#he remembers what his mother's depression felt like To Him as a boy and doesn't want that for A.llie

[heirbane]

I was yelling at bree incoherently earlier and was really sitting here thinking about how Gaius really has just... always been the way he is. As long as he can remember.

He barely had time as a child to be just that. After his father died, he seamlessly stepped into being the head of the household. With his mother being beside herself and still a young adult by anyone's standards, Gaius had to quickly learn how to do what his father had done: provide.

And when he saw how his mother began to unravel, begging his infant brother to be quiet and stop fussing, overwhelmed and alone - he learned what not to do, too.

Gaius doesn't remember crying when his brother was laid to rest. He can't say he truly knows when he died, just that the house finally became quiet but they did not heal. The solace his mother begged for had come, and it only made her worse.

He knew what he had to be. He knew what he couldn't be.

(He doesn't remember crying when she died, either, half a decade into his military service. He was suns shy of adulthood, and her death felt like a mercy, a balm: finally. Finally. Maybe peace would find her. Maybe peace could find him, too.)

With the death of his own children, and the memory of how his brother's death had turned his mother into a ghost, Gaius is lost on how to grieve in a way that feels proper. He remembers his mother, curled up in her marital bed, blankets covering her like the corpse she wished to be.

He remembers her quietly weeping, there in body but not in spirit, and calling for her, a man lost at sea with not a thing to save him.

He remembers himself, and he sees Allie, and the grief and torment is enough to flay him alive.

Peace had found his mother, he hoped.

Maybe peace would find him, yet another call into the void, a whisper in the dark, the weight of it all crushing him alive.

[a-aexotic]

HEYYYY! So like every other mf on the planet right now I am in my hunger games era!!

Please could you write a Finnick x Reader where she is selected for the quarter quell (Maybe in her games she was lethal and killed like 10+ people?)

And when Katniss shoots the arena in catching fire she gets taken by the capitol (Like Peeta) and they torture her and shit? Then Finnick and her get there reunion she’s all like battered and bruided and it’s dead sad? Not sure if this made sense because i’m half asleep and dyselxic but let me know😭🤣

Maybe he says “It’s okay baby i got you” ??? x

hey of course i can! i hope u enjoy it babe <3 its a tiny bit long! my apologizes

cw's: angst, mentions of killing/dying, typical thg stuff, torture, ptsd, lmk if i missed anything

You were one of the youngest victors alongside Finnick, being only 15 and having won your games. You were also from District 4. You won the 68th Hunger Games, a few years after Finnick.

When you were reaped, Finnick and Mags were your mentors. Finnick came off as self absorbed and arrogant but once you started talking to him, the more you realized that was total bullshit. He wasn't how the Capitol portrayed him, he was much more caring and compassionate. He was very sympathetic to your situation, having gone through the same things.

During your time in the arena, you were one of the most ruthless tributes of all time. In the beginning, you were easily overlooked. The tributes weren't thinking that you were going to be much of a challenge because of your size and the way you carried yourself.

But that was exactly how you wanted to be portrayed. You tricked the Careers into thinking you were some naïve little girl, stabbing them in the back (literally) the first chance you got. The Capitol loved the turn of events, cheering you on.

When you had come back home, you had finally understood the intensity of what you had done. You had killed a whole group of people, ending their lives permanently. Those people had lives and family who loved them, and now they're gone because of you.

You suffered through months and months from never ending nightmares. Even getting consoled by your mother didn't help anymore; she doesn't understand. You didn't even feel worthy of food anymore.

You closed off Mags and Finnick when you had come home, driving yourself into isolation and depression. You rarely went out anymore, eating one meal a day and slept more than 80% of the day. Even sleeping couldn't mend the eternal tiredness you had, the void that filled your body.

Finnick had felt more than responsible for your pain. He gave you time before he realized he was just adding to your pain. Even when you didn't communicate back to him, Finnick visited you every day. He gave you advice and told you what he had went through after the Games as well. Eventually you opened up more to Finnick, and slowly, he had become your best friend.

He had told you that numbing it wasn't going to make it go away. He reminded you that you had him and Mags to help you with this process, and that you weren't alone despite of how you felt.

He helped you regain your sense of purpose again, your self image again. Finnick had singlehandedly helped you rebuilt your sense of self again.

He saw a part of you in him, that scared 14 year old boy who was trying to go back home to his parents. He never wanted anyone to feel that, especially you.

He promised you that he would never let anything bad ever happen to you again.

During your Victor's tour, Snow had suddenly deemed you desirable by the Capitol, wanting to sell you as he did with Finnick. Finnick couldn't risk getting involved, wanting to protect his family.

Every night in the Capitol, you were always consoled by Finnick. Every time you had to do a favor, you remember walking to Finnick's room to sleep, not baring the thought of having to sleep alone in the cold bed. He was always there, holding your hand comfortingly as you both slept.

The Capitol adored you both, nicknaming you the princess and prince of Panem. The more time you spent with Finnick, the more the media had speculated a relationship between the young victors.

You and Finnick had connected in many ways. Both having the same trauma, it was easy to talk to him and for him to understand how hard it was.

You and Finnick eventually got together a few years later, then getting married (in secret, of course) almost right after. You were both deeply in love.

Finnick found solace in the thought of always having you by his side, remembering that no one could tear you apart. That was until the Quarter Quell was announced.

You and Finnick were sitting at the edge of the couch, listening to Caesar's words carefully as he explained that this year's Hunger Games was going to be very different.

When it was announced that there will be only be Victors in this year's games, you heard dropped. You looked over at Finnick and he shared the same terrified look on his face.

--

When Annie's name had been called, you without any second thought, put up your hand. "I volunteer as tribute."

The crowd gasped and you looked over at Annie and you could tell she was a bit relived but still scared nonetheless. You immediately embraced her tightly, letting her let out a small sob. "It's okay, you're okay."

Mags looked just as terrified and you took her hand. When Finnick's name was called, you felt your stomach drop. Not only were you back in the arena, but you were with Finnick.

You looked over at Finnick and he looked prepared to fight. You both stood up and he grabbed your hand, raising it up in union.

The trainride to the Capitol was pretty uneventful. Finnick had wanted some time to think about the plan and so did you. A part of you knew what he was planning; he kill everyone else in the arena and then eventually himself, all for you.

As you sat on the bed, you felt the sadness and anger turn into numbness. No amount of crying was going to stop the Quater Quell and you had to be smart.

You didn't want to survive without Finnick. You were either winning with him or dying with him. Life would be meaningless without him.

Finnick knocked on your door slightly, before walking in. You looked up at him and he gave you a small smile. He took a seat next to and took your hand.

"I have a plan."

"Finnick, I know what you're thinking, and no. You're not killing yourself for me."

Finnick looked defeated. "One of us has to survive, Y/N. For Annie. For Mags."

You look a deep inhale, looking away from Finnick. "I don't want to life without you, everything would lose all it's meaning without you."

Finnick felt his heart burst into two pieces as he squeezed your hand. You felt your eyes watering again and you couldn't help but let out another quiet cry as Finnick pulled your head in, as he embraced you tightly.

"Shh, it's okay. I promise, I won't... I won't leave you."

--

It had all happened so fast, you couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. One moment, you were with Finnick trying to find Johanna and Katniss and suddenly there was big loud boom. You were relieved for a moment; Plutarch's plan had worked. Until you realized how far away you were from the others.

You were wandering, trying to find anyone until you heard people behind you. You turned and then you saw some unfamiliar faces; suddenly, your vision went black.

Then, you woke up in a white room. You felt like your stomach had dropped out of your body once the realization hit you; the Capitol captured you.

You were strapped down to a bed and you couldn't move or shake it off. The severity of the situation had hit you; even if by some miracle you did escape, where would you go? How would you find your way to 13 and back to Finnick?

You knew how ruthless the Capitol was to everyone who disobeyed them. Your worst fears had come true and there was no getting out of here.

You heard the door open and you saw some Peacekeepers come in and then you saw the person you dreaded to see most; Snow. You felt like your whole had come crashing down, how could this nightmare become any worse?

"Hello, Y/N."

You didn't respond, resorting to stare at the wall in front of you instead.

He tutted disappointedly. "Out of all the tributes, you were the one I expected least to be involved in this mess. You are the Princess of Panem... What a shame."

You still hadn't replied and you hadn't dared to look at Snow. Months and months you spent trying to heal the trauma he had caused you, you were sure if you had to look at him now, you would break.

"I want to take mercy on you, dear Y/N. If you tell me everything you know about the rebellion, I will make sure the Peacekeepers are gentle with you."

You shook your head. "No."

He let out a small chuckle. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What?"

"No." You said again, louder.

He hummed in disapproval. "Okay then, you leave me no choice. You are going to regret this."

He nodded to the Peacekeepers and walked out of the room. You were then met with Peacekeepers, loosening the straps then taking you to another room.

If Snow knew one thing about you, it was that being only physical with you wouldn't hurt you enough. He had to hit you were it hurt most.

They threw you in the seemingly vacant room and immediately locking it. You were confused until you heard it.

"Y/N, help me!" Finnick's voice screamed. "Please, help me! Get up and do something, they're killing me! Please."

You looked everywhere in the dark room, trying to find the source. It kept going.

"Y/N, please! Help! What the hell are you doing, just sitting there? You are such a disappointment!" The voice started shouting. "We should've just left you to died in the arena! You are useless!"

Now this was something new. Your body was filled with panic and fear and even though you knew it was fake, you felt like you were going to throw up from all the noise.

Suddenly, Annie's voice came in as well. Then Johanna's. Then your mother's. There was nonstop noise filled with screams for help, shouting with disapproving messages. Your body couldn't handle it; it was so overwhelmed with fear that you started shaking on the ground, putting your hands on your ears but that did little to nothing.

You wanted it to stop. It was too much, you were trembling. It felt like days, just sitting there in that room listening to all those demeaning voices of your loved ones. You couldn't even think straight anymore.

It was so bad you had started to pound your head on the ground, screaming and crying. You had have enough. And then, it all stopped. Silence was foreign for you; your ears were ringing.

You were sitting on the ground, almost lifeless as the Peacekeepers took you away. Your eyes hurt from the tears, your body sore, your ears ringing and your head was pounding.

But you knew that was just the beginning.

--

You were asleep in bed and you were awakened by the door opening, you instantly jolted up. You looked over to see a group of masked men in front of you and you had started to tremble again, silent tears rolling down your face, thinking that the Peacekeepers had come again.

"No, no, no." You started to mumble to yourself.

A man came up to your and took your bruised hand slowly, rubbing it gently in silent empathy. That was the first soft touch you'd felt in a few weeks and it almost stung.

"It's okay, you're safe now. You're going to 13 now."

You had to blink a couple times, trying to process what he said. Was this a dream? You went to pinch yourself but it was real life.

He then helped you up but you couldn't help but stumble; your legs were weak, you couldn't remember the last time the Peacekeepers let you walk for this long.

As you got into the hovercraft, you saw Annie. Your eyes widened as you both ran up to each other, embracing each other. She had started to cry a little bit and so did you.

That was when it hit you. You were going to see Finnick. You were going home. You started crying into Annie's shoulder as she held you. "We're safe now, we're safe."

You had seen Johanna as well but she didn't seem too responsive. Neither did Peeta. You fell asleep on Annie's shoulder on the ride back and for the first time, you actually felt yourself drifting off calmly.

--

There were lots of doctors and nurses looking at you and asking you all sorts of questions and you tried your best to answer them. You were still in shock; you were safe. They couldn't hurt you anymore.

"Y/N?" You turned around to see Finnick. You immediately got up from the examiner's table and ran into his arms, your eyes starting to water up again.

"Finnick," you sighed slowly. You pulled away, putting your hands on his face and touched him as if he wasn't real.

"Are you.. Are you really here?"

"Yes, I'm really here." Finnick looked at you and suddenly his voice transported you back into the dark room. You quickly twisted out of his embrace and his expression changed.

His voice was back and you heard all of the nasty things he had to you. You back away, stumbling into the examiner's table and your breathing became heavy. "No, no, no, please-please go away. No."

You slid down to the floor and you closed your eyes, putting your hands on your ears and rocking back and forth trying to get that voice to stop.

Finnick ran up to you and put his hands on your knees, trying to get you to look at him. His heart broke in half; he didn't know what the Capitol had done to you but now he knows it has something to do with him.

Of course the Capitol would try to ruin him. His eyes started to tear up at the sight of you, in so much pain and panic.

You opened your eyes, Finnick in front of you. You started to cry some more before Finnick slowly went up to you, wrapping his arms around you.

When he had started wrapping your arms around you, your instinct was to push him away but his warmth was welcoming and safe and you started to focus on his touch. The voices slowly drifted away, the sounds of your silent sobs only being heard.

You then gave into Finnick's touch, falling into him and putting your head in his chest as he caressed your back gently, shushing you.

"It's okay baby, I got you. You're safe now, they can't hurt you."

[kissorkill16]

I saw in a YouTube video, and on a few comments thanks to a couple of people on Tumblr that Nicky was originally supposed to be Theodore's son. Let me just write a storyline on how that would play out.

So Ted and Luanne were married before Ted and Diane, and Luanne used to be his housewife. Soon after they got married and had XXX, Luanne gave birth to Nicky and that's when Nicky was first known as Nicholas Michael Peterson.

Things started out okay. Ted really loved Nicky. He held him in his buff arms, and sang him a lullaby, the same lullaby that he did in Waking Nightmares. Tom, Tom, the Piper's son. Nicky even liked that booming laugh Ted had, whenever he laughed, the baby laughed too. Nicky made Ted so happy.

But things slowly got rocky.

Ted started becoming more focused on work. Spending more time at work, less time at home, and even less time with his family. Luanne got fed up and the two had a big fight, resulting in a divorce. Luanne got full custody of Nicky, but wouldn't allow Ted to see him.

After the divorce, Ted developed depression and anger issues. A year later, he met Diane and was happy to find out that she was recently divorced and already had two kids, Aaron and Mya. However, Ted never told her about his past family.

But even after he married her, that woman and those children kept reminding him of what he lost. He missed Luanne and Nicky, but he still loved Diane and her kids though, they filled in his empty heart, just not completely.

One day, he tracked Luanne down, and was absolutely furious when he found out that she married some other man named James (Jay) Roth. He went to their house, kidnapped Nicky, and drove off, trying to make it back to his house. Unfortunately, his car got hit by a street lamp.

In his coma, he had an encounter with a demon (The Guest) who said that his baby was dying because the street lamp hit him. He begged the demon not to let him die, to save him. The demon agreed, but with a heavy price. Nicky would have no memory of him. Ted agreed, and fell deeper into depression. But hey, at least the baby lived.

Years passed, and the Roths now live across the street from the Petersons. When Aaron first brought Nicky over, Ted nearly fainted upon hearing his name. Ted wanted nothing more than to just lift him up in his arms and hug him, but he remembered the deal he had with the demon and how Nicky has absolutely no memory of him. Ted also hated when Nicky called him Mr. Peterson.

Also, part of the reason why Luanne didn't want to invite the Petersons over for dinner was because she knew Ted and didn't want Nicky to find out he was his real father.

Anyways, fast forward through all the canon stuff. Diane dies, Mya falls off the roof, Ted locks Aaron in the basement, Nicky spies on Mr. Peterson to try and save him, and ends up getting kidnapped by Ted.

Ted is overjoyed to finally have his son back, and does everything to try to help him remember. Showing him pictures, and singing him that creepy lullaby he always liked, trying to make him call him dad, but all that did was make Nicky more scared. Every time Nicky tried escaping, Ted felt guilty every time he had to hurt him or drug him.

And while this was going on, Luanne was currently having panic attacks and mental breakdowns, thinking about how Ted could've been the one that kidnapped him, since he was her ex-husband.

After Nicky escapes, Luanne doesn't even need to ask where he's been the past 2 months. She felt like she already knew. And boy she was so close to killing Mr. Peterson.

Fast forward years later, Nicky is all grown up. After Act 3, Nicky eventually finds out on his mother's death bed that Jay wasn't his real father. He suddenly remembers all the things that Ted did to him as a baby. All of the cradling, singing, and hugs. He now understands why Ted was trying so hard to make him remember all of that, he was his real father.

He finds out that Ted is still alive, but in prison. He pays his bail, and tells him everything his mother told him. They have a small family reunion, and Nicky's first thought is to find Aaron and tell him about all of this. Ted is hesitant at first, but then he realizes that Aaron has a right to know.

He tracks Aaron down, and they learn that he's been staying with Quentin Gershowitz back in Germany. As soon as they find Aaron, Nicky explains everything to him. Aaron's reluctant to accept it at first, considering Ted never told him about any of this, but eventually forgives Ted since he realized his best friend was also his stepbrother.

They all live together happily ever after.

(Sorry if this is a shitty storyline, I just came up with all of this off the top of my head.)

[hoeforalbedo]

Giving scara kisses and cuddles! I just wanna cover his face with kisses and see him getting flustrated!

The Stages of Grief

Scaramouche x GN!reader

Warning: Angst to fluff, positivity, optimism, Scara's real name

Summary: Scara's betrayal spirals him into darkness but you shed some light in his world.

1. Shock & Denial

After all three betrayals Kunikuzushi experienced, he was miserable. He couldn't mourn that little boy's death. It couldn't possibly be real. He couldn't accept how fragile a human life can be. Even if external crises are overcame, there are still internal problems that some may never go away. How can they all leave him like that? Was there something he unknowable did? If so, why didn't they tell him so he can fix it. Maybe then his mother, his first friend, and his last would still be with him.

2. Pain & Guilt

Burning down the only reminder of his innocence was in itself the desperation to be strong. He was desperate to forget about all the betrayals. He may have felt guilty for burning a place so special but he could only remember the way promises are broken. The fire burnt all past promises that are long to be forgotten. What he did was make a vow. A vow to never trust anyone again.

3. Anger & Bargaining

For a long time Kuni fell into a deep pit of anger. He burnt his once pure name, telling himself he would no longer be the innocent puppet he was. He is no longer that but he is Scaramouche, the balladeer. Someone strong and powerful. He resented humans and stomped on their feelings. The same feelings he once had and even if he tells himself he no longer bears the same human emotions, they'll always be there.

He doesn't blame himself for everything that happened to him. He blamed the archons, and especially his mother. It was his mother that abandoned him first. The person that should have been there for him. He told himself he doesn't need a mother and doesn't need a god. Maybe if he becomes even more than a god no one will ever leave him. They'll all become loyal and be there for him forever. He tells himself it's fear for respect but deep down, he really just wants to be loved.

4. “Depression”, Reflection, Loneliness

When he obtained his life long goal to gain the gnosis he rightfully deserved, for it to not work on him made him feel lost. If he already achieved the one thing he'd always wanted, what now? He left the only place that accepted him. He's all alone. He's back to being by himself and with no purpose.

5. The Upward Turn

Meeting you was what gave him a spark of life. He saw you as weak. You were always taken advantage of and left broken. He would watch you from the side, crying to yourself but to his surprise, you would wipe the tears away and keep trying. Couldn't you see that the world hates you? So why do you keep going?

Why are you so physically weak but mentally strong? "I only have one life. Why would I waste it on being miserable?" You would tell him. He chuckled darkly to himself. Yet he has a whole eternity and he remains stagnant. Despite not having a taste of death, when he looks at you he would wonder if remaining miserable without gain is worth it.

6. Reconstruction & Working Through

The one step of his life for the best was choosing you. You are the taste of his inspiration. He has found someone he loves and of course the lingering feeling of fear is still there. He understands that you are fragile and that your time is limited. He's afraid to lose you and he wants to experience life with you.

The once vengeful puppet's new goal is to feel life. "Life is full of ups and downs. Do you want to stay down there forever or be up there?" You would tell him optimistically.

"But I'm scared Y/N."

"You have a whole eternity to do whatever you want but I don't so I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want. Geez no wonder you're so short. You're always so down."

"You take that back!"

"You want to experience life together? I think it's time you experience the life of freedom."

Scara hesitates. He's always had a purpose, a mission and a life of freedom is so foreign but with you he'd be willing to do anything. Humans are so interesting.

7. Acceptance & Hope

The rays of gold streams into the bedroom, shining a light on both you and Scaramouche. You whine and snuggle into Scara's chest. "Wake up you sleepyhead. It's already late."

You look up at him with a pout, "But I'm comfy."

"I'm going to push you off the bed," He threatens to which your hold on him tightens. He's just saying that but he really doesn't mean it. He doesn't plan on letting go of his hold on your waist.

You're laying on top of him and he goes to stroke your hair. "We have to get up soon. The Inazuma Festival is already starting." You twirl his hair in your fingers with a hum.

"Your mother can wait." Both of you lay in comfortable silence.

"I can't believe I'm going to see her again," He whispers.

"I'm so proud of you Scaramoochie," You grin. Scara pushes you off to the side.

"Ew don't call me that!"

You giggle. "Okay but seriously I mean it."

"I know. Thank you."

"Can't wait to see you brag about your body count," You smirk.

"We will not discuss that! I will be kicked out the moment I say a single word about that!"

"I'm just joking!"

"Joking my ass," He scoffs. You hush him and peck his lips. As you pulled back, he chased your lips, capturing them in his. "I love you," He mumbles.

"I love you for eternity."

[bluepeachstudios]

GitS Adjacent Asks

Definitely not. Phantom would be pissed enough at Splinter for the both of them. Ghost and Phantom are incredibly co-dependent on each other, to the point where sometimes certain emotions are left to one of them while the other handles a different emotion.

Something to remember about Ghost is that his anger in canon is 90% Raphael. When he was with his brothers, he was the mediator. He brings logic to the equation, thinks things through. Raphael is the emotion, passionate and empathetic. Michelangelo is the release, the reminder to have fun, and Leonardo is the responsibility, the reminder to get things done. Ghost went from being co-dependent with them, where when Raph and Leo were angry Ghost didn't need to be angry, he needed to be calm, to being alone and having to sort out his feelings for himself.

A lot of the anger Ghost has is him feeling what Raphael would have felt, or what he believes Raph would have felt. He doesn't even realize he's doing it. Leo shows through when he's being Responsible Mother Hen, and Mikey shows through when he's pushing himself to be with the kids, to let himself be loved, to goof off a little.

With Phantom, Ghost takes on the calm/kinda silly role. He makes jokes to lighten the mood when Phantom gets too serious. Reminds him to calm down. Ghost takes on a bit of Mikey's role while Phantom takes on a bit of Leo's. But being angry? That's always been Phantom's territory. If anything it's gotten worse because he relies on Ghost to calm him down.

Phantom avoids Splinter if he can help it. He'll snap at him whenever anything happens that Phantom doesn't think is good for the kids, or if he thinks Splinter's being a bad parent. He's LIVID about mutation days. Ghost generally runs interference. He realized early on Splinter wasn't their father, and yeah he's not a GREAT dad but he's also clearly got clinical depression and some anxiety.

Ghost gets along okay with Splinter, he definitely doesn't agree with everything he does but he also has more empathy for him than in canon. Phantom gets angry enough for both of them, so Ghost tries to go in after and smooth things over. This generally works, Splinter's just glad one of his alternate kids don't hate his guts.

Anyway I went off on this so hard, very sorry fghkdjfgh

He generally doesn't like to fight, but he thinks Warren Stone is pretty funny. He just slingshots him. Mike also has the ability to remember the guy! He's very good with faces. He likes bantering with him, ESPECIALLY likes to piss him off.

Otherwise, pissing off Draxum is his favorite pastime. :)

Splinter is in tears, Ghost is so small, so cute, so completely unaware of what a failure he is. Baby Ghost just likes his fur because it reminds him of his Father!! Father's a rat too, his name is Splinter too, are all rats named Splinter? Are all Fathers named Splinter??? He also insists his name is Donatello. Donny. With a Y. He is not a ghost!

Ghost would probably be more relaxed. That Splinter is much more like his own dad (more dad-like) but he's a really good dad! Ghost's used to helicopter parenting, that's,,, kinda how he does things. For the boys, he'd be Very Much Olde Man. Like he's as old as Splinter. That's Dad aged. They jokingly call him Mom and then it just sticks he's just Mom now.

He has no idea how to handle it fghkdjfhgk he's just confused like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CRACKED A CONCRETE WALL WITH YOUR SHELL AND ARE FINE BUT YOU GET KICKED ONCE AND YOUR SHELL BREAKS--

[smallraindrops-blog]

Fukin

Thinking about Y/n being a favorite/champion for a god now because of that Athena line.

Athena would be a good choice, but I also think about if Ares and Y/n met differently.

What if Ares met Y/n when he was still in the fighting ring. A viscous child who won every fight and quickly put his opponent down. Surely Ares would be drawn to the desperation, the need to win and survive. And when the boy gets older, Ares is sure he would make a fine warrior.

And when he's adopted by Achilles and Patroclus, he has a bloodlust Patroclus trys to curb, and Achilles trys to hone in training.

Of course, they can tell he's been influenced by Ares. All they can do is hope bloodlust doesn't take over Y/n life.

I dunno just a more vicious Y/n who does love his parents, but just wants to fight everything all the time.

Long response. Small flash fic inside.

funny enough, y/n was somewhat blood thirsty when was younger (and a strong drive for survival which kept him alive as a child and after the war even though he was in a deep depression)

He was a quiet but high-energy kid with anger problems.

Honestly, I don’t remember how much i have gone into it much but it is part of the reasons why Y/N’s training was hard as a youth.

Y/n was essentially doing manual labor a lot on top of training with Achilles. He was running with heavy animal feed bags and a lot of his chores involved chopping wood and the like.

It is part of the reason he was always hungry as well.

As for Ares finding a young y/n, his life would had turned out very different. I think for everyone’s sake, it was better for him to end with his parents. But I am in full agreement with everything you said.

Here a have a flash fic. ( i had this in my back pocket since i wasn’t sure if anyone wanted to read it but it is too fitting to pass up this opportunity.)

~~

(Early childhood)

Kneeling front of Achilles and you, Patroclus lifted both of their left arm to inspect the marks.

On Achilles’ forearm, there was a neat little bite mark. Deep too. On yours, there was a much bigger one. Not as deep as however.

Pa inhaled sharply, looking up at Achilles who didn’t meet his hard stare. “You bit him?”

“He bit me first!” Achilles protested, scowling down at you.

“I did.” You told Pa, smiling with vicious satisfaction. You no longer felt bad for biting your Father. “He told me to attack in a way an enemy wouldn’t expect. So I did.”

“You completely missed my point.” Father said, yanking his arm away from Pa, still glaring at you. “We don’t bite each other. Ever. We talked about this before lad.”

Pa squeezed the space between his eyes as if begging the gods for patience. “Why did you bite him back?”

Achilles shrugged. “It is what my mother did with me when I was younger. It worked.” He paused, considering his words. “Eventually.”

“You and I know both know that isn’t true.” Pa muttered as he stood up.

“You like it.” Father grinned up at Pa, his blue eyes gleaming with mirth. Pa was still unamused.

“Huh?” You asked, frowning in confusion as you glance between them.

“Nothing.” They said together with Pa grabbing your hand. You wanted to tell him you were big enough to walk on your own but decided against it when Pa shot Father a glare.

Unfortunately, the medicine hurt more than the bite did.

~~

(In the distance future)

You walked into your bedchambers with a fresh bite mark on your hand. Hypnos blinked awake, lifting up his sleep mask. His long curls messy from his nap.

He looked lovely as always but you were far too grumpy to linger over it.

“Icelos?” Hypnos asked, his voice amused and sleep rough.

You grumbled as you cleaned it. “I put her in timeout.”

Hypnos was quiet for a long moment. Then he joined you, rubbing his cheek on your shoulders, his eyes closing once more.

“I’m surprised you didn’t bite back.” Hypnos teased. You said nothing.

That got Hypnos’ attention, waking him up and he narrowed his eyes. “Did you?”

You scoffed. “No.”

There was a beat of silence with Hypnos glaring at you. You shrugged. “Fine. I thought about it. But as a kid who bit his father, it didn’t work. So I didn’t bite back.”

“Oh. Good. Well then.” Hypnos sighed. “We will have to come up with a new punishment. Timeout isn’t working clearly.”

You grunted in agreement.

“Hypnos.”

Hypnos gave you a poke, looking at you with deep fondness. “At least we know where she got her biting from.”

“Hmm?”

“If she bites me again-“

“You will not-“

[remushrts]

write something about bipolar barty

— pairings: barty crouch jr. x regulus black (hinted)

— a/n: this is cluttered kinda, but i hope you like it! also you didn't specify if you wanted him maniac or depressed so i did him depressed and i might do a maniac one later on!

— summary: barty having a depressive episode

It comes to him in waves. It comes to him like the first, worst wave of a tsunami, washing him off to shore until he's numb to it. Truth is, he gets numb by it. He closes his eyes, hold his breath, but he knows he can't stop it from coming. He can't, his friends can't, his boyfriend can't. Barty feels like the worst circus attraction of all times, but he can't stop it.

Then, it just goes blank. It goes weeks without notice, it goes months at long. Suddenly he doesn't remember when it started, or if it even started. Sometimes he thinks he's always been like that. Sometimes it's his father's voice telling him that, too.

Barty wishes, he really wishes his boyfriend and friends would stop looking at him like that. Barty has never grown found of pity, never liked it, to be honest. He tries to think of all the things he didn't like in this world.

One, his father. Easy, of course, and obvious, but it has to be number one on his list. Two, commiseration. Not because of what you think, he just thinks the word is too long. Maybe if it was easier to write it would roll out of his tongue easier too. Maybe then he could talk about it rather than going numb, or crying.

Growing up, people have always said Barty was tough. Tough, even when he was little, even when he'd rather be anything else. No, Barty was tough. He was bark and bitter and bloody knuckles, born and raised to not fear anything, under the wing of a ever-demanding father, the ever lasting shadow of his mother. So yes, if anything, Barty Crouch Jr was tough. Or so he thought.

The number three: crying. Evan says it is about the catharsis or some shit, Barty doesn't care. He hates it, he hates being seen crying, hates that his tears seen to fall for hours once they start, he hates that he sobs. Loud crier, or that's what his parents say of him. Can never keep it down, he remembers his father saying. He can, it turns out, from the countless times he cried from anger from his father when the referred man was only next door. He doesn't remember the last time he cried. He thinks it's been a year or two, but again his memory sucks at this kind of things.

The only thing he's sure is that Regulus hold him through it.

Regulus, who for once didn't act careless whenever he touched Barty, Regulus who handled him like he was the most delicate of things, the most sacred of gifts, a bliss into his life. Regulus who touched him like sunlight. Barty never thought he'd be so fond of being treated like he'd break. Like he could break, for a start. But oh, how he liked it. Then, how he loved it.

Barty's face were stained with tears, something he'd never admit if it was to anyone but Regulus, his flesh red and whipped, wounded skin under Regulus ever so light touch. Barty winced at the contact. He wished for many things. Most of all, he wishes Regulus hasn't seen him in such state. He wishes Regulus would for once turn his back on him, be a terrible friend for his own sake, he wishes that for once, Regulus would frown at his scars. The look of love in his eyes makes the boy hiss like a scared cat. He hated it. He hated how much he bended over Regulus touch. He wishes he would turn him away instead.

Regulus never did. It'd be easier if he was as tough as people make him out to be. But no, Barty wasn't tough. He didn't feel tough. Not when he was panting and his breath was catch on his lungs and it felt like dying. It felt like dying until Regulus' touch bring him back from the dead.

Then it just felt like Regulus.

[candlecoo]

since you are in the mood for hurt/comfort, can we see some of your ideas? i personally love me some hurt/comfort so if you have any it would be appreciated greatly:D

Life after Defeat au

- Chizue would often be found lost in a daze trying to remember her past or trying to connect strong emotions to reasons why she felt them. This mostly happened towards the first couple years after her accident, but occasionally pops up now and again.

- when it does she needs to be gently brought back into the present.

- Chizue is triggered by things every once and a while and doesn't exactly know the reason, like movies where a spouse dies or the separation of a mother and child. She doesn't handle them very well.

- she never truly remembers All Might or Torino. And even goes so far as to apologize that she can't which breaks their hearts that she feels the need to apologize.

Test my Limits au

- these kids have been treated as experiments or less than human for almost two years, they most likely have a hard time remembering life outside of the lab.

- or what it's like to not be abused so when they are rescued they are expecting to be mistreated. In Denki and Toru's perspective they misbehave and break rules cause if they think they're going to be hurt anyway there might as well be a reason.

- and Izuku is so scared of being hurt or being in pain in general he doesn't dare step a toe out of line.

- Izuku is also the only one who managed to escape the lab before the raid, he was gone for close to a week, and even outside the lab nobody would help him, they made the escuse that a hero would but nobody did. Or at least not in time to prevent him from being dragged back.

- Aizawa found him on the last day but was too late to save the boy and bore witness to his kidnapping.

- but because of the event Izuku has a hard time reaching out.

Change your Reality au

- so I've mentioned that Izuku doesn't take too well to waking up in the future very well.

- but between having to rely on others just to move around cause he's been in a two hundred years coma, the world being completely different, the self hatred because of his quirk and losing all his friends and family. Izuku starts out very angry.

- he probably lashes out, goes into depressive episodes or shuts down completely when he's at his worst, for the first year or so.

- he also tries pushing himself too hard in his recovery and only makes it harder on himself.

- what I'm trying to get at is he goes through quite a bit of therapy before he gets better.

Ghost Story au

- Izuku does not see the issue with hurting himself/killing himself if it means that he can help others by doing so.

- he out right avoids telling people he got a quirk even though it is all he's ever wanted because he knows that others would not let him use it if they knew about it.

- at first he avoids any help his Koichi and their group try to offer him cause he interprets as them trying to stop him from helping people instead of them actually caring about him cause nobody's ever cared about Izuku other than his mom. And she has too.

- Izuku struggles to see his own self worth and only thinks he matters when helping others.

[writing-good-vibes]

mother is the name for god

here we are, my first fic for halloween ends. honestly i've wanted to write something since the movie came out and i'm pretty happy with this !! WARNING for corey having major mommy issues, general themes of depression and anxiety, implied emotional and mildly implied psychical abuse

No matter how badly Corey tried to stay out of his momma's clutches, it was no use. It never worked. And he had been trying, in one way or another, for as long as he could remember. He could never get away. This is how it was meant to be.

By the time they get home from the courthouse, it's way past dinner. Corey was still in his suit, an off-the-rack two piece he'd had since high school and had been forgotten at the back of his closet, until now. It still felt itchy on his back, enough to make his skin crawl, even after so many months of hearings.

Ronald was driving, his driving posture relaxed, though his tense fingers on the steering wheel gave him away. Momma was talking in the passenger seating, damning the judge and the jury and the Allens -- anyone else she could think of really -- for their incompetence. For putting her boy through what they did. Corey sat silently in the back, low in his seat as they re-entered Haddonfield.

When they stop to pick up dinner from the Chinese restaurant in town, Corey should be pleased. He doesn't think he could stomach his momma's cooking, especially not after the day he'd had. But he doesn't feel much like celebrating either, even when momma let's them eat their take out off of tv trays in the lounge.

Corey goes to bed as soon as he can. He watches the soft blink of the radio tower in the distance, but it doesn't lull him to sleep like it sometimes managed too. He rolls onto his side instead, squinting without his glasses to watch the clock on his bedside tick over, one minute after the next. He can feel it, the churning wave inside him that is building, pulling back from the shore like a tsunami before impact. It starts to overwhelm him. the weight of the world that had been forced into his shoulders was finally going to crush him, Corey thinks, a weight so heavy he was scared he'd never be able to get up again.

He needs to escape before the wave breaks and there's only one place to go. Only one place left.

He gets out of bed, feet landing lightly on the floorboards. A habit. Corey drags the blanket from the end of his bed, a greying baby blue thing he's had since he was small, and sets off down the hall.

Ronald comes out of his parents bedroom, and Corey flinches as though he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be. A moment passes between them that feels longer than it probably is. Ronald smiles, something close to sympathetic but not quite. He must see something though, in the way Corey's eyes are wet or in the twitch of his lip. He's seen Corey cry before.

The moment passes and he claps Corey on the shoulder, "It's okay, kid. It'll be okay." Ronald continues down the hall and down the stairs.

Momma's bedroom door creaks, it has for as long as Corey can remember. He cracks the door to his momma's room and peers inside. She's sat up in bed, glasses slipping down her nose and smoothing lotion into her hands.

"Ronald," she starts before looking up at the door. When she sees instead that it is Corey, she frowns. Her voice grates in the quiet night, "Corey? What are you doing out of bed?"

But Corey is already inside, shutting the door behind him and he can't stop his lip from quivering, can't stop the tears blurring his vision even further as he drags the blanket along behind him.

"Oh," Joan throws her arms open and beckons her baby forward. "Corey, come here."

Corey crawls under the comforter, in besides his mother. He cries; endless tears trailing down his cheeks and his nose streaming. His momma pulls him into her arms, against her chest. All he can smell is the old fashioned perfume she wears and the cigarettes they both pretend she doesn't smoke. All he can feel is the softness of her nightgown and her cruel, fierce embrace. He's tried running away from it before, but for once in his whole life, this is all he wants.

"Momma," he cries, letting himself hold onto her for dear life. "Momma, m'sorry, m'sorry, m'sorry..."

She shushes him gently, not in that whip sharp way she would when he got too rowdy as a child, a sound that served as a warning for something sharper to come. No, this time is was gentle, so genuinely gentle, that it made him cry even harder.

"It's okay, baby," and Corey doesn't see the ghost of a smile on her lips, "your mother will always, always love you."

When Corey first started preschool, he cried every single day. The other parents at the school yard, the ones Joan spoke to before alienating them entirely, told her it that yes, it was difficult, but now was the right time to cut the apron strings. That Corey needed to learn how to socialise. Joan smiled tightly and pushed down the anger that surged through her. How could these people tell her it was the right thing to do, to let her baby hurt so much? Every day Corey cried, and every day he would come home, climb into his momma's lap and let her rock him. The years would pass by and he'd learn better.

His breath rattles softly in his chest as the tears dry up and he finally catches his breath and Corey falls into an empty, dreamless sleep.

In the morning he will wake up and know that he let himself fall back into her clutches. Know that she has him. But tonight he stays where he is, clinging to his mother.

[crashpill]

Downer

Name: Isabella Bloom

Age: 30

Gender: She/Her

Residence: Lud's Holm

Job: Hair dresser

Hair color: Dark Brown

Eye color: Grey

Family: Father and mother dead, brother works as a Constable

Relationship: Single

Special features:

Birthmarks on the face, (Half mask)

Likes:

Uncle Jack

Sewing

Tea

Sun

Making people happy

Favorite song: Not a Crime to Smile

Dislikes:

Snow

Injuries

Constables

Soldiers

Fire

Backstory:

Isabella and her brother Edward witnessed a tragic incident as children that claimed their parents' lives. In a devastating air raid on Wellington Wells, their parents were killed amid the chaos of war. Isabella was only 14 years old at the time, and Edward just 18.

With the loss of their parents, not only did the siblings' idyllic world crumble, but their family was torn apart. Without relatives to take them in, Edward, the elder, felt compelled to care for Isabella. In a world shrouded in Joy, where grief was considered a weakness, he tried to be a substitute family for his sister. The two endured a challenging childhood, marked by loss, loneliness, and the constant struggle to suppress their tears.

To make ends meet, Edward took on a job as a delivery boy at an early age, and later, when old enough, joined the Constabulary. The responsibility weighed heavily on his young shoulders as he tried to shield Isabella from the world's horrors.

In their cozy home in Wellington Wells, Isabella and her brother Edward lived happily. Isabella's hair salon was not far from their home, where customers came not only for a haircut but also for the warm atmosphere.

Isabella was a respected hairdresser in Wellington Wells, renowned for her artistic hairstyles that enhanced the city's splendor. Her life seemed perfect until she lost her hair salon due to an unfortunate chain of events threatening her livelihood. A devastating fire, triggered by an unlucky short circuit, destroyed her business and everything she had built. Without insurance and financial means to rebuild the salon, Isabella faced ruin.

Desperate and without hope for improvement, she turned increasingly to Joy to numb her worries and fears. However, over time, her body could no longer tolerate the drug, and Isabella found herself caught in a whirlwind of withdrawal symptoms and depression, while her once lively salon turned into a sooty ruin.

Without her livelihood and the support of her salon, Isabella not only lost her economic security but also her faith in the apparent perfection of Wellington Wells.

Instead of living in the euphoric illusion of Joy, Isabella found herself in the abyss of reality, plagued by withdrawal symptoms and the painful realization that the world around her was, in truth, crueler than she had ever imagined.

Her brother, torn between duty and family ties, eventually decided to bring Isabella to the outskirts of the Garden District as a Downer. There, in the decaying remnants of the city, Isabella must not only battle physical withdrawal symptoms but also the emotional turmoil between her past and an uncertain future. Her journey is marked by the quest for truth, self-discovery, and overcoming the dark shadows that loom over Wellington Wells and her family.

Relationships with:

Arthur: She could never really become friends with him but she liked his brother Percival. Sometimes she misses Percy as she remembers him more and more.

Sally: She doesn't know Sally well enough.

Ollie: Better keep distance from him.

Relationships with other characters:

Nick: She really enjoyed listening to his music. Would do anything to go to one of his concerts.

James and Roger: She doesn't know them both.

Percival: She was friends with him at the time and got along well with him. She doesn't know what happened to him and misses him in dark times.

Bobbies: Isabella's relationship with Constables is strained, marked by a conflict of allegiance. Her brother, Edward, being a Constable, adds complexity as duty clashes with familial bonds. The authorities view her as a Downer, intensifying the tension and making her interactions with Constables fraught with suspicion and risk.

Doctors: She actually likes them, Isabella maintains a neutral stance towards the doctors and harbors some hopes for understanding and support.

Uncle Jack: She loved watching him and misses seeing him on TV. She likes going to the Uncle Jack meeting at her place in Lud's Holm, but it's just not the same.

Foggy Jack: Isabella's relationship with Foggy Jack is characterized by caution and uncertainty. She doesn't want to meet him but would like to know more about him.

Downers: Can't trust everyone and she's pretty careful too. But when she meets someone good, she likes to help the person out and also share the things she has.

[slaasherslut]

Avana Walker: A Tragedy in Black

Summary: A bit of a look behind the curtain into the life of my oc Avana Walker.

Warnings: depression, suicide, death, drunk intercourse, cheating, cursing

2.3k words

Avana Walker was born to a normal middle class family. At least it was fairly normal. She had a mother who would welcome her home with snacks every day after school and a father who thought the world of his baby girl. Back then Ava would hate to say she had a favourite but she definitely got along better with her father. Maybe it was that she was almost a carbon copy of him in almost every way, everyone always made sure to mention that upon seeing her with her father. From their looks down to their music tastes, they were so alike. Growing up, she idolized him. As a young adult he was a pretty big local musician. Playing gigs all around the surrounding cities and having crowds attend their shows. He was always showing her old tapes of his bands songs and old camcorder footage of the performances. She was mystified by the energy he had on stage and how happy he looked with a guitar in his hands. Whenever Ava asked why he wasn't making music anymore, he always told her "Well I've got something bigger I've gotta do now, and that's be the best daddy I can be for you and mommy."

At the time he seemed like a happy man whenever he reminisced. Ava was too young to see the sadness in his eyes when talking about the good old days. But what she didn't know was that a silent killer was in the midst of tearing her family apart. Her father never shared the dark depression he was harbouring inside of him.

One April afternoon when Ava was 12, she had come home from school at her usual time, a little after 3 o'clock. She was planning on dropping off her book bag in its usual spot in the laundry room before heading out to the local quarry with some neighbourhood kids. The laundry room was just inside the garage so she figured she would pop in through the garage that way she wouldn't need to unlock and lock the front door again. If you asked her about that day now she would tell you that she doesn't remember most of it. The only thing she remembered clearly was throwing open the garage door and ducking inside. She almost ran into his legs as he hung from the rafters. After that she barely remembered screaming and crying for her daddy until one of the older neighbourhood boys came running at the sounds of her screams and called the police.

A few weeks prior he finally finished his 3 year long passion project since making music, restoring a beautiful cherry red 1966 Plymouth Barracuda. After which his depression took a nosedive and things went bad fast. He felt like his life wasn't right. That the only good things he did was make music and love his beautiful daughter. He had lost his battle, and Ava lost the man she loved most. Her mother had to sell that old car to get rid of the memories of him, which was something Ava never agreed with.

After her father's death, her mother became bitter and withdrawn. Like she always had sour words on her tongue but she kept them bottled up inside. She didn't have to hear the words to know that she hated her, like she blamed Ava for her father killing himself. The fact that she could read her mom's resentment mixed with not knowing why absolutely destroyed her. Ava couldn't stand being at home anymore knowing she was no longer wanted.

Once Ava's teens rolled around she decided to follow in her fathers footsteps and learn how to play guitar. She dreamed of one day being in a band and being as loved and respected as he was. On a particularly bad night of missing her father, she wanted to be surrounded by his things. She snuck up into the attic to look through the boxes of his belongings that were thrown up there by her mother and forgotten. In the back of the room, encapsulated by moonlight coming in through a window as if it was a sign from her father himself, sat a beautiful black guitar. She remembered how much her father loved this guitar. He played it all the time and it was one of his prized possessions. It was a Dean Dave Mustaine VMNTX guitar in a beautiful shade of black. She remembered the kind of guitar it was because they both loved Metallica, and Dave Mustaine was their lead guitarist before he formed another band they both liked, Megadeth. She delicately ran her finger tips over the strings and plucked them gently. Her fathers voice, clear as day, echoed through her mind.

“Ava, if you ever wanna play music, this baby right here is yours. All I ask in return is that treat it with respect and think of me whenever you play it.” She spent the rest of the night on that attic floor as she cried and played random chords. She wished her father was still alive to teach her. She didn't want to start her journey alone. She woke up the next morning on that same attic floor, covered in dried tears and an even stronger will to be something her father would be proud of.

At 14 she got a job selling records at the local mall to save up enough money for a car and put most of the rest in a bank account. She used her job and her first band, “Augur of Agonies” as a way to stay out of her mom's way. The less time she spent around her mother the better.

Ava was 16 when she bought herself her own truck and she made a big life decision. She didn't want to go to college like everyone expected her to. She wanted to pursue a career in music, just like her father had. While her peers were applying to college and university, Ava was doodling song lyrics and future band names.

She was 18 when Augur of Agonies parted ways due to members branching life paths and she formed “Aetherborn” with a few guys from the local trade college. She was weeks away from graduating when she told her mom her plans. She expected some sort of emotion from her mother when bringing up her father, but what she didn't expect was pure rage.

"Your father never loved me like he loved you! For fucks sake he was only with me cause I got pregnant with you! Blamed me for his failing music career! Even restoring that stupid old car for you!" Ava's heart felt like it was going to drop out of her chest, stopping for a moment before beating way too fast.

"Wait, what are you talking about? The car you fucking sold!? That was supposed to be mine!? AND YOU SOLD IT!" The tears were freely flowing. "YOU WONT LET ME HAVE ANYTHING OF DADS AND THE ONE THING THAT WAS MEANT TO BE MINE YOU FUCKING SOLD!"

"You want something of his? Fine!" Her mom's voice got softer and filled with malice. She charged upstairs, leaving Ava in a state of confusion. She heard the aggressive sound of a drawer opening and closing before she stomped back down.

"I was supposed to wait two more years to give this to you but if you're going to be such a bitch about it you can have it now.” Her mother thrusted an envelope into her hands and charged out the door with her car keys. Ava waited a moment to hear her mother pull out of the driveway before examining the envelope in her hands. Her name was printed large in her fathers handwriting. She tore it open with shaking hands and pulled out a sheet of paper. It was a final letter from her father. The whole thing was a jumbled up mess of barely coherent thoughts in shaky handwriting.

“My dearest Ava,

By the time you are reading this I will be long gone. I know that my decision is a selfish one but I am truly in a better place, my suffering has ended. My depression was too much to handle and your mother made my life a living hell. You were truly the only good thing in my life. The fact that you're my kid sends me over the moon, I love you more than anything else in this world. I love you so much that I wanted to leave you with my car, I know you’ll take good care of it. I hope that car is treating you well. I told your mother to give it to you on your 16th birthday. She might need a little bit of maintenance but I know she’ll treat you right. You were always on my mind while restoring it and I knew I wanted you to have it.

I told her to give you this letter when you turned 20. As of right now for me you are my devious little girl who loves climbing trees and playing guitar with daddy. I just want you to know that I am so proud of the woman you have become. None of this is your fault. I will always be with you.

I love you baby,

- Daddy”

Ava collapsed to the floor and sobbed for hours, crying herself to sleep on the linoleum floor. She woke up the next morning to her mother still not yet home. Which was probably for the best. Ava was so angry with her mother. For all of her teenage years she made her feel like her fathers suicide was all her fault and tortured her for it. Her mother came home a few days later with a new boyfriend and Ava never spoke to her again.

After that huge blow up with her mother and reading her fathers note, Ava fell into a deep depression. So much so that it was starting to affect her work ethic in the band. During a band meeting without Ava present, a few of the guys discussed the idea of finding a new lead guitarist. Only one of them was against the idea, the bassist Wyatt Davis. The older boy had taken quite a liking to Ava. He had developed a sort of crush on the girl after one of their shows and they held an after party at their drummer's house. Ava and Wyatt got drunk and bonded over their shitty home lives. They ended up having drunk sex in their drummers parents bedroom and Wyatt had felt himself falling for her since then. The band decided that Ava was to be kicked out and that if Wyatt didn't like it then he could leave too, which he did. He visited Ava that night and took her out for a drive in his beat up Pontiac Sunfire while breaking the news to her. She broke down sobbing in the passenger seat as he stopped the car and pulled her into his lap, whispering encouraging words and cooing in her ear. He proposed the idea of starting a new band together and asked her to be his girlfriend. Ava said yes to both and they drove back to his apartment where they had sex all night long and discussed their future band.

“Village Rites” was born roughly one year later and Ava served as both the band's lead guitarist and singer. Village Rites also served as her longest running band at 5 years. During that time she had moved in with Wyatt and they released 3 EP’s as a group. They played tons of gigs in bars and clubs all around the state. It was with this band she felt like she was doing her father proud. Some shows she imagined looking out into the crowd and seeing her fathers proud face smiling up at her. She was finally living her dream and she couldn't be happier, the sky was the limit for her. She was kicking ass every time she walked out onto a stage.

By the time she turned 25, she was happy with her life. Working at the same record store that she got a job at as a teenager during the week and making music on the weekends. That all came tumbling down when she got let off work early one day and couldn't wait to get home and watch some movies with Wyatt. She got home and her heart shattered into a million pieces. Wyatt had another woman bouncing in his lap on their couch. She bolted out the door and held herself up in a motel room until the next morning. She made quick work of an ebay listing for a small trailer and threw it on the back of her truck. She didn't speak to Wyatt as she packed up her things and left him. He didn't make an attempt to speak to her either, just sat on the couch with his head in his hands. She had no plans when she hopped in the truck and drove off, eventually crossing state lines. She hoped that the open road would inspire her to figure out her next step. Sure as hell it did. Ava was going to Louisiana.

☾ notes: im aware this isnt my greatest work but i feel like im getting all my points across. also free dick sucking to anyone who understands what all her bands names are references to lol

☾ tag list: @rottent33th@cries-in-latino@vincent-sinclair-deserved-better@the-pinstriped-hood@allthingsblood @25bohemianmoons

message me if you want to be added to my tag list!

[laylaisthename]

you know im down bad when im actually posting my fics on tumblr.

-

Lincoln McQuoid/M!MC || SFW || 3900 words :pensive: ||

Fic about two guys with terrible birthday experiences that are trying to do better. Set in a theoretical time after everything's been resolved. Timeline doesnt exactly match up since we're probably like a week away in game from Linc’s birthday but uuuh just pretend ok.

tw; mentions of under (american) age drinking (idk im european and he's 18 so its fine to me) 

"Lincooooln." Horus calls lazily from the couch.

"What?"

"You know what day it is?"

Lincoln pads into the living room, his eyes narrowing at Horus. "The day the Elric brothers set their house on fire?"

Horus snorts, "Of course you would say that you weeb. Aaaand...what else is today?"

Lincoln sighs. "Who told you?"

"I'll let you take one guess at who'd be texting me about your well-being."

He buries his face in his hands and lets out another deep, soul-weary sigh.

"Abel says to tell you 'happy birthday' and to make sure that, quote 'he doesn't spend the whole day moping around his apartment alone watching daytime tv and getting drunk.' unquote. Ouch. You really spend your birthdays like that?"

There's a thoughtful frown on Lincoln's face, a look that Horus knows a little too well by now. He opens his arms invitingly, and a small smile plays on Lincoln's lips as he moves to join him on the couch, resting against his chest.

"Bad birthday memories?" Horus asks.

"Melancholic ones. I told you what happened on my seventh birthday. My mom still tried after that but it just... hasn't been the same since. And then I lost touch with Abel, and she..." his words trail off. 

Horus' voice is quiet when he responds. "I know. I'm sorry." 

Unsure of what else to say he simply wraps Lincoln in his arms. Instinctively Horus' eyes flicker to the empty spot on the wall where Silvia's portrait used to hang, a pang of guilt lancing through his heart. He must have apologized a thousand and one times already, but it still never felt like enough. Sometimes he catches Linc glancing over too, expecting it to still be there- for her to still be there. 

His thumb subconsciously moves to twist at his mother's ring. It was a feeling he knew well. 

"Okay I'm gonna be real depressing here," he starts, "but stay with me on this. Every year on my birthday my dad used to take us to this nice Egyptian restaurant. I'd get baklava and chocolate cake and some damn good chicken and then we'd go home and watch any movie of my choice, so we'd usually end up watching A New Hope again."

"And you're calling me a weeb? Nerd."

"Shut up, I'm being genuine here for once in my fucking life. Anyway. Point is. We'd get dinner, watch a movie together, I got some gifts, and it was the best day I could wish for. Then after... everything happened, Amalia and her parents took me out somewhere." He takes a moment to gather himself. Talking about the past five years was still hard at times, actually telling the truth of his hurt rather than lie and say he was fine. "I spent my eighteenth birthday crying my eyes out on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. Told Lia I got food poisoning, but I knew she didn't buy it. Next birthday was barely any better. Amalia was off to college by then, so me and my new best friend 'Fake ID' hit up every bar in town for a free drink for the birthday boy. I vaguely remember making out with some hot girl in a bathroom stall, but mostly I just remember feeling incredibly alone. And, well, nauseous."

"Is this story going anywhere or are you rambling?"

"Right. I'm trying to be profound. Well, tl;dr, birthdays sucked. At 20 I ignored my birthday and 21 I got shitfaced again, but this time legally. Then this year I happened to find myself in the area after a hunt. So I walked into that Egyptian restaurant, I got myself dinner and some baklava, found the nearest movie theater and watched, uh," he falls quiet for a moment, thinking hard, "I don't remember the movie's name, it was pretty forgettable I'll be honest. But it was the best day I'd had in longer than I'd like to admit. Whenever I closed my eyes I could almost feel my family sitting next to me. My dad's lame jokes, my mom's laughter. Annie stealing food off my plate when she thought I wasn't looking..." Horus is quiet for a moment. "Sorry, I'm making it about me again."

Lincoln turns over in his arms to face him. "It's alright. Honor their memory instead of burying it deep, right?"

"Yeah. But, if you do wanne just laze around all day and watch shitty movies I'm down for that too." he tightens his arms around him a little. 

Lincoln hums, lying his head back down on Horus' chest, and he wonders if Lincoln could hear how his heart raced. Neither of them would spend another birthday alone if he had any say in it. They lay there a little while longer in comforting quiet.

Lincoln rouses after a while, quieting Horus' whine with an achingly sweet kiss as he heaves himself off the couch. "I think I know what I want to do today."

***

Their first stop was Westchester Elementary. Lincoln hadn't told Horus what exactly they'd be up to, wanting it to be a surprise. It was a warm autumn day, the warmth of summer not quite gone yet. 

The sounds of children playing outside  accompanied by a quiet ambiance of rustling leaves and birds' song. It was strange how nice Westchester could be when horrible men and creatures weren't actively terrorizing it. 

"So, this is where baby Linc took his first steps into becoming a menace to society?" 

He rolls his eyes, but smiles regardless, "You know Russ, I don't actually know much about what you were like as a kid." 

"Me? A model student once they got me to stop cutting up my clothes." 

"That's what I thought." he holds out his hand, and by now it's second nature for Horus to grasp it as they walk along. Lincoln leads them to the side of the building, stopping before they round the corner. 

"Close your eyes for me?" 

For me.

The gentleness in Linc's voice over shadows any dirty jokes in Horus' mind. He simply smiles, "Alright." letting Lincoln lead him a little further away with his eyes closed. 

He stops Horus, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around. 

"Okay, now, open your eyes." 

So he does. And before him, Horus sees something that was-

A stunningly painted mural adorned the old plaster, a deep indigo blue of a night sky, swirling into the yellows and pinks of dawn. Against that backdrop was the silhouette of a woman, leading a chain of children of different ages toward the light of a new day under a bright shining star. More stars dotted the dark sky, painted in such a way that they almost seem to shimmer in the sunlight. Among them Horus managed to recognize a few constellations; the Scales of Libra, Aries the Ram, the Eagle Aquila, the Archer Orion-

His eyes flit to Lincoln, who in turn is watching him with searching eyes and a kind smile. 

"It's gorgeous." Horus says after another breath. It was hard to put into words, but it felt as if a hopeful wish had been put into every brushstroke. 

Having apparently found what he was looking for, Lincoln turns to the mural. "My mother painted this. She told me she started the first draft a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant. The actual mural didn't go up until I enrolled here, and I got special permission to 'help' her out during recess." 

They walk up close, where painted in white, surprisingly neat, yet childish letters;

LINCOLN & 

and then in a beautiful curling script;

Silvia McQuoid

Lincoln traces his fingers along the letters, closing his eyes, a smile painting his lips. 

"There's more murals like these all around town. She'd always say this was her way of giving back a little kindness into the world. Something to inspire people." his eyes open again, looking up at the silhouette. "A couple were painted before I was born, but I loved coming along whenever I could. She always insisted that even if I just painted a single line, that I'd put my name up next to hers."

"She sounds awesome, wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you, I'm sure of it." 

Horus laughs, "Ha! You're just saying that because I'm your boyfriend." 

Lincoln bumps his shoulder, "I mean it, Russ. Someone so full of life like you? She'd be making wedding plans after our first date." 

Horus was not a shy or bashful man by a long shot, so the blush creeping up to his ears and the sudden stutter in his throat caught him off guard. His eyes flick over to Lincoln, who also seems to realize what he'd said with a start. He didn't want to read into it too much, his racing mind already looking for a way to change the topic, but a small voice in the back of his head tells him that if Lincoln had asked him right here, right now, that he would not mind at all. But then a suitable deflection comes to mind, blurted out a little too tense, a little too fast. 

"I already promised to take you out for dinner today, no need to butter me up."

"Maybe I'm hoping to get free dessert too." 

"I dunno, you find me a dark and quiet corner and I can get right on that if you're so impatient." 

"At an elementary school? Really?" 

"Ah, you're right. So are we going to your highschool next? Behind the bleachers maybe." 

Lincoln laughs again, "Speaking of dinner, there's a few more murals I wanted to show you. Come on." Linc turns to head back to the motorcycle. 

It was like a light bulb flickering to life over Horus' head as he realized exactly what he would get Lincoln for his birthday. He pulls out his phone, sending out a dozen texts as they walk, nearly missing the helmet Linc tosses him. 

The last message is off and confirmed by the time they reach the second mural, and hours blur by as they ride all over Westchester. Every painting is somehow more gorgeous than the last, accompanied by anecdotes from Lincoln about inspirations, color choices, meanings. It was something incredibly dear to his heart, anyone could tell. 

Horus steps up close to Lincoln, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Sharing this with me. But," he reaches his hand into Linc's back pocket, pulling out the motor keys, "I have a surprise for you too." 

Lincoln raises a brow, but doesn't make to grab for the keys. "Where are we going exactly?" 

"Ah-ah, wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you. But it's close by, I promise."

***

It's a short drive over. Horus parks the motor out on the side of the road, walking ahead down an alleyway to the back. 

And as his friends had promised, strewn around a blank wall was everything needed to paint a mural of their own. 

Brushes in all sizes, a dozen different colors of paint, lights that illuminated a smooth, blank canvas waiting to be filled. Off to the side lay a cooler filled with drinks, and a bag full of takeout food. 

"But how…?"

Horus counts it off on his fingers, "Had Connor call in some favors at city hall for the permit, Lia brought the food, Joss got us drinks, Dee and Noah took care of the supplies, aaand," Horus lets out a sharp whistle, and Abel appears from around the corner carrying a cake, followed by the rest of their merry little gang. A chorus of "Happy birthday, Lincoln." rises from the group. Joss rolls her eyes. 

"I'm just here for the cake." she nods her head toward Abel. 

Linc's eyes grow wide."Is that…?" 

"My mom's recipe? Yeah, I promised, didn't I?" 

Horus pulls a lighter from his pocket, lighting the candles. 

"Happy birthday to you." Abel starts, and Horus, Amalia, Connor and Dee are quick to join in, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lincoln, happy birthday to youuu." 

The look in Lincoln's eyes is part horrified, part touched and wholly embarrassed as the song comes to an end. 

"C'mon make a wish." 

Lincoln walks up and thinks for a moment, and if Horus wasn't head over heels before, then the way that the candlelight flickered in Linc's eyes surely would have done the trick now. The moment passes as he closes his eyes, blowing out the candles in one big breath. 

"Let's see if this cake lives up to the hype." Noah walks up, knife in hand, offering it to Lincoln to cut the first piece. 

Abel looks offended, "You doubt my baking skills?" 

"Cut him some slack," Connor says, "being a ghost for a few years made him forget his manners." 

Noah just shrugs, taking back the knife to cut up pieces for the rest as Lincoln takes the first one. 

The silence is broken by an incredibly inappropriate moan from Lincoln that almost sets something off in Horus. But that would have to wait until he had him all to himself.

"Just as good as you remember?" Abel says, unable to keep a large, goofy grin off his face. 

"Better somehow." he takes another large bite. 

Horus is handed a piece next and wastes no time shoving a large piece into his mouth. "Oh shit, this is good." Agreements ring out as everyone digs in. Their impromptu party is however quite short lived.

"As much as I wish I could stay," Abel says, "I was in the middle of grading papers that I really need to finish by tomorrow."

 Amalia pipes up, "I should go too, I got a long drive ahead to get back in time for my lectures tomorrow if I want to get any sleep. Cake was totally worth it, though." 

Connor walks up to Dee and Noah, slinging his arms around their shoulders. "The three of us promised Harper we'd stop by tonight to check something out, so we should get going too." 

Jocelyn grabs another bite off the last slice of cake. "And I'm not hanging around to play third wheel to these two, so bye."

Horus waves her off. "Good night, Joss." 

"Night, Red. Keep the old man’s spine intact.”

“Old man? I’m not even 30 yet.” Lincoln replies.

“I make no promises about his ability to walk tomorrow.”

Jocelyn grins, “Nice.” and heads off.

Abel hangs back for a moment, watching the others leave. He walks over to Lincoln, whose eyes still betray his feelings of guilt. Apologies were exchanged a while ago, but Horus could tell that Lincoln still had a hard time letting go of the hurt he caused. 

"Abel, I-" but his words are cut off as Abel envelopes him in a hug. Lincoln hesitates for a moment, before hugging him back. 

Abel lets him go, a kind smile on his face. "Happy birthday, old friend." he turns to Horus, giving him a nod, and Horus nods back. 

And just like that it was only the two of them left again. Horus polishes the last crumbs off his plate, quietly thanking Abel and his mother for what was maybe the best cake he'd had, ever. 

Lincoln walks up and hugs him tightly, burying his face in Russ' neck. And now it was Horus' turn to stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before he returns the gesture. 

"Thank you," the words are a quiet murmur against the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." 

"No, I liked spending the day with you. You doing this for me? I love it. I-" he hesitates on the word. Lincoln pulls back a bit, cupping Russ' face in his hands. "It means a lot to me. I just don't know what to paint." 

He pulls him in for a kiss, short and sweet. But being pressed up against Lincoln's back all day on the motorcycle has left Horus with a desire for something more than that. He walks Lincoln backwards until his back hits the empty plaster wall, nearly tripping over a bucket of paint in his haste. He opens his mouth, and it was delicious, both of them still tasting of whipped cream and cake. 

Lincoln flips them, so Russ' back is now to the wall and pulls back. A groan escapes him as he leans forward after Lincoln, 

"Don't move." he places another kiss along his jaw. 

"Hm?" 

"I just figured out what I want to paint."

Horus stood there, chest heaving, pupils blown wide. "You're just going to leave me like this?" 

He laughs, a bright and joyful sound, "I didn't exactly bring lube along." 

"I'll run to the corner store and make the most suspicious purchase of my fucking life, I'll even throw in some roses, don't test me."

Lincoln comes back with a bucket of paint and brush in hand. "You can do whatever you want to me back at my apartment. Just keep still." 

He opens the can, a deep blue, and gets to work tracing an outline around Horus, lingering around his hands, leaving kisses as he goes along. Up his arm, over his shoulder, a kiss under his ear. 

"You're making it very hard to stand still, you know." 

"Better keep at it. Don't want to get paint in your hair- hold out your hand a little."

Horus does as asked, moving as little as possible, as Lincoln traces the paint over his head and down his right side. 

Lincoln steps back, admiring his handiwork- or maybe admiring Horus. With the way his eyes darted around it was hard to tell. He turns, reaching for a new brush and another can of bright red paint. It doesn't escape Russ that it's the same shade as the color of his hair. Lincoln holds them out for him to take. 

Horus shakes his head "I'm not much of an artist."

"Just the rough outline, I'll take care of the details." Lincoln stands with his back against the wall, hand overlapping with the silhouette of Horus beside him. 

"Alright, fine. For the birthday boy." 

Horus then realized that he probably had not held a paintbrush in his hands in a decade, if not more. He wasn't nervous per se, but still very cautiously went to work, part of him afraid to mess it all up. He kneels down to get started by Lincoln's legs. The red paint stands in stark contrast against the gray wall, overflow dripping down, and suddenly Horus freezes. 

His hands shake, breath catching in his throat, whole body tense and ready to spring. Blood dripping down the brush, out of a creature's mouth, covering his hands his eyes seeping into his chest the ground thick in the air-

A hand clamps on his arm and distantly his name reaches his ears -"Russ!"- his father telling him to run, Annie calling after him- he tries to pull away, hand balling into a fist so tight that his knuckles ran white, nails digging into his palm, fight or flight instincts setting in and he was afraid and wanted to, no had to fight there was no one else left-

"Horus!" Lincoln's hands frame his face, forcing him to look into his eyes. 

"I'm-" the word comes out as a ragged breath. Adrenaline ebbs out, his heart still racing at a thousand miles a minute, but he was back in the here and now at least. Realizing what had just happened, Horus slaps on his trademark grin, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes. "I'll get lost in your eyes like this." 

"You're shaking." 

His hands still tremble a bit as he pries himself loose, "Low blood sugar, you know how it is. Maybe we should eat some of the take-out before it goes completely cold." he drops the brush back into the bucket, avoiding looking at it too closely. 

"Horus-"

"There's one with chicken and one with beef, which do you want?"

Lincoln wraps himself around him from behind, plucking the beef noodles from the bag. "Talk to me, Russ. You were gone for a moment there." 

Horus hops up onto a crate, opening his food up, his voice quiet, but finding its confidence as he talks. "Ugh. It doesn't usually happen, red is my favorite color, and I've seen worse whenever I need to dye my hair again- seriously makes my bathroom look like someone died there." he lets out a breath, combing his fingers through his hair, "but, I guess the paint just… took me off guard. I'll be fine after I eat something." 

Lincoln sits next to him, frowning, 

"I should have realized-" 

"Don't. Don't start pitying me or, fuckin' saying its your fault. We were just making such good progress in getting you to stop blaming everything on yourself-" 

"That's not true," Linc says matter-of-fact, "I blame plenty on Matthias." 

Horus laughs. "True. But, yeah. I don't want my little episode to ruin this. I won't let it." He nods over, gesturing for Lincoln to go stand at the wall once they're done eating. 

His hand still shakes a little as he traces the outline around him, but everything was further from Horus' mind now. Focus on the motions, focus on his warmth, his voice-

"Look at that. You're a natural." Lincoln says as he draws the final line, vaguely linking the hands of the silhouettes together. 

"Are you gonna start pulling out gold stars next, or what?" He grabs himself a soda from the cooler, and a beer for Lincoln,

"Is that something I'll need to keep in mind?" 

"Everyone likes being told they're doing a good job, no? Don't worry about the drinking by the way, I'll drive us back." 

"Sure, but if I start lamenting about Naruto, cut me off." 

"No, please tell me more about how Naruto and that black haired guy were totally in love." 

"Oh, like you're any better about your space movies." 

"I just have a lot of feelings about the Clones, okay!" 

Conversation flows and time flies as Horus watches Lincoln get to work. It was mesmerizing to see how the piece came together, stroke by stroke; two silhouettes, hand in hand with a ribbon tying their hands together. Horus' figure set in a royal blue, Lincoln framed by an explosive red, the tie that binds them red on one side, blue on the other. The message rang clear; I’m a part of you, you’re a part of me.

"Now all that's left," Lincoln cracks open a black can of paint, dipping in a smaller brush. "is signing it."

He signs his name in beautiful curling letters;

Lincoln & 

Before holding out the brush to Horus, who glady, if a bit messily, adds his name underneath;

Horus Asar

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: sa (csa?), coercive control, physical and verbal abuse, brief mentions of suicide/self-harm/ED

seeking support, validation, advice

Ten years ago, when I was 14, I was forced into a relationship with a boy I went to high school with. He was very mature for his age and i was very naive, and at the time I was left homeless due to my abusive father, possibly had an eating disorder; and I feel like he completely exploited my situation.

Over the span of six months sexual interactions were very frequent. He would force himself onto me and get violent and verbally abusive if I didn’t respond the way he wanted me to. He would hurt me and I would be too afraid to ask him to stop. I didn’t even know what consent was at the time; i was so afraid and I was completely frozen and always felt sick. I have so many gaps in memory too which I hate.

I wasn’t allowed to have friends and I was forbidden to go out anywhere. He admitted to wanting me to be jealous of him, as well as telling me how jealous i make him feel. He would embarrass me in public and trivialise everything I did. It became easier to just stop liking things.

He verbally and physically abused me multiple times, go through EVERYTHING on my phone, controlled what I wore, isolated me from everyone. Everything I did was always wrong. I had nowhere to go, no one to be with except for him. I had no control over my life. I became suicidal and started self harming which seemed to give him pleasure.

People around me just seemed to ignore everything, no one protected me or questioned anything he did.

He then broke up with me saying “You’re holding me back from my life” and that I “emotionally abused” him. So for years I felt like I was a really awful person. He then started dating one of my friends that he isolated me from as she was “not a nice person”. So this just added another layer of confusion and isolation.

For 10 years I’ve been struggling with unending anxiety, depression, guilt, nightmares, irritability, hypervigilance, social withdrawal, etc. He completely stripped me of all identity, i was nothing for so many years afterwards. He destroyed every friendship I had. And I only recently started to make progress on having confidence and identity as an individual and also accepting that he raped and abused me… but then all of a sudden he started following my mother and my old childhood best friend on Instagram - he also tried following my inactive, private account there too. I felt like my entire being was under threat again. I felt so ill. Just the entitlement he still feels he has over my life… even after all these years?? seriously?!

And I honestly don’t think he will ever understand what he actually did to me. Anytime I try to speak up against him people always defend him as if I’m just being bitter. Why would people choose him over me?

I feel more affected now than i did 10 years ago, and having him still lurking around makes me feel so unsafe and violated. I don’t know what he wants from me??

It just confuses me because we were pretty much the same age so I don’t feel valid in accepting it was csa. And also being so young and in a physically abusive relationship just seems so strange.

I have no one to talk to about this situation, i have no support network, and everyone likes him. ~ This is my first time speaking as I am so tired of being silent. I’m just so confused.

~ Rocky 🎀

Hi Rocky 🎀,

First of all thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to come forward, and please know that we believe and support you.

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds like your abuser was controlling and manipulative, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. Please know you're not alone. I was in a remarkably similar situation.

It honestly doesn't matter whether or not he remembers what he did because it doesn't change the fact that he still did it, you know? Also I'm really sorry to hear that people have been defending him. Unfortunately there will always be people like this, but that also means that they aren't necessarily on the right side of things. You know the truth better than them.

If you can, blocking him and encouraging your friends and family to do so as well might help, but definitely keep an eye out and consider documenting anything he tries to do to you.

Please know that age gaps are not the only ways that abusers take advantage of their victims. Other factors can definitely play a part as well, such as gender, cultural or religious beliefs, language barriers, immigration status, substance abuse, physical disabilities, intellectual disabilities, economic dependence, geographical isolation, and a lack of a social support network.

I hope I could help. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[lavender-flowergarden]

First chapter, 2047 words

 I had never been opposed to the idea of finding a partner and going away to spend my life with them. As a little girl, I had always dreamed of marrying Prince Daniel, who was about my age. Or running away with a bad boy. Really, I just hoped to one day be swept off my feet and fall madly in love. I had daydreamed about my perfect wedding for countless hours in elementary school. I played out a whole life of events in my head with a boy I'd had a crush on for years. I had thought about my first kiss, and my first boyfriend all throughout middle and high. But now that I thought more about it, the less tangible the idea became. I wouldn't be able to just leave my mother, not after all this time taking care of her. 

    It's not that she would be alone, she has Gabe and Tracy, it's that I know her better than anyone has in a long time. I know exactly how she likes her hair done, exactly how she likes her eggs, exactly how to make her thumbprint cookies that only taste perfect with one specific brand of jam. I couldn't leave her with a family that felt like strangers. Not if I had a choice. 

     My life had been about her since I was 9 and my father died. Our family was broken, and I lost everyone in a way. I lost a mother who would sing, bake and run around with me in the garden. Now I had a shell of that woman, bound in a wheelchair. I lost my older brother Gabe, who would tease me, who taught me to skateboard, who taught me things all the time. Now I had a distant boy by the same name that slept across the hall. I lost my little brother, Tommy, he was only 6. And my father, Maxwell. 

     I missed my father the most, I think. I missed all the time we would spend together. I missed taking bike rides around the neighborhood a few times a week. I missed everything about my father, and that void had never quite filled itself. He made me feel like I wasn't different from the rest of my family. They all had light brown eyes and chocolate brown hair that went right with their tannish skin. My mother was a beautiful brunette, and my brothers got that from her. But I had red hair, bright red hair. No one knew where that came from. No one knew where my eternally sun-kissed skin or deep brown eyes came from either. Sure, I was pretty, but strange nonetheless. 

     Now I stand here, looking at those bright red curls and deep brown eyes in the lower half of the mirror as I ready myself for another day. I had never really been able to see myself here, because of the high-mounted mirror. Inconvenient for my short ass and my mom. I would have to see if Gabe could do something about it later. 

     Gabe was in his early twenties, but he still lived at home with me, my mom, and Aunt Tracy. He was a Sophomore when the crash happened. He had a broken arm and a couple of broken ribs, but what was damaged the most was his mental state. He had always had trouble with anxiety, and then depression tagged along. He wasn't himself anymore, I don't think he even spoke for at least 6 months afterward. He quit trying in school and went straight to his room every day. I was only 9, so I didn't understand much at the time, but I distinctly remember creeping out of my room one night to see him in our mother's arms crying almost silently. That was when I realized that he wasn't mad at me, he wasn't hiding for fun. There was something wrong. 

     Even now, 8 years later, he's still quiet and keeps to himself. He's helpful when you ask, but he doesn't seem to have the energy to start anything himself anymore. Not even his day. I wake him up on my way out the door for school. Then he gets up, showers, grabs a toaster waffle and goes to work. 

     I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to wake him up. 

     "Knock-knock!" I could hear shuffling, which is strange because he's never up this early. It's barely 6 o'clock. The doorknob starts to turn.

     "Good morning little sister," Gabe said suavely. He doesn't even sound tired. What the hell is going on?

     "Why are you up so early?"

     "C'mon, not even a good morning?" He smiled, and it doesn't look forced, "Alright fine, I want to be more active in this house. I can't sleep all day anymore. Mom said so."

     "Of course," I smirked. 

     "I gotta go, Cass is gonna be here to pick me up in a minute."

     "C'ya Ass!" That's how he shortens my name. I don't mind though, because it's the first time he's done it in forever.

     "Don't call me that!" I called down the hall as I headed for the door. 

——————✧◦♚◦✧——————

     Cassie parks in her usual spot near the auditorium. It's convenient for her to get to after rehearsals 3 days a week. Usually, there were the familiar cars of her fellow theatre kids parked around, but today an unfamiliar little Honda Civic joined the mix. It wasn't a problem though, no one owned the spots. 

     As we walked inside to our lockers, Cassandra nearly talked my ear off about this party she was going to this weekend. I planned to go with her, but I wasn't gonna do much more than chat with a few other people I knew would be there. I would probably end up as the designated driver since I didn't plan on getting wasted. I hated driving, but for the sake of someone else getting home safe, it was worth it I guess. 

     I stopped thinking about that though, once I realized Cass had stopped talking about the party and was trying to point something out to me. 

     "I can't understand what you're saying, Cass. That's my bad ear." I had a bad ear, I lost something like 50% of the function in the car crash. I wasn't too sure, I didn't hear the exact number they told me. 

     "It's Dylan, you dimwit!" She seemed perplexed that I hadn't noticed him first. I usually do, I'm the one that has a massive crush on him. I have since middle school, but I'd never taken a chance and tried to do anything with him. He was my lab partner in 9th grade and he was a nervous wreck like Gabe used to be.  Plus, no one knew a damn thing about him. Dylan was a pretty mysterious guy. The only time you could catch him after school was at baseball practice or a game. And then he'd just disappear until the next school day. It was odd, but I had a crush on him nonetheless.

     "Yes Cassie, and?"

     "You should invite him to the party on Friday"

     "You mean like talk to him?"

     "No shit sherlock"

     "Alright. Fine." I don't know what possessed me to actually do it, but I  spun on my heel and looked at him. He wasn't far away. As I walked toward him, Dylan started to move toward me, but not to me. He probably couldn't even see me, I'm 5'3 and he's at least a foot taller than me. 

     He confirmed that when he stepped on me.

    "Holy shit! Ow!" I couldn't help but yell at him, though I'm sure it was muffled, as I was pressed into his chest. He smelled kind of nice. He stepped back and looked down at me with his crystal blue eyes. I knew I looked like a dumbass, standing there gazing into his eyes, and he definitely knew I liked him. I still hoped he didn't. 

     "Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. are you ok?" He was frantic. Still the same panicky boy I had sat with during most of the 9th grade.

     "I'm fine. I'm fine. I had a question for you anyway."

     "For me? Really?" I guess people didn't ask him things very often. 

     "Yes, you! Are you going to Jack's party on Friday?" Jack was on the baseball team, so I figured Dylan probably already had an invitation. 

     His blue eyes went wide and his pale skin flushed pink. Was he... embarrassed?

     "So, are you going?"

     "Uhm, yeah... Jack, uh... already invited me... a-are you... going?"

     "Yes I am, so I guess I'll see you there," I sounded a bit irritated for some reason. With that, I turned back to Cass and we were off to Chemistry, our first class of the day. 

     "I think he liiiikess youuuu!" She said it in that weird cooning, sing-song voice people do sometimes. It kind of pissed me off. 

     "Shut up Cass, he's always nervous"

     "No, he's not... I had to work with him in French last month and he was perfectly normal."

     "Well, even if he does like me, I don't have time for romance. I have a family to take care of." I was definitely being a bit short with Cassie, but I just wasn't in the mood to listen to her do this right now. 

——————✧◦♚◦✧——————

     The rest of the day passed quite slowly, there wasn't much going on. It was a cloudy Wednesday, it was gloomy and so was everyone's attitude. This was just peachy. 

     Cass dropped me off at my house, she couldn't stay today, she had a family commitment. I envy those. I used to be able to tell people I  had a family commitment to attend, but there was really no family for me to commit to anymore. I had Gade and Mom and Tracy, sure. But we didn't feel like a family. 

     The three of them were all sitting in the living room when I walked in. Mom had parked herself in front of the main window, Gabe was on the couch... reading a book... and Aunt Tracy was watching some talk show on the DVR

     "Good Afternoon, sweetheart," My mother said as she whirled herself around to look at me. She looked tired today. 

     "Hi Mom," That was all I could say before my phone started to ring. It was Cass. I figured it would be something about Dylan. She hadn't stopped talking about it all day. She even wanted to ask him about it during her French class. I had told her not to, but God knows if she had actually listened. I ran off to my room to find out.

     "Aster! Guess what!"

     "Chicken Butt"

     "No silly, it's about Dylan!" I held my breath, "He's got a huge crush on you. He kept asking me questions about you and if you were actually going to the party. I'm gonna set you guys up, I totally ship it."

     "Slow down. How the hell are you gonna set me up with the mysterious baseball boy?"

     "Well, I'm sure he won't be so mysterious when you get to know him." She tried to sound assuring, but really it was quite the opposite. 

    "Whatever you say, Cass, I gotta go."

     I hung up. I had too much to process to think anymore about Cassie or Dylan. For one, I couldn't believe he actually liked me. There was nothing special to like about me. I was a normal, somewhat standoffish girl, yet everyone knew me as the girl that lost her dad in a car crash. He was the star baseball player with friends and people that wished they were his friend, that no one knew anything about. We were complete opposites, but people say opposites attract. 

    I guess the party on Friday would be the prime time to find out. He said he would be there, and I knew I would. Hopefully, he wouldn't be drunk and I'd actually be able to talk to him. But I guess I'd have to wait. 

——————✧◦♚◦✧——————

:000000000

amazing

[the2duchess]

03. Back

summary: After five months away, Lili is finally back in La Push.

word count: 2541

FIVE MONTHS LATER

SETH

HE HAD BEEN counting down the days leading to Lili's return and finally, today was the day she would be coming back to La Push. Much to his chagrin, Lili's mother had brought Lili with her to South America for the summer. He had spent the entire summer depressed, and by now, the entire pack was grateful Lili was finally returning.

"One more week of summer — barely enough time to do any fun summery stuff with her," Seth couldn't help grumbling. He sat at the dining table eating muffins in Emily and Sam's kitchen, constantly checking the clock and shaking his knee.

"Relax Seth! The clock isn't going to tick faster if you keep looking at it," Jared said, nonchalantly stealing a muffin from Seth's hand — and the poor boy hadn't even noticed.

"There will be plenty of time. In fact, you can go cliff-diving this afternoon. If she's up for it, of course." Emily said patiently, ruffling his hair. "Sam just called me and said that they're just entering Forks.

"Ah, Sam. If my memory serves me right, he didn't take it too well, didn't he?" Paul said, a glint in his eye.

Seth had known that eventually Sam would find out about the imprint. So two weeks after the happy couple returned from their honeymoon — Seth wanted them to remain blissful in their ignorance for at least a few more days — Seth garnered enough courage to tell Sam.

And he hit the roof. Almost literally. There would be a wolf-shaped hole in the ceiling of their house if Seth hadn't had the foresight to tell him out in the yard, where Sam was free to phase. A pity though, because these days, Sam was trying to gain enough control to stop phasing.

"What the hell were you thinking? Imprinting on my baby sister like that?!" Sam yelled, throwing Seth to the ground.

"I didn't have a choice! And I swear I won't hurt her."

"She doesn't know anything about our world." Sam hissed. "And now she's going to be dragged straight into the danger I tried to protect her from."

All those years of distancing Lili from himself and his world now felt worthless. Lili had been safe, albeit resentful of him for his apparent abandonment. But now, it felt like his sacrifices, their unhappiness for the sake of Lili's safety, had been for naught.

Sam let out an outraged yell and phased, Seth a second after him. Good call, since the moment Sam was in his wolf form, he pounced on Seth.

Hey, cool it Sam! The pack, also in their wolf form, tried to pull Sam off Seth. When they were able to, Sam still tried to attack again. They tried to nudge Seth out of the way, but he stood his ground, uncharacteristically baring his teeth and growling.

You will stay away from her.

You know I can't do that.

Sam fought to break away from the grip of his pack. But he gnashed his teeth together. Fine. But she will not know about the imprint until a time I see fit, got that? She will not be pressured into falling for some goon. In one of the rarest occurrences, he was using his Alpha voice.

Seth's knees knocked together under the command, but managed to say with as much strength as he could muster, Fine.

At the sound of Sam's Jeep driving up the road, Seth jumped out of his chair at the speed of lightning. His keen sense of hearing allowed him to be the first one by the door, ready to greet Lili.

"Easy, Seth," Embry said. "Sam probably still isn't happy about it. Especially when Lili's around."

But Seth didn't really care. All he could think of was the fact that Lili was finally home.

LILI

The animosity in the Jeep wasn't as bad as the time when I came to La Push for the wedding. I didn't hiss when Sam sang along to Bon Jovi. I rolled up the windows when he told me to do so. And I said thank you when he mentioned they were throwing a homecoming party for me.

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Do you want something, Lili?"

"Nothing." I sang. "Just happy to be home."

"Hmm." His mood abruptly took a turn, as if he was remembering something unpleasant.

But I was in high spirits. "Oh Sam, did you know I saw a wolf near Aunty Allison's house the day after the wedding, just before we left for the airport? It was so gorgeous."

"A wolf?" Sam's voice was curiously quiet, yet brimming with an emotion I couldn't quite place. "And what did the wolf look like?"

"His fur was the exact shade of desert-sand. He looked pretty young, perhaps a teenager. He looked kinda funny, like he was going through a growth spurt, because his limbs appeared far too long for the rest of his body." I paused. "Sorry. I've just been giving it an awful amount of thought, because the moment I saw him, he let out this really sad, mournful howl. Is there a problem with wolves in La Push? Because I don't remember —"

"Damn it." Sam gripped the wheel tightly. From then on, he did not say anything.

As we pulled up to his house, I timidly asked, "Are you sure you don't want me staying at Aunty Allison's house? I would hardly like to disturb your domestic bliss."

"You're my sister." He gave me a little smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Before I could step out of the Jeep, Seth emerged out of the house and was beside my car door in a flash.

"Hey you guys!" He said brightly. I found myself smiling at the sight of him. In some weird way, I had really missed him. Although I really loved spending the summer with my mother in South America, there was a teeny tiny part of me that had wanted to go back to La Push.

All for him.

"Let me get your stuff." He took my suitcase and backpack from Sam, who gave him an unexpectedly disgruntled look.

In the house, Emily hugged me tightly, while the others — comprising of Paul, Embry, Jared, and Quil — welcomed me back cheerily. Thankfully, they were all wearing shirts this time.

"It's nice to see you guys again." And I meant it. I turned to Seth, "It's nice to see you too, Seth." I kept my voice cool.

"Didn't expect you to remember me." The joy in his voice was evident. Although my mood had been elevated ever since arriving in La Push, it escalated even higher just with just hearing his voice.

I said coolly, "Of course I remember you. We danced at the wedding, remember?"

And I had not stopped listening to our song ever since. No matter what, Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae would be my favourite song forever and ever.

And we were just smiling at each other. I felt my cheeks grow warm. Seth opened his mouth as if to say something, but suddenly, Sam pushed in between us.

"Alright, I'll take Lili's bags to her room." Sam practically snatched my things from Seth, and gave him a look I wasn't able to see since his back was to me. Sam then put an arm around my shoulder and steered me my room.

When we were alone, he closed the door. "Lili, as much as I want you to settle in La Push, I don't think you should hang around Seth so much."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's going to happen if we're friends?"

"Lils, please don' be difficult."

"Sam, I thought you want me to make friends. Seth's my age, he's going to the Forks high school with me, it's perfect. It's not as if I'm going to be making babies with him."

There was a shout of laughter from the living room, accompanied by a sharp smack. Oops.

He winced. "Please don't say that Lili."

"Just because I'm living under your roof doesn't mean you get to control every aspect of my move. I get to hang out with whomever I want, and that constitutes Seth Clearwater." I glared at him. "You know, I don't get why you're so hellbent on separating Seth and me. We literally met at your wedding. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met."

"You have no idea what goes on in an eighteen-year-old boy's mind."

I groaned loudly. "Sam! You're so weird, we are literally just friends." I lowered my voice to a hiss. "Seth does not deserve this kind of distrust. He is nice and sweet and helpful, much more than you're being right now. So what if I like him? You can't stop me."

When I came out into the living room, everyone appeared to be in some kind of shock. It was a funny sight, them having put on party hats when Sam and I were talking, but absolutely frozen. Mouths slightly open and everything. There was also a red mark on Paul's arm which I swore was fading by the second.

"Everyone ... alright?" I asked hesitantly.

"T-Totally!" Seth's face was pink, and his smile was brighter than the sun. "Amazing! Wonderful! Awesome! On top of the world! Let's go get our grub on!"

"Shut up, Seth," Quil hissed.

"Who's up for pizza?" Emily asked.

SETH

Despite acting like a complete idiot, Lili still chose to sit next to Seth during lunch. True, it was the only place left — a feat orchestrated by Paul and Jared, who could not stop giggling — but she didn't not look happy about it.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you to the school to get you registered and everything." Emily said to Lili. "Are you hoping to try out for any extracurriculars?"

She thought about it for a minute. "I was thinking of joining the cheerleading team."

Seth spat out his pizza. Everyone stared at him.

"Um ... pizza went down the wrong way. You were saying, Lili?"

"I searched online, and Forks seems to have a pretty good cheerleading team. I was a cheerleader back in my old school in San Francisco, and I really liked it."

Emily nodded. "Oh, yes. The Cheerios are pretty good. They've even appeared in the newspapers a couple of times."

"I may just join the Cheerios, since I think I'll be put on the honour roll — I don't want to get too overwhelmed."

"Wow, Lili. You are such a well-rounded girl." Jared said, clapping his hands slowly. He smirked at Seth. "Don't you agree with me, Sethy boy?"

Once again, everyone looked towards Seth. Sam's eyes looked especially dangerous, glinting like that. So scary, in fact, that Seth had no idea what to do or say.

"Seth's going to the Forks high school with you, did you know?" Emily said, in an effort to break the tension. "You'll have someone to hang out with, since Embry, Quil, and Jacob have already graduated. Seth's starting his final year, and you're going to be in the year below him."

Paul snickered. "That's not going to be the only way she's gonna be bel —"

"Enough!" Seth gasped. If they said one more word, he was sure he was going to die of embarrassment. Or under Sam's wrath. He turned to Lili. "You wanna go cliff-diving?"

Lili smiled at him. "I'd love to."

—

LILI

However, Emily made us wait a good half-hour after lunch before going cliff-diving. We spent that time just sitting around in the living room, and I occasionally retreated to my room to unpack a few of my things. Sometimes, Seth followed me to my room and asked me a question or two about my summer in South America. And it wasn't just out of sheer politeness — it felt like he really and truly wanted to know about me. Never had anyone ever paid that much attention to me. The very memory of it sent shivers down to my toes.

After Emily felt satisfied that we weren't going to throw up if we went cliff-diving, we all got into Jared's car and drove to the cliff. Paul left early, citing that he had to work out. Weird, for I figured cliff-diving was an activity he would never afford to miss. Sam and Emily also chose to skip out, saying that they wanted to watch some romantic movie together.

"No funny business, young lady," Sam said warningly just before we left.

"You're not my dad, you know. You can't call me young lady." I sighed. "I've been without a fatherly figure for most of my life, and I've turned out great!"

Sam did nothing but roll his eyes. But in truth, especially when I was little, I sort of considered him to be a bit of a father slash older brother figure to me. But I would never admit that to him.

I didn't wear a swimming suit, which was just as well. Imagine wearing a bikini, jumping off a cliff, then losing said bikini in the process. I would have absolutely died of mortification. So, I decided to just wear my shorts and tank top.

When we got there, I jumped out of the car to check out the cliff ... then immediately walked back.

The boys were just getting out of the car. "Why? You scared?" Quil snickered, the other boys snickering too.

Except for Seth. His eyes were crinkled with what appeared to be concern.

"Are you afraid of heights?" He asked softly.

I frowned. "Anyone who's human would be afraid of jumping down what, a 50ft height?"

They all gave each other this really infuriating look that I couldn't really identify. "What?!" I demanded.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Embry sang, smirking slightly. I narrowed my eyes, but before I could say anything, I was interrupted by this sudden loud whoop.

"Let's go!" Jared shouted, ripping his shirt off — to my obvious shock — and subsequently hurling himself off the cliff.

"Oh my god!" I shrieked. I ran to the edge of the cliff, where in the sea, I saw the water ripple and froth. A second later, Jared's head popped up as he whooped. I turned to the boys. "I know I'm supposed to be a cheerleader, but this is insane. You guys are total adrenaline junkies. What the heck?! Is this what people in La Push do in their spare time?"

"It's what we do." Embry grinned. "Honestly, it's fun. Try it! You only live once."

Seth was suddenly by my side in an instance. "C'mon — we'll do it together."

Quil whistled, and I rolled my eyes.

We walked to the edge of the cliff. As I stood there, thinking What the hell am I doing here?, I felt a hand wrap over mine.

"Hey," he whispered. "It's alright." His hand was warm, covering mine completely. I could feel the slight roughness of his palms, the steadiness of his breathing.

I breathed shakily. "Easy for you to say. You promise we won't hit any rocks or anything?"

"I promise. We've been doing this all summer, and there's nothing wrong with us!"

I scoffed. Seth beamed.

"See! I made you laugh. Now, do you feel any better?"

" I guess ..." I peered uneasily over the edge, then let out a small shriek of terror. "Oh my god, I am really doing this."

"Yes, you are." He stopped smiling and stared into my eyes. Gosh. In those five months I had been away, I had really missed those gorgeous brown eyes of his. "Take a leap. You ready?"

I nodded. He squeezed my hand.

"Good." His face stretched into his thousand-watt smile. "Now. Let's jump!"

I took the leap.

Hellooo everyone! Sorry for such the long hiatus, university has totally taken a toll on me and to be frank, I had no idea what to write or how to continue the story. But I'm back now, and hopefully, my spark of inspiration will last for a good while ;) Enjoy!! 

p.s. This is also up on my AO3 account :))

[haitaniplug]

CLASS PROJECT CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

summary - you really want to go abroad for the summer, but your grades fucking SUCK, so your parents won’t allow you to until you get them up. you were so ready to focus on the rest of the year until you get partnered up with Rindou Haitani. The boy that comes into school once every blue moon. And to make matters worse, it’s a project where participation counts. So now it’s your job to harass Rindou into getting his shit straight.

tags - enemies to friends to lovers , angst , crack , college au, eventual smut , fluff.

status - ongoing

series masterlist

Taglist: @q-the-rockaholic @crown5 @gumiwaka @hiimviolet @gulfkfl @sirachano0dles @imjustaweirdnerd @aki-ra26 @haitanic @denkis-slut @shujiswife @genderfluidkurapika @shibera @minnieminnie00-got7

Rindo Haitani doesn't do depression. Sure, he's been and seen a lot of fucked up shit in his life, but normally he would just suck it up and call it a night. He'd get sad yes— but to actually get into his feelings and maybe cry? 

Nah.

So you can only imagine his confusion when he literally cannot find the energy to even get out of bed. The only thing on his mind is you. Well was you.

He doesn't even have the energy to think. He feels like a blank canvas now, nothing on his mind, but at the same time has everything on his mind.

He wants to bring himself to talk to you, maybe apologise for overreacting, but then he'd be lying to himself, because he knows he didn't overreact.

You were willing to throw away your life and just move to a whole new country to meet some woman who probably forgot all about your existence since it's been 18 whole years.

Does she even remember your name?

Ran watched from the crack of Rindou's door as his brother just laid in bed, in the darkness like some edgy alt kid. Rolling his eyes, he obviously feels bad for his brother but Rindou isn't helping his case by hiding in his room all day instead of going out and confronting the issue at hand.

It's been a week and there's nothing but radio silence from Rindou and you were starting to get worried. You spammed his phone, messages and social media but nothing. 

You tried to contact Ran but that failed to since he didn't want to talk to you.

Your life felt like it was crumbling slowly. Every single day, something bad would happen that would make the previous day feel like nothing in comparison to. 

You and Aya spoke about it, and she told you that she felt like he was overreacting and if he really loved you, then he'd understand your decision. 

You and Akira spoke and he said the complete opposite to what Aya said, telling you that it was foolish of you to throw away a relationship over something like that, and there was other ways of coming into contact with your mother. 

You went to bed conflicted on what you should do. Deep down you wanted to be with Rindou, since he helped you take your mind off of certain things in your life. Being with Rindou just brightened your day tremendously, so you can only imagine how low you felt when he's flat out ignoring you. 

One night before bed, you brought out your phone, fingers hovering over Rindou's contact, contemplating whether you should ring him for the umpteenth time over the last week. 

Pressing the call button, your hands were shaking as the line rung, then hearing it go straight to voicemail, just like the other calls you left him. 

"Of course," you mumbled, sighing defeated as you tossed your phone on your bed. Covering your face with both palms as you fought the urge to cry yourself to sleep, just like every other night.

Till your phone started to vibrate. 

You thought it was Aya sending you some shitty voice notes so you ignored it. Dipping your head further into your pillow, until the vibrating stopped. You stayed in that depressing position for  5minutes, till you decided you should probably turn off your phone and sleep.

Just as you grabbed your phone, you saw a missed call notification from Rin ♥. You sat up too quickly it almost gave you whiplash. Swiping the notification and pressing call back as you bit your nails anxiously. 

Every single ring the line gave you increased your anxiety, stomach churning as you waited to hear his voice on the other end of the line. 

It was about 8 rings in and you were about to lose hope until you heard a faint, "Hello?"

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry-,"

You both said simultaneously and you paused, "You go first,"

Rindou was silent for a couple seconds before speaking up again, voice faint. "I'm sorry, for um disappearing so suddenly and not contacting you. It was stupid and petty of me."

You looked down, feeling guilty that you even brought him to that point. "You shouldn't apologise for that. It was my fault that you even did that to begin with."

Silence filled the called and you shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say. It has never been this awkward before. "Rin?" You called out softly to make sure he was still there.

"Hm?"

"I'm going to stay."

......

Silence again and it made you feel anxious. "Rindou?"

"Sorry I was just," Rindou muted the call as he processed what to say and not seem like a total idiot. "You mean that? Like for real?"

"Yeah, I did some thinking over the week and I think it's stupid to move all the way over there, cause like, what if she has a whole new family that I don't know about. I'll look stupid as hell trying to fit in somewhere I don't," You say, before pausing. 

"I get you," Rindou mutters, trying to sound all nonchalant but inside he's freaking the fuck out. He was actually going to call you to try and get you to change your mind, but hearing your voice just made him freeze up. 

He missed you so so much. He missed your voice, your face, your touch. Your everything. 

"Soooo," you say before pressing your lips into a firm line, "how've you, um, been?"

"You don't have to be so awkward," Rindou laughs airly and it made your stomach churn. He sounds so cute.

"Sorry, I just, shit." You looked down, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." 

.....

"We good right?" You just wanted to clarify and you heard him hum in agreement. "I'm so happy, the whole week I felt like total shit."

"Same here, I didn't even get out of bed." Rindou stated, "it was so bad, Ran told me I looked like an edgy alt kid." 

Rindou's smile grew when he heard you laugh. He missed that sound too.

"How are you by the way?" You sat up, feeling more comfortable on the line, "I shoulda asked that first hm?"

"I'm good— actually feeling better now that I'm hearing your voice. Dunno how I went 18 years without it to be honest."

Just as you were about to respond, there was a knock on your door, ultimately dropping your entire mood. "One second Rin," you say before muting the call. "What?" you called out to the door, sighing when your father's head peek out through the crack.

"Bed time princess." Your dad spoke out soflty.

"I'm not tired," you roll your eyes as you glare at him but he sent you a look that instantly made you feel bad, "Fine..."

"I love you, good night," He blew you a kiss before shutting your door. You took a deep breath before unmuting the call, "I have to go to bed now, sorry Rin."

"It's alright. Get lots of sleep, goodnight."

"I love you." you blurted out and you could hear his airy laugh before responding, "I love you too." 

You smiled as you ended the phone call, now able to sleep without anxiety.