#he was kind and polite and also the only person i voluntarily talked to since i got here

[fangsandfeels]

I still can't get over the fact of how supportive Jaheira is to Astarion, to the point of calling people who consider vampires merciless and power-hungry ignorant when he chooses not to ascend. It could have been part of the same rewrite Saarevok and Viconia went through, but I know that's not the case since everyone loves to have Jaheira back, which means writers nailed her character and personality.

Why am I so fascinated by it?

Now, I know very little about Baldur's Gate 2, I admit, so feel free to correct me, but there was one vampire companion in the enhanced edition - Hexxat. Unlike Astarion, she was a full vampire. Like, Astarion, she too stated that everything she did was for her own survival and never failed to mention that she was merely a victim of unfortunate circumstances.

According to her dialogue, she never stirred conflicts: she was polite, reserved, respectful, loyal, and didn't mock or belittle any good-aligned characters.

Meanwhile, the said characters hated her guts. To the point that they would either literally attack her (Aerie, Anomen, Mazzy, Keldorn, Valygar) if they walked together for too long or demand the MC to kick her out of the group - just for being an abomination. Jan was the only companion who, among general distrust for vampires, had a very personal reason to hate Hexxat (she lured and killed his niece). But others just hated her for being undead. Among them, Jaheira and Minsc were the least aggressive in regard to her, yet remained on high alert around her.

But then came the resolution of Hexxat's personal quest...

...where it turned out that all that time, she was trying to find a way to stop being a vampire. To go back to her human form. Yes, even if that meant she would literally crumble to dust because her mortal body was going to feel the weight of centuries. And yet, Hexxat still agreed to this - she wanted to die as a human instead of continuing to live as a vampire, despite having a cloak to walk in sunlight and genuinely never revealing how she really felt about her condition (mostly because the kind-hearted characters weren't giving her any reasons to tell them how she feels). Of course, the MC can talk her out of it, but she only agrees if they promise to end her life as soon as she asks them. Which is kinda telling that Hexxat was never enjoying her life as a vampire and only considered delaying her death because she found a company worth living for. She also refuses to make the MC a vampire, claiming she can't give them what they desire and that she is done "using them" - while it's mostly attributed to scrapped content, it can also be the sign that Hexxat could have turned the MC into her spawn, but chose not to out of respect, or that she could have made them a full vampire, but refused to - because she felt like they didn't understand what they asked for and saw vampiric existence as a burden, not a gift.

Now, I know that there were no mentions of Hexxat in BG3 and that she is only a BG2: Enhanced Addition companion, but still, I have that headcanon that Jaheira was affected by her story. She promised Hexxat to overlook her nature (acknowledging that she wasn't turned voluntarily), but still remained pointedly wary of her - only to find out that all that time, the only thing Hexxat worked towards was her own death. Not getting more power, not finding a way to live in luxury while draining every pretty girl she could find, no - just ending her existence.

It probably went against everything she knew about vampires - creatures who clung to their immortality and reveled in spreading misery.

Hexxat wasn't a good person: she put her needs first, she killed a lot of innocent people; she lured in and drank girls because she was attracted to women and chose victims based on her preference - and she never failed to remind that she was the victim here while showing superficial regret for the killings. But, given that she was doomed ever since she was Turned, and the only "help" she could expect from a random paladin was a searing smite, she probably learned that it didn't matter how much regret she would show or how hard she would lament about her fate - she will be treated and murdered as an abomination. So, in the end, she only sought death on her own terms - all while having to hear how much everyone wanted her dead over and over again.

These are some dreadful shoes to put yourself into. And while some might say "If I was Turned, I wouldn't kill anyone! I'd walk into the sun at once and end myself!"...would they really do it, without knowing what's happening to their soul?

It's a big deal in Faerun. IIRC, there is no official statement regarding what happens to vampires after they die and DMs usually get to decide that part. It means you have no clue if you're a Turned vampire without any background knowledge on the matters of sould and spirit.

What if the god you worshipped rejected you for being undead (no matter how much of yourself you managed to preserve somehow), and your soul would go to the Wall? What if you won't even make it to the City of Judgement? Would you take that chance if one of the outcomes would be your soul slowly getting absorbed into the Wall while you feel every moment, all your hard work of serving your deity or just being a decent person gone to waste? What if you go to the Abyss just because your soul got tainted?

In a world where the afterlife is very much real, such uncertainty is terrifying.

Yes, while vampires aren't supposed to have a soul (it's part of the curse), games diverge from the DnD rules in that regard (especially BG3, with the spawns).

I think this, along with general jaded observations, made Jaheira more accepting of many things. No, of course, she would be a menace to Cazador's spawns or any vampires who dare to approach her house - no bloodsucker comes near her cubs and lives. No, she won't automatically cut all the undead some slack. But, sometimes, she watches and observes before she makes a verdict: especially when a particular undead is a part of a group she works with.

Of course, she would sass Astarion (and he'd gleefully sass her back). But she never gives him the same warnings she gave to Hexxat - or admonishes him for his nature. At best, she calls him an immortal, but she'd rather poke fun at his gremlin side, than his undead side.

(Mind that she would have ripped him a new one lest he gave her a reason, and Astarion was smart enough not to do that)

It seems to me, Jaheira really believed that Astarion had it in him to reject the ritual. Some of our companions are surprised that Astarion was able to refuse the allure of power, but Jaheira isn't one of them. She is the one saying that maybe people who think they know everything about vampires are actually fools who don't know shit. It's not possible she isn't speaking from experience.

[binch-i-might-be]

you know what maybe getting stabbed for a few hours will help calm me down

[letarasstuff]

"I don't wanna leave you, Daddy"

(A/N): This was requested by an Anon and it's based on this concept. I hope you are ready for the feels.

Summary: Hotch's daughter is an introvert. A quiet one. But why does she go even quieter after her mother's death?

Warnings: So much hurt. Angst. Fluff. It's bitter sweet.

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

(Y/N) never really was an outgoing person. Even since she was able to walk and talk, she still clung to her parents. She refused to play on the playground when other children were there. Socializing was just not her thing. Her parents were sure that she would never be the person to stand up and perform on stage spontaneously. And it is ok.

This doesn’t really change when Jack comes around. Sure, as he grows older and more capable of things (Y/N) plays with him. But it really seems like he is the only one around her age she is not afraid to befriend.

Aaron and Haley reassure themselves that their daughter will find friends in elementary school. After all this is an institution where many children go to and there also are adults trained for helping them coming along. She definitely will find at least one other kid to hang out with regularly and learn how to be a proper child. Because as of right now (Y/N) is more like a little adult, taking responsibilities, like watching over her little brother, she doesn’t need to do voluntarily. Maybe she will be more messy, rebellious, anything but a perfect child.

But this doesn’t exactly happen. (Y/N)’s teachers are really happy with her. Every parent-teacher conference is about how well and polite she is, always behaving good and following the rules. Sadly, they don’t have any good news regarding her social life. It’s not that she doesn’t get along with her classmates, it’s just that she isn’t able to strike up a conversation or is very good at keeping one long enough that a kid is interested in her.

Knowing that (Y/N) is mostly quiet in her school days, Aaron makes it a habit to bring her more often to the office. She surprisingly warms quickly up to his team and whenever she is around them the girl is an unstoppable tornado running loose around the bullpen.

This is kind of how she grows up until the age of middle school. (Y/N) learns some social skills and makes a few friends over the last few years. Unfortunately these friendships are not as deep as the parents wish, still it’s better than nothing.

Things get difficult when Aaron and Haley start to separate. It never is easy when parents fall out of love and it is not only difficult for Jack to see his father not as often as he used to, considering he still is a toddler needing both parents. Especially (Y/N), who is more of a daddy’s girl than a mommy’s girl, suffers from the situation at home.

Of course it’s hard on her to not see her father for a week or two at a time, but ever since her parents are going on parted ways she sees him at most one weekend every three weeks. This also changes her social life dramastically.

“(Y/N), don’t you wanna do something with your friends? You can invite them over for the weekend”, Haley suggests after watching her daughter not going out with somebody outside of school for several days. For the past two weeks the ten year old just comes home, does her homework and puts her nose in one of the books her Uncle Spencer recommended.

The girl only looks up at her mother to shake her head. “Why not, Sweetie? I haven’t seen William and John in so long. Are you still friends with them?” (Y/N) nods again. “So what is it? Are you guys fighting?” Haley sits down next to her on her bed.

“No, they just-just don’t know about this. I don’t want to tell them. And I want to stay home. It’s ok how it is right now”, she admits. Her mother’s heart breaks at that statement.

In this moment she realizes that anything a parent does has immediate consequences for the children. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I didn’t know this is so hard for you. Maybe you can talk to them over the next few days about it, I think it’ll help you. Do you want to watch a film with me for now? Jack has a sleepover at a friend’s. We can do a girl’s night. We hadn’t had one in a long time.”

(Y/N)’s eyes light up at that. “With all the candy in the world?” Haley smiles at the newfound excitement. “Of course. Anything you want.”

From only seeing Aaron every now and then it suddenly turns to not knowing when she will see him next. After George Foyet ambushes him and makes his family into the next target, (Y/N), her brother and her mother have to go into witness protection.

The goodbye at the hospital is painful and filled with tears. “But Dad, I don’t want to leave you. I’ll miss you too much. I don’t like not seeing you. And what about you? You will be more lonely and-and I can’t leave you”, she confesses, sobbing into him.

Hotch has to hold his own tears back. He doesn’t want to come over as stoic, but as the strong father figure he always tries to be. “Honey, I know I’ll miss you so much. You have to be strong for your mother. This will not be easy and I know it. I promise to do my best to get all of you back as soon as possible, ok? Please be good for your mother and behave. We all need to work together for you to get back fast and safely.”

(Y/N) continues to cry into his hospital gown. Aaron can’t help it and dissolves in tears himself while trying to calm her down. “Shh, Honey. Everything will be fine. I’m so so sorry for all this. I never wanted something like this to happen. Shh, we will see each other real soon. The team and I will do our best. Just please, don’t cry. Please, it all will be better. I can’t let you go without seeing your beautiful laugh for one last time.”

“I don’t wanna leave you, Daddy. I-I wanna stay with you and Uncle Dave and Auntie JJ and Uncle Spencer and Uncle Der and Auntie Penny and Auntie Em. I’m scared you won’t be fine when we come back.”

It’s needless to say that nobody cracked even a smile that day.

Going into witness protection made Haley worry about Jack especially. He is just four years old and she isn’t sure how much he understands about what’s going on. Surprisingly the boy gets accustomed to the situation pretty fast. Of course he misses his father and his people from school, but he is also quick to meet new ones in the town they moved to.

(Y/N) has bigger problems. New school. New kids. New everything.

“Maybe you can see it as a fresh start. Here is nobody you know. You can be whoever you want to be. I can take you shopping and you can try out a new style”, her mother tries to make the situation sound advantageous to her. But the girl dryly answers: “When somebody doesn’t like me how I am now, how will they like an act?”

Sam Kassmeyer regularly reports back to Aaron about his family’s well being. “Jack is thriving. His teachers describe him as a bundle of joy. (Y/N) slowly gets acclimated to the change. Haley told me she started making friends with a girl in their neighborhood. I already ran a background check and the family is clean.”

Hotch lets out a sigh of relief. He turns towards the image on Penelope’s monitor. “Happy fifth birthday, Buddy.”

A few weeks after that it seems like the events overturn each other.

Foyet coming back. Kassmeyer getting tortured. Foyet finding Haley and the children. Them coming back to their house. The call. Working the case with Jack. The gunshot. The fighting noises. Hotch opening the box and hugging both of his children, relieved to see them alive.

The following weeks are difficult for the now smaller family. They mostly consist of watching videos of happy memories and talking about their feelings. Although it’s more like Jack talking about his feelings, (Y/N) went mostly silent ever since their mother’s death. This worries her father more than anything.

Two months have gone by. “Hey Honey, I’m going into the office today. Do you wanna come with me, stay at home or go to school? Anything is fine by me”, he asks her softly, kneeling beside her chair at the table. The girl is munching on her cereal halfheartedly.

“Can I come to the office?” (Y/N) asks in a hoarse voice. It’s actually the first time in four days that Aaron hears her voice. A small smile forms on his face. “Of course, that’s nice. Aunt Penny is asking me after her favorite Hotchner for days on end now. And Uncle Spencer got a stack of books he has for you to read.”

His daughter nods and quickly gets ready. They are soon on their way to Quantico after dropping Jack off at daycare. “How are your classmates? Do you like the new school?” They decided to send (Y/N) to a different school. She couldn’t bear the thought of only being the girl whose Mom died because of a serial killer.

“It’s fine. There are a few girls who are really nice. I think we can be friends. Mo-” She suddenly cuts herself off. Aaron glances over at her. “Continue, Sweetheart. Just tell me what’s on your mind”, he tries to encourage her.

The girl hesitates before following her father’s advice. “Mom would have liked them,” she mumbles. It’s quiet for a few seconds. Hotch is looking for a suitable answer. After all it’s the first time she talked about her mother since her death. “I’m sure of it, Honey. Maybe you can invite them over and I can get to know them. Think about it, no pressure of course.” (Y/N) nods to indicate that she heard him.

Not long later they enter the bullpen. “There she is! My little Hotchner! How you doing, Baby?” Derek asks her and envelopes her into a hug. But she only shrugs her shoulders. This goes on for the rest of the day. Whenever anyone talks to her, the only answer is given by her body language.

Hotch watches helplessly Spencer trying to engage in a conversation with her. His arms and hands are waving around. (Y/N) though just looks at him without being really there mentally. It seems like she is lost in her own thoughts, like it happened so often over the last few months.

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Dave asks, sitting down on the chair opposite of him. Aaron looks at him funny. “Of course. But (Y/N) is just not ready to talk about Haley and everybody grieves differently. I can’t force her to speak, Dave.”

The older agent leans back in his seat. “I don’t think she needs to talk about her. This probably is too soon. She needs to talk about you. The changes.” After a short pause, in which the other one still doesn’t get the point, Rossi continues. “That little girl just lost her mother. She is scared to lose her father, the one with the high risk job. I think that is enough to talk about.”

This occupies the agent for the remainder of the day. Aaron was so invested in fulfilling both parent roles, that he forgot that he is just a father. The man his children go to when they have a nightmare. The one, who is more lenient than their mother. He can’t be both ones. He can’t be two people in one.

A kid trusts a mother and a father usually. And he can’t be mother and father at once. Hotch has to accept the fact. The fact that (Y/N) and Jack are going to grow up without a mother. But luckily not without mother figures.

Later that day, after tucking Jack in, Aaron knocks on his daughter’s door. A small “Come in!” echoes back to him. He enters her room and spots (Y/N) already in her bed reading a book Spencer gave her today.

“Hey, do you have time before it’s lights out?” He asks, still wanting to give her the upper hand on this. The girl nods and scoots over for her father to take a place. He lays next to her, pulling his daughter into a hug.

“I know I can’t promise it. Coming back to you every time. You know it as much as I do. But I promise you to try anything and everything in the books. You guys keep me going.” Tears roll over both of their faces.

“I-I just”, (Y/N) moves her head onto his chest to sob into it, “Just don’t wanna lose you, too. I-I don’t think I-I can’t be the girl, who doesn’t have a mother AND a father. C-can you stop that from happening?” Hotch has to wipe his eyes before answering.

“I-I try to keep that from happening, Honey. I promise.”

This is how they fall asleep, squished in a twin bed close to each other. In the morning they both are overheated and got a visitor during the night. Jack wakes them up, asking why they had a sleepover without him.

This morning is the first time Aaron sees (Y/N) smiles since day zero.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Hi, could i please have a DC matchup with dialogue. Thank you!

I'm female/straight, asian, 5'7, long curly black hair. I have a simple style, neutral to dark colors, often monochrome, I have an expensive taste too. I wear no jewelry and little-to-no makeup as I think both are tacky as hell.

I often come off as intimidating and serious but the moment I open my mouth, I become an over-excited, eager-to-please puppy. I'm usually happy to be of service and comfortable with taking orders (teacher’s pet tendency). Also, I am incapable of holding any kind of grudges because I think we can only be ourselves and can never really understand other people to judge. If I got submitted to some nasty things, I can let it go pretty easily. It’s hard for me to get angry. But despite all of it, i’m not afraid of being alone and proud of my emotional independence. In extreme situations, I have a tendency to hardcore door-slam when overwhelmed and ghost everyone in my life. Totally need time alone and cannot stand going to parties.

I love ideas, obsessed with symbols and would get emotional to anything humanity-related. Would suddenly get philosophical during any conversations. Love helping and figuring people out, their motivations, their reasonings etc...Though I am ridiculously clumsy with details and oblivious to practical knowledges.

My dream is to create a nonprofit organization that is multi-functioning but with the main goal of using what different people have to offer voluntarily. I am majoring in computer science, yeah I know it has nothing to do with my dream but hey, it’s still a skill that I can offer, I’m not reaching that dream alone anyway.

Weirdly, I’m not into politics at all, I’m not interested in social structures and promises. Only the benevolence of people.

Hello dear for this matchup I ship you with:

Aquaman 🐟

- your both badasses your his queen. Your both intimidating but big softies.

- your the kind of person that's a fighter even though wonder woman couldn't compete.

- you get your own battle armor and your a very skilled fighter even getting your own tritant.

- you used to have a life on the human surface but you decided to live in the sea studying marine biology.

- you your the dreamy type and often list ideas to Aquaman and even then he holds you in his arms.

- often you have cute times like when you explore the ocean and your a clumsy swimmer at times.

You: geeze Arthur I can't swim that fast *breaths heavily*

Arthur: I know I was being a pain in your ass *Snickers*

You: *punches his arm lightly* you know since I met you I never thought I was queen material

Arthur: nah your kinda a badass *punches back lightly*

You: since we protected the surface what now *leans into him*

Arthur: well I'm not sure drink I suppose *kisses your forehead*

You: oh of course *hugs looking into the sunset*

- often when your talking about computers he zones out. Your personality is sweet so he does try to listen.

- when your emotional there's often furniture and Arthur tries to calm you down. He would try to do the best he can while Mera would act like your sister.

- your wedding was in the sea surrounded by tons of Atlantians and surface dwellers. Your baby had his hair and your eyes being a hybrid. They become a strong person later on.

That's all I have for now:

Ta ta💫

[the-absolute-worst]

This is going to be a rant with so many spoilers, but I really feel like writing it out, so let's go. Bear in kind that it's been probably two years since I played this game.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is mostly hot garbage, but I'd still give it maybe a 6.5/10. The prequel is easily an 8/10.

I say mostly because Rex and Pyra/Mythra are at the forefront of everything and are the least interesting characters, in a game almost entirely driven by it's characters, because boy it sure isn't driven by it's dialogue or gameplay. The plot is good, but only if you play enough to actually get any of it, and then also play the prequel, which was better in every way.

Here's fair warning, I'm about to hate on Rex and Pyra. If that makes you mad, then leave I guess. In a few paragraphs I'll be gushing about Amalthus and Jin.

Rex is a good ol' boy blank slate who's never done anything wrong in his life, and his only functional purpose in the story is to be the UwU good boi that makes Pyra and Nia feel things and beats the bad guy at the end. Which is fine. I don't actually have a problem with him being there, it's mostly that the writing and plot surrounding him isn't good.

Speaking of that poor writing and plot, Pyra/Mythra is an emotionally starved train wreck with fat tits, and I'm convinced that's the only reason people like them. I'm gonna keep lumping them together, because while they do have different personalities, it never actually matters. They're just two different stereotypes of a depressed teenager with daddy issues. If either of them had a grip on their emotional or mental state then a lot what passes for plot wouldn't have happened, and I'd have enjoyed the game more. It is absolutely exhausting in modern media seeing so many female characters with emotional problems. The niche and stereotype these characters fill has been done to death and writers need to stop. It's incredibly lazy and not interesting.

I'll stop hating so much now, because it's time to talk about things I enjoy.

Ozychlyrus Brounev Tantal, better known as Zeke Von Genbu, or as I affectionately refer to him, Chuunibro, is an absolute chad, and I love him. Zeke is a ridiculous character with a pet turtle and says and does ridiculous things, but has a heart of gold chained by duty and politics. His initial facade of an appearance masks that he's actually the crown prince of Tantal. He's a goofball and the only off switch is when he has to sit down and represent his country at a UN meeting. Throughout the game he's shown to care about his people who are suffering under his father's rule. He'd love to do something about it, but politics are a bitch. His country is deliberately isolationist and no other country can even get in to help because they live in a giant turtle that never surfaces. He explicitly states that he's never killed another person, because killing is a cowardly act. His relationship with Pandoria is portrayed exquisitely. They are best friends, and they've been through a lot. Zeke owes her everything, because she voluntarily became mortal to save his life. She did this not only because if he had died, she would have lost all her memories and been stolen by bandits, but also because they're best friends, and will be for the rest of both of their lives. She is also, coincidentally, the only person capable of telling the giant turtle country what to do. Zeke is going to make a great king and Pandoria will keep him sane.

The edgy silver sword boy is a character I thought I wasn't going to like much. I thought they weren't going to do anything interesting with him and that he was just going to be an overpowered wall for Rex to friendship his way over. But I forgot this was Xenoblade. Turns out Jin was one of the most interesting characters the entire time. A driverless blade that hates violence and has the emotional baggage of literally eating the heart of his best friend to prolong his life and memory of her, as she was dying in his arms. This absolutely dejected ball of edge is approached by none other than the death incarnate, and son of god, who is responsible for said baggage, and resolves to work with him to end needless suffering by killing god. There's a lot of details I'm glossing over here, but damn, I love the sad man on a quest to kill god. 10/10 antagonist. I refuse to call him a villain. If nothing else, please play the prequel because Lora is a certified good girl, but not the blank slate kind that Rex is, and I would also kill god to bring her back. Also, Jin can cook.

Praetor Amalthus. I feel comfortable calling this man a villain. He just wants to watch the world burn. He said "fuck religion, I'm gonna find god myself", and instead found the aegis' core crystals. He then resonated with one (the afore mentioned death incarnate son of god) and nearly ended the world. He didn't feel bad about this at all, and used it to gain power in the religious organization he told to fuck off, and now leads it while doing fucked up experiments and plotting to take over the world. He is the Palpatine of this world, being a cold, calculating, universal antagonist and the direct cause of every event that takes place. He is a menace filled with nothing but hate for god, and his only regret is not seeing humanity at it's worst before their total annihilation. All of this, and yet somehow he is genuinely sad at the current state of the world. His character is one that has achieved enlightenment. He is convinced that he understands the true nature of mankind, and has also come to the logical conclusion that god is a bastard. He is genuinely sad that the world had to be the way it is, and it is his job, as the world's most powerful religious figure, to plunge it so far in to darkness that it ends itself. At least that's what I assume his plan was. The dude was a psycho. 10/10.

I don't know how to wrap this up, but I haven't talked gameplay. It's more streamlined than the other games in the series, which were a lot like an MMO. It's not bad, and I prefer it to turn based combat. I don't have a lot to say about it, but the prequel made a lot of changes for the better. It's a better game overall. Play the prequel.

This post is over now.

[violet-t-9]

My take on why Caleb doesn’t trust Essek

I’ve seen a lot of discussion about “why doesn’t Caleb trust Essek” and here is just my two cents (spoilers, written after the new episode 131 talks machina). This will be very, very long, so beware. 

Before I start, this post is not meant to be against Essek and he is actually one of my top favourite characters. I wanted to get my thoughts out because I saw many people take Essek’s side and I want to consider Caleb’s perspective.

Also, the quotes are not EXACTLY accurate, but please bear with me. NOTHING I say reflects anything other than my own, biased interpretation of the events, so take it with a grain of salt. 

While it has been a long time in real life for us, in game time the peace talk was not that long ago. Liam has mentioned both as Caleb and in talks that Caleb had been very paranoid about Essek for a long time, thinking he was working them for his own agenda and could be Dynasty’s traitor. However, it is also confirmed that Caleb started to actually trust Essek because “the other shoe never dropped” and consider him a true friend - right before (“like two days later”) being the first one to discover (through Frumpkin) that he had been right about Essek since day one.

Imagine what that would do to Caleb, to finally letting himself trust just to get betrayed right away and to have his paranoia proven correct all along. Of course he still doesn’t trust Essek now, of course he is hurt. After the peace talks, Essek didn’t even seem to regret what he had done (he straight up said “I can’t say I regret what I have done”, also said seeing Adeen in chains was “freeing”). The first time he showed a genuine change was in episode 124, even then, Caleb failed to read his intentions with a nat 1 insight check, so he could not actually confirm that Essek was telling the truth (he was just given the “hard to read”) so basically he had no way of knowing if Essek was lying.

When Caleb thinks back on their past interactions, he would have to think about how everything Essek had said could be a lie, and that would taint any good memories they had. Even if we, as viewers, know that Essek was probably sincere most of the time, Caleb doesn’t know that. 

Essek had been lying to the party since they first met, he got close to M9 precisely because he wanted to use them to cover his beacon heist, to make sure that they “did not get too close to the truth”. He steered the party in the directions he wanted them to go in, like actively directing them to focus on Obann. And Essek was GOOD at what he did. M9 told him a lot of secrets - that they suspected a mole and that there are two beacons in the empire, etc. Essek succeeded in his objective and got a lot of information he wouldn’t have gotten otherwise because of his deception. Yes, he started to care for them somewhere along the line. At some point, he found himself actually wanting to be friends with M9, but that is a separate issue. He kept them in the dark, lied to their faces, betrayed their trust before they even met regardless. Now obviously he was in a very difficult position and probably felt like he could not tell them the truth (how would he tell them, anyways?), but it doesn’t change the fact that he used them for his goals and succeeded. 

Now Caleb and Essek had a mutually manipulative political-game-like dance going on when they first met, but that was more or less on equal footing and they probably both knew what each other was doing (they were both pretty obvious). Caleb also used his training to “keep [Essek] on the rails”, but that imo kind of pales in comparison to Essek using M9 to cover up his entire heist. Essek did help them a lot, but he did those things for favours, at least at first. He never cashed them (except the one vial Caleb gave him) but he didn’t have to - the favours worked, M9 decided not to expose him because he went out of his way to help them. Even after discovering the truth (that he was the catalyst of a war between two nations, one of which is 3 party members’ homeland), the M9 did not try to fight him or report him to literally ANYONE which would have gotten him killed. Caleb even gave Essek the hope that there IS a path to redemption when Essek didn’t believe in it. So yeah if I were Essek I would too be very grateful to M9. If I were Caleb I would probably never trust Essek ever again. 

Essek is shown to be completely uninterested in the Eyes of Nine but it was a valid concern. He did commit high treason for knowledge, it’s really not that much of a stretch that he’d be tempted by the city (exhibit A: Caleb himself, exhibit B: poor, poor Yussa). Good for him that he is not tempted, but Caleb’s suspicion was not uncalled for.

The thing is, M9 do trust Essek still. They told him literally everything about the TT and the city. Caleb even showed Essek the eye. It just makes me uncomfortable every time people say that M9 are “bad friends” for leaving Essek alone, or that Caleb is “mean” to Essek for not trusting him (by the way, the line about “that won’t help with the inside” was meant by Liam as “commiseration, not condemnation” if you didn’t know) but look, M9 doesn’t revolve around Essek? They have a lot of things to deal with and Essek was not on their top priority. They don’t have a responsibility to “fix” Essek’s morality issues (tbf, they still kinda did kick start that process). And hey, it’s great that Essek has obviously been doing pretty well for himself in terms of personal growth without the M9, and he could have reached out to them if he really wanted to. Remembering to use slots to message and check in with people is never M9′s strong suite.

Caleb also really didn’t endanger Essek more than Essek himself did. Caleb did used dunamancy in the empire (not resonant echo that he specifically learned from Essek, but something he reverse engineered by himself), but Trent would never have figured it out if Essek didn’t voluntarily work with Trent and the Assembly in the first place. Also, Caleb did apologize for endangering Essek (like he was supposed to, Essek deserved that apology).

So yeah, imo Caleb is right to not fully trusting Essek right now, for reasons I have mentioned above. However, Caleb clearly still cares about Essek, from the “just breathe” moment, the worry he felt, how he emphasized on the amulet. A lack of trust does not mean he just doesn’t care. Caleb was also very adamant about trusting Essek (“one person we can trust is better than three we cannot”) over his old friends (and obviously Trent). So again, I don’t really see him saying “we trust you more than my old teacher” as an issue - it’s just a statement, which is true, they do trust him more than Trent even if Trent may come with more power and numbers.

Yeah, Essek is very remorseful now, but they’ve seen this side of Essek for exactly two episodes (124 and 131), so I am not really surprised that they don’t just immediately go back to full trust mode with Essek. It will take some time, some bonding, but I’m sure the trust can be re-established. 

Just want to make it clear, I’m NOT saying Caleb is perfect. Caleb is a very flawed character (e.g. a hypocrite in terms of the eye tattoos) and I can see why some would see his interactions with Essek as problematic (but really, it’s from both sides). However, I do believe that some people twist Caleb’s words to Essek a lot and interpret them to be more vicious, manipulative and colder than he intends them to be/than they actually are because they dislike Caleb, or like Essek a lot, or for many other reasons. This post is about Caleb’s perspective so I’m not going to list all of his own flaws. I just think that in many posts I’ve seen people take Essek’s side and blame Caleb or the M9 and seem to forget that Essek did betray the M9 and “did a lot of shitty things” like Matt said. So this is just an alternative perspective for those people to consider.

Feel free to disagree, like I said these are only my opinions. That said, I’m really looking forward to the next episodes. I feel like they can establish how Essek may fit in the M9 now and maybe start some great trust-building. I cannot wait to see Essek’s interactions with M9 and I think the next few episodes will be very important for the character dynamics. 

[ladykissingfish]

Highschool with the Akatsuki

*Modern-Day*

Hidan

Behavioral nightmare. Fidgets, drops things, disrupts others’ work, talks during study/quiet times. Has to be constantly reprimanded for his inappropriate jokes and foul language. Sent to the principal‘s office so much that he was asked his opinion when the man was choosing new carpeting. Most of his friends are exactly like him, so if they’re in the same class they have to be seated clear across the room from each other. Can be a good student when he TRIES; but doesn’t see the point in trying, so will just barely be passing his classes with C’s and D’s. Skinny jeans and Vans with open flannel shirts over white or black tank. Wears a necklace with strange symbol on it, when asked what it represents he’ll say “my religion” but won’t elaborate. In the bathroom between every class grabbing “a quick smoke”. Dyed his hair silver as a joke in the 6th grade, has kept it that way ever since.

Kakuzu

As serious as a heart attack, no matter the situation. Incredibly tall and with a stern face; is almost always mistaken for being the teacher by new kids. Has an impressive collection of “old-man” sweaters. The stingiest guy alive with a buck; will actually make you hand-write him an IOU slip over borrowing 50 cents for the vending machine. Decent in all subjects but a star in Economics. Has one or two “friends” but doesn’t seem particularly close to them (or anyone else for that matter). Doesn’t talk a lot in class but when he does it’s usually because he disagrees with a point the teacher is making, and he isn’t afraid to debate him or her until he’s acknowledged as being correct.

Deidara

Deidara is one of those people who needs constant stimulation to keep him engaged in whatever’s going on. Since school tends to involve a lot of tedious repetition, paying attention in class isn’t something he’s the best at. Most likely to “finish up” his homework assignments five minutes before class starts. Grades tend to fall in the B-/C+ range. The type to always pick a seat that’s in the back of the room and/or closest to the window. Has a sketchbook that he carries around with him wherever he goes. Style consists of ripped jeans over fishnets, combat boots, fingerless gloves, band t-shirts and oversized pullover hoodies. Super-long hair tied back in ponytail. One of the first (and only) people at school to *openly* identify as pansexual; gets asked out a lot but always declines everyone because dating “would interfere with his artistic process”. Doesn’t speak a lot in class unless the topic particularly interests him, in which case he will ramble on and on until politely stopped by the teacher. His table at lunch will always be full because others are drawn to his energy and charisma. The art room is his home away from home; on a first-name basis with the instructor.

Sasori

The smart, quiet kid. Tends to keep to himself and always appears to be in his own little world. Doesn’t ever seem to be paying attention in class, but when the teacher randomly calls on him, he has the right answer every single time. Always gets A’s but will get upset over a “low A” (in the 90-94% range). A good budgeter of time and will usually manage to get most of his homework done at lunch or during study hall. Has a (small) core group of friends and not looking to add to it anytime soon. Wears a lot of khakis and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters (even in the summer). Because of his organizational skills, technical mind, and proficiency in using tools, he excels in woodshop; often informally used by the teacher as an “assistant” to help other students with their projects. Absolutely hates gym (his small stature and delicate nature make physical exertion difficult for him); this will be the only class he doesn’t try for an A in, as he skips it as often as possible.

Itachi

Dear God, the girls ((and quite a few guys)) are crazy over this boy. Is thought of as being brooding, and mysterious ... and gut-wrenchingly handsome. Very quiet, rarely speaks in class, but when he DOES, it’s always something deep and profound. Top student grade-wise. Long dark hair and soulful eyes. Style is all black, distressed baggy pants with chains, long-sleeved band or anime shirts, boots, fishnet gloves, heavy silver bracelets and rings. Is polite to everyone but only has a handful of actual friends. Submits poems and short stories anonymously to the school paper; always gets published. Is occasionally persuaded by his teachers to volunteer as a student tutor; line will be literally out the door from people seeking his “help”. Has friends in the drama club so will go to every single school play to be supportive, even if all friend did was lighting or scenery.

Kisame

Tall and athletic; captain of the swim team. Isn’t the most handsome guy but popular because of his personality. Not really the best student, but keeps his grades up enough to be able to keep playing sports. Sweatpants, Nikes, and Letterman’s jacket. The type to step in when he sees somebody getting bullied. Has a secret love for Orchestra music and likes to sit outside the band room when it’s members have rehearsals. Friends with/friendly to absolutely everybody. Will go through more than one tray at lunch. Shines the brightest during gym class. Also a surprisingly good cook; will voluntarily take Home Economics as an elective and be one of the best bakers in the class.

Obito

Known around school as “that one guy with the mask”. Was apparently in a bad accident as a child that left the side of his face heavily scarred; adopted the practice of wearing solid-color face masks to cover damage. Teachers are made aware of his situation so no one ever tries to make him take it off; although he will do so at lunch, at a table of his close friends. Smart and articulate, everyone turns to look at him when he speaks in class. Tall and moves quickly (and silently); nobody ever knows he’s there until he’s right behind them. Dark jeans, boots and will always wear a leather jacket or trench coat, even on ridiculously hot days. Doesn’t laugh a lot but when he does, the sound of it could make anyone fall in love. A big eater of sweets; will always have some kind of candy on him that he will quietly slip beneath the mask and eat during class. When caught by teacher, will claim he had low blood sugar, and because he’s a good student otherwise he won’t be questioned further on it. The type to, at the beginning of the school year, sign up for a ton of after-school clubs, stay in them for a week, decide they’re boring, and duck out.

Zetsu

Oddball kid who sits by himself and talks to himself more than seems normal. Teachers have learned early on not to call on him in class, because he’ll just sit there and give them a silent, intent stare until they move on to someone else. Surprisingly good grades despite never talking/participating. Wears cargo shorts, T-shirts and sandals with socks, no matter the weather. Always goes outside in-between class periods; sometimes misses class altogether just to nap under a tree with his face in the sun. Eventually founds and is “captain” of the school’s gardening club; not many members but the ones that do join are very environmentally conscious, modern-day “hippies”.

Pein

Legitimately has like, 9000 piercings. There’s not an inch of this guys face that doesn’t have a shiny silver stud in it. Red and black seem to be the only colors in his wardrobe; lots of button-up shirts and zip hoodies. Has a ridiculously deep voice and is always super-intense, even when just hanging out with friends. In group projects, he’s always very quickly designated as the Leader. In his group of friends, it’s clear he’s the Leader. Not the best grades but above-average. Spends a lot of time with the blue-haired girl; it’s always rumored that they’re dating although both parties have claimed to be “just friends”. A terrifyingly persuasive arguer; joins and becomes star of the debate team within a week. The type to ask a very deep, pointed question during class and change the entire course of the teacher’s lecture.

Konan

The type to have a lot of close male friends but almost zero female ones. Tends to be the “mom” amongst her group. Excellent student, always the top marks in her class. A lot of admirers but always politely turns down potential suitors. Some piercings but nothing very extravagant. The school used to have a very strict rule about dying one’s hair “wild colors”, but she dyed hers blue and led a successful protest regarding freedom of expression. Her favorite class is literature, especially when they get to the Greek Mythology and Shakespeare units. Does origami as a hobby; when bored in class will sit and tear up bits of paper or napkins and create gorgeous little flowers. Clean and organized in every aspect EXCEPT for her locker, which is a (legendary) jumbled and unholy catastrophe.

[lightsupinthenorth]

It’s the little things

Summary: Instead of giving up on trying to convince Mobius that the TVA agents are variants during their conversation in episode 4, Loki comes up with a new tactic to help him see the light.

Excerpt: "He interrupts Mobius’ rant by slamming both his hands on the table and shouting, seemingly out of the blue: 'you’re left-handed!'"

Read on AO3

Loki’s just blurted out to Mobius that the TVA agents are all variants, in a last-ditch attempt at convincing him they’re on the same side. And also in the hope it will make him shut up about Sylvie and what he thinks Loki feels for her.

Loki goes on, expanding on the bomb he just dropped, talking about Mobius’ hypothetical past and family, hoping it will be enough to make the walls Mobius built around himself crumble.

Once Loki’s said his piece, Mobius keeps silent for a beat. Long enough for Loki to believe it might work out.

Mobius looks rattled. So much so that Loki thinks he actually got through to him.

However, Loki’s hopes are annihilated with two little words:

“Nice try”.

These aren’t the kind of words Loki would ever react well to. Because “nice try”, despite posing as praise, is always thrown at you to point out you failed. Coming from Mobius, it hurts worse than being stabbed. Because, it doesn’t only mean “you failed”. It also means “you lied so many times before that I think everything that comes out of your mouth is just another lie”. It means “I don’t trust you”.

And, really, can Loki blame Mobius for that? He’s been trying his hardest to appear ten steps ahead of everyone ever since he arrived at the TVA, and now his pride and arrogance have turned against him. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but there’s no getting used to it.

As cracks are slowly forming in Loki’s cold black heart, getting it closer and closer to shattering, Mobius starts going off about Loki and Sylvie again.

Loki’s failed on both counts, then: Mobius doesn’t believe him, and he still won’t stop ranting. And he had the nerves to complain about Loki’s yacking!

Loki considers giving up and letting Mobius do whatever he wants with him. However, as he watches Mobius reach for the TemPad with his dominant hand, he’s suddenly hit by a ridiculous – and probably bound to fail – idea. Loki might have a lot of flaws (not that he’d admit to many, if any, of them), but he’s nothing if not resourceful. He thought telling Mobius he was a variant was a last ditch-attempt, but he apparently has another dagger up his sleeve. Its blade is not very sharp, to the point it might as well be made of rubber. Still, Loki will try to make something out of it. He has to try.

He interrupts Mobius’ rant by slamming both his hands on the table and shouting, seemingly out of the blue: “you’re left-handed!”

*

Mobius stops mid-sentence, thrown out of his depth. He sighs, trying to convey exasperation instead of the surprise he really feels. He shouldn’t be surprised by anything Loki comes up with, at this point. It’s not his fault this mad man (god, whatever) still manages to be unpredictable once in a while.

“What’s that got to do with any of it?”

“I… It’s just… Hear me out. I know you don’t trust me, but think about it… really think about it. What the TVA told you about the agents being created by the Time-Keepers doesn’t make sense.”

“You lost me.”

Mobius has no idea how Loki had gone from him being left-handed to “the Time-Keepers didn’t create the TVA agents”. He’s going to need a step-by-step explanation of the process.

Loki briefly looks down, takes a deep breath and then goes back to looking at Mobius, as if bracing himself for something.

“You’re left-handed-“

Mobius opens his mouth to interrupt Loki, because, really, this is becoming ridiculous and they’re running in circles. Loki is probably just stalling for time in order to concoct a new ploy that will get him out of the hole he dug himself. He doesn’t have time to say any of this, though. Loki notices he’s not on board and cuts himself off to say:

“Please, let me get this out. Please.”

His hands are now joined in supplication and his bright blue eyes are desperate and suspiciously shiny. Mobius has seen a lot of Loki’s life, which has included its fair share of tears. That’s how he knows he couldn’t take it if Loki started crying.

So, instead of protesting as he first intended to, he just nods, allowing Loki to resume.

“Thank you. The ‘left-handed’ thing is only the first one on a list of things corroborating my main point. If the Time-Keepers had really created you, why would they have bothered to make you left-handed even though it’s not the norm? Why would you have a sweet-tooth? Why would you be weirdly fascinated by jetskis? When you look at the TVA and the way it’s organised, would you peg the Time-Keepers as beings who would care about giving their agents any type of particularities? The way I see it, if you had been created by them, you’d all be robots passing as human beings, not people with their own personalities… Besides, have your seen your nose? It’s obviously been broken before. Probably several times. Do you even remember that happening?”

Mobius instinctively raises a hand to his nose, tracing the jagged shape of it. He’s still trying to process everything Loki said, and it’s a lot.

His thoughts, as soon as he manages to gather them, jump to the possible reason why Loki’s noticed and remembered all these little things about him. It doesn’t mean Loki cares. Of course it doesn’t. he was probably only gathering intel. Besides, isn’t it absurd that Mobius would focus on this instead of focusing on the point Loki is making?

Because, he is making a point. Isn’t he?

No matter how little is known about the Time-Keepers, Mobius can admit it indeed seems out-of-character for them to have bothered with making their agents have quirks. And he indeed does not remember breaking his nose. Why would the Time-Keepers have made him look this way voluntarily? It serves no purpose.

“Say something, please.”

Mobius regains focus after having lost himself in his thoughts, and he stares into Loki’s eyes. He decides to indulge Loki and speaks, not because Loki asked nicely – after all, the god is more often than not very polite despite his numerous less than pleasant personality traits –, but because everything in his posture suggests he’s on the verge of falling apart:

“Okay… I can see where you’re coming from.”

The effect of his words are instantaneous: Loki’s entire body sags from the relief.

“I’m gonna need more proof than that before I really buy your theory, though.” Mobius says. He’s got to keep Loki on his toes. He can’t have him believe he’s got Mobius wrapped around his little finger (even though he does).

“Proof… well, Sylvie can give you proof. As I said she can access your memories and-“

“Nope, nope, nope. There ain’t no way I’m letting her anywhere near my head to access so-called memories that might not even exist.” Mobius might have admitted to himself that Loki had a point. However, he’s going to pretend there’s still a chance he’s entirely wrong about all this, because if he’s right it means Mobius’s whole life is a lie and Mobius doesn’t have the faintest idea of how he’d deal with that.

“Can’t you do it?” He adds. Apparently, he’s lost every ounce of self-preservation instinct he’s ever possessed. He’s expecting a barb from Loki, something along the lines of “So you do trust me, Mobius, I’m touched”.

He gets none of that. Loki has really decided to catch him off guard today.

Loki doesn’t say anything. He stares at Mobius as if he’d grown a second head. After barely two seconds, though, he snaps out of it, and answers calmly:

“I don’t know how. But… maybe I could learn.”

“Okay… I suppose you’ll need your demented alter-ego for that?”

Loki cringes, which is answer enough.

Mobius sighs. He does that far too often around Loki.

“Right, let’s go get her, then.”

Loki goes back to staring at him as if he’d grown a second head, then. Eyes wide, mouth agape. Mobius would find it funny if the situation wasn’t so dire.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t trust her. And I don’t trust you, either… But I can’t go on with my life as if you fuckers hadn’t just upended it with your crazy variant theory… So I guess I’ll take my chances.”

Mobius gets up and Loki imitates him. Mobius is already moving in the direction of the door when Loki stops him by grabbing his forearm. Mobius turns back toward him and arches an eyebrow in question.

“I know it won’t mean much to you but…  I have your back. I promise I won’t stab it… again. And I’ll make sure Sylvie doesn’t either.”

Mobius doesn’t trust Loki right now. He has no guarantee that he can. Most of Loki’s past suggests he cannot. But, stupidly, Mobius wants to. He really wants to trust him. It wouldn’t take a lot from Loki to make him. He won’t let it show, though. He’s stupid, but not this stupid.

“Right. Time will tell, I suppose.”

Loki is thoroughly unimpressed by Mobius’ time-related pun. It’s fine, though. Mobius is amused enough for the both of them. He smiles at Loki’s grumpy expression.

“Oh come on, it was funny!”

“A dagger through the heart would be funnier.”

Mobius rolls his eyes. Loki is such a drama-queen. It would be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing.  

“Come on, you buzzkill. Let’s go before someone decides to prune your evil twin sister for real.”

Loki groans. “I really hate you sometimes.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

*

Loki will keep telling himself that: he’s a skilled liar, especially when it comes to lying to himself, and he cannot cope with the truth right now (the truth being that he’s far too fond of Mobius for his own good). He’ll deal with it after they deal with the giant pile of their current problems.

First step: go to Sylvie. Second step: hightail it out of here

[rallamajoop]

The Witcher: The Games vs the Books part 2 – Characters and Accents

So, I've already talked at length about the relationship between the Witcher books and games, but how well they captured individual characters is its whole own subject – and you’d better believe I have enough thoughts on it for a whole extra post.

Andrej Sapkowski's skill for creating vivid and engaging characters really is so much of what brings the books to life, and no matter how much work an adaptation might put into worldbuilding and plot, it's the characters you've really got to nail to get the long-time fans on board. Especially when you’ve done what the games have, framing themselves as a direct continuation of Sapkowski's story. Nothing invites comparison to your source material like basically forcing fans to read the original novels to understand even half the backstory alluded to in-game. 

So how did they do? I can only offer my opinion – characterisation is necessarily going to be a lot more subjective than just telling you what plot points the games contradicted outright – but like any fan, I have opinions in plenty.

Of the main cast, I feel Yennefer is the character they've captured the best. They've done just as well with some supporting players – I have no real complaints about Dijkstra or Phillipa, for example, who are favourites of mine in both games and books. For the main players though, Geralt and Regis seem to be the ones who's differences I'm most inclined to forgive, whereas I don't feel like they've done Ciri justice at all. Book!Geralt is much less of a smartarse, for one thing, whereas Book!Ciri is much more of one. But if we're talking about the differences, I’m afraid we really need to start with Dandelion.

Dandelion

For all the genuinely good work the games do with characters, old and new, I don't think I can overstate what a disservice the they've done Dandelion, who I could not stand in TW3, but is now one of my favourite book!verse characters. Alas, Dandelion is a prime example of something the Witcher games really don't do well: camp. Being the archtypical bard, Dandelion is about as flamboyant as any enthusiastically-heterosexual man can be: you should be able to spot this guy by body language alone, he should be flouncing around and he should talk like a spoiled noble auditioning for Shakespeare. Book!Dandelion is over-the-top and ridiculous and just so much fun, and I loved him well before I'd even really gotten into the rest of the books around him.

Here's just a bit of dialogue from one of his first appearances, to give you a sense of how he and Geralt play off each other.

The  bard  seized  the  fingerboard  of  his  lute  and  plucked  the strings vigorously. ‘How would you prefer it, in verse or in normal speech?’ ‘Normal speech.’ ‘As you please,’ Dandelion said, not putting his lute down. ‘Listen then, noble  gentlemen,  to  what occurred  a  week  ago  near  the  free  town  of Barefield. ‘Twas thus, that at the crack of dawn, when the rising sun had barely tinged pink the shrouds of mist hanging pendent above the meadows—’ ‘It was supposed to be normal speech,’ Geralt reminded him. ‘Isn’t it? Very well, very well. I understand. Concise, without metaphors. A dragon alighted on the pastures outside Barefield.’

Though TW3's Dandelion certainly looks the part, you have to go hunting through art from the Gwent cards to find much that comes close to really capturing his personality (see left pic below – though even there, a Dandelion who'd voluntarily break his treasured lute is a very hard sell). Though a lot of fanart does better (right-below – credit goes to Tatiana Ortaliz).

But as poorly as the games capture his flamboyance, they're not that much better when it comes to taking him seriously. TW3 left me thinking he was all talk and no substance; the books make abundantly clear that he really is renowned enough to be welcome in courts across the continent. Though he often overestimates what he can talk himself out of, he isn’t stupid either: he's lectured at Oxenfurt, spied for Dijkstra, and then there are the moments where the frivolous playboy mask slips and you realise he's sometimes much better at understanding people and relationships than Geralt will ever be (which is honestly kind of funny considering how many of Dandelion’s relationships end with plates being thrown at him from an upper story). He's not at all above mocking Geralt when he deserves it either (and especially his personal and relationship issues) – Geralt will happily mock him right back.

We never do learn how they became friends (I'm pretty sure the incident listed in the wiki is just the date of their first expedition together, not their first meeting), but Geralt just doesn't form lasting friendships or romances with anyone he can't have an intelligent conversation with. And Dandelion is a damn good friend to Geralt – one who, despite being a helpless, squishy little bard, will keep Geralt's secrets under torture, or will follow him into Nilfgaard in the middle of a war simply because you don't let a friend make a trip like that alone. (Seriously, I don’t ship it nearly as much as some, but hot damn there is some material in here if you do.) In short, it's basically inconceivable that he'd leave an amnesic Geralt wandering around Vizima alone, as he does in the first Witcher game – which is the kind of thing I can mostly forgive as a gameplay conceit, only it doesn’t really get better from there.

He’s also supposed to be blond, something I don’t think is technically specified until fairly late in the novels, but 100% what I’d been picturing since his first description as a man in a colourful bonnet with cornflower-blue eyes (let’s face it: Dandelion’s hair isn’t the only thing about him that screams ‘blond’). It’s a shame no-one from the games to the show to the novels’ cover artists seem to have noticed – but at least there are some fanartists out there who were paying attention (credit for these goes to Asphaloth, Ghostcupdraws, Hvit-ravn (tumblr deleted), 94355 and itsmespicaa).

As for the games? Well, I cannot speak to how Dandelion came across in the original Polish, but I think it speaks worlds about the priorities of the English version that they didn’t even bother to cast someone with a halfway-decent singing voice as their master bard. There are isolated moments of dialogue that come close to sounding like book!Dandelion– mostly in Witcher 2, which comes closer to capturing the spirit of the books than either 1 or 3, or his attempts to convince his captor he's a disguised noble when you rescue him TW3 – but his voice actor is just painfully ill-suited to the role.

Geralt

Geralt fares much better than Dandelion, though he’s still a little hard to square with the Geralt of the books. Book!Geralt spends a lot more time sulking, just to begin with: he sulks because his job is complicated and gets him no respect, and because the world is unjust and unfair – and, most of all, he sulks because Yennefer has dumped him again. He also gets mocked for sulking, and usually deserves it. Book!Geralt is generally a lot more taciturn and a less prone to making smart comments just to have something to say – arguably because in book!Geralt's world, making smart comments often ends at the gallows, or at least with some corrupt official making your life much harder. Book!Geralt's world kind of sucks, and he's just got to put up with it.

As much as he often plays into the expectations of being an uneducated monster hunter, he's also got a more of an intellectual streak than you’d guess. He may prefer to stay out of politics (because damnit, his job is to save people from monsters, not people who are monsters), but he attended school at Nenneke's temple and has even taken classes at Oxenfurt academy, and there's a lot of thoughtful nuance to his opinions – his speech to Ciri about why he can't in good conscience take a stronger stance against the Scoiata'el contains a wealth of historical perspective, just for one example. Even his smart comments tend to be, well, somewhat smarter in the books.

Book!Geralt’s explicitly a lot younger than Yennefer – around 50 is the usual estimate, falling far short of the 100-ish the games suggest (the scandal of having a man fall for – gasp! – an older woman clearly didn’t bother Sapkowski one bit). You don’t see nearly as much "I'm getting too old for this" from book!Geralt, who's really not that old by witcher standards, and is apparently still hunting monsters long into his future. I'm also a little annoyed by the way they play off his hatred of portals like he's a grumpy old man who doesn't like mobile phones, when his distrust originally came from having seen the gruesome deaths that result when portals go wrong. This is not to say Book!Geralt lacks other ordinary human flaws, however – twice in the last two books of the main saga, he gets severely sidetracked after his ego gets the better of him (in the adulation he receives after being knighted, then after arriving in Toussaint), and it's quite some time before he properly gets back on track for that whole rescuing-Ciri thing again. He’s also pretty hopeless when it comes to romance and relationships – breaking things off gracefully is really not in his skillset.

So why does game!Geralt not bother me more? Well, he's the main player character of a game franchise, and one who has to carry the experience largely solo. Some adjustments for genre are pretty much inevitable in that position. He's certainly fared better than Meve, for example, who's been softened far more from her book characterisation for her PC role in Thronebreaker. Then there's the whole amnesia thing – it's easy to believe that sort of experience would change a man – and if he doesn't sulk so much as he used to, maybe he's grown up a bit. Geralt's also in many ways the straight-man of Sapkowski's Witcher universe – there largely as the reliable centre for other, louder personalities to play off. But I expect the real bottom line here is that I do still like game!Geralt enough to forgive him a lot of what he lacks.

The books never do describe Geralt as being very attractive – something book-based fanart often tries to reflect. The point has been made before that the rather-alien-looking Geralt of the first game (left pic above) is probably a lot closer to his book-description. However, the main distinguishing factor you’ll see in book-based fanart is probably the ubiquitous headband, which genuinely is what book!Geralt wears to make his hair behave (the example on the right above comes from Diana Novich).

All that said, if Sapkowski really wants me to believe that nearly so many women are eager to jump into bed with him, I’m going to have to shallowly assume our witnesses are unreliable on this front, and Geralt is at least as attractive as Witcher 3′s take on him. Nothing else makes sense. *g*

Regis

Regis varies mostly in that book!Regis is a lot more smug, sometimes verging on obnoxious – and a lot keener to make fun of Geralt (who generally deserves it). But then, Regis is old and wise and superpowered enough to dance rings around most everyone else – can you blame him? By Blood and Wine, Regis' overconfidence has been recently smacked down hard after his near-death-experience at the hands of Vilgefortz, and that kind of thing could knock some chips off anyone's shoulder. Throw in the fact that with Dettlaff, we have a situation not even Regis could make light of, and the changes to game!Regis make a certain amount of sense.

I do feel it's a bit of a shame that the vocal direction didn't work just a little bit harder to capture some of Regis' smugger side, or emphasise that his long-winded philosophising on human behaviour is supposed to sound a bit pretentious. This is actually something I suspect they were going for a few times in the script, but which didn't come through in the dialogue quite the way it was meant to. Still, again, I'm sure I'm biased by the fact that I like game!Regis far too much to find much fault in what they've done with him. They've done a lovely job capturing his friendship with Geralt too.

Looks-wise, there's a tendency in book-based art to portray Regis with long hair (even some pre-Blood-and-Wine Gwent art did so – see the two pics on the left above, from Gwent and early B&W concepts. The right-most pic is cover art from the books). I couldn't rightly tell you where long-haired-Regis comes from, though – perhaps it's described more explicitly in the original Polish, or perhaps it comes up in passing in some passage I've forgotten, though it may just as well just be a fannish meme.

The books do describe him as looking rather like a tax collector, slim, middle-aged, with an aquiline nose, prone to wearing black, and his hair as 'greying' or 'grey streaked', so presumably somewhat younger-looking than the game would have it. The hammer-horror-esque sideburns are likewise a game-verse addition, though I do like the look they went with – it's distinct from Geralt in a way that making him another long-grey-haired man wouldn't have been, and that's probably the point.

Being the hopeless Regis fan I am, I have quite the folder full of different fanart takes on book!Regis, so have a selection – art here is by gellihana-art, justanor, greysmartwolf, Nastyaskaya, NatalyLanier, beidak, natalliel, ellaine and afternoon63. For what it’s worth, I feel beidak’s (bottom pic, second from the left) comes the closest to what I’d have pictured personally, based on how he’s first described.

Ciri

I find it much harder to rationalise the changes to game!Ciri, who I didn't exactly dislike, but found stuck too close to the role of generic-macguffin-girl-who-just-wants-to-be-normal to be very interesting. Having read the books, not only do I much prefer book!Ciri, I'm not sure I can emphasize enough how much the game did NOT prepare me for utter gauntlet of whump and misery that girl survives in the last four titles. Book!Ciri is a character who works for me mostly because of the same flaws the game mostly strips her free of – TW3 makes some token noise about how you can't tell her what to do, but she’s an utter little royal brat when we first meet book!Ciri, and it’s so much of what brings her to life. She throws herself into her witcher training with the enthusiasm of a kid going completely native, but still revels in getting to be girly for a change when Triss first arrives at Kaer Morhen. She hates Yennefer at first, but soon bonds with her just as strongly as she ever did with Geralt, picking up some of Yennfer’s haughty mannerisms along the way. And then she gets thrown through a portal and lost in the distant wilderness, and the whole world comes down on her head.

The build up to the first time Ciri actually has to kill someone is intense... and things only get worse from there. Steadily. For another couple of novels at a stretch. Seriously, a major caveat that pretty much has to go into any rec for these books (and I will absolutely rec these books) is that Ciri's story gets heavy. So heavy one finds oneself using phrases like, "that time that one guy died of his wounds on top of her while semi-consensually feeling her up was honestly one of the less traumatic incidents in the period."

By the end of the novels, Ciri has nearly died of thirst, been beaten, tied up, dragged around the country as a prisoner, run with bandits and killed innocent people for the fun of it, done fantasy-cocaine and got a tattoo, fought off more than one attempted rape, been drugged, lain for multiple nights next to an impotent elf who completely fails to impregnate her, watched the bodies of her friends and girlfriend being mutilated in front of her, and did I mention where she got that scar? She has survived hell, and it is absolutely a testament to her own strength that she somehow comes through it and puts herself back together at the end. When Geralt finally arrives to rescue her, what matters most isn't that her ordeal is over, but that she finally knows she hasn’t been abandoned by everyone who’d ever loved her after all.

The Ciri of the books is fierce and wild and arrogant, but she's learned her morals from the best, and she holds onto them until she can't, then picks them back up again when she can, and above all she survives. For all that her story turns arguably too much of the last two books into a slog of misery, oh boy does it pay off at the end. And that's probably about as much as I can say about her Big Moment in the last book without spoiling too much, so suffice to say that by the end of the saga, Geralt has pretty much become a supporting character in Ciri's story, not the other way around. (Seriously, you’d be surprised how few chapters of the last two books he’s actually in.)

Finding art which captures the aspects of Ciri’s character and history which are missing from the game has turned out to be pretty hard, though the fanart above from her bandit phase takes a decent crack at it (credit to Loles Romero and NastyaSkaya). I do rather like that one shot of her on horseback beside her girlfriend too, which comes from Denis Gordeev’s illustrations for the novels (below).

How much of this does TW3 get across with her portrayal in the game? Well, she's still pretty headstrong, I guess. And they let you give a 'sorry, I like girls' answer in one bit of dialogue, so they remembered her girlfriend existed. That's nice. But game!Ciri still has a kind of wide-eyed innocence that book!Ciri lost years ago, while book!Ciri is a little force of nature in ways the games hardly even hint at, and that's a really shameful loss.

You'd think, with a character so young, it ought to be easier to imagine she's simply grown up since we saw her last, but so much of what's changed about Ciri feels like a step back rather than forwards. I can shrug off Geralt and Regis' differences and still enjoy their game-verse-selves, but Ciri leaves me genuinely disappointed.

I’d say the official art that comes closest to capturing book!Ciri is that one portrait of her as a very grumpy young child (right above). Some of the early concept art (left above) feels a little more like it has her attitude, though she’s rather too yellow-blonde – not to mention too pretty. I think it also bears pointing out that Ciri isn’t really supposed to be the kind of beauty she is in the game – even before she gets what’s meant to be a seriously ugly and disfiguring scar. (Fanart below by justanor and bobolip)

But of course, the male gamer fanbase can’t be expected to give a fuck about a girl they wouldn’t want to fuck, so game!Ciri must be generically gorgeous. Le sigh.

Triss

I suppose I should at least touch on Triss, too, though she's a very odd case. She's so out of character in the first Witcher game that I am wryly amused that the biggest thing they arguably do get right is that taking advantage of Geralt the moment he showed up with amnesia is... pretty well in-character for her (look, I gotta be honest here, I'm not much of a fan of Triss in any of her incarnations).

The second game does a much better job with her – she actually feels like book!Triss, she has some good dialogue, we're finally dealing with some of her conflicted loyalties to the Lodge and to Geralt – though by the third, her characterisation has been so softened into “the nice one” that none of that potentially meaty conflict is ever resolved, or even really mentioned. Perhaps there's more buried in the Triss-romance path, which I've never bothered with, but the writers seem to have just given up on dealing with anything that might make her look less than wholly sympathetic. Heck, we hardly even get a clear statement about why she and Geralt broke up between Witchers 2 and 3.

Even speaking as such a not-a-fan of Triss, I promise there is more they could've done with the character the books give us. There's her ongoing trauma in from the Battle of Sodden, where she was injured so badly she was memorialised as one the dead: the 14th of the hill. There's her furious impatience with the neutrality of both the witchers and the Lodge: Triss has fought and died for a cause, and is ready to do so again. The second game sort of gets into this, but by and large, the games really aren't up to tackling the moral complexity of having such a theoretically-sympathetic character as Triss, who was still broadly willing to go along with the Lodge's plans to pair Ciri off and get her pregnant as soon as possible – her own wishes be damned. No, instead, Triss has conveniently left the Lodge before the rest of them go spiraling into abject villainy in the second game, clearing all that messy grey stuff out of the conflict.

Of course, the really big unresolved plot point still hanging over book!Triss is how badly she needs to terms with the fact Geralt's just Not That Into Her, and never has been – but since the games want Triss to be a serious romantic option, that's definitely not getting the resolution it could've used.

Book!Triss also pointedly avoids any outfit with a plunging neckline because her chest is covered with the ugly scars she received in the Battle of Sodden, something the games did not have the guts to reproduce. In a more confusing note, the books do consistently describe her hair as 'chestnut', which we'd usually think of as meaning 'brown' – though it turns out the games actually may not have been wrong to make her a redhead, since in Poland 'chestnut hair' apparently mean dark red hair (google some pictures of actual chestnuts, and you'll see why). Still, the firy-red-haired Triss of TW3 who wears nothing but plunging necklines remains a bit of a stretch, however you slice it. Once again, TW2 gets her best (and I must say, gave her the nicest outfit) – though even here she's conspicuously unscarred in all her sex scenes.

(Leftmost pic above is official Witcher 2 art, whereas Triss-with-scars fanart comes to us – once again – from nastyaskaya)

Shani

Shani sort of falls into a similar category as Triss as someone who isn't terribly well-served by any of her appearances, given that both exist in the first game largely to compete for Geralt's attentions. But I can't honestly say I find Shani’s portrayal in the Hearts of Stone expansion to be much better – the degree to which either version exists solely to fall all over Geralt is a bit painful, especially given that their relationship in the books is limited to a single, undramatic hook-up. Book!Shani really only appears in a couple of chapters: we meet her as a medical student friend of Dandelion's, who's been surreptitiously selling pilfered university supplies to fund her degree, then later see her again in the final book, where she proves herself as a battlefield medic during the climactic Battle of Brenna. She's pragmatic to a fault, and I really can't see her as the type who needs Geralt to point out to her that her patient is dead, for example, or who'd subject a guy with Geralt's problems to such an extended feelings-dump as you'll get out of her during the wedding.

Shani is a reasonably logical book-character to bring back, if only because she’s one of those who explicitly survives the ending, but for my money, "serious contender for Geralt's affections" is just not a role she works in.

Anna Henrietta

The duchess of Toussaint, Anna Henrietta, is another case who differs more from her book counterpart than you might think. In the books, the duchess is by far the least competent of the (pleasantly many and) various female leaders and rulers we meet – she comes across as rather young and naive, and every bit as absurd as everyone else in the ridiculous fairy-tale duchy she rules. She is, for example, most displeased to learn that Nilfgaard's war against the north is ongoing (something her courtiers have carefully avoided mentioning in her presence), because she'd long since sent the Emperor a stern note demanding he brought it to an end. She promptly has one of her ministers sent to the tower for misinforming her, and demands the others prepare an even sterner note for the emperor, which will surely do the job.

After Dandelion (inevitably) cheats on her, she has him repeatedly sent to the gallows, only to change her mind and send him a reprieve at the very last minute each time. Picture yourself a much younger and prettier version of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, and you've about got her general vibe.

Blood and Wine sort of waves at this part of her character when she first speaks about Dandelion, and again in suggesting there's a widespread feeling she lacks compassion, and once more as she proves utterly immovable on the subject of her sister. But the generally sensible and insightful woman you deal with for most of the main story is a far cry from her book-verse characterisation. That’s a bit of a shame, because I feel like there's a lot more they could have done to blend the two versions of her. Still, it’s hard to argue the duchess we get suits the story being told around her.

Other characters

Much as I love Yennefer, Dijkstra and Phillipa, I don't really have much more to say about them because I feel the games have done such a good job. The Yennefer of the books gets to show a lot more depth and complexity simply because she has more scenes and more space in which to do so, but when ‘there isn’t more of her’ is your biggest complaint, the game is officially doing pretty well. I could certainly gripe her about how “dresses in black and white” seems to have been taken as “dresses in black with maybe a trace of white trim”, or how Yennefer and Triss seem to be the only sorceresses in the world capable of wearing pants, when Phillipa (just for one) is in sensible men’s clothing the very first time we meet her, but that’s getting into serious nitpicking territory.

(Not that Yen can’t look amazing in outfits with more white – art by Emily Caroll, theclashofqueens, BarbaraRosiak, and cosplay by greatqueenlina)

Vesimir, Lambert and Eskel, Geralt's fellow witchers from the School of the Wolf, fall into a similar category for me – though we spend far less time with them in the books, everything we see of them in the games feels like a fairly logical extension of their book-roles. Vesimir is somewhat over-played as the old fogey, and his death is painfully cliched, but the impact on the characters and Kaer Morhen still hits home – and the games do some especially great work expanding Lambert into a much more complex character. To my mind, the only shame is that more of the book-original characters didn't get the same treatment.

Who have I missed? There's Avallac'h, of course, but I think I've got him pretty well covered by that last post. Zoltan, perhaps inevitably, has had his personality largely flattened into 'generic dwarf', with nothing better to do than hang around Geralt and Dandelion. You wouldn't know Book!Zoltan was apparently incapable of turning away women and children in need, for example – even human women and children with the chronic inability to say thankyou for his help. Or that he eventually admits to Geralt that the luggage he and his friends are carrying comes from a decidedly unsavoury source for such a supposedly charitable, upstanding guy. Yes, even Zoltan gets to be a morally complicated character in the books – who knew?

Speaking of dwarves, pleased as I am that Yarpen Zigren gets remembered in TW2, he's an odd one to talk about, since even in the books, he appears to have had a substantial personality transplant between his two main appearances. Yarpen’s a largely comedic figure in The Bounds of Reason short story, where he cheerfully admits to having considered letting his men knock down a particularly pompous aristocrat and piss all over him to teach him a lesson, but he’s evolved into a studious voice of reason against the scoiata'el by Blood of Elves. TW2 doesn't do a particularly good job of capturing either version, which I suspect probably bothered me more than most people – I liked the later book-incarnation of Yarpen immensely (and not even just because he's one of few ever to really call Triss out on just how much she needs to stop misreading Geralt's friendship as anything more than it is). His chapter in Blood of Elves packs a hell of a punch.

On the subject of accents

I do have to wonder if I'd have warmed up to characters like Triss, Shani and Dandelion (or even Letho) more if they'd only had halfway decent voice actors. It's not just that none are exactly leading the talent at the acting part of the job, it's that their American accents stick out in TW3 like a sore thumb.

Geralt mostly gets away his own US accent by dint of being the very first character we meet, so we've gotten used to the way he talks long before we notice how he stands out – hell, maybe that's just how they talk down in Rivia (hilariously, book!Geralt eventually reveals he's not even from Rivia, but simply picked the place and taught himself the accent so he could feel a bit less like the abandoned foundling he is, which only gives us yet more excuse for why his accent might sound a bit weird). More importantly, Geralt is meant to stand out, to be the outsider wherever he goes, so having him sound like no-one else fits the character.

But neither Triss or Dandelion are "of Rivia", and by the time they show up we've had dozens of hours in a game where literally everyone else sounds British, or Scottish, or Irish, or vaguely-eastern-European in the case of the Nilfgaardians. So why do these weirdos sound like no-one else on the continent?

The short answer seems to be that every character with an American accent in TW3 is someone who had an American accent in at least one of the previous games, which were way looser with their casting and had enough incidental American accents around that they didn't stand out. Clearly, by TW3, consistency with prior games has been prioritised over consistency with literally anything else we’re hearing.

Gaetan is an exception to the rule as the only new character (at least that I caught) with an American accent – presumably because between Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, Berengar, and Letho (and cohorts), some sort of 'witchers have American accents' rule has been pretty well established (another random American-accented witcher shows up in Thronebreaker, just to underline the point). We're going to mostly ignore Jad Karadin here, since his British accent is presumably a recent affectation to go with his new identity, and so makes sense.

This still doesn't really work though, since Letho’s school is all the way down in Nilfgaard (land of the Eastern European accents), while the oldest witcher from Kaer Morhen (Vesimir) is the one guy with a British accent. He sounds nothing like any of his students, despite the fact he's logically the guy they ought to have learned their accents from. So the logic falls in a heap however you slice it, and I'm thrown right out of the game.

With TW3 as your intro to the series, it feels almost as if characters like Triss and Dandelion have been assigned American accents because they're just too important to be saddled with the same pedestrian British accents as everyone else, which did nothing to endear them to me. The only one I eventually warmed up to was Lambert, and then only because he's just such a bitter asshole that he eventually goes full circle and comes out the other side (somewhere around when you've heard his miserable backstory, then gotten drunk together and told him how much you love him, man). Gaetan similarly snuck in under the same clause – American accents clearly work better for me in this series when attached to characters you're supposed to find pretty insufferable on first impressions.

Some final notes

To conclude, it seems only fair to throw in a quick nod to some of the more memorable book-characters who don't appear in the games. Neither Mother Nenneke (Geralt's sort-of-surrogate mother) or Vissena (Geralt's biological mother) ever appear either, alas – Vissena doesn't even merit so much as a Gwent card, which seems quite the wasted opportunity.

Milva, Cahir and Angouleme – the three remaining companions of Geralt’s who died alongside Regis but who were not so easily resurrected – naturally don’t appear. But nor are even really mentioned in all the games, which seems rather less than they deserve after giving their lives to Geralt's cause.

Cahir and Angouleme do at least have pretty badass Gwent cards to their names, though I am properly offended that Milva (who has the dubious honour of being my very favourite book character who doesn't ever appear in the games) is stuck with a card of her freaking death scene – which not only gets the scene wrong (believe me, there was no grimacing and gripping the arrow buried shallowly in her chest for poor Milva), but doesn't even bother to get her hair the right colour, for fuck’s sake. Basically, Milva was a stone cold badass and absolutely deserves better. #justice4milva

One can only guess how I'd have felt about some of these characters had I read the books before playing the games – I am obviously biased towards forgiving changes to characters whom I liked in their game incarnations, regardless of how they compare. Still, I think it does speak wonders that there still all these characters who suddenly made sense only after I'd met them in the books.

Even if only for Dandelion and Ciri, I can only dream of seeing a bit more of the book-original characterisations make it into the collective fannish consciousness. There's nothing wrong with getting into the canon purely based on the show or the games, but having read Sapkowski's novels, it's no longer any mystery how they spawned this massive franchise. That the saga wasn’t even fully available in English until well after Witcher 3 was released – a solid couple of decades late, and long after it had already been translated into Russian, French, German, Spanish and more – is a real shame. For once, it’s us in the anglophone world who’ve been missing out: these books deserve so much more than to be thought of as a footnote to the games or the show.

[gallavictorious]

Outsider POV Gallavich Fic: Captive Look

For a while there this spring, I was mildly obsessed with the CO in 10x03: you know, the good-looking guy who seems so completely unfazed by finding two armed inmates stabbing an old man, and then for whatever reason doesn't report it? (He can't have; Ian's parole wouldn't have happened so soon after something like that.) I also really dig his beard... Anyway, IMDB identifies him as Raymond and I've had this short little piece about him and his interactions with two certain dumbasses sitting almost finished in my draft doc for months and months and months, so... you're welcome? 2882 words, to help pass the time until the new episode!

You can read it below or on AO3.

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It's half past eight on a Thursday when Raymond catches sight of them across the bar at South Side Social. He’s there to celebrate his baby sister’s birthday, familial obligation overriding personal preference, but after an hour of politely chatting with her increasingly wasted college friends over obnoxiously rustic-only-because-it’s-trendy food, he’s ready for a break. Catching Tina’s eye, he mimes lightening a cigarette; she raises an eyebrow at him and smirks. She’s a clever kid, his sister – the first in their family to go to college – and she knows him only too well. Knows, for instance, that he gave up smoking years and years ago.

Offering her a rueful grin, he gets up and gets out and spends the next few minutes breathing in Chicago’s poisonous evening air. It’s December, but unusually warm for the season, and somewhere underneath the dusty stink of exhaust fumes and concrete there’s a faint trace of melting snow.

On the way back to the table Raymond stops at the bar to order another beer, and that’s when he spots them, just three feet away. Two men in their mid-twenties, casually dressed and apparently in the middle of a not-very-serious argument, complete with waving hands and mock-scoffs. It takes a moment for the vague feeling of familiarity to click into actual recognition, and when it's does it's not so much their faces as the way they pause to look at each other.

It's not the sort of look you see a lot, especially not in prison.

So, well, he’ll be damned. It’s Milkovich and Gallagher. Cellmates, lovers, and occasionally a goddamn pain in his ass. Released, as improbable as it sounded, within days of each other less than half a year ago, and now laughing over drinks in a half-way decent restaurant in downtown Chicago. It’s not the sort of place he’d expected to find them in – but then again, there’d been a lot of unexpected things about that pair.

Not them hooking up, necessarily, not once they’d ended up sharing a cell; trading sexual favors for protection (whether voluntarily or not) was common enough. Frowned upon in theory, of course, but in practice –

Well. You didn’t have to like it, but it was what it was. Idealism didn’t survive long at Beckham. Raymond himself had never harbored any grand notions about the redemptive potential of his work, but he’d seen his fair share of fresh-faced new CO:s have their illusions crushed after a week or two caught between the often violent offenders who despised them, the indifferent malice of many seasoned CO:s, and the stifling drudgery of the American penal system in general. Not Raymond, though: he did his job, did it well, and went home and didn't spend waste moment of thought on it. You did what you needed to do to pay the bills; no need to dwell on it.

So no, Gallager getting in bed, quite literally, with Milkovich hadn’t been a surprise. The nature of their relationship, though...

Sure, it wasn’t unheard of for inmates to fall for one another, or for established couples to end up in prison together. Didn’t happen a lot, and actual homosexuality was still more likely to get you beat up than laid, but yeah, it did happen. What, in Raymond’s experience, never happened was having to people look at each other the way Milkovich and Gallagher sometimes did, whenever they thought no one else was watching: there was a kind of wonder to it, both staring at the other like they’ve been handed a goddamn gift and couldn’t quite believe their luck.

Particularly on Milkovich’s face the look was baffling.

Ever since the young man arrived at Beckamn he'd moved down the gray corridors and among the yellow-clad crowds like a man born to it. Raymond supposed he was; his father Terry had spent much of his adult life in the very same prison, as had a great many brothers, cousins and assorted associates. Though Raymond didn't know any details, and didn't really care to know them, he'd bet dollars to donuts that Mickey Milkovich's criminal career had had both an early start and a sense of inevitability to it. Various stints in juvie, followed by a real prison sentence for... attempted murder, wasn't it?... followed by a widely publicized jailbreak and an eventual and far less publicized return to Beckman.

Milkovich was tough enough to make others back down when he had to but smart enough not to start any unnecessary fights, not with the other inmates and not with the ones set to watch over them. Knew how to work the system, too: how to get things in, get things done, which guards could be bribed. Raymond didn't play that game himself, but he wasn't getting paid enough not to turn a blind eye when others do. And Milkovich had been pretty smooth about it, especially since his return; careful not to cause a stir.

Gallagher, on the other hand... He'd been the kind of inmate Raymond would've been seriously worried for, had he been inclined to worry and had Milkovich not been there to watch his back and show him the ropes. Not because Gallagher struck Raymond as even remotely helpless, but he so very obviously did not belong in prison, and so very obviously did not really have a clue about what was what in here. The nastier inmates would have eaten him alive long before he'd had the chance to navigate the intricacies of prison politics and find the friends needed for protection. He'd have ended up someone's bitch, or ended up in the infirmary, or dead.

But he'd ended up with Milkovich, and as unlikely as it had seemed at the time, that had worked out. (There were moments when Raymond wondered about that, wondered about them: apart from the looks, there were little touches, too, casual things that spoke of a familiarity far beyond what they could possibly have developed in their short time in a shared cell.)

That wasn't to say that their relationship had been all rainbows and lollipops, and it sure as hell hadn't been fun for everybody. They’d driven half the cellblock insane sometimes, as well as occasionally one another. Other prisoners had complained about their bickering and their fucking (though never officially complained, because you didn't, not unless you wanted to go looking for your teeth in the shower drain), and Raymond recalled vividly the time when not one but both of them had gotten roped into Chester Russom’s endless quest to spend the rest of his life behind bars –

He'd been passing by the infirmary when he'd heard the screaming and come running. Hadn't been surprised, exactly, to find what he found, but that didn't lessen the urge to smack both Milkovich and Gallagher on the head for being so damned stupid.

Neither of them had seemed particularly concerned about getting caught stabbing another inmate. In fact, they'd fallen over themselves to take the blame, which Raymond might have taken as an unselfish attempt to save the other – if he'd been a complete idiot and if the two of them hadn't been sniping at each other all the way from the infirmary, to the point where he felt like his head would explode.

“Imma murder you two if you don't stop talking,” he said, glaring at them as they sat chained outside the small office. Thankfully, they did stop, looking neither at him nor at each other.

Raymond waited for a moment, deliberating.

“What did Chester promise you?” he eventually asked. Gallagher might have agreed to help the old man out of the goodness of his heart, but Milkovich sure as hell hadn't.

Neither man answered. They were studiously avoiding looking at each other.

“You're not going anywhere until you tell me,” Raymond warned them. “If I have to leave your sorry asses chained to this bench all night that's no skin off my back.”

“We needed a break,” Gallagher offered eventually, reluctantly. Milkovich gave a little snort at that, but – wisely – kept his mouth shut. “So we thought that if one of us got sent to solitary... “ He trailed off, shrugging half-heartedly.

Oh, for the love of God - ! “Why did both of you have to stab him if the goal was to get one of you to solitary?”

Again, there was a protracted silence, and somewhere in it – in their earlier insistence that each of them had been the first to stick the shiv into Chester – Raymond could just about make out the shape of it.

“You are both idiots,” he said, moving to uncuff them from the bench, making a decision. “Come on, let's go.”

“Wait,” Gallagher said, not rising. “You're not reporting us? What about solitary?””

“You don't get a damn reward for stabbing someone, so no, you're not going into solitary, you're going straight back to your cell – where you will hand over all contraband you've hidden there.”

“Now, wait a minute – “ Milkovich began, but he faltered when Raymond fixed him with a hard stare.

Raymond had no illusions about intimidating this particular inmate, but Milkovich really did know how this worked; knew better than to ever be friendly with a guard, not even the ones he bribed – but knew when not to push too.

He had kept their hands cuffed for the walk back to the cell, which was policy, but was him making a point too. While there were extenuating circumstances – primarily the fact that Chester had asked them to stab him – by all rights they should be going down for this, and Raymond wasn’t one hundred percent sure why he wasn't letting them. Save himself the paperwork? Yeah, sure. Why not? As good a reason as any.

“Now, am I going to have to search the cell or will you give it up voluntarily?” he asked once they'd made it to the cell. “You make me look, I won't be too careful with your shit.”

A lot of the guards would be deliberately careless when they tossd a cell, either to prove a point or just for the hell of it. Raymond usually didn't bother with that sort of power trip bullshit, but he was prepared to make an exception if these morons proved stupid enough to give him any more trouble. He was already cutting them considerable slack here, and neither of them have the brains to appreciate it.

They had shared a look, and then Milkovich gave an imperceptible nod. Without a word they set to bring forth an array of cigarettes and foodstuff, little things that would have been commonplace and unremarkable in the real world but was made precious by its scarcity on the inside.

Raymond wasn't naive enough to believe they actually gave him everything they'd got in there, but enough of it to inconvenience them, which would have to do. He grabbed the the items, then fixed them both with a firm look.

“Either of you cause me any more trouble, I'm taking your books,” – he pointed to Gallager, then to Milkovich – “and your pens and paper. You think you have it bad now? Imagine sharing a cell and having nothing else to occupy you.”

He had hoped to God he wouldn't have to make good on his threat, though. The other prisoners would probably riot if they have to put up with more of ´bickering from these two.

“I catch either of you with a shiv again, you'll be fucking sorry,” he continued. “Talk it out, or agree not to talk, or whatever. Split the cell into his and his, I don't give a damn. But sort your shit out.”

Maybe they had, maybe they hadn't; the point became moot just a few weeks later, when Gallagher was released. Milkovich had soon followed him – and how exactly that had happened, Raymond still didn't know, because there was no way in hell anyone actually thought releasing that one back into society was a great move – and that had been that. For now, at least; he fully expected to see Milkovich again. Guy like that wasn't going to quit, and sooner or later he'd get caught and find himself back behind bars. Rinse repeat, until he got himself killed or locked away for good.

Only now here Milkovich is, but in front of a bar rather than behind them, and with Gallagher right by his side, laughing like they'd never stabbed a man just to get away from each other.

Raymond hesitates. There's some small part of him that actually wants to step up and say hello, and that throws him a little. He's got a rule about never getting emotionally invested in the fates of the inmates; that way lies nothing but heartbreak, because most of those who find themselves at Beckman will find themselves there again and again, for longer and longer. Don't abuse the prisoners, but don't care too much either: it's been Raymond's private policy for the past five years, and it's worked out so far.

Except now he's actually considering chatting with a couple of convicts, just 'cause he really is a little bit curious about how this unlikely pair is doing.

But nah. Forget it. His rule aside, it'd be pretty uncool to intrude on their evening out. They're free men now – kind of – and having a CO check up on them can't be high on their list of wants. But before he can move away, they both look his way; sees him. Recognizes him, too, from the way they freeze.

Okay. Call it fate, then. “Hello,” Raymond says, going for neutral good and a little nod; I come in peace.

A beat. Milkovich is eyeing him with a wariness he doesn't bother to conceal and it's Gallagher who speaks first:

“Officer Reese,” he says, managing a polite smile. “Hi.”

Raymond notices the way they glance down at the beers they technically shouldn't be having.

“I'm not your PO,” he assures them. “I don't give a damn if you drink. Might want to take it easy, though,” he can’t help but add. “Getting shitfaced is a quick way to get into trouble.”

Milkovich opens his mouth, but after a quick glare from Gallagher he closes it again. Probably for the best; Raymond can’t imagine him playing even remotely nice now that he doesn’t have to.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt your evening,” he says. “Looks like you’re doing all right.”

“Yeah, yeah, we've got jobs and... “ Gallagher pauses to glance at Milkovich again, as if asking his permission. Milkovich rolls his eyes but says nothing, and Gallagher turns his gaze back to Raymond. There's a real smile on his face now, small, but filled with something akin to disbelieving delight: “We got married. Couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh, wow. Congratulations.” Raymond isn’t quite sure what surprises him more: the fact of their marriage, or the fact that he is genuinely happy for them. Maybe he’s getting soft in his old age… Or maybe it’s just that there’s so very few happy endings for those who find themselves at Beckman, whether as inmates or as guards, that they need to be treasured whenever you find them.

“Ian!” someone calls across the room, and Gallagher turns his head to look at a blonde woman gesturing wildly. “Where are those drinks?”

“Shit,” Gallagher mutters. “Better get this to Tami before she has a fit.”

Another smile, and Gallagher is gone. Milkovich, however, lingers, seemingly debating whether to say something more. Curious against his will, Raymond does his best to look approachable. Evidently, it works, because Milkovich clears his throat:

“You’d reported us when we stabbed that old fucker in the infirmary, Ian wouldn’t have gotten his release.” He pauses, looking uncomfortable, then forces out: “Appreciate it.”

Raymond merely nods. Maybe he should say something about being glad taking a chance on them had paid off, that he is glad to see them doing well – but he’s pretty sure Milkovich wouldn’t much appreciate the sentiment.

“Your boy doesn’t belong in prison,” he says instead.

Milkovich face immediately collapses into a scowl. “Well, I didn't fucking put him there,” he growls.

But Raymond isn’t intimated; just hold his gaze. “Gonna keep him out of trouble then?” Gonna stay out of trouble, he doesn’t ask, but Milkovich isn’t stupid, so he'll hear it all the same.

Milkovich still glares, but something in his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly. “You betcha. Won’t have anything on us ever again,” he promises ambiguously, with a cocky grin and one eyebrow raised.

When he walks away, swagger in every step, he is every bit the unrepentant gangster – but Raymond keeps his eyes on him and sees the way he relaxes as soon as he stops next to Gallagher. Reaches out to touch him lightly on the arm, catching his eye. That same wondering smile on both of their faces.

Raymond thinks that maybe he won't actually see either of them again.

He is glad of it.

[fandomnetworks]

HE’S WEIRD.

PART 1  PART 2

Summary: Your past comes to light and the uncomfortable truth seems to intrigue the DEA agents. 

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: Violence and Cursing

Authors note: A lot more of the reader’s past in this part, I felt like it would be a great foundation for future parts. I promise there will be more Javi interactions in the next. Also if you haven’t read the first two parts I’d highly recommend you do!

Thanks my lovelies. 

Were you fabricating lies straight through your teeth the night your so-called friend left that voicemail? Absolutely, and you hoped Peña did not call you out on your bluff. His quizzing eyes made your stomach hurl inside. Thankfully, he was too tired to be "dealing with you" and stopped asking questions. He headed out of your apartment once you assured him you wouldn't go out again, and if anything happened, you'd call him or Steve.

-----

It had been about two days from the time Peña last visited your apartment. Instead, in his place, Steve would see you at night; he was far nicer than Peña and would even bring you food that Connie made or food he bought for dinner. But tonight, you offered him freshly baked cookies you had spent nearly half of the morning looking for all the ingredients.

Taking a seat at the dinner table, both you and Steve had a coffee mug in your hands. He usually stayed about 10 minutes before leaving, and today was no different. "Javi told me some guy is bothering you?" He said in more of a question than a statement tone.

Something inside you stirred; you felt something but couldn't explain the feeling. Your cheeks became red, as you thought, what else did they talk about you when you weren't around. But you also felt terrible that you were lying to one of the few good people you've met since moving back to Colombia. But you weren't ready; you hadn't collected enough information yet to bring your plan to life and take that motherfucker down.

"Yeah, an old fling that didn't spark back up."

"You know, you should be careful with guys like that," Steve noted, eyeing your facial expressions, taking a sip of his drink.

If it hadn't been for the boost of adrenaline due to the two extra spoonfuls of coffee in your cup, you would have never reacted faster than Steve when your phone went off. His arm was just about to stretch out and pick the phone when your body lunged forward.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Lifting the phone from the receiver, you avoided all eye contact with him. You knew the look he was giving you, and between the man you knew was calling and Steve's attitude, you would have collapsed.

"Hello?"

"Mira, yo se donde vives, no me estes jugando con tus chingaderas." (Look, I know where you live, don't play your shit with me).

"Yes, hi, how are you?" You covered the speaker of the phone and whispered to Steve, "it's one of my college friends."

"How am I? Fucking mad, next time I see you, I'll make sure you pay for this."

"Lovely," A smile appeared on your face, "I'm glad to hear you're doing great. Hey, but listen, I have company; I'll call you back in an hour. Talk to you in a bit."

Even though your heart was beating a thousand times a minute, your facial expressions remained free. You tried comprehending that he said he knew where you lived. He, of course, could be bluffing and lying; it wouldn't be the first time. This only infuriated you and made you want to catch him so much more. He couldn't hold your life, your emotions for the rest of your life. But if you did nothing to stop him, he would continue to torture you and the rest of Colombia.

It wasn't much longer until Steve departed, telling you that Connie was probably wondering where he was.

---

Before your brother became president and before you had left for New York, your family was already in the spotlight. Your mom was a well-known doctor, and your dad was in politics himself. That meant people of high society always surrounded you. In one of the many parties hosted by your parents, you met a man named Santiago Matias.

At first, he was the kind of man to open doors for you, call you love names, buy you gifts, and take you out to eat often. His personality and his charm won you over. After a few weeks, you soon found him on one knee proposing to you.

The first red flag you should have noticed and ran in the opposite direction was how mysterious and quiet he was about his life. All you knew was that he was the child of one of your dad's close friend group.

You never thought that the ounce of cocaine in his pockets was just a sample he was giving out to people. He was a drug dealer.

If you had known the truth and the extent of his dealings, you would have never been associated with him. You would have never accepted his gifts and gestures if you knew the refined gifts of luxury were bought with narco money. You would have never fallen asleep in his arms and let his hands roam your body if you had known those hands had been used to take life. And you would have never kissed his lips knowing that his commands caused the death of dozens.

You took off the nearly $5,000 engagement ring and threw it at his face when you confronted him of his "work." You told him you never wanted to see him again, and you hoped he rotted in hell.

Now, you were out for revenge. You felt disgusted that you were once associated with him and needed to bring justice to all the people he ever harmed. When you were 17, the only thing you knew was that you wanted to be as far away as you could from him and that type of lifestyle. But after all these years, you were out for blood, and there was no stopping you.

He had connections to Pablo Escobar; if you could bring Santiago down, maybe just maybe you could bring a piece of information to the table and help bring Escobar down too. Santiago was a chesspiece to Escobar's game, and you were ready to destroy their empire and slaughter the world they created.

You might be "just the president's sister," the damsel in distress, but you had your own demons too.

---

The night was coming to an end, and the clock on your wall read 9:48 p.m. The phone rang for a total of 4 times, and you were sure he wasn't going to pick up; yet, the deep voice of your ex-fiancé sounded through the speaker.

The call only lasted 20 seconds. He only got in a hello before you responded, "6 p.m., you only no one else, at Chonche's." And you hung up before he could answer.

You would get as much information as you could from him at Chonche's restaurant. Once you were close to him, you'd bring him down.

6 p.m. would give you just enough time to meet up with him, extract as much as you could and be back home before Steve's regular visit at 8.

Easy right?

---

Wrong.

According to the leather watch on your left wrist, it was 5:58 p.m. as you entered the restaurant. The knife on your waist dug into your skin every time you took a step. It was a good reminder that you had it in case you needed it. You had tried covering your face and image by covering your body with black clothes and a dark baseball cap. The restaurant wasn't particularly a family-friendly one. Now that you thought about it, you had never seen a single child walk in here, especially not voluntarily.

In fact, every, every person in the restaurant, which was only about five people, including the bartender, was a drug dealer, narco, or a murderer. You laid your head low as you took a seat on a worn-out leather stool at the bar, far away from the men sitting at the back of the room.

Your heartbeat could be heard in your ear, the sweat accumulating around your forehead wasn't going unnoticed by the fabric of your cap. Why wasn't Santiago here? He was always on time, never a second early or late. Something was wrong. Did he set up a trap? Was this a mistake? Was he even coming?

The bartender came up and asked what drink he could get you, and you ordered your favorite beverage. Your leg began to bounce due to the anxiety you started to feel in your chest. Looking down at your watch, it read 6:02.

The front door swung wide open, the face of your ex-lover was nowhere, instead in his place was fucking Javier Peña. Quickly ducking your head, you were surprised it didn't snap.

Had he seen you? Your cheeks turned a light shade of red as the bartender walked up and handed you the alcoholic drink.

Looking back at the entrance where Peña once stood, a sigh of relief escaped your lips; he hadn't seen you.

But then you began to think. Why was Peña in a place like this? Was he a narco? Was his DEA position just a stunt? Was Peña a Santiago? Of course, he was; you only found dangerous men attractive. Your hindsight was absolute trash. Maybe he grabbed the drugs he collected during raids and resold the-

"What are you doing here?" Peña's voice whispered in your left ear as you turned the stool to look at him.

"Are you one of them?" You asked, hoping to hear the correct answer and not the one you were dreading.

"What? No. Have you been following me?" Solely by him towering over you, he started to get some stares from the men across the room.

"I should ask you the same question. I was here before you." You took a sip of your drink, trying to remain calm. If Santiago found you with a DEA agent, he would think you were setting him up and would leave.

Instead of taking a seat next to you, Peña placed a steel grip on your bicep, "Answer my question."

"Would you at least take a seat so they can stop looking at us?"

"No, we're leaving." He pulled you up from the stool.

"Let go of me."

Without answering you, he pushed you out of the restaurant. You let him. There was something wrong due to the lack of your ex's appearance.

Once outside, the two of you walked a few meters away from the restaurant; he pulled you to the side, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and asked, "What were you doing in there."

"I was meeting someone."

"Who?" he was clearly upset by the way he corned you against the wall, his face nearly inches away from yours. He was so close; you could smell the lingering scent of his cigarette fumes, the cologne on his neck, and could see the fine lines that made up his lips.

"San-"

The sound of a loud explosion to the left of you ended with the tear of tissue in your eardrum, making you lose most of your hearing. A fire came blazing from Chonche's windows. The glass from the windows shattered around the ground you had just walked on a few seconds ago. The windows of the businesses around the restaurant broke as well.

Peña instantly launched at you; he used himself as a shield to protect you from danger. The gun that was once inside the worn-out holster was now in his hands as he pointed it at anything that caught his attention.

The sounds of car anti-theft went off; sirens were blaring as paramedics and police officers began to make their way. The sound of wood burning tickled your ears, the crackle in any other situation would be soothing, but right now, it made Peña hyperaware of all the danger around you. In contrast, you could barely hear anything. Everything around you was going in slow motion except for Peña's lips when he turned to look at you. His lips were moving, but you heard jack squat. The way his mouth was opening wide with every word he said and his eyebrows knitting towards each other, you could conclude he was for sure yelling.

You nodded, not knowing what else to say or do.

Which only made him more enraged.

He pulled you out of immediate danger, his hands holding on to you as he pushed you towards his car. He was silent. And you were in no bit surprised. With the amount of adrenaline running through your system, the only thing going through your mind was how to breathe normally again and how to get your hearing back. His main priority was to get you inside his car and make sure no one was following.

Once inside, you asked, "Where are we going?"

He glanced at you quickly before looking back at the road, "Good, you can hear now. Who were you suppose to see?"

"Santiago Matias," You looked at him for a reaction but were somewhat surprised his face remained emotionless. "He's my ex-fiancé."

The worn-out, bruised knuckles on his hands turned white as the grip on the steering wheel became stronger. "You were engaged to him?" Now, the face of disgust was plastered on his tanned face. His words were said through gritted teeth. If you hadn't been paying close attention to his words, you wouldn't have heard him.

"I didn't know what he did when I first met him." You were about to tell Javier Peña about some of the worst times in your life, and you were afraid. You explained how you met, how he manipulated you after the honeymoon phase. What did you know about life at the age of 17? He was nearing 28 when you met him, and he used your naiveness against you. He was just starting his killer life, and as soon as you found out about his "work," you broke things off.

One day while you were walking around a local market buying some groceries, you reached to a vendor's stand. You went to pick up a couple of apples when the elderly lady working the stand caught your forearm. She lifted your wrist to her eyes and began to yell. She claimed that the bracelet you had belonged to her deceased daughter. You were immediately telling her that the bracelet was given to you for your six-month anniversary. She disagreed, pulling an old folded picture from her pocket. It had her daughter with the exact bracelet, down to the customized stones. She asked you to take it off, and you'd find the name Amalia engraved inside of it.

Your face became red; you knew that the name was on it. Of course, you did; you bragged about it to your friends. It was one of the most beautiful bracelets you'd seen. The word Amalia, you had assumed was a brand name. Never had it crossed your mind that it was a personal touch for a girl.

Santiago was known to give you gifts at all times of the week. He seemed like the kind of guy your dad would be proud of. Little did you know that as the elderly lady spoke about your fiancé, your relationship would soon begin to fall apart like a game of Jenga. Never in your worst nightmares did it ever cross your mind that the gifts he got you was bought with narco money or collected from deceased bodies. The woman told you that Santiago Matias had killed her family, including her 3-month-old grandson. The only reason that she was saved was because one of Matias' men knew her personally.

There and then, you took off the bracelet and handed it to the rightful owner. You didn't know what to say or do. Due to the man you were in love with, her whole family was gone. How many other families had he ruined? That very day, you broke off the wedding and told him you wished him a slow death. That you never wanted to see him again, and if he ever came near you again, you'd kill him yourself.

You left to get your bachelor's that very fall and seemed determined never to come back. However, as the short four years passed, and as you began to study to enter a masters program, you were pulled back home. The threat against your brother made him weary, and he wanted you close to home where he could protect you. That's how you ended up trading your comfy apartment with the hot neighbor to Colombia's small apartment. Thankfully the only thing that didn't change was the hot neighbor part.

Once you had finished explaining that time in your life, Peña made eye contact with you as the car came to a stop due to the traffic, "Why didn't you do anything?" The mood in the car shifted from frustration to confusion.

That was your worst regret of your entire life. Maybe if you had stopped him back then, he wouldn't have an empire today with the world's most famous narco. You felt uncomfortable under his harsh and intense gaze. The right words seemed to escape your lips as you tried forming the correct sentence. "I...I don't know. I didn't want to think that the man I was willing to marry could do such a thing."

You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him, and took a deep breath. You had never told anyone the real story behind your first and probably only fiancé you'll ever have. Turning your head towards the window, you opened your eyes and looked at the passing cars as traffic began to lighten up. The only way you thought you could make things up was by bringing him down.

And apparently, Peña thought the same way, "Well, I don't know what to tell you Y/n." The car began to move, and so did the wheels of his brain as he began to plan out a solution.

"Listen," You turned to look at him, "I've been trying to set up a meeting with him for a while now. Today obviously didn't go as well as I had planned. But I'll try again. I can set up another meeting. It's the least I can do, right?"

He pulled into the base where Steve and Carrillo were, setting things up for tomorrow. Peña looked at you with a look of 'are-you-stupid.' "No what? He just tried killing you." He pulled into a parking spot.

"Exactly-" Both of you got out of the vehicle, walked towards the building; his long stride compared to yours made you trail behind him. "I-we can use that and-"

"No." He cut you off, just as Carrillo and Steve walked out of the building. You looked down at your watch; it read 7:02.

"Hey, where have you been?" Steve questioned Peña, quickly saying hi to you before pulling Peña to the side and updating him on the movement of their operation.

When Carrillo approached you, out of instinct, you gave him a quick hug. It had been a while since you had seen the handsome Colonel, and you did miss his snarky remarks. At first, he was tense but soon loosened up to your touch and hugged you back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Peña staring at your interactions with Carrillo.

Small talk emerged. You asked him how he'd been and asked about the two soldiers who had stayed by your side all those weeks. In return, he asked if you were readjusting to the climate of Colombia. You also admitted you had missed him and invited him over to your apartment. (A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do)

But before he could ask you the purpose of your visit, you told him you had information about Santiago Matias. Which he instantly became intrigued. Once the Colonel caught on to Peña's lingering eyes, he asked you, "What's his problem?" The two of you fully turned to peer at him. Javier quickly glanced at Steve, pretending y'all hadn't caught him.

Brushing it off, you said, "I don't know, he's weird." A chuckle came out of Carrillo. He signaled for both men to follow him as the four of you made it inside the base.

---

Inside, you and Steve took a seat at a large table in Horacio's office, while he and Peña stood in front of you.

Quickly telling them the truth about your relationship with Santiago, you told them everything Peña had just heard and the explosion at the restaurant. In a heartbeat, you were getting a stern look from Carrillo and Steve telling you how stupid your plan was, asking you what the hell were you thinking.

"So what Peña and I were thinking was, I could bait him out by meeting up with him again."

"I didn-"

"What?" Steve yelled, looking at you and then at Peña, giving him a look of, are-you-serious.

"I did not agree to that," Peña stated, taking a seat on the table next to Steve. "We can use Y/n to..."

.

.

Fast forward an hour, countless coffee and whiskey refills, papers skewed around the table, and on the bulletin board, you had a phone to your ear. This time the room was full of soldiers and some higher uppers, which did not help your nerves. Carrillo, Murphy, and Peña sat around you, urgently and stressful waiting for Santiago to pick up.

After the second ring, you could hear your heart pounding in your ears. It felt so odd that the man you were willing to marry all those years back, now made you afraid.

Just as the third ring sounded through your ears, he picked up.

You motioned for Peña to start recording.

"Hello?"

"I'm alive, mi amor."

TAG  LIST:

(Let me know if you want to be added!)

luvzoria smoke-and-sunset xletmetaste-yoursmilex youcancallmeaphrodite

Also sorry for any typos I’ve been editing and revising this for the past week and I have like 3 other versions of how this could have played out. ALSO I really want to incorporate a jealous Javi in the next chapter. 

Again, thanks lovelies for taking a moment to read! 

[meggannn]

shepard/garrus?

oh boy, sorry for the late response! I always end up posting these things and then going to read/take a nap/play a game or something. anyway writing this up took two hours, i hope it is even slightly interesting to read. cut because this is looooooong

What made you ship it?

I think I was interested in this ship before I even played ME. I was just like “I know Shepard is a character and an alien named Garrus is a character, and people draw porn of them together.” because I think it’s reasonable to say it’s one of, if not the most, popular ship in the fandom, or at least in ME’s tumblr fandom? and the way people talked about it, I knew their tropes were #banter, #battle couple, #partnerships, and... and as we’ve learned from royai, I am a bit weak to those tropes (assuming I like both of the characters). the way people talked about them also from a “best friends” angle—which is sort of forced in-game in a way that seems strange to me now—was also a plus in its favor at the time. (if they get together, I do see their friendship/companionship, in whatever form, in some ways integral to their romance—unless you’re playing full far-right renegade who’s like a xenophobe and hate-fucking Garrus, I guess?—but Bioware also kind of shoehorned Garrus into that best-friend role and that’s a topic for another day.)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

(my friend will hit me if I say “partnerships” again) I’m gonna talk about the way I play my Shepard now, because so much is dependent on the unique Shepard. for Lydia’s journey over the series, I see a large part of her journey as basically a study of her (often self-inflicted) loneliness. and she never entirely breaks her habits of self-isolation, but the events of the series force her to be vulnerable in a way she would prefer not to be in front of a crew, or, y’know, ever. Garrus becomes an integral part of that story to help her break her out of these bad habits (all of the crew does, particularly also Ashley for my Shep), but to my eyes, the story of “Shepard and Garrus’s relationship” is also one of mutual respect, burden-sharing, and sanity and morality checks.

I don’t think of their “mentor” relationship in ME1 very often mostly because I don’t think it was done particularly well, but for all its faults, I do like how naturally the jump from “subordinate” in ME1 to “ally” in ME2 felt; once you meet Garrus on Omega you feel more on the same footing as two friends greeting each other because you’ve both recently been through trauma and the sight of a friendly face in a station full of hostiles is so unexpectedly welcome that it lets them both hope things will be okay for a minute. starting from that moment, Garrus becomes one of the few people who can see “under” her mask, I guess: partly because he’s one of the few combatants from the SR-1 who knows Shepard well and sees who she is both on the field and onboard the SR-2, with the ability to compare both to the times of “before you died”; partly because he has trauma response training and recognizes it in others even if he doesn’t in himself; partly because his loyal personality makes him sensitive to wonder how she’s dealing with being resurrected; and also partly because they’ve both gone through similar things. namely, getting your squad killed and blaming yourself for it, and it possibly being your fault (BioWare is inconsistent on what Shepard’s role was on Akuze, but in ME1 she has the chance to reply that she was responsible for getting them out safely, and failed).

necessity forces Shepard to adapt to things like being effectively forced to work for terrorists; being isolated from her support system; being resurrected and feeling like a stranger in her own body; later, getting decommissioned for making an incredibly difficult call to save the galaxy; watching your homeworld burn; being forced into a political role negotiating high stakes you don’t know how to play; being told you’re the spearhead of a galactic war; doing all of this without a full crew complement; the list goes on. those are all, on their own, incredibly isolating, traumatic experiences, and my Shepard’s not emotionally sane at the best of times. (emotionally stable, perhaps, only in the most literal of terms, at least on the surface. she’s like a rock when shit hits the fan. emotionally sane, no, for that reason and more.)

the tables have turned, and Garrus ends up becoming a large part of helping her regain agency in most if not all of those things: in ME2 he was a former crew member she trusted, and he was eager to work for her and be distracted from his failures on Omega. over in the battery, he is himself recovering from a major injury (like Shepard) and going through the aftermath of a bloodbath he feels responsible for (like Shepard), working on a crew that holds him at arm’s length, that he also... arguably... didn’t have much choice in joining (like Shepard—I’m assuming he wasn’t held hostage and joined voluntarily after waking up, but lbr this is unconfirmed). their reasons are different and varied, but they don’t realize until much later that they have found each other at the most opportune time, providing a sense of stability for each other, and also, frankly, sanity and morality checks.

in ME3, he steps into this role more fully because he’s become more disciplined, is doing work firmly in his wheelhouse, and paired up against Shepard struggling with their positions somewhat reversed from ME1: him more confident and her now completely out of her element, floundering with her place on a galactic scale. without Garrus—and Chakwas, and Joker, and Tali, and later the loyalty of the entire SR-2—the story of ME would be a tragedy, and it would end shortly in ME2; it’d be the story of how my Shepard slowly went insane being forced to fight boogeymen under a terrorist banner. Garrus isn’t, like, the keeper of her sanity, but their ability to check each other, and see themselves in the eyes of each other, provides stability and occasionally a bit of a wake-up call to both of them. when they’re both vulnerable, they both feel most seen, and most understood, by an alien that listens.

one angle of this ship that highly interests me at the moment, along with the above, is that while it’s not illegal for them to be together, it’s still... a really bad fucking idea lmao. (I could make the argument that it’s a bad idea for Shepard to be in any relationship with their crew but I think there are a few ships—Garrus, Tali, any Alliance crew at all—that realistically would be huge political clusterfucks.) so overcoming personal insecurity and fear of the unknown to acknowledge interest in each other, and the desire to become an item, getting roadblocked by a reality wake-up call with the fact that 1) she’s his boss, 2) Garrus comes from a society where station matters, like, sort of a lot and it even determines your job and how much legal power you have, 3) the potential political blowback (which would be ENORMOUS because lbr the hierarchy may not care about what turians do in off-hours but they WOULD care about the superior/subordinate thing, the human thing, the fact that they’re doing this while a war is going on. basically one of their best agents is on the Normandy to negotiate their interests and they’re basically at the whims of their relationship the whole time)... it’s a lot! all of that sort of makes it tragic, but I’m curious to see how they’d overcome it.

anyway, all of that is where I’m coming from when I think or write about this ship, but there’s a lot more I’m not mentioning here. there are a lot of juxtapositions that in my head that I’ve either added or extrapolated from canon that also interest me about this pairing. Garrus is a former cop, as is his father; Lydia is a poor kid who used to be in a gang out of necessity. Garrus is a turian with often traditionalist thinking; Shepard is a human who has much less sociopolitical power than him, even if she is his superior on the Normandy. both of them are roughly as old as the First Contact War, when their people were at each other’s throats not thirty years ago. Garrus idolizes Spectrehood while Lydia hates it, feeling it was forced on her. they can’t eat the same food. and yet despite all of that, and the fact that they need translators to communicate, they manage to understand each other when a lot of the world around them doesn’t.

god this is not even the full list of it. anyway I could go on but I’ll stop there lol.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

oh jesus, so much. I’m a grouchy and picky shipper, be warned.

pining can always make my ships more interesting, and imo it’s a consistent part of any ship of Shepard’s, considering it’s wildly inappropriate and unprofessional for her to be fucking any subordinate, so I think more consideration could be given to shakarian in the “we shouldn’t be having a thing and oh also you’re an alien and I’m kind of scared of both your government and your body” angle! I hope to explore that a bit with a fic I’m writing (if I ever finish it, god).

I hate the flavor of fandom!shakarian where Shepard romanced Kaidan in ME1 then felt “betrayed” when he’s confused and hurt on Horizon, so she gets with Garrus as like... revenge? idk. and then Garrus usually develops this bias against Kaidan as a sort of author mouthpiece (which is inconsistent with his characterization cause Garrus is nothing but pleased to have Kaidan back on the SR-2 in ME3!) and takes up the anti-Kaidan crusade cause K ~questioned the commander~ (since when does Garrus fall over himself defending a superior from criticism?) like, idk. I think Garrus can be sensitive to the fact that that reuniting must’ve been painful for Shepard, but also be aware that it was also really painful for Kaidan because all of Kaidan’s complicated feelings about Shepard’s resurrection were, realistically, things Garrus should’ve felt too! this trope is very popular but just feels like manufactured drama for drama’s sake, idk, I’m also not big on love triangles so. I would much rather people just rescue Ashley on Virmire and avoid the whole thing rather than have previously-romanced Kaidan around in ME3 for the sole purpose of forcing him to watch Shepard/Garrus being happy together tbh.

I think full goody-goody paragon Shepard is too preachy to make a good partner for Garrus and full shoot-anyone-in-my-way renegade Shepard encourages and emboldens his worst tendencies (and Castis Vakarian is right to disapprove of them). most people end up playing some combination of both, or if they do settle in one camp or the other, usually there is some sense of realism where Shepard doesn’t play nice/naive or play mean all the time, so it’s rare I see either of those kinds of extreme Shepards depicted, but in general if there is a Shepard that is so far in one direction it seems illogical to me that they ever stay together.

I think wanting a mShep romance for Garrus is a pretty welcome idea in fandom, but adding onto that, I think Garrus should’ve been romanceable in ME3 for players who changed their minds on other romances or want to play slow-burn romances! we had it for Kaidan—and should’ve had it for Ash—so (pounds fist on desk) Garrus too imo!

I hate the canon get-together because Shepard walking into the battery and asking “do you want to fuck” feels very tailored to the players who want to romance Garrus, not to who Commander Shepard is, imo. it lacked all of the subtlety and depth of some other romances—until the scene of Garrus coming to her cabin with a wine bottle, at least, cause I do like that scene, but anyway, I dislike the actual get-together.

just in general, I’m a stick in the mud, so my favorite iteration of this ship is where Shepard is resolutely professional, and the challenge of it becomes him getting her to open up, not the other way around. like, I think on some level every iteration of Shepard is a bit of a lunatic/eccentric, because you have to be to do the things they do, but I like to see their flirting with less of her calling him “big guy” (not sure where that came from, is that in canon? I must’ve missed it, but personally I don’t like it) and more of Garrus making wisecracks in the canteen while he’s talking to Joker, but he’s looking at her out of the corner of his eyes and he really said his joke with the aim of making her laugh, and as she’s reading her datapad she hears him, and even when she wants to chuckle she stops himself and just smirks cause she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a laugh, but he sees her lips twitch and feels his heart flutter. that. I want more of that.

oh lastly, I hate “Shepard takes Vakarian clan markings” in any iteration. there is no canon relation to turians being poc—in fact I’d argue they have sociopolitical privilege real-world bipoc do not—but the concept of social face markings, face tattoos, etc., is rooted in non-white cultures and with the fact that 1) turians had a literal civil war over the territories those markings represent, 2) we don’t even know if marriage is how markings are shared or if non-turians are ever invited to wear them in the first place, 3) most of the art of this trend, lbr, is of mostly white Shepards in wedding dresses and blue face paint... all that combined just makes me frown and scroll faster every time I see it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bipoc Shepard with Vakarian face markings in fic/art, and that to me is very telling (not because they should have them, but because bipoc fans who make bipoc Shepards usually recognize when a racially-coded trope is uhhhhh not so great to appropriate for someone not of that group).

[absolutebl]

Poignancy in BL

I picked some of my favorite moments of poignancy in BL, and attempted to explain why I chose image & scene. Some of these are unique to the couple and some of them are favorite executions of classic tropes. 

Dark Blue Kiss, Kao’s anniversary gift to Pete. It’s a visually stunning moment in the series, but also an opportunity for the narrative to highlight how much history these two have together. 

One of my favorite things about this couple is that they have an LTR, and it really seems like they do. They are rarely cheesy with each other in that new love kind of way, instead their affection runs deep and this was Kao’s opportunity to show that. 

Similarly, I loved this moment in Dark Blue Kiss because it’s Pete showing vulnerability. He’s usually so cocky. He’s clearly proud of Kao and wants to be open about their relationship partly because he wants to brag about Kao to others. In this scene we see that what Pete loves most about Kao is Kao’s kindness. In this scene, Pete needs Kao to look after him and Kao steps up to support his partner in this lovely joking way.  

2gether can get a bit campy for me, but this scene was the first lovely moment of quiet stillness we got from these two. It’s the first time Tine allows real physical intimacy from Wat, and relaxes enough to sport a genuine smile around him. 

The way Wat looks at Tine is just so yearning in this sea of white shirts at a college concert. It’s very reminiscent of the actual college experience. 

This image from Ae and Pete in Love By Chance represents their relationship perfectly. The vulnerability that they are both showing to each other, the way Ae’s hand curls around Pete’s head cradling it, contrasted to the way Pete is clinging to Ae’s shirt. 

One of the reasons I love this couple so much is that they are both so flawed and really only meant for each other. Pete’s extreme timidity, shyness, and excessive politeness would drive most men crazy. Ae’s near pathological need to care for someone would do the same. Yet they found their perfect person in each other. 

This image is the visual representation of what they are to each other. 

Noh, in Love Sick, rarely allows himself to express his feelings for Phun in any overt manner, publicly or privately. It’s only at times like this, when Phun is sick or asleep, that we get to see how much Noh really does adore him. In this case, also how much Noh worries about Phun. 

Similarly this image is also a great moment for this couple. What you don’t get if you haven’t seen Love Sick is that this is basically their peer coming out moment. Phun wants to be out and has been behaving like a high-handed jealous little shizz for the first half of this camping trip. Noh is dealing with the fact that, basically, two of his exes are also on this trip plus, you know, trying not to out himself. 

In this moment Noh has voluntarily taken Phun’s hand, and then leaned on his shoulder, in front of their classmates. It’s a tacit admission of a relationship and Phun has this little smile of “yes, he’s mine” but also “yes, I win” on his face. 

The endless cycle of hot and cold that is Make It Right can be very draining for some viewers. I hold on for those moments when Tee pines. He so very good at pining. This image represents the moment Tee admits that Fuse is special to him, which is also the moments he’s admitting to himself he’s fallen in love. It’s setting Tee up to endure heartache, because hope is all he’s going to get for a long while. Tee is smart and patient, but this is the scene when he realizes he is willing to suffer the endless heartbreak of knowing that while Fuse loves him back, he still may never allow them to be together.

Rome telling Pick, in a truly admiring tone of voice, what an arsehat he is, and Pick’s self-satisfied smile at the compliment. Puppy Honey is okay as a series, nothing particularly special, except the relationship between these two. 

Rome is totally self-actualized as a subby gay boy (rare in Thai BL). He knows what he wants and will go after it. He also realizes what he likes about Pick is his prickishness. So the very thing that make Pick so prickly and difficult to deal with, and reluctant to come out or act on/talk about his feelings, is exactly what Rome loves about him. 

This conversation near the end of the series highlights their dynamic. 

When Pick finally does crumble for Rome it’s beautifully significant, and we (like Rome) don’t really care that Pick will likely never confess his feelings again. Because we can all now see exactly how much he adores Rome in each sarcastic gesture or bickering complaint. And Rome loves him for it. 

The first time Arthit comes out publicly in SOTUS. This is one of my favorite scenes because he does it both proudly and with total embarrassment. Poor Kong is so stunned and delighted. 

One of the things i love about SOTUS is the way Kong takes all the emotional risk, saying I love you, talking about his feelings, asking Arthit to date him, etc.. While Arthit takes all the physical risks (first kiss, throwing arm around Kong’s shoulders in front fo friends, piggyback, bicycle ride, that kind of thing). 

This above image highlights that dynamic. 

I could pick a ton from Until We Meet Again since it’s my favorite. But I limited myself to two. This image because it sets up Dean and Pharm’s conflict: How do they separate their past sorrows from their present day need to love each other? 

Fluke is so good in this scene, the way his hand shakes as he reaches to touch Dean - he shows so much yearning and so much fear at the same time. 

Dean is the ultimate in reserved seme, strict and severe and soft only for Pharm. While Pharm is the ultimate shy caring loving uke. Most of the time, therefore, Dean fulfills a strong tough guardian role. I chose this image because it’s one of the first couple scenes in which we see Dean physically and emotionally vulnerable and totally relaxed. The two of them are depicted in this quite perfect moment together where they are comfortable and kind to each other. 

Okay, that’s enough of the serious stuff for now.

[royriza]

Royai Horoscope

A Roy and Riza Character and Relationship Analysis based on their Zodiac signs

Image Source: Fullmetal Alchemist Playing Cards

Disclaimer: I am not suggesting horoscopes are scientific means of analyzing personality nor that it is accurate. This is just for fun!

Roy Mustang

Birthday: 06/01/1885 (on basis of Roy’s Day and his actual birthyear)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini - the Twins

Element Sign: Air

We may think he’s more suited in being a Fire sign, but if you take a closer look with how Roy creates fire, it all makes sense. Hiromu Arakawa shares in one omake that Roy creates fire by controlling the amount of oxygen in the air. I believe Flame Alchemy is based on the concept of control. We only notice the times Roy has lost control, but we fail to appreciate all the times he maintainted it. He’s not what he seems from the surface, and this is why we think he’s always not what he appears on the surface. Which leads us too conclude that he may appear two-faced.

Traits:

two-faced - like most Geminis, Roy tends to have a reputation of being two-faced. His personality depends on how others treat him, and how he views them. He loves to stir rumors and gossips, creating an impression that is completely different from who he actually is (E14, FMAB) (I’m making a more in-depth character analysis about this, but one that is based on psychology)

(this is a long post, so if you want to keep reading, be my guest!)

social chameleon - being the life of the party, Roy knows how to socialize with different types of people. He can easily read the room and know exactly what other people want to hear from him, as with most Geminis. This makes him extremely popular among townsfolk and political leaders.

social chameleon - being the life of the party, Roy knows how to socialize with different types of people. He can easily read the room and know exactly what other people want to hear from him, as with most Geminis. This makes him extremely popular among townsfolk and political leaders.

flirtatious - and of course, Roy is popular with women, as stated by Team Mustang (FMA 03, E37). He’s naturally flirtatious, whether he does it on purpose or not. Like most Geminis, Roy jumps from one date to another. But we see him go to dates to collect information before tackling a conflict, another trait of Geminis. He asks Olivier for dinner as a disguise to relay information and planning (FMAB, E42-46 im not sure which one). Again, every action he does isn’t what it appears on the surface. And of course, he deliberately makes people believe he’s a womanizer. He shares his reason for being Führer was to let female officers wear miniskirts (FMA 03, E13), but later on we see it’s because he wanted to protect people (FMAB, E10). This leads us too concluding that he’s...

intelligent - most Geminis don’t appear to be smart at first, but when taken a closer look, they’re rather cunning and have remarkable wit. As seen with how he strategizes plans, Roy’s intellect is unquestionable. He even competes with Maes Hughes during their military academy days (FMAB Special E04). Aside from that, he is also emotionally intelligent, as in most Geminis. In another iconic scene, Roy immediately knows something is wrong upon talking to Riza on the phone (FMAB, E38)

optimistic - in general, Geminis are the kind of people who look forward to the future rather than attempting to change the past. Roy is actually optimistic. We never see him falter or mope around, he’s always the one who says “we can do better next time.” He tells Ed to stand up and have a chance on getting their bodies back rather than sulk about what had happened (FMAB, E2).

impulsive - due to Gemini’s adaptability and versatility, they never stay in one place. We see Roy move from one date to another and procrastinate on paperwork (FMA 03, E37). Riza frequently tells him not to be reckless, (FMAB E01, E05 - encounter with Scar, E19 - coming to the scene). When Roy had offered her flowers, he reasoned that he got “too drunk” and ended up buying a carload of flowers (FMAB, E38). Another one of his two-facedness. Although it was an excuse, Riza paid no attention to it. Maybe because she was that used to his impulsiveness lololololol. But we see this trait heighten when he was consumed with anger and vengeance on Envy (E53-54).

Riza Hawkeye

Birthday: 09/01/ 1887-1889 (based on Riza’s day and age range)

Zodiac Sign: Virgo - The Virgin

Element Sign: Earth

Earth signs are always grounded. We see how Riza always keeps her calm in situations (except when she thought Roy died lol). It’s no wonder how she holds Team Mustang together and keeps their sanity. Sometimes I wonder how she puts up with them lol.

Traits:

perfectionist - like in most Virgos, we see Riza always striving for the best. This is most evident in her specialty: accurate gunshots. When a military officer complimented her for striking the bull’s eye in the firing range, she told him “I still have a long way to go.” (FMA manga, Volume 6). Kimblee even taunts her, “Doesn’t it make you feel satisfied when you hit the target on one shot?”, whose words hit Riza like her own on-point bullets (FMAB, E30). In FMA 03, we see her blame herself for not being there on time. Roy replies by saying the world isn’t perfect, but that makes it beautiful (FMA 03, E51).

hardworking and organized - she gets things done stat. She does Roy’s paperwork and always reminds him to do them. Aside from that, she is very dedicated on work, she even delivers paperwork to the Führer’s residence late at night (FMAB, E37). Her dedication for work is most evident when she stood up all night while Roy was in a meeting in Central HQ (FMAB, E25). Other than that, she is obedient, she never fails to comply any order as long as it is within her morale. Even on the verge of death, she told the gold-toothed doctor she won’t die since she is “under strict orders not to die.” (FMAB, E58)

stubborn and uptight - in line with the previous trait, most Virgos are stubborn and uptight. Once they set their mind on a plan, they want it followed pronto! Roy even comments that Riza is stubborn (FMAB, E24) when she insists she will wait until Roy’s meeting is finished. Because of this, Riza may appear uptight. She bosses around Team Mustang, basically. For this reason, co-workers regard her as Roy’s babysitter (FMAB, E17). She tends to follow an everyday routine, as seen on how she and Black Hayate spends their mornings (FMA 03, E37).

reserved and untrusting - for some reason, we see Riza as reserved. I can’t pinpoint an exact moment where she’s shy, but I guess we assume she is because she rarely speaks. Riza isn’t an open book, and Virgos tend to have trouble trusting other people. This is evident since Riza holds the secrets of Flame Alchemy on her back. As an independent person, she may find it hard to rely on someone. It might have been hard for Riza to choose to trust Roy, and doing so might have caused a whole lot of consideration. That is, until she finally asks Roy, “Can I entrust you my father’s research?” Well, we see how much trust she gives to him since we never once saw her complain about anything— except with Roy.

honest - Riza is known to have a dry humor, and she never holds back on any comment she has. It’s seen on how she makes jokes with Rebecca Catalina (FMAB, E46). She’s blunt with her words— even calling Roy, her superior, an idiot or is useless (FMA 03 E15; FMAB E01, E05, E19, E53). She even asks Fuhrer Bradley a personal question, “Is that even called a family?” (FMAB, E42). Riza also declined Pride’s offer to join their forces, even in the face of threat (FMAB, E37).

patient and observant - aside from dealing with Team Mustang on a daily basis, her patience is very apparent on her character. In order to take a shot, she waits for the perfect timing. She’s also very observant, especially on the things Roy fail to communicate verbally. Whenever they visited Hughes’ grave, it was shown that Riza can sense Roy’s grief, and knows something is up (FMAB E10, E50)

intelligent - other than all the aforementioned reasons, we see Riza’s intelligence as she was able to count and remember the steps from Laboratory 5 to the door. And they figured out it was between the Fuhrer’s residence and Central HQ. (FMAB, E21). A more iconic scene was when she was able to figure out who Pride is (FMAB, E37).

kind - We see Riza as empathetic, especially to the young. She is in good terms with Winry (FMAB, E02; FMA Star of Milos) and Ed and Al (FMAB, E30). We see her voluntarily adopt Black Hayate (FMA 03, E13). Roy even admits it, “She may appear like that, but the Lieutenant is really kind.” (FMA manga, somewhere sksjskdjsks idk what volume)

Roy and Riza Compatibility

(based on their signs)

Both of them are polar opposites, like Roy is outgoing and Riza is shy. These might create conflict or it might also complement their flaws. Roy’s spontaneity helps with Riza’s rigidity. Just as Riza helps him stay on track with his work, Roy lets her lossen up a bit (FMAB E17-E19, where Riza is disguised as Elizabeth).

Riza’s critical untrusting judgement and Roy’s two-facedness may create conflict between them. Plus, Roy being easily bored might not work well with what Riza wants, which is routine and constancy. There might also be a problem with Roy’s flirtiness, which might ignite Riza’s doubtfulness.

Fortunately, they have both lessened these problems since they have laid their relationship on trust. Riza has entrused her back to Roy, along with the secrets of Flame Alchemy. Roy, on the other hand, has also entrusted his back to her (and his life, as she is free to take it if he will stray away from the right path). We see this on FMAB E54, when Riza stopped Roy from being consumed by revenge. In that scene, we also saw how Roy’s impulsiveness was balanced out by Riza’s strict compliance to rules and routine.

Aside from their differences, they also share many similarities. With their high emotional and intellectual compatibility, they entertain themselves in witty banters (well we often observe that). They share the same realistic attitude, and goals towards life (creating a better world even through a muddy path, FMAB E30).

They also share a negative trait of not being able to express their feelings easily. They may have trouble putting their feelings into words. Good thing they both learned to communicate nonverbally— and this is seen on another iconic moment when Riza’s glance saved them both from threat (FMAB, E54). After all, they’ve “known each other for quite some time.”

Again, this is all for fun! It’s fun to read horoscopes and get writing prompts from there wahaha here are some of my references: Gemini, Virgo, Gemini and Virgo compatibility

I’ll be making a proper character analysis soon right on my fma analysis blog @fullmetalanalyst !

[ikleesfiction]

Will you follow through if I fall for you?

Fandom : One Chicago Word count : 2,276 words Author Notes : Rated M Disclaimer

Previously on this fic : Part 1 🞂 Part 2 🞂 Part 3 🞂 Part 4

Part 5

Jay didn’t text or call you further until the next day. You feel your phone vibrating on the desk as you are working with your headphones on. You see Jay’s name on the display before you pick it up, “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N! I’m downstairs. Let's do the dinner date now. You haven’t had dinner yet, have you?” Jay spontaneously announces.

It was just past 7 PM. You have been working since 1 PM and didn’t notice the time goes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Couldn’t you give me more time to prepare?”, you sound annoyed but he can hear the smile in your tone.

“Don't want you to accuse me of bailing again. So I have to be sure I can make it”, Jay says grinningly.

“Why don’t you come up and wait in my living room?”, you let Jay know your apartment number and buzz him up before you disconnect the call. Soon you hear knocks on your door.

“Hi, come on in”, you usher Jay into your place. “Sit wherever you like, make yourself at home. If you’d like to drink, feel free to take it from the fridge. I’m gonna go get ready”, you tell him.

As you turn your back to leave, Jay grabs your wrist gently and turns you around. His hand then cups your face tenderly and he leans to kiss your lips. You freeze up for a tick before melt into it. Your hand moves to his chest, palm over his denim jacket.

Jay pulls away after a while, “Hi. I miss you”, he murmurs. You just blink owlishly and stay speechless.

“Now you can go get ready”, he commands you with a smile. You voluntarily follow his order. Jay shakes his head, amused. He was being honest when he said he misses you. For the whole day, he was hoping the unit wouldn’t get any urgent cases. Once it’s time to clock out, Jay quickly moved out of the district. The kiss though been something that he wanted to do since he met you at Will’s place. When Jay saw you opened the door before, he thought you’re cute with faded pink shorts that were drowned by an oversized white t-shirt. He just felt like it was the right time to properly kiss you.

As he waits for you to get ready, Jay looks around at your place. It’s an open-plan apartment. He can see almost every corner of it from the living room. A flat tv was hanging on the wall, in front of a cozy couch and a simple coffee table. On one corner, there is a small desk table with a mismatched but comfy looking chair. A laptop, headphones, and a microphone are sitting on the table. Next to it, there are an electric keyboard and a guitar. Cables plug and scatter around messily. He figures that’s where you do your work.

Jay walks to the kitchen to take a bottle of water from the fridge. You don’t have a dining table. Only a kitchen island with chairs on its outer side. On the fridge door, he can see a training schedule and some recipe cards. There are no pictures or drawings. Actually, he cannot find any family photos or even band posters around the place. The place looks kind of bare without any personal decoration. Jay wonders how long you’ve been living in this place.

Fifteen minutes later, you come out of your room in a cream-colored blouse and skinny blue jeans. Because Chicago weather always feels chilly to you, you put on a black light-jacket that fell slightly above your wrists. “Okay, I’m ready”, you fluff your hair a bit. You don’t have time to style it the way you like. So brush and fingers should do.

“You clean up nice”, Jay compliments you. He offers his hand for you to take.

“Well, thanks for the heads-up”, you respond jokingly as both of you step out of your place after you lock it down.

You and Jay casually chat while he drives. “How was your day?”, you genuinely want to know.

“It’s good. Any day without getting shot at is actually good. The gang told me to say hi to you, by the way”, he informs you.

“Really? How many people are there in your team? I was lowballing for breakfast the other day. I hope it’s enough”, you tilt your head curiously.

“No, you were great. No one was left hungry. Let’s see, there is my partner, Hailey Upton. We got Ruzek, Olinsky, and Dawson. Hank Voight is our boss. Who else did I miss? Hmm…Oh, Burgess and Atwater! So there’s eight of us”, Jay counts.

“And Sergeant Platt at the desk”, you remind him.

Jay lets out a laugh, “Right, that’s sweet of you to remember her”

“Well, no one can go in 21st District without her permission. So I have to take good care of her”, you humorously explain your reason.

Soon Jay parks his car. “The restaurant is just around the corner”, he shows you as you step out of his car. You walk side by side to the restaurant.

“Dawson told me this place is good but I’ve never been here before”, Jay informs you when he opens the restaurant door for you.

“Great, I like unknown places”, you cheerfully comment.

There is a friendly-looking older guy greets them at the door. “Hola! Welcome! My name is Carlos. Are you looking for a table for two?”

Jay gives him an affirmative nod, “Yes, please”

Carlos then guides both of you to a table. He lets you settle down and gives menu cards to review. A few minutes later, he comes back, “Ready to order?”

Jay looks at you questioningly. “Ah, can you tell me more about this one?”, you ask Carlos, pointing out an appetizing picture of a dish on the menu. The discussion is certainly longer than normal, but Carlos happily explains it to you. Finally, you pick your choice and so does Jay.

“I’m sorry. It must’ve been annoying to listen to”, you apologize to Jay once Carlos left.

“Not at all", Jay brushes it off. "It is actually interesting to see. The guy was ready to narrate all the tales about each dish when you ask”

“Yeah, thankfully he’s patient about it. Other places might have kicked me out before I can decide”, you snort a laugh. “That happened before. We were in New York. My best friend, Alex is a DJ. He was scheduled to play a gig at a club there. We planned to have an early dinner before going to the club. It was a fairly fancy restaurant. I remembered asking at least three questions for each dish before the waitress lost her patience, accused me of pranking her, and kicked us out. We were too shocked to say anything”, you giggle through your story. “Whenever we try new places now, I’m not allowed to order anymore”

"You're not just being polite when you mentioned you like unknown places", Jay remarks after laughing at your story.

"No, I truly like it. When we travel for work, we like to try places recommended by locals. Sometimes they do well, sometimes they don't. That's the fun in that", you justify.

"Is that why your place is rather bare? Because you travel all the time?", he pries.

"Ah no, not really. I.. I haven't been staying there long. Two months now", you hesitantly unfold.

"Oh, where do you live before?", he continues to probe.

"Amsterdam", you quickly respond, wishing he doesn't ask more about it.

"That's far. What made you move here?", Jay intrigues, unaware of your discomfort.

Before you can reply, a waiter comes with an appetizer and wine. He pours the wine into both of yours and Jay's glass, then leaves the bottle on the table. You softly exhale your relief, grateful for the distraction.

“Hmm, this is good”, you say after sipping your wine and tasting the food. “This place is very nice", as you look around the restaurant. "A good recommendation you received here, Jay”

"Yeah, Antonio rarely stirs us wrong", Jay agrees with you.

"Antonio is Gabby's brother, right?", you ask him.

"Yeah, you know her?", Jay returns with a tad surprised.

"Uhuh, Met her at Molly's", you answer shortly. It is not exactly a lie, but it is not the whole truth either. You did come to Molly's the night before the incident where Firehouse 51 saved you.

"Seriously? I can't believe we never met before. Our unit is a regular there! Even Will also frequently goes there", Jay baffles. You just giggle in response.

Easy conversation flows during dinner. Both of you certainly enjoy it. Soon the meal is finished and dessert is polished. While Jay settles the bill, you compliment the staff for the nice meal. Carlos bids farewell at the door with a small package of dulce de leche cookies. "Hope you enjoy the rest of your night!", he wishes you and Jay goodbye.

“What if we take a walk for a while, sober up from the wine?”, Jay suggests to you after leaving the restaurant. “Okay”, you readily agree.

Jay holds your hand when you both stroll along the sidewalk. The sky is quite clear. Even though you cannot see a lot of stars, the moon shines prettily. Both of you glance at each other a few times. Until you lock eyes with him, Jay stops his walk and turns to look at you. “Gosh, you’re gorgeous”, he states before kissing you tenderly on your lips.

One kiss turns two and another and another. It got more intense for each kiss. You’re not sure how long until you have to take a breather.

“Might be better if we go back now?” you sigh to his lips. He steals another kiss before replying, “Okay, we’re going now.”

◢◤

Your hand is shaking when you try to open your apartment door with Jay’s hands wrap around your waist. His body presses on your back while his lips nibble on your neck. Once you get in, you lead him to your bedroom. Jay sheds his and your clothes one by one in between kisses along the way. Both of you are topless when you reach your bedroom. You push him lightly to your bed and straddle him on his lap. The make-out session keeps going for a while. His hands then move from your ass to take off your jeans. He rolls on top of you and starts to peel your jeans from your legs.

You suddenly realize that he’s going to see the scar on your left leg, a souvenir from the incident. Jay can feel you stiffen when his knuckles graze your scar. “You okay?”, he tentatively asks you.

“Ah, yeah. I don’t know how I could forget about it. I’m sorry. I could cover it so you...”, you falter.

“What? What are you talking about?”, Jay confusedly interrupts.

You sit up and pointedly look at your left leg. There’s a long jagged line that goes along your left hamstring. Jay delicately touches it, but you jerk your leg away in reflex, “Sorry! Am I hurting you?”, Jay sounds worried.

“No, you’re not”, you fall back to your pillow and avoid looking at Jay. He moves to your right side and leans on his left elbow, facing you as he waits for you to speak.

“There’s was an incident, a couple months ago”, you begin to fill him in. “Alex was playing a gig at a nightclub on Fulton River District. I assisted him behind the stage”, you shudder as you recount the nightmare.

“One moment everything went alright, but then I saw the stage started to wobble. It collapsed quickly. I pulled Alex out of the way but I moved too slow...” Jay stays silent but holds your right hand and kisses the back of it.

“I was trapped under the rubble. My leg got pinned. Until Firehouse 51 pulled me out of there”. Jay instinctively squeezes your hand. “Torn the ligaments, got some nerve damage too. Been working on it ever since”, you unreliably conclude your story.

Jay is quiet for a while, but his hand moves to caress your face. “I’m gonna buy drinks for the whole 51 next time I see them at Molly’s”, he declares and then closes the gap to your lips. “For them to save you, so I can have you here, with me, right now”

He continues to kiss your neck, down to your shoulder, on top of your breast, your ribs. His lips keep moving south until he gets to your thigh. You try to pull your left leg away, but he is just not having it. He peppers your thigh and knee with soft kisses. “You don’t have to do that”, you whisper. “I know it’s off-putting”

“That’s where you are wrong. I see this as a beautiful sign that you survive” Jay fiercely says. “I got scars too, Y/N. Some even invisible. Are you appalled about my scars?”, he questions you.

“Of course not!” you exclaim.

“So you understand that I am not revolted by it”, his eyes look at you sincerely, before he puts your left leg on his right shoulder to kiss your scar.

Soon, he takes off his trousers and underwear, follows by pulling yours off. When he crawls back on top of you, you circle your hands around his neck and pull him down to kiss his lips passionately.

"I'm so glad I got a chance to meet you", Jay says before continues the night to make love to you.

Next on this fic : Part 6

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@shipshipshipau @itsdesiree86 @thevelvetseries @annaallicce

[bts-roses]

Spilling Coffee | 2

➼ summary: You’ve always prided yourself in being a naturally graceful and reliable person. So an internship at BigHit seemed like a walk in the park. That is, until a certain goof slide-kicks you off your feet and makes your life a whole lot harder.

Or

Namjoon is a misunderstood klutz and y/n thinks too much.

➼ pairing: idol!namjoon x intern!reader

➼ genre: fluff

➼ word count: 2,500

Previous | Next

‣

The morning sun beams on Namjoon’s face as he stares at the iced latte on the table. Its’ ice cubes slightly melting from the sun rays piercing their heat onto it. He glares intensely at it with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. The staff try and give their usual greetings as they walk past but they stop, slightly disturbed at the outlandish man. He looks crazy. Like a cartoon villain, he’s sitting with his legs crossed and fingertips touching, head deep in thought.

It’s officially been exactly a month since the fateful coffee incident and things haven’t got better, in fact things are worse.

‣ 

The elevator was getting busy after lunch. You were slightly squeezed at the back, barely able to let out a deep breath, when a new group of people walked in.

“Bro, I can’t believe you did that.” you hear a familiar voice laugh out. Isn’t that Jimin’s voice?

You look over the stranger’s shoulder to see the majority of BTS in the front. Shit. You panic slightly in the corner, scared of unwanted contact. As a last resort, you awkwardly bend your knees to diminish your height until you could no longer see them, accidentally kneeing the stranger’s legs in front of you. You feel the person in front of you jerk slightly and look down at you puzzled. You let out a sheepish smile and mouth an apology to them. Real smooth y/n.

“Leave me alone.” Namjoon says, embarrassed at the amount of people in the lift hearing their conversation.

You slightly shiver at the sound of his voice.

“We can’t. How could we?” Jungkook giggles, clutching his stomach from laughing too much, “You literally-”

“Okay we get it, we don’t need to hear it again.” Namjoon whines, stopping the youngest to finish his sentence.

“Joon, you fell and skid on actual dog shit. I think we do need to hear it again. It’s not like it was the first time.” Jin exclaims, the other members bubbling in laughter again.

The small room bursts in claps and boisterous roars from the members. Namjoon’s face instantly glows a deeper shade of read, hearing the mumbles of the people behind him. 

“So that’s what I was smelling.” You whisper mindlessly to yourself, looking up when you hear some people in the elevator laughing at your remark.

Namjoon hears it as well. He recognises that voice anywhere. He turns around and you both meet eyes. His face turns in upmost horror at the fact that you not only heard all of that but now you’re gonna associate him with the smell of dog shit. Meanwhile, your face morphs into an expression of fear. He heard that.

Before he can grab you and explain that he actually normally smells really nice, they arrive at his floor and he is dragged away by his so-called friends out of the elevator.

“I fucking hate you all.” He shouts, hitting anyone he could get his hands on the moment the doors close.

The members, who took part in the taunting, stare at him bewildered and are confused by the leader’s odd reaction. He normally just takes the teasing passively and even joins in from time to time.

“Hyung, we’re just joking.” Taehyung laughs nervously, “You’re acting weird.”

They all stare at him sighing deeply, clearly in a huff. They all look at each other questioningly, unsure of what to do. Yoongi, who noticed the reason for his sudden outburst, chuckles at his friend’s reaction.

“Y/n was in that elevator.” Yoongi simply states.

When the members hear Namjoon groan ashamed they grow quiet, realising what they had done. That is, until they all erupt in deafening howls.

“Oh my god,” Hoseok cries on the floor from too much laughter, “She probably thinks Joonie got the poo all over his trousers or something.”

If Namjoon thought he would get the members’ sympathy, he was dead wrong.

‣

He shivers at the memory. You may hate him and think he smells like dog faeces, but he’s determined to talk to you. He will track you down. He will find you. He will-

“Joon-ah.” Yoongi calls out, concerned about his friend’s stillness “the fuck is wrong with you? You’re scaring everyone”

“I’m out for blood, hyung.” He says giving a quick glance at his surroundings before staring back at the drink in front of him.

“Yah, why do you care so much? It’s been weeks, stupid.” Yoongi shakes his head, already knowing what was clouding his thoughts.

Why does he care so much? Pft. What kind of question is that? Why does he care? Oh. Why do I care? He wonders. He looks up at his hyung, who was waiting for his answer. 

When Yoongi realises the younger couldn’t answer, it was easy for him to guess the real reason. Throughout his 10 years of knowing Namjoon he has never seen him so distressed about someone. Yoongi feels like he gets whiplash whenever he steps into the building with him, getting sick of the unneeded paranoia seeping out of his bandmate. Hyung, what if we run into her? You know what, I don’t care if we do. Oh my God is that her? He feels himself loose brain cells from the mere mention of her. It’s so obvious that Namjoon has developed a slight infatuation for the girl, no matter how much he tries to deny it when the others tease him about it. All Yoongi can think is how much he wants to meet this intern that leeches on the leader’s mind.

The older one chuckles and says walking away, “you’re lucky you’re famous, this would’ve been a restraining order against you if you were any less good looking.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

He decides not to fret about it. Abruptly standing up from the chair, it flips over. Realising people around him are staring, his cheeks flush. The man messily puts it back up and strides away with the beverage in hand like a man on a mission.

Striding in the direction of your floor, he breathes out to himself with a playful smirk, “Your little legs can’t run away from me any longer, y/n.”

‣

You’ve been trying okay?

After the realisation of your feelings, you decided you should try and stop your habit of running away. Giving it some thought, you realised that trying to avoid him meant that you saw him less. And that made you :( You also realised that when you see him around, he doesn’t seem like he will go up and try to speak to you anymore, which also makes you :( He has probably given up. Makes sense. It has been a month and you did make a mean comment about him smelling weird, when it wasn’t even his fault.

But maybe it’s for the best. It isn’t like your crush is going to go somewhere. This is Namjoon. Kim Namjoon. Literally millions of guys and girls would kill to just breathe the same air as him, never mind have him fall for them. You should be happy with the fact you can see him most days. Even though you do run from the mere sight of him. But, anyways!

It was a new week and the perfect time to enforce your new goals. You were feeling pretty good, humming as you sit down at your desk, ready for a days work ahead.

“Intern.” you look up from your desk and see your boss. Immediately, you stand up and bow.

“Good morning.” You greet politely.

“Thank you, you can sit down. I’ve been noticing that these days you are really stepping up your game so I just wanted to praise you.” She says stoically and you’re in shock. Is she okay? “And,  want you to help on one of the upcoming projects.”

“M-me?” You stutter out in disbelief.

“Yes, you. Don’t make me repeat myself, Intern. Joowon will keep you updated for the project.” She scolds and starts to head for the door but she stops midway and looks at you once more, “Keep up the good work.”

Trying hard to sustain your smile, you get back to previewing the reports in front of you. Did Mrs Lee of all people really just praise you? You? Guess the colour coding won her over, you think to yourself.

When Daeun texts you to come down and meet her for lunch, you get up from your desk and make your way to the canteen with an evident spring in your step.

Down the corridor you see a familiar figure walking towards your direction, you halt your steps automatically. Oh shit, here we go again. You think to yourself, giggling for a millisecond at your joke. Okay, straight face. You can do this y/n! 

Breathing in a deep breath, you start walking forwards. 

A step.

Taking a quick glance at him, you curse yourself: who gave him the right to look that good? He’s dressed in some brown overalls and a jumper. All you can think about is how adorable he looks but also how he manages to look hot at the same time. Like, damn is that even possible- Fuck, focus on the task at hand you dumb bitch.

A step.

You meekly look at him again and you meet eyes. But he looks so pretty. Your heart starts racing again. Slightly daunted from the attention, you look down at your feet with a bashful smile on your face. He looks at you in shock.

A step.

What the fuck? Okay. This wasn’t part of the plan. Namjoon’s brain shouts. He thinks his eyes are deceiving him or something. You’re voluntarily walking towards him? Him? The dog poo man? Cool. Cool. That’s cool. Deep breath. 

A step.

You know what? This is good! This actually makes his plan easier. He encourages in his head. When you’re in front of him he will just casually hand you the drink and say sorry or say hi or whatever. It’ll be fine. He assures himself, his grip on the iced drink tightening slightly in anticipation. 

Just a few more steps...

One more step.

Your shoulders slightly brush as you walk past each other and you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief because Hell yeah you just did that. Thank God. Now you can get on with your day in peace.

Another step.

Fucking abort the mission. He panics, scared he’s lost his chance. No, do it, you pussy. Bitch, I’m scared. His mind races. Is he just gonna let you go? This might not ever happen again. Namjoon decides fuck it. He inhales deeply. Let’s just improvise.

Before turning around, he musters up a deep suave voice, “Hey.”

Stopping in your tracks, you turn around and look at his back, stunned. Uh, this wasn’t in the plan.

It’s as if the next few seconds move in slow motion.

Namjoon thought, at the last second, it would be impressive to do those cool things where you see him turn around slowly, like those scenes in the movies. So he does just that.

As he turns around, you hear him start, “This is for y-” He stops himself when he stumbles. Everything goes still.

Oh my fucking God. You scream to yourself.

Oh my fucking God. Namjoon screams in his head.

It wasn’t until you fully feel the cold liquid seep through your blouse that you both think at the same time. What the fuck!?

“Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuckedy Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He freaks out, moving towards you, attempting the dry the mess off of you, “I didn’t mean it, I was just supposed to just give it to you. I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.”

You freeze, trying to process what was happening. You look down at Namjoon, who was slightly bent over and using sweater paws of his jumper to pat you dry. Your heart quickening its’ pace at the sudden intimacy.

Amidst the chaos, Namjoon looks up at your shell-shocked face and you both make eye contact again. He notices how soft your hair looks. He notices how pretty your lips are. The idol slows down his actions until it comes to an halt. Too busy bathing in your stunning eyes to continue.

His heart starts pounding faster.

Slowly, you look further down, your face getting pale at the feeling. He follows your movement, his face suddenly turning red when he realises:

He’s groping your boobs.

As if he touched fire, he swats his hands away, “I’m so sorry. I’m not a pervert, I swear!” He shouts moving his face sideways to expect a slap, “I was just trying to dry you. I’m sorry! You can hit me if you want, I deserve it.” 

He stops talking when he hears it. You’re laughing. He meets your eyes again, noticing how your face fills up with amusement. He takes a mental note of how gorgeous you are when you laugh. Your smile is contagious.

“Well, I guess we’re now even, Kim Namjoon.” You announce, he freezes, liking the way his name comes off his lips.

You review his astonished face with a look of fondness in your eyes, thinking he’s just baffled. Taking advantage of his frozen state, “If you excuse me, I’m gonna go clean myself up.”

You leave him in the middle of the corridor, an image of you smiling engraved in his brain and coffee splattered on the floor. He lets out a gigantic smile. 

Well that went better than expected.

‣

taglist: @alinerl​ @kim-jias-den​ @657mg​ @jinjccns​

a/n: hi again! thank you for reading, i hope you liked it!