#he doesnt know how to make chicken soup

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

costco rotisserie chicken

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

@one-joe-spoopy you asked a few days ago about Miasma in my monster hunter au. It has taken me two days, but I've reached a point where I'm content enough to share my thoughts finally (and @esquemeencanta I haven't forgotten you Jove <3)

This is the tale behind Juno losing his original eye to Miasma. Sometime after this encounter he gets a new enchanted magical eye from Ramses O'Flaherty, finds out he's a changeling actually named Jack Takano, and after that shit storm, Juno gouges the magical eye out himself (almost dies trying). The continuation picking up with Hunter Steel and Hunter Glass is in the back of my mind. I've been fried trying to think of how Juno fights a monster he knows next to nothing about, and how he's supposed to do it alone (because ya know- he's stubborn like that)

! Obligatory guts, gore, blood, and violence and angst warning !

Juno works for the Hyperion Monster Hunter Association. He's brought Rita along with him and together they've been doing pretty well. Falco reached out a handful of times but after enough missed calls caught on that Juno wasn't going to come back to HCPD. By then, Juno had made a name for himself as a hunter in Hyperion. He was seeked out for personal jobs often enough that he didn't need to rely on the job postings from the HMHA. Sometimes though he still takes a posting.

There had been a few postings for a series of disruptions in the valleys down south of Hyperion City for a few months. Other Hunters had taken up the jobs and died trying to hunt down whatever monster was out there. Reports from the Cerberus Province were coming in:

Puddles of black gunk have been forming overnight. Anything that steps in it immediately sinks to the bottom. It is unclear if there even is a bottom to these pools.

Vehicles are being broken into and stripped for parts.

Earthquakes are being recorded, rumbling every few hours like clock work. This area is not known for experiencing earthquakes.

Other monsters have been found dead, disembowled and drained of their blood.

Juno takes the latest job request and gets Rita to look over some survey maps taken of the area. She finds that where the monster carcasses are turning up, there was a puddle of gunk there previously. She says she may be able to find out more if Juno can collect a sample. He obliges and returns to her a day later with a small jar full of gunk. His hands smell like burnt tar.

Rita runs a few tests on the jar of gunk and she finds that it has a mostly liquid state, but when disturbed it solidifies. A non-newtonian liquid. Like water mixed with cornstarch. It oozes slowly but seizes up when jostled. Rita makes a comment that she can't stand the smell, "it must taste pretty bad too. Don't know why any monsters would be getting so close to it." Juno unscrews the jar and sticks his finger in it. Rita watches horrified from her computer at their office as Juno proceeds to sniff the gunk (bad idea), and lick it (super disgusting idea).

Juno finds that even though the gunk smells bad, it tastes... okay. Little bit of a burnt wood taste to it, but nothing awful. It's almost sweet. Kind of savory. He goes around asking other hunters at the HMHA to try it and many refuse. The ones that do all come to the same conclusion as him: a little burnt, kind of sweet and savory.

One Hunter boldly takes the jar from Juno and spills it out over a table. Nothing happens at first as it slowly spreads out, but soon enough it's like the gunk has a mind of its own. It begins to almost crawl. It "oozes" across the table. Juno slams the jar back over it, the other hunter tries to frantically scoop it back into one mass. They eventually get it in a cup and back into the glass jar. Rita is not impressed when she hears about their sheer stupidity.

Juno brings the jar home and shows it to Ben. This whole time Ben has been hearing about the ooze from Juno and listening to his calls with Rita, but hasn't actually seen it. He looks at it in the jar and takes a good whiff ("Juno what the hell... you licked this? Gross... will I lick it? Yeah sure- when I'm dead! Put that lid back on or so help me.") Ben asks Juno what happens when it's introduced to heat. He says he isn't sure but according to Rita,

"In theory, it should just solidify. Non-Newtonian fluids cannot withstand extreme heat. The liquidity part evaporates. Just leaving the solid-ity part."

"I'm impressed. You listened to her."

Juno frowns. "I always listen to Rita."

"That's not what I meant. I meant: you listened to her, and you even sound like her now."

"... haha, very funny Benten... do you want to help me find out what happens when you introduce this stuff to fire or not though?"

Ben and Juno are both extremely smart in their own ways. They are also both extremely dumb in the same way. Ben lights the stove, Juno holds the jar with a pair of tongs, and they watch with bated breath as the gunk tries to hop out of the jar as it gets hotter. Eventually it stops moving altogether. And sure enough, when Juno removes it from the stove and lets it cool, it's solid.

Ben asks Juno what he's going to do and Juno simply says he's going on a Hunt.

"You can't be serious? Juno- this is dangerous. You're going to literally be playing with fire."

"I can handle it."

"Juno- I'm serious. Take this seriously."

"I am."

"Then you'll listen to me when I say, it'll make me feel a whole lot better if you take someone with you."

"You know that's not how this works Benten-"

"A Kanagawa hunter would be more than willing to work with you. Hell- what's her name Big Eyes would probably kill to work with you again."

"BENZAITEN! Enough! This is my job alright? I don't tell you how your recitals should be going or what stretches you need to be doing! You don't get to boss me around about how my Hunts go. End of discussion."

"Juno-"

"No. We're done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow, I'm going on my hunt."

Juno goes to bed without saying goodnight. He wakes up and leaves for the office without eating or saying good morning. Ben calls but he doesn't answer. He calls Rita and Rita relays the message "just tell him I'll be waiting at home and- good luck."

Juno takes with him his pistol, shotgun, a flask of vodka, canisters of gasoline, a box of matches (Ben's brand), and an empty glass milk jar. He drives out to the valleys between HC and the CP to the largest black pool and starts pouring gasoline into and around it. He brought five of them with him. Rita said that his plan was dangerous. ("maybe we can get a hold of Ms. Cassandra and find out if-" "I'm not bringing Cass into this. This is my hunt. I'm doing it my way.") She made him agree that if she didnt hear back from Juno in an hour, she would call Juno, and if he failed to pick up she'd ask for assistance ("I ain't takin no as an answer Mista Steel." "You and Benzaiten worry too much." "Sorry Boss, but you're important to us.")

Juno stands back as he strikes a match and tosses it into the gas. He watches the pool erupt in flame. The ground trembles underneath him. Juno falls backwards. Something rises out of the pool... a monster.

Covered in black gunk, reeking of burnt tar, a monster on fire towers over him. She hisses and squeals. She would be beautiful if half her face wasn't torn off and the other half on fire. Black tentacles rise with her. She has a maw full of razor sharp teeth that go around and around in rings. In that moment, Juno knew he was fucked and would likely die. But if theres one thing being a Steel had prepared him for, its to not go down without a fight.

Juno brings around his shotgun and fires. He lands two bullets that lodge themselves in the monster. She hisses and growls, lunging at him. Her hands are sharp talons. They dig into his shoulders and drag him through the ground. Forgotten is the flask and jar. She rises again towering over him. He takes aim and fires another shot that embeds itself in her shoulder. She howls, a tentacle comes slicing through the air. He rolls out of the way in time and continues rolling as more trail after him.

He remembers the flask when it falls out of his coat. He takes hold of it and unscrews the cap, gulping a mouthful and holding it in his cheeks. With shaking hands he reaches for another match and lights it. He turns and spits the vodka into the flame, lighting a trail of flames that follows a tentacle of black tar. It spreads and the monster catches fire, screeching, leaving Juno time to unholster his pistol. He takes aim and fires off a few more rounds at her, slowly limping his way back where he dropped his shotgun and the milk jar. Finally, one of his bullets lands at her core. The monsters screeching turns to silent wailing.

Her size has shrunk as most of her body has caught fire, the rest is riddled with silver bullets. She clutches two appendages over her chest where the last bullet struck. Frantically trying to dig it out. She slowly tries to slip away as Juno grabs his jar and makes the dumbest decision he could've ever done: he runs towards her. He holsters his pistol, unscrews the jar and keeps the lid in one hand. The monster musters what remaining strength she has as both of the appendages over her chest shoot out. Two things happen at once:

One. Everything comes down to a singular point of pain. Juno feels it as his eye gets scooped out and he just about blacks out.

Two. He successfully scoops the monsters core inside the jar. The lid comes down on it, and monster screams as she shrinks to fit inside her small prison.

Juno has just enough strength left in him to screw the lid on. He blacks out shortly after.

(Ben calls Juno and then calls Rita when he can't reach him. He insist she call him right then and there because "something is wrong. I know it. Rita- listen to me. Call it' call it twin intuition, alright." Intrigued by this Rita calls Juno and when he doesn't answer her she calls in Cassandra.

Cass says she isn't in the mood to save Steel’s sorry ass. Ben takes Rita's comms from her to speak to Cass directly, "You owe me Kanagawa. I'm calling in your favor to me. And if you don't uphold our deal Cassandra, I will make your family's life hell." Rita has always liked Benten. That day she understood what Juno means by "Ben strikes the fear of Benzaiten into you".

Cass rides out to the valleys on her motorbike and finds a giant gaping hole in the ground. Beside it- Juno Steel. Cass turns him over carefully removing the milk jar. She sees his fucked up face and hauls him inside his truck. She tosses his shotgun in the backseat and straps the jar in next to her as she floors it back to Hyperion City. When Ben meets her at the hospital she apologizes and says she still owes Ben his favor, she shouldn't have brushed Rita off so quickly. All Ben does is tell her to leave. Rita promises to give her a call when Juno comes around.)

Juno wakes up in the hospital. He panics unable to see out of one eye. He tries to sit up and falls back groaning and grunting in pain. Something shifts next to him and he turns his head. It's Benzaiten. Bathed in golden light.

"Do you remember what Ma used to say, whenever she found us fighting? Fighting over the Andromeda costumes and Turbo toys?"

"Benten-" Juno wheezes and coughs. Ben turns and fills a glass with water. He carefully hands it over to Juno without a word.

"Ma used to say that we shouldn't fight. She didn't want us to fight because when it came down to it, there was only us in the world. She said- if we wanted to get flattened, we go and lie down in the road, but we aren't supposed to do that to each other." Ben smiles. At least Juno thinks he sees him smile. The sun glares behind him creating the perfect halo. An angel. Juno's angel.

"Ma said that when she was gone, we would have to rely on each other, and that meant we couldn't fight. We need someone else so that when we're not tough enough, they can be." He takes a shaking breath. Juno sips his water and parts his lips. Ben shakes his head and holds a hand up. "Save it, I'm not done.

"Ma said a lot of things before she died. She wanted nothing but the best for us Juno. She wanted us to look out for each other, wanted us to fight the big mean world together, and she wanted us to live. I know you never believed her. I know you don't believe her now- but she was ours. She was- Ma. And you're my brother. Ma is gone. Annie is gone. Oldtown is dying. Sasha left. Mick can hardly take care of himself. And you're all I have left Juno... I need you Juno. I need you to be alive for me because I can't be tough enough for this world. I want you alive... why can't you want that for yourself."

Benzaiten stands from the chair he's in and walks around Junos hospital bed. In proper light Juno can see the bags under his eyes and the tears streaking down his cheeks. He takes the glass from Juno's shaking hands and sets it aside. He pulls Juno against him and half folds his body over, half shields his twin.

The same mouth. Same hands. Juno broke his nose when they were still kids. Ben broke his ankle a year ago. Their noses are different. The way they walk has changed. But the one thing that no one could take away was their matching gaze. Their matching eyes.

(Ben leaves the hospital to visit Rita. She welcomed him inside her home without a second thought. She opens a window and sits down at her breakfast table while Ben takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He takes a long draw and holds the smoke in his lungs for a long moment. He exhales slowly. His tears have long since dried. He thought he cried himself out at Ma's funeral. He was wrong.)

Juno goes back out to the site in the valleys a few weeks later with Cass. She took the jar and kept it to herself. When she saw Juno in the hospital she asked about it. He just said to turn it over to Rita and she'd take care of it from there (to this day Rita still has it in her personal office at home. The monster watches her work. She finds it easier to work when she has something to explain her thought process to and the monster is frequently subjected to that. When she's not home Rita keeps it locked up inside a safe next to emergency bac up shrimp crunchies.)

Cass and Juno explore the gaping hole together. (Cass pulled her weight as a Kanagawa and had the site quarantined off from other hunters and the public). They find a whole underground network of chambers and lab equipment. Journals and notes. Juno flips through a few pages and together this is what they piece together:

Doctor Miasma was a human doctor. She learned about fae medicine and was desperate to get her hands on it by any means possible. In order to get any though she needed to cross over. So. She did. She forcibly opened her own portals and exchanged parts of herself, constantly replacing whatever she lost. Her arms, her legs, half her face. Eventually she gave up the last thing she had to offer: her humanity.

Miasma awoke a monster in the fae wilds. She used intimidation to force them to open a portal for her to cross back home. She created her underground lab and stocked it with soup. She ran experiments on herself. With practice she honed her hunting skills and had her first taste of fae blood.

Shortly thereafter Miasma lost more than her body and humanity. She lost her memories. She lost her name. She forgot her title, forgot her research, and simply became a monster that consumed.

Some part of her must have remembered something though. She broke cars and stole parts from them trying to build a machine to harness magic and open portals. Even after giving up everything, Miasma was still trying to get back to the fae realm

Cass finds the rotting corpses of dead monsters. Their blood not yet drained.

Juno's seen enough and with Cass' help climbs out of the hole.

"Cass- you write the report."

"Huh? Why? This was your Hunt. I don't need the credit or the money."

"And I don't want the attention it's going to bring. Write it. If you have questions call Rita."

(Cass swears this will be the last nice thing she does for Juno. She writes the report and hands it over to the HMHA. The senior hunters of the association are confused why she's handing in the paperwork. She shrugs and tells them "Steel doesn't want to handle the guts." The Kanagawas come in and clean everything out. Cecil does a live stream special walking through "the lab of a monster". Juno reads the newspaper in the kitchen while Ben makes them breakfast. Life carries on.)

[purplestars222]

Period comfort with hazbin characters

ft alastor, lucifer, fallen!adam and husk

gn afab reader! no y/n used, and you arent in a relationship with alastor, just besties <3 all the other boys have a crush on you.

there will be more parts, may not be period comfort tho, just more hazbin/helluva characters comforting the reader while theyre sick

cw: mentions of period sex, adam is chubby, slight ooc

mdni please<3

Alastor

The smell of blood draws alastor to your room, hes a little worried that you're hurt, but its nothing he cant fix. As he enters your room, and sees you curled up in the fetal position he goes and sits next to you

"Darling, whats the matter? It's a wonderful day and you're spending it in bed! I believe Charlie is baking cookies! You-"

"go away alastor. i'm on my period."

"Well why didnt you say so!"

Alastor disappears into his shadow, and returns a few minutes later with a hot water bottle, a bottle of cold water, some pain meds and dark chocolate. He throws the items on your bed and smiles at you expectingly. You shoot him back a smile of appreciation. Even tho alastor and you had your moments, he's still a good friend when he needs to be.

Lucifer

Lucifer has a crush on you, and its no secret either. Every day he sits next to you during breakfast, he always makes sure you eat enough. He always does Charlie's silly little trust exercises with you, just being in your vicinity makes him happy. When you dont come down for breakfast, he gets worried, he made your favourite for you- pancakes! He decides to take some to your room. When he enters, and sees you curled up on the bed, he sits the tray of pancakes on your bedside table and sits next to you

"Hey, you didnt come down for breakfast, are you okay??"

you shake your head no, and he seems really concerned. He hates seeing you in pain, its horrible. Suddenly he remembers something- lillith acted like this when she first came to hell, periods. In the garden of eden, lilliths periods didnt hurt her, but as soon as she came to hell, it felt like her uterus was stabbing her, luckily luci fixed it

"Can i help?"

You stare up at him, eyes slightly watering from the pain and nod your head, anything to get rid of this. Luci carefully peels back your blanket and rests his hands on your groin, you shiver at the feeling of his warm hands, its nice. Theres a bright glow of golden light, and suddenly, the pains gone, the period pain at least, you still have a headache, and you're still pretty exhausted. You pull luci into a hug, he hugs back, giving you a kiss on the head

"Want me to run you a bath, sweetheart?"

"Yes please"

Lucifer hops up and heads into your ensuite, he starts a bath, making sure to get some really nice smelling soap and bath salts. He puts some rose petals in the tub to make it look pretty, and a couple of rubber duckies. Lucifer cares so much, hes so sweet.

Adam

Adam doesn't really understand the whole 'periods thing'. They didn't have them in heaven, so he doesn't really know what to do when you wake up grabbing your stomach. He pulls out his phone and decides to have a look online to see if there's anything he can get that will help, theres products from the vee's, but he doesnt trust those fuckers. He scrolls across an article that says orgasms can help with period cramps. When adam first shoots the idea at you, you're hesitant, period sex isnt something you've done before, and it seems a little scary, but you let him. He puts a towel under the both of you, and he makes sure that you 100% wanna do this before he gets started. When you guys have done, your pains are pretty much gone. he pulls you on top of him and you just lay there for awhile, enjoying the warmth from adams soft belly <3

Husk

Husk isn't too educated with this stuff either, but he knows how to take care of someone when they're sick. He doesn't realise you have your period at first, he just thinks it's a stomach bug. He gets you some chicken noodle soup and a few painkillers, when you explain to him that you have no appetite because of how bad the pain is, it suddenly clicks in his brain what's happening. He gives you a small kiss on the forehead, then walks out. He goes to charlie asking for help, she gathers together a basket full of snacks, pads, tampons, a menstrual cup, period underwear, hot water bottle with a cute cat cover and some noise cancelling headphones, in case things get overwhelming. Husk brings it back to you and lets you snuggle into him, something he doesn't allow very often. You spend the next few days cuddled up in bed, playing with husks ears watching movies. He helps you when you need to shower, and also keeps your hot water bottle hot. he just really enjoys taking care of you, not that he'd admit that

[golden-boy-of-the-gazette]

I'm sick so heres some Danny when your sick rambles.

As Danny hes like, not interested in you at all. Not even a little. He's taking care of you but theres no love in it at all, it's all begrudgingly to keep the peace. He doesnt know how to cook so expect canned chicken noodle soup that he somehow fucked up. He spills the soup on you when bringing it over to you and you're not sure if it was an accident or not.

If he's Jed though he will be a lot nicer, significantly as fake as it is. Kisses on the forehead, tucking you in and bringing you medicine all that good stuff. Watches you from a distance to make sure you're doing okay like in a chair across the room. He will be like reading or something until your asleep then hes shamelessly staring and looking over you. Hes so silly like that.

[dadsbongos]

i loved that denji one ty 😝🤘u said u've been wanting to write for him? ur in luck cuz i can only think about him 😎😎

how about (fem) reader is sick or something and denji's there to take care of her but like he sucks at it and he doesnt know the fever temps (cuz that'd be pretty funny)

or switched and reader takes care of sick denji :)

ok i know... i know you said him being bad at it is funny... but i think aki having forced him to become a good nurse is sillier

645 words -- not proofread :/

~~~

“I knew you were hot,” Denji wiggles the thermometer in front of your sweaty face, grinning despite the miserable downturn of your lips.

“Denji.”

“Sorry,” he huffs, studying the dial again and sucking air through his jagged teeth, “This is shit, though. You’re boiling.”

You nod sluggishly, “I know, Denji.”

“That’s seriously bad.”

“I know, Denji.”

He frowns, bending down to wring a towel through cool water before laying it over your forehead. Smoothing down the cloth just because he feels useless otherwise. Denji gnaws his bottom lip as he thinks, sitting on the edge of your bed to hold your clammy hand.

“Do you want soup?” he murmurs unsurely, watching you wince and swallow hard before nodding slowly. With a new and apparent objective in mind, Denji beams down at you before rushing off, “Okay!”

Soon after, he returns with an off-white bowl shaking in his hands before sitting beside you again on the bed. You blink up at him with crinkly, boogery eyes and croak out desperately, “...chicken noodle?”

“Chicken noodle,” Denji nods surely, spooning soup up and into your mouth, “I tried not to make the broth too hate.”

“Thanks, Denji.”

“‘Cuz if I burned your tongue I think I’d skin my hand.”

You chuckle weakly, sputtering phlegm and wheezing as you do before soothing a hand over your chest, “Thanks, Denji.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” he happily feeds you more soup, feeling his whole body go lighter and lighter the longer you go eating his food without throwing it up. He knows it’s a little strange, but he remembers eating all of Aki’s cooking because he wanted Aki to know he appreciated it -- and he prays now that you might have the same motivation.

“Tea,” you’re mostly mouthing the word, desperate to avoid harsh scratching against the sore spot in the back of your throat. 

“Tea!” he hugs the emptied bowl to his chest (still getting the drippy remnants of chicken noodle soup on his shirt), prepared to rush out of your shared bedroom before pausing, “With honey, right?”

You nod sluggishly, yawning into the open air.

Denji’s eyes light up excitedly, “Lots of honey, right?”

Again, you nod. More so to entertain Denji than anything.

When he returns, it's with a steaming mug and a spoon in his mouth. You point at the spoon with a shaky finger and he speaks clumsily around it, “Honey!” he plucks out the spoon and lays it in his lap when he sits to avoid setting it on your nice dresser. Then he hands the warm mug to you, “And honey here, for my honey.”

You grimace playfully, rasping a “corny”, before blowing into the tea and sipping. 

“‘s true,” he wants to lay down with you, but you’d whack him upright -- too stacked with preemptive guilt of spreading germs onto Denji to let him cuddle you. 

“My neck feels slimy…”

“Shit,” he feels over the folded cloth on your head, “It’s warm!” he dips his fingertips into the large bowl of water he kept to re-moisten the cloth, “Warm!”

Denji runs off to the bathroom and soaks the cloth in cold water to slick over your feverish forehead before refilling the water bowl. Your heavy eyes follow him through the doorways, he stumbles and his hands are unsteady but he’s helpful. You’re sure Aki whipped him into shape on one of his rare sick days. Then, the thought of Power strikes and you’re almost giggling aloud -- what a nightmare that Fiend would be if she got ill.

“Back!” Denji cheers, settling the bowl down and stirring a single finger through the iced water, “Nice and cold for ya. If you overheated that’d be bad.”

“I know, Denji.”

“‘Cuz I don’t want you sick anymore,” he pouts.

Soothed by good humor, you smile genuinely and wave off his worry, “I know, Denji.”

[localwhoore]

can you write a fic where the logan sergeant defenders are all drivers and noelle gets into a fist fight with logan?

DRIVERS ????

WARNING QND DISCLAIMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

consented racism and unconsented ageism against noelle obviously under the cut

and also my opinions dont cancel me over this stupid shit tjanks 😁😁

red bull

goatifi

-> 2x wdc, clutched up AD21 and took the checkered flag 10 times (scoring an extra 250 points) and won the championship instead of max or lewis and caused outrage. also scored a redbull seat

max verstappen

-> DUDUDUDU MAX VERSTAPPEN DUDUDUDU MAAX VERSTAPPEN no seriously he won the championship by lap 1 😞

ferrari

fernando alonso

-> future 3x wdc, promising 43 yrold rookie future of f1 who is unfortunately unable to escape the torturous clutches of ferrari (finally wins a wdc for them too)

charles leclerc

-> is chained up and shackled at the bottom of ferrari HQ and fed cold soup and stale bread twice a week and cannot be released unless its race weekend. (inspired by the james vowles c.ai bot i got bored and talked to who had alex albon, who he called alaobono, in a cage for biting williams guests. also he crawled on all fours and threw chairs and printers)

mercedes

liyah amelia grace habibi afzal @foreveralbon

-> when f1 eventually brought sepang back onto the calendar, liyah was fighting for P1 a few laps in when her engineer mentioned sightseeing at KL’s twins towers (the petronas towers). this was a mistake as upon hearing those words, liyah was immediately inhabited by the spirit and earthly energies of her late uncle: muhammad hazam “ارهابي” omar afzal, who passed down his loving lifelong legacy to her via muscle memory and pure instinct aka going back to her roots. anyways, she flung her car towards a corner with banking and projectile launched herself at 346km/h over 60km distance between her and her goal over the span of a shocking 10 minutes and 24 seconds!!! liyah escaped the incident with little injury, but the same cannot be said for those inside the towers (towers as in plural because george russell flew past her into the 2nd tower shortly after). media had an absolute fucking field day

george russell

-> misses half his races to film ads for tommy hilfiger and marriot bonvoy. toto gets pissed and kicks him out of their sleepover party which makes george severely depressed but its ok cz he gets married to carmen in his fav hotel marriot w a british royalty themed wedding (hes dressed as princess diana)

mclaren

lando norris

-> 4x wdc, paid goatifi to take out max and asked oscar to pull a kmag in saudi and decimated a 1-2 at silver stone hip hip hooray also he got fucked into the monaco hairpin barriers and was injured permanently unable to grow a pedostache

oscar piastri

-> 999x wdc, boy oh boy where do i even begin. the loml, oscar piastri. you truly are my sunshine. my only sunshine. you make me happy when skies are gray. you’ll never know dearrrrr how much i looove youuu please dont takee my sunshine awaaaaayyyyyyyy pookie wookie aookie bookie cookie dookie eookue fookie gookie hookie iookie jookie kookie lookie mookie nookie oookie pookie quookie rookie sookie tookie uookie vookue wookue xookie yookie zookie

alphatauri

yuki tsunoda

-> 50x wdc. my goat 🐐 he beat daniel 23-1 and is a fucking LEGENDDDDDD MY GOAT TRRRRRAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOINTS AND YUKAMPIONSHIP LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

liam lawson

-> he finally let his hair grow out so he doesnt look like a lesbian anymore cutie patootie finally got a seat 😜😜

aston martin

avis cloostefek @aviscarrentals

-> actively trying to seduce lawrence stroll for that bank cz shes kinda broke idk the f1 life pays her less rhan she thought???? regularly breaks into the VIP area and eats all rhe food in catering because shes pasty pale white and has no cuisine culture except crackers and unseasoned boiled chicken and a side of cheese soggy french fries

lance stroll

-> justice for lance guys his dad is being seduced by a pasty white woman with very bad very severe chronic culture-less behavioural tendencies 😞

alpine..

lea @vroomvroomcircuit

-> im sorry but someone had to be in the alpine and i picked u🥰 much love!! anyways one fine typical tuesday lea remembered that her teammate is french and her deeprooted german moustache man awakened and unleashed havoc upon the french demanding her right to the land of the baguettes and croissant to be reclaimed for the return of glory for the motherlandYAA deutschland 🇩🇪 NEIN DA FÜHRER SAUSAGE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

pierre gasly

-> french ☹️

haas

althea noelle. @disneyprincemuke

-> 10x destructors championship. an antique and prehistoric primordial being in the form of a petite pinoy creature. it has devoted to the art of racing since the dawn of time. since day was night, night was day as the two parallels of each other blurred in a flourish and spectacle of a draped veil over the vast expanse known as the horizon, since the stars aligned side by side in the darkest of hours. she raced upon the lands of pangea, upon the tallest of mountains now reduced to stones and rubble that crumble under footsteps and blow with the breeze. throughout millennia, throughout the countless frigid winters and blistering summers as she watched empires rise and fell, civilisation bloom and prosper, tyrants dictate and rebels overthrow, dynasties rule and eras whirl past like the wind, akin to momentary blips as centuries compile into memories viewed back upon within seconds. the only divinity to harbour ancient knowledge lost to time and space, lost through endless bloodshed of war as humanity tore itself apart , screaming aggressive rage and agony from the inside as flesh ripped flesh as the steady drill of what could be known as time mercilessly marched on, and waited for none. the little beam of consciousness this dingus fostered within burnt bright bold as passion strove on as fuel for her little stature (shocking). also she has yet to score a point in f1 cz she keeps twinning logan sargeant and crashing out on the 1st lap. her nickname is turn one thea 💀💀💀

TLDR; noelle is old and hasnt scored in f1

kevin magnussen

-> https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFGTu8tL/

stake kick balls sauber

zhou goatyu

-> 中国是第一！！周冠宇我爱你啊！！！请让祖国骄傲我们都支持你。周冠宇周冠宇！加油加油加油拿多分🗣️🗣️🗣️🥶🥶🥶

mclgf (now ur saubergf idk) @mclarengf

-> all hands on deck for the pitstops!!!! toby and newplayer are incharge of the tires and aria is ur race engineer turned reserve driver and tobys a development driver idfk bro 😭😭

williams

alex albon

-> james vowles character ai bot

logan sargeant

-> Oh Say, can you see By the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly, yeah, streaming? And the rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave also twinning noelle loves crashing

safety car driver

me (i cant drive)

[minmos]

sorry im not drowning the post because i disagree with it, i just dont want to derail and traumadump on a stranger's post, but this is my dad finding out that forcefeeding me new foods while hes drunk isnt going to cure my sensory problems around food and actually will make me want to try new things less Sorry

but also bc i have thoughts on this ^ 1. does anyone have any advice on how to ger your nutritional needs met with autism related food problems. yes i know that the most effective way to get proper nutrition is to have a balanced diet & nothing else i can do is going to replace that. But does anyone have any like, at least harm reduction style advice while i work on that

in return i offer: ive found that learning to cook has expanded my world so much & is such a treat for my food weirdness. i feel like it's given me a level of control that makes me feel so much more secure when i eat, like i can control exactly how it tastes & the textures, and i know what's in it. And in turn, that extra security lets me try new foods on my own terms in a way that doesnt feel as scary as people forcefeeding me or pressuring me to try things when i dont want to

Also if you can eat soup, ive found that making chicken soup has been an incredible way for me to try new vegetables. you can't really taste any of them (i know i know, but with a large pot i really do not taste it at all because everything tastes like the savory broth), but i think that there's enough slight vegetable taste that i'm very slowly building my resistance to it. and the texture of all the vegetables iz the same (very soft & unnoticeable) because of how long it cooks, so you dont have to deal with texture issues, and if you cut it up small then you don't notice it at all

Speak now my autism warriors

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

So for once, nothing angsty, but something more fluffy! ANd its based on food!

So I think, if I remember right anyway, canon Alastor does not like fast food or like food similar to it, and that kind of implies to Radio Guard Alastor too. To a degree tho. He very much would rather cook than have take-out, but also he is not complaining if you wanna give him the egg and spring rolls from the Chinese takeout. It is mainly when he super tired though or had an exhausting day and just has no energy to cook for the gang, since I imagine he may have took over the cooking duties of the hotel.

And now for everyone's favorite types of foods and or flavors of stuff! Alastor-Def prefers more homecooked meals, doesn't matter what, if its homecooked, he will probably enjoy. Does however lean more towards spicy stuff. Man loves spicy dishes, be it a painful spice or a comforting one. Def knows all types of Louisiana cooking and is so happy to share them to others.

Charlie-More on the sweeter side of things. Probably has a love of homecooked food too, mainly like breakfast foods I imagine. But probably also likes fruity stuff too (haha get it because she's the daughter of the Morningstar aka the Devil, the one responsible for Adam and Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit //bonked). Probably loves more baked good spices too? So like cinnamon apple stuff would be her favs

Vaggie-Spice and bitter girlie I imagine personally. She will take her coffee black with a spot of cream or milk while chomping on ghost pepper dusted chips like it was nothing. Can also, for some reason, see Vaggie was a soup girlie. Idk, she gives soup girl vibes. Probably loves spicy veggie soups that just warm you up. Ignoring the fact they are in hell and hell is probably already super hot.

Angel Dust-Def ate like junkie munchie foods. Like cheap, really gross and greasy food. Didn't like it, but it hit the spot. If not that, then super healthier, lean foods, since lets be honest, Valentino would his workers on extreme health diets so they would stay "pretty", so the whiplash of foods probs wrecked Angel's stomach. Now, while trying to go sober and in a safer and healthier environment, Angel def enjoys trying to cook Italian food he remembers his pa or ma making. Would like baking more me thinks

Husk-Bar food. Husk is like Angel, he is eating junkie bar food to use the grease to curve his later hangover. Maybe not as much anymore, but its still there. Alastor does get on him, now more so in a place of concern for Husk's well being. Honestly probs better just making drinks but I can see Husk knowing how to work the kitchen too. Def the type to go to if you have the late night munchies since he knows how to make the most killer late night meals

Nifty-Sugar. Just. Pure. Sugar. She is the type to dump marshmallow fluff on a pizza its that insane. She knows how to cook, sure! And she can cook well with others, yes! Alone in the kitchen? Haha no. Your food is gonna somehow end up in lime jello and taste like you liked the bottom of Willy Wonka's boot. Just dont.

Sir Pentious-Probably doesnt really mind anything. As a snack he def has a more meat based diet which took some time to get used too. Probably likes more mild to bitter foods than anything else. Like the Brit he is, he is def drinking tea with everything. Probs also likes egg based dishes since some snakes do eat eggs. Probably mainly bird eggs, like quill or chicken. So egg bois are safe!

Lucifer-Dont think Luci has a pref. For a good long while it was just whatever he could find in the kitchen after staying locked up in his workshop for days on end. So bowls of dry cereal or pb&js to name a few. It took being forced out of his workshop by Alastor (and seeking therapy by Alastor and Charlie's request yeas later) that Lucifer started to eat more. Like his daughter he loves fruity sweets, and as a given likes pancakes. Probs makes killer cinnamon apple pancakes.

Vox-Probs cheating to say Alastor's cooking, but it is Alastor's cooking. Def has more of a spice tolerance than other Voxs hfdsjkf. Outside of that, probably any more homey foods. Or cheaper stuff like ramen since he never wanted to leave his room at V Towers. Def survived on energy drinks that tasted horribly sweet but kept him going at the tower too. You can imagine his utter joy when at the hotel when he just got to eat proper cooked food again, especially Alastor's

-⚔️ anon

Cinnamon apple for Charlie makes so much sense, she'd probably have begged to get that one cereal that claimed to be cinnamon apple but was kinda mid

All of this feels so incredibly canon and accurate, your MIND

[the-s1lly-corner]

Itward x sick!reader

I'm sure I've already written something like this before, but you know what? We writing it again!! Except its hyper specific to me and admin feels it's time to feed the itward fans again even if my FB rot hasn't exactly returned... idk we'll see, I wanna redraw my human palontras design and sometimes my rots come back when I draw characters

Hes dealt with sick kids before, he knows every trick in the book! And it just so happens one of his go to tricks is....!

Bed rest

Sure technically you can be cured in an instant with the pink water but for the sake of this post let's say you two currently don't have access to it, perhaps you were traveling with itward in his flying ship across the realities and his stock of the water has run dry

Makes the best soup, tends to default to chicken soup but if you have a preference he doesnt mind trying a new recipe for you!

Very firm on you staying in bed, he checks in on you frequently to see if you need anything

Keeps things by the bed for you to do if you cant rest and need to stimulate your brain.. if you can, depending on how sick you are

Cross word puzzles, word searches, books.. things like that!

Having a self flying machine makes keeping up with you easy, too!

He keeps you hydrated, making sure you never go without a water for even a few minutes; he makes sure you have constant access for whenever you need a drink

Are you cold? He'll give you an extra blanket, or might even let you snuggle into his overcoat..

Too hot? Hes getting a damp rag and placing it on your forehead

The perk of being a skeleton from senersedee.. the literal reality of death.. it's not likely that he'll get sick from you!

Though that does give me an idea for a separate post..

If it comes down to it he will land the ship if the rocking of it makes you feel too nauseous, he also uses it as an opportunity to stock up on things that are needed.. both for you and in general

Hes never gone for long, he doesnt want to leave you alone longer than he has to

[monkiebois]

I bet if ever the kids get sick, which I suppose wouldn't happen too often, either Wukong would be the panicking "OMG my poor babey" or the totally chill parent while Macaque panics

oooooh boi i had fun with this one.

Hehe so lets take a look at the parents

one is a seven times over immortal who's only family in EONS has been an immortal god. he might have been a scholar at one time but in modern days she has NO IDE what kind of new diseases or treatments there are, now she could look it all up but that would send her into a 5am spiral down google.

"NEZHA HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT-" "FATHER PLEASE ITS 5AM YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT EVERY OBSCURE AND RARE ILLNESS GOOGLE SHOWS YOU"

Meanwhile, there's Macaque, he is immortal yeah, I also hc when he was on Ffm he helped take care of the young ones but those were all either monkey DEMONS or regular monkeys.

Ofc bc of this he knows how to take care of bb Mk best and why he wants to be his babysitter so badly in the beginning. (look he needs something to do other than plotting revenge. he needs a fucking life and someone other than his ex-(turned partner again) in his life)

then again just like wukong he has no idea what new ailments or diseases have sprouted in the time hes been dead and alive again. he's more aware then wukong is but still, he has no clue if what the kids got is either a common cold, a stomach bug, or something that will end up killing the kids (it wont)

Nezha is immortal but not as immortal as wukong

Mei is mortal-but does live longer bc of the whole dragon thing (she might be immortal bc of the samadhi fire but i have no clue)

Mk is also a mortal(?????) no one actually knows bc of the whole "swk's powers" thing. so its like is he????? did he get ur immortalities or wat????

but because of this Macaque and wukong basically have the same reaction.

they freeze up, they panic for a moment. wukong emmedialty fears the worst and macaque just has no fucking clue what to do, even with mk he just doesnt know what to do. Macaque wants to help but what if he does something wrong? what if he makes it worse? what if he hurts them? what if he makes the little one cry? what ifwhatifwhatifwhatif.

ofc nezha is always there to snap those two out of it, even if hes sick. he'll throw a pillow at them and tell them to snap the fuck out of it. then the younger ones start throwing pillows too and suddenly it's a pillow fight and ohmygod their all idiots/ pos.

sooo yea macaque and wukong panic for a moment but once they snap out of it they do the normal sick stuff but one rule nezha has set in place "do not under any circumstances google it unless i tell you and I swear to the gods if you so much as think about using bing instead"

when Mk and mei were young and wukong and macaque were new to this whole thing they would take the kids to the doctor every time despite nezha insisting its nothing serious and that they just need something to eat, some warm blankets and some rest.

after nezha was proven right time and time again they listened to him finnaly and now they only go if nezha deems it necessary.

after the intitial panic though wukong SPOILS THEM. she will give them anything and everything they need and desire. she will faun over them and make sure they want for nothing while sick, sometimes macaque and nezha needs to stop wukong from getting/making something obscure bc one of the kids in there feverish state requested it.

i cannot tell you how many plushies mei has collected because she was sick and wukong jumped on his nimbus and came back with three in hand and a big smile on her face.

Mac is the more calm one after the panic, hes in the kitchen making something for them to eat (because if wukong tries to put candy or random fruit in the chicken noodle soup at mk/meis request again he will be the sick one) hes doing the laundry with the sick kids clothes, he's taking their temperature. (because wukong will not understand how it works) wukong is the emotional support and macaque is the one who gets the kids what they need while nezha guides the two. please he might be the older brother but they're the parents here.

Mk usually needs someone to snuggle with when he's sick, he doesn't like being alone when he's sick so one of them, usually mei. will snuggle up with him and hold him. even when he's older he grabs one of them and drags them to bed.

Mei is actually the one who got sick the most, and its because of the samadhi fire ring inside of her. its not so much sick as it is a form of heat stroke. of course its not as fatal to her but when she was young, even with a seal over the ring that wukong placed after the fire her little and young body couldnt control the heat of the ring and she would heat up much more then the average dragon. she was burning hot to the touch, wukong and nezha were the only ones able to touch her because she would get too hot. this was one of the only times wukong wouldn't panic because he knows the cause and how to treat it. they basically run a bath of cold water and they cast some ice spells. not normal ice that would melt immediately. so instead they keep filling the tub with magic ice, don't give her anything hot to eat and she'll be fine within the day. when mei gets older (24) these heat strokes slow down more and more and now that mei constantly uses her fire to beat up bad guys the excess magic buildup that caused the strokes no longer happen. She's barely gotten another stroke like that in the past seven years, it's only happened like three times.

Nezha....you'd think because he has the braincell he'd take care of himself better "I'm fine" "I'm fine "I have things to do, paperwork to finish" "(some random god) requested a meeting and I have to-"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

"go to bed"

If it was up to nezha he would be efficient during his sick time but nooooo, the only way to get him to fuckin relax is to throw his little siblings at him, they pull some puppy dog eyes shit and then hold him and they all fall asleep together.

one thing that happens all the time after a sick day is that everyone crawls into the same bed with the sick one in the middle and they fall asleep in one big cuddle pile.

[onlyplatonicirl]

i the headcANON am greately pleased by your last correspondence with the council, as such like a magpie we are leaving shiny trinkets within your inbox, but nay these are not pennies or stolen rings, they are things we completely and totally made up! todays galavant into the realm of our collective soup of a mind is the one and only blorbo, our poor little meow meow, our Beko LSP3671DW Tall Fridge - White, our soggiest webkinz whom we like throw against the wall to hear the sound of its milk-drenched body 'thwap' against the wall... gradient <3

for some ungodly reason this little shit means the world to me, i have had such a dedicated connection to this asshole since about 2016 thats its boderline religious at this point, oh also have whilst we're at it, i'll throw in some general gracey headcanons too

really lives video games, probably because its what he spends almost all of his time doing, id imagine his favourite games would be somewhat grounded life-sims (games like stardew valley or minecraft), if you are a monster who knows literal gods and has technology which can teleport you at the tips of your fingers, the fantasy and sci-fi genre probably doesnt appeal to you all that much, its just everyday life

however, he also canonically likes shooters, and imo his favourite is splatoon because funny little squid people

loves anime and manga, probably really likes chainsaw man, neon genesis evangelion, and serial experiments lain

watched nge for the first time, saw rei and fell to his knees screaming she me, shes literally me

has slowly been getting casey into anime and manga, originally didnt want to because thats 'weeb shit innit?' but he watched chainsaw man and fell in love

so under a rock its not even funny, he doesnt know anyone outside of his family or some of the high-ranking council members. paperjam will off-handedly mention a popular celebrity in the omega timeline and he will have absolutely zero clue who that is. he probably knows more about human celebrities from earth, mainly footabllers - casey's doing obviously

has a neutral accent, by that i mean, he does not sound as though he is from anywhere, his voice is flat and montone (a combination of living in the middle of nowhere and autism lol) with no vocal fry or twang to speak of, however since living with casey he has begun picking up british slang and an ever so slight brummie accent

i dont know why but i get the impression his room isnt actually all that big, longer than it is wider, ink wouldve given him a bigger room but he asked for a smaller one because wide spaces make him anxious

gender? i hardly know her. refuses to elaborate on what his gender is, just tells a joke every time hes asked. additionally, i dont think he cares what pronouns people use for him. hes whatever gender makes the bit the funniest. when casey asked, he replied whatever gender liking me makes you gay as hell

when casey told him about how he pieced together his laptop from scrapped and stolen parts he became fascinated with it and began helping him upgrade it. now they own a pc which is top of the range but looks like the aftermath of a shrapnel bomb, gradient considers it his pride and joy

has errors lack of taste and willingness to eat anything, combined with inks general lack of taste and culinary knowledge. bro is eating packet noodles and chicken nuggets every day. casey once tried to cook breakfast, he made scrambled eggs but completely charred the eggs and he ate it anyways because it was a nice gesture. i think he can actually cook quite well though, he just cant be arsed too and the microwave is so much less effort

simultaneously think he has a really high tolerance for alcohol, if not just completely unaffected by him, or he has zero tolerance whatsoever

really interested in humans and their biology and anatomy. likes to go up to casey and squeeze his nose or poke his cheeks. has once, when watching a movie with him, spent about ten minutes just playing with his arm and wrist just watching and feeling the skin stretch and squish over his radius and ulna

secretly studies anatomy using casey

i like to imagine he is a genetic freak, sure gaster got the majority of his dna from ink and error, but he had to improvise certain parts, and others he simply added to really make his bioweapon pop yknow? he has retractable fangs and his teeth and eyes glow in the dark. hes like an alternate, his body doesnt work like how its supposed to, in cases this means he is flexible, too flexible, his jaw can extend further than it should, but in others it means his body craps out and is really susceptible to certain things like carpal tunnel syndrome or some form of skeleton-monster-thing chronic illness

cannot stand his reflection because he looks like error, none of the bathrooms on the floor his bedroom is on have mirrors, they did at one point but after having punched one in panic ink got rid of them all. this only became worse after the tERROR incident

really needs to see a therapist, he hates relying on casey because he feels as though hes putting all of his problems on him. goes through moods where he doesnt tell casey any of his worries and puts on a pretend happy front, whilst they dont argue a lot this is usually when they do argue because casey doesnt like gradient keeping his feelings secret, and bottling up his feelings only ends up making gradient stressed and snappy

okay so i know we usually play armchair psycologist and just claim every one in the undertale extended universe is autistic, but i need you to hear me out on this one, this little fucker is so unbelievably autistic its insane, error and by extension any glitched weirdo is already so autismcoded, generally cant stand touch/intimacy, like to be alone, difficulties expressing emotions especially empathy, flat affect or displaying inappropriate responses or facial expressions, but on top of all that hes also got a limited group of friends (especially in tcoti lmaoo) and interests, acts somewhat childish despite his age, and is a complete and total shut-in. yes these things could be explained away by other things such as him having anxiety about leaving the house due to incidents but the way he goes on about it is so incredibly relatable to me, someone with autism, he cannot simply just avoid certain situations, no he has to completely and totally avoid any and all social interaction he cant control and script beforehand, which in and of itself is black and white thinking

also gracey is literally just autism x adhd

despite literally being together they both call each other gay like school kids, one will go in for a hug and the other calls them gaylord. to combat this they started preemptively saying 'no homo'

would absolutely get married for the bit

- headcANON, i feel like i have more to say, but everyt thought has left our brain

I AM EATING SO WELL RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE IVE JUST BEEN GIVEN A FIVE COURSE MEAL

Gradient is literally my soggy bread I left in the sink after being done with my breakfast. I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THEM!!

- You’re so right abt the video games thing. Also he does like shooters a lot because of how much concentration it takes - they’re very engaging to him. Plus getting on voice calls with strangers is nice, especially if they have no idea who he is. It’s nice to laugh with other people.

- definitely likes anime, definitely is converting Casey. He thinks Casey’s sitcoms are dumb but watches them anyways because he likes how much his friend likes them.

- He is absolutely under a rock and keeps up with nothing. He may be terminally online but he does not keep up with the news of the Omega Timeline at all. He knows a decent amount of the higher-ranking council because he’s met a lot of them in person, and he used to go their for schooling, but he doesn’t like most of them. For obvious reasons.

- if I had to voice claim Gray I’d say something close to Leonardo from TMNT Mutant Mayhem. But without the New York accent.

- his room is large for a bedroom but still pretty condensed.

- (to me personally) he is like. A Boy but in the most nonbinary way possible.

- He’s pretty good with technology, but Casey managed to completely blow his mind. This kid was pulling apart a shitty laptop and putting it back together to get it to run. If they built a PC together it would be 100% function and 0% form.

- don’t tell me he wouldn’t spend like 20 minutes just staring at Casey’s ears.

- He is 100% a genetic little freak of nature and I love all of those headcanons. You did mention Gaster though, which I thought was interesting - Gradient’s canon story is “he was created by a bored Gaster in the void because combo funny heehee”. But seeing as I have removed all of the fourth wall breaking aspects as well as emphasized that Gradient was originally built to be a bioweapon, most of his backstory has changed, including his creator. Gradient’s creation, why he was created, and by whom is a very important part of the story that I am telling :)

- He has a mirror in his bathroom but he doesn’t look at it unless he has to. He did crack it once in the aftermath of a massive panic attack, but Ink was able to fix it. Gradient doesn’t like looking at himself but sometimes he needs to if he’s doing hygiene things.

- I don’t think there’s ever been anyone that needs to see a therapist more than Gradient and Casey

- Autism

- you are probably on my discord server because there was a massive conversation about how they would absolutely get married and just make it the most insufferable and worst wedding ever known to man (on purpose)

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Mikey is now at Brian’s loft: ‘mike, fix the mess you made. Poor Bri Bri, he looks so bad (he now paused the episode to laugh at Brian’s Chernobyl line. He is so easily impressed with Brian) mike..i doubt he will ever eat chicken soup, he barely eats. FOR FUCKS SAKE BRIAN STOP BEING A BITCH AND ACCEPT SOME HELP. *lets out an actual gasp* IS MIKEY GONNA STAND UP FOR JUSTIN?! TELL HIM MIKE! YES HE IS HIS LOVER! YES! FINALLY MIKE, THAT WAS A SHITTY WAY TO TREAT HIM! I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.’ Brian says Justin wouldve left anyway ‘what the fuck? Says who? He wouldnt leave you! I cant decide if this is his anger over cancer or what but dudeeeeee stop it! Go back to Justin, if not for you, do it for me’ And we are at Drew’s party ‘im sorry what did he just say? What a piece of shit. Spit in his food. Oooor talk to him..i guess that’s more mature. Yeah, tell this little bitch that he’s a little bitch!’ ‘Im sorry but i just doubt that Lindsay would miss these classes! I mean come on she was all insane over being a mom in the beginning? What is this bullshit? Its giving straight men vibe, you know what I mean?’ And we are at Mikey and Justins scene ‘COME ON BLONDIE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO TO OUR MAN! There is no way he’d just let him go like that when Brian is sick. This is bullshit. MIKE DO SOMETHING. (Justin says brian being sick doesnt concern him anymore and he pauses tv) what the fuck is this bullshit?! Nah. Maybe if something horrible happened, id get this. Id even get this during the *makes a grossed out face* ethan era but now? Fuck no. Our boyfriend has cancer and he’s just chill? After he cried and held him the way he did?! Who the fuck wrote this shit? *clicks play* TELL HIM MIKE! fucks sake Justin! Use your big brain! Exactly Mike! GO TO HIM JUSTIN, OH COME ON!!!’ And we are at lindsay and sam scene ‘oh for fucks sake. What is this bullshit and why do I have to suffer it? My baby Bri Bri is sick, my baby Blondie is being stubborn and not listening to me and they think I care about whatever this is.’ He just fake gagged and made a grossed out face to sam and lindsay hugging. And we are at Ben/Mike scene ‘you know what? I never thought id say this but Mike deserves better. He’s been so supportive of Ben and even kept quiet about his own success only for this dick to be a dick to him. I now like mike so he deserves better.’ And we are at Drew/Em scene!! ‘Ugh him again. Fuck you dude bro. Emmett be careful! Something is off about this guy. (Drew makes a move on Emmett) um..what is going on? THIS IS WHAT THAT JUSTIN AND BRIAN FIGHT SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! Wait..what the fuck dude? I thought he was straight? Okay get it em..i think’ and back to Ben and his student ‘i dont like this shit. What the fuck is this shit? Why is everyone acting so fucking weird and stupid?’ ‘BRIAN! You’re supposed to be resting. He looks like shit. Bri, go home please and call Justin. *he giggled like a little kid* i like how Ted and I both call him Bri. Yes, go home and call JUSTIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! (Brian walks in his loft to Justin cooking) JUSTIN! BLONDIE IS HERE!!! HE MADE HIM SOUP! Brian stop being a bitch! YES BLONDIE TELL HIM. (justin snapped at Brian) OH MY GOD! TELL HIM BABY! YOU GO GIRL! EXACTLY HE CANT HANDLE THIS ON HIS OWN! YOU GO BABY! YEAH BRIAN WHY WOULD YOU THINK HED LEAVE! Babies, before this goes bad, how about none of us leave? *stands up and literally puts his hands in the air and claps* YES GET YOUR ASS BACK IN BED AND EAT CHICKEN SOUP! I guess he will eat soup. HA! Remember when Debbie said he met his match?’ He then paused on Britin in bed at the end and walked to the tv and pointed at it while looking at me and went ‘THIS! THIS IS ALL I WANT! Is that too much to ask for? Now give me the next episode!’

I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.

Forever is a long long time, I’m curious how he’s going to react to S5 Mikey…

Lindsay would absolutely not miss the birthing classes. That was so out of character. CowLip really did not care what they did with their lesbian representation.

Ben is such a shit in this whole storyline. Michael has the bad luck to be with men who seemingly like him partially because his career is less impressive than their (Dr. David I’m looking at you.) Toxic masculinity, you even infect the queer men.

Okay his entire reaction to the chicken soup line (YOU GO GIRL) just made my night.

Brian did meet his match in Justin. That’s why they are OTP.

[youngpettyqueen]

Also since I didn't send one last time, anything about it's not chicken soup, but it's good for the soul!

YES I love a double ask I love it so much and I love to think about this particular fic

ok I wanna ramble about a particular sequence in relation to my particular writing style-

"“If you don’t kiss my forehead before you leave,” Hawkeye says, seriously, “Then I’m going to have a fit.”

Trapper snorts, raising a brow at him. “That right?” He asks. Hawkeye nods, still with that oh-so-serious look on his face, so he just smiles and pushes his hair aside again, “Alright, c’mere…”

He leans down and drops the requested kiss onto Hawkeye’s forehead. Then, for good measure, he also drops one on the bridge of his nose. He pulls away and hovers for a moment, savouring the sight of Hawkeye’s giddy little smile.

Cute. He thinks, again.

“Alright, I really gotta go,” Trapper says, even though he takes a quick second to press one last kiss in the space between Hawkeye’s brows. When he pulls back this time he gets up, collects the bowl, and turns to Hawkeye to tell him, “Send Radar my way if ya need anything. I’ll be back with your lunch in a few hours.”"

so a fun fact about me is that I am a romance writer (I am actively working on a romance novel which is on its third draft) and this fic was a fun exercise in writing domestic fluffy romance which is not my usual type of romance writing! I usually only write domestic fluffy romance with like, DND and writing stuff with mine and my friend's characters, so doing this in fanfic is overall fairly new to me. this particular exchange between these two was one of the main points of writing this fic- as ive said with this one it was written to make me feel better while I was absolutely miserable with covid, and few things cheer me up quite like straight up FLUFF

Hawkeye and Trapper really suit this fluffy domesticity for me because I dont read either of them as being particularly repressed. Hawkeye cant hide his feelings to save his life and Trapper really doesnt seem to ever try to hide how he feels. as a result these two are easy to write being fairly open (as open as the time and place will allow, at least) and very domestic and, well, cute. of course Trapper's gonna give him a kiss on the forehead, and then, even though he doesnt have to, he's gonna give him a couple more. and of course Hawkeye's not gonna hesitate to ask! theyre open with each other, theyre comfortable with each other- this is all canon, its just easy and convenient for me to use that in my Piercentyre agenda ksdjskjdha

speaking as someone who doesnt write straight up fluff very often, this was a very fun exercise in it. it flowed really naturally, it makes me want to write more of it, and it let me practice a style I admittedly dont practice as often. I definitely want to write more things like this, things that are sickly sweet and fluffy, and im definitely hoping to do more of it with Piercentyre specifically. writing them has reallyyyyyyy grown on me, I always liked them as a pairing but after rewatching the early seasons ive fallen even more in love with them

all this said the WIP I have for them currently is very much not all sweet domestic fluff and does in fact involve quite a bit of angst but honestly I might shove some sweet tooth-rotting fluff in there cause its just so damn fun to write. who knows, not me, I dont even have an outline for the damn thing fskjdfhskj

[cloudcountry]

isaacs second letter!!! HTERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE JHAFSDJAHSFDHAGSFDHAGS

convalescence?? darling...........what the fuck

him liking mc's cooking is so cute!!!! thats so wholesome and domestic it makes me want to cry a little JAGFSDHGAS I WOULD MAK EHIM CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP <33333333333333333333

gah that dream made me so angry i hate those students and everything they said to him >:T IT WAS SO UNCALELD FOR!!! LIKE YE SPHYSICS IS HARD BUT LEAVE YOUR PROFESSOR ALONE?? ALL ISAAC WANTS TO DO IS SHARE HIS PASSION WITH THE WORLD BUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU STOP HIM FROM DOING THAT but anyways. i can hold yoru ahnd and cuddle you and talk you through nightmares if you ever need it :(( just let me know and i will make you tea <33

WHY WOULD I LEAVE. WHY THE HELL WOULD I LEAVE????? you asked me not to. you asked me to stay so obviously i did. also im the master of nagging so guess WHAT you are stuck with ME!!! deal with iT!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE PART THAT KILLED ME. ONLY FRIENDS?? A SHAR P ACHE??? ISAAC :((( GAHHHHHHH ITS SO SWEET AND SO HEARTWRENCHING HOW UNSURE HE IS?? AND YET HE SAY WITH CONFIDENCE THAT HE WANTS THE MC TO SAY THAT NO THEY ARENT JUST FRIENDS

...and he doesnt even understand why :C

i amg oing to cry myself to sleep now bye

[likemesomesalads]

uncommon oc questions - all pair ones for my chicken nugget, spicy wings, chicken soup for the soul luca, all impair ones for shay my man shay, and all multiples of 5 for sherry my girlfriend sherry -fingerguns- destroying your blog's layout one ask at a time

U make me ork for it huh gsklghlskjh also putting it under the cut

Luca:

2: How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Depending on the person trying to make him laugh it's either insanely easy or incredibly hard. no in-between.

4:How easy is it to earn their trust?

Hard. He's haughty and in a position where using him would greatly benefit others so he's quite cautious.

6:Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Laws are... for the betterment of the people...he's maybe..an exception..because he's: a god's herald, a military leader, a very powerful being, and a haughty little bitch.

8: What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Stop: playing around and do silly things with his frineds. Start: getting serious about his training. AND DO BETTER. every time, do better.

10:What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

"I'm fine, everything is going great. Of course I enjoy the responsibilities trusted upon me" He still tells those lies.

12:How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

He asks Hugo (his bird companion) to help with it.

14:What animal do they fear most?

Balthazar's roast doggies.

16:What makes their stomach turn?

In a disgust way: probably whatever you can find in a sewer. As in a way of fear...Fire. he's really afraid of fire.

18:What embarrasses them?

Being found in an indignifying state. (like bring drunk or high as a kite)

20:If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

"Romantic love is wanting or rather NEEDING to spend every minute of a day with a person, platonic love is enjoying a persons company without having a need for them nearby constantly and familial love is what one may feel for their parents."

22:How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

Oh he's definitely getting posessive. He'd often use his wings to protect the object of his jealousy (his partner most often) or to shut out the unwanted looks towards him from the one he's jelous at.

24: Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

He's. A whore. And the whole court knows that.

26:What is their preferred mode of transportation? 

Flying. hy need anything else if u got wings?

28: Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

To recieve? no. To give? yes.

30: Who do they most regret meeting?

Balthazar tops the list then joko then caudecus...no wait..Kormir actually. He would've been fine if she doesnt tell him the truth. He would ahve been okay not knowing he was a sacrificial lamb and not even a good one.

32: Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Not really. Most people know about all te things he did that he'd find worth mentioning.

34:How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

HA....impossible. everythin always is his fault : )

36:Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

He's seeking fuckbuddies, one night stands...he doesnt really believe he could find love with how hectic his life is so it jsut happens when it does and it surprises him so fucking much.

38:What memory do they revisit the most often?

Usually the time when he got cut in four or one of the many times his gramps cut his feathers short...not good ones.

40:How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

He sees only flaws so... very? he's not gonna admit it though.

42:How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

He has no end goal. Just die when all is done, probably.

Shay:

1: What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Maybe 2 minutes. Tops. He gets bouncy legs while doing paperwork

3:How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

....Fucking his husband until he cant no more.

5: How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

He's very open minded and gives second chances to everyone...but if u fuck up ur second chance ur gone (unless u r Mozz. Mozz gets unlimited chances because he looks cute when he bats his lashes)

7:What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Risen...talk abourt risen or zhaitan times or finding a body of one or....u get it.

9:Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

He does. He's really creative with it too. It was Fuck this shit!

11:How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

"HUH?"

13:What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Red and green..I mean...he is red and green....

15:How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

He neever thinks jsut says whats in his mind. He's brawn not brain. he speaks quite fast and with uhh...idk a pirate accent? he spent most of his life in lion's arch soo...

17:Are they easily embarrassed?

Nope. Unless...Mozz. Mozz knowss what to tell him to embarrass him.

19:What is their favorite number?

4.

21:Why do they get up in the morning? 

To see his hubby uwu. and to fuck him.

23:How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? 

He becomes very grumpy and quiet.

25: What are their thoughts on marriage?

Yes. he's married.

27: What causes them to feel dread? 

...RIsen..talk about his past...talk about the times he went berserk from anger..he hates that.

29: Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

Well..he aint Trahearne...

31:Who are they the most glad to have met?

His hubby, Mozz. Thanks a bunch Velazquez.

33:Could they be considered lazy? 

No, not usually. He's quite the busybee actually.

35: How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

He's supersupportive unless it's murder...Murder is illegal and he's not on board with it.

37:Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? 

It either sticks or he's gonna ask you like 6 times.

39:How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Easy. He leads a group of ex-courtiers and misfits...he has a spft dpot for flawed individuals.

41:How do they feel about children?

They are cute but thank the pale tree he's a plant and gay.

43:If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

Gay, men, MENNNNN. SPECIFICALLY this one *Will Smith pose at Mozz*

Sherry:

5:How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Very. U look bad at her ay and u r no longer trusted.

10:What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

"I son't have a crush. I jsut think he's hot."

15:How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

A bit posh and high class in public. the most potty mouth in private. She says whats on her mind and if she doesnt u can tell by looking at her. U cant rehearse the perfect comeback babe.

20:If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

"romantic is when you dont just wanna fuck, platonic when you dont even wanna fuck and familial is..well that's given isn't it?"

25: What are their thoughts on marriage?

Mayhaps, in the future...Depends on the aprtner too.

30: Who do they most regret meeting?

Dio...

35: How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

She's supportive until it doesn't blow down to almost killing them...

40:How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

SHe's perfect. she has no flaws. what did u say? too short? i give you too short.

[gaysonlyocean]

NO PROBLEM!! im happy to share around my sillies! speaking of sillies heres one rn whats everyone favorite food and least favorite? -silly

oh yippee more sillies!!

adam discovers very quickly on the roadtrip of doom that his favourite food is mcdonalds fries KJHGFGHJKL and anything that sticks to his teeth is his least favourite

sarah has likes things like sour patch kids the most, but she hates the taste of buttercream frosting so most cakes she doesnt like

jonahs favourite food is actually his mums lasagne recipe, he hasnt had it in Years but its still his favourite even if he knows she just it out of a recipe book she got, his least favourite is anything his dad makes

evelin loves this broccoli and leek soup she learnt to make years ago in her hospitality class, its a comfort food for her! and anything sticky she doesnt like, she hates textures on her hands

thatchers favourite food is coffee /j no his actual favourite is this very specific bagel sandwich hed make himself to take into work, he hasnt made it in years but he still has the exact order of how to put it together memorised, and he hates banana flavoured things just cause he can Always tell when its just fake banana flavouring

dave is also someone with a very particular sandwich, his regular bread though and its a hot chicken sandwich in which he roasts the chicken first!! his least favourite food is any soup at all KJHGFDFGHJKL