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dearly-somber · 9 months

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deathbed (coffee for your head) | h.js

-> pairing. Han Jisung x f!reader

-> genre. angst, hurt/comfort, f2l (friends–lovers), neighbors!au

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 1442

-> warnings. Mentions of divorce; rocky home-life; reader runs away from home (essentially)

-> a/n. Ngl to y’all the formatting for this one was… questionable lmfao. It’s not terrible but… 🤡🤡 idk check it out if you don’t like it 🤷🏻‍♀️

-> collection. songfic

-> started. Sept. 5th, 2020 @ 17:29

-> fin. Aug. 21st, 2021 @ 22:23

-> edited. Sept. 23rd, 2022 @ ???

You walked down the side of the road, the patter of rain distracting you.

You left your house since your parents were having a screaming fit—as they usually did those days. Ever since your mother told your dad that she didn't love him anymore and that she had already filed for a divorce, the tension in the house had been unbearable. You hadn't thought it would start raining, so you were walking with your hoodie up to cover your hair and face, though it was starting to soak though the fabric and make you cold. Your phone rung, Goodbye (by 2NE1) blaring.

Not bothering to check the caller ID, you answered the call with a scratchy throat: "Hello?" You hummed into the phone half-heartedly, stopping underneath a tree.

"Y/N! Where are you? I heard your parents fighting but when I came over to check on you you weren't in your room—"

"Jisung, what have I told you about going through my window? If my mom finds out she'll kill us!" You scolded him, shaking your head disapprovingly

"Whatever, it doesn't matter! Just come to my house, okay? My mom is cooking dinner for us." You smiled softly, humming before turning around to go to your neighbor's house.

Once there you knocked on the door, a low thud accompanying each knock. Jisung opened the door with an excited smile, the smile slowly fading when he saw how wet you were, lips parted in shock.

“You must be freezing… come inside!" He ushered after a moment, quickly pushing you inside. "One sec, lemme grab you some clothes—" it took only a few seconds for him to arrive back with some of his clothes and a towel. "Go change in my room. Mom should finish with the food in a few minutes." He said, pushing you in the direction of his room.

"Y/N! The food's ready!" Jisung yelled just as you finished pulling one of his hoodies over your head. It had been laying on the ground somewhere, so you might as well, right?

"Y/N! It's so good to see you again!" Mrs. Han said with a welcoming smile, hugging you tightly. You smiled with a laugh, nodding.

"I missed you too, Mrs. Han." You said. "By the way, where's (J/B/N)?"

"Oh, he's away for a business trip—"

"Okay, stop talking about my hyung and come spend time with me," Jisung whined, pulling you away from his mother. You had met Jisung in your shared classes, since you were both music majors at school. You had hit it off with him, and when you found out he was your new next door neighbor, you were practically tied to the hip. You giggled as Jisung over excitedly dragged you to where the food was, holding your hand before stopping you in front of the soup.

"Quickly, take some before I finish it myself—"

"Okay, God. You're so impatient, you know that?" You said with a raised brow, unable to stop yourself from smiling.

"It's why you love me, Y/Nie." He retorted, scrunching his nose cutely. You chuckled, dishing up before heading to the dining room, where you and Jisung ate.

Mr. Han only came back later, having gotten stuck in traffic on his way home from work. He greeted you casually, since it wasn't unusual for you to stay over some nights. Jisung had only ever really stayed over at your house once or twice, since your father had never really liked him. You guessed it must've been because he didn't trust him, but you knew your mother adored Jisung, so you guess that's a plus.

"Y/N, are you done?" Jisung asked, looking up from his phone. You nodded as you took your last bite, finally finishing. You had kept getting distracted your thoughts, so it had taken a while. He smiled at you warmly, getting up with a stretch. You smiled at him gently, the image of his cheeks stuffed with food similar to that of a squirrel stuck in your head. You had told him that it was cute and it's exactly the reason why you had saved him on your phone as 'Squirrel bby🐿'.

"Shall we go to my room, then?"

"Mmm." You hummed, taking his hand and smiling up at him brightly: "가자~"

You were sitting with Jisung on his bed, listening to some songs he had produced, reading the lyrics he had given you. He was watching you nervously, biting his lower lip. It was already around 01:03, so his door had been shut to keep the two of you from waking up his parents.

Noticing the way he was biting his lip, you placed a comforting hand on his knee, patting it gently. He smiled at you softly, playing with your fingers until you finished.

"Wow, Jisung."

"What'd you think? Is it shit?" He asked, eyes flicking from his laptop to your eyes questioningly. You scoffed, hitting his arm.

"Yah! Stop that! It was great! The lyrics and beat are amazing... I love it." You reprimanded him, pouting. He giggled, bubbling with happiness as he leaned back with a hand to his cheek, face turning pink.

Leaning forward he squeezed your cheeks, taking his laptop and paper to put it on his bedside table.

"Aah, thank you, Y/N-ssi!"

You hummed quietly, yawning. He sighed, hitting the sides of his mattress. "차, I'm gonna go grab a mattress for you—"

"What? No, Sungie. You'll wake your parents~"

"But—"

"We can just share a bed, dummy~" Jisung went quiet, looking at you stupidly as you made yourself comfortable in his bed.

“What?" You questioned, wide eyed and cute as ever.

"You're not going to be uncomfortable?" He asked, hesitantly getting comfortable with you. You laughed at him, poking his cheek with a fond smile.

"Of course not! I trust you, Sung-ah. And anyway," You smirked, moving forward to wrap yourself around him, the exact reason why he always referred to you as 'koala'. "You're a very huggable size. We fit together perfectly—" He chuckled at that, slowly wrapping his arms around you. You cuddled further into his chest, a content sigh leaving your lips.

Jisung bit down on his lower lip once more, looking down at the top of your head nervously. Now or never, Jisung!

"Uhm, Y/N?"

"Mmm?" You had closed your eyes. God, he was so warm—

You hadn't cuddled with Jisung all that much, since you usually only watched television at your home, generally playing games when you came over to his place to hang out.

"If I told you I liked you, would you be mad?" He asked quietly, making you look up at him.

You propped yourself on your elbow, eyeing him scrutinizingly. "You're being serious?" You asked, voice soft as you watched him. With a nervous gulp, he nodded, looking at you. When, a minute later, you hadn't yet answered, he cleared his throat, looking away sheepishly.

"It's okay if you don't like me back, I wasn't expecting you to, any—"

Jisung's eyes widened comically, his hand squeezing the side of the covers in all of his shock. You had kissed him to shut him up, your hand on his upper thigh. Slowly, Jisung's eyes fluttered closed, his hand making it's way to cup your cheek gently. His thumb brushed over your skin lightly, sending a tingle down your spine. You pulled away, looking at him expectantly. When he finally re-opened his eyes, he looked at you with his lips parted slightly.

"Does that answer your question..?" You asked with a shy smile, searching his eyes. Not trusting his voice, the boy nodded, watching with a smile as you leaned in again. He put one hand on your waist while you moved to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and playing with the tips of his hair, his other hand still cupping your face. A couple more minutes passed while you kissed him, finally pulling away. You watched him lovingly, smiling before resting against his chest, your head tucked under his chin.

He chuckled lovingly at you, holding you to his chest, sliding down the bed some more while still keeping you close.

"I love you." You whispered, making him kiss your forehead with a soft smile. You lifted your head to place a quick kiss to his shoulder, your hands resting idly on his hips.

"I love you more..." He challenged.

You moved back to look at him again, kissing him softly and leaning your forehead against his, lips still lightly brushing over one another:

"I love you most," You whispered.

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louscartridge · 10 months

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⇢ ˗ˏˋ(not so off) off day

han jisung x gn reader.

cw- mention of reader slightly crying, domestic fluff (han gets reader ready for bed. changes their clothes, brushing their teeth, ect), kinda hurt/comfort, not really proof read. half of this was written on a phone and the other half was written on my computer and i cant be asked to fix it so itll look weird or something idfk.

summery- reader leaves han home without her on their only off day. saying the least, theyre both pretty sad and han helps both of you feel a bit better.

a/n- i kinda gave up like halfway through the fic so this sucks and my fics, ESPECIALLY my kpop fics have been flopping, but i need to post so whatever.

It was Sunday, so both you and jisung had off. however, you insisted on going to your company’s building to practice anyway, leaving jisung home with Chan, hyunjin, and changbin. the day went my exhaustingly slow for Han.

Chan had been in him room pretty much all day, doing god knows what, Hyunjin has been in his art studio all day, and changbin has been playing video games, leaving Han alone. He would alternate from being in his room to the living room, occasionally getting a “hey” from one of his roommates if they came out to get something to eat or something. Jisung had been laying on the couch in the now dark living room. the only light that was on, being the light that was coming from the tv. he took a short lived nap on the couch before being woken up to the sound of the door being opened and then closed. jisung rubbed his eye with his fingers, adjusting to the small yet bright light. He turned around and was greeted with you putting your bag beside the arm end of the couch. you plop down next to your boyfriend on the couch and snuggled into his side with a sigh. You burry your face into his neck and wrap your hands around his waist, your legs going over his thighs. he can feel that your eyelashes are slightly wet against his neck and jisung wraps his arms loosely around your hips.

“Rough day?” He asks in a sweet tone.

You shake your head yes slightly in an attempt to not shift your position. “mhm”

“m’sorry love” jisung moved his hands slightly so he can rub circles on your hip with his thumb.

“how was your day?” You ask him.

“boring. I missed you.” His voice is lazy, still laced with wanted sleep.

“I know I’m sorry. I missed you too.” You said pressing a few little kisses to his neck, close to his collar bone.

jisung could tell you were getting tired and on the verge of falling asleep in his embrace. Your words were getting merged together more with some slurring, your breathing was changing slightly, and you would randomly shoot your eyes open, fighting to stay awake.

“you want me to bring you our room and we can go to sleep?” Your boyfriend asks calmly.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep if I move” you said.

“you’ll get there” he knew you would. It might take you a bit, but you would. you always did. with the comfort of being in jisungs imbrace and knowing you werent alone, youve felt more comftorble sleeping. not only, did you have just your boyfriend with you, but three other men to protect you.

han turned the tv off before he picked you up and grabbed your legs so they were wrapped just above his hips. you wrapped your arms around his neck and kept your face in his neck.

he brought you to your shared room and then into the bathroom. he closed the bathroom door and sat you on the counter before taking your toothbrush and toothpaste out of the drawr next to your leg.

han grabs your chin gently, tiliting your head up to the side a little. “open up baby”

you lazily open your mouth and soon after you can feel the tickiling sensation of han brushing your teeth.

once he was done, he brought a little plastic cup to your mouth and held your hair back.

“spit”

you brought your head down a bit before spitting everything in your mouth out into the cup.

“good job.”

you smield slightly from his words. “mhm. thank you”

han patted your head before opening the bathroom door. “ill be right back”

when han came back, he had one of his t-shirts and a clean pair of underwear in his hand.

“here wait stand up for a second”

you hopped off of the counter so you were now standing infront of jisung.

“can i take your pants off?” han asked

“wow so romantic” you laughed. “yeah.” you awnserd with a shake of your head.

once he was done taking your pants off, he also slid off your underwear with your promisiom, before sliding on a new, clean pair of underwear. after that, you jumped back onto the counter and he took your shirt off to replace it with his. he didnt bother bringing you a pair of pants since he knew youre not on your period and you dont like to sleep in pants half the time anyway.

he picked you back up so you were holding onto his same as before, and threw you onto your bed, earning a giggle from you.

you moved onto you spot of the bed as han took off his shirt and put on a clean pair of boxers and sweatpants.

once he was ready, he climed into bed with you and you turned over and burried yourself deep into his chest. han gently took your face in his hands and kissed your forhead before wrapping his arms around your body.

you and han loved eachother. and han will always hold your hands when youre anxious and hell always kiss your forhead when you sleep in his arms.

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

if you liked this fic, you may also like- selenite (sh tw)

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httpdwaekki · 2 months

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soothe | h.j.

summary: you were well aware of jisung's anxiety, but you notice he takes a certain interest in the ink on your skin.

wc: 966

warnings: brief mentions of anxiety, mentions of the reader having tattoos. not proofread at all. lowercase intended.

a/n: i used to color and trace my tattoos when i got anxious so i was just thinking about ji doin the same thing. also it is very late and i'm running on a solid 4 hours of sleep but i wanted to write something so now we have this LMAO. anyway i hope u enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3

my library

(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)

you were well aware of jisung's anxiety. you yourself suffered from it so you understood, the feelings and frustrations that came along with the sinking feel.

you weren't always sure what would trigger the uneasy feeling in the boy, but you were there no matter what. you knew sometimes you just had to put on an anime and hold him until he felt better.

other times you'd sit and listen as he voiced this thoughts running rampant in his head.

however there was something new that you noticed you would lay with him. he'd trace the ink along your skin, drawing every line and every shading etched into your soft skin.

you noticed it when you were laying on your bed one day when the ugly feeling settled in his tummy once again. jisung was in front of you, his back to your chest, yours leaning against the head board, arms wrapped loosely around his torso, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on his stomach.

jisung was barely paying attention the show lowly playing on the screen. not that you were either, hyper focused to gage any change in his demeanor, making sure he was relaxing.

that's when you felt it, the soft brush on your arm, right where your favorite flower was inked into the skin of your forearm. you glance down, watching for a moment, as he traced the lines one by one before moving on to the next section of art.

you couldn't help the heat the rose to your cheek, as he careful recreated the marks so beautifully etched onto your skin. as you watched you had an idea. you place a soft kiss to his hair before lightly tapping his tummy.

"get up for a second bub, i'm gonna grab something quick." you felt him tense, turning his head towards you, hesitating for a moment. "i'll be right back jagiya, i promise. less than 2 minutes." he slightly nodded before sitting up. you place a kiss on his shoulder as you scoot out from behind him.

quickly making your way to your office, you find exactly what you were looking for. you quickly grab it, making your way back to your room. you find jisung in the same place you left him, expect he looked zoned out, toying with the strings of his hoodie.

you sit beside him, placing a gentle hand to his puffy cheek. you looks up, boba eyes shining with worry. you could practically see the thoughts clouding his pretty mind. you give him a smile before placing the bag of colorful markers in his lap.

he looks down at the bag and back to you, confusion now present in his eyes. "so you could color them in if you want." you shrugged, getting up, kissing his forehead before moving to lay behind him once more.

you lightly pull him back into your embrace, arms finding home around him once more. his head positioned on your collarbone, under your chin, relaxing into your touch.

a few moments later you hear the sound of plastic rustling and the familiar sound of markers clashing against each other. once he found the color he was looking for, quietly taking the top off, and begin carefully coloring each one in.

you had a perfect view at his art from above him. your other hand continuing the soothing circles on the skin of his stomach. you smile and you watch him go from coloring to watching the tv. you place a kiss to his hair once more, as he finishes coloring in your ghost. he caps the marker, placing it back in the bag, before carefully setting the colorful ink on your bedside table.

he turns around as he makes his return to you, his turn to wrap his arms around you. you gladly take him into your arms as he shoves his face into your neck. you stay there for a moment before he places a kiss in the junction of you neck and shoulder.

"you okay, ji?" you asked softly. he nods, "i'm okay baby, thank you." he gives you one more squeeze before pulling back.

"what would i do without you, hm?" he asks, placing peck to your lips. your lip turn upwards slightly, "i'm just helping you, jagi, you deserve to be happy." he kisses you once more, this time with a bit more passion.

"you're gonna make me start crying." he mumbles against your plush lips. "okay well don't do that, cause that'd make me sad." you shake your head. "how about i order us some take out and we just stay like this for the rest of the night?" you offer, staring into his boba eyes.

"and if you wanna talk later, i'm here to listen okay?" he nods, falling back into your embrace. "i love you okay? i'm always here, whenever, where ever, you say the word i'm there." you place a kiss to the side of his head.

you feel his breathing start to become uneven, panic arising in your chest. "ji? hey, hey, talk to me baby." you pull him back to look at you. big eyes now brimmed with tears. "what's going on in that head of yours, hm?" ask, rubbing his cheeks.

he shakes his head. "nothing, i just really fucking love you. i don't know what i ever did to deserve you." he says, tears slowly making their way down his face.

"you're you, you deserve everything i can give you and more, okay?" he closes his eyes, nodding his head. you place kisses over each eye lid and finally his forehead.

you pull him back to you, and that's where you stay for the rest of the night. wrapped up in each other, eating ramen before falling asleep in each other's arms.

p.s. new username ah !! i used to be voidreams but i wanted a change hehe. but i hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are always appreciated but never expected :3

#han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung fic #han jisung imagine #han jisung fluff #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagine #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids fic #hurt/comfort #tw: anxiety

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skzstannie · 4 months

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“What about Ben?”

SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~4,800 cw: reader has a panic attack and depression, Ben is ur lil bro

summary: your mom isn’t happy about your absence at your brother’s birthday party, but she takes her anger a step too far this time

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone has a blessed 2024! Part 2s for both the Felix and the Han fic are underway, so send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the tag list for either of them!

Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist

"Mom, you know I can't just up and leave! What are you expecting me to do?"

You find yourself having the same conversation with your parents time and time again- they want you to come home, you can't come home, then they give you the silent treatment for a period of time until they want you to come home for something else.

It's mentally exhausting, having to deal with their constant negative remarks towards you job. You only do it for your little brother; him growing up without you is not in the cards for you. In fact, that's what this argument you're having with your mom is about this time.

"I expect you to put your family first for once in your life!" your mother yells back. You flinch, pulling the phone away from your ear.

"Mom, you know I wouldn't miss Ben's birthday unless I absolutely have to. I want to be there for him, I really do!" your words do little to convince her as she already has her mind made up about the type of person you are.

"This has happened one too many times. Missing the occasional family gathering is one thing, but it’s your brother's birthday." Her disgust easily wafts through the speaker of your phone, and you bite your lip to keep from absolutely lashing out at her.

Your parents were never understanding of your job. They always expected you to just pack up your bags and fly home for the smallest of things.

Your baby cousin said her first words? "Why aren't you here?"

Your little brother lost another tooth? "Why would you want to miss this important milestone?"

Your grandma got a new dog? "What kind of heartless person denies their grandparents?"

Over and over, you've been criticized for your job. You give them the same explanation each time, as it's the truth.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I want to be there; I really really do. It's just that-"

"Always with the excuses. Ya know what? I'm tired of the excuses," she pauses and your breath hitches in your throat.

"Ma?" your voice is choked up, and you find your lip wobbling from where it's pulled between your mouth.

Your mother sighs, her disappointment evident. "We're done with the excuses, Y/N. If you can't be here for us, I don't think this is going to work out."

You swear your heart stops upon hearing her words. "What do you mean?" the laugh you let out is far from humorous. It's desperate. "How could it not work out? I'm your daughter, there's nothing to work out. You're supposed to love me and care for me, unconditionally."

"You've crossed the line too many times. Don't try to spin this around and make me the bad guy. This is completely your fault, you and those stupid boys."

Your parents could talk trash about you all they want, but you never let them get away with saying stuff about your boys. "You can belittle me, argue with me, call me every name in your book, but I will not let you talk about the guys like that. They're my family, too," your almost able to catch yourself, but you realize your mistake far too late.

"Oh, yea? Well, if those guys are your family, why not spend the rest of your time with them, too. It’s not like you weren’t already planning to anyway. Spend your holidays with them, your birthdays with them. He’ll, what do you even need us for?”

Tears well in your eyes, a mix of anger and fear swelling deep in your gut. "Mom, you know that's not what I meant." You’re completely choked up, your words coming out just above a whisper in volume.

You've had fights, but they never go as far as this. Usually, your mom would've hung up by now, leaving you with nothing but radio silence for months on end.

As toxic as this is, she's your mom. You couldn't live this life without her. She's toxic now, using your vulnerability against you every chance she gets, but she wasn't always that way.

She was once a loving mother, one who packed your lunch every morning for school, sending you off with a kiss on your cheek. A mom who'd pay extra to get more of your school pictures so she could put them on her desk at work and in her car. She used to show her love for you as any mother does, but you havent felt that in so long.

The last time you were home was a little over two months ago, and not once did she hug you, kiss you, or even touch you. She was cold and emotionless towards you.

You should've seen it coming. All this tension building up for months on end, it was going to have to bottom out eventually.

As much as the above is true, the words that flew out her mouth next shocked you beyond belief, causing the tears to flow freely from your waterline.

"Don't come back home, Y/N. I'm serious. You've done too much damage to my family." There’s a beeping on the other end of the phone, and it drops from your shaking hand to the carpeted floor beneath you.

Don't come back?

You were always sorry, apology after apology leaving your lips when you had to miss something your family organized. You thought it'd be okay. Your mom would get over herself eventually, and you'd come home when the company allowed you to.

You pick up the phone, hands a trembling mess, and call back, praying for another chance to explain yourself. You’re met with an automated message, the robotic voice piercing your ear.

"I'm sorry, this customer is unavailable."

You hang up and call again. She wouldn't have blocked you. It was just a silly fight, right?

"I'm sorry, this customer is-" you hang up before the message finishes, throwing your phone onto the floor next to you.

Your sobs become audible, and your body crumbles onto the floor, your knees thankful for the soft surface the carpet provides. Your fingers claw at the skin around your eyes, looking for a relief from the emotional pain coursing through your body.

Red lines mark your face, leaving the areas tender and puffy.

Your heart constricts in betrayal.

How could she?

She raised you, gave birth to you. How was it so easy for her?

The thought of your little brother enters your jumbled thoughts, and your heart breaks further.

He’s only six years old, and he is the best little brother you could ever ask for. He loves with all his heart, and you are lucky enough to get to experience it, to be apart of that little circle he could wrap his arms around and squeeze with all his might.

The thought of never squishing his chubby cheeks again destroys you, and you're unable to express the amount of heartache you're feeling.

So you scream.

You scream loud, your emotions ripping through your throat like shards of glass through skin.

You’re too distraught to notice the door to your bedroom whipping open. Chan and Minho stand there in the doorway, their eyes wide and mouths agape.

They've never seen you like this before. They've never seen anybody like this before, actually. Your screams are manic as they bounce off the walls around you, echoing around the room.

Once their shock dies off, they rush over to you. Minho is gentle in his grip but firm as he pries your hands away from your face. He gasps when he sees the damage your nails have already done, your once soft features now blotchy with angry red streaks.

You continue to scream, your nails now digging into Minho's arm. Chan grabs you from behind, doing his best to soothe you out of your hysteria.

"Y/N, you have to calm down. Please, it's ok, shhh," he says, his hold around you tight in an attempt to give you some sense of security.

"What happened? Can you talk to us?" you ignore Minho.

They accept that you're too worked up too answer them, and they let you finish your episode, the two of them doing everything they can to try and soothe you.

The rest of the guys in the dorm stand in the doorway now, your cries too agonizing for them to ignore. Varying degrees of shock are spread across their faces as they watch.

Chan starts to mumble sweet words to you as you come out of your panic attack, your brain finally able to register your surroundings again.

“It hurts,” you whimper, chest aching. “It’s so hard to breathe.”

"It's ok, we're here," he repeats, his head pressed up against the side of yours.

"Tell us five things you can see right now," Minho says from beside you, his grip still tight around your sweaty hands.

Your voice is scratchy, your throat red and scarred from your screams, but you oblige, knowing this will help you ground yourself. "I see my alarm clock," your eyes scan your room, landing on the bright digital clock you have sitting on your bedside table.

"Good," he hums, "What else?"

Your eyes travel to the door and you see the scared faces of the rest of your members. You lock in on Felix, his hands clenched tightly in front of him as salty tears stream down his face.

"I see Felix," you whisper, the pain from your throat becoming more and more noticeable.

He nods his head. "Good, now three more things. What else do you see?"

You look to your opened closet, your eyes catching the way your clothes spill out of your messy dresser onto your floor. "I see my favorite hoodie. I see my curtains, and I see that stain on my wall."

"Perfect, Y/N. Take a few deep breaths now." You breathe with Minho, your erratic breaths eventually matching his steady ones.

Finally calmed down enough, you slump back into Chan's hold, completely exhausted from the panic attack.

The room is silent for a moment, all the guys letting you have a second to gather your bearings.

"What happened?" Changbin steps through the rest of the members, settling next to the three of you on the floor. The rest follow suit, some sitting on your bed and some sitting beside Changbin.

"It's my mom again. I don't even know, I think she like, kicked me out? Like, kicked me out of the family?" You're almost embarrassed to explain the situation. You don't know why, maybe in fear your members will think your mom's right. That maybe you have been missing too many family functions, and that you should’ve made more time for them.

"Y/N, that's awful," hums of agreeance come throughout the room, and Hyunjin's words help to reassure you. "You don't deserve that, not one bit."

"She's completely out of line. Nothing you did warranted this at all," Seungmin chimes in. He knows thoughts of uncertainty are swirling through your head, the gaslighting from your mother turning your thoughts to mush.

"What about Ben?"

"What about him? You know your mom's full of shit, and the minute you show up at her doorstep she'll welcome you in. She's bluffing," Changbin pipes up again, his shoulders tight with anger.

"I don't think she is this time."

~ ~ ~

It's another day, and you've spent it the exact same way you spent the last five- curled up in your bed with the lights off, mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

Chan's come in to check on you periodically, but you’ve been alone for the most part.

The knock at your door alerts you from your sleepy state, and you call them in.

“Hey, I brought you some soup. Minho made it earlier today, and I figured you might be hungry,” Chan says, giving you a timid smile.

“Thanks, Chan, but I’m not really hungry right now. Can you just set it there?” You point to the little table you have at the end of your bed, “I’ll eat it later, I promise.”

Your phone starts to ring, and you gasp when you see who’s calling.

Dad

You pick up immediately, and you’re met with the distant yells of your parents. Confused, you ask, “Hello, Dad?”

“Sissy,” comes through. It’s Ben. His voice is small, and fear seeps through the speaker.

“Buddy, what’s wrong?” You keep your tears at bay, knowing you need to be strong for him. Chan sits down beside you when he hears the little voice you’re talking to, and he rubs your back in comfort.

“Mom and Dad are fighting again,” he sniffles, the microphone personifying every bit of his sadness. “I miss you, Sissy.”

“I miss you, more, buddy, but I don't think we're gonna be able to see each other for a while," you choke back sobs.

“But I miss you so much,” he’s crying harder now, and it’s hard to hold yourself together knowing he’s struggling like he is.

“I know, buddy, I know. I’m so sorry I missed your birthday, I couldn’t get a day off work,” you explain. Chan brings his finger up to your cheek, catching your tear before it’s able to fall from your cheek.

You hear Ben gasp, and your heart beat picks up. “Ben, is everything ok? What happened?”

“Mommy’s coming, and I have to go. She told me I couldn’t talk to you, but I stole Dad’s phone. Love you, sissy,” and he’s gone before you can even say it back.

Chan eventually leaves your side upon your request to be alone for a while. The soup beside your bed grows cold as your sadness overwhelms you once again.

~ ~ ~ "Alright, rise and shine!" you're awoken from your slumber by the bright light shining in from your window. You groan, throwing your pillow over your head to block the light. Your curtains hadn’t been opened in weeks, and you were planning on keeping it that way for as long as possible.

"Nope," the intruder says, ripping the pillow from off your face.

"We've allowed you to wallow in this room long enough. If we're not performing or doing an interview, you're laying in the dark in bed." Your eyes open, crusty and sore from the crying you did before falling asleep the night before.

Hyunjin's face paints your irises, his features full of determination.

"Time to get up." He throws your pillow back on the bed beside you, turning to walk out your door. "Oh, and pack a bag, we're flying somewhere today."

You shoot up in bed at that. "Nothing's on the schedule for today, so where are we going?”

‘Is it something I can get out of?’ is what you really want to say, but you keep it to yourself.

"It’s a surprise. Get up and get dressed, we leave in an hour," he finishes, closing the door behind him.

You slide out of bed, your limbs dragging your covers onto the floor. You don't bother picking them up, too tired to care about the messy appearance of your room.

You quickly get ready, throwing on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You pull your hair up into a ponytail, attempting to hide the grease that's accumulated over the past few days.

The ride to the airport is quiet and relatively peaceful. Everyone's happy to see you up and moving again, but the facade you've been putting on for the public has been washed away in your tired state, leaving your features drowsy. The dark circles under your eyes are prominent, your cheekbones sticking out more than usual. Your hair’s thinned a little, and your lips are cracked from your lack of hydration.

Through security and the rest of the way through the airport, you grip Jisung's arm, both of you needing the other's support in the overcrowded building.

Chan had explained to you that the managers wanted to start filming for the next SKZ Code a day early, fearing it might take longer than expected.

When you see the television next to your boarding terminal, your eyes practically bug out of your head.

Why would you be filming the next SKZ Code in your hometown?

That's the last place you want to go, your fight with your mom still fresh in your mind. You've been feeling the affects of it, her harsh words and actions sending you deep into a depressive episode.

Your members have noticed, trying their best to pull you from it, but nothing they did seem to work.

They can't begin to sympathize with you, none of them ever experiencing the kind of hurt you feel deep in your heart, wreaking havoc on your sanity. All they can do is offer you words of encouragement and love, assuring you that you still have a family, a very real one. While the nine of you may not be related by blood, the bond between all of you is strong.

They decided to take their efforts one step further, however, after seeing you begin to spiral. Your naps became longer and more frequent, often taking up most of the time you were supposed to be awake. You had been neglecting your self care routine, not even having enough energy to shower and brush your teeth most days.

Chan decided that enough is enough, so he convinced the managers to book you all a flight to your hometown to try and reconcile your family. As much as they wanted your mom out of your life, you were much more sane with her in it, and you needed your dad and your brother.

~ ~ ~

The flight was a success, everything going perfectly smooth.

You're now squished into the backseat of a car on the way to the house you'll all be staying at for the remainder of the filming.

The first thing you notice when pulling up into the driveway is how beautiful the house is. The front yard has the most angelic archways leading up to the house, with flowers lining the sidewalk and little statues spread about.

The house itself is amazing. Tall glass windows cover most of the front, the sunlight easily shining through, lighting up the front room.

The five of you- Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, I.N, and yourself- make your way into the house, and all of your previous worries disappear at the sight of the incredible interior. The walls are lined with expensive looking art, chandeliers hang from the tall ceilings, and the floors are marbled with white and gray.

Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, and Seungmin went to the store in the other van. They said they needed to pick up some last minute essentials for your stay.

Little did you know, they were actually going to your parents house. Their hopes were to get your mother to forgive you, or at least be civil so you could have a conversation with her.

Unfortunately, their visit did not go as planned, and it ended with your mother threatening to call the cops on them if they didn't leave the property immediately. This, of course, did not deter Lee Know from giving her a piece of his mind. His outburst was in Korean, and the insults he threw at her were so quick she'd never be able to recall them to look them up in a translator.

As much as they wanted to stay, to defend you and help you get your family back, they knew they couldn't. Getting law enforcement involved was the last thing they needed, knowing their managers would immediately regret sending them on this short getaway.

So, with that, they went back to the house with anger embedded in their hearts. They didn't want to have to tell you the real reason you all came here. They didn't know how you would react. Would you be thankful they tried to help? Would you feel betrayed that they'd went to your home without permission? They didn't know, but it was time to face the music; there was no SKZ Code to film, and they had no shopping bags in hand, so the truth was going to have to come out.

"Y/N," Chan sighs as he plops down next to you on the couch. You're both seated in the sunroom, looking out at the lake that sits in the backyard.

He gets your attention, and you slide your phone in your hoodie pocket, turning your body to face him. "What's up?"

He hates that he has to be the one to bring up your family again. You look so peaceful, your face no longer contorted with sorrow and pain like it'd been for weeks now, but he knows he has to tell you. It’s only fair to you. "So, please don't get mad, but this whole thing may or may not have been just a setup for you to see your family again."

Your heart beats out of your chest at the mention of seeing your family again. "Really, when can we go?" Your excitement radiates off of you, and you quickly stand to your feet.

Chan grabs ahold of your sleeve and gently guides you back down next to him, his eyes filled with pity. "Well, when we said we were going shopping earlier, we actually went to your house," he pauses, his eyes scanning your features; your face is blank, the excitement from seconds ago long gone. "Your mom wasn't exactly appreciative of our presence, and she kicked us out. Said she'd call the cops if we didn't leave. I'm so sorry, Y/N."

Your mind whirls with the information Chan just threw at you. "So, all of this," you gesture to your surroundings, "was for me? There's no SKZ Code?"

He shakes his head, his hand coming to rest on your arm, "No SKZ Code."

"And my mom still doesn't want to see me?"

He shakes his head again, slower this time. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I thought she'd be more open to talk to you, to us, but she wasn't. If I'd have known it'd end this way, I would've never done all this."

You sit there in silence, your gaze downcast. There's no sadness or anger in your heart, no tears welling up in your eyes. You expelled all the emotions you could over the past few weeks, and you've left yourself with nothing.

You stand, your only desire to go lay down on the plushy bed you found in one of the bedrooms when you were exploring earlier. As you walk away from Chan, he stops you.

"Where are you going?"

"To sleep."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I can come with you?"

"No thank you, I'll be fine," your voice is robotic as you decline his offer. You make your way to the room, climbing up the stairs to the second floor.

You're out like a light as soon as your head hits the feathery pillow, the day’s events catching up to you all at once.

~ ~ ~

You're rudely awoken by the sound of your phone ringing. You pull it out from your pocket, your eyes squinting at the brightness.

Your eyes widen at the contact name that appears on the screen.

Dad

You quickly press the answer button, scared if you wait too long the opportunity will disappear quicker than it showed up.

Your dad had always been a follower. He's the youngest of four siblings, so it was instinctual for him to do what they did. When he married your mom, he had been the same way. Whatever your mom said went.

Your dad loved you and your brother so much, with all his heart, but when your mom started to act up, he became distant. He was never mean to you; he just stopped calling one day, stopped texting. You knew it was because of your mom; a part of you thought he was scared of her.

The last few times you'd gone home, the tension between them was almost unbearable, but your dad always rolled with it. Essentially, he was your mom's very own punching bag. You felt bad for him, but only he had the power to do something about it. You certainly didn't want to say anything. You were already walking on eggshells with her, the last thing you wanted to do was upset her more.

You bring the phone up to your ear, a shaky 'Hello?' leaving your overly chapped lips.

"Hi, sweetie. It's Dad," his voice is as shaky as yours, and he sounds choked up.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it anymore, Y/N. I cannot listen to her and let her treat you this way anymore."

Your heart breaks for him. All throughout your childhood they had been a happily married couple. The love they had for each other was immense.

"I'm getting a divorce, and I'm taking your brother with me."

Your heart is so conflicted. On one hand, this is the greatest news you've ever heard. You'll get your dad and brother back! On the other hand, you'd never wish divorce on anyone. While this experience would not be exceptionally hard for you, given your nonexistent relationship with your mom and the fact that you don't even live at home, it would certainly be hard for the people you love.

"After your band mates came and tried to talk some sense into your mother, it made me realize how blind I've been these past few years. She’s been so mean and cruel to you, and I just sat by and watched."

You don't know how your little brother will take it. Your mom has spoiled him with everything under the sun. This will surely devastate him.

Your dad, too, this can't be easy for him. You know it's not easy for him from the quiet sobs you hear on the other side of the phone.

You're not sure what to say as he continues to cry. "Dad-"

"Honey, please forgive me," he pleads, his voice cracking. "I've let your mom walk all over us for years now, and I'm so sorry."

"Dad, it's ok. It's not your fault."

He's quiet for a moment. "I have Ben at Grandma's house now. Can you come? He's crying so hard. It wasn't easy to leave, your mom put up a fight and was screaming. I think it scared him a bit."

"Yes, Dad, I will be there as soon as possible. I'm leaving now. Can you send me the address so I can give it to the driver?"

He sends the address and you hang up, promising you'll see him in just a few minutes.

You hurriedly put your shoes on and run down the stairs. All your members are sat in the living room, some video game lighting up the television.

"My dad’s getting a divorce, and he has my brother at my grandma's right now. I have to go see them," you quickly ramble out, looking in your purse to make sure you have everything.

The guys are stunned at your demeanor. They haven't seen you move with such determination in weeks.

"I'm coming with you," Chan says matter-of-factly, standing from the sofa to put his shoes on.

"Chan, you don't have-"

"I want to. I just want to make sure everything's alright," he sighs at the look you give him, your eyes boring into his. "I'll even stay in the car."

You roll your eyes at that, but you don't fight him. You suppose it doesn't really matter if he's there; you just want to see your family again.

~ ~ ~

One short car ride later and you're jumping out of the car, the seatbelt flinging back against the door. Your brother waits for you on the porch, the biggest smile gracing his lips.

You sprint at him, swinging him off his feet and embracing him tightly. "I've missed you sissy!" he cheers, his little arms wound tight around your neck. His tears have dried since your phone call with your dad, leaving little streaks down his cheeks.

"I've missed you more, Bubby," you tell him, thankful to have him in your arms again. Your eyes crinkle as your mouth splits into the biggest smile.

Your dad comes outside upon your arrival and wraps the two of you in a hug, giving you a tight squeeze. His eyes meet Chan's over your shoulder, who decided to step just outside of the car.

'Thank you,' your dad mouths to Chan, giving him a grateful smile.

‘Thank you’ for what? Chan wasn’t exactly sure. Bringing you to him? He’d do it a million times over. Taking care of you? He’d never let you struggle without him by your side.

Chan gives him a thumbs up in reply, just happy to see you happy again.

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horanghaeluvsinniehae · 2 months

Text

STRAY KIDS!BF COMFORTING YOU WHEN YOU’RE UPSET

||ateez version||

Pairing: skz!bf x gn!reader

Disclaimer: mentions of food, panic attack, curse words, negative feelings in general and reader is quite sad (tell me if i missed anything)

A/n: hi guys…i know it’s messy and sad im sorry:( i wrote it in the verge of tears bc i wanted some comfort, but i hope it’s enjoyable:( thank you for reading!! If you want to request then please do so because i need ideas!!

Here’s my masterlist for better works

Please take care of yourself and be safe!🫂❤️‍🩹

Taglist: @justwonder113 @ihrtlix (if you want to be added please comment or write into asks!)

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skz-streamer · 8 months

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SIMPTOBER ;)

Hiiii :))) so Ik kinktober planning is going around....and since I dont rlly write smut I thought I would create a spin off 😍 sooo I present to you... a fluffy, comforting, and feet-kicking October!

The small things that you do M-List

Day 1: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 2: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 3: Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 4: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 5: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 6: Felix x Fem!Reader

Day 7: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 8: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

Reminders! M-List

Day 9: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 10: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 11: Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 12: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 13: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 14: Felix x Fem!Reader

Day 15: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 16: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

First Dates M-List

Day 17: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 18: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 19: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 20: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 21: Felix x Fem!Reader

+ Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 22: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 23: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

Skz as tropes M-list

Day 24: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader - First love

Day 25: Lee Know x Fem!Reader - He Fell Harder

Day 26: Jeongin x Fem!Reader-Childhood Lovers

Day 27: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader -Love @ first sight

Day 28: Jisung x Fem!Reader - Bffs to Lovers

+ Changbin x Fem!Reader - Brothers Bestfriend

Day 29: Felix x Fem!Reader - Soulmates

Day 30: Seungmin x Fem!Reader - Secret Crush

DAY 31! FIC: Lee Know x Fem!Reader - Crash Course

Permanet Taglist: @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @ot8skz-wifey @ren0325 @felixvsp @crybabyychu @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno @herarcadewasteland @dabiscrustyfeet @kai-lee08

+ a few other moots: @seo--changbin @seospicybin @channieslilbeaniee @kaciidubs @milkandhyunnie @felixvsp

If you wanna be added to the taglist lmk here! (if you choose to you can just be added to this series :)

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zeroeightzeroone · 2 months

Text

my valentine - han jisung

love collection

genre: soft, fluff

synopsis: y/n and jisungs first valentine's day as a couple

pairings: fem!reader (infp) x idol!han jisung (istp)

notes: i made a pinterest! i'll be making mood boards for this collection and other things i write!

wc ~2.3k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:

february 14th, also known as valentine's day where lovers exchange gifts with one another to express their affection. but in korea, valentine's day is when the girls express their feelings for their lover or confess their feelings. however, the latter won't know if their feelings are reciprocated until march 14th, also known as white day, a month later. on this day, the men are expected to exchange gifts of equal extravagance to their lover or clarify their feelings to those who have confessed a month prior.

you and jisung have been dating for a while. the topics of valentine's day and white day have come up, but those conversations are more focused on how those particular days were celebrated in your different upbringings. you are brought up in a more Westernized household where valentine's is expected to be a day where couples exchange gifts. with jisung's upbringing in a korean household, valentine's day being for the boys and white day for the girls. of course, learning about how holidays work and different cultures is always something interesting, another good seed of knowledge.

regardless of the wisdom you receive from your boyfriend during your conversations, how you two would celebrate those days was never discussed. would you only celebrate valentine's day and exchange gifts on the 14th of february? or would you be giving him a gift on the 14th of february and he to you on the 14th of march?

with both cases on hand, if jisung does exchange gifts on the same day, then it's just valentine's day, or he gives his gift to you a month later for the white day. you'd be happy with either outcome you just aren't sure which one you'll have, you're also too nervous to bring the topic up to him and make him feel like he has to give you something, where's the fun in receiving a gift that you had to convince them for? a week before valentine's day, you opt to find something for your boyfriend and see the result the day of instead of asking him about it.

…

todays the day.

your social media accounts are littered with couples posting about each other, whether these are on their feed or to their temporary stories. no matter where you turn on the internet, the sudden influx of couple content makes it clearly undeniable that today is the day, it's valentine's day.

it's not even a particularly special day in your relationship with jisung, it's not a birthday or an anniversary, just an international day to celebrate love, and you're still nervous. regardless of those facts, it's the first valentine's day you're celebrating with jisung since becoming a couple officially; that fact overrides the others.

trying your best to calm your nerves, you're staring out the window as an attempt to distract yourself; reading the names of stores that pass by, the street signs or pondering on anything that catches your eye that passes by. but every single thing leads you back to jisung.

a cafe passes by and it reminds you of the first time you met, should you have gotten something better to pay homage to that?

then a record store. should you have gotten him his favorite records?

everything that passes by leads you to overthink your valentine's day gift. wondering if you didn’t do enough for your first valentines day together? what if you give it to him, and when you look into his eyes, he hates it, but he's trying to cover it up by smiling like he loves it? what if he thinks your gift is too cheesy?

the closer you get to the jyp entertainment building, the more thoughts run rampant in your head. when the driver slows down to a stop, going through the necessary security screening before the car park attendant opens the gate, you feel like your mind is going into overdrive. your thoughts are so scattered that you nearly forget to text him to let him know you're here.

you: we're pulling into the underground lot

your leg bounces anxiously as the car park attendant goes back into the kiosk to open the gates. your phone buzzes.

seungmoo: ok give me a second

did you mention that jisung doesn't know you're coming?

with the help of seungmin, you planned to surprise him at work today. seungmin helped with arranging for someone from the company to pick you up from your apartment, something jisung always tries to do when you come visit

to ensure your safety. it's also easier for you to enter the building without too much unwanted attention down in the underground lot. seungmin also helped keep an eye on your boyfriend so he could update you on where to go and surprise him.

seungmoo: jisung's in channie's room do you remember where it is or

you: i remember thank you so much again

seungmoo: yeah yeah you owe me

…

your hands are clammy, and your heart is racing as you stand outside chan's room, the faint sound of music muffled by the door that divides you and your boyfriend. you gulp, taking a deep breath before you slowly raise one hand, knocking on the door hard enough to be heard over the music.

the music stops, and you hear jisung call, "come in!"

your hand moves to the knob, turning it slowly as you open the door just enough to peek your head inside with a sheepish smile.

jisung jumps in his seat, he's shocked to see you but it's a good surprise–great even. he expected to see one of the company staff or one of the boys when the door opened. instead jisung was pleasantly surprised to see his beautiful girlfriend on the other side. the sight of you has his heart fluttering, unable to bite back the wide smile that pulls on his lips.

"baby! wh– how…"

your boyfriend is giddy as he rushes up onto his feet and out of the rolling chair he’s seated on. he swings the door open to pull you into the room and into his eager arms before shutting the door behind him; immediately, both of his arms are enveloped around you and swaying your bodies back and forth.

“did you miss me or something?” you giggle at how cuddly jisung is being. he doesn’t say anything but he nods his head vigorously.

with a big smile on his face, jisung pulls away to look at you, "you didn't tell me you were coming today!"

"i wanted to surprise you. are you surprised?"

“very! come sit baby,” jisung guides you with his hand wrapped around your wrist, leading you both to sit on the couch pressed up against the wall.

you’re seated across each other, knees brushing when jisung reaches over to place the spotify pillow in your lap, covering your thighs as your skirt had ridden up the slightest bit when you sat down. his other hand is still wrapped around your wrist, caressing the skin gently as he notices something in the corner of his eye. jisung had been preoccupied with shock at the fact you came all the way to his work to surprise him; he had just noticed the bag you were holding in your free hand. the sight of jisung’s round, brown eyes locked on the bag has your own eyes blinking quickly, hands getting clammy in nervousness once again.

"whatcha got there?" jisung gestures to the bag.

blinking quickly again, you shift in your seat and clear your throat awkwardly prompting your boyfriend’s attention to shift from the bag to your face. quietly observing you. you retract your hand from jisung’s hold, both of your hands now on the bag and bringing it up into your lap.

you glance up at him but don’t meet his gaze.

“i.. uh...” you stammer, “i got you a valentines day gift…”

jisung’s chocolate brown eyes light up.

“i-it’s not much but… uh… since it's our first valentines together as a couple, i just wanted to get you something.”

you reach into the bag, still avoiding your boyfriend’s gaze, and your cheeks get progressively warmer as you hand him the first gift.

“i got you some chocolates that i know you like, ones you said you liked before, and then some others i thought you might like.”

jisung feels his cheeks flush, listening to you speak and watching you ruffle through the bag's contents.

“i also got you some of the snacks you like, i’m not gonna take them all out cos i don’t wanna make a mess but…” your voice trails off as you ramble.

you glance up at jisung for a second, wanting to take a moment to gauge his expression before continuing. from that split-second observation, you denounce that jisung doesn’t seem to hate your gifts and give him the last couple of gifts with a lighter weight on your shoulders.

you extend your arms towards jisung, a small card in your hands, and this time you exchange a small, meek smile. jisung’s eyes dart between the beige card in your hands and your face, your nervous eyes watching his every move when he reaches out with both hands to retrieve the card.

jisung’s eyes graze over the two words printed on the envelope; mon cœur.

“it's a gift card. just in case the jyp cafe goes under construction again and you need your iced americano fix, elsewhere.”

“i don’t care if the jyp cafe is up and running,” jisung declares, “i met the most beautiful girl there. if you’re there, i’m there.”

his words have you flustered, your next words coming out in a sputter, “y-you’re cheesy. b-but that’s it, i’m sorry that i couldn’t get you more–“

“this is amazing,” jisung is quick to cut you off, “the fact you got me anything–period–is so much more than enough.”

your boyfriend brings one hand up to cup your cheek, leaning forward and tilting your lips up to meet his own in a slow, gentle kiss.

“thank you,” he lands a quick peck on your lips, “but…”

when jisung leans back fully, he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, and the gesture, coupled with the sudden ‘but’ makes your heart drop.

“but?” you squeak. ‘oh no, he’s going to break it to me that he hates it…’ you think to yourself, bracing for the moment he tells you he indeed hates all the gifts.

“but you being here kinda ruined my surprise,” jisung laughs awkwardly.

his words have your head cocked and brows knit in confusion. jisung moves your gifts off his lap and onto the couch before he rises to his feet, your eyes cautiously following his movements as he bends over behind the arm of the couch across from you.

when jisung straightens his posture, your jaw drops in awe at the sight.

with a sheepish smile on his face, your boyfriend shifts awkwardly on his feet as he holds a bouquet of flowers in his hands. you can’t seem to tear your gaze away from the bouquet, a beautiful mix of a variety of red hues, along with the dark greens of the flower stems and leaves.

“i was gonna come and surprise you after work.”

jisung walks back over to the couch and sits down, outstretching his arms to bring the bouquet closer to you. slowly, your hands come up, brushing over his own as he transfers the flowers into your hands.

“i wasn’t a hundred percent sure what flowers to get, i know roses are the go-to option, but i also wanted to get something to go along with them.”

your boyfriend explains as he watches the way you observe the bouquet with eyes sparkling in admiration.

“one of the stylists has a friend that runs a flower shop, and i had some back and forth with the owner to determine what i wanted to get. when i did some research, red roses are popular on valentines day because it symbolizes passion and love–makes sense because its the day for lovers…”

jisung’s voice is timid as the four-letter word leaves his lips, words that have yet to be exchanged between you two, and he’s apprehensive about saying them too soon, fearing he may scare you off.

he clears his throat and continues, “the owner then showed me photos of the red flowers he had, and i chose those ones,” he points to the daisy-like flowers, the flowers are a darker red, bordering on a chocolate brown, “they’re chocolate cosmos, which also symbolize love… and the name has chocolate in it which i thought was cute.”

unbeknownst to you, jisung purposely omits a detail he learned when choosing which flowers he wanted in the bouquet.

florist: [photo attachments] here are the red flowers we have

jisung scrolls through the photos, scanning the flowers through and through–hoping to find the perfect combination with the red roses. the boy stops at one of the last photos, he finds himself particularly drawn to the darker red of these flowers compared to the previous ones.

jisung: [photo attachment] what are these flowers called?

florist: cosmos; typically, they symbolize order, harmony and balance. in korea they are said to mean happiness, romance and youth the ones pictured are chocolate cosmos, chocolate cosmos in particular, means “i love you more than anyone can”

jisung: i’d like the red roses and chocolate cosmos then! i’ll be sure to give ms. choi the money, and we’ll be in touch again around white day! thank you very much!

with your eyes closed, you take a whiff of the flower bouquet, your senses invaded with the deeply floral and sweet scent of the roses along with notes of vanilla and chocolate from the cosmos. lowering the bouquet down and away from your nose, you open your eyes with a smile, meeting your boyfriend’s warm gaze.

you say fondly, “happy valentines day.”

jisung tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before responding, “happy valentines day, my y/n.”

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minminyoonjii · 2 months

Note

I've read your little reader posts and I'm addicted. I haven't been able to find a single other writer for things like this and your writing is just *chef's kiss*

I loved the nightmare one and I was going to ask about little reader having a nightmare with a different scenario where little reader wakes up from a nightmare and sneaks(or "sneaks") into bed with their cg for better sleep.

Love your work, hope your day/night is amazing. If you don't want to write this for any reason, I won't be offended.

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🧡Stray Kids Scenarios Masterlist

🌹CW

💌 This is a work of fiction, I by all means don't force ship anyone. They have the right to love whomever they want.

🍄Wordcount: 1.1K

Scenario

You whined, holding your plush close to your chest. Fear seeped into your mind as you tried to coax yourself back to sleep. Thoughts taunted each time you closed your eyes. "Caregiver Title," you sniffled, rubbing your eyes with your plush. The silence felt eerie and you wanted nothing more than your caregiver with you. "Need you," you whispered, crawling off your bed, clutching your plush. You patted the walls in the hallway, finding your way to your caregiver's room.

Bang Chan

"Daddy," you whispered, hearing snores coming from the bed. You huffed, crawling onto his bed, "Daddy," you repeated, patting Chan's chest. Chan furrowed his eyebrows, "It's still early," he grumbled, trying to roll aside. Your lips wobbled, "Daddy," you sniffled, holding his cheeks. Chan's eyes flew open, "Little one, why are you crying, hm?" he asked, slightly disorientated. Tears dripped down your cheeks, and silent cries escaped your lips. "Daddy got you, little one. Daddy's silly for not waking up properly," he cooed, rocking your body. You sniffled, burying your face into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Chan sighed in relief the moment sleep caught up to you. "I'll always be right here," he whispered, chuckling softly at his pounding heart.

Lee Minho

Your lips pursed into a pout, crawling onto Minho's bed, "Mama," you said, nosing his neck. Minho gruffed as he was used to his cats sleeping on his face. You whined, nipping his cheek, "Mama," you whined, tears threatening to spill. Minho jolted in his sleep, eyes squinting awake, "What are you doing awake, cupcake?" he asked, stroking your hair. A whine escaped your lips as you relaxed your weight on him. Minho chuckled, kissing your forehead, "Did you have a bad dream?" he asked, shifting to pull the blankets over you. "It scawy, Mama," you sniffled, tears dripping onto Minho's skin. He cooed, tucking you in with him, "Mama's going to have to protect his little cupcake," he said, giving you a tight reassuring squeeze. You giggled, melting in his arms.

Seo Changbin

"Baba, uppies please," you whispered, shaking Changbin's sleeping body. He groaned, accidentally shifting you with him. You squeaked, knocking his headboard with a thud. Sobs wasn't hesitant to escape past your lips. "Baba!" you exclaimed, flinching Changbin awake. "Agi? Agi-ah what's wrong?" he panicked, sitting up to hold you close. You whimpered, bringing his palm to the owie on your head, "Huwts," you cried, holding your plush towards your chest. Changbin felt his heart drop, "Don't worry, hm? Baba's kisses have magic powers," he coaxed, wiping your tears. You hiccuped, looking up at him with sorrow-filled eyes. Changbin cooed, kissing the area you held, "Baba will kiss the pain away, agi-ah" he said, smooching your owie.

Hwang Hyunjin

You whined, crawling into the space next to Hyunjin. "Up, Jinnie," you whispered, poking his cheek but to no avail. You huffed, wiggling under the comforters covering him. Hyunjin instinctively, wrapped his arms around you, tucking you against his chest. A yawn escaped your lips, the fear of your nightmare no longer plaguing your mind. Hyunjin groaned, scrunching his nose, when your hair brushed his lips. You yawned once more, pressing your plush against your cheek as you squirmed to get yourself comfortable. Hyunjin tightened his hold, sleepily rocking your body, "Sleep," he mumbled, kissing your forehead. A final yawn escaped your lips as you shifted, pressing your back against his chest. Hyunjin smiled in his sleep, "Sleep good," he whispered, holding you tight.

Han Jisung

"Appa," you grumbled, climbing onto his bed. Jisung woke up from the motion, "Sweetheart?" he slurred, sleep still coating his mind. You huffed, plopping onto him. Jisung felt the air get knocked out of his lungs, "What was that for, hm?" he chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. "Bad dweam," you sulked, pressing your face further into his chest. Jisung cooed, kissing your forehead, "Aww, sweet thing. You just couldn't sleep after that, could you?" he asked, running his fingers through your hair. You shook your head, turning to press your cheek on his shoulder. Jisung hummed, sitting up with you in his lap, "Let's get comfy and sleep, hm? It's quite early, sweetheart," he whispered, pulling the blankets over the both of you.

Lee Felix

You tiptoed into the room, expecting your Mommy to be in deep sleep when you heard the crudes of slurs. "Mommy?" you questioned, walking towards the sound. Felix screamed when you poked his shoulder. You flinched, tripping back on a misplaced carpet. Felix's eyes widened, "My sunshine!" he exclaimed, quickly tugging off his headset to pick you up. Tears spilt down your face as the dull sting from the fall ached your bottom. Felix whimpered, pampering kisses all over your face, "Oh, oh, my precious sunbeam, you gave Mommy a big scare you know that," he said, holding you close. You sniffled, trembling in his arms. "Aww, sunshine. I'm not mad. Mommy's not mad," he said, wiping your tears. Felix sighed, kissing your nose, "Come on, sunshine. You can sleep on Mommy's lap while he plays," he said, getting himself comfortable with you cosy on his lap.

Kim Seungmin

"Dada, help," you whispered, nudging Seungmin's arm. You sulked, raising to smack Seungmin's face with the plush when he stopped your plush. "Are you trying to murder Dada while he's sleeping, munchkin?" he rasped, sitting up. You sniffled, "Dada, hug," you whined, crawling into his lap. He chuckled, rubbing your tummy, "Did you have a nightmare?" he questioned, smelling the traces of baby shampoo. You nodded, nuzzling his shoulder, "T'was scawy," you mumbled, yawning at the warmth. Seungmin nodded, "We should go back to sleep, munchkin," he yawned, kissing your forehead. You yawned back, getting comfortable in his hold. Seungmin chuckled, patting your bottom, "Scoots aside," he said, cuddling you to his chest.

Yang Jeongin

You quietly snuck your way into Jeongin's bed, tucking yourself under his blankets. Jeongin flinched at the movement, "Angel?" he questioned, facing you. "Ninnin," you whined, nuzzling into his back. Jeongin chuckled, setting his phone aside, "You're lucky I'm still awake," he said, wrapping his arms around you. "What's keeping you awake, my sweet little angel?" he asked, booping your nose. You sniffled, hiding your face behind your plush, "Nightmawe," you slurred. Jeongin frowned, kissing the top of your head, "Aww, my precious. You're safe now, Ninnin's got you right here," he chuckled, rubbing your back. You yawned, melting into his touch, eyes getting droopy by the second. Jeongin hummed, "Big squeeze," he whispered, holding you tight.

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agi-ppangx · 2 months

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two brave soldiers (bang chan x han jisung x gn!reader)

hurt/comfort, no warnings, reader is going through a hard time

an: based on this request !! if anyone is struggling or having a hard time i just want you to know im here for you and im sending you plenty of hugs<3 my dms are open if anyone would like to vent🫶🏽

“we’re home!” you heard chan and jisung exclaim. “ynnie?” they called one more time after they heard nothing more than silence coming from your apartment. Did you go somewhere with your friends? it wasn’t that late so they didn’t even think about you being in bed already. that's why when jisung entered your bedroom he almost jumped when he noticed your curled figure under the thick blanket. you were scrolling mindlessly through tiktok, paying no attention to your surroundings.

“ynnie?” he said softly, trying not to startle you as he sat behind you on the bed. that was also the moment when jisung realised you’d been crying as you sniffled a few times, locking your phone and throwing it between the pillows. "oh, my poor baby. what’s wrong?” he asked, but you didn’t answer as you shuffled to wrap your arms around jisung’s waist, dampening his grey hoodie as you shed a few more tears. he embraced you tightly, becoming your shield from the outside world, from your struggles and problems.

“jisung, what are you do-” chan’s voice reverberated through the room as he peeked in to search for jisung, only to find him comforting you. “yn? what’s going on, baby?” he asked with worry dripping over his voice, but he didn’t need an answer to see you going through something. he gently sat beside you and jisung, looking at him with a wordless question written all over his face, but jisung could only shrug his shoulders as you still sobbed curled up on his lap.

“let’s get comfier, okay honey?” jisung suggested, carding his fingers through your dishevelled hair. you only nodded, letting both of them manoeuvre your aching body so you laid right between them. chan tucked your head into the crook of his neck as jisung wrapped his arms tightly around your waist from behind. you inhaled chan’s cologne, letting it cloud your mind and forget about the world around you.

“do you wanna talk?” chan started hesitantly, but you only shook your head.

“no, ‘m just tired,” you responded, yawning. the boys nodded at your words.

“it’s okay. we’re here anyway, always. don’t forget about it, yeah?” he added, but you were already drifting off, falling deep into the state where nothing and no one could hurt you. but you also knew that when you wake up, you’ll have two brave soldiers right beside you to protect you from any pain that was just waiting to invade your heart and tear it in half.

taglist: @lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh

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evermourning · 4 months

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han jisung x reader | wc: 0.9k | genre: hurt/comfort, sick!fic, highly self-indulgent | warnings: mentions of illness, mentions of anxiety, non-sexual nudity, language, NOT PROOFREAD | a/n: i couldn't find a jiji sickfic so i wrote my own. voila bitches

when you called jisung to let him know you were sick, he dropped everything in his possessions to scramble home to you. it was an odd sight for chan and changbin - they'd been going over an upcoming song that needed a little more reworking on the outro when jisung's phone buzzed. he held it up to his ear, a quiet "hi, jagiya" just barely leaving his lips.

the two men with him watched with equal amazement as his eyes widened. jisung hung up almost instantly, shoving his things into his bag and dashing out of the studio. incredulously, they stared at each other for a moment or two before getting back to work.

jisung arrived home in record speed, out of breath as he stepped into your shared apartment. there you were, curled up on the sofa almost pitifully, a trash can filled to the brim with used tissues beside you.

when you saw him, your eyes were watery and you hugged yourself tighter. in that very moment, the world around jisung stopped. all that mattered was you. he came closer to you, wary of your sickness but prepared to toss caution aside if you needed him that badly.

"i'm so useless," you spat, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. you were shivering- or were you trembling? jisung didn't know. he wasn't a doctor. "i can't even keep myself from getting sick, and at such an important time too. hell, i can't even perform basic tasks. i'm achy as shit."

his heart rate quickened. he didn't want to let you down, ever. but what if he did? his anxiety was threatening to take hold of him, its dark tendrils peeking out of every nook and cranny in his body. he forced himself to remain calm. his most important mission was helping you.

taking a deep breath to ground himself, jisung knelt down beside you, looking up at you with his large, dark eyes.

"hey, look at me. you didn't do anything wrong, okay? you just got sick. that's not your fault at all. how about you go get ready to take a nice, hot shower, and i'll get you something to eat. then, once those two things are done, we can watch a movie together."

you nodded, hesitant, and slowly made your way to the bedroom, a fleece blanket still tightly wrapped around you. once you had disappeared, jisung pulled out his phone and called minho.

"hi, min? can you do me a huge favor? i'll pay you back for this, i promise. you're a better cook than i am, so could you make a batch of chicken noodle soup? thank you so much, man. i owe you."

minho could never turn down a plea from his best friend, and he heard the worry hanging upon every word. he immediately got to work on the soup.

meanwhile, jisung reunited with you in the bathroom, where you were testing the shower's water to make sure it was hot. sure enough, the room was becoming steamy, perfect for your congested nose. you began to undress, but stopped when you noticed jisung's shirt was peculiarly on the ground.

"ji, what are you doing?" you asked, stepping back. he gave you a soft smile, causing your heart to flutter.

"i'm showering with you. you said it yourself: you feel so achy you can't perform mundane tasks. let me help you, please." he tried to take your hands in his, but you pulled them back.

"but if you get sick, it'll...it'll all be my fault. you're on an important schedule." he scoffed at your words.

"i'd rather be sick so you could take care of me. you'll owe me, won't you? now let's get in the shower...i don't want the bill to get any higher!" he finally grabbed you, helping you out of your clothes and into the shower.

"that's because you hold full-on concerts in here, doofus." you grumbled. usually, whenever you showered with him, jisung did not wait to make suggestive comments about you. but this time, all that escaped from his lips were soft, loving words of praise. you truly brought out the best in him.

you stood there, your legs ready to give out on you at any moment, knowing that jisung would catch you. the feeling of his soft, soapy hands carefully massaging your scalp was tranquil. he helped wash every inch of your body, his eyes never leaving yours.

it was endearing, you reminded yourself, how jisung knew the risks of helping you. he had a career where he needed to be healthy all the time. but in this very moment, it was just you and him. no obstacles or fears were there to harm you. you knew moments like these were finite, tangible only until your brain was weary with forget. you were determined to keep this memory forever. to tell jisung when he needed a story to cheer him up, and maybe even to tell to your own children someday.

by the time minho arrived with the soup, you were sound asleep on the couch, in your favorite pajamas and tucked carefully into the blanket. your head was in jisung's lap, and his eyes were filled to the very brim with devotion.

he wished you could stay here, beside him, until his final moments.

#ren writes!! <3 #evermourning #stray kids #skz #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung #han skz #han stray kids #han jisung x reader #han x reader #3racha #han jisung stray kids #fluff #skz fluff #skz hurt/comfort #skz imagines

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parkinglotdelulu · 10 months

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bf!skz x gn!reader - How each member helps you with anxiety ⛅️🧸

a/n: my qualifications for writing this is I have major anxiety and these are all the things I wish people would do for me that match skz members personality! enjoy - 🌞

tw: mentions of anxiety

word count: 615

Chan

I feel like Chan would definitely be one to hold you when you are feeling anxious. First of all his hugs seem so safe and warm. But if you’re in a not-so-private place he would definitely just hold your hand or rest his hand on your knee. That small amount of contact with a reassuring squeeze will make you feel calmer and safer.

Lee Know

Lee Know is definitely the type of person to show love and care through actions rather than words. So when you are super anxious, he would ensure you’ve eaten and drank water. Having low blood sugar when you’re anxious is really terrible so he wants to make sure you're healthy. I think Lee Know would also just try and be around you, just sitting next to you and not leaving your side to show his support.

Changbin

I think changbin would try to make you laugh. Try and distract you from overthinking and spiraling by doing something funny or just being extra cute. Whether its going cutesy poses or showing you funny videos. He would try everything just to make you smile again. Oh and he is most definitely going to show you the most recent girl group dance he learned.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin would want to take you out for a peaceful day of activities. You guys would go on a walk through the park, get food and just try to enjoy the beauty of the world around you instead. But after a long day you guys would definitely go stargazing and talk about anything and everything. Have a deep conversation that leaves not only you, but hyunjin as well, with a new perspective and you’ll feel ever closer than before…no matter how many times you do it.

Han

As we know Han always has his headphones, I don’t think he leaves the house without them tbh. So if you're in a public (or even private) setting and get overwhelmed/ anxious he would most definitely give you his headphones in a heartbeat. He would even go a step further with picking out songs or even having a playlist for you ready to go whenever you're anxious.

Felix

Felix of course is a touchy person and while that brings you great comfort when you're anxious, it's not the only thing Felix will do. He is a gamer, so honestly I feel like he would try to distract you with a game. Either he will pull up a chair or let you sit with him and watch him play, or he would have you guys play Mario Kart together. Either way, you're going to feel safe in his arms and distracted from your thoughts with games.

Seungmin

Seungmin is definitely not as much of a touchy person but I feel like he would hold your hand and make you tell him what was wrong and what's going through your head just so he can debunk your anxious thoughts. I feel like Seungmin is just very practical and takes the approach of processing your anxieties with you.

Jeongin

I think he would also be one to try and distract you. He would take you out to see a movie or go get food. Anything to get you out of the house because sometimes you need that. A breath of fresh air and jeongin always knows when you are the type of anxious that needs a distraction. For real this man would DRAG you out of bed and not tell you where you are going. Of course, this is all out of love, he wouldn't dare to actually force you to go somewhere if you truly weren't up for it!

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broken-glowsticks · 3 months

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What Once was Mine

Chapter 11 - When, How, and Why

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.

NOT ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE PROOF READ!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Additional warnings: mentions of explicit sex, loss of virginity, fingering (f receiving), piv, mentions of an underage related, mentions of bruises and bodily harm, slight angst.

Previous • Main • Next

“What do you mean he almost kissed you?!” Felix's deep baritone ricocheted off the walls of his room, immediately followed by your hasty shushing.

“Ssshhhh! Felix, shut your face! I don't want Chan to hear!”

“Chan's elbows deep in work right now, his headphones are basically fused to his head. He's not going to hear anything.” Felix retorted, grabbing your wrists and removing the hands you had shoved against his mouth to shut him up. He didn't let you go, though. “Now spill,” he commanded, pulling you closer, a devious smile on his lips, “what exactly happened?”

With a sigh, you pulled your hands from Felix's grasp. Scooting closer to him on his bed, you tried to keep your voice down as you relayed the events that had happened the previous night.

“No fucking way, you little tease!” Felix basically sang as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, drawing you in to roughly nuzzle you.

“Ow, ow, ow, Felix, knock it off!” You whined, shoving him off you and yanking away the pillow he was leaning on as a form of cover. Felix only giggled.

“Alright, joking aside,” Felix began, once again pulling you in but gentler this time. “How do you feel about what almost happened?”

You sighed. Laying down, you rested your head on Felix's leg, gathering your thoughts as he began to tenderly stroke your hair. How did you really feel about Hyunjin almost kissing you?

“I feel like there's something going on that he's not telling me.”

“Okay, elaborate?”

“Hyunjin… struggles to communicate how he feels, he always has. The sex… always meant more.”

“More for him? I thought it was just something casual?” Felix meant no harm in his questions, genuinely wanting to understand. Before tonight, Felix didn't know Hyunjin as anything other than an obstacle to you and Changbins’ budding relationship. Everything he's ever learned about the guy has come from Jisungs’ blatant and self-admitted biased view. And while you knew Felix was still trying to sort things out, it still stung to be reminded how much you wished the sex with Hyunjin meant something different than it did. But you never pushed. You never dared to expose yourself like that because the entire time you were with him, you knew what those moments meant for Hyunjin.

“Hooking up…” you began, trying to find the words to properly express yourself, “sure, we would sometimes do it for fun or to de-stress, but that's not how it started.”

“Then… how did it start?” Taking your face in his hands, Felix leaned over, meeting his eyes with yours. “If the sex wasn't mainly just for fun, then what made you two start up in the first place?”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. You struggled to hold Felix's gaze, but he asked, and you've never spoken about this to anyone, not even Jisung, who's known you since before Hyunjin even re-entered your life. You don't know why you never spoke about it, maybe it was time.

“Alright, let's get some snacks and something to drink, I might get emotional.”

○●♡☆♡●○

You sniffled as you curled yourself further under your fluffy comforter, makeup smearing against your pillow - you didn't care, you were too heartbroken. Tonight was supposed to be the best date of your teenage life, never would you have thought someone from Hyunjins untouchable circle would take any kind of interest in you, you always assumed they thought too highly of themselves based on how they acted in the halls. Turns out you were right.

You had planned this night for days. All dressed up in the new outfit you had gotten at the mall with Jisung and his girlfriend, even tentatively donning the pretty lingerie set you had snuck off to buy in the event things got heated and felt right. Your parents weren't home, set to be gone until some time tomorrow afternoon. You had made a simple dinner and picked out a few movies to possibly rent in the event the night stayed chaste. Everything was all set, yet as time ticked by, you began to worry. When your dates' appointed arrival time came and went, you began to get nervous, texting him and Hyunjin in an attempt to get ahold of the elusive boy.

You weren't expecting Hyunjin to be able to do much, he had mentioned he had plans of his own and would check in whenever he had the time, but so far he had only been able to reply twice - both times before your date was even meant to begin. At least Hyunjin managed to reply at all. You had debated over calling Jisung, but you very much didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of admitting you may have gotten stood up because he was so against the date in the first place, only helping because you expressed it was something you really wanted. Maybe you should call your date? Not wanting to seem clingy and give him the benefit of the doubt you simply assumed his phone had died or something of the sort, leading you to lay on the couch to wait for him, eating chocolate and ice cream with some random YouTube videos playing to fill the dead air as you scrolled social media. That's when you saw it.

You had followed this boy on Instagram a little bit ago, hanging on his every post as a way to glean more knowledge of him, but at this moment you wished you didn't even know about his Instagram page at all. There, at the very top of your feed, was a carousel of images of him at a party, an impossibly gorgeous girl clinging to him like shrink wrap.

A burn scorched your throat as it tightened, your heart dropping to your stomach. Hot, angry tears welled in your eyes as, stupidly, you tapped on his profile picture and pulled up his stories, the time stamp indicating he posted only minutes ago. He looked like he was having so much fun, especially with that girl who was showing up often. The final nail in the coffin was when you saw your would-be date's final story, where - presumably - one of his friends had filmed him explicitly licking whipped cream off the girl's chest. Broken and disgusted, you aggressively dashed away your phone, escaping your room to wallow in your sorrows. You stayed there, sobbing, until you had no more tears to give, seeking solace within the plush embrace of your bed.

You were unsure when you started debating over cleaning up, maybe eating the dinner you made - no point in letting good food go to waste. You had only just managed to sit upright in your bed when you heard the tell-tale sign of a fist thrashing against your door, frequent ringing of your doorbell accompanying. The barrage of noise startled you into place, and you thought about pretending you weren't even home, but the sounds of a well-known voice shouting through the wood eased your nerves.

“Y/N? Beautiful, it's me, open up!!” Hyunjins strained voice shouted, screaming at the top of his lungs in hopes you would be able to hear him regardless of wherever you were hiding in the house.

Wordlessly, you made your way from your bed to the front door, turning on the front light so he knew you were there.

“Hyunjin, what are you-?”

“I'm gonna kill that fucking ass-hole,” Hyunjin growled through grit teeth the moment you opened the door, cutting you off by placing his hands on either side of your face. He could feel his temper rising as he took in your smudged makeup and red, puffy eyes. Despite his rough tone he held your face so gently that you almost began to cry again. “I swear to you, I didn't know he was going to do this.”

“I know it wasn't your fault Jinnie…” you breathed, attempting to remain collected enough to not give into your heartbreak. It wasn't enough, as soon as you opened your mouth to reassure him another sob tore from you and you were once again lost. Hyunjin didn't bat an eye, wrapping himself around you and holding you so tightly it felt as though he was the only thing even remotely keeping you together.

“I knew it was too good to be true, but I still believed that he might like me. That, maybe, I had a chance. God, I feel so stupid, Hyunjin!” You clung to Hyunjins denim jacket as you wailed shamelessly into the collar, “and… and when I saw his stories, how this girl was glued to him… it's dumb and I know I deserve better, but I still couldn't help but wonder why couldn't that be me? Did he think I wasn't good enough, not hot enough? What am I missing that I'm so undesirable to him?”

“Y/N stop,” Hyunjins hands were once again at your face, drawing your gaze to his. “You're beautiful, you know you are. Just because this guy doesn't see it, that doesn't mean it's not true. Hell, you even just said that you know you deserve better.” he said gently, pressing his forehead to yours. “God I'm so fucking angry,” he muttered more to himself than anything, squeezing his eyes shut. How dare this prick of a “friend” hurt you like this, in the exact same way he did?

“I know… I know I deserve better, I'm not ugly, but it's so hard to feel like I'm pretty, that I'm desirable at all, when guys keep rejecting me.”

“All those guys are idiots.” Hyunjin sighed, “I wish I could show you how desirable you really are,” he said in a whisper, his brows furrowed and eyes squeezing tighter. It hurt him so much to hear you speak like that.

“I love you for wanting that, but… I don't see how you could,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his, your glossy eyes drifting over his pained features. Was it just the harsh shadows from the front light, or did he have a couple of bruises on his face?

“I can think of one way,” Hyunjin said, his voice coming out small, almost shy. This surprised you. You couldn't remember the last time he came off as shy.

“What do you mean, Jinnie?” You asked in an equally soft tone, your curiosity and fear of spooking him out of sharing his idea overtaking the uncertainty of the possible bruises on his face.

Hyunjins eyes open slowly, his gaze unreadable. You didn't know what it was, but something about the intensity of his stare made you flush, rendering you speechless. Eventually, the longer you looked, the better you could see it - the internal war he was having with himself. Whatever his thought was, he was unsure over whether or not to follow through. For Hyunjin, he was unsure if this would help or if it was even something you needed. He was worried that after what happened to him tonight, he was focusing too much over what he needed.

“Are you not going to tell me?” You finally asked, trying to goad him into fussing up, “did you change your mind?”

“No, I just… I don't want to upset you.”

“Sounds like you have something risky in mind.”

“That's putting it lightly,” he chuckled, ghosting his thumb over your cheek. “I don't think we'd be the same after, and that scares me, I don't want you to shut me out, Beautiful.”

“Just do it, Jinnie. I know that regardless of whatever you have in mind, you just want to help. I could never be upset at you for that.”

“Are you sure?” He rasped, snaking one of his arms around your waist. Your pulse thudded at his actions, but after a stiff swallow, you nodded anyway.

“I'm sure Hyunjin, I trust you.”

Hyunjins eyes became hooded as he scanned your face, his lower lip catching between his teeth as he tipped your chin up with the hand that wasn't increasing its grip on your waist. You stopped breathing as Hyunjin ran his thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness of your skin before delving in for a bite.

You whimpered at the gentle sting as he tugged at your lower lip, eyes screwed shut and hands clutching at his tear stained denim jacket. Before you could even question what was happening, Hyunjins' other arm wrapped around you, pulling your body hard against his as he tilted his head to kiss you properly. Your head spun. All you could focus on was his soft, plush, lips, and warm breath.

A squeal sneaked out of you when Hyunjin licked your lower lip, allowing him to slip between your lips when you gasped in surprise. You put up no fight, allowing him to roam as he pleased. You were so lost in everything about him, his touch, his smell, his taste. It was as if you were caught in a current drifting you further out to sea. Was this why every girl in town wanted a chance just to spend a night with him? Or was he so good because he got around? He was just kissing you, and you could feel your excitement stirring. How did it feel to do more than just kiss him? Wanting to know you released your grip on his jacket, slipping your hands beneath the collar.

Hyunjin shuttered at your cool touch, a stark contrast to the hot skin of his neck. Goosebumps raised as he felt you slip his jacket off of him, and he released your waist to help you along, dropping the fabric by the front door and kicking off his shoes. He was so focused that he let out a small noise of surprise when you slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, hands resting on his abdomen.

“Y/N,” he murmured against your lips, chuckling when you refused to stop kissing him. Running a hand into your hair, he held on gently as he pulled away, full on grinning when your lips tried to chase after him, “easy there, girl.”

“Why'd you stop?” You softly whined, somewhat out of breath, a pout on your sweet lips.

“I just don't want to keep this up right by the front door, I keep thinking your parents are going to catch us or something,” Hyunjin said light heartedly, his eyes still lingering on your lips. He already wanted to kiss you again.

“Then…” you began, feeling shy at what you were about to suggest, “my room?”

“Your room,” Hyunjin agreed, lifting you from the floor and carrying your giggly self to your bed. Tearing off his flannel and climbing on top of you, he finally took a moment to take in your outfit. His heart sank once he realized this outfit was new, and you looked absolutely stunning in it. How dare your date not come to see how much effort you put in for tonight. Hyunjins hands clenched at your sheets as he told himself that at least you wouldn't have dressed up for nothing. He wouldn't let your efforts tonight go to waste.

“Hyunjin, are you alright?” Hyunjins eyes met yours, and he leaned in to place a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I'm just nervous, I didn’t think you'd take it this far.”

“I didn't either,” you admitted, suddenly unable to look at him, “but I just… I liked what we were doing, how you were making me feel.” Your cheeks burned, but Hyunjin was right. You deserved to feel beautiful, and you were grateful that it was Hyunjin who was making you feel this way. “Hyunjin… I- I want you to keep going… would you… would you be my first?”

Hyunjins’ breath caught in his throat, and in an instant, he no longer felt like the full of confidence school bad boy. Instead, he was just a boy, a boy with his heart hammering in his chest as he looked down at the girl he secretly loved with the widest eyes imaginable.

“Are- Are you sure?” He whispered, the tremor in his voice matching the one shaking his body.

“Yes,” you breathed, finding the courage to look at him again. “I'm sure.”

With a fervored nod of his head, Hyunjin sat up and hastily fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket, praying that he still had a condom tucked away. With relief, he found one. He couldn't stop shaking.

“I'll stop whenever you tell me to,” Hyunjin said with a mix of excitement and anxiety, placing the condom next to you on the bed, “you call all the shots. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?”

Unable to speak, you nodded, taking several deep, steadying breaths as Hyunjin returned above you, wasting no time to kiss you sweetly. You did your best to focus on the moment, on the slant of his lips, the smell of his cologne clinging to his undershirt, of his shaky hand that trailed under your shirt to run his hand over your breast which caused your breath to hitch.

“Y/N, are you wearing lingerie?” Hyunjin murmured. Your hands flew to your face to cover your now tomato red face before he could even finish asking his question. Once again, you were only able to nod. With a groan, Hyunjin, unceremoniously and without warning, pushed your shirt up as far as it would go before sitting back on his haunches and tearing your bottoms off of you. Fuck, to think that good-for-nothing almost saw you in this. “I can't tell you how glad I am to be the only one to see you in this,” he said admiringly, pressing kisses to your knees, then down your inner thighs.

Hyunjin paused for a moment, giving you a chance to stop him before he went any further, but when you remained hiding behind your hands he continued to pepper kisses between your thighs as he worked his way down. With a small smirk, Hyunjin traced the little bow that topped the front of your lace panties. You were a present just for him. He felt grateful, getting something just for him.

Wanting to show just how appreciative he was, Hyunjin spread your legs, slotting his head in between them and placing soft kisses to your covered heat. He relished in your shy, needy whimpers as he ran his fingers up and down your clothed slit, pressing more kisses over your clit as the dampness against your panties worsened.

“I'm going to eat you out first before we do this, baby, I want you relaxed and feeling good before I try sliding in,” he instructed as he pulled your panties down your legs with his teeth and slid his finger over your now exposed slit.

You were already a panting mess from this little bit of stimulation, your hands no longer hiding your face but bunched at your chest as you watched him toy with you. You had never seen this side of Hyunjin before and were getting more and more aroused as he focused on your pleasure. You couldn't take your eyes off him, especially as he rested one of your legs over his shoulder, collecting your wetness on his middle finger before easing it between your folds. He pumped the digit in and out a few times, checking if there was any discomfort before easing in another finger. Your eyes fluttered closed at the filling sensation, savoring the delicious drag of his fingers as they slowly pumped in and out of you. Hyunjin took great care in building you up, exploring which spots were your weakest and prodding at them mercilessly until you were shaking beneath him. Right when you thought the sensation couldn't get more intense, Hyunjins' tongue slid over your sensitive clit, causing your hips to buck. Hyunjin grunted but continued licking and swirling his tongue over the bundle of nerves as his fingers continued to expertly press at your gummy walls. Hyunjin was reading you so well and all you could do was grasp at his hair and cry out pathetic moans beneath him.

Before you could even say anything, your orgasm rapidly built before exploding, your creaminess coating Hyunjins’ tongue and fingers. Your body shuttered, and Hyunjin continued to rub you walls as he helped ease you down.

“That's it, baby, you did so good. Just stay relaxed, okay?” Hyunjin cooed, licking you from his lips and fingers and reaching for the condom, “are you ready?”

“I- I think so,” you stammered out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak. Your head felt so cluttered, unable to believe Hyunjin just made you cum. Hyunjin, the guy you've known since you were a kid and who you've been able to platonically share a bed with. You were almost starting to second guess whether or not you should really go through with this, maybe Hyunjin was right about things changing, maybe it would change too much and you'd lose the closeness you had.

You didn't have time to dwell on these hesitant thoughts, Hyunjin unbuttoning his jeans and beginning to slip them down caught your full attention and you could do nothing but watch with bated breath as his stunning cock sprang free. It was too late. You had passed the point of no return, and there was nothing left to do but indulge, to let yourself dive as deep as you could and let yourself drown.

Or maybe that's just how Hyunjin was seeing it. Tonight did not go as he planned, before he deigned to open social media - all the while hiding in a tube slide at a child's park - he had gotten hurt, he was on the run, in overlapping shades of pain, his only solace being that at least you were having a good night with one of his friends. When Hyunjin had seen that the guy had ditched you for a party and some other girl, he couldn't think of a worse end to his night than leaving you to ache alone. So he ran to you, risking himself further with the exposure, but he didn't matter at that moment. He would swallow everything down, just for a chance to lift your spirits, he could deal with his own pain later, he just needed to help you otherwise he didn't think he could last the night.

He truly wasn't thinking of himself when he kissed you, Hyunjin only wanted to do whatever he could to prove to you that you are worthy of being wanted. But when you pulled him close, when you wanted more, Hyunjin realized he needed the same thing - only in a slightly different way.

Tonight had been horrible for you and Hyunjin before he came to you. He was not going to let the sun rise without something good happening for the both of you not realizing that the moment he took your hand in his, both sets of clothes now discarded on your bedroom floor, lips and tongues melting together as his protected head teasing your entrance, that he was giving the both of you the thing you wanted from each other the most.

It hurt, of course, but Hyunjin was gentle. Easing himself in and out in sections, going inch by inch and refusing to push deeper until you were accustomed. He didn't want you to cry. He refused to make you bleed, and when he finally finally bottomed out, you thought you were going to faint from how shallow your breathing was.

“Breath, baby, breath,” he whispered, kissing you tenderly, “I won't move until you breathe.”

“Hyunjin…” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and drinking in his gentle attention. “It's okay, you can move, it doesn't hurt,” you reassured. With a few more kisses, Hyunjin rested his forehead for yours before he slowly rolled his hips into yours.

You squeezed your eyes shut, the sensation - while not entirely painful - felt foreign, and you struggled to acclimate quickly, but you refused to let him stop. You knew you just needed to ride this out, that it would get better, and it did. You could feel your body accepting him and soon wanting more.

“Jinnie… more, it's not enough, more,” you mewled, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to draw him closer.

“Okay, Beautiful, I'll take care of you. Just lay back, Jinnie will make you feel good,” Hyunjin murmured, pressing kissing into your neck and picking up his pace, earning himself a few sweet moans.

It was only when all tension left your body that Hyunjin dared to truly let himself enjoy you. Adjusting so he was on his knees, he pulled your legs up, holding each behind your knees as he began to truly fuck himself into you. Hyunjin watched as your sweet, shy moans turned into heated, wanton screams as he plowed into your gummy spot. Never did he think he would see you make such a gorgeous face or hear your pussy make such filthy squelching sounds as his dick slipped in and out of you. For a moment, Hyunjin thought he was dreaming as he watched you drown in bliss below him. If he was, he never wanted to wake up. He wanted to stay right here, in this too-good-to-be-true moment where all the worries from hours ago purged themselves from his mind.

“Hyun… Jin… Jinnie…” you gasped out, feeling the pressure from your building orgasm start to grow.

“Does it feel good, Beautiful? Are you gonna cum?” He asked in ragged breaths.

“Yes… yes, I think I'm close. Oh, please don't stop,” you begged, closing your eyes and throwing your head back onto your pillow. Almost as soon as you finished uttering those words, your body clenched around him as you came for the second time, a creamy ring coating Hyunjins dick.

“Fuck, baby,” Hyunjin groaned, slamming his dick into you more rapidly as he chased his own orgasm.

Feeling his hips beginning to stutter, you forced your tired eyes to open just in time to watch Hyunjins’ beautiful face twist in pleasure as he came, melodic moans bouncing off your walls. You did your best to memorize that face as he came down from his high.

After a moment of catching his breath, Hyunjin eased himself out of you to remove the condom, your body giving a shudder at the lack of his body heat.

“Let's clean up, yeah?” Hyunjin suggested, helping you up from the bed and leading the two of you to the bathroom. The following intimate moments of clean-up felt oddly comfortable and right. Once your post-orgasm bliss had faded, you expected an air of awkwardness to be lingerie around you both, but there never was.

“Hey, can I wear your flanel?”

“What?” Hyunjin asked with a laugh.

“That's what always happens in the movies. The girl wears the guys clothes after sex. I kinda wanna try it.”

“Just for a bit? That's dumb,” he replied but handed you his flannel anyway as he grabbed the rest of his clothes to put back on.

You needed to change out of your lingerie set, so you opted to wear nothing but his flannel, a comfort pair of panties, and some knee-high socks. You wanted to wear his shirt for the bit, so you were going to commit. Besides, he had officially seen too much for you to be shy at this point.

“Was this food meant to be for tonight?” Hyunjins voice called from the kitchen. You didn't notice he had left your room since he didn't bother to shut the door.

“Yeah,” you replied as you joined him in the dimly lit kitchen, missing his double take and blushing at your choice in attire. “I was actually going to come eat it before you showed up. It's meant for two, want some, or have you eaten?”

“I haven't. Go rest, I'll heat this up.” With a smile, you nodded, leaning up to place a peck on his still tinted cheek.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Jinnie. I needed it.”

“Yeah, of course, Beautiful,” he said as you walked into the living room, “I needed it too…” he added, but you were too far to hear.

It didn't take long for the food to be reheated and soon the two of you were nestled on the couch together, sharing a blanket in the dark living room as one of the movies you had picked out for tonight played.

“In a way, I'm kind of glad the jackass never showed up, I got to have this date with you instead,” Hyunjins said rather sincerely. It made your heart flutter.

“I'm glad too. He set you up to come to my rescue and make my night better. Maybe even better than if he had actually shown up.”

“Do you really mean that?” Hyunjin asked, his heart melting as he set down his plate to pull you close and nuzzle you, “awwwww you're too sweet!”

“Alright, alright, that's enough!” You laughed, pushing his face from yours. You had meant the gesture to be light-hearted, but your nerves spiked the instant Hyunjins head shot back in recoil, giving a small hiss of pain. “Oh my god, Hyunjin, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

“No, no, no, it's ok,” he reassured, his hand hovering over his eye as if he wanted to soothe the skin but feared touching it.

“Are you sure? Let me see,” you attempted to get closer, but Hyunjins long arm held you back.

“I'm fine, Y/N, let's just watch the movie.”

You blinked at him before frowning and attempted to lunge at him again.

“Hyunjin, what are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing!” He said a little too defensively. Not in the mood to play games, you stood from the couch and walked off. Hyunjin assumed this was you pouting but ultimately dropped the matter, how wrong he was.

Stomping to the light switch, you bathed the livingstone in bright light, noticing the completely unsubtle way Hyunjin dove for cover. You weren't letting this slide. Over to the couch, you didn't even attempt to pull away the pillow Hyunjin used to cover his face, instead climbing on top of him and began to tickle his sides. Instantly, his body began to jerk and wiggle, but he was adamant on not letting you see his face. However, he was struggling to handle your body on top of him and soon had no choice but to tip the both of you off the couch in an attempt to ease the ache.

This did not work in his favor. Easily catching yourself, you now stood over him, the small fall making him release his grip on the pillow just enough for you to yank it from his hands.

Your arms paused as you held the pillow mid-air in shock. Your eyes weren't playing tricks earlier. It wasn't just a trick of the light. Blooming across his cheek bone and at the corner of his lips were two bruises, and there was even a small cut near his brow that would easily be covered by his hair, were he not on his back.

“Hyunjin, what happened to you…?” You breathed, dropping the pillow. Slowly dropping to your knees, you sat on Hyunjins hips, keeping him pinned in place so he couldn't escape.

Hyunjin didn't answer. He couldn’t even meet your eyes as your fingers barely ghosted over the discolored skin. Without realizing it, you dropped your hand on his side, only to snap your hand away when he flinched in pain. You sat as still as a statue for a few moments before reaching down and lifting his shirt, showing more discoloration.

You felt horrible. How could you not notice? How could you not see? The instant the thought popped into your head, realization hit you.

“This is why you didn't want to be by the front door… with the light right on you. You didn't worry in my room cause the lights were off, and in the bathroom and kitchen too… There was only dim lighting. It was so I couldn't see.” The look of guilt on Hyunjins face was all you needed to confirm that you were right. He was hiding this from you, but why? What happened to your Hyunjin that he came to you so hurt?

“Please don't cry, beautiful. You've already cried so much tonight.”

“Then tell me what happened,” you said firmly.

Hyunjins lips pressed together, he didn't want to open up, he especially didn't want to ruin the special evening you two were just having together. But he knew you wouldn't let this slide, and if he was honest… someone about the way you were dressed brought him back to the surprising feeling of comfort he felt while being in bed with you.

“... okay,” he eventually relented, gingerly sitting up and bumping noses with you. “But kiss me first.”

“Huh?”

“Just… please.”

He sounded so tired and defeated. Wanting nothing more than to swallow up all his pain, you didn't hesitate again, wrapping your arms around his neck and bushing your lips over his.

Hyunjin kissed you back desperately, wrapping his arms around you and holding on to you. If he didn't, he felt he would fall apart, a stark contrast to the way he held you in your doorway. You didn't realize when his hand had slipped under his flanel until his nails raked over your back, raising goosebumps in their wake as his hands traveled between your bodies.

“Hyunjin,” you called, pulling from his lips. He didn't stop, his lips dropping to your neck the moment you pulled away. “Hyunjin,” you said again, attempting to sound more stern with little success. You were melting under his touch again.

“I just want to feel you against me,” he mumbled against your skin, unbuttoning the flannel and opening it just enough to expose you, but not take it off completely. He then pulled back, once again pulling off his tee before leaning back into you, his arms snaking around you under his shirt and his face buried in the crook of your neck.

You two stayed stationery in that position for a few moments, the only sound coming from your forgotten move. Not knowing what else to do for Hyunjin, at that moment, you slid your fingers into his hair and scratched gently at his skull. Only then did Hyunjin finally relax. He finally felt the same warmth, safety, and intimacy from earlier, making it easier for him to finally explain what happened.

You weren't the only one heartbroken that night. Hyunjin had gotten involved with an older woman. He was really having fun with her. He thought she actually cared about him. She made him feel like somebody. But right when he thought things were going great, that's when everything went wrong.

What was supposed to be a normal night together turned into him finding out she was married in the worst way possibly, with her husband catching them getting hot and heavy together and beating the shit out of Hyunjin for messing around with someone he shouldn't. The guy wouldn't even believe Hyunjin when he said he didn't know the woman was married.

Turns out this woman has a history of luring young, hot guys to her with tons of spoiling and praise, only to then have her way with them until her husband finds out and beats the shit out of the poor boy. Rinse and repeat, right up to Hyunjin. The latest in a line of victims.

Hyunjin managed to get away but never before had he felt so cheap and pathetic, this wasn't the first time a girl slept with him for her own gain but sometimes about this time just made him feel so… worthless. It brought tears to his eyes to admit this, and he clung to you tightly as he cried.

You've never known Hyunjin could cry so hard, and it broke your heart to learn that this happened to him, but you were also proud of him. He said he never intended on telling anyone and that he was just going to hold on to this until the day he died, but he didn't. He told you, he let it out, and even though it broke your heart to see him like this, you wanted him to always talk to someone, even if it wasn't you. You also promised that you would do whatever it took to make him comfortable enough to open up, that while you couldn't fix his problems, you could be his safe place.

“It's funny, but… this is what we're doing right now. It's what I need. This is my safe place,” Hyunjin admitted, his lips tickling your collar bone.

“The skin contact??” By now you and Hyunjin had made your way back to your bed, settling in under the covers, each of you wearing next to nothing so Hyunjin could feel as much of you against him as possible.

“Kinda, just… the intimacy of it all. If I could, I'd be buried inside you again. I want to be as close to you as I can. It makes me feel like I'm not worthless. It makes me feel wanted.”

“Having your dick in someone makes you feel wanted?” You teasingly asked with a giggle.

“No, baby,” Hyunjin replied with a laugh, lifting his head from your chest to fix you with a soft stare. “I only feel like this because it's you. The only girl I've shared years of my life and my darkest secrets. The only girl who trusts me so much she'd ask me to be her first and who loves me enough to sit in and listen to my problems the same night.” You were too stunned to speak, but you were sure Hyunjin could see just how red your face was. “You're my closest and most trusted friend, Y/N. I think sex and stuff like that will only feel this special, this safe and warm, with you.” It was also because Hyunjin was secretly in love with you too, but he decided to keep that part to himself, he wanted to enjoy this moment, this look on your face, for just a little while longer.

“I… I think so too, Hyun. It won't ever mean the same with anyone else,” you said, decidingly also refusing to admit the feelings you've been harboring for Hyunjin.

A sweet smile spread across Hyunjin's face, his eyes curving into crescents. You knew you were essentially digging your own grave, dooming yourself to what you assumed was going to be a mainly physical relationship, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Not when Hyunjin looked so irresistible and said such endearments, snuggling against you and showering your skin with kisses, leading you two to get lost in each other again until you fell asleep in each other's arms, only for him to cling to you the all throughout the next morning. If you could just have more moments like this with him, it would all be worth it. Anything to be the safe space for the boy you were so desperately in love with.

○●☆♡☆●○

“So that's it, that's how you and Hyunjin became, well, you and Hyunjin. You were in love with him, and you were his security blanket.”

“I mean, kinda,” you replied, polishing off the last of your water bottle and opening another. “Sex with me, at least at the beginning, meant so much to him because I was someone who really cared about him. He never had to doubt if I was doing things with him for clout or for some sick kick. That gave him a sense of safety, and it gave him space to open up. And I was only too eager to please cause not only was I completely in love with him, but he did mean so much to me beyond that. He was a friend who put everything aside, even his own issues, to look out for me.”

“Which is why you feel bad you can't be as close to him as you used to be and why when he keeps things to himself, it bothers you so much.”

“Exactly.” Heaving a deep sigh, you rummaged through your pile of trash to hopefully find an unopened piece of candy. Meanwhile, Felix sat silently next to you, feeling sympathetic to your situation.

“I take it you and Changbin haven't talked about any of this?” Felix asked tentatively, making you pause your search.

“... No, I'm not even sure if it's worth bringing up,” you admitted, laying back against Felix's mattress and watching his ceiling fan turn. “It was such a big part of my life, but it's over now. I made my choice, and I chose myself. I'm finally with someone who's as much mine as I am theirs. I don't want to throw a wrench into things by telling him about something that ended before we even got together.”

“So you have no regrets then?”

“None. I'm happy with Changbin, even if I don't get to see him as often as I like.”

Just then, the sound of Chan's door opening and closing caught yours and Felix's attention. It was the first time you've heard any noise coming from him since you even got to the boys' shared apartment, and upon checking the time, you noticed that it was already 11 in the evening.

“Hey, how often do you get to see Bin?” Felix asked.

“Barely… I see him just slightly more often than I see my own roommate.”

“I hardly see my roommate anymore either,” Felix said, a deep sense of dread building in him. “How… How long has it been since you and Bin started dating?” You swallowed hard at his question, choosing instead to focus on the sound of Chan rustling through the kitchen before returning to his room. You knew where Felix was going with this.

“It's only been a little over a month.”

A tense silence settled between the two of you, neither one of you daring to say it. But you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the worry radiating off of Felix's slender body, seeping into your bones. You had essentially severed your deepest and longest lasting relationship to be with Changbin, and now, due to one stroke of chance you barely get to see him and can't even turn to the person from your second longest lasting relationship for aid.

What's going to happen to your freshly established relationship if this demand for 3racha keeps going? How will you survive not being able to see, not only your boyfriend, but one of your best friends who championed your budding connection to said boyfriend? Especially when the only deep connection you had left was someone you were desperately attempting to put space around?

These worries troubled you. Long after Felix's attempts to sedate them, long after you bid him good night and drove yourself home, and long after, you readied yourself inside your all too silent apartment and clambered into bed. You had been so happy for 3racha, so determined to support them, but now all that lingered over head was the fact that in one fleeting moment you realized you no longer had the steady foundation built by the three most precious people in your life.

---------------------------------------

Well... this chapter certainly ended up taking on a life of its own, and as I mentioned in this post, it ended up coming to mean a bit more to me than the other chapters.

Anyway, I had intended on this to be a bonus chapter, but I thought it flowed better as part of the main story. I'm getting better at placing the back stories/flashbacks.

If you go back to the first couple of chapters, you can see I was formatting the story differently. I was struggling with the build-up of the story and then found my stride in later chapters. If I allow myself to be a bit delulu for a moment, if i ever get my E. L. James or Anna Todd moment, I'd definitely go back and re-write those beginning segments.

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx

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rachalixie · 1 year

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a/n: a small bite of jisung comfort for my love @sweetestcherrywine who deserves 1000000 hugs and kisses i love you eternally

you don’t think you’re having a panic attack. you’ve at least never had one like this before, but you do know that you feel like you can’t breathe and your hands are a little tingly and you’re not even sure you know where you are.

“why are you on the floor, baby?” a heavenly voice calls out from the door and, oh, you’re in the bathroom. on the tiled floor, wrapped in a towel and leaning against the tub, specifically. your body is still dripping from the cold shower you took and you’re trembling.

jisung walks towards you, socked feet quiet on the floor, until he can crouch by your side. his hand finds your back, rubbing small circles into the center; his touch feels like fire, but it’s giving you something to focus on other than your pounding heart. his feet are wet from the puddle your hair is dripping into, making you cringe.

“your socks, they’re wet,” you choke out, the words feeling like they’re being punched out of you. it’s okay though, because jisung’s socks are getting wet and you know he hates the feeling of wet socks and he should take them off, no? that’s surely more important than the way your lungs feel like bricks in your chest.

“hey, don’t worry about that.” his voice is steady, and you’re thankful. “just focus on me, okay? breathe, slowly in and out.”

you try to follow his calm breathing, exaggerated so you can hear it, but you can’t and the frustration just makes it harder. he takes one of your cold hands in his and presses it to his own chest, encouraging you with soft words and praises.

it’s his voice more than anything that calms you down. he keeps talking for what feels like hours. the words don’t register but the sweet honeyed tone hits your brain just right, attacking your stress and your worry and your anxiety with a fervor until they admit defeat.

“i’m sorry,” you say, a reflex that you’ve never seemed to grow out of. no matter how many times he tells you he wants to help, no matter how many times you’ve been in his position calming him down, your first instinct is to apologize.

“hey, it’s okay,” he stands, stretching out his limbs from being crowched like that for a while. “let’s get you into some warm clothes, hmm? then we can cuddle. i’ll even let you be the big spoon today.”

he doesn’t ask you what happened, doesn’t push you to explain, knows that you’ll come to him when you’re ready and that you just need his presence right now.

the ache in your chest is still there, nothing can erase the bad completely, but the way he cares for you? it’s enough to ease the burden.

—

soft hours

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids hurt comfort #han jisung fluff #han jisung fic #han jisung imagines #soft

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skzstannie · 7 days

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"They found her"

SKZ -> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader

This is a part 2 to this fic, but it can be read as a stand alone as there's not much reference to the original fic.

genre: hurt/comfort, angst wc: ~3,800 words cw: kidnapping, guns and gunshot wounds, hospitals, some brief cursing

Summary: Since the incident, the guys have been extremely over protective of you. You heed their warnings, but still go out unaccompanied by security on your vacation, only to have to pay the price for your poor decisions.

A/N: Hiiii, ik I've disappeared off the face of the Earth again, but I've brought gifts back with me this time. This one's a bit heavier, but it's the long awaited part 2 to "Did you know?", so I hope you guys enjoy. I hit 500 followers since the last time I posted, so this is kind of a celebratory post as well. Thanks guys!

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

The time has come around again when JYP has given you and your members some well-earned personal vacation, and you've chosen to spend that time back at home with your family and friends.

Upon hearing about your vacation, your childhood friends started blowing up your phone, asking about when you'll be in and if you wanted to hangout. Of course, you've missed them just as much and gave them all the details of you're arrival.

The day of said plans has finally arrived, and you couldn't be more excited. You and three of your closest friends have decided to go to this cute breakfast cafe for brunch, run by all your favorite stores for some shopping, and then round your evening out with some bar hopping.

"You have got to see this!" Ha-Yoon, a friend you've known since grade school, explodes from beside you in the passenger seat, fanning herself. "Look at how hot this guy is? Think he'll give me his number if I DM him?"

"Are you being for real?" Dae cringes from the backseat, leaning forward to get a closer look at your friend's new internet crush. "He's kinda ugly."

This elicits a bickering match for the remainder of the drive, with you and your remaining friend, Soon-Bok, rolling your eyes at their silly banter.

You decided that you'd pick them all up from their homes, figuring that you'd get to spend some more time with them that way. You didn't really think about the fact that perhaps more time was synonymous with too much time. Just because you hadn't seen your friends in months, doesn't mean that they didn't see each other literally every single day.

With a clear of your throat, they stop insulting each other's fantasy love interests, both squealing when they realize you've pulled into the parking lot for the cafe.

The four of you get out of the car, you pulling your keys out of your purse to lock the doors. While walking towards the doors of the cafe, you're hit with a strange feeling- like someone's watching you.

Immediately, you whip your head around in search of anyone getting a little too nosey, but you come up with nothing. You keep your guard up though, knowing you can never be too sure.

Since the stage incident a few months back, you've been feeling a little paranoid. Understandably so, especially since the mean and threatening comments never subsided. It's gotten to the point where the staff have begun to send out a few extra security guards each time you leave the JYP building. In fact, JYP gave you all this nice little vacation in hopes it'd help some of the comments die down. To your dismay, they have not.

The guys have been incredibly protective since then, and you're actually grateful for it for once. Their constant questions about your whereabouts and wanting to tag along with you everywhere you go used to annoy you, but you'd never think to complain about it now.

Just this morning, having told them about your exciting plans for the day, they sent a barrage of texts telling you to be careful. Chan practically demanded you take a security guard with you, but for the sake of your friends' comfortability, you declined. Was it stupid? Possibly, but you're only wish for this vacation is to make things seem normal again. Having constant security around is not normal.

You placated Chan by telling him that your family knows of the places you'll be, and your family and the rest of your members all have your location at all times. He was reluctant, almost threatening to fly himself to your home just to go out on your little excursion with you, but he eventually gave way, not without first lecturing you about how important your safety is- like you didn't already know that.

~ ~ ~

"And then he pushed him down the stairs! How crazy!" Dae finishes, your eyes widening at how her story ended. She had just finished telling you all about how her boyfriend got into this big fight with a guy at the bar the other day. Apparently, the random man thought it acceptable to lay his hands on Dae, and her boyfriend did not appreciate that.

"Your boyfriend is so hot," Ha-Yoon comments, her eyes looking dreamily off into the distance.

"Excuse me?" Dae questions, raising a brow at Ha-Yoon's confession.

"I mean-"

"Ok!" you interrupt, pushing your chair back from the table you've all been sat at. The brunch was nice, catching up with your friends was much needed and the food was warm and comforting, but enough is enough, and your friends are starting to get a bit squeamish. "I need to use the restroom quickly, then we can head to the mall? Does that sound ok?"

There's a chorus of yesses, and they shoo you off into the restroom, picking up their phones to distract themselves until you get back.

You make your way to the back of the cafe, noticing how the bathrooms are secluded down a small hallway in the corner of the restaurant. Your eyes glance out the emergency exit door, and you tilt your head in confusion upon seeing a large white van sat outside it. It is not parked in a parking spot; it's just parked directly outside the door.

You quickly do your business, not wanting to keep your friends waiting for too long, and head back out to the front of the cafe. Stepping outside the restroom, a hand is immediately thrown over your mouth, a piece of foul smelling cloth pressed up against your nose. You try to scream, but this only causes you to inhale more of the chemical.

You fight, attempting to throw an elbow behind you to dislodge yourself from the person's vice like grip, but this only leads to your elbow being grabbed at a painful angle. You whimper slightly as the person pries your elbow behind you, and it almost feels as if your arm could snap if you were to move another inch. You become lightheaded, and it's hard to keep your eyes open and your mind alert. Unable to fight any longer, you give in and slump down into the arms which hold you captive.

~ ~ ~

"She's been gone awhile, I'm gonna go-" Soon-Bok is cut off by an alarm inside the cafe going off. All the customers heads perk up at the noise, their attention drifting to the employees.

The waitresses look to one another in confusion before one makes their way over to where you went for the restroom a few minutes before. The cafe is silent as the waitress disappears, looking for where the alarm would be coming from.

It's silent for another minute, before there's an audible gasp. She comes back with your purse in one hand and your cracked phone in the other.

Your three friends quickly get up from their seats, rushing over to the waitress. "Where'd you find this?" Dae asks, her eyes tearing up.

"Just outside the bathroom. I was just able to catch a glimpse of a van speeding off. Do you think someone was taken?" she asks, her eyes widening at the thought.

"I think- I think our friend was kidnapped," Ya-Hoon whispers.

~ ~ ~

"This is why I said she needed a security guard with her! This would have never happened!" Chan snaps at their management in anger, rising up from his seat in the meeting room.

Upon hearing about your kidnapping, the rest of your members were immediately brought back to the JYP building. They were all livid.

"Chan, I understand you're upset, but there's really nothing we can do now but wait-"

"Wait for what? Huh? Wait for her to just magically appear here?" Minho cuts off the head of security, his face red with anger.

"Of course the police are on the case and doing everything they can to find her. As for the eight of you, you are not to leave this building until we get all of this under control. Do you hear me? We do not need more than one missing member." JYP is stern as he speaks, leaving no room for discussion. "This meeting is dismissed. We will update you all if we hear anything."

With that, everyone else clears out of the room, leaving your eight members.

"This is awful," Felix says, his head hanging in his hands.

"No shit, Felix, why not state more of the obvious," Jisung narrows his eyes at Felix.

"We can't turn on each other," Changbin butts in, deterring them from getting into it any further. "We have to stick together and just wait this out. She's strong; she'll be ok."

"But what if she's not," Hyunjin speaks up for the first time since they got back. He's been huddled up against Jeongin since they got there, his head hung low. It's obvious he's been crying with the way his cheeks are stained with tears, his eyes red from how often he's rubbed them.

"We can't think like that," Chan says, moving over to Hyunjin. He lays a comforting arm around his shoulders, and Hyunjin immediately moves to the comfort of the leader, turning his head to hide it in Chan's chest. "They saw the van leave, it couldn't have been too long before the police were there. They'll find her, and then she'll be right back here with us."

"To never be let out of our sights again," Seungmin grumbles from the couch, wearing a similar expression to that of Felix's.

"Correct," Minho agrees, leaning back in his chair.

~ ~ ~

"Seungmin, you have to sleep. Staying up for 72 hours straight is not going to make her come back any faster," Chan lays his hand on the back of the boy's neck, slightly rocking him side to side.

"Maybe not, but I'll be the first to know when they find her," he counters, his bloodhsot eyes meeting Chan's. "You're one to talk; you haven't slept either."

Chan just sighs in response, plopping down on the couch next to him. It's quiet between the two of them, but neither are complaining about it. The peace is nice after what they've been through the past few days.

"Hyunjin hasn't stopped crying. Jeongin and Felix have had to take turns laying with him," Seungmin breaks the quiet, his soft voice travelling throughout the practice room. "Han hasn't eaten since we found out."

"I know, I've been trying to get everyone up and moving, but no one's interested."

"Chan, we're not expecting you to be the hero. We know you're in pain, too, and it's ok to act like it," it takes Chan a minute to process what Seungmin had said, but as his brain takes time, he realizes that it's been so long since he's cried, so long since he's truly let his emotions out.

With another moment passing, Chan's breath quickens and tears spring into his eyes. Without another thought, he turns his head into Seungmin's shoulder and cries. He cries for you, and how scared you must be right now, and he cries for the rest of his members, knowing how bad this is hurting them. He cries because he can't take away their pain or yours, not this time.

~ ~ ~

"Wake up." You feel a cold splash of water hit your face, and you're abruptly brought to consciousness. Your eyes open quickly in response to the cold, but you squint once you're hit with the blinding light coming from the ceiling light above you.

You try to talk, to say anything, but you quickly become aware of the duct tape placed snuggly over your mouth.

You gain some more proprioception, feeling the tightness of the rope around your wrists and how your ankles are tied to the legs of the chair you're currently sat on.

"Hey!" Your attention is brought to the large man standing in front of you, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the gun in his hand. "Eyes here. And quit squirming so much!"

You freeze at that, stilling your movements. "Now listen here," you hear another guy say from across the room. You are just noticing him for the first time, and you realize that this guy in front of you must be the brawn of the operation. "We need some money. A lot of money. So, if you want to make it out of here alive, you need to call your family and have them bring us 350 million won. No less. Think you can handle that princess?"

Tears well in your eyes at the mention of death. You can't die like this, at the hands of these awful people. But you also know you don't want to get your family involved. So, deciding this is your best bet, you sit stoically. You look straight ahead, your focus unwavering.

"The silent treatment, huh?" You can see out of your periphery the man at the desk across the room stand from his chair. He makes his way towards you, but you pay him no mind, keeping your blank stare on the wall in front of you.

"If the threat's not enough to get you to talk, maybe this will be." He's quick to take the gun from the other man's hand, and before you can even flinch he's pointed it at your lower leg and let off a shot.

You choke on your own spit when the pain registers. You close your eyes and strain your body not to react, but there's only so much you can do. The tears you were successfully keeping at bay before now slide freely down your cheeks. Your hands are in tight fists behind your back, and you feel you may pass out from the white-hot pain radiating from your calf.

Your consciousness teeters, and all words being spoken by the men sound gibberish in your state. Just as you feel you may fall completely unconscious, you're startled by a loud bang from behind you. Your eyes lazily drift to the men, and you see their gazes widen before they quickly raise their hands in surrender. You make eye contact with the one that shot you, and that's the last thing you see before your eyes shut, your body and mind going completely numb.

~ ~ ~

The practice room door is flung open, bringing Chan out of his sleepy state. "What the hell? Be a little quieter would you," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at Jisung who stands in the doorway. For the first time since the news, Chan is attempting to get some sleep. It wasn't exactly on his own accord, though. After the constant hounding from the rest of the members, and even a threat from Felix that he'd sneak melatonin into his water, he decided it would probably be best for him to try and get some shut eye; he'll be of no use to anyone if he's delirious with sleep.

"They found her."

At this, all of Chan's previous drowsiness vanishes. He sits up from the couch faster than he ever has before, his joints cracking with such a sudden movement. "What?" he asks for clarification, fearing it might be too good to be true.

"They've found her. She's on the way to the hospital right now," Jisung's contagious smile makes more sense now, Chan wearing a similar expression.

"Where are the rest of the boys?" Chan stands from the couch in a rush, quickly slipping his shoes on.

"They're in the meeting room. They just bought our flight there, we're leaving now."

~ ~ ~

"Thank you," you tell the nurse, taking the small cup of water from her hands. It's been a few hours since you woke up from your unconscious state. Upon arriving at the hospital, they immediately took you into surgery to remove the bullet from your leg. Thankfully, it missed all the important stuff, leaving your bones completely in tact. You're left with some muscle damage, but the doctor assured you with some physical therapy you'd be back to normal again.

You're now laying in bed recovering. The wound has been stapled and is wrapped tightly. You have your leg resting on a couple pillows, hopefully to help prevent the swelling. Beside you on the couch is your family, having come in immediately upon hearing the news. Some silly K-Drama is playing on the T.V, but it's enough to keep your mind occupied for now, so you're thankful for it.

Nobody confirmed it for you, but you were sure your members were well on their way. Your family told you that you had been kidnapped for a few days. You told them you only remember being awake for a few minutes, but apparently they kept knocking you out again and again.

After talking with the police, you find that they were using you for ransom, and they kept knocking you out because they didn't have everything squared away yet; whatever that means, you're not quite sure.

As if on cue, the door to your room swings open, revealing Chan and Minho. They're out of breath and sweaty, looking as if they had just run a marathon.

You're given no time for formal greetings as they both launch themselves at you, throwing their arms haphazardly around you until you feel like you're squished beneath them. Your mom makes a protesting sound, but you wave her off with a gesture of your hand. They missed you, and you missed them. They weren't hurting you or anyone else by hugging you.

"You're never leaving our sights again," Chan says, his cheek pressed against the top of your head.

"Never ever," Minho agrees, his torso laid lightly across your lap.

"I'm okay-" you start, only to be cut off by an angry looking Chan. His face pops into view at your words, eyebrows furrowed.

"You are indeed not okay! You were kidnapped, unconscious for hours on end, and then shot! How are you possibly trying to convince us that you're ok?" Minho stands up at his outburst, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm alive, and that's okay enough for me."

With your response bludgeoned into their minds, they both collapse on top of you in another hug.

You bask in their warmth a bit longer, only being interrupted with the door creaking open. Felix and Hyunjin stand there, teary and red-eyed.

"Your time's up," Hyunjin sniffles, moving out of the way of the door so the two can exit.

"We'll be back," Chan leans down to kiss your forehead while Minho grabs your hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.

They leave, and Felix and Hyunjin scurry in after them. They crowd around your bedframe, hesitant to even lay a hand on you.

"Hey," you whisper, reaching over to grab both of their hands, "I'm okay."

Hyunjin breaks down in sobs, and it only takes Felix a minute before he's right there with him. You let go of their hands and open your arms to welcome them in for a hug. Both of them hesitate again, but eventually bend down to give you the gentlest hug you've ever received.

"Does it hurt?" Felix mumbles, his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders.

"They've got me on some serious meds, so no. It probably will when I come off of them, though. I haven't tried to walk-"

"And you wont either. Not for a long while," your mom cuts in from the couch.

"Thanks for your input, Mom."

"No problem," her gaze shifts to the boys, "She's been moody since she came out of surgery. They say it's because of the meds." They both let out a huffy laugh at that, and while you're absolutely dying to argue, you're just thankful to see Hyunjin and Felix smile.

There's another knock at the door, and all your heads snap to Changbin and Jisung. "Our turn," Jisung says, gesturing for Felix and Hyunjin to get out.

"We'll see you soon," Felix says before making his way to the door.

"Love you," Hyunjin says, hugging you for a second longer.

"Love you, too," you tell him, and you watch as he gets up and walks toward the door.

Once they're gone, Jisung and Changbin come into the room.

"Chan is never letting you out of his sight again; you know that, right?" Changbin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"Uh, not just Chan, all of us," Jisung argues. "You know how when girls go out they all have to, like, go to the bathroom together? That's about to be us bestie."

"Um, ew," you grimace just thinking about all your privacy being stripped from you.

"We'll wait outside, of course," Changbin says, trying to make you feel better.

"Oh, how thoughtful," you sass back, giving them a sarcastic smile.

"But for real though, are you ok?" The atmosphere turns serious at Jisung's inquisition. "We were all worried sick about you."

"I guess I could be better, but I'm gonna be just fine. Doc said some physical therapy and I'll be good as new."

"Did you know they didn't even realize you were an idol at first?" Changbin says, piquing your interest. "They said they thought they just picked up some random person at the cafe. Apparently that's why they kept you knocked out for so long; it made things more complicated."

"I did not know that, actually. The police only gave me a quick run down, said they'd be back later for some more questioning and to give us some more information."

Another knock is heard at the door, and you look to see Seungmin and I.N standing there, the last of your boys. "Our turn now, move along," Seungmin says, tapping his foot impatiently.

"That's our cue, we'll see you later." They both lean down to give you a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.

Seungmin and I.N come in, seeming even more urgent than Chan and Minho did earlier.

They both come crashing down on top of you, all concern for the wires attached to you out the window.

Wanting to tease them, you say, "What if I was, like, seriously hurt? And now you two just came running in here like a pack of wild animals?"

"Give me a break, everybody said you were fine and that you were accepting hugs," Seungmin throws back, giving you a firm poke in the side.

You bark out a laugh at that, a smile gracing your features. "They also said that you hadn't smiled yet. So there," Seungmin nuzzles his head back into your shoulder, and you feel him breath a sigh against your neck.

"We missed you," I.N says from the other side where he's latched onto your arm.

"I missed you guys more."

"Not possible, I'd never seen any of the guys so worked up before. Chan didn't sleep the whole time you were gone, and as soon as we convinced him to, they found you," Seungmin says.

"Well, I'm here now," you comfort them, rubbing a hand on each of their backs.

"And we're never letting you go again."

~ ~ ~

Part 1

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