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heloflor · 4 years

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About MML season 2

So after rambling about one season 2 episode, I now want to rant a bit. So here’s a list of reasons why I find season 2 weaker than season 1. Obviously, this post is mostly me complaining about some stuff so, if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t read.

Note that this is a personal opinion and you have every right to disagree with it. Also, the points given aren’t sorted in any particular order of importance.

For those who don’t want to read the post (because you don’t have time/aren’t really interested/ can’t stay focused for too long etc) or if you only want to see certain points, here’s a list of what I will discuss here :

- Murphy’s Law seems weakened

- Dakota and Cavendish are like looney toons characters and more time is spent on them getting hurt rather than on their interactions with each other, which makes their plot boring

- Compared to most Dwampyverse couples, Zack and Melissa have no development

- Doofenshmirtz is annoying but does have his few moments

- A few jokes take too much time; in particular, “Cavendish Unleashed” makes me straight-up angry because of that

- They wanted to make a plot for Zack but it goes nowhere

- other smaller things like the lack of time spent on the school characters

Now, onto the longer version (very long post ahead) :

1. Less Murphy’s law

So in season 1, Murphy’s law was a main focus for the story, in the sense that it was pretty strong. Most episodes had stuff blowing up or getting destroyed. And often, you end up thinking that people got hurt by such mess. Take episodes like “Worked Day”, “Family Vacation”, “Murphy’s Lard”, “The Little Engine that Couldn’t” or “Milo's Halloween Scream-a-Torium”, to cite some of the most extreme cases. And yes, not every episode is like that, and some are even pretty chill when it comes to Murphy’s law like “The Race” or “The Substitute”. Also, Murphy’s law was conveniently turned off except when convenient for the story in major episodes like “Missing Milo” and “Fungus Among Us”. But overall, you really had that impression that Milo’s life was chaotic and explosive and hard to live by.

In season 2, there definitely were episodes in which Murphy’s law was strong, like for example “Freefall”, the ending of “Teacher’s Feature” and any episode with the aliens, in particular the last three episodes of the season. But for the most part, Murphy’s law mostly felt like an inconvenience rather than an actual problem. For example, you have “Walker, Runner, Screamer” in which like one problem happens or “Disco Do-Over” in which Milo very easily solves his parents’ problem. It also doesn’t help that both episodes have at least one character make a big deal out of Murphy’s law.

But aside from that, there are also episodes in which Murphy’s law doesn’t even seem to really happen. Like in “Lady Krillers”, “Spy Little Sister” (I’d argue that the lightbulb accident would have happened regardless of Milo’s presence) or even “Cake ‘splosion” in which Murphy’s law is there but overall it feels more like Milo overcoming the show’s obstacles.

So yeah, Murphy’s law is still present but at the same time it doesn’t feel as strong as the first season. And while it does give more time for Milo and co to have some character development I guess, overall it just feels kind of off. And now that I think about it, this lack of a mess in the A plot in a show that’s meant to be chaotic might be the root for my next complain.

2. Dakota and Cavendish are too cartoony

So in season 1, the B plot was my absolute favorite thing in the show. I couldn’t and still can’t get enough of these two idiots and how they play off of each other. But in season 2…let’s just say that I barely watch their plot during the first half of the season, and the reason is simple : Cavendish and Dakota are a joke in this first half. Their plot is all about them trying to get something and stupidly get hurt by it, and it just feels boring.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against these two getting hurt. After all, they failed basically all their missions in season 1 and looked dumb while doing so. But the thing is : 1. In season 1, it was mostly because of Murphy’s law so it wasn’t always their fault and 2. The main thing about them in season 1 was their interactions. The most interesting thing about them has always been how they act with each other, at least in my opinion. Heck, my favorite B plot (not episode but B plot) is from “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, an episode in which all Dakota and Cavendish do is talk to each other in different places. It’s just two guys talking, and yet I absolutely love this plot.

So yeah, you don’t need to make Dakota and Cavendish be incompetent idiots for them to be great, you just need to make them interact with each other. That’s also why, out of all their “collecting trash” plots, my favorite is in “Lady Krillers”, because I love the first half with Cavendish complaining while Dakota is being baby while listening to music + their dumb argument over moving the bag and then Cavendish getting scared and Dakota immediately getting protective. This is fun ! This is cute ! This is very dumb and I like every second of it !

On the same note, I can’t stand the B plot of “Disco Do-Over”. The idea isn’t bad and the old lady is a great one-of character, but overall the plot is just urgh for me. The only thing I like is when Cavendish says that Drusselstein sounds made up (I guess Professor Time never wrote an autobiography) and Dakota starts listing made-up words, only to end up smiling at Cav while saying his name slowly in a borderline flirty way, as if he enjoyed every syllable of it. But thing is, I consider that, when shipping is the only thing I care about in an episode/plot, it means that it’s bad. And “Walker, Runner, Screamer” is in the same vein. I can’t stand the plot.

There are actually two things about these plots that I thing really pisses me off (the fact that these plots don’t have much of the duo playing off of each other doesn’t really pisses me of, it just makes the plot boring) :

First of, it makes Dakota seems completely incompetent. Yes I know he wasn’t a first-class agent and even in season 1 he wasn’t that athletic or anything but there was still the feeling that he knew what he was doing. He always managed to steal from Brick and Savannah or know where the duo was, he was able to save Cavendish hundreds of times and finally who knows what the Mississippi purchase was. So while he wasn’t the best, there was some competence. But in season 2, it’s more or less gone.

And for my second pet peeve : Cavendish’s mortality. In season 1, it was established that Cav had a hard time staying alive and could die from tons of different ways, including falling from great heights or getting sent through a wall by a horse. And while we do see him survive a giant rolling rock in “Murphy’s Lard”, Dakota still makes a comment asking if Cav is alive.

But is season 2, it seems like they completely forgot about this part of his character. The worse has to be in “Loot at This Ship” in which he somehow survives when messing with the ship. But earlier in the season, there’s also “Lady Krillers” in which he survives a bull attack three times ! Though, what really pisses me off with that isn’t just the fact that he survives for the sake of comedy; it’s Dakota. In this episode, Dakota has no problem just running away and letting Cavendish get attacked by the bull ! And it’s the same thing in “Disco Do-Over”. When Cav tries to sneak into the garden and gets attacked, Dakota just panics and runs away ! I swear the first time I saw this I was like “Excuse me ?!”. Because you’re telling me that Vinnie “sacrificing himself over and over again with no regrets for Cavendish” Dakota is now ditching Cav in situations he finds dangerous in order to save himself ???

I’m sorry but it pisses me off. It might just be me overreacting but seeing two characters whose main strength in the story was their banter now interacting less and getting hurt more, with one of them going against everything he did in the first season; this just angers me. And so when I watch season 2, I tend to skip most parts of the B plot (which makes me watch like 1 min of episode for “Lady Krillers” because the A plot is very meh. “Disco Do-Over” has an adorable A plot tho).

And last note about these plots, I didn’t mention “Field of Screams” and “Managing Murphy’s law” because I tend to forget about the first one that I find pretty meh (the entire episode, not just the B plot) and the second one has a B plot based on cringy humor and I’m not really into it, though I do really like hearing Jeremy getting more and more tired of Dakota and the hug at the end is such a cute and underrated Dakavendish moment. Also Dakota makes a dad joke near the beginning and I absolutely adore that.

I also didn’t mention “Freefall” because it’s fine. Dakota is being Dakota (and I adore this dork), we start to see Cav get genuinely angry about his job which sets the root for the second half of the season, there’s one scene in which the two are clearly very bored and for some reason it makes me laugh, and the action scene is fine (also damn Cavendish knows how to fly a plane !). But I find “Freefall” to be a good episode in general so yeah.

3. Zack and Melissa

First thing first : I have nothing against the ship itself. I’m not a big shipper when it comes to child/teens characters but I completely understand why people ship them, and I agree that they have personalities that mix well together. And honestly, this point is probably my most minor complain.

That being said, I do believe that their relationship has basically no development. Or at least, if you compare them to other couples in the Dwampyverse. Because thing is, Dwampy tend to have pretty high standards when it comes to couples. I mean, if we look at every canon couple + a few fanon (aka “here’s my need to infodump about random stuff nobody cares about”. This part will be in italics so, if you want to skip it, you can see where it ends) :

- Phineas and Isabella : since the first episode, we see that Isabella is attracted to Phineas. And throughout the entire show, these two are always willing to help the other, with Isabella always wishing to help in any way she can with the project of the day and Phineas always wanting to make the best projects when it comes to Isabella (just look at how he gets upset in her birthday episode when the finale doesn’t go according to plan). So yeah, they’re two kids in love with a very sweet friendship that you know will evolve into a relationship once they get older and understand relationships better.

- Ferb and Vanessa : Ignoring “Act your Age”, this is the usual trope of a young kid falling in love with an older person. And just like with Phina/bella, it’s made clear that Ferb likes Vanessa and is willing to do anything for her.

- Candace and Jeremy : Same kind of relationships. Candace is clearly head-over-heels for him, Jeremy often gives her presents since the beginning of the show and overall is always patient and understanding to her. It’s very sweet and it’s satisfying to see them get together and know that they will stay that way.

- Linda and Lawrence : While we don’t see much of them, it’s made clear when they’re together that they genuinely love each other. Same for their respective parents.

- Vanessa and Monty : A very organic relationship. It’s two teens who find each other attractive and, after randomly finding each other in the same place, decide to talk and learn more about each other, eventually deciding to start dating. It’s pretty sweet.

- Sara and Neal : These two are just fucking adorable ! They’re two awkward nerds in love and the episode when they get together really plays onto this and it’s the most adorable thing. And while we don’t see much of them, at the beginning of “Love Toboggan”, it’s made clear that the two have seen each other enough for their respective families to know that they like each other.

- Amanda and Milo : Another duo of cuties. The idea of a relationship between them is hinted very early, in “Smooth Opera-tor” in which we see that Milo likes her. And throughout the show, we see them getting closer as Amanda learns to accept Murphy’s law and becomes a genuine friend to Milo. We also see that Milo really likes her and is always willing to help her in any way he can.

- Brigette and Martin : Probably the most underrated characters of the show. I simply adore these two ! They’re just really wholesome people, especially Brigette. She knew full well what she was getting into when she decided to marry into the Murphy family and it’s clear that she doesn’t have a single regret. Like the Flynn-Fletcher parents, they aren’t around that much but when they do you can tell they love each other.

And for some fanon ships :

- Buford and Baljeet : Basically an enemy to friends to lover trope. They start off as bully and nerd but, the more time they spend with Phineas and co, the more Buford shows off his sensitive side and learns more to respect Baljeet’s boundaries while Baljeet learns to stand up for himself. And by the end of the show, the two are genuinely close. Heck, even in “Act Your Age”, despite the canon ships, there’s one scene in which the guys tell Phineas that “guys don’t talk about their feelings”. After they say that, there’s an awkward silence and at the end of it you can see Buford and Baljeet look at each other before looking away with a sad expression, as if they did have feelings for each other but never talked about it because of the “boys don’t talk feelings” thing (which, in real life, is complete bullshit. Let men be emotive, dammit !). But yeah, these two have a friendship that grows over the show and is sometimes teased as if something else was going on there.

- Heinz and Perry : Fun fact : when I became an adult and started getting back into the show, I couldn’t help but laugh as I started to ship it because this is such a crackship on paper ! Also, everything related to Peter the Panda, especially “Time Out” and “Lost in Danville” is fucking hilarious because of how ridiculous it is. I love the Dwampyverse ! (and I just realized that I didn’t talk about the humans/objects canon couples but given that only one person can evolve in these relationships…yeah)

But looking at the show and the books, yeah, these two are like two people thrown into an arranged marriage and having to figure everything out. Even if they start off as enemies, they eventually get accustomed to each other, to the point of being each other’s most important person. We really feel it in season 4. In a lot of ways, these two are a lot like Buford and Baljeet (which a lot of people had already pointed out).

- Candace and Vanessa : This one is mostly based on how much Candace admires Vanessa in “Night of the Living Pharmacist” and honestly, it’s pretty alright. I can definitely see why people ship it as there’s definitely some material there and there with Candace trying to impress Vanessa and look cool in front of her.

- Cavendish and Dakota : Act like an old married couple 24/7 ; often have physical contact and never react to it, showing that it’s normal to them and that they’re very comfortable with each other, almost to the point of having no notion of personal space when it comes to each other ; call each other “partners” most of the time ; have known each other for at least 10 years given Cavendish’s change in appearance from “First Impressions” to ‘now’ ; have to share a room most of the time due to their work ; are compared to Perry and Heinz, aka Dan’s favorite fan ship (or at least it seems to be) ; would die for each other and are willing to do anything to keep their relationship going, including stopping a “break up” (Dakota’s words). What else is there to say ?

So looking at all these relationships, including the fanon ones, it’s pretty clear that Dan and Swampy like to give out tons of shipping material. But Zack and Melissa ? They act like friends for most of the show. In season 1, the only episode that’s really shippy is “The Math Book” with how they play off of each other.

The saddest part with this relationship for the shippers is that in the PnF crossover, we start to get hints that they might be a couple, only for them to keep the exact same dynamic as season one up until the very last episode of season 2 in which suddenly they act like a couple most of the time. And before you point out “Escape”, it’s probably just me but the way Melissa tells Milo to hurry because “It starts to seem like a date”, followed by Zack saying “You wish” in such a neutral tone gives off the impression that they don’t want it to be a date. So yeah, by the end of the day, it feels like they only got together because 1. Disney likes straight people and 2. They’re the hero’s best friends.

Seriously, on youtube, there’s a video that’s a Zalis//sa compilation, and not only is the video only 6 minutes long, but most of these moments could come off as two friends acting like two friends. And for the video length : reminder that there’s a Milan//da video from the same person that’s 17 minutes long, Amanda being a character that appears like ten times less than Zack and Melissa; and there are also two Daka//vendish videos, both 10 minutes long each, and they barely cover like 1/3 of the episodes the duo show up in. Seriously, a fanon ship has a hundred more shipping material than a canon ship ! Honestly, Zalis//sa shippers were robbed.

I think the only other ship that has that little development (and by that I mean way less development) among major characters is the one between Baljeet and Ginger. Honestly for this ship : Ginger shows that she’s interested and it’s taken as a joke in season 1; in the bees episode, Ginger listens to Baljeet and, while Baljeet is happy that she’s listening, he’s mostly happy that someone is listening, regardless of who it is. Then we see them dance a few times in the background, including in a Halloween episode in which Buford and Baljeet were sharing a costume and, as Baljeet and Ginger start to dance, we have a shot of Buford not looking happy about this. And yet somehow they became a canon couple.

With this forced ship, I tend to accuse Disney being homophobic and refusing Buford and Baljeet to be both single at the end of the show (seriously Disney seems to be so homophobic that they allowed couples between humans and objects but refused any gay couple. At least they seem to have started to be more accepting with recent shows from what I’ve seen).

4. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

So I know it’s been talked about but it’s still a major point in this season so I have to talk about it. So : in Phineas and Ferb, Heinz is a motivated inventor who was able to make inators that worked, though his poor planning and some of his ideas often got the best of him. But overall, he was just a nice guy with a certain genius and who was trying to cope with his childhood trauma in the only ways he knew. He’s also one of the best fathers in all of animation, especially given how much baggage he has, but that’s not the topic here.

Then, when Dwampy made “The O.W.C.A. Files”, they decided to change Heinz’s personality. Suddenly, he was a complete klutz who’s can’t do anything right and just pisses people off. And when they made MML, they kept this personality trait. It also doesn’t help that quite a lot of focus is put on him, which renders him even more annoying. I won’t develop much on his flaws because, again, others already did before. Instead, since so many people already talked about what was wrong with Doof in this show, I actually want to talk about the good moments that Heinz has in MML.

So, to cite a few : First off, the PnF crossover. Yes he does mess up his time machine with orange juice but that’s like his only mistake. Overall, he’s seen to be a great inventor who quickly understands the Pistachions’ weakness after spilling juice on a plant and immediately creates a plan around it. And speaking of which, I also really like how, when he meets the group at the beginning and is told to be a hero, he asks “What do you base your assumption on ?” (not a direct quote), which really shows that yes, he’s a scientist who thinks like one.

The moments where he butts head with Cavendish are also pretty good, especially with how what he says is only the truth : he’s not Professor Time, he’s just some random inventor, and Cavendish feeling so much deception is his own fault for idolizing someone. Thinking about it, it might actually be the only moments in the show in which he’s seen as more mature than another major character.

And overall, he’s just his PnF self in this episode. Like, there’s also how he talks to Diogee and, later, when Milo puts some pressure on him by reminding him of the stakes, he goes “I’m going to go back to talk to the dog”.

As for some other good appearances : “Spy Little Sister” has Heinz show up for a very little and it really works with making him a lot like how he was in PnF (honestly the lightbulb accident seems like something he’ll do in PnF. Heck, in the first part of the episode, he reminds me of how he is in “Doof 101”, episode in which the problems are caused by the annoying bugs and not him).

“Disco Do-Over” does a clever use of the “I am a superstar” video, though Heinz is a bit obnoxious in this episode.

The season 2 finale has Heinz once again act like a scientist when he asks the Octalian about shape-shifting.

Finally, I really like the friendship between him and Dakota. The two are definitely bad for each other and that’s what makes their interactions interesting. Though, I would have loved to see some time spent on pointing out the fact that Dakota grew up seeing Heinz as a hero. And on that same note, I would have loved to see a bit more of Cavendish interacting with Heinz, especially after Heinz and Dakota became “friends” (the last episodes give off the feeling that now that they made up with their respective partner, they aren’t going to hang out with each other).

So yeah, Heinz does have his moments in which he works pretty well. But most of these moments are in episodes in which he’s a minor character. When the show starts to focus more on him, he’s just annoying and immature, which is really sad given how great he was in PnF.

5. The humor

Now it’s time to get the claws out. Seriously, this part was meant to be short but I can tell from what my brain has in mind that I’m going to give a long rant. To be honest this wasn’t even really supposed to be a big thing to point out, like I could’ve put this at the end with the other “minor complains”. But one thing pisses me off so it’s now its own part.

So to make things clear first : when I talk about the humor, I’m talking about one kind of joke that the show has done since season 1 but that feels off in season 2. I’m talking about the jokes that go on for a while, sometimes too long; especially too long in season 2.

I think a good example of a long joke made right is in “Party of Peril”, when we have to watch Elliot get attacked by a duck for like 50 seconds. It’s a joke that probably goes on for too long but let’s be honest it’s hilarious, along with creating the recurring joke of ducks hating Elliot.

In season 2, they kept trying to make these kinds of jokes there and there; but for some reason it doesn’t really work. I have two examples : the first one is in “Teacher’s Feature” in which we spend 20 seconds on Scott dancing in a cringy way while the kids comment on it. And I swear as I’m writing that I’m considering checking the length because it feels like 40 seconds, not 20, and that’s the problem. Watching the scene, they could have easily cut out 5 seconds of him dancing with music to go directly to the part where there’s no music but he keeps going. Seriously. They definitely could have made this joke shorter.

But the worst to me, the absolute worst, is in “Cavendish Unleashed”. OOOH BOY the fucking waste they did there.

So in this episode, there’s a joke that plays out 3 times, two times the same way and a third time with a slight difference. The joke is about people wanting to sign a paper to destroy then protect the forest, only to get crushed by the alien and being unable to use their hand. To put it simply, this joke is boring. It doesn’t even feel like a joke ! It’s just 15 then another 15 and then a whole 20 seconds (more or less) wasted on this shit. And I swear I also want to go check the length because I remember that when I first saw the episode, the third joke felt like it went on for two minutes. It’s not fun, it’s just boring.

But what’s the problem with that ? Simple : the ending of the episode. At the end of the episode, Cavendish talks with the main trio, learns that Milo was the abductee and then tells the teens to leave. And they just leave, asking no questions whatsoever. Like hello ???? Cavendish has been missing for days, maybe weeks ??? Dakota is desperate to find him ??? Haven’t Dakota told the kids that Cavendish was missing ??? Hadn’t they noticed during “Cast Party” and even before or after that Dakota wasn’t with Cavendish anymore ??? WHY IS NOBODY ASKING QUESTIONS ???? Why didn’t the kids go like “Oh yeah, we saw Cavendish today” to Dakota ??? Why waiting DAYS before telling him ??? Hell, in “Escape”, he talks about finding Cavendish like the kids knew ! So what the hell was that all about ?!

Seriously. Would it have been too hard to remove that dumb recurring joke and instead have an angsty scene in which Milo points out that Cavendish is considered missing, only for Cav to feel bad about it, making us feel for him, and then tell the kids that he’s doing what he believes is for the best and then ask them to keep it a secret from Dakota ? How come the only time we see Cav feel bad about leaving is in a fan animation ?

This seriously pisses me off. The whole arc about Cavendish going rogue could have been one of my favorites. We could’ve seen him struggle to live, think about what he’s doing and why, feel homesick or missing Dakota and the others. Hell, he’s been stuck alone and conscious in an ice cube for who knows how long, so why did he never take the time to reflect during that time ? And yes he was conscious. When he gets trapped, his eyes move and when he’s saved, he’s able to protect his face the very moment the ice break, showing that he was well-aware of Dakota breaking the cube.

But no. Instead, this arc spends like 30% of its screen time on Cavendish doing a Candace-like joke about trying to show the ship and 70% of the screen-time on Dakota sulking. And in the last episode, there’s a scene in which Cav complains about Octalia, only to be remembered that he can save the planet; and then he goes on a rant about how he’s going to be the hero of Octalia, showing that he didn’t learn a fucking thing from his arc.

This pisses me off. This really pisses me off. No wonder I wrote like 5 oneshots around that arc. I need to get that “Cavendish is struggling” angst juice one way or another.

And speaking of bad arcs…

6. Zack’s plot

So in the first episode of the season (not counting the crossover), the characters talk about how Zack is a coward who tries to get over his fears. Ok so first question : since when is Zack considered a coward ? I mean, he’s very cautious when it comes to Murphy’s law, yes, but being cautious is not the same as being a coward. Besides, Murphy’s law is dangerous. And for most of the episodes, his reactions are the same as Melissa and Milo, when Milo gets scared. As for his fear of fish, anyone can have these kinds of irrational fears. Also there’s the Halloween episode in which it’s made clear that he doesn’t have much fears aside from the fear of dying from the unpredictable, hence his usual resentment with Murphy’s law.

It’s also worth mentioning that MML follows the trope of having a group with two guys and one girl; with one guy being the main character, the girl being the smart one and the second guy being the coward or the forgettable one in certain shows. I think this might be one of the reasons why there’s this idea that Zack is a coward.

But aside from the fact that, in my personal opinion, this plot comes out of nowhere, there’s also the problem that we barely see it at all. I mean, in “Snow Way out”, it’s put into the story. Then they completely forget about it and Zack goes back to act chill and cautious until “Freefall” whose entire plot revolves around Zack being fearful (again, rightfully fearful given the situation). Then it’s dropped again until “The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club” with the idea that Zack feels overshadowed by Milo (which, honestly, sounds like a more interesting arc than the whole fear thing). And finally, it’s dropped yet again until the very last episode in which they keep insisting that he has no fear anymore.

Seriously, am I the only one seeing this ? Or am I just bad at noticing the character growth ?

7. Smaller pet peeves

So that last point is a list of small things that bother me in this season but that I don’t see myself write 10 paragraphs about :

- Most of the supporting cast needed more screentime. Seriously, characters like Neal and Veronica basically don’t exist this season, Sara also has a much more minor role, Bradley desperately needs some kind of character arc, most of the school characters and staff are also pretty absent (we miss you Drako !), Brick and Savannah only appear twice, once being a cameo in front of a pistachio cart, and I’m sure there’s more that I forgot.

- A very personal opinion so it’s not really a pet peeve but time travel was much more interesting than aliens, though the plots were pretty similar with the people involved trying to get to Milo, only for Murphy’s law to occur and ruin their plan. Also, while I really like the captain/leader, the two guys sent to capture Milo are your usual comedic duo, like the two small devils in Disney’s Hercules (I don’t know their name in English, I only know that they’re named “Peur” and “Panique” in French).

And fun fact, “Spy Little Sister” is probably my favorite episode of the season, and while watching it, I really had a feeling of “god I missed that” when time-travel occurred. Though, I’ll admit, the aliens plot does a much better job using Murphy’s law, not only with the aliens failing constantly because of it but also especially in the finale with each character having their own backpack to “fight against it”.

- Bob Block. There was some potential with that character (*cough* villain *cough*). Though, I won’t develop here because I already did at the beginning of another post.

- The episode “Game Night” is weird to me. Like, it’s not a bad episode, on the contrary it’s a great one, but at the same time I find myself not liking it. I think the main problem is that it should’ve been a season 1 episode due to the whole thing with the deadly vortex and how Cavendish and Dakota somehow knew what it was. Also I feel like there’s a waste of characters. I mean, we get the Murphy parents, Neal and Cav and Dakota and yet it feels like the episode is mostly focused on the main trio + Sara. Also Veronica was robbed. They could have easily removed the whole vortex thing, hence removing Cavendish and Dakota from the story, and have Veronica with the group instead. Look I love the two time-travelling idiots but other characters deserve some spotlight too.

Besides, thinking about it, it’s a bit sad that Cavendish and Dakota don’t really interact with the others when they’re on screen. There’s like 5 people in the room and yet we either see them talk to each other or to the group in general (though to be honest this disconnect between characters even when they’re in the same room is also in the crossover and the season 2 finale).

So yeah, this episode is weird. It has tons of elements that should make me love it (the Murphy parents; Neal; Melissa being Melissa; Dakota being Dakota; some Daka//vendish, including a 3 seconds argument that has some of the biggest “old married couple” energy we’ve seen in this show; Milo and Sara being overly dramatic babies; the Veronica cameo). And yet, I somehow can’t find myself really liking it. It’s weird.

So, overall, it was still a pretty good and solid season. Most episodes were pretty fun and enjoyable. But they were still a lot of small issues that, in my opinion, makes season 1 much better; and when I decide to watch random moments of the show or watch full episodes, I tend to mostly pick in that first season.

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thefoxxyreview · 3 years

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*SPOILERS AHEAD*I would like to stress before getting into the meat and potatoes of this, that when I watch movies MADE FOR CHILDREN I go in with an open mind off the rip. You cannot assume that a movie that has targeted an age group years younger than you would appeal to your specific movie tastes as an adult. With that being said, I have also asked children if they enjoyed watching it and they all have said yes with a smile on their face. Safe to say they made the money and impact they intended to make with this movie so big score for Warner brothers. Now my true opinion is that this was a big flex film for WB and they showed us pretty much all the characters and properties that they own. The cameos were PHENOMENAL in this movie. I adore Easter eggs and many viewers do as well so beholding the amazing world of All these characters was very fun. Let’s get this part of the review out of the way completely…yes Lebron did terrible: we knew he would😅. He has done some voice acting up until now so he does have some experience emoting and acting on que. His line delivery was bad when things got serious. I think it was pretty hilarious when he made fun of himself in the middle of the movie. Everyone playing his family were pretty meh as well on the acting. It was nice seeing a beautiful family with predominantly chocolate kids in the house🤗. We chocolates don’t get a lot of love, especially Americans. While I watched on my live I had a fan inform me that the lady playing Lebron’s wife was in a Star Trek movie. I’m going to assume she did her real acting there…she was in Space Jam for looks🙃. I was really whelmed by Don Cheadle and his strange performance as the Quirky villain of this film🤨. All the live action actors in this film were cornier than the state of Iowa to be honest. You would never guess this man Cheadle was once the lead of “Hotel Rwanda”🤣. Let us move onto who I was waiting for, those tooooooons!!! Bugs bunny was voiced by the AMAZING Billy West who did a fantastic job giving me all the jokes. It was sad to think that with the years going by the toons decided to leave Tuneworld (that looked suspiciously like the App “looney tunes back in action” rendition of tune world) for better opportunities in this new internet driven world. The strange places that they found each character were hilarious to watch. Lola becoming an Amazon made all the sense and Zendaya did FINE!!! What were people expecting? Lola Bunny is an iconic character but at the end of the day she is a SIDE CHARACTER. She has never had her own cartoon shorts, nor her own show. Her character is actually very flexible and fans need to allow that. Literally anyone can voice her. For the lines she had, Zendaya delivered them beautifully. I thought it was cute when they wore their old tune squad jerseys to practice in😅. The tunes being live actionized was unnecessary and annoying! Lebron should have stayed a cartoon. The biggest problem for Lebron was putting the fun back into basketball and not understanding that as much as his son liked basketball he didn’t love it like video games. He built an entire game from scratch…that’s amazing at 12 or 13 years of age! Like most parents he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, but little Lebron decided to get bold at the worse possible moment, at a damn meeting with the owners of the company in the middle of a major deal for his dad😅. They both get kidnapped by an emotional computer program and end up having to play Little Lebron’s video game for their lives and everyone else who is watching the game. On top of all of this drama, the looney tunes would be deleted😭. HIGHER STAKES than the first space jam JUST SAYING. Jordan was only playing for his freedom and the looney tunes freedom…not everyone in the world who decided to open their phone that day🥴. There was a simple moral to the movie “just do you” or “be yourself” something along those lines that is ridiculously over done and cliche. It was definitely a Meh movie, but the merchandise selling is what I am here for!

#q2space jam #bugs bunny #looney toons #cartoon #lebron james #review

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toonqueen · 5 years

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DARK ANIMANIACS/TINY TOONS LORE

It's 9 am time for dark Warner sibling thoughts

First let's roughly establish:

-The warner siblings locked in the tower takes place in the same universe as Roger Rabbit.

-Tiny Toons, though not interacting with non animated humans, takes place in the same universe as well. It does have the same fourth wall break that toons are actors since they're going to school for it.

-Bonkers and House of Mouse also exists in this universe but that's a detail I won't get to today.

This is written without doing research, just based on my memories of eps so things may be off. Woo.

Main plot of the Warner siblings is that they were too wacky probably didn't fall in line to act to produce shows, pranked everyone, so they were locked up in the studio water tower. FROM LIKE THE 30'S TO THE 90'S JAYSUS. Though I believe there were some flashback eps where they broke out in the past. Lets roughly say from the 70s to 90s it had been completely silent in that tower. And that's kinda creepy.

BECAUSE TINY TOONS establishes toons can fade away if they are forgotten. There was an ep where Babs was looking for a female mentor. She finds old black and while films of a forgotten 1930s lady toon that no longer exists cuz I remember it is stated that she faded away because she was forgotten. There was also an ep where the Dodo bird was captured by a villain and started to fade because while imprisoned he couldn't be wacky so he was literally fading away.

So did the human WB studios get so annoyed with the Warner siblings they locked them away to disappear- pretty much the toon form of a death sentence? Damnnnn. But then, they don't lock them away in some vault in the basement. No, they lock them away in a water tower that is seeable from anywhere on a studio lot. Why?

TO SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHER TOONS. To be a threat if you don't stay in line and make us money you can suffer this same fate of not being seen by humans and forgotten and then fade away.

HOLY HELL.

Anyways this next part was written late at night due to too much caffeine:

Now let's get back to Tiny Toons for a moment. What I remember from the ep that covered the kids and school origin was some animator had made some of the Tiny Toon’s villains first but they did not like the show premise he pushed or something? Anyways, he creates Babs and Buster bunny with Bugs bunny in mind. (No relation, all three of them. ha.) He creates the other kiddo versions of Loony Toons? GOD REMEMBERING THIS IS LIKE A FRIKKING ACID TRIP. Anyways, the kids make a ruckus? Bugs and maybe Daffy show up? Bugs just makes the University that the kids can go do. Like I bet he literally just painted it on a map and then it exists like the freaking elder god level powers well known toons have like DAMN. So thats how that all went down in show.

Now my headcanon is that Daffy probably at first didn’t want to go along with this whole, ‘lets have this school for these new kid aged toons and be their teachers and we’re kinda responsible for them now.” lol since Babs and Buster was made with Bugs in mind, Daffy can make the side comment of something like, “Why am I responsible for your accident babies?” Now the funny answer Bugs can give is something like, “Well there’s a duck that there too that has your eyes.” the more serious answer Bugs can give if he is irritated that Daffy is being difficult about helping is, “We don’t want another water tower incident.”

Because OH DAMN Bugs and Daffy would have been created around the same time as the Warner siblings were. And here’s the thing. Most toons are ‘created’ being adults just already. Some could argue the Warners were children. Hyperactive children with all the sorta powerful abilities that all toons have. Then they were expected to behave and make shows that were watchible to make the studio money and instead were just locked away. THATS SOME MESSED UP SHIT YO.

So canonly Bugs made the school and headcanon he did it so the same thing that happened to the Warners wouldn’t happen to this new group of kids toons. Okay. Y’all still with me?

Okay, BACK TO THAT EPISODE where Babs finds out there is a lost female toon that would be a great mentor for her. What I remember once she saw the old reels of this toon’s stuff and found out of someone is forgotten the disappear. Just here seeing the vids doesn’t bring back this toon though. She went to Bugs I think asking for the lost cartoons to be shown in class or something. And I remember Bugs being a HUGE jerk about it. Not helping Babs showing the cartoons. Like cold about it. Like DAMN BUGS. Anyways Babs rents? Builds? A movie theater herself and shows the cartoons. It then surprisingly brings back the lost toon in question so YAY.

Now I don’t remember why canonly why Bugs was a dick in this episode but here is my headcanon. What if toons (At least WB toons) were lead to believe that only real humans believing in them lead to them not being forgotten and disappearing. What if this thing Babs did was a new discovery that TOONS not forgetting other TOONS could still keep them from disappearing. Bugs and Daffy would share a knowing look at this new information. One of them jokingly says, “I wonder if the Mouse knows about this.”

See something else is going down at Disney but I’m not getting into that now. Woooo.

Now let's assume soon after this incident is when the Warner siblings start getting active again, since their whole show was about them breaking out of the tower in now modern times after being locked away there for 50 years. Let's say that theater Babs made/used then started regularly showing old cartoons. Purposefully. Like a conspiracy to get faded out toons back real again. *cue X-files theme.*

BACK TO THE WARNERS PLOT.

Okay now the kids are back… mysteriously. The real human studio seems to have given up on having them be erased from memory and well, what was done in the 1930’s isn’t acceptable now so like they get that Dr. Scratch and Sniff to therapy them into good behavior??!?!?

Meanwhile while that's going on canonly I’m betting that Bugs, Daffy, and main Looney Toons crew are planning a Oceans 11 style heist to actually get the siblings out of there and to ToonTown/Acme Acres. Now they know they’d be in big trouble of the human studio knew they were behind this so they would go one step further and take the kids to Wackyland. Because while ToonTown in Roger Rabbit seemed like a place humans could go, I always got a vibe that Wackyland is this one step forward that no real human has ever stepped foot in so GOOD LUCK.

Anyways I’m sure their plan would work. I TOLD MYSELF I WAS NOT GOING TO LOOK UP ANYTHING WHEN WRITING THIS BUT I HAD TO CHECK SOMETHING. Daffy was created in 1937 and Bugs was 1940 so even though Bugs is the brains of the operation and the more popular one and has better skills Bugs needs Daffy to make first contact with the Warners because Daffy was the only one that had known them before the whole water tower lock away incident. Like he is the one that has to be, “Hello Fellow kids, how about you -uh come with us.”

Once everything goes right and blows over they would either introduce the Warners to the school OR have them stay in Wackyland and ‘homeschool’ them.

Also rewind there are two things that could have gone on with the Warner siblings in the tower. A: They were around the whole time from 1930 to 1990 and did not fade away because they had each other. Since they didn’t have much exposure to the real world they still are toons that are kids. Or B: They had faded away for decades, came back because a duck and bunny plotted to have their shows shown to new toon crowds. <_< They came back but have no really emotional scarring from it because they don’t remember it.

NOW EVEN DARKER LORE:

But okay Yakko always gave me this strange- offness sometimes, in the show. He’s the oldest sibling of course so the only one out of three that seems to sometimes make mature decisions. I mean, as much as these three can.

NOW IN THAT CANON BABS EP with her finding a mentor, get this- I remember from that old cartoon the toon that disappeared was from her male counterpart in the show was still around. Had not completely disappeared yet?!?!

What if- what if Wakko and Dot had disappeared in that long period in the tower but Yakko, being the oldest and still vaguely remembered, was all alone on that tower for decades. SHIT DAMN FFFFFF. He seems completely okay but like, Bugs or Daffy pick up that something is off? Like hey kiddo, everything okay? Man I think Yakko is so elated and happy his siblings are back he doesn’t even realize he might have some bad feels.

I don’t know where I was going with this its time for bed. Bleh.

#animaniacs #tiny toons #bugs bunny #daffy duck #yakko wakko and dot #yakko warner #wakko warner #dot warner #who framed roger rabbit #toontown

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anna-mator · 5 years

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How to Draw a Toon - (In-Progress) Fandom: Warner Bros, Looney Tunes, Disney, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Animaniacs, Rating: M Categories: M/M Relationships: (eventual) Bugs/Daffy Warnings: Language, moderate violence, cartoon violence, racism, Additional tags: friends to lovers, mystery, adventure

<< FIRST CHAPTER |

When the Warner’s alarm went off, it was always a race between the two brothers to see who’d turn it off first. If Yakko got lucky, he’d be the one to turn it off first. Otherwise, Wakko would simply use his trusty mallet. This morning, Yakko was able to jolt awake just in time to stop Wakko’s mallet from hammering down onto the alarm. He tossed it aside and then hit the snooze button.

Yakko sat up slowly, disturbing his younger siblings only slightly. Being between the two, he managed to worm his way out of their sleepy grasps and slide off of the bed. He smiled to himself, deciding to let them sleep in just a little longer.

After his morning-care routine, Yakko headed downstairs. Unsurprisingly, Bugs was already up and hovering over the stove. Knowing how jumpy Bugs was, Yakko announced himself. “Mornin’ Bugs...” he chimed.

Bugs turned around and gave Yakko a nod. “Good morning. You get your sibs up yet?” He asked.

“Eehh… I thought I’d let ‘em sleep in.” Yakko told him before moving to make himself a bowl of cereal.

“You spoil ‘em more than I do.” Bugs chuckled, turning back to the hot meal on the stove.

“I’m their big brother. I’m allowed.” Yakko said it before he could really stop it.

The two went deadly silent. It had been a year since he had taken them in, and Bugs still had no idea where he stood. Was he simply an acting mentor? Was he some kind of parental guardian? No one who was involved really knew. At some point in Bugs’ life, he remembered having decided against having kids. And yet, he took in the three without any hesitation.

Once Yakko made his cereal, he carried it over and sat down on a barstool chair under the kitchen island. He ate and watched Bugs prepare breakfast for the rest of them. Finally, Bugs broke the silence.

“Daffy is stayin’ wit’ us.” He mentioned.

Yakko swallowed, “Oh really? Why here? Couldn’t find himself a private island off the coast of Malibu?” He asked.

“Dat, I’m sure.” Bugs chuckled, “Also, I thought it’d be easier for us to work on school stuff. Dat and I figured it’d be nice to have some help around the house.”

“Oh right, your school.” Yakko remembered, “You sure you really want to hire Daffy as a teacher?” He asked.

“Why is everyone askin’ me dat?” Bugs felt slightly annoyed, “I brought Daffy on because he’s my friend. He’s great with kids and he’s been in this business for as long as I have. Longer, if you can believe it.” He defended.

Yakko wasn’t entirely convinced, still he nodded. “If you say so.” He said.

“You three were invited to the ribbon cuttin’ ceremony yesterday, by the way.” Bugs mentioned, shooting a glare at Yakko.

“Ooh… was that yesterday?” Yakko asked, pushing away his now empty cereal bowl. “Well, you know how it is sometimes. We all get so carried away on set and we end up home later than usual.”

“Uh-huh.” Bugs said, not quite sure he believed Yakko, “Ya mind waking up your kin? This is almost ready.” He said.

“I’m on it.” Yakko said, hopping down from his chair and making his way back upstairs.

When Yakko reached their bedroom, he saw Dot fully ready to go. Wakko, however, was still sound asleep and had taken over as much as he could of the California king-sized bed. After a solid few minutes of Yakko working to peel his sibling off of the bed, Wakko was up and able to start his routine.

Once they were all ready, the three came downstairs to see the kitchen table full of food. Dot eagerly sat down in a seat Bugs pulled out for her. Wakko raced to his seat at the table and began to pile his plate with the assortments of food. Once Yakko and Bugs sat down, Bugs turned to Wakko and Dot.

“I wanted to let you both know I invited Daffy to stay wit’ us.” Bugs told them, taking a bite of his breakfast.

At that, the two of them looked super pleased. “Hooray!” Wakko cheered before chowing down.

“That’s great! And for how long?” Dot asked curiously.

After hearing that, it only just occurred to Bugs that he had absolutely no long-term ideas concerning Daffy. Was he going to help him hunt for another estate? Daffy made it clear last night that the rent was ‘so damn high’, Bugs wasn’t sure Daffy was looking for a permanent stay. If he wanted to continue being a teacher, it was clear he would have to come up with some kind of living arrangement. While he was thinking along those lines, why did Daffy even agree to a teacher’s salary? Surely after all their royalty checks, he didn’t exactly need the extra income. Daffy’s motives were obviously very unclear to Bugs.

Bugs swallowed his food, “Eeehh… We’ll see.” He said carefully.

As if on cue, the three siblings caught sight of Daffy floating mid-air down the hallway, past the living room and into the closest seat at the kitchen table. Bugs had watched him and couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. He took the act as a high compliment in regards to his cooking.

Daffy gave a smile and a small sigh when he opened his eyes to the plethora of food at his disposal. Immediately, he began to eat. “Oh man, I could get used to this.” Daffy said more to himself than anyone.

After a moment, Bugs’ cleared his throat slightly. “Eh, Daff… I was hopin’ to go over some stuff about the school today.” He said.

“Today? No can do.” Daffy said, pulling out a cellphone from behind his back, “I have about five different interviews, three of them are public appearances and I have just about fifteen different emails asking for article interviews.” He said.

Bugs’ felt his ear twitch in annoyance. “Didn’t you just fly in yesterday?” He asked.

“What does that have to do with anything? I’m Daffy Duck. Soon to be Professor Daffy Duck!”

“Not if I decide I don’t like what you’re gonna be teachin’ at my school.”

Watching the two banter was like watching a tennis match for the siblings. Especially considering the two were at separate ends of the kitchen table.

Daffy glared right back at Bugs with no fear. “Then why don’t you come up with whatever I’ll be teaching, huh?” He asked.

“Daff, I’m the principal of the only school in Toon Town. There’s no official district to tell us what we should be teachin’. I jus’ wanna make sure we’ll be doin’ this right.” Bugs told him. After a moment, he realized Daffy wasn’t going to budge so Bugs rolled his eyes. “Fine. How’s about this? You go an’ make your way around L.A., do all your lil interviews, and once you get back ‘ere we go over school stuff... If not tonight, then tomorrow... Capiche?”

“Fine.” Daffy said simply, though it didn’t seem like he was too happy about it.

Once the two were done arguing, Yakko decided to speak up. “Well, we better get goin’...”

The siblings took that as a cue to stand up from their places, with Wakko being the last as he shoveled in the rest of his food as quickly as he could. Daffy watched curiously when Bugs stood up and walked to the kitchen, pulling out three paper bags from the fridge. “Y’all have your studio passes?” He asked.

“I have the studio passes, this time.” Yakko said, presenting the three lanyards for Bugs to see. “Cuz we all know what happened to Wakko’s last week.”

“I got hungry…” Wakko said with a small pout.

“When are you not hungry, Wakko?” Dot asked, to which Wakko only answered with a giggle.

Bugs began to hand over their premade lunches when they were at the door, “Remember, you run into any problems on set you call me… alright?” He asked. Bugs was satisfied when he saw them nod in agreement.

“Eehhh… could you venmo a couple bucks for the Uber?” Yakko asked.

“Your account should have a hundred smackaroons already…” Bugs said, looking suspiciously at Yakko.

“What can I say? I leave ‘em great tips.” Yakko said with a smile.

“...You’re on dish duty when you get home, Yakko.” Bugs said, pulling out his phone.

Yakko rolled his eyes, took the three lunches Bugs had provided and walked through the door. Dot hugged Bugs before she turned away, “Bye, Bugs!” She chirped.

Bugs gave her a wave and looked on as Wakko gave his own wave, “See ya, Dad!” And saw a mixture of amusement and horror spread across his black and white face.

The word felt like something had hit Bugs’ chest and knocked the air out of him. As if to soften this blow, Bugs immediately returned with a rushed sounding, “GoodbyeWakko!!” and slammed the door shut.

When the three got in their designated car, Wakko looked at Yakko. “Did I mess up?” He asked, with a small blush on his white cheeks.

Yakko sighed slightly, “No kiddo, you didn’t mess up. I’m sure Bugs is taking it in stride.” He said. “It’d probably be best to try and not to say it again until he gives the okay though, alright?”

In the house, Bugs had hoped Daffy hadn’t heard the exchange. He had hoped he wouldn’t read into the deep blush that had bloomed across his fluffy cheeks. But as soon as Bugs looked up and down the hall, he saw a smug look plastered on Daffy’s face.

Bugs almost wanted to run away, but he couldn’t. Instead he sat up and walked over to Daffy. “Why are you givin’ me dat look?” He asked.

“So much for the biggest Bachelor of Toon Town. You realize once the paparazzi get in on this, you’re rep is gonna take a whole ‘nother turn.” Daffy said.

“Unlike you, I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me or what I do with my life.” Bugs snapped.

“If you say so.” Daffy said, his smug look never going away, “Personally, I think fatherhood suits you.” He told Bugs. “And who knows what could happen if this household had a more womanly touch?”

After hearing that, Bugs knew what Daffy was trying to say. He shook his head, “Oh I see, you like to think Lola suits me… Cuz you and nearly half of da world thinks she and I were made for each other.” He said.

“Bugs… She was literally created for you.” Daffy said.

“No! She was a Toon created for one movie in the nineties, to be cast in the role of my love interest. Nothin’ more.” Bugs corrected. Do you know what that does to a Toon’s psyche? He nearly asked, but kept it to himself.

“But you two were together, eventually. And I distinctly remember that the only reason you two broke it off was because you told me you didn’t want kids, and she did.” Daffy pointed out.

Bugs felt his cheeks ignite once more, “Believe you me, dat wasn’t the only reason.” He said.

Daffy hovered over Bugs as he began to clear up the kitchen table. “Oh really? Pray tell, what else was there? Did she snore? Was she draining your wallet? Did she have an annoying laugh? Did she cheat on ya?” He interrogated.

“What’s it to ya, Duck?” Bugs asked, continuing to ignore his friend’s line of questioning.

“Look, any Toon with half a brain would give their left foot to have a perfectly drawn counterpart like that. To get a fraction of what every iconic Toon couple has.” Daffy told Bugs, “Like Donald and Daisy, like Popeye and Olive Oyl, like Spiderman and whatever her name is.”

“Mary-Jane…” Bugs finished for him.

“That’s what I said.” Daffy said immediately. Bugs rolled his eyes and carried a stack of empty dishes to the kitchen sink.

Years before Daffy had moved to his private island, he remembered Bugs and Lola being the hottest couple in Toon Town. The two were featured on tabloids and TV shows, and their joint merchandise sold like crazy. They had been happy and nearly inseparable. Now, Daffy couldn’t even find a single picture of Lola inside Bugs’ house.

“What happened to you two?” Daffy asked.

“Don’t you have interviews to get to?” Bugs asked loudly as he turned on the faucet and began to rinse off his dishes. “I thought your day was soo busy!”

Daffy looked offended, “You don’t wanna tell your best friend about your previous relationship when he asks, then fine!” He exclaimed.

Bugs stopped what he was doing and shut off the sink immediately. “You wanna pull that card, eh?” He asked dangerously. “Last time I checked, best friends didn’t leave one anoda high and dry in a mansion off the coast of Central America!” He shouted back.

“Hey! Communication is a two-way street, bub! You coulda called or visited me any time!”

“Yeah sure Daff, lemme just hop on my private jet to my private yacht and snorkel my way to your front door when I need you most.” Bugs felt and swallowed a small lump that formed in his throat after saying that.

“Why would you swim to shore when I have a perfectly good runway for the private jet?” Daffy asked, more confused than anything.

“Missin’ the point, as usual.” Bugs said, disappointingly. He felt a headache coming on when he turned the water back on in the sink, “Maybe invitin’ you to stay wasn’t such a good idea.”

“Are you throwing me out?” Daffy asked.

“I jus’ might, if you don’t leave for those interviews soon.” Bugs said, throwing Daffy a harsh glare over his shoulder.

Daffy turned away and threw his arms into the air. “Fine! I’ll go, I’ll go…” He said with a low grumble.

Minutes later, without another word between them, Daffy was in the backseat of a hired car and driving away from Bugs’ house. He pulled out his phone and rang up his agent. It was clear to Daffy that he had missed out on a lot of Bugs’ life. He was going to make it his mission to bring himself up to speed. As soon as he heard the other line pick up Daffy didn’t hesitate, “Cancel Conan, I’m making dinner plans with a certain pig.” He said.

“Are you sure, sir? Conan is a big gig. He’s really curious about Bugs’ school.” His agent asked.

“Then tell ‘im to get Bugs on his damn show.” Daffy said lamely before hanging up.

Once that was cleared up he dialed another number, “H- h- ah- hello?” The other end asked.

“Porky! My ol’ pal! I’m sure you’ve heard about it already, but I’m in town--”

“N- n- nuh- uh, no.” Porky stammered.

“--and I thought we’d play a little bit of catch-up! Whaddya say?” Daffy asked.

“W- w- well I’m uh- I’m a lil busy…” The other Toon started to say.

“Nonsense! Let’s do tonight at seven. I’ll send you the address.” Daffy said and then quickly hung up.

Hours later, Daffy walked up to the restaurant to claim his reservation for two. The place was dark, seemingly only lit by fairy lights, therefore making it a little difficult to see for most. Luckily, Toons were created to see in low light situations. Once he had reached his tall wooden booth, Daffy began to order. Not too long after, he saw Porky Pig approach his table and sit down.

“Okay Porky, I’m gonna need a rundown of every major life event I’ve missed in Bugs’ life since I’ve been gone.” Daffy said, without exchanging any sort of pleasantries.

Porky sat across from Daffy with a blank stare. “You- you uh think I’m his chronicler? He- he- his secretary? Why w- why do you wanna know this all of a sudden?” He asked.

“I’m staying with him. And since I’ve been with him I’ve learned that he’s been watching the Warners, started a Toon school, cut out Lola from his life and looks terrible after all of that. You and I are his only friends in this life—“

“Ab ab- We’re definitely not his only friends.” Porky tried to interject.

“—and if we don’t find out what’s eating him up inside soon, it could be too late!” Daffy proclaimed dramatically.

“D- d- does he owe you something?” Porky asked curiously.

“Porky, I’m trying to do something decent for my best friend: find out the stressors in his life and stop them.” Daffy said, crossing his arms.

“I d- don’t understand why you don’t just ask him.”

“We had an argument.” Daffy mentioned, “Plus, you know how secretive Bugs can get.”

Porky sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to get out of this no matter what. He had learned by now that when either Bugs or Daffy had their mind on something, they would see it through.

“Listen… all I- all I know is that shortly after The Looney Tunes Show was cancelled, Lola and Bugs broke up.” Porky said.

“But how? They were the jewels of Toon Town! They were inseparable. They did all sorts of mushy couple stuff. Even before the show, Bugs helped get her athletic career going. And Lola went to every sleazy bar and fancy casino Bugs could gig at when he was trying to get into stand up during the late 90s. You remember that, right?” Daffy asked.

The phrase that had haunted Porky for years finally slipped out, “S- she changed. That’s what he said, anyway.” He said. He had heard it from the drunken lips of Bugs Bunny himself. To this day, he didn’t know exactly what it meant, but the way he said it still unnerved him.

Daffy sat in silence for a long time. “Changed… what? How? When?” He asked, feeling even more confused than ever.

Porky shook his head. “I d- I d- I don’t know. My best guess has been that they just grew ah, grew apart.” He said.

Daffy wasn’t fully convinced. “There’s gotta be more to it. You sure he didn’t tell you anything else?”

“No.” He said quickly, “Bu- bu- but I will say. Ever since he’s had this idea for a Toon school, he’s been becoming more paranoid and stressed.” Porky pointed out. Immediately, Daffy thought back to last night where Bugs nearly caved his skull in with a bat. “And- and I don’t think raising those rambunctious kids on his own is doing much good. So, if you can, try to stay on his goo- goo- uh, good side and help him out.”

Daffy gave a small huff in Porky’s direction. “Yeah okay…”

Back at Bugs’ place, he had spent all day working from home. Brainstorming different classes, sending follow up emails to potential teachers and over all trying to think about his school. He knew that a lot of people, especially Toons, were expecting a lot from him. So he wanted to make sure things were coming together.

Later on, he received a text from Porky Pig that read, “Your feathery guest came to talk to me. It seems like he has good intentions, but I never know when it comes to him.”

Bugs rolled his eyes and replied back, “I’ll take care of it. Thanks for letting me know.”

After all of that, Bugs had found himself spending quite some time sitting on the couch staring at his cellphone. Every twenty minutes or so he’d remember the number was sitting undialed on his keypad. And every time he thought about calling it, he’d circle the room. After a long while, he finally took in a deep breath and dialed the number.

“Allison… I think I’m ready.” Bugs said when he heard the line being answered.

There was a pause, “... For…?” She questioned.

“Operation, Dad.”

“Oh!! Oh I’ll get the paperwork to you straight away Mr. Bunny! I’ll also get another interview appointment for you set up soon, y’know, adoption agency stuff. I’m sure they’ll be properly in your custody in no time! Well... as soon as everything is signed and approved, anyway. I’m so happy for you all!” Allison chimed.

“About the paperwork, I’d like to make a special request…” Bugs said.

Over the course of the next hour or so, Bugs and Allison spoke about what was next in the process in terms of adopting the Warners. Technically, in human years, they were full-fledged adults and would have been well out of the system. The three were created in 1991, after all. But there were a couple of rules in place for Toons which simply states that because of their child-like nature, they were still recognized as children. So Bugs still had to go through the same process as though he were adopting children. Even if that wasn’t the case, Bugs would most certainly find the means to adopt them.

Once Bugs hung up, he felt better about things. This meant they all still had time to talk things over. Bugs still wasn’t entirely sure about each of their feelings on the subject matter, but he was even more determined to find out now more than ever. Bugs couldn’t help but think back to when Wakko had called him ‘Dad’ earlier. So much pride and happiness swelled in Bugs’ chest, he began to softly cry. He loved them so much, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself if they didn’t want this.

To keep himself from thinking about things too hard, he wiped away his tears and decided to start making dinner. Cooking was a source of comfort to Bugs. It helped him keep his hands and mind busy. By now, Bugs had learned to cook meals for six or more, to accommodate for Wakko’s monstrous appetite. In truth, Toons had a larger stomach than the average human, a fact that was commonly exploited. For some reason or another, Wakko’s stomach and appetite was two times that size.

Bugs’ ears perked at the sound of the front door opening. He peaked around the corner with a smile, only to have it melt into a frown when he saw Daffy walk through the door. He had returned to his cooking by the time Daffy made his way into the kitchen. The two sat in a long silence, Daffy watching Bugs’ every move.

Finally, Bugs broke the silence, “You eat?” He asked.

“Yes, I had dinner with a friend.” Daffy said.

“You feel like sayin’ anythin’ to me?” Bugs asked.

Again, there was a long and agonizing silence between them. Bugs couldn’t help but smile slightly. He knew it was incredibly hard for Daffy to apologize. To admit wrongdoing would be admitting failure, and failure was less-than perfect, which was the opposite of what Daffy strived for.

“I was jus’—“ He started. Daffy immediately stopped that line when he saw Bugs’ ear twitch. “I want to help.” He tried.

“Well then, you can start by apologizin’ for pryin’.” Bugs said.

Daffy groaned out like he was in physical pain, “Auugghhh! Alright! I’m sorry.” He admitted. “I just feel like I missed so much.” He said, just before he noticed Bugs’ tail wiggle slightly. Daffy wondered since when did he find that kind of adorable? He tried not to let his eyes linger there for long; instead, focusing up on Bugs’ gloved hands while he prepared his food.

“Well if you really feel dat way, you can always just talk to me.” Bugs said simply.

“You’ve always been so closed off! And stand-offish! And you wouldn’t tell me that one thing.” Daffy huffed, crossing his arms.

“Daff, I opened my home to you. I answered most of your questions and I’ve been very patient. As far as things concernin’ Lola, all I’m asking is dat you leave it alone. You don’t wanna go down this rabbit hole.” Bugs warned.

Hearing him say that only made Daffy more insanely curious. Still, he filed away these feelings for later. “Fine.” Daffy said with a small pout.

Bugs looked over at Daffy with a kind smile, appreciating the fact that he was respecting this boundary. Something that, if had been brought up in the past, would have been trampled all over. “Y’know, I have a coupla questions myself.” Bugs admitted.

“Oh?” Daffy asked.

“Yeah. Like, why’d you wanna come back to teach at a school? It can’t be for da money.” Bugs said.

“You know what I’m about, Bugsy.” Daffy told him, leaning on the kitchen island, “I want fame, recognition and fortune. Owning a legacy comes with that. I want to be remembered in history books. Being apart of the first Toon school? That’s history right there.”

“Well, I can’t argue with dat.” Bugs said with a shrug.

Soon, Daffy took the barstool and they continued to talk. And just like that, it seemed like they were right where they had left off all those years ago. Daffy wasn’t sure if it was the content of their conversations, or if that was just the effect Bugs had on others. He was always such a smooth-talker and it always felt like he had control of the conversation. Daffy interjected when he could (it was in both their nature to be the center of attention, after all) and most importantly they shared stories.

From what Daffy understood, the Warners brought a lot of joy and excitement in his life. Even if it had only been a little over a year. Ultimately, Daffy was proud of Bugs. “So when are you gonna adopt ‘em?” Daffy asked.

Hearing that, Bugs nearly dropped a dish he was pulling out of the oven. Luckily he had been close enough to the kitchen island that the dish simply landed on it a little harder than if he’d normally place it down. “Eeh.. well, I uh. I talked to the adoption agency today, actually. There just needs to be a few more interviews and some paperwork.” He said.

“Of course. Wouldn’t wanna rush into somethin’ like this.” Daffy said.

“I… still don’t know if I’m ready, Daff.” Bugs admitted, looking down at his casserole. “I don’t know if dat’s really what they want.”

“Are you kiddin’ me?” Daffy exclaimed, “All you’re missing are family portraits to put in your wallet. You’re perfect dad material. If they can’t see that, it’s their loss.”

“Who’s loss?” A nasally voice asked.

Bugs and Daffy turned simultaneously and saw the Warners peeking around the corner by height. Wakko sniffed the air and gave a small sigh. “It smells so good.” He commented.

Internally, Bugs was screaming. He wasn’t sure just how much the Warners had heard of their conversation until Dot spoke. “So when are we getting those family portraits?” She asked with a grin.

“I guess we could all use some new headshots.” Yakko joked with her.

Bugs took in a deep breath, “They’re sendin’ Allison over for anoda coupla home interviews.” He announced.

“Oh won’t that be nice? I was starting to miss her.” Dot chimed. “Can you believe it took them ten interviewers before they found her?” She asked Daffy.

“She’s put up with a lot of our shenanigans.” Wakko said.

“Eehh… What are we gonna tell ‘er about the duck?” Yakko asked, pointing his thumb in Daffy’s direction. Daffy looked a little annoyed, but didn’t say a word.

“Oh! What if we tell ‘er he’s our second cousin twice removed?” Wakko proposed.

“We ain’t lyin’.” Bugs said quickly, “He’s here temporarily, and that’s what we tell ‘em.” He said.

Daffy shrugged and got up to start walking out of the room. “Well it’s obvious you’ve got some things to talk about. I’ll see myself out.”

With that, the four began to set the table with what Bugs had cooked for them. Once the table was set and food was served, Bugs spoke up. “About the adoption… I don’t need answers from you guys yet. The process is long to begin with. Just… think about things for me, alright?” He asked.

“You got it, Bugs.” Yakko said with a smile and a small wink.

After hearing that, Bugs felt like he was on top of the world. Things were falling into place more smoothly than he could have ever imagined.

----

Huzzah!! This chapter is more relationship establishing stuff. Overall, I’m satisfied with it. Hope y’all enjoyed it!

#looney tunes #baffy #htdat #my fanfiction

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lipstickwriter · 5 years

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Just finished Stranger things 3 SPOILER

So....

Alekseï !! The guy was a sweetheart, he was adorable and all he wanted was a cherry ice, not strawberry, cherry ! And to watch Looney Toons, he was precious!

And the guy who killed him was such a cliche... the plot about Russian really kinda got me bored ? The whole " USA good guys, Russians baaaaaad" kinda got boring on an entire season XD I get that historically it was the Cold War and things were messy but still xD

Max is absolutely amazing. I love her !! The girl is fire and fun and great ! I feel bad for her cause she lost her brother.

The brother.... I'm sorry but I absolutely hated him, still do.

Eleven... she's still precious and I love her. I'm glad she got to be herself this season, to live a little before things got crazy, she got to have a but of fun, go shopping, be a teenager.

Hopper.... he pissed me off. I still like him but he pissed me off. Do I get why he tried to get Mike and Eleven to spend less time together ? Yes ! Did he went at it the right way ? Hell no, he acted like an ass on this. I get why, but he could have handled it a whole damn lot better. I don't think he's dead either

Joyce, nothing to say, keep the good work girl, you got this ( people should listen to her more, she usually get what happens first but no one listen cause she sounds crazy )

Mike.... pissed me off a bit at first, could have handled event with Eleven a bit better, but he's still pretty good, I like him and I'm glad it turned out well for him and Eleven

Nancy.... girl is awesome ! Not gonna lie, I wasn't a big fan in the first episodes of season 1 but damn !! She turned out really well, she rocks and she's a badass !

Erica.. you're a nerd kiddo. She kinda get on my nerve when she act all bossy with Robin and Steve at Scoops Ahoy, but we all have to admit, this kid nailed it. She's just ten and pretty amazing !

Dustin, I have to admit I wasn't convinced his girlfriend was real xD we all doubted it. But he nailed this season like a boss

Steve is probably my biggest surprise cause he's the best, and take care of his children and protect them and that's such a beautiful character development if you look at Season 1!Steve

Robin... I thought everyone saying she was lesbian was a joke about her looks and her not being interested on Steve etc. But she actually is a lesbian and I fucking love her, she cracked a Russian code in one day, you have to respect that, I will protect her

Will... poor Will. He just wanted to play D&D but his worst nightmares came back and he had to fight again, just let him grow up and be happy a little bit.

This season.... still not as good as season 1 to me, was a bit long at times and the Russian made less sense that the others to me. But it introduced some great new characters ( Robin ) and the characters development were really good. So good season, can't wait for the next one

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zanyanimalstechnologytaco · 5 years

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My Hero Academia, the series, the fan media, the community all was a mistake of our time

I hate this show. More than Naruto and more than Fairy Tail. I hate Izuku, I hate Kstsuki, I hate how everyone and everything is just being forced to like everything about them, I hate All Might, I hate the Hero Association, I hate how light hearted and shallow arcs end. And I hate how things ended up with my once favorite character, his ship and everything I ever expected to be better became much worse and theres no male based fan media to or communities that allow my project myself in shouto anymore, seriously hes manly than "Cant stop Sparkling" guy now adays based on all the fan stuff he has about being with deku.

Todomomo was a mistake and Todoroki is a mistake. All bnha ships are unholy and wrong. Bnha is all shallowness and impure GARBAGE. I used to love bnha and was a big todoroki fan. But the more I invested through time in this character, the more i felt alone and isolated from the fandoms intention on shouto being bland fangirl fuel, the more I felt more distant from the character and not even the manga supports my reasons to invest in todoroki whom hori treats like the most shoehorned false hype emo in the show. And that offends me deeply, you got all these characters and the ones that you are expected to take seriously (and live through vicariously) are the most important characters in the show. Deku, Bakugou, All Might, Mineta, Kirishima and even Endeavor are these character and he obviously builds up there hidden character development in abilities and progression, shouto still struggles with his own personal development and is basically the same as he started with the added bonus of jobbing.

Oh and all the hype about him being cool and attractive, just irrelevant blanket statement extra tidbit filler, nothing meaningful but to make shouto explained why hes special, I prefer it if the story elaborates this by "showing" it, which the author just skims through with him and hand waves consistancy with contradiction in other following scenes making him seem like a weaker/dumber from before(ex. Fighting Festival(shouto a top tier student in every respect according to deku) to Stain Fight(Shouto is nothing but quirk reliant) according to Stain). Strongest quirk wise, this is all he has for him but even hes not even the most talented or intelligently trained with it, which makes me wonder of all shouto is just a blanket statement based character that just meant to exist to explore how insignificant he is with all his power and advantages compared to the main duo and other coming of age based events involving the cast. Even his father represents this more than his son.

Todomomo seems to relate to this, but its meaningless, just like everything else shouto has been portrayed by fans, based on how much the author puts his narrative into play which is also meaningless in the grander context of the story. Why make momo and shouto work together in the first place only to not build that relationship in future developments.

That pairing I hate(todomomo), I didnt hate in the beginning only to me because it was the only humanizing aspect todoroki had not related to his family and later the forced shoehorned dynamic with deku and bakugou, it made sense because the two are socially awkward people despite their supreme standing in the class and as first years and yet they both encourage each other by standing firm to overcome their own lack of socialization skills to grow as ideal people and improve socially, which seems to be working for momo now not shouto who's still the brooding loner elitist type(only has friends with elitist characters like friends too) . Now it's a husk and a relic of a potential investment in shoutos own story, I dont give a damn anymore, shoutos has no real anticipating developments to compel him to me, his quirk is boring as fuck since it's just a shooting targeting spammer, he isnt a good character to entertain me from a personal way, he really is a broken record of the same issues with a new idea, his family outside of endeavor and overcooked guy is more boring than him, and god I hate him with deku and bakugou which gives me more a reason to not bother with anything about him specifically since they will always overshadow him as story narrative and progress development narrative types, and I hate those two more. They are really just stand ins as horikoshi escapist fantasies, and both of them get more attention than any character as narratives who pretty much get the most attention in doing the most awesome feats and accomplishments as main roles. The new movie was about that. Shoutos accomplishments center around how he plays second fiddle to that basically instead of exploring the potential of being a pure equal to deku and bakugou, he gets the second in command villains or does something less than them in battles they already excell at in quirk control.

It's all worthless, shouto should not be this popular anything, and eventually this reflects in the popularity polls recently, which I noticed in the west from the previous one, shouto was less recieved by a significant margin compared to the main leads as a third place holder, maybe it shows me that todoroki is losing favor slowly, it makes sense, the author is not doing anything with him that makes people catch interest with the plot about strong heroes and villains getting more relevant as major players, while hes stronger than most the class but not plot relevant with his strength like deku has. Bakugou is like just like deku since the plot focuses on his strength to and is naturally stronger than Shouto via being the more badass and more aggressively driven he gets and thus gets as strong if not stronger and more skilled than shouto out of sheer plot armor. Shouto is just getting hotter and cold, bigger and more raw and unrefined in his power, so he has to control it which is still not as grand as bakugous perfect skills and genius and deku grander scaling in brains and brawn. If I were to make a guess, shouto is just going to to be behind them both as a stronger quirk user eventually and more about being a defensively capable than battle capable like kirishima and ochako, fitting for a major yet minor character, which disappoints me even more since shouto can be more battle creative than both of them if the author didnt have a bias in making deku and bakugou better than him despite having a stronger quirk.

God I hate this series. Theres no likable characters that are relatable or even human, there all shallow power and fanservice fantasies, the only character in class 1s that acts less cartoonish and serves as a stand in audience Surrogate is jirou and tail guy, but they are all about being generic looking compared to the unrealistically attractive guys and girls, the looney toon designed comic relief, and the recycled shonen trope cast. But if anything shouto represents all these shallow functions the most, and it's made him a less than a character too, it made him a sellout fan appeal type with no credibility as a character, which is why men dont like him due to not showing much concern to connect to him as a human narrative, at least the characters compared to him are showing why they(despite acting like shallow cliches) are interesting characters to care about, shoutos thing is telling about how tragically sympathetic his character needs to be as the only important thing about him, not as a part of him as a character to endear towards while he grows and helps build up a leading narrative with his development. His story doesnt help any part of the main lead or rivals growth, or his class, or his own personal objectives for his goals as a hero(being like all might and surpassing all might is a all purpose blanket statement to keep him near deku and bakugou as a power hype, not a individual self defined person). Dragging out objectives(season 1: being anti endeavor on surpassing all might which in the end pledges to learn not to do that and become better, season 2.Learning from the festival and from then on to being able to take endeavors legacy and take his training seriously which compared to deku and bakugou isnt enough to show much, Season 3. Promises to make people depend on him, doesnt happen since hes still the unapproachable person people in his class know him for. Season 4. Still makes promises hes gonna be a dependable hero, still accept his fire side, still be his own hero, things he repeats and fails to attempt because hori is lazy or just doesnt care about showing how much hes changed compared to his mary sue duo. etc) that dont happen and are inconsistent with new story details is why shouto is dead to me. High expectations about him are problematic since the author has agendas that don't involve story relevancy about him compared to the actual leading roles, plus the fan reception helps effect how I feel about shouto to, hes not even popular enough to have drawn pornagraphy with most all the girls and high quality momo hentai fanservice artists and circles, fucking mineta and your average joe otaku faceless male is more likely than shouto instead. That's how much the value shouto means to anyone than just a fangirl targeted audience which is just gay or bishi equivalent to sasuke fanworks and the feminine answer to male targeted audiences of characters like deku, bakugou and mineta, the worst and most common types of shonen stock characters in the series.

I hope this series and all the fans get tired of this shit when it gets eventually cancled. Or maybe it has. I dont really keep up with it anymore.

#shouto todoroki #rant #thisseriessucks #yamamotodoujinisthereason #my hero academia #peoplestopsupportingthisseries #boku no hero academia

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marchtwelfththousandyears · 6 years

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15 childhood crushes that embarrassingly ushered me into puberty EXPLAINED! (Pt. 2)

(Click here for Pt. 1)

10) Jenny Blake from The Rocketeer (1991)

I have weird memories of The Rocketeer in that my family owned it on VHS and I watched it several times as a kid, but for the life of me I can barely remember the plot of the film (something about Nazis, the mafia, and Howard Hughes?) But damn do I remember Jennifer Connelly, going from playing the bratty teen heroine in The Labyrinth to playing this role, which she is so unfathomably stunning to the point where she looks like a painting of a pin-up girl on a B-52 bomber come to life. Connelly as most of us know would go on to have a successful Oscar-winning Hollywood career, which she undoubtedly deserves for being a fantastic actor...but she’s also adopted the Hollywood waifishly thin lifestyle. I’m probably not alone in preferring a full-figured Jennifer over the 0% body fat A-Lister she’s become. I’m not shallow, I just grew up with hearts in my eyes for a sexy full-figured woman with more curves than Mulholland Drive. Va-va-va-vroom!

9) Lola Bunny from Space Jam (1996)

Ooooooook. Oh boy--where do we begin on this one?

It’s one thing to crush on the fictional cartoon characters I’ve previously mentioned. Sure, Jessica Rabbit and Jasmine aren’t real but they’re animated representations of female human beings, with Jessica being created specifically as a caricature which you’re supposed to be sexually aroused by. There are other animated ladies on this list I’ll get to, but none is more confusing and rather inexplicable as Lola Bunny from Space Jam. And when I say “inexplicable,” I mean it -- I don’t know WHY I was attracted to this non-humanoid anthropomorphic rabbit who most of us recall was created as a love interest for Bugs Bunny despite having never appeared in any Looney Tunes related content prior to the movie and, as far as I know, hasn’t become a mainstay since then. She’s also good at basketball...and apparently has been adopted as feminist icon for her “don’t ever call me doll” persona and athletic ability. I supposed that explains the attraction I had to her, along with her breathy baby voice and her Toon Squad jersey that was pretty much a sports bra and athletic boy shorts that accentuated her rather voluptuous curves--UM, WOW, let’s just move on?!

(it also doesn’t help that cosplayers are now “humanizing” her at comic conventions...)

8) Belle from Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Heeey, speaking of implied beastiality...

(shut up, I know)

While Ariel was the first Disney princess I became fond out in my early childhood, Belle was definitely my first crush. If you were to take all the character traits I talked about Ariel and Jasmine having that made them such endearing characters and combine them into one character, you would get Belle. She’s intelligent, independent, inquisitive, and rejects societal expectations in lieu of wanting more than some provincial life. More importantly, she’s selfless, empathetic, and lacks shallowness, all which plays in her favor when the film’s title finally pays off. There is, of course, her other attributes which help her live up to the film’s eponymous title: Belle’s unique look makes her not only one of the most beautiful Disney princesses, but also one of the hottest. If you’re puzzled about what’s so “unique” about her look, Belle was the first DP to have brunette hair and brown/hazel eyes. That’s right, after fifty-four goddamn years of showing blue-eyed/blonde-hair Aryan damsels in constant distress, Disney added some color to their characters--er, WELL, um, at least Belle was not a passive victim like her predecessors who just waited for Prince Charming to show up.

Also, seriously, just scroll back up and watch that GIF a couple times. HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE BELLE??

7) Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever (1995)

So does anybody even remember Batman Forever? It seems to be the one Batman movie nobody seems to have a definitive opinion regarding. Then again, Batman movies seem to be judged on a binary system; they’re either the brilliant, near flawless The Dark Knight -- or the total nuclear meltdown shitshow of Batman & Robin. And right smack dab in the middle of this scale is Batman Forever, a movie that is awful in every sense of the word but is vastly more competent and enjoyable that its successor. One of the subplots deals with Bruce Wayne finally acting like a responsible human being and not the raging billionaire psychopath who beats up criminals from Gotham’s lower-socioeconomic class which he thinks makes him better than the villains and visits psychologist Dr. Chase Meridian.

Like Lola Bunny, Dr. Meridian is a character who has never existed in any Batman/DC Comics medium, with her sole purpose being love interest to both Bruce Wayne *AND* Batman because tension(?) Then the movie ends and Chase is never seen, heard, or spoken of ever again in anything Batman related. Nevertheless, this was my first exposure to Nicole Kidman and I was quickly enamored by her beauty and seductive charm, which while was undeniably sexy coming from her breathy voice and Veronica Lake hair, it also makes for a confusing narrative. See, Chase isn’t a villain, but acts like a femme fatale looking to ruin Wayne with lust and psychology.

6) Janet...Miss Jackson, If Ya Nasty*

*yeah, I went there

Being born in the mid-80’s and growing up during the 90’s — where before the term “Millennial” was uttered, my generation was referred to as “Reagan Babies” — you bet your ass I was raised on a steady pop culture diet of Michael Jackson. By the time I was old enough to start listening to music that wasn’t Raffi or Disney sing-alongs on cassette tapes (jfgi, kids), MJ had already reigned as the King of Pop for over a decade with the albums Thriller and Bad. Sure, I was aware of the Jackson Family, but if you rattled off the names Jermaine, Randy, Jackie, Marlon, La Toya, and Tito to me, I’d give you a deer-staring-at-another-deer-staring-in-headlights look. Far as I know, there were only two Jacksons: Michael, and his little sister Janet...Miss Jackso--NOPE, not gonna milk it.

Contrary to my lame-ass dated reference, I got into Janet much later than the Control / Rhythm Nation era. Oh I knew her music fairly well, from her duet with brother Michael on the song “Scream”, to the mid-90′s pop/House/dance track “Together Again”, but it wasn’t until her 2001 comeback as a pop superstar with the album All For You did I go from viewing Janet as the “cool and badass sister of MJ” to “daaaaaaaamn, girl!” She could dance like no other, sing infectiously catchy tunes, and showed off a bubbly, fun personality. Oh yeah, she also had an impossibly perfect body, managing to be in better shape than most (if not all) of the teenybopper pop stars of the time nearly half her age. And that was all before I listened to her song “Would You Mind” off the album...wooooo [*wipes sweat off forehead*]

(Cont’d)

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captawesomesauce · 7 years

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5, 26, 37, 179

5: Book/series I reread?

I’m not much for re-reading anything, my TBR pile is bigger than most nations GDP and our own debt! It’s fucking huge. It’s massive. I’m literally surprised it hasn’t sunk into itself and caused a tear in the fabric of space and time, destroying all life as we know it. My ... TBR... is.... INSANE .. fuck.

So... I don’t re-read. EXCEPT! For books written by Douglas Adams. I read those constantly, almost daily. Sometimes the radio scripts, sometimes the books, sometimes even snippets he wrote on web pages. I absolutely love his writing and thinking, and he was just the master when it came to the English language and humor.

I’m so glad I got to read his books growing up, they still mean the world to me.

26: Favourite season?

Spring. I like that the days are getting longer, we haven’t hit June gloom yet, it’s not as cold/rainy, and flowers are popping out! But let’s be fucking honest here, I live in Los Angeles... the difference between winter and summer, spring and fall, is almost nil. I wear the same shit every day of the year, except for the 20 some odd days when it’s raining, and the 3 weeks when it’s so damn hot I can feel my testicles boil in their sack. We don’t really have seasons here, and that’s the way I like it best :D

37: Favourite TV shows as a child?

So this is a toss up between Black Sheep Squadron/Baa Baa Black Sheep and Tour of Duty. I actually watched more cartoons as a teen thanks to the disney afternoon and fox shows like animaniacs than I did as a kid. Early kid would have to be 3 Stooges though. Sat and Sunday mornings on KTLA 5, they’d have long blocks of 3 stooges followed by Mighty Mouse and Popeye which I hated lol.

179: If I were immortal, what would I do?

I think about this often and I wonder about the limitations. Like if I walked into a volcano would I still feel pain? Would my tissues regenerate? What about if I went into the lowest part of the ocean, would the pressure cause me permanent pain that I’d be forced to experience for eternity? Being immortal might actually be scarier because you’d be so afraid of hurting yourself or messing up and having to live with that FOREVER! Death is kind of nice in that regard, no matter how bad you mess up, you know it’s only temporary... you always have an off switch. Now, if I had super duper healing/regneration stuff... oh god, nothing could stop me! I’d dive deep into the ocean, I’d climb into volcanos, I’d go tour Fukushima and Chernobyl. Imagine climbing mountains without oxygen or worrying about falling. Skydive without a parachute! Just... open the door... step out.

Imagine actually BEING a super solider. Just walk into Mosul and act like Deadpool or Wolverine. IEDs are no big deal, rpgs don’t faze you, wars would be over quickly.

I’d also want to strap myself into one of those big Trebuchets they use for pumpkin chucking! Go full on looney toons ACME wile e. coyote bullshit here :D Just fling my ass a mile for the hell of it!

I’d climb up on top of a train and see the US for free. Tunnels might be a problem but the trick would just be to get back up, walk through the tunnel and get on the next passing train.

Ooh, I wonder if I could go into outer space??? Maybe even walk on the moon!

If I ever get bored I could try and befriend angry vicious animals ... I mean sure, for the first 6 months Tabby here would rip me limb from limb, but eventually he realized that didn’t work out too well and now I have a pet panther. I could even become a snake charmer... it wouldn’t matter if I sucked at it. LOL

I wonder if I could find a way to hanglide the Jet stream? I wouldn’t need oxygen, or food, or water, I could just be towed up there, released, and fly :D

#januaryinjune

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calebsaysstuff-blog · 7 years

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Stuck On a Feeling: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Review

The first Guardians of The Galaxy was the best film in the MCU at the time of release. It opened with one of the most emotional scenes in a Marvel film and instantly caught my attention. After numeorus viewings, GOTG has only grown in charm, wit, and quality. I, like many others, was eagerly waiting a sequel to the celebrated film. Was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 able to capture the magic and meet expectations? It is a simple question that has a complicated answer.

Once again, James Gunn opens the film strongly. This time he takes the comedic lighthearted route and instantly draws the viewer in. The first act is a load of fun. The banter is back and it is nice to see the crew in action once more. Rocket and Starlord exchange verbal jabs at one another, Drax is oblivious, Groot is adorable, and Gamora is charming and beautiful.

It wasn’t too far into the film that I noticed a problem. Although, I had been enjoying the sitcom style banter I became overwhelmingly aware that we weren’t really doing anything. There was no sense of forward propulsion. It was the space equivalent of watching Ted and crew hang out in the bar in How I Met Your Mother. It was enjoyable and hilarious but not much more. I caught myself nitpicking, and decided to turn off my brain. It worked for a bit. Then a gag was repeated to an obnoxious level and I was taken out of the film. I was once again aware of the looney toon-style physics that were on screen. The scene passed and I was drawn back in.

Next came my biggest gripe with the entire film…. THE RAVAGERS. They were unbelievably obnoxious. The overacting transformed them into bumbling henchmen. The intentional overacting was too much to bare. The Ravagers were portrayed as goofy villains from an 80s children’s movie. I was unsure if it was intentional or not but I was sure of one thing. I did not like it. There is a scene in which one of the henchmen is sucking on his thumb that made me physically roll my eyes.

A few minutes later began the highlight of the film! Rocket is amazing and is still outshined by Yondu. Micheal Rooker steals every scene he is in. He is thoughtful, hilarious and brutal. He is an amazingly deep character and is an absolute joy to watch. Rooker is deserving of a best supporting actor nod for his performance. Infact, the entire third-act is damn good. Gamora and Rocket get more time to grow. The third act is also where the story begins. I am fine with not following the traditional three-act structure but it created a problem here. Although Starlord’s story is the main plot, it feels horribly underdeveloped.

The third act is the entire film and the end is great. We have a very emotional scene to send the viewer out on a high note. This shows the talent of James Gunn as a director. He understands that the emotion the viewer feels at the end of the movie will be attached to the entire film. This almost fooled me. I had a blast in the end. It was funny, had a decent story, and meaningful. The third-act gave me the same feeling I got when watching the first film.

Overall, GOTG VOL 2 is all over the place and falls considerably short of the original. The first managed to blend all the moving parts together into a wonderfully quirky film. This time, everything that worked in the first is ramped-up and the result is a little over the top. I enjoyed the movie but I am not eager to see it again. If you are fan of the original you will most likely enjoy Vol 2. Keep your expectations reasonable and have fun.

7.0

#guardians of the galaxy #gotg

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lpdwillwrite4coffee · 4 years

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CHILDREN OF LILITH CHAPTER TEN

Sunlight was not Nikki’s friend at the moment. Her new irises were not only eerie, but also more sensitive to light. Any kind of light, in any amount. And sunlight was the worst.

“Oh my God, this is awful,” she muttered, covering her eyes and halting at the curb. “How am I supposed to function like this?”

She felt Griffin step closer, and his shadow blocked out some of the harsh rays. “Can you see?”

Steeling herself, she opened her lids a sliver and stared at the ground. “Okay, this isn’t terrible. I don’t want to rip my eyes from their sockets, so that’s an improvement,” she said to his boots. “This can’t be normal, can it? I mean, I know things are usually freaky when it comes to… your job, but this isn’t par for the course is it?”

“No,” Griffin admitted. “I’ve never even heard of something like this.”

Closing her eyes again, she tipped her head back and shrugged. “Well great. Here I am, your friendly neighborhood enigma.”

Griffin’s soft chuckle rolled through his chest and she felt it reverberate in her own.

“I think I have some sunglasses in my travel pack,” he said. Gently taking her by the shoulders, he moved her a few paces to the side. “Stay here, and I’ll go look for them.”

“I think I’ve seen this cartoon before. This is where the catapult with an anvil is aimed, right?”

He laughed again. “Of course not. Now don’t step off the bull’s eye- I mean, into the street.”

“Well if I have to go, at least it’s in classic Looney Toons fashion,” she said. “Okay, I’ll be right here next to this-” she patted the metal box at her side “-Newspaper dispenser?”

“Hey, you’re good at that. You should join a carnival or something.”

“It’s my career plan B,” she said. She could hear his footsteps begin to fade and she called, “Hurry back.”

With her vision gone, her other senses were working double time. Ambient noise from pedestrians was amplified and sharpened, to the point where she could hear the differences in people’s strides and the way each person breathed as they walked. Her olfactory system was rapidly analyzing and cataloging every scent, giving her a thorough, and disgusting, assessment of the city block she was on.

And then the ground began to shake.

No, not the ground. It was Nikki.

It was a fierce quaking that came from within, starting at her bones and moving outwards, through the fibrous muscles in her legs to the tender skin beneath her clothes. It pulsed in sync with her heart, which was now drumming out a war beat so intense she couldn’t hear anything else. She thought she would collapse again, unsure if her body could withstand such a strange onslaught.

That’s when her eyelids snapped open, and she bolted.

* * *

Screeching tires and angry shouts brought Griffin’s head around just in time to see a billowing dark auburn comet dashing across the busy intersection, narrowly missing a taxi.

His heart stalled and struggled to restart. Why was Nikki running?

“Nikki!” He called, sprinting after her. “Nikki, wait!”

The force of his boots landing on concrete shuddered through him, and he propelled himself faster. Nikki was barely visible ahead, and had he not been preoccupied with catching up to her, he might’ve taken a moment to marvel at her speed.

She disappeared around a corner and he cursed roughly. He rushed past slower pedestrians, ignoring the shocked gasps as he moved through a dense cluster of people.

Where the fuck was she going?

Spotting her at the end of the block, he yelled after her. “Nikki, stop!”

Instead she ran straight between two cars, causing one to swerve to miss her. Griffin’s heart stalled a second time, and lodged itself in his throat.

“Holy fuck,” he breathed.

Dodging traffic, he didn’t slow his pace, finally within a few yards of her. Taking a wide right across another street with fewer cars, Nikki ran into an alleyway and vanished. Barreling into the mouth of the alley, Griffin skidded to a stop, kicking up gravel as he slid.

Nikki stood motionless in the center of the small path, staring up at the surrounding rooftops, completely unaware of his presence.

Fear and panic comingled in his gut, turning into hot terror that seared its way up his throat.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” He yelled, striding forward. “You jumped straight into traffic back there. Did you even notice or were you running with your eyes closed?”

“Shh,” Nikki told him, gesturing with her hand.

Griffin glared at the back of her head. “Are you- Are you kidding me?” He snapped. “You’re telling me to be quiet, when you almost became road kill?”

“There’s something here,” she whispered, taking a small step forward.

Blowing out a warm breath, he planted his hands on his hips. “Yeah, trash and rocks,” he said, kicking at the ground with the toe of his boot. “And, oh look, a pigeon. Great sightseeing adventure, really, it was a big thrill. Now let’s go.”

Nikki glanced over her shoulder, and her iridescent gaze landed on him with tangible force. “Don’t you feel it?”

He scowled, shaking his head. “Feel what?”

“The pull,” she murmured, walking further down the alley.

It took serious effort, but Griffin was able to clamp down on the panic spinning inside of him long enough to let his other senses do their jobs.

Nikki’s head tilted to the left as if she heard something, and after several moments the dogs started growling.

His Glock was in his hand in an instant.

“Looking for us?”

Griffin spun and aimed his weapon up, in the direction of the man’s voice.

Above them, crouching on fire escapes and perching atop railings and pipes, was a growing pack of Vampires. More prowled over the rooftop ledges, crumbling brick with their fingers and raining clay dust on the two below.

“Haven’t seen you around much O’Connor,” the male Vampire continued, flashing his fangs. “I was starting to think you were out of commission.” His ghoulish white gaze shifted to Nikki and he leaned forward. “Whoa, freaky eyes…”

“Look who’s talking,” Nikki retorted.

The male chuckled. “Feisty. I like it.” His grin was lethal. “I wonder how much of a fight you’ll put up when I’m ripping out your insides.”

“Damn, I forgot how cocky you Newborns can be,” Griffin said, stepping in front of Nikki. “I know immortality’s fun and all, but how about you cut yourselves off a slice of humble pie, huh? No need to spend eternity acting like a dick.”

Growls reverberated off the surrounding walls, and two females clinging to a metal railing snapped their teeth in warning.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Griffin muttered. Glaring at the male pack leader, he said, “So is this flirtation gonna amount to anything or are you just yanking my chain?”

“Let’s see…” The male smirked. “You’ve only got two guns, one of which is still in your holster, and two magazines with twelve bullets in each clip. Even taking into account your reputation for being an excellent marksman, you’ll still need at least two bullets each to be absolutely sure you made your mark. And that leaves you dangerously out of ammo.”

“Look who passed eighth grade math. Your mommy must be so proud.”

“My mother died in the forties,” he said matter-of-factly. “Now what’s it gonna be Hunter?” He swung from the top landing, to the one below, alighting on the steel railing. “Fight or flight?”

Absently, Griffin felt the pulsing vibrations of his phone in his pocket, and he gritted his teeth. Now was really not the time.

Eyes still locked on the Vampire, Griffin took half a step back towards Nikki. “Hey Nik, how are your shoes?”

“My shoes?” Nikki blinked at him, silently questioning his sanity.

“Yeah,” he said. “You know, after that nice little jog we had, I just wanted to make sure your shoes were still alright.”

Scowling, Nikki answered, “My shoes are fine Griffin.”

“No blisters?” He asked. “Your socks aren’t doing that annoying bunching thing are they? ‘Cause I hate when that happens.”

“My socks are perfectly un-bunched, Griffin,” she said, her voice hitching slightly.

“Good,” he said with a firm nod. “Then you should run.”

Griffin squeezed the trigger, before turning and grabbing a hold of Nikki’s arm, pulling her with him as they ran. He hadn’t needed a second bullet- His aim was perfect. Falling to the ground, grey-green ooze spilled from the bullet wound in the Vampire’s chest. The hole cracked and caved in, decay quickly spreading throughout his body. In seconds he disintegrated into ash, leaving nothing behind but dirty clothing and a pair of boots.

Furious roars erupted from the pack as they leapt after them. Splitting their group, half stayed to the roof tops while the others made a running jump to the ground, their heavy foot falls gaining on Nikki and Griffin.

Pushing her ahead, Griffin turned and aimed at the pack behind them. He hit two in the chest but missed their hearts by a few centimeters. He kept firing, knowing the silver would slow them down.

“Run,” Griffin shouted at her. As fast as before.

Nikki understood what was implied, pumping her legs faster. She rounded the corner and glanced up, watching the Vampires vaulting overhead. Their movements were bestial; some of them dropping to all fours to pounce over obstacles and hurtle to the next building.

“Where do I go?” She yelled behind her.

“Straight!” Griffin shouted over the gunfire.

Going straight was more treacherous than she anticipated, as it led them right out into a busy street. If they survived, she was going to have a long talk with Griffin about his hypocrisy.

Leaping over the hood of a sedan, she navigated the four lanes of traffic as horns blared around her. Sounds of crunching metal brought her head around and she gasped, seeing a half a dozen Vampires hop-scotching across the tops of cars and vans, leaving foot shaped craters in the roofs.

Just as she made it past a white service van she heard the awful squeal of tires and a sickening thud that nearly brought her to a full stop in front of a bus. She skidded to the other side of the street and whirled around, preparing for the worst.

“Griffin?” She screamed over the noise. When she didn’t see him, her stomach twisted.

Her right foot was off the curb, ready to go back for him, when the top of his head popped over the bumper of the taxi that hit him. The horrified driver was rambling in Italian and leaning out of his open window. Shoving himself off the ground, Griffin scrambled away from the Vampires that were gaining on him by the millisecond.

“Go!” He shouted, just as his left leg buckled, and he started to pitch forward.

Catching him by the forearm, Nikki hauled him with her as she started running. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, as if she couldn’t see he was limping. “Just go!”

Reluctantly, Nikki released him and aimed herself forward, sprinting past confused pedestrians and busy store fronts. She turned right down a wide alley and nearly collided with a delivery man and his hand truck. Weaving, she ran past him, hoping Griffin was right behind her.

The path divided into a T-shape and she started to take another left, until she saw it was blocked by several dumpsters. Skidding awkwardly, she glanced off the brick wall and headed right, towards another street.

Something whirred past her ear with a deafening bang that sent her reeling. Covering her head, her eyes darted everywhere, searching for the source of the gunshot.

Boz stood at the end of the alley, aiming his gun over Nikki’s head, and firing a second shot. She could hear the screech of a dying female before the body fell to the ground, shattering into chunks of ashy flesh.

“C’mon,” he yelled, squeezing the trigger again, bringing down a lanky male.

Nikki started to slow her gait, but Boz waved her past.

“Keep going,” he ordered, turning to run once Griffin was close. Two more shots were fired- from whose gun she wasn’t sure. But she did as she was told, continuing to sprint down the sidewalk.

Ducking into an empty doorway, Boz pulled a set of compact canisters from his belt and pushed the release valves.

“These oughtta slow ‘em down,” he said, leaving one near the building and rolling the other in the direction they’d just come.

“You brought the silver flashes?” Griffin asked as Boz picked up his pace.

“I figured this was an emergency,” Boz said. “Here,” he called, handing Griffin extra clips. “Happy I brought those?”

“Very,” Griffin said with a nod.

The question of what the silver flashes did was on Nikki’s lips, when a sharp pop sounded behind them, followed by a hiss and a stream of glittering smoke. A female Vampire ran directly through the cloud, and screamed. Her skin warped and tore, melting off her bones. She clutched her disintegrating face, futilely trying to protect her sensitive eyes and mouth. Retching, she stumbled and collapsed to the ground, twitching.

“Holy shit,” Nikki gasped.

“Gross and effective,” Boz called, looking over his shoulder. “Just how we like it.”

They ran at top speed for three blocks before slowing to a fast jog. The thinned pack was nowhere for them to see, but Nikki could still feel their presence circling in a wide radius. They weren’t being hotly pursued anymore. They were being corralled.

“We need a plan,” she said quietly, unsure of how good Vampire hearing was.

Boz skidded to a stop and gestured for them to follow him into another alley. “Over here,” he said, trotting past overflowing dumpsters.

Secluded in a nest of refuse, the trio regrouped, which at first only involved catching their breath.

“Alright, so bullet points,” Boz said, nodding at them. “You guys were hit with a massive shit storm. You’re injured-” he said, pointing at Griffin’s blood soaked shin. “-And you’re… Whoa… Freaky eyes,” he stammered, fully taking notice of Nikki’s bright gold-green eyes.

“That’s gonna get old fast,” she muttered, looking to Griffin.

Boz cleared his throat. “Sorry, guess we’ll talk about that later,” he said.

“How did you find us?” Griffin asked, pressing his shoulder blades into the brick.

“You had your phone on,” Boz explained. “So I tracked your GPS.”

Griffin couldn’t remember being so thrilled with his friend doing something so illegal. “Thanks,” he said.

“No problem,” Boz said, grinning. “So now what?”

“They’re closing in,” Nikki said, feeling the sinking sensation of dread.

“And they have both our scents, which gives them an advantage,” Griffin said, grimacing as he shifted his weight off his wounded leg.

“What do you mean both?” Boz frowned. “I mean, I get how they have yours, ‘cause you’re kinda gushing the red stuff everywhere,” he said, motioning to Griffin and the subsequent blood trail he left behind him. “But how’d they get Nikki’s?”

“They took some of my clothes so they could track me,” she said.

“Great. Just when I thought Vampires couldn’t get any creepier…”

Griffin looked to Nikki. “We’ve gotta get you somewhere safe,” he said.

“How?” Boz asked. “She just said they’re closing in, which means-” He stopped, eyes shifting as if he was analyzing an equation written in the air. “Which means we can take back the upper hand.”

“Boz?” Griffin furrowed his brow, watching his friend.

“I have an idea,” Boz said. “Actually I have about a dozen, so you’re just gonna have to go with me on this.”

Griffin recognized the dancing spark in Boz’s eyes. It usually meant trouble.

“First, we have to hide you,” Boz said, jerking his chin at Nikki.

“Where?”

Pacing up the alley, Boz halted in front of a large, covered dumpster and glanced back at her.

Nikki stared disbelievingly at him. “Please tell me you just have terrible timing, and only stopped because you thought of a real place to hide me.”

“We have to mask your scent- a scent you said they know very well by now,” he said. “This will cover it up.”

Boz threw back the lid and coughed, waving away the small swarm of flies that escaped the bin.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” Nikki muttered.

“It’s our best option,” Boz said. “And only option.”

“It’ll keep you safe,” Griffin added.

Groaning, Nikki peered over the edge of the dumpster and covered her nose and mouth, already gagging from the smell. “This must be God’s way of punishing me for that time I littered in third grade.”

“It’s better than dying,” Boz told her.

“You sure about that? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure this is one of the circles of hell.”

“Alright Complaining Cathy,” Boz said, waving his hand. “Into the putrid garbage pile.”

Grimacing, Nikki gripped the metal side and hoisted herself up. Griffin helped her swing her legs over, and held her steady until she had her footing.

“Okay, now what?” She asked, staring down at the men.

“Hunker down, and wait for us to come get you,” Boz told her.

Trying not to slip in a thick puddle of brown goo, Nikki squatted amongst the plastic bags. This was definitely the most disgusting thing she’d done since high school.

Griffin paused for a beat, hand still on her arm. “Whatever you hear, whoever you think is nearby- don’t make a sound, and don’t get out until we come back for you.” His amber gaze was insistent as he searched her face. “Got it?”

She nodded. “Just be sure you come back,” she said.

His fingers unfurled from her bicep and she watched as he moved away. Boz yanked at the lid, pulling it almost shut, when she lightly gripped his arm.

“Be careful,” she said.

“We’ll be okay,” he said, and snapped the lid closed.

Jogging to catch up to Griffin, Boz made a short aggravated noise at the back of his throat. “Ah man, I just missed the perfect opportunity for an Oscar the Grouch joke.”

Griffin clapped him on the shoulder. “Next time.”

* * *

“Alright Boz, you wanna fill me in on the rest of this plan?” Griffin asked, climbing over the last rung on the ladder and planting his feet on the roof.

Boz jogged towards a stocky utility structure, circling around the left side of the edifice. “How’s your leg?”

“Seeing as I got hit by a car, just peachy,” Griffin said, watching his friend mentally calculate God-knew-what.

“So you’ll live?”

“Yeah, I’ll live,” he muttered.

“Good,” Boz turned to him and smiled. “Now give me a boost.” He jerked both his thumbs upwards enthusiastically.

Griffin’s eyebrows popped up to his hairline and he huffed out a laugh. “Excuse me? Remember the bit about me being hit by a car?”

“You said you’d live,” Boz said.

“Yeah live, not be able to do acrobatics,” he countered. “What part of this situation makes you think we should be practicing an audition for Cirque-du-Soleil?”

“Besides how awesome we’d look in sparkly leotards? If I can get up there I have a clear shot of this whole rooftop,” Boz said. “Nikki said they’re closing in. I say we let them.” He stared at Griffin intently, waiting for his message to become clear.

Boz was setting up a trap.

“Fine,” Griffin sighed.

Bending into a half squat, he laced his fingers together tightly to create a step. Grabbing his shoulders for support, Boz hopped up, stepping into his hands. With some considerable effort, Griffin hoisted him upwards. Boz might have been shorter than him, but that wasn’t saying much when Griffin stood at six foot four, and Boz was still heavily muscled. No one with eyes could call him a lightweight.

“Try not to stagger so much,” Boz muttered, working to get a firm grip on the ledge.

“Bite me,” he grumbled through clenched teeth, keeping his wounded leg as steady as he could.

“What? You cranky ‘cause you don’t get to be on top?”

“You might wanna think about cutting back on the cheeseburgers buddy,” Griffin said. “You’re heavier than last time.”

“You’re delusional,” Boz said, glancing down. “I have the body of a god.”

“Yeah… Buddha.”

Holding onto the edge as Griffin pushed, Boz was able to pull himself up and swing his legs over. He rolled over the side, securely on the roof of the small structure.

“Now what?” Griffin asked.

Boz stuck his head over the ledge, looking down at his friend. “Now go be a sitting duck.”

Griffin glared at him, offended. “I’m bait?”

“You’re the one leaking O-negative,” Boz said. “What did you think you’d be doing?”

“Not playing the part of the injured gazelle on Wild Kingdom,” Griffin snapped.

“Please, you don’t have the legs to play a gazelle.”

“Boz.”

“Dude, I’m sorry your pride is bruised, but we don’t have time for an in depth discussion about the male ego right now. So go sit over there and act mortally wounded before we both become some Vamp’s mid-morning protein boost.”

“Fine. But if this gets me killed, I’m haunting your ass.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

Griffin limped towards a section of brick wall by an air vent and crouched down. His leg throbbed and he stifled a hiss, feeling the cut in his leg tear open again.

The dogs thrashed in their cage, angry at him for taking them so far away from the energy source in Nikki’s head. He was angry at himself too. Leaving her was like tightening a screw in his chest, causing so much pressure he thought his ribs would crack. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to take in a full breath until he was back with her.

Something near the ledge of the building brought the dogs’ attention around and they gave a warning snarl. Boz’s trap was working.

Reaching into his holster he pulled out one of his handguns and quietly released the safety. The pack stalked nearer, circling the area that held the strongest scent of his blood.

The first gunshot made him flinch, and he ducked as more bullets hailed down from Boz’s perch. Enraged growls and screams accompanied the fleshy plops of bodies falling.

A solid mass collided with the back of Griffin’s head, toppling him over. Sharp pain lanced up his skull as thick wetness dripped into his eyes. He squinted through blood coated lashes, but he was temporarily blinded.

Another hit rolled him over several times before the mass was attacking him from above. The Vampire- a male, he thought- wrenched his gun away and he heard it hit skid along the pea gravel. Swinging out, Griffin’s fist made contact with the creature’s temple, stunning it. Griffin blinked, trying to clear his vision. White irises glared back at him as the male reared back and lunged for his throat.

Hands like vises clasped around Griffin’s wind pipe, squeezing off his oxygen supply. He clawed the male’s arms, trying to dislodge him. As his lungs seized, the dogs tore apart their cage, fighting their way out into the world. Ripping through every barrier he’d made to keep them inside, they rampaged straight into the Vampire’s consciousness.

Jagged, blood soaked memories overwhelmed Griffin. The screams of the male’s victims, the sensations of struggling against his mouth with their flesh caught between his teeth, their taste… It ignited a boiling rage in Griffin’s gut that burned through every muscle.

His hand shot up, gripping the male under his jaw. His nails tore at the tender skin, drawing streams of blood that flowed over his bent knuckles. Crooking his thumb, he pressed into the column of the Vampire’s throat and punched a hole straight into creature’s jugular vein. The rest of his fingers soon followed suit.

The male tried to scream, but it came up as a crimson gurgle that sprayed a fine mist into the dirty air. Griffin leveraged his weight, flipping the male onto his back. Using his mangled neck as a handle, Griffin lifted the male’s head before bringing it back down again with impossible force, cracking the back of his skull. He repeated the movement again and small chunks of tissue splattered across the gravel, mixing with dust and stone.

His second Glock found its way into his hand, and the jarring blasts of gunfire deafened him. He emptied his magazine into the male’s chest cavity, waiting until his last bullet to aim for the heart. Grayish-green ooze poured out of the widening crater in the male’s torso, and ash coated the back of his throat like sulfuric chalk.

Griffin’s fingers slid out of the Vampire’s neck, so slick with blood it nauseated him. Listing to one side, he crawled away from the disintegrating body on his hands and knees, mind still reeling. Fatigue rolled through him, and his forehead scraped the ground as he leaned on his forearms. Choking down air, he waited, hoping the dogs were sated enough to come calmly back into his head. He didn’t have the energy to yank them back.

Measured footsteps came towards him and his gaze drifted upwards, catching sight of a familiar pair of boots.

Boz stooped down, his expression a tangled mix of chilled horror and concern. He made a move as if to reach for him, but decided against it.

“C’mon buddy,” he said quietly. “Let’s get you home.”

* * *

Planting her stilettos on the concrete ledge, Serena crouched and narrowed her ice blue gaze, watching Griffin and his friend on the rooftop a couple buildings away. She had been following Griffin and the human bitch at a distance when that overgrown horde of a pack had cropped up, getting in her way. She couldn’t believe the audacity of the spectacle. That many Vampires sent after just two people? It was an arrogant power play, and she wished she had thought of it.

Because then she could take the credit for finding out about Nikki’s hidden talents.

Maybe she’d take the credit anyway.

The skin at the back of Serena’s neck crawled, and she closed her eyes, exhaling through her nose in irritation. Nicholas…

Slow, mocking applause sounded a few yards behind her as Nicholas strode leisurely towards her. “Now that was entertaining,” he called. “I was pleased by that little chase scene earlier, but that…” He gestured in the direction of Griffin and the other Hunter. “That was a prize fight indeed.”

Serena stood in one lithe movement and stepped down onto the graveled roof. “He bashed in the skull of one of your fledglings.”

“With his bare hands, yes, I saw,” Nicholas said, wonderment kissing the tips of his words. “I’ve seen many strong Hunters throughout my years, but never one quite like O’Connor. I’d heard stories, but that’s not really the same thing as witnessing, is it?”

Her jaw tensed, but she forced her fangs to stay retracted. “Is that why you’re here? To ogle the blood covered man candy?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” Nicholas lifted one brow in question, but Serena ignored the searching intensity of his stare.

“It’s called ‘reconnaissance’, Nicholas. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?”

“Ah, yes, a preliminary survey to obtain information,” Nicholas recited. “Well then dear Serena, what information did you obtain?”

“A lot more than you or Alexander bothered telling me last night,” she said, glaring at him.

“We told you she was important.”

“But not that she could move faster than a Vampire,” Serena snapped. “Or the fascinating detail of how her eyes somehow turn into glow sticks.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t aware of those facts myself until just now.” Nicholas walked to the ledge and stuck the toe of his right shoe out, wiggling it in the open air where solid ground became nothingness. “Not until the pack I sent started chasing her.”

Serena folded her arms over her chest. “Yes, let’s talk about your pack,” she said with a biting tone. “If I remember correctly, Alexander gave me the job of dealing with O’Connor and the girl.”

“Mm,” Nicholas agreed, as he stuck out his opposite hand, performing a balancing act on the very edge of the building.

“I am your Bloodletter, Nicholas,” Serena ground out.

“Yes, my pit bull in Chanel,” he mused, hoping onto his left foot and twisting so his back was towards the empty expanse. “And what has my loyal attack dog done today? Made a scary phone call?”

A feline growl rippled through Serena’s chest. She wondered if she could be fast enough to sprint over and shove him off the roof, but realized she probably couldn’t. She was in stilettos after all.

“You want praise?” Nicholas asked, shimmying the majority of his shoe off the ledge, leaving only the ball of his foot to support him. “You want me to give you a pat on the head, and tell you ‘good girl’? Then do something worth rewarding.”

“I told you I’d do this my way,” she said.

“And so far your way has been more boring than a nature documentary,” he said, flashing a snide grin.

“And you overstepped your bounds,” Serena shouted. “Really Nicholas, you sent a mob of Newborns after them? And what good did that accomplish? They were all turned to ash.”

He scoffed. “I hardly think twenty Vampires equals a mob.”

“It was twenty-five,” she corrected, and enjoyed watching him mentally recalculate the numbers.

“Oh,” he said. “Well no matter. They served their purpose.”

“I’m sure Alexander will be thrilled to hear how deeply you care for all of your aligned,” she said, sneering.

“Please, as if he’s any better.”

“I don’t recall our sire sending any of his fledglings to their deaths.”

“Not yet,” Nicholas said, growing bored with his trick and jumping back onto the solid roof. “All that talk of empires and reputations, and you don’t think he’s willing to throw a few of his own on to the sacrificial pyre?”

Creeping suspicion traveled up from the base of Serena’s spine, and she scowled.

Nicholas pointed at her, making an insightful ‘ah’ noise. “You know I’m right. As much good as Alexander has done for us, he isn’t above scrutiny.”

She narrowed her gaze as she watched him. “If you don’t trust him, then why do you listen to him?”

“I didn’t say I don’t trust him,” Nicholas said. “I’m just not under any illusions.”

“I think you’re doubting your decision to share your Alpha-hood,” Serena said. “You were happy to accept Alexander’s help when you first became Manhattan’s Alpha, but now that he’s beginning to put in the ground work of your shiny new empire, you’re getting greedy again. What’s the matter Nicholas? Don’t want to share your corner of the sandbox?”

His grin turned tight and bitter, and his stare was cold. “Pitbull is a good nickname for you,” he said. “You certainly are a bitch.”

Serena laughed at his attempt to goad her. She wore the title of ‘bitch’ with pride.

Turning her back on him, she started walking away.

“Where are you going?” He called after her.

Tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder, she called, “To do my job.”

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