#have i ever written my goals down if i wasn't forced to before? no. and maybe that's why ive been so shit at reaching my goals<3

[peachcitt]

normally i never make resolutions because im of the opinion that you can change your life whenever you want and technically speaking any day of the year can be the start of a new year. that being said. my past year was kind of garbage.

so! i have decided to be more keen on new years resolutions, especially making ones that will hopefully make me feel better if something i can't control affects me negatively. i actually made a huge list of resolutions, more than i put here, that all kind of boil down to trying out ways to make my life more comfortable and fulfilling for myself and the people around me.

happy new year everybody i hope this year treats us all kindly :)

[justcallmeanobsessor]

-A Deal With The Devil-

-Trigger Warnings: Dud-Con, Sexual Content, Size Difference, Mentions of Claws, oral sex

-Pairings: Demon! Male x gn Witch! reader

INTRO:

Only an orange glow of candle light lit up the sight in front of me. His yellow eyes stared up at me with hunger, claws digging into my thighs as his tongue dipped deeper into my depths. Reaching every spot it can, he left no crevice untouched as if he was claiming me for himself. This wasn't how I thought this would go. All I wanted was a simple contract to help me with my endeavors, instead I have this demonic creature on his knees, groaning at the taste of me.

Many would say my thirst for knowledge knows no bounds for what I am about to attempt but others would say I'm just plain stupid and maybe I am. It's not every day that you call on the forces of hell to help you with discovering the secrets of the universe and accomplish your life goals but I also guess for my kind it's just as natural as adopting a new cat. Though this cat is much larger and has a few tricks up its sleeves that most definitely shouldn't be taken lightly unless you want to be left with a few less limbs.

In a cottage, I knelt beside a pentagram that sat in the midst of a circle of dark red candles. A book of seances and spells sat in my hands. My courage to go on with the summons was starting to slowly fade as everything became a bit more real but the thoughts of what I'd gain from this pushed me to finally start the chanting.

After a while I had gotten to the end of the lengthy paragraphs written in old latin. Nothing happened. Not even a flicker of candle light. ‘Great, Well this was a waste of time’ I thought as I stood from my kneeling position moving to start cleaning up the mess I had made, no need to start an unwanted conspiracy by someone stumbling upon this sight. 

Just as I was about to smudge a line in the pentagram a strong light emitted from it painting the walls of the room in blood red. My wonder was short lived for just like it had started in only a few seconds it was gone even sooner.

My eyes took a couple of seconds to adjust again but once they did what stood before me left me in awe. A beautiful man was standing there and a scowl of what looked to be annoyance sat on his pale face. He narrowed his brightly glowing eyes at me examining my body and then moving to the room around us, glancing and inspecting every crevice yet not moving a foot from where he stood. ‘Why have I been summoned, Witch.’ he spat out the word ‘witch’ with absolute disgust, crossing his arms in the process. “I-i-i…..” I stammered trying to get the words out but failing miserably. “Well! Spit it out, I don't have all day!” His annoyance with this whole situation seemed to increase exponentially more with every passing second. “I-um I want to make a contract with you!” The end of my sentence came out rushed and more demanding than I had wanted. 

He crosses his arms and stands straighter, looming over me. “You, an insolent little witch, want to make a contract with me?” “Yes, I do.” I straighten my posture as well, looking up into his golden eyes. “I want you to help me with my discoveries, I want knowledge and nothing more.” I started to get a bit more confident but the sudden condescending laugh he let out diminished that quickly. “And what do you have that I would want in return for giving you this ‘knowledge’ that you desperately seek?” I froze, I had entirely forgotten that I needed to give something in exchange. How could I forget this?! 

Most witches would use a valuable object or artifact in return for the demon's help but I had yet to obtain anything of the sort. I didn't have anything that would be of value to a demon, all that I really owned was myself and the clothes on my back, everything else belonged to the coven. Wait. “Well, what do you have, little witch?” This may be the stupidest idea ever but this is my last and only chance. “I'll give you myself.” “What?” He looked down at me with shock and confusion. “My body and soul are yours if only you complete my requests and help me in my endeavors!” his shock turns into a smug grin mockingly. “Do you even know what you are proposing little witch?” “Yes-yes I do!” I'm unsure of what he means by that. I'm basically offering myself up as a puppet for his biddings. “I'm unsure if you know the extent of what you have offered me but I guess that's more fun.” confusion washes across my face. Damn demons and their games. “Well, do you agree?” He closes his eyes, holding his chin in between his clawed thumb and pointer finger in thought. “It seems with such a precious offer I have no other choice but to accept.” He purred, holding out his hand to seal the contract between us. I lift mine into his and as he holds my hand our difference in size becomes even more noticeable. He could break me in half with little to no effort. 

Our hands were wrapped in a golden light, scaring the skin below and ceiling the contract with it. I had moved to pull my hand from his, he had different plans. Pulling my smaller frame into his chest and bringing his mouth to my ear he spoke. “I think it's time to show you exactly what you have offered up.” I still was utterly confused as to what he was talking about but everything became more obvious to what he had been alluding to when his tongue licked up the side of my ear, his teeth nibbling on the tip causing a moan to ripple from throat. My hands came up to my mouth, horrified at the noise I had just made. The demon chuckled, prying my hands off my mouth. “Don't hide those pretty noises from me, little witch.” With those growled words a blush had made its way to my face and a fog of lust began to wash over my mind. 

He went back to his work, licking at the shell of my ear then moving downwards leaving kisses and bites in his path. As he got to the base of my neck he sucked hard enough to leave a deep bruise that would be noticeable to anyone who even glanced at it, in a way, he seemed to be marking me as his. 

He was slow with his actions but they were calculated and rough, making me shiver with pure pleasure. No matter how much one half of me wanted to refuse, I just couldn't bring myself to, not even as he removed my shirt and made his way down to my chest. Not even as his tongue circled around my nipple, sucking and nibbling at it while his hand tugged and twisted the other between his fingers. I had no knowledge of just how sensitive I was until this very moment, with both the work of his mouth and hands sending waves after waves of pleasure towards my nethers. My knees had begun to buckle underneath me but before I had the chance to be taken by the pleasure completely and fall to the ground below, he caught me in his arms leading me to lay on the wooden planks of the cottage as he finished stripping me of my clothing. 

He knelt between my legs spreading my thighs apart, groaning at the sight of my throbbing hole. He wasted no time in dipping his head down and liking at my entrance causing a moan to fall from my lips. He lifted his golden eyes to look at me, a smirk forming on his face as he plunged his tongue into my depths not moving his eyes away from me. 

My head whipped back as I held myself up on my elbows. His tongue licked over every inch of my insides not leaving anything untouched, claiming everything he could reach. Hitting every pleasurable spot inside me, taking all I am for his own and leaving me only wanting more so much more. “Please please!” He pulled his tongue out from my hole leaving me whining to be filled again. “Please what? Use your words little witch.” “Please, more.” I whined just wanting something inside me. “Hmm I don't think you deserve more just yet.” What was he talking about? He can't be serious, is he really playing games right now? “Fuck! I'll do anything Just do something!” I yelled out in frustration. “I don't like being ordered around, little witch.” He growled lowly as he pulled me up by my hair, shoving my face into his crotch. His hard cock resting against my cheek. “Suck.” He commanded. I didn't fight back, licking a line up to his head and then suckling on the tip. Swirling my tongue as he groaned, putting his hand on the back of my head and shoving me down his length till my nose hit his pelvis. 

As I was Gagging and struggling to breath he pulled back thrusting into my throat again. I breathed through my nose as he continued his relentless thrusts. My fingernails digging into his thighs leaving crescent indents. Tears pricked my eyes with the strength he was using, my lips starting to get sore. As his thrusts started to spasm he shoved his whole cock in my mouth when a thick warm liquid ran down my throat. “Swallow.” he demanded, then removed his length from my mouth. I did as he said, gulping down the salty liquid and opening my mouth to him to prove that I had. “Good, little witch, maybe next time I'll reward you.” Wait he isnt going to leave me like this is he? “What? but i-!” 

“You didn't actually think I'd give you something in return after how you spoke to me?” I went quiet, looking down in shame and frustration as he started to clean himself up. “Like I said you don't deserve it yet, little witch.” This smug ass fucker. The next thing I knew he was gone leaving me desperate and frustrated. This is not at all how I thought this would turn out.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

I will never actually write this because it was too sad (even for me and my angsty skills...)

A while ago, I came up with the idea to write a really sad fic about the turtles. Duh.

A goal with all my fics is to have a moment where I make the audience cry, or at the very least get emotional. And this was no exception. It’s a personal challenge for me, to see if I can get my audience truly invested. But, I also need my fics to have a PURPOSE. So, if I was gonna write a sad and angsty fic, I needed a way to bring it to a moral or happy ending, to show a reason why the characters went through what they did, rather than just have a story for story's sake. So, I went about coming up with a synopsis for a story that showed how to deal with grief and guilt and hopelessness. But after several months of writing and ideas, I realized that it simply wasn't working out. The story wasn't just sad or angsty, it was utterly depressing. The message of hope even after death wasn't pulling through... and in addition, I got worried that the massive amounts of despair in the story were going to be detrimental to my mental health, if not also for the readers. Thusly, I scrapped the plot.

So fair warning, the stuff you're about to read is very emotional and kinda dark...

Naw I ain’t playing, turn back now while you have the chance.

CW: LOTS. OF. DEATH. Major illness, disintegration, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, even a suicide attempt.

I was even in the process of making cover art for it (which I do for all my fics lol)

The fic literally starts out with a note from April (the narrator), explaining that she documented everything and warns the reader that this story does not have a happy ending. It takes place about a week after the invasion, and the family was having a rough time. Mikey's hands were absolutely scorched, Donnie's immune system was shot and he seemed to be getting ill, Raph was having constant panic attacks, and Leo wasn't getting better from his injuries. To top it all off, a new government branch was setting up camp in NYC and interrogating people about the events of the Krang attack. April had narrowly escaped but figured the Earth Protection Force would come back for her. Meanwhile, Leo’s injuries weren’t healing like they should have and he was getting worse… Eventually the family caved and asked for help from Agent Bishop and the EPF, but after some doctors and scientists took a look at Leo… they realized there was nothing anyone could do. They’d waited too long. Leo was not going to make it, and all they could do was make him comfortable for a few hours before he... yeah. So everyone said their goodbyes, and I actually have some snippets of dialogue written down and it makes me cry every time. Donnie had the worst reaction, upset by Leo's peace with the situation and devastated by his loss, believing that he never showed his appreciation and love for his twin as much as he should have. Leo attempts to comfort Donnie, but eventually tells him to "get over it". A few hours later, Leo dies in his sleep, and the room erupts into grief and panic and chaos until Donnie, in his pure anger, punches a hole through the heart monitor and leaves. Leo is given a viking send-off in the Hidden City, and afterwards, April asks what they are supposed to do now. Donnie angrily repeats Leo's last insight: get over it. April goes home, and after her parents ask her how her day was… she bursts into tears.

Several weeks later, Mikey tries to get Donnie and Raph to talk about their feelings, but they both refuse. Mikey himself is having issues, his hands not healing quickly and he wonders if he will ever be able to make a work of art again. He manages to get Donnie to admit his guilt of not being there for Leo and still holding anger and resentment towards his twin for sacrificing himself and dying. Mikey suggests that he speak with Raph, but Donatello refuses. Later, during an attack, Raph was knocked out and Donnie collapsed from his illness, which he had been hiding. Mikey realizes that it's left to him and uses his mystic powers to portal his brothers to safety, at the cost of his own life. Mikey comes to terms with this, believing that what he did was his mangum opus, and he feels no pain as he vanishes, greeted by Leo in the afterlife.

Donatello and Raphael mourn the loss of two brothers, and Donnie finally talks with Raph about his grief over Leo’s death (in honour of Dr. Feelings’ memory). However, his declining health is brought to light and Donnie is placed in quarantine. Casey Jr. identifies his illness as a common Krang disease, one his mother died of, and the group work overtime to create the cure. Raph stays with his last sibling and keeps him company. Donnie gets more and more sick, and one night while April and Casey are working with Agent Bishop to finalize the antidote, Donnie's fever worsens and he sleepwalks, hallucinating Mikey and Leo's return and them comforting Donnie and telling him that the others will be alright in his absence. Donnie senses that his time is almost up. Raph finds him but doesn't understand what Donnie is seeing or who he is talking to, and takes him back to bed. April and Casey finally finish the cure and rush home, hoping to make it back in time, but find Raph asleep by Donnie's bedside… Donnie having just succumbed to his illness a few hours prior.

Raph is left as the last one alive, dealing with extreme survivors' guilt for outliving his brothers and blames himself for their deaths. April tries to comfort him, Splinter, and Casey. (Casey notes that history seems to be repeating itself in reverse order— that while in the alternate timeline Raph died first and Leo last, the opposite has been happening here, and Casey fears that Raph might actually die somehow very soon.) Meanwhile, Raphael tries to atone for his guilt by overdoing the vigilante work on his own. Eventually he decides that it isn't enough, he can never atone, and he misses his brothers too much… so he writes a note to April and emails it to her, then goes to the Hidden City to pick a fight with Heinous Green... and let him win. April receives the email and she and the others rush to save Raph, who at this point has already found Heinous Green and is letting him beat the ever-loving life out of him. Halfway through, however, he realizes what he is doing and that his brothers would not want this for him, but it's too late... April and Casey find Raph near death and attempt to save him, but he goes unconscious from his injuries.

While April, Casey, Splinter and Draxum work to heal Raph's wounds and revive him, Raphael dreams of the afterlife, meeting up with his brothers and apologizing for everything. They comfort him, yet also explain that he has to wake up soon; and how April, Casey, and Splinter still need him. Raphael asks if he can stay, to which they promise that he will be okay without them and someday they will see each other again; that they aren’t mad at him for their deaths, but that he cannot speed up their meeting. Raph agrees to go home, to which they all say how proud they are of him. Raphael wakes up with his family around him, relieved that he survived. Later that night, he and April have a discussion where she scolds and berates him for trying to leave them, saying that she had no one left. He admits his actions and apologizes and promises to get better.

In an epilogue, April explains that it has been a full year since Raph’s injuries, and he is doing much better. The Hidden City made a memorial for the three lost brothers in honour of their sacrifices. Casey Jones Jr. has been doing better as well, though he will often have nights of panic and moments of grief that only Raph can get him through. Agent Bishop works with Raphael and Casey to keep the city safe from mutant attacks, and they work to create a new team, hinting to characters like Mona Lisa, Venus De Milo/Frida Kahlo, Leatherhead, and other characters from the comic series. April ends by stating that at the beginning, she said the story did not have a happy ending. She stands by this, stating that the story has not ended and will continue for as long as they live, and that she does her best to remember her friends and keep going on, not for their sake, but for her own. And that one day, she will see them again.

And as if THAT wasn't heart-wrenching enough, I also planned a short after-story of how something like 80 years later, The Hamato ghosts get ready to welcome Raph into the afterlife, showing Leo preparing a house for him and Mikey decorating and Donnie gardening.

So yeah this is the most depressing and heartbreaking thing I've ever written, and I ACTUALLY SPARED YOU FROM THE DIALOGUE I HAD WRITTEN TOO

[snugglebug-92]

Dylan Duke x Wise Reader

If you told Dylan Duke 18 months ago that he would be dating the little sister of an Ohio State hockey player he would have laughed. He didn’t have a problem with Ohio. He was from there and his going to Michigan shocked some people. He made friends in the USNTDP that were going to Michigan so he decided to go there. His hockey season is good. He gets a goal in his first game. Everything is pretty good for him. 

Then he goes to play Ohio State. His whole family comes to watch him. They win the game and the boys go get dinner all high off their win. That’s when Dylan sees her. She’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. His eyes follow her to a table where he recognizes a few Ohio State players at the table and slumps into his seat. Of course, she had to go to his biggest rival school. 

After most of the boys go back to the hotel, Dylan decides to get ice cream with his family. That’s when he runs into her again. But this time literally. Thankfully he hadn’t got ice cream yet and her’s had a lid on it otherwise it would have been bad. The force ends up knocking her to the ground.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run into you,” he says as he helps her up.

“It’s okay,” she says smiling. At that moment Dylan knows he’s a goner. 

“Is there anything I can do to make it up, do you?” he asks feeling bad.

“I need to get going but if you want to get coffee or something before your game tomorrow we could,” she smiles looking up at the boy. 

“Um yeah sure. Could I get your number?” he asks.

“Yeah of course give me your hand,”  she says to the boy. He holds his hand out and she writes her number on his hand before rushing out the door. He watches her leave as his brother laughs having watched the whole interaction go down right in front of him. The two boys order ice cream before going into the car where the rest of the family is. 

"Do you even know who that girl is?" Tyler whispers not knowing if Dylan wants the whole family to know. Dylan shakes his head no before handing everyone their ice cream. 

"Her brother just transferred this year. He used to play in Boston. She followed him to Ohio," he says before taking a bite of his ice cream.

"Does she have a name?" Dylan questions hoping to get more information out of his little brother.

"Y/N. Y/N Wise," Tyler says looking at his brother before grabbing his hand and looking at the number written on it. He grabs his brother's phone from the pocket of his suit jacket and shoves it in his face before typing the number in. He texts the girl before turning the phone off and placing it back in his brother's pocket.

"You really just texted her huh?" He questions.

"Like you were gonna. Don't get me wrong I'm proud of you for actually getting her number but that's the easy part. Plus she already knew who you were. So yeah I texted her. You're welcome," Tyler says before going back to eating his ice cream. Dylan goes back to his hotel about 20 minutes later and right as he steps into the shower his phone goes off. He reads the text and it's a time and place to meet. Thankfully all he will have to do is agree. He goes to bed that night with a smile on his face.

The next morning he goes to morning skate before quickly changing and going to the coffee shop. Thankfully it wasn't too far away. He spots her already sitting down and mentally curses himself for being late even if he's 10 minutes early. When she sees him she waves him over.

"Hi," she smiles as he sits down across from her.

"Hi. How are you?" He asks, looking at the girl. She's in an oversized Ohio State hockey sweatshirt with a messy bun but he still thinks she's beautiful.

"I'm good. Excited for the game. How are you, Dylan?" She asks.

"I’m good, wait you learned my name," he smiles.

"I already knew it. I'll watch Michigan when I want to annoy my brother. They talk about how good this Dylan Duke kid is so I looked him up," she laughed

"So I have a fangirl?"

"Maybe?" She shrugs.

"I won't complain if she's half as pretty as you are."

"You flirting Duke?"

"That depends. Would you ever date a guy at Michigan?" He asks, slightly shocked by how bold he's being.

"Maybe? Would you ever date a girl at Ohio State?"

"Yeah, I would. Now, do you want some coffee?"

"That sounds good," she says, taking his hand and leading him to the counter. The two get their coffee and Dylan pays to make up for last night. The two talk for hours and soon Luke is calling Dylan to ask where he is. 

"Do you need a ride?" She quietly questions as he frantically talks on the phone. He nods sheepishly before hanging up.

"If you don't mind, that would be nice," he says.

"Let's go," she says, grabbing his hand. They walk to her car and she quickly moves some stuff off her passenger seat before opening the door from the inside for the boy. He gets in and buckles up before giving her directions to the hotel off his phone. They park out front and she kisses him on the cheek before he leaves the car. He walks into the lobby to see Luke looking at him in shock.

"You were with a girl?" Luke says, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Yeah. A pretty one," he says heading back up to the room.

"You're lucky I'm the only one who noticed you were gone," Luke says, bumping Dylan's shoulder.

"Thanks for not telling on me," he says as they enter their room. They change for the game before heading to the bus to leave. They ended up losing the game.

The two text every day for the next week and over Christmas break they meet up. He officially asks her to be his girlfriend when Ohio comes out to play Michigan. She says yes and wears one of his shirts even if she'd have to wear something for Ohio over it. Dylan watches as she sits next to his brother and he smiles to himself. He’s happy that at least one person can know about their relationship. Dylan gets a goal that night and points at her when he does his celly. The girl smiles at him.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating my brother,” Tyler says, shaking his head.

“He’s cute. Plus he has this weird charm to him,” she says smiling watching him skate back to the bench. 

“I can’t believe it took him a whole 2 months to ask you to be his girlfriend. I figured we were gonna be in-laws before the season was over with how much he talked about you,” he jokes watching the girl's facial expressions change as her boyfriend draws a penalty. 

“Ty we’ve only known each other for two months, we aren't getting married anytime soon,” she laughs watching as her boyfriend sits in the box.

“I know. It’s just your the first girl he’s liked enough to bring home. You’re the first girl he sent flowers to on Valentine's. He really likes you.”

“I really like him. But I don’t want to rush into anything. I just want to spend as much time with him as possible.”

And she does. She spends that night in his arms as well as the next. She texts him every day and she facetimes him every other. She spends her spring break in Michigan rather than with her friends on a beach in Mexico if that means she could get to spend 5 minutes with him. She drives there as soon as her class is done on Friday. She’s able to wear his jersey to his game without a care in the world when they play Notre Dame. When Dylan leaves the locker room on that night she runs into his arms and plants one on him. Thankfully he was one of the last guys to leave because the feeling of her lips against his was intoxicating. When they finally pull apart and untangle themselves from each other they are met with a few looks from shocked teammates.

“I didn’t even know you knew what a girl was, Duker,” one of his teammates says, wrapping his arm around the boy. Dylan grabs her hand before leading her out of Yost.

“This is Y/N. My girlfriend,” Dylan says proudly while kissing her hand. She smiles at the boy.

“Awe barf. You two are gross. I guess you aren’t going to the party then?” he questions.

“No, we aren’t. I just want to have some alone time with my girl,” Dylan says smiling.

“Be safe you two. I don’t want to be an uncle yet,” his teammate says, leaving the two alone.

“Whatever Briss,” he says, leading her to his dorm. The two get to his dorm and she sits on his bed as he grabs his stuff to go shower in his ensuite. She takes the time to take off her makeup and slip off the jersey before slipping on one of the sweatshirts she stole from his closet. She’s half asleep when he walks out of the bathroom towel still wrapped around his waist. He grabs his clothes before going back into the bathroom. She lies down getting comfortable before he comes into the room laying down next to her. She rests her head on his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. His hand runs through her hair and their legs are a tangled mess. 

Sunday morning they slowly wake up before getting ready and going to get breakfast. Dylan clings to her, not letting her be more than 5 feet away from him unless one of them needs to go to the bathroom for the whole day. After breakfast, Dylan works on some homework while she reads a book. They get dinner together and then go back to his dorm so they can watch a movie. They fall asleep before the movie is even over.

Monday she goes to his bigger classes where the professor won’t notice an extra student. She sits next to him messing around on her computer while he takes notes. When he goes to practice she sits on the highest row of seats quietly watching him. The rest of the week is similar. They get breakfast and she’ll go with him to his bigger classes. She’ll watch practice and they will cuddle while watching a movie at night. They leave Friday to fly to Minnesota and she starts her drive. The boys end up winning the game and after a lot of convincing from the coach and phone calls to the Duke family the happy couple drives together from Minneapolis to Ann Arbor. She drops him off and the two share a long embrace before she leaves to go back to  Ohio.

Dylan’s phone rings as soon as he leaves the locker room after playing Quinnipiac. He already knows what she’s gonna say but she’s still happy she called. 

“You're going to the frozen four babies! I’m so proud of you!” she yells into the speaker.

“Thank you,” he smiles even though she can’t see him. The two talked on the phone for a little while before Dylan’s forced to hang up so the boys can leave. He sends her a text as soon as he’s back in his dorm letting her know he’s back safe and sound. 

The game against Denver is a hard one. They played like hell but still lost. The plane ride back was somber as half of the boys were not going to be in Michigan by the time the week was over. A few of the boys never even returned. They knew no matter the outcome of the game they were going pro. When the plane landed in Michigan Dylan called the girl hoping to talk but got a busy signal. He didn’t think much of it until he saw her in his sweatshirt with her arms wide open. He dropped everything and ran into her arms visibly slumping when she wrapped them around him. She pulled his face out of her neck and wiped away the few tears that had fallen. He rests his forehead against hers happy to be with his girl. They go to collect his stuff before driving back to his dorm. When they get there no words are said as he changes out of his suit and into a pair of sweats. She sits down on his bed before he comes over and curls into her side. She cups his face looking at the boy knowing that he’s going to break before long. She plus him into her chest as the tears spill.

“It’s okay baby. I got you. Let it all out,” she says, rubbing his back up and down.

“I just don’t want it to be over yet,” he says after he calms down.

“I know, baby. But you will come back next year and it will be even better. Plus these boys will always be with you. Even if you aren’t on the same team anymore,” she says as she wipes away his remaining years.

“I love you,” he says. He’s known it for a while but he’s never told her before.

“I love you too,” she says. He pulls her closer to him and the two lay down and cuddle on the bed. The two take a nap before he goes to get dinner with the boys and she goes back to Ohio. 

The rest of the school year goes by fast and they spend a week together at the Duke’s before she makes her way back home. She bonds with Alyssa and the two of them become good friends. Y/N and Dylan spend a lot of time with each other even with all of the other people around. Once the week is up she starts her drive home. They don’t see eachother until he has training camp with Tampa. He invites her down and the two spend every free second together until they both have to part ways to go back to college.

The first few weeks of college are good. Since Tyler goes to Ohio she can go home with him whenever Dylan is home to make it seem less obvious. Everything is going good until one day in mid-November when she gets a knock on her door from Scooter.

“Hi, Scooter, what's up?” She asks, a little confused, why her brother’s teammate is at her door.

“Look your brother might be too busy to notice his captain duties but don’t think it’s slipped past me young lady,” he says as he sits down on her couch.

“I’m sorry what?” she asks confused about what he’s even talking about.

“You and Duker,” he says smiling and watching as all the color drains from her face. How could he have found out? She and Dylan were very careful. He only gave her sweatshirts that could be mistaken for his brothers if anything happened. Both of them had a long talk over fall break and with Jake being captain they didn’t want to tell him just yet. She sits down on the bed and runs a hand through her hair.

“How did you figure it out?” she asks.

“Well, for one Ty’s always over here,” he says.

“Wait, Ty?”

“Yeah, Duker? Tyler Duke, who else could it be? Unless. You wouldn’t date someone from our rival school?”

“I um well you see.”

“You’re seriously dating Dylan Duke? Do I even want to know how you met?”

“Please don’t tell Jake. I’ve been trying to figure out when to tell him and I can never find a time when both me and Dylan are together.”

“How long?”

“Nine months.”

“So you’ve been dating since the last time we played them?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that was unexpected.”

“Please don’t tell Jake.”

“I won’t but you are gonna have to tell him sooner rather than later.”

“I know Scoot. I know.”

She calls Dylan that night and they agree the next time they play each other they are gonna tell Jake. That game comes faster than they would have liked it. By a lot. Dylan scores 2 goals but they still lose. They go to brunch the next day and they two have never felt more nervous in their lives than they did when Jake sits down at the table.

“Hey Dylan, nice goals last night but what are you doing with my sister?” Jake says looking between the two. He watches as the two engage in a wordless conversation before she looks at her brother.

“Okay. The two of us are dating,” she says looking at her brother.

“How?” he questions looking between the two.

“We met last season at an ice cream shop. I ran into her and she gave me her number so we could get coffee the next morning. I asked her to be my girlfriend when she came to my home game when you guys played us last year,” Dylan says, gripping her hand.

“You’ve been together for how long?” Jake asks.

“Just under 11 months,” she says.

“Okay so this was unexpected,” Jake sits back in his chair as his eyes dart between the two teenagers. 

“Look I’m sorry we waited so long to tell you. At first, we didn’t say anything because we didn’t know how long this was going to last. Then you got the ‘C’ and we both kinda freaked out. Ohio and Michigan hate each other,” she says.

“Yeah, I wish you told me sooner. I’m your big brother but I understand and I forgive you. But Duker you break her heart and you’re a dead man,” Jake says after a minute.

“If I ever hurt her I’ll turn myself in,” Dylan says.

“Now that that’s settled let’s eat. I’m hungry,” Jake says, opening up a menu. Dylan squeezes her hand under the table before letting go to look at the menu. After brunch, they go their separate ways and Dylan and Y/N take their pregame nap before she helps him get ready. She sends him on his way but not before she steals his extra jersey. She sits by some of the girlfriends of the Michigan player who all give her a look before she tells them she finally told her brother. They all laugh because they thought she was trying to get someone killed or something. Michigan ends up winning the game and she celebrates by getting ice cream with her boyfriend at the shop where they met. She drops him off at his hotel with the promise that she would pick him up as soon as room checks were done. Coach who was already way ahead of him just sends him on his way.

“So what do you want to do?” she asks her boyfriend.

“Honestly I just want to cuddle you,” he says sheepishly.

“Well good thing I have a whole room to myself plus a queen-sized bed,” she laughs as she drives to her house. They get there and change into more comfortable clothes before she lays down. She has about 5 seconds to breathe before the brunette boy jumps on top of her. He grabs her hand and places it on his head. She shakes her head before scratching his head. After a few minutes, the boy is sleeping. She gently shoves him off her body before she grabs the remote and turns her tv on. She falls asleep not long after.

The morning of the family skate is chaotic. First Dylan forgets to set their alarm then Y/N forgets her skates. Then to make things even worse Tyler misses the bus so he has to ride with the couple. They make it there in record time and everything goes just fine. The two make their way on the ice before she places a chaste kiss on his lips. She smiles at him before she makes her way to her family. She skates with them for a little while before making her to the Duke family. When she gets there Alyssa welcomes her with open arms before passing her off to the rest of the family. Dylan grabs her hand and leads her around the ice making a few laps before they stop for pictures. The two get a few pictures before she goes back to her family once again.

“Dude it’s not even funny how whipped you are for her,” Tyler says running into his brother.

“Tyler it’s called love and when you get a girlfriend you will understand,” Alyssa says as she shakes her head at her brother. After the family skate, Y/N gets lunch with her family and then goes to spend time with the Dukes. They get dinner and afterward, she goes to the hotel room she is sharing with Alyssa. The girls gossip for a little while before Alyssa admits that she hopes Y/N and Dylan stay together long-term. The next morning they all get and get ready for the face-off on the lake. Y/N gets ready with Alyssa wearing one of the beanies they made plus one of her brother's Ohio hockey sweatshirts. She spends some time with them before going back to sit with her family for the 2nd period. She sits with them until there are 10 minutes in the 3rd period and goes back to the Duke family crowd. She sits down and watches the rest of the game. She’s happy Ohio won but sad her boyfriend and his team lost. After the game, she gets dinner with her family before they leave to go back home. She rejoins the Dukes and spends the rest of the night in her boyfriend's arms.

When Ohio came to play Michigan everyone was expecting them to win. That didn’t stop Y/N from proudly wearing her boyfriend's jersey. She watched the game and it was clear after the 2nd period Michigan is miraculously going to win. What’s not clear is if her boyfriend is going back on this ice after the hit he took. She’s on the edge of her seat waiting for him to either start his next shift or go back to the locker room. Eventually, the game comes to an end and she jumps up cheering for Michigan. She watches as the boys skate around and the arena empties. She goes to the locker room to say goodbye to her brother and Tyler who are most likely going back tonight before she goes to find her boyfriend.

“Hi pretty girl,” Dylan says, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Hi bubs. How are you feeling? That was a little bit of a rough hit you took?” she asks.

“The athletic trainer said I needed cuddles with my girlfriend to heal,” he smirks.

“Okay lover boy let’s get going,” she says, shaking her head at the boy. They go to his room and turn on the Minnesota vs MSU game. The two cuddle into each other before falling asleep happy to be with each other.

[bylertruther]

random thought, but i feel like putting all of the blame on karen for the fact tht mike doesn't open up to her is a little ...................... (insert vague hand motion here bc i can't think of a fitting, not-childish eloquent word) ????

yes she's the parent and yes she does have to make the effort to create an environment where he feels welcome to share and talk to her, but karen cannot force mike to open up. mike doesn't respond well to his parents being overbearing and honestly he doesn't react well to ANYONE coming at him head-on no matter how close they are to him.

mike needs to come to people on his own terms when he's ready and collected himself. and karen knows that! she literally says that to ted when ted offers to go talk to him in s1 because they know will's death and disappearance is hard on him. and no i don't think they should've taken away his toys aka doled out a punishment when mike wasn't cooperating in s2, because that's simply Not how you handle such a situation, but they did it because they thought well if us being "soft" isn't working then maybe us putting our foot down will get through to him. it's not like they did it bc they thought to themselves "lmao fuck that guy 🖕".

and even though mike doesn't seek support through verbal means like nancy does, he does seek comfort from her through physical affection! and karen does give it to him! whenever he feels like he's lost will, he goes to her and breaks down in her arms and she drops everything to go hold him.

the point is that when mike does go to her, she's there. they all care about and love each other in that family, including ted. karen and ted are not plot-involved parents like joyce and hopper are, and we're not going to get a deep dive into any of the other families unless it's relevant to the plot. ... as we've literally already seen before?

and ted is the way he is because he's written as the kind of father that spends all day at work to provide for his family and gets home and just wants to watch tv and eat dinner and go to sleep and repeat that ad nauseam for the rest of his life bc tht's just what you do and you only have so much energy (smth smth silly little play). i'm not saying he's father of the year and no one should ever comment on his involvement with his kids, but... that's just his role to play in this story.

he's clueless abt the crazy shit that goes down in hawkins the same way that everyone else is clueless abt it but that doesn't make him a bad guy lol. there's purposeful juxtaposition of him chillin' watching the news cover everything up while joyce and hopper and the kids are out there losing their minds almost dying fighting monsters saving the world etc etc. it's supposed to be comical. he lives here and he has no idea what's really happening, unlike us and the central characters of the show.

not every family has to look or act like the byers or sinclair family to be Good. you can try your best to get someone to talk to you, but they're not going to do it if they don't want to. mike is a hothead that doesn't often share or even totally understand what he's feeling, and if he does, he rarely opens up all the way. he still keeps certain things to himself and only reveals just enough to achieve his goals. it's mainly when he's apologizing over something big that he manages to be open, and that isn't even something that happens often or outside of a situation that necessitates it.

and the whole "not knowing exactly where your kids are, but knowing they're with their friends somewhere and that they'll be home later tonight" isn't a sign of abuse or that they don't care. that's what life was like before the technology that we have now, and that level of freedom was the POINT. it's a big part of WHY the duffers chose the eighties. such a story wouldn't work with our current technology. that isn't even an experience exclusive to those that are 30+ or whatever. i'm in my twenties and i remember my childhood being like that.

like. i don't think it's as black and white of an issue as some people suggest. the wheelers haven't been perfect parents, but they're not malicious and they do love their children, even if they clearly don't always understand them. saying that karen and ted don't care about or love their children and that they're on the same level of neglect as lonnie is just... i mean. what?

[jantea]

Anyone want a sneak peak at my latest one shot? It's a mermaid au, dadzawa & Izuku fic, I'll attach everything I have written so far.

The Last Guppy and his Grumpy Fish Dad

Mermaid au

...

Izuku stood at the edge of the bridge All Might had left him on, staring blankly down at the murky water below.

Midoriya Izuku had just had the worst day of his life.

He was thinking maybe it would be for the best if it was his last, as well.

Diagnosed with an invisible quirk at four years old, Izuku's life had slowly but surely been losing meaning ever sense.

The sick thing was that he did, definitely have a quirk. The doctor had said as much. They had seen the quirk factor in his genetic sequence with their own eyes. But it was an invisible quirk, which as the doctor said, "-means it's either something so small as to be unnoticeable, or with such an obscure activation requirement, that it is unlikely to ever be discovered." So Izuku definitely did have a quirk.

But if you can't show it to the officials at the registrar's office, you're marked as 'quirkless' in your documents. If you can't show it off to your friends on the playground, you're deemed a lier on top of that. So Izuku had lived his whole life as if he was quirkless, because effectively he was.

The life of the quirkless was...unkind, to say the least. Especially for a quirkless kid who dreamed of achieving a goal that even most quirked kids balked at, when it came down to it.

Izuku could almost...almost understand. The other kids, they were all thinking; If this kid without a quirk can do what I couldn't do with a quirk, then I will have to stop lying to myself. I will have to admit that I failed not because my quirk wasn't good enough, but because I wasn't good enough. It wasn't a palpable truth to swallow. It was easier to just beat Izuku up. Easier to crush Izuku's dreams than allow him to force them to swallow that truth.

But Izuku would have liked to think the adults would above that kind of thing. But the world seemed to live to disappoint Izuku. And Kaachan...

Kaachan.

...

And then there was today. The worst day of Izuku's life. He didn't even know what to say or feel about it all. It was just a barbed wire tangle of feelings closing up his throat that he didn't even knew where to begin to untangling, what to even name it.

...

And for the first time in Izuku's life. His lungs filled completely with water.

Only BLANK people die by drowning. Such an obscure way to die, so unlikely to happen...

Such an obscure activation requirement, so unlikely to ever be discovered...

But at that moment, the moment there was more water in Izuku's lungs than air, something relaxed in his throat that had always previously been tense. Water stirred gently in the area around his neck, where the slits of gills had opened up. Izuku's chest expanded rapidly as his lungs ballooned with water, his body so suddenly beginning to process the oxygen from it after long, agonizing minuets of starvation, that it all rushed straight to his head at once. A trickle of blood escaped his nose, quickly dispersed in the water, and his eyes rolled back in his head.

Everything went dark.

He wasn't awake to see the rest of the transformation that overtook him then.

...

It had been nearly two hundred years since a mer had successfully reproduced.

Shouta himself was slightly older than that, at two hundred and five. He had just barely made the cut, before the last of their breeding grounds became too polluted to cradle their species eggs.

The mer's relationship with humans had always been tumultuous at best, according to Shouta's elders. Mer would eat humans, humans would capture mer, and later jewelry made from brightly colored scales would be found on their ship wrecks. So humans and mer had never got along well, historically. (except for when they got along a little too well, as the many half breeds roaming the seas could attest)

But starting about three hundred years ago, things began to change. Wooden boats turned to steel, propelled by oil and gasoline instead of wind. Ten times more difficult for a mer, or even a team of mer, to take down if the humams started causing problems. Then came the oil spills. The plastics. The chemicals. The trash.

Every year, the water tasted fouler and fouler, and every year, the already thin, jelly shells of the eggs of their species got even thinner from the pollutants in the water. The numbers of healthy young being born dropping more and more. Shouta's year had only produced ten healthy mer, and the next year had eight, and the next five, and so on until their breeding grounds ran dry, their eggs darkening with filth and crumbling away before ever nearing the hatching stage.

Shouta had almost been too young to remember, but how could anyone ever forget the weeping and wailing of those would be mothers and fathers...

There was almost war over it, Shouta had heard. But about the same time they began putting together that their declining birth rates were happening in tandem with the increasing complexity of the human's filthy creations, the humans started doing something else new.

They began developing abilities. "Quirks"

The already daunting task of fighting the modern human, with their metal boats and their barbed nets and their harpoons, became even more impossible.

The only counter the mer could bring to bear was their half breeds-mer who had at least one parent or grandparent that was human, and therefore had a chance of inheriting their own quirk from their human bloodlines. One such was Shouta's friend Hizashi, whose grandmother on his mother's side was said to have been human. He had developed the ability to breath air, as most half breeds did, but also a unique quirk, as was less common.

...

So needless to say, the last thing Shouta expected to encounter while out and about was a mer younger than two hundred...much less the gangly limbed guppy he was looking at right now, who couldn't be older than fifty, if that.

Strange. A miracle, even. Shouta swished his tail and drifted closer, sniffing curiously at seaweed green strands of hair.

Huh. So that's what the elders meant when they tried to describe "baby smell".

...why was Shouta licking the kid?

And he was, without his conscious approval, his long, barbed tongue had darted out, licking through coarse locks of green hair, cleaning out dust, debris and blood. No regard for their lack of close relation.

Mer brushing each other's hair was by no means strange. It was generally one of their favorite past times, and one of the easiest ways to socialize. But there was an order to things. Combs for acquaintances, claws for friends, and their barbed tongues were reserved for close family members and mates, since the act left a thick scent mark behind on the other. Shouta should definitely stop, or someone was going to get the idea that this kid was his...

...but maybe in a few minutes, he thought as his eyes grew steadily blacker with his expanding pupil, and he started up a deep purr to comfort the pup with as he ran claws and tongue over their scalp.

...

He reached the edge of his territory, the corner that brushes up against Hizashi's territory. One side, the left side, of a large purple rock bears Shouta's scent mark, and the other side bears Hizashi's.

He hesitates where normally he would swim straight on down the left towards his cave.

His cave. It was small. Shouta usually liked it that way. He didn't like to collect a lot of baubles or invite friends over the way Hizashi did, so he didn't need the space, and the small size made it less desirable to others, so less chance he would have to fight for it...though that became less and less of a problem every year as their population declined.

It was also a bit small for both Shouta and the pup though.

His eyes drifted to the right.

Hizashi's cave was big. Big enough for a small family. He kept the bedding fresh and green and large...it would make for perfect camouflage for his seaweed colored pup. Hizashi strung baubles from his ceiling; shiny, interesting, colorful things that a pup would love to look at and maybe play with. Hizashi also kept his winter stores well stocked, with more food than he knew he'd need, and in plenty of variety to keep a pup's palate satisfied.

Maybe he could ask Hizashi if they could...

Steal it. Shouta thought as his eyes shrank to pinpricks and his tail lashed with excitement and anticipation of a fight. Steal the resources! His brain ordered urgently.

Shouta growled low and deep at the pleasure and relief of giving into his instincts as he rubbed his cheek aggressively against the rival's scent mark on the right side of the dividing rock, and slipped his tailside against it for good measure, more than completely covering the rival's scent with his own.

He did the same to any scent mark they found on the way, as well as clawing over any claiming mark previously made by the rival's claws. He purred with satisfaction as the place began to feel more and more like his own. He knew the feeling wouldn't completely settle until the rival came back and they fought over the change in ownership of the resources and Shouta won; and Shouta would win because the pup's livelihood was on the line and failure was not an option for his pup's safety.

He buried the pup to wait outside as he scented over the inside of the rival's cave-the place that stank the most of the other. Shouta didn't want the pup smelling of the rival. The other might try to attack the pup, or to steal it. The bedding was the worst, the rival's scent seeped deeply into it. Simply covering it with Shouta's own scent wouldn't be enough. He wanted to tear it apart, shred it with his teeth and claws. But he needed the bedding. He needed the bedding for his pup. It was perfect for the pup-large enough for both him and Shouta to sleep on, clean, well made and well kept, and the perfect color to camouflage the pup's green scales with.

Shouta kept the bedding.

After laying the unconscious pup down in it, Shouta alternated between aggressively licking the pup and trying not to growl at them for starting to smell like the rival. Shouta would compromise by turning his head away to growl at the entrance to the den whenever he felt the urge.

...

Hizashi comes home to find that his friend Shouta has marked over the scent mark separating their two territories.

At first he thinks it's a joke. He lays a light scent mark overtop Shouta's on the left side of the rock in retaliation, then goes to move in the direction of his own home. He passes closer to his own graffitied scent mark as he goes, and pauses.

The scent mark Shouta left...it doesn't smell playful, but aggressive. You can't even tell what was there before.

Hizashi's fins flare instinctively in returned challenge and aggression, but he forces them to smooth back out. There would be some explanation for this. Shouta wasn't that kind of guy.

The deeper Hizashi swims into his territory, the more alarmed and agitated he becomes. Scenting over a single border marker could be seen as a joke or a tease or even a message, but scenting over every marker in his territory is a legitimate declaration of war. He growls outright when he finds the first of his claw marks scratched out by Shouta's own. He glares at the marks as he growls, the sound thrumming and vibrating violently through the water with the power of his quirk. He eventually manages to pull himself away from the sight by reminding himself that his claw marks are farther apart, meaning his hand is bigger, meaning he is bigger. This logic pacifies his hindbrain enough that he can think again, and he cuts his growling off enough to start swimming again.

He gets within sight and calling distance of his home, and he starts up his growling again at finding his scratch marks around the entrance scratched over as well. There are small disturbances in the sand around the cave, one place where Hizashi can see some of his things half buried to muffle their smell-things that would have been difficult to clean of his smell, like his hairbrush collection, some fabrics, and some sponges.

The other disturbed spot looks like something large was buried there and then dug up. Something about half the size of the average mer, it looked like.

A familiar return growl starts up out of Hizashi's cave, more aggressive than he has ever heard directed at himself before, and Hizashi cranks a bit of his quick behind his vocals to overwhelm the other's sound. Small rocks and dust particles are disturbed by the shaking of his Voice, before Hizashi suddenly remembers that he was supposed to try to talk to Shouta before he goes in guns blazing. Shouta is his friend. Something is obviously very wrong if Shouta is challenging Hizashi for territory.

It's too late. Shouta is already hovering at the entrance to the cave, and just looking at him Hizashi can tell that his friend is completely gone. His black pupils are feral, agressive pinpricks in his coal black eyes, his shoulders are up around his ears to protect his gills; something he wouldn't feel the need to do in anything less than a life or death fight. His belly is kept close to the ground, hugging the rocks to protect the only part of Hizashi's friend not covered in spines. And the spines themselves were out in full force, raised to their full extension, brushing against the sides and top of the cave entrance, creating an impenetrable fan of poison spikes.

Hizashi forces himself to cut out the growling, and Shouta's growl lessens in intensity. Their eyes meet, and there is no recognition in Shouta's snarl. Hizashi's tail lashes back and forth in a movement that churns up water but doesn't propel him; a sign of imminent violence.

...

"Wait...ARE YOU BROODING?!?"

Brooding...a behavior most commonly seen in the mothers and sometimes fathers of recently laid or recently hatched eggs, or recently endangered children. Though it's a state of mind that can technically strike any mer who is feeling particularly protective and parental and feral about it. It can prompt the parent to act rather irrationally, hoarding or even stealing resources for their child, acting aggressive towards anyone in their space

"What are you even brooding over, Shouta?! There's no babies...!" Hizashi wailed, dragging his hands down his face with exasperation.

...

Hizashi goes to Shouta's cave and grabs Bastard, Shouta's catfish. He marks the fish lightly on the head with the scent glands from his wrist, and then heads back to his own cave.

He finds his previous offerings have once again been accepted. Another good sign.

The catfish wiggles and meows loudly to be put down. Shouta peeks over the lip of the cave entrance, and this time raises his whole head and shoulders to be seen. His pupils are still thin slits, but his shoulders are relaxed, his neck unguarded, his spines only at the alert attention position, and not actively aggressive.

He still growls, though it almost sounds more out of obligation at this point.

Hizashi keeps his eyes and fins lowered still, but he does visibly press his scent into the catfish's side with his wrist again before he lets it go.

Bastard swims straight up to Shouta, unafraid, and immediately starts biting at Shouta's fingers, like the little bastard fish he is. Hizashi really doesn't understand why Shouta doesn't eat that thing. Bastard would absolutely eat him, if he was big enough.

But Shouta only sniffs at Bastard's side, then finally purrs. The first actively positive sound Hizashi has heard from his friend sense this whole thing started. Shouta starts petting Bastard on the opposite side that Hizashi did, finally not feeling the need to cover Hizashi's scent marks, and the fish purrs back at his cat dad.

Hizashi sighs in both relief and exasperation, a tension leaving his shoulders. "...Shouta, I love you man, but I swear to god if it turns out you kicked me out of my home because you're brooding over a baby catfish, I'm going beat the shit out of you." He mutters, almost more to himself, but he has a voice that carries.

"Don't curse in front of the baby!" Shouta literally hisses, head snapping back to Hizashi, having apparently come out of it enough to be a little verbal at this point.

"Shouta." Hizashi said very calmly, even as he massaged the bridge of his nose with two fingers and breathed deeply in the pause. "I would like to see the baby."

...

Hizashi almost doesn't see what Shouta has hidden in Hizashi's bed of reeds, it blends in so well with the green. But the pale expanse of a back marred by both old scars and some fresher wounds gives it away on the second pass of Hizashi's eyes. And it isn't just an under grown adult mer, Hizashi can tell by the smell. Something clean and pure and indescribably young that makes Hizashi's hind brain scream protect!

"Shouta." Hizashi says, rather calmly he thinks. "Heart of my heart, love of my life, where the hell did you find a WHOLE ASS CHILD?!?"

"...mine." Shouta grumbles almost petulantly as he swishes his tail and swims over to the goddam child he has stashed in Hizashi's cave.

"I can smell that!" Hizashi says, voice going high pitched. It's true, Hizashi can smell from here that Shouta has the guppy marked from head to tail toe as if it was his own flesh and blood, with no other family marks on the kid...actually no, the kid smells faintly of Hizashi as well, from sleeping in Hizashi's bedding. That must have driven Shouta crazy while he was feral. Hizashi is thankful that Shouta didn't shred all the hard work he put into his bedding and bury it outside while he was in that state.

Shouta lays himself out in his favorite defensive position over the guppy's back, chest down to cover vital weak points and spines fanning lazily outward all around him in a forest of poison spikes. Shouta's chin rests on the pup's head, and his bigger bulk completely covers the pup's softer and less camouflaged torso. The pup almost completely disappears from view in this position, their seaweed green scales and hair blending right into the bedding wherever Shouta's own body doesn't cover.

"I'm sorry." Shouta grumbles into the guppy's hair, eyes downcast. "Sorry I went feral on you. And stole your den." Were the tips of Shouta's ears turning pink?

...

"You knoooow..." Hizashi said slowly, a smirk growing on his face. "If the guppy really is your's now...you're gonna have to baby proof your spines..." And that smile was now a shit eating grin.

Shouta hissed at him.

It was something Shouta had to do every time he got friendly enough with someone that they reached the 'cuddle' stage of closness. It was also one of the reasons Shouta was so reluctant to make new friends. He would have to 'baby proof' his spines until both he and the new mer in question were comfortable and confident enough around eachothers anatomy and movements that they could be reasonably certain neither would accidentally cause the other mer to get pricked by Shouta's many poisonous spines. Shouta probably wouldn't mind this too much in theory, buuuuuut...

"I'll grab the sponges!" Hizash cackled as he dashed out of the den entrance in a whirlwater of movement before Shouta could further make his opinion known. He paused outside amd stuck his had back in long enough to say, "Hey since you two are going to be living here now, I'm just going to grab the sponge from your old bedding rather than hunt all around for fresh ones."

Shouta threw a bauble at him and growled. Hizashi barely ducked in time, and he dashed away laughing.

Shouta probably wouldn't mind losing the use of his spines too much in theory, but in practice...

"Hold still...!" Hizashi grunted from the effort of holding Shouta's powerful tail down with one arm, as he fitted a palm sized bit of torn off sponge onto the last of the spines on Shouta's tail with the other. "There! That's the last of the ones on your tail!" Hizashi says cheefully. He is rewarded with Shouta flicking one of the spines on his tail straight into his face, a move that ordinarily would have left a deep scratch filled with poison on Hizashi's cheek, but in this state, it only harmlessly baps the sponge covering the point at the end of the spine off of Hizashi's nose.

"Hey!" He whines, rubbing his nose as if wounded. "I'm trying to help you know! I know you can't reach all of these spines on your own!"

Shouta pouts.

...in practice, nullifying the danger of Shouta's spines makes him look absolutely ridiculous beyond belief.

When Hizashi is done fitting ball sized bits of sponge on the tips of every spike on Shouta's body, he looks like a sea urchin gone wrong. The lionfish mer broods (pouts) and growls (whines) while Hizashi laughs himself sick for five minuets straight, catches another glance at Shouta's face, and then starts off all over again. This repeats itself several times.

...

"Shouta, I need to know if we're going to have some enraged parent tracking that kid back to us. I also need to know if you MURDERED SOMEONE AND STOLE THEIR CHILD."

...

Izuku wakes slowly. He blinks his eyes open to near darkness, the only illumination something glowing dimly overhead, the light weak like glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars. There are two large sources of warmth bracketing him in on either side, and one smaller one sitting on his chest.

Izuku looks down blurrily to see what is sitting on him.

A catfish is resting on his chest. Izuku can only barely identify the fish by its long fishy whiskers, because it has a very odd colouration for a catfish-black and white and orange. Almost like a koi fish...or a calico cat.

The catfish opens its big fishy mouth and meows. The sound is exactly what would come out of a real cat's mouth.

Izuku decides to go back to sleep. The catfish sits on his chest and purrs as he closes his eyes.

[destinysbounty]

🔪

[Send me an emoji and I'll give you a headcanon related to it!]

Here's a thought: what if, while they were Krux's captives, Ray and Maya had also created the Staff of Elements as well?

In order to explain my reasoning on this one, let's first list off everything we know to be veritable, canonical fact:

Ray and Maya were members of the original Elemental Alliance, and were key players in both the Serpentine War and the Battle for All of Time

When Nya was roughly three years old, Krux kidnapped Ray and Maya, and forced them to build weapons/armor for his Vermillion Army

(This next point here is a bit iffy since it's technically in the realm of 'could be canon', but for now we're gonna assume it's just standard canon) Chen and Clouse played a significant role in the downfall of the Time Twins. This excerpt from a letter written by Wu in "Way of the Departed" explains it best:

"It is now, aging in bed, that I have put the full puzzle together. Master Chen, when he realized his defeat was imminent, had Clouse use dark magic to motivate an idea in Krux and Acronix: that their elemental powers were superior, and that they could win the fight Chen had just lost. He let them know of a secret nest of eggs from the Great Devourer. After 40 years of preparation they put the eggs to evil use: The Vermillion. You know the rest."

Ray and Maya are responsible for forging the Time Blades, which were used to seal away Krux and Acronix's elemental powers

The Time Blades are made of Chronosteel. The Staff of Elements is also made of Chronosteel

Okay, here's where things get a bit circumstantial, so bear with me for a sec.

Chen apparently knew, or at least hinted that he knew, about Ray and Maya's fate. Of course, it's entirely likely that he might have been bluffing as a way to manipulate Kai. But I'd like to entertain the idea that he was somehow telling the truth, and knew exactly what had happened to Kai's parents

Keep in mind that thing about Chen and Clouse using dark magic to twist the Time Twins into villainy. Also keep in mind that Chen and Krux both at some point try to manipulate/mess with Kai by similarly hinting that they knew 'dark secrets' about his parents, and that their war hero legacy wasn't as noble as it's been cracked up to be.

Also also keep in mind that Chen was somehow able to keep track of all the elemental masters - he kept track of them so well, in fact, that he knew Zane was alive and hired Ronin to kidnap him before Zane even had the chance to tell his friends - hell, I'd argue that Chen knew before even Pixal did. And given how collecting the elements was a crucial part of his plan, it makes sense that he'd go to extreme lengths to keep close tabs on everyone. I'm also like 200% sure that Chen used Clouse's magic in order to pull this off.

So with all that setup out of the way, here's how I think it went down:

Chen had been keeping an eye on Krux and Acronix for a while, probably ever since he ordered Clouse to magically corrupt them. So he knew that they'd been cast into a timestream, and he also knew that Krux had slipped out of that timestream 40 years early. Needless to say, he also knew that Krux had taken Ray and Maya prisoner. Gotta keep all those elemental ducks in a row, after all.

Maybe he'd already been planning on using Ray and Maya to further his goals, maybe he'd magically inspired Krux to kidnap them, or maybe he'd seen what Krux was up to and merely jumped on the opportunity as it arose. But either way, I'd like to posit the idea that at some point Chen reached out to Krux with a request. A commission of sorts. He wanted Krux to have his captives create a weapon that could harvest multiple elemental powers.

And by consequence, Ray and Maya were forced to make Chen's Staff of Elements.

I have no canon evidence to back this up, and this argument is entirely circumstantial, but can you imagine if it were true though? At the very least it'd make that scene where Kai gets corrupted by the staff just the tiniest bit angstier.

Think about it. Kai has spent his whole life mourning and missing his parents, wondering what happened to them and struggling to fill in the hole their absence left behind - and unbeknownst to him, the very weapon in his hands, the staff corrupting him, the thing that's been hurting him and his friends, was made by those same parents. At long last he has something of his parents in his hands, and he doesn't even know it. And it's being used against him. And it's coercing him into hurting his loved ones.

On the flipside, Ray and Maya accepted captivity in order to protect their children. Yet it was due to their captivity that their own creation caused their son to suffer.

Idk. It's just something to think about I guess.

[isosymmetry]

The Image (as compulsion art)

Written May 25th, 2022. Partially edited for clarity, still referential writing. Some information is outdated or incorrect.

So yeah, compulsion art… I've never been open about OC-like stuff I have since forever but it only ever really took a future epiphany for me to solve the question: Why did I make so much stuff in 2020? While I spent a long time trying to find out what motivated me through that time to produce as much as I've never done before, I thought it was just an unattainable inspiration that came from some unknown divine source, but not really.

The truth was more down to earth and negative: it was a compulsion caused by extreme stress. A lot of things happened that year, and it was difficult to cope. While half of my work was positive and from a place where I felt free to experiment and explore as an artist, at some point (around the time I started college) my art also became either destructive, or a consequence of a negative environment. That's how I formed some drawing habits, specifically about Stanley.

It's not a bad thing to draw to cool off from a rough day with a sketch, but what happened to me was a feedback loop that grew as my presence grew in general. It's not bad to get praise, but for me it fed the rumination. Note that I'm speaking from pre-incident. While the cycle of rumination could have ran on its own until I get tired, outside perception motivated me to dive deeper into that to the point of exhaustion, regardless. This is around January 2021. Numerous personal issues have shown themselves, and I was also exhausted from finishing my last semester. The exhaustion crept deep into my psyche, where slowly I notice that I am not producing as much as I did in 20. I paid it no mind, as I needed the rest.

I'm going to skim over the escalation that happened last year and instead focus on how this manifested from interest to something that was pretty much obsession. Also... this isn't the only compulsion I have. This one just makes sense to bring up right now.

The reason I'm aware of this is because of where I am now. I'm still susceptible to all that rumination, only that it actually appears as it is: a maladaptive strategy. It's only more obvious because the feelings are negative, but it was the same pattern from before: an image, and the compulsion to make that image, usually caused by an external force or trigger. While I've had a pretty good tolerance threshold for the past few days, exhaustion and other physical limits can still cause the same discomfort. Why is it just him? Does it apply to Irene? In the end, you can't justify why a compulsion is a compulsion. He was repetitively drawn to the point where the image was everywhere, which had no end in sight. Two years later, it's still pretty much there. I just don't have the time to do it.

While I can't justify why I did all this, I can say that it wasn't done out of trying to fix the character or to make him perfect. It was simply a pattern that needed to occur. It was simply something that had to keep existing, and over time, so many angles, faces, emotions of this same image have been produced by me. There was never an end goal of being recognized or anything. That's also why I was unfazed about "losing" credit or credibility.

With regards to him turning into an icon of consumption, yes, some of it had shown up in my rumination. However, my perspective is completely different from the critique of capitalism the new stuff is pulling off, the concept of making a thing better over and over and over. Mine was simply powered by mostly by an illness and virtually just one month of pay for me. My story is still oddly personal. I'm not the person who can afford to do nerd capitalism and buy collector's items and other commodities. I am still behind the scenes and beneath the outer greater narrative of most of it. Sure, maybe we can talk about distribution of global workers, but that's another discussion for another time that doesn't faze me and is mostly irrelevant.

Conclusion: No, I still have no idea how to rid of this, especially since the wound is still open. My only hope is focusing on how I react to bullshit right now. Nevertheless, I probably won't let it consume me more than it already did. No, Irene is a more complicated case, and I made him. He's not an image forced into my mind.

Tangent: how do you balance your interest in a way that doesn't harm you? While you can't prevent being [psychologically] obsessed about an intrusive thought, usually I just do mindfulness over my actions. If I let it be, it's also just me STILL trying to process that entire shebang. If an obsession disrupts your everyday routine/life, has been present for a long amount of time (think above a few weeks), and tends to be your distraction from a stressful environment, PLEASE step back and try to see if you need mental help... Or, just some people to help check on your well-being.

End of text

Late note: I don't want people just thinking that the image is just a compulsion. It's more complicated than that. It just started that way.

[chaoslulled]

❛ you don’t want me, you just want to kiss somebody. ❜ ( during the dumb baby years... )

Sometimes, missions get boring  ––  and you wind up talking about random things, things that teenagers talk about.  Things that come up because you're boys and you're teens, and underneath being sorcerers and dealing with curses, they are still human.  Despite the things that set them apart, that is the crux of it.  They are still human.  And being human means that human emotions and feelings come up.  It means that his tongue has been winding around the top of a lollipop for the past fifteen minutes as Suguru leans against the back of the bench, smoke curling from his lips and into the skies above, further polluting Tokyo.

Satoru thinks maybe it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. 

He doesn't say things like that out loud though.  They are friends  ––  best friends, and the thought of ambling over lines that naturally come with that makes his chest feel tight.  There's a whisper inside of him that aches to get closer, to step into his space, to curl into Suguru and feel the warmth of him seeping through his clothes and into his own.  Sometimes he thinks of his cologne when he's trying not to, tries not to think of the way that his smoke clings to his clothes, too.  The way that Suguru is all over him  ––  a marking of being his, even though they have never spoken about it.

So naturally, when the topic of kissing comes up, Satoru does something stupid  ––  he brags.  He brags because it's easy to do; he's a naturally good looking guy and has had his share of kisses behind trees and in classrooms when no one was looking.  He's taken them as thank you's after missions and grinned at pretty boys behind the counters of gas stations.  He's snuck his numbers in at bakeries and batted his blue eyes and gotten more pastries than he wants to admit for free.

Satoru is ambitious in that way.  He does it to forget.  He does it to forget that the one person that he wants to be kissing is Suguru.  That he pictures the lavender eyed brunette next to him more times than he wants to admit.

Because you don't tell your best friend that.  You write it off as hormones and intrusive thoughts and move on from it.  You don't get into the intricacies of it.  That's not something that he needs to confront.

Besides, he has his hands full of annoying clan meetings  ––  assessing his powers, Yaga vouching for them, and another check being written so that the school gets more funding.  It's fine that way  ––  with his mind drifting during the meeting, eyes glancing out the window, going toward lavender eyes and upturned lips and the wonder of if they taste like the cigarettes he smokes or not.  And it's a hand coming down in front of him and jarring him out of his fantasy, a pout on his lips and attention forced.

They sit here though  ––  they're waiting for Mei Mei to call back; she's out training with Shoko today and they're supposed to meet up.  They had already exorcised their curse, which means they get to sprawl themselves out on the bench and indulge in coffee and cigarettes and the endless amount of sweets that Satoru's begun to accumulate.

He wonders again if Suguru tastes like cigarettes.  He wonders if he could like the taste.  He wonders if Suguru would like the sweetness on his tongue.

Teeth bite into his lip for a moment as he tries to chase the thought away like he has every time before.  His head is full of thoughts  ––  too many of them to truly settle on.  So he brings his attention back toward his back of sweets and sorts through them again; never really picking one out, just giving his hands something to do.  It keeps them from reaching out, which is his main goal.

〝  He wasn't a good kisser though.  I'm starting to think boys just suck at kissing.  〞  Another package moved, sorted past the extra packs of smokes within it.   〝  I mean, I could kiss you.  Are you a good kisser?  You could change my mind and make me not give up on boys altogether.  〞

Eyes glance up over his sunglasses as he gives him a toothy grin, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.  It's a stupid suggestion  ––  it's stupid and it had just came out before he could stop it.  His heart is pounding  ––  he can hear it in his ears.  He thinks that maybe there will be some weird romcom moment where Suguru turns to him and tugs him close by his neck and they kiss and fall in love within seconds.

He needs to stop watching those with Shoko.  This is a stupid thought to even remotely indulge in.

Suguru's mouth opens and he watches the way that his fingers grip the filter of the cigarette, exasperation in his tone when he speaks.

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭.

Tongue presses up against the inside of his cheek.  Did he truly think that there was going to be some grand declaration of love?  That they'd embrace and kiss and live happily ever after?   It was never likely.  Satoru doesn't even know why he lets it get to him.

A sharp pull of a breath through his nose as he feels his heart plummet in his chest.  He doesn't need this right now, popping the lollipop deeper into his mouth, curling his tongue around it as he begs the sweet sugar in it to take away the black cloud that's slowly descended over him.  He hates himself  ––  he shouldn't have said anything.

Because why would Suguru want someone like him?  He is nothing but narcissism in the form of a white haired sorcerer with too blue eyes, ones that see too far and too much all at once.  He is a mess of bratty energy that makes his heart ache in his chest and his family write checks while he holds a black credit card between his fingers.  He is clan born and clan money  ––  Suguru is down to earth.  Suguru knows what it's like to come from a village and knows what it's like to work to protect.

Satoru has had everything handed to him.  Suguru has worked for all he has.

Maybe that's why he feels so petulant about all of this.  Suguru is someone he can't have.  He can have anything his heart desires, just not the very being his heart really wants.

He lets out a scoff, plays it off as he leans back on the bench once more and sprawls his long legs out, almost tripping a woman who's running by.   〝  I think you've just confirmed my statement.  Boys just suck.  〞

Tongue that's been dyed blue from the sucker sticks out dramatically, eyes rolling.  He's saved from further humiliation by his phone ringing, Mei Mei's name flashing across the screen.

[talesfromtrigadora]

March Book Reviews

Managed to read seven books this month! I'm still behind on my goal of reading 50 by the end of this year, but this is a big improvement over the last two months. Here's a quick break-down of what I read and what I thought about them.

E.J. Dionne, Jr: Why American's Hate Politics

I've had this book on my TBR for a while, and with this being an election year, it seemed like the right book to kick off the year. The writing was easy to follow and track, despite the large amount of facts, dates, and quotes it relied on. Essentially, it both confirmed my own reasons for not loving politics (it's more of a popularity contest than about actual values) and was (disappointingly/annoyingly/bemusingly) relevant to today's politics despite being written in 1992.

Jim Butcher: Storm Front

I picked up this book a while ago when I learned that "The Dresden Files" TV show was based on this book series. I liked the show, so I figured I would like the book. As it turns out, I did not. While the premise is interesting (magic exists and there are wizards and fancy councils that help keep it in check, very urban fantasy), the MC's first-person narrative is not. He has a very low-misogynistic attitude toward woman that is supposed to be accepted as okay because he's a "nice guy."

Lionnne Wheeler: Cool Papa Bell

I try to switch back and forth between non-fiction and fiction, and in an attempt to get more involved in the town I recently moved to, I've decided that every third book is going to be a library book. This was my first one. It's a very well written biography about James "Cool Papa" Bell, one of the longest playing semi-pro baseball players who never got to play in the major leagues due to Jim Crow laws. He (and several of his team mates) were later added to the Baseball Hall of Fame, but the majority of the book is a very subtly written commentary on the excuses made in the effort to hide our permeating racism during the rise of the Civil Rights Era.

Ernest Cline: Ready Player One

Absolutely loved this book. It was so easy to get through even for someone who's familiarity with video games is essentially nothing. I very much enjoyed the references to the '80s media, and multiple times found myself wanting to look up the music, TV Shows, and movies that were referenced (at least the ones I wasn't already aware of). Maybe my favorite little Easter Egg was the cameo appearance of Will Wheaton (who I have always enjoyed) as the unquestioned leader of the AU.

Erik Larson: The Devil in the White City

This is the second history book I've read from this author and his popularity is well earned. So easy to read and endlessly interesting, I have no regrets of the number of blind books of his I bought before ever actually reading them. This one is about the World's Fair that was held in Chicago at the end of the 1800s in honor of the US's Centennial. It was fascinating to see the trouble that came from it, from the physical struggles of building the fair to the politics that came into play, and also interesting to see how it paired neatly with the rise of H. H. Holmes, one of the most prolific US Serial Killers to this day.

Jeff Abbott: An Ambush of Widows

My rule for my library book choices is to just pick the first book in the fiction/non-fiction section and go from there. Limits the need to think about things too hard and will force me to read things I wouldn't otherwise read. This is definitely one of those books, and at least in this case, I would've been right not to be interested. This book attempts to be a mystery novel and a thriller, and fails at both. While there is a mystery, the eagerness to solve that mystery is quickly lost due to the attitude of the three MCs. The attempt at a thriller is thrown out with the unnecessary development of the "villain." It would've been a more affective novel with only the one MC (Kirsten), far less telling -- especially about things that really didn't need to be said until they became relevant -- and far more showing.

C. Vann Woodward: The Strange Career of Jim Crow

This is another book that has been on TBR for a while. It was such an old copy that unfortunately my reading of it actually destroyed it, so I will need to track down a new copy. Like the first book on this list, it did a good job of summarizing the rise and "fall" of Jim Crow laws. I was intrigued to learn that right after Emancipation, many of the citizens of the South did not have any problem (or at least had limited issues) with integrating with the former slaves. It was only when politics got too involved, that Jim Crow laws started to rise, and they began with disfranchisement essentially because the political parties couldn't play fair and the new black voters got tired of being "won" by the different parties more for their vote than for their actual needs. I can't say I am entirely surprised by this piece of history.

[simplepotatofarmer]

c!techno and his role in the story of the dsmp

**disclaimer: this is the longest analysis i've ever written and i'm so sorry

in the animation 'Ozymandias', sad-ist gives c!techno the role of the traveler from the poem, the one who saw the fall of ozymandias and is thus recounting it. and this is something that has stuck with me for awhile because of how fitting it is for his character.

part one: c!techno is a clear outsider to the dsmp

there's other characters, of course, that aren't 'from' the dream smp in their canon. i'd say a good amount of them fall into that category but with c!techno, there was a clear call to action for him that led him to the dream smp. he came for a reason, for a purpose. techno comes with outside experiences that obviously influence the way he approaches events and people.

'don't you see what's happening here, don't you see history repeating itself?' techno asks on nov. 16th and that's interesting to me because his experience with dream smp history, at that point, is very limited.

the obvious explanation is that he's referring to what he was told about the elections and what came before but from a character standpoint it's very easy to read it as something he's seen before. before he joined pogtopia, before the dream smp.

what's interesting about this is how well it fits with cc!techno's roleplay style and his character's story, giving him this role of the traveler, as someone who watches the downfall of an empire.

but is that the only role c!techno fills in the unconventional story of the dream smp? let's talk about that!

part two: c!techno as the albatross & the butcher army as the ancient mariner(s)

so let me take a sidebar to move away from shelley's 'ozymandias' and talk about coleridge's 'rime of the ancient mariner'.

there's plenty of more in-depth analysis of this poem but i want to focus on the idea of the albatross as a helpful guide until it was shot down by the sailor who thought it was the cause of their troubles only to learn that its death was the harbinger of even greater destruction.

c!techno came to the dream smp as someone who intended to help. his goal was to help his allies overthrow a corrupt government and techno put a lot into doing so; farming potatoes for hours, aiding c!tommy in a smaller skirmish, grinding for gear for his allies. through miscommunication and a level of deception by c!wilbur (who lied not just to techno but tommy, tubbo, and niki), techno thought they were on the same page. he believed when c!wilbur said that he was on board with 'this anarchy thing' that they had the same goals so he led them to a victory that they wouldn't have achieved if he wasn't there.

so after the failure of the nov. 16th wither destruction that came on the heels of c!wilbur's tnt explosions, c!techno travels away from l'manberg and enters a self-imposed exile and retirement from violence. he wanted a 'safe haven' and had decided that being alone was the only way to achieve that.

but the butcher army hunts him down and executes him, kidnapping his horse, and hurting his best friend in the process.

c!techno says, "those that have treated me with kindness, i will repay that kindness tenfold- and those, that treat me with injustice! that used me. that hunt me down. that hurt my FRIENDS... i shall repay that injustice a thousand times over."

and he fulfills that. his execution at the hands of the butcher army is what heralds the destruction of new l'manberg.

so we have an outside force that was called in to aide and after a betrayal became the harbinger of destruction.

does this section have anything to do with the rest of this essay? i don't know! but i feel it's important to note.

part three: the traveler from an antique land

during 'the visitor' stream, c!techno tells c!quackity that he's traveled all over the rest of the world and knows things that could threaten quackity's 'empire'.

there's two things to take away from this.

one, that c!techno does fall into the role of the traveler and going back to the opening of this post and the first point, placing him as the traveler from 'ozymandias' makes a lot of sense. he's seen this sort of thing before, seen things that could cause whatever empire quackity has to fall.

and two, techno is familiar with the sort of person who carves power and control. he knows the drive of someone who could become ozymandias-like, thinking power and an empire is a legacy that will last when techno has seen that in the end, it'll be broken and covered in dust.

considering that it's been implied that they hypixel skyblock revolution against dante is canon to the dream smp, i think that's a pretty fair assumption. c!techno has been there. he has done this before.

part four: cc!techno & meta commentary

so we can see that c!techno fits into a few roles within the story of the dream smp. that of the traveler and outside point of view and that of some sort of albatross.

what i like about this is the idea that cc!techno's style of role-play with his fourth wall breaking and meta commentary meshes almost perfectly with these roles for his character.

he knows things, he's seen things, he can comment on and predict things because of all this information. that fourth wall breaking is as if the character is imparting information from other worlds that he's traveled and other things he's experienced.

techno can act as this almost outside source or narrator-like presence to both us as the audience and other characters. he gives us information that we wouldn't normally have from the canon text by virtue of his insights that come from his travels and he acts as a sort of guide or warning to other characters through his experience and beliefs or ideals.

the theseus speech is an example of this. much like the traveler in 'ozymandias', c!techno is telling us a story of what can and will happen to those that sacrifice themselves for a country that can't love them and will turn its back on them when it becomes convenient. he's acting as a traveler imparting wisdom through a story and as a warning of things to come, cc!techno playing on that bit of fourth wall breaking to bring in greek mythology and predict the exile arc.

it's not out of character or something that doesn't fit into the story or the style of the story but a role that has a clear purpose that both the character of techno and cc!techno fills wonderfully.

[msmarvelwrites]

Almost Is Never Enough

Summary: Ever since Steve had come out of the ice all those years ago, his only goal had been to get back to Peggy Carter. A home that was waiting and forgetting him all at once. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch him go.

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: Angst, angst, just a little bit of angst, fluff, language. 

Word Count: 2.4k

Authors Note: Thank you to the wonderful @remmiesour for this request. It’s been a decade, but I finally got around to it! I’ve never written for Steve and honestly I didn't think I ever would but, famous last words I guess! Enjoy!

Ever since Steve had come out of the ice all those years ago, his only goal had been to get back to her. A home that was waiting and forgetting him all at once. She was there, and if it was the last thing he did, he would be too. 

So, when the opportunity presented itself, when he could actually find his long lost love, you already knew he had made the decision before the words fell from his lips. 

You knew. But god, that didn't make it any easier. 

You hadn’t meant for it to happen, falling in love with the world's most unavailable man. In every sense of the word, it was an accident. 

And yet, there you stood, eyes trained on his face as he laughed with his friends. The sound ripping through you like it always did. For the past week you had been trying to memorize the sound. The way it filled the room, pulling smiles from everyone who heard it. 

You hadn’t meant to fall in love with Steve Rogers, but that is exactly what you did. 

“Ya know,” Bucky’s gravely voice started behind you, pulling your attention away from Steve and towards his friend. “If you're planning on telling him, I’d do it now.” 

You furrowed your brow at the brunette, a false confusion clouding your eyes. You shook your head, only pulling a scoff from his stubble framed lips. 

“Don’t play that with me. I see the way you look at him.” He smiled softly, watching as your eyes flicked back to the godlike man. 

Bucky was only trying to help. But in your case, you were just too late. You had your moment. Several if you were being honest. Steve deserved someone who wasn't afraid to tell him how they felt. Someone strong and brave. 

Someone like Peggy Carter. 

“I missed my chance.” You hummed, taking a sip from the bottle of stale beer in your hand. You grimised at the bitterness, the liquid courage doing nothing for your spirit. Only serving as a half assed reminder of what a coward you really were. 

How many times had those three words almost fallen from your mouth? How many moments passed- longing stares and lingering touches? Surely too many to keep count. But it didn't change the truth. 

He didn't love you, and he was leaving. 

“I think that he deserves to know what he’s leaving behind.” Bucky whispers against your ear, the words pulling at your heart. 

Only you and he knew the truth. Today was not a celebration of wins… It was a send off. 

“He deserves to be happy.” You choked out, your eyes meeting Steves from across the room, his softening when he was your hollow form. You faked a smile, though it didn't fool the Captain as he began to make his way over to you. 

“And what about you?” You snapped your head to meet Bucky, your eyes serious and tone stern. 

“Stop it. Please.” 

Bucky raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back as Steve approached you. His voice calling your name melted over you like honey in tea. So sweet, but always ready to burn if not careful. 

You met his gaze, his blue eyes sparkling down at you, inviting you in. You could drown in the oceans of his iris, in fact, you had on many occasions. Tonight was no exception. 

“Could I steal you away for a moment?” He asked, his voice cutting through your thoughts, coated in kindness. 

The moment his eyes met yours, you were a goner. A mess from the second he said your name. It was pathetic, but then again, isn’t that what you were? Doomed from the first day he walked into your life, taking up every thought in your head.

“Of course.” You tried to smile, forcing it on your quivering lips. You hoped Steve didn’t notice, and of course, he didn’t. He never noticed. If he had, perhaps you wouldn’t be in this mess.

Steve pulled you along, hand in hand as he led your outside into the night. Darkness acting as a veil covering your hurt. Part of you wanted to scream. Needed it. Though, it wouldn’t do much now. 

“Do you remember when we first met?” His question echoed around you, pulling you to the memory of your first encounter. 

Of course you remembered. It replayed in your head like a broken record every night. A thousand ‘what if’s’ swirling around the memory. 

The day he asked you to dance at one of Tony’s elaborate fundraisers for charity. He was like something out of a dream, the way he walked across that dance floor to you. The way his voice asked that daunting question. The way you swooned the moment his hands touched yours, pulling you in and spinning you around the room. 

It all felt so distant now. As if you had made the entire thing up in your head. 

Sometimes you wish you had.

“I remember you being a terrible dancer.” You joked, worrying on your bottom lip as Steve's laugh echoed around you. 

“See, that's the problem. I don’t have much practice and I owe a dame a dance.” His words were sincere and yet dripped in venom. They cut you deep, poison darting straight to your heart. 

“You want me to help you… Dance?” You tried not to let your face show how truly hollow you felt. 

You had to force yourself not to cringe away when he took your hand, pulling you gently against his chest. You could have died right there, drowned in your own self loathing, overcome with jealousy for a woman who, at this very moment, was nothing more than a tombstone. She was gone, nothing but a memory and still- Steve picked her. 

With a broken breath, you rested your hand on his shoulder, shivering at his touch. You should pull away, save yourself from the ache. But the way he held you- gently and with a foreign love you would never feel from Steve, your body stayed.  You had wondered what it would be like. Wrapped up in his arms, your name on his mouth, his lips on your throat. You had imagined it more times than you cared to admit. 

One dance couldn't hurt. 

You let him take the lead, swaying you slowly into the night. His hand on your waist, guiding you to a silent melody. 

“Ya know, there was a moment that I thought it might be us.” His words whispered against your neck, freezing you in time. You swore your veins turned to ice at the cruelty of his remark. All you could do was gape. 

Steve pulled away to look at you, watching your face turn pale and eyes fill with tears. 

“How could you- This is a bad idea. I can’t do this, Steve.” You choked out, horrified at how little your voice sounded. You hated how he made you feel, small and broken. If you were, it was only because he made you that way. 

“I didn't mean to-”

“Didn't you? I respect myself too much to beg you to stay. But what the fuck, Steve? How can you stand there, one foot out the door and tell me that?” You were shattered, hand over your heart as if it might fall out at any moment. “I’ve followed you around like you were the sun. I’d do anything for you. But I won’t watch you walk away. Not when all that’s waiting for you is a ghost. I love you too much, and it breaks my heart that you can’t even consider that I could… That I might…” 

“Y/n, baby, I’m so sorry. I just-” Your name fell from his lips like a plea, but you couldn't stand there and listen to him try to mend what was already so irreversibly broken.

“No- Just stop.” You blurted, turning away and pulling yourself from his grasp. “I’ve been second to her my whole life. I’m numb to it now. But don’t make excuses for your shitty decision. If you want to go, go.” With that, you pushed away from him, heading back to the party and away from the man who, come tomorrow, would be forever out of reach. 

The next morning you woke up, eyes burning from the tears shed the night before and chest heavy with guilt. 

Part of you knew there was a better way to say the things you did, but another part reveled in your cruelty. Basked in how dumbstruck Steve looked standing on the lawn. Maybe it was mean, but so was he. 

It wouldn't matter for long. The afternoon sun was creeping in and soon he would be gone. Nothing but a distorted memory of a man you used to love. But at least he knew. At least when he laid beside his consolation prize he would remember you. Maybe he would hurt. You cringed at the idea. 

No matter how much you wanted to hate Steve, your heart simply wouldn't allow it. That was the worst joke of all. You despised the man you loved. 

Buck: He’s waiting for you… 

You looked down at your phone on the bedside table, wiping away the tear that rolled down your cheek. You knew it was time. This was the moment that you had prepared for. But you made a promise last night- one you were far too petty to fall back on now. 

Though even still, as the seconds lulled by, guilt began to eat away at your brain and before you knew it you were half way out the door. Your feet dragged you down the hall, forcing you to confront the horrible truth. 

You knew he was gone before Bucky even spoke the words. His eyes filled with a sadness only you could know. Shoulders slumped as he struggled to hold his gaze. He shook his head, affirming your worst fears as Sam’s panicked voice broke through the tension. 

“Get him back here!” He shouted, his tone filled with dread. It was torture to watch, unberable to feel.

A loud crackle erupted through the air almost knocking you off your feet. Through the piercing white flash, you saw a figure. If you didn't know any better you would have thought-

There, in all of his glory, was Steve Rogers. Perfect and untouched. Like a statue carved from marble. 

All you could do was gape, hand over mouth as he stepped down the tarmac, a smile that could instill world peace plastered on his pink lips. Your whole body vibrated with nerves. Somewhere between anger and hope.

Your name fell from his lips, but you couldn't hear it over the hammering of your heart, your feet already carrying you across the field.  

“What the hell are you-” 

“It’s you, doll.” He beamed, his words only fueling a rage that was threatening to boil over the closer you got. “It’s always been you. I can't believe I didn't see it until-”

Your fist colliding with his stoney jaw cut him off before he could finish. You pushed against his, palms thrashing at his chest as he tried to fend you off. Of course, he could if he truly wanted to, you knew this. 

“Y/n, just listen to me.” He begged, holding your wrists tight as you went to take another hit. You tried to yank yourself away from him, but it was no use. “I was stupid, doll. A complete idiot and I didnt see what was right in front of me. Tell me it’s not too late. Tell me I still have a chance.” Steve's eyes brimmed with tears as your heart thundered in your chest. 

You could only blink, your mind racing between a thousand reasons to walk away. To close the chapter on your love with Steve for good. So why did you stay? As if it wasn't torture enough. As if he hadn't beaten your heart black and blue with his carelessness. You wanted to run, but amidst the broken shards of your heart was a naive girl desperate with hope. And so, with a half step, you closed the distance, taking the deadly plunge as your lips collided with his. 

Steve drank you in, his mouth moulding to yours the instant you met. His hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you in until you arched back against him. Nothing in the world could have prepared you for how completely and irrevocably intoxicating he was. His presence over you melting you into a puddle before him. 

Steve's tongue gently ran across your bottom lip pulling a gutteral shutter to wrack through your body. The taste of him permanently cemented into your mouth. It was the soft moan that escaped the back of his throat that finally did you in, buckling your knees as you held onto the soldier for dear life. 

It wasn't until Sam’s voice echoed around you that you finally pulled away from Steve. Your body’s untwining as the rest of the world came back into focus. 

“Does anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on? What is she talking about?” Sam shouted, pointing his finger at you exasperatingly. 

“I- I… I don't…”  Your words fell to the back of your throat, the memory of Steve’s lips ingrained in your skin. You couldn't think, much less form a coherent sentence as he looked down at you, that boyish grin plastered on his mouth. The way his eyes sparkled, tears filled with a longing you had seen many times, but never from him. 

“Were you not coming back?!” Sam blurted abruptly causing Steve to snap his head in the falcons direction. 

“No.” Steve spoke simply, his gaze returning to you. Eyes filled with an answer you had been wracking your brain for.  “I could never leave my best girl.” 

You scoffed, your gaze only leaving Steve’s for a moment. His words were kind, his lips intoxicating. But there was a nagging in your heart, pulling you from your dreamstate and back to reality. 

“Best girl, huh?” You signed, leaning into him as you chased his touch. “I think I’m going to need you to prove that, Rogers.” 

Steve chuckled, the low rumble vibrating through your chest. His smile seemed brighter than you’d ever seen, reassuring you that this was the only place he wanted to be. “For as long as I can, darling.” 

[the-pale-goddess]

Ethan & Tiffany: Endgame (HC)

A quick reminder: I've rejected canon Third Year completely, so mind that none of OHTY bs happens in my E&T canon timeline.

A/N: I tried my best to write every major fact down - hopefully the final product isn’t too messy or too boring, I’m new to the headcanon business and this isn’t even written in the headcanon form because I’m a rebel lol

Huge thanks to the lovely Anon who requested this HC and every single one of you still interested in E&T’s shenanigans, your support is the greatest gift I could ever receive! If you have some more specific questions about these two, feel free to hit my askbox anytime 💕

Now let’s check what’s in store for Tiffany and Ethan!

Children

Neither of them planned children in their lives; they were perfectly comfortable in the relationship they had—living together, advancing their glittering careers while supporting each other, slaying the game as the ultimate power couple.

But life has its ways, of course, and a week prior to their third anniversary Tiffany found out she was pregnant. The news sparked blind panic in the 30-year-old doctor; she thought her whole world fell like dominoes. Tiffany wouldn't intentionally start a family: she'd just started turning her dreams and plans into reality and she didn't even consider herself fit to be a mother (even though deep down she craved it).

She'd spent an entire week full of doubts, listing all her options, before she finally shared the news with Ethan. His reaction was surprisingly calm, considering his stance on having children. Based on the evidence gathered throughout the week, he'd already suspected pregnancy and did some calculations on his own.

They both agreed it wasn’t the best time—their busy schedules didn’t allow them to even reconsider the concept of starting a family. Nevertheless, the baby was coming, and their hearts filled with strange excitement. Having a baby on board seemed surreal at first, but after the dust had settled they felt oddly content about the unforseen circumstances.

E&T's world turned upside down the second their son was born. Raising a child happened to be the greatest challenge these two brilliant doctors had encountered. Luckily, they both relish a good challenge. Guided by the unexpected overflow of affection, they quickly settled into the alien routine of parenthood.

Nathaniel Jonah (also known as NJ, Nate) turned out to be a perfect blend of his parents' most prominent features & traits: Ethan's ocean eyes and stubbornness mixed with Tiffany's smile and warm heart.

Three years later, another surprise awaited. The most shocking thing about the second pregnancy was that it didn't happen sooner (they'd been exceptionally careless). Nicolette „Letty”, a spitting image of her mother, stole Ethan's heart from the start, bringing even more joy to their controlled chaos.

The fancy condo was too small for a family of four, so The Ramdams were forced to find a new home. They moved to a dreamy house in the Boston suburbs merely a month before their daughter was born.

The third one (for a change) received a proper invitation to this world. Tiffany wasn't the biggest fan of the idea of having another baby, but her window was closing (she was 38) and Ethan's palpable excitement tipped the scales. Everyone jokes Aine must be adopted because she's the most unproblematic angel, unlike her parents.

The family wouldn't be full without pets: Nettie (British Shorthair cat) & Hopper (English bulldog).

Marriage

Marriage was never on their agenda. Neither of them felt the need to make their relationship formal, it wouldn't change anything between them—they were already acting like a married couple. Both Tiffany and Ethan think there are more valuable symbols of love than some paper signed in the presence of everyone they know. Partnership they were in seemed like the most comfortable and obvious choice.

The topic resurfaced with the pregnancy news. Our good guy Ethan, our Mr Must-Do-What’s-Right, proposed to Tiffany on their third anniversary dinner, right after they discovered they were expecting. He did it because it made sense. Because it was convenient. Because it was a decent thing to do.

But guess what...Tiffany rejected the proposal. She didn’t want to marry out of obligation. If they were really going to jump into marriage, she wanted it to matter. Ethan understood her point of view, though it didn't stop him from jokingly annoying her on every given occasion that she rejected him.

He waited two years before popping the question again. This time she said yes.

Dr. Grumpsey was willing to agree on a lavish wedding if Tiffany would insist. Lucky for him, his woman hates big, conventional weddings and all that unnecessary attention around the reception. They're both very private people, so they planned the wedding they were actually excited about.

They eloped to Miami where it all started, exchanging vows to the accompaniment of the ocean waves, with little NJ by their side. The wedding reception was just three people enjoying their day at the beach.

As you may suspect, their friends and family flew into a rage when they found out the wedding took place behind their backs. Jackie's death threats were particularly disturbing, so E&T decided to throw an afterparty for their loved ones only.

Career

Tiffany saw her future in diagnostics and followed that path, balancing her personal goals with striving for improvement in patient care. The word about her accomplishments with one of the best diagnostics teams spread fast; shortly after her challenging yet successful residency, Doctor Addams quickly proved to be one of the most valuable and respected diagnosticians—not only at Edenbrook, but also statewide, and later nationwide. She cracked some of the toughest, most hopeless cases, saving lives of many patients considered lost causes.

During her first pregnancy, her career was already on high speed and the situation made her even more determined to keep it that way. She didn't want to sacrifice her newly established position and Ethan did everything he could to support her and her career development.

She remained a vital part of Edenbrook's Diagnostics Team under Ethan's leadership for a few years. Their minds combined gave spectacular results and above it all they truly enjoyed working together. However, when Letty was born sharing responsibilities at home and managing the time got significantly harder. With minimal hesitation, Ethan decided it was his cue to leave.

He'd been thinking about the change for much longer than he was willing to admit: over the years he'd accomplished everything he could dream of and Edenbrook had become more of a duty than a challenge. So he quit, leaving the team in the most capable hands of Doctor Addams-Ramsey.

For a year and a half The Ethan Ramsey was a stay-at-home dad, juggling family, research for his second book and setting up his clinic with none other than Tobias Carrick.

Ethan wasn't 100% convinced if starting the practice with Tobias would be a wise move, but the clinic exceeded his expectations. Apart from the great sense of accomplishment, he finally gained full independence at work. And there were no bloody interns to babysit anymore.

When little Ramdams got older, he approached Tiffany with a job offer; the best diagnostician in the country was the last missing link in his clinic. She let it marinate for a few years and accepted the offer at the launch of her second book, soon after Letty's 18th birthday.

____

If there’s a typo or a mistake somewhere...No, there isn’t kgjdkgjdk

Thanks for reading 🥰 I have a few exciting fics in the making (both AUs & canon) and I hope I’ll be able to finish them soon!

[dreamii-yume]

My guy's birthday is on the 18th Yume, there's a scarce amount of spice for him unfortunately, so for a crumb idea

Ruggie wanting to confess after receiving a gift, even though it wasn't the gift he really wanted if you know what I mean 😏

Anonymous asked :

"No thought, head empty, just fluffy romantic Ruggie with mc on his birthday"

*****

Ruggie looks SO GOOD in a suit Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→

An extravagant birthday party.

A delicious feast spread out on the table.

A well-made suit.

Ruggie’s eyes could scan his entire surroundings all day and would still find something worth to notice about all of this. Despite already having experienced such luxury celebration in his first year here in Night Raven College, he couldn’t help but be impressed by the number of things he can receive in this particular day. Not that he’s complaining though, look at all these donuts he can eat, all the gift his friends got for him, all of which something that he can only dream of having as a child. For someone like him who was born with nothing of value, a piece of cake alone was the highlight of his day, so you can forgive him for savoring such moments.

Though there was just one little thing that this year had that made it more special than the last, that was you socializing in the background, a great distance away from him. With a donut stuffed in his mouth he rests his cheeks on his palm, just staring at you with a drink in your hand, conversing with someone so happily. Even as his powerful ears twitched in effort, he can’t get a good grasp over what the conversation is all about. He’s curious, you looked excited that it was bothering him a little, what are you talking about?Glancing over to the side instead, he saw the small mountains of gifts from friends piled up on the floor. All special in its own ways, yet one thing only sticks out to him the most is the one that he had on his hand.

A sweet little thing, a hand-sewn plushie of a cartoonish hyena with similar color scheme as him, wrapped in a neat ribbon with a birthday tag that you clearly written yourself. It wasn’t food that can fill him up, or any tool that can help him in his daily life, but it was something that put a smile on his face. It wasn’t the best plushie in the world, he could see the little ripped seams on the side that you tried to cover up and uneven stitches, this probably wouldn’t cost much if he were to sell it, but who said he’s going to do that? It was cute to see effort place on a gift like this. Though, it made Ruggie chuckle a little remembering how you gave it to him, smiling ever so nervously to cover any mistakes you might make.

“Here, so you won’t be too lonely at night, hehe…” You sounded like you were joking around, and it did make him laugh, though he knew it that you were only half-serious about it. That childish reasoning was endearing after all, and if we’re talking about something embarrassing you should’ve heard his thoughts at that moment. The moment you walked up to him with a smile and a cute little blush in your cheeks, it got his imagination going crazy.

Wouldn’t it be funny if that gift could be that three special words that he wanted to hear from you? One that can confirm his feelings in return.

...But of course, he’s kidding. There’s no way in hell that you’ll actually ever say that, this is just his own delusion after all.

“Ruggie-senpai, do you want some milk to go along with those donuts?” Ruggie flinched as he suddenly heard your voice and quickly turned around to face you, for a moment he thought he might be imagining you again. He was too distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice you strolling down towards him. In your hand was a glass full of cold and fresh milk, one that would really go well with his favorite treat.

You smiled, and Ruggie couldn’t help but be mesmerized by it for a split second, he thought of how shining it looked in his part. Eventually, he did give a toothy grin right back at you, before anything could be considered suspicious. “Right. Thanks for the offer, (Y/N)~ I’ll happily take them~” He said as he gulped down the dairy liquid, washing off the sweetened flavor of the donut with a satisfying gulp. You tilted your head to the side, blinking as you observed how his ears twitches excitedly because of it.

“I’m glad that you seemed to be having fun, Ruggie-senpai. This is a day to treat you like a king after all, so please help yourself as much as you want.” You said, Ruggie couldn’t agree more as he nod excitedly and quite shamelessly in the matter. He noticed how you stared at him curiously as he grabs another donut from the plate, you look like a newborn puppy. “...Those donuts really look good too, huh...I wonder…”

Ruggie heard you mumbled out the last part as he bit into the dough, and turned to you as he chewed it. It took a few seconds until he puts on a mischievous smirk when the both of you just realized that you said something you don’t intend to be heard by anyone out loud. “A-Ah, wait...! That’s not—!” You hold your hand up in defense, cheeks flaring up.

So, you wanted a taste, huh? Well, if there’s a giant plate of delicious treats in front of him like this too, he can’t blame you for wanting to grab one for yourself. “…Want one?” He asked in a clearly teasing and smug fashion, his tail wagging behind him.

You pouted like a child, but your mannerism clearly shows that you do. “N-No, thank you…This should be something that’s only for you…! I don’t have the right to…have a taste…” You said, averting your eyes away from the temptation, but he could clearly see those small glances from time to time. The way you gulped down your saliva as well, your voice slowly lowering down the more you talk. Ruggie could only sigh, you’re such an easy book to read that he worries how you’ll even survive out there. “I’ll…I’ll go for something else, like…Like the cake or something…”

“Alright, alright~ I get it, you’re a humble little lady~” Ruggie said, sighing loudly with a shrug and for a moment, you thought he gave up in trying to convince you. However, you were proven wrong as he looked straight back at you with his usually lazy eyes looking weirdly intense. “But I like you if you’re a bit naughty too sometimes, y’know~?”

Then, he pulled you by the arm so suddenly that you almost stumbled over, but quickly caught off-guard as he grabbed your jaw in a tight hold. Grinning, he holds out his half-eaten donut in front of you. “Right, open up, Sweetheart~” He said in a teasingly loving way, pushing your cheeks together to force open your mouth, enjoying the little surprise noises you’re making. Then, he began to push the donut inside, allowing the sweetness to fill your taste buds almost immediately. Trusting that there was enough dough filling your mouth to not let the rest fall to the ground, he let go of your jaw and chuckled. “See~? It’s delicious, isn’t it? Crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside!”

Though still in shock and confusion, you unconsciously nibbled on the piece of treat, slowly basking in the taste and your eyes sparkling at the sudden burst of flavor. You bit a piece off with a hand ready to catch the remains, but before you could do so, Ruggie leaned closer and holds the piece for you. “…Especially when you share it with others.” He said as he opened his mouth and bit the other side of the donut.

Gasping, you widened your eyes and blushed deep red, he was so close and was coming closer every time he bits off a piece of the dough. You tried backing up, only to realize how his hands were wrapped tightly around your wrist, preventing you from getting away. Stuck onto the other side of the donut, your heartbeat began to race as Ruggie began closing in on you. He’s inches away from your lips and like a deer in a headlight, your mind and body froze, you didn’t know what else to do. Shutting your eyes tight became your last resort as you felt his breath brushing against skin, a drop of sweat fell in the side of your forehead.

Ruggie opened his eyes slightly to see your reaction, to see how much your body was trembling, your lips trembling from his presence alone. Your nervous breaths, shaking and airy with your hands slowly dampening up against his. He thought of how cute it is that even with the other side of the donut stuffed in your mouth, it almost seems like your lips were puckering up to ready themselves for what’s about to happen, for him. One literal bite away and your lips would touch, Ruggie couldn’t help but to wonder how it end up like this, it was the force of habit and was something he thought of right on the spot. He’s heart was racing just as much as yours, his cheeks are probably just as flushed as yours too, but there was not a tinge of hesitation in his actions.

…He was going to do this. You being right here in front of him, eyes closed and unconsciously preparing yourself for something that you don’t even realize is a kiss, it’s a risk that he was willing to take…Who cares if he didn’t get what he really wanted for his birthday? It doesn’t have to be a special day to show you his own side of the story, what he’s really feeling for you. He…can say it, he can show it at any time of the day, as long as you can understand.

And with the final piece of the donut gone, and your soft lips clashing against his, Ruggie had taken the first step towards that goal.

I ended up making a sweet and spicy dish lol Sorry, Darling~ (*/▽＼*)

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | ONE

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 2,725

warnings: thoughts of suicide! unsuccessful attempt! depression, grief, angst

18+!!! minors stay away! TRIGGER WARNING.

Nothing made sense anymore. The world was upside down, all messed up, and you were hanging by a thread. How could it have been a year since the incident? How could you be okay with being older than her now?

Grief is something that nobody expects to be easy, but you never expected it to be quite so hard. Every day people promised that tomorrow would be better, but it never was. It never got better. It never got easier. You were fairly sure it never would, because if it still hurt this bad after thirteen months, twenty-two days, and six hours, how could one more hour, day, month, or year bring any sort of respite?

It couldn't. It wouldn't. Sometimes you wondered if this was your punishment. Maybe you felt this way because you deserved to, because you had earned a life time of suffering when you let her die. Sure, big sisters are supposed to look out for little sisters, but at the cost of their life? That couldn't go unpunished.

Every day was the same since she died. Wake up, wish you hadn't, feel everything and nothing all at once, and go to sleep. It was a strange and horrible existence; people weren't meant to feel so many big things at the same time. The guilt, the shame, the anguish, the longing... it consumed every part of you like a black hole until you were left with nothing. Until you felt nothing, thought nothing, you were nothing.

They were all the same until today. It was your birthday, your eighteenth birthday to be exact, and for once that ever present black hole in your chest was gone. Instead of waking up to the constant weight of all those heavy emotions on your shoulders, you woke up with the familiar numb emptiness you felt at the end of every day.

There weren't words to describe how much that terrified you. Every single day since your sister died, you'd wished endlessly for those painful feelings to go away. You'd begged for relief, for peace, and you'd taken solace in the hollow of the evenings. Waking up already vacant and listless did not bring the comfort you dreamed of.

You were officially older than her. You'd finally reached that first milestone she'd never reach, and the thought of it punched a hole in your chest so large you wondered if there was anything left of you at all. It wasn't fair--how could you celebrate the big ticket birthday she'd yearned for so anxiously? You couldn't.

You didn't deserve to celebrate. You didn't deserve to achieve all those goals she never had the chance to. You didn't deserve to live through all the years, experiences, moments that she never would. You didn't deserve to live.

It was all your fault, after all. It was your fault that she was there that day, it was your fault she lingered behind, and it was your fault she died. If you'd just gone shopping like she'd asked instead of insisting on going to the park, she'd still be here. If you hadn't frozen like an idiot, she'd still be here.

With a mind swimming with all the reasons everything would be better if you just weren't around anymore, you snuck out of your bedroom window. It was finally dark outside; you'd managed to make it through the day for your parents. But, with the day over, you couldn't hold on any longer.

The letter you'd written for your parents to find was tucked under your pillow, and with one final glance around the bedroom you used to share with your sister, you made peace with your life. This was for the best. Everyone would be so much better off if it had been you instead of her, and now you were going to make things right. It wouldn't bring her back, but at least you wouldn't be there as a reminder of what should have been.

As ready as you were, you didn't really have a plan. There were a million possibilities as far as how you could execute your desires, but none of them seemed right. It had to be fast, though, and something that didn't require much work. If it took effort, conscious thought and execution, you wouldn't follow through. You'd learned that the last time.

That was how you ended up on the roof of one of the more swanky apartment complexes. It was a tall building, taller than those surrounding it, and a fall from that height would surely do the trick. Strangely, the moment your feet dangled over the ledge with your bottom firmly planted in place, your mind went blank.

All those thoughts of the stress and pain you caused went silent, and you finally could breathe. With a deep exhale, your body relaxed for the first time since the incident; you didn't feel any of the bad things anymore. There was no pain, no grief, no sadness, nor were there any of those empty or numb feelings. You just felt peace.

The peace was short lived as you looked down to the street far below, though. This was it, this was the end, and suddenly your mind was racing with all the what if's. What if it could get better? What if it didn't work? What if this made everything worse? What if this was a mistake?

What if, what if, what if, "Whatever, just shut up." you gasped, clutching your head in your hands to keep it from spinning. "Get it together, (Y/N), this is the right thing to do."

Pulling out the letter you'd written to your sister, you opened it and cried for the first time in months. You'd long ago stopped crying; despite how many horrible things you'd been feeling, the tears just never came. But reading the words you'd written to her, thinking of her as you came to terms with your decision to join her, it was as if a metaphorical flood gate opened.

Thirteen months, twenty-two days, and seven hours. You couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't do it, do anything, anymore; you just needed to rest. The clock was running out, and your time was up.

"You can do this." you whispered, "For once in your life, do something right."

With shaky hands and weak knees, you scrambled up onto your feet and stood atop the ledge. You weren't that tall, but somehow the new perspective made the drop look so much longer and your stomach heaved with fright. Sobbing, you stumbled back to your knees and threw up the little bit of cake you'd forced yourself to eat earlier that evening.

You wiped the sick from your mouth and stood up again, this time with panting gasps for air and knees that shook so violently you feared you might fall before you were ready to. Maybe that would have been for the best, though, because the longer you looked down the more doubts you had. No one would ever know it was an accident if that were the case.

A sudden noise behind you startled you, and your heart seized in your chest as your knees gave out and you tipped dangerously over the edge. You didn't fall, though, because a sticky substance latched around your arm and dragged you back over until you were laying on the roof. For a moment you just laid there, staring up at the empty sky where the stars were all drowned out by the city lights, and you tried hard to figure out what had just happened.

"Are you okay? Oh--oh my god, are you hurt? What were you thinking? Shit, oh shit, Karen, what do I do?" A masked head leaned over your face, blocking the starless sky from your view, and all the feelings came flooding back like a tsunami. "Um, can you hear me?"

One feeling stood out against the current, and your body tensed as you were overcome with seething, white hot rage. An anger like you'd never felt before; you were furious. How dare he stop you? How dare he ruin everything?

It was Spiderman, the friendly neighborhood hero who'd been gallivanting around Queens for some time now, and that made you even angrier. Spiderman was one of them, one of the ridiculous superheroes who'd killed your sister without a single care in the world. He was one of them, and he'd just stopped you from finally fixing everything they had ruined.

You stood so fast you nearly threw up again, but you swallowed the bile down and hissed, "You should have let me fall. I wanted to fall."

Spiderman pulled you back with a firm grip on the web that was still wrapped around your arm, stopping you in your tracks as you stomped back toward the ledge. "Hey, stop! I'm not going to let you do this." he shouted, but his voice was more nervous than commanding.

"Get out of here, Spiderman. You're not saving the day by stopping me, okay?" you snapped fiercely. No matter how hard you pulled against the webbing holding you back, you couldn't break free. It didn't budge when you pulled at it, clawed at it, or even pried it. "What the hell is this shit?"

He pulled you in further, and you stumbled over your feet as you tried to keep your distance. "I'm not going to let you do this. You don't need to do this." he repeated, this time more firmly.

For a moment you were silent, studying the masked hero as he stared back at you with a hidden face. "You don't even know me. Why do you care?" you tried again, but your voice was softer, more fragile. The numbness was creeping back in again and you knew that you wouldn't be able to follow through anymore, even if he let you go.

"I do know you, (Y/N), and you don't need to do this. We can--I can help you. Let me help you."

Your eyebrows furrowed as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously. How the hell did he know your name? Did you know him? Even though your mind was running wild with unanswered questions, you seethed, "You can't help me. Unless you can go back in time and kill me instead of my sister, you can't fucking help me."

The eyes of his mask widened at your shout, and he stammered, "I--no, I can't do that, but I can help you. I can be your friend, you... you can talk to me. I know what it's like to lose someone, (Y/N)."

You scoffed, "Do you know what it's like to watch a family member die right in front of you? Do you know what it's like to see someone get killed, and it's all your fault? You can't help me!"

"I do, actually." he stated.

Your entire body slumped at the revelation, the anger leaving you as the numbness finally took over completely. It was silent for a few long moments as you cried noiselessly, the only sounds being those of your still frantic breathing and the bustling traffic far below. "If you know, then you know why I have to do it." you whimpered.

Spiderman dropped the web keeping you in place as you collapsed onto your butt, your legs too weak to support you anymore from exhaustion. "I know why you think you have to, but I also know why you're wrong. This isn't the answer." he responded, tentatively taking a few steps closer to you.

You didn't respond, looking up at him as you wiped your cheeks and nose weakly, and he took the chance to continue, "I'm going to make you a deal. I'm going to take my mask off and show you who I am. If you still want to do it after, fine, but at least you'll know who will be blaming themselves afterwards."

True to his word, his fingers creeped under the edge of his mask as he stared you down intensely. Your breath faltered as you watched, completely still as you realized he was serious. Spiderman was going to reveal his identity to you, and you knew that once he did it was game over. As much as you felt the world would be better off without you, you couldn't bare the thought of leaving someone behind to feel the way that you did.

So, stubbornly, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and refused to look. "I'll wait here all night if I have to. Besides, I could just say my name, you know. I'm pretty sure you know me too."

"Don't." you pleaded.

"Open your eyes, (Y/N). You want this, right? Knowing who I am shouldn't change anything, then." he urged, his tone soft despite his harsh words. "It's Peter. Peter Parker. I've sat behind you in at least two classes since freshman year, and I've lent you pencils before. You always give them back, and you always let Flash copy your homework even though he's a total dick to you. You--"

Your eyes snapped open as you cut him off, "Stop! Just because you know things about me doesn't mean you know me."

It really was Peter Parker, and the numbness faded a little to make room for anxiety and guilt. You knew Peter had lost too much in his life; his parents and his uncle, too. Could you add your name to that list? Could you jump when you knew he'd blame himself for the rest of his life?

You couldn't. You wouldn't. Peter's brown eyes were filled with worry and sadness as he studied you, his mask clutched tightly in his fist. When you remained silent, he sat down and spoke quietly, "I know enough to know the world would suck without you. I could be your friend, you know, you don't have to do this alone."

"I don't need friends." you huffed.

Peter frowned briefly, before rubbing his nose and hiding it again. "I did just tell you my biggest secret, (Y/N), so I think we kind of have to be friends now." he finally rebutted, a faint twinge of humor in his voice, "You might not want friends, but you do need one. I'll be your friend."

You stared back at Peter blankly, uncaring as he shifted uncomfortably in your silence. Why did he want to be your friend? He already got what he wanted. You weren't going to go through with your plan, and he wouldn't have to live with guilt like you did every day. So, why was he still here?

Part of you wanted to believe he really cared, because he seemed to pay a lot of attention to you to notice the little things you did, but you knew better. He didn't really care about you. He only cared that you knew his secret and now you had leverage over him. You could out him if you wanted to, and that meant he had to keep tabs on you.

"I don't need friends." you repeated stiffly, "Don't worry, Parker. Your secret is safe with me."

His eyes widened as he stammered, "That's not--"

"Save it, Peter. Can you please just get this shit off of me so I can go home? I want to go to bed." you cut him off with a deep sigh, gesturing to the web that was still hanging from your arm.

He looked like he wanted to argue, to further plead his case, but after a few moments he visibly wilted and gave in. "It'll dissolve in two hours. I'll... I'll see you at school, (Y/N)."

It was a statement, but it sounded more like a question. You knew he was still hesitant to let you out of his sight, fearful that you'd go back on your word and follow through, and this was his way of confirming you wouldn't do just that. Achingly stretching up off the ground, you muttered, "Yeah. Bye, Peter."

Peter tugged his mask back over his head, but didn't make any move to leave until you were opening the door that lead back into the building. As you stepped through the threshold he gave a forlorn wave, before jumping over the ledge and swinging away. The door shut behind you as the weight of the world settled on your shoulders once again. You'd failed, like always.

[nakachuchu]

Gravitate | Bokuto Kotaro + Akaashi Keiji

SYNOPSIS: You're annoyed Akaashi is smarter than you and confused at the man hiding in a cabinet.

READER: gender neutral

WORDS: 2670

WRITTEN: 03/11/2021

NOTES: @babierin suggested enemies to lovers in general, but that's the one trope I don't like but I ended up coming up with this and it's the longest thing I've ever written on Tumblr as of today. If you squint, the way they get together is totally realistic lol

You did your best in your studies in order to get good grades. Your parents drilled it into your head that if you got terrible grades, you'd end up homeless.

Even though you were now a teenager and knew that they were exaggerating, it was still a possibility, so you continued to study hard.

You didn't have to be ranked number one at Fukurōdani, but having a goal kept you occupied, even though it messed with your mental health and sleep schedule.

Another factor that messed with you getting number one was Akaashi Keiji. He was smart and the two of you often switched between first and second place.

It annoyed you. It made you feel inferior—as if your hard work had been for nothing. But because you were a sensible person, you were sure he was working hard for number one as well, but you wanted to be first.

Fukurōdani sent out monthly scores of each subject, and you usually ranked first in math and science, while Akaashi usually beat you in English and history.

You occasionally stayed after school to study since being at home with your parents hovering around you stressed you out.

Akaashi was usually on your mind. He was attractive, yes, and on top of being smart, he was an athlete. It made you feel even more inferior because you weren't an athlete. You didn't have anything rigorous that took up your time after school and on weekends. All you did was study.

You sighed as you walked into the science room to finish up a lab alone. You wanted everything to be precise, so when it came to labs, you were always the last person to turn the paper and data in.

Your teacher entrusted you with his classroom since he knew what a good and trustworthy student you were. Plus, the janitor was on campus in case anything happened.

You walked to the sink to wash your hands. Once you were finished, you looked around for something to dry your hands with.

You didn't see any paper towels or clean rags so you bent down to the cabinet underneath the sink and opened it.

"WHAT THE F—"

You fell onto your butt at the person hiding inside the cabinet. He looked at you, equally as shocked and frightened.

"Bo-Bokuto? What are you doing in there?" you asked.

He was your classmate in math and was in your year, so you knew him. Plus, he was often the talk of the school because of the volleyball team and girls having an interest in him.

He sniffled. "Nothing."

"How did you even fit in there?" you asked. "Are you stuck? Should I get help? What about Akaashi?"

You weren't an idiot. You knew Bokuto rarely went anywhere without his best friend, and to see either one without the other was very rare.

Bokuto pouted and shoved his face between his knees, ignoring your question.

You sat on the floor, blinking and waiting for an answer. He clearly didn't want to talk, so you were forced to move past it.

"Are there any paper towels in there?" you asked.

He reached behind him, angling his arm at what looked like an uncomfortable position, and grabbed a paper roll for you.

You took it from his hands and got up from the floor to wash your hands again, then dried them.

"Um—thank you," you said as you leaned your body to the side to peer into the dark cabinet. "Should I... Should I close it?"

He shook his head between his knees, so you left the door open for him and put your goggles on, occasionally checking on him while you finished up your lab.

He was supposed to be in practice at this time, so you were fairly certain that something must have happened during practice since he wasn't wearing his uniform, instead opting for loose clothes.

Once you were finished and began to throw away the materials in the correct bins and clean the tubes and table, you could hear Bokuto bumping into the cabinet as he wrangled his body out.

You waited for him to crawl out of the cabinet before walking to the sink to wash your hands and dry them.

"Are you feeling better?" you asked.

He nodded.

You had never seen him so quiet before. It was a bit unsettling and you weren't the type of person to leave someone alone when they were upset.

"Um—Are you thirsty? I can get you something." When he didn't answer, you added, "Or we could go together? I'm done with my lab here anyway."

He nodded and you grabbed your school bag, freezing for a moment when he grabbed the hem of your sweater. You quickly shook off your shock and continued walking, allowing him to hold onto your sweater.

You led him to a vending machine outside and got water for him since you weren't sure what he liked and that was the safest option.

The two of you sat on a bench outside, enjoying the cool air. He opened the water and drank from it while you held a can of warm coffee as a hand-warmer.

"Don't you have to go back to practice?"

He pouted.

"Right. What made you so upset?"

"Akaashi," he mumbled.

You let out a sigh of relief. That was the first thing he said to you since you found him in the cabinet.

"Did he do something?"

"He yelled at me."

You didn't see Akaashi as the type to yell at someone. He was usually very calm, so Bokuto must have done something.

"How come?" you asked.

"He said I was being too loud—that I was annoying."

"Did he apologize?"

"I ran away," said Bokuto.

"Well, maybe if you go back now, he'll apologize and the two of you can make up. I don't mean for this to be rude, but it's odd when you two aren't together. You guys are best friends, right?"

He nodded and took in a deep breath. "You're right, Y/N! I'll go back now. Thanks!"

He had a bright smile on his face, completely contrasting with his sullen expression a few seconds ago. He quickly got up from the bench and ran away with the water, leaving you alone on the bench with a warm can of coffee between your hands. You stared after him in confusion.

"How'd he know my name?" you mumbled.

He never once interacted with you before and you didn't introduce yourself to him, so he couldn't have known your name. You were supposed to be a background character to him.

The next day during break, you were reviewing the notes you took in class when a loud voice called out for you.

"Y/N!"

You looked up, startled, to see Bokuto waving to you through the door. You glanced around and slowly waved at him. He beckoned for you to come over, so you did.

Once you were by the threshold, you noticed Akaashi was there. The two of you locked eyes before you averted them to look at Bokuto instead.

You felt self-conscious with how much taller the two of them were and how good they looked in their school uniforms.

"Did you need something?" you asked.

Bokuto grinned. "I wanted to say thanks for yesterday."

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm guessing you two made up."

"Yeah!"

Akaashi nodded and held out a can of coffee to you. You glanced at him and took it from his hand, noticing his slender fingers.

"Bokuto noticed you got this brand yesterday," said Akaashi.

You mainly got it as a hand-warmer, but you didn't mind drinking coffee.

"Thank you," you said. "You didn't have to."

"He told me you took care of him, so it's the least we could do," Akaashi explained.

You nodded. "Right. Is that all?"

Bokuto and Akaashi glanced at each other before leaning in. Your eyes darted between the two, noticing how close they were to you.

"Bokuto likes you a lot," said Akaashi.

"Huh?"

"You're really pretty, Y/N," said Bokuto with a grin. "Come to rooftop during lunch. We'll be there!"

Akaashi leaned away and tugged on his sleeve to give you some space. Bokuto leaned away from you after smiling at Akaashi.

"If you don't, it's fine, but Bokuto will be sad if you don't," said Akaashi. "Let's go. Class is starting soon.

"Okay, okay. See you later, Y/N!" Bokuto exclaimed as he walked after Akaashi.

You blinked after the two, heart racing and completely confused.

Class seemed to pass by slowly today. You usually forced yourself to listen to the teacher in order to take notes, but Bokuto's confession was taking up your mind.

When class was over, you quietly took your time going up to the rooftop. You didn't want to first and have to wait for them. Plus, you were so nervous, your legs wouldn't properly move and you had to stop walking on the stairs for a minute to calm your heart.

The door to the rooftop creaked open and you poked your head out to see if they were there. Your heart beat rapidly as Bokuto and Akaashi turned to look at you.

You opened the door further and walked onto the rooftop. You twiddled your thumbs together behind your back as you approached them.

"Hi," you said.

Bokuto grinned. "Hi, Y/N!"

"He wants to date you," said Akaashi. "I don't mind either."

"You don't mind?" you questioned. "I'm sorry. I mean, I just met you two officially. I'm not the type of person to easily date someone, or date in general, actually."

Bokuto looked down at Akaashi and the two had a silent conversation with each other.

"All right!" Bokuto exclaimed, making you flinch in surprise.

He wrapped an arm around Akaashi's shoulders and guided his head to rest on his chest. Akaashi didn't seem to mind as he stared at you.

"Keiji and I are dating," he said.

"H-Huh? Congratulations? What does this have to do with me?"

"We're an open relationship and we both like you," Akaashi explained.

"Both like? You both like me?" you asked. You guys aren't wasting my time, right? This isn't a joke? Because I could be studying right now."

Akaashi chuckled. "I could be too."

You puffed out your cheeks, just now remembering that he was your rival. It was hard to dislike him when he was so attractive and respectful.

"I'll think about it," you said. "This isn't exactly normal for me."

"Don't tell anyone we're dating. We told you because we trust you," said Akaashi.

You nodded. "My lips are sealed. I'm going to go back to my classroom now."

"We'll walk you!" Bokuto exclaimed, sliding his arm off Akaashi to walk over to you.

You had to tilt your head up the closer he got to you. You weren't sure if the two of them walking with you was such a good idea because of how much attention they got.

"Don't bother her," Akaashi scolded, making Bokuto pout. "We'll see you later, Y/N."

You nodded and bowed to them before scurrying away. You wished you didn't glance over your shoulder as the door closed. The sight of the two men kissing was something that would keep you up at night.

Neither Akaashi or Bokuto bothered you in the following week. You appreciated that since studying and retaining information was difficult because of them.

You found yourself thinking about the kiss they shared on the rooftop whenever you took a break from studying. You had to keep your mind occupied so that you wouldn't think about it.

Currently, you were in science class—the very same room where Bokuto hid in a cabinet. The class was almost over and everyone was cleaning up their materials.

"Y/N."

You looked up from washing your hands to see Akaashi. You swore this cabinet and sink was haunting you.

"You're smart."

"Thank you," you replied.

"Care to study with me after school? I don't have practice."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

You were certain there wasn't a catch. He seemed like a gentleman and was always there to reign Bokuto back.

"My house is close to the school, so we can walk there together," he said.

"Sounds good."

He briefly smiled at you before moving past you to wash his hands.

Your heart was beating fast for no reason. It was just studying. At least, you hoped it was.

He waited for you by the entrance of the school after school and the two of you walked together to his house.

His room was exceptionally clean for a boy, but it made sense to you. He pulled out a table from under his bed and extended it.

"Could you help me with math? I can quiz you on history," he said.

The fact that he knew which subjects you didn't rank first in made you want to hit him, even though he didn't do anything wrong.

You nodded, and the two of you sat down, taking out your notebooks and supplies.

Studying with Akaashi was quite enjoyable. He made things easy to understand but didn't treat you like you were inferior. In return, you did your best to explain math both verbally and visually.

"I hope you're considering our offer seriously," said Akaashi, interrupting your train of thought.

You played with the pencil in your hand. "I am. Kind of. It's just hard for me to wrap my head around. Neither of you ever talked to me to know me well."

"That's true, but just because we never talked to you, doesn't mean we never talked about you," he retorted. "I talked about you a lot to Bokuto."

"What'd you say?"

"How I'm never ranked first in math or science because of you. It was irksome, but because of that, I started paying more attention to you. Bokuto noticed and got a bid pouty, but then started to notice you too. You're really pretty and noticeable, Y/N. You just don't notice it. You'd always pass by us during breaks and our eyes naturally gravitated to you. You never even spared us a glance."

"Oh. Sorry," you mumbled. "I'm usually thinking about whatever I just learned."

"I know. You never watch where you're going because of that. We once saw you run into a door."

You winced. "You saw that? That's so embarrassing."

"It was cute. So, about our offer..."

He looked so serious now that you couldn't look away from him despite your fast heartbeat and flushed face.

"I've never dated someone before, let alone two people at the same time, but I'm willing to try. I think you two are...interesting. Besides, I thought about you a lot too. You're my rival, after all."

You did think about Akaashi a lot. He was always on your mind, even though it was mainly about how smart he was and how he always bested you.

"What about me?"

The closet door slid open and you let out a scream when Bokuto's body came wiggling out.

"Sorry, he thought it was unfair I got you all to myself," said Akaashi with an apologetic expression.

"Do you like me too?" Bokuto questioned as he walked over to you and knelt in front of you, placing his face into his hands.

"Well, yeah, I guess so. You're cute like a puppy," you answered.

He grinned. "You're cute too!"

You squealed as he tackled you to the floor, wrapping his arms around you for a tight hug. Akaashi wrapped his hand around the table, making sure you didn't hit your head on the edge. Bokuto had a similar idea as he placed his hand on the back of your head so that wouldn't hit the floor.

Akaashi smiled. "I'll get some drinks and snacks."

"You're going to leave me here?" you called out as Bokuto nuzzled his cheek against yours.

"You'll have to get used to it, Y/N. Kotaro's a touchy person."