#he seems like a chill guy I’d like to get high with him

[lacontroller1991]

Rumors (Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader)

Main Master List || Misc Master List

Summary: After you believed he was dead, it comes as a shock to you that he's alive and wrecking havoc.

Warnings: 18+, HEAVY LANGUAGE, drug usage, drinking, mention of cannibalism, violence, gun slinging, blood, nudity, fighting

Author's Note: I swear I'll work on my other requests but the Cooper Howard brain rot is REAL and its STRONG, anywho, first time so let me know how you guys like it :)

Word Count: 3k

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In the wastelands of California, rumors get you killed and you’ve heard rumors. Whispers of his return. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him. Since he left you on your own in the middle of a gun fight to collect his bounty; and it nearly cost you your life. 

The last you’ve heard about him was that he was 6 feet deep and locked in a coffin with no way of escaping, unless someone purposely dug him out. Yet, you can’t think of a single person who would. Still, rumors spread like wildfire, and you’d be damned if you don’t try and get revenge.

-----------

The California sun beats down on your back. The heat weighs you down, but not as much as the pain in your chest. He let you believe that he cared about you. He really fooled you into a sense of partnership, romance, but you really should’ve known. Cooper Howard is a lone wolf, nothing and nobody will stand in his way. 

The site of Filly in the distance is a welcoming sight. If anyone has seen anything, it would have been here. It doesn’t take you long to cross the remaining distance, sweat dripping down your back as you enter the market. 

“Haven’t seen ya in a while (Y/N).” A local merchant snides with a creepy smile, showcasing his rotten teeth. Walking over to your side, he runs a hand down your arm and you resist the urge to gag. “What are ye in town for?” 

“Information.” You eye the stairs that are being fixed, along with other wooden structures, a signature sign that he’s been here.

“Looking for your Ghoul, huh?” His face is offly close to yours and it’s enough for you to draw your gun, casually pressing it into his side, causing him to instantly back off. “He was here two days ago. Got in a firefight with a knight, seemed like he was after a bounty.” You scoff. Of course he is. Anything for those damn vials. Vials. At the thought of vials a malicious smile forms on your face. Sooner or later, he will need to get more, and you’ll be there when he does. 

Holstering your gun, you flip him a bottle cap in appreciation before stalking off, heading to the one place you know he will be.

By the time the sun sets, you’re settled in an abandoned building, low enough to the ground where you can see what’s coming, but high enough to be out of any immediate danger. Wrapping your arms around yourself tighter, you can’t help but to think about the times where you and him would be shoulder to shoulder, barely touching, but enough to make butterflies fly in your stomach.

Despite his ghoulish appearance, you find him to be quite handsome. His rugged cowboy exterior does barely enough to hide the last shred of humanity he has, and at times, it was directed towards you. With a sigh, you let your eyes shut, sleep easily consuming over you.

-----------

“Please, let me go.” A feminine voice stirs you from your unconsciousness as your eyes blink against the harsh light of the sun. “Please, sir, I’m begging you.” Shuffling slightly, you peer your head past the concrete wall, spotting two figures, one in a blue/yellow vault-tec suit and the other in a cowboy hat with a lasso around the girl. 

“Well I’d be damned,” it’s hushed and to yourself, afraid of him hearing you and spotting you.

“I done told you vaultie, ain’t gonna happen. You deaf or sum?” His drawl sends chills down your spine as he nudges her forward with the tip of his gun. “Now hur-” his words are cut off by a coughing fit but his grip on the lasso remains. After regaining his breath, he wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Hurry up. I ain’t got all day.” You watch in silence as the pair walks past your hideout, unaware of your existence. Grabbing your things, you rush off after them, making sure to stay in the shadows as your brain goes through different scenarios of what could happen. Would you and Cooper make up? Would he try to kill you? Would you try to kill him? Does he even care? The closer they get to the supermart, the more you hang back, hand slightly hovering over your gun. 

Trying to listen to the conversation, you strain your ears but to no avail. Peeking over an abandoned car, you focus your eyes on the situation ahead of you, watching as he gestures for the girl to go through the sliding glass door. The minute they shut, he collapses on the ground and you resist the urge to go and help him. Sighing, you open the bag at your side, rummaging through a variety of equipment before your fingers run over the cool glass of the vials that keep him sane. “That’s just ironic,” you chuckle, looking back to him still laying on the ground, a slight tang of pity radiating through your chest. If there’s anything you hate about yourself, it’s that. You’re too soft for people who have no problem leaving you out to dry. 

You could confront him now, kick him while he’s down, but being dramatic is more fun. It’s useless trying to talk to him when he’s in that sorry state. 

An hour later and you’re still outside, covering from the sun and waiting for the right moment to make your appearance. The sight of the vaultie walking alone gathers your attention as you keep out of sight? Now how the hell did she manage to escape? You’re not an idiot, everyone and their mamas know that the SuperDuper Mart takes in bodies and harvests the organs, selling them to the highest bidder. So how on this God forsaken planet did she escape practically unscathed? As she walks further away you ponder the possibility that maybe you and everyone on the surface has really underestimated the ones who live below. 

Once she is out of sight, you rush out from your hiding spot and toward the mart, hoping to find him. “Well, he isn’t where I saw him last,” you huff out, drawing your gun from its holster as you walk through the glass door, keeping your eyes vigilant. With the mart being practically empty aside from overturned themed rides, it’s easy to hear a person stumbling around, knocking stuff over. 

By the time you spot him, his back is to you, head tipped slightly back as he downs a bottle of alcohol he found. The sound of you cocking your gun causes him to freeze in place, and if you were facing him, you would spot the smile on his face. 

“You ain’t gonna shoot me now, are ya?” Your silence is deafening and you don’t move an inch, not really sure if you would actually shoot him or not.  “Was wonderin’ when you were gonna find me.”

“It’s pretty easy to find a drug addicted ghoul these days, especially ones that have a penchant for the dramatics.” You keep your gun trained on his back as he slowly turns around, dropping the glass bottle and letting it shatter to the floor. 

“Me? Dramatic? I don’t think I’m the dramatic one sweetheart. You’re the one who came in here, guns blazing. I think you’re the dramatic one.” He takes a step forward, and another, and another, until his chest is pressed right against the nozzle of your gun. “Now why don’t you put your gun down and give Coop a big ki-” your gun whacks across his face, tearing the flesh slightly only for it to heal right away, causing him to growl. His gloved hand reaches up and wraps around your throat, hoisting you against the wall while you struggle in his grasp. “That’s no way to greet me. Where are your manners?” He asks, his southern accent penetrating each word.

“Fucker,” raising a leg, you kick between his with all you can muster and spit on his face, the shock being enough to let you loose and allowing you to slip out. 

He looks at you for a second before laughing sadistically, using his thumb to collect your spit and put it in his mouth, closing his eyes as if he was savoring it. “I missed you kitten.”

Scoffing, you holster your gun and take a seat on the couch, turning your attention to the tv where you spot a young, handsome, human Cooper Howard on the screen. “Really Coop? You’re that full of yourself?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he plops down next to you before taking another bottle and giving that a swig. “Was the only half decent shit in this hell hole,” at the mention of the place, you take a proper look around, bodies laying everywhere, some human, some ghoul, and even a robot.

“The fuck happened here?”

“Was traveling with a vault dweller, traded her for some vials but I guess she didn’t take too well to the idea of her organs being sold,” he comments nonchalantly, twisting off the cap of a vial and draining the liquid into his mouth while you look at him like he grew two heads. 

“You’re meaning to tell me that that vault dweller managed to do all this?”

“Did I stutter?” Now you know you really underestimated the people in the vaults. You honestly wonder if they’re all like this or is she just some random four leaf clover. “Why’d you come in here raisin hell anyway?”

Leaning back on the couch, you look forward to the tv, trying to concentrate on the handsome man on the screen instead of the one sitting next to you, “heard you were dead.”

“The details of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Still doesn’t answer my question,” he looks at you with a look that says ‘I frankly don’t give a shit’ but something deep down inside of you tells you that he does. 

“I’m pissed as hell that you left me. I thought we were partners?” Rolling his eyes, he laps at a random white powder laying on the table before leaning back.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. Didn’t see a need to stick around. You got what you wanted and I got what I wanted. Seemed like a fair trade.” 

A sigh escapes your mouth as you take the bottle from his one hand and downed it, scrunching your nose as the alcohol burns down your throat and lights a fire in your stomach. How can he be so naive? You had initially joined him when you were both after the same group of people, but for vastly different reasons. He had wanted the large bounty on the head of the leader and you wanted to find your past lover, but somewhere along the route to finding them you developed feelings for the Ghoul sitting next to you, and you thought he developed them too. You initially didn’t spot him when the shooting started, too occupied with the Ghoul pressing his back against yours, the two of you working in tandem. Everything happened so fast and before you knew it, you were the only one shooting back at the group of people, most of them lying dead and your companion nowhere to be seen. The bounty was also gone.

He had left you on your own and it hurt. It also didn’t help that once the shooting was over and you remained, you found your former lover in the arms of another. It’s true that you found who you wanted, but at what cost? Was it really your lover than you wanted or was it Cooper Howard, the Ghoul, who you wanted?

Realistically, you know the answer. It’s pretty obvious by the way that when you heard he was alive, you practically dropped everything in pursuit of him. Taking another swig of the alcohol you ponder over your next course of actions. Should you admit your feelings for him or should you leave it? Looking back at the tv, you watch the former Cooper Howard get down from his horse, gun in hand and hat tipped ever so slightly over his eyes, much like how the man next to you does. He’s never going to be the same man again, you know that, but maybe he still has the ability to love? “I love you, you know?”

Cooper looks over to you with a puzzled look on his face before it goes blank and your heart sinks. If there was any sort of superpower you could have right now, it would 100% be mind reading. “You’re stupid.” 

“Right. Yep. Totally.” You’re pissed. You took a gamble and lost. Laid your heart on the line only for it to be destroyed. Swallowing down your pride, you get up from your seat and holster your gun, taking a couple of vials for safe keeping. “Have a good life Coop.” You don’t bother turning back, tears welling in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid? Of course he doesn’t return the feeling. You kick the dead body out of your way, too overwhelmed with your emotions to realize that he is calling your name. A hand wrapping around your wrist stirs you from your thoughts as he hand spins you around to face him, a soft look gracing his features.

“I ain’t finished,” it’s soft. Softer than anything you’ve ever heard from him but you yank your hand away, rebuilding the walls around your heart.

“I don’t wanna he-” he cuts you off with a rough kiss against your lips, his arms wrapping around your body and holding you close as his scarred lips move against yours. The kiss is rough, demanding, but also loving, intimate. It’s enough to make you dizzy. Pulling away, he keeps you in his grasp as you look up at him through blown eyes, trying to figure out what he’s playing at. “Coop?”

“Shh darlin’. You didn’t let me finish. I said you’re stupid. Stupid for loving someone like me. I’m no good for anyone, especially you, you should know this.” You can tell by the restraint in his voice that he fully means what he’s telling you. Smiling softly, you dust off his duster and pull on his vest, straightening out his clothes as he watches you, not really sure what to make of your intentions. 

“Y’know, there was this one cowboy I met years ago and when I asked how he survived as long as he has and you know what he told me?”

“What’s that?”

“We take it as it comes.” He closes the bridge between the two of you with his mouth against yours, this time it’s more eager. Taking in your bottom lip, he bites hard enough to draw blood, causing you to gasp in surprise. Using that to his advantage, his tongue slips in, exploring every crevice of the mouth that he’s longed for.

“Well ain’t this sweet. We have a ghoul and a ghoulfucker. I wonder what that sex looks like,” you and Cooper pull away abruptly, you eye the three men in sheriff uniforms while Cooper scowls, annoyed by their presence. Moving towards them, Cooper raises his hands in false surrender while you get behind his back, one hand reaching for his shotgun and the other reaching for your own gun, ready to draw at any moment. 

“What can I do for you folks?” The three men eye each other before pointing their guns at Cooper, you still standing behind him, ready to take on each of them.

“Destroying a legitimate business? That’s illegal around these parts,” one speaks up, aviators covering his eyes as he moves around to get a better view of you. “My my, don’t tell me this pretty little thing did all this damage. Why don’t you raise your hands sweetheart, let’s see that gorgeous figure.” 

If looks could kill, that man would be 12 feet under and blasted to high heaven with the biggest nuke Cooper could find. “I’d be careful if I were you, she may be pretty, but she's also a pint sized atom bomb.” His head tilts, telling you all that you needed to know. Reaching for your gun, you quickly shoot the two companions as Cooper lunges for the man who dared to flirt with you. Kicking the gun away from reach, Cooper wraps his hand around the throat of the sheriff and hoists him in the air while you loot their supplies. Turning the men around, you cut their pants off, leaving their backside exposed for Cooper to take his fair share of ass jerky. The man in his grasp squirms at the site of his counterparts being exposed, but Cooper’s grip doesn’t falter.

“Why are you sick freaks doing this?” The man continues to struggle in Cooper’s grasp, hands trying to claw away at skin but to no avail as you load your gun, sliding over to the duo. 

“Wanna do the honors sweetheart?” It’s rare that Cooper offers anybody anything, let alone a kill and it takes you a minute to process his proposal.

“We do this for the love of the game.” A gunshot rings out while the man goes limp in Cooper’s hand, brains splattered on the floor below you. Dropping the man, Cooper’s eyes flit to your body, chest rising and falling as you come off the adrenaline high. 

“Now that was hot as hell sweetheart. You sure know how to make an impression on an old man.” 

“Is that right?”

“‘m afraid so.” His eyes watch as you begin to unbuckle your armor, letting it fall from your frame to the floor.

“Then come and get me cowboy.”

@reveluving

[icomefromthemountains]

Lord forgive me for I have something to say about Father Mulcahy

[missmeinyourbones]

CLEAN ME UP 

c/w: established relationship, hurt/comfort, light mentions of blood and injury, atsumu lowkey gets his ass beat </3 but he is so sweet

Atsumu sits crisscrossed on the floor of your bathroom with a tender black eye and a busted lip—and though this should be a rare thing, you need all five fingers to count the number of times you’ve seen this film before.

The first two were ages ago, high school days when he and Osamu couldn’t stop themselves from throwing a punch or two over nothing at all. Their egos too big and brains too small, twice you'd gotten roped into their post-brawl aftercare. Another time it was a fight off the court, when a rival captain made a snide remark about his foul accent. The fourth, a drunken, immature mistake.

Tonight’s wounds are different. Because when Atsumu nonchalantly shows up black and blue at your door, he doesn’t tell you what happened. There’s no story attached to the bruises he bares, no lengthy explanations or excuses. And Atsumu is a lot of things, but speechless is never one of them. 

He looks childish, you think, the way his broad body folds itself into a tiny pretzel and hardly takes up a corner of your tiled floor. He’s oddly quiet, too. Sure, you heard his witty comments down the hallway about how you should see the other guy, but something’s still off. His eyes aren't lit with their usual flame of youth, pride. 

Only a few words are exchanged through the process of cleaning him up. Between wet washcloths and tiny sniffles, Atsumu fumes, You haven't asked enough questions yet, and it’s beginning to freak him out. He doesn't know whether or not he should be grateful or unsettled with your silence.

A frozen bag of vegetables presses against his left eyelid when you finally ask, "What the hell did you do this time?"

Atsumu smiles at the mere sound of your voice, an instant warmth against the burning ice on his body. "Why's it always my fault?"

You remove the bag from his brow to shoot him a look, that look. He knows better than to argue with that look. Arguing with that look gets him nothing but trouble and an achy back from a night on the couch. So, he diverts. 

"Nothing,” he sulks. “He started it, and—"

"—And you finished it, right?" 

Your words are meant to be sarcastic, at his dispense of how stupid he behaved, but Atsumu doesn't take them as such. Instead, at your interruption, he shoots you an earnest smile filled with satisfaction and dried blood stretched across his chapped lips.  

"See? So smart, baby." 

His hand rises to pet your chin but you lean back quick enough to dodge his caress. His eyes fall to the bag of vegetables that now sits by your lap. 

“Atsumu,” you try again, foreboding. 

He rolls his head back in a huff against the bench of the bathtub, and the ceramic feels warm against his neck compared to the still stinging chill on his eye. 

“What was I supposed to do? They were bein’ assholes.”

His whole team had gone out drinking tonight for a celebratory round or five, followed by a few days off. And as charming as Atsumu is, he does have his foes. People in the volleyball world he’s not the biggest fan of, for reasons he doesn’t seem to discuss with you. He likes to leave it at his good intuition, something you know he lacks.  

With the context clues provided, you can think of two or three people he’s implying. 

His reasoning is flawed, to say the least, but the way he says it has your heart breaking in the slightest. He avoids eye contact, as if he's embarrassed, dancing around the subject and wishing the ground to swallow him whole. 

His shyness has you trying a softer approach. 

“Everyone is an asshole,” you whisper, lightly returning pressure to his eye with the makeshift ice, “if punching assholes was reasonable, I’d do it all the time.”

Atsumu smiles a bit at that, but you catch how he winces slightly at the movement. 

“Yer so funny, baby,” he tries to trail off. “Funniest person I—”

“Miya,” comes his second warning, and by the look in your eye, he’s not brave enough to try for a third.

“Fine,” he grumbles, “but when yer a Miya, I’m playing that card on you, too. Y’know that, right?” 

You nod, and whether it's to his proposal or to encourage his words, you don't know. But it works, because Atsumu takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling again. 

“This time was different, okay?”

His tone is eerily soft. One only you get the privilege of hearing, and not because it's out of love, but because it's out of hate. Something’s shaken him so bad, he’s almost been rendered speechless. 

“How was it different?”

“They were talking about you,” he shakily exhales. “Sayin’ stupid shit that isn’t true.”

Your heart softens as you do your best to keep a strong facade, but maybe Atsumu does have good intuition, as his hand squeezes yours through the quick moment of silence. 

“If it’s not true, then it shouldn't have mattered, right?” you try.

“No,” he’s quick to work himself up again, eyes finding yours. “Like hell was I gonna let ‘em keep talking about you like that, ‘specially when I’m right fuckin’ there.” 

Your fingers lightly skim his jaw, nowhere sensitive but he jumps all the same. You apply pressure to tilt his head, forcing him to find your gaze. He does.

“Do you want to tell me what they said?”

Atsumu gaze softens, and after a moment of thinking, he shakes his head. 

“No,” he decides, “I don’t.” 

His eyes fall to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Do you want to know?”

You smile at his sincerity. Atsumu, who you know to be just as sweet as he is boisterous, would tell you if you asked. He’d do anything you ask. But, you decide against it. 

“No. No, I don’t.” 

Atsumu exhales a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he lets his head nuzzle against your palm. Contrary to the ice, it's warm and soft on his skin. He thinks it could heal wounds faster than any bag of broccoli ever could. 

“I trust you,” he hears you coo into his hairline, kisses now dancing along his forehead and jaw, “even if you do have the emotional intelligence of a middle school boy, sometimes.”

Astumu hmphs at your words, simultaneously agreeing and brushing you off. He doesn't care enough to bicker, right now. He doesn’t need to tell you about how the man from the bar was talking about you. About how easy you’d be to persuade into bed. About how you're just with Atsumu for his flashy perks and award winning smile. 

He doesn't need to because he knows they're wrong. Because they don't see these moments, when Atsumu sits on the ledge of your empty bathtub. With popped blood vessels and tender welts, those men don't melt beneath your careful fingertips or soothing pecks. 

He doesn't have to say anything, because you trust him. You trust Atsumu, and it's the one thing in this world he knows to be true. 

He lifts his head up from your hold to find your lips. 

“I jus’ love you,” he insists, lightly pressing himself to you with such caution, “so much.” 

And if there’s one thing in this world you know to be true, it's that Miya Atsumu loves you.   

[thoughtsandmusingsandideas]

I had a thought for a creator but they didn't believe they were the creator and could influence others into believing it too.

The two characters are Sara kujou and yae miko

@mastadon64 here you go!

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Godboss - Kujou Sara and Yae Miko

Kujou Sara

Cw: Sexual innuendos

-Honestly, waking up in Teyvat, you had a hard time convincing yourself you weren’t dreaming

-(It took you tumbling down a hill and slamming into a particularly sharp rock to realize it was not a dream. Also, ow)

-(You ignored the way your blood was golden. You were pretty sure you’d never seen the Genshin characters bleed anyways. It was probably just censoring. Totally.)

-Some way or another, you ended up in Inazuma

-Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as you were expecting

-Most of the creatures were pretty chill, and as long as you avoided the people, you didn’t get in much trouble

-And then you kicked a Tenryou commission officer in the face and got arrested

-You know, jail wasn’t as bad as you expected either!

-Your cellmates weren’t too bad either- one of them asked you if you were god, which was weird, because you didn’t look anything like the Shogun, but you gave him a stick of dango and he shut up

-(You might not have been a god, but the fact that you managed to keep your inventory from the game was the closest thing to a divine blessing that you could imagine. Who needs a gnosis when you have your own pocket dimension?)

-It’s about half an hour before you’re taken from your cell for questioning

-You walk into a small interrogation room, shock igniting in your chest as you spot Kujou Sara

-Wasn’t she important?

-Was kicking that guy in the face really such a grave offense?

-“Are you the Creator God?” She asks, deathly serious

-Why did people keep asking you this???

-You’re pretty sure you don’t look too godly, garbed in stolen clothes that you’re ninety percent sure you put on wrong, a fading bite mark on your arm from when you tried to pet a rifthound, leaves in your hair. Honestly, you looked pretty disheveled, and…

-“Is that your way of saying you think I’m hot? Like… godly or whatever?”

-Considering the way the Tengu’s face turns a vibrant red, you’re either very right, or very wrong

-It’d be funnier if you were right though, so you press on

-“I mean, not that I’m not into it, but I’m feeling kinda iffy about the power dynamic here- prisoner and cop is a cute trope and all, but not all that smart in real life, I mean I get it if it’s a kink or whatever, I know handcuffs are attractive, but as of right now it’s immoral-”

-“Shut up. Please.” Sara mumbled, covering her red face with her hand. Her hair has more volume than usual, tiny sparks of static dancing between the strands

-“… I mean after I get out of prison I’d totally be down to go on a date, and if you feed me well enough I might even let you handcuff me.” You add.

-The silence in the room is heavy

-“Get out.”

-“Yes ma’am. Hm. No. Yes Mommy? Yes Master-“

-You’re cut off by an electrically charged arrow striking the wall beside your head.

-“Out.”

-“Okay!”

-You’re released from prison three days later, now with a whole gaggle of new friends from criminals

-(You ignored the fact that some of them made really important sounding speeches swearing their fealty to you. Also the small shrine they were building in your honor. If you didn’t acknowledge it, it didn’t exist)

-You were surprised that as soon as you left, you were met with a glaring Kujou Sara, who takes your hand in her own

-“Am I being arrested again?”

-“… I’m going to take you on a date. And then I’m going to handcuff you.”

-“Yes Mommy!”

-“I Will Shoot You Again.”

Yae Miko

-You had to admit, stumbling upon a small shrine that seemed to be dedicated to your doppelgänger was creepy

-But you had also just been Isekaied to video game land, so you were pretty adaptable at the moment.

-Or high on adrenaline.

-You pick up one of the Sunsiettas from the shrine, biting down and relaxing, until-

-“Your excellency?!” A voice squeaks, and looking up you see a very frazzled shrine maiden staring at you.

-“Uh. No?” You say, swallowing the Sunsietta.

-The shrine maiden starts sobbing. “Your excellency!”

-“Oh- no- I’m- uh- I’m like you? You know? I’m uh… a messiah? Priest? Prophet? Whatever gets you to stop crying?” You awkwardly pat her head.

-“You- you’re the Creators chosen one?” She blubbers.

-“Uh. Yeah. Totally. Stop crying.”

-“CHOSEN ONE!” And she’s crying again

-After a lot of crying, you’re led to the Grand Narukami shrine, where you’re introduced to the head shrine maiden as the chosen one

-“… Are you sure she’s not just the creator?”

-“You flatter me. I’m just gods favoritist and most specialist little princess.”

-The Kitsune likes this. Perhaps too much, but we’ll let her have her fun

-And thus, the war to get you to admit that you’re the Creator begins, hidden under the guise of her introducing you to chosen one duties

-She takes you on a pilgrimage all across Inazuma first, going to the most dangerous places possible just to put you in danger and save you at the last second, disappointed that you never use godly powers to save (read: reveal) yourself

-She meditates with you, and paints obscure markings on your face when you fall asleep, which you have to pass off as messages from the creator

-She takes you to meet the Shogun, but after leaving you alone for five minutes, returns to you teaching her poker and robbing her blind. You cited divine luck and she pretended she didn’t notice the cards stuffed inside your sleeve

-It ends pretty anticlimactically, actually

-She’s introducing you to the local foxes, when you trip over a rock and face plant into the floor

-And get a nose bleed

-Miko can’t help but doubling over in laughter at the sight of your pout as golden blood drips down your face

-“And how are you explaining this one, Oh revered Chosen One?”

-“Genetic condition.”

-The laughter doubles

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Caught Up In You

————————————————————————-

Summary: You and the twins surprise Joe during his last hour at the soup kitchen.

Warnings: Fluff.

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Univserse: Into the Mystic

————————————————————————-

March 3rd, 2024

“Hey, y/n! Most of the photographers and workers are gone, but Joe surprisingly wanted to stay a little longer. Do you want to surprise him and come down with the twins?” - Robin

Robin had just called me. Joe had already been gone for a few hours, and I was just chilling at home.

“Oh, I’d love to! I'll be there in a few!” - you

“Great! I'll see you in a few sweetie!” - Robin

——

After I got the boys out of the car, I held onto both of their hands as we walked up to the building.

Shortly after our phone call, Robin messaged me and said to come in through the back door since it went straight into the kitchen where Joe would be.

“Dada!!” - Tyson

“You excited to see Dada?” - you smiled

Tyson’s love for his dad never failed to make my heart flutter. I was so lucky to have such an amazing man like Joe be the father to my kids.

“Can you knock on the door for me?” - you

Miles nodded his little head before using his free hand to hit the door with all his might, though it barely made a sound.

“Ty, how about you help him?” - you

Tyson’s knock was just slightly louder, so eventually, I knocked too.

When the door opened and Jimmy was revealed, the boys cheered, thinking their knocks were loud enough.

“What are you guys doing here?” - Jimmy

He smiled as he gave me a side hug, bending down to pick Miles up after.

“Dada!!” - Tyson

“Oh, I see! Let's go find Daddy.” - Jimmy

Jimmy grabbed Tyson’s hand and walked into the kitchen. I trailed behind after shutting the door back.

The place was pretty much empty, other than Robin talking to one of the older ladies who worked there.

“Look who's here! You look gorgeous as always, the pregnancy glow is on point.” - Robin smiled

“Awww, thank you! I threw a pair of baggy ripped jeans in that I knew still fit and took one of Joe’s shirts.” - you smiled

“Well, you look amazing. Joe’s in one of the other kitchens somewhere.” - Robin

Before I could even go find him, Joe strode into the room with Tyson on his hip and a big smile on his face.

“What are you doing here?” - Joe grinned

“Came to see you!” - you

Joe swiftly leaned down for a quick kiss, the smile never leaving his face.

“You look gorgeous.” - Joe

“That's what I said!” - Robin

Tyson laid his head on Joe’s shoulder, and Joe gently laid his head against his for a few seconds.

“Momma pretty.” - Tyson

“Your momma is very pretty.” - Joe

“Awww.” - Robin

I watched Joe subtly roll his eyes, and I smacked him on the arm in response.

“Ow!” - Joe

“Oh, toughen up!” - you laughed

Tyson started wiggling in Joe’s grasp, so he sat him down. Now that his arms were free, Joe moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist.

“How long have you two been together?”

The lady who had been talking to Robin had a smile on her face as she watched me and Joe.

“A little over nine years.” - Joe smiled

“We started dating in high school. I was a junior and Joe was a senior. We've been together ever since.” - you

“Wow! That's amazing! You guys seem so in love.”

“We are.” - Joe

There was a twinkle in his eye when I made eye contact with Joe, and he leaned down to peck my forehead.

“I didn't even know you were married, Mr. Burrow, let alone a father.”

“I keep my family private, but if you follow y/n on TikTok you can see more of my life outside of football.” - Joe

“Oh really? What kind of things do you post?”

“I prank Joe a lot, but I've done some day routines and other trends.” - you

“What kind of pranks?”

“Don’t even get her started.” - Joe chuckled while rolling his eyes

I was about to make a snarky comment in response to his sassiness, but before I could, Miles and Tyson came running into the room.

They each had mini aprons on that matched Joe’s, and Miles handed me one for myself.

“Thanks, Bubba.” - you smile

“Here, lemme help you, Mama.” - Joe

Joe took that apron from my hand and put it over my head, he went behind me and tied the strings around my waist. With a big hand pressed to the small of my back, Joe leaned forward to see my face as he asked a question.

“Not too tight is it? Around your belly?” - Joe

“It's perfect, thank you, baby.” - you

“Of course.” - Joe

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my neck, I felt my cheeks heat up so I promptly shoved Joe’s chest.

“Stop that.” - you whispered

“You know you love it.” - Joe smiled

“At home, I love it, not right now.” - you

“Keep that same opinion for when we get home later.” - Joe

I once again shoved his chest, but Jos only pulled me against him.

This boy will surely be the death of me.

——

I don't know how it happened, but currently, Joe was trying to tie Tyson up in his apron.

Joe had the strings around his waist tied as tight as he could get them, and sat Tyson against his chest to where his legs stuck out at either side.

“Baby, help!” - Joe laughed

“What do you want me to do?!” - you chuckled

“Tie the strings around my neck, please!” - Joe

I did as he said and laughed at the sight of Ty strapped to Joe’s chest like a kangaroo.

“This is pretty sturdy.” - Joe

He did various things to test it out, like squatting, doing a jumping jack, and doing random things that had Tyson giggling the entire time.

His laugh only made everyone else laugh, including Joe, who seemed to be having more fun than Tyson.

“Okay, that's enough, Joe. You're making me nervous.” - you

Joe halted his movements and nodded his head, doing just as I said because I had him wrapped around my finger.

I helped Tyson get down, but he wouldn't leave Joe’s side. That big, calloused hand coming down to rub over his little back.

Not that Tyson or Miles were super tiny. They were both in the 90th percentile for height at their age, which is, I guess, what you sign up for when you have babies with a man who’s 6’4.

“Miles’s turn!” - Joe

“No!!” - Miles

Miles went to hide behind my legs, which made everyone laugh. I reached down to play with his hair to comfort him.

“Daddy’s joking, bubs.” - you laughed

“No, he's not!” - Joe

Joe lept forward and scooped Miles up, who was screeching those little toddler noises, and threw him up in the air before catching him.

Miles started giggling when Joe threw him up again, blowing raspberries in his neck before bringing him close to his chest. He was the less adventurous twin, but he always had fun with Joe nonetheless.

“Do you guys have plans tomorrow?” - Robin

“I don't think so.” - you

Joe shook his head, no, so Robin continued.

“How about we take the boys tonight, you guys can come over tomorrow and then take them home tomorrow evening.” - Robin

I looked over at Joe, who was already looking at me, and we both shrugged.

“Fine with me.” - Joe

“Me too.” - you

Shortly after that, Joe helped switch the car seats into his parent's car. He was saying bye when he looked over and saw me about to open my door.

“Bye guy- WAIT!” - Joe

In the corner of my eye, I saw Joe jogging toward me so I stopped what I was doing.

“What? Something wrong?” - you

“I have to open your door. When I gave you that promise ring I promised you that as long as I'm with you, you won't have to open a door.” - Joe

“Joe. I can open my door. Perfectly capable of doing it for myself, you could've continued talking to your parents.” - you

“Nope.” - Joe

With that, he walked away and over to the driver's side of the car. I slid in and buckled up just as he was sitting down.

“I can't believe you drove here.” - Joe sighed

“I can drive, Joe!” - you

“You make me nervous driving while you're pregnant!” - Joe

“Babe, you need to calm down. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't do anything for myself. We had this conversation many times when I was pregnant with the twins, so you should know this by now.” - you

“I know… I just feel like I have to. You're the one who has to go through the symptoms of pregnancy, weight gain, sickness, and childbirth. I just feel bad that I can’t do anything to contribute.” - Joe

Joe slumped over and stared out the windshield, picking at his fingernails in the process.

I reached one of my hands over and separated his hands in an attempt to stop his nervous fidgeting. The action caused Joe to look up at me.

“You do plenty. I wouldn't be able to get through everything you listed without you. The weight gain, you're always there to hype me up when I'm feeling self-conscious. The sickness, I haven't had much of it, but you're always there to hold my hair and rub my back. The birth part, though I know you were just as nervous as me, you were my biggest cheerleader. I'm not going through any of this alone, Joe, we're a team.” - you

“You should be a motivational speaker… or the person that writes Hallmark cards.” - Joe smiled

“Give me a kiss, goofball.” - you chuckled

Joe leaned forward and gave me a very thorough kiss, his hand cupping my face as one of mine rubbed his chest.

“I love you in that apron, by the way.” - you mumbled against his slick lips

“Noted.” - Joe groaned before reconnecting your lips

————————————————————————-

Authors note: HI GUYS!!!! BACK FROM MY BREAK!!!

This came from my own head!

Hope you enjoyed! 💕💕

[princessbrunette]

love ur blog SO much could scroll thru it for hours and hours <3

for jj (if you want!): dealer!jj and reader who has a crush on him comes to buy weed for the first time? in my head she smokes by herself, gets super high & then panics and comes back to jj’s and confesses LOL bc that would be some shit I would do!!!

thank u so much !! and yes,, i love this idea hehe ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ‹𝟹

⊹ . ⁺ 🐰🎀⋅˚₊𐙚

the first half of your weed purchasing experience went fairly smoothly, well — as smoothly as it can for someone who has no idea what they’re talking about.

you’d shown up just a little after 4 in the prettiest skirt and your lashes extra long, coated in black. you couldn’t believe you’d worked up the courage to wind up buying weed from the guy you’d had a crush on since you were little (who seemed too chaotic to ever pay attention to little old you!) but it was soon you were stood in his house, having him talk you through each strain — and you had to try extra hard to focus because he looked so good and his hands were so big and —

“i’mma take a shot in the dark and say you’re fairly new to this right? in that case i’d prooobably suggest this, s’on the milder side, just chills you out a bunch.” he slides a packet towards you, eyes flickering up to you to catch you already looking at him.

“how’d you know i’m new to this?” you start digging in your purse for the wad of cash you brought to avoid looking at him.

“oh jus’ vibes.” he shrugs, smiling when you look back up at him, cash in hand. “its cute though, i dig it anyway.” he takes the notes from you and you swallow a love confession. “want me to roll it for you?”

he rolls the joints for you, and you try not to stare like a creep before you’re out the door in no time, breathing in the balmy late afternoon air and riding off on your bike to your empty house, family away for the weekend, to smoke your maybank special.

the second half of your experience, not so smooth.

you chaotically steer your little bike with a basket up to his house not even two hours later, paranoid and practically crashing the vehicle onto the grass as you hop off it, hands shaking at your side. jj, embarrassingly is already on the porch, stroking a stray cat with a cigarette in his mouth.

when he spots you frantically moving towards him he stands slowly, tossing the end of his cigarette aside. “ohhhh boy.” he speaks to himself like he knew what was coming.

“hey, hi, uhm.” you pant, violently struggling for breath as you clench and unclench your hands at your sides.

“you good?” he frowns, stepping towards you.

“i just— i’m so sorry to bother you but i — i smoked it alone for my first time and i don’t think i did it right or maybe it’s just reacting with me super bad and now i’m shaking and i feel really weird and i didn’t know who to go to — i— i just was wondering if there was a way to become un-high, cos i — i didn’t really wanna do it in the first place i just came to buy weed from you because i have this ridiculously huge crush on you and i thought hey what the hell—”

“heeeey, hey. breathe, okay? deep breath in girlie, look at me, right here.” he places his hands on your shoulders, face right infront of yours and for a moment you’re stunned. not only because you said all of that out loud, but because his hands were on you. “thats right, now breathe out.” he puffs his cheeks out, blowing out himself like he was encouraging a baby and you copy him, wide glassy eyes fixated on him like he was your life line.

“sorry.” you whisper and he smiles, adorable dimples indenting his cheeks.

“for what? come in, you look like you need some water.” he guides you inside his house, closing the door behind you as you try your best to stay calm. your brain felt slow and fast at the same time and all your nerve endings felt alight, constantly on the verge of a panic attack. “here, sit down— yeah? mi casa es su casa, or whatever. i never took french.” he ushers you to the couch, clumsily tripping over an empty beer can before kicking it aside and skidding off to the kitchen, returning with a glass of water.

“you ride your bike here?” he realises, sitting beside you as he hands you your drink.

“y—yeah.” you release a shaky exhale, bringing the glass to your lips.

“drink that nice n’slow, atta girl. see? you’re alright!” he makes an effort to keep his voice gentle, looking like he was going to reach out to put a hand on your arm but decided against it. you put the glass aside, palm coming to rub uncomfortably over the skin on your chest where your heart was. “heart feel a little fast?”

“mhm.” you mewl pathetically, mortified. you must have fumbled it, there was nothing sexy about winding up on your crushes couch having a panic attack.

“thats pretty normal, yeah. just gotta breathe n’shit.” he nods, resting his elbows on his knees as he watches you. “it’ll feel better when you just let it do what it needs to do, trust me.”

you try and follow his advice, sitting quietly for a few minutes as you lean back and relax into his couch, taking deep breaths and letting the high run its natural course. after a little while, you feel a giggle bubble up.

“uh-oh, there she is.” you hear the smile in his voice and he’s already looking at you.

“i totally freaked, m’sorry.” you’re all blissed out now, finally relaxed.

“oh you’re good— uh, yeah. what even happened? like—how much did you smoke?”

“the whole joint.” you shrug, snickering again.

“yeah that… probably was a lot for your first time, huh?” he grins, shaking his head. “if i knew you were this clueless about this shit, no offence, i would have offered to smoke with you, ‘ya know? be your guide. your ganja guru, if you will.”

“maybe you can teach me the right way to do it next time?” you try, feeling braver under the influence. his eyes flutter with something unrecognisable in your state and he nods.

“y—yeah. yeah for sure. totally.”

“unless i kinda ruined the vibes with that whole embarrassing confession outside.” you groan, lifting a hand to smush against your warm cheek. his eyes widen and he shakes his head.

“no! no, it was cute… i had no idea man, i would’ve closed. you crushing on me? c’mon man i’d be all over that.” he chuckles awkwardly, watching your face melt into the softest and sweetest smile he’d ever seen.

“really? you mean that?”

“hey, it’s not everyday i got a pretty girl on my couch needing me to save her, okay— this is big for me.” he teases.

you spend the rest of the evening riding out your high, before sleepily riding out your dealer beneath the glow of the television. he’ll consider it payment.

⊹ . ⁺ 🐰🎀⋅˚₊𐙚

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for setting a boundary on a Minecraft server that I didn’t want to interact with one of the admins after he quit my partner’s dnd campaign?

I (20, nonbinary) was on a lgbtq+ discord and had become friends with a trans guy (henceforth referred to as A) who was a minor. This was easy to forget as he made raunchy jokes, got drunk and high on call, and I have horrible memory issues (so I often opt to just remember people’s names and topics I should avoid around them via making little notes.)

We would very often end up in a vc together with others from the server, including our respective partners, chilling, playing games, sharing fun things we found. (His partner will henceforth be referred to as B, and mine as C) (I had known his partner before from another server and was happy to see them getting along then eventually getting together)

(C especially would always give advice like “if you’re drinking, make sure to eat/get some carbs, drinking on an empty stomach is bad!” Because they love researching medical effects to make their writing and worldbuilding feel more realistic)

There were a handful of incidents where I believe I was the asshole

I loved showing off games and musicals to people, and this has the unfortunate effect of sometimes unintentionally saying words that anger people.

Incident 1) I was playing a game and mindlessly saying location names- and I got a dm- I pause to glance at it- and I got a message saying “hey remember [redacted] is A’s deadname and he’s uncomfortable that you keep saying it”. I pause, make a mental note of “but. It. Wasn’t directed at him?” Then continue playing, dodging saying the name for the rest of my time showing the game.

Incident 2) I was showing off a musical I like- and there’s a cute scene where a character suggests a name for another character, saying that they don’t need it anymore, and it just so happened to be A’s deadname again.

Incident 3) I was playing Sea of Thieves solo- and struggling. I’d been hit by lightning, and now was being attacked by a shark. A and B were making fun of the fact I had slipped into an accent out of sheer panic so I (enraged and not thinking at all) said “I’ll name the damn shark after you, fillet and gut it!” (A really likes sharks. I also like sharks but apparently not as much as him)

(I apologized for this on call later, saying that I was emotional and mad, and if I’d been thinking I wouldn’t have said that. I also apologized for the previous incident about the deadname)

A and B had also joined C’s dnd campaign alongside another one of our mutual friends, D (who did not leave the campaign, but that’s not important right now). I have reason to believe C told the others they couldn’t be either of the two classes I said my character thought they were, but I don’t know. Things went great (or so I thought) we got some plot trails (one connected to the race of my character, one being D’s character’s family) and everything seemed fine- A was flirting with a lot of the enemies and NPCS (C found the character arts via google images and unfortunately ‘attractive’ seems to be a main character design commonality)

Then one day, I woke up to check the campaign discord because of a ping and noticed both A and B had left the server and there was no new messages- confused, I hopped into call with C- who explained that A had dropped a long list of accusations about Myself and C, essentially insulting us and accusing us of things like ‘sending NSFW things to kids’, ‘acting like the victim’, ‘naming a character A’s deadname’, ‘DM favouritism’, and a whole bunch of other things. I was- shocked.

(A also apparently messaged D and said something like “sorry for ending the campaign like that, if you want to use your character you can always write with me!” And got angry when D said they didn’t leave the campaign.)

(C is also a generally sex-repulsed Asexual. They were forcing themself to become more comfortable with it because of A’s raunchy jokes)

This was followed by some harassment from A and B.

A tried publicly calling out C on social media (which C had only used to make a single post sharing something they had made for someone’s art/design) for “sending nsfw things to minors” and on another platform for “being a fake ass bitch”, as well as both of them heckling a new haircut I’d been nervous but excited to try and get for years and just figured out how to ask for (responses such as “omg no ew why would you do that”), as well as A saying “no I don’t” a picture I shared of C and I going to see a musical together with the caption “you wish you were here!” (All were shared and reacted to publicly on the discord server)

(To be fair about the haircut- the stylist had cut part of it a little too short and it made my face look especially chubby)

This is where I start to feel less like the asshole

So I went on the discord for the Minecraft server and said “hey, I don’t feel comfortable interacting with A after the allegations they’ve been making”. A immediately got defensive and angry about me saying “allegations” and kicked me from the discord before I could defend myself (and C).

I explained the situation to the admin of the server we’d met on, who also owned the Minecraft server, and apologized to them that they had to moderate. Both A and I lost our mod privileges on the discord, and I also found out A had been given multiple “cease and desist”s for… saying/sharing vulgar/nearly nsfw things on the discord before. And they did it again. The reason they were never banned or kicked was that the admin had made it in hopes that A would make friends.

Now. To a part that still horrifies me.

A legitimately found out C’s mom’s number, and called her to insist that C sent NSFW things to minors. (C suspects that they got it from a time C called the police out of genuine concern for A who hadn’t responded to any messages in around a day)

C also told me that the most they had sent A was like. Attractive anime guys from the first page of google images because C really liked big anime man chests. A apparently sent C full on p*rn once.

The problem is- I feel like I was the asshole- even though most of the “incidents” were accidents because I try to not remember someone’s deadname because- it’s? Not their name anymore? And it didn’t help that I genuinely do not remember being told it was their deadname until after incident 1.

Was I the Asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[f10werfae]

Bedazzled and Bewildered

pairing: Husband!Chris Evans x Shy!Reader

Summary: Y/n is supposed to be celebrating one of her major stepping stones but that seems to be far from her friends' intentions. Thankfully Chris always knows what to do

- Requests are open!

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Chris Evans Masterlist💫

Full Masterlist⭐️

Taglist Form✨

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Y/n's P.O.V)

“o-oh yeah that’s totally okay, I get it” I said quietly watching my friends get into a limo after our night out. Sure I wasn’t the type to come out of my comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mind being left out of social events. Tonight we were celebrating my engagement to Chris, something Stephanie herself had planned actually. Only to find out there wasn’t enough room in the limo for all 8 of us..

“Oh Y/n you don’t mind right, it’s just all of us haven’t hung out together in a while” Grace smiled linking onto the other girls while they faced me on the pavement, the limo waiting in the background.

“But I thought-“ I said feeling my cheeks start to heat up, the alcohol clearly taking its effect strongly

“Well we know it’s not your thing so we thought it’d be chill if you just went on home? I mean that’s okay right? The hotel room only has beds enough for us, plus you’re a home body anyway”

So now i’m stood at the front of a random club in a part of town i’ve never been to before, and Chris is out with his buddies tonight. Starting to feel a bit scared I (as a reflex) felt myself start to shake a little bit and wobble, however finding the courage to hail down a yellow cab and heading straight home.

I got through the front door, yeah my social battery was basically dead, but I would’ve loved to spend some time with my friends tonight. Dodger instantly ran towards me, his wet snout sniffing all over as he licked my hands and face, at least someone was in a good mood tonight

Giving him his usual fill of cuddles I walked up to our bedroom, changing into my favourite pair of fluffy baby blue pyjamas. With my makeup now off and my hair combed back into a bun, I padded on downstairs and settled onto the couch.

With Disney plus now playing the original Peter Pan movie, I felt warm tears slide down my cheeks, not even wanting to check my phone when it said there were videos sent into our group chat. Cuddling into Dodger, I slowly felt myself calm down; the movie giving me a sense of homely comfort. Trying to ignore the throbbing dizzying pain in my head, I shoved my face more into the soft couch pillow.

Even back in high school I never meant to be the butt of their jokes, i’d rather stay quiet than make them uncomfortable, so I guess that’s where I need to improve

(Chris' P.O.V)

“Alright guys I think imma head home, I wanna be there when my girl gets home tomorrow, hopefully not too drunk” I said waving off to the guys as I left the house where we were getting together to watch the game. My heart swelling with pride with the fact I had someone to get home to, that didn’t have fur of course.

God I can’t wait for Y/n to get home, heck I was proud of her for going out tonight. Recently she had been struggling a lot with social anxiety with the paps constantly on our case cause of the engagement. Still smelling her sweet vanilla scent on me I drove up the driveway, expecting the house to be empty.

“Did I leave a light on or somethin?” I whispered to myself getting out of my car and opening the door warily. A soft smile finding its way onto my face when I wandered in to see Dodger and Y/n snuggling on the sofa with a Disney movie on in the back.

“What are you doin back so soon baby?” I asked coming to stand in front of her, her big doe eyes peering up at me with a frown on her red flushed face. That’s when I knew something was wrong.

(Y/n's P.O.V)

“I-I don’t know what I did wrong” My throat closing up as I felt sobs threaten to break out from me. Chris pursing his lips and bending down to pick me up, his hands wrapping around me as I hung onto him like a koala.

“Let’s get you more comfy sweet girl and then we can talk yeah?”

Nodding my head, he carried me into our bedroom, peeling back our soft cotton covers and setting me in. Getting changed himself into his own sweatpants,

“Ya still can’t be getting shy like this bunny” He smirked watching me cover my face under the blanket once he got nude, before pulling up his sweatpants.

“Cant help it, you’re too handsome” I muttered feeling him slip into bed beside me, he gently pulled down the sheets covering my face.

“Ya wanna talk about what happened today bun?” He said pulling me to lay my head on his chest as he sat against the headboard, his hands playing and ruffling my hair as I talked away.

“Well you know how the girls and I went out to a bar tonight right?”

“Mhm” He hummed pulling back the hair strands that usually frame my face

“W-well we were supposed to stay the night at a hotel”

“Yeah ya told me that bun” He said pressing a kiss on my forehead, my fingers playing with the strings of his sweatpants.

“So once we got out of the bar, they told me that the limo didn’t have enough room and neither did the hotel room. S-so they jus told me to go home” I sniffed, feeling Chris tense up behind me, his hands stopping in my hair.

“Hold on, so how did you get home? You’ve never been to that side of town before”

“I took a cab” I muttered out already knowing what his reaction was going to be like.

“Baby you know that’s not safe. We don’t know who the paps are, you shoulda called me. Especially when you’re drunk” He sighed out tapping me to sit up and look at him. His lips tightly held together with a sad look on his face

“I know but I didn’t wanna disturb you and I just wanted to get home quickly” I leaned onto him, his arms rubbing my arms softly

“I know bun, but next time you call me alright? N' fuck those friends of yours, excuse the language but what assholes. I don’t want you to hang out with people who put you in these dangerous positions”

“I know, i’ve been thinkin about that a lot recently, i’m sorry for all this Chrissy”

“Hey no need to apologise none of this is your fault, they don’t deserve your precious self. I know Scar and Liz have been asking to go out shopping with you, would you be up for that?”

“Oh yes please” I said feeling myself start to feel better now, tracing my hands over Chris' tattoos before feeling him reach over into the bedside drawer and pull something out.

“Knock yourself out baby” Setting down the body markers, he smiled down at me and kissed my softly knowing exactly what I needed to fully relax. Turning on the T.V for some background noise, he started tracing shapes into my back, watching as I coloured in his tattoos on his chest.

“I love you Chris, I can’t wait to marry you” I whispered

“I love you more Y/n, in my head i’ve already married you baby”

“Ya wanna come out and visit Ma with me tomorrow” His nose nuzzling against my cheek while I worked on the tattoos further up,

“Mhm, I still have to give her the blanket she wanted me to knit”

“I’m still jealous you’ve never knitted me anything”

“Well I mean- It’s”

“YOU HAVE KNITTED ME SOMETHING HAVENT YOU” He shouted catching me red handed, his lips pulled into the smile I fell in love with all those years ago in college.

“B-but it’s not that good” I said pouting sitting up, his fingers tugging on my chin to bring me in for a kiss,

“Come on bub, let me see it” He frowned, placing various pecks all over my face, a smile forcing its way on me. Standing up I walked to my side of the closet, pulling out a soft blue phone pouch

“I heard you complainin about your new phone being too heavy to hold in your hands, So I thought-“

“Baby doll, why didn’t you give me this sooner” I felt Chris take the small pouch out of my hand and set his phone into it, slinging it over his shoulder, a goofy smile on his face.

“Cause it looks stupid” I frowned watching him look at himself posing in the mirror,

“No it doesn’t. Jeez whatd I do to deserve a fine woman like you, always takin care of me” He cooed taking it off and settling us back into bed, a soft smile on my face as I felt him caress the fluff on my pyjamas.

The upset feeling in my stomach started to boil up, my face contorting out of queasiness.

“Oh no” I whispered bolting out of the bed and throwing myself onto the cold bathroom tiles, hunching over and emptying my stomach into the bowl

“Baby” I heard Chris say walking over and hunching down beside me, holding my hair behind my head as he ripped off a bit of tissue and dabbed at the side of my face.

“I’m so sorry Chris, i’m a mess”

“It’s okay baby doll, come up here and let me see ya” Chris had lifted me up and cupped my face, placing a kiss on my forehead before helping me brush my teeth. His arms supporting my now weak and tired body, enveloping me in warmth as we approached the bed once again.

(Chris' P.O.V)

“It’s alright bun, i’ll be here when you wake up” I said softly looking down at the bundle of love laying her head on my chest. Her scented shampoo filling my nostrils, her breaths evening out as her chest rose and fell. My hand combing through her hair, I don’t think I could be any more in love than I am with her.

She’s too good for this world.

———

Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @pandaxnienke @patzammit @seren-a-ity @thereisa8ella @mrspeacem1nusone @evanstanwhore @itsaylayay1213 @kimhtoo17 @chrisevansdaughter @vrittivsanghavi @dumb-fawkin-bitch @tojisbabymommy @bxdbxtxh15 @madebylilly

[sleepingdeath-light]

being best friends hcs ; wally

requested by ; 🐝🍯 anon (09/05/23) [3/3]

fandom(s) ; welcome home

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; wally darling

outline ; “My welcome home obsession is creeping in too 😂 can I have some best friend headcanons of Barbaby, Wally, and Frank? They’re my blorbos. ❤️ if you can’t do all three I’d like just Barnaby! He’s so SILLY!! And I wanna be his best friend ✨

Also I claim bee anon!! 🐝🍯”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

wally is a very enigmatic individual, at least as far as your neighbours go, and that peculiarity extends to your friendship

he always seems to pop up whenever you’re feeling low, even if you haven’t spoken a word of it to anyone

this can be when you’re just outside, when you’re stopping by a neighbour’s house, or even when you’re at home — he’ll be at the door ready with a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on

well you’ll likely have to crouch as the poor thing is only 12 apples high

he is occasionally willing to share his apples with you, but this mostly happens when he’s gifted something with apples in it that isn’t an apple itself

you’re the only one who he lets see him eat in his preferred way — which is freaky at first but you quickly get used to it

he paints and sketches you a lot, oftentimes absentmindedly, and he’ll gift his best works to you which is incredibly flattering as he’s definitely good at what he does

he’s incredibly chilled out and won’t complain if you randomly decide to just pick him up and move him elsewhere, he just kinda goes limp and accepts his fate

like — ‘… and then howdy told me he was out of apples — can you believe that? honestly, neighbour, i -’ *gets picked up* ‘-okay, anyway as i was saying…’

speaking of, whenever wally raids his store of its apple supply, howdy usually checks with you first to see where the little thief has run off to (and if you’re harbouring a criminal)

home also loves you to bits and you guys have to have regular sleepovers or they’ll get a bit moody and short with poor wally

he lets you style his hair but he never really wears those styles out of the house, he has a distinct look and he prefers to keep it that way

even if he does look pretty good with his hair plaited like that…

loves loves loves handmade friendship tokens and would be the type to craft some sort of bracelet or necklace with you that’s the sort of ‘two halves of a whole’ aesthetic

(rainbow, of course)

mainly calls you neighbour but will refer to you by name when talking to others (e.g. ‘my friend (name), and i…’)

if you wear makeup he’ll be happy to help and despite not wearing any himself he’s actually really good at it

he also has an excellent recall and has dedicated all important dates to memory — as well as making notes upon notes of things you’ve mentioned liking/wanting throughout the year

but he does pretend to be more forgetful than he is

[alohajun]

♡ GRADUATION CONFESSION — KIM DOYOUNG

doyoung x reader | wc : 1.3k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, use of petnames (princess), academic rivals to lovers, high school au, mentions of (non alcoholic) drinks, fluff, mentions of kissing | request : can i request academic rivals to lovers for doyoung but doyoung has secretly always had a crush on them and confesses the day before graduation?? thank u so much 🫶

"you have got to be kidding me. this is ridiculous."

you muttered to yourself, frowning at the rearrangement of desks in your classroom.

not thinking much of it, you searched for your name tag and took your seat. the tables were in pairs, and you couldn’t really be bothered by who your seatmate could be.

whoever it was, they’d probably distract you, and you couldn’t afford that. especially when you were graduating in a couple of months.

you needed to do your best to get good grades, and distractions were a no-no.

just as you settled into your seat, a bunch of love-struck sighs grabbed your attention. you didn’t even have to look to see who it was.

kim doyoung walked into the class, instantly getting everyone’s attention. his good looks were always the talk of the town, and it didn’t help that he was absolutely great at everything he did, either.

academics, extracurriculars; you name it, he’s an ace at it.

as you were about to go back to reading your notes, your gaze met his, sending a chill down your spine with the way he looked at you.

you looked at the desk on your side, quickly scanning the table to read the name sticker on it.

"kim doyoung," you muttered under your breath. "as i live and breathe."

you never knew exactly why you came to hate him so much. you weren’t losing to him or anything. in fact, you always came first. but the fact that he was always competing with you in everything just pissed you off till the ends of the earth.

"y/n." doyoung gave his signature smile. "lovely to see you, as always."

ugh, there was the thing you hated the most about him.

doyoung was never rude to you — even when he teased you, he had that stupid smile on his face, which made your heart skip a beat.

"i’d say the same thing," you muttered, sighing as you looked at your books. "but then i’d be lying."

doyoung chuckled. "we are gonna graduate soon, princess." he leaned his face against his hand, his gaze locked on you. "i suppose you can be a tad bit nicer to me?" he asked.

you looked at him, ignoring the way his nickname for you made you feel. "i suppose i can…" you pretended to contemplate. "but i can’t, so i won’t."

"ah … the next couple of months are gonna be great."

much to your dismay, you spent more time with kim doyoung than you’d like; be it for class projects or sports teams. wherever you went, doyoung was right behind you … or in front of you, or even beside you.

he was everywhere.

you, along with some others, were currently waiting for doyoung to arrive at the auditorium. everyone was assigned to groups for a drama club project, and oh-so-surprisingly, your academic rival was also in the same group.

just as you were about to call him, the door to the auditorium opened with a crash, revealing the brunet. "sorry, i’m late, guys! picked up a little something for y’all!" he exclaimed, running towards you with bags in his hands.

you simply took a deep breath, not wanting to waste any words to express your annoyance. "okay, let’s get started," you announced, pulling out the clipboard with all the ideas your teammates had.

"we are doing hamlet, right?" doyoung asked, mindlessly cracking open a drink bottle before handing it to you. "or have we changed plays?"

taeyoung raised his brows, the gesture seeming too natural for him. he looked at sunoo, wordlessly asking if they both saw the same thing.

you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ as you took the drink from doyoung, brows furrowed as you made eye-contact with the other boys who had smug smiles on their faces.

it’s nothing like that! you looked at sunoo, shaking your head. sure, whatever you say. he grinned, looking away as he giggled.

"anything wrong?" doyoung asked, oblivious to the looks being exchanged. "sunoo? taeyoung?"

"nope, all good."

"peachy keen."

you played with your pencil as you thought about what doyoung did — and why did it bring butterflies to your stomach?

"y/n?" you jumped a little at the sudden call, dropping the pencil in your hands. "penny for your thoughts?"

"uh, yeah. hamlet sounds fine." you nodded, seeing doyoung bend to grab your pencil. "i think it’ll make a better play compared to the variations of romeo and juliet the others are doing."

unconsciously caring for the brunet, you placed your hand on the corner of the table, not wanting doyoung to hit against it while lifting his head. you continued talking, holding back an eye-roll at the way your group mates were looking at you.

"i’m only doing this to prevent him from getting a concussion," you defended yourself. "we all need to be present to do this project." you frowned.

doyoung raised his brows at your sudden outburst, not knowing what you were talking. taeyoung nodded his head towards your hand, letting him know what the conversation was about.

"oh." doyoung grinned, handing your pencil back to you. "thanks for looking out, princess."

kim doyoung smiled in adoration as he looked at you from across the room, watching you pace around nervously.

it was quite obvious now; he thought. he had the biggest crush on you, yet you were unaware of how he felt about you.

you were their class president, absolutely smart, and the prettiest girl he had ever seen. he never knew he’d have a chance with you—seeing as you barely looked his way.

but it all changed the day he came second in class, scoring just a mark lower than you. doyoung would never forget the look you gave him; it was the look that confirmed his feelings for you.

heck, who knew a glare could make someone fall in love?

from that day on, he did his best to study hard and score just enough to keep you on the edge.

with a couple of exams, club events, and sports awards, doyoung went from being the silent admirer to being noticed by you. there was never a day you didn’t frown at him, and the little banters you two had always made his day.

and with your graduation ceremony starting within the next ten minutes, kim doyoung realized that he wasn’t ready to graduate without telling you what he really felt about you.

"doyoung." your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, nervously breathing as you looked at him. "i can’t do this. there are too many people out there."

the brunet frowned, holding your shaking hands to calm you down. "hey, princess. look at me." he met your eyes. "just take a deep breath. you’ll be fine, yeah? i know it," he assured.

"what if i mess up?"

"i’ll scream to create a distraction."

you nervously bit your lip. "what if i say the wrong things?" you asked, staring at doyoung for an answer.

"that’s not possible." doyoung chuckled, shaking his head. "you are always right."

you smiled gratefully, appreciating his words, and slightly less nervous than before. "thanks, doyoung," you muttered, unconsciously swinging your hands that he held.

"can i offer a distraction?" doyoung asked, tilting his head. "it could help, or it could worsen things."

"go for it." you nodded. "i’m down for any sort of distraction."

before you could comprehend what was happening, doyoung leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. it was a short yet sweet kiss, eliciting a shocked hum from you.

"i like you, y/n. heck, call it love even," doyoung stated, hands cupping around your face. "and i’m sorry i had to confess it like this, but i didn’t know what else to do."

you felt as if a thousand butterflies were released in your stomach. "i like you too, doyoung," you stated, getting a surprised look from him. "i guess a couple of months were enough to make me realise that." you smiled.

"ah, princess … you have no idea how long i wanted to hear those words from you."

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TREASURE MASTERLIST

© 2023 ALOHAJUN | PLEASE REFRAIN FROM COPYING OR REPOSTING MY WORK WITHIN OR OUTSIDE THIS SITE

[followthebluebell]

Can I ask you, as someone else who seems to be more of a cat guy, your experiences with Truffle? I’m considering a Spoo for my next dog and am trying to get a feel for whether or not one would work for me (and my cat guy spouse). I’m mostly wondering about energy levels because someone saying “moderate energy” or “high energy” doesn’t give me a whole of expectations as to how much and how intense exercise I’d be looking at to keep the dog satisfied which is important living in an apartment with a cat. I really like the trainability of the poodle and work in grooming so even if I didn’t want to do it myself, I have trusted people to do it for me so that’s no issue. I mainly want a companion I can take on hikes and to restaurants/brewpubs on the weekends who won’t eat my other pets. Just trying to gather as much perspective as possible before jumping in :)

Honestly I think spoos are the world's most perfect dog. I'm only a little biased in this absolute concrete fact. I'm not sure I could have any other breed of dog at this point.

I think Truffle is a medium energy dog. He's fairly active; we used to go on five mile hikes three days a week, but have since petered down to 1.5-2. On days we don't hike, we usually play fetch or flirt pole for like 30 minutes.

He also loves days where he does absolutely nothing, which really highlights my next point:

I don't think energy levels are as important in a dog as a good off switch is. Even if we've done absolutely nothing, Truffle won't tear up my house or try to eat my cats. I think a lot of this is just genetic, tbh. I looked specifically for breeders who titled their dogs for obedience and agility AND raised their dogs in their home because I wanted a dog that was smart, healthy, and had a good, solid basis for home living. A few dogs in Truffle's pedigree have hunting titles as well, but there's not really much of a delineation between hunting lines and show lines in poodles.

Mental exercise plays a much bigger role than physical exercise. We train daily for around 30-40 minutes--- I think that's a bigger requirement than just physical exercise. It's definitely something he's way more into and tends to tire him out more.

He's not a super cuddly dog. He likes to be BY me, but not ON me. This is great for me because I get touched-out easily, especially by a large dog. He's just unobtrusive, which was ideal for a service dog. He's not running around trying to be everyone's friend. He's just aloof towards strangers.

TBH the biggest issue I have with standard poodles is their tendency towards pickiness about food. Truffle's on a vet prescription diet due to stone formation and it can be a fucking pain to get him to eat sometimes. I've recently found a new hack (he really loves pumpkin) but I know in my heart that it's going to lose efficacy at some point and I'll have to try something new.

Like i said, I think he's the perfect dog for me. He's happy to go out on a hike and look for cool lizards, but he's equally happy to curl up on the couch and snooze as long as he also gets to do some trick training. He's very chill with the cats and treats strangers as a curiosity rather than a compulsion. He's a lovebug without being overly cuddly and needy.

[tinybirbwrites]

Losing Control (batfam/reader)

this was part of that one idea i talked about a while ago. it’s unfinished, but i thought i’d share it anyway. small warning for language and mild violence, also attempted sexual assault but it’s not very detailed and doesn’t get very far.

tried keeping reader genderneutral, not sure if i missed anything.

hope you enjoy reading!

____________

The first time it happened, I got angry during training. 

Sparring with anyone from the batfamily would rarely lead to a victorious outcome—they were too experienced, too talented, too ambitious. I didn't expect to win, but a tie would be nice. And yet, I always ended up on the ground, or trapped in someone's hold. I rarely landed a hit myself, and barely managed to dodge. 

It was frustrating, and more often than not, I found myself getting angry at the guys for never giving me a chance, but mostly at myself for being so weak.

But never had I blacked out like this before.

One moment I was on the ground, pressed down by Jason's weight, the next I was standing upright and staring down at him, his chest beneath my foot. He was frantically tapping my leg, and I realized that I was pressing down on his ribs hard enough to break them.

I immediately stumbled backwards and sat down, trying to recall what had happened, while Jason groaned and sat up. He didn't seem hurt, thankfully, just out of breath and surprised.

“Well,” he said, “that one was new.”

We didn't get to talk about what happened afterwards.

It was getting late and I was on my way home when it happened again. I remember being followed and touched by three tall guys, terrified to the point of being unable to move, to defend myself. 

Next thing I knew, all three men were on the ground, knocked out with broken noses, covered in strange bite marks and scratches. I called the police and went home, scared and confused.

_

The third time it happened, Damian was yelling at me because I had made a mistake. It was on patrol, and I usually stayed back so I wouldn't get in the way, but Dick had told me I should get involved more, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to learn anything new. But of course I had made a mistake, and Damian thought it necessary to burn it into my brain. 

I loved Damian, but I hated being yelled at. The anger came easily, and next time I opened my eyes, I was being held against the wall by Bruce himself. 

“Calm down,” he said. He was using the Batman Voice, sending chills down my spine and making me go limp immediately, scared of having made him angry, and scared of what I had done this time. Was Damian okay?

Luckily, Damian was unharmed, but he looked a bit pale and kept staring at me with wide eyes. 

I told Bruce about my blackouts that night, so he took me back to the cave to run some tests.

_

“The causes are high surges of adrenaline,” Bruce stated calmly, “In other words; anger, or strong fear.”

“So I'm the Hulk now?” I scoffed, but it just turned into an exhausted sigh. Bruce had taken some of my blood and insisted on doing the tests now instead of waiting until tomorrow. I was about ready to pass out.

“I want to see the effects up close in a safe environment. Only that way will I be able to tell what's happening to your body.” Bruce was already walking towards a platform with a big cell made out of see-through, bulletproof glass. 

“Can this wait until tomorrow? Please?” He stopped and looked back at me with a frown. “I know this is important, but I really need some sleep, and I don't even know if I can make it happen on command.”

He considered me for a long moment, making me squirm under his piercing gaze, before he finally nodded. “Go.”

_

“Damian?” I whispered, lightly knocking on his door. He had been sent away to bed early, leaving before I could apologize for what had happened. “Are you awake?”

The door unlocked, so I slowly opened it. Damian was already back on his bed, lying down with his back leaning against the headrest, arms crossed. He avoided my gaze, stubbornly staring at his feet instead.

I closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, unsure where I stood with him right now. Was he angry? Upset? Scared? 

“Damian,” I started cautiously, “I'm sorry. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Wasn't scared,” he mumbled. 

I couldn't help but smile. “Okay. But it's alright to be scared, you know that, right?”

He just gave a grunt. 

“You also know I love you, yes? And that I'd never want to hurt you?”

He pulled his legs closer to his chest, turning his head away more. I could see his embarrassed pout before he could hide it. 

“Damian?” I pushed gently. He let out a breath through his nose and mumbled something incoherent.

I slowly sat down on his bed near his feet. “What did you say? I didn't catch that.”

“I said,” he sighed, talking louder and more clearly, but still not looking at me, “that it's me who keeps hurting you. I knew that, but I didn't really see how much I hurt you until earlier today.”

He looked at me then, eyes full of shame, “I do not understand how you can still care about me.”

I was taken aback by his genuine words, as I was so used to his harsh shell. He rarely showed any softness or openness to anyone, aside maybe from Richard. I lifted a hand to gently cup his cheek, and he leaned into my touch like a cat.

“You're complicated to get along with, I'll give you that,” I said, “But I can see your heart, Damian. And I want to keep it safe. I know you don't always mean what you say, and no matter how much some things hurt, I will always care about you.”

He frowned, giving a thoughtful hum. “So you're just going to take the beating?”

I sighed. “Well, I don't want to, but what am I supposed to do? Yell at you? Besides, you don't always want me getting all emotional like right now. If I don't want to lose you, I'll just have to roll with the punches and deal with it and not take it personally.”

Damian gave a huff, then started shuffling around and pulling at my arm until I was lying down with him, letting him curl up in my arms and press his face against my collarbone.

“I will… try… to be less… harsh,” he muttered into my shirt. “I... don't want to lose you, either.”

_

“High adrenaline surge caused by anger is the initial trigger. It seems a part of their brain falls asleep, but the rest stays active, controlled by an unknown force that has yet to be understood. Physical changes are getting more apparent the longer they stay in that state. Increased length and sharpness of teeth, especially the canines. Aggressive behavior, borderline animalistic. No usage of vocabulary, only hissing, growling and snarling. The skin on both hands and arms starts turning dark black after one minute, and after three, the same happens to the eye whites, gums and tongue. It’s like tar slowly seeping out from every pore, covering what’s underneath.”

Bruce's notes were highly concerning, to say the least. He had kept a close eye on me the whole week, until, inevitably, I got angry during training yet again. He put me inside the cell and observed for twenty minutes, before getting me to calm down.

‘Getting me to calm down’ meant he sent Dick to make cooing noises at me until he got close enough to give me a hug. Miraculously, it worked wonders.

_

“You guys want me to listen to ASMR the whole day? So I won't get angry anymore? You do know that's not how it works, right?”

Bruce had invented a device that could comfortably be worn on my person, monitoring my vitals and sending a distress signal to the closest member of the batfamily in case my adrenaline got to critical levels again. Meanwhile, the boys had apparently unanimously agreed on a strategy on how to keep me calm, meaning they had put together a playlist with ASMR and calming ambience videos for me to listen to whenever I could feel my blood pressure starting to rise. 

It was really sweet, but whether it was actually going to work was a whole nother question entirely. 

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” Jason shrugged, then grimaced at his own words. “Fuck’s sake, I sound like Alfred.”

_

Dick and I were on an undercover mission. It was a small one, just for one night, in which we'd have to do our best to get some information out of Subject A, a thirty year old rich woman in a red dress and big red hat, and Subject B, the owner of a big company and the husband of Subject A. 

Both were insufferable, absolutely the worst. Dick was a natural at being charming and disarming, so he had no problems with talking to either subject, though I could tell by the way he would clench his jaw whenever he smiled that he was just as annoyed as I was.

Me, on the other hand, could not stand another minute in the same room as either of those two. So I told Dick I would be getting some fresh air.

And because I had the best luck in the world, some lonely rich guy followed me outside and kept talking to me, and kept creeping closer to me until he was fully in my personal bubble, completely unprompted. 

“Oh, you look cold,” he said, and because apparently he thought he had the right to touch me, wrapped an arm around my waist to press me closer to his side, “Maybe we should go back inside? Or maybe I could bring you home, hmm? You seem lonely, like me.”

Everything about this guy was creeping me out. He smelled so heavily of cologne that I wanted to gag, and he kept breathing into my face. 

“I would very much like to be alone, to be honest,” I pressed out between clenched teeth, already feeling the familiar pounding in my head. “I did not give you any permission to touch me like this, so please, kindly back off, sir—now.”

He was murmuring something about reading my body language and subtext and getting clear signals of sexual interest, but I could hardly even hear him anymore over the pounding in my ears, my vision already fading more and more into black, as my adrenaline started to rise. 

Then, suddenly, the man was being pulled away. Then I was being maneuvered to a more secluded part of the outside area, somewhere out of sight, and Dick was standing in front of me. He was holding me by the shoulders, gently squeezing and closely watching my eyes. 

He was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. I could feel my teeth sharpen, a growl rising from my throat, hands clenching and nails slowly growing into claws. 

I wanted to find that disgusting piece of shit and rip his eyes out. I wanted to cut off his prick and feed it to him until he would choke to death—

Then Dick was holding my face with both hands, leaning closer until our noses were almost touching. I could hear him now, gently shushing me like a parent would to calm their crying baby. His familiar scent surrounded me, filling my senses, calming me. I relaxed a little. My anger was not directed at Dick. I knew I was safe with him.

Then he let go of me to search his pockets, quickly pulling out his phone and putting his earbuds in my ears. A few seconds later, the sounds of rain droned out the rising violence in my mind, making the back of my head tingle and the hot anger boiling in my chest die down until my physical transformation went away as well.

I sagged against Dick's chest, feeling tired all of a sudden. I waited a little longer, relinquishing the feel of relief and calm washing over me, while Dick wrapped his arms around me to stroke one hand over my back, the other holding me closer to his chest by my neck. 

Eventually, I pulled the earbuds out and gave them back to him. I sighed, “I hate that I'm a ticking time bomb. You can't always be there to make sure I don't go off.”

“I don’t mind,” Dick said, helping me stand up. “That’s what family’s for, right? We got your back. With B’s device, there will always be someone there to help you out. If not, you can always call, no matter what time it is or where you are. If all else fails, you know what to do to help yourself.”

I let myself lean against him for a few moments longer, enjoying the comfort he brought, before straightening myself up with a sigh. “Thanks, Dick. I guess… let’s finish up here, huh?”

He grinned. “That’s the spirit!”

[mintymelty]

YHS: A Serialization [] 1. A Funny First Day

════ ⋆💙⋆ ════

Hi.

Today’s September 1st. A Tuesday, and the first actual day of school.

You may be asking why I look so emo.

To make a long story short, I slayed too hard at my first highschool, was bummed out too much at the second, and now I’m currently attending Yamada High on what accounts to academic probation. I even have my own cop in my dorm! Well she says her name is ‘Kim’ and that she’s my cousin but she’s basically a probation cop. And a snooty one at that.

💛: “Oh, you have to go to the REGULAR literature class? Well, good luck with the PLEBEIANS, I’ll be on my way to ADVANCED PLACEMENT-“ Go away, I don’t like you.

But whatever, there’s this “cool” guy chatting up a storm with some other student, and said student looks bored AF. For the last few minutes he’s been making the rounds across Mr. Draco’s classroom (which I have no idea how; with the way he acts, I thought Mr. Draco hated any form of conversation) to try and… IDK sell them a used car?

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

🌻: “So, you new here?” ‘Cool Guy’ whipped his head around to face me.

💙: “Yeah.” Duh?? Not to be rude, but no-one’s ever seen me here.

🌻: “Cool! Cool.. I like your jacket, you do sports?”

💙: “No, not yet. Never really had the chance to get into extra-curricular stuff.”

🌻: “Oh, really?”

💙: “Yeah… I mean I guess I have plenty of free time right now, huh?”

🌻: “If that’s the case, are you free this Friday?”

💙: “WOW, I don’t even know your name-“

🌻: “Wha?- I mean I’m in a band and we’re having a garage concert this Friday. My bad.”

💙: “Oh! What music are you playing?”

🌻“How do you feel about… indie rock? You seem like the kind of girl to be into that.”

💙: “I do? What about me gives of that vibe?”

🌻“I dunno, just your outfit? Like you’re kinda just all around chill.”

💙: “Okay then, what bands are you covering, or will the music be, y’know original?”

🌻“They’re kinda obscure.. have you heard of Nirvana?”

💙: “…Yeah.” BOI. MY DUDE. WHO HASN’T HEARD OF NIRVANA?“Well then sure, I don’t have anything else to do. Where’s the spot?”

🌻“Hm… 2033 Miller Avenue, City of Industry… I dunno somewhere in Traum County.”

💙: “Traum County..” I’ve heard of that place before.. oh yeah! I have- well, HAD an uncle there. I think he got shot.. “Ok, I’ll go. What time?”

🌻“About 7 P.M.”

💙: “So the Redstone link should get me there 30 minutes early-“

🌻”Redstone link?? Uhh if I were you I’d just ask someone for a ride.”

💙: “Wait- why?”

🌻“Traum’s metro’s are kinda shady.. but it’s like not that big of a deal, just don’t go near the Sky station.”

💙: “..Okay. I’ll see you there.”

◁◁ ► ▷▷

Huh. That was actually kinda nice, even though I didn’t get his name.. oh well. It’s too awkward to just ask him right now, considering the teacher finally got up from his desk.

✒️: “Now class, I HOPE you all have your outlines for your introductory essay done??”

Uh. About that…

👥: “Yes, Mr. Draco.”

✒️: “Good. Class dismissed. Go to period 2.”

Okay, so I’m alone on this. At my last school, practically nobody would’ve answered him like that, and some “class-clown” would instead cuss him out. But whatever, it’s a good thing people are nice here.

…Right?

════ ⋆💙⋆ ════

[ae-grimshaw]

So I moved to LA about 4 years ago, and everyone told me that celebrity sightings would be so common I’d get bored. Very much not true, I haven’t seen any celebrities at this point (in fairness I moved to a poor neighborhood and then the pandemic happened)

Except ONE! After the lockdowns lifted I went to a chill Easter party and met this wonderful painter and her husband. We hit it off right away, and all became pretty close friends. Her husband is an actor and writer, I’m a a writer raised by actors, so we had a lot in common. Awesome dude, I love him to death

He invites me and my partner over for Halloween last year, he also asks if it’s cool if he invited a friend we’d never met. I was of course totally fine with that. My partner and I arrive, start chatting and drinking and smoking. I’m sitting directly across from the front door. It swings open and fucking DUMBLEDORE WALKS IN

I’m high and tipsy and now feel like I’m losing my fucking mind. I was a huge Starkid fan growing up. I was so insanely annoying about it. Me and my best friend from high school refer to each other as Bright Knight and Morning Bird, that’s how cringey we were. And now fucking Dylan Saunders is pulling up a chair next to me and asking for a drink

But I also don’t want to be that weirdo fan who makes this dude uncomfortable so I pretend I don’t know who he is. We shake hands, I ask him what he does for a living (pretending that I don’t already know, ya know, like a liar). Meanwhile I’m texting my friend from high school losing my mind and she’s freaking out, and I’m trying to make meaningful eye contact with my partner because he knows nothing about Starkid but I HAVE to tell him

As I learn later, my friend, who is a solid decade older than me, went to the same college as the original Starkid cast. He’s friends with all of them. They asked him to audition for AVPM but he turned them down because it seemed silly. I don’t know what fates brought this guy into my life but it was such a surreal experience

Anyway, then Dylan asked us to watch Barbarian and I had nightmares for like a week lmao

[silverflqmes]

haithellie

- who fell first and how?

- what book sealed the deal on your relationship?

- did you guys join a book club together, if so — what was the book that caught both of your guys’ eye?

- what do the boys think about your guys’ relationship? (kaveh, cyno, & tighnari)

tartellie

- how did you guys meet and how long did it take for a single date?

- which of you said i love you first and how?

- e2l, which one admits they’re in love first and why?

yuellie

- he misses the high cloud quintet, how do you comfort him?

- you both fight phantylia together, who falls down first?

- bonus: who went for the body? i think i can answer this one

sephellie

- how to make a day of fun so sephiroth can be human again

- how would you style his hair for fun

- how to get him to stop being cloudobsessed and you-obsessed instead!!!

at long last i answered your ask bc monkey brain has just been SEPHIROTH SEPHIROTH SEPHIROTH as of late.. ahem. now without further delay, time to get the cogs winding

𓍼 haithellie.

— if i’m going with my e2l idea, he fell first because i was in hella denial.. but i fell harder. i haven’t really come up with much but i’m thinking we would both be in places in our lives where we’re dealing with loneliness?? for me i would have left home to study so i’d kinda be adjusting, while alhaitham has kinda been on his own, having lost his parents from young, and later his grandmother that took care of him after that. so i think we would have found mutual comfort in each other and he would have caught some feelings just from little details. stupid habits i have, shared interests, the bantering since we would have both been in the same darshan..

— i totally missed this question until i went back to read for the next ship but UHHH the wicked king cuz it’s my fav and i’ll never be normal about it

— we joined a book club not knowing that the other would be in there too LMAO it was just supposed to be a pastime kinda thing and it was just coincidence that we both ended up in it together.. but let me think, me being me i like my romantasy books so i dunno it alhaitham would also be into those.. but i could see him reading the folk of air — totally not bc it’s my favorite series, totally not bc we act like jude and cardan, totally not because — yeah, you got me..

— alhaitham wants them nowhere near me ( minus tighnari ) because they would enable me and they would tease him sm.. but i think we would be super chill together, i could see us playing uno or monopoly and just- disaster happening BAH but anyway i think they would be happy about alhaitham finding someone after his losses, and even it kaveh might be petty.. he’s happy for him<3

𓍼 tartellie.

— omg akira-san, i mean uh, tartaglia, yeah.. ahem. let me think.. we would have met at a flower shop, he was buying flowers to bring home to his family since he was likely away from home for a good while. he was just scanning all the different types, not sure which to pick, to which he would approach me, thinking me to be the store clerk ( i was not ). confused, i would break to him that i do not work there.. to which he would get embarrassed LMAO but since we were talking, he would ask on my opinion anyway, to which i’d try my best to offer a few options to my basic knowledge of flower language. i think he would show interest in the way i talk and explain, the hand gestures and expressions i make, but he’d ignore it.. until we stumbled once more upon each other, where he would chat with me.. and then proposes the idea of getting lunch. totally not a date, just lunch..

— he did and probably said so without even saying those three words tbh?? i don’t know how he would say it, but uh maybe smtn like.. “it’s strange.. home, until now was always being with my family back in snezhnaya.. but somehow, you seemed to have brought that feeling to me here and have blossomed it into something a little more than family, something special and precious to me.”

— now for this.. me LMAO if it was e2l it would end up as an unspoken confession i feel?? maybe if he was seriously injured or um, overdid things again because he used foul legacy or his delusion in a fight.. to which i would yell at him in a way that sounded like i really cared for him, and tartaglia would end up saying something along the lines of me sounding like i loved him or something.. to which i would go silent and he would piece it all together. unspoken confession!!

𓍼 yuellie.

— understandable as to why he would miss them, especially cuz he’s the last one remaining and with his memories in tact. it’s kinda heartbreaking honestly, but i understand the kinda fall of a friend group in a way, granted i still talk with mine but very minimally these days. regardless, i would do my best to comfort him, maybe take him out or encourage him to come be around others as well outside of his duties, just to feel yk welcomed as a dude and not just as a general. i think he’d like something like that cuz company helps when you miss those that you were once close with.

— AKWJSJDJSKSJ i fall down first and i make sure to KNEEL ( i did it on purpose ) yuan is probably like ellie???? and i’m like ain’t no way you said you’re going for the body — I’M GOING FOR THE BODY, YOU SIT YOUR ASS BACK THERE. atp he’s like, am i about to have my girl stolen by horrifyingly attractive woman that wants to kill us and is not just twice but several times her size?? he’s just watching in complete shock but like part of him understands.. i mean.. come on.

— I WENT FOR THE BODY AGAIN AND AGAIN ahem, your assumptions are likely correct.

𓍼 sephiellie.

— screams in sephiroth. okay um. let me actually get into this. sooo a day to make sephi have fun and feel more human.. well! after buying flowers from a certain peddler, i would whip out my super slay cool flip phone and urge him to come over after work because i had a surprise for him. said surprise is flowers to braid into his hair and a flower for him to keep at home cuz sephiroth having a green thumb sounds so adorable. for the rest, it would be just a cute self care day to remind him of his humanity in spite of whatever modifications and experiments were done on him ( FUCK YOU HOJO YOU UGLY ASS PIECE OF SHIT, THERE’S A REASON I’M NOT IN FFVII AND THAT’S BC YOUR ASS WOULD BE THROUGH, WHICH MEANS THE STORY DOESN’T END UP HAPPENING SO NO GAME )

— the braid with the flowers in it! high ponytail for sure HE IS SO PRETTY<3 maybe a bun as well after i told him that mine absolutely sucked and that my mom refused to let me out of the house without her doing my hair.. so he would ask to see how bad said bun is — so it ends up messy because i didn’t wanna make it too tight.. his hair is also super long.. but he liked it, probably wondered why i couldn’t leave the house when it looked so nice on him ( sobbing he’s so so sweet ), furthermore i would try the princess leia space buns and perhaps twin tails<3 he also would do my hair and try out different styles too, he’s so gentle<3

— I DON’T KNOW I GUESS I NEED SOME MAKO BATHS AND HIS CELLS SO HE CAN INVADE MY THOUGHTS INSTEAD😐 but like.. sefikura.. IM TORN

okay i believe that was all of them.. this took way longer than i’d expected😭

[tmnt-tychou]

Here’s part two of the “Trick or Kink” writing challenge, which definitely chose “Trick” this year. It looks like we’re going for spooky with a hint of tmnt x reader romance. Big thank you in advance to everyone who reads.

Part One can be found here.

“Mikey!” Name quickly ran after him, grabbing into his arm. “Don't leave me behind.”

He grinned at having her cling to him. “Hey, Babes. You know I'd never leave ya. Come on.”

As he walked, her hand fell easily into his. It was always the place her hand wanted to be. He had walked her home many a time through dark sewer tunnels, her hand encased warmly in his. It was second nature now, though hand-holding was about as far as the relationship went.

Sure, there was absolute shameless flirting all the time, but nothing talked about seriously. Michelangelo wasn't exactly a serious turtle. He let things be what they were and Name was okay with that. As long as her hand could continue to slide so easily into his, she was okay.

Michelangelo led the way, flashlight sweeping the fog as he zeroed in on what first caught his attention. A great monolith of a headstone shot out high among the others. At the top was what Name originally thought must have been a cherub or an angel, but a closer inspection showed the head of whatever had been there was missing. Only a stout body and battered, chipped wings were what remained of the sculpture. The wings may not have even been angel wings. She wasn't sure.

“Creepy,” Michelangelo said as his light fell on the headless form.

“This place is really old,” she replied. “So many of these headstones are in terrible shape. I don't think anyone has attempted to care for this place in decades. It's kind of sad. All these people have been long forgotten. Who knows where their decedents are. No one left to remember them.”

“Better left forgotten,” Michelangelo said from the other side of the pillar.

“Mikey, that's an awful thing to say.” And very out of character for him. What was up with that?

“No, Babes, that's what it says here.”

Name walked around to see what he was looking at. His flashlight was trained on the dirty headstone, vague letters hiding behind the dirt and moss.  Michelangelo reached up and wiped away as much as he could with the side of his fist. Even then, they both had to get in close to decipher the words as Name read them out loud.

May the body keep.  May the soul sleep. To not be named. Better left forgotten.

A chill went up her spine as she read the epitaph. What did that mean? There was no name, no dates of birth or death. Was this even for an actual person? She looked to Michelangelo for a second opinion to find him shaking his head at the text.

“Nuh huh. No, no, no. I don't like that at all. That's some bad juju.” He grabbed for her hand. “Come on Babes, we're out of this place. Let's go find the guys and bail.”

Normally, she would have disagreed. The whole point of coming all the way out here was to sit in a spooky cemetery and tell ghost stories. She had been looking forward to it all month; the guys had, too. They were never able to get out and do normal things. This was something they could do. Something fun that could be done in the dark without fear of being discovered.

But there was a new fear sinking in. She couldn't explain it. Reading the epitaph out loud was like reciting a summoning spell. Suddenly, everything felt different. Unsafe. Both of their instincts were telling them they needed to leave.

“Yeah, let's go get the guys. They shouldn't be far.”

Michelangelo led the way, practically pulling her as he set an urgent pace. It seemed like they were going back exactly the way they came, but they couldn't find their way to the gates and the truck. Everywhere were more headstones. Every place they looked seemed the same as any other place. Michelangelo suddenly stopped as his flashlight came upon the tall monolith with the headless figure crouched on top.

“What the heck?” he whispered.

“Maybe we got turned around. That's why we missed the gate,” Name offered. “If we go straight this time, we'll make it back.”

“Lead the way, Babes. I guess I keep getting turned around.”

She tried her best. One foot in front of the other. Never turning, always straight on the path. They ended up back at the monolith.

“This has got to be a joke,” Michelangelo said. “Maybe there's a bunch of these all over the place and we just keep finding them.”

Name was shaking her head. Something was wrong. Something felt...heavy, malicious. Aware. She glanced all around the fog as if there was a physical entity that was keeping them from leaving.

She gave a startled cry as Michelangelo suddenly picked her up. “Okay, one more time,” the turtle said with determination as he hoofed it through the cemetery.

“Mi-i-ikeeeey!” Name protested as she was bounced over his shoulder.

The headstones passed by as he ran at top speed. And there, hidden in the fog, she thought she saw something. Someone. A figure, pale and humanoid, standing among the graves, watching them flee.

“What?” she breathed.

Then her entire world spun out of control as she was thrown ass over end into the air. The ground came up too fast to catch herself and she clenched for impact. But a body cushioned her fall. Michelangelo rolled to a stop, encasing her in his arms, taking the brunt of the abuse. She heard his body collide with something solid. Something that sounded like it hurt.

Before she could ask if he was alright, he was over her, pawing at her with wide eyes. “Are you okay? Baby, I'm so sorry. I tripped on something. Please tell me you're okay.”

It was just a small change. It was “Baby” not “Babes.” But it meant everything. The way he looked at her with such fear and concern. The way he cradled her face in his hands now, brushing the hair back, looking her over.

She put her hands on his wrists. “Mikey, I'm fine. I promise.”

He breathed out a long sigh of relief. “Thank God. If anything happened to you because of me—well, the guys would kick my ass for sure. But I'd never be able to forgive myself.” He leaned in close, pulling her in. “I'd never hurt you on purpose. You know that right?”

She couldn't help it. He was so close, holding her. Talking with such an earnest voice. She kissed him on the nose and his blue eyes widened.

“I know, Mikey. I trust you. I've always trusted you. This was an accident.”

He barked out a strange laugh; one of relief and glee. Then he hissed as he gripped his shoulder which was bleeding.

“You're hurt!”

“Just a scratch, Babes. No big. I'd like to come back to this conversation when we get back home.”

She grinned. “I'd like that, too. Let's get back to the truck.”

He grinned back, looking happier than she had ever seen him. Her face felt warm as she realized it was because of her that he was this happy. He offered a hand as he stood, pulling her with him, but then winced.

“You hurt your foot?” she asked.

“A little sprain maybe. Nothing serious. I can still get around. Let's—”

The sentence died in his mouth as he looked at his surroundings. A second later, Name spotted what had stopped him cold. There it was: the figure in the fog. It wasn't very tall, but definitely humanoid. It looked about the size and shape of a young woman with long, black hair covering the face. Michelangelo steeled as the figure moved toward them. The advance was as smooth as running water. The fog parted for the body as if its presence chased it away. As the girl came closer and closer, it because apparent that she wasn't walking, but floating.

She came close enough that they could see her feet were actually dragging on the ground as she was held aloft by some unknown force.

“Oh, hell no!” Michelangelo cried in a high-pitched voice.

Again, his hand unerringly found Name's and he pulled her off through the cemetery. He took a quick turn and the girl was there. He doubled back, took a different direction and the girl hovered out of the fog. Everywhere they went, she was there. And the more she chased them, the more they could hear her voice, whispering wordless curses all around them.

Another desperate direction and they came back to the monolith. Michelangelo stared at it as if it were a solid brick wall, blocking their path. Behind them, the figure floated, coming closer. He turned around, putting himself between the thing and Name. There was nowhere they could run to get away from this thing.

The head, still covered in a curtain of black, stringy hair, lolled to the side. Then the hair fell away from what it covered. The figure had no face. No eyes or nose. But there was a mouth. The ends pulled up impossibly high in a hideous grimace of a grin. Rows of pointed teeth bared.

Name wanted to scream, but she couldn't get a single sound out of her frozen throat. Michelangelo looked at the creature, then at Name; his expression desperate at first, then his gaze focused on the monolith behind her.

He put his hands on her shoulders. “You trust me, right?”

“Yes,” she managed to get out.

He picked her up, making her cling to him with her arms and legs, thighs digging into his hips. “Hold on tight and don't let go, okay? Hold on as tight as you can.”

She didn't have time to ask what he was doing before he shot off like a rocket, headed straight for the pillar of stone. She grit her teeth, clinging to him with all her might as he charged right into the monolith, shell first. His weight collided with the headstone with solid force and she felt it give way with a deafening crack. The pillar toppled as Michelangelo rolled to the ground on the other side. He slid to a stop on his feet, one arm protectively cradling the softer body wrapped around him.

“Still with me, Babes?”

Though she was shaking, she was unhurt. “Yeah...I'm here. I'm good.”

The faceless thing was gone. Something felt...changed somehow. She couldn't explain it. Michelangelo must have felt it, too. He scooped her up with a “Let's bail.”

Carrying her bridal style, they raced through the cemetery with an uneven stride. His ankle had to still hurt, but he wasn't putting her down. Miraculously, this time, it felt as though their surroundings had opened; released them. And, in the distance, the fog was thinning and there were those beautifully crooked gates and beyond them, the garbage truck.

They both could have cried.

“Guys! Guys!” Michelangelo called out to the night. “Raph! Leo! Don! Where are you guys? We gotta go!”

Out of the fog the three missing brothers came, each from a different direction. At first, Name was relived to see them as Michelangelo set her down. But as they neared, a new fear filled her. They looked awful, haggard. Haunted.

Donatello was wide-eyed, shaking and bloodlessly pale. Leonardo was filthy, swords in his hands and soaking wet. He panted wildly like he had just run a marathon. Raphael was terrifying; splattered in blood.

“Dudes! What happened to you?” Michelangelo demanded. “Did you see it, too? The thing without the face?”

“Without a face?” Raphael squawked. “What are you talking about? That's not what attacked me.”

“Raph, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Name asked in alarm.

Shaking a bit himself, Raphael wiped some blood from his cheek. “Nah. Most of it's not mine. It didn't get me too bad. Did it get you?”

She was confused. “Mikey and I saw this...person—thing in the fog. She didn't have a face but—”

“Wait.” Leonardo cut her off. “You've been with Mikey this entire time?” His voice turned into a hollow whisper. “Then who was with me?”

“I...I also though you were with me.” Donatello said.

They both looked at Raphael who suddenly seemed like he was about to faint.

“Dudes. Let's get the hell out of here.” Michelangelo announced.

That was all that was needed as they practically stampeded for the truck and scrambled inside. Donatello was still shaking and he struggled to start the ignition. Only when Leonardo put a hand on his shaking wrist did he take a moment to breathe deep and steady himself.

The garbage truck roaring to life was the most beautiful sound any of them had ever heard. Donatello turned them around and sent them flying out of there, bumpy road be damned. Name still didn't have her seat belt on. She was trying to check on Raphael. He had several scratches, but he seemed to be telling the truth. The blood on him (and on his weapons, she noticed) wasn't his.

She was about to take her seat when he grabbed her hand. “You're okay, right? You're not hurt?”

She wasn't the one covered in blood, but she humored him. “I'm fine. Oof!” She stumbled as the truck hit a particularly bumpy patch and scrambled for the other middle seat so she could belt herself in. She didn't make it as Michelangelo's arms snatched her up and yanked her into the back. She found herself pressed to his plastron, arms tightly around her.

“Stay with me?” he whispered in her ear. “Stay here next to me.”

She glanced to the front; worried about the others. But the brothers were taking care of one another. Leonardo checked on Raphael, then on Donatello and Donatello made sure Leonardo was okay. All of them were safe in the truck and they were going home. There wasn't much else she could do for him.

And her and Mikey...something new happened tonight, and she didn't want to let go of him either. They still had to finish their conversation.

“Yeah, I'm here. I'll stay right here with you. Always.”

*********************

I hope you guys liked it so far. The next part will (hopefully) be up this weekend if I can find the time.)

@turtle-babe83 @android-cap-007 @pheradream15 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @thelaundrybitch