#grub engine

[mwolf0epsilon]

Henry grub, newly born.

— ☕️ Ko-fi | 🧡Commissions

[fieriframes]

[Yeah. Sometimes it has a little rod knock in the morning when it's cold. Rod knock. That's an engine term.]

[birchbow]

i really like everything you've done with the concept of troll gender in pof, but i was wondering if you've given thought to why/how they developed the concept of gender as a not really sexually dimorphic species? and who exactly assigns them genders as wrigglers? like are they getting the concept from the lusii? also i was wondering how they can tell each other's genders without asking directly. i know the clowns indicate that with their paint usually, but what about everyone else? i would love to hear any thoughts you have about this!

Okay so. This is only somewhat represented in the actual fic, mostly because I started writing it more than a decade ago when I was a little weenie with no gender imagination, but the grand scope of the xeno loadout I'm contemplating is thus:

in the same way that Lord of the Rings was theoretically a localized+translated legend from another language. PoF is a translation of a troll society that is in some ways localized by its translator (me lol).

THIS IS TO SAY: gender isn't gender. Pronouns are a self-declaration of "the role I take in my use to the Great Hive of The Empire". Trolls we translate as "male" and "female" are just roles of Use To The Hive that a human translator maps to "he" and "she".

If the mother grub, the drones and the trolls are all the same species, I find it delightful to imagine that insofar as trolls have a physical sex, it's BEING "trolls"; "troll"="the farmed ones/caretakers/(trollspecies) servant class" who provide and care for the mother grub.

Some of said class focus more into social violence not intended to kill+loud and posturing to drive away enemies+big emotions for Care About Hive. Because humans are, to quote troll xenonecroscholars, "obsessed with assigning mammal genital configurations to things", humans have dictated these trolls are "men". Some trolls focus more energy into stronger psionics+no patience for posturing/straight for the kill+hone and reinforce the inner strata of the hive. Humans refer to these individuals as "women".

I'll be shorthanding these roles as "masc" and "femme" because I use way too many words already, but just know that's an oversimplification haha.

FIG 1: Karkat by this standard? Very masc, but his insistence that he wants to be the leader/in charge is idiosyncratically femme of him. *cishet bioessentialism voice* Football player repeatedly goes out for ballet.

FIG 2: let's be clear Karkat telling Tavros to "stop playing games for girls" after he got jumped off a cliff was Karkat/Homestuck being classic 2010s shitty. But it doubles in this as "you decided to play with the Scourge Sisters (Deadly High Femme), you moron, you're lucky you're not dead".

how people figure out which one they initially go by... tbh it seems like schooling is pretty much via computers. I feel like you could easily just get like. A module on reproduction, and then a module that's essentially a fucking. quizilla quiz. Assigned pronouns at government-required school module.

Recent chapters have started making characters 'they/them' until the POV character gets a hint what their preference is--in this theoretical setup there would be quite a lot of sussing it out. "Gender presentation" would be a loose constellation of traits with a lot less certainty! The webcomic was not made with this in mind but I do find it fun to willfully reframe the pretty generically human-gendered characters we get.

FOR EXAMPLE!! Long/big hair as a peacocking flair/brag, often by old or powerful classes, or people who are powerful enough psionics they don't have to give a shit about a very grabbable liability in a fight. Trolls whose vocational pronouns translate as "female" often specialize in straightforward impersonal murder and social engineering more than brawling, so longer hair wouldn't be a liability and therefore is correlated, but only loosely.

Feferi has long hair, but so does the Grand Highblood. Equius (reads quite masc to humans) has long hair (nobility fle%), but Kanaya (the most overtly human femme) does not (practical middle-class brawler)! I don't think that's on purpose but I AM taking advantage of it lol.

'They/them' is the equivalent of the "joker" title I made up already for Clown Church--somebody with multiple skillsets, mixed roles, or fields of influence. My gender is undeclared college major. My gender is Jack Of All Trades.

Verato's transness isn't really about his switch from one gender to another--it's more because he plays a "femme" role in society but uses the "masc" pronoun for himself. His self-consciousness about it is more similar to a nonbinary or bisexual human who's used to being told to "pick one" and being told which one they "seem like" or "should be".

Meanwhile the Behemoth's 'it/its' in English stands out as a pronoun usually used for objects, but in Alternian it would be the pronoun trolls use to refer to DRONES. "(Trollspecies) made for thoughtless violence/enforcer/culls the weak". Chilling!!

I would have to go through and edit huge chunks of the fic to drag all half a million words into line with fun xeno shit alongside the clown church worldbuilding I already got in there, but damn if the concept isn't tempting some days.

[princeseerow]

ummm haha... er... this is my andalite oc! her name is yimsua and she is very fond of humans. maybe a little TOO fond...

some things about her & the setting in general under the readmore:

it's about 2006-ish, and andalites and humans have a decent relationship with each other. they aren't besties, but they are political allies.

yimsua-talus-lowstar is the spoiled daughter of a high ranking member of the electorate, and she uses her family's status as a means of sort of coasting through life since she can always pull the "well don't you know who my FATHER is???" card. before deciding she wanted to be a cultural anthropologist, her previous short-lived career aspirations included molecular biologist, weapons designer, weapons engineer, and military archivist

like most andalites, yimsua first learned about humans in school. as a child, they were just another species that existed in their universe that interested her very little. when she was a pre-teen, a handful of humans who called themselves "animorphs" ended the yeerk invasion on their own planet. she didn't take a personal interest in them until 2004-ish when she accompanied her father on a diplomatic conference to california to meet with surviving animorph casssie and other important leaders of earth.

since then, she has been absolutely enamored with human culture. in particular, american teenage mall rat culture, since that tends to be who she's had the most interactions with. she thinks they're the cutest things ever, even cuter than taxxon grubs.

she goes through a LOT of nail polish on her hooves and tailblade. it's very reminiscent of an old andalite war tradition that fell out of favor and she's hoping to become a trendsetter back home.

[fordford]

i want to write something nice and meaningful about fiddleford not hating gubby but i have to pack so this is all i have in me

transcript/screenreader version below cut because it's kind of long

image ID: a screenshot of a text file i wrote of a quarter-assed fanfiction about fiddleford and the shapeshifter. many words are misspelled and there are countless grammatical and punctuation errors. end image ID.

screenreader-friendly image transcript:

once upon a time fiddleford was hanging out in the bunker. bunkers are man-made underground spaces so you would think it would be really cold because places that are underground are usually cold. well you would be right but fiddleford was really hot today in the bunker because he was working so hard and sexily. he was sticking out his nonexistent ass as his head was buried in some machine thing i don't know engineering.

suddenly ford came up behind him. "hello" said ford.

"agh" said fiddleford and he was startled and banged his head against the machine and got a huge concussion and lost consciousness for a couple hours. but when he came to ford was still waiting there patiently so they continued their conversation. "what's up."

"look at this thing i found" said ford and he held up a pile of slime.

"that's disgusting waht is that. is that like a dead jellyfish" asked fiddleford. just then the slime moved! and took the shape of the wrench that fiddleford was holding (i forgot to mention he was holding a wrench but trust me it was there the whole time).

"what the hell is that." said fiddleford.

"it's a shapeshifter ❤️" said ford and he held the wrench up to his his lips and kissed it tenderly. for a split second fiddleford felt a little bit jealous of a wrench but stopped feeling that way because it was stupid. "i am going to raise it as my son" finished ford.

fiddleford watched as the wrench changed back into a grub thing and it jumped onto his head and started sucking on his open head wound. "idk it's kind of ugly" he said.

ford frowned. "fiddleford... i thought you of all people would be more accepting of guys who are a little bit different..." he said gayly.

fiddleford felt bad he didn't want to make ford feel isolated. and the grub was actually making his open head wound feel better or maybe he was just getting numb to the pain from blood loss. "well okay 🙂" said fiddleford and then they raised shifty as their child and lived happily ever after. the end. end transcript.

[thewertsearch]

Familial Determinism

Or: let's make wild, uninformed guesses about the troll Ancestors, based solely on the lives of their descendants!

As a bearer of the lowest blood on the hemospectrum, Aradia’s ancestor was probably as poor as she is. She may have been an archeologist like her descendant, assuming the field existed in her era, but I'm much more interested in her potential necromancy.

On the instruction of your ANCESTORS, you have recovered MYSTERIOUS TECHNOLOGY from the ruins, and convinced a friend to adapt it into a GAME THAT WILL BRING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR CIVILIZATION.

See, due to her bloodline, Granny Megido is the most likely ancestor to be behind the Voices. She's the only one who can claim a direct relationship to Aradia, and I think she was probably still around in the modern era - as a ghost, of course - guiding her young protege, as she worked to trigger the apocalypse.

What's your story, Granny Meg? How did a lowblood medium discover the secrets of Sgrub, centuries before it arrived? How much did you know back then - and how much influence do you still have, even now?

If Alternia's past is anything like its present - and it certainly seems to be - then I can't see Tavros's ancestor surviving there for long. If he survived to adulthood, then it was probably as a peaceful nomad, or perhaps some sort of ranger.

Either way, I don't think he'd involve himself with other trolls, instead preferring to spend time with his planet's wildlife. Basically, I'm picturing Snow White with a mohawk.

Sollux’s ancestor is undoubtedly still a techhead. I know it's centuries in the past, but this is proto-Sollux we're talking about. He'd invent technology if he had to.

Actually, that might have been his role. He could have been one of Alternia's first engineers, leveraging his Sgrub foreknowledge to contribute to Alternia's technological advancement.

Congratulations, Sollux Senior - you helped turn a nation of pirates into a space empire.

Karkat's an interesting one. In a more primitive society - ie, one without Imperial Drones - it might have been easier for him to hide his blood color.

...actually, he might not even have Karkat's blood color. It's possible that Karkat's candy red mutation is unique to him, and the other Vantas has yellow-green blood, like his Trollian position implies he should. That would result in an ancestor with a very different social position to Karkat, and the two could be substantially different as a result.

Nepeta’s current lifestyle would translate perfectly to a primitive Alternia. Her ancestor could easily still live in a cave – and since shipping is probably her calling, too, I'm picturing her as an accomplished matchmaker.

Kanaya’s situation is rather unique. Jadebloods are rare, and inextricably linked to the Mother Grub, so her ancestor has some of the strongest ties to her counterpart.

We're actually aware of an ancient Mother Grub, who may have been alive in the time of the ancestors - which hints at a relationship between Kanaya's ancestor and the next troll on our list.

That would be Terezi's ancestor, whose symbol adorns the Doomsday Scale. This device was probably a collaboration between the Pyrope and Maryam ancestors. Its purpose is unknown, but the Gate symbol is proof that someone had Sgrub foreknowledge. Curious.

Anyway, aside from this side hustle, Pyrope was probably a legislacerator. I wonder if the Alternian legal system was as broken then as it is now?

Equius... well, I don't really know, actually. He certainly feels like the kind of guy who’d model himself off his ancestor, so he was probably a pro-hemospectrum horse enthusiast.

Gamzee’s ancestor could have gone one of two ways. If Sopor Slime existed back in early Alternia, he might have been as docile as his descendant used to be. If it didn’t, he was probably the exact kind of bloodthirsty monster that Gamzee is currently regressing into.

I know which option I'm putting my money on, and it's the one that would make Gamzee proud of his 'Subjugglator' ancestors. Can you guess which?

Eridan’s ancestor is the Orphaner, which makes me think he has a similar role as a slayer of lusi. My best guess is that he killed the custodians of adult trolls.

Feferi is an odd case, because her ancestor would probably be an extremely famous historical empress. Fuchsia blood is so rare that Feferi is literally the only modern troll who has it, so I wouldn't be surprised if her ancestor was revered in her time.

What did you do to Alternia, Pexies? Did you help make it what it is, or - like your descendant - did you try to make it better?

[were-all-idjits-here]

Accidental "I Love You"

Pairing: Sam Winchester x gender neutral reader Summary: While enlisting Sam's help to prank Dean, you may or may not blurt something out in the moment that seems to strike an unexpected chord with Sam. Warnings: some cussing; teeny, tiny bit of angst in that Sam and reader are two idiots who don't realize the other is in love with them. A/N: dipping my toe back into writing after some time off with this one. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

*

“What the hell, Dean?” Sam growled as the three of you returned to the motel room. He gestured for you to enter in front of him before slamming the door behind him and holding his hands out in a what the fuck gesture.

“Yeah, seriously,” you grumbled, taking your backpack—now full of loose Skittles thanks to the elder Winchester—towards one of the two beds in the room. “I don’t even like Skittles.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Dean said, just as irritated. “Look, I thought it was Sam’s backpack. It’s not my fault you two have the same one!”

You set your backpack down on Dean’s bed. “Mine’s blue!”

“Navy blue!” Dean corrected. “Sam’s is black, it looks…almost…the same.”

“No, it doesn’t!” you and Sam cry in unison. Although you were no stranger to watching the brothers’ prank war, they’d never targeted you. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t really a big deal; it wasn’t as if it was hot enough to melt the candy and create a sticky mess. But after that particular hunt, you just weren’t in the mood and appreciated Sam’s rage on your behalf.

Dean sighed. “Well, Y/N—I’m sorry. I was aiming for Sam and promise I’ll be more careful next time.”

You flopped down on the bed you and Sam had claimed. “Least you could do is buy us some grub.”

“If I go to that sandwich shop in town and get you a five-cheese grilled cheese, am I forgiven?”

“Only if you get the artichoke dip with it.”

“You got it. Sammy, I’ll get you…something much more boring, don’t worry.” With that, he fled from the room.

You sighed as the Impala’s engine growled to life outside, exchanging annoyed, drained glances with Sam as he sat down at the small, round table in the corner.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. “I can help you clean your bag out—”

“Nah.”  You stood and took the offending object from Dean’s bed. “Now that he’s gone, I’ve got a better idea.”  You ripped back the comforter (if it could be called that) off the bed before shoving back the top and fitted sheet, unzipping your backpack and upending it onto the mattress.

Sam laughed so hard, he scared you. You glanced over at him, smiling mischievously as you used your hands to spread the candy out more evenly.

“Well, here, at least get it across the whole bed in case he rolls.” Sam shot up out of his chair and tore the rest of the blankets and sheets off the mattress, helping you pour more Skittles until a fair amount covered the whole mattress.

You groaned as the two of you put the fitted sheet back on carefully over the minefield that was now Dean’s bed. “Oh god, the poor cleaning lady.”

Sam chuckled. “We’ve left behind worse messes, believe me—oh, actually…”

As you finished re-making the bed, Sam ran over to his backpack on the table and pulled out a whoopie cushion. He gave you a wicked grin as he grabbed the pillow off the side Dean usually slept on, stuffing it into the bottom of the case.

You cackled. “That’ll be right in his ear! He’s gonna go deaf!”

“Exactly.” Sam gave you a big, toothy grin and you couldn’t help but stare. He had such a nice smile that was so rarely on display, and you took pride in being one of the few to draw it out of him.

He stared back for a long moment before clearing his throat and putting his hands in his pockets. “You know this is gonna initiate you into the prank war now though, right? Dean won’t hold back.”

“Oh, I look forward to it.” You held out your hand across the bed. “We could be allies though and not tell Dean, really mess with his head. Truce?”

Sam smiled and shook your hand. “Truce.” He glanced back down at the bed. “You don’t happen to have any glue, do you?”

“Oh god, for what?”

He shrugged. “Could glue some Skittles to his stuff.” He joined you on your side of the bed to riffle through his duffle bag on the floor behind you. “Oh! I might have some superglue left from forever ago.”

“Do I even wanna know what you used that for?”

He pulled his bag up onto your shared bed and sat as he riffled through it. “We had a bit of a prank war a while back and I, uh…might’ve put super glue all over his beer bottle in a restaurant so he couldn’t put it back down.”

You threw your head back and laughed, giving Sam a playful shove to the shoulder. “Oh god, I love you.”

Sam’s head suddenly snapped up, the smile half-frozen on his face as he stared at you with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He gave you a breathy laugh before quickly returning his attention to his bag. “Uh…yeah, I—um…”

Your face fell. “Sam?”

“I’m okay,” he said a little too quickly before pulling a small tube out of one of his bag’s front pockets. “Ah, damn, it’s empty.”

Awkwardness still hung thick in the air, making you wonder if your joking I love you had revealed too much about how you actually felt. You suddenly felt a little dizzy at the thought of having just given yourself away only to have your and Sam’s friendship slowly start to crumble in the face of inevitable rejection. You two had always been close and even though the stares had been a little longer lately, if he felt the same about you, you would’ve known by now…right? And surely he wouldn’t have had that reaction just now.

You tried to hide the shakiness of your breath. “We’ll, uh…have to make sure we get more next time we’re at the store then.”

“Yeah.” He glanced at you nervously before giving you a quick smile that disappeared in a hurry.

You hovered by him awkwardly for a few moments, trying to glance at him without catching his eye while he was suddenly very interested in the depths of his bag, empty superglue tube in hand.

“I’ll just—” he started.

“I’m gonna—”  you tried, beginning to move out of the aisle between beds towards the bathroom just as he stood up, bumping straight into you. With his speed and bulk, however, he almost knocked you over and quickly grabbed your forearms to stop you from tumbling back into the nightstand.

“Sorry!” he cried, finally meeting your gaze.

You had grabbed some of his shirt in your fists on instinct and for a moment, you stood transfixed again. Up close, his eyes really were pretty—they were so versatile: some days, they were a deep, dark brown that reminded you of chocolate and looked so warm and inviting, you wanted to just sink into him. Others, like today, flecks of green popped out in just the right lighting, reminding you of a sunflower field. You didn’t realize he was staring back at you with just as much intensity until his thumbs began rubbing gentle circles into your forearms.

You shook your head slightly to clear it. “I’m, ahem, gonna use the bathroom while it’s free.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course! I—yeah!” He quickly let you go, stepping out of your way and gesturing for you to move first.

You quickly yanked a change of clothes out of your now clean bag before hurrying to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door and whatever had just happened away behind you.

Later that night, after you and Sam had already settled in bed, Dean finally emerged from the bathroom. Being on the side closest to his bed, you turned away to face Sam to hide your smile. You found him with his eyes open as well, biting his lip to avoid laughing.

Dean made a contented sigh as you heard the covers thrown back, followed by several cracking and popping noises, then the loud flbbbpppppttttt of the whoopie cushion. “Son of a bitch! Oh, god, ow—fuck—what the hell!”

You covered your mouth with your hand in a vain attempt to hide your laughs, seeing Sam do the same out of the corner of your eye.

“I know you two assholes are awake,” Dean grumbled before climbing back out of bed and checking under the fitted sheet. “Oh, this is war, Y/N.”

“Enjoy your Skittle bed, dickhead,” you said over your shoulder, pulling a loud guffaw from Sam.

“I’m sleeping on the damn couch,” Dean muttered before you heard him move across the room.

You closed your eyes, smiling to yourself, and tried to focus on evening out your breathing. After several minutes, right before you crossed the threshold of sleep, you could’ve sworn you felt warm fingers brushing your cheek.

[davekat-sucks]

I couldn’t resist this thing we’re doing with Homestuck characters with Youtube channels so here we go.

Beta trolls first/

Aradia: 100% she’s a spelunker who’s video content is exploring abandoned urban areas and cave systems. She even has on hand dusting tools and a pickaxe to look for exposed fossils. Her uploads coincide within a day of a person dissapearing or the report of a murder.

Tavros: he’s Alternia’s biggest Pokétuber, or I guess in this sense, a Fidutuber. He likes to discuss the meta for competitive and lore about the fiduspawn series. He also dabbles in fantasy RPGs, especially if there is a girl with magical powers or a protagonist whisked away to a fantastical realm, tying back to his Pupa Pan obsession. What’s cool about Tavros’s playthroughs for his RPG games is they’re narrated and voice acted by his friends! He has Nepeta and Aradia do some of the female cast voice acting, as well as Gamzee and Karkat for male voice acting!

Sollux: twitch streaming speedrunner, very popular in the speedrunning community for his TAS tech and glitch hunting prowess. His uploading schedule is very infrequent due to his struggle with sensing the imminently deceased.

Karkat: 100% a movie reviewer like that of the Nostalgia critic, his review gimmick is he trues to violently destroy movies he considers “COMPLETE SHIT FESTIVITIES” by using threshecutioner style combat on the DVD boxes, or if the movie was digitally downloaded, corrupt it with one of his broken, shitty viruses.

Nepeta: survivalist vlogger who gives tips on living in a cave, animal hunting, preparing meals from the meats of different wild animals, and how to keep contact with the civilized world. Notably Nepeta has collaborated with Aradia to guide her through particularly hard to navigate caves.

Kanaya: fashion and aesthetics channel. She is a lifestyle blogger dedicated to showing you how everything can be shaped colored and placed to fit your personality. She’s got playlists for landscaping and gardening, fashion, and hell even how to make the food on your plate look appetizing!

Terezi: skit and parodies channel. Her on hand plushes make her a plush skit channel similar to SuperMarioLogan, and she loves to invite her friends to cast as different pyralsprites, action figures, paper drawings and even an occasional animal carcass for her new episodes. When her plushes are worn out, Terezi instead uses GMod and editing software to make her secondary skit show, think SMG4 but now the characters type in leetspeak and reference bugs and grubs a lot. For using copyrighted characters she has been sued many times and won every case. She uploads legal advice to a secondary channel on how to avoid getting copyright claimed and how to win in court.

Vriska: e-thot and competitive gamer. She plays a lot of ranked team games like Overwatch, Marvel Rivals, Fortnite, and even Team Fortress 2! She’s toxic, and has been known to call out and swear at her teammates and opponents, has doxxed her own moderators for her chat, and once sent Tavros a virus to his computer for wiping the floor with her at FiduFLARP, a modded game of FLARP that adds in fiduspawn monsters as catchable enemies. How she’s not banned is a sinple reason: she always streams with a crop top that’s worn low.

Equius: hybrid channel for electrical engineering and combat training. He’s like electroboom in that he gets shocked quite a lot, but different in that he could build a Boston dynamic robot in less than an hour. He has tutorials on constructing the control systems of military aircraft! His combat videos focus on a lot of boxing and hand-to-hand techniques, and especially how to concentrate the force of your blow. When he does demonstrations for weapon combat, he invites Karkat and Tavros over for battle strategies for Threshecutioners and Cavalreapers.

Gamzee: naturalist and spiritual healing channel. He streams often for calls with chat members asking for their ailments and providing healing advice or even trying a through-the-screen hypnosis method to cure chat members. He’s a fraud, but people love his calm demeanor and positive attitude so much people go to him for vibes, and his “cures” work often enough that some people even believe he has healing magic.

Eridan: strategy games and naitical technology. World of Warships no. 1 advertising advocate. He also dabbles in human games like Hearts of Iron IV and Sid Mires’s Civilization series. He thinks they’re actually really really easy games. When he reviews ships he likes to go to museums to review and describe war ships and how effective they were at sea. Sometimes he can even swim to shipwrecks if he feels like it, which is… rarely.

Feferi: Vlogger for ocean diving and nature documentation. Her positive attitude and natural optimism towards the unknown makes her view even the most ugly and aggressive deep sea life seem cute and misunderstood. Surprisingly her favorite sea life is the shark! When Eridan needs to explore a shipwreck, he uses Feferi as a guide to get him safely diving down to the wreckage, and so he doesn’t feel alone in the dark waters. Deep sea diving actually burns a LOT of calories, especially with how long her videos can get (2-4 hours) so on the side she does shorter Mukbang videos! Commenters are in awe that she’s so skinny despite eating half her weight in food every time she does a Mukbang.

Beta kids/

John: illusions and pranks channel, loves to live record strangers falling for his obvious trucks and deceits. Don’t worry it’s all for fun and no one gets hurt :) His magic even extends to cool programs you can do on your computer to make your desktop do something cool, or customize your pointer (yeah to this day he’s still an amateur at coding) when Karkat is reviewing bad movies, John is usually invited for skits where he’s the stand in for a stawman of the movie’s fandom explaining why the movie is actually good.

Rose: she’s like those atheist skeptic channels but instead of just debunking God and flat earth theory she also uses her magic to prove and convince her subscribers the horrorterrors are the only real cosmic entities who exist beyond the physical universe. In the case there’s a video going around of something crazy happening that could be a hoax, she invites John over so he can rant and expose the magic tricks the video uses to make it look real.

Dave: shitposter. He posts whatever he feels like whenever he feels like. Tony Hawk combo score, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comic dubs, Smosh skits with John, and a lot of Youtube Poops. He’s less a poster and more an editor. He’s done video editing for a bunch of other Youtubers, like Karkat, Kanaya, Sollux, Terezi, John, and Rose. He has a lot of time on his hands and he uses it for the best editing gags and cutoffs you could imagine. Like Caddicarus but even funnier.

Jade: she’s a mystery. You’ll see her everywhere and yet her main channel has less than 10k subscribers. She has made a cameo on EVERY character I’ve described so far. She’s dug up bones for Aradia, competed against Tavros in fiduspawn (and narrates for his RPG playthroughs, voice acting for some female characters too!) she playtests Sollux’s speedrun strats to see of they’re humanly viable, she’s done skits in Karkat’s video where she parodies prominent female characters alongside John, Dave, and Sollux. She is used as a practice combatant for Nepeta to demonstrate fighting various wildlife from foxes to bears. She’s done in depth explanations for various plant life and their living conditions in Kanaya’s horticulture videos, she plays in Terezi’s skits as a character who’s a stereotypical furry, she’s Vriska’s top pick for playing casual multiplayer games like UNO, or Worms, or Smash Bros. Jade was a featured teacher for how to build a homemade Nuclear Reactor with Equius. She was interviewed by Gamzee for her dog ears and her ability to see the future. She demonstrates how to handle various firearms in Eridan’s videos, and has even done 2-person mukbangs with Feferi. So after all that, what does Jade post on her main account? Squiddles character AMVs.

If I’m gonna do the alpha kids and trolls it has to be a separate ask, this is a very long one.

Hot damn! These are all so good!

[bogleech]

i keep wanting to draw anthro maggots but they end up looking like beetle larvae instead- any ideas on how one might stylize a maggot person to make it a little more distinctly A Maggot? it's especially hard to me bc maggots are like THE MOST featureless insect larvae.... which i suppose counts as a defining feature in and of itself- but i dunno. im mostly just curious to hear your approach!!!

Yeah beetle grubs, caterpillars and a lot of other insect larvae have armored heads with complete jaws structures as well as six little legs, plus they often have a defined looking "top" and "bottom" with ridged and wrinkles almost like they got soft armored down their back

But maggots are weird! They streamlined EVERYTHING down to where they have no legs at all, not even vestigial ones, and their body segments almost evolved towards something like radial symmetry by being the same all the way around!

Then there's the fact that they sort of lost most of a "head." Not only is there no exoskeletal cranial case (bug skull) to protect it but there are no jaws and never any eyes; there's just a little hole for drinking liquefied food, a pair of tusk-like hooks for gripping surfaces, and a pair of eye-like knobs that are actually chemosensory (noses)

The weird, tiny walrus-face is totally unique! They don't have any chewing mouthparts because they only need to "drink" the particles of rotting matter they live on, and like adult flies, they help this along by secreting digestive enzymes!

Maggots also have these very distinct, furry looking bands at every segment, which help them grip surfaces like a tire tread or the sole of a shoe. If you compare this photo with the one above you'll also notice how the segments can retract in and out like a telescope!

The last special thing about common maggot anatomy is that they are technically semi-aquatic animals, because maggots evolved to be buried head-first completely in their own food as much as possible and rotten corpses are WET. In order to breathe, maggots have a pair of breathing spiracles on their rear ends, which they try to keep exposed to the air!

There are exceptions to all of this, though; there are species that can be fully aquatic, fully terrestrial, herbivorous, parasitic or predatory, and some ancient fly groups (including mosquitoes!) whose larvae still have fully armored heads and even eyes. Everything above is universal to the maggots you find in rotten stuff though, so what most people think of when they hear the term :) When I designed a hybrid human and blowfly maggot for the Mortasheen setting I deliberately made it look like a doofy cartoon Walrus, and I gave its segments large spines that can be seen in some parasitic maggots, including botflies:

And when I made a maggot character for my webcomic Awful Hospital I designed her like a little spacesuit or a parka (the resemblance to Kenny was an accident)

Actually I don't think I ever shared this most recent "main artwork" of Maggie. I don't know what idea inspiration any of this might provide but basically a maggot is a prickly living sock with fangs. Or I guess from a design and engineering perspective, a maggot is a biological drill. The tiny end starts a hole, the rest of the body is just a flaring cone perfectly equipped to keep making the hole deeper.

[hoshigray]

Hi!! I love your Toji so much you write him so well 🙏🏼 I was wondering if you could write something smutty about motorcyclist toji or like something to do with a car 🙊

Tysm, noonieeeeee~♡ ;w; Not ppl actually liking how I write for this sly bastard!! And oooooo a motorcyclist!?? Lol, never thought I'd write something with this idea, but here we are!! Please enjoy~~~ Also!! Just announced a series that I'll be writing for the summer, so check it out if you're interested!

Cw: Toji x fem!reader - explicit content so minors DNI - oral (f!receiving) - the reader is in college studying for finals - Daddy kink - motorcyclist! Toji - sexual acts in a public space (at a park in the night) - pet names (baby, angel, pumpkin, sweetie) - pussy drunk! Toji - clitoral play (plus light bites to the clit) - fingering - overstimulation - it ends on a cute note bc I'm feeling soft. Wc: 1.7k

The time is 10:45 p.m. when you look up at your laptop. You look around to see the work-study employee come in your direction, and you smile with recognition since you know they're about to tell you it's time to go. They smile back, turn back to where they came from, and you stand up to gather up your things.

It was the beginning of finals week, and it's been downright abysmal. Not only do you have three papers to write (one being a minimum of eight pages), but you also have a group presentation and two in-person exams three hours long each. You and your roommates barely get enough time to hang out, especially when you're practically cooped up in the library all day like today. When library hours are over, you walk to another building where you spend more hours studying and writing. And by the time you get to your dorm, you go straight to sleep and repeat the process.

It doesn't take rocket science to know that you — and everyone on the campus — have absolutely abhorred exams. However, for the sake of your grades, you endure it and do what you can. As long as you have a proper place to study and stop by your campus café for some quick grub, so be it.

But now, you've been studying non-stop without wasting time on distractions. It's time to go; you'll probably call it a night and head for bad. Your productivity finally dwindled down to exhaustion. I'll jump onto Discord to chat with some friends and see what they've been up to. They're probably doing better than what I'm going through...And if he's still awake, I should definitely call—

As you put your bag on your shoulder, the sound of an engine catches your attention. A motorbike engine. At first, you figured it was coming from the main street until it started getting closer. Is someone ordering Doordash or something? Curiosity has you as you walk down the stairs to exit through the entrance, waving goodbye to the receptionist who's also getting ready to leave.

When you enter the chilly outside air, the owner of said noise is parked in front of the entrance, the vehicle stationed for him to lean back and briefly look at his phone before putting it away. They're wearing a dark denim jacket covering a black shirt and some jeans. And a jet-black helmet that shields them with their tinted visor. Their dark appearance fits the dreary, foggy atmosphere, the lampposts only making them visible to the eye.

You freeze for a second when the mysterious person turns to face you, and you offer an awkward smile and nod as a quick greeting before heading your way. But then the person removes their helmet to reveal themselves to you, and your eyes widen.

With slightly messy raven hair and green eyes that capture your figure, the man flashes a grin that pulls his scarred lip upwards. Toji Fushiguro, your boyfriend you haven't seen since Easter break, was here.

"Hey, baby." It feels like forever since you've heard his gruff voice, and it has you smiling hard in seconds.

"Toji!" You run up to him for a hug which is returned, sinking into his strong arms and warm chest while his cologne fills your nostrils. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I could come down here and surprise my lil' angel," he sways you in his arms, relishing having you in his embrace. "I texted you that I was gonna pull up."

You withdraw from the hug and look at him with mild confusion. "You did?" You quickly grab your phone from your pocket and go to your messages, only to see that he, in fact, texted you earlier. Two hours ago. "You did...Sorry, must've left my phone when I was heading out to grab something to eat."

He shrugs and slides his hands down your waist to pull you close again. "How're your exams goin'?"

"Terrible." He chuckles when you give him a faux pout. "I got one paper out the way, but the others...at least I've started on them."

"Mmm, I bet." He responds with a hand on your cheek and your forehead. "Gonna head home to study some more?"

His big warm palm nestles perfectly against your cheek as you lean to his touch. "Nah, I'm too exhausted, and I'm too stressed to think anymore. That's for tomorrow."

Toji hums with a smile. "Well, think y'r too stressed to hang with me for a while? Maybe I can relieve some tension."

You raise a brow at him and his smug grin. "Oh yeah? How're you gonna do that?"

"Hop on so you can find out." The man removes his hands from you to open the trunk of his motorcycle, handing you a helmet — your helmet as it's your favorite color.

You give your boyfriend a look. "This better not be like last time when you took me to some random ramen place where we ate super spicy ramen to the point of boogers running down from my nose."

He laughs. "No, it's not gonna be like that. Now get your cute ass on so we can go, pumpkin."You still study his face, yet don't try to argue while putting on your helmet and take your spot behind him after putting your bag in the trunk.

When he knows you're appropriately sitting in the passenger seat with your arms linked around his waist, he starts the engine and revs the vehicle before moving. The two of you drive away from the school premise. You can only wonder where the man is taking you, but your trust in him has no bounds. And you just watch the lights and people of the vicinity fly past as you rest against him.

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

The two of you pulled up to a parking lot of a quiet park. No sign of children playing on the playground as it's way past their bedtimes, and not a single person on the basketball court playing a late game. Just the still park paired with the comforting silence and humid, cool air.

Nothing but quiet, minus your whimpers leaving evading your lips. "Haaaah—Ahhh! Daddy...'S too much, feel so—Hmmm!"

You're now lying on Toji's motorcycle, your back on the seats and your hands gripping the handlebars. Your lower half was completely exposed, with your bottoms and panties discarded around your leg. Your boyfriend was busy burying his face between your legs on his shoulders, his firm hands on your waist to keep you steady and close.

With the flick of his tongue on your clit, you bite your lip to repress a whine. But Toji wanted your cries. "Mmmm, don't do that, sweetie. No one's around, so lemme hear you."

His tongue goes back between your slick-coated vulva, sucking and lapping around the folds to have your essence in his mouth. His nose brushes up against your clitoris, resulting in a lovely moan from your swollen lips.

It's been about 10 minutes of just him ravishing your body outside this public park. You've already come three times, yet the man is relentless in having you again. He's so stubborn, so selfish. But God, it feels so good.

"Nnnmph! Hoooo—Ohhh! D-Daddy, please, your tongue, it's tew muuuch!" Your words are slurred, brain too foggy to properly speak with his tongue "Can't cumm anymore...Aaaahhhh!!"

Unbeknownst to you, Toji sneaks a hand down to your clitoris and swipes up and down with the sensitive button. Your body jerks upward from the surprise, but Toji's other hand keeps you grounded on the stationed vehicle so you and the motorbike don't go kissing the ground. "C'mon, sweetie. One more fr' me."

Before you could protest further, his tongue laves your clit again, sucking on the poor bud and lightly brushing it against his teeth. Eyes roll to the back of your head as your hips jolt to the abuse of your poor bud, and his free hand switches places to finger your leaky chasm with your fluids coating his digits.

Your release hits you hard for the fourth time that night, and your legs quake with a sharp shiver down your spine. Your cunt spasms around his fingers while the euphoric aftershocks send your body trembling.

Toji removes his face from you and looks down at your dazed expression from capitulating to your high. He whistles. "Damn, you're lookin' good lying on my bike all fucked out like this, angel."

Even in a haze, you send the man a glare. "I hope you brought a towel to clean me up."

"To clean my bike, actually." Your glare hardens, and it makes the older man snicker. "Relax, I got another one just for you."

It takes a few minutes for you to dry yourself up and for the bike to be clean of your essence and sweat. Once you pull up your bottoms, Toji has his eyes on you. "Did that help with y'r stress?"

"Mmmm, yeah, I think so." You give him a peck on the scar on his lips. "Thanks, Toji."

"No problem, kid." He pulls you by the waist to bring you close so he can rest his chin on your head. "Wanna spend the night at my place?"

"......Is that why you drove me like fifteen minutes away from my school?"

He doesn't answer.

"And I'm pretty sure we've been here before because isn't this the same park that Megumi and Tsumiki play at?"

"......"

You peer up to face the silent man. "Toji—"

The older man leans down to kiss your plump lips softly, silencing your words. With a heavy sigh, he puts his forehead atop yours. "I missed ya, kid."

The tiny confession takes you aback for a moment, but your smile appears for him to see. "Awww, did my big Toji miss having me all to himself~?"

"Shut up." He playfully bites your cheek, prompting giggles that sound like sweet music to his ears.

"I missed you too, Toji." You say with loving eyes. "Once I'm done with finals, take me on a nice long ride on your motorcycle, 'kay?"

He hums to your request and kisses you once more. "Sounds like a plan."

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello, Mr. Fellow & Gidel! Would you like to have some free treats? I've made to plenty of them... (red riding hood reader)

So tell me, do you wanna go?

“Free treats you say? Don’t mind if we do!” Fellow chirped, bending to retrieve a cookie from your wicker basket. He passed it to Gidel (who eagerly accepted), then took another one for himself.

You moved to cover the basket with a red and white checkered cloth, but Fellow stopped you. Digging a hand in, he grabbed several more. Your brows hitched but you didn’t utter a single protest as he finally sank his teeth into a biscuit, snapping clean it in half.

“So what’s with the getup?” he asked, waving the remaining half-cookie at your crimson caplet. “You goin' to a costume party?”

“I’m actually on my way to grandmother’s house,” you gently corrected him. “She lives on the other side of the woods."

"That doesn't explain the fire engine red though."

"It does." You raised your hood, shrouding your face. "They say you should wear bright colors in the forest so hunters know you're not their prey.

"Anyway, my grandma hasn't been feeling well. I thought I should visit to check up on her and drop off some 'get well soon' snacks."

"You've got even more in there?!" Fellow gaped at your basket.

"Oh yeah, plenty--there's an enchantment cast on it that expands the storage space while keeping the container light. Perfect for travel." You paused to lightly slap away Fellow's hand, which was slinking back for seconds. "Sorry, the rest of it's for grandma," you tutted, wagging a finger at him.

"Tch!" He frowned, clearly displeased. "Alright, suit yourself. Thanks for the grub, and have a safe trip there."

"Thank you! I'll see you two later then." You waved and, tucking the basket against yourself, began strolling down the path and into the woods.

Fellow waited until you were out of sight before he turned to his little partner in crime. The fox beastman now wore a sinister smirk, cruel and angular like shards of glass. "... Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Giddie?

Gidel's expression scrunched up in confusion.

Fellow sighed and tugged the child close, furiously whispering his plan to him. "I know a shortcut to the other side. We'll take that and beat the kid to her grandma's and knock out the old lady. Then I'll dress myself up in some of granny's clothes and pretend I'm her. The kid'll think I'm her granny and fork over all the goods, no problem! Maybe we can even nab that fancy bag of theirs!”

Gidel’s eyes blew wide open. Alarm quickly gave way to excitement, and he bobbed his head up and down.

"Hehehe, I'm such a genius!!" Fellow snickered. He pointed ahead with his cane. "C'mon, Giddie! Let's hit the road! Time's a-wastin'!"

[lucie-newman]

Location: Coastline When: Early January Who: @cagenewman

"You care," Lou said, cutting the engine, "if we take a little detour before grabbing burgers?" She'd lured her brother out with promises of crispy fries and greasy hamburgers, and sure the grub would be grubbed, but first she had a little surprise in her back pocket. One that had only been finalized that morning. She popped the door open, letting in a gust of cold air fresh off the water and smelling faintly of salt. "Or are you itching to get back to legos and barbies with the girls?"

[atwas-meme-ing]

HEY ALL!!! If you haven't heard, Unity is gonna start charging devs 20 cents per download. Not per sale, but PER DOWNLOAD. This applies to not only big-name games like Hollow Knight and Ori, but also smaller projects that might be free. This includes mobile games made with Unity, Undertale fan games like Undertale Yellow and Deltatraveler, and also, get this: Murder of Sonic! It was made in Unity, and so far, it's still free, but Sega's gonna hafta start charging for it sooner or later- IF they don't decide to take it down completely.

So, on this note, I have 2 things to say:

Get your favorite games NOW. Some devs, like Team Cherry, are talking about "taking their games down" (so much for Silksong- thanks A LOT, Unity!!!). I don't know if that means you'll still be able to play these games- like on Steam, for instance- if you already have them downloaded.

Please, please, PLEASE, support those games that are made with Unity. 20 cents adds up when there's a million downloads, and if it's like a mobile game, where people don't necessarily have to pay for it, that's going to COST the devs money- a LOT of money. I know we all hate the paywalls and "pay-to-win" schemes in mobile games, but let's be real- crap like this Unity thing are the whole reason those paywalls exist! These devs aren't doing this for free, they're trying to make a living! Even if you only spend $1, only 1 time, that is STILL going to be an 80 cent profit over the new Unity costs, and maybe, just maybe, give some game devs enough incentive to keep the game around.

I know Unity has a bad rep because it's easy to use and allows devs to release games that control poorly because you don't have to be good at coding to do it (*cough* Guardian of Lore *cough*). That's why I haven't used Unity, despite having several game ideas in my head, because I don't know how to code (yet), and I didn't want to release a game like that- and now I never will use Unity. But games like all the ones I've mentioned are proof that Unity CAN be used for good games, in the right hands. So please, if you love a game made with Unity, please support it, so the game doesn't go away. Don't send the devs into bankruptcy just because Unity is a money-grubbing so-and-so.

(Oh, I should also mention, for browser-based games, apparently this "per download" thing also includes "per BROWSER REFRESH". So, yeah, please don't blame the devs, support the devs and blame Unity.)

EDIT: It's not quite as bad as I'd thought. I knew Unity had a threshold, but I thought it was an either/or thing- either a certain number of downloads, or a certain amount of money made from a game. And, it's not, it's both.

So free games (like Murder of Sonic) apparently won't be affected.

Here's their pricing schedule once the threshold is met:

It still adds up for the smaller projects, with Unity taking all or most of the revenue from smaller games.

And one thing that's still bothering me: the install threshold is "life to date" and Unity is charging per install over the threshold. So, if a game's been around for years and had a million downloads and has made 200,000 dollars in the last year, they're gonna end up paying that 200,000 all at once.

At least, that's what I'm reading.

So, ok, I was wrong. Free projects won't be affected. But this is still awful, especially when it's first starting out.

EDIT 2 (2023-09-23): They've lessened the fees:

I'm still not using them. They never had a good reputation- I mean, there's good Unity games, but there's also a lot of bad ones because people can just release games with Unity with no coding experience. I want to make games someday, but I want them to be a good quality, so I'm waiting until I can actually figure out C++ (heck, I'm still wading through HTML, I'm nowhere near real programming languages). As long as I have to learn coding to make something good, I might as well find an engine that I can trust. I hear a lot about Godot. I also think I'll want to look at Monogame, because Monogame was used to make Axiom Verge and Celeste, and it's apparently based on the defunct XNA that was used to make Stardew Valley. Or I'll find something else. But not Unity. I just don't trust them.

[thewertsearch]

Kanaya <3

This is the first troll we've seen who's not a newborn grub or thirteenish-year-old Player. I guess they pupate directly into a scaled-down version of their adult body.

She looks barely larger than a grub, so it can't have been long since the trials, assuming the Sburb trolls did them at all. The comic has never elaborated on what these trials entail, but I think this is the first aspect of Homestuck's universe that I don't want a loredrop on.

GA: I Dont Mean Hes The Universe You Are From GA: We Engineered That Incarnation GA: He Is The Universe That You Are Trying To Create

GA: That Statement Was As Literal As You Can Possibly Make Words Be GA: I Know Your Species Is Frequently Insincere For A Variety Of Reasons GG: but your species is too! […] GA: Thats True But When We Do It Its Usually Just Because We Are Trying To Be Jerks

And when you're trying not to be jerks, too. Alternia is just kind of.... like that.

GG: i try to say what i mean as much as i can GA: Yeah I Think Ive Been Discerning That GA: Its A Nice Change Of Pace […] GG: haha, you mean from rose?

Jade knows what the fuck is up. Maybe it's her turn to wingman for Rose.

GA: I Wont Be Speaking To Her Anymore Though GG: why? GG: oh yeah, because you said she is blacked out? GG: what the heck does that mean! GA: It Just Means In A Few Moments From Your Perspective I Wont Be Able To See Her Through My Viewport Or Talk To Her

The blackout occurred while these two girls were in conversation, meaning Rose is about to message Jade right as it kicks in.

This message is obviously important - but what could it be? Is Rose trying to warn Jade about the circumstances that cause the blackout, in order to protect her from its effects?

GA: She Has Been Relying On The Powers And Counsel Of Dark Gods And Other Sources Of Ambiguous Intent GA: And She Has Consequently Devised A Plan Which Sounds Very Dangerous To Me GG: yeah, i didnt like the sound of her plan either! GA: You Are More Sensible GA: Its Probably The Influence Skaia Has Had On You GA: Having Spent Much Of Your Life Awake On Prospit GA: Like Me

We've talked before about what Dream Moon affinity really means for a Player. The theory I liked the most was that Prospit kids are predisposed to follow their fate, whereas Derse kids are inclined to defy their destiny.

This seems like more fuel for that fire, as Rose's acts of desperation and defiance clash with Jade's more levelheaded, 'sensible' attitude. rose, you're going to break something! :o

[paninicupcakke]

Pumpkin Smash 🎃🦇

(Blunt trauma fic series)

Scout - Freddie

Medic - Conrad

(CW: grief, angst)

Luckily for the mourning doctor, a rookie Medic from another server was able to switch shifts with him after his recent incident. A Medic is no good if they waste company time continually sending themselves to respawn. A well deserved break was granted to him. Conrad still had some tedious paperwork to do but no messy lab work for today. Once done with said paperwork, he sat alone in his office. The annual BLU Halloween party would soon begin in just a few minutes. He silently sat there with a blank expression, dressed in one of the many costumes Rose had sewed for him. Conrad’s fingers slowly grazed the stitches running up his bell sleeves. His eyes shifted over to a trinket on his desk. A small porcelain figurine she had had gifted to him. Replicating one of his many pet doves. Unfortunately, he had to give many of them away during this time. He kept one of course but the care they all needed was too much to handle. Conrad slowly reached up to hold the tiny porcelain dove in his hand. Staring longingly at it before his eyes began to blind himself with tears. They flooded down his cheeks. His tear droplets had trickled onto his hand and onto the porcelain dove. Beginning to loudly weep with his head hunched over his desk. She was everywhere all the the time. It was difficult to not be reminded of her daily. His work desk was full of constant reminders. A framed photo of them both, the porcelain dove, the garments he was wearing that day. His beloved black brimmed fedora that he wore everyday. Rose had gifted it to him one day on the bus.

‘Every man needs a good hat.’

Her voice rung through his mind. Trying so desperately to mimic her exact voice and tone. Left alone with only reflections of the memory. Conrad quickly grabbed a fistful of tissues beside him and began blowing his nose and cleaning himself up. He opened one of the drawers to his desk and pulled out a compact mirror. Yet another reminder. Conrad took off his sunglasses and began cleaning up with more tissues. Placing his sunglasses back on, hoping to cover his puffy and drained eyes.

Freddie had been stood behind the doctor’s office door this whole time. Quietly listening to his colleague cry while he hung his head low in empathetic sorrow. He stood there with a warm bucket of chicken in his hands. The young man took several deep breaths before entering the doctor’s office. Pushing open the door with a wide, confident smirk.

“Party time! You hungry? Engineer just picked up all the grub for the party.” Freddie announced while eagerly walking up to the doctor’s desk. Conrad flinched slightly at his office door opening. He set the dove and compact mirror back down onto his desk, collecting himself and quickly putting back on his top hat. The Scout’s chipper demeanor and cute hat brought a small grin to the doctor’s cheeks.

“Perhaps later. I don’t want to get mein costume dirty quite yet.” Conrad replied while adjusting his sunglasses.

“C’mon doc, you can’t just live on olives and protein shakes. You gotta eat somethin’.” Freddie insisted while setting the bucket of chicken down onto a free spot on his desk. Conrad let out a small sigh, he disliked hearing the truth. Lately, eating and cooking became a chore he loathed entirely. Only eating foods that required little to no preparation.

“Fine. Only if you split a piece with me. I can’t eat all that.” Conrad replied. Freddie lit up and instantly grabbed a drumstick from the striped bucket. Eagerly taking a big bite from the deliciously fried and crispy chicken leg. Conrad snickered watching the man dressed as a chicken happily eating away at a fried drumstick.

“I’m assuming you’re a chicken?” Conrad asked raising an eyebrow. Freddie finished chewing and swallowed the tender piece in his mouth.

“Not just any chicken. I’m a cannibal chicken.” Freddie bluntly stated. Conrad let out a small chuckle. He stood up from his desk, adjusting his top hat and shirt collar.

“Nice get up. I always dig the vampire look.” Freddie complimented, eyeing the doctor up and down.

“Danke.” Conrad bashfully replied. Freddie handed the doctor the half eaten piece of chicken in his hand. Conrad quickly took off his gloves, shoving them into his back pocket before taking the greasy drumstick. He took a few small bites while walking over to the door of his office. Freddie grabbed the bucket of chicken and followed after him. Both men walked out of the doctor’s office and down the hallway. The Halloween party was held outside this year, on the back porch area of the BLU base. Conrad suddenly paused his steps once at the Scout’s bedroom door. Freddie stopped also, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“You should grab a coat, it’s cold outside.” Conrad suggested. Holding his hands out to take the bucket of chicken from him while he goes to grab one. Freddie let out a sigh, handing him the bucket and quickly going into his bedroom. Grabbing the first button up coat he could find. Once lazily shoving his arms through the coat, both men continued down the hallway. All of the other BLU mercenaries were outside happily mingling. Conrad set down the bucket of chicken onto the kitchen counter nearby. Freddie went over to reach for the door handle to the back porch. Conrad had swiftly grabbed the Scout by the back of his shirt collar, stopping him in his tracks.

“Not so fast.” Conrad sternly said.

“Aw c’mon, what’s up?” Freddie asked impatiently. Conrad swiftly spun the young man to face him directly.

“You need to button this up. I don’t want you catching a cold again.” Conrad firmly said. Beginning to button up the young man’s coat closed. Freddie stood there, bashfully gazing up at the doctor’s face. Once finished, Conrad patted the Scout’s shoulder.

“There, now let’s go have some fun. Shall we?” Conrad said with a wide grin.

“Y-yeah.” Freddie shyly stuttered. Admiring the doctor’s eager expression. Fully aware that it might not last long. Appreciating it while he could. The Scout then frantically opened the backdoor and both men eagerly stepped outside. Gazing at the Halloween decor scattered all around the back porch. Hearing the soft oldies music come from their outside radio. A few of the other mercenaries glanced up at the doctor as soon as he exited the door. As if they had been waiting for him to come out. Especially Pyro and Engineer from their eager expressions. The last few Halloween’s, Conrad would have confidently walked out with his accordion in both hands. This was vastly different. He quietly gazed around at his colleague’s worried but eager expressions. He wanted nothing more then to march back inside and hide. Hit with a flush of embarrassment and shame. Conrad kept his composure and quickly walked over to one of the many tables and chairs set out. He sat down, frantically grabbing a piece of candy and unwrapping it. Desperately trying his hardest to keep a happy facade. This was it. Everyone of his colleague’s were fully aware that something was up with him. He would soon be found out in no time. Conrad anxiously chewed and finished the delicious piece of chocolate. Freddie had followed behind him along with Pyro. Both sat on each side of him. Engineer had walked over to their table as well, patting the doctor’s shoulder lightly.

“You look great doc. Here, you wanna be the designated pumpkin smasher?” Engineer asked with a kind grin. Handing the man a festive stick in orange and purple tape. It was a BLU Halloween tradition for one mercenary to smash a large pumpkin with the Red logo carved into it. Conrad was caught off guard by that question.

“I-I shouldn’t.” Conrad replied nervously. Afraid of losing his temper yet again.

“Please doc, we all took a vote and thought you might like to have a wack at it.” Engineer stated. Conrad took a deep breath, carefully taking the stick from his colleague. All three mercenaries walked alongside Conrad to the large pumpkin set up. A few other mercenaries also perked up and walked over to see the fun, mess ensue.

“C’MON DOC! BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THAT PUMPKIN ALREADY!” Soldier loudly encouraged. Conrad chuckled slightly. Taking a step closer, slowly raising the stick up. The other mercenaries began to chime in and cheer him on. Conrad inhaled deeply before swinging the stick down and violently smashing the pumpkin open. Repeatedly beating it until it was a mushy pulp. Most of the mercenaries were cheering and hyping him up. Spy on the other hand was silent, carefully watching the doctor’s expression and movements. This was one way of getting to see the built up tension leave the suffering doctor’s being for just a moment. The Frenchman was determined to find out what was wrong with his fellow teammate. He never intended to be devious and spy on his colleague’s but he desperately felt concerned. He flicked his finished cigarette and cloaked behind the crowd of his loud teammates. The mercenaries were all preoccupied with praising the doctor. Spy had quickly vanished before everyone else had noticed. Or so he thought…

🎃

(The end! For this part…here’s some more loadouts of Freddie & Conrad :3)

[burnwater13]

A Funko Pop! of Peli Motto holding a smiling Grogu. The Mythosaur symbol from the box is behind the figure. Lime green fabric is used as a background and the foreground. Image by me.

Fast Talk

Grogu had to admit that one of his great pleasures when traveling to Tatooine was knowing that he was going to spend some time with Peli Motto. Yes, she did some things that just bugged him, but most of the time she was the best thing that happened to him during the trip. 

First, she always, always, always, made sure that he had plenty to eat. He’d never met a person who was so generous with food. If she didn’t have anything to hand, then the pit droids were immediately sent in search of something suitable. After the incident with the Scorpenek Annihilator droids, she made sure there was always something he loved tucked away in the garage’s preserver. 

“Kid, if you hadn’t pulled that bolt out, you and I were both done for. No doubt about it. You did the heavy liftin’ and I’m eternally grateful.”

Grogu was pretty sure she had said that all in approximately 1.2 seconds. Yup. Peli Motto really was a fast talker. He had thought that the High Magistrate’s accountant, the Mythrol, was a fast talker, but he wasn’t even in Peli’s school, let alone her class. While he was an absolute master of speaking to deceive (don’t ask, it’s too embarrassing), compared to Peli, he did that with a slow, even, steady tone of voice that proved that fast talk could be slow talk and still convince you to hand over your last five credits to obtain beans that would grow in poor soil, without water, and make you rich and famous. (Oops. Now you know.)

Second, getting back to Peli, she always made sure that Grogu learned something new in a fun and entertaining way. She didn’t lecture. She didn’t pull out charts and graphs. She didn’t talk about theory. Nope. She had you walk right up and get elbow deep in the guts of an engine and then said stuff like, ‘okay, feel that bump? Not the big bump, the little bump. It’s more like a grain of sand than a rock. Got that? Good, now..” And the next thing you knew you had tuned the engine, cleaned the air filter, and improved the timing of a sequencer, and it was just done by feel. No fast talkin’ then. Nope. But not a lot of big words or terms of art or stuff like that either. It had been a real relief from the endless ‘No, the red one. Not that one, the red one…’ that he got from his dad when he tried to help with the N-1. 

Finally, Peli seemed to understand Grogu even when no one else did. He would chirp, or coo, or grumble and she would bark out orders to the pit droids without hesitation. 

‘The kid needs a hand with that! Hop to it!’

‘Haven’t ya fed 'im yet? Get ‘im some grub! I don’t know. Whatever kind of grubs he asks for!’

‘He needs to use the privy! STAT! Pick ‘im up! Go! Go! Go!’

As awkward as some of those interactions could be, like the time he was actually asking if he could watch a vid and they ended up putting him in the emergency shower and activating it because they thought he’d gotten some sort of acid on his skin (he hadn’t that time), Grogu still appreciated that she mostly understood and took action. He tried to do the same for her. It wasn’t as easy as it looked. 

Peli was the fastest talker Grogu had ever met and that included his friend Ian from the Jedi temple. That was a tough call. Grogu had sometimes wondered if the two of them were related, somehow. Maybe they were distant cousins?

Because, while Ian was taller than Peli, even when he was just a youngling, he still had that same kind lightening fast ability to assess a situation and use words to his advantage. They both always sounded friendly. They were full of energy. And they were both able to hide themselves so well in the words, it might take days before you realized that your prized sabacc deck had gone missing just as they were winning everything from everyone, including you. You didn’t resent them for it. You were just glad you were there for their special brand of magic. 

Grogu actually liked that as well. Peli did magic and allowed him to do ‘magic’ as well. They were both petite people and faced many similar challenges. She could talk the pit droids into climbing on each other’s shoulders to reach a part for her that was high up on a shelf, while he used the Force as soon as the droids collapsed in a pile and floated the part over to her. She always laughed and clapped when he helped her that way and it made him feel as tall as a Wookiee every time she did it. 

“Listen buddy, there are a bunch of people who pretend to help. There are a lot a people who try to help. You and yer dad are actually people who help. As a fellow helper myself, I really appreciate that. You and I? We’re cut from the same cloth and that cloth is pretty fine, even if I say so myself.”

Grogu couldn’t argue with that and he didn’t want to either. If he was lucky he’d end up with a full head of beautiful curly brown hair and then they could tell people they were twins. They were both good at fast talk. It wouldn’t be that hard. Right?