#granted!! i have written him as a book before (yes an actually genuine library book don’t ask)

[rosaacicularis]

1950s/outsiders!scarian with Scar as a soc and Grian as an outsider(bad boy) and they have a meet-cute at the local diner, Grian ends up scoring a date with Scar and heads to the clockers house on his motorcycle to pick up Scar and then they have the most stereotypical americana date of going to the movies(maybe a drive-in theatre) and head for milkshakes after

i’ve never consumed any media pertaining to outsiders, but this is so real… they would absolutely share a little milkshake and they’d be so gay and in love!!

[glitterge1pen]

To Wake Up To A Mailbox Filled With Letters Only From You

Iwaizumi Hajime x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 2,071

It was driving him insane. The notes, envelopes, and pieces of paper started appearing at his desk on February 1st. They were tucked away in the cubby and made him incredibly nervous. Whoever was doing this to him was going to really, really make him lose it.

It was nice knowing that someone liked him. Even if he didnt know who it was, it was a good feeling. The only downside was that he had to keep this from you and Oikawa for as long as he possibly could. You two were Iwaizumi’s best friends yes of course, but this was too much.

If Oikawa found out he would stop at nothing to figure out who it was, the teasing would be brutal. If you found out? Iwaizumi didn't want you to think that he had feelings for anyone else, even if you werent dating he didn't want to put that idea into your head. Not only that but anytime romance or dating was brought up with you around he got nervous. Even watching Ryan Gosling movies with you was incredibly difficult. The conversation felt like walking on landmines when it came to yours or his love life.

The first day it was a purple foam heart the size of his palm. Covered in stickers, glitter glue, and in the center was a picture of him playing volleyball. It was from the stands, he could tell the photo had been zoomed in, but he was up in the air on the court. There was no message on the note other than some sharpie bubble letters that said “hottie”, he didn't really pay attention to it. He assumed it was Oikawa messing with him like usual. But when Oikawa made no mention of it he knew that it wasn't his friend.

That night at home he tucked the heart into his desk drawer. He lay in bed trying to imagine who would have made such a thing for him. Since it had been in those somehow taunting bubble letters he couldn't decipher it by handwriting. He did think the “hottie” thing was funny though. The list of people who could have left him the silly little message rattled in his mind.

He knew that he wanted it to be you. He wanted you to do something cheesy, cute, and cliche like that for him. For you to like him so much that it wouldn't bother you to do things like that. It would be your nature to give him gifts and say stupid things to him that made him laugh, that made his chest feel warm.

The next day he was surprised to see another note. He managed to slip it into the cover of his notebook without anyone seeing. It took everything in him not to peek at it during that first class. He knew for sure now that it wasn't Oikawa because they had walked to school together that morning.

It was during lunch that Iwaizumi took out the note to look at it. He had went out to grab drinks at the vending machine. Away from the prying eyes of his friends he opened the front of his notebook. This second card was much more traditional in style. Red construction paper, with white frilly lace on the edge, a mostly straight line of glitter glue outlining the heart.

This one had a picture of a bunny and text that read “some bunny loves you” , another picture of him had been doodled on so he had bunny ears and whiskers. This picture was not from volleyball and he couldn't remember where it had been taken. It was a little creepy but he cared more about who was sending these to him.

The following day he was looking forward to going to school. He wanted to see if he got another note. Even if he didnt know who was sending these, it did feel nice to know that someone could be interested in him. He had spent many valentines sharing the fruits of Oikawa's good looks. It was a good feeling to know that he could receive the same type of attention.

He did get a store bought card that day. It had a picture of a bumble bee and it read "bee my valentine and you won't get stung. A piece of candy had been taped inside the card. After that it was a cootie-catcher with all kinds of pick up lines buried in its folds. There were two more hand made cards that were covered in stickers, shiny tape, glitter and gel pen.

It was halfway to Valentine's day now. Iwaizumi woke up on the seventh of February wondering what type of card he would get. None of the other cards he had gotten helped him decipher who was sending these to him. It was once again at lunch that Iwaizumi snuck off to peak at what had been left to him. Today it had been a plain white envelope with a heart sticker sealing it shut.

Iwaizumi was expecting another bad pick up line but was instead met with an actual typed up letter. Whoever had written this actually, genuinely, liked Iwaizumi. He had this dumbfounded swirling feeling in his stomach. One of dread and excitement. Because he knew exactly what the letter was saying. The letter was true to the way he felt about you. And this letter wasnt from him to you. He didn't know who had written this.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he had not seen Oikawa and Hanamaki run up behind him.

"What is this?"

Oikawa's voice had a mischievous ring to it and before Iwaizumi can properly respond the envelope had already been taken from him. His fingers ghosted the traces of the paper, trying to grab it back but missing it by inches. Hanamaki put his arms around his shoulders locking him into place. Iwaizumi was more desperate now as he tried hurling insults at Oikawa.

"Oh my god, oh my fucking god"

The look Oikawa had on his face was of pure joy. A smile spread over his face and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Who wrote it! Come on tell me who your new lover is"

Oikawa sung that last part. But now Hanamaki was interested in the letter and upon reading it he had the same reaction.

"I don't know who wrote it"

Hanamaki scoffed.

"What are you kidding?"

Iwaizumi looked at his friend confused. But Oikawa launched into a rapid fire question session with Iwaizumi.

"Wait you're telling me you have been getting these for a whole week now and you didn't say anything to me! Your dearest friend!"

Oikawa feigned injury at this, falling back into Iwaizumi as they walked.

"I didn't want to deal with it, plus I don't know who is writing these and maybe they don't want anyone else to know"

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You had been doing your best to not tip off Iwaizumi that it was you leaving him the notes. But you were rather disappointed at his lack of reaction. You didn't expect him to suddenly be walking around like a love sick fool but he appeared no different to you. You still walked home with him and Oikawa, you had eaten lunch a few times since, everything was the same.

It was after school and you were waiting outside the gym for Iwaizumi and Oikawa. On days they had practice you hung around in the library finishing up homework or browsed through the books. The door to the gymnausm swung open, you greeted Hanamaki but were halted by the extra devilish grin he had. You roll your eyes, pretending to be annoyed by his antics.

"What did you do now?"

You ask teasingly.

"Me? I haven't done anything"

He was faking innocence.

"Really?"

You say, raising an eyebrow.

"It's funny though, because, I think thats its you whos been up to no good"

You're taken aback not sure what he's getting at. He drops the sarcasm for a second letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I know about Iwaizumi"

You pull on his arm leading him further away from the gym.

"Did he tell you it was me? Does he know? He hasn't said anything-"

He cuts you off.

"Slow down, that idiot is way too dense to know you like him back"

Hanamaki covers his mouth at that, knowing it wasn't something he was supposed to reveal to you. But you lit up at his words.

"He likes me back? But you said he doesnt know whos writing the notes"

"That's because he liked you before you wrote him that letter...wait did you say notes? There's more than one?"

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment. So you explained what you had been doing. The notes for each day. The entire time you spoke Hanamaki had an expression that was somewhere between disbelief and bemusement. You were about to ask Hanamaki about Iwaizumi some more when said boy walked out from the gym.

You let go of Hanamakis wrist, not realizing you had been holding onto him for so long, to wave at your other two friends. They started to approach you but you waved them off.

“Go on ahead I’ll catch up!”

You turn to Hanamaki once again. More serious than before.

“How did you know it was me?”

“You help me out with essays all the time, that letter you wrote him sounds exactly like you”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The next day Iwaizumi was not able to focus. He had received a bouquet of suckers and lollipops. Each adorned with sharpie and a terribly corny phrase like “99% Angel” or “Lover Boy”. Oikawa had of course taken one of these for himself. Saying that Iwaizumi owed him. They were walking home without you today, you said you had needed to help Hanamaki with some homework. But that was exactly what had been bothering Iwaizumi .

The night before when you and his friend had been out in the dusk alone. Your hand on his wrist. You looked flustered, and Iwaizumi could only recall a few other times you had been blushing so intensely. What had you been talking about with him? It was driving him crazy that he didn't know, that you were off with him now.

“Where are the rest of them?”

Oikawa asked, grabbing at Iwaizumi's bag. Iwaizumi pulled out another sucker from his coat pocket but Oikakwa was not satisfied.

“No, the rest of the valentines cards and letters, I wanna see them, you can't hide those from me forever”

Wide eyed Iwaizumi doesn't know what to do or say.

“Those are private property”

But Oikawa knows his friend well, and it was not long before his request was granted. Reluctant and embarrassed Iwaizumi allows Oikawa to shuffle through his desk drawer where he has stashed his paper treasure. Oikawa of course photographs everything. When he reaches for the one valentine with the bunny pun he stops.

“Isn't this photo from that movie night we had a couple months ago?”

“What? No way it was only me, you and…”

His words stayed caught as whispers in his mouth. Oikawa was right. It was hard to tell because the white wall behind Iwaizumi in the photo could have been so many places, but he did remember wearing that shirt. You took that photo. It was you.

“Hey, you know you have to make them a card now right?”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You and Hanamaki had been trying to sort out some sort of a plan. You were originally going to confess to Iwaizumi face to face on Valentine's day. But you wanted to do it immediately now. You didn't want to drag anything out or confuse Iwaizumi by not telling him that it was you. There was only one more day until Valentine's day and you couldn't decide if it was worth the wait anymore.

The morning was brisk and a bit cold. You were shedding off your coat, opening your locker you saw an unfamiliar shade of pink. It was a paper heart. Similar to the ones you had made for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi. You recognized his handwriting. It read;

I feel the same. Meet me after school tomorrow to talk. Can I call it a date if we get food? Check yes or no.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: Did I plan this out at all? No. Did I edit this at all? Also no. But this idea was rattling around in my brain and I needed to get it out. Its a little Jem and The Holograms with the whole “omg surprise its me the person you're in love with and also the person who flirts with you a lot and makes you confused” ALSO I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END THIS ONE????? so sorry if its more muddled than usual

[popculturebuffet]

Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life Review

Happy Birthday To Me, as I continue my birthday celebration by taking a look at comics that have a personal connection to me.. And for our main feature, i’m taking a look at the first volume of a series that was vitally important to a teenage me, Scott Pilgrim. 

Scott Pilgrim is the brainchild of Brian Lee’O’Malley. O’Malley came up with the concept from a number of things. Being a fan of the band Plumtree, O’Malley was curious about the name of their song “Scott Pilgrim” and wondered who this Scott Pilgrim guy was. So over the years he slowly built the guy up in the back of his mind using bits of his life and what not. As for why he ends up fighting 7 evil exes, that came from a discussion with his then girlfriend, later wife and currently ex-wife Hope Larson, where he threw off the joke that her exes should form some kind of League. After finishing his first solo work Lost at Sea, O’Malley decided Scotty would be his next project and the rest is history. To date while O’Malley has written two works since, Seconds which is delightful and Snotgirl which didn’t grab me but I intend to try again, Scott remains his most popular work, in large part due to it’s SUBLIME video game and movie adaptations, the former of which is finally getting a rerelease next month. 

The series charm is in it’s style: A manga styled comic that combines two desperate kinds of story: Shonen Fight Manga and Slice of Life Indie Comics. The story shifts from Scott going through normal life stuff while trying to make his new relationship work and get his shit together and Scott getting into big bombastic fights with his new sweetie’s exes for the right to keep dating her and to you know, stay alive. The series effortlesly blends a video game like world with real grounded characters and is wonderful for it.  As for where I came in, one Free Comic Book day I found a little comic named Free Scott Pilgrim, which I genuinely loved and was instantly charmed by it’s humor and well done art. So I picked up the second and third volumes of the series proper and the first once I could find it and the rest ,as they say, is history. For my high school life, this was one of hte most important things in it and I wrote fanfiction, which I thankfully never put online and in general enjoyed the hell out of the series. Then I just kind of.. let it sit on my shelf for a while. It wasn’t BAD, I just never got back to it and as the franchise went dormant I just sorta slept on it and the movie and that part of me...

Cut to a few weeks ago, when Comixology did a massive sale for black friday that marked a ton of Graphic Novels down to just 1 buck each, and the color editions of Scott Pilgrim happened to be part of this, though only volume 1 was that cheap. But thanks to my best friend micheal and an early christmas/birthday present I got the rest and got to revisit the series as a whole, with me rethinking my previous thoughts of volume 1 and thus.. wanting to review it and share both why this series is so damn special and what’s good, and what’s not so good about it. I’ll also be covering the game, once i’ts re-released, and the movie once i’m finsihed with the comics so look out for that. And get ready to take a trip to the glorious land of canada... 

As a heads up and as you can tell i’ll be using the color version as while I could get scans of the black and white, I prefer the color version. While the black and white was fine and always will be, I think the impressive coloring job really adds to thing and makes the already great fight scenes pop more, as well as making certain background elements stand out a bit. While it does negate the black and white gags, the tradeoff is more than worth it. That being said either version is fine so if you can get the black and white cheaper that’s fine and i’ve kept my original copies, with volumes 4 -6 having been picked up as they came out. 

So as our story starts we meet our hero: Scott Pilgrim Age 23, a charming but jobless and kind of sketchy possible college graduate whose really been adrift in his life since a breakup about a year ago. And when our story opens he’s taken a turn for a worse and decided to date sweet but naive and inexperinced Knives Chau, a 17 year old girl. And why yes the power dynamics there are messed up and why yes Scott is pretty damn sketchy in this moment in time, and while yes I am aware the age of consent in canada is 16, it dosen’t make this any less greasy and the story knows that.  And how it knows that MOST of his friends aren’t on board. The only ones who seems to is Stephen Stiles, leader of Sex Bomb-Omb, the band scott’s in with one of the best names ever and even then it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic or just a total douche. The other, Young Neil Nordgraf, Stephen’s roomate, is well 19 or 20 and kind of a dipshit so we just ignore him. I used to use him as kind of a projection, to put myself in the adventure when I was younger as Neil kind of lacks personality in the comics but in the comics.. he’s not hte best or most complex character. He is great in the movie though and Edgar Wright did an amazing job fleshing him out.  The rest of his circle are .. not so permissive. His best friend, roomate and king of all gays for all time Wallace Wells very much does not want to come with Scott to school to pick her up because every part of that sentence after hurt to type. Granted Scott gets him to come with him with promises of boys, but frankly knowing wallace he was probably just playing along/wants to protect this poor child. His ex and fellow bandmate Kim is clearly bothered by it and is flat out worried Scott is taking advantage of her. Kim and Wallace are easily my faviorites both for personality and because I have a massive crush on both. With Wallace it just didn’t manifest till the reread. Finally Scott’s kid sister Stacey chews him out over it before genuinely wondering if he’s gone insane or he’s actually happy. For my two cents: he’s not. He WANTS to be, but he dosen’t know how. And as someone whose both neurotypical, which given Scott’s troubles with empathy and relating to people like yours truly I strongly suggest he is, and has struggled with depression I can relate to that. He wants to move on but he just.. can’t, he just wants to get past the haze he’s been in since Envy dumped him.. but he dosen’t know how. So instead of doing someting constructive or finding a job or anything .. he just took the first and easiest way out of his depression he could. I’ve done that with video games and stuff. Scott did that by entering a relationship that’s really easy, requires only so much effort, and is with someone who utterly adores, looks up to him and will never expect better. Being with Knives makes him feel better.. but it dosen’t MAKE him a better person. As i’ve made clear dating someone just for a boost makes him actively worse and had fate not intervened, I shudder to think what Scott might have become. That being said his actoins are still creepy and since Scott has a habit of landing ass backwards into being an asshole here’s a counter to track that. That’s 2 for doing this overall, one for tleling her to be good, and 1 for trying to ply wallace with underage boys. 

Your the Scum of the Earth Scott Counter: 1

Thankfully fate does and Scott’s dreams, ones of him crawling through a desert alone, are interupted by a mysterious pink haired girl on skates. The next day he’s just sort of in a daze, kind of confused, and even more so when he sees her IN REAL LIFE, while at the library with Knives. He’s understandably frazzled but ends up finding out he’s not hallucinating when talking to MIcheal Cormeau. Micheal is a minor character and another artist and friend of o malley’s who represents that one guy in social circles who knows everybody. And indeed he knows the mystery girl, Ramona Flowers and that she’s there. Scott TRIES talking her up but just creeps her out, so Scott goes with plan b and decides to ask around about her. Enter Sandra and Monique, two college aquantinces of Scott, who just sorta show up at major events and aren’t that developed or intresting. They turn him to Julie who forbids him to date her. To which I say. 

Naturually we’ll aslo be needing a counter for this. 

Shut Up Julie Counter: 1

Scott however did find out she’s a delivery girl for Amazon Canada, and thus orders some CD’s on Wallace’s Credit card to hopefully see her. And while his behavior IS obessive.. it’s understandable. I’d be weirdly obessed with finding someone too if they showed up in my dreams every day and were apparently a real person. I’d probably play it cooler but still i’ts kind of understandable. So after a day with knives in which he’s clearly checked out she kisses him, he freaks out and it’s very clear that while Scott’s good at attracting women he’s just.. not good with his emotions and has finally woken up to how messed up this is, but has no idea how to get out now he’s intrested in someone he actually has a future with maybe.  Speaking of Scott’s package and Ramona finally arrive. Scott’s move is to.. ask her out abrubtly but after he mentions her Dreams, Ramona finally puts two and two together and explains things: She’s been using Subspace, a seris of highways connected by the subconcious and apparently more common in america, though it’s later revealed she was taught this but being the first book with a lot of the lore and what not ironed out this is fine. Point is she was just using his dreams as transit and didn’t mean to get him obessed. Scott continues to try his schtick and eventually gets her to agree to hang out with him. Why she does I generally do not know, as SCott basically fell ass backwards over himself conversationally, but whatever. If he didn’t succeed we wouldn’t have a plot. 

That being said things pick up a bit with the date though. The scene is really good and simply just the two.. talking. Having plesant conversations getting to know one another. That good stuff. it’s just really nice to read and it’s hard to explain why. Highlights include Scott’s x-men patch, Ramona not wanting to talk about her last job and Scott admitting he hasn’t been obessed in a long time.. and it comes off sweet rather htan creepy like that sounds. It just means he hasn’t fell this head over heels felt like this. As I said Knives was easy.. but this is hard.. and this.. feels right. So as things Snow Ramona yanks scott through subspace to escape the blizzard. 

So we end up back at Ramona’s place and she offers some tea which leads to one of the best gags of the volume as she lists them off: 

So Ramona goes to get Scott a blanket, Scott ends up following finds her changing, and she decides to warm him up another way.. by embracing him... cue.. the inevitible really. 

It feels organic though: The two are clearly attracted to each other and while Scott came on as strong as freaking colossus, he still rebounded well once they hung out and he could relax a bit and show the scott underneath the lairs of dumbass. The two end up cuddling in bed and Scott seems..genuiley happy saying he needed this... awwwwwww. They part the next morning with him asking her to his band’s performance. 

So Scott finds Wallace  at home who says what Scott needs to hear “You need to break up with your fake highschool girlfriend scott’ Granted the entire first 40 pages could’ve been titled that but now he’s actively cheating. He’s also got a letter. 

It’s a death threat Scott barely grazes through, just like an email earlier. 

But scott’s more concerned with his emotional distress.. i.e. the consequences of his throughly shitty actions finally hitting him in the face. 

Scott heads to practice for his gig and can’t bring himself to break up with knives, but does find out about the opposition: Crash and the Boys, based on an NES game title because of course it is. Crash, their leader, Joel their baseplayer who scott hates because he hates all other baseplayers (”I don’t hate myself kim) and Trasha, an 8 year old progedy they found playing Drum Mania. Don’t ask me what that is, i’m not going to get every refrence. 

So at the show Scott runs into Stacey and her new boyfriend Jimmy  with Stacey being supportive. And then Knives shows up and then RAMONA SHOWS UP. Oh no scott’s cheating might be discovered! 

So Scott books it while we’re introduced to Crash and the Boys. Wallace heckles them, to the band’s annoyance, until they eventually get fed up and we easly get the best gag of the volume. I was wrong this clearly tops the tea thing. 

So Crash and The Boys continue to play their set, including a song that supposdely kills the audience but really knocks them out.. which of course bothers kim because they play next. Meanwhile Ramona and Stacey meet and the two really get along.. and come back to find the audience ko’d and Wallace Making out with Stacey’s boyfriend. Oh no! Which is a dick move, no question. But Stacey’s next move is questionable even for a 19 year old: She says “You won’t steel another guy from me and tells wallace to sit over there”. Okay Stacey even if he is bi, and this series has trouble with the concept of bisexuals we’ll get into that later trust me, he made out with someone else entirely while on a date with you. Wallace is still an asshole, it’s part of his charm.. but it dosen’t change the fact your date kissed someone else seconds after you were gone and has been eyballing him all night, as seen even above. He’s not into you as you thought, just accept it, move on, and kick Jimmy in the balls and then wallace like a proper lady. So Scott prepares to play and this happens

And it’s here, at the very end of the comic the series main premise finally kicks in and the world takes it’s true shape. It’s a world where an indie comedy about a mess of a being putting his life together after finding his dream girl.. also has said mess being forced to get into fist fights with wizards, movie stars, vegans, half-ninjas, twin roboticists and a katana wielding douchenozzle record exec in order to continue to have the right to date his girlfriend. 

It’s where the series charm comes from and really what made it a huge sucess so it’s no suprise this volume perks up immensley for the climax. I’ll get more into it’s pacing problem at the end. For now it’s fight time and as we find out in a hilarious and awesome turn.. Scott is the best fighter in toronto.. which just makes me REALLLY want a Scott Pilgrim version of letterkenny. I mean who wouldn’t want to see wayne fight some guy who can turn his hands into dragons or see Squireely Dan do E.Honda’s hand slap move from streetfighter or see the skids all fuse into one mega emo. It’s just.. the possiblities are as endless as they are wonderous and I want this now. 

But yeah as Patel is both the first boss and Scott’s first real opponent Scott.. handles him really easily. This was by design as O’Malley wanted a shonen progression to the fights.. and honestly it’s a great way to do things. Since the fights are styled after shonen and video games, and both have power based progression in bad guys and threats, it just made sense. Patel.. is just pathetic even with his magic powers, and his habit of sending letters and emails just pounds it in. Though he is right to be a bit pissed Scott didn’t read a letter he hand delivered in a snowstorm. That’s just a tad rude. 

Mid-Fight, Scott, now he knows the whole evil ex boyfriend thing, wonders what Matt and Ramona’s past is and while Matthew refuses to tell.. Ramona spills easily. It was midddle school, all the jocks wanted her for whatever reason, likely because from experince in high school, guys really like indie girls. Matthew was the only non-white non jock, so they teamed up and with her strength and his mystic powers they beat them.. but since his use had dried up, she flipped him off and left.  Matthew dosen’t take this well and summons demon hipster chicks to fight while Scott and co, minus ramona, fight back with a finger gun routine and block his fire balls before propelling Scott into matthew somehow, and landing the KO Evil Exes Left: 6 Matthew bursts into coins though fun fact, O’Malley says the Exes all respawned back at home afterwords and learned their lesson. With Pattel I genuinely don’t think he did... but clearly given his penchant for formality what with the letters and emails, he probably felt it’d break protocol to attack before the rest were done. He probably jsut formed a hipster emo band and found more sucess using his magic for that instead and just forgot about the whole thing. Could be wrong but that’s what i’m going with.  So Scott asks Ramona to go out with him then make out with him, both of which she says yes to. Nice one scotty boy. Ramona then explains the whole evil exes thing: He’ll have to defeat each one as they come after him, and while Scott wonders if they’ll come one at a time Ramona’s not sure. As time will bear out, Scott is MOSTLY correct as most exes take him one on one, with the exception of the twins. But since as I said earlier the twins are basically one person, and as we’ll find out by choice, so it’s an exception. Plus their the last step before the final boss, so by that token it’s a bit fairer to have the penultimate boss get an unfair advantage. Scott is fine with that, he and Ramona share another moment and a kiss.. but Scott makes the mistake of asking if gideon is one and Ramona’s head starts glowing with her dodging the subject, though still going out with SCott and him worried.. it just feels.. off. not a bad ending but the only one of the series three cliffhanger endings that just dosen’t work for me, especailly since it is a bit before the Gideon mystery really picks up steam again. But with that we close this chapter

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Precious Little Life is a decent start to the story.  While Scott is loathsome at first, he’s still a compelling character and does get more likeable as things go, the humor when it is there shines and is one of the series best assets and while the fight is short and only at the end, it is oh so glorious especailly in cover with the impacts taking cues from the movie. It’s a good intro to Scott’s world and ther’es a reason the movie adapts this book the closest as it sets up the cast and premise well, with only Stephen Stiles feeling a bit off and ONLY for the first few chapters.  The volume is only really held back by it’s pacing, as before Scott runs into ramona in his dream the story feels a bit sluggish as we’re just watching some douche date a high school kid. While it is necessary to set up the world, it just dosen’t have the snappy pacing the series would be known for and that makes the rest of the series more charming. it’s nto BAD.. but it’s not FANTASTIC like the series would become. What keeps it from being bad is simple: These aren’t general badness signs but more just O’Malley coming into his owna nd getitng better and better as the book goes, to the point that by the next book the pacing is much better and by book 3 onwards he has it down pat.  Overall not a BAD volume but certaionly the weakest of the bunch.. which given it’s still really good says something about the ride we’re in for. I’ll be back sometime in the future, likely january. Yup i’m taking on YET ANOTHER PROJECT. but since this one, while clearly exausting and time consuimg, is much shorter in overall length, and i’m still proritizing the three I have running over this, I think i’ll be just fine. Until next time, have a happy holiday. 

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter one: welcome home

chapter one of book four, mind you~

i decided to post it now because why the hell not?

"out on the wily, windy moors, we'd roll and fall in green. you had a temper like my jealousy, too hot, too greedy. how could you leave me when i needed to possess you? i hated you, i loved you, too." -"wuthering heights", kate bush

Marla closed the hatch at the back of her rental car, and she turned to Sam. The hot California sun beat down on both of their heads. The trees were already changing from healthy green to an autumnal yellow despite it being the middle of summer. The soil underneath them and the low sparsely forested foothills around them yearned for rain, and she kept her gaze fixated on the glass front door up the walkway from her.

It felt like forever since Sam had been to Lake Elsinore and what better way than to genuinely live by the lake as she began her senior project. Everything was as dry as a bone, and Marla's own caress upon her upper arms meant that the dryness would in fact persist throughout. Sam tucked her free hand into one pocket and she could feel the edge of the paper against her skin.

“God, I know it's hot but I feel it getting cold soon, though,” Marla confessed.

“That's the West Coast for you,” Sam told her. “The assumption is always one of 'oh, it's always so hot in California—surprised it doesn't catch fire more.' But it's actually cold and dry here, though. It's not like New York where you guys have the lakes and the Gulf Stream nearby.”

“By the way, did you tell Aurora?” Marla asked her.

“I did,” Sam replied, but she realized that she never did tell Aurora that she was going out to California over the summer, especially since she was due to give birth to her baby any day at that point. She never told her when she would be coming back, either. That is if she ever came back. Bill still never elaborated on what she was to do out there in the Golden State, even on the flight over from New York. If anything, he was awful quiet the whole way, especially with Marla right next to her on in that single row of seats.

Marla herself meanwhile had kept the black hair from the winter months, however she changed the electric blue streak to one of electric pink, and she added a second streak on the opposite side of her head as well. She tucked a single strand behind her ear right then.

“I can't believe you're actually here,” she confessed.

“I can't, either,” Sam said with a raise of her eyebrows. “But the boys are all up the road, though. If I find the time, I'll drive up there and at the very least visit Cliff.”

“That's definitely a must. Your couch is still stashed at my apartment, by the way. You know, when you moved in with me, you had to stash that thing. I might just keep it.”

“Hey, it's a comfy couch, you might as well. And I might be back come Christmas, who knows?”

“Miss Shelley?” Bill called from the front door right then. Sam raised her eyebrows at him.

“What's up?” she called out to him. He hurried out of the front door with something flat tucked underneath his arm.

“Hey, that's right, yeah,” Marla said with a nod.

“I don't know why I keep thinking it's going to be like forever,” Sam confessed, “I think it's the whole 'pick up and move across the country' kinda thing, to be honest.”

“I think it is, too,” Marla agreed, “going that far and being far away this whole entire time, you get kind of final in your thoughts.” He skidded to a stop before them as the words left her lips. He clicked a pen and showed Sam the clipboard with a blank white sheet of paper upon it.

“What's this?” she asked him.

“I'm gonna need you to sign this,” he told her as he pointed at the line underneath the edge of the blank paper. “It's an agreement to show that you are in fact out here with me.”

“Why didn't we do this before we left, though?” she asked him with a frown.

“I just forgot,” he confessed with a shrug of his shoulders. “It's okay, though—I have a fax machine inside. I can send it off to the school with ease!”

Sam glanced over at Marla, whose face fell and she fetched up a sigh through her nose all the while. She then nibbled on her bottom lip out of fretting. But on the other hand, she was back in Lake Elsinore and within range of the Los Angeles area if she so wished. She had lived here before. She was a day's drive from the San Francisco Bay Area, and a day's drive from her parents' house.

She could still taste Joey on her lips. The tears in those brown eyes. The feeling of his soft slender little body against her own. He vowed to call her, as long as she got to call him first by the time she had been settled in with Bill there at the house.

All of her art supplies with her. All of her clothes with her. She could still feel Zelda's embrace as well. She didn't want to leave it behind her, but she was sure that it was only for that year. A year felt like forever in those terms however.

But she signed on the dotted regardless of her fears and her reluctance.

No sooner had she added a little loop at the bottom of the “y” in her last name of Shelley when he lifted the page for her again.

“And there,” he said with a point to the bottom of the page. Sam sighed through her nose and she did it right then and there. Marla sniffled but Sam knew it was from the dryness all around them.

“Excellent!” he declared and he returned to the house with the clipboard tucked under his arm. Sam and Marla glanced at one another; the former noticed the look of bewilderment upon her face.

“What's the matter?” Sam asked her, to which Marla leaned closer to her face so they could keep it between the both of them.

“There was just something off about that,” she replied. “Don't you think so?”

“How so?”

“I dunno. Just—kind of—off. Like something about that didn't sit too well with me.”

“Come inside and make yourselves at home,” Bill called from the front door again.

“In my case, for the time being,” Marla added as the two of them walked on inside of the spacious foyer; to the right stood a carpeted stairwell which led up to the second and third floors up above. Before them was the foyer which led to the kitchen and to the left stood the vast but warm lit dining room with a long table. Bill himself had gone off somewhere inside of that house.

“This place is like a mansion,” Sam noted.

“Yeah. Definitely not something you see on a teacher's salary, either. Especially an adjunct collegiate professor, too.” Marla looked over at her again. “See what I mean when I say there's just something off about this whole thing?”

“Sort of. We'll have to see more of it soon enough to come to a conclusion, though.”

Bill then returned to the two of them with a glass of dark liquid in each hand.

“Iced tea for my guest and—my mentee,” he declared. He then ran his fingers through his blond hair and his face lit up. “By the way, did you get those letters of recommendation signed and sealed, Marla?”

“Yeah...” she replied with a bit of hesitance. “Belinda and I got it all done in like April, two months early.” He turned his attention to the small table right next to him, and she chuckled right then. “It was funny. We were sitting in the library doing the rest of them and she was like 'I dunno if I can do the rest of these joint, Marla.' And I was like, 'don't tell you haven't written letters of recommendation before, Bel!' And she goes, 'I have, just not with another person.' And I told her, 'well, it's not like we're screwing each other, Bel—just gotta write them up real quick by the template. Nothing to it.' Took us all day, but still!”

Sam chuckled at that, but Bill was silent the whole entire time she talked about that. Instead, he kept his attention fixed on the sheet of paper under his fingers.

“So you looking over what I have to do while I'm out here?” Sam asked him as she sipped on her iced tea.

“Yeah—quite a bit you have to do.”

“Well, can I at least see it?”

“Not with Marla here,” he pointed out with a raise of his head, to which Sam frowned at that.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I told her about my senior project when it was going down this past school year,” Marla recalled, and he raised his eyebrows at her.

“Seriously.”

“Yeah. What's—what's wrong with that?”

He nibbled on his bottom lip, curt.

“When does your flight leave, Marla?”

“Well, I was thinking of getting Sam settled in here and then taking her out to dinner down the hill.”

“There's hardly any time for that,” he said with a straight face.

“Yes, there is.”

“Yeah, she's taking the red eye, Bill,” Sam assured him. “It's gonna be fine.”

“You're not working, are you?” he asked Marla with a slight raise of an eyebrow. She knitted her eyebrows together at that.

“Why does that matter?”

“You don't have any money.”

“I have some. Not a lot. I'm expecting my grant some time this week which will cover my rent. And I am looking for a job, too.” Marla gaped at him. “You—do realize this, right? Like, I'm not a free loader, right?”

“Never said you were,” he pointed out.

“But you're implying it, though,” Marla pointed out.

“Oh, Miss Taylor, you couldn't be further from the truth.”

“No, that's exactly what you're implying here. You see me here with Sam like I'm some kind of free loader. Well, I'm here to help her move in with you.”

“Once again, you couldn't be further from the truth. She's not moving in with me—she's staying here with me.”

“Yes, she's moving in with you!” Marla insisted.

“Don't miss that flight,” he told her in a singsong tone.

Sam and Marla glanced at one another, puzzled. “What flight?” the former asked him.

“The next one. Before we left the airport, I noticed that the next one to New York leaves in about one hour. You want to find work, don't you, Miss Taylor?”

“Well, yeah. But I still want to help her, though. And there will be more flights, too. I hope.”

“Yeah, I don't think there's a red eye tonight.” He showed her a thin lipped smile, and Marla shifted her weight in that spot on the floor. Sam looked over at her with her mouth slightly parted. Without another moment's hesitation, Marla drank down the iced tea in four large gulps. She lowered the glass and showed her tongue to Sam. The grimace on Marla's face made her realize that the iced tea was terrible.

“Don't miss that flight,” he told her in a singsong tone. Marla then turned to Sam with tears in her eyes. This whole entire time, she believed that Aurora was her best friend, but Marla had taken that crown from her in the past several months as they moved in together and attended school together. She even helped her dye her hair! Marla threw her arms around her and held her close. Sam had her chin rested upon her shoulder, just like how she embraced Joey.

Marla held back a bit to say something right into her ear.

“If you need anything at all, call me,” she said to her in a low voice, “or Bel. We can't do much—especially her because she went up to Albany last week—but we both can be shoulders to cry on, though.”

“Or Zelda,” Sam suggested.

“Oh, yeah, Zelda will definitely be happy to hear your voice. Anything at all. Rain or shine, day or night, doesn't matter. Call one of us if you need anything at all.”

“Okay.” Marla embraced her again.

“I love you,” she whispered into her ear.

“I love you, too,” Sam whispered back.

Marla squeezed her a little bit before she let her go and then she walked on out of there. The last time Sam would be seeing Marla and that pink stripe upon her head; indeed, Sam sniffled and she brushed away a tear as Marla climbed into the rental car. She stood there in the doorway to see her off; before she started up the car, Marla turned her head into her direction and formed a heart shape with both hands over her chest. Sam set her glass of iced tea down on the floor next to her feet and she returned the favor: even from the doorway, she could see the tears in her friend's eyes.

She wasn't ready to let her go as of yet. But Marla returned to the steering wheel and she started up the car.

Sam saw her off up the street, and she even stayed there for a couple more minutes after Marla turned the corner and disappeared behind the trees.

A brand new chapter, at least for the time being. Sam knew she would be back in New York some day. When that some day came was another question, however.

“Alright, Miss Shelley,” Bill started, still in a curt tone. She fetched up another sigh and she picked up the glass of iced tea from the floor, and she took a sip from it. She winced at the overly sweet taste and the fact that he hadn't used fresh tea at all. The pale, washed out beige color was right in her face after all.

Sam turned around and there, on either side of Bill, stood two little girls. The same two little towheaded blonde twin girls she remembered from that photograph in his office back at the school. The girl on the right had a big blue ribbon bow that tied up her blonde hair upon the crown of her head, while the one on the left had a birthmark shaped like a crescent moon on her cheek.

“Oh!” she said as she held the glass closer to her chest.

“Yes.” He set a hand on either of their shoulders.

“You must be Matilda and Cassandra,” she started in a friendly tone.

“Mattie and Cassie,” he corrected her. “Mattie to the right here with the bow in her hair, and Cassie to the left with the birthmark on her face.”

“Mattie and Cassie, pardon me,” she said.

“Are you our mommy now?” Mattie asked her with her finger up to her lip.

Sam stopped.

“Why would I be your mommy?” she asked her, confused.

“Daddy said he was bringing home a new mommy,” Mattie replied, and Sam knitted her eyebrows together at that.

And then it dawned on her. Marla's hunches were right. She looked up at Bill, who never changed his expression from a cold smile. Sam shook her head.

“While you are out here with me,” he began in a low voice, “you must help me raise these two girls given their birth mother is not around. You must pose as my new wife.”

“Wait. You're telling me—part of the assignment is to feign marriage? That sounds so illegal.”

“It actually isn't. And it's not part of the assignment, either—this is what it is. Remember part of the paperwork I made you sign when we first got here? The one that was tucked under that piece of paper as you were conversing with Marla?”

“Those two pieces of paper on the clipboard? Those two thing you made me sign while—she and I were talking—and when we first got here?” Sam gaped at him. He had duped her, and now she was out there in California, with no escape. She was now responsible for raising Matilda and Cassandra alongside him.

She should have listened to those gut feelings while he told her about it in his office back in New York. She should have listened to her own intuition, in how the whole thing left her unsettled.

“What're you going to do for the school, though?” she demanded. “What're you going to do for money?”

“I was in an adjunct position, Miss Shelley,” he explained, “those positions are expendable and that school is understaffed, too. When they're abandoned, they find a way to fill it in. As for money—don't worry about it. I'm still on the payroll there and have been, even after they—fired—me. They are so incompetent that they didn't even take me off the payroll.” That word of which he mouthed.

She balled her free hand into a fist, but it was apparent that he didn't care. Not even in the very least. And this was a side to him that she hadn't seen before, at least not when she was at the school. Or perhaps it was because every time she saw him took place at the school, thus he had to hide this side to him.

“Welcome home,” he told her with a cold smile and a sinister tone to his voice. She grimaced at that as he stepped out of there and into the hallway. “Your room is upstairs, remember. By the way.”

Sam fumed at him as he led those two girls out of there. She had no clue who she was more furious at, herself for having fallen into his trap, or Bill for being so insidious with it all. But the only thing she could do was go up to the loft on the third floor, where Marla had helped move her things to.

She turned to the stairwell beneath her and she looked down at the glass of awful iced tea. Silence downstairs, which meant he wouldn't hear her.

“You—fucking asshole,” she blurted out. “You fucking scumbag! You mother fucker!” She chucked the glass down to the bottom of the stairs and it shattered against the wall, right next to his room no less. He was out of range at that point, and all Sam could do was drop down to the edge of the bed with her face buried in her hands.

She wasn't ready to be married yet, not with Joey not knowing about it. She lay back on the bed when the tears welled up even more. He had fooled her. He had fooled her!

She left everything behind only for him to fool her into it!

And indeed, those finalistic thoughts weren't so finalistic after all. She was officially married to him, and Matilda and Cassandra were her stepdaughters from that point onward. Nothing she could do about it at that point.

She rolled over onto her side and buried her face into the top cover on the bed. She didn't want to be seen, even with Bill out of the room.

 * * * * *

 And thus, she found herself at the shore of the small lake before her, and she wondered where things had gone wrong. The glassy waters were nothing like the lake north of Syracuse, or one of the Finger Lakes for that matter.

The whole ordeal left her mind a complete mess. Her heart torn into separate pieces. She came to the conclusion that those three years in which she lived in New York were her perceived peak. Never going back to those days ever again after this.

She wanted Joey but she also wanted Alex, especially with her being so close to the San Francisco Bay Area at that point. But at the same time, she couldn't entirely put the blame on Bill. He wanted her out there for a reason and her studious nature at school and the fact she always came like clockwork made her appeal to him in the vein of a mother. If anything, it was her fault that she didn't ask more questions.

But also at the same time, however, he led her into it all. He led her on. He made her believe that those two girls were in good hands with their birth mother, but apparently, he had better things to do for himself. She gazed on at the photographs of Joey and Alex in her fingers.

“So much for standing up for myself,” she muttered as she gazed on at their faces nestled in between her fingers. “I need to get the hell out of here. I need to get out of here and figure out how to null it.”

She was alone at that point, anyway, which meant she could in fact call Marla. The inspiration had run dry a bit on that hot afternoon anyway; thus she closed her journal and she climbed off of the rock and began back up the pathway to the house. One of the things she had up in her room was a large bookcase, and one of the books on the shelves was Wuthering Heights. She would have to read that book at some point in the future, or perhaps she could do it that evening after she made the phone call back to the apartment in Hell's Kitchen.

“What the—actual fuck,” Marla sputtered; Sam could hear the fury in her voice. “What do you mean you're legally married to him?”

“I'm legally married to him,” Sam said in a low voice as she sat there on the edge of her bed with the cordless in her ear. “Remember those two things he made me sign when you and I were out on the sidewalk?”

“Yeah?”

“The first thing was a nuptial agreement. The other thing I signed was a prenup, too, because—this is a big house and he's got his fingers in some pies, too. Because I'm here with nothing now.” She folded her right arm across her chest and sighed through her nose. “You were right, Marla. There was something off about the whole thing. The big house, the hidden papers he made me sign... it was all in plain sight, really. Like that—fucking trash iced tea he made for us.”

“Well, if I'm honest, here was nothing we could do at that point, though. We were already there and you've really got no way back, either, especially now. And yeah, that iced tea was horrible. Probably the worst I've ever had in my life.”

“How's Bel doing?” Sam asked.

“She's loving Albany right now. She told me she could probably get me a job up there, but—who knows, really. And I don't really want to leave Hell's Kitchen, you know? I was born here and I grew up here. For me, a city girl, to be upstate, even with my other best friend—it just—it's hard.”

“Right, right. It'd be cool, though. You know I was wanting an escape from New York for a bit, but sometimes a mere change of pace is all you need. It's why I was so eager to leave the Bronx and move in with you in Hell's Kitchen.”

“And New York's a big city, too. If you can't find something here, something is wrong.”

Sam glanced down at the floor boards underneath her. She knew that those mountains got cold in the winter time, and the cold would come for them soon enough: she foresaw those bare wooden boards feeling as cold as ice at some point during those months.

“Genie misses you, by the way,” Marla told her.

“God, I miss her, too. How's she doing?”

“She's right here next to me on the couch getting pets. She's also purring, like loudly. You know, that big loud contented purr she likes to do with us. Last night, she curled up behind my legs and never moved at all. It wasn't even that cold last night, either.”

Sam sighed through her nose. All those days in which the two of them returned home and Genie always ran up to them with a loud contented purr from inside of her throat, and her black fur as soft as ever. She always seemed to get softer with each and every day they both stepped through the door.

“Also, Aurora finally—literally finally—gave birth to her babies,” Marla added with a clearing of her throat.

“Wait.” Sam stopped right in her tracks and she shuffled her feet right underneath her at the sound of that. “Babies? Babies, are you serious? She had more than one?”

“Yeah, twins. Two girls—half Korean half—whatever the hell Emile is. I forget their names, though, like Aurora told me this morning but I wasn't properly paying attention. I kept thinking, you know—it's about time. Really, it's about time, too, she was getting massive that last week, and they were big, too. And this whole entire time I thought she was due in the middle of June, but the dumb idiot Emile was about a month off. Can't even do math right.”

“Oh, my god!” Sam brought a hand to her mouth.

“Yeah, I took a Polaroid of her literally moments before her water broke. She posed for me and it looked like she ate two of the biggest watermelons you could find at the supermarket. She was huge, Sam. Just gargantuan. If and when I get to see you again, I'll show you because I told Frankie about it, because they hadn't seen her in months, either. And he was like 'no way!' I went to their place just the other day to see how things were going and it's absolute chaos over there, like I left after not even five minutes. Neither of them were prepared for a family of four. And they want more, too! She told me she loves being pregnant and she can't wait to get knocked up again and again. It's just crazy.”

She chuckled and then she fell silent again for a moment. Sam knew what was on her mind right then.

“I have no idea what I'm going to do, Sam,” she confessed to her in a near whisper. “I mean, it's barely August, and I finally got my grant in the mail, too. But I'm sure you know. Grants don't last forever.”

“Oh, yeah, and school's about to start again soon, too. Did you find a job, though?”

“Not yet. Like I said Bel might find me something but I'm not holding my breath, though. I might just go work at the school, who knows, really.”

And then Sam remembered what he told her. “Yes, go work at the school and tell someone that Bill doesn't work there anymore. If nothing, take his place so he loses money.”

“I'd have to get my teaching credential, though.”

“Yes, but they're understaffed, though. If they lack people, they've got to take you. At least that's what he told me about adjunct positions. He also got fired some time ago but stayed on the payroll. I'm guessing he just saved like hell and he was able to afford this house and why he made me sign a prenup, too. If you go to work there, maybe you can point it out to someone there. Like 'hey, Bill hasn't worked here in some time, why is he still on the payroll?' And you can not only go to work there but you can inadvertently take his money, too.”

Marla fell silent again, and that time for a whole entire minute.

“Are you there, Marla?” Sam asked in a small voice.

“Never left,” Marla replied. “I'm putting my shoes on. I will run down there if I have to.”

Sam held the cordless in between her shoulder and the side of her face, and she clapped her hands at that.

“Oh, my god, thank you so much!”

“Hey, you're my best friend, my roommate, and my fellow artist. At this point in our friendship, Sam, I will literally take a bullet for you. And—I'm a New York girl to boot, too. I'm not gonna let any slippery mother fucker screw over you like that.”

Sam clasped a hand to her brow and she pinched her eyes shut to hold back the tears of joy. To think it wasn't that long ago she wanted Charlie for herself out of spite to Marla, but now her support of her fellow female artists had come to fruition even more so now than ever.

“But wait, isn't the school closed, though?” Sam stopped right then.

“Not today, no. It's Monday. Campus closes at eight and it's five thirty right now. It's almost dinner time for most of the counselors there so I gotta hustle.”

“Oh, yeah, that's right. And Matilda and Cassandra started elementary school already.”

“Shit. Started school right in the middle of summer, that sucks. When we were in school, Bel and I didn't even start until around Labor Day.”

“Yeah, me, too. Oh, and by the sound of it, he's using those girls, too. For all I know, they haven't even seen their mom. Like right after you left, they came out and had this blank look on their face like they were spooked.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Marla groaned, and a soft rustling emerged on her end. “Yeah, I'm gonna get my ass down there right now.”

“Thank you, Marla. Thank you so much!”

“Talk to you soon—” Marla vowed, and then she hung up right there. Sam wiped away another tear from her eye. As long as Joey didn't find out about this, then she would be fine. She pictured Marla running as fast as she could down the block to the school, with her jet black hair streamed behind her, that pink stripe strong and high to indicate her speed. She pictured her catching someone at the door as well; even though Bill had nudged her a bit there at the house the other day, she knew that Marla could convince someone there. Belinda persisted with stained glass, even though it fell through with Sam, but she persisted anyway.

These New York girls knew how to get it done when it came to a good friend.

She bowed her head and sighed through her nose.

She didn't feel like drawing. Even though there wasn't hardly anything to eat in the pantry downstairs, she was hungry. But if nothing more, she had to head into town for a quick errand to the supermarket about three blocks from there. She knew she had to make a call to Eric and Testament's fan club to say that she had changed addresses, but first things were first however.

She then remembered that they had put out that new album, The New Order, back in the beginning of May, and he announced it to her on her birthday as well. She thought about how Aurora made Alex's birthday all about herself all the while. That felt different to her however, because Eric announced the album to her for being a loyal part of their fan club. Aurora's announcement came with everyone crowding around her while Alex ate his cake right there next to her.

She slipped on her shoes, and picked up her purse, and headed back outside to the California sun as it dried out the trees and everything else around her even more. It was warm but at least the heat waves had held off for the time being. Her dark hair waved behind her head in the gentle breeze; even though it could be far worse with the warmth, the sun's intense rays bore down upon the side of her head and her shoulder to where she swore she dried out with the pines around her.

And she knew that she had to hurry back home soon enough in time for Mattie and Cassie to return home. She figured it would be best to grab some snacks for those girls along the way as she stepped into the cool market: she had technically become their mom now, after all.

She found herself a bottle of lemonade and a pre-wrapped sandwich from the freezer, and two bags of chips from the rack, all for her. She knew that she would be up for another dismal dinner with Bill at the helm of the table, but she hadn't eaten since the girls left for school that morning.

Sam finally fetched a basket from the front of the market given she was finding so much food already, for herself and for the two of them. He could starve for all she cared, especially since Marla was about to take his money in the most roundabout way possible. She returned to the snack aisle at the far end there, and at the far end stood a tall man with long wavy black hair down to his waist. He had a fresh tattoo of a spider web and another one of a skull on his left shoulder, but she recognized him from the far end of the aisle as he looked on at all the chips and the jars of salsa. After her experience with Stormtroopers of Death and Anthrax, she knew that when an album dropped, they headed out on tour in order to promote it, so to see him there felt like a dream of sorts.

“Chuck?” she said aloud, and he lifted his head and turned in the opposite direction to the coolers on the far wall there.

He then turned to her with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, Chuck!” Sam called out, and he wheeled around for a look back at her. He nodded at her and flashed her a smile. She hurried over to him and he extended an arm to her.

“Hey, there's our girl,” he declared as she came within earshot. “Little Sammich.” She put both arms around him.

“What's going on?” she asked him with a peer up into his face. “I thought you guys were on tour!”

“We're on break right now,” he explained. “We go back out in a couple of weeks with our pals from Overkill, though.” His expression then turned serious. “You have a different address now, that's right.”

“Yeah.”

“You got anything to write on? I'll run it by Eric when I see him in a bit.”

“Not on me right at the moment, no. I just came here for some things real quick.”

“Do you have anything to write with?” he asked her.

“Yes! I have a couple of pens in my purse.”

“Okay. When we get up front, I'll find something to write on.” He turned his attention to the jars of salsa on the shelf behind her. “What salsa do you think I should get? The one with corn and black beans, or the straight up tomato?”

“Corn and black beans. Sounds heartier.”

“Agreed.” He nodded at her and took a jar off of the shelf, and she giggled.

“What?”

“You just look funny taking salsa off of the shelf there and asking me about it.”

“Why? 'Cause of the tattoos and the hair?” Chuck ran his fingers through his wavy hair at that and showed her a little smile, complete with little apple cheeks as well. Sam kept on giggling at that, and then he led her back to the front of the market.

“Are you done, by the way?” he asked her.

“Um—” She turned to the shelf at the end there, and she took a couple of bags of cheese crackers for the girls. She had no idea what those girls liked, but it was a start from that point onward.

“Okay,” she said, and that brought a laugh out of him. They reached the first line and Chuck stepped back and put out one arm to beckon her in first.

“Why, thank you, Mr. Gentleman,” she told him, and she began to check out there in front of him. Once she had it all paid for with some of what money she had in her wallet, she stepped off to the side and awaited him at the wall. The sun beat down on the back of her head and she knew that school had to be out at any given moment.

“By the way, you got a couple of pieces of paper nearby?” Chuck asked the fluffy haired cashier, who searched about the spot for one. And then she handed a pair of small white sheets of paper to him. Once he thanked her, he handed one of them to Sam, who then used her free hand to take out her pen from her purse. For a moment, she had forgotten her new address but then she wrote it down with a bit of speed.

She also wrote “the big house by the lake” right next to it in parentheses; and she handed it over to Chuck, who had written down an unfamiliar number on that other piece of paper.

“That's our management's number,” he told her as he handed over the paper, and she exchanged with him.

“The big house by the lake,” she said, and he chuckled at that note.

“I should also give you my number, too, seeing as this is my neck of the woods,” he added as he scribbled another number that she didn't recognize, and then he handed it to her. “Remember, if you need anything, call me. Or call Tiff, or Eric, or any one of us. We'll come for you. Anything you want. You're not just our first member of the fan club, but you're a friend to us now.”

“That's hell of a long drive, though,” she pointed out. “It's like the times Joey would drive from upstate down to New York City.”

“It's alright—really, it's alright, Sam. We're all from California, we know this whole entire place like the backs of our hands. And people here do it all the time, driving from the San Francisco Bay Area to Los Angeles, and for work, too.”

The line inched ahead and Sam bowed closer to the door. Chuck was right behind her the whole entire time as she headed outside to the small square parking lot. He put his sunglasses back on and then turned to her. Right there, with the sun on the side of his face, he actually resembled to a true Native American chief, even without a headdress upon his head.

“In fact, you know what?” he started again.

“What's that?” she asked as she held her groceries down near her knees.

“Our friends Death Angel are playing a show down here some time next week in promo for their new album. Tiff and I'll come get you and we'll go see them together. The three of us and—I think Alex is gonna be with us, too. I'll have to ask him.”

“Okay!” Her face lit up at the sound of Alex's name. “Um—what time is it gonna be?”

“Seven o'clock. I think? That's what Mark told me.” She thought about Aurora and her encounter with Mark before her wedding. Like a distant memory at that point, especially with her there, three thousand miles away, clear across the country.

“House by the lake you said?” he asked her.

“Yeah. It's three stories and literally down by the water, too. You'll know it when you see it.”

“Okay.”

She threw her arms around him and he returned the favor.

“There will be more hugs in the future,” he vowed to her. Without another word, they parted ways and she doubled back down the street to the house in question.

With every step along the way, therein lay one thing she didn't understand with Bill and his status at the school, and how he found his way to convince the dean and the higher faculty that Sam had come with him. Perhaps he fooled them along the way as well.

Marla helped move the desk into that third floor, which meant that no matter what happened over the course of the next year or so, she could continue on with her art. All the time in the world without the girls nearby, and without Bill at the helm as well. All the art she could imagine for herself as she strode in through that heavy glass front door and into the vacant foyer. The girls still hadn't returned home, but she could leave the crackers in their bedroom however.

Sam padded up the stairs to the loft with her own food. Perhaps when Marla had a new job at the school, and Bill was released from payroll, she could in fact find her way back to school and back to New York in the end. That is, if Marla did in fact land a job there and Bill did in fact tell the truth to her. If nothing, Sam would relish her time alone and there by the lake, and in a place in which she had lived at no less.

“I'm pretty much done with school anyway,” she muttered to herself. Then again, there had to be a better venture out of there, even with those two little girls nearby. They weren't even her children, but she had to do something for them. Before she took her spot back on the edge of the bed, something stopped her right in her tracks.

She brought her attention to the desk on the far side of the room, to that one drawer.

She opened the drawer and still at the bottom was that piece of rice paper.

He was nearby her for real from that point onward. Alex was no longer a mere scrawl on a sheet of paper, but a mere day's drive.

If nothing else, Testament would serve as her escape as she smiled at his scribbled name for a moment before she closed the drawer.

[edorazzi]

Well, here we are again! Twitter said yes to a review post for a Miraculous magazine that suddenly showed up in my local area. ‘Tis the season after all, and by that I mean someone bought it for me as a joke birthday gift and I was way too happy about that.

I’ve done previous reviews of the Miraculous Christmas calendar, Easter egg set, superhero fashion dolls and action figures, so let’s dive into the unknown world of merchandising yet again!

(As always, if you enjoy my posts, please consider checking out my Twitter page or supporting me on Patreon for lots of bonus content!)

4 FREE GIFTS! PACKED WITH ACTIVITIES! MEET THE KWAMIS! PRANKS & LOLS! CUT-OUT MEMES! FANGIRL ALERT! NAIL ART! 100% OFFICIAL! I’m overwhelmed! It feels like I’m having a seizure just from the packaging!!! 

I should preface this by saying I haven’t bought a magazine like this in years. Possibly ever. I read things like the Beano, Animals & You and the odd Disney Princess zine when I was a kid but I have no idea what to expect from a free-gift-packed kiddie magazine in 2019. If the outside is anything to go by we’re in for a wild ride.

I’m noticing that it says “Miraculous #20″ on the back. Does this mean I’ve missed 19 previous issues? I’m genuinely a little upset by that. My local area is a complete dry zone for Miraculous so I haven’t had the chance to pick these up.

First step: let’s separate everything out and get a look at these freeeee giftssss. Except they aren’t free, because this magazine was like £3.99. This does seem to be the current trend - it’s kinda rare to see any kids’ zines without the excess packaging crammed with ‘free’ stuff. Is it really too expensive to just produce the magazine? Probably, in this economy.

Chat Noir is revealed on the cover! He was on the back of the plastic jacket, but it’s still nice to see the kids as a front-cover duo. Apparently we’re going to learn to draw Pollen, too, which sounds fun. I’m actually liking the look of the gifts as well, but we’ll get into those in a minute.

This hairbrush............. is adorable. Oh my god. It’s pretty cheap and flimsy but it functions the way it’s supposed to, and the Ladybug design has been taken into account in a better way than “it’s red/black, that counts” (lest we forget the UTTER BULLSHIT of the Christmas calendar, and YES I’m still mad about that). I don’t know how well I expect the outer sticker to last, but if it can take a bit of wear and tear this would be an adorable little travel brush. Nicely done, lads!

These nail stickers? Also adorable. They remind me of the kiddie makeup sets I had when I was little, back in the early 00s when plastic stick-on nails and decals were all the rage. Are they still a thing? That’s nice to know.

There are 13 designs (that I can count) - a Queen Bee mask, Chat Noir pawprint cake, macaron, cupcake, heart-print cookie, Ladybug stud, flower, lightning bolt, love heart, Marinette heart, bee, fox tail and star. The majority are directly related to the show and that makes them feel special. No Carapace though? :(

I’ve put a little Marinette heart on my furthest finger. At the time of typing this up (about a day later) it’s still firmly in place. I haven’t really knocked it around, granted, but it’s not flimsy enough to fall off after five minutes either. It’s also really cute to look at. Guess I’m still a decal-loving 2004 girl at heart......

These stickers though!!! Wow! They’re those holographic and slightly-puffy kind and they feel like pretty good quality, and the designs are so cute! I can’t fault these, they’re absolutely adorable. I immediately want to stick them everywhere.

So I’ve stuck them everywhere. I’m especially proud of the light switch pun. My room looks GREAT.

I saved these “mystery stickers” for last because I’m weak for the thrill of mystery bags, and there wasn’t anything on the packaging to indicate what kind of designs to expect. And OH!!!! OH, IT’S MY BOY!!!! Look at him!!!! 

I made jokes with the Christmas calendar about all the Chat Noir items being stolen ahead of time, but that’s definitely NOT the case with this magazine. I have been SPOILED with the presence of my cat son.

These stickers are similar to the sticker sheet (and the Chillin’ Out design is reprinted), but they’re puffier and non-holographic. I’m deeply allured by the “decorate your phone or tablet” suggestion on the packet, but I’m going to see how the previous stickers withstand the wear-and-tear of my laptop lid before adding any more. If I damage these beautiful Adrien stickers I’ll be devastated.

Those are our free gifts! They’re actually very fun and cute, I’m really happy with them! I guess now it’s time to get into the magazine itself...........

I genuinely almost forgot the magazine was the main part of this package. I figured I was done, but we’ve barely even started! Here’s a splash page of the kwami. Kwami with a capital K? Kwamis? I still feel like it should be singular-lower-case-k-kwami. I’ve never been happy about this “miraculouses” business either.

But is that--

It IS!!!! It’s Nino!!! 

I guess this is the new flavour of Miraculous tie-ins. Now they’ve broadened out to a full team we’re seeing a lot more of Adrien alongside the girls, and Nino is the elusive hero who shows up once in a blue moon. At least this time his name isn’t in the title of the gotdam show.......

Anyway, I can see I’m supposed to draw my “fave Kwami”. Better get to it.

Felix just wants a break. Just one break. But not in this magazine.

Speaking of seeing more of Adrien (and, tragically, less of Nino), this is the kind of splash page I want to see! Both kids are here! The banner themed with Marinette’s signature flowers is a nice touch too; that’s associated with her arts ‘n’ crafts in the show already and it makes sense to apply it to the creative portion of this magazine too.

I LOVE the promotion of Chat Noir nails as something the little girls buying this magazine will definitely want to try. I’d expect them to do Marinette vs Ladybug nails, but instead we get a boyish option! Hell yeah!

I’m a little confused by the Queen Bee masks apparently going on the Chat Noir nails though. I guess they’re friends? Is this secret AdriChlo confirmation? Watch out, Marinette, Kagami’s not the one to be worried about.

SURE WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME TURTLE STICKERS FOR AN ALL-BOYS THEME BUT I GUESS NOT HUH

Next up is a short merch catalogue (why would you put the big bold arrow pointing right to the underoos.....). Would those Chat Noir socks come in my size? Asking for me.

Then there’s......... this page. FANGIRL ALERT. God. It’s like the Ladyblog, if only the Ladyblog ever gave a heck about reporting what Chat Noir’s up to.

THE SPELL WAS BROKEN AND THE FANDOM IMPLODED WITH JOY.

I really have to wonder what age range this is meant for. Do kids know what a “fandom” is? Do little girls consider themselves “fangirls”? I guess most kids have enough internet access to figure it out these days (all the hashtags and LOLs and memes speak volumes), but I can’t imagine being young enough to fit the target range of this magazine while also knowing these terms. I dunno.

(Also, the definition of ‘implosion’ is ‘an instance of something collapsing violently inwards’, so I’m not sure that’s the word they’re looking for. Unless the return to the status quo in Dark Cupid and the continuing stagnation of the love square was enough to make people quit in frustration? Probably.)

I’m filling it in, of course. Because I must.

I gave up on the pre-approved ratings system pretty much right away, but I think this is an accurate rating of my LadyNoir opinions. 

I might be kinda cynical about it here, but I am actually pretty fond of how this magazine sells Ladybug and Chat Noir as a couple. The show’s portraying it as very onesided lately, with Chat pining over Ladybug who has absolutely no interest in him (Glaciator was a TERRIBLE episode and I’m still hurting from it), but reading this zine I’d guess they were already dating. It’s cheesy, but in a nice way.

I have to laugh at “the most amazing thing about this super duo is that they always look out for and protect each other” though. Chat’s usually pretty focused on LB, sure, but there are endless instances of LB using Chat as cannon fodder and just generally abandoning him to get mauled by akuma while she carries out her personal private plan to save the day. Maybe we’re just focusing on the better-written episodes, huh?

Moving ahead. I’ve been dreading this page since reading “Plaggs Pranks & LOLs” on the back of the packaging. I feel hatred in my very bones just looking at it.

I like that there’s ONE instance of the term “ladybird” in the joke column. This is a UK-based magazine and that IS the word we tend to use over here - “ladybug” is an Americanism - but it’s like they’re worried kids could have got to the middle of this magazine about a superhero named Ladybug and then not understand the bug jokes. Maybe whoever was writing this page slipped up?

OH NOOOOO. MARINETTE, NOOOOOOOOOO.

THIS IS WHY FELIX GOT RID OF YOU, PLAGG. THESE ARE ADRIEN’S PROBLEMS NOW.

(mmm whatcha saaaaay)

I mean........... YEAH, I guess, but we absolutely did see Plagg destroy Felix with an entire shelf of heavy books. I guess he’s nicer with Adrien. It’s all fun and games until someone has a nervous breakdown in the library.

I do love the concept of Tikki getting glitter-bombed by Plagg through the mail. She just curiously opens up the little letter which got slipped into Marinette’s purse, and-- WOOSH. One entire wall of Mari’s room is glittery except for a little Tikki-shaped silhouette. 

Next up is a two-page comic which is absolutely adorable! Look at those little chibis! The warm and soft colour palette! This is nicer than most of the official Miraculous comic book art I’ve seen, I hope they keep giving this artist work.

Nino’s here too (and he looks great!), and I like the touch of Marinette and Adrien playing as each other’s superhero characters. Adrien even wins the match, though I guess there’s something to be said about Ladybug beating Chat Noir (again)...... 

It does raise the question yet again of where this tie-in merchandise is coming from! They’ve had action figures, a movie, music video features, now an arcade game... Who’s getting the royalties here? Who’s profiting? Is this how Fu can afford to buy all those rare ingredients for the magic potions?

Over the page we have an activity to Design your Secret Lair! Right away I love the Marinette theme of the page, the soft pink and flowers, and the drawing space looking like a page in a binder with marker tabs and everything.

I have to design my secret lair, of course: 

What do you think? I’m very creative. I’ll need an adult to send in the drawing of my hideout but I think I’ve really got a shot at those unicorn headphones.

Now we’re on to puzzles and character pages. I don’t know what ol’ Gabe is doing trying to meet a 13 year old girl in the dead of night without telling anyone, you’d think if he’s got that much free time on his hands he could be spending it with his son.

I don’t know how those points in Ladybug’s power profile are awarded or what they mean, but you can tell this is a fan magazine. Official sources would have put her at a 10.

Standard House of Villains page! Most of these were good episodes but I’m deeply offended Riposte isn’t on here. Maybe her motives weren’t dramatic and cartoonish enough to be up in the ranks with Glaciator and Gorizilla?

“Cat Noir’s dad is also the evil Hawk Moth”, huh? I mean that’s not WRONG, but is it really something to put in his power profile when Adrien doesn’t even know yet??? Feels like we’re kinda jumping the gun on the poor boy. What if he picks up this magazine?

Apparently he’s one point weaker than Ladybug (seriously???), two points faster, equally as agile, one point less skilled and two points less cool. Despite all those lesses he still comes out at an equal 9, which is a relief! These kids are a team, putting either of them below the other would have been a big no.

I did the colouring page too, naturally. Je suis un artiste.

Now we’ve got a page fresh from the Ladyblog, a Miraculous quiz! Not a lot of excitement, but it’s nice to see Alya getting her own section.

I like that the qualifications of “you could be Ladybug herself!” are knowing what city Marinette lives in and what school she goes to. Well done, Mari! You’re doing your best!!!

TEACHER I AM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I gotta say, I’m not so sure about decorating donuts with fondant. I’ve never tried it so I could be wrong, but it feels like rolled icing instead of frosting(?) would be too heavy for an entire donut. The texture is totally different.

I mean I guess if you’re going to load your kids up on sugar you might as well go all the way. They’re going to look like they’ve eaten something horrible with all that black fondant, but they’ll have fun. Adrien would love these.

WHERE’S NINO. THIS IS JUST UNFAIR. You’ll have four out of five heroes, then a double of Marinette and Tikki? Maybe this just goes to show how little memorable dialogue Carapace has.

Though if “Spots On!” is Marinette’s dialogue and not Ladybug’s, why are the other transformation phrases attributed to Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instead of Alya and Chloé? Surely they could have picked something better for Marinette to justify having her on this list twice instead of Nino.

The next page brings us one of those flowchart quizzes! And ouch, yet again the absence of the other heroes is obvious. I can understand not including Chloé here since she’s technically not a “friendly” character yet, but no Nino? Alya and Marinette are close friends, but Adrien doesn’t really hang out with them without Nino around. Having the three of them together just seems strange.

I do like the little fashion page! They’re all cute and affordable and easy to find on the high street here. I’d love to see how other issues of this magazine are structured; is there a different fashion spot every time? Styles to channel each individual hero would be adorable.

Moving on to a tutorial for a Ladybug notebook! I would have made this, but I didn’t have the time nor a notebook to stick it to.

Between this and the donuts, it seems weird that these designs are based on, like... an actual beetle, eyes and antennae and all. Shouldn’t it be Ladybug’s symbol? These come across more like “fun animals” arts ‘n’ crafts instead of themed after Miraculous specifically. I think if I made this (or decorated the donuts) I’d miss out the head and match the spot pattern to Ladybug’s symbol. 

The hidden message design is adorable though. I can see this being a craft kids are super proud of.

Another activity page! I didn’t have a go at these but they’re pretty standard. It’s cute that the coded message designs are the same as the stickers and nail decals!

Also, apparently Ladybug’s ‘secret’ is “LB mask + heart + CN mask”, which was (somehow) stolen by Volpina. Is that the secret Hawk Moth was talking about earlier in the magazine? Is he blackmailing Ladybug with revealing she has a crush on Chat Noir? How did Volpina ‘steal’ this secret? Is LadyNoir finally reciprocated???? THIS IS A WHOLE EPISODE IN ITSELF, I NEED ANSWERS--

Next page we have an ad for another girly magazine (Quizzes! LOLs! Celebs! Cringes! Puzzles!). I think I’ll pass, no matter how appealing that giant microphone pen is. 

And a “Miraculous Identity” quiz! Tikki’s apparently super fickle with her wielders, three seasons of relentlessly praising Marinette and now she’s telling us we’re the Chosen Ones. You can’t fool me with those big ol’ eyes.

My inner superhero is Marvellous Fox, by the way. Though yet again I’m noticing we don’t have turtle options...................

And on the back cover... the memes. Oh, sweet lord, the memes. They’re hashtag-SoRelatable! And I can cut them out to keep! Oh boy!!!

Is this what kids do when they have limited internet access? Cut fresh memes out of magazines and carry them around? I need to know.

That’s a very sinister Ladybug at the bottom of the page though. What’s-- What’s she going to do to me if I don’t cut out and keep these memes. Ladybug what are you going to do if I d--

Well that brings us to the end of the magazine! And yet again I’m surprised by how much time it takes to just put a bunch of photos together and write about them.

This is a neat little magazine all in all! The ‘free gifts’ are pretty nice, there’s a fair amount of content and the whole thing is pretty cute for young fans of the show. I could see myself buying this again - if it ever shows up on shelves, Miraculous is so scarce around here that I fully expect it to disappear again after this one issue - just for the free junk, but it would be interesting to see how they’d structure different issues too!

I notice we never did get that promised tutorial on how to draw Pollen; the one advertised on the cover. Was the “draw your favourite Kwami” activity supposed to cover that? I’m not sure that really counts.

If you got this far, thanks for joining me on this Miraculous journey! We’ll meet again whenever I get another piece of weird ML merch to cover. Bien joué!

[everlarkficexchange]

You Belong with Me - Prompt 10

Written by: @iliveilaughiloveiread on tumblr, colleenegan25 on AO3

Prompt by: Anonymous

Prompt 10: Based on “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift music video: Katniss is Lucas Till’s character, she has a relationship with Gale, but she doesn’t really like being with him. Peeta is pining for her, like Taylor Swift’s character, observing them and think he and K belong together. 

AN: This prompt was fun for me because this song was popular when I first began dating my husband. Also I used one of my ex-boyfriends for some of Gale’s annoying traits. Thanks to @butrfac14 for being my beta and turning my ramblings into a coherent story. Also thanks to @everlarkficexchange for running this awesome thing.

Rating: General with some cursing. Douchebag boyfriend warning

Disclaimer: This is a fandom work and I own nothing.  

You Belong With Me

Wednesday

“Hey Kat, how’s your week been?” Peeta smiled as he saw her approach their favorite booth at Sae’s.

“Exhausting. I can’t wait to eat some real food,” Katniss said, plopping her backpack down on the booth. It was a weekly tradition that he and Katniss eat lunch together now that they didn’t live in the dorms and share all their meals.

“Uh Kat I know you’re always hungry and all, but what exactly are you talking about?” Peeta questions his best friend of 3 years.

“Well you know how Gale gets with food. No caffeine, no nitrates, no refined sugars and definitely nothing fried.” she trailed off

“Oh yes I know ‘his body is a temple.’ I mean what kind of a freak doesn’t eat chocolate?! No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But what does that have to do with you?” Peeta was concerned.

“We’ve been cooking together more, and he came to the grocery store with me last week so I only bought stuff that he would eat too. But then I realized that I’m starving all the time because I am not a woman who can sustain herself on vegetables and quinoa.” Katniss let out an exasperated sigh.

“Duh! How, after 2 years, does he not realize that?” Peeta is indignant on her behalf. It’s one thing for someone to put limits on their own diet, but forcing them on someone else was uncalled for. And anyone who knew Katniss knew she needed to eat.

“I think Gale thinks he’s changing me. Maybe he is a little but I just don’t think I can be the matching kale smoothies for breakfast partner he’s envisioning me to be.”

“Well Kat, I can’t imagine why he’d even want you to be one of those girls. Lucky for you I already ordered us some Irish nachos–which should be arriving any minute.”

“You’re the best!” Katniss smiled up at Peeta.

~If you can see I’m the one who understands you~

Second Wednesday

Katniss is waiting for him in their booth. “Peeta I need you”

Peeta coughs at how that sounds, “What do you need?”

“Will you come to pre-bowl after this? I have to miss bowling league tomorrow night because I have an exam. You know Jo will kill me if I mess with our team’s chances of first place this year.“

“Of course, but aren’t you cutting it a little close? Don’t your pre-bowl numbers have to be in at least 24 hours ahead of time?”

“Look at you, Peeta! You already know the bowling league rules without even playing. Yes I am cutting it close but I hate going down there by myself, so I waited until I knew you were free.”

Peeta doesn’t even bother to question why she didn’t ask Gale to go with her. He’s too excited about having some one on one time with her that lasts longer than their weekly lunch dates.

After an hour of bowling, talking, and laughing Peeta was feeling great. Lighter than he has all week.

“Thanks for hanging out with me while I did that! You always make me feel better.” Katniss smiled and gave him a hug before walking back towards her apartment. It’s only once he got home that Peeta began to wonder what was going on that made Katniss need to feel better.

  ~Been here all along so why can’t you see~

Third Wednesday

Katniss happily munches on Sae’s famous buffalo chicken sandwich and fries. “Is there a wrong way to make a bed?” she asks her friend.

“Huh?” Peeta’s mouth is full of fries. He finishes chewing. “What do you mean? You know I always make my bed. My mom drilled that routine into us as children.”

“Right, that’s why I’m asking you. Is there a specific ‘correct,’ (using her fingers to make air quotes) way to make a bed?”

Peeta shakes his head,, “I don’t think so. I think the military has certain routines and so do hotels.  But for most people as long as the sheets and blankets are straightened out they consider that a made bed. Why are we talking about this? Did you start watching HGTV or something?”

“No it’s just… Gale really likes the bed made. And it’s all the same to me to just leave the sheets and blankets in a mess since that’s how they’ll be as soon I go back to bed. I know that’s not his preference, so this morning when he was in the shower I made the bed. Just to be nice, you know? I’m sure that it was a little sloppy but I thought it looked good. Then without saying a word to me Gale walked back into the bedroom and pulled the covers back off before proceeding to make the bed again.” he just undid everything and made it again.”

Peeta just stared at Katniss.

“Seriously? He remade the bed after you already made it? Kat that’s really fucked up. What kind of a person doesn’t acknowledge when something thoughtful has been done for them? Then just corrects it because they think they can do it better?”

“Right? I appreciate your indignation. Gale just shrugged it off and told me I was being too sensitive.” Katniss shakes her head at the memory.

“Well on behalf of all bed makers, let me make it clear that redoing it after someone else has already made the bed is rude and strange.” Peeta thinks to himself I would never take her for granted like that.

Katniss smiles, “Thanks Peet.”

~You belong with me ~

Fourth Wednesday

“How was your weekend Kat? You never made it over to Murphy’s on Saturday.”

“I know sorry. Ugh. Gale dragged me to another Frat party,” Katniss rolls her eyes. “I feel like now that we’re 21 we shouldn’t have to go to them anymore. But Gale insists it’s an important part of his ‘brotherhood.’ How was the band?”

“Really great actually! They did some acoustic songs that you would have loved. They were hauntingly beautiful.” Peeta smiles wistfully.

“So jealous! I was stuck listening to the latest Ariana Grande song on repeat all night. Drinking shitty beer.”

“That sounds awful. Why didn’t you just leave?” asks Peeta.

“I tried! I told Gale I couldn’t handle it anymore when the sister sorority’s new pledge class showed up. Then he told me that I wasn’t being a supportive girlfriend by bailing on him on a Saturday night.”

Bailing?! Peeta shook his head. How could Gale claim she was bailing when she showed up to a party she clearly didn’t want to go to even when she had other plans.

“If you ask me he wasn’t being very supportive of your interests.” Peeta mumbles half under his breath.

“Yeah, we got into a fight and I ended up just sucking it up and staying for a little longer until I could go home and just go to bed,” sighed Katniss. Doesn’t that sound like quality time with your partner.”

“Sorry to hear that. I didn’t mean to bring up any drama.”

“Not your fault, but I promise that I’ll be at the next show with you even if there is a frat party.” Katniss says.

~I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like

And she’ll never know your story like I do’ ~

Fifth Wednesday

Peeta walks in to Sae’s and finds Katniss already waiting at their booth surrounded by books, papers and her laptop.

“Hey, you look busy,” he says as he slides in across from her.

“This semester is really kicking my ass Peet. All my classes are moving at full force and the readings and homework have really been piling up.” Katniss is many things but she is not a procrastinator, so Peeta realizes that she must have a ton of work to do if she’s bringing it with her today.”

“If you’re too busy for lunch it’s okay Katniss, we can take a week off. I don’t want you to get behind on your studies,” Peeta looks genuinely concerned.

“No!” Katniss practically shouts. “This lunch is the only thing saving my sanity. Gale and I have been fighting a lot over anything and everything. This week he’s annoyed at how much homework I’m doing and thinks that I’m using it as a way to avoid him.”

“Seriously? That guy can be a real piece of work,” Peeta shakes his head in disgust. A tiny part of his heart skips a beat knowing that he’s the thing that is saving her sanity.

“Yeah I don’t know if maybe I am trying to avoid him subconsciously. He’s making me feel all nervous and stressed to be around, which I do not need on top of my heavy class load this semester,” Katniss puts her head down on the wood table. “Peet, I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Peeta tries not to panic seeing his my friend in such distress. He moves over to her side of the booth and starts rubbing circles on her back.

“Do what?” He asks quietly.

“The fighting with Gale is exhausting. We’re never on the same page about anything. He gets mad about the food I buy and eat, and how I clean the apartment. And now he thinks that I’m doing too much homework?  I can’t keep doing this, it’s too much.”

“Katniss, you should tell Gale all this. I’m sure he’s not intentionally trying to stress you out. Remember relationships are supposed to make you happy and feel supported, not angry and stressed. I know you’ve been dating a long time but you’re not married. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay with him just because you’ve been with him a long time.” Peeta shocks himself by saying that out loud. He quickly adds, “Sorry if that got a little preachy. I just hate seeing you upset”

Katniss shakes her head and gives a weak smile. “It’s okay. Can we just eat and talk about something else to get my mind off this?”

“I know just the thing! Put your books away, we can go to the library after lunch. Let’s get milkshakes and cheese fries while I tell you all about Rye’s antics last weekend. Spoiler alert - he had to go to the hospital again.”

Katniss laughs at Rye’s ridiculousness while drinking her chocolate milkshake. After they finish she smiles at Peeta and squeezes his hand, “Thank you. That was just what I needed.”

  ~I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself hey isn’t this easy~

Sixth Wednesday

Peeta is reading a book in their booth when he sees her walk through the door. Or at least it’s someone who vaguely looks like Katniss. She’s dragging her feet, her backpack looks like it’s weighing her down, her face looks bewildered

“Katniss, are you okay?”

“Well I finally did it.”

“Did what?”

“I broke up with Gale.” Peeta tries to keep his face neutral when his feelings are really swinging from elation to shock to mortification at his elation.

“Okay…how’d that go? How are you feeling?”

“I thought I’d feel relief and I thought he’d see it too. We’d been fighting a lot, and we’d barely spent any time together anymore. And the time that we did spent together we weren’t enjoying each other’s company you know? It just seemed like it was time. He’s a rational, logical person and I thought when I laid it out there like that he would agree that we’d be happier apart.”

“But he didn’t…?” Peeta prompted.

“No! He acted so offended! And shocked. Shocked - Peeta! How in the hell could be shocked that I want to break up when all he does is act frustrated and disappointed with me? He said he had started planning our future together, and that it was selfish of me to want to throw that all away. I told him that I was sorry but I just didn’t think I could be the partner he thought I should be. By the end of my rational explanation for why it seemed obvious we’d be happier apart he was almost in tears.”

“Gale was crying?” Peeta was very comfortable with his emotions but Gale was not. He was much more stoic and often seemed like emotions were a waste of time. Peeta had always thought that’s why the guy became a computer science major. Computers didn’t have feelings.

“I know right! He kept begging me to tell him what to change and was so insistent that we could fix it. But I was just too worn out so I told him the time for that had come and gone.” She sighed, “sorry for all the word vomit but it’s just I’m so tired.”

“It’s okay, Fall break will be here in 2 days. I’m proud of you. While it seems like your breakup conversation was difficult at least it’s over now.” Peeta says reassuringly.

“I wish it was over.”

“What do you mean? I thought you said you broke up.” Peeta looks at Katniss puzzled.

“We did. But Gale basically said he wasn’t accepting that outcome. So now to prove me wrong he’s trying to do all these things to show how much he cares about me and that we should be together. I know he’s trying to kind and romantic, but it’s feeling clingy and like he won’t let go.”

“What’s he doing exactly?”

“Well the day after our breakup he left me a mix cd under the door of my apartment. The next day he left some chocolates with Johanna to give to me.  Then yesterday I found a massage gift certificate in my mailbox with a note that said, ‘I know you’ve been stressed out, take some time to relax.’ I know it’s all coming from a good place, but why did it take a break up for him to realize that he should care about me? Am I a heartless bitch if all these nice gestures just make me more annoyed about the way he acted the past few months.

“No, of course not. Your feelings are valid, if Gale wanted to do some nice romantic things he had plenty of opportunities. If you’re still confused about your feelings that’s okay too. You’re only 21, Katniss. You don’t have to have everything figured out yet.”

“Thanks Peeta, for everything. I don’t know how I would’ve survived this semester so far without you.” Peeta ignores the beat his heart skipped and comforts his friend.

“Kat go home, see Prim, recharge. It’s Fall break next week, so just take some time to be away from all the college drama. I think it’ll really help you relax and prioritize.” Peeta advises.

  ~And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town   

I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down

You say you’re fine

I know you better then that~

A month later…Tenth Wednesday

Katniss sits in their booth anxiously rolling a flower between her hands.

Peeta is taken aback when he sees her wearing a dress with her hair down and flowing.

“What’s all this?” he asks as he sits down.

“I got my priorities straight.” She hands him the flower and he’s surprised to see that it’s a dandelion. Where did she find one this late in the fall? The better question is why is she giving him a flower?

“And…?” he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I think what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time. Peeta would you like to go out with me on Saturday night?” Katniss looks hopeful.

“Yes, of course. Of course I would.” Peeta beams at her.

“Great!” She smiles back at him. “Also I already ordered the Irish nachos.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite person!” Peeta 

  ~I think I know where you belong

I think I know it’s with me

Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can’t you see

You belong with me~

[sambinnie]

How are you? I wish I had something more incisive to greet you with, but the speed with which everything occurs means it would be irrelevant, distasteful or a viral punchline a few hours later. 

I have been to the cinema for the first time in six months, and continued my regular habit exactly where I’d left it by attending a first-thing-in-the-morning screening of Tenet with only one other person in the cinema, sitting miles away and also on their own (the only way to watch a film, I say). Fucking Tenet, though. I mean, I have really missed going to the cinema, partly because I love films and partly because there’s such a small-scale decadence to occasionally going there solo at 10am on a Tuesday morning, and those tiny pleasures (which, of course, are currently no longer tiny) are just the things to keep me going.

But the film. Oh god, the film. I wish… I wish I could collate my thoughts into something which doesn’t just rapidly descend into a frustrated scream. I wish success didn’t mean people couldn’t say no to you. I wish I liked Nolan’s Batman films, for a start, since so many seem to get so much from them (see also: Breaking Bad, Killing Eve and Line of Duty), but I’ve always found them silly, really dumbly written, and badly made — I can’t hear much of the dialogue, and the action sequences are frequently shot with so many cuts and movement that’s it’s impossible to follow, something George Miller could teach him about so beautifully — and they’re so bloody solemn. Gotham is a grim place, but there’s a boring pomposity in fetishing that one-note grimness, and Nolan has it nailed. Having a character genuinely laugh at something doesn’t render your film light-weight; it creates contrast, and human engagement, something these serious (but sci-fi)/serious (but fantasy)/serious (but adult man dresses in a cape) films too often lack, as if a strained, one-note way of speaking will cancel out the frivolous, actually enjoyable genre aspect of the film. 

That lack of humanity is shared by Tenet. After a certain point, I simply don’t care. Is the nuke going to explode before Batman can something something something? *shrugs* Will the Tenet team manage to stop some sort of bad thing happening? Yes? No? Don’t mind, fine either way. Is Tenet nice to look at? Yes, but in a sort of “Christ, are we still holding up billionaire oligarch lifestyles as an aspirational thing at the moment?” very pre-2020 mood. Does it make sense? No, but that alone doesn’t mean it isn’t good — some great films, and some great Nolan films, take several goes to fully enjoy, and some are more enjoyable with every watch. Do I give a single fig about the outcome of the film or for any character after 20 minutes? Nope.

One major issue is that Nolan has made Inception, a masterpiece of film-making meta-commentary. How, once you’ve watched Cobb and Ariadne discuss the leaping-about way of conversations in films/dreams (stopping and starting in completely new locations) can you take the same thing seriously between Neil (Neil. Neil.) and The Protagonist? (I would like to see how many women read this screenplay along the way and just gave a small, inner sigh at the main character being named 'The Protagonist’.) As their boring expositional chats chop between pavement and public transport and plaza, one can’t help remembering how well Nolan previously pointed this out, yet has reverted to that self-conscious device to no benefit at all. It’s like he’s never seen his own films.

Similarly, the much-lauded aeroplane scene is completely without the necessary ingredient of tension because we’ve already been shown what happens, not just in other films but in this one, about fifteen minutes before. It’s like Bill & Ted promising they’d do whatever it was they needed right now, but in the future, and their momentary problem being solved by a loose sense of timey-wimey future self-ness. There’s nothing at stake at the airport, and between us being shown what happens and the scene beginning, nothing has happened for us to even hope the mission isn’t completed. It felt like the criminally underused Himesh Patel was in an instructional video for fuss-free plane-borrowing; compare it to the similar scene in Casino Royale (perhaps the only modern Bond film worth bothering with) and the flatness and mechanical nature of Tenet is all too apparent. The twists of the film, such as they are, are likewise foreseeable for even the least Pauline Kael among us. Who could it be under the mask? WHO COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? 

The Prestige, an earlier film of Nolan’s, is such a contrast to this that I’m stunned I didn’t watch it the moment I came home to clear my brain out. It’s smart, logical, moving, tense, engaging, and if there are plot holes (probably) I didn’t care because a) I really, really cared about what happened to each person, each of whom spoke and behaved like humans, not AI script-bots, and b) it gave this household a v useful shorthand nickname for anyone who wanted something one day but completely inexplicably changed their mind or denied it the next. I recommend it. I do not recommend Tenet. 

Of course, I feel guilty for caring so much about this, and writing about some fucking multi-squillion-dollar film with everything else happening. I am feeling extremely, crushingly ineffectual presently, and have completely come off all social media which from time to time would remind me of the efficacy of protest, of letter-writing and petition-signing and contacting one’s MP, so change feels hopeless and November’s blows seem inevitable. I am trying to knit my mind back together before then with small acts of body-work: cooking and running, drawing and swimming. I worry that I will drown in guilt and fear if I stop for a moment. It is pathetic, but I am still breathing, for now. 

My cynicism-filter is also at its finest mesh, because it cannot cope with the reality of our leaders and the UK’s political discourse: only small-fry stuff gets through, the Sali Hugheses and Jack Monroes, small-time fantasists who manipulate and virtue-signal to build lives of back-slapping consumerist celebration and Twitter Power Leader Boards. I’ve listened again to The Purity Spiral, and also to Desperately Seeking Sympathy, and wondered how many intelligent, kind-hearted people waste time supporting these innocent, victimised mini-Trumps just because they use the right buzzwords and also appear to hate the Tories. 

I wish I could give you some of the lights in my heart that keep me going — the occasional pure moon-eating delight of the people I live with — but here are more feasible treats instead.

Mike Birbiglia’s podcast Working It Out is a treasure, particularly the first episode with Ira Glass, which I think everyone who works in a creative field will listen to and wish they had an Ira Glass to critique their work. I like the idea of documenting works in progress, and not carrying any shame when things don’t work yet.

The Rose Matafeo episode of The Horne Section podcast, because I love her and I love stupid and brilliant songs. Several housemates have discovered Taskmaster too, which makes this a nice bridge.

Sarah & Duck, the BBC programme for tiny children. We never really used kids’ TV when they were little, but this now functions as a salve for when we’ve watched something truly terrifying like Poirot or a Marvel film, and besides the fact that Duck is absolutely fucking hilarious, the animation is staggeringly beautiful. The Islamic geometric patterns of the garden hedge; the soft blue-green hum of the “glow” section of the library, filled with lamps and luminescent books; the motes of dust caught in the sun-rays of Scarf Lady’s window. It’s a balm. 

Thanks to two housemates becoming great cooks over lockdown, I’ve rediscovered lots of my cookbooks and found 2015’s Simply Nigella to be a real corker. The rice with sprouts, chilli and pineapple, the drunken noodles and the Thai noodles with cinnamon and prawn are worth the entry fee alone. It’s quite chicken- and pomegranate seed-heavy, but even if you don’t like those, it’s extremely nice to be eating something that isn’t on our usual five-meal rota (and is also extremely delicious).

I was solo for some of the summer, and managed to watch a few excellent films, including BlacKkKlansman, The Peanut Butter Falcon and Love & Friendship. Cannot recommend these highly enough (*whispers* particularly the latter because it’s as painfully sharp as Austen should be, and we’d made the mistake of watching Emma. and I’m still so cross I’m not sure I’m ready to discuss everything that was wrong with it publicly yet).

I read Esther Williams’ memoir, The Million Dollar Mermaid. Perfect for anyone who loves that period of Hollywood, and full of juicy (as well as some pretty traumatic) episodes from the swimmer and actress’s amazing life. To give you a sense of it, chapter one is called “Esther Williams, Cary Grant, and LSD”. Super good. 

I hope you all keep well, pals x

[jae-bummer]

The Most Important Thing (Hogwarts!AU)

Request: Hello🌺 I had this idea just now and was wondering if you could write it, please? It's a Hogwarts BTS au where you are very studious and get one of the highest grades on everything, so you are tutoring Jimin since he is struggling in a couple of subjects, but you don't know him very well even though you have had several tutoring sessions. However, Jimin is supposed to learn how to conjure a patronus, but he is having difficulty & doesn't know if he has any memories that would suffice

Member: BTS Jimin x Y/N

Type: Fluff

It was the third time you had read the same sentence in Your Defense Against the Dark Arts book, but to no avail, the subject matter was not retaining in your head. You blinked your heavy lids, looking up from the text and scanning the stacks that you had hidden yourself among hours ago. You were too distracted.

And he still wasn’t there. 

Granted, at this point, you had made the beginning of your tutoring sessions more of a hide and seek venture. You would hide somewhere in the library and Jimin would have to find you. More often than not, it could take him up to a half of an hour to locate you if he was on his own. If his Gryffindor friends were with him, well, it could take more or less time depending on their mood. 

You rolled your eyes as you slid back the sleeve of your robes to check the time again. He was forty five minutes late on this occasion. You knew the Hufflepuff quidditch team had a match today, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he was mildly tardy, but this was too much. 

You began to grind your teeth as you stood, teetering on a chair to examine the muffled chuckles coming from the entryway of the library. You narrowed your eyes as your focus landed on the struggling Park Jimin, fighting off his friend, Kim Taehyung, who pulled him in the opposite direction. You climbed down from your chair and landed with a plop onto the cushion and crossed yours arms. Oh, this was cute. 

You didn’t know Jimin very well, but with what you did know, you weren’t impressed. He was a struggling student, if you were to phrase it kindly, and he definitely needed you more than you needed him. He was barely passing in most subjects, with his specialties in Herbology and Charms, but couldn’t for the life of him manage to get positive marks in one of your better subjects, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

You tried to make yourself look busy as Jimin and Taehyung rounded the corner, both exclaiming as the nearly knocked into the pile of books you had stacked around you. You looked up and through your lashes at them, putting on your best unamused face as you made eye contact. Jimin ran a nervous hand through his perfect hair and bit his plush lips. 

God, why did he have to be so attractive. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he whispered apologetically. “The game went over because our seeker got injured and Kookie-”

“Are you prepared?” you asked, cutting him off and sliding a stack of books over so he could set his bag down. You liked to pretend that you didn’t have time for his nonsense, but really you hung on every word. As you had mentioned, you didn’t know the man very well, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t want to. At your core, maybe you were just too socially awkward to discuss anything other than school. Non school subjects were unsafe. They could easily develop into a friendship. And you really didn’t need friends like Park Jimin. 

Or rather...distractions like Park Jimin. 

Need you mention the perfect hair or incredibly kissable lips again? 

Taehyung looked from you to Jimin with lifted brows. “Uh, I’m going to go over there to study...” He motioned to a corner in the opposite side of the library. “Like...way over there.”

You gave a short nod to the boy you considered as a side item of nuisance and sighed. Your heavy breath sent a cloud of dust from atop one of the books toward Jimin. He let out a string of short and adorable sneezes before settling in the chair beside you. 

“I’m never really prepared,” he sighed, pulling a few spare bits of parchment from his bag. “If you couldn’t guess.”

You remained quiet as you flipped through the pages of your textbook, eying a few sections you had marked for study purposes. 

“How was your day?” Jimin asked cautiously. ��I didn’t see you at the game, but-”

“Can you tell me the five signs of a werewolf?” you blurted, looking up from the page. Smooth, Y/N. Real smooth. 

You looked up warily from the textbook and to Jimin’s handsome face. He looked taken aback for a moment before he glanced sadly down to his hands. 

“I...uh...um...” he hummed. “Well no...”

You bit your lip and looked at your textbook again. You knew that would be the first question on the Defense Against the Dark Arts section of your O.W.L.s. If Jimin hadn’t figured that out by now, you knew he was in trouble. 

“I have a question,” Jimin whispered after a few moments of silence. He tilted his head as he rested his chin on his palm. “Non school related.” 

“Is it really necessary?” you grumbled. “We’re already behind. You were forty five minutes late.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed with a small pout. “But I mean...it’s not really necessary, but I’d like to know-”

“If it’s not necessary, then let’s not waste any more time on it,” you nodded. “Difference between an anti-jinx and a counter-jinx?”

“Well, I know this one, but hold on,” he hummed, furrowing his brows. “Why do you only ever talk to me about school stuff? You know we’re allowed to be friends.” 

“Because you need help with studying, Jimin,” you sighed. You shut the book and directed your gaze toward him. “Not with making friends.”

Jimin’s eyes grew wide as he leaned back in his chair. “Studying doesn’t have to be the most important thing.”

“It does when O.W.L.s are coming up,” you nodded, chewing on your lip nervously. A small voice in the back of your head was shouting at you. You didn’t need to be so rude to him. You envied people like Jimin, capable of making friends, being loved by everyone he met, being a genuinely good person. But you knew too much of a social life was his downfall. That was why he struggled in his classes. He was too busy being known by everyone, to know anything himself. You were friendly with books and that friendship reflected in your grades. That was the most important thing. 

“And we need to really start thinking if we’re going to come up with a plan on how you’re going to pass.” 

You stood anxiously near Hargid’s hut and wiped your nervous palms against your jeans. It was a weekend morning and you were stuck on the castle grounds (a surprise to no one) with your bags placed under a nearby tree. You paced back and forth as nerves electrified your muscles, keeping you incapable of remaining still. 

You had had an idea as you were studying last night, and it may just have saved Park Jimin’s butt. 

His tight, muscular, perky...

“I never took you for the picnic type,” Jimin chuckled as he eased down the side of the hill toward your spot. “Or the sunlight type really. What was so urgent that we had to meet on a Saturday?”

“I know everyone was headed to Hogsmeade,” you sighed. “But I think I know how you’re going to pass the O.W.L.s.”

Jimin lifted his brows and crossed his arms. His jaw was slightly ajar as he internalized your words. “Well hell, that is urgent then.”

He crossed the few feet between the two of you and dropped his bag near yours. He landed with a thud onto the grass and leaned against the tree you had marked as your meeting point. “Come on then, you aren’t one to beat around the bush. What’s the plan?”

You readjusted your focus from Jimin’s glowing skin and to the thought that had brought you both here. 

“Alright,” you nodded, as you began to pace again. “We’ve focused on the written part of the O.W.L.s the past couple of weeks, right? And that hasn’t necessarily been going well.”

“Thanks for putting it so gently,” he giggled. “But yes, the information isn’t sticking well.”

“I was thinking about you playing quidditch,” you began, but Jimin’s face changed, causing you to halt your words. His normally positive expression turned into a broad grin and his eyes soon disappeared into crescents.  

“You were thinking of me in your spare time?” he teased. “I didn’t think you thought of anything outside of school.”

“I was thinking about you playing quidditch,” you continued numbly. “And I realized how hands on you were. How tactile your learning and strengths are...which made me think. We need to switch up how you’re studying. We need to focus on the practical exam.”

“Right,” he nodded. “The actual spell casting. I’m pretty okay at that.”

“During your practical portion,” you explained. “There are two pieces of possible extra credit, the Riddikulus spell and the Patronus charm. Now we go over all of the spells you’ll be performing in actual class. You’ll need a little practice, but not anything I don’t think you can’t handle. The Patronus charm on the other hand...that is going to be your secret weapon. That is going to be how you pass.”

“The...Patronus charm?” Jimin asked, his expression not as confident as it was previously. 

“A Patronus is an ancient bit of magic,” you nodded, squinting as you began to mentally read a page of your textbook. “It’s a projection of your most positive feelings. It’s used to ward off the most negative type of magic. It’s really quite difficult. Most witches and wizards will never be able to produce a corporeal Patronus, but-”

“Slow down professor,” he interrupted. “Define corporeal.”

“Corporeal,” you hummed. “A Patronus that is fully formed. It takes the shape of an animal. The animal varies from person to person and will most often reflect your personality. Non-corporeal Patronuses are just a wisp of white light and aren’t nearly as powerful, but they are easier to produce. Honestly, I think the test practitioner will be excited if you can do either.”

“So...you want me...to produce one of the most advanced bits of magic I can possibly produce,” Jimin said slowly. “When I can’t even remember one, let alone five signs of a werewolf?”

“What do we have to lose?” you grinned. 

Jimin plopped onto the ground and yawned, his resolve beginning to visibly weaken as the sky turned to dusk. 

“It’s useless, I might as well just admit it now,” he sighed. “What happens if I don’t pass the O.W.L.s? Do I get kicked out of school?”

“I think you have to repeat some classes,” you groaned, landing along side him. “Or maybe get put into some remedial ones? Honestly I never had much purpose in knowing.”

“Gee, thanks,” he sighed. “Sorry I’m so stupid.”

You snapped your head up, immediate fire lighting into your stomach. You had spent the entirety of your Saturday with Jimin, listening to him shout “Expecto Patronum” over and over again, while trying to help him trigger every happy memory he ever had. At one point, he had produced a weak white mist, but it wasn’t enough to fulfill your plans of getting him to pass.

“You aren’t stupid,” you said sternly, turning to look directly into his eyes. “Never say that about yourself again.”

He nodded sadly, looking away from you so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact. “I just don’t...I just don’t think I have any memories to suffice, Y/N.”

You titled your head as you fiddled with your wand. Admittedly, you had studied the art of creating a Patronus since you had figured out what it was and had only produced your animal form once. Maybe you were foolish to expect so much from your fellow student. 

“It’s okay Jimin,” you whispered. You placed your hand lightly onto his as he clutched his wand. He looked over to you, his cheeks covered in a blush you were unfamiliar with. “I wasn’t telling you it was difficult just to humor you...it really is. One moment you have to channel...that made you so exceedingly happy...and filled you up with so much love.”

“It’s asking a lot,” he nodded with a small chuckle. “One breathe...where I felt like I was flying?” 

You nodded as well, unsure of where you should go from there. “You can keep practicing on your own...see if you can figure it out? It’s easier when you aren’t under stress.”

“Maybe...maybe if I try one more time,” he nodded. “But um...can you help me with something first?”

“Anything,” you smiled. “I wouldn’t be a very good tutor if-”

You were cut off as JImin landed his lips swiftly upon yours. The kiss left you breathless as he deepened it, completely caught off guard by his sudden action. His mouth was soft and warm atop yours, working to emphasize every feeling you weren’t aware he had. Your stomach felt like it had been filled to the brim with fizzing whizbees as he continued to kiss you, a mix of butterflies and explosions leaving you dizzy. 

As suddenly as the kiss had begun, it had ended, eliciting a soft groan from your lips as he pulled away. You opened your heavy lids to see a massive grin had found it’s place on Jimin’s previously defeated expression

“Expecto,” he leveled confidently, lifting his hand into the air. “Patronum!”

You gasped as a small white light began to seep from the tip of Jimin’s wand, growing in brightness and size as he held tight to the handle. Time seemed to slow as you watched the white light begin to shift and grow more impressive in size, eventually forming into a circular figure and beginning to scamper across the air. 

“What is it!” Jimin shouted, his excitement breaking through your focus. 

“I think...” you hummed, squinting your eyes. “I think it’s a chipmunk?”

“A chipmunk,” Jimin croaked, his wand falling to his side. The light slowly began to fade as his chipmunk disappeared and the experience had ended. “A....a chipmunk?”

“Jimin!” you nearly screeched, rushing toward him and throwing your arms around his neck. “You produced it! A corporeal Patronus! You’re going to have no problem passing your O.W.L.s!” 

“I did...didn’t I?” he gasped, wrapping his arms around your waist. You furrowed your brows, realizing what happened in a span of fifteen minutes and attempted to center yourself back into reality. You dropped your hands from Jimin’s shoulders and attempted to move backwards. You weren’t used to acting this way, especially not with him. Jimin noticed your shift in movement, but pulled you in tighter and smiled. 

“All I needed was a feeling that made me feel like I was flying,” he grinned. “Not too much to ask for.”

[flower-pit-blog]

caroline

summary: a gorgeous woman, you're beautiful. and he wants her to be his –  inosai university au, told in snippets and parts

notes: based around aminé's caroline, but this is not a song fic. i haven't written naruto fic in forever, but i love this pairing too much not to have written anything about them. i do not use capital letters when writing, it is a stylistic choice.

ff.net or ao3 version

i. bad thing, fine as hell, thick as fuck

ino was all curves and soft skin, and even though sai wouldn't openly comment about it like some of the people he knew (kiba, mostly and almost always kiba) he did appreciate it. no he never voiced it, not verbally at least, but always with subtle looks and touches when it was just the two of them.        

he also liked it when ino yelled. when she got bossy and pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer in certain situations. it was different from when sakura did it–when sakura did it he found it the most annoying thing ever–but when ino did it he found himself watching, all too intensely as she yelled at someone about one thing or another.

if you got deep in to his subconscious, you'd find out that he thought it was hot.

he would never say it though, not in a million years.

instead he'd just watch, sipping his tea as she argued with deidara about how even if trends were cyclical, there were somethings that were never going to make a comeback. the way her voice got louder and she got more passionate about the argument.

and then she swore. cursed. something that she rarely did and sai suddenly found himself choking on his tea. as he cleared his throat, he could've sworn he caught ino looking at him with an all too knowing look in her eyes.

ii. don't want to hear about your horoscope or what the future holds

"what's your sign?" ino was supposed to be studying. sai was too. they had a Japanese art history exam, and they were going to proof read each other's essays. it was why they had come to the library together. except, ino was doing everything but studying.

looking up from his computer screen, sai glanced at ino, somewhat unamused by her inability to prep her essay. they had actually been doing poorly in the class, both missing the class multiple times since 'we're both artists, we don't actually need to go to class.'  it was all ino's idea if you asked sai, and that was why they were here now. and it was because of it, sai just ignored her.

it wasn't like she didn't know it anyway. she was the first person to ever actually make a deal out of his birthday anyway.

"so, you're a sagitttarus." ino continued on as if sai had actually answered her and turned her attention back to her computer.

"what time?" sai gave ino a look again. he had been lucky enough to avoid her entire astrology thing that she had been on lately. it was something she and sakura had been indulging in far too much, and he wasn't interested.

so he ignored her again.

"oh come on. don't you think it would be fun?" ino was pouting, kicking one of her legs up from under the table in an effort to other sai just a bit more.

"why would it be fun?" his expression blank, hoping that this got across just how uninterested he was in the idea.

"well, we could know just how compatible we really are." ino offered, raising an eyebrow as she looked at him.

"does it matter?" he knew ino's answer would be yes.

"of course it does. what if it turns out we're not compatible at all? then what."

a pause. sai could see her eyebrows wrinkling. and ino could see that smile crossing his face.

"if we're not compatible, then we'll just break up." sai spoke coolly, his smile still resting on his face.

there was another pause, and he could see ino working through what he said.

"you don't have to take it so seriously, it's just a joke, god, it doesn't matter if we're compatible or not, I like you and that's all that matters." ino huffed just a bit as she turned her attention back to her computer.

 iii. don't want to talk it out, can we fuck it out

"just talk to her, sai." once again, sai was on the phone with sakura talking about this damn ino issue. part of him really just wanted to block sakura's number and be done with it. he had done it many times before, but this time, he couldn't actually bring himself to do it. granted, he would laugh at sakura's advice, or just generally disregard it, in the back of his mind he was trying to take note and see if any of her ideas or suggestions would actually work.

rather than responding to sakura, he simply hung up his phone and turned his attention back to the empty page in his sketch book, trying to take his mind off of the situation between him and his girlfriend.

they had gotten into an argument, over something incredibly trivial, and then it turned in to something bigger. and like always, sai simply told ino that she was right, and he was wrong. that always worked and got her to drop the subject. they would both go do something else to cool down, and then regroup later for a dinner and sex. it worked well that way, for both of them.

this time, it didn't actually follow that pattern though. when he said that she was right and began to turn his attention back to what he had been working on (a new calligraphy piece, some family's motto that he had been commissioned to do) ino became angrier. not the usual angry that he had been used to, where she yelled and got upset and maybe even cried. no, instead she got silent, and left sai to do what he was doing.

it was an odd reaction, but sai paid it no mind.

it took three days for sakura to tell him that ino was still mad at him. and he was honestly surprised, because he had not noticed. well, he noticed that she had been a bit distant from him, but he concluded that it was due to her working on another project. she often got like that when she had due dates that were close.

so he had approached the situation, in an almost awkward manner.

he had promptly gotten an earful from sakura the next day about a text message was not the best way to talk to ino about it. she then accused him if he had taken a page from naruto's (or worse, kiba's) book on how to be a bad boyfriend. he told her maybe and then hung up her call.

that had happened about four days ago.

he hadn't actually talked to ino in about a week, sai realized. they had had small talk, conversations about things that they needed to do–like pick up cat food or wash the dishes in the sink–but not actually talked.

it was sai's fault though, and he knew that. he wasn't entirely sure how to talk to ino. well, he knew how to talk, but not how to talk. not in the way that sakura was saying he talk to ino. he had seen it in romance movies, and even read it in novels. the big moment where the two characters talk it out and then ride off into the sunset like happy fucks.

but he didn't know how to have that conversation with ino.

putting it all in to words, telling her how he felt, and what he understood about the situation. it was almost foreign to him, and it was hard. harder than he had actually thought it would ever be. he didn't really get the concept of having a 'heart to heart', like ino and sakura did whenever the two had gotten in to a fight, and spent their time making up. there would be wine, and telling each other their true feelings, and then the next day the girl's would be back to normal like always.

 and sai, couldn't really see himself sharing a glass of wine with ino and dishing all about what he was feeling. he was fairly certain that ino couldn't really envision the same thing either.

"i'm home." ino called out when she entered their small apartment. she had complained about it when they first moved in, how there wasn't enough room for this or that and how they should've totally just taken her dad's advice about living farther away from campus (and closer to her parent's house) so that they could get a bigger place.

but now, it was home. and ino made sure to voice that every time she entered the apartment.

ino had entered their kitchen, encountering her boyfriend who was surrounded by art magazines and a bowl of, now soggy, cereal. looking up at her, he gave her the small smile, expecting her to go about as she had done for the past week now.

and she did. ino went about making her own bowl of cereal (they needed to go grocery shopping soon if they were both eating cereal for dinner), and joined him at the table, her eyes on her phone as she ate. when she finished she got up and placed her bowl in the sink, ino finally turned to face sai.

"look, we need to talk." this was the most she had spoken to sai in the past week and he turned around to face ino, his bowl of soggy cereal forgotten completely by now. he waited for ino to say something, but instead she gestured to sai.

oh.

it was clear that she meant he needed to talk to her, and he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable about what to say or do. again, he was meeting the fact that he wasn't really sure of what to say or how to express his feelings in a situation like this, and all he could do was keep that smile on his face like always.

his silence wasn't appreciated by ino, as she crossed her arms over her chest, and pouting just a bit. that pout made sai smile a genuine smile. and ino knew that real smile and she could feel her anger flaring up once more.

"are you serious, sai? I haven't talked to you for a week, you have nothing to say to me, and you can only smile when I finally start talking to you? don't you know that I'm upset with you? that i want us to have a serious talk about what the other day?" ino was frustrated, and tired. she hated that this is how they always talked and dealt with arguments. she wanted them to have a real talk about why they got into a fight. for sai to stop with step two of the pillow method and for them to actually talk.

blinking at ino's outburst, sai let the smile fall from his face. she was upset, seriously upset, and he still didn't know exactly what to say about her. he was never good with words. or showing his emotions the way that she wanted him to. getting up, sai made his way over to ino, and reached to brush her hair behind her ear.

"i'm sorry." there was something in his voice that made ino understand that he was serious. that she had only ever heard at certain moments from him. however, she didn't get a chance to comment about it, to try and probe further, as sai pressed his lips against hers.

this time, he was going to let his actions and body do the talking for him. to show ino just how much he understood.

iv. cause we're gonna be all night, fuck a decaf

pizza, chicken, coke cans and cups of coffee sat strewn around the floor of neji's apartment. he had somehow agreed to host their group's, end of the year finals are coming study session and he wasn't necessarily happy with how they were treating the apartment. the only thing that they had truly agreed to do was use coasters for the table. he should've just said no. he should have told them that they couldn't use his pristine apartment.

hell, he should've kicked them out when they showed up. but he hadn't. and now he had to deal with the consequences of the situation.

observing the situation of all his friends, he could feel his eyebrow twitch just a bit. tenten and lee were decidedly not studying, instead working on some dance routine with each other, and he knew that he had to keep his distance, otherwise he would be dragged into it or worse.

as his gaze turned, he caught of shikamaru and chouji, shikamaru had already fallen asleep and chouji was scarfing down what was left of the pizza. he wasn't necessarily surprised about the two's actions, shikamaru was a genius who, no doubt, was unconcerned about the exam and was probably going to ace it anyway. and chouji had already shown everyone what he was going to work on for the next week. as a culinary student, he excelled and they all knew it would be fine for him.

so he let the two of them be, knowing that messing with them or trying to get them to leave would make the situation worse.

his surveying of the room continued, he saw sakura and hinata both helping naruto and he couldn't help but feel bad for them. both of them had big exams in the upcoming week (he could see the bags under both sakura and hinata's eyes) and instead they were taking time out of their studying to help naruto with his. undoubtedly he was struggling with something stupid and trivial, but he had promised hinata that he would get at least a c in al of his classes, so here he was. trying his hardest.

leaving the trio be (though, he made sure to keep a note of where naruto's hands were, and he had to check back in on them to make sure that his hands hadn't wandered or sakura hadn't murdered him) he set his sights on kiba and shino. he could feel his eyebrow twitching as he looked at them.

kiba, despite neji's repeated insistence that he wasn't allowed to bring his dog in his apartment, had brought the dog, claiming that he couldn't study for his psych 420 class without akamaru (and a chuckle at saying the words 420). shino, without even offering an explanation or telling him ahead of time had brought a small terrarium with beetles in it.

and neji didn't question it. he didn't know what shino needed them for, and frankly he didn't want to know.

when his eyes fell on ino and sai, the couple whom had nestled themselves on the corner of the couch he–

wait.

where were ino and sai?

he hadn't heard them leave and had definitely come in like the others, so it didn't make sense for them to have disappeared. it was to his horror that he heard them, making their way out of his bedroom, as if they hadn't been in there doing god knows what. neji was afraid to turn his head and see what they were doing, but he had to, and he really wished he didn't.

ino was adjusting her shirt and ponytail and sai was following behind her, that same stupid smile on his face. when ino spotted neji staring wide-eyed at her, she flashed him her own smile, as if nothing wrong had happened.

"what were you two doing?" neji was thankful that his monotone voice didn't betray the horror that he was feeling and possibly about to experience.

"us? oh sai needed me to pose for him, and since we didn't want to be disturbed we just went to your room." ino offered her cool explanation as she made her way over to the couch, retrieving her laptop so she could continue writing her paper about french fashion trends in the 1900s.

neji knew though. he knew that he was going to have to burn his bed and sheets. he just knew it. and it was that fucking smile on sai's face that gave it away.

v. if you want safe sex, better use the knee pads

"hold on, i need to grab a condom." pausing his actions, sai sat back on his knees, taking a moment to admire the work of art that was ino herself. her hair splayed out along the pillow, her skin lightly flushed with a red tinge.

"it's fine." her voice was light and needy and sai had to blink at her assertion. ino was always the one who pounded the importance of condoms. well her and yamato.

sai had to blink a few more times because he really didn't need the image of yamato in his head lecturing about condoms. not right now when he was in his underwear and his girlfriend naked beneath him.

"are you sure?" he knew most guys would be jumping at this opportunity, but it was in his nature to be cautious. neither of them would be prepared for any negative repercussions of not using protection.

"i love you." and she pulled him down, her lips pressing against his, giving him all of the reasons why she was okay with it.

vi. cause great scenes might be great, but i love your bloopers

if there was one open secret amongst their circle of friends, it was that ino couldn't cook. she could bake her ass off, sure but when it came to actual meals, she was the worst. usually, chouji made the meals for their get togethers and everyone would be fine. when ino did cook, it was always the bare minimum, usually green vegetables that had almost no taste or seasoning.

sakura had told sai in a hushed voice that it was left over from when ino was in high school and was 'sick'. when he asked why her baking was okay, sakura explained that when ino baked it was for others, but when she cooked it was for herself. and sai didn't ask any more questions about it after that.

still though, ino tried to cook. for both of them, and she would try to add more than just vegetables. so when he came home to ino in the kitchen, trying her hardest to make chicken for the two of them, he just smiled at her. a real smile.

he then pulled out his phone and ordered take out instead. ino frowned, obviously upset that she couldn't actually do this for him, despite how much she had wanted to.

"how about you make us a salad to go along with it though?" it was a simple suggestion, and his eyes were on the phone, but he could feel ino's smile from where he stood.

vii. and perfects for the urgent, but i want forever

opening the small velvet box, sai looked at the ring inside, staring hard at it before he closed the box once more. he had looked at it so many times since he bought it and tried to strength to actually ask ino to marry him. he wasn't entirely sure how to approach the situation or even the conversation with her, despite the fact that she had been "dropping" hints about getting married to him more than once.

or in ino language, dropping hints meant that she was literally telling him that she wanted to get married to him.

but she was waiting for sai to actually ask her.

and he didn't quite actually understand why they couldn't just count their multiple conversations as them being engaged. she said that that wasn't how it worked, and that she wanted him to ask her to marry him, properly, and she wanted it to be perfect.

it was always perfect with ino.

she spent her mornings, at least two hours getting ready for whatever she had to do that day, dressed in the right outfit, her hair straight and pulled into a tight perfect ponytail, and her face skilfully painted with colours and designs that almost made sai envy her skills.

she was perfect, and she wouldn't take less than perfect for herself.

it almost made sai envious of naruto and sasuke and their relationships. hinata would accept almost anything from naruto as long as he put thought into it, and sakura would really take anything from sasuke. thought behind it or not. but he knew that he was far too incompatible with either of the girls to date them.

and he liked ino's perfectionist ways. it was charming. to know that she put this much effort in to everything that she did.

except for now. right now he hated them because he couldn't quite figure out how he was supposed to "pop the question" and do it in the perfect way that ino wanted him to do it.

truth be told, sai wasn't used to initiating things between him and ino, simply because she had done everything first. she was the one who asked him to hang out for the first time, just the two of them. she was the one who initiated the first kiss. hell she was the one who did the pursing for the major part of the relationship, and sai went along with it all.

sakura had told him that ino wasn't really used to doing things like that, which was why she had pushed for sai to really propose, in a serious manner. and then sakura had suggested that sai take ino out to a nice dinner and propose to her that way. it would be simple and perfect. and sai found it clichéd and boring, but he had given sakura that same smile that he gave her when he actually hated the idea or suggestion that she had given.

giving a heavy sigh, sai placed the small box back into his bag and began packing up his art supplies. it was late, he had been in one of the art rooms on campus, but hadn't gotten any work done, and instead spent his time staring at the ring and thinking about how he was going to actually propose. this was getting under his skin and it was actually starting to bother him.

his phone's loud ringing pulled him out of his thoughts, recognizing the ringtone as sakura's, sai considered letting it go to voicemail, but he knew that if he did she would just call him back and keep calling until he answered. she was persistent like that.

"what?" he answers his phone in a bored tone, already expressing that he wasn't interested in what she was going to say to him.

"sai, did you forget?! we're supposed to be having dinner tonight–" sakura was cut off as sai simply hung up the call, uninterested in hanging out with her and naruto tonight. he really didn't want to watch naruto inhale food and then talk with his mouth full

like clockwork, his phone rang again and he answered again.

"first of all, don't hang up on me again!" he could feel sakura's anger radiating through the phone, and it made sai smile, just a bit. it was always nice to get under sakura's skin like that.

"anyway, everyone is coming. even temari and karui, so you better be there." it was more a warning about how ino would be, reacting to her two best friend's girlfriends, and he could already feel tired. he didn't want to go, but now he had to.

he was the last to arrive to the little get together at their usual korean barbecue place, and it was already well under way. they were on their third round of meat, and there were already five bottles of soju littering the table, but he couldn't tell exactly who had been drinking it.

"sai, sai!!" naruto was the first to call out for him, and there went sai's chance to turn around and leave. he gave his usual fake smile before settling into the seat next to ino–it had been saved for him.

pleasantries were exchanged, and sai indulged in them, answering the how are yous and asking them in return. so far, ino seemed to be getting along with karui and temari for the night, and he was almost afraid of what that meant for him, so he simply decided not to question her or bug her.

"so…" ino held up her shot glass as hinata offered to pour her a shot, filling the small glass with the clear alcohol. sai could only glance at ino, knowing that was following that so was something that he didn't want to hear. she had been drinking, and that meant sai didn't know what to really expect. so he just grinned as he filled his plate with meat, mentally preparing himself for the worst.

"hinata and naruto are moving in together!" sakura took the wind out of ino's sail, her own cheeks a red tint, showing that she had had the most of the alcohol. no doubt she was upset, since her (on-again, off-again) boyfriend was off on his own, traveling the world and doing only god knows what.

her own jealousy, of the two love birds at the end of the table's advancement in their relationship was apparent. and that meant ino was jealous too. as if he knew exactly what was happening, kiba filled a shot glass for sai and he knocked it back in the blink of the eye. this was going to be a long night.

"how surprising. you know, living with other people tends to make their flaws more obvious, hopefully you two make it together." sai made the slight jab at ino, for their first few months as a couple that lived together was an absolute disaster. where ino was messy and disorganized, sai was meticulous. it took them forever to finally get into the groove.

it was a mistake to make that comment, because drinking ino had no need to hold back about anything.

"you know, I always took hinata for the type of girl that would get married before she moved in with someone." the emphasis on the word made sai tense just a bit, but it was masked very well. he didn't make any comments in response, and instead reached into his bag. slipping that small velvet box out of the bag he placed it on the table with a resounding thud.

there was no words from anyone as they looked at the box. it was silent, and kind of awkward, and totally took away from hinata and naruto's news. it wasn't perfect, the way that ino wanted it it have been. but it was perfect for them.

viii. don't you see that i want you to be mine

"let's go on a date." sai's words pulled ino's attention from her note book, her western art history notes momentarily forgotten.

"we are on a date." ino offered the other before looking back at her notes. she could feel her face heating up just a bit as she tried to regain her place in her notes. sai's words had caught her off guard.

"no, as far as i know, this is just 'hanging out' or a 'study session', as you called it. i would like to go on a formal date with you." sai was still getting used to this thing, but according to the books he had read on the subject, this wasn't what a date was supposed to be like. there was supposed to be food, drinks, a movie, and then he was to walk ino to her doorstep and kiss her.

or at least that's what movies he had seen about it had shown a date was supposed to be like.

ino looked up from her notes, her composure regained once more and she eyed him for a bit, looking at his face and trying to read his expression, see if he was tricking her. but sai had a good poker face, a damn good one. so all she had to do was agree and hope to god he was for real.

"alright." she kept her eyes on him, watching for even the subtlest change in his demeanour or expression.

"excellent. i will pick you up at eight on friday then." and with that, sai turned his attention back to his own notes.

[ridikulusmarauder]

Short Jily story I wrote, not my best work but thought I would share . . . Also written on Fanfiction.net

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  I am not JK Rowling.  

 Love Me Slowly

 She isn’t certain when it happened.  That change from despising him and cursing him and doing everything in her power to ignore him—granted that last part never happened; his arrogance and insipid means of dragging a response from her succeeded over eighty percent of the time—had turned into nothing less than infatuation.  And she hates it. She is Lily Bleeding Evans for Merlin’s sake.  She does not obsess over boys like this—t-this continuous thought process of him.  Of the little habits of his she’d come to notice.  The habits that were endearing and genuine.  That made her stop and ponder where it had come from.  Then the way he would smile.  Lazily.  In such a way that diffused her tension.  But then, that was his way.  His charismatic, charming way of being James Potter.

He is seated by himself in the Library.  Not that that his solitude is terribly surprising to Lily, the likelihood of Sirius Black (or any other one of his cohorts) to willingly enter the Library on a Saturday is fair to none.  With his disheveled hair and lopsided glasses, he pours over a textbook in a way that Lily recognizes as frustrated.  He sighs with an agonized force, pushing the text away and leans back in his chair. That lazy smile breaks across his face at the sight of her.

Her heart decides to stop functioning right then and a blush creeps over her cheeks.  Curse him.

“Hello,” she says lightly as she drops into the seat across from him.  Unable to bring herself to meet his gaze she focuses instead on pulling her Head notes from her bag.

“Finally managed to drag yourself out of bed?” he teases.  Running a hand through his hair he closes the textbook with a flourish.

“I knew I would regret telling you my love of sleeping in,” she scowls.  Finally looking up she finds that he’s smirking now, his eyes dancing gleefully. “It’s not even that late!  Eight o’clock hardly qualifies as a decent hour to get up.  And just because I am late to our meeting doesn’t give you the right to make that comment.”

He laughs loudly at her. “Quite finished?”

Her blush deepens at her petty rant.  Tucking her hair over one shoulder Lily changed the subject. “Did you finish making up to new rounds schedule?”

James didn’t answer immediately.  Clearing his throat he shut his book, an obscure title about charms, and gave her a pleading look. “Do you love me?”

Yes. “Potter!”

“I’m sorry Lily! I’m guilty of procrastination, I admit it.  But just so you know I had planned on finishing it last night, but I had to go stop Peter and Sirius from nicking a set of bludgers from the Quidditch pitch. Remus was bloody useless.” Looking offended James runs a hand through his hair.  “He just sat back and kept charming them out of my reach.  Speaking of which have you seen any of them?  I have a need to express my appreciation, or lack thereof.”

It takes all her control not to crack a smile. “Quite finished?”

He gives her an exasperated look that turns into a deep scowl when she bursts out laughing. “Stop laughing!  I didn’t get back to the Dorm until two in the morning.”

“Yes of course,” Lily says clearing her throat. “We should mourn the loss of your beauty sleep.”

“Do you think I’m beautiful Evans?”

Yes. “Potter.”  Now she’s blushing and there is nothing to do about it but ignore his intense gaze and fumble uselessly with her quill.  She can feel his eyes upon her, precise and careful they never seem to miss anything. But, he says nothing else and pulls out a clean sheet of parchment.

“It’s actually Sirius who gets offended when he doesn’t get his allotted seven and a half hours.” He says it too late.  Lily has the dreadful feeling that he knows.  Oh Merlin he knows.  But he says nothing about that and does his best to rectify the attention he put on her.

“Ah, that explains so much,” she is quick to respond with a laugh and roll of her eyes.  Lily watches as he starts making out a chart of a new rounds schedule.  Why isn’t he teasing her?  He usually never misses a chance to bring a blush to her cheeks or a curse from her wand.  

“Yes, I would avoid him as best you can,” James chuckles as he continues to hash out an idea for the rounds.  While he’s occupied Lily is free to watch him.  It was interesting to try and pin point what had changed.  Thankfully the hair hasn’t been affected.  It was not until the end of sixth year that she’s admitted to herself that yes, his hair was actually fabulous.  He is talented, but that hasn’t changed either.  He’d always been talented, the Transfiguration prodigy that makes McGonagall only a touch more lenient with him.  That and he’s brilliant at Quidditch.  What was it?

The question makes her unable to focus throughout their meeting.  Which is rather embarrassing because he catches her staring at him twice more before they finish everything they need to discuss.

“I suppose you’re going to head to Hogsmead with your remaining freedom?” She asks when they finish and are putting their things away.

“Someone’s got to stop Sirius from spiking third years’ drinks with firewhiskey,” James says mournfully.  “Peter keeps Remus distracted so he never actually see’s it happening.”

“James Potter, not shirking in his Head Boy duties,” she says dryly as she stands, “I’m impressed.”

She meant it.  She really did.  But in the way she said it he knew her heart wasn’t in it.  He didn’t see past the sarcasm.  It was later that she realized that.

“I am a good person Lily,” he tells her.  When he rises, it is with ease and grace.  She remembers hearing Marlene and Alice go on about their pureblood families and “trainings” on etiquette they had to go through.  “It’s the pureblood heritage,” the would mimic together.

She doesn’t respond. She can’t respond as he turns quickly and leaves the Library.

.*.*.*

She is in an empty classroom slumped in the first seat she had found upon entering.  Shaking with sobs she leans over the desk holding her head in her hands.  Her red hair is a mess; tangled and wet with her own tears, she hasn’t had a chance to wash it in three days.  Which normally wouldn’t be the first things on her list of worries, but after everything else has decided to go to Slytherins chamber pot, why not this? Just another thing to the list of things wrong with her.  

She finds it rather ironic that this was what finally got her to snap.  It wasn’t Severus.  It wasn’t Dad.  It wasn’t even Dorcas’ snub.  No.  Of course it had to be Petunia.  The invitation had been addressed by her mother. A little note was attached begging Lily to find a way to come back home, if only for the day.  Again, from her mother.  Did her mother know that another letter arrived that same day?  That same moment in fact?  It was from Petunia.  Calling it a note puts it lightly.  It is much more a threat.  Don’t you dare come back FREAK.

Thinking about it rolls her body in another sob.  Don’t you dare.  Don’t you dare.  

Freak.

Freak.

That’s always what she has been and always will be it seems.

She doesn’t realize someone has entered the room until there’s a hesitant hand on her shoulder. That only makes her cry harder because she knows who it is.  He says nothing as he stands beside her.  Nothing as she cries clutching her head in her hands.  As he slips into the seat beside her, his hand works in slow circles across her back.  He says nothing and merely waits.

It takes sometime before she can calm down enough to stop making little gasps at each breath.  It’s pathetic.  Freak.  She straightens slowly and brushes her hair from her face, but she cannot look at him.  She can only imagine what he’s thinking.  

There you are Potter. The girl your so “madly in love with” is having an emotional breakdown.  How attractive is this?

He says nothing about her state, but simply mutters a spell and conjures a handkerchief to hand to her. Silently she takes it and a fresh wave of tears begins to roll down her cheeks.  When did he go and grow a bleeding conscience?  Lily snubs this round of tears as quick as she can. She’s made a fool of herself around him enough as it is.  Quietly she wipes her face and blows her nose, delicacies forgotten.

It is a moment before he makes a noise like he wants to say something.  He tries again, but stops.  Again, but can’t seem to form the words.

“James?” She finally comes out and speaks first.  He makes no response.  It has been a while since she’s actually used his first name, he’s probably shocked. “Thank-you.”

“What else are friends for?” he asks softly, one hand is still on her back working in soothing circles.

Lily turns a little to face him.  Friends. Yes.  They are friends, aren’t they?  She likes that.  That’s the best thing she’s heard all day.  While the classroom is dim and she can’t see very well with her stupid tearful eyes, there is a glimmer in his own.  He cares. Before she can think about it she leans over and pulls him into a hug.  Well, it’s probably more like a strangling the way her arms wrap around his neck and she holds on like she’ll never let go.  Hesitantly he returns the hug, his hands kindly resting on her back.

James presses his nose against her temple and as he feels the drop of tears on his collarbone he pulls her closer.

.*.*.*

Furious.  That’s the only way to describe her.  And even though that anger is directed purely at him, James cannot help but grin.  Her red hair is flying about her in the wind mingling with the falling snow, the hat she’s wearing seems useless to its purpose.  There’s a scowl etched on her face.  It’s nearly a permanent characteristic.  Even at this distance he can the gently curved shape of her eyes as they flash like a venomous snake.  She was furious, and he loved it.

“James Potter.”  He’s surprised he can actually understand her. Although anything with that tone of maliciousness and it’s probably his name or “Bloody Marauders.”  She’s snarling angrily with a hand itching towards her cloak pocket where he knows her wand is waiting.

“Lily Evans.”  James responds jovially out of habit.  Honestly sometimes he prefers her in this vindictive mood.  It certainly is an improvement from the state he’d last found her in.  Had it really only been a month?  Ever the object of his fascination, despite how he tried to subdue it, he couldn’t help but notice the color drain from her face that day at breakfast.  She was seated away from her friends (after an epic battle of insults that reverberated throughout Gryffindor Tower, Dorcas was ignoring Lily) and he couldn’t help but watch her leave her breakfast untouched and run from the Great Hall. The last time she had done so was in second year after Sirius had sprayed pumpkin juice down her front after she’d made a comment about his hair.

Obviously, something had upset her.

Now, thankfully, she seems to be back to her usual self.

“Don’t you dare,” she grinds the words out as she comes to a stop in front of him.  Her cheeks are stained pink from a mix of the cold and her anger.  The scarf she wears is one he’s never seen before, and he has taken great care to know the kinds of scarves she likes.  Unlike her usual ones of wool and knitted patterns, this one is thin and lanky and appears to be doing an ineffective job at keeping her warm.  The skin of her neck is red with chill and there’s a small buildup of snow the rubs there atop the collar of her cloak.

“What have I done this time?” he drawls.  He looks over his shoulder at the entrance to Hogsmead.  Remus and Sirius are there waiting for him, Peter likely trying to figure out a way to sneak out of a detention without Filch noticing.  

“You can’t just,” she begins, but she comes to a loss of words. “You never even,” she tries again.

“Is this about changing the schedule?” He asks, his grin deepens at her flabbergasted struggles to speak.  This topic she’s trying to get at is one she’s obviously passionate about and there’s a feeling in his gut that tells him it’s not the schedule. “Walsh said he’d mentioned it to you.”

“No,” she snaps.

He cuts her off before she can continue. “Moving the Prefect Meeting?  I did run that by you, no?  Slytherin’s feeling entitled to have the pitch on Thursday’s because of something to do with Astrology.  Load of hogwash in my opinion.”

“No,” she says again, but he can see her angry resolve faltering.  Her hands move up to her scarf and she tries to pull it tighter, warmer, against her skin.

“Hmm,” he muses. “Than what is it?”

Lily opens and closes her mouth trying to form a response.  Before she can do so she, yet again, is interrupted.  A group of third years rush past them back up to the castle. Their feet squelching and splashing in slushy snow and mud.

“You lot ought to be careful and not track mud in the Castle,” James warns them. “Filch’ll have all your heads the rest of the year!”

“Thanks James!” come a reply and the students disappear around a bend in the path.

James returns his attention to Lily and finds she is no closer to giving him an answer.  Taking advantage of the fact she has yet to draw her wand, James steps closer to her, they’re barely more than two feet apart. He pulls his own scarf off and wraps in around her.  As he holds onto either end, he pulls them closer together.  Close enough that he can feel her breath warm against his neck, and he can see the splash of freckles on her left temple.  

She doesn’t move like he expects her to.  All she does is stare defiantly at him and he can see something in her eyes that he can’t quite register, he’s seen it once before; in the library.  They stare at each other a moment more before he leans in and presses a quick kiss on her forehead.  Her breath is quick on his neck and she inhales again sharply.

James pulls away and winks at her. “You seemed a bit cold love, that scarf of yours isn’t nearly as warm as mine.”

It is then that she pulls her wand out and is able to hit him with a tickling charm.  When she lets out a string of profanities at him it is all he can do to remain standing as he laughs.  But he doesn’t mind as he stumbles off to the Three Broomsticks. She seems to be back to herself again. And he especially doesn’t mind when he sees her the next day with his scarf firmly in place around her neck and he has a feeling he won’t be getting it back.

 .*.*.*

 He ignores Severus.

He makes his friends ignore Severus.

It would have been the perfect opportunity to hex him.  The hall was only full of little first years and Gryffindor’s.  No one would have stopped him.  Perhaps not even her.

But he lets the Slytherin pass by unnoticed, grabbing Sirius’ arm and shaking his head. Sighing vocally Sirius complains “dog-gone-it, that was a golden opportunity”.  James ignores him.

Lily feels a bit lightheaded at that.  She tells herself that it’s because she was up all night last night trying to talk through the disagreement with Dorcas.  That had only ended in tears.  She is tired of crying.

He glances over his shoulder and their eyes meet.  He nods briefly before disappearing with his friends.  And she realizes that is it.

They have rounds together that night.  Lily realizes that it’s been ages since they’ve had an opportunity like this to talk. To really talk.  And yet, while they walk through the corridors they say nothing.  James lazily waves his wand, sending bursts of bubbles this way and that.

“Alright Evans?” He asks finally.

She snaps to attention suddenly and self-consciously runs a hand through her hair. “Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine.”

Lily doesn’t look at him. For some reason, she just can’t bring herself too.  She can still feel his touch from when he embraced her in the empty classroom and her forehead still tingles from that silly little kiss.  Curse him.  Spending so much of her time obsessing over him was the last thing she wanted to do. Spending so much time wondering if he still felt the same about her drives her made.

Lily knows he had a thing for her in the past.  He made no secret of it before.  But all the times he’d asked her out seemed so halfhearted; having always been combined with a curse or a jinx to another student or some pigheaded comment about her legs or wand work.  Believing he fancied her is just a joke she keeps amongst herself and Marlene. Though her friend insists that Lily should go out at least once with James before the end of their time at Hogwarts.

“You are a terrible liar Lily.” James cuts into her train of thought without reserve.  She notes that he’s put his wand away and instead works on disheveling his hair.  When his glasses slip down his nose he doesn’t seem bothered, instead focusing his attention on her.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it,” she says, because how could she?  Yes, James, let us talk about how my feelings for you have changed.  How I’ve notice you’ve matured and changed into a more responsible caring person.  She stops abruptly in the hall at how concise the thought had come to her. That is exactly what she has been searching for the last few months.

“Lily?” He’s a few paces ahead and looks back at her expectantly.

A sour taste grows in her stomach.  But he’s still as annoying and prying as ever. “It’s none of your business what’s the matter with me.”

“So you admit theirs is something bothering you,” he said with a cheeky grin.

She scowls and hurries to walk pass him.  There’s two more hours left on their rounds.  Merlin give her patience.

“C’mon, we’re friends aren’t we?”  He catches up to her easily. “You kept my scarf and everything.”

Blast it all.  Lily knew she should have publicly burned that thing when she had the chance.  At least she wasn’t wearing it now, it was tucked beneath her pillow.  A fact that she would not tell him.

“Why does it even matter to you James?” She finally asks tiredly.  They come to a stop near the Astronomy Tower, surprisingly enough no one was there trying to sneak up for a snogging session.

“We’re friends,” he says again, a bit confusedly.

Looking up at him Lily sighs, but doesn’t meet his eyes.  Instead she focuses on the scar sitting on his jawline.  She’d given that to him last year after an incident involving a pixie and fireworks.  The Common Room still smells like smoke.  “Even friends have secrets.”

“Yes, but if it’s bothering you so much talking about it will help relieve the stress,” he says.

“I’m not stressed!”

“Your tone suggests otherwise.”

“Bugger off,” she snaps looking away.  Neither of them move.  Glancing back over her shoulder she watches the nearest torch.  It flickers in the gentle draft of air that moves down from the dower.  The flames dance and flow in the air flow.  As she watches she finds herself grateful her hair is not orange like those flames. That’s all she can focus on.  If she tries to think of anything else she will realize how close she and James are.  She’ll realize the sporadic beat of her heart and the way her hands are sweating uncomfortably.  She’ll realize things that she’s been suppressing for a long time now.

“Are you incapable of showing any other kind of emotion Evans?” He growls, if possible leaning even closer to her.

“Oh I’m sorry, would you rather I begin sobbing uncontrollably and fall into your arms again?” she replies just as rudely. “Shall I add a kiss and sweet whisperings of undying love for you?”

“Well actually,”

Smack

As soon as her hand collides with the side of his face she wishes she hadn’t done it.  When the term started, she had a goal not to lose her temper like this again.  Bugger.

“I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean,” she stutters jumping away from him.  Slowly, he raises a hand to his cheek, it seems he too realizes how long it’s been since she’s slapped him.

“Or course you meant it,” he says quietly.  “You wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“If you weren’t so infuriating,” she begins and almost glares at him.  But she can’t finish her angry rant.  No, he was right.  There’s that look in his eyes that tells her.  It’s the same look he had almost half of last year when he and Sirius weren’t speaking to one another.  It’s a look of betrayal and hurt.  That familiar gleam in his eyes deadens a little and his smirk has dropped away. Lily finds she doesn’t like the effect that has on him.  Instead of a charismatic and haughty young man he turns to be cold and distant.  She recognizes that look.  It’s the same one she sees in the mirror every morning. Trying again, she begins slowly and carefully. “You’re right.  I am stressed.  And annoyed. And angry.”

They finally meet each other’s gaze, but neither says anything.  Typical of almost every night in the castle, there is not much commotion in the halls.  Distantly she can hear a pair of ghosts talking and there’s a painting just ahead, past the stairwell to the Astronomy tower that’s having an argument with itself. So, in near silence they watch each other.  It’s strange, Lily thinks, she’s not embarrassed or angry about this stare down.  Normally she would lose, attributing her looking away to needing to go somewhere.  But now, there is no excuse.  No reason to look away.

“Anything else?” He finally asks.  That gleam returns to his eyes, only just.  

Scoffing Lily folds her arms over her chest. “I apologized, what more do you want?”

“Friends don’t let friends keep their emotions bottled up like this Lily.”  His tone gives her a heart murmur.  The only time she’s ever heard him talk like that was when he called Sirius his brother or recalled a story about his family.  

She can feel her muscles relax and a wave of relief washes over her.  For a moment, there is a part of her protesting everything about this. You don’t have to tell him!  It’s none of his business what you’re going through.  Completely rational and true.  But then there’s the voice that replies quietly, but I want to talk about it.

Slowly she rocks forward on the balls of her feet and gestures to the Astronomy stairwell. Settling on the same step their knees graze only slightly.

“If I have to talk, than you do too,” she warns with a pointed stare.  He smirks and she notices that there’s a small dimple in his right cheek when he does so.  How long has he had that?

“Only fair Miss Evans,” he says.  Those hazel eyes seem to bore into her, more than they’ve ever done before.  A blush heats her cheeks and Lily snaps her attention ahead of them focusing on the dancing shadows emitted from a torch.

“I was about eight or nine when I learned about magic,” she begins, unsure about what to say next. It’s not like she hasn’t talked about this before.  Marlene has always been a good shoulder to lean on when she’s needed it.  But now, talking to James, she feels like an overflowing teacup balancing on a marble; if she doesn’t talk now, she’ll topple over and shatter to pieces.  “For a muggle girl that’s what we dream of you know?  Being magical, like a princess in a story book.  It means we’re special.  Only when I actually left for Hogwarts and Petunia wasn’t going to come—it didn’t feel so magical.  S-she didn’t understand I guess.  Didn’t want to.”

Taking a breath, Lily realizes she’s shaking, it’s not just from the cold.  Gripping her knees with her hands to try and keep them still, she continues.  She doesn’t even notice that curious look growing on James’ face.  If she did she would see that fascination and interest that he has always had about her.

“I don’t know why it was so hard.  I made new friends here, great friends.  I wouldn’t change it for the world, but Tuney, she was my first friend.  My real friend.”  She pauses to watch a shadow twirl at an unexpected gust of air barreling down the hall.  “You don’t have siblings so I guess you would know, but it’s like a betrayal of trust when it ends.  We should still be friends.  We should still be able to tell each other everything.  But I’m just, just the fr—she’s getting married.  In the Spring.  Mum had to send me the invitation.  Petunia doesn’t want me there.  It was the first time she’s written me since second year and she uses that opportunity to tell me not to come.  Because I’m this.”

She finishes with a hiss of disgust and she realizes that she’s crying.  Thankfully it’s only silent tears, but this has to be one of the most embarrassing things she’s had to endure.  The two times someone has to see her cry and it’s always been with him. And now she’s told him some of the deepest thoughts she’s had.  Unable to bring herself to look at him, Lily drops her gaze to her hands, balled up atop her knees.

James shifts beside her and she knows he’s ruffling his hair.  When he speaks it’s in a simple way.  There is no trace of mockery or demeaning to it. “Sirius was an idiot once—oh all right even more so than usual.  He betrayed not only Remus’ trust, but mine and Peter’s as well.  I could have killed him, Remus nearly did.  You know what I said to him?  He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a brother and I told him I wish he would go back to his parent’s house.  ‘You’re no better than the lot of them,’ I said.  Lily, if you only knew what they’re like.  I may as well have told him to go slit his wrists or get locked up in Azkaban.”

When he pauses, Lily looks up at him.  Pure anguish is etched in his face.  His brow furrows deeply as he searches for an answer to an impossible question.

“You ask about that feeling of betrayal from someone,” he says softly, a humorless laugh follows. “Yeah, I felt betrayed by him. But my betrayal, that thing that I said.  That haunts me.  It’ll always haunt me.”

Silence.

His fingers tap tunelessly on his legs; she can feel his anxiety seeping off of him.  Deliberately she reaches over and takes one of his hands in hers.  She can’t tell who clings on the hardest.

.*.*.*

They are in the Library again.  He’s cursing his Charm’s textbook vigorously as he flips through the pages trying to locate a passage.  Watching bemused, Lily leans back in her chair and absently rolls a bit of her hair around a finger.  Over the past few months she’s gotten more used to the idea of thinking James was attractive.  Because really, Marlene was right, he would be in Witch Weekly every darn edition if those journalists laid their eyes on him. She’s never admitted it out loud though. Merciful Merlin, she could just imagine what Marlene would say, or what Mary’d do.  And now that she and Dorcas have made up, there would be fireworks and alcohol involved.  No.  It is better just to admit it to her diary.

The Potion essay sitting in front of her gives her a migraine.  Usually Potions comes fairly easily.  Not as easy as Charms, but easy enough.  But now writing about bezoars and how they relate to the function of dragon’s blood makes her want to rip her hair out.  Taking up her quill she tries to think of something to say.

“It all sounds the same,” James mumbles dropping his head into his hands.  His forehead collides soundly with a stack of books about Charms, and patronus’ before him.  Groaning audibly he runs his hands roughly though his hair.

“Just summarize it all,” Lily tells him finishing a poorly worded sentence in her essay.  Maybe Slughorn wouldn’t notice.

“How?” Looking up over the rim of his glasses at her, Lily feels her heart develop a murmur again. Drat.  

Rolling her eyes Lily tucks her hair over one shoulder. “James.  You are a seventh year; I know that you know how to write an essay.”

“You are a terrible study partner,” he grips.  Slowly sitting up he drums his fingers on the table.

“So Remus does your all your work for you?”  She asks amused.  As kind as Remus is, he is still a Marauder and therefor a giant prat at least eighty percent of the time.

“He at least point’s me in the right direction,” James says.

“Start by writing all that you know about the patronus charm and go from there,” Lily replies.  Not getting anywhere on her potions work she shuts the book she was using.  “You can produce a protronus right?  So just talk about that process and the memories you use to make one, why those ones work and why others don’t.”

“If only it were so easy,” he says sourly.

Smirking Lily collects the books she won’t need and goes off to put them away.  When they first started studying together, it was more of a collaboration of heads work.  Her excuse was that if they started working on the next schedule for rounds and it casually turned into him helping her figure out how to get that darned tortoise pattern off of her teapot for transfiguration, it was a win-win situation. And then it turned into the outright admittance that she needed help.  And he still can’t get the wand work down for disillusionment charm.  It was a mutual need.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Even if they meet four times a week now for two to three hours.  There was nothing else to it.

Yet, Lily can’t help but feel a little disappointed.  Having come to realize that she liked James, he fact that he hadn’t asked her out once and it was almost Christmas makes her feel strange.  It was nice to have that idea in the back of her mind that someone was fascinated with her.  Even if James could be a creep at the same time.  She realizes that James has changed just as she asked him to.  It just pushed him farther from her.

He practically materializes next to her and takes a few of the books to put away.  Shoving them in random places he hums softly.

“James, you aren’t even trying to put those away properly,” she chides with a laugh.

“Oh c’mon, we bother know Madam Pince loves being able to come back and spend some personal time with all her books,” he replies and stuffs a charms book atop the books on pepper up potions.

They laugh together, at the truthfulness of the statement.  He catches her eye and they share a look.  For some reason, she cannot identify, she focuses on his lips. The thought crosses her mind of what it would be like to kiss him.  Sweet Agrippa, does he notice? She hopes not that would be mortifying.  They are friends.  Friends don’t mentally kiss each other without consent.

It’s in that moment he reaches a hand out, realizing what he’s doing, James looks away, quickly dropping his hand.  Before she realizes what she’s doing, she grabs his hand in one of hers and places it gently on her cheek before lifting up on her toes to kiss him.  She’ll blame it on that stereotypical impulsive redhead gene.  But right now, even though he’s confused as a hippogriff at a tea party, that kiss is fantastic.  It is quick, warm, sweet.  Not at all what she was expecting, but it was mostly her going into it.  If he was the one to instigate it, she’s sure there would be much more involved.  But she doesn’t mind.  For her this kiss concisely defines her feelings and change of heart.  

When her senses return to her she pulls away dropping his hand.  His eyes bulge behind his glasses, mouth slightly agape.  Patting his cheek, she can feel the stubble of a day’s worth of grown and the warm glow of a blush. “You might want to blink; I hear your eyes can fall out without enough moisture.”

She goes to turn away but he grabs her hand and suddenly she’s facing him again.  Closer than before, their foreheads touch and breath mingles.  Meeting his gaze with as much confidence that she can muster she waits.  His eyes flicker behind his glasses searching for something.

“Lily?” he’s uncertain, slow and cautious.  Her heart is hammering in her chest as she realizes that in all the ways he’s changed it has never taken him from her.

She smiles coyly and hopes that gleam of mischief she’s seen in his eyes so much is captured within her own. “If you don’t I will.”

That’s all the answer he needs.

.*.*.*

a/n So this is the first fanfiction I have written in YEARS.  Seriously, like 4 years.  It’s my first time doing 3rd person while in present tense, usually I am really hesitant with a narration like that so I hope it works.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!  

[realpaperclipsmagazine-blog]

10 Things I Learned After Watching Love, Simon

Disclaimer: This article may contain spoilers. You have been warned. Love, Simon is originally based on a book Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda written by Becky Albertalli. As what we saw in the movie trailer, it is about two boys falling in love, but the movie is more than that actually. The movie does not just portray the love story between the two boys but also gives a lot of messages and lessons to the viewers. So here are the 10 things I learned after watching Love, Simon: 1. Do not be afraid to express yourself. Simon has been hiding his secret on what he truly feels for years. He was too afraid to show to the people what he truly is. Who wouldn’t be? We have come to a point in our life when we also experienced this. We are too afraid what others might think of us, we are too afraid that they might not understand, we are too afraid that things may change. Well, you shouldn’t be. You are not just fooling other people, but you are fooling yourself too. Life is too short, if you love someone, tell them, if you think you are different, show them. Yes, others might judge you. Yes, others might not understand. Yes, things may change but at least you did try. Know that, not doing the things you wanted to do is the worst regret.

2. Never break someone’s trust. A lot breaking trusts happened in the movie and all ended up really bad. Trust is one of the most beautiful thing you will receive and give to a person. If someone trusts you with something, it means you are different, and you are special. It means they are comfortable talking to you, sharing their secrets to you because they see that you are a reliable person, someone they can trust with something and that is precious and rare. So never make that the wrong move. A broken trust may be fixed, but it will never be the same again. 3. Do not do things that can hurt someone. Simon left the computer in the library without signing out his e-mail. So when Martin used the computer, he read and saw every conversation including where Simon confessed that he is gay. Martin screenshot it and used it by blackmailing Simon. He was also the one who posted it online and because of what he did, Simon lost almost everything. Simon’s life was almost ruined. We shouldn’t do that. We shouldn’t do things that can hurt someone because they don’t deserve it. No one deserves it. How would you feel if other people do the same to you? 4. Never tolerate bullying. There is a scene in the movie when the teacher lectured the bullies, and it really felt good. There may be a reason why the bullies’ attitudes are like that, it may be because of the family’s background or because of a bad experience because as what they’ve said, hurt people hurt other people. But we shouldn’t tolerate and just watch them bullying other people. We should stop bullying by attacking the action, not the person. 5. It takes one move to change everything. Simon confessed to the people. He confessed to everyone that he is gay. It took him that move to change everything. People began to understand. Things began to look normal again. Restored friendship, restored relationship. It takes one move to change everything, this could be an encouragement and a warning at the same time. Before doing that move, ask this question “If I do this will it bring good or bad?” You see, you cannot undo the past, so be sure to do things that you won’t regret in the end. 6. True friends accept who you really are. Despite everything that happened to Simon, their friendship still remained. A true friend always supports you in your dreams and goals because a friend wants the best for you. A true friend also brings out the best in you. You don’t have to fake around them, because if they really are your true friend, they will accept you for who you are.

7. Mothers always know. After confessing to his family, Simon thought that his family might not understand. But his mother, ever since he was a kid already felt it. She was just waiting for him to confess. Yes, a mother is always a mother. Even without telling them, they would still know. They just know. 8. A father’s love is unconditional. I understand why Jack, Simon’s father, reacted that way when he heard his son saying he is gay. Sons are fathers’ pride. Despite what Simon confessed, Jack's love for his son is still the same. After all, Simon is still his son. You may not have felt or have seen your father expressing his love for you, but a father’s love is unconditional. They may just express it differently. 9. Always value the people around you. Simon was blessed and lucky to have a very understanding and loving family. Not everyone is fortunate in having a people that genuinely loves them. So if you have one, never take them for granted. Always be grateful to have them. Always value them. Let them feel you appreciate them. Do not wait for the time where you will realize how important they were in your life when they are gone. 10. There is always something good in every bad thing. When everything almost collapsed in Simon’s life, it still resulted to a collateral beauty. He was able to free himself from hiding. His relationship with his family even grew deeper. Their friendship grew stronger and most of all, he found his one true love. So that ends the 10 things I learned after watching the movie Love, Simon. I can say Love, Simon really is a good movie, because you will go home from theater learning something. Next Recommended Movie to Watch: Call Me By Name Read the full article

[leycaria-blog]

Furries Can’t Count

Does anyone know the difference between a cosplayer and a furry? It’s a subtle difference, but quite important if you ever bump into either of them. Cosplayers are people who choose to display their love of a program, book, video game etcetera, by dressing up as one of the characters and going to conventions to discuss their passion. Some people buy costumes, but some put a huge amount of effort into creating bespoke pieces – there are some fantastic replica weapons you can find online. Furries, on the other hand, like to dress up as anthropomorphic animals and do… animal things. They are also linked very strongly to the darker and dirtier parts of the internet. I suppose that’s why Channel Four chose to present its latest Crystal Maze team as ‘The Cosplay Team’, despite them being quite obviously furries. Yes, we’re on The Crystal Maze, ready to deliver a scathing indictment that’s long overdue. I thought I’d start with tonight’s furries because they were the worst team so far. For a while, I genuinely thought they’d be going into the dome with only one crystal, but I’ll leave the digital assassination for later and just attack the show for now. Richard Ayoade is not a bad Maze Master, he’s quirky enough and informative, if sometimes a little too much so, but the library of different games is somewhat… limited. There aren’t that many at all. At this point, I’m fairly certain we’ve seen every game twice, and some more than that. The games aren’t that great either. I mean, the one with the spinning planets in the futuristic zone is almost identical to the one with the spinning hazard signs in the industrial zone. But I could put that aside. What makes me angry, what seems so blatantly insulting, what makes me really want to stick an electric whisk down someone’s throat and spin it until their entrails resemble tomato puree, are the ‘riddles’. Channel Four obviously doesn’t know what a riddle is. A riddle is clever, it is supposed to include words and be a little opaque, so one has to think in a certain way to understand. A riddle is not a primary school maths equation. Asking someone to divide twenty by four is not asking them a riddle. I’m half expecting the next riddle to be “If I have two brain-dead furries and I add another three, how many furries do I have?” The answer, by the way, is seven, I’m fairly sure the two brothers were pregnant. Honestly, there’s something wrong with your game show if it’s asking questions which would patronise a six year old, but I’m feeling generous, so I’ll give them some hints. Look up Raven, an old children’s television program involving a Scottish bloke prancing around in a forest saying “A brave effort!” every twenty seconds. Any one episode of Raven is almost guaranteed to have a riddle in it, and by that I mean a riddle written by someone who actually understands what a riddle is. Right, furry time. NO. I dread to think what that mean to any furries reading this. Ignore me, don’t uh… do anything on my account. Please. Anyway, the furries were without doubt the least successful team so far, and that’s including the celebrity editions, one of which included Scarlet Moffat, so they should be ASHAMED. I have to admit, when the furries completed their first task, the industrial zone button one, I thought they’d do quite well. No one has managed that one yet. But everything went downhill from there. The highlight was when one of the identical twin furries (biologically, not furrililliliy) had to crawl about in an enclosed space when he clearly didn’t like small spaces. Not to mention, he possessed a rather fine spare tractor tyre. He got locked in, but the team leader, an obnoxious prick with a beard, bought him out immediately, sacrificing one of two precious crystals for his release. They then went on to make the best piece of television of the week in the futuristic zone. The other twin furry, also of not inconsiderable size, had to do a task where the participant must climb across five brightly coloured planets suspended from the ceiling and back again. This chap only made it to the second planet, then came back again. Oh, but the fun was just starting. He got stuck making the final step from spinning planet to entry platform, he just kept spinning and nearly falling off and breathing really really heavily. You could see his mind beginning to snap, right there on the television. It was brilliant. Eventually, the time ran out while he kept spinning around like Tarzan of the overweight middle-aged furries. Upon the call of time, he fell off, sprawling like a starfish on the floor. He clambered onto the steps and just sat there panting, very possibly entering a permanent vegetative state. So he was bought out. And they failed lots more tasks and entered the crystal dome with two crystals, granting a total of ten seconds in which to catch over fifty gold tokens. In a twist of plot worthy of whoever wrote Saw, they didn’t manage it. They didn’t miss much though. I’ve seen people win before, and Ayoade isn’t joking when he says ‘middling prize’. I’m fairly certain one of them was a free trip to Legoland.