#he changed. everything. when i was rereading the book my friend who loves the show was like ‘so are luke and nell twins in the book’

[steveharrington]

god i know this is an unpopular opinion but i wish mike flanagan had just made his stupid show and called it something else. i hate that people associate the haunting of hill house with that show, and i’m not even saying that i think the show is bad. i don’t think it’s poorly made but it’s just not….the haunting of hill house. it rearranges the characters it strips so many of them of their personalities it just fundamentally changes so many crucial aspects of the story! and shirley jackson was a genius she was a major voice that informed the horror genre we know today and it’s so bizarre to me that someone took her story, rearranged it into something barely recognizable, and still used her title. and now it’s what people think of when they think of hill house and mike flanagan goes on documentaries and says stuff like “when i created the haunting of hill house” and he has a character named shirley but she isn’t even the one who wrote the titular novel within his show, they gave that to a man, and i hate it. i hate it so much. just make your thing and say it’s inspired by the haunting of hill house fuck me

[exhuastedpigeon]

November 24 - Dec 1

Welcome to my second weekly Buddie fic rec list! Here are the fics I read or reread this week that I liked the most! The lists are tagged as ‘Han’s Buddie Recs’ and 'Han's Weekly Fic Recs'

Newly Read

Batting a Buck & Change by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Teen || 15.5k Eddie and Chim embark on a “Dad’s night out” to watch baseball at a sports bar, and after a few too many, Eddie accidentally lets his feelings for Buck slip.

It’s Not the Roaring Dream, It’s the Silent Lightning by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi Mature || 15.2k (or the one where Buck is married to Eddie in a coma dream and he doesn’t want to let the dream go.)

wanting was enough (for me, it was enough) by bigfootsmom/@bigfootsmom Explicit || 13.2k Eddie is back at work and everything is going great. Except he's in love with his best friend and can't have him, so things actually aren't all that great.

He's made it this far with wanting but never having Buck, so he'll be fine.

But when the offer to have a threesome with said best friend arises, Eddie can't not take it, right?

What could go wrong?

Eddie/Buck/Lucy threesome with so many Buddie feelings

the next best thing by wikiangela /@wikiangela Explicit || 9k Buck accidentally sends a nude and a spicy text to Eddie - things escalate from there.

S P I C Y !!!!

Out of Order, Still In Line by callmeewbie /@callmenewbie Explicit || 6.2k When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue.

SPICY!!

i come with a softer answer by hattalove/@hattalove Teen || 5.7k in which there is a frog, and a fair, and an eddie who allows himself to accept what he deserves.

coax the cold right out of me by oklahoma/@malewifediazTeen || 2.6k “You know,” Eddie begins, running his fingers through Buck’s damp, frizzy curls, “when I booked this cabin for the weekend, I had plans for us to fuck real nasty by the fire.”

Buck laughs—an ugly, congested noise that sounds like it hurts when it gets caught in his chest—and tips his head back to meet Eddie’s gaze in the low light of the blazing fire. His big blue eyes are puffy and his cheeks are red, hot by the fire and chapped by the wind; he looks like a kid, almost, sitting on the floor and wrapped tight in a large, black fleece blanket with nothing beneath except a pair of boxers and fuzzy socks.

“Well,” Buck croaks, “we’re still by the fire, at least.”

let me cradle your body (be a safe place to rest) by thewolvesof1998/@thewolvesof1998 Gen || 1.9k What starts out as a normal 118 gathering ends with Buck sitting on Eddie's lap.

This fic is so soft, it feels like falling asleep in Eddie Diaz’s lap.

stay here honey (i don't wanna share) by HungryHungryHippo/@hippolotamus Explicit || 1.8k || Lutalia OR Natalia helps soothe Lucy after a rough shift

This fic is so hot I needed time to cool off after reading it. 

In my defence I was left unsupervised by Spotsandsocks/@spotsandsocks Mature || 1.3k Buck gets bored and decides on a new look.

Can we just say the rest with no sound by devirnis/@devirnis Gen || 1.3k It’s late by the time Eddie finally pulls up in front of his house. In the passenger seat beside him, Buck is still staring blankly out the window, showing no indication that he’s aware they’ve arrived at their destination.

He’s been like this since they left the hospital. Quiet, still. Despondent.

Rereads

let’s hear it for the boy by hattalove/@hattalove Teen || 56.2k in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

This fic is so special to me. It has one of my favourite lines from a fic of all time - “you don’t realize what the world is doing to you until long after it’s already done”. 

in the night we trust by glorious_spoon/@glorious-spoon Explicit || 29.2k Or: Eddie and Buck start sleeping together when they're all stuck at Buck's place during lockdown. It still takes them almost three years to notice that they're in love.

The Scroll of Saint Barnabas by Amiril/@runawaymarbles Mature || 15k The day of the shooting, Eddie got stuck in a time loop. But that was three months ago. He's completely fine now.

One of the most unique time loop fics I’ve read. What happens once you’re out of a time loop? How do you move forward?

WIPs

The Lost and The Found by Spotsandsocks/@spotsandsocks Mature || 28.3k || 3/10 chapters posted

Eddie Diaz was born a shifter, of the wolf variety, and he loves his life. Visiting his Abuela one summer he meets a new friend but not long after that everything in his life gets turned around and hard choices have to be made. Eddie faces his responsibilities and does what he has to do.

Shifter AU, my beloved! As of adding to my rec list, three chapters have been posted! Be sure to follow Spots so you can read snippets when she shares them!

[aurorawest]

Bargain of Blood and Gold by Kristin Jacques - 3.75/5 stars

Reminiscent of Jordan L Hawk's Widdershins series, but with vampires and werewolves. Also takes place in Maine, which isn't a very common setting. Unwittingly, I bought the second book in the series months ago, and I realized as it got to the top of my TBR that I didn't have the first book! I had to scramble to order it and I was happy I enjoyed it since, obviously, I already have the second book.

Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa - DNF at pg 2

Captive Prince by CS Pacat (reread) - 5/5 stars

Prince's Gambit by CS Pacat (reread) - 5/5 stars

Kings Rising by CS Pacat - 5/5 stars

I think I loved these books even more on my reread.

Gravity by Tal Bauer - 4.25/5 stars

Probably my favorite hockey romance that I've read.

The Modern Mythos Anomaly by Juniper Lake Fitzgerald - DNF at pg 132

I actually liked the story, the characters, and the writing in general, but this book just needed another few edits to slim it down a bit.

Lose You to Find Me by Erik J Brown - 4.5/5 stars

Leeward by Katie Daysh - 4.5/5 stars

The blurbs on this book are hilarious, because they're all like, tall ships people, and then Mackenzi Lee, hailing it as a lovely queer historical romance. This was a really lovely book and I'm excited for the sequel. Also hoping for more kissing in the sequel since this was a serious slow burn.

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball by Jason June - 3.75/5 stars

Starseer by Katya Hernández - 4/5 stars

Be Dazzled by Ryan La Sala - 5/5 stars

I loved this book so much!! Oh my god. Super funny, very romantic. It revolves around cosplay which is of course a special interest of mine.

Northranger by Rey Terciero and Bre Indigo - 4.5/5 stars

Flying Without a Net by EM Ben Shaul - 2.75/5 stars

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley (reread) - 5/5 stars

Striking Distance by Sarah Rees Brennan - 4.75/5 stars

I didn't expect to like this as much as I did. The graphic novels were good but changing to a novel format allowed for much deeper characters. Surprisingly devastating and also really funny.

The Old Haunts by Allan Radcliffe - 4/5 stars

The Gay Best Friend by Nicholas DiDomizio - 5/5 stars

Main character is the best friend of both the bride and the groom, and everything surrounding the wedding becomes a train wreck beginning on the weekend of the bachelor party, when the bride asks the MC, Dom, to keep tabs on the groom for her. As someone who is extremely conflict avoidant with friends but not family and romantic partners, I heavily related to Dom. There's also a romance that I really loved.

Romance Languages by AJ Truman - 4.25/5 stars

I think this was my favorite of the South Rock series. It deals with some more difficult topics—Julian's self-loathing over his body image is heartbreaking (and relatable), and Seamus's guilt over the way his gambling addiction hurt his ex was very well done. I'm a sucker for stories where a character learns to ask for help, not to mention difficult parent-child relationships, and this had both. I also appreciated Julian's arc re: sex and virginity.

Darkhearts by James L Sutter - 5/5 stars

Another bandmates-in-love treasure, with a twist—the main character, David, left the band right before they got famous. He ends up falling for one of his ex-friends/bandmates after they reconnect. The author is a musician himself, and it definitely shows (in a good way). I'm really a sucker for The Burdens of Fame, which this book definitely had, but there's actually a really good arc for David and how he deals with his jealousy and resentment over being left behind. Plus he wants to be a carpenter rather than go to college, which was cool.

Brute by Kim Fielding - 4.25/5 stars

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian - 5/5 stars

What can I say about this book? Why was it so lovely? Why did it make me feel so much? Why can I not rate things higher than 5 stars? It's a million stars in my heart. Aside from just being a gorgeous mid-century America m/m romance (my favorite), this one features an Italian-American main character. The stuff with Nick's family was spot-on. I just loved this book. I felt like I was wrapping myself in a big, comfy, historical gay romance blanket.

Drowned Country by Emily Tesh - 5/5 stars

The sequel to Silver in the Wood. Had a very mythic and sort of folk horror vibe. This one is from Henry Silver's POV instead of Tobias Finch's and takes place two years after Silver in the Wood, which is time that Henry has mostly spent sulking in Greenhollow Hall, sans Tobias. Really highly recommend this duology. Emily Tesh is a treasure.

The Alchemy of Moonlight by David Ferraro - DNF at pg 11

[forestdeath1]

Dumbledore Anon again --

It always strikes me as interesting that the fandom cannot seem to let go of this very childish view of Dumbledore (he can do anything, he knows everything; like young children might think of their parents) when so much of Harry's character development in books five, six, and seven are about accepting Dumbledore's flaws and the fact that he was a fallible human being who made some terrible mistakes (and was faced with some terrible choice) but who did genuinely try his best. Instead they end up basically reinventing the Omnipotence Paradox -- if he is both omniscient and omnipotent, and things were still bad, then he can't have been good.

(My favorite thing is when fanfiction authors just kind of decide that there was totally a way to save Harry form the horcrux and Dumbledore just didn't act on this knowledge because he actually wanted Harry to die. Or there was totally a different place Harry oculd have grown up completely save from Voldemort and the Death Eaters no problem but Dumbledore really wanted him to be abused. Like, you cannot change the framework these characters are operating in and then get mad at them because they didn't act according to the information you just made up. That's like saying you'd solve the trolley problem by derailing the train -- all you've proven is that you're incapable of understanding what the point of the thought experiment was. But I digress.)

Also it's actually such a fascinating character trait that Dumbledore is so emotionally detached! He doesn't seem to have any realy friends, no true equals. He's surrounded by people he taught, helped, or saved; he is always on a pedestal. He let himself love once, the man that was just as smart as him, who challanged him, who really saw him, and it ended so badly he never let himself have that again -- probably partly because he is afraid of once more becoming the person he was around Grindelwald, and partly out of guilt / as a sort of punishment.

The scene at the end of OotP where Dumbledore tells Harry that he very kept his distance from Harry on purpose because he didn't want to care for him -- because he could not let something like sentiment affect his choices here, and it would just make everything harder -- but he couldn't help himself. I don't remember the exact phrasing but he straight up says that he believes this was his biggest mistake, to come to care for Harry. And this from the man who believes that love is endlessly powerful, that it is in fact the power Harry has and Voldemort knows not!

So I do think he came to care for Harry. We see this in their interaction during HbP, where I think Dumbledore seems genuinely very fond of Harry. They are joking with each other, Dumbledore shows repeatedly that he is impressed by Harry's abilities -- his intelligence, but also his empathy for young Tom Riddle. Rereading those parts knowing that Dumbledore realizes must have already known Harry will have to die is both fascinating and heartbreaking.

I think Dumbledore cared for Harry's emotional well-being as well as he could. He tried to shelter him from the awful truths of his life, encouraged him to trust in and rely on his friends, and when he fucked up (like in book five, but completely retreating when Harry needed advice and support) he owns up to it having been a mistake and apologizes.

Omnipotence Paradox -- if he is both omniscient and omnipotent, and things were still bad, then he can't have been good.

Exactly this!

Agree, anon.

[lastlymatt]

You make very good points comparing book and tv Alex, thanks for replying to my ask! I clearly have not reread the books in a while so I should go do that :)

And you are very right about tv!Alex being naive. Yes, I felt he was more mature than book!Alex in the way he presents himself generally, and maybe this is partly due to his appearance on screen vs what I used to envision of book!Alex. But you are right that a lot of his actions and decisions are very naive.

Going to scorpia knowing it's a literal terrorist organization and not only not wanting to kill anyone but not even trying to pretend he's into it so that he could go in undercover? He's lucky Yassen had his back or he'd be so dead.

There were many moments in the show where I did go, 'Alex, come on,' when he was doing something stupid. But maybe I have rose tinted glasses on or expect little, because I love the show enough that I'm like, 'okay they have low budget, I get that they can't film everything, I can look past this plot point/plot armor/lazy writing because I know they don't have the time/budget for everything.' But hey, again, maybe I should have higher expectations anyway haha.

Like having Tom and Kyra somehow so easily show up on Malagosto and do surveillance without getting caught. The department leaving the flash drive in the computer for no reason. Alex getting into Mrs. Jones' apartment so easily, and conveniently having no earpiece so that Yassen couldn't hear what happened?

I spotted all of that and the rest, but let it go. I think I am just so glad we have this show that I'll take what we get 😅

It makes complete sense to assume that TV!Alex is more mature than book!Alex! TV!Alex isn't as sassy as his book counterpart and mostly comes across as calmer and more mature. This might also have something to do with the fact that we don't get to hear Alex's thoughts like we do in the books.

Yes, he is incredibly lucky Yassen had his back; otherwise, I'm not sure what TV!Nile would've done to him (Nile is another character who is very different from his book counterpart, but someone else I believe already talked about that)

Believe me, I utterly adore this show! It made so many improvements on the original material, which is also why I think it's important to point out the parts where it stumbled. Those are also often the bits that generate interesting discussions. But also, those faults can be explained very often with a little suspension of disbelief.

And yeah, I can absolutely see those things as faults, but it's also not very fun when Scorpia has all the cards and knows how to block their plans perfectly. Scorpia needs weaknesses that can be exploited! An all-powerful organisation that makes no mistakes is honestly boring and no fun.

Some of these things make sense if you consider that Scorpia, specifically Julia, feels complacent and overconfident. They managed to make the world believe that they were dead and gone while they continued to work in the shadows. Why would they worry so much about guarding one of their hard-to-reach training facilities against two untrained teenagers?

Also, it's nice to show off that Alex isn't the only one with skills since the TV series so heavily emphasises the importance of friends, family, and teamwork.

I fully agree with you about the flash drive issue. They tried to excuse it later but come on, you should be more paranoid than that!

Alex getting into Mrs Jones' apartment so easily is almost exactly like it went in the book (as far as I remember), so that is on Ahorz. And Alex can have a little competence as a treat before his breakdown 🙃

I honestly hadn't considered the idea of Yassen giving him an earpiece! I think it would've been caught by the metal detector, maybe? But this can also be chalked up to Yassen trusting his boy.

So yeah, it may have its issues, but I also genuinely believe it is one of the better adaptations I've seen in a very long time despite the many changes, and I couldn't be happier with what we got!

[adanseydivorce]

adam from trc? (for the characters ask game!)

Why I like them: Difficult to sum up since he’s one of my favorite characters of all time, I mentioned he’s probably my second favorite specifically male character in media and I stand by that <3. He has a lot of traits that appeal to me between the control issues and emotional repression and being curious and wanting to know what is up at all times and being a resourceful smart bb who can probably (the traits that most make me vibe with male chars tbh), his ambition and drive and desire for autonomy is really admirable to me but I enjoy that his arc in original trc is about learning he’s worthy of loving and being loved and about the value of that, that vulnerability isn’t automatically going to lead to being ruined in a sense. And his whole journey/arc in original trc is really beautifully done, one of my favorite character arcs ever to this day. On the flip side he’s a freak and a menace and I adore that as well, his internal monologue and pov is truly unhinged in the most fascinating and fun way. I definitely wouldn’t be nearly as attached to him without that. And I love stories about identity and masking and characters who feel alien and other having malleable relationships to identity to conform… so that might have started a bit with my love for Adam I’m realizing.

Why I don’t: I’m satisfied enough with how the arc played out in canon to not hold this against him when it comes to my feelings about his char especially since the breakdown of Blue and Adam’s relationship is pretty compelling to me in general, but anytime I see fandom takes that act like he Never treated Blue badly during their relationship at all and blame her for everything … Bombastic side eye doesn’t begin to cover it. But that’s only related to fandom bs, in terms of moments I actually dislike him which are not reckoned with by the narrative at all obviously it’s the racism re: Henry in TRK, ugh.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): tbh so much of my favorite Adam content comes in his internal monologues and PoV rather than what he’s Doing in a scene… but DC Party scene is incredible <33. If you made me pick another scene would go with him blackmailing Greenmantle nefarious king <3. Oh but also being unbothered by Kavinsky’s death iconic… wait I actually changed my mind pretend I never said those things it’s definitely the sacrifice scene in TRB yes that is my final answer.

Favorite season/movie: I love his entire arc and journey in trc so much so it really could be any book each for different reasons but I’ll say TDT, I love a Downward Spiral that’s interesting and messy <33. But also his BLLB arc rules… but it is the more obvious answer since it’s more positive/uplifting so yeah will stick to TDT answer and unpopular opinion but he’s the best part of that book for me.

Favorite line: lonesome internal monologue is iconic for a reason it’s incredible… also his whole internal monologue about being jealous of all combinations of his (hot) friend hanging out without him is soo real and iconic. Oh also ik I slander TRK but his monologue about loving magic and not knowing he was capable of love before and then Cabeswater showing him the images of his friends in moments linked to heightened emotions surrounding them… went off. If we’re going with just dialogue World’s Ending Folks! tirade is iconic + the internal monologues surrounding it… so much fun to dissect together.

Favorite outfit: the white shirt and cargo pants from BLLB ig my man has no drip… actually changed my mind it’s the secondhand tweed suit Gansey’s dad gave him he wears at Harvard for symbolism reasons.

OTP: Adam/Gansey. I love him with Ronan too and find stuff to be compelled by re: him and Blue but Adansey just hits on a different level emotionally and narratively they are everything…

Brotp: Persephone I love their psychic mentorship in BLLB.

Head Canon: would not have said this was my take before this reread but I do actually think of Adam as having some more internalized homophobia than most of the fandom, not as intense and exacerbated by religious shame as Ronan’s but there in a subtler way. I think Adam at the beginning of the series has some level of awareness about his attraction to men without fully registering it/accepting it, when he thinks about a model for success in TRB&TDT it’s this very heterosexual WASP ideal him watching Declan and Ashley as a model is very this to me for instance and I reblogged some older meta posts about this I agree with (stopping myself here because I kind of want to make a separate post about my thoughts here at some point).

Unpopular opinion: He’s quite an emotional mess for most of the series so fanon portrayals of him as totally cool and collected and put together rub me the wrong way especially after rereading where it Really stood out to me how much fanon and canon tend to diverge... He’s a logical, pragmatic person and a brilliant problem solver but that boy is emotional as fuck (Not soft at all which is totally different from emotional imo) and his efforts to deal with that logically make it worse (I can relate but that’s beside the point), he’s also really not smooth it’s just that Ronan and Gansey’s disasternous is more telegraphed and it makes Adam’s easier to downplay, also a trademark of Adam narration is that He prefers to see himself as a totally logical in control of emotions person and will downplay his emotional investment/emotions as a factor even when his feelings come out in other thoughts and especially especially when you look at his actions….

A wish: makes me deeply sad that even though he clearly values knowledge, loves when other people love knowledge for it’s own sake and get’s a taste of that passion himself when it comes to how much he loves being a powerful psychic/doing magic, he never gets to have that in his academic pursuits because they’re all tailored to get him out of Henrietta / help him win at the capitalist American dream… I so want for him to find a major he’s actually passionate about.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: well from the Greywaren spoilers I heard (I read CDTH and MI when they came out and now that I’m done rereading the original series am rereading them and will then read Greywaren so will.. try to reserve judgement but what I’ve heard to me is 😬) but aside from that I did always hate the idea of him losing his psychic powers and I’m glad that specifically didn’t happen.

5 words to best describe them: ambitious, observant, obsessive, practical, neurotic

My nickname for them: don’t have one, but I did call him a Freak (affectionate) a lot while rereading so I guess you could count that

thank you so much! (send me a character for ask game)

[carcrash429]

HI you read the circle of magic books??? I am so excited I love that series (although haven't read them for quite a while)

YESSSSSSS I love that series

HONESTLY everything by Tamora Pierce lmao all of it was so so so formative for me

she does SUCH a good job at portraying people who just go absolutely "FUCK society's expectations I am going to be my best authentic self" and it's SO inspiring and gratifying

Like Okay, Sandry - -constantly treated like she should be a delicate flower noble and instead uses her nobility to stand up for people she cares about LITERALLY starting like the first time we see her?? where she's like hey Daja I know everyone else is a racist asshole here, how about we be friends -called a stitch witch derogatorily and then OWNS it like "Yeah I do magic with stitching WHAT ABOUT IT" and then uses those same skills to do absolutely UNPRECEDENTED magic things -Genuinely wants to just help, CALLS IT "JUST HELPING" WHEN SHE'S BASICALLY RUNNING A KINGDOM FOR HER UNCLE Briar - -legit the little scene where he decides his name?? Briar to be outwardly tough and then MOSS BECAUSE SECRETLY HE'S A SOFTIE even though he pretends otherwise for at least like the whole first couple of books lmao -uses his "street urchin" skills for extreme good, liberating a dying plant cause he could feel it was sick, maintains contact with the girl that ends up sick and works himself to the bone trying to keep her from dying 😭 -goes through a FUCKING WAR comes out the otherside with serious PTSD and STILL shows SO MUCH compassion and empathy for Zhergorz and Tris when other people are like wtf Daja - -loses her whole family, horrifically, loses her whole PEOPLE, devastatingly, somehow does NOT give up goes on does her thing becomes an absolute LEGEND to those same people who outcast her -probably ALSO has PTSD from that whole thing where she made a thing that someone she cared about used to hurt people 🙃🙃🙃 yet never stops CARING: see again, Zhegorz (a legend in his own right, but this is already a long ass rant and I'm sticking to the main 4) -falls in love stays in love GIVES UP THAT RELATIONSHIP to stay true to herself and her morals and her family TRIS - (Probably my favorite although it's close between her and Briar and ESPECIALLY the way they complement and reflect pieces of each other is so so so cool) - has a fucking TEMPER and I love her for it because she's fucking RIGHT like 90% of the time go off girl - got bounced around her family 💔 got betrayed by her family 💔 makes her OWN family dammit and cares about them when by all right she could've just hardened her heart (see reflecting briar in being outwardly tough and inwardly a softie) - is so SO absolutely powerful and REFUSES to contradict her morals and use her power for what "people" think she "should" use it for and plans to just get a regular medallion and do regular magic - ALSO has PTSD from the fucking pirates and their slaves that she smashed to absolute smithereens please someone give these kids A BREAK

oh my god I could go on for ages lmao thank you for this ask honestly if you have the time the books are Well worth a reread, especially the Circle Opens and Will of the Empress imo

wait shit I almost forgot to mention:

not only does she show all of these people being amazing and incredible

BUT ALSO

THEY ALL MAKE MISTAKES

THEY FUCK UP

and then they realize, or someone calls them out, and they apologize and/or *change* and get better

Like DAMN that just feel refreshing you know??

[kiss2012]

ok rwrb thoughts under the cut <3

tbh i had to watch most of this movie with one hand over my eye and i was not. even going to reread the book because i don’t actually care about it much anymore but about twenty or so minutes into the movie? i literally stopped it and skimmed half the book finished the movie and then finished the book. so it’s possible that this influenced my whole experience of the movie but i remembered the book super well anyway and either way i think the thing i would have been most mad about is HOW COULD THEY LEAVE OUT JUNE and who tf is miguel omg. imagine deciding to combine two women into one character just because they “play the same role in alex’s life” and then not even doing it that well. nora isn’t even IN this movie she doesn’t even have a CHARACTER they just shoehorn her and pez together and give them five min of screentime. bea doesnt even have much of a character either i also thought maybe she and nora were going to be friends but no that disappeared after the first 15min. and because june doesn’t exist and because rafael luna doesn’t exist and because nora barely exists (all of whom are the main poc characters in the book btw) alex’s character is not half as nuanced as it could be. his arc about realising he’s bi is totally missing which is great…also his actor’s enunciation was very puzzling at times but i forgive him because of all the times i got distracted staring at his eyelashes and he was good at times tho henry’s actor is probably the best actor in the movie (not a tall bar btw but he’s way better than uma thurman GIRL WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT ACCENT) and it’s not that they don’t have chemistry or fun sweet romcom moments it’s just that i’m missing so much. romance. im tired of modern romance novels and movies having their leads get together super fast without spending much time on characterization and without even having much capital R-romance in the first place. where is the e-mo-tion in the immortal words of miss carly rae jepsen…like why did they leave out so much of the emails i cannot believe i watched so many random voice-overs and they couldn’t include the emails. also the small random change that bothered me the most is that they changed their first meeting being rio at the olympics to the climate melbourne conference (?????) and made their whole relationship pre-movie a lot less interesting. umm they did good with the interview and their interactions pre and post the cake but then they abandoned all of that half an hour in. do think the physical comedy is always way more fun to watch in a visual medium like that cake scene was hilarious they were just worse at the emotional beats. guys they used bad reputation 😭😭😭😭 i had to pause at that point…i had to pause and recover for ages. the get low scene contained a lot of Choices. the Choices were all very interesting and im not sure what more can be said about them. the beginning was fairly solid then everything sort of went downhill felt like i was watching a train wreck. mildly entertaining and occasionally moving train wreck but regardless a train wreck. btw let no one claim the political commentary in the novel is good but at least it slightly exists. the politics in the movie are completely spineless and extremely confused. yes it’s an amazon prime royalty romcom so what can u expect but they just hovered on the threshold of criticism. when they didn’t actually show a crowd of people supporting them or w/e but just showed the reflection of them in the window i almost started laughing. alex’s speech at the end lacked any subtlety at all and made no sense (why tf would he make a speech coming out + explaining his relationship with henry Before he talked to henry or the royal family???) the script is like constantly having characters say really obvious things. shoutout to stephen fry’s line delivery at least. there was a perfume genius cover of can’t help falling in love (it was supposed to be your song that played there anyway???). what more can be said.

[zinniax]

I reread all the courts books and came to understand it better/ notice a few things(beware this may be long)

Starting off with Tamlin- he’s just a character that needs therapy. First he has to deal with one of his best friends dying, then comes along this mortal girl who he knows is the key to undoing the curse but doesn’t want it to hurt her, then they end up falling in love something he hasn’t had in years and is still afraid knowing the fate she must face. He was willing to go along with that but quickly realized that he loved her to much for that and sent her away. The best thing he could’ve done for her in that moment. Then of course she saves the day/ dies/ reborn anew. But what guilt must’ve ate at him knowing he sent her to her death and then when she woke up he protected her like she needed to be kept behind glass. Which isn’t the best and comes off controlling and manipulative but knowing the whole story I can see why he doesn’t wanna lose her. Then we have the infamous meeting. He’s been depressed, losing Feyre to his sworn enemy that shit must fuck with your head just like it fucked with rhys. Honestly I think it was good he snapped back bc no one else dared to comment on how shitty it was tbh bc they are afraid of rhys but he isn’t. So I thought what he said needed to be said yes it didn’t come off the best way but that’s bc his feelings we’re involved. King of Hybern- we know the king likes a show, so I’m sure he upped Feyre leaving him to get tamlin to open his gates, emotional manipulation, Tamlin was manipulated you can’t change my mind.. then he thinks he’s getting her back, his Feyre back, then she distroys the last bit of himself. His best friend, his soilders, like I think she got back at him with rhys, this was petty child’s play that ended up biting her in her ass later on.. basically he’s still a good guy at heart, he just had a rough time, and has a grey side( all these characters do) and btw I’m not gonna even mention the whole Tamlin/Rhys family murder bc they both are at fault, they might’ve not done the actual killing and they both couldn’t stop it, and they both hurt eachother in the end, if anyone is to blame their fathers are, they couldn’t get past whatever petty, small minded shit they used to rule- it seemed to be a personal vendetta, one that the sons had no choice but to take over, they were once friends and their fathers took that from them and made them enemies.

There’s to many books regarding him so I can’t get through everything, but these are just my major points..

Rhys, I loved him I thought this is the fictional man imma marry but rereading that isn’t the case. Yes he has some good parts to him and he’s a family man above all but he very manipulative and egotistical. When we first meet him, he’s saved Feyre yes we love that but then he goes right back like go home it’s not safe, but this is his first time meeting him we don’t know his story. Then second meeting he tells lucien he’s been in war before lucien was even born, aka his ego then he went into Feyre mind and told her deep dark fantasy’s ( and it isn’t the first times he’s done something shitty to her ) yes we get his side to it that he really didn’t know who she was but had an inkling later of what just happened but just no. Then the whole Feyre under the mountain like who tf fuck thinks that was ok all for again getting back at Tamlin (his ego) making her drink fuck me up forget everything juice, covered in his branding, basically having her dry hump him, and embarrassed her in front of basically almost every court like wtff. Then ferye constantly says how he gives her a choice but it’s another manipulation “you don’t have todo this but it would save a lot of people if you did, oh you don’t have todo this but imma have to do other nastier means to get the same result” oh isn’t that manipulation and he did it with Nesta he gave her a “choice” yes but the choice was “if you don’t do this then I’ll get your sister who you sworn to protect todo it if you don’t, your choice” not much of a choice if it feels like the only thing you can do to protect your sisters. He treats az and cassian like shit imma just say it, maybe that’s how you know their brothers but he doesn’t give them the same respect he does amern or mor. And the whole 2nd, 3rd is bullshit. And I hate how he’s saying “what amern said goes, what Feyre said goes” like ?! So no one can question him, the people he put in charge of his army, his spy can’t ever have a different opinion ever how is that the fair and just ruler everyone says he is? And feysand I like them when they are alone, but it’s just when they interact with other characters and you get to see how they really are it’s just nope they are shitty to their family, and really on a weird power couple trip.

Nesta. This girl has been through so much manipulation, abused, emotional warfare and everyone’s like she a a bitch but az,cas, rhys goes through the same shit it’s awww our little bat boys and tamlin goes through it he’s the devil like wtfff Feyre does it and it’s she’s so strong she kept her family alive and if nesta does it oh she’s selfish, doesn’t deserve to live or have a mate, yah this bullshit. Her being the oldest doesn’t mean shit tbh she was abused by her grandma, perfected to be this perfect housewife, emotionally abused and probably physically and wonder why she didn’t pick up a bow and arrow to save her family like idk maybe the girl just wanted a  parental figure to step up and save them. She didn’t get it as a little girl she probably thought “hey this is the time right he’s gonna step up and be a parent?” Nope and like I said before she was raised to be a wife of someone rich not be out in the wild. And no one gives elain shit when all she did was NOTHING. Didn’t stop any fights between her sisters, didn’t hunt either. And before anyone says “NeStA iS a BiTcH” ummm mother dead, dad useless, grandma who beat you, sister who is oblivious to anything other then herself, other sister who has a bf, hunts, has a whole other life. Yeah I would be bitter too cuz I wouldn’t know what my place or purpose is. That’s the ptsd and depression she already had BEFORE coming into this “so called wealth” your sister not here and you haven’t heard from her, being taken out of your home into a whole different land, involved and physically changed to a whole other species, caught in a war you don’t belong in and now have to fight plus given this power you don’t understand, now your immortal, your dad is dead, don’t even get me started on all the emotions she’s having. Yeah so she’s a bitch oh well I would be too. And it’s funny to think about nesta spending all of rhys money like as she should but people seriously have an issue and hardcore take it to heart like first off he’s had so much money since the beginning of time he anit gonna run out, second he buys Amren expensive ass jewelry all the time, like yeah she had no one to talk to bc everyone would yell at her so what is there to do beside get drunk and spend money and it wasn’t like she was living some lavish life on his dime, she had a crappy apartment, dirty clothes, and read old books and went to a bar like yeah she’s sure racking up so much money rhys is gonna be in debt and besides if he really wanted to he could pull rank and not pay for ANYTHING in that town and extend it to his people including sister in laws but he didn’t so really is it that bad? Obviously before her little rehab and hike she didn’t deal with her depression in the best way and depression makes you feel secluded and people instead of trying to understand her they just judged her and already thought bad about her which furthermore put her into more depression and why not prove everyone right?? and then she went into a bloodrite (again being taken from her home or in this case a friends house) thrown into basically another war, to top it off she “won” and got the news 2 minutes later not only is her sister dying but her nephew and brother in law?? and saved their life but yeah nesta still is a bitch yeah ok

[apocalypticavolition]

Wheel of Time Season 2 Episodes 1 - 3 Thoughts

In my reread - which I won't be doing today, or probably any day that a show episode comes out in the immediate future - this is the part where I'd have some sort of snark warning about spoilers to shoo away the viewers who might not have blocked the relevant tags for some reason. This is about the show, but I will be discussing a few things that will be spoilers to show-watchers only - and if you haven't caught up at all then obviously I'll be spoiling the show.

After seeing Apple TV's Foundation blossom into this beautiful and entertaining show that had almost nothing to do with its source material, I figured I could come to Wheel of Time's second season with an open mind. And hey, episode 1 of the show made me think that we were over the rough part. Yeah, I had to meet its plot changes in the middle, but if I was willing to do that, the show seemed to promise that I would be rewarded. After the three episodes released so far, I'm not quite sure. I want to love the show, but I'm not a show lover.

And yeah, it starts with the opening. Jordan's world is one in which evil doesn't prosper and makes no illusions about being an alternate system of morality that good guys just besmirch because they're meanie pants. Having a little girl pet a rape-and-murder machine that's purring at the prospect of human contact isn't a great start for me, and frankly there's just something about Ishamael in this scene that feels like Nandor from What We Do in the Shadows, which isn't a worthwhile comparison.

Nor does the new show intro excite me. The previous season's over-focus on the Aes Sedai felt to me like a mistake overall but the concept of the opening sequence was still strong. I wanted to see it change and evolve over the course of the eight seasons, but now we're just given a few seconds of a snake devouring itself. It's a major step backwards.

But these are quibbles. I know they're quibbles. If they were the biggest kinds of complaints I had against the show I'd move on. Things get a lot stronger from there, showing us some great TV! Let's break it down:

Moiraine and Lan: Moiraine is not taking being shielded well. This is a legit reaction. Her misery is clear and the bath scene is a great contrast. Lan's attitude isn't much better. It's well-acted, well-set, and seeing changes like Verin being folded into Vandene is good! Like I said, I get that it's TV, I get that there have to be changes, and this little change works. Heck, Bayle Domon showing up works. He's fun, Moiraine fucking him over is fun, it's good TV. It's a little frustrating that we still don't know what the poem is (I mean, I know as a reader but still), but that's all in good fun.

But I do have problems with the division forming between Lan and Moiraine. Not that it's happening at all, under the circumstances it makes perfect sense. However, the characters and narratives taking the stance of, "Moiraine is suffering trauma so she's allowed to be as cold to her best friend of twenty years as possible and he just has to take it" does not work for me at all.

Then there's the Fade sequence. In the next episode, Lan will apologize for not sensing the Shadowspawn coming, which raises the question - why didn't Moiraine sense them coming? She's shielded, not severed. Why did the first Fade go down so easily? Why is Lan so terrible at fighting Fades when he spent his whole life training to do so? At least Verin saves the day. Really, Verin is awesome in general and I have no complaints, she's everything she should be for this adaptation.

And then comes the double dose of cruelty. First we get a summary of how Lan and Moiraine met, based on the New Spring novel, but we leave out the coolest part, which frankly only does Moiraine dirty. Though, they do Lan dirty too by making the sexual assault he suffered something to laugh about as a funny cultural affectation instead of the rape that it clearly was.

And then things go downhill. Book Moiraine might have been cruel in setting up the transfer of her bond to Lan, but she didn't make it happen right away and she didn't explicitly tell Lan she never thought of him as an equal. Her behavior is abhorrent and unheroic and while Moiraine's always been on the utilitarian side of things, this is just more than I'm willing to deal with. It also only makes Alanna feel skeevier as a character, which is impressive considering all the rest of the stuff she pulls. And that's it. They're gone - and frankly, for show Moiraine all I can say is "good riddance".

Wondergirls: Egwene is overall good, Nynaeve starts well enough. I don't really like Nynaeve's getting to skip the novice phase taken away from her - I feel that Rafe's love of Egwene consistently tears down the characters around her and now that she's chiding Nynaeve that she should be happy I feel very vindicated in this belief - but I can live with it. Nynaeve choosing to suffer rather than address her block is good. The Aes Sedai politicking about how to train Nynaeve and who should be her mentor is great! Egwene's jealousy is in-character.

Nynaeve training with Alanna's Warders though, while impressive, feels like mostly an excuse to give those two a few extra lines. And Alanna feels genuinely skeevy in this incarnation; I had thought her advice to Egwene was just inappropriate metaphor until the characters clarified, and at that point I'm just wondering why Alanna is supposed to be a positive representation of polyamory if she's clearly trying to groom Egwene on the side. Like, at least Liandrin being a bad mentor and person overall is clear from her interactions with Nynaeve. Of course, much less about Liandrin is clear in general. She steals medicine as if an Aes Sedai wouldn't be able to obtain such things without question)

And then we meet Elayne. Book Elayne is a sweetheart, only stuck-up in the most basic of ways (taught to walk around with her nose in the air). Show Elayne makes several faux pas and doesn't seem to present much reason for Egwene to want to be her friend. "I haven't seen a soul", she says, surrounded by servants. She says she spent six summers in Tar Valon but her attitude screams six summers in Seandar. Sheriam at least seems like she's gonna beat some sense into her, but I shouldn't be rooting for that outcome, should I?

Meanwhile, Nynaeve follows Liandrin out of the tower and discovers her dark secret, a son dying of old age. At first my associate and I thought it was all going to be some kind of ploy to impress Nynaeve and influence her ajah choice, but it's all legit. I thought that Liandrin having a son was fine, but my friend is less convinced and there's something to be said for that. Liandrin's attitude doesn't scream, "son she's outliving", and it adds to the sense of incoherence to her character.

Elayne just barely manages to recover as a character during the drinking sequence when she chews Egwene out, which also sets her up nicely for her bullshit. Not sure what I think about the convenient drama of Nynaeve overhearing Egwene bitching about her, but at least it kind of goes places. It helps explain why Nynaeve's so vehement about the testing, anyway.

Her testing is... where things start really going downhill. The beginning is fine (though the whole "attacked by bandits" thing doesn't work for me at all for the Two Rivers - not in the last season, not in this one), and the middle is a good adaptation, but then we hit the end. The fake out's good, but then... Ugh. In the books, Nynaeve wills the portal back, but that's not what happens here. Further, Liandrin's motivations remain incoherent: if she's a Darkfriend working to bring about these peoples' downfall, Nynaeve's death (a huge loss for the Light) shouldn't be something she's this upset about. Like yeah, corrupting her would be more fun, but a win's a win. But the Shadow doesn't want wins in this episode. It wants to lose as hard as it can.

Sheriam is also a bit odd here but since she may not know Liandrin is Black I can buy her behavior as being generally shitty while covering for herself. I mean, "your grief is your own" is so unnecessarily cruel that it's clear that she's Black. That said, not sure why she's discussing arches with the girls when my impression is that the test was supposed to be something of a secret until the novice was ready to advance. Nor do I think Elayne is done any favors with her absolutely hollow condolences - Sheriam was more believable as a sympathetic ear.

Egwene confronts Liandrin, which leads us to yet another situation where somebody on the Shadow could easily eliminate one of the five ta'veren but absolutely refuses to do so because... it wouldn't be sporting? She then tries to save Nynaeve while Elayne talks her out of it, but makes absolutely no difference whatsoever (ah well, at least she isn't personally responsible for bringing Nynaeve back). Then Nynaeve... does come back. For no apparent reason. Apparently every other woman who entered this segment just killed themselves after missing the first door out. At least book Nynaeve forces the arch to reappear - show Nynaeve only forces the scenario to stop being scary and the arch shows up anyway.

Perrin: I thought that Marcus was the weakest actor last season, and while he's grown quite a good deal, it also feels like he's been given the least to work with. He's with mostly new characters bar Loial, who doesn't get the love and attention he deserves. Everyone in his sequence exists to push him along, and he doesn't have much going on just yet as he's reacting to what goes down. I do like how they're representing his power, and again combining Elyas and Hurin is the right sort of choice for TV, but I feel like Perrin was meant to be bouncing off of at least Mat at this point. His writing is very on the nose when he and the Shienarians are burying the Darkfriends, it feels very much like we're just being told what he feels instead of being shown it.

But hey, while the woman in the house horror sequence was not remotely something Perrin went through, and it was pretty changed, I honestly didn't expect it to show up at all, so I'm calling that a win for him. It's well-acted too, he doesn't have too much dialogue telling us how he feels so it works. That said, his place in the world gets a lot less certain as we go on - I assumed he was in the east like the books, but he seems to have crossed thousands of miles to go west considering what happens. Why are the Seanchan here? Why is Perrin where they are? This isn't a coincidence, it's blatantly forced.

Also sorry not sorry but the damane outfit isn't dehumanizing like it should be, it's just dumb. The damane in Perrin's arc is, as far as I'm concerned, named Little Miss Binky. Speaking of LMB, it bothers me a bit that she can sense all these channeler women when in the books the testing required the use of the a'dam. This is a random-ass village, there shouldn't be two sparkers. And Uno should not be fucking dead and no amount of Suroth's nail batons is going to make it okay for me (okay actually there is an amount but the season isn't going to run that long so same thing).

We end Perrin's arc in these three episodes with him waking up in a carriage with Ishamael, being stabbed to death as part of the Shadow's plans to bring about-- No wait, that would be competent. Instead, Ishamael is super interested in Perrin's character development (why bro?) and lets Perrin escape with Elyas while the two ditch Loial (unforgivable).

Mat and Min: Being imprisoned at this point works based on where the story ended up, but Liandrin is just kind of a cipher throughout his story. She's clearly relishing the opportunity to be evil editing him out of the letters she reads, but this is about as evil as she gets beyond the wrongful imprisonment. Why does she give him cakes in the next episode? Why is he being kept alive for months on end? There's no clear motivation for her character - if she's being a villain, she should have offed him long ago. If she's following Tower procedure in some fashion, it should be clearer.

Mat manages to make contact with Min - no one noticed his efforts, which is fine, but it stretches credulity that none of Min's captors notice that her wall is suddenly damaged after this. They're great friends and I love this for what it is, or rather what it seems to be. It really helps their relationship - though not her characterization - that he's not interested in having her read his future. Shame, considering what she sees.

After some more time, Nynaeve's apparent death prompts Liandrin to set Mat free. He almost goes to help Egwene, but then decides to ditch her because fuck Mat's character, amirite? One actor ditched us so all Mats have to be shitty now even when it's a central facet of who he should be. Then he doubles back to Min - why is he doing things in this order, this is the least logical order - but it turns out that this whole thing is staged by Liandrin and that Min is working with her. What the actual fuck?

Rand: I'm not loving how little attention he gets in the first episode, but whatever. The main problem is that his motivations are obscured to us for such a long period, and we aren't really given a clue as to how he figured out this was an option in the first place. At first I simply thought it was weird that he'd go to Cairhien when he knows he's a time bomb and that being a nurse-type made sense considering his overall sense of altruism.

Really, most of the hospital stuff works in isolation. The soldier suffering from PTSD is a nice touch and it helps build up the Rand as Aiel foreshadowing that the show hasn't had much time to get to yet. I don't like that Rand is cheating on Lan with another teacher but TV shows I guess.

Then we jump into a darker Rand. He stalks the asshole orderly and assaults him, in part with the power (though this seems to be unwilling). I thought this might be madness coming on early, but the truth isn't much better. Of course, before we find it out we get to see Rand hook up with Lanfear. Book Rand was clearly compelled and overwhelmed by a hottie being interested in him, but this atmosphere is gone here as well. Rand took one look at the slippery slope and said, "Watch how fast I can get to the bottom!"

And meanwhile, Lanfear is bizarrely self-aware! "I pretend you're Lews Therin," she all but says. "Go ahead and think of other women while you're having sex with me, your crazy and obsessive stalker!" The Forsaken are cartoonishly evil people because only someone cartoonishly evil would sign up to work under Satan. They shouldn't try to argue that they're actually good guys and they shouldn't have healthy standards in their romantic relationships!

So Rand's secret plan was to get close to Logain, which just... Why is he here? He's a war criminal who had an army of loyal fanatics! Even with the severing, he's way too much of a risk to toss amid the general populace for exactly the reason we see: a young man who can channel goes to him to learn how to carry on his traditions! Logain being Rand's teacher might be a good way of combining book characters, and he's certainly an awesome actor, but there's not enough of this stuff.

Rand learns more about the hunt being called, which is just going to raise further questions. I will note "Queen of Illian" and thus have to ask: have they relocated Berelain in this show? Have they just gender-flipped the king? These books don't need gender flips like they seem to like doing with her and Farstrider.

Then Rand and Lanfear end up at a fancy party. There's no clear explanation for how they got in, nor why the royals would be confused about Rand and Lanfear's identities. She lives at the Foregate, people! He's renting a room! The foreign prince thing doesn't work in this context! Then Rand gets an awkwardly designed infodump about the cruelty of the royalty and the reveal that the Hunt is a fake. Presumably the whole thing is supposed to be a fake that isn't happening outside of Cairhien, but that's not actually clear - and after a long sequence of Rand's arc being well-written if objectionable for his hunting down a man and beating him half (?) to death to steal is job, it's just a low note.

But hey, we get to see Logain be psycho and Lanfear be psycho, so that's pretty fun. Not really sure where Logain's gotten the impression he's the descendant of a man that is most famous for having killed his entire family, but that's crazy for you I guess. Rand also burns down the inn, an incident which everyone treats as no big deal despite the general flammability of everything in the vicinity.

Closing Thoughts: The TL;DR of all of this is, "Just as I got comfy with it, it got weird." Rand is darker than he should be at this point, Mat continues to lack the loyalty that defines him, Moiraine is awful to Lan in ways that the narrative gives no hint it disagrees with and past and future sexual assault is on the table for him, Nynaeve loses the behavior that justifies her being special and just survives by fiat, Elayne is way too awkward and rude, and the Darkfriends pass up every opportunity to eliminate or properly capture Mat, Perrin, Egwene, and Nynaeve, all of whom should be high priority targets. This season started strongly and I hope it can recover from these hiccups, but I'm worried that little details will continue to fail to add up like this.

[edwinspaynes]

About your post on how TID/TLH Tessa and modern-day Tessa are different characters. I had to come and give you my two cents, because Tessa is my girl, my favourite FMC in TSC, and I love her, and if I have the opportunity to talk about her, I do it. I hope you don't mind me rambling about my favourite FMC of all time. Tessa has a special place in my heart.

From my reading and rereading of the series, and short stories, I don’t see a lot of change in her character, and I read her character development as a natural continuation. For me 2015 Tessa is the same as 1903 Tessa, BUT with more confidence and maturity.

We start with TID Tessa. She’s 16, a baby, orphaned, and has no family except her ass of a brother/cousin/whatever Nate was. We see a girl who is a product of her time (weirded by Charlotte fighting), but also, someone ready and willing to learn more/adapt. I mean, two chapters in, and she’s ready to go on a mission with Magnus and Will. Throughout the series, we see that she is very smart and willing to help, but what differentiates her from 2010 YA FMC is that he does not reject what is traditionally seen as feminine. Tessa likes clothes and pretty dresses (that scene in CA when she doesn’t want to dirty her dress), she buys pretty hats that match her dresses, etc. She is a very curious girl, who likes to know everything, likes to gossip (her chitchats with Sophie), and likes match-making people (her trying to match Sophie with different men).

She is very courageous, but also very protective of the people she loves. We see that with Nate when he arrives at the institute, and he is giving texte books ass whole, and two thousand red flags. She does that because he is her brother and because she is a product of her time, always giving chances to men, and she'll do anything to make him safe. However, she also does it to Will, even though she does not know him well in the beginning, and he already annoyed her at least 5 times since she arrived. Ex: when they meet Gabriel for the 1st time, and he insults Jem, and Will starts fighting with him):

“ You heard me. Telling someone you wouldn’t be sorry if they died! It’s inexcusable!” She took hold of Will by the sleeve. “Come along, Will. This—this person—obviously isn’t worth wasting your time on.”

Will looked hugely entertained. “So true.”

“You—you—” Gabriel, stammering slightly, looked at Tessa in an alarmed sort of way. “You haven’t the slightest idea of the things he’s done—”

“And I don’t care, either. You’re all Nephilim, aren’t you? Well, aren’t you? You’re supposed to be on the same side.” Tessa frowned at Gabriel. “I think you owe Will an apology.”

Now, she does not know Will well, yet she takes his defence because she has been living with them. He is the one who got her out of prison and saved her etc. I always thought Tessa was a good character reader, and once she gives her trust, she becomes protective of them. She is literally telling Gabriel, that Will is her people, and nobody touches her people. We see this side of her, the protective side show up throughout the series, with Will, Jem, and when Sophie starts going out with Gideon. When she tells her to be careful, because she attended the Lightwood ball, and it was a mess, and she does not want her friend to be hurt again.

Now, going on to TLH. She is still the same protective woman and becomes maternal too. Tessa likes to fight and go on missions, but I feel like she only does them when she is asked to. Contrary to the other FMC in TSC, like Isabelle, Clary and Emma who literally want to be a great warrior and become the next Jace. I feel like, Tessa does it because it’s her duty, but only when she has to.

We also discover that she likes to help run the institute with her husband, and goes on missions with him when needed, but she's definitely not the head. That is Will. We don't see her arguing or taking Clave decisions during those meetings. It's always Will. I know this is because the Clave doesn't accept her and doesn't want to give her a chance, but at the same time, I don't read her as someone who wants to do bureaucratic stuff either. On the other hand, we see her doing a lot of domestic things, like throwing balls and parties and decorating the institute. She is someone who likes to be in a cosy room, reading books, talking about them with her husband, and children, travelling, having some adventures, and gossiping with her friends. When she gives advice, it is always a wise one, but it also comes from her protective, and maternal side. Even though she matures in TLH, by becoming a mother, and taking responsibilities as an adult, she is still very sheltered. We know the Herondales keep to themselves because the Clave sucks, and have prejudices against her and her children. She is still very protected and still has her community. Nobody will do anything to her, because Charlotte, Will and all her friends will protect her, and they are enough for her. She has a husband, kids, and eventually grandkids, her friends and their children, she has a community to count on.

Now, after Will’s death, and all her friends are dying one after another, and later her children, she is confronted with what it means to be immortal, and not having her usual support and community. She goes to live with Magnus, and he introduces her to all his Downworlder friends. She becomes friend with Catarina, Malcolm and Ragnor, and start to learn how to be a warlock. And later starts befriending Raphael and so on. This era in her life, where the only person she knows from her old life is Magnus (I don’t count Zachariah, he can’t do much), is the era where she learns and discovers to be herself. She learns how to be a warlock, goes on adventures by herself, or with friends, and learns how to assert herself, but at the same time still keeps her protective/maternal side. We see that in The Last Stand of the New York Institute. Her speech to Jocelyn is very harsh, but she is still willing to help her and goes all the way to do that in secret.

However, we know that Warlocks are not really into staying together. Magnus says it himself. Warlocks can go for decades before contacting each other. And I think this is something that affects her a lot, and why she stays for a long time in the Spiral Labyrinth, and only comes back at the end of CoHF, once Jem is back. 

 In the epilogue, she is dreading Jem telling her he is going back to an institute: 

“But—after today? Where will you go? To Idris?”

He looked, for a moment, honestly bewildered—and despite how old she knew him to be, so young. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never had a lifetime to plan for before.”

“Then … to another Institute?” Don’t go, Tessa wanted to say. Stay. Please.”

And she is happy when he tells her he can’t go back because he doesn’t know how to be a shadowhunter without a parabatai. And what does Tessa do, she starts living with Jem, and she goes on adventures, and missions with him (saving Kit, and helping Alec and Rafael), and eventually goes back to her ideal life. Having a house, a husband, being a mother, reading books, protecting her kids, having dinners with her friends and their kids (Well mostly Magnus and Alec), learning about her magic, and sometimes going on missions when needed.

I always read Tessa as a domestic FMC, and I love her for that. She is incredibly strong and becomes wise with time and life experiences, but at the same time, always true to herself. A woman who loves fashion, books and gossiping. And that’s why for me, her character is still the same, and very continuous. Her character development makes sense to me. She is ready to discover new horizons, but always coming back to a tranquil life.

Sorry, this is very long, but I just love her.

I don't really have anything to add to this, but this is generally 100% correct and I adore it. Tessa is one of my all-time favourite characters too, particularly TID/TLH Tessa - the only characters ever I prefer are Matthew and Alastair and maybe Thomas. Definitely my favourite girl/FMC.

I think that a lot of her traits do feel cohesive and carry on from series to series, but I think that a lot of her fire and spirit are gone in the modern content, if that makes sense. There are probably a lot of reasons for this - Will brought those things out in her and he's dead, and also just the cycles of trauma and grief that she's been through have changed her a lot.

But for me, that sarcasm and that sass and that brightly-burning essence and that love for life and rashness and impulsiveness are traits that I loved in Tessa. They're traits that made her interesting and relatable and even flawed when they went too far. And also her independence. I feel like she's lost a lot of that "she was too much herself to belong to anyone else" after, honestly, getting back together with Jem (I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep this minimal on Jessa criticism, but her relationship with Jem/the way that it's written is so tied to the Changes in Tessa I Don't Like.)

I really wish we could see the Tessa/Ragnor/Raphael gossip circle, lol. I do feel like I see a bit of the old Tessa when she's with Magnus, who as you acknowledged is the only person who knew her in her former life. We also know that she's still a funny prankster since Ragnor thought that Alec was her in disguise, which I love. The thing is, we see none of that on page. We see her essentially become a boring, muted housewife, and I think this is actually what makes her relationship with Jem and her presence in post-TLH content so hard for me to stomach.

I also read her as domestic - but only to a point. Like, yeah, she loves clothes, but she's also not afraid in TID to ruin a wedding dress in battle. She decorates the Institute in TLH and adds balconies because that's where, pardon my assumptions and my French, she and Will fuck. Shadowhunter coats of arms hang up with weaponry by bookshelves and ballrooms, and I love that for her, but where is that fire and where are those contradictions now?

I'm sorry that these ramblings are out of order, but I really think we need to see more of her between TLH and TMI in order to understand her as cohesive. Like, as you mentioned, her time in the Spiral Labyrinth - what happened there? We only saw the Spiral Labyrinth once in a story about Jem, which obviously makes so much sense because Jem's a character that belongs in the Spiral Labyrinth 🥴 I want to see Tessa there and talking to other warlocks. What was her job there? What did she do? What the hell do warlocks do there, anyway?

I think we can divide Tessa's life into 3 stages: the Will stage as a Shadowhunter, the warlock stage with her friends, and the Jem stage as a housewife. Unfortunately, we see so little of the EXTREMELY COMPELLING second stage that the latter is jarring and a little painful to watch for me.

[volann]

Everyone in tgcf is a foil character (if you squint)

Here's pt 2

I will be writing this as I reread the book, so this is the first part where I'll write about Xuan Ji and Xiao-Ying. I may not remember some details about Xie Lian and Hua Cheng bc I haven't reread those parts yet but hopefully it won't affect anything important. And neither do I have the revised version nor do I know Chinese, so everything is based on the og version. (also English isn't my first language, I asked my friend to check everything but there may still be some mistakes)

I'll start with Xuan Ji, Pei Ming’s ex that burned down temples and killed 17 brides to attract his attention. So the thing that keeps her as a ghost is her obsession with the man that prevented her suicide attempt. Also she wears red. Yes, I will be comparing her to Hua Cheng here. And this might be a stretch, but the plot may be indicating that she's his foil because Xie Lian first thinks that Hua Cheng is the ghost groom. Anyway, it's more important how those two are different. Xuan Ji's final goal is Pei Ming's love and attention. She doesn't take into consideration his needs and feelings, her own feelings come first. This is their main difference. Xuan Ji broke her legs to trap Pei Ming into staying, died to make him grieve — Hua Cheng died several times to save Xie Lian and didn't care about himself. She cries about how much she sacrificed, like Pei Ming owes her because of it — Hua Cheng gives his ashes to Xie Lian and doesn't care what will happen to them. He only wants Xie Lian to be happy. Xuan Ji wants Pei Ming to come to her, while Hua Cheng has been looking for Xie Lian for hundreds of years. Xuan Ji blames Pei Ming for everything that's wrong with her and her life — Hua Cheng would never. Xuan Ji shows how dangerous an obsession can be. Her love leads first to self-destruction, obvious in her broken legs and her last suicide attempt, and then to burned temples and people's deaths (although she was a general, her actions likely affected others even then). Hua Cheng did burn down temples too, but only to avenge his love, who didn't know about it for hundreds of years. Hua Cheng builds new temples for him. And, in the end, Xuan Ji is as powerful as she is only with Qi Rong's help while Hua Cheng became supreme on his own– his feelings are much stronger.

It is possible to find some similarities with Xie Lian too: besides being a fierce general, she is incredibly beautiful (and Xie Lian is Flower-Crowned Martial God), and while she had a high position during her life, now she's just a ghost. Xuan Ji feels as if noone is on her side, the one closest to her — betrayed her (add two suicide attempts there, although the reasoning is quite different). This reminds me the most of Xie Lian from book four, but fortunately he did see good in people, and in the end the only one suffering because of his actions was Wu Ming. Are these similarities the reason why he doesn't want to judge her without knowing the whole story?* The fact that he sees himself from the past in Xuan Ji and understands the desire to have someone who will stay by your side no matter what? Well, he never judges anyone too quickly and I can't claim anything. So. When compared to Xuan Ji, everyone showes their good sides, wow, what a revelation, I know.

*It doesn't really fit in this theme but those words might be directed at the reader since there are many lies in the book. The first that comes to my mind is the fact that Xie Lian knew about Nan Feng and Fu Yao's true identities already in the first book, but nothing in the text indicates that. But we're not speaking about them (yet?). In case of the ghost groom we first know the legend, then Xuan Ji's retelling and, finally, Pei Su's words, which we perceive as the truth. Every time characters' motivations are changed completely. This happens with many stories, from Xie Lian's past to less important parts like this one.

Now let's speak about the character whom I didn't plan to speak about at first: Xiao Yin. It is possible to compare her to Hua Cheng, or, to be more specific, Hong Hong-er: everyone thinks she's ugly and bullies her. Of course, we only see this behavior from Xiao-Pengtou (I don't remember the "tou" part in his name but wiki says it so it must be true), and the only other person with at least some significance from her village is the teahouse owner who is more of a narrator. But both she and Lang Ying avoid the light and don't look in people's eyes, and in the end she says she hasn't had any good days in her life, which probably means people in general didn't treat her well. Another similarity is the fact that Xiao Yin says that maybe she was born unlucky in the last moments of her life, while Hong-er was literally born under the Star of Solitude. But, unlike him, Xiao Yin isn't angry at the world. Before meeting Xie Lian Hong Hong-er wanted to ruin the festival for everyone with his own death, and now Hua Cheng mostly cares only about the crown prince. But Xiao Yin drags Xiao-Pengtou inside the circle made by Ryoe to save him. I can't think of a better example but from some angles it can be similar to Xie Lian saving Mu Qing, but he had eight hundred years, and he doesn't really care about the past anymore, and the whole situation is different… anyway, Xiao Ying only wants to help people, especially Lan Ying, helps Xie Lian as soon as she sees he needs it, but in the end most of it is in vain (Xiao-Pengtou did die), even her death didn't change anything, and the only one who grieves for her is the bandaged boy. Remember Xie Lian and his attempts to save Xianle? There even was a bandaged boy too. Xie Lian might have lied to Xiao Ying because of it, but he does lie out of kindness quite often, so this may not be true. Back to Xiao Ying. No matter how hard she tries, people always misinterpret her intentions and look for a catch (you want to help this boy? no, surely you're helping the ghost bridegroom). This is a common theme in all of mxtx's novels, Xie Lian isn't an exception. Even Xie Lian compares himself and Xiao Ying and says that she's stronger. That's probably because in her last words, she wanted to overcome her misfortune. No matter what she wanted to help everyone, including those who mistreated her, and didn't even think of sending an awful plague onto them.

I don't think Xiao-Pengtou is important enough to write something about him, although it is quite interesting how he could affect everyone's actions by just being there — after his death everyone was sorry. He probably would fit into an essay about ruling figures in tgcf. There isn't much said about Lan Ying yet, and later we learn way more about Nan Feng and Fu Yao, so there are some things I want to say that are not about characters. The themes important for the whole book and many characters — desire for closeness with other people, striving to find someone who will understand you and will never leave, inevitability of tragic events, discrepancy between what you are and what people see you as, distortion of history — are introduced in the first chapters. All of them will be important in the future arcs and probably this is why it's so easy to find foils: we see how the same themes are explored in different characters. I wonder how many words will be used for more important characters if I wrote so much on Xiao Ying…

[ashleysalcove]

Title: The Outsiders

Author: S.E. Hinton

Publication: April 24, 1967

Synopsis:

No one ever said life was easy. But Ponyboy is pretty sure that he's got things figured out. He knows that he can count on his brothers, Darry and Sodapop. And he knows that he can count on his friends—true friends who would do anything for him, like Johnny and Two-Bit. But not on much else besides trouble with the Socs, a vicious gang of rich kids whose idea of a good time is beating up on “greasers” like Ponyboy. At least he knows what to expect—until the night someone takes things too far.

First Line:

When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.

Favorite Character: Dallas Winston

OTP: Dallas and Cherry ☺️💕✨💖

Favorite Quote: “I could fall in love with Dallas Winston,” she said. “I hope I never see him again, or I will.”

Rating: ★★★★★

My Thoughts:

*SPOILERS*

Life is funny isn’t it? Funny in the way the things we like sometimes change as we age and mature. I think Taylor Swift is the only musician from my early teens that I still love, probably even more now than I did back then, at twenty-eight. I can’t tell you a single book I’d read back then that I would still enjoy today that isn’t for nostalgic reasons.

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton is a book that I was supposed to read at fifteen years old for my advanced English class, but at the time I had so much going on at home that I wasn’t interested in anything and by my last class, which was Science, I was fighting to keep my eyes open. Years later I bought it again to read on my old iPad, but I only got through 1 and a half chapters. I wasn’t paying attention to what I read and I guess I just wasn’t interested in those types of stories at that time. I loved the Twilight Saga and Fallen and etc.

Today, at twenty-eight, I was able to read and finish it thanks to my kindle. I think that’s one of the drawbacks of being a ‘mood reader’ and one of many reasons I love my kindle. Being able to read the books I’m in the mood for the second I’m in the mood for them has helped me become a more voracious reader. Before, I’d always be in the mood to read something else by the time the book I ordered arrived.

I am of the belief that everything happens the way it’s supposed to. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t think that the meaning and the themes of The Outsiders would have resonated with me at fourteen or even twenty-two for that matter the way they have today. There’s something about being in your late twenties and reading a book like The Outsiders and thinking back on your childhood and the people you’ve interacted with or grown up around that makes this book more meaningful. Of course, those who read it back in high school and reread it today as adults might have differing opinions.

S.E. Hinton’s writing is so simple and beautiful and lyrical even which is surprising since she wrote The Outsiders in High School. That is amazing and quite an impressive accomplishment for a teenager to have especially since it’s considered an important piece of literature today. How many 16 or 17 year olds can say that they wrote a book that would be read over and over for years and in some cases even banned for, in my opinion, showing the hard truth of realities? Probably not many.

I love the characters so much. I love Dallas Winston. I can fix him (no really I can). I think Johnny Cade had a better understanding of the insides of people than Ponyboy does. Maybe it’s because Johnny had a more difficult home life than Ponyboy or maybe it’s because Johnny has seen a lot more than he has. I don’t know, but what I do know is that Johnny Cade deserved better than the ending he gets.

I love the foreshadowing S.E. Hinton does throughout the book. I think it’s very impressive she was able to do so on her first book and at such a young age too. I feel like there were times she could’ve gone into a little more detail like the fatal fight between Ponyboy and Johnny and the socs in the park. I feel like there could’ve been more emotion than there already was.

I think S.E. Hinton is incredibly skilled at dialogue. The dialogue and relationships between the characters just flow so beautifully throughout the book. My favorite scene is when Two-Bit, Johnny, and Ponyboy are walking Cherry and Marcia to Two-Bit’s so he could give them a ride home. I love the dialogue between Cherry and Johnny and I love how real it felt and how you could feel the pain Ponyboy feels when he shouts that it’s not fair that the greasers have all the rough breaks and how you could feel the figurative slap Johnny feels when Pony tells him that Johnny’s parents don’t care about him.

I love Ponyboy’s thinking that Darry hates him and I have to wonder if I would have thought that too had I read it when I was younger and if I had thought that how would I see things if I reread it as an adult? I guess I’ll never know. When Darry slaps Pony, as a reader, you can feel the hurt on both ends. As an adult I knew that Darry behaved the way he did and treated Pony the way he does partly because Darry loves him and is afraid to lose him but also because Darry wants Pony to be able to have the opportunities he had but was unable to explore.

I love the scene after everything goes down and the boys look for Dallas and find him at the one guy’s place, I forget his name, and the way Dallas came out to talk to them even though he was tired and sore from having his ribs cracked. I loved the way Dallas smiled when he realized Pony thought he had been with a girl. That way he smiled, I could see him so so clearly, and I think that’s when I started to love him. I love how Dally helped them out and the way he keeps his mouth shut and takes the blame for something Two-Bit did when he could have easily ratted him out. The hair on his chest. The way Dallas opens up to Johnny after Johnny says he and Pony are going to turn themselves in. The way he talks about Cherry and how she hates him and when I read that all I could think to myself was: if only you knew!

God, I fucking love Dallas Winston.

In the beginning of the book Pony only sees people on a surface level. He doesn’t see past their roughness and thinks of them in almost the way socs do. Pony grows up so much throughout the book. I love his relationship with his brothers and how soft all of the guys in their little gang are for each other. You can feel the love between all of them.

To Dallas those guys are the only family he has. They mean the world to him and it shows. I mean, how many people would you go to the door to see with freshly cracked ribs? How many people would you help run from the police to protect them from the hardness that jail can bring you?

Johnny didn’t deserve to die the way he does. Johnny Cade didn’t deserve to die at all. The final moment with Dallas and Johnny in the hospital is heartbreaking. The way Dally hoped that telling Johnny that the greasers beat the socs would make everything better. He thought for sure that if anything could have saved Johnny it would’ve been learning that. Reading it reminded me of Jennette McCurdy talking about how she naively thought that telling her mother she finally reached their goal weight would bring her back. And when telling Johnny that doesn’t work, Dallas tries again and harder this time because now it’s urgent. It was urgent before but now it really is because the thing Dallas thought for sure would save him wasn’t saving him. He tells Johnny that he’s still being called a hero and that he and the boys are proud of him.

Dallas has the biggest heart out of all of them and I think that’s why he prefers to be so hardened or to make people think he was. It was his way of protecting himself from more heartbreak but he’d let his guard down when it came to that lost little puppy that was Johnny Cade who idolized him and admired him so much. He didn’t even see it coming. I think the line that sums up Dally is one he speaks himself: “… you get tough like me and you don’t get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothin’ can touch you.”

I want to say that Dallas didn’t deserve to die the way he does, because he didn’t, but it’s hard because it was his choice. He wanted to die. He lost the one person he let himself love and I have to believe that it was also guilt that led him to dying the way he did. Guilt for being the one who told the boys about the church and how to get there.

God, I fucking love Dallas Winston.

[demonstars]

hii im starting to get into poetry and i trust your taste so i was wondering who your favorite authors/poets are ? if you don’t mind :)

oh my god this is so sweet WISHING YOU WELL ON YOUR JOURNEY. i'll list you my top five (english) poets here, they're really excellent so you have something to start from but what i really recommend is that once you find one poet/poem and check out their other works AND if they've worked on anthologies/shared what their favorite poems are. ok ok So

hanif abdurraqib — he has beautiful essays on living and dying and how you make your place in the world and i genuinely think on summer crushing saved my life—and his ways of webbing words together just shows its prime in poetry. heavely recomment it's not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die and, if you can, listen to him read it

ada limon — LOVE HER TO DEATH. one of the first poets I ever read in my life when starting to understand english and it changed my fucking life. it, being what i didn't know before which is just like one of those poems that just hit you like a trunk. one of the most beautiful gifts i've ever received is a copy of her bright dead things (book), so i must recommend state bird. it's not even her best poem (that goes to dead stars and no it's not because i'm obsessed with them) in my opinion it's just representative of everything I love about her writing. also she is currently working on an anthology that i am so excited to read and discover new poets through that!!

richard siken — well. y'know. Like y'know. I JUST NEED EVERYONE TO MOVE ON FROM CRUSH OR GET BETTER AT JUST LOOKING AT HIM FROM DISEMBOWELED QUOTES POSTED FOR CLOUT. read poetry it made me cry. I need more people to get excited with me when he posts a new one pleaseeeeeeeeeee @RICHARDSIKEN I KNOW YOU HAVE PROBLEMATIC THOUGHTS ON AI I STILL WANT YOU.

hera lindsay bird — one of Those poets that will just let you a bit confused and fascinated. I think I've reread the entire catalogue of poems on her blog at least thrice because I really liked them and couldn't articulate exactly why!!! I still struggle!!! Gotta link I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU I WANT TO LIE DOWN cause yeah yeah we've all seen major public intersection. i want her self titled collection so bad. also pamper me to hell and back. aka all her published work. speech time changed my life when i was 16. she has a dnf poem. GREAT POET.

June Gehringer — can't even express it with words how much i love her. i get genuine rsd over her work being misinterpreted and flattened specially with fucking twitter reposters Shoutout my priv mutuals last year who supported me annoying one of those 10k fake deep accounts to give her credit. anyway. THANK GOD FOR PEACH MAG. I DO GET SO JEALOUS OF EUTHANIZED GODS. recs is The universe collapses waoo.... she has a very good one on grief and transnesss that i KNOWWWW i posted here but i can't find it should i die. ugh so frustating

and here is Others that I couldn't include because I just realized i need to be my friend's house in two hours and I am not yet ready with my assignment but you should DEFINITELY check out: . Lisel Mueller. Mahmoud Darwish, Anne Sexton. frank o'hara. gabrielle calvocoressi. Matthew Olzmann. chen chen. OKAY HOPE THIS HELPED!!!!!!!

[thebroccolination]

I've Been Revisiting Stargate Atlantis…

Because my broken foot is still healing, so I'm trying to rest at home as much as I can, and SkyReplay airs it pretty regularly.

It's also because I love revisiting my favorite fandoms. Especially the fandoms I was in as a teenager. Hours upon hours spent reading these incredible fics written by people whose talent just made them feel heroic to me as a younger writer. When I rewatch these episodes, I remember my life as it was then. Fandom as it was then.

When I first watched Stargate Atlantis, I was in my third year of high school. I still posted my fics to FFN. I hadn't even heard of LiveJournal yet. I took a laptop and a book everywhere. I hadn't realized my queerness. I had few friends. And I was years away from leaving the States to live in another country where I'd finally stop trying to find the perfect way to change myself to impress my family. I'd find out that living like that would have chipped away at my heart and, ultimately, slowly erase the person I am now.

I was a lurker in most fandoms since the age of nine. I wrote fic and posted it sometimes, but I didn't engage in many forums. I rarely talked to anyone online at all, and I didn't really make fandom friends, either. Whenever I found a fandom with a huge amount of fics, I didn't bother writing anything myself. I just read as much as I could, the longer the fic, the better.

I knew fandom as a mainly adult space, and I was excited to be part of it. These fan-written stories felt more familiar to me than the media they were based on, especially with queer romance instead of heterosexual. And while there were famous episodes of Drama and Fandom Wank, fandom was, in general, my safe space.

Online fandom insulated me from all the school and family strife that I couldn't avoid offline while Being a Teenager. Fandom was a treehouse I could climb into. Pull the ladder up behind me, sprawl on some pillows, feel the cool breeze and the sun pouring in through the windows. Safe and alone with my imagination and the stories shared in a little-known community where no one who felt unsafe could find me.

And the fandom of Stargate Atlantis was an extra special escape. The fic was phenomenal, and the meta was incredible, and the show was ridiculous sometimes but fun and full of potential to explore in fic.

I just rewatched "Trinity" and reread Time in a Bottle by @astolat today, and all those feelings are still where I left them, only now I'm older and more experienced. And I'm so much happier than I was then. It's like revisiting the treehouse and finding everything right where I left it, untouched by time or weather or discovery.

Fandom has changed. Even back then, fandom wasn't a treehouse for everyone. But when I think about what it was for me, when I look back on how much it saved me and made my life worth living and celebrating in the darkest moments, I think, That's what I know to pass on now. I can't give my experience to anyone else, but I can make treehouses. I can create communities where people feel safe in their joy.

That is, in a way, what AO3 is. The big treehouse. Where our stories are safe.

And I think that's what we're here for, in the big What Are We Here For? sense.

To soak in the sun together when we can, then build cover from the rain. Protecting our peace and each other's so we can use our breathtakingly short time to share stories by a fire.

There's a moment in Astolat's fic that made me cry when I was in high school. It won't have the same impact without the rest of the fic, so please read it first, but it's this:

[John] had one wild moment just standing there, and then he flung himself on the bed, scrabbling at Rodney's shoulders, hauling him up against his body to hold him tight tight tight, and Rodney shuddered awake and grabbed him back. John said, "Rodney, Jesus God, don't—don't—" and Rodney gasped, "John, John, John," and clung to him.

Rereading it today, it still made me emotional. The fic is just as beautiful as I remembered it. It's just as important to me as it was then.

And I genuinely believe it's fics like that that have had the greatest influence on my writing. That soul-deep emotion. A character thinking they've lost their person only to get them back. That excerpt is only two sentences, and I've remembered them for years. I must have read this fic when I was in my last year of high school, and I must have read it on my laptop in my bedroom, sitting on my bed with the pillows against my back. Back before I read that you should keep your bed for sleeping only. I read so many fics on my computer in bed. I don't remember where I was exactly, if it was there or elsewhere, but I do remember crying.

And I never forgot that scene. It left a comforting stitch in my mind with a precious memory underneath.

And how beautiful are we when we do this? That we found a way to tell untold numbers of people these sincere, heartfelt stories that not only stay with us for years afterward but also thread themselves into the core of who we are and maybe even change how we see the world and what we think life could be?

If we're alive for anything, I think it's to do that: to press our fingerprints together and leave a bit of golden light on someone who needs it.

[autisticempathydaemon]

i love these little match ups!! you're such an angel for doing them they're literally adorable <3

song im fixated on: Persephone in the Garden by Aidoneus. first off i'm a sucker for hades and persephone and this song is written as if it's from his point of view sooo. but the part "you assumed that i could make you feel it was worth it/but all i ever did was drag you down" it's so powerful it makes me want to scream

my enneagram 4w5 hehe (also an INFJ which is... predictable)

childhood imaginary friend: omg i had a lot of imaginary friends growing up but my main one was this girl named alison and we would do everythinggg together. she was everything i wanted to be and more, kind, sweet, pretty, and just such a cool girly

go to sleepy time routine: i'm the kinda person who needs to make up a little scenario in my head. it helps me to get my mind off the day and to stop overthinking everything bc i'm thinking about my lil story hehe

changing my name: i think my name suits me really well tbh i don't think i would change it

fav audio: i <3 comfy cozy easy videos so like davids hoodie video or literally any sleep aid from any of them, i love the domestic boys

boy that doesn't hold appeal: tbh i love every single boy in their own way, truly i don't have a least favorite. but i probably get the least hype about vincents audios, i still love him dearly though, i'm just not AS attached

book/movie/tv show i know the words to: the hunger games omg i was so obsessed when i was younger and i've recently been rereading/rewatching and i really do know every. single. word.

which boy do you wanna be besties with: i would give anything to be best friends with ash he is such a cool dude. i feed off his energy so easily and he just creates such a safe space to be silly and laugh and i love him for it

sleepy ramble: my ramble is also definitely space. when i'm tired i start thinking about the logistics of existence and space and science and the world and i just go off on tangents

gas station combo: raspberry iced tea, bbq chips, and reeses hehe

fav playlist: one i made with one of my close friends, its perfection and i get new music out of it all the time

guilty pleasure media: idk if it counts but i do unironically love hallmark movies which usually gets a reaction out of ppl lol, i'm a hopeless romantic and they're horribly cheesy its a perfect combo

other info: my love language is physical touch, i looove reading and writing, and i rotate my stuffed animals so they all feel loved (toy story really did a number on me ajsdkfl)

i hope you're having a wonderful day, take all the time you need to get to this <33

A lot about you- your enneagram, your MBTI, the types of audios you like- gives me the impression of someone very sweet and thoughtful, someone who spends a lot of time in their head and dreams. I think Anton would be a lovely partner for you in the way he complements that.

What I love about both these personality types is that they are introverted but in no way subdued; in that way, I feel you and Anton would be similar. There’s so much more beneath his surface than he lets on, but I think you bring that out in him, call out to the soft, gooey, loving parts of him no one else sees-

-and he would be SO adorably gooey and sweet. His voice would be the most perfect thing for you, given your preference for comfy, sleepy audios. I bet it’d be killing him to not be there to hug you or give you affection the way you’d prefer, so I can imagine him doing something really thoughtful like recording himself reading your favorite books to keep you company while he’s at ETS.

Song:

Even when we're miles apart, I have your voice but feel no touch/ You are so close to my heart, but we're far from flesh and blood/ See, in a world so full of dissonance, our harmony's a flood/ Inside my heart, I don't need cards or flying doves to feel our magic

I can’t get a read on what kind of music he would listen to, I’m not gonna lie, so I don’t know if he’d necessarily like this song, but the lyrics feel right, you know? I like how it’s formatted like an audio love letter, one he could send while he’s away.

Runner-Ups:

Morgan strikes me as similar to Anton in a lot of ways- they’ve both got this quiet, pensive nature that’s very appealing. If we were as intense and expressive as Anton, it would have been a closer call. Now, here’s the long shot. Someone sweet and charming like you would have gorgeous, dragged to the underworld, spouse of Hades vibes with Vega, okay? Just imagine it.

Note: as always, much thanks for your patience and understanding! I hope you see this and really like it (and Vega. You can imagine Imp!Vega instead if you prefer!)

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌