her out. 
“Yeah, I’m sorry if it feels like I pressured you! I’ll give you some space.” Mina's regretful voice calls and it makes your heart clench. You know she means well but she just doesn’t understand. None of them do. 
Whether you want to admit it or not, you love Tomura. 
Yes, you argue and yes, you fight, but he just gets you. He’s so cynical, but so caring — in his own special way. Too bad he was such an asshole. The argument wasn’t even supposed to go that far. 
There are tears beginning to blur your vision and you wipe them away, willing the feelings down and standing to your feet. 
If he wanted you to stay away, then fine. You could do that. 
You splash cool water onto your face and take a breath, steeling yourself and getting ready to face your friend once more. It was Saturday and they were convinced you needed a fun girl’s night.
It takes a lot to refrain from cringing at the phrase, but you believe they held some truth with the idea. You definitely didn’t want to be alone right now.
You unlock the bathroom door, meeting Mina and Yaoyorozu’s worried expressions with a smile. 
“We should probably get ready now, huh?”
Mina’s eyes light up, smile blinding and excitement contagious.
“Yes! Jirou and the others are here now.” She starts to clap, excitement buzzing around her, “Girl’s night is going to be amazing!” 
—-
Girl’s night was a bust.
The moment everyone arrived the apartment quickly filled with chaos. Noisy and busy, it was all giving you a headache. Until someone decided it would be a good idea to pregame before going out.
In preparation for the night your friend’s insisted that you get dolled up, hair makeup and skimpy clothes you wouldn’t look twice at on any normal day. 
You had to admit it made you a little more excited to get out and at least feel like your world isn't crashing around you. It was supposed to be a fun little night out. Somehow one drink turned into two, which turned into three which turned into Mina swearing she could beat everyone in a dance battle. 
The group only got more riled up as everyone indulged in this silly challenge. 
One challenge leads to another, which leads to more drinking, which then ends in everyone being too drunk to function and knocking out — all laid out in odd places around your living room floor and couch. 
The groggy feeling came first, your arms radiating in dull pain as you vaguely recalled trying to beat Mina in a contest of who could do the most push ups. It sure as hell wasn't you, but the drunk version of you thought it was possible to move mountains. 
You blink a few times, trying to will your eyes to rapidly adjust to the darkness of the room and find out what this odd buzzing noise beside you had been. Turning over, you find your phone, squinting as the too bright screen lights up your face and you see that it is three a.m.
You had fallen asleep with everyone else.
The phone buzzes again, lighting up and you have to squint further to read the contact name.
Tomura. 
Your eyes widen as you scan over the three texts he’s sent you. 
Wasting no time, you rush to your feet and into the bathroom so you can look at your phone without the chance of prying eyes overlooking your shoulder. Even though they were probably going to be out until late morning.
Tomura’s messages were short, no paragraphs, no essays but three different messages sent in succession. 
When are you coming to get your shit?
I’m tired of waiting.
And I’m deleting our farm btw. 
The first two messages don’t get much of a reaction from you, especially since it’s three a.m and he knows you’re usually asleep around this time. 
But the third message…
Your Stardew Valley farm that you’ve had and worked on together for almost two years being put on the line and threatened? What the fuck was his problem?
This farm was a constant in your relationship. Throughout the ups and downs and back and forths. You were sure that hell would freeze over before you both would give up that progress. But here he is, threatening you while you would have been asleep. What an asshole.
Your feet are moving before your brain can stop them and you make your way to the front door. Since your friends were all passed out it would be easy to sneak over to Shigaraki’s place, give him a piece of your mind and then sneak back. In and out, quick and easy. 
Your decision is made and you grab your coat, deciding to just go over there as you are. You hadn’t changed out of your outfit that was supposed to be for the night out, but it didn’t matter. You only needed to get over there and get there fast.
Once you arrive at Tomura’s doorstep you waste no time knocking. It’s around three in the morning so he should still very much be awake. 
There's a chill in the air as you wait for his answer and you wrap your jacket closer to your body. A rumble of thunder caught your attention and it's then you notice the rain clouds rolling in. You knew it would only be a matter of time before the bottom of the sky falls out and rain drenches everything. You were on borrowed time if you wanted to make it back before then.
After what feels like forever the door finally opens, revealing a very cozy pajama-clad Tomura, who seemed a little too pleased for his own good — if that sly smile he was doing a bad job at hiding was anything to go by. 
You don't give him a chance to greet you or say anything for that matter, stopping his words in their tracks as you cut him off. “What do you want?”
He doesn’t bother hiding his smirk now, the expression making your fists clench and your anger boil. “What do I want? You’re at my door, in front of my apartment.” He scoffs, clearly getting the exact reaction he had wanted from you, “I should be asking what do you want?” 
Caught like a deer in headlights. Whatever, you don't let that stop you as you pull out your phone to show him his text. “You sent this, I know you’re bluffing. What do you want?”
Tomura shrugs, leaning against his door frame and giving you a pleased look. Expression relaxed and content. Not a care in the world. “To talk.”
“Well, I'm here now, so let’s talk.” You spit, crossing your arms and waiting for whatever else he would throw at you. 
“Sure, but you should come in first.” He starts, looking up towards the darkened sky, confirming his assessment. “It’s gonna rain soon, you know.”
Of course you knew that. 
You just didn’t want to give him more time than you had. But you agree and go in, ignoring the fighting feeling in the back of your mind screaming at you to turn away and hightail it out of there. 
Tomura’s home is the exact way it was the day you left, give or take a few more containers of takeout littered around the place. You have half a mind to scold him about it, but quickly remember that it isn’t your place to do that anymore. 
So instead you stay quiet, following him into the apartment and into the living room. Opting to stand as he sat, and resisted the urge to get comfortable. 
“So, what do you want to talk about?” You try, done watching him pick up a controller and boot up a video game. Seriously? 
Your patience was wearing thin now as you watched him ignore you to play some stupid game. You try calling to him again, knowing this was probably a waste of your time and groans.
“I was in the middle of something before you got here. Let me finish and we’ll talk.” It's flippant the way he waves you off and continues the game. The lack of care only hurting your feelings further and making you realize this may have all been a big mistake on your part.
You shouldn’t be at your ex boyfriend’s house being ignored. You should be at your house getting drunk and hanging out with your best friends. There was no reason to stay somewhere you’re obviously not valued.
It’s a simple choice when you put it into perspective. 
But things are always easier said than done. 
You sigh, the air puffing out your cheeks, a bad habit you had when angry, and walk right in front of Tomura’s TV. There was more satisfaction in making him lose the game and then announcing your departure than just leaving quietly. 
He cranes his neck to see around you, but it doesn’t work, finally giving up as his character inevitably dies. “What!?”
“I’m leaving!” You announced, turning on your heel and heading towards the front door.
“You had to make me lose first? I said I was almost done!” He spat back, rising from the couch to follow you.
You shrug, “I don’t care. Why invite me in if you’re just going to ignore me?”
“Didn’t think you had the patience of a child.'' Tomura stands in front of you, cutting through your path and stopping you in your tracks.
It's almost comical the way he insults you. “Okay pot, meet kettle.” You try to brush past him, but he side steps with you. 
“What are you dressed like that for anyway? Did you go out tonight or something?”
“No!” You deny, a little louder than intended and then pause. “But it’s none of your business what I do anyway.”
Tomura hums at this, taking the words in and running them through his mind as he gives you a once over, eyes scanning from the too-tight shirt you wore — showing a generous amount of cleavage, down to your mini skirt that left little to the imagination. 
“Could've fooled me.”
“What do you mean by that?” You hate when he gives you cryptic answers, like it’s impossible to pry into his mind to see what he was thinking at the moment. 
“You knew you were coming to see me so I dont get why you're wearing that skimpy shit. Unless you wanted me to check you out.”
“Not everything is about you, Tomura. Maybe I just wanted to dress up and look nice.”
“Bullshit—”
“God, Tomura you always fucking do this!” You yell, walking right up into his face. The excitement in his scarlet eyes sends a chill up your spin, but you can’t back down. 
He gets closer, matching your tone and you can still see the grin he’s trying to hide. It makes you see red. “Do what? Tell you the truth? You know I’m not wrong.”
“Yeah, you think you know everything, but you don’t. I’m dressed up because I want to be, not because of you.” You’re insisting at this point, frustration threatening to tip over and spill out into the form of another pointless argument. Why did you think you could actually come over and have a decent conversation with him?
Tomura is a master at getting under your skin and hitting where it hurts. In all of your arguments he’s never really pulled out the big shots but you wouldn’t put it past him to do so now. 
“Oh, so you come over to my place dressed like a slut and you expect me to believe you don’t have some hidden motive?”
And there it is.
Your last straw. He could be so egotistical and mean — you’ve had it. 
You regret it the moment you do it, but your body moves before your brain can process your actions. You push Tomura. Hard. 
He doesn’t fall back far but you know it’s enough to piss him off. And he’s never been one to hold anything back, so he shoves you back and your back hits the wall. 
Tomura has you pinned before you know it and there’s a thrill that runs through your body in a way you know you shouldn’t be feeling. Your knees feel weak for reasons that are not related to fear and your panties were gradually becoming more wet. 
His voice is low and his eyes are narrowed as he pins you against the wall, pressing your cheeks together with his other hand. “You’re really starting to piss me off.”
You have to bite back a smile, knowing this has taken a turn and you aren’t strong enough to stop where it’s going. Not that you would want to. 
“Oh yeah? If I piss you off so badly then why are you hard?”
He doesn’t look down. He can feel his own arousal just as well as you can while it’s pressed against your abdomen. 
Tomura pushes off of you — maintaining some distance as he turns away. 
“You’re fucking annoying.”
“Sure am.” You supply, chipper and certain as you trail behind him. 
He’s walking further into the apartment, and you follow. Legs moving on their own accord as you go further into the lion's den, exchanging quips and insults. You jab your finger into his shoulder, bothered by the way he continues to ignore you, it's a pathetic attempt at catching his attention and it works. Kind of. 
The only response being him slapping your hand away with a glare and muttering a soft fuck off as he walked on. 
You both went back and forth. Like the sun and moon, you just can’t stay away from each other.  
It was how these things usually went between you and Tomura. He would start up, make a petty argument and you would never back down. Tomura is someone who was used to getting his way and others simply did what he said with no objections. 
But that was not how you were.
And he loved it.
You knew by the way he would get that devious glimmer in his eye when you would challenge a point, starting up a debate. Sometimes they were heated enough to make you both break up. It never lasted more than a few days. A week being the longest.
Push and pull. 
Tomura made his way past you again, ignoring your calls about how you hate being ignored. At this point you’re sure he’s doing it on purpose to rile you up more but you can’t help but take the bait. You grab his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face you as you point a finger in his face. 
“Stop walking away from me!” 
He grabs your wrist and pulls you closer, making you stumble on your feet and almost lose balance. You were so close you could feel the heat from his body and smell the fresh linen scent of his shirt. “Don’t tell me what to do.” 
You snatch your wrist away from him, tension between you two growing hotter by the second as the space between you got thinner. 
“What are you going to do about it?” 
The narrowing of his eyes only made your grin grow wider as you watched the gears turn in his head as he thought about just how many things he would do about it. All of it enticed you, so you beat him to the punch. 
You reach forward again, fully intending to shove his shoulder again for another reaction, another glare, maybe even more words, but he stops you. It was fast, the way you both tumbled through the hallway as Tomura crashed his lips to yours. The relief of finally feeling his lips again meshed with the excitement of how rough he was with you. 
You lose yourself in the kiss, welcoming him in with open arms as you vaguely register the dark walls of his room and posters plastered along the walls in your scuffle.
It was exciting, probably the best part of breaking up and making up. At this point you think the whole point of falling apart is coming back together again. An endless cycle where the reward is worth the punishment. 
Cat and mouse. 
You end up on top of him, straddling his hips while your smug smile beams down at him. Tomura gives you an unamused look in return, yet the way his hands rested on your thighs gave away the ill hidden interest. It was all the encouragement you needed as you leaned down, hovering above him with both hands on his chest. 
“Not so tough now, are you?”
It’s bait. You know it’s bait, he knows it’s bait, but he takes it anyway — the way you knew he would. 
Tomura wastes no time flipping the both of you over, quickly reversing your positions as he settled himself between your legs. It’s dangerous the way his actions riled you up further, and you have to bite your lip to keep the smile from betraying your false anger. You couldn’t let him know how excited you were to be back in his bed. 
He presses your cheeks together and rocks your head left to right, tone mocking and eyes wild with fever, “Oh, look who’s become a firecracker all of the sudden. Where did that flame come from, huh?”
You want to respond, but Tomura beats you to it, releasing your cheeks and pointing a nimble finger against your forehead, “Don’t be dumb.”
His eyes trail from yours and then down to your lips, then finally down to your exposed cleavage. The movement was swift as he cupped one of your breasts in his hand and dipped down, claiming your lips again. It was softer than the first time but not by much, especially not when he matched his pace by grinding his clothed erection into you, making you moan at the contact. 
Your skirt was so short and it made you feel even more exposed than you already were. Tomura had easy access to you and the thin fabric of your panties made everything feel so much closer. 
You moan at the contact, swiping your tongue against Tomura’s bottom lip and wasting no time deepening the kiss as you pull him closer. You needed more and you needed it as soon as possible. 
Tomura pulled the low cut front of your shirt down, easily exposing your breasts from the confines of the shirt and massaged them, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your nipples and making you cry out from the sensitivity. 
He pulls away from you, eyes gazing into yours and you swore in that moment he put you in a trance. Tomura’s ruby red gaze always left you mesmerized and you can’t help the whimper that leaves your lips, brows furrowed and eyes wanting, “Please.”
“Please what?” And he’s not taunting you, he’s not mocking you. His eyes are soft as he brings a hand to your cheek. “Tell me what you want.”
“You.” Fuck, you’ve missed him. “I just want you.”
There’s a hint of a smile on his face as he strokes your cheek, soft look in his eyes making your heart flutter, and then it’s gone. Replaced by a hardened gaze as he moves to remove your shirt and bra, fully exposing you to his hungry eyes, and then moves to remove your short skirt. 
His hands hover there for a moment, debating whether or not he should keep it on and fuck you in it, but then decides against the idea and pulls it off, taking your soaked panties down with it as well. 
The air in the room feels cool against your skin as you shiver in anticipation. 
“Fuck,” Tomura whispers, now eye level with your cunt. You gasp as he runs two fingers between your wet folds and holds the digits up to show you. Syrupy clear slick clung to them, slowly trailing down as Tomura rose back up, eye level with you once more. 
“You’re so wet…” He murmured, bringing the digits to your mouth and you opened, taking them into your mouth and tasting yourself. You kept eye contact as you watched his eyes widen in delight — Tomura loved it when you put on a show for him.
There’s another moment of Tomura pressing against your tongue with his fingers and then he pulls them out, opting for a kiss in exchange, his tongue dipping into your mouth and groaning  as he could taste what’s left of your slick on you as well.
The pleasant feeling and linguid action of your movements made your shoulders relax as you practically melted into his soft bed, the feeling of his body above yours bringing you mountains of comfort. It was a distraction, of course. 
You felt the same two of Tomura’s fingers prod at your slick entrance before pressing in fully and all the way down to the knuckle. The stretch was intense but the pressure was euphoric, making you squeeze your eyes shut and grip him closer. 
He didn’t make you wait long as he pumped his fingers, quickly finding that sensitive spot so deep inside of you that only he could pinpoint and brushing against it over and over. 
The feeling was so good it made you pull away from the kiss to breathe, thighs twitching and toes curling in pleasure. You wouldn’t last long like this.
“Tomura, fuck..!” You moaned, drowning in ecstasy as he continued his abuse of your spot, never letting up or slowing down, aiming to make you cum as quickly as he could. It was obvious he wanted you to come undone as soon as possible by the way he watched your every expression. 
The way your brows furrowed to the way you bit your lip. Tomura eagerly drank every expression and gave it back to you in the form of pleasure. 
“What?” He started, unphased by your dilemma, “Gonna cum?”
It took a lot of focus and effort, but you nod — done with fighting for the night and accepting the fact that you will come apart quickly. So you give in to the pleasure. 
Tomura smiles, a devious grin splitting his features as he curls his fingers, hitting the spot one more time for good measure and you lose composure, your climax crashing into you like a tidal wave. There was nothing you could do besides ride the feeling while holding on to Tomura tight — like you would get swept away if you didn’t. 
He fucks you through it with his fingers, eyes never leaving your face as you come down from your high. 
“Pent up, huh?” He questions, and this time there is that little hint of teasing. It brings you back to reality. 
Yes, you have been pent up. You haven’t been able to get off to anything since you’ve broken up and it’s been hell. 
You have no time for the games, you just want him and you want him now. 
So, you take Tomura’s face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes. The flecks of black in his carmine eyes always makes you remember why you come back. Every single time. 
“Fuck me, please, Tomura.” It's soft and filled with desire that you cannot be bothered to hide, and Tomura has never been one to deny you.
He quickly discards his own clothes, making sure to not stay away from you for long. His cock is hard and leaking precum from the head as he strokes it in preparation. You feel giddy at the thought and watch as he slides the head of his cock between your folds, coating it with your slick, and rubbing against your clit. The action makes your hips twitch up towards him. 
He loves to tease and make you wait, but today he doesn’t make you wait long. Tomura leans down after lining himself up with your entrance and places his free hand behind your head, right above the nape of your neck. His hands were warm and the feeling of those hands cradling your head felt so comforting in the space of his familiar dark bedroom. 
You bring a hand to his hair, tangling your fingers in his ashen locks as he pushes forward. The stretch makes you whimper and Tomura captures your lips in a kiss again, swallowing the noises and releasing a groan of his own as your walls tighten around his cock. 
There's something about the way Tomura drags his hips, the way he starts off at a slow pace, winding you up as he steadily increases his speed and force. It happens so gradually that you don't realize you’re screaming his name until he tells you to shut up — threatening to cover your mouth because he didn't want his neighbors to hear how much of a slut you were.
It drove you mad the way he said it all with a smile and fucked you harder. Almost daring you to be louder so he can punish you with a hand over your mouth.
Tomura knew how rough you liked it and he always delivered, giving you back arching pleasure as he pounded into you. It leaves you gasping and struggling to keep your voice down. Your hands find the surface of his back, trying to hold on as much as you could with building pleasure on the horizon. 
“Tomu— Tomura..! Please,” you cry and he doesn’t miss a beat, driving his cock so deep against your sweet spot it makes you see stars. “Fuck..!” 
“Yeah, that’s it.” Tomura cooed, eyes filled with mischief as he brought you closer to the edge. “Cry for me.”
And you do, your body feeling euphoric as the feeling buzzed up your spine and filled your brain with the fuzz of ecstasy. 
“What are you gonna do, huh?” He starts, his hips grinding against you, the closeness of his pelvis rubs against your clit, making you cry out again, “What are you gonna do when I breed this pretty cunt and make sure you’re stuck with me forever?”
He’s bluffing, you know Tomura doesn’t want kids. He’s just trying to gauge your reaction. Your dedication. 
“Tomura…” You only moan, breath catching as he hits that spot inside you that he knows so well. 
Tomura is smiling, wild and devious, as you look up at him with glossy eyes, so close to crying from the feelings, “I’m gonna do it. I’ll make you mine forever and you can’t do anything about it.” 
“Ah!” You should stop him, tell him to calm down but he has your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your back arching off of the bed. Everything is blurring together and you can only slur words as the drool from your earlier kiss trails down your cheek. 
You are completely at his mercy like this and you know your friends would be beyond disappointed.  
It just feels so good the way his cock drags in and out of your body pulling moans and whines from your throat. He was relentless in the way he pounded into you — beyond the point of being soft and slow because he knows that’s exactly you like it. 
“Say you want it.” The command comes with the slowing of his hips and you whine, high and needy as Tomura slows to a near stop.
“Tomura, I—“
“Say you want it or I swear to god I’ll stop right now.” It’s a threat and you don’t want to find out if he’ll go through with it. Tomura never goes back on his word. 
“No, please, don’t— I want it!” you pant, frustrated and aching for more movement.
“I want you to,” you stammer, desperate to have your release. “I don’t care if you cum in me. I need you so bad.”
“That’s my girl,” He coos, dipping his head down onto your shoulder, “Fuck.. love you s’much”
You stop — you’ve never heard him say that. Ever. You doubted he would ever say it since it’s been so long. 
He doesn’t give you a chance to ruminate on it because he's picking up the pace again and giving you the friction you were so deeply in need of. The feelings are swimming in your head as your cries reach new heights. Tomura is too far gone to stop you or care and you’re thankful. You couldn’t stop yourself if you tried. 
The build of your orgasm crashes down and sends you with it, making your thighs quiver in pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut. Tomura’s mouth meets yours before you could cry out, the warmth of his tongue guiding you as he fucked you through it. 
He didn’t last long after, the way your walls tightened around him with the force of your orgasm has Tomura’s pace erratic as he chased his own high. 
The bed shook as Tomura finally finished, hips stuttered as he released inside of you, hot seed coating your insides and making heat rise to your cheeks. He really did it.
You watch as he slows to a stop above you, his eyes closed as he enjoys the feeling of release. Tomura’s breathing was heavy and you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing him down into another kiss, traveling from his lips to his cheeks and then back again. 
It was intimate and you were worried it may have been too much, given the reason you were both in this situation was because of a stupid breakup. 
Tomura’s pulls out of you, making you wince and taking the feeling of being so full away from you. He doesn’t go far, opting to stay on top of you and rest his head on your shoulder, wanting to keep you as close as possible. 
“You really piss me off.” He mumbles into your shoulder, out of breath and tired. “God, why can’t you just stay with me.”
“Tomura…” Your hands run through his hair, the sweat is making it stick to his forehead as you wait for him to keep talking. 
“Stop leaving me.” His voice is firm, unwavering.
“You told me to go.” 
“I didn’t think you fucking would. I would never actually want you to.”
“I can’t read between the lines Tomura, I’m not in your head.” You make him look at you this time, pulling his hair a little to get him to raise his head. “Did you mean it?”
“I just said I didn’t—“
“No, the other thing you said.” He gives you a look of pure confusion and you lose a little bit of hope, “when you said you loved me?” 
You stare into his carmine eyes, hoping, praying it wasn’t just pillow talk from the heat of the moment. 
He looks at you for a long time, frustration still wearing on his features. If you didn’t know any better you would say he was pouting. “Of course I meant it. I’ve always felt like that.”
“But you’ve never said it!”
“I show it!”
“How?” This is getting frustrating and going in circles. 
He groans, sitting up and taking his warmth with him. “I’m not going to sit here and list everything I’ve ever done for you. I don’t think it works like that.”
You open your mouth to counter, irritation on your tongue because that’s not what you meant, but Tomura stops you again. 
“I don’t know how to explain it, okay?” He shakes his head and sighs, laying next to you on the bed and looking up at his ceiling. “It’s weird. I have these strong feelings, but it’s not hate, it's not anger. It's the opposite of that.”
You stare at him as he focuses ahead, keeping his eyes trained on the uninteresting ceiling above.
“Father said it’s a weakness and I should feel that way but,” There’s a pause as he looks away from the ceiling, meeting your eyes finally, “if it’s so weak of me, then why are the feelings so strong?” 
Your heart aches. It's clear that he’s torn, and with the strange way he was raised you know that he can’t help the way he is. 
“Tomura…” 
“And it won’t go away. I can’t fight them down or push them away like I can with everything else. It eats me up and I… guess I lash out because of it.” He shakes his head and for the first time Tomura looks defeated. You’ve never seen him this way — he’s always been filled with confidence and self assured. “I just don’t know what to do.”
You bring a hand to his cheek as you press your forehead against his. It kills you that this is what’s been on his mind and you aren’t sure what you could do to fix it. Maybe there was nothing you could do, physically, but you would do your best to be there for him emotionally.
“Sometimes,” you try to be careful with your words, knowing how much Tomura looks up to his foster father even though the man has been nothing but strange to him. “People say things that aren’t true because they don’t know how to live with it.”
Tomura’s guardian cannot live with love nor the idea of it. 
“That doesn't mean you have to live that way.” 
And it’s the truth. 
Tomura doesn’t say anything, just watches you with heavy lidded eyes, ruby red nearly glowing in the low light of the room. He was so much more than what people thought they knew of him and you didn’t care if it took time for others to see that.
He leans in, closing his eyes and you meet him halfway into a kiss. 
It's warm and it's soft and you know that even when your phone is buzzing from dozens of missed calls and texts from your friends, it will be fine. 
You and Tomura would take things one day at a time.
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strawberrymatchawhore · 6 months
Text
away
toxic bf! rafe cameron x reader
"running away is easy, its the leaving thats hard."
summary- the camerons are in charge of the annual new years party this year, you along other kooks as well as the camerons distant family are invited to the estate to celebrate. you unknowingly strike up a conversation with one of rafes cousins whom he has always been in competition with since childhood, eventually having to deal with the consequences of your jealous boyfriend
warning/s- abusive relationship, slapping, degrading, choking, toxic ass relationship, mean rafe, reader is a crybaby, nutting inside as punishment, barely any aftercare, NON/DUBCON (reader lets him fuck to make him less pissed off) IF ANY OF THIS MAKES U UNCOMFY PLS DONT READ <3, etc.. im backkk pls enjoy and comment as well as repost apologies for being gone for so long lolsies 🙁
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3 years ago you never would have pictured yourself where you are today, living in one of the finest estates of the island and dating one of the most popular and sought after members of this community. nor have you ever pictured yourself being in a a relationship where everyday was like stepping on eggshells and yet you never felt the urge to leave. you loved him too much to do so.
putting on silver dangly earrings as the final touch to your new years look, you turn to your boyfriend for approval. only to be met with a disgusted look on his face.
"why are you dressed like that"
"i thought you liked it? you bought it for me last week." you argued, folding your arms.
"yeah but i didn't think you'd wear it to a family event, i mean come on baby you look like a hooker." he pointed at the figure forming dress, your eyebrows furrowed. the dress was a maxi dress and the only thing revealing was the slight cleavage.
"never mind i'll just change" you exhale and quickly turn away to avoid starting an argument, but he grabs your arm and ushers for you to stay.
"you know what, lets go. we're already late." he leaves the room and you silently follow behind him.
.....
you and rafe walk through the door with your arm around his bicep, immediately you felt out of place. no one you knew were here and it was just random rich people. you felt your breathing begin to hitch and it continues to grow as you continue your walk into the kitchen to get drinks.
"i'll be back, stay right here." rafe orders and grabs a beer, leaving you to your thoughts.
"hey" a voice interrupted. you look up and see a tall brunette, someone you've never seen in this small island.
"uhm.. hi" you awkwardly respond back, giving a small smile which he returns.
"sorry did i interrupt? i saw you were by yourself so i thought maybe i should come and chat with you for a bit.. not that im calling you lonely. i mea- shit. im adrian by the way." he rambles and you cant help but laugh and slyly look around for your boyfriend. you know know how he gets when you talk to guys, and this guy seemed awfully familiar.
"no no, youre good. please. i was hoping someone would talk to me, everyones so intimidating here." you took another sip of your drink and lean against the marbled counter. who was this guy?
"i know right?! i thought my cousin was going to show up and greet me to everybody but i guess he's too good for that." he joked
"wow he seems like a handfu-" barely getting the response out, you instantly feel someone luring over you and harshly put their hand on your shoulder.
"what are you doing" you hear your boyfriends harsh voice whisper in your ear.
"oh hey man whats up" adrian says, they dap each other up but you could feel the tention behind it.
"i see youve met my girlfriend." rafes hand grabs your waist, massaging it. his fingers dig into your waist.
"i did, shes been a great chat." adrian responded, your jaw clenches and you bite your tongue. you feel your anxiety come back as you know youre about to dig your own grave.
"yeah she is huh. its getting kinda late though. i think we're gonna head out." before even hearing what adrian was going to say, rafe grabs your hand and starts to drag you outside.
"rafe what are you doing??? we just got here." you struggle to catch up with his long angry strides.
"do you think i give a fuck." you release yourself from his grip but he ends up pushing you up against his truck.
"i don-" his hand squeezes your throat, blocking your airways. it was 11 pm and everybody was inside, no one was seeing this.
"tell me. does it look like it?" he seethes, pushing you harder into the truck. you felt your tears start to form when his yelling is followed by his intense eye contact with you.
"no right? so get the fuck in the car." he opens the passenger seat and shoved you inside, slamming the door. rafe then gets into his seat and speeds off. you could tell by the silence and the way he was gripping the steering wheel that you were fucked.
......
rafe pulls up to the driveway and practically drags you inside, you were too scared to speak up. frightened at how much worst that would make his next moves be. pushing you into the guest bedroom he starts to speak up.
"why are you such a slut, i cant even leave you alone for 5 minutes without you trying to hop on my cousins dick." he scolds you, your body sits at the end of the bed in shame. hunching to make yourself smaller, mentally preparing yourself when you see him taking off his clothes.
"take this shit off." he grabs you and tugs on your dress. but you didnt hear him, you were too busy disassociating yourself away from him and this suffocating ass room.
"what'd i fucking say?" rafe slaps you and instead of giving you the time to take off the dress, he rips it and pins you by the wrists to the bed. he glares down at you before leaning down your neck and inhaling your scent and leaving dark bruises behind.
"i was thinking about fucking you real nice and slow tonight. but after you decided to act like a whore, i'm gonna treat you like one. how's that sound baby." he mocks you and caresses you clothed pussy before pulling them off your legs.
"rafe.." you whine when he uses his buff arms to spread your legs as much as they could go. you start to hyperventilate from his threat, and cover your face so you don't have to watch him violate you. his thumb rubs at your clit, and the other hand starts to stroke his cock. the tip showing how angry he truly was.
without a warning your boyfriend slams into your pussy, barley wet and prepped. you weren't adjusted to the size of him.
"ow fuck!" you squealed and immediately tried to seek comfort by grabbing onto rafe's bicep, this only seemed to piss him off more and he pulled out and flipped you onto your stomach.
"you're not allowed to touch me. just lay there and be a good fuck toy for me to use." he gives your ass a hard before forcing his way back into you, the burn and lack of proper lubrication makes you shoot up again but he didn't let you move an inch. this sort of roughness was familiar, yet every time it never fails to terrify you.
"stay the fuck down." his large hand pushes down on the middle of your back, naturally putting you into a face down ass up position. just the way he liked it. your body shakes and trembles in fear when your boyfriends thrusts get harder.
"rafe please it hurts so bad i cant take it" you sobs getting louder, rafe lowers himself closer to you and grabs your throat cutting off your breathing.
"your pussys sucking me right in angel, i think you can." he sneered, your crying and begging seemed to anticipate him even further as he loses all his restraint. you knew you couldn't stop him. its just the way your relationship worked.
he would get mad and then take his anger out on you, and youd let him. why? because you know what he's capable of, the holes displayed throughout your guys bedroom were everyday reminders to not push him too far. but in a way, it made you feel safe and wanted. rafe would do anything to protect you and keep you away from the dangers of the outside world.
"you're starting to get wet shitttt" rafe moaned and releases your throat, both his hands grab onto your hips for leverage as he speeds up his pace hitting the good spots deep inside you. not caring about how there was going to be fingermark bruises later. you hiccup as you try to control the sounds of your crying, using a pillow as comfort while he ruins you from behind.
inevitably your stomach starts to tighten and you feel yourself about to cum, your boyfriend moves one of his hands to your hair and tugs on it. resulting in a moan from you, the other hand moves down to your clit and rubs circles.
"you gonna cum baby? cum on my dick." he orders, he was fucking you so hard and greedily that the sounds of his thrusts and skin colliding were echoing in the room. your body caved into the sensations and you felt yourself fall apart on him.
"thats it squirt all over it, make a fucking mess for me. god you're such a little slut." he coos. the overstimulation of his cock hitting your cervix over and over again made you fucked out to the point of of passing out.
"so fucking tight" his vulgar words fill your ears, he gives your pussy rough slaps and you push against him. you yelped in surprise, eyes widening when you notice that rafes thrusts started to get sloppier.
"no.. no rafe! rafe you cant, we cant!" you protested in between moans, he only laughed in response. trying to push yourself away from him but he easily overpowered you. grabbing both of your arms and pinning them behind your back.
"dont tell me what to do, you did this to yourself." he breathes heavily as he filled you to the brim with him cum, he stayed there for a moment fucking it in as deep as he could before pulling out. enjoying the view of your pretty pussy sucking him right in. your eyes squinted in disgust when you felt his seed slide down your thighs.
rafe got up to clean himself but left you lying on the bed, you definitely werent walk right now and you were so overwhelmed with everything that happened. your conscious couldnt take anymore and your eyes starting tearing up.
"why are you crying." he sat on the edge of the bed and examined your state cluelessly. he scooted closer to you and opened the drawer next to the bed and grabbed a towel, cleaning you with it. you both sat in silence until rafe decided to pick you up and make his way to your actual bedroom.
"youre so mean to me.. you know that." you sniffle into his hard chest and draw circles on it with your finger. he doesn't respond but you know he heard it because he gave you a light squeeze before laying you down on the large bed. he takes his place next to you and turns away from you.
you sigh and turn to face his back, engulfing him in a hug. rafe initially tenses up but then relaxed in your arms. slowly you begin to knock out but before you do, you were sure you heard a brief
"im sorry" from rafe.
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blueywrites · 4 months
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someday I'll get it
eddie munson x fem!reader eddie comforts you when the lingering memory of your ex brings shame with soaked sheets.
3.1k
cw: 18+. toxic ex, feelings of self-doubt, referenced verbal abuse, hurt/comfort, smut, squirting, first time piv with new partner, no y/n, no physical descriptions.
this is for my fellow infps & all the girlies who fall fast and hard. a bit of a departure from the other naughty nights entries - not as filthy, quite a bit more emotional. I really liked writing it! check out the original ask here.
enjoy xx
Two months after you and David broke up, you downloaded Hinge. Your best friend helped you make your profile, and after some careful crafting over brunch mimosas to soften the flaws you saw in your photos and loosen your lips to make you clever in your bio, you were happy with the facsimile of yourself you’d presented to the dating public. The nerves only crept in during the Uber ride back to your apartment. What if no one liked you? What if what David said— that you’d never find someone that cared about you like he did— turned out to be right? You knew, deep down, that David’s idea of ‘care’ was not what you wanted. But as the weeks went by, your hope began to dwindle; your heart shriveled a little more each time a potential connection faltered and died. And though you kept reminding yourself how bad things were with him, how small he made you feel and how little he truly gave you, you couldn’t help the fragment inside you that hissed in a raspy twang:
Maybe I’m all you’re good enough for. Maybe my love is all you really deserve, and without me, you’ll just end up alone.
And then you found Eddie. 
His was the first conversation that lasted longer than a handful of back-and-forth messages, aside from that one rushed first ‘date’ that turned out just to be an attempt to get some dick’s dick wet. Eddie was chatty, maybe a bit excessively so, but you’d take that over the dry single-sentence replies most guys seemed capable of. It was refreshing not to be the one sending double- and triple-texts for once. And he didn’t do it in an anxious way, either, or one that made you feel you weren’t answering quickly enough. It seemed more that he just wanted to talk to you about whatever popped into his head, and that— along with his pretty brown eyes and smile, his lobe piercings and hand tattoos, and that one blurred photo of him playing guitar on some cramped bar stage, looking all sweaty and alive— piqued your interest in a major way.
Eventually, he took you on a first date, which was followed quickly by a second. And after a full month or so of officially seeing one another, now, following an afternoon spent together, you’re in your bed with him— laid out along your sheets, his weight having dipped the mattress beside you enough times that it’s just starting to feel familiar. 
Looking up at Eddie above you, you’re hit again by how sexy he is, sexier than his Hinge profile would’ve suggested, even though that initial photo made your finger pause in the first place. In it, his hair was tied up at the nape of his neck; it’s loose now, hanging around his pale face in loose tangles ‘cause you’d run your fingers through it while he kissed you. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and it is again, except now there’s the pink flush of arousal across his cheeks and a sheen of sweat gleaming off the bulb of his soft nose, visible in the dim light from your lamp. That first time you saw him, Eddie's fingers were wrapped around a tattoo gun, frozen mid-stroke as he carefully etched ink into skin. Now, they’re quite in motion— just as deft and strong, but instead of using them to crawl the needle across the expanse of someone’s back, he’s plunging them into your swollen pussy, winding you up tighter and tighter ‘til you’re writhing on your own sheets.
He’s been at it for a little while now, coaxing your pleasure out with those thrusting fingers and the rough pad of his thumb swiping over your clit. You moan, letting your eyes slip closed as your orgasm starts to rush up, ready to let that wave wash over you before you happily return the favor. But when Eddie presses the heel of his palm firmly into your lower stomach, flicking his thumb faster against your clit as he fingers you, your mounting pleasure twists, thrumming into something more intense. 
Oh, fuck. 
The feeling is ecstasy but beneath it, there’s also panic. Because you know— and dread— what comes next. 
You gasp, choking on the words of warning stuck in your throat, your hand snapping to grip his wrist. You mean to pull it off but you don’t, just clutch him tight in a way he must take as encouragement because he starts to talk you through it. “That’s it, sweetheart, soak my fuckin’ hand—”
It’s inevitable now, so you stop trying to fight it. Like a flipped switch, you release the resistance, leaning into the feeling, which triples in size the moment you do. You seize up, crying out as you cum around Eddie’s fingers— eyelids fluttering, mouth hanging open, the gush of fluid against your inner thighs a secondary sensation to the gut-wrenching orgasm wracking your body. When it subsides, your body feels wrung out in the best way, sunken into the mattress, languid and boneless and like you’re so light you might float away if Eddie wasn’t pressing kisses into your neck like praise.
The peace has to break though. It always does. The second you shift and feel the sodden sheets below you, that familiar shame triggers, quick on the heels of a cruel twang bouncing around your skull. 
You draw your legs up, inadvertently kneeing Eddie in the belly. When he pulls back to look at you, you’re curling into yourself, staring up at him so mournfully his heart must twist ‘cause you can see it written on his face.
He searches your face for a moment. Then Eddie’s eyes widen and his face blanches; you see the concern give way to horror. His adam’s apple bobs on a thick swallow. “A-Are you okay?” Eddie croaks, hovering awkwardly now, seemingly stuck between wanting to reach for you and give you space. “Did I hurt you? Did you not want—?”
He looks sick, but you’re quick to shake your head, feeling even sadder now that you’d made him worry. “No, m’sorry,” you say in a small voice. “I’m so sorry, I’m— I didn’t mean to.” You take a breath that hitches in your chest. “I-I made a mess…”
Instantly, Eddie looks relieved. He even huffs a little disbelieving chuckle. "So? You think I care about a little mess?" he asks, squinting as he tips his head at you, aiming for levity. But his attempt to make light of things can't break through to you— not after all the times you've been here before, cowering in your own cooling puddle as David beat you down with his caustic words, leaving you with bruises on the inside of your ribs. 
When your expression crumples further, any amusement slides off Eddie's face, leaving him utterly somber. Quietly, he says your name. "Are you alright?"
Your mouth works soundlessly for a moment before you find your voice. It feels jagged, like it’s been broken apart and splintered back together. “My ex… he used to get really mad when that happened. Said it was gross, that it was my fault now he’d have to wash the sheets.” An ache rises up your throat, and you avert your eyes. “He’d make me do it and change the bed before I could go to sleep.”
A severe wrinkle forms between Eddie’s brows— confusion, indignation, maybe both. “Wait, but— couldn’t he feel it coming? It feels different inside when a girl’s gonna squirt. Why would he keep doing it if he didn’t want you to?” He’s plain, as direct as he always is, and in the face of such a bald question, you have nothing to reply with but the barest shrug of shoulders weighed heavy under a burden you haven’t yet been able to shed.
When some seconds pass in silence, Eddie realizes you aren’t going to elaborate. He softens. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “For what it’s worth, sex is supposed to be messy. And I really wanted to make you feel good. I’m glad I did.”
You can’t see them, but you can feel his fingertips brush against your ankle. When you nudge into the touch, he places a tentative hand on your foot, letting his thumb press into the center just below your toes. He raises his eyebrows, looking something like a puppy dog. “D’you wanna take a break? Can I get you some water?”
You shake your head, then open your hands to him— not quite able to extend your arms out for a hug, feeling too brittle and pathetic to make your wanting so obvious. You find with relief that Eddie is perceptive enough to know what the gesture means. Carefully, he leans over you and plants his palms beside your upper arms, sliding them under to fold you in. When he goes to lower himself in a slant on top of you, you let your knees fall open in a silent invitation instead. You’re very happy you did when, after some mutual shifting and shimmying to make yourselves comfortable, Eddie’s weight slots against you— your collarbone to his chest, his lap held in the cradle of your thighs, your arms wound underneath his to clutch his bare back as he presses you into a comforting embrace.
You focus on the feeling of Eddie on top of you— his belly expanding and contracting against your navel, his heat seeping into you head-to-toe, his herb-musk scent clinging to his shoulder when you tuck your face there, slowly letting him ease you. For a while, you breathe into him like that, letting yourself sink into the intimacy of all his bare skin against yours until the physical sensations swallow up that hissing voice, and it finally falls silent. With a heavy sigh of relief, the last of the lingering tension from the memory of David leaves you. 
Finding you now relaxed, Eddie hums against your hair, a rumble that sounds like satisfaction with himself that he was able to bring you comfort. He untucks one of his hands from beneath you then, shifts his arm along your sheets so his forearm frames your head. You pull your face from his hot skin, letting your head thump back against the mattress as the final surrender to your recovery. 
Eddie’s thumb strokes along your hairline as he looks down at you, his hips cradled by yours, his flagging but still present erection pressed intimately against the crease of your thigh behind his boxers. Quickly, you realize how much easier it was to be embraced like this when he wasn’t looking at you. Under his gaze, you feel exposed, almost too much to bear-- too vulnerable, your soft underbelly revealed for him to sink his teeth into. But he doesn't. Maybe, you think, Eddie never would. Where David had fangs, Eddie's teeth are blunted; capable of damage if he were to try hard enough, but more suited to playful nips, which is all he ever seems to care for anyways, at least for how little long you've known him. He's still new, and you're still learning how it feels for him to see you and decide what he'll do with what he finds. 
It's thrilling and downright scary to let him, but you let him. You blink up at Eddie, deliberately resisting the urge to master your expression and hide from him. Your heart thuds and squirms as he observes you for a long moment, still stroking your forehead with his thumb like you're a skittish rabbit, kept only from fleeing by a gentle, hypnotizing touch. 
After a long moment, Eddie's features ease. One corner of his lips tugs up into a crooked, dimpled smile. "Pretty girl," he murmurs, and something releases inside you. Your hands skate down the hot plain of his back, skimming slowly over its topography-- the elegant jut of his shoulder blades, the solid strength of his lats, the low, curved dip just before the hill of his covered cheeks. Those you spread your fingers over, gently pulling him in closer to you, and you flutter at the shaky breath he exhales over your lips as his shaft presses tighter between your bodies.
"You want to?" he whispers, his eyes flitting between yours. You know what he’s asking. In the month you’ve been together, you’ve done pretty much everything but gone all the way with him. You weren’t waiting for anything in particular, more just a sense that it would feel right to connect with him that way.
You feel that now.
So you respond with a kiss— firm, decisive, one that Eddie opens his mouth instantly to. His tongue finds yours eagerly, slick muscle against slick muscle, and the wet sounds of you meeting and parting have your arousal stirring up into a flurry of excitement and desire. Your fingertips ease beneath the waistband of his boxers, pushing the fabric down to bare him, and you crane your neck to keep kissing him until eventually you can’t reach any lower. Eddie helps you shimmy them off then, his lips falling still as he concentrates on wiggling his hips and kicking his legs to get them down to his ankles. You feel him kick one final time, followed by the faint shlump of fabric hitting the ground before he’s suddenly propped on his elbows and his hands are cupping your cheeks, tilting your face to kiss you so thoroughly it steals your breath away.
And you think— expect, maybe— that now that you’re about to have sex, the energy between you and Eddie will keep escalating until you’re caught up in a rush: both panting, desperate, fervent in your need for completion. But it doesn’t happen like that. Instead, your kisses slow, turning into lingering, open-mouthed presses, a sensual ebb and flow of lips and tongue and teeth— deep, savoring, as if the pleasure of what you’ll both feel when he joins with you is so certain, there’s no need to hurry it along. You raise your knee to open yourself up, and with a nudge of Eddie’s narrow hips, his shaft nestles into the slick wetness between your puffy lips. You press up to meet him, grinding slowly in time with your kisses until your abundant arousal coats him thoroughly, easing the way for you to reach down and guide his tip to catch at your entrance. And when you lift your legs, joining your ankles at the back of his thighs, you feel Eddie enter you for the first time.
There’s no resistance. It’s just a slip, a glide, and an exquisite stretch as he sinks inside, splitting you with his thickness. Eddie moans low as his cockhead meets the deepest part of you. It’s a gravelly sound, one that rumbles against your breasts when you twine your limbs tighter around him, already covetous of the feeling of him touching every bit of you he possibly can. Your pussy flexes and flutters, testing the welcome intrusion, preening when she elicits an answering twitch from his length before he draws just slightly back and rocks in again. You sigh softly, smiling as your eyes slip closed when you feel Eddie’s curved lips press to your temple. 
The rhythm you find together is natural, if rather shallow— shallow because your hands are clutching at his back and his arms are wrapped tight around you, keeping you close as can be. He can’t pull even halfway out; his hips rock in the barest gap that remains as if neither of you can stand even that much distance. There’s no lack of enthusiasm, though, no lack of passion as he pushes in so tight that the pressure has your swollen clit jolting with a delicious spark on every thrust. The heat between you grows, turning you sticky and damp with sweat down the length of your bodies. The pleasure grows too, quickly for you with all the stimulation until you’re panting against his shoulder. It grows unimpeded until Eddie nestles his face down further toward you, inadvertently feeding you a mouthful of his hair.
You turn your cheek and try to spit it out, but the thick, dry strands stick stubbornly to your lips until you have to enlist his help. "Your hair's everywhere, Eddie,” you murmur, more amused than anything.
"Ah, shit.” You have to hide a smile against his jaw at how put out he sounds. “Sorry." He tries to shake it away from you, craning his neck back but unwilling to stop embracing you.
"S' okay." Gently, you extract your arms from under his, huffing a little chuckle at the tiny whine of protest that rumbles in his throat. He props himself up so you can carefully clear his face: nudging his bangs out of his eyes, then pushing back the bulk of his curls, tucking them tenderly behind his ears. 
"There," you say, sweet and warm, your smile growing at the way the hair almost springs right out again. Unable to be contained, a lot like Eddie. 
A lot like the way you feel about him. 
"I love your hair," you tell him suddenly, your heart twisting at the way he lights up in response. Eddie rubs the very tip of his nose against yours, smiling boyish and wide, and emotion wells up inside you-- potent and poignant like the sting of happy tears, sweet like coming home and tender like a bruise all at once. 
And it’s like the second you say it, you can’t stop thinking about what words really want to spring from your lips. But it's too soon, far too soon, so you cup his face, draw your thumb along his cheek, and kiss him instead, keeping yourself occupied so those words will stay inside.
You kiss him until he’s moving steadily within you again; kiss him until you’re squirming beneath him, whining into his mouth. Kiss him as he drives you over the edge of bliss and then follows you, groaning when he throbs and spills inside. You kiss Eddie until the pleasure fades into contentment, until you both are sated, until those kisses gradually slow and gentle and turn to chaste presses of swollen, love-bitten lips.
Your mouths finally part. And when you see the way Eddie’s looking at you— the curl at the corner of his lips, the subtle tilt of his brow, the warmth in his deep brown eyes— you remember what David told you before you made him leave.
You’ll never find someone who cares about you the way I do.
You knew he was wrong then. But now, you know it.
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mayajadewrites · 4 months
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toxic - toji fushiguro
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✦ synopsis: toji fushiguro is your ex husband/baby daddy of your children, Megumi and Isla. It's been 2 years since your divorce and things have been nothing short of toxic. toji has probably slept with most of the city, while you've had 1 boyfriend within the past 2 years that never even met the kids. one day when toji drops off the kids, he smells another man's cologne on you.
✦ content warnings: toji fushiguru x fem! reader, 18+ unprotected sex, toji is toxic af (still luv him tho), lactation kink, angst, infidelity (don't do this pls), mentions of pregnancy, reader can speak Spanish.
You hear the sound of tires rolling onto your driveway signaling that your children are home from their weekend at their fathers.
You just got back from a man's house, a man that you've been seeing for a few weeks. He's sweet, kind, and doesn't make you feel crazy.
You heard your children giggling outside of the door, ready to come in the house and play.
"Mommy!" The younger one, Isla said as you opened the front door.
"Hi my babies." You hugged both of them tightly - Megumi is 6 and Isla is 4. "Did you have fun at daddy's house?"
"We did! Daddy brought us to the pool and I can finally swim without swimmies!" Megumi smiled as he leaned into your leg.
"Ay, we didn't discuss him taking his swimmies off yet." You glared at the tall man leaning against the doorframe through your lashes. Your accent comes off a little strong when you're angry.
"He was ready." Toji shrugged. He's wearing a tight, black t-shirt and black jeans to match. He's very muscular, he could probably lift you with his pinky. His biceps looked like they were about to rip through his sleeves.
"Can daddy stay for dinner?" Isla pulled on the hem of your shirt. "I heard his tummy growling in the car."
You looked at your two beautiful children, then at Toji. "Sure."
Megumi and Isla cheered as they ran to their rooms. You walked into the kitchen to stir the sauce you were preparing for dinner.
Toji followed you into the kitchen silently, like a predator stalking their prey.
"You know where the TV is." You waved your hand without even looking at him.
"I'm looking at you, mama." Toji's mouth formed into a smirk.
"Well take a picture it'll last longer. Then leave me alone." You pressed your hand to your hip as you stirred.
"I have a lot of pictures of you already. Videos, too."
"You're disgusting." You started boiling a pot of water for the pasta. "Were the kids okay this weekend?"
"Yeah." Toji slid onto the barstool. "They're always good."
"Mm." You nod. You know they're good because of you. Toji is around as much as he can be, but he likes to sleep around with various women which can take up a lot of time.
"Isla has your eyes." Toji leaned on the kitchen island, his eyes burning a trail on your body from head to toe.
"Maybe that's because I birthed her. Have you been making sure they learn Spanish when they're at your house?"
"I don't speak Spanish. So no. That's something you do."
"We both have to do it or else they won't learn. Megumi can speak pretty well in Spanish, but Isla wants to be just like you so she hasn't been speaking it. When I talk to her in Spanish, she answers in English."
"I mean, that means she understands, right?"
You sucked your teeth. "Fuck!" You yelped as you burn your hand.
Toji ran to you, pressing his body against yours as you examine your burn. You felt his hard abs on your back - you remember how sculpted he is. Like a fucking Greek God.
"I don't need your help." You swat his hand away as he tries to grab your hand.
Toji stands still for a moment, his head leaning down toward your neck. You can feel his breath dance along your skin before he inhales deeply through his nose.
"Where were you today?" His voice was low, almost a whisper.
"None of your damn business." You take your not burnt hand and push his chest gently so he's farther away from you.
"You don't smell like the perfume you usually wear."
"Nice observation." You raised your eyebrows. "What do you want me to say?" You placed both of your hands on the counter. "I have needs, Toji. And unlike you - standards. I'm lucky if I can find one man that I can go on more than 1 date with."
"What's his name?" He walks opposite of you to the other side of the counter.
"What is this, 21 questions? He's not meeting the kids any time soon so him and his name don't concern you."
"Can he fuck that pretty little pussy better than me?" His voice was smooth like velvet.
But one thing about you - you know all of Toji's tricks. You know what makes him tick. What makes his eye twitch.
"Matter of fact, he does. He stuffs me full." You emphasize the word 'full', biting your lower lip before you say the word.
"Tsk." Toji pushed the barstool into the kitchen island and walked into the living room. You knew that would get him the hell away from you.
"That was yummy mommy! Thank you." Megumi gave you a toothy smile as you took his plate. "Can daddy start my bath?"
"He absolutely can." You catch yourself glaring at Toji as you speak. He's been suspiciously silent since your discussion in the kitchen.
Isla helped (as much as she could) clean up the kitchen as Toji helped Megumi with his bath. Then he helped with Isla and her bedtime routine. You could hear her giggling in the bathroom as he played with her.
You and Toji tucked Isla in first in her room, then Megumi in his room. They both seemed so happy to see both of their parents in the same place. Not arguing, at least in front of them, for once.
"Goodnight baby." You push Megumi's hair to the side and kiss his forehead. He looks just like Toji it's scary.
"Night mommy, night daddy." Toji kissed Megumi's cheek.
You closed his door gently and walked to what used to be your shared room with Toji. "Get home safe." You say as you start to brush your hair.
"Never said I was leaving, mama." Toji walked into your room and closed the door gently, careful not to wake the kids.
"This is my house, the kids are asleep so you have no excuse to be here." You turn to face Toji thinking he was a few feet from you.
When you turn, you almost hit yourself in the face with his chiseled chest. How is he so quiet?
"I do have an excuse to be here." Toji brought his calloused hand to your cheek, caressing it gently. "You."
"Don't touch me." You swat his hand away. "You can leave now."
"We're just getting started sweetheart." Toji peered at you through his long lashes. "Your boyfriend won't mind, will he?"
"He will mind." You take a step back from him. "I don't want to fuck the city's community dick."
"You loved this dick before, 'member baby?" Toji took a step toward you. "You used to beg me to give you another baby."
"Keyword is used to." You place your hand on his chest and push gently. "You make me crazy, Fushiguro. I don't want to feel crazy anymore."
"Mm, say my name again." Toji whispered, his eyes moving from your eyes to your chest. "You wore that lace number for me, didn't ya doll?"
You didn't answer. Instead, you turned around on your heel and walked toward your bed. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."
"We're just getting started baby girl." He grabbed your wrist, pulling you back into him.
"I'm seeing someone Toji, I can't." You look up into his dark blue eyes. "I like him. I really, really like him."
"Well isn't that just the sweetest thing." He dragged his finger along the side of your face, trailing to your chin. "He doesn't have to know."
You inhaled Toji's familiar scent, memories flooding of your failed marriage into your mind. You can't lie, you've thought about having sex with Toji a lot. Especially right after the divorce. The first few women he slept with after you bruised your ego, but after that you decided to be done wishing he would come back.
Done wishing he would act right.
But damn, do you miss his dick.
"Come on, baby. Let me make you feel good." Toji leaned into your space, pressing his lips against yours slowly. Your lips were like magnets when they met, refusing to take even a breath because you want to savor the moment.
You buried your hands in his straight, black hair as he lifts you up effortlessly, his hands planted on the fat of your ass.
"Damn, this thing got bigger didn't it?" Toji gave your ass cheek a squeeze as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You moaned at the new sensation in your mouth, your core already heating up.
"Bed, mmm, now." You suck on his tongue gently, saliva connecting your mouths when you pull away from each other.
Toji threw you on your back onto the bed gently, watching your tits jiggle in your lace tank top. He caged you with his sculpted arms as he kissed your skin from your neck, to your chest, your soft stomach, to the top of your sweatpants.
"I can't believe you carried my two beautiful children in there." Toji kissed your stomach, a spot you've always been insecure about. "I'm gonna give you 'nother one, mama." He growled as he pulled down your sweatpants swiftly. "No panties, hm? You wanted this to happen, didn't you?"
Your cheeks burn red and you cover your face with your hands.
"I've seen all of you, baby. No point in hiding." His large, heavy hands landed on top of yours as he moved your hands off your face.
In that moment, it felt like there was no one in the word but you and Toji. Like it was the beginning of your relationship and you were obsessed with each other.
Like it used to be.
Toji got lost in your eyes for a moment before pressing his lips to yours for a deep, affectionate kiss. It wasn't like the frenzied kiss from before.
He wanted to remember this moment.
With his ex wife.
The mother of his children.
You cradle his face in your dainty hands as you kiss him, letting your tongue slip in and out of his mouth.
"Missed you, mama." He whispered against your lips.
You didn't verbally answer, only deepening the kiss in response. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of saying you missed him too.
Even though you did.
And actions speak louder than words.
Toji knew how to take care of your body. He did for years. He starts with your mouth, then he leaves love bruises bites on your neck, making his way to your chest. Arguably his favorite part of your body.
After you had your children, your body changed a lot. You were never chiseled like Toji, you were always soft, but the kids made your tits bigger, your stomach softer, and your hips wider.
Toji's lips attached to your collarbone as he left a trail of heated kisses to your right breast, using his hand to gently pull down the delicate lacey fabric.
"These tits, my God." Toji flicked your nipple with his index finger. "I can't believe I've been without them for so long."
You moaned softly at the contact, your body seemingly remember how many times Toji has made you come. How many times he's pleasured you to the point that you couldn't walk. You arched your back towards him at his touch.
"Easy, mama. Let me savor this moment, yeah?" His eyes were locked on yours as he brought his mouth to your hard nub, his hand kneading your left breast. He sucked gently as he stared into your eyes, refusing to break eye contact.
"Fuck, Toji." You arch your back again, bringing your hand to the back of his head as he sucks on your tit.
"Remember when these were full of milk? And you let me try it?" His smirk was sinister.
You bit down on your bottom lip, thinking about when you discovered one of Toji's many kinks.
"Answer me." He let go of your nipple with a 'pop'.
"Y-yes." You nod, pulling on his hair gently.
"I'm gonna put another baby in you, and we're doing that again."
"Toji," You moan his name at the thought of him covering your insides with his juices.
"You want me to, don't ya?" Toji was at your other nipple now, giving it the same attention as the other.
You nod when he bites your nipple when you don't answer him verbally. "Don't act like I don't know how you fuck, baby." He sucked on the skin next to your nipple, leaving a purple and red bruise that will for sure be sore tomorrow.
"I need you." You whine when his lips meet yours again.
"You're missing something there." Toji teased. "You need to use your words mama."
"I need you, Daddy."
Toji flipped the both of you over so he was now laying on the bed, maneuvering himself to lean on the headboard as he pulled you on his lap. He attacked your lips with frenzied kisses as you palmed his erection that's pressing against his sweatpants.
He's so, so big. So girthy. You wondered if he would still be able to fit inside you.
"No one touches me like you do, baby girl." Toji grabbed your face with his hands as he continued to kiss you.
He used one hand to press your cheeks together, a smile forming on his face as he looks at your chubby cheeks. "You're so damn beautiful."
You slid your palm back to his hard cock, rubbing it gently on top of the fabric. You feel your core ache as you touch him - your fingers tracing along the length.
"Ride me." Toji leaned into your ear and whispered before he kissed your earlobe.
He didn't have to ask you twice.
He quickly removed his sweatpants and boxers, his large length slapping against his stomach. You moan at the sight. He's beautiful.
You throw your pajama pants to the side, your core wet and hot, waiting for his cock to fill you.
You stare at him for a moment - he's naked, on your bed, waiting for you to sit on his cock. You kissed the scar at the corner of his mouth before gently grabbing his length to align him with your needy pussy.
You never needed lube with Toji, even with how big he is. He always knew how to get you going.
He gently planed his hands on your hips and guided you down his length, both of you moaning at the contact. His size stretched you out, and inch by inch he watched his cock disappear inside of you.
Once you took all of him, you gained your rhythm. You placed your hands on his shoulders as you grind your hips against his.
"Atta girl." He slapped your ass as you moved up and down his length. "I missed you so much." He placed one of his hands on the small of your back, helping you keep up with your pace.
Toji loved when you moved your ass as you rode him, so you made sure you threw it back every time his eyes were on you.
"This pussy was made for me." He threw his head back as squelching, lewd sounds filled the room. He started pumping into you more - he's close.
"Toji," You moan loudly as his he brings his hands to your sensitive clit, rubbing circles as your body bounces on him. Your body twitches soon after. You're close.
"Come on mama, you know the rules. You come first."
Your pussy tightens around his length, his fingers still rubbing you as your mind explodes with euphoria. You ride out your orgasm, Toji thrusting into you roughly with disoriented strokes.
You feel his cock twitch inside of you as he pulls you down one last time, filling you up with his seed. It was almost leaking out of you.
Neither of you move from your position. You stare at each other, the thoughts and sounds of what just happened replaying in your heads.
"I did miss you." He whispered as he pressed his lips to yours.
"Mm." You kissed him back, afraid to get off his cock. You missed him too.
When you finally got off each other Toji suggested you shower together. The warm water mixed with the scents of your coconut body wash made it all the more sensual.
So you fucked again.
Soapy thrusts as he had to pinned to the wall, ass facing him.
"Love watching you from here." His eyes were glued on your ass bouncing against his cock. The suds from the soap slid down your skin, creating more lewd squelches.
You woke up in bed with your ex husband's strong, sculpted arms around you.
The sunlight snuck into the room through your blinds, the warmness kissing your skin. Your wearing your favorite pajama set, Toji's sweatpants hanging off of his hips, his v-line exposed.
Then you hear your door swing open.
"Mommy!" You hear Megumi's cute voice. "Wait, daddy? You slept over?"
Toji's eyes flew open. He looked at Megumi before grabbing him and pulling him in between you and Toji. Isla climbed into your bed soon after. You hugged both your children, and the father of your children.
The bed was full of giggles - Toji tickling both his babies and lifting them in the air. You haven't heard Megumi laugh like this in months.
You missed this. You missed your family.
You bring one of your hands to your stomach, your insides coated with Toji.
And you can't help but hope there's another little Fushiguro growing inside of you.
755 notes · View notes
songbirdseung · 7 months
Text
mr. green flag / park jongseong
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synopsis: after dating the wrong guys, you wanted to give up love and relationships. although, a man named park jongseong changed things for you.
pairing: nonidol!jay x nonidol!yn
warnings: cheating, red flag boyfriends, love triangles, cuss words
The bartender was most likely your best friend now since you basically came to the bar every week or two. Crying over a guy who definitely not worth your tears and time. But the bartender was very understanding of your situation and tried his very best to provide comfort and reassurance.
You found out his name was Terry. He's been working at the bar as his second job just to make extra money. Such a nice genuine guy, someone you wish you could date but for some reason, the universe hated your guts, or you just did so horrible in your past life that you need to be punished in this life.
"Okay, last one for tonight. You still got to drive yourself home" he slides your drink towards you with a serious but caring look on his face. "When are you going to break up with that douchebag?" all the arrows pointed to breaking up with him, but since you were so blinded, you couldn't just let him go. As stupid as it was, you loved him despite all the foolish and childish things he has done to you.
"I love you; I do. But I hate seeing you walk through the door with a frown on your face and tears running down your face. It's time you be single or date a good guy" terry doesn't know how many times he had already said these things to you, but he has to remind you every time.
On the drive home, you were dreading it. What if you open the door to your shared apartment with your boyfriend and see him banging another girl? why did you have to be so stupid and such a coward, why couldn't you just say the words "let's break up" or "I'm done" then follow up with a "get out of my apartment" then be over with it.
Luckily for you, the universe wanted to be a little bit kinder to you, you opened the door to your apartment and no, your boyfriend wasn't hooking up with someone. But you knew, he probably already did earlier in the day. As you make your way into the kitchen to drink some medicine and water, you receive a text from terry.
terry: don't forget what I said earlier, you can't say you forgot because we both know you're not drunk.
You sigh and head to your bedroom where your boyfriend is playing video games. You turn on the light and he immediately spin around in his chair and starts yelling at how you disrupted his game.
This is it; you just have to do it. Just say the words yn. "I'm breaking up you, by tomorrow morning, I expect you to be out of this house and my life."
That was a whole month ago, now you were currently single and moving on. Instead of being at the bar with terry, you were at the mall. "I'm proud of you yn, it's been a month and from what I've notice, you're doing great" you smile and nod, "I honestly did not know where the confidence came from when I broke up with him."
You recall all the times you got broken up with by your past 2 boyfriends. they all treated you the way your 3rd boyfriend did. Realizing that all these three, when you started dating them, they would put up a persona, a facade as if they were good guys and they would treat you the way you deserved. They promised things that turned to be absolutely bullshit and empty promises. Then down the road, they would slowly show their true colors and behaviors.
"Maybe I'm meant to be single, maybe i should just give up on relationships" terry listens to your rants and future goals. Listing down all the things you want to do now since you were free from manipulators and controlling men. "Who knows, Mr. right is just around the corner" he pretends to look around, but you miss the real intention or message behind that remark from terry.
Relationships and love were now long gone from your life, and you wanted it to stay that way. Being in those toxic and shitty relationships, you lost yourself. Now it was time to bring that lively and passionate girl back. to do so, old passions, goals, dreams were revisited and worked on again. as months passed, the old you started to resurface. You felt happy, you felt like yourself.
Once day, you went to visit your family house, and in that house, there was a basement where your old stuff was placed in boxes. You placed them there so no one could mess with them and for your old room to be used for whenever they had guest over. Looking through your stuff, you reached over for your guitar that was in its case. The instrument that was your whole life. It was quite upsetting that whenever you would play guitar in your apartment, your ex would get mad at you, claiming how loud you were and how bad you were at playing. it caused you to stop and feel insecure over something you so sure of since you were little. You placed the guitar on your lap and started playing, you haven't played in a long time, but muscle memory was helping you so much.
You got back on your game, focusing on school and looking for a part time job to earn money. You were spending so much time with yourself, you forgot to spend quality time with your friends too. You had terry, chaeryoung, and jake. You weren't a group, but you used to hang out with them separately.
Putting down the paint brush and picking up the disregarded phone on the floor, you dial jake's number. After a few rings he picks up with a sassy but not serious tone. "You remember I exist huh, yn?" you laugh in an apology and ask him if he wants to go out. To which he agrees and tells you he'd be there to pick you up in 15 minutes.
Jake and you go way back, you met him in Australia when you were on vacation. Everyone in your family were appreciating the view as they were sight-seeing. But you were more interested in the golden border collie that was staring back at you and wagging her tail as you made grabby hands at her. Only being 10 years old, your parents didn't let you go anywhere unsupervised, so they kept a tight hold on you, but you just had to pet the cute puppy. With enough wiggling out of their grasp and run away. "Hi, can i pet your puppy?" looking up at the lady who was holding the leash. She gives you the green light and starts asking you questions. "what's your name?" "Where are your parents?" "How old are you?" obviously, you answered her with respect. later, a young boy, who seems to be the son of the lady comes up and says hi. A very friendly boy with an Australian accent asks you if you wanna be friends.
That's where it all began. it was a long-distance friendship, not until jake decided to go back to Korea. You two have been glued to each other's hip since then, he was there for you for everything, for the good and bad. he's seen all the men you'd dated and unlike terry who was the "good cop", jake was the "bad cop" telling you how it was and even if it had to be said in the harshest way, he'd say it. When you told him you ended your recent relationship, happy was an understatement with how Jake felt.
Today, he still is your best friend. "Jake, stop letting me win, it ain't fun that way" stern look on your face as you stare at your best friend who is standing by the goal post. "I'm not, you're just really good" he shrugs his shoulders with that award winning smile. "you're not even moving; you're not even blocking the ball" you whine as you walk up to him.
The whole day was probably spent with Jake, it was getting dark, and it was time to part ways. or so you thought. Jake comes back to you after taking a call from a friend. "Hey, my friend Sunghoon called me saying how he has two extra tickets to that movie we were just talking about, you wanna go?" saying yes, you alert your parents with a text, letting them know you'll be home late.
On the way Jake opens up the topic of romance, asking for an update. "you're not seeing any losers, aren't you?" he chuckles, and he looks at the sour face you made. "No, I'm going to stay single for a long time" emphasize on the word long.
The whole time, you just thought that it would be the three of you, that you only had to meet Sunghoon. But no, you were standing there, with maybe the most good-looking guy you have ever seen. Jake would probably disagree and say it was him. Once you arrive and jake found Sunghoon, you immediately greet him and share banter, then another guy comes from the bathroom and greets you as well.
"Hi, I'm jay. You must be jake's friend he keeps complaining about." He jokes, and when he smiled, you might have just melted, he turns to Sunghoon, and you saw how sharp his jawline was. He was incredibly handsome that it makes you question if you should really give up on love or not.
"What do you mean, complaining...jake?!" you slap jake's arm and face your whole body towards him. "What have you been saying to them?!" you kept slapping his arm until he stops laughing and taking a hold of you. "I tell them how crazily stupid you are when it comes to dating and how I am tired of trying to save your ass yn" he explained while laughing like there was no tomorrow.
"If I was dating you, I think I'd be the one crazily in love" jay speaks and it makes your mind literally stop working, the cogs in your brain stopped and malfunctioned. "Damn you just met her, and you're already smitten?" Sunghoon chuckles and shakes his head, leading you all towards the room where the movie was going to play.
As the movie played, you couldn't help but steal glances at Jay, his profile illuminated by the flickering light of the screen. Each time your eyes met, a playful smile danced on his lips, igniting a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the theater's heating.
When the credits finally rolled, and the lights brightened, Jay turned to you with a grin. "Well, that was a rollercoaster," he remarked, his voice light with amusement. You chuckled in agreement, feeling a sense of ease settle between you. "Definitely kept us on the edge of our seats," you replied, matching his playful tone.
Stepping out into the cool evening air, the bustling chatter of the crowd surrounding you faded into the background as you and Jay fell into conversation. It was effortless, as if you'd known each other for years rather than mere hours. You found yourselves sharing anecdotes, swapping stories, and delving into shared interests with an enthusiasm that felt electric.
"So, what's your favorite movie of all time?" Jay asked, his eyes alight with curiosity as he turned to you. You paused, considering his question with a thoughtful expression. "Hmm, tough one," you mused, a smile quirking at the corners of your lips. "But if I had to choose, I'd say 'Inception.' The whole concept of dreams within dreams just blows my mind."
Jay nodded, his own smile widening. "Ah, a fellow fan of mind-bending plots," he replied, a hint of admiration in his voice. "I'm more of a 'Shawshank Redemption' guy myself. Can't beat a classic."
As you continued to chat and laugh together, the connection between you deepened, each shared moment cementing the bond that seemed to grow stronger with every passing second. It was a feeling unlike any you'd experienced before, a sense of belonging and understanding that left you yearning for more.
And as you walked side by side, the city lights casting a gentle glow upon your faces, you couldn't shake the feeling that this unexpected encounter with Jay was just the beginning of something truly extraordinary.
After the movie, as you all parted ways, Jay lingered, asking if you'd like to grab a coffee sometime. His smile was genuine, his eyes kind, and in that moment, you felt a glimmer of hope stir within you. Maybe, just maybe, there was something worth exploring beyond the scars of your past relationships.
As you said goodbye to Jay and watched him walk away with a quickening heart, Jake nudged you playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone's got a fan," he teased, grinning mischievously.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't suppress the smile that tugged at your lips. "Shut up, Jake," you replied, nudging him back. But deep down, you couldn't deny the warmth that Jay's presence had ignited within you, a flicker of possibility in a heart once shrouded in doubt.
In the days that followed your encounter with Jay, your mind became consumed with swirling doubts and questions, overshadowing the initial excitement and warmth you felt in his presence. Despite the undeniable chemistry and the effortless connection you shared, the scars of past heartbreaks loomed large, casting a shadow of uncertainty over your burgeoning feelings.
As you went about your daily routine, thoughts of Jay lingered in the back of your mind, a constant presence that refused to be ignored. You found yourself replaying your conversations, analyzing every word and gesture, searching for signs of hidden agendas or red flags that might betray his true intentions.
"What if I'm just setting myself up for another disappointment?" you whispered to yourself, the weight of past betrayals heavy on your shoulders. The fear of being hurt again, of having your trust shattered and your heart broken, threatened to suffocate the budding hope that had dared to take root in your chest.
You confided in your closest friends, seeking their advice and perspective on the situation. Terry offered words of encouragement, reminding you of your resilience and strength in overcoming past obstacles. "Don't let fear dictate your happiness," he urged, his voice gentle but firm. "Take a chance, yn. You deserve to find love again, and Jay might just be the one to help you rediscover it."
But despite Terry's reassurances, the nagging doubts persisted, gnawing at your confidence and filling your mind with endless what-ifs. What if history were to repeat itself? What if Jay turned out to be just like the others, another heartbreaker in disguise?
As you tossed and turned in bed, sleep eluding you in the late hours of the night, you couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty that gripped your heart. The prospect of opening yourself up to love once more felt both exhilarating and terrifying, a delicate balance between hope and fear that left you teetering on the edge of indecision.
With a sigh, you sank into the soft cushions, the weight of your worries pressing heavily upon you. "I just... I don't know what to do, Chaeryoung," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so afraid of getting hurt again, of making the same mistakes I've made in the past."
Chaeryoung listened attentively, her gaze unwavering as she reached out to gently grasp your hand in hers. "I understand, yn," she said softly, her voice filled with empathy. "But you can't let the fear of the past dictate your future. Sometimes, taking a chance on love means embracing the possibility of heartache, knowing that the journey is worth the risk."
You nodded, tears welling in your eyes as Chaeryoung's words struck a chord deep within you. "But what if I'm not strong enough to handle it?" you whispered, the fear of vulnerability threatening to consume you.
Chaeryoung squeezed your hand reassuringly, her expression filled with unwavering support. "You are stronger than you know, yn," she said firmly, her voice filled with conviction. "And you don't have to face this alone. I'll be here for you every step of the way, no matter what happens."
The day of your coffee date with Jay arrived, and despite the lingering doubts that still gnawed at the edges of your mind, you found yourself determined to embrace the opportunity with an open heart. As you stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down your outfit and running a nervous hand through your hair, you couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation mingled with trepidation.
When you arrived, Jay was already there, waiting patiently at a table near the window with a warm smile on his lips. As you approached, his eyes lit up with genuine delight, and you felt a rush of warmth flood your cheeks at the sight of him.
"Hey, yn, I'm so glad you could make it," Jay said, rising from his seat to greet you with a friendly hug. "You look amazing."
You returned his smile with a shy grin of your own, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly at his easygoing demeanor. "Thanks, Jay," you replied, feeling a surge of gratitude for his kindness and understanding.
As you settled into your seats and engaged in conversation, you found yourself swept away by Jay's charm and wit, his easy laughter and genuine interest in getting to know you better putting you at ease. With each passing moment, the doubts and insecurities that had plagued you began to fade into the background, replaced by a sense of connection and possibility that left you breathless with anticipation.
Midway through the date, as the conversation flowed effortlessly between you and Jay, you found yourself laughing at his animated retelling of a recent mishap at work. His eyes sparkled with amusement, his infectious laughter filling the air and drawing a smile to your lips.
"You wouldn't believe it," Jay exclaimed, his hands gesturing wildly as he recounted the comical series of events. "I swear, if it weren't for my quick thinking, we would have been knee-deep in paperwork!"
You chuckled, shaking your head in amusement. "Well, I'm glad you were able to save the day," you replied, unable to tear your gaze away from the twinkle in Jay's eyes. "Sounds like you're quite the hero."
Jay grinned, his dimples deepening as he leaned back in his chair. "Oh, you have no idea," he teased, his voice laced with playful exaggeration. "I've got a cape and everything."
The two of you shared a laugh, the tension easing between you as you basked in the warmth of each other's company. With each passing moment, you felt yourself growing more comfortable and at ease with Jay, the initial nerves of the date fading into the background as you lost yourself in the easy banter and shared laughter.
And as you shared another round of laughter with Jay, the doubts and insecurities that had once clouded your mind seemed to melt away, replaced by a growing sense of hope and possibility that whispered of new beginnings and endless horizons. With a smile on your lips and a lightness in your heart, you leaned in closer to Jay, eager to savor every moment of this unexpected journey that had brought you together.
As the evening drew to a close and the coffee shop began to empty out, you and Jay found yourselves lingering at your table, reluctant to part ways just yet. The easy conversation and shared laughter had created a bond between you that felt both comforting and exhilarating, leaving you reluctant to let the night end.
As you gathered your belongings and prepared to leave, Jay rose from his seat and offered you a warm smile. "Well, yn, I had a really great time tonight," he said sincerely, his eyes meeting yours with a gentle warmth that sent a flutter of excitement through your chest.
You returned his smile, feeling a sense of gratitude wash over you for the unexpected connection you had shared. "I did too, Jay," you replied, your voice soft with sincerity. "Thank you for such a wonderful evening."
As you made your way outside, the cool night air wrapping around you like a comforting embrace, Jay walked beside you in easy silence, his presence a reassuring presence at your side. The streets were quiet now, the bustling city fading into the background as you walked side by side, lost in your own thoughts.
When you finally reached your doorstep, you turned to face Jay, feeling a mixture of reluctance and anticipation swirling within you. "Well, this is me," you said with a hesitant smile, gesturing to the entrance of your building.
Jay nodded, his expression softening with a hint of regret. "Yeah, it is," he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "I wish we could stay out here all night."
You chuckled softly, feeling a pang of disappointment at the thought of saying goodbye so soon. "Me too," you admitted, your heart heavy with the weight of impending separation.
For a moment, the two of you stood in silence, the unspoken words hanging in the air between you like a delicate thread. And then, without warning, Jay reached out to gently grasp your hand in his, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through your veins.
"I really want to kiss you right now, yn," Jay said softly, his eyes meeting yours with a mixture of longing and respect. "But I don't want to rush things. I want to take things slow, and I want to make sure you feel comfortable every step of the way."
His words were like a balm to your weary heart, a reminder that not all men were like the ones who had hurt you in the past. And as you looked into Jay's eyes, you saw nothing but sincerity and kindness reflected back at you, filling you with a sense of warmth and gratitude that you hadn't felt in a long time.
With a grateful smile, you squeezed Jay's hand gently, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding and compassion. "Thank you, Jay," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I really appreciate that."
And as you stood there in the soft glow of the streetlights, the night stretching out before you like a canvas waiting to be painted, you knew that this unexpected encounter with Jay was just the beginning of a journey filled with hope, healing, and the promise of a love that was worth waiting for.
A few weeks had passed since your coffee date with Jay, and life had quickly resumed its hectic pace. Between work commitments, family obligations, and the occasional outing with friends, you found yourself swept up in a whirlwind of activity, the days blurring together in a haze of busyness and distraction.
Despite the outward appearance of normalcy, however, there was a lingering sense of restlessness that gnawed at the edges of your mind, a quiet unease that whispered of unresolved worries and unspoken fears. You had thrown yourself into your daily routines with a sense of determination and purpose, but beneath the surface, a part of you still felt adrift, searching for something elusive and intangible.
Your friends had noticed the change in you, their concerned glances and probing questions a constant reminder of the facade you had erected to shield yourself from their scrutiny. Terry, Chaeryoung, and Jake had all voiced their concerns, offering words of support and encouragement in their own unique ways, but you had brushed off their worries with a casual wave of your hand, insisting that you were fine and that there was nothing to be concerned about.
But deep down, you knew that wasn't entirely true. The truth was, you were struggling to keep up appearances, to maintain the facade of strength and resilience that you had carefully crafted to hide the vulnerability and uncertainty that lurked within. You were tired of pretending, tired of wearing a mask that no longer fit, but you didn't know how to let it go, how to break free from the chains that bound you to a life that felt increasingly hollow and unfulfilling.
It was on one such day, as you sat alone in your apartment, lost in a sea of thoughts and doubts, that there came a knock at your door. Startled from your reverie, you rose from your seat and made your way to the entrance, your heart pounding with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity.
When you opened the door, you were surprised to find Jay standing on the other side, his expression a mixture of concern and determination. "Hey, yn," he said softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of the turmoil that lay beneath the surface. "Can I come in?"
You hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say or how to explain the maelstrom of emotions that churned within you. But as you looked into Jay's eyes, you saw nothing but warmth and understanding reflected back at you, and you felt a sudden surge of gratitude for his unwavering support and compassion.
With a nod, you stepped aside to let Jay into your apartment, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between you. As he took a seat beside you on the couch, you felt a sense of relief wash over you at the prospect of finally opening up to someone who truly cared.
For a long moment, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound the soft hum of the air conditioning and the distant rumble of traffic outside. And then, at last, Jay spoke, his voice gentle and reassuring.
"yn, I've noticed that you've been… distant lately," he began, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "And I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Is everything okay?"
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke off your words. But before you could reply, Jay reached out to gently grasp your hand in his, his touch a comforting anchor in the storm of emotions that raged within you.
"You don't have to pretend with me, yn," Jay said softly, his voice filled with quiet understanding. "Whatever you're going through, whatever you're feeling… I'm here for you. You don't have to face it alone."
And in that moment, as you looked into Jay's eyes and saw the depth of his sincerity and compassion, you knew that you had found someone worth opening up to, someone who would stand by your side through thick and thin, no matter what challenges lay ahead.
With a grateful smile, you squeezed Jay's hand gently, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at the prospect of finally sharing your burdens with someone who truly cared. And as you began to open up to Jay, pouring out your fears and insecurities with a vulnerability you had never shown anyone before, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, replaced by a newfound sense of hope and optimism for the future.
In the days and weeks that followed, you found solace in the unwavering support and understanding of Jay, who stood by your side through every twist and turn of your journey. With his encouragement and guidance, you began to confront the demons of your past, slowly but surely breaking free from the chains that had bound you for so long.
Together, you navigated the highs and lows of life, sharing laughter and tears, triumphs and setbacks, as you embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. With Jay's love and support, you found the strength to confront your fears and insecurities head-on, embracing the challenges that lay before you with courage and resilience.
As your relationship with Jay blossomed and deepened, you found yourself constantly amazed by his thoughtfulness and consideration. Jay seemed to possess an innate understanding of your needs and boundaries, effortlessly navigating the intricacies of your heart with a sensitivity and empathy that left you feeling cherished and valued.
One evening, as you curled up on the couch together, lost in the pages of a book, Jay reached out to gently brush a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch light and tender against your skin. You looked up to find him gazing at you with an expression of quiet adoration, his eyes filled with a warmth that made your heart flutter with affection.
Without a word, Jay leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin in a silent promise of love and devotion. And in that moment, as you felt the weight of his affection wash over you like a soothing balm, you knew with a certainty that this was where you belonged, in the arms of a man who loved you unconditionally, flaws and all.
In the days and weeks that followed, Jay continued to show his affection in the small but meaningful ways that spoke volumes of his love for you. Whether it was leaving notes of encouragement tucked into your lunch bag, surprising you with your favorite meal after a long day, or simply wrapping you in a warm embrace when you needed it most, Jay's gestures never failed to brighten your day and fill your heart with joy.
But what touched you most deeply was the way Jay always respected your boundaries and comfort levels, never pushing you to do anything you weren't ready for or comfortable with. Instead, he met you where you were, showering you with love and affection in the ways that felt most natural and comfortable to you.
And as you snuggled close to Jay on the couch, his arms wrapped protectively around you, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the man who had come into your life and filled it with so much love and happiness. With Jay by your side, you knew that you were truly blessed, and you vowed to cherish every moment you shared together, knowing that the love you had found was a rare and precious gift that would last a lifetime.
And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, you found yourself growing stronger and more confident with each passing day, no longer defined by the scars of your past but by the boundless possibilities of your future.
In Jay, you found not only a lover but a confidant, a partner who shared your hopes and dreams, fears and insecurities, and who stood by your side through thick and thin. Together, you forged a bond that was stronger than any obstacle, a love that transcended the trials and tribulations of life.
One evening, as you sat together on the balcony, watching the sun dip below the horizon in a blaze of fiery colors, you found yourselves lost in conversation, sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with a vulnerability and honesty that only strengthened the bond between you.
"I never thought I'd find someone like you, yn," Jay said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "Someone who truly understands me, who accepts me for who I am, flaws and all."
You turned to look at Jay, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "I feel the same way, Jay," you replied, reaching out to take his hand in yours. "You've shown me a kind of love and acceptance that I never knew was possible, and for that, I'm eternally grateful."
As you sat together in companionable silence, the soft murmur of the city below providing a soothing backdrop to your conversation, you felt a sense of peace settle over you like a warm blanket. With Jay by your side, you knew that you could weather any storm that came your way, knowing that his love and support would always be there to guide you through.
And as the stars began to twinkle overhead, casting their gentle glow upon you both, you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to Jay's lips, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude for the man who had come into your life and filled it with so much joy and happiness. With Jay by your side, you knew that anything was possible, and you vowed to cherish every moment you shared together, knowing that your love was a bond that would last a lifetime.
And as you looked towards the horizon, your heart filled with gratitude for the unexpected twists and turns that had led you to this moment, you knew that with Jay by your side, the future held endless promise and possibility.
With a smile on your lips and a lightness in your heart, you stepped forward into the unknown, ready to embrace whatever adventures awaited you, knowing that as long as you had Jay by your side, you could weather any storm that came your way.
And so, as the sun set on one chapter of your life and rose on the next, you took Jay's hand in yours, ready to embark on a new journey filled with love, laughter, and endless possibilities.
For in Jay, you had found not only a partner but a soulmate, a kindred spirit who had walked through fire and brimstone to stand by your side, and for that, you would be eternally grateful.
And as you walked hand in hand into the sunset, the echoes of your laughter mingling with the gentle rustle of the wind, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as you had each other, you could overcome anything.
And so, with hearts full of hope and love, you stepped forward into the unknown, ready to embrace whatever adventures awaited you, knowing that as long as you had each other, the future held endless promise and possibility.
452 notes · View notes
auras-moonstone · 1 year
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girl, i’m in dire need of some jack angst!! (i know, i’m crazy for wanting my heart to be ripped out by your beautiful writing in the saddest way possible😂)
maybe he and the reader have been dating for a few months and have their first big fight, maybe he’s been a little too close to a girl the reader has been having weird gut feelings about. they break up after some harsh words were said, and a few weeks later the reader sees that he’s dating the girl he told her not to worry about 👀
a few months pass, and jack and the girl break up bc he can’t get over the reader, and he tries to win her back, but soon realises he lost her for good when he sees her ar an event or something with someone else, and it’s clear that they’re more than friends.
(i kinda envision this as actress!reader x jack. and the event could be the oscars + the reader’s new bf could also be an A list celeb)
lyrics that could inspire you:
“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known” - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)
“I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind, Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
thank you so much and i’m sorry if this req is all over the place 😂😂❣️
hii! this might be one of the saddest things i’ve written yet. hope you like it<3
break me like a promise — jack champion
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word count: 2,949
pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader, louis partridge x fem!reader (brief).
summary: jack breaks y/n’s heart, and after ten months he is determined to win her back, he sees her being happy with someone else.
author’s note: when i read “readers new bf could be a celeb” i knew i had to include the other love of my life aka louis partridge aka london boy.
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Y/N AND JACK HAD MET THROUGH JENNA ORTEGA. The latter and Y/N both worked for Netflix, so they bumped into each other in lots of events and eventually became super close. And, knowing how big of a Scream fan Y/N was, Jenna invited her over to set and that’s where she met Jack.
No one could deny that sparks flew instantly between them, not even the two people involved. And that scared Y/N a bit, because her last relationship had left her with insecurities and trust issues, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive into another relationship.
Jack had been very understanding about it, and told her that they should start as friends. He assured her that he would wait as long as she needed to, that she was worth it. And after months and months of therapy, Y/N finally felt ready to try things with Jack.
They were in a lavender haze for months. Her relationship with Jack was unlike anything Y/N had experienced before. The love she felt for him was so strong that there was no way to put it into words. Jack was her best friend—he had held her hand as she healed, and drew stars around the scars that the previous relationship had left on her. And she never would have thought he was going to be the one who made the wounds bleed again.
Jealousy is often seen as a toxic feeling, and after talking with her shrink about it, Y/N came to a conclusion—the toxicity depends on the way you handle that feeling. So Y/N decided to put her fears on the table, instead of jumping into conclusions. That’s what she thought would be the most healthy thing to do. Jack would be honest with her, and the thoughts that had been eating her alive would disappear.
But as soon as she said the words and saw Jack’s expression of irritation, Y/N knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut.
“Seriously? I can’t have female friend now” Jack spat furiously.
“What?! Of course you can. That’s not what I’m saying” Y/N said calmly. “I just… she clearly has feelings for you. And I’m not saying you should stop hanging out with her, I just need to know if she’s just a friend to you… or if there is room for more.”
“I can’t fucking believe you’re telling me this.” he shook his head in disbelief.
“Jack, I’m not accusing you of cheating or anything, really. You’ve been spending so much time with her…” more than with me, she wanted to add. But that would make things worse. “and I just have this weird feeling. I need to know how you really feel, that’s it. If you tell me you don’t like her, I’ll believe you. But please be honest with me.”
“What I really feel is that you’re suffocating me with your shitty problems.” his demeanour was so calm, but his words were sharp as knives, and they cut right through her heart. She had trouble believing the words had actually left his mouth. “I’ve waited for you for months, I helped you through all of it. And now you’re making this shit up? Grow up.”
Y/N felt like throwing up. She felt like she was about to spit her heart. “You don’t mean that.” her voice broke. “In all of these months, when have I ever brought up one of your female friends? Not once. Because I know they are only friends. But with her, Jack, I just feel like there is something more. And yes, maybe I’m overthinking, but that’s why I’m asking. That’s it. I’m just asking, Jack.”
“Stop being so fucking paranoid. I get that your ex cheated on you, but stop seeing ghosts everywhere.”
“Why are you being so mean? Why are you avoiding the question? It’s simple, Jack. Do you have feelings for her?” Y/N asked, the knot in her throat grew in size when she noticed he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Jack?”
“We’re just friends, jesus!” he said annoyed. Y/N wanted so bad to play dumb, to pretend she couldn’t see he was lying.
“You know I can read you like a book, right?” she asked softly, sad. “When you lie, you can’t look me in the eyes, you play with your hands and bite the inside of your cheeks.”
“Y/N… fucking drop it. I’m tired of this”
“We are over, Jack” she tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, trapping her in his arms.
He saw the tears steaming down her face and cursed himself. “Shit. No, please. Let’s talk. I’m sorry” he sound like he was about to cry, and Y/N knew she needed to leave. Because even though he had hurt her, the soft spot in her heart was still reserved for him.
“No, let’s just leave it like this because if you keep talking, I’m afraid I might end up resenting you, and I don’t want that.”
“I love you, Y/N” Jack hugged her tightly. “Please let’s fix this. I promise you nothing happened with her, and nothing will.”
“I love you too, but I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore” and so she stepped away for the arms she loved the most in the world and left without glancing back. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.
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EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT OF JACK’S HOUSE TWO WEEKS AGO, Y/N HAD BEEN OVERWORKING HERSELF TO AVOID HER THOUGHTS OF JACK CREEPING INTO HER MIND. She had stayed out of social media, and had deleted Jack’s number from her phone to avoid temptations. Her friends kept their eyes on her all the time, worried about the inevitable breakdown. You can only hold back for so long before it becomes too much.
Louis, her co-star, had been by her side as much as he could. And, like every morning, he was waiting for her on her trailer with a caramel macchiato and a shiny grin on his handsome face.
“And a chocolate chip muffin?” Y/N asked, seeing the mouth-watering treat next to her Starbucks drink. “What’s the special occasion?”
Louis stared at her, frowning. Not any indications of having had a break down, not even puffy eyes, which meant one thing—she hadn’t seen the pictures yet. “Nothing” he blurted, showing his charming smile. “Just saw it and had to buy it.”
“You really need to stop buying me these breakfasts, Lou. I’m going to get cavities” Y/N said taking a sip of her overly sweet drink.
“But look at how happy it makes you. Cavities will be worth it, don’t you think?”
“You may have a point. Scoot over” she told him, nudging his leg with her foot. Louis moved his body so that she could sit next to him on the small couch. It was not made for two people, so they were basically pressed against the other, yet they found it comfortable. Especially Louis, whose insides melted because of the closeness between them—his not so tiny crush on her was painfully obvious.
“What are you doing?” Louis asked, trying to keep his voice calm as she unlocked her phone.
“I forgot to check which surprise songs Taylor sang last night” she answered as she opened twitter. “Oh god”
“What?!” Louis squealed.
“She sang Cornelia Street and You’re on your own kid! And I wasn’t there, Lou!” she dramatically dropped her head on his chest. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “What is going on with you?” she laughed.
“Nothing. Why?” he laughed awkwardly.
“I don’t know, you’re extra jumpy and panicky today.”
“I’m always jumpy and panicky around you.” he said, trying to brush it off.
“No, you’re not” Y/N furrowed her eyes, locking her phone. Louis eyed the action and his chest relaxed. The girl noticed that, so she unlocked it again and started scrolling through Twitter. On her periphery, she saw the boy’s body tensing again. So it had to do with social media, she guessed. “Louis, I’m not dumb. Tell me what is going on.”
“Nothing” he repeated. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”
“Lou, I love you but you’re getting on my nerves right now. I hate being lied to, you know that.”
Y/N’s vulnerable eyes were his weakness, so he sighed and took her hand in his. “This weekend, some fans caught Jack walking around the city with a girl… and they… um, saw them kissing and holding hands.”
Y/N felt her heart drop, and her eyes started to sting. No. She wasn’t going to cry. She hadn’t let herself cry for two weeks and she was not going to start now. “Oh.”
“Give me your phone” Louis said softly. She was too lost in her own mind to question it, so she just obeyed. “I deleted Tik Tok and Instagram. And silenced any Jack related stuff on Twitter. You don’t need to see those pictures.”
“Louis… the girl… is it her?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice in control.
“Stop” his voice was firm.
“I want to move on, Lou. And for that, I need to know I was right first.” she pleaded. “Is it her?” her friend nodded slowly as he brought her to his chest. Y/N did a little nod too, and tried to stand up. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”
“Y/N…” he grabbed her elbow to push her back.
“Lou, please. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to think about it.” he noticed she was two seconds away to burst into tears. And as much as he knew he would hate the sight of her weeping, it was necessary.
“I know you don’t, Y/N/N, but you have to if you want to move on. You’re never getting over this if you keep ignoring your need to cry.”
“I’m just afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” she confessed, tears starting to blur her vision.
“It feels like that now, but I promise you it’ll be good for you. You have been holding it back for weeks, and once you let it all out, you’ll start to heal” he said as he played with her hair.
“Two weeks… it took him two weeks to go off and date her. And it’s not only some girl… it’s her. He told me I was paranoid, and now he proved me right.”
Jack had promised nothing would happen between him and that girl, and now he broke his promise just like he had broken her heart two weeks ago.
After the realisation, it was like something snapped inside of Y/N, and one sob turned into desperate crying. Her fragile body shook under Louis’ arms, and he wished he could stop her pain. But he couldn’t, so he just stayed there with her holding her as she let it all out.
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AS MUCH AS SHE HOPED THE CRYING WOULD EASE THE PAIN, IT DIDN’T. It had been months of being in a rollercoaster of feelings, sometimes she was okay, sometimes she was great and sometimes she was so low not even Louis’ hugs could lift her up.
The days where she didn’t have to shoot were the worst, because she spent hours in bed and her brain betrayed her by bringing the memories of Jack back. She missed him so much, it was completely agonizing. Why?, she asked herself when the room was dark and she couldn’t sleep. Why did he get to move on while she had to spend her days like that? She has been trying to pick up her heart while Jack was all lovey-dovey with the girl he swore was just his friend.
Jack continued her life without her, while Y/N woke up everyday with his memory over her. She longed for the picture of Jack’s dazzling smile to be gone from her mind. She prayed to forget the sound of his voice as he whispered the sweetest of things on her ear. She wished she could stop hearing his angelic laugh everywhere. She wanted to stop feeling the ghost of his touch against her skin. To forget that his lips were soft and that every time they were pressed against hers she could feel goosebumps all over her body. Y/N just wanted to stop being haunted by the memories of Jack.
Louis had slowly helped her through the process of moving on. He was there to offer his warmth when the wrenching thoughts triggered the waves of tears, and he was also there to make her break a smile once the sobbing stopped.
After eight months, the flood of her tears successfully carried away the thoughts of Jack, and Y/N knew she was finally clean. Not that she didn’t miss him, because Jack was her first love after all, and a small part of her would always love him.
It took her a few more months to be sure if she was ready to risk it again, but Louis’ sweet disposition, how he saw the best in her even in her worst times, showed her that he was worth it. And so she she watched it began again with him.
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JACK AND THE GIRL LASTED FOR TWO MONTHS. He never intended to have something with her, but she was interested and he was lonely and sad, so he said yes. But reality crept in soon—he loved Y/N with all his heart and no matter who he was with, his thoughts would always go back to her.
He had been texting her for months, but she had blocked his number. He knew he could easily drive to her house, but he didn’t want to add salt to the multiple wounds he had inflicted on her, it would be selfish. So when Jack saw that Avatar 4 and Y/N’s drama film were both nominated for the Oscars, he knew it was his chance to make things right. To bring back the only real thing he had ever known.
But he didn’t plan on seeing her with someone else. And he knew they weren’t there together just as co-stars, they were each other’s date. The spark in Y/N’s eyes when she looked at Louis was familiar to Jack—it was the way they used to shine just for him. Jack had been the one to extinguish the spark on her eyes, and Louis had managed to light them up again.
And he wasn’t even mad or jealous. He actually felt happy and sad. Jack didn’t understand how it was possible for two opposite feelings to co-exist in his body at the same time. He realized it was a lost battle, yet he needed to do talk to her. For the sake of their once marvellous relationship.
Y/N got out of the bathroom and into the crowded room, but the thousands of people in it became blurry once she recognized the silhouette of a handsome tall boy leaning against the entrance. “Jack?” his name left her lips in a mix of anguish and surprise.
“Hey” he said softly. You look beautiful, he wanted to add, but restrained himself. “I wanted to talk to you.” Jack saw her grimace and continued before she could stop him. “I know. I know it’s the last thing you want, I just need to get this off my chest. You’re not paranoid or insecure. You never overwhelmed me with your problems. You were right, and I was a shitty boyfriend, friend and person, and you have been so amazing and patient… and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never deserved your love.”
“You did… up until that night.” she said in all honesty. “I loved you so much, and then you said all of those things. I can’t forget about it, because I never expected those words to come out of your mouth.”
“I know, and I really don’t expect you to forgive me. It’s okay and understandable if you don’t, but I needed you to know that those things I said weren’t true at all.” Jack said, pressing his lips in a thin line. “To be honest, I came here with the mind set of trying to win you back” he confessed, and let out a little laugh, as if the idea was now ridiculous. “But I saw you with him and I know that I’ve lost you for good. Are you happy with him?”
Y/N saw his deep brown eyes starting to get glossy and her insides melted. She didn’t see him with romantic eyes anymore, but it didn’t mean the love was gone. She still cared for him with every bone in her body. “I am. He’s amazing.”
Jack smiled. Genuinely smiled, so widely that it made a few tears drop, and before she knew it, Y/N’s cheeks were wet too. “That’s great, Y/N/N. Really great. I’m happy for you.”
And that was the moment Y/N knew Jack honestly regretted the words he had said before their breakup. “I forgive you.”
The tall boy’s eyes widened “What?”
“I forgive you.” she repeated. “And you deserve to be happy too, okay?”
“Thank you” Jack said breathlessly, wiping away the tears.
“I need to go. But it was nice to see you, thank you for coming to talk to me. For real. I really needed that, I think we both needed that.”
And so they both smiled to each other one last time before parting ways. There was nothing left to say, staying friends had never been an option with them. They loved each other too much for that. When it came to Y/N and Jack, it was everything or nothing at all.
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sinsatmidnight · 8 months
Text
30 Years Later
Pairing – Kim Minji (JiU) x Male Reader
Words - 3101
Sins – Smut, oral, sumata, shower sex
So...it's been a while. I have not been keeping up with what goes on Tumblr, I have to admit, and nor have I read any (most? I may have read a couple during this period) of the many stories that people have started after I stopped. I'm inevitably rusty, but I had this draft I started a long while back that I somehow got into the mood to finish, so I figured I may as well post it, just for fun. Maybe someone will enjoy it. Hopefully you like it if you read it! And no, I don't expect a significant uptick in activity from me, but I may pay more attention to some of the other stories being written. Working on this was not quite the healthiest thing (because uh, I may have overused a certain part of my body the last couple of days) and let's just say one of the reasons I'm posting this is because it already had a significant bit written. But I kinda wanna subject myself to more of this...abuse(?) now. Ugh I'm rambling, but anyways, hope everyone has a good day (or night)!
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(2130 hours, 20 September 2220, Eternity)
It started out muffled. The droning sound breaking into your consciousness, jolting it to life. You have no idea what it is. Or where you are, for that matter. Your eyes are closed. But your ears are sharper now that your mind is actively concentrating on listening.
A voice. Female. You can’t make out words but she sounds calm. And then your eyes slowly open, almost as though forced open by an outside force. That’s when you remember.
“Condition is stable, consciousness gained, cryo pods are opening.” That calm, droning female voice comes through clear to you now. There is a soft hiss as the transparent door of your cryo pod slides to the side. The light outside your pod is quite soft, and yet at the moment to your eyes, it is blinding. Disoriented by your awakening, you lay in the gel bed as you try to get your bearings.
“Eden? Status update…oh, and what is the current date and time?”
The ship’s AI, Eden, responds in the electronically generated calm tone that all shipboard Ais use. “Welcome back, Commander. All of the Eternity’s systems are currently running optimally. All crew members are in good health. It is currently 2130 hours, 20 September 2220.”
Your mind does the math easily despite just coming back from the induced cryo-sleep. Thirty years. Well, that would be right. Crew members were supposed to be woken up after thirty years to run manual checks on the ship’s condition and look over all data collected automatically by ship sensors and the AI. They stay up for two weeks and then go back into cryo-sleep. And after the first thirty years, this is repeated every five years.
Your mind remembers that crew members aren’t woken up alone, they’re normally woken up in pairs as an additional safety measure. One person who can handle technical or mechanical issues on the ship, which in this case is you, and one more person who is medically trained to check on the sleeping crew and in case of medical emergency.
Your gel bed is softening; rapidly melting as you defrost and becoming less of a gel and more of a slime. A marvel of human technological ingenuity; the clear gel froze quickly, was non-toxic in case of accidental ingestion, while also serving as a shock-absorbent and anti-bacterial bed for cryo-sleep.
You need to get out and check who else was awakened with you. As your hands reach and hold on to the sides of the pod, you realise that you have an erection. Your mind immediately jumps back thirty years prior, to the minutes right before the crew enter cryo-sleep. It might have been from thirty years ago, but those are your last waking memories and they feel like just minutes ago instead.
You remember undressing before you enter your cryo pod; cryo-sleep has to be done naked and trying to unpeel clothing frozen to a person for years is painful. And that was when your eyes caught sight of the occupant of the pod opposite you.
With long dark hair and incredibly kissable lips, combat medic Kim Minji drew attention wherever she went. She was tall, gorgeous and had a body that drew a reaction from your own. As you watched her unzip her white bodysuit and slip out of it, stripping off her underwear and getting naked, you felt the blood rush to your penis and you were glad that she was too preoccupied with her own cryo-sleep preparations to look over at you. You ended up getting frozen before your erection could soften.
Back in the present, another female voice that definitely wasn’t Eden’s cuts into your thoughts. “You’ve had that for thirty years, Commander?’
As you stumble out of the pod, the melting gel dripping all over the floor, your eyes immediately catch sight of Kim Minji’s naked body standing outside her pod, the clear slime dripping off her body and giving it a shimmering sheen under the soft white lights of the cryo chamber. You quickly realise two things: that Kim Minji is your medically trained partner that you’re going to be alone with for the next two weeks and that your erection won’t be going down anytime soon despite your embarrassment at getting caught. You technically outrank her, but that doesn’t matter when there’s just two people awake on the ship.
Minji’s gaze is fixed upon your groin and very obvious erection and a smirk plays on her red lips. “Oh, Minji, I-“
Before you can think of an excuse, Minji cuts in. “Thanks for the compliment, I guess. I’ve never had a guy have a boner for me for that long.”
You smile sheepishly and try to change the subject. “Let’s go wash up before we start work.” At the far end of the cryo chamber was the doorway to another smaller room. A shower chamber with a row of showerheads which to wash off the slime with warm water before you got dressed. There were no partitions, they didn’t bother with them, given that everyone is naked in the cryo chamber anyway. And anyone outside the showers can see into them, given that the walls and doors are made of transparent shatter-proof glass.
You drip clear slime onto the silvery metallic floor beneath your bare feet and the metal doesn’t feel cool to your touch, but given that you were completely frozen minutes ago, that’s understandable. The two of you make your way towards the shower chamber, walking past the other cryo pods which stand up at 45-degree angles, glancing at the naked bodies of other crew members stored in cryo-sleep within them. The water from the shower feels warm to you, a nice comfortable temperature. Minji is next to you, the water flowing over her naked and fit body. It's not helping your erection. Her voice cuts into your thoughts. "I can feel some slime on my back still, could you help me scrub it off?" You hesitate for a moment but then your hand reaches forward and runs over her smooth back, swiping the slime off. You feel Minji's body shiver at your touch, and she lets out a soft moan.
You are sure that your erection is pointing straight up now. Not that it wasn't before, but this situation is just prolonging it.
"Oh, that's nice. Can you do it a little lower, please?" She asks, and your hands move further down. Your hands are caressing her pert ass now, the soap lather coating it and making it feel smooth. Minji is letting out soft moans and you are enjoying touching her. As you wash her ass, your fingers stray between her legs, rubbing against her dripping vaginal folds. She is wet and it is not the water causing this.
"You're doing a great job, Commander. But there's a lot more I need you to wash for me." You turn her around so that she is facing you. You look into her eyes and she is biting her lower lip. Minji has a perfect pair of breasts, firm but soft and a nice handful. They are covered with soap lather now and you find your hands moving forward to massage her tits. You pinch her pink nipples, feeling her tremble as you touch her. Minji leans into you, her wet body pressing against yours. She feels hot to the touch, as though her temperature has gone up.
"Look, I really feel like I should help you with that boner of yours." Minji whispers breathily. "Can I do that for you, Commander?" She has already reached down and taken your hard length in her hand, her thumb rubbing the head of your cock, spreading the precum that had gathered. She gives your cock a gentle tug, and it takes all of your willpower to not cum on her right then and there.
"Fuck, Minji, that's- that's fine." You let out an odd mix of strangled gasp that ends in a muttered assurance, as her soft hand continues to firmly stroke your erection.
"Thanks, Commander. I appreciate it." Minji presses those incredibly kissable red lips up against yours, and her tongue hungrily comes out to play. You reciprocate, even as your hands are busy continuing to explore her body. Her hands, on the other hand, are one of the most pleasurable experiences you’ve ever had as your wet cock is deftly and smoothly pumped and stroked.
With a wink, Minji drops to her knees, the water from the showerhead splashing her face and wetting her long hair. She presses her tits together and wraps them around your throbbing shaft.
It feels good and your body instinctively thrusts forward, your hips rocking back and forth, fucking her breasts. Your balls are tensing up, and you can tell you aren't going to last long. It is smooth and slick between her breasts and the tip of your cock is rubbing up against her lips with her tongue comes out to tease the tip. Your eyes stare at her as she looks back at you and with a smirk, Minji parts her lips, taking the head of your cock into her mouth.
The tip of her tongue swirls around the sensitive head, licking up the precum that continues to leak. Then, she starts bobbing her head forward and back, taking more and more of your shaft into her mouth, eventually releasing your cock from between her tits. Minji hums contentedly as she sucks and swallows your cock, and her hand is wrapped around the base, pumping you in time with the movements of her head. Minji’s other hand has drifted between her legs, and she starts to furiously masturbate as she blows you. Her slender fingers plunge in and out of her leaking vagina as she keeps her thumb vigorously rubbing her engorged clit.
As you lock eyes with the gorgeous medic on her knees in front of you, she gives you a sultry look, her lustful eyes peering into yours as she sucks you off. Minji’s expert tongue swirling around your shaft and the vibrations of her moans as she takes your dick deep into her throat very quickly becomes too much for you. Your hands need to grab something, to get control.
Your fingers run through her long hair and roughly grab hold of her head, pulling her towards you as you thrust into her mouth hard. You hear her gag a little, but she doesn’t stop with her movement. You feel the pressure building up, and your hips are moving of their own accord. Your cock is hitting the back of her throat, and your balls are tightening.
With a moan, you cum in her mouth. Thick spurts of cum erupt from your dick and fill her throat. She swallows it all, and stands up, licking those red lips. "That was tasty. It’s not every day you get to taste cum stored up for thirty years."
You barely register her words, breathing heavily. That was the most intense orgasm of your life. Your cock is still hard, but Minji is seemingly satisfied. For now.
Or maybe not. She steps away from you, and turns around, bending over. Her shapely ass is facing you, and her pussy is glistening. She looks back at you and wiggles her hips. "Can you help me clean down here too, please?"
You can't refuse Minji’s request. You have to return the favour, after all. You move towards her and rub her pussy. It is dripping wet, and her juices are flowing freely. You stick a finger inside her and feel her walls clench around it. She lets out a gasp, and pushes her hips back, as if wanting more.
"Oh, I really need it, Commander." She pants, as you continue to finger her. You pull out, and she lets out a groan. "Why did you stop?"
"Just making sure you're ready for me." You reply as you give her pert ass a quick spank, drawing a low moan from the medic. You position your cock at her entrance and push inside her.
She gasps and whimpers as you enter, and you feel her pussy walls tighten around your shaft. You start to thrust into Minji’s soaked pussy, and she groans while pushing her hips back to meet your thrusts. You grab her hips and pull her closer, helping her out in an attempt to get ever deeper inside her. She cries out in pleasure, as you fuck her as hard and fast as you.
It doesn’t take long before you are getting close to climax, and she is too. You can feel her walls tightening around your shaft, and her breathing is getting faster. You grip her hips tightly and pound her harder.
"Commander!" She moans, as she orgasms. Her juices flow over your cock, and you can't hold back any longer. You pull out of her and explode all over her ass and back, creating a sticky mess there. And then you plop down on the ground, all this exertion so soon after coming out of cryo-sleep has taken a lot out of you.
You both pant, catching your breath. Minji crawls over and kisses you deeply. "Thanks, Commander. I can't wait to work with you for the next two weeks." You can only nod breathlessly in response, your tongue wrestling with hers. Minji breaks the kiss and stands up, with her back to you. “Well, going to need your help with this mess here. Your fault, so you clean it up, sir.” Your gaze goes over her cum-glazed skin and you stand up to grab a sponge from the side of the room, lathering it up with some body wash from a dispenser. You start to work on cleaning her up, using the sponge to get your semen off her skin. But Minji is inherently distracting. It is clear whenever you touch her that she is affected by it. You hear some sighs of pleasure, even the occasional whine when your hands leave her.
This inevitably affects you and you are somehow hardening again down below. You make a split-second decision and suddenly press Minji's wet body up against the wall. You swiftly follow that up by sliding your semi-erect dick in between her soaked creamy thighs. You start to thrust in between her thighs, making sure that you brush against her pussy fold throughout.
"Oh, you're naughty, sir." Minji pants lustfully. You can feel the warmth of her vagina radiating through your thrusting member. You are quickly erect once more. This feels even better than her sucking and giving you a titfuck. "How is this, Minji?" You whisper into her ear.
"Fuck, Commander. That's… that's really good. Really, really good." She whimpers breathily, her body pushed up against the transparent wall, tits first. Your cock continues to slide between her thighs, teasing her pussy. You are both covered in soapy suds, the water from the shower spraying and splashing on the both of you. Her skin feels silky smooth and slippery to the touch. With each thrust, her ass and thighs clap loudly. You reach forward and fondle her tits, her nipples hardening and her breathing quickening. You keep thrusting, enjoying the feeling of her soapy thighs wrapped around your shaft. Minji is moaning and gasping with each thrust, and her breathing is getting faster.
Her legs are trembling, and her juices are flowing freely, mixing with the soap suds and water. Your balls slap against her clit, and she cries out in pleasure, her whole body shaking. You reach forward and grab her wrists, pinning her to the glass wall. She lets out a moan and arches her back. You kiss her neck and shoulders and continue to fuck her soapy thighs. She is whimpering and moaning with every thrust, and her juices are flowing freely, making her inner thighs and your cock very slick and slippery.
Your thrusting becomes faster and more urgent. Minji is definitely close to climaxing; you hear her moans and whimpers are getting less coherent and more urgent; you’re sure you catch some lust fuelled whining and babbling about wanting your cum and something about being fucked hard. Your cock is slamming against her pussy, and her walls are clenching around it, her juices leaking out. She is breathing heavily, and her legs are trembling.
You release one of her hands and guide it down to her clit, prompting her to start rubbing it furiously. Her fingers are a blur, and her moans become louder and more urgent. You continue to fuck those soaped-up milky thighs of hers, and she is practically screaming in pleasure, her voice echoing off the walls of the shower room. Not that you had to care about anyone hearing you. You did have an odd sort of audience in the rest of the crew outside in cryo-sleep, just beyond the transparent wall you have pressed Minji against.
Your cock is twitching and pulsating, and you can feel the pressure building up. You are both close to that final edge, and the only sounds are your heavy breathing, the splashing water, and the loud clapping sound of her ass and thighs slapping against your cock and balls.
You thrust forcefully into her thighs a few more times, and then you erupt. Your thick, creamy load sprays onto her thighs and the transparent wall, coating them in your semen. Her body shudders, and she cries out, reaching her own climax. Her juices flow over your shaft, and she slumps down, exhausted. You follow suit and collapse next to her. You both lie there for a while, trying to catch your breath. You do catch out of the corner of your eye, that Minji takes a few licks of your cum from the wall.
The two of you eventually manage to finish your shower and dry up, with you eyeing Minji the whole time as she puts that white bodysuit back and zips it back up. She catches your eye, bites her lip, and then smirks naughtily. You’re both relieved and regretful that your cock is worn out and needs rest. That would have brought it back up. You and Minji are both very well aware that you don't actually have much to do over the next couple of weeks, other than the occasional diagnostic check of the ship’s systems and such. The ship’s AI, Eden was there to handle the heavy lifting. And so, you're very much looking forward to the next couple of weeks alone with Minji.
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pantheresssy · 2 months
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Spending Nights (Abby Anderson/ Reader)
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Hello!
This is part 2 of ‘casual’! You can find part 1 in this masterlist! It took me so much time to write this but i did it, im rlly sorry, studying is making my creativity go away. Enjoy!!!
Synopsis: Your friendship with Ellie becomes stronger as you both get to know each other better. From the other side, Abby wasn’t dealing with this too well.
warnings: marijuana use (els), non graphic smut, too much abby and not much of els, angst angst, getting into toxic!abby.
“It smells like shit,”
Blowing the smoke on the air and, for consequence on your face, Ellie looked at you with a smirk. Her eyes were blurred and couldn’t stay in the same place for too long, in a trance with the sensations of marijuana. “But it makes me so fu-cki-ng good. Try.”
You pushed her hand away from your face and twisted your nose, feeling that the smell would make you sick and stick to your hair and clothes. You were in her dorms, with the notebook where she writes her songs open on your lap. Somewhere in the middle of your reading, you discovered a few more things she wrote. Small poetry’s. Most of them were sad, about unrequited loves, death, sadness of abandonment and the loss of a parental love. They were tragically tragic, but still beautiful.
Ellie looked over your shoulder, following your reading. Smiling when you turned your page to see the sweetest song you had ever come close to. She was a real talent, just like you had imagined when you first meet her. “I’ll write one for you.”
“If it’s as good as this one, I’ll say please.” She made a face and leaned back on her seat, taking the marijuana into her mouth.
Ellie blowed and talked at the same time. “This is the worst I’ve written since I started.”
You dismissed her words, outraged by what she had said. When you told her it was the ‘best one she had so far’ she looked a bit offended and gave you a full list of why it was her worst composition. Ellie explained to you all of her creative work and, by the end, you thought you knew more about songs than about your own classes. It was interesting seeing how her eyes shone and her voice became more happy. You could see that she really loved doing what she did.
When you went back to your doorms, not long after, you did with a smile. She really was a great friend, person, and writer. It was curious for you how she gad opened up about what she liked so quickly after knowing you for barely a whole week. But it was good.
The rest of your day, you enjoyed with one of your many books. Laying in bed with it on your chest, being dragged by the words. That’s why, when a knock sounded on your door, you opened it without checking who it was. Thinking it could be Dina — (or Ellie) — you never looked away from the page you were reading, only finding out who truly was when she spoke for the first time.
“Can we talk?” Abby said. At that moment, you regretted not asking who it was first. It’s been days since you last saw her, and you would be laying to yourself if you say that this wasn’t broking your heart even more, but you tried to ignore.
Holding your breath, you swallowed hard before answering: “No. I… I’m not in the mood for talking right now.” Deep down you wanted it, so when you kept talking, you wanted to slap yourself. “Maybe later.”
Abby stepped closer when you make a move to close the door, quickly trying to stop you. And it worked. “I saw you at the party.” There it comes. “Who is she?”
You raised an eyebrow. She had no right to be there questioning you, as if she deserved something. “I’m surprised you went, you never liked those things.” A small pause, “But I guess I should’ve had imagined, you have changed so much in a short time.”
She bit the inside of her cheek and you knew she was looking for what to say next. “Owen invited me”, And oh… oh.
Of course he did. You felt silly, a completely idiot. She never went with you when you asked, always making sure you knew how much she hated going to these things. But with him, that part never really mattered. “I’m glad he managed to change your mind.”
“He didn’t,” She said quickly. “I hated going there. You know this, Y/n. I… I hated even more when I saw you with her.”
An ironic laugh escaped you and you looked at the ground already feeling the tears filling your waterline, obstructing your vision. Abby was the proudest person you had ever seen and, when she said that, you realized that she was there not because she missed you, or because she wanted to apologize for everything she did, but for some jealousy of seeing you with someone other than her. You had to mourn her for the time she thought it was necessary, waiting until she wanted to come and talk to you correctly. Like at that moment.
It was a cycle that she had created and you couldn’t leave. On other occasions the same had happened, but not like that, with a fight so big as that one. You two have never been more than a few hours without talking to each other, and it’s been a long time.
You started poking your thumb, an attempt to keep everything you felt inside you through the soft pain. “You don’t own me any explanations.”
Abby denied. “I do, yes.“
“Look…” You started, letting transpire in your voice and face how tired you were of going around so many times, only to ended up in the same place. “We had the same conversation that day, you said what you wanted to say, what you felt-“
She interrupted you. “I didn’t.”
“So i am asking you to leave.”
As the last word came out of your mouth, you saw her posture fall. She looked sad, worried and younger, totally vulnerable and open for you. And you hated that you felt yourself softening. “Abby,”
She reached out for you and took your hand. You felt the urge to pull off her grip, but gave up in the last second. “Give me one chance.”
Swallowing, you watched as her fingers went to the inner part of your pulse, and you squeezed your eyebrows together. She was close, so close and God, it was good to feel her there. Your walls and anger were down as soon as she stepped even further after seeing your reaction, her lips touching yours.
And you did no move to push her.
Abby was fully inside of your room and closed the door with her feet while her hands gripped your wrist. You joined your lips more to hers, sighing heavily when you realized that you would not be able to let her out, even if you fought with all your strength against your will. Your arms wrapped around her neck and you two walked blindly to your bed, you sitting on the end while she was still standing in front of you, her back bent the kiss wouldn’t end. And you moaned, a sound that came from the back of your throat that seemed so desperate, wanting. But Abby smiled in enjoyment — (and proud).
Your shirt quickly came out of your body, then the rest of your clothes. She pulled you to the middle of the bed and started to kiss, lick and grope each part of you she could reach. Your noises only got louder, this time being followed by hers. And when her fingers went inside you, touching that spongy place that made you see stars, you felt your body shake with goosebumps. You couldn’t deny it anymore, you loved her and loved the way she made you feel.
You were lost on the fog of your orgasm, your mouth was open, trying to catch air for your lungs. She fell at your side on the bed, one of her arms supporting her head while the other supported yours. With the corner of your eye, you could see the smile she held and turned for her, placing your hand on her chest. You could regret it later, being so close to her, so open, letting yourself go so easily. But at that moment, you couldn’t think of anything else but being with her like that for the rest of your days. That’s why, when the words came out of your mouth, you didn’t stop them.
“I missed you,”
She hummed, taking your chin and pulling you into a light kiss. “Me too.” She said. “It was a torture, being away from you and seeing you with… Ellis… Ellie?”
You licked your lips, feeling her taste. “Ellie. Dina introduced us at that party. She’s great. She showed me the songs she writes today.”
Abby’s face fell into something darker, heavier. Jealousy shone back on her and you sank your nails on her skin, trying to pull her back. You knew that if you allowed it, that moment would turn into a discussion just like the other day or worse. She was territorialist and you hated it, especially after having fought with you because of your jealousy and insecurities. “I don’t like her.”
“Do you like anyone?” You asked, fun shining in your eyes and voice.
She kissed you one, two, three times. “You.” With her statement, you smiled big. Abby stroked your cheek, whispering her next words: “Just… can you stay away from her? For me, please.”
Just like that, your expression twisted in a grimace. “That’s why you’re here? To fuck me and try to say with who you want me to hangout with?” You got up and started to put your clothes back on. “Get out, Anderson.”
She faced you. “She clearly wants you, Y/n.” You laughed indignantly. “I won’t let her fuck with you.”
“Like you did that day? She won’t do it, Abby. And you know why? Because Ellie doesn’t hide what she feel, she doesn’t yell and curse when a problem pops up.” Your chest gasped with your words said in one breath. “Leave, now. You’ve stayed too much already.”
You pointed to the door, lowering your head and listening to her wear her clothes. Abby walked up to you and stopped in front of you. “I fucking tried to do this better. You can’t blame me now.”
How much you hated that situation, to be dragged by those words. The pain you felt before was nothing compared to the one you felt at that moment. “That’s all that matters to you, isn’t it? Making me feel bad so you can go over me?”
“I fucking like you, Y/n! That’s why I don’t want you with her.” Her finger wrapped around a lock of your hair and gave a slight pull.
You walked away and rubbed your hands on your face. “And you show it by trying to put someone I like as a friend away? Just go, Abby.”
“I ain’t giving up on you.”
She left with one last look and you closed the door as soon as she passed through the threshold, sniffling when the tears fell and your body was shaken with strong hiccups. You felt nothing but stupid. You knew that at some point everything would go down, but you didn’t knew it would be so quick, — not after everything.
You really thought that things would settled down, after just a few minutes and a moment with her at the bed. You thought you would go back to spending nights with her, smiling and kissing. Abby could make a fool out of you so easily. Sometimes you think you might hate her.
And this is the end!
I really wish I could write more than 2k but at some point I just start to repeat words/expressions and I have a tick with this. Hope you had enjoyed this ride and be patient with me for part 3 plss it will come out! Thank you for all of your comments!! As always, I’m sorry for any mistake.
taglist: @pinkpanther-44, @elsmissingfingers, @sofi4v13, @bready101, @mattxxamryli.
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justlemmeadoreyou · 6 months
Text
Secret Little Rendezvous-5
Summary: The fifth and last part to Secret Little Rendezvous
Words: 3.5k+
Warnings: Angst! There's a lot of angst, fighting and cursing in this one. Hints of smut too, mentions toxic relationship. Alludes to smut.
(previous part here) | (series masterlist) | (main masterlist)
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Dylan and your relationship was blossoming. It was going well.
Given, you two hadn’t slept together. Yet.
You didn’t want to get physical so early. It had been 2 weeks or so, and the most physical affection was kisses and neck bites, and the one time you had sucked him off.
It was your idea. He was pent-up and frustrated because he was working hard on a project, and most of it was rejected by the client at a glance. That made you so angry. That person didn’t even bother to see his viewpoint, or why he did it the way he did. 
So, you invited him back to your house, right after work. Made him his favorite: macaroni and cheese.
“Hi,” he had greeted you sweetly, even though he had had a shit day. You loved that about him.
“Hi, how was your day?” you asked, even though you already knew how it was. Maybe he would want to talk about it?
“Eh, it was shit. Got rejected on the project proposal I had been working on for the past week or so, and the client threw my report in the dustbin”
“No! Why would he do that?!” you exclaimed. Saying no was one thing. But tossing reports that took so long to prepare right into the trash was another.
“I know. He’s an asshole. How are you, though?”
You smiled.
“I’m good–I had a nice day. The code I was reviewing today was actually good, and I didn’t have to revert. “
“That’s a relief. I hate it when we have to check the whole thing all over again and 
Check the security and data compromises.”
“I know, right? Anyway, go and change. I made you dinner”
His eyes lit up when you said that, and he walked over to you with his arms extended in front of him. He came over to you and hugged you, his face resting perfectly on the alcove of your neck. 
“You’re the best”
“Alright, big guy. I’ll get the food on the plate. Go and get changed”
He eventually let go of you, but not without pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
He came back a few minutes later, face fresh and looking good. He sat back and relaxed, while you brought him the plate and sat on the table adjacent to his.
He took a spoonful of the dish, the yummy smell of cheesy goodness hitting him. As he tasted it, a grin spread across his face.
"Wow," he said, nodding approvingly. "This is amazing. You really did a great job, Y/n."
You felt proud hearing his praise, a warm feeling spreading inside. "Thanks, I'm glad you like it," you said, feeling a bit shy. "It's just a simple recipe, but I'm happy it turned out well."
He kept eating, and you sat across from him, enjoying the moment. It was nice, just being together and sharing a meal. And as you watched him, you couldn't help but feel grateful for these simple, happy times.
After dinner, he wiped his mouth and sat back, his stomach full and he looked happier than before.
“That was good”
“Mhmm, you know, this macaroni wasn’t the only delicious-looking thing tonight”
As soon as you said that, his heartbeat rose, and his mouth fell open. He dropped the napkin on the table and looked at you with wide eyes.
“What–what do you–what do you mean?” he asked, but before he could say anything else, you were already sinking down to your knees in front of him. You smirked, pushing his thighs apart and settling down comfortably.
His hands came to rest on your shoulders softly, asking you if you really wanted to.
“You–you don’t have to do this, babe. I’m perfectly fine going to bed and sleeping, or–or if you want me to leave, I can–I can leave too, you know”
You shook your head, taking his hands from your shoulders and holding them in yours, pressing a kiss to the top of each, “Yeah, I’m sure. And it’s good. I want you to relax. Let some of that tension and frustration go away”
He nodded, but he was still unsure.
But you made all of that go away. Starting slow, you took your time with him, built the pleasure and tension perfectly, licking his cock and fondling his balls, sucking at the tip, till he was cuming inside your mouth.
“You–you don’t have to fuck–oh, you don’t have to swallow–”
He muttered, but you had already done it, smirking up at him as he picked you up and kissed you,wrapping his arms around your waist. He apologized later for not returning the favor because he was so tired. You brushed it off, knowing it wasn’t a give-and-take relationship like you had with Harry.
Harry.
Oh.
You hadn’t thought about him in a while. Sure, you would see him in the office every couple of days, but he ensured no contact between you two. It was good…for the most part.
Olivia acted like you were a witch. She frowned and scowled whenever you were nearby, and she really needed to grow up. She had her ego inflated over the fact that Harry had chosen her instead of you.
Only if she knew how much of a lie it was.
.  .  .
Dylan was up for a promotion.
He had been in line for it too when you had gotten it. He was planning on leaving the company after that, because there would be no open positions for a while. So, he had submitted an application, stating that if he didn't get the promotion, he would leave the company. And given that he was a hardworking employee, who had shown excellent growth in the 4 years he had been in the company, there was no way he wouldn’t get it.
He gave the news to you two days later when he had taken you to dinner at a restaurant.
“Sooo I’ve–I’ve been wanting to talk about something” he said, after you had been talking about each other’s families for a while.
“Yeah, sure. What’s up”
“I–I got the promotion, Y/n.”
“Oh my god! That’s amazing! Come on, give me a hug” you exclaimed, so happy for him. You got up immediately and hugged him, earning a few unwat\nted glances from fellow diners.
“Well, that was awkward” he said after, and you nodded.
The conversation had stopped after that, and you could sense the shift in his demeanor. He wanted to tell you something else too.
“Dylan, what’s wrong?” you asked, your heart throbbing erratically, sensing something wrong.
He sighed, his gaze troubled. "Y/N, I've been offered the promotion, but...it means I have to relocate."
Your heart sank at his words, the reality of the situation hitting you like a ton of bricks. "Relocate? But what about us?"
Dylan hesitated, his expression pained. "I don't know what to do, Y/N. I want this promotion, but I also don't want to lose you."
Tears pooled in your eyes, because you knew where this was headed.
“You–you wanna break up with me?”
Your voice was just above a whisper, and you could see by the look on his face that the answer was yes.
“I don’t know! I want this promotion, and–and this is the only way I can get it. And if I leave the company, I would have to start in the exact position I want to get out from”
You sighed, the gravity of the situation finally settling in.
“But–but, we can–we can go long-distance…”
The words trailed off in your mouth. Long distance was a big thing, and you had been dating for about a month and a half. You two hadn’t been physically involved, and that may have been one of the reasons he wasn’t too reluctant to break up, or think of other options.
“Is–is this about us not having sex? It’s easier for you to break up because we aren’t that close yet. Because we haven’t fucked yet”
He dropped the spoon, and brought his hand to his face, rubbing his eyes with it.
“No, it’s not about that. I mean, we haven’t been dating for so long, and I–I don’t think our relationship could stand that. It’s a big commitment. And we won’t be able to see each other for months, because I would be working at the same level as you. Work can get hectic, and Y/n, you know that too, right?”
You nodded, staring at the tablecloth.
“And–and I often resort to drinking every three days or so, and God forbid I do something wrong while I’m out at a club, because I don’t have you by my side. I don’t want to call you one morning, telling you that I was unfaithful”
His words sank in, and you sighed. He was right. Your relationship wasn’t that strong to take the toll of long distance, and if one of you made a drunk mistake, the other would be crushed.
With a heavy sigh, you finally spoke up. "I...I guess you're right, Dylan. Maybe it's for the best if we end things now, before it gets too complicated."
Dylan reached out, taking your hand in his, his expression filled with sadness. "I'm sorry, Y/n. I never wanted to hurt you."
You gave him a small, sad smile, squeezing his hand gently. "I know, Dylan. And I'm sorry too."
.  .  .
He left a month later, and you were left with a broken heart.
Why did everyone leave?
Were you just that unlovable that God saved everyone from you?
You found solace in throwing yourself into work, often staying late into the night to distract yourself from those troubling thoughts. While the temptation to drown your sorrows in alcohol was present, you knew it would only serve to bury those long-buried emotions deeper within you.
Little did you know, there was one other employee working late that night.
He knocked at your door, and it was almost 10:00 pm. You were planning on leaving soon, and the thought of who else might stay late made you curious.
“Come in” you yelled, and in came the green eyed guy, whom you hadn’t seen in weeks.
“Harry”
He nodded, leaning in on the doorframe.
“Y/n. How are you?”
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“Dylan left a week ago. You’ve been working till late ever since. Wanted to check if you were alright”
“Since when do you care?” you replied, unsure of where all this was coming from, especially for a guy who had no feelings for you.
“You know I’ve always cared for you. Since before we were together till today. I never stopped caring”
Your eyes lifted up, staring into his.
“What do you want?”
He sighed, and walked to your desk. He pulled a chair out, dragged it across to your end, and sat beside you.
“Harry–what are you doing?”
“Nothing”
He took your hand in his, and stared into your eyes. It had been so long since you had done that.
“Listen. I know you feel alone right now. And–I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk”
You were not liking his two-faced behavior.
“Shut up”
“What?!” he exclaimed, as if you had said something wrong.
“Don’t give me that “I’m there for you” crap. You don’t give a fuck about me. And you made that perfectly clear when you threw me away those months ago.”
“That’s not true. I do care for you. And I did not  throw you away, okay? It was–It was you, who dumped me”
Your eyes widened, and you stared at him in disbelief.
“You’ve got that wrong! You said you were just with me for sex. And then you said that you can’t take it further because I was getting the wrong signals.”
“I never said that. I just that I was in love with someone else, and that–that I won’t be able to commit to you in the way you want me to”
You sat back, defeated.
“Why Are you pulling all this crap now? Just leave”
You pushed him back, closing the applications on your computer and getting ready to leave.
“Where–what are you doing?”
“Going home. Saving myself from you”
“But, listen–” he got up, just as you did. He grabbed your hand once again.
“What?!” you yelled.
“Just listen to me, please–”
“I’m done fucking listening. I was done listening three months ago”
“But–I–I want to say something–”
You ignored him, taking your stuff and shoving it in your bag. You fetched your keys, and opened uber to call a cab, because your car was with your sister.
“Y/n listen–”
You picked your stuff, slinging your bag over your shoulders and went to turn the lights off. But, what he said next, made you freeze.
“I love you!”
Your legs stopped working, and your eyes widened.
What the fuck.
“Excuse me?” 
You turned around, your eyes full of anger.
He lowered his gaze to the floor, and the anger within you skyrocketed.
You dropped your things to the table once again, walking to him and standing right in front of him.
“I–I love you”
He said once again, his gaze trained to the floor.
You grabbed his chin, lifting his head up. 
His eyes looked into yours. His, were apologetic. Yours, full of anger and disbelief.
“The fuck do you mean you love me? Did Olivia dump you? Or did the whole city say no to sleeping with you?”
Your words hurt him, and his heart sank.
“No! Why–why would you think that?”
“Or–Oh! Or did Natalia stop loving you? Huh? You over her? Your eternal undying love for her is finished?”
He shook his head, “No, I–I broke up with Olivia a month ago. I–I don’t like her anymore”
“Because you love Natalia, right”
“I–I don’t! I–I love you”
“You know you’re saying that to a void, right? Because you’re not getting one back from me in return. What do you want me to do? I should forget all you did to me and come running into your arms? Is that what you want?”
He gave no response, his gaze lowered, even though you were holding his chin up.
“Speak up, Harry!” you yelled, and he flinched. It was the second time you were yelling at him like that, and it made him genuinely scared.
“No, No–I’m not saying that. I–I just want you–to give me a second chance”
“Huh” you exclaimed in disbelief, letting his face go and took a few steps back.
“I’m not fucking around, Y/n. I swear. I–I just want you to take me back once again. I want you to give me a second chance. And punish me however you feel like. Beat me, throw things at me, yell at me. Please, but—but please, give me a second chance. Please”
His voice sounded broken, and tears welled up in his eyes.
“What happened to you, huh? You were, this Harry with a wall of cement over your heart. You threw away anyone who tried to care about you. You threw me away. And now you’re standing in my office, crying, and you want me to care about you once again? Forget what you did to me!?”
Your voice was breaking too, and you too, were about to cry.
“I’m sorry for what I did to you. I was an asshole, and I will never forgive myself for that. But–believe me when I say that I have changed, and that–that I love you”
You couldn’t believe him. Not after what you went through after that. He sounded like he was telling the truth, and you wanted to believe him! But you still couldn’t understand why.
“What happened with Natalia, Harry? And Olivia?”
“I–I broke up with her. I wanted to be with you. But you were with Dylan, and–and I was heartbroken. I thought that I lost you forever”
“Would that be so bad?” you asked.
He walked to you, and got down on his knees in front of you. He reached for your hand, and when you didn’t protest, he took it in his, once again.
“I realized just how much I had lost when I let go of you. I lost the one person I trusted the most. I lost you, and I realized I had no one to even talk to. I had no one to laugh with, no one to get wasted with. You were always there for me. You helped me when I couldn’t help myself, and you even went out of your way to do that. You saved me from being fired, and–and I kept believing the wrong people. When I should have believed you. I should have known you were right. I was–I was just frustrated over the fact that Natalia had broken it off with me. I still believed she loved me, and that–she would leave everything to come back to me. And–and I was wrong. I was wrong about Olivia too. All she wanted was sex, and after almost 2 months with her, I realized she was a female version of me”
You would’ve laughed at that, if the circumstances were different.
“I’m sorry, Y/n. Sorry sorry sorry. I will apologize all you want, I’ll do anything, just–just please, please, take me back”
“But–what happened with Natalia?”
He frowned at the mention of her name, and you squinted your eyes.
“You saw Natalia, didn’t you? And she has something to do with you growing up suddenly? And realizing I was right?”
He gritted his teeth, head lowering as he blinked his eyes in shame.
“Knew it. What did she do?” you said.
“She uh–I went to see her on the weekend, couple weeks before, and to my absolute fucking good luck, her whole family was there”
He raised his eyebrows, remembering just how painful and embarrassing it was.
“So—yeah, I approached her, and everyone asked who I was. So, uh, she said I was her brother”
“Yep. That’ll do it” you replied.
His nose was scrunched, lips in a small pout as he whined at you.
“I then realized she never had feelings for me. She might have had all those years ago, but–she definitely doesn’t”
You nodded. 
You sat in silence for a while, no words exchanged between you two. He looked up at you after a while, his eyes searching for an answer.
“You treated me like shit, Harry. Threw me away like trash the minute you were fed up of me–”
“I wasn’t fed up of you–”
“Let me finish! And don't you dare interrupt me once again”
He shut his mouth and nodded.
“You threw me away the second you found someone to replace me. You threw away my feelings, my emotions, everything. You threw away the trust I had for you. And–and I don’t know if I can trust you once again. You were sleeping with two people, and–and you didn’t even bother telling me! What if I got an STD? And you know how expensive healthcare is! I don’t even know if my insurance covers STDs!”
“I’m sorry”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Harry. You know that”
“Then tell me what to do! Please. I’ll do anything you want. Anything. You want me to murder someone, I’ll do it too”
“I’ll do whatever it takes”  his response was instant.
You shook your head once again.
“You’re not going to get me back so easily”
“Okay, first of all, I’m going to treat you like crap. I’m going to call you when I want, I’m going to do whatever I want. I will sleep with multiple guys. And maybe girls too. I will drink and go home with any person I want. I will run away as soon as you’ve orgasmed. I will not give you any aftercare. I will yell at you for caring about me. Understand?”
He hesitated, mouth open and in distress.
“See? How does it feel when the tables are turned? Feels bad? Huh?”
He nodded, pouting.
“Well, I don’t give a fuck. Feels good from where I see it”
He lowered his gaze in defeat, once again.
You grabbed his face, once again, making him look at you.
“It’s not going to go back to what it was in one night, Harry. It will take time. I will take time.”
“Yes, yes. Whatever you want”
“Maybe months”
“Of course!”
“Years, even”
“I can wait for eternity if It means I get to be with you once again” he declared, and you cringed.
“Wow. I’m gonna dump you right now for saying that” you teased, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.
“Okay–sorry! I’m sorry. I can–I can wait for however long you want, Y/n”
You licked your lips, and he brought your hands to his face, kissing your knuckles.
“Alright. Drop me home. And I want ice cream.”
He smiled, nodding happily, and getting up in an instant.
“Yes!” he exclaimed, and you bit back a smile. He may be a moron, but he was your moron.
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
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sherewrytes · 2 months
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Lost cause
Sukuna x reader
Sukuna and Y/n has been distant for some time. Talks and time spent together become less and less.
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genre. fluff to angst (idk), established but toxic relationship, 18+
tags/warnings. boyfriend! sukuna, profanity, smoking, alcohol/intoxication, talks of depression. minors dni.
notes: This is just straight off the dome, unedited. I just had a plot and rain with it. Hope it doesn't make you cry.
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You were tired
It was 8:51pm, you hadn't heard from Sukuna in two weeks really. The last messages you got was him saying
Bro stop spamming my messages. We will talk soon I thank you for checking in but I'm not in the right headspace rn, I'll talk to you soon
Thank God you can see notifications on your screen so you won't have to open his messages. You left it unopened. This is how things were between you two right now. You'd barely speak then hang out once a month, talk a bit then he's MIA again. You knew Sukuna had shit hard. Family passed, taking on a lot of responsibilities that aint his own. You knew that somewhere deep down he cared, or maybe you wanted to believe he still cared.
The I love yous over the months were less and less, you went from babe and baby to just a simple bro. You felt iced out of his life. You kept your promise to be there for him but it's like he was failing on his.
You laid in bed contemplating calling him but knew he most likely won't pick up. You contemplate smoking a blunt or just drinking altogether to ease the pain you felt but you thought "what's the point." You wondered if to pray for some sign he still wanted this and much as you did.
Your mind played on a conversation you guys had last month where he told you he still wants this relationship and still wants you. He said, "I stay away when things are hard with me mentally cause I don't wanna bring that shit to you." You laid in bed replaying old voice notes to hear his voice. You closed your laptop and turned off your wifi on your phone just so you won't be tempted to call him.
You remember the moments you'd talk for hours on end. He would always show up when you needed him most but these days it felt like you were showing up for yourself more than he was. Some days you felt tempted to end things other days you felt the love come back.
You remember another conversation you had with him after an argument you had over something, and he said he's worried that you're losing feelings for him. You didn't confirm or deny it.
It's now 11pm
You already texted Sukuna for the night, and there was no answer. Your messages were unread. You saw a text message came in. It was Sukuna it was just a voice note saying
"Hey there, good night. Still not in a good space mentally but as you know when things get tough you gotta keep going"
You listened to it, missing the sound of voice so much, it almost moved you to tears. You felt like confused on whether you should keep trying with him and being patient or just end it. You simply responded
"Thanks for the motivational pep talk and you're happy to see he's a bit better."
After that, it was back to radio silence with Sukuna again. You felt like your world was falling apart. He was the one who chose you. He pursued you, so why was he acting like this. He kept saying he cared, but he's never around. The stuff you know about his personal life is tough and you get why things are a certain way.
You were tired of always feeling like you were putting in more than you were getting, wondering if you were just being played or used. Tired of conversations so you decided to just live your life and whatever happened between you and Sukuna happened.
He was tired
Sukuna was tired of always making you feel like you meant nothing. There was no one else for him but you. His feelings for you overwhelmed him. All he could think about was you. He needed a moment to clear his head and all it made want was you. He won't deny the time away from you helped him. He was scared to come back around. He knew you weren't one to tolerate shit. He wants to be better not only for himself but for you. He hoped this time away helped you as much as it helped him.
He saw your texts, your missed calls. He was avoiding it, fuck, he was avoiding you. Maybe he was avoiding the emotions you made him feel. He still remembers how your lips felt when you first kissed him. How soft your hands were in his. How the shade of baby blue on your nails when you first met warmed his heart.
He was scared to lose you. He felt like you were done with him. He wasn't done with you. He wants to be better. He hates pushing you away. He knows it's his trauma and his pain from his fucked up life.
He hates that it's ruining everything he wants. He wants you, only you. You're the only one he gets emotional with. You're the only one he talks to on a deep level. He knew from the moment he heard you in the background some months ago when he called Toji. Your voice alone, let him know you were his.
He wants to fix things but he feels like you're done. He sees the signs. He knows he should be doing more but right now, his life and his mind is overwhelmed. He still loves you but he isn't sure if you still love him.
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Sukuna finds himself outside your apartment, dreading this moment. He decided to try to fix things. He runs his hand through his hair then knocks on your door.
Your door opens and it's Sukuna. You were shocked to see him there. It's 10pm. You sigh and said "Oh you suddenly remember me?"
Sukuna face paled just a little then he sighed. " y/n, can we talk...please."
You study his face expression, you want to hear him out but decided against it. You told him frankly "Sukuna it's late. I think you should just head home." Sukuna felt tears sting the back of his eyes. There was no love or anything he remembered in your eyes. He panicked " y/n please, I just wanna explain what's been going on with me."
You sigh and close the door in his face. Sukuna was shocked he never got that reaction from you ever.
Were you done with him for real Did he not matter to you anymore Did he spend to much time away Did someone get into your head
All these thoughts were racing through his mind. He fished out his pack of cigarette from his pocket and lit one up. He stood at your door for as long as it took him to smoke three cigarettes back-to-back before he realised he should just leave.
He headed down your complex's car park and hoped on his bike and headed home. He walked into the usual. Mom and Step dad on the their phones. His little sister on his laptop. His twin brother studying trying to use education as a way out of this hell hole they all lived in.
He sat alone in his room, thinking about how he fucked up, the one thing that was good for him. He found himself outside sitting on the wall in his family back yard scrolling through old messages between you two. He saw how his I love yous became less, how you'd express how him being hot and cold upset you. He saw everything. He saw you lashing out on him cause of your own issues as well. It made him feel sick.
He approached you first and he couldn't be consistent. He started hating his life. he mumbled to himself " If shit wasn't so fucked him in my life I'd have her. I'd give her everything she wants."
he remembered an issue you both had where a former friend/ fling of yours was trying to get with you. He remembered you showing him the messages and the emotion seething through him. He remembered the fear that he might lose you to someone else. How can a guy say he knows you better than him, knows what you like what you love. That's his role. He begged you for the guys handle to have a word him with him. The guy paid Sukuna no mind.
Sukuna realized he has no pictures of you and him together. NONE. all he can do is look at the pics you sent him randomly and feel sick. Why the hell was he doing this.
He found himself back in your messages sending a long voice note.
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You were pissed off at Sukuna having the audacity to show up at your door. It's been almost a month of almost little to no contact. You decided to send him home and get back to your own devices. You were scrolling on Tik Tok when you saw a message from Sukuna. You clicked on it, planning to leave him on read and saw it was a voice note. 7 minutes.
You were curious so you pressed play. The first thing you noticed was the lick of his lighter and the usual inhale. His voice sounded a bit shaky y/n. You...You, there's shit I've done that I didn't mean to do. I wasn't aware I was doing this shit. I've just been treating you based off my past experiences and that's how I usually am with people. I tried to handle you different, well they way you would want me to..... for the most part. I dont have the type fo conversations we have....had with anyone. I dont sit down one on one and talk to people the way I do with you. You heard him flick his lighter again and inhale then exhale. then he continued People around see me different than how you see me. They see me as positive and serious. The way Im with you. I don't be like that with anyone. If you get what I mean. I won't lie y/n you're difficult to deal with, fuck even Im difficult to deal with. I know you're way more sensitive and I can't deal with you, the way I deal with others in my life. Dealing with you sometimes, it's complicated for me, highly so but it's also new and different. Im still trying to learn you in that way. I've never had anyone like you before y/n. I can only do so much from what I know and try to understand your old world and how things are from your perspective. Im being honest it is difficult for me. Sometimes I need to take a step back to try to understand and if I can't, you make me understand. You heard Sukuna sigh then he continued on again.
Me working on myself and bettering myself for you and like my future with you would be an amazing thing. I understand that you gotta work hard and grind to get that shit as well but everything I do is for a reason. I don't do shit to spite anyone or hurt anyone especially not intentionally. I may be rough at times but I got my reasons. Im only human. Im always....Im used to thinking people are attacking me and I always push people away. Idk why I do. I don't know if it's ptsd, I don't know if it's self harm. I don't know if there is something I don't like about myself that causes me to act this way and push people away. I don't know if it's just that I can't accept certain things about people and certain things about myself. I try to understand a lot more every day and that's one of the reasons why I wanted some time to myself.
I wanted time for you for yourself as well to think. I wanted time for me to think. You told me when we met, I met you at an awkward time and from there everything was like a rush. I just wanted to take a breather. I wanted to live in the moment of life. hopefully this mini break which was partially intentional. I wont say it was fully intentional only partially. I felt like I didn't have a choice. I mean in a way I did and I didn't because I know couldve gotten help but at the same time y/n I didn't wanna use the time I had to just drop everything and come online and be around when I wanted to just grind and try to get shit together. I just needed that space for myself to think and comprehend things and I hoped it worked for you as well. I didn't do any of this to like really..... I won't say it's all your fault. I wanted some time to recuperate my mind. you know, there is multiple reasons why. That's why I came overI wanted to have a talk with you. I'll you sometime...if you want that and we could discuss a lot of things. Im only human.. I dont know if anything I said made sense to you y/n....
The voice note ended. You didn't know how to respond to him
He then sent you a gif with the caption this be us fr
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You just stared at your screen not knowing what to say. Sukuna's words confused you. You decided to at least sleep on it and think.
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sc0tters · 1 year
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Long Gone | Nico Hischier
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summary: the downfall of your relationship with Nico is both thick and fast, especially when neither one of you try to stop it.
song: don’t come back - Tate McRae
request: yes/no
warnings: a few swear words, toxic Nico, mentions of alcohol and drinking.
word count: 1.22k
authors note: this one was a bit shorter than the others but that’s because I’m off to bed cause I’m going skydiving in the morning (I wish I was kidding). if you are in a toxic relationship wether it be a platonic or romantic one I can’t stress this enough, please try your best to remove yourself from it and remember that you are loved. If you want to either see more of the celly or be apart of it you can find the playlist here!
pt 2
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Nico was ready to throw four years down the drain.
All of the warning bells rung in your head the more you thought about it. For the last three months you were only learning about team events through the other wags. The nights he would go out with the boys drinking you only learnt about his whereabouts of the evening once he got home reeking of alcohol. Your relationship had well and truly gone from being girlfriend and boyfriend to what felt like an awkward roommate agreement.
Until last week you had fought him on every thing he did, the late nights, the lack of care, the not inviting you, every single last thing that he did in an attempt to pull away you had to fight him on. But when you found a necklace in his side of the closet whilst you were doing laundry your heart broke. It wasn’t a piece that you owned and you realised it was bought on the teams trip to Carolina based on the date marked at the top of the receipt.
You wouldn’t have been so hurt by it if you hadn’t just gotten a bottle opener that looked like it came from the airport.
That paired with the fact that he missed lunch in New York with your parents who were there for business that weekend made you officially want to pull your hair out.
You let the door to your apartment slam shut as you swore that you were seething. The amount of emotions that went through your body was enough to make any straight thinking person nearly pass out “Nico!” You yelled as your bags dropped to the floor.
The Swiss man was sat on the couch mindlessly scrolling through his phone “you look interesting,” he commented as he was surprised to see how put together you were for some random Tuesday.
It made you roll your eyes as it took everything in your power to not go ahead and punch him “what the fuck have you been doing?” You asked as you pushed his feet off of the ottoman so that you could sit on it.
The gesture made him furrow his eyebrows “a friend wanted to go for lunch-” he explained as he motioned to the leftovers that were on the kitchen table.
You couldn’t help it when you reached over to hit him but unfortunately for you his reaction timing was too good as he wrapped his hand around your wrist “so I covered for you for nothing?” The scoff that fell from your lips was vile as you struggled to process how he was so okay with what he had done. Nico did nothing more than just wait for you to continue though “lunch with my parents was today.” You sucked at your teeth as you ran your fingers through your hair.
What pissed you off the most was that he didn’t even seem sorry “my bad,” he shrugged as he got up.
You weren’t proud of the borderline temper tantrum type scream you let out as you stood up too “I had to sit there for three fucking hours acting like you’re the best boyfriend in the world.” You pointed out as you marched behind him “when really you’re just a piece of shit.” The latter comment from you got Nicos haggles up as he was quick to back you against a wall.
His laugh was a dark chuckle “yeah, what’s so shitty about me?” He asked as he ran his fingers through your hair as he tucked it behind your ear.
Small, no tiny, maybe even minuscule was how you felt in that very moment “I know about her!” It was like you were proud of the fact that you had caught him in the cheating act.
Nico’s once irritating chuckle now turned into an amused giggle “you think I’m cheating on you?” Sure you weren’t his favourite thing right now but there wasn’t another woman in his bed or in his life like that.
It hurt you how nonchalant he was about it all “I know about the necklace.” If this was any other time you could have found his quick demeanour change amusing “you searching through my stuff?” That’s how it always seemed to be. Anytime there was a fight between you two even if you should have only held like twenty percent of the blame it was always flipped onto you “I’m sorry.” You apologised as your head dropped.
But before you could say anything else Nico was already in your shared bedroom and had locked the door behind him.
Since then you had gone pretty quiet when you were at home but most of the time you spent at a friends place. The girls had all been fabulous as they helped you cope with Nico. It surprised them just as much as it did you when he started pulling away as everyone thought he was close to proposing to you, not kicking you out of your apartment.
You didn’t know if it was a pro or a con that the girls knew you so well that they could see that you weren’t in a good relationship anymore. It was effecting you mentally and nobody should have to walk on eggshells around their partner 24/7.
And that is how you all landed in an elevator to the top floor of your apartment building where you and Nico lived. One of the girls had seen on Jacks story that the Swiss man was out at another bar and that was why they decided to go clear your stuff out then.
Yes your friend group had smarter plans before but you were ladies with a few bottles of wine in your system and were all now ready to take on the world.
The reason why they had mainly come with though was because they all knew that it you saw Nico then it would be all over and you’d probably be apologising to him once more for something you didn’t do.
It was all going so well, your things had been packed away into the multiple suitcases that the girls brought with them as you all knew that it would be easier to tug those suitcases downstairs than it would be to carry boxes down.
Your heart sank as the front door opened “what is this?” Nico slurred as he was beyond drunk at this point.
There was a squeeze at your hand as your best friend sent you a smile in an attempt to give you some encouragement. You nodded as you stepped towards the Devils captain “this is for all the shit you have put me through the last few months.” You had to raise your finger to signal that you weren’t done talking to him “this is goodbye Nico.” You explained as you leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
Your tongue darted across your lower lip as you stared at him knowing that it was the last time you were going to see him those close for a while “so by the time you sober up I’ll be long gone.” You promised before you left the boy dumbfounded and in silence.
By the time the next morning came you had already made good on your promise.
You were long gone.
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after-witch · 2 years
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A Fool’s Game [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]
Title: A Fool’s Game [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]
Synopsis: It’s the last day of the life you and Chrollo have enjoyed so sweetly for some time now. It’s a shame you don’t even know it’s the last. 
Word count: 2536
Notes: Yandere, toxic relationship, future kidnapping
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It’s a shame. A damned shame. A crying shame, really, if he were prone to the weakness of tears in anything but the most drastic of situations. Maybe this will be one of those situations, after all. He’s not sure yet, and dwelling on it will only make it harder for him to confront. 
He bears such a heavy burden, and you don’t even know about it. 
This day… is the last day that he’ll be able to enjoy the sweet, domestic bliss of normalcy with you. 
The last day that you will wake up him with kisses on his cheek, softly crooning his name in a singsong lilt; the last day he will get to see you flit about the apartment kitchen in the brightly colored apron you’d excitedly picked out to wear while you did chores; the last day you’ll love him purely and sweetly as you do now.
Because at the end of the day, you’re going to be abandoning the life you’ve built for yourself and leaving with him.  
He’s held out for as long as possible. Really, he muses, you ought to be grateful that he was able to curate this domestic scene for as long as he did. 
There were a few bumps along the way, but not many. Nothing that wasn’t smoothed over with kisses and smiles and reassuring words.
You always got sad when he had to leave for his “work trips.”. But he kept in touch through phone and even a few gift deliveries that had you gushing when he called in the evening, profusely thanking him for flowers or a meal from your favorite cafe.
But things change. There’s no denying that his latest plan will take him away not just for days or weeks, but months. He can’t bear to be apart from you for that long, and the only solution is painfully clear: it’s time to pop the bubble and move on. And the Phantom Troupe’s schemes, great and small, can’t be paused.  Even for you, sweet creature that you are.
This will hurt. No doubt about that. But, he will recover from it--and in time, he’s sure, so will you. In the meantime, he can admit how awful it will be to see it end. There’s a certain softness that he’s come to enjoy from it all. It’s been like a vacation, some dreamy soft vacation that has given him something irreplaceable.
A taste--however brief and bittersweet--of a quiet life with you.
“Now that that’s done,” you say, softly, mostly to yourself, as you tuck away the last of the dishes--and Chrollo can’t help but think how pointless it was to let you waste time on that chore; it won’t matter, come this evening. “We can get going.” 
You move quickly, like water, depositing your apron on a hook by the stove and slipping on the flower charm necklace you’d laid out on the couch, followed by a soft cardigan in a shade of muted pink. You’re talking all the while, but he’s not listening to the words. Only the sound is important. The ordinary rise and fall of your voice, calm, expectant… 
He watches you quietly from the kitchen table, nursing the last drops of coffee you’d made for him that morning, dutifully poured into what had become his favorite mug at your apartment. The mug was only lukewarm now, and his palms missed the heat. 
“Chrollo?” You spin around. The smile on your face was enough to light up a room. “Did you hear me?”
Chrollo smiles, and shakes his head.
“My apologies, dear. I was too dazzled by your smile to pay attention.”
Your lips quirked into a teasing pout, and you shook your head.
“Well, I was saying, don’t forget to wear good walking shoes, because you know how busy the sale gets. Unless you’d rather stay home while I go alone?” You don’t mean it, but something about the suggestion makes him move. 
He’s off the chair before he even realizes he’s doing it, walking quickly up to you and pressing his chest against your back. He rests his chin on your head, letting his body slow down as the apple sweetness of your favorite shampoo tickles his nostrils.
“You’re awfully snuggly this morning.”
You turn yourself around in his embrace, and rest your head against his shoulders. “Buuut… if we want to make that sale, we need to get going.” You punctuate your words with a teasing poke to his chest, and his lips form the perfunctory frown that you’ve come to expect. The song and dance the two of you have perfected in your time together--argumentative teases, comfortable and snug. 
Soon, the arguments wouldn’t be teasing. There would be no dimpled grins. Only anger and hurt and, he thinks, a healthy dose of fear.
He sticks his hands into the pocket of his trousers as you grab your purse and give your hair one last check-over in the mirror that he’d carefully, on your orders, hung in the entryway. Your keys sat in the blue fishbowl that you’d found during one of your Saturday shopping trips. 
He remembers that day clearly, the way your eyes lit up at the brightness of the blue glass, the way you’d begged him to carry it home for you because-you-know-I’ll-just-drop-it. And once the bowl had been safely deposited on the end table by your door, you’d breathed a sigh of relief and snuggled up to him. He received a kiss for his troubles. 
You have no idea, as you step through your front door and wait for him with keys in hand, that it’s the last time your fingers will ever dip, carefree, into that treasured bowl; that it’s the last time you’ll ever leave the threshold of your apartment… of your own volition, that is.
You poor thing.
--
“Oh! Oh, Chrollo! Look!” Your grin could split your face, if such things were possible, as you point towards the menu hanging in the back of the coffee shop. It’s all handwritten in chalk, probably changes every few days to suit the ever-revolving tastes of the customers. Just the sort of place you love. 
Chrollo merely glances at it, not caring about the finer details of the smeared chalk words. Instead he focuses on you, on every micro-expression. On the way the finger you pointed with is painted a sparkly blue. He’ll have to remember to pack some nail polish in your bag, though you likely won’t feel too concerned about such things for a long time. 
“Mm? And what is it I’m supposed to be seeing, love?”
You sigh, put-out, but not meanly so--you were never mean to him. Never nagging, never cross. Today you settled for a sort of breathless exasperation, like you couldn’t believe he wasn’t seeing it.
“They have lavender coffee. Can you believe it?” You’re practically giddy, almost hopping on one foot. “I can’t wait to taste. You have to try mine, okay? Since I know you’re going to get your usual.” You elbow Chrollo and he tries to match your grin with a smile, but it’s hard going. 
Just a few more hours, that’s all that’s left…
“Ooh!” You stand on your toes, craning your neck as you re-read the menu. “Maybe we should split some pastries, too? Will you eat some if I get them?” Your voice raises higher, no doubt excited over the sticky pastries visible in the case just ahead. 
The man standing in front of you in line looks back for just a moment, and rolls his eyes as he returns his gaze to the front.
His eyes would look lovely on a platter, Chrollo muses. But no. Such things couldn’t happen here, in this carefully preserved moment in life. After the thin glass of this life with you is broken, however, is another thing entirely.
Chrollo watches as you hum and debate over what to get. Your finger taps your chin. An exaggerated  affected gesture, but one that he has come to love about you. 
“Order whatever you like, my dear. My treat today.”
Your eyes light up and you squeak, of all noises. He has to force himself not to sigh in thick indulgence  at the sound. 
And when you reach the cashier, he listens carefully as you rattle off a fairly large order of coffee and pastries. You always wanted to try one of anything new, especially if Chrollo was the one indulging you and you didn’t have to worry about your budget.
It’s fine, normally, but a bit of a hassle now. He has to take mental notes. After all, he’ll have to account for the pastries and caffeine in your stomach for the events that are sure to come later today.
--
“Isn’t the sunset beautiful?”
Chrollo hums, but he’s not looking at the sunset. He’s looking at the way the reddish light of it plays off your hair, your skin, your eyes. He’s looking at you. Every inch, every detail.
There’s a bit of pink frosting stuck to your lips. He should kiss it off before it’s too late. 
For now, you walk home, side by side. The sounds of the city fade away, replaced by the repetitive noise of your neighborhood. Kids playing. A radio, distant. 
And your voice, chattering, about nothing in particular.
“Chrollo?”
He hums again.
“Thank you for taking me out shopping.” You smile, like a sunbeam. “It’s been a while since we had a full day out like this, hasn’t it? It’s a real treat.” 
You laugh, and glance down for just a moment as you smile. 
It’s true. It was a treat. A day together, doing all the things you loved. Shopping and pastries, chatting, indulging. 
You deserved it, after all. And so did he. 
You gently lean against him as you continue to walk, holding onto his arm. He lets you press your body against his. You’re soft and warm. The weight of you is familiar.  Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly silly and you were in a lighthearted enough mood, he carried you home after a day of walking and shopping and treats.
He might have liked to do that today, but you insisted on purchasing some larger items, which you dragged behind you in a rusty wagon. You’d spotted it a few weeks ago near a dumpster and insisted on taking it home for shopping trips. 
“Anything for you, my love,” he says, quietly. More somber than he meant to. 
You glance up at him for just a moment. But you just smile softly.
He uses the moment to pause and lean down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. The frosting is stale and sticky. 
--
Your hand is on your hips, a sure sign of impending doom. 
The shopping bags the both of you had brought in are carefully set on the table. Though, Chrollo thinks, it’s a shame that almost none of what you bought today could come along. It was mostly decorations for the apartment, after all. A new rug, a painting by a local artist, some decorative figurines. Too impractical and delicate to travel with--but maybe you could keep the painting.
You’re not focused on  unpacking the bags, though, which is unusual for you. Instead you’re standing in front of the couch, watching him with a determined look on your face. 
“All right! That’s it, mister. Time to fess up.” 
Chrollo barely has time to raise an eyebrow before you’re climbing onto the couch, straddling him. You smell of perfume and pastries and faintly, of sweat. Outdoor markets always did tire you out.
You hop up onto the couch, facing him on your knees, and place your knees on either side of his hips to get comfortable. Your arms wrap gently around his neck, and your breath is still sweet with sugar and cream. The smell contrasts beautifully with the pout on your lips. 
“You haven’t been yourself all day. Soo… what’s wrong?” The words are sweet and light. 
You noticed. Of course you did. You always noticed the little things about him. 
And here, on the last day of your ordinary life, you were worried about him. How sweet. How kind. How adorable. 
If only he could live forever in this moment. But ah, fate is not so kind to him, is it? It’s best not to dwell on it, especially when there’s so much to be done, and so much to be said. 
For instance, he still has to get the handcuffs out of his duffel bag, just in case you prove too troublesome to leave without a fuss. He still has to mix together the tincture Shalnark gave him, to keep you calm, if you get too hysterical even for the cuffs. 
When he doesn’t answer, the last bit of teasing in your eyes fades away, replaced with a warm, inviting worry. You tuck a stray bit of his hair behind his ears, the ghost of your fingertips tickling his scalp. 
“Chrollo? Is it something serious?” 
You lean back, and your delicate hands move to his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt while you wait for him to open up to you.
He always does. But this time, it will be the full truth. 
Well--you have always said you wanted to know him. Be careful what you wish for, and all that. 
He sighs, leaning back into the couch. His chin tilts up until he’s staring at the ceiling of your apartment, something you’d fought and scraped for, something you’d proudly decorated with his help. There’s a blurry vision of your head cocking to one side as he thinks--he hates to see that particular tic of yours go, it’s one of his favorites. 
His voice is short and cold and to the point, like the final click of cuffs around your wrists.
“It’s very serious.”
Your back straightens, and he looks away from the ceiling to meet your eyes. Your eyes are wider and worried. Your eyebrows are furrowed. 
“What is it? Are you alright?” Your voice is breathy, soft, anxious. “You can tell me anything, Chrollo. You know I’m here for you.” 
And you are, aren’t you? With your kind expression and your desire to return his own generosity towards you. For every time he helped you through a pinch, you were there to lift him up through his troubles, though they were often shallow and created by his own hand, all ways to bring you closer to him. 
He commits this expression, this moment, to memory. It’s the last time you’ll look so sweetly worried at him, he thinks. For a long time, if not forever. 
He gently grasps one of your hands in his, and you let him, sliding your fingers over his in a familiar gesture. His fingers tighten. He doesn’t want to let go now. 
“We’ll be leaving tonight, my dear. And there’s so much you need to know first.” 
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tartigglez · 2 years
Note
Hello tunblr user that I have NEVER spoken to before
Can I pretty please request dragon!zhongli doing dragon!Zhongli things
Like hoarding shiny things, and having a tail and hating random plants and squid 😭😭😭😭 idk I’m just hoping that something in this magically inspires your brain BUT feel free to ignore me
(I also really wanted to initiate ur ask box lol)
~ 🌷 anon <3
Why hello there tumblr user who i have also never spoken to! i hope this is uh,,, acceptable.
it was so hard to find a title for this oml
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"my natural form...?"
zhongli x gn!reader
genre: fluff, pure unfiltered fluffiness, such fluff, many fluffitude
word count: 500-ish
tags: retail addict zhong bc we love to see it, possessive zhong, zhong hates fish zhong, protective zhong (hes a cutie patootie guys omgomomgomgomgogmogmHDKAJH), venti makes a cameo/reader is a traveller but not tHE traveller bc THEYRE MINORS I REFUSE TO WRITE THAT. thats kinda it
tw/cw: possessive dragon boi, it lowkey seems like lightly toxic behaviour but i think thats it
a/n: i wrote a little smol bit of this every night this week so its maybe a bit disjointed but whatever. this was fun to write ty tulip bb. zhongli is the cutest im so sOFT FOR THIS MAN AAAA. also send me asks, ples, pls, plsssssssss, pls.
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dragon!zhongli who will buy pretty things without even realising that he quite literally has a retail addiction. will put things in random places in your house then get really confused when you move them. he keeps closely monitored stock of everything.
“darling, have you seen my golden vase anywhere”
“which golden vase?” 
“the one i purchased last week, at the market”
“i put flowers in it, it’s in the kitchen”
“okay, okay, good”
“you seem awfully worried about it”
“i am not, i simply… wished to know where it was… is all.”
“i see.”
dragon!zhongli who is lowkey possessive over you but refuses to admit it, also he feels that jealousy is not a good shade on him. But he’s a dragon, and you’re his most prized treasure, so it is only natural to him to protect you, right? it can’t be helped. he's got a really good sense of smell, so he can always tell who you’ve been around in the past few hours, but won’t tell you because he's afraid it’ll freak you out. 
(side note: he totally loves your scent and will compliment you on it all the time, like he’ll bury his head in your neck to calm himself down omg)
“my dear, who was with you earlier?”
“the guild had me teleport to mondstadt for a commission, why?”
“nothing my love, i simply- nevermind”
you look him in the eyes doubtfully
“tell.” 
“alright. you were with the anemo archon, yes?”
“i was. i was sent out to windrise to fight some hilichurls, i ran into him and he helped me defeat them, why?” 
“nothing, darling. the hilichurls didn’t hurt you, did they?”
“when has a hilichurl ever hurt me?”
“it is difficult to argue with that logic.”
dragon!zhongli who despite literally creating the harbour, refuses to go near the markets. he cannot stand the smell of the seafood that the merchants sell, so despite trying to “blend in” whilst in his mortal form, he will rarely be sighted outside the innermost parts of the city. 
“li’”
“yes, dear?”
“shall we take a stroll by the harbour? i have a free hour this afternoon and we should spend some time together. i haven’t spent much time with you this week, and i've missed you.”
“i have missed you too, love, however i think that-”
“you think?”
“i think that it is rather cold, down by the harbour. Shall we go to the teahouse instead?”
dragon!zhongli who is unconsciously protective of you in his sleep. he will wrap his tail around your form when cuddling, as a literal natural response. puts it around your waist and between your arms whilst spooning you so you can hug it like a teddy bear whilst he puts little kisses on your shoulders as you doze off. tells you the stories of years gone by as you sleep to vent his worries.
“li’”
“darling?”
“tell a story”
“must i?”
“yes, you must!”
“very well my dear, close your eyes.”
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Text
My Little Shadow: Part two (Azriel X Reader)
Warnings!: Abusive family, toxic relationship, arranged marriage.
Part one here: Part one
Part three
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Thank you for all the people who like and re-blogged my last post! I couldn't believe so many people liked my story, so I worked hard to make sure I had the second part out today! Prepare for two shadowsingers to meet. As Y/N and Azriel meet again, is it the beginning of a friendship, or something more?
The past two weeks had been a nightmare, more so than usual.
After returning to my father’s home, he beat me senseless, afterward throwing me into my room and locking it from the outside.
No one had returned to even bring me food, although luckily I had saved some in a hidden spot for times just like this.  I had thought that one day I would need to hide myself, my mother, or my sisters from his wrath.
I would have never imagined this scenario, but I probably should have.
I was his only daughter born before Amarantha’s reign.  He had managed to keep us off her radar, but it had only helped so much.  And then somewhere in there, he decided that he wanted another child.  Seeing no end in sight to our stay under the mountain, he went for it.
Thinking about back then, about what I had done to keep my sisters safe, I clenched my hands, the old scars that ran up my back, legs, and arms hurting again.
I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, attempting to soothe me.
I smiled.  There was one thing they could never take away.
After I had first learned how to speak with the shadows, I had discreetly done as much research as I possibly could.  I knew that different shadows preferred different ways of presenting themselves, and had seen it myself.
But these shadows had followed me from that horrible cell under the mountain, becoming the only one I could trust.  They take the form of a human woman, most likely one they had seen before who wouldn’t be using it anymore.
I couldn’t make out any facial features, and if they stood real still they looked like nothing more than my shadow, but if you looked closely, you might notice how it seems darker than it should, and that when you look at them from a certain angle you noticed that sometimes they were not flat against the wall, but their own entity entirely.
They helped me stay sane under the mountain, and now they were doing the same again as I wondered what would happen when my bedroom door finally opened.
I rested my head against the wall, the chill soothing my stressed mind.
After only a moment of this, I heard my door make a resounding click as someone unlocked it.
I whipped around, standing straight with my arms behind my back, back to being the respectful daughter.
I knew my shadows had gone back to hiding, still nearby in case anything was required of them.
My father opened the door, his clothes and hair more regal and pristine than usual.
“Get yourself dressed, we have an event to attend to.”  He said unemotionally, walking away and leaving the door wide open.
Dread pooled in my stomach.  Whatever this was, I already knew it wasn’t going to be good.
I put on one of my more plain dresses, hoping to attract as little attention as possible.  I stalled for time, taking as long as possible to do my hair.
Maybe I could attempt to stay with one of my friends until Draven gave up on this whole arranged marriage thing.  Though I had no clue which of them would sell me out for the most measly of rewards.  Maybe all of them would.
Eventually, I could stall no more, my father in the doorway, watching me with dark beady eyes.
“Do I have my sweet little girl back, or am I to have to deal with this ungrateful little thing that’s taken her place?”  He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders as he peered into the mirror, looking me in the eye.
I swallowed the hatred that bubbled up, the urge to take the delicate handle of my hair brush and plunge it deep into his chest.  I met his eyes, letting none of that show as I spoke meekly, “I’m sorry for my previous outburst father, I promise never to speak to you like that again.”
He lifted a hand to stroke my hair, his expression almost sweet as he smiled, speaking low, “Good, I love you my darling girl.  You are making me proud, and helping all of us.  Never forget that.”
I forced myself not to shiver as he kissed my head before leaving the room.
Getting up to follow him, I took a few calming breaths, stealing myself for whatever may come.
After surviving years under the mountain, this should be nothing.  But sometimes it felt as if I had more freedom then, than I ever will again.
Everyone was gathered in the main room, waiting for me.
None of them spoke a word to me as my father opened the door, and we all followed him out.
I had three younger sisters, and to my father’s disappointment, no brothers.  My sisters crowded around me, offering silent comfort, my mother walking at my fathers side.
Was that what my life was going to look like after the marriage?  Living a life in silent fear, with no hope of a better future as I was forced to watch my own children be sold away.
I started to feel sick again.
We eventually stopped in a hall and I recognised the rest of the way, leading the way to the living quarters of Keir.
“All of you stay here, and talk to no one.” My father instructed as he straightened the lapel of his jacket.
He looked at me, and I lowered my head as he spoke, “When I call for you, you will behave like the lady you are.  Or there will be consequences.  Understood?”
I nodded, not meeting his stare.
He made a smug noise before turning and walking the rest of the way down the hall.  Keir opened the door after one knock, ushering him in quickly.
We stood there in silence for another moment before I felt a hand grasp mine.  “It’ll be okay.”
I looked down to see my youngest sister grabbing my hand.  She was too young to understand the difference between this place and Under the Mountain.
I gave her a little smile, placing a reassuring hand on her head.  “Of course it’ll be alright.  It may seem scary now, but remember what we always say-”
We both spoke at the same time, “Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.”
She looked up at me, her eyes wet with the beginning of tears.  “But we aren’t going to be together.”
I knew that if my father saw, he would scold me, but I pulled her close into a tight embrace.  “It’ll be alright darling, nothing can come between sisters.”
I let her go, quickly smoothing out my dress.
Feeling eyes on me, I looked up to see my mother quickly looking away.
I knew this wasn’t the life she had wanted either.  She used to tell me stories of her family, who hadn’t lived in Hewn City but had been just as cruel.  They had sold her to my father, just as he was now going to sell me.
Keir’s door opened, and my father poked his head out beckoning me in.
I obediently came to him, and he pulled me inside, shutting the door quickly behind us.
Keir’s taste in decor was awful.  Everything had edges sharp enough to draw blood and there was almost no color in anything.  It had a somewhat normal sitting situation, but what intrigued me was the painting that hung in the middle of the room, the subject of the portate being solidly him, with all of his family except his daughter sitting around him.
I swear I could see where she had been painted out.
“So this is the daughter you wish to wed to Draven?”  Kier asked from the large chair he was lounging in, a disgusting smile on his face as he studied me.
Don’t react, don’t show what you think.
“Yes, say hi Y/N.”
“Hello.”  I said meekly, not looking either of them in the eye.
I heard the floor creak, not realizing Keir had gotten up until he was tugging my chin upwards, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
“Hmmmm.”  He hummed as he studied my bruised face before letting me go.
“I heard about her little outburst earlier this month.  If anyone will be able to tame her, it will be Draven.  You have my approval.”
My stomach churned, and I wanted to scream, not hearing the self satisfied words they were passing back and forth now that my fate had been sealed.
I only came back to reality when my father placed a hand on my shoulder.  “Did you hear me Y/N?  I said it’s time to go.”
I bowed my head, following him out and back to my family.
Apparently, my house arrest was over, because once we made it back to one of the more public halls, he announced he would be at home celebrating if anyone needed him or my mother, dragging her off.
Two of my sisters were quick to rush off, but My youngest sister, Stella, stayed by my side as my eyes unfocused, unable to breathe as the panic struck me in full force.
Stella hugged me, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent of sugar, dust, and warmth, knowing that soon I would never see her again except in passing.
“You should go hang out with your friends.”  I managed to say once I calmed down enough.
Her eyes were wide as she pulled back, studying my face.
I forced myself to smile as I ruffled her hair, saying in a falsely cheery tone, “Hey!  Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  I’ma figure out how to fix all of this, okay?”
She nodded slowly, and I planted a quick peck on her forehead.  “Now go!  I’ll be fine.”
I waited until her scent had completely aired out before I let the tears fall, quietly sobbing as I realized that this was the end of my life.
For a little while, the only sound was my gasping sobs until I heard footsteps in the distance.
I covered my mouth, quieting myself even father as I listened.
My shadow companion manifested next to me, obviously noticing the steps as well.
I pondered on whether I should leave, I had already gotten myself in enough trouble, and I dreaded to think about the consequences if I was once again caught doing something my father would punish me for.
But something about the saltwater, baked goods, and dark male scent struck something in me.  I knew it from somewhere, but for some reason I couldn’t place from where.
I once again looked to my shadows.
There was something we had learned to do.  I wasn’t sure if it had never been documented, or if we were the first to be able to do this little trick, but I had never found anything about it.
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I could see the world through a dark mist.
My shadows and I could become one in a way, turning me into a shadowy figure that could hide at will.
I could feel the shadows concern for me, and I sighed.  “I’ll be fine, don’t be so fussy” I whispered right before I stretched my head around the corner, my breath catching as I saw who stood there.
Azriel.
I watched him, standing there with something like rage on his features as he paced back and forth, his shadows curling around his ear.
I could feel my shadows' curiosity.  They loved interacting with shadows from different places, learning the stories they held of other lands.
Sometimes I wondered if they wanted out of this place even more than I did.
As I thought about this I wasn’t watching the Illerian male.  And so didn’t notice when he spotted me until he spoke.
“Hello there.”
I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard him speak, preparing to turn and run when one of his shadows reached me, tugging me into full view.
Luckily with my shadows and I being one, I would only look like a stark shadow.
“Who are you?”  He asked, not necessarily angry as he approached me, his shadows loosening their grip on my waist.
“Does it matter?”  I asked, my voice silkier in this form than normal.
He smirked.  “It does if you were spying on me.”  He said, and I saw the blue siphons on his armor glow threateningly.
This is normally where I would apologize, play nice until they realized I was no threat.
But he didn’t know who I was, and I was already boiling over with rage.
“If I wanted to spy on you, I wouldn’t have been caught.”  I say as I take a step through his shadows, his expression flickered to one of shock for just a millisecond before turning back into stone.
“Then what were you doing here?”  He asked, his head tilting as he looked down at me.
I grinned, looking up at him.  “Well, I was minding my own business when I heard some footsteps.  Really, I should be asking you what you’re doing here.”
His lips twitched upwards as he looked down at me.  “I’m waiting for someone to come meet me, but now I’m wondering if I should reschedule.”
My heart started to beat faster with the way he stared down at me, his gaze intense.  “And why is that?”
He grinned now.  “I don’t think I’ve ever met a shadow quite like you.”
I was trying to think of some response that wasn’t just embarrassed babbling when we both heard footsteps coming closer.
Without a moment's hesitation I turned and ran.  He called out after me, but I ignored it, knowing better than to stay around and see who was coming.
Eventually when I was closer to home, I let my shadows unwind, taking their own form again.
“Thank you.”  I whispered to them, and I could feel their happiness.
Meanwhile, I was once again spiraling, but for none of the same reasons as before.
What had I been thinking, taunting the high lord’s spymaster like that?  There were so many bad things that could happen.  What if he found out that I wasn’t just some shadow?  What if he found out who I was and told my father?
I took a deep calming breath.
He didn’t know who I was, and so there was nothing that he could do to me.
More confident, and something else than my impending doom to think about, I went home.
As I opened the door, my father cheered, “She’s back!  My precious daughter who is going to be our salvation.”
My mother was sitting in his lap, and I quickly looked away as I headed for my room.
“Oh, and sweetheart,”  My father said, drawing my attention back to him as he continued, “The date is set, in a little over a month you’ll be married!”
He laughed, happy as could be as he nuzzled my mother’s neck.
I felt sick.  About how soon I would lose my last scraps of freedom, how even though I could see the well hidden disgust on my mother’s face, she let him touch her, his hands gripping her hips so tight it must be painful.
As I went into my room and closed and locked the door, I couldn’t help but hope I would run into Azriel again, despite the risks.
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