#gotta love that variant energy

[zincbot]

first workout after top surgery had me flying high all day

[cloudninetonine]

Possible au idea?

Okay, so, I've been thinking about this for a little while. The idea stems from the Tethered au a little (DO NOT WORRY I AM NOT ABANDONING IT I'VE JUST HAD NO ENERGY FOR IT!!!!)

Au where different variants of Player showed up instead of the balls of light in the Links chests. They face a similar reincarnation cycle to the Triforce Trio but more on par with Impa- they play an important part in defeating Ganon but don't do it out right?

Now, before I start- some of these ideas for Players have been recycled from Tethered au because I loved them too much to just abandon them so if it feels repetitive I'm sorry but deal with it /lh (Please forgive me for reusing ideas but I loved these ideas too much)

So next to the boys I'll put the names and roles I want them to have in each timeline!

I think ima call this the Reincarnation au!

Time - Forest - (Ranger) Twilight - Scroll (Researcher/Scholar) Warriors - Tatics (Zelda's Royal Knight) Sky - Star, gotta keep up the theme! (Fellow knight-in-training!) Legend - Allegro (Travelling musician/bard) Hyrule - Moss - (Druid (Aka forest cryptid)) Wild - Arcane (Royal Sorcerer) Four - Forge (Jeweler) Wind - Current (Pirate Captain- they have a hook and eye patch because I said so) (Honourable mentions) Courage - Martial (Travelling monk) Koridai - Chambers (Zelda's personal handmaid)

Before anyone asks, yes I did use DnD classes that game is my shit

Might give more tomorrow, my head's too sore now OIUGFRF

[lunarfeat21]

To the anon that send me an ask, my dumbass deleted it by accident and I am sorry! Fortunately, I copied/pasted your ask in my notes before my mistake, so we’re saved!

---------------------

Anonymous asked:

I HAVE ARRIVED YET AGAIN >:]

So it’s time for me to ask you about your favorite characters in RiD2015 >:)

No backing off from this one, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!

*Runs away like a gremlin but trips on a rock and falls over*

---------------------

Oh poor anon, you have no idea what you unleashed upon... nah just kidding, but thank you for releasing my inner feral gushings of my favorites!

Without further ado, I RELEASE MY BELOVES!!!

----------------------------------------------------

Let's start off with my all time favorite!

Strongarm

What do I like about her? hmm... EVERYTHING!

From her strong and buff physique (it's nice to see more frame variants in femmes, WE NEED THEM HASBRO!), her boundless energy, to her impressive memorization of protocols and their numbers. A tough, but smart cookie.

 I’m not sure about you guys, but I’ll spend HOURS listening to her just rambling about regulations on a car ride while nodding like an idiot. Gosh, I’m starting to fall for her…

Fixit

Fixit, Fixit, Fixit, my sweet wholesome minicon bean!

Adorable dude, a cheery character that I adored when seeing him on screen. Had a chuckle when he glitched out when he was about to say certain words in dyes- mics- rhymes! Regardless, dude helped his team out in every way. He’s the team’s technician and repairman, basically the backbone, even pulling out profiles of the Alchemor’s escapees via ship’s computers. 

I remember one episode where my dude is brawling a shady manager of an ex-champion (while I cheered on at 3 am) or in another episode where my dude’s original programming kicked in and turned into a terminator, but a prison guard… it doesn’t really help that there's about 100+ minicons like him (tbh I don’t know the total numbers)… do what you will with this information…

Thunderhoof

The mafia boss, angry moose on the loose, boss... babe

Bastard reminded me of those stereotypical noir film mafia bosses (it doesn’t really help that there’s him eating pizza in an official art piece… help…), and I'm not wrong. Plus his appearance and voice is… enamored to say the least…

Bro sounds pissed and will be pissed if something doesn’t go in his way, or someone doing stupid shit. Come on, this huge antler jockey is a freaking crime boss, so of course why wouldn’t he be pissed? He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wants, whether going back to cybertron, leadership, or objects of interest (and shredding someone to pieces, I’m talking about you, Clampdown! You sniveling snitch!).

Jetstorm & Slipstream

My Sweet Bun 1 & Sweet Bun 2, I love you both to death!

Both him and Slipstream are freaking cute (look me straight in the eye and tell me otherwise), and both are nearly the same height as a grown man (source? A screenshot I took for references in future digital drawings).

Jetstorm is a bit more creative than Slipstream and Drift combined, but a bit as well impulsive (which can lead him to trouble with Drift). Overall, he and other Minicons are adorable and if they committed crimes, I'll excuse them.

I’m going to repeat what I said about Drift’s minicons earlier, both are freaking adorable! Unlike Jetstorm, Slipstream is more chill and prefers to follow his master’s instructions. Despite the contrasting personalities, these two are a force to be trifled with via teamwork! Mess with one, get wrecked by the other! Perish!

Wildbreak

Gotta love the dude, timid but nice. Before ever seeing on screen, I read some posts that headcanoned him as the sparkling of Knockout and Breakdown. After that, I can see why. Cute tho!

#ProtectTheChildAtAllCosts!

Steeljaw

Alright I’m not beating a bush, this mf is attractive as fock!

At any dang episode I’m watching, the scheming wolf always makes me smile as if I’m happy to see him! (well duh, I am!) 

He knows how to capture attention with that soft, yet alluring charismatic voice, offering compliments, and seems nice… except that shit he’s doing is an illusion, and will stab you in the back if there’s an opportunity! Brother nearly had me in the first half, not gonna lie. This dude knows how to wrap people in his claw, or if that fails, time to off them in the name of his future empire!

Nightra

Oh my god… Nightra is something…

How did she and Strongarm become friends? Both are competitive, yet polar opposites of each other. Don’t get me wrong, I like her as well, so playful, carefree, and mischievous (even that leads her to trouble and ultimately her going rogue).

Aside from her similar buffy appearance like Strongarm (omgistarttofallforbuffywomen), her voice is… soothing to hear, yet not AND IT MADE ME BLUSH!!! THEY PICKED A GOOD VA FOR THE JOB! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I had to go to dreamland (lalalalalalala)

Shadowraker

Another attractive mf, and bastard (derogatory)

Fucker has good aesthetics (color wise and design), if charsmatic is a aroma, it’s him with a dark aura. Twisting innocent bots into their rotten former shells, yeah this is what this dude does after his ‘shadows’ brought in the stolen goods in exchange for shelter and guidance. Mmm, moral corruption…

I like you Shadowmaru-err Shadowraker, but I don’t like you at the same time. I remember when you kidnapped my fave minicons and promised that you would punish them for betraying you! (glad you got boxed on the pede, ya jerk!) Glad karma bit you in the ass!

-----------------------------

Alright, gushing time is over! That's all folks! BYEE!

[muzzleroars]

My other option for the V2 repairs is straight up the Terminal having the V series design and development docs that it would sell to Gabe for wayyy too many points. Best not to ask where they came from.

Would the Terminals even be able to sell weapon variants to Gabe? or would they just encourage him to use the hell energy.

Gabe getting peer-pressured by a vending machine.

(reference to this!)

honestly the terminals have access to SO much info, it's definitely possible they could have design information on plenty of the machines. but now i just love the idea that both hell AND the terminals were like. we've gotta make this happen. we've gotta get this guy to make that robot again. the dramatics and the comedic potential compelling both of them into making dead sure gabriel succeeds in repairing v2 lmaoooo

but oooooo the terminals maybe expanding their shop (again, likely with hell's help), and using those offerings to encourage the use of hell energy, as harnessing that power makes gabriel a far more interesting fighter (as i imagine fallen angels are the most sophisticated users of hell energy) they are highly aware that gabriel is feeling the loss of his arsenal...but gabriel is also incredibly stubborn, and a battle of wills ensues while v1 keeps looking through the catalogue it has for him like "SICK" "SICK" "FUCKING SICK" "SICK AS HELL" it doesn't really understand resisting the terminals but gabriel finds them weird!!! suspicious!!! he refuses to perform tricks for their little treats!!!

[okami-zero]

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

Got tagged by @vasheden! Thanks, Vash! Here we go!

Last song: I Wanna Take You For a Ride (Inspired by Marvel vs Capcom 2) by the 8-Bit Big Band. Absolutely love their music - big band stuff just has so much energy, and I love that! I don't think I've heard any of their stuff that's bad, or even meh. All Really Good music! (Did you know they did a full version of Mordin's little ditty from ME2? >3 https://youtu.be/UxVekZRIWyg)

Favorite color: Okay, this one is tough. Usually Blue or Orange. Not the overly bright, pastel versions. LIghtest blue I like is sky blue, or azure. And lightest orange...well, the fruit. xD I tend to favor darker variants of the two, and which I like more depends on my mood for the day, or what the subject being discussed is (whether this influence my two favorite reptilian ninjas, or vice versa, I cannot say... xD)

Last movie/TV show: Okay, last movie, simple - The Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Aside from the original animated film, this one is my favorite. Jim's very physical acting, plus his amazing facial expressions paired with the makeup, and he does the Grinch Smile™ perfectly! For new movies? Godzilla Minus One. Go see it. Just... you gotta go see it! TV Show would be anime, and that would be Burst Angel, a show I got a preview DVD for an never was able to find again, until on a whim (and after catching sight of my wall scroll of such) I looked it up on Crunchyroll and there it was! I think the transfer from Funimation may have dinged the subtitles, but it's still pretty good.

Sweet/spicy/savory?: Yes. Very yes. BUT, if I absolutely have to choose, savory is top, especially if it's got a little kick to it. xD I cannot handle super sweet stuff, like cake frosting that isn't buttercream, and even that needs to be moderate. Spice tolerance...is alright. But there has to be flavor that I can get before the capzasin kicks in. I think some of my favorite spice comes from Indian food, cause it is spicy AND savory. x3

Relationship status: I am but a single okami. Am comfortable with it, and have been for a while, but I do miss a few things I'd like to have again. I have some things to lock down first.

Last thing I googled: The proper spelling for "Capzasin", because I keep think there's an extra c in it for some reason...

Current obsession: Um... I don't have anything demanding my time, though HALO Infinite is close. It's fun playing Firefight again, and I want the Superintendent AI companion, goddammit! (ODST my favorite game? Why would you think THAT? >3) But as games go HALO, FFXIV (I have a house that needs decorating, and maybe learning some gpose things so I can do sappy screeenshots of AKagi and his girls. x3 Or Gev being...himself. xD) and Armored Core VI, and really wanting to tweak some of my gunpla, honestly. I need to adjust my toolkit some. :P Much like Vash, I think I will thumb through the activity page and tag folks who I don't think have done this one. No pressure, of course, I just did mine because I am trying to be more active and stuff. Cheers! @elveny, @reucrion, @techietacotrain, @kunstpause, @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond, @vazaymir, @clockworkdragonffxiv, @thelorekeeper, @dragon-saint

[verdantglow]

Okay so @plumadot’s posting about her D&D Traffic AU has made me remember how much I love my Dungeons & Traffic AU & I Must Talk About It Now.

Basically all the characters are in a modern setting, playing a rotating cast D&D game DMed by The Watchers. (I never really decided how that works. Plan was for everything in out of game space be completely mundane except for the floating purple eye behind the DM screen lol.)

But yeah! So I picked classes & heritages that the characters would pick themselves based on play styles & preferences. &, uh, here they are!

Bdubs: Firbolg, Light Domain Cleric of Helios

Of course he’s a light cleric. Of course his god is literally the god of the Sun. This man does not fuck with the night & darkness At All. (Also he wanted to be tall lol.)

BigB: (???), (???)

Okay, gonna be honest, BigB is the last one I need to make decisions for ‘cause I feel I have too many knowledge gaps about him to figure this out. Was thinking Paladin maybe??? But I will totes take input, please help me here. Only restrictions: I’d prefer if he doesn’t double up on heritage or subclass with anyone.

Cleo: Reborn, Circle of Wildfire Druid

Cleo’s gotta be a zombie, so Reborn is perfect. & who can deny Cleo the opportunity to have a skill set based entirely around setting shit on fire?

Etho: Shadar-Kai, Way of the Shadow Monk

He’s a ninja lol. Also in this AU I was thinking he & Gem would be siblings, so having him play an emotionally flat dark elf played nicely with what Gem goes with. Which…

Gem: Eladrin, Eldritch Knight Fighter

Gem had to be a fighter, that girl is a fighter through & through, but she’s definitely not playing a boring character. Eldritch Knight adds some magical flavour that goes well with her being an Eladrin. & she had to be an elf of some kind; I think she’d like the versatility & expressiveness of Eladrin.

Grian: Changeling, Pact of the Tome Warlock of the Archfey

Okay, I know this is probs controversial but hear me out. 1) Grian being a Warlock I think is just very in character. 2) Pact of the Tome lets him cast catrips from other classes & you unknowingly he’d get a kick outta that mechanic. 3) His patron is a homebrewed version of The Traveler, half way between 5e canon & Critical Role canon. Trickster vibes are real. 4) This dude has had so many skins. Changeling energy. (Also I just love changelings & Grian made the most sense to me.)

Impulse: Hill Dwarf, Forge Domain Cleric of Tharmekhûl

Another controversial one, but I’m not a fan of demon/tiefling/horned Impulse. & he legit has been a dwarf before. Hill dwarf because they get a Wisdom buff & that makes sense for Impulse. Cleric of Tharmekhûl because forge/light vibes & also he’s the god of smiths & that feels… like something Impulse would choose. (Impulse’s character is also min-max’d to hell. This man is going to win at D&D.)

Jimmy: Human, Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr

Jimmy got overwhelmed by all the heritages & just went human for simplicity. He takes regular human rather than variant because he doesn’t want to learn all the feats & getting +1 to all stats is pretty good, right? Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr because he really, really plays into being Lawful Good, & being The Law of the party.

Joel: Half-orc, Path of the Berserker Barbarian

Half-orc for being the closest I could get to an ogre. Path of the Berserker because he’s all about The Rage.

Lizzie: High Elf, School of Enchantment Wizard

Idk Lizzie just has big Wizard vibes to me, but like. Not the best wizard. Like she’s powerful, but rolls shit. She couldn’t get anyone to sleep in the Secret Life campaign because her DC is kinda low & everyone kept making their saves. (Except Joel. He failed his save on purpose. <3) High Elf for Queen Lizzie.

Martyn: Tiefling, Swashbuckler Fighter

Another natural fighter choice imo, but Swashbuckler for The Performance. Tiefling because he’s a bit impish & also so he can have Thaumaturgy to constantly scare everyone with monster/mob noises.

Mumbo: Rock Gnome, School of Evocation Wizard

I need to Mumbo to be a glass canon. School of Evocation Wizard does that so well. He can blow shit up so good, but he takes one hit & he’s out. Rock gnome because he just wanted to be a little guy & so he can be a Tinker.

Pearl: Wood Elf, Beastmaster Ranger

Beastmaster Ranger so she can have Tilly as an animal companion. Also more combat than magic focused, ‘cause that feels right? Elf because that’s her vibe, wood elf because it made sense for her build.

Ren: Werewolf Shifter (Doglike), Bannerette Fighter

Ren really wanted to be a fighter, but he put all his points in charisma RIP. So yeah, he’s the fighter class that does the least actual fighting lol. Doglike werewolf because of course.

Scar: Half-elf, Wild Magic Sorcerer/School of Eloquence Bard multiclass

His first few levels were in sorcerer, to reflect his absolutely bonkers all or nothing luck. School of Eloquence because he’s the type to talk his way out of most any situation he can. Also: Scar is 100% a charisma caster. (He still uses a longbow, don’t worry; he gets proficiency with it from being a half-elf.)

Scott: Fairy, Lunar Sorceror

I have changed my mind the most about Scott. Landed on Fairy, because the Vibes. Sorcerer because I felt he’d have innate magic, Lunar because it gives him access to a wide variety of spells that make sense for him. (Like Shield. He uses Shield all the time. Can’t hit this man, no sir.)

Skizz: Protector Aassimar, Path of the Ancestral Guardians Barbarian

He attac, he protec. & most importantly, he place high value on bonds between folks. So giving him Ancestral Guardians just… yeah.

Tango: Fire Genasi, Battlesmith Artificer

I don’t think I need to explain this much. His Steel Defender is an Iron Golem.

[nyaagolor]

Your Pokemon headcanons are always SO great to read through! Could I share more of my own, although these ones might be too much. My brain has been floating around these HCs in my head for a while now.

Tulip owns around 3 or 4 Galarian Rapidash. Despite this, I actually do not think Tulip is a horse girl or any type/variant of a horse girl. She does ride them, but not often or consistently thanks to her jobs. Those Galarian Rapidash were actually gifts from when she travels to Galar for either a business trip, vacation, or something else. They are extremely well taken care of and maintained (by whoever Tulip hires, I can't see her doing it by herself alone sadly; especially because of her status and jobs.), but they are not a primary priority. Tulip still stops by the stables to give her Rapidash apples and pats whenever she could though.

Tulip is still intent on keeping them and in good shape, because she wants to have Galarian Rapidash riding dates with Dendra. Dendra has ridden one of Tulip's Galarian Rapidash and both of them ridden together (same steed or separate steeds) already, but Tulip doesn't think those count because they were not officially on a date during them as they were 'hanging out like old friends' like Dendra puts it (Dendra is too oblivious and Tulip has high standards for what counts as a date).

Dendra, although not a horse girl, still has horse girl energy to her. She definitely rode her Paldean Tauros before, similar to bucking bull rodeo, and had more injuries and trips to Miriam than she could count. Dendra thinks Tulip's Galarian Rapidash are badass sword horses (& has called them that) and attempted to play-fight with them. Tulip, not wanting Dendra to get stabbed by Galarian Rapidash's horn, put a stop to it. Dendra has carried a G-Rapidash bridal style at least twice. Neither of them is particularity good at horseback riding (both are decent or OK at best).

After a while Dendra starts to bring Miriam with her when she goes over to Tulip's stables. Miriam, I personally think, is a horse girl and she dotes on the Galarian Rapidash and they adore her back. Miriam always gives them healthy treats, quick checkups to see to make sure they're healthy (G-Rapidash pass with flying colors everytime) and brushes their manes. Galarian Rapidash love to give her nuzzles and return 'hugs' from her. I feel that Miriam would be a generally great rider or at least far better than either Dendra or Tulip. Tulip is thinking of giving Miriam one or two of her Galarian Rapidash, but worries that the unicorn(s) would get in the way of Miriam's nursing job. Ironically, Galarian Rapidash would actually be beneficial to Nurse Miriam's duties.

My apologies for the extremely long 'ask'; I really wanted to share this. Hope you have a well-rested week!

imma go out on a limb here and assume you’re the same anon who sent the ask about Rika and Mudsdale and the original horse girl ask and I gotta say: (gets down on one knee) anon pls never apologize for sharing ur hcs and ideas. I am very genuine when I say like I enjoy hearing what you have to say and would not be responding as frequently and enthusiastically as I do if I didn’t like it. Ur hcs are fire, never apologize for the length or the frequency or being “too much” bc I adore it, really and truly. Anyway

THIS RULES. Lesbians riding around unicorns is top tier. I am so glad Tulip has a near armada of sword horses for whatever her gay heart desires

[pitagain]

#365DaysOfVGM Day 169:

Tumult ~ Crest of a Violent Wave (Sekaiju no Meikyū III: Seikai no Raihōsha/Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City & Sekaiju no Meikyuu V: Nagaki Shinwa no Hate/Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth, including the FM Synth version [2010/2016])

This is a level of FM synth so good, that it keeps getting remixed! This time around, it’s a lot easier to distinguish the DS & FM versions, with the FM version having a Tubular Bell that’s borderline absent from the in-game DS variant, so with that in mind, more on the wonderful track itself!

How do you make a fast-paced battle track over 3 minutes long? This track has some satisfying answers to that! 1st thing to come to mind is that Elec Bass, you might already know how much I praised it in the Skeleton Boomerang entry from almost 2 months earlier, it’s a similar deal here!

The other Strings manage to be just as action-packed, helped by the perfectly-paced Drums and other generally uplifting FM staples; uplifting is what I can describe this track as, while not going too far in that direction, since most battle themes need to imply at least some form of challenge to overcome. Those wanting a more “serious/grounded” variant will probably prefer the DS version, because the aforementioned Tubular Bells of the FM version only contribute to the track’s uplifting energy. Yet again, I love both versions well enough to consider both favorites!

Gotta thank TheLinkToThePast (Discord) again for informing me of not just the soundtrack of the Etrian Odyssey DS trilogy, but also this day’s featured Etrian Odyssey V FM track, because while it's different enough to be its own entry, it’s worth mentioning here for all fans of the original track, including me!

Based on Etrian Odyssey IV’s “Raging Winds” take on the Etrian Odyssey III classic, V’s own “Raging Waves” leans further on the dramatic side, with a more concise loop too, given how there wasn’t much space left to expand on the original’s uplifting mood. The Bass is also more traditional, with a heavier set of Drum beats and Drum rolls for some much-needed intensity. Some melodies are altered to work more closely with the higher pitch this track uses in comparison to III, while the non-loop beginning and end parts leading up to the loop are completely new, both setting the tone for a familiar composition that’s not as upbeat. It’s almost like the RPG music styles of old have grown up, ready to take on the challenges of the future together with us!

(Length before loop [DS & FM]: 3.5+ minutes, [V FM]: Nearly 4 minutes)

[gallus-rising]

here we go. i’m doing it and no one can stop me

i am (going to attempt) to rank all stands by sexiness starting with the JoJo’s themselves. by the end of this “project” all of the winners will be pitted against each other in a final showdown, as judged by me, Standfucker Extraordinaire. unfortunately no TJL stands will be included as we’ve not seen enough of them in action. sorry Jodio 😔

plz keep in mind that these are only my objectively correct opinions u-u

11: Tusk Act 1

marketable plushie lookin ass

10: Tusk Act 3

change up the colors and this thing the world’s ugliest sleep paralysis demon

9: Hermit Purple

its just vines. idk what i’m supposed to say. comes w Joseph’s slut energy built in. it’s cool that its purple i guess?

8: Tusk Act 2

Johnny you have 4 stands and almost all of them are ugly as sin wtf man. the design is finally fun so points for that at least

7: Crazy Diamond

now we’re getting onto the fuckable stands babyyyy

Crazy Diamond is just a tad much. his colors are ok, the hearts coordinating w Josuke’s design are cute. but then there’s the plating, the helmet, the tubes(??), and he even suffers from jjba Codpiece Syndrome. it’s all a bit much and doesn’t quite fit. in some of the anime promo art they gave him a sparkly diamond texture, but besides that i don’t care for him all that much.

6: Star Platinum

using the DiU palette bc of all the Star Platinum colors it’s the best. the pastels are cute and make for a fun contrast w the big muscles

an oldie but a goldie. bc Araki hadn’t gotten his footing w stand designs yet Splat looks more unique in retrospect. hair and clothing, capable of facial expressions, a tasteful loincloth as opposed to Another Fucking Codpiece.

i also think it’s cute how artists like to draw him w starry hair :>

5: Gold Experience Requiem

GER? this guy fucks. there’s simply no other way to put it. he fucks so hard. unfortunately points have to be redacted for that dead eyed stare and unmoving grimace. GER could be so much higher if he didn’t have such an awful baked in expression and this will become an unfortunate running theme. maybe if GER had more screen time that could be mitigated, but alas...

4: Stone Free

one of the few female stands, which sucks bc Araki goes off w girl stands. just look at her. the blue accented by gray, the radical bright green sunglasses, the sexy hints at her string powers, she even complements Jolyne nicely if stand/user synergy is needed. she’d probably be higher up if we saw more of her bc Araki prefers to show off her powers via having Jolyne psychically unravel which is fun! but does mean this beauty didn’t get enough time to shine 😔 not sure how i feel abt the bumpy texture as well. makes things a bit busy

3: Tusk Act 4

finally!! after 3 shit stands Tusk strikes gold in the final hour. its weird, its pink, its got (jo)stars its a cowboy, what more could you want??

more screen time goddamn it!! Tusk Act 4 gets like 2 and a half physical appearances across 2 parts. Araki wtf man. Tusk Act 4 just fucks so hard tho so it’s gotta be top 3

2: Soft & Wet

YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEA!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FUCKABLE STAND! Soft & Wet is the platonic ideal of a MC stand. fun mechanical parts, cute little face, the Stand Tubes finally serve an aesthetic purpose and aren’t just awkwardly tacked on. he also has such pleasing colors and silhouette. i love him so much and he’s easily one of the best, cutest, most sexy stands in all of jjba

However

Soft & Wet has 3 variants and they all look the same. base Soft & Wet, Josefumi’s Soft & Wet, and GO ⭐ BEYOND are identical. so many good multi-stage stands and Soft & Wet drops the ball on every level 😔

1: Gold Experience

Gold Experience is not just fuckable, he’s h*rny. nonstop GE everyday all the time GE is just Like That and the sheer confidence of it all overpowers the few negative aspects of his design. even the Fucking Codpiece

GE has more than 1 facial expression and a sexy alt form to mix things up. he pairs w Giorno perfectly. he’s got a Lot going on w the loud colors, ladybugs, wings, helmet, teardrop markings, vague insect texturing, and hints of The World. but unlike Crazy D it all ties together. amazing. flawless. unbelievable.

and if you don’t know what i mean when i say GE is h*rny. BEHOLD:

in every one of his Iconic poses he is dtf. the h*rniest stand for the h*rniest part. this is how it was meant to be godbless godbless and goodnight.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

What if Arthur was fixing something on the train and the depot agent who was supposed to be in the car with him stepped out real quick right before Vivi came in, so she thought *he* was her opponent and tried to battle him? She was really, really sorry afterward, because he had gotten really freaked out when she tossed out a pokemon to try and battle poor little Galahad. They became friends after she insisted on making it up to him, maybe by taking him to Lewis's restaurant? Yes, let him feed the zoruas!! That's so cute, him being like well now I gotta feed them, they're family. I don't think Ingo has like a full kitchen or anything, though I could see there maybe being a communal one in each of the clans and Beni has one in Jubilife, but he's still gotta make food. He probably has like pots and utensils and a way to make the snacks wardens apparently make for their nobles, at the very least, so I'm sure Lewis could figure out how to do something with that.

Oooh, I love the idea of Mystery getting frenzied and changing type because of it! They probably didn't do anything like that in the games because they thought it'd be too much to have bosses that are both new variants and gain a frenzy form the player can't get. But for Mystery, we could say that the reason he does but they don't is because he's an ultra beast, so power that strong didn't mesh well with him, as he's not native to this universe. Or maybe he's just a regular legendary not an ultra beast, but the original nobles were given a sort of divine tolerance to it that was passed down to subsequent generations.

Okay, so, if we go with Ingo disappearing in the middle of a work day, what could also have happened was that something broke and Ingo called Arthur to ask about it, but Arthur was being possessed by Giratina at the time and was kinda fading in and out, not really sure what was happening. Giratina/Volo was like this is great timing and used Arthur to tell Ingo to come see him in his office or wherever. Ingo goes and doesn't tell anyone where he's going or bring his pokemon, because why would he he's not leaving the station or doing anything potentially dangerous, and when he gets there Arthur is nearly unconscious, just barely aware enough for Giratina to tell when Ingo approaches him to check if he's okay, and completely passes out when giratina pulls more energy from him to open the rift under Ingo. When Arthur wakes up, he doesn't remember telling Ingo to come see him or Ingo arriving, but he does think he vaguely recalls Ingo calling him for some reason. Maybe he goes to call him back, but Ingo never picks up so he's like, okay guess he didn't after all and it was Arthur's imagination, until it turns out a little later that no one knows where Ingo is at all. I don't think Arthur is like, a suspect or anything, but chandelure can probably get a sense of giratina's ghost residue on Arthur and in his office, and so is weird about him for a while, which makes him nervous for a number of reasons.

My guess for what keeps giving him away, given what he looks like and does in the videos vs what zoroarks look like and can do, is that he tends to get wispy around the edges, especially his hair, like how the zoroarks have wisps coming off of their bodies and wispy manes. That and he's pretty open about using like, shadow ball and, when taking about Arthur, bitter malice. I thought I remembered reading on bulbapedia that the zoruas can make illusions of a person's worst fears and make them so scared it drives them insane or something, which I think is where that fanon that they can read minds comes from, because otherwise how would they know what shape to take. It's not there anymore though, so I could be wrong or misremembering things. But if he could, yes I think he would try to see if he could do something to help. Although I'm willing to bet Ingo's Alakazam has already tried that and failed.

Lmao Emmet would be so offended. They seriously think that he couldn't take *Arthur*, who is so visibly exhausted he looks ready to fall over or nod off at any given moment and only has a single, level 4 pokemon. Not to say that Arthur doesn't have some strength to him, he's a mechanic he kinda has to, but this is definitely not Arthur at his best and in any case no matter how strong he is he's no match for any of Emmet's pokemon, let alone all of them. If he did somehow manage to kill Emmet I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even get two steps before chandelure flash fried him with a full strength overheat, to say nothing of what the others might do.

I bet Emmet has to spend like half their trip just taking breaks to make sure Arthur eats the snacks he packed and drinks plenty of water, so he doesn't pass out. Arthur wants to go go go, and so does Emmet! But Emmet also wants his employee to not die, so he has to be a responsible adult and rein Arthur in. Both are chafing at the idea that this is wasting their time, but unfortunately Arthur can't be trusted not to work past him limits, which is dangerous! The upside is that all the extremely hostile pokemon around make Arthur very disinclined to wander off without him, so Emmet doesn't have to worry about him doing something stupid like sneaking off in the middle of the night. Arthur's insomnia is so bad though that Emmet is probably tempted to catch something that can learn hypnosis, just so Arthur can get some *sleep*.

Oh man, the distortion bubbles must freak Arthur the fuck out then, even just seeing them from the distance. But yeah, I can definitely see Arthur's trauma getting swapped to both distortions and giratina. Even if he doesn't quite know what giratina was doing or that it was giratina doing it, he was possessed by it long enough the first time that his body probably still remembers what the thing draining him felt like, even if his mind doesn't. If he ever got close to giratina again he might be able to tell that this is something that hurt him before, and even possibly that it's linked to the distortion world, if his connection to ghost vibes is strong enough to sense it.

arthur panics and gets his wires VERY crossed and just full force throws what he's holding at her which happens to be a whole ass wrench. it's fine tho bc she parries it flawlessly. and it DOES make for a great conversation starter. and yess!! ooh that's true about the wardens making offerings for their nobles, i forgot about that. if we've all agreed to collectively pretend that the ride pokemon are nobles then it would stand to reason that they also have somewhere to prepare offerings. (although... iirc iscan does have you make food for basculegion and he just does it like, outside his house. but still)

YESS!! idk how i feel about him being an ultra beast, bc those are like... beings from outside reality and idk if that matches him very well? i feel like a normal legendary/mythical makes more sense with the fact that he is a mythical being in canon. anyway though. yeah i get why it didn't work in canon but augh it would be so cool... maybe there would be some kind of mechanism where like, if you go into a space-time distortion you can forme change them? or there's an item you can collect from the distortions that works like the other forme change items do? OR you literally just use the griseous core on them.

ok yeah "arthur, while possessed, called ingo over to look at/deal with something, ingo didn't bother bringing his pokemon or anything bc it didn't ping as unusual at all, then he got rift-grabbed but since nobody really noted his going at the time and arthur has no memory of it happening, nobody really connects arthur with him disappearing at all" that's a good explanation i think. and re: chandelure hmmm what i was more thinking is if chandelure knows what happened it would probably be trying to just tell anyone about it, and if arthur's spirit sensitive then he'd probably be a primary target for the HEY HEY LISTEN, but chandelure actually sensing that he's been possessed and being unable to tell anyone that is also very fun.

ooh yeah, him sort of becoming wispy/looking like spirit flame around the edges would be a very fitting tell. that and the moves yeah lol his shadow does some Funny Stuff when he talks about arthur. and. man, yeah, now that i'm thinking about it i have no idea where the idea that zoroark can read memories comes from. why did we all just absorb and accept that as fanon?? is it an anime thing that unovan zoroark can also do?? did one person just make it up for the angst and then it got perpetuated throughout fanspace? is there some throwaway trivia line that i'm forgetting?? i feel like it predates daybreak which is the only time they're mentioned in the game to my knowledge, so what gives?

anyway. yeah lol. not that lewis wouldn't just hear that and go "NO, that's what he WANTS you to think, he's using deception and getting you to let your guard down-" but emmet's like. that requires a level of brain function that i don't think he currently has. and yeah if he was actually going around murdering people chandelure would have IMMOLATED him by now, i think it can probably tell if a person's done a murder

qhqkjhqjk yeah. i feel like they're sort of on opposite ends of the spectrum here where arthur's on a 24/7 rollercoaster and emmet's just like. temporarily suspended emotions.exe so he can be a Functional Adult and find ingo and not get killed by a stray garchomp. so he is very much the one herding arthur at this point lol. bad news if the universe does manage to separate them, though

yeah i mean. i feel like... if arthur punched a hole in spacetime to get to the past, he probably already knows about giratina and the distortions to some extent? bc otherwise how would he know to like. do that. he might not have figured it out until the second possession, but he must have some idea what he's doing at this point, right. BUT. yeah. that's not gonna be a fun time

[kettouryuujin]

Psychic of the Icelands - Sabi

[Inspired by @monsoon-of-art's Pokerus AU]

Akari grunted, heaving herself up the latest set of steps (And a bit away from them) before collapsing on the ground in a heap, groaning. “‘Nybody got any Ethers?”

Rei followed her not long after, while the Professor brought up the rear - both of them in slightly better shape than the rookie Explorer. At least enough that they hadn't dropped dead. “I…I think I’ve got the stuff for one, hang on…” The Dewott looked over, confused as her companion pulled out a berry, some grass, and a mortar and pestle.

Confused, Akari looked on as the younger native crushed and combined the “ingredients” together before dumping them onto a sheet of paper and passing it to her. “Here, eat this and you should feel more energized.”

…nothing ventured, nothing gained. She picked up the paper and opened her mouth, tilting the sheet upwards to let the stuff just pour in.

Ok, that tasted…meh, but not baWOW! The Dewott jumped up, almost beaning Prof. Laventon in the head with how high she went. “HOLY CRAP! That stuff WORKS! Th-that’s gotta be like a Max Ether or something!” She couldn’t help but twitch and fidget, the energy just rushing through her as professor and aide shared a glance.

“...maybe we’ll split a portion…”

“Good idea, Professor.”

—---

All Ethered up and ready to go, the group advanced through the winding hall, the slight chill the Icelands had left with them slowly fading. “...Sabi…is a Magby, right?” Best to confirm, given what happened last time she met a Warden.

“Yes, she is.” A nod from Rei. “It’s somewhat surprising, given her powers, but I suppose her Magmortar was the closest to her.” 

Stop and look behind her, eyes locked with the other mammal. “Wait. Powers?”

The Dartrix flapped over, smiling a bit - something other than combat made him happier, she supposed. “Ah, yes! Miss Sabi is quite the clairvoyant. She predicted my arrival in Hisui down to the second and has managed to save several people with her predictions! It's honestly quite amazing, and if I could I'd love to investigate her abilities. Why, I had no idea a human could-”

A loud screech cut off the discussion, Akari taking this as a sign that Sabi - or at least a Boss - was ahead. So she rushed forwards, her companions catching up with her relatively fast.

Soon, they came to a round snow pit, much like Lian’s “arena”, with what seemed to be a Magby in the middle. However, something seemed…off. The colors were funny, and there was this flickering flame in the middle of its forehead that resembled an eye. What the heck was th-

ACH SHE WAS AIRBORNE AGAIN! Akari tried her best to swim through the air, getting closer to the odd Magby she assumed was Warden Sabi. Seeing as said sorta-bird’s loud cry was apparently lifting everyone up in the air, it was a bit tricky to do so…

*THUD!!* Aaand now she’d fallen. Great. Well, given the Sneasals earlier (not to mention Lian), it would be a good idea to ask: “So are all Magby like this around here, or?”

“Goodness no!” The Professor gave a surprising reply. “This the first time I’ve seen any Magby like this, let alone Warden Sabi!”

“...so it’s not just a weird variant?!” The professor scoffed at the mention of the local versions of some ‘mon being “weird”, but Akari brushed it off. What was important was that this Magby was apparently Psychic, and a rather strong one too. This wasn’t going to be an easy fight-

Especially if she got picked up every darn time she got close! The Fire-(and probably Psychic-)Type whipped her head, sending the other female into the wall with a meaty *thunf*. “...I’m ok!” And she was - not only was she in better shape before the fight than with Lian, but the walls here were a good bit softer being packed snow.

Still hurt though.

As she tried to get her bearings straight, a silvery slash dashed through the air, striking the Magby dead on. Looks like the Professor could get some hits in…that’s a relief. And that Thunderbolt showed that Rei was pitching in as well. Not as well as she’d like, given that you had to let the enemy touch you to use Static, but given that Sabi was prone to lifting anyone within a certain distance of her and lobbing them into the wall? Probably a good tactic. Also, OW.

So change of plans. Akari knew she couldn’t keep charging in long enough the frenzied Warden occupied and let the others finish the job since those slams would add up. It might have been possible if the Warden had a small HP pool, but she wasn't in the mood to find out. So time for a different tactic… Like Ingo would say, “If you find yourself on a train that’s going the wrong way, disembark and find one that leads to your destination.”

—-

PAIN.

SO MUCH PAIN

SO MUCH ANGER

WHY DOES IT HURT

WHY WHY WHY

AAAH MAGBY HEAD HURT SO MUCH

WHY THEY NO LET HER THROW? THROW MAKE HEAD BETTER

 BUT THEY JUST TRY AND HIT HER FROM AFAR

MOVE CLOSE

 THEN CAN THROW THE BIRD AND RA-

*splllllllllllsh*

ARGH COLD WET STOP STOP STOP STOP

BLUE FURRY THING SPRAYING WATER AT HER 

MUST STOP WATER SPRAY

WATER SPRAY HURT SO MUCH MORE

SO MUCH MORE THAN SILVER LINE OR YELLOW THING

NO COME BACK

MAGBY WANT THROW YOU BLUE THING

—-

Welp. That worked like a treat… Akari had Sabi’s attention on her, away from the other fighters (Especially the weak-to-Fire Laventon). The Dewott simply darted in-and-out of the bird-lizard’s range, sending a Water Pulse when seemed like the Warden was getting too close to Laventon and Rei

In and out, back and forth. Spritz the bad bird when it’s bad. Nice tactic is nic-

OW. OK, apparently Sabi was starting to get tired of her little dodging game and had… collapsed part of the wall on top of Akari. Wasn’t the Magby supposed to be too mad to try tactics like this? Or maybe it was all the fire attacks that’d come this way loosened it enough that it gave on its own.

Either way, she was stuck - and getting more stuck as the reddish-pink aura surrounding her pushed down, burying her deeper in the snow. A lot deeper, it was actually coming up to her mouth! An attempt to Water Pulse her way out was met with snow in the mouth, turning her attack into a Snow Pulse!

…which was really just a decent-sized puff of snow in front of her. Oh great.

There was one last mental shove before Akari felt her nose get buried in the snow, making it hard to breathe. Sabi moved toward her two teammates as the Dewott tried to think her way out of this. Alright…come on, come on, come o-

*BZZZAP*

“MAG!” *Thunk*

Wait, did Rei just Thunder that Warden so hard it knocked her out? Because it sure looks like it. Once her friends had freed her, Akari slowly approached the prone Magby, gently poking it. “...yep, she’s out. Nice job Rei!”

“Eheh, well, that last jolt was kinda me panicking…”

“Panic or not, that was a surprising amount of electricity you used, Rei. I dare say it’s the strongest you’ve used so far!” 

The ‘chu’s eyes lit up at the Professor’s words.“Really?”

“Yes, really.” The avian smiled, Akari watching fondly as she tapped the Fire-type with her badge, sending Sabi outside in a pulse of light. “Alright… let’s get out of here. Grab on you two!” The Dartrix readily grabbed onto the Dewott, already ready to leave, while Rei took a bit longer. A good-natured chuckle escaped the Water-type before she tapped her badge twice, emptying the room in a column of light.

[vampiromano]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity!

omg hii. sorry this took me like. months

1. live music. any live music. I'd die for live music. I went to my first concert at like…15? 16? and haven't stopped since. gotta love live music.

2. drawing. this one's fairly simple but I just really like drawing

3. clubbing, partying and any variant of those. especially if I drink but it's ok if I don't too. I like the vibe of it all. the energy. the people. it's all very fun

4. cooking is pretty fun if I'm on my own. and baking. they're great.

5. travelling I think. I haven't travelled that much but the times I have have been amazing. I like being in new places.

[enigmatic-lizard]

Loki actually confirming he's queer, which can be interpreted as either bi or pan, is really amazing. It's almost sad how used to being starved of representation the LGBTQIAP+ community is.

This show means so much because they are blatantly and gloriously and shamelessly confirming one after another that this is Loki.

He plays on any team he likes. Be it a prince, or a princess, or, I infer, any of the in between.

He's not phased in the least by his Variant counterpart (Sylvie) being a woman.

He's gender and sex fluid.

Thank you. Really and truely. It's so hard to find this kind of genuine rep with no baiting or dancing around the edges. This is my favorite fictional character and I can see myself in him.

These writers know what they're doing, and even if they didn't know the effects, one look at us should tell them all the work they put into this was stunning and glorious and purposeful.

Love is a beautiful dagger indeed, and I am beyond happy that this one turned out to be real and didn't make us bleed.

[whirlybirbs]

DOC FALLING ASLEEP ?? NAPPING?? LOKI JACKET?? pls miss birbs make it happen please

FROM THE VOID, WITH LOVE  |  beauty sleep

summary: a kind gesture for the weary.

pairing: loki / f!reader

a/n: oh baby it's time for roxxcart, roxxmart? whatever Future Amazon is called in this show. c'mon, disney, critique the bezos. this gif is by @vought from this set here!

[   MASTERPOST   ]

"Nothing has any consequence!"

Pompeii goes to plan.

Ignoring the ridiculous Latin monologue was a little hard and maybe did discredit the overall approach, but Loki was right. His Variant could very well be hiding in the zero kick back. His theory, just like yours, held up.

Now, as Vesuvius' hellfire begins to rains down, Loki huffs to catch his breath and throws a smile as bright as the sun your way. It stops you, for a second, and you just can hardly believe him. He's proud of himself.

Frankly, you're a little proud, too.

Then, you let out a laugh, shake your head and turn to Mobius for approval.

"How'd we do?" you both ask at once.

Loki throws his arms out, a stray curl hanging in his face.

"I can't believe it."

The pride of being right transfers over back to the TVA when the three of you step back through the warbling, shimmering portal and rush to gather up a stack of files from Mobius' desk.

"Doomsdays!"

You rush to match Mobius and Loki's strides.

"He's been ambushing our soldiers and hiding out in doomsdays to cover his tracks," the Agent says, rounding the desk.

Loki grins. "You're welcome."

"Yeah, but in order for this theory to hold—"

You chime in, gesturing to yourself as you speak. "They've gotta be sudden, no warning—"

"Naturally-occurring, no survivors," Mobius finishes with a nod, "Exactly."

"Well how many of those could their be?" Loki asks as he follows you both.

"We're about to find out."

...Turns out there's a lot.

Like piles and piles of debriefs on disaster after disaster and not even just Earth. There's a million and one files sprawled out on the long table that the three of you call home for the next hour? Two hours? Three? Four?

Time passes differently in the TVA.

It's even harder when you aren't really sure what you're looking for — so you pour over all you can with any hope that something will stick out.

Loki and Mobius seem just as disheartened as you.

Your slow crawl into a little bit of shut eye starts as you slump in your chair, lean over the table, and squint at a dossier on a Level Three Apocalypse flash-flood in 2098 on some planet called Sakaar. You feel like you're back in high-school — like it's fifth period, right after lunch, and you're trying to push through an AP Calc worksheet. But, you can hardly keep your eyes open.

Beside you, Loki is engrossed in his own reading.

When he finally looks up, he notices that you're beginning to melt into the table.

You rest your chin on your wrist and dig lazily for your next file.

The God watches with a barely-there smirk. The sight tugs at his heart — especially as you drag a yawn from your lungs and exhale slowly. He can see that you're exhausted. The little jaunt through time seemed to have pulled the last bit of your energy out, however.

He doesn't blame you.

He's starting to feel it as well.

Time ticks by, and the three of you continue in silence.

Then, Mobius looks up at the sound of shuffling.

Loki freezes when the Agent looks up with one arm out of his jacket — and the expression on the God's face is sheepish if anything.

Loki presses his finger to his lips, then continues peeling the windbreaker off.

Mobius then watches as he gently places it over your shoulders.

You're now fast asleep atop a pile of manilla folders — lips parted and eyes moving behind your lids as you dream. Your snores are quiet; had Mobius not noticed the God's attempt to keep you comfortable, he wouldn't have even caught you sleeping.

The gesture is kind.

Out of character for Loki.

But, Mobius has to wonder if that little talk you and him had in the cafeteria went better than expected.

Mobius whispers. "Let's take a walk."

Loki spares one look at you, then quietly pushes himself up from his seat.

He'll let you sleep for now.

You hardly stir when the two men disappear for coffee and tea respectively.

You're not sure how long you're asleep or, frankly, when the hell you even fell asleep, but you stir to the sudden jolt of footsteps approaching your table. When you raise your head and pry your eyes open, you come face to face with Mobius and Loki returning with more files.

You rubs your palm to your eye and scratch your face.

Your cheek is hot.

As you sit up, you feel something shit along your shoulders — you reach, fingers dashing along the hem of the material. You realize, suddenly, that it's a certain God's jacket.

His voice startles your soft expression at the gesture.

"Ah, hello sleeping beauty," comes Loki's soft jest as he rounds the table, "Care to help us?"

The two of them are sudden invigorated with purpose, and you nod tiredly as you take a portion of Loki's stack.

"Gentlemen's bet? Yeah?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay, yeah, let's play for pride."

You swallow. You voice is rough with sleep. "What am I looking for?"

"Kablooie," Loki says with a wild shrug as he leans close, "No idea."

"Candy, doc," Mobius says as he begins flipping through the files, "Sold regionally on Earth from 2047 to 2051."

"You're cross referencing," you say to no one in particular as you begin your own search, "Two variables."

"Extinction of a swallow...? Is that a thing?"

Mobius waves him on. "Completely destroyed the ecosystem."

You flip past an eruption at Yosemite and eye a Class Ten file — the State of California peeling away from the major fault line. You mutter an astounded curse. But, still, no real evidence of kablooie.

"It's just one thing after another..."

"This is terrifying," you mutter as you flip to another ecosystem collapse, "Absolutely nightmarish."

"Yeah, well, the world is scary, Doc—"

"Got him."

You both look at Loki.

Alabama.

"That's where he is."

"Alabama, 2050," Mobius says as he reads the dossier, leaning forward; then, a look of pride slips across the TVA agent's face, "You're gonna take my job if you're not careful."

Loki's smile is tight-lipped. He looks at you, and you smile.

"Onto Haven Hills, then."

[dasaene-archive]

So... I will dare (if nobody already did >>): Do instinctual variants have anything to do with fashion style? x) I am genuinely curious to know though xD

Thank you for humoring me bc…I had to show this picture

Ignoring the very sx-blind emoji and pose, when you typically think of the fashion choices of an sp/so, is this picture of myself from three years ago what you think of? Probably not. Even though in the last couple years I’ve decided to tone it down a couple notches, my friends still tell me I look like I got dressed in the dark.

When I dyed my hair blue and the hairdresser cut it weirdly, it made every outfit somehow 372% worse

Now compared to the most recent decent picture of myself that I have, taken around Thanksgiving (US) of this year:

I’m actually kind of amazed since in this comparison between the oldest and newest pictures of myself that I have in my phone, I’m wearing similar colors. To me this looks like I get more ‘sx-blind’ as I mature. It’s…a concerning thought

Basically the point of this post was that I wanted to show how I dress like the stereotypical image of an sp-blind Ne-user (although I would argue that aggressive colorblocking is a low Se thing). Every variant has a ‘style’ that can be associated with them bc there are some small patterns that I’ve noticed but there are also far too many deviations from each pattern and cultural influences for me to say that instinctual variants really do anything related to style

Interior design seems to be a different thing entirely when it comes to variants tho, with most people if you walk into their house you can tell what the dominant variant influence is

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Ukiki

Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

It is time for monkey business! Have you had your state-recommended dose of monkey business for the day? If you haven’t, don’t fret, because today’s post is about Ukiki!

We’re doing another anonymous request today, and I’d like to thank you all again for sending them, because they really have gotten me motivated to write about things I otherwise wouldn’t! There are still some requests I’ve yet to get to, but sit tight cause I promise I’ll deliver someday! I just gotta be in the right headspace!

Anyway, Ukiki! I don’t need to tell you this is a monkey, because oh, it is such a monkey! It’s a very particular kind of Generic Cartoon Monkey, a little brown creature with big ears and a long curly tail, like you see pop up here and there. Whether they’re rolling in balls or hanging out in a clock, this is the world’s most  beloved image of a little primate! They don’t seem to be any particular kind of monkey, rather taking common monkey traits from all sorts of species, I guess!

We first meet these little scamps in Yoshi’s Island, and true to the Cheek of a Monkey, they are some of the trickier enemies in the game, as in they have a lot of tricks up their sleeves! Some of them will just run and jump around, others will climb vines, some will even drop bombs and Needlenoses, as you can see in the art at the top! The Player’s Guide named these variants Short Fuses and Seedy Sallies respectively, and I don’t think they really needed unique names but I respect it! Quite a few of them are totally harmless, so they might not even be enemies: just rascals! Weird Mario rascals!

Oh, and they’re called Grinders in this game. Why? I have no idea! What do monkeys have to do with grinding? Do they grind their teeth? Do they love to frequent gay dating apps? What does it mean! 

In Tetris Attack, they are a team with Poochy, and wow, what a wonderful team this is! Unfortunately they have been brainwashed by Kamek and Bowser, which is just kind of funny to me! Bowser sure has his priorities straight by choosing to brainwash an immortal dog and also a random monkey who happened to be alongside it. Ukikis aren’t even normally allied to Yoshi! Is this one Yoshi’s friend, or is it just a neutral entity, as most monkeys are? 

And then, bizarrely, they next appeared in... Super Mario 64! How funny is that? A Yoshi series original enemy, making its way to the big M (Mario series)! Although they look a little bit different here, with a smaller mouth and a rounder head... since this is such a generic monkey design, one has to wonder if they were even meant to be the same enemy... But hey, why not right? It’s more fun this way!

This is the first time they’re called Ukikis... or Ukkikis, as I guess they spell it in this game! And yeah, I prefer this name: “uki”, “ki ki”, or even “uki ki” are the Japanese sounds for a monkey, a bit like how they’d say “ook ook” or “oo oo” around here! It might even be the sound for a cool, special type of sunglasses monkey that makes you hit an offbeat! 

Oh, and in this game it tries to steal your hat. So rude! Mario needs that! It’s his life energy! 

In the next few years, Ukiki receives the same fate of most B-list Mario enemies during the Gamecube years: being kept singlehandedly on life-support by half a dozen Mario Party games! This is a funny artwork of Peach and her new child that she gave birth to! Welcome to the world, little monkey!

No, I’m only kidding! This is from a minigame Chimp Chase, where you need to reunite baby Ukikis with their parents of the same colour! Wait, there are different coloured Ukikis? And the adult ones are huge! Does this mean every Ukiki we’ve met so far is a juvenile, and the average Ukiki grows to an enormous size? Probably not, because this is a random minigame from Mario Party 5! 

There are also golden Ukikis who you can hand over to any adult, and I just like the implication of that. They don’t care if it’s their child or not- they’re rich!

Speaking of funny Ukiki artwork, I really like this one, from Mario Party 6′s Snow Brawl! It is so dramatic! Mario throwing a snowball with such force and rage, the Ukiki covered in snow cowering behind him... this one picture represents the horrors of war better than any war movie I’ve ever seen!

In Mario Party Advance, we meet a certain young tomboyish Ukiki named Akiki- and you know she’s a tomboy, because she’s a Womoid who doesn’t even wear a bow! So scandalous! Unfortunately, her uncle Ukiki has left her a note saying he’s being kidnapped, with the only clue being a message that reads “bIg teAM cAT THElf bLAKE.” And she needs YOUR help to find him!

Can YOU figure out where Ukiki is?

That’s right, the capital letters spell out “I AM AT THE LAKE”, and lo, he is at the lake! He actually wasn’t kidnapped at all, and was just playing a prank on his niece. But that’s... a really unfunny prank! There isn’t any joke here at all! A hoax like this can be a serious crime in some places, you know! That’s very irresponsible!

...But I guess monkeys are above the law.

Now you may have noticed that these past few appearances are all based on their look in Super Mario 64... but that would soon change!

It is of course, the second coming of Mario enemy redesigns, Super Mario 64 DS! This game redesigned Ukiki, or I guess re-redesigned them to look like the original art for Yoshi’s Island, with a big old mouth! Which look is your favorite? I think the N64 Ukiki has its own charm as a cute little monkey, but the newer (older?) one is more unique and definitely fits better as a Mario character, I think! 

Hey wait, Mario Party Advance came out after 64 DS? That doesn’t seem right! I guess the two eras of Ukikis aren’t totally clear-cut, after all!

The rest of our Ukiki appearances aren’t really that interesting, since they’re mostly just the modern Yoshi games, and I don’t feel like talking about those! It’d be boring! Instead, I have a funny little Ukiki in a sailor hat for you. 

Hee hee! So funny!