#hate hate hate onions

[sargeantsarmy]

[piss-off-erik]

things I expected from watching glass onion with my family: a fun evening with a movie I know we’ll all enjoy

things I did not expect from watching glass onion with my family: my mother going on a 15 minute rant about how much she hates Hugh grant (based on his 15 seconds of screen time) and how Benoit Blanc deserves better, and then my dad defending Hugh Grant because he was holding a sourdough starter and that’s the ‘sign of a caring partner’

[ayo-edebiri]

💀

[2manyflannels]

Thank the lord that Benoit Blanc is a detective with compassion and kindness and cares while also being a genius detective because the two don’t need to be exclusive

[lesbianthetridentarius]

harrow didn’t make her soup out of g1deon’s least favorite vegetables out of spite! to be fair, that is what the reader is meant to believe when the detail is first mentioned, because it is funny in the moment.

but soon after that initial sentence, we learn the real reason:

harrow needed g1deon to eat lots of broth so she would have enough marrow in his intestines to grow a whole skeleton party out of his insides. she was able to make him eat more broth by making the other ingredients in the soup, every other option, things he categorically refused to eat. these were tactical vegetables.

[3-aem]

when he splash his pure shit water up ur nose during butt bath time and then acts like the victim

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I ate some onions (I hate them so much) and I blew up right after. I was so mad, I gathered all of the onion folk in the world and nuked them. The smell of their burning bodies brought a smile to my face and tears to everyone’s eyes.

God, I hate onions.

[disinhume]

He's not very good at teaching anyone how to cook

[stararch4ngelqueen]

cooking together date night with jason using the “here, let me show you trope” while you’re trying to idk cut something up and he comes up behind you and takes your hands and guides you “like this” he says and kisses you on the head while you’re just cutting up veggies together

This is based off a distaste I have. If you do like it, fight me

—

You didn’t like onions. The smell, the taste, the crunch.

Unless it was incredibly unnoticeable in a dish, you despised it. Which means you may not have liked a lot of foods.

It bugged you, but Jason wanted to convince you to try it in different ways. What’s an easy way to mask the flavor and texture of an onion? Cook it down in a soup.

Now, here you stood fully convinced in front of a cutting board with a knife in hand, staring down a yellow onion like it’s a demon without its disguise. You did this for the promise of warm soup inside a bread bowl to combat the cold night outside the foggy windows.

“It’s not pointing a gun at you.” Jason’s comment throws you off, though you knew you looked more stunned than terrified.

“Need help, buttercup?” He approaches after coring out two sizable caverns into fresh bread. Your pleading gaze says it all, giving you a heartwarming smile.

“It’s easy, just gotta get the hang of it.”

His palm brushes along the back of yours. His fingers cradling your hand, reinforcing around the black handle.

After chopping off the top to rid the onion of its papery skin, he quickly cuts it in half, believing he’d only need about half of it. He turns the onion and proceeds to cut lengthwise over the top, making small, thin lines along the bulbous body.

“Watched Alfred do this little trick once,” Jason comments as he worked, fighting back a growing smile every moment he’d feel a nervous little quiver within his gentle grasp.

He shows you that this little hack essentially dices up the onion without the tedious work. You were too occupied in the movement of his hands along yours, expressing his knife skills through your inexperienced fingers.

“Not too hard, was it?”

Your head cranes back a bit, your lashes fluttering with beady tears.

“What?” His brows furrow in concern. There was no way you got cut, right?

“This burns.” You couldn’t help but laugh, embarrassed by the stupid chemical reaction out of your control. “This burns really bad.”

“Aww, poor baby.” Jason chuckles after clicking his tongue before he takes the knife out of your hand, sliding the demented cutting board off to the side.

He steps closer and settles an arm over your front, leaving you sinking into the warmth radiating off his torso against your back. A toasty fire, cozy company, and he’s all yours.

His lips settle along your head, kissing you twice for good measure. “I got it babe. You did good.”

[nachosforfree]

Post: you NEED to eat more than 2 types of vegetables I DONT CARE IF YOURE AUTISTIC IM AUTISTIC TOO AND CAN DO IT WHICH MEANS YOU DEFINITELY CAN TOO!!! Just find a way to make them taste good Its literally sooo easy!!!!

The notes: yeah! Here's some ways you can do that: *lists 1000 mouth torturing methods*

[michelangelinden]

I love many things about Glass Onion, but easily one of my favourites was how Derol is just some guy. He's just there, no explanation, no reason. He could have been the "omg it was the random guy all along" guy, but no, he is just some guy. Love it.

[bananaede]

izutsumi but I can't remember her design

[lady-of-the-spirit]

I think there's one area that I thought Glass Onion was better than Knives Out and it's the dynamics between the rich shitheads. Knives Out had a family of a bunch of rich assholes who, even if they cared about each other, were stuck together because they were family.

A group of rich assholes who are friends and stick together both because they're friends and have a history prior to them becoming rich and successful, and because they're all dependent on their one rich biggest asshole friend, who will stab you in the back for their own interests but are still friends in a weird fucked up way is way more interesting to me.

[pininiu]

Yeah…

Drew the Bulb Burglar

[wejustvibing]

"i did him proud. i did what he asked me to do" 🥺