#he was like the janitor at a school my mum went to evening classes at

[weedle-testaburger]

as someone who actually lives like 10 minutes from somewhere where there was a horrific murder case, true crime is honestly stupid to me. not only because it's disrespectful to the community traumatised by the case, but also because i know that the shithead who did it was a pathetic, abusive loser and there's no point idolising or even caring about someone like that

[lostinwildflowers]

Night Skies and City Lights

Koshi Sugawara x Reader

Summary: Sugawara comes from a rich family, he owns lavish cars and houses, and can buy whatever he wants. When he is invited to an event in New York City, he wants to bring a date. What do you do when your best friend asks you to go with him?

Word Count: 8.0K (Yeah I’m sorry)

Warnings: wealthy!Suga, swearing, friends to lovers, pining, angst, two dum dums don’t realize they both like each other(omg please kiss already i stg), fluff of course :)

A/N: Here is my part of @bakugohoex​ (Ria)’s 3K follower event!!! I can’t say it enough, but congrats love! I hope y’all enjoy my first time writing for Suga bb :) Please let me know what y’all think in the comments or in my inbox please, this took a lot from me to jump of out my comfort zone. Love y’all! - Birch<3

Dividers were created by the lovely and wonderful @anlian-aishang​ :) (I totally didn’t get these made just for this fic LOL)

Also, this and this were my inspiration for their outfits :) (total credit to the artist of the drawing and creator of the dress.) Okay I’ll shut up now, please enjoy :)

The last bell of the day rang out loudly, and all through the hallways, you could hear the happy cheers and chatter of students on their way home for the weekend. Students bustle quickly out of your assigned classroom, and a chuckle leaves your lips at the horde of them that clutter around your door.

You are drawn out of your thoughts as you shut your notebook, realizing that you had to put all of your books in your locker for the weekend. You begin shoving binders and folders into your backpack as fast as you can as the teacher finishes putting the chairs up for the janitor to clean overnight.

As you zip your bag shut and toss it over your shoulder, an extra binder in your arms you call out, “Have a nice weekend, Mrs. Smith!” The older woman calls back a goodbye as you slip out of the door, striding down the halls toward your locker.

Your bag hits the ground next to your locker with a loud thump as you set the binder in your hands on top of your bag, turning back to your locker to enter the combination in. Footsteps down the hall pull your eyes away from the small dial as you pull the lever open swiftly.

Warm, brown eyes lock onto yours in an instant and a smile slides across your lips as you lunge toward the taller framed boy.

“SUGA!!! I thought you went home without me, you jerk,” you whine out as you wrap your arms around him. Large and muscular arms wrap around your waist, picking you up off the ground to spin you in a small circle.

You can feel Sugawara’s chest rise and fall from his soft chuckles and as he pulls away, he shoots you his signature sugary grin.

“Awe, did you really think I would leave you behind, Y/n?” he teases as you return to placing your binders in your locker. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance as you chide back at him, “Well you took your time getting here and the hallways are totally empty, so yeah.”

Suga leans against the locker next to yours, crossing his arms as he watches you struggle to place one of your textbooks on the top shelf. He leans forward quickly, grabbing it from your hands to place it above your head with ease.

“You really think I would let my best friend walk home on a Friday afternoon, all alone, with no one to protect her? Geeze Y/n, your expectations of me are very low,” he pouts as he looks away, brown eyes gleaming playfully as you pick up your bag in one hand, closing the locker with the other.

You shove him, bag slipping from your hands as you slam him against a locker. Laughs bubble out from the two of you, and you are so distracted by trying to catch your breath from all the giggles to notice that Suga has slung your bag over his shoulder and has tossed his arm around you, guiding you out of the building.

Casual conversation is held between the two of you as he walks you home. Suga talks about his classes and the status of his college applications. You talk about how you were so excited for the weekend because you finally got a break from classes and you got to sleep in the following morning.

It seemed to be too soon when you landed on the steps of your front door. Suga rubs the back of his head with a soft grin, offering your bag out with his opposite hand.

You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and murmur, “Thanks Suga, I always appreciate it when you walk me home. I know you could always drive us, but the weather was so nice today and...”

A slight warmth hovers over your cheeks as your words trail off and you shrug as you grab your bag from him. You look down at your feet before mumbling out, “and I guess I like spending time with you outside of class and stuff.”

Suga lays a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him quickly. His head tilts softly, like how he does, and chuckles, “Well I enjoy it too, Y/n! This is what best friends do, so you can count on me!” With his last words, his thumb juts toward himself and he gives you another one of his classic smiles.

You can feel a slight drop in your mood at his words. This is what best friends do. The silver-haired boy in front of you had been your best friend for years, but now he’s in high school and he’s not the same little kid he used to be.

He was thick with muscle from playing volleyball, and he was devastatingly handsome. Suga’s concerned face suddenly has you focusing back in as the hand he rested on your shoulder moves to cup your face softly.

“Are you alright, Y/n? You looked kinda dizzy there for a second, do I need to walk you in-” “I’m okay,” you chirp out as your (colored) eyes widen. Suga flinches at your words before pulling away from you, tucking his hands into his pockets.

You immediately feel bad for slightly snapping at him, he was always just trying to help. “I promise I’m good, Suga,” you say more gently, “I was just lost in thought there for a second.”

He gives you a nod and then a look of thought travels across his face. Suga opens his mouth to say something, but your front door opens to your mom’s voice, and you turn away from him before he gets the chance to speak.

“Hi mum,” you call as you wave to her. Suga doesn’t say anything but just lifts a hand to wave at her as he starts to back up. “Hey, Y/n, I gotta go home, I’ll text you, yeah?” he says softly as he turns away.

You nod over your shoulder as Suga fully turns around, too quick for you to see the blush on his cheeks and the embarrassed look on his face. He curses under his breath as he walks away from your house and down the sidewalk. 

You were his best friend, so why the hell was it becoming so hard to talk to you?

The following week was difficult for Suga after his failed attempt to ask you his lingering question. He had been invited to New York City for an event by his coach, Keishin Ukai. 

All of his friends were going with their girlfriends and significant others, and he didn’t want to show up alone. Suga didn’t really bother to listen to what the event was about, but he knew it was supposed to be a black-tie affair.

There were two reasons why he was struggling to ask you to go with him. The first reason, although selfish and a daydream, was every time he would go to ask you, all he could picture was the way you would look in a floor-length dress like that. Would you want to wear purple or blue? Maybe even an emerald green?

Just the thought of you looking so ravishing on his arm had his tongue-tied and all rational thought leave his head. His second reason was a bit selfish too, and it was because it was you.

You were his best friend. You were more than his best friend. You were his person, the one who he loved and enjoyed more than anyone else. Yeah, he had the biggest and sweetest crush on you, and no way to tell you.

How couldn’t he love you? You were absolutely stunning, you had an amazing sense of humor with a perfect midnight laugh. You were so, so kind to others, and the soft touches on the shoulder and friendly hugs were more than enough to make his heart skip in his chest.

So, when he acted slightly weird around you after that day he walked you home, you began to worry that you had done or said something to push him away. You didn’t want there to be tension between the two of you, you guys were best friends!

You both were currently sitting in Suga’s personal library after school hours, books sprawled out in front of you as you studied for your upcoming tests. Suga sat in front of you, glasses perched on his nose as he read from a small journal, taking small notes every few seconds.

On the other hand, you were furiously doing math homework, sketching out curves of complex equations, and typing things aggressively into your calculator. Suga glances up at you in concern when you let out a huff after loud clacking into your calculator.

“Everything alright, Y/n? What did that poor calculator do to you?” he chuckles lightly, setting his journal down and lightly stretching, leaning his palm against his face as he gives you his full attention.

You look up from your calculator a little wildly, a flush covering your cheeks as you register Suga’s words and his brown eyes on you. You push the calculator away from you as you murmur, “I just… I really don’t like math.”

Suga nods knowingly and takes a closer look at what you were trying to do. “Yeah, I don’t want any of that,” he laughs out with a disgusted look on his face. 

You pout and cross your arms, giving Suga the best puppy eyes that you could. “Pleaseeee, Suga? You are so good at math, you took this class a whole year early!”

Suga just rolls his eyes before scooting over to your side, one arm resting on the back of your chair as his eyes flicked over the problem. You tried to focus on the small corrections he was giving you, something about concavity and zeros on the graph.

It was difficult to think about math when your really, really cute best friend had his glasses on and was trying to teach you something. 

Holy shit he looks so hot, you think to yourself as you watch Suga redraw the graph you were miserably failing at. No wonder he wants to be a teacher, he’s amazing at this. Wait! Why am I thinking like this? He’s my best friend! I don’t like him like that!

“You got all this?” Suga asks you, a gentle expression on his face as he finishes the sketch, holding it up to show you. You blink dumbly at him for a second before nodding, “Yeah, uh, thanks, Suga.”

He gives you a short nod back but doesn’t return to his seat. He reaches for the journal he had been reading but stops and turns back to you.

“Hey, Y/n, I actually have something to ask you,” a blush starts to creep up his neck and red coats the tips of his ears. You turn away from your math homework to get a better look at your best friend.

One of his hands goes to scratch at his neck while he stutters out, “I- I, uhm, was wondering if you would w-want to go to this, uhm event with me? It’s in New York, so I get it if you don’t feel comfortable and it’s-”

“Suga, I would love to!” you chirp out, a smile gracing your features as you place a hand on his shoulder. A deep sigh of relief leaves his lips as he grins back at you, “Thank goodness, I really didn’t want to go alone. Not when Daichi and Asahi are going to show up with pretty girls on their arms.”

You blink at his words and look toward the floor, “Are you asking me just because I’m your best friend? Or am I pretty enough to fit in with your friends?” A sinking feeling hits your stomach as you realize the differences between you two.

It was easy to forget Suga’s wealthy status when he was your best friend. You had grown up together, so he just seemed like family. Suga never truly liked to flaunt his money or possessions, so it never really bothered you. But here he was, asking you to fly across the globe to go to an event with other rich people.

Suga quickly waves his hands in front of him before awkwardly trying to reassure you, “No, no, Y/n!! You are my best friend, and well, you’re really pretty- I just thought you might want to go, and I don’t think you aren’t pretty, in fact, I think you're one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen!”

A silence falls over the two of you as you both look at each other in surprise at Suga’s small outburst. You burst out laughing at the embarrassment on Suga’s face, hands clutching toward your stomach out of habit.

“You should have seen your face, Suga! Oh my gosh, you really are too sweet for your own good sometimes,” you squeak out in between giggles. Suga visibly relaxes at your words, and then pouts in his chair, sticking his tongue out at you in annoyance.

A smirk appears on Suga’s lips as he turns back to you, an evil look plastered onto his face. Your eyes widen as you start to realize what that look meant.

“No, SUGAAAAA!! Do we have to go shopping?” you whine as he pulls you into a new store. He just laughs and reassures you that it was very important.

“You have to pick a dress to wear at the event, Y/n,” he states, hands looking through the rack of dresses in your size. You stop for a moment to admire him, his brown eyes looking over each dress, taking in every part before deciding if it was your style or not.

“Can I at least pick which color we wear?” you ask as you slide in next to him. Suga just laughs and nods as he pulls a dress off the rack to show you.

The rest of the afternoon is spent shopping for new suitcases, outfits, and of course, the dress you were going to wear at the event. Suga left you to get your dress fitted as he went to find a matching tux.

You surprisingly trusted him to get a suit that matched well enough, because it’s Suga here. He is quite the fashionista, and he had a picture of your dress to show to his tailor. You would be taking the clothes with you that day, as the plane would leave the following morning.

You both had agreed to meet at the airport in the morning, Suga had even gone as far as to have a car drop by your house to pick you up, and all of your luggage would be loaded by some of his private crew. 

Suga waved at you as you slid out of the car he sent, and you lifted your arm to wave back. You thanked the driver and slid out, your carry-on slung over your shoulder as you made your way over to him.

The private jet was waiting and ready to go, so you both boarded the awaiting plane and got buckled in for take-off. You had asked Suga if you could sit next to him, as you were a little uneasy about flying, and being next to him would be comforting enough for you until you got up into the sky.

He, of course, was reading over the itinerary for the event, but the feeling of being up in the plane made you slightly sick to your stomach. Your head landed on his shoulder, and before you knew it, you were asleep on his shoulder.

Suga looks down at you with a soft admiration and love in his eyes, and he allows himself to enjoy the closeness with you. He gently rests the side of his head against the top of yours, and he slips an arm behind your back so you could be more comfortable. It was going to be a long flight to New York City.

It wasn’t long before your plane landed and you were sleepily getting ushered into a fancy black car. The hotel you were staying at was apparently one of the nicest around, so you couldn’t complain as your heavy eyes stared out the window.

Neither you nor Suga said anything when you woke up from your nap, and neither of you noticed the faint blush coating the other’s cheeks when you pulled away. Suga, ever the gentleman, had helped you down from the plane and carried your bag the whole way to where the car was waiting.

You could hear the radio faintly in the background, along with the soft and calm voice of Suga. He was on the phone with one of his friends, you couldn’t tell if it was Daichi or Asahi though. Suga told whoever was on the other side that you both had landed safely and were going to the hotel to relax after the long flight.

Soon enough you are facing a very large and fancy-looking hotel, bright lights shining down against the darkened night sky. You are caught staring for a moment before your car door opens to Suga staring down at you.

“We’re here, Y/n. Let's grab our bags from the trunk and get settled in,” he murmurs quietly, as if to not startle you. You give him a nod before beginning to slide out of the seat, knees wobbly as you stand up straight.

Large and comforting hands steady you on either side of your hips, and you look up to see warm honey-colored eyes staring back at you. “Ya okay there, Y/n? I don’t have to carry you now, do I?”

A chuckle leaves both of your lips as he pulls away, handing you your backpack and rolling your suitcase up next to you. The two of you head into the main lobby, waiting for a minute to get your room number before locating the elevator.

You once again slump against Suga as the numbers on the elevator click by slowly. Suga glances down at your tired form with affection in his eyes, and he whispers, “Hey, you can’t be falling asleep yet. You slept almost for the whole plane ride, and we’ve got some things to go over.”

You turn your head to glance up at him with confusion lacing your features. “Whatcha mean we got things to go over? Like for the event?” you question him, eyes flicking over his face tiredly.

Suga nods as the elevator opens to your floor, and he leads the way down the hallway to where your large room was waiting. You had asked him if you could share a room, as you had never been to NYC before and were hesitant to be alone.

As you get your things situated, Suga explains how with his friends at the event you can be yourself; goofy, charismatic, and so on. He also mentioned how his coach was going to be there after traveling, and that you would have to be pretty put together in front of him.

“This sounds like a lot, Suga,” you fret, hands fiddling with your suitcase as you pull out a pair of pajamas. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to remember all of this.”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a second before he looks you square in the eyes and says, “Well don’t worry about it too much. I’ll be right there beside you, Y/n. I drug you into this mess, I can at least be by your side for the whole night.”

You gave him a smile before nodding to the bathroom, “I’m going to get a shower now, is that alright?” Suga just gives you a quick thumbs up over his shoulder as he reaches for the remote to turn on the tv. 

You wander into the very large bathroom, taking in the high ceiling and marble countertops. You set your clothes down next to the sink before turning on the water and getting ready for your shower. Tomorrow was the big day, after all.

The night was young as the bright lights from the city reflected off the windows of the black limo you were sitting in. Suga was sitting across from you, head resting against the window as he watched the streets fly by.

He looked handsome. He looked sinfully handsome. His legs were crossed, and maybe that was a good thing. You could stop staring at his thick and muscular thighs.

You couldn’t help looking at your best friend like this. The way his perfectly tailored vest fit snugly across his chest was distracting, and the way the sleeves to his black button-up were rolled to expose his strong forearms was unforgivable. 

Suga was looking out of the window for one reason and one reason only. He was trying to stop staring at you because holy shit his best friend was riding in a limo with him to a huge event, and oh my goodness did you look divine.

Your flowy black dress filled a good portion of the limo, so Suga couldn’t really sit next to you anyways. In general, he was struggling to contain himself around you, so he opted for quietly watching from the window as you played on your phone.

The limo stopped after a few more minutes of driving, and suddenly you had arrived at a huge mansion just outside of Manhattan. Suga helped you out of the limo, offering his arm to you as you walked toward the growing party.

You clung on tight to Suga’s arm as he began talking to CEOs and other pompous aristocrats, your (colored) eyes scanning around you to see if you could recognize anyone. Suga mentions you a few times to the people he’s talking to, and you say a few words here or there, letting Suga carry the weight of the conversation.

Soon enough, the conversation ends and Suga leads you away from those people before leaning down to whisper in your ear, “You’re doing great, Y/n. Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Your (colored) eyes look up to him quickly, a warmth flooding your cheeks as you scan over his features. He looked as calm and collected as ever, his brown eyes watching the crowd as he guided you toward a less busy corner.

“You look handsome tonight too, Suga,” you murmur shyly as he finally lets his gaze settle over you. He playfully punches your shoulder and chuckles out, “Hey, I was trying to be nice and make this about you, ya know.”

You got to shove him back playfully before you catch sight of shoulder-length brown hair, paired with a barely-there scruff. 

“Asahi!” you call out, waving at him as he catches sight of you and Suga. A man slightly shorter than Asahi follows behind him.

Suga turns away from you to see Asahi and Daichi approaching and he opens his arms wide for a hug. “Asahi, Daichi! Good to see ya, fellows. How have you been?” Suga asks them, pulling you up next to him so you could say hello to his buddies.

Asahi gives a shy smile as Suga wraps him in a big bear hug and he stutters out, “I’ve uh, I’ve been good Suga- I can’t b-breathe when you sQUEeze me that tight.” Daichi just laughs and pulls Suga away to do the handshake chest bump thing that guys always do.

“Nice to see you Suga, Y/n, I haven’t seen you in forever! You look beautiful tonight,” Daichi says as he pulls Suga under his arm. Suga shoots you a sheepish grin as his best friends begin to pull him away.

“Y/n, is it alright if we steal him for a little while? To catch up?” Asahi asks as Daichi starts ushering Suga away from you. You just give Suga a little wave as you respond to Asahi, “Yeah, no problem! Just bring him back to me in one piece.”

Asahi laughs as he follows the captain and vice-captain into the mix of the party. You are left alone for a brief moment before someone calls your name. You look around, but you don’t see anyone you recognize.

Suddenly, two shorter boys appear in front of you, large toothy grins gleaming at you. “Noya! Hinata! How are you?!” you squeal out as you trap them both in a hug. 

A bored voice from behind them mutters out, “They should be better, they’ve been slacking off at practices.” You pull away and lunge at Kageyama, wrapping the tall, lanky boy in a tight hug with a cry of, “Kags! I should have known you would be here!”

“Hey!!! Why don’t I get any love?” came the fourth voice, and you turn to be faced with Tanaka. You let a laugh leave your lips as you give the last boy a hug before pulling back to look at all four of them.

“I haven’t seen you all in so long, you all look so handsome!” you state happily, hands toying with the side of your dress as you gaze upon them. Tanaka, Hinata, and Noya all beam under your praise, while Kageyama just blushes faintly and covers it up with a cough.

Noya looks around you for a second, confusion obvious on his face as he ponders aloud, “Where’s Sugawara? He was the one who brought you right?”

You go to tell him that Asahi and Daichi stole him but you are cut off by Hinata chirping out, “Yeah, is he like your boyfriend or something now?”

“Oh quit it, you moron,” Kageyama snaps at him, “Sugawara would have told us if he managed to snag her, dumbass.”

You blink dumbly at them all for a second before they all look up at you, eyes wide like puppies who ate something they shouldn’t have. Tanaka breaks the silence by saying, “C’mon guys, do you really think Suga could catch someone as pretty as Y/n? I don’t think so!”

“Hey, I would watch your mouth there, Tanaka,” Daichi’s voice comes. Asahi and Sugawara are right behind him, and Suga slides in next to you with an apologetic smile. He leans down to whisper in your ear as Daichi starts arguing with Tanaka, “Sorry I took so long, the guys really missed me, and I-”

You quickly shush him and shrug with a smile, “No, no it’s alright. I was just catching up with these lunatics.” Suga gives you a grateful smile in return before looking back at his friends, laughing along with a joke Noya told Asahi.

Your (colored) eyes flick over Suga’s handsome face, taking in the soft pink on his cheeks from laughing, the beauty mark next to his eye, and the gentle curve of his lips as he smiles at his friends.

You must have kept your eyes on Suga for a second too long, because Hinaya peeps out, “Hey, Y/n, is there something on Suga’s face that you’re looking at?”

You tear your eyes away from Suga as fast as you can to look anywhere but at any of the people around you. The group of boys all watch you as your face flushes and your mouth gapes open, but no words come out.

Suga starts to get concerned when you don’t say anything, and he murmurs to you, “Hey, what’s going on? Y/n are you okay? Your face is burning up.” You remain silent as you try to think of anything to say, so Suga nods to Daichi as he starts to pull you away from the crowd.

Suga guides you through a large set of heavy spruce doors before leading you out into a small garden. The cool night air helps to calm the rush of heat coating your face and neck, and Suga takes a deep breath in before sighing it out slowly.

“What was all that back there?” Suga asks quietly as you sit down on a long bench on the side of the garden. You avert your eyes away from him as you fiddle with the layers of tool from your black dress.

“Y/n?” Suga asks as he leans down to you, resting one arm on the bench next to you, caging you to the bench with just his body. He brings his other hand up to cup your cheek, bringing your eyes to meet his. You gulp at the warmth of his touch, even though you feel shivers down your spine.

Suga’s expression is anything but harsh though, there is only concern and care in his eyes as he gazes down at you. You open your mouth to answer him but you are left with silence hanging in the air. Suga tries to give you an encouraging smile, allowing his hand to drop from your face to grab one of your hands.

“You know you can tell me anything, Y/n. I’m your best friend.” But I want to be more. The words were left hanging on his tongue, but you didn’t know any different because you were so caught up in your own head.

“I uh, yeah, thanks Suga. I guess I just got lost in thought and zoned out for a minute,” your murmur as you look down at his hand on yours. Best friend. That’s what Suga was to you, a best friend, a study partner, your everything.

“Suga, I-” “Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Tonight is about having fun, so we don’t have to get too much into this, okay?” Suga cuts you off gently, squeezing your hands reassuringly before reaching behind you to pluck a rose from the bush near your head.

He carefully peels the thorns off quickly before he turns back to you, sliding the brilliant red rose behind your ear with a soft caress to your cheek. He gives you a slight smirk before he shifts his weight and murmurs, “I meant it earlier. You really do look gorgeous tonight, Y/n.”

You blush under his watchful gaze, and you can see his eyes trail over your whole face, even going as far as to take a step back to look at you in your dress. He lets a cheeky whistle slide from his lips as he looks at you fondly, and this time you are at a loss for words because of the way he’s looking at you.

He’s never looked at you like this before.

It was quiet in the car, no music, no hushed whispers, just hanging silence. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but you could feel some tension between you and Suga. 

You were feeling a lot of things after the way he looked at you, but he brushed the situation off fairly quickly, lending you a hand before whisking you back to the party where his friends were waiting.

Suga helped carry the train on your dress as you made your way up to your room, only a few words being passed between the two of you to keep the dress in the best shape possible.

Once you made it comfortably inside the room you turned to Suga, a faint blush coating your cheeks as he unbuttoned the silver-colored vest that was wrapped so neatly around his torso.

“Hey Suga,” you mumble, hands clenching at your sides as you inwardly groan. He turns to you quickly before murmuring back, “Yeah?”

You shuffle closer to him before turning your back to him and saying over your shoulder, “Could you unzip me? I don’t think I can reach it.”

Suga just nods, and he has to clear his throat and mind to keep his thoughts from straying. His mind was tired and he could make a fool of himself if he wasn’t careful.

One of Suga’s warm hands rests on your waist as a brace, and the other hand uses its nimble fingers to slowly slide the zipper down your back. Suga’s breath catches in his throat for a second, his hands lingering longer than they should have.

He can’t help the way he’s looking at you when you turn to face him. His eyes are blown out wide, full of some unknown emotion as he looks over you. Suddenly it clicks in your head.

He’s giving you the same look he gave you in the garden. It’s an intricate look, one of many layers, the first and most outward one being happiness. Then, maybe some adoration and giddiness. But the final depth to it, you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

You turn to fully face him, opening your mouth to speak before he spits out, “You can have the bathroom first, I’ll uhm, I’ll get changed out here.”

You give him a nod before shuffling over to your suitcase and grabbing your pajamas before slipping into the bathroom. Once the door shuts behind you, a shaky sigh leaves your lips as you lean up against the door.

Fuck, what was that just then?

You get changed as quickly as you can, hanging the dress on its hanger before jumping in the shower. Once you take a quick shower, you wipe your makeup off and comb through your hair. You splash some cool water on your face to help you clear your thoughts, and you lock eyes with yourself in the mirror.

I’ve got to be honest with myself. Something is going on here, and I’m not really sure what it is. I can’t deny it, I like him. I like him a whole hell of a lot. I just can’t ruin this…

You shake your head to try to rid yourself of your lingering thoughts before you walk back out into the main living area of the hotel room. At first, you don’t notice where Suga is at, but then when you catch sight of him, a flush is filling your cheeks before you can help it.

Suga’s back was facing you, but it was very much a shirtless back, and while you had seen him shirtless after practices or even when you were swimming in his pool, this was different. This was domestic, there wasn’t anyone else between you two.

You squeak as you drop your phone, the small rectangle cracking against your foot in your stupor of Suga’s back muscles. He turns around quickly at your cry, and you avert your eyes to the floor to pick up your phone, trying to relax the rapid beating of your heart in your chest.

When you look up, Suga is pulling on a shirt, but you still manage to see the nice set of muscles set upon his toned torso. You wander over to your suitcase, putting away your toothbrush and other small items before glancing over at him.

Suga was already looking at you and he quips out, “Why’s your face all red? Did you use up all the hot water?” You just giggle to try to cover your butt, and he joins in as you nod, “Yeah, you know me too well, Suga.”

The rest of the evening slides by rather silently, with you scrolling through your phone before giving up and trying to sleep. Suga, however, is sitting at the desk next to his bed, reading one of the books he packed. He even had his reading glasses on so he could dim the light a little more for you, in hopes you would be able to fall asleep.

After 30 minutes of tossing and turning you shuffle up and whisper out, “Suga? Do you think you could lay with me? I can’t seem to fall asleep.” When Suga looks up from his book at you, your hair is slightly mussed from your constant motion, and your t-shirt is just barely hanging off your shoulder.

You looked as exhausted as he felt. He just gives a tired smile before nodding and placing his book down. He slides his glasses off before rubbing at his tired eyes, flicking the lamp off as he stands up.

Suga walks over to the side of your bed closest to his, so that if you wanted him to move to his own bed, it would be less of a hazard in the darkness. You pull the covers back for him, and soon enough Suga is settling down next to you, laying flat on his back.

You roll over onto your side to face him, and in the darkness, you can see his eyes twinkling from the lights of the city behind him. You whisper into the darkness, “Thanks for inviting me on this trip, Suga. It means a lot, you know. I’m not one who grew up with all the fancy things you have, so this was a true experience for me. Thank you.”

You can hear a tired chuckle from Suga as he whispers back to you, “No, Y/n. Thank you for coming with me. Don’t know what I would have done without you today.”

You just smile to yourself at his words, your heart fluttering a little more as you hear him softly groan as he fluffs his pillow before flopping down again. You blink once before closing your eyes and murmuring, “Goodnight, Suga.”

A quiet, “Goodnight, Y/n,” is the only response you hear before you are pulled under by sleep. Except you missed the silent thought floating around in Suga’s head.

I love you.

A soft beam of glowing sunlight is what wakes you up, the ray shining brightly into your face as it slid past the parted curtain. You blink your eyes a few times to allow them to adjust to the light, and you are confused for a second at how heavy the blanket feels around you.

Said heavy blanket groans softly in your ear as he too squints at the light filling the room. Suga’s arm was wrapped firmly around your waist, pulling you close to his broad chest. This had you waking up fast, because the fact that your best friend was most definitely spooning you right now was a little jarring.

A groggy but deep grumble of “G’morning” falls from Suga’s lips as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Warm puffs of air from his nose land on your skin, and you shiver at the goosebumps that rise on your arms and legs.

Suga shuffles a little more, tightening his grip around you as he mumbles, “You cold, Y/n? I’m roasting right now.” You giggle at his words before turning around in his arms, a whine leaving his lips as you shuffle around.

“Good morning, Suga,” you whisper as he blinks sleepily at you, large brown eyes soft in his morning glow. “Good morning, Y/n,” he says back with a dopey grin, a slight flush covering his cheeks at your close proximity.

You push on his chest with a gentle shove and another giggle as you murmur, “You said that already, you dork.” Suga just chuckles along with you and says, “I guess I’m not used to waking up next to you. We’ve been best friends for how long now and we’ve never had to share a bed?”

You both laugh at his words, enjoying each other’s company for another quiet minute before Suga’s phone starts ringing. Suga rolls onto his back with a loud groan, his arms and legs making a large starfish across the bed, pushing you off in his haste.

You cough a few times as you glare up at him, and Suga just points to his phone and mouths, “Sorry, I need to take this.” He grabs a pair of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom without another word.

The soft noise of the shower turning on alerts you that it was safe to get changed, so you pulled on a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater before scrolling through your phone as you waited for Suga.

The day itself wasn’t meant to be super exciting, Suga had gotten an extra day in Manhattan for you to sightsee and go shopping. The flight to Japan was leaving that night though, and it was the last flight leaving for the night so you couldn’t miss it.

Suga allows you to drag him around the city, taking pictures at small cafes and huge signs here or there for your family back home. There was one building that had pretty brickwork and you asked Suga if he wanted to take a selfie with you.

He took the selfie on his phone, he had the better camera after all. You both smiled at the camera with large grins before Suga started counting down, “3… 2…. 1… ” and on what should have been cheese, he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your cheek instead.

You tried not to think about the lingering feeling of his lips on your cheek as you ask him to send you the photo. Little do you know, he saved it as his lock screen while he was waiting for your phone to receive the picture.

After getting dinner at a small and locally owned restaurant, Suga begins pulling you toward the hotel. You both pack up your suitcases and bags, and before you knew it you were boarding the same jet that had taken you to the states.

The sky was pitch black as the plane ascended upwards, and you find yourself burying your face into your hands as you adjust to the feeling of being thousands of feet in the air. Suga was sitting next to you quietly, writing something in his journal about the event and talking to the CEOs.

The silence isn’t necessarily comfortable, there’s nothing except for the sound of the flight, and you can’t help but feel like you need to say something. You shuffle in your seat for a second, trying to get comfortable on the large cushion underneath you without bumping into Suga.

“Hey, Suga?” you ask softly, trying to not bug him if he was writing something important. He finishes writing whatever thought he had before turning to you, one hand coming up to rest against his cheek as he regards you.

“Yeah?” he prompts as he looks over your form, your hands clenching together as if you were unsure if what you were going to say was okay or not.

You turn to face him a little more, and you stare directly into his brown eyes as you say, “Thank you, again for taking me on this trip. I really had a lot of fun, and it was great to see Daichi and Asahi again. Noya and Tanaka too of course...”

Your words start to fade in Suga’s head as he gazes upon you. The lights from the city were shining brightly against the night sky behind you, lighting up the hair around you like a golden halo. The soft and warm-toned lights from inside the plane made your (colored) eyes sparkle, and suddenly, all Suga could think about was you.

He thought about all the times he tried to ask a girl out on a date, but they all rejected him because they thought he had a girlfriend. Suga was always so confused, he was hurt by the fact that no one wanted to date the rich kid, no one even tried to mooch off of him.

And it was because everyone knew he had you. You were always by his side, eating lunch next to him, walking to class with him, getting rides home in the winter because he didn’t want you walking home in the snow.

He had fallen so utterly and deeply in love with you over the years, and he was ready to toss it all out of the window with his next action.

Slowly but confidently, Suga brings his right hand up to cup your cheek, allowing his hand to glide behind your head. He leans in, eyes soft but determined. You didn’t understand what was going on at first, allowing your words to slowly drift off as Suga was the only thing you could think of.

His left hand finds a place on your waist, pulling you gently toward him as his head starts to tilt to the right. Your heart starts beating faster in your chest as butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

Suga was giving you all the time if you so desired to pull away, but he was pleasantly surprised when you leaned in, lips parting ever so slightly as you shut your eyes.

His lips felt like fire and ice all at once, burning and freezing as the air left your lungs. Kissing Suga was like eating a meal after fasting for weeks on end. He felt so much like home it almost scared you.

Suga’s lips move against yours at a bruising pace, letting you set the tone of the passionate kiss. You hear a slight groan from Suga when you brush your tongue against his bottom lip. He takes charge quickly though, his tongue chasing after yours playfully.

You try to battle him for dominance, your hands sliding across his chest before rising to tug on his hair. Suga takes this chance to tug gently on your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away slowly, chest heaving from the weight behind the kiss.

You lean forward quickly though, press a soft peck on his lips before he pulls you close, leaning your forehead against his while you both catch your breath. No words are shared for a second as you both regain somewhat normal breathing, and this time you notice the flush on Suga’s cheeks.

You can see the city lights reflecting on his face as he looks at you, eyes blown wide with surprise and happiness, and definitely something else.

It’s the look he gave you in the garden, and it’s the look he gave you when he helped you out of your dress. This time, words start to come to mind to describe the look he’s giving you.

It’s tender and sweet. It’s fond and warm. It’s so Suga. It’s so… intimate.

You go to say something, but Suga beats you to it as he reaches for your hand. Suga swallows thickly and then says, “Y/n, I- I'm sorry, I don’t know what came over me, but hear me out okay?”

You open your mouth to interject, but you decide against it and give him a nod. He takes a deep breath and squeezes your hand ever so slightly, his own shaking slightly at his sudden nerves.

“Y/n, I know we have been best friends for a long time, and I really have enjoyed our friendship, and I mean it. But, I can’t deny it any longer,” he looks down at your hands before looking you square in the eyes.

“I am in love with you, and I have been for years now. I tried to play it off as sisterly love, because we were practically raised together. But I couldn’t deny the way my chest would flutter when yet another girl would turn me down for one reason and one reason only, you.”

You blink in surprise for a second, but Suga continues, “I couldn’t help but feel mad when jocks from the soccer team would try to ask you to the spring formal. I thought it was because I am your best friend, but I love you more than that.”

You give him a smile back, a warm feeling spreading over your body as you manage to choke out, “I love you to Suga, and not just in the best friend kind of way.”

Relief and joy flood Suga’s face, and you almost swore you saw tears gather at the edges of his eyes. He flushes softly before murmuring, “Can I kiss you again?”

You give him a gentle nod before he pulls you onto his lap, holding you close to his toned chest before leaning forward and kissing you like his life depended on it.

And on that flight, city lights against the midnight sky became an ambient background as the two of you discovered what you had been missing out on for all these years.

[nuggets-and-french-fries]

Julie Egerton: Punishment!

Chapter Five:

===

Mondays were the worst for Julie because that meant that she would have to go to school. She groaned as she threw the covers over her head in the hopes that she would be invisible. To her dismay, Y/N walked in. "Julie, time to get up and get ready for school." Y/N  said as she opened the little girl's drapes. Julie didn't answer. "Julie." Y/N said again as she gently shook the child. Still the girl didn't budge. "Julianne, up now please." Y/N repeated for the third time as she pulled the covers off of Julie. Julie looked at her mother. "Your father is bringing your breakfast this morning." The woman said as she got up and left the little bean alone. All of a sudden, a lightbulb went off in Julie's head.

"Morning Dais." Taron said as he entered the room. Julie let out a strained cough and contorted her face in mock pain. "You trying to mess with daddy again?" He asked as the girl shook her head. Taron put the breakfast tray down on the little table beside the bed and sat down next to his daughter on the bed. She just laid there looking at him. He looks back at her and pulled one of his goofy faces which in turn makes Julie mad. 

She grunted at him and buried her head into her pillows. Taron knew that she was faking at that point. "You little trickster you. You are too clever for your own good." He said as he tickled her. "Stop." Julie said through a fit of giggles. "Eat up and then get ready for school. Ok?" Taron said as he got up and exited the room.

"Is she eating?" Y/N asked as her husband entered the kitchen. Taron looked at her but didn't say anything. He gave her a look similar to the one that he gave his daughter a few minutes ago. Y/N groaned. "Not again." She whined. Taron hugged her and Julie came down clad in her school uniform. "Julianne Rosemary, did you fake sick again?" Y/N asked with authority. "Oh no! I'm gonna be late! And the headmistress is the substitute teacher today and we have a quiz and she might punish me real bad! And I'm no good with numbers, I'll fail for sure." Julie explained quickly. Taron gave his daughter a sympathetic look. 

"Come on Dais, let's go." He said as he grabbed his wallet and car keys and held his hand out for Julie to take.

Taron got Julie settled into the seat next to him and then got himself situated in the car. As they drove down the road, Julie spoke up. "Daddy, can you sing to me please?" Julie asked. "Of course." He replied as he started to sing. Bean smiled as the sound of his voice soothed her. By the time that Taron had finished singing the song, they had arrived at the school. "Alright my love, have a great day." He said as Julie took her seatbelt off and hugged him. "love you." She replied as she got out of the car. Julie walked toward her classroom but started to get frazzled when she realized that she had forgotten where it was. Taron saw this from the car and decided to park the car and offer to walk with her. "Want me to walk with you Cariad?" He asked as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She nodded. "Yes please daddy." She replied softly as she took hold of his hand. When they got to the classroom, Taron said goodbye to her one last time and walked back to the car.

Julie walked into the room and was met with Mrs. R's intense gaze. The little girl scampered to her seat and Mrs. R started the lesson. "In today's lesson, we will be doing a math quiz." Mrs. Rodriguez said as she handed the children their math sheets. "You have 35 minutes to complete the test. The time starts now." The woman spoke as she looked down at her watch. Julie looked down at the paper and felt like crying as was scared that she would fail the test. The test took Julie a little longer to complete as the words seemed to jumble, making it hard for the little nugget to concentrate. Once she was finished with he quiz, she looked up and saw that everyone was staring at her, including the principal. Julie's face went red and she shrunk down in her seat a little bit. "Now that Miss Egerton is finished, we can now mark our tests." The woman spoke harshly as she wrote the answers on the white board at the front of the room. This caused Julie to become even more frazzled than she was before. The words continued to jumble and Julie gave up on marking her test.

"Let's go around the room and share our score with everyone." Mrs. R said as she looked pointedly at Julie. "Suzie, we will start with you." Mrs. R continued. "20/20." Suzie gloated. One by one, the students told the class what their score was. "Julie, what's your score?" The teacher spoke as crossed her arms in distain. "Um." Julie squeaked out. "Are you a mouse Julie?" Mrs. R asked. Julie's eyes grew wide and glossy with fear. "0/20." The little bean whispered.  Mrs. Rodriguez huffed. Julie spoke louder and the teach scoffed. Just before the teacher could say anything more, the bell rang for lunch. "Julie, stay behind. Everyone else may go." The teacher said, denying the poor girl any lunch. Julie stayed in her seat and started shaking in fear. "Follow me." The woman spoke plainly. Julie followed slowly behind. They walked to the janitor's office and Mrs. R knocked on the door. "Good morning Mrs. Rodriguez." The man spoke. "John, Julie here is going to help you clean the boys restroom." She spoke as Julie looked at her in shock. The janitor smiled and Mrs. R took her leave.

"Well kid, it looks like it's just you and me." John spoke. Julie nodded in sadness. They walked to the back of the office and the janitor armed Julie with gloves, a coat incase of splashes and a mask to place over her mouth to protect her lungs from the harsh chemicals. The nugget felt so humiliated and just wanted the ground to swallow her whole. Once they arrived at the boys restroom, Julie just stood there not wanting to move. "Come on kid. It's not that bad." The janitor spoke as he nudged the girl forward.

When everything was clean, Julie was allowed to go back to class. Thankfully it was free time which meant that she could draw or read and do something to get her mind off of having to clean the disgusting sight that was the boys restroom. When she was back in class, she grabbed a book on boats and a sketch pad and sat at her desk. Julie decided to draw a little sail boat on water with birds in the sky. 

Just as she was colouring in the water, Freddy, Johnny and Suzie snatched the picture and started mocking her. "This is stupid." Suzie teased. "No it's not." Julie defended. "Yes it is. You can't draw right." Freddy and Johnny joined in. This continued until free time was over. The rest of the day went alright but all Julie wanted was to go home and see her father.

Finally the home bell rang. Julie grabbed her crumpled up picture and her school bag and made a beeline for the bus stop. When the bus pulled up in front of her house, Julie grabbed her bag and rushed off. She ran up to her father who was waiting on the front step for her. "How was school Cariad?" T asked as he and Julie walked into the house. "Fine I guess." Bean sighed. "Just fine?" He asked as they walked into the kitchen so that Julie could clean out her lunch box. Julie nodded and placed the box on the counter and left her father to clean it while she went upstairs and get changed. She took her sweet time and getting changed and by the time she was done, her mother was home. "Baby girl, mum's home." Taron called from the bottom of the staircase. Julie's footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. "Hi Julie, how was school?" Y/N asked as she hugged her daughter. "It was fine." Julie replied softly. Y/N looked at her husband and gave him a look. He smiled at his wife. "Dinner is ready you two." Taron said after a few minutes. "It smells so good babe." Y/N replied as she helped Julie get settled at the table.

"I'm not hungry." Julie said as she played with her food. "Honey, you need to eat." Y/N warned as the little girl groaned. "Come on." Y/N said again. As Julie picked up her fork and stabbed a carrot, she felt cold and sick to her stomach. She put her fork down and stood up. "I don't feel well." Julie said as she clutched her stomach. "Julianne, sit down." Y/N said. Before she could sit down, Julie threw up. Taron jumped up and so did Y/N. "Julie." Y/N moaned as she herself started to gag. "Y/N go upstairs, I'll take care of this." Taron said as he picked Julie up and sat her on the sofa with a bowl just in case she threw up again. He cleaned everything up and went back to Jules.

"Come here Cariad." Taron said as he picked the little one up and held her close to him. She cried as he softly sang hey Jules (hey Jude but changing Jude to Jules.) to her. Once she had calmed down, Taron spoke up. "You want to tell me what happened at school today?" He asked as the girl looked at him. His heart broke for her. "I got extra homework and had to clean the boys loo today." Julie stuttered. "What? Why?" The father asked. "I failed my math test." She admitted as she laid her head on his chest again. Taron was furious and couldn't believe that she would be punished for failing a test, let alone be given that punishment.

He continued to comfort his peanut until he was sure that she was calm. "Let's put you to bed." He said as he stood up with the bean still safe in his arms. He carefully placed her on her bed and tucked her in. "Goodnight sweet girl, sleep well." He whispered. "Daddy, can you stay with me?" She asked. He nodded and crawled in beside her and soon enough, Julie was asleep.

===

@anywaythewind13lows @juliebeanegerton

[byigoose-blog]

Monocle, part 1. “Clyde and Bennie’s”

The day started off like any other my mum was standing on the balcony of the apartment just staring with that monocle on, she grew up in a fancy house where those things were common it was like an heirloom or some shit. She would wear it most times and people always gave her weird stares who wouldn’t?

“Morning Gabriel did you sleep well?” She asked when I walked in. She hadn’t said it in a friendly way she always wanted me to find a house. She said it would be easier for you if you had your own house. I did sort of agree my mum did some weird things she had some sort of laboratory in one of the rooms and she had a room that was constantly locked which I could hear her in sometimes. Also sometimes when I come home I find a bunch of stuff on the ground the floor would be covered in all sorts of shit vases not all intact, pillows that were torn I once found a green substance on the ground that I could only describe as smelling like a dead rat. I have a theory that my mum is a hit man or some shit or an assassin and brings her targets to our apartment for some reason. It’s a shitty theory I know but come on There was knife holes in the walls of my bedroom one day.

“Fine I’m just gonna head out okay?” I worked at a local fast food restaurant called Clyde and Bennie's. They sold the average thing you would expect from a fat food restaurant. It wasn’t busy most days and I liked that, that’s why I chose to work there.

“Okay, but Gabriel? Can you not come home right away afterwards? I have..... Friends over.” She was doing something I knew she had no friends because she never left the house all she did all day was make “alternative medicine” which she sold at the shop downstairs to Abbey. Abbey was the only person that mum talked too except me. The reason for that was she’s also fucking insane like my mum. Sometimes I see her eating raw meat when she comes over for dinner she gives me chicken and her uncooked chicken it’s weird, and she never get’s sick at all.

“Alright mum I’ll go and do something with Adam.” Adam was my friend. We have known each other for a couple of years since the end of secondary school through college. His dad was super rich but Adam didn’t act rich which I think meant he was insecure about being the guy who bought his way into a college because there was no way he could have made his way into it any other way, his dad payed extra for him to be top of the waiting list, I only got in because I did some quiz that gave me a scholarship I can’t remember it was like 5 years ago.

“Okay bye Gabriel!” She shouted as I walked out the door. Clyde and Bennie's was only a ten minute walk from the apartment so I made it there fairly quickly. The day went fairly normally some annoying customers came in, There was one woman who was nearly the size of a fucking car so I have no idea how she got here unless she walked which I seriously doubt and there were some weirdo’s that normally come in. Of course the weirdos were always directed to me so I had a lot of fun. One was a guy in a suit, tie and a top hat who was a common sight here even though it was obvious he was loaded or trying to look that way, My coworkers didn’t like him that much because she was always saying he wanted one thing then changing his mind, but I kind of liked him he was funny in a laughing at him sort of way he also had weird English accent. Another was girl with the biggest eye bags and she wore the same purple with black stripes jumper she looked like she never got any sleep she was also a regular I think she worked across the road at a hotel I think she was a janitor, me and her were friends... kind of she had introduced herself to me when I was working the late shift she said her name was Nancy and she apparently came here to listen to the radio we had playing. When she came in all she ordered was an ice cream which is all she ever did and would keep doing that until closing. Final weirdo was a new one, he was a guy covered in tattoos and I mean covered his entire face was tattoos he was also massive he was bigger than anyone I had ever met before, he was like 9-10ft tall, but the really weird thing was he had an realistic looking sheep skull on his fucking shoulder he was wearing it like a shoulder pad I couldn’t stop staring. He also ordered a kids meal to go and nothing else I was terrified of him  I don’t know who wouldn’t be scared of a 10ft man covered in tattoos with a sheep skull on his shoulder. Luckily he was gone fairly quickly but it was the longest time ever he was breathing really heavily and grunting sometimes. He had to bend down to fit through the door.

Finally after eight long hours I could leave after all the late shifters arrived. I grabbed my phone and called Adam telling him to come pick me up and take me to his house. He agreed which was usually the case as my mum most nights asked me to come home later than usual which meant wait until 7pm so I normally hung out with Adam until then. I just stood outside the restaurant when after 5 minutes Nancy came out.

“They stopped playing the radio channel I like inside so I came out why are you still here didn’t you leave?” She said this all in one sentence not changing tone once and having a completely dead pan face on her.

“Yeah my mum said I couldn’t come home for a couple of hours so I’m waiting for a friend here.” I replied.

“Oh okay don’t get stabbed out here.” She said as she walked away I didn’t even get a chance to say good bye she was eating an ice cream as she walked away.

After around 10 minutes more of waiting I saw Adams car at the top of the street and I was so glad while I didn’t take Nancy’s advice seriously I seriously thought I would get stabbed if I was out here any longer.

“Hey Gabe how’s it going?” He asked as he pulled up in his Mercedes E class, I couldn’t even dream of affording that kind of car but of course Adam could he worked at his dad’s tech company that developed shit like robots, guns, phones and laptops, cars and everything else you could imagine, they were developing a hover board at the moment. Now not to be rude but Adam could not make any of these things of course he couldn’t he was a test subject which to be fair was a nearly impossible job to get in the company he was extremely lucky to get the chance to do that.

“Not much I’ve just been standing in the same spot for a couple of hours serving people food.” I said sarcastically.

“Well come on get some scientist wants me to do a thing and I asked if you could help and he said sure you’ll even get paid.” I looked at him confused

“How much?” I asked I was curious because I knew the company had some very dangerous thing at it and if I was getting paid £100 to risk my life I would have to decline.

“£5000 Come on!” I instantly jumped in the car and we went straight to the building. It was a huge tower with the logo of the company on it HyV co. (it’s pronounced like high v encase your wondering) He led me into the lift and up to the 37th floor and into a room with a window in it standing on our side of the glass was a man in a lab coat and on the other side was a forest? I guess it looked like it.

“Ah yes hello! boys I heard you two were in the business to enter my experimentation room?” He spoke with a thick German accent. Of course the first scientist I met was a German scientist who looked like Dr. Frankenstein.

“Yeah me and Gabe want to go in there and do whatever you want us to do.” Adam replied without me having time to consider.

“Alright good I have put a specimen in the environment and would like you two to retrieve it.” He said handing us a rifle.

“Specimen?” I said looking at the rifle.

“Yeah they do experimentation on animals now Gabe didn’t I tell you?” Adam said already walking towards the forest I was surprised but I followed after him. I would do anything for 5 grand if it meant I could have a chance to get away from my mum I would do anything.

We walked in and didn’t say anything to each other I had no idea what kind of “specimen” they need us to retrieve but I was sweating. Around half an hour was spent just walking around the forest I don’t know why they spent that much money to make an environment this big to keep only one thing which I still had no idea what it was. I suddenly heard a sound from behind me it was branches snapping I tapped Adam on the shoulder and told him

“Holy shit dude I think somethings back there fucking hell.” I whispered. He could hear it as well.

“It’s fine.” He said as we looked around.

Suddenly from one of the bushes out came a fox that just walked up to us and stared at use. Adam the continued to shoot it with the rifle that fired a tranquilliser at the fox it fell down almost immediately I felt kind of bad as we brought it back. We gave it back to scientist, he gave us the 5 grand and we left I checked the time it was only 6:15 but I wanted to go home so I arrived home at 6:45 which was only 15 minutes early I’m sure mum would be done by now. Oh how I wish I hadn’t came over at all. When I walked in I saw my mum lying on the ground bleeding with claw marks on her side I ran over and tried to tried to talk to her.

“Mum what happened?” I asked while also typing in my phone pin.

“No time to explain Gabriel. You need to listen.” She said as I was calling 999.

I finished the call while my mum was tugging on me to listen but I couldn’t I had to get help. After I had done she grabbed me by my collar.

“Listen Gabriel the ambulance won’t be able to help me I’m going to die I need you to listen.”

“What?” I said feeling threatened by an injured 55 year old woman.

“This monocle is special” She said as she passe it to me.”It can help you see things normal people can’t see with their eyes.” I gave her a confused look as I had known that monocles helped people see did she think I was an idiot?

“I know what monocles do mum.” I said hoping she would calm down and stop moving while the blood was pouring out of her.

“You’re not getting it idiot!” She shouted.”Point it at Abbey some day and that’ll show you what I mean.” I knew Abbey and mum were insane but I never knew they were this insane.”There are books in the room that’ll help you just trust me. Please.”

“But it’s locked.” I said as she slowly stopped moving.

“You’ll get the key soon enough.” She said as she completely stopped moving.

“Mum!” I shouted as I heard the ambulance outside at this point Abbey had came and was looking in she seemed shocked. I waited for the ambulance as they came in and brought her as quickly as they could to the hospital.

But I knew it was too late anyway...

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodauthor]

What happens next? pt 8 (Avengers x teen!reader)

Wooh! So sorry for the long wait, I know as a reader of fanfiction that it is a bit discouraging when the writer does not update for a while. But I just wanted to say a huge thanks to anyone that has read this series or has taken the time to comment, every bit means so much to me. It took a while to update because I lost passion for the story but I didn’t want to leave you on a cliffhanger. That said, you are more than welcome to take this idea and the characters and write your own stories but I would love to be tagged in them! :) Thank you to everyone who reads this!

What happens next? pt 1    What happens next? pt 2

What happens next? pt 3    What happens next? pt 4

What happens next? pt 5    What happens next? pt 6

What happens next? pt 7

Masterlist

Synopsis: THE FINALE WOOH! The prank is one to remember and there may be a little retribution coming to the home of a certain barbie ;)

It had been many late nights of planning fueled by caffeine and sugar. The Solstice Ball was finally arriving. In a couple of days the prank would be over. The plan was set. On the night, you and Charlie would enter the ball and then ‘coincidentally’, you would both go to the toilets at the same time. Here was the smart part. The school had one of those air systems with the big man sized vents. They went all around the school. In the bathrooms there were little vents that you and Charlie were going to climb through.

One could be thinking; why the hell are you both running around James Bonding this shit up when you could just walk around like normal humans.

Well, unfortunately, with all the past pranks that had happened, even the Solstice Ball was being supervised. And by supervised, they really meant it. In every sense of the word. The doors to the rest of the school were going to be locked and there were security guards hired to walk around the perimeter of the school. Luckily, you and Charlie would already be inside but, the sprinkler system was in the boiler room. Which would be inside the school. Which was locked off. Which also couldn’t be entered from outside the school because of the guards.

So for the sake of the prank, you and Charlie were about to be turned into vent system cleaners for the night. There was so. Much. Dust.

You had picked out your outfit a few weeks before the ball, it was this F/C dress/ F/C suit that you had found at this old store. You had also been with Charlie when he had his suit fitted. It had been a birthday present from his mum.

You walked out of your bedroom, the walls finally having been decorated with posters and pictures, and entered the common room. Tony and Charlie both smiled when you walked in.

“You look great Y/N,” Charlie hugged you.

You exhaled a nervous breath, “Thanks, Charlie,” smiling, you continued, “you look amazing too The tailer did a great job.”

Charlie did a mock twirl and curtsy, pulling a laugh from you and Tony.

Tony stepped forward, his eyes twinkling happily. “I”m proud of you, Y/N, I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but you have been so brave and strong. And, you can’t prove that I said this, but good luck with your prank.” You and Charlie both thanked Tony. Natasha came running in with a camera and flashed you three smiling together before you could blink. Tony yelled after her and with a quick goodbye ran off in pursuit of the Black Widow.

You and Charlie looked at each other and laughed, leaving to go to the ball.

The theme of this year was ‘movies’ and yes, you may not have followed that theme and actually gotten an outfit from a movie. But you were pretty confident that you could improvise, should anyone ask.

Entering the school’s hall, The walls were covered with posters from the latest releases on one wall, as well as older classics on another. There was space for dancing, surrounded by tables of various colours. Red ones with hearts all over them, black and white ones with bullet casings in the middle, yellow and blue ones with smiles everywhere. The music playing was quiet, the atmosphere not at the dancing level yet. Everyone was still coming, the room slowly filling. Teachers were at stations around the room, chaperoning. You spied Miss Fletcher at the punch table, eyeing it to make sure that no one spiked it. The senior class a few years back had gotten way too out of control when one student decided to liven things up.

The opening announcement, by the lovely Stacy Bryers, just the all round angel of sucking up while simultaneously flipping all the teachers off behind their backs, was short and far from sweet in your eyes. Although, in your opinion, nothing was sweet about Stacy. You looked up from your knife, contemplating suddenly picking up knife throwing, and caught Charlie’s eyes. He pointed to his watch. You both stood up and headed to the toilets. Once you were in, you looked for the vent on the walls. It was pretty high up, but if you stood on one of the sinks, you could reach it. You had a screwdriver in your bag and the map that would lead you to the boiler room, along with a small torch.

The problem would be if anyone needed to use the toilet, so you had to work fast. You placed your foot on the sink and placed your hand on the wall to brace yourself. You grabbed the screwdriver and began to unscrew the grate. Sweat was threatening to break out as your heart beat a mile a minute, the adrenaline pouring through your body at the thought of being caught. You heart was thumping in your head, almost masking the sound of the door opening as you unscrewed the last screw. You launched yourself to the ground just as the door opened.

Stacy, Brianna and Jess sauntered in, laughing about some superficial joke one of them had made. You froze, shoving the screwdriver away just as they finally noticed you. Stacy’s eyes lit up, a smirk forming on her face as she placed her bag on one of the sinks, careful not to wreck her nails.

“Fitting that you’d be in here,” Stacy remarked casually. You smiled internally at the thought of Charlie’s uncle coming later to arrest those ‘chosen few’. That was one of the things that was stopping you from launching yourself at Stacy and not the floor this time. Jaw clenched, you prayed that the grate wouldn’t come crashing down.

You tried to think of something that would get Stacy out of the room quickly. Nada. Your brain short circuited and came up blank. Like staring down at an english test without having read the material, or when the video buffers. The barbie queen took this as a sign of weakness. Show no mercy.

“Is that outfit one of your parent’s?” she leaned in conspiratorially, “looks to me like it should have been crushed under all that rubble,” Her face belayed nothing, just that same fake smile plastered on. “Hell, if your parent’s dressed like that, maybe they should have died!” Jess and Brianna nodded in silent agreement.

But you, you were fuming. Something inside you snapped and you stepped right up to Stacy. Surprisingly, you were not that much shorter than her, only by an inch or so. You glared at her.

“You know what, Stacy? I’m done with this. Whatever you have against me, whatever the fuck, you think is a good excuse to torment me day in and day out, I’d love to hear it. Unless, it’s all about you as usual,” you put on a questioning expression, “is it trouble at home?”

Stacy’s eyes flickered and you paused for the briefest moment. Shock ran through your mind before the mindless anger took over again. “Even if your house life is shit, you have no right, no right. At. All. To harass me every day. I swear to you, if you don’t fuck off, I will make your life miserable, don’t think I don’t have proof of all the things that you’ve sent me. There is still such a thing as a paper trail these days,” you smirked, “not to mention that Tony Stark is my legal guardian,”

That moment would be one for the hall of fame. You would be telling this story for years to come. The look of pure shock on Stacy’s face was the best thing that you could have ever been gifted with. If only you could have recorded it.

Jess stepped forward menacingly, preparing to give you a makeover in the form of a black eye with the help of her fists. Before she could achieve that masterful art piece though, Stacy’s voice stopped her. Jess turned to look at her.

“She just insulted you and you want me to just leave it?”

Stacy picked up her bag, nails long forgotten, “We have better things to do than be here with this low life,” And with that, Stacy turned on her heel and left. Soon followed by the rest of team barbie.

Seconds of silence went by before you jumped in the air, fist bumping in victory. You yelled quietly in celebration until you remembered the prank and the grate on the wall. In no time, you had removed the grate and were on your way to the boiler room. Jumping out and landing on your feet, you brushed off as much dust as you could and waited for Charlie, who arrived not a moment later.

Soon, you too had filled the water tanks with dissolvable jelly powder, turning the water a nice shade of pink. The switch for the sprinkler was marked DO NOT PRESS. Charlie held his hand above it, “Who follows those rules anyway?” You smiled as he pressed it, both of you sprinting back to the hall with a pair of keys that Charlie had managed to find in the janitors coat.

You opened the doors to find mayhem. Everyone was either running out of the hall, running for shelter under the tables, or dancing wildly under the sugary liquid. Seems like someone did manage to spike the punch after all, judging by how well these people’s motor functions were. You turned to Charlie, “Is your uncle almost here?” He nodded, pointing to one of the open doors that lead to the car park. Faint blue and red lights were flashing outside.

Charlie had given his uncle, Officer Murel, the profiles of Stacy, Jess and Brianna just incase they tried to run away from the ‘rain’ and not just hide under a table or something. Luckily, Stacy had realised that this was a prank and was yelling at people to remain calm, her ‘natural leadership’ emerging. More like the fear she put into people if they didn’t listen to her. You nodded to Charlie and he ran to turn the water system off just as his uncle entered the building.

He walked up to Stacy, with two other officers that you didn’t know. He looked at her for a few moments before speaking, just as the sprinklers stopped. “Are you Stacy Bryers?” She nodded.

“Thank God you’re here officer, there’s been a prank-“

Officer Murel interrupted her, “Yes, we can see that, but I’m here for another reason,” He stepped forward and pulled her hands into cuffs before she could protest.

“Stacy Bryers, you are under arrest for public indecency and vandalism, you have the right to remain silent, any you do or say can and will be held against you in the court of law.” Stacy’s face was bright red, the vein in her forehead popping out.

“What?! I never, I wouldn’t…What are you talking about?!” Meanwhile, the other two officers had also ‘arrested’ Jess and Brianna for the same reasons, with just about the same reactions. You were almost in tears trying to hold in your laughter at Jess’ insistance that, her father would be so angry, and Brianna’s, we are going to sue you so much that you won’t be able to afford a night’s meal.

Charlie came running in just at that moment and halted in front of his uncle. “Uncle Josh? Is that you? Oh I can’t believe it how are you!” They hugged and Stacy stood in shock before Charlie turned to her, “Oh yeah, this was all a prank but thanks for the footage!” He threw finger guns her way then pointed to the phone in your hand. You smiled and waved, stopping the recording before sprinting to Charlie’s car before Stacy could get the footage and delete it.

When you were both safely away, Charlie pulled up to the curb. You both burst out cheering in joy. The prank had worked! You thought of all the times in the future that you woule be telling this story. It would never get old in your eyes.

You hugged your best friend. “Thank you for everything, Charlie. You’ve been such an incredible help and I can’t tell you how much I love you.” Charlie smiled at your words.

“I love you too Y/N, and hey, you’ve been great as well.”

Charlie dropped you off at the Avengers tower before heading home. You stood watching him drive off before going up to your floor.

That night you sat with the Avengers and told them everything that had happened in the prank. Everyone agreed that it had been a huge success. You all laughed when you showed them the arrest video and you found yourself in tears on the floor with Clint and Natasha.

You knew that you were still healing, and it would still take time before the scars began to fade. But in that moment, you knew that this was finally your home.

Tag list: @bellero  @phonegalhelp  @rheawinchester  @rosegoldquintis  @what-the-heck-life  @denim--wrapped--nightmares

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Tutor Me

Math is evil and Harry is assigned to be your tutor. 

Quiet, nerdy Harry is a weakness of mine so I hope everyone likes this oneshot, could potentially have other parts if everyone likes it. 

My whole life I was told to enjoy high school because these were the last years I had to just be kid. It was a brief moment in time before I had to grow up so I took full advantage. My senior year started off great. I was a cheerleader, went to great parties, and got accepted into my dream school. It was all going to plan until January hit and I started my most dreaded subject. I’ll admit I barely scraped by in Math, I somehow always seemed to pull out a decent enough grade to pass the class but this time was different. Every single time I stared at a problem I just couldn’t answer it. I prayed every day in class I wouldn’t be called up to the board and work a problem in front of everyone. A month into the class and I was failing. Everything I worked for was going up in smoke due to this one stupid subject.

Even though I hated it I was glad Math was my last class of the day. My brain was fried after every lesson leaving me grateful I didn’t have to suffer through another one after it. I was almost at the door when Mr. Boroski called me aside. “Your parents will need to sign this.” He sighed passing me the quiz we just took. I wasn’t surprised to see an F at the very top. “Not your best work.”

“I know.” I grumbled, hoping he would just get the lecture over with so I could go home.

Leaning against his desk Mr. Boroski started talking again. “I know senior year is supposed to be fun and you want to live it up with your friends but you can’t neglect your studies.”

‘I’m not neglecting them, I just have no idea what the hell I’m doing.’ I thought but decided against saying it out loud. “I know, sir, I’m really trying.”

“I know you are, and it’s ok to ask for help every once and awhile which is why I assigned you a tutor.”

It felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. “A tutor?”

“Yes, don’t worry, it’s not me.” He laughed.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” A deep voice said from behind me. I knew who it was without even having to turn around.

Harry Styles was a transfer, mostly kept to himself. The only reason we knew he was from the UK was due to his accent. He came in during freshman year. Out of the whole time I’ve known him I don’t think I’ve really seen him hang out with anyone. That didn’t mean no one tried, I know several girls that had tried their best to get his attention but it never worked. For the most part Harry was alone, he seemed to want to keep it that way. “Yes, Harry, thanks for coming.” Mr. Boroski said. “You said a while ago you would like to start tutoring. Well I believe I’ve found your first pupil.”

Harry glanced at me briefly from what I could see behind his thick, black glasses. I could feel a blush creeping up on my face. Why was I suddenly so intimidated by this boy? When neither of us said anything Mr. Boroski spoke again. “You two can figure out some sort of schedule, I just want her to be prepared for the midterm.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry nodded.

“Well that would be it, you two have a good day.”

Without another word Harry left the room leaving me scurrying behind him. The hallways were empty with the exception of the janitor mopping on the other side of the hall. Harry didn’t say anything until we arrived at his locker. I waited by patiently as he pulled out his backpack. “All right, so what’s your schedule?” He asked suddenly making me jump.

“Uh, I’m all clear since football season ended.” I stammered. “You want to meet up tomorrow after school?”

He nodded once. “Meet me in the library at three thirty.”

I quickly agreed stepping aside so Harry could walk by. He didn’t look back as he walked out of the school. I was stunned. This was the first time I had ever spoken to him so I didn’t know what I expected.  One thing was for sure, I needed him if I was going to pass this class and graduate.

I had never told anyone I was failing any of my classes. My dad knew only because he was the only one I went to with a bad grade. He would sign them, tell me to do better and then send me on my way. My mom was a little bit more strict when it came to my grades. There had been plenty of lectures when it came to Math. They both knew it was my worst subject but I don’t think they knew just how bad it actually was. I was too embarrassed to tell my friends. For the most part they all did well in their classes. Sure, they weren’t A plus students but they all passed. They probably would have helped me if they knew but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them.

Before I knew it school was over and I accidentally spent too much time gossipping with one of my friends. Checking my phone I realized it was almost three forty-five. “Oh, I gotta go.” I gasped, shutting my locker quickly.

“Why? Meeting up with Travis?” Lydia asked.

I turned my head so fast I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash. “Like I would meet up with him.” Travis was on the football team. We had dated off and on since junior year until I found him making out with another girl in his car.

“Hey, I’m just saying, you haven’t dated anyone since him. I thought maybe you were going to give him another chance.”

“Absolutely not,” I cringed. “I told my grandmother I would help her with some cleaning.”

“Oh, well tell her hi for me, see you tomorrow.” She smiled before leaving me.

I hated lying to anyone, especially my best friend but what else was I gonna say? In a mad dash I ran into the library to see Harry walking towards me with his bag slung over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed earning a loud ‘shhh’ from the librarian.

Harry shook his head. “I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes. Do you think your time is more important than mine or something?”

“No, of course not, I just got caught up with a friend and lost track of time. I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again.”

I was prepared for him to brush pass me and tell me to find another tutor but instead he turned around and walked back towards a table. “You coming?” He asked over his shoulder.

Collecting myself I followed him. He sat on one side of the table with me on the other. I pulled out my book and binder while he handed me a sheet of paper. “This is just a practice quiz I made to see where you’re at.”

I stared dumbly at the questions in front of me. While Harry worked on his own homework I began his quiz. This quiz was just like the ones in class. I would stare at the paper and wish the problems would somehow solve themselves. When that didn’t happen I would try my best to answer each question but I was sure all of it was wrong.

Right as I finished the last problem I heard a phone ding. When I saw that it wasn’t mind I noticed Harry pick up his own phone. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to leave earlier than I thought.”

“Oh, is everything ok?” I asked, sort of grateful I wouldn’t have to listen to him laugh at how stupid I was when it came to this subject.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it’s fine, my Mum just reminded me we’re having people over for dinner tonight. One of her friends from work.”

As we started packing our stuff away he reached for the quiz. “I’ll look over this tonight and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, all right?”

“Ok.” I murmured, not wanting to talk about it at all.

Without really saying goodbye we left the library and went to our own cars. As I drove home I started to dread our next session. Harry probably already had some idea of how bad I was at Math but after he grades that quiz he’ll know I’m completely clueless. I didn’t want to face that kind of judgement. If Mr. Boroski assigned him to be my tutor it was because Harry was one of his best students. Now here he was tutoring me who was on the verge of failing her senior year.

When I got home I checked my phone. No surprise, I had a few text messages from Lydia asking if I wanted to go out to eat that night with the rest of the cheerleading squad. Deciding a night out would do me some good I sent back a quick reply. With a few hours to spare before we had to meet up I decided to finish up the rest of my homework. As I started working on my History notes I thought back to the library. While I tried to work out a few problems I would glance up at Harry. With us being in the same grade I had noticed him in the halls on occasion. Every girl thought he was attractive, with his looks combined with his accent it was surprising he never really had a girlfriend. I wondered why. Obviously he was smart, but what else was there to know about him?

I spent more time daydreaming than actually doing my homework. Deciding I done enough for the moment I headed out to meet up with my friends. We usually spent our time in a small cafe in the middle of town. When I got there Lydia was already at a table with a few other girls from the squad. “Ladies,” I greeted, taking a seat beside Lydia.

“So where were you after school?” Aubrey asked, I almost wished she didn’t show up. After I broke up with Travis it didn’t take long for her to ask him out. I had never been one to cause arguments so I never said anything but it still bothered me.

“I had some studying to do.” I muttered.

“I thought you were helping your grandmother?” Lydia asked.

I suddenly remembered the lie I had originally told Lydia. “Oh right, I finished early and started studying for our Anatomy test.”

None of them seemed convinced. I knew they weren’t going to let the subject go so I quickly excused myself from the table to go order a drink. I mumbled something to the barista, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my friends. Instead I sat down at the bar and waited for my drink. In the quiet cafe I heard the bell ding above the door indicating someone had entered. Looking over I saw Harry stroll in. Glancing between him and my friends I was torn from saying hi and just ignoring him like usual. None of my friends were ever rude to him but how would they react to me suddenly talking to him?

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt someone sit down next to me. I was surprised to see Harry taking up the stool beside me. “So I graded your quiz.” He whispered.

I cringed, this was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now. I knew what he was going to say and I wasn’t prepared for it. “Can we not talk about this here?” I asked.

Harry narrowed his eyes slightly. “Why not?”

I didn’t answer but I could hear Lydia call my name from our table. Before I had the chance to reply Harry nodded his head slightly. “I see, you don’t want to be seen talking to me?”

My eyes widened in surprise. “No, no that’s not it.” I stammered.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow after school.”

With that he was gone faster than he arrived. I was stunned. How did he think I wouldn’t want to be seen talking to him? I had been so out of it I hadn’t even noticed the barista place my coffee in front of me. When he cleared his throat I finally snapped out of my trance and headed back to my table. “So what’s up with you and brooding Harry Styles?” Leave it to Aubrey to get straight to the point.

“Nothing.” I said quickly.

“Oh come on, I’ve never seen the guy talk to anyone and all of a sudden you’re friends with him.”

I glanced at Lydia for some kind of help but she seemed just as interested in some kind of explanation. “Really, it’s nothing.” I muttered, taking a sip of my drink, burning my tongue preventing me from saying anything else.

Surprisingly they let the subject go. Instead Aubrey started going on and on about a guy she had met at the gym. I tuned the conversation out when Lydia joined in. I was still confused by Harry’s sudden change in attitude. As far as I knew I had never seen Harry be bullied especially by anyone I was friends with. Some girls on the cheerleading squad had even asked him out on several occasions. I just didn’t get it but I had a feeling our next tutoring session would be tense.

The next day I felt sick. Partly from having to face Harry but more than likely the stomach flu that had been going around. During Home Economics I had to run out in a panic to the bathroom. By the time I got back Mrs. Turner had already contacted the office and told them to call my parents. I was home in bed by lunch. I vaguely remember my mom telling me she had to go back to work but she would be home early if I needed her. I couldn’t keep anything down and decided to lay on the couch in the living room since it was the closest to the bathroom. At some point I fell asleep and was woken up by a loud knocking. Wrapping myself up in a blanket I trudged over to the door and opened it. My mouth fell open seeing Harry standing on my front porch. He seemed just as surprised. “Oh so you really are sick?” He questioned. “I thought you were faking to get out of tutoring.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad you think of highly of me.”

“Sorry.”

“What do you want, Harry? And please hurry, I don’t want to throw up on your shoes.”

“I just came by to give you some worksheets from Mr. Boroski, some practice problems to help with my tutoring you.”

Reaching out I took them from him. I stared dumbly at them just as I had the practice quiz. I waited for him to bring that up but he never said anything. “Harry, I’m sorry.” I muttered.

“For what?”

“Last night, I didn’t get a chance to explain.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes, yes I do.” Swallowing my pride I started talking before I could stop myself. “My friends don’t know I’m being tutored.”

“Why not?”

“I’m embarrassed, I guess, they all pass without a problem. I don’t want them to know how bad I am with this. I’m sure you already know how much I need help.”

Harry took a step closer to me. “I would never say it like that. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little help with Math.”

“Yeah, but Harry, I’m awful.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here. I’m gonna help you, just maybe not today because it looks like you’re about to fall over.”

If I looked how I felt I’m sure I looked like death warmed over. “I would appreciate it. And here.” I sighed, pulling my phone out of my hoodie pocket. “Put your number in so next time you won’t have to come here and see me look like this.”

Taking the phone I heard him laugh slightly. “You look fine, I’m just messing with you.”

A faint blush crept up my cheeks. “You don’t have to lie but I don’t want you getting sick, ok?”

After handing me the phone back he nodded once watching how I called the number he just put in, now he had mine as well. “So I’ll see you later?”

I nodded in agreement and watched as he walked down the porch steps towards his car. Once he had driven off I stepped back inside to take another nap. It was nighttime by the time I woke up. Rolling over I reached over for my phone. Only one text message was on the screen from a new number. I re-read the words over and over again knowing it was from him. ‘Feel better x.’ With just a simple message I started to feel a little better about everything going on in my life.

The next day my mom still wasn’t sure about letting me go to school. Insisting I needed one more day of rest she let me stay home. Another day spent in bed only this time I was beyond bored. I glanced at the worksheets Harry brought by. If I wasn’t going to see him for tutoring the least I could do would be to just try and work on these problems. Pulling out notes I had taken from class I tried to use the techni ques Mr. Boroski taught us in class. I was able to work out the first few but the rest didn’t come as easily. I finished what I could and called it a day.

My mom let me go back to school that Friday. I was actually glad to be back but soon realized I missed more than I originally thought. In high school things change quickly. In the two days I was gone Lydia had began dating Travis. I felt sick all over again. I didn’t have feelings for him anymore but seeing my best friends dating my ex sent a whole new wave of nausea through me. When she asked if I was meeting up with him she was testing the waters to see if I had any feelings left for him. I said no so she took that as the go ahead to start seeing him officially. It hurt even more to hear Aubrey had encouraged the whole thing. In the blink of an eye my whole world turned upside down. My two best friends had betrayed me and I felt more alone than ever.

Even though I had missed two whole days of classes I couldn’t bring myself to sit in a classroom where everyone knew the current situation. I held it together at first but soon found myself sitting in a corner in the back of the library. When I was finally alone I broke down. Tears fell down my cheeks leaving droplets on my jeans. I knew I missed my first two classes but didn’t bother standing to go to the rest. I thought about leaving all together, it was Friday it would give me the weekend to pull myself together. I was still considering my options when I heard someone clear their throat. “This is where I go when I need to get away from everyone too.” Harry spoke making me pick my head up.

Quickly wiping my face with my jacket sleeve I asked. “Y-you want your spot back?”

“No,” He sighed walking over to sit down beside me. “No, I think you need it more than I do.”

Sighing in frustration I choked out. “So you’ve heard about it too?”

“Word gets around in a small school like this, even I bound to hear about it.” He explained. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not, if you were you would be in class with your head held high. Not sitting in the back of a library, crying.”

He was right, of course. “I just didn’t know how to face it all. I was gone for two days and everyone I thought I could trust betrayed me. I think you’ve got it right, don’t be friends with anyone...you don’t get hurt that way.”

Leaning his head back against the bookshelves he said. “Don’t say that, you’ve got plenty of people that care about you. Don’t let a few assholes ruin that for you.”

I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Why do you never talk to anyone?”

Harry seemed surprised by my sudden change in conversation. “No reason.”

“There has to be some reason. I won’t judge you, I promise, I’m just curious.”

He opened his mouth and shut it again. It was like he was considering his answer before he said it. “I guess...when I moved here I was terrified. A brand new place, I was shy to the point of shutting myself off. You all have gone to school together since you were kids, I guess I would never fit in so I didn’t bother trying.”

“So you’re not some mysterious, lost soul, you were just too lazy to make friends?” I joked.

It worked, it was the first time I ever heard him really laugh. “I wouldn’t say I was lazy,” He chuckled. “Maybe I was just waiting for someone else to make the first move.”

Just when I think I may be figuring this guy out he throws me a curveball. Was he being flirty? I didn’t have the nerve to find out. Reaching into my bag I pulled out the worksheets from the night before. “I finished a few last night but I couldn’t work them all out.” I told him.

Shuffling the papers in his hands he said. “I may have lied to you, Mr. Boroski didn’t give me these. I made them myself so I could see just what you could and couldn’t do.”

“Well obviously it’s not a whole lot.” I grumbled.

“Don’t beat yourself up like that,” He chastised. “Now that I know what you can do it’ll make tutoring you easier. We can skip over certain areas and just concentrate on the important parts.”

It made sense. Here I thought he was going to mock me but instead he just needed to know how and what to teach me. “Thanks, Harry.”

“For what?”

“For taking the time to tutor me, I’m sure you would rather be doing anything else.”

“Hey, like you said I don’t really have any friends so I don’t really have anything else to do.”

“Well consider me flattered.”

“You should,” He countered, pushing himself off the floor he held his hand out to me. “Come on, I know hiding out in here is tempting but you have to face it sometime.”

I knew he was right. Placing my hand in his I let him pull me up off the floor. When I was standing upright he continued to hold my hand. Looking up into his green eyes I wanted to say something else but had nothing in mind. “Thanks,” I blurted.

“No problem, how about we go to my house instead? I think you’ve spent enough time in the library today.”

I agreed as we began walking out of the library together. Stepping into the halls felt like I suddenly walked into a fish tank. It seemed like all eyes were on me, waiting to see how I would react. Taking a deep breath I trudged forward vaguely aware of Harry walking along beside me. Everything was going ok until I spotted Lydia and Travis walking hand in hand. I froze, here they were, they never even noticed me but they were all I could focus on. A shoulder gently connecting with mine pulled me out of my thoughts. Glancing over Harry was looking down at me with a sympathetic look. “Everything’s ok, just ignore them.”

His voice was soothing, instantly calming my frazzled state. With him beside me I continued on until we got to my next class. “I’ve got Chemistry...see you later?” He asked.

I nodded my head, watching on as he walked away. I still wanted to leave, this day was a lost cause, but maybe if I had someone like Harry in my corner it will all be ok. “I got this.” I whispered as I went to my seat.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. I kept to myself when I wasn’t around Harry. No one from the cheerleading squad talked to me, which I expected. It seemed like they all took a side early on and it wasn’t mine. For the rest of the night I kept my head down, speaking only to my teachers. Whenever my class would end Harry would meet up with me in the hall. He didn’t really speak, he was mostly there for silent support.

When the final bell rang he found me by my locker. “Just follow me to my house. My mum shouldn’t be home for a few hours.”

I agreed as I gathered my books. We walked out together, him leading me to my car before going to his own. I waited a few minutes before he started driving with him following close behind. He lived about ten minutes away in a nice subdivision. Manicured lawns, older women walking their prissy dogs, it was pretty nice. Harry pulled into the driveway of a two story brick house with red shutters. No other cars were in the driveway but I didn’t think anything of it since he already said his mom was going to be gone.

Without saying anything he led me inside. “You want something to drink?” He asked, going over to the fridge.

“No, thank you,” I said noticing how relaxed Harry seemed to be in his own environment.

He had taken off his thick sweater leaving him in a plain white T-shirt. It was the first time I had ever noticed how toned his arms were. I had noticed never his rings before either, just how many did this boy own?

As I started unpacking my bag Harry came over to sit down next to me. “So where do we start?” I asked.

“First I want to say what I’ve noticed, when you get nervous, you shut down. Math makes you nervous so you give up on the problem.”

“It’s not that I’m nervous, I’m just clueless.”

“But you were able to figure out some of these problems, what made these different?” He asked, holding up the first worksheet I was able to finish.

“I guess because Mr. Boroski taught us different ways to solve them.”

“Well there you go, just because you didn’t learn one way doesn’t mean you’re bad at Math. It just means you learn differently.”

For the next two hours Harry went over several different ways for me to work out whatever problem was in front of me. By the end of it he watched on as I began my homework. When I finished he held out his hand to check it. I stared at his face as his eyes scanned the paper. His focus was on the sheet in front of him leaving me to be able to really analyze his features. He had the most beautiful green eyes. His lips formed a pout, occasionally he would bite his bottom lip when he was really concentrating. A few times he would run his hand through his cropped brown hair messing it up slightly.

Our eyes met when he finally looked up. “Good job, just remember to show all of your work. Mr. Boroski is a stickler for that.”

“Oh, ok,” I murmured.

Standing up from the table he walked around to the pantry. “You hungry?”

“I should probably get home.” I said even though I really didn’t want to leave just yet.

“No, stay,” He urged. “It’s Friday night and after the week you’ve had I think you deserve a nice meal.”

“You cook?” I questioned, watching on as he began pulling items from the pantry.

“Occasionally,” He smirked. “Fajitas are my specialty.”

“Well at least let me help you. Cooking relaxes me.” I smiled rising from my seat to join him at the stove.

It was like we had been friends for years. I was able to get him talking about stuff other than school. I learned about his home in England, his older sister who was going to University in London, that he moved to the US with his mom when she got a new job in town. He was like an open book once I got him talking. There was one subject I was hesitant to ask about though. After a while I wondered if he was seeing anyone.

Our food was finished and we were sitting back at the table when I worked up enough courage to ask. “So...I know you said you’re private but...have you dated anyone since moving here?”

He didn’t say anything for a while, his eyes going from me to his plate. Taking a deep sip of water he sighed. “I did...sophomore year.”

With that answer I could tell it didn’t end well. I didn’t want to push the subject any further but he continued. “She was in college.” He explained. “I met her in town and I lied about my age. I told her I was eighteen and somehow she believed me.”

“Wow, I never thought you would be the type to do something like that.”

“I was in love...or I thought I was. I decided to surprise her one day and I found her in bed with someone else. I was devastated. I closed myself off completely so I would never feel that way again.”

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe someone would treat him like that. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

Shaking his head he reached over to pat my arm. “It’s not your fault. I know not everyone would do that to me I just...didn’t want to take the chance. Not like it matters much anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m moving back to London after I graduate. I’ve already been accepted to University.”

A small piece of my heart broke. Here I was getting to know this guy and it wouldn’t matter in a few months. He was leaving, he had a plan and I knew I wouldn’t be able to change that.

Pushing my plate aside I suddenly didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. “It’s getting late, I better get going.”

“Let me walk you out.”

I wish he wouldn’t but he was too much of a gentleman. He walked me all the way to my car. “Just a heads up, Mr. Boroski is giving out a pop quiz on Monday.” He said opening the door for me.

“Great, just the thing I need on a Monday.” I frowned.

“Hey, don’t worry, you’re going to do fine. If not then I’ll help you with whatever gives you issue.” He told me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

His touch sent a shiver down my spine. I knew it, I had a full blown crush on this guy. It had hit me harder than any guy I had ever been with. A thrilling feeling in my stomach instantly turned to dread when I thought back to him telling me about him moving. Mumbling a quick goodbye I climbed into my car and drove home. Images of him smiling filled my head, his laugh could still be heard. This boy was taking over my entire being but I couldn’t let him. It would only end in heartbreak.

I spent my weekend at home. To distract myself from thinking about Harry I cleaned my entire bedroom from top to bottom. Went through my closet and donated old clothes I never wore, dusted the furniture, and put away pictures of me along with Lydia and Aubrey. Neither had spoken to me since I found out about Lydia and Travis. It wasn’t surprising but it still hurt they wouldn’t try to reach out. I guess my dad was right when he said I wouldn’t be friends with everyone I went to high school with. I just thought we would stop being friends after we graduated. I never expected us to drift apart while we were still in the middle of our senior year.

Even though I had tried my best to not think of him whenever I had a spare minute Harry would take over my thoughts. I wanted to continue to get to know him, to make him laugh, hear about his favorite books or movies. I just wanted to be around him. The boy had taken over my life without even trying.

On Sunday afternoon I tried reading a book I had been meaning to read for a while. I stared at the same page for what felt like hours but the words wouldn’t sink in. When I felt my phone vibrate beside me I picked it up in an instant. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Harry spoke. “I was just calling to see if you’re prepared for tomorrow’s quiz.”

“Uh, about as ready as I’ll ever be,” I sighed, I hoped my disappointment couldn’t be heard in my voice. He finally calls me and it’s because he wanted to talk about school?

“You’ll be fine, I’m telling you if you can’t work out a problem one way just use one of the other techniques I taught you.”

“I will, thanks,” I mumbled.

I wanted to ask him out. Maybe we could do something that didn’t involve tutoring. The question was on the tip of my tongue when he said he had to go. He wished me good luck and hung up the phone. Falling backwards on my bed I wanted to let out a frustrated scream. I was never one to be so hopeless with a guy. I fell asleep that night still thinking about Harry wishing somehow things would work out the way I wanted them to.

School was back to normal. No one stared at me in the hallways or talked about me behind my back. I was still alone but I prefered it that way at the moment. Unfortunately Harry was nowhere to be found. Even though I wanted to be around him I missed how he made me feel more secure with him walking with me. When I still hadn’t seen him after lunch I started to get nervous. By the time Math class rolled around I felt even more anxious. I was sure I was going to bomb the quiz but after seeing the problems in front of me everything Harry had taught me came rushing back. For the first time I was able to work everything out and actually feel confident in my answers. Even Mr. Boroski seemed surprised when I was one of the first to turn in my quiz. “I’ll grade it right now,” He whispered.

I stood at his desk with a lump in my throat as I watched his red pen glide over my paper. Finally, after what felt like hours he passed it back to me. My mouth fell open in shock when I saw the eighty at the top. “Good job.” He said.

I wanted to squeal in happiness. This had been my first passing grade all semester. When the bell rang I searched the halls for Harry. Through the crowd of people I spotted him at his locker. Without even saying anything I all but crashed into him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. He seemed surprised as he tried his best to turn around. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I grinned.

Gently he wrapped his fingers around my wrists to unlock them from around his torso. He turned to face me with a smile of his own on his face. “What’s this about?”

Holding my quiz in front of my face I exclaimed. “Look! I passed!”

“I told you don’t worry about it, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I was so happy and grateful for him my body just moved on its own. Stepping closer to him I raised my head up until my lips connected with his. It was a quick peck but time seemed to freeze. After I took a step back the realization of what I had done hit me like a ton of bricks. Harry stood in the same spot, his eyes as wide as saucers. His mouth slightly hung open in shock. “Uh...I have to go.” He mumbled, slamming his locker and brushing past me.

I stood around in disbelief and embarrassment. Did that really just happen? Did I just ruin everything in a split second? The joy I felt when I saw my grade was gone, now I just wished I could take it all back. I wanted to apologize but didn’t want to face him again. Crumpling up my quiz I headed outside to the parking lot. Harry’s car was long gone along with my hope of him becoming anything more than my tutor.

When I got home I was relieved to see no one else was back yet. I needed some time to myself after what happened in the hallway. Falling onto the couch I started watching some sort of movie on Netflix but I stopped paying attention when the cute teenage couple began making out. I was still mad at myself. How could I do that? Now not only will Harry hate me but he will definitely stop being my tutor after that.

I was in the middle of my self-loathing when I heard the doorbell ring. Dragging myself over to the door I almost fell over when I saw Harry standing on the other side. “Harry.” I breathed not knowing where this conversation was going.

“I’m sorry for running off like that.” He sighed, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets.

“It’s ok, I did kind of jump you.”

“No, no, it’s not that. I mean, you did surprise me but I’m not mad that you did it.” He explained.

Now he was just confusing me. “Then why did you run away like that?”

“Because you fucking terrify me. This terrifies me.” He said, his voice rising slightly. “I’ve had walls up for so long I don’t know how to take them down. I haven’t let myself care about anyone since my ex. I don’t want to go through that again.”

“I understand that, Harry, but I don’t have the best track record with guys either. Most have either cheated on me or just...lost interest.” I frowned, I hadn’t told him that much about my previous love life but if we were being honest I needed him to know. “I’m scared too, you know.”

“How about this? We take whatever this is slow because...I do want to see where this goes.”

The sides of my mouth tugged up into a smile. “I would like that.”

With a smirk on his face he took a step forward. “Is this slow enough?” He asked, leaning his head down so his breath hit me in the face. “You took me off guard earlier...I want to make our first kiss a little better than that.”

“Then maybe you should move a little faster.” I whispered.

Without missing a beat he leaned down until his lips connected with mine. My arms were quick to wrap around his neck while I felt his rest on my hips. Kissing him felt even better than I originally thought. His lips were soft and fit perfectly against mine. He didn’t push anything further, we both seemed content with just a simple kiss. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine. “We still need to work on your Math homework though.”

I groaned. “Fine, if you say so but I want a date at some point.”

“I think I can handle that.”

Our future may still be uncertain but I knew I could face it with Harry by my side. It would take some time but maybe we would be able to help each other.

[3652k17]

March 16th 2020

Quarantine Day #3: 

What is the world these days? I’m sure there will be a great pouring of people who are now trying to blog about their experiences but to be fair, I’ve definitely kept trying to come back to recount my journey through life, this ain’t no fleeting, novel thing. Speaking of non-fleeting novel thing; the Coronavirus is now spreading throughout the US and LCPS wrote today to say that we certainly won’t be going back until after Spring Break. Karen Langrock had said, the day before we were closed unexpectedly in the middle of the night, that once we’re out, we won’t be back. When she said that statement, there was a genuine beat where I tried to take that information in. There I was, standing in the 600 hallway, with Madelaine, Rohin, and Caitlin all waiting to waste some time after school. Her words sent absolute panic through me. To not be back here every day? To not see my kids? To no longer be Madelaine, Rohin, Jake, Ryan, Chas’s teacher? It was something that I just couldn’t comprehend, and when I turned to Rebecca, with fear in my eyes, she said, “You can’t think about it.” It all seemed very far away. 

The infamous Thursday (March 12th, although it feels 1000 years ago) will remain emblazoned in my memory for as long as I live (which will hopefully be longer than the year 2020). It’s similar to 9/11, although not nearly as evil or as violent, but something I won’t forget. The night before, when I had finally finished up SAT with Caitlin, our last session before her test that weekend, and made it home, I dissolved completely into tears. I cried most of my way home. I cried while I was heating up my leftover Indian food from Maddy’s birthday dinner the night before. I cried at the kitchen table and couldn’t move to watch television, to continue to grade my timed writes. I couldn’t bear the idea that this time next week, the school year might be over. However, I brushed it off and decided that tomorrow ‘I’ll make the best of things. I’ll take a selfie with all of my classes, I really try and enjoy every moment with them the best that I possibly can”. The next morning I shook myself awake, scared that I was going to sleep in for Orange, checked my email and saw that there was a department meeting agenda waiting. I scanned over it, thinking about the info that might be shared about the prospect of “distance learning”. I thought briefly about PLC social, who would be winning the supposed coveted (but actually very much resented) apple award. I thought about Ben’s PD the following day. I thought about that day’s 7th-week schedule, and how I would need to get my act together to make sure all of my grades would be in ok. I didn’t think to check my email again. I went to Orange, and thought about how many more sessions would I get before they either closed or I had to freeze my membership? Turns out it was just once more. It was a great class, with a teacher I don’t usually have, and I was so glad that I made the decision to go in. I went to the store straight after, as I had run out of milk for my tea and infamous cereal, and I noticed that the store was a little fuller than it usually is at 6:00am. I had also noticed that a lot of people dropped off early that Orangetheory class, but decided to think nothing of it. I pulled into school, with the darkness still hanging heavy in the air. There wasn’t another car in the parking lot, although this isn’t too unusual at this point. I opened my car door and I genuinely paused and listened to the still morning air, punctured only by the birds in the surrounding trees. The air had a slight balm in it, as a sort preview of the what spring may hold. At that moment, it was hard to think of the world crashing in around us.  I took a deep breath and looked up at the brick building and somberly smiled. “How many more mornings would I get like this, “ I thought, “It’s mornings like these I’ll really miss when we’re quarantined in two weeks.” That’s how long I genuinely thought we’d have. I pulled myself up the stairs, my heels echoing ominously in the deserted stairwell. I did my hair, makeup and decided to go and wash my mugs. The clock was inching towards 7, but still, the hallway lights weren’t on, and the heavy sound of the football practice wasn’t filling the hall. Everything was still. Too still thinking back. After washing out all of my mugs and filling my two cereal bowls with water to wash later (and never did come to think of it) I sauntered down the hall, looking around at the cavernous ceiling, that seems so much taller when the lights were off. That’s when I bumped into Deb who looked as though she had seen a ghost. The first ebbs of morning light were starting to creep in through the large glass window at the end of the 600 hallway, and there she was, aghast that I was just going about my merry way. My phone was left in my gym bag. I hadn’t checked my email. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to be there anymore. When she first told me, I thought she had made a mistake or that she was crazy. There was no mistake. I went into my room and started to find a way to call Becca. “This can’t be happening,” I desperately thought. “Did she say we’re closed for the next week or so? How can that change in less than 24 hours.” Becca’s laughter and confirmation did make me settle down. It felt like that time, earlier in the year, when I had gotten to school and we had actually had a snow day. It was a delightful mix-up. I scurred on home and rejoiced at getting back an extra day to play the sims and watch TV with Becca, Ellie, and Scout. At that moment in 607, it felt as though this was all a big joke and would be fixed tomorrow. Fred then found me and expressed his own surprise and encouraged me to get my things and head out. The ever creepy janitor Tim was delighted to find me and escorted me out to my car. Didn’t help with anything mind, but walked me out there. I had taken as much as I could possibly carry from my classroom, threw it into my car and called my mum and dad. It still felt like a snow day gone wrong. 

It’s been 3 days since that happened, and although not too much has changed, I know that it will. LCPS discussed that it would be potentially 12 weeks until we could go back and by that point, the end of the year is already upon us, and it would almost seem foolish to go back. Which means from March-August, we hadn’t seen our classrooms, our kids, or each other. There are times when I don’t know what I miss most. The hubbub of the normal, hectic school routine, the kids saying something nutty, or the people who will listen to you explain this nuttiness and relate. I know that I’ve been working very hard over the last few months, and for all of that to come to a grinding halt is beyond disarming. I completely agree with all the measures that the surrounding places are taking. We should not be interacting with each other. We have to stay protected from this horrible illness as long as possible. We’re doing the right thing. 

But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love: a PLC social to complain about; to see Will and Ais in advisory; to have another fantastic, crazy, probably not helping them in any way for the AP exam A1 class; to talk to Ben, Zack, Erick, Veronica, the people who make my day the best it can be; to just talk to Becca about whatever’s going on and stay a part of her life as she transitions away to motherhood; to laugh with Kenzie during 4th lunch on a 3rd block day, hell, I’d even take good ol’ Colin Gray and his nuttiness; to talk to Ishan, to be irritated by Preetham, to laugh with Taylor and Haley; to mess around with Eliza and Ashley, to roll my eyes at something stupid and ignorant that Caitlin said; to figuring out where to go for planning during 6th and instead find my way to Ben’s classroom; to see Naomi, Sydney and a few others in 7th; to be pestered by Maddie Garber and PEER; to good ol’ 8th block study hall, where I was super frustrated they took away my coveted office slot, but that I actually looked forward to because of the great conversations that Eric, Rebecca and I would have, along with those crazy, apathetic seniors; to have an afterschool chat with Madelaine and Rohin and whoever else they brought along, where we’d talk about anything, but most Gibson and whatever quirk he had expressed today. I’d love to do all of those things again and more. I know that staying in and protecting myself will increase my chances of getting to do some of those things again, but as my stupid brain keeps telling me, “it won’t be the same and you know it”. I don’t know what the future will hold for anyone right now. More than anything that I listed before though, I just want us all to get through this illness. I don’t want myself, or anybody else to die. I want us to beat this thing. I know that we’re going to have a new normal and that things haven’t even started to get hard yet, but I just want to get back to worrying about whether I had worn too many dresses this week, or if my hair looked funny, or if I’m a terrible AP teacher. And right now that’s all I can do; hope. 

[dandelliongirl]

Time in-between

And an impromptu road trip.

On one hand I dread the upcoming loneliness, but one the other I want to move on with my life and get this year over with. This in-between-ness is super mentally taxing and I need structure in my life.

I’ve been spending as much time with my guy as possible and basically neglecting all my studies/work stuff whenever he’s home. This means I have no routine and no structure to my days, and thus I have a hard time recalling which day of the week it is or what I’m supposed to be doing tomorrow. My orgnaized self is suffering, but I’ve scrapped timetables on behalf of time spent together. Today I had to work on my timetables/to-do lists just to get out of a depressing slump of worthlessness.

The last weekend of August was spent working on some extra JLPT stuff and planning for my dance students. On Sunday we had our fun little idea seminar/training day for new teachers, where we got to know each other and learn new stuff to teach our dance/gymnastics students.

I started going to ballet classes again. Our new teacher is awesome, she’s a tough lady with a lot of skill in both ballet and teaching. It’s going to be a good year. We got our gym shifts sorted and it feels good to go and exercise regularly again.

I managed to get the key for the dance studio I teach in. It’s above the skating rink and I feel happy that it’s close by and an actual facility with janitors etc.  on duty and no alarms on rather than a school that’s closed for the night. It’s going to be fun teaching there. It seems like I’ll be getting two groups to teach. It isn’t a lot but it’s something. I emailed my students some instructions and I can’t wait to meet them tonight. I’ve had issues with one girl and her mom in the past, and now she’s signed up for my ballet for 7-9 -year-olds.. I’m kind of dreading her but I just have to try to be strict and kick her out if she can’t focus enough. I feel like ballet isn’t for her at all but what can you do.

I finished going through source material for my MA thesis. What’s left now is restructuring and placing all the new stuff to appropriate places, and to write write write. I also probably need some new research literature but I’m so glad I’m finally moving to a new stage. I’ve felt so unmotivated regarding the whole thing it’s going to be good to have something new to work on.

Me and my friend signed up for JLPT this Wednesday. However the next day it turned out that the embassy people had conveniently forgotten to write down that instead of the sign up email, this year all the paperwork had to be at the embassy by 8.9.! So Thursday was a chaotic day, scrambling around for passport photos and receipts of the exam fee. I also had housing cooperative meeting to go to, and ended up ditching ballet class. On Friday (the deadline the paperwork had to be submitted) me, my friend and my boyfriend took a roadtrip to the embassy. Luckily my guy got his exchange student visa, so that the three of us all had to visit the embassy regardless. We left at 6am, were there at 10:30 when the embassy opened, filled in the required paperwork, handed it in and left at 11:30. We stopped once to eat some lunch on our way back and were home around 2pm. Efficient. It was hilarious but at least we signed up on time. Barely. I would’ve been so pissed if - having spent all summer working on JLPT stuff - I had to wait until next year. Thank God we had a day’s notice to get ourselves to the embassy. I wish they’d update their website to where it says “sign up via email by XX.XX.XXXX, and submit required paperwork by mail or in person by XX.XX.XXXX” rather than just “sign up by XX.XX.XXXX”. Last year the email had to be sent during September, the paperwork was sent over in October and the test voucher came back in November. I wish they’d have notified us of moving the process ahead a month... Anyway it’s done and we should be good for this December’s exam.

The impromptu trip to the embassy meant that I couldn’t go to the office on Friday, and had to postpone a lot of work stuff. I did make it to my ballet weekend course on time however. We did barre work, pointe work and were introduced to two variations on Friday. I had a little sleepover with mum where we went to the sauna, ate some burritos, girl talked, filled in crosswords puzzles and I got to sleep in my own bed for the night. On Saturday I went back to ballet at 11am. We did some character dance barre work and variations from Don Quixote and Giselle. My toes were still hurting from Friday evening so pointe work was awful, and I got super tired about 1½ hours in to the point where no matter how much I tried I was always half a count late because my body wasn’t responding. I struggled my way through and was pretty exhausted for the rest of the day. However it was super interesting and I learned a lot over the course of the two days.

Mum and I went to go get groceries and I bought mr. Bunny a hay holder that goes outside his cage. This way he hopefully won’t sit on his hay or move it to his poop pile causing me to carry it into the bio waste all the time. It might stay edible for longer unless he figures out he can pull all the hay out of the holder through the bars of the cage... We’ll see. He seemed to like the thing. He’s been super affectionate lately. I don’t know if he feels at home or has accepted me or what, but he keeps following me around and really likes to be pet. Last night I sat on the floor for half an hour finger combing through some of the beginnings of the more stubborn mats in his fur and he was fine with it. I’m not complaining, I need him to be cuddly because I’m going to get so so so lonely. My guy has been at his parents’ this weekend and I keep thinking this is how it’s going to be for almost an entire year...

I finally got my ects from some courses I took last year. It’s almost been a year since the first one started and so I sent a passive aggressive email (the 5th one) to the person responsible. I guess she got tired of my constant emails and the ects were in my account within 24 hours of the email.

I’m about to go teach my first dance classes this year. In the evening I’ll probably just chill out. I’ve been working on JLPT stuff twice as hard now since our little extra trip certainly added motivation. I’m going to be so pissed if I don’t pass and we took that trip for essentially nothing lol. Anyway next week I’m going to work on thesis stuff and email my supervisor regarding my progress, do a bit more JLPT stuff than up until now, do all of my office stuff that’s been dragging behind. I also need to pack for my work trip (eek). I’m leaving for the airport on Saturday, and the plane leaves early Sunday. My guy’s leaving on Tuesday and I return on Wednesday so that’s a bit of a bummer, but at least I’m not here to cry and feel like shit and make him feel like shit for leaving. I guess it’ll be a good thing. I’ve kind of scheduled the following Thursday to be a crying/JLPT day since those two generally go hand in hand but that’s still two weeks from now.

I’m going to get ready for dance teaching.

September is well underway although I’m not doing too well. Hopefully it gets better.