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#he never fully understood
maingh0st · 5 months
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i dont think I’ve seen anyone talk about the fact that vivi isn’t just half-fae—she’s half-redcap
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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jpg-of-dorian-slay · 2 years
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headcannon that sirius black never cries. he gets angry and he yells and smashes things. his magic flies out of control and he says the most hurtful things. but no matter what happens, remus has never seen him cry.
and then one day the daily prophet announces that regulus black has died. and for the first time in eight years of knowing him, remus watches sirius breakdown and sob on their kitchen floor.
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minnow-doodle-doo · 2 years
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I know you said that when Bruce first dies Damien is a little indifferent since he did not understand how Bruce loved all the kids differently but when he grows up does this change? Does he ever grow to understand Bruce more?
It's more that Damian was so used to death and people leaving that he doesn't really know this is forever in his nine-year-old brain. He loved his father and had idolized him from afar and the years he spent in Gotham crumbled his image into just a man.
Time went on and Bruce was dead as can be and nothing was going to change that. It's easier to mourn someone you thought didn't love you.
And Dick loved him even before Bruce's death and then after. He loved Damian in a way that he could never doubt. In Damian's mind, he separates Bruce as Dick's, Jason's, Cass's, Tim's father, not his in the way that mattered, everyone is morning someone that Damian didn't know as well as they did and never will. It's easier to mourn someone else's father than your own.
But as Damian gets into his late teenage years, he finds that he can't lie to himself like that anymore. His father had loved him in ways he didn't understand and he'll never get to ask how to.
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mekatrio · 3 months
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iris 🤝 kristoph
having psyche locks that phoenix never breaks
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genderqueerpond · 6 months
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amyeleven fivenyssa crossover
#the three people who would like to read this get excited and then get disappointed because i never finish anything#but the thing about fivenyssa is that she's his daughter#and it's supremely fucked up#and the thing about amyeleven is that she's his Everything and it's supremely fucked up#and also she's the one who asked the doctor if he's a father and well. she'd get it the second she saw nyssa#i know that line was SUPPOSED to be about susan and susan's hypothetical parents but in my heart it's about nyssa of traken#and the thing about eleven and nyssa is that they'd have extremely deep and intimate conversation about being the last of their kind#she's probably the only person in the universe that he could talk about it truly openly with and it'd be like.#nyssa I'm so sorry i never fully understood you. i couldn't. i do now#and she'd be so SAD about it because she never ever wanted that for him#she never WANTED him to understand her like that because the only way he ever could was to go through the same thing#and nyssa would never consider that price to be worth it#but now she knows it's going to happen and she can never tell her own doctor#and it's devastating devastating but also deeply healing for them both but especially eleven#....#and the thing about amy & five is that she'd know him. of course she would. she'd Believe he's the doctor and Understand about regeneration#and immediately tell him about the first time she met Her raggedy Doctor and he'd be like. you shouldn't be telling me this but#he'd be stunned and captivated by the amount of love and also possesiveness in her voice and wouldn't be able to bring himself to stop her#and she'd see straight through him and make him feel naked and raw and at the end she'd hug him goodbye and kiss him on the forehead#the way eleven does her because he's a CHILD to amy compared to eleven and he can't hide that#and the thing about eleven and five is that they'd each be deeply ashamed of the other#and finally#the thing about amy and nyssa is that they'd make out sloppy style#.....#............#voices offscreen:#'i can't believe you called her my daughter and then made out with her'#'yeah and how many times have you made out with my daughter what's your point'#lavender thoughts#dw
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nomairuins · 4 days
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future for scientist, bound for cadaver, and monster for both of them? 🤔
future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?
SO unfortunately for scientist i think the worst outcome for her is. achieving immortality FJNFJFN despite that being the one thing shes working towards yk. i think deepdown she knows this but shes still pursuing it bc shes basically in denial abt it... i think her being immortal would rly enhance some of her worst traits. like she already feels disconnected/dofferent/isolated from other people (which is partially why shes pursuing immortality in the first place) but if she got it it would just be. soooo much worse. i truly believe if she did become immortal shed fuck off to like. the most isolated place on earth and shed never talk to another person ever again. Which she might think is a good thing but it absolutely would not be
bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?
soo this one is difficult bc cadavers backstory im changing my mind on it majorly atm... previously i did have him being arrested and held in prison for a while and then being broken out/recaptured by scientist but im not sure if i still want all that .. the like. nature of his ... Whole thing has changed a lot since i originally came up with her so im not sure if that still works. like it Could but idk... so this one is a bit of a weird question to answer atm bc i havent fully decided yet... i suppose depending on how much control you view cadaver as having you could say like. living with scientist is imprisonment but i do think if cadaver actually wanted to get out it probably could. SO idk... also scars r also being reconsidered in my mind bc previously i had him Getting scars but now im not sure if that actually makes sense with the healing thing... but the issue is one of the main reasons i made him is bc i think autopsy scars r cool 😭😭😭 so i dont know...
monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
scientist: YAY so i think scientist has always felt inherently other. but i think meeting cadaver RLY changed her for the worst like. she literally regularly murders another person. and yeah he gets better but you dont just like... even if its not permanent you cant just become ok with killing someone without being a little bit off. yk. i think physically shes human (unless i decide that she Does take on the whole possession thing. constant flipflopping in connorland) but i think mentally she goes from being like. kind of a misanthropic loner to being like. she basically simultaneously views cadaver as an ideal that shes jealous of (bc he has the one thing she wants, and bc she feels a sort of connection w it bc they have like.. similar but different motivations. yk...). and if the only person youve ever felt any sort of similarity to is a corpse possessed by ambiguous force i dont think youre like . you know ...
cadaver: so this is soo fun bc ive actually been considering having cadaver a bit more monstrous like. physically. bc obviously shes not human anymore BUT i think itd be fun if the possession had some physical effects on him... currently he just has the extreme healing/resurrection abilities but id imagine hed probably have some sort of enhanced strength as well. and i just love when possession has a physical component... but yes. EMOTIONALLY i think cadaver is weirdly in denial abt being a monster. like. i think she views the original part of her the one that died as like. the monstrous one. it feels more human now that its possessed bc prior to her death she was like. Somewhat similar to scientist in that she was very isolated but it was less of a choice if this makes sense. like scientist consciously isolates herself from ppl bc she just Assumes that they arent like. sorry im turning this into being about scientist again DJFNJF cadaver go lay at the bottom of the pool or something im busy. but yk she has that like. a view of herself thats seperate from other people/from humanity so she just doesnt bother talking to other people bc she assumes they would never understand. yk. so it is A choice to isolate from ppl (altho she also like..does not have social skills at all. as a result of this choice. so yk...) but w cadaver cadaver was alllways desperate for connection but in a like. rather than searching for One specific like. Unattainable kind of connection he wanted anything. and thats why she was so enthusiastic abt the connection bc it meant there would always be like. Someone. yk. and obv post connection shes a lot more like. confident and Able to make friends despite being physically more disconnected from humanity if this makes sense. so yes. i think cadaver is Literally more monstrous than scientist but i dont think thats how he feels abt himself at all.
link to ask game!
#i hope this makes sense i rambled so bad i love thinking abt like. their views of themselves. yk..#the parallels between predeath cadaver and scientist r rly rly fascinating to me which is funny bc I made them up DJFNFJFN but like.#bc w scientist like. her motivation for immortality is bc she wants to know Everything. she wants to transcend like. humanity and she wants#fully seperate herself from the human part of herself that shes always hated. which is the part that Wants connection and wants to feel#understood. she basically wants to be a robot or a god or something like that. yk. a part of her wants to remain human and the rest of her#Hates that part. yk. whereas w cadaver her immortality motivation was kind of like. tbh the immortality was a side effect NDNFJFNF he was#just like Ooh boy a thing who lives in my head who will intrinsically get me and never leave me and well be together forever. And bonus will#help me talk to people and everyone will love me and view me as a god. YAYYYY YAYYYY. and then the immortality is just kind of another bonus#bc w cadaver it just loves like. attention. and being seen in ANY way. so post death i think likeee. bc of its immortality other ppl tend to#revere it . yk. its personality is sort of magnetic despite the feeling of it judt being like. off. yk. i think that fulfills the need and#it kind of doesnt care that its like. they still dont actually understand him yk. hes still An other to them. she just views it as adoration#which is what it wants. you know. i think theres a partnof cadaver that still feels empty and longs for like. Genuine care#if this makes any sense at all. BUT YA IDK. THIS MAY MAKE NOOO SENSE AT ALL. the ramblerrr
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angry-nightwing · 1 year
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Just got back from watching Return of the King extended edition at the cinema and now the movie is spinning around in my head like a rotisserie chicken
First of all this movie is SO GOOD you guys. Like we all knew, but it's like i rediscovered it. This movie is SO GOOD someone should give it 11 Oscars thus making it the most Oscar winning movie ever tied w titanic
Secondly something really funny happened. Now that I'm a mom, i have a very potent motherly instinct that my daughter triggers in me, but as we were sitting in the cinema, everytime Frodo came on screen that instinct was ACTIVATED. Like I've always wanted to protect him but this was a whole new level
There's something about how quickly smeagol was lost to the ring. It is instantly, in a way no one else in the story has experienced. Something about how inevitable it is, how this was always how it was going to go, how he was always meant to fall to its power
The parallel of the scene where smeagol asks for the ring and kills his friend for it, and the one where Frodo asks for it back from Sam and he gives it willingly
Or the parallel of the scene where Deagol and Smeagol fight over the ring and the scene at the end, the culmination of the entire story, when Frodo and Gollum fight for it as well. How it was always meant to end like this, because this was how it started. How the ring has always gained power by sowing chaos and turning people against each other, how its biggest strength was inspiring obsession and how that very same power is what caused it's downfall.
I never thought about it before but i love how Merry and Pippin fit the respective colorschemes of the two kingdoms of men they end up serving. Merry looks like someone right out of Rohan, even the color of his clothes. Pippin w his darker hair and clothes fit right in w the Gondorians. It makes me wonder if this was taken into account when their wardrobes were designed in preproduction
The look Elrond has when he sends Arwen to Aragorn, and then again after they kiss and embrace. He is weeping for the loss of his daughter. He is so happy she found her happiness. He knows he's never going to see he again. I am crying
I love how you can see when he stands on the pier at the grey havens, Frodo is pale and still a bit sickly looking, but once he steps onto the boat, he instantly gains color back, he has rosy cheeks and a sunkissed face. Even just stepping onto that boat, he's begun his journey towards healing, and that's why he can give his friends such a genuine smile
I also love the inherent selflessness of the action. Frodo doesn't just leave for himself, he also leaves for Sam. After everything they've been through, Sam was never going to be able to stop worrying for Frodo. He would never be able to cast the responsibility aside, he'd spend every day needing to check up on him. "You cannot always be torn in two" Frodo says because he understands that Sam isnt able to fully commit to his family, to just be a father and husband, because he is also still Frodos servant, protector, best friend, gardener. By leaving, he is allowing Sam to let go. Sam comes home, heaves a sigh - of relief, of acceptance? - and says "well.. I'm back." And i truly believe that until that moment, Sam hadn't fully come back to the Shire yet
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gibbearish · 9 months
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I've put this in the tags of a previous reblog but feel like it deserves its own post so PSA to tall people: your short friends likely have shorter legs than you and therefore physically can't walk as fast as you without exerting way more effort, they're not going slow on purpose or exaggerating/joking when they say they're more tired than you after an outing. your casual stroll is a speedwalk for them and doing that for extended periods of time is exhausting. also you will lose them in crowds way less if you make a conscious effort to match their pace rather than just assuming theyll keep up
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moe-broey · 4 months
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Brain still soup but like. I think making one or both (or more!) characters involved in relationships with each other aromantic makes the dynamic soooooo much more compelling. Because if you remove romance as a motivator, you really get down to the nitty-gritty as to WHY that character is seeking out/involved in those relationships in the first place. Whether that relationship involves romantic factors or is more of a queer platonic thing. Much to think about....
#like i WANNA give examples but also it's always so difficult for me to parse it out too#but sharena being someone who longs for love but can never quite grasp it for herself is sooo real to me#while maintaining her harem like. how she still seeks out these relationships anyway. BECAUSE she wants it so bad#because she can't quite grasp it fully herself.#also veronica taking one look at sharena and not even fully able to grasp it herself. and going 'sharena clearly doesn't know what love is'#recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)#also this is something i'm exploring aaaall the fucking time w moe/alfonse.#juries still out on if i hc alfonse as any flavor of aro (i do think it'd be funny/if he was i think he'd be demi)#but like. w moe being 2 for 2 demiro/sexual. you might think that would make things easier?#but no. bc it's also extremely romance repulsed. as much as it wants to spread love and cheer. it is a hater. fervently.#and then there are cases like lif/thrasir that read as a qpr to me. only having each other in this deep intimate way#that's devoid of any romance/sexuality.#BUT IT'S ABOUT THE OBSESSION. going back to moe. IT'S ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING THE SAME PERSON#which i think happens to a degree w moe and ABSOLUTELY happens/happened w sharena/peony#it's also about asking what does this character WANT. what is the core of their desire#is it to fill an aching absence? is it to feel safe? to feel understood? to feel loved?#when your entire life you've felt you've been loved wrong/were unable to love correctly?#is it friendship? is it sexuality? esppp in the case of aro/allos!!!! like!!!! that happens!!!!!#and ofc! you have your aros who just don't. and that's okay!#but i never want being aromantic to be like. an easy way to write off a character who 'gets in the way'#or rewrite something you didn't like in canon. like. there are ways to do that second part#without doing the same shit i see people do w autistic people. writing off a character#or a hc in the most abliest way fucking possible. it's egregious.
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forgaeven · 9 months
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another stray headcanon about rheowyck. by the way, i do believe that daemon did have the intention of properly introducing rheowyck to new clutches and/or any existing dragons that he could bond with, but as per canon, the war of the stepstones happened, and everybody — i kid you not — forgot.
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pepprs · 2 years
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hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings ar#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im don#forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths#but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot t#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold o#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im jus#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help f#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effectiv#effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
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another day another GoT rewatch another frothing rage at what they did to Jon
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thewhizzyhead · 9 months
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you know when you get a friend that was even more "tomboyish" than you were in your teens and then as the both of you grow up and enter college, you see them explore expressing themselves more femininely and absolutely fall in love with it and with the concept of womanhood - while you on the other hand become all the more estranged with "being a woman" because good God you really don't fucking get it and that seeing your once-tomboyish friend find joy and an emotional connection to womanhood makes you really realize that you have no such connection whatsoever, hence making you feel left behind in actually "becoming a woman"? Anyways what I'm trying to say here is I'm definitely not fucking cis-
#when i told my cis girl classmates that i feel nothing but indifference towards the concept of womanhood or girlhood#they felt really fuckin sorry for me#and i'm like my bros my dudes i dont really give that much of a fuck for something i don't really understand in the first place#like of course i know feminist theory and all that and as someone born a woman i know and experience and study gender struggles deeply#be it with double standards or dealing with gross perverted dudes#that being said - i dont know what being a woman is outside of our shared struggle in patriarchal structures#like when u take away all the shit we definitely need to fight for - what else is there left for me to enjoy on a personal level#and the answer to that is nothing because i never really gave a fuck about gender be it now or as a child#perhaps its due to my upbringing as well na like i was more responsibility minded but still#to see once really tomboyish classmates grow to love being a woman makes me feel lonely because how can i love a concept i cant comprehend#so anyways when i told this dilemma to a nonbinary-questioning friend of mine he jumped with joy because BESTIE SOLIDARITY#and my bro here was never female to begin with and yet he fully understood my disconnect to concepts of gender#and the coming of age rites that come with them like 'nagiging dalaga na talaga' 'ay nagbibinatilyo na to'#so um yea#thats my ramvle for today and my update on my gender crisis#i dont mind being called a woman tho like im used to it and it doesnt unnerve me - but id rather not be like trapped in having to be that#so um woo#personal shit
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first-blight · 1 year
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i went from being neutral and sane (sometimes mildly annoyed) about astarion to being more and more in love with him (platonically) (unhinged) with every piece of information i learn about him......
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sweetdreamspootypie · 10 months
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The breakup
[day 4]
I really wish I had a diary besides Tumblr
Looks like the breakup is functionally a product of us tripping over our own feet and too many load bearing assumptions, especially considering cultural translation factors
turns out what hurts the most has been that it was so so close to being perfect with no pain. But we're left with a mess instead.
I don't even know how normal people would have approached it anyway. At what point during the dating is it reasonable to have an assumption of exclusivity?
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