#guess what album i've been listening to while writing

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Help me name my next fic

Frantically trying to finish one more fic for jonmartin week and I suck at titles.

[crimeronan]

any chance you'd drop your worldbuilding playlist?

[glances over the playlist] hmmmm yeah sure. this has gone slightly beyond worldbuilding into "worldbuilding plus songs that relate to Very specific story moments" but there's not much concrete to glean about the plot beyond Vibes (TM). so

magic with teeth

[rosinaparker]

hii I've read your blogs and they are literally perfect, but I have a request could you do a han x f!reader smut ? Feel free to say no, thank you <3★

THANK YOU 😭 this will be my first time writing smut please bare with me😞

Rainy day huh?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, smut, friends to lovers

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: best friend!Han Jisung x f!reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, fingering, messy making out

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: there's a thunderstorm outside and you don't have an umbrella. luckily your best friends apartment complex was near and you decide to go dry off at his place..but things escalate after the tension between you two finally snaps.

It was poring outside, my clothes drenched as i ran around for shelter. A small shop was still open at this hour, currently 10pm. I open my phone, looking at my location seems like I'm near Hannies place, i should go and dry off at his! I thought.

i went off to find his apartment. its been a while since i've seen him, he has been really busy with work and producing new songs for the album. though i must admit, it's been hard hanging out with him. why? because i might've catched feelings for that dork.

i enter the building, quickly running up the stairs. i fix my hair before ringing the doorbell. the door opens slightly, revealing a messy haired jisung, His facial expression immediately changing as he saw me "hey, its pouring outside. mind if i come in?" i shot him a smile. "of course! how did you even end up around here?" he chuckled letting me in and taking my wet jacket off. "i was on a meeting with my boss, nothing special" he listened with a smile plastered on his face "need some new clothes?" I nod shyly to which he laughs "no need to be shy baby, it's not your first time changing into my clothes" he winked. why did he make it sound so dirty?! "dont make it sound like that. i only changed into your clothes once because of that one sleepover" i scoff, following him into his bedroom. "yeah, whatever you say. here have these" he threw me some sweatpants and a black hoodie. He quickly left the room, letting me change in peace.

After changing i went to the kitchen, where Jisung was waiting. "thanks for the spare clothes hannie", he shot me a sweet smile, turning back to what he was doing. curiously i sneaked up behind him "cooking?" i asked, making him jump a little "yeah, or at least trying to. the rain and coldness probably got you hungry" he stirred the ramen up. "how sweet of you" i pat his shoulder. he made us each a cup of ramen, leaning onto the counter together. "so, how have you been?" he asks slurping his noodles. "oh uhm, i've been okay" I avoid his eyes. He sighed suddenly "okay i'm gonna stop acting oblivious. why have you been avoiding me?" he got straight to the point huh? "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to come off like that. i didn't want to disturb you since this past month was pretty rough for you and the guys" I quietly explain putting the ramen on the counter and turning myself to him "You really got me worried. i thought you didn't want to spent time anymore" he chuckled, repeating my moves, leaving the noodles and turning to me. "i missed you", he whispers, looking me deep in the eyes. god, my stomach was twisting "i missed you too.." i stutter out making him chuckle "oh yeah? the way I missed you or the way friends would miss each other?" he came closer. What? was he confessing? what is happening?! "i, uh what?-" I mumble out, taken aback "sorry, was i too straightforward?", he sighs "i just..realized it's hard without you around" He spoke softly, melting my heart. "forget it. i dont know what i'm saying-" i pulled him in for a hug "no, no. I like you too. just a bit unexpected" i stare into his eyes. "please tell me i can kiss you.." he huffed putting his hands on my waist, i only giggled pulling him in for a kiss. the kiss was soft yet passionate, i guess we were both longing for this. It went back and worth, the oxygen leaving both our lungs. Jisung signaled for me to jump onto the counter, which i gladly did. our tongues fighting for dominance but there was no use for that, he was sliding his hand under my shirt, caressing my spine absolutely dominating me. i sighed into the kiss. His other hand stroked my thigh. we parted "do tell if i go to far baby" he went back in, pulling me closer to his growing crotch. he untucked the strings on the sweatpants slowly taking them off my legs which i allow. he looked down, noticing that i didn't have panties on "oh? Naughty aren't we?" my cheeks flush as he said that "they were wet from the rain.." I look away embarrassed. he slowly stroke a line, making me whine. i tug on his shirt, pulling him into a kiss. he gently rubbed my clit taking in any sounds i made. As we were messily making out, he pushed a finger in. i immediatly moaned into the kiss, pulling away and covering my mouth. he pushed my hand away from my mouth, placing it on his shoulder "let me hear you" he carefully put another one in. i bit my lip, tears forming in my eyes "hurts?" i shake my head looking up at him. he shot me a smirk going in to place kisses on my neck. he sped up, the lewd sound turning us both even more on. i started shaking, about to finish "hannie, please a little more" I plead into his ear. He gladly kept the speed up making me release onto his fingers with a last loud moan. he kissed me as i was coming down my high. "we should do that more often, huh?" he narrowed his eyes at me. unfortunately his phone started ringing. he gently pulled out of me, whining at the loss of contact. he picked up "yeah? okay be there in 10." he kissed me once more on the lips ending the call. "gotta go to the studio. Chan needs me." he caressed my hair "you should stay over tonight though..its still raining" he grinned, i only rolled my eyes "i'm gonna take a shower, don't take too long with chan"

-Rose✩ (Holy fuck what just happened)

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Hazband 2: Band AU

Buckle Up, Buttercups. This is gonna be looooooooooong.

-"Insider Bands" playing on VH666 streaming services on a computer monitor / TV screen sitting on the desk against the far wall-

Charlie: (laying on her belly on her bed and chewing her nails like a cartoon goat chews through a field of grass as she watches the TV)

Riff Rascal: Alright, dudes, dudettes, non-duders, and rock-aholics! That was Simple Plain's newest single "Why Are We Kids?!". Coming up next, our guy, our big shredder, our big bad-

????: Dammit, Riff!!!! Just get on with it!!!

Riff Rascal: Yo, sorry, boss lady! Coming up next, we have our expert in all things metal and shredding, Axel Steelgrave, conducting a super secret, super exclusive interview with one of Hell's latest and greatest! Stay tuned!

Charlie: (whines and plasters her face into the comforter) Fuck! I really messed up! I shouldn't have released that album, guys! What if Vaggie doesn't like girls outside of the metal scene?! Then I'm just the creepy, stalker, pop diva who messages her on Sinstagram every once and a while! And likes all of her posts! And comments on each picture! And-

Razzle: (trying to finish polishing Charlie's hooves after a full pedicure and hoof care) Baap?

Charlie: So? It was only ever mentioned once in a tabloid that she was once in a poly ship with a man and woman before. Nothing set in stone. Who listens to tabloids anyway? She said she was a lesbian in her last interview with Angel Metal Monthly.

Dazzle: (brings up a wide array of nail polishes) BaaaAaaAp?

Charlie: Yes! She messages me back almost immediately after every message I send her, but that doesn't mean the's interested in me. She hasn't been online in a week! (rolls over and flops onto her back, covering her eyes with her arm) Not since Katie Killjoy did that whole news segment on my new single music video and album.

Dazzle: (painting Charlie's hooves in a deep red hue called "Wicked Sinister") Baaaaaaap. BaaaAAaaap. Baap. (clicks his hoof in a way that's supposed to look like a sassy finger snap and blows heated air over the paint)

Razzle: Baap! (scowls) Baaap. Baaa. Baap!

Charlie: Thanks, Razzle. No, Dazzle. I really don't think this is some kind of rebound. I really started liking her during the Battle of the Bands gig over at the Jackpot Hotel and Casino. She was the first person who didn't openly laugh at me being there even though I was the only pop singer there.

-VH666 blares back with a heavy metal guitar riff-

Axel Steelgrave: Hey, good evening, everyone. How's it going? Tonight, we have a very special guest. (camera pans out to show Vaggie sitting next to Axel in an interview chair) Lead singer, guitarist, and rocking girl, Vaggie the Steel Vagina from Fallen Angels.

Charlie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! (crocodile death rolls around in her excitement and falls out of bed, completely wrapped in a burrito, and worm crawls over to the TV) RAZZLE!!! DAZZLE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

Razzle: (salutes) Baap! (grabs the remote and turns up the volume)

Dazzle: (sad bleats as he looks at the mess of nail polish everywhere) baaaaaap.....

Vaggie: (trying not to snarl at the name) It's just Vaggie, Axel.

Axel Steelgrave: Oh, sure. Sure. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to come and see us. Not gonna lie. We were shocked to hear that you were coming out with a new single so quickly.

Charlie: (plasters her face to the screen) New Single?!?!?!?!?!

Vaggie: (blushes slightly) Well, I figured after hearing the Princess's new album and call-out, I should work on a reply.

Angel: (from behind the camera man) You wouldn't have had ta write and record a whole new song and music video if you just sent 'er a video of you jacking it all week! I've never heard dat vibrator work so hard in its life! I swear I smelled smoke last night!

Charlie: (squeals, gasps, and shrieks all at once and falls backwards)

Vaggie: (jumps up from her seat) Angel! What the Fuck?!

Axel Steelgrave: Well, well, well, I guess that answers my next question. I take it this new single is going to be good news for the Princess?

Vaggie: (still steaming as she sits back down and tries to compose herself) I know you have the video on hand. Why not play it and let the fans see for themselves?

Axel Steelgrave: I couldn't have said it better myself. (to the camera) With that being said, let's take a look at a sneak peek of Fallen Angel's new single: "Dear, Charlie - For Somewhere Better".

-Video cuts to some random point in the music video where Vaggie is standing in black leather skirt that has the leather ripped into strips in a hoola-skirt style, black halter tank top, thigh high leather heeled boots, and black fingerless gloves, holding and shredding a guitar. Angel is a pink, fabulous gay disaster on drums while one set of hands works a keyboard.-

Vaggie: (singing) We'll ignite. Still dreaming wide awake. On the hunt for "Somewhen brighter". Pull me close now, and I'll dream until my dying day. Till we create a new "Somewhere better". The promise of a life. Like a thousand suns inside my broken heart. I can see through your eyes. And embrace the flame that guides me through the night.

-Video Cuts back to the interview-

Axel Steelgrave: (freaking out excitedly) Wow! That's quite the statement! Good on you, Steel Vagina!

Vaggie: Vaggie.

Axel Steelgrave: Before we end this exclusive, is there anything you want to say to the Princess in case she's watching?

Vaggie: (Face falls briefly as her eye widens and a blush colors her face) Oh.... (shakes her head to compose herself, looks into the camera, and makes a telephone gesture) Call me~

Axel Steelgrave: (laughing) Alright! You heard it here first, folks. "Dear, Charlie" will be available on HellTunes tonight at midnight. Thank you all so much for tuning in. And, as always, stay rocking.

Charlie: (finally managing to unravel the blanket and sitting on the floor with a bright red blush) C-Call.... Her.... She wants me to call her... (jumps up and down like a teenager in a bad "not another teen movie" while holding Razzle and Dazzle's hooves) SHE WANTS ME TO CALL HER!!!! (pauses) How?! I don't have her number!

-DING!-

Charlie: (dives for her phone on the floor and opens a new Sinstagram message)

FallenAngelVaggie: Hope you got a chance to watch "Insider Bands" tonight. Talk to you later? Maybe over coffee? XXX-XXX-XXXX

Charlie: (takes a deep breath) SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Vaggie: (leaning against the wall of the VH666 studio, holding her phone against her chest, and taking a long drag of a cigarette)

Angel: Hey! I thought you were quitting! (yoinks the cigarette and plops it between his lips)

Vaggie: Dammit, Angel! I said I'd be done once my case is empty! (digs in her pocket and pulls out an angelic steel cigarette case) It still has four left! I haven't even lit up in nearly six months!

Angel: I know! Proud of you for that. That interview rile you up that much that you gotta wreck six months of hard work?

Vaggie: Ugh! (slams her back into the wall) You think Charlie got the message?

-squeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Angel: (looks up at the sky towards the Morningstar Mansion where it looks like fireworks are going off on one of the balconies) Oh, I think she got it~

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Midnights is defined by duality: The story of an unreliable narrator and performance art (Part 1)

One year on, I think I've finally figured out what midnights is about. And it might surprise you.

The midnights album has just celebrated its first anniversary. And having listened to these songs for the last 12 months, staying up late to watch live streams of the Eras tour, and at times being unable to escape news about Taylor on every medium, I finally have an idea that makes all of this make sense: This is Taylor's duality era. And she wants us to notice. Join me on the ride if you want to know more :)

I made a post a few weeks ago about how the Midnights aesthetic has the ‘two Taylors’ duology: Private vs public, which is the lead theme that carries over into the music and most recently also into her public image. Midnights had a mismatched visual to it from the very beginning with the depressed 70s look (announcement photo and vinyl covers) and the glamourous midnight blue (cover image and public appearances).

The two Taylors in the Anti Hero mv really drove home the message for me that this album is about two versions of the same story, and Taylor is the writer and narrator. And while I'm sure that these two versions have existed for a lot longer than the midnights era, they have not previously been so prominently next to each other. In fact, the very point of having the public narrative, is to keep Taylor's private life out of the public eye. She has never shied away from providing the 'stories' that her fans want to see in order to relate to her music, and as the girl that made her fame with songs about heartbreak and fairytale princes, that usually meant being seen with a man that these songs could be attributed to. And she made sure people would make the connection, be it with scarves that change ownership, or foxes on shirts:

(Btw you can't deny how effective this was, with just a few photos she managed to hang an entire album on each of these men!)

So, acting is not new to Taylor. In addition to appearing in a few feature films and TV shows since 2010, she's done this public performance for well over a decade now. And she has been vocal in recent years about her intention to go into filmmaking, so we know she's able to tell stories in multiple ways. She's a storyteller first and foremost, maybe the best of our generation. But is she a reliable narrator?

What does 'unreliable narrator' mean?

A story told by a so-called unreliable narrator, is usually a first person narration, where it turns out that the person telling the story was either lying or in some other way unable to give a truthful account of events (e.g. hallucinating or dreaming). That usually means that the audience is left with having to interpret for themselves what really happened and what was real or not real. Famous examples of this kind of storytelling are the 2010 psycho thriller 'Black Swan' with Natalie Portman, or the YA novel 'We were liars' by E. Lockhart. If you like stories that leave you guessing, check those out ;)

So, why is Taylor an unreliable narrator? For those fans that have paid attention to her lyrics, it has long been evident that her songwriting and public narrative don't match up. The most obvious theme being her 17-year run of writing songs about secret relationships and hiding, while she was parading men around in public to be photographed with. But, as we know, most people ignore it because it's just easier than digging deeper into lyrics. But now with Midnights, I'm starting to think she wants people to notice the duality and start to question her narrative. The sheer number of songs on that album that have strong double meaning or draw attention to lying or distorting the truth is astonishing: Right out the gate with track 1 we have Lavender Haze, a pretty loud song about bearding using the very well established queer reference of lavender. (And maybe she leaned out of the window a little too far with that title, because we all know the gaylor uproar was so loud when the title was revealed, that she had to backpedal and hetsplain it.) Immediately followed by Maroon, the song that has probably singlehandedly turned the most swifties into gaylors since Bettygate of 2020... Then on to Anti Hero, the ultimate duality song that also makes mention of lying and scheming, same as Mastermind. High Infidelity and You're Losing Me join the ranks of songs that look like they are about romantic relationships on the surface, but could also be interpreted to be about Taylor's relationship with fame and her fans. High Infidelity is a play on words of the term High Fidelity or HIFI, which is a 90s sound technology that refers to truthful reproduction of sound. High INfidelity is therefore a genius way of referring to both cheating and unfaithful reproduction of sound, almost like someone who makes music that isn't quite truthful... We also know from Aaron Dessner that this song was written following the 2021 Grammys and in the light of the whole William Bowery grammygate situation... I think there is point to be made about this song drawing attention to lying in a big way.

The timing of the release of You're losing me right around the time that her breakup with Joe made the news also feeds the narrative of a breakup song. But in this very 'breakup song' she says You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't" and talks about sending signals that fall on deaf ears. Doesn't that sound an awful lot like 'I gave so many signs'? What does she know the addressee won't understand? Is it that when she finally reveals all her lies 90% of her fans will be shocked to their very core? On the exclusive CD version that has this track on it, it also immediately follows Dear Reader which on the track list looks like this:

Dear Reader You're Losing me (Does that look like a message? I think it does...)

By the time we make it to Dear Reader, she's basically told us 'I'm a liar who hides behind fake lavender relationships who charms everyone like a sleezy congressman, I'm the narcissistic Anti Hero you can't trust who schemes like a criminal and plans out everything like the puppet master I am, just so you like me and therefore you shouldn't look up to me, but I know you still will.' If that doesn't scream 'I want you to question everything I say or do' I don't know what does. Which brings us to performance art.

What is performance art?

Performance art is any kind of visual art that involves a dramatic performance aspect. To explain how this relates to Taylor and who she may have taken inspiration from, I refer to the brilliant Kristina Parro on TikTok:

Ok, groundwork is laid, but this is getting too long. Part 2 will be relating this to upcoming music releases and media coverage but that will have to wait til tomorrow.

As always, thanks for humouring me guys!

[genderliquid-witch]

What are the Bad Kids' favourite Death Grips projects? (Fantasy High)

I've been having a blast watching Fantasy High: Junior Year, and I have also been relistening to a lot of Death Grips' discography. So, like I do with most of the fandoms I'm in, I'm going to guess what I think each of the Bad Kids' favourite Death Grips project would be. I will give reasoning for each one, but be warned that they are almost completely arbitrary.

Adaine Abernant: n-ggas on the moon

While on one hand I feel like Adaine would find some of the band's heavier albums a bit startling, I think she'd love n-ggas on the moon. It's got this whimsical atmosphere that I think a wizard would really vibe with, and I can see drunk Adaine wilding out to the more high energy tracks like Have A Sad Cum BB and Billy Not Really. Not to mention she'd have a great time deciphering what are arguably Death Grips' most cryptic and mysterious lyrics. This is a party wizard album for sure.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster: Fashion Week

As we all know, Fabian indulges in the finer things in life, and I think his taste in experimental Sacramento-based hip hop would be no different. Fashion Week is the closest Death Grips has ever come to luxury and I'm sure that would attract a young Seacaster. He's totally the type to brag about how refined his taste in music is, evident by how he chooses one of the band's more obscure, instrumental projects over the mainstream slop that is The Money Store. As for the music itself, I feel it's perfect for some wild interpretive dance, and I think Fabian would agree. I can already picture him doing some crazy sheet dance to Runway E.

Fig Faeth: Jenny Death

Jenny Death is the heaviest album in Death Grips' discography, almost acting as fully fledged psychedelic, punk metal album, so I can't imagine why Fig wouldn't adore it. The loud, abrasive guitars, the hypnotic production, the drums that practically punch your ears; it all just screams Fig to me! I mean when I saw the band live the songs from Jenny Death were easily the ones that caused the crowd to go completely wild, and we all know Fig loves a wild crowd. Even the names of the songs are perfect for her: I Break Mirrors With My Face In the United States, Centuries of Damn, Beyond Alive, and The Powers That B all sound like they came right from the Archdevil's own mind.

Also yes, I'm aware I missed an opportunity to assign her Bottomless Pit, but these are the sacrifices I make for accuracy.

Gorgug Thistlespring: Exmilitary

For a barbarian drummer, I can see no better fit than the band's debut mixtape, Exmilitary. This mixtape is so raw and primal, I mean the drums sound like war drums. We already know that Gorgug loves heavy, intense music, so I think he'd totally rock with this. I also think that the tape's unique, grinding production would appeal to his artificer side; it's a perfect mix of rage and technology, and I can imagine him blasting something like Takyon or Guillotine as he hacks through some enemies.

Kristen Applebees: Government Plates

For someone who's constantly riddled with feelings of doubt and confusion while also maintaining a general aura of weirdness (affectionate), I think Government Plates is a good pick for Kristen. It's the kind of album that you have to sit down and listen to a couple times before you really vibe with it; it doesn't want to be understood, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying! Not to mention the pure emotional intensity of tracks like You Might Think He Loves You... (I'm not writing the full title.), Two Heavens, and Bootleg (Don't Need Your Help) suit Kristen very well imo. An underappreciated album for an underappreciated character.

Riz Gukgak: No Love Deep Web

And for everyone's favourite little weirdo is what I consider Death Grips' certified weirdo album (They're all weirdo albums, but this one especially so). Though my reason for choosing No Love Deep Web as Riz's favourite Death Grips project isn't because of the music itself, but rather the history surrounding this album. If you didn't know, this album was released through a secret Alternate Reality Game on the deep web where fans had to solve incredibly cryptic puzzles over a few days in order to gain access to a link that allowed them to torrent the album, and I think that Riz would be all over that shit; I can imagine him setting up a little cork board with all of the clues and whatnot strung up. I don't even know if he'd even like the music, I think he's just invested in the mystery!

[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Chapter 4)

Summary: Your weekend with Mitch and Sarah far exceeds all of your expectations.

This chapter is twice as long as all of the previous ones and is both sweet and spicy. Writing this while upping my hours at work and moving apartments was, a challenge to put it lightly. I've never written anything like this before so I hope I did it justice and you all enjoy!

TW: There's smut. It's not crazy (reader is v innocent) but there is in fact smut

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After slipping on your shoes and your jacket, you meet the couple back in the entrance hallway. You all walk out to the car, Mitch locking up behind him before sliding in the driver's seat. You climb in the back while Sarah plugs her phone in to play music. You make her put on Harry’s first album and spend the whole drive getting Mitch to tell stories about making it. You were fascinated by all the behind-the-scenes info you were learning, both about making the music, and the shenanigans the group got into. 

You were about to ask your hundredth question when Mitch pulled into a parking lot, and you saw your destination. You had been so wrapped up in the conversation that you forgot how excited you were for the adventure park. You throw your seatbelt off and jump out of the car, impatiently waiting for the other two to join you. 

“Calm down kid,” Mitch states. “The place is open for hours; we’ve got plenty of time to run around and do flips or whatever."

“Oh, come on, where’s your enthusiasm?” You reply.

“I’m a musician, not an athlete.”

“What, scared of making a fool of yourself?” You tease. “Let’s go!” You grab each of their hands and start to practically drag them to the door. You’re so focused you miss the look they share the moment you initiate contact. You didn’t realize that sliding your hand into theirs would give both of them butterflies. 

Once inside, Sarah hands over the tickets she purchased ahead of time. You then place your things in a locker and walk into the main area where you can see all the different activities they have. 

“So, what would you like to do first?” Sarah asks. 

“Can we do rock climbing? I haven’t done that in so long. I used to love it!”

And with that, the three of you spend an afternoon trying out every single thing the park had to offer. Mitch did have one spectacular wipe out on a trampoline which left you and Sarah in tears from laughter, and you all had a wonderful time. 

After getting back in the car, you say, “Thank you so much for bringing me here! I can’t remember the last time I had that much fun.”

“You’re welcome darling, we’re glad you enjoyed yourself,” Sarah replies. 

You all lapse into a comfortable silence, and you stare out the window listening to the radio before the motion of the car lulls you to sleep. 

A few minutes later, Sarah glances back to ask you a question and sees your current state. 

“She’s asleep,” she whispers. 

“Huh?” Mitch replies much louder. 

“Shush! Y/N. She’s knocked out back there.”

Mitch catches a glance at you through the rear-view mirror and a fond smile spreads on his face, matching Sarah’s expression. 

“It really is like having a kid sometimes,” Sarah states.

“What?” Mitch replies through a laugh. 

“Think about it! The billion questions on the way here, her unmatched excitement and energy for slides and rock walls and foam pits, passing out on the way home.”

“Yea, I guess.” Mitch pauses for a moment before asking, “Do you ever think about our decision not to have children?”

“I do, occasionally. And I always realize that we made the right choice for us. But it would be nice to be able to take care of, and even spoil Y/N sometimes. I mean the look of joy when we got back in the car? We made that happen. It’s really nice being there for her. I feel like she needs us in a way. And it’s nice to feel needed.” 

Mitch nods in reply, and they sit quietly, lost in thought for the last 10 minutes of the drive. After parking the car, they glance back at you, still deep asleep. 

“If you open the door, I’ll carry her in. Hopefully she stays asleep, she’s probably exhausted between running around at the adventure park and from crying earlier,” Mitch states before handing Sarah the house keys. 

He gets out, opens your door, and reaches to unbuckle your seatbelt. He leans in, planning to carry you bridal style but, sensing him close in your now half-asleep state, you reach out to wrap your arms around his shoulders. He gently lifts you out of the car and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist before tucking your face into his neck. He carries you to the house, and the swaying motion as he walks puts you back to sleep. He stands for a moment just inside, wondering if he should lay you down in the living room or their bedroom. 

“Put her on the couch,” Sarah says as if reading his mind. “She’s never seen the bedroom before. She might be disoriented if she wakes up there.” 

Mitch nods, holding and rocking you for another couple of minutes before placing you on the couch and laying a blanket on top. He can’t help but lean down and place a kiss to the crown of your head before walking back to meet Sarah in the kitchen. 

She’s placing two cups of tea on the counter and Mitch says, “You’re right.”

“About what exactly?”

“It really does feel nice to take care of her,” he clarifies before leaning in to kiss his wife. They pull back and lock eyes for a moment before he maneuvers them until Sarah is seated on the counter, legs open for Mitch to stand in between and be as close to her as possible. They get lost in the moment and lazily make out, hands running over each other’s arms and backs, fingers sliding through hair. Minutes pass this way before they’re interrupted by a number of text alerts on Mitch’s phone. He glances down and sees they’re from his father, and fearing something had happened to his mom, he immediately opens them. 

He rolls his eyes and shows Sarah the screen, full of pictures of his parents and their friends out on the cabins deck, along with the food they’re grilling for dinner. 

“Is it already dinner time?” Sarah asks, shocked to see it was later in the day than they’d realized. She hops down, takes a sip of her now lukewarm tea, and starts pulling out ingredients to make food.

Mitch and Sarah work together to make salad, roasted potatoes, and salmon. You wake up to the smell of spices, confused for a minute about your whereabouts. After a moment you remember where you are. You realize that you have no memory of getting from the car to the couch, meaning someone had to have carried you inside. The thought gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling.

You walk into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You look up to see Sarah leaning against the counter and you go lean and snuggle against her, feeling extra cuddly as you wake up. Without hesitating, she wraps her arms around you, swaying you both side to side. “How was your nap, baby?” she asks.

“Fantastic,” you mutter in response. You hear the oven open and look over to see Mitch taking the potatoes out. He carries the tray into the dining room, and you slip away from Sarah to follow him. After he places it on the table, you step behind him and wind your arms around his middle. He places his hands on top of yours and you snuggle against him for a moment. You pull back, finally feeling more awake.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Why don’t you grab us all some wine glasses from the kitchen?”

You walk back to the kitchen, Sarah passing you, bringing the final dish of food to the dining room. You look in the cabinets, not remembering exactly where they keep the wine glasses. You finally find them on a top shelf. Knowing you wouldn’t be able to reach them, you hop up to kneel on the countertop.

You’ve already gotten two glasses and set them on the counter, and are reaching for the third when Mitch walks in. He startles you and you jump a little. You don’t really lose your balance, but ever overprotective, he runs over to steady you, grabbing the glass you’re holding in one hand and placing his other on your hip. His fingers wrap firmly around your waist where your shirt had ridden up, sending a shock through your body at the rather intimate touch. You look back at him and notice just how close his face is to yours, and you practically breathe the same air. You’re frozen, tracking his eyes and they move down to glance at your lips before he helps you off the counter. You almost feel guilty about the interaction before you remember you had a similar one with Sarah earlier in the day. What was it with these two and looking at your lips? Did they even realize they did it? Did it actually happen or were you imagining it? Is it possible they felt the same way about you as you did about them?

“Red or white?”

“What?” You finally say, realizing Mitch asked you a question.

“I’ve got plenty of red and white wine. Which would you prefer?”

“Oh! White would be great, thank you.”

“Okay, you bring those in, and I’ll be out there in a second.”

Finally, you’re all seated at the table enjoying your meal together. You start off talking about the outing earlier, sharing what everyone’s favorite part was. You then move on to other lighthearted topics, getting to know more about each other, though most information was still quite surface level.

Once dinner is done you all carry the dirty plates into the kitchen to start cleaning the meal together. At this point you’re all a couple glasses of wine in, and you decide to dig a little deeper. “So,” you start as you take the dishes Sarah hands you to load into the dishwasher. “I opened up about my sad, tragic past during lunch today, it’s someone’s else’s turn to share a deep dark secret with the group.”

Mitch and Sarah glance at each other and you continue, “I mean, not dark. Preferably something happy or funny. Just tell me something I don’t know. A juicy bit of gossip even. I can’t be the only open and vulnerable one today.”

“That’s fair,” Sarah replies. “I know Mitch has some good gossip to share. Oh wait, that’s not under an NDA, is it?”

“I’m pretty sure I know what you’re referring to, and no, technically it’s not. But this story does not leave this room, understood?”

“Absolutely,” you say with a serious look, wildly curious what he’s about to tell you.

“So, when we were in the car talking about the trip to Jamaica to write Harry’s first album, I may have left out one story.” He pauses to take a sip of his wine before continuing. “The first couple days were really productive, so we decided to let loose a bit. We had some drinks, got a little tipsy- “

“A little tipsy?” Sarah interjects.

“Ok, we all got very drunk, whatever. Anyway, most of the group went inside to bed but Harry and I stayed up for one more drink. Next thing I knew he was in my lap, and we were making out. We woke up together the next morning thinking it was a one-time thing but it kind of kept happening, and most of the time alcohol wasn’t even involved. It kind of tapered off once we finished the trip and then I met Sarah and yea.”

“Woah. I honestly did not expect that. That’s so crazy! You’ve kissed Harry Styles! Wow, what was it like? Is he a good kisser? Oh, maybe I should ask him what he thought about your kissing skills!”

You mentally facepalm at letting that last part slip out.

“Do you really want to know?” Sarah asks.

“Oh, duh, I’m an idiot, guess you would be able to answer that,” you say laughing nervously but not denying your curiosity.

“Or you could find out for yourself,” she replies.

Suddenly the whole room is silent. You’re not even sure if anyone is breathing. You and Mitch stare at Sarah and her eyes dart back and forth between you two.

You look over to Mitch and he stares back before shrugging his shoulders and nodding at you.

“Are you two serious?” You question, shocked by the sudden change in atmosphere. You feel like you’re hallucinating, or having an out of body experience, and come to the conclusion that this is all a very vivid dream that you are having. Surely, it’s not real life.

“She’s completely serious,” Mitch replies, taking a minute step closer to you. “And for the record, I am too.” He takes another step, now mere inches away. You’re at a loss for words, simply staring at Mitch as he advances closer to you.

His hand slips up to cup your cheek. “Is this okay?” he asks. You just nod, still unable to remember a single word in the English language. Slowly, as though not to spook you, he leans down, pausing for a moment before softly pressing his lips against yours. It’s one small peck, followed by two more and he pulls away to press one more kiss to the tip of your nose. He slides his hand to rest on the side of your neck and you remain in that moment, fully absorbing what just happened. It’s been years since you’ve been kissed, since you’ve been shown any kind of affection. Earlier that day you thought their hugs had healing powers, but this? This was the most wonderful feeling in the world. You open your eyes to see Mitch smiling at you and you realize you’ve been sporting the widest grin that whole time.

“I have a question for you,” he says.

“Okay,” you timidly reply.

“Have you ever kissed a girl before?”

“Uhm, yea, there were a couple girls in high school.”

“Well, Sarah has never kissed a girl before. How would you like to be her first?”

You turn to look at her, Mitch’s hand falling away, and you see she’s moved closer as well. “If it’s alright with you,” Sarah says, “I would very much like to kiss you as well.”

You once again nod, then finally find words, saying, “I would like that too.”

Her fingertips lightly rest on your shoulders. She leans down and her lips brush against yours before she pulls back.

“It’s okay,” you reassure her.

This time, she firmly presses her lips against yours. It starts off similar to Mitch’s, a chaste peck, but then she takes it further. Her hands slide up, one resting on the side of your neck while the other moves to your cheek in order to tilt your head so she can slot her lips against yours. You place your hand on her hips, resisting the urge to pull her flush against you. She makes the decision for you, stepping closer until her body is pressed against yours. You sigh at the contact, and she uses that moment to slip her tongue between your parted lips to explore your mouth. Mitch watches silently, content to observe two of the women he cares about most enjoy this moment together. He knows what a big deal this is for both of you.

After another minute she pulls away, leaving you with one more peck.

“Was that alright?” she asks as you play with the bottom of her shirt before realizing you’re still holding onto it. You nod, smiling shyly up at her. Mitch places his hand on the small of your back and leans around you to kiss his wife.

“Uhm, what happens now?” You ask, unsure of what exactly this all meant.

“Well,” Mitch says leaning in close. “Now, we can do whatever you want. Or nothing at all. It’s up to you.”

You try to think for a minute, but they’re both still touching you, watching you, and your mind is a jumbled mess. You step out of the embrace and go to the sink to start scrubbing the tray the potatoes had been in. You know they’re both still looking at you, but the physical space allows you to organize your thoughts. Scrubbing the burnt bits off food is oddly soothing to you, and by the time it’s clean your mind is calm.

You turn around to face them again and grab each of their hands. You lean up to give Mitch a kiss before turning and doing the same to Sarah.

“How about we watch a movie?” Sarah suggests. You have a pretty good idea what a movie means. They were handsy enough the previous evening before they had crossed this line and while Mitch’s parents were in the room. You knew a movie now would mean more kissing, more hands on your body, maybe the opportunity to explore their bodies as well. You found yourself hoping that would happen. And terrified at the same time.

You nod and start to follow them out of the room to the rest of the house, until some insecurity seeps in.

“Wait,” you say.

“Is everything alright?” Sarah asks. “Nothing needs to happen if you don’t want to, love.”

“It’s not that, it’s just.” You pause for a second then push through your embarrassment to continue. “I’ve just, never really done anything more than kiss before. So, I don’t have any experience and don’t know what I’m doing and, yea. That’s all.” You keep your head down, not daring to look at them and see their reactions.

Mitch steps directly in front of you, placing his hands on your cheeks and forcing you to look up at him. “We told you earlier that we want to take care of you. And we mean that in every way. Whatever it is you want to do, we’ll teach you.”

“Plus,” Sarah adds. “I’ve never been with a girl before, so this is all new to me too. We’ll be learning together.” You smile at them, and you all make your way upstairs.

You realize you’ve never been in their room before, and walking through the door knowing what might happen has the nerves flooding back. Sarah goes to the TV to turn on a movie (which movie it is you have no idea, you’re so wrapped up in everything else) and Mitch pulls you to sit next to him on the bed. He puts his arms around you, and you lean in against him, feeling calmer in his embrace. Once the movie is playing Sarah turns off the light and climbs in next to you.

For a while, nothing happens. You all just sit cuddled together, hands occasionally traveling over each other’s arms and legs in a way that’s both teasing and comforting. You then feel Mitch move next to you and place a kiss to your head, then the side of your neck, and finally your lips. Your lips move with his, and it sends butterflies not just to your stomach, but your entire body.

At the first brush of his tongue against yours a whimper escapes your lips. You try to pull back, embarrassed at how needy you sound, but Mitch doesn’t let you get far. “Don’t hide, we want to hear you,” he says, voice lower than you’ve ever heard and another wave of desire runs through you. His hand goes to your leg, and he leads you to throw it over his lap, so that you’re straddling him. You hover slightly, too nervous to initiate that kind of contact. Mitch’s large hands wrap around your waist, and he pulls you until you’re fully seated on his lap.

You gasp as you feel his hard length rub against your center, and you tuck your face into his neck, overwhelmed by the new feeling. You feel Sarah run her fingers through your hair and you turn to her. She captures your lips with her own as Mitch encourages you to rock back and forth on his lap. More small noises spill from your mouth, and Mitch joins with a groan as you push down extra hard in reaction to Sarah pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

Sarah’s hands move to the hem of your shirt. She pulls back to look at you, asking with her eyes if she can remove the article of clothing.

“Uhm, could you guys…. first?” You manage to force out, scared to be the first to bare any of your body, especially once you realize by the end of the night, they’ll likely see more of you than anyone ever has.

“Of course, love,” she answers. She and Mitch both move to toss off their shirts, and you take in the sight of all the bare skin in front of you. You place one hand on each of them, running them along their sides, reveling in the feeling beneath your palms. You then reach for Sarah’s hands and place them back on the bottom of your shirt, encouraging her to take it off of you since you wouldn’t have the nerve to do it yourself.

It's thrown on the ground with the other shirts and you feel Mitch’s lip on your collarbone. He maneuvers you until you’re laying on your back and continues to pepper kisses all over your neck and chest. Slowly, piece by piece, everyone’s clothes end up scattered on the floor and you take a moment to admire Mitch and Sarah without any barriers. Never in a million years did you think you would be in this position, and you take a breath to center yourself.

You feel a hand on the inside of each of your thighs, Mitch and Sarah working together to rile you up even more. They slide up further up, one finger brushing against your clit, and you arch into the touch. Mitch notices your reaction and brings his finger back to the same spot, rubbing gently. Sarah brings her hand up to your entrance, slipping one finger inside. You gasp and turn your head, searching for either of them. Mitch notices first and leans in to capture your lips in a messy kiss, helping ground you. They continue to work you up, Sarah angling her finger just right and Mitch rubbing in a way that has you seeing stars in minutes.

The feeling builds and then comes your release. Mitch swallows your whines, and they slow their hands to ease you through it gently.

Never before has anything felt that good, nor has it felt so right.

Sarah tilts your head, stealing you from Mitch before straddling your lap and capturing your lips with her own. You lazily make out for a minute before Mitch says, “Sarah lay down.”

She lays in between you and Mitch, pulling you onto your side next to her as she refuses to stop kissing you.

“Y/N, give me your hand,” Mitch continues, and you do so without hesitation. He moves your fingers to her entrance, and he says, “Start with one.” You again do as he says, sliding one finger inside her and you moan along with Sarah at the feeling. You move your finger back and forth before Mitch tells you to add another.

After you slide in a second finger, Mitch leans down to swipe his tongue against her clit. Now it’s your turn to work together with Mitch, and you do so until Sarah is falling apart, clenching around your finger. She pulls away after a few small pecks, and you pull out of her.

She catches her breath for a moment, then sits up, turning to Mitch. For the first time that evening, you fully focus on his hard length and your anxiety comes back. This is completely new territory to you, and curiosity mixes with the fear. You watch as Sarah wraps her hand around him.

She looks up and catches you watching intently. She holds your hand, pulling it close to him but not quite touching him giving you the option to pull away. But you don’t want to pull away. Instead, you hesitantly wrap your fingers around him, pumping your hand up and down a couple of times the way Sarah had. You’re surprised by the feeling, and validated by the deep groans Mitch lets out. You continue to move your hand, listening to Sarah when she instructs you to change pace, or twist your wrist. After a few minutes his breathing comes out in pants, and he grips your shoulder as he releases on your hand.

Sarah climbs out of bed for a moment and comes back with damp washcloths, cleaning everyone off. Mitch walks over to his dresser, grabbing 3 pairs of boxers and 2 t-shirts. You’re grateful, as you had started to feel a bit exposed. After getting dressed, Mitch and Sarah slide in bed on either side of you, turning so they can both look at you.

“How do you feel?” Sarah asks.

“Wonderful,” you reply immediately.

“No regrets?”

“Absolutely not.”

You kiss each of them before laying on your back, allowing them to curl around you. You fall asleep feeling content, sated, and truly cared for.

You wake up Sunday morning in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, with a body on either side of you. There’s a brief moment of panic before the memories of the previous night rush back. You smile thinking of how wonderfully they treated you, how gentle they were, how amazing they made you feel.

Sarah and Mitch are both asleep, still wrapped around you, and you gently run your fingers along their arms. You cannot believe how incredibly lucky you feel in this moment. A month ago, you had practically no one, and now you’ve found two people who have taken you in, welcomed you not only to their family but their relationship as well. You don’t know if this is a one-time event or if it will continue, but you do know that Mitch and Sarah will always be there for you in some capacity.

Mitch wakes up next, Sarah following a few minutes later. You all spend time sharing lazy kisses, in no rush to get out of the cozy bed. Finally, you’re interrupted by the sound of a stomach grumbling. You glance at the clock and see it’s after 10 A.M.

“Let’s go out for breakfast,” Sarah suggests, and you all agree.

The diner you end up at is adorable, a quintessential small-town eatery. You are sat at a small round booth, and Mitch and Sarah make sure that you are seated in between them, allowing them to place their hands on either of your thighs. You feel like you’re going to explode any minute. Or simply die.

They keep the conversation light and casual, paying no attention to the fact that they’re driving you crazy simply by adjusting their hands every now and then. The waitress comes to take your order and breathe a sigh of relief when they are no longer touching you beneath the table. As lovely as the physical contact is, it’s starting to drive you wild and you need to keep your cool, especially in public.

After ordering the conversation once again turns to music.

“Have you guys been playing much since you’ve been here? I saw some guitars at the house but haven’t exactly seen any drums.”

“There’s a studio in town that we’ve been going to a couple times a week,” Sarah answers. “If you want, we can go there after this.”

“Seriously? Of course I want to! I’ve never seen you guys play up close. I was so far away at the concert I went to, Harry was just this glittery speck running around.”

“You know, I don’t think you ever told us which of Harry’s songs is your favorite.”

“Oh, probably because it’s impossible to choose one? But I mean, Fine Line is an absolute masterpiece. Like, I need to hear that live once in my life or I cannot die happy.”

“Wow, that’s quite a review,” Mitch replies.

The waitress returns with your food, and Mitch and Sarah turn the conversation to you, asking you a million question about yourself that you answer through bites of eggs and bacon.

After brunch, you go to the studio and once inside you immediately ask Sarah to play Satellite.

“Everyone always posts videos of Harry doing the ‘Satellite Stomps’ but never of you playing that part and I think the drum there is so cool.”

You watch Mitch and Sarah, eventually picking up a guitar and playing along once Mitch tells you what chords to do. You’re grateful for the time you spent looking up YouTube videos in middle school that gave you a basic understanding of the instrument.

“Would you like to learn one of the songs on drums?” Sarah asks.

“Of course I would! I’ve literally never touched drums before.”

“Okay, well let’s start with Woman. It’s got a pretty constant beat so it’s a good beginner song.” You watch Sarah play through the song once, mesmerized by the way she holds herself as she plays.

After she finishes, she gets up and hands you the drumsticks. You sit down, excited and nervous to learn something new. Sarah teaches you about all the different parts of the drum set, and how to get the clearest sounds. They play Woman in the background, and she leads your hands through the right movements as you play along. You’ve never had so much fun learning a new skill before. You spend a couple hours at the studio, learning from two absolute masters.

Afterwards you go back to the house and sit in the living room with tea courtesy of Sarah. You’re not sure exactly who initiates it, but you find yourself once again in between Mitch and Sarah, trading kisses with both as hands roam across each other’s bodies.

You all break apart when the door suddenly opens. Mitch’s parents walk into the living room a minute later carrying their bags and you guys great them as casually as you can. They sit down and talk about their weekend up at the cabin, and you fill them in on the adventure park and time spent at the studio.

When the conversation turns to dinner you realize how late in the day it is.

“I should probably be heading home soon,” you say standing from the couch.

“I’ll help you with your things,” Sarah replies. She and Mitch follow you upstairs, closing the bedroom door behind them.

“I only have one bag, I think I can manage,” you say with a laugh.

“I know,” Sarah replies, stepping closer to you. “I just thought it might be best to say good-bye up here.” She cups your face in her hand and leans in to kiss you. After she pulls back you feel Mitch step in front of you to do the same. “We should probably hang at your apartment in the future if we want privacy,” he says.

You smile, elated to hear that this wasn’t a one-time thing. You might not understand exactly what they see in you, or why they would bring you so fully into their relationship, but you’re so glad they have.

They walk you out to your car, each giving you a tight hug and a kiss to the forehead before allowing you to drive away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I would love to know what you think and if there are any requests for scenarios in this story!

Taglist:@akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog

[mastermindmp3]

Guilty as Sin? addresses the idea of emotional cheating, about longing for someone outside their current relationship. The speaker describes being in bored in her relationship, and fantasizing about a guy that she is texting* while her lover likely does the same**.

*In my romantic pirate heart, they're pen pals paramours as opposed to texting troublemakers. He "sent" her Downtown Lights, which could easily be read as being sent a streaming link, but I want to believe he sent her a burned tape. **As I've previously said, The Tortured Poets Department is an album in conversation with itself. The mutual emotional infidelity is only really implied by the speaker's questioning her right to be upset within Guilty as Sin? but is made clearer in other places throughout the album. Whether you allow other songs to affect your reading of the song is wholly up to you..

Diversion aside, I think the song touches on this theme very well, and I trust my fellow Department members will provide insights on the song's preferred reading in today's meeting.

In the reception theory of reader responses, a preferred reading is the audience understanding and agreeing with the author's (or producer, or lyricist, etc. ) intended vision for their media. Reception theory also says that readers can take oppositional and negotiated readings. Oppositional readings reject the author's stance entirely, while a negotiated reading may agree in part or whole, but still have their own "take" on the media.

Guilty as Sin? is intended to be about emotional infidelity. For the past few days, I have been analyzing the songs through their preferred reading. Today, I would like to destroy all of that, and present to you my Oppositional Reading of Guilty as Sin?

I know, very well, that the reading I am about to present is not Swift's intent, and indeed, I may be a koi swimming against the river's current. This post is not meant to be me saying that the song is my reading. I am within opposition to the text.

(I guess that technically makes this a negotiated reading? semantics—)

I am about to commit the cardinal sin of reading queer themes into a straight author's work. Crucify me if you please, but do so with the context that I acknowledged that this reading is not "canonical," to continue being biblical about it.

To reiterate, because this is the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" website. I do not believe that my reading is the intended reading of Guilty as Sin?

So:

When reading queer themes into straight work, I feel it is impossible to not draw from personal experience. This post is about Guilty as Sin? but it is also about me. It is about what growing up queer in the rural American southeast is like. It's hard to detangle those things.

I present to the department: A case for Guilty as Sin? as a song of queer longing. Half analysis, half personal essay.

On the surface, I feel this reading can be very simple. When the whole refrain is how can I be guilty as sin? and hegemonic Christian society deems queer love, queer living as sinful, the connection doesn't feel like that hard of a jump. The song travels through its religious theming, through the shame, through hushing yourself with the idea that thoughts don't count. The speaker works through those pains and repressions, so that she can come to the revelation:

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

What initially got me thinking about this song in a gay way was one of the opening lyrics. ( Well, no, what initially got me thinking this was listening to it as I was writing fiction, but hush. )

This cage was once just fine.

As a bisexual woman, there was once a time where I really, truly, thought to myself that I would never come out. It was fine, to be honest. I still like men, so I just had to pray that my one big love was a man. That way, I could protect myself from my family’s imagined negative reactions. I don't think this is a unique experience, either. Particularly in the south, we hold ourselves in for the comfort of others, and our own safety.

I cannot speak for everyone, but I feel like that fear of rejection is common amongst the people I know. It leads to caging our feelings; locking bits of ourselves away from those who once knew us so closely, in order to preserve their original vision of us. As perfect, straight sons and daughters, as kids who would grow into the molds set forth. And for a while, we can hold together like this, the cage is fine. 

But parrots pluck their feathers when kept under lock and key, and so too do we. 

I dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks.

Doesn't it feel like that? The first time you consider telling a parent, or any loved one, that you're not what they imagined. Like you could be dashing your chances at life. The image brings to mind that of suicide, of a “I can no longer live like this.” People thrown to the rocks do not survive impact, and often are disfigured, beyond recognition. It's such a visceral image for a song filled with longing. 

This song is textually about emotional infidelity, obviously, but I think it can also be about the longing we hold for the "unallowed." How we can both feel such beautiful love and hideous shame about the same thoughts. Repression is a funny thing, to smother the want can only make it come back harder, stronger.

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyways.

I said that the Christian imagery is part of what made me think of the song as queer, and I stand by it. A lot of queer art deals with the trauma of religion; the idea of being guilty for the way you simply are, for the way you feel, naturally, drives one to consider the opposite. What if our way of being is holy. I'm particularly brought to mind Fipsi Seilern’s Portrait of Virgin Xtravaganzah (and the portraiture's subject - Virgin X - by extension.)

The connection is not hard to make; masturbation, the song’s main premise, is seen as sinful, as is infidelity. And so, too, is being gay. They are shamed the same way in conservative Christian society, as if they are of the same level.

In a way, it's very Christian of me to take a religiously charged song about emotional infidelity and make it about same gender attraction. On the level of infractions to the Christian hegemony, same gender attraction may be worse, truly, than infidelity. That to touch another man or another woman is worse of a crime, than to betray the trust of your opposite gendered partner.

Y'know, as a kid, I used to get nosebleeds every time I entered my family's church. It was high in the mountains of Tennessee, and I was prone to them anyways. It was my first experience with the hemming and hawing of Christian southern women, tsk'ing at me. I think we stopped going when I was like, ten, partially because of it.

And I look back now, and think about all these things I have learned since then. The pain that Christian dogmatism, that bigotry has caused, to me and the communities I love so dearly. Still causes, in the name of saving our souls, or more likely, extermination.

And think about bleeding every time I crossed the threshold into holy ground.

Does that make us all guilty as sin?

Nah. Any guilt we feel is only a consequence of the spoon fed hatred, and certainly no fault of our own.

( It is interesting, that this reading absolves the narrator of the song, where the original text is more ambiguous as to the level of infraction that the Speaker has committed. The answer to "How can I be guilty as sin?" here is more clear, especially to this specific audience. Swift's modern demographics trend towards young, leftist, and AFAB. Additionally, there's probably a whole essay in that idea itself, how queer people are treated with the same ostracism as adulterers. Going further, why are these "sins," a state of being and a social infraction, grouped with far greater transgressions in the Christian consciousness. Were I not a Biology student, that idea alone would be an excellent thesis topic. )

A defense of the idea of Queering Straight Songs:

When my family drove up the mountain to church, I listened to my Fearless disc on a pink Sony brand CD player in the back seat. How often are our first imaginings of queer love to straight media? Through characters or through idealized versions of us or through the music we're allowed, we find ways to feel queer love like sidewalk dandelions. Some call them weeds, but we all know they're flowers, beautiful and beloved, capable of coming back year after year.

We live in an age where queer stories and queer art are so visible, where we can look at Queering the Map and see all the places we are. And will continue to be. And have always been.

I think, in a way, claiming this song about straight infidelity as queer longing is almost a full circle moment, for me. In a time where queer liberties are at risk, we are still so loud and visible. It's nice, in a way, that I don't have to do this.

There are so many wonderful songs about this same longing, about locking your feelings up and bottling them away, by queer artists, even in this same genre. I don't have to stretch to see myself in these songs. They're radio play, they're opening Coachella.

( Also, protect small queer art. Protect bad queer art, too, while we're at it. We are so lucky that so much of queer lives are available at our fingertips, but without archival and protection, it can also be lost. )

I wouldn't say queer people are braver than we've ever been - that's a disservice to the people before us. We have ages of proof that this music, this art, has existed, and repressing it cannot stop it. We aren't any braver than our ancestors, just more widely seen, and more widely heard. Queer music, thanks to the internet, and thanks to wide, social pressure, is louder than ever.

But that doesn't mean we still can't queer the straight music we love too. This entire post (essay, can I call it an essay?) is about reception theory and seeing yourself in the other's work. It's a time honored tradition to make a song about yourself, to make it gay - I played Lover on violin at a lesbian couple's wedding, and my uncles danced at their wedding to Endless Love by Diana Ross.

I leave you with a final story, based on my favorite lyric.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

This line, in particular, made me feel many things, a rush of nostalgia and warmth. I've claimed many celebrities to be my bi awakening, but the first time I remember being attracted to a girl was at the Speak Now tour. She was a bit older than me, maybe 14, and sat across the aisle. Mid-show, she helped me write my favorite lyrics on my arm in the pitch black of Bridgestone Arena. I had seen the lyrics on Taylor's arm and got so excited about the idea, but my mother didn't have a sharpie. She did. In sort of loopy handwriting, she put, "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" down my right arm.

With purple glitter glinting off tanned, grinning cheeks, with her Speak Now glowstick hovering over my arm, I don't remember her name, or even if I asked for it. But she was so kind, crinkling eyes black as obsidian, twinkling the stage lights in their reflection, and made me realize exactly why that lyric resonated with me so deeply. How it was what I wanted to be in the future.

And I could see my future with her, or him, or them. And it is impossible to untangle Swift's music from that.

It's all empathy, all the way down. The kind of empathy that, I am not sorry to be corny and say it, Taylor Swift's music begs you to have. To take these songs that are very much written from her perspective, and see our own experiences mirrored through them, that's what her music asks. To see that we are not all that different, and to connect. How rare and mundane human connection, how we rip out our souls to achieve it. Swift's talked about it extensively, the catharsis of spilling ink, putting pen to paper and voice to recording all in effort to be seen.

I think that's the big motif: I feel seen by Guilty as Sin?, I felt seen back then listening to these CDs. That's the sorcery of storytelling. As an adult, who is so comfortable in her bisexuality that I flaunt it, I still like to do these oppositional readings, to see myself in songs not made about me.

And that's why Guilty as Sin? is, to me, a queer longing kind of song. Even if it isn't.

[taylortruther]

Yk with the added context of the Matty-Taylor relationship timeline, I was compelled to go back and reconsider certain songs from her discography and see them differently. Obviously we have The 1, Cardigan, Question..?, Glitch etc but what about the 1989 vault?

I have a strong belief that Taylor re-touches, if not fully edits the vault tracks before the album releases (as evidenced by the punchline lyric on ATW10MV).

Ofc, we don't know for sure, but in Now That We Don't Talk there's that line about the muse "growing his hair long" and Harry hadn't done that till late 2014 (atleast to a noticeable extent) so I felt that maybe that song was written later on.

Anyways, listening to TTPD got me thinking some thoughts. Like Taylor is very deliberate with her word usage on the songs. In Down Bad, the lyric "How dare you say that it's..." is supposed to be auto-filled with the word "over". This instantly made me think of Is It Over Now?

Was "Slut!" about Matty too? I mean if the rumours of a 1975 feature on that song were true, then obviously it has a connection to them? Also, I've always felt it was weird to have that song be about Harry for so many reasons, but whatever.

I mean ofc there's glaring references to Harry on the album, but by now we know that Taylor likes to merge her muses for a single song. She even liked a Tumblr post back in 2015 that related STYLE of all songs to Matty. Not a joke. Twitter recently rediscovered it and went nuts over it.

I feel like many songs we attributed to Harry over the years was just about Matty. I mean it always bothered me how much Taylor seemed to be affected by a 2 month situationship with an 18 year old all the way back in 2012. I mean she never brought up Kennedy or Lautner or Tom like she did with Harry in her later works....now we know that it was most likely Matty.

One part of me believes that So It Goes was also bout him. I mean "you did a number on me" means to mess someone up in a bad way, and I have no idea why she would put that lyric in there otherwise.

Also Ivy and Illicit Affairs were widely regarded to be about the Calvin-Tom-Joe situation...but in retrospect they might've been about Matty. These might sound like mindless rumours to most, but keep in mind that Guilty As Sin and Fresh Out The Slammer exist. Both Ivy and Illicit Affairs were fictional songs, but they expressed her inner feelings (swirled you into all my poems). Again, just theorizing here.

i guess he could be ~swirled~ into a few songs from 1989 tv (anything is possible! we didn't know the full story until the red vault! disclaimer!), but mostly i think what you are picking up on is that... taylor has a pattern in her relationships. and she has stories she tells herself about relationships, or herself, just like we all do, which create songs that share many themes.

like, obviously i don't know taylor, and i could be wrong about anything i write about her lyrics. but while ivy could be about matty (anything is possible!), i think it makes more sense that she has, on a few different occasions, left a dying relationships only after another person she liked came into her orbit. and this isn't even uncommon. lots of people only leave relationships when they have someone in the wings, or they've met someone who makes them realize the grass might be greener.

[edwinspaynes]

evermore songs as tlh characters/ships

I saw someone do this for Folklore and Evermore's my favourite album, so...

sorry nbnc isn't included i just had no idea what to do with it lol

willow -> thomas @ alastair

Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars Now this is an open-shut case Guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait and switch was a work of art

champagne problems -> james @ cordelia + matthew

[He'll] patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

gold rush -> matthew

What must it be like To grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes My mind turns your life into folklore I can't dare to dream about you anymore At dinner parties Won't call you out on your contrarian shit And the coastal town We never found will never See a love as pure as it

tis the damn season -> anna @ ari

Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin' And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own

tolerate it -> alastair @ charles

honestly this one is too fitting it was so hard to choose a quote but--

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listen, I polish plates until they gleam and glisten You're so much older and wiser and I...

happiness -> matthew @ cordelia

After giving you the best I had Tell me what to give after that All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness You haven't met the new me yet And I think [he'll] give you that

dorothea -> ari @ anna

It's never too late To come back to my side The stars in your eyes Shined brighter in Tupelo And if you're ever tired of being known For who you know You know, you'll always know me

coney island -> james @ cordelia

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you? And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?" The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

ivy -> alastair @ thomas while in paris

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you

cowboy like me -> ari @ anna

And the skeletons in both our closets Plotted hard to mess this up And the old men that I've swindled Really did believe I was the one And the ladies lunching have their stories about When you passed through town But that was all before I locked it down

long story short -> matthew

I always felt I must look better in the rear view Missing me At the golden gates they once held the keys to When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us This time, I'm ready

marjorie -> grace @ christopher (😭)

I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me Watched as you signed your name Marjorie All your closets of backlogged dreams And how you left them all to me

closure -> alastair @ charles after the end of chog

Yes, I got your letter Yes, I'm doing better It cut deep to know ya Right to the bone Yes, I got your letter Yes, I'm doing better I know that it's over I don't need your closure

evermore -> cordelia @ james

And I was catching my breath Floors of a cabin creaking under my step And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn't be for Evermore

right where you left me -> grace

I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

it's time to go -> matthew at the end of chot

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing Sometimes to run is the brave thing Sometimes walking out is the one thing That will find you the right thing That will find you the right thing And you know in your soul And you know in your soul When it's time to go

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Guess who! Writing emoji asks game time!!

😈 🎶 🤩 👀

and most importantly…. 🥰

If you could like to answer!

My Darling, <3 See them under the cut <3

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Recently? No. Have I thought about it? Absolutely I have....with some in particular. I've definitely done it in the past as well. So...might be something that happens in the future.

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

You know the answer here; Yes I absolutely do. I have multiple character playlists and they change frequently. The song I've been playing on a loop lately....and do not come for me I enjoy her music...has to be the new Taylor Swift album Tortured Poets Department....a couple of songs on a loop here, but specifically "My Boy Always Breaks His Favourite Toys", "The Smallest Man Whoever Lived" and "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart". "All Too Well" from the Red album is also on a loop; I enjoyed it immensely previously, and now that it's also a part of the new Ryan movie it makes my heart happy

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

My favourite character to write.....god this changes DAILY because I write very mood driven; so it truly depends on how I feel. Pretty consistently I rotate between Driver, Six, and Holland but they're all very different and my favourites for different reasons. Today, Driver is in the lead xD

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

An upcoming WIP......oof....I have SO many. All of which you are privy too....currently I've got a Driver x Reader on the go, a Driver x Lars collab ;) three different Six x reader and so many other ideas my brain is overloaded

🥰How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I LOVE reader interaction; although it gives me mad anxiety putting something out into the universe I love hearing when people enjoy it. (Or don't because I'm open to that too) Send me all the questions your little heart desires <3

[music-my-beloved]

Please Please Me: A 16yo's (horrible) album review

I Saw Her Standing There 🧍: She was just 17 apparently! Honestly I reallyyyy like the song !! She's electric and vibrant. Uber catchy and is kinda adorbs ! I'm not 17 but I shall imagine that this song captures what it's like to be 17 in some way, shape, or form ( hopefully, maybe not idk ).

Misery 💧: uh, babe it's giving break up !!! If I made a song like this all I'd hear is "God stop wallowing in self pity and get yourself back up there !!" But sometimes people need a little time to rot in their feels and I think this song is great for that !!! It's not super catchy but overall I didn't hate it. Music doesn't need to be catchy to be good >:3

Anna (Go To Him) 💍: I LOVE ITTTTTT. Man, Anna's a meanie girl ! What she did was dirttyyyyyy 😭😭 but good on the guy for letting her go and be happy even tho he couldn't be,,,, it was so sweet !! Uh anyway yeah this song is so good. I love how longing and sad it sounds. It's like if Misery and I Saw Her Standing There had a baby. It totally fits the 60's I can see it playing at a dinner or something !! Also, Anna girl, give that ring back !! 😭

Chains ⛓️: Honestly I can see myself liking this song in the future (two or three weeks from now) and it's honestly a really unique take on love that I really like. His girl's got him chained down with the chains of love !!! Not in an oppressive and controlling way but she's got him locked in !!! He loves her so much, they're connected 😣

Boys 🤷: Erm. Gay Anthem?? Don't know what to think about this one I really don't know 😭😭 talks about 'em all the time I guess??

Ask Me Why ❓: It's so cute !! I can also see this one being played at an old diner. The do-wop sound is like, addictive and supperrrr catchy. Really like this song. Kinda reminds me of A World Without Love by Peter and Gordon !!

Please Please Me 🫵: Honestly kinda forgot about her ?? After the first listen it was like I just had a fever dream. But also that might have been because I was in the car with my parents talking and I could hear them through my headphones so idk you tell me :/ but now that I've relistened to the album while writing the reviews I love this one!

Love Me Do ❤️: Don't really jive with this one :/ it's not a bad sing but it just wasn't my cup of tea !! I feel bad saying that 'cause I don't wanna be the typical teen that "only listens to catchy, simple songs" but this one just wasn't there for me the way Please Please Me and Anna were 😭😭

P.S. I Love You 💌: ITS SO CUTTTEEEEE !!!!! Was this song a precursor to All My Loving like, directly ??? If it wasn't I probably look stupid saying that but whatevs. This song is like, old and faded is a really lovely way like,,, who writes letters anymore, it's so romantic!!! The simple guitar is like, really bleeding through to me for some reason idk good job George !!!

Baby It's You 💕: 60s came through with this one. She is PUNGENT. It's giving Runaround Sue !! This one just feels like a classic.

Do You Want To Know A Secret 🫠: Elementary school yard ramped up!!! I can almost hear the children playing and yelling in the background it's so cutesy. Overall a pretty good track. Wouldn't mind hearing it again !!

A Taste of Honey 🍯: Reminds me of a song i'd hear in Rango.. hmm. I don't like this song as much as I feel I should?? Didn't quite give with me, it's just another track I guess (idk this review felt mean 😭😭)

There's a Place 🏩: Its like an amalgamation of all of the songs in the album. I'm hearing baby it's you, please please me, and literally everything else idk it's so strange

Twist and Shout 🌀: This song is iconic. There's nothing I cans at that will add or take anything away. Might be a bit overrated idk it's just me . But it's uber high energy and I like it !!

More Reviews Later, Next Up: With The Beatles ..

[cboffshore]

*Chubbyemu voice* GLOOM DIVISION drops in four days. Here's what that's going to do to my Ninjago brain.

(IDKHOWers who see this: this ain't gonna make a LICK of sense to you. This one is for the Ninjago fans who know me already.)

TLDR: if you liked the Nadakhan analysis Fall Out Boy playlist I made, buckle up. It's about to get weirder, and I'm bringing a different band into the mix.

I'll keep this short. When IDKHOW dropped "INFATUATION" a few weeks (or should I say Weekes?) ago, a friend of mine in NWOD and I determined that it was practically a perfect Nadakhan song in every way. I'm not getting into that here, and honestly I may never, because that track is STUPID straightforward. Have a listen, maybe check out their social media posts on it, then come back and tell me I'm wrong:

Anyway, I'm giving "INFATUATION" a solid nine out of ten on the Is This A Nadakhan Song scale. I said practically perfect - there's room for improvement. Not a lot of space, but I have to give the other songs a fighting chance to make this worth it.

Obviously, I want to appreciate this album on its own first and foremost. That being said, since I'm on a self-imposed writing break, I do want to keep my Ninjago brain running. For that reason, the bonus game I'll play when GLOOM DIVISION drops for real is: are any other tracks a better fit for Nadakhan?

Here are my title-based predictions for the entire tracklist, with a side of advance review info from this article where necessary. Minor spoilers.

DOWNSIDE: Not sure how to feel about this one. Rumor has it it's done in a deeper register than normal, though, so that could be good for something.

GLOOMTOWN BRATS: Nope. I've already got this on my OSSAS playlist, it's clocked as a Nya song IMO.

INFATUATION: our baseline. If no other track hits the mark, this one will do just fine.

WHAT LOVE?: Also a nope. We've had this for months, and while there are certainly shades, I'm inclined to throw this at Jay instead, especially within the context of Skybound.

SPKOTHDVL: I'm pretty confident about this one, even if it's just tonally - the band teased this one as "SLEAZY GUITAR RIFFTOWN", and Cheeto bastard is nothing if not distilled sleaze.

SIXFT: The advance review article mentions this one is similar to IDKHOW'S other classic creepy tracks "Mx. Sinister" and "From The Gallows", which is VERY promising! Also, this one has been teased as "30s + 00s GARAGE ROCK", and we love a good genre blend when it comes to Nadakhan musical analysis.

FIND ME: Something about this title has me very confident in it. Can't say why, but the vibes work.

KISS & TELL: See above.

A LETTER: Hard no... for now. This song already exists, and while you COULD probably get it there through intense mental gymnastics, that's not the priority of the song. We'll let this one stay a happy fandom tradition until I inevitably get the itch to do something to it.

SATANIC PANIC: Hmmm. Name suggests mass hysteria and succumbing to influence; advance review calls the vocals "almost whispered" and notes that the track seems screamable at concerts and has a brass-and-bass intro. Sounds bombastic! I'm going to say this one's got a decent chance at beating "INFATUATION".

SUNNYSIDE: Another nope for now - what the article has to say makes me think this is better suited for Jay.

IDIOTS OF Oz: Seems cynical and mysterious, but the vibes are off. I guess we'll see!

[betweenthings2]

idk if ur still doing them but 21 from the cuddle prompts? :)

Thank you for the ask!! The cuddle prompts are linked here, but I think I've filled most of them and have a few more in my inbox, so here is a similar list of physical intimacy prompts.

Cuddle prompt 21. “Do you want me to hold you closer?” “No that’s not it, ugh—I just want to curl up inside you. Is that weird?”

Matty has been fidgety and moody all afternoon. He and George have been holed up in their home studio for the better part of the day, and the morning had been productive, but Matty has gotten restless and moody as the afternoon has pressed on. Eventually, he closes his laptop a little too roughly and sets his guitar aside with little care, then leaves. George glances up and watches him go, but neither of them say anything; Matty doesn't tend to be very receptive to suggestions when he gets like this.

Matty returns a while later, less fidgety but still moody. He sits back down in the same spot on the floor, but he doesn't pull his guitar back into his lap. Instead, he pulls his knees up to his chest and watches George work. When he realizes Matty has given up on working on anything, George offers him a small smile. Matty offers a kind of sad smile in response, but he doesn't move or say anything.

When George finds a good stopping point, he shuts his own laptop and goes to sit down next to Matty, who immediately leans heavily against him. "Alright?" George asks.

Matty gives a half shrug, still quiet.

George wraps an arm around Matty's shoulders and tries, "Wanna talk about it?"

Matty shakes his head. "Just feel outta sorts," he says.

"Ok," George agrees, voice quiet.

Matty is quiet for a while, then says, "You can go back to what you were doing."

"It's not that important."

"You should," Matty insists quietly. "I'm not feeling very, uh, nice right now. I'm gonna snap at you if we both stay here." He pauses, then, "Can I just sit here and listen to whatever you're working on? Is that ok?"

George nods, saying, "Sure it is," then gets to his feet and goes back to his laptop. He unplugs his headphones and goes back to what he'd been working on.

Matty lets himself zone out a bit, absently listening to the track George is working on. He has no idea who's project it is, he just knows it's not a 1975 track--Matty is supposed to be writing the next 1975 album and instead he's sitting on the floor being miserable. Matty isn't sure how long he sits there, listening absently. Eventually, though, he finds George knelt in front of him saying something.

"What?"

"I'm done for today," George repeats. "How are you?"

Matty shrugs. "Less snappy," he decides.

"That counts for something, yeah?" George offers.

Matty nods. "I guess."

"C'mon," George says, tugging Matty to his feet. "Should I cook or do you want takeaway?"

Matty shrugs again. "Dunno. I just," he takes a deep breath, "I don't know. I'm not really hungry. I feel like there's static in my head."

"Oh, love," George murmurs, tucking a wayward curl behind Matty's ear.

"Can we lay down? Just for a little while?" Matty asks.

George nods and follows Matty to their bedroom, where he immediately strips down to his boxers and climbs into bed and George follows suit. Matty moves to get as close as he can to George and relaxes a bit, comfortable in the contact. He stays quiet for a while, listening to the even beat of George's heart, feeling the steady motion of George's fingers tracing shapes on his back. It's good. It's really good and Matty feels better than he has all day.

It's good, but it's not enough. Matty shifts, trying to get closer and George wraps his arm a little tighter around Matty's body. He stills for a few moments, then moves again, trying yet again to get closer, not minding the fact that they're already pressed close together, skin to skin.

"D'ya want me to hold you closer?" George asks quietly once he gets tired of Matty's continued movement.

"No, that's not it," Matty mumbles. "We're already close. I just, ugh, I just want to curl up inside you. Is that weird? I just want to feel," a pause, "still. Quiet."

"'m sorry, love," George murmurs. Usually, he has at least and idea about how to help Matty when he feels Bad, but in this particular instance, he has no idea what to do, other than do his best to offer comfort. He's pretty sure Matty doesn't really know what will help, either, still he asks, "Can I do anything?"

Matty offers a half shrug, and says, "Don't think you can do more than you already are. Just takes time."

"You have as much time as you need," George promises. "And you have me here as long as you want."

[mdverse]

teehee you told me to drop by so i'm asking the most important question of them all.... of the main new directions who do they bias in bts and how much do they like bts 🤭

hi u are so real for this sorry this has taken me a while to get to!! been trying to organise my thoughts but i'm still not fully set on things. i guess ill do this from like. most to least likely to enjoy bts? (also i will say i have thoughts on the vb au squad specifically! i don't remember them in detail and they're probably similar to what i've written here but i def remember talking about it with mist)

tina: 100% most likely to be an army also def a once and a sone but that's not relelvant here! girlie has taste and i love that for her <3 she has jimin stan energy to me, i think she'd see the similarities between him and mike and she'd have a major soft spot for that

sugar: not technically one of the main new directions but i wanted to include her anyway bc i bet she loves bts. she has that vibe. she'd have all the merch and could very easily spend hundreds of dollars on concert tickets for herself and tina and anyone else who wanted to come. idk how she'd feel about the older eras but she'd def be a fan of the more poppy songs (maybe hyyh-onwards? def enjoys the LY/MOTS eras). probably a big vocal line fan, specifically jin and possibly jungkook as a bias wrecker

brittany: i think she'd enjoy bts a lot tbh! idk if she'd dive deep into fan theories or keep up with stuff like run bts but she'd def vibe with their music and i would kill to see her do the dance challenges or even full dance covers. i'd say she's hobi-biased but also just a big fan of 3J/sunshine line

blaine: i think he'd enjoy their more recent eras! mainly LY/MOTS-onwards i think? he has boy with luv/dynamite vibes. major jungkook stan in my head but i think he would really enjoy joon's lyrics/writing style

mike: def introduced to bts through tina dkfjgh but i think he'd get sucked in by the dance practices and the live performances even if the music itself isn't necessarily stuff he'd listen to! probably a 3J stan, if i had to pick one i'd very hesitantly say jimin

santana: idk if she'd listen to them regularly but. i do think she'd vibe a lot with agust d's albums? and i also think she'd find mono and indigo really soothing. epiphany would alter her brain chemistry and no one can tell me otherwise! i know for a fact that she would cry at that song. namgi fan

quinn: casual bts listener i think? def a joon stan tho i don't make the rules here!! i do also think she'd enjoy jin's voice a lot

artie: i feel like bts would be a guilty pleasure for him? idk if he'd be super invested but he would enjoy some of their music and he would def have an appreciation for the mvs! musically i'd say he enjoys tae the most but he def thinks jimin is ridiculously pretty

sam: hmmm sam is one i feel much less familiar with. mist said u guys have talked about blamtina being armys together and i can kinda see that? he does also kinda seem like he'd consider them a guilty pleasure to me tho. jin or jungkook stan energy

mercedes: secondhand fan through tina! idk if she'd listen to them on her own but if tina is around she doesn't mind listening to them. there's bound to be at least one song that hits hard for her but idk what it is rn. i think she'd appreciate tae's voice the most?

kurt: also introduced to them through tina! idk if i see him being much of a kpop fan but i do think he'd appreciate the aesthetics and the artistry of it all. i think he'd like jungkook bc he gets blaine vibes from kookie? alternatively there's sth about him that makes me think jimin stan

puck: bts doesn't really have much rock music so i guess puck wouldn't be super interested in most of it but i feel like there are probably a few songs he might enjoy just vibe-wise? maybe stuff like stigma, house of cards? i also inexplicably get a hip hop fan vibe from him despite that not being a thing in canon so i could potentially see him vibing with their earlier eras and stuff like the cyphers and being biased towards the rap line? but i'm not very set on that

finn: doesn't strike me as much of a kpop fan tbh but i think there are a couple of songs here and there he might like (fake love rocking mix!). idk if he'd actually ever remember any of their names tho kdfjgh he'd probably pick a different bias every time he's asked bc he never pays enough attention to recognise any of them

rachel: does not have kpop fan vibes to me at all but i find it hard to read her so i could be wrong there? idk i don't think she'd really listen to their music since she is so showtunes to me. that being said i think if she had to pick a fav it would be jungkook if only bc of the gold star/golden maknae association

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

I debated on this ask but decided to go for it. I have what may seem like an odd question but feel like you're probably the most sober minded about stuff like this because you've been in Kpop spaces a long time, aren't a Jimin bias, and have a much better understanding of how the big three and Hybe move. So I know you said in one of your previous posts that anyone thinking Hybe would purposely sabotage their own artist and choose to lose money is basically being an idiot (or something to that effect) I was inclined to agree except I can't think of another reason why things that may seem minor to some really do keep happening to Jimin.

His profile and merch not on Spotify.

His albums still not being shipped to Chinese fans after all this time.

Face not being restocked on the store.

Articles about an irrelevant racist shading Jimin and Yoongi actually posted on Weverse by the critic who was practically salivating over a Like Crazy freefall.

And the latest Take Two post by BH on Twitter with him being the only member with no embedded preview while all the others have it on theirs.

Now while the last may seem minor, the point is you can clearly tell it was intentional. Like you can't convince me someone just made a mistake. All these things and others taken together are not a coincidence. They are legit moving like he's not their artist at all, imo.

Anyway, my question is I know trending hashtags aren't all that effective. My ideas/experience of how to properly address these 'slights/errors/issues' or whatever we're calling them with BigHit where they will actually take it as serious from the fandom is non existent. I didn't mention all the things that happened with BB because for all we know that's being handled behind the scenes or not. Either way that ship has sailed and BB is basically committed to being shady to BTS so that to me is a losing battle until alot more people who can affect change in the industry join that conversation or until BangPD buys a radio station🙄. All that said it does seem to me it that someone in that company has a serious issue with Jimin. I know solos are problematic and always victimize the boys but in this instance I do think there is a legit concern. I have actually started to see other actual OT7 start to acknowledge there might be a problem. I guess my question is as loved as Jimin is (outside Army Twitter that is) I would think with enough incentive, push, noise by the fandom Hybe would get their butts in gear and resolve/address some of these things. At the very least ship the albums Chinese fans paid for. I know I can write to them but I guess I want to actually be effective and that takes more than one person so my question is have you ever seen this before and if so how exactly has Army addressed it in the past and gotten results? Yes, I know Jimin is a grown man and can advocate for himself but to be frank it doesn't seem like he spends too much time on focusing on unfair treatment. This seems to be more than that though and all these micro aggressions seem to keep happening. It's not like Jimin is aware his post on Tweet is different or his fans haven't gotten their CDs. Thanks for listening to my long diatribe and please don't hesitate to tell me I'm an idiot if I'm looking at this all wrong. I can more than take the criticism and frankly would love to have another perspective that makes a modicum of sense, instead of what seems like the obvious.

***

'Anon' later followed up with a link to a more exhaustive list of suspicious incidents that only happen to Jimin at the hands of HYBE. 'Anon', I know I said I'd get to this later, but I realized this would be simplest/quickest ask in my drafts to respond to, so might as well get this out of the way because the backlog I've got is atrocious lool.

Hi Anon,

I read the laundry list of suspicious incidents.

Normally, when I see these lists of grievances, I ignore them. For two reasons:

Hard as it might be to believe, I don't care to spend my time defending BigHit. With what I do for a living, incompetence is unforgivable, so you won't find me getting in the way of anyone checking even a whiff of it in BigHit.

This is just what solos do, collecting an ever-expanding list of targeted sabotage on their chosen member, to buttress their case for why the member they believe is better than the rest, should leave his company and go solo. Like, that's literally what all these people are there for. Hobi solos have a list that's twice as long as the Jimin one, just from the last 12 months. Jungkook solos have a shorter list but I can wager 40 pounds it will be longer than Jimin's by the end of the year. RM's grievance list is more focused on the fandom than the company, but even then there's complaints of shipping and restocking delays aplenty. No other group of solos have perfected the art more than Taehyung's, in my opinion. Solos exist to differentiate their chosen member, in every way - he is more disadvantaged, more talented, more long-suffering, more harmed, more beautiful, than anyone else - all of it is fuel to intensify their devoted support of that one member. It has the side-effect of motivating solos to stream harder so if a missing cake pic gets someone to rejig their playlist, you won't find me getting in the middle of that. I too want more streams for Jimin and other members.

Plus, most of the claims in these lists can be easily dismissed or cross-referenced by anyone who keeps up with things for all seven members, to see that most of these issues aren't unique to Jimin or any one member.

For example,

300k JITB sales were deleted off Hanteo with no explanation, even more sales were deleted in week 2, again with no explanation,

OTS is still not registered on KOMCA more than 3 months after release,

Indigo still hasn't shipped to China, RM solos use a network to get albums in after the sales are registered/counted in Singapore,

Jungkook's brother was doxxed on a gallery linked to the company and YG,

Suga's profile still doesn't have a bio and merch page, and his Agust D page didn't get one until March 2022 - years after Agust D and D-2, merch came two weeks after D-DAY was out,

Taehyung's official youtube views were frozen for 37 hours straight and millions of views deleted,

Yoongi and Jin's in-ears didn't work during Not Today encore stage,

Jungkook's Spotify streams were mysteriously deleted in 2022 to give a Blackpink member the title of most streamed k-artist until pushback then the streams were recalculated,

JITB was not listed on the official BTS website shop or by Geffen for months after it was released, like, you couldn't even find it to see if it was sold out or not from those websites,

etc...

And this is just off the top of my head. Not like this is a competition, I just happen see it for various members, other k-pop groups, and have recently seen a Stella Quaresma solo stan make a similar list, and seen grumblings from FLO stans on inconsistent streaming numbers for the group. Also, most people eventually come to understand that BigHit is the only fully independent label under HYBE.

And so, I usually ignore grievance lists like that, and leave whoever feels so moved as a result of it to do what they want.

Because, as I keep saying, everyone in this fandom just does what they want. And, all of what I wrote above aside, of course it's bad enough that these things are happening anyway. It doesn't matter how common it is, if it happens to the whole industry or just one person, if I think it's wrong it bothers me, even if only momentarily.

And so, I do what I want.

Usually that means doing my research to confirm the claim or my suspicions, talking about it with friends, if the issue is on a 3rd-party platform I raise the issue through that platform's support channels, and write an email to BigHit in Korean if it's a problem on their end - if I've got time and I think it's an extremely urgent and severe problem. Most ARMYs already do this for issues they find very serious. And yes ARMYs have gotten results. Examples include rectifying misleading/insulting subtitles towards Jimin on a Vlive in 2021, fixing potentially misleading subtitles on the Festa 2022 video, and getting JITB's album finally shown on the official BTS website though this took months.

Personally, lack of public twitter announcements (Jimin's BB #1 was highlighted by company leadership to investors), cake pics, and albums still available to be purchased on the US store (FACE is not completely sold out on the US store), don't make the cut for me, also just as I don't expect JYPE, Universal or Sony to comment on their artist streams getting split, I don't expect BigHit to, but again, do you. Everyone else does anyway.

*

I hope I haven't come across as excessively flippant in my response to you, because I appreciate the time and care you spent sending me this ask Anon. I'm just another fan after all, and my opinion is only worth as much as yours. You're seeing things happen to Jimin that you cannot explain, injustices the company and fandom seem apathetic to, and you love Jimin and simply want the best for him. He deserves only the very best, as do other BTS members. You want to respect the agency of the adult male artist you support, but at the same time it's true he's not meant to micro manage his career, and the people paid to do it sometimes do a sloppy job. Plus antis and sasaengs worming their way into company spaces is a very real risk that's worth keeping in mind.

I'm constantly working under the assumption that the people I'm writing to aren't stupid, that everyone can think for themselves to decide what they want, and that anyone who ends up a solo, manti, or toxic shipper, was always going to be one. And that is just as well.

And so, I hope by this point, you can understand why I'll be saying what I'm saying next:

I read that laundry list, and it was immediately clear it was written by and/or sourced from solos or someone who spends a lot of time in a siloed environment in the fandom. Generally, anyone who thinks a member is always uniquely targeted, is well on their way to becoming a solo stan or is spending a lot of time around people hyper-focused on one member, and in k-pop fandoms, that means spending time with people who actively or eventually hate other members and seek to remove the chosen member from the group.

The motivations of solo stans inform every single thing they do, and it has less to do with love, and more to do with control. Everything in that list is crafted in such a way to communicate one message only. To do it, solos often rely on half-truths, artificially isolated accounts, and flat out misinformation. Which is a pain, because oftentimes there's some truth mixed in but like the boy who cried wolf, these lists lose their veracity soon enough for ARMYs who see these lists 7 times over. And because the ultimate motivation for solos is control, their approach to solving these issues is usually one that aims to destroy the public reputation of the team or weaken whatever connection is there to begin with.

Like, if I knew nothing about BTS and I read that list, I'd think you were lying if you told me the same company provided Jimin with remixes to support buying efforts, set him up with a camp for his first solo endeavour, etc.

At the end of the day, there'll be more of these issues for Jimin and other members, at least going by what I've seen flitting through various music fandoms for artists under big companies. Plus, being an ARMY for a while, I've come to expect something or the other happening from the industry mostly, towards BTS (also, YG is BigHit's distributor...). I trust that BTS are in control of their careers, and when I see things that don't make sense, I use any channels I find appropriate to flag it so it's corrected. If solo stans highlight something, I double-, triple-, and quadtriple-check it because those people just think different.

If you've made it to the end of my diatribe, thanks for taking the time.

Goodluck Anon.