#growing up has NEVER made me change my mind about a ship like it did with them

[maddy-ferguson]

they're for sexy people only if you don't get them i have news for you

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.” 

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world. 

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence. 

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.” 

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it. 

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face. 

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.” 

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile. 

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.         

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly. 

“I would sew.” 

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces. 

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care. 

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.” 

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you. 

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored. 

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking. 

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”  

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him. 

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest. 

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you. 

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.” 

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair. 

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave. 

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today. 

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.” 

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future. 

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.” 

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.” 

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again. 

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.” 

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this. 

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question. 

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk. 

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs. 

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off. 

“How about three?” Three is manageable. 

“Counting Grogu?” 

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that. 

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.” 

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible. 

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday. 

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father. 

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.” 

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’” 

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious. 

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that. 

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?” 

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would. 

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss. 

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father. 

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.” 

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks. 

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist. 

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh. 

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle. 

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that. 

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks. 

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?” 

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile. 

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours. 

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter. 

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.” 

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?” 

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze. 

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen? 

You never talked about that night after that. 

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises. 

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room. 

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again. 

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried. 

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…” 

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that. 

Maybe you should have. 

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation. 

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless. 

“I’d like to go to bed.” 

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door. 

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could. 

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that. 

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret. 

“Goodnight, Lysa.” 

“Goodnight, princess.” 

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet. 

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you. 

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully. 

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo. 

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute. 

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that. 

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after. 

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid. 

Not that you’re above being morbid. 

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family. 

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded. 

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious. 

It makes you want to poison his wine. 

But you don’t have poison. 

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now. 

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian. 

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.” 

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him. 

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.” 

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now. 

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it. 

You don’t ask for any follow up. 

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself. 

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to. 

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers. 

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright. 

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open. 

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall. 

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?” 

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.” 

“Do you want to see him or not?” 

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently. 

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness. 

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her. 

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore. 

The wailing. 

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands. 

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days. 

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh. 

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you. 

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell. 

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing. 

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face. 

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.  

Both eyes. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” 

Oh gods. 

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room. 

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell. 

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him. 

Maker. 

What have they done to your Din? 

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this. 

Armorless. 

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner. 

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.  

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue. 

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him. 

He assumes you're here to harm him. 

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly. 

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears. 

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face. 

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay? 

Technically no. 

But far better than he’s doing. 

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs. 

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?” 

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.” 

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed. 

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.” 

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look. 

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently. 

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look. 

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him. 

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait. 

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup? 

No. 

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation. 

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time. 

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all. 

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.” 

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his. 

“What else can I do for you?” 

“Nothing. Being here is enough.” 

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair. 

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process. 

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here? 

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.” 

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain. 

“Anything. I’ll do anything.” 

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried. 

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body. 

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him. 

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him. 

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears. 

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death? 

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic. 

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest. 

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well. 

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.” 

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm. 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter. 

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time. 

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more. 

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours. 

“I’ll always be yours.” 

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons. 

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning. 

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din. 

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet. 

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it. 

After all, you're just a doll. 

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his. 

And time blends. 

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting. 

So you wake. 

And you sleep. 

And you walk. 

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant. 

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night. 

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month. 

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.” 

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa. 

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry. 

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now. 

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room. 

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room. 

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors. 

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage. 

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?” 

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.” 

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate. 

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite. 

They look miserable. 

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head. 

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head. 

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.  

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup. 

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself. 

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents. 

The silver, shimmering contents. 

Din’s helmet. 

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor. 

Empty. 

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you. 

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands. 

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully. 

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.              

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box. 

Bloody and pink, a tongue. 

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand. 

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish. 

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please. 

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?” 

You clear your throat. 

“Thank you.” 

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed. 

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box. 

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box. 

You have never been hateful. 

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed. 

And the music starts. 

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention. 

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it. 

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in  one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter. 

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.  

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob. 

Maybe you are a hateful person now. 

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point. 

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day. 

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep. 

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him. 

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you. 

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat. 

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound 

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.” 

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips. 

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.” 

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes. 

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand. 

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face. 

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom. 

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face. 

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it. 

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so. 

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you. 

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point? 

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash. 

You barely look at them. 

You hate them. 

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them. 

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind. 

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine. 

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here. 

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair. 

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave. 

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it. 

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough. 

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down. 

Someone left you a small vase of flowers. 

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies. 

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle. 

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first. 

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out. 

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse. 

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned. 

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you. 

He’s a mess. 

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps. 

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to. 

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away. 

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue. 

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. 

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear. 

Fuck it. 

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror. 

This is it. 

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street. 

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it. 

But no. 

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him. 

That moment never comes. 

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom. 

Just like that, he’s gone. 

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone. 

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life. 

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point. 

You scream. 

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw. 

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream. 

You shriek.

You howl. 

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up. 

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw. 

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame. 

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market. 

Your failsafe. 

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it. 

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of. 

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape. 

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging. 

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you. 

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other. 

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine. 

And lastly you will find your vibroblade. 

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you. 

Be smart. 

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness. 

So seek those things out. 

Be safe. Be happy.   

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours. 

an ner kar'taylir darasuum, 

Din

All my love. 

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you. 

And your grip on the knife tightens. 

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now. 

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was. 

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things. 

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone. 

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be. 

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door. 

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful. 

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about. 

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you. 

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address. 

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you. 

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up. 

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room. 

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died. 

Maybe it’s been three months. 

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone. 

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards. 

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching. 

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you. 

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now. 

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin. 

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke. 

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion. 

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight. 

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor. 

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist. 

You look him up and down, one last time. 

Your loving husband. 

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly. 

I’m sorry. 

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do. 

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks. 

Be smart. 

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest. 

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now. 

How dare he look surprised by any of this. 

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse. 

So you remove the knife. 

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion. 

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria. 

But it never comes. 

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would. 

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob. 

This was never going to bring him back. 

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace. 

They won’t execute you. 

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t. 

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child. 

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels. 

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter? 

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo. 

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore. 

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks. 

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at. 

New Leo. 

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you. 

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him. 

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you. 

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer. 

And it clicks. 

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong. 

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

//

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

[alaritheaurora]

Hey so, what the fuck is up with Shilo and Emizel?

Like yeah, they're brothers. Confirmed twins by Condi. How???

It's been made pretty clear that Shilo is half human, or at least in those kinds of vibes. There is never once a mention of his turning, he seems pretty clueless on humans, he has aged to his current age. But then he can also somewhat digest food, and his aura looks like a human aura. Yeah, that's all good, checks out.

What about Emizel? It is very hinted at, if not stated that Jeffrey is not his real father, but that he found or adopted him when he was still a baby. If Emizel is half vampire like Shilo, wouldn't he show that? He would, yeah, at least a bit. But he hasn't.

Even if takes more human traits, like Shilo takes more vampires traits. But he hasn't. There are no vampire traits. He's not faster, not stronger, doesn't have enhanced senses. I'm sure he would've noticed by now if he could do some mind shit or thought that blood looked particularily yummy. Even appearance wise, while we don't know exactly what he looked like, it is said that he is going through the vampire transition, becoming paler, getting fangs, pointy ears, red eyes. That is changing, he did not have that before. He looked like a human, he acted like a human.

The only time when he's human that he acts vampiric is when they say that "in the streetlight, it's almost like your eyes glow red" (not a direct quote, AT ALL, pulled from my ass and memore) but that is in reference to the all of the Demons. The whole gang have symbolism in their eyes.

The other time is when Emizel has been bitten and has the urge to bite his soon-to-be-sire back. There is something urging him to bite the guy. But that isn't necessarily a vampire thing. Vampires don't really bite other vampires. And for all we know, maybe there's some dying instinct that recognizes that vampire blood could save your life if you've been bitten. Or hell, Emizel just seems like he's kinda just like that. It does not seem out of character for his last dying action to be to bite someone.

So like, wtf? Why is Shilo half vampire and Emizel not?

I still think that the queen is their mom. I don't think she'd give a shit about Shilo if he weren't her son. And Emizel seems like the one she's keeping tabs on.

So here's my Lil theory. It was mentioned that vampires could briefly turn humans to eat shit. Now I don't know the vampire masquerade mechanics or shit, but it seems to me like maybe that could aply to more than just eating food. So like, maybe miss Queen Vampire wanted a night on the town, or hell, maybe she wanted a kid. So she got it on with some human, maybe Jeffrey, maybe not.

Gurl gets pregnant, but oops, it's twins. And when they're born, after a bit it's achingly clear one of them is more human than the other. Turns out, maybe doing the do while human fucked shit up a bit, so while the kids could carry vampire genes, they also could not at all. In fact it was probably more likely for the kid to not be a vampire at all.

So now her Majesty has two sons. One who looks like a vampire, one who doesn't. She's worried about both of them because they are at the very least half human and humans tend to die easily. She says "Hey, I'll give it time, maybe Emizel will just take time to be more vampire like, it's possible it's not an instantaneous thing"

She waits. Shilo is clearly a vampire. He drinks blood, he has little fangs, his eyes are red. Emizel, decidedly does and is not. After a few months, it becomes clear that Emizel is not a vampire. Fuck. What do they do?

Her council (or whatever the fuck they are) suggest to just kill Emizel, he's human, besides she already has one son, why need another? Miss Her Majesty is like "I dealt with too much morning sickness to get kill this kid". So maybe out of suggestion of the council, maybe out of fear for his life, she decides to ship baby Emizel off the LA without telling anyone. There he can grow up with humans and live a human life and not be as in danger as in the castle. Besides, she can just keep tabs on him so that if he does end up being half vampire she can scoop him up and plop him with his brother.

At least that's what I think. It's possible that Emizel is just built different.

[justhellabifandom]

I'm so sick and tired of the toxicity going on currently in the 9-1-1 fandom. Like don't get me wrong every fandom has it's toxic side but this bs has just grown since Buck came out and Tommy and him started dating.

Like TommyxBuck shippers have been sending people de*th threats to people who have different opinions,or buddie shippers. If your reaction to anyone talking negative about your favorite ship is to send them de*th threats there's something really wrong with you.

Then there's all the biphobia going on. Saying shit like "I hope Buck gets HIV after breaking up with Tommy." Or "Buck isn't bi if he wasn't with Tommy." I'm begging you look up the definition of bisexual,Buck could date another woman or date another dude after Tommy and still be bisexual!! He could date a non-binary person and still be bisexual. Just because hes dating Tommy doesn't mean he's any less bisexual,and if theres ever a break up it doesn't make him any less bisexual. His journey doesn't depend around Tommy,it's his and no one's else. Also saying your hoping a character gets HIV is fucked up for a few reasons,it's stereotyping bisexuals/queer people and it's harmful. Like do people not know what that is?? How people used to use it a excuse to hate queer people in the 1980s and 1990s?? And the people we lost to it??

Now let's get to people wanting Eddie to be killed off. People generally want a cannon Latino to be killed off just so Tommy and Buck raise Chris??? Once again tf. And the fact people now want Eddie to be killed off after his actor opened up about a su*c*de attempt?? This generally hurts people who have delt with this stuff and for people to want this to happen,when we had both Maddie and Bobby struggle with it. Don't get me wrong mental health needs to be talked about more and I'm thankful for 9-1-1 for talking about it,but it's the fact people want this to parallel what the actor went through blows my mind.

Then people trying to justify Lou ferrgnio racist and grows past. I'm sorry if your using Ryans and Olivers past to validate the stuff he's done,is so messed up. What Ryan did cost him his relationship with the rest of the cast for a few years,and he got cancelled and attacked online back in 2020. It's only now Ryan and the rest of the cast have made addends,but it doesn't change the fact he was held accountable for his actions which he should be. He's apologized,showed he wanted to and made sure he would do better. Nothing will change the fact he said it. For Lou he literally kept shit up on his Instagram and never took it down,and tried to justify his characters actions. He never apologized,never took down the post,he just kept it up even though it's harmful. If someone does something they should be held accountable for there actions,even if it's from the past since it could still hurt people now. Also charging 200 dollars for cameros just to make up head cannons about his character.

Also ignoring cannon,like big plots like Buck literally hating his name,gets pissed off at his parents for calling him it. And now people are calling him Evan?

[frogs-with-tea]

they could never keep me from you my beloved (drawing comics)

So I've been dark on this page for a min because I had a big life event happen (I moved away to college so now im living on my own) and over that time period I haven't really had time to draw. I'm all settled in now and I have a whole art studio set up(!!!!!) and I finally feel like creating again. I've suffered from pretty bad art block before I had to move, so finally having a creative space has been a really wonderful change.

SO about this comic in particular, I just really wanted to paint something so I ran with a new idea I had. As much as I love the Zosan ship, I've kind of gotten really tired of drawing them and I needed a change of pace. So LawKid is the new ship I've glomed on to. I'm past fishman island and I'm getting to the parts that have Law and Kid as big players and shipping them just gets me more excited.

Since I can't leave well enough alone, I did start thinking about some a/b/o/mpreg stories for them. But one thing about that is that I honestly don't think Law would want kids or would want to be pregnant. So I ploted out an abortion story (because there aren't enough mpreg abortion stories and I think LawKid could make one very comical) but then I started thinking hmmmmmm but what if I made a cute LawKiD oc. what then?! So since in my mind Law would probably not knowingly stay pregnant, I decided to go the route of a Cryptic Pregnancy story. It has 10x the drama and 10x the angst of a normal pregnancy story. But then that got me thinking "okay so he has the baby now. He probably wouldn't want to hold on to it." I think Law would be torn between wanting to kick the kid to the curb, and getting really sad at the idea of creating another orphan. So I think in his high emotion, high distress, state of suddenly giving birth, he drops the kid on the deck of the Victoria Punk and then fucks off. He would 100% make it Kid's problem.

The story would be about the Kid pirates and the Strawhats trying to find where Law vanished to, all while Kid figures out how to be a father. I also would want there to be flashbacks of Law and Kid's relationship developing, the horror moment where Law goes into labor, and then what the Heart Pirates are dealing with while Law has a downward spiral.

I'd love to draw all of that but at my current speed level it isn't feasible, but maybe one day. I was originally going to draw more pages for this, but I was feeling the one page curse (where I get one full page done but struggle with even starting the others), and since I put to much work into this page, I thought might as well post it.

I can really be dragged down by my ideas sometimes, like I have so many things I wanna make but I feel like there isn't enough time to do them all the exact way I want. I'm trying to be freer with my art and take a slower pace with how I grow as a comic artist. I have so many comics I want to make, so I'm going to just try and make them!!! But that requires me to think a little smaller for now, and just draw what I want in the moment, even if it's not how I envision it in my mind.

And if you've read through all my yapping, I love you.

[beanghostprincess]

ShuggyUta family is so cute and funny bc like.

One one hand - AAAA CUTE Uta one day having the EPIPHANY that half of her hair is WHITE, and HAIR DYE EXISTS so she hunts down the closest blue to Buggy's hair. She dyes it in the middle of the night, and either comes out next morning completely casual OR bursts out like "DAD, PAPA, LOOK NOW I HAVE BOTH OF YOU WITH ME :DD"

They both implode immediately ((and Buggy gives her the "The sentiment is so sweet baby, but remember you never ever have to change your appearance to be worthy of love. If you want to, want it for yourself, okay? We love you no matter what" talk))

Then there's also the shenanigans.

Buggy: .... whatchya got there?

Shanks and Uta, both holding one of Luffy's hands, holding cups in the other: ........ smoothies?

<><><><><>

Buggy: Shanks so help me, I TOLD YOU not to get another kid-

Shanks: whaaaaaat? Hahaha, no Bugaboo. You told me very specifically I am not to adopt another child :))

Buggy: so why are there two new children in the kitchen

Luffy: I adopted them!

Uta: we have big brothers now!

Shanks:

Buggy:

Shanks: you told me not to adopt anyone. You didn't tell Lu or Uta.

Buggy: alright. That one's on me.

<><><><><>

Rayleigh, surprise visiting his kids: hello my children, I have swam across the Grandline- is that a kid?

Buggy, Uta on one hip, Sabo on his shoulders, Luffy on his back and Ace clinging to his leg and glaring death at Ray: four, actually.

Ray:

Buggy:

Ray: I'm a grandpa? And you didn't TELL ME??

<><><><><>

Shanks: happy mothers day, Bug!

Buggy: i'm... not a woman?

Shanks: maybe not but you ARE a botto-

Buggy: punches him I'm keeping the roses and chocolates

<><><><><>

Buggy and Shanks teaching them the pirates code, weapons, Haki, sailing, navigation, etc.

Shanks has a moment of "is it really okay to have them on the ship? We were in danger, Bug, it hurt us, what if we're hurting THEM-??"

Buggy smacks him. "We're learning from our dads' mistakes, Red. It's not perfect. We're not perfect. We just need to be the best we can and always put them first. We need to communicate. If we leave them, we can't protect them. If we leave, they'll be on their own. This is the lesser evil. We need to have their security as our priority. We're pirates, but we're parents, too. We can not commit to one over the other, but we can't let it hurt our babies. They're ours now. We are NOT leaving them behind."

<><><><><>

Ace gets a crash course in his history. It's rocky at first, but it's only bc he asks Buggy and Shanks ((separately, mind you)) about "if Gold Roger Had A Kid".

Buggy responds with a snort. "I mean, he kinda had two? But if we had another, then word, I guess? I'd be a little annoyed."

"Bc of his blood?"

"What? No. I'd be pissed that Captain didn't tell me. Asshole move, that. Why do you ask, freckles?"

Shanks, meanwhile, just shrugs. "Ya know how they say blood is thicker than water?"

"... yeah?"

"Yeah, it's bullshit. I wouldn't really care. If Captain had a kid, that's just not my business. I bled with him, for him, and he did for me. I think of him as my father, so I guess that would be sort of like... a little sibling, maybe? But it'd be up to the kid. Your blood doesn't define you, Ace. That's a lesson all good pirates know."

"......... mm."

<><><><><>

Sabo, no warning, in the middle of dinner: I'm a runaway noble.

Shanks: oh neat.

Buggy: oh? Which family? Want me to rob them for you?

Sabo: you aren't mad???

Uta, shrugging: it doesn't matter. You're still a feral jungle brat. Besides, if anyone in the family passes as a fancy pants noble, it's me!

Buggy: 🤨

Uta: ... and mama Bug. I guess.

Luffy: I don't care. Sabo is Sabo.

Ace: yeah, what he said.

Buggy: I will still rob them though.

<><><><><>

That's all I got rn baaaaiiii

Help these are all great 😭 You made my day with this <3

They just keep adopting kids and expanding the family. When they grow up, they get their partners and Zoro, Yamato, Koala, and Perona are there 24/7 because these kids cannot have a normal relationship that isn't based on codependency and both Shanks and Buggy have to deal with four more people around.

Ace telling them he is Roger's child and Sabo telling them he is a noble??? That kills me. They'd be so supportive and protective of them, too. It kills me.

Also, Buggy would ADORE these kids. Rayleigh comes over and sees the whole thing and Shanks thinks he's going to be angry because they didn't tell him but the man is just amazed they managed to have a family of their own without fucking up. Buggy keeps saying it was thanks to him because Shanks wouldn't have been able to do it on his own and, like, everybody agrees.

[lemotmo]

❤️

Q. What I'm truly confused by is why they want people to hate Ryan and Oliver so much. Like they aren't attacking Eddie and Buck nearly as much as they're attacking Ryan and Oliver. I'm so confused by that.

A. Everything we are seeing is because they know, in spite of everything they are saying, that Tommy's existence on this show relies entirely on his relationship with Buck. The minute that relationship runs it course story wise he is gone, and they know it. Because of that Eddie became their enemy. Oliver wants Buck with Eddie. A significant portion of their audience wants Buck with Eddie. In their minds they needed the audience to turn on Eddie to make the case for Tommy. But their campaign didn't accomplish anything so they shifted gears and decided to go after Ryan personally. Unfortunately for Ryan, and the rest of us, in the middle of their hate campaign towards Ryan, Lou said some things during his cameo videos, and his Twitter past came to light, and people's reaction to those two things caused his fans campaign against Ryan to become even uglier. What they are attempting to do to Ryan is disgusting. He was completely out of line when he said what he said a few years ago, but he owned it. He acknowledged that he needed to work on some things and better educate himself on things he really didn't seem to understand. And he did it. He went away and genuinely educated himself, and made changes in his life that allowed him to grow and better himself as a human being. Which is all we can ever ask of one another. I will never understand how he could have said it, but that's not the point. What I can see and understand is the work he has clearly put into growing and learning from his mistakes. They don't get to erase Ryan's personal growth because it hurts their already weak defense of Lou. And that's what they are trying to do. And they're trying to do it all in the name of a temporary plot device on a television show. And that's too immature and disgusting to be allowed to happen. So we aren't allowing it to happen. And that angers them.

Their entire problem with Oliver is that he doesn't appear to be friends with Lou, and he isn't promoting their preferred ship. He promotes and talks about his preferred ship, which is what Oliver has always done. Oliver isn't doing anything he hasn't always done. What he has with Ryan is what they're trying to demand he have with Lou. They are completely dependent on Buck, and Oliver is making it pretty clear they're fighting a losing battle. Somewhere along the way someone convinced them that even though there aren't that many of them if they are nasty enough, and loud enough they can bully Ryan, Oliver and Tim into submission. It was an absurd plan and is of course a complete failure, but they're going to be as horrible as possible on their way out. We're nearing their end though, and Oliver and Ryan completely ignoring them is causing them more anger than we ever could. Our boys will be just fine. 💗

Thank you Nonny! :) Again much appreciated!

I admit that my brain has been fried by that deleted Eddie and Christopher scene we just got. So you won't get anything interesting out of me at the moment. xD LOL!

I also don't have the same insight in fandom dynamics that Ali does, so I'm just going to let her do her thing and answer this question as only she can. :)

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[nyan-koii]

Hii! Do you have any recs of sebschumi fics or content on tumblr? Or like literally anything; pictures, interviews? I'm new to this duo and I'm lacking the content. :(

HI ANON !! SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL 💖

Thank you so so much for this question. I genuinely squealed and teared up when i saw this. Im happy theyre getting more acknowledgement and that you're willing to learn more about them !! For starters, they dont have much contents at all and most of them are quite difficult to find but i've gathered some of them that will help you to understand why this ship and their bond between one another beats every other seb's pairings 🙏 it's quite a long thread because i want to pull you down into this hole hehehehhehehehe

Tumblr contents

1. @/effervescentdragon post of hero worshipping and yearning

: this emotional heart wrenching web weaving about sebschumi is so incredible as it gives you an insight of how they both work and play out in each other's life from the first time seb saw michael at the karting club and the times when seb reminiscence about his past with michael. This was the last straw that made me realise that sebschumi deserves so so much if not more than sebmark ngl. Everything just hurts and they did it so well with the web weaving!!

2. @/schumi-honey post about germancedes and how michael always chooses seb at the end of the day

: now this one is REALLY REALLY INTERESTING FOR ME BECAUSE michael, being in a team that gave brawn their world champion, jean todt asking him to come back into said team with a potentially wdc teammate who is also half german half finnish but races under the german flag will still find and choose sebastian vettel at the end of the day. If that doesnt sound crazy to you then i'm sorry but you're missing out. The post is incredible as it shows how does michael act with a person, and with sebastian. He changes completely !! Thats true love man.

3. @/andromedasummer post about mary sue seb

: this one gives a view of how sebastian is totally the y/n in his life story and when that moment of truth comes to your realization, you just gotta go like DAMN this kid is lucky af because a wdc michael, the pride of german at that time chooses SEBASTIAN VETTEL to be his successor among all other kids, Michael that said "this 12 year old is making my life difficult! He's so fast," to Gerhard who will later on recruit him under redbull sponsorship. Crazy right? It's like Seb is the chosen one in Michael's life. The one that will continue his legacy (people have been calling and referring him as 'baby schumi') and the one that will eventually become one of his closest friend on and outside the grid. And we also got this from the post which has never left my mind after reading it and never failed to make me cry... they both are so superior and connected with each other... red string of fate type of dynamic is so strong here....

4. Kart Club Kerpen Sebschumi

: this just means a lot to me because michael and seb first met here and to see them karting with each other, laughing and getting so so comfortable around each other's presence shows how much they've grown while indirectly growing up with one another. SEBSCHUMI YOU'RE MY WORLDDDD

5. Pranksters Sebschumi

: It's just so so fun and refreshing to see their dynamics in this one. Michael and seb being menances, partners in crime everytime they're spotted together and how seb will do anything michael asked him to even if it means causing riot in other's life,,, LIKE???? I CANT BELIEVE THESE GAYS OMG but yeah, their dynamics are soooo good i love them so much 💖

6. Recent Seb interview about Michael

: this iirc was during that time where seb did a test with porsche and then we got this interview saying how seb just misses michael which he refers to as a friend.... my heart broke im telling you i cant handle it😞 michael also said that he was glad to found seb in his life and that in his world full of ego, seb is the only one that he feels genuine to be with which michael also labelled their relationship as something special. SHOOT ME ALREADY KILL ME IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW DAWGGG

Fic recs

Onto the good part now☺ keep in mind that we barely have any fics about them so please if any of you guys have ideas for them, dont be afraid to share it to ao3 <3 because I WILL BE THE PERSON THAT WILL THOROUGHLY ENJOY IT THE MOST LIKE I'LL BE YOUR NO 1 FAN !!! And please dont forget to comment and leave kudos to them 🙏

1. Never have I ever by Tianvette

: theres this unspoken rule created by god tianvette regarding sebschumi and honestly, it really really shaped them both into so much more because like,, that headcanon? That fanon?? It's canon now because ONLY MICHAEL CAN CALL SEBASTIAN AS "BASTI" AND NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CALL HIM THAT 🙏 so thank you to this fic for making them more special than ever.

2. Im sorry by @/n-ico-ando

: OKAY OKAY OKAY THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIC THAT MADE ME GOT INTO OLD F1 FANDOM, SEBASTIAN VETTEL AND SEBSCHUMI ITS JUST SO GOOD OKAY?!?!? JUST READ IT AND YOU'LL GET WHAT I MEAN I LOVE THIS FIC WITH MY WHOLE LIFE IT CHANGED ME TO A BETTER PERSON AURGGHGHSHAJSA VERY VERY NORMAL WITH THIS ONE,, I SWEAR.... MY BIBLE MY CAUSE OF EUPHORIA

3. I'm gonna take mind of you with me by @/likethegardensofbabylonn

: this fic is ongoing but GOSH GOSH GOSH OH GOD THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ IT. The settings took place with seb remembering his memories with michael before and after the accident so yeah, if you need a good heartbreaking and gut wrenching story about angsty sebschumi, this is the one because it's just so perfect with seb's thoughts his internal conflicts and how the author makes a great interpretations on seb's character. This fic feels so close to me because of how true and close the whole settings and narrations sound like with my thoughts so yes, it's something you should invest your time and think of everytime someone said sebschumi.

4. Use me Use me (cause i ain't no average groupie) by @/horn-knee-demons-anonymous

: I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS FIC EXCEPT THAT HOW BRILLIANT AND ALLURING THE STORY IS. I've always wanted a seb harem fic with sebschumi as the endgame considering of the drought ive been facing so when this fic came, it's as if god has heard my prayers because truly this fic alongside with the author herself, my guiding moonlight and the stars of my night, are just god given with how much they changed the trajectory of my life and im so glad i met her and able to read her works. The worldbuilding, the consistency in every single characters, the dynamics, their interactions and every single wordings here leaves you wanting for more and makes you feel like you're on the edge of your seat! It's like "am i allowed to be reading this for free!?!?" But really, this is a masterpiece so please give them all of your love and be there while it's still ongoing <3

5. Hurts by Molly_lovers1

: as a fan of dead dove with a huge favouritism of age gap and underage characters, i was super happy when i first read this fic mainly because of the struggle, the push and pull dynamics between sebschumi and their guilt ridden thoughts as well as their burning desire that makes this feels so so good yet vile to be reading. It's that kind of fic where i jerked off to every night while thinking about it lolll BUT IM SO SO SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

6. How to treat a guest by yours truly

: shameless self promo but i was trying to spread my sebschumika agenda here☺💖 i hope you get the vision too hehe !!

Videos

The complete compilations of all known sebschumi sources can be found here though it doesnt cover much of the roc contents but still!! This one is a really really good guide for them both 🥰

Michael Schumacher and Sebastian Vettel Compilation

And ROC 2007 cuts of sebastian vettel because this was their first race together as a teammate, michael had just retired and he brought a newly fresh boy as his team to compete against all the other drivers. If that's not love and bias then i dont know what to say because oh god, this does so much to me as a person who worships sebschumi everyday.

Roc 2007 Sebastian Vettel Cuts

Articles

I cant put pictures anymore so this is all for now !! I hope by the end of this post, everyone will become and realize the true power of sebschumi 🥰🙏🔥🔥

[tehrogueva]

I've seen people call you a proshipper, but from what I can see from your blogs is you grew out of it (that's at least what I've seen from observation of this and your old blog). So I don't know why people still hold it over your head like your a bad person for having a past and growing from it

I'm not sure the full story on how everything went down because I just went into the search and looked up different proships until I found Frans and the old blog which has it's last Frans post THREE years ago which people can change in a month and there's no new Frans things you made/reblogged sense then

I dunno this is mostly just me rambling on how people don't get the concept that adults can also learn and grow and it's not just kids because if you were a minor people would say "you were just a kid back then"

i have not nor will i never be a proshipper

did i do frans comics in the past? yes. i never liked the ship, it was just for content and i liked the art style. the reason i justifyed it to my self is that Friks in the comics i did was an adult and also a bit of a self insert for the artist. so it seemed ok to me.

i still personaly see Frisk as a self insert as a whole. since its us who control them for the whole game of undertale. we only see them as frisk aftert weve beaten the game.

just my opinion but you dont have to agree with my enturpretation of the game and Frisks role in it

getting back to your question. i noticed that the fandom has gotten very vocal about Frans. so to avoid confict i went and deleted all the frans videos i did on my channel

also i was like 25 when i got into undertale. im 32 now. have i grown up and learned better since when i first got into the fandom? yes i have.

i just want to make content i enjoy and others enjoy and avoid any kinda drama or contravericy.

anything think you have herd about me saying im a proshipper is not true

aside from the old frans dubs idk where people are getting the idea that im a proshipper.

im a multishipper get it rigtht XD

anyways i hope this clears up any doubt in your or other peoples mind about where i stand on the issue

[freyaloi]

You know... I can't help but feel that Orb is talking about Junior and his father here. (also possibly referring to the royal family from their own era but anyway) Time to get my brain worms out.

When Junior's animations changed a few months ago, I've been pondering the meaning of it ever since.

I may be fairly new to the game and not particularly active but it's the story, and more specifically Junior that caught my eye and made me want to play, even if sporadically.

When I first saw him, he was a lot more confident, standing tall and proud, flourishing his cutlass as if he didn't have a care in the world.

These days, however, his animations seem a lot more guarded, he's hunched, hiding his face, turning away... He's even putting his cutlass between himself and us. Now to me, that tells me there's something wrong with him or something is going on, and I've always wondered if everything he's done in the name of his father is starting to catch up to him.

In the book where he describes himself, he gives no hint of having any evil nature. Ambitious, overconfident and a bit of an idiot? Absolutely, but not evil... But back then he didn't have any street smarts either, so to speak. Now I know being a skeleton changes things and messes with the mind, but it wasn't until he met Wanda that he fixated on Serving his Father, obsessively so, desperate to prove himself like so many others. That adoration and idealisation he had of Flameheart as a child still persists even though his mental image was reshaped by her.

Flameheart was never a good man, he was a bully and a tyrant and still is, but even though he was an absent father, he still gave Junior the best childhood he could, perhaps reliving his own ideal childhood fantasies through his newly adopted son. (that could be another reason why he adopted the child in the first place because it seems so out of character but anyway) That left Junior with a deep level of affection for him, which of course we know about... (but perhaps some melancholy too)

But the Flameheart we have now isn't the one he knew growing up. He in fact never was, only telling him an idealised version of events and keeping secrets. Junior himself says his father told him he didn't need to know what he saved the boy from. (Flameheart attacked and sank the ship Junior was on as a baby so there's that)

That brings me to my theory...

I can't help but wonder if actually working 'with' his Father has begun to create cracks in that blazing ideal image of his, that those rose-tinted glasses are beginning to slip, no matter which shape they take. He had one idea of his father in his mind as a child, that of a hero, which set him on his journey in the first place. No doubt the Cap'n gave him one too, telling him of the betrayal and the horrors he committed... Then so did Wanda, praising him, lording him, and elevating him to the kingly status Flameheart craves now. (though part of that was obviously her own ambition speaking)

But with them all out of the picture, Junior gets to see his father for who he truly is now, for the bloodthirsty, blazing pit of vicious sadistic hatred that he actually is.

For a while, I could see him obsessively working to serve his father as he said he would, in fact, we've seen this with him creating and being the face of the Reapers we know today, resurrecting his father and being his right-hand man. I'm sure for a while he would have been over the moon to be working alongside his father, the man he adored growing up, his idol, his role model... Well, you know what they say about meeting your idols...

Here we are now, with Flameheart back near his full power and seeking more and yet... You would think Junior would be elated, even with his reserved and tempered mannerisms. Yet to my eyes... He looks the complete opposite, small, retreating... in pain even....

Let's not forget he's a Skeleton Lord, even though he's nowhere near the power level of Flameheart, he's not just a regular old skeleton... So like Duke, like Wanda... He still retains the majority of his mind. And to my knowledge... He is not bound to Flameheart by magic... only by word. Junior is an intelligent man, one who has gained the use of dark magic, and knows a great deal of disciplines from the outside world. He's a studious, patient and learned man who was trained to be very observant.

So is he having second thoughts? Is that why they changed his animations? Is he beginning to see the truth of his actions and having regrets? Has he realised that the man he's working for, isn't the matching up to the ideal image in his head? (whatever that looks like now)

It could also be he's being prepared to be sacrificed in some ritual, I could see Flameheart doing something like that to maintain his status and power... after all, his biggest fear is being beaten... and currently the biggest potential threat to him... is his right-hand man... as always. After all, it wouldn't be out of fashion for a King's closest advisor and Servant to inevitably betray them.

It would be poetic and fitting for Flameheart (should he need to be defeated at some point for plot resolution) to be beaten by his hubris again, at the hand of his second-in-command. After all, Junior had always dreamed of surpassing his father's legend... And betrayal is a founding principle of the Reaper's Bones... A founding act that Flameheart himself initiated three decades ago.

And we all know, Junior is not safe... but then, now that Flameheart is back, with a thirst for vengeance and army at his fingertips... nobody is.

Anyway, this is my long-ass theoretical ramble that I desperately needed to get out of my brain (god there is so much more i could add but this is plenty long enough so props to you if you read this marathon of prattling). I could be completely off the mark, but fair enough, but this is what I do, latch onto a character, learn the lore and theorise. :)

Anyway, let's see where the story goes, as always me and Raven will be watching from the sidelines with popcorn in hand.

[oswildin]

that's why I loved the loki series, I'm sick of all the hate that it gets just because loki is different. It's called character growth people! I mean I love all versions of loki. He was awesome in the movies but I also loved him in the show and the finale really made him one of the top 5 best mcu character for me.

Don’t get me wrong, the show isn’t at all perfect, but nothing is! I do feel it could’ve done with 8 episodes per season to really show the progression more of Loki’s character, deal and address some of his past trauma and accepting his true heritage etc (which I suppose they touch on or it is implied, but for the sake of plot they did kinda brush it aside). It did feel a little quick to happen, but again he was just plucked from his timeline and shown his whole life, so I suppose the reality set in pretty quick for him.

I think a lot of people cling onto Avengers!Loki (like I get it, trust me haha) a little too much, when realistically he was wearing a mask (I also am not a ‘Loki was mind controlled’ truther. He knew what he was doing and why he did it. I think the circumstances and possible slight influence of the mind stone just egged him on though). He was extremely angry and hurt during the end of Thor and in Avengers, hell even the beginning of Dark World. He even says it himself:

“Trust my rage.”

I suppose in the series, S1 Loki is just so defeated in a way because he realises that ‘nothing matters’, because it is all set out for him. Loki was never evil, did he do bad things? Yes, but he was not evil.

“No one good is ever truly good, and no one bad is ever truly bad.”

The people in the series around him help him grow, realise his potential beyond the expectations and limitations himself and others had put on him. Classic!Loki helps him realise he is more powerful than he realised, Kid!Loki makes him realise he could’ve actually been capable of killing his own brother, Sylvie gives him motivation to be better, to fight for something that matters and Mobius makes Loki see he can be whatever he wants to be, he doesn’t always need masks and illusions.

S2 Loki feels he has something worth protecting, a chosen family if you will. He knows he can’t go back to his timeline, and he failed to protect his mother, he failed being worthy in the eyes of his father, and he failed to see how Thor truly did care for him on the sacred timeline. So now… He’s determined to change that. We still see glimpses of the many facets of his character, S2 EP2 with his ability to be the Loki/God of Mischief people expect, S2 EP 5 with his selfishness and of course the finale where he reaches his ‘full potential’ so to speak.

‘Sentiment is a weakness’ has always been something Loki said or thought he believed… When in reality, sentiment drove all of his actions in the films. And that is mirrored in the series too.

Loki didn’t just suddenly become ‘soft’, it was always there, he just convinced himself that he wasn’t the same as his brother because he wasn’t like his brother… But if you strip everything back, the truth is he is just a ‘scared little boy’, as Mobius put it, who in the past latched onto what he knows best - chaos and mischief.

I cannot comment on the reasons people hate the show when it comes to the complexity of Norse mythology being used for his character, I am not well versed in it enough. I also enjoyed the Sylvie and Loki storyline - especially the complexity of S2 and their clashes. And I also enjoy Mobius and Loki’s bond and how they both helped one another grow. I don’t care about ships particularly, and I certainly don’t let it affect my opinion on the show because of that reason. Plus, I do love Sylvie as a character.

But as a MCU Loki fan, who has grown up with him since Thor1/Avengers, I think the show just expanded upon the character we finally got to see more of in Ragnarok/Infinity War. Tom even said himself that Loki has variety, he ‘plays all the keys’… Loki is never going to be one thing. And I love that about him, it’s what makes him interesting.

I could really go on and on but uh… I better not. Sorry, the special interest was really special interesting here lmao. 💚

Edit: would like to add that people who dislike the show for whatever reasons are entitled to dislike it, just as I’m entitled to enjoy it!

[ideas-4-stories]

Apologies for the mistakes and the bother. I just have some ideas, but no one to ask opinions about it. Since the Cross Guild first appeared it took charge of my mind. Every idea is revolving around these three dysfunctional and improbable "allies." Some days ago a fan-made illustration popped up, possibly inspired by the film Red, in which Buggy's daughter was pictured. And something clicked. An idea. (I know that inserting OC is an annoyance to some, sorry, it amuses me instead.) In the trail of parallelisms and similarities, I thought: what if Buggy, like Shanks, raised and adopted a little girl? From there, a whole story unfolded.

When Buggy was still fairly young, with no large crew, not yet the crew he later made, was all the more fixated on treasures and instant riches. Still too afraid to venture out, insecure of what he could be, anchored in the East Blue, he looked for treasure maps and he found the map for the legendary Gold Island. He figured he could become the wealthiest man in East Blue and sailed there. Except he found nothing, save for a silent child.

Nearly subconsciously, mindful of what Gol D. Roger did long ago, he took her with him. Giving her a name, a name the foundling without any memory of herself hadn't. (Pierroy, after a doll found in a store on a different island, days later, stolen during a hurried escape) Years pass and Buggy's crew changes, he becomes the Genius Jester, the Flashy Clown. And Pierroy emulates him a bit, in admiration. Trusting him blindly. Adoring him, as only a daughter would. But Pierroy, Buggy realized, for he was never a fool, has something unusual. Something of value. Lots of value. Thus Buggy lets her cover an eye. Helps her dye the hair a deepest blue. Helps her disguise herself. Meanwhile, he discovers. And he holds all the research in a secret file in his cabin. On his notes he underlines "government" and "experiments" and little else painstakingly discovered.

At the same time, Pierroy grows up. Among acrobatics and circus tricks. Amid chemistry lessons and basic physics. With joy, mostly. Misfortune though always comes, and for Pierroy it's called Luffy. And his father's defeat. And the exposure of all the research he did. And odd notes. Almost as to study her (use her, Nami suggests her) and insecurity, doubt, assaults Pierroy. And when Buggy comes back it's confrontation the first thing she seeks. Misunderstandings and lack of communication, like a rebellious teenager against her parents, Pierroy abruptly vanishes overnight without even a goodbye note.

But life goes on and Buggy carries on. He occasionally search information, finds some from time to time, but ultimately convinces himself that it was for the best. A pirate ship is no place to grow up, least of all his own. And time passes and so much happens. And then, one day, news, rumor almost, of a secret execution that occurred in utter silence. The Marine, rumor says, killed a young woman with a red star eyepatch over her eye. And everything changes.

Buggy erupts into fits of rage first and grave silence later. He disappears from view. No more public appearances. No more meetings. And no threats have any effect anymore. Nothing Crocodile can do has any effect. Nothing Mihawk can say has any effect. Buggy is deaf to all. In a guilty state, he rambles at the moon. Drinking too much, eating too little. (Refusing to admit it, Mihawk and Crocodile become increasingly concerned) And with Buggy's past exposed (from the insecurities he felt as a child, what life was like before he was found, what it was after, about Shanks and Pierroy and a sea of confessions) undesirable feelings of empathy arise in Crocodile, memories that no longer want to be removed, not now they resurface. (Nightmares, he calls it. A stubborn woman died alone. A man who thought he had all the solutions for every evil, all the time. Child's eyes) And memories arise in Mihawk, too. (A large family. A kindly foolish father. A monastery and a silver sword soiled with tragedy. Devil's eye) Past and present mingle. Unspoken truths and others to be silenced again. And more that have always been lies. (Spoiler: while Buggy is mourning, there's a ship with a crew of frauds that fishes out a redheaded and gives him to the care of a weird woman, who talks to a closet from which pink feathers slide out, now and then in a fit of laughter; on their way to a circus, so they say)

I sincerely apologize for the length of the ask. I know it's not an original or outstanding idea, but could it be of any interest at least slightly? If you want, I would be very happy to receive feedback. But anyhow, I thank you so much.

Please never apologize for the length, I love reading asks and don’t worry about grammer mistakes because I ain’t the best at it either. Anyway, HOLY STARS ABOVE AND BEYOND! I do not care if it’s not original or outstanding idea, it’s definitely very interesting, don’t you worry (I have some OCs that are basically Buggy’s children all but blood, it’s not so weird)

This is so heartbreaking, noooooooooooooooooooo, I want to feel like Buggy did it so he could find away to help her with it and it goes all wrong. I don’t know, this sounds so depressing. Pierroy! Poor girl, Buggy going away from public view becuase of mourning, the marines didn’t want things to go down the same way as Ace’s execution did.

The spoiler, hopefully Pierroy is okay… right?

[jascurka]

this is purely out of curiosity and i don't want to send hate your way, but do you ship mob and reigen? and if so, why?

I do, yeah. An ex-friend of mine asked me the exact same question (just more... harshly I think and with what I assumed was prejudice) before they decided to part our ways and I could never properly answer them because I was so stressed by the situation, it was hard to gather my thoughts. So I'll do my best to explain here, hopefully to make myself understood better.

Sorry if this gets lenghty >_< I'll just put a readmore right here.

I think the biggest reason for why I like them is their canon relationship that has been explored in the series already quite thoroughly - that they have changed eachother, helped eachother grow and one wouldn't be the person they are without the other. I think most of us understand the depth of it. Reigen is Mob's teacher and friend, someone like an older brother. There surely is a strong bond between them and they've seen each other at their best and worst and still acknowledged and accepted eachother's flaws. They trust eachother, they would give their life for eachother even (at least Reigen would, he almost did in the finale after all). And I do think that they love eachother but in a way that isn't actually romantic in canon. I'm perfectly capable of realizing that and I value it a lot both in the series and in fanworks (one of my fav works of fanfiction is about exactly that).

It was my curiosity that made me search up a ship fic of them, I was just confused why people ship them in the first place and whether it can be good and I found myself enjoying it a lot (to my surprise). It was set into the future, and dealt with some serious topics like loss and acceptance, it was kind of bittersweet. Then I felt that maybe it was just slightly ooc because all of the serirei fics I was busy reading depicted Reigen slightly different. Nontheless, I had the other ship on my mind then so I never really dived into Mob/Reigen, but it changed my perspective on them a lot.

And at some point into all this I realized, why not? Why can't I haz 2 cookies? (god im sorry that was terrible sfjgsdkj). What I mean is that the buildup canon offers can be taken further - more of their relationship can be explored in terms of new tropes, sometimes romantic too.

On a personal note I'll just add that I'm rather picky about them and tend to stick to fluff, hurt/comfort and slow slow burns. And I like them most post-canon, a few years into the future. It turns out that it all depends on how they're portrayed for me to like them anyways. I talked on here recently about a work that really had it all and portrayed their relationship in a very satisfying and mature way, with all the complicated feelings, it felt very realistic, especially on Reigen's side. So if anyone wants, here's a rec from me again -> in my dreams (I seem to be more honest) on ao3, just because I think it has all that I like about the ship.

I think that this is the whole point of fanworks - to kind of look further and have fun with it, to see "what if?". Even if it's something sort of.. taboo I guess? Because you get to take it apart in a fictional dimension (if that makes sense). And I completely understand if this is something that can ick some people out or that someone doesn't want to ruin their perception of the characters' relationship. That's totally fine by me and I'm not going to force anyone into liking the ship of course. And there are definitely tropes and tags I really don't want to look into - not everything is for me either.

And I think this goes without saying but I'll add it here anyways: what I like to see in fiction doesn't mean I would like or encourage anyone to do the same thing in real life! It's just interesting to explore from a safe distance where no one can get hurt.

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

https://www.tumblr.com/bebeiaarts/673335597863256064/my-headcanon

Went ahead and read this post. And laughed a little, ngl.

It's basically a defense post for shipping Sonic with human girls, and a hate post towards Sonamy/Sonally shippers. Called 'em all "fanbrats." Immediate generalization, assuming all of us are the same.

I'm a Sonamy shipper, not Sonally. Why I don't ship Sonally? All I've seen of Sally -- while she's generally a good person -- she's very controlling, especially of Sonic himself. She doesn't like Sonic for who he is; she's constantly trying to make him more serious and their personalities clash an awful lot. But does that mean I hate on and judge Sonally shippers? No. It's just a ship with fictional characters, peeps. Lighten up. I don't get triggered if I see others making art for them and stuff. I just move on because it's not for me.

Ah, yeah, Amy's worse qualities HAVEN'T disappeared? Sorry, could someone remind me of a time during the IDW comics, during Frontiers, during MOSTH, when Amy was making Sonic uncomfortable with stalker-esque behavior? Right. There wasn't any. It's a little something called character development and maturity. Happens as one grows older.

And this isn't the first time I've seen people complain that they're turning Amy into Sally 2.0. Actually, they're not. Amy Rose has a heart for people that Sally never did. In IDW, Amy took over the Resistance and changed it into the Restoration because Knuckles disbanded it on a whim, and she couldn't bear to see so many people displaced and in trouble. Because she's got that heart and LOVE for people. That passion.

Amy loves Sonic exactly for who he is. (I've talked a little about this before but will gladly elaborate for those who refuse to see.) She outright said to him, "I can't change you. I don't want to change you."

She loves that he's an adventurer. She loves that he has a heart for people like she does as well. She loves everything about him -- through anything.

Another person claimed they didn't ship Sonamy because "Amy only loves the hero facade Sonic puts on." Sorry, remember that episode in Sonic X where it showed Amy was well aware of Sonic's dislike/fear of water, and instead of getting angry or disappointed with him, she made him a good luck charm bracelet to make him feel better? Or that time when she scolded Knuckles for making fun of said fear? Or when he was badly electrocuted to the point of unconsciousness and she stepped up to take care of him? Or when she dove into a giant mass of water after him, knowing she might not be able to save him but not wanting him to be alone? I could go on and on.

That love of hers, that passion, is also for people in general (he's just #1 in her heart, according to Sega). In Frontiers, she showed concern for him when he appeared to be struggling. She shared her desires to share her love with the world, even if it meant taking them apart, and he encouraged her to do so, adding that he wanted to hear all about it when she got back.

Pardon us for feeling like Sonamy is more canon after Frontiers. I'd like to see YOU come up with a platonic explanation for "Wish we were sharing an umbrella, Amy," and "Amy, I should've made up my mind sooner."

Also, it's pretty unlikely Amy is still 12. They stopped confirming their ages years ago. With how much has been happening, I wouldn't be surprised if they're all aged up several years.

"Thinking we know better than Sega themselves." Bruh, "Sega themselves" have confirmed time and time again that Sonic has feelings for Amy. The only reason (besides the mandates lol) he hasn't confessed to her is because

Sonic isn't good at dealing with feelings

Sonic isn't ready for a relationship at this point in his life/doesn't need one

Sonic loves Amy, and Amy loves Sonic. But they're both aware that Sonic doesn't want a relationship for the time being, so they're fine being friends.

Pardon the rant, lol. And jsyk, this isn't necessarily a persuasive speech. If this convinced you to ship Sonamy, cool! If it didn't, I don't care. Again, these are just ships with fictional characters. I have fun with them. I don't get outraged if people don't ship what I do. If you don't like it, move past this post and keep scrolling. See if I care. 😂

[angelofchaos001]

Another Outer Wilds OC

Some spoilers for the base game and DLC, you all know how this one goes. My brain churns up ideas and this is how I end up with so many OC's. Sorry if the community isn't super big on this thing but OC's are how I express my love and joy for a fandom.

Mini rambling out of the way, here's everything you need to know about Quartz!

Quartz is an older Hearthian, only a few years younger than some of the OWV founders. Despite not being involved with the founding of the program, they were around for it's conception and creation, and supported it wholly.

They are the village healer, and use a variety of herbs and natural remedies along with the technology they have available. They have gotten particularly good at treating broken bones and burns. Quartz has extensive notes on the herbs they use with exact uses, location, growing/drying, and side effects. They keep these notes in a sturdy (but soft and well-worn) journal.

When Quartz was a hatchling, they never had the thought of pursuing a medicinal career. They actually wanted to be an explorer or engineer like many of their (slightly older) peers. What made them change their mind? You can blame Feldspar (typical). They got themselves hurt and scared Quartz out of exploring. Instead, Quartz liked seeing how the treatment the village gave their friend made them feel much better and at ease, and they liked that idea of helping others out.

So Quartz began to study. And experiment. And try and fail with all sorts of random plants they found. (Yep. They knew one plant could be used to make bandages, so they started testing what other plants could do.) Despite the wild ideas, Quartz never strayed too far from the beaten path and never tried anything new on themselves (it was always on their more ambitious and fearless peers). As they got older and their friends began doing crazy things such as building ships to explore space, Quartz was very glad to not be part of that.

They continued to spend their time honing their craft, and as the space program started to take hold, they found themselves treating a lot of burns, broken bones, and bruises. Once they had successfully figured out how to explore space, though, Quartz was thrilled for their friends and any new recruits. After some of the test flights and such, though, Quartz is the one who insisted that the explorers carry basic medical treatment on them.

In terms of where they'd be/what they'd do in the game, all they would really be there for is that they tell the hatchling that (if it's not already clear) there should be plenty of medical supplies waiting in the ship - And mention that they just restocked it for this launch. They can also treat any wounds hatchling has at the request to do so, but obviously this is pretty niche. Quartz has their own little medical tent and also willingly rags on the likes of Feldspar and Slate for their reckless behavior.

Now: Here's some funny dialogue prompts and some snippets of their notebook! (Which would 100% be a thing you can read. It's just flavor and has no gameplay relevance)

-

[First Interaction]

Mmm? Certainly wasn't expecting to see you so close to your big day, hatchling. Feeling sick about it or such? Nerves can do that to you, I know. If you need to lie down for a moment, I'll always be here. Not like I want to leave, anyway.

[Second Interaction]

My tent will always be a safe place for any hearthian passing through. That includes you, too, hatchling, so don't feel like you have to tough it out for me. In fact, that's probably the one thing you can do that'll make me upset.

>I promise I won't become the next Feldspar to you.

Uh, yeah, please don't do that. They ended up in my tent pretty much daily because of how reckless they were. I'm amazed they survived as long in space as they did . . .

Sorry, I shouldn't be muddying their name like that. They were a good friend. But just this one time, I'm begging, don't be like Feldspar.

[Follow-Up]

Don't be shy to take a breather before you go. Stress isn't good for your mind or your body. If you need any kind of first aid, just say the word and I'll give it.

>I feel fine, I promise.

>Now that you mention it . . .

Heh. I know they made the right choice when they let you become an explorer. By the way, in case you forgot, there's medical supplies on your ship as well. Enforced by yours truly. You can always top off and patch up any wounds you've got there. Anyhow, I've kept you for long enough. Go get out there and chase those stars!

-----

>Now that you mention it . . .

Just looking at you I can tell you needed some. Come on, sit down and let ol' Quartz patch you up.

~Fade out and fade in~

There, all better. Don't go running off and getting yourself hurt too badly, though. There are some wounds not even I can heal. By the way, in case you forgot, there's medical supplies on your ship as well. Enforced by yours truly. You can always top off and patch up any wounds you've got there. Anyhow, I've kept you for long enough. Go get out there and chase those stars!

And some of their field notes! (The plants mentioned are made-up, but based on actual herbs.)

[Page 1]

Herb: Sunset Cup

Parts of plant used: Roots; Leaves

Used for: Soothing open wounds, Soothing disturbed or torn skin, Relieving sore muscles and/or joints; Notably useful in calming skin irritated from broken bones.

Side effects: Lightheadedness, Mildly hallucinogenic.

Description: A smaller, low-growing plant with long, broad leaves that feel fuzzy to touch. Blooms with large, pink and purple flowers in clusters that have a distinctive cup or bell shape to them.

Where to find: Grows near the geysers; Rare to find on Timber Hearth.

Grown domestically: No

Feldspar reported that it made them feel lightheaded and they're pretty sure they saw me turn green. A few hours after the plant had been applied, they were fine - Though plenty embarrassed.

Gabbro commented they may have found more Sunset Cups growing on Giant's Deep. A quick image sent back to Hornfels confirmed this, meaning the plant is likely native to there - Given how abundantly it was growing.

[Page 2 is a drawing of the previous herb with a specific diagram that I can't do because plants are hard.]

[Page 3]

Herb: White Clearpetal

Parts of plant used: Leaves; Flower

Used for: Lowering high temperatures, Assisting with coughs, Clearing a stuffed throat and/or nose, Eases breathing.

Side Effects: Bitter and hard to eat, Overapplication worsens breathing complications, Chills, Tiredness

Description: A tall plant with few leaves and a thin stem that grows clusters of flowers. The flowers are large and almost see-through, save for an interesting milkiness to the petals. The center is a solid golden orb covered in small dark seeds.

Where to find: Look around the grove and it grows everywhere; Easy to find and plentiful year after year.

Grown domestically: No

When I tested this, it was when Esker was sick one time. I doubt they would have survived without the petals to clear up their throat. I still feel so thankful I found the clearpetals.

Note to self: Do not overfeed the leaves or petals. I'm 95% sure Feldspar just stopped breathing for a minute after they ate an entire stem. Also, they went unconscious.

[Page 5]

Herb: Angler's Bush

Parts of plant used: Roots, Leaves

Used for: Clotting wounds, Stimulating the body

Side effects: Can cause infection if not dried properly, Hyperness, Acting aware and on edge, Can induce mania if overeaten.

Description: Low-growing plant with dozens of leaves clustered together, almost like a small bush. Flowers rarely, but the flowers are distinctive for their resemblance in color and shape to a young anglerfish.

Where to find: Feldspar claims to have found it on Brittle Hollow's surface. Riebeck cannot currently locate the plant, however.

Grown domestically: Yes

Note: DO NOT EAT THE FLOWERS. Also, remind Slate more thoroughly that not every herb I have is edible.

One of my few plants from off Timber Hearth. I'm very glad I've still managed to grow it here, in it's own little boxed-off area. Despite most of it being extremely helpful, the flowers seem to have the opposite effect, reducing the ability to clot and stop blood flow.

Slate is lucky the rest of this plant can do that for them.

Someone has been cutting off the flowers and stealing them from me. From now on, trim flowering Angler Bushes and store the seeds away safely.

Just some lil things. And no, none of this should be taken as actual medical accuracy and it's not meant to exactly make sense. I'm having fun with a fantasy world about time loops and alien races.

[the-little-moment]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 17

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 59,681. The total number of words in my gdocs is so much higher. 😬

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Wars The Clone Wars and Star Wars The Bad Batch. I've got some Republic Commando thoughts swirling around too.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Little One When everything becomes too much, Cadet Hunter, his brothers, and their favorite doctor help Tech through a meltdown. 2. Only What Burns You Back In "Not Just the Carcass, but the Spark", Chief Medical Officer Dr. Senna Divehdi escapes the Empire, and a mind-controlled Crosshair, to join the rest of the Bad Batch in their search for freedom. In this story, however, she chooses to stay with Crosshair, and that choice changes everything. 3. The Quiet Part An injury brings Crosshair back to Kamino, where he says more than he means to. This is pre Order 66. 4. Not Just the Carcass, but the Spark Dr. Senna Divehdi has known the four original members of Clone Force 99 since they were children. When they rescue an ARC Trooper called Echo from the Techno Union, Senna assists in his recovery in the hospital on Kamino and is delighted when he chooses to join the Bad Batch. The end of the war finally comes, but with it, none of the peace they had expected. 5. A Small Visit A Cadet Tech fic. Four years after she was first hired as part of the Republic's secret cloning project on Kamino, Dr. Senna Divehdi is surprised by a late night visit.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yep! I love comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably my one shot Broken Promises about Crosshair, although honorable mentions go to Twisted Smoke and A Tender Memorial.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of my long fics are still in progress, but The Heart Grows Fonder and The Quiet Part are sweet one shots with happy endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Funnily, only from people who haven't actually read them.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not really. Some of my in progress fics will eventually get to sex, but I've never written smut for its own sake.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I wrote Twisted Smoke as a follow up to a one shot I loved called Flame Snuffed Out by the lovely @kybercrystals94.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Of canon characters? Probably Fox/Riyo.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I really plan to finish them all!

16. What are your writing strengths? Angsty internal monologue. Descriptive language.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Coming up with things that I really wish I'd thought to put in a story earlier. Action 😭.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm only fluent in English so that doesn't seem like a good idea. If I ever did, I'd put the appropriate research in.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Bad Batch.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Only What Burns You Back. It's what made me fall in love with Crosshair. I also cherish A Small Visit and Little One because thinking about tiny cadet Tech was what first inspired me to write fanfiction. 💕

Tagging @kybercrystals94, @just-here-with-my-thoughts, @aggy72, @freesia-writes

@clonethirstingisreal I know you've only got the one so far, but I think you could still answer a bunch of these if you'd like!