#gotta work on moon 19

[loudclan-clangen]

do you think Fiercestripe tried to clean Mothtree like she always did before, but this time off blood and dirt and grit? even though there was too much blood and it kept flowing, despite the injuries closing on their own over time (im not a corpse expert, but generally that's how that works). she hopelessly tries to rouse Moth to wake up as she keeps going, futilely believing that maybe she will wake up and complain like she always did and they will have a laugh about it. but Moth doesn't wake up and other cats wonder when will be the best time to get Fierce away from the body so they can bury it.

or is it just me

Hi anon, this imagery was great, you’re absolutely right, please accept this slightly more happy interpretation cause we’ve been focusing only sad stuff too much recently:

Grouping these two together cause I’m trying to get done with the Moon 18 related asks to move onto bigger and better things. Fierce is… Okay. She’s not doing well, obviously, but she has a very loving mate, at least one healthy daughter, and enough life experience to keep her from completely spiraling. Grief and stress are taking their toll but Fiercestripe is not the kind of cat to just lay down and give up, ya know? Sure, she’s probably a little overprotective of Rosehipkit, and maybe she doesn’t get much sleep because she’s busy listening to make sure that Rosehipkit doesn’t stop breathing, but that’s all expected given the situation. While she doesn’t know about the rosehip omen (Wildfirecry didn’t have the heart to tell her) she knows her mate well enough to understand that he doesn’t have much hope for their daughter, and she is trying her best to stay strong, knowing that Dogwoodkit will need her regardless of what happens to Rosehipkit while not emotionally isolating herself from Rose. In the end, she’s staying strong in the face of everything. It’s the only thing she knows how to do.

[accio-victuuri]

ONE NIGHT IN BEIJING & other sweets 🌃

when i first saw this song being discussed earlier, i was confused cause i don’t know what’s happening. lol. what’s with the song. i cannot trace where the screenshot is from but it says one of WYB’s favorite song is this, one night in beijing.

then a fan commented that XZ sang this in our song before ( not main performance ) and someone found a recording. did he discover the song because of that? was it on zz’s playlist at some point in the past and became his fave?

the song itself tho. very 👀👀👀

Don’t wish to ask where you have been

Don’t wish to wonder if you are ever returning

I’m thinking of your heart, I’m thinking of your face

I’m thinking of your embrace – I won’t let go, I just won’t

that’s just the first few lines and i’m here nodding my head that this fits his style of bittersweet song.

but this not even the interesting part….

Fans are thinking about how this relates to what’s been happening in the past few ways. The way we have speculated about 11/19 and WYB acting as the mystery driver again. Then him sharing a post on his weibo. One night in Beijing? Does he love that particular title cause it sometimes describes their meetings? They are often busy and one night is all they can get.

People are also pointing out the change in ZZ’s work schedule today. His LOCH sched starts early and ends in the evening or very late but the 5:30-6:00 AM call time for him is almost fixed. Yesterday, 11/22, WYB posts and we think they are together. What happens today? ZZ comes in “late” to work at 11:30 AM. So why the change? Was he spending time with Bobo? This reminds me of that time he was out of his schedule too when Bobo was sick.

A common argument from haters is how is a relationship between them possible. They are busy! Well.. this is how. since 2020, they have been meeting (allegedly) and even going to each other’s workplace ( allegedly lol repeating this to be safe ) It doesn’t matter how long, they make it work. You will always find time for the important people in your life.

Next, let’s move on to XZS post. On a Thursday. Also it perfectly coincides with their WB account reaching 10 million followers. The photos shared are behind the scenes content from ad shoots but the contrast of the photos stands out. Day & Night. The kadian they use, 14:23 loving zhan forever. Which goes to show that they do use it!

The caption gives us more insight on the choice of photos. Sun & Moon. Another symbolism that is popular with CPFs Sun/Sunshine & Moon.

“It is the perfect moment, just like when the gentle light meets the rising moon.”

I think the english translation doesn’t give that much deeper meaning that we clowns love. so we gotta take it to the next level 🙃🙃🙃

"Fuguang" and "Wangshu" are both important elements in Chinese culture. "Fuguang" comes from the works of Song poets in the Southern Dynasties, which means sunlight or sunlight."Wangshu" is a god in Chinese mythology and legend, representing the moon and can be used to describe moonlight'. The two can be combined to show that lovers support each other and move towards a bright future together.

This caption aligns to WYB posting a photo yesterday that shows the 🌙. So does this mean WYB is the Moon & ZZ is the Sun/light? I have to say that it fits with their personality ( tho Bobo is warm and ZZ has his moments of being cold too but you know what I mean, for symbolic purposes only ok. ) I am loving this imagery between them! I hope we can have more reference in the future.

I’m cackling at this tho. The progression of posts, WYB’s caption was a reminder that it’s getting colder > YBO reposts and says to wear warmer clothes > XZS posts and GG is wearing a cozy sweater 😂 As if saying that yep, he has worn warmer clothes. LOL.

and xzs and ybo are at it again, the photo ybo shared yesterday was showing wyb’s back and xzs shared something similar today as the last photo in the grid. i’m sure they have lots of photos that show his face or close ups of his body like his hand but they had to choose this as the finale.

i mean thank you, this will make it easier for us to edit them together 😂😂😂

Bonus, the “light” photos appear to form an 8 = bo. (p1) is a himalaya episode about the 8 of diamonds card forming an 8. What a coincidence!

-END.

[disassociationdive]

Post includes spoilers for all chapter.

I went back to read the chapter and here are some rough notes I took while reading. I’ll probably make it a little more coherent in time, but this is rough. Basically footnotes for future reference.

Ghouls

Lucas - Iggnaim / barrier (as per Hyde)

“I could have sworn the bullet had been coming straight for us. But the instant before it hit Luca, it vanished, as though swallowed by some invisible force”

Kaito - Can see auras (as per Hyde)

Academy of Ghouls

Chapter 2

- Taiga on a mission. When did they lose permission to go on missions?

- What is Taiga’s power, Crunched glass and blood into his gun?

Chapter 3

- Haku when Taiga prepares to throw us out the window- “come on, man. Don’t do that in front of me.” — “I’m just saying. I’ll have to tell the academy, and no one wants that.”

- Haku acting as inspector? This why Sinostra grounded?

- Haku blows flute ans smells of rain with bubbles coming out our throat. Does his power transport people from red dimension to regular dimension?

Chapter 4

- “Wasn’t it nighttime when I left the concert?” -mc “I had a bad feeling when I heard Taiga was heading this one. Glad I cordoned everything off” - Haku

-Is the change in dimension the “new moon” mentioned in prophecy?

- Haku on the phone “Hello? Yeah, slight emergency. No, not Taiga… well kind of him, I suppose” talking to professor Nikolas as per chapter 6

Chapter 7

- “… then someone with a gun showed up… then he attacked me too for some reason, but Haku saved me” MC “No way. Taiga did what? Sorry, gonna have to pretend I didn’t hear that part.” Professor Hyde

Chapter 9

- (Regarding the anomaly and Taiga) “That anomaly is very troublesome. That’s why we chose Hoshibami, one of the more aggressive ghouls, to handle it. But he failed to capture or even defeat it. What’s the point of ghouls students if they can’t do what’s on the tin?”

- “Ghouls are not ordinary humans. They are physically tougher and posses certain special abilities”

- Only ghouls can become special admission students

- “The mesmer matches aren’t working on you. perhaps the curse is cancelling them out. If the matches worked, then she wouldn’t be cursed anymore” (they take away curses as well as memories????)

Chapter 10

- We will need to check your belongings, so please leave everything here

- “(…) General student house reassignments today, prophecy research, and Clash clean up ASAP (chancellor to himself)

- “The chancellor told me I was going to die in a year” “Darkwick is on the cutting edge of anomalous research. Unfortunately that means your diagnosis… is likely quite accurate” prof Nicholas

Chapter 11

- “I hurriedly grabbed a nearby piece of black fabric, pulled it over my head, and held my breath

Chapter 13

- Talking about veil “oh this is a keepsake from my mother” “Oh… I actually have something like that too!” -Kaito (pendant?)

- Kaito “huh? It’s usually super crowded around here… where did everyone go? What’s going on? Maybe someone posted about it on Wickchat”

- Kaito “my gram always told me to believe in destiny. Maybe I was born to protect you.”

- (In courtyard) Kaito “No one here either?Weird…”

Chapter 16

- Hera’s Snakes

- “Hera’s snakes? I feel like I’ve heard that name in class…” -Kaito

Chapter 18

- How many times do I have to tell you? If you can’t pay… just hand over this pendant instead!!” “How many times have I gotta tell you, this is the one thing you’ll never get from me!!” Romeo and Kaito

Chapter 19

- Why are you wearing Hera’s Snakes

- When alarms went off the three ghouls thought the anomaly had appeared. Alarms were blaring because you were wearing an anomaly while jumping the platform, not because you tried to jump the platform

- Romeo grabbed aggressively our arm while yelling at us and the veil attacked with tentacle’s

Chapter 20

- Veil only attacks when MC believes she is in danger, not if someone touches her . “Protect me from people with malicious intent”

- Can’t remove veil from self. Luca and Kaito were able to move it

Chapter 21

- “The cost of this veil’s power is that you can’t remove it yourself” Luca

- Luca pledged to find a cure for the curse

Chapter 22

- Veil starts glowing and floating. “It’s warm” MC reaches out with her hand. “My finger is burning” then ring appears on MCs hand.

- Romeo aimed gun at MC. Luca takes MC wrist. Ring glowed. Luca uses his power. Black veil tentacles protects as well as Luca’s powers. “Something feels.. wrong…” -Luca. Huge monster appears. Can MC see monster? She was the only one to not react to monster. “You… what did you just do…?” -Luca

- “Mr. Lucci! I have a bone to pick either you over this and over your captain’s recent behaviour! Chancelor to Romeo

Chapter 23

- “Professor Nicholas! Please try removing the ring from her finger” “W-what?! That’s Hera’s Snakes, right…?” “Just be gentle and you’ll be fine! Probably. (…)”

- Ring does not move at all when Prof Nicolas tries to remove it. Chancellor says we need to take the stigma test

- “I’m sorry I didn’t notice how scared you were” (…) “please don’t worry. I’ll do my best to make sure you have as much freedom as possible” -Nicolas

- Screen goes black. MC name plate “or so he said…but now this…” I think the dark is the blindfold that is put on MC. Not a narrator/foreshadowing screen

- Regarding the examiner. “When they (shoe sounds) were inches away, they stopped, and a sweet smell like incense tickled my nose”. MC does not recognize the voice. Refers to voice as “he”

Chapter 24

- Regarding the tea Hyde brought to the Chancellors office. “when I inhaled the floral scent wafting from it, suddenly I felt strangely calm” hyde mentioned it has « Epione’s Flower «  and that it was good for nerves and anxiety. Tea was made by Nicolas

- “It seems that you … … possess the ability to enhance ghoul’s stigmas!”

- Regarding ghouls “do you recall the students you’ve encountered who possessed exceptional combat abilities” Chancellor

- “”Ghouls transcend humans in both ability and aggression.”the evidence is irrefutable” Chancellor

- Ghouls referred to as “special admission students” they have “devoured a demon”

- “Since time immemorial, humans have sold their souls to demons in exchange for the granting of a wish. We call this a demon pact. But the realization of a wish… comes at a price. Usually, the pact maker dies a gruesome death. Even if they manage to escape death, they eventually becomes a soulless husk. This is because the soul of the pact maker… … is devoured by their demon. However! Although they are extremely rare, there are some individuals… who survive their pact completely unharmed. Those one-in-a-million exception… … are the ghouls whom you met today (at this point we have met five ghouls. There were 5 characters in the OG concept. Curious if that is related to the OG concept)

- “We are still in the thick of our research, so there are unknowns remaining, of course. But the leading theory is that they acquire inhumain powers by devouring demons” chancellor

Chapter 25

- “Through our research we may be able to get to the bottom of how they survived unharmed … … and indeed, what the true identity of these entities we call demons is!” Chancellor

- “Unlike humans, ghouls possess enduring physical strength. They also possess a special ability gained through devouring a demon. Essentially, they have a superpower. We call that power a “stigma” chancellor

- “Another interesting thing about ghouls is their incantation. They seem to have to need it to trigger their stigma. Some have to say it out loud, whereas others can just say it in their heads”. Hyde

- “I believe Mr. Kamurai (Jin) used to say it out loud when he was a first year, but after a while he stopped needing to” Chancellor “I think it has something to do with their level of proficiency using their stigma, and with their mental state” Hyde

- Watching video replay of the Luca arm holding incident. “Huh…? That monster should have been standing right above us there… Why isn’t it in the video?”

- That ring on your finger is most likely the Sage’s Ring “who would of thought it would be disguising itself as Hera’s Snakes” chancellor “We thought Hera’s Snakes was a dangerous anomaly that caused the death of it’s wearers. And yet here you are. I think it’s safe to assume that you have been chosen by the ring

- So there was no Hera’s Snakes to begin with, just the ring pretending to be a veil and killing the unworthy?

Chapter 26

- While travelling on the train, you had the misfortune of encountering an anomaly that curses people. Anyone who sees its eye is cursed to die in one year’s time.

- If you can forget the eye the curse will be immediately broken. (AKA mesmer matches that don’t work on us)

- Our Mesmer Matches can erase one days worth of memories, but the curse is too powerful, so they don’t work

- Inspector = compiling mission reports

- An Inspector? Are you sure I could do something like that?

- Of course! Since the Mesmer Matches don’t work on you, if anything, you’re the perfect candidate. -Chancellor

- Those troublemakers sure are creative with their interpretations of “reasonable use” - hyde

- Anomaly that cursed us is Class B

- Granted scholarship to cover academic and personal costs

Chapter 27

- Chancellor asks Hyde for the Kudan at entrance ceremony

- Kudan = beast of prophecy

- Weighing of souls. General students at orientation. Ghouls/special admission at entrance ceremony

- “But where the ghouls go affects the power balance of the houses. It’s kind of a big deal, so they usually do it at the entrance ceremony -Kaito

- There’s seven houses this year

Chapter 27

- Take the hand of this mannequin, and envision your ambitions for your time here” - chancellor to new ghouls for weighing

- “I’m not in Frostheim…? Has there been a mistake? - Ritsu when put in Sonostra

- Even the general admission students in Sinostra are a shady crowd.The whole house has a bad rep. - Kaito

- Taiga and Romeo not at entrance ceremony.

- Judging by the state of the chancellor, I bet Sinostra’s gonna get in trouble

- “One for Vagastrom… The dissidents will be happy. 😠- kaito

- Dissidents…? Are there factions or something? MC

- Something like that, yeah. Kaito

- Vagastrom is a delinquent stomping ground. You should stay away from there, Sam. Apparently they gather in some room under their house every night and do crazy stuff… And I heard their captain was arrested for theft or murder or something before he came to Darkwick. - Kaito

- Before??

- Jabberwock’s in charge of looking after all the anomolous animals in Darkwick’s custody. The Academystopped general admissions for Jabberwock recently, so all the students are ghouls.

Chapter 29

- The year’s only just begun and it’s one calamity after another. MC will need to roll up her sleeves!

Chapter 30

- The professor seems flustered. Has there been a problem? -Luca

- Oh, yeah. Let’s just hope there not already a fight over the new ghoul assignments… - Kaito

- Kaito regarding Hotarubi student “they feel kinda fake…. They’ve gotta be hiding something, right?!”

- Regarding Mot.. “they major in specialized medical fields like anomalous medicine.

- Kaito regarding ghouls “our bodies aren’t the same as regular humans. Mainstream medicine doesn’t work for us.

- Always connected to Academy even after grad for health treatments?

- It’s the newest one of the current lineup. There’s no general students, and even most ghoul students can’t join it. Let’s just say it’s special. You can’t be assigned there via the Weighing of Souls. I don’t know much about them either, but rumour has it their captain was the one who- (Kaito)

- The clash???

- Memory pot.

- “ The whisper of the new moon shall lead the champion to the academy on the solitary isle. So long as the champion resides there, the world shall be sheltered from profound tragedy.” (Prophecy)

- The prophecy of the Kudan is a bastion of hope that has been entrusted to us. Chancellor

- The whispers of the new moon refers to the tidings that bring us to the birth pf a new ghoul. The academy on the solitary isle is, of course, Darkwick academy. The ghouls who have been gathered here by the new moons whisper… shall save the world from profound tragedy! They are our champions!

- She posses a special gift-the power to enhnce your stigmas just by touching you! The Mesmer Matches that you carry for missions don’t work on her. The details of the missions she inspects will be accurately recorded with absolute accuracy. That means you can tidy up the little ambiguities that have persisted in your reports up until now. - Chancellor to student body

- We cormed this theory based on the results of seceral tests and my own professional opinion. Tragically, Sam has been cursed by an anomaly she encountered by chance. If the curse isn’t broken, she’ll die in one year. As the Chancellor explained, Mesmer matches don’t work on her. It can be reasoned that the curse is cancelling out the effects of the matches (bc if we forget the eye we aren’t cursed anymore?) (…) Of course, Darkwick can’t allow the properties of a fatal curse to remain unknown. -Hyde

- MC notes the atmosphere in auditorium got tense, felt she wasn’t welcome.

Chapter 31/32

- Collapsed after the end of chapter 30 while onstage

- Dante new Frostheim house adviser

- Not ready for a mission yet. Focus on classes as per Dante

- “A new phone? What happened to my-“

- RIP MC’s phone, hope you enjoy lockup

- “I HATE THIS PLACE!! I didn’t ask to be a ghoul!! (…) I can’t take this anymore… I want to go back to being an ordinary human. -Kaito w pissed off face for first part

- Didn’t know consequences of pact or didn’t make one?

- I swear to you that I’ll turn you back into a human. So please, stop crying. (…)This is an ordeal that has been imposed upon us. Kaito, I’m sure that you can overcome it. Luca to Kaito

- Gonna be honest, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about… (kaito) That’s fine, for now. (…) eventually you’ll understand the reason for this suffering. Until then, I’ll do all in my power to protect you both -Luca

Chapter 33

- ….Was it a demon that cursed you? Luca. When I looked over at Luca, it was as though the moonlight had disappeared from his eyes. A shover ran up my spine. I’d seen that expression before.

- Brother curse by demon? Or some other reason for vibe change?

- Seen the expression before from Luca or somewhere else?

First pic - Chapter 30showing the ghouls in attendance. Towa, Jim, Ed, and Haku not pictured.

(Thought Halu had attended)

-engineer “one of you is a demon” (Luca?)

[visiblenostalgia]

🥱The POST-Aries Eclipse…😑✨

月曜日。8日4月2024年

19° Aries: (Libra Degree) from [Sabian Symbologist],

“Only Your Soul Knows For Sure”

“…a symbol of periodic expansion of man’s freedom of spirit and soul through his widely winging interest far removed from his normal promise,” What comes from this understanding yourself before understanding others. Being YOURSELF in the CROWD. A standout.

However, they even state that detaching too much (dissociation) may lead to “scorn” from responsibilities. Healthy detachment is okay. Just be careful to dissociate yourself from everything. Feeling too much of nothing can STILL be feeling something.

(More of my experiences under the cut)

It’s like ever since this eclipse on Monday the 8th, the energy around me has been much more light and open to my energy. Like I can move on and get stuff done. I no longer feel hunkered down as I feel like I can let grudges, bygones, fucked interactions with people (mind the Aries Mercury retrograde) and forgetfulness go.

Not to mention that when I just look forward and keep on keeping on, do I “breathe in” revitalizing energy. I feel like I can take in something new as my friends and career shift to both of what’s needed of me and what are my desires.

Another thing to note was the Eclipse occurred right on my 11th house cusp. If I could call it my Secondhand Midhaven I would. My SM. Cause that’s made my work and creative life so much more passionate and enjoyable. All because of letting things, emotions, and people that did not suit me at all….go.

It feels like that first rainy day after a long brutal heatwave. I can finally feel at ease and hop onto my work.

Extra little notes of what my latest experiences were like:

I started roleplays that go episode by episode in a show and we’ve been doing our own spins on it (creative juices a’flowing babyyyyy)

Spiritual downloads of ideologies that currently don’t exist but may come these next few decades. Something aligned with (again,) Creativity, Chaos, Common Knowledge, Sensibility, Laughter, Understanding divine timing…. TRUE Healing too (not running away or asking too much from therapy. Cause if you’re not growing yourself day by day (of course with a little advice but not too much to over rely) there’s no way).

Just being around friends who understand me. Being around people who are just here for a good time. Fighting only takes so much out of the human spirit. Gotta remember that night will hit and the hay needs someone to rest against it.

Some music I found that matched what it feels like coming out of that eclipse.

This one mainly being the sole reason why I love my state (and how lucky we are to get totality even if it was cloudy as fuck. PEOPLE STILL GOT TOGETHER TO HANG OUT)

I salute to you Texas. May the lone star state shine forever in our proud favor.

I’ve also dabbled in more Nu Metal because of the crazy war vibes from Aries alone.

Another song from Cowboy Carter that just makes me feel so ready to jump out there and smile:

😵‍💫Pre-Solar: in between…🤬

金曜日。5日4月2024年

Now that I think more on some stuff:

This is a side track where it was IN-BETWEEN the two eclipses from Libra Lunar and Aries Solar.

I saw The First Omen and good god did it make me feel the uncomfortableness of it all within that eclipse cycle. It scared me five times not gonna lie. And I haven’t cringed harder than I have since then.

What surprised me was that the Astrology for WHEN EXACTLY I went also lined up with something.

Moon (Emotions/Feelings) conjunct with Mars (Intensity/Drive) and Saturn (Structure/Discipline + Nihilism/Realism). Saturn tends to put pressure on systems it seems unfit or not suitable for the others around. A “YOU BEST GIT YOUR ACT TOGETHER” energy. ESPECIALLY WITH MARS. Not to mention Pisces rules religious beliefs and ideologies that are overwhelmingly large and complex. Combining all four……also added onto the fact that said movie watched was The First Omen…

It made me understand something….

That movie was about Religious Dogmatism and you couldn’t tell me otherwise! (Do tell me otherwise LMAO)

🐟🔥🪐

Much love to the astrology community guys. Hope you guys have been eating well and doing your best to protect your energy cause the world wants to bring yours down every day no matter what form.

🫶

[camp-queer-and-there]

lucille my old hag can you hit that

THIS SHIT LACED😭 im forreal a freak just lmk👀👅 ohio skibidi toilet oi oi oi😏 maxdesignpro WHAT!? HELP ME! HELP = 👍 fetus sebastian hes so ugly i cant would you rather have 1 million dollars or CANCER! art is lowkey so amazingly beautiful...gigachad sigma LET HIMM COOK!🗣️🗣️ uwu >_< anyone got anyone spongebob x reader👀 only in eastern latvia💀 ohio final boss grimace shake charlie the steak ishowspeed kai cenat the amazing digital circus pomni garten of banban caseoh gyatt super mogger looksmaxxing based and redpilled diabolical lick😈erm what the sigma oh! thats not!- getting my top surgery done at claires POV: youre ben shapiros mom and hes convincing to let him get gta5 i feel like calling you a slur.. what type of gay are you, since you dont have it in your bio... the european mind cannot comprehend this drew phillips: hello im drew phillips the ahh magic i finna be in the pit on cap. 123°!? gurrrll we are not thanksgiving turkeys😂and thats on period fahrenheit lankybox elisocray INSANE UNBOXING! gegagedigedagedago we can go gyatt for gyatt fuck that we can go rizz for rizz 19 bucks for the fortnite card double pump with the fanum tax THE BIG APPLE! drake vs kendrick beef p diddy dr disrespect annoying orange if garlic was a person my name is drake and im here to say.. kendrick lamar your disses arent okay! diss me diss me now you gotta kiss me quandale dingle mf doom dookie baby girl my pookie wubbleshmubble kins whats hurts more than being yelled at be skinned alive probably pov: i am your cashier during february (and i notice you are black) you look like tyler the creator if he was in my dreams ray william johnson sybrian dancing lady oh when the saints go marching in oh when the saints go marching in todoroki gives birth alone jumbo josh is lost in the zumb sauce lightskin touch the moon bozo cant im walking my fish why are frogs so stupid show me your griddy show me your griddy.... show me your... DOHHH THATS ONE WAY TO HIT THE GRIDDY. THATS ONE WAY TO HIT THE GRIDDY grwm to go to bath and body works temu workers getting ready to clock in day in the life of a twitch streamer your final challenge.. let yo bih go through your phone!... AH HELL NAW YO ASS TWEAKIN JIGSAW quavo stop thats the gayest shit ever amoeba sisters angst preppycon 2024 kart ride into spongebob youve been here before.. a weirdcore dreamcore kidcore clowncore playlist. my talking tom her body tea is insane😭 my aura is unmatched DO NOT PLAY CREEPY BATH GAME AT 3AM!!!!!!!! *THIS IS WHY* ALMOST DROWNED school isnt done but i am💀 omg u did call me baby.. maybe ..omg did he call her baby.. maybe.. im not okay..... bark for me. pov family dinner😭💀why u so pissed ...what me when i get mustard for christmas yall when i put on my dad fit "FREAKYbob" I AINT ANSWERING!! HELPP IM DEADDDD wait no im not maya winky boyfriend takes you out to eat but his opps slide on him [boyfriend asmr] mrbeast might ne TOO BIG to he cancelled squid games i hope someone dies and goes to hell today me staring at the sephora employee in the eye as i "sample" a $800 perfume cats when you cover their cage with a blanket blud thinks hes the main character💀 omg a rare gyatt sighting ninja fortnite sneako the ocky way new yorkian vermontian how 10 yr old me felt after putting "i dont speak tags" in an argument holy fricking smokes dude.. my cut is insane... shout out to my barber dawg! bro thinks hes the thinker waterless baked water what i would wear to my isis execution why did my dog just punch me😓 #STOPBULLYING💯

i mean.. i kind of ocd😁 you mean OBESity stop doing the golden freddy pose youre scaring the kids when a client wants to trauma dump first session when i dont have enough diamonds on episode so now i gotta shit in the school hallway in front of my crush phone and youtube video lobster activity someone shot trump in the ear he wouldnt have missed goku drip well my mother always said the best flowers get picked first dudes been waiting for his mcflurry since 1786 ladies ladies one at a time please😍 rio de janeiro the oppblock hazbin hotel boy rejoice creepy autism simulator my scary silent hill whos ivan mac n cheeks freak island home sweet home.. blud always looking at sum😭😭😭when face id acting up so you gotta LOCK IN fuck im washed WAIT IM GOATED why the mob isnt a fucking aesthetic: a thread this where the magic happens👅 style griddy👀

what

- ⌛

[efingart]

Fanfic Writer Asks

tagged by @voltac thank you!!💙💙💙

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (18 if you count my secret account lol)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

181,206 (+12,106 secret account)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Call of Duty

4. Top five fics by kudos

Just What I Needed, Go All Night, Uncle Frank

5. Do you respond to comments?

Oh yeah, if I haven't responded on ao3 it's probably because I talked to the person one-on-one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'd say Has to Be Enough

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think Go All Night

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. Do you write smut?

Hahah yes.

10. Craziest crossover:

None yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A long time ago when I was in highschool.

14. All time favorite ship?

99% of my stuff is Frank x Mila so I guess I gotta go with that.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan on finishing all of them eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character development, interactions, dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't tend to describe my environments in great detail unless necessary.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't attempt this.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Sailor Moon lol

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Strays, Bruises, and Burgers (tumblr link) I will kiss you on the mouth (not literally) if you read it and comment on it. It is so underloved. I love it so much. I'm going to make a comic of it someday.

tagging: @revnah1406 , @writeforfandoms , @imagoddamnonionmason, @socially-awkward-skeleton

I'm having a brain fart remembering who else is on ao3 😭

[lamaenthel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25! 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

[foxes-that-run]

Meet me in the Hallway

His debut's opening track - first taste the world had of solo Harry Styles. MMIH drew a line under 1D, telling the listener to not expect a teen popstar. It's slow and is still one of his more vulnerable songs.

Inspiration

You can hear the influence of Pink Floyd's Breathe in MMIH. Harry has long listed Pink Floyd as an influence, and he has a tattoo for the Dark side of the Moon Album cover, of which Breathe is the opening track. On 29 September 2016, while finalising his first album, Harry gave a 10 song mix tape to Another Man, Breathe was the first song.

It likens love to addiction, and includes not communicating with his partner, similar to Fine Line and Clean. It also has similarities to Only Angel. It was later referenced by both Harry and Taylor's songs about each other.

When was it written

MMIH, Kiwi and Sweet Creature were the first songs written for the album, in LA between February and May 2016. MMIH and Kiwi are in this photo of the album taking shape from before Harry cut his hair for Dunkirk.

Live performances and emotional range

Harry hasn't played it live since July 2018, it has emotional range:

Taylor was in London, in Hampstead Health start of 2018. Harry writes Fine Line (Jan 2018) & Taylor - Cruel Summer (mid-2018).

9 March - Joe and Taylor look miserable in the US Joe hikes in dark jeans and nikes, and again in London April 8.

11 March - Harry's tour starts again and MMIH was particularly hard to perform. In Copenhagen 19 March 2018, he turned away and left:

23-30 June - Taylor 1 week break in the US, now both in the US.

1 July - He smirks in the same song and sings "Running with you" rather than thieves:

The next week, Taylor and Joe were uncharacteristically papped in Turks and Caicos. That night, Harry talked to a fan who fell in love to MMIH. He then broke up with Camille shortly after and wrote Cherry and Falling.

Lyrics

Meet me in the hallway Meet me in the hallway I just left the bedroom Give me some morphine Is there any more to do?

In Only Angel Harry sings about breaking a knuckle on her bedroom door, driven by hunger, here he is overwhelmed with sadness mixed with desire.

Hallways are mentioned in many Haylor songs

Harry and Taylor have stayed in the same hotel many times, when they dated they did in NY and have both attended many international awards, like the 2013 NRG awards in Cannes.

Harry likens his attraction to his muse as a heroin addition. Taylor later sang in Death by a thousand cuts Taylor refers to this "Gave up on me like I was a bad drug".

Taylor had previously likened getting over Harry to recovering from a drug addiction in the closing track of 1989, Clean. "Ten months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it / Ten months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it"

Just let me know I'll be at the door, at the door Hoping you'll come around Just let me know I'll be on the floor, on the floor Maybe we'll work it out I gotta get better, gotta get better I gotta get better, gotta get better I gotta get better, gotta get better And maybe we'll work it out

"Maybe we'll work it out" is almost a precursor to the chorus and end of Fine Line's uncertain "We'll be alright"

He's aware the person does not feel the same about him but is hoping that will change. Also similar to Fine Line, here is willing to be on the floor for her, whereas in the later Fine Line with great vulnerability he sings "I don't want to fight you / And I don't want to sleep in the dirt"

I walked the streets all day Running with the thieves Cause you left me in the hallway (Give me some more) Just take the pain away

Harry is lost and searching for a way to take his mind off his muse or find answers.

Taylor refers to this line in "Ready for it..?" "Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me / Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry"

In Saint Paul he changed this line to running with you and did the pointing up motion he has in medicine.

We don't talk about it It's something we don't do Cause once you go without it Nothing else will do

He sang this verse at the start of the tour 2017 - but not in 2018.

After pleading his love to take the pain away and be with him.

A theme in many of their songs reflect on the lack of communication:

In Fine Line Harry sings "Spreading you open / Is the only way of knowing you" to reflect that are drawn to each other but don't communicate:

In Message in a bottle, Two Ghosts and Sunflower Vol 6 Harry and Taylor are Tongue Tied

In Wish you would he 'Still doesn't know what [Taylor] never said'

They have spoken in interviews about song being the most amazing unspoken dialogue, that they can say things in song they can't to each other.

[foibles-fables]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @uhhhyaenbyjade!!

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Sitting at 79, currently!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 363,375

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Like, ever? Lots of them over the past twenty years, hahah. Currently it's mostly Horizon that's got me by the throat, but I've also put out a couple one-offs for Stray Gods and Control over the least year. Besides those, I'd say my main claims to clownery would be Legend of the Seeker and Warrior Nun. I'm also finally dipping my toes into the ATLA scene after missing the boat for way, way too long.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm gonna remix this question a little bit and pick the top one from my an amalgamation of my five most prominent/recent fandoms, since otherwise Warrior Nun dominates due to sheer fandom size-- 1- Because the Light Is Close (Warrior Nun) 2- The Weight of Us (Legend of the Seeker) 3- rest like you belong here. (Horizon) 4- brave this time (Stray Gods) 5- dream geometries (Control)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do!!! Gotta lavish my genuine gratitude on you lovely, wonderful, amazing folks who take time out of your day to read and hype up my silly writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh hmmm. If we're talking recently (like, written since 2010) it's gotta be so i'll stay half away (Horizon). That comic, man. lmao. lol. OH! Or waiting through daybreak (Stray), because that cat game is an emotional wrecking ball

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

TOO MANY OF THEM, LATELY? I feel like I need to dive back into a bittersweetness era, because wouggghh have my endings been tooth-rottingly sweet. Recently I'd pin this title on entering light (Horizon).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not directly on the fics or to my face, which is nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah! Overwhelmingly sapphic, usually of the more esoteric variety re: language. Using sex as a character study is my passion.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not in many, many moons have I written a crossover. And the only time I ever did, it was from two shows in the same universe, lmao.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

For the first time recently, yes!!! So freakin cool! Check out this Mandarin translation of eye for eye, tooth for tooth (Control).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, but I gotta thank Meg for being my cowriter on Talanah's FOTH path!!!!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

don't make me choose between Cara/Kahlan and Aloy/Talanah. please

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sorry to that one early Warrior Nun fic I left hanging after a single chapter

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotional immediacy, prose-craft, evocative syntax, lyricality

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

MY SPEED. OUGGHHHH. Also I am actively trying to get better at dialogue, along with location/setting descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd tackle it if it fit the scope of the fic, and only with the guidance of someone fluent in said language!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Written for and posted? The Xenosaga series at age 11, baybeeee. I wrote plenty before that without posting, however.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This legitimately changes on the daily. It's impossible for me to choose, so I'll just toss out if you held yourself up to the light (Horizon) as today's contender.

No-pressure tags: @mehoymalloy @tjerra14 @finrays @sssammich @askweisswolf and anyone else who sees this and wants a go! Just tag me as your tagger!

[an-aura-about-you]

I will probably finish reading Handbook for Mortals today since I have the day off, but we're still tackling it one chapter at a time here.

Chapter 19:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade was still dying. how many chapters have I started off like that now? but we finally have a gameplan to stop the dying and hopefully that will get started soon.

Chapter 19: Death

-that's very clever. how long did it take you to pick that tarot card for this chapter?

-"The seconds felt like hours, the minutes felt like days, and the hours felt like years while they waited for Dela to be ready." considering the last time we got a timestamp 48 hours have passed, I'm feeling it, too. either die or not, Zadie.

-for as much as Zade enjoys infodumping on the reader about all her spiritual beliefs, she has zero information for where her spirit was when all of this was going on.

-you know what this whole setup reminds me of? poorly written hanahaki disease fanfics. "so hanahaki disease fanfics?" nah, I've read good ones. so what makes a bad one bad? it's when the person choking on the flowers doesn't admit that their unrequited feelings are THEIR problem to deal with and not the fault of the object of their affections.

this book has the same attitude with how it treats Mac, and now we've got the same imagery with Mac sitting on the edge of Zade's deathbed and her barely able to breath, that being the only sign that she's still alive at this point.

-Dela reaffirms to Mac that if he wants his part in this to work he has to believe that it will. well, duh. but I'm mainly mentioning this for a part that's coming up later.

-there are some weeping willows outside and "In that moment, the trees truly looked like they were weeping."

-wait, the moonlight is shining through the trees?

ok, you guys are gonna have to follow me a little bit on this to understand why I'm confused. back in Chapter 15 when Dela called Charles, she mentioned the Moon was waning and that this is good for whatever she has to do to help Zade. she didn't say what phase the Moon was in, only that it was waning.

(though the narration gave us an explanation to what waxing and waning meant as if that's something unique to astrology and not terminology astronomers also use.)

so the reasonable part of me assumed that we've spent all this time waiting because Dela was waiting for the New Moon.

but if it's the New Moon, the moonlight WOULDN'T be shining through the trees.

if we weren't waiting for that phase, what phase WERE we waiting for? why were we waiting AT ALL?

-also the narration mentions that Dela's altar setup is not a permanent one but something she makes using two fountains in her yard. if she doesn't have a permanent altar, why was it so important to bring Zade to Tennessee?

-And Of Course The Light Of The Waning But Not New Moon Is Shining Directly On The Altar Like A Spotlight. even the book can't believe how over the top this is.

-wait a minute, now the altar is a long stone table? how do the fountains figure into this? I really don't know what I'm supposed to be picturing here.

-Miss "Nighttime Thunderstorms Are The Magical Ones" says that the storm that kicks up at this point is too Vegas for her tastes. just.

-Charles and Dela have Zade tied to the altar and Dela rips Zade's shirt open a little. gotta complete the look.

-even though Mac is supposed to be getting ready to do the spell, his mind has wandered off to wondering what other fantasy things might be real like vampires and werewolves.

-Mac starts reciting the spell, but the thing is Mac doesn't know what he's saying. in fact, he explicitly told Dela he DOESN'T want to know what he's saying. how the fuck is this supposed to work if he's going about it like that? and if the spell is so dependent on him believing what he's saying, couldn't it be in a language Mac understands? I would think Dela of all people would understand how vital this is.

I also don't know why Dela can't do the spell. even if Mac is "responsible" for this backfire, wouldn't a powerful magic user be able to help with this matter? or is she just not that powerful?

-"Then he did the unthinkable." I mean idk, I've been thinking about stabbing Zade for a while.

-Zade then starts flailing like Kermit the Frog even though she had been tied down, the athame pinning her chest to the altar.

-and lightning strikes the athame and Zade falls back on the altar and coughs up blood. Mac doesn't know if this means everything worked or not because either Dela didn't explain that part to him when she explained Literally Everything Else or he wasn't paying attention. the narrative said he hadn't been told, but we know how that can lie.

-we now have to wait to see if Zade will be okay even though the readers already know she will be. Mac is frustrated by this because he's never had to deal with anxiety before even though he's a technical director on a Las Vegas show?

-while we wait, Charles calls the theater to give them an update. Mac worries people will ask too many questions, but Charles says that making people feel like they're in the loop on what's going on helps prevent that. so he's manipulating the situation. eh, I still don't think he's quite as bad as Zade or Dela, but it's still not great.

-also the narration assures us the cast and crew are frantic, something they were not when Sofia had her accident. or at least, they were not frantic about her and whether she would live.

-and we're tossing a bone to Jackson by mentioning Charles called him, too. did any of us even remember Jackson's in this book at this point?

-we're told that by the time Mac finally goes to sleep he had been up for almost two days straight. but I thought 48 hours had passed earlier when we were in the kitchen. shouldn't it be more than two days? or did Mac catch a nap on the plane to Tennessee? we've lost the thread of the timeline.

-the narration tells us Dela still looks the way she did when she was barely 18. we also got a detail earlier that there are family pictures of Dela and Zade in the house and Dela looks the same in all of them while Zade grows up. some people have hypothesized that, with Zade out of commission, Dela is the stand-in for author avatar. and, yeah, I can see Sarem doing that. once again the Salome vibes are strong.

-Dela is putting tarot cards down out of habit, not necessarily a spread but more as a way to fidget. this is fine, but then she says, "They won't cooperate and read on the situation at all." again, that doesn't make sense to me. the cards are going to have information on them no matter what, and you read and interpret that. it's possible to get a confusing reading, but one that gives you no information at all? that just doesn't register to me.

-Dela is frustrated because she's unable to do anything else to help and says, "This must be what it's like to be a mortal." that's such a weird thing for a fatalist to say. if you believe destiny is a thing, then wouldn't that go hand in hand with an acceptance that life is beyond your control?

-Charles and Dela take a moment to talk about Zade's love life because we can't forget what the book is really about. but Dela also says this event has set something bigger into motion. it is page 386 out of 413 and NOW you deign to ration out some plot to us?

-even though Dela and Zade are fatalists, Dela says Mac and Zade are not set in stone as a couple and that few things are meant to be. so which is it?????? do you believe in destiny or not??????

-now Charles is blaming himself for Zade nearly dying. bro, your daughter did not have to use the danger magic!! I doubt you wanted your daughter to use the danger magic! in fact, I remember from the conversation in Chapter 14 that you were worried about her using it.

the only thing I'll concede maybe being his fault on that is not trying to stop it back whenever it was suggested since they worked on this illusion for MONTHS.

-"He also felt as if he should have tried harder to be a part of my life even though he knew Dela had cast a spell to keep him away." so it wasn't even just him not being able to talk about Zade or admit to a connection between him and the Holders but actually a repellent? god, Dela is just getting worse and worse.

-"Out of all of his accomplishments he still believed I was by far the greatest and most wonderful thing he had done, despite his failures surrounding being a dad." oh. my. god. I absolutely hate this. all Charles did was bang Dela. that is no great feat. but calling what happened after "his failures surrounding being a dad" is insulting because Dela took away any chance for him to try! and then, when Zade finally IS back in his life, he just gives her a job in his show after a weak-ass audition. that's not setting Zade up for success, it's riding Daddy's coattails.

-it's here that Zade wakes up. I know you guys were really worried about whether she would make it or not, but she's awake now.

-Charles catches her up a little bit on the situation and informs her that Mac knows everything now. Zade is concerned that this will be the end of her not-a-relationship with Mac.

-and of course once Mac sees that Zade is awake he apologizes for his misunderstanding as a result of Zade lying by omission and his part in Zade almost dying because she used him to ground her magic without his informed consent. jesus fucking christ.

and the chapter ends there with Zade accepting Mac's apologies and his declaration that he will never question her motives again. holy shit.

[chickensarentcheap]

20 Questions For Writers

I was tagged by @illegalcerebral. Thank you! ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2, 449, 463

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Extraction and some John Wick

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Best Part of Me (Extraction)

Never Gonna Be Alone (Extraction)

I Found (Extraction)

Sanctuary (Extraction)

Lost and Found (Extraction and John Wick)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I definitely try to! Some people that comment, I already talk to in private messages and such, so I don't usually respond to them because of that.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of them have an angsty ending to be honest. LOL. The first one was supposed to have a really angsty one, because I was going to kill off my OC. That didn't go as planned and I kept her around and it's become a three year long series.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably a one shot I did. It was a very happy ending for Tyler ;) (it was pure smut)

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

It's been going on for three years now lol. I get people making throw away blogs to just to hate on me and my stuff. They also send hate about me to other people.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes. Lost and Found is an Extraction./John Wick crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few times, actually

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple times :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Many moons ago when I wrote for the CSI franchise. I wrote CSI:NY stuff and I partnered with someone who wrote CSI:Miami stuff.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

To be completely honest, I don't ship. Unless it's the ship I've created for my fics.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

That's gotta be Never Gonna Be Alone.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Characterization, world building, description. I think.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Writing action scenes. UGHHHHH. Which is weird considering the fandom I write for lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'd do it. There was a bit of Bengali in Best Part of Me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

CSI

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Sanctuary. But Lost and Found is a very close second!

No pressure tags: @munstysmind @themaradwrites @ninjasawakenedmystar @asirensrage @residentdormouse

[linktheacehero]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks @louwhose for the tag!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

24!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

41,102 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Zelda mostly.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tale of the White Devil (212)

I love you too (57)

My hands hold the dirt of where your bones lay (and my heart rests) (53)

Din's Fire (37)

Hold me close (in your arms) (35)

5.Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I love responding to comments!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm. I would say We'll see each other again since burial fic at least got a happy conclusion despite its angst lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Flow of Time I think. They're just so domestically happy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. Do you write smut?

No but I have written some slight spice.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! With @aheavenscorner for both Mask and Duet of Time (ch 2 is almost done we swear). And me and @louwhose wrote Sun's heart and Moon's tear's.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

If it isint obvious by now, its oot zelink lol.

15. What's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

HERO SHADE ZELDA. I have so many fucking thoughts of this au and concept and have written a snippet but man i have so many wips to work onnnn

16. What are your writing strenghts?

I want to say emotions and characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue and settings.

18. Thoughts on writing dialoge in another language for a fic?

absolutely!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Zelda

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh man uhhh, I gotta say its my vampire au fic "Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (and it's my love for you)". It was just so much fun to write and I might write more if i ever have time.

tagging @aheavenscorner, @pastelsandpining and @farore-or-less

[jaxsonschluter]

Idk if @boxedbats made this but just in case here’s where I found it

1. I usually just say I don’t have a favorite song bc it’s always changing but recently I’ve been listening to 1980’s horror film || by the wallows

2. Current fav fictional character(s) are Anakin Skywalker, Sam Monroe, and Dexter Morgan

3. 17!

4. Cap rising, Aqua sun and moon

5. Sarcastic is a personality type right?

6. Fav movie will always be corpse bride or ponyo

7. No I don’t play any sports, I’m really not all that sporty

8. Like I said idk who made the og so idk, I’m picky with who I let be my mutual

9. Fav food is sushi, fav drink is boba or Dr Pepper

10. Another one bites the dust by Queen

11. I actually don’t have a favorite painting, I’ve never really took the time to look for one that calls out to me despite loving art

12. That one Anakin Skywalker edit where he says “baby” on beat, it’s so good

13. Favorite season is either fall or summer

14. Fav thing to do when alone is to listen to music prob

15. Nara and Lucky Blue Smith

16. Flared jeans and anything leopard print are essentials in my closet

17. Favorite scent is vampire blood from bath and body works

18. I don’t really care about artists when it comes to the music/art they produce, so I don’t have a favorite artist but I listen to a lot of Lana Del Rey, Ayesha Erotica, Melanie Martinez and I have to listen to sir mix a lot at least once a day

19. I’m honestly scared to get more piercings bc idk if I’ll like having them but I love snakebites, eyebrow piercings, and tongue piercings :D as for tattoos I want to get a tattoo of a bat (on my hip) and at some point a back tattoo but I’m not sure of what? Maybe a spine

20. I don’t read a lot which is why the book section on my pinned is still empty, I want to read more… but for this I’ll just say Direwood by Catherine Yu because I actually read the whole book in 3? Days

21. MY FAV UNRELEASED LANA SONG IS GO GO DANCER

22. Friend told me that tumblr is basically just a bunch of neurodivergent people that have their own corners and get to talk about their interests

23. Fav Angel number is 444, I like the number 4

24. Favorite YouTube channel gotta be Kubz Scouts

25. I have too many favorite shows, I hyperfixate so my current hyperfixation is Dexter

26. Last picture I saved from Pinterest was this…💀

27. I don’t share my Pinterest account bc it’s too personal with my goals

28. Fav fashion era is 2000’s - 2010’s

29. Dream job is being an actor

30. My favorite colors are brown and purple

[mariki33]

PART 2

The Nordmark pod interview translated SWE-ENG

I have left out Per Nordmarks moments of reminiscence..

Please excuse things lost in translation and lack of knowledge in the English language 🙈

I also want to say that translation from spoken words to written can be quite challenging at times..

Enjoy fellow Ghostie's 👻🖤🇸🇪

T: -For my part it's very important. It was this, that was so fucking hard on that tour, i didn't get to have my days off. Days off,, you don't need them because you don't want to play, but to break the repetetiveness. On the level we are, in my regim and the way i want to do it i really feel we should do that. Mainly because we aren't 19 anymore. We are, we must keep up, we have to stay in shape to make it work. So when on the road there isn't much party and no more than to see to you're in shape and been sleeping enough. Stuff like that. A really good way to get out of shape is to get wasted drinking. It really makes you feel like shit.. It's fucking awesome a couple of days and the it's -Oh Fuck! But instead it can be really good to, it's gold when you have TWO days off, Then we always do it like this, the few times we have two days off. It doesn't happen often but when it does we always have a tour crew party. The first day so everyone get a day off after. It's very important.

……

…

T :No people tend to think it's like travelling. Like a vacation. And it isn't', It really isn't, and i believe, when you're not in a touring band or a professional like that. I think you have a vision that being a professional musician and touring a lot ,is like, creative,, -And it isn't. It's kind of repetitive. There are creative periods..-And of course you can have creative moments when ever. And I, I come up with ideas all the time, building for the next step or figure out something new. But the "work" in itself is repetetive.

….

N: Its not like, write a bunch of new songs on tour.

T: I can't do it like an obligation.

…

T: I think one may do yourself a disservice.. Have you ever brought a book to read on tour and ended up not reading it? It's classical and i've done it so many times, and eventually figured out, -I won't do that. I pack lighter and simplify things. And in that same fashion i plan my days now. It's based on me,, all the time, is here to work. The, my days off now.. One thing i do, and i like really much, when i have free time, and come to cities i've been to for several times, and especially when you have mate there, then the best thing is to visit them in their home. Or, just hanging out with someone "sightseeing" with someone who knows the town. Or, have a friend flown in and make a "tourist thing" together, a side step.

Because then you'll Moon walk in the the next day and -Fuck Yeah! Let's do this!!

…

…..

One thing! I give can you a tip. Now, someone who do professional soccer or Soccer in general. Correct me if i'm wrong. But, one thing i always do, especially if i feel a bit down in the dumps for some reason. It's like, in the dressing room i put You Tube on. And put on a video with something you're sure of made you want do to what you do. You know..Like: " Let's spend the night together".. Queen live, you know, Wembley -85/-86. Like that! Something that makes you OUUHAHH !!! Then i remember my dream and how far i am. And i've thought of this when it comes to soccer or hockey, or whatever. Like -"Do you ever play a compilation of"… Well, kids of today what do they like, closest to it gotta be "Zlatan".. Because, our generation it would be "Maradona" or.. "Don't you play a compilation of his greatest goals"? -No, never.. -"Why not!! It's ga ga ga, It's that, that is the dream. Damit! Like "Iniesta" scoring the last goal, last second, and wins the whole thing. That's the whole idea with this. I believe! ( "who never played soccer").. Or Freddie Mercury Wembley -85 or -86 It's the whole idea with why i want do this. So you have to remind yourself of the of the dream.. -Then i'm back on track.

…..

..

N: Did you ever doubt if you ended up in the right place?

T: Eh, ahh,, In connection to being part of "Crash Diet" (or the Crash Diet that we were part of, that was something different than it became later) my world opened up. I grew up with, with very melodic music like . Ehh, i went, it was a mix and came from a mixed, but everything have always came out of rock. But A lot of Pop radio and all that it was in the eighties, and like, the legacy of the seventies eem, Then it was my brothers music. He listened to everything from Hard Rock, Ee. to punk and synth, and a lot of stuff. And then there was my moms sixties influence. So when i had been digging around in death metal and black metal in almost ten years,, -Yes when i was 22 i'd been doing death metal since i was 12. So for ten years nurturing a dream. If I'll be completely honest with my dream for Repugnant it was to,, It was "old school death", but i thought i somewhere, it would be possible to make it a "thing" or something. I thought, if [Tobias mentions a couple of band names, can't hear what i says] can do it. Or Pestilence or the fuck, others. I thougt we'd be signed with Road Runner going on tour supporting Slayer. Like, i wanted to become a real band. There were so many bands before us that had made it.. And i couldn't understand why we were ..But we was so extremely out of date, we didn't work in the era we where in, in the end of the nineties. So, in the beginning of the twenties, i was about 20 then, it started to show up a lot of "rock stuff" Both in Sweden, it was sort of rock, its hard, to without sounding harsh but i don't mean anything by it, but like action rock, easy rock and all that. In 2000-02 And there was the strikes and Frans Ferdinand and all that happened. So i went like, -The fuck, wait! Like i also want to play melodic music too. Because i have it im me. Eh mm.. And it was like tricky in the beginning. I met David Hellman, or Dave Leppard. Ehm..and he also wanted to play rock eeh.. and then it showed he wanted to do sleezy rock, While i was more like…My sleeze taste, i definitely don't mind the seventies glam rock, and i like Guns 'n' roses, but, but Aeeh, and Skidrow will do, But then There are a lot of stuff definitely! don't like. And he really wanted to go all in on Poison, Some of Stryper and a lot of other stuff and shit that i absolutely didn't like. So i felt in someway that i can't do this. This is not. And on top of that, it was his band and i .. Nope, fuck it!.And then i strarted a pretty long experimental phase of not really finding my way home..

…..

…

N: Asking about Onkel Konkel..

T : No, it was only three gigs

N: How did that happen?

T: Thomas the drummer from Repugnant, and at the time also Crash Diet and Subvision. Thomas was one of my best buddies and we played in several bands together. I remember it something like this -Thomas, you right me if i'm wrong. Because i might be. But i recall it something like this. Bengtsson, all ours Bengtsson from Cafe 44, came up to him like -"Du you want to play in Onkel Konkel". And he told me this story. And i , what the hell .. I also want in. So, well, Thomas told them i said that -"So you can come to the next rehearsal" And they probably just done one before. And then Bengtsson had put together a band for Håkan. Who then would act in these three gigs that were booked

N: And that was the only gigs..?

T: Yes, the only gig before that was in Hultsfred -93

N: Was there a gig before "Sondtrack of our lives".. bc one of the gigs were on " Nalen"

T: Yes, its very possible Soundtrack played the day before or after..

N: I've heard somewere you're in to horror movies. Old horror movies.?

T: Yes, Yeah

N:,Have you been inspired by film music aswell?

T: Very much, absolutely. And, well i don't know how to elaborate that, umm, To me, besides me liking, i'm interested in cinematic in general. But i got stuck early, for different reasons, for different horror movies. Once again I'll have to explain it by me having a pretty liberal upbringing. A very liberal home where there weren't any actual rules, more like guide lines. But you know it was the eighties,, And it worked with just a note from my mom to show at the video store. And then i could rent anything i wanted.

…..

…. ….

T: I'm VERY afraid of the dark. Regretfully i am, and i was so early on.

….

… ..

T: But if one should try looking at it with a " the glass is half full"l perspective. It's probably all about having a vivid imagination. And the critical thought in it all would be one watching to much and that it started it all, but I'm not sure .. There were a heck of a lot of delusions long before horror movies was a thing. Like, read "All the creatures of the woods" That people have made up totally uninfluenced by horror movies. So i believe one have a relatively elastic mind. And just aswell as one can come up with a funny joke or something, one also have the possibility to go down the dark corridor, make it something creepy.

Even if realistically i understand it probably isn't something out there, in the woods…

….to be continued

[bryan360]

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….

(NO COPYING OR PLAGIARIZING FROM ME AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIEND’S WORK! THAT INCLUDES OUR CHARACTERS, DESIGNS, STUFF, ETC. IMPOSTERS AND SEXBOTS ARE NOT WELCOME TO FOLLOW MY BLOG WHATSOEVER! 😡 That will be all….I mean it.)

“Day 28: Five Nights 🐰🤖🍕”

I’d never been interested of “Five Nights at Freddy’s” franchise nor planning of getting some games on either consoles. That said, it still remain popular to fans and young kids who grown up liking an horror-style series; especially when digging through so many lores. You can asked through “MatPat”’s YT Channel to cover that (if you want for your choice).

So on behalf; especially for its movie adaptation now on theaters since yesterday, thought I’d bringing for today’s Inktober share that I’m thankfully finished in time.

Gotta hand for having a Maxwell animatronic drawing concept. Really bring out his sinister look if he was a soul of a crazed rabbit kid; to put out for revenge on bullies who messing with him after stuffing on the animatronic’s mouth. Too much, though?

(BTW, I originally wanted to add more of the animatronics for Maxwell’s other friends. Due to time constraints, I’d rather have just one for my main rabbit character.)

Maxwell (as alternative version of the animatronic himself) created by me; BryanVelasquez87 (Bryan360)

Tagged: @murumokirby360 @carmenramcat @alexander1301 @rafacaz4lisam2k4 @paektu

Previous: ⬇️

“Day 1: Looney 🐰🔨” - Link Here #1

“Day 2: Imposters 🕷️👉👈🕷️” - Link Here #2

“Day 3: Wild 🌲🐶” - Link Here #3

“Day 4: Thief 🐰💰” - Link Here #4

“Day 5: Moon 🌙🎣” - Link Here #5

“Day 6: Love 🐰❤️🐲” - Link Here #6

“Day 7: Dogs 😣🐶” - Link Here #7

“Day 8: Shake🥤☠️” - Link Here #8

“Day 9: Act ☎️ 🤹‍♀️” - Link Here #9

“Day 10: Pirate 🏴‍☠️🗡️” - Link Here #10

“Day 11: Shadows 🔦🙌”  - Link Here #11

“Day 12: Baddies 🚘 🎃” - Link Here #12

“Day 13: Transform 🪵💨” - Link Here #13

“Day 14: Bad Hair 💇‍♀️😱” - Link Here #14

“Day 15: Phantom 👻🦸🏻‍♂️” - Link Here #15

“Day 16: Fighters 😈👊💥” - Link Here #16

“Day 17: Ninjas 🌃🥷” - Link Here #17

“Day 18: Grim 💀🐑” - Link Here #18

“Day 19: Hill 🩻❤️👩‍🦰” - Link Here #19

“Day 20: Fury 🐢🔥⛈️” - Link Here #20

“Day 21: Farm 👩‍🌾🛸🥦” - Link Here #21

“Day 22: Magic 🐰🪄🎩” - Link Here #22

“Day 23: Smile 🐰👩‍🍳😈” - Link Here #23

“Day 24: Arcade 🕹️🦁🗡️” - Link Here #24

“Day 25: Camp 🐿️🐶🔥” - Link Here #25

“Day 26: Pets 🎧😌🎃” - Link Here #26

“Day 27: Lantern 🐱🏮⬛️” - Link Here #27

[she-karev]

Reuniting with Andrew (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev's Sister Angst)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Two of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy/Station 19

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

Canon Episode: Season 16 Episode 19/Season 3 Episode 15

Summary: Amber continues to connect with Wren while Alex gives Andrew a special welcome back. Later she finds out that Jackson was shot while working the PRT. That night she gets a surprise visit at Jackson’s penthouse.

Words: 3441

The pit is less crowded than it was before with 12 of the beds occupied by first responders including Wren. Amber inhales to keep her emotions under control before going to Wren’s bed where she is still waiting for her cast.

“Hey sorry I was gone for so long I had an unexpected collision but I am here now and ready to put your cast on.”

Wren gives a knowing grin, “I remember where I know you from, it took a while but I figured it out while you were gone.” Amber looks interested while taking the supplies out, “The Outlier last week.”

Amber takes a moment before recollecting, “Ah! I remember that was the guy who choked on the steak frites. PRT was in the neighborhood and I had to do an emergency tracheotomy on site.”

“Yes!” Wren smiles, “My team arrived five minutes later, I was the driver but I saw you in the rear-view mirror throwing your gloves away like it was a normal day and you didn’t cut a guy’s throat open at a restaurant. I can’t believe how normal you acted after.”

Amber grins proudly, “Well you know I do tracheotomy’s here in a sterile room it only feels slightly weird when there’s a waiter next to you asking if a customer would like a drink. Plus, I got pretty used to operating inside a truck next to fires so this was just a walk in the park. Okay this is the part where you hate me, we gotta reset the wrist.”

Wren inhales and sits up, “Let’s get this over with.” Amber positions them to reset the wrist. Amber grasps the broken bone and counts to three before quickly snapping it in place causing Wren to groan in pain.

“I told you; you would hate me. The hard part is over now comes the fun part, putting your cast on.” Amber pulls out a sock for the first layer, “So the tracheotomy was fine by your standards as a paramedic?”

“Hell yeah, you handled that like a boss. The doctor at Seattle Pres told us you pretty much took care of half the work for them.”

Amber snorts as she puts the sock over the arm, “It wouldn’t be different from any other day doing their work for them. Don’t tell them I said that you know how fragile doctors egos can be, I’m speaking as one.”

Wren groans, “I know, I keep saying it’s a real coincidence their closed to trauma during a storm or a blizzard or a full moon.”

Amber chuckles, “Lucky were not a superstitious bunch then. Okay I’m gonna apply the gauze next you shouldn’t feel a thing.”

Wren lies still as she holds her injured arm out for Amber to wrap the gauze around, “So what was the collision?”

“Huh?”

“You said you had an unexpected collision that caused you to be late, was it a surgery or something?”

Amber groans under her breath, “Or something.” Amber looks up and sees Wren giving a ‘tell me more’ look. Normally she would resist telling a stranger about her relationship problems but for some reason she feels safe enough to talk to Wren. Maybe it’s because for the first time in weeks she made her feel good about herself unlike Andrew who made her feel like crap. Plus it doesn’t hurt that Wren looks beautiful even covered in soot. Amber clears her throat to start, “I ran into my ex-boyfriend while he was visiting. It was the first time I’ve seen him since he had a mental breakdown, lashed out at me, quit his job here and left without so much as a call back.”

Wren winces from that story instead of the fracture, “Ouch and how did you react?”

“I told him I wasn’t gonna be around for him to use as a verbal punching bag and that if he came to his senses not to come crawling back to me. It’s safe to say I made an impressive scene.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Amber rolls another layer of gauze around the arm, “I’ve had some pretty bad relationships myself, not crazy like yours but ones that left me with a bruised heart. It sucks.”

“It really does especially when you bought an apartment together and he kicked you out.”

“Damn and it gets worse. Are you staying with someone?”

“My friend, he has a penthouse with more than enough room and thick walls so I can cry my eyes out. And I don’t care that he gets the apartment he could burn it down for all I care and he could be inside and I’m pretty sure I would jump in joy. Nope forward march.”

Wren grins, “That is very admirable, most people would be a mess for weeks after that disaster rollercoaster.”

Amber takes out the red fiberglass, “Well I’m not most people.”

“I can tell and I can also tell that guy is the biggest idiot in the world to let a strong, smart and badass woman like you go.” Amber looks at her touched by her compliment before taking the scissors out.

Meanwhile

Andrew DeLuca walks down the hall rubbing his eyes and feeling worse after what Amber said. He’s letting it get to him and letting it sink in that a woman he loved is so angry at him she doesn’t care how she hurts him as long as he is. It makes him feel guilty but he ignores it as he heads down the hall to the library to figure out what’s wrong with Richard. He feels someone tapping his shoulder. He turns around and is met with a hard punch to the face causing him to tumble down.

“What the hell!” He looks up and sees that the person who punched him is none other than Alex Karev who stares at him with more fury than he did the first night he assaulted him. Andrew quickly stands up and looks both afraid and angry at Alex’s reaction.

Alex inhales and exhales before simply saying, “That’s for my sister.” Alex turns around and walks away from DeLuca who only looks on in shock before snapping out of it and heading to his destination with a throbbing left eye.

Later

Amber snaps off the fiberglass and presents the red cast around Wren’s arm, “Voila!”

“Nice it looks cool; do you want to be the first to sign it?”

Amber chuckles takes out her sharpie, “Sure what do you want it to say?”

“Maybe a get well and maybe a phone number that’s real?” Amber looks at her startled and Wren catches on, “Oh god sorry that was way too forward. I just thought we had this connection while we were talking and I know you’re going through a rough time right now and I am not taking advantage of you I’m not. I just thought you could use a night where you don’t cry to death and maybe get a drink with a paramedic who thinks your super-hot and cool and should let you know that for once. And you can step in anytime to make me not look like a babbling fool.”

Amber grins, “Um…I can leave you my number on the cast and you can call me later once I’ve thought about it.”

Wren grins, “I will take that.” Amber smiles and writes her name and number on the cast unaware of Qadri and Casey looking interested from the station.

“How does she do that?” Qadri asks perplexed, “When I get dumped, I lie in bed for months with tubs of ice cream meanwhile she gets a hot first responder. I want a hot first responder.”

Casey snorts, “Me too.”

Amber walks to the station with a smile on her face getting scandalous looks from her friends causing her suspicion, “What?”

“Oh nothing.” Qadri answers with a grin, “We just can’t help but notice you getting cozy with that paramedic whose arm you patched up, who is she?”

“Her name is Wren and we were not getting cozy, I was just signing her cast.”

“With your phone number?” Amber turns to Casey who has a grin too, “Hey life is short and you deserve good things Karev I am not judging here. Let me know if she has a brother or sister.”

Qadri steps in, “Brother for me if you can or a cousin or rich, old uncle I don’t care.”

Amber chuckles, “Okay it was nothing she asked me out for drinks and I said I would think about it.”

“What is there to think about?” Dahlia asks, “She’s cute, she’s a first responder, she’s queer, ask her out.”

Amber groans at the simple explanation, “I am fresh out of a 2-year relationship that ended in an explosion that left me alone in my best friends’ apartment.”

Dahlia looks shameful, “Okay fair.”

Amber remembers something, “Speaking of which, where is Avery? He and Warren should’ve been here an hour ago with the guy who attacked that girl, Darcie.”

Schmitt hears her and goes to them with a remorseful face, “Um Dr. Warren called just now and told us that he lost a patient.”

“No big loss there after you tried to rape a girl.” Casey coldly states.

“Also, there was a possible GSW on the scene.”

Amber is so shocked she looks at him blankly and asks in a numb voice, “A what?”

Later

Amber gowns up and runs to the ambulance bay with Schmitt and Bailey to attend to the GSW brought in by the ambulance. Amber is hoping it’s a random patient and not the guy who is pretty much the reason she is still standing right now. Her fears come true however as she sees Jackson inside the ambulance on a gurney with gauze around his leg that is covered in blood.

“Avery? You're the GSW?”

Amber asks them in a frustrated tone, “What the hell happened?”

“It's an extremely long story.”

Jackson dismisses Ben’s comment, “It’s really not that long. Junkie held us up for drսgs and then shot me.”

“With a gun?” Schmitt asks in shock, causing Amber to glare at him for his idiocy.

“Yes, with a gun, Schmitt.” Amber growls under breath following Jackson to trauma one, “Okay, my tourniquet's been on like 20 minutes. Page Dr. Lincoln and Dr. Hunt it’s a through and through on the calf.”

“Get him to trauma one.” Amber is still angry at Jackson and tears at him while the paramedics wheel him in, “One day I leave you alone for one day and you get shot! Are you trying to make me have a heart attack?!”

Jackson winces at the yelling and they enter the trauma room, “Your absolutely right Amber I should have thought twice before letting a junkie try and rob me before getting shot in the leg. How could I be so cruel to you?”

Amber gets angrier with his sarcasm, “Boy I am gonna kick your ass once you get that leg healed up.”

“As long as you don’t do it while we check his injuries.” Link tells her as he enters the room with Hunt, “What do we got?”

Amber stops and informs them, “GSW on the calf bullet went through. There was bleeding but a tourniquet was applied on the scene.”

Hunt looks at the injury, “No infection. Our O.R.’s are booked so we’re gonna debride in here.”

“My lucky day.” Jackson sarcastically says with Amber pinching the bridge of her nose still pissed at him.

Link catches on, “Hey Karev we got this how about you go out and take care of the pit and we’ll update you as soon as we can.”

“I’m not leaving.” Amber tells him with a frown, “I’ve barely made a dent in scolding this idiot.”

“Which is why you need to go.” Hunt points out sternly, “Now we need a quiet and calm space to work here and quite frankly you are the opposite right now so please leave.”

Amber inhales and exhales for a moment before pointing her finger at Jackson with a glare, “We’re not done talking about this.” Amber snaps off her gloves turning to the orthopedic and trauma surgeon, “Let me when I can visit him post op.” Amber throws away her gown and gloves in a huff returning to the pit leaving Jackson behind who looks at Hunt and Link with a pleading face.

“Any chance you guys can sedate her before she visits me?” Hunt and Link grin and get ready to debride.

Later

After finally finishing her shift Amber was going to confront Jackson but decided to sleep on it with renewed energy for tomorrow. She walks down the hall to check on Dr. Webber and as she expected her brother Alex is at the station looking at his tablet in torment, no doubt anguished at seeing his teacher and friend in such a dwindling state. Amber sighs at the sight before approaching her oldest brother.

“Hey how’s it going on your end?”

Alex chuckles bitterly, “Oh just my boss and friend who was the main reason I evolved into a successful surgeon and decent human being from my first day as an arrogant intern coming back from the O.R. where his hallucinations almost caused him to slice open his own stomach with a scalpel. It’s just your regular Thursday.”

Despite his nonchalant tone Amber can tell that he is struggling the same way Meredith is but like her is trying to mask it. Meredith, Jo and Amber are the only people in the hospital who can see the pain behind his eyes and are the source of comforts he so clearly needs right now. Amber takes the initiative and puts her hand on his shoulder in a comforting notion.

“We’re gonna figure this out. It’s not a hope it’s a fact he’s got some of the brightest people in there working tooth and nail to get a damn diagnosis and fix him.”

Alex nods, “Yeah, I know. I just feel like I should be doing something, maybe I should’ve gotten into neuro or general then I would be useful.”

“Alex you’re a smart guy but you’re no Dr. House, there’s nothing you can do in this situation except be there for support. God knows he’s gonna need it.” Alex still looks tormented and Amber can guess where his head is at, “Nobody caught this until the conference. All of us thought he was depressed and the events of his life recently, strange behavior would be common. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

Alex sighs, “Jo gave me the same speech this morning, it didn’t work. I’ve known him for years and yeah stuff happened but he never reacted like this.” Alex’s face shifts to anger, “I wish I could yell at Catherine for leaving him and buying Pac North out of sheer spite. If that didn’t happen maybe we would question why he was deteriorating and catch this thing sooner before it caused him to make a scene in front of the whole medical community.”

“I don’t know if it’s good or bad you shifted from blaming yourself to blaming Catherine. We’re all frustrated Alex and yeah maybe if Catherine didn’t do those things, we wouldn’t be so quick to depression but what happened happened. All we can do is set the blame aside and help Webber, he needs that more than he needs you to point fingers.”

Alex looks at Amber in thought, “Look at you being the stable and wise sibling.”

Amber shrugs, “I have my moments like you, just like we both have moments of being volatile and punching certain residents in the middle of the hallway.”

“Do not expect me to apologize for that.” Alex quickly defends, “And don’t expect me to sit idle by while the guy who kicked my sister to the streets crying walks down the hall like he didn’t do anything wrong. You and I both know if it was Izzie or Ava or Lucy here today instead of DeLuca you would…punch them in the noses so bad they send Avery for a consult.”

Amber scoffs, “I…” She tries to defend herself but she knows as well as him how vengeful she can be, “would.”

Alex grins for the first time that day and chuckles while clarifying, “You totally would.”

Amber also chuckles, “Yeah I would.” They suddenly burst out laughing over that statement for a few moments before they calm down with both of them still smiling. Amber exhales in amusement, “We Karev’s really can pick them huh?”

Alex snorts, “If it makes you feel better, I raise your one crazy boyfriend with four girlfriends who left me, had a nervous breakdown or both.”

Amber pats his hand in comfort, “Thanks. It doesn’t.”

Alex sighs at his sister’s pain, “Are you okay?”

Amber clears her throat, “I’m fine I’ve handled worse nuclear explosions and learned how to walk away from pain I didn’t sign up for. Remember I did that with mom and you if you recall.”

Alex looks down in shame over his attempts to ignore his sister in her time of need, “Sorry I’m on that list kid.”

“Well, the important thing is you’re not anymore, in fact you, Jackson and Jo are pretty much my main tethers to sanity right now. And you don’t have to fight my battles for me, I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, I know but my barbarian big brother instincts come out, I have no control over them like you have no control over your passive aggressive little sister tendencies.” They grin at their somewhat similar personalities, “Seriously kid if you need someone to give him a kick in the ass he deserves I’m here to deliver. Just tell me when and where chief.”

Amber chuckles, “I appreciate that but I don’t want you to go to jail and repeat that damn period of your life again. You wouldn’t survive jail and I wouldn’t survive your wife’s wrath when she realizes this goes back to me giving you the kill codes.”

Alex nods understanding, “Yeah Jo looks sweet but she is a killer. The offer still stands, let me know when you change your mind.”

“I will but for now I am going to change, head home, watch Law and Order reruns with some of Jackson’s expensive scotch and then hit the sack. Send me any updates on Webber and Jackson, I’ll see you in the morning.”

That Night

Amber slumps on the couch in Jackson’s living room ready to pass out before she can visit her friend once he’s out of the woods. She feels less angry now and more worried about Jackson. When she was told someone was shot in the PRT her mind went into overdrive imagining every case where Jackson was the one who was shot. Most of those scenarios ended with him dead on the scene and her being forced to grieve her best friend who gave her a home when she had nowhere else to go.

The thought of losing someone she considers a brother shakes her to her core and makes her want to strangle that junkie that shot him. The fact that it was a junkie makes her even more furious because that could have been her father with a gun, holding up an ambulance for drugs not caring who he hurts. It felt like her dad was haunting her from the grave wanting to make her suffer again. She sips the expensive scotch Jackson keeps locked away in the liquor cabinet. She can taste nutmeg and citrus in the rich mixture making her grateful Jackson doesn’t skimp on the drinks. She discharged Wren after the trauma room with Jackson and she left knowing Amber is in a sour mood and needs to focus on work. Amber is too tired to check her phone for messages from Wren because she is still conflicted on whether to take her out or not. As she is about to reach for the remote a knock on the door stops her up. She groans at the bad timing but gets up and goes to the door. She looks in through the peephole and the sight of who is on the other side catches her by surprise. A second knock snaps her out of it and she opens the door. April Kepner is standing on the other side with a smile on her face carrying Harriet in a stroller. Her smile drops quickly when she sees it was Amber answering the door expecting Jackson instead.

Next Part Here