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magicalbuffalotransformerman · 3 years ago

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[the base lost power LMAO. the guys r fine though. their eyes (and footmuncher's (cock and) thighs) glow in the dark. anyway]

[rocketjumper is swirling energon around in a cube. she's developed a liking to a spicy flavor.]

[bonecrusher is sitting right next to rocketjumper, cradling footmuncher in his arms for good luck.]

[patchwork is outside in the freezing blizzard working his magic alongside groundrumbler.]

[nebula is in orbit. she's watching PW & GR work their magic. she spots a blue light off in the distance, and focuses in on that to see what autobot it is.]

[pov shift to kitchen gang.]

FM: this is just like the trenches. primus. so serene in sheer darkness.

BC: i hope one of the fuses hadn't went. rockie, how long did you say your internal heating system could last for?

RJ: it's an emergency system, i think. three day battery at full charge. or did you mean the things patchie surgically bestowed upon me?

BC: yeah, the things patchwork installed into you. how long do those go for?

RJ: about two weeks at a time. runs on my energy though, so if i run out i'm gonna need an e.s.s. revive.

BC: mmm.

FM: should get a better fuel source. don't wanna die cuz u wanna keep warm.

RJ: that's what i told patchie. he said he didn't have any better models in storage, and he also said he didn't want me 'butt-chugging oil to keep warm' with the older ones. which... not a pleasant image.

BC: ...yeah, no, that sounds unsafe.

FM: as unsafe as eating organs?

BC: a little less sanitary, i think. but yeah.

RJ: wat? how is eating organs more sanitary than butt chugging fossil fuels?

BC: fossil fuels smell horrible. guts don't smell earthy. also, guts feel nice.

FM: i know one organ that definitely feels nice.

RJ, BC, FM: [collective giggling]

= [pov shift: the engineering team.] =

GR: why is this so intricate in the first place, patch?

PW: i don't like it when bots fuck with my power. if someone - primus forbid a patient - fucks with my power, i'm putting them on my table for emergency surgery.

GR: hah. nice. i'm the same way with my privacy bubble. hey, speaking of which, am i still asexual if i wanna interface?

PW: i... need to do more research on that. pass a fuse?

GR: oh, y-

N: hey, ground team, there's a blue light heading towards the base. the bot seems relatively tall, could be a maz model vehicle mode.

GR: now, who do we know that has a maz variant for a vehicle mode?

N: very funny, rumbles. i'll keep watching the light, you just work on the power generator. over.

PW: thank you for the report, nebula. over 'n' out.

GR: ...which wrench should i use on the rings?

PW: i believe the... the clamp wrench should be good for the rings. if you can get a good angle and enough leverage on each nut, at least.

GR: alright. let's see... [clamp.]

= [pov switch: the kitchen gang.] =

[bonecrusher left to go investigate a noise. he'll be back soon.]

RJ: -it... glows in the dark when you're horny.

FM: hegehee,,, yeah.

RJ: you think it'll glow in my mouth?

FM: probably? you wanna test that hypothesis right now?

RJ: of course i do. just wanna check on nebula real quick, see how she's doing.

FM: alright.

[rocketjumper tunes into the comms.]

RJ: rocketjumper to nebula, how's it going up there?

N: good! there's an autobot coming close to the base and they seem friendly. kinda looks like cake.

RJ: oh, that's nice. thanks for letting me know, nebbs.

N: you're welcome. gonna keep watch on the engineers, see you soon.

RJ: see you soon.~ [she tunes out of the comms.]

FM: so? what did she say?

RJ: autobot incomin'. she says it might be cake.

FM: [very quick gasp] two rocketjumpers !!

RJ: [deep giggle.] anyway, hypothesis time. [she flips footmuncher upside down, gulping his tentacle-y cock down like it's nothin'.]

FM: [very soft moan...] oh, hey, it does glow in your mouth! that's pretty sweet.

RJ: gghuh du nnoe. [she flips footmuncher around again.] (good to know.)

[bonecrusher appears from the hallway, taking his seat back.]

BC: heyy, fellas. nice glow-in-the-dark cock, munchbutt.

FM: thank you,,,

[rocketjumper hands footmuncher to bonecrusher.]

RJ: any idea what the noise was?

BC: meh. looked like a pipe bursted, so i ripped it out and fixed it.

RJ: huh. wonder why it broke... cool to know. speaking of:

FM: cake's coming to visitttt

BC: oh, amazing! she'll be able to see katyusha today, i think, if she's awake.

FM: THREEROCKETJUMPERRRSSSSSSSSSS

RJ: [impotent giggles]!!!

BC: primus, dude, what is your obsession with rocketjumper and her lookalikes?

FM: i want to be sandwiched inbetween all three of them at the same time.

BC: ...me too.

= [pov switch: the engineering team] =

GR: -STUPID FUCKING GENERATOR!! FUCK! OWWW!!!

PW: i TOLD you not to touch the fuses already in the generator, groundrumbler!

GR: GRGGHRHGHGHHGRGHHGHGHGRGRGRGHR-

PW: [sigh]. just stick your hand in the snow, it'll be fine.

GR: ow... fuck. sorry. now what?

PW: should just be... closing up the generator and letting it work its magic.

GR: ...seems easy enough.

[slow stomping coming closer from off in the distance]

PW: huh. i think that's the autobot nebula was talking about.

GR: didn't someone say her name was cake? are you having plot blocks?

PW: ...oh yeah, cake. i remember hearing her talk one day while i was workin' on sketching tricky down in my little work-note-book.

GR: yeah, there you go. you think she has any beef?

PW: should be fine.

GR: mmm. gen's fixed. let's head back inside before our joints freeze solid.

PW: really? i was starting to get used to the snow! [/s]

GR: move it, asshat.

[patchwork giggles to himself, and climbs down from the roof, allowing groundrumbler to do so himself. as he does, patchwork catches him in his arms, walking into the base with groundrumbler in tow.]

[Cake catches up and gets her hand under the door before it has a chance to close.]

PW: greetings, gentlemen. rocketjumper.

RJ: 'ello there, doc.

[Cake opens the door -- though damaging its systems in the process - whoops --- and allows herself inside.]

Cake, a little winded: Primus. Hi. Heard there was someone new over here. Wanted to get here as soon as I could. How's it going?

RJ: it's uhhhhh... good. you okay there?

Cake: Me? Totally. Nothing happened.

FM: ...cake, why are you bleeding?

Cake: Someone got grumpy. That's all. Okbye [She rushes into Patchwork's office.]

PW: ...[looks over to bonecrusher]

BC: [gaze switching between patchwork and the hallway]

RJ: ...uhm. patch, you should... you should go check on her, i think.

GR, to himself: why is everything going wrong today?

[patchwork drops groundrumbler onto the floor, running into his office and locking the door.]

GR: [sigh]. [he gets onto his feet.] well. no one tell katyusha, and everything will be fine.

FM: why aren't you at least suspicious??

GR: too cold to be suspicious. i need a nap. enjoy worrying for cake, lads. [he heads down to his room.]

RJ: ...

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] did you get all that?

N: i'm surveying the continent for hostiles as we speak.

BC: thank you nebula. if the hostile's a popular character, alert me. if otherwise-

N: blast them into shittereens?

BC: you got it. bonecrusher out. [he tunes out of the comms.] now, uhm... anyone for a movie?

FM: i think i wanna go check on rumbles. he's not that uncaring, right?

BC: ...mmm... no, i don't assume so. go check on him.

[footmuncher hops out of bonecrusher's arms, trotting down the hallway.]

RJ: so... today's weird. why's...

BC: y'know what i think that it's just the paranoia sneaking in. how do you suppose we should get our minds off it?

RJ: you suggested a movie. any good ones in mind?

BC, getting out of his seat: i'm quite curious about there will be blood. see you in bed. [he rolls down the hallway.]

RJ: mhm... [she gets out of her seat as well, grabbing some snacks from the fridge and joining bonecrusher.]

================================================ ================-[ some time later. ]-================= ================================================

[bonecrusher is falling asleep in rocketjumper's already unconscious arms. nebula sends a ping through the comms, and bonecrusher answers.]

BC: ...yes?

N: you have a problem.

BC: what's their name?

N: (TFP!)megatron.

BC, immediately filled with rage: [growl.] checking the front door. [he tunes out of the comms. he shakes his wife.]

RJ: ...mmgh.. what?

BC: get katyusha in with patchwork and cake. someone's at the door and i think he's angry.

RJ: affirmative. [she rolls out of the bed, heading right out of the bedroom door.]

[bonecrusher heads left, knocking on patchwork's office door.]

[the door creaks open.] PW: hey, bonecru-

BC: rocketjumper and katyusha are coming in. don't answer the door for anyone else.

PW: why?

BC, raising his eyebrows: why else?

PW: ...megs. right. you can trust me.

[bonecrusher nods, heading to the bunker door.]

BC: ...wait.

[bonecrusher rolls to marrowbomber's room, knocking on the door. the door opens.]

MB: whaddaya need?

BC: megs is here. need you to prep incase he gets violent.

MB: mmm. i got your back.

BC: good.

[bonecrusher rolls once again to the bunker door. marrowbomber closes his bedroom door.]

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] where is he?

N: 20 meters from the front door.

BC: preparing to attack?

N: negative.

BC: thank you. prepare to blast him incase he gets aggressive.

N: you got it. nebs out.

[bonecrusher rubs his hands, hopping up and down in place, psyching himself up to meet megatron. in the hallway, patchwork is letting katyusha and rocketjumper into his office, and once he closes the door, he can be heard barricading it.]

BC: ...alright. megatron awaits.

[the bunker door opens almost aggravatingly slowly, revealing the sharp set of toes that've likely stomped many a helm, balled-up fists filled with bloodlust, and the mountainous, spiky pauldrons of everyone's favorite space meth addict, tfp!megatron.] (which... i'm not sure whether to type his dialogue in autobot or decepticon stylized text... well, he's pretty important. he gets autobot text for now.)

TFP!Megatron: Ahh, the Claw of ('07!)Megatron. How's the cannibalism situation going, my friend?

BC: fairly well. how's the dark energon addiction?

TFP!Megtron: I regret to inform you I'm not capable of shaking it yet. In the future, I'm sure I can get a lowly bot to assist me in such a matter, but for today, I have... different... intentions.

BC: [his mining claw twitches.] mmm. shall we discuss them in the kitchen?

TFP!Megatron: If you so wish.

[Megatron scans the environment as he enters Bonecrusher's base of operations. It all seems... very... what's the word? Unnatural. Megs hadn't seen any other bases stylized in such a human manner, especially not from a Decepticon who despises humans such as Bonecrusher does. For starters, the 'kitchen'... what is the purpose of the monument in the center? And the mettalic, cold box in the far corner? His optics slide over to the "living" "room" as he and his thunderous feet venture over to the kitchen. A monitor, coal in color, reflective in nature, and an unusually soft and long throne. The throne has an unusual pattern adorned upon the back. To add to that, no hand-rails like Optimus' hideout in Nevada. Megatron raises an eyebrow, and he feels Bonecrusher's own optics analyzing his every move. He's out of his element within this building.]

[bonecrusher knows this, and he's comforted by the thought. if only a little bit.]

[Megatron takes his place upon an unusually-shaped seat that looks like something he would place a hapless victim upon for torturing.] (in this house we adore extending sentences as much as possible)

BC: [he takes a seat across from megatron.] so, then. what're you visiting for, megatron?

TFP!Megatron: Oh, nothing special... I simply had a falling out with one of your co-horts and wished to take it up with you. Tell me, Bonecrusher, has your conjunx ever considered betrayal?

BC: [tch. no one's told megatron about rocketjumper's lookalikes yet, hmm? great. just wonderful. welp. here we go.] megatron, my conjunx -- my wife. -- would never consider betrayal unless it were forced upon her. she is loyal to the decepticon cause, and she always has been. there is nothing, at all, that can dissuade her from turning to another side.

TFP!Megatron: [He quietly snarls. Bonecrusher's lying? To his face? What incompetence.] Then why, may I ask, have I seen her adorning an Autobot insignia upon her carapace?

BC: [he attempts to lead megatron on to the idea of there being more than one rocketjumper.] tell me, megatron... was she white in color?

TFP!Megatron: [He hadn't considered that. He simply saw what looked to be betrayal, and fired upon her. How outrageous for Bonecrusher to assume that he could be wrong! Megatron asserts himself, launching out of his chair.] White in...? What sort of question is that?! The color of one's armor does not matter if they are on the enemy team, Bonecrusher, surely you must know this! How long have you been out of battle for?! That must be messing with your processor to assume that such details are worth thinking of!

BC: [bonecrusher ALMOST loses his temper as well. megatron... oh the space meth must've fucked with his own processor.] megatron, calm yourself. such details are of course important, especially if you fire upon the wrong rocketjumper. let me explain it to you in terms that you can actually understand.

[bonecrusher's mining claw forces megatron back down into his seat, as he climbs onto the kitchen island, stomps across it, and gets in megatron's face. stabbing three fingers into his cheek for good measure.]

TFP!Megatron: GET Y-

BC: [fuck it.] YOU WILL COOL YOUR JETS, MEGATRON OF KAON, ELSE YOU WILL BECOME MY NEXT MEAL. YOU WILL NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE AGAIN WITHIN THE WALLS OF MY BASE. YOU WILL CEASE TO KEEP UP YOUR REPUTATION, ELSE YOU WILL BE OFFLINED WITHIN THE SECOND. DO YOU COMPLY?! [his voice echoes across antarctica, let alone his own base.]

TFP!Megatron: [...Megatron hadn't had the fear of Primus stricken into him from anyone, aside from Bumblebee and his first gladitorial duel, such like Bonecrusher was able to. He doesn't understand how he'd done it... and yet, he feels as if he must comply. He ceases his resistance, adjusting in his seat accordingly. ...Also, his face hurts now.] Yes. I apologize. It was foolish of me to assume such incompetence of you, Bonecrusher. Now, ahem... explain to me why I'm wrong in attacking an enemy, if you so please.

BC: [...huh... uhm. he wasn't confident that that would work. well. good. alright. he takes a seat on the kitchen island.] good. good. i'm assuming here that the other megatrons hadn't bothered to explain to you how lookalikes work. i'm sure you must know how they work from the insecticons, as well as skyquake and dreadwing, correct?

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] Correct.

BC: alright. are you aware that my wife, rocketjumper, also has lookalikes?

TFP!Megatron: [He realizes his mistake. Disappointment washes over his frame, as he holds his head in his hands. After a moment, he raises his helm up to face Bonecrusher again.] ...It had not occured to me, no.

BC: [there we go.] you have shot such a lookalike. her name is cake, if you hadn't known that either. i say again, rocketjumper has not and will not -- EVER -- betray the decepticon cause. cake has never had a taste of the cause. there exist two other lookalikes, as well. would you like to hear the details of all three, or would you like to exit my base and never enter again?

TFP!Megatron: I would like to hear of the details of these lookalikes.

BC: as you wish. [he whips out a clipboard, with some sheets of paper on it.] for the first lookalike, cake. she is an amicable, polite femme, equipped with ion blasters, similar to those of your nemesis optimus prime, as well as armblades near-identical to my own wife. her armor comes in white camouflage paint, ice blue eyes, and cubic, blocky shaping. i feel as if she doesn't wish to meet with you, however, due to your fire-on-sight policy.

[bonecrusher flips the first paper.]

BC: the second lookalike is a femme more similar to rocketjumper than that of cake: for the longest time, we've known her as 'autobot rocketjumper' due to her being my own wife, but twisted and molded into a weapon by that of my own nemesis, who also happens to be an optimus prime. we've donned her with the new name of 'katyusha', however, and we hope you call her katyusha as well. now, her armor is a shade away from my wife, and it is -- i kid you not -- riddled with scars, bruises, and injuries beyond reason. if she was an astronomical object, she'd be an asteroid with all of the marks on her frame. it's horrifying how horrible her treatment was, i believe.

[he flips the second paper.]

TFP!Megatron: How does Katyusha think of me, do you think, Bonecrusher?

BC: not well. i've warned her of your reputation. she doesn't like you.

TFP!Megatron: ah. :(

BC: now for the third lookalike... which might as well be a new character with the pain she's been through so far. we've not adorned her with a nickname yet, but right now we're calling her abomination in search for something less mean. this version of rocketjumper -- which i want to say, she and katyusha are alternative universe versions of rocketjumper. sorry for the confusion. -- was on an energon run that went astronomically horrible for her. i'm... not going to discuss what she had to do to survive the bombing that she underwent. just know that she's bulkier than the other two lookalikes, as well as my wife.

TFP!Megatron: [He notices that Bonecrusher's been calling Rocketjumper a different term... a 'wife'. What is that...?] Heh... I have an offtopic detail I'd like to bring up.

BC: go ahead.

TFP!Megatron: Why are you calling Rocketjumper your... 'wife'?

BC: well, i've got more than one conjunx.

TFP!Megatron, perplexed: what.

BC: i have two - working on a third - conjunxes. rocketjumper is my first and my wife, footmuncher is my second as well as my husband, and i've noticed that bunkerbuster seem to be... a bit attracted to me beyond the usual sexual feelings. i think i might talk to him after tonight.

TFP!Megatron: ...Okay. Mmm. I believe I need to recharge. [He gets out of his seat, approaching the bunker door.] Bonecrusher, I would like to ask if you'd let me in another time in the future, possibly to meet these lookalikes.

BC: just as long as your promise not to raise your voice.

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] I promise.

BC: [he nods in return.] get out of my base.

[Megatron does so, transforming and flying off into the distance.]

[the bunker door closes automatically.]

[bonecrusher reaches for a drink from the energon cupboard, wondering how he managed to make megatron behave. maybe he dug his claws too deep. he giggles to himself, sipping a cube of strawberry flavored energon.]

N: ...huh.

[bonecrusher jumps off of the kitchen island, scrambling to get off of the floor.]

BC: jesus christ, nebula, at least warn me before you hop in.

N: [giggle.] sorry, bonecrusher. how the hell'd you calm megatron down like that?

BC: ...i blame plot magic.

[bonecrusher and nebula share a laugh.]

BC: go tell patchwork and everyone else that we're good. i'm gonna clean myself off.

N: oh, you- whoops! sorry about your energon, boss.

BC: don't worry about it... and don't call me boss. feels uncomfy, idk.

N: alright. have a good time, bonecrusher. i'm going to... take a nap on the couch, i believe.

BC: sweet dreams, nebula.

N: and you have a nice shower.

[bonecrusher heads down to the bathroom. nebula knocks on patchwork's office door to let him know that everything's fine, then going off to the couch to take a nap.]

#okay so basically #magicalNSFW #we got mild dicksuckery in this one !!!!#and handburning #and two-three rocketjumpers(?)#anyways character time #bonejumper #footmuncher #groundrumbler #patchwork #nebula #autobot cake #autobot!rocketjumper #marrowbomber #oh and uh. y'know.#tfp!megatron #space meth guy. yk. :)

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