#grieving is a challenge
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Y’know, I think the saddest part about hearing of Bobs passing was the fact that the last time he was seen alive was 3 weeks ago and that his body was so badly decomposed, like really no one came to check up on him?? I don’t know much about his family but seriously no one thought it was odd for him to drop off the face of the earth for almost a month???
Obviously I am aware of his actions in the past and his current political views and in no way condone any of them, however he was still a human, a very influential human no less, with a phenomenal talent for drumming, and to hear that it took that long for people to find him is truly devastating.
I’ve only seen two videos of people celebrating his death but the fact that people are celebrating in the first place is disgusting, hate him all you want but celebrating is sick.
#empathy challenge hard mode for some reason#posting about your excitement for another persons death is just straight up weird#do you want a medal or something?#of course I feel conflicted about grieving him because he was a POS#it’s just the way his body rotted for however long without anyone looking that gets me the most#my chemical romance#mcr#bob bryar#frank iero#mikey way#gerard way#ray toro
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one day at a time.
if he really focused, art could still hear his dearest grandma say those words to him. one day at a time. for he must never allow for his racing thoughts to consume him with ambition. it wasn’t easy for him to keep those words in mind, because he was always so determined to be great.
it came to the point where he’d run himself dry, his sacred routine eventually burning him out. it was days like those, when he was in bed staring up at the ceiling with all the muscles in his body aching like a reminder of his incompetence, when he wished he could ask his grandma for one last hug. one last summer in her small, cozy house, no, home, one last time to be her favorite boy.
with the hot tears pricking in his eyes, he chastises himself for letting his youth pass by him so rapidly. his dorm room lingers with a scent that feels foreign, so unlike the sweet aroma of his grandma’s baking that always seemed to hang in the house much too short for art’s liking.
he had not given himself much time to grieve. after she passed, art had not allowed himself to think about her for too long because it would force him to feel and he did not have time for feeling. however, now that his body has forced him into an inability to do anything but stare at his white ceiling, he cannot help the soft sobs that break the silence. her words ring through his mind like a siren. one day at a time. if he had taken that advice, would he have been spared from this sickening guilt he feels about barely visiting her in her late stages of life? would he feel like he had loved her more wholeheartedly if he had not taken her presence for granted?
art cried himself to sleep that night, forced in a spiral of despair that he wasn’t strong enough to take himself out of. the feeling was all-encompassing and so overwhelming that his chest still burned the following morning, a reminder of how he heaved and cried and begged for life to stop passing him by.
#art donaldson#challengers#is this something idk#art grieving isn't talked about enough#never writing again
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u know just once I want a scene where someone puts Buck’s emotional wellbeing first
#I need to rewatch the scene obviously#but#stop putting blaming buck for having emotions#stop saying that buck is making it all about him challenge#he is grieving#perhaps he should make it about him#911 spoilers#evan buckley#911 abc#oli posts
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Welcome home.
So guys, I used graphic pencils for the first time on one of my art assignments and now....
Just know that ur girl got it 💪🔥
Also dont mind his fuck ass shoes okay
#yandere#x reader#yandere blog#male yandere#yandere x reader#art#my doodle baboodles#drawing#hxh#hunter x hunter x reader#hunter x hunter#yandere hunter x hunter#yandere hxh#yandere chrollo#yandere chrollo lucilfer#chrollo lucilfer#chrollo x reader#yandere chrollo x reader#no line art challenge GO!!!#kind of??#just highlights/outlines.... but not line art#ha ha ha#read that in a ironic white mans voice#youll get it#“You cant unalive Chrollo- Id enter my grieve era!”#“--When he'd get a face card??”#tag.... what to tag.....#Chrollo would put a collar on hia darling not to keep them tied down#but to show ownership in his weird self indulgent way that makes him go “Thats funny.” and giggle at himself rationalzing it#no pet play here. Um sorry freaks and geeks 😭😭💀
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i think a lot about obsessive insecure hannibal constantly worrying about being good enough for will.
after the fall, still healing from their injuries, they're intimate for the first time. it was bound to happen, hannibal felt the tension building, knew it was a matter of time until they were both well enough. it had been so long, years of oscillation, revolving around each other, violently close but never enough to touch. he wanted it, and he wanted to make it good for will. will had never asked, never pushed, never touched him more than he wanted. still, the pressure to perform was enormous.
in their sweet touches, their heated breaths, all hannibal can think about is what if this is it. what if im not enough. what if this is the moment he realizes im not what he wants. that everything, this swirling intensity, their mutual destruction, their rebirth. what if the hunt was what excited him? and hannibal is prey that wasn't worth the chase. he must've touched molly like this, countless other women. maybe even other men. hannibal knew how to satisfy a lover, he felt no shame in that. but will wouldn't want that. he wouldn't want doctor lecter, in all his practiced perfection, his measured pleasure, his feeble satisfaction. he would know. he wants hannibal, in all his scars in weakness, here in this cabin at the end of the world, nothing but the two of them. no one left to entertain. he's not sure if he can.
the last person he was honest with, he was forced to swallow her whole, and any person beneath him who dared disturb his isolated world followed suit. everyone except will. undone by his weakness, forced to his knees in his acceptance, he is terrified of what might happen to his soft heart if we were to lay it in wills hands. terrified that rather than kiss it tenderly or crush it in his palms, will may not want it at all. disgusted by the gesture, bored by his desperation, he would set it down and leave it to the bitter cold. will was not a stranger to changing his mind, after all. it wouldn't be the first time.
hannibal wouldn't say this, he won't. he'll find ways to suck it between his teeth, make these first few times nothing but beautiful and good. he'll wait until he can control it, a whispered confession, with dry eyes. the overwhelming tenderness of their bodies, burning each other in the heat, the whispered praises under his breath. hannibal can't focus on it, his cock barely half hard from anxiety. he won't, he won't, he won't. he knows will's hands are stilling, knows he's gently asking if he's okay. he can't fuck this up, can't destroy this like hes done to them over and over and over. hannibal is ruining, soiling what they could be with his disgusted vulnerability, the pathetic juttering of his weak heart.
hannibal, with his endless cruelty, the ways he's picked and prodded and pulled at will. the way he's broken him, ripped everything from him and watched him twitch and convulse with nothing left. after all the wrong he has done, it can't be in this moment, that the childish desperation, that his weak, pulsating parts are when will has had enough. hannibal's humanity can't be thing that will rejects.
it bursts open, and he sobs, weak in a way will hadn't see him since will had been under him, bleeding out from his stomach, hannibal soaked in the rain. rather than being changed by will, maybe he was just broken. broken by his desire, his hunger so strong he ate himself from the inside out. he crashed against the current of the ocean, and shattered into the sea. would will still want him if it meant having to put him back together?
and will stops, hands hovering over hannibal as he winces in anticipation, certain that will must not want to touch him for what he is now. for the weakness that has rested in his heart, unseen and now grossly on display. hannibal screws his eyes tight, feels the hot tears dampening his cheeks, the shuddering in his shoulders. it feels like the absolute worst moment to be seen like this, regret twisting his stomach and burning holes into the image of their intimacy.
will's touches return, gentle and caring. consoling, kind. hannibal meets his eyes and they are watery with love. tears beading in his eyelashes, honored at the privilege to see hannibal in moments no one else has. not in a very, very long time. forever bestowed the role of his undoing. god, in awe of his creation as it lives under his guiding hand.
they lay with each other that night. quiet and soft, will's warm, course palm rubbing circles into his back, kissing away warm tears when they come. they don't say anything. will doesn't ask, doesn't push, doesn't touch him in any way he shys away from. will wants him all the same. wants nothing more than hannibal, hannibal, hannibal. in every form he comes in, in every outline he takes, in his strength, bloodied and wild, in his weakness, wilting and meek. so long as it's them, together, in every shape, fitting together, skin against skin, made whole.
#charlie challenge: express a thought about hannibal that doesnt spiral into a undercooked oneshot#difficulty level IMPOSSIBLE#anywaysss idk guys#i dont think theyd immediately get together or define their relationship#let alone be intimate#and if they were to try to it would go. very unwell and end in tears me thinks#they have a LOT to work through. seriously#i think at some point theyd get together and define that while still working through things#but theres a lot of vulnerability on both sides that they need to be able to let themselves feel to understand their relationship#which they are notoriously bad at#points at will throwing them off a cliff because he couldn't fully handle the weight of loving hannibal and accepting himself#points at hannibal gutting will and killing their daughter that reminded him of his dead sister who he is constantly grieving#because he couldnt handle the emotional weight of being betrayed by someone he loved. and knowing that hes someone who can feel betrayal#as you can. SEE#AGHHH IM SO CRAZY ABOUT THEM AAGGGHHGGG#i feel like a dog that needs to be put down. at times#whatever i love them whatever im free#hannibal#hannigram#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannibal fanfiction#hannibal analysis#?? MAYBE#i never tag my posts with that because i dont feel smart enough to call myself an analyst#analyze this: falls to my knees screaming#charlieog
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Okay, after much consideration and many trips to relating wiki fandom pages, I have decided on the base characters YJ + company will be based off of in my DC x EAH au.
Now bear with me, as ofc the characters I choose for them does not mean that I believe their personalities perfectly align, but I'm pretty satisfied with the selection (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
Cassie Sandsmark: Sparrow Hood or Hunter Huntsman (headstrong, rebellious and a bit of a punk methinks)
Cissie King-Jones: Lizzie Hearts (they seem to really vibe for me, and I can see Lizzie HATING following the same steps as her mom)
Greta Hayes: Meeshell Mermaid (DOOMED FROM THE START YES YES THE ANGST)
Anita Fite: Faybelle Thorn or Farrah Goodfairy ,(it really just depends on her mood, you know how it is)
Kon Kent: Darling Charming (idk doomed Yuri is doomed Yuri to me. also um. the Trauma and the Horrors)
Bart Allen: Madeline Hatter (need I justify my reasoning?)
Tim Drake: Apple White or Alistair Wonderland (hnhhjsjsj problematic girlies are my heart and soul take my firstborn take it all)
Cassandra Cain: Raven Queen (*slaps roof* this bad boy can fit so much desperation to not be their parent.)
Stephanie Brown: Chariclo Arganthone "C.A." Cupid (looking out for others at the expense of herself, the symbolism, the romance arc)
Laura Fell: Cerise Hood (the truth about her father needing to be kept a secret?? having to hide a crucial part of herself???)
Bernard Dowd: Blondie Lockes (THIS IS PERFECT AND I DO NOT ACCEPT CRITICISM ON THIS OKAY?)
#goodness as much as i love eah its been so long since i watched it sll the way through#only scattered episodes from time to time#so sorting them all was definetly a mini challenge but i think i got it#though if anyone has any diverting suggestions for anyone in here i'm all ear for opinions#throw em at me#cassie sandsmark#cissie king jones#greta hayes#anita fite#kon el kent#bart allen#tim drake#bernard dowd#darla aquista#laura fell#God this is so many people#yj98#young justice#louis grieve trio#eah x dcu#eah x dc
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vent in the tags sorry it’s a big bummer
#i’ve been so excited about my april reading challenge i was staying up to date mostly and everything was awesome#and then last week i spent 10 hours in the ER with my teenage brother. it was truly i think one of the most traumatic days of my whole life#so i slipped and didn’t read anything bc i was too busy with this nightmarish day#the next day i stayed home from work and just took care of him while both my parents were out of town#i got a little back on track w my reading but i knew i would be out of town this weekend#so i went to the bookstore and stocked up on a couple physical copies for the beach#i was truly so excited#and then we had a death in the family#so i canceled my trip and stayed home to grieve w family#and of course truly of course that is the most important thing#and it feels like there’s a hole in my heart and i’m tired and confused and grieving all the time#and i’m also concurrently so sad about fucking up my reading challenge.#grief is weird and i know it’s a trivial thing to be upset about but in between bouts of crying about my grandpa .. i literally just want to#break down and cry about my fucking reading challenge#it’s so dumb even as i type it#but that’s where i am in all honesty.#and i have to go to work tomorrow bc my job sucks. so maybe ill read at my desk in protest.#i just really want to sleep all day for the next week. but i can’t.#bc either my mom needs me or work needs me and both are important bc my mom is my mom and work pays my bills#but i wish i could have one full week to sit in the dark and process everything alone#anyway!!!!!!!!#if you read all this yeesh sorry#pers#tag novel#to delete
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#they had a BLOWOUT argument right before I ended their round for 1317#at first I thought it was Bartlet being awful about her not getting pregnant again#but as I went over all of the screenshots and notes from the year? I realized it's grief#they're grieving and it's taking a toll on them#they've only been married for one full year#watch them grow#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims 4 ultimate decades challenge#ultimate decades challenge#udc#morbid's ultimate decades challenge#the great famine#windenberg#1317#1317 windenberg#tagaryen family
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I am afraid.
For myself as a woman and queer person.
For my clients who are elderly and/or disabled and rely on programs like Medicaid and Social Security.
For my colleagues (and myself) as employees of a nonprofit, especially with Jewish in the name.
For my POC friends. My queer friends and family. My disabled friends and family.
For my friends and family who are teachers and crisis counselors and medical professionals, whose careers and possibly lives will be threatened even more by pro-lifers and conspiracy theorists.
For my friends that are specks of Blue in places that we slowly and with horror watched turn Red.
For this country. For the direction things are going to go. For the light at the end of the tunnel turning out to be the tikitorches of a MAGAt rally.
But I am also here. I love you. I support you. I want to help you however I can.
And I am not going down without a fight.
#personal#post election 2024#U.S. politics#current events#remember to breathe and to grieve and then to get back up and fight back#I am genuinely scared. I can't pretend I'm not like I did in 2016#but I'm not without hope yet#(and remember if you're like me and doing okish to still practice self care today. and to check on people in your life who might not be)#(also you know how they challenged 2020? wr can do that too. and in some states have actual evidence to back that unlike them)
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"blue's raticate" is actually a really interesting concept to explore in fanon because of what it'd add to blue and the protagonist's relationship, and it makes blue more tragic. but people who treat it like its hard canon are pretty annoying ngl
#like i think it was done well in abandon lonliness because it directly tied into what happened with eevee#he abandoned eevee and saw it as a curse because he blamed it for what happened#i can see why a grieving 11 year old would come to that conclusion even if its unfair and cruel to eevee#plus i think the story is about grief so it makes sense to bring that fan theory in#but within canon? dude obviously just swapped it out#and its annoying hearing discussion about him and ppl are like ''wow its so fucked up that red MURDERED blue's pokemon''#like. no he didnt. thats a fanfic idea. we made that up#echoed voice#also idk why him being in pokemon tower and his dialogue are treated like a smoking gun#''your pokemon arent dead why are you here'' doesnt inherently mean HES there because his pokemon is dead#it could just be a jab at the player like ''oh youre such a bad trainer that you'd only be here if your pokemon died''#what makes me think its not the former is that he still acts chummy and cocky with the player. he challenges you cheekily after that#and yknow. he couldve just been there to catch more pokemon#im curious over what the original dialogue was too#and he just... generally doesnt act the way youd think a grieving child talking to his pet's murderer would act
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no guys you don’t understand it’ll all be so great my cat will miraculously show up at my door 7 months later and i’ll get a great job that i don’t hate and lord huron will drop the new album and it’ll be the perfect balance between night and day vibes with at least one nature song and it’ll still have that pang of nostalgia and i’ll be able to make it to red rocks and they’ll announce more tour dates including florida and my head will stop hurting and
#at this point i would take a fuck ass album and a year of unemployment and no concerts if i could just have my cat back :(#i’ve been missing him so much lately and fucking instagram kept giving me pet loss videos which made me cry and realize that we won’t even#know if he’s really gone like we’ll just have to assume at some point and choose to grieve then#okay i gotta stop now im working myself up into a meltdown. it’s fine. january be OVER challenge
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DAY 17: The Fray- Without Reason
- Because I spend a concerning amount of time thinking about how Kaz's sole purpose for most of his life was revenge and how, once he finally gets justice for himself and Jordie, he's gonna be left with years of bottled-up grief and unsure what to live for now.
#six of crows#six of crows fanart#grishaverse#grishaverse fanart#leigh bardugo#SoC 30 song challenge#kaz brekker#kaz brekker fanart#jordie rietveld#that's my interpretation of it at least#don't come for my ass if urs is different ty <3#but yah#kaz finally being forced to grieve jordie drives me MAD#i don't think that vibes-wise this song fits best#but i think that kaz is the most likely to be left unsure abt his purpose post ck
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The fact that Vash has to keep reminding himself that he can also be threatening and dangerous probably means something that I am too tired to piece together atm but for now it's just funny to me.
#it's weird because in the monev fight it was kind of how he psyched himself up... which to me implies that despite his skill#he still feels vulnerable... or maybe helpless? since that chapter was the one we get the rem flashback#and the line 'i just watched on helplessly' as the fleet crashed etc#so maybe that's it - like a 'no wait i can do something about this now!'#but also. hdfbvsdhb it reminds me of stampede vash's 'mm. no thanks!' when challenged to a fight#vash gets challenged by assassins and still goes: 'oh... no thank you. that sounds kind of scary...'#ahfbdhfvbj#tbh i really do like that vash is allowed to get nervous and grieve and cry though. and he's still confident and skilled and cool.#he's got the range :D#trigun#trigunbookclub#vash the stampede#storyrambles
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I just love writing them together your honour
#bernard dowd#darla aquista#louis grieve trio#theyre so silly so microwavable#uhhhhh#aest try to stop only writing in the middle of the night challenge#failed spectacularly btw#its like nearly 3am im cooked chat#aest yammers
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1330 – Day 3 – Branson Farm
Elton Branson, Elsie’s first and only child (at least so far) dies at less than two years old. He just falls ill and the fever claims him, as it does so many infants. It wasn’t a failure to thrive, either. He was doing well. There was no sign she could have seen, no way that she could have prevented it.
Sibyl tries to tell her that it happens, that it isn’t her fault, that she will surely have other children, but Elsie can tell that her mother-in-law is just putting a brave face on a tragedy. After burying her beloved husband, she must have practice for that.
What surprises her is to see Freddy openly mourning as well. At first, she hardly notices it through the fog of her own grief. It wasn’t that he had ignored their son in life. He had played with him and held him as any father would. But there had also been times when he had seemed annoyed at his very existence, especially when it came to the parts of having an infant around that weren’t pretty and easy. Or he would have to be reminded that he even existed, when he wanted her to do something and she had to brush him off to care for Elton.
But he is standing beside her in the churchyard after the funeral, crying just like her.
“I can’t believe he’s gone”, Freddy says, after a long time of silence. His voice is thick and husky with the tears he’s shed. “He seemed so strong.”
His words echo Elsie’s own feelings. But she’s spent her time tending to her boy, trying to save him despite fearing that there was nothing she could do. Freddy hadn’t been there much. He had kept to working on the fields while she and his mother had done their utmost.
“You weren’t even there when he died”, she says, lowly.
“What?”
She turns around to face him. “You weren’t even there when he died. That was me and your mother. You didn’t ask how you could help, if there was someone you could bring in to help, anything.”
“Elsie, you know as well as I do that we can’t afford a physician. And someone had to do the work on the farm.”
“And one or two missed days are more important than your son’s life?”, she screams. She has never screamed at him before. She would like to say that she hasn’t dared, but it simply had never occurred to her that there was any point to it. But she can’t help it now. She is too angry, too heartbroken, to care.
Freddy seems equally taken aback, but he quickly recovers himself, balling his hands into tight fists.
“What do you expect me to have done? Caring for children is women’s work! If you want to blame someone, blame the Watcher, or my mother, or yourself. Shouldn’t there be some household remedies you women are supposed to know?”
“I did what I could!”, she screams back, but her voice is already beginning to break. He’s right. It was her duty to care for their child. But Sibyl is much older than her, and she couldn’t do anything, either. The Watcher takes so many children each year. Those mothers can’t all be bad at caring for their children.
Freddy scoffs. “So did I. But I did my tasks correctly. You don’t see the animals or the crop withering, do you?”
“You can’t compare a field to a child, Freddy.”
“I’m not. As I said, maybe it was just the Watcher’s will. But don’t lay the blame on my door when it wasn’t my task to begin with, as if I haven’t lost a child, too.”
Tears are prickling her eyes again, and she nods numbly. He’s probably right, and she is just looking for an outlet to her pain.
Previous: 1330, Day 3, Part 2/5 <--> Next: 1330, Day 3, Part 4/5
#townsend legacy#ultimate decades challenge#the ultimate decades challenge#the sims 3#ts3#udc: branson family#udc: gen 2#1330s#tw: death#tw: infant death#tw: grief#tw: emotional abuse#not sure about that last one#they're mainly grieving and saying hurtful things because of that#but better be safe#tw: sexism
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first colored Taylor parents drawing!! Henry and Morgan!!! My worsties!! They're actually very nice characters but they technically cause like the whole plot to happen so. I love em tho
#morgan not get sick and die challenge level impossible#henry grieve his wife normally challenge level impossible#buttersketch#oc#art#buttersketch escapism
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