#he’s ready to murder Hidan and Deidara but then he gets a look at Itachi and how happy he looks

[ladykissingfish]

Had a dream last night that I was watching English-dubbed Naruto but it was like a filler episode and like Itachi got sicker and had to start using a wheelchair. And Deidara and Hidan were fighting with each other over taking turns pushing it because Kisame made it so that the wheels turned different colors when you pushed the chair really fast and they were trying to see who could make the prettiest colors and meanwhile Itachi is just gripping the armrest of the chair for dear life but at the same time having so much fun 🥹

[snuggleboots]

₊˚♡˚₊ The Akatsuki and their jealousy ₊˚♡˚₊

Tags: GN Reader, GN flirt, general jealousy and implied murder shenanigans.

Tobi essentially zeroes in the instant someone else starts laughing a little too hard at your jokes. Uhm, hello? You're funny, but you're not that funny. In fact, he's pretty sure he's the only person that busts a gut laughing when you crack your silly little one-liners or puns. It's cute to him, nobody else has any business making a play by acting all giggly and doe-eyed. He doesn't need to be violent about it - and really, why would he be? Tobi's just as happy to lean in - uncomfortably close - and then loudly declare that they have something stuck in their teeth! And it's super noticeable! So's their breath! It's not rude, he's just being helpful! He can smell their lunch through his mask! And it's rank! How embarrassing! Haha! They really should go brush their teeth, huh! Go away! Far, far, away!

Hidan is, in fact, very liable to wind up jealous over stupid little things that always result in becoming a pain in the ass for you to defuse when he inevitably hops onto his bullshit. You're out trying to enjoy one meal in peace together? That's funny, because the server seemed to put some weird, flirtatious emphasis on hot when they asked how you like your tea, and that's a problem, and that bitch knows it, too. Oh, they wanna know how hot you like it? Alright! There's loads of people on this earth, and they really wanna get stabbed over you? Fuck it! He just sat down, but clearly he's got some shit to do now. Dinner and a show! Why not?! He gets why Kakuzu doesn't tip now, not that he was gonna anyway. Shit service, and thirsty-ass servers. Fucking ridiculous.

Deidara is the first to notice when someone gets too close and cosy with you. Does it bug him immediately? No. His reaction, however, depends entirely on yours. Do you notice that they're smiling with way too much teeth when they playfully punched your arm? No? Alright. He can let that slide. It's when they deliberately divert your attention from him to themselves that he starts getting annoyed. He's not at all above pointing out tacky behaviour, petty king, and even if it embarrasses you a little, it is highly satisfying for him to see the flirt's face drop into something sour or burn up from the embarrassment. It's even better if you snicker along with him.

Kakuzu's only problem with someone chatting your ear off and really gushing over whatever comes out of your mouth is the fact that they're boosting your ego and he has to deal with it later. Not because the offending flirt boosted your ego, he doesn't give a damn about that, but he's now going to hear the same things you just told them about later when he's already just heard it - and he sincerely doesn't care to hear it again. He doesn't want to act interested, and yet he's going to be faced with either being called a dick, or being forced to feign something to avoid bickering about it after the fact. God dammit.

Kisame doesn't mind seeing someone try their damndest to flirt with you. He trusts you, and he's very happy to sit back while you turn them down- or, if he's lucky, watch while the flirt makes an idiot of themselves trying too hard to clue you in and get your attention. It's funny - he's laughing, and he isn't even trying to hide it. If he's in a cheeky mood, he'll even stir the pot, because he has gremlin tendencies and his humour is catered exclusively to himself. Yeah, he'll egg them on in little ways, until they're feeling nice and confident. Then, while he isn't really a PDA kind of guy, he'll drape a brawny arm over your shoulders, plonk a cheek atop your head and drawl something to the effect of, 'You know what? You do look great in that outfit. It'll look better on the floor later. Ready to go?' Kisame likes finding his own fun like this. The flirts always flap their lips like gasping fish when he hits 'em with that bit, and it tickles his brain just right.

Itachi is generally ambivalent. You have attractive qualities, he knows this, and he's well acquainted with the consequence of having said attractive qualities. As long as you're fine with it and nobody's pushing any obvious boundaries, he's fine with it too. Jealousy isn't an issue at all with Itachi. It only becomes one if you end up uncomfortable and the flirt doesn't pick up on that fact. In that case? He's glad to leave with you, if you don't feel like handling it. If you don't want to leave, or leaving isn't an option? Well, he can use his words. Or, if they've ruffled your feathers enough to annoy him, there are many benefits to being a genjutsu master. Oh, noooo, suddenly all eyes are on the flirt and the judgmental looks are intense and highly disarming. Or, uh oh! There's definitely a fire that just broke out, and they're the only one panicking about it! Oh wow, they left in a hurry. What a shame. They must've drank a little too much, or something like that.

Sasori, simply put, could not possibly care less if you paid him. Possibly aggravated by the fact that someone's breathing air in his direction while he's minding his business with you, someone he can actually tolerate. Yeah, he fully expects you to handle that. He's gained a knack for zoning minor annoyances out- until those minor annoyances become general annoyances. It's only when the offending flirt's voice becomes grating - which, really, doesn't take long at all before he bothers intervening if you haven't already shooed them away yourself. If a terse 'shut up' or 'begone' doesn't dissuade the persistent little gnat, he has poison and many fun, discrete vehicles with which to deliver it. It is purely for the sake of peace and quiet. Does he care when they drop like a sack of rocks, seizing and foaming at the mouth? Not particularly. Do as he does, and zone it out. Don't look at it (derogatory), you'll only encourage it to make more of a scene.

[lotus-baby]

hey val! do u have any hcs about zetsu and his relationships/thoughts on the other akatsuki members?

yes 👉👈 *500 words of jargon*

pain - white zetsu likes him, he’s a patient leader which is big to him because so many of the akatsuki members (including the one he shares a body with) get mad at him for dawdling. black zetsu think’s peins god thing is cute bcz he knows ‘real gods’, but otherwise neutral. sometimes wonders if the paths are pickle equivalent.

konan - they kinda have beef ngl... konan’s only in the akatsuki because pein is there and she does Not like to listen to orders from ‘madara’. he’s really conflicted: it seriously inconveniences black zetsu but white zetsu thinks it’s funny because one person with no special kekkai genkai or anything is threatening to tip the cohesiveness of akatsuki just with the Power Of Friendship because she’s close to nagato. but also sometimes when they’re all bored they’ll have lengthy gardening discussions bcz roses = plants, shared hobby??

deidara - black zetsu’s w/ sasori on the expecting deidara to die. also he’s the oldest member of the akatsuki and deidara’s the youngest and he gets a ‘the kids are into arson these days’ vibe. i think white zetsu likes him more because him and deidara were pretty friendly with each other during the 4th shinobi war arc. white zetsu will stick up for deidaras art sometimes if there’s ever competition between the artists. pretty sure deidara thinks white zetsu is a dweeb though because of similarity to tobi 

sasori - this was rlly hard 4 no reason omg.. he probably considers sasori one of the better members, because he contributes so much to the organization w/ his spy network and stuff. i feel like him and black zetsu could potentially nerd out together abt poisons and relate to being stuck with guys that are way chattier than is preferred. work friends, most likely

itachi - itachi’s important to zetsu because of his role in the plot and stuff but he doesn’t think too much about itachi outside of akatsuki business, plus they don’t trust each other at all. zetsu maintains his distance because he knows about all the op sharingan moves and he doesn’t want to die, itachi’s always on edge because he’s pretty sure zetsu is reporting his actions to madara. spyception = double agent spy (itachi) spying on other double agent spy (zetsu) who is spying on the first double agent. 

kisame - a little bit of jealousy tbh. they’re both offputting and inhuman appearance-wise but kisame is more likeable and white zetsu’s not sure what he’s missing. kisame’s also one of the first few members so they’ll chat for old times sake. ‘it’s a philosophy: the weak are meat the strong eat’ ‘most things can be meat... as long as they have animal-like flesh. maybe not me, but you...’ ‘actually zetsu i forgot i have stamina training with itachi today goodbye sorry.’

kakuzu - old loner solidarity... i hc that black zetsu when chatting, will reference  bygone events because he thinks it makes him look sophisticated (no lol). only kakuzu really gets them, so zetsu and him can have actual casual conversations where they both understand each other. but also kakuzu’s not usually in a talking mood and neither is black zetsu so even if the two rlly wanted to be friends i don’t think they are that close. but they’ll go for drinks and cards and consuming hearts every so and so.

hidan - killing murder? good. wasting food? :// white zetsu gets kind of disturbed with how hidan enjoys pain because he’s tried dying too, and it wasn’t fun. black zetsu thinks hidan is supremely entertaining even if he doesn’t help any plans. he doesn’t believe a word hidan says either he just thinks its fun to check in on the resident fucked up guy every once in a while and see what’s cooking. ‘society isnt ready to hear this but evisceration is good. healthy, even’. cue flytrap cackling.

tobito - while black zetsu doesn’t really care about him, white zetsu and tobi are cool. they’ve lived in the cave together for a decade and they’re pretty much like siblings who hate each other now. like obito yelled at shiro daily in the cave era and they know they can’t trust each other but tobi’s still gonna ask zetsu for a snack from the store when goes out and zetsu’s still gonna get it for him, and white zetsu spoke up for tobi on joining akatsuki .. just frenemy things!

[deidaratheartboi]

A Little Surprise - Akatsuki Story

Ello mates I am going to write today ig. Gonna do Hazbin Hotel and anime stuff just kinda miz it up a bit anyways enjoy! ------------------------------------------------- It was a sorta normal day at the Akastuki hideout or whatever. Then there was a knock on the door. Deidara: Who knocks on someone's door in the middle of the night? Sasori: Who eats a whole jar of peanut butter in the middle of the night? Deidara: Don't fucking judge me Kakuzu: Anyone gonna get that?

Everyone looks at Hidan: Hidan: Assholes Hidan gets up and walks towards the door opening it. He looks around and see no one but, he does see a basket with something moving it. He takes the basket and closes the door behind him walking back in. Hidan: Um guys something is in this basket moving- Itachi: Maybe it's some sort of small animal Zetsu: It's a child obviously dumbass The thing begins to cry. Kakuzu: Yeah I'm leaving not dealing with this. Oh wait maybe we can sell it on the market. Kisame: What the fuck is wrong with you? Kakuzu: Just tossing ideas either that or we take care of it which is no way in hell boss is going to allow it. Pain walks in hearing all of the commotion. Pain: What is this? Hidan explains what happened. (Yeah I'm lazy) Pain: Then we can look for they're parents in the morning. Kakuzu: So what do we name it? Hidan: How about Draco? Deidara: Ew no how about Bakudan? Itachi: Your really gonna name a child bomb? Deidara: Yes Itachi: Let's call it a sensible name like Bashira Kakuzu: I don't care what we name it Hidan: Bashira Kakuzu: I don't want to take care of that thing Sasori: Who says you are? Pain: Just make sure she's gone by morning Bashira starts crying. Kakuzu: I'm leaving Hidan: Shhh shhh kid don't worry Uncle Hidan's got ya hey wanna go make a mess of Kakuzu's room? Kisame: I think we should feed her, change her diaper and then put her to bed first. Deidara: Not it Sasori: Brat Hidan: What do babies eat? Can they eat sardines? Kisame: I don't think so- Hidan: That's all we have Sasori: I guess it wouldn't harm her. They feed her, change her diaper and put her in Deidara's and Sasori's room. Kakuzu: Good thing we are on the other side of the house They all say goodnight until they hear a crash in the kitchen and crying. Hidan comes rushing in. Bashira is somehow got knives off of the shelf. Hidan: They grow up so fast Kakuzu: You disgust me Deidara: Bruh Pain: How did she get out of the bed? Itachi: Gee I don't know maybe because it wasn't even that tall. Pain: I'll go get a crib or something you guys watch her Hidan: Wow the boss is so smart leaving a child with homicidal, PTSD having, weird murders. Pain: Shut the hell up before I Almighty Push you It was 2 hours before Pain came back with a teal wooden crib. They placed the baby in it and didn't hear a peep from her till morning. The baby woke up crying. Kakuzu: The ultimate way to start your day with a child screaming. Kakuzu leaves the room and goes into the living room where the child was placed. He picked her up and took her to the kitchen. Kakuzu: Now listen here you little shit your gonna eat, shut up, and not wake the others up. He got a can of baby food Pain brought the other day and fed it to her. He changed her diaper and she fell asleep on his lap. Kakuzu: Man I hate kids He patted her head.

About 10 minutes later everyone wakes up to see Kakuzu asleep along with the kid. Deidara takes a picture. Deidara: Oh this is gonna be good blackmail Sasori: Kinda cute Kakuzu wakes up. Kakuzu: You guys didn't see shit Hidan: Awwwww Kakuzu the father what a title eh? Kakuzu: You son of a bitch Hidan: Hahhaahaha Kakuzu: Shut up or you'll wake her up Hidan: I wasn't aware you cared Kisame: This is shocking Itachi: Mhm Pain: Anyways Tobi and Konan are coming to pick the child up so I guess say your goodbyes and get her ready. 30 minutes later Konan and Tobi arrive ready to collect the child Itachi: Bye little one Kisame: Have a nice life Deidara: I'm gonna miss you Bakudan Sasori: Not her name and bye Hidan: Welp guess it's so long Kakuzu: Bye you little twerp I'm not gonna miss you Tobi: SUUUURRRRRREEEEE Kakuzu: Shut the hell up Later that night Kakuzu stirs in his sleep dreaming of the little child with her family and being a happy kid. He smiles before drifting in a soundless sleep. ------------------------------------------------- I suppose this would fall under Akatsuki Scenarios but Im gonna do both. Also this is my attempt at doing fluff idk. I could make a part two either the akatsuki get to keep the kid or she grows up and remembers them blah blah blah tell me what you think

[itskindofafairything]

A Dark Lovely Thing CHAPTER TWO

Y/n followed the two males sticking closer to Sasori then the blonde. "So who's all going to be there and are you sure they wont mind me tagging along?" She asked "I mean we all know I'm not the typical girl youd bring home to mom" she joked.

Sasori shook his head "it's fine trust me they'll like you and true but I'd bring you home" his cheeks tinted a slight pink.

"Geesh for being broken up you both dont act like it" Deidara told them. Causing Sasori to whack him in the back of the head. While y/n merely shrugged and looked away "yah shut it" the red head told the others.

"So how is this Anna's . I mean we had a dinner in my old town but it wasn't that great. Mainly the druggies hung out there." The female told the two males .

"Trust me princess you'll love it Anna's is the best diner in town " Deidara purred.

"Its the only diner in town idiot, but yes it's pretty good none the less" he informed her.

Y/n smiled "Call me princess one more time and I'll punch that pretty face of your blondie"

"Awee i knew you liked me" he joked as they rounded the corner.

"I wouldnt punch him in the face his dad's the sheriff and come on the dinner just up ahead" Sasori told his two bickering friends.

"Like? Yeesh at least give a day to form an opinion on you blondie" Y/n joked thanking Sasori as he open the door once they had all arrived.

"Oh wow its nicer the back home already " Y/n mumbled.

"Well you did mention the diner there was mainly full of druggies" the red head male stated as he led her to his group of friends. "Everyone this is Y/n . Y/n this is the gang"

Y/n arched her brow and crossed her arms at the red head.

"Fine" he puffed his cheeks.

"This is konan

"Nagato"

"Zetsu"

"Kisame"

(Blue hair is obv kisame couldn't find a good pic)

"Kakuku"

"Hidan

"Tobi"

"And lastly well not really you'll meet Gaara tomorrow but this is itachi"

Y/n nodded happier to know everyone's name.

"Sasori failed to mention how pretty you actually are" the other female spoke up.

Y/n cheeks tinted pink "I ahh thank you?" She more asked then said.

" So how are you liking town?" The orange head male asked whom she now knew as Nagato.

"Ah it's fine I guess can't really say I've just been unpacking all day" Y/n admitted.

Nagato nodded.

"So you moved into the cursed house is what we heard" the male she assumed to be Tobi spoke excitedly.

"I mean I guess nothing to strange has happened yet" she told the group shifting in her spoke startling a little when . Itachi moved a seat over for her to sit down conveniently besides him. He patted the seat "sorry you just looked as if you need to rest your feet please sit" he gave her a smile.

"Thanks" Y/n grinned taking the spot besides him. Missing the glare Sasori shot the male. "My feet have been dying"

"So seriously tell us what are you into, howd your end up dating sasori hes always so unemotional. What's your favorite color? Why did you break up" The questions kept coming from the group

"Woah woah one thing at a time please. Well I'm into all things spooky ,horror,scary and stuff that goes bump in the night. I starting dating Sasori after meeting him at art camp one year. We broke up because of distance . My favorite color is blue" y/n kept answering the questions the group asked her during back a few of her own getting to know them as well.

Before they all knew it the sun had set and night started to fall. Some of the group had already excused themselves to go home to their siblings or late night jobs.

Sasori sighed as he looked up from his phone. "I cant walk you back my grandparents need me home"

"Its fine I remember the way I came I can walk home myself"

Sasori nodded but frowned " granny chino would murder me if I let you walk home alone"

"I can walk her back I dont mind" Itachi spoke up betting Deidara to the punch.

"Really I don't mind I can walk myself" Y/n spoke.

"Nonsense I really dont mind" Itachi told her "besides it be rude of me not to walk a lady home"

Y/n nodded nearly blushing a bright red. " If your sure then"

"Stop sulking Deidara you gotta get to work anyway" the redhead informed the blonde. To which Deidara grumbled before saying his goodbyes and leaving.

Sasori was next to bid everyone farewell. An pretty soon it was just Y/n and Itachinleft.

"Ready ?" Asked to which Y/n nodded and got up starting to lead the way back to her place.

During their walk back to her home the two got to know each quite well. Discovering they had just as many similarities as they did differences.

Upon walking up to her driveway Y/n halted in her tracks. Her door wide open every light in the house had been turned on.

"What the hell I eve4lrything off and locked the door when we left. Granted Sasori had told her she didnt need to but old habits die hard so she did.

Itachi frowned sliding infront of the female. "Any family members that might be home?" He asked.

"No it's just me for a few months" she shrugged and started to walk towards the front door

"Dont someone might have broken in" Iatachi lightly grabbed her wrist.

Just as she was about to touch the front door. Every light in the house turned off, the front door still wide open as a growl sounded out.

Itachi gentlynpulled the female to his arms"let's stay outside I'm calling the sheriff . Let's have him check the house and see if anyone hiding in it" to which Y/n bodded stunned had she really just moved into a actually haunted house.

Tag list @femboyneji @fryingpanitachi @thatwritingho @fluffyfoodie7482 @mithology-marveloholick @munofsilver @yikesfandomtrash @anniarchy @loxoceleste @thebluemoonwolf @thecrowsangel32 @hpphantom @httphyungwonnie @tsumtsumsemi @nctdpr @karateandbands

[akatsukibandhscenarios]

67. Parents’ Date Time

Pein

You and Pein figured that Elliot was old enough to remain by himself for a night. So, you two got ready for a night out and left your son to himself. You told Konan to check up on him every so often though, so you and Pein were sure that Elliot would be alright. So, with your worries put away for a little while, you and Pein headed out. 

“Pein, where are you taking me?” You question as Pein held your hand and guided you through the streets. He kept his mouth shut and just continued to lead you around the village. You both were dressed differently than usual and it was in a fancy style of clothing. So, you had a feeling that you knew where he was taking you, and it turned out that you were correct. Pein eventually led you to the fancy restaurant that you'd been wanting to go to. You'd talked about it for a while now, but you didn't think that Pein paid any attention to your words.

“How about we eat here tonight?” Pein asked, even though he knew what your answer was going to be. You quickly nodded your head and followed him inside. There, you two sat down right away and began your romantic dinner. You ate the best dishes there and drank the best alcohol that they had. It was a very enjoyable dinner for you.

“This has been the best night in a while, Pein, I'm glad you brought me out here.” You were holding hands as you left the restaurant and was smiling brightly up at him. 

“The night isn't over yet.” You had a feeling that you were going to be enjoying much more tonight than you'd experienced in a while. So, you let him lead you elsewhere to continue the enjoyable night. 

Zetsu

You were surprised when Zetsu busted through the living room door and demanded that Danny and Sammy left the hideout to go play at a nearby park. You were even more confused when the boys just listened to him and left the room to go get ready. Within a few minutes, the boys were gone and Zetsu was dragging you into the kitchen. Once you got in there, you saw candles lit on the table and dinner laid out with them. The food was everything that you loved and there was alcohol there that you also enjoyed. You were surprised and gasped out when you realized that Zetsu had done all this specifically for you. 

“I got rid of the kids for us to have a date night.” Black Zetsu stated simply to you as he tugged you along towards the table. You followed after him and sat down in the chair where he guided you to.

“You did all this for me?” You questioned in awe of your husband. He wasn't really one to do something nice for you, so it was obvious that you'd be a little surprised over this. 

“Of course I did. We needed a date night.” White Zetsu responded with a smile on his face. While Black Zetsu responded, “Just shut up and start eating.” 

“Alright then, I will.” You decided to ignore Black Zetsu's comment. So, with that, you began to dig in and eat up everything that you wanted to, while Zetsu did the same thing. Eventually, both of you had your fills and stopped eating and drinking. “Thank you for this, Zetsu, I really appreciate it.”

“Oh? If you appreciate it so much, prove it.” Black Zetsu was hinting at something, and you were following right with his thought. The rest of the time you had alone was spent in the bedroom.

Sasori

When you got home from grocery shopping, you realized that the children were gone and Sasori was alone in the hideout. You were a little worried about that but before you could dwell on it, Sasori put the groceries down and led you away. He led you to the room you two shared together and then guided you to the bed. All this without speaking a single word. 

“Sasori? What's going on?” You were a little hesitant to lie down but allowed him to shove you down on your stomach. It was then Sasori decided to speak, only because he began to sense that you were a little worried.

“You have been tense and stressed out recently. I will help you relieve that.” To your surprise, Sasori began to massage your shoulders.

“W-What are you doing?” You weren't sure why he was suddenly being so kind to you. It was completely out of character. 

“Just be quiet and enjoy this before I lose my patience with you.” He snapped at you, but there was no bite in his tone. He was almost embarrassed to have to explain why he was being so kind to you. 

“Very well. I'll shut up.” You just went along for the ride and allowed Sasori to massage your shoulders and back. After a while, you must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing you knew, Sasori was shaking you and complaining. 

“What is wrong with you? I can't believe that you just fell asleep during that. What a waste of my time.” Sasori was almost pouting at you. You were surprised by his actions. So, you got up and wrapped your arms around him. 

“Don't worry, I'll make it up to you.” Your tone was quite suggestive and it seemed like Sasori caught onto what you were suggesting. 

Itachi

Itachi woke you up early one morning. He had breakfast for you ready for you to eat in bed. It was your favorite breakfast foods and drinks. He had his own food as well. As you two ate, Itachi explained the situation to you. He explained that Serenity was out at a friend's house, leaving the two of you the entire day to spend alone together. Itachi had a few things planned out at home. The breakfast was just one of his ideas to do. 

“So what's next?” You questioned after Itachi began to take away the dishes from breakfast. He just gave you a small smile and left the room with the dishes. He returned after a few moments and climbed back into bed with you. You were confused until he spoke up.

“You once told me that you wished there was more time for us to just sit around and do nothing together. Well, that's exactly what we are going to do now.” Itachi simply explained as he reached over and pulled you against him. He effectively started to cuddle with you, leaving you confused at his sudden affectionate side. 

“Alright then, that sounds great!” Once you shook off the shock, you were excited to do nothing with Itachi. And do nothing was exactly what you did, well except for talking. The two of you spent hours just relaxing in bed chatting with each other. You talked about everything and nothing at the same time. It was very pleasant for you both. However, eventually, the two of you ran out of things to talk about, and another small smile appeared on Itachi's face. “What's next?”

“Next? How about I show you.” With those words, Itachi laid you down on the bed and began his next fun activity for the day. 

Deidara

“Come with me, hm.” Was the first thing Deidara demanded of you as soon as you walked back into the hideout after seeing Nova off to school. You were confused but followed along with him as he led you to his workshop. “Stay there, hm.” He pointed to a spot on the floor, and you walked over to it, to just stand there. Deidara disappeared into the back part of his workshop and rustled around for a moment before coming out. He now carried something the size of a human and set it on the ground in front of you. It was covered in a cloth and whatever was under it, seemed to be something made out of clay.

“What is going on, Dei?” You finally questioned after realizing that he wasn't going to talk. You were very confused now. 

“This is what I want to show you, hm.” You weren't even aware he wanted to show you something in the first place, but whatever. Deidara then lifted the cloth that was over the thing and revealed you standing there. “I made this bomb in shape of you. It's my best creation so far, hm!” Deidara was very pleased with his creation. You couldn't help but smile at him. 

“That's amazing, Dei.” You felt proud of him and wanted to give him something back in return. “Since you showed me how much you loved me, I want to show you how much I love you.” 

“Oh, how are you going to show me, hm?” Deidara could hear the suggestive tone that you spoke with and just decided to go along with it. 

“We have until Nova gets home, let's make the most of it.” You then practically pounced on him. The two of you would most definitely make the most of your time together. 

Hidan

You and Hidan were out on a hunt for people to sacrifice. You were without the kids because this was going to be a more private sacrifice that would be ending with you and Hidan without clothing. This was going to be very bloody and very inappropriate. You didn't want your children to see it, so you decided to turn it into a date night type of thing. It'd involve murder and self-harm, making it different from a normal date night, but it would hopefully be great anyway. 

“Hidan, how about those people?” You questioned as you hid in the bushes with your husband. Hidan just shook his head at you and pointed to a couple that was walking along further away from where you two were hiding. They were holding hands and laughing with each other. It seemed that they were having a date night of their own. 

“How about those fucks?” Hidan returned with a question of his own. You thought about it for a moment and then nodded your head. 

“Alright, let's choose them. They look like they are happy, let's ruin it.” You responded with a smile on your face. You and Hidan then left the bushes and made your way to the couple. You followed behind them for a short period of time before they branched off and decided to walk down a path that led them away from the main part of the village. That sealed their fate. So, you and Hidan followed after them and jumped them. They were quickly subdued and dragged into the surrounding forest. 

Once the couple was decently into the forest, you and Hidan began your fun. Stab for stab, scream for scream, you and Hidan enjoyed slaughtering these two lovers. Afterward, once they were good and dead, you and Hidan moved onto the next part of your night. Which was a wonderful rendezvous in the forest. 

Kakuzu

To your surprise, Kristina was not at home. Kakuzu explained to you that she was out at the park for the day and that you and he were the only ones there. You were instantly excited to hear that but was then let down when Kakuzu told you that you were going to help him count his money. You were down but still happy about it. It was very rare that he'd allow someone else to touch his money, so you felt a bit happy that you were worthy to do so. 

“How much do you have in that stack right there?” Kakuzu questioned as you finished up counting the bunch of money that you had in your hand. You told him the amount, but he didn't seem to believe you so he took the money from you and counted it himself. That made you a little annoyed causing you to turn away from your husband. “What is it?”

“I'm not happy with you right now.” You simply responded as you crossed your arms. You could hear Kakuzu rustle around and set the money back in the briefcase before moving closer to you. He wrapped his arms around you and whispered into your ear. 

“How about I make it up to you?” His voice was suggestive and it made tingles go up your spine. Even so, you didn't forgive him so easily. You just continued to pout and kept your face far away from his. 

“Oh? How are you going to make it up to me?” Only then did you turn to look at him. You smirked at him, knowing full well what he was about to do to you. So, you just went along with the ride and allowed him to take all your cares away. 

Tobi

Obito surprised you one afternoon with the information that Dexter was going to be out of the house the rest of the night with Deidara. He then surprised you some more with a large amount of candy that now resided in your bedroom. It was clear that this was a surprise for you, and you were very excited about it. 

“This is amazing Obito!” You happily spoke up as you entered the bedroom and headed to the bed where most of the candy sat. you climbed into bed and began to eat. Obito followed suit and began to eat as well. The two of you began to chat as you ate your candy. It was quite peaceful actually. You two hadn't had any chance to just be alone and enjoy each other's company. So, you two ate to your hearts' content. Eventually, you two had to stop eating before you got sick thought. Even so, a smile appeared on Obito's face.

“So, what do you think about another sweet surprise?” Obito asked as he smirked at you. You weren't sure what he was talking about though. You couldn't help but cock your head to the side and question him. 

“What do you mean?” You questioned instead of answering. You were a little confused. You didn't completely understand what he was speaking of until he pushed you down on the bed and began to kiss you. Then it hit you what he was speaking of. “Oh, I see.” You couldn't help but giggle and wrap your arms around Obito. “Let's do this then.” 

“It was always the plan.” Obito chuckled and began to kiss you once again. Everything then went from cute to sensual. You now knew that it was going to be a great continuation of the night. 

Kisame

Kisame surprised you with a picnic basket when you got home from dropping Alexander off at the park for the day. Kisame didn't stop there though, he then dragged you out of the hideout and to a secluded lake that you'd never been to before. It was beautiful there. The almost clear water shinned beautifully and it was surrounded by your favorite color of flowers. It was breathtaking to you and it excited you all at once. 

“Why haven't you brought me here before?” You demanded as you turned to face Kisame. He just smiled down at you and shrugged. That seemed to irritate you, causing him to finally speak up.

“I wanted it to be a surprise for a special day, and that day is today,” Kisame spoke with a smirk on his face. You nodded your head in return since that was an alright response. “Want to eat some food, or jump in the water first?” Kisame's question brought you out of your thoughts. You looked from the picnic basket to the water and then to Kisame. You were about to respond, when your stomach began to growl, effectively speaking up for you.

“I guess we should eat first, huh?” You stated with a chuckle of embarrassment. Kisame full-on laughed and then set the basket down once he caught his breath once more. He pulled out a blanket and laid it on the ground. You both then sat on it and began to eat your favorite picnic foods. After you ate and rested a bit, you decided that you wanted to jump into the water, but you had no swimsuit to wear. “How am I supposed to get into the water without a swimsuit, or did you pack one of those as well?” To your question, Kisame smiled a devious smile.

“How about we get in there naked and you show me how much you enjoyed today, alright?” Kisame's voice was hinting at sexual notions and you instantly agreed with him. 

“I can do that.” You began to ditch your clothing as he did and let's just say that things went very well for the rest of the day. 

Madara

Madara decided that you both needed time away from the children. So, you both left them at home and went to another close-by village to see a show. It was a show you'd been telling Madara that you'd wanted to see for a little while now. So of course when he told you about his plans you were thrilled and excited. The show ended up being amazing and everything that you thought it'd be. 

“Madara, that was great! We should see their next work as well!” You gushed to your husband as you left the place. “I guess we should head home to the kids now, huh?” Madara just shook his head and took your hand. He then began to guide you in the direction of an inn.

“I have more plans than just a show,” Madara spoke up as he led you into the inn. There was a person waiting there for the two of you and they guided you to a private room where there was food laid out for you and Madara. It was all your favorites and you became excited once again. 

“This is lovely! How did you plan all this?” You questioned as you looked around at everything. The room itself was fairly beautiful as well and there was a large bed with rose petals all over it. 

“Anything for you,” Madara responded immediately with a smile on his face. You couldn't help but hug him before sitting down to start eating. Madara followed your actions and sat next to you and began to eat his favorite foods as you ate yours. After you two ate and chatted for a little while, Madara began to lead you to the bed. You had a wonderful feeling that the night was just getting started. 

[darquedeath4444]

The Pain We Share

Chapter THREE

"Kill it."

No-

"Kill it, that is an order."

No, no-

"Kill it."

No, because she was not a murderer, she-

"I will give you until I count down from five,"

Her hands were shaking and the thing before her, small and also shaking, was screaming-

"Five,"

She didn't want to. She knew what pain felt like, and she wouldn't wish it on anyone else-

"Four,"

But if she didn't, he would hurt her, hurt them, just like he had yesterday, and the day before, and every single day before that-

"Three,"

And she didn't want to hurt anymore-

"Two,"

Her body surged with power, the power to protect them in the only way she knew-

"One,"

She wondered why, despite the coldness of her actions, the blood of the consequences were warm to touch-

"Good job."

With each drop of crimson spilt, she was protecting them.

They decided that Sasori, in his current state, would be safer with the team than if he and Deidara were to try and make their way back out of the base. Fortunately, there really was not a lot of resistance from Orochimaru's side. Most of the men they came across were all unskilled, their expertise lying in the research side of things, and the guards they did come across were nothing against Itachi and Kisame. The Uchiha cast illusions over them as they swept past, keeping them under until reinforcements came to take them in.

Soon, Konan's paper slowed their rapid movement, alerting them that the current floor was clear and that there was one last floor to check before they could deem the hideout safe. Deidara supported Sasori as they continued their slow trek through the dark corridors. They stopped at the foot of the stairs that led to the lowest floor of the hideout. Even from here, he could already tell that there was something different, wrong, with their final destination.

Sasori narrowed his eyes and he flexed his fingers, knowing that there was a possibility that they would be attacked, not only by Orochimaru's men lying in wait but also from experiments who had long lost their human conscious and sanity. He had come across plenty over the years, first when they had entered Orochimaru's office in the orphanages years ago to find the Snake long gone. They were not necessarily strong, but there were often many in a group. They also appeared to feel close to no pain and continued to attack even when missing whole limbs.

He cursed under his breath as his wounds continued to throb. He ignored Deidara's worried glance, though, as they descended.

The bottom of the stairs immediately opened up into a wide corridor, with cages on either side. The metal bars appeared very secure, and while many of the creatures within them reached out towards them with hooked hands and let out guttural cries as they passed, none of them appeared to be able to get out.

This floor was definitely where Orochimaru kept the most dangerous of his experiments.

Finally, they reached the end of the hallway where a single, securely bolted door sat before them. Itachi made quick work of the door, which turned out was not as hard to open as it had first appeared, and cautiously opened the door and stepped through, Kisame a step behind him.

Sasori then heard a sharp intake of breath from Itachi and frowned. For something to have brought a verbal reaction from the Uchiha, it had to be big. Deidara shifted his weight on his shoulder before they followed the pair into the dimly lit room.

He froze. If Deidara hadn't been holding him up, he was sure he would have collapsed.

Before them, on the floor of what could only be called a dungeon, sat a young, pink-haired girl. Her face was covered by her hair but even from a distance, he could tell that her entire body was limp. Her head was hanging and did not move even when their footsteps made sounds against the stone floor. Thick black lines marked her pale skin.

"She looks much more pleasant than anything else we've encountered in this hellhole," Kisame said softly. "You think she's Orochimaru's?"

"Is she dead?" Deidara asked.

Her wrists were chained up to the ceiling and Sasori could see the knife pinning her hands together against the stone wall. Something bubbled within him, and Sasori felt his own hands throbbing like a painful reminder.

He was knocked out of his stupor when Itachi rushed forward. "She is bleeding," he said, and Sasori realized with a start that the dark pool surrounding her was indeed blood. The whole area was filled with the stench of blood and death that he hadn't given it a second thought.

Kisame hurried to his partner's side. "Is she alive?"

Itachi nodded, hands flying to the girl's hands. "She is."

Kisame pulled out a roll of bandages from their first aid kit. Its contents were nowhere near good enough to take care of the girl's injuries, but it would have to do until someone with more knowledge in the area arrived or they got her to someplace proper equipped to help her.

Itachi gently eased the knives out from her hands and instantly began trying to stop the blood flow. Sasori simply watched, feeling the pain in his hands instantly dying away.

No.

Kisame inspected the chains holding the girl up, then drew his sword. Itachi nodded, and the older man swung his weapon, slicing the metal in half. The Uchiha gently caught the girl, who showed no signs of waking, and gently turned her around to reveal a back full of fresh, bleeding injuries.

Deidara winced. "Explains all the blood," he said. "The black lines are probably chakra mutation."

No.

Itachi tore the girl's ruined clothes from her thin frame and cleaned the wounds the best he could in their current situation before he pulled out an extra cloak and covered her with it. Kisame propped his sword over his shoulder, ready to protect them, and the Uchiha rose to his feet with the pinkette in his arms.

No, no no nonononono.

"I think we've got everything we need from here," Kisame said. "Should we head back up?"

Itachi nodded. "She needs medical attention," he added.

His wounds no longer hurt, and when he glanced at his hands they had scarred over like injuries from weeks ago. "Deidara?" He called softly.

The blond, who had been preparing to support him on their trip back towards the stairs, turned towards him. "Hm? You okay Danna? Do you want to rest or something?"

Itachi and Kisame both stopped to glance back at them as well.

Sasori slowly shook his head. "I-"

His throat felt dry and his voice sounded as though he had not used it in years. He swallowed, wincing at the dry feeling in his throat, and tried again.

"I think that girl is my Soulmate."

The four of them confirmed the arrival of the rest of their men. Itachi directed the leaders of the rest of the groups to sections of the base and gave them rundowns of what could be found where before they retreated back to the village where Konan and Zetsu were waiting.

It was not even questioned when the Uchiha continued to carry the unconscious pink-haired girl back with them, and while they received curious looks from many of their subordinates, no one asked any questions.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Sasori was quiet. The scars on his hands no longer hurt, and there was nothing that suggested they had hurt in the first place. The girl, his soulmate, lying in Itachi's arms gave no indication of hurting either, though that may have had something to do with the fact that she was no longer chained up in Orochimaru's dungeons.

Besides, if he wasn't hurting, she shouldn't be hurting. That was one of the things their bond told them after all.

Every once in a while he found his eyes drifting over towards the unconscious pinkette, because was she supposed to be so thin? Sasori knew, having experienced them himself, that the injuries the girl had received over the years were not anything to laugh about, and his was a momentary pain in comparison. From the way she had endured it all, he had thought that she would be taller, maybe, and stronger looking, not this….this pink-haired doll-like creature with hands half the size of his own and a waist so think he could probably wrap his hands around it.

At some point, Deidara released him to move on his own but Sasori barely noticed. His pain was long gone, but he was sure the stab wounds on the girl's hands were still hurting.

When they arrived, Konan did not appear awfully surprised to see the girl and Sasori guessed that Zetsu had already informed her of the extra person with them, though it was likely neither of them knew who exactly she was. Sasori was glad no one asked any questions for now.

The woman simply ordered Itachi to set up a few illusions around one of the spare rooms they had available and put the girl there for the time being; Kakuzu and Hidan were finished off their own job and were going to join them later that day and the former could patch her up then.

Kakuzu, who was the same age as Kisame at twenty-three, was one of the people Sasori talked the least to. They were on friendly terms, but both of them liked silence over conversation and they tended to sit in the same room reading or working rather than talking. He and Hidan were known as the 'Zombie pair' because of the way both of them were technically unkillable due to their chakra natures. Kakuzu had five different natural chakra storages within his body to the average person's one. While it was possible to manually store chakra in a part of the body, which was a difficult, delicate and time-consuming process in its own right, being born with more than one was a very rare case. These five storages all worked together whenever Kakuzu was injured to stitch the wound back together much faster than a normal person could.

Hidan, the other half of the Zombi pair, was a case of near-immortality Sasori could not quite explain. Unlike Kakuzu, who brought himself together to stay alive, Hidan's chakra appeared to be able to seal wounds and injuries with amazing accuracy and speed, allowing each decapitated part to stay alive without the aid of the heart or the brain or a very long time until someone stitched him back together again. Sasori had been present during one of those operations, and he was frankly okay with not knowing how it worked because it had been very disturbing to watch. Not to mention the silverette was loud. He stayed away from Hidan if he could help it.

The two of them arrived at the village a few hours later. Sasori did not say a word to them about the situation, and the rest of them present seemed to take that as a sign that they should stay silent as well. Sasori simply wanted to be left with his thoughts, and while Kakuzu was capable of giving him the silence he wanted he was sure Hidan was not.

Kakuzu did not question anything when Konan pointed out the room the girl was being kept in. Despite that, Hidan asked enough questions to drive Sasori up the wall of insanity. Deidara seemed to catch onto his annoyance, for he loudly called Hidan annoying, effectively cutting off the older man. Hidan paused for a split second, glancing over at Sasori as though he finally realized how he was not confirming Deidara's claims like he usually would, before he glared at the blond and rained a barrage of insults onto him, questions supposedly forgotten.

Soon, Kakuzu exited from the girl's temporary room. "I've stitched up her wounds," he said. "Though I actually think she would have been fine either way."

"What do you mean, un?" Deidara asked.

Kakuzu shrugged and plopped himself down on an open chair. "It might be the results of Orochimaru's experiments, or maybe it's her chakra nature, but it appears her body seems to have natural healing powers."

That thought fills Sasori with a sense of relief because if she healed fast she probably didn't feel the pain for long, didn't hurt-

But wait, why did he care?

He felt Deidara's eyes on him again and forced himself to clear his face of emotions.

"Who is she anyway?" Hidan asked, a little quieter than earlier. Konan glanced over at Itachi, then at Sasori, probably expecting the more responsible of the team to explain. The Uchiha glanced over at him too, and soon Sasori could tell everyone was looking at him.

"She-" Sasori hesitated, "we found her in Orochimaru's base, and I think...I believe she is my soulmate."

Silence met his revelation before Hidan exploded. "WHAT?"

Konan was a lot more composed. "Why do you say so?"

Sasori held up his hands, where the knife marks had scarred over. "For one, I got these during the operation. The pain tends to fade after the initial burst unless the injury is continuously stimulated being wounded. That usually never happens with us, but these continued to hurt long after. We found the girl chained up, with her hands pinned up with a knife. That explains why my marks continued to hurt, and also explains why they scarred over moments after Itachi pulled out the knife." He thought over his next words before he continued. "Also, all the injuries and pain will be explained if she were one of Orochimaru's….pets. She was bleeding her life out when we found her; who knows what she was put through?" He hesitated with his final reason, simply because he had never been one to rely on superstitions. "That, and I have a feeling."

"You feel that she is your soulmate?" Hidan asked in disbelief.

Sasori scowled. "Yes."

Hidan went uncharacteristically quiet at his strong reply and Sasori resisted the urge to sigh, because how was he supposed to explain a gut feeling he himself didn't even understand?

Konan seemed to consider his words for a while before she nodded. "Okay. I think your reasons are valid," she began. "It will be beneficial to confirm at a later date, but I think it is reasonable to assume that you two do share the soulmate bond."

Sasori felt himself relax.

"The girl will be brought back to base," Konan continued. "Of course we will have to keep an eye on her, seeing as she appears to have been one of Orochimaru's experiments, but from what you have told me it looks as though she was not a willing follower. I'm sure we can find something on the files we recovered from the Northern hideout."

They were then dismissed for the night. Sasori raided the food storage before he retreated to his room, mind spinning and all the long-gone scars he remembered tingling.

Later that day Sasori found himself sitting on a chair next to the girl's bed, the one Kakuzu had probably used during the healing process. Return back to the Akatsuki headquarters had been set to the following morning, leaving them with the night to rest up. He had felt he would not be able to sleep at all, though, with everything that had happened, and Itachi had quietly suggested he go sit with the girl for a while and sort out his thoughts.

The girl looked much better than when he had first seen her. The blood had been cleaned up and all the grime and dirt had been scrubbed off of her body. The black markings on her skin had vanished and Sasori wondered if it was a part of some chakra related ability. She still looked skinny and frail but considering her past residence that was reasonable.

All in all, she did not look like someone who had suffered from heavy injuries over the years.

Sasori thought back to Kakuzu's words as he made himself comfortable.

Perhaps her regeneration abilities had led to Orochimaru's interest in her? If she healed fast, that meant more experiments could be conducted. Sasori then thought back to his promise of retaliation and inwardly winced.

This girl had been suffering in one of the worst possible places, at the hands of Orochimaru. Her wrist looked like it would snap if he so much as gripped it tightly, and a dark part of his mind reminded him that it would probably heal just as fast.

He glanced up at the girl's face. Since he had entered she hadn't so much as fluttered an eyelash, though the soft sounds of her breathing and the steady rise and fall of her chest clearly indicated that she was alive. He wondered what colour her eyes were.

"You made my life a mess," he told her. "I'd start hurting out of the blue, at the most random times, and I had no way to stop it." He glanced at the girl's hands, where scars identical to his own marred her skin. "Though if you were with the snake I guess you didn't have much of a choice either."

He slowly reached out and ran a finger over the pale skin of her arm. If he dug his nails into her flesh, he would feel the pain as well. He would never be able to harm his Soulmate without suffering the same consequences. No matter what, there was someone out there who understood one's pain and suffering. He wondered if that was the twisted sort of relationship that drew people into the whole concept.

He felt something twitch beneath his fingers and slowly looked up to see the greenest pair of eyes he had ever seen. It took him a second to gauge that the girl was awake. It took him another to notice she was slowly reaching for him.

It took him one more to realize the snap that was his wrist breaking under the girl's dainty fingers and that she was bolting for the door

Or that was what she told her self, again and again, just like she had yesterday, and the day before, and every single day before that, as, with each murder, she killed a little of herself.

At least until one day, there was nothing left to kill.

Chapter FOUR>

<Chapter TWO

Chapter List

[avenger-hawk]

How do you think Sasuke's story would have gone if he were never told the truth about Itachi?

Sasuke didn’t even imagine his life after Itachi’s death. Everything he lived for, everything he trained for, everything he planned, ended with his revenge, with Itachi’s death. There was nothing beyond that.

In the anime (ep478) he’s shown on the ground, beside Itachi’s dead body, falling into unconsciousness and saying: “Niisan, I’ll be seeing you soon”. I always thought that he would have wanted to die after Itachi, and that scene validates it. If someone objects that it’s something added by SP, the same thing can be seen on Sasuke’s look when he woke up in Obito’s hideout. He was an empty shell, uninterested in anything until Obito mentioned his brother and the truth. Besides, let me remind that (cap309, or ep52 or 53) when Naruto yelled at Sasuke that Orochimaru wanted to use his body as a vessel (thus implying the death of his identity, his consciousness, at the very least) Sasuke clearly replies: “If I can obtain the power to defeat Itachi by giving myself over to Orochimaru I would gladly give him my life many times over”.

(long post ahead)

Itachi has always been what kept Sasuke alive, in more than one way. He accepted to carry on the massacre to spare his life, he manipulated him so that he would have a reason to exist, making revenge his only purpose, he made sure that his hate would only be focused on him.

Even though Sasuke never really hated him, as Itachi himself noticed when he said that he didn’t have enough hate.

The future Itachi envisioned for Sasuke was for him to get stronger in Konoha then find him, and kill him, thus obtaining a new power, prestige for having killed an S-rank criminal such as he was, and most of it all peace, finally having obtained his revenge.

He miscalculated his importance for Sasuke though. He thought his brother would compartmentalize his hate somehow, being able to put it aside and live a life as normal as it could be in his circumstances, and sometimes it looked like it was almost happening, because of his bond with Kakashi, Team 7, and most of it all Naruto, whose life he saved at the cost of his own.

Yet it didn’t happen because of their meeting at the inn. That event destroyed Sasuke’s already low self-esteem, showing him how little he had grown in terms of strength, making him vulnerable to Orochimaru’s manipulation and making him eventually leave. Still for Itachi’s plan, however an unplanned setback (and a very dangerous one…I’m sure Itachi was very very worried about his brother in the hands of someone he knew very well, from his days as Danzo’s subordinate and from his Akatsuki days), it would have still led to the same conclusion. His death, by Sasuke’s hands. It would have even granted him Konoha’s pardon, because in Itachi’s mind it was obvious that once Sasuke killed him he would return to the village and resume his life.

Like I said Itachi miscalculated Sasuke’s feelings. He didn’t realize how deep they were, how irreplaceable he was for his brother, how impossible it was to compartmentalize his hate and put it aside and live normally, especially after having felt so worthless against him. Sasuke followed Orochimaru, well knowing how dangerous it was, because he needed strength, and not the strenght he could acquire in Konoha, by regular training, but the power granted by someone who put no limits on his knowledge, using forbidden jutsu and whatever he laid his hands on. Exactly what Sasuke needed to defeat someone as strong as his brother.

(In fact, the only time Sasuke looked really afraid in part 2 was exactly when Itachi was coming towards him, after he used all his powers. He was stepping back and his legs were trembling and he looked frightened. I don’t think he was afraid of dying actually, on that occasion. He was afraid of Itachi himself…actually he has that same expression even when Edo Tensei Itachi is coming towards him, although it’s for a short moment. To me it’s because his body was remembering the trauma of the night of the massacre and of that day of their final fight, before Itachi poked him and died…)

However, his revenge was a complex thing. It wasn’t like the typical revenge where you feel satisfaction and accomplishment. It wasn’t like Shikamaru’s, for example. Shikamaru hated Hidan, once he defeated him and avenged Asuma, he was satisfied and ready to move on. (I won’t consider how hypocritical is the different treatment their revenges had because this is not the topic but still)

Sasuke never really hated Itachi…even when he was running towards the inn, he remembers the best times of their childhood. Then he remembers the massacre and how evil he turned. In his memory, in his mind and heart, Itachi first appears as his beloved brother, and then as the evil murderer. It’s even more painful this way. Itach was his most important person and later he became his reason to live, someone he forced himself to hate, someone he focused on constantly, especially during his training under Orochimaru. 

The look he had when he woke up in that cave speaks volumes on how broken he was, how empty he was. It’s like his life has lost any purpose, any meaning. He only existed to avenge his clan against his brother. In the past, when he fought Gaara and protected Naruto against him, he had thought that if he were to die that day it would have meant that he wasn’t strong enough, that he wasn’t worthy enough, to carry on his revenge. It was never about him, it was always about his purpose, his brother. So he’s completely empty, before he’s told the truth, before he finds a new purpose, still related to Itachi, even more related to Itachi.

If Sasuke weren’t told the truth, he would have been completely lost, without a purpose.     

I see 3 possible outcomes. I saw 2 at first but I later edited this post with a 3rd.

He would have stayed with Obito.

I added this cause I hadn’t considered it at first but it’s not impossible. Sasuke would have left the masked weird Akatsuki guy who used to be Deidara’s partner if that very guy didn’t give him something. But Obito might have pushed on being another Uchiha, manipulating him using their common blood as connection. He might have convinced Sasuke that there is nothing in Konoha for him, and at this point he would be right and with Sasuke feeling empty and apathetic, it would be easy to ‘keep him’, and, with the right push, turn him to his side. Not because he’d want to destroy Konoha cause not knowing the truth he wouldn’t care about them, but telling him about Infinite Tsukuyomi, and the possibility to have Itachi back, for example. And Itachi who never killed their parents. A vulnerable, empty Sasuke might see this as a purpose for living.

He would have been found by Konoha.

They would have taken him back to the village, where he would have been put in jail for a hopefully short time until someone (I want to think Kakashi since he just helped Shikamaru with his. Also…because. you know.) cleared their suspicions pointing out that Itachi was an S-Rank criminal and the favor he did to the village outweighed his desertion.

Thus Sasuke would be free, he’d return to his old apartment and he’d be reinstated as a shinobi in due time. His former team would be overjoyed to have him back but he would be detached, apathetic, completely disconnected. He would live mechanically, so to speak. 

Maybe, with time, he would get better. 

This is the future Itachi envisioned for him basically. Only I don’t think Sasuke’s healing process, his moving on, would be fast or easy, and I think he’d never really be happy anyway, because his heart would still ache for the loss of his most important person who, despite having killed their parents and clan and made his life miserable, would still be in his heart, no matter how.

It would take a lot of understanding and a lot of unconditional love to be beside Sasuke without judging, without imposing their ideas and feelings on him. In this scenario I’d like Kakashi to play an important role, because Sasuke looked up to him in part 1 and they had a bond, a strong affinity and chemistry and if only Kakashi had realized that if hiding behing rules and putting the village above himself and anything personal “worked” for him as coping mechanism, it doesn’t mean it would work for everyone, certainly not for Sasuke. Same for Naruto, who should give him space and never impose his values on him.

This is more or less the typical Emi10/Rankai doujinshi AU. And in general it’s a nice AU to read. 

He would have been found by his team, Team Hebi. 

They would have healed him and stayed by his side. He would have woken up with that broken look, not hearing a single thing they said, they would have made their usual mess but they’d have kept their eyes on him, never leaving him alone. Sasuke would have probably wanted to be left alone, and maybe he would have escaped to be on his own, not eating or sleeping or anything, and they would have found him after a while and cared for him, taking him outside in the sun, showing him random little things just to keep his mind off pain and suffering and lack of will to live. 

They would travel, doing odd jobs when they got out of money.

One of my Team Hebi/Taka headcanons is that when Sasuke killed Orochimaru he also took all his money he could find, because he didn’t have anything of his own, and certainly Suigetsu or Juugo didn’t have any. Karin did have some earned money instead, but Sasuke has been shown paying for the weapons and in the anime also paying for all those desserts for Suigetsu so~

Not being in Konoha, a place with too many sad memories, would benefit Sasuke, although he wouldn’t be happy. He would find a sort of peace faster though.

When he freed Suigetsu then Orochimaru’s prisoners, Suigetsu told them to spread the word, that a man had come to bring peace to this world. Suigetsu was so grateful to Sasuke that he defined him a savior for prisoners and oppressed, a detail that has been overlooked with the further development of the plot. I think it’s an important detail that might give an idea of his possible development if he hadn’t known the truth. 

Away from Konoha, not bound by any loyalty, with his unusual comrades beside, a free group of people travelling and helping when needed.

Even though Sasuke’s heart would still ache for the loss of his most important person.

[ladykissingfish]

*Konan, getting ready for a date with an outside-of-the-Akatsuki ninja*

Konan: Okay, everyone, I’m leaving. I’ll be back by ten!

Hidan: Have a great time, little princess.

Kisame: Be safe.

Deidara: You look beautiful tonight, hm. Hope your date is fun!

Konan: Aw, thanks, guys! See you later! *she leaves*

Hidan: Alright, men; operation Kill The Asshole is now in effect.

Itachi: What sort of man has a woman go to meet HIM, rather than picking her up at her door?! Absolutely deplorable.

Deidara: Let’s go over the plan again, hm.

Hidan: *lays a map on the table* Okay so here’s the restaurant they’re going to. Obito and Itachi, you both leave now, take this route, and get there before they do. Obito, you disguise yourself as a waiter and put the time-release toxic agent that Sasori made into his drink. When he starts to feel like shit, you offer to escort him to the restaurant’s private bathroom. By the time he gets there, his legs should have stopped working entirely. Itachi, you put him in a gengetsu and torment him for 72 hours.

Kisame: By this time Kakuzu and I should have arrived. Itachi, you drag him into the alley of the restaurant, Kakuzu uses his tentacles to hold him in place, and I use Samehada to drain his chakra and kill him. Zetsu, you come immediately after and eat him, to destroy the evidence. Meanwhile I show up at the restaurant and go to Konan and tell her there’s an emergency back here and she needs to come home right away.

Deidara: Wait; what about me, hm?

Sasori: You stay here and try and get THAT one to pull himself together before she comes back.

Nagato, rocking back and forth in the corner, crying: Konan WHHHYYYY?! How could you date someone else my love, my angel?! *sobs*

Deidara: … damn.

Obito: Really your own fault for not confessing to her when you had the chance, Leader.

Hidan: And ya better fuckin’ do it soon, because we can’t murder a guy every time she gets a date.

Zetsu, stomach growling: I mean I don’t have a problem with it …

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Seven // “Tobi”

Tobi

Expendable. This is the word that Obito Uchiha hears most frequently from his “savior” and Master, Madara: Expendable. “Everyone in that group is expendable, Obito. Pawns. A means to an end. Getting attached is pointless; they are not your family; I am.” And maybe he’s right, but ... it’s already too late for Obito. He IS attached to this group; they’ve become the family that he’s never had. They weren’t Expendable by any stretch of the imagination, and Obito lives just to be around them ... even when he’s forced to act like the simpleton that Tobi is. Still, there are times when the Uchiha can have a lot of fun with these people — and this Mistletoe game is definitely one of them.

Itachi

Itachi is a difficult one for Obito to read , and even harder to understand. On one level, he’s positive that Itachi knows (or at the very least suspects) that “Tobi” isn’t who he portrays himself to be. But on the other hand, two things that Obito can read for sure are that Itachi is sick, and his depression is so immense that it crushes out almost all other thoughts. Itachi is the sole reason Obito keeps presenting himself as the idiotic Tobi, because to reveal himself would mean death, swift and sweet. He’s not even sure that Madara would have the power to stand up to Itachi. Nevertheless, the time and place for such thoughts isn’t standing under the mistletoe. “Heya, Itachi-san! Ya ready to kiss Tobi now?” Itachi merely nods, but makes no move to approach Tobi. So Tobi walks up to him instead, moves the mask just slightly off his lips, and kisses his cheek. “There ya go!” Itachi goes, and Obito breathes out a sigh of relief. Still, though, he can’t help but feel a little sad, at what he feels to be the impending demise of his fellow clansmen.

Sasori

Sasori has mixed feelings about Tobi. On the one had he feels that he’s just a simplistic moron who doesn’t really warrant a second thought. But on the other hand — Tobi seems really, really attached to his Senpai, and Sasori’s partner, Deidara. Attached in a way that seems, at times, in a way that’s more than purely friendly. Almost like he — but wait, why does Sasori even care what Tobi may or may not feel for the young blonde? It’s not as though Sasori has (or desires) any kind of claim on Deidara, right? The fact that Tobi is standing in front of him right now and Sasori wants nothing more than to murder him and toss his body to the wolves has absolutely nothing to do with Deidara, right? The fact that Pein keeps Sasori back at the hideout more and more to help with strategizing, and sends Tobi out with Deidara in Sasori’s place ... it was all for the best, right? “Oh boy! Tobi gets to kiss Sasori-san!” Sasori grimaces, as he always does, at the grating voice coming from behind the mask. Instead of waiting for Tobi to kiss him, Sasori takes the initiative by leaning up and quickly kissing his cheek. He walks away feeling inexplicably angry ... and it’s not until much later that night, as he’s sitting at his desk working on a puppet while everyone else sleeps ... that he realizes that when he kissed Tobi, he smelled the shampoo that Deidara used. He continues working but doesn’t get much accomplished, as he spends half the night pondering why the idea of Tobi being around Deidara makes him feel so unsettled.

Kisame

Ugh; this kid. Or was Tobi older than that? Kisame honestly had no idea how old Tobi actually was; he doubted that any of them did. Granted he acted like a tall 10 year old — but surely that’s just an act. He’d have to remember to ask Deidara later — did Tobi have any special combat skills? Did he know any useful jutsus? What was his fighting style like? So many unknowns, so many things to wonder about. And throughout it all, wafting from Tobi and straight into Kisame’s nostrils, that unmistakable scent of a predator. But in the wild, the only way to show superiority to a predator was to show that you weren’t afraid. Kisame walks confidently up to him, and flashes him a wide smile that showcases all of his razor-sharp teeth. “You ready, kid?” Tobi nods, and to Kisame’s credit, Tobi actually DOES seem intimidated by the death-trap mouth. That, and the fact that samehada, who is currently strapped to Kisame’s side, has his head up and staring directly at the man in the mask. Kisame steps forward and kisses Tobi’s forehead, then quickly walks away again, before his own fear can leak through his brave facade.

Zetsu

Zetsu flat-out declines to kiss Tobi. Partially because he knows exactly who he really is, and the two have been “friends” for so long that a kiss would just be strange. The other reason is because he hasn’t eaten in two days, having just returned from a long-term mission about an hour ago. He’s so hungry that anything and everything looks delicious, and if he were to try and kiss “Tobi” right then — there’s no doubt that he would have eaten him. And Madara would surely skin him alive for that. So he simply nods at Tobi, and nobody questions why the two don’t exchange a kiss.

Pein

Mysterious and concealed. That’s how Pein (or rather Nagato) would describe “Tobi”; mysterious and concealed. Being around Tobi gives him a strange feeling deep in his sunken chest, that maybe, just maybe, Nagato isn’t the one running this show. That Tobi is actually someone he needs to watch out for. Still, though, it is unfitting to show one’s misgivings to one’s (possible) enemy. As far as Tobi knows, Pein just thinks of him like one of his “children”. Pein approaches him and kisses the cheek of his mask, not giving Tobi time to remove it. “Thank you, Leader-sama!” Pein nods and walks away, wondering whether he just imagined a hint of condensation in Tobi’s voice upon calling Pein “Leader”.

Konan

When Obito was growing up, like many of the kids in Konoha, he didnt’ have a household with a mother and father in it. He was raised by his grandmother who, although loving and kind, didn’t really provide Obito with the kind of matronly emotional support that he needed. When he came to the Akatsuki, Konan more or less filled that role for him. As she did with everyone else, she cooked for him, she washed his clothes, she cleaned up after him. She scolded him when she felt he did something reckless and foolish, and, most importantly, she cared about him. To have someone care about you in a reality where you sometimes don’t even care about yourself is an amazing feeling. Konan approaches him with a shy smile on her face, her tiny dimples showcasing the young girl she had once been. Aside from Rin, Konan is probably the warmest person Obito has ever met. He moves his mask, thinks about it, and gives Konan a gentle kiss on the tip of her chin, then another on her forehead. Then he pulls her into his arms, embracing her warmly. “Thank you, Konan,” he says, in a low, almost-Obito-like voice. “For what?” “For being Tobi’s friend.” Konan blushes and smiles; as she leaves she tells Tobi that when he’s done with his turn, to come and get some of the pie she’s made, to which Tobi happily agrees.

Hidan

Hidan is blushing pretty damn hard as he walks up to Tobi; after what happened when it was Hidan’s turn under the mistletoe, it’s understandable why. “Listen, you orange fuck — don’t pull any of that shit you did last time, alright?” Tobi tilts his head and studies him as if confused. “What do you mean, Hidan-san? Didn’t you like kissing Tobi?”, he asks, and then, his voice dropping into a somewhat playful whisper, “Tobi sure liked kissing YOU.” Hidan blushes even harder, and mutters a “Just do it already, weirdo.” Tobi removes his mask enough so that Hidan can see the flash of his teeth, smiling before tilting Hidan backwards ((and Hidan is surprised at how strong Tobi is)) and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. As it was last time, Hidan is visibly flustered. Tobi smiles even wider; in truth, Hidan is one of the few in the Akatsuki that Obito likes the least. He finds him to be emotion-driven and overly violent, and these things don’t make for a very good teammate. Still; there’s no denying that to be able to shut Hidan up, even for a few moments like now, is indescribably satisfying. Hidan is still standing there in a daze as Tobi slides his mask back into place, and Tobi can’t keep the glee out of his voice as he asks, “Aww Hidan-san; do you wanna marry Tobi now?” This snaps Hidan out of it, and his loud cursing and stomping off can be heard throughout the entire house.

Kakuzu

“Isn’t this ridiculous game over yet??” “No, Kakuzu-san! Don’t be shy; come get a kissy from Tobi!” Kakuzu just rolls his eyes; he’s never really been sure what to think of Tobi. He’s been on zero missions with him so he had absolutely no knowledge of his battle prowess or combat skills (but judging by the way Deidara complains about him, they can’t be all that good). Also, there’s the thing with him covering his face with that mask. Kakuzu isn’t really one to judge that; HE wears a mask as well. But with Tobi it’s not just a mask; it’s the long black clothing underneath the long Akatsuki robe. It’s the thick gloves. It’s the way not a single piece of skin save his toes ever sees the light of day. What’s he hiding? Kakuzu strongly suspects that Tobi might be one of the more elite ninjas listed in the Bingo Book, and if that’s the case, all Kakuzu has to do is wait for the right time to catch him off guard, capture him, and collect a (hopefully substantial) bounty for him. He approaches him and lets Tobi press his mask against Kakuzu’s mask in their version of a kiss. He resolves to study the Bingo Book in-depth tonight before bed; surely Tobi’s identify must be in there somewhere.

Deidara

The look on Deidara’s face is as he approaches Tobi is indecipherable, even to the one who has the sharingan. Fear, anxiety, excitement — and something else Obito just can’t read. And as for Obito himself — what exactly IS it that he feels for Deidara?? He’s nothing more than a pawn, right? A means to an end, as Madara would say. But ... there have been times. Times away from the various hideouts, out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but their packs and their thoughts, that Deidara has shown himself to be remarkably different from the Deidara that the others (except, likely, Sasori) sees. A quiet young man. A deep thinker. Sensitive and kind. And — “Oi, Tobi; can I ask you something?” “Yes, Senpai?” “When — when I was under the mistletoe ... did me and you kiss? Or did I really faint like you said?” A beat of quiet, and then, “Senpai always says that the past doesn’t matter, so why should it matter if we kissed or not?” Deidara chuckles and shakes his head. “You always choose to remember the most random things I tell you, hm. Damn you — I can never tell what goes on in your brain, Tobi.” “You wanna know what Tobi’s thinking right now? Tobi thinks that Senpai — Senpai is one of the most beautiful creatures Tobi has ever seen.” Deidara blushes fiercely at this, and tries to cover up his embarrassment by saying, gruffly , “Let’s just get this over with, Tobi, hm.” So Obito obliges him. He moves his mask to expose his mouth, sweeps Deidara’s long hair back, tilts him, cups his chin with his thumb and forefinger, and gently leans into him with his lips. Deidara resists at first, hesitant, but eventually he finds his arms circling Tobi’s broad shoulders, holding him tightly. He HAS to hold on because he’s terribly dizzy; he’s not quite sure what’s happening to him, but Deidara feels as though he’s falling down a very deep hole inside of his mind, and Tobi is the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. The kiss finally ends when (and only because) Sasori suddenly comes out of his room, yelling “Brat! I’ve been calling for you for ten minutes; you know I don’t like to be kept waiting!” Deidara steps away from Tobi, and he’s stumbling as though he’s a bit disorientated. “G-Goodnight, hm.” “G’nite Senpai! Sweet dreams!” Obito watches Deidara walk away, just barely conscious of the strange glance Sasori pitches in his direction when Deidara reaches his room.

[akatsukibandhscenarios]

50. 5 Years Later

It’s been a great 5 years with your husband and child/children. There have been a lot of ups and downs; tears and smiles. Though no matter what, your husband and you have faced it all together.

Pein

“Pein! Get the towels. Elliot has spilled the cup of juice again!” You called from the kitchen. Moments later Pein came in with a new roll of paper towels in hand.

“Will these be enough?” Pein questioned, handing you the roll. You nodded your head, taking the towels. He helped you clean the spill as your child ran off giggling.

“Such an evil little child we have.” You told your husband with a smile.

“I wonder how he got like that.” Pein mumbled. You chuckled and shook your head. “I must get going now.”

“Alright Pein. Have a good day. Make sure you come back in one piece.” You said, kissing his lips.

“Of course _____.” Pein responded before heading out of the house. You smiled to yourself. It was always so great how he balanced being an Akatsuki member, well leader, and a family man.

Zetsu

“Danny, Sammy, get out of your father’s flowers!” You called to your two little boys. You were chasing them around, trying to wrangle them before your husband got home from whatever mission he was on at the time.

“What’s going on here?” A growl like voice asked from the entrance to the garden. The three of you froze and turned to see Zetsu standing there, looking horrified. A lot of his flowers were stomped on.

“Oh no! Dad is home! Run!” Both boys cried out before running away.

“Boys!” You cried out moving to chase them.

“It’s alright.” White Zetsu told you, even though Black Zetsu was not thinking of saying such a thing. Zetsu guided you out of the garden. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s great to see you too.” You leaned up and kissed your husband. Moments later you heard cries of disgust from your boys. Both you and Zetsu darted after them, while they just giggled. It was clear that not only you but the boys too enjoyed having Zetsu home.

Sasori

Your two girls were currently sneaking into your bedroom to bother your sleeping husband. Sasori had stayed up the entire night fixing up his puppets that suffered damage during his last mission. You wanted to keep your daughters away from him but they were sneaky and tricked you into playing hide and seek so they could go to their father. As soon as they could they darted towards Sasori. They were so excited to have him back so you really couldn’t blame them.

“Daddy!” Both girls screeched while pouncing on him. He shot up, shocked. Both girls giggled and jumped on him. “Daddy! Daddy!” They cried happily. He couldn’t he angry with them even though he wanted to be, so he just internally smiled and pulled them to lie down next to him.

“Hush you two, daddy is tired and needs sleep.” He told them, calming them instantly.

“You’re a puppet though.” Tara said, questioning why he needs sleep.

“Yes, but still sleep is important.” Sasori mumbled. He lay back down and the girls lay with him, falling asleep almost immediately.

“Did they bother you?” You asked from the doorway where you had watched the whole thing.

“Of course not.” Sasori told you. You smiled and made your way to the bed. You snuggled up with all of them. Sasori leaned over and kissed the top of your head before pulling you all close. He was glad to have this time with his family between missions and your three were glad as well.

Itachi

Itachi hadn’t gone on many missions since Serenity was born. He went on some still, but his sickness kept him home more often than not. You had grown concerned, but he was glad to be able to be himself and spend time with his two favorite people. That’s all how you ended up watching Itachi make several attempts to make an omelet. He was a great ninja, however, not a good cook.

“Itachi, you know it doesn’t have to be perfect right? I could also take over for you if you need me too.” You told your frustrated husband.

“No, I can do this.” Itachi calmly responded. Serenity was watching her father in awe as he moved around the kitchen attempting to cook.

“Daddy, you’re amazing. I believe in you.” Serenity said, happily next to him. The two of them were wearing matching aprons and looked so adorable.

“Thank you.” Itachi said, leaning down to hug his daughter. She giggled and hugged him back. She was just too adorable for him to not hug, and it was nice for you to see him showing his caring side. Unfortunately he should have been paying attention to his food.

“Um, Itachi, you’re burning the food.” You told him, slightly concerned. He gasped and hurried to handle the situation. “Come on Serenity, let’s go get some food for the three of us.” You and your daughter made your way to the market laughing and happy all the way. Eventually Itachi joined you, having run out of cooking supplies.

Deidara

You and your daughter Super Nova, Nova for short, were on your way to Deidara’s bomb workshop. It was where he stored any explosive material so no young people could accidentally kill themselves. Nova was never allowed in there, until now. You both felt that she was mature enough to not touch what you tell her to stay away from.

“Deidara? You ready for a lunch break?” You called, entering his workshop. He was using his clay to mold another bird like bomb.

“Huh? Yeah just a minute, hm.” He responded, clearly focusing on his task. You and Nova sat on a bench and watched. She was so absorbed in it and it made Deidara proud that his child was so interested in his work. One day he planned on teaching her all he knew, but you both were going to make sure that Nova didn’t turn into a criminal like Deidara.

Hidan

If there was any one thing that you were most concerned about involving your children, it was Hidan, their father. He’s a great father, but his terrible language and his brutal murders he commits as sacrifices were not appropriate for your children. You didn’t want them to be traumatized by your husband. So you and Hidan decided to wait for them to see the Jashin ritual and you had Kakuzu’s help keeping Hidan from swearing. So overall the first few years were good, no traumatized children. However it all ended when Sarah and Justin walked in on Hidan sacrificing some ninja. Why he was doing so in the living room, you’ll never know, but he did and the kids saw. Hidan and you waited for the kids to react horribly, but they shocked you.

“Oh wow dad killed him!” Justin laughed, along with his sister.

“That’s awesome, can we watch you from the beginning next time?” Sarah asked, hopefully. Hidan and you just looked at each other, shocked.

“Does this mean I can say fuck now?” Hidan asked, as hopeful as his daughter.

“Daddy said a bad word!” The twins cried out in unison. “Uncle Kuzu! Daddy said a bad word!” They both proceeded to run and find Kakuzu.

“I guess not.” Hidan mumbled, causing you to laugh at your husband’s pouting face.

Kakuzu

You, your husband and your daughter, Kristina, were at a market so she could pick out a new summer dress. Kakuzu spent most of the time telling Kristina to not choose anything too expensive and she had agreed. Until she came across a beautiful bright sundress that she instantly fell in love with.

“Dad, mom come look.” She called out, summing the two of you which had been looking at new cloths for Kakuzu. She showed you the dress. It was the only one and in her size. It also was the only one in the store to look like that. “I choose this one!” She smiled brightly as she twirled around with it, imagining what it would be like to wear it.

“Kristina, it’s double what the budget is.” Kakuzu told his now upset child. She almost looked like she was going to cry, making you give your husband an ‘I’m going to burn all your money if she cries’ look. He quickly understood and began speaking again. “However it does suit you so you can get it.”

“Yay! Thank you!” She was once again as happy as can be. You smiled at your husband. He was a much better parent than you thought he’d be.

Tobi

Even though your husband acted like a child most of the time, he was actually a great father. He was definitely great when it was time to play at the playground. He would run around and do all the things Dexter wanted to do. It was a great time for you to relax and just observe for once. Until they got to the swings.

“Mommy, come push us!” Dexter called out to you. You ignored him at first, and continued reading your book. You figured they’d just push themselves, but as Dexter kept calling for you, you sighed and closed your book.

“Tobi why can't you push him?” You asked, once you were standing with your family.

“I want to swing too.” He replied in his Tobi voice. You smiled but sighed as you began pushing your son first. He was easy to push; it was Tobi who gave you issues. He could be annoying, but at least you were never bored or lonely. Tobi wouldn’t allow you to feel either of them.

Kisame

Swimming was a huge thing that Kisame loved to do. His child, Alexander, did not love it as much as his father did though. He actually was afraid of it. Which is why you and Kisame were now at a pool trying to convince Alex to at least touch the water. It took a while and a lot of reassurance, but finally he got in. he clung to Kisame as they swam around peacefully.

“This isn’t too bad.” Alex finally admitted to his father.

“Does that mean you want to learn to swim?” You asked from beside your husband. Your son nodded his head. Both you and Kisame were excited to finally be able to teach him to swim. It was a great bonding experience for the three of you considering you didn’t get to spend much time together because of Kisame’s missions.

Madara

Now that Eclipse, Adrien and Arcadia were older, you and Madara decided it would be a good idea to get a bigger house. It also was necessary considering there were not only 3 children, but 3 extra birds from Tiberius. The two of you had chosen a house alone, and were now ready to show the house to the children.

“So the house has 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. There is a pool and a large yard.” You explained to the three of them.

“So we each get a room?” Adrien questioned, happily.

“And Tiberius and her children get their own room?” Arcadia asked next.

“Yes to both.” You said, smiling.

“How did you buy the house?” Eclipse questioned, knowing fully well that your part time job and being a ninja did not pay enough to buy a house like this.

“The previous owners were murdered.” Madara simply replied.

“Daddy, did you kill them?”

“Yes I did. They wanted to hurt you all and your mother.”

“Oh, okay.” They all replied together. It honestly concerned Madara and you that all your children were completely alright with murder, but you knew they’d grow to be great ninjas because of it.

[akatsukibandhscenarios]

6. When You Both Confess

Pein You were watching Pein do paperwork. You didn’t mind just sitting there. You just wanted to be with him in the room. Suddenly, a piece of paper slid off his desk. You got up to pick it up for him. When you saw the paper you froze. On it was a note to you. The note said: ‘_____, my actual name is Nagato. The Pein you know is one of my bodies, in a sense. I love you, regardless of which body I show it through.’ “W-What?” You asked out loud. You were shocked and confused. “I wasn’t sure how to say that to you.” Was Pein/Nagato’s response. “I’m not sure which I’m more shocked about. That you are a different person, or that you love me…” You got up and paced around for a few moments. You weren’t sure what you were about to do or say, but then it actually hit you. You loved Pein, and you just found out that he loved you too. “Are you angry?” You walked over to Pein and hugged him. “No. I love you too, but I do want to see what you really look like.” You could feel that he slightly hugged you back. It was as if he had never touched a female before. “That could possibly be arranged.” Zetsu You and Zetsu were working hard on your garden. You wanted it to be perfect, but something was missing. Your favorite plant was not there anymore. “Zetsu, where is my flower?” You asked him sadly. He looked at you, then looked over to where he knew it was. “I’m not sure.” The white half replied. “Maybe you should look for it.” The black half said, annoyed. You glared and went looking for it. You finally found it after 5 minutes, but there was a little card with it. There were blood red letters on it that said ‘We like you a lot. Be ours or get eaten.’ You turned to look at Zetsu. “What is this?” You held up the card. “Are you stupid or something?” The black half snapped. “It clearly tells you what it is.” “Well, I guess this is sweet.” You touched the blood red letters. “Is this actual blood?” “Yes.” “Gross, but I like you too.” You were disgusted, but happy. Sasori You were in Sasori’s workshop with him. You were working on one of your puppets and he was working on one of his. It was a normal peaceful afternoon. You began to hear noises so you looked up. A little puppet was coming up to you. It was holding a necklace. You looked from the puppet up to Sasori who was now standing over you. “I made this for you. I have these feelings for you; I believe it is called love. Will you be my significant other?” Sasori asked. There was a little hint of nervousness to his voice. You couldn’t help but giggle. “Of course Sasori.” You stood up and hugged him. “I love you too.” You felt Sasori let out a sigh of relief. “That is good. Now put on the necklace.” “Can’t you be any more patient with me?” You asked, smiling. He just looked at you as if you were dumb to ask that. You rolled your eyes and picked up the necklace. It was a little wooden heart with ‘S + (First Letter Of Your Name)’ carved into it. “Do you like it?” “Yes I do. It’s so sweet.” “Don’t expect any more ‘sweet’ things from me.” “I won’t.” You couldn’t help but start to laugh. Sasori didn’t laugh, but he did smile a little bit. ~ Itachi You and Itachi were hanging out at your house. You had made lunch and now you both were eating in silence. There was clearly something you both wanted to say, but neither of you knew how to start it. So how do you solve that problem? You just blurt it out and hope for the best. “I think I’m in love with you!” You yelled suddenly. At the same time Itachi said: “I might love you.” “You what?” Both of you questioned in unison. You couldn’t help but start to giggle at the situation. You got up from your chair and hugged him. You didn’t expect him to hug you back, but to your surprise, he did. Itachi and you stayed like that until he spoke again. “You’re mine now. Understand?” Itachi told you. Sure that was demanding, but in its own way it was also sweet. You pulled back to look at him in the eyes to respond. “That means you are mine now too.” You told him with a smile. He nodded his head and pulled you back into the hug. You two were content to stay like that, until your stomach growled loudly. You pulled back, face red with embarrassment. “Uh…” “Let’s finish eating.” When Itachi said that, you could have sworn he was smirking at you. Kisame It was a beautiful sunny day, so you and Kisame were at the beach once again. You two were swimming around, trying to swim faster than the other. You guys ended up getting tired, so the two of you returned to the shore and laid down on your towels that were under a big umbrella. The two of you laid in silence until he broke it. “I’m very sure that I’m in love with you _____.” Kisame told you suddenly. You sat up and looked at him like he was crazy, or better yet, like his blue skin was now neon pink. “W-What?” You asked shocked. “I love you. I understand if you don’t feel the same.” You answered by pouncing onto him and hugging him tightly. “Wh-“ “I love you too, you silly shark. I just didn’t think you’d feel that way about me.” You couldn’t help but giggle with excitement over his feelings for you. “Oh, well it seems like we both got a good surprise.” “Yup, now let’s go swimming again.” The two of you got up and you half dragged Kisame to the water. “You’re my girlfriend now.” He informed you simply. “I am if you are my boyfriend now.” You smiled at him as you two got back into the water. Hidan Hidan and you were out sacrificing people. You weren’t able to do the ritual Hidan did, but you could still kill people and then lay in the diagram like Hidan does. The two of you were just finishing up when Hidan decided to speak. “_____, you’re my fucking girl now. I’ve been thinking and I don’t want to fuck anyone but you.” “But Hidan, we haven’t had sex yet.” “It…that was just…” He sat up, clearly annoyed and maybe a bit flustered. “Was that your way of telling me that you love me?” You sat up to look at him, eager to hear his response. “Pfft, I fucking guess so.” Hidan looked away, so you got up and went to him. You got down on the ground with him and hugged him. “Well, I love you too.” “Good, let’s start killing more fuckers so maybe Jashin will make you immortal like me.” “Alright.” You stood up. “Let’s kill more bitches!” You yelled, holding your retractable spear up in the air. Hidan laughed as he stood up with his and wrapped his arm around you. “Let’s get go, my bitch.” Kakuzu Kakuzu and you had just gotten back from a bounty hunt. The two of you were sitting on your couch and were splitting up the money. Kakuzu “accidentally” dropped money on the ground as he was handing it to you. When the two of you bent down to pick it all up, he slipped an extra dollar on the top. When you picked it up, you froze. Written on the dollar was three words ‘I love you’. “K-Kakuzu?” You looked up at him and smiled. “I love you _____. More than I love money.” Kakuzu told you. you smiled brightly and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I love you more than money too.” You giggled as you felt his arms wrap around your waist. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He whispered in your ear. Even while whispering, his voice was deep and it made you shudder. It seems like that voice will always make your brain turn to mush. “Of course I will be, as long as you’ll be my boyfriend.” “Oh yes I will.” “Good, now let’s go back to counting the money.” He nodded his head and you could see the small smile he had on his face that he thought was hidden under his mask. Tobi You and Obito were lying on your couch together. When he was calm and without a mask, you called him Obito, and when he was masked and hyper, you called him Tobi. You enjoyed your time with both Tobi and Obito. “We love you, you know.” Obito told you when he thought you were asleep. You smile and waited to see if he’d continue talking. “I wish we could come out and tell you, but I guess we’re worried that we’ll get you caught up in our weirdness and scare you away.” “Weirdness is good Obito.” He looked down at you, shocked. “Tobi, Obito, whichever you are, I love both of you. You’re honestly the same guy underneath it all.” “I’m glad you think so.” “You’re my boyfriend now.” “Oh am I?” He teased. “Yup, I’m your girlfriend and you’re my boyfriend.” “Don’t I get a say in it?” “Nope,” You sat up and smiled at him. “_____ needs to be punished then.” He put his mask back on and his childish voice was back. You’re eyes widened. He then began to tickle you. You let out a girly scream and ran off, him right behind you. Deidara Deidara had told you that he was making a special bomb that would let off a special explosion. You asked him what it was, but he refused to tell you. He told you that it was a secret and that you would find out soon enough. Suddenly, he burst in through your door, knocking it off its hinges. You looked up from the chair you were sitting on and stared at him. “_____ I have that bomb ready.” Deidara told you excitedly. “Okay?” “Come on I want to show you it right now, hn.” He dragged you out of your house and to your explosion field. “Ready, hn?” “Yep.” “Katsu!” With that, a huge explosion went off. Sparks of all different colors went everywhere. It then spelled out the words ‘I love you _____’. You gasped and looked at Deidara. He looked pretty proud of himself. “You love me?” “Clearly, hn. I didn’t spend a week on that for nothing, hn.” “You’re an ass Barbie, but I love you too.” You hugged him tightly and he hugged you back. “You’re mine now, hn.” “Yes, yes I am.”

Madara

Madara (and his falcon Tiberius) has been living with you for a while now. You have managed to get him to open up and talk rather than just reply to whatever you say. He told you his plans for the future and how he wants to rule the world. The usual things you’d expect from him. He also began to be a little nicer to you. He didn’t wear the ‘I’m going to murder you’ face much when he was around just you. It was nice, you finally felt like he was your friend. Though of course, he was an attractive bad boy mysterious type of guy and your heart decided that it was going to fall in love with him. You couldn’t tell him that though, right? I mean he would probably kill you for it. You were sitting outside with your eyes closed, enjoying the beautiful cool and rainy day as you thought about your feelings for the man. You heard a flutter of wings to your right, and opened your eyes to see Tiberius staring into your face.

“What do you want?” You questioned, a bit freaked out. He had a scroll holder on his back, which usually wasn’t there. Wasn’t that a hawk’s job not a falcons? Oh well. You reached out and took it off him completely, as he looked annoyed to have it on him. He then flew back into the house without a sound. You slowly opened the scroll compartment and a scroll fell out. You unrolled it to be able to read the writing on it.

It said:

‘_____, it has come to my attention that you feel some form of more-than-friendship towards me. I thought it best to address the situation before it got out of control. I too have begun to feel some form of more-than-friendship towards you. I suppose it is what can be called “love”. Therefore I believe this means we are “in love” and now a “couple”. Which is not something I’ve had time for in my life previously.’

“Oh…” You were shocked. Madara had just admitted he knew you were in love with him, but also said he loved you as well. In a weird, non-feeling type of way. You had grown accustomed to his behavior though. It was hard for him to feel anything but hate and negativity. You smiled to yourself. You could vaguely sense him watching you from the doorway. “Yes Madara, I love you.” You called out to the man, figuring he was waiting for some form of verbal announcement of the fact. You felt his presence retreat back inside the house, but he felt lighter, like he was happy.

[akatsukibandhscenarios]

3. When He Finds Out You Have A Boyfriend

Pein You and Pein were hanging out all day and now were on the way back to your house. The two of you had met up a few more times, but he was a busy man. You two ate at the restaurant you guys met at and walked around. As you walked past a certain restaurant, you remembered something. “Oh gosh! I have to be hanging out with my boyfriend in an hour!” You yelled, starting to panic. “You have a boyfriend? You never told me this.” “Sorry, I guess I kind of forgot. It is a pretty new relationship.” “Oh.” “I got to go. I’ll see you whenever you’re not busy again.” “Goodbye.” Pein stood there thinking about what to do. He felt an odd attachment to you and did not like that you were dating someone. Being the “god” he is he decided to take it upon himself to rid you of your boyfriend. He just wasn’t sure how to go about it yet. Zetsu You and Zetsu tried to hang out at least twice a week. You were normally watching ninjas and gardening. You two were at the greenhouse today though. You needed some more flowers for your garden. The two of you had been there for a little while until you saw a certain flower. It reminded you that you had a boyfriend because that was the flower he gave you on your first date. “Oh gosh Zetsu.” “What is it _____?” The white half of the plant replied, worried. “I’m about to be late for my date with my boyfriend.” You turned around and began to run off. “Sorry Zetsu! We’ll pick out plants later!” “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The white half asked the black half. “Yes I am. This might be the first good idea you’ve had.” The black half responded. Both were in agreement that your boyfriend was not allowed to live any longer. Sasori You and Sasori spent the days together fixing your puppets and creating new ones. He showed you his puppets and told you about his puppet body. He was happy that you were okay with it and actually even loved that his body was a puppet. The two of you were at his workshop in your town. You guys were talking about new designs and new hidden weapons. When Sasori mentioned the time, you began to panic. You jumped up from your seat. “Oh gosh it’s that late already? Oh he’s going to be so angry with me.” You hurried around gathering the things you had needed to leave with. “What’s going on?” Sasori asked. “My boyfriend. He told me he was taking me out somewhere and it was five minutes ago. He’s going to be furious with me.” You turned and ran to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” “Boyfriend? She has a boyfriend that has now kept her from working with me. Now I have to wait until tomorrow?  Do not like to wait, and I do not like that she has a boyfriend.” Sasori stood up and thought about the situation. He was for sure going to do something to your boyfriend. Itachi Itachi and you were at the lake down the street from where you live, again. The two of you had met up there every other day for the past two weeks. You guys mostly talked and skipped rocks, or with you, tried to skip rocks. “So, how was your day?” Itachi asked when you arrived at the lake. He stood up and looked at you. His eyes were black, meaning he didn’t feel like he needed his sharingan around you. “Hey ‘tachi I’m so sorry. I have a date with my boyfriend today. I just came to let you know.” “Hm, I see. Well enjoy your date then.” “Thanks! I’ll see you later!” with that you ran off. “How dare another man be around her.” Itachi growled crushing the rock he held in his hand. He was clearly angry and was how plotting against your boyfriend. He had planned out how to get you and your boyfriend apart when he suddenly had this bad feeling. He felt like something was wrong with you and that you were in danger, because of your boyfriend. His black eyes swirled and his sharingan activated as he took off to find you. Kisame Kisame and you were walking down the beach talking. Over the last two weeks you’ve been going to the beach to swim or walk, and going to the market to shop together. Today was different though. “Well,” You started to say as you saw the sun was about to go down. “I have to go early today. I have a date with my boyfriend tonight and I have to get ready.” “You’ve never mentioned a boyfriend before.” “I just started dating him last week and this is our first date.” You smiled softly at him. “I’ll see you another time Kisame.” “Bye.” He whispered as he watched you walk away. He was hurt and angry that you hadn’t told him about your boyfriend. He now decided to watch your date to make sure that your boyfriend doesn’t try anything perverted or try to hurt you. He couldn’t help but feel like something was going to happen tonight. He was now definitely worried about you and your well-being. “I’m bringing Samehada with me.” Kisame told himself. Hidan Over the two weeks you’ve known Hidan you have watched him sacrifice many people, gotten drunk with him and began to learn about Jashin. He was searching for a person to kill when you realized what time it was. “Shit Hidan, I’ve got to go!” you suddenly yelled, scaring the silver haired man. “Where the fuck do you have to go?” “I have a date with my boyfriend.” You started to leave. Hidan said nothing until you left the bar. “Bastard. Jashin, it seems like you’ll be receiving more than one sacrifice tonight.” He went to get his triple-bladed scythe and then began looking for you. He wasn’t sure how he was going to kill your man. He just knew he wanted to murder him. He ignored it, but deep down in his gut he felt like something was going wrong and that he needed to find you immediately. Kakuzu “You are a bounty hunter?” This was the fifth time Kakuzu asked you this. For some reason he couldn’t wrap his head around a girl like you being a bounty hunter. He had run into you at a collection office and was shocked. You were getting annoyed with his constant question so you rolled your eyes and yet again told him the reason. “Yes, I’ve been a bounty hunter for a few years now. The bank job wasn’t paying enough so I was low on money and even though I’m not a ninja, I’m pretty good at getting who I’m after. Though I do only go after non-ninjas since I, myself am not one.” “I can honestly say I did not expect that.” “Clearly.” You giggled and then suddenly gasped. “I got to go! I’m going to be late for my date.” You grabbed your money and ran off quickly. You felt bad about leaving like that, but your boyfriend was already angry with you since you’ve been late to the last few dates. You were afraid of what he could do if he got even madder, since he has a history of abusing his women. “I wonder if he has a bounty on his head.” Kakuzu wondered to himself as he slowly began walking in the direction you had run to. He was already thinking about how to kill your boyfriend. He wasn’t sure if he should do it quick and painlessly, or slow and painfully. Either way, he was determined to kill your boyfriend, especially after seeing the fear in your eyes when you realized you were late. Tobi Tobi and you were at the candy store buying candy, obviously. You two had done this many times over the last two weeks. You both also spent time at the park. You guys always have had fun, but today you were off. “Tobi wants to know what’s wrong with _____.” Tobi suddenly said when he noticed you were sad. “It’s nothing Tobi. I’m fine.” The way you said that made Tobi think otherwise. “Don’t lie to Tobi.” Tobi told you. He set his candy down and gave you all his attention. “I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.” “_____ has a boyfriend?” He sounded sad. “Yeah. Hey I have to go and talk with him. I’ll see you later Tobi.” Tobi watched you leave, without your candy. “Poor _____.” Tobi said in his cheerful voice. Suddenly it dropped and was now his deep chilling voice. “Her boyfriend might be cheating on her. Now he really must die. No one hurts _____ and gets away with it.” He instantly had a plan to murder your boyfriend. He would cause him extra pain since the man hurt you. Deidara Deidara and you were at your explosion field. You two were experimenting with explosions. Over the last two weeks you guys did a lot of that, along with spending time at the fireworks shop and discussing art. “Barbie, what time is it?” You asked Deidara before he set off another explosion. “Probably like 5-7 pm, hn. Why, hn?” “I have to go then.” “Why, hn?” He seemed a bit mad. “I have a nice date with my man.” You turned around and waved to him. “See you later!” “Why hasn’t she told me that before, hn?” Deidara asked himself. He smirked at what he suddenly thought. He wanted to blow up your boyfriend so he could have you. He really didn’t care if you’d be mad or not, he just wanted to blow someone up. “Got to go get ready to make _____’s boyfriend into artwork.” Deidara said happily as he got his bombs ready.

Madara

Madara had ended up appearing at your house, in your living room a week after your previous meeting. He told you he had no place to go since he was a wanted criminal who was weak at the time. He didn’t really let you say no to him staying there, so you just let it go and told him he could stay. It was odd living with Madara, mostly because you weren’t sure if he was going to kill you or not for the littlest things. He mostly didn’t affect your life at all, until your boyfriend sent you a hawk telling you he was returning to the village within a day or so. He had been off on a mission, and you had honestly forgotten about him. You and he lived together for the most part. He wouldn’t like knowing that Madara was now living there as well. So you quickly came up with a plan. You went to find Madara, sitting on your couch, with a falcon sitting next to him.

“Um, what is that?” You questioned, confused and concerned.

“A falcon.” Was all Madara said.

“I see that. Why is it on my couch?”

“I am training him.”

“Why on my-. Never mind. Listen, my boyfriend is coming home in a few days. I need to hide you somewhere. I can't show him that another guy has been living here and if he found out it was you, then he’d have to go and tell someone which would just end up with you killing him. So you need to go somewhere until he leaves on a mission again.” You explained to the man paying more attention to the falcon.

“I could just kill him. That would solve everything.” It sounded like it was an offer that was a completely normal thing to offer someone.

“Um, no.” With that, you went to go find a room at a hotel for him to stay at. Hopefully he would take the falcon with him.