#he is an amnesiac in a sense. he has this kind of instinct to do certain things but he doesn't really REMEMBER who or what he is

[transingthoseformers]

Hey Riot! 👋 It's been a bit since I've been temporarily on break from Tumblr. Clearly, this means I need to start back with a new au.

Hmm. Kind of want an AU with amnesia Prowl. Like when Chromedome does the thing at the beginning of MTMTE he ends up resetting Prowl not just ripping out the memory Prowl was threatening to reveal to Rewind and you know fucking up Prowl’s mind enough that Prowlastator happened and Bombshell napped him easy. So Chromedome leans back and he has a fresh baby Prowl looking up at him with big confused innocent eyes and promptly freaks out enough to use the Overlord smuggling operation to smuggle in Prowl while he figures out what to do with him.

Cue confused Prowl waiting, trying to be well-behaved for his supervisor. That is what Chromedome is right (?), gives him orders, but he's very lonely and would like to leave the box now.

Eventually, he gets out and finds himself in a cell with a criminal (?). Who refers to him by his designation he hasn't told anyone yet. Overlord having been trained by Trepan recognizes the damages and at least has something (new to) interesting to fill his time with.

Chromedome, meanwhile, doesn't realize he didn't put Prowl in stasis correctly and is trying to figure out the best way to handle Prowl 2.0 with Brainstorm that doesn't involve killing him.

Prowl and Overlord talk, and Prowl feels uncomfortable because basically all he has is old laws and the Autobot Code, which he is now taking as the Law For Living, and this isn't proper prisoner treatment. Which is upsetting for him. He starts taking notes on things he needs to report and eventually finds handcuffs and perks up. All while Overlord watches Prowl do the Transformer equivalent of a puppy stumbling around getting used to his legs.

Overlord is talking to him the entire time mentioning things the Prowl can only respond with a disgruntled "I don't know what that is."

When Prowl pulls out the handcuffs, Overlord makes a kinky joke, which Prowl completely misses, and then watches in bemusmenet as Prowl stands up in front of him and asks if he will cooperate and allow him to switch him to standard prisoner restraints. He says of course officer and Prowl undoes his restraints.

Overlord snatches him up without hesitation, and Prowl squeaks. Overlord considers crushing him but despite his amusement he is still in a Megatron Funk and has no real desire to escape, so he sits up and perches Prowl on his thigh, telling him sweetly he wouldnt be able to reach from down there. Prowl is wary and certain this is Not Normal Prisoner Behavior, but Overlord does let him handcuff him with basically to him streamers and adjust the holding cell to fit regulations better.

He decides to start "processing" Overlord and begins to ask him to fill out paperwork, which Prowl is mentally compiling. Overlord answers Prowl's questions and then mentions he has yet to be able to seek legal counsel or give his charges, which Prowl believes, and the rules say that has to happen.

So Prowl goes on a mission to get Overlord his lawyer. Overlord, feeling vaguely suicidal, gives him Tarn's number. Prowl still instinctively knowing his override codes opens the door and makes the call.

Through a series of slightly murderous attempts due purely to Tarn's curiosity of "what the fuck Prowl?!". He ends up carried off with Overlord who barely even fights which pisses Tarn off just the right amount to store him until later. He has more important things.

Like Converting Autobots.

Ohhhh?

I've seen amnesiac!Prowl in. A fic and another I didn't click on yet, so it's very interesting to see how he acts without his memories

mm mnemosurgery, which I still think is terrifying

well that's not good

The fact that you can just wipe someone's entire fucking everything like that scares me but hey! It's mnemosurgery. That makes sense for mnemosurgery.

Chromedome:

Prowl 2.0:

Chromedome: fuck it, come with me

So leaving Overlord and Prowl alone together has to be fascinating, well ruh roh raggy!

So Overlord has been released early, fuck.

and then mentions he has yet to be able to seek legal counsel or given his charges, which Prowl believes

Suggesting the hilarious imagine that initially Overlord might've had these things, and I'm imagining Overlord in a trial absolutely being a menace the entire time (which does not help his case)

How does he have Tarn's number

Can someone just up and call Tarn and say "hey Mr DJD? I have a traitor for you." and snitch on their one friend who did one (1) Mildly (or more than mildly) Traitorous thing but also happened to piss Character One off at the wrong time?

Can someone just fucking lie to Tarn and frame someone as a traitor?

Even Tarn doesn't know what's up here (he'll learn)

Wonder how well received the sudden arrival of the fucking DJD is :)

Is Prowl about to be possibly converted to a decepticon right now? :D?

[south-sea]

👽 ALL OF THEM

(from this)

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs

by "all of them" i'm taking that to mean all recurring names i actively write for in my actually-listed AUs, so let's do this rapid-fire style hell yeah

second chance shadow: little creature who squeaks and purrs. has two types of purrs; one that's catlike and done deliberately for promoting healing in others, and one a bit squeakier that's usually happening on its own because he's super comfortable to the point of falling asleep.

metal: not "weird", but occasionally pretends he's still mute/incapable of communication if he really doesn't like someone. just stares deadpan at them like they're stupid for trying to talk to him. alternatively, chooses to use sign language instead of audibly speaking just to be an asshole if he knows said disliked-person can't read it. he's very petty and full of spite, always, and this kind of insult has Layers considering his relationship with communication in general.

alt-doom: a very "how do you do, fellow kids" sort when it comes to interacting with people outside his immediate hive. it's not secondhand embarrassing or cringe-worthy or anything, he's just a tiny bit out of his depth emotionally sometimes. it comes off a little like someone who's socially awkward but managing to hide it by being incredibly charismatic. at least he means well.

caretaker: displays closed captions on his visor instead of talking sometimes. usually this is done as an accessibility thing, either for who he's speaking to or for himself if he's overstimulated. but every so often he does it as a dismissive insult in a way similar to metal, which is definitely where metal picked it up from.

ros: purposely sleeps sitting up when he's uneasy/unwell. otherwise falls asleep just about anywhere, which is awfully convenient for someone who's out cold anywhere from 10-16hrs a day. despite looking like a feline, can't purr. his attempts sound kind of... wobbly.

semi-modern shadow: mumbles to himself a lot. usually parts of actual conversations he's having with mephiles or maria's soul. the rest of team dark is pretty used to it at this point and doesn't ask him to speak up/repeat himself anymore since they know it's not to them.

amnesiac/redeemed god mephiles: no matter which side of the became-a-god-again arc it is, they have a habit of staying half "submerged" in ground shadows while conversing with someone as they walk together. especially prior to regaining their god status, this occasionally led to abruptly sinking the rest of the way down when someone would approach, leaving semi-modern looking like he was talking to thin air the whole time. post-redemption, they still sometimes "sneak up" on people by appearing in their ground shadow and waiting to be noticed.

aruna: can and will fall asleep to blaring sirens. or just about any other droning frequency. it can be a little concerning, given certain frequencies will put him into an almost sedated/trancelike sleep. also likes sleeping in literal dog beds. he has no idea this could be seen as degrading, despite his first introduction to one being literally intended as such.

lab rat shadow: has a burrowing instinct unrelated to anything in his history. if you give him a pile of blankets and pillows, he'll naturally end up hidden in/under all of them despite having never interacted with so many at once before.

metal medic: can't communicate or hum/sing in any traditional sense, but can mimic the idea of it by producing a series of differently-pitched beeps and blips. has a very limited range, but uses it as a sort of lullaby. it's questionable whether this was a coded function or if he figured it out himself.

[zoneofsmites]

2, 5, 15 and 16 for Sylas from the Tav asks?

Questions from here!

2 - what would their blood taste like to vampires?

I cannot answer this without likely changing it later. This shit keeps me up at night what does a bhaalspawn taste like - more importantly what does an actual titan made from divine flesh and blood taste like.

Currently my answer is this: Sylas would taste like Ambrosia. It tastes exactly like your favorite flavor, whatever that is - which means that it could change per day too!

Additionally I headcanon that bhaalspawn blood revitalises vampires more than other thinking blood does. Their blood drives Bhaalspawn to kill - an instinct vampires are already familiar with in some sense. Therefore I think drinking their blood would make vampires feel more full and also stronger and healthier for a short while after drinking Bhaalspawn blood.

5 - what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

The tent needs to be nestled closely next to something - a kind of wall preferably - to cover his flank. High ground would be nice as well but he prefers corners that he can camouflage in.

The tent itself is a little cobbled together from resources found on the way. It is not nice by any standards. At some point in act 2 some of his friends take pity on him and offer their own tents to share - he rarely takes them on the offer on the nights he actually sleeps because of the nightmare thing and lack of control :)

15 - what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

Sy' camp clothes are a modified version of Gortash' robes from this mod.

-- These decorated robes are made from well-crafted and expensive material. It is in excellent condition although perhaps slightly damaged from the crash. One stands to wonder how the amnesiac found himself with such finery. --

My reasoning for Sylas having some of his old belongings is that they were kept with a bunch of other things from the other experiments - they were boxed up and send along on the nautiloid so they could be rid of them. Sylas finds a few things here and there among the crash debris - things that feel familiar so he hangs on to it.

16 - what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

-- These red briefs are completely ordinary - except for the neatly embroidered text on the inside that reads 'Milord the Dark Urge'. --

(yes. Sceleritas Fel writes his master’s name in his underwear like he's still a child and I fully stand by that... and yes Sceleritas has been doing that for a century).

tysm for the ask 🧡

[shackleton2]

Random notes of me thinking about characterization in my post-WS fic, anyone?

These are just kind of spitballing & recording ideas to try and crystallize what I want my writing to do. Super new to narrative fiction, and I seem determined to write some big long-form story of what I wish and think and feel about the Story of Steve And Bucky--- pre-The First Avenger and post--Winter Solder, specifically. Just trying to get to know these characters the way they live in my head, so that I can think up a situation and answer the question, "What would he do & feel?"

------------------

I love reading and thinking about Bucky- but I really want to build my OWN version of him in my head/on the page. So what is he like? (I wanna do this for Steve too)

tired- but not too tired! not in an old man way, just in a lots-of-fights way

Lonely and used to it and prefers it that way- but not without some internal conflict and pain, bc the person he used to be grew up and lived surrounded by people almost 24/7 right up until the fall.

Doesn’t know what to make of people or how to be normal around them, but at the same time has random bone-deep instincts about it. So he’ll connect with people that he has to, or that spark some of those instincts: like cantankerous underdogs who don’t know how to walk away from fights, sassy young women, tough maternal older women, and vets

His WWII service redefined him—after all if he hadn’t fallen it would have been the biggest life event—and that’s true despite the fact he can barely remember it

My take on childhood: he was raised relatively gently in a very tough world. The Depression hit when they were 12, lasted till 22...I have a longer ramble about the prewar lives of Steve and Bucky that I want to revisit and maybe share here

MCU Bucky post-WS is very quiet, which makes sense, but also feels kind of neutral when he’s not in an action scene. We never get a strong read on his emotions. My Bucky is only like that sometimes. (tangent: that’s where the MCU Bucky storyline jumps out of sync for me: the vise scene in CW. It just feels really all over the place—the hostility, the sudden reminiscence and nostalgia, and then Bucky immediately transforming into banter-y action guy and just kinda staying that way, the only change from that being him seeming very resigned in Wakanda. The issue is with the trigger words too: this whole idea that the Winter Soldier is a switch that gets flipped on or off, instead of something that was burned and carved into the amnesiac brain of Bucky Barnes. Do the words bring about a fugue state where he simply follows orders unquestioningly, or do they activate an entire personality called the Winter Soldier? )

If you got to the end of this, wow, thank you. This feels kinda dumb and navel-gazing, but I felt like tossing it out there, and if you want to tell me any thoughts you have, please do!!!!!

[lizzy-lue]

Listen to episode 1 and episode 21 back to back.

The most funny thing is that when the eldritch monster wakes up in this bewildered amnesiacs head he's all sweet and gentle and patient and uses compliments for the desired effect. Because like yeah, he needs this random guy to do his bidding because if he doesn't he'll be powerless and also die. Yes John's being manipulative here, it's a matter of survival, but he could have tried to control Arthur using fear. Instead he uses gentleness, he understands it's the path of least resistance. This is before they even know eachother, before they've been through hell together, before John even truly learns the value of kindness his first instinct when faced with the uncertainty of mortality is to be kind. As a result the two are able to immediatley get to solving the mystery and work to remedy their mutual situation as a team. John is impressed by Arthur's resourcefulness and wit. He witnessed Arthur's openess and capacity for empathy, even for monsters. They become friends even if it was only a manipulation at the start.

Meanwhile, when Yellow calls Arthur friend, Arthur is like fuck no. He finds that threatening for some reason. Arthur, when he wants to control new amnesiac John? His best friend who he's been through everything with? He insults him. He tells him about how he's a super evil piece of shit demon. He threatens him with death and banishment and torture and is just doing his best to be the biggest meanest bossiest dick he can possibly be. 

Part of this is because Arthur is far far too genuine and emotionally impulsive to play dumb and manipulate with kindness but c'mon. He can't chill out long enough to have some empathy for his confused friend like a real human being? The first thing he does is use Yellow as an emotional punching bag for his own sense of loss. Yellow is in this state because Arthur put him there, totally by choice. This is so ruthless. He tries to make Yellow afraid of him. Of course Yellow goes on the defensive, and then Arthur calls him pathetic and monstrous for doing so. (But Yellow pretending he knows what John is talking about regarding the King because he doesn't want to seem ignorant omfg). Arthur talks about how he's changed John into something more human while not realizing he himself has been changing and the person he has become is a total selfish emotionally constipated asshole who uses power and fear as a tool.

Arthur tells Yellow about how he's such a smart cool investigator that he defeated a god. Then he proceeds to get attacked by wolves, insult a bar full of violent men, vomit all over some guy, and pass out in a dangerous location. 

Yellow gets to see Arthur is not only an ass but also a hapless idiot.

Really making a great impression on your new headmate.

[yuyupowers]

aristocrat!yunho

aristocrat!yunho x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst

trigger warning(s): description of an anxiety attack, brief description of death, memory loss. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: i swear this wasn’t supposed to be this long sdkjflds

none of the pictures are mine!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

eldest son of a duke

okay, so

among nobility, the jeon family are well respect but considered to be a bit,,,eccentric

they adhere to all the social expectations expected amongst nobles, but their attitude towards non-nobility is what sets them apart

though most noble families are polite when interacting with non-nobility, they generally try to keep their distance; avoid their company, if possible

not the jeong’s 

it wasn’t unusual to see duchess jeong knitting in her tea room with maids, merchant’s wives, or whoever else wanted to come

to see gunho running around with his friends, a pack of street urchins, low, and middle class children

to see yunho in the market helping one of the many older couples haul their cart into place

his family had managed to find the delicate balance of being “normal” enough not to suffer social ostracization, yet “odd” enough for people to dismiss their “peculiar actions” as “typical jeong behaviour”

now, onto the loml yunho

perfect gentleman pt. 2

extremely charming and a great conversationalist

no matter how awkward or shy the other party may be, yunho has this way to draw them out of their shell

(just ask mingi)

excels physical and hands-on activities (i.e. hunting, horseback riding, swordsmanship, etc,,,)

average in terms of book smarts

so while wasn’t about to lead the next technological revolution, he wasn’t “stupid” either

rather, i’d argue that yunho’s brilliant in non-traditional ways

his quick wit and ability to think on his feet is part of his charm

but his greatest strengths are his observational skills and emotional intelligence

able to discern people’s emotional state easily and quickly

he’s someone who’s kind, bright, and genuinely cares about other people’s problems (sometimes a little too much)

a natural leader - people tend to flock towards him

between him and mingi (who despite not acting like it, is extremely book smart), they’ve got all bases covered

(+ yunho’s willingness in using unconventional methods to gather information)

that’s actually how he met you

or rather, “found” seems more appropriate

see, he has an excellent rapport with the street children

being six foot one and offering shoulder rides does wonders

and because he wants to stay updated on what problems the people around him are dealing with, he gets the children to “report” to him if they find or hear anything unusual

(the children are more than eager to play spy, especially when there’s candy involved)

one day while taking a stroll, one of his kids ran up to him totally out of breath

he wheezed something about a “mysterious lady” before grabbing yunho’s hand and dragging leading him to an alley quite far away

to say he was surprised was an understatement

most of the time, his kids brought amusing but mostly useless information to him

(even if he is more than content listening about the cute squirrel they fed earlier that day)

usually they didn’t lead him to an unconscious woman lying in the middle of an empty alley

(yes, that’s you)

hurrying to your side, he drops down and checks to see if you’re alive

other than being unconscious and getting some dirt in your hair and on your clothes, you seemed to be okay

gingerly scooping you into his arms, he tells the little boy to fetch the doctor and bring him to the jeong manor

fast forward a couple hours and you’re roused from your unconscious state by the sharp smell of ammonia mixed with lavender

blearily, you rub your eyes and blink once, twice, before your vision finally clears

then panic

you don’t recognize where you are or the two faces that hover by your bedside

sensing your anxiety, yunho smiles warmly speaks in a soothing tone

“hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re in a safe place. my name’s yunho and this is dr. adley. i found you unconscious in an alley.”

and though you’re very confused and still mildly unnerved, you can tell this yunho guy is genuine

“,,,okay.”

so you settle into the (extremely comfortable) four poster bed and let the doctor examine you

except now it’s time for panic pt.2, but ten times worse because why the hell can’t you remember anything?!

you can’t even remember your own g*d damned name !!

to make things worse, there doesn’t seem to be a reason why you can’t remember anything

no bumps or injuries anywhere on your body

and chances of a robbery gone wrong, a kidnapping, or a failed assassination attempt were very unlikely since you were dressed in commoner’s clothes

disquieted by your alarm and the doctor’s confusion, yunho slips out of the room and returns after several minutes

the doctor, offering apologies to both you and yunho, says he has no idea what’s wrong or what could’ve happened to you

all he can suggest is to rest and hope that your memories eventually come back to you

your burry your face into your hands, a whirlwind of frustration, confusion, and fear brewing in you

apparently nobody, including yourself: 

knows who you are, 

where you came from, 

why you were unconscious, 

and why you lost your memories

to top it off, you have no money

.

…

just when you were about to idk,,,scream and/or punch something-

you feel two large hands engulfing yours, lowering them from your face

taking a seat on the edge of bed, yunho offers a faint smile as he idly traces lines from your wrists to your fingertips

a surprisingly soothing gesture

“,,,i know you’re overwhelmed right now, but please don’t feel as if you have to do this on your own. i talked to my mum and dad; you can stay here until either someone finds you or your memories return. in the meantime, we’ll help you out as much as we can, yeah?”

and though you’re in no position to argue, your first instinct is to decline because though you’re amnesiatic, you still have common sense

what kind of family, wealthy or not (actually, especially wealthy), lets a complete stranger stay in their house?

do these people have no sense of danger?

but yunho is as stubborn as he is kind, and this was how you ended up staying with the jeong’s

(you insist on working to earn your stay, much to yunho’s dismay. in his head, unless it helped in recovering their memories or, unfortunately, was necessary for survival, who would make an amnesiac work?)

the first couple of days were awkward

duke and duchess jeong had briefed everyone in the manor about your situation, but when making casual conversation, lapses in memory and uncomfortable silences were inevitable

“oh, i adore this purple! hey, what’s your favourite colour?”

“,,,i uh,,, don’t know.”

“,,,i’m so sorry-”

but awkward has never a problem for yunho, and you quickly grew fond of the gentle giant

“since we don’t know your name, can i call you little sun? since i found you on a sunny day and you’re little-”

“yunho, not everyone can be six feet tall”

“six one, actually”

“,,,”

true to his word, he does his best to help you recover your memories

roped mingi into helping

when you finished your tasks for the day, he’d bring you to all sorts of places, trying all sorts of things

on a hunting trip with yungi, you discovered that: a) you’re proficient in horseback riding, b) you have astounding aim, and c) you’re surprisingly agile

yunho, who’s always been penchant towards athleticism, was delighted to have someone to compete with

mingi just grumbled. sure he was clumsy, but how did someone with no memory beat him?

while helping the gardener, you found out that you have a rather extensive knowledge of flora

yunho jokingly (kinda) suggested that maybe you were a huntress

mingi bombarded you with questions and quizzes about plants

find out what kind of plant you are by decorating your dream room

hoping that you’d run into someone or somewhere familiar, yunho would take on walks all over the city

during your walks, you learned that you preferred nighttime (while he preferred the day), that you found solace in being alone (while he preferred company), that you liked sweet things (while he preferred chips)

a month,

two,

six months passed liked this

you made progress, but you couldn’t stop the bitterness from bubbling in your chest; negativity spreading through your veins like toxin

sure, you consider your favourite colour to be a precious memory in its own right

but who cares about what your favourite colour is when you can’t remember your own name?

you were vexed by the fact that, at this point, you know more about yunho than yourself

even if learning about him made your heart flutter

just a little

and the nightmares

the nightmares

they drove you crazy

you never remembered what you’d dream of, but every night, without fail, you’d wake with tear stained cheeks and sweat soaked clothes

tonight was particularly bad

normally, when you woke, you’d force yourself to take several deep, calming breaths until your breathing evened, grab a glass of water, then crawl back to bed

today, you couldn’t breathe

no matter what or how hard you tried, your heart wouldn’t stop pummeling against your ribcage;

your blood wouldn’t stop rushing between your ears, creating a cacophony no one else could hear;

wave after wave of nausea would slam into your gut

your vision’s blurring

oh god

you’re gonna pass out

you’re gonna pass out and forget the memories you worked so hard to remember and all the memories you made and you’re gonna forget yunho and mingi and-

suddenly, much like the first day, two large hands engulf your own, idly tracing lines from your wrist to your fingertips

“little sun, it’s me, yunho. your yunho. focus on my hands and voice, yeah? i’m right here.”

he continues to murmur sweet nothings until finally, finally, your heart settles back in your chest, your breathing levels, and your vision clears enough to see yunho

your yunho

and in this state, one look at his kind eyes is enough for the tears you’ve been holding in all this time to spill over

because though you cry in your sleep, you never let yourself cry when you’re awake

too focused on chores, too focused on remembering, too focused on trying to get some semblance of control over this uncontrollable situation

without a word, he pulls you into his chest and runs his fingers through your sweaty hair, offering the sound of his heartbeat to anchor you back to this four poster bed when you were ready

but g*d, does it break his heart to see you cry

he expected to hear you wail, to take the brunt of your fists as you pound his chest

but he hears nothing

instead, he feels your tears soak his shirt, feels how you tremble in his arms

and that is so much worse.

it takes long minute for you to stop crying, and another for you to feel composed enough to detach yourself from yunho’s (now soggy) chest

you’re sure you look awful

puffy eyes, blotchy cheeks, and a runny nose

(and you feel embarrassed that yunho witnessed your breakdown)

but he thumbs away the remaining tears from your cheeks and murmurs that he’ll be right back, returning with tissues and a glass of water 

and a new shirt

he hands you the glass of water, tosses your used tissues in the garbage, and climbs underneath your (technically his) covers, patting the space beside him

when you too find refuge in the warm blankets, he pulls you back into his chest

his arm acts as your pillow as he kisses the crown of your head, murmuring into your hair

“wanna talk about it?”

it takes you several moments, but you eventually tell him about the negativity seeping into every inch of skin

the nightmares you never recall keeping you up at night

the irrational feeling of stupidity because you can’t remember who you are

yunho silently, attentively listens to you as you spill your heart

and if he hadn’t pulled you so close, you might’ve seen the weariness in his usually carefree features

the conflict and hollowness brewing in his normally inviting eyes

but by the time you finished talking and pulled back, the expression was gone and the familiar smile you adored so much was back in place

“tomorrow, let’s go to the place where i found you.”

a faint smile bloomed on your lips because though this wasn’t the first time you visited, it was a reminder that you weren’t alone

that no matter how the chances dwindled, yunho would remind you that it was never zero

it was hope that got you through the night

the two of you have never done anything that could be considered anything but platonic

much to mingi’s irritation

but just for tonight, yunho decides to be a little greedy

he kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids, you wrists, your palms, your knuckles, your fingers

anywhere he can reach,

except for your lips

you’re emotionally exhausted and vulnerable; he’d feel like a dick if he forced a decision - especially an emotionally fraught one - onto you right now

he threads your fingers together, murmuring soft promises: you’ll remember who you were, you’ll be okay, you’ll find your way again

and you finally let the exhaustion, the steady rhythm of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, and the warmth and comfort that is yunho lull you to sleep

the next morning is a cold one

gusts of wind bite into your skin as you curl in on yourself, trying to preserve any remaining shred of body heat

noticing this, yunho tucks you under his arm with a sheepish smile and flushed cheeks that were definitely red because of the cold and not because he was flustered

cute

a peaceful silence falls between you two as he leads you to the alley

and since it was early, the only sounds that accompanied you was the quiet patter of your footsteps and the chirps of birds reluctant to travel south

feeling like it simultaneously took too long and not long enough, the two of you arrive

an odd smile settles on yunho’s lips

,,,was that bitterness?

“,,,here we are.”

interrupting your train of thought, he takes your hand and leads you to where he found you

g*d

you could feel it

somewhere in the back of your mind, something almost tangible was shoving its way forward

you’re so close, just a little more and-

suddenly, a chill that had nothing to do with the weather ran down your spine

before you could understand what you were feeling, yunho shoved you behind him and parried the dagger aimed for his chest

a gruff looking man only a little shorter than he stood before him

his clothes tattered and dirty, skin littered with scars, hair and beard scraggly and matted, he looked like one of the many men that inhabited the slums

but those men were sagging skin and bones, never knowing where or if they would get a next meal

this man was muscular

and judging by the familiarity of his actions, this clearly wasn’t his first assassination 

the two men, unable to disengage, snarl as they continue to press into each other

much to your surprise, when you were about to jump into the fray, the assassin screams at you

“YOU ‘UCKING WHORE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! KILL HIM!”

big mistake

because not only is yunho clever and athletic, he’s one lucky bastard

in the brief second the assassin’s attention was diverted, yunho ducks

his weight and moment carries him forward, and he stumbles,,,right onto yunho’s blade.

yanking both his blood soaked short sword and body away from the assassin, the man crumples to the ground

but until life is drained from his eyes, he bores holes into your head, message clear: kill him

a deafening silence weighs down upon you when the man stops breathing

even the wind stills

yunho stands there, a far away look in his eyes as he grips the short sword

blood is splattered all over his hands, across his cheek

it trickles from the hilt, down the blade, and eventually drips onto the ground beneath him

snow begins to drift from the gray skies, landing on his hair, his cheeks, his eyelashes, his coat

as if trying to comfort him

as if trying to wash the blood away

and you?

you couldn’t move.

not when the floodgates had opened and a torrent of memories threatened to pull you under

you knew who you were

you were yn, born to a peasant mother who died at birth and a father that abandoned you soon after

a ghost of a person, and unknown assassin raised by an unnamed noble who resented the jeong’s for their wealth, their nobility, and their favour with the royal family despite their peculiar attitude

nothing but a tool 

a tool told that if successful, he’d grant you wealth and freedom

but that if you failed, he’d kill you himself

…

the assassin wasn’t after yunho, he was after you

a warning to finish the job, or else

…

you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking

and yunho, 

your gentle giant, yunho

envelops your hands in his, idly tracing lines from your wrist to your fingertips

there’s no comfort this time.

not when he drew lines of blood across the back of your hand, not when you searched and couldn’t read anything expect for this sad smile on his ordinarily open features

“,,,do you remember?”

“,,,”

“,,,”

“,,,”

“,,,”

“,,,you knew.”

he did.

his suspicions appeared early on, spurred by your unusually good marksmanship, agility, and uncanny knowledge of plants

specifically poisonous ones

he turned to this “unconventional” ways of gathering information

starting off with his kids,

then some trusted tclose contacts

but when nothing - and he meant a questionable amount of nothing - turned up, he left the legal sphere and delved in the underground; the black markets

yunho has people who owe him favours - people who’s debts he’s paid off, who’s fights he’s fought on their behalf 

it took a few months, but eventually he got the information he wanted

marquess yoo who openly showed his distaste for the jeong family “released his pet into the wild”

but the jeong’s were not stupid, and they were loved

when yunho’s father confided to some close acquaintances about the predicament they were facing, they took matters into their own hands

they never meant to hurt you

only to capture you and talk you out of killing, bribing you with money, protection - threats, if necessary - if you testified against marquess yoo

but somewhere along the way, things got messy 

it ended with an unconscious girl lying in the middle of an abandoned alley; three grown men running away because oh dear lord, she’s dead; and a child leading yunho straight to you

letting go of your hands, yunho goes to kneel beside the man he just killed

closing his eyes, he mutters a prayer for the (not so) poor soul who unknowingly got himself tangled in this mess, and grabs the dagger 

it feels like someone doused you in ice as yunho walks back to you

horror morphs on your face as he gently - why was he always so gentle? - wraps your fingers around the hilt and places the blade against his neck

the smile that you love so much but currently hate rests on his lips as he cups the side of your face with his free hand

his thumb idly brushes against your cheek, eyes twinkling with adoration as he drinks in every last detail of your face as if,,,

as if,,,

he’s ready to die

“no one knows we left this morning and no one knows we’re here; not even mingi. if you kill me, you’ll have enough time to collect some of your reward and run away.”

by now your hands were shaking so much that if yunho didn’t have his hand wrapped around yours, you would’ve dropped the blade

but as the snow floats down and lands in your hair, in his eye lashes, in the fog of your shared breaths, in the space between you,

here to witness a great tragedy

you both knew,

that one of you has to die.

[falling-heights]

I was wondering if you can do a yandere goku hc, but like goku who didn’t get hit in the head so he’s kinda more aggressive, violent, and not so child like? basically he didn’t hit his head as a child so his personality doesn’t switch?

Okay so like, a straight answer would be for me to just tell you that this is just Turles, because that’s exactly why Turles was introduced, to be the kinda “what-if?” with Goku. But I’m not, because I love Turles too much to admit such tomfoolery. The man’s got thunder thighs that you just can’t question, alright? 

Taking Turles out of the equation makes this a much more complicated matter, and so that everyone can understand my reasonings about this set-up, I’ll explain a bit about his rewritten past first. 

 What might be surprising to you is that I don’t believe Goku’s journey would change as much. Grandpa Gohan would still find and raise him, and it’s likely that he’d still die by the same reasons. 

At this point it should be established that when Goku hit his head, he probably suffered amnesia as well, hence why he can’t remember Bardock or Gine, so by not suffering that injury, he’ll still know some their faces at the least and his own name, which would remain Kakarot.

He would still be taught about morals and honor, taking on Gohan Sr. as more of a martial arts master than a parental figure, and when Gohan died, Kakarot would want to seek out a new master. Curiously enough, he’d never have the need to destroy earth, because as it was discovered in the Broly movie, he was never sent there for that purpose. If anything, it’d be better to compare him to an orphaned and estranged young boy with no set purpose and no way to find out where he came from.

And this is why he’d go the most likely route of seeking the martial arts. Saiyans are a fighting breed, so it would make sense that he’d want to get stronger just by following his blood instinct. 

It’s unlikely that he’ll ever meet Bulma, and if he ever met Yamcha.... well, poor yamcha. 

From adolescence to late teens, he’d be taking on a multitude of masters, and learning from them until he felt that they had nothing left to offer him. His skills would be much sharper than the other goku because of how serious he takes fighting. 

A sense of pride and cockiness may develop from this over-powered strength. He thinks himself to be superior to everything else considering he’ll still know of his saiyan heritage. The only way someone would then be able to earn his respect would be by having equal strength or skill.

In his free time, when he isn’t training, he tests his battle smarts in tournaments, plus the money earned isn’t half bad. 

And this is when you come into the equation, Dearest. 

As we’ve established, Goku can only respect someone if they’re respectively strong. The same will be said about you. You’ll have to impress his ego before he’ll even consider something. 

You’d meet him as a late teen, the best bet being a World Tournament, with you as a contestant. Even something as small as landing a single punch will pique his interest, and he’ll want to push your skills to reflect his. Instead of being the student, he’ll become the teacher, whether you want his guidance or not. 

His intentions are good by default, however he’ll discover kindling desires for you the more your relationship develops, and he’ll soon be too attached to let you go.

But not to worry, Darling, he may be possessive and obsessed with you, but Kakarot is a tad more refined than his amnesiac counterpart. You’ll be happy with him. 

He’s not a traditional romantic, but let’s say... he has a more open imagination. You’ll be able to do so much more with him than regular Goku.

Just don’t make him angry. His fuse will be shorter, more things will set him off, particularly if it pertains to you. 

You see, my dear, the biggest distinction between Kakarot and Goku is guilt. Kakarot has no desire to be a merciful or kind person unlike Goku, which translates to how he treats anything that may be deemed a threat to your safety. 

If someone tries to advance on you, he’ll be there to protect you. But he’s a sadistic man, and he’ll want to teach them a good lesson on their behavior before putting them out of their misery for good. 

So, when Raditz arrives to recruit Kakarot, whatever Raditz expects to be done with you will decide if he lives or not. But the more likely outcome will be that he doesn’t care if Kakarot wants to bring a plaything. He may even recruit you if your skills hold up. The alignment won’t last, however. Goku and Vegeta have too much in common, too much to clash with, and considering Kakarot isn’t his old friendly self, you can imagine what Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz’s fates will be. 

You’ll be free to roam the universe, Kakarot’s draw to power will lead him to eventually ruling it, most likely, and you’ll be there with him every step of the way. He has no need to prove his undying love to you because he knows just how hopeless your chances of escape are. And so do you, he’ll see to reminding you every so often.

Okay, i don’t know how this one really turned out, but more Piccolo is coming out next! Maybe later today, I haven’t decided yet...

Also! I’ve been thinking about situational hcs or snippets of actual writing instead of hcs, what do yall think?

Check out my other stuff!

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (11) || atz

He pulls you through the town, back to the harbor where you can see several ships docked in the piers. But to your surprise, Jongho doesn’t lead you back to the Treasure. Instead, he drags you to a small bakery selling pastries and sweets.

You turn to him confusedly. “Jongho-hyung, what are we doing here?”

“Pick three cakes.” He gestures at the shelves. The establishment is neat and well kept for a pirate town, and the cakes look rather high quality compared to the other shops you saw earlier. It must be expensive. But since he told you to do it, you obey.

The shop owner takes your pastries and puts them in a little paper bag. Then Jongho adds several more cakes to the order, until his arms are laden with bags of sweet treats.

“Let’s sit.” He tells you gruffly, pulling you to one of the tables outside and sitting you down. You continue staring at him in complete bewilderment even as he pulls out your pastry and sets it in front of you.

“Eat.”

Your mouth falls open. Then you lean forward, pressing a palm against Jongho’s forehead as you look into his eyes intently. “Jongho-hyung, are you experiencing any dizziness or discomfort?”

The maknae jerks back at the contact, face twisted in a confused scowl as he shakes his head. “What? No! What are you-”

“You need to be honest with me, Jongho-hyung.” You look into his eyes carefully, searching for wavering pupils or the like and your voice drops to a secretive whisper. “Have you been drinking without telling Seonghwa-hyung?”

“No! Why are you even asking me this? I'm not being weird!” Jongho yelps as he scoots back further from you, the sound of his chair dragging across the stone floor making both of you wince. “I'm not drunk! I’m not sick either!”

“Okay…” You continue to stare at him with worried eyes as you take a bite of your puff, the sweet taste of cream spreading over your tongue. The young battlemaster sighs.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He glances away from you for a moment to collect his thoughts, before he opens his mouth to speak again.

“I don't hate you, okay?”

His words are mumbled under his breath, so you lean across the table to hear him more clearly.

“What?”

“I don't hate you!” He shouts, clearly embarrassed. His cheeks are tinged pink and you look at him in surprise.

“Shut up, kid!” One of the bakery’s patrons shouts at the two of you and you shy back into your chair, feeling your cheeks burning.

“Oh.” Is all you manage.

You’re a little shocked. With how he’d been treating you this while, you thought he’d hated you, loathed you, even. While you weren’t sure why, you had thought he had disliked you immensely.

“Wipe that dumb look from your face before I smack it off.” Jongho grunts, and you realise that your lips are pulled into a wide grin. Hurriedly, you try to hide your Cheshire Cat smile, but it’s impossible. “I mean it!”

Finally with much difficulty, you press your face into a poor attempt at a serious look, much to Jongho’s chagrin. He sighs, slapping a hand against his forehead.

“I’m just awkward with new people, okay?” You’ve never seen the young battlemaster this skittish. Even in battle, he’s always possessed some kind of quiet, silent self confidence, not an ounce of self doubt in him. “And I was always the youngest till you came along, so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to… take care of you.”

You’re oddly touched by this for a moment. This strong man, who can handle even the fiercest of enemies, awkward and shy… because he doesn’t know how to take care of you.

A giggle somehow manages to leave your mouth. “That’s cute.”

“What! No!” Jongho cries in horror, looking desperate now. “I’m not cute-” A disgusted glower paints his face as the last word passes his lips.

“Boy, shut up before I come over and shoot you myself!” The shopkeeper bellows from behind the counter, and Jongho slumps back into his seat, groaning in despair at your irrepressible smile.

“Forget I said anything.” His words are muffled against the table top.

The two of you sit in peace for a long moment. It’s silent, like how it was between the two of you before, but where there was discomfort, now there is a happy warmth that fills you from the inside. Maybe it is because you’ve lost your memories, but with every new person that you meet, they root and grow themselves in your heart.

“Jongho-hyung…” You suddenly speak up, breaking the silence you two had been enjoying. The young battlemaster raises an eyebrow as he looks over at you questioningly. “What song did you sing when I was tied to the mast?”

“Song?” He frowns, but you can see baby pink blossoming on his cheeks like cherry blossom petals. “I sing a lot. Do you remember the lyrics?”

You recite what you remember. “Born on the wrong side of the ocean…”

“Ahh.” A small, sad smile pulls at the corners of Jongho’s mouth, the look softening his serious expression as he glances towards the harbor. The sun has just begun to set, the rosy light casting Jongho in a halo of warm oranges and pastel pinks. “It’s an old song. My mother used to sing it to me when I was still a child.”

The look on his face is forlorn, a little happy, a little sad, a little wistful. His eyes seem to be looking at something so far away, gazing at some point in his past that you can’t see.

“Jongho-hyung… where is your mother?”

That snaps the maknae out of his thoughts, the smile falling from his face as he inhales deeply. “She’s dead now. Died of consumption a few years ago. Didn’t get the medicine she needed and left. She’s in a better place now.”

You blink once. “That’s sad.” The cream puff is finished off, and you lean back to look at Jongho. His gaze never leaves the ocean as he continues to speak.

“Dad died before she did. In a hurricane offshore. Never got to see a trace of him again except the smashed up remains of his boat.” He points to a piece of tattered white fabric he wears around his shoulders.  “This is from the wreckage.”

His voice is thick with emotion, but his face remains solidly strong. You feel something stirring in your chest, something that seems to want to swallow your lungs whole. You frown and touch your chest. Is there something wrong with you?

“But enough about my sad backstory. What’s over is over, and what’s left for me to do is move on.” Jongho’s voice doesn’t waver at all as he thumps his chest. “They live on in here. I’ll live well for the two of them and never shed a tear again. Can’t let them be worried about me.”

His smile returns, a genuine and powerful one this time. For a moment, you’re so lost in it that you can barely breathe. Jongho is the epitome of strong. Not just physically, but in the heart, and in every sense of the word.

“Anyway, what about you, stowaway?” He cocks his head as he shoves a meat stuffed bun into his mouth. You look confused for a moment. What past do you have to tell? “What’s with that necklace around your neck?”

Ah. Your fingers reach up to stroke the silver chain resting against your delicate collarbones. Your only link to your past, the last thread you have connecting you to who you were before.

“I don’t know.” You murmur softly, feeling a lump rise in your throat. “I woke up with it.”

“I know Hongjoong-hyung said you’re an amnesiac.” Jongho looks at you firmly, but curiosity brims behind his eyes. “But do you really remember… nothing?”

You close your eyes. For a second, white dances behind your eyelids, the sound of sea crashing against the shore filling your ears and rain touches your face.

Then a single, unblinking red eye looms into your mind.

Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes fly open. You can still see it, a monstrous thing, a dark, hulking shape in the depths that has been forever chasing you… following you…

You’re not sure how Jongho will react right now if you tell him you could hear the voice of a giant squid monster which was chasing the Treasure, so you merely hold your tongue and shake your head.

Jongho is silent for a moment.

Then suddenly he rises to his feet, abruptly grabbing you by the arm. You follow, a little stunned by his strange change in demeanor, and Jongho whirls to look at you with resolution carved into his face.

“You’ve got whipped cream on your nose.” The young battlemaster swipes the sweet smudge off with a finger and licks it off, to your horror.

“That’s disgusting, Jongho-hyung.” You scrunch up your nose, but you’re not sure why he’s suddenly so eager to do something. Jongho begins pulling you somewhere, much to your surprise.

“Where are we going?”

“When I first came to Tortuga, I had just lost my parents and joined the crew.” Jongho tells you earnestly, leading you down past the harbor to a more lively, darker part of town by the shore. Many street vendors and shopkeepers with makeshift booths line the wooden docks, all offering some sort of rare, exotic wares, but Jongho simply brushes past all of them without a second glance. “And by coincidence, I visited a fortune teller.”

“I didn’t peg you for the superstitious type, hyung.” Is all you say as you take in the new environment all around you. The place is a little shady, with suspicious characters slinking away at every turn and dark, hooded men crouching behind corners. But with one glance from Jongho and they scatter, clearly intimidated by the way his fingers inch for the handle of his cutlass.

You remember what Yunho had told you about Jongho just earlier this morning.

He’s a great fighter and he has strong protective instincts. You’re probably safer with him than in the sickbay.

“I’m not superstitious.” Jongho tries to defend himself, but sees the look on your face and sighs. “There’s something different about this fortune teller. I never believed magic existed till I met San-hyung… but this fortune teller has a similar aura I get from hyung.”

You immediately understand what he’s talking about. Your master has a pulse about him that you’ve always been able to feel, like the warmth emanating from the sun and a gentle pulse that draws people to him, a comforting softness.

You’ve never seen San use his ‘inner energy’, as he calls it, but the feeling you get from him is no lie.

“But why do you want me to come to a fortune teller, hyung?” Nerves and a deep sadness twist within you. “There’s no point in knowing what’s going to happen. If I can’t remember my past, what’s the point of looking at the future?”

Jongho then stops you in your tracks, placing his hands on your shoulders. His eyes are both gentle and earnest at the same time, searching yours and for a second you can’t look away.

“You may not have a past yet.” The grin on his face is wild, brimming with confidence. “But we sure as hell are going to be your future.”

[anistarrose]

hello, my love (ao3)

a slightly late @taznovembercelebration fic for the day 19 prompt “established relationship,” albeit in possibly the least conventional sense of the phrase. in other words, this is the culmination of a lot of Blupjeans feelings I couldn’t not write about any longer

*

It — it feels wrong to say I’ll miss you, but —

No, I get it. It’s gonna be so fucking weird, and I — I know it won’t last forever —

Okay, I — I can’t do it like this. Not if we make it sad. Lup, I love you so much, you know you’re the light of my life and undeath…

Of course, babe.

…and I’ll see you soon.

The world Barry wakes up in is tinted green, obscuring everything besides a few ill-defined silhouettes. His limbs are numb at first, but as… red sparks? run down his arms, the feeling returns as a strange sort of weightless sensation, like he’s floating beneath the surface of a lake.

A few bubbles escape from his nose, and oh shit, he really is submerged in something. Before he can even wonder which way is up, his hand grazes something that immediately tears away — and with it drains out the mystery green liquid, which he’s just going to pretend is water. He staggers onto the floor of a cave, blinking rapidly as he adjusts to the light. It’s definitely a cave; he can feel the cool air on his skin and the bare rock beneath his feet — so why is it so bright?

The answer arrives in the form of a voice, whose owner becomes a little more visible to him with each blink of his eyes.

“Care for a towel? Actually, I’m giving you one whether you want it or not, ‘cause if you die of hypothermic shock after everything we’ve gone through to get here, that’s just gonna be awkward.”

She’s beautiful, he knows before he can truly see evidence of the fact. There’s so much care in her voice that her joke can’t disguise, and the towel she slings over Barry’s shoulders is warm, but not as warm as her hands. This feels like the correct moment to freak out over being, as far as Barry can tell, completely buck naked aside from the generous towel gift — but instead, his attention is captivated by his companion, who in complete contrast to himself, seems to be more clothes than body as she comes into focus.

It doesn’t feel right to say she’s wearing her red robe — it’s more like she embodies it, as it moves subtly to indicate her posture, her emotions, rather than to conceal them. What little of her that isn’t a robe is ablaze, but not violently — if Barry only had one word to describe her, he would simply say warm.

Her eyes are negative space amidst the flames, darkness where one would expect unbridled light, but there’s nothing sinister about them — more of a fascination, if anything, evident as she locks her gaze with Barry’s.

He’s been staring, hasn’t he? And she’s been staring at him.

He expects the sheer embarrassment of this whole situation to catch up to him any second, but it just doesn’t hit him. There’s nothing uncomfortable about sharing the room with her.

“Hi,” he says, giving a little wave. “I don’t know how I got here, but… I like your robe.”

She bursts into laughter, illuminating the cave in an ever-changing pattern of red, orange, and pink — and Barry can’t help but wonder if there are a few tears in the mix too, given how hard it is to tell on a face made out of fire.

“Oh, babe. Oh, Barry. Of course you would.” She brings a spectral finger to Barry’s face, evaporating a droplet of water with a single touch, but the warmth that rushes to Barry’s cheeks has nothing to do with the temperature of her hands, only her touch itself. “Sit tight for a second, babe. I’m gonna grab something you’ll like.”

Babe? He’s paralyzed for a few seconds, the word echoing in his head as she floats across the room, sifting through piles of scrolls, jeans, and miscellaneous other items that couldn’t be further from naturally occurring in caves. Does she know me? Does she like me?

He’s finished drying himself off by the time she returns, holding a second red robe — and a corporeal one, no less. She drapes it over Barry’s shoulders, and he slips his arms into the sleeves without thinking twice.

It’s cozy, but something about looking down at himself wearing it brings a fuzziness to his mind that’s not nearly as comfortable as the fuzziness of the fabric. He focuses his gaze on the ghostly woman instead — who makes his mind turn to static in her own right, but in a way that’s more than balanced out by the joy of just looking at her.

“See, we both look good in red,” she says with a wink, and Barry feels the temperature of his face rise another degree or two. He’ll wind up on fire like she is, at this rate. “You’ll want to sit down. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, I can imagine. Um, I think… I might be just a tiny bit amnesiac? Like, just a little. ‘Cause I know who I am, but you sound like you know me, and I don’t know you.”

He takes a deep breath, and decides there’s no harm in admitting what she’s surely already noticed. He’s been too confused to try and be subtle. “Also, I definitely just fell in love with you a couple orders of magnitude faster than I thought I’d ever fall in love with anyone, so that’s, uh… cool, but weird?”

The lower half of her face brushes his forehead — not quite solid, but not unpleasant — and he realizes just as soon as it’s over that it must’ve been a ghostly kiss.

“We were gonna ease you into the ‘us being in love and you losing your memories’ thing,” she tells him with a chuckle, and Barry’s too giddy to even wonder what she means by we. “Lay out the groundwork first. We should’ve known better.”

“My bad?” Barry blurts out, and that makes her laugh even harder, until embers are dripping from her eyes like glistening teardrops.

“Oh my god. This must — this must be so much for you, babe, so much to take in. How are you doing it? How are you — taking this so in-stride, and still sounding so much like you, I mean?”

“I mean… I wouldn’t know,” Barry admits. It is so much to take in, and he knows that if he’d woken up here all alone, with no idea how he’d arrived, then he’d be a mess by now — and not the hopeless romantic kind. As it is, he’s holding it together, trying not to think about his headache and taking comfort in the more pleasant of realizations — but he’s still adrift and disoriented, clinging to a figure he can’t remember his reason for trusting. “It — it doesn’t quite feel real, to be honest? Like, I — I believe you, I believe that I loved you — but it’s the forgetting that gets me…”

He can see himself falling in love, but he can’t see himself falling in this kind of love quickly. This soaring feeling in his heart could only be propelled by years of incremental intimacy, years that he can remember none of, years that don’t exist according to the static roaring inside his head. “How could I forget all this?”

She hugs him in a way unlike any hug he can remember, overlapping with the space he occupies until he’s engulfed in gentle flames, and the threads of her robe feel like they’re what’s doing the hugging, having reformed and rewoven themselves around his arms. Not knowing how else to embrace her back, Barry wraps his arms around his own chest, and feels her presence grow warmer still.

He can just barely wrap his mind around the thought that the warmth coming from his own chest might be borne of subconscious familiarity.

“You still have a big obvious head-over-heels crush on me, don’tcha?” she teases, her laughter surrounding him. “Nothing can make you forget that.”

“Yeah, every version of me’s a hopeless romantic. We’ve got that,” Barry admits. “But I — I don’t even remember your name —”

He would know it if he heard it, he’s sure; it’s so close to the tip of his tongue that he’d probably blurt it out instinctively, if only he didn’t always think so hard about his words before saying them. It’s so tantalizingly close, and he wants to know it again, to say it again, more than any other favor the universe could grant him, and doesn’t the universe owe him at least this much —

“Well, I know how to fix that.” She withdraws from the hug, remaining at his side. “And I think it’ll help if you hear it from yourself — if you hear all the truth we can give you, that is.”

She extends a hand, and a simple golden coin flies across the room to land in her palm. It’s embossed with a vaguely familiar rune that Barry can’t translate, but his mind really starts to reel when she places the coin in his hand, and he hears his own voice emanate from it:

Your name is Barry Bluejeans. You are afraid of the dark. Your very favorite thing in the world is swimming in very cold water on a very hot day, but you cannot remember who taught you to swim, or why you’re always so much more scared of the dark at the end of the year.

The beautiful undead woman next to you is named Lup, and as much as it pains you to realize, you have forgotten her, too. There are fundamental truths about the world, about your loved ones, and about yourself that you have been blocked from comprehending — you’ve had more stolen from you than you realize, and there are very few ways to undo it.

Barry, I’m you just moments ago, and I’m about to forget so much. But right now, I remember, and Lup can help you remember too.

Another voice joins the recording — Lup herself, who sounds just slightly different than she has today, just a little less burdened.

If you haven’t guessed from how this nerd talks about me — Her words are punctuated by an affectionate grumble from Barry — we’ve been dating longer than you can imagine. I wish we could just —

You also can’t remember that Lup’s as much of a nerd as you are, Barry, his past self interrupts. You met because you were both nerds.

Oh, come on, you’ll still be smart enough to figure that one out by yourself! But like I was saying, we had a hell of an epic love story I wish we could just tell you — but you wouldn’t be able to understand much of it, and you’d get a headache trying.

So, Barry adds, we thought about what would be the next best thing. And I think we got a pretty good idea.

A classical music piece fades in, beginning with a piano but quickly adding a violin. Barry can’t put a title or a context to the tune, but he recognizes it from the first note and starts tearing up by the third. His fingers tap out a pattern in sync with the piano part before he even realizes they’re doing it, and when he closes his eyes to let the music wash over him, he realizes that the Lup of the present, the Lup at his side, is almost imperceptibly humming along with the violin.

“You’ll remember this again,” she promises, choking up, when the tune eventually fades. “One day.”

Already, the music has stirred ghosts of memories, fleeting emotions, that Barry can almost imagine in context — quiet moments, private conversations that no one could rip away from him because no one else but Lup ever knew they’d happened — and that day feels close, reassuringly so.

Like him falling for Lup again, it feels like an inevitability.

[thornfield13713]

RWBY au; Ruby gets the memory loss & Roman takes her in and convinced her she’s a villain

My favourite trope! Criminal amnesiacs! Be warned, my undying love for Roman will influence this one a lot. As will my love of the ‘villain to weird uncle’ trope.

It happens at the end of Volume 1, during the fight at the docks, with a few changes - namely, at some point Ruby ends up hitting her head pretty badly, and Roman decides to grab her as a convenient hostage to cover his escape with. He wasn’t expecting her to come to back at the warehouse with no memory and what she describes as a strange, instinctive sense that she can trust him, but is more probably just her latching onto the first person she sees like a baby duckling. Roman...has absolutely no idea what to do. People don’t trust him, because of...well, everything he says and everything he does. Neo trusts him. She’s the only person who ever has, and he’s...strangely susceptible to that. So he’s got no idea what to do with the current bane of his life showing up and suddenly trusting him completely. So...okay, yeah, might as well keep her around as a minion, why not? Just until he figures out what to do with her.

Yang, of course, is furious and grieving and terrified. Sure, Ruby was alive last time Yang saw her, but every day that passes without either Ruby or her body turning up is another awful day of uncertainty and pain and terror. The rest of the team aren’t in a much better state, leading to the remainder of team WBY starting to fracture, then coming together stronger with the burning determination to find Torchwick, find out what happened to Ruby, get her back if they can and get revenge if they can’t.

Ruby, meanwhile, is...actually a really effective villain. And she’s having a great time doing it. She’s great at making her new colleagues’ weapons more effective, she enjoys the fighting, and is getting a hell of an education in hand-to-hand courtesy of Neo, who’s rather enjoying throwing her around like a ragdoll in their training sessions. She’s not, initially, best-pleased about having someone else around as part of the operation, especially not someone who’s made it her apparent life’s mission to make trouble for them. But, it’s kind of hard not to warm up to Ruby when you’re stuck spending time with her in a social, non-violent context - even as a villain, she’s still friendly, over-enthusiastic and eager to get on with her teammates, and it’s kind of hard not to be won over by sheer process of abrasion. It’s working on Roman, too, very much to his annoyance, especially as Ruby has ended up being so very helpful in this stage of the plan, but it’s Neo Ruby spends the most time with, as they’re often partnered for jobs.

The rest of team WBY don’t find out what happened to their team leader until after Torchwick’s appearance at the White Fang rally, as Ruby throws herself into that particular fight a bit sooner than Neo does, not wanting to leave her new teammate to fight on his own. There may be a Winter Soldier moment when Yang sees her face and says her name, and Ruby just...cannot recognise it, because mostly people have just called her ‘Red’ or ‘Little Red’ since she lost her memory. Roman may not even know her original name, since she only got in the way of his plans once by chance before the incident in which she lost her memory, and thus might not have been worth investigating too closely. This is what really kicks the plot into high gear, as Ruby is now increasingly bothered by the fact that on some level she did recognise her former teammates, and the increasing suspicion that her new friends aren’t being entirely truthful with her, and Team WBY are determined to get Ruby back by any means necessary and also restore her memory.

If Salem knew that Roman had a silver-eyed henchgirl, she would have demanded her for her experiments. And, while Cinder has no idea yet of the actual significance of silver eyes, Salem might yet find out anyway, either through Cinder’s reports or through some other means. When or if she does, things are going to come to a head, as Roman and Neo are forced to confront that...they have actually got fond of Little Red. It’s hard not to be. And Roman isn’t a good man, true, but selling a fifteen-year-old to a monster to suffer torturous experimentation followed by either death or slavery and transformation into a Grimm is a bit too gratuitously evil even for him.

[tarhalindur]

Rebellion’s Biggest Outstanding Question

(Big fat PMMM+Rebellion spoilers under the cut, natch:)

Homura, at the end of Rebellion, believes that she is rebelling against Madoka’s will.  But is she actually doing so?  Or is she acting in accordance with it?

Let me explain.

I’ll start with the point I’m sold on either way (and have commented on at least twice before, including my explanation of Madoka’s other big mistake): Rebellion is directly downstream of Madoka making a single mistake immediately after her ascension in episode 12, a moment when she could not afford to make any mistake at all.  Much like Madoka’s other big mistake in episode 10, this one is not obvious on the surface and only becomes clear when looking at the events through a symbolic lens.

Specifically, a Buddhist symbolic lens.

I’ll leave the full explanation there to this post, which lays out the Buddhist influence on base PMMM’s themes and imagery and on Madokami’s ascension better than I could.  (Although its author is missing a few points.  First, the shot of Madoka expanding to galaxy size is DIRECTLY out of ego death symbolism.  Which makes sense, because there’s enough accounts to suggest that regardless of whether or not it has any deeper meaning beyond brain chemistry the people who’ve had it are describing a single class of subjective experience, and “one’s consciousness expanding to the size of the galaxy” seems to be a common feature of it - I’ve read at least one account of that kind of experience from, of all people, a random Protestant minister who claims to have had such an experience on a vision trip to the Amazon and only later realized that there was precedent for that kind of experience in Buddhist traditions, and he mentions that exact expansion as part of what he went through.  Second, the flower on Madoka’s bow is a rose, not a willow... which makes sense, because “Guanyin/Kannon and the Virgin Mary are two aspects of the same goddess” has been a theory in certain parts for at least a century, and the rose has a traditional association with the latter goddess - there’s a reason they call it the rosary, after all.  (I’ve seen speculation out of a few polytheist/less orthodox Christian circles I keep tabs on that Pistis Sophia is yet another aspect of the same goddess, too...)  Third, note all the mandala symbolism floating around - most obviously Walpurgisnacht’s appearance and Kyubey’s exposition in episode 11.)

And that influence is important here, because part of the process of the escape from samsara is the breaking of all karmic ties to the world.

Except... Madoka does not do this.  She leaves one karmic tie behind.

This one, to be precise:

Now, in theory it’s possible that the tainted miracle of Homura remembering Madoka has another root.  But I have my doubts, and the biggest piece of evidence there is the OST: the track that plays when Homura meets Junko in the finale and offers to give up the ribbons is named Taenia Memoriae, aka “the ribbon of memories”.  HMM,

(That Junko scene is in this regards the single most enigmatic scene of the main series finale to me.  My instinct is that it’s drawing off of Christian mythos again, either canonical or Gnostic, but I can’t quite place what piece; I kind of want to compare it specifically to the Denial of Peter.)

Now, there’s two other pieces here that are worth noting.

1) While Homulilly is described as the Nutcracker Witch in Rebellion, Homulilly’s name and Witch card are first revealed in the PSP game, and there she goes by a rather different epithet: Witch of the Mortal World, nature is karma.  Which is rather on the nose (the Mortal World [shigan] being another term for samsara), but then that’s probably by design - main series PMMM is not subtle at all when it wants to make a point.  And it is this epithet, not the Nutcracker Witch, that the Doppel versions of Homulilly in MagiReco draw off of, which suggests the staff considered it important.  (There’s a second distinction in the latter, because Moemura’s version of the Doppel implies that Homulilly’s nature was originally slightly different again - Witch of the Mortal World, nature is closed circuits - but I think for our purposes here this is a difference without true distinction, much like the Witch of the Near Shore pun for swimsuit!Moemura’s version of Homulilly.)  And there’s echoes of this even in Rebellion: the Clara Dolls are of course referred to as the Children of the Mortal World, plus of course the obvious “Homulilly’s Rebellion barrier as the Mortal World” take.  (Which, hmm.  Hello second-order symbolism - Homura failing to “break out of the egg” as failure to escape the cycle of samsara.)

2) The red ribbons of course suggest a very specific form of karmic tie - the Red String of Fate.  And you can be very, very sure that the staff intended that, too.  To drag a certain piece of key animation back out from storage:

While it’s hard to tell at this size, it sure looks to my eyes like the two ends are specifically tied around the girls’ pinkies.  You know, exactly where the proverbial Red String is said to be tied.

Or, to put it another way: AI YO.

Everything in Rebellion is downstream of this.

But all this is prologue.  Now that we have established the mistake, we can address the actual outstanding question: Did Madoka intend to make that mistake?  People have noted the applicability of Junko’s comments about intentionally making a big mistake when backed into a corner to Homura’s actions in Rebellion; do they also apply to the action Madoka took that led to that?

I am not sure.  Both cases are consistent, and I’d put about even odds either way.  But it’s the affirmative case I want to lay out here, to show that it does in fact exist:

- Let’s start with the one point someone else might bring up that I don’t really weight: Madoka’s final conversation with Homura in the flower bed.  This one, I think, can mostly be discarded.  We have word from both Kyubey and Sayaka that Madoka does not have her memories here; I can’t see both of them lying here.  (Also remember that Kyubey seems to have restriction that is sometimes said to apply to demons, at least under certain circumstances: he cannot directly tell a lie.  This is of course a very different thing from having to tell the truth, as episode 9 alone is enough to attest, but in this specific case it’s a boost to his credibility.)  If there’s an actual argument here, it’s a second-order one; it is possible, especially given her divine abilities, that Madokami was running a Xanatos Gambit and counting on her amnesiac projection to unwittingly relay her true feelings.  (In which case I would have to grab a certain infamous line from another well-known anime: “Just as planned”.)

- That one shot of Madokami’s gloved, scarred arm reaching down through the window to touch Homura.  Operative word scarred.  (And honestly, looking at one of the subs for that scene again Madoka’s comments there look potentially consistent with her actually supporting of or at least accepting Homura becoming a demon...)

- Mata Ashita, specifically the lyrics thereof.  With the perspective of the full series, Madoka’s character song is fairly clearly from the perspective of Madokami, and it’s suggestive that she is not entirely happy with the results of her wish and ascension.

- The fact that Rebellion happened at all.  There’s a complaint that I’ve seen regarding the mechanics of the Incubators’ plot in Rebellion: logically, by the wording of Madoka’s final wish the Incubators’ plan to use the Isolation Field to block the Law of Cycles should not work, since part of Madoka’s wish was to rewrite any rule or law that would prevent her from destroying Witches with her own hands, including the one the Incubators set up with their Isolation Field - doubly so if you take Madokami’s statement can see every world that ever existed or could ever exist and apply it to the Sealed Reality the experiment generates.  Except... there is one way that argument fails, regardless of anything else: namely, if Madoka saw what the Incubators were doing and intentionally allowed their experiment to proceed.  And at this point there is precedent for her doing something very similar; AIUI in her Magical Girl Story in MagiReco Madokami does something very similar wrt the MagiReco timeline, deliberately declining to destroy it despite its continued existence conflicting with the Law of Cycles.

(- Magia.  This point of argument I’m not convinced of either, but let’s lay it out.  (Honestly, even if I’m right I’m not sure how much of this was consciously intended, but creations can have a life of their own - especially creations where fucking natural disasters delay them so that they’re released on the most appropriate day possible!)  There’s two pieces to this, one I’m more sure of than the other:

1) The visuals.  Here’s the spot where I feel most solid about interpreting Magia: the ED visuals are clearly a reference to Madokami’s ascension.  (The show loves hiding that sort of foreshadowing in plain sight, why would you be surprised?)  Note the second half particularly, both Madoka’s hair lengthening and the starfield she’s running past.  (I think the order of the four other girls in the first half is probably how long they held out without Witching out.)  That leaves two issues, one more obvious to Western audiences and one less so.  First, that enigmatic and ominous shot of Madoka in fetal position (appropriate - her request in 10 and then her wish in 12 can be rephrased as “don’t let me grow up”) in the eye of Mephisto.  Second, there’s a point I’ve seen raised in analyses of Connect: in Japanese cinematography, motion from right to left indicates a correct course (unlike its Western equivalent, where the opposite applies)... and for the entirety of Magia Madoka is moving left-to-right.

2) The lyrics.  This is the part I’m less sold on, but once again let’s lay out the affirmative.  My line here derives from a hunch: Connect is famously from Homura’s perspective despite appearing to be from Madoka’s, perhaps the inverse is also true?  I’m still not sure there, but especially if you’re considering the TV version it can work... provided the lyrics are specifically from Madokami’s perspective again.  Grabbing the wiki version of the translation: “The light of love lit within your eyes will transcend time” sure fits better if we’re talking about Homura rather than about Madoka, likewise “with this power that can break even darkness” sure sounds like a better fit for Madokami to me.  And in that case the most interesting stanza is the second: “Swallow down your hesitation.  What is it that you wish for?  With the direction of this greedy admiration, will there be a short-lived tomorrow?”  The former two lines  are quite consistent with Homura’s decision in Rebellion (and I note the visual of Homura biting down on her Soul Gem to break it!), and “tomorrow” is consistently a reference to the possibility of Homura and Madoka meeting again in other PMMM songs (Mata Ashita again, Colorful, Connect full version) - which is realized courtesy of a greedy admiration, no less.  So.  Magia’s full version might count, too - there’s lines there that are harder to square from a Madokami perspective (”if I can move forward without hesitation then it’s fine if my heart gets broken” especially), but “Someday, for the sake of someone else, you too will wish for great power; on the night love captures your heart, unknown words will be born” fits Homura’s fall better than Madoka’s wish, I think.)

- If Madoka’s mistake in 12 is intentional then it more closely mirrors her (unintentional) mistake in 10: she’s implicitly asking Homura to once again do something she can’t and stop her from/alleviate the effects of her making a mistake.

- At a Doylist level, if they go for a proper happy end (either in Walpurgis no Kaiten or in a hypothetical sequel to the same) I’m not sure there’s any way they can get there without using this interpretation.  (In general, the two outcomes that make the most sense to me are “Akuhomu becomes the core of Walpurgisnacht, cue ending scene with Moemura making her wish” (the Logic Error ending, consistent with the Eternal Return of the Self; cue MagiReco as the way out) or an ending based on the answer to this question being yes - the easy version being a movie of everyone except Homura fighting to let Madoka rejoin the Law of Cycles only for her to surprise everyone with some sort of ending based on “actually, I was counting on her to do this from the start”.)

[imaginefodlan]

What if Glenn had "survived"? with his face more or less mutilated and amnesiac (but Dimitri has tought that he was dead). Catherine finds him during a mission and bring him back to the monastery. Byleth sends a letter to (her husband) Dimitri, asking him to send Sylvain for a important thing. When the boy came, she says "I only asking you for a confirmation! The others are too hurted by that" "What?" "Please come with me!"(but D., F. and I. have followed Sylvain without him knowing) (+sylvix)

This gave me feelings.

So one day, Sylvain gets a letter by proxy through Dimitri, essentially saying that Byleth needs him to come to the monastery. It's very vague, and doesn't explain much of anything, so he's already kind of nervous, but he plays it off as a joke to the others. "Oh hey, Dimitri, you not taking good enough care of Byleth? She's calling me in, and being real discreet about mentioning why."

Dimitri knows this is Sylvain's coping mechanism with stress, so he lets it slide. "I'm sure that's not the case, although perhaps we should allow her to be the judge of that."

Anyhow, Sylvain is set up to leave at dawn, but he ends up leaving at dusk the evening before, since Byleth said the sooner his arrival, the better.

Sylvain arrives at the monastery, not knowing that he's been followed this whole way by Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid, who saw him leaving the campsite early. (What can I say? Sylvain's not the most observant man in the Blue Lions house.)

Upon his arrival, he meets with Byleth in their old classroom, and is told "Catherine found someone during a mission. He has amnesia and his face is badly disfigured, so he can't tell us who he is. We have our own suspicions as to who he is, but we need someone who knew the person we think he is to ID him, and we believe that you're the only one who can do this without facing immense emotional distress. Will you do it?"

Sylvain is confused and more than a bit anxious, but he agrees. If he can help, he wants to. Meanwhile, just outside the door, Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid are trying to piece together who this mystery person that Syvain allegedly knows might be. Is it Miklan? Or perhaps Margrave Gautier? Who else could it be?

It's not until Catherine and Shamir escort in a disfigured man with unruly, deep purple hair that Sylvain realizes can only be one of two people. For a moment, he thinks it could be Rodrigue, but there's no way that makes sense. Not when they saw him so recently. No, there's only one person this could be. This is- "Glenn?!"

Sylvain's shocked exclamation catches the attention of the three Blue Lions sneaking around just outside the classroom, so much that they topple over into the room from their hiding place.

Dimitri is the first one to recover and speak when he sees Glenn. "Byleth, you didn't mention this in your letter! How could you not tell me this?!"

Byleth's response is simple. "You had too much at stake if my hunch was wrong, all three of you. That's a risk I couldn't take."

Ingrid and Dimitri don't exactly like the answer, but they resign themselves to deal with it, because ultimately, Byleth isn't wrong, and arguing about it now does no good for anyone.

Felix, on the other hand, is some mix of livid, shocked, and amazed. "You- where did you find him?!"

Catherine explains what happened, how she found him on a mission somewhere along the what was known formerly as the border of Fhaergus and Adrestia. "He was there, just begging on the streets. Seems he's been a wandering beggar for a while now, from what the locals told me. With how far from Fhirdiad he was and how badly he's been injured, it's no wonder nobody could recognize him there. I don't know how he survived, but he did. I had a hunch about who he was, so I brought him back here to Byleth."

Felix spends his time listening to Catherine staring at this man, a shell of the brother he once knew. Once she finishes her tale, he addresses the man. "What do you remember?"

Glenn's eyes widen at being addressed so plainly, and a small spark of recognition shines in his eyes, although he can't quite tell why he recognizes this man and his mannerisms. "I- Not much of anything, if I'm honest. Did you... Know me?"

The hearts of every person in the room pang at those words. It hits all three of the childhood friends hard, though it affects none so painfully as it does Felix. "I- I'm your younger brother, Felix. This is Ingrid, she was your betrothed, once upon a time. And this is Dimitri, the now-king of Fhaergus, though you knew him as the crown prince who you guarded with your life."

Byleth rests a hand upon Glenn's shoulder when he jolts in surprise, sending a soft, slightly stern look to Felix. "I know this is a lot to take in, Glenn, and it must be hard to try and remember. We don't have to explain it all at once if you're not ready. There's plenty of time, and we can answer any questions you may have at your leisure. Why don't we go to the dining hall, and we can answer your questions while we eat?"

Glenn looks up at her from his seat and nods slightly. "Understood. I'd like to talk more about it over dinner, if that's alright."

Felix scowls slightly at Byleth's interjection, but begrudgingly agrees to her terms when Glenn affirms it's how he'd like to go about it. "Fine. Whatever gets this dealt with."

Byleth smiles softly at the brothers. "Alright then, that's what we'll do. Please forgive Felix, he's a bit of a sourpuss at times these days, and I'm sure this is overwhelming him nearly as much as it is you."

Glenn chuckles quietly. "Somehow, I could tell that much about him. Maybe that's some kind of brotherly instinct. I won't hold it against him."

Ingrid is in tears, overwhelmed by the sight of her (apparently alive) late fiancé. She's in awe that he's somehow still alive, and feels some kind of excitement bubbling up inside her at the posed opportunity to speak with him for the first time in so long. "I-" She sniffles. "I think that sounds lovely."

Dimitri, although still displeased with Byleth's well intentioned deceit, is also interested in speaking to his former protector and telling him all about his life. Although, he's anxious about telling him about the events that led to his disappearance and amnesia, and about explaining that everyone thought he was dead.

Ultimately, Sylvain is just happy to see Felix being somewhat less of a sourpuss as dinner goes on, catching more and more glimpses of the younger, more free-spirited, energetic Felix that they all knew and loved before Glenn's death.

[moody-bloosh]

Can you do husband Bruno for the yandere prompt: 21. “All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted was you.” :0?

content warning: yandere, suicide, manipulation, mind break

to have and to hold (Bruno Buccellati) 

You remember.

You remember that the man you share your bed with, the man who calls himself your husband, is lying.

When you had awoken with barely any memories of your old life, Bruno was right beside you. He held your hand tightly as he inquired about your well-being. And all you could give him was a confused little, ‘who are you?’

You wished you hadn’t said anything because the hurt that flickered on his face was so real, so palpable. The quiver of his voice as he said, “I’m your husband.” He made it feel so real.

Or perhaps, you wanted it to be real. 

You couldn’t find it in your heart to question him, because how could anyone be that good of a liar? When you are discharged from the hospital, all the nurses can do is gush about how lucky you are to have such a kind and gentle husband and how sad it was that you couldn’t remember him.

He promised you that he would love you all the same, that he would enjoy making you fall in love with him. And oh, how simple it was, how easy it was to fall for him. There was no competition. He carries you across the threshold of his house, in hopes of jogging your memory. You had agreed, holding tightly onto him as he, still holding you, gave you a little tour of his home.

“You have so many pictures of me, Bruno,” you remarked, eyes landing over the delicate picture frames all with your likeness littered all over the home.

“A home should be surrounded by things that you love,” he reasoned, a soft smile on his face, “shouldn’t it?”

“Then,” you leaned your head against him, heart half-full, already on your way to falling for him. “We should start taking pictures together.”

He tells you that you should forget about remembering your past and focus on making new memories with him. You don’t understand why he worries so much when you begin to recall little bits and pieces of yourself. One day, while you were out walking, you had pointed to a street corner and told him that you used to live there. His hold on you tightened, his nails dug into you, hard enough to hurt.

He dragged you back home, his eyes blown wide with worry and just the slightest bit of fear. He begged you not to try and remember your past. He reasoned that your accident had been so horrifying that he was worried something even worse would happen to you. So you pretend to comply with his words, you play the role of his amnesiac spouse because for the first time since waking up in that hospital. You were frightened, this time, of him. But you can’t help it. Your memories trickle in and you understand the reason behind Bruno’s fear.

Since your childhood, you had spent your days alone. An unwanted child, a burden. As soon as you were old enough, you left. You kept to yourself, you were alone in the truest sense of the word.

When Bruno is away on his business, which you surmise must be something relating to illicit activity, you sneak out of the house and into your old apartment. Since that day at the crossing, he had refused to let you out of the house unless he was with you. But you had played your role as his adoring spouse so well that he let his guard down.

When he returns to your home, with everything dark and you nowhere to be found, he will know.  

You trail your hands around your old apartment, decrepit, empty. Such a stark contrast from your home with Bruno. There are no pictures, just a bed and a fine layer of dust over your things. What could a man like Bruno possibly want with a nobody like you? You rummage through your old things, trying to look for something, anything that Bruno could possibly desire. But there is only spoiled food and old clothes.

The door behind you creaks and instinctively you turn to look at the source, though you already know it is him.

“You lied to me,” he hisses.

“You lied to me too, dear,” you reason, strangely calm. “Tell me why, at least.”

Why did you pretend to be my husband? Why did you make me fall in love with you?

“Because I love you.”

You had scoffed at him then, a sardonic smile blooms on your lips. Even now, why was he trying to manipulate you?

“Tell me the truth, Bruno,” you fired back at him venomously, truly angry, “what do you want and I’ll give it to you, I just want this farce to end!”

For someone like me, who’s never been loved, to make me think that I was worthy of love, how terribly cruel.

“You,” he said, his tone sure his eyes shining with conviction. “All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted was you.”

“S-stop it,” you yelled at him, stepping away from him as he moved closer. “Stop lying!!!”

Your back meets the edge of the wall and you crumple to the floor. You couldn’t escape him now. You take in a ragged breath as your tears begin to fall, “no one wants me, no one has ever wanted me, no one needs me.”

So why would you?

Gently, he takes your hand in his and with his index finger, he wipes away your tears. It’s this gesture that cracks you.

His voice is sweet and tender as he says, “I do.”

It is his words that breaks you. Your heart wrenches painfully in your chest. Did he… perhaps… perhaps he really did love you? Was this love? For someone like you, unwanted and undesirable. Alone for such a long time, perhaps this was the closest approximation of love you would ever know. It is fear that drives you into his arms, and it is fear that drives you to stay. Your love and devotion to him motivated by an all-consuming fear of being alone again.  

While you cry in his arms, Bruno smiles. So it had been worth it, to isolate you to that extent. While it was never in his plans to make you lonely enough to drive yourself to jump out of your apartment. He feels a twinge of guilt at the memory. The sight of you sprawled out on the pavement, blood forming a macabre halo around your head, still haunts him. But the sensation of you, curled around him, so dependent, so desperate, so devoted, drives away the memory. You didn’t need to know that. You didn’t need to know he was the reason you were all alone.

The only thing you needed to know now was that he loved you. He would love you more than anyone else.

He was your husband and you were his dear, beloved, _____. 

[variantia]

ALL IS FOUND

BELLUM.   yes hi this is entirely @anarchyhorde‘s fault, this HURTS

1000+ words of hero Elsa and amnesiac Jin and crying BECAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT

-

“Hey, Elsa… did you… hahahah… did you really mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“What, uh… what you said earlier. While you were… talking to Anna.”

“Which part?”

That’s when Elsa feels Jin shift on the sofa, uncomfortably, like he doesn’t want to actually answer her. Like he’s afraid she’ll laugh at what he says or maybe he thinks it’s a stupid thing to want clarification on. All she has to do is nudge him with her elbow with a coaxing singsong of, “Jiiiiin.”

He briefly raises his hands in defeat and slumps a little. That look on his face is still so… self-conscious. “When… when you introduced me… and you, uh, you said — a-am I really your friend? I mean… you know, because… because I want to be. If… if you want to be friends.”

She can’t stop the frown that forms on her face as she takes in his body language. All his muscles are being held so tensely, she can see the outline of every single one. He’s almost curled in on himself, refusing to look her in the eye, but he’s desperate. He so clearly wants her to have meant it, to have not been simply trying to explain him to her sister in a way that wouldn’t sound strange.

It is strange, of course, the setup they have. A woman takes in an injured amnesiac who gut instinct tells her is not a hero nor civilian, and the man practically clings to her. He lives in her house, and she’s happy for the company, and for some Godforsaken reason, neither of them have thought to take things further. Jin apparently hasn’t considered leaving Elsa’s house an option; Elsa hasn’t so much as breathed a word about him to the police or to her coworkers.

He greets her eagerly when she gets home. Asks her how her day was. Tells her there’s a show on later for them to watch together if she wants. She smiles in her replies, is genuine and excited to spend time with him.

Can he really wonder if they’re friends when he’s made coming home less lonely?

She remembers the moment he’s talking about. When she was on a video chat with Anna, and she saw Jin walk by in the background. Anna being Anna, she instantly teased Elsa, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell your sister you’ve got a boooyfrieeeend!”

Elsa laughed, but called Jin over so the two of them could meet. When she said, “Anna, this is my new friend Jin,” she noticed him getting choked up, and he left the room fairly quickly after that. At the time, she thought he was just anxious about meeting someone new, which is understandable.

It’s… sad, the way he just can’t recall any memories of the people in his life. By this point, she’s starting to wonder if he’s even got anyone who’s looking for him. Family or friends. More than once he’s mentioned that he’s happy not to be alone. That he doesn’t like being alone.

If he’s been alone for a long time and can’t remember if he even has anyone in his life… now his reaction makes sense. He just didn’t know what to do with her calling him her friend. He’s worried that she didn’t actually mean it; that she doesn’t really think of him that way or want to be friends.

She thinks that’s maybe the saddest thing she’s ever heard of.

Who hurt him so badly that he has to second-guess people like that?

“We already are friends,” she hums, gently setting a hand over one of his. “I mean, if that’s okay with you. It’s been a while since I started thinking of you like that. So, I did mean it. I really do think of you as my friend.”

She can feel him shaking under her touch. His fingers trembling, as if he wants to return the gesture but is terrified to. “Y… you… really?”

Silence fills the air for a moment before Elsa moves her hand up to his face and tilts his head so he’s looking at her. “Actually, I think you’re my best friend. You’re certainly the first one I’ve had in a while who isn’t Anna or her husband or the friend I literally created when I was a child. This might surprise you, but…” She pauses, unsure if she truly wants to talk about this or how to phrase it.

“… People don’t like to get close to me,” she finally settles on, in a quiet voice. She sounds younger, almost lost, without any of her usual confidence. “It seems like all I ever did when I was young was shut everyone out, even when they wanted me to open up. And it’s funny, because now that I’m trying to open doors more often… nobody is ever on the other side. Not here in Japan, anyway. I’m popular as a hero, and people respect me, I think, but…”

An uneasy, shaky laugh leaves her. “I’m lonely, Jin. My coworkers aren’t friends. Aside from my family, I… I think…” When did tears start forming in her eyes…? “I think you’re the first real friend I’ve had in years. For the first time in forever, I’m actually excited to come home because I know I won’t be alone. You’ll be here. And you…”

She takes it a step further, and wraps her arms around him. It’s been so long since she’s hugged someone. “You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to be your friend, or what you think of yourself that makes you doubt that I am, but we’re friends. You’re so kind, and you’re funny, and I think you have so much love to give in that big heart of yours… I’m so happy you’re in my life.”

She’s sure she’s talked enough for both of them, but Jin not adding anything in makes her think that maybe he just can’t find the words. She’s never known him to be so speechless. He’s stiff under her touch for a long moment, long enough that she wonders if maybe she should pull away.

Just as she goes to do that, however, suddenly his arms find their way around her. They tighten before falling down, his head pressed against her shoulder, his whole body quaking with the telltale effort of holding back tears. He seems so tired, like he’s sick of fighting for someone to consider him worthy of being their anything.

Please don’t go, she can hear his heart begging her. Please. Please. Don’t go.

She pulls him in closer, rearranging her position so she can rub his back. It doesn’t take him much time to melt into the affection, arms still loose around her waist, still scared that she’s going to leave. “I’m here, okay? I’m always going to be your friend, Jin.”

A choked-off sob lets her know that, overwhelming as it may be, she’s just said the absolute right thing.

She’s not quite sure how long the two of them stay there on the couch, hugging each other. They run their hands through each other’s hair. They cry and smile. They talk in hushed tones, about nothing, about the fact that it’s getting late.

When the sun rises outside the window the next morning, the two friends are asleep, but still holding onto each other.

[ao3-elle1991]

Will you pinch hit again for events?

I love pinch hitting, so yes, if a pinch hitting role is available in an MCU-based RBB, I'd absolutely do it again! 😀

3 out of my 19 fics have actually been pinch hits in events:

The Adventures Of Steve Rogers, Newsboy Extraordinaire - 7-year-old Steve Rogers does not have many friends. The other children in his class think of him as the weird kid who can't speak. His next-door neighbour Bucky Barnes doesn't care about Steve's Selective Mutism though. He thinks Steve is awesome and is willing to fight anyone who says otherwise. When Steve gets a part-time job as a newsboy, it triggers a chain of events that no one could have predicted. A mystery robber is targeting local businesses, putting Steve right in the firing line. Will Steve find the courage within himself to save the day - and even find his voice?

Memento - A deadly virus has decimated the world's population. The lucky ones die quickly. The unlucky ones die slowly - becoming increasingly zombie-like and aggressive. This is the post-apocalyptic world that Steve Rogers wakes up to, after a 4-month medically-induced coma at a military base - his memory gone. As food supplies run low, he and a handful of other survivors - fellow amnesiacs Bucky and Natasha, along with the mysterious Dr. Banner - are forced to leave the relative safety of the base. With their memories gone, they have only their instincts, one another, and mysterious mementos they left for themselves prior to their amnesia - objects that they hoped might one day manage to make them remember who they really are...

First Words - "Handle me? Who are you? You think you're some kind of sorcerer? Don't think for one minute, you second-rate…" Everyone was born with their soulmate's first words on their skin, and that nonsense was Stephen's. However, after finding himself at Kamar-Taj, it suddenly made so much more sense. Not that he agreed with the "second-rate" part, but maybe they were meant to be, after all.

I love pinch hitting because:

a) I get the privilege of working with very talented artists (@ranaraeuchle , @diurnaldays and @nonexistenz were the amazing artists whose artworks inspired the above fics, respectively).

b) I get to help out artists when they've been let down by other writers, and hopefully turn that bad experience into a good one.

c) I get to try writing very different stories/characters than I would normally choose to do. Trying new things is so much fun!

I hope that answered your question 😘 Thank you for asking!

[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (Peridot-specific: A)

There’s one of my new arts - GAverse Peridot in the house! If she looks a little taller and leggier than normal, she’s supposed to be. I find it kind of fascinating that for nearly every design deviation the canon characters in GAverse have, it’s practically a spoiler to even show it because it pretty much spells out the twist for you. But eh, it is what it is, right? 

So... these following tropes (see here for the first post for the general tropes for backstory on why the hell I did all this, and if you wanna see it in its entirety, see it on Google Docs)

Because Peridot is the actual protagonist of the GA continuity and my favorite character overall... her specific trope listing is the biggest overall. It easily towers over the general tropes I just posted. So this here’s the actual biggest hurdle. Let’s see if I can even fit A through B in this. Wow. I was fucking kidding, but nope! Adding A and B makes the links not work! Hooboy, what does that say when I’m already starting out restricted to post one letter at a time to avoid breaking the post?

I make a point not to copy+paste tropes already on her canon character page unless they’re relevant to GA specifically. I went out of my way to use the SU trope page as little as possible overall, really. So while there will be overlap, rest assured it’s there for a reason. 

So, assuming you’re that interested to see just how much I have to say about Peridot with all the headcanons made into a massive storyline, just keep in mind there’s no marked spoilers and have fun, I guess!

Peridot (Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG)

A Taste of Her Own Medicine: When Peridot tells Steven how the promotion she worked so hard to get ended up putting her in the same position as her previous victims, as she couldn’t get away with bullying or disrespecting gems above her in the caste system (which was literally almost everyone) and ended up being the one targeted for bullying due to her lowly status, Steven mentions this trope verbatim to sum up the situation.

Academic Alpha Bitch: Her Pre-Earth Homeworld persona; the Passive-Aggressive variant.

Accomplice by Inaction: Regarding Jasper’s abuse of Lapis when the pair was originally teamed up with Peridot. Considering Lapis was (albeit unwillingly) suffering Jasper’s abuse so Peridot wouldn’t have to, the fact that Peridot not only forced herself to mentally repress these moments as much as she could in order to live with herself – but actively did nothing to help Lapis even when she was witnessing the vile acts Jasper inflicted on their informant – has been one of her greatest sources of guilt and self-loathing. Peridot herself admits even when she had the means to at least offer some comfort or sympathy when Jasper wasn’t present, she refused to do it. Granted, Peridot’s inaction is largely justified; not only was Jasper’s abuse of Lapis deemed legal by Homeworld law, but Peridot herself – her kind being so low in the caste system – had no right to interfere or prevent any of this. It was actually illegal for Peridot to inconvenience a gem above her rank for any reason, and the gap between herself and Jasper was wide. This was also before Peridot’s Character Development; despite Jasper breaking her down well enough to eliminate most of Peridot’s absolute worst traits as a Homeworld gem, she was still far from being the gem who presently would have done everything in her power to fight Jasper and protect Lapis. This guilt (as well as feeling indebted to Lapis for saving her from Jasper) is the leading cause for why Peridot was such an Extreme Doormat to Lapis in canon.

Achey Scars: One of the last significant blows Peridot sustained courtesy of 9FC in Chapter 4 of Act I is a punch to the face. Since 9FC had limb enhancers, this punch left a nasty mark on Peridot’s cheek and greatly pained her (although she doesn’t realize she even has this injury, as she never sees how she looks after the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown – and her three nearly-crippled limbs are a bit more attention-grabbing). Thankfully for Peridot, it doesn’t plague her for long, as it’s the first injury Steven heals in the following chapter.

Act of True Love: The mission that plays out during the entirety of Act I is undoubtedly this. While Peridot genuinely wants to save everyone else and worries for them individually, it’s the realization that Steven is no longer with her that makes Peridot jump into the action. It’s her love for Steven that makes Peridot stay the course and see her mission through to the end, no matter how often she screws up or breaks down. Even when Peridot is struck with a persistent concern that she won’t come out of this mission alive, she’s not the least bit deterred and readily accepts death if it means Steven can live and be free. Peridot herself states that life doesn’t make sense and that everything is confusing if Steven isn’t with her, so she’s desperate to save him and bring him home where he belongs. This is an amusing case where all of The Four Loves are in play here.

Action Girl/Girlfriend: Comes with Taking a Level in Badass and becoming a Hero Protagonist. The latter trope is in effect as of Chapter 5 of Act I.

Adorkable: Per canon, and still in effect in GA. Very prevalent whenever the topic of Steven comes up, and especially when she and Steven directly interact. Peridot’s full of this when she actually spills her heart out to Steven in Chapter 5 of Act I.

Affectionate Nickname: Peri and Dot by many friends, P-Dot and Dottie-P by Amethyst, Tiny by Bismuth, Twilight by White Diamond.

Aggressive Submissive: Proves to be this in It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is. Whether or not it has anything to do with the submissive instincts that come naturally with Peridots is debatable. This is Who I Am establishes that such instincts were completely benign in Peridot’s case (likely due to emerging as an Unwitting Test Subject) until a certain Near-Rape Experience woke them up with a vengeance.

Alone with a Psycho: From the end of Act I to Chapter III of Act III, Peridot’s only company after being stranded on Homeworld was White Diamond. For six days, Peridot endured White’s wide variety of torture methods before she was rescued.

Ambition is Evil: When Peridot developed this during her life as a Homeworld gem, she became determined to achieve her goals, no matter what she had to do or who she had to hurt to succeed. This quickly made her The Dreaded of her kind. As time passed, Peridot herself became progressively more sinister and sadistic to assert her dominance.

Amnesiac Dissonance: Once Peridot and her team land on Homeworld, just seeing things Peridot is familiar with starts to abruptly jog memories of her Homeworld life that she thought she had discarded. Reuniting with 9FC made Peridot remember how horribly she treated her own kind to get ahead. This triggered a domino effect the longer the mission went on, though in some instances it was beneficial, such as when Peridot remembered what pallification was after being in close proximity to White Pearl.

Angst Nuke: Once Peridot has a moment to think after Pumpkin’s death, this happens. Deadly lasers fire from her gemstone and inadvertently causes an atmosphere-shredding wind storm that accelerates Homeworld’s destruction. Once she Involuntarily Shapeshifts into Chartreuse Diamond as she cries endlessly, the level of destruction is upped to Brown Note levels.

Armor-Piercing Question: Falls victim to this twice, both times by White Diamond. Both times, Steven is used to expose Peridot’s weak spot, which leads to the birth of Chartreuse Diamond and Celadon Diamond.

Armor-Piercing Slap: Gives one to Lapis in Chapter 8 of Act III, after Lapis invokes an Ironic Echo in reference to Pumpkin’s impending demise. She means well by it, but Peridot is too far into her Heroic BSoD to not take offense to her own words being used against her. Even when it’s justified.

The Atoner: Peridot considers herself eternally this after her redemption arc. Even after doing many good deeds, making friends, earning forgiveness, helping people, and saving Earth itself, Peridot still feels she could do more. When she regains her memories of how awful she used to be when she lived on Homeworld, Peridot doubles down on this role hard. She verbally confirms this in This is Who I Am.

Attack its Weak Point: Proposes this strategy to fight the pallified Blue Diamond. More specifically, to find its weak point with herself and her teammates scattering to the most likely place a weak point might be in hopes of striking the right spot.

Attacking Through Yourself:  When Peridot and Steven are stuck fighting each other’s dark selves in a duel to the death (where the dark/light counterparts feel each other’s pain and will perish should one side be killed), Peridot’s duel with Dark Steven quickly escalates into a scenario where Dark Steven is in the midst of choking to death – not by Peridot’s hands, but by her dark counterpart’s, who is well underway killing the Light Steven. Peridot can’t do anything to make her dark self stop this, as the two fights are separated between different dimensions. That is, there’s no way Peridot can make her counterpart stop killing Steven without inflicting damage on herself to disrupt her efforts. Unfortunately, 5XG (the Dark Peridot) retains Peridot’s lost ability to endure pain ridiculously well, so the only way Peridot has any chance of saving Steven is to inflict life-threatening levels of damage to herself. Having virtually no time to think of a better plan, Peridot goes with her instincts and uses a jagged piece of the arena’s floor tiling to lodge directly into her forehead, piercing her gemstone. This does work in forcing 5XG to release her hold on Steven – simultaneously saving both forms of him in the process – but it very nearly cost Peridot her life (and 5XG’s by proxy). Thankfully, the always-merciful Light Steven was there to quickly heal 5XG’s injury while the Dark Steven, having developed a begrudging respect for Peridot (and not wanting to be indebted to her for saving his life), also healed her injury as soon as he recovered from his life-threatening situation. With both Stevens worn down and vulnerable from nearly having their throats crushed and both Peridots too weak to actively continue fighting after sustaining deep, direct damage to their gemstones, both deathmatches ended in a No Contest, which yielded the result Light Peridot hoped to achieve: a scenario where she and Steven come out of this alive.

Ax-Crazy: In Chapter 6 of Act III, Peridot slips into this when she sees White Diamond’s neck and is immediately triggered due to the PTSD of the torture White put her through earlier in the act. Peridot ended up with a Slashed Throat from that (nonlethal considering she’s a gem, but it did shock her into unconsciousness and led to her being manipulated into ascension), so she finds herself intensely obsessed with returning the favor to White now that she has the opportunity.