#haha what if i made all my followers suffer?

[bunniesanddeer]

Hate (Alastor x Reader)

Hey, awkward haha. This is only my second attempt at smut, inspired by the lovely @hazelfoureyes. (If you want me to untag you, I totally will).

Obviously minors, DNI.

I'm normally not comfortable with this stuff, mostly because I don't have a ton of experience writing it. I decided, that for practice, I would try writing something where the reader doesn't like Alastor. I figured a dynamic that was different from what I normally wrote might help me learn how to get better at writing smut. So here is something inspired by the best smut writer, about a dynamic I've never written :) Also, my first time writing PiV, so sorry if it sucks :) be gentle with me, lol

Hate

Pairing: Alastor X Reader

Warnings: Reader HATES Alastor, Enemies to enemies with benefits, heat, smut, 18+, Alastor speaks French, praise kink, fingers, PIV.

Word Count: 3,818

You could feel it building. The heat rising and coursing through every inch of you. The way it settled in your core, at the pit of your belly. The twinge and ache in your chest. The pressure behind your eyes. The delirium in which you processed it. It was as much as you could take, and you could feel the tension building.

You hated him. You hated him with every inch of yourself. It was a hate that suffused your bones, that dripped through clenched teeth, and twitched tightly gripped hands. You hated him entirely. It wasn’t just the way he talked, although the pompous air and the two-faced words he spoke with angered you to no end. It wasn’t the way he dressed, despite the fact that it was an out of style suit that he preferred, that pissed you off at even a glance. You knew it wasn’t the way he looked, because as much as you hated the sight of him, he was an admittedly handsome demon and had likely been a handsome man; he had dark skin, and fluffy red hair that framed his sharp face nicely. No, it was something deep inside, that you couldn’t quite explain, that made you despise him so, so much.

Alastor was not a good man. No, it wasn’t exactly the best way to judge those that were already in Hell, but among the many denizens you’ve met, he was surely high on the list of fucked up crimes. Sure, he claimed he had a moral code that he strictly followed, but if no one knew what it was, what the hell was it good for? Maybe it was his hypocrisy. The way he held himself and looked at others with such disdain, and yet he was just as lowly and weak and corrupted as everyone else.

Alastor was a hypocrite, for sure, but maybe so were you. How else could you explain this? Who were you to judge him, for all his faults, when yours were staring you in the face? 

Your thighs ached. You could feel the pain growing, and you knew it would only get worse. You had been around him long enough now, that the cursed body you had been gifted had caught on, and now you would suffer for something you never agreed to. 

It hadn’t even been a thought, when you moved into the hotel. You hadn’t thought about the fact that your form and his might affect one another. How were you supposed to know it was a possibility when you’d never run across another deer demon, let alone a Buck? Hell, quite frankly, hell. Each new, fucked up thing, you found brought you greater misery. Now your own body was a prison. You’d take having periods again, if it meant you didn’t have this terrible thing.

When it had first started, only days before, you had sought out Angel Dust, who had laughed at you. 

“Ha! Are you pulling my chain, toots?” He had asked, his tone filled with bewilderment. “C’mon, you gotta know! You’ve been here for years!”

But you didn’t know, and when he caught the anxious look growing on your face, and the fidgeting of your hands, he sighed. 

“Shit, ya don’t know, do ya?” Angel put one of his many arms around your shoulders, and guided you to his room. He settled you on a plush bean bag, and offered you something to drink. You shook your head, anxiety making your face tingle. “Suit yourself, babes.” He sighed, and scratched the back of his head. “It’s called heat. Some folks don’t got one, some do frequently, and some are seasonal. For folks who got it seasonally, it tends to, uh, depend on whether or not ya got someone, you know, compatible.”

You cocked your head as you scratched and pulled at a stray thread on your pants. 

“You gotta find someone with a similar build to yours. If you ain’t ever seen another deer, it might be why it hasn’t come up, babes.” His words clicked in your head, and your face paled. 

“No,” you said, chest frozen at the thought. It hurt suddenly. Your hands tingled, and your chest hurt. What was happening? “No, no, no. Absolutely not, please tell me it’s not because-”

Angel winced, and gave you a pitying look. “Yeah, it’s cuz of Al, doll.”

You gasped for breath, and you shook. You couldn’t think clearly. Everyone knew how much you and Alastor hated each other. You made it clear, and his constant badgering and rude behavior seemed to solidify it for everyone that it was mutual. But for your body to betray you, for him? This felt like the ultimate Hell.

When you started crying, Angel had soothed you to the best of his ability. The next morning, after falling asleep in Angel’s many arms, he gave you an unopened toy, and told you to gather supplies. Enough to hoard up in your room for a few days. He promised to run interference for you, and sent you on your way. 

So here you were, writhing on your bed, on day three. Your sense of smell was increased, and your ears twitched at each subtle sound in the hall. You had tried putting on some mindless show so you could stop focusing on all these extra sensations, but it didn’t help. The extra voices, all not his, sent your head spinning. You had turned it off after only half-an-hour. 

Your thighs rubbed together, and sweat dripped down the back of your neck. You pushed your face into a pillow and groaned. You had avoided it thus far, but it might be time to break out the little vibrator. 

Eventually, you sat up in your bed, ignoring the blankets that you had pushed to the floor the day before. You huffed, and reached for the toy that had been plugged in the night before. You gave the strange pink toy a squeeze, the soft silicone giving just slightly, and made your way to the bathroom. While you washed the toy, you tried to convince yourself that this was all you needed. One good vibe session, and you’d be back to normal. You were wrong.

It was hot. The whole room was unbearably hot. You were covered in a thin layer of sweat, and your clothes had long found themselves on the floor. You had needed to recharge the toy one already, and it had only been a day. The water in the shower couldn’t get cold enough to cool you down. Your core ached, constantly, and your thighs had a near constant mess of slick spread along them. You were delirious with the unfathomable sensations you had been unwillingly wrapped in. 

With a cry, and your soaked fingers at your clit, you orgasmed, weakly. The release wasn’t nearly enough. You twisted, and bit down on your pillow as you cried, just a little. This was terrible. And all because of Alastor. You thought of his nasty jokes, and how cruel he could be. You thought on sharp eyes, and sharper smiles. You thought of his claws, and a soft grasp around your throat, slowly tightening as a normally clear voice grunted and huffed. You pulled your vibrator out again. With something in you snapping, you kept thinking of his slim hips, and broad chest. The way his hands twitched and grasped at his microphone. His leer and the way his eyes followed you when you walked into the room. His laugh, when he was angry with someone. The way he had shown you to handle a weapon before you fought the angels. The angry look he gave you when you yelled at him weeks later. You thought of his hands wrapping around your wrist, and his chest hovering over your back as lithe hips pressed against your ass. 

You came with another cry, the white-hot feeling surging through you. 

Shame filled you up. You were a hypocrite too, it seemed. 

It was dark. Your head was fuzzy, and you couldn’t place the time of day. You sat up, the room spinning as your heart settled. Something smelled good. Your eyes fluttered as you took it in. After a moment, you flicked your eyes around the room, and in the chair by the window was a figure. 

You screeched. It wasn’t terribly loudly, but it made the figure twitch. You dove to the lamp by your beside, and quickly flicked it on. As the warm light filled the room, it flashed across his eyes, and the look alone made you gasp.

“Alastor?” You whispered. What the fuck was he doing in your room?

“Oh, ma bichette.” His voice was rougher than normal, something dark tinging it. 

“What the fuck are you doing in my room, Alastor?” Despite the yearning in the pit of your belly, and the aching you had suffered through for days, this was beyond not okay. Alarm bells were ringing in the back of your head, and you couldn’t fathom why he would break into your room.

“Oh, ma chérie. I have felt that burn for days, and in your absence it grew worse.” His head cocked, and his eyes flashed in the light again. His hair looked strange, as if it was nearly damp. Something in his smile was unhinged. Your chest tugged and ached, and you had to fight to focus through the tingling in your fingers. “I could smell you, and this ache, this hunger I have never known, only grew worse.”

He stood from the chair, and you leaned back on your hands, ready to twist and run if you needed to. His tall form drew your gaze up his shape. Your mind struggled to focus on any one thing, and it was hard to hold onto your anger, like this. 

“It is impolite, to come in like this, but I need. And I can tell you do too.” He walked towards you, and leaned over you. Your conflicting feelings about the situation caused you to hesitate. You leaned back, your back meeting your sheets, and your knees bent, as if your legs could stop him from advancing. You were right, in that they would not, because a moment later, he was crawling over you, forearms flat on either side of your head. “I will leave if you ask it of me, my dear. But I ask that you let me pleasure you,” he whispered to you. His sharp teeth clacked as he glanced over your form. “Let me relieve us of this.” 

One of his hands brushed some of your damp hair from your forehead, and the look on his face nearly flat lined you. He looked so strange. You couldn’t pinpoint what it was. His eyes were soft and gazing at you with some unknown feeling gleaming in them. His mouth was slanted, and his teeth glittering in the low light — Your train of thought halted as you realized he wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t smiling. What the fuck? What could have done that? Your eyes widened, and you could only stare as his thumb strayed to your lips and tugged at the bottom lip. 

“What do you say, my dear?” His gaze caught yours, and you could barely breathe.

“I hate you,” you said. “I hate you, especially for this.”

Something flickered across his face, but he didn’t pull away. “I know, mon cœur. You have many reasons, but this isn’t about that. I merely wish to ease our suffering. Your suffering.”

You wanted to cry. How fucking dare he? How dare he be so terrible on a daily basis, and yet so kind now? You wanted to scream. You could feel tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. It felt so unfair. But you were desperate, and he was offering to touch you, something he didn’t like to do. You knew his reputation, his dislike and disregard for things of a sexual nature, and yet here he was, crossing that boundary with you. (Something in you hurt, knowing that someone who hated him would be crossing that line with him, not someone who loved him or cared for him in any capacity. Maybe that was his Hell). 

“Fine. Fuck. Fine. We can fuck, just, I don’t know. No kissing. And I uh, I’d like to be on my belly.” You didn’t want to look at him. (You knew it was the thought of him that got you off so many times, but the idea of really seeing him, bothered you in a way you couldn’t explain). His face twitched, but he nodded. 

“I understand, ma bichette.” He pet your hair, again, and rubbed a thumb across your forehead, and he took a deep breath in. “Alright, dear, ass up.”

Your eyes widened, and you gulped down the little moisture in your mouth. With deep, steady breaths, you turned over, maneuvering on the bed with twitching limbs. You pressed your chest against the bed, aching at the tenderness in your breasts. Your hands held onto the sheets tightly, and your ears twitched and pressed flat against your skull. Your tail sprung straight, and you could hear Alastor let out a breathy chuckle. The sound of clasps and zippers coming undone made your tail wag, and you could feel one of his hands swat at the fluffy bundle of fur at the base of your spine. 

“Excited, dearest?” His voice carried in the quiet room. You couldn’t reply with words. You were so conflicted. You hated him acutely, and yet here you were. Something akin to giddiness was building in your chest. Your tail wagged harder. You hoped he didn’t take it as an answer. 

You could feel his warm body lean over yours a moment later. He was so much bigger than you. It was clear with how wide his shoulders were, and how his long legs cradled yours easily. One of his forearms settled beside yours, and his face rested in the crux of your shoulder. Sharp teeth lightly grazed the skin there, while hot breath fanned over your back. Soft touches on the swell of your ass, creeping over your hip, and then cupping your mound softly. (How could he be so soft in this, and yet so harsh? Your mind was buzzing so loud). 

“Stop thinking, mon trésor.” His finger grazed your clit, and your mind went quiet. Oh, you had forgotten what it was like being touched by someone else. 

His fingers moved with focus from there, and your legs twitched. You huffed, and closed your eyes, letting the sensations fall over you. Soon, with the gentle touches getting firmer, and more precise, your thighs were getting slick. Small sounds left your clenched teeth. (It felt good, but the petty part of you wanted to deprive him of the satisfaction of your noises). 

Alastor’s hand moved, and suddenly one finger was sinking into your heat. You groaned, and your back arched. 

“Oh, continuer ma chère. Je veux vous entendre.” His voice is coarse, but his finger curls, and you can’t even try and translate his whispered words. Your body trembles as he slips in a second finger. His thumb catches your clit, and your mind is a muddled mess. Your resolve to remain silent shatters, and your voice leaves your throat with no control. 

“Oh, Alastor,” you say. Your eyes flutter, and you clench down on his fingers. He grunts, and thrusts them a little harder. 

“When you are ready, my dear, come for me. And then we can move on to the main event.” His words attempt for nonchalance, but the way he struggles to get them out has you internally laughing. It stops when his erection, clear as day, rubs against your ass. Your hips twitch, pressing against him. “Oh,” he grunts. “Not yet dear.”

He twists his hand, and presses his chest against your back. His hand on the bed grabs at yours, and he intertwines your fingers. Teeth scratch at your shoulder, and the sudden flood of sensory information sends you over a line you didn’t know you were near. 

“Ah! Alastor,” You cry, and fire flicker up your core, and in your veins. You clench hard on his fingers, and his ever present static swells in response. (Although, with how much your hands and face tingle, it could be in your head). 

“Oh, yes.” His head settles against your shoulder blade, and his hand slowly pulls from your core. His wet fingers graze your hip with soft touches, and the hand holding yours rubs softly. “So good for me, dearest. My doe. So good.”

Your chest aches, and you want to cry. How fucking dare he hit the fucking nail on the head? Your breath hitches, and you have to work to not cry. 

“Oh, my dear.” He sits up, and the loss of his heat nearly makes your tears fall. You can’t fathom why you’re suddenly emotional, but it won’t waver in its intensity. His face settles in your sight line. “Are you alright, dear?” His lets go of yours, and cradles the back of your head. “Did I hurt you?”

You want to cry. Fuck him. Fuck this. How dare he. A tear slips before you can stop it, and his eyes narrow, something nearly concerned looking, crossing his expression. 

“No. Fuck you. I hate you,” you can barely finish the sentence before a hint of a sob leaves you. “I hate you. I hate you. Just fuck me already.”

His brows furrow, and the red of his eyes glints as he manages a nod. “If that’s what you desire,” he says, and then he’s behind you again. 

His hands are on your hips, and you hear skin against skin, and then he’s gently prodding you with the thick head of his cock. Alastor presses his cock into your soaking entrance slowly, and you worry about his size for a moment. But then, he’s pressing more firmly, and your thoughts halt. Electricity is shooting up your spine as he sinks into you. You internally thank him fro prepping you with his fingers, because he’s packing more than you would have expected. 

A sharp breath from him, and then his hips snap against yours. “Hah, sorry, dearest.” His breaths are rough, and you feel his hands squeeze your hips hard. “I had intended to go slower, but this is-” He bends over you again, and his chest is against your back, and he’s grasping at the sheet with you. “You’re so good, my dear. Better than I could have ever-”

His hips snap again, and your body jolts. You gasp as he presses his hips against your ass, pushing as far he can get. You feel so tight. Everything is hot, and all you can think about is him. Your tail brushes against his belly as he starts to set a rhythm. All the pain you had been in, and you were starting to feel like it might have been worth it. 

One of his hand wraps around your waist, over your breasts, and his hand settles on your neck. “Let me know if you wish me to stop,” he huffs, and then he’s squeezing your throat, just slightly. 

You mewl, and roll your hips against him. “Oh yes. Little doe. You are so good for me.” The way he says makes you moan again, and you huff as he squeezes your throat again. 

The pace he sets is just under what you need, and it makes you hate him more. Part of you knows what he’s waiting for, and you dread it. It’s within mere moments, though, that you cave, and open your mouth.

“Alastor, please,” you say. Your voice is weak, with how hard it is to take a full breath. Your body is pressed into the mattress, and with the stinging breaths you attempt to take with each thrust, and the light squeeze of his hand around your neck, you struggle. 

His hand loosens, as if he can read your mind. “What is it, dearest,” He asks. “Use your words. I know you can.”

You sigh, and nearly yell at him when his hips stop, giving you time to speak up. You roll your eyes, and nearly beg, “Please, just a little faster.”

You can hear the smile when he responds, “Of course, my doe,” and then his pace starts up again, faster, and just a tinge harder, than it had been before. Your toes curl and your hands grasp at the sheets. 

That heat was growing again, low in your belly. Your thighs were aching, and your back was as arched as you could get it. Sweat was dripping down your back, and all you could think is that you wanted more. 

“Alastor,” you moaned, and grunted back. As you clenched down on his cock, the heat grew, and you could feel tight wires wrapping around your core.

“Oh, ma biche, tu es si bonne pour moi.” His fingers found your clit again, and he rubbed with focus. “So good. You are so good.” He kept repeating it like a mantra, and you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

The wires snapped, and your body went white-hot. You couldn’t see, and you stopped being able to hear more than garbled syllables and the rhythmic thumping of the headboard against the wall. 

Your body went taut, and you clenched down. You could hear his voice grow sharp and ragged, but nothing more as he kept thrusting. 

When you finally settled enough to focus your hearing, you could hear Alastor muttering to himself. And then he went still. “Do you want me to leave my seed in you, or no?”

Your breath caught. Fuck, you hadn’t thought about that. Without thinking too much, you whispered, “In.” 

You watch one of his hands tighten on the bed, sharp claws piercing the fabric. (you’d make him replace it for sure, jerk). Without much warning, he starts his pace again, his thrusts nearly brutal. His grunts and murmuring start up again, and it’s only moments before you feel him twitch, and then heat filling you. He curls around you, head pressed between your shoulder blades. 

You stay sitting like that for a few minutes, before he slowly extricates himself from around you and pulls his cock from your slick entrance. When he returns with a warm, damp rag and cleans you up, you refuse to make eye contact. When he picks up the dirty sheets, and bring you clean ones, you stare at the floor. It’s when he brings you water, and tucks you into bed, you finally look up at him.

“I hate you,” you tell him. 

His face is neutral, and he nods. “I know.”

“This changes nothing,” you say. 

And he nods, letting his normal smile pop back on his face. “I know.”

Hi, please let me know how this was? I'm really awkward about this kind of stuff, and it makes me a tiny bit anxious. Anyways! I hope you liked it. Should I add an 18+ taglist? Also, I have a few asks and stuff that will be posted soon. House hunting has been going terribly. The market is awful, and I am just sad :(

[jinnie-ret]

skz and 9th member reader doing one of the period pain simulator things and reader being completely fine while the boys are Suffering. them realising how bad the period pains are and how the reader just gets on with schedules and dance practice and gym while in immense pain and the boys are just like :00

period pains

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

word count: 0.9k (exactly!)

summary: you're keen to see the boys reactions to what you go through every month.

I hope you enjoyed this! If you did be sure to comment or reblog! And let me know if you'd like to be added to my taglist!

Asks are shut!

MAIN MASTERLIST

You didn't mean to make such a dramatic exit when you ran out of the practice room to the toilets, but a girl's gotta go, especially when she's on her period. You didn't want to risk bleeding through your grey joggers that you wore.

Just as you exited the toilets, you had a worried Felix waiting for you.

"Y/Nnie, are you ok? Are you sick?" he frowned, a crease between his brows as he hoped you were not feeling under the weather.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, you know girl things," you tried to hint, yet he didn't seem to get it straight away, which surprised you, considering he had two sisters.

"Girl things?" he wondered out loud.

"Gosh do I have to spell it out? I've just got some cramps at the moment, I'm on my period," you sighed and rolled your eyes at him, jokingly of course.

"Ohhhhhh..."

"Yeah, now come on, let's get back to practice," you started walking, not turning around to see if he followed or not.

"You sure you're up for it? You can take a break if you need!" Felix wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you walked back into the practice room.

"Felix, I love you, but, I'll be fine haha, I've done this plenty of times before. If I really need to, then of course, I'll take a break, ok?" you couldn't help but smile at his caring attitude towards you.

"Oh, is it that time?" Chan asked as soon as you walked in, overhearing part of your conversation.

"Haha, yes, what gave it away?" you laughed in disbelief at how he could have possibly known.

"The emergency crisps in your bag kinda said it all," Chan lightly chuckled.

Oh.

Makes sense.

"Y/N, do you need painkillers? A hot water bottle?!" Han came up to you, treating you like you were a fragile doll.

"I've taken some painkillers already, it's fine, let's just continue with practice, yeah?" you patted his head to calm him down. What was it with these boys?

"Are you sure you can manage?" Hyunjin warily asked.

"I'm sure. You guys don't need to baby me, let's just continue," you laughed as you shook your head, getting back into position. You didn't miss their obvious glances at you, and whilst a part of you felt warm, another part was wondering how bad they truly thought periods were.

It didn't take long for your queries to be answered. In a special episode of SKZ Code, the boys were all simultaneously being hooked up to period pain simulator machines, which you were keen to see their reactions to.

"I bet I won't even flinch," Changbin smirked as he folded his arms.

"Surely it can't be that bad?" Jeongin thought out loud.

"If you don't think it's that bad, why do you always baby me when I'm on my period, hmmm?" you raised a brow at them. It made quite the moment for the episode, stays thinking you looked very cool in this moment with your blunt attitude.

"Well, you know, it's because..." Seungmin trailed off.

"We see how emotional you can get sometimes but you're an emotional person anyways," Lee Know shrugged.

"Then I bet Chan will be crying by the end of this," you teased your sensitive leader.

"Hey! I have a sister, I know that this will be painful, trust me," Chan held up his hands.

"I think I'll be fine," Han nodded confidently.

"Interesting..." you simply commented back, before the staff pressed the on buttons on the patches that were placed upon their abdomens and you could see the discomfort on their faces straight away.

"This isn't too bad..." Hyunjin's nose scrunched slightly.

"Oh, they're just going easy on you," you said smugly, before the intensity was raised and they started groaning, some of them (Felix, Changbin, Jeongin) started curling into themselves from the pain.

"I don't think I can go on like this," Han dramatically whined as he thrashed about suddenly and whacked Lee Know in the face.

"Yah! Just because you have a low pain tolerance!" Lee Know mumbled grumpily through gritted teeth.

"This feels a bit sadistic, Y/Nnie," Seungmin winced as he watched you smirk.

"Well this is right up your street then," you laughed at him.

"I don't know how girls do this," Changbin whimpered from the ground. Even with his jutdwae he couldn't contain or control his emotions.

"Isn't that enough yet?" Chan looked pleadingly towards the staff who finally turned off the machines, causing all members to relax and sigh in relief.

"Not as easy as you think, is it?" you sat comfortably, one leg crossed over the other.

"I'm so glad I don't have to go through that, let alone do it every month," Jeongin said as his body went lax across a sofa.

"Think how I felt, mine started when I was 12," you revealed, something you would never have needed to but you thought it would be interesting to see their reactions to it considering the situation you were in right now.

"12?! When I was 12 I had barely began auditioning for JYP..." Chan gasped.

"And now look at you, you're an old man," Seungmin casually commented after, leaving all of you in hysterics.

It was a perfect ending to an unexpected segment of a SKZ Code episode, and stays loved it.

tagged: @skz-streamer @sakufilms @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @kiraisastay @han-jiquokka

[bad268]

Omg I just read your new kimi fic (with the chronically ill reader) and I love it so much! Soo literally anything else for kimi would be amazing (there's so little fics for him istg) but if its okay I'd love a figure skater reader (but like professional, world champion kind of skater) who's currently not competing cos she injured herself kinda badly (preferably smth to do with her acl but anything is fine) so she can't skate atm (like kinda Angsty but also fluffy, maybe kimi comforting reader or smth?)

Otherwise I'd also love same concept with figure skater reader and her and kimi going skating and like her teaching him or smth haha

Thanks so much in advance already <3

Go for the Gold (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Figure Skater! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (Thank you love! I'm glad you liked it <3 I may or may not have semi-based this on Sasha...)

Warnings: Drugs (pain meds)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1040

Summary: Silver will have to do until you can get back on the ice.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

As if finishing second in the Olympics wasn’t a hard enough blow, you landed wrong during a practice jump and made a worse injury for yourself when you proceeded to compete on it. Yes, it wasn’t your main jumping leg, but that did not mean you didn’t stand on it during certain moves. And yes, silver was good, but when you set a world record in your program, maybe you set the expectations too high when you expected gold. Your teammate ended up getting gold. 

You just got back to your apartment in Italy after a medical appointment. Of course, you tore your ACL. And to make matters, worse, your boyfriend was out for testing all week. That just added salt to the wound.

Your parent dropped you off after you assured them you would be fine as you hopped up the stairs with your crutches in hand. You would not be able to get in for surgery for at least a week, so you had to suffer in pain for the next few days until the doctor scheduled you. 

You hobbled up to your door, trying to fish out your keys one-handed while simultaneously balancing on one leg. Usually, it would not be difficult, but you were still in pain and still felt the effects of the pain meds. It was a little harder than you remembered. You finally got your keys out, and of course, you dropped them.

“Can anything go my way for once?” You groaned to yourself as you tried to grab them. Just when you touched them, a hand came out to swipe them off the ground as another hand wrapped itself around your torso and pulled you toward the door that you just now noticed was open. You looked up at the person, dazed, to see Kimi holding you up. “When did youtube here?”

“Testing ended yesterday, I thought I texted you?” Kimi replied as he lifted you, grabbed your crutches, and carried you into the apartment. He carried you all the way to the common room where he set you on the sofa and handed you the remote. You took it from him with a glare as you pulled out your phone to show him no messages.

“Does it look like you texted me? No. You didn’t,” You snapped as you threw the remote to the side as you opted to stay on your phone. “Would’ve been nice to have you with me, but no, You were here chilling while I was getting drugged and x-rayed.”

“I must’ve forgotten to send it,” He muttered as he pulled out his own phone. Indeed, he did forget to hit send. He wanted to be upset at the attitude from you, but he’s been with you long enough to know that when you get hurt, you get mad. It’s never directly at him, moreso at yourself, but that did not mean it hurt any less. He knew the best way to go about this is to give you space for a while.

So he left you alone. As soon as you snapped at him, you felt bad, but you couldn’t follow him because he left your crutches against the far wall. You had to just sit there in the hole you dug and wait for him to come back. 

What felt like forever to you was more like an hour for Kimi. How did he know? Because he cooked you your favorite food (that he knew how to cook) as an apology. He went to hide away in the kitchen, so he could still keep an eye on you while also focusing on food. If you were still on the meds, you would be hungry after they wore off, he thought.

He was right because he peaked over to the common room when he heard rustling, and he saw you trying to stand up using the table. It was not nearly tall enough to provide adequate support, so you kept falling. He ran over to help support you, and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes when you noticed he was the one helping you.

“I’m sorry I’m being difficult, Kimi,” You whispered as you leaned into his shoulder and cried. ”It’s just a lot, and I didn’t plan on being injured, and I know I’m not the nicest when I’m injured, and I know I snapped at you-”

“And I know you’re sorry, and you don’t have to apologize,” Kimi chuckled as he cut off your rambling. Every time you got hurt, you would apologize profusely every time you snapped, but it became something he would look forward to. It usually means the initial pissy mood was gone until the (inevitable) next injury. “I made your favorite to cheer you up a bit? Are you hungry?”

“Are you a mind reader?” You gasped as you snapped your head up to meet his eyes. “Did you know I was craving it?”

“I just know you like to eat it when you’re feeling down,” Kimi consoled as he helped you toward the kitchen island to sit. Then, he went around to plate up your food. “It’s known to give you strength. Maybe enough to get you back on your feet sooner.”

“Oh, I wish,” You sighed as you began to eat the food. “This is amazing, Kimi! Who knew you could cook?”

“You’ve known I could cook for years since you taught me how to make it!” Kimi defended himself. “And what’s with the ‘I wish’? Something happened at the appointment?”

“Just that they can’t get me in until next week at the earliest,” You groaned as Kimi took his seat next to you. “Looks like you and I are gonna be attached, more than usual, for the foreseeable future. At least a week wait for the surgery, then a 9-month recovery period. Therapy won't start until at least a month post-op.”

“And I’ll be here the entire time,” Kimi comforted as you leaned into his side. He left a kiss on the crown of your head before whispering, “Who knows? Maybe you’ll get the gold next time. You’ll come back stronger than ever. I think this is the start of your comeback story.”

~~~ Part 2 ->

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[laviaceae]

your art has spiked my interest haha what’s tower of hanoi and how/where do i play it?

OKAY.

TOWER OF HANOI IS THE BEST GAME YOU ABSOLUTELY, 110% GUARANTEE NO REFUNDS, HAVE NEVER HEARD OF.

LET ME EXPLAIN.

(also known as: i win at all times ever and im glad my tawahano propaganda pays off, HAH!)

----------

Have you ever heard of... END ROLL? Walking On A Star Unknown? Farethere City? These are all relatively niche RPGMaker 2000 games made by a Japanese game creator known as Segawa (せがわ), with END ROLL being the most popular among Western Fans (you might see the main character, Russell, in some fanart with OMORI or Yume Nikki characters for example)!

In fact, for followers of mine who are In Stars and Time fans, END ROLL was credited as one of the inspirations for that game!

TOWER of HANOI is another game made by Segawa, one released in November of 2020, and one of the final games they've made in RPG2K (so they've got an absolute mastery of the engine).

I'll be in part directing this post towards ISAT fans since that makes up the majority of my followerbase on Tumblr, so there may be ISAT spoilers (including Two Hats/Act 6 Secret spoilers) up ahead! There will also be mild TOWER of HANOI spoilers required to explain the game's premise. Proceed at your own risk.

Section One: So, what is TOWER of HANOI all about?

TOWER of HANOI is a narrative-driven RPG with multiple endings (2 'true endings', 3 'bad endings') set in a futuristic, post-post-World-War-Five society. The game mostly takes place within the TOWER, a hyper-realistic virtual reality simulation currently undergoing playtests that was built to be able to rehabilitate HANOI (androids that look and sound and feel emotions like humans do) who have dangerous levels of mental instability.

The stability of a HANOI is measured through their Stress Level, a numerical representation of that HANOI's mental state. HANOI are generally considered by society to be more of technology or property than people (like your computer or your phone would be), and as such have no rights and are often mistreated by humans. More than 50% of HANOI hate their human employers.

In order to combat the dangerous upward trend of HANOI Stress Levels (caused by their mistreatment), the TOWER was created. In it, HANOI are expected to fight and defeat virtual enemies that approximate humans in order to destress through violence. Upon a successful completion, HANOI are to be returned to their human employers.

Because the TOWER is currently undergoing testing, groups of HANOI are accompanied through the TOWER by a human "Inspector" who is expected to report any bugs or issues they encounter during their playtest.

You play as one of those human Inspectors; Inspector No.102, Coral Brown.

(this is my art! you may have seen him in my ISAT au as taking the place of Siffrin).

He's 33 years old, kind, calm, and soft as a marshmallow. He's also a human being who believes in the rights and wellbeing of HANOI, and sympathises with their suffering. As a child, he was raised by a HANOI instead of his parents, which may have contributed to his feelings towards them.

Over the course of the game and as you progress through the TOWER you'll get to meet and intimately know the ten HANOI under Coral's care with Fire Emblem-esque Support events depending on how many times you bring each of them to battle. These can be between Coral and the HANOI, or the HANOI between eachother. (There are more than 100 of these such events to collect in total!)

TOWER of HANOI's characters are both charming and tragic. They each have incredibly well-realised personalities, backstories, and relationships both with the Inspector taking care of them and eachother. It's easy to imagine day-to-day interactions in Headquarters (your hub area) between them all.

You have Adams, a HANOI built for missionary work and who's Stress Level is the lowest out of all ten (and actually below the 'dangerous' stress threshold)! He's silly and mischevious and adores spicy food. Despite this, he's here at the TOWER because he doesn't believe in God, despite that being an important part of his 'role' in the world. When did he stop believing in God, and why? What is his relationship with the people at the Church that took care of him?

Or Mira, a Childcare HANOI that reminds Coral of the HANOI that looked after him as a child. She loves children, but has to constantly grapple with the fact that she can't have any and that any children she takes care of will eventually, inevitably leave her. How will she and Coral resolve the fact that they both remind eachother of someone they knew in the past? How will she interact with the other HANOI?

There's also Nanashi, a cheaply-made HANOI for miscellaneous chores who's trust and care for humanity has been completely shattered due to his ties with the mafia. He wasn't even important enough to be given a name until Coral gives him one upon their first meeting in the TOWER. He hates humans, hates Coral, and refuses to trust him, instead convincing himself that Coral is merely faking his kindness to get him to let his guard down just to use him like all humans he's ever known have done. Will Coral eventually be given Nanashi's trust? What will he do once he leaves the TOWER, and has to be sent back to the mafia where he came from?

Finally there's Kimon Noroi, a HANOI who resembles a child that fulfils a very special purpose. Noroi is what's known as a Yorimashi (憑坐), and uses her body to allow spirits to occupy it and commune with the living. She's seen how terrible humans can be because of the spirits she's seen and can come across as a bit standoffish (though she's really just as much of a menace as Adams is), and definitely, definitely, definitely doesn't miss the Priest at the shrine she lived in before coming to the TOWER at all! How will she interact with Adams, both having people they miss back at home? How will she interact with Mira, who's like a mother figure to her in this place?

As you progress, you can find the answers to all of these questions, as well as the identities of the six other HANOI I've not even mentioned here- all as well-written and interesting as these four.

However, the HANOI aren't the only faction in the game to worry about.

The very NPCs and enemies you'll be fighting along the way are coming to life, gaining sentience, and realising they want something more in their existence than eternally repeating dialogue chains and fetch quests and death in battle.

The head of this 'rebellion' of 0s and 1s, a computer virus named Shunya, acts as the main antagonist for the majority of the game, but even she isn't... 'evil'. She has her own found family, a group of bugged enemies she's befriended along her journey, all of whom want her to realise her dream of "melting" down the TOWER and returning all of the 0s and 1s inside to their base state of not thinking, not feeling, and not being in eternal pain.

Should you fight these people, if their emotions really are real, and defeat them without caring about their plight? Is it right to, to disregard the thoughts and feelings of 0s and 1s for the sake of the wellbeing of the HANOI Coral's grown so attached to? Should you follow the 'role' you've been given, or disregard it and create your own?

TOWER of HANOI excellently tackles the dichotomy of themes between 'roles' in societies and the 'dreams' people have, and nowhere is this more apparent than Coral Brown himself. Throughout the game, there will be multiple events and opportunities in order to control Coral's own Stress Level, and how he feels towards both the side of HANOI and the side of 0s and 1s he's stuck between. Lower his stress and he'll side with the HANOI and enjoy his job, and at higher stresses he'll begin to hate it, being unable to eat or sleep as he starts feeling awful for the 0s and 1s he spends his time killing in the TOWER....

These branch into the two main 'True Routes' of the game, depending on your Stress Level... but I shall leave the specific nature of those to discover in your own playthroughs. :)

If you've enjoyed ISAT, there's a good chance you'll enjoy TOWER of HANOI. Not only is one of the creator's previous games an inspiration for ISAT, they share a lot of similarities in their characters. Coral and Siffrin are very similar as protagonists, and as for others...

(Loop artwork credit to Insertdisc5 from In Stars and Time)

I could write a whole essay on how these two are so painfully similar and would kill eachother on sight. Maybe I will one day. Who knows. Me when I have a guide character lacking half of a face that has Fucking Issues TM stemming from intense jealousy and shares some visual similarity with our main character. Just look at them. This is the sole reason for the twohats warning. Just look at them.

Section Two: Wow, that's so cool and awesome Mx Lav! How do I play TOWER of HANOI?

You can check out the official website here, and the official downloads page here! I'd recommend following the instructions on this website to get the game working faster (because RPG2K is a pain in the ass on modern systems).

...

...Oh? It's all in Japanese? ...Well-

Section Three: --WAIT WHY IS IT ALL IN JAPANESE??

Yes, that's TOWER of HANOI's One (Big) Thing. The one thing you have to look past in order to actually play the game; it's all in Japanese, and an English translation will never be made (unless Segawa-san lifts the translation ban).

However, you don't actually need to know Japanese to play the game. I sure don't! And all of the other English-speaking fans I know that have played this game don't either.

There are three main ways to accomplish this, but I'll only discuss two here:

Sugoi Translator or similar translators. Sugoi Translator (or Sugoi Toolkit) is a machine translation tool that automatically grabs and translates the text in game you're looking at. The translations themselves make a good amount of sense, too! It's a little difficult to set up, but once you've calibrated it once you never have to worry about it again. This is definitely easiest if you want to read all of the dialogue in the game, including flavourtext (as yes, all 10 HANOI and Coral have unique flavourtext for every item in the game...), but is only available for free on the 15th and 16th each month and is otherwise only available to download on the creator's Patreon.

Google Lens. The easier, plug-and-translate method of the two. Simply download the Google Lens app and point it at the text on the screen, it'll read and translate it for you. The translations here are a little goofier (and sometimes, depending on your phone camera quality or lighting conditions, can be difficult for the app to pick up), but it's easy to complete a playthrough with just this tool alone.

If you can't get past this game's One Big Thing, I get it. It's a hard game to sell to people precisely for this reason. I'm at least glad you've read this far down into the post to get to this point and have showed interest in the game. And now you now about a game you didn't before, and you also have an itty bitty bit of context for all the non-ISAT stuff I post here. But this game has had me in a chokehold for the past two years and I promise that, if you can get through it, it's extremely worth it.

If you have the time and you're willing to try, please do! I love this game with all my heart and it's such a shame that most Western fans will never have easy access to it. I shill this game with all my heart, for realsies.

Section Four: Trigger/Content Warnings

If you've played a Segawa game before, you knew this section was coming. Segawa-san's games often tackle heavy or dark themes, and TOWER of HANOI isn't an exception. I'll add a list of content warnings here just so you aren't surprised by anything.

Suicide, both on and off screen

Self-harm, on-screen through dialogue

Themes of terminal illness, on screen

Hospitals (on screen, a majority of one of the game's dungeons takes place in one)

Death (on-screen)

Abuse (off-screen, but portrayed through dialogue)

Child harm/death (mentioned)

Kidnapping/Child kidnapping (mentioned)

Horror elements (no chase sequences, one jumpscare through an optional and hard-to-find sidequest)

Sexual Assault/Abuse (Not on-screen but talked about extensively, can avoided if you avoid Melitica/Merrytika's dialogue)

Mishandling of discussions surrounding gender identity (this character's identity is shown generally throughout the game to be a positive/supported thing, but some dialogue and design choices are quite ignorant/transphobic- though not maliciously. This can be avoided if you avoid Kathy/Cameron's dialogue)

There is also a substantial amount of screenshake employed near the end of the game. This list is from memory and limited from the amount of dialogue I've personally seen/translated, so it's probably not fully comprehensive. But it is thorough.

Section Five: Conclusion

oof... You've made it to the end! This took me the better part of a day to write, and I'm glad I finally got to advertise my favourite game on main. I hope... any of this makes sense, and that you enjoy! Even if you decide TOWER of HANOI isn't right for you, you at least know a little more about something you didn't before. Thank you so much for getting to the end, and I wish you the best!

[ayanominitrash]

For No Reason (Gojo Satoru x reader)

You wrote a love letter to Satoru, but in your panic about getting rejected, you told him it was meant for Suguru instead. Little did you know your feelings aren’t one-sided.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Satoru who confidently runs a hand through his white locks after strolling up to you in the hallways of Jujutsu High, looking down at you with a smirk, “I knew you’ve always had a thing for me. Who could really resist the strongest?” He waves the love letter you’ve written to him in his hand, dangling it in front of your face. “I’m actually quite surprised, given how little interaction we have with each other. Well, just so you know - “

Satoru, whose smirk and confident demeanor completely disappeared when you abruptly told him that sending the letter to him was a mistake and that you meant to give it to Suguru. You blurted out the first thing that came into your mind, afraid that the next thing he was going to say was a flat-out rejection of your true feelings. “Ah, Suguru? I see. Next time, just give it to him upfront instead of sliding it under the door - he doesn’t live alone in the dorm room, you know.” He handed you back the letter and quietly walked passed you out of the hallway. Something felt off with Satoru in your short exchange- you’d expected that he’d tease the hell out of you about this, but surprisingly, he’s even given you a piece of advice, something that you should’ve considered. What if Suguru saw the letter instead of Satoru? Despite this, you’re partly relieved to delay the inevitable rejection. You don’t think you can handle the heartbreak.

Satoru, who changes how he acts towards you for the following days. Although you two aren’t that close, the tall man would usually acknowledge you with a smile, or a wink when you pass each other in the hallways. Nowadays, he’d just glance at you before pretending he forgot something and go back to where he just came from. Or, the man would just use his technique and flat-out teleport himself the fuck out of there. When the two of you meet up with your usual friend group, you’d try to talk to him but he’d start speaking to someone else, utterly acting like you weren't just about to speak to him. What the hell is going on?

Satoru, who visibly pales when you decide to confront him about his behavior, blocking his path on the school grounds where the cherry blossoms are. Some of the petals fall on each of your heads as you stand under the gloomy sky. It’s chilly. 

“W-Well, hello there little lady, is there something you…”  "No, I wasn't about to teleport, haha."

“I’ve been avoiding you? Ah, I don’t know about that. I’ve just been busy these days.” 

“Okay, maybe I have been avoiding you.”

“Why? ‘Cus, you're Suguru’s girl.” 

“Hm? What do you mean what am I talking about? I can’t go crushing on someone else’s girl - let alone my best friend's.”

“You heard me well. Don’t make me repeat myself. It’s so hard seeing you all pretty like that in your skirt, thinking it’s all for him, ya know?”

“The fuck you mean that letter was for me?! Didn’t you -? Oh, you sly girl. Silly silly. You just made me suffer for no reason.”

“Sorry’s ain’t gonna cut it, sweetheart. Now that I know your true feelings for me, the least you can do to mend my achy little heart is to kiss me.” 

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡ reblogs and comments are appreciated//do not repost my work anywhere // AND SO WHAT IF I WROTE THIS WHILE HAVING HIS THEME SONG DADDY'S HOME ON REPEAT? SO WHAT?!!

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

🫂 Radiating Justice || Hellsing Alucard Angst 🫂

Word Count: 4,915

WARNING - As a victim I was going through a rough day when I started this. I looked up when SA awareness month was thinking it was this month but it's fine. Close enough if you will haha. April is nearly here and it'll be Sexual assault Awareness Month. April is also my birthday month so there's quite a bit of angst in the air with me right now. 

The story includes the talk of sexual assault and abuse so please be aware. To all the fellow victims out there hello, I see you and I am with you. 

Check out my other socials and follow if you want and I'm open for commissions so if you are interested in that please dm or comment. (PayPal & Cashapp preferred. I'm open to other payment methods if you prefer them but we'll have to talk about it. Currently working on getting something set up for someone else but since I'm kinda new to everything you'll have to be patient with me. ^^`

👇🏾 Story Continues Down Below 👇🏾

~

It's one of those days. 

One of those fucking days. 

The days were his past, the long and vast pit of it plagued his mind. He's in the void, the one that's been hovering over him the the last couple of decades. The one that had formed directly after the Turks. 

He remembers no matter how many peoples he's met, no matter how many he's lost or torn up with his very own teeth and claws… nothing ever seemed to actually get rid of his original past. 

Even when he was joking, laughing, cackling it always lingered whether he wanted it to or not even if the distractions he had around him now seemed to quiet them from time to time it was still other fucking hell. 

They whispered to him, voices much like the one he held so many years ago. Voices that sounded like what he used to, telling him that it was his fault even if he tried to avoid it. Telling him that if he had been stronger back then he wouldn't have to suffer with the thoughts he was plagued with now, that sure it wasn't his fault, not necessarily, but what if he hadn't of been cursed into that world… hadn't of been created at all. If it wasn't that voice it was all the others, the souls of those that he had been made into consuming who had now… practically been able to see his life, who had been forced into watching his pain just as much as he was. 

They whispered, voices echoing in the shadows of his subconscious and he watched them do so with dead eyes. 

And if it wasn't the whispers, the gasps, the pained and sorrowful looks he received from the dead of those following him it was himself. 

At times, when there was nothing else but him, the darkness and that… child, Alucard was faced with being glared at, yelled and cursed at by them for not giving them the strength he now had and he listened… He did so until they gripped at the shirt they were wearing which was dirty, covered in muck and blood and fluids he rather wouldn't think of but what privilege did he have for such a wish? 

All he could do was listen to them because after so many years he's come to the understanding that they never had anyone to do such with. He had been forced to live the life he lived now, yes he had cursed God much like this child was cursing him now and had been created into what he is now but Alucard at times wondered just how… his life could have been if none of it happened at all. 

And he was pissed because after all these years it was simply too, fucking late. 

Even so, when they crumbled to their knees in a ball of tears… shaking, hiccuping, Alucard kneeled carefully before them. 

They were so small, so dirty… filthy and yet Alucard couldn't find himself to judge them as he had so cruelly done many, many times now. He couldn't look down on them for being what he was, small and weak and he looks at them with his crimson eyes like the shadow of a wolf in darkness. 

His body could still feel pain, just not as it didn't before he turned. The touches always seemed to linger like ghost touching and caressing him, gripping and squeezing him even when he knew no one else was touching him and at times… he almost seemed to trick himself into telling him he enjoyed it. 

After all who would he be now if he had never ran into the great and famous Ottoman Ruler Sultan Murad ll? The shit stain who had seemed to plague his mind enough to remind him of his origins even after all this fucking time that has passed. Alucard wouldn't be Alucard… if it hadn't been for him… right? 

He was losing his mind. He's been doing so for so long now.

At times his body didn't even feel like his own which was probably why he felt a bit different every time he had the time and chance to choose another. At times such occurrences almost seemed to make him feel better until someone whispered his name, or caressed his body in a way that always seemed to spark his memory in the worst of ways. 

He had never touched himself with those memories on his mind, it made him feel sick and even sicker when he seemed to… wish that he could. Sometimes a heat seemed to boil in his gut and after so many years of using his body for many things he had learned the difference between having actual attraction to someone but even that seemed to make things worse at times.

Knowing he wanted to be touched, needed to be by someone, anyone who actually gave a fuck about him versus knowing that haunting touch of that horrid man who only did so for sick pleasure seemed to drive him into an even deeper whole than he already was in. He's had his lovers, the ones he deemed worthy enough to sleep and bed with but something always lingered and it was starting to feel like something that he would never be able to actually get rid of.

It makes him dread his existence, almost as if he thought that maybe he shouldn't have tested the old bag of shit that they called God. Almost, because even with how empty he felt… he was still rather stubborn. 

It was like pulling at himself and a part of him was tempted at the very idea as he continued to watch that small child cry and sob before him. Distantly it made him think of some small animal pleading to some beast, like a deer in the hold of a wolf. There was fear, the smell of blood and ash in the air around them and yet as they sat here together in this void there also seemed to be a sense of understanding. Even wolves could be weak, even deer could be strong, nothing seemed to make sense but that…it did. 

Alucard found himself coming to a bit of a conclusion of some sort as the voices of the dead whispered to them and for the first time in a long, long time they seemed to actually make sense. 

He was broken. 

So much so that not only had the spirits around him spilled their blood but he had too and it rained over them as well as himself.

He was broken but not alone as he sits here with the many pieces of himself and fragments of humanity.

‘W-Why? Huh?! Why did it have to be like this?! Why did it have to be me!..’ They bawled like the child that they were and always would be because while they were both Alucard they had enough time to become… their own entity as well. 

Crimson eyes stay on them before slowly falling shut and as darkness seems to color his own vision now Alucard reaches out slowly to the child, raising his hands and leading them over before taking hold of them. 

They are a lot smaller than he is now and it's honestly rather interesting seeing such a difference. Alucard almost couldn't believe that he used to be so small considering how he presented himself to others now. He feels them jump under the light touch and he briefly wonders if even that hurts and he thinks to pull his hands away but then slowly, they lift their head and for the first time in this moment between the two of them, they look up at him, their eyes shining with tears and Alucard hadn't realized it until now but his also seemed… wet. 

He's… crying with them? 

He's crying with them. 

He hadn't felt like he'd been able to do such a thing after everything, after so many years, he couldn't even remember the last time he's even felt the itch to let out tears and yet here he was now as those usually smug and cocky eyes seemed to water. 

He takes hold of them though he doesn't have to hold hard as they immediately shuffle closer now as if searching for the comfort they've never been given and who was Alucard to deny them of such right now of all times. It's like they are both deer now or both wolves with Alucard being the buck or leader of the other now, here to comfort them much like a mother or father would do for a sobbing child that they loved and cared for. 

Alucard finds himself with them moving in and clinging to him and his cloak- his garbs that were all black just like the shadows that created his form. They hold him tight, nails digging into what they could and as Alucard sits back on his haunches his moves one arm to slip under their bottom and pull them even closer while his other hand moves to cradle their head, his large hand tangling in messy, inky black hair. The sob they let out at being held so close after all this time is enough to send the mightiest shivers rushing up Alucard’s spine as he clutches them just a bit tighter. 

And who would he be to let them cry alone while they were literally in his arms now? So of course, his own eyes look up to the darkness like clouds over them and as tears well up in his own eyes they slide shut slowly. Tears roll down his own cheeks as he holds them, as they sob ugily into his shoulder, wetting the fabric that seemed to cling to Alucard's body and he doesn't care because being wet with tears was a lot better than being wet with other things right now… The child shakes violently, soft cries turning louder and louder, turning into screaming, kicking and hitting as they seem to become overwhelmed with everything they've been cursed into living with within him and Alucard only seemed to soften, hugging them like he couldn't imagine letting go because he couldn't feel the pain of their little punches and kicks but he could feel the pain that threatened to overwhelm him if he let them go now, to break him if he loosened his grip even the tiniest bit. 

After everything, this felt like nothing. 

He could handle this reaction because no one would understand them but him, either one of them. 

It takes a moment, a few minutes maybe or it could have been a couple hours, Alucard at times could lose track of time in this place not that time seemed to matter in any way to him any more. Either way, the child grows quiet, sniffling and rubbing their face viscously into his chest in pain and angst but even though it hurts, everything hurts, they do seem to like being in his arms and held by him like the small child they are. There's nothing he or they could do after all this time. 

At least, nothing when it came to regaining the innocence that was lost to them, stolen from them but… maybe, a sense of peace could be fromed. Even just a little if… 

He found him. 

…

There, hidden in the crowd shaking like the scared little dog he was. 

And that's exactly how he should feel. 

Alucard slowly opens his eyes once more and turns his gaze in the direction of the piece of shit and he doesn't seem to be the only one as the child lifts their head slowly. Their eyebrows knitted together as an expression on pure rage slowly but surely forms on their lips and once fully there they also turn their gaze to follow Alucard's. 

There he was, the filthy bastard. The shadows and other spirits seeming to flicker and move aside to expose him more to the two and as if he can smell the animosity that suddenly fills the air he perks and comes face to face with the crowd and Alucard in particular. The child seems to reel their teeth back like a rabid dog, fangs sparkling even in such darkness and Alucard feels himself make a similar grimace but there's a sadistic look to his that forms as it always did when he was presented with these moments. That sadistic look that seemed to show up when he was fighting on the battlefield though the idea of controlling himself is nowhere in sight like it would be if he was killing ghouls usually. It's bitter. There's unbridled rage just seeing the man, a taste of something similar to oil of his tongue like bile and when Alucard moves to get to his feet he continues to hold the child but now with his one arm under them as he stands to his full height. 

Immediately Sultan attempts to run, jerking in order to gather himself only to crash to the groud when a hand grabs his ankle roughly. 

It's a phantom hand and not one of Alucard's own per se but one of a spirit in the mass group around them and it dawns on Alucard that they are also… just as furious. 

Sure, many had been beasts who were killed by Alucard because they had to be but those who held similar trauma seemed moved by these things. Seemed just as angry as Alucard was and the child, and for what reasons in particular he wasn't sure but after spending so many years with so many souls only to just now learn them for who they were Alucard knew that he wasn't alone in more than one way as well. There were fellow victims in the group, those who had been so viciously abused by Sultan or by someone who held just as dirty of a soul as his and Alucard could hear their whispers, their words of how he should be punished far worst than simply living here with the rest of them. 

To put it simply. Many wanted to see him be punished like the vile, disgusting creature that he is. 

To be punished like a bad dog, face justice like he was meant to. 

That he should be whipped, strung up, raped just as the others had been and Alucard almost felt better at such words as they grew louder and louder, chanting, hisses and snarls filling the air. Even if some of these spirits had their own reasons for feeling such ways one way or another they all wanted him gone. They didn't want to have to share this same space with a creature like Sultan Murad ll and who was Alucard to make them, who was he to allow this man to love even amongst this place without facing the pain that he had caused upon others. 

Alucard could be rather forgiving however,

He would never forgive this man. 

He couldn't forgive this man. 

Wouldn't even dream of it. 

And so he takes a step, then another and Sultan begins to screech, already begging, pleading for the life that no longer belonged to him… doing so much crying much like Alucard had done all those years ago, over and over again as he repeatedly cried and begged and pleaded. Seeing such a weak display made him snarl, the least Sultan could do was take it like a man. Something he had said many times himself while he was buried in Alucard's small and tormented body and had he ever had mercy? 

No. He hadn't. 

So who would Alucard before to have any on him? 

When he had killed the man Alucard hated the fact that he didn't want him to just die and be blessed with finding himself at the gates at hell so instead bitterly consumed his blood, his sport, his soul just to have him here and just to torment the man just like he had for many others. 

To welcome him to hell while also showing him it in all it's best aspects. 

The spirits clung to the fat bastard as he tried kicking, tried fighting off the hands that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, they dug into his skin and ripped at his clothes until he was just as small and naked and scared as Alucard himself had been and as the great No Life King continued to approach like a giant trailing through a sea of claws and hissing, those spirits made room for him, stepping aside obediently as Alucard made slow steps. Said steps that some how rung out louder that the animalistic sounds around then, even louder then Sultan's screaming which only seemed to get louder as he fought and kicked only to now find himself naked like some wet dog that had been caught in the rain. He tries scooting away, his ass rubbing against the dark floor and his legs kicking and once he's cornered, backed up to a wall like some little bitch, Alucard pauses when he seems to catch the whiff of piss. 

Did he… 

Alucard suddenly snorts, the wild look in his eyes only growing crazier as he finds himself moving his free hand up to his mouth as if to snuff off his own laughter. 

Did Sultan Murad ll fucking piss himself out of pure fear? How precious, of course he did Alucard remembers the smell as disgusting as it is. 

How could he not after all the time the man had seemed to find humor in pissing of him after he'd cum in him, after he had his fill of Alucard's young body. The laugh that fills the air is wild, a loud cackle that rung out and filled the air.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Alucard now speaks and the child in his arms jumps a little thought they look at him with sparkling eyes almost as if in awe at that reaction.

“After all this time you can't even fight back?! You can't even bother to get to your feet?!” He giggles as all eyes turn on him and then back to the man who seemed to be shaking in a pool of his own piss. Hell, Alucard hadn't even been aware that the spirits even could piss themselves after dying and yet here he was being proven wrong in the faces of so many. “How pathetic.. You've even allowed yourself to be stripped like some corner whore.” He says, his voice dripping with venom as he continues to storm forward and a few shadows shift and stir behind him, revealing themselves as being his dogs. The shadows that he used so often when it came to killing those who truly deserve it and to say the least, they were starving. Itching the sink whatever teeth and limbs that they could into the man and Alucard could feel them waiting for his permission. 

“Should I allow you to be treated like one too? To be raped and used from every orfis like they are?” He asks with a voice so hauntingly chilling that the room feels icy on impact. 

I-I'm so sorry.. I never.. 

Sultan's voice suddenly cries out and Alucard finishes crossing the space between them with a few sudden and big steps which literally made the man yelp and try to squeeze himself into a ball as if he'd be granted access to hide. But no, not here, never here. He deserved to be seen, to be judge, ostracized like the filth that he was and if Alastor was the judge than he would judge this made and he was justice so of course he wouldn't offer him the mercy that he begs for now.

He even tries to meet Alucard before Alucard gets to him as some weak, pitiful attempt at being heard out, listened to and when Alucard stands right before him the man scrambled to his hands in knees. 

F-Forgive me! Please forgive me. 

Sultan Murad ll says while fucking sobbing, even attempting to move and kiss at Alucard's feet. He plants one and shakily looks up to Alucard to see it's affect on to be faced with… nothing. Not even the smile which had been there a moment ago as sharp, crimson eyes looks down at him like shit on the side of the street. 

Quickly the man moves down to give another kiss only to gasp and a foot connects harshly with his jaw, kicking hard enough to knock him back on his ass and make his head spin. His vision is blurred for a second and there's a ringing in his ears and it takes him a minute to realize that he was bleeding everywhere from his nose which was fractured. It's like they weren't even dead. He hadn't expected to be able to feel such pain in the afterlife and now after quite literally getting a taste the man breathes quickly and heavily, cupping his hands under his chin to uselessly try and catch the red crimson which was leaking from him like a faucet. His hands shaking horribly as he slowly looks up and meets Alucard's vicious gaze. 

“Don't touch me. You are the very last people I want touching me and you… know that.” Alucard says with a snarl as he now takes the time to lean down and place the child on the floor and understandably so, they hide behind Alucard for protection, not that they actually had anything to fear. They hid but not so much so that they couldn't see. 

They wanted to see the show too after all.  

“Those dirty lips, those filthy lips and you think that I want them on me after everything I've gone through thanks to you?” He hisses and the only reason he doesn't lunge at the man himself is because he doesn't need to, he had all these eyes around them right now, if you didn't tear him apart than someone else surely would. 

“I wouldn't even drink your blood if it was the last bit on this shit fucking rock we call Earth. Don't. Touch. Me.”

He wants to grab him and throw him so hard on the group that his body would basically burst open with broken bones and limbs on impact but Alucard felt done with this trash, this waste of a human soul. And so, he simply scoffs, moving to turn away, gathering that small child in his arms once more and they happily allow him with a little smile forming on their face. Just seeing this was enough to calm them, was enough to give them vengeance, just seeing this man… practically smelling his fear in the air was enough to heal something deep within them.

Alucard however…

Didn't seem to change as he pulls them up and allows them to look over his shoulder at the view, holding them closely and even rubbing their back a little. And with a hum and a short whistle from his lips the spirits around them seem to suddenly jumping at the man startling with the hellhounds who didn't waste any time rushing forward, hungry. 

Jaws snap down everywhere they can, fangs and claws tearing into flesh and spilling blood as Sultan screams in agony. 

He probably had thought this wouldn't be painful but it was anything but as the hounds tossed him to the ground, and they cries and pleads only seem to continue. They filled the air like music and when the other spirits joined in, rushing to see just what they could get their hands on and tear into, Alucard hums. 

There is a bit of satisfaction. 

Especially when the man is faced with not just being torn apart but groped at as well, touched fondled. 

Alucard wouldn't stop them and as his younger self watches with wide eyes he continues to hold them close as if they were his own child, one he created and to be honest… they basically were. He formed them every day, had been in this space with them alone for so many long and painful years. 

No one knew them like he did. 

And no one would know him as much as them. 

Which was perfectly fine. Screams soon turn to cries, crimson on the floor soon finds itself blending in with semen, cum as the man was used but not only those starving spirits but the hellhounds too. Over and over again like some whore, some slut, just like he had done to so many others. 

There's a sense of peace that fills the air over all the sobbing, the crying, the laughing and Alucard finds himself feeling even more so introspective then he had originally. Coming to the conclusion that even this didn't feel like enough to pay for it all. 

However, the child in his arms seemed to brighten, shining like a start as they watched this show. It's the brightest Alucard has ever seen them, it's such a pure look that he never thought he'd be able to see in this world and it's warm. So warm, like the shining sun and before Alucard can stop himself he falls to his knees, clutching the child tighter now and burying his head in his shoulder. 

The child squeaks and looks at him carefully and he's shaking, it clicks now that Alucard has finally broken, shedding tears from those beautiful crimson eyes of his and they still still for a moment but a soft smile forms on their lips. 

Slowly, gently, they move to wrap their own arms around him now, hugging him close and Alucard sobs under the touch. 

He's been to this place so many times now and never has he felt like this, never had everything just made… sense, and it was overwhelming having spent so many years with this pain. Trying to hold on to it and deal with it on his own but the thing was that Alucard was anything but alone and they were with him as much as he was with them and no matter how much he tries to ignore them, avoid them, hate them. 

And Alucard found himself very grateful for them as he continues to let out tears that had been trapped in him for so, so long and they let him with a smile on their face. 

“Thank you.” 

They whisper now against Alucard while gently rubbing his back now much like he had done with him as he clung to them like a child would with their favorite toy. 

It's like he had finally felt something new, different from what he's been stuck with filling for all this time and he tried to handle such an overload of emotions but simply couldn't. 

“Thank… you.”

Alucard says back now while nosing at them, shaking a little less now as they rubbed them and held him close. Never having cried over all of this was one thing but having someone to cry with? Was definitely another. 

It's relieving. 

Like popping a balloon full of water, and as blood spills behind them Alucard allows himself to but wash with every emotion. And as he continues to cry he feels a wave of euphoria knowing that he's suddenly found a better reason to continue this life of his. 

When he pulls back from the void he finds you next to him. Resting calmly against his shoulder, sleeping soundly it seemed. You had been working with him enough now that you two had built a bound and sometimes, you definitely tested your luck and this was definitely one of those times. A tear falls from his eyes, then another because why… are you here? Greeting him after he just took such a journey within himself. 

You were so little next to him, so… sweet and kind and Alucard would be lying if he said that he didn't find himself fond of you. 

Your bright eyes, and soft lips, smooth skin.. and with such beauty you were also… kind. So caring and loving and it suddenly makes sense as the why you're also here with him right now, practically tucked into his cloak. You must've worried for him. When the two of you met you seemed to nervous, so hesitant and as… cute as it was it was clear you tended to keep a distance from him so.. being here with him now, had to mean you weren't scared enough not to lay and take a nap right next to him and that makes him… smile a little.

He looks down at you for a moment, admiring your lashes and soft cheeks and the way you chest rose and fell slowly and without much other thought he wipes his eyes of their tears and slowly, carefully leans down to place a soft kiss to your forehead. His lips were soft, careful, against her warm skin and he could easily pick up on her natural scent. When he pulls back you stir a little, just a tiny bit and Alucard chuckles, moving his arm in a way for it to slip around you easier and pull you even closer. He goes back to resting his head, leaning it back to look up at the ceiling before slowly letting them fall shut and for the first time in a long time his heart felt…

Light. 

~

[otomiyaa]

Re: Catching Up

Finally reading the reblogs and mentions of my tag game (my main reason for starting that was to read about what y'all are up to while I neglected tha dashboard lolol) and dumping some replies here to some peeps I follow^^

General note to all: so happy to see the multiple excited reactions to Inside Out 2 hehehe, I loved it so much T0T

@crazy-as-a-jaybird THE SIMS 4 LOVESTRUCK!!!!! I didn't know that was coming! I haven't played the sims in a long time, but gee that's exciting news, thnx! ..... I wonder if there will be some nice loveydovey tickle animations in there....

@italeean "You guys probably already know what I'll say" (about Jujutsu Kaisen 0 movie), actually I don't know 👀 it's been a while since I saw that movie when it was released in the cinema here, but you made me curious to your reaction. What did you think? :3

@giggly-squiggily omg Blue Lock & Haikyuu hypehype and did you also love to see these lazy gamer guys Kenma and Nagi dominate the big screens as heroes to their respective movies, so shortly after each other, what a time to be alive 🤩

@fantasizes-tickles-daily My Adventures with Superman ng;dngifdgjdhljfni;oji I still need to start the new season but omfg I'm so glad finally someone else is into this hehehe, I love that! I'm also not a big DC fan, I didn't even see most movies, but I LOVE THIS ONE. Clark is the cutest isn't he?

@eliankrios YOU PLAY THE SIMS 4????? 👀 also thank you for those banger song recs. I only knew 'save my life' from xandria but not valentine or others :3

@wertzunge Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, I saw that one on the plane a while ago, I enjoyed that too!!! I wonder if they will do more :3 I never played the game though....

@tiklart SHARK MOVIE SUFFERERS WE ARE HAHA, also good luck on your exams!🫶 sending good luck vibes~

@gladdygirl18 ❤️❤️❤️ sending good love life prayers, hope all will go well! and yay for fellow minecraft enjoyer :D

@sunstone-smiles I LOVE ESPRESSO odjs;dgjhih ih but I didn't like it at first either :') it had to grow on me too.

@kusuguricafe seeing you talk about your genshin abyss teams makes me go ���💀💀 it's been so long since I played genshin, especially abyss. Are you managing the 3 stars each chamber f12 cuz I've only succeeded like once at it or smth. oh and I hope you'll have fun writing again soon! Don't push yourself too much for tickletober, as long as it stays fun*w*

@blobbirobbi wow I knew all 3 of those artists but not those songs, thnx for the recs :D especially the Måneskin hohoho

@sleepysheepytea feels indeed like ages since I saw your activity on my dash, wishing you the best of luck with work and stuff^^

@hypahticklish that was literally my reaction too to the movie The Fall Guy, I loved that so much and you described it so well 😍 I thought it would be a "Haha funny" movie but it really moved me and I also didn't expect the first part to be so emotional. p.s. thnx for the blank copy paste, sorry for forgetting 🥲🥲

@a-fluffer-nutter wow good luck on the move to the UK and congrats on 8 years tumblr, I still remember you being one of the first tk blogs i encountered 😌

@lovelymessybubbly wooow it feels like AGES, sorry to hear about the low mental energy but hope you're doing well ^^!

[thelunarfairy]

Hi Lunarfairy!!! I've been following you for a long time and reading your posts is really intriguing, I love them!!

Since you're really good at deducing and creating theories about jshk, I wanted to ask you about some of the points that intrigue me a lot and what do you think about it.

So, the first question and point I've been thinking about lately is the yugi parents, I would like to know so much more about them, especially about their relationship with the twins and what led them to be careless (heavily implied), and not only that, I honestly would like to know more about them and how they reflect their twins, I like to think that there is some symbolism in the way they dress (the father who dresses western like hanako and the mother who dresses traditional like tsukasa) now I know that the father dresses like this because in the 50s Western fashion was taking hold but I like to think that there are some symbolisms intended by the aidairo, maybe for indicate some similarities of twins with their parents, idk.

Then another obvious thing that i wonder is if mom yugi continued with the "he's not my son" until the end and if this led to the split in the family, i don't know but she seems genuinely stubborn about what she believes she's right about , and in the end there's no way you can blame her, there really was something wrong with tsukasa, she just lacked the right information to get to the truth, i think anyway that the relationship with her husband will start to go badly precisely because of this obstinacy of hers, I don't know if mr yugi can agree with her.

Anyway, Jshk lately it's all becoming a question haha

Good dayyy 🧡

Awwwwww how sweet!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS!!! >.< THIS MADE ME HAPPY!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Well, the twins' parents have always intrigued me, we have little information about them so far, but what it seems is that Tsukasa was treated differently according to the periods, between before and after he was possessed by the entity.

His behavior changed, and I'm not going to point out that it happened only because of the entity, remember that the red house has its own flow of time, Tsukasa saw a lot of things there.

Regarding the mother, we see that she was very present in the twins' lives, she was apparently affectionate and caring towards him, with no signs of any kind of mistreatment here. She loved her children, and was doing everything she could to try to save Amane and comfort Tsukasa.

But, her behavior changed, especially after his return. We saw that she was crying when she met Tsukasa again, but later she noticed that there was something "wrong" with him.

She was still trying to save Tsukasa. Imagine, a mother who was previously suffering with her eldest son, because he had a terminal illness. And now that she managed to save one, she had lost the other, who, when he returned, came back possessed by something.

She fought to save Tsukasa too, but this time she couldn't. She was desperately trying to get the exorcists to save her son. We don't know if she started treating Tsukasa rudely or indifferently, or even with fear.

Perhaps we can deduce that she has started to treat him in a similar way to Amane, perhaps a little less intense. She is his mother, and here too the thought "is he or isn't he the real Tsukasa?" is floating around.

And about how much someone can truly love another person. Yako said that even when you become a supernatural, no matter how much you change, you are still you.

This is the theme of JSHK. Would Tsukasa's mother still love him, even if he were in another form or acting differently?

Something that Amane has been struggling with in his thoughts. I don't know if their mother gave up on Tsukasa (probably not, since he only reached 12 years of age), or if she insisted until the end.

I believe that her behavior towards him must have changed, but that (thinking positively) she did not abandon him.

Her clothes make me associate the issue of sacrifices. Since she is a young woman and dresses in traditional clothing, she resembles the Kannagis. I don't know if I can say that she took that place at some point, but I don't doubt the possibility. She died, but didn't she become a supernatural?

We have even less information about their father. We saw him a few times, specifically on the twins' birthday and when they met Tsukasa again.

He seems to be loving towards the twins, but we didn't see how he reacted to Tsukasa's change in behavior. Knowing that he is an apparently loving father is something that exempts him (for now) from having been abusive or negligent towards the boys.

Considering the information we have, we may see the opposite in the future.

We don't see the father mentioned again. Regarding his clothing, again, it makes me associate it with the concept of sacrifice. We see a connection here between their parents' clothing and theirs, as you mentioned.

Tsukasa dresses in traditional clothing. The mother dresses in traditional clothes.

Amane wears ordinary clothes.

The father wears ordinary clothes.

Kannagi and the one who sacrifices her to make a wish.

Still, it could refer to the connection between children and their parents. Despite this, Tsukasa seems to have more fun with his father, while Amane has more fun with his mother.

So, the family probably stayed together until the end, since it was reported that it was a "family suicide"

They were together, but the question we have to ask is:

"How did they behave towards Tsukasa after his return?"

For now, these are the thoughts I have about them.

I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for the ask! >.<

Good dayyy for you toooo sweetie 🧡

[satureja13]

Jack is disenchanted and disappointed. As exciting as it was to talk to Tiny Can, he'd expected more of the AI Therapist.

Sai went back to sleep again, he's exhaused from crying and reliving his worst memories. And Ji Ho and Jack decided to play a bit. But the only 'game' available is a boring puzzle... Jack: "Oh my, I don't know what's more boring. This puzzle or our therapy... Have they never heard about gamification? Or fun? Or to make it a bit more interesting?" Ji Ho agreed. Though the insight about Vlad and his own locked away feelings was interesting. Maybe he should follow and explore these thoughts a bit deeper.

Suddenly Saiwa was wide awake: "What did you just say, Jack?"

Jack: "Uh - probably something wrong? You finish the puzzle, Ji Ho, I go and run."

Saiwa: "No! That's actually brilliant!

Gamification! The Game!!!

We combine the AI with our game and make it a Therapy Game!" Jack and Ji Ho: "..." (Haha you can see how Jack and Ji Ho's brains are working ^^') Saiwa: "And not just for us - for other creatures too! This would have been so helpful when we'd been so scared and alone! And who knows? This could be a sucess and we'd make money to pay Rubyn and the others back!" We barely get to see Saiwa this excited ^^' But here some of his main interests meet, his love for games and computers - and being there for others and help them.

Vlad went back home to grab Saiwa, Jack and Ji Ho's content they'd already had created for their game over the last months and then they started their epic gathering to develop the:

For the computer game they'd planned, Jack already made the concept art and design, Vlad wrote and Ji Ho composed the music and soundscapes. They are going to feed all this to Tiny Can and see what kind of 'gamification therapy' he'll create. How exciting! (For me it really is! Imagine this: a game that also is a therapy - supported by an AI! How amazing would that be if you could see the things that make you suffer from a distance and you'd find solutions for them by doing insightful AND funny AND interesting quests! You'd gain helpful new habits and get rid of unhealthy ones by playing a game! Where I live it's so hard to find a therapy place. We have to wait up to a year -.- I do have high hopes in AI. You could go by your own pace. And you wouldn't even have to leave the house!)

After a very long gathering, Ji Ho and Jack relaxed in the hot tub. Jack's pain is thanking him. They sat silent for quite a while, lost in their thoughts. Very unusual for Jack, but his brain is running on hyper speed now. He's so excited :3 And Ji Ho was pondering about his locked down feelings. The Bond made it easy for him to love Luci. They had a whole different approach to each other. While his relationship with Vlad was doomed from the beginning (their story in (kind of ^^') short -> here).

The only ocassions where Ji Ho was really comfortable with Vlad was, when they touched and made love. And this is also a benefit of the Bond and Luci because Ji Ho hated being touched in the beginning. After all he'd seen at the House of the rising Sun in the slums of Sulani. But Luci had approached him slowly and tenderly. Ji Ho shared his thoughts with Jack: "Do you think this might be a way to become more comfortable with Vlad and finally be able to love him? And to find my buried down feelings?" Jack: "I think that's brilliant! At least one of us learned something in that therapy. When you charge the Bond later, just try a bit more and we'll see how it goes."

A little later Vlad came down: "Uhm, I'm leaving now. The Bond..."

Ji Ho left the hot tub and went over to Vlad to charge the Bond - and try his new theory... They embraced each other as usual and then Ji Ho tried to kiss Vlad.

But Vlad moved his head aside and whispered: "I want nothing more than you - but not like this." Vlad's breath ghosted over Ji Ho's still wet skin and made him shiver.

Vlad still has his principles - not to forget his foolish pride. No way he's going to have a plain physical relationship with Ji Ho - without love. There is no 'two out of three ain't bad' or 'it's better than nothing' in Vlad's world ^^' Only 'it's all or nothing'. He would do anything for Ji Ho, but he won't - and can't do that. It would break him apart. That does not mean it was easy for him to not give in and leave. Vlad really is the master of self control ö.ö

And then Vlad left. Ji Ho seems a bit piqued after Vlad's rejection ^^'

'I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me Girl, you just don't realize What you do to me

When you hold me In your arms so tight You let me know Everything's all right

I'm hooked on a feeling I'm high on believing That you're in love with me'

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede from the OST of Guardians of the Galaxy I

Outtakes

He will be mine, oh yes, he will be mine.

Yang Mal: "Can we grill our corncobs now?" 🌽 Saiwa: "Uhm - sure ö.Ö'"

Ji Ho checking the mail... 📬 Who might have sent that letter when Ji Ho looks like that?

Tyalindo watching the sun set 🌅

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[cyberrose2001]

hi hope you're well, a kinda long text coming...

with all the requests FILLED (literally) with joy with optimus, I shall be the one to break it HAHAHA so... can you do like a scenario where the reader and optimus are happy living their lives with the sparklings (imagine triplets!!!) everything is perfect but then........

optimus wakes up from his dream and realizes it all, the perfect family is not real, the reader is not alive, not being able to live with it, he suffers everyday bc of those dreams, he traps himself in this "reality" of his dreams (like that episode fr tfp on Megatron's mind) and isolate himself

hope that's not to sad >:) and if you're comfortable writing this, if not sorry.

Thank you author ❤️❤️❤️

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

you're very welcome anon!! this took waaaay too many drafts HAHA but im quite happy with it now, this is such a sad concept and now i just wanna give op a hug :(

I should also mention that I left the details of the sparklings biology unspecified. Whether you prefer them to be cybertronian, human or half-and-half is up to you! <3

Warnings: Angst, SFW

Word count: 1436

“Optimus, honey?” The wonderful voice of his lover called out to him. Closing the front door behind him, Optimus breathes a sigh of relief. Her soft voice calling out his name plays on repeat in his processor. “Is that you? Could you come and help me for a second?”

He had no idea how he got so lucky, to start a family with who he considers the most beautiful specimen in the known universe. Together, they both created three sparklings, all triplets and it was further proof that either Primus or another deity of life had seen the good that Optimus had done and blessed him with both her and sparklings. The day he found out that she was pregnant with them was the first time in his life that he experienced pure joy, the second time was when she gave birth to his little ones and officially became a sire.

With a soft smile, Optimus follows her voice to the playroom of the quaint house he calls home. He is thankful that mass displacement technology exists, allowing him to comfortably live in the house with his family. He observes from the doorway as his sparklings play with stuffed toys and little building blocks, making an absolute mess of the room. He clears his throat and leans against the doorway with folded servos, “I hope you young ones are going to help your mother with cleaning up.”

Three small heads perk up at the voice of their sire, all of them dropping their toys and bouncing over to him. He kneels down and gives his two sons a strong hug, pecking them both on the heads with kisses.

“Daddy!” The last born of the three calls out to him. Optimus chuckles softly as he opens his arms for her, embracing her close to his chassis. Now Optimus is not the one to pick favourites with his sparklings and loves them all equally, but his only daughter was the first one to hug him whenever he came home. She was also the one who took the most interest in his stories of when he was the great leader of the Autobots, constantly begging for her sire to re-tell them as a bedtime story, with the more graphic details left out. It makes the inner archivist within Optimus swell with pride that at least one of his sparklings has taken a liking to the history of his home planet.

“Hello, my sweetspark.” Optimus nuzzles his faceplate to her nose, enjoying the little giggles that erupted from her. He picks her up and places her on his hip, a servo supporting her under her bottom, “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah! Look what I do!” His toddler babbles as she points to a large tower made out of the small plastic blocks. It wasn’t very impressive by Cybertronian standards of what sparklings can do, but it doesn’t matter to Optimus, he will gush over anything that his kids build or draw in order to expand their creativity.

“Did you build that?” Optimus smiles at her, “How clever of you, honey.”

She nods eagerly, a big grin on her face, “Mommy helped!”

“Did she?” He looks towards his wife who was kneeled on the floor, stomach swollen with the life of another sparkling. She was sorting out the seemingly endless pile of toys that was thrown about on the floor. Optimus can’t help but admire his wifes devotion to their children, playing with them even when heavily pregnant. The incredible and important job of being a mother is something that Optimus has learned and respected during his time on Earth, especially after witnessing it firsthand.

“I did, now could you help me get up off the floor?” She chuckles, a hand rubbing her pregnant stomach.

Optimus carefully steps over the toys to walk over to her. He offers his servo and she graciously took it, pulling her up off the floor. She huffs a little bit and tries to catch her breath, bent knees trying to brace the weight of her unborn child.

“Thank you, love.” She sighs, lightly tracing the servo that still held onto her hand, “You would think I’d learn from my previous pregnancy to not get on the floor.”

Optimus laughs softly, readjusting his daughter on his hip, “It is probably not the wisest decision.”

She laughs, reminiscing the memory of her stuck on the floor while she was pregnant with the triplets, and he can feel himself falling in love with her all over again. She is absolutely glowing, and Optimus can’t help but bask in her natural beauty. Leaning forward, he presses a chaste kiss to her lips, smiling through it as he hears their sparklings protest as most children do when they see their parent’s smooch, “Yucky, Daddy!”

 He pulls away from the kiss and brushes a servo across the tight skin of her stomach, feeling the little kicks of their soon-to-be newborn. Optimus doesn’t want to jinx anything yet, but he prays to Primus that it is another little girl.

She smiles and places her own hand on top of his, sharing the moment together. But Optimus does not notice that her smile faltered for a second.

“Optimus, you know that this can’t last forever.” His wife whispers quietly so that the sparkling he held can’t hear.

Optimus perks his helm up to look at her, confusion plastered on his face, his gentle caresses on her stomach halting for a moment, “What cannot last forever?”

She reaches a soft hand out to caress his faceplates, a small tear threatening to spill down her flushed cheeks. Despite being incredibly confused at his wife’s turn of behaviour, Optimus felt a need to comfort her and returns the gesture to wipe her own tears away.

“It’s not healthy for you… you need to wake up.”

Taking a step back, digits leave her face as he nearly trips on the carpet. The words that just left your lips made his spark sink to the floor. There was no way that Optimus was dreaming, he refused to believe, not when everything that has happened within the last few months felt so real and genuine. As quick as he felt his spark sink, the cosy home that surrounded his family began to crumble and disappear around him, falling into an endless cold void. The weight of his daughter on his hip was no longer there. The softness of his wife’s hand had disappeared. Optimus was left with nothing but the darkness of his empty mind. And at that point, Optimus felt his own optics lubricate and fall down into the void, the last echoes of his wife reaching his audial receptors.

“Optimus…”

“Optimus.”

“Optimus!”

Optics snap open, scanning the ceiling above him. In an instant, he sits up right on the berth below and vents heavily. He looks around carefully at his environment and realises that he is in his berthroom on the Autobot base, it feels lifeless.

“Hey, hey, take it easy.” A gentle yet firm voice reassures and pushes him back onto the berth, “I heard a distress signal from your internal instruments, is everything alright?”

Optimus recognises Ratchet, but the old bots words are drowned out by his processor running on overdrive. His wife, his sparklings, and his unborn little one are no-where to be found. Frantic optics flicker around every inch of the emptiness of his berthroom, hoping and wishing that they would be waiting just outside the room or hiding somewhere, playing that fun earth game called hide-and-seek that he enjoyed playing with his sparklings.

Ratchet notices the distant look in his friend’s optics and places a servo on his shoulder to try and ground him to the present, “Optimus, you’re fine, it seems as if you have just experienced a nightmare.”

His grip on the berth was hard. That was no nightmare. That was his life, a life that has now been taken away from him as a cruel punishment. All Optimus had ever wanted was right there in his grasp. He didn’t care about his friends, and he didn’t care about the Autobot cause anymore.

He just wants his family back.

“It was not.” Optimus whispers out, vocaliser stuttering. He knew Ratchet wouldn’t understand the monumental loss that he had just suffered, but Optimus could not deal with his old friend at this point in time. Just as Ratchet was about to question him, Optimus lets out a pained sob.

“Please…” He held his helm in his servos as lubricant began leaking from his optics once again, “Just leave me be.”

[ssruis]

My personal take on the tsukasa + toya dynamic is that like. Tsukasa helped toya a lot by giving him the familial warmth & unwavering support that he was not getting from his own family & encouraged toya to do what HE wanted to do with his own life instead of following what his dad wanted when he didn’t enjoy it, as well as kinda being toya’s only source of normalcy and activities outside of the piano as a kid. It’s not a stretch to say that Tsukasa changed Toya’s life for the better (causing him to meet Akito, discover what he’s actually passionate about, meet VBS, actually communicate with and stand up to his dad) and saved him from a future he would hate, it’s literally stated by Toya. Multiple times. & tsukasa still continues to be a huge supporter of toya and does his best to care for him. This stuff is made obvious over and over again -

(Tsukasa’s Kamiyama festival card story)

(Kamiyama festival)

- but toya also helped tsukasa a lot when they were kids too, even if it’s a bit less obvious (only stated outright in one card story iirc). Toya mentions not actually seeing Saki a lot when he was younger, as she was in and out of the hospital

(NGUC)

So it was typically just him and Tsukasa. Tsukasa’s entire dream in life was sparked by seeing how happy a play made saki, and his strange (said fondly) personality in the present day is because he was constantly trying to make her happy with shows/acting when they were kids. Realized it cheered saki up when he put on the Future World Star personality -> constantly acting/emulating the actors he saw on stage or on tv to make saki (and later toya) happy at a formative age -> it gets baked into his personality -> now it’s not even an act it’s just how he is. It’s incurable. (Not a bad thing, just something that explains why he’s such a freak)

A large part of tsukasa’s identity is also being a big brother, which is made really difficult when you’re separated from your little sister constantly, she’s often suffering and miserable, and there’s nothing you can do to help her. As he mentions frequently, her happiness is a priority for him (sorry you’re gonna have to trust me on that one if you for some reason doubt that. Image limit. You understand. One example of many is in one of Saki’s birthday cards.)

And as hard as it was for Tsukasa to be powerless in that situation, it was way harder for Saki, because she was the one in pain/seriously ill/hospitalized throughout a large portion of her childhood. She mentions that she forced herself not to cry in front Tsukasa as a kid so he wouldn’t be upset (doll festival), and while it was happy tears in that situation it’s a safe bet that she tried to do it with any negative emotions too - but she was also suffering & acting happy all the time in that situation would be impossible for an adult, let alone a small child.

(Toya’s doll festival card story)

Tsukasa couldn’t help Saki, but he could help Toya, and through that he was able to help himself/feel a little better. He could cheer Saki up, but that was about the extent of what he could do - he couldn’t stay in the hospital with her or ease her pain or take away her illness. Toya needed a friend/older brother figure/escape from his dad, which Tsukasa actually could provide. I feel like there was definitely some transference there where Tsukasa (unconsciously) just took all the big brotherisms he couldn’t do with Saki and redirected them towards Toya. Which, again, isn’t a bad thing, because he *was* helping toya through this, they formed a genuine strong bond, and it helped him deal with his emotions. + saki got a bonus brother to play with when she was home.

I think people want to water their relationship down to just “haha tsukasa adopts people as his siblings” which isn’t even true* and ignores the very specific set of circumstances that led to Tsukasa considering Toya his younger brother, and the circumstances that led to Toya seeing Tsukasa as an older brother figure, as well as the fact that they’ve known each other for like a decade at this point AND the fact that their parents are close friends.

Their relationship is so strong because it is built off of them both helping each other, not because Tsukasa randomly saw a sad kid and went “you’re my brother now.” Which is also why I’m not a fan of [x random character] is a tenma.** Plus, does saki’s relationship with that character not also matter? Toya’s relationship with Saki is a pretty big part of why he’s considered a part of the family***, even if he’s not as close to her as he is to tsukasa.

*In Tsukasa’s head a star is a good big brother and given that both of those things are deeply entrenched in his personality, he mother hens his friends & does his best to act like a responsible and reliable person towards everyone. As I’ve mentioned before, Wxs KAITO is a reflection of Tsukasa’s ideal self (reliable big brother/leader figure) - nobody says KAITO is adopting siblings left and right (wrt the other vocaloids/wxs). Notably, irrc, wxs KAITO & normal KAITO both desire to be seen as a reliable big brother figure by others, but as a general thing and not a “this guy is literally my brother” thing. Tsukasa is the same situation. He likes to provide a good example for his juniors because that’s what he believes a star should do, which is also why he gets so irritated about Rui “tarnishing his reputation” whenever they get in trouble, and what prompted him to join the disciplinary committee in his third year after hearing underclassmen be like wow the 1-2 oddball finish are so wacky & crazy. Acting like a big brother =/= literally adopting people as siblings.

** you do you though if you enjoy those head canons more power to you. It’s just not my thing (known canon purist).

*** give me like 10 minutes I have stuff to say about that as well that will have to go in a reblog. Image limit strikes again.

[coldmori]

my brain thought of an ending to coldmori

rant:

tw in tags

mari only sees everyone suffering and slowly dying so as a final resort she uses the horror of the forms they see her to drive everyone to kill themselves (mercy kill)

in this, i imagine some headspace shit went down, few lore things happen, sunny wakes up, and the only person hes able to see "alive" is maybe basil or kel

basil wouldve already slitted his wrists and would just be waiting to die

sunny cant really save basil, basil refuses saving, but he can sit with him until he dies

in an alternate reality sunny goes to see kel

he'd find kel in a drug induced comatose

sunny can find a note on kels desk addresed to him aswell as other letters to his mom, dad, hero, sally (for when she gets older), aubrey, basil, and mari

sunnys note:

"you made it out! im so happy you're reading this Sunny! man its been such a long time! i hope you remeber me! it's your old friend, kel!

when are you reading this? is it DECADES into the future? is it tommorow?

what do you think of all the new tech and stuff! im sure you got real confused if you ever saw a brand new phone! haha

what's your new house like? where did you move too? does it snow there as much as it does here? ha i bet not!!!

i hope you arent too upset that im gone, well, i mean not yet im not, but, y'know, you probably already know what happened since you're a future man!

i wanted to see you so bad while i was here, Sunny. I dont blame you, i would've done the same thing if i lost hero or sally!

oh btw, how's sally? hows she look now in the future? does she remeber me? i dont remeber anything from when i was a baby but maybe sally is a secret genius!

you're my best friend, and you cant see it, but im probably right beside you right now, so happy

id never leave your side buddy! God wouldnt dare pull me from you!

i hope not."

(back of page)

"hey Sunny theres one thing i forgot to tell you, i've been having a lot of back and forth in my mind as to whether or not i should say this but

when will i get another chance? haha

please dont tell anyone! it's my dying wish!!!

but uhm...

(theres a noticable amount of erased text making this part hard to read)

i remeber feeling different with you when we where kids, from aubrey or basil, kim, mikael...

everyone, you get the point

it was like, a good different, like "Sunny is so cool that no one else compares" different

and as i grew up i kept, like, feeling more different, and i think i knew after the first year of waiting for you but your parents and my parents, and the whole town is christian yknow and the elders esspecially, i always hear them say that one verse and

i think you know where this is going...

please forgive me Sunny,

but i am in love with you.

it feels weird to say

i dont know how to continue saying things after this

uhm well

goodbye then

i love you

- kel

p.s. dont follow after me. please."

sunny will find kel in his bed, he was hours too late, kels parents still think he's sleeping

if sunny brings his violin after reading the note he will play something for kel,

i like to think kel could hear it

and thats the ending !!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🪅🪅

[koolades-world]

Hello! Congrats on 2k followers!!! I’ll be honest, with the way you write so beautifully I really assumed you might have had 5k if not more :0! But, I’m sure it’ll happen quickly without any of us noticing! Anyway! I was thinking of Satan x shy fem! MC who actually confesses to him!! I’m thinking that in one of Asmo’s Friday night games Asmo dares MC to kiss someone who she would date. So she bashfully gives Satan a soft cheek kiss and runs off to the planetarium. When she realises Satan’s presence near her, she spills her heart out using prompts 6 and 36! Prompt 6 to explain her initial attraction to him, and prompt 36 after listing out and explaining the things she loves about him (seeking knowledge, gentle nature, observant, considerate, you know it all!! :))! Sorry if it’s too long, you can cut out any details you don’t like or think are too tedious or completely change it to any other plot you like!

Have a lovely day/night!

thank you!! great to see you again :)) been working on your other request but i'm not sure when i'll have it ready haha

no worries about being too specific and whatnot, it helps me since I don’t actually need to come up with the idea on my own haha. the concept is very cute! you know me, I could rant about all the things I love about satan so actually that part might just be me speaking haha

asmo have friday game nights is SO real I think I may need to expand on that concept later. monopoly is 100% banned in that household, but we can save that fun stuff for later

enjoy <3

prompts 6 and 36 w/ Satan

Despite how busy the household might get during the week, Friday evenings were typically reserved for game nights, hosted and organized by Asmo. It started off as something small with just himself and you because they actually wanted to play games, Mammon because he was simply following you, and Levi because he saw an opportunity to show off. After that, it began to develop and take on a life of its own.

As more people joined, things needed to be more coordinated. Food had to be ordered or turns needed to be taken on who was making what, a schedule of what was going to be played had to be made, and even a seating schedule so nobody would argue over who got to sit next to you.

Tonight, the group would be playing something a little different. In all honesty, it seemed like the perfect game. It didn't require anything but the players themselves, and didn't have a limit to how many could play. Unfortunately, that game was the bane of your existence: truth or dare. You didn't have the heart to tell Asmo of all the horrors that games had brought you when you were younger. But, you'd never missed a game night and it wasn't about to start now. Who know, you might even enjoy it.

So, you took your seat in the circle against your better judgment. Today, you were seated between Satan and Diavolo. Diavolo was always very into the games, but sitting next to Satan made you nervous. Not because of his rage, but because of the effect of being near him had on you. After coming to the realization that you had a crush on him, being around him got so much harder, but you didn't want to disrupt the schedule. It was only one night, you thought you could power through it.

The night was a blur, and the only thing you could focus on was how close you were to Satan. You were squished next to him on the couch, and every time you touched, you felt almost stunned. You could only hoped nobody else noticed your suffering. Unfortunately for you, Asmo never missed that kind of thing and decided he was ready to be your matchmaker, if you'd take the chance.

"Mc! You haven't said anything yet. I'm honestly surprised nobody else has called on you yet. So, truth or dare?" Asmo's words shook you out of your stupor. You sat and thought for a moment about his question. He'd for sure use truth against you in some way, like asking who your favorite brother was. That would start a war. So, instead you opted for dare, hoping he'd just ask to use you as a living mannequin.

"Dare, I guess?" You nervously glanced around. You would have thought at this point you would've grown used to the stares of many eyes at once, but it still never failed to make you nervous.

"I dare you to give a kiss to somebody you would date. Preferably me." He puckered up. Of course you knew your answer, but did you have the courage? The easy way out would be giving Asmo the kiss, but that wouldn't be true to your heart. You could feel the gazes of the others trained on your every move, silently hoping you'll pick them.

"Uhm. Can I back out? Or at least can everybody close their eyes?" You couldn't meet anyone's eyes.

"You heard her. Close your eyes. The quicker you do, the quicker I get my kiss." Reluctantly, everyone in the room shut their eyes, the last being Satan himself. The two of you held inexplicable eye contact, as if he knew about the choice you were about to make before you did. After everyones' eyes were finally shut, you could feel yourself relax a little. But not enough to make it less stressful.

Finally ready to make your move, you got up from your spot and stood in the center of the circle. You stood in front of Satan, studying his features. You could spend hours looking at him. His long eyelashes, his bright blond hair, his full lips. But, you couldn't keep everyone waiting. With all the courage you could muster, you stepped forward, and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. His eyes shot open and for a long moment, you stared at each other.

Suddenly, all the confidence you'd managed to gather vanished. Panicking, you ran out of the circle through a small gap between Levi and Mammon. You fled to the only place that brought you comfort: the planetarium. Once you were there, you sat down on the ground and looked up at the stars. Finding the constellations brought you comfort. Behind you, you heard the door to the planetarium open. You turned to the sound of the approaching footsteps and was greeted by the man you'd kissed under an hour ago.

"Mc. I thought I'd find you here." Satan sat beside you, following your gaze up to the sky. "I never thought you'd date me of all people." You looked at him from your peripheral vision.

"What make you say that?" You questioned him. To you, he was perfect.

"Well, I always just assumed you'd prefer my brothers' personalities. They all have something going for them, and I'm just me. I'm not as special." His expression didn't change.

"You don't sell yourself enough. You're smart, you're thoughtful, and you're a joy to be around, not to mention how handsome you are. You give me butterflies." You absolutely wouldn't stand for him putting himself down like that, even if it meant confessing in the process. You'd already kind of kicked that off to begin with, so the least you could do was follow though. "But, that's not all. You care about the people close to me. You followed me here, didn't you? That's one of the many things I love about you. You always know exactly what I need when I'm feeling down. You're sensible, you're always honest with me, you're witty, and you have a more mischievous side. You pay attention to detail and you're gentle. I have a hard time thinking about what I don't love about you. To me, you're perfect." At the point, Satan was was looking right at you. This time, you weren't afraid to make eye contact and you met his emerald eyes.

"I could list all the things I love about you, but we'd be here all night. If you give me time, I'll make a book for you. If that was a confession, I accept." He softly smiled at you. He was positively glowing with the compliments you gave him, yet he still seemed to doubt the reality of it all. His cheeks were a light pink, and he held his hand out to you. You took it with a newfound conviction.

"I think it was." You found yourself growing a little bashful again, but didn't let go or look away. You enjoyed the feeling of his hand in yours.

"We could go back to game night, or we could go out? I have this 24 hour cafe in mind I've been meaning to try. It could be our first date." He ran his thumb over your knuckles, pressing a tender kiss to the back of your hand that echoed the one you'd given him not too long ago.

"I'd like that." With a smile, you let him pull you to your feet. The way he smiled at you made you realize you wouldn't regret your decision to step out of your comfort zone.

[scathstudios]

There's Something Beautiful About The Game Hades

Well, year 2 is starting and I feel like I have to get this off my mind before the new year is here or it’s going to rot in my brain and possibly distract me from my plans regarding studies. Anyway, I’ve been playing Hades as a way to relieve stress ever since the game was gifted to me during the summer break and it’s been fun. Incredibly fun. 

There’s so much to love in this game, the character designs, dialogues and story; its plot and themes are really beautiful too. From the main quest of Zagreus (Zag) finding his mother to the other smaller storylines like getting Hypnos an autograph- it was something. Truth be told, I am at a loss of words, trying to pen this down, but I’ll try. 

I remember crying when I first beat Hades and finally got to venture out onto the surface in search of Persphone. I believe it was around my 60th run and it was close to 2 AM. Just me, alone in the study, in the dead of night and Hades had just fallen. I remember my hands shaking, fingers actually feeling numb, cold and a little achy from all the keyboard smashing. But I had finally made it and all that was left was to walk out the gates. 

And I did. I shakily brought Zagreus out to Greece, slowly making his way to the new environment. The sunrise was breathtaking. At that point all I could think of was “So I guess this is what it is; Sublime.” Look out, feeling small and the unknown. (Suddenly the Contextual and Theoretical Studies in Art were making so much sense, eyeing my two friends who will suffer with me next year.) 

Tears were starting to form haha. It got worse(?) when I finally got Zag to the clearing. Meeting Persphone for the first time, the mother who we, Zag really, were searching for since the first run was so emotional. The voice acting and the dialogue really got me here. Zag sounded so lost and small, at that point he wasn’t a God, just a lost son looking for some much needed answers. And Persphone’s shock, followed by anger, trying to kick her own son out- AAA I started crying. It was so sweet when they finally got to an understanding and bonded. Bittersweet when the inevitable happens and the Styx claims Zag, forcing him and Persphone to part. I remember Zag returning to the house and feeling the same anger at Hades and then determination to bust my way out again to see Persphone. 

I’m glad I played this game, and I’m happy to have completed it too.  It was very much a story about not giving up and picking yourself up when you fail. The characters were sweet and endearing with the exception of Zeus and Poseidon, but even they were still fun to laugh at. Hypnos grew on me, even Theseus’ loud talking was laughable in the end hahaha. 

I suppose this game really spoke to me in some way I haven’t really experienced before and it was a well crafted retelling of Greek Myth that was pretty well researched and carefully constructed in such a way it didn’t villainize characters over another. (cough the whole Demeter and Hades plot for example cough - Haven’t been a big fan of their modern retellings for a while now in general.) 

Fun.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[thelikesoffinn]

This is for the lovely @will-graham-my-beloved who asked some follow-up questions in the tags of my big analysis - hi there darling!

First of: I do believe that Astarion spent a long time believing that he wanted to ascend. He's pretty much been talking about it since learning about the scars on his back and it was made quite clear that he was more than interested in it.

Even upon learning the sacrifice he would have to make he isn't backing down and that's for one simple reason - nobody would hesitate if roles were reversed. The world was never kind to or considerate for him so why the ever loving fuck would he waste any sympathy on others? Even the siblings that know his suffering better than anyone?

No, the world belongs to those who take ruthlessly and he shall be one of them.

Then: When you say "the spawn visiting him" I assume you mean the night where Astarions "siblings" attack us at camp to drag his pale arse back to Cazador and how he basically disregards them on terms of gaining the power he so desperately craves.

And Astarion IS desperate.

Not only is this all happening in act three, after Astarion had a good taste of the freedom he could have once Cazador is dead, no it's also just when the thing that promises safety and strength is just within his reach.

As always, safety is our buzzword here. Because while Astarion is no longer caught in his initial fight or flight mode, he is still fragile and undoubtedly scared.

You don't just shake off abuse and trauma in a few weeks, so ascension is still so, so enticing because it will make him strong and once he is, he won't have to fear anyone ever again - not even the sun!

Sacrificing his siblings - whom he may or may not have any affection for - is pretty much a small price to pay.

(It is obviously not, since I foggily remember that he feels the need to rationalise his future deed by mentioning how his siblings have done terrible things and how they pretty much deserve to die for something good, while continously and passionately making excuses for his own behaviour on account of not being able to resist Cazador, but what else is new at this point. The boy may as well change his name to Minimise or Rationalise, with how skilled he talks down even the most horrifying deed as long as it offers him safety!)

And, on top of that, there's another motivating factor on why ascension sounds so good right then - revenge.

Astarion is desperate for revenge - in fact, I say he feels rather entitled to it - and he himself mentions that killing Cazador can never be enough. He wants to rip his life's work away from him and take it for himself to kick the leech while he's down.

So I'd say his willingness to literally murder the other spawn absolutely stems from a combination of fear, longing for safety and power - for both himself and Tav - and intense thirst for revenge.

His need to rationalise and/or minimise what he's about to do sheds some light onto the underlying hesitancy he likely feels, though.

Someone who is 100% convinced that they're doing the right thing doesn't feel the need to explain themselves or to make excuses as for why the thing they're doing is actually the best thing ever. They know they're right and they know everybody else can see that at a first glance because it should be obvious.

And I'm very sure that Astarion knows his plan is pretty much none of that even without Tav's input.

He knows it's the wrong thing to do, and he likely has an inkling that he isn't being smart, but he doesn't want to think about that. He's just so battered and bruised at this point that rationality is overshadowed by rage, desperation and fear which, in turn, convince him thar ascension is the only way to finally live the life he so desperately desires.

I hope that was what you wanted me to consider! If not, I ask for your leniency - it's super late and I'm on my third day insomnia streak haha - and that you just hit me up real quick so that I can try again!

Now, please have a lovely day, duck!

[cantstoplovingjude]

Underneath the Black Veil: Victor Ch.2

This is from Ikemen Villains EN, Cybird owns everything.

Now that we were free to do whatever we wanted, we continued pretending to be lovingly engaged and relaxed for a while.

Of course, that was only a front since we were investigating the facility when no one was watching.

And we learned two valuable bits of information.

One was that the bodies of the missing couples were hidden in the basement.

And the second was that the followers weren't involved at all; the leader was the sole perpetrator.

Victor: "Kate, I got some scones and some pastries! Ooh, and some wine!"

Victor: "I know it's still daytime, but how about a drink?"

Kate: "Haha. Well, if you're going to twist my arm about it!"

(Even though there's a sense of death in this place, the reason I'm not depressed is because Victor's with me to keep my spirits up.)

Victor: "I saw some children making bouquets for our wedding tomorrow."

Kate: "Really? Unfortunately for them, it's not a real wedding. But that's sweet of them."

Victor: "Hey, Kate..."

Victor: "Would you like to get married someday?"

He asked me that question in such a casual tone it was like he was telling me good morning or good night.

It caught me off guard at first, but then I pondered it.

(Do I want to get married someday?)

Kate: "I've never been caught up by the formality of a wedding, but I do think it would be nice."

Kate: "I'm sure it would feel really wonderful to wear a beautiful wedding dress and say your vows."

Kate: "Sorry, I know that's a boring answer."

Victor: "No, I think it's lovely. I might cry if I was at your wedding, you know."

A soft breeze tousled Victor's hair as he smiled at me.

Victor: "Before we went on this mission, I was wondering to myself why people get married."

Victor: "Is it a formality as you said, that simply binds two people together?"

Victor: "And why do so many people yearn for it?"

Kate: "And what was the conclusion you reached?"

Victor: "I thought that perhaps a wedding is a promise for two people to enjoy their futures together."

Kate: "A promise, huh..."

Victor: "Life isn't always sunshine and roses. Sometimes, it's cruel and bitter."

Victor: "You've experienced that, I'm sure."

His eyes softened when I nodded.

Victor: "So it's a promise to walk hand in hand, even on those days. To think about the good times you'll have again someday."

(Waiting for the good times to come back, together... It's wonderful, and it sounds exactly like something Victor would say.)

One of Victor's many talents was knowing how to create happiness for others.

He always brightened the room and made everyone smile. He was a really great person.

But as he said, no one was happy all the time.

His happiness now probably came from the experiences he had in the past.

Kate: "Victor?"

Victor: "Hm?"

Kate: "When you go through hard times, do you have someone to share it with?"

Victor: "Ah. Unfortunately, I don't have a lover and I'm not married. My ring finger's still naked, see?"

He fluttered his hand with a grin.

Victor: "But I'm fine."

(Hm?)

Victor: "I've experienced a lifetime's worth of pain and suffering, Kate."

Victor: "And I got tired of being held captive by it..."

Victor: "That's what makes me so strong now! Ooh, like these scones are delicious! Try some, Kate!"

Kate: "Th-thanks... Oh, you're right! They're so crispy."

Victor: "Aren't they? I wonder how they get them to be so crispy? I'll have to ask them later."

I was aware of how suddenly he'd changed the subject, but I pretended not to notice.

Even though I was sure he was well aware of what I was doing.

Victor: "By the way, Kate. There's something I'm planning on doing at tomorrow's wedding."

Kate: "What is it?"

Victor: "Come a little closer."

Victor: "Why don't we go tell a little white lie?"

==========

The next day, Victor and I stood in the chapel for our wedding ceremony.

But I wasn't wearing the jet-black wedding dress.

A man walked toward the altar wearing a veil over his face.

But when he looked around, he gasped.

Leader: "Where are all my beloved followers?"

Victor: "I bewitched them all with my words and made them believe me."

Leader: "What did you just say?"

Victor: "i told them the wedding was moved to the afternoon."

Leader: "Still, someone will notice something's not right here!"

Kate: "Well, we put sleeping medication in their breakfast, just in case."

Leader: "What?!"

Kate: "Don't worry. A former doctor friend of ours mixed up the perfect dosages, so they'll wake up in a few hours."

Leader: "Who are you people? The police? Or...?"

The leader pulled a gun from his pocket and pointed it at us.

Victor hid me behind his back before I could even brace myself.

(Victor...?)

Victor: "For someone who talks about eternal love, you certainly pulled out that gun without hesitation. It's almost like you're used to killing people."

Leader: "Grrr..."

Victor: "Oh, and there's no point in trying to shoot. You won't be able to kill me very easily."

Victor: "Because you'd be killed first. I apologize, but I'm actually rather strong."

(Wow... There's this incredibly intimidating aura coming from Victor...)

Victor smiled and spoke as usual, but the malice emanating from him was almost palpable.

It felt like he would crush the leader if he took even a single step.

The mood in the room was so tense that the leader couldn't even pull the trigger.

Victor: "Hmm. You know, it'd be easy to kill you right here, but that wouldn't be much fun, would it?"

Victor: "So how about you and I have a little competition instead?"

Leader: "A competition?"

Victor: "That's right. Whoever hurts the other person first wins! You can use that gun, or a knife or a spear, or whatever you want."

Victor: "I think I'll use this as my weapon."

Victor: "Kate, would you kindly lend me your lips?"

Kate: "Huh?!"

Victor smiled at me, and then gently rubbed his thumb across my lower lip.

When he pulled his thumb away, it was stained with my red lipstick.

Leader: "You've really underestimated me. You'll regret it once I shoot you dead!"

Victor: "You know, I actually like regrets. They help you grow as a person."

Victor: "Now, let's go. Let the battle begin."

All I could remember was Victor's long black hair swaying.

Because the battle was over in the blink of an eye.

Leader: "Huh?!"

Victor circled behind the leader in a flash and ran his thumb along his neck.

Victor: "There. You're dead."

His thumb had traced a line of red lipstick across the man's throat.

Like a death sentence.

Leader: "N-noooo!"

Victor: "Aw, are you scared?"

Leader: "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Victor: "Yes, I'm sure it's frightening. That's what it feels like to have someone strip your life away."

Victor: "And that's the fear you've caused many, many couples to experience."

Leader: "Ah... ah...!"

Victor: "You should repent in the depths of darkness until death comes to claim you."

Victor smacked the man's neck with his hand and easily knocked him out, just like that.

I watched the events unfold in stunned silence.

(I thought I was going to protect Victor, but boy, was I wrong...)

(Victor's strong. Like, ridiculously strong.)

His familiar profile suddenly looked different to me.

I slowly opened my mouth, trying to settle my bewilderment.

Kate: "What are you going to do with him?"

Victor: "William will come and collect him. We won't shed his blood here."

That meant in a few hours, this man wouldn't be alive anymore.

Victor: "Well then, our mission ends here!"

Victor clapped his hands as if to clear the heavy feeling in the atmosphere.

Victor: "But there's still one thing we have to do first."

Kate: "What's that?"

His eyes shone like jewels as he smiled at me.

Victor: "Will you marry me, Kate?"

End Ch.2