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fanfic-wonderland · 4 months

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Not Just Friends {Coriolanus Snow} - Part 2

Synopsis: After avoiding him for some time, you suspect that Coryo's feelings towards you have vanished. However, after a turn of life-threatening events, you finally decide to talk to him.

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Read part one here.

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Things between the both of you change drastically after you last spoke the night at the Winter’s Ball. Coryo doesn't want to admit that he might’ve ruined your friendship, but he cannot help feeling responsible because you've been avoiding him. Even though you try to act normal, he can tell that something’s off. Every time he approaches you at the Academy you tense up, you cut your conversations short by saying you have to leave, and you haven't stopped by his house in nearly a month when the problem used to be keeping you out of it. Part of him resents Tigris for convincing him to tell you the truth; the other part resents himself for listening to her. He can tell that she feels bad once she notices how you both are drifting apart, but he cannot find it in him to look past it. At least not yet.

The approach of the 10th Hunger Games helps as a distraction for Coryo. He’s chosen as one of the District 12 mentors, much to his dislike, but he’ll take it as an opportunity to prove himself as a top student again. You’re chosen to mentor one of the District 9 tributes alongside Gaius Breen, which means that he probably won’t have the opportunity to interact with you as much. The thought pains him but he tries to focus on winning the prize, instead, and when he meets his tribute, Lucy Gray Baird, he’s certain that he has a high chance of doing so. He cannot let any distractions get in the way of his victory.

So, he tries his best to appeal to the entirety of Panem, and if that means jumping into a monkey enclosure at the Capital Zoo with all of the tributes in it, then he’ll do it.

***

You’ve been meaning to talk to Coryo for the longest time.

After your conversation at the Winter’s Ball, you admit that you’ve felt nervous and you’ve forgotten how to act around him, even if It’s only been a few weeks. You’re pretty sure that he’s noticed your odd behavior already but has said nothing about it. You feel guilty avoiding him, but his words had a bigger impact on you than you thought. You think about that night every single day—him showing up even when he didn't want to, the both of you dancing together, the way he defended you against Felix, his “confession” under Panem’s night sky… it all makes your heart flutter in a way you’ve never felt before.

You’ve never felt like that toward Coryo— or maybe you’ve just never noticed.

When you’re both chosen as mentors for the 10th Hunger Games, things take a downfall. It’s like you barely know each other, both in the same room but focused on different things and different people. And when you try to get his attention on multiple occasions, you’re met with nothing. He does not look at you anymore.

Now that you think about it, he used to always look at you, and now that he doesn’t, something feels… wrong.

Your mind drifts to him as you’re sitting in the classroom, watching the tributes being exhibited at the Capital Zoo —Sheaf, your tribute, is obviously among them. You’re not interested in watching a group of people being treated like animals for entertainment and you cannot stop wondering why Coryo hasn’t shown up to class yet. It’s not like him to miss class, seeing how he always likes to be one step ahead of everyone else, so it must be something urgent if he’s not showing up. You start getting worried but you try your best not to show it. Anyway, It’s not like anyone would care, seeing how they’re all so invested in what’s happening on the screen.

All of a sudden, a few people in the room gasp in unison. When you snap out of your thoughts, you realize that there is someone else in that cage and your heart leaps. “What is he doing?” Gaius questions next to you.

“He’s trying to get himself killed,” Someone else mutters from the back of the room.

But you keep your attention on Coryo. To you, he’s never looked more beautiful, more powerful. You’re not exactly sure how he did it, and yes, the fact that he managed to sneak in with the tributes is insane but you are more impressed by how far he can go to win. No wonder you’ve always admired him so much.

While Coryo and Lucy Gray Baird are answering questions from Lucky Flickerman, you notice how he holds her hand and how he looks down at her while she speaks into the microphone, and something stirs in you. You don’t know what it is but it makes you sick to your stomach and you have to look away from the screen for a moment. “Quite the boyfriend you have there, (Y/L/N),” You hear Arachne say from her spot. You don’t turn to look at her but you’re certain that she’s smirking. “At least Felix had the decency to go behind your back.”

A few people snicker while some turn to look at you with amused looks on their faces. You try, you really do, to dismiss her words, but you don’t feel like taking any of her shit anymore. So you stand up and walk toward her, right at the other side of the room, and then you pull at her hair. You try to connect your knuckles to any inch of her face after she screams and tries to push you away, but you do not let go of her. You don’t let go of her even when people try to pull you away, and when you finally do you manage to pull out a clump of her hair to keep as a trophy. “You bitch!” She shouts at you while you hold up her hair triumphantly in your hand as two other students drag you as far away from her as possible.

Mr. Highbottom orders the students who are holding you to take you outside until you’ve come back to your senses. You most likely ruined your chance at being a mentor but at the moment you don’t care. All you can think about is his hand touching hers.

They take you to the hallway and only then do you realize that It’s Gaius and Sejanus Plinth who had held you back. Gaius quickly goes back into the room but Sejanus stays for a bit longer. “You shouldn’t let her get to you.”

“I know that,” You snap. He looks a bit taken aback by your tone and you sigh. “Sorry. I just… I hate her. So much. And I hate the fact that now I look like even more of an idiot in front of everyone else. This just all makes me so mad.”

He observes you for a moment. “Are you sure that you’re not mad about something else?”

“About what?”

“Well,” Sejanus says. “Coryo did seem to be getting well acquainted with his tribute…”

You open your mouth to protest but close it once you realize that you have no way of defending yourself. Maybe he’s right. Maybe Arachne is not the main issue here. Maybe It’s the way that Coryo was looking at Lucy, or holding her hand, or that he was willing to jump into a cage to be by her side.

Maybe… most certainly.

***

A few days later, the mentors and their tributes all enter the arena for a tour. Coryo tries to focus strictly on his surroundings but he finds himself glancing at you from time to time. He had heard about your and Arachne’s fight through Clemensia Dovecote, who told him right after he came back to the Academy. He hasn’t had the chance to talk to you about it but he’s glad that at least Highbottom had some bit of sense left in him to let you stay in the mentor program. There is no doubt in his mind that Arachne had initiated it somehow.

You walk several feet beside him and he fights the urge to look at you again, but then Lucy’s arm links with his and he’s brought back to reality. “You’re awfully distracted today,” She points out, her eyes looking forward.

Coryo stiffens. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were so attentive and focused when we first met and now you just… I don’t know, you feel far away.” Lucy explains.

He remains quiet. At the same time, his eyes fail to stray from you as they find your figure yet again. You’re walking alongside your tribute and talking to her while you point at certain spots in the arena. From what he’s seen, you seem to get along with your tribute fairly well. He’s seen you bring sandwiches to her a few times at the enclosure and the tribute, while she is quiet with other people, seems to find it easy to open up to you. He didn’t doubt for a second that she would. You’re very likable when you want to be.

“Is it because of that mentor you’re always staring at?”

Coryo still does not give Lucy an answer but his face turns to finally face her. She is already staring at him with a knowing smile. “I knew it,” She says. “Let’s face it: you’re here putting on a show with me but you’re thinking about her. It’s okay, you know. I’ve been in love before and I’ve suffered because of it; I know what It’s like.”

In love. Coryo has never thought himself to be “in love” with you. His feelings are strong, yes, but he has never given them a name, let alone a name like love. It’s a dangerous word to be throwing around like that. “Is there any history between the two of you?” Lucy asks.

Coryo knows there’s no use in ignoring her, so he says, “No. We’re just friends.”

Lucy does not look convinced. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Listen, we’re not here to talk about me,” He says. “Nor her. I want you to stay focused on what really matters.”

Lucy shrugs. “Just trying to get to know my mentor,” He rolls his eyes. “But, just so you know, she’s also been staring at you. A lot.”

His breath hitches before he can stop himself and he knows that Lucy notices. She chuckles, glad that she at least got a reaction out of him, but again he stays silent. And when he does go to say something, there’s an explosion. Both of them are thrown back by the impact, his back hits the ground and he lies there for a few seconds, unable to process what just happened.

When he opens his eyes once again his vision is a cloudy gray. He hears screaming and shouting all around him while a few more bombs go off, but he seems to be frozen on the spot. He sees Lucy standing up and urging him to stand up as well, but he can barely hear her. She finally grabs his arm and helps him lift himself. “We have to run,” She says.

Coryo nods and they start heading toward the direction they came from, when all of a sudden he remembers that you’re also somewhere in the room and that you might be hurt, and he stops. Lucy looks back at him with wide eyes. “You go,” He tells her. “I need to find someone first.”

She immediately knows who he’s talking about, so she nods and tells him, “You come back alive, alright?”

He nods back and then she runs out of his sight.

Coryo begins to blindly run through the smoke, passing by and almost running into his classmates and the other tributes, who are all either running around and screaming in panic or lying motionless on the ground. None of them are you and it makes him all the more nervous.

When he finally finds you, you're crouched next to a girl. It takes him a moment to recognize her as your tribute while she’s lying there, covered in debris and blood. You’re practically screaming at her to get up but Coryo thinks she’s already long gone, so he grabs you and tries to pull you away from her. “(Y/N),” he calls your name as you struggle to get out of his grip. He grabs your face so you can look at him. “We have to go—” Another bomb goes off in the distance. “Now!”

You’re still in a state of shock but you try to listen to his words and you stand up with his help. He’s still holding you when the both of you run towards the exit. Another bomb goes off behind you, this time close enough to send you both flying off. Your ears are ringing as you lie there on the ground, the impact making you land on your side, hard. You wince in pain and you try to sit up but it proves to be a challenge. You might’ve dislocated your shoulder, you’re not completely sure, but the pain makes it obvious.

No more explosions go out, and everyone who is not dead seems to have already evacuated the place. You turn to Coryo. His eyes are closed, a line of blood falling down the side of his face. “Coryo?” you try to shake him awake but he remains unresponsive. “Coryo!” You suddenly feel nauseous. He can’t be… no, not him. No no no no no no no no no no…

You lean down to press your ear against his chest and you breathe out a sigh of relief when you realize he’s still breathing. He’s alive, You think as you stay there, your head against his chest while you listen to his soothing heartbeat. You hear the faint sound of Peacekeepers coming back and shouting something and a few tears run down your face. He’s going to make it.

***

The first thing you do after you’re checked out from the hospital is visit Coriolanus Snow.

You know he was released earlier and you haven’t had the chance to talk to him. To thank him for saving your life. For coming back to you when he could’ve just run outside and waited until the Peacekeepers found your corpse. But he didn’t.

You knock on the door and are immediately by Tigris, who beams once she sees It’s you. “(Y/N)!” she pulls you in for an embrace but is careful with the sling that you’ll have to wear for a while. “Oh, (Y/N), I’m so glad to see you, and I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you after that incident at the arena.”

“I know. I’m glad to see you, too,” Tigris’ eyes are watery when you pull away. “It’s been a while, huh?”

“Yes, it has,” She says in a soft voice. “I assume you’re here to see Coryo?” You nod and her grin broadens. “He’s in his room. You can go on ahead.”

You thank Tirgris as she moves aside to let you in. You say your greetings to his grandmother, who is listening to her little radio in the living room, and quickly make your way to Coryo’s bedroom door. You knock softly a few times. It’s silent for a moment, and then you hear the click of the door unlocking and then it opens. Coryo stands there —without a shirt— and you have to force your eyes to stay on his face. My God. “(Y/N),”

“Hi,” You gulp. For some reason, your mouth is watering. “Can we talk?”

Coryo stares at you briefly. “Yeah. Just give me a second.”

You nod and he closes the door. A few minutes later, he opens it again, and this time he’s wearing a loose grey shirt over his white shorts. “Come in,” he says, and so you do.

You take a seat on his bed, taking in the familiar walls. It feels like it's been so long since you’ve last been here and you’ve missed it. More than you thought.

He goes to sit next to you and you scoot over. His eyes go down to your arm. “Is it hurting?”

You shrug. “A little. It used to feel worse. Having to wear this all the time is uncomfortable, though.”

Coryo gives you a toothless smile. “I can imagine.”

You smile back at him. A short silence follows but, contrary to what you were expecting, it feels comfortable. You cannot help but get lost in his eyes. “Coryo,” you say before you can forget why you’re here in the first place. “How will I ever be able to thank you for coming back for me?”

He shakes his head. “I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me—”

“But I didn’t,” You say. “I was in shock by Sheaf dying. I couldn’t stomach the fact that she was gone, just like that. Someone whom I had known for a few days, but I had so much hope for. I was so hopeful that she would win, and then she died before the games even began. It was just…”

Coryo doesn’t wait for you to finish. “She’s in a better place now,” He tells you while brushing a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “She’s not hurting anymore.”

You nod because you truly want to believe him. You shake the awful memories of the bombing out of your head and focus on him, instead. Your brain still cannot seem to fathom the idea of you being here with him. “I missed you,” you blurt out.

He smiles at you. “Did you?”

“Yes,” You’re pretty sure you’re blushing, with the way he’s looking at you and how his face is so close. “A lot.”

“Does that mean we can go back to the way we were?” He asks.

You shake your head. “I don’t want it to be like that anymore.”

A flash of hurt crosses his face, and that’s the last thing you see before you lean in to kiss him. It’s very short because you pull away before he has a chance to respond. That is not what you had in mind when you came into his house, but something took over you as soon as you stepped into his room. Maybe it was the image of him shirtless that made you lose your focus too much. You blink a few times at him and wait for a reaction. It’s hard to read what he’s thinking just by the look on his face, and you begin to think that maybe you shouldn’t have done that.

And then he leans in and his lips are back on yours, and you’re the one who’s frozen now. Your heart feels like It’s about to leap out of your chest and you think you might collapse at any second. Regardless, you respond once you come back to your senses. Coryo deepens the kiss, coaxing your tongue with his as he pulls you closer. You take a handful of his curls and he lets out a low groan against your mouth; It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

He pulls you into his lap and your body is pressed against his, but a sharp pain shoots through your arm from the sudden movement. You wince in pain and, although It’s nothing you can’t handle, he immediately looks worried. “Sorry,” he scans your face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You assure him while you run your fingers along his cheek. “Really.”

Coryo leans his face down to plant a fluttery kiss on your shoulder, and then his lips move along until they reach your neck, jawline, and cheek, and finally, they reconnect with yours. Once he’s sure that you’re good, he kisses you like he’s desperate to take all of you in, and it makes your head spin. It’s hard to resist him when you’ve already started to lose yourself in him, in the taste of his lips, in his scent, and the warmth of his touch. His hands go down to your lower back, sneaking in under your shirt. The feeling of his hands against your bare skin sends shivers down your spine and you know he’d probably go further if it wasn’t for the knock on the door. You quickly get off him and take your seat back on his bed, both of you trying to look like you weren’t just devouring each other a few seconds ago. “Come in,” he says.

The door opens and Tigris peeks her head in. “Dinner’s ready. (Y/N), Would you like to join us?”

“Oh, uh,” you hesitate. “I’m not sure honestly, I think I have to get going soon. My parents are expecting me.”

“Of course,” She says. “But if you change your mind you’re more than welcome to stay.”

You thank her and she closes the door. Coryo stands up first and then offers you his hand to help you up. Once you’re out of the bed he pulls you close to him and holds your face, kissing you again. You smile against his lips. “Stay for dinner,” He tells you. “Please?”

You almost melt at the softness of his voice. “I already told you,” you giggle as he buries his face in your neck. “My parents are expecting me.”

“They’ll be fine. They know you’re with me, don’t they?” He says. “And if anything happens, I’ll talk to them for you.”

You grin. How can you ever say no to him?

278 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 9 months

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In the mood for...

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1. ITMF: Just finished ShanaStoryteller's "By Any Other Name" where resurrected WWX pretends to be a woman, and it's put me in the mood for fic where he is actually resurrected as a woman but, here's the key: he's hamstrung by the extremely patriarchal society he's in. The few fic I've read that have him in a woman's body usually hand wave over that but I'd love to read a fic that doesn't. Anything like that out there??? @kimboo-york

To Deserve So Much More by renysen (locked to archive) (T, 20k, wangxian, summoned by f!oc, getting together, Mojo’s post) has WWX resurrected by the youngest daughter of a non-cultivating family and deals with several issues of him being a woman as a result.

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2. do you know any fics that explore what happens if yzy lives past the wen attack on lp? wwx blamed himself enough without her active vitriol so i'd love to read how her survival would impact the yunmeng trio (esp wwx) and/or the war. thank you!

💖 Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing) has YZY surviving the fall of LP & has stuff about how her leadership is different from JC

Yearning for Miles by Murahi (M, 378k, WangXian, LQR/SiSi, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, Mutual Pining, seeing the future) has YZY surviving IIRC (it's been a while since I read it & I bailed partway through so idk how it goes) & the tags mention YZY redemption

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3. hi ! in the mood for fics (canon) that feature wangxian and lan sizhui ! it doesn’t need to be about them as parents, although it definitely can, but just having them (especially lwj) act parental or acknowledged as parents or exist as a family unit would be much appreciated, kind of like “Crack me open, pour you out” by tenillypo. basically any parental canon wangxian (even just featured) would be amazing thank you !! @willesnelson

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (WordsWritInStarlight) (G, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, inquiry, Music, Angst, Fluff, Found Family, podfic available)

kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst) it's set in canon times however its def an AU storyline but you get a lot of family feels

Finding Balance Series by Zombubble (G/T, 117k, WangXian, Character Study, Canon Compliant, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Death, Grief, But only a little, Nightmare, Canon-Typical Violence, within a nightmare, injuries, Underage Drinking, Light Angst, Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, but not too bad, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, Self-Reflection, Conflict Resolution, Internal Conflict, lots of talking, Lots of Thinking, LSZ-centric, Soft LQR, Sort Of, Collective Bargaining, LSZ accidentally incites a mini off-screen rebellion, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, mild panic attack) not sure if its quite what #3 is asking (most recent itmf post) but there's a post-canon sizhui-centric series about sizhui coming to terms with remembering he's a wen and stuff, and the last two in the series (esp the last one) have parental wangxian helping him work through things

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4. Itmf wwx n friends as a crazy crack funny af potty mouthed wholesome group!! Modern au. Them being crack heads in a nut. Like, doing stuff like sneaking out, putting skates and running at night, sitting in shopping trolly and pushing it ahead, Fighting in Instagram comments section. Just wwx an friends. Idm relationships.

He lo I'm for #4 itmf. fic is really good, but not what I was aiming for, cuz yeah the plot was chef's kiss, but didn't had much of wy n frnds, lemme clear: wy n frnds shenanigans, doing stupid things, what the fuk moments. This time doesn't matter if it's canon, modern or alternate Universe. Thankyou

The Fifth Type of Non-Contact Force by Caixx (Not Rated, 83k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Actually Somewhat Canon, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Graphic Smut) lots of shenanigans here

Carefully Orchestrated Plans (no strings attached) by Maledictius (T, 101k, WangXian, Modern AU, Chatting & Messaging, Orchestra, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gossip)

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5. ITMF!! What’s a wangxian fic you’ve read where, as you sadly leave your last kudos on the last chapter, you think, THIS COULD BE A MOVIE 😤!

Those fast paced, edge of your seat, tight plot, spot on character fics that you’d buy a ticket to see? Or maybe a smaller lyrical fic that could totally be an art house short film?

I was rereading Hobbsy3’s Tragedy is Not the End. I always have to make myself popcorn it’s so good! So yep, that’s my movie fic!

Dear mods, please direct me to the right list if this has been asked before!! 💚

Wei Wuxian Makes a Wish series by natcat5 (M, 119k, wangxian, major character death, underage, madoka magica au, modern w/ magic, time travel, high school au, body horror, self-harm, angst w/ bittersweet ending, time loop, mental instability, suicidal thoughts) is it cheating if it's technically based on a movie? I didn't need to know anything about what this is based on besides a quick Google but if asker is looking for something that leaves them feeling breathless with all kinds of feelings this is the first one that came to mind

💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags) I just read this and the descriptions of the armor and battlefields really felt like they would suit huge movie screens. It just had that imax vibe, ya know?

Also maybe 5 should look at the “Beautiful Writing and Good Plot” Compilation | Pt. 2 comps a lot of the fics on there feel like a movie

花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie (M, 29k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It of Sorts, Case Fic, Spells & Enchantments, Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, It's about the emotional catharsis, If you have ever laughed at WWX clowning himself for the 'no one will marry you' scene, This fic is: for you) i'm not a writer so i can't describe the feelings this fic evoked in me, but this is one of those fics that is so prettily written and if it's got a movie adaptation i would definitely watch it

In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss) everything this author writes is like a movie tbh

symmetry by bleuett (M, 44k, WangXian, Space, Science Fiction, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Holding Hands, Blow Jobs, Hand Feeding, Cultivation in Space, Yearning, Reunions, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Grief/Mourning, Unconventional Time Travel, Burial Mounds) I remember reading this and getting major interstellar vibes

💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery) this is like an A24 Sundance festival winner, author writes such incredible prose

Post Mortem by Cataclysmic_Calamity (E, 78k, wangxian, modern, Psychological Horror, friends with benefits, they're both fucked up but they love each other so much, Slow Burn Mystery, Unnegotiated Kink, Dom/sub, Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Con, Stalking, Drug Addiction, Serial Killers, in Wei Ying's desire to critique the 'final girl' trope he accidentally becomes one, Angst with a Happy Ending, meta commentary on the horror and true crime genres) A horror movie!!!! Very much on the edge of your seat.

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6. Huge thanks to the mods and participants for this wonderful blog! You keep my Mark for Later list going strong.

ITMF fics where someone tries to harm WWX because of LWJ. Maybe they're obsessively in love with him and want to get rid of the competition, or maybe they hate him and want to hurt him in the worst way possible by hurting the one he loves most, or whatever. Bonus points if Wangxian assume that whoever seems to be coming after WWX is coming after him because he's the Yiling Laozu instead of because he's LWJs love, and so they make wrong assumptions and mistakes. Happy for similar recs also, even if it's not a perfect fit! No Jiang Cheng bashing though plz. Thanks all! @flamingwell

this body yet survives by RoseThorne (T, 50k, WIP, WangXian, No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courting Rituals, Near Death Experiences, Attempted Murder, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Protective Siblings, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LWJ, Depression, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL)

A Soft Storm by AvoOwO (Not rated, 47k, wangxian, modern au, hurt WWX, LWJ pov, protective LWJ, not SS friendly, car accidents, hurt/comfort, heavy angst w happy ending, sexual harrasment, stalking, crying, blood & injury & gore, major character injury, college, slut shaming, insults)

Coincidence is Another Man's Fate by TriviasFolly (M, 164k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega wwx, Sexual Harassment, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, WangXian play the long game, UNTIL THEY DON'T, Getting Together, fated pairs, Eventual Attempted Sexual Assult and Recovery, Modern Setting - Office, Mpreg)

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7. Hi!! Does anyone know of any fics where dual cultivation classes are part of the lectures that all the young masters attend? I’d love to see them paired up to meditate, study, duel, night hunt, perhaps even take a couple of sex magic classes. In my head I am picturing something like those Harry Potter fics where students are paired due to compatible magic and they study together regardless of house division. Thank you!

turn towards the sun by Ariaste (E, 21k, WangXian, Kushiel's Legacy Fusion, The Night Court (Kushiel's Legacy), Kink Negotiation, Courtesans, Intimacy, BDSM, Consent, Wangxian's canonical fetishes, roughly Cloud Recesses-era, Extracurricular Kissing, Impact Play, Kink Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, (aka Madam Yu being canonically willing to hit WWX)) This may not be exactly what was requested but it’s definitely school and wangxian definitely “study” together:)

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8. Are there any fics where Wei Wuxian purposely tries to seduce Lan Wangji? Like he wears revealing clothes, touches him more often, moans while eating...etc? Like, Wei Wuxian knows Lan Wangji likes him and is trying to make him crack by being all flirty/seductive?

puzzle pieces by Yuisaki (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Roommates, Fluff, Humor, Friends to Lovers, Sharing Clothes, Getting Together, Pining)

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9. Hi mods! Can I ask for the next ITMF for some fics where WWX, JFM or even LQR are angry at Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren for not being careful enough during night hunts and leaving WWX alone? Something along the lines of why they didn't have a back up plan or why didn't they leave WY in Lotus Pier or somewhere else where he would be looked after while they were busy and risking something happening to him bc they didn't tell anyone where their child was if something happened to them. Doesn't really need to be bashing but definitely some abandonment issues and not WWX just being alright with what his parents did and wanting to do the same

Thanks!! @jiangclaritybell

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark) Lan Jingyi (very) briefly mentions how stupid it was for WWX's parents to just leave him when they went off night hunting

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10. Hii!! I hope you guys are well <3

I have a request for the next itmf, i recently read a fic where wwx is adopted by hua lian, so I was wondering if you had more fics in the same category?? The fic i read was the hearth series by eccentrick!!

Thank you in advance ❤️❤️

there's a whole tag Huā Chéng & Xiè Lián (Tiān Guān Cì Fú) Adopt Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn for that, but in specific

Hua Xianle by Tiffany_Guinne (Not rated, 170k, hualian, wangxian, TGCF, canon divergence, not Jiang friendly, madam lan lives, WWX adopted by hualian, WWX with different name, overprotective hualian, hurt WWX, WIP)

Narrative of Strength by MeltedIceAngel (T, 61k, WIP, WangXian, HuaLian, Canon Divergence, Adopt WWX, Found Family, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective XL, Protective HC, Adoption, Kidnapping, Attempted Kidnapping, Serious Injuries, Angst with a Happy Ending, TGCF)

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11. Hello, for the next In the mood for, do you have any wangxian fan fic recs of novel canon divergence/fix it that do not feature yunmeng bros reconciliation? Thank you so much in advance!

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, canon divergence, time travel, rogue cultivator WWX, no golden core transfer, not cultivation world friendly, not JC friendly, OCs) WWX travels back in time & goes fuck the cultivation world & JC in particular

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) WWX rebuilds his core while living in the Burial Mounds, JC loses his & is pissed about it

~*~

12. Can you recommend me Darkji fanfic and an oblivious weiying or a dark dark lanzhan where there's an abuse and manipulation included I don't mind🫶🏻

Obelus by Celestios (Not rated, 167k, wangxian, rape/non-con, non-con elements, NO rape, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Punishments, Spanking, Punishments, Dubious Morality, Dubious Consent, physical discipline, Physical Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Abusive Relationship, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, mention of violence, mention of drugs, Mention of alcohol, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, dark LWJ, Baker WWX, Bodyguard WN, Mentions of weapons, Gun mentions, Slow Burn, Long, Doctor WQ, Self Medicating, WWX has ADHD, Trauma Bonding, Psychological Manipulation, Gaslighting, Organized Crime, underground crime, Underground business, illegal business)

3-in-1 Shampoo/Conditioner/Bodywash - the Real Gateway Drug by Anonymous (E, 22k, WIP, WangXian, one sided wangxian (but for how long?), sketchy as fuck LWJ, does this count as dark! LWJ, implied bi WWX, modern au - no cultivation, Piss Marking, Come Marking, cum in food, brief cameo of food fucking, piss in food, Exhibitionism, Sloppy Seconds, Alcoholism, mention piss drinking, No Sex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, sexually charged assisted pissing, accidental hold, Omorashi, freak4freak, emotional manipulation/subdrop of sorts, co-pissing, panty huffing, Degradation, dubcon blowjob, FaceFucking, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, pissing on someone who's passed out drunk, Spanking, Verbal Humiliation, Mutual Masturbation, jerking off walkthrough (with commentary), threats of edging, mutual CNC fantasies, Unreliable Narrator, I gave LWJ the LBH sized cock he deserves, Bathing, pissing in fleshlight) 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash - the real gateway drug for itfm 12. It’s more extremely dubious consent than actual abuse, but there is definitely a bit of gaslighting.

Kinkotber Day 4: A Shift in Perspective by Anonymous (E, 2k, WangXian, Stockholm Syndrome, Rape/Non-con Elements, there's no violence but he certainly doesn't ask for concent, Dark LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Cockwarming, Exhibitionism, bimboification (kind of), collaring (at the end), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, PWP, Almost No Dialogue) as the tags say - no actual violence but deffo non/dubcon elements

~*~

13. Hello, do you know any modern or canon au wx fics where wangxian never interacted when they were kids/students but lwj still had a quiet crush on wwx?

and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

14. this might be a weirdly specific request for itmf, but I was wondering if you know of any fics where, either through reincarnation or time travel what have you, Lan Sizhui/Wen Yuan raises Wei Ying or Lan Zhan as his child(ren)?

~*~

15. For the next ITMF, can you recommend fic where characters OTHER than wangxian take ownership of their actions prior to wwx's death? (e.g. abandoning wwx/wen civilians to their fate, the mass slaughter of innocents, stealing & profiting off his work while slandering him, etc). I'm not interested in fics where this ownership has a caveat ("it was bad, but wwx was equally bad or worse" - these are fine but it's just not what I want to read.) Thanks! @balleyboley

~*~

16. Anything with wwx with low self-steem????

the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 88k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

Welcome to the Family Series by jiejieaini (E, 237k, WangXian, Modern, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, Angst, Explicit Sex)

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark) (link in #9) Seeing the “low self esteem” ask in ITMF made me go: any fic ever? If you want a funny response to it, metisket’s One Body Problem has Jingyi. Enough said.

Don't Leave Me by TrippinOnSkies (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Marriage Proposal, Mental Breakdown, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, But they are very mild, Overthinking, Good Sibling JC, Break Up, Gentle Sex, Gentle Kissing, Idiots in Love, Pining, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ is Whipped, Getting Together, NHS & WWX Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy EndingInsecure WWX, WWX Has Issues, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Sad WWX, WWX is Bad at Communicating)

could you find a way to let me down slowly, if you're leaving baby let me down slowly by ravenditefairylights (M, 36k, WangXian, XuanLi, Past MingXian, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Implied/Referenced Sex, Miscommunication, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Hurt WWX, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Protective Siblings, Trauma, Slightly dubious consent, courtesy of drunk sex, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Phoenix Mountain, Chronic Pain, Getting Together, Fix-It of Sorts, One Braincell Trio, PTSD)

See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX's Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually)

to be loved by wqngji (G, 1k, WangXian, Insecure WWX, Petty LWJ, JC is So Done, Domestic Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Doubt, Hugs, Hurt WWX)

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, it will not look like it until the very end but I promise there's a happy ending, lesbian wq rights, Music, Orchestra, platonic and romantic pining, wwx's serious self-worth issues, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

~*~

17. Is there a fic in which yiling people are protective of wei ying and wants him to come back

End Racism in the OTW | The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts) it’s mentioned briefly, I believe

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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hugmekenobi · 6 months

Text

S2: The Bad Batch (16)

Chapter Sixteen: Plan 99

Gif by @dreamswithghosts

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Some time has passed since everything that happened at Kamino and you and the Batch are trying to figure out your place in the rapidly changing Imperial galaxy. And you're having to do all this whilst figuring out where your relationship with Hunter fits into it.

Chapter Summary: There was a mission gone wrong and then there's what happened during and after Eriadu.

Masterlist for S1

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, swearing, MAJOR CHARACTER 'DEATH', HEAVY ANGST, my interpretation of thought processes, relatively detailed injury and torture descriptions, vomiting, slight hurt/comfort, brief kissing, Hemlock being a creep and just generally himself, I project my feelings again and reader makes a questionable choice but it needed to happen, no happy endings here

Word Count: 8.8K

Author's notes: If I have done my job right in any capacity, this'll be a rough one to get through. However, I promise I have a oneshot planned that'll fix some of what just happened and if S3 doesn't fix the rest, I will do it then!

You helped Hunter with opening the car doors and as you all saw the awful freefall that lay below you, you knew it was going to take a lot to get out of this situation in one piece.

“This… is not ideal.” Tech commented.

“At least we’re not hanging under the car.” Wrecker offered.

“This isn’t much better.” You said before you ducked as a round of blaster fire headed in your direction.

“Echo, get this car moving.” Hunter instructed as the rest of you fired back.

“The explosions must’ve knocked out the power to the rail line.” Echo theorised irritably.

You moved away from the edge of the doors back to the middle of the car. “What if I just take down their railcar? It wouldn’t take long.” You suggested.

Tech shook his head. “I do not think that would be wise. There would be no guarantee that the resulting impact of you destroying that line would not affect the terminal that we need to get moving. And we’d still be stuck here whilst the Empire can easily send more reinforcements and-”

“Okay, fine do it your way.” You interrupted as you went back to focusing your fire on the Imperials.

“I can try to reboot the system, but I will need to plug directly into one of the terminals on the track.” Tech said.

Hunter addressed the rest of you, “You four, give us cover, Tech up top with me.”

Tech and Hunter moved to the next level of the railcar and Hunter gave his brother a boost up to the roof so he could climb onto the track.

As Tech got underway, Hunter opened the other set of doors and opened fire, particularly on any soldiers that were aiming for Tech.

“I am plugged in. Stand by.” Tech said into his comm as he got to work.

You all were doing a decent enough job at holding them back. They had more numbers, but your squad was more skilled, so you were managing okay.

That feeling of things being under control did not last long as Hunter heard the familiar sounds of ships coming your way. “We’ve got three ships inbound.”

You muttered a series of expletives as you scanned the sky around you for them.

“Where? I can’t see them.” Omega asked fearfully.

“Tech, we need power!” You urged into you comm as you could hear them drawing closer with each passing second.

You all took up positions to open fire on them, but it did very little. The ships got a round of shots away and you had to fight to stay balanced as the car shook with the impact.

Tech stared at his datapad and finally the screen turned green. He tapped his comm, “Echo, now!”

Upon Tech’s word, Echo plugged back in, and the railcar finally came back online.

“Tech, get your ass back here.” You hurried as you saw the ships getting ready to make another pass.

Tech unplugged and got himself across to the main track and started running but he could hear the ships getting nearer.

Hunter concentrated his fire on the oncoming ships. He was able to clip one in the wing and it collided into another which he thought would be enough.

It wasn’t.

The third ship came speeding through and fired a series off shots that found their mark. You all stumbled inside the car as it violently shook and struggled against the onslaught of blaster fire.

The explosion flung Tech backwards, and he fell from the track onto the roof of the bottom half of the car. He tried to stand but the resulting shot had seen to it that the back of the railcar was tearing itself away from the track and as it titled backwards, he went with it. He managed to hook his grappling cable onto one of the grates, but he was stuck hanging over the abyss.

“Come on, Tech! Hurry!” Wrecker implored as he peered down the broken end of the railcar.

“I am climbing as fast as I can.” Tech replied with a grunt as he started to make his way up the cable, but the additional weight and well-placed rogue enemy blaster fire exacerbated the fragile state of the car and it lurched backwards, sending him further down the cable once more.

“Tech!” Omega cried as she saw him fall whilst Wrecker debated the best way to get down the sloped hallway.

“Why aren’t we moving?” Hunter asked Echo as he took refuge from the blaster fire.

“The car’s being ripped from the track.” Another harsh vibration sounded shook through it as he tried to get it moving.

“Wrecker, get him on board.” Hunter pressed, desperation seeping into his voice, before he opened fire on the soldiers again.

Wrecker made to step down, but the car dipped significantly.

“Don’t!” Tech yelled as he fell down even further. “Any shift in weight could send both of these cars over.”

You glanced behind you at Wrecker and Omega and made the call that the others could hold the troopers off. You needed to help Tech now. Channelling the Force, you focused on the point where the two hinges met but it was already fragile, and it would take a lot of energy and focus to keep them together since they were wanting to do anything but and the circumstances were hardly ideal to have that focus but you had to make it work. You could hear more ships coming but you ignored them, you didn’t care.

“You must sever the connection hinge. Now!” Tech instructed.

“Not until you’re up here.” Wrecker argued.

“Tech, I can hold them, just climb or let Wrecker-”

“You can’t keep them steady and wait for me to get up there with the time we have left.” Tech interrupted you as he saw the ships in the distance closing in again.

“She’s got it, Tech.” Wrecker said, doing his best to keep the distress out of his voice as he edged his way forward. As he did so, the cart swayed forward, and he glanced back at you.

“Go.” You said through gritted teeth as you focused on keeping both carts level, but each moment of blaster fire and Wrecker’s added weight were making it harder.

Tech fell a few more metres as the cart continued to pull itself away from the track. He looked around and he knew what he had to do. He needed you all to get away. He wasn’t wrong about this. You all would make it out. He just needed to take himself out of the equation. “There is no time.” He pulled out his blaster. “Plan 99.”

Your heart plummeted. Not that plan, any plan but that one.

Wrecker’s heart filled with dread.

Omega felt nothing but panic.

“Tech, please-” You broke off as you channelled more of your energy into keeping both carts stable, but another round of shots meant the car swung again. Your knees buckled and your hold faltered slightly.

“Don’t you do it, Tech.” Wrecker ordered as he tried to creep forward once more but the cart continued to protest against the strain.

Tech sighed before he accepted his next course of action. It was, in a way, a rather easy decision. Omega had once asked him if they were a family. His answer had been yes, and it was true. He just didn’t think he’d really said it enough, but he loved his family. And what do families do? They protect each other… and that’s exactly what he was going to do. “When have we ever followed orders?” With that, he fired a shot through the glass of the railcar that met its mark, and the connection hinge was severed.

Even if you could hold it, you were out of time. The ships would make their pass at any second and you couldn’t prevent your section of the railcar reconnecting or else none of you would make it out of this.

And you hated it. You fucking hated it, but you were left with no choice; you dropped your hands, released your hold and watched in agony as Tech fell.

“No!” Wrecker cried out as he helplessly watched his brother fade from view and there was nothing he could do nothing to stop it.

“Tech!” Omega yelled.

The railcar reconnected to the track and sped away from the troopers on the opposite side.

Hunter grabbed Omega’s wrist as she moved closer to the open end of the car. “Omega-”

“Go back! Go back!” She said desperately, reaching out as if she could still grab him.

You felt numb. You couldn’t move. Every other noise around you sounded fuzzy. The skulking darkness that had been circling you since Saw Gerrera showed up was asking for a way in. It took every fibre of control to not let it. Hunter’s voice dragged you back to the current moment.

“The car’s going too fast.” Hunter said urgently.

“The system’s fried. I can’t stop it.” Echo replied, desperately trying to plug back in to do something to stop the rapid descent as the back wall of the station grew dangerously close.

You knew your help wouldn’t be fast enough either, and you felt Hunter’s internal conflict as his helmeted gaze darted between you and Omega. It’s Omega first, every time.

Hunter lunged for her just as the cart collided and smashed through the wall of the terminal.

Everything was grey, and dull and bleak.

If it wasn’t for the bitter scent of smoke in the air, she wouldn’t have been sure that she’d even opened her eyes at first.

Debris from the wreckage surrounded her.

And she ached. Her entire body burned with the pain it took to stand.

Tech. She needed to find Tech. He couldn’t be far. She called his name but only managed a few paces before she collapsed once more.

She tried to fight it, but it hurt too much, and the encroaching darkness was too tempting.

As the pain overwhelmed her, she didn’t have the strength to turn it away.

You groaned as you came to and immediately felt woozy as you attempted to sit up. Your hood had already come loose from the collision, but you pushed your mask down to catch your breath and breathe through the soreness radiating through your body.

You brushed the dirt off your face but felt something wet leaving a trail down your cheek. You took off your glove and touched it to find your fingertips covered in blood. You carefully followed the path of blood to the source and winced as you touched the oozing deep cut by your temple. Fighting the dizziness, you looked around to see the others pushing themselves up but then your eyes caught sight of an unmoving figure and your blood ran cold.

You forced yourself to stand, ignoring the shooting pain that coursed through your ankle, and staggered over to Omega. You dropped to your knees next to her and felt for a pulse, which thankfully you found but it was weak. “Omega, come on honey, open your eyes for me.” You begged her as her body shivered beneath your touch. You felt the others come by your side. You hung your head in relief when you saw her eyes flicker open, but she couldn’t stay awake, and you knew she was in bad shape.

“We have to get her out of here.” Hunter said, doing his best to not let the panic he felt upon seeing her like this come through.

Wrecker picked her up. “I got you, kid.”

“Incoming! Get to the Marauder!” Echo shouted as Imperial reinforcements arrived.

You picked up Omega’s bow and provided Wrecker and Omega cover fire as you all retreated back to your ship.

“Head to Ord Mantell. AZ can help her. Hurry!” Hunter instructed Echo as he made his way to the cockpit.

You watched Wrecker gently place her down on your bunk whilst Echo got the ship in the air and into hyperspace.

“You’re bleeding.” Hunter stated, worry etched in his voice as he brushed some of your hair back and caught sight of the mix of fresh and dried blood on your skin.

“I’m fine.” You said groggily as the fading adrenaline meant you had to work harder to fight against the light-headedness you were experiencing. You then noticed the awkward way he clutched his forearm and at the fact standing up straight appeared to cause him some issues. “Are you okay?”

Hunter didn’t answer directly. “Are any of us?”

You glanced around you and felt the anguish in everybody that you knew also resided in your own heart. “No, no we’re not.”

You focused on watching Omega’s chest rise and fall as a way to keep you grounded and willed the journey to go quickly.

“Cid, AZ, we need your help!” You shouted as you limped into the parlour.

Cid took in all of your various injured states and nodded, too taken aback to offer anything else.

AZ dropped the cleaning supplies he was using and flew over to Wrecker. “Follow me.” He led the way to Cid’s room.

“It is best if you leave, and I can work on her without distraction.” AZ instructed.

Neither of them really wanted to, but they didn’t want their presence to be a problem, so they did as he said.

“Where’s Goggles?” Cid asked as Hunter and Wrecker came back into the main parlour.

And it was that question that snapped you all out of what ever fatigued state of denial you were in.

You half collapsed into one of the booths and blinked back the angry, grief-stricken tears that threatened to escape.

Wrecker released a shaky breath and just shook his head as he sat down on one of the bar stools.

And Echo- now that he knew Omega was getting the medical attention she needed- just left the room. For the first time in his life, he needed the solitude.

“We- we lost him.” Hunter just about managed to say as the loss overwhelmed him and he sat down next to you. He welcomed the loving hold you took of his hand as you rested it in your lap and rubbed circles on the back of it and was grateful for tender way you pulled his head to rest on your shoulder. He ignored the slight discomfort the position caused him.

“I’ll give you guys some time alone.” Cid said quietly as she made her way towards the exit.

You all were in too much pain and too emotionally exhausted to notice the comm she took with her.

You’d lost track of how long you’d all spent waiting for AZ to come back with news so when he finally entered the room, the room was ripe with nervous tension. She had to be okay. She just had to be.

“AZ?” You said uneasily.

“Omega’s injuries were severe, but I have stabilised her and she should recover. It is just a matter of time of waiting for her to wake up.”

You all let out a collective breath of relief.

“Thank you.” Hunter said gratefully.

AZ nodded. “Now, what injuries of yours can I assist with?”

“(Y/N) has an actively bleeding head injury and a wounded ankle and Wrecker’s neck is causing him problems. Leave me for last.” Hunter said.

You knew disputing the order wouldn’t be helpful to anyone right now, so you let AZ come over to you first.

After you all were taken care of, AZ went back to monitor Omega and give you guys some space.

“What are we going to do now?” Wrecker asked as AZ left.

Hunter sighed deeply. “We have nothing to go on. No location, no leads. Nothing. And with Tech-” He broke off with a cough before continuing, “With Tech gone and Omega being hurt like that…” He paused for a moment as he considered his next words, “I can’t put her through something like this again. I can’t put any of you through it again. We’re done. We’ll find somewhere to settle.”

“What about Pabu?” Wrecker offered quietly. “She likes it, and we were going to settle there anyway… right?”

Hunter looked to you and you nodded. “He gave us another chance. We should take it any way we can.” You said, clearing your throat as the pain of the loss threatened to overcome you.

“Alright.” Hunter said before he got to his feet. “I’m going to go wait until Omega wakes up.” He left the room.

“Wrecker, will you be okay for a moment?” You asked as you also stood.

Wrecker understood. “Go.”

You bowed your head in thanks and followed Hunter.

You paused by the doorway and studied the way he sat in the chair as he watched over Omega. His posture was tense, and his leg bounced anxiously. You knew he was barely keeping it together, but he was making himself because he was still the leader and had to be. But you wanted to give him a chance to let himself drop the appearance, if only for a moment.

“You don’t have to be strong right now. Not in front of me.” You walked around to the front of the seat and kneeled in front of him. You placed your hand on his cheek to turn his face towards you as he was keeping his eyes firmly on Omega. At your words, it looked like a weight just left his body and he let his head and shoulders hang lowly.

“That plan was never supposed to be used.” He uttered, his throat bobbing as the mask of composure started to drop.

Your heart ached as you felt the guilt and sorrow within him. You reached up and placed your arms around his neck and just held him close to you. I’m so sorry.

“I only got two of them.” Hunter mumbled into the crook of your neck as he met your embrace.

“Hmm?”

“The ships. There were three and I only got two of them. If I had just made sure, he wouldn’t have fallen from the track. The third got the shot away that killed him.”

You pulled away as you picked up on the way the typical rasp in his voice got lower and more uneven. You cupped his face in your hands and rubbed away the stray tears. “Hunter, you can’t do that to yourself.”

“I was supposed to look after us. By taking that mission, I put everyone in danger and look what happened.”

“You went because you knew it was the right thing to do. It gave us a last chance to get Crosshair back. What happened-” You took a second to draw a calming breath of your own. “What happened was cruel and unfair, but it wasn’t your fault. I know that guilt may never truly fade, I’ve been there, but you still have the rest of us. You still have me. Whenever you need a reminder that this was not your doing, I will be there, I promise.”

Hunter couldn’t help but search for any doubt or lies in your eyes and voice but found none. He pressed his lips into your palm and the sincerity and love in your tone served to remind him that he could do this. “We’ve lost two brothers.”

You brought your forehead to press against his and whispered understandingly, “I know.”

“I can’t lose anyone else.” He breathed against your lips, but he could feel himself starting to regain the composure he knew he was going to need for what was to come.

You placed a delicate kiss to his mouth. “You won’t.” You caressed your thumb along his cheek before you stood behind him with your hands on his shoulders as you both waited for Omega to come back around.

“Hunter? (Y/N)?” Omega winced with a groan as her eyes opened once more and saw you both standing by her bedside, the worry on your faces now becoming relief.

“Hiya, kid.” Hunter said warmly as he brushed some of her hair back and reached for her hand.

She let Hunter support her back as she tried to sit up and took in the various bandages that graced both of you and her own fading pain prompted the reminder that the mission had gone very wrong. “What happened?”

Before either of you could reply, AZ whirred into the room and Hunter delicately laid her back down.

“Hello, Omega. I am relieved you are awake.” He scanned her. “You each sustained multiple injuries. However, you all will make a full recovery with proper treatment and rest.”

His reassurance helped calm the anxiety you were feeling over her injuries. You tenderly hugged her as Hunter assisted in getting her upright.

“You’re- You’re okay.” Wrecker said with relief as he came into the room. He crouched in front of her. “Don’t scare us like that again.” He put an arm around her in a fond embrace.

You passed her some water. “How do you feel?”

Omega took it from you but didn’t drink it. “I don’t know. The last thing I remember, we were in the railcar when…” She released a horrified gasp as the images came flooding back. “Where’s Tech?”

“Omega, Tech didn’t make it.” Hunter said, his voiced laced with sadness at having to tell her this again. Part of him had hoped she’d remember so she wouldn’t have to go re-experience the hurt of the loss.

“We have to go back! What if he’s hurt? He- He need us. Tell him, Wrecker. We can’t just leave him!” But Wrecker only looked back at her with nothing but sorrow on his face.

“Omega…” Your voice cracked slightly as you attempted to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Omega hit your hand away. “No! Tech’s not gone! He- He can’t be!” Tears fell down her face.

Her reaction nearly broke you all over again.

“I- I know, kid.” Hunter said quietly as he moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

Reliving it all got too much for Wrecker. He wiped his eyes and backed out of the room.

You glanced over your shoulder as Wrecker left and you knew Hunter needed to talk to Omega about what the rest of you had discussed. “I’ll give you two a minute.” You said, your voice still thick with emotion.

“Why did Tech do that?” Omega said tearfully after you and Wrecker had left. She wiped her eyes. “He didn’t let us save him.”

“He knew we were out of time.” Hunter explained as simply as he could. “Tech put the squad ahead of himself. He made a sacrifice, Omega, and we’re not gonna waste it.”

“What does that mean?”

“The galaxy has changed, and so have we. It’s time to put being soldiers behind us for good. The three of us think Pabu could be a good place to make a new life for ourselves. And the rest of it, well, we can figure out along the way. Omega, is that something you want?”

She thought it through for a moment before she nodded.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Hunter said. This would work. You all could heal together and make it out okay. It would get better.

You pulled yourself onto the bar stool next to the one Wrecker was sitting on. “What can I do?” You asked caringly. You knew there was nothing you could say that would immediately ease the pain of grief, but if there was anything you could do to help, you would.

“Just being here is fine.” Wrecker mumbled roughly as he kept his emotions at bay.

You rested your hand on top of his- an act he gently mirrored with his own before he removed his hand. You know I love you, right? It was a sentiment you realised you had not shared enough with the others and you didn’t want that to continue anymore.

Wrecker breathed deeply. “I love you too… and it’s not just because you’re with Hunter. You became a part of this family long before that.”

The genuine and heartfelt way he said that touched you deeply. You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. “It’s a pretty good family to have.”

“Tech would’ve been able to tell you the exact date, I’m sure he kept a record of it.” Wrecker said with a sad chuckle.

You managed a half smile at his words. “That would be in character for him.”

A natural quiet descended on the two of you.

“Did we miss something? Did we miss a way to save him?” Wrecker asked into the silence.

The question was one you had been torturing yourself with ever since the ship had left Eriadu. “What we needed was time, and- and Tech knew we were out of it by that point.”

“Yeah.” Wrecker released a dejected sigh. “He always was the smart one.”

“Here. These are on the house.” Cid gifted you both a drink.

“It won’t help.” Wrecker said as he nudged it out the way.

You did the same.

“I’m sorry about Goggles. I always liked him.” Cid said sympathetically.

“Yeah. Us too.” Wrecker said with a crestfallen sigh.

Despite her words, you, and Wrecker both noticed the way she kept avoiding eye contact with both of you.

“What’s with you?” Wrecker asked.

Cid gulped, “You know, I tried to look out for you guys. But you got too much heat on you. And you brought it here to my place of business. I had to make the best of a bad situation.”

You picked up on her awkwardness and agitation. “Cid, what did you do?” You asked as a hollow pit of dread sat heavy in your stomach.

“I’m sorry.” That was all she said before she looked to the door.

You and Wrecker followed her stare, and a squadron of Imperial troopers came marching through the door with their blasters drawn.

You both instinctively reached for your blasters, but both of yours had been lost in the crash.

Wrecker was unaffected by the first stun blast that contacted him, and he charged at the group, but his neck brace severely limited his mobility.

You dodged the stun shot that was sent your way and realised keeping up a pretence would be pointless now. You threw your vibroblade into the shoulder of the closest threat to you before you Force-pushed multiple troopers against the back wall and used your ally to snap the wrists of others that aimed for you.

“Stop!”

You turned in the direction of the voice to see Wrecker half-conscious, kneeling on the floor with his wrists bound and a trooper holding a blaster to his head whilst the squad regrouped and pointed their weapons at you.

Your jaw tightened but you did as he ordered and let them take you. A kick to the backs of your knees brought you down. They took your comm off you and, judging by the way the cuffs he put on you were slightly different to Wrecker’s, they’d come prepared. You weren’t going to have an easy way out.

“She was right, Sir. This is the Jedi.” One of the troopers that was holding you down by the top of your shoulder said to Doctor Hemlock as he came through the crowd to stand at the front.

You glanced up at the man you now recognised as Doctor Hemlock who was staring down at you.

“Wonderful.”

He’d acted quickly when he knew the Empire was here and he’d kept Omega safe. That’s what mattered first. She was in the mining tunnels and on her way to Echo. The Empire wouldn’t find her. He could now focus on getting you and Wrecker back.

Hunter rounded the corner to the main parlour with his blaster drawn but his heart stopped at the sight. Both you and Wrecker were cuffed and being held at gunpoint by Imperials and Hemlock was right in the middle. He advanced forward a few paces, but the troopers focused their blasters on him.

“That’s not very strategic, Hunter.” Hemlock cautioned. “You don’t need to use your enhanced senses to know you’re outnumbered.” He turned his attention to the owner of the parlour. “The Empire thanks you for your assistance. Our business is done. Leave.”

“You piece of shit.” You hissed as you fought against the grip the troopers had on you as you watched her take the case of credits and walk out the door.

“Please consider your next move very carefully. I would hate for this to end poorly for all of you.” Hemlock advised. He paused and studied your handiwork on the wounded that were now being evacuated from the building. “Such an exquisite creature.” He brushed the fingers of his ungloved hand across your cheek. “You chose well.” He complimented the Sergeant.

You recoiled from his touch.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” Hunter snarled.

Hemlock ignored the clone for now and kept his attention on you. He lifted your cuffs by the middle. “How can someone so powerful be limited so easily?” He dropped your wrists. “Please. Do me the honour of just trying to use it.”

You stared him down in refusal.

“Or both of them will be killed.” Hemlock said simply.

You gritted your teeth and hoped the message behind your eyes as you looked to Hunter was clear- he had to keep it together.

Hunter didn’t understand what was about to happen. You were telling him to stay calm and remain where he was, but he didn’t fully know why. What was Hemlock talking about?

You braced yourself as you did as Hemlock said. You were met with the expected electric current that shot through your system. You didn’t cry out despite the pain; you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but you couldn’t help but fall forward on all fours. You had to take a few deep breaths before kneeling upright once more. The binds themselves had also grown tighter.

“Incredible.” Hemlock mused. “Years spent studying your people and the Force and we have barely scratched the surface of understanding you, yet science still finds ways to prove itself. Go again.”

“No!” Hunter protested. Watching you do that once was bad enough and you were hiding it well, but he knew you were in pain, and he couldn’t let it continue. Instinct took over and he moved a half step closer to you, but the line of blasters stopped him from advancing.

“How touching.” Hemlock mocked, internally thrilled that the reaction from both of you had been as he predicted. It made the process far more enjoyable. “But if you value your fellow clone’s life, you will not stop this.”

“I can- I can handle it.” You said breathlessly as a way reassure Hunter and stop him from doing anything reckless- you knew this torture was as much for him as it was for you, and you needed him alive. But you couldn’t prevent the pained grunt that left your mouth this time and you fell forward once more, and the cuffs pinched the skin of your wrists.

“Again.” Hemlock ordered you.

“Don’t.” Hunter pleaded, but he wasn’t talking to Hemlock, he was looking at you. This wasn’t something you should have to handle. There had to be another way. He should be the one to take that pain.

Whatever it required to keep them both alive. “It’s okay.” You said, your voice hoarse. You did it again and an audible cry fell from your lips.

Hemlock waited until you sat up. “Again.” He demanded.

You inhaled with a wince and did as he said.

The cycle continued until Hemlock said otherwise.

Hunter wanted to stop it. Despite your words, his resolve was weakening by the second. The only thing stopping him from doing something was that Wrecker’s life was also involved here but he couldn’t stand that all he could do was watch you go through this torment over and over again.

Wrecker struggled against his captors as he watched, but they were too many securing him.

“Stop.” Hunter finally growled at Hemlock after this last round saw to it that you were barely able to right yourself. He saw your arms give out from beneath you with the effort it took to remove yourself from the ground. And from the way you were trying to flex them, he guessed you were losing feeling in your fingers.

Hemlock smirked, “I am merely giving her a preview of what’s to come. I need to know what it’ll take to crush someone like her.”

He kneeled beside your crumpled body and spoke into your ear. “I will look forward to breaking you.” He kept eye-contact Hunter.

Hunter was clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth hurt. The thought sickened him.

You believed him. That quiet, menacing tone in his voice told you he truly meant what he was saying and… and that brought out a level of fear you’d never felt before. But you wouldn’t let that happen yet. Your arms trembled as you braced your palms against the floor and you panted through the throbbing discomfort in your body, but you managed to get back to a kneeling position. In a way, you were also grateful for the harsh but secure hold the troopers resumed since it meant you weren’t required to keep yourself stable.

“Such resolve.” Hemlock whispered to you. “And now onto the other matter at hand.” He said breezily as he stood upright once more and addressed Hunter. “Here’s how this is going to go. You will lower your blaster and hand over Omega. And I will allow you to keep breathing.”

“Omega’s not going anywhere with you.”

The fierce protectiveness of the clone brought out a soft snicker from Hemlock. “Oh. Well, who knew clones are so paternal? Fascinating.”

To hear that observation come from that man had bile rising in your throat.

“I was saddened to learn of your friend’s demise. What was his name? Oh, yes. Tech.” Hemlock taunted cruelly.

“Don’t fucking say his name.” You spat as you strained against your captors. An act Wrecker joined you on.

Hemlock merely reached his hand out to one of the soldiers and took the object. “I’m afraid this was all I could salvage. Consider it a gift.” He tossed the broken goggles across the room to Hunter’s feet.

Your strength was returning and at Hemlock’s actions, you attempted to lunge for him, but the troopers acted quickly and, with a strong grip on your shoulders, they forced you back to your knees.

Hemlock was unphased and stepped forward a few paces. “To lose one of your own, it must weigh heavily on you as their leader.” He signalled back to his men who pressed their blasters against the back of yours and Wreckers heads. “And if you don’t lower the blaster now, you will lose more.”

Hunter looked past Hemlock and you and Wrecker.

Wrecker did the best he could do to shake his head.

“Hunter, n-” The sharp tap of a blaster interrupted you.

He wasn’t losing any anyone else. And with Omega gone, the rest of you could find a way out.

You helplessly watched as Hunter put the blaster down and delicately picked up and studied Tech’s goggles.

“Wise decision.” Hemlock praised before he waved his men forward.

Hunter let them pass and allowed himself to be cuffed and brought over to join the two of you.

You and Wrecker were pulled to your feet, and you attempted to wriggle out of their grip, but they wouldn’t give.

“Sir, the girl’s not in the office.” The troopers informed Hemlock as they came back out.

You and Wrecker glanced at Hunter who subtly nodded at the two of you.

You and Wrecker shared a small breath of relief. As long as she was safe, you could manage whatever came next.

“She’s long gone. Like I said, Omega’s not going anywhere with you.” Hunter said to Hemlock.

Hemlock merely hummed. “We’ll see.”

The three of you were escorted out but what you couldn’t work out was why you were still being physically restrained whilst the other two got to walk normally.

Ord Mantell was in chaos.

People were screaming and clamouring to get out of the way of the Imperial soldiers and AT-AT walkers that were making their presence known.

A series of warning blaster fire halted you all from continuing. You turned in the direction of the fire and your stomach dropped as you saw who was on an upper platform staring down at the rest of you. No, she wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Lower your weapons.” Hemlock instructed his soldiers before he called over to the young girl, “Hello, Omega. We were just talking about you.”

Omega kept her bow activated. “Let them go!”

“Omega, run!” Hunter shouted before he got held back by one of the troopers.

“I won’t let them take you.”

“How about an exchange? If you come with me, your friends will live.” Hemlock negotiated.

“You fucking bastard.” You seethed as you pulled against the hands that were holding the upper part of your arms.

“I don’t believe you.” Omega replied suspiciously.

“I did not come here for them, Omega. I came to return you to Nala Se. She needs your help.”

“He’s lying. They killed the Kaminoans.” Hunter countered.

“Incorrect. Nala Se is alive and well care for.” Hemlock retorted before he returned his attention to the girl. “As you will be.”

“I’m not going with you.” Omega affirmed but she didn’t sense the clone trooper behind her.

“Omega, look out!” You shouted but it was too late.

All of you watched with devastation as Omega met the receiving end of a stun shot and her limp body got picked up by the trooper.

“Scour the city. When you find the third clone, send them back to Eriadu. Governor Tarkin wishes to question you personally.” Hemlock walked over to you. “But you…” He smiled coldly at you. “Your use lies elsewhere.”

Your heart shattered as you realised what that meant.

Hunter’s head turned sharply to look from Hemlock to you and the pained panic on your face mirrored his own. He reacted instantly and ran for you, but he didn’t make it far before the troopers separating the two of you got in the way and shoved him back. He continued to try and fight his way through, but the cuffs limited his effectiveness and a strong punch to his stomach winded him and he hunched over in discomfort. He took a few deep breaths and wriggled free of the two soldiers that had come to bring him back in and tried again but this time he was met with a kick to his already wounded torso.

You were shouting unintelligible sounds of protest as you writhed and struggled against the strong hands holding you back and attempting to drag you away. You managed to stamp on the foot on one of your captors and elbow one of the others in the stomach and their grip faltered.

But they regrouped quickly.

A swift hit of a blaster on your still wounded head had you blinking away black dots. You could do nothing to stop the severe grip one trooper took on the back of your neck, forcing you to hunch over whilst the others grabbed your arms and got ready to take you away.

“Let them.” Hemlock held a hand up to stop the actions of his soldiers. It would only help with his process. Let the two of you have the chance at a last moment together dictated by him and stopped by him. The emotional turmoil it would create would play beautifully.

Still half-dazed, when the troopers let you go, you were left with no choice but to fall to the ground.

Hunter shoved past the line of soldiers and knelt before you. As gently as he could manage, he placed his hands under your chin to push your head up. “I love you.” Hunter choked out.

Hemlock signalled his men.

You wanted to say so much more but you didn’t have the time. “I love you too.” You replied, your voice cracking. Your lips met for the briefest of moments but that was all you managed before you got hauled to your feet and they yanked you away from him.

As he watched your fading figure, Hunter didn’t have the strength to fight the troopers that lifted him to his feet and led him and Wrecker in the opposite direction.

The only thing that was keeping you from giving into the pounding agony that was bouncing around your skull was that Omega was now being carried alongside you. You would hang on for her.

“What are we doing?” One of the remaining troopers asked as he saw the group split off.

“Doctor Hemlock wants her getting a separate shuttle in case the others get away and come looking for them.” The clone in charge of the group answered.

“Please.” You begged with a broken breath as you saw the group separate and Hemlock disappeared down the street with Omega. “Just let me go with her. I won’t-” The butt of a blaster meeting your cheekbone shut you up and you groaned with the stinging pain it left you. Your vision kept blurring in and out of focus.

“Quiet! Keep walking!” The trooper ordered you.

You had so little resolve left. Hopelessness had overwhelmed you, so you followed their orders, your feet dragging as they led you in the direction of wherever the other shuttle was.

Hunter could feel the fight leaving him as he and Wrecker were escorted to the shuttle that would take them to Eriadu. So much of what he cared about had been ripped from him and now the remaining people in his life that he loved would pay the price for his failure. The echoes of explosions and blaster fire grabbed his attention, and he looked up to see a walker come stomping round the corner but it’s aim was directed towards the Imperials.

“Echo?” Wrecker asked.

“Gotta be Echo.” Hunter agreed as he dug deep for the energy to fight back.

Wrecker broke his cuffs open on the top of his knee and Hunter landed a kick to the trooper behind him to give Wrecker time to undo his cuffs.

The two of them worked on taking care of the remaining troopers and stole their blasters and fired on the clones that were aiming for Echo’s walker. What they couldn’t stop however, was the next walker that rounded the corner that fired on Echo’s.

Echo went to the hatch and jumped out of the walker just as it collapsed to the ground.

“Where are the other two?” Echo asked as he emerged from the downed walker with AZ and took cover with his brothers.

“That Imperial took them.” Wrecker answered.

“It was Hemlock. We’ve got to stop his ship from leaving.” Hunter said.

The three of them scanned for ways out but reinforcements were arriving from both sides. It was then though that Hunter noticed a platform that ran above the landing pad where Hemlock’s shuttle must be and the group of them made their way up to it, avoiding enemy fire as they did so.

Hunter ran ahead to the edge of the platform and could only watch with despair and agony as Hemlock’s shuttle took off. He paid no attention to the surrounding sounds of blaster fire; he couldn’t turn his gaze away from the departing ship.

Half his life was on that ship.

Hell, his heart was on that ship.

And he couldn’t stop it.

He couldn’t stop any of it.

And it broke something in him.

It killed him.

Echo’s voice dragged him back.

“Hunter, we have to go!”

Hunter managed to find his voice. “Get to the Marauder!” He ordered and the three of them started to run once more.

They made it to their ship and managed to take off but there was no relief in the feeling. The air was thick with grief and loss.

“There was no way to track Hemlock’s ship. He could’ve taken them anywhere.” Echo said forlornly from the cockpit.

Hunter glanced back to where Omega’s room was, then he saw Wrecker cradling Tech’s goggles. Then he found himself fiddling with the cord around his neck and his fingertips grazed the small symbol attached to it. He’d failed so many people. Everything he’d promised both to himself and to his squad had fallen apart so quickly before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Well, no more. He refused to let this be how things ended. “We are going to get them back.” He said darkly. “And we don’t stop searching until we do.”

The shuttle you were being taken to was on the other side of the city, but you had finally arrived.

The ramp lowered and you didn’t resist them as they nudged you towards it.

You walked a couple paces but then you spotted the smoke bomb thrown at your feet.

Fog engulfed you.

You were set free but all you registered were the panicked shouts and shots from blasters around you.

The Imperials didn’t last long, in rapid succession you heard the thud of each body that had brought you here.

Then everything went quiet.

A hand from behind grabbed your shoulder.

You reacted quickly and swerved out of the grip and whipped around to land a punch wherever you could reach. You heard the satisfying thump of your fists meeting bone and the figure backed away a few paces.

You readied yourself for the next attack, but it didn’t come.

“That’s a hell of a punch you’ve got. Would hate to see what you’re like when you don’t have cuffs on you.”

You recognised that voice and you pushed the faintness away and peered through the smoke at the figure approaching you, sniper rifle on her shoulder as she massaged her jaw. You relaxed your stance. “Lyra?”

“Hey, stranger.” She greeted you as she began picking the locks of your cuffs.

“What are you doing here?” You massaged your wrists as your binds came loose and you felt the Force start to flow through you again, but it felt… tainted. You searched in the Force around you for any sign of them, but there was nothing there. You really wished that meant they’d found a way out and escaped safely but everything felt disconnected. You weren’t yourself; something had shifted, and you weren’t sure if you would be able to right yourself anymore.

“Rescuing you, kinda thought that much was obvious. Where are the others?”

You felt your throat tighten as you searched for the words, but you couldn’t find them, and your stomach turned with both the aching in your head and your heart. You braced your hands on your knees and threw up.

The smoke had cleared, and Lyra was able to take you in properly. Your ankle was strapped, the skin on your cheek had broken and a purple bruise was starting to take shape and the stitches by your temple were starting to tear open as specks of blood escape the wound. It also wasn’t just your obvious injuries she saw- your body looked heavy with defeat. “What do you need?” She asked kindly.

“I need a ship.” You rasped as you wiped your mouth and stood up.

“You have one.” Lyra pointed to the shuttle right next to you.

“No. I wouldn’t get out of the system in that. They’d find me immediately.” You reached down and took a blaster from one of the unconscious bodies.

“So, you need something off the grid that would not pass any standardised mechanical check?”

“Add in an already scrambled signature and yeah pretty much.” You inhaled deeply as another wave of nausea hit you.

“I know someone who owes me a favour and makes a living from selling ships like that. Can’t promise we’ll get very far but it could work.” She paused as she saw the way you still swayed on your feet. “Are you sure you’re up for that? I can go myself and meet-”

“I’m not getting separated from anyone else.” You said sharply before you straightened your shoulders. “Lead the way.”

You waited as Lyra squared up deal and studied your way out of here. The ship did look like a hunk of scrap metal, but it would get you out unnoticed and that’s all that mattered.

“Okay, let’s go.” Lyra said as she came over to you.

You sighed, “Lyra, thank you. For all of this. But you can’t come with me.”

Lyra placed her hands on hips in defiance. “I have nothing here, they wrecked my stall and raided the other stores. I’m going with you. At the very least, you need someone to treat that serious concussion properly.”

Dealing with your injuries were way down on your priority list. You could feel it creeping in again and you weren’t sure you had the strength to oppose it anymore. “What I am… what I’m going to do, you shouldn’t be around for. I can’t-”

“Can’t be worse than what I’ve seen already. Come on, we gotta get going.” She said with finality as she walked past you and up the ramp to the ship.

On her head be it. You thought to yourself as you followed her up and she got the ship in the air.

Omega walked out the Imperial shuttle with a deep sense of unease. She recognised Mount Tantiss and the presence of Nala Se troubled her. She feared for what this doctor had planned for her.

“Have Emerie see to her injuries.” Hemlock ordered the assistant that came to greet them.

Omega didn’t follow the woman, she just looked to Nala Se. “Why did they bring me here?” She didn’t get to hear a reply for the trooper behind her prodded her back to make her go inside.

Hemlock addressed the Kaminoan after Omega was out of earshot. “Your prime minister mentioned you had an attachment to the young clone, so I’ve returned her to you. Perhaps now, you will reconsider working on the Emperor’s project.”

“What he seeks is not possible.” Nale Se argued.

“Make it possible. If you refuse or fail, Omega will suffer the consequences.” Hemlock threatened.

Satisfied that his threat had landed effectively, he waved the Kaminoan away and went to go inside but a clone voice stopped him.

“Sir, we’ve heard reports on an attack on the squad escorting the Jedi and the shuttle never checked in. It would seem she escaped.”

Hemlock had to hide his surprise. Clearly something had happened he had not anticipated. “That is… unfortunate, but we’ll make do… for now.”

Omega was led into a lab and what she saw horrified her. There were tubes and rows of unconscious clones strapped down onto testing tables. Then her eyes caught sight of someone she knew. “Crosshair!”

She ran over to him and tried to rouse him, “Crosshair? Crosshair?” He showed no signs of movement. She heard the sound of oncoming footsteps and turned to see the woman that must be ‘Emerie’ standing behind her.

“You must be Omega.” Emerie said.

“What did you do to Crosshair?” She asked angrily.

“He’s recovering. I tried to warn him what would happen if he did not cooperate with the doctor.”

“I want to talk to Nala Se.”

“Ironic. You trust the Kaminoan, but not me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“No?” Emerie kneeled in front of the young girl and removed her glasses. “You might know me better than you think.”

Omega furrowed her brow.

“We’re sisters, Omega.”

Lyra finished tending to your head and cheek before she went to the cockpit to give you some time.

As you stared down the corridor and out into the blue clouds of hyperspace, you gained a true moment of clarity. The galaxy and the Empire had taken much from you, but you’d always been able to push through.

In a strange way, you’d even thought you were better off because of where you’d ended up. You had gained a greater sense of purpose, you had room to properly care for the people in your life, you had a family.

But now they’d gone too far. Too much had been taken from you, your family, from the people you loved, and you weren’t going to let it happen anymore. You couldn’t let it happen anymore.

You weren’t as strong as you’d thought you were. Something gets cracked enough times enough times, it’s bound to break.

You were done hiding.

Your arms fell to your sides and your fists clenched and the darkness you had been running from since Eriadu came flooding back. Only this time, this time you weren’t going to fight against it.

This time.

This time, you embraced it.

Oneshot>

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#the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch s2 #hunter x reader #hunter x femalejedi!reader #hunter x fem!reader #hunter x female!reader #sergeant hunter x reader #sergeant hunter #hunter tbb #hunter the bad batch #the bad batch hunter x you #hunter x y/n #tbb hunter x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #star wars #angst #friends to lovers

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batrachised · 9 months

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just reread the curious case of walter blythe................ i trust you with my blorboy. any other thoughts on him?

(referring to this post - highly recommend digging into the reblogs as well because there was a lot of interesting discussion!)

Thoughts on Walter Blythe? Do I have thoughts on Walter Blythe? My home-boy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good-time boy? He's hard to analyze because the tears make it difficult to see the screen to type, but I will assuredly try my best.

Gah, it's hard to know even where to begin with Walter. Walter is difficult to poke at it in one sense, because (as I read somewhere once), he's more of an emblem than an actual character. He repeatedly represents WWI in the text, and WWI's impact on his generation. Like Emily, he seems to have a connection to a "second sight" of sorts, but unlike Emily, this isn't in your local neighborhood witch way - it's in a 'terminal and aware of it' way (to borrow the phrase from gogandmagog). Both Rainbow Valley and Ingleside mark him for death; a rather abrupt shift from the sunny childhood tone of the novels. What's more, this sometimes comes from Walter himself. In Rainbow Valley, he's the one to say they'll follow the Pied Piper, while also being the one to sense the horror flickering underneath the idea. In Ingleside, we have the shadow of his cross over his bed, breaking the placement of the story for a moment; it pops forward to a future Anne, looking back and wondering if that were an omen in her grief (a chilling vignette in an otherwise idyllic, literal 'tucking children into bed' scene). Then, of course, there's this poppy passage I'll never stop thinking about:

"Look at that wave of poppies breaking against the garden wall, Miss Cornelia. Susan and I are very proud of our poppies this year, though we hadn't a single thing to do with them. Walter spilt a packet of seed there by accident in the spring and this is the result. Every year we have some delightful surprise like that." "I'm partial to poppies," said Miss Cornelia, "though they don't last long." "They have only a day to live," admitted Anne, "but how imperially, how gorgeous they live it! Isn't that better than being a stiff horrible zinnia that lasts practically for ever?"

As posted before, it's a subtle foreshadowing of Walter's short life, while also referencing his fate - poppies are its enduring symbol of WWI.

So, in the midst of this repeated foreshadowings, we have actual child Walter. Extremely sensitive, bullied, a misfit, a misfit to the point that he doesn't even look like his family (a hop out of kin, as the book says), and someone who is ruled by fear yet has a iron moral backbone. He hates violence in all forms, and yet can savagely beat another child when called for. He's implied to have a gift for poetry that's exceptional, the same gift that leads to derision and confusion from everyone around him. He's asexual in the text, as the article I cite in the original post would say, never displaying an interest in women (besides one person suspecting he liked Faith) in a way unlike every other LM Montgomery hero. He's very earnest - see this passage from Ingleside, which is probably one of my favorites from LM Montgomery, just look at our helpful boy:

"Did you hear what happened to Big Jim MacAllister last Saturday night in Milt Cooper's store at the Harbour Head?" asked Mrs. Simon, thinking it time somebody introduced a more cheerful topic than ghosts and jiltings. "He had got into the habit of setting on the stove all summer. But Saturday night was cold and Milt had lit a fire. So when poor Big Jim sat down...well, he scorched his..." Mrs. Simon would not say what he had scorched but she patted a portion of her anatomy silently. "His bottom," said Walter gravely, poking his head through the creeper screen. He honestly thought that Mrs. Simon could not remember the right word. An appalled silence descended on the quilters. Had Walter Blythe been there all the time?

Then we have adult Walter, whose character focus has been tightened to the war entirely. Walter's arc as an adult is facing his fear of violence, but also, of himself - of not being good enough. Walter has been looked down his entire life for who he is, including by his loved ones (both Gilbert and Susan imply or explicitly state disapproval of Walter at different points, although Gilbert's is very understandable in context). Wrapped into this has to be the self-knowledge of what he was like fighting Dan Reese, and knowing that he'll be expected-encouraged-required to tap into that part of himself. It's a pressure cooker situation, with societal pressure, moral pressure, moral censure, and self-censure all thudding down on him at once.

And Walter goes, and Walter dies. His arc as the "other" is complete; his poem and letter to Rilla speak to a hope for the future; he even sees his death as a mercy, because he couldn't have lived after the things that he'd seen. Jem will come back to work as a surgeon and marry Nan; Nan will wed Jerry; Rilla be a mother and wife to Ken -- Walter will forever be "Somewhere in France."

A grim ending, but LM Montgomery is deliberate in highlighting its hope. Walter writes of the poets of the future, and his death is understood to be both a pointless tragedy and a necessary, noble sacrifice.

What interests me is how this changes in the TBAQ. This book...it's raw. It's just raw. There are notably moments when the importance of Walter's death is emphasized, and this importance is intertwined with a steady hope - see the following line from Gilbert...

...but repeatedly, it's raw grief. Walter's siblings rarely refer to him dying; instead, they describe it unsteadily as "when he went away." Anne especially - the main character of the series, a cultural cornerstone synonymous with optimism and joy - is a far cry from how we've seen her before. It's repeatedly mentioned that Anne has not been the same since Walter's death, and whenever we hear Anne speak after the war in this book, it's almost always--if not always--something downcast and hopeless. It's her children and her husband who are the ones trying to comfort and find meaning; Anne herself is broken. The book reflects the themes of Walter's arc in Rilla - his noble sacrifice, the violence of his passing, its inevitability as deemed by the text - but it is also a blunt, uncushioned statement that Walter's death left a wound that will never be healed. Unlike with other major character deaths in the Anne series - Matthew, Joyce, eventually Marilla - there is no acceptance here. Anne of Ingleside mentions how Anne still mourns Joyce, but that's one beat of many in her life filled with babies and laughter. Here, Anne's grief is the only one. Everything we learn about her in this book indicates that Anne is not okay, and will never be okay again. It's a picture of a woman so deeply sunken in her grief it becomes her primary characteristic. She finishes Walter's unfinished poems, she reads them aloud to her family, she is disconsolate in every paragraph, and the book ends with her finding a poem of Walter's he wrote on the front where he imagines viciously bayonetting a teen soldier to death, resulting in her saying she was happy Walter had never come back.

I'm getting offtrack from the subject of Walter here, but the point of these very rambling paragraphs is that Walter's inherent textual purpose is to illustrate the horrors of WWI. Normally, LM Montgomery's strength lies in the slice of life approach that deftly handles the reality of life's bittersweetness. With Walter's fate, it's just bitter. There's no uplifting message, or character growth--the characters are crushed (at least in TBAQ, vs in Rilla, where its tied to the defeat of evil and Rilla's arc as mentioned above).

This inherent purpose is impossible to separate from Walter, or at least very difficult [trust me, as someone who is writing a fanfic on a no wwi walter]. What would a Walter who survived WWI been like? Would he have been transformed into a darker version of Dean Priest? What about a Walter who never went to war at all? Would he have married Una? Would he have married at all? Was part of his tragedy realizing the reality of romance (ala Anne in Anne of Avonlea) too late, quite literally the night of his death? How would that play out if he had survived? If WWI had never happened at all? Would he have been a famous poet? Or was this only achievable through war and his Piper poem? WWI is the fabric of Walter's character, and so answering these questions - while definitely possible and reasonable - can turn into a bit of a guessing game. The implication in Walter's tragedy - in this sense, tragedy meaning what he himself lost with his death - is that he never achieved his dream of being a poet, and he never married Una/didn't see her until it was too late. This provides us with the implication of what his life would have been like if he had survived, but the war also serves as his mechanism for achieving them. Walter becomes a famous poet because of the war, and realizes his [??????] for Una only once he realizes his death is inevitable.

Then, as seen in the post you brought up, Walter's intended character arc inadvertently doubles as an unintended character arc of his sexuality. A lot of Walter's "terminal and aware of it" characteristics double as signals for the potential truth of his sexual identity. I think this is seen most sharply in the short story from TBAQ where Patrick, also unlike other boys, also censured by society, says he loves Walter with all his heart - meant to pair them due to their brushes with death, but the secondary reading here is inescapable. [i recognize they're related, but this was the time of cousin marriages so]

This post has become a sprawling behemoth, but it visually demonstrates my overall point: I think Walter Blythe is one of the richest and most complex characters LM Montgomery wrote. It's fun to tease out the other characters' beliefs and habits and depth, but Walter is a universe of implication and tragedy. There are endless questions to be asked here: what did Gilbert think of Walter, as almost polar opposites? How did their relationship change as Walter grew into a man? What about Walter's nephew, who is said to also love poetry? What sort of relationship would they have had if Walter had survived? How do you grow up dealing with censure from all sides? How do you grow up dealing with censure from all sides, and with a popular and well-liked older brother who is everything you are not? The war serves as a christening of Walter's courage and therefore his masculinity - how would Walter's struggles with his perceived masculinity have played out had the war never happened? Would it have taken international success for him to gain respect? What if he never did? How would Walter's capacity for savage violence have played a role in his life, if it all? Why is Walter so capable of savage violence compared to his siblings? If Walter had survived, would this part of him become more prominent? On the flip side, Walter is extremely sensitive to ugliness and violence - how would this impact his life if the war had never happened, because life inevitably brings this everyone's way?

Most importantly of all, can Walter as an emblem be separated from the thing he is the emblem of? What do you do with a symbol that loses its meaning?

In the end, Walter's character has the unavoidable tension of a tragic figure for the reader. His story compels us because of its end, and yet wanting to change the end is what compels us. Separating Walter Blythe from his death in the text is nearly impossible- but also irresistible.

#walter blythe #lm montgomery #this is very train of thought so apologies if you wanted something cohesive friend #and yes I did tear up #“somewhere in France” just GETS me

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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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also if we're doing total drama dirtbags...let's see

gen 1: courtney, duncan, gwen, heather, alejandro, eva

gen 2: scott, b, lightning, jo, zoey maybe? at least in universe haha

gen 3: dave, scarlett, sugar (first two are must haves, last one just seems fitting for a show called dirtbags), amy/max/topher or even multiple of these 3 depending on how much gender and generation balance we want

I'm reluctant to use the name "Dirtbags", simply because it'd overlap with the canonical fake show and that's super confusing, but I was thinking something more along the lines of:

GEN 1: Heather, Duncan, Courtney, Gwen, Alejandro, Eva, Izzy*, Harold**, Sierra, Justin

GEN 2: Scott, Lightning, Jo, B, Anne Maria***, Mike****

There's more Gen 1 characters simply because Gen 1 had the bigger cast of a whopping twenty five contestants, and I wanted to have the customary sixteen cast members here (otherwise I'd probably scrap Harold and Izzy). I'm considering swapping out either Izzy or Sierra for Blaineley, but she doesn't really count as a contestant so much as a host, so she'll probably came a cameo as a co-host at some point instead.

* Izzy's a wildcard character, and generates a lot of minor conflicts in the show, so she's villain-adjacent.

** Harold's whole 'getting Courtney eliminated' thing really showcases his villain potential, so he's in the same category as Eva and B. The 'potential villain' characters are the ones who have the most conceivable revenge-fuelled villain arcs, which Harold definitely does.

*** Anne Maria is, again, a conflict character. A lot of her plot relevance revolves around her vanity impacting her usefulness to the team, or her infatuation with Vito sabotaging Mike and Zoey's relationship.

**** Mal. Also his alters are, again, a conflict generation plot device, making him villain-adjacent despite being a 'protagonist'.

Of course, Mike could be swapped out with either Zoey or Dakota (I haven't finished RotI yet, but Dakota has more villain potential than Zoey from what I've seen) but I kind of want to keep the gender ratio even, since that's what the show itself does.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Anne Maria and Dakota could easily be swapped. They're both about the same level of villain-adjacent, and Dakota has more incentive for villain-potential given the whole mutation fiasco. But I think Anne Maria deserves more screen time, so. 🤷‍♀️

Now, in terms of Gen 3... I don't know Gen 3. So I'll have to trust your judgement there. If I were to add some Gen 3 characters, I'd probably thin the herd here to make more room for them.

As for the name, I'm thinking something synonymous with antagonist or villain would work well enough, since the whole concept of this 'fan season' is putting the villainous characters through a series of morality test inspired challenges and hoping they come out of it as better people. Though something referencing the fact that they're, in theory, being rehabilitated into better people would also work.

Total Drama Rehab is out, for obvious reasons. As is Total Drama Baddies, because I guarantee that's already being used for someone's NSFW pinup collection or something, and I don't need that sort of association with any of my AUs.

Total Drama Scoundrels is the name I've been sitting on, but that might just be because I think 'scoundrel' is a funny word. Same as terms like 'fiend', 'rascal', 'scallywag' and my personal favourite, 'rapscallion'.

#total drama #as of yet unnamed all-stars-ish au #silly ideas #replies

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spideymichelle · 2 years

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I have my theories but I must know yours moochie what is the dream for MCU peter from now on

seek, my beloved my dreams are big too big for the mcu so here is what i hope and actually can see happen going forward if the mcu writers use their brains

spider-man 4

i need peter to go back to the basics and fully focus on being a street vigilante that focuses on street crime but who does help other vigilantes in new york but with a whole lot of attitude (think the defenders/cloak and dagger etc) but overall is just a pretty lonely and sulky dude who is very much failing as a human being

the main villain will probably be scorpion who is being assisted by black cat trying to build his own criminal empire a la kingpin having learned a lot from toomes and prison.

the main villain is indeed kingpin who has grown way more powerful than his d+ appearances with scorpion rising fast in his ranks so he is forced to team up with matt and has to learn that he needs help/people in his life

and maybe a side plot about numerous bodies turning up in new york which spider-man thought had something to do with scorpion/kingpin but finds out, in the end, they knew nothing about.

the overall theme is that peter parker needs people/spider-man needs people and he cannot continue living like this and that he needs to reach out to people which can be any of the new or old characters introduced or have michelle show up at his doorstep ready to raise hell

(if we go the kingpin route then mj will be reintroduced as a party girl who likes to dance at kingpin's clubs but is actually doing the groundwork for nelson and murdock investigator/lawyer mj so true)

the black suit is introduced in the after credits with johnny dropping it off after reed promised to fix it again depends on whether sm4 is after secrets wars and if he even makes an appearance in the show

for spider-man 5

peter and mj are desperately trying to fix their relationship but isn't really working because they don't know how to interact anymore because it is not like they had a regular break up and they don't know how talk without feeling like they are crossing boundaries

it is made worse because mj hates the black suit and feels like peter changes when he wears the suit and that he is way more aggressive wearing it but mj doesn't know how to fully address it because maybe he just changed during the time they were apart and when she does talk about he disagrees (and so does venom) and just have a huge fight and maybe his new friend felicia thinks he is just fine in his black suit ;)))

venom and mj hating each other is so important to me and the spider-man lore

but after overreacting to small time criminal peter realizes that mj was right and that he needs to get rid of suit which makes it end up with overworked bugle employee eddie who needs to needs to get dirt on spider-man/or if we go the kingpin route in the first film scorpion is the one who gets the symbiote

depending if they will push the ned is magic storyline i can see them going "the magic can bad" narrative with ned possible doing something detrimental for him and mj to get their memories because ned basically at best 5 years of memories and at worst over a decade of memories like that is gonna have some sort of reaction and we know memories are connecting with dark side so ned losing something to a devil/demon and we get hobgoblin for like a minute again it all depends on how we get memories back

spider-man 6

kraven the last hunt : the live action like i need panel for panel, word for word translated on screen like the impact that would have like i would commit multiple crimes to see that on screen

the spider-man loves a good parallel and throwback so i expect sm4 to be like homecoming and sm5 to be like far from home

this is probably way longer than you asked but spider-man makes me go brrrr

#asks #spider-man #ned is a suprisingly difficult character because there is so many optio #peter parker #michelle jones #spideychelle

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cocowebdesign · 1 year

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#cheap web design #website designer

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wisepuma23 · 3 years

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C!Tommy Isn't a Hero: An Inniter-Approved Meta

first off if this gets screen-shotted, I'd like to say I'm a goddamn Inniter <3

cw: canonical mentions of abuse, torture, trauma

we love analyzing the issues of morality on the DSMP and it's incredibly popular to portray c!Techno & c!Philza on the darker side of the scale. Listen this is a hard pill to swallow but heroes, actual heroes in literature and real life agents of change have to focus on Ideals™️ and conceptualizing the consequences to their actions beyond their personal circle of friends/family. Anybody on the DSMP that DOESN'T think about high-level concepts that require critical thinking, which lemme break that down, is POLITICS!

Some of you might already tune out but to be CLEAR: politics at the very foundation is strengthening empathy past your friends and family, your neighbors, and beyond your community.

c!Techno and c!Philza think about political ideologies like anarchy to solve problems for their community and for the larger DSMP as a whole like taking down oppressive political structures (yes, c!Tubbo and c!Quackity use both political & physical weapons to commit state violence) which includes New L'Manberg.

Techno and Philza, as the characters, actually show more empathy and understanding for others' pain and struggle because they understood that state violence and war crimes against their citizens (and non-citizens as well) is well,,,, BAD

And they put a stop to it! They were an agent of significant change! Right now the Syndicate is actually c!Techno and c!Philza working on making lasting change and making sure it doesn't happen again. They're morally grey like anyone else but holy shit they aren't villains? Like bruh what are you on??? They're people and make mistakes and they are miscommunications (bedrocks bros,,, tragic friendship my beloved </3) c!Tommy?? He's not like c!Wilbur, c!Tubbo, and c!Quackity, that's for sure. They are well aware of their actions and the consequences that may last longer than the scars on their skin. They weaponize their words and know that there are greater things that move people than just a crying friend. I'd argue they're darker than c!Tommy on the moral spectrum. I'm not even gonna talk about c!Schlatt lmao

However c!Tommy ISN'T a hero (thanks c!Wilbur propaganda) and he ISN'T a good person!!!! Guys if you miss those two key concepts about him, are we watching the same white boy? He has hurt people both friends and enemy, he clings to peace through stagnation, and focuses on sentiments/attachments.

It's a huge misunderstanding because normally traditional "heroes" are given those characteristics of caring about their friends and having cute items that define them.

But hey,,, this is the dsmp,,, where c!BBH is undeniably attached to Skeppy,,,, and c!Ponk and c!Sam are in love with each other even though they are directly opposed to each other, LIKE NOTHING IS CLEAR CUT HERE MOTHERFUCKER!!!

a quick post on canon relationships, my beloved

(cowards didn't even mention Ghostbur and Friend lol)

even c!Schlatt was married to c!Quackity, like yes it was abusive & toxic, but goddamn all the characters are people and they fall in love and have friends and they can order state executions and torture their lovers

c!Tommy isn't any different than anyone else on the DSMP, like wake up and smell the primes!!!! XD he isn't the only character that has friends & sentiments :D

What does make him different than the earlier characters I've mentioned is that he's DIRECTLY focused on friends & family, attachments/sentiments, he's more dangerous than mercenary c!Punz because his goals/motivations cannot be bought. C!Punz has a huge crush on Sam Nook and he does murder <3

c!Tommy is a morally grey character, sometimes he dips DARK like with torturing c!Fundy, his ignorance of Ideals is why he enabled c!Wilbur's power schemes, it's one thing to buy someone's help and another to be manipulated and believed with whole life and love. C!Tommy is an admirable character and his fatal flaw is his stubbornness.

C!Tommy can't be a hero,,,, because he never was one,,,, he doesn't bring significant AND lasting change, and he only cares about the direct impacts on his Loved Ones,,, and that was easy to support a Community when it was only four people. Now there's 30 total members on the DSMP and there's no more "easy" nation to consolidate his "loyalty" qualities under.

The biggest thing for C!Tommy right now wouldn't just be an Introduction to Political Science 101 class but also the character growth to let go. He has huge trauma connected to the themes of "change" and I'd like to see him heal by realizing it's possible to stop hurting others back. Thinking about larger political impacts of his actions would actually strengthen his empathy as it did for c!Wilbur, as he realized what he did was WRONG, and then decided to rectify it by destroying the weapon he made. L'Manberg.

I'd like to leave you all with the homework of what weapon c!Tommy had made ":)"

#c!tommy #dsmp analysis #tommyinnit #c!techno #mcyt #IM A BORN AND BRED INNITER #I THINK ABOUT WOMEN AND PRIMES #and I love Zablr a lot #even if they wanna kill me on sight sometimes lmao #zablr #also it legit irritates me whenever I see takes about c!Tommy as a hero #HOW DOES IT TASTE WITH THAT VILBUR PROPAGANDA??#he isn't a hero and Pogtopia Wilbur forced that title on him and basically spread misinformation about his ambitions #when really c!Tommy don't even care about politics and power lmao #i love him but pls expand ur empathy and compassion #ALSO PLEASE GO THROUGH A HEALING ARC #CC!TOMMY HAVE MERCY

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viscountessevie · 2 years

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They’re setting S3 up to flop—inexplicably—since they could’ve tried rehabbing the characters next season before S4. It’s bad: Penelope and Colin are both assholes and not even In a fun way. Penelope is a villainous loser; Colin is useless and a prick. Luke is tbh just not attractive and has negative charisma. Like that he’s going to be in the company of RJP and JB insults me personally. There’s no chemistry to speak of over two seasons. Their story is pretty sad/pathetic. And they’re following Kanthony. Whew lmao.

S3 will probably be like S2 in that Kate and Anthony will make it worth watching.

You CAME for Pelican's wigs, anon and damn I was taken back because you DID NOT hold back. Thank you for sending this in - it had me shook in the best way!!

You're very right, Pelican has become unbearable on the show. I agree with every word said about Penalty in this ask. She clearly is the villain but constantly victimises herself - I’m so sick of her schtick. These are no longer the characters from RMB anymore. However, I will refute that Colin isn't so much an asshole but an idiot - a racially ignorant one now after his first interaction in S2 with Will. It felt so charged with racial undertones, it left with a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, he tried to apologise for it with bringing Will customers but too little too late. He should have never talked to him that way in the first place.

While I used to bully (affectionate) Newts for not looking like a HR hero, but now I try not to put down his looks anymore it's not like he can control it. It was a mix of genes and the HMU this season who decided they needed to make him look homeless and got a bad tan from Beverly Hills. They did him so dirty this season. Aren't people coming from vacay supposed to look better??

I've talked about his lack of charisma on screen before: he is pretty sweet in interviews but doesn't shine on screen. More on that in this post and the exact snippet here for reference:

I think the smart decision would be to stick to the books order and just give Luke T his time to shine as Benedict in S3 - like Benny was just okay and a little creepy in his book but I didn’t know this as an S1 viewer and thought Luke T stole the show as Benny. He’s just so expressive and effortlessly hilarious, he definitely makes an impact every season with the limited time he’s got. So hopefully Luke T can join the ranks of RJP & Jonny next season - pick the right Luke, Shonda you can do this.

Like you said, S3 needs to be for Pelican to have a rehabilitation of their characters - Penalty NEEDS to do an apology tour or her redemption will mean nothing but these writers hate making their protags take accountability so I’m not holding my breath. Newts as Colin needs a glo-up - either commit to a full beard or yeet it, and get him a better hairstyle. Character wise, mans needs an interest, personality and arc that is his own and doesn’t revolve around Penalty and Greece. As for the chemistry bit, I don’t know how I feel about it tbh because in S1 it was kinda cute because we’ve all been there with an unrequited schoolgirl crush that we eventually get over. He also seemed to get along with her well enough. So I was pretty neutral and their chemistry wasn’t overwhelming me in a good or bad way for me to comment on last season. This season, coupled with the fact that she almost killed Marina, her crush is very creepy and obsessive and now it may be a bias against them but I do not see any chemistry at all.

Their book story was okay the overall plot was too 'perfect' and polished so they felt very superficial and their conflicts were silly. They lacked the depth some of the stronger couples of the series had (Kathony & Franchel babey - I haven’t read Hy & Greg’s books so cannot comment on those yet) Not to mention, the way he treated her in the books when he was jealous was problematic. I have no idea what they are gonna do for the show but I worry for his life. He's gonna fuck up one of these days and she's gonna fuck his shit up even more. As if imploding his first engagement and calling him stupid for it wasn't enough.

As much as I disliked 70% of the changes made to Book 2 and alll the stupid Featherington side plot screen time, the show as its own thing PEAKED this season. Jimone brought their A-Game and carried this season on their backs. The general audience ADORES them and they are going to be a tough act to follow not going to lie. Honestly I truly think Luke T’s Ben paired with an equally strong Sophie can pull it off! Someone call @sweetestviscount Lav's chiropractor, Kathony and Ben are gonna need him after carrying Pelican's season - may it be S3 or 4 (for everyone's sakes it better be in S4).

If S3 truly is about Pelican, I really want to send Shondaland a message and not watch it. I refuse to give them my views for making SUCH a bad decision and will probably pirate the season if my curiosity gets the better of me or as I’ve said in previous asks, I’ll just watch the YT scene compilations of Kathony and my other faves in S3.

#Bridgerton #Penelope Critical #Asks

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one-boring-person · 3 years

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Can You Do Me A Favour?

Barney Ross (The Expendables) x reader

Warnings: injury, drinking, sexual content implied, mentions of violence, swearing

Context: the reader is a member of the Expendables and has a crush on Barney. After a job, the two have some time together.

A/N: as promised, here is some Expendables stuff! I hope anyone who reads this will enjoy it! (Just a heads up: I have more Rambo and Escape Plan stuff coming, and most likely some more TLB content, too.)

Masterlist

(I'm also going to tag @yuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in this, because they expressed interest in Expendables stuff earlier😊💛)

The cold water is pleasant on my heated skin as I cup my hands under the steady stream flowing from the tap, splashing it into my face when a suitable pool has formed in the space. A gasp escapes me from the stark contrast in temperatures, using my fingers to rub slightly at my skin, trying to work out the headache that has set in, only to hiss when I accidentally press into one of the new scars on the side of my face. Pulling back, I repeat my action, doing my best to distract myself from the plaguing thoughts in my head, still disgusted at myself for having them.

But even now, as I massage the contours of my face, I can't get the images of my boss out of my head. Not the sight of him taking out a ring of attackers using his revolver and sharpshooting skills, not the way his exposed arm muscles flexed with each movement, not the determined look on his rugged face and certainly not the fierce eye contact he made with me when he turned around again. At the mere memory of this, a flush of heat goes through me, eyes squeezing shut to force myself to blank them out, not quite realising that his stare is branded into my subconscious. Biting my lip, I shake my head, forcing down the picture of his muscular body and large hands on my body as he dragged me from the collapsing building, not five hours ago.

Growling, I reach over and grab hold of the beer bottle nearby, glancing at my haggard features in the mirror before taking a deep drink, wincing at the stale flavour, having had the drink for far too long. I can see the tension in my body, each muscle tight and uncomfortable, my posture ramrod straight and clearly wrong, my eyes clouded with exhaustion and what I can only assume is loneliness.

As soon as I'd gotten in from the last job, I'd headed straight into the bathroom, grabbing a beer from the fridge as I went, needing to clear my head. Nothing I did could help, my head always circling back to that one person. Frustrated, I slam the bottle on the counter top, wincing when it shatters from the force, a particularly sharp shard slicing into my palm.

Damn him. Damn Barney Ross for getting into my head.

I clean up my hand, just bandaging it up when my phone buzzes, the screen lighting up. Frowning, I look over at it, confused. Nobody calls me. Nobody, except my boss.

Picking up the phone, I groan to myself as I realise it is, in fact, Barney. For a second, I debate letting it go to voicemail, before I finally give in, accepting the call and placing the phone to my ear.

"Sir?" I greet him politely, wondering what he needs.

"How many times have I told you not to call me "sir"?" Barney's gravelly voice sounds through the phone, a low chuckle evident in his tone. I have to ignore the effect his voice has on me, the sound giving me butterflies in my stomach.

"Sorry, sir- ah, shit." I sigh at my own habit, "You alright?"

"Yeah, guess so. Just lonely. Figured you might be, too." He admits, tone going soft as he speaks.

"Bold of you to assume that." I tease, but continue, "Though you are, as always, right."

"Should tell Christmas that, might listen to you." The veteran laughs again, the joke drawing a similar reaction from me.

"We all know he listens to no one but himself." I quip back, still waiting for him to tell me why exactly he called.

"True, true." Barney's grin is almost audible, my mind instantly bringing up an image of that particular expression into my head, much to my chagrin, "You got any plans for tonight?"

Surprised, I take a second to reply, unsure of where this is going.

"No, it's too late. Ain't really got many friends outside work, anyway." I inform him, going out of the bathroom and into the lounge.

"Fancy coming over? I've got a couple of beers that need drinking, and the hangar is pretty lonely this time of night."

His offer stumps me for a moment, though I am quick to recover, my mouth working before my mind can catch up.

"Yeah sure. I'll be over in twenty."

"Great. See you then." He hangs up, leaving me wondering why the hell I accepted that, knowing how much I spend too much time thinking about him (in totally inappropriate ways considering he's my boss) anyway.

Annoyed at myself, I steel myself before going and grabbing a coat, pulling on that and my boots as I leave the flat, taking my motorcycle keys with me. I lock my door behind me, leaving the apartment block quickly, glad to have the fresh air on my face as I make my way over to my motorbike. Looking on it fondly, I climb on and kick out the stand, easily getting it revved up, the vibrating engine beneath me a pleasant feeling.

Thankfully, the roads are mostly clear this time of night, cutting the twenty minute drive short by five minutes as I go at speed through the nearly deserted outer city. The hangar is usually a pain in the ass to get to, the traffic in the roads leading up to it almost always horrific, so I am only too happy to be able to go much faster now that there's not many other drivers around. With the wind rushing around me, I find that my head clears a little, my attention on navigating the roads rather than the thoughts of my boss doing things to me I'm sure he'd find grotesque in nature.

I arrive quickly, pulling into the hangar slowly, knowing Barney is most likely in the plane, as he usually is. Stopping the bike, I put it in park before climbing off, hanging my helmet on the handlebars as I do so, taking the keys with me as I walk over to the old plane. Nearing the aircraft, I frown a little at the sight of the new bullet holes riddling the side of it, unaware that we'd taken so much damage earlier in the day. Sighing, I go inside, ducking in through the small door, only now hearing the music playing from the stereo in the cockpit.

"It's gonna need a new lick of paint." I call out to Barney, who I can see sat in his seat, the muscular man turning to look at me as he hears me.

"It's been a long time coming, so I'm not complaining." He replies, grinning at me as I walk into the cockpit, dropping into Christmas' usual seat, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach from his stare on me again. As I enter, he rakes his eyes over my body, subtly taking my every curve in from where he is.

"Fair enough." I shrug, leaning back slightly, having missed his look, "Got a beer?"

"Yeah, here." Barney hands me a bottle, opening it for me as he does so.

"Cheers." I thank him, taking a deep drink from it as he chuckles lowly, voice sending a bolt of heat through me.

"You're starting to sound like Lee." He remarks, sipping his own bottle with a smirk.

"Should I take that as a compliment? Or an insult?"

"Up to you." He looks over at me.

"Eh, I'll take compliment. You two get along like an old married couple, after all. Must mean something if you're comparing me to him." I decide, teasing him.

Barney laughs at my comment, lifting his bottle.

"I can agree with that." He hums, staring out of the front window.

For a couple of moments, we sit in companionable silence, drinking our beers, Barney eventually lighting a cigar. Taking a deep inhale, he offers it to me, which I decline, choosing to finish my drink instead.

"What do you usually do after a job?" Barney suddenly asks, glancing back at me.

Surprised, I think over the question for a second.

"Nothing, really. I get myself cleaned up, have a drink, then get some sleep. I don't do much else with my life." I tell him, knowing how pathetic I sound.

"What, you haven't got anyone you can hang out with?" He questions, seemingly confused.

"No. As I said before, I don't really have any friends outside work."

"Really? No boyfriend? Girlfriend?"

I shake my head, grimacing at the turn in conversation, just missing the slight darkening in his eyes as he looks me over once more.

"Huh. That surprises me."

Lifting an eyebrow, I look across at him.

"Why?"

He shrugs, making eye contact with me.

"Well, you seem like the person who wouldn't struggle to make friends. You're kind, funny, pretty. You know how to behave in the right situations, you're a good friend to have." He clarifies, seemingly unaware of the impact his words have on me, my heart throbbing as I listen to him, longing building up in me again.

"You think so?" I ask, not quite believing him.

"Yeah, I do." He frowns, looking over at me, "Why, don't you?"

I don't reply, knowing my answer well. He doesn't push it, observing me carefully, his gaze making me blush furiously.

"What'd you do to your hand?" The veteran suddenly asks, gesturing to my bandaged appendage.

"Hm? Oh, I just cut it on some glass back home." I inform him, flexing my hand a little, only to wince at the sharp spike of pain.

Wordlessly, Barney reaches across and takes my hand in his, his touch setting off sparks through me despite the gentle nature of it. Pulling my arm closer to him, he runs his fingers lightly over my skin, the rough calluses rubbing over the palm of my hand, each stroke making it harder for me to fight off the rising need within me. Being this close to him, able to smell him in nearly every surface around me, feeling his hand on mine has sparked the feelings I've been suppressing as long as I've worked with him.

Awkwardly, I pull away, swallowing tightly, trying to suppress the urges I'm suddenly feeling, needing to get myself together again. He doesn't stop me, his dark eyes regarding me quietly, observant as always as he seemingly considers something, his gaze sliding over me once more. After a moment, he puts out his cigar, leaning back in his seat.

"Mind doing me a favour?" The muscular man cocks his head at me, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Er, sure? What do you need?" I agree hesitantly, knowing that expression means only one thing: he's got something up his sleeve.

"Check that control panel up there, would you? It's been giving me trouble for weeks." Barney's eyes are glittering now in the dim light, clearly up to something.

"What, now?" I frown, confused by the instruction.

"If you wouldn't mind."

Lifting an eyebrow, I place my beer down and get to my feet, awkwardly reaching up to check the panel, which just so happens to be right above his head. I try to keep my body from leaning across him too much, but this is made difficult when I realise that the particular problem lies in the switches even further over. As I go to flick them, a pair of hands takes hold of my waist, suddenly yanking me down towards the chair.

Yelping in surprise, I feel my eyes widen as Barney pulls me down onto his lap, hands tight on my hips, pressing my back flush against his chest. His nose instantly finds my neck, the older man nudging at my skin until I tilt my head to give him access, goosebumps spreading across my skin as I try to process what the hell is happening, my brain short-circuiting with every one of his breaths. They fan out over the sensitive area, my own hitching in my throat as his scruff scratches over my skin, his lips not quite touching me yet, though I can feel their every movement.

I try to get back up, unwillingly, only for him to loop one of his arms around my front and slip his hand under my shirt, flattening his palm on my stomach to hold me against him.

"I'm not blind, you know, (Y/n). I've seen the way you look at me, the way you behave differently when you're with me. You're not as subtle as you hope." Barney practically purrs into my skin, his smirk obvious against my neck, sending shivers down my spine as I try not to groan.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about, sir." I manage out, not quite catching the sound of anticipation that escapes me when he suddenly presses his lips against my ear, whispering into it.

"Really? I think you know very well what I'm talking about." He grins to himself, the hand on my stomach running down to ghost over the waistband of my jeans, my body tensing in his grip, "Want me to demonstrate for you?

#the expendables #The expendables imagine #Barney Ross #Barney Ross x reader #Barney Ross imagine #Sylvester Stallone

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nesonkin · 2 years

Note

HENLO :> i also feel like voltron did the coalition, rebel fighters and everyone in general dirty ;/ I WANNA HEAR YOUR REBEL FIGHTERS HEADCANONS SINCE CANON GAVE US NOTHING :D_ _

Emergency edit: So, my idiot ass accidentally posted this before I actually had the chance to finish the draft so think of it as part 1. So sorry about this...

[Second part]

WARNING: Long post

First of all, I am incredibly sorry about how long it took me to reply to you. The day I recieved this question I was very happy and excited that someone asked me about it and you truly made my day.

Although, I realized that my own headcanon lore wasn't exactly polished or properly thought out and I decided to delay with the answer to give you one that would be satisfying. In the process I lost my interest so the post would remain in my drafts for god knows how long.

But suddenly my interest came back to me so here I am.

It's going to be interesting answering this question given how little content we have of the rebels. So, when I try to think of headcanons it just becomes its own alternative universe exactly because I would have to fill the giant gaps in the Voltron Coalition lore.

Before I begin, I should probably clarify what my stances on canon and fanon are.

For one, while I see the appeal of Shiro x Matt it does not interest me as a romantic ship. I see and prefer them as shitty best friends, therefore if anyone expects romantic Shiro x Matt in this post they'd probably be dissappointed. (Same with Matt x Keith)

I also won't try to alter the canon events and only modify certain parts that were never elaborated on in canon. That's just how I prefer to handle these things.

This will incorporate the off-screen explanations and backstories for specific characters (Olia, N-7) both of which come from the Word of God.

Last but not the least, I am not particularly interested in the Voltron side of things (despite the series being literally named after it) so don't expect me talking about the paladins. But I will be talking about the impact that the Voltron has on the rebel fighters because it is pretty fucking huge.

More under the cut

I should clarify that this post is half me breaking down the canon lore and half me theorizing, headcanoning. I believe it helps provide context for some of my headcanons that I have.

Most of my headcanon lore relies on the timeline thing I made a year ago.

Unfortunately, it's still too vague to have any coherent story with this group. But on the bright sight, it just means that I can do whatever I want with the content that we do have!

First thing to consider is that Galra has been ruling over the galaxy for over 10,000 years. 10,000 years in human terms would be from the Middle of Stone age to the current era. And that is without the alien intervention. It is more likely that the Galra Empire would try to stop any kind of development of the species whose planets they've colonized. To prevent any chance of any of them becoming strong/smart enough to fight back.

One planet in particular could be Kythra. It's a planet inhabited by desert tribes from which Te-Osh supposedly originates from.

The point I want to make whilst talking about the Galra Empire is how much of a cultural and technological impact they have on the galaxy. While it's true that they also steal and appropriate creations of other species (Olkarion), it would be naive to think they wouldn't force their ways and culture onto every planet they colonize.

This is why Space Mall is kind of ridiculous... and just overall confusing. It doesn't seem to be properly owned by the Galra even though Varkon works as security. But it's no longer the Unilu owned place either. One of the unilu traders notes that his shop existed long before the empire was created meaning that the empire does have influence over the Space Mall. But it's just... a casual place where every species can just hang out and shop? What on Earth even is this place? Because it's not governed by the Galra Empire as evident by the fact that the paladins were able to freely show their presentation about Voltron with no one going after them. It's like a giant bubble where everyone forgets that the Galra fucking enslaved everyone. Such a weird place. Imagine a clearly popular hang out place in the Star Wars universe where everyone can just shop for whatever they want and there's never going to be any conflict and the Empire isn't going to attack it either. This is the Space Mall.

Well, enough with this nonsense and let's just move on.

The Space Mall episode did make me think of something interesting though. So, you'd think every race would have their own measurement system, right? Like how we have the Imperial measurement system and the normal one. Yet, they use the altean (or whatever it's called) one. It's likely that in the old days when the alliance still existed they had a universal measurement system. So, it only makes sense that the Galra Empire would impose the system on every planet they colonize. Which is why every species we see in the show uses it instead of something else.

The reason I'm bringing up the Galra influence at all is that I've developed this headcanon that is a sort of a workaround for the "All aliens speak English" trope. Because naturally you wouldn't understand another species due to the language barrier. I imagine Galra scientists would develop a translator chip for every prisoner, slave, citizen of a colonized planet etc. They'd implant those in others but make sure they configure it in a way that only translates Galra language. To make it impossible for prisoners/slaves of different species to communicate potentially leading to uprising.

To counter that I imagine rebel fighters repurpose it as international translators. With time they learn how to create some themselves. Which is how such a diverse group of people can understand each other. With N-7 being the exception because she's an AI and doesn't need one.

It's one idea I've come up with but admittedly it does contradict the canon lore. Because the trope of aliens speaking English is just there with no explanation. Still, I like my idea regardless.

Getting the actual timeline of the rebel fighters is difficult. There's no clear evidence to pinpoint the exact time the faction was created or even began to assemble. Rolo in S1 refers to them as the lucky few who haven't been enslaved yet. Signaling that they had a very minor presence in the galaxy. Or that Rolo was ignorant. Or lying. Hard to rely on his words. They've definitely existed before the Kerberos crew was captured. Moreover, Remdax and Vakala have been stationed on the Icy planet for 5 years and judging by the fact that their resources were soon to be depleted it wasn't their first year.

Rebels were likely formed after a long period of time starting out as small rebellion groups on planets conquered by the Galra Empire as it was expanding. With Galra officers taking prisoners across the galaxy an effort was made to communicate with other groups hence the diversity.

I like to imagine Unilu people would be exceptionally helpful for that considering they're one of the few races from the old days that still exist and thrive. They traversed the galaxy for many years and probably knew many languages. Which solves the problem of a language barrier. I'd say they're the second most populated race in this show.

One of them is actually a member of the rebel forces.

Remember this fella? Who never talked once in the series at all? Or ever been referred to? Well, I named them Gus. For no particular reason, I just look at them and go "Hmm, yes, this is Gus." VLD never named them so I have to do it myself. I HC them as agender and mute. They seem to make good use of the gestures, emotions and body language and considering we've never heard them speak this headcanon generated on its own. With 4 hands I imagine Unilu Sign Language to be very rich and extensive.

I like to think they were Matt's cellmate when he was a galra prisoner. In their spare time Gus was teaching Matt the unilu sign language so they could communicate somehow. And them being cellmated is partly why Matt was rescued by the rebels. Because Gus was already a rebel fighter and their goal was simply sabotaging the prisoner ship to set the stage for the rebels (Note: Matt was not with the rest of the prisoners from the Arena because he was sent to the working camps due to his injury).

Eventually Matt and Gus would become very good friends. Matt, being a fast learner, would learn Unilu Sign language and use the simplified version of it in case he ever needed to communicate with Gus without vocalizing anything.

As for less story important headcanons I like to imagine that Gus likes to draw with pastels and chalks. They're a little mischievous and generally optimistic which is why they it doesn't take a lot of time for them to get along with Matt. They have absolutely no regard for authority but loyal to those who prove themselves to be competent and fair. Which doesn't happen often. They are very expressive with facial expressions and body language.

For more references on Gus see this post.

That's as much as I've got on Gus so far. I like thinking of the kind of friendship that they would have with Matt. But let's move to another character important to Matt.

Te-Osh is a character that we see saving Matt from his prison cell and later get to meet her in Season 4 where she gives up her life to make sure she can deliver the medical supplies. It's implied that she was very close to Matt.

The term that was used to describe society on her home-planet is interesting. "Tribe" is an anthropological term that has long been assosiated with "savagery" and "primitiveness". There are a lot of harmful connotations related to this term which this article explains better than I could ever do. Besides all of that the term is simply confusing and barely represents what kind of society Kythra people have on their planet. I'm not sure if the writers were aware of all of this or if the "primitiveness" was the intended purpose. My best guess is that their society was still on the developing stage which the Galra Empire took advantage of and decided to interfere (just like certain countries did back in the days).

But let's move on.

Te-Osh gives me big mom vibes. I headcanon that she was a mother figure to Matt before he was transfered to a listening outpost. In my "lore" she's also a very competent fighter who's been training Matt and teaching him the survival tactics, and just taking care of him in general. Talking to him about complicated matters of war and making sure he's not going to do something stupid out of naivety and inexperience. She feels strongly about the rebellion which in combination with her somewhat short temper can result in lots of heated conversations with others. Especially with one sort of original character. But more on that later. She's an important memeber of her respective rebel cell being a local mom and all. I imagine her death took a big toll on many of her fellow officers and, of course, Matt. It's a little weird how they hinted her and Matt being close but we never see Matt's on screen reaction to learning of her passing. But oh well.

Wiki also mentions how she is a skilled pilot so there you have it.

And speaking of moms, it's about time I mention Captain Olia.

A member of the canine-like species and a competent rebel pilot. What is there not to love? She actually does have a backstory which you can read more about here.

Ha! Another confirmation that the rebellion didn't just start with the appearance of Voltron. Although, this still leaves some questions. Like, what were Olia and her husband doing exactly before starting a family? Humanitarian aid? Combat? Mechanic services? One of them has to be correct. My bets are on the mechanic services like fixing up ships and such. While Olia's duties could be transportation. Hence the flying skills.

Tbh this article did save me some mental energy. Because I don't have to think of everything myself. She was given a backstory via the Word of God and I'm more than thankful. But I'm still wondering if Omegaverse is considered a default for fictional works on her home planet.

Unfortunately, we haven't seen any proper interactions between her and Matt so it's harder to tell what kind of relationship they have but what we do know is that Matt does respect her authority. And that Olia cares about him enough to be present during his reunion with the family.

I believe it's safe to say their rebel party is a proper found family for Matt when he was separated from his biological one.

As a person Olia seems to be very laid-back and confident but not falling behind in profanity department lol

Her quick thinking during battle has saved the coalition more than once and it's a shame she had no speaking role in S8.

Being a mother she has an unique perspective on the rebellion. She understands more than anyone what it feels like having to leave your loved ones to fulfill your duty. And that understanding gives her sympathy towards those who do not want to join the fight against the Galra even if they can. Unlike Te-Osh, she is not concerned with ideals or bigger picture and prefers to stay focused on what she can do to contribute to the rebellion without losing touch with her family.

I think her and Matt met for the first time in S4 on Olkari after visiting the Castle of Lions. Making Matt a part of her crew and having Matt reunite with other rebels he knew from Kraydah Moon (but to be honest I doubt they've always been stationed there as it's more likely they've moved between different bases to remain hidden from the Galra Empire). Including his good buddy Gus, big man Ozar and N-7.

If you don't remember who Ozar is it's the big blue guy with a spiky hat. He also fucking died in S8 but the only part of S8 that exists is Hunk and Keith's carnival date so we're just gonna ignore that.

He seems to have the highest rank amongst the rebel fighters as evidenced by his commanding attitude. He is described to be the link between Voltron and the rebel fighters. He actually reminds me of the Miran race from DaiRugger/Vehicle Voltron (which we know are now canon to vld universe because of the epilogue) because of his blue skin and pointy ears. Now if only he lacked eyebrows...

There's not a lot of info on Ozar at all but because his VA also voiced Jake from Adventure Time my brain couldn't stop associating the two making them similar in personality. Except Ozar doesn't have ADHD.

I believe his age and experience gives him a lot of authority which most officers seem to respect. He would take the role of organizing important missions and managing diplomatic relations. Something Te-Osh usually stays away from because of the overall frustration that comes with it. Therefore, if you ever needed a permission to do something Ozar would be the guy to ask for it.

Ozar is pretty chill and likes to make jokes to brighten the mood during his off duty hours. And he wouldn't mind telling a story or two about his time with the rebellion. He keeps his chill even during the most extreme situations as he needs his cool head to command his squad in battle. Doesn't take risks he knows to be futile and would rather fail the mission than to lose more people to this war.

Of the relatives he has a granddaughter whom he keeps safe with the people he trusts because she lost her parents to the Galra Empire.

You can see him as the space grandpa.

He was asked to watch over N-7 by Mary Ann (the sort of OC I mentioned earlier).

Now, here's where I'm taking some liberty with the universe by creating a new race. Which are the descendants of the same race that Trigel was a member of. Because just like some Alteans managed to escape Zarkon's genocide it's not baseless to say that Trigel's people also managed to stay hidden from the Galra Empire and also further evolve into a race I'm about to introduce.

Caspians. They populated the planet Caspia. Over the years they've made some significant technological advancements which resulted in the destruction of the local environment. They've tried to take steps to reduce the effects before eventually leaving the planet. Still, many decided to stay and preserve what was left and continue their effort to restore the environment. Those who left eventually became who are now known as Olkarion people. Those who stayed focused on developing terraforming technologies and preserving their last bits of the lost culture.

One person in particular grew up to become a robot science genius. That being a woman named Mary Ann. She was originally a DotU II character which is why I wouldn't call her a fully original character. She appears in the episode "Take a Robot to Lunch" and gives the paladins a new perspective on war. She is a stubborn pacifist who has strong opinions about war and violence. Mary Ann used to contribute to the war effort by building robots until her creations began to be used as a weapon against innocent people. Which cemented her decision to leave and give up science for good. She scolds the paladins for how they just use more violence to solve problems but learns that combat is not all they do by the end of the episode. That's a quick summary of her character in DotU.

I decided to incorporate her into vld universe because she interested me. And because if someone created N-7 it had to be her.

In my lore Caspians had little to no interactions with the Galra Empire due to their beneficial location away from the Empire's grasp. Mary Ann, being a promising robot scientist, decided to leave the planet to pursue her curiosity about the galaxy and find resources which she can use to build even better machines. That way she ends up learning about the state of the galaxy and joining the rebel fighters providing them with technologies to help the war effort. It's how she eventually meets Te-Osh and Ozar. As a side project she begins the development of a software to help with automation of certain tedious tasks and data analysis. It's later being used to help analyze the radio chatter and collect all the necessary data. For convenience she would later develop a proper user interface which laid down roots for the development of an AI in the image of her people who was meant to develop their own identity. This is N-7 (get it? Ann seven?). It ended up being something personal to Mary Ann while she began to notice how her creations are being used to cause more harm than good. For example when the Galra troops steal devices of her design and repurpose it into weapons of destruction. And if that wasn't enough her own allies would use the same devices to cause destruction in the name of justice and goodness. Mary Ann would develop distaste for the methods her allies used to achieve their goals which put her at odds with Te-Osh. Because for Te-Osh not fighting back meant allowing the oppression to happen. So, when you put two headstrong individuals with opposing values against each other it rarely results in anything good. Mary Ann wouldn't put up with being used like that and decided to leave the rebellion. N-7, now learning more about the world around her, refused to come with because she "felt" the responsibility to stay and help as that was the whole reason she was created in the first place. Understanding of the decision Mary Ann parted ways with her "daughter".

I wanted Mary Ann and Te-Osh to develop a strong and close relationship (a romantic one maybe?) before Mary Ann's departure. To make things more frustrating for both of them when they eventually come to a point where their beliefs can no longer coexist without causing any more drama and conflicts (their beliefs CAN coexist but by this point they're too stubborn to realize it).

I also decided to use her character to explain Matt's behavior in S05E01 when he found something or someone in a prison cell which made him late AND extremely pissed off. So, imagine after leaving the rebellion she gets captured by the Galra and put into Lotor's prison for scientists (a plot from the DotU episode where Haggar tried to capture Marry Ann to make her build robots for their army). I don't see her willingly doing anything for the Galra so instead she would try to sabotage the research admittedly making it worse for every other prisoner because they have to receive punishment because of something she did. So, you can say no one likes her.

And here comes Matt. My poor son just trying to rescue his father. Opening up the last cell in the facility. His last hope. Only to find an unfriendly woman who not only refuses Matt's rescue attempts but scolds him when she recognizes the uniform he's wearing. Matt being late could be explained as him simply arguing with Mary Ann who refuses to go with him. And his unexplained uncharacteristic anger could be the result of the argument that took place where she openly expresses her distaste for his new found family and maybe even name-drops Matt's deceased mother figure (albeit unaware of her status). And here we go! It ties to Matt's own off-screen story and provides a possible explanation for what the hell did he see in that stupid cell.

So, Matt leaves her to fend for herself and they separate. And Matt is understandably pissed but refrains from talking about it because it’s of no one’s concern. But Mary Ann’s story doesn’t end here. Because I was planning to bring her back later after Voltron disappears and the timeline enters its 3 years time skip period. To have her apologize to Matt for what she said and realize she may have been wrong about the rebel fighters after all. And to have a proper reunion with N-7 who has developed beyond Mary Ann’s imaginations. She joins the coalition to help out her own way not with violence but with means of protection.

And that’s pretty much it for her.

And now we get to a character, whom I admittedly thought about more than others. Welp, not my fault I’m so into robot/AI characters.

It's a rebel fighter who was theorized to be Romelle, Keith’s mom, a druid and even Merla? All of which turned out to be wrong. Because she’s just an AI and not really as important as we thought she would be. As with Olia, this character has some off-screen explanation by the Word of God and can you see more in this article.

It's something, but it's merely a confirmation that she was an AI and that what we saw of Matt and her in S7 and S8 wasn’t just us hallucinating. The rest is for us to think of.

So, as mentioned above she's an AI developed by Mary Ann who over the course of the development started to consider N-7 her daughter. N-7 is constantly learning new things about the world as she's getting more hardware upgrades thanks to all new resources Mary Ann was able to get her hands on. To properly articulate her thoughts N-7 would also learn to use body language (often by mimicking Mary Ann, Te-Osh and Ozar to some extent, eventually developing her own system).

Her early work for the rebels mostly consists of data analysis and assisting comm specialists, but would later extend to supply/vehicle/inventory management and some occasional medical assistance whenever a doctor needed additional help. She would also pick up combat as having self-defense skills is important for any rebel officer. Most importantly, sometime after Mary Ann's departure N-7 would provide her assistance for the radio listening team. Because she was able to make the job easier there was no longer a need for a team of people on that job. It wasn't taken positively because all it meant was that those who were left without a job likely had to join the offensive forces which most couldn't do due to their physical or otherwise psychological limitations. This in turn would lead to the development of a system of listening outposts that N-7 could operate. Keeping track of every agent, their designated location and information recorded in their respective area. The more complicated the system was getting the more operators were required. Especially with how fast the coalition would grow in s4. So, eventually the system wouldn't need N-7 as the head operator anymore allowing her to join Olia's crew.

I still can't quite figure out what her role is in Olia's ship but I'm assuming it's something like keeping the ship in tact and making sure all systems are taken care of. I do like to think her contribution to the rebellion begins to take more proactive turn after joining Olia. Like taking part in ground missions and such. Which also opens her to new connections and perspectives.

As for determining her personality it's a little tricky. Because it always downs on me that I'm just creating another EDI (why must one fictional AI lady be so good) whenever I approach the subject of AI characters. But here I go.

She's cold and rational as you would expect. And can get into trouble with other people because of her acting out of logic and what makes sense while that isn't necessarily something that someone needs or wants. So you can get the occasional breaking of boundaries. But she also tries to understand human (or alien) psychology to make sense of the interactions happening around her (well I guess we do be entering the autistic thinking territory). It's how she understands that Matt openly freaking out the first time they meet is not a sign of a personal attack but simply his post traumatic brain acting up when he's faced with someone who reminds him of the Galra droids. Her speech patterns are descriptive and straight to the point and her body language is pretty nonchalant and distinguished. N-7 may be an AI, but she does "feel" things in her own way. Through a complicated system of priorities and signals meant to recreate chemicals in our brains. And while it's not something organics can truly relate to is it fair to deem her perceptions less "real" than that of organics? And it's that way she evaluates her viewpoint of the rebellion and decides that she has the responsibility to help people because she can and because her abilities can save lives in the long run. It simply makes sense for her to stay and help.

I will conclude the first part here, but I hope all of that wasn't a bit too much to deal with (;ŏ﹏ŏ) especially with how abrupt the ending is...

[Second part]

#vld #voltron #rebel fighter #freedom fighters #voltron coalition #te-osh #unilu rebel #olia voltron #n-7 #ozar voltron #fuckduckfuckficlctiock #matt holt #long post #mary ann dotu

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is-nini · 3 years

Text

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 1

Title: Being sucked in

A/n: I'm not sure how long this.. story will take but i will try my best to keep it entertaining.. this story is about you, being sucked into genshin world, this is part 1.. please enjoy. Leave a comment or suggestion.. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Today is another normal day, nothing is really out of the ordinary, the sky is a little bit cloudy but you don't mind, you think that the wind blowing against your hair is very nice as you walk towards your school. You walked inside, stopping Infront of the locker to the entrance to fix your stuff and take your schedule until you felt a presence beside you.

"oh, hello sidia".

You greets one of your sleepy friend, she just let's out a 'hmm' and a nod while looking through her locker, not even giving you an eye contact. sidia has always been like this, she never really made an eye contact towards you but she still shows that she has some of her attention towards you.

"good morning".

Your other friend, Chelz Lee, let's out a mutter to the both of you, Chelz is more talkative then Sidia, you met them maybe a couple of years ago. they're a very talented artist and are a very interesting friends to be around with.

"what's up guys".

You too greet them without looking at their eye, you take your books out and proceed to take a peak at Sidia's schedule.

"oh? Mathematics on the first hour? Goodluck".

You snicker and slap her shoulder a little bit, she stares at you uninterestedly with her sleepy eye and started to walk away, letting you stare at her black low ponytail hair.

You giggle and take a peak at Chelz's schedule. Art. her first lesson for today seems fun you thought sighing at the sight of your first schedule that reads 'science'.

Chelz already went half way to catching up to Sidia before she looks back at you as if asking you to join them and you did. You jog towards her, taking her hand and started to jog towards Sidia either.

"how are you both?".

You ask them both while fixing the books on your hand and looking at your shoes to check the lace.

"depressed".

Sidia answered, you make a 'uhuh' sound feeling used to her answers. Chelz stroke her short wavy black bangs out of her eyes and use her black glasses and start to read her novel. Her black short hair blows a little because of the wind.

"fine".

She answered you, yawning and stretching her arms out beside her. You and the rest of your friend said goodbye to eachother and proceed to go to your different ways.

You went inside your class. As usual people are in teams, some are in teams for fun, some are in teams for checking today's lesson.

You take a one seat beside the window and wait for the teacher to come inside the classroom.

The lesson went on as usual, smoothly even, you did your homework andd the score that you got on yesterday's test is not bad, B is not a bad grade. You take out your binder and put the paper's that you got in to the binder.

Going home is the best thing about the day. You and Chelz are chatting away about until you guys cane across a gaming store.

"ou? A gaming store".

Sidia said, catching yours and Chelz attention. Chelz look at that place very seriously, squinting her eye.

"...since when is there a gaming store here- y/n!".

She was very suspicious of this place, she doesn't remember any gaming store around here... And if there is one opening soon it should be the talk of the school. in short Chelz was suspicious but you, being a gaming enthusiast decided to check it out, thinking maybe they have a good and cheap open world game.

"... She's crazy".

Sidia chuckled. She took Chelz arm, snapping her out of her suspicious state and drag her towards the gaming store.

"yo- sidia i don't wanna die".

"well i do. So let's go".

And with that the both of them followed you in.

The store looks very cool.. it's like you're in a different world. The ceiling's wallpaper is made out of galaxy like drawing and the light bulb was covered with another ball that is drawn to match with the different planets on the solar system.

"welcome to the store how may i help you".

A girl that looks like in her mid 20 greets the both of you, she have short black hair and a green uniform and a little pin on the breast part of her uniform spell out 'katheryne'. Which you assume was her name.

"hello! I was wondering do you have any open world game?".

You instantly ask her, not caring about the suspicious store, you don't even care about the insides of the place. You just wanted to play a open world game that's full of interesting stuff. The girl name katheryne hums in understanding and goes behind the table to look for a game you requested. Chelz grabs your hand and shout whisper to you.

"this place is creepy y/n. Let's get out of here".

Chelz scold you, you sigh and looks at her calmly shaking your head no.

"it's fine, were fine, what's the worst thing that could happen?".

You whisper back with a lighter tone. Really you don't care if this place comes out of nowhere you just want your game, you're smiling stupidly while waiting for the girl.

"anywayyy if anything happened, Sidia is here, she'll be able to protect us using her fighting style knowledge thingy".

Sidia scoffed and fold her arms, looking at you as if you're crazy.

"i will leave you alone and save myself".

You laugh and was about to slap her back when she holds your hand and rolls her eyes at you.

"such a tsun tsun".

You laugh out, she slowly and gently let your hand away. From the corner of your eye you can see katheryne walking towards the counter. You immediately jump and went towards her.

"this is the only open world game that i found".

She said, you look at the weird japanese like word, assuming it was the title you try to read what is said.. you don't understand it but the design was cool though.

"this is a open world game called genshin impact. I will not spoil the story but i think this game might be the game you're looking for".

Her confidence is seeping in on your game needy state so you decided to purchase it, not thinking twice. Sidia face palm while Chelz just sigh, feeling tired of your hot headed act.

"it will be 2$".

You felt giddy, you can't help it. It's cheap and is a open world game, that is a steal. After taking your stuff, the both of your friend immediately pull you away from the store.

"okay y/n. You got what you need, that place is sus i tell ya".

Sidia said, Chelz nods her head and fix her black glasses, she stare at you while furrowing her eyebrows.

"you gotta stop doing reckless thing. Who knows what that place is".

You sigh and nod, rolling your eye. You giggle anyway and put the game in front of you.

"i know.. but were safe! I wanna try and play it when i get home".

Sidia and Chelz just sigh, what can they do anyway. On the way home you and your friends goes on your own separate way as usual, you jog towards your home, feeling giddy to play the new game.

You take a bath, and goes straight to your computer, opening the plastic wrapper on the game. You insert the disc and started to wait for the loading screen.

And oh gosh.. isn't it pretty, the cutscene the art. Everything. So the game basically tells you about the story of two traveller, who was travelling from world to world until suddenly a mysterious god appears, took one of the twins and take away the other twins power, and now you're playing as the twin who was looking for their missing sister.

You look at the wishing button, tempted to wish for a character, you decided to pull. Expecting a cool banner of the current character instead, you're greets by a white screen.

"hm.. should i restart it?".

You mumble to yourself, nodding in agreement at your words, you close the disc and pulls out the game from your computer. You take a nearby wipe and wipe the back disc gently and then put it back in on the computer.

The game is launching when suddenly you felt a huge and sudden headache comes over you.

"ugh-!".

You groan, gosh.. maybe it's because you have been staring at the screen for too long.. you thinks as a bumping headache keeps going at you.

While waiting for the game you decided to lay back a bit, rest your eyes and head.. this headache is not going away anytime soon if you keep waiting and staring at the screen.

Before you reach the bed, your body stumble forward and fall on to the floor, cannot control any part of your body you close your eyes and your mind went blank.

A darkness is all that you see.. a darkness is all that you're in.. you remember that the last time you are in your bedroom, playing genshin until a huge headache wave over you. Now that you're sense's is back something felt wrong.. you can tell you are laying on something.. it's not comfy but it's still felt quite nice.

You opened your eye slowly and look around the place, groaning as you stare at the half blue and half white wall. You look at your bed and this bed looks like one of the hospital bed..... Wait hospital bed?! You instantly look around frantically where the heck are you?!

"oh you're awake!".

A gentle calm voice echoed throughout the room. That voice sounds familiar.. you turn around and saw a girl with a nurse hat and a white dress, her cream coloured hair is put in a ponytail... Barbara?!.

You stare at her unbelievably. Act cool.. act like.. like a human.. yeah!. You think to yourself. You know this girl.. this girl is the free 4 star character that you'll get once you reach a certain level. Okay y/n.. play it cool.. just act like you don't know this place.

"why.. am i here?".

You look at the girl, she seems nervous to be around you ... Which is normal maybe. She walked beside you and take a cup of empty glass beside you and pour a pitcher full of water inside the glass half full and then take them, offering the glass to you.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

A/n; GOD I'm so sorry it took a long time, i hope the 'cliffhanger' makes sense...? But! Thankyou for reading! I am working on part 2 so more will be incoming!!!

#genshin fanfiction #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #genshin diluc #genshin zhongli #genshin albedo #genshin childe #genshin fluff #genshin impact

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thekingdomofelfhame · 3 years

Text

Jurdan Fanfic: Highschool AU Part 1

Summary: Much to Jude's annoyance and surprise, she and Cardan have been paired for a school project. Cardan's feelings, on the other hand, continue to blossom when he arrives at Jude's apartment only to witness something beyond his comprehension.

Warnings: Mild cursing

This will be an alternative between Cardan and Jude POV just to get a good look at how their feelings develop.

Cardan POV:

She keeps staring at the ring enclosing her finger, her gaze never shifting to the notes scattered on her dressing, her walnut eyes intense with emotion. She kept humming the same tune over and over, her voice as smooth and soft as butter as she traced invisible patterns on her ruby studded ring, its bright red colour magnifying the beauty of her hand.

I had never seen her like this: bursting with emotions. Standing before me was the same girl who lived in impenetrable walls, walls that I had been trying to overcome only to lead us down a path of hatred. She was the girl of steel, no titanium, and yet she melted away like snow in early spring when no one was around.

Her voice echoes in the room which-surprise, surprise- is a mess of pillows and papers. This girl had been haunting my dreams since sophomore year but my foolish imaginations were nothing compared to the beauty that stood before me and when she starts vocalizing, I swear my heart skips a beat.

As she turns to pick up her phone, her eyes find mine and I am robbed of the melodious voice that had filled this room a few seconds ago. I am pretty sure I see her eyes swimming in tears but she immediately blinks them away. She has trained herself well.

I hadn't even realized she was in her bathrobe until she stopped singing and am left with her perfectly masked yet startled cuteness when she becomes aware of her current state.

"Why'd you stop?" I say clearly disappointed, "your voice is beautiful"

"Weren't you supposed to be here at 11 30?", she says completely ignoring what I just said, tightening her robe around her.

"I clearly said I'd be at your place by 11", my eyes skim over her robe and am pleased to see her cheeks flush with colour as I say, "maybe I'll make a habit of coming early"

"How'd you even get in?"

"Your roommate let me in and, oh, she told me to inform you that she will be staying with her boyfriend for a while"

"Wow. She and Van are really speeding things up", there a short pause that feels like eternity before she says, "Okay, now could you go wait in the lounge while I get ready?", she says and something tells me she is not asking. Though I would very much prefer to stay, I obey her orders for she is The Queen of my heart.

Jude POV:

I walk out of the room, no longer dripping, and am utterly surprised to find Cardan lounging on the white sofa, one of his legs draped over the arm rest. He looks...comfy.

I think about the way he was looking at me in awe when I found him leaning against my door, his dark black eyes peering into mine. I had never seen him so captivated. How long had he been standing there?

Your voice is beautiful...

His words ring in my ears and I can't help the faint pink rising on my neck. Cardan Greenbriar had complimented me; that was a first. I was surprised he didn't make fun of me just like he has been since the day I set foot into school. He didn't mock me as he usually would, seeing my emotional outburst. This was Cardan Greenbriar, the most spoiled rich kid who never gave a fuck about anyone.

I had never once let anyone past my defenses, not even my family, foster or not. No one knew about this small world of mine and I liked to keep it that way. That is, until today when I saw a pair of iridescent coal black eyes bewitching me into wanting to tell him everything about this tiny world I had created where I would doze off to whenever I wished. That was when reality hit me and I was reminded of why I had lived in an armour for so long, why I had never let anyone get close to me.

I snap out of my thoughts when Cardan interrupts, "Like what you see, huh?". I scoff and I didn't realize I had been staring at him as he further added, "Should we get on with the project or are you gonna stand there all day, thinking about me?"

"Asshole. You wish", I snap right back at him and he lets out a soft laugh as I go through his notes.

We had agreed on double-checking each other's notes before we started the project, and by the looks of it, we had a lot of work to do. Surprisingly, Cardan's notes were not only correct and authentic, they were thorough and much more organized than mine. He had even used fancy words like serendipity- I mean what does that even mean?

"Jude, I think some of your notes are missing", he says raising his black brows and a book with torn pages.

"Oh, yeah. The torn notes are in a green file right over there", I gesture to the stack of books behind him as he leans over to find it only to frustrate me further when he says, "Uh, Jude. There is no file here".

"It should be there. It cannot go anywhere", I stand up and walk towards the mountain of books.

That was when I realized my foot is asleep and I stumble over a book, covering my face with my hands, ready for impact. Only I don't hit the ground; instead I feel arms slide around my waist and when I remove my hands from my face, the first thing I see are Cardan's eyes partially covered by his black locks.

I almost get lost in the moment. The world stops when he runs his hand through his hair as if he is nervous and he stares back at me. That is, until I remember who he is.

Ughhh....

"Looks like you're falling for me, Jude", he teases.

I abruptly push him off of me and start looking for the notes. Despite my foot still being asleep, I try to walk as if nothing happened but the bastard still notices.

"Here. Let me help you", he reaches for my hand but I stop him with a gesture and he does.

Looks like my defiance all these years really did have an effect on him.

"If you want to help, start by looking for a green file. It is unlabeled, no fancy decorations what so ever"

"What else to expect from the boring Jude Duarte"

"Well, at least I am not like one of those stupid girls who are so easily charmed by you"

"Did you just say I am charming?"

"Fuck off"

"Okay, okay", he raises his arms in defeat and I go to my room to look for the file. My eyes shift to the scattered notes over my bed and my dressing and my carpet.

Shit.

This is going to take longer than I thought.

Cardan POV

As I search through her notes, my thoughts keep drifting to the moment I had her in my arms, her body fitting right into my hands. I battled with the urge to get lost in her deep brown eyes or to drop a kiss on her cute nose.

No, no, no. Stop.

Wine. I needed wine. I needed wine right now.

Jude hated me and I should hate her. She was the one person who had refused to let me get my way and would continue to do so. She could never want someone like me, let alone love. This was just a project and as soon as it would finish, we would go our separate ways.

And yet, I cannot help but think about her all the time.

Jude POV

I return to the lounge drenched in sweat, panting and gasping for air. I had been rummaging in my room for the past hour and had finally found that file.

I slam the file onto Cardan's face and he doesn't dare reply when he sees my tired state. I sink into the sofa, one hand covering my eyes the other blindly searching for the glass of water on the front table.

"What happened to you?", Cardan asks as I open my eyes to find him completely shocked but instead of answering him, I gesture towards the file while gulping down my third glass of water.

"Let's continue. I don't want to waste any more time", my voice is dry as I open my laptop to start typing in the outline and he continues to examine my notes.

"God, your handwriting is horrible", his voice is filled with surprise as he brings one of the papers closer to those haunting, dazzling eyes to get a better look but gives in and throws it back onto the table.

"If you can't read it, why don't you make me something to eat instead?", I say robotically while looking at my screen and had not expected him to actually go to the kitchen in search for food.

My eyebrows furrow together as I walk up to him and say, "I was joking! Come on, we gotta get this done"

"I know you were joking and I know we have to this done but I am hungry and if you are not going to ask me then I am going to make myself", he complains as he looks around, opening cabinets and drawers.

"I didn't know you could cook", I say clearly perplexed by his actions.

"There are many things you do not know about me, Duarte", he continues his search and when I have had enough of his noise I say, "Stop! Okay, stop making noise! God, it's like raising a child or something", I grab the spatula from his hands but he takes it back saying, "Well, I am hungry and I can't work when I am hungry and by looking at you, you should be too"

As much as I would hate to admit it, I was hungry and I felt like I hadn't eaten in ages.

"Fine, you cook and I am going to take a break and watch some Netflix", I say right before telling him about where I keep the food and where the utensils are.

"One more question. Should I make sandwiches or hotdogs?"

"Lilliver usually does the cooking so, whatever you want", I turn on the television and continue to watch Shadow and Bone, each episode more intriguing than the last.

I hadn't realized an hour had passed when Cardan came with sandwiches.

The room is suddenly filled with the smell of freshly made sandwiches and that does nothing to satiate my hunger as I reach out for the dish set in front of me but Cardan quickly grabs the dish before I can get my hands on a sandwich.

"Patience is a virtue, dear Jude", Cardan says raising a long slender finger in the air.

"First of all, never and I mean NEVER call me dear", I glare at him as I grab the dish back, careful not to break it, "And you took so long making sandwiches that I got hungry"

I take a bite of the sandwich and if I am being honest, I had never tasted such sandwiches in my life and Cardan must have noticed me and my increasing craving for his delicious sandwiches that only seemed to make my hunger more insatiable when he said, "Either you like them", he gestured towards the half-bitten sandwich and its cheese dripping from the side of my mouth, "or you haven't eaten all day"

"Hmm. Yeah, I think it is the latter", I lie through my teeth with ease as I take a second one into my mouth.

I would never compliment him to his face, especially since I don't want him spreading the story in school.

"Why are you acting like this?", I ask out of nowhere before I can even process what I just said out loud.

"Like what?", he asks dumfounded

"I don't know, you seem a bit more... tolerable, I guess", my voice almost drops to a whisper as I stare at my third sandwich, suddenly looking for something more interesting in a piece of food that would soon be in my mouth.

He doesn't answer but I am able to see his mood shift as his body language completely changes and his muscles become more stiff. His pupils become dilated and he looks every bit as horrifying as he did when he once threw dust into my food after I had punched him.

All of a sudden, I regret what I had said and cursed my stupid mouth for opening itself.

We don't speak to each other for the rest of the night and though I hated Cardan with all that I had, one small part of me felt that there was more to this person, that he was more than just a bully and that I had missed an opportunity to get to know the real him.

Let me know if you wanna be tagged! Also, I will now on follow a policy of following back those who follow me, just to spread a bit of kindness!!

Taglist: @wanderingpages @thatrandomfangirlll @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @acourtofhearts @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @aesthetics-11 @angelpaulene @annihliation @anyaskywalker23 @ashlightgrayson @augustintodarkness @awkward-avacado-s @babycardan @beholdyourqueen1 @booklover-sleeplover @booksandothersecrets @booksofthemoon @b00kworm @cabeswater-and-camaros @cardaans @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @cardanslittletail @cardanstrickytail @courtofjurdan @feysand-babies @firestarsandseneschals @fizziefaerie @highladyofthefangirlcourt @highqueenjudeduarte @hizqueen4life @hoegreenbrair @hopefullyanauthor @hurema @iammissstark @im-wintermelody @iminsanenotobsessed @ireallyshouldsleeprn @jessacarstairs @judiecardan @junipersuns@jurdanhell @justtryintolivemybestlife @jyoti96 @katexrenee @katsemkitgostadetog @kevin-day-is-bi @kingandfireheart @kittkatandbooboo @knifewifejude @lady-thea-of-narnia @larrysaturn @leaff-life @lemon-check @life-in-black-lines @lifeminuspickles @livelovereading123 @localgoof @lordoftermites @greenbriarxrose @queenofbunnies13 @fanficreader435 @nightspeckle @thewickedkings @the-cruel-prince-cardan @myqueenjudeduarte @florafey

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monsoonblooms12 · 3 years

Text

Eumoiriety (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: Four Years of Pooja Sharma's Birthday, from her first year as an Intern to her first year as an Attending.

Eumoiriety: Happiness due to state of innocence and purity💕

A/N: It's my baby's birthday and I went overboard. This is purely self indulgent and since I have zero to negative self control, this turned out way longer than I expected it to. Anyway, I hope you still like it💙

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 3.7K (I am sorry!)

Rating: General

Category: A bit angst, A bit fluff

Warnings: None that I saw.

Prompts: @choicesaugustchallenge Day 29 - Birthday

READ ON AO3

Intern Year:

She walks barefoot on the green floor as the dews clinging to grass tips, soothe her like the cold breeze on a summer day.

A few golden rays filter through the canopy that acts as a barrier to the shining sun overhead. When they fall on the grass, the view looks like gold intermixed with emerald.

She wears a white gown, which flutters behind her, as her heart dances with the bees going flower to flower to get their prize of nectar in return for their favour of pollinating them.

There is a calm spreading through her soul, an ease, a slow infusion of tranquillity with her heart beats.

A swish makes her turn. Her eyes capture a silhouette, drifting farther and farther, as if taking her calm along with it.

It's replaced by restlessness.

There is a cajole, a whispered cajole, that urges her feet to run, her mind to think, her heart to wonder.

She follows. One step, and another.

The scene changes.

There are no more trees, no more green with the sun's shine.

At a distance, the waves crash on the sandy shore, their meet with their shore echoing in the silent surroundings.

She looks around and sees it.

The silhouette, now apparent that it was a man, standing with his back to her. He looks unbothered. As if he stole her peace and gave her his unrest in return.

She tries to walk slowly towards, footsteps imprinting on the sand, but the distance never seems to lessen or end.

She tries running, but to no avail.

The waves continue crashing, the footprints continue to get imprinted and the man continues to remain still and silent.

The only change has been in the sky, which is now leaden, dark with humongous clouds.

The thunder begins to cackle.

Once, Twice, Thrice.

She closes her ears with her hands, eyes shut to reduce the impact of the thunderous noise reverberating through every single one of her bones. But the roar keeps getting louder and louder until...

Her eyes snap open, but the echo from her sweven doesn't leave her. She turns around to find her phone ringing, straining her eyes with incredulous bright light (that she forgot to dim). The caller ID is barely registered, but the voice gives away the identity.

It's her sister.

With a flash, all the haze from the peculiar dream gets lost and bubbly happiness takes up the emptied space.

It's their birthday.

The first one since she came here. She had been so busy unknotting the twisted knots of circumstances in which she found herself tangled, that she had forgotten about the once unforgettable occasion of her life.

Maybe she has really lost that childhood she held on so tightly to, she thinks.

But not without a hope. Of a chance to get it back.

Maybe differently.

But the want to relive those carefree days, where the colour of pens you get as gifts, and the decision of who gets the piece of cake with the chocolate masterpiece on it were the only things that held importance. All other worldly, societal woes were secondary, trivial, uncared for.

She wishes her sister and she wishes her back.

3..2..1.. Happy Birthday! To Us!

They scream-whisper together, carrying on the years' long tradition.

The only thing different? They were on their cellulars, ecospheres apart, instead of snuggling and shouting together, and annoying their brother for an entire day.

Subconsciously, a tee-hee escapes her. Thinking about her brother, she takes a look at the clock. Correct 12:03 am on 12th August. If she knows him, he is probably counting the seconds.

At 12:05 am to the dot, another shrill echoes through the silent apartment. Her guess is correct.

On the other side of the screen, sits Idhayan arranging the cake so that Pooja can see the eloquent buttercream designs he has hand made on it.

In the background, there is a blurry motion. It turns out to be Alekhya.

She jumps onto the couch beside their brother, putting an end to his steady concentration.

He makes an irritated face, while she laughs.

And Pooja just watches, giggling alone.

The pang in her chest reminds her, once & once more, about just how much she misses them.

How empty, monochromatic her life is, with all these miles between them.

For the past year, every time any event took a turn for the worse, broke her, or hurt her, she wanted to go back to her safe haven.

The place where the chronicles of her life begun.

Many times, she had found herself convinced (by others as well as her self doubting mind) that she didn't belong here. That she didn't have the calibre, the skills to strive in this fight of dogs, in this race of horses where she felt like a donkey.

Or maybe a snail.

She dreamed of sleeping in her mother's lap when she first found herself in the crossroads of feelings and reason. Making her muddled head clear with words that never crossed the barrier between dream and reality.

When Mrs Martinez died, she imagined herself sitting on the swing, her brother's comfort brownies reduced to messy crumbs, as she let the mountain winds take away the burden of dread that pressed upon her heart.

And the day when Landry's backstab became eminent? She visualized her sister ripping him down, shredding him with knives of words because that's what he deserved.

She knew her father would have made them both coffee like he always did when he came home during breaks from piloting. He would have said a mere few words, which would have been enough for her to see the path ahead.

The mini virtual celebration ends, and the silence settles again. Tendrils of sleep come and go, but never stay.

She is left alone with her thoughts and worries, and a fear of the unknown which is hidden by the curtains of the future.

--------

The day passes like a swift blowing wind in a desert.

It's quiet, too quiet.

And probably for the first time in her life, she adores it. To be away from the hustle of a celebration, which would have been a noise in the cacophony, given the situation.

To get a period of silence for her thoughts to drift away, to think about the unknown, to predict a make or break.

The pages are turned swiftly by her fingers, one of which is clad with a minimal gold ring, another old ritual of hers.

The library harbours the overworked interns, who are now pushing the boundaries of time to find a way to help their friend out.

Their tired eyes pain with the lack of sleep, coffee fuelling through their veins, and mind engrossed in picking up any clue, any line, any tip that could be supportive for them.

Hours pass, no-one utters a word. Pens run on empty notebooks, hands managing to create only messy scribbles. Black and Blue fill the white as if it never existed.

The clock strikes the end hour.

They all get up.

They go home together, for discussions and relaxation.

At the doorstep, everyone enters before her, while she stands still, too engulfed in worries to notice the happenings.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Confetti pops, her reverie is broken.

The smile shines like a jewel in a priceless necklace.

The arrangements are minimal, just champagne, cake and friends, but that's more than enough for her. To make her forget the dark fog of pessimism.

Maybe there is hope left.

-------

Second Year:

12th August.

The day that is drifting closer by the minute.

It has always been Alekhya's birthday for her.

On her phone, In her diary, In her mind.

People might regard it as a beautiful flaw of her nature, the flaw of always placing others before herself.

But to her, the instinct seemed natural, obvious. She had never delved into the whys, and she doesn't want to begin now.

For Alekhya, the circumstances became vice-versa.

And this was the beauty of their bond.

Strong, Pure and Selfless.

They never seem to realize that, though.

They hold onto the strings of simplicity, of sweet uncomplexity. And that is what helps them to bridge the gap between siblings and best friends.

After the tumultuous year, that very much resembled the completion of a voyage through the rough Indian Ocean, where storms ravage through days and endless nights, thunders crack, and waves that scale the heights between the ocean and sky to become mountains of water, crash on the feeble pieces of wood barely held together in the form of a boat, coming back to her origin, her hometown is a necessity.

Especially for her to find that normalcy again.

She survived.

Even though she fell, almost drowned, gasped for a breath more times she could count and nearly accepted her fate.

Until that is, the pale faces of the ones she holds close, the endless stream of tears that scale their cheeks, their breaking hearts, came to haunt her in her reverie and prevented her from closing her eyes & from letting that almost undetectable beat of heart stop.

The wishes from last year come back to her. This time, it wasn't virtual anymore. This time, it wasn't just painted in pixels, but written in buttercream letters, one which she could taste.

This time, the hugs weren't just virtual. They were very real, and very needed.

As she sits amidst the bushes of phenomenal florals, she lets her mind project in vivid colours, the extremities of the last year.

Her heart, breaking into tiny glass pieces, not perceived by the eye but sharp enough to draw blood.

The fear of losing and letting so many others lose along.

The coming close and going away, almost kisses and slide of unassuming hands, those which could easily be perceived as a mistake, but were anything but.

Competing in a nameless competition and almost dying in the process.

Getting the lost love back. Slowly, Gradually. (even if it felt too early to call it that)

And then... Her mind stops as the playful tunes start emanating out along with florescent light from the cellular, and the face of the one who has been a regular image of the thoughts that lull her to sleep.

On the other side, his voice is soft.

She can visualize him in the Diagnostics Office, leaning back on his chair.

Most probably on a break.

The new day hasn't even started for him, yet he remembers that it has, for her.

Their talks are interspersed with comfortable silence. For them, just the knowledge that the person on the other side is still there with them is enough.

All through the conversation, she waits.

In a hope that the irrelevant and unimportant date is written in faded letters somewhere in that brilliant mind of his.

As the line approaches its end, talks slowly halt, she feels a faint pang of sadness.

Maybe he doesn't remember it after all.

She bids her farewell, and as his finger hovers close to the end call button, she hears it.

Crystal Clear but still seeming unreal.

Happy Birthday, Pooja.

Her thanks are intermixed with a light giggle, unable to hold back the pleasure that erupts within her, along with the flutter called butterflies in her stomach.

Maybe there is always hope left, after all.

-------

Last year of Residence:

There have been countless moments when she has asked the time to wait, to slow its rushing footsteps that leave no mark behind.

Sometimes it's a beg, while in other vespertine hours, it's a mindless murmur.

This moment is one of them.

When a handful of sand is slowly released on a windy day, the swooshes and swishes carry them away, farther and farther, leave them with no choice but to fly along.

The minutes were being carried away by the same current, where they had no choice but to pass.

No one had the power to hold it, not even the mighties, the richest, the most supreme.

The conditions now extensively mimic the conditions during her first year.

Just this time, it was textbooks on internal medicine and medical procedure instead of ethics.

The wishes that day are hushed, the minimal party comprising of cupcakes and mug cakes and the gang, christened "The Invincibles" after they successfully tackle one hurdle and another but remain strong and together, in their PJs.

It must be one of the first nights since who knows how long when they spent their time doing an activity that doesn't involve colour coded tabs and complicated biological drawings.

And even though some of them make faux complaints about the wasted time, they all needed this break more than they could express.

The morning sun rays filter through the white curtains guarding the windows way too fast, making them unable to pinpoint the exact moment when the black of the night ceased to exist, when the sky became melanocrysus and when the golden took over the entire stretch.

A single text message pushes her to drop the blanket of laziness, the cocoon she inhabited. Getting up and placing a smile has never been as easy as it was now.

Come Over

------

The condo is inhabited by a stark silence when she reaches there.

She knocks. The click of the doorknob on the other side is almost instantaneous.

His hand wraps around her waist like a reflex deeply etched in his encephalon. For the first time in forever, their kisses are not chaste. Or momentary.

When he whispers a happy birthday wish against her forehead, that's what she would call intimacy.

The purity of the action touches her heart and makes it swell, with an emotion that she predicts will not remain unnamed any longer.

-------

First-year as an attending:

The celebratory vibes are in the air today.

Her stride is confident, heels playing a mellow harmony on the shining floors.

No one doesn't recognize her.

The intern who nearly lost her license to the Head of Diagnostics team, it was a journey that had thrown her off-road a million times.

Sometimes the barriers were pinpricks leaving no marks, and sometimes they were boulders crushing her.

And sometimes, one of these on-lookers would tear down her faith by stabbing her from the back, the cowardice of their soul, being mirrored in the blades of those knives of betrayal.

And yet she stands strong, her resolve unperturbed, as she faces the demons, those of others and those of her own.

It's a fight she has been learning to fight since she was eleven.

To curtain her tears with a glow in eyes, to hide the broken heart behind pretty lies. And just like practice makes one perfect, she has almost perfected the art of having to hide the real her inside.

As she passes the numerous congregations, amalgamations of patients and staff, she is greeted by wishes from old acquaintances whose kindness is apparent in their smile and by wishes of employed enemies, whose disinterest or sometimes blatant hate is too, completely apparent in their voice.

But they are not the ones she is worried about.

Interspersed between these two extremities are people who speak kind and in flattery lines with a sword behind their back.

Those who know how to hide their true intentions in the modulations of voice.

Every time she hears a wish where nothing is apparent, her heart stops for a while.

Strings of thought muddle her head and she tries to figure out the reality behind their words.

Sometimes she succeeds, sometimes she fails.

And sometimes she faces vehement opposition of her tired nerves who ask her to stop caring about those who are passing by.

But she never stops.

Her legs carry her to the Diagnostics office.

Her Office.

The swell of pride, of a fulfilment she last felt when she got into Edenbrook, make her head light.

She tries to stop but gives up the efforts soon.

If she has realized something through the twists of lawsuits and turns of almost dying, it is that if you keep waiting for the turns of the clock to approach a "right moment" for a chance to celebrate, you will probably keep waiting your entire life until your breath is being taken away and all that is left are regrets and missed opportunities of happiness.

So she twirls like a princess in her imaginary ball gown, beaming with satisfaction, and taking pride in giving herself the give of success.

Of making her loved ones and herself proud.

She gets so carried away in the train of thoughts, in which one bougie is connected by another, and one more, that she doesn't notice the person who preoccupies the room.

The halt is so sudden, that she almost tumbles upon the man. Almost.

She manages to get hold of herself, her hand on his back.

He turns, eyes meet.

If someone would have asked her what is cosmic, she would have said "The melt of glowing ambers into ice blue." Sure, she has looked into them more times than she can count or recollect. But every time their orbs meet, the reactions the action produces, she can only give the word seraphic to it.

When Ethan left for Amazon, she would often wonder why is she still keeping the lamp of hope alive. His absquatulation broke her, acted like a spark to her over-thinking mind. She would lie on her bed, eyes tracing the same lines on the ceiling above her over and over again, thinking just what she did wrong. She never reached the end of the path though, never really achieved the answer, even after meandering through a hundred courses of thoughts.

But now, she thanks her old self for living through it all. For not letting that lamp extinguish. For keeping it safe in a little corner of the labyrinths of her heart. Wordlessly, she hugs him, the plethora of emotions becoming quite too much to be expressed in minute syllables.

His whisper next to her ears, the innocently simplistic words induce a shiver in her spine.

But the last word.

4 letters, 1 word.

It hangs in the air like a diamond necklace around a maiden's neck. Like a tiny pendant that shines brighter than all elaborate jewels, all lengthy anecdotes.

It's enough, more than enough for her.

And as their smiles slowly spread like the slow rise of the golden sun, gently letting the rays spread through the humble earth. And those smiles, they shine together, brighter than the Sirius.

Happy Birthday, Love.

-------

Her casual gown, bearing floral patterns, flutters along with the soft grass, she feels a sense of wonder. Whether at the shimmering moon, the stardust spread through the stretch in the woods, or at the simplicity of her surroundings, she does not know.

Her unassuming footsteps walk slow, observant of her surroundings. After walking down the trail, she stops at the clearance.

At a distance, something shines under the silver moonbeams. Her mind beckons her to return back, but her intuition asks her to move on. She listens to the latter's plea.

A small cuboidal box and a bunch of white tulips lay peacefully out of place. She usually would have left it, just in case it was a trap.

But this time curiosity overtook reason and she picks the bouquet up. A small note amidst her favourite flowers.

I love you

No name. No initials. But she knew exactly who had written it. Not because he was the one who asked her to come here, in the heaven hidden amidst the chaos, but because those flourishes of his fanciful lettering would never escape her notice. Even if the only source of luminance was distant fairy lights on trees and the faint moonbeams.

Her eyes travel away from the articles. At a distance, the silhouette stands. The same silhouette from her sweven. But this time, there is no restlessness, no rush, no tension in the air. No thunder cackles and no waves crash. This time the silhouette waits for her, unlike the last time when it was her waiting for him.

He turns, only the shine of his orbs visible. And the shadow of the gorgeous smile that dances on his lips. The last time, his stone mask was too heavy, too powerful for any of them to break or move.

But this time? This time, the mask has fallen off, it has met the end of its existence.

He comes closer, the shadow now a clear image. He goes and picks up the cuboid and hands it to her.

"Open it" He whispers in a soft voice, that disappears as soon as it appears.

She takes it and opens it, as per his words. Everything is perfect and normal.

Except for the space in the middle.

Something sparkles, in silver lustre. Her first instinct is, Diamond? She decided to pick it up

It's a key.

She looks up to him, bewildered. Is it what she thinks it is?

Move-in with me?

She places the box of chocolates down, the key held tight in her fist.

And then she kisses him.

She doesn't have to speak a word, but he understands. After all, why would two intertwined hearts need verbal responses to know what the other one feels?

Only his home, can fill the brick walls of his house with love, and make it a home.

------

They both lay side by side on the lush grass, hands intertwined, hearts beating in unison, silence filling their souls like air fills their lungs.

They look at the stars and the moon. Or more appropriately, the gaze at the starry screen, but the mind plays significant moments from their time together.

Pooja's mind however thinks about the four of her birthdays since she set foot in Boston. The mundane softness of them, contrasting all the birthdays she has had in the rest of her years.

The photo frame of the interns from the first year. The group video call, her life from the second year. The PJ party from the third year. And the key from the fourth.

They are puzzle pieces of the saga of her life, the absence of friends from early years, the gap, the void now filled.

And after years of searching, she thinks she has finally found it. Hidden in the normality, the simplicity, the mundanity of life.

Happiness.

PS: If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags🤎 (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you):

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@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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vivisextion · 3 years

Text

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

#Joey Jordison #Slipknot #Murderdolls

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