#goodbye goatman

[suetrim]

My favorite comments from watchers goodbye video

Ngl after getting over how sad it makes me there downfall is kinda funny

[sorin-thru-the-sky]

Adam is definitely dead and here’s why

Ok so I’ve seen a lot of claims how Adam could’ve definitely survived all that, but I’m here to explain why that is highly unlikely. A lot of post are already circling around about all the injuries he sustained, but I decided to use pictures for my explanation. This will be a long post woops :, D

Trigger warning: drawn organs and humouring the death of a jerk

Firstly, I would like to start with how injuries, healing and aura work in RWBY, compared to how in real life damage to certain body part and organs affect the likeliness of surviving.

In RWBY trained warriors can activate a defensive aura that shields their bodies from certain injuries and heals wounds. Aura also has its physical form called Semblance which if used can deplete Aura. But once the Aura is broken, the body is vulnerable and it can’t heal fast until the Aura is full again. So we can assume without Aura severity of injuries works the same as real life injuries. 

Now to the Bees VS Adam fight, I’ll start from the part it all started to escalate, when Yang activated her semblance and punched Adam. His Aura was broken.

Which means his body was vulnerable and couldn’t heal.

Next, the Stab wounds:

I used Anatomy pictures and tried to draw as best as possible, but..

He got stabbed through the heart by Blake, which means a certain death, but if that’s not enough to prove that that killed him then we have the fall

His back hit a cliff on the way down which most likely broke his spine. I admit that fall doesn’t seem like it’s very long, but it actually was, shown by the next shot:

And not just that! The water he fell in is freezing and moving fast which means a big chance for hypothermia. So yep Goatman is definitely dead, gone, no more. Besides, plot doesn’t require his presence anymore so it would be illogical if he somehow survived all that so he could come back. Salem doesn’t really have a use from him, and I doubt Cinder or even Salem have necromancy powers? anyway, thanks for reading and I hope that wasn’t too gruesome.

[truxblooded]

Fucking 2019 was traumatic as fuck for me and 99.9% of the population... FUCK YOU 2020 IF YOU THINK WE PUTTIN UP WITH ANYMORE SHIT!!

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Spirit Communication for Beginners

Hello there! This is your somewhat bad advisor coming back with some more advice on your spirit witchcraft journey! If you’re curious about speaking to the otherside or just in for some paranormal hoopla....well you made it here. So...Welcome and I’m sorry.

Know Your Vibrations First

You’re gonna hear this everywhere from the witch community. Meditate. So, yeah. I’m gonna nag you about this too. Meditate. Meditation really helps you get to know yourself in a sense. When you slow your breathing, relax and just let your mind go, you start to feel things that you don’t normally feel while you’re buzzing through life. For example, I can feel the sensation of my body working. I not only faintly hear my own heartbeat (I got a loud strong bitch of one)  but I feel my body working, my blood pumping within me. I’m not saying this is what you’ll feel, cause I don’t know you, but you’re going to feel something new, something different most likely. Maybe you’ll mentally picture things better, feel like you’re dropping into something entirely new. Whatever it is, get acquainted with it.

Bonus: Learn how to ground yourself. Trust me. You’re gonna need it. Spirits are exhausting.

Start Off Small

Listen bud, if you’re just starting out on this journey...and you think you can just jump right in with a oujia board on goatman's bridge or some stupid shit like that...well...I’d say you were watching way too much buzzfeed unsolved and Shane lulled you into some cocky ass confidence and he’s gonna get you fucked up.

No.  Don’t fucking do that. By all means, go to a kind of active place, a peaceful graveyard if you’re with some more experienced people. Hell, start with a dead relative! I’m sure they missed you! But don’t think you can just stroll your happy ass up to a haunted asylum and think you’ll be fine. Especially if it’s your first time. I can’t stress how serious I am about starting off small. 

Don’t Deny How You Feel

Not all Spirits are gonna be able to speak to you, or want to for that matter. Some are just fine at making you feel a certain way to communicate. Some spirits have ridiculously heavy presences. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad or harmful. They’re just extremely there. Many are just as cautious meeting new people. Try to keep calm, document any changes and do your best to keep a level head.

Don’t Be Afraid To Go Nope

Spirit work can be overwhelming at times. Hell, I’ve been dealing with this for years and it gets me still. It is okay to quickly (and politely) say goodbye and distance yourself. They can sense your discomfort too. And if they’re nice, they’ll easily let you go, or leave themselves. Sometimes, you have to go nope. I do hope you don’t end up in a more dangerous situation, but if things get bad fast, do not hesitate to say goodbye, turn tail and fuck off. Some Spirits just will not have your shit and you have to respect that. 

Protect Yourself Dammit!

It can’t hurt to have some blessing over you, an enchanted amulet on you. Ground yourself before you work with them. Protect yourself from harmful spirits.There are plenty of protection spells and things all over witchblr. Research is important. Knowledge is power. I know I go for a couple layers of protection before I deal with spirits just because of what I dealt with in the past. Protection is no joke. If you feel like it, keep a flask of holy water on you if it’ll put you at ease. You do not want to be shaky when communicating. 

Politeness is Key

Be nice to the spirits. Just...don’t be an asshole. It’s not that hard. Speak clearly, calmly and just mind your damn manners man. You wouldn’t believe how far that can get you at times.

K.I.S.S.

Don’t do anything fancy especially on your first steps. Just do the basics, you can get fancy with it once you have some experience. Give simple gifts of apples, pomegranates, alcohol if you can legally buy it. Ask easy questions and just get a feel for the spirits around you. 

Don’t Try This Alone

It’s scary doing this on your own at times. So don’t do it. Not if you can help it. Honestly, I wish I had someone to help me with my spiritual communication. Get some trusted friends. Find an experienced person or group to guide you. You don’t have to do start this alone and I would prefer you didn’t.

That’s all I have for you for now. Be careful and don’t do anything stupid~ 

[tzaya]

I saw you liked shizaya and Buzzfeed Unsolved and I was like i see you're a man of culture as well. And then, I started thinking of a shizaya Buzzfeed Unsolved au or just a ghost au where like Shizuo could easily just pummel a ghost but it spiritual and respectful to the ghosts and Izaya's just... Shane

ah anon, you have good taste! ☆ ～('▽^人) 💕 i’ve never thought of a crossover between the two!! so going by that logic, does this mean that shizuo can touch ghosts? since you said he can pummel one 👀 but i totally agree, izaya would be shane honestly, just taunting ghosts because he doesn’t really believe in it or care enough. shizuo is more respectful unless the ghost bothers him. oh gosh, imagine these two doing that ouija board on the goatman bridge - shizuo would scold izaya for not saying goodbye right, meanwhile zaya’s like,, pff i dare goatman to knock me into the water right now 

[stillpartofthisworld]

where to start-Ch 1(TAZ Amnesty)

Now on AO3!

I will be updating this every other Sunday, hopefully. Please yell at me if I don’t.

-----------

They choose Earth.

Well. Duck chooses Earth.

It's not a big decision for any of them-Aubrey follows Dani, Thacker follows his dreams. Mama and Vincent follow their occupations, settling back to defend their home planets from-well, nothing, anymore.

Duck just wants to go home.

He says his goodbyes to everyone, buoyed by the possibility of reuniting-but he's not holding his breath about it just yet. He thumps Vincent on the back, grinning at the goatman, this minister of defense who was too curious for his own good. He shakes hands with Thacker, thanking and congratulating one another for surviving the short while they fought together. "We'll be in touch, Duck," He says, tapping a thin finger to his temple. He doesn't doubt it.

He hugs Aubrey tight, pretending not to notice the tears pricking at the sides of her eyes. "Take care, okay?" He says softly, and she nods at him, smiling. "Don't do anything too crazy."

"Nothing is too crazy! I'm a literal goddess!" She jokes, waving her hands to produce sparkles that settle on both their noses before blinking out. He laughs, mostly to relieve the squeezing in his chest as she grins back at him. God, she's still just a kid, and she's been through so much. He hopes life treats her well.

His laughter dies down as she hugs him again, squeezing him hard and fast. "Take care of Ned's shit, okay?" She says softly. "He'll probably haunt us forever if the Cryptonomica gets shut down."

There's a lump in his throat, but he manages a nod and a squeeze of her hand. "I'll be seeing you soon, you arsonist."

"I was a camper! I was camping!"

"Eh, matter of scale."

Aubrey laughs, and he feels his chest relax.

He turns around and sees Minerva. She's staring at the two portals, a perplexed and thoughtful look on her face. He goes up to her, reaching up and tapping her on the shoulder. "Minerva?" He says, and she turns to face him. "Yes, Wayne Newton?" She replies, her voice booming through the room. "Have you made your decision? Which world shall you choose?"

"Well, the Earth is a bit of a no brainer," He says, gesturing to the dilapidated room shimmering through the space-time-whatever rip. "I mean, I got a cat to feed, rent to pay, a job, you know?" He ticks them off with his hand, one by one. "So as cool as Sylvain is, I can stand being away from it for-uh, a while, as Billy fixes it."

(At the mention of his name Billy perks up, waving and typing out a "Tight, dude," into his voice generator.)

"Hmm! A wise and thoughtful choice, Wayne Newton!" Minerva grins, and Duck manages to smile back at her through the cringe of being called by his first name. "And, uh, what about you, Minerva? Where you headed, hm?" He asks, and her face grows pensive again.

"Well, I am drawn to Sylvain." She looks back at the portal leading to the city. "Its' architecture and magic system are quite similar to my own, you see, and is an interesting enough place for a warrior such as myself." She mirrors his previous gesture, ticking off her reasons with her six fingered hand. All reasons to leave Earth. All reasons to leave him.

He is not surprised-Earth can be pretty boring by anyone's standards, especially an alien's. But it doesn't stop the pang of hurt and fear that flashes through his chest.

But then she looks at him, and her calculating expression softens, for just a moment. "However, I think I shall choose Earth, Duck Newton. I shall be coming with you." She puts a hand on his shoulder. "I think that I would much rather live in a world that has you in it."

He gapes at her for a second, and she hurriedly adds, "And I must taste those frozen waffles once more! They are a delight!"

He chuckles softly at this. "Yeah, I'll make sure we stock up on 'em once we get home."

They smile at each other.

And then they step through the rift.

Mama drives them home, pulling up to Duck's apartment complex after making a quick pit stop for one waffle box, paid for by the loose change that miraculously did not fall out of his pocket. She puts the car in idle as they step out, looking out at the two of them from the passenger side. "Minerva, you sure you dont want to stay at Amnesty for the time being?" She asks warmly. "I ain't got much, but I do have a bed and some hot springs that ya might find to yer likin'."

"Many thanks, Madeline Cobb!" Minerva replies, and Duck sees Mama visibly wince at the use of her full name. At least she got it. "But I will be staying with Wayne Newton for tonight."

He is not sure why she chose to stay with him, only that she did and that he preferred it that way, anyway.

Mama nods, and pulls out of the driveway.

-------

Duck takes a shower first, which leaves Minerva to toast the waffles. She's got the hang of it now-simply rip open the packaging and place the pastry into the double slotted box that Duck calls a "toaster". She pushes the little tab down-gently,gently-and waits. She can hear the pounding of water hitting the tiles from the bathroom. She focuses on it. She'd rather focus on it that on the nothing that clouds her mind, the void where there should be planning for the next battle.

There are no battles to plan. They have won them all.

The waffles pop up.

She's spreading some Nutella on them (a heavenly condiment! what an ingenious use of modern technology!) when she hears Duck come out of the bathroom and head to his room. She looks at the waffles on her plate and, loathe to give them away, puts two new ones in the toaster.

She spreads these ones with honey (Duck's usual choice, though she is not sure why anyone would pass up Nutella) and is just about to enter his room when she hears him saying something.

She peeks in. He's lying on his bed, back towards her and phone in hand. The phone screen is lit up, dancing with colors for a moment before a face comes into focus. It's a familiar face, but not one she's seen in person. It's the face that's on the photos that litter Duck's living room, the one that's smiling with him on his phone screen.

It's the one that she saw encased in glass, eyes closed and mouth slack as they floated in the liquid that was the organic printer.

"Hey, Janey."

Duck's voice is soft, tired. The phone crackles before the woman-Jane, answers.

"Hey hey, Ducky." She sounds tired too. "What's up?" She yawns. "Why're you callin' at 12 AM, doofus?"

"It's 2 AM here, goofus."

"Ah, semantics." She sees Jane smile through the screen. It's very similar to Duck's, all soft with teeth just barely peeking out. "So, what's up? Wildfire or something? I heard about the blockades." Her voice shifts, sounding more awake. "Wait, is something wrong? Your signal is good, did the feds pop up a signal tower again? What's happening over there?"

"It's all good, Jane. Nothing's wrong." Even with his sister's alarm, he's still calm-relieved, even. "Just...just wanted to see your face."

A pause. Then, she hears Jane laugh nervously. "God, Duck, you give me a heart attack sometimes, checking up on me like this," she says. "I'm worried about you, you know? You never used to do this."

Duck is silent for a while, contemplative. "Do you...can you get away for a while?" He asks her, and this time his voice is soft, timid in a way Minerva has never heard him be before. "A weekend. Come visit Kepler. I...I have some things to explain."

She agrees immediately, settling on a date two weeks from now. "I'll see you soon, Ducky," She says softly, and the screen cuts to black.

Minerva hears Duck sigh, and the rustling of a duvet. When she peeks back in again, he is laying on his side, away from the door.

She decides to eat the waffles.

[thiswasinevitableid]

I have another Indruck prompt if you’re still taking them/interested: In Indrid’s absence from Kepler after the tree abomination, and in the wake of losing his powers, Duck finds a Gyspy Moth caterpillar. These moths are a problem in the Monongahela Forest because they cause deforestation, but Duck can’t bring himself to kill it. Instead, he takes it home and raises it from caterpillar to moth. He now has to explain to everyone (including Indrid when he returns) why he has a pet moth.

This turned out to be just what I needed to write today.

Duck spots the caterpillar. It’s a Gypsy Moth, bad news for the trees in his beloved forest.

Whelp, the little fella will have to go.

He picks up a small rock, perfect for squishing. But he can’t bring himself to actually squish it. His soft spot for critters doesn’t usually extend to ones that are pests, and for a moment he’s worried that Minnie’s disconnection means he can’t be tough in literally any way, be it physical or emotional.

Then again, a more likely explanation is that the word “moth” conjures up different images than it used to; a pair of red glasses, a strange face, an utter inability to handle cold. Dried blood on the face, tied up by the Cottonwood.

God, he’d felt like he’d been punched, seeing Indrid with the injuries from whatever scuffle happened with the goatminion.

Indrid is gone, flown away to who-knows-where, a string of “what-ifs” trailing behind him. Duck will never get to know him better, never figure out what the little prick of warmth in his chest whenever he saw the man meant. He hasn’t come back in months, and Duck can’t say he blames him. Kepler didn’t exactly prove safe.

He searches for a few stray leave, piles them on the seat of the jeep. Scoops the caterpillar into his hands and then deposits it on the pile.

“Alright little guy, let’s head home.”

———————————————

It’s a week later and he’s placing leaves into a shoe box for his new pet to munch on.

“There you go, dinner time.”

He’s managed to keep the caterpillar alive, in part because the cat is deeply uninterested by it. The kids book he found at the library has also helped.

Now one else knows about the shoe box or its occupant. Right now, it’s his little secret, and something about that calms him. He can keep this little fella safe, even though the rest of his life is shuddering and shifting under his feet in ways he doesn’t like. His once predictable world gets more fraught by the week. But his friend here will always need leaves, will eventually pupate, will eventually fly. How comforting to know things go on day by day even when disaster is around every corner.

Jesus, he’s waxing poetic about a moth. He really needs to sleep more.

—————————————

The days are consistently warm when his new pet finally pupates. It’s latched to a branch in the aquarium tank Duck found at a garage sale. Something about it being in this stage makes Duck anxious; he can’t see what’s happening, he can’t see if it’s okay and yes he knows, he knows how moth life cycles work and that it will be fine.

He’ll come back to him.

There’s a Pine Guard meeting tonight, and so he drives up to the lodge, more tired than he cares to admit.

The commotion in the lobby doesn’t strike him as odd, he just figures Aubrey is showing off a new trick. He steps up beside Barclay to see who he’s talking to.

Red glasses. And a wide smile that takes on a new depth as he appears.

“Hello, Duck. Nice to see you again.”

———————————————–

It’s movie night, and Duck is hosting. His friends are curled on couches and nestled on pillows on the floor.

Indrid is among them, having used his weeks back in Kepler to grow closer to the Pine Guard, spend more time at the lodge and around his fellow Sylphs.

That Duck has gone to his Winnebago on more than one occasion just because he wanted to see him has not escaped anyone’s notice. Duck is still trying to convince himself it’s solely to hang out with a friend.

“Uh, Duck, why do you have an empty fishtank?”

Everyone’s heads swivel towards where Aubrey is looking.

“I believe it’s not entirely empty.” Indrid says softly, voice suggesting he’s only half-present in the room.

Ned, Dani, and Aubrey crowd around the tank.

“It’s a butterfly cocoon.” Dani points at the purple-brown shape.

“It’s actually a-”

“HOLY SHIT it’s moving!” Aubrey gives a delighted cheer and Duck nudges Ned aside so he can see too.  They stand transfixed as little by little wings and body appear until at last they reveal…

“A moth? Interesting selection, my friend.” Ned peers at it.

“Isn’t that kind invasive or something?” Dani looks at Duck, who shrugs before speaking.

“Yeah, they ain’t good for the forest. But I found one as a caterpillar and just, uh, just, fuck, decided to, uh, hold onto, no. Fuck.”

“It’s a bit drab.” Ned muses.

“I rather like the color.” Indrid murmurs and Duck realizes he’s standing beside him, regarding the moth as it flaps it’s wings to dry them. He looks back at his pet and his breath catches in a way he hopes only Indrid (but ideally not even him) hears. The colors on his little friend are similar to colors he remembers from Indrid’s Sylph form.

“Did you name it?” Aubrey gives a small wave to the moth through the glass.

“Indrid.” It slips out before Duck can stop it; he’d called the moth that in his head. But when it slips out it’s to only him who says it as Indrid’s voice layers beneath his.

“Awwwww.” Aubrey says, giving Duck a look that he knows all too well. His cheeks are burning, and worse Indrid has gone silent.

“Oughta let him get adjusted to havin’ wings and shit. C’mon, let’s start the movie.”

The movie passes uneventfully, but Duck catches Indrid giving him odd looks during it.

And when everyone else departs, the slender, white-haired man remains. When Duck finishes waving goodbye to Aubrey and Dani, he shuts the door and finds Indrid seated in front of the tank.

He sits down next to him.

“You know I’m not really a moth, right?” It’s teasing, but there’s something else going on in his voice.

“Course I do. Just, the day I found him I was missin’ you somethin’ awful.”

“You missed me? Goodness, we’d barely gotten to know each other.”

“That’s just it. I wanted to get to know you better and then there was the tree and the goatman and then whoosh you were gone and I thought I was never-”

“-Going to see you again.” Indrid’s not looking at the tank anymore, his gaze fixed completely on Duck.

“I like you, Indrid, I like you more every day that passes, and apparently I liked you a whole fuckin’ lot before that because I couldn’t kill a fuckin’ moth larvae because whenever I thought the word moth I saw your face.”

Indrid blinks at him, head tilted to one side.

Duck smacks a hand over his eyes, embarrassed by the confession.

“Please tell me there’s a future where I sink into the ground.”

“No” a chilly hand moves his own from his eyes while the other cups his cheek, “but there are many futures where something else happens. If, that is, it’s something you want.” His smile is soft as he strokes Ducks cheek with his thumb.

“Please.” He whispers.

Indrids lips are as cold and as chapped as he expected them to be and he couldn’t be happier, wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer.

“More?” Indrid grins at him when they break apart and Ducks hands shoot up into his hair to pull him into a kiss and down onto the floor.  

“The answer is yes.” He’s panting now, staring down at Duck with delight.

“Can I at least actually ask the damn thing?”

“Sorry, go ahead.”

“Can I take you out sometime?”

The answer comes in yet another kiss, one with far more heat behind it.

“Do you, uh, wanna move this somewhere else. Don’t wanna scandalize the moth.”

“I’m his namesake, I can scandalize him as I please.” Indrid kisses his nose, “but yes, the couch will be far more comfortable.”  He stands up, offers Duck a hand, pulls him into and embrace once he stands and just holds him for a moment. As he does, Duck smiles.

Bringing home that caterpillar is one of the best things he ever did.

[shokujin-art]

The only thing I didn’t regret in the Reverse ending of Julian. Goodbye Goatman

[anistarrose]

This is Your Last Ride Ever, Forever (TAZ Amnesty x Balance)

Summary: Ned meets the Grim Reaper, who’s surprisingly encouraging of breaking the laws of life and death to stop the apocalypse.

Word Count: ~2100

Warnings: (canonical) major character death, character undeath, canon-typical violence

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19192672

A little Amnesty/Balance crossover to help cope. (Title is from Lifetime Achievement Award by Lemon Demon!)

***

The stars are beautiful, and then they’re gone…

And then, they’re replaced by a million spiraling lights, dancing above a serene blue sea.

Ned doesn’t join them, though. He feels anything but serene — no, he’s the roaring ocean that’s torn up and whirled around by a cyclone. He’s the weight that turns the storm deadly as it batters away at the harbor, as it rushes in to drown anyone who thought they could trust the sea.

But even now, he refuses to accept it as the end of the story.

Where’s Dani? Where’s the gate?

Am I dead? I can’t die yet, I still haven’t warned anyone that the shapeshifter was after the goat…

I still haven’t finished cleaning up the mess I made…

It’s ironic, perhaps, how close he came to leaving them just a few hours ago when now he’s so desperate to return — but really, there’s no excuse for him not to have seen this coming. Every time Ned thinks he’s lost it all, thinks he’s hit rock bottom, he’s proven wrong and finds himself sinking lower and lower — so why should this time have been any different?

A jagged rift slices through the air just a few feet in front of him, and he dives towards it without thinking. He’ll do anything to get back to them even for the briefest of moments, anything to warn them —

Appearing out of nowhere, a scythe swings in a broad arc, binding the rift shut before coming to a stop just inches away from Ned. He can feel the power emanating from it with a instinctive certainty he’s never before had about magical objects, and he knows in the back of his mind that one touch of that blade will banish him to the furthest depths of the afterlife, from which he might never see Kepler again even if he spent a whole century struggling to climb back out.

The figure holding the scythe is cloaked in black robes, their face obscured, and something tells Ned that missing him with the scythe was a calculated choice, an intentional choice. That if they’d meant to strike him, they would have, and that would have been the end of that.

But the scythe-wielder — a humanoid, somewhat stout figure with sparks of red electricity dancing all across their sleeves like static electricity — doesn’t make any further move to attack, and instead procures a book from within the folds of their robe. It floats in the air alongside their head, flipping through pages all on its own as if assigned to search for a particular entry.

“Look, bud, I don’t really want to send you to the Eternal Stockade,” the figure addresses him, voice masculine and tone surprisingly casual. “You look pretty disoriented, and I can’t really blame you — but you did just try to make a break for it, and if it turns out you’re a repeat offender, I can’t in good conscience let you keep hanging around in the low-security sector.”

He says all of this in such a matter-of-fact tone that Ned is left at a complete loss for words. Of all the visions of the afterlife he’d ever entertained, none of them had been so full of… bureaucracy.

The pages of the book come to a standstill, and the figure raises a skeletal hand up towards his shadow-obscured face, allowing Ned to catch a glimpse of something reflective — adjusted glasses?

“Let’s see here… Edmund ‘Ned’ Chicane, human, only one death — good for you! — at age sixty-three. You’re good to go, then — just don’t try anything like this again, or I’ll have to lock you up.”

Ned finally manages to collect himself, and choke out a few words. “You’re the Grim Reaper, aren’t you?”

The specter approximates a shrug. “Well, not the Grim Reaper. There’s three of us, for one thing, but… well, I guess it’s a pretty accurate description aside from that.”

Another thing Ned had never imagined was that death incarnate would be so willing to make casual conversation, but the realization gives him all kinds of hope. Escaping prison — and supernatural prison, at that — would be a daunting task, but just talking his way out of a bad situation? That, he could do.

“Well, you know, Mr. Reaper, if I may call you that — I’m a huge fan of yours, loved you in ‘The Masque of the Red Death!’ And I would really hate to throw a wrench in the operation you have set up here, but…”

The reaper’s book vanishes in a plume of smoke, and his grip on his scythe tightens. “Okay, I think we both know what you’re playing at here, and let me just warn you now — even if I did want to let you go, it’s not my decision to make. I already told you I wasn’t the only reaper, and even if we all agreed to let back into the world of the living, the Raven Queen would never sign off on it. Flattering me isn’t gonna get you anywhere.”

“But I need to get back!” Ned blurts out. “I made a mistake, a whole pile of mistakes, and I need to fix them — there is an entire planet, an entire world in danger because of me! The apocalypse is impending for a whole world of innocent, sapient creatures, and hardly anyone knows the truth of it! Hardly anyone can stop it, except me and —”

The reaper flinches at the mention of a world in danger, but Ned doesn’t notice because the words, the confessions, the pleas are now pouring out of his mouth too fast to contain. “Except me and the rest of the Pine Guard, but I left them without doing nearly enough to help, to make it up to them — so I need to get back, just for a few hours! Just to make sure they’ll be alright! To warn them, and — and to say goodbye, because they and Kirby were still the closest thing I ever had to a family…”

He’s oblivious to the enchantment the reaper has cast, compelling him to speak the truth — because if telling the truth meant getting back to Kepler, meant saving the world and in particular the Pine Guard… then not even Ned Chicane would dare to lie.

“Just a big, weird, dumb family of cryptids and magicians and park rangers and crazy old men trying to stave off the apocalypse together! I can’t abandon them now, I can’t —”

“Shh.” The reaper holds up a hand. “Shh, it’s alright. I just need to check something, okay?”

With his scythe, he cuts a small tear in the dimension, edges of the rift glowing a vibrant green. Yet the inside of the gash shows nothing but a churning storm of dark purple clouds that cover the night sky, blotting out the stars as the wind roars and howls like chained beast straining to be free.

“Yikes. It really does look apocalyptic in there. Tell you what, Ned…”

In the shadowy void beneath the cowl of his robe, a devious smile lights up. “Legally, there’s nothing I can do to help you. But if it just so happened that Edmund Chicane was an unnaturally skilled necromancer, who overpowered me and stole my scythe to slip back into his own plane of existence… well, he’d need a corporeal form to be much of a help to anyone, but surely someone of his skill level could reanimate his body without any help from me whatsoever… I’m sure he’d be in a good position to avert the apocalypse, in that case.”

“Thank you,” Ned whispers, but the reaper quickly raises a finger to his lips.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he replies. “Really, you should know… a stunt like that, it’s gonna earn you a lot of prison time. I’m gonna have to bring you back here eventually, and when that happens, a bunch of folks are going to want you locked up in the Eternal Stockade. I can try my best to get your sentence mitigated, but… the Stockade’s not a nice place, even if you’re only in for a few decades.”

“I don’t care. I’ve done prison time before.”

The reaper nods slowly, and with a flick of his scythe, he tears a longer gash in the air, widening the small rift he’d opened before.

Before he steps through, though, he waves a hand across his robes, and stands still for a moment as they melt away into… a plain white shirt, battered denim jacket, and faded pair of blue jeans, worn by possibly the most mundane-looking middle-aged man Ned has ever laid eyes upon.

“Now, Mr. Reaper, I realize that I’m deeply indebted to you,” Ned says, “but that said, what on Earth are you wearing?”

“Can’t walk around looking like a skeleton if I’m gonna sneak over to your dead body and resurrect it,” the reaper answers. “And just call me Barry, by the way.”

***

Kirby is speeding across Kepler in a stolen car with a screaming goatman buckled up in the back seat, and none of it feels real. Street signs and traffic lights pass by in unidentifiable blurs, but he doesn’t dare take a hand off the steering wheel to wipe his tears away. His knuckles are white, and the old station wagon’s engine is groaning from the exertion —

The four-armed figure of pure white light springs down onto the car, and a spiderweb of cracks spreads across the windshield. Kirby slams the brakes on instinct, and Billy lets out an anguished bleat as his head collides with the back of the driver seat.

“Fuck!” Kirby shouts as two of the figure’s arms jab in through the windshield, grasping at thin air at first but stretching ever closer to him, and he fumbles with his seatbelt and flings the door open. “C’mon, goat, we gotta run!”

“Duuuuuck!” Billy bleats, flailing his arms nowhere near his buckle as Kirby opens his door. Somehow, the seatbelt has gotten twisted all around his horns, and he won’t stop jerking his head around long enough for Kirby to untangle him.

“Stay still, please stay still, we don’t have any time —”

Billy’s head abruptly jerks up, and his slitted eyes fixate on something just past Kirby. “Nedddddd!”

“Ned’s not gonna be able to help us anymore,” Kirby chokes out. “Please —”

A firm hand lands on Kirby’s shoulder, and his blood runs cold as he realizes he can make out a white glow in his peripheral vision. The figure squeezes tighter and tighter, dragging him back from the car and away from Billy —

He hears the satisfying swish of a blade swinging through the air, and the figure’s grip goes limp. He collapses to his knees, and around him, tiny particles of light drift through the air, winking out one at a time like lightning bugs.

Behind him, a familiar voice remarks: “Got here just in the nick of time, didn’t I?”

Immediately, Kirby staggers to his feet and whirls around. “You — you died! I saw it on the drones! How —”

His voice cuts off, as his brain begins to process what his eyes are seeing.

Ned is smiling slightly, but it’s not that fake showman’s smile that he always wears at the Cryptonomica. No, today his smile is confident and determined — and just a little bit melancholic, too, in a way that someone who doesn’t know Ned as well as Kirby does could easily miss.

But then again, maybe Kirby doesn’t know Ned as well as he thinks, because Ned is currently wielding a giant ebony scythe with a long silver blade, and standing above the glowing, bisected body of the four-armed figure. Even as it disintegrates, it’s clear that it was sliced in half at the waist by a single clean cut.

And perhaps most damning of all is Ned’s shirt — ripped and bloodied just above the stomach even though the bare skin shows no sign of a wound, and the body as a whole shows no signs of being dead as an injury like that should surely mean.

“What happened to you?”

Ned’s smile widens, and the melancholy immediately drains right out of his expression as he launches into his familiar “storyteller” mode.

“To put it succinctly, my friend, I met Death and we struck a deal! He’s a surprisingly helpful fellow, you know — he did wear a truly unconscionable amount of denim, but there’s no accounting for taste.”

***

(Thanks for reading, feedback/reblogs are welcomed as always!)

[evaceratops]

the campaignverse gang in: the goatman’s bridge

feat. azlin [mine], misi [@mandowo], volya [@zoriis], brider [@stxrduste], and amaranth [@naberiie]

azlin: you know what, volya?

azlin: i’m not trying to scare you, but i got a bad feeling about this one.

volya: shut up.

misi: any demons here? got any demons out tonight?

misi: any horny boys, or whatever they-

azlin: horny boys?

misi: they got horns!

brider: why are you on this bridge?

[silence]

brider:

brider, to azlin: you ask questions.

azlin: why are you on this bridge?

[silence]

misi: goatman!

misi: you feel that? you feel the goatman energy?

volya: i don’t like when you say his name.

misi: feel some goat vibes?

misi: you may not like this, i’m gonna try and agitate it. i’m just gonna go-

brider: you do what you gotta do, and we’ll do what we gotta do.

misi: i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here.

volya: cool.

misi:

misi: FUCK YOU, GOATMAN!

amaranth: holy shit, dude!

misi: is that good?

amaranth: i thought you were gonna build your way up.

misi: no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up?

azlin: goatman, i’m dancing on your bridge! it’s my bridge now!

volya: holy shit-

azlin: you hear that? you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me!

amaranth: holy shit!

azlin: you’re gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

brider: he did throw somebody off the bridge once.

azlin: look at the way i dance on it. i disrespect your bridge, goatman!

amaranth: he’s takin’ names right now.

misi: you hear that, goatman?

misi: me and azlin and the archivists own your bridge!

volya: no, don’t loop me into your shit! stop looping me, i hate when you do this-

azlin: well, then, tell him! tell him you’re not part of this.

volya: i’m not part of their little charade.

azlin: you’re talkin’ to goatman now.

volya:

volya: i see what you’ve done.

misi: it’s goatman entrapment.

misi: goatman?

volya: i’m not with him!

misi: they’re gonna put my name in graffiti.

volya: oh my god, okay-

misi: children will come here and tell tales of me!

brider: alright, goatman.

brider: goddamnit.

misi: talkin’ to the goatman. opening up a line of communication. master windu would be very disappointed.

brider: shut the fuck up. i’m gonna murder you.

brider: i’m gonna knock on your bridge.

brider: [knock] [knock] [knock]

brider: it’s said when you do that, you can see his glowing eyes. 

brider: someone said they saw him standing on the… [illuminates the riverbank with her torch]

brider: alright, idiot. it’s your turn.

misi:

azlin: oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it.

misi: hey, goatman. [three quick knocks]

[silence]

misi: y’know, if you want me off your bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off.

[silence]

azlin: alright. we’ll come back for you.

azlin: let’s go into the woods.

amaranth: ooh.

misi: we’ll be back, goatman. after all, this is our bridge now.

brider: okay.

azlin: that’s how you get ‘em.

volya: i don’t- no, that’s not how you get them. shut up.

azlin: you gotta admit, that’s an effective-

volya: no, it’s not an effective technique! it’s a way to get killed!

misi: he’s probably getting upset though.

brider: this is a serious thing!

amaranth: hello? is there anything out here?

misi: HEWWO?

azlin: jedi usually feel overcome with emotion in here. like a violent emotion.

amaranth: … do you feel that?

azlin: no. 

amaranth: okay, good.

azlin: not yet, at least.

amaranth: give me a heads up if any of you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that.

brider: this is a doorway we’re opening. we’re calling for all the everything to come here, is what we’re doing.

misi: is there a technique here?

brider: you just rest your hands on it and you kinda let your energy flow through it. and it’ll start to move.

azlin: is there anybody out here?

azlin: what’s your name?

[silence]

brider: no.

brider: are you moving it there?

misi: i’m not moving it. i’m just sittin’.

misi:

misi: hey, you demon fuck!

brider: by the Force!

misi: i wanted to catch him off guard.

azlin: well, we have an S.

misi: we got an S.

azlin: if you can’t spell your name, this bridge is officially ours. they’ll tell legends of us here.

azlin: for a second there i thought it was going towards G, but it looks like it’s F.

misi:

misi: fuck yooou!

azlin: [laughs]

brider: alright. this is your last chance, demon. if you’re here, tell us your name.

misi: and again, you know the deal.

brider: i guess- if you don’t tell us your name, then it’s gonna be azlin and misi’s bridge.

misi: it’s our bridge now.

[silence]

amaranth: well!

misi: my bridge! ouija boards suck.

volya: we gotta close it.

misi: goodbye!

azlin: as we snuff these candles, so, too, do we snuff you from this mortal world.

azlin: [blows candle out]

azlin: you fuckin’ wimp.

amaranth: gods, azlin.

[watercolourferns]

A TO Z FOR ALL OF THEM 😜 how about A, M, N, and Y?

You, child, are gonna be my death. I WILL answer A to Z for all of them, don’t you think I won’t! I’ll just take my sweet time doing it. XD

Zayn[A] Aftercare 

Seeing as how Julie can forget this often for himself he’s in charge of reminding him. He will make sure the tall bean has had water and a small snack before round two or before cuddling and snuggling and stuff. Julian never forgets Zayn’s aftercare and the squirt is so grateful for that. He’s had partners who don’t care or forget and that gets him really down. He will ask for a bath, for his hair to be combed, and a clean shirt from Julian to snuggle in. And food and water of course. He will pull Julian into the baths, and snuggle there for a bit, telling him how much of a good boy he’s been, how much he’s loved, and what he plans on having him do next session… which usually makes Jules all hot and bothered and ready for round two if they aren’t already exhausted.

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)Without a doubt Julian is his motivation, the mere sight of the walking skyscraper is enough to get Zayn weak at the knees. But he’s got other more specific ones: being whispered in the ear how much of a beautiful boy he is. Forcing hands above his head, the mere mention of being in bondage, marks (teeth, bruises, stuff like that), hair pulling (oh gods, he will go crazy if Julian pulls his hair), being held by the wrists or the waist and pulled flush against Julian’s body, wrist kissing, neck kissing and biting, legs being spread slowly while hands are bound, a bit of choking, Consensual Non-consent (him running away from Julian, Julian catching up and threatening him a bit before going at it in some dark alley… oof, the shorty will be putty in Julie’s hands), public sex (yeah, the dark alley is also a motivation). Being told what to do by Julian, he will melt right then and there and he’s oh so obedient. Being praised and praising, he really loves praising Julian, and he loves a pat on his head when he’s done something the right way or followed an instruction correctly. Being a power bottom, and making Julian blush madly.

[N] NO (turn offs, deal breakers, things they wont do ever etc)

Drunk sex if it’s not with Julian. He once got too drunk and had an orgy with… horrible people… he’s very ashamed and disgusted about that. He won’t talk about it either so neither Asra nor Julie know.Lack of hygiene, lack of respect, dissing Julian as his Dom (oh, how he hates it when people chest up to him thinking he’s not “man enough”. He will curse anyone who does that, and will almost get out of control with anger. To him Julian is the perfect Dom and nobody will speak ill about him like that or in any other way without consequences). He also hates humiliation, the people he had the orgy with humiliated him before, during, and after and he swore it was never gonna happen again, plus he’s been called a slut, a whore, and other insults far too many times for him to find any joy in them.Real lack of consent: if you can’t respect a no, you’re a turn off to him.He needs to trust you, if you’re not trustworthy, you can say goodbye.

[Y] Yearning (how often to they think of sex, how long can they go without it etc)

Holy shit! He will ask Julian for quickies every four to six hours… you can imagine how long he can go without it. XD He will ask for a regular session weekly, and a MEGA session every two weeks. He’s got GREAT stamina and has a very abnormally high sex drive. I think the only one who can keep up with him is Julian, tbh. It’s just the way he’s built. He’s capable of keeping it together during work, during palace visits, and he can function as a normal human being, his flirting is a way of letting off steam and he’s got other issues to attent to like his zoning out, so he’s able to function normally. But when Jules is near… He’s just crazy for that man. His mere natural scent will drive the squirt wild…Malakie[A] Aftercare

Malakie is big on aftercare. He’s an anxious hamster, so he will make sure Asra is feeling comfy and taken care, usually forgetting about his own aftercare. The magician has to make him get still and let him take care of him because otherwise the sub low will hit him pretty hard. He likes a bit f a massage by candle light, and maybe a soft sweet snack like a piece of pumpkin bread and a cup of tea. He will not voice his needs unless Asra pressures him to. He just doesn’t wanna be a burden.

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)

Asra. Mal isn’t exactly a sexual person. He’s demisexual and his sex drive is from normal to very low. I think it’s his BPD and anxiety issues that make him like that. But if Asra is in the picture he will shyly ask for something. Asra’s neck, back and hands turn him on quite a bit, his scent and his kisses will drive him very close, and the floofy witch grabs him by the waist and pulls him close he will go mad with love and desire. He likes to make love softly, in a dimly lit room (he’s anxious about his body), while Asra whispers sweet nothings in his ear. He’s very vanilla like that, but he would like Asra to spank him once or twice, and maybe pull on his hair a little bit. Also, Asra saying “I love you” to him will have him melt and ready for anything the magician wants to do.

[N] NO (turn offs, deal breakers, things they wont do ever etc) Anything not Asra. People who like to harass people in the Rowdy Raven. Invading his personal space (he will almost literally run away screaming for Asra if anyone so much as touches him without his permissions. And I don’t mean accidental touching, but intentional one). Bad hygiene. Multiple partners, he’s strictly monogamous (was jealous of Zayn, but then he realised his adoration of Asra is merely platonic, so he let it go). Mentions of his existent or non existent beauty, he hates people commenting on his looks. Asra is the only one who can, but his way of doing it is so soft and different from anyone else’s he doesn’t think twice about it. He’s very anxiety ridden, so most things that trigger that are a turn off for him.

[Y] Yearning (how often to they think of sex, how long can they go without it etc)

As said above, he’s not very sexual, so he doesn’t think about sex often. But sometimes Asra will do something either to him or not, and that will get him in the appropriate mood. He ca go without sex for the longest periods, but when the mood hits him he will shyly ask Asra if they can do something that night… which will get the shop closed for the day. XD He’s happy that happens, but he’s too anxious to ask for it to be done outright.Dorcas[A] Aftercare

Aftercare for Dorcas is a good bath, a snoring sleep, a BIG feast afterwards and then cuddling with Lucio and the puppers the rest of the day/nigh/whatever time of day it is. He will make sure Lucio gets taken care of as well, he will personally clean him off, help him bathe, take off his arm and have it cleaned, and make sure he knows how loved he is. A he can’t speak and his hearing is limited he needs to pause every now and then to sign his wishes or ask Lucio what he needs, so it makes aftercare a bit slow. But this ball of energy likes it slow, he doesn’t like rushing things when it comes to this.

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)

A good spanking, he will be cheeky to Goat Daddy just to get a good spanking. And gods, can this bean be cheeky… Mention of ropes, being suspended from the ceiling, Lucio’s claws on his back… a moderate whipping. Anything that restrains him is a turn on for him, he’s always moving and bouncing around so if you have the power to force him to stay still he will be very turned on, and Lucio can do that. When Lucio speaks on his skin or very near him. He feels the vibrations of his voice and the hotness of his breath and it makes his eyes roll to the back of his head involuntarily. Being ordered around, not because he will obey but because he likes to see Lucio display his authority. Being caught doing “naughty” things, even though he’s only mimicking them: pretending he’s masturbating in the shower, just so Lucio will come in and see him and then give him a spanking because he’s not allowed to play with himself alone… stuff like that. So obviously punishments turn him on, so a good punishment for him is no punishment at all, that makes him really sad and makes him repent his cheeky ways.

[N] NO (turn offs, deal breakers, things they wont do ever etc)

The courtiers except Volta, no but really: Valdemar scares him, Vulgora is too angry, Valstomil is icky, and Valerius had a physical relationship with Lucio and Dorcas hates him for it as Lucio is his and only his. Lucio paying attention to anyone else but him will make him punish the Goatman for days.Being manhandled by someone who isn’t Lucio. Being ignored because he’s mute and partially deaf, if you make fun of him about it that’s a turn off as well. Relentless teasing, he’s got very little patience. Bad hygiene.

[Y] Yearning (how often to they think of sex, how long can they go without it etc)

He’s next on the scale of abnormally high sex drives. He will hide in nooks of windows, behind the think curtains, see Lucio coming along, grab him by the wrist and pull him in to have a quickie then and there whenever the fancy hits him. He’s less scheduled than Zayn, so he doesn’t really have a way to count how many times he does this, but he does it every day, all week, unless Lucio tells him he’s too busy, then a make out session will suffice him. He can have up to three rounds every night, and will get lonely if Lucio isn’t “home” (in the bedroom) by a certain hour. Then he will sneak into Lucio’s study, under the table and ask if he can give him head while the blonde finishes up his work, Lucio usually says yes. XD Don’t get me wrong, Dorcas is crazy for fluffiness, but he’s to energetic and one way to let off steam is to have sex with his Goat Daddy, so, he will grab any opportunity he can to do something or have something done. If everything else fails, he’ll go splash in the fountain and woe anyone who dares pull him out, Lucio will have any body part that’s touched his lighting bolt on a silver platter.