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hug-protocol · 8 months ago

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Villain Within GM's commentary:

The Furies

The Furies werent originally intended to appear more than once or twice in the campaign; instead their concepts were largely intended to just be average examples of supervillains in Delburn- during the events of the first session (elsewhere), The heavy-hitter Grindstone and the leader Nightmare would be killed in the conflict that would effectively mark the inciting incident of the main plotline of the campaign. However while everyone was making their character, Marsh's player told me that he wanted Marsh to have been raised by her aunt, a supervillain who ended up leaving Marsh to die on a mission. Inspiration struck and i made Marsh's aunt Grindstone- it was an elegant fit and ended up laying the foundation for some of my favourite NPCs of the campaign.

Nightmare

Nightmare is perhaps the least developed character whos getting a paragraph, because he only appeared once in the campaign, as a corpse. He has the ability to appear to every person as the creature they fear the most, with physical abilities to match, which i came up with after a little workshopping for 'powerful scary ability thats harder to beat as a team than alone'.

he was largely just a classic evil villain but he also got, like, one oddly interesting piece of charactarisation when i panicked and realised Marsh wouldnt have ever seen his face (because shed see a bigass wolf) so for her to recognise his corpse i made up off the cuff an anecdote about her walking in on him painting a self-portrait. and its like damn. sits down. yeah he would do that wouldnt he.

Also the plot twist of the cancelled halloween oneshot set in the 80s would have been that he used to be this superhero sidekick.

Tlaloc

The New Frontiers character/superpower concept that would go into Tlaloc was referred to as 'tactile homogenous bond property induction' (short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, ladies love it) with the ability to induce heat, coolness, rigidity, softness etc etc into any material upon touch and was a timid but determined student who would eventually end up being part of proto-link's hivemind.

she had no actual plot significance but i had a pretty sickass animatic planned of her taking on the vastly more skilled proto-evolution in a wizard duel tournament and getting him on the ropes before inevitably being beaten by his bullshit expertise. as a side note every time i say 'o fuck' im referencing the ending sequence of that animatic.

anyway i ended up keeping exactly none of her (imo great) characterisation (i might reuse it tbh) for a planned hero within villain campaign (not Villain Within), where her power would belong to Tlaloc, a suave gentlethem armoured cyborg supervillain with an Aztec theme weilding a macahuitl. I ended up not joining that campaign for scheduling reasons, so i reused the concept for Villain within.

As a subordinate supervillain, i ended up ditching the suaveness in favour of making Tlaloc and Overclock a dynamic duo of standard examples of the kinds of supervillains the setting produced. Tlaloc was a brazillian master thief who got kidnapped by a gang and fled to the US to escape, only to end up confined to a darth-vader style life support armour. (i would later reuse the armour concept for Treacle)

They were intended to be twice the strength of the party initially (so that them and Overclock combined would be the party's match) (matched set do not seperate). in terms of personality, i didnt really have a good feel for them, so i ended up just going for them being a person Marsh just doesnt know very well, but is broadly reliable as a coworker.

A ditched alternative to the joaquin kidnapping arc would have included the party having to go into their mind to escape some brainwashing thing but it was scrapped bc it was more than a little hamfisted.

Overclock

Overclock is one of the many, many characters that came from the same rp character concept. (this is the reason why Overclock's outfit has a wind-up knob on it, while ReWind-up's outfit has a clock on it) Like Tlaloc she was intended to be an average supervillain, having the ability to make things more or less efficient at will, letting her break machinary and grant temporary superspeed.

Inspired by (what else) Worm, i ended up making it so that she joined the Furies as a teenager, and has stayed in it to (young) adulthood. Now the secret sauce to Overclock's charactarisation was that she is, on most accounts, a pretty normal woman. She doesnt have a job or much friends outside of her supervillainy stuff, so she's chummy with her work bestie, Tlaloc, and tried to stay on good terms with her emo coworker Marsh. The sleight of hand lies in the superpower- Overclock speaks at twice normal speed (this was kind of a paint to play) and consequently comes across as enthusiastic and even a little excitable, despite the fact that her actual words and actions are like. relaxed and friendly at most.

A fun setpiece in the campaign involved Marsh getting boosted by Overclock's powers as part of a bank robbery. I kind of failed at making the party like Overclock, despite being imo one of the more personable characters in the campaign, and eventually when Igneous did his big 5D chess manouvre to take control of the city while revealing his identity to the party, she and Tlaloc were unfortunately sacrificed at the alter of narrative stakes and got blown up. Honestly shes like the one character in the campaign that im sad died. She hid Marsh's fuckup from Grindstone!! She was so chill! and for what???

Grindstone

Shes Big. Shes Bad. Shes a Boomer. Shes a horrible person and worse foster parent give it up for- Grindstone!! Proto-grindstone came from a pretty simple gripe that occured to me while concepting New Frontiers; the fact that everybody with superman powerset fights in exactly the same, boring way- fly up to someone and punch, maybe float up slightly higher and punch. maybe throw someone around a bit. God Forbid you kick!! Literally we are dealing with super strength and the ability to levitate and move your body on every axis here!!! Even on the ground, where the humble punch is the most efficient way of delivering a heavy blow to another person, there are a million billion different variations!!!

Proto-grindstone rejected the superman style of forward punching and instead was like a human spinning top- accelerating her body through any and every axis available, doing 720 degree backward kicks to deliver as much built-up momentum on each earthshattering impact as possible. the personality came easily from there- in Frontiers, people built their own superpower for a purpose; it was something that defined you. Proto-grindstone designed her power to be something that let her win as many fights as possible- a mathematically perfect brute.

She ended up being the sister to proto-ghostknight; like an azula+zuko situation, but older, and without Azula's untrustworthy+manipulative swag; Proto-ghostknight was timid because he was uncertain of his right to use his powers, while Proto-grindstone was a blunt object, completely sure of herself.

This characterisation was so perfect for a supervillain that it ended up being put almost verbatim into Villain Within, with only minor changes; Grindstone is in her late 40s, and usually makes a point to avoid going full butterfly knife most the time because its more convenient for her to kill people with more straightforward strikes.

Marsh's player established that Grindstone left March to die and i was like. say less king. and the rest of her personality developed from there. Grindstone is a person who can just straight up kill you. if youre talking to grindstone you are never more than half a second away from your head parting ways with your body. and grindstone is very much used to this!

Grindstone sees herself as being the sole reasonable person in a world gone mad (in typical boomer fashion), and both expects and deeply looks down upon the way people around her make accomodations for her to avoid getting mulched. She threatens people into giving her what she wants and decides afterwards if she was joking. She does not have a single self-reflective bone in her body.

After rolling ridiculously well on perception after the first main fight of the campaign, Marsh miraculously managed to steal a car and drive her way into interrupting the inciting incident of the campaign, and unintentionally caused her Aunt's (supposed) death as the latter attempted to save her from the collateral damage of the fight going on. Frankly this is one my favourite emotional beats in the entire campaign and im so glad it happened. the absolute devestation. it couldnt have gone better.

Anyway Grindstone lived bitch, kidnapped Marsh's roommate to get her attention (causing some lovely relationship drama that i still cannot believe ended as non-badly as it did) (genuinely Nina telling the cops about Marsh was on the cards) and came back to attempt to rekindle the furies and get Marsh back as one of the members.

I got to play Grindstone as the horrible horrible horrible person she is- implicitly threatening at all times, with zero respect for anyone who isnt her, and got to keep her as a near-constant threat in Marsh's life- something she cant beat in a fight, someone she cares about, and which she cant avoid. genuinely shes so perfect as something to show a different side of Marsh it was such a good idea of their player to play up that dynamic.

On the other side of the dynamic ofc was Grindstone- who after taking a massive loss and almost dying was dealing absolutely horribly, although it wasnt so much clear to the players, who instead got to, after the Igenous reveal, see her life going broadly downhill, with her organisation gone and Igneous sending teams to make sure she never got a moment's rest, even if he couldnt outright kill her. This gave me this great wounded predator of a character to play with- the players got to tiptoe around her, unpredictable as both a potential asset and a threat. She didnt show up in the final battle, for various reasons, which suited her character but honestly i am sad i never got to pit her against the party- i had to design her character sheet very in-depth so that she was beatable without compromising her established power level from previous appearences.

One of the more unintended results of Grindstone's characterisation is that she has. unintentionally somewhat effected my irl mannerisms. i play Grindstone by intentionally relaxing my body as much as possble and speaking with a honey-thick confidence, a wide smile and what i can only hope resembles a southern USamerican accent. Now. all of this, minus the accent, is the mannerism i put on when im trying to get friendly with someone i dont know, so once or twice i have tried to get someone to like me and accidently put on a slight accent. this is mortally embarrassing but i dont think anyone has noticed. so far.

#villain within #ttrpg #indie ttrpg

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likeadog · 3 days ago

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basically ive labelled it "an active emitter" (an emitter quirk that needs to be turned ON to use, as opposed to it constantly happening) "psionic order" (utilizes psi/psychic power. im stealing this from my ghost class idc) "manipulation suborder" (its main purpose is manipulating the properties of matter) "elemental family with cryokinesis" (moves ice) with "secondary thermodynamic characteristics" (temperature manipulation that occurs as the result of it doin its thang) that are both passive (the frost generation we see) and active (after awakening, ability to control the ice's temperature) . theres also some talk of the todofam when i think something relates to them ig but this is mostly abt geten uh. so. to break all that down. wheels in whiteboard which is squeaking a little.

also the part abt the parents is a headcanon we dont know fuck all about his family. all of this is headcanon actually but i want to make sure you know im not quoting canon there

ice ply works by utilizing psi generated in the brain to move stuff. psi is just a kind of energy, which means it costs calories to make.

getens father, for example, is the result of the himura family trying to keep the cryokinesis quirk as "pure" as possible, resulting in psi generation that outpaces the bodys ability to feed it and itself to an extreme degree. his body is very weak, and marrying getens mother with a heteromorphic quirk was an attempt to correct things by giving the children a better shot at having stronger bodies

the "passive thermodynamic effect" is also present in the todoroki family-- even more so, since they actually MAKE the frost. getens branch of the family has a weaker version of it that serves a slightly different function. again, psi is energy, so it cant directly "make cold". his body instead turns that energy into something similar to the peltier effect, where one side gets hotter and the other side gets colder when energy is added, like how those really small desk coolers work. this means that the internal temperature of the body heats up while the outside cools down, which is why the himuras are sensitive to heat. if outdoor temperatures become too hot for the cold air to stabilize, it can become dangerous. this is ALSO why all the himuras we see are often wearing covering and layered clothing-- it insulates their cold air and keeps it close to their bodies, like how puffer jackets work. geten doesnt generate psi in his sleep, but the frost effect chugs on all the time regardless, which serves to offload excess psi and keep it from building up in the body.

the main purpose of his psi of course is to manipulate ice. basically it just turns into "force" and moves the ice around. the manipulation of the temperature is just increasing this force to change the movement of the molecules themselves, ie vibrating more or less. we see geten physically struggle while pulling the ice "up" from the ground in deika. as force, it experiences resistance from whats being moved, which is transmitted back to the user in the form of internal pressure and strain. he doesnt need to lift his hand to lift the ice, but he can be more precise and alleviate some of that internal strain by moving with the ice. as for what HE feels, i think it kinda manifests internally as if you were sculpting with like, floam slime or slushee balls. he can pick out all the internal individual molecules if he tries and he can definitely feel their granularity, but overall its one single cohesive material surface to work with. or like magnet beads. which is also why he desnt really feel the need to have a really detailed measurement system for it-- he just kinda intuitively understands the amount of magnet beads per arrangement. couldnt tell you the weight of it. its just This Many and all of this is just kinda in his brain in the sub of his fight with dabi he says he "calls out to the water molecules" which i think is very cute. the relationship between a potter and his lump of clay i guess

uhhhhh. pathologies i guess quirk overuse: depends on the type, but in all cases he'll also need to wait to use his quirk again after his psi production crashes and the aftereffects fade if he used too much psi: high internal temperature, elevated metabolic response, faster fatigue if he used too much force: headaches, body aches, nosebleeds, internal bruising both: :D quirk suppression: frost effect is dialed up, fever, headache, dyskinesia, abnormal brain signals, moodiness, irritability. the psi doesnt have anywhere to go, so its acting on the body and causing misfires in other neuro pathways. getens quirk training is kinda a double edged sword, cuz like, hes got a much higher tolerance before his body starts going HEY HEY HEY HEY WHAT THE FUCK HEY but hes super susceptible to psionic sickness if he doesnt use his meta often enough especially if he just goes cold turkey because his brain is just making a lot of it. all the time. it builds up very fast without anywhere to go

so i guess the tldr is

-uses psi to exert force on ice -ice temp change is just using force to either make the molecule be still or to shake it harder -psi uses metabolism and makes insides hot and outside cold. boys gotta eat and is probably so short in part because of this. -he feels blowback from the resistance his ice/psi encounters. -cant use it in his sleep or while unconscious but does produce the cold still -its basically slime stim time in his brain

"are you okay" no i just wrote a dummy huge essay on getens quirk when i said that was the simple version

#geten #bnha #todofam #tagging for my personal ref

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volfoss · 4 years ago

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how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

#asks #wholesome mutuals #vento aureo spoilers #to add that bruno is one of my faves of all time is probably obvious by me putting him at 10/10 #fiance bullies me lovingly for liking leone so that is explanation 4 first bullet #he has not even met him but just calls him piss man #the fandoms treatment of most of these characters makes me really mad tbh

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btsandvmin · 4 years ago

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why do u think fandom brozone vmin so much? it doesnt happen nearly as often w other ships

I have talked about this a great deal before, and for good reason. It does happen a lot, and it has always been like this. At least I can speak for the years I have been in the fandom as the first post I ever made properly was about this exact topic. (The “bromance” issue) It’s short and a bit outdated, and honestly we also have to admit that while a lot of people still keep insisting on Vmin not being shippable and being “brozoned or friendzoned” there are also a lot more people who both ship Vmin and even see actual real potential in them being more. (You can even tell by the increase in analysis here on tumblr.)

Personally regarding the “issue” of how Vmin are viewed I am no longer as annoyed with it as I used to be. I do think it’s mainly a problem when other shippers come and say it about Vmin, because that is frankly just hypocritical. I have also written Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” and Shipping vs Believing that explains more about my views on the subject of friendzoning and shipping as a whole. (Personally I feel Vmin get more friendzoned than brozoned, but that’s just a minor detail.)

But your question was about why you think the fandom brozone/friendzone Vmin so much, so let’s get to that.

First of all I obviously think there are several reasons, but this is all based on my speculations after being in this fandom for so long and what I have seen. Every person could have their own very different reasons to why they think the way they do. I think all the reasons play a part, but might not be equally important and might also not apply to every single person, but rather affect the fandom as a whole in one way or another.

So let’s break it down to the things I think play the biggest role in why Vmin are seen as platonic, regardless of if they are or not, just simply compared to a lot of the other ships.

1. They have since the start used the label “friend” or “best friend” to describe each other. In particular the label “chingu” of course, which in actuality is used to described someone of the same age that you are close with.

2. The English translation and constant use of “friend” will when repeated constantly get stuck in people’s minds and affect how they view a dynamic. Just how “hyung” gets translated to brother, but a lot less well known and noted by the fandom. Basically the western fandom will likely get even more platonic feelings towards Vmin because of the word being translated to friends.

3. Compared to the other “chingus” in the group, Namjoon and Hobi, there is much more emphasis on Vmin as the same age and as being close and best friends. Namjoon himself made a comment on this. I also think the use of “friends” or more recently “soulmates” by editors is a reply to this, basically that the editors too use these words because they are used a lot by the members first. Hence it gets doubly reinforced. Every time we hear it or read it we get another reminder of Vmin being friends.

4. Their early dymanics were less soft. A lot of their interactions were teasing like Taehyung’s “Jiminie pabo” and fans saw it as two siblings or friends rather than as the “teasing your crush”. Basically people didn't read their behavior as romantic. When BTS first started Vmin already called each other best friends, and that stuck, even more so in combination with people basically not seeing any "spark" between them. I would call this preference in a lot of cases.

5. There were in the beginning already a lot of competition between ships. Jimin often focused in a lot on JK and basically flirted with him while he at the same time brushed off Tae when he did similar towards Jimin. Meanwhile Tae and JK had a very physical relationship as well and JK often seemed the most open and comfortable with Tae. I think both of Vmin kind of pushing themselves on and teasing JK was a dynamic many shippers like. Meanwhile you aslo had Yoonmin getting popular due to Yoongi seeming a bit soft on Jimin and Jimin being very open and loud with wanting attention from Yoongi.

6. Some people find Vmin's dynamics boring. To a lot of shippers “too” obvious closeness might be a little boring and get labeled as just being friends or bros. This was in particular evident in the early days of Vmin. It also matters for fan content, and we can see a lot of Vmin fiction use a bit more “soft” tropes and might not get as many readers as more conflict driven plot. For me I would also include Vmin’s bias towards each other as another point here, that people might see as too much if they are a couple and have to hide. Basically a lot of people don’t see friendship to romance as the most interesting, or the "obvious and equal dynamic" as interesting. BTS said Vmin were the closest or the “best duo” etc. but since all of them were close people picked based on preference for their ship. Of course this still applies to shippers now, they fall for the type of dynamic they like, but now they also have a easier time getting convinced by material from other shippers. Having analysis is another thing that can make a ship more appealing as well.

7. Speaking of, fan content getting created and spread will reinforce certain images. Reading BTS fanfiction or watching moment videos you will see a lot of Vmin being “the best friends”. Basically once the image is used a lot, it will get more spread and used even more. It will be a constant in many places and when talking to a lot of people. It will also of course pull people in to other ships that makes Vmin impossible. Not to mention the big ships will get bigger and spread more easily.

8. Now this might not be true for a lot of people. But I have come across a lot of fans who seem to think being a friend is something that makes romance less likely. For me I want my partner to be my best friend as well, but a lot of people do see these two things as mutually exclusive. Many see friend and lover as two very different things and that you have one best friend and one partner, not someone that are both. Basically just the view on friendships and labels and how that might lead to some feeling being romantically involved is something separate from a close friendship.

9. Other ships spreading the narrative even further. It’s easier to just call Vmin friends, honestly. It’s often hard to deny their closeness (not that you should have to just because you ship something else, doesn’t change reality). But Vmin being so close and being part of the three biggest ships in BTS of course their label as best friends will be spread and used even more by those shippers. And because of the size of those ships it eventually gets turned into not just those shippers views, but the whole fandom’s.

10. More recently I would also say fear is a reason why people push back and try to remind the fandom that Vmin are “just friends”. Because we have very bad examples of what happens when shipping goes too far, basically it makes many non shippers try to protect Vmin from the same faith. Not a bad thing (again, as long as you don’t ship something else and is a hypocrite), but it surely does further the narrative of Vmin being very platonic. (A bad group is of course included here, which are homophobic fans, but since they feel the same about all ships it’s just a sidenote.)

11. Lastly, and probably most influentual, is the fact that Vmin and BTS friendzone Vmin in many ways, constantly.

I won’t go into all the examples, but I think we all know a few moments even at the top of our heads by now.

I mean.... They called their song about being soulmates and wanting to be together for eternity "Friends". And maybe that's what they are, but they sure like to remind us.

So we have times when BTS or Vmin basically remind us and spells it out even more clearly that Vmin are FRIENDS. They use it very very often, and personally to me sometimes at very weird moments. Even so, the things most fans see will of course be what they say. Vmin are friends and that is it.

And at face value that is true. I just personally don’t see being best friends (and soulmates) as meaning they can’t be more as well. Especially since they wouldn’t even be able to say more than that. I mean, if Vmin are basically described as the closest in BTS, then why does that mean they have less odds of being real? Being friends doesn’t have to equal being only friends.

However, Vmin have in fact said things against being interested/denied the other, I don’t want to lie. I am sure some would see this as 100% truth and use it againt the possibility of Vmin being real. Like when Taehyung basically said he would rather date Hobi.

However, Jimin said he would definitely choose Taehyung to date, but that gets ignored by people who ship Jimin with others, so it’s really just about choosing what fits your narrative. All ships have contradicting moments or statments or answers where they answer two different things at two different times in general.

We also have how Jimin answered back to Taehyung about liking men by saying he isnt “like that” to Taehyung.

There are moments like this, and even though they might be small and forgotten by most I think they could in a sense still have registered in some fans who then basically managed to spreak the “vmin are just bros/friends” into the more common perception.

However we also have opposite moments when they try to appeal to each other, or like when Taehyung asks Jimin to be the girlfriend etc. and personally though I do take these things into account it’s a bit like when you see members say “men can’t do this or that” and it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be queer. To me even though there are things against most ships, there are still a lot that speaks for some, and that’s why I remain unsure.

Sometimes you might get more defensive or nervous if there is some truth in there as well. It’s all about interpretation, even though I don’t want to blatantly ignore what they say. But since they have said and done directly contradicting things (like how Jimin said he would choose to date Tae while also saying he doesn’t act like “that” to Tae, or how they have changed a lot of answers in general) I also don’t see it as something definitely against them being more. Not to mention time can change things as well.

In the end though this isn’t about what other things there might be that show Vmin might be more than friends or not, but simply reasons for the fandom’s view of them as platonic. (Personally I think they do a lot of things not normally seen as platonic, which is obviously the reason for me having this blog and writing anlysis on them.)

So, Vmin is friendzoned by the group, and by shippers of bigger ships, and even by themselves at times. Then everything else is reinforcement and inability to view them as anything more than friends.

There are some other things I think might play a part in it as well, but most comes down to personal preferences or what you get exposed to. Like who is the bias of the shipper and what things do they come across to make them a shipper, what kind of dynamics do they like etc. (It's more likely for someone who "falls" for JK to have JK in his ship, for example. Because they will focus on him and notice his interactions and then likely fall for a certain dynamic.)

History is a huge factor in general, and trying to change the perspective of the fandom might not be easy. But with a lot of new fans coming in and seeing with their own eyes how Vmin have behaved the last two years in particular, I think we can see a change.

Vmin are loved by the majority of this fandom, and that’s far better than them having people be anti them because of their ship being too big or too toxic. So in the end I do feel it’s a good things for them and for us that Vmin is being viewed as mostly platonic while they manage to slowly include more “normally not platonic things” into their platonic box. (I mean we are at a point where they can casually mention sleeping together and sing about being soulmates and hold hands in public).

Thank you for the ask and I hope you found this interesting. This is a topic I have a lot of opinions on and think is interesting myself, so I hope you enjoyed this post. No matter what we all know that one truth won’t change; 95z is love!

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin friendzoned #vmin friends #vmin bromance #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #btsandvmin

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consumeconstantly · 5 years ago

Text

Small Buff Girl Sightings Ch. 5

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3

3:00AM | CoffeeVamp: bb bat update us TheOG: ^^ more info on the situation in paris

3:28AM | Demonspawn: It is difficult to obtain information on Hawkmoth. The butterflies disperse after they are cleansed, and before they land their target, they don’t show up electronically. Coffee Vamp: o how the mighty have fallen i thought u said u could best me bb boi

3:42AM | Demonspawn: I’d like to see you do better. Coffee Vamp: IS THAT A CHALLENGE Coffee Vamp: ill take u up on that gimme 24 hours and ur going down TheOG: he has had a whole month so dont be too sure of that LadyLady: would you guys SHUT UP its two and some of us have jobs to do Coffee Vamp: cmon babs u luv us dont deny it LadyLady: Don’t make me hunt you down, Tim. Coffee Vamp: oOooO proper punctuation im shaking TheOG: just shut off notifications Babs TheOG: Bruce does Jesus: i don’t think the man has checked this chat in years Coffee Vamp: wdym brucie checks the chat all the time hes just a silent lurker Coffee Vamp: he doesnt even set himself to invisible

3:57AM | Daddy is away. Coffee Vamp: im so glad i have admin privileges imagine if i didnt bruce would have a boring normal nickname like his actual name LadyLady: good lord, why am I even in this chat?? Daddy: You’re supposed to keep them under control. Coffee Vamp: SEE I TOLD U BRUCE IS A SILENT LURKER> THIS. IS. SOLID. PROOF. IN YOUR FACE TheOG: nobody said otherwise Coffee Vamp: also how are the people have you made friends Jesus: Demon spawn? Making friends? Id be less surprised if he told us he has a new fling Coffee Vamp: is j right? Got a winter fling?

4:12AM | Coffee Vamp: ur lack of a response tells us nothing TheOG: im sure he’s just adopted his usual icy persona Coffee Vamp: haha hes the bb of so many things Coffee Vamp: bb vamp bb demon spawn ice ice bb Coffee Vamp: getitt im so funny

4:36AM | Coffee Vamp: guys?

“I told you I could get her to write her number on your cup,” Marinette grins with pride.

“And I told you I didn’t want her to.” Damian scowls and kicks a pebble in his path.

“You’re still wearing the clothes I picked out for you,” she points out.

“You told me to wear it. I wore it. I’m not interested in her.”

Marinette squints at Damian, evaluates whether he’s telling the truth or not. “Huh, you really aren’t interested. I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t wear the other outfit I picked out for you-- that one would have gotten her to ask you out on the spot.”

Damian groans. “We’re going to have to find a new coffee place.”

“Or we could just come when she’s not on shift and run away like mice when we do see her?”

Damian gives her The Look.

“But they have good coffee here,” Marinette whines.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before dressing me up and sending me to my death.”

“It’s not my fault! You only have your parents to blame for your looks.”

It’s true; both of Damian’s parents are good-looking. His whole family is, actually, adopted or not. All of the good looking people he meets are talented and have a tragic life story. Which is the cause and which is the effect, Damian isn’t sure. But it holds true even in Paris. All he has to do is look at Marinette or Adrien, though he’s not a hundred percent sure where the tragedy kicks in for Marinette. Probably the time when she was at odds with Lila, but he hasn’t looked much into the situation. He can even use Lila Rossi as an example. She has even worse color coordination than Damian is, but her features are model worthy. Lila Rossi is also definitely fucked up in ways that Damian doesn’t care to explore.

The effects of Marinette’s well-placed compliments has Damian thinking about himself in a positive manner that he never has before. Bruce is always stingy with praise, and the other senior members of the Justice League of America see him as another Robin that doesn’t need praise because competency comes with the mantle. Dick and Barbara compliment him occasionally, but that’s rarer now that his place is more firmly cemented in the family. Damian doesn’t think he’s ever had someone so willing to genuinely compliment him. Marinette’s compliments extend to more than just his looks, as well. She praises his technological skills as he sets up her website and has complimented him as he helps her out with whatever altercations she inevitably comes across on the streets. If he reveals his skills as Robin, reveals himself as Damian Wayne, will he receive even more praise?

“But since we did buy you that absolute knockout of an outfit, you’re going to have to wear it eventually. So whose heart do you want to steal?”

“I don’t want a relationship,” Damian repeats. They seem like more effort than they’re worth, and he always sees couples fighting and complaining about each other. Plus, they have to make time for each other and his alter ego doesn’t allow for that, though he supposes that he isn't Robin. At least, not right now.

“You don’t need to want a relationship just to flirt with somebody. Who’s it going to be? The intern at the Louvre? My parent’s newest hire? Oooh, how about Nicolette?” Marinette’s voice takes on a more mischievous tone.

Damian will give Marinette this much: her taste in the aesthetics of people is far from bad. The intern from the Louvre is two hundred pounds of lean muscle with a devil-may-care smile and a deep, belly laugh that makes people laugh with him, but Damian and he don’t have anything in common. Her parent’s new hire is knockout gorgeous, with warm brown eyes, and definitely the kind of girl Damian would have gone for as a one night stand back in Gotham. However, he’s also 98% sure that she has a very possessive boyfriend who stops by the bakery every time she has a shift. Nicolette is considered her college’s belle, and her intense gaze paired with her surprisingly friendly demeanor might have been appealing to Damian if she weren’t ten years older than him.

“I’m not into any of them,” he says, simply.

“Then who are you into? Surely someone has caught your eye in the past month?” Marinette looks genuinely curious, but her expression shifts into horror. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I never asked your preferences, if I was being insensitive, I’m sorry, I mean I’m pan, but you absolutely don’t have to tell me, it’s your right if you’re not comfortable.”

Damian does look slightly uncomfortable now that she’s looking at him more closely. His arms are crossed over each other, across his chest, and his hair is tousled. Then, he lets out a small laugh, and Marinette melts. “It’s fine, Pigtails. All of the people you listed are attractive, but I’m not attracted to them. I’m more of a personality guy, though I can’t say that personality has stopped me from things more than dates before.”

He’s had his fair share of hook-ups and makeout sessions in the past when feeling particularly frustrated with something that wasn’t going his way, though his primary method of relief is through sparring. Short missions and one night stands go fairly well together; he doesn’t ever have to deal with people wanting long term relationships, and even if they do, he’s gone before they know it. So far, he hasn’t hooked up with anyone in Paris, but then again, he’s only been here for a month and this is a long term mission. Whatever time he’s not with Marinette or at school is dedicated to piecing together the mystery that is the Miraculous and trying to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity.

“Oh,” Marinette continues to blush.

She’s clearly too embarrassed to bring up any other topic, so Damian decides that he’ll shoot the same conversation topic back at her. Marinette is attractive, and people she meets ask for her numbers and dates often enough. She’ll accept the former if they aren’t a total creep, but she always turns down requests for dates.

“And you? Why aren’t you out there questing for love? No crushes or significant others that I need to beat off with a stick?”

This does manage to lessen her flush. She frowns, turns something over in her mind.

“No crushes right now, no. I used to have a huge crush on Adrien just a year ago. He’s such a sweet person, but we don’t see eye to eye on important matters.” And also not into sex, either. Even physical affection hits him the wrong way sometimes, which makes Marinette worry even further for his well being with Lila’s constant touches. Still, he hasn’t said anything, and Lila hasn’t done anything more than grasp his arm or shoulders every now and then, to reassure the class that yes, they are the golden couple. Marinette also suspects that he is very unwilling to talk about the whole situation in general, and it’s not as though they’re super close.

Of course she had a crush on Adrien. Damian can see it now, Marinette looking at Adrien with her big blue eyes, her lashes fluttering when she gets close to him. Stuttering when she gets embarrassed or when she gets close to him. It makes his lungs constrict, but he’s not sure why.

“As for past relationships, there’s only really Luka. We had a pretty good run, but he’s out of the country, touring. He wanted to try long distance, but I didn’t really want that. But he’s respectful-- there’s no need to beat him off with a stick or anything.”

“I’m surprised a pretty girl like you doesn’t have more suitors,” Damian says, stepping over a crack in the sidewalk as they walk towards the park.

Marinette gags. “There are some other people who have been interested, but I wouldn’t exactly consider them relationship material. If you’re going after a girl just because she looks exotic, that’s sort of nasty. I guess I’m just unlucky in love.”

“At least you’re not as bad off as Ladybug is,” Damian jokes.

She looks at him strangely. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, first there was that creepy sculptor who must have been twice her age, then there’s Chat Noir who keeps flirting with her despite her requests not to, plus all of the random love akumas. I’m not even going to talk about the hordes of guys who chase after her, trying to get a date just because she’s a superhero. It’s not even like she can kick them between the legs because she has an image to uphold and all that.” He smirks, nudges her with his arm. “I’m surprised you haven’t done that with some of your stalkers.”

“Oh. You’re right, huh. Though, I don’t think Chat Noir has actually flirted for a while now.” Chat Noir has been very subdued as of late, and it makes Ladybug worry.

Marinette feels uncomfortable with the way the conversation has shifted. How does Damian know about all of these past akuma attacks? As far as Marinette is aware, most information about anything Miraculous related is difficult to get a hold of abroad, largely because the Miraculous try to hide their existence as best they can, and partially because Mayor Bourgeois doesn’t want word to get out that he hasn’t flushed a supervillain terrorist out even though he’s had three years to do it.

“Copycat happened three years ago.” It’s a question, almost.

“I figure I might as well keep up with the heroes of Paris. I’m here and they’re interesting.” Damian figures this is as good a time as any to bring up his interest in Hawkmoth. Marinette has been nothing but helpful and she’s definitely the kind of person whose heart is in the right place. Not to mention that she’s definitely smart and seems impartial; the one time he asked her about her thoughts on the heroes, he found out that she didn’t see them as perfect. She was able to critique Ladybug in full, which seemed pretty odd considering the rest of Paris seemed to have nothing but glowing praise for the heroine. “You’ve had some awful luck with akumas yourself. Weird how Ladybug didn’t show up when you got kidnapped by Evillustrator. One of the only times she didn’t show up for an akuma.”

“And what happened to the other heroes? It’s mostly Ladybug now. She must be in an awful state with her civilian life.” He looks off to the park, occasionally flicking his attention back Marinette’s face, evaluating her expression.

She catches his eyes and he swiftly looks away, looking almost nervous. Marinette stiffens. He knows, he knows, he knows, he can’t know. But how? How does he know that she’s Ladybug? She hasn’t let anything slip around him. She's been careful not to. Everything she’s ever said about Ladybug has been brief and curt, taking on an almost angry tone.

“If you’re so interested in Parisian heroes, I’m sure you saw the press conference Ladybug and Chat Noir gave last year about why the other heroes would be showing up less often.” Marinette keeps her voice carefully neutral. She needs to play this safe. She’s probably over reacting-- she’s been on edge with Hawkmoth sending out an akuma attack nearly every single day for the past few months.

Damian shakes his head. “It didn’t seem like good reasoning. Ladybug and Chat Noir are too untrained. They haven’t beat two villains in three years. They should let someone else take over.”

Marinette has come across a good number of Ladybug and Chat Noir haters throughout her time. Those who dislike the Parisian heroes often make the exact same arguments Damian is now. That they’re not fast enough. That they should have taken down Hawkmoth and Mayura already. This is nothing new to her, though it does hurt hearing it from Damian, for some reason. She can’t even argue with most of the points he’s brought up. Going mostly solo was because of her own, selfish reasons. She really should have beaten Hawkmoth and Mayura by now.

“The only thing they have going for them right now is that they’re keeping their Miraculous out of Hawkmoth’s hands.” She pretends that the reason why Chat Noir doesn’t show up to battle is to ensure that Hawkmoth can’t get both of the Miraculous in one fell swoop. It feels hopeless to fight villain after villain without any movement forwards. Her mind wanders to the increasing frequency of akumas and smiles, sardonically. “Some people think it’s only a matter of time until Ladybug and Chat Noir lose.”

“Hawkmoth almost seems to be the better strategist.” The two of them pass store front after store front. “Do you ever wonder what they look like, under the mask? Who they are?”

Marinette stares at the concrete underneath her feet. Hawkmoth, the better strategist? Laughable, and entirely incorrect. Even the people who hate Ladybug admit that her plans almost always work out, and that her plans are second to none. Really the only person who can possibly think that Hawkmoth is a better strategist is--

She can’t think like that. Damian is her friend. He’s just curious about Paris. Her lack of sleep and increase in paranoia re making her imagine things that are impossible. Besides, Damian isn’t on her list of suspects-- he told her he’s only been here for a short time, and Hawkmoth’s Miraculous definitely has a limited range. It’s a real pity that the world of Miraculous makes concrete evidence hard to come by, otherwise, Marinette likes to think Hawkmoth would have been behind bars already.

“No,” she lies. Hawkmoth haunts her dreams and every waking hour. She spends hours and hours on theories and scouring out information and people who fit the clues she’s painstakingly pieced together. “Not really.”

Damian’s eyes are a piercing green, and for a moment, Marinette thinks she stops breathing. “Is that so? I’m really interested in who Ladybug is under the mask. I’d love the opportunity to talk to her in person, especially about her Miraculous. The powers she has are… very interesting.”

No. There’s no way that Damian can be Hawkmoth, right? This is all just her paranoia speaking. Damian is just a foreigner who is interested in super heroes. It’s no biggie. Still, she can’t shake off the idea that there’s more to Damian than meets the eye. The way he walks-- no, prowls-- commands respect. Marinette can tell that he knows how to fight, and knows how to fight well. He’s very good at finding information on people-- she sent a whole case file to her on Renee and his situation with his mother within twenty four hours of going into the precinct, complete with video evidence Marinette knows should have been impossible to procure without hacking-- and keeps up with her critiques on Ladybug and Chat Noir’s techniques like he’s watched their battles over and over again. He remembers akuma battles Marinette has half forgotten, because they happened so long ago.

She stares up at him, hands shoved in the pockets of the jacket she chose for him when they went on their wardrobe makeover. Damian is surprisingly wealthy; he purchased anything she even glanced at with passing approval. He looks straight forward, apparently waiting for some response from her. Just because Damian is her friend, doesn’t mean she can immediately expunge him from her list of suspects. So far, she has taken all of Damian’s words at face value. It didn’t matter to her that he rarely talks about his family or his life before Paris. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t brought her to his home during all of the weeks that they’ve been hanging out together. Really, Marinette just figured that he had a rocky relationship with his family, and that he may have been on the poorer side and was embarrassed to show her where he lived. But clearly. Damian is well off enough to afford brand name clothes without batting an eye. Things aren’t adding up. All of the red flags that she’s blatantly ignored start to crop up in her head.

The book on the species of butterflies that akumas are made of, tucked under his arm. The way he showed up after every single akuma attack when she rarely saw him in the area before or during it. His knowledge of the three languages that form the basis of the Miraculous Tome-- Mandarin, Arabic, and English.

If he is Hawkmoth, what sort of emotions would he be feeling right now? Some sort of euphoria, maybe, realizing that he could get infinitely closer to Ladybug when she is Marinette. Anticipation, too. Has Marinette been hanging out with a super villain for the past month? Has she really come to the point where she can call a supervillain her best friend?

Marinette takes another look at Damian’s outfit. Master Fu said that the Miraculous Hawkmoth owns is in the shape of a brooch. Marinette sees no such object on Damian, which could either mean that he’s not Hawkmoth or that he’s just been taking it off whenever he’s with her. She’s really hoping it’s not the second option.

She needs to gather her thoughts, make a plan on how to proceed. When she’s sure that Damian isn’t looking, Marinette sets off the ringtone that is saved for her Maman’s texts and calls. This catches Damian’s attention, and she waves looks up from her phone as though she’s responding.

“Maman wants me to do a delivery. If you’re looking for more information on the whole superhero situation in Paris, I can get you Alya’s number. She runs the Ladyblog-- I’m sure she’d be glad to talk with you.” Alya also has some of the worst conspiracy theories that Marinette has ever seen. She doesn’t often keep abreast of what the Ladyblog’s portrayal of Ladybug is, but back when Marinette and Alya were friends, she was subjected to wild theories that made her stomach nauseous with how little logic there was. Which means that if-- if-- Damian is actually Hawkmoth, he might be thrown off by what she says.

“I’ll see you on Monday? Jagged texted me last night and wants me to change the embroidery on his commission.” This isn’t exactly a lie; Jagged wants one of the smaller details to be changed, but it certainly won’t take as long as she’s suggesting. Marinette hopes that it’s enough of an excuse to get Damian off her back for the rest of today and tomorrow while she reevaluates her game plans and life choices.

Damian waves her off. “I don’t think that Ladyblogger girl knows anymore than I do. She’s of no help to me. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Marinette’s reaction to Damian’s questions are weird. There’s an underlying tension that she exuded before they parted ways, and he’s still thinking about it a day later.

Marinette, who he always finds near an akuma attack right after it occurs. Marinette, who is emotionally and physically superior to most other Parisians. Marinette, who hasn’t been akumatized in a class full of idiots and other victims. Marinette, who doesn’t like Ladybug even though she seems like a fairly competent and kind hero, despite the fact that she hasn’t caught Hawkmoth yet. Marinette, who rarely talks about akumas despite all of the time he spends with her, which is highly unusual because even people he only briefly meets manage to slip in something about akumas into the conversation. Damian feels like there must be some sort of connection between Marintte and the akuma situation that he’s not getting, but it’s eluding him.

He sits down with his laptop in his apartment and looks up information about Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s definitely just as talented as he suspected; in her ninth year of schooling, she won a Gabriel competition, participated in a music video of Clara Nightingale’s, and collaborated with Jagged Stone on an album cover. So that was how she met him-- he wondered, but never asked. There are also a few instagram posts that have tagged her as a good samaritan and a few articles that detail a small, asian girl who’s going around Paris helping random people that are in need.

The weird things that Damian finds are contained in her school records. She’s apparently in very good company with her IQ, but what’s more interesting is all the dates that she is tardy or absent from school. They line up perfectly with all of the dates that akumas appear. He feels dread gather in his stomach.

A few more searches seem to cement his growing suspicions. Around the same time that Marinette obtained a truce with Lila matched up with when theorists believed that the Italian girl started working with Hawkmoth. He reads the instagrams and tweets of her classmates from the first year that Hawkmoth arrived, which talk about how excellent Marinette is at calming them down and guiding them to a better place. He also reads the posts of Chloe Bourgeois and Alya Cesaire and the articles about Marinette and Evillustrator that tell a slightly different story-- that Marinette is capable of manipulating others into more unpleasant situations.

Damian jolts. There is an incoming call from his father.

“Are updates on Paris, Damian?”

Should he give them a clue to his growing suspicions that Marinette is Hawkmoth? No, he can’t tell them until he gathers more information.

“No,” he says. “Information about Hawkmoth and the Miraculous are hard to come by.”

There’s a sigh and what sounds like the rustling of papers from the other side. “I figured. Tim and Barbara can’t find anything over here, either, but the Justice League is worried. They want results.”

“The Justice League and I agreed that having Robin make an appearance would be beneficial. Gain Ladybug and Chat Noir’s trust, or find Hawkmoth. Information might come easier with your alter ego.”

“All right.”

Another pause. He and his father have always had an awkward relationship. Bruce didn’t know of his existence until he was ten, and by that time, the most formative years of Damian’s life had already passed. Bruce Wayne may be many things, but good at dealing with children, he is not. Even after adopting so many children, he doesn’t know how to raise a child. Damian and his brothers have all raised themselves, with Bruce only stepping in when one of them is really going off the rails.

“Is everything else going well in Paris? School is good?”

“School is fine.” Damian wonders whether he should tell his father about Marinette. About the girl who is kind and capable and scarily efficient at dispatching criminals for a citizen and-- he can’t think about her like that. He decides against telling his father about her. She might be Hawkmoth, after all, and confirming her existence to his father means that he’s denying that possibility. “Gotham?”

“Nothing out of the usual. A few run-ins with the Joker.”

Another silence. The lapses in conversation aren’t awkward, but Damian thinks of the playful banter Marinette has with her parents and frowns.

“Goodbye, Father.”

“Goodnight, Damian.”

Damian looks around at his empty apartment. There is nothing in it, except for his suitcase and a few pieces of furniture. It’s nothing like the manor, where he knows that Tim is up at all hours slaving away on another project that Damian rarely gets to see, or that Jason is in the training room with Dick joining him occasionally. He can’t pick a fight with Tim or have Dick try to mediate the conflicts between himself and Jason. No nightly patrols with three or four people talking over the comms, or near instantaneous backup when he gets into a tight spot. There is no Alfred or Barbara or Cassandra or Bruce here. Only Damian.

He looks down at his laptop, at the various information and images of Marinette that he has up on his screen. In good conscience, he can’t continue being friends with her. Not with the possibility that she is the person he’s trying to hunt down.

He remembers her saying that being lonely is different than being alone.

Damian is lonely.

Patrol is a necessary evil.

Ladybug doesn’t hate patrol. She’s not very fond of it, though. It cuts into time that she could be spending sleeping or designing or anything else, really. In the beginning, it started as a way to figure out how everything worked under the guise of the dark and without the constant threat of an akuma hanging over head. Then, it progressed into disproving the theory about Ladybug’s age, because civilians aren’t inclined to believe that a teenage girl who has school the next day would patrol every day in the early morning. Now, it shows the Parisians how devoted Ladybug is-- that’s something that she’s struggled with ever since withdrawing the Miraculous from all of the part time heroes-- and lets Marinette blow off any steam that she has.

Right now, Marinette needs to blow off a lot of steam. Still, even as Ladybug, as much as Marinette wants to scream to high hell and back about how she’s been friends-- very close friends, she’d dare to say-- with the same person who has been terrorizing Paris for years, she can’t. If she screams, there will be media coverage on it, and she doesn’t want to deal with what the press would write up some article about how Ladybug was overworked and needed to bring back the other heroes, or that Ladybug wasn’t mentally sound enough to take care of Paris, she should just give up the Miraculous, or that Ladybug’s scream was [insert some poetic nonsense that English teachers wax about for hours even though the author never intended the audience to read that deeply into it].

Marinette doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s gotten close to Damian. She’s as close to him as she is with Kagami, Luka, Jagged and Penny. Damian knows that she’s MDC. He knows her hopes and aspirations. He knows her family, knows the majority of her friends, and knows what’s important to her. It will be so easy for him to tear her apart now. Marinette isn’t sure what Hawkmoth is waiting for, but she almost hopes that he’ll get it over with sooner rather than later.

What will Hawkmoth do first? Go after the website that he helped her make, probably. Cut off the financial support that she could use to run away and create another identity. Then, he’ll go after her friends, few and far as they may be. Renee next. Her family, last. She wonders who Mayura is, if he is Hawkmoth. She hasn’t seen anyone that’s close to him. Then again, Damian reveals next to nothing about himself. She’s never even seen where he lives.

There’s a shadow on the rooftops.

God, of course Hawkmoth would send out an akuma today. He knows how horrible her mental state must be. There’s no way he wouldn’t take advantage of that.

She yoyos over to the shadow, not close enough to strike or apprehend, but close enough to easily give chase without the akuma being able to give her the slip.

“Ladybug,” the akuma says.

“Cut the crap. We all know you want the Miraculous, Hawkmoth. Let’s get to it.” The shadow steps forward where a street lamp illuminates its costume, and once again, she is assaulted by the barrage of colors on her eyes. After seeing how awful Damian’s color coordination was, it’s easy to come to terms with the awful designs of all of his costumes. Still, she’s surprised that the boy who dresses in the same outfit every day creates such outlandish costumes for all of his minions.

The akuma frowns, tenses.

“I’m not Hawkmoth,” it insists. “I’m Robin, a vigilante from Gotham. I’ve come to learn more about the current situation and aid you in taking Hawkmoth down.”

Ladybug scoffs. She’s not sure what this akuma’s tactic is, but none of the others have tried to lie to her so blatantly about their identity. And ripping off an identity? That is a new low, even for Hawkmoth. She’s sure that the real Robin didn’t agree to this, and if she were close with the vigilante, maybe she could get him to throw a lawsuit or two at Hawkmoth once he was in custody, just for kicks.

Robin the akuma scrambles, apparently looking for something that can verify his identity.

Ladybug strikes. There’s no pride in striking an opponent when they are distracted, but it’s a means to an end. If Damian is dumb enough to send out an akuma confused about its identity tonight of all nights-- a night where Ladybug is distressed and it would be all too easy to take advantage of her-- then she’s going to take advantage of it.

It’s easy to bind the akuma. Startlingly easy. The akuma is different tonight, then. His powers have something to do with close contact, maybe? Ladybug looks on his person for things that could be the point of akumatization, eyes flitting from Robin’s waistband to his mask.

She comes to an unpleasant conclusion. The measurements and the coloring are a perfect match. Hawkmoth has come to meet her in person.

“Damian,” Ladybug hisses.

Damian’s eyes widen, like he doesn’t know how she’s pieced together his identity. How stupid does he think she is? He’s been dropping hints constantly. Information a transfer to Paris shouldn’t know. Never telling Marinette anything personal. Always being near an akuma attack when it happens. It’s almost like he wanted her to figure out his identity.

“How did you know?”

“Please, Hawkmoth, did you really think that Marinette couldn’t connect the dots? You must have thought awfully little of her if you thought that your constant appearances near all of the akuma and questions about the Miraculous didn’t lead me to your identity.”

“Hawkmoth? Ladybug, I’m not Hawkmoth, I’m Robin.”

“And I’m the queen of England. Renounce your Miraculous now, Hawkmoth. Or I’ll beat you until you detransform and take it from you.”

Damian looks confused before his face contorts to an expression of resignation. He recognizes a cold fury in her eyes that is distinct to people who won’t give up until they get their way, and there’s really no other way around this right now. He should have brought his comm with him, but he wasn’t expecting to meet Ladybug tonight; he just wanted to assess the situation as Robin, to get out from his apartment for a second. Rookie mistake.

True to her word, Ladybug beats Damian unconscious and also until he’s black and blue. She’ll be lying if she didn’t say she took out some of her fury from the past years on him.

But here’s the thing; Damian doesn’t detransform. He stays in his god-awful costume that has the same disgusting shade of mustard yellow as that one top Damian owns. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. When Miraculous users faint, they detransform because it takes a sort of mental awareness to handle the powers bestowed upon them. Is it different because Damian is an akuma? Is there some sort of Miraculous bylaw that if a Miraculous user gets akumatized, they get to stay in their alternate form? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s an akuma, not Hawkmoth right now.

Ladybug stumbles forward, breaking all of the weapons that are on his belt, taking off his mask and breaking that as well. No akuma comes out. She tries his gloves, then his boots. She pats him down, seeing if there’s anything she missed. She rips his suit, too. Nothing. There’s no brooch in his personal effects either.

What is she supposed to do now?

Seeing no alternative, Ladybug picks Damian up and yoyos back to Tom and Sabine’s Boulangerie to safely detransform and figure out what the fuck is going on.

He’s not Hawkmoth, is the conclusion Marinette comes to after a side by side comparison of pictures of the vigilante and Damian. The horrifying conclusion: the person lying on the floor of her bedroom is actually Robin, the vigilante from Gotham.

Marinette knows it’s better to err on the side of caution, but she still buries her head in her hands in embarrassment. How can she have gotten him so wrong? She really needs to get better at reading people, because deciding that random civilians are Hawkmoth clearly has not paid off.

She also cannot believe that the Justice League has decided to step in now, and with a sidekick from America, of all things--Marinette is pretty sure that she sent the videos to the European branch. It must have been three years since her first notification to them. She contacted them immediately after Stoneheart, and again, after Syren when she was distraught at the death that surrounded her. With no response, there was nothing she could do. She has to start relying on herself and her own skills.

Ladybug only contacted them once more, after Heroes’ Day. At that point, Ladybug had been thinking for a while that someone who was naturally superpowered or someone with a high grade of intelligence-- like the heroes affiliated with the Justice League-- would do more harm than good if they were allowed in the city. After the devastation of her teammates being akumatized, and the nearly week long battle that ensued, she was certain that she could barely fight her teammates, let alone trained professionals. So with shaky hands and red rimmed eyes, she said to please disregard her earlier messages; the situation in Paris wasn’t that bad, and Ladybug could handle it.

Damian groans. Marinette jumps; he is waking up far earlier than she anticipated. She wants to transform back into Ladybug. Being in her spots gives her a pseudo sense of security. First, though, she has to restrain him. Even though he isn’t Hawkmoth, she’s not sure whether he’s a threat or not. She makes quick work of it, using the thickest zip ties that she has on hand and restraining his arms and legs.

She doesn’t get the chance to transform back into Ladybug, but that’s just as well, because at the end of the day, Marinette is the foundation of anything that makes Ladybug a hero to the public. Damian opens his eyes almost immediately after she has finished restraining him, taking in his surroundings and the person in front of him.

“Marinette? Where’s Ladybug?” No questions of how he got there; Ladybug can clearly carry her own weight and more. No questions as to why there are zip ties cutting into his wrists and ankles; he has seen too many of Marinette’s victims on the streets.

“What do you mean, where’s Ladybug?” Marinette is right in front of him. She might not have the suit on, but at the end of the day, she does have the Ladybug Miraculous, which means she’s Ladybug through and through, and Damian must know that. Otherwise, there’s no real reason for Robin to be spending so much time with Marinette. The fact that she feels more real and true to herself as Marinette than as Ladybug probably means nothing to him.

“She knocked me out on a rooftop. Didn’t know that you two knew each other personally. I’m not Hawkmoth, by the way.” He twitches, then realizes that he’s been tied up. “Why’d she leave me with you?”

So he doesn’t know that she’s also Ladybug? This whole thing keeps getting more confusing. Still, the less people that know about her alter ego, the better. Marinette will keep him in the dark. She attributes his blatant misunderstanding to the identity concealment magic of the Miraculous. It’s powerful stuff. If it didn’t exist, she’s sure she would have found concrete evidence as to who Hawkmoth is by now.

“She asked me to assess whether you were a threat or not. Whether or not she casts the Miraculous Cure is contingent on my response.”

“Ladybug wants you to assess whether I’m a threat or not? Why’d she leave a possible super villain with a civilian?”

“I help Ladybug out with many things.” Her voice turns to clinical detachment. She uses this method to dissociate as Ladybug when things get overwhelming. Assess the situation. Get in, deakumatize, get out. Marinette needs to distance herself. It’s bad enough that the situation is this convoluted, but she doesn’t need Damian to doubt Ladybug’s capabilities as well. “Ladybug knows that you’re not Hawkmoth now, and she knows that I can handle myself with any run of the mill bad guy, even if they are a supposed vigilante.”

“Tell me, Robin,” Marinette spits the name like a curse, “Why should I tell Ladybug that you’re not a threat? That you are who you say you are?”

In all honesty, all Marinette wants to do is knock Damian out again so she can collect her thoughts. She’s not sure how she should address his presence as Robin in Paris and is still reeling from the whiplash of thinking he was Hawkmoth only for him to turn into a foreign vigilante. Next thing she knows, he’ll tell her that his name isn’t even Damian Grayson. Well, now that she thinks about it, he’s definitely not. After this encounter finishes, she’ll look up Damian and Gotham and see what she gets.

He looks flustered, like he never expected anybody to question his identity or presence. It’s laughable, really. Marinette doubts that the Justice League actually sent him; he’s probably here to explore on his own. That means he’ll only be a pain in the ass to deal with. Maybe she needs to get into contact with the Justice League again, if only just so she can deport Robin with more ease.

“I can call Batman,” he says.

Marinette doesn’t think this is a very good solution. There’s no way for her to prove that the person on the other side actually is Batman and not some actor. But after racking her brain, she can’t come up with a much better solution. It’s not like Robin has any superpowers that she can request to see, and she doesn’t have a direct line to anybody from the Justice League.

“Fine. Call Batman.”

“It’s in the pocket near on my right side.” Marinette doesn’t bother going closer to him. She destroyed everything on him earlier, in case it was the akuma’s vessel. Ladybug thought she came across a phone, but now she’s glad she smashed it and left it on that random rooftop. He probably has some sort of tracker on his phone. In any case, Marinette thinks it’s weird for a vigilante to have a phone on them while on the rooftops. Shouldn’t he have an earpiece or something?

“Your phone was destroyed by Ladybug. Tell me the number to call. I’ll put it on speaker.” Marinette isn’t sure if the number he’ll have her call will be some sort of secure connection or direct line that is only accessible through Damian’s phone, but she doesn’t particularly care because the Miraculous Communicators are exactly that. Miraculous. Master Fu assured her that all communications were private and impossible to crack unless they also had a Miraculous. Which is why she’s using the Miraculous Communicator to call Batman.

Damian winces, then speaks into the offered phone.

“Batman, it’s Robin. I need to verify my identity in order to proceed.”

“Are you with Ladybug?”

So he is on a mission, then, and not just playing hooky. If Batman is involved, Marinette has no doubt the rest of the Justice League will follow soon. This will be a dreadfully unpleasant call.

“I’m making it a video call,” Marinette says. “And no, he’s not with Ladybug. I’m Ladybug’s point of contact, and she doesn’t take kindly to people encroaching on her territory without permission.”

“Robin, what happened?” Batman isn’t accepting her video request.

Marinette cuts off whatever Damian is about to say. “Damian was suspicious; I reported his activities to Ladybug and she believed that he could be Hawkmoth. Then, she caught him on the roofs and took him back to my place after verifying that he wasn’t Hawkmoth. Video call, Batman. I’d like to see that you are who you say you are, before I send Robin back to the states.”

“She knows your civilian identity? Two people know that you’re Robin?”

“Turn your video on. If you can’t prove that you are who Damian says you are, Ladybug and I will do everything in our powers to deport him and make sure that the Justice League is not allowed in Paris again. Ladybug said that she doesn’t need any unknowns in her city, and I’ve been hoping Robin came here of his own volition. It sounds like that isn’t the case.”

Marinette thinks that Batman curses in English, but she’s not sure. Fluent though Marinette may be, she is not well versed in curses, colloquialisms, or American memes. The camera turns on. It’s Batman, or at the very least, an actor wearing a very good knock off costume.

It’s annoying that Marinette can’t see his eyes. There’s some white film where his eyes should be, and the fact that his cowl covers more than half of his face isn’t doing her any favors in letting her read his facial expression. She moves herself so that Batman can see both her and Robin.

“Why is Robin restrained?”

“Like I said: he was suspicious. I’m not taking any chances.”

A moment of silence.

“How do you want me to prove my identity?”

That’s good. He’s not asking who she is, though she’s sure that there are cameras pointing at the screen on Batman’s end, running facial analysis and background checks on her. The Miraculous magic will ensure that any connections between her and Ladybug will not come to light. Other than her identity as Ladybug, Marinette has nothing to hide.

“If you’re Batman, then you should have access to the League’s calls, European and otherwise. Play me the last video that Ladybug sent you. I know what she said.” She spares a glance at Damian. His jaw is tight, but when he looks at her, she finds what looks like regret. It’s not entirely Damian’s fault. A mission is a responsibility, and Marinette understands that in order to be a hero or vigilante, one must be willing to do anything to accomplish the mission. Really, she’s only Ladybug because she feels that heavy weight of the words duty and responsibility on her shoulders. Fu’s fault.

“Behave. If you try something, I’ll knock you out.” Marinette sets the communicator on her desk and eyes him. The zipties are so tight around his arms and legs that he is bleeding. Marinette feels a flash of sympathy, then pushes it away. It was his fault for-- why was he at fault, again?

“I have the video.” Batman sounds even peakier than when they started the call. He plays the video.

“Justice League. This is Ladybug. I rescind my requests for help; I can take care of Paris with my own team. Any help from you at this point would be a detriment and could potentially harm the citizens of Paris. Hawkmoth manipulates strong emotions, and I don’t need to handle a metahuman or tactical genius to gain more power to wreak havoc on my city. I will not contact you with any further requests for assistance.”

It’s an awful video. Marinette had to wait a day after the Heroes’ week fiasco just so her eyes wouldn’t be red. At least her voice doesn’t waver in it. There’s a conviction in the whole video that was unique to that moment.

Marinette looks at Batman, then at Robin.

“Clearly the Justice League refused to listen. Ladybug doesn’t want or need your help at this point in time. Why are you here?”

“The Justice League is at fault for not paying attention to Ladybug’s other videos. But Mayor Bourgeois and President Macron can only cover such alarming incidents for so long. Ladybug and her… team clearly need help in order to find and take down Hawkmoth, so once the American branch of the Justice League found out half a year ago, we started to investigate.” Batman speaks in lieu of Damian. Marinette briefly wonders if Damian knows who Batman is under the mask. She bets he does. They’re probably close, what with how worried Batman sounds.

“What makes you think that the Justice League is any better equipped to handle this situation? Ladybug and her team have been fighting for the past three years and resolved every akuma with no help from you. She needed your help in earlier years. Now she doesn’t.”

“Exactly; it’s been three years and she still hasn’t caught Hawkmoth.”

“You say that like the Justice League doesn’t have a team with more wealth and manpower than Ladybug does that’s been looking into Hawkmoth and the Miraculous for the past half year and clearly has not found any reasonable leads. Ladybug has only been actively looking for Hawkmoth for the past two years, not three. The police handled the first year, not that you’ve done any homework on the situation. Thought that a field agent would help your chances?”

There is fire in Marinette’s stomach. Batman sounds so dismissive of all of the work that she’s been doing. It’s been hard on her; she doesn’t have the support that she needs and doesn’t have the experience or expertise to hunt down Hawkmoth on her own. She trained briefly under Master Fu to learn spells and ways to expand her powers as Ladybug, but that was an equivalent exchange: she no longer trusts that other holders won’t be akumatized. Her growing cynicism and physical training from Maman came at the expense of Chat Noir; after the whole Lila incident in her first year as Ladybug, she found out that Chat Noir and Adrien were one and the same. And Gabriel Agreste is not afraid to use his son until Adrien is stretched far too thin, which forced Marinette to nearly bench her partner.

“Three years,” Batman says again.

“If the Justice League can’t figure it out nearly unlimited resources and funding in half a year-- both ordinary and super human-- then clearly it isn’t a question of time. It’s a question of capability. Get off your high horse, Batman. You haven’t given me any reasons why Ladybug and I shouldn’t deport Robin here, and you’re definitely not making a good case as to why she shouldn’t go to Mayor Bourgeois and France’s president to ensure that the Justice League and its affiliates and ban hero travel into Paris. Bourgeois already doesn’t want information on it’s supervillain situation to get out.”

“Marinette,” Damian pleads.

As Robin and as Damian, he doesn’t pose a threat. He hasn’t been helpful, but he certainly hasn’t messed with the status quo for the month that he’s been here. Still, he is a liability. If he stays in Paris, he is the gateway for the other members of the Justice League to fly in and try to commandeer the fragile balance that she has found. She can’t afford for something like that to happen.

“You’re not any better, Robin. Why did you even hang around me? Thought I was a threat?” Her eyes narrow in realization. It makes sense why he decided to hang out with her, despite his initial cold front. He was playing a role.“You thought I was Hawkmoth.”

His silence is an agreement.

“We just want to help,” Damian says, and against her better judgement, Marinette believes him.

Her shoulders round, and Marinette sighs. She can’t truly begrudge Damian for that train of thought, not when she believed the same about him. She’s been a little harsh on them so far, in part due to old resentment that they never responded to her in that first, awful year when she needed the help.

There’s a dull tiredness that comes with knowing someone who she considered one of her closest friends suspected her of being a supervillain, though she did believe the same of him, so maybe they’re even. It still hurts, though. It hurts like when Alya decided that Marinette was mean-hearted enough to stop the members of their class from reaching their full potential. It hurts like when Marinette finally realized that she couldn’t repair their friendship, not to what it used to be. It hurts like when she looked around the classroom and realized that she couldn’t talk to anyone there. It hurts like when Marinette decided that she couldn’t risk helping her friends the way she wanted to.

“What kind of help can you offer us? We don’t need any more of you to come out here.” Resources are nice. More money to fund therapy programs around town won’t hurt. Master Fu doesn’t help on that part. Really, he doesn’t help at all. Even though she has Chat Noir and had a team, she often feels like it’s herself against the world. Some days, she reaches up to her earrings and feels an aching emptiness, like there’s something more to the Miraculous that’s been sealed away.

“We can give you resources. Money, connections, experience. Robin is good with technology. He can help you track down where Hawkmoth is.”

Marinette’s laugh is bitter. “Sure, he can try, but the butterflies Hawkmoth sends out aren’t visible by the normal human eye or electronically until they’ve found their mark. Once they’re purified, they’re just normal butterflies, and they go off in random directions.”

“Normal human eye? It sounds like there are exceptions.” Damian readjusts himself. He has fidgeted his way into an uncomfortable looking seiza position, where his ankles are bleeding.

“A true holder can see the butterflies at all times.”

Marinette also decides to throw them a bone so there’s no questions as to why a mere civilian is working with Ladybug. “That’s why Ladybug recruited me. I was Multimouse.”

Multimouse was in the file that Damian sent his father, but he asks, just to make sure. “The one that can split itself?”

“That’s correct. I guess now is as good a time as any for the two of you to get your questions answered.”

“Why are you the point of civilian contact instead of any of the other more frequently used heroes? Didn’t you appear only once?” Damian avoids looking Marinette in the eyes, and that makes her feel slightly better. He’s ashamed of his actions. Good.

“Ladybug said that the other hero’s civilian forms were either compromised or not in a good position.”

“Ladybug knows who all the holders are.” Batman speculates. He looks less tense now that Damian is no longer tied up, but his voice remains gravelly and distrubed. Maybe that’s what he sounds like all the time. “Who else knows? Do you?”

“Only Ladybug knows.” Marinette lives in half truths. She’s not sure that they’re much better than lies, but they’re all she has. Secrecy is the only thing Master Fu has sincerely taught her.

“Why have all the other heroes disappeared?”

“Ladybug said that it was too dangerous for someone who could be akumatized to hold a Miraculous. Rena Rage, Shell Shock, Queen Wasp-- they were all frighteningly powerful akumas. It’s also why Chat Noir has been showing up less and less; his home life is not the best, and she’s trying her best to ensure that he doesn’t get akumatized.”

“She’s not worried for herself or,” Damian’s eyes flick to Marinette, away from Batman. “For you?”

“She knows that both of us are good at dealing with stress. We have our own methods of coping.” She looks at Damian, her mouth tightening into a frown. “If you want to stay in Paris, I’ll cut you a deal. We can work together for two weeks, and if we don’t get any results, you have to leave and the Justice League must promise that they won’t interfere again.”

“Two weeks isn’t enough time,” Damian objects.

“If you don’t think it’s enough time, just leave now. I’ll say now that I’m only willing to work with you during the night. That’s the time I work on Miraculous related stuff now, anyways. And stay out of the akuma battles.” She doesn’t actually think that working together will help anyways, and she wants Damian gone sooner rather than later. He’s been making her feel too much and emotions that are far more explosive and easy to take advantage of than Marinette has in a long time. She doesn’t want to be targeted by an akuma because of her inner conflict.

“Two weeks, then,” Batman agrees. “Robin can contact me if you need any extra resources.”

Marinette hangs up and assesses Damian. He looks almost pitiful, with bruising around his eyes, tousled hair, a ripped suit, and cuts where his skin is exposed. She opens her trap door in a clear gesture for him to depart. Downstairs is dark; her Maman and Papa have long since gone to sleep, and it’s only a few more hours until they wake up to start baking. “We start tomorrow. If you need Ladybug for anything, tell me.”

He’s half way down the ladder when he looks back up at Marinette, into her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Marinette can’t breath. She feels like vomiting. His eyes are so green in comparison to the purple bruising on his face. She did that to him. She made him look that way. All she’s ever wanted to do as Ladybug is protect the people she cared for. But Damian-- Marinette doesn’t know. She doesn't know whether what Damian has done can actually be described as bad. He was just trying to do what Batman told him to do. Keeping an eye on a threat. Marinette wonders how long he thought she was Hawkmoth. She wonders if he ever thought they were friends.

“I’m sorry too,” Marinette says, and shuts the trap door.

They’re both sorry for very different things.

#miraculous ladybug #dcu #mlb x dc #maribat #daminette #batfam #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayso #barbara gordon #sbgs #original content #adrien agreste #lila rossi #marinette dupain cheng #damian wayne

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usertoxicyaoi · 4 years ago

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Hey faiza I hope you dont mind sharing, but if you do you can ignore this ask, I wouldnt mind.

I have a younger sister who's recently diagnosed with autistism and I've tried to do research regarding it but I still feel helpless and that somehow I'll mess up. She's still growing and I want her to call home a safe place cause she has trouble with the outside world since there isnt a lot of awareness about autism here. Can you please guide me a bit? How you guys handle stuff at home? Any reading material that helped you. Thank you

hiiii anon!!! that's fine! honestly it was hard. bc my brother is the only boy from us all, and we're 4 siblings. there's me as the eldest, then my sister, then my brother and then my youngest sister. so at first, my parents just thought that bc was my brother was the only boy, that he might be developing a lot slower than me and my sister did as girls, but that eventually at the age of 2 or 3, he'd catch up. he didnt.

and my mum was the first one to sorta catch on that something didnt feel right. so after the health visitor inspected my brother and he got assessed, my brother got diagnosed with autism at the age of 3. my dad was a little reluctant at first to accept it, bc no one in my family history (either from my mum or dad's side) have autism or any type of special educational needs or disabilities, so my parents didnt really Know how to handle this all. but then my dad, after some time, came round.

and its not easy at all. it still isnt even though he's 23 now. but we've had a lot of support from different professionals, who are a whole team that have stuck with my brother at various points in his life, like his speech and language therapist or his educational psychologist or his medical staff or his teachers or his social worker etc. so they've always supported us and given us guidance and sent my parents to various courses - like triple p, something i hiiiiiiighly recommend. as a teacher, i also look into team teach, but i'd recommend even that too tbh, as a way to help and learn about de-escalation, and how you can positively help your sister in her education and broader sense of learning. another thing we also use is PECS - its honestly v v v useful for most children with autism as it helps them visualise their routine/timetable for the day/planned activities, but it also helps in allowing them to express what or how they feel, like hunger or fatigue, and helps them communicate their needs to you, if you help them understand what the visual cards represent.

for my brother, we've always had him have his own bedroom, and thats his private space to cool off and calm down that we rarely go in. my brother's non verbal, so he really has struggled with communication. we know a bit of BSL (sign language) and that helped when he was a kid, but as he grew, his school and his teachers slowly got him to begin speaking. he now only speaks in 3 or 4 word strings, not full sentences, but its a huge development!

my brother's really into disney, so he has a collection of disney books and films in his bedroom. what i'm saying is that get the time to explore what your sister's interests and hobbies are, and make her safe space one that holds her interests to help her feel secure. my brother isnt very into sensory textured things, so food isn't a huge issue with him, but for your sister, explore what textures she likes and what she doesnt. we dont ever force my brother into something he doesnt want to do, and sometimes that can mean cancelling plans last minute as a whole family too, which can be quite upsetting. so sometimes what helps is telling my brother well in advance that we're planning to do xyz on such a day, so that on that day, he isnt overcome with anxiety, bc most children with autism need a set routine, and if that gets disrupted, then they will behave anxiously. so now, when we have to go to a wedding or go out to eat, we tell my brother a week or so in advance, and he's okay with that.

but also, build some independence and decision making in them! let them choose what clothes they want to wear, what food they want to eat, whether they want to do english or maths today etc. sometimes things can become overwhelming and they do hit or bite or pinch or throw things. thats the moment where you just say a firm No and step away. let them cool off, and that will give you a chance to cool off too.

and always make sure YOU are okay too. if it gets too much, speak to your family. make sure different people are with your sister, because it can be physically difficult and mentally emotional. if you want to rest one day and have that day for yourself, tell someone in your family in advance and have some me time, and that will give a different family member a chance to spend time with your sister. that will help your sister build more relationships too! some days, my brother doesnt even wanna see my face, and thats ok! he spends that day with my other sisters or my parents or he'll go out with my cousin or sometimes, just by himself, bc they need that too.

and if you just tell someone, if you are going out somewhere, that you have a family member that has autism, you'll be surprised with how accommodating people are, and that helps so so much as opposed to not telling and then you'll get stressed and anxious too. like, sometimes, crowds and big spaces stress my brother out, even now, for example at a wedding we recently went to. but we told the person who invited us about my brother, and they said its absolutely no problem whatsoever if my brother needs to step out for a bit to get some fresh air or if he needs to be fed first etc. and in the same vein, i'd say to keep your conversations with you and your sister's "team" (her school teachers etc) ongoing, so that everyone is on the same page. for example, if you were to go on holiday or implement a new habit or try something new with your sister, if your sister's whole "team" knows about this, then you are all on the same page, and will help build that new change for your sister.

its honestly a learning experience that will never end, if i were to be honest. and some days its so .... hard. and other days its the most heartwarming thing you'll ever experience. make sure you take care of yourself, including speaking to someone if gets too much, so you can take care of your sister. and soon enough you yourself with just ... develop a sixth sense for who and what your sister wants or doesnt want and who or what she does or doesnt need.

🧡

#faiza answers #sorry this is super long but i hope it helps! 🧡

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macklives · 5 years ago

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alright, im actually kind of in the mood to unpack some stuff regarding karkat's character and the way alternia works actually, so i dont mind giving this a go. and while act 5 isnt completely finished yet (so this is an analysis post for act 5 up until page 2305), there is still more to explore, and im pretty sure i have a lot more to read regarding both karkat AND alternia. until then, i will give a general layout as to what i know so far and how i can expand this in a psychological way (especially considering i did my psych exam so my mind is FRESH from studying)

alright, starting with what seems to be the deal with the hemospectrum, theres a total of 12 blood colors. HOWEVER, one of those blood colors is a "mutant" blood which is unwanted in troll culture as it is, well, "mutant", meaning whoever has this blood will get brutally slaughtered. hurrayyy. im guessing it is even lower than aradia's rust blood, as she is allowed to live but is the lowest on the hierarchy triangle. meaning karkats blood is not even ON the hierarchy triangle and simply buried underground where they hope he stays. so its not exactly pleasant to be living in a society where everyone is trying to KILL you or at least keep you away from everything.

from what i remember, troll reproduction is a vital aspect in their culture, that everyone is forced to mate and drones will come by each house to collect the genetic material. this is mandatory apparently, and if someone were to object, they will be “culled" as quickly as they could say no. alternia seems to be really keen on the whole "blood and carnage" thing, which means their probable solution to anybody breaking the law, is to kill them on sight and just leave them there to rot - regardless of who they are and what families they comes from or have. trolls are free to kill whenever or whoever they please without any governmental repercussions. which means revenge upon revenge happens without any policy.

however this is very important when looking at karkat, because karkat may not be able to do the whole reproduction process (not that we necessarily want him to, im saying this in terms of how its mandatory for every troll and there will be a time when the drones WILL come for karkat). but as he is already a mutant and if they were to "collect" from him, they would find out his blood regardless of how he hides it. they will either cull him for saying no, or cull him for his blood. karkat, in this sense, is doomed regardless. which makes his character much more interesting.

and keep in mind alternia kind of sucks, because from the looks of it, trolls are constantly tested throughout their lives to prove themselves to society that they are allowed to live and survive. but ONLY if they are the strongest among them. alternia wants to become this fearful planet where the weak die off and only those proven worthy can stay to grow up and slaughter more of their kind until the world is nothing but blood thirsty strong murderers. im not too sure who is governing alternia but they can suck a dick if they think this is how good morals work. alternia only really has one way to solve things which is to kill those who question/fight back, OR to kill those who CANNOT fight back essentially. which puts all the trolls through a double edged sword where they cannot do anything but follow the guidelines given to them by troll's society and government, and try to survive as much as they can until then.

if i remember correctly, when it comes to the law side of things. if you look at it from terezi's introduction where she explains prosecutions with her plushies (lemonsnout ect ect i forgot the term for them lol), she said "you are guilty until proven innocent" which is the polar opposite of "innocent until proven guilty” used in OUR own society today (tho i guess we are by far the "good guys" in this situation, but we are far different than how trolls live their lives). anyways, what this means is that everyone dies regardless unless theres literal proof that they have not done the crime. even so i wouldnt put it past them to do nothing about their case even WITH proof. terezi even goes to say that technically there is no way to deal with the law on alternia, and most of crimes get solved through death. she even demonstrates this by how easily she hung the "suspect" and flipped a coin to determine his fate. however, even with the coin landing on the side of safety, where the suspect were to be released, she said "im blind remember i cannot see this coin" and essentially "killed" him. while terezi may have just been playing with her plushies, theres something we can take from this which dictates how their actual court cases are actually solved.

NOW, vriska (yes ik pls bare with me here, i will not make it about vriska but i do have a point here), from the last few pages i saw, can basically kill her friends in an instant, without any remorse. i can tell she sees this as the most "necessary" solution for her problems. i wouldnt say its for survival, but she does do it as a way to provide some sort of safety on alternia. she is a higher blood, and apparently the high bloods are known to kill whoever they please as long as its convenient. and since trolls have this whole fad of "killing the ones who cause you trouble so the problem is out of the way", she is wired to think its the only solution when threatened or when you dislike a person.

god, she killed aradia because she wanted "revenge", because she wanted to get back at aradia for tormenting her with ghosts EVEN IF aradia did so because she threw tavros off a cliff in the first place. this may have worsened their friendship, KEEP IN MIND THEY WERE FRIENDS, but NEITHER, and i mean neither terezi/vriska/aradia, had any remorse if the other dies as long as there was a reason. in the story, vriska didnt care what happened to tavros because she disliked him, therefore becoming pretty bias over his fate. because of this attempt at killing, aradia didnt care what happened to vriska either, and neither did terezi. terezi sold her out to one of the most powerful beings on their planet, solely because of their revenge cycle. as long as the troll in question did something "malicious”, then that plays a factor in their morals. vriska gave no second thought to killing both of her friends (or at least attempt to with tavros), terezi also tormented john in act 4 which led to his “doomed timeline death” and sold vriska out after she realized vriska wouldnt change. so no fucking WONDER karkat tries to hide who he is, he's overly cautious to not let it slip out because even the people he calls friends could backstab him at any given time considering theres LITERAL EXAMPLES OF THESE TROLLS HAVING DONE SO.

to karkat, he sees this as dangerous, which is why he even CALLS vriska dangerous to begin with. she might not even hesitate to kill him herself or maybe sell him out to the drones, because 1. she may not want to be a witness to something society actively seeks to destroy and 2. she cares more for her survival than karkats. EVEN if they were friends (re: aradia and vriska and terezi). so it just shows.

on that note, i find it funny how karkat indirectly distracted vriska after she baited him with the question of his blood in a past conversation, which prompted karkat to monologue about troll romance. he was, yes, VERY interested in this topic to start with, but it was a nice little bonus for karkat as to not be found out by the one person who would most likely kill him even if it wasnt on purpose. however, we do not know how this will play out IF she does find out, we just know karkat is in the right to be scared of the theory.

and, alright i do have to mention this, while karkat may have been an angry fucker to START with, who spites the world and throws out insults every chance he gets, i feel he does this as more of a survival instinct as well. he doesnt care what he says to people no matter what they rank on the hemospectrum. they dont know his blood color so he feels he has some sort of immunity, but he just needs to keep it hidden. it also may just be his personality, as he IS a character who was given specific traits and andrew went along with it without so much thinking about plot. yet if you look at this from more of the metaphorical route, think about it with uhhhh lets say the perspective of how dogs work. for example, when you put a chihuahua next to a doberman, a doberman is more of an excited, energetic dog whereas a chihuahua will rain hell down on anybody who so goes near them. sometimes this is to make up for their size, to seem as menacing as the larger doberman, as they have nothing else to fend themselves with. another way to look at it is, if you see a bear (i forget if its black/brown or grizzly) you make yourself seem like the bigger person by scaring it off with sounds and eventually it will leave you alone. these sort of tactics work in the sense of survival. this is sort of what karkat could be doing, he uses insults and a defensive shouting to not really "hide" himself, but to have some sort of way as to not be found out if people start to question. someone asks him "hey karkat whats your blood" he goes "FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, END OF STORY" which could make a person go "yo sorry dude forget i ever asked". so this could be a factor as to why he is so crabby, however on the other hand, he is crabby because that is also his character. andrew probably thought yo cancer = crab = crabby. however i do like how he is perceived and the whole "mutant blood" really made me do a double take on how he views life himself. he has to always hide who he is or he will get physically killed. alternia would take joy in finding out he does not belong there because lets face it, alternia is a bitch of a planet.

this also brought me to ask the question, why does karkat want to be a leader if hes so scared of what would happen to him if he were to be found out? which then, at first i said lol this is just karkat, he wants to a leader because he just wants to be the leader, he likes when things go to plan and that he the most say in their sburb plans considering he thinks everyone else is a "dumbass". to which, i then thought about it more and went ouch what if hes a leader because he knows hes not valued enough in society, that he somehow wants to feel some sort of importance in the world, so he wants to become a leader. i imagine younger karkat, not knowing why his blood is so undermined, finding out he is not wanted and suddenly on the most wanted list without having even DONE anything. even TAVROS said he was on that list, but only because he was weak and had no back-bone, here karkat may have been strong but no matter what, he was to be culled BECAUSE of his blood. something he cannot change no matter what. imagine a little kid knowing he will die at any point because of who he is (rlly sounds familiar if you think about it). so of course, he hides himself from the world, but do you think for an instant, little angry karkat wants to simply be FORGOTTEN about? i doubt that, he wants to be heard, he doesnt necessarily want to be rejected as he knows he will be, so while he does hide his blood, he wants to have a voice no matter what. when being a leader, people dont reject you, they LISTEN. they all may not want to because karkat is just a fucking ticking time bomb, who can lash out at any second, but i feel theres now a reason why he has this superiority complex. he wants to sort of become the person he knows he never will become (if you put it into that perspective). so thats kind of why im giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

i would also like to point out a sort of.... comparison?? not with the dogs but with unwanted children in a family household. this doesnt necessarily apply to karkat, but sub in family household with society and it might as well. (on that note, a warning/viewer discretion, if you have any problem with this kind of discussion, i wouldnt read further into this paragraph and skip to the next one) alright, the unwanted child psychology basically deals with the process of a child which is neglected by their parents, and/or know that they were never wanted in the family. i read an article a while back when we were discussing this in a lecture, we were browsing multiple people's perspective on the matter, and one said "An affective relationship may be suffocating to [the unwanted/neglected child]: it’s a defense against intimacy of which they know nothing. Normally they fluctuate between egotism and deep feelings of inferiority. They don’t understand what a balanced and healthy self-esteem looks like." it explains how the child who grows up in an unwanted home admits great emotion deprivation, because the child's bonds of affection are extremely fragile, and this can lead to both egotism and feeling like they are inadequate. and it really strongly shows karkats personality. we havent gotten that much from him in general, but considering how he uses this egotism to cover up the fact that he may be doomed, really shows the similarity. i liked this short article so i want to give some points to take into consideration, specifically this part: "It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy relationships of affection in their adult life. Love is a foreign language to them. They don’t know how to decipher the codes and much less how to build them. It’s very hard for them to need and to be needed. That’s why, more often than not, they completely shirk their conflicts with peers and superiors, or do nothing but generate them. They speak incessantly about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in the world. A person with such a background will need help to get through those abysses of love that live in their heart. The most important step is that they recognize that their discomfort doesn’t depend on who they are, but the circumstances that led to their being." it may not be 100% tru for karkat but theres a small portion of it that can link back to karkats view on life and how being this mutant can really change who he is as a person. and i hope you can see the similarity between karkats character and this form of psychology. yet i also do not fully know the depth of karkat vantas. however i do hope it continues to build up in this way, as it would be both interesting and make us feel more for him as a person.

alright, i think if i write any more i will never stop aghjsk, which is a bit too much for a sunday afternoon, basically to sum up this post, trolls are violent and karkat will be killed if hes found out, even by his friends if it comes down to it. so karkat cannot really trust anybody, hes alone and imagine the thrill he had when he saw jack cut his hand to show the bright red blood? that he finally has someone LIKE HIM. imagine when he finds out about the kids. so i believe in his growth, while he needs to get a better vocabulary, i do get why hes so defensive all the time. because hes both scared and unwanted. and he wants to make up for it.

and i guess with all that being said, you can tell i now have a slight soft spot for the kid lmao

#hs95 #hs95 ask #anon #ask #analysis #i may not have it FULLY understood yet but thats my perspective of karkat vs trolls society

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chat-noir-always-here · 5 years ago

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I rewatch Miraculous—Mr. Pigeon

Behold!!! The episode that almost made me stop watching Miraculous.

No for real i think i got up and left the room first time around, this episode was so ridiculous.

• “You only have one day to work on your fashion piece.” Only a day? That seems kinda unrealistic when you take into account designing, gathering materials, whether or not you need to go out and buy any materials, the amount of time it takes to actually put all that together...

•WHOA Gabriel’s actually smiling in that pic Mrs. Bustier shows. Er, smiling-ish

•Pure cinnamon roll child seems proud this peppermint frappucino dickhead is his father (Gabriel ur hair looks like whipped topping and that tie doesnt help). BE GRATEFUL FOR SUCH A CARIBG CHILD YOU PRICK!!!

•Maaaaaariii chill the fuck out your overactive imagination and severe anxiety are getting the better of you.

•AHEM Gabriel has a purple bowtie in Mari’s imagination instead of that ridiculous peppermint scarf he uses to hide Nooroo’s broach???

•Adrien: appears out of nowhere

Marintette: jerks and flops away like a fish on dry land

Me: lol bye Marinette

• Adriens beuatiful face when Mari is talking to him (before she blunders and stumbles with her words) is beautiful

•Mari’s beautiful face when Adrien is telling her “you’re so talented Marinette!” and the subtle tremor in her eyes as they widen with her smile...☺️😊😘i love my beautiful, anxious mess of a daughter

•Mari: Follows Adrien with her eyes like an owl. LMAO.

•Chloe does not deserve Sabrina 😒

•Whereas Gabriel resembles a peppermint frap, Hawk Moth/Papillion appears to be the result of what might happen if Batman and the riddler had a baby

•Ramier, bruh, there is like. Zero. Fucking. Reason to be that upset over not being allowed to feed pigeons. For real. Go feed them on some rooftop somewhere if you must. No reason to let Hawk Daddy akumatize you over it...

...

...You know what? We’re not calling Gabriel “daddy.”

EVER. Again.

•Also Hawk-shitface, pigeon dude is your worst idea and you keep coming back to him. Seriously at least put some effort into your champions’ outfits. Youre a fashion designer for petes sake!

• wow this show really loves its skin-tight body suits, huh? Even when they look ridiculous.

•Sabrina how the hell much did you have to pay for a cellphone that lets you zoom in on a fucking sketch from dozens of feet away and score yourself a crystal-clear image???

•Sabrina: “We’re soooo awesome!”

Chloe: “We?”

Chloe does NOT deserve Sabrina.

•Arent real bird feathers full of germs and bacteria that cause diseases? And Marinette “im immune to bird flu” Dupain-Cheng just plucked that shit up off the ground and put it on her hat of all things. I dont know whether to be fisgusted or impressed.

•Chat “paint me like one of your French girls” Noir for the win everybody

• “Im allergic to feathers.” I came across a theory on tumblr once (cant find the OP) that this coulda been caused by Emilie wearing the damaged Peacock broach when she was pregnant with him. If thats true i would be pleased😏

•Allow me to channel Chloe for this comment: LB, CN, that disguise is about as convincing as Mr. Pigeon and Bubbler’s get ups are appealing. In other words, NO.

•Chat Noir moonwalking with a hat on—booiii got some moves. 👌👌👌👌

• “You’re the cat dont you eat [pigeons] for breakfast?!” No LB, Kitty Boi is a domestic kitty otherwise he’d present to you little dead things like my cat used to do before we stopped letting him go out. This is an awful joke but SPARE THE BIRDS, theyre just like Ramier—being controlled by a monster.

• “On the count of three my beloved pigeons will commence fire.” As disgusting as pigeon poop is i think they’ll live. Cant you come up with a better evil plan? Threatening to break the glass floor at their feet by having the pigeons stomp on the cage would be more effective. I’m not trying to help the villain, kaay? I just prefer my villains to use their head. Honestly Team Rocket is more intimidating than Pigeon Dude.

•is it just me or is kitty boi especially adorable in this episode??? 😻😻😻

• flock of pigeons put a dent ten times the size of kitty boi’s head in the door

Okay thats actually kinda terrifying. What woulda happened if that attack hit a normal person wearing no magical armor??? They’d be pecked to bits...

• CN: “I gotta get outta here before my secret identity is revealed!”

LB: “Yeah you wouldnt wanna let the cat out of the bag!”

CN: “...Haha very funny.” 😾

Dont dish out what you cant take, handsome boy.

•LB’s look of amusement as CN starts running in place for fear of detransforming in front of others is hillarious

•kitty boi if this hotel takes tips you should really give Jean-whatshisname one. That was the speediest, life-saving room service ever.

•isnt this just Chloe’s room??? Theres a ladybug pillow on the bed and everything. Why did the mayor send CN to Chloe’s room???

• “i cant wait my dear pigeon.” Hmm reminds of later on when Hawk Moth calls Nats “My dear Mayura.” Bruh if you INTO Ramier just ask for his phone number like a normal person, quit akumatizing him and eat a damn snickers

•LB: Time for a sneak attack! Oh no, my sneak attack failed cuz my partner couldnt help but sneeze with all these FEATHERS around.

HELLO, he just told you he was allergic to feathers???

•ugh them censoring out the punches with flashy screenshots is so LAAAME show me the VIOLENCE.

• “Cat Noir! Grab [the bird call!]” AGAIN he’s ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS. Just tie that yoyo to something to keep Pigeon dude in the air and smash it yourself.

• Gabriel is that teacher from Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide who was never physically present in class and was only ever seen through a tablet or some nonsense

•Chloe getting busted my Marinette in front of the principal, Gabriel and Adrien is a great example of how PLAGIARISM DOESNT PAY are you listening art thieves lurking on tumblr, instagram and elsewhere???

•ahem Gabriel that sympathetic look you give a weeping Chloe is very out of character

• “youre the winner Marinette.” Not gonna check out Kim and Max’s hat? You could at least look at it, doesnt seem very impartial to pick Mari without looking at ALL the hats

•siiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhh

Girl they are BOTH allergic to feathers. How many blonde teenage boys walk around with a feather allergy? Quantum Masking or no Quantum Masking, c’mon you should be at least considering the idea theyre the same person from that knowledge alone.

Annnd thats all for now. This episode is more of a vent-inducing hate sink than enjoyable, save for the gushing waterfall of cute kitty boi moments it provides. I may do Stormy Weather later today to make up for it.

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #adriennette #marinette dupain cheng #mr pigeon

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corrosiveblue · 4 years ago

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Venting/Ranting about dumb romance stuff, just putting it as a read more for the few people who follow me and are still active but dont want this boggin up their dash Also gets into some rather embarrasing and semi sexual stuff later (not graphic)..but tumblr is kinda a void..like i feel like we all kind apost stuff for ourselves without actually expecting people to read it

Bruh why is romance so hard, it’s so dumb. I feel so juvenile having crushes omg. It wasn’t even this turbulent when I was actually in my teens but mainly cuz i decided I didnt need romance back then. But now at 20 I’ve opened myself back up and just ugh. Anyway, met this guy online over a vr game we both play daily and I had full intentions of just getting to know him as a friend, time goes on, our relationship (non romantic) kinda progresses rather quickly cuz i guess we just clicked. I would be there and offer advice on the break up he was going through and he just really enjoyed my company and even as of rn obviously really cares about me having told me he loves and appreciates me. (Doesn’t sounds like a mutual exchange like that but trust me it’s not so one sided). But English is a dumb language, and we only have one word for love regardless of what kind, so its all left up to context. And that context is very muddled for me considering he’s very clearly in love with another girl, like cuddling with her in the game we play, and when I straight up asked, he told me that they’re not dating, and he just wants to stay friends with her due to other stuff...but Its very obvious he’s committed to her in some sort of way. But I just can’t stop loving him, like omg it hurts to know someone you like is madly in love with someone else and that other person is mutual about it. But a big part of me doesnt wanna give up cuz “what if his feelings fade for her and he turns towards me” like im in some kinda teen romance drama! It’s just so complicated but Idk if I’m making it complicated or if its mutual like uhhh bouta incriminate myself here (CW: semi sexual talk, also mommy kink..mainly the word and the term milf.. regardless making note of it) Anyway, despite us talking about how he likes his other friend he still jokingly flirts(?) with me.( I say (?) cuz i was a late bloomer when it comes to romance and sexual stuff with others, so im worried i might just be reading stuff incorrectly. Like maybe this is just how he jokes with close friends but due to my crush i think its cuz hes attracted to me the same way possibly??)

For example, while talking he said “more like hitting on you” in response to me saying “stop hitting me” cuz of a simpsons gif he sent. and neither of us made a big deal of that but I’m not crazy for assuming that means something, like even if he jokes like that with friends like is that not obvious he’s attracted to me in some way???? (Mommy kink stuff starts here, ill note when it ends) or how later that day in the server were in ( a small one with a few friends from the same game) he was calling me a milf(im not even close to a milf but lol ok) and referring to himself as my son. And in DMs shortly after he was pretty obviously acting pretty excited and really wanted my attention, and was like “I love you and your milf self”. Which leads into a whole different thing, his mommy issues (what he refers to it as himself). He talks about it jokingly, and has told me I dont help with them (ie. im basically mommy material to him) And while I’m not against this or anything and I’ve returned jokes about it to him, a part of me wonders if I’ve accidentally damned myself to not be seen as a romantic partner but more as a really jacked up version of a parental figure. I dont have as much evidence for this part, really its just a thought in the back of my head. Like i dont believe he sees me as his mother of course, but I know I’ve been really caring and affectionate with him, checking up on him through out the day on his mental health and physical health. So i worry subconsciously I’ve kinda been categorized in this this weird other folder. (Mommy kink stuff over) Like with all that added up, and that fact even today due to a small issue concerning how i feel about him and his crush (although he doesnt know i like him) he reassured me he cares for me a lot.

But god im still conflicted. A part of me hold onto these reasons and feelings to convince myself that maybe I still have a chance, maybe as time goes on he’ll see me in more of a similar light. But the other reasonable side of me feels like a sleeze bag for hoping he stops like his friend and comes to me.

Regardless of all that, I do still want to be his friend even if we dont date but I worry that with my feelings still being how they are, how well i could handle it if he does confirm things with his friend. I dont want to stop talking to him or gaming with him, but considering his other friend is ALWAYS with him (not an exxageration she’s doing online school, and doesnt have to work so she spends all day on VR..itll be 2am, shes online, i check back at like 5pm, shes on, 11pm, still. she’ll even fall asleep in the vr game we play so that when she wakes up she can go right back to talking with him) idk if ill be able to spend much time with him without being uncomfy watching them rub up on eahcother idk, not looking for advice really, jsut putting my thoughts into words, so if you read this for some reason, sorry for how messy and unorganized things are..this is jsut my brain

#vent

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temporarypresidentoftheearth · 4 years ago

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Chess, technocratic Octopus (crimes against humanity in EU/USA/others)

Dear European Union and the Humanity as whole, this text also directed to members of the organization i call Octopus.

The core of this organization consists of members who are very intelligent, primarily researchers and doctors but also others, and they invented a plan in the form of a corona / covid and began to expand with such good intentions under the pretext of saving the Earth from ecological disaster. This action has certainly pleased a few people who are watching climate changes and have noticed that there has been a significant reduction in smog, but since it has been going on for more than a year and they also uses creation of artificial fear, it is time to show the truth and point humanity in the right direction. It's been a year since the Corona story was made, and instead of acknowledging the need to significantly reduce CO2 and other greenhouse gas emissions and introduce normal rules, the organization is still working undercover, and I believe it's because of the crimes against the humanity that core of that organisations made.

I think that either the octopus has spread, or some kind of planetary movement of people has emerged that has different moral rules and values and they see that things have started to move, but in the wrong direction. I noticed a significant increase in interest in my person, whether through secret services (in the form of spyware and MITM attacks, my specialisation is IT and also IT security) but also through articles in the media indirectly referring to my person. It took me a while to decipher it all by deducing thinking and researching.

When my wife was sent with wrong healing fracture of feet to examination called by name gammametry of the skeleton, i was very interested about it and i started to study this examination technique the day before examination. Atomic weapons, isotopes, radioactivity and the like are things that fascinate me and i like to study about them. You can call me a researcher in multiple scientific fields. I feared about the increased amount of gamma radiation because i know how harmful it is. After studying available materials, i find out that a person gains a dose of gamma radiation of more than about a year of normal life, so we canceled it. And we did well, because the available materials have been deceptive.

In my head this type of examination remained to resonate and i returned to study it and found, that it is much more dangerous than it looks and when the so-called radiopharmaceuticals are injected in the bloodstream they use isotopes which in addition to gamma radiation, emit beta radiation in the form of electrons during decay and cause a very unpleasant way of dying. Person who undergoes the examination does not die immediately but his health gradually deteriorates and can die with a heart attack or get cancer or other health complications.

The examination itself takes a long time, about a half day until a pacient pee much of the the radiopharmaceutical and although he is no longer irradiating surroundings, the organs and cells, especially DNA are damaged to extend he cannot be saved. This medical specialization under names nuclear medicine, scintigraphy or gammagraphy is used for crime and must be immediately stopped, authorities need to immediately take action, seize the evidence and create commissions to investigate. It is also needed to stop facilities called cyclotrons or synchrotrons, i will get to them later.

As a major indirect evidence i present:

- Asolutely no existence of research on the non-harmless use of radiopharmaceuticals on animals or people in the long term, i have failed to find anything on the matter subject. I would like to remind you of the incident that took place in Chernobyl when radioactive material (isotopes), get into air. Although it was other elementary particles, it doesnt matter at all. When estimates of how many people died of cancer after the Chernobyl incident, it was estimated at 200,000 to 300,000. Those people inhaled radioactive particles that were in the air and entered their bloodstream through their lungs, similar to smokers' nicotine or other harmful substances from cars. Now imagine that you get it directly through an injection into the bloodstream.

- False information about physics of isotopes of elementary particles on Wikipedia and other sites, i suspect that they change the facts about isotopes of elementary particles and for example so-called Technitium-99m used with half life of 6 hours used in some examinations does not exist. Because there is not a lot of experts on the subject, other people accepts it as the truth. Also the so-called Internal conversion, which is a method of converting atomic nuclei without emitting beta radiation when they decay into lower elements. The organization changed the history of science and abuses the complexity of the topic as covering. I suppose that their claws are so long that you can also find false information the high school scripts as well.

If I am wrong at this one point and if the meta state of the isotopes also exists, some of these substances will still bind to the tissues and still remain in the body, causing heavy metal damage. It is necessary to use correct dosimeters to check what type of radiation is emitted by radiopharmaceuticals, gamma and beta and to distinguish the percentage, this can also confirm the type of isotopes contained in the radiopharmaceutical and there is need to use other techniques to identify the atoms themselves such as spectroscopy and the like.

- On the https://reddit.com/r/nuclearmedicine forum there is indirect evidence in the form of a complaint from one of the employees in America that complains about the congestion at work and the increase of people who come to test, the post on forum is month old. So yes, a few criminals alredy stared murdering more people.

- On the same forum it is debated why nuclear medicine and classical RTG and CT are separated as medicinal fields, RTG and CT use as x-ray/gamma external source and that is very very big difference. Also person asking for advice get recommendations to employ in a classic radio instead nuclear med. People who work in nuclear medicine prefer to send that person else for moral reasons.

Because nuclear medicine is operated almost everywhere in the world but primarily in western democracy countries, I dare suppose this organisation is at planetary scale and created story of Corona and also I dare suppose there are other iniquities that needs to be stopped.

I infer that the momentary management of this organization is technocracy, the only one could commit abuse of scientific research on such terrible things. And it also uses the technique of artificial creation of fear, it is obvious because it has such practices and equipment.

Solution proposals: For a moment i will play a role of the President of the Earth and I am giving you these recommendations.

Police investigators - INVESTIGATION: It is important to get the list of all patients examined with injected or drinked radiopharmaceuticals. It is need to be verified how long they lived after the examination or if they are still alive how much their health detoriorate. This also relates to other examinations where radiopharmaceuticals are injected into a blood circulation or drink, e.g. PET Scan, which can be done in other hospitals. PET itself is an abbreviation for POSITRON Emission Tomography, which is also cover name of use of hazardous beta radiation using isotopes injected directly into the bloodstream.

Involved will probably be some specialized doctors. It is necessary to identify them and interogatte them about this practice, if they know about it and identify if they used it and if yes, if they get the order from other octopus members or if they sent patients there on their behalf. Its important to distinguish if they used it because of fear of their families, or for money/fun or other reasons.

Ordinary people: I propose to all citizens to make peaceful civil disobedience and ignore the vaccination against Corona until the vaccines will be independently verified and molecular structures of they contents published. Be aware that these bad people can have plan to use some harmful substances in different batches of same vaccine. Authorities need to be aware of this. Also please dont go outside to make mess down the streets, it's the last thing we need. We need police officers, special units and army support to go after the bad guys. I urge that use of other existing vaccines, especially the vaccination of children need to be accepted and trusted. Antivaxx movement is wrong. Corona is really an exception. I also propose to ignore multinational pharmaceutical companies that use Corona to increase profits because for the vaccines they create, countries must pay, these are our money used from taxes. We'll take them down, believe.

Within the EU states: Police and special deployment units in the case of a nuclear dissaster (just pick up quality dosimeters): immediately send units into any cyclotron or synchrotron facilities. It is important to deploy enough people and you need to check all companies, clinics and warehouses around. Isotopes for "convicted" patients are produced in these facilities. It is necessary to use independent checking specialists who are on our side and I am not sure who can you trust. You also need to check where are radiopharmaceuticals from these facilities sent. Clinics can be located anywhere else in your country. Isotopes have short half life, so they are created non-stop and transported periodically. Cooperation at European level is required.

Governments of european countries and also others, it is clear to me that there are secret agreements around the existence of the cyclotron/synchrotron facilities to ensure the inviolability of these facilities, similar to embassies, do not try to cover up this problem. I ask you on behalf of humanity to immediately declassify these documents and other information with whom the agreements were signed and which lobby groups are behind it. If you refuse or hesitate for a long time, you will be judged in the future for helping crimes against humanity.

I also want to warn the authorities that the current vaccines that are already in your country may be harmless, but the Octopus plan can be that harmful substances will be added in other batches later. Therefore, it is necessary to introduce persistent monitoring of these vaccines by someone other than the pharmaceutical companies themselves. At the same time, I am asking for a complete identification of substances at the level of conventional medicines, like ibuprofen on wikipedia e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibuprofen Where you can see the molecular structure of ibuprofen as well as the various chemical identifiers used to identify chemicals.

I want to draw your attention to the fact that the octopus management is aware that it can't feed this PR for a long time and will have to revive the corona in some way to really start dying a lot of people, I believe they can do it with those vaccines, but so far i think they testing society how much it can handle and to get more money. Until I see the crowded cemeteries, I think we are still on the edge when we can intervene, action is needed immediately.

I would also like to point out a fact, that the source material used in cyclotron and synchrotron facilities must be at first prepared in special reactors. From internet sources it is for europe mainly research reactor Petten in Netherlands. Material is periodically sent from there to individual cyclo/synchrotron facilities in european countries. Then it is processed there to create individual isotopes and also prepared as radiopharmaceuticals. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petten_nuclear_reactor And dear EU government, EU council, and all you ladies and gentlemans in Brussel or other cities. The reactor is property of European Comission, be aware. And from wikipedia it is operated by Nuclear Research and Consultancy Group. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_Research_and_Consultancy_Group

Some surprised new members of Octopus: Stop being afraid and start writing and talking about it, threads need to be unraveled.

Media: You have my permission to disclose this text in the original version (without correcture). If you are connected to octopus, i propose you to ignore any other commands from octopus and you should stop writing anything about Corona as a protest and concentrate on this issue.

This organization lack moral values as justice, truth and honor. I live in the European Union and the United Nations for which I believe are these moral values important and I was trusting them, but now I was disappointed in Western democracy, it is important to return to these moral values.

When I find out the truth a few days ago I was in shock and I had very sad instead of cheerful Christmas. If humanity wants to handle the ecological crisis I propose a return of justice, more opennes, truth, humor and not artificial creation of fear of bad virus that does not even exist. Increasing the differences between the first percentages of the richest and the others is inadmissible.

The fact that CO2 emissions have been reduced thanks to Corona is praise, but these crimes against humanity must be punished.

I propose members of the organization, if it will remain, to change their internal political system to sophocracy, the technocracy is clearly unattuded. But I also refuse and I do not show interest in any way to join, work for you or make any decisions.

CORE OF OCTOPUS: Since it reminds me of the chess game, I already has been thinking about your next step. You will try to take over of messages in the media with some unfairness type like terrorist attack and creating another fear. I have a horrical ideas about reappearing abuse of atomic or biological research and detonation of atomic bomb in some EU state or elsewhere in the world that fits some terrorist organization. I ask you from dropping from such an intention. Give up voluntarily, it will be in your favor.

I ask other multinational corporations to confirm they are on our side and condemnation of these practices. The fact that withdrawals from the ATM are already limited to +-200 euros indicates to me the sad things dear financial corporations.

I propose that scientists and doctors who knew about the existence of nuclear medicine and about what it serves, but they were afraid of fear of talking about it, publicly stepped out, apologized and said they were sorry. As a society we need such people, so it is important that they should not be afraid to talk about such practices. Scientists and doctors who knew what nuclear medicine is used for and send people to such examinations need to be judged.

I also want to ask investigative journalists about proper documenting and investigative work. There are multiple types of nuc med examinations. For example, heart examination has the highest dose of radiation, I think that with this one patient dies on a heart attack within a few days or hours. For gammametry of skeleton i estimate a few months to death on leukemia or other type of death/cancer.

Thank you for your attention.

P.S. The actions that you as people will do in the coming months and years will evaluate not only your children or grandchildren. I dare to philosophize. Overgrowing and ecological problem on the planet afflict every developed civilization that missed the space colonization, it is important how we approach the problem. If there is any advenced civilisation outside, or if there are more of them and there is some community, know that our actions and form of society we build will be also evaluated by them. But do not beleive and do not hope that they will help us. Believe only in yourself.

And in case society refuses to correct these crimes, I refuse to help current society, be it research, some ideas or something else.

#love humanity future corona covid octopus isotopes nuclear atomic radioactivity

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stigmaframe · 6 years ago

Text

An Analysis on Sentients

cuz why not, they’re my favorite bad guy faction cuz they’re so alien and interesting. granted some of the shit we find out sorta demystifies them, but i still like em

so back in the very start, a given Archimedian, which i think is an Orokin term for scientist, named Perintol created a type of terraforming machine, its base form was a black star-shaped entity, no bigger than a hand. it looked rather simple, seamless, and matte. its insides looked gelatinous and glossy. its designed with the ability to change its physical properties on a level microscopic if not molecular. this would be useful because they were to be used to reach and Terraform Tau, the journey to which is described as perilous.

the Terraforming Machines would collectively travel the path, adapting and propogating environment around them as they go, with the specific purpose of not only making the Tau system habitable for the Orokin, or rather, the humans, but they would also build an interstellar rail with which the humans would travel to Tau.

based on the Mag Prime lore, we know that the Terraforming Machines at least finished the interstellar rail. and the Terraforming machines adapted to such an extent that they evolved...and they evolved to such an extent that they literally became sentient, self aware, thinking machines.

and whats especially remarkable is the fact that they are, in some odd form, alive. they went from being dynamic adaptive machines to thinking and living machines, quite comparable to the potential positive outcome of the Geth in Mass Effect 3.

the machinery that makes Sentients function is exactly the same as when they were simple Terraforming machines, the only difference is the forms they take. they are physically diverse and regulated by a unique life force. considering the terminology Hunhow uses, each distinct unit is considered a piece of a full Sentient body. but at the same time, that body is commanded as though the individual units are drones and thus require direction by a host or “regent” of sorts.

every Sentient unit is linked to a regent. and every regent is linked to a singular master regent, which im assuming is the Sentient Mother that Natah mentions. Hunhow is the regent to all that comprises his body, including Natah, who is a regent herself. because of this, he can invade her thoughts. however because of Natah’s own regent status, i dont think her mind can be overriden indirectly, specifically indirectly. then again, it could simply require a powerful regent to perform such a thing.

its not very easy to know all the things a Sentient can possibly do, but one thing they absolutely cannot do is adapt to the properties of the Void. Archimedian Perintol put in this flaw as a safety measure, because he knew that such an adaptive machine could evolve to intelligence, which is something that the Orokin forbade. so no matter how hard they try, the Void would always compromise their structures. but whats interesting about this is that not only is the void poison to Sentients, it also makes them sterile, incapable of further propogating. for beings that can travel the Cephalon Weave(which is the digital network of the Cephalons), this is a very odd flaw to have.

so at some point during their Sentient status, they learned that the Orokin were responsible for the bad state of the Origin System, whatever that be. and they concluded that the Orokin would bring ruin to the Tau System as well, the place that the Sentients call their home. it is unknown if a prior conflict transpired, but either way, the Sentients went to war with the Orokin. its likely that they attacked first. and seeing that they now have to fight, the Sentient regents reconfigured their bodies for war.

speaking of which, thats how Sentients carry out tasks. they reconfigure themselves to be fit for such tasks; a Battalyst cannot do the things a Conculyst can. and there might be constraints to what configurations regents can conjure up. for example, there is yet no evidence suggesting that Hunhow knows how to configure Mimics or Teralysts, not to mention the form of the dead tower-size regent outside the plains. this is not to say that he is incapable of learning.

so the Sentients are at war with the Orokin. they sent their regents through the rail into the Origin System to battle, this unfortunately rendered them sterile. but they continued to slaughter the human forces. then the scales tilted in the favor of the Orokin when they unleashed the Tenno.

as revealed in The Sacrifice, Ballas had been conspiring with Hunhow, who was likely leading the other regents in the war. Hunhow knew about the secret of the Tenno. so he forms a plan to use the Tenno to destroy the Orokin, and then the Tenno. he used one of his offspring, a Mimic specialist named Natah to infiltrate the Orokin ranks, likely with help from Ballas. she is reconfigured not only in form, but identity as well. she becomes the Lotus, guide to the Tenno. she was placed somewhere in Lua.

Hunhow allowed himself and his forces to be destroyed, to give the Orokin a false sense of victory, a sense that the threat was over. considering that he could neither recover nor replace the fragments he lost due to his sterility, this was a very hefty sacrifice, even for them. his remains were sealed in a tomb in the oceans of Uranus. however he only feigned death; his life force was never completely destroyed, and there was enough living mass left of him.

System are either all destroyed or driven out back to Tau. and humanity celebrates. but Lotus, still following her original directive, gets the Tenno to kill off the Orokin for good. she was supposed to then silence the Tenno as well, but i guess her Lotus identity compromised the identity of Natah, and she betrayed her race as a consequence.

so the Lotus recalls the Tenno faction while another regent drops down on Earth to decimate Orokin establishments, resulting in a conflict with Gara and the Unum, from the telling of this story, we the players learn that Sentients are weak to sunlight and radiation, and that kuva can make sterile Sentients fertile.

this regent attempts to consume the kuva of the Unum but Gara sacrifices herself to destroy the regent’s mind. all of its body falls upon the plains, the material properties of which being altered by the terraforming attributes of the pieces.

even though the regent is dead, his life force is still present within the pieces of his body. a given warframe was assigned to stand guard and make sure this life force doesnt arise again, but it overwhelmed the warframe and consumed it, turning it into Revenant. and with Revenant out of the picture, the life force was free to manifest, reanimating a broken Teralyst corpse and a bunch of supporting Vomvalysts. these are ghosts...zombies...shadows of what they once were, and are thus dubbed Eidolons.

one thing that ive noted about the Teralyst variants at least is that, while they are autonamous, they are not actually aware. unlike the Teralysts, the Vomvalysts actually can attack you directly with intent. none of the Teralyst’s attacks are direct, except for homing-based ones. its a brain-dead entity swiping at flies. its able to perform its given functions, but it’s not coordinated at all. it wanders with no specific destination, and it attacks no specific target. its missing its regent. it doesnt know that, but it does feel that something is missing. compare that to the Ropalolyst, who knows what its trying to kill, who knows that it exists to watch over the gas city.

i wonder though, is it possible for one regent to claim the remnants of another. could Hunhow perhaps link up with and become a host to the wandering Eidolons? it would be an interesting idea.

so time passes and the events of the game happen. being that as a Sentient, Hunhow can configure his body parts to whatever is necessary, he forges armor and a sword for the Stalker, not only granting him Sentient abilities but also allowing Hunhow to speak to him via the sword so they can do their tenno murdering together. its implied that Hunhow’s mind is housed in the sword itself, which is peculiar since the Stalker, with Hunhow, was in the void. but also, when the warframe broke the War, Hunhow disappeared for a time.

by Octavia’s Anthem, it’s revealed that he hid within the Cephalon Weave. i find this rather odd; if it is so that his mind was completely separate from his body, then that brings Sentient meta into question. if a regent can move his mind anywhere else, even if it contradicts proximity, then there’s something to the Sentients we just dont know yet, it implies that their links are metaphysical. Hunhow, while being directly in the Weave, used a cephalon to protect his fragments...who were in the friggin Void, the interdimensional hellspace of the story...he was even able to manipulate the Weave such that he made Datalysts. its known that Sentients can control technology, but this is overpowered as hell. the whole linking aspect is one thing, but they can link to Sentients IN THE VOID FROM WARFRAME CYBERSPACE.

we know Hunhow is purged from the Weave but we currently dont know if he’s alive or dead. but Natah, that’s a weird one. she was in Lua, which she had(as Lotus) moved to the Void. we dont know if her chamber had some sort of protective aspect that kept her alive, or if Lua simply had properties that didnt follow the rules. but either way Natah, as Lotus, remained unharmed for some reason.

but more than that, she is a Mimic-based regent. her particular form was such that it could imitate the likeness of humans. now whether or not this was on a molecular level is worthy of debate, but its clear that she had the spitting image of Margulis. that is extremely efficient. what if Natah had the power to assimilate Warframes and Tenno? that would be very scary. she tricked the Tenno, Ballas, and Alad already. what more is she capable of?

well i guess she is capable of turning organic matter into Sentient matter, as evidenced by Ballas’s current state. and not only that, the Sentient part of Ballas obeys Natah’s command, and so she uses Ballas as a watcher and seeing through his eyes. Natah also partnered with Alad V to create the hybrid Amalgams, a possible future for the Sentient race, one that is unburdened by the weakness to the Void. if it isnt clear already, Sentients are dangerous.

and to add to that, the master regent, the Mother that Natah mentions, is a living ship outpost that can consume debris and probably convert it into more Sentient mass. so the Mother is not only a ship, its a factory. one of the things it has built is the Ropalolist. and it was likely through Natah’s knowledge of the Tenno and warframes that it was configured to negate warframe abilities. thats insane. whats even more insane is that the Ropalolist that we fight is only a means for Natah to assess our threat level. there are probably worse things to look forward to in Tau, such as Teralysts that ARENT Eidolons.

so to summarize, Sentients are a mistake. its a shame that the only Sentient that was on our side is now against us. unless we can unite the factions or perhaps even get Man in the Wall to help us, we’re probably fucked when The New War drops.

#warframe #lore #speculation #sentiens

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