#he is THE saddest wettest creature

[emeraldotter]

Having a good time with the new Zelda game. Anyways, here's Majora's Mask fanart.

[mobbothetrue]

Thinking about literally anything else < thinking about my baldurs gate 3 tav for extended periods of time

[swordwife]

I like his big puppy dog eyes. mans really said 🥺

[sezja]

Khaidai: Into Eorzea I wander, a tiger among sheep. Little do they suspect the strength or power of the beast walking their streets; never do they doubt their safety, all unknowing of the danger passing all too close to their-

Lalafellin child: Hello!

Khaidai: /high-pitched SCREECH of terror

[thelampisaflashlight]

Some ghoul headcanons, because it was rainy and cold today and I had too much time to think. Let's go.

-Dew has stomach issues, and has to watch what he eats or else he can make himself sick, but sometimes he's really stubborn about wanting to eat something he shouldn't, and that usually results in a trip to the infirmary.

The list of what Dew can't eat is an ever expanding one, and while there's nothing on there that could actually kill him, there are some things that just aren't worth the tears; The infirmary staff's nor Dew's.

The biggest culprit of Dew's late night trips to the infirmary though, and the number one, "Dew, you REALLY shouldn't eat this-" food is cheese, or anything dairy related really, because it upsets his stomach worse than even some spicy foods, but the problem is; He loves it.

It's very hard for anyone to deny him cheese though, because the last time Swiss made burgers for everyone, he put cheese on everyone's except for his and Dew got the saddest, wettest look in his eyes about it.

Hell, Swiss almost cried, too.

Dew would like to think it was worth being constipated, really.

-There's a ghoul that lives somewhere on the abbey's grounds that no one can place the origins or name of, but no one has ever fully seen them, and any pictures taken of them come out... wrong.

It often lurks behind pillars, just out of view in doorways, and peeking out through gaps in stairwells.

Oftentimes, those who do view the creature fall ill not long afterwards, and not just the human members of the clergy, the ghouls become sick, too.

No one is sure why this happens, if the ghoul is actually to blame for it, or if the ghoul is really a ghoul but one thing remains certain; Seeing an almost indistinguishable beast out of the corner of your eye is scary as Hell, and no one wants to think about what would happen if it ever caught up to someone.

And lastly;

-When a ghoul is summoned/created, their magic is deliberately capped in order to prevent them from using it to do harm, the exception to this is quintessence, which is why these ghouls are so rare; The church can't contain their magic, and that means they're a threat, friendly or not, but no one has found a way to lock down their magic, because every time they try, the ghoul they're testing it on is just so... persuasive.

Really though, they're harmless, there's no need for such unnecessary precautions and... Yeahhh.

The ghouls are using their magic to prevent losing their magic.

[cj-valentine]

He's the saddest wettest creature left on the side of the road in a cardboard box. He's utterly pathetic. He's the littlest of meow meows. He hasn't showered in half a year. Giving him a compliment would make him desintegrate. He is God's weakest soldier. You kind of want to pick him up and punt him just to see how far he would fly. I didn't say his name but he popped into your head, didn't he?

[verymuchsoyes]

Upon rewatching, it's clear that RayV is the saddest, wettest creature, but he doesn't behave in that pathetic way Fraser and RayK do, so his suffering gets overlooked

[spineless-lobster]

Are you guys ready to see the saddest, wettest, most pathetic creature you have ever laid your eyes upon?

Here he is!!! I originally tried to draw him with a tired face but that somehow ended up looking like this sooooo…???

Bonus original sketch:

[sexygaywizard]

I think your Disco Elysium era is the best yet lol

I open up ur blog and read it like my morning newspaper and there’s just gods most pathetic creature for seven consecutive posts /lh

I WILL NOT BE SO ANNOYING ABOUT HIM AFTER THE POLL IS OVER I PROMMY but he is literally such a fucking sad wet pathetic loser come on. He needs one win. And that one win is to be declared the saddest wettest most pathetic loser

[nanite-city]

Thoughts on Floyd?

he is uhhhhh little uwu man. gay boy. sensitive creature. the saddest wettest little bug. only the perfect family harmony can save his ass

[smolghostbot]

OC Intros: Patchwork Melody

(Remaking this since the OG post was really only accurate for their first meeting and I've had a lot of fun expanding their relationship beyond that point. Also the OG formatting sucked sorry I'm bad at this)

Patch (They/He/Any but It) is an extremely anxious, mute borrower, (by trade, not species) with the saddest wettest backstory possible, to maybe be told later. Their story starts when they find themself being "aided" (captured) by a human who thinks of them as the poorest, cutest little creature in need of a guardian. Since they can't vocalize, and their writing system is radically different from the one used by humans, communication is a problem. Over time, they begin to work through their trauma around humans, helped as their relationship with this newest human changes over the course of a few years, from captor to friend to partner.

Patch isn't their real name, but it's a nickname given to them since they can't exactly say their real one. Their true name is something of the big mystery of the story.

Melody, aka Mel (She/They) is a huge fan of the supernatural and paranormal who stumbles upon a weak and fearful little fae-looking creature one morning, and takes it upon herself to be their caretaker and guardian. Her sometimes off-putting and overbearing personality makes the start of this newfound friendship a bit strained. Over time, Melody takes a massive level in kindness as she learns to respect her new friend's boundaries, and starts to appreciate Patch as a person rather than a spectacle.

Five Fun Facts about each of them:

Patch:

They're allergic to citrus fruits but don't understand allergies (Doesn't everybody think oranges are spicy?)

Their favorite foods are strawberries and chocolate. Discovering Neapolitan ice cream was basically the highlight of their life.

Totally normal about television (It lets them see so much of the world… they've only ever lived within like three city blocks). Easily the best way to get their mind off things is to set them in front of a nature documentary.

Their backpack and scarf were gifts from their parents, and are their most prized possessions because of that. The backpack is actually made of denim, so it's (relatively) extremely durable.

Actually a skilled poet and wordsmith… not that it's readable to humans. Their specialty is a form of poem similar to a haiku that has the same number of characters on every line.

Melody:

The red eyes and iridescent hair are (obviously) contacts and dye, her natural eye color is a hazel and her hair is a very light brown. Seeing her without contacts confused the hell out of Patch the first time.

One of those kids who went hard for Halloween as a kid, they dressed as various fictional wizards every single year, and only stopped when they went to college.

Actively tries to follow fae rules and superstitions when talking to strangers, even before meeting Patch. One of those people who gets genuinely anxious when a customer service person says "May I have your name?"

She has a degree in classical mythology and folklore. Needless to say, it doesn't get much use other than putting them in debt.

Owns a Switch but only sometimes plays RPGs and strategy games. They'd be a massive Tabletop RPG buff if they had any friends to play with…

[sleepy-watcher]

sick baby Stede is the saddest creature with the wettest eyes,,, he is weepy and sensitive, lots of crying to papa Ed bc he doesn't feel good and he wants papa to fix it! he needs all the naps and he gets spoonfed soup and bottle fed some nice hot tea bc milk would make him feel even more icky,,, poor baby needs all the coddling in the world

all my love to Ed if he has to try to give tiny Stede some icky old timey remedies, he will not enjoy that,,,

[romanceyourdemons]

this is hilarious. this lady is DETERMINED to fuck a fairy and the fairy she’s determined to fuck is the saddest wettest most pathetic little creature to ever run a cheap scam. he doesn’t even play the right kind of flute

[original-character-championship]

REASONS TO VOTE FOR AIRAQ (PATHETIC EDITION)

- He has terrible taste in men! Both men he has dated (an ex and his current bf) are mean, bitchy, weirdo men with a ton of problems!

- Why does he date terrible men? That’s because he has has chronic I Can Fix Him Disease. It’s incurable! He thinks he can fix even the most pathetic of men, like his boyfriend, a grown ass man who picks fights with teenagers! How can you not vote for a guy with I Can Fix Him Disease! On the I Can Fix Him Website!

- Airaq is a god who cannot handle most bitter vegetables. He will look at you with the saddest, wettest, most pained eyes ever if you give him a meal that has one too many bitter vegetables. He will still try to eat them so he doesn’t disappoint you but he WILL look very sick the entire time. I want you to picture that. And then Vote for him.

- He’s a bit of a pushover. Big bear man can’t say no to anyone!

- If you squint a little he can kind of look like the autism creature. With pretty eyelashes. Isnt that the kind of man you should vote for? I think so!

!!!

[nek-ros]

need alix to go from a silly guy to the saddest wettest creature then give him the full reality warping power of a god and make him try to be silly again (he very clearly would rather seal himself into a sphere forever but he's stuck granting shitty dragon wishes forever)

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

in my deliriousness i thought too hard about the phrase "disaster puppy" and now can't stop picturing aziraphale somehow coming into possession of the scrunkliest saddest wettest most pathetic black whippet

and crowley has a fancy little bichon frisé that is soso spoiled. he told her very sternly she wasn't allowed in his bed and that lasted all of five seconds

their names are ceebee (short for cerberus) and angie (short for angela)

there's ceebee in his pyjamas. he's fine he's just dramatic (only got TWO snackies instead of three)

why is he named cerberus? "well, now, just look at the fellow! a terrifying hound like that, why, he's only fit to guard the gates of hades-" (ceebee is crying and crying in the background because he wants to be picked up and kissed) "-petrifying, he is, practically a real hellhound-" "YOU'RE NOT BEING SUBTLE, ANGEL."

and why is she named angie? (crowley picks her up and holds her next to aziraphale's hair) "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, YOU WICKED CREATURE-"

aziraphale thinks angie is a polite little lady and appreciates her helping to bring ceebee out of his shell. crowley refers to ceebee as aziraphale's rat (but has been caught napping on aziraphale's couch cuddling both dogs).

angie is either the world's most patient dog or is blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding around her. ceebee is scared of her half the time and she's just like Okay I Take A Nap Right Here :) crowley tries to act like a strict dog trainer in public and she's just like Lol because as soon as they get home she knows she's going to get called the world's specialest princess and get her little paws massaged

aziraphale does his best to reassure ceebee and chats away to him like he's a small child. "really, my lad, it's not that bad" is said about twelve times a day as ceebee whimpers incessantly (i require!!! provide!!!!). ceebee is only calmed by being held against aziraphale's chest as aziraphale sits down with a book (and then aziraphale whimpers incessantly, to crowley, about all the dog hair on hIS BICENTENNIAL WAISTCOAT-)

angie and Dog are best friends and love to run around together, and Dog is the only thing ceebee is not scared of, even if it would make perfect sense for him to be, because he's fuckign stupit