#he never fails to entertain bro

[tboynightmare]

will graham is walking talking proof that sometimes the only rizz you need is having big babydoll eyes and an odd demeanor

[aajjks]

D&D (m)

synopsis. There is a lot to deal with whenever your horny roommate ends up drunk as fuck.

pairings. roomate!jk x fem!reader.

genre: 18+, cringe, smut, crack & comedy.

warnings. 18+, explícït längüägë, vëry gräphïc änd fïlthÿ dïälögüë, drünk Jüngkook, H Ô R N Y JK, ïntënsë sëxüäl tënsïön, rïdïcülöüsly bôld flïrtätïön, händ pläçëmënts gëttïng ä lïttlë tóó clösë, dïrty hümör, änd füll-ön läck öf fïltër, brò ís hórny.

note. I just can’t get enough of him. You know like he’s so cringe it it’s almost adorable and I think I am highly attracted to him but like if this flops that’s completely OK but you know you kind of want him too! BESTIE ENJOY AND PLEASE SHARE YOUR FEEDBACK AND THOUGHTS!!! also like don’t think about what d&d stands for… it just stands for some thing I thought of, but you can guess what it is. 🥰👁️💞

•••

It all started innocently enough.

You were minding your business, well, trying to, anyway, sitting in the living room with your favorite movie on.

You were practically drowning in popcorn, the TV blaring in the background, when you heard it:

the unmistakable sound of Jungkook’s loud, obnoxious laugh echoing from the kitchen.

That was your first warning sign.

He was clearly already drunk. It was barely past 9 PM.

You sighed dramatically, already knowing what was about to unfold.

He had been with the guys all afternoon, and they’d clearly made it their mission to get him obliterated tonight.

You were certain they were probably still laughing about how he’d tried to dance earlier and somehow got his foot caught in the rug, nearly faceplanting in front of all of them.

“EUNWOO SHUT THE FUCK UP BRO.”

Dude, you hate him and his equally insufferable friend eunwoo.

When he stumbles into the living room five minutes later, you’re greeted with the glorious sight of Jungkook in all his messy, drunk glory.

His hair was even messier than usual, his hoodie half off one shoulder like he didn’t know how to dress himself anymore, and his eyes were all glazed over in that half-drunk haze.

“Yn,” he slurs, trying to look serious but his giggling ruins it.

“I need you to listen to me. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

You squint at him, debating if you should even entertain this or just leave the room.

But, of course, you’re never one to back down from Jungkook’s nonsense, so you throw the popcorn in your lap and cross your arms.

“Is that so?” you ask, deadpan.

He stumbles closer, his breath reeking of alcohol as he points at you like he’s discovered the meaning of life.

“Yes,” he says, looking at you like you just shook his whole existence.

“You’re, like, the Beyoncé of my life right now. I can’t even deal.”

“Beyoncé, huh?” you reply, trying your best to keep the sarcasm out of your voice, but failing miserably.

“Then why are you acting like you just discovered the concept of a woman?”

Jungkook freezes for a second, blinking at you like you’ve just slapped him. Then, his face lights up like he’s found the perfect solution to prove his point.

“I’m telling you,” he slurs again, taking a slow step toward you.

“You’re a fucking goddess, and you don’t even know it. I just wanna fuck you on this couch.”

There it is. The moment you both crossed the line.

He’s so shamelessly drunk that he doesn’t even notice the shock on your face.

In fact, he seems pleased with his words. He tries to sit down next to you, only to miss the couch entirely and slightly fall onto the floor.

But, like a true chaotic drunk, he makes it look like it was intentional.

You can’t even deal. “You’re an actual disaster,” you mutter, already facepalming because you know what’s coming next.

He’s going to be relentless.

He sits up with a lopsided grin, completely unbothered by his near-fall, and slaps his knee.

“Nah, I’m just being honest. I mean,”

he raises a finger like he’s giving a TED talk now, “morning sex, shower sex, couch sex… you name it. I’ll fuck you in every room of this house, baby girl.”

You blink. “Excuse me?”

“I’m serious,” he says, leaning a little too close for comfort. “I’m a man of many talents, you know? I’ll even help you out with… whatever you need.”

You can feel your face burning, a mixture of embarrassment and irritation swirling inside you.

“Jungkook,” you say, trying to sound calm, but your voice comes out in a weird squeak. “You need to go to bed. Now.”

His eyes narrow as he leans in, completely disregarding your protests.

“Oh, so you’re gonna act like you don’t want me? Come on, babe. You love the attention. I can see it in your eyes,”

he says with a smirk that could kill.

“You want me to fuck you just as bad as I want to fuck you.”

“Ugh, can’t you be normal for like, five minutes?” you groan, turning your face away from him.

His voice is starting to grate on you, but it’s also doing something else. Something that you’re really trying to ignore.

But Jungkook is relentless.

“Normal?” he repeats with a mock pout. “Babe, I was normal until you came into my life, and now I’m just a fucking disaster.”

He gestures to himself dramatically, somehow knocking over his half-drunk beer in the process.

“See? This is what happens when you look this fucking good, everyone gets obsessed.”

Before you can even respond, he pulls himself upright again, now making it his personal mission to annoy you as much as possible.

“You know,” he continues, eyes narrowed in mock seriousness,

“the thing about morning sex… it’s not just about the sex, you know? It’s about waking up next to someone who’s so fucking sexy they make your brain short-circuit in the best way possible.”

“I’m not waking up next to you,” you snap, even though the idea is starting to sound a little… tempting.

His lips curl up into a wicked grin as he leans closer. “Why? You’re scared my dick’s gonna be too much for you?” he teases, his voice a deep growl.

“I get it, babe. I know my size can be a little overwhelming.”

“You are so annoying,” you say, your voice shaking as you try to push him away, but his damn body language is strong—

he’s definitely not moving anywhere.

Jungkook grabs your wrist gently, his thumb rubbing over your pulse like he knows exactly how to get you flustered.

“I’ll show you later, baby,” he whispers, his breath tickling your skin.

“Just wait ‘til I’m sober. I promise, you’ll beg for it.”

You don’t even know why you’re still sitting here with him. But, apparently, your own body betrays you when you notice the way he’s looking at you.

And, yeah, that’s it.

You’re definitely fucked.

“Jungkook if you don’t shut the fuck up in the next two seconds, I think I’m gonna throw the fucking pan on your head.”

He has the audacity to look at you and then he laughs out loud, and it’s an ugly laugh that has your ears ringing.

Goodness, he can be so fucking insufferable.

But at least he’s cute.

Although you will never tell him that because then he’s gonna eat your head.

[hiddenreamers]

Worlds Collide - Lando Norris x neuropsychologist!Reader

SUMMARY: You're a fresh neuropsychologist who is internet-famous for making entertaining and educational videos about anything psychology-related. Lando and you meet for the first time when the two of you are invited to do an episode on a podcast where people from very different professions sit down together and talk about their lives. Considering the instant chemistry, the fans aren't exactly surprised when the dating rumours emerge...

worldscollide_pod tagged landonorris and yn_thebrainiac in a post:

What do a neuropsychologist and a Formula 1 driver have in common? 🧠🏎️ We don't know either! So we invited landonorris and yn_thebrainiac to tell us about their lives.

Listen to Worlds Collide wherever you get your podcasts or watch the episode on our YouTube channel. You can suggest and vote on show guests on our Patron page.

Comments:

user1: i'd say they have brain injury in common??

user2: not the crossover episode we wanted but the one we needed

user3: he's driving fast, she's a failed med student, what's interesting about that?

↳ user4: omg please be a joke 😭 or a ragebait ↳ user5: user3 do you realize how much time and effort it takes to be either a f1 driver or a neuropsychologist? ↳ user5: high school dropout ass comment

landonorris: can't wait!

↳ yn_thebrainiac: looking forward to meeting you ❤️ liked by landonorris

user6: he called a rectangle a circle and she uses Latin names for brain parts like it's common knowledge. Truly a collision of worlds lmao

user7: these two in one room?? feels like a fever dream

↳ user8: more like a new Barbie movie

worldscollide_pod tagged landonorris and yn_thebrainiac in a post:

This week on Worlds Collide we have learned that a pit stop is kinda like a therapy appointment, helmets are humanity's best invention and waffles are to your brain what fuel is to a car.

Huge thanks to landonorris and yn_thebrainiac for giving us insight into their exceptional careers as well as two hours of good laughs!

Listen to Worlds Collide wherever you get your podcasts or watch the episode on our YouTube channel. You can suggest and vote on show guests on our Patron page.

Comments:

user9: yn_thebrainiac is the only person to get excited over brain injuries

↳ user10: and landonorris is the only person to make heart eyes while someone is talking about brain injuries

user11: when yn_thebrainiac was explaining her job and said to Lando he should hope he never has to be examined by her he looked so defeated 😭😭 truly a wet cat

↳ user12: and the "I guess I won't wear a helmet anymore"?? bro is down bad from the start

yn_thebrainiac: thank you for the opportunity! landonorris it was great meeting you ❤️ hope to see you again soon liked by landonorris and worldscollide_pod

↳ landonorris: just let me know when and where 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

user13: landonorris is that guy who suddenly becomes a comedian whenever a pretty girl is around

↳ user14: but it DID work on yn_thebrainiac 😭😭😭

user15: not yn_thebrainiac answering questions like it's a presidential debate and Lando going idk man I just drive

user16: Lando asking the hosts to repeat the question because he was too focused on yn_thebrainiac? man's not beating the simp allegations anytime soon

user17: that whole episode felt more like a date than a talk show liked by worldscollide_pod

↳ worldscollide_pod: were we more wingmen or a third wheel?

user18: the way both of them were invested in each other's stories made me realize how utterly single I am

↳ user19: when yn_thebrainiac said it's a force of habit to ask how something made him feel and then Lando casually asking her the same thing??? delete Tinder, no dating app will get you a man like this

user20: can I just say how surprised I am with Lando's thoughtfulness? Like when yn_thebrainiac said she's scared to drive after examining an accident victim and he immediately offered to be her driver?

↳ user21: considering the tales of Lando's driving, it will only traumatise her further lol

user22: Lando telling her to continue because he wants to hear the rest of the story when she apologized for getting sidetracked??? 🥺🥺 mom, I want this one!!!!!

user23: they just met and they have more chemistry than some couples who have been married for decades

↳ user24: if Lando was staring at me the way he's staring at yn_thebrainiac I'd be radioactive 📛☢️ ↳ user25: no but really girlies if he doesn't look at you the way Lando's looking at her, he's not the one 🏃‍♀️‍➡️❌

user26: now I kinda want yn_thebrainiac to take up Lando on his offer to test his cognitive skills

↳ user27: if they're in the same room he's going to fail every attention task

user28: Lando's dolphin ass giggle would make you think yn_thebrainiac is the funniest person on Earth

↳ user29: he's just a girl 🎀🎀

user30: I became a fan the moment yn_thebrainiac said "imagine your head is a hairy watermelon with a ball of jello inside"

↳ user31: as a med student I can tell you that it's pretty accurate

gossipgirl_f1 just posted a picture:

🚨🚨🚨McLaren's most eligible bachelor landonorris not eligible anymore? 🚨🚨🚨The driver has been spotted in Japan getting comfortable with an unnamed girl.

user32: didn't yn_thebrainiac post she's there too?

↳ user33: oh god please let it be real ↳ user34: it's definitely her

user35: people out there living my dreams 🥲

user36: why do yall even care?? he's a grown ass man, grow tf up

↳ user37: and yet here you are commenting 😴😴 like what are YOU doing at the devils sacrament?

user38: where's the FBI when you need them we have to knowww

↳ user39: that's yn_thebrainiac she had the exact same outfit in the story she posted earlier

user40: come look girl user41 someones stealing your man

↳ user41: aw hell naw she better know how to fight ↳ user42: wow the delulu is strong with this one

user43: look what yall did worldscollide_pod liked by worldscollide_pod

↳ user43: i guess that's a confirmation huh

landonorris tagged yn_thebrainiac in a post:

Japan treated us nice but she treats me nicer 🌸🇯🇵

Comments:

user44: so they met and fell in love because they were randomly invited to do a random episode of a random podcast? and people still say God ain't real smdh

↳ user45: they better not forget to invite worldscollide_pod to their wedding

user46: guess he'll fuck anyone, when's my turn?

↳ user47: probably never, considering you're no one rather than anyone💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

oscarpiastri: yes, they are as annoyingly in love as they look

↳ landonorris: woww and here I thought we were best friends ↳ landonorris: so rude ↳ oscarpiastri: I have group chat screenshots ↳ landonorris: you're my bestest friend Oscar and you're too nice to ever do this to me 🥰 ↳ maxverstappen1: we all have screenshots ↳ georgerussell63: you're cooked mate ↳ landonorris: 🥲🥲

user48: I would sacrifice my firstborn for this 😭😭

user49: I'm not sure who I am more jealous of

↳ user50: both

user51: they look so good together wtf

user52: worldscollide_pod you guys need to fix your post, what neuropsychologist and a f1 driver have in common is a marriage certificate

user53: ok real question how did he pull her??

↳ user54: he's a millionaire he doesn't have to do anything lol women's ideal type is a loaded wallet ↳ user55: bold of you to assume someone like her needs a walking piggy bank

yn_thebrainiac tagged landonorris in a post:

Hey, did you know that it was a Japanese scholar, Hiroshi Kojima, who popularized phenomenological ontology? He proposed that the dichotomy of individuality vs consciousness could be solved by treating the body as a half-way point between those two concepts. In essence, Kojima suggested considering the body as being seen both from the inside and the outside, now focusing on the intersubjective encounters as part of what constitutes the human being in the context of ontology.

Ps. He promised to wear his helmet! 🌼💖

Comments:

user56: she's everything, he's just Ken😌💅liked by landonorris

↳ georgerussell63: facts

user57: I bet the pillow talk is baffling

↳ landonorris: nah she's too tired for that ↳ user58: 💀💀 bro you didn't have to do her like that

user59: if he breaks your heart I promise to shake his head real hard, repeatedly 🥰🥰

user60: 😬😬 do they not make them pretty anymore?

↳ user61: fr she doesn't deserve him 😐 sad ↳ user62: this relationship feels like a social experiment like what do you mean he chose HER???? Lando Norris settling for a 2/10 is not the news I wanted to read today ↳ user63: wow no wonder yall dads left 😭 she's a normal looking woman, did porn rot your peanut brains completely? go outside and interact with regular, non-photoshopped people and then come back

user64: they have nothing in common and yet they fit perfectly how?? i feel like I'm having a strokee

user65: diagnostic process videos bout to get lit now that there's a volunteer to draw clocks and memorize strings of random words

user66: why do they look like a disney movie couple

↳ maxverstappen1: he may or may not have called her princess on more than one occasion ↳ landonorris: you guys promised 🥲 ↳ oscarpiastri: no, we promised not to post the screenshots ↳ yn_thebrainiac: you mean the screenshots georgerussell63 just sent me? ↳ landonorris: good talk everyone I'll just go die of embarrassment if you don't mind ↳ yn_thebrainiac: I thought the things you said about me were kind of cute ↳ landonorris: nvm I'm back to life

[puckinghischier]

Jealous Nico

i struggle with this one bc can he get jealous? yes, extremely so. does he often? i wanna say no.

i feel like he’s just so trusting and obsessed with you that the thought doesn’t even cross his mind half the time, because you never pay people any mind. he knows he holds your attention, so why would he ever get jealous?

but sometimes…just sometimes, when you’ve had one too many drinks and your attention starts flitting around the room, looking for anyone who will entertain you to have a conversation with? he wants to scream “i’m right here!!!” at you. but he doesn’t want to be that guy, so he just lets you wander and mingle. never too far, though.

and as much as we wants to, the feeling that settles in his stomach when he sees you laughing with some finance bro over at the bar when you’re getting a refill is something he can’t really ignore.

maybe it’s the way you’re giving him so much excitement, clearly passionate about whatever topic is pouring from your lips. or maybe it’s the way this douche is looking at you, like you’re the brightest light in the room and he’s a moth that can’t escape your glow. whatever it is, it has him walking away from his conversation mid sentence, warm eyes turned dark in dislike of what he was witnessing.

as he makes his way through the crowd towards you, he realizes he can’t even be mad at you, because you’re just being the social butterfly he knows you are. all you want to do is converse and enjoy all the liveliness in the building, you’re not purposefully ignoring him. you were actually trying to talk to him a few minutes ago, but he was trying to listen to what jesper was saying before he got lost in whatever topic you deemed so important. so really, he thinks to himself, this is his fault, and he shouldn’t even be jealous in the first place.

but when you start jumping up and down slightly, clearly excited with whatever response you were just given, and douchebag’s eyes go straight to your chest instead of your ear to ear grin and bright eyes, he realizes yeah…maybe he can be jealous and a little bit of an asshole right now.

“müsli? did you ever get your drink, sweet girl?” he tries the sweet approach, not wanting to be overly gruff in front of you.

his chest puffs out at the way all of your attention is focused on him the second you hear his voice, forgetting all about the stranger in front of you.

“nico! hi! i feel like i haven’t seen you in….in….like…thirty minutes ago!” your words make no sense, a small hiccup making you giggle out an “excuse me” as you turn towards him.

he smiles down at you, your glossy eyes focused on his own, just how it should be.

“oh! frank, this is nico!” you turn back around to the stranger, his gaze raking down your figure, making nico see red all over again. you lean in closer to the man, cupping your hands around your mouth to try and whisper, but failing miserably. “he’s my boyfriend!” you giggle out, acting like a school girl talking about her crush.

turning back to nico, you miss the hard gaze he was throwing your new friend. “nico, frank and i were just talking about how fun it would be if there was a slip’n’slide in here!”

nico’s demeanor involuntarily softens a bit at your enthusiasm over the random topic, amused at how excited you are over the thought of a slip’n’slide in the middle of winter in new jersey.

but when he looks back up at your new friend frank, he can practically see the thoughts running through his head, and why he’s also be enthusiastic about the idea. if it wasn’t him ogling your tits earlier, it was the way he was checking your ass out while nico is standing right there.

“oh yeah?” nico speaks to you but keeps his attention on the man too lost looking at your ass to realize he’s being summoned into the conversation.

“yeah! tell him, frank! tell him what you said about making sure i’d be able to take as many turns as i wanted! that no one else would be allowed on it, because it would be my own special slip’n’slide!”

it’s endearing, really, the ideas you get in that smart head of yours when you’ve been slamming vodka crans all night. nico always loves to find out what theories and plans you come up with everytime you two have nights out. he’s thought about writing them down a time or two, because you never believe him when he tells you about the the next day, always claiming you “would literally never say that,” because you’re “a college educated woman, thank you very much.”

but this one? the one that has frank all but salivating at the thought of seeing you repeatedly have a wet t-shirt contest of one on a theoretical slip’n’slide? this one is just pissing him off.

“hmm?” frank’s attention is finally snapped away from your body and back to the conversation at hand.

“she was just saying how you told her how wonderful her own, special slip’n’slide would be, considering you wouldn’t let anyone else on it,” nico answers, letting his voice lower.

“oh yeah, dude. wouldn’t that be the hottest thing ever?” frank, so stupidly, decided to respond.

nico’s dry chuckle is the only response frank got. and either frank was smarter than nico gave him credit for, or he looks a lot more menacing than he thought, because the sound wiped the smug, disgusting smile right off of his face.

“frank…buddy���.just walk away, yeah?” nico suggests, not used to being the scary boyfriend type but hoping it does the trick.

and much to his surprise, it works, frank nodding and walking the other direction, but not before you call out a sweet “bye, frank! it was nice to meet you!”

grabbing your hand, nico leans down to suggest it’s time for the two of you to leave, because he’s “tired of sharing you with everyone tonight, schatz. need my daily dose of hiding you away so i can get all of your attention,” while nipping playfully at your ear.

and, get all of your attention he does, considering you don’t stop talking to him from the time he gets you in the car to drive you home to the time he gets you settled in bed, behind closed doors, soaking up every second of not having to share your sweet voice. he drank it in like you were his own personal oasis in a dry and vast desert, just how he liked it.

[hunnysnoops]

Main Three + Craig with morbid/odd reader

“I want love to change my friends to enemies and tell me how it’s all my fault.”

Stan:

He lets you draw on him but instead of doodling you take a black marker and start to meticulously draw dotted lines and arrows like you’re a surgeon prepping him for cosmetic surgery.

While helping him with farm chores you go into detail about how you can compost and break down a corpse in soil, he just kinda nods along.

You give him tarot readings every week. He thought they were fake and just did it to entertain you until his week played out exactly like you said it would. When he realized he just froze up and went non verbal.

Stan- “Hey, do you have any spells to curse my dad?”

Met him when he was in his goth era.

The two of you were having a moment in the rain when you told him that he should’ve worn shoes with rubber soles in case he gets struck by lightning.

You started writing his eulogy when you were laying in bed together, bro was trying not to freak out. Just spam texted Kyle.

You’re date idea is taking him to an abandoned house.

You guys bonded over music. Now you help him write songs since you’re so used to writing poetry.

Reader- “You’re into music?”

Stan- “Yeah, I guess so.”

Reader- “Have you heard Carnival of the Animals, R. 125: Aquarium composed by Camille Saint-Saëns and performed by Philippe Entremont, Gaby Casadesus, and Yo-Yo Ma?”

Stan- “Can’t say I have.”

Kyle:

Has veiny arms so when the two of you are just chilling you’ll put your finger on one of the veins and start talking about what would happen if you severed it. He’s lowkey interested from a scientific standpoint.

You’ll straddle his hips and pull his lips back to look at his teeth, poking around in his mouth like a dentist. You’re inches apart.

Reader- “Wow, you have beautiful teeth.”

Kyle- “Thank you?”

He’s kinda fascinated by you but also repulsed by some of the things you do/say.

He came to your house and you were butchering your own meat, left right away.

You listen to The Cure together.

When you climb trees to look for birds and squirrels he’ll climb too to help you.

Will get mad annoyed after listening to you say incredibly out of pocket things while he’s trying to focus on something.

He’ll buy you little knickknacks that remind him of you.

Before he got to know you, he talked mad shit.

Sometimes gets super freaked out by your behaviour, you straight up give him the heebie-jeebies.

Reader- “So this is my collection of human teeth.”

Kyle- “All of those are yours, right?”

Reader- “Actually, none of them are mine.” 😁

Kyle- 😨

Kenny:

Sits through horror movies and weird foreign films with you. He didn’t like it at first but he came around and started sourcing out movies he’d think you like.

You took him to a Wicca ceremony and he had the time of his life.

You taught him how to make flower crowns and now he makes them all the time. He likes to give them to Karen.

When he sees something off-putting or creepy he will immediately take a picture and send it to you.

Reader- “Hey, it’s raining. Do you want to go look for earth worms and build a worm colosseum?”

Kenny- “Hell yeah.”

He likes to go for walks in the forest with you, you guys will look for bugs and pick them up or make them houses of leaves and twigs.

He’ll help you wash the skulls/bones you find.

Never really minded that you were weird, he approached you first because he thought you were hot.

He loves when you play with his hair and tie little braids into it.

You guys tried to recreate The Blair Witch Project but failed miserably when you actually got lost in the woods.

You’ll meet up at the graveyard and just sit in the grass while you talk about ghosts and ghouls. Sometimes you’ll walk around and stop at a specific grave and guess how they died.

Reader- “Would you rather be in Cannibal Holocaust or The Poughkeepsie Tapes?”

Kenny- “Erm, I gotta pick The Poughkeepsie Tapes.”

Craig:

Generally goes along with whatever you want to do.

Reader- “Can we go down to the riverbank to pickup fish heads and then eat out their eyes?”

Craig- “Yeah, sure.”

He’ll just watch you roll around in the mud or set little twig piles on fire, he won’t join in but he also won’t interfere.

You’ll talk to Stripe, not in the baby voice that people usually use to talk to animals but your tone will be dead serious like you’re talking to a grown adult.

The two of you will watch true crime documentaries together.

He’ll fuck up anyone who calls you weird or a freak.

When you’re out in public, you’ll point someone out and predict how they’re going to die.

There’s nothing you can do that’ll shock him, he’s unfazed by everything that you say.

Sometimes gets concerned with you around Stripe.

You’ll disappear for hours at a time and he’ll get worried, sending you a million texts then you’ll randomly show up at his door soaking wet or covered in dirt with no warning.

Craig- “Where have you been? You weren’t answering my texts.”

Reader- “I was meeting with a friend of mine who is alive.”

Craig- “Oh, that’s cool.”

Requests are open! I’m working through a couple right now. Thanks to the anon who requested this.

[z0mbbiegvrl]

can you please do dating headcanons with Kenny/Kyle or both? Thank you!

✮⋆˙ KYLE BROFLOVSKI DATING HEADCANNONS

↳ pairings: kyle broflovski x reader (can be read for fem/gen)

↳ an: hope you enjoy this! kyle is my second favorite so hopefully i did him justice!! also here is the link for my kenny dating headcannons!!

↳ cw: suggestive!!

↳ mlist

Kyle doesn’t crush often, but when he does, he will crush hard. Poor guy has bad luck with dating, so at first he didn’t want to act on his feelings for you in fear of his bad luck getting to you too. He’s also scared of the fact, Eric, will scare you away like he’s done with Kyle’s other crushes.

It takes a long time to finally ask you out before a relationship, longer than other guys.

Probably surprising, but I can’t see him as someone who would want a study date for the first one. I think he’d like to get to know you and everything that comes with being with you without distractions. He takes his studying seriously, so he’d want to take you somewhere Lowkey for the first date. More into the relationship, he’ll suggest studying dates.

but only agree if you are willing to endure verbal assault the whole time…

Dude is chronically online, he’ll be on his phone until it dies but god forbid you’re on your phone when he’s not, he’ll start sighing and act like you have a problem as joke.

Not too big on pet names. I feel like he’d call you “bro”, “Dude”, or “Man” but that’s out of pure habit. On occasion you’ll get a quick babe, it’s the only pet name he’ll use on you regardless of settings.

I feel like he’d want to date someone that was similar to him. Someone who can encourage him to be better and change into a better person.

Enjoys a playful banner. Kyle is a bit of a smartass so someone who can also be snappy with him, he’ll enjoy that.

Fights with him wouldn’t be often but they would be big. He’ll snap at you before he just gives you the silent treatment. He knows it’s immature but he doesn’t want to keep fighting so this is his next best choice. After he cools down, he’ll be really upset with himself and go apologize to you in the sweetest way. As the relationship goes on, you guys work through your arguments better and they don’t get blown up as bad as they did in the beginning.

Most loyal guy ever. If anyone’s attempting to flirt with him, he’ll shut it down. Doesn’t even entertain it for a second. After it happens, he’ll tell you and laugh about it with you.

Honestly, he loves the small, more intimate moments with you. Sitting silently together in your rooms, cooking together, watching movies/shows, and even sleeping in bed together. Those are the moments he has playing in his head on a loop.

Shows his love thru actions rather than words.

Kyle is a YAPPER, through and through. He also enjoys listening to you talk as well.

Do NOT do PDA with him, he’ll move away from you and stare at you like you’re crazy. BUT, when he sees no one is paying attention he’ll sneak a kiss or hold your hand.

Always pays attention to any changes you make about yourself. New hair? Kyle spots it. New nails? Kyle clocks it. You probably can’t get something new done without him catching on.

Cannot handle compliments. He’ll blush, awkwardly rub his neck, before stuttering out a quick, “thank you”. This is his routine, he says it doesn’t exists but you have yet to see him do anything differently when you compliment him.

Kyle, the ever romantic, will write you long, thought out texts when you’re apart. You always have a text to look forward to whenever you guys can’t see each other.

PLEASE kiss this mans freckles. Never fails to make him melt on the inside.

At first you were a little nervous to meet Kyle’s mom, you knew just how much of a overprotective mother she was and were just a bit nervous that she wouldn’t accept you. Similarly, Kyle was terrified to tell his mother, but knew he must eventually and didn’t want to make you nervous.

Shelia, at first was a little wary of you. But once she saw just how much her son loved you and how sweet of a partner you were, she softened up and actually started treating you like you were her other child. After school or when visiting Kyle, you two have a little debrief about school drama. Shelia LIVES for it even if she seems like she wouldn’t be interested. Kyle’s just happy to see his mom spending time with you.

I don’t see Gerald as someone who’s as involved with his children’s relationship. He’d be nice to you and respects you but he just seems like the type of man who’s too busy COUGH shankhunt42 COUGH to be involved. But with that said, he’s way more laid back than Shelia. He’s the one both of you pray is home when you miss curfew because he’ll be chill about it and he lets you guys keep the door closed. He trusts his son enough to let him, but not before giving Kyle a small man to man talk.

Ike is a little shit for sure. He’ll make little comments about Kyle to embarrass him. Nobody stops him because he’s just a kid, but Kyle is definitely bitting his tongue once Ike opens his mouth and you’re around. Ike adores you, he thinks you’re so much cooler than his brother and invites you to play Minecraft with him. You two have many worlds you’ve made together.

This might just be the Juno lover in me (best movie that came out my birth year) but Kyle is definitely a runner. Maybe not for school or anything, but he’ll run to your house at random ass hours for a quick visit, then go back on his run. He once showed up at five in the morning; a very tired you and a half-full glass of water greeted him before you closed the door and went back to sleep.

Kyle is one of those guys who says he can’t stand reality tv but you catch him watching those TikTok videos with clips from real house wives and jersey shore.

Going back to what I said about studying with him. Kyle is such a smarty pants. If you need help on an assignment, he’s there to help you, but sometimes he’ll make you feel dumber than you are. He doesn’t do it on purpose, that’s just his natural personality.

You remind Kyle to put sunscreen on during summer. Our boy is super pale, like it’s CRAZY. So during summer you constantly remind him to put on sunscreen. If you’re equally pale as him, then it just becomes a mutual thing between you two. (this your reminder for sunscreen this summer from a very sickly pale writer)

Lowkey, I do not see Kyle moving super fast in your relationship. You two definitely wait like an entire year of dating before anything gets further than kissing. But Kyle is pretty sweet with aftercare, he’ll help you get cleaned up and anything to eat or drink before he relaxes.

[heartz-for-de]

Hello ~ i saw you wanted requests so here I am.

Inwas thinking about reader who sneaks little love notes to Denki. On his desk, his locker, his room. Whenever he was somewhere he got little love notes. Sonething like "You look like my next boyfriend" kinda (bad) pick up lines and cute little remarks like "i like your smile" or "i like the look on your face when you concentrate".

Denki tried to figure out who it is. When someone else told him that this is you/reader he doesnt believe them cuz no way its you/reader. They are too shy to do it. Til he saw you or you confessed to him

I hope you like the ides <3 have an amazing day.

.’Secret admirer.’

Warnings- cussing, fluff!!!!

Denki kaminari x reader!!

Author notes- this is my first piece I’m labeling as an actual one shot so hip hip hooray lmao! But hope you enjoy! I went a little off of the guidelines but I hope you don’t mind:)

——

It’s had been constant. The notes were always there without fail, yet he could never catch the perpetrator in the act, and it was killing him.

Denki was a known flirt, that wasn’t new. But what was new was the fact that instead of his usual mindless pining, he was the one getting pinned on. He’d never put much thought into the sleazy compliments he’d offer any mid girl he’d seen in the halls, it was just a part of his personality.

The thought of someone else admiring him without the knowledge of knowing who it was put him on a constant edge. His eyes scanned the room every few minutes to see if anyone was staring at him unusually long. He couldn’t find a damn thing.

His frustration was beginning to get to his daily tasks, the need to know flooding his every day life and becoming a giant obstacle he couldn’t overcome. His friends were about as over the whole situation as one could get.

“Dude! Look there’s a new one.” Sero pointed with a laugh, out of everyone in the friend group he’d been the one to still entertain the entire thing.

Denki nearly sprinted to his half open locker, his eyes franticly eyeing the metal box. His hands fiddled with the remnants of it until he’d found the little pink paper.

“Bro—no fucking way. I’ve been by my locker all day! Like every possible chance I could!” He threw his head back in exasperation which earned a small laugh from Mina.

“Cmon read it, I’m tryna see what lies you get fed today.” She smiled a toothy grin before letting out another cackle at her own joke.

Sero pushed Denkis shoulder, motioning towards the small folded paper.

Denki opened it slowly, the anticipation of it all wracking at his nerves.

‘Your smile is adorable. :) <3’

He read out the small note under his breath, but just loud enough for his friends around to hear it.

Mina and Sero both began a laughing fit, but denki was still focused on the small note.

Instead of the usual abundance of hearts there was just one, and under it was a scribbled out word that looked like they had tried to erase it.

His eyes squinted in attempt to distinguish what the word could’ve been. Perhaps a name? Or maybe it was another flirty joke like the ones in the past. Whatever it was, denki needed to know.

As he stood there surrounded by his two laughing friends, Kirishima and bakugo walked up to them.

“Oi, you two fuckers shut up. Loud as shit for no reason..” Katsuki whacked seros head which only made Mina laugh louder.

“Hey Dude! Woah, is that another note?” Kirishima greeted his yellow haired friend with a sharp tooth grin.

“Yeah it is— can you read this?” Denki didn’t have time for small talk—he needed to know what the hell they had tried to cross out.

Kirishima quirked his eyebrow up as the paper was shoved in his hands, quickly understand that he was supposed to read the scribbled words.

He stood for a solid thirty seconds before he let out a defeated sigh.

“I’m sorry man, that shit is like blacked out I can’t even read a single letter.” He apologized with a sigh.

Katsuki let out a scoff at the two boys, his sour expression dropping once he snatched the paper from his red haired friends hand.

“It says ‘y/n’, fucking idiot.” The second denki heard your name leave Katsukis lips he nearly passed out. You? No way in hell you’d ever fawn over him. You were sweet and shy and…nothing like denki. He grabbed the paper back nonetheless.

His eyes examined the once jumbled letters, which now made perfect sense as he looked at them closer.

“Holy shit— she’s in 1b! there’s no way dude holy shit holy shit—“ he nearly short circuited from the amount of electricity and excitement pumping through his veins.

“Awe! I know her, she’s the sweetest,” Mina quipped with a high pitched voice “and there’s no way that she wrote that to you. No offense, denki, but you aren’t exactly..in her league per se.” She said in a gentle tone, his hand softly patting his right shoulder.

He squinted at the girl and stuck out his tongue, he couldn’t care less for her rude jokes at the moment. he needed to find you.

He saw a couple kids from 1b right across the hallway and made his way up them in a flash.

They all gave him a dirty look, their side eyes burning into his tall Lengthy form.

“Hey dudes! You know me, do you happen to know where y/n is?” He asked in a failed attempt to be nonchalant.

“So you can go mess with her? No way.” One of the girls laughed.

He was about to roll his eyes and stomp away like a broke kid in a candy store but one of them cleared their throats.

“Sorry about her, yeah she’s our classroom right now. It’s where she spends her off periods.” The taller girl answered with a deadpanned expression .

He thanked her countless times before marching his way to the classroom that had been mentioned.

Once he’d reached the door he suddenly realized he had no idea what the fuck he was going to say to you. ‘Hey! I figured out it’s you leaving the creepy but yet endearing notes, haha!’ He truly had no idea how to approach the situation, but denki had never been one for the whole ‘think before you speak’ thing so he busted through the classroom door almost immediately.

There you were, sitting at a desk, the classroom empty besides for you and him.

Your eyes snapped onto him.

“Can I…help you?” You asked softly. If he hadn’t already figured out your little secret he would’ve never guessed you liked him.

“Yeah—yes, actually. I uh, found this.” He walked over to your desk and put the pink paper on it. He didn’t want to say much, he wanted to see your reaction before he confronted the whole thing entirely.

You stared at it for a moment, your cheeks heating up. He thought for a moment you were having a stroke or something of the sort.

“Uh hello—“

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to do I just thought you were super cute and I’ve never thought that about anyone so I hadnoideahowtohandleitimsosorry—“

“Woah, pretty girl! Take a breath, I’m not hating on your game. I think you’re super cute too. Just wish you would’ve told me instead of playing the whole secret admirer game.” He waved his hands infront of him, in attempt to shush your rambling.

“Really? You..like me?” You asked with wide eyes. You weren’t ugly, you knew that. But your unusually quiet demeanor usually drove any men who’d had interest in your looks away. That being the whole reason for your secret love notes.

“I mean yeah, you’re like the epitome of sweet.” You felt a little shocked at the fact that denki knew what the word epitome was, but you didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry about the notes, I don’t want to scare you away or more so risk you not liking me if you found out who I was.” You tried to explain yourself but the second it left your mouth it made zero sense.

“Gonna be honest, sweets, any other loser probably would’ve been scared off by your little notes,” he whisper yelled to you “but not me! What can I say, I’m a persistent guy. I want something, I get it.” He winked at you.

You let out a soft giggle, his ‘flirting’ forcing you to let go or your scared stature.

“Right, I’m glad you were persistent. I would’ve never told you who I was—wait how did you even figure out who I was?” You realized that he had figured out somehow, but how? You had been so careful to make sure this exact situation wouldn’t happen.

“Well, you crossed out your name at the bottom, but not good enough! My 20/20 eyesight peeped it and I decoded it immediately.” He flashed a smug smile.

You let out a sigh at the realization of your mistakes.

The silence became loud once the two of you had stopped conversing.

“Let me take you out this weekend, my treat.” For the first time since you’d met denki he sounded nervous.

Your eyes lit up at the offer and he swears he almost melted on the spot.

“I’d like that a lot.” You offered meekly.

You weren’t big on dates or he’ll even small hangouts with friends. Yet Even with a bumpy start to the newly formed spark, you were sure that denki kaminari was going to be around for awhile.

——

[11queensupreme11]

Chat, I just thought of something what if the side piece got PREGNANT! It may not be possible but just imagine in the world of the impossible..

Imagine:

Cu: Percy I’m sorry! Please I love you! She’s just a side piece-

Side piece: in pregnant

Cu:..you son of a-

Percy: you say what?

Side piece: you heard me, now that I’m pregnant with his child he’s gonna replace me with your fake ass

Percy:..🤨 (Percy whose been through hundreds of pregnancies of Cu’s children)

Percy:..you-…

Cu:….

Percy: oh hell no, that’s all you my friend

Cu: what!?

Percy: that is all you! You take care of her and the child & I’ll take care of my OWN children (including Kebe and her step children because they are her children no matter if they’re adopted)

Side piece: finally you will actually leave Cu alone with the woman he ACTUALLY loves

Cu: Percy don’t do this to me

Side piece: oh honey bunny you can stop pretending, that whore will finally leave us alone! Just imagine it you’ll be taking care of me for NINE months,NONSTOP, and we’ll be together!

Cu:...

Percy: you’re so gonna regret choosing him as your baby daddy

Side piece: why? you jealous filthy harlot?

Percy: jealous of you? Nope I’m relieved I’m not you. Now since you’ll be busy Cu I’m leaving to go hang out with my other hubbies and my children peace out

Side piece: finally she left, we’re gonna have so much fun! Right Cu?..

Side piece: cu?

(Cu who already left for the milk a.k.a Percy)

Oh god! How would the yanderes react to the side piece getting pregnant!? 😂😂😭😭

THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER HAEFAFVAJHBFSDJCHB

i love how we keep finding ways to ruin cú chulainn's life in this au, we're so evil LMAO 😂😂😂😂

HE KNOCKED UP THE MISTRESS???????????

this is so on-brand tho. he has so many kids that he never knew about so "leaving to get milk" is definitely what he'd do in this scenario 😭😭😭😭

but omggggg getting his mistress pregnant.... i know he's sweating buckets and silently freaking out over percy's reaction. and percy...... omg my poor baby, her heart's just breaking more and more 🥺💔💔💔💔 her husband not only cheated, but he got mistress pregnant too???? 😭💔

at this point, she is DEFINITELY leaving for midgard. she'll tell cú chulainn "congrats on the baby" and leave right then and there. (her kids are free to visit her down in midgard tho, she just asks them to try and blend in with the humans when they visit her.)

depending on cú chulainn's mental state by the time percy leaves, he might actually kill his mistress and the unborn baby. this man does not care 😭 he found the mistress pretty and fucked her, and that was all she ever was for him. if he's in a decent state, he might put his focus on trying to beg percy to come back, but with every failed attempt, more and more of his mind starts to crack, and he will kill the mistress and the unborn baby if he hasn't by then 💀💀

ok but seriously, i feel so bad for percy omgggg this is really horrible for her. her domains are literally FAMILY and LOYALTY, imagine your own husband trampling on your domains???? it's so hera-core, but percy's not crazy enough to target the woman and child, regardless of whether the woman's innocent or not. it's just not in her nature, plus she's HEARTBROKEN 😭💔💔💔

(the gods, despite knowing her pretty well, would actually be pretty shocked by her decision to NOT brutally torture the mistress and bastard baby. it's very on-brand for goddesses to do that, but she just... doesn't??? tbh, this would just make them feel even worse for her and hate cú chulainn even more because "bro, ur wife is a SAINT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HER?????")

the yans would not be entertained with the addition of a possible baby. knowing percy, they fear that she might actually welcome the baby with open arms and that is NOT what they want. it's already bad enough that she's splitting her attention between the other yans' kids, but taking care of a bastard baby that isn't hers? they see it as her demeaning herself!

buuuuuut thankfully, percy has no plans of welcoming the bastard baby to her family. cú chulainn can take care of his NEW family, she will focus on her own. (little does she know her crazy ass husband has already killed both the mistress and the unborn baby 💀)

[hariboz]

. . . YOU’RE WHO?

“their reactions to someone calling themselves your work husband in front of them!”

pairing: zb1 hyung line x gn!reader

genre: fluff <3, humour

warning: pretty lighthearted, light cursing

notes: hi hello this is my first post!! congrats to my jebewon for debuting 🥹 as a pre-bp stan i’m so happy to see them so loved and well received 🫶🏻 ALSO ty to my jebis for reigniting my love for writing <3 i’d love to find some zerose moots!! just hit me up, either in my dms or my asks <33

✦ * 💭 ⊹ 김지웅 ; JIWOONG

ooooh cocky bastard!! (lovingly)

kind of cocks his head to the side and just goes, “hm?”…😮‍💨

pretends he doesn’t get it but he actually just wants to see the guy’s face crumble while your coworker is scrambling to explain

“oh it’s just a joke between us—“ and the guy tries to throw his arm over your shoulder but jiwoong is quicker and pulls you into his side

makes a show of wrapping his arm around you, giving you the most dazzling smile, just amping up the charisma and charm

refuses to leave your side the whole evening and interjects every time your ‘work husband’ tries to talk to you

makes your female coworkers swoon from afar!! makes you two look so lovey-dovey and your ‘work husband’ is d y i n g inside the whole evening

gives the guy a firm handshake when you bid your goodbyes and hits him with the “i’m the only husband around here, i think,” SOMEONE TAKE HIM AWAY IMMEDIATELY!!

genuinely does not care as long as the guy treats you fine and isn’t being creepy towards you

almost treats the guy like a kid that has a crush on you when you bring him up when you talk about your day 😭

keeps teasing you afterwards, brings it up for fun every time and thinks he’s soooooo funny

“woongie you can’t just—“ “well, you have a whole husband on the side—“ someone shut him uppppp!!

✦ * 💭 ⊹ 장하오 ; HAO

oh he loves it, but not in the “oh this is cute” way but rather in the “this is great, we’ll have so much to laugh at later on our way home,” way

kind of eggs you on to feed into him…to see how far the guy will go…

“oh really? that’s so sweet!” “you never told me about this husband of yours, honey..”

you just wanna 🦵 👨🏻

the guy fails to pick up on the sarcasm that practically drips from hao’s voice and gets more confident in his comments towards you…

oh he’s evil!! but also steps in if it goes too far; he might enjoy the entertainment but no one gets to disrespect his relationship to his face!!

the atmosphere kind of dips when your coworker offers to take you home when you mention that you’re getting tired to hao, since it’s “his job as a husband”

hao looks at you in utter disbelief like?? did that guy just insinuate what he thinks he was insinuating….while hao’s right there…?!

worst stink eye you’ve ever seen from hao just staring daggers into the guy 😭

takes your hand and says goodbye to everyone except for your ‘work husband’ and when you look back before getting out the door you can just see the guy absolutely fuming

“never speak to him again.” “i work with him…every day…” “i don’t care!!”

is genuinely concerned that the guy is being weird to you but covers it up with some lighthearted jealousy to make you laugh :’)

“hao, i got you some treats on my way home!” “how do i know these aren’t just your husbands left overs…” you hate him

“you should start calling him the office divorcee.” BYE

✦ * 💭 ⊹ 성한빈 ; HANBIN

hates it but no one is none the wiser with the way he politely smiles and laughs along

except for you!! you know him and you can see the irritation building up behind his smile

all 😆 on the outside but very much 😒 on the inside

you try to reassure him but he’s just like, “i’m fine! this is fine! i’m so glad you have such a close friend at work!” when you can just see him dying inside

your coworker hears this and tries to interject ‘jokingly’ and hits hanbin with the, “well actually we’re not just friends—“ but you elbow him to get him to shut up like!! bro who do you think you are!!

the friendly look on hanbin’s face falters for just a second but you can just tell he’s seething inside

so you sneak him a little kiss and he lightens up just a little <3

he just wants to leave and take you home and cuddle with you he’s so sick and tired of this random ass man playing pretend with his partner!!

but he doesn’t want to make a scene!! because he’s scared it would make you look bad if your actual boyfriend lashes out over a ‘joke’ so he just…smiles and endures it 🫠

looks the happiest you have seen him all day when you tell him it’s time to leave, has a spring in his step and beams at everyone when bidding his goodbyes lmao

remains super suspicious of that coworker!! essentially perks up when you mention him like 🤨 just waiting for you to tell him he did something weird so he can finally march over there and let him have it!!

genuinely tells you that he doesn’t like how the guy calls himself your husband and you promise you’ll tell him off if he ever utters the word husband in your vicinity again and hanbin’s just giggling and smiley like 🥰 yes thank you bb

✦ * 💭 ⊹ 석매튜 ; MATTHEW

immediately picks up on the joking nature of it and actually brushes it off at first!

it’s just a joke!! and it’s kinda cute, right? who is he to assume any nefarious business!! just a joke!!

…right? right?!

but his mood gets sour rather quickly when your coworker keeps lingering around you two..when he keeps trying to butt into your conversations…bringing up stuff that happened at work that matthew has no idea about…

he’s stuck to you like glue and matt’s getting a little irritated to be honest?? there’s so many other people here, why does he keep circling back to you when your boyfriend is here??

when he interrupts you two being all cute and giggling again, matt kinda loses it but not in a confrontational way!

“man, is there no one else you can bother? maybe an actual partner instead of trying to hog mine??”

your coworker is speechless, staring at you two and you have to try so hard to bite back a laugh

he leaves huffing and puffing and you’re pretty sure he’ll ignore you at work from now but!!

it’s all worth it when matthew turns to you and you both burst out in giggles, matt mimicking the face the guy made to make you laugh <3

the guy keeps glaring at you two the whole night but you barely even notice during your fits of laughter w your boyfriend <3

starts jokingly calling himself your house husband to triumph over the work husband!! will bring you a cup of coffee at home, give you a little kiss to your temple and mutter a “10 points for the house husband” to hear you giggle 😵‍💫

✦ * 💭 ⊹ 김태래 ; TAERAE

hates it, wants to ban the words “y/n” and “work husband” from ever being used in one sentence ever again

who does he think he is…taerae is right there?

asks you if this is a common occurrence and if he should help you report him to hr 😭

when you tell him he previously never said anything of this sort he’s almost more peeved..? why is he bringing this up NOW when taerae is here!!

simply cannot comprehend the sheer audacity of that man and doesn’t even try to hide it!! he’ll flat out cackle at everything your other coworkers say but not a single peep from taerae when your “work husband” cracks a joke

ooooh he’s so petty and makes sure to keep you away from him the whole evening too…oh you wanna chat w my y/n? my bad we actually have to go to the bathroom. together. see ya!

has a hand on you at all times now!! no way that guy will catch him lacking. hand holding yours, hand on your waist, hand on your neck, hand on your thigh, pinkies intertwined…oh you’re so in love it’s almost hard to watch how lovely you look

pulls you in to give you a kiss when the guy approaches to say goodbye and just gives up when he sees ya’ll locking lips…1:0 to your boyfriend

cheers when the guy leaves 😮‍💨

makes sure you know you should absolutely speak up if he bothers you, and offers to pick you up from work more often to hammer home the fact that you’re off the market <3

puts on a show when he picks you up, pulls up with flowers and gives you a big smooch while raising a brow at the guy…almost challenging him…oh he’s sick

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Tf One au where b-127 is older than optimus & when cybertron is free from sentinel, b is going around talking to as many cybertronians as possible, happily introducing himself & waving energetic goodbyes when they end up shoving past him to get where they originally wanted to go before he intruded, & then his optics spot a wary red bot conversing lowly with a happy blue bot & something in his processor Clicks. primus- that's. that's his Brother. he tugs along Optimus, who's been apologizing to grumpy mech but also lecturing them about sparing some kindness on bee's behalf, along, telling him all about cliff, why- why had he forgotten Cliff?? how could he have forgotten his hero?? his big brother!! Optimus never heard any history of cliffjumper ever mentioning even having a brother, let alone mention b-127, no records, certainly, but cliff did have one history of a bad crash against darkwing during a race with terrible processor damage ever since that even altered some of his personality into a more solitary, stand-offish nature, so- maybe he-

& then b-127 introduces himself to the red racer mech already long ago alarmed to their presence, bee's grin large, little antennas brightening highlighter yellow, ' cj!! i missed you so much!! i missed you!! big bro!! it's me!! it's b-'

& cliffjumper glares at him, unnerved.

" after scouring All of my memory files regarding this rather intrusive matter, i report with a Strong firmness of there being no record of you nor our supposed 'relation' located .

i either fail to recognize you, or You have failed to recognize your own fault . & i will affirm you, i almost Never fail . "

bumblebee laughs, nervously. cliff, he was always such a snarker!! mirage & optimus cast uneasy glances. mirage mutters, ' cliff doesn't joke. ' & bee's smile falters a little at the metal corners, but remains against it all. "Cj's conjunx!!", the smallest bot brings his arms up, babbling on about his recent exploits, his new & older (sparkless) friends, his new moniker, how happy he is to see them again, stepping in for a hug big enough to hopefully hold the both of them & optimus too!! and then a big mountain climbing boot with sharpened spikes adding intimidation, both height-wise & appearance regarding in general, step heavy forward, impaling ground beneath it, a blaster poised to b-127's golden temple, the user's cold scowl & even icier sapphire optics narrowed with a permanent, distrusting scrutiny sharpened into whomever was unfortunate to end up their apathetically revolted target.

" you appear to have mistaken my history & my functioning. you assume me for a mech who repeats himself . i do not recommend continuing such grievances . & i certainly-

do Not recommend taking one step closer to my Comrade- Not* conjunx .

your ongoing issues only further surmount my increasingly Decreasing expectations of you, small one. you regard me with far too much fallacy, so allow me to elucidate this-- i am Not a mech who tolerates mistakes .

Abandon our premises, or i will assure you, this laser will abandon this barrel,

close associate to the matrix bearer, or not. i will Not allow you to tread so Crossly upon my company . "

bee backs up, right into optimus, and holds there, only to try and halt his friend's attempts at peacemaking for his accidental aggravation ( yet again.. optimus thinks bee doesn't recognize the groans he gets when he approaches others, when he smiles, when he tries to make conversation with all the thrilling trills of a mech doing his best to entertain & keep everyone from leaving him, abandoned, alone, but optimus- .. optimus is wrong . ). b-127 rambles, no, none of them are making a mistake, not on.. purpose!! anyway! please don't, optimus, please, prime, please don't take his brother away from him again. please, don't take away the only mech who didn't have to feel like he had to apologize for him. .. cliff never really apologized to anyone, really. that's one of the many reasons why he's so cool .

he just wanted cj back, he was right Here!! why couldn't bee hug him, why couldn't bee tell him how much he missed him while cj listened, why doesn't anybot ever just want to Listen--

b-127 scours files too, taking a page from big brother's book.

he scoured EM files, to be factual.

mirage's was.. full of hurt & confusion. maybe he was hurt by cliff's disregard. he wouldn't be the only bot. Optimus held pity, & b-127 instantly moved on from delving any deeper into that.

but cliff's- cj's- Cliffjumper's-

Error : no EM found .

& from the frantic way sapphire optics bore into him, trying to dissect him with their daggers, he could guess, maybe --

cliffjumper's no longer felt his, b-127's, his younger Brother's EM either, no longer felt Anybot's EM, for that matter,

not even his own .

not anymore .

[nyxshadowhawk]

I Read The Silmarillion So You Don't Have To, Part Nine

Previous part.

Chapter 20: Of the Fifth Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad In which Maedhros tries and fails to get the Elves to play nice, and then a battle goes very badly.

This chapter begins with a quick account of what happened to Beren and Lúthien. They are restored to life, and briefly check in on Lúthien’s parents in Menegroth. It had been eternal winter in the forest of Doriath since Lúthien died, but Lúthien brings spring with her. When Melian sees her daughter, it’s like seeing a ghost. Melian feels the most horrible grief that anyone has ever felt in the history of the world, because Lúthien is mortal now. The Elves call Beren and Lúthien “The Dead that Live,” because there’s something deeply unnatural about coming back from the Halls of Mandos. All the Elves are unsettled by them, so Beren and Lúthien go off on their own, into the east of Beleriand. They have a son, Dior Aranel, but beyond that, the Elves never hear of them again. Presumably they live out their natural lives, but no one knows when they died or where they’re buried

That’s the end of that story! Now, let’s return to the Main Plot. Maedhros, the oldest of Fëanor’s sons (the one who lost a hand) has been thinking up new ways to fight Morgoth. Fingolfin proved that Morgoth is not invincible — he can be hurt, so maybe he can be killed, or at least incapacitated enough to stop causing trouble. However, the Noldor don’t stand a chance unless they can band together and fight Morgoth as a unified front. Maedhros tries to call all the Elves together in a council.

Maedhros by @kazz-art

(Fun fact: According to a YouTube video called “Types of Lord of the Rings Fans” by Generic Entertainment, “Maedhros” is composed of Sindarin words meaning “shapely” and “red-haired,” so it basically means “hot ginger.”)

Of course, the problem is that the Elves have never been unified, and they’re not about to start now. Fëanor’s sons (save Maedhros himself) hate basically everybody, and their shenanigans have burned too many bridges:

Orodreth is now king of Nargothrond after Finrod died, and he says that he’s never going to trust a son of Fëanor ever again. After Celegorm and Curufin’s attempted coup, who can blame him? A small group from Nargothrond, led by an Elf named Gwindor, come to aid Maedhros — but they go behind the king’s back.

Doriath is even more of a lost cause. King Thingol now has a Silmaril, and you know what that means — all of Fëanor’s sons (including Maedhros) are his enemies by default. Melian advises Thingol to surrender the Silmaril, just… y’know… to take that problem off their hands. But Thingol is offended by the Fëanorians’ arrogance, and he’s still very mad at Celegorm and Curufin for trying to steal his daughter. The Silmarils are also kind of like the One Ring, in that anyone who looks at them becomes obsessive and wants to keep them. So, instead of actually listening to his wife for once, Thingol sends the Fëanorians a note that says the Elvish equivalent of “come at me, bro.”

Maedhros carefully ignores Thingol’s threat, because he’s really trying to get everyone to work together. But those two assholes Celegorm and Curufin send Thingol a declaration of war. Thingol fortifies his kingdom and then just stays there, because his solution to everything is to isolate himself behind a magic wall and hope the danger doesn’t touch him. (That worked when Morgoth was a general threat to everybody, but not so much when other Elves want to kill Thingol specifically.) Thingol’s right-hand men, Mablung and Beleg, want no part in whatever shit is inevitably going to go down between Thingol and Fëanor’s sons. So, they’re given permission to leave Doriath (provided they don’t go to serve any of Fëanor’s sons). They go to Hithlum to serve Fingon, and then after that, no one enters or leaves Doriath.

(I know, I know, I already used it!)

But Maedhros has a few unexpected sources of help. He manages to enlist the Dwarves, who have lots of weapons and the means to make them, and he also has the Men on his side. All of them want Morgoth gone as much as anybody (and they haven’t been given any reason to hate Fëanor’s sons yet). Maedhros also has Fingon’s support, because Fingon still loves Maedhros as much as he did back when he rescued Maedhros from the cliff face.

The Night before Nirnaeth Arnoediad, by @pansen1802

The only faction that remains unaccounted for is Gondolin, because it’s the only kingdom that’s even more isolated than Doriath. News of Maedhros’ attempt at unity reaches Gondolin, but King Turgon still refuses to do anything.

Maedhros’ force is smaller than he’d hoped, but better than nothing. It’s enough to get rid of most of the Orcs in northern Beleriand, and it might be enough to try assaulting Angband yet again. Maybe this time it’ll work! Unfortunately, Morgoth knew they were coming. Before the battle even starts, Maedhros’ and co.’s chances are looking bleak. But at the last minute, the cavalry comes! Turgon finally decided to actually do something, and sent a host of ten thousand Elves from Gondolin to help. Fingon is overjoyed to have seen the first sign of his brother’s existence for centuries. He sends up a battle cry in Quenya. Morale is good! There’s a nice moment in which Fingon and Turgon briefly reunite on the battlefield.

The Battle of Unnumbered Tears, by Mysilvergreen

Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from there. This battle is called Nirnaeth Arnoediad, “the Battle of Unnumbered Tears,” so that should tell you everything you need to know. Fingon’s host retreats, the Men from the Forest of Brethil are nearly wiped out, and then there’s betrayal. This whole time, Morgoth had been trying to wage a psychological battle amongst the Elves and Men, sewing distrust amongst them and making it even harder for Maedhros to get them to come together. “Divide and conquer” has worked well in the past, and it works again here. A man named Ulfang and his sons suddenly turn against Maedhros. Maedhros’ host is cornered, and they’re forced to retreat.

The most steadfast fighting force in the battle turns out to be the Dwarves. If it weren’t for them, the Elves and Men would have been annihilated by Glaurung and the other dragons. A Dwarven lord named Azaghâl manages to stab Glaurung in the underbelly, which wounds him, but doesn’t kill him.

Finally, Gothmog, the Lord of Balrogs, comes out of Angband. He corners Fingon with another Balrog. Fingon fights valiantly, but no one can hold out against the Lord of Balrogs for long. Gothmog cuts Fingon in half with a greataxe. The Elves say that a white flame burst from Fingon’s helmet as it was cloven.

The Final Battle in Unnumbered Tears by breath-art

The battle’s basically over after that. Turgon holds out with the brothers Húrin and Huor to ensure that Morgoth doesn’t win the Pass of Sirion and take control of the river. Húrin tells Turgon to flee, because he’s the last hope for the Elves’ survival. But Turgon recognizes that by sending help, he revealed to Morgoth that Gondolin exists. It won’t take him long to find Gondolin and destroy it. Húrin tells Turgon that Gondolin will still be a beacon of hope for however long it continues to last, and says goodbye, knowing that they won’t see each other again.

Maeglin, Turgon’s nephew (the edgy Elf) is fighting nearby. He hears Húrin say that Gondolin is a beacon of hope, tucks it away in his mind, and says nothing. Ominous.

Turgon retreats, but the Men remain to hold the pass. Tolkien writes that, of all the deeds of Men that were performed for the sake of Elves, this is the most renowned. Some Men betray the Elves, but most of the Men continue to fight for them. Huor and all of the other Men die; Húrin is the last man standing. Húrin yells “Day shall come again!” every time he kills a monster, but the Orcs just keep coming, and they continue to fight him even after he cuts off their arms.

Exactly like this.

Eventually, Húrin is captured alive.

Morgoth is very pleased with himself for having engineered a betrayal. The Elves no longer completely trust the Men, except for the Three Houses that became their friends. Now that Fingon is dead, his realm of Hithlum is completely destroyed. The remaining Noldor of Hithlum (and there aren’t many) scatter, and join the Wood Elves of the East. Living in forests and using guerilla tactics are way less noble than having cities and fighting in armies. The Haladin, the Men of the Forest of Brethil, are also greatly reduced. They never see any member of their host again, or learn what happened to them. Morgoth shuts the treacherous Men in what’s left of Hithlum, forbidding them to leave it, which pisses them off because they wanted to rule Beleriand. Welp, that’s what you get for being a traitor.

One of the only safe places left in Beleriand is the Havens at the mouth of the River Sirion, but Morgoth is eventually able to ransack the Havens using machines with engines (remember, Tolkien thinks industrialization is evil). A handful of Elves, led by Círdan and Gil-galad, manage to escape by sea. They keep a foothold at the mouths of Sirion, but for the most part, Morgoth controls the river.

The situation is so dire that Turgon reaches out to Círdan from Gondolin. He wants to again try to send messengers across the sea to Valinor. Círdan builds ships and sends them west, but again, none of them return… except one. That ship turned back, and sank in a storm within sight of Middle-earth’s coast. One Elf from that ship survives, and he’s ferried to shore by Ulmo, the Vala of Water himself

Although Morgoth won decisively, he’s still not happy -- he wants to capture Turgon, and has no idea where he is. Turgon is the last remaining son of Fingolfin, and therefore the rightful High King of the Noldor. Morgoth’s hatred of the House of Fingolfin is personal, because Fingolfin wounded him, and because they’re friends with Ulmo the Vala. Morgoth also got bad vibes from Turgon all the way back in Valinor. He intuited that Turgon was destined to help destroy him.

Morgoth knows that Húrin is friends with Turgon, and Húrin is his prisoner. He demands that Húrin tell him where Turgon is, but Húrin tells him where he can stick it. In response, Morgoth binds Húrin to a chair on top of Thangorodrim, and curses him and all of his offspring. Morgoth tells Húrin that despair and sorrow will come to everyone he loves. To stick the knife in and twist it, Morgoth gives Húrin a taste of his own power to see the future, and forces him to remain sitting in that chair until all of his family have met their doom. Húrin does not beg for mercy for himself or any of his kin. He won’t give Morgoth the satisfaction.

Morgoth punishes Húrin by Ted Nasmith

As a final insult, Morgoth has the Orcs build a giant mount of bodies in the middle of the battlefield. The Elves call it the Hill of the Slain and the Hill of Tears. But after a while, grass and flowers grow on the bodies of the dead.

The Hill of the Slain by Ted Nasmith

Chapter 21: Of Túrin Turambar, Part 1. In which our angsty tragic hero tries to outrun his curse, kills people he shouldn’t, sleeps with people he shouldn’t, and fights a dragon.

This is the second of the Great Tales, also called “The Children of Húrin.” I’ve heard that this is one of the most tragic stories in the entire Tolkien Legendarium (which is saying a lot), so brace yourselves! This is going to be another two-parter, because I ran out of space.

Instead of jumping right into the story, Tolkien gives us an account of what happened to Húrin and Huor’s wives, Morwen and Rían. Rían is dead. Huor and Rían’s son is Tuor, and Húrin and Morwen’s son is Túrin. Húrin and Morwen also had a daughter, Lalaith, but she died of disease when she was three. After the battle, the Easterlings (evil Men working for Morgoth, they’re already called that) ransack Hithlum. They enslave everybody except Morwen, because she’s just so beautiful. They assume that she’s a witch, “in league with the Elves.” Despite their fear of her, Morwen decides that her son is not safe, and sends Túrin to Thingol. Morwen is Beren’s distant cousin, so she hopes that Thingol will take Túrin in. After Túrin is sent away, Morwen gives birth to a third child, a daughter named Nienor (which means “mourning.” That’s not ominous at all). Thingol accepts Túrin into his household, because he doesn’t hate Men as much as he used to, and raises him as his own son.

Germanic Fun Fact #1: It was actually a common practice in the early Middle Ages that noble children would be fostered by other families, and it shows up in fiction. For example, Beowulf was fostered by King Hrethel of the Geats, making him a de facto prince.

Túrin lives in Thingol’s court for nine years, and messengers occasionally bring him news of his mother and sister. One day, the messengers stop coming. Túrin puts on his ancestral family helmet, “the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin,” and goes to battle alongside the king’s captains and the other Elves.

Túrin Turambar by Alan Lee

Túrin stays in the field for three more years, then returns to Menegroth. He looks dirty and unkempt because he’s been living in the wilderness for three years. One of the Elves of Thingol’s court, named Saeros, mocks Túrin for his wild appearance: “If this is what the Men look like, then do their women run like deer, wearing nothing but their hair?” In response, Túrin throws a goblet at Saeros, injuring him. The next day, they confront each other in the forest. Túrin defeats Saeros, and sends him running naked back to Menegroth, wearing nothing but his hair. Irony! As he flees, Saeros falls into a gorge and dies. Now Túrin is responsible for the death of one of Thingol’s courtiers. Oops.

Mablung, one of the king’s captains, advises Túrin to go back to Menegroth and beg Thingol for his pardon. Túrin decides to leave Doriath as an exile, but Thingol pardons him anyway.

He loved Túrin like a son, and would welcome him back if he decided to return. The king’s other captain, Beleg Cúthalion, loved Túrin just as much, and decides to go after him.

In the meantime, Túrin becomes the leader of a group of outlaws. And not the Robin Hood kind. He starts calling himself Neithan, which means “the Wronged.” (Thingol pardoned him, so he hasn’t been “wronged” at all. This is entirely his own fault.) After a year, Beleg finally finds Túrin’s outlaw lair. Túrin didn’t happen to be there at that moment, so the other thugs seized and bound Beleg, assuming that he was a spy from Thingol. When Túrin gets back, the sight of Beleg bound in his lair makes him suddenly repent of all his evil deeds, yada yada, and he swears to never again harm anyone besides Morgoth’s minions. Let's see if that promise lasts more than five minutes.

Beleg tries to convince Túrin to return to Doriath. He’s been pardoned, so he has no reason to hide out in the wilderness. Túrin is too proud to come crawling back, though. He tries to get Beleg to stay with him, but Beleg is tired of his nonsense and tells Túrin to find him on the front lines if he really wants to be with him. They go their separate ways. Túrin heads out towards Amon Rûdh (“Bald Hill”), a large hill overlooking the Forest of Brethil

Beleg returns to Menegroth and tells Thingol everything that happened (except for the part where he was tied up by Túrin’s thugs). Thingol just sighs and says, “What more would Túrin have me do?” Túrin is a hotheaded teenager who ran away from home, leaving his adoptive parents exasperated. Beleg offers to follow Túrin and protect him from a distance. Thingol gives him leave to go, and as a reward for his service, offers him anything he wants. Beleg asks for a fine sword. The king offers him any sword in his armory, save his own. Beleg chooses a sword called Anglachel, made from a meteorite. (Space Sword!) That means that its blade is ominously jet-black. It’s one of two swords made from the same meteorite by Ëol, the Elf of the Dark Forest. (Remember him? He was Aradhel’s abusive husband, and followed her to Gondolin, where he was killed by being thrown from its walls.) Thingol got one of the meteorite swords as payment for letting Ëol live on his land. Ëol’s son Maeglin has the other one.

Anglachel by Elena Kukanova (Thingol is portrayed with blonde hair here.)

As Thingol presents Beleg with the sword, Queen Melian stops to say that the sword “has malice in it.” If you haven’t noticed by now, any work of craftsmanship in Tolkien’s world is imbued, to at least some extent, with the personality of its creator — the One Ring, the Silmarils, the swan ships, and the Two Trees themselves. This sword is no exception. It absorbed all the bad vibes from Ëol. Melian says that it will serve Beleg begrudgingly, and he’ll end up losing it.

In light of that, Melian decides to give Beleg another gift: lembas bread. In the First Age, Melian was the only person with the authority to give out lembas. The leaves it’s wrapped in are marked with her seal, a white flower of Telperion (the Silver Tree). Melian gives Beleg the lembas with the expectation that he will share it with Túrin, which is a big deal — it’s the first of the very few times that Elves have ever shared their waybread with Men. Beleg leaves with the gifts, and spends the winter keeping the Orc population in check. Once spring comes, and the Orcs are no longer an immediate threat, he goes off to find Túrin.

Germanic fun fact #2: Waybread (wegbræde) is actually the Old English name of a broadleaf plantain, a type of edible plant. Tolkien decided to make it into literal bread.

Meanwhile, Túrin and his gang come across three Dwarves. They capture one of them, and one of the Men, Andróg, shoots after the other two. The arrow goes into the dark, and the Men can’t see if it hit or not. The captured Dwarf’s name is Mîm, and he offers to show Túrin his secret cave in exchange for his life. Túrin pities him, and spares him. (Túrin kind of swings back and forth between doing evil things and then regretting it.) Mîm leads the Men up the slope of Amon Rûdh to his secret cave, which “will be” called the House of Ransom. There are red flowers all over the hill, and one of the Men remarks that it looks like there’s blood on the hilltop. That may as well be a massive ‘FORESHADOWING’ sign.

Mîm the Dwarf by Anke Eißmann

Inside the House of Ransom, Mîm shows the Men the body of his son Khîm (Dwarves really like rhyming names), who was shot and killed a few minutes ago. The arrow that Andróg shot into the dark killed Mîm’s son. Oops. What a way to guilt-trip the Men. Túrin feels horrible (you’d think after Saeros he’d learn not to be so reckless). He takes responsibility for Andróg’s arrow, and offers to pay Mîm a ransom of gold for his son. That validates the name of the House.

Germanic fun fact #3: A ransom paid as compensation for someone’s life is called weregild. This was a normal part of life in Germanic cultures. It was a way of preventing endless back-and-forth feuding between families. The gold guarded by the dragon Fafnir in Germanic mythology is weregild that the Norse gods themselves paid to a Dwarf for the murder of his son. (That story shows up in the Prose Edda and the Volsung Saga, parts of it are also in the Poetic Edda, and it’s referenced elsewhere.) Tolkien is definitely referencing that story here.

Mîm is impressed by Túrin’s speech, remarking that he sounds like an ancient dwarf lord, and forgives him to a point, saying that he doesn’t need to pay a ransom after all. He lets Túrin and co. stay in his house for as long as they need.

Now for a little bit of Dwarf history (we’ve had a lot of Elf history, so we need some Dwarf history): The Dwarves that live in the House of Ransom are called “Petty-Dwarves,” which means they’re less cool than other Dwarves. They were banished from the old Dwarf kingdoms in the Misty Mountains, and made their way west to Beleriand. They’ve slowly become shorter and less talented smiths, and they live in secrecy, which Tolkien thinks is ignoble. The Elves used to hunt them for sport, until the other groups of Dwarves showed up. So, the Petty-Dwarves hate Elves even more than they hate Orcs, and they especially hate the Noldor. The Petty-Dwarves originally discovered the caves of Nargothrond before Finrod took it over and forced them out. By now, the Petty-Dwarves have dwindled and basically lost all relevance. Mîm is one of the last and one of the oldest ones left.

In the harsh cold of winter, a hulking man arrives at Amon Rûdh. The Men all spring up to fight, but the man turns out to be Beleg Cúthalion. He only appeared to be a hulking brute because he was wearing a big backpack under his cloak. Beleg and Túrin have a heartwarming reunion, and Beleg gives Túrin his old ancestral treasure, the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómion. Beleg hopes that the helm will remind Túrin that he’s better than this, that he could be something more than an outlaw living in a hole. But it doesn’t sway Túrin at all.

The Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin by Elena Kukanova (This artist’s design of the helm is based on a real Anglo-Saxon helm found at Sutton Hoo.)

Against his better judgement, Beleg stays with Túrin, purely out of love for him. He becomes the team medic, and uses the lembas that Melian gave him to heal sick and injured members of Túrin’s company. (Lembas apparently has healing powers at this point in Elven history.) Mîm the Dwarf is not happy about having an Elf living in his House. Men are one thing, but as I said before, the Petty-Dwarves have every reason to hate Elves.

Meanwhile, Morgoth is still a problem. Túrin and Beleg go out hunting Orcs, and they’re so good at it that they become living legends. Their land becomes known as “The Land of the Bow and Helm,” referring to Beleg’s archery skills and Túrin’s fancy Dragon-helm. Túrin starts calling himself Gorthol (“Dread Helm”), which is a little pretentious. Even the isolated Gondolin has heard of them! Of course, Morgoth eventually hears of them too, and he immediately knows who the fearsome “Dread Helm” is — it’s that upstart kid from the cursed bloodline! He starts laughing, and presumably sits back with his popcorn to watch the shitshow.

Mîm and his son Ibun are promptly captured by Orcs when they go out to forage for the winter. Mîm uses the exact same tactic that he pulled when Túrin and co. captured him — he promises to lead the Orcs to his secret cave, selling out Túrin to the Orcs. To his credit, Mîm does make the Orcs promise not to kill Túrin, but that doesn’t make much of a difference.

The Orcs kill most of Túrin’s company in their sleep. The rest flee to the top of the hill, but most of them are run down and slain, so that their blood covers the top of the hill like the flowers did. The Orcs actually keep their promise not to kill Túrin, and drag him away. Mîm returns to his House to find a massacre, which he’s not too torn up about, because he’s finally rid of the squatters. Everyone’s dead except for Beleg, who is badly wounded on top of the hill. Mîm takes Beleg’s cursed sword and tries to kill him, but Beleg has enough strength left to catch the sword and push it back. Mîm runs like a coward, and Beleg calls after him that Túrin will one day have his vengeance.

Beleg is a strong Elf who knows healing magic, so he slowly recovers. He searches among the corpses for Túrin’s body, hoping to bury him. When he doesn’t find it, Beleg realizes that Túrin is alive, and goes out to look for him a third time. You’ve gotta admire his devotion to this kid who’s a magnet for trouble.

Beleg by kimberly80

Beleg follows the Orcs’ trail all the way to Taur-nu-Fuin, the Forest under Nightshade in the north near Angband. It’s a dark and scary place, but Beleg is such a badass that he can survive it. In the forest, he finds an Elf sleeping under a tree. After Beleg heals him and gives him some lembas, the Elf says that his name is Gwindor, one of the Elves from Nargothrond who went to fight with Maedhros in the Battle of Unnumbered Tears. Captured Noldor are put to work in Morgoth’s mines, since they’re skilled with metals and gemstones. (The Noldor yearn for the mines!!!) Gwindor managed to escape through a secret tunnel, and got lost in the evil forest.

Gwindor gives Beleg some intel about the Orc party he’s chasing, and tries to dissuade Beleg from following them. After all, he knows what awaits them in Angband if they get captured. But Beleg refuses to abandon Túrin, and Gwindor, having finally gotten a smidge of hope, decides to go with him.

Beleg and Gwindor sneak into the Orc camp at the base of the Thangorodrim and carry Túrin out without a hitch. But when Beleg goes to cut Túrin’s bonds with his cursed sword, he slips and snicks Túrin’s foot with the blade. Túrin wakes up to see someone bending over him with a sword, and freaks out, not realizing who it is. He grabs the sword and kills Beleg, his loyal friend who loved him so much that he repeatedly put himself in harm’s way for Túrin’s sake. A storm rages overhead, and a flash of lightning illuminates Beleg’s face. Túrin is completely distraught to see that he killed his friend, and collapses beside Beleg’s body.

Death of Beleg by Elena Kukanova

In the morning, when the storm passes, Gwindor suggests that they bury Beleg. Túrin is still distraught, but helps bury him right in that spot. They bury Beleg’s bow with him, but take the lembas, and the meteorite sword. Gwindor thinks it’s a shame that such a fine sword should go to waste, and thinks it would be better used to kill the Orcs, and that’ll definitely come back to bite them later.

They go off together, but Túrin is so traumatized that he doesn’t speak. Gwindor looks after him until they reach a magic spring called Eithel Ivrin, which is blessed by Ulmo (the Vala of Water). Túrin drinks from the spring and finally speaks again. He composes a lay to honor Beleg’s life, and sings it at the top of his voice.

Túrin and Gwindor at the Pools of Ivrin, by Ted Nasmith

Gwindor gives Túrin the meteorite sword, and offers to take him back to Nargothrond. Since he can finally speak, Túrin asks Gwindor who he is, and Gwindor tells him that he’s a thrall who was “once” Gwindor son of Guilin. I think it’s interesting that Gwindor introduces himself this way — he no longer feels worthy of his former identity, and though he escaped Morgoth, he still identifies himself as a “thrall.”

Túrin also asks after his father Húrin. Gwindor doesn’t know any details, but he tells Túrin the rumors that Húrin is imprisoned by Morgoth and that his line is cursed. After everything that just happened, Túrin finds that completely believable.

As they continue to travel, Túrin and Gwindor are captured by Gwindor’s own people, the Elves of Nargothrond. They don’t recognize Gwindor at all — being a slave in Angband aged him prematurely, which doesn’t normally happen to Elves — so they assume that Gwindor and Túrin are spies. The first person to recognize Gwindor is the king’s beautiful daughter, Finduilas, because she was in love with him before he left. Gwindor is welcomed back into the fold. Túrin is allowed to stay, but he doesn’t give the Elves his real name.

Something about Túrin must be really appealing to Elves, because the Nargothrond Elves like him as much as Thingol’s Elves did. Also, Túrin has been a teenager this whole time, and only now does he reach manhood. (Actually, like Aragorn, he’s probably significantly longer-lived than the humans of today are. But still.)

Also, he’s really attractive, like his mother Morwen— he has pale skin and dark hair, gray eyes, and the prettiest face of any Man who’s ever lived. At first glance, you’d easily mistake him for one of the Noldor. (After all the pictures of him looking kind of like Aragorn or Boromir, that came as quite a shock.) I guess he cleans up nicely; he has been living in the wilderness for years.

Túrin Turambar by @tolrone

The meteorite sword is reforged, and Túrin renames it Gurthang, “Iron of Death.” He’s so skilled with it that the Elves nickname him Mormegil, “The Black Sword,” which is pretty badass.

Finduilas unwittingly falls in love with Túrin, and out of love with Gwindor. Gwindor catches on, and doesn’t take it personally, but he warns Finduilas about what happened the last time an Elf and a Man fell in love. Túrin may look and act like an Elf, but he’s not one — he’ll die and leave Finduilas alone, and it’s vanishingly unlikely that Mandos will be willing to break the rules a second time. Also, Túrin is clearly cursed, and Beren didn’t have that problem. Gwindor also reveals Túrin’s real name, and tells Finduilas that if she gets mixed up with him, she’s guaranteed to feel the effects of the curse on his bloodline.

Nargothrond. Finduilas and Túrin by Elena Kukanova

Túrin is very mad that Gwindor revealed his true identity. Gwindor tells him that he’ll attract trouble no matter what he calls himself, so, there’s not much point in using aliases.

When Orodreth, the king, hears who Túrin really is, he’s perfectly happy to have a son of Húrin in his ranks. Túrin becomes more and more important in his court — so important, that he can completely overhaul their method of warfare. Remember, ever since Celegorm and Curufin’s attempted coup, the Nargothrond Elves have practiced mainly guerilla warfare, which is sneaky and dishonorable and all that. So now, because of Túrin, the Nargothrond Elves practice open warfare like civilized people. The disadvantage to this is that, now that the Nargothrond Elves are fighting out in the open, Morgoth knows where they are.

Gwindor is worried by how much influence Túrin has, and sounds the alarm, but no one listens to him anymore and he falls out of favor. Poor guy. He survives Angband, is nice to Túrin, gives him a place to live, and is repaid by Túrin stealing his honors and his girlfriend.

In the meantime Morwen, Túrin’s mother, takes advantage of the unexpected peace caused by her son’s decimation of all the Orcs in the area. She flees to Doriath with her daughter, expecting to find Túrin there. She grieves when she learns that Thingol’s court hasn’t heard from Túrin in years. (They actually have heard of “The Black Sword of Nargothrond,” but they have no way to know that it’s Túrin.) Thingol allows Morwen and her daughter to live in his court, and treats them like family.

Okay, I’m gonna stop there! More coming!

[mariaofdoranelle]

so ummmmm........will we be blessed with more of the booty-call dare????? asking for a friend (me) ❤️👀😍❤️👀👀

Leia, my love, there is NOTHING I wouldn’t write for you. Especially when I’m having this much fun heheheh

The Booty-Call Dare - part 2

Read part 1 here!

Warnings: physical injury

Words: 1,6k

Rowan hung up his phone, confused and a little dizzy after Aelin’s call.

He barely paid any attention to the weight he was lifting in the bench press, that phone call took all the space in his mind.

In the years they’ve been friends, Rowan never, ever even dared to expect her to booty-call him. Not that he didn’t want it, of course.

It wasn’t news that Rowan had a crush on Aelin—who didn’t?

He grunted through the burning in his arms, it seemed like today was one of those rare days in which gym failed to empty his brain.

And then something dawned on him, like he was finally able to see through the mist: Aelin had just scheduled what sounded very explicitly like a hookup, about 58 minutes from now. For whatever reason, out of all the hang outs they had, tonight she needed him naked—in her own words, to ‘bang’.

In the few times he dared to entertain the thought of something romantic happening between them, Rowan never thought she’d just call him and very bluntly—

Wait, what the fuck was he still doing here at the gym?

At the exact same moment realization hit, Rowan lost his grip on the weight and watched as it crashed on his chest.

At first he winced at the sudden crushing feeling, but quickly rolled the barbell off his torso. Rowan had no time to be in pain—he needed to get his ass home and get rid of this post-gym horrid smell for Aelin.

Rowan only noticed the two gym bros that ran to help him when they were already pulling the weight off him. He showed his appreciation in brief words—he had somewhere to go, after all.

“Dude, you okay?” one of the guys asked, brows furrowed in concern as he watched Rowan get up and leave.

He would be in about 57 minutes.

˜˜

The following hour was a blur. One quarter of it was the longest shower of his life, but between driving home, cleaning the apartment, changing his bedsheets and getting the wine ready, Rowan barely had time to look at himself in the mirror before Aelin got there.

She didn’t say anything at first, just looked at him with a small smirk from under her lashes in a way that made his brain short-circuit. In a red wrap dress with her natural hair falling in gentle waves over her shoulders, she looked like present from the gods, wrapped just for him. She took a small step forward, hesitantly watching him, and that’s when Rowan lost his patience.

He gently pulled her face to his, one hand on her cheek and another on her neck, and watched it as her eyes slowly closed, her mouth soft and ready for him. When their lips touched—shit, feeling her pillowy lips was almost too much, and so far from that he used to imagine.

Aelin brushed her hands over his chest to his shoulder without breaking them apart, which made him stiffen, but he roughened up the kiss so she wouldn’t notice. Whatever happened at the gym, he could brush aside for a few hours. Rowan could die tomorrow, but he was still fucking Aelin tonight.

But then she put both hands on his chest again and literally pushed him inside the house, which brought a sharp burst of pain. He masked his flinch by turning around to lock the house, but it was enough to buy him time. One not-so-deep breath, one good wince and he turned back around to her, ready to go.

“Hi,” she said in a suggestive tone he’d never heard before—maybe he heard another girl use it, but never so perfect, so Aelin.

“Hey, yourself,” Rowan whispered, tugging her hair behind her ear.

Aelin’s hand went from her hair to the ends of his shoulders, and instead of basking on the motion, he went rigid, too worried she might slide her hands over his chest again.

She stopped almost immediately, her head tilting in confusion. “You good?”

“Perfect.” Rowan leaned to kiss her again, but stopped halfway. “You good?”

“Perfect.” Aelin gave him an intimate, radiant smile and resumed their kiss.

She tugged him by the neck, leaning her back against the wall and bringing him with her. This kiss felt more heated, it felt like something shifted as Rowan bit her lip and Aelin pulled the short strands of his hair, as if that torturous hunger for each other alone made the world stop.

She took the air out of his lungs in a way that made it physically impossible to breathe, and that’s how perfect his Fireheart felt tonight.

While sucking the skin of his neck, she fumbled with the buttons of his short-sleeved shirt and gaped when it was wide open.

“Rowan, your chest—“

“I know,” he said and kissed her again. Rowan took good care of his body, he wasn’t shy about it.

“No, that’s not…” Aelin pushed him back gently this time and stared into his chest with widened eyes.

He looked down to find that an explosion of red and purple adorned his chest, in a shape that resembled the barbell that fell on him an hour ago.

“This looks like some fighting pit shit,” Aelin murmured, then looked straight into his eyes and snapped, “You’re not fucking around with that, are you?”

Because of her visible distress, Rowan told her a cleaner, less horny version of his story.

“A weight—what weight?” Aelin sized the bruise across his chest and asked, “That one you do with two hands? How heavy was it?”

“Heavy.” Giving her the real answer wouldn’t help on his case.

Aelin squeezed her eyes shut and her shoulders dropped with a heavy sigh, as if whatever she was considering pained her.

“Put your shirt back on.”

“I— what?”

She picked his shirt from the floor and stood behind him to help him get dressed. “Try not to move your torso, just—“ Rowan thrust his arms out behind him to aid her, but it only made her curse under her breath and urge him to be careful.

˜˜

The prospect of fucking Aelin must’ve worked like an adrenaline shot, because once it was off the table, his ribs started hurting like a bitch. The doctor put him on painkillers now, which turned excruciating pain into a discomfort of sorts.

Trapped in this ER—more precisely, between one wall and three sides of the privacy curtain the nurse had closed—Rowan was glad he had Aelin to look at. She only left his side when absolutely required to, during his X-Ray, and now waited for the results with him, on a chair while he sat on a hospital bed, naked from the waist up.

They didn’t talk much, not if he excluded the amount of times she called him an idiot for dropping that weight; in fact, the last real conversation they had was that godsdamned phone call. Apart from holding his hand and some casual touches here and there, Rowan had no idea where he stood with her anymore. Every look she gave him was a kaleidoscope of worry and appreciation and something else he couldn’t pinpoint, it was absolutely nerve-wrecking now that his mental energy wasn’t channeled into his own physical pain.

Rowan cleared his throat. “About our phone call.”

“What about it?”

He looked down at that bruise that looked worse by the minute. “I’m pretty sure this thing is gonna compromise my performance tonight.”

Aelin blinked, her face morphing in a way that ‘disbelief’ didn’t sound enough to what she seemed to feel.

“Rowan, you’re injured. There won’t be a performance at all.”

Shit. He suspected that might happen, but he didn’t anticipate this crumpling weight on his chest when the answer finally came.

He had one chance, one job to do. And he fucking ruined it.

“I’m sorry. I know I won’t be able to do that in a way you deserve and…” Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think of a way to screw this up less than he already did. “Do you think we can at least salvage the friendship?”

Aelin tilted her head, a silent sign that she lost him.

Feeling his cheeks heat, Rowan explained, “You have… urges that I can’t meet in the timeframe you need me to.”

“What? No!” She straightened in her seat and kept strong eye contact as she said, “I booty-called you. It’s a sacred rite in modern society, I can’t un-booty-call you now.

Rowan was about to put his own desire aside and call out that insane logic when the sound of Dr. Towers opening their privacy curtain interrupted the conversation.

Black sheet against luminous board, two imperceptible stripes disturbing the transparent that symbolized his bones meant that he was fucked. Two broken bones, two women glaring at him in that curtained cubicle; Dr. Towers had a bland, teacher-like sort of death stare, but he avoided meeting Aelin’s—especially when the doctor warned that his tiny fracture could’ve been much worse, given the amount of weight he lifted.

“I want you in bed for a week, in the very least. The pain you feel will tell a lot of what to do and when, but no strenuous activities for the next six weeks.”

Aelin raised her hand to ask, “What about strenuous activities in bed?”

“Well, that depends on how strenuous this activity is,” the doctor said, struggling not to laugh. “Let’s give it two to three weeks if you go easy on him.”

Dr. Towers put too much faith in him. Rowan would easily break two more ribs just to fuck Aelin tonight.

A/N: 🕊️ goodbye goodbye goodbye their fuckfest was bigger than the whole sky 🕊️

PART 3 HERE

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[skiesficz]

enhypen in a british highschool ˚ ༘ 🇬🇧⋆｡˚

enhypen rambles

catagory: silly! and fluff?

tws: mentions of alcohol

summary: just silly situations that enhypen woild be in or what enhypen woild be like in a basic british highschool

a/n: i’m working on a request at the moment yay!! so here’s this little drabble to keep you all entertained while i work on my request fic 💗 i’m from scotland so i’ve tried to make it more english based but idk 😓 hope you all enjoy!

heeseung 🐹:

★ definitely a roadman, but not one of those super hardcore ones, he’s one of the ones you’d secretly think is hot but never tell him

★ he’s actually really nice and friendly, just maybe school isn’t the path for him

★ CDT warrior, takes all 3 of the CTD subjects (engineering, design and graphic communication) he also takes maths and english

★ in a little gang with jake, ni-ki and sunoo and they spend most of their time out of school together drinking, gaming or whatever else boys do

★ pokes holes in radnor fizzes and sprays it at S1s/year 7s if they annoy him or skip him in the cafeteria line

jay 🐈‍⬛:

★ he’s that one “alternative” kid that all the girls fawn over because he’s not a road-man, but not a total loser!

★ he spends his lunchtimes in music with his lucky girlfriend who would definitely be an art student

★ he takes music, music tech, english, maths and chemistry and he gets As in both of the music subjects and then higher than average grades in everything else

★ friend group with jungwon and sunghoon and they all go to coffee shops to study together after school after their extracurriculars!

★ is defos in the school band on guitar and bass because bro can do both and devour, this makes girls go mental over him, but he’s loyal to his girl

★ is probably ACE/DEUX in music or music tech, nobody is surprised when this is announced

jake 🐶:

★ again, another hot but not quite roadman roadman, he’s more ned than heeseung but not enough ned to be considered an asshole

★ he has beef with the whole english department, especially the head of the subject, they couldn’t drag him into english for the life of him but he loves the science department, especially the physics teachers since he does so well

★ takes maths, physics, engineering, business and spanish (but is failing spanish miserably)

★ hides away in the bathrooms when he can’t be bothered with classes but SLT drags him, and usually ni-ki out too along with him

★ sunoo, jake, ni-ki and heeseung tesco trips during all the useless periods (pse, religious and study periods)

★ he once got drunk and fell down a hill with heeseung and ni-ki, sunoo filmed it and accidentally sent it to a classmate and it ended up on the schools belters page less than a week later

sunghoon 🐧:

★ this man shows up in FULL uniform, shirt, tie, blazer, dress shoes the whole lot, but nobody makes fun of him for it

★ school captain, ACE/DEUX in maths and english, got straight As in all of his subjects

★ takes english, maths, chemistry, modern studies and history

★ he is always tutoring jay and jungwon, not because they necessarily need it, because they all enjoy it

★ he is weirdly respected by everyone, he’s quiet but is friends with everyone, he’s even friendly with the hardcore neds, everyone likes him and so do all the girls, but he likes to focus on his studies

★ is on the school football team, he doesn’t look like the type, but he is also the captain and is surprisingly really good at the sport

sunoo 🦊:

★ he fake tans on the weekends, but it’s not actually too patchy, probably just a little around his hands

★ he hangs around heeseung, jake and ni-ki but most definitely isn’t a ned. he probably has a gf/bf whos relatively normal or a little bit of an outcast so him and his little friend group keeps an eye out on them

★ he takes english, graphic communication, biology, spanish (to help jake) and business

★ refuses to take part in PE, this boy will not break a sweat and run the risk of smelling bad or looking messy during the school day, so the pe department hate him

★ he was the first boy year to come out as bi in like year 7 and he expected to be bullied or shunned out, but everyone was really nice to him and his friends look out for him

★ is that guy to carry around stuff for his girl friends, like you forgot a pad/tampon, sunoo is probably carrying one around just in case! he’s a girls boy, but mostly hangs around jake, heeseung and ni-ki

jungwon 🐱:

★ all the girls find him cute, not hot, but genuinely the cutest, sweetest and friendliest guy in their year

★ he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he’s too scared that she’ll break up with him and then his grades will slip

★ he takes english, maths, drama, media studies and music, so he’s pretty close with the creative arts department and the english department

★ his grades are really good and he enjoys studying with jay and sunghoon in his spare time! he always picks the café or boba shop if they all have enough money!

★ he runs the school drama club and is a very talented actor! he usually gets the male lead roll, and nobody ever complains because he’s always the best fit for it

★ jungwon and jay go to sunghoon’s football games, jungwon and sunghoon go to jay’s concerts/gigs and sunghoon and jay go to jungwons preformances, they’re the closest friend group in their year!

ni-ki 🐥:

★ instead of writing “riki” on his work he always writes “ni-ki” because it makes him feel cool (hint: it’s not)

★ SLTs worst nightmare, he’s always skiving, or in the bathrooms for too long, or leaving in the middle of classes if he’s bored, easily has the worst grades in his friend group

★ he takes english, maths, woodwork, computing and admin

★ he’s the year below his friends so he always skips classes to spend time with them before they leave school and he’ll be by himself, which people think is cute

★ he gets along really well with his woodworking teacher, they’re the only teacher to get through to him and encourage him to work, so he has an A in that subject

★ doesn’t have a girlfriend but is in a situationship which sunoo helps him figure out so then ni-ki can actually date her, while jake and heeseung just sit taking the piss out of him

thank you for reading!! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

masterlist here .ᐟ.ᐟ

requests: closed ❤️

[fatuismooches]

Random Dot analysis:

The interesting thing about Dottore is that while the most popular fanon about him is that his underlings fear him, canonically it's the complete opposite.

He deadass has an army of simps working for him, I had never ran into a Fatui NPC that has expressed fear about him, and instead they speak about him in reverence.

The most obvious one is during the AQ where a fatui agent expressed disappointment upon realising that Dottore would be leaving Sumeru soon, saying that he had only seen the lord once.

And it seems that Dottore actually talks to his subordinates often, especially when in the same conversation, the agents (who didn't know about the segment's existence thus not realising that they spoke to different versions of the Doctor) casually compared how their conversations went, one said that Dottore was dismissive while the other said he was all smiles.

The people who work for him are ridiculously dedicated, the fungi event with that one guy who for some reason - thought that a device that controls fungi would impress Dottore, he did all that to earn his recognition. (It would have been more impressive if the device controlled literally ANYTHING besides fungi, but eh whatever) Note: The guy has said in CN expressively something along the lines of "beloved/dear" lord, not the direct translation but it was affectionate.

Then there's that one dude who stayed behind after the (failed) aranara lure experiments, I don't remember much about him but I don't think he said anything bad about Dottore, other than saying that he had stayed behind because he felt responsibility to take care of the kids after subjecting them into a mission like that.

Cut to the two Fatui peeps on Mondstadt who gush about him after the Sumeru quest, and I'm pretty sure we met another fatui dude in the desert who decided to go against orders and go the extra mile of attempting to kidnap desert dwellers to present as test subjects to again - impress Dottore. I think this was a Jeht quest?

Oh, and in the manwha, it's briefly mentioned that Dottore does reward efforts handsomely.

Tldr:

Fanon - Dottore is cruel, he terrifies everyone who works under him and they always walk around eggshells with him.

Canon: Dottore gives high reward for efforts, he has too many simps that sings him praises and they're literally scrambling to be in the same room as him.

Conclusion, we need more dottore simps in fan content. Because not only is it more accurate, but its also funnier for Dottore to be followed by a hoard of fans.

ALRIGHT YOU HAVE ME THERE... I went back and reread the dialogue for the agents for when Dottore was leaving and phew you're right, lol now that i realize it's pretty entertaining!!

But now i have questions. How many agents know that Dottore has segments? The ones that do know, are they not allowed to spread this...? I'd think the news would be all over the recruits but I guess not. And I guess these segments are ridiculously similar physically/appearance wise too. 😭 And the ones that don't know, do they just think their Harbinger has multiple different personalities or something?? I need more NPCs talking about Dottore.

ELCHIGEN. THE FUNGI NPC GUY WAS SO FUNNY. I still have screenshots of when he spoke about Dottore omg, bro was DEDICATED. Literally created a whole scheme and put his life on the line just to get Dottore to notice him... i respect the energy tbh. I do wonder why he loved Dottore so much in the first place, i really think there's a lot more to his character than we've seen firsthand. I also went back and reread the other stuff you mentioned on the wiki and omg 😭😭 i cant believe i forgot this stuff happened, it's been so long since Sumeru 😭 it's so funny to think about how they're piling more crimes on themselves just for Dottore 😭 i wonder if he's aware of how favorable these agents view him?

Though I do think it may differ from segment to segment. Krupp was pretty scared of Webttore. It's also kind of funny to think people were more scared of Scaramouche than Dottore. 💀

You have me thinking many thoughts, and this has given me much brainrot, will keep in mind for future fics, i have been enlightened.

[marengogo]

UGH!-10: It's Too Early For This Shit

Nuts - by RM  [Right Place, Wrong Person]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I’d share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

⚠️ super angry post ahead ⚠️

I've just opened the blue bird App and I'm already done for the day.

"the travel show should've been these two. I'm very fond of their dynamic", "so true. It would've been more interesting more fun and less drama", "Heavy on the less drama. We'd also be having discussions too, the way we are massively ignoring the current one is sending me-", "ikrrr😭😭 also actual and long conversations between them" ...

Is it so fucking hard to just not give into the people you swear on your life you are "protecting your fave" from? Is it so hard respecting your faves decisions? Is it so hard to ... I dunno ... express your frustration without having to shit on someone else who has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

So you are frustrated that 🐰solos, 🐻solos, and 🐰🐻ers are in 🐥's business as always? Okay. AND? That should never stop you from watching the show your fave worked so hard on! You support your fave, you show him that his will, wishes and opinions do matter and YOU REPORT THE MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU IGNORE THE MOTHERFUCKERS, AND YOU MOVE THE FUCK ON, FFS!

It is really as simple as that.

KPOPPIES and their mamas have been against 875 since time immemorial, yet here we are, supporting them because supposedly we think they are worth our support and them pursing their dreams. Imagine going "I wish 875 disbanded because we have to report antis everyday" ... in 2024? on the Blue Bird App? Really now?? Where've you been Fam?! On Blue Bird Dot Com IT BE LIKE THAT. In K-MEDIA it be like that. In The Streets of the World with ignorant people It be Like THAT!!

Being AMI is not easy. It is frustrating many a time, it is angering many a time, it is downright aggravating many a time, but you'll never see me disrespect ANY of the members because other people in the world are dickheads. NO BRO.

You sad? Stay off SM for a day or two. You mad? Bitch with your friends offline, rant on a post, and/or start boxing, I dunno! But whatever it is ALWAYS 👏🏾 AIM 👏🏾 YOUR 👏🏾 RAGE 👏🏾 AT 👏🏾 THE 👏🏾 RIGHT 👏🏾 TARGET 👏🏾 .

Certain people resorting to hate 🐥 and viceversa IS NEVER going to be 🐰's fault and viceversa .

🐥 loves all his hyungs, and arguably 🐿️ is the one he is closest to. But he also loves all "his" maknaes, and you don't have to believe he is even close to 🐰 but YOU WILL RESPECT the fact that for a good 7 years at the very least ever since GCF Tokyo came to be, both 🐥 and 🐰 seem to really not give TWO FLYING FUCKS about what any of us have to say about the time they choose to spend together. So much so that, not only did they do a whole show together, but where and with whom are they now? 🦻🏾 ...

Yes. I thought so.

Also more interesting more fun ... actual and long conversations you are just a hating hoe for that. Two people not being chatterboxes doesn't mean there is anything wrong with tem. Not your cup of tea? Move on alone, no need to shit on it. Sure 🐥🐿️ may have a more "marketable" dynamic from 🐥🐰 but maybe, just maybe, 🐥 wasn't completely aiming at entertaining, in fact on multiple occasions they even said they weren't sure if this would air at all, but they weren't bothered.

In fact, if you ask me, this particular show aired because it wasn't like every other show so hellbent on trying to entertain. It aired because this were two people who actually ended up entertaining while constantly reminding themselves that they had to, and mainly failing to do so. So fuck you wholeheartedly.

If any of the other members want to have their show I'll be up for any pairing, any trio, etc and it will be just as special and interesting in its own way. If it ends up being shit ... I can assure you it will probably not air which would be a shame because i would watch anything my boys want to show us.

Just, it would be great if for once, some people could stop the hate-comparison and try the appreciation-despite, it goes a long way, and for the looks of it, 🐥 & 🐰 are not going to stop until their 50 so ... yeah.

I'm so fucking angry obviously,

Marengo.

PS - If anyone tries to come at me saying that I hate 🐥🐿️ I'LL END YOU.

[thekingwhereitallends]

After reading the latest chapter of Record of Ragnarok (the 97th issue), it was revealed that Zeus, Satan, Ymir and Chaos were said to be the supreme entities in the world who governed over all in the ancient times, billions of years before the present time events.

Yggdrasil commands the eradication of weak gods, and for that 11 of 88 primordial gods aim to fulfill the world tree's will. But the remaining 77 primordial gods stand for the lesser gods and oppose the followers of Yggdrasil, but the were unmatched so they were forced to desolate the tree and banish those who served it.

This surely is way before Zeus was born, as he should have been present in the war either on Odin's or on Izanagi's side, but that is not case for Zeus was no primordial. It would be disingenuous to claim that Odin is more powerful than Zeus for being labeled as one of the supreme deities during the unholy reign of primordials, as Zeus was hailed as the strongest god and even performed at a level that is yet to be surpassed, also he had killed his father who was the very personification of time without bringing turmoil to the universe, and he accompolished that by only sacrificing his jaw.

It seems that Zeus may not be evil afterall, or perhaps the lesser evil compared to Odin and other primordial gods. So far, Zeus has been depicted as a perverted old man seeking entertainment through battle and is cunning, but if we take a look at Brunhilde we know that it would be unfair if we judge him too harshly. Mankind are scums and no more righteous than Gods. Those who disagree may be living in a bubble.

Why did Hades imprison Siegfried then? I theorize he had seen through Odin's schemes but since had only knowledge of tales but no physical evidence, he had no choice but to frame and banish Siegfriend within tartarus, for the greater good. Hades may be the most knowledgeable god as we hear from what no one else has been informed about, which in turn makes everyone else look uneducated and clueless.

Based on the personality and my intuition, i can see that followers of Zeus which includes Hades, Shiva, Izanagi, Beelzebub and perhaps Anubis (because why not?) are those that have/had stood in the right side of the history by advocating for those who were powerless in the face of terrible might of Odin, Satan, Chaos and Ymir. And since Hades called Jehovah his "bro", and Jesus was rooting for humans, i expect the abrahamic god to be the benevolent deity and not a malevolent one.

Just an observation, and parts of the prediction might turn out to be false. But hey, we can still discuss possibilities and have fun while we are excited for the release of next chapter.

Chapter 97 was great, Record of Ragnarok never fails to impress me. Lovely💛